All Fantasy Everything - A Diner (w/ Daniel Van Kirk, Sean Jordan, David Gborie)

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

You like to eat?! WE KNOW YOU LIKE TO EAT! AND, you like to chill! Please join the GVG and the DVK as we draft "A Diner!". We pick 2 entrees, a dessert, an aesthetic, and a wild card. Dig in.  Episode Guest: Daniel Van Kirk @danielvankirk IG: @danielvankirk Podcasts: Pen Pals and  Dumb People Town   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.    Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @marsmel IG: @mars.melSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting a diner. Our guest today is stand-up comedian and host of the podcast Dumb People Town and Pen Pals. You wanted him. You got him.

We're so happy he's here the very funny daniel van kirk hello i'm your host ian carmel and as always i'm joined by friends and comedians sean jordan and david borey let's get into it Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where Sean is on one. What happened? He's shot one. I was looking up. Okay, I realized because this happened last episode. You can talk whenever.

Great. I just want to hear this explanation. Yep. So last episode, sometimes we don't mention that there's the cold open before, like you just did. Sure. And sometimes when you say the guest name, they'll say something, and then we just steamroll it.

And so I pulled out my phone. I was like, if Dan sees me looking at my phone, clearly he won't say anything. Why? Because I'm looking at my phone. And then he did, and my finger went up like a prick and i apologize like a prick i did i gave him the finger but he was also looking at his phone so it was very loud wow i did could you imagine if i lived my life taking my cues off of whether or not you seemed interested no i wouldn't do anything.

I've been interested every second I've been around you. You're interesting. So please. Same, same. Please. I apologize for the finger. I do. We should have given you the heads up. And more specifically, Sean should have given you the heads up.

So once again, this is on Sean Jordan. No, I blew it. Yeah, I blew it, man. It's all on me. Well, technically, I blew it. I do the intro. David's the face and the money man. And Sean Jordan's supposed to give people instructions. I'm the man. It's all on me. I do the intro. David's the face and the money man. And Sean Jordan's supposed to give people instructions.

I'm the tech. You're the Leonardo. Where I am? I can't remember. And the wheel man. That's another great draft you guys have probably done. We haven't done a wheel. No, where you draft your heist crew.

Have we done that. You had to. We did forever ago. You've had to. It was like one of those we figured out the topic like an hour before the draft, I think. And that's one that I'd like about a day for. We could get that one back. I wouldn't mind getting that one back.

There's a bunch that I would love to run back, guys. We might have to do the reboot soon. Yeah. I think the reboots are fun ideas, man. Or like the continues. I say we go all the way back to number one and we just restart the whole thing. run back guys we might have to do the reboot soon yeah i think the reboots are fun ideas man or like that continues i say we go all the way back to number one and we just restart the whole because it would be really fun because two things would happen it would be really fun to hear you guys do some topics again because a it'd be interesting to see ways in which your views have changed where

you're like i no longer want that person or i no longer want that thing. And B, even if your views haven't changed, everyone in your crew knows what you want. Yeah. So if you haven't changed, you're like, you fucking know that I was going to draft Stand By Me in that fucking movie draft. Well, these two will jump down your fucking throat if you start doing that.

I picked Lil Boosie one time in the Lils, and David flipped out. What's one Lil Boosie one time in the Lils and David flipped out. What's one Lil Boosie song? This is the way we live. So you took it disingenuously. That's not even his song. I took weed, the smell of weed, and they got mad at me because I don't smoke weed, but we were drafting smells and I love the smell of weed.

Psycho killer. He's a fucking psycho killer. You shouldn't be able to draft something you don't believe in. We're not the Chicago Bears. I believe in weed. I cannot smoke. I just to draft something you don't believe in this is we're not the chicago bears i believe in weed i cannot smoke i just can't do it i believe in it but you don't believe in a little boozy i like little boozy a little bit a little bit what's his real name david yeah that's a lie dude david if i answer that question it's a betrayal of every ounce of trust we've ever put in each other and i don't want to do that. Sean, do you think your team is going to flourish when they know after you

drafted them, you don't believe in them. Yeah, I believe. No, that's garbage, man. That's garbage.

And now this guy's like, I didn't even want to play in Detroit. Right. They know you're going for that draft pick, man. Next round. You know what I mean? They know you're tanking.

I think early on, I stopped going for, I think we all did stop going for what you think the others are going to pick. Sometimes there's a crossover and we all want good fellas. Well, if we both want it. Sure. Yeah. When we were all High Plains, did you guys do 90s movies? Yeah.

Yeah, because we talked about it in the green room the night before. Because here's the thing. You guys, I don't know if you know this. Ian, I don't know if you remember this. We were both having a lot of fun when we had this conversation. Yeah, it was the right time. Both of us. I barely remember.

It was a festive. Because I was so excited to tell you. So I do a weekend every year with all the guys I grew up. There's 16 of us. We still get together once a year at my family's little shack of a cabin. I do remember this. In Wisconsin. And so we always would get together and do our fantasy, our actual NFL fantasy draft,

but because of kids and schedules and everything, we now kind of do it in July, which is a little too early to do your fantasy draft. So this past year out of my love for you guys and your show, I told these guys, I go, we're going to draft nineties movies. And imagine doing this with 15 people who have no idea what you're talking about. Holy shit. That would be fun. Yeah, we drafted it. We drafted nineties movies. And then we, I took a picture of the board with the knot. You couldn't see who drafted what, and then I put it out to social media for them to vote on who won. I got good fellas in like the ninth pick in the first round. That's ridiculous. I know. I know. I had like genre

tops for like everything that I picked. I ended up winning in the landslide. But yeah, it was and I told you about it. They were picking like drop dead Fred. Well, I saw and it was special to me and you're like, yeah, good fellas. Anywhere out of the top three is insane. Do you remember what went like one, two, three, two, one,

one. I want to say Jurassic Park, but there's no way. I was literally thinking that. That makes sense. It's good, but like we're adults now. I mean, it's a great movie. Whoa, dude, you were talking. You love Jurassic Park. I picked it.

You love dinosaurs. I fucking love it. But I'm just saying, if we're doing all the 90 movies we're adults now it's great i think i'd pick casino over goodfellas and that was like my big move of the draft was casino over goodfellas yeah casino well you're wrong you're wrong about that i don't know man i the more the older i get Casino, and we've done this, Goodfellas, for me, it falls off about five-eighths of the way through. No, no, about seven-eighths of the way through. Yeah.

And Casino, for me, the whole thing. You don't feel like Casino drags in the middle? Uh-uh. I love Casino. That's wild. Casino's so long. Yeah, the movie's six years. I love every second of it.

Every time. Sharon Stone, it's crazy because Sharon Stone and Lorraine Brock are like, man, who's better? And you can't really. It's like trying to pick your favorite stone. But Pesci's better in Goodfellas. He is better in Goodfellas. I have it for you.

I found it. Yes. Okay, let's hear it. Round one. First pick. I think it was 10, maybe 11 picks. Some guys couldn't make it. First, 1-1, Pulp Fiction. Yes. Okay, let's hear it. Round one. First pick. I think it was 10, maybe 11 picks. Some guys couldn't make it. First one, one, one pulp fiction.

Okay. I mean, I understand it, but not at all. Yeah. Then Forrest Gump. Yeah, I get it. Then this is a horrible third pick. Great movie. Horrible draft pick Schindler's List. Insane. Insanity. Insanity. That was a wild move.

Then this is where everything gets bad decent movies everything gets bad and we'll just we'll go well i'll just run you through the first round quick then the rock great movie not a first round that's a third round yeah armageddon came out in the 90s bad boys another great movie you could get that in the fourth i'm sorry for the sequel i prefer the sequel then this shouldn't even be on the board i'm sorry sorry. Dances with Wolves. That went out. It's filled in South Dakota. I don't know if you knew that, but so that makes it number one pick. I said what I said out of my heart. I would take this in

the first round. It doesn't need to be there, though. Days and confused not a first round. I could see love. I could see love. Somebody doing that. You got to see the board though. This is there are topics that are love. You got to draft that link later. I like it.

I see what you're doing. That's good. That is good. He took his hat off for that one. I actually picked that. And then Goodfellas, that was me. Then Office Space, horrible first round pick. And then the worst, I love my friend Dirk so much, but the professional, he rounded out the first round.

I know. If I ever meet Dirk, I'll say this to his face. Dirk wanted you guys to look at him like But the professional, he rounded out the first round. No, bro. I know. No, man. First round. If I ever meet Dirk, I'll say this to his face. Dirk wanted you guys to look at him like he was cool. If we were taking how we felt about these movies when we were 16 in the 90s or whatever. That's interesting. Sure. Leon was up there because that and like your Boondock Saints, you know what I mean?

That would have been Can't Hardly Wait would have been my first part. Those are all movies that your neighbor showed you your older neighbor can i tell you mine yes i yes i'll just tell you what i walked out with i was about to ask first round good fellas second round terminator 2 that's a first round pick fucking massive that's a top five that movie changed the game first pick then oh in ours the way it worked was and maybe you guys do this too you had to draft you had a miscellaneous you had a drama you had a comedy

you had a children's movie and then I like we didn't do that but I like okay yeah that's a so then so it was good I had good fellas that was my drama my action was Terminator 2 then I went miscellaneous and grabbed scream come on that's top of genre 90s

horror movie. Third round. Then my family or children's movie in the fourth round, Beauty and the Beast. Are you kidding me? Holy shit. And then fifth round, comedy. I got Wayne's World. See, I'm pretty sure I picked Wayne's World. No, Adam did.

They didn't know what was going to happen. David, you're correct. To be fair, they were introduced to this concept and had to do it within yeah they were that they were the arizona cardinals it was all but they know how fantasy draft works it's the same it's true exact concept they landed in the jungle dude this was a predator situation they didn't know they were there they didn't know they were there with arnold here's what's crazy the one guy took tried to to take Jurassic Park as a family movie, and we all vetoed it. Like, if you got more than two vetoes, you couldn't take it.

So he ended up taking a movie that I would have gotten in place of Beauty and the Beast, and that's Home Alone. So I almost walked out with Home Alone, Scream, Terminator 2, Goodfellas, and Wayne's World. That's a hangover day right there. It's tricky, Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park is a family movie. It is for everyone.

It's got to be action. It has to be. Sci-fi is what you're saying? Yeah, or miscellaneous. It is science fiction, but not... Anyway, your love has reached a whole bunch of Midwestern guys in a cabin in Wisconsin. Shout out to them fuck it that's right i love that my love was reaching a whole

cabin full of dudes in wisconsin from back in the day yeah yeah yeah i grew up in south dakota it's a quick little drive that man whose love is reaching a cabin full of folks in wisconsin dudes in wisconsin is sean jordan seanis jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram. Bruv. This comes out February 24th. Where can people see you after that? Man, take your ass to Boss's Chicken and Pizza, also a comedy club. It's in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Actually in

Tee, South Dakota. Just a stone's throw away from Sioux Falls. Watch me do stand-up for... We'll see what the crowd's like in Tee. What's the name of this place again? How do you spell it? Boss's spell it bosses so it's bosses comedy club but it's a chicken and pizza spot it's really good i don't know if those go together like that now we're gonna make them go together and zingers you know some buffalo zings that's what you're gonna get if you come see me what's the both kind of zingers no like a zinger like a laugh you know like a buffalo zing okay it was way funnier

than you guys are any of you're giving credit for am i stroking know, like a buffalo zing. Okay. It was way funnier than any of you are giving credit for. Am I stroking out? What's a buffalo zing? Nothing. I was saying they have buffalo wings. Oh, buffalo zings. I thought it was a dish. I thought it was a South Dakota dish. If you don't like that,

then go to Denver the next day on the 26th to the Bug Theater. About eight bells. I'll be doing the Grawlix. And I'll be serving Buffalo Zingers. Sean, a lot of the best art gets to the world about ten years before people are ready for it. Yeah, a lot of the worst art, too. I wouldn't even worry about that Buffalo Zingers thing. I'm shaky, David.

What are you talking about? Eat some food. Your sugar's low. No, I did eat some food. I had a no i i did eat some food i had a whole bag of these uh flaming hot ranch oh my god okay you guys please dan what what do you think about these i you're eating raccoon food that is horrible you're out of your mind they're dank dude you're out i'm sure they taste good and if you gave me one i'd be like oh that's pretty good but that's enough that literally that tastes i'm like i... Yeah, I tried it. I had a whole bag. Of course.

I feel great. You can't live like that. I will try them. Don't get me wrong. You should try them. It's going to be the only food at my wedding. So yeah, you'll try them. You want to eat.

That's pretty great. I'm bringing a briefcase charcuterie board, dude. I'm going to... Briefcases, man. I'm bringing a vegetable briefcase charcuterie board. You jump over that, but you just created a multi-million dollar business. And for that reason, I'm in. Yeah.

Let's get that briefcase charcuterie board. You just fold it open. It's ready to go. Dude. Hello. You sell those outside the Hollywood Bowl right before the Jackson Brown concert. Some girl named Julie comes up to you is like, how much for that? Like, yeah, you're in, dude.

I'm charging Julie 200. And then Julia, she takes it back to topanga she tells all her friends now you've got a trend on your hand your niche baby now you're the new lula row your tiktok blows up people just want to see you put the boards together in the briefcase we're fucking going to the bank on this hell yeah that is a good idea briefcase a fun idea oh it's portable you open it up everybody's oh my God, you got preserves? Like, perfect. Attaché case full of charcuterie? Come on. Come on.

You do different woods? A bead and handle for Julie? It's one of those ones that was right there. Yeah. It was right there the whole time. For the man or woman on the go to a good time. Yep. Use it. Yeah, of course. You're in though dude you're in

we're all getting percentage points on this this is the malibu house really what you the funny thing is is you know that if you sold those to the oaks which is a great little place for listeners on bronson and franklin uh they would those would sell out every week yeah those would sell out every week at that little general sandwich shop coffee store. You should take them to Williams-Sonoma. Billy-Sonoma? You said sandwich shop

coffee store. Yeah. I've never heard it called a coffee store before. You just said pizza and waffles bar. It's usually the other way around. Sandwich store coffee shop. Dude, I'm just freewheeling here, dude. This is Coppedome. This is a free range podcast.

I love it. That's how you get the fucking good marbling. Yeah. David Boyd is here. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Not on Twitter. Not on Twitter. Smart.

You motherfuckers. You fools. You pieces of shit. Yeah, David saw a swear word on there. Where can people see you post february 24th uh february 26 come see me at the the uh trinidad something lounge in trinidad i don't know the name of the venue it's it's in trinidad it's the lyricist lounge i will be with Wordsworth, Mos Def, the rest of the crew cutting up. Yeah, but yeah, come to Trinidad and then

I, you know, I obviously have my dates up and I'm not, like, stalling to pull my dates up so I can tell them. No, you wouldn't do that. Because that would be ass. Also, you know, March 17th through 19th, Laugh Shop, Calgary, Alberta, April 7th

through 9th, The Grove Comedy Club. Lowell, Arkansas. June 10th and 11th, Riot Comedy Club, Houston, Texas. July 12th through 16th, Rumors Comedy Club. Winnipeg, Manitoba. Also Michigan. We'll get those dates out soon. My Manitoba.

My Manitoba. My Manitoba. Daniel Van Kirk is here. Yes, my friend. And that's Daniel Van Manitoba. Daniel Van Kirk is here. Yes, my friend. And that's Daniel Van Kirk on Twitter and Daniel Van Kirk on Instagram as well. It is. You've got two wonderful podcasts, Dumb People Town and Pen Pals. Why don't you tell our friends about those podcasts?

Dumb People Town, it's three dumb news stories, and we have a comedic guest join us to just make fun of those. That's it. It's light, easy, simple, fun, delicious, yellow, different. That's the kind of beautiful, simple idea that brings up ideas. It echoes the beautiful, rustic simplicity of a charcuterie briefcase. Dude, I hope you aren't lying because we's not so much we would make so much money yeah it's not about the money man it's about changing the world well yeah but that's how

we're gonna do it with the money yeah okay uh our world and then pen pals that's the jam babies that's me and rory scoville and people send us letters about anything going on their life silly light-hearted sincere heavy, whatever they are. And then we read them back with ourselves or sometimes a guest, great guests like Andy Sandberg, Will Ferrell, hopefully you guys in the future, Amy Mann. They call me the Andy Sandberg of Denver. You are. I've been saying it for years. So, yeah, all that stuff. Those drop every single Wednesday. You can watch them on YouTube on Fridays at youtube.com slash Daniel van

Kirk comedy. And then we do a patron as well where you can hear follow up letters. Pen pals is really just a great time and a wonderful show and I love it a lot. As far as dates, can I tell you those? The only thing I'll just say is my tour is starting back up so on the 2nd of march i will be in portland oregon and then i will be in now wait a minute now wait go into that now go into that area i'll also be in portland oregon on the 2nd of march come bet your sweet little nuts i'll be at that show i can is that a weekend date sweet little that is wednesday i'll be at the siren theater i know i was supposed to do it. I was supposed to do it on Friday and they had a scheduling like, oh, we can't do Friday.

Motherfuckers. Turns out it just oh, it's Ash Wednesday too. Man. So I'll be there with a cross on my forehead. He loves that. He loves Catholicism. So I'll be up there at Pacific Northwest. I think I'm doing like Seattle, Portland, Bellingham and trying to fill in like

a Spokane date. I just don't know where to do a show there. Maybe a Walla Walla Washington? Yeah. Is that a spot? I will take any recommendation. I'll go over to Bend. I don't care if you guys know.

Maybe Eugene? Bend's got a dang spot. Well, whatever. This is all off-air stuff. Yeah, everything is at DanielVanKirk.com, but I really hope you check out Pen Pals. We've got some listeners in the Portland Oregon metro area so make sure you go check out Dan Van Kirk at the Siren Theater March 2nd

nestled right in between my father and my mother's birthdays the first and the third if you want to get Sue Carmella a gift while you're there I'm not gonna discourage it I'm gonna get her a briefcase last time I was there she got me a gift that's right she brought you a sandwich, right?

It was the best tuna sandwich I've had in two years. Well, let's lay off any other food items. Yeah. Sorry. Fuck. I'm sorry. It's all right. It's all right.

My name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Twitter at Ian Carmel on Instagram at Ian Carmel on the Jewish TikTok. I've never done Jewish TikTok before. Jewish TikTok. You've never done TikTok before. Jewish TikTok. You can find me there on JTalk. Well, you're not going to start playing basketball if you live with Michael Jordan. My fiance is huge on TikTok.

I watched your last TikTok. I was like, that would take me a year of schooling to learn how to do what she did. I'd have to learn. Like editing-wise? Yes. It was crazy. It was the one where she slipped and fell into bed. i was just like what i don't know what's her handle

i want to follow i love tiktok dana is small tv what is it dana schwartz i don't know how many z's she spells it with but she is small tv she does like lots of fun history facts and stuff like that i'm 100 in yeah 100 in I learned from one of Dana's TikToks that carrots are not good for your eyes. It was a myth. Right. Really? Anyway, yeah.

I love this stuff. Spinach doesn't have that much iron in it either. There was a misprint in a study in the 1920s, and then it just turned into this whole thing that spinach is full of iron. It's not. I just saw a TikTok that taught me that there's no Wolfpack leader. That's a lie.

Really? There's no alpha? No alpha? There's no alpha. So it's really just comes down. They're families. They're families. That's what Wolfpacks are, are families.

And so usually like the oldest member of the family is the leader. The guy in the like 50s or 60s who put out this idea that there was an alpha spent the rest of his career trying to correct it and no one will listen to him because he studied wolves that had been in captivity and they live completely differently than family wolves because they weren't a family so they had to pick an alpha so there is that whole thing is a lie that's amazing tiktok baby that is fucking tiktok shut up tiktok what kind of a hell would that be just like the rest of your life is like i know what i said right it's the same the guy who did flipper the guy who created flippers but the rest of his life trying to get people to not

like do organize like swim with dolphins, dolphins and captivity stuff. He like created this thing and it became this whole industry and all these island communities and countries and cities where people swim with dolphins and he spent the rest of his life trying to get people to stop doing it because he's like they know they're in captivity that they are completely cognitive. They're doing nice things because they want you to feed them like it's all they're literally just like reek from Game of Thrones. That's all dolphins are if they're in captivity swimming with you in Hawaii. It's so sad when you know that.

He spent the rest of his life trying to, yeah. Yeah. I'm not shutting my business down, but that is so sad. Tourism money, man. Tourism money. Tourism money, man. Tourism money. You can see me on the Late Late Show with James Corden, where I'm the little

cute little sidekick. Making little jokes. Watch Sex Unzipped on Netflix. Listen to all fantasy everything. Hopefully by now, I will have announced on Twitter this new show I'm on. This show I'm on. I'll be able to talk about it more on here tease them baby that's a tease we'll see we'll see keep

your eye on the sparrow i don't know my energy was strange there i don't know why i did that like no well nobody heard what you said no your mic cut out oh i said tease them baby tease that is a weird thing to put out and not get anything back I saw your lips and I was like He said something sexy but I don't know what he said Well you held up a finger to him which I thought was very rude Yeah that's what I hated about it David put this in your mouth I got something right here buddy

I'm bringing back double birds Yeah? What about that? What about the thumb out everything sucks can't get fucked what about the bear barely a fit barely a finger yeah when you put it up oh yeah it's it's just too it's too much hand so much too much hand still i like the old i like the like that johnny cash photo yeah. Ian, it just hit me. I've been meaning to tell you this is the last time I'm going to hang out with you.

Has anyone told you that with your wonderful health transformation, you look like Don Fry from the old UFC pride fighting days? This is a compliment. You look like Don Fry. This is a compliment. I got it with this. Oh, shit. I remember this, dude. Thank you.

You look a lot like Don Fry. Thank you so much. Sean, right? Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. My dad used to sit me down and make me watch that shit. oh shit i remember this dude you look a lot like don fry you thank you so much sean right yeah oh man oh yeah my dad used to sit me down and make me watch that shit don fry has pounded into my brain that's abuse wow i might have to get brolic now look at that mustache i might have to start putting it back on dude but like in a muscular way and i mean that in a gorgeous i hope you take it in the gorgeous way i take it in that way i kind of yeah thank you very much i've gotten tom selleck which i feel like is a little bit of course yeah yeah it's a little bit aspirational but wonderful but this dude i could be this dude

that is a handsome cage fighter very the the days of those first ufcs are so wild to think about because it wasn't uh really taught. It was just these dudes who wanted to fight. I miss it. It was like a lot of fat dudes. Dudes who were just clearly worked at a bar. They'd have a seven foot tall guy and they're fighting a bouncer. It'd be weird.

Those are weird. That's what I fell in love. I didn't mean to turn this into a plug, but the reason I knew that is I'm writing on an MST3K type show for UFC Fight Pass. The Sklars are hosting. The Sklars are bringing back cheap seats for UFC fights. And so I'm writing on it with them. And we're just going back and looking at all these old fights.

In UFC 1, there's a boxer who fights with one glove. He has one boxing glove on trying to also fight like Hoist Gracie, which... That's insane. What is the reasoning for that? One to grapple with? One for love and one for gloving. You look at Hoist Gracie and Ken Shamrock, and you're just like, what the fuck are those two going to do when they fight? That fight was like 45 minutes or some shit.

And Hoist Gracie eventually tapped him out but he looked he got his ass kicked and you know that was like where the whole rule came from my dad was sitting me he made me watch that no joke 20 times i just made me and i was like that this don fry thing is gonna end up with me being in a cowboy hat yeah man pride i think it's Pride 22. Don Fry versus Yaka Zuma. And he's this like seven foot tall, like Japanese guy with bleach blonde hair. And Don Fry just comes out and rapid punches him for two minutes straight. It is wild watching.

Yoshihiro, right? Yoshihiro. That's what it is. Sorry. Apologies for getting it wrong. I don't like that. I don't like that. That dude gets hit so many times. I don for getting it wrong. I don't like that. I don't like that. That dude gets hit so many times.

I don't like it either. And just is standing there and you're like, oh my God. That's unnerving. It's crazy to think that somebody could get hit that many times. But when you think about it being Ian, you're like, yeah, Ian, get his ass. It's awesome. I mean, that would be cool. I bet Don Fry had some sex with some hot ladies with some high, high jeans in the early 90s.

Oh, for sure. Yeah, and bangs. And bangs. Yeah. Yeah. Don Fry likes a mirror in the room when he has that sex. Sorry to sidetrack us, but it hit me finally. The only thing higher than the jeans was the percent of pure cocaine. We always talk about this. Here's a picture of

Don Fry wearing a shirt that says terrorists suck, and it's good to know where he stands on terror. He's the Toby Keith of pride and UFC fighting because that fight that he had with, what was his name, Yoshihiro? I'm sorry. I'm probably saying it wrong again. Anyway, that fight that he had was like eight months after 9-11. And so he's draped in the flag and everything he does while also wearing a shirt that says pain incorporated, which I'm not an LLC. If you're dealing in pain, you don't want

to be personally liable. So yeah, he was very like, you know, Toby Keith in it after 9-11 as so many people were, but yeah, Don Fry, baby AFE right after 9-11 was very patriotic for a couple of years. You guys drafted other things

that have fallen and it was sad, but it was cathartic. We drafted colors that won't run and it was the shortest draft we've ever done. That's fucking gold. Which didn't get drafted. It was only two colors

it was red white and then blue sure yeah yeah red white uh pink which turns out to be pink uh well heck you know we could talk about putting a boot in someone's ass all day but we are here to fantasy draft a wonderful fucking idea

that Dan Van Kirk came up with a diner yeah now break down how we're going to be drafting this diner for us run it so you get two entrees one dessert one aesthetic so just a something you love a diner an experience a thing you see that isn't related to the food you're eating and then a miscellaneous so you want to go another dessert you want to go another entree you want to go a side dish you want to go another entree, you want to go a side dish, you want to go another aesthetic, you want to go a personal memory from your own life, if you think that that'll play.

But just, you know, unlike the Lills, it's got to, whatever you draft, you should like it. Like I have some things on my list that if you guys clean me out, like I could draft it because I know it's good, but I don't eat that. I don't love it. So it's at the very bottom. We I don't eat that. I don't love it. So it's at the very bottom. We won't even get that.

I won't draft that. It's going to be very meaningful. No, it's going to be personal. Dan, all this Dan Severn talk, I noticed you snuck a jab in there because we're talking about UFC and everything. I like Lil Boozy. I noticed you snuck a little jab in there. I like him.

I like the smell of him. I'm sure you do. I do, too. Here's the deal. I do like the smell of like an old-fashioned pipe and i would never smoke one but i do love that smell for some reason yeah if i make it to my if i make it to my 70s knock on wood i will i will oh incorporate a pipe into my existence at that point oh yeah you should do every after 77 for sure. Like do heroin again.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Clear it out. I'm going to do weird shit. I'm going to do Novocaine. Yeah. Yeah. Just like wild.

Yeah. A pipe. You've earned it. If you make it to 70s, because if you go, first of all, it's not going to take you out in five years. And even if it did, and you started at 70, no one's at that funeral going so young. Nobody's saying that. No. They're saying, you know what? He lived his life. And even did you hang, and you started at 70, no one's at that funeral going, so young. Nobody's saying that. They're saying, you know what?

He lived his life. And even did you hang out the last few years? He was really doing all the things he didn't want to risk as he was younger. What a way to do it. Yeah, he was smoking Novocaine out of a pipe. Yeah. Smoked it to the silt of the pipe. He was going nuts.

David stabbed me once just because he said he wanted to see how it felt for him. Yeah, because I was old. You were old. He thought he couldn't get a boner anymore he was wrong how old can you get a boner legally you got one last one man we're all gonna have a last boner at some point pretty but don't you've had yours sean i'm getting a vasectomy he's had his last boner you can still get boners stop you can't. You can get a boner. TikTok says you can't. That's it for boners. No, you didn't. You can get boners.

That's curtain. You're going to be putting toothpaste back in the tube anytime you try to have sex, dude. Pushing rope. Well, it's done. Well, my thumb can get a boner. It's going to be a splint, dude. Yeah, you need dude yeah you need to splint tape a popsicle stick to it no one no one's gonna be able to tell it'll be fine that's so funny uh so i i couldn't believe you guys hadn't done a diner draft i absolutely love diners it is a big part of my who i am as a person so yeah uh i

i'm ready whenever you guys are i can my most interesting thing what i can't wait for is the aesthetics like what is this something somebody takes away depending on when i go it's gonna be wild true depending on what i point who are you with what time of day are you going what type of diner are you thinking of yeah fuck okay i'm oh man all right let's get into it because i'm fucking amped for this one. Extremely amped. Me too. The way we determine the order of the draft is a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors

played between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ooh. All right. Variety pack. Here we go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Ah, David wins. He's the odd man out. He throws the scissors against two rock. He's the unique shape. David Borey, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that?

Great question. Say you go to a diner you get one of those big ass menus where it's like this should definitely be three like folded pages but it's one giant huge laminated piece of paper you're just gonna keep giving away pics so you well no but you just you start at the top and you scan from left to right and you get all the way across i don't know what i want the fuck i need a little more time and then you go down and you scan from right to left you still it's like well i don't there's so many things so many different areas of the world i could go to you go down you go from left to right and you still you're not sold and uh and then you go down right to left keep going and then and then they come back and you

just order what you knew you were going to order the whole time. So it's like that. Ah, yes. Right to left reading. Basically, what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. It's a serpentine draft. With that in mind, David, what will the order of today's draft be? I got to go first.

Yeah. Fuck. I'm going to put Sean second. Okay. Okay. Then Kirk third. Ian, hot corner. Hot then kirk third ian hot corner hot corner got me in the hot corner there fourth fourth pick's good fourth pick's a good pick i love the fourth pick is i wanted to i wanted to i wanted a corner in this give me that like that

dude putting together fucking feelings i'm putting together fucking memories and dreams at the hot corner dude i know a corner really would have helped me well can i ask you do all three of you feel like you clearly have a one one or is it is there a few you could take is there a runaway one one i i have a one one for me this one's tricky because it's like four different areas or three different areas. I have my one one. Yeah. Okay. I got it. I mean, I'm starting with an entree.

I mean, you can say that because we're about to find out what it is. I won't tell you what my one one is, but we will get to that one one right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course

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Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed, except of course for Dumb People Town and Pen Pals. But that's it. Those are the only three podcasts. That's it. Those are your options. You want to listen to something on a road trip it's the entire body of music ever recorded and put on uh made available those three podcasts that's what you got or you can listen to those fucking tires

slapping against the road yeah you can listen to turn the page a bunch that's what i listen to yeah oh yeah pop secret metallica metallica obviously i heard um turn the page twice now on a long and lonesome highway east of omaha i've heard it twice really right there did you put it on coming back from penguins both times did you hear the engine droning out as one lone song i heard the whole song man did it happen to come on or did you put it on it happened to come on two different times two it on? It happened to come on. Two different times. Two different times. Go on, Daniel. The part about that song that always gets me is when he very vulnerably says that it bothers him when people say, is that a woman or a man?

You're Bob Seger. Yeah. And I'm like, first of all, fuck them. Don't let them gender assign your ass. You just be you. Don't fuck these people wondering that about yourself, Bob Seger. Also, I mean, Seger. Nobody was wondering. Nobody's really thought that about bob seger he thinks so we don't know hey everybody has their own insecurities yeah yeah you never know you know what you do when

somebody throws that mumbo jumbo at you i'm sorry to throw that word around you hit him with your night moves you turn the page there you go Night moves is the best Bob Seger song, though. Ooh, bro. Come on. It is. Hollywood nights. I love night moves, too, man. I love night moves.

Listen, they're all good, but night moves to me. Still the one? Still the one? We're still having fun. Dude, we got tonight. Old time rock and roll. You got tonight. You've been to a wedding where you didn't hear old time rock and roll.

Can I throw three words at you? Yeah. Rambling, gambling, and man. Now that's a fucking cut. Yeah. I'm saying night moves is the best one. I'm not saying these aren't cuts. Night moves is the best one.

Depends on where you're at. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I mean, if I'm driving around with a gun with one bullet in it, then turn the page.

Is that where you're at sometimes? Not a lot. Not a lot. Not enough to talk about it. Not a lot. I'm fine. Not now, so let's not get into it. I don't know if I got a gun next to me or not.

I don't know that. I don't want to know. I got eyes on you 24-7, brother. All right? Makes you feel safe. I appreciate it. That's Don Fry. That's Don Fry talking right there.

I got eyes on you 24-7, brother. You just got fried. Don, I don't know. I heard this place is kind of sketchy to go in. You don't worry about that. Yeah. You don't worry about that. We're going in this diner speaking of diners david boy david boy time for your first pick brother it was the first thing in my brain it was the first entree that came in my mind it's probably 60 of the meals i've ever had at diners. Okay. I'm going with the patty melt. Ooh, fuck you.

Yeah. God damn it. Not where I would have gone. God damn it. Nice pick. Can I also say, I feel like entrees are very deep. Entrees are very, obviously, it's a diner. Oh, yeah. These are-

It's deep, but it's- It's not that wide. There is. It's not that wide. It's not that wide. Yeah. It really isn't. Patty melt. Stuff that wide. It's not that wide. It really isn't. Stuff that you're like going, going to.

Yeah. Trusty Rusty. I love it. That wasn't my number one entree, but I was thinking I could have it be my number two and really run a fucking Jordan Pippen out there. Yeah. 100%. 100%.

You get a good patty melt, like a good patty melt. It's insane. And you order it and someone else at the table thought about it, and you can see them looking at your patty melt. I love patty melt envy. I love it. Oh, I should have got that. You should have.

You sitting there with your food. You didn't, you coward. You got that redacted that you could get anywhere. Yeah. Yeah. How's that redacted that you could get anywhere yeah yeah how do you how's that redacted taste yeah yeah me having this me having this patty melts a real mind goblin isn't it and then you literally go you know what hey if you want some i'm sure they'll let you order one and then they're mad then they're mad at you yeah we'll wait it's a good pick you said having that patty melt's a real what david it's a real mind goblin

it's good man you know about my this is the worst day of my whole life david's been trying that fucking bit two episodes ago but yesterday in in a calendar term yeah david and all of us discovered mind goblin which is it's like a deez nuts and david's trying to get you to fall for it dan i think that's what we're all doing that's exactly what happened david's been trying to mind goblin people for the last 24 hours and he's trying to do it just to a room of people and he's going over dude no one's giving you what's a mind goblin no i try i got some plans for tonight we got tonight there it is no i'm gonna tell dan what a mind goblin is mind goblin my nuts perfect it's perfect perfect it really is it is i would like to know the feeling

it's like a it's like a bentley you know what i mean where it's like all these pieces i don't know what you mean it's like a bespoke all these fucking honda all these pieces coming again you know what i mean craftsmanship there's a reason why it's so expensive it's because somebody put a lot of time into it well the great thing about it too is the gear change you get to do when you like how we go fucking mind gobbling they're like what you're like what's that and you go my goblin these nuts like that change is what makes it yeah i bet you if i can hit it i i think it can be epic because it's like you guys know the best d's nuts is the brent weinbach one right no the best d's nuts is on the chronic no the best d's nuts ever is the brent brent weinbach one right no the best deez nuts is on the chronic no the best deez nuts ever is the

brent brent weinbach one is that the one at the end of the russian alphabet no he's doing it he's doing morning he's doing like morning tv like press or whatever and he pulled it and he sang it he goes deez nuts it's you i'll send it to you guys yeah it's the besties nuts i've ever seen mr weinbach uh patty melt a patty melt when you know who does a good patty metals castles here in los angeles never yeah castles castles does a good burger castles in k-town dude you gotta go yeah a patty melt where you like you you take a bite and then you realize that i guess i just won't use a napkin until i'm absolutely done yep there's no point in wiping my hands off in between each bite right that cheese that it's got that cheese on the side that's like kind of hard it's been fried like the cheese is like fried in its own juices like on the

sides but it's melty on the inside but it's crunchy on the outside like that because the thing is i want the integrity of the bread that's yes you know nothing wrong with the other main beef based sandwich sure i need i like that i like that crunchy bread what all pardon my ignorance here what's all on a patty melt well swishy it's traditionally swiss and grilled onions right is what makes it and then a patty and then bread. But also, you know what I mean? Like, you know, paint with all the colors of the wind. Yeah, just do what you want. But like traditionally, it's going to be like a patty and some cheese.

I would get no onions, but that's... It's usually a pressed patty, I feel like. Yeah, like a Smash Burger situation. You can find yourself with a Thousand Island a thousand island sometimes on there you can you know there's a lot of different stuff that it's a lot of sourdough usually shows up sourdough yeah yeah it's a girl man i'm gonna have one this week i haven't had one in god knows i mean it's it's my it's really it's really a diner go-to for me patricia meltowitz your first entree your first pick sean jordan

uh my first pick i'm also gonna go with an entree this is if i'm feeling like i don't need to do much after the diner like you like should, then I get this. It's very heavy, but I really don't pass it up. It's chicken fried steak. Fuck! Fuck! You're getting picked apart. Come on! I've never seen you eat a chicken fried steak.

I've never seen it either. We went to Scavone's, and David, you watched me eat a chicken fried steak. I've never seen it. Two weeks before went to Scavone's, and David, you watched me eat a chicken fried steak. I've never seen it. Two weeks before we went pandemic, you were here, David. You watched me eat a chicken fried steak at Scavone's. Don't you deny it. You think I remember two weeks before pandemic?

You don't remember going to Scavone's with me? It's called Scavone's. That was six years ago. Oh, the breakfast in Portland. And then we hung out with ballers that night. Yes. I'm supposed to officiate your wedding now? His name is Casson Teagues.

I'm supposed to stand there and join you in a holy matrimony after you do this to me? Yeah, Laura and I are going to slap each other. You just saw me lose patty melt. But I am thinking about it. He's right. I did see him eat a big ass. I love it. It was a big ass.

We got mimosas too. They don't make small ones. Well, that's weird. That's weird getting a mimosa with a chicken fried steak. You're eating on both sides of the aisle, dude. Wow. Ian, was that your one-one? No, I did because I didn't have to perform that night. Yeah, we did.

That was my one-one. Yeah. Mine was, well, whatever. It wasn't patty melt, but it was. I might have to go on a walk. Wait, you switched off your one-1 to take Ian's? No, David. I can't. Without going

too into detail, David's was too close to my 1-1 to where it would have looked weird. You don't want to double tap the same area that close in the draft. I get you. Chicken fried steak was... There were three that

were right at the top where i was like any one of these and uh i did picture this is gonna sound wild one of the best chicken fried steaks i've ever had the diner inside the old hard rock casino in vegas which is now a virgin hotel they had a 24 hour diner they're called lucky's great diner and their chicken fried steak, me and multiple people have said it was one of the best ones they ever had. Surprising. Is it still there?

Or is it gone now? No, gone. Gone. Yeah. I know we've talked about it on this before because I didn't know what a chicken fried steak was really. And I still don't necessarily 100% know it's chicken. Why are you drunk?

Why is it called steak? It's not chicken! It's steak. It's not chicken! Come on, let's sound it out. You don't fucking know. I can feel it in my mouth right now. I can feel it in my fucking molars.

I can feel it dancing across my tongue. And you think it's chicken. If you're, well, if I'm willing to give you a bite, then yeah, you'll feel it in your mouth. That's fine. But it's definitely right in front of me. I ordered it. It's a steak.

Yeah. Chicken fried. How do they do that? They take a steak and they chicken fry it. It's not complicated. And they fry it. This is a weird thing to have a conversation about. It's bread and then pan

fried all right yeah they just you you dip it and then you dip it in flour then you put it in oil it's just fried there we go i didn't need all the extra stuff you could have just done that it's not deep fried it's pan fried yeah it's not deep fried yeah see how easy this is to answer now i know what i'm eating so that's great you never knew no i don't need to know it's dank though i know that i like it sean i'm gonna say this with love you're a goddamn wild card oh you're you ain't till that last pick now that i've now that i've upset everybody the last pick is just gonna be insane okay that's wild card last episode of afv That's wild card.

Last episode of AMV. I know my heart skips a beat when you say that shit. Because of chicken fried steak, we went out just like all the great empires. Well, what didn't happen? Over expansion. Oh, man. Yeah. All right.

I mean. I'll type it here. What are you going to do? Are you off of Entree now? I don't know. I'm at sea. I'm at sea. I don't know what I'm going to do now.

I'm fucked. I can't see the shore. And my compass is broke. Did you know I was gearing up for that? When you said it's a little too big, I had one of two things in mind. Yeah, I did too. I was afraid it was mine. I'm still afraid you're going to take mine. I'm not going to order my own dick.

So yeah, it had to be this. There we go. Chicken fried steak. Can I get the popsicle stick on the side though? I got an eight month old daughter and I just said that. That's okay. Don't change. They need to change. Not you. They're the

one growing. You stay the same. Yeah, I love that. All right, Daniel Van Kirk. It's time for your first pick. Okay, I think I kind of don't want to go on

right here because I think I would at least be able to get in the second round, but I've been scared in these first two picks for me. If I'm at a diner and I'm there with Rosemary Van Kirk and I want to draft, that's my grandma and I want to draft. I just want to, this is the offensive lineman of diners to me. When you, when you roll in and you pick this i'll tell you right now we're not going breakfast so even if that's where you're at you're going to be safe you roll in if you're hungover if you're not going to eat for a while if you're on a road trip

if you're lonely if you miss your family if you miss a good meal, I just think you cannot go wrong. And as I probably ordered this outside of breakfast more than any other thing, especially when I want to feel good, I'm going hot, open face turkey sandwich. Oh, that is my diner. You give me that white bread. You give me the mashed potatoes and the brown gravy with some turkey just right on top. There might be a little side of fruit. There might be a little bit of green beans with it as well. And you're just forking knife in that. And you're just talking to somebody about things you wish you had done different any time of day or night. I just love I love an open face turkey sandwich.

That's a very good pick. Yeah, it just that's a diner man and you know you know the plate the plate has the little brown line swirls designs on the edges of it when they put it down and the person who hands it to you they give you a smile because they know you needed this you could have gone so many other things we don't need to say maybe we will throughout the course of this but you know you you were like you know what give me a i need a food hug and i'm going open face turkey sandwich you're not trying to work it feels maternal yes yeah it is there's not a lot of technique to it which means it has to be good it has to be good for it to be any good exactly it all has to be there and some reason the turkey is always somewhere in between deli and carved it's not a full yeah exactly but it's not we're not talking slices we're not we're not running a machine back there no i feel like

the gravy it tastes like a sandwich you make with leftover turkey yeah the whole time no i'm just joking yeah you're right the gravy the gravy the gravy is the gravy is crucial and then sometimes you'll be like you know let me get a piece of this bread with the turkey right and then you're like i'll have a bite of mashed potatoes and then by the end you're like can we get i want a whole bite i want i want a little bread i want a little mashed potato i want a turkey and some of that grave all at once oh it also changes the longer it's on your plate because it starts that bread starts to get like so good that meat cooks in the gravy a little bit more it's just because i'm gonna use the word melange here and i'm sorry if that intimidates anyone but it does become a melange and then you sometimes

end up with like a corner of the bread has made its way away from everything else and you're like i'm gonna grab that bread just kind of wipe that around a little bit oh yeah you got to wipe it clean oh yeah it's just i and i have a tough time doing that last part now the older i've gotten for some reason now it grosses me out when i do that even though i want to do it really i don't know why yeah i don't i can't explain it it's like a weird thing i've developed where i feel i don't know why yeah i don't i can't explain it it's like a weird thing i've developed where i feel i don't know i'm dipping stuff i do and when the bread gets too soggy there's this thing that has it's like uh it just feels gross to me and i it looks and i just but i want to do that oh you mean when the bread gets soaked through i think dan's talking daniel's

talking about when the bread stays oh like a dry piece dry piece. Yeah, there's a dry piece that kind of hung off, made its way to the edge, and you're like, I'm going to do a little mopping. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to clean the floor a little bit here. Old girl, she's a dry piece. No need to call the janitor. I got it.

You mean a dry piece. Okay. That's a great pick. It's time for my first pick. I... I know where you're going. I don't know. I feel like there's one... I feel like there's a blockbuster. It's time for my first pick. I know where you're going. I don't know. I feel like there's a blockbuster still on the board.

I'm pretty sure I know where you're going. Oh, there's a lot. There's a lot of blockbusters. I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm steering away from entrees. I'm steering away from desserts. I'm steering away from miscellaneous, and I'm going straight to aesthetic. I'm going straight to something.

Oh, please don't take my aesthetic. Please don't take my aesthetic. Please don't take my aesthetic. There's two one ones for me for the aesthetic and then everything else is after that. I got to go to my one one, which is my waitress. I didn't say server. Shit. And I said that on purpose. My waitress has to be old.

I used all these words. Has to be a little bit surly damn it i said that word last night she needs to be a little bit mad i'm there and then progressively throughout the whatever whenever i'm there morning evening whatever loves you warms it up loves me by the end loves me by the end you you walk in and she goes how many and you go and you go 17 really no there's only two of us okay that's the jokester and then and then right and then she gives you the old you're sitting over there right doesn't it tells you right but by the end she goes now you promised me you're gonna come back here right like it's like by the end you better come back here you know her first name you know about her no good kid you know a lot you know a lot her feet hurt oh so bad man

like i thought i was gonna get that in the fourth and now i'm like yeah okay what joe flacco's gonna get trapped like what am i talking about why was joe flacco i don't know joe flacco was gonna get in the fourth that was really bizarre no he was a first round pick though wasn't he no i don't think so with your crew and there's that one person who you're like they're probably gonna be a little too much for the rest of the diner and this waitress will go ahead and tell them to fuck off before any of you do they'll just be like hey what's with this one and that's like tell them to shut the fuck up or she just won't shine the lamp on them you know what i mean yeah just like won't pay attention like their child she warms up to everybody else that guy she's walking away everybody's got a full cup of something and uh yeah

except for this guy that's a great pick except for this guy so i need it so i need that and and and this and like this runs the gamut of old lady. Maybe I'm at Cantor's. And it's an old Jewish lady who's mad I'm there. Maybe I'm in the Midwest. And it's an old Iowan woman, an old Protestant who's mad I'm there. That was near the top of my list, sir. That was near the top of my list. I thought I was a genius when I thought of that last night, too. Yeah, me too.

I thought I was going to get away with it. I really thought I was like, ooh, I'm going to hit him with the hammer. Yeah, you're in the fucking kitchen, my friend. You're in the kitchen. See, now'm going to hit him with the hammer. Yeah, you're in the fucking kitchen, my friend. You're in the kitchen. See, now you get to double dip. I know. I love double dip. God damn it.

That was, it's good though. It's like the best, it's the best way to do it. Where is he going next? There's things that I want in this draft that I can't pick. That I'm like, I can't. I'm not allotted as many of those as I want. Yeah. Right.

Right, right, right, right, right. It's tricky here because I do. Well, now what's she bringing you? I'm excited. It's a tricky situation. I think I might go dessert. I think I might go dessert here. Just because I feel like entree-wise, for me, my two big hitters are off the board.

All right? My two things that I really wanted. So entree-wise, there's a lot of places I could go. There's a lot of room, though. There's a lot of places I could go. There's a lot of room. But there's a lot of there's a lot of places there's a lot of room though there's a lot of places i can go but there's one dessert i wanted a diner and you can call it a dessert you can call it a beverage whatever you want to call it i need a vanilla milkshake yeah with the whipped cream on top yeah with the metal cup next to it i wrote it yeah i could show you i wrote in the metal tin cup in the metal tin cup it needs to be there sitting right next to it i wrote it yeah i could show you i wrote in the metal tin cup in the metal tin cup

it needs to be there sitting right next to it maybe there's even some jimmies on there maybe you know what i mean i don't know what some condoms on this jimmy not some jimmy hat some jimmies so i don't i you know like i don't want to talk i'm not i want you first let me sing the praises of the vanilla milkshake right Of all the milkshake flavors, strawberry's good. Halfway through a strawberry milkshake, I've heard enough. I've heard enough. Chocolate is good, but I feel like chocolate, there are better ways for me to get chocolate. If I want a chocolate sensation, there's better ways.

All right, ladies. There's better ways for me to get it. A vanilla milkshake done right it's perfect perfect and it's the perfect way to consume the vanilla flavor there's not a better way to get it than a vanilla milkshake with a little bit of whipped cream on top i fucking love it so when it's we thought this was dinner laura was like well for the aesthetic i would pick would be the whipped cream on a milkshake that was her like aesthetic for a dinner that she would want oh i like that but yeah that's it's uh it's a good pick if it makes you feel any better those were

probably my next two picks i wish i would have told you it was dinner the whole time i wish i wouldn't have corrected you because i definitely would have gotten chicken fried steak yeah you would have i don't i don't need a lot of those for dinner sean's very first pick he's like you know what i'm gonna go with it's when you got two things in the oven that's my number one and you're wondering did i paste this out right dinner would have been i would have been on my own island for dinner no but i wouldn't have had anything to worry about uh but i'm going yeah the vanilla the vanilla milky shake great call great classic simple it plays it plays in your uh your like you know off the highway diners it plays in it plays in your chrome covered diners yes i also think this is a home game for the

vanilla milkshake i feel like many other desserts not all many, there are other places I would rather get them. There's a possibility it could go terribly wrong. Yeah, but there's nowhere else I would rather have a milkshake than at a diner. That's great. And those are my first two picks. Daniel, time for your second pick. I've got I've got some aesthetics and I've got some miscellaneous that I think would just shoot out of this draft I mean people will be talking for hours about it but I kind of want to close out my entree because I have an opportunity here I think I have a I wouldn't call an open

face turkey a one one across the board for every person I think I sold it right I wouldn't call an open-faced turkey a one-one across the board for every person. I think I sold it right. I think that it is definitely a top three order in terms of that time of food, late night, lunch, whatever. But I think what I'm going to go is entree again. I'm going to be done with those unless I go miscellaneous for a third. So this type of food, it's breakfast. And when done right, people will go to diners for just this reason. They will tell other people about it. They will make them.

You're like, no, no, no, no, no. I don't care. You're coming here because they do it all right. That's why I got to go. Entree. I've got my dinner lunch. I'm taking my breakfast. Biscuits and gravy.

Fuck you. Okay. Biscuits and gravy. Fuck you. Biscuits and gravy. It was going to go soon. Yeah. I don't think it's coming. I didn't think it was going to make it back to me. Once chicken fried steak went, there had to be a couple picks before biscuits and gravy. Sure.

I feel like. Yeah. Biscuits and gravy. When you want to play. I almost opened with it. Right. I just. They're not they they it's always safe too i've found that it's i've never been like fuck those biscuits and gravy

i've been at i've been at one of those super rights for the continental breakfast and they got the biscuits and the gravy and the and even that's good yeah i like it yeah it's like yeah sure oh yeah when you get though a place that hits those biscuits perfectly, you don't have to fight the fork with it. It just comes through. And then that gravy's got a little, some thickness to it. It's not too heavy, but it's not, I don't want runny. I have run into runny before.

I was like, what are we doing here? And then give me sausage in the gravy and a good amount of pepper, too. I want it to bite just a little bit when I go into it. Oh, good biscuits and gravy. And it'll take care of whatever. Are you heartbroken or are you hungover? Whatever it is, biscuits and gravy. I put hot sauce on it for days.

It's like it's red by the time it's done. Sure, sure, sure. And I don't want to say any of it any but there's so many other items that if you get one of those on the side or it comes with it as well and you can pair some bites in with that stuff i mean what come on also there's so many places where they go they go you order your main thing which maybe we'll we'll hit some more of those and then they go uh do you want uh toaster side of biscuits and gravy when they're throwing biscuits and gravies, you're on a little plate and you're like, give me the fucking biscuits and gravy.

So that's my second pick. Yeah, I'm here. I'm here. Yeah, that's fucking rock solid. That really, yeah. Are we eating all these at the same time? I don't want to hear it from you. I know you don't, but you're going to have to.

Are you guys eating all these at once? Is this like we're getting this in a sitting? Not necessarily. You don't want to hear it from you. I know you don't, but you're going to have to. Are you guys eating all these at once? Is this like we're getting this in a sitting? Not necessarily. You don't necessarily need the both entrees at once. Okay. But I think we are crafting a feel here. Yeah, I just don't want it to be too heavy for me. Well, I mean, how heavy am I?

If I'm ordering these two, I better get a free shirt when I'm done eating. Yo, if you came in and you ordered a open face sandwich and biscuits and gravy you own the diner now ian's waitress would look at me she would look at me and go you okay hon exactly she's not coming back is she right you want me to box one of those for you i'll call the ambulance now so it'll be here about the time you're done with those sure sean jordan time for your second pick uh second pick you used to this is this is what was going to be my first but it's just too close to david but

we've had a little breathing room now and biscuits and gravy is off it's my second entree and is it it is a monte cristo sandwich oh yeah i'm done right my faith's so close to a patty melt i kind of feel like a coward even doing it now but it's like no you got sugar you got sugar in there you got a whole bunch of things at play yeah that's why that's why i clarified on a patty melt because i wasn't sure if it was like a but i should have known it was patty but anyway i I got to know if I'm ordering that Monte Cristo. Well, you know what I'm talking about. I have to have seen one. That's a great Monte Cristo.

I have to have been told or I have to have seen one because I have had... Bennegan's. Bennegan's used to have a good Monte Cristo. I was just going to say, Bennegan's did have a good Monte Cristo. Perkins is the Monte Cristo I'm talking about. They called it the Monte Combo, and it was a Monte Cristo with another thing. And I got it from when I was a kid and I wouldn't dip it in jelly. I would dip it in apricot syrup because they had that at Perkins and I just fell in love. So obviously we know

what a Monte Cristo is, but it was like French toast, the powdered sugar on top, ham, Swiss, and turkey, and then dip it. I would use the whole, you guys know me, I'd use the whole thing of syrup, whole like jar or whatever they would like every single time i'd make it a point to use the whole thing and i man it's making me want to go to sleep just thinking about it but it is so oh when i'm on the road or just have friends and and i'm like you know i'll get the blank and blank right i'll have a little bit of fun right i'll have a little bit of recess with my school work right but the person across from me goes i'll do the monte cristo i just look i'm like you don't give a fuck you know

chaos chaos it is the one at city state is like you got to take a shower afterwards it's a game it's a day ender for sure sandwich exists out of time and space it's not it's not a breakfast a lunch or a dinner it's just a monte cristo it's just out there dude it's fucking out there and you got to leave it all on the table you can't box up a monte cristo like it has to happen right there it's also one of those things i tell people this when they're like oh people move to la they you know they get a little healthier they lose weight not even to get skinny they just lose i go you don't understand there's things in la that just are never on the menu and And Monte Cristo is something you just never see. You just don't see.

Nobody's. I'm sure. Obviously, it's LA. We can find one. But in general life, you're just too hot. You're just not serving a Monte Cristo. It's too hot. It's too close to the ocean.

What are you going to do? You're going to eat a Monte Cristo on the beach. You monster. Like, it's just not. No. It's just regionally. It's eat a Monte Cristo on the beach, you monster? It's just not... No. It's just regionally. If you're eating a Monte Cristo on the beach, call your kids. Call your kids.

She's really not coming back. You can try to call them, but you ain't going to get to talk to them. No. Nobody going to let you. You can't talk to your kids. If you're eating a Monte Cristo on the beach, David, you're not coming back. Yeah. No, there is no coming back.

I'm probably wearing socks in the sand you're about to feel wet forever that would be nuts that would be i couldn't handle it if i saw that i'd i'd leave the beach yeah amani cristo the worst sandwich i ever had was amani cristo and it was really it could go bad it's on me it's on me it was at a con it was at the liquid laughs in Boise that's the comedy club there it was at their restaurant and it was like I was at my I was among my fattest and I was among my drunkest and I didn't and I ate half of it

it was like that they like deep fried the whole thing it was awful it was awful it went anyone out there who's like, that actually sounds kind of... It wasn't.

If I was, your faithful reporter would have told you. I would have happily told you. Yeah, you're not out here lying about it. No. It would be a good memory. Of course. Yeah, I would love that. I would love to have eaten a deep fried Monte Cristo

and had it fucking slap. It did not. Monte Cristo. Did not slap. But when done right, man, that's a fucking great heavy heavy barry derrison one of those uh david boy time for your second and third picks pick number two i think i gotta take a dessert i'm surprised that it's still here. I'm taking apple pie a la mode. Okay.

Yeah. I wondered about this. When I was making my desserts, I was like, can you throw the a la mode? I feel like we can, right? That's what I'm wondering. Or is that a miscellaneous? I feel like it's not. How's that not a dessert? I think it is.

That's with ice cream? Am I an asshole? It's definitely a dessert. It's just like an add-on. So you're getting a side of another thing but to be fair in my own dish i did say that there were some sides that came with it i just wondered this when we when i sat down to make my dessert list i was like do i get to go a la mode i mean if you're not going out of mode you're a psycho i don't know my whole fucking dish is a la mode yeah i didn't say there was gonna be ice cream on my chicken fried steak i meant to say that

i uh but no i just i love it i think i love going you ever go to a diner and just have pie and then like yeah i mean you i've never done that we we need to know each other better because the answer is yeah. Oh, man. That is, I love it. I love it. Just like, yeah, just have, you're not hungry. We've got a house of. Oh, yeah.

Oh, not even here. The one in Houston. Guys, I'll get done with shows. I go to Houston to work out new material a lot. And that's one of my things is they'll be like, what do you want to do after this? I'm like, I'm going to house of pies. I'm just going to have a piece of pie. Having a piece of pie in a diner after a great set is just fucking. It's so much fun.

Speaking of 90s movies, in true romance, when they go out for a piece of pie after they see those movies, I'm like, that seems ideal to me. Ideal. It's amazing. It's amazing. And the angry waitress is so relieved. All right, what do you guys think? You know what? We just want a piece of pie. Yeah. Yeah. Because It's amazing. It's amazing. And the angry waitress is so relieved. All right, what do you guys think? You know what? We just want a piece of pie.

Yeah, yeah, because you come in, you're a big fella. She's like, oh, no. I'm not going to turn this table for an hour. Don't worry. Don't worry.

I just need you to open the glass, mama. I'll do the rest. When you walk in and you see them there. Yeah, yeah. A la mode, huh? A la mode.

Apple pie a la mode. Solid pick. A la mode specifically. It's hot mode. Apple pie a la mode. Solid pick. A la mode specifically. It's hot. It's got all the textures that I like. It's cool. Cinnamon-y. Okay.

So apple pie a la mode. We need two aesthetic or one aesthetic? One aesthetic, one miscellaneous. One aesthetic and one miscellaneous. So you can have two aesthetic if you want. Yeah. You can have three entrees. You can have two desserts.

Entree Raj, dude dude i love the thought i love it because you know you mean it you know you're not about to just draft the smell of weed thank you i don't you do this. I see now. I feel bad. I'm going for an aesthetic. I think that this is. Mostly in New York and L.A., but I've seen it other places around the country. Okay. I am going. No idea what you're going to say. say signed photos of famous people on the walls i had it on my list yeah i love it i'm thinking of like when i think of it i think of like specifically like noho diner have you guys ever been in north hollywood diner yeah like that's

like the quintessential red Booth pictures everywhere. To NoHo Diner. I love the French fries. David, I wrote headshots of local newscasters. Oh, that's good. That's everywhere. Can I tell you, I did a gig in Humboldt one time.

They asked me to sign a photo. Yes. What an honor. They had been at the show, but I didn't have any headshots because it's not 1974. I didn't have them in my briefcase. I might have gone to Kinko's and come back. I would have, too. That would make me feel so honored if a place was like, can we put you up at a dry cleaner? Any place, but especially a diner.

I would get them. I still have my headshots. I'd be like, yes, I'll mail you one. It was pretty cool. It was, yeah, me and Ngaio Biel. Oh, yeah. Love Ngaio. Shout out to Ngaio.

Love Ngaio. Because it's dinner and a show when you get the signed photos of the famous people. It's fun. Sly Stallone ate these blanks. You know what's a good plate? Who's got the slippery shrimp in Chinatown? Chinese Jamal, dude. Yeah. a good plate what's the uh who's got the slippery shrimp in chinatown chinatown oh chinese jamal dude yeah he's full of slippery shrimp who's got the slippery shrimp in chinatown what a fucking ridiculous thing to say that that was so i. I love it. I love that I know what you're talking about.

Yang Chao. Marissa's got a Yang Chao. Did we get a Yang Chao together? We all went together, right? I think we did. Marissa knew. Who's got the slippery shrimp in Chinatown? I do, so don't

talk to me like that. That sounds like I am Queens Boulevard. It's covered in headshotsshots and it's so fun because it's yeah i love it i love it because you're like in in la new york it's like it is you'll see some schmuck you'll see some schmuck on the wall and you'll also see president clinton oftentimes yeah yeah yeah yeah but like in kansas city it'll be like whoa weird i didn't know martin grammatica ate here once oh willie rofe yeah he really rofe ate there yeah dude any money here really any money willie rofe and like and then a local newscaster named like always and then like a kid from an Ovaltine commercial.

Yeah. Bob Dale. Bob Dale with sports. Yeah. Yeah, Bob Dale with sports or like Hammer Tornado, the weatherman did. Yeah, I want to find out the Dallas Rains ate there. I'll be like, sure, give me whatever Dallas gets. That guy's young and he's 80.

That guy gets a facelift wherever he goes. Dallas Rains is that dude, right? He's like the LA weatherman that's like this. And he always does this at the end of all of his coming up at 11. He has a fist. He has a self-generating fist flare. I found it. Like a little conductor ending a fucking.

Yeah, like a not my tempo. J.K. Simmons. Yeah, man. He is windblown is how I like to spell it. J.K. Simmons. Yeah. Man, he is windblown is how I would describe him. Dallas Names, dude. Yeah, he is. He's been on the slopes. He lives on Catalina.

He has to. I don't know. He has to. He has to. He's not allowed anywhere else. Sean, that's a great pick, David. Sean, time for your third pick. This is tough, man.

I don't have... I'm caught out here without a dessert right now so i'm gonna go aesthetic and i've never actually i don't think had gotten to experience this but i want to i i can't remember a time maybe i have what are we gonna say i'm just waiting everybody's waiting for you i want a little jukebox on the table. Ooh. I think that is a horrible pick. That's more of a miscellaneous.

Is that a miscellaneous or is that an aesthetic? I think that's an aesthetic. They're giving you your own thing. I think it's a bad pick. You made that clear. I was aware with the reaction. Why not? What's so bad about it?

To me, that's like some sort of Disney thing. I've seen it before. I don't hate you for loving it. I'm not saying you're a wild person. Please don't hate me. He also has never used it. So this is pure conjecture. Oh, that's true.

That's another reason it's a bad pic. So what you're saying is pure conjecture. You just like the idea of being at one where that happens? Kind of. Yeah, they could be fun. But I can't say 100% that I've never done that. I'm not sure. The diner in Sioux Falls might have music at their tables.

Here's my question. Does every table have different music then? That is what happens. Is that that what happens it's a little tinny isn't it yeah well yeah they all but does each table have like if we all wanted to hear uh turn the page could we all play it on our separate jukeboxes i think wait you're talking about jukebox per person i don't think it goes at the table it's at the booth yeah it's at the table we're talking about one per booth per booth yeah there's like a little tiny jukebox that you can play like for your table i just think the idea is fun uh yeah i it is fun yeah that's but it's you know i don't

think it goes to a central i don't think the whole restaurant then here's no turn the page because i would be worried about the cacophony i was at a dairy queen one time that had a jukebox at it, which I'd never seen before. And then somebody played Once Bitten, Twice Shy. It was just a weird thing to hear to Dairy Queen in the middle of the day because that's all about groupies. Just a ridiculous song to hear at the Dairy Queen.

Sure. It was funny. But anyway, yeah, just a little jukebox at each booth. A little jukebox. That counts for us. It is cute. And whether you've done it or not, I got no hate for you romancing something. Well, hate's a strong word.

I don't know. You know what? You can do anything you want. I mean, are we doing a strong draft? What are you doing here? We're just making friends? My first pick ruffled some feathers, I'll tell you that. For the right reasons.

Yeah, you came in hot. Don't feel bad about that don't apologize for competing uh can i go yeah you can go i'm gonna go aesthetic and i i can't say i've done it every time but if it's the option and it also gets me where I want to be fast, I will take it. My aesthetic is when you sit at the bar across from the order window and you're just watching food come up. I need more eggs. I need more eggs. On my list. Hey, I forgot. Yeah. Hey, I forgot blank and I need two more blanks. I need two blanks. Come on. You already told you and you're watching some relationships be made.

You're watching other relationships fall apart. You know, then they come over and I hope this doesn't, well, I don't want to say. They come over. They get maybe a big scoop of something that people like to put on other things. And it's way more than you would ever need. And then there's like a 14-year-old kid whose uncle owns the place. And they're like, all I need you to do is fill the syrups. Can you fill the fucking syrups, Derek?

Can you fill them? And Derek's over there just doing his best. He wants to quit so bad. You see him pocketing cereal that he's fucking eating. Marry the ketchups. Yeah. Yes. You see how everything, there's a specifically.

It's the brain. It's the neural net. Yeah. Sparks Diner. That's a place that my It's the neural net. Yeah. Sparks Diner. When you that's a place that my family goes a lot to in Wisconsin. And you sit there and man, you might as well work there. Same thing. It's like you're at a Waffle House to like you want to know. Oh, yeah. You want to know who's getting arrested today at the Waffle House? Sit at the bar. Like everything is right there and you get to see it happen. Like, the kitchen is half in the open.

Yes. You just get to see all those normally behind closed doors interactions. Yes. I mean, I've been to one. One time I was driving down to San Diego. I stopped at a diner. I think it was called Tommy's on the way down there. And, man, there was three girls working there.

I think two people didn't show up, and they were holding on for dear life trying to keep that together that morning. But other times, too, you see when it's just when it's popping, right? And there's 16 tickets and they got everything going exactly what they need and they're grabbing this and they're grabbing that. I got you. Hey, I already grabbed table two for you. Thank you so much. I saw table six. They need more Diet Coke, whatever it is.

And you watch that and you go like, this is when we're at our best as a country. Yes. We're all working together and everybody's just having a good meal. So I love my aesthetic sitting at the bar

right across from the order window. Great pick. I love it. Thank you. I fucking love it. Time for my third and fourth picks. As it is a serpentine draft. It is. This is my miscellaneous i'm getting it though take it i know just so you're all aware i'm getting this and david you

it may not bother you as much but this is mine now coffee oh yeah it's great. It's a staple. Good for you. Argument, Ian, could be a 1-1. If you're talking perfect diner coffee in a mug with a nice handle, maybe there's an advertisement for a local insurance company right on the mug. Coffee and pie. Somehow you can have seven of them, and it's like you had one of them because it's so watered down or there's just something about it. I love a fucking diner coffee.

And also, I said this on this podcast, I want to say three, four years ago, and now I've seen it bubbling up in society to the point where somebody even created a, I'm not taking credit for it, I think this is a simultaneous creation, hot sauce and coffee. The combination of having eaten something with hot sauce and then drinking coffee what it's beautiful it's

a beautiful mouthfeel there's like there's like a hot sauce for that that somebody dm me it's called like coffee sauce or some shit i need that to take a hike i don't want it i like you don't want it branded no i'm having 60 home runs i want that to be natural you know what i mean i'm gonna it's not that they know i I know I was juicing. Like, I don't want, like, but yeah, a fucking coffee at a diner. We've never done this, but if you want, I'll trade you the jukebox at the table for the coffee. We can trade picks. What were you talking about?

Why would you do that? Did you think that was going to go? No, I didn't think it was going to go. This motherfucker just drafted a starting quarterback in the third round. You think about it. Everything starts. It's your pitcher. It's your quarterback.

We start here. The other great thing about it, too, and I couldn't pick it. I thought about it. I can't do it because I'm not a coffee drinker. So I'm not going to roll in here and pick a staple that I don't back up. And pick a staple that I don't back up. But I will say what I love about it is coffee will go with every single person in that diner, right?

You get the people who are like, hey, we haven't talked in like six months. And I know things weren't good for you and they weren't good for me. But would you mind just going getting a cup of coffee? And then you got that couple there. Then you got the guy. He's all by himself, right? And he's having a cup of coffee and you got that couple there then you got the guy he's all by himself right and he's he's having a cup of coffee then you got the girl working on her college dissertation and she's there she's like they by gladys finally just set the pot down next to her yes i love it i will say that is the good thing about diner coffee too you can drink like 12 of those you can drink 12 of them you can come in drunk at two in the morning or you can be up at six right before you head out on the lake and like either way yeah it's a coffee and

every point in between you're drinking a coffee i love it little bowl i love one little bowl with all the uh the way the creamers just sort of naturally fit together like that a little ramekin of various sugars. Sugar in the raw. Ramekin. Ramekin. Yeah. Hot coffee. Hot coffee. Hot coffee. Now I find myself. That's good.

This is one of the more tense ones we've had in a while. This is. Yeah. This is good. I love it. I'm tight right now. I am too. I'm very tight. I don't have a dessert i

milkshake was the only option for me i don't know why it's a stupid way to go in i normally i never do that but i just came in with one dessert not really but it's like that i don't know i don't know why i was like i'll get. Like no one's ever had a milkshake besides me. Well, to be fair, you were like, it's dinner. Who else is going to pick a milkshake at dinner? Yeah. You know, you were coming up from a whole different deal. You were thinking like, I'm making milkshakes in my house.

Nobody's going to draft that. I'm coming in here now with a, if this place does this. Yeah. If this place does this, this can take the lowest culture end of dinerdom and the highest culture, there's elevated versions of this. If a place does it, they're usually not fucking

around. I'm taking a corned beef hash. Ooh, yeah. I'm taking a corned beef hash. If I have my druthers it's got a poached it's a poached egg on top yeah you gotta let that yolk run yeah because it's got to get the egg mixed in kind of thing yeah i love it i love a corned beef hash chopped up potatoes the fucking corned beef it's salty it's perfect all that hit it with the hot sauce having a sip of coffee it's it's ideal me. I love a fucking corned beef hat.

That's a great pick. That is a great pick. It's another Don Wright, everybody's jealous of you at the table. Right? Yeah, that is definitely like, I should have got the corned beef hat. I don't think I've ever had corned beef.

You should pick it then. Am I crazy? Sean, you should pick it then. Am I crazy? Have I? Sean, you should draft it then. That's a 1-1 for you, baby. I don't think I've ever had it and not known it. Is it like on stuff that I maybe wouldn't have known? It's pretty common. Yeah, it's salty.

I feel like you would know, though, if you had it. Sure, I'd like it. I was just looking it up, a corned beef hash. It looks amazing. It's a little bit of a, it's the best of a lot of different situations. It's great. You get a great potato in there, the corned beef, and then whatever else you like. You get a little garlicky, a little oniony, sauteed onion feel. It's great.

It's just a really delicious, savory mouth. It's like you said too and i think when you were talking about you know it being like really good i think it's also one of those staple items that diners have existed built around how good their corn beef is right yes so it's one of those that's like i was saying about biscuits and gravy there are places like hey we got the best biscuits and gravy in the state, so let's open a diet. We'll do everything else too, but it's a build-around item. It's on the menu.

That's your left tackle right there. But it's a corned beef spot. You go there for corned beef. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's a great-ass pick. That's my fourth pick. Daniel, time for your fourth pick.

Guys, I'm going to end up not getting to pick something that means so much to me that I don't even think anyone else will draft. So I'm almost in a position where whatever I land on, I hope someone takes the other thing because i want it to be on the board you know there's a lot of teams that hope tom brady got picked they just wasn't going to be them okay yeah fuck man and there's one too like i love it it's a home run when you guys put it out people will be like that fucking won that guy that draft but does it mean as much

to me does this miscellaneous menu item mean as much to me as this other aesthetic i don't man this hurts the aesthetic can say a lot it says a lot is it miscellaneous menu item or miscellaneous miscellaneous anything i'm just saying for me okay my my miscellaneous might go with it, it is going to be a menu item. For me, it was coffee. Oh, that's right. Okay. All right. All right.

Gotcha. You know what? I think just because it lives in my heart so much. It's one of the things of being a little kid going to the Hub City Diner. heart so much it's one of the things being a little kid going to the hub city diner and they had they they had this there it was one of the earliest times i realized like anything is possible you can have whatever you want live your life it kind of got brought up a little bit i'm i and i deliberately steered the conversation away from it it's the rotating pie case yeah the rotating pie case when you're a little kid and you they don't have your table

ready yet and you your parents let you get five ten feet away from them and i'm just standing there looking at all these pies this fucking endless opportunity of fun just spinning around in front of me i mean guys i walked into once i could find it years ago i was in a diner and i just took a video of it going around and and i just captioned it hey girl because it yeah it's it's what do you want what's gonna make you happy and and and i'll go i'll go heady i'll go heady i'm i'm looking at three friends of mine who have the same thing as i do or at some point they said in their life what do you want to do what is gonna make you happy what are you willing to go for and you look at that pie case with all those opportunities spinning around being like you

can have this you can have that you just gotta choose those opportunities spinning around being like, you can have this. You can have that. You just got to choose. It's all right here for you. You just got to make that choice. That rotating pie case, I'm going to stop before I get emotional. And it also, there's confidence there. They're not hiding those desserts behind anything. They're going, you know what?

We're going to put this out in the morning, and they're all going to be gone by the end of the day, and you're going to pick what you want. And even if you're not, it'll last till tomorrow. It's refrigerated. Don't worry. But we stand by this. I just love it. I know I'm in the right place if I walk in and see a slow rotating pie case. Also,

if it's been picked over a little bit, if there's a couple pieces missing, you're like, ooh, that must be that. Yeah, people are going for it. Ooh, that Dutch apple's a hot product? Let me slide in there then. Yeah. I remember I watched a waitress come up, open the little door. The thing comes to a stop.

She reaches in. She gets that out. And I was like, I'm not going to. It's a good feeling. Yeah. It's a good feeling. So I'm like, she's about to make somebody's day. Somebody walked in.

They looked at the showroom. They picked their car. Yeah. Yeah. So there's another one. I don't know if we get to do any honorable mentions. I hope somebody else takes it all. We do.

I'll say it at the end. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That might have been the most beautiful three minutes of this podcast in 276 episodes. I'm over here like, well, we're not kidding anymore. No. I don't think we ever were. Ever since you took chicken fried steak, this shit was off to a very serious start.

Picture, guys, picture six-year-old yous outside of it and you're standing there with the glow just hitting you and it's taller than you

so it looks like it goes on forever. Everything you're just seeing is dessert and then now we're at a player's life and you go and you go,

whatever you want. You grab whatever you want and you're a kid and someone says that to you, good night. We should know the name. We've talked about this before on The pocket but we should know the name of the person who invented that it's wrong that we don't and there should be a school yeah called that yeah oh yeah no taxes for that guy no none no armageddon armageddon perks yeah 100 sean j. He should marry Liv Tyler.

Dessert. I've never been a huge dessert person, but when I do get it, I go back to when I was a kid, the rare times I would get dessert out with my parents, and this was at Perkins, and it would be one of those pies. It would be a piece of French silk pie.

French silk? What is that? Is that a vanilla? Nice little shavings. It had the shavings on it so i looked at it and i because i didn't like pie yet but i was like that's chocolate there's like a candy bar on there and i want that and then you take a bite in and it's like it's like whipped cream or something on top and then chocolate and then the crust so it's a dope pie but the the top has little bow ties of chocolate, kind of. It's just, I don't know,

when I was a kid, I was like, well, that looks dope. It's great. And remains one of my favorite pies to this day. If I eat pie, which I'm not really a sweets guy. I like candy, obviously, but I'd rather have, I don't know, something else. Like more

gravy or some shit. I don't know. It else. Sure. Like more gravy or some shit. I don't know. More gravy. It's a respectable pick. It's a good pie. It's when you have a good lardy crust, too. You know what I mean? Where it's like a... Yeah.

So it's got a different kind of moisture to it. Yeah, almost salty. And the crust has a different moisture to it than the pie itself. It's still a moist crust, but it's different. It still has architecture to it. Sure. And the pie, like the filling has got like a mousse feel to it it's like a like a light flowy but it feels like you're biting into like really light bread or something you're like oh this is interesting

but again two different textures because you have that whipped cream top that vanilla whipped cream top into the chocolate yeah three because you get that shaving sometimes you get a little crunch you got that chocolate shaving on top. Glad that worked. My heart was getting tense. I was nervous. Awful pick. David, talk to your fourth.

No, I'm just joking. Your fourth and then your final pick. Okay. I'm nervous. You see me smashing the cat here. Oh, it's this cat I've been smashing. So you're the guy with the slippery shrimp in Chinatown. You can't talk about your girlfriend like that. You want to give more context for a sentence like that.

It's like a little stress ball. Who's got the slippery shrimp in Chinatown? Oh, that cat I've been smashing, dude. Who doesn't? Okay. So I'm taking my second entree.

Can't believe this is still on the board. There's a lot of crazy stuff on the fuck. I don't. Yep. It's I'm going breakfast. Obviously. There is a one, one breakfast for me still on there. That gives you a lot.

There's a breakfast. There's a breakfast item that gets item that touches all the bases. Yes, there is, but I got to be true to my heart like the Mulan song. I am going to take... Wait before you take it. We'll be right back

after another short break. Hello, this is DanielVanCurk.com. I hope you're enjoying me on this episode. The guys are cool enough to let me be on it. Plus also, they're cool enough to let me do this ad. For what? Well, I already mentioned it, but I'm going on tour. I have my own tour. It's called the Together Again Tour, and you can get tickets at DanielVanKirk.com. It starts on March 1st. That's this next run. March 1st in Bend, Oregon. Then I'm in Portland on the 2nd. Then I'm in Seattle on the 3rd. Then I'm in Salem,

Oregon on the 4th. And then I'm in Mount Vernon, Washington on the 5th. So I'm hopping around Pacific Northwest. And I hope you come hang out with me. If I made you laugh on this episode, or you thought maybe I'm a decent enough time to risk a night with. Thank you. You're right. Let's get together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be a real good time. DanielVanKirk.com for all my tickets, dates. Everything is in the Pacific Northwest on this first run. Other cities coming at you too. But for right now, let's get together. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing.

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in there. And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash all fantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash all fantasy spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply. And we're back, David Borey. It's tough. Go with your heart, dude. It is tough as fuck. I gotta take a three-egg omelet. Ooh!

Yeah, with some hash browns. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Just the omelet, just the omelet, just the omelet. Just the omelet. Just the omelet. Just the omelet.

Just the omelet. This guy takes all the mode and he starts fucking feeling himself. Hey, come on, baby. I like to get wet. Come on. It's raining outside, right? Why three egg? Why not?

You're grabbing that waitress apron being like, you know what? Can I get one more thing? Actually, I know we closed out, but. I'm the guy she doesn't like talk me through the omelet what's on this thing yeah because 3a what are you going i'm going i'm going diced ham cheddar uh probably tomato green peppers oh so we're going denver yeah yeah mile high till i die baby 303 denver denver i had it on the list specifically i had denver omelet and you know what it would have been a bottom for me because uh not my favorite type of omelet i knew that

that's gonna win you a lot a lot a lot and somebody looks at the board that's gonna win you a lot but uh it's a great pick it's the standard omelet stand you know what i mean i like a swiss and mushroom okay great omelet okay i like a ham and broccoli yeah broccoli is great in the eggs so that's my fourth pick and then my fifth pick i don't know if i want where are your entree entree aesthetic dessert so you can go anywhere you're you're you're anyway that's what i'm saying and there is like one it's like okay i have an aesthetic that i do really love yeah nobody was gonna pick it i don't think anybody is gonna pick this is long that's true you got a deep list but there's also something on there that is another food that is like come on i gotta take you i gotta do it i gotta do it

i gotta do it i'm taking pancakes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i do yeah i do yeah 100 you know it was one of it was one of my um i was gonna do it as a miscellaneous and that was gonna be pancake for the table pancake for the table pancake for the table, pancake for the table, pancake for the table wins you so many people. When you, when you grab, when you grab that apron and go, Oh, can we just get a pancake for the table? Yes. Everybody's like what, you know, when sometimes you end up at like in our twenties, everything you would end up at like next, next day, breakfast, dinner, diner, whatever thing with like your friend and then some of their friends and you go can we get a pancake for a table everybody's like i fucking knew i liked this

motherfucker when we had this guy i knew i fucking liked you yeah this guy gets to hang pancakes man it's i picked up for the table at a little dom's a couple weeks ago fucking it made the breakfast made the breakfast because even you know what i've talked about this before i've talked about this before i don't always want a stack of pancakes i almost never do no but a few bites a few bites you could have a subpar entree and if you have that pancakes for the table and they're hitting like a lemon ricotta yep oh you go back to it a little bit and then say oh did you guys want me to clear so no no we're still picking at that pancake. Yes, we are. David, can I tell you the thing I thought you would pick that hits all of them? It gives you.

Wait, don't say it. There's still. There's still. But it can't be drafted, right? I have entrees. Yeah, but it's pancake related. Can it be drafted? No, no, no, no.

You're right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's pancake related. It gives you an aesthetic. It gives you an entree. It gives you a dessert. And that aesthetic is fucking all these

are huge the aesthetic is the biggest part of it i thought you might have gone you're at a diner you're five years old you get that mickey mouse pancake oh yeah that mickey mouse pancake is literally you just went yard touch them all yeah it's witchcraft when you're that age yeah it's insane you're getting everything i could have chocolate for breakfast how did they how did they get what is it my birthday how did they do that are you guys are you guys getting divorced again how did i get this are you getting remarried you already got back together you get that kid a mickey mouse pancake they will never think you split up because of them ever no no well it can't be me because here I am Mickey Mouse pancake but but still still you you yeah you're catching a piece of it anyway just with the pancake yeah and it's just it's it's

it's crazy that it's even still available yeah you know what I mean yeah it's first round talent for sure I'm just definitely I'm not a sweetsman I just had to get it I do feel bad that I didn't get my aesthetic my other aesthetic but we'll talk about it in the roundup Sean Jordan my last pick miscellaneous very very specific to me

but it is the last pick whenever we were leaving Perkins when I was a kid I would always get a roll of tropical certs and that would be the thing that was like my treat for the night and uh i would just every single time my mom would get me like a like a tube of certs do you guys remember certs yeah i remember certs yeah just a tube i did not see that coming i feel bad because i feel bad because i feel like we pick on you comedically a lot. You know what I mean?

Sometimes that has become a pattern. Sometimes too much. Sometimes we lean on it too much. This is maybe the worst pick that's ever happened. Well, it's all me. It's just me leaving the diner. You can't take that. I mean, he's Corey Feldman down in the well right now.

He's like, I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back. It's like a thing of certs, bro. I love certs, by the way. Yeah. I love them. I them i was leaving the diner it was like you know how they have them like right when you pay they had like a they have like a little candy stand yeah yeah yeah yeah wait is this your entree sean this is my miscellaneous i know i'm fucking with you oh you dickhead i mean there is that little candy right you're gonna donate to the lions when you buy that certs is that what's happening the the You're going to donate to the Lions when you buy that, Sertz? Is that what's happening? The local Lions

club gets a little... Yeah, it was like, you know, you 50 cents or whatever. Yeah, like the little box. It's not on the bill or anything. You just get it. This is bean burrito, no onions territory. Thank God you picked it fifth. Which was an amazing pick. Thank God you picked it fifth. Well, at least I waited until the last round for this one. Thank God you picked it fifth. Sertz, it's miscellaneous. Everything's on the menu

except what we've picked. I didn't want to pick something from the menu. I thought miscellaneous could be like anything. A situation. It could have been an aesthetic. You literally could have picked the door. I thought you just said I had to pick them. When I asked if miscellaneous had to be an entree, you said anything on the menu.

It could be anything. I mean the God's menu. It could be another aesthetic. It could be another dessert. It could be another entree. It could be your favorite parking spot outside the diner it could be a situation a breakup it could be a situation it could be certs it could be tropical it could be tropical certs well if it could be a situation i have you're not gonna like this pick anymore but it's the first thing i put for miscellaneous no wait are you officially changing your pick because you got a bail on cert i don't have to no i'm fine with picking you gotta live this is your list that you you gotta

dance with the one that brung you i understand it has a special nostalgic feel to it yeah i'll keep it and i respect that because i love you i do too yeah yeah if i'm talking about if i'm looking at blind items here if i'm not if there aren't any names written down and someone's sliding me a piece of paper and i'm seeing and i'm looking at it and i'm like okay who won this draft chicken fried steak great fucking start right monte cristo delicious okay yeah jukebox on the table not my tempo but again like if i'm if if what you're saying to me that is a larger aesthetic of a kind of place you know it's the kind of place yeah you gotta feel for it with the jukebox. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, cool. I'm having a good time. French silk pie, delicious. Oh, yeah. It is. It is. It is a cornucopia of textures and sweets and flavors. I'm having a good time.

Right. Well, then you're going to say, how did pancakes go in the fifth? That's your next step. I can pick what I wanted to pick. It was the first thing when I thought of miscellaneous. I can switch it. What I'm seeing is tropicalaneous. I can switch it. I'm seeing tropical certs. Not even mint certs.

Going off of memory of my favorite part of going to the diner when I was a kid. Do you want me to pick what I was going to pick? No. Is that what you want to pick? Is certs? When I thought miscellaneous was anything that could happen, I just thought it was like anything. I was going to pick something else,

but then I thought it had to be like a menu food item or something. No, no, no. So certs. But I mean, I'm fine with picking certs. Hey, I want to picture an 11-year-old you. Come on, we're going to Perkins. And you just go, yes, certs. And then you run into a sliding glass door that is closed that you thought was open.

That's 100%. I want to keep that. You're there for the certs. Yeah. I just know in 100 years and there's the leather bound, all fantasy, everything, the complete drafts.

And Ebenezer Jordan, your great grandson is picking out the book. Well, I'm getting snipped, so the bloodline doesn't... You already have a kid. This is Maxine's son's son. He's going to have to keep that Jordan name. Blows the dust off of it.

A diner. Oh, my God. What a great pick. Opens it up. Oh, David was there. David Boyd. This was before he returned to his compound in Sierra Leone and ended up a key player. Okay. Okay.

All right. All right. Daniel Van Kirk was there. Oh, okay, all right, all right, all right. Daniel Van Kirk was there. Oh, my God, I love Daniel Van Kirk. That guy's so fucking funny. Thank you. Daniel Van Kirk, he ended up running the front office for the Houston Texans. It was a weird path that took him there.

It happened, though. Yeah. It's crazy. Ian Carmel, missing, presumed dead. We don't know what happened. Gone so long, still unknown. And my great-grandfather sean jordan i've heard legends of his generosity his kindness his candor a spirit that could fill a room with positivity and light just by just by him walking in there my man and he sees certs yeah right i just want you to know that that's what's gonna happen you know what he's gonna he's gonna

go did i did my great grandpa start a different draft at the end of this thing the other was he chain smoking drafts what happened happened? The other pick was going to be a scuffle. So however you want it to go. That was the very first thing. The very first thing when I saw miscellaneous, I was like a scuffle. I love a little diner fight. Nothing crazy. I don't want anyone getting shot.

Where don't you love to watch fights? It's hilarious. All fucked up at a diner at the end of the night. So if you want that to be it, but no, it's certs. The only good thing about a diner fight is the person who's at the table. It's not a fight.

It's a scuffle. The person who's also at the table where the scuffle starts and does not break eating. Doesn't even. Yeah. They are tired

of these two people. This has been going on long enough. They finally got biscuits and gravy. Yeah. It's a real specific time of the diner,

but there's always, it always happens and it's always, most real specific time of the diner, but it always happens, and it's always, most of the time, very funny to see how it went down. Either way, dude, it's yours. You love it. It is a one-one pick for obscure candy, and so you should be happy with that.

Different draft. The stress test, we drove the tanks across the bridge. The bridge didn't crumble, baby baby you got it you fucking got it i mean this is people are gonna email me or dm me about it this is this is a fun thing that we do just so you all know yeah this is my i would i would kill or die for sean jordan yeah it's uh oh i thought you meant they were gonna send you hate mail because of the search pic being bad they No, they think we... Well, they might. They're going to be like, hey, man, stand by it. I'll be like, I will.

I'm a grown-up. He did. He just did. I have a daughter in the other room that... He likes certs. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, we're... People make bad stuff sometimes.

David's out here not wearing a mask, and so whatever. Yeah, David doesn't wear a mask. Sean, what you really like... I'm triple vaccinated. What you really like is the, I just had a good experience with my family, and an adult looks down at you and goes you want one of those and you go yeah and you get a little something on the way out the door

that's the beauty of the whole role and you give a quarter to St. Jude's you're a good guy yeah that fits your spirit Daniel Van Kirk your final pick final pick I have to go dessert I've obviously been outside the case I'm very happy with how this draft ship shipped up.

You've just been standing there drooling for the last hour. Still. I cannot wait to lament the things I didn't get to pick. I know. I'm going dessert. And our waitress that, thank God, Ian drafted into this for us is at the end. She's like, that it for you boys? You know, because, you know, she wants to go smoke a cigarette.

She's getting her break. And I say to her, I think I want to do pie. And she goes, okay. And now the affection is there, right? And I go, what would you get? And when they say this pie to you, you know you're about to fucking melt into that booth i'm going coconut cream pie yes i had it on the list yeah coconut cream pie done right done perfect with the rep you know

obviously you know i built in the recommendation for the waitress but it's just a i get assholes pie guys when i'm on tour people bring me pies it happens at so many shows people bring me pies and I'm great problem to have people bring me cutty suck you know I was with you one time and somebody brought you a pie now that you bring that up yeah I love it and I get ass all the time favorite pie

to me it goes what are we celebrating what's the season then I'll give you my answer that day but I think if they tell me they know what they do well, there's one other one too. It's a 1A, 1B for me, but I'll go with that coconut cream pie. You get it. It's a little browned on the top.

What's the 1B? You can say it because I have to take an entree, and I already know what it's going to be. Banana cream. You get a good banana cream pie. I have those two on my list back to back. So I'll go coconut cream pie and and when it's done right you're like well that's the best fucking meal it almost doesn't even matter if they screwed up

your monte cristo at that point because you're walking out of there you feel like someone just gave you a roll of certs it's so fucking good ah you're on top of the world yeah baby that's my pick tropical is clutch i don't want wintergreen i don't want to see it yeah nobody doubted you sean my final pick i've i it's been it's it's a heavy it's heavy you know what i mean uh vanilla milkshake corned beef hash i need something a little brighter i need something that's got a little brightness to it maybe even it's got a vegetable in it but nothing anybody's gonna fuck up i love it if i can go into a diner and get a good club sandwich dude oh yeah my second that was my second oh yeah item my second food item turkey club oh oh yeah a little bacon on there oh mayonnaise the bread is toasted great

yep yep yep the that iceberg% water lettuce is crisp. Yeah, crisp. There's not too much tomato. Just a little bit. Just a little. I don't want a thick cut. I want a thin cut of tomato on there. Everything's fresh.

It doesn't feel like they've had in the fridge or freezer or whatever for a long time. It's just like fresh. You just made this. It's a club sandwich. It was invented at the club. You could still go play a little more tennis after that you know what i mean but i'm having a diner yeah and i'm dipping the whole thing in a ranch ramekin oh great call and i know i know that we said no to this hash browns and the sides but it's almost for me i can't get and this is divisive for

people but i can't get club sandwich without some steak fries. I love a steak fry. I do too. Some people hate them. They're just big edible spoons. Exactly. I don't want to, I mean, I had the last pick, but Marissa still has to make a pick. But for me, instead of steak fries, and Marissa, I'm sorry if this was your pick,

onion rings. Yeah, onion rings. Onion rings is in my miscellaneous. I'm an onion ringman. Marissa. I love it. What's your pick? I love aesthetics, so that's what I'm picking for.

Now, I've never been to a diner like this. I don't know if one exists with this aesthetic, but I would love to see it. I want to go to a cyberpunk themed diner. Wow. So high tech, low life. That's it. I don't know if I can handle that.

I hope that exists, and if it doesn't, I hope somebody creates it now so you can go enjoy... What would you eat at a diner, Marissa? Oh, God, I didn't even think... I was just so into the aesthetic of it, I didn't even think of the food. I just love being in that ambience.

Some high-tech disco fries. Excellent pick, Marissa, as always. To recap, David, you went first. You took patty melt, apple pie a la mode, signed photos of famous people on the walls, a three-egg Denver omelet, and pancakes. That's a balanced draft. Sorry, I'll shut up.

Rip off the band-aid. Sean, you went second. You took chicken fried steak, and then the count of Monte Cristo, and then jukebox on the table, little jukebox on the table, French silk pie. I sure did.

Your great grandson is bewildered. Yeah. Bewildered. Sitting in a... He brought the book to a cyberpunk themed diner. And he's sitting there and he's bewildered. And he can't... He reads the words and he knows what each of those words means but together

in this context he's at a loss when he reads tropical certs what the hell Daniel you went third you took open faced turkey sandwich biscuits and gravy

when you're sitting at the bar across across from the order window, the rotating pie case. And then, holy shit, did I? Oh, and then, oh my God, a coconut cream pie. A coconut cream pie. I went last. I took an angry old waitress who warms up to you throughout the course of your meal. A vanilla milkshake with a tin ramekin next to it coffee a corned beef hash and a nice club sandwich we left so many wonderful picks on the board we're gonna get killed for not just drafting eggs

scrambled eggs scrambled eggs eggs and yeah a matzo ball soup if you can find it in the right place i had a uh local sports memorabilia. Oh, yeah. I love that, too. Sean kind of touched on this for Aesthetic, but a place that was opened in the 70s that was themed like the 50s, but they haven't updated it since the 70s. Oh, yeah.

Like a checkered floor kind of thing. Like Astro Diner over on Fletcher. They still got the wood paneling and a lot of orange and stuff in it. I love that shit. Can I run through some of mine? A half of a car of mine of a car? All kinds of stuff. Entrees. I would, I could, if I'd been forced to it, I've been happy to just go with a straight up your seven years old grilled cheese, just a grilled chicken fingers. I almost went with the two, two, two special. Every diner has the two

eggs, but I didn't know if you guys are going, you can't order a fucking special dude. It's a little, little LA ish, but when done right, you can't order a fucking special, dude. It's a little LA-ish, but when done right, you can find them at these diners. Breakfast Burrito. Oh, I had that on my list, too.

Yeah. It's kind of the chilaquiles. Yeah, yeah. Everyone has huevos and churros. Fish and chips. Man, when you're just like, just give me the fucking,

and you know it's good. I thought that that was a controversial pick and I left it off. I have that on the list. Yeah, fish and chips. They're cooking everything in that deep fat, so you're soaking up all off i have that on the list yeah they're cooking everything in that deep fat so you're soaking up all the flavor it's all flavor yeah i said uh

miscellaneous a pancake for the table i said that you know another one i could have gone just and maybe you guys would have vetoed it that's okay the salad bar you just be like all right you know what i'll get the salad bar it's because it basically it is one theme of things but you know when you're a kid you're just loading up on peaches and cottage cheese. Cubed ham. Another miscellaneous. Bacon bits. Another miscellaneous.

You're four years old, and they just bring you the biggest chocolate milk you've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the way to the top where it's like brimming over a little bit even. I kind of thought, Sean, I thought you were going to pick that. Yeah, you're a milkman. Yeah. I went with just the straight up white bread, little squares,

buttered toast with grape jelly. You get to put that jelly on yourself. So fucking good. I would have done a root beer. And then you know what else I love, diner? You want to feel a little? I talked about the hug of food. A well-done chicken and rice soup at a diner.

A little chicken and rice soup. I had a chicken noodle soup on my list. And then the other one, it was all regular stuff. Man, you nailed. I said strawberry shake with metal tin cup. You went vanilla. I would have gone cobbler if I had to. Obviously, apple pie.

My aesthetic. These are the ones I want to run by you guys the most. I picked the sitting across the bar. The other one, just the regular. Just the person you know is coming there every single day. Pants are too big. Belt doesn't fit. Wife died 13 years ago. Doesn't know how to cook for himself. Yeah. Like Max, so you're here, you know, and Max got his table. They already know what he wants to eat. It's two pieces of ham, one egg over hard. That's it. No salt, no pepper. Might as well build the diner around them. Yeah. Another aesthetic, when they give you crayons to draw on the little paper place setting.

Oh, shit. That's a good one. That's fantastic. There's some that have the whole table is paper. Yeah. Love that. You know what else? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The elderly couple. Just the elderly couple that's always there at the diner. My first time in New York, I'm in Manhattan. I go to a place called the Orion Diner. The booth behind me is an elderly couple arguing about how there's not enough matzo balls in the

matzo ball soup. And I was like this everything here is going to be perfect. You know what else headshots of old Newcastle? I think the specials board, even if you don't order anything. Oh yeah, and you see the specials board. There's doing some sort of prime, you walk in, you see the specials board. They're doing some sort of prime rib, but it's not until tomorrow night.

They got everything sometimes written in neon for some reason. Yes, yes, yes. It is frustrating when you see the specials for the other days, and you're like, well, God damn it, it's Wednesday, not Thursday. Fuck, I would have gotten the Thanksgiving dinner. I know you can make it. Make it tomorrow. The other thing I like at a diner, this this is my last one walking up to pay after you're done eating yeah you get oh yeah you get a little stretch you stretch it out a little bit you grab the tape

your other your friend you know maybe you got a little bit of extra in your student loans that semester and you grab that you grab that ticket and then they go oh you're like i got it then you walk up and then somebody you know if they see you come and they meet you there, and they're like, how was everything? It was great. Other people are coming in while you're paying. Oops, sorry. I'll just get around here real quick.

Yeah, somebody else comes in. Did you have an order? No, we just want a piece of pie. We'll go after Daniel's done here. A little roll of certs on your way out just to get a good palette. I wasn't going to say it. I wasn't going to say it. You can buy a lottery ticket

when you're there too sometimes. There's a diner. What is it? Oh man, I'm forgetting that. Langston's or something like that over in Burbank. They got a scratcher machine right there in the diner. You buy your scratchers right when you walk in. Langer's, that's what it is. Langer's, yeah.

Honorable mention shot of monster ball soup. As I said, the. Yeah. Honorable mention, shout out, Monster Ball Soup. As I said, the Reuben. Yeah, Reuben. Even in a shitty diner. It's hard to fuck up a Reuben, but I already had the corned beef slash pastrami. A meatloaf sometimes? If a diner does a meatloaf?

Yeah. A meatloaf was on my list, too. If that mean waitress tells you to get that meatloaf, you know. You get that meatloaf. Yeah. You get that meatloaf. A pot pie sometimes at a diner shout out i didn't have that i didn't even think about that uh shout out to philadelphia and shout out to a night we had

their scrapple which i don't even really know what it is yeah it's just like flat fry right yeah it's a hash you kind of meet. Scrambles in the dessert area. A cinnamon roll. Sometimes a diner does a cinnamon roll that's going to be real good. Damn, that would have been a good dessert. Chocolate cake. Sometimes you'll see a little cake in the spinner too. Like a piece out of it and you're like, ooh, that looks delectable.

Aesthetic wise, this is a larger aesthetic, but the log cabin theme. Oh, yeah. Black Bear Diner. That's big up here. Black Bear Diner, yeah. This is a larger aesthetic, but the log cabin theme. Oh, yeah. Black Bear Diner. That's big up here. Black Bear Diner. Yeah. You get outside of Portland, you'll find every little town's got that diner. Yeah.

I love that. This one in Big Bear. I love it. And the one in Big Bear has photos of all the... The cousin to the headshots, it's photos of all the locals, all the regulars. Yeah. Oh, that's sick. Good. Give them their propers. of all the locals, all the regulars. Yeah. Oh, that's sick. Good.

Give them their propers. And also, oh, this is a miscellaneous, a place that has pancakes, but they're called something else. Oh, I love that. Oh, like grandpa stacks or something weird. I'm like, oh, those are probably pretty good. I almost went with the silver dollar pancakes, too. Remember when you first introduced those?

And you're like, I'm special. I forgot about silver dollars. Yeah. Mine are little. I love when they call them something. You want a griddle? You're like, is that a pancake? Do you want a griddle or not? Griddle cake. Yeah, I want a griddle. Bring them over. You guys have any honorable mentions?

No, I got all my good ones out. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to hear yours. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. We love you. Thank you so much for holding us down and letting us do what we do. Shout out to everyone on the

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