All Fantasy Everything - Airports (w/ Adam Cayton-Holland, Sean Jordan, David Gborie)

Episode Date: August 11, 2022

Come fly with the GVG! The world is back open so are we! Today, we're drafting "AIRPORTS!" Like dope stuff, not specific airports. Find yourself a tiny bag of tiny pretzels and listen to us say nice things about air travel!  Washington DC! Come see All Fantasy Everything LIVE on 10/2! Tickets at: dcimprov-com.seatengine.com/shows/180042   Guest: Adam Cayton-Holland @CaytonHolland IG: @CaytonHolland Podcast: The Grawlix Saves The World   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all fantasy everything. The podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. This episode, we're drafting Airports. Our guest today is comedian Adam Caton-Holland. Adam hosts the Grawlix Saves the World podcast and created the series Those Who Can't, which can be streamed on HBO Max and features not only your boy, but also your other boy. David, you were in it, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, same here. We also don't dip anything into Alfredo that doesn't belong in Alfredo, and I don't know if there's a link there or not, but look into it. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and join me, as always, are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it i'm your host ian carmel and join me as always are my friends and comedians sean jordan and david borey let's get into it welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that got a compliment on his skin today and has been riding mad high pretty much since it happened. You got a regimen going? I've just been, so I'm sun-kissed. Now, I don't need to tell you guys that, but this is an audio medium. I'm sun-kissed right now. I drink a lot of water. You're talking about that new sun-kissed visor that you got?

I wear a sun-kissed upside-down visor, kind of off to the side, because I'm a little twisted myself. And I drink a lot of water. I'm sun-kissed. I'll say it again. And, you know, I've been eating clean, heading into the old bachelor party. And, yeah, here I sit with just some fuck. I'm ebullientient who gave you this compliment

my dana's friend well my friend too is katie you know katie dana's friend katie yeah so you know i you should you look great i'm telling you get on a regiment as a guy who's had a regiment for a while it's uh i usually i do one of the shows in session and I, but I, I lotion every day. That's, that's not even, that's not even part. That's another part of it. Right. I lotion everywhere now. I mean, I got my whole body now, like my knees and shit.

I never used to, I never used to lotion anything but my face, but I lotion my whole body now. I also didn't for a long time, Adam. Yeah. Lotion things besides my face. Yeah. I mean, I've masturbated. Yeah. yeah we don't get well we get ashy but it's like nobody sees i don't beat off with lotion either i never done as a young man i i dabbled in lotions sure never was i like i wanted to i want to start with a mess that's always crazy to me when people like i'm gonna go jack off with lotion starting with a mess it's not finishes with a mess what's the diff

yeah well not everybody can jerk off in the bath in the morning before school like you did you know i didn't do that it floats everywhere you don't do that lucky move a nice pre-shower lotion well this is right at the top of the podcast but i it is like a pre-shower i took it there i apologize no please not at all we were all we talked about we were talking we were speaking of lotion you said a boole We were speaking of lotion. You said ebullient. I didn't know if it was ebullient. I've been lost ever since, Ian. Is that the same word? I don't know. Was the pronunciation

through me? I don't know. In the region of France, I was recently in, it's ebullient, so that's probably where I got thrown off. Okay, fair enough. Now I'm on lotion. Chez Poufy? Yeah, the one thing you only on your face? your whole life pretty much until about your elbows never until about like honestly until probably covet started until i had a little time on my hands uh i never did and then like a did a bottle of lotion just last you like two

years ages probably longer than that for sure yeah not even a bottle like it's like one of the two you know like a little guy would last forever like a bottle of lotion that was manufactured in west germany you know what i mean like yeah yeah burma and stuff like like just countries that aren't around anymore i'm probably rocking a bottle every two months no that see now i do now i go through and i have a face lotion and the body lotion i have two different ones where before i didn't know that i didn't know that was a difference sean when do you apply your body lotion what when during the day do you apply your body lotion post post shower after i dry off yeah okay right the first thing in the morning

yeah okay i don't take a shower in the morning anymore i do it at night i go pre-bed just based on uh prestige television i've seen as your major in college right pre-bed pre-bed but you know those tv shows when like it's a man and a woman like they're married and they're having like a pre-bed conversation the woman's always putting on like lotion it's very my so-called life the mom's always putting on lotion pacing around the bedroom talking about about her daughter so i blew that i was like i guess that's when you put lotion on that's when i put lotion no that's the middle-aged woman that's the middle-aged mom approach for sure yeah i love it i love it raised by sue carmel you know also i noticed when white ladies put on lotion on tv

they like rub their hands too much and not where the lotion goes. Yeah, there's a lot of that. They put it in their hands, and then they're just doing this for minutes. Yeah. They're giving the actor an activity, David. I don't know if that's actually how it goes. They're giving her something to do on screen. It's always like, I don't know what she's going to do.

She's been suspended three times this school year. That's exactly right. Let's give those actors something else to do. Maybe take apart a rotisserie chicken right before bed. Yeah. I think everybody should pull Brad Pitt. Pills, pills, pills, pills. Just a grand amount of pills.

They're just in their little day pill counter. She took 11 pills before going to bed. That's not right. She looks young. She's probably 42. What's she doing? What if she spends a little bit of time on her quilt you know right before bed come on give us some other looks crackers eating crackers yeah yeah that's a nighttime food just coughing dry mouth do you

guys ever eat crackers i find that i rarely do in life when i'm trying to when i'm trying to not eat food at night i'll eat i'll get like a couple saltines like instead of uh going into the fridge and getting a snack i will have crackers on hand to do that just so i don't even keep saltines in the house what do you do for snacks at night do you do you get down like you keep it healthy grapes and stuff yeah just whatever like i'll just i'll eat like a piece of cold leftovers like something i i made recently i'm not like a big you've been to my house i don't buy like a ton of like snack food it's you know what i mean it's just like i'll make like you know a bunch of chicken

or something and then i'll just the last time i was there i think we ordered 60 wings yeah yeah but then it'll just be in my fridge or whatever i made that yeah i just eat old i eat a lot of leftovers i don't really there are that yeah i'll discuss almost anything on this podcast sex love you know relationship religion how whether or not i eat crackers is is the one piece i'm going to keep off to your great you're taking that don't yeah i've never seen you eat a cracker and i lived with you for four years exactly so that's the thing that like is for me and and whether or not i do it that's like i'm an open book i'll air all your shit out oh you've never seen me in a cracker so you don't know you don't i you know i have i have a door i have a room and it has a door on it all right

and in that room he's living a life sean yeah there's hidden crackers in there well maybe damn all right hidden crackers that movie came out after hidden figures and it didn't do it anywhere hidden crackers is about the last three guys on duke's bench towels over there just sitting there like no on Duke's bench. Towels over there just sitting there like, no. I don't really play like that. Christian

Lehner EP'd. It's the only way they got it through. Christian Lehner signed on. He EP'd that shit. Pharrell did do a song for it. You know what I feel bad about? They made a whole movie about us not wanting to hate him. And I still see him and I'm like, I kind of fucking hate that guy. I know.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't get it. There's no reason for it. I know I'm in the wrong, but you know, that's his burden. I don't know. What was the thing? Everybody, nobody liked him because he was like rich and had everything handed to him. Is that what it was?

He just looked like the golden boy. Yeah. They thought he wasn't that at all, but he was hot and had everything handed to him? Is that what it was? He just looked like the golden boy. Yeah, they thought he wasn't that at all, but he was hot and went to Duke. Right. So you would think. You know what I mean? And he was a victim of the hair of the era, too.

It was very kind of wavy 90s, seeming lacrosse player hair. He had that for sure. I had that until this morning. Can I ask you guys a question? Yeah. I was laying in bed the other day. I'm in. Eating crackers.

Eating crackers. Crackers, no crackers. I was laying in bed, eating crackers, putting on lotion. Crackers, mostly crumbs all over my skin, just really rubbing the fuck in. That's the regimen you were talking about. That's my regimen. Lotion, the crackers crackers in the chest hair I was just eating scoops handfuls of panko

and uh big hands I'd never use it to fry shit like with the Christian Leitner thing, and then I think about like the 60s and the 70s, do white people like long hair or not? I can't tell. Yeah, that's a good question.

That's it. I don't know. That's a really good question. So you guys don't have any answers for me? Yeah, I need time. I want to write you a report on that. I'll have a five-parag paragraph essay by the end of the podcast it just seems like a very it seems like a very controversial subject you show my mom a wet guy with long hair and uh a wet guy i've talked about this like a guy coming out of the water let's say with long hair forget

about it okay she's she's she's hypnotized it's it's bananas most of our rock gods had that hair you know most of the rock yeah so well that dude in lost boys that that sax player in lost boys my mom would just zone i mean like visibly get horny in front of me when when that dude would come on and it's just like holy buckets dude she just can't even stop it i'm gonna, holy buckets, dude. She just can't even stop it. I'm going to have to get a mopping bucket. She can't even stop it. It's wild. I'm talking about your mom.

I'm so sorry. That was reflex. I didn't like that either. I didn't even say anything. I mean, you know. No, I did. You said buckets. You said horny and then buckets in a five second span.

Which you give me a gun and put me on the range. Something's getting shot. Instead of saying holy buckets, should I start saying horny buckets and just see if anyone notices yes it's gonna be a lot weirder at like all of the places you go let me get let me get ranch and blue cheese and they bring it to the table like horny buckets thank you oh horny buckets i say try try it for a week try it for a week yeah there are there's white people who are definitely upset about long hair, but those same people love Jesus. So I don't know. But Jesus had long hair.

I feel like he did. I feel like that we can take. No matter what race Jesus had, the hair was long. Yeah, no one's like Jesus had a three, four clipper fade. No one's pitching that argument. There's a religion. I would love for Jesus to have a bald fade. Yeah.

Short hair Jesus. I feel like the Christian right would really get behind like a set your watch to his haircut Jesus. That might be the new thing. If the world is going to hell it might as well go to hell while we're getting rich off of selling

paintings of crew cut Jesus. We've had Joe Namath Jesus for too long. Let's Johnny Unitas this motherfucker. Yes, exactly. I worry that that's the first step. Wait. We had a Jesus in a fur coat? I wasn't privy to this Jesus. You know, party Jesus.

Good time party Jesus. Broadway Jesus. Broadway Jesus. Oh shit, Broadway Jesus is here. That would be somebody. Hey, my broadway jesus just got out you cool if he comes to the party i go sure that's yeah yeah yeah yeah that's why we're having a party i didn't know why i was having a party tonight that's why you need to ask everybody but they're gonna say yes yeah broadway jesus dude broadway jesus shows up in one giant roller skate yeah turns water to champagne yeah man you're like i don't even know if i like this it kind of gives me a headache but you drink

it because everybody else is yeah it's a champagne party all of a sudden he'll be there in the morning broadway jesus isn't leaving until after he makes breakfast he's the one that walks up to you and is like hey who that girl have a boyfriend you're like yeah me and he's like oh and he gives the outlook like that's too bad because he's gonna do what he's gonna do anyways yeah you're saying jesus fucked your girlfriend saying he tried well what happened we'll leave it at that what happened this riff got weird yeah yeah we'll leave it at that horny but horny bucket horny buckets man that was my that was my pickup name when we when i used to play pickup games at the y

yeah it's because he's one of those weird kids on the team who always had wood horny buckets i wouldn't worry about the boner man i i'm sinking threes long and one shorts full bat sean jordan yeah your basketball your shorts aren't supposed to have pockets but his always do just telling him you can't control of owners you can't control when you get them so it's not my fault you can't do it talk about shorts you could smuggle a hard-on in those and one shorts were huge oh yeah they were massive i wish i still had that shit i wish i still had my shorts a sleeveless shirt with like a no no face guy saying i'm out here all week or whatever they all said just needlessly aggressive yeah kind of

terrifying silhouettes on the end one really what was going on with that artwork that was fucking weird didn't they have like eyebrows or something wasn't there like some of the features they were like buff dudes and their faces looked like the front of fighter jets basically like it was nothing it was nothing going on there but they were both it was also crazy because those guys the models the guy was on a t-shirt not wearing a t-shirt like i think it's crazy to wear a t-shirt with a guy that doesn't have a shirt on on right he's saying like oh you wear shirts yeah i guess i guess we're built different. You play basketball in shirts, you pussy. Yeah. I'm wearing that shirt into the pool.

I'm wearing that shirt into the pool. Yeah. I was wearing that shirt doing the least and one shit. For sure. Just like stealing Kit Kats from Albertsons. That's the least and one shit there. Yep. Stealing Kit Kats from Albertsons that's the least and one shit there yep getting technical fouls for smashing super nintendo controller shawnis jordan is here shawn cougar melon jordan on instagram shawnis jordan on twitter

shawn fresh haircut jordan getting ready for vegas man on the fade yeah i'm excited about it we're going to vegas he's got a haircut for it oh that's what this is about is this this is the bachelor party in vegas i didn't know why he was going to vegas i didn't want to pry it already happened in it already happened in when this comes out okay got it got it well then i won't have to talk too much about it then baby it happened because this comes out aug out August the 1st. Got it. Got it. Now, Vegas aside, I want to thank everybody for coming out to Faded

two weeks ago. It will be when this airs. We have, by now you will know, but we have, what's the date? August 25th, we have Subha Argarwal

coming for Faded. She's going to be fantastic. She's going to tear it up. I'm thrilled that we got her. So, those tickets will be on sale so come check that out august 25th migration brewing faded portland her hour is sick right now it's so good it's so so good doing like we've only done we haven't even done the second one yet

but we have jamel on thursday and it's just so fun it's like funny over everything was he and where it's like tight because you know you get to bring people that you want. And it's just so fun. It's like funny over everything, was he? And where it's like tight. Cause you know, you get to bring people that you want to see. It's fucking sick, man. I'm so stoked. Anyway,

Jamel is just, I'm so excited to see Jamel that already happened. So again, thank you for coming. But, um, those are going to be great shows. Yeah. I'm excited about it.

Other than that, you know, uh, keep listening to the show and chilling and have a good time and call somebody that you haven't talked to in a while believe in haircut Jesus and just be excellent to each other David Borey is here coolguyjokes77 on Instagram

he's not on Twitter but you can find him on the All Fantasy Everything podcast as well as oh what date does this come out? August 11th oh go tomorrow and saturday go see me in cleveland's at in cleveland's in cleveland at hilarity's stand-up comedy club i will be in the small

room because it's summertime and i'm not famous with busy Izzy Bone. Flesh. No, wish and bone. Wish, all right. Wishing I sell some fucking tickets. Fucking, God damn it. I feel like you can't feel bad about being in a small room in Cleveland in the summertime because I feel like Cleveland has a window and they got to take advantage of that shit. Right. It's so beautiful. It's like, no, it's just got to take advantage of that shit. Right. It's,

it's so beautiful. It's like, no, it's just cause I was in the big room last time. So no, it's great. Great. Coming up.

No, that's the summer thing. That's the summer thing. No, I know. I know. I know. I love touring.

My hour's good now too. I think you'll like it. Maybe you won't. There's a lot of silly stuff. Could go either way. Even that level of not being sure is enough to where I'd buy a ticket and who knows maybe it'll be

crowd work I did a headlining set in Denver I asked David I asked David to do a spot on it it's not your turn yet it's not your turn yet I regretted it his hour is great that's how good his hour is it's a compliment I regretted I was like fuck I didn't want

I forgot I'd have to work. I forgot I'd have to work this hard. He did follow me. He followed me great. Also, I ran the light like a dickhead. Either way, August 12th and 13th, come see me in Cincinnati. Running the light? What are you? What are you, Shane Torres?

No comment. Got him. Man, ripped him up. Also, this is weird. Go see Tom Segura's hour. Oh, yeah. Just saw him. Amy Miller was opening.

Amy's great. Tom was great. That's two scoops right there. Was that a trip? I've never seen stand-up in a stadium. Is it? Is it? It was crazy. Is it bark like that? It just seems gnarly, man. Yeah. Yeah, Amy got us a box. scoops right there was that a trip i've never seen stand-up in a stadium is it is it it was

it just seems gnarly man yeah yeah amy got us a box also if you guys are in the stand-up comedy red fox a lot of good stuff he did as well check him out henny youngman thank you you're welcome out here and that's it that's all i got that's that those are the two oh yeah i got other i can't remember them. I mean, if you're into stand-up comedy, just watch Sinbad. To this day, the best two hours I've seen in stand-up. To this day, the best two hours.

I did two completely different hours. I went with Amy, oddly enough. And it was the funniest shit I've ever seen ever in my life. Not to correct you, you watch Sinbad if you're into art. Yeah. I'm telling you, if you're out there being like i don't know about all that it's that dude is so goddamn funny i just anyway i know it's not what we're talking about but fuck he's funny seriously yeah clean

squeaky clean oh it was a treat i left in such a good mood both times. I mean, I'm usually in a good mood. You know what I mean? But anyway, can I draft Sinbad? Yeah. Adam Caden Holland is here. At Caden Holland on Twitter. At Caden Holland on Instagram.

I just got to sincerely apologize. I jumped the gun earlier. I was so excited. I was so excited. I was so angry. I know. I'm still... He was mad. I haven't seen him like that in a while. I'm still pretty angry.

I haven't been on this pod in a while, and I forgot there's pockets of time, what you can talk in. And I totally... I just wanted to compliment Bori so bad. I apologize to your listeners. I apologize to you guys. It's not happening again.

Again, it's an audio medium. I'm shaking right now. I apologize to you guys. It's not happening again. Again, it's an audio medium. I'm shaking right now. I'm so angry. The last time I saw him that mad was when that woman cut us off on the sidewalk in her Mercedes when we were walking to get bougie candles. Shit. We were going to the Diptyque on Larchmont. She cut us off in her car, and I threw my coffee cup at her. She almost hit us.

Is that real? Yeah, dude. Yeah. Fuck. It was amazing. Diptyque on Larchmont sounds like an E-40 lyric. That's the last I'm going to do.

That kind of joke. I just wanted to get one in. Nah, I like that. Diptyque on Larchmont in the bands. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Adam, do you do stand-up comedy? I do. I do stand-up comedy. I have a show in St. Louis on August 6th it's my one man show that I do called Happy Place

if you're in St. Louis come see me August 6th other than that I just want to plug this episode is coming out after that well then fuck all that don't call that ass to stay in it's gotta stay in don't come to that fucking show I was gonna phone it in anyway

I was just trying to go see Nolan Arenado play for the Cardinals I was looking for an excuse listen to my podcast listen to my podcast the Grawlix saves the world and you know comedy's dead anyway I hope you guys have fun with it. It's tied in St. Louis.

Yeah, it's tied in St. Louis with my last show. It's sad this podcast is coming out August 11th. You missed my last show, August 6th in St. Louis. It was a hell of a show, guys. They wrapped it up. Got some great jokes about the state of comedy. Shut up! It's Adam's turn to talk!

It's Adam's turn to talk! No, I'm done. I surrender the conch. Thank you. Thank you, Ian. The conch. I'm sorry. I'm so mad right now. I'm so upset. I'm so pissed.

My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Jewish Com app, which I Instagram, at iancarmel on Twitter, at iancarmel on Jewish Com app, which I'm using to sort of try to get everything under control. Oh, we're going to be at the DC Improv doing stand-up comedy, the three of us co-headlining a show together on the 30th of September and October 1st, and then on October 2nd, we're doing a live all fancy everything in the nation's capital.

Someone's flying up from Atlanta. They already hit us up. Good on you. That's a fucking, that's ill. So do we all do 30? I guess it's, you know, we can. That's going to be, I'm going to toot my own horn a little bit here.

That's going to be, it's going to be a really good standup show. It's a very funny phrase, toot your own horn. Yeah. I don't do it with lotion. People say. funny phrase, toot your own horn. Yeah. I don't do it with lotion. People say it. I will not toot my own horn with lotion. I do it with sandpaper.

Toot your own horny buckets. Toot your own horny buckets. He's tooting his own butt. Toot away. I think you're going to do great. Last time we were in D.C., it was so buck. Nick Salazar was hitting me up the other day,

and we were just recanting the buckness. Anyway, it's going to be fun hopefully less hot this time so funny that you talked to my friend Nick Sal I mean he's everybody's friend it's just so wild when you're like I was talking to Nick Salazar and for a second I'm like what the fuck I was like that was when we met right

and he goes no I met you on erection specialist day when we went to the erection specialist brunch I was after a high plane we went to eat breakfast and this dude was sitting there at the fucking breakfast bar with a shirt on a bright green construction worker shirt that said erection specialist

on it and I I'm the only one who admitted they thought it was funny everybody i guarantee in the whole restaurant thought it was funny sean went nuts they mean for it to be funny they're in on it right i mean come on hey i don't i don't think they are you don't think it was a bikini inspector 2.0 type of thing no they were a crew it was a working crew crew. We walked by all of... So after that, we walked by all the other specialists while they were erecting. They were erecting something. Oh, shit. I completely missed

that meaning of it. Got it. It was so tight. You know what's funny? Sean, I was working. Sean sent me a text that said erection specialists not two hours ago. It was Instagram. Somebody sent it to me on Instagram instagram i was like david needs to see this it has and can't miss his eyes well whether it's erections or elections that you like come see us

in washington dc the nation's capital where you can expect more on the finger on the pulse political comedy just like that that was good shit that was that was good thank you i was gonna do a rigged joke but i couldn't think of it in time you can hear me say how much i love this and i love all of you i mean i haven't said in a while this is awesome i'm excited you have i've had a i've had a i told you admittedly i felt ugly all day so this has cheered me up tremendously i'm thrilled about it i'm so happy to see you guys thanks for having me i'm thinking about getting back into comedy. I might do my comeback special at your DC show.

Bring it back. I might just show up. Do it. And get back into comedy. We would love that. You guys really like the spark in me, so I might come back. Dude, come to DC, man.

Harper's lying about going. You should come too. We'll see. Harper might come, dude. Harper. I know. Yeah. I'm trying to get.

If you're not in DC, you can catch us this high level of witty repartee and banter the very next week. A plane flight away in the land of 10,000 lakes and the land of 10,000 laughs

because we will be doing all fantasy, everything, and stand-up comedy at the 10,000 laughs comedy festival. Yeager bombs in hand. My friends will be all, we'll all be drinking the egg or bombs. We sure will. I don't know.

Not before the show. It'll be David's idea. Like always. It's literally never been my idea. We go to the bar and get us to Yeager bombs. So I don't have to go get another one. You remember that? Yeah.

Cause I've already had five. After a comedy, after a a live afp we did at adam's comedy festival uh david and i had a serious talk about not drinking before live afps anymore and it's something i'll be yeah i can't do it anymore oh i remember that i remember that one for sure that was that was a doozy well that makes one of us we won't be it was fantastic it just you can only hear it if you're a patron though it was excellent it was excellent and there's a reason for that yeah yeah you know nothing wrong with tightening it up we're getting older you know what i mean no absolutely that was that was

the last probably probably the last like gnarly buck one where it's like okay all right all right i remember well we're tightening it up wasn't that the last one i ended up was it the last live show we did that was the outdoor that was the last one i ended up was it the last live show that was the last one you're talking about oh shit okay all right um yeah cookies in the oven it was hot one before that i cried at yeah we can bark so yeah we we we did indeed come see us at uh either in dc or the 10 000 last comedy festival Festival. Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden. Listen to All Fantasy Everything. And Make Way for our topic today, which is

airports. We're drafting airports. Adam, this was your idea, right? This was your suggestion? It was. It came via our friend Karen Wachtel, but the way I understood it was not necessarily that it's airports and we're going to sit here and be like, fucking DFW

or like no this is the experience of air travel which I understand you know a lot of people kind of hate it and it's certainly a comedy trope but I think we should draft the parts of it we all travel a lot that we actually enjoy that are

nice parts about air travel so I love it yeah i love every part of it except for i hate flying but stay in stuff oh that flying yeah no i'm just saying i'm just no no i i won't say any pics i just i this was i was stoked about this because i'm like man i can go down to the tiniest little details on this shit i love every part about karen's got great ideas she's such a good loyal afe. And I think everybody hates on this shit. Let's be positive. Let's talk about the good parts of travel.

Like that we get to do, we're lucky enough to do all the time. Are you saying that Karen wrote your list? No, I said, listen. It sounded like maybe... The reason I'm getting out of comedy is because Karen's been writing all of my shit. And she says she can't do it anymore

because she has a full-time fucking job. And now I got to stop. She's like, I don't even have any kids. I'm guessing. Karen's writing the whole shit. No, she comes and hangs out and observes and sees what my boys do. And then she writes me bits. Well, we love Karen. We the whole shit. She comes and hangs out and observes and sees what my boys do and then she writes me bits.

Well, we love Karen. We love this topic. We love airports. And we're going to get in to the order of that draft right this very moment. The way we determine the ad order is through the ad order. The way we determine the ad order is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors

played between the three of you and we throw on dang. I mean shoot. Here we go. I liked that a lot. I missed it at first. I was like what? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Ooh, what a rollicking game. David wins throwing a paper against two scissors.

David is the winner of rock, paper, scissors. It is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft before you do that I will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that that's a great question I took my nephews to the arcade the other day and you know when you get the tickets the out of skeeball and all that you get the tickets and you have just

giant long string of tickets and you have to fold them up to bring them up to the person to weigh them or whatever I don't like folding them singly so i now i'll take like three or four but maybe even five and i'll like go i'll leave a line of like five and then fold it over you know when you have like a hundred of them so you fold like five down and then you just fold it the other way sort of like an accordion kind of five at a time so you

still have like a thick kind of band of tickets that you can bring up and it's not you know it's not like squinched into like one little tiny thing and then you bring them up and they weigh them anyways so there's really no reason to fold them but i do it because it makes me feel like i'm professional with my tickets and it was fun basically what it means if you pick fourth in the first round you pick first in the second round now david with that in mind what will the order of today's draft be i gotta go first because there's one clear pick there is so david shout out david sean adam caton holland ian carmell hot corner ian carmell hot corner do you guys know sinbad's real name is david really just something to think on what's his

last name who Who fucking cares? You could be Sinbad Bori by that logic. Yeah, that's where I'm going with this. No, his last name is Adkins. I'm thinking of doing an act as sort of an even more positive, even more clean comedian named Sin Good. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's another thing just to sort of cook on. Even wilder shirts.

Yeah. Even more silk, even silkier part of my ignorance here but did i just realize something that maybe isn't everybody are new sin and bad or is is that a was sin bad a real person the sailor what is it is it a made-up thing because it's like sin sins are bad sin bad is your name biblical right sin bad sin bad's in the bible i don't know that i don't know that he's a bit but maybe you're i think you're the It's like sin, sins are bad. Sinbad is your name? Biblical, right? Sinbad's in the Bible. I don't know that he's a biblical. Maybe. I think you're the smartest person here. Yeah, but I'm a religious, so I don't know about that.

Yeah. Sinbad the Sailor is an ancient story of a Middle Eastern origin. And so is the Bible. He's the most remarkable extraordinary fellow sin bad the sailor you guys remember that no it's a relatively late edition i don't to the one thousand and one nights so arabia the arabian nights which is a he's not in the 14th century yeah not in the bible not in the bible no not in the bible you see what i'm saying like sin is sin and then bad

is that was the name made up because like sin i understand what you're saying okay thank you i appreciate it monster monster cody scott in the building i don't think i haven't read it i i always just assumed it was like a middle eastern name i did too i'm trying to think of another because what you're talking about is english. I know. And I think it's like the same in all the languages. Like, I don't think English people invented the name. Yeah. I don't think English people.

Okay. All right. Made it up. Well, we're going to get to the bottom of it during this short break, right before David makes his first pick. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35.

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ever existed, except of course for the Grawlix Saves the World. The Grawlix Saves the World. Those are the two. Those are the two podcasts. Do you ever say GSW? We say GSTW all the time. All the fucking time I'm walking around saying that. Oh, you put the T in. Bad boys, put the T in.

Yeah, we're big into the gets overlooked in acronyms. Not by us. It really does. Yeah. It really does. We're nothing without that the. That the made me. Those are the two podcasts.

And this is the first pick in the airports. And it is airports, right? Just to be clear. I know we're talking about air travel, but it's airport specific. Is that right? Yeah, that's right. Going on in the airport. And it is airports, right? Just to be clear. I know we're talking about air travel, but it's airport specific. Is that right? Yeah, that's right. What's going on in the airport?

Yeah. I think we see which way it goes. I think it's air travel. I think it's air travel and I think it's the experience of it. But are we talking mid-air? Because if we're talking mid-air, now all of us are,

and if we're talking mid-air, all of a sudden it's a different draft. It's a different story. Once again, I didn't. Karen Wachtell ghost writes everything I fucking do. But as I understood it, it's like the experience of traveling in air.

Your day on a plane. Going to the airport, getting on the plane, landing in another airport. Do you know why we overstood it that way? It's because your boy, Adam Katenholland, sent in a text. I quote, airports. Do you know why we, do you know why we overstood it that way is because your boy, Adam, Kate and Holland sent in a text. I quote airports.

So that's why. Listen, I'm a guest on this podcast. I've already spoken out of turn four or five times. You guys want pure airports. I got, I got lists over here

for days that Karen wrote me. I'm ready to do any of this. I'm all about expanding this shit. I say we give it an airport. Airport. See what happens. See what happens. I'm so fucked. The silken shirt is crispy. about expanding this shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no time nothing is better than that nothing has saved me more time nothing makes me feel more like a baller and i've had chicken and caviar at the same time and will again and will again

in a week i made the call i fucking yes i love that too i uh man i love it it's the like at dia especially i just i'm so cocky. You do clear or you do TSA pre at DIA? I do clear, baby. Yeah, I'm surprised we've never seen each other there. If we do, we'll chest bump. I'm all about that clear. I'm a clear boy.

You're a clear boy too? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. I'm walking in there with the swagger of a young ball player. I'm walking like Ja Morant. I hit the gritty through clear. I feel so good. That shit is like, what?

What's the difference between pre and clear? Well, clear is the one where they just look at your eyes and you get clear. You even get bumped to the front of the TSA pre line. I like to think there's no scanner involved. It's just like some hardened criminal looking at your eyes. He's good. He's fucking good.

He's made of the right stuff. Look me in the eyes. Do you do the eyes? I didn't trust. I didn't want them scanning my retinas. I'm still fingerprint. They don't like me because I'm old school. I'm finger as well.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I do the eyes. That feels so sci-fi. I'm not cool with it. Man, if i'm feeling if i'm feeling extra cocky i don't even take off the headphones yeah point me over there i know what's happening somebody will walk you up yeah yeah security gonna be like they're cool yeah

he's when you're right it's like he's with me why do i have to take my headphones off going through security i hate that shit they always make you take them out. Why? Because they're people. Yeah. They don't treat me like one. I don't. I mean, to look at my face, you don't need my headphones. I wouldn't know.

I'm over in the clear line. Clear is kind of like a nice preview of what it's going to be like when we all have dementia. They just come and grab you and they walk you through the thing and they just point you to another guy and he takes you through the security and they just like point you to another guy and he takes you through the security and you're like thank you sir and you just put your bag right on through that's what it's yeah yeah they yell at you not to take your shoes off here it's great the one thing that makes me a little where i'm like what is going on here is like how hard they sell it you ever go to the airport and they're like you clear you clear you clear where i'm like oh yeah they're pitching why are they pitching so hard i

bet you they get fat commission i think it's like people flipping credit like trying to get you to sign up for credit cards you know yeah but is there gonna be is that maybe we are on a list but maybe it's maybe it's a good list maybe it's a good list i am i whatever man this shit's going to hell anyways put me on a list i don't give a shit that's true i fucking love i love being clear dude it's great i didn't get i didn't get tsa pre-check or clear but especially tsa pre-check i didn't do it for the longest time and if anyone out there if you fly more than once a year go do tsa pre-check it's it's you don't take your shoes off you don't have to take your laptop out

of your bag i should do it fucking amazing i don't have it i should do it it's so much easier it's wild really all right yeah oh my god yeah all right yeah it's it's just it changes and i've heard i've never done it before but i guess clear is it like some arenas and stadiums too they are right baseball park like you go to coors Field in Denver, you can go through the clear line. There are a lot of baseball stadiums that have it. I think the NBA is picking it up too. Well, I feel like a dickhead because last time I went to Coors, I

didn't even know, man. Dog, show them your retinas at Coors Field. They want to see them. I didn't even know. You're going to have to take out your snake eyes eye contact lenses. That's part of it which i know you wear i know you wear those to rocky yeah you have to go through a metal detector and all that still yeah you still have to go through so what they do is they take you to the front of the line you still have to go through the tsa's

rigmarole because i mean but man when that shit no shoes when you're coming down that escalator and you see that line serpentine in you realize that you get to cut that bitch. Yeah. Denver's is the buckest too. It's the worst. Yeah. Sometimes you get there and they're like, it's,

I was there one time. It was outside. I didn't even know. It's fucking awful. Possible. So clear cuts right through that shit. Yeah. It was quicker than you think it's going to be,

but it's still like an ad, like a, at least 40 minutes or something that time. It's like, it's crazy. But yeah. So yeah, that was the first. As soon as we picked it, I was like, I got to figure out how to win rock, paper, scissors.

Because that is the best thing about the airport to me. Well, it's good news for Sean because I do believe he has the number one pick still here on the board. David, you went first. Sean, it's time for your first pick. To no one's surprise, I'm going to pick Seat at the Airport Bar. Yeah. We all knew this, Sean.

It all changed as soon as I wasn't like... Clear, brown. He doesn't care what the color of the liquor is. Yeah, TSA, Red Bull, and Jägermeister, please. That's what I would like. I don't know. As soon as I realized, because I was so, I feel like I harp on this, but I was so broke all the time that it wasn't an option. And now if I get there and I'm like, I want to sit and have X amount, I can do that.

And it's fun. It makes the experience, it makes it an experience for me. Because for me, going to the airport and all of this getting to travel is still extremely fun i still realize how lucky i am that i get to do it and it's not lost on me almost ever i i really honestly try to be happy and grateful every time i get to do it but you know a nice little drink at the airport bar definitely helps set the tone for the trip it is always an honor and a privilege having a drink at an airport bar i love it so it's like it's like it's like meeting a charming old war veteran it's just like it's just like oh my god thank you so much it's just so nice didn't i not going crazy yeah maybe one or two not to say i don't want to get into other stuff too much but it's there's nothing dicey about those bars

which is you can be completely at ease there's nothing nothing's going wrong you know so big and that's all i'll say on it because i might i don't want to dive too much sometimes there's like i mean we can talk about the full experience sometimes there's like a game are you going to pick something else from airport bars no but i don I don't want to accidentally get into it. Sometimes there's like a game on in a sport you normally wouldn't give a fuck about. And that's all. You're like, are we watching Big League Lacrosse at the airport bar? Is that what's going on right now?

No, we're watching Little League Lacrosse. Yeah. Am I going to drink a very tall Widmer Hefeweizen and watch Big League Lacrosse? It is always like some weird beers and shit that you would never have at home oh never sure yeah hefeweizen for sure with an orange slice in it you're like no thanks yeah yeah and you're like is this how they do it in salt lake city well you know i think the cliche is you know that it's like everyone's got a story because everyone's going somewhere at an airport bar but i think that that takes away the sad bastards

there's not like the bar rats who are making who make it miserable because they're just like terrible people who only hang out at that bar these are all people who are in in flux and it's more interesting that way nobody's a regular at the very least they can they're not on a greyhound bus holy shit what if you're a regular at an airport bar if that would be insane if you saw somebody walk up and they were i don't know they just did some regular shit just sat down and got a drink slid to him i mean that'd be just got off just got off of work yeah came to the airport real quick they got clear like without a flight this mother went through security to go to this

bar our friend our friend works at the airport bar in denver our friend sam you guys have met her um i think she still works there. Oh, yeah. But that would be kind of a trip because then you'd probably go, I would. Maybe. Well, sometimes I bet I would just go across the airport to some other random bar and have a drink or something before I head home. I could see that if I worked at the airport. There's probably dudes who fly, dudes of every gender, who fly all the time, who are regulars

at airport bars yeah you're probably right so it does get sad it does get sad burbank it does get sad yeah i have the ones i go to for sure denver is a big one business traveler is that whole air is sad you're right about that like you're fucking right about just the whole vibe on business traveler is kind of a bummer which i guess we're business travelers yeah i mean in denver they're for for real there's places because that's the like the common layover place for me and most people i guess but there's places that i specifically go to there's this mexican restaurant that has a pancake flight that is crazy that i go to let's not say pics no no but i'm saying like i'll go anyway i'll go there and and have a couple but I seek it out it's upstairs it's out of the way

like a flight of pancakes and it's fun because it's an airport and it's called a flight so it's even more fun but yes anyway does that mean you're just going up there getting jamos and pancakes before you get on a plane

pretty cool yeah it's happened four or five times now Going up there getting Jamos and pancakes before you get on a plane? Pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. It's happened four or five times now. Jamos and pancakes hang out with the Broadway Jesus, dude. He'll never go anywhere without Jamos and pancakes. Jamos and pancakes?

Yeah, man. That sounds like a fun guy. Jamos and pancakes? Jamos and pancakes? Turning along. I believe you already met my lawyer Jameson Pancakes. Oh, he introduced himself. He's been here for two hours. You met my lawyer Jameson Pancakes? Yeah, I did.

You can have custody. I didn't know what I was thinking. You win. Jameson Pancakes, char my pants up. The man who has custody of the next pick is Adam Caden Holland Okay this I want to I want to kind of flaunt some shit with this pick And let you know That I've been around the world

So I'm drafting number one An airport shower Have you ever been I've only done it internationally I've done it in like the Singapore airport And I think somewhere in Europe I can't even remember it's an airport shower and it's futuristic and clean and i always feel fucking gross when i'm flying for especially for a long time and you go there and you pay five ten bucks and you just take a fucking shower and get freshened up and then you go on your way

and it's like something out of the future. It's insane. That sounds amazing. A, that's an incredible flex. Because it's not the same when you do it at a truck stop. No, that's a different shower. It's hard to flex at a truck stop. It's really hard to pull off any kind of a flex at a truck stop. So here's my first question. Yeah. Is there a dispenser like a hotel?

Or do you use your own toiletries? There's dispensers, but you can also bring your own toiletries if you want. Okay. I just remember I've only done it twice and one was in Singapore airport and it was like everything was white and gleaming and it was beautiful and pristine. At no part did I feel like this is sketchy. I felt like, oh, why doesn't everybody fucking do this? That's the one to do it in did i feel like this is sketchy i felt like oh why doesn't everybody fucking do this like that's the one to do it and i feel like yeah poor airport also whenever i've left the country even just to go to canada are our airports trash everybody says

they are every other country's airports that i've been to are like way way better than like our standard like our airports are kind of dingy sometimes yeah is it because ours are older i landed at the london city airport which is not heathrow it's the other one when i was flying back from france uh it's called london city so it's the other one i think there's three yeah okay so i landed at london city and i flew out of nice and neither one of those were anything special but he throws beautiful he throws very nice i thought the nice airport was special i thought it was really nice it's little it's cute it is little le petit yeah we oh you let me say poopy poopy listen some some american airports are better than other that new la guardia, they're crushing it in New York. FSD.

FSD in Sioux Falls, seven terminals, man. And from what I've seen in my few travels abroad, I don't see why we couldn't be doing that with our newer, better, trend-setting American airports. Here we go. That's the kind of talk we need in this country. I'm running for Congress, and I'm announcing it on AFE. I would not be on AFV. I

would not be shocked if you were at one point a congressman. Well, thanks, Ian. That's very nice of you. As the only AFV member who could legally vote for you, you have my vote. Fuck yeah, David. Thank you. But I'm running for congressman of LA.

I was also going to say, on the back end, I need some tax help fuck you i got you anyway that's my first pick because it's probably the coolest thing i've ever done at an airport and i really i really think it's a valuable service so i'm taking that airport shower out that's amazing that's great that's great i hope to one day take one and i thought i would have thought you would have taken one man you you seem like you seem like a jet setter, buddy. That's a very flattering thing to say. I have not yet taken one.

I haven't taken a shower in a week. Oh, jeez. Yeah. Yeah, he's hurting. No, I'm a two-a-day. I'm a two-a-day guy. Don't worry about karma. No, he drank up the water bill money.

I drank it up. There's a hole in daddy's arm where the Watermill money goes. It's time for my first pick. And with my first pick, I'm taking something. Listen, I got to get my Adam Cain Holland on. It's something where I hope you, and when I say you, it's a general you, not anyone gathered here. I hope you've had the pleasure because i've had the pleasure and if you haven't had the pleasure figure out a way to have the pleasure because i'm taking the vip lounge with my number one damn yeah that was on yeah that

was gonna be my next one that shit's great pretty rad that is a different world that only the the notion that air travel can be that dignified well what is the vip maybe i haven't what is the vip is it just like is it like the delta lounge or whatever is there like delta lounge okay club so just like one of the united club or whatever like one of those well just that you can be treated you can be treated like a person that they can there can be small bowls of snacks they can just leave food out. Free food out. Here's the wifi code.

Here's the newspaper, right? Yeah. And you're like, you're just giving it to me. Nobody's screaming. Nobody's screaming at you. Cause you have the nerve to buy a ticket on their airline.

You know what I mean? It's not like that vibe. You're not going to butt fuck me for the price of a Sprite, like Hudson news. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Hudson news was not going to make the list.

I'm just... That's my second biggest Hudson News. I love Hudson News. Get butt fucked on a Sprite. Miss me with that trail mix, dude. How dare you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry. Miss me with your products.

With your products. Whoa. I'm sorry. I went nuts. I didn't. All right. How do you get in the vip because i've only been in there with doug how do you get in the vip if you're gonna ask if you're gonna ask yeah it's my first day i'm out here i'm a rookie as a delta platinum member it's thank you not on me it's in me i don't really know how to tell you it's just and now communicating with david

what if i get all my tickets off excuse me excuse me excuse me excuse me communicating with david as a fellow delta platinum member exactly i can just echo that sentiment i can just echo that also we both uh american express sky miles members oh wow damn yeah it's right there and the number's not on the front of the card so don't get any don't get a bright idea it's metal no big screen capped i can see them imprinted through the back no the fucking yeah that thing is like it whenever you go because i'm i'm new to it so whenever i go up there i and then i see people in the airport like later who were up there i always try to like pretend like we have some kind of bond they don't

they don't respond but yeah i mean i'm always trying to dress in such a way where they're like trying to guess who i am and what i'm doing up there who you tell him right there in rainbow crocs they don't know what the fuck i do yeah it's like i'm wearing memphis grizzlies throwback shorts with no pockets that's john moran yeah that fucking jamaeran is he doing the gritty uh sean there are multiple ways you can get in one is through flying enough that you get like platinum status on an airline just through frequent flyer miles yeah or through one of those sky miles credit cards on numerous airlines you can also buy day passes to them if you're like shit i'm at the airport like four hours early and i have an important call let me pay 40 bucks or whatever the amount is probably six thousand

dollars uh to get i didn't know that's how i didn't know you could get uh yeah i mean it ain't worth it to me to do that but i mean it's you i mean it is kind of because it's you drink for free it's free booze i spoke you can make it worth it it's a nifty little point depending on the lounge you go in there there's hot breakfast like they have like a beautiful breakfast buffet with a lot of different foods and stuff like that the one in new york is great yeah it's pretty it's pretty great i've been in a couple times yeah the one in la has like an outdoor area where you can just go hang out and watch the planes it's fucking beautiful can i bust down sigs out there bro you might be able to blast

out a big i don't know that's if you've got somewhere i can go blast out a sig bro yeah it's like blasting with the girlies all different game my friend i think i saw sean jordan ripping butts in the u.s airways lounge yeah he's not bad why doesn't that go to burbank because they still get a sick busting spot bro if you don't want to pay you could also join the military they have one oh that's true that's the smart cheat code right there is joining the military yeah yeah i joined the i joined the corps for the uso i joined the army for pre-boarding i got that pre-board i just i really don't like to wait to get on place i'm on first brokies sorry i'm in the back because i'm on the military wedge but i'm on first hey who's on first you pal uh so the vip lounge is my first pick and again i i like it's just so nice it's just so it and

it like makes me mad about the way they treat you outside of it where i'm like okay people are capable of like being calm and reasonable and rational yeah it just only happens in the air for some reason like let's let's bring that energy everywhere maybe the whole airport can be a vip land i know tsa is getting into fucking knife fights over shampoo up in the delta lounge it's like it could be classy it could be it could be nice here we could there's a different way to do this yeah especially as somebody who's like been in bed on those knife fights and been into the delta lounge yeah like i've just because i've flown i've flown like trash for years oh you know yeah have i ever caught a flight where i didn't

have enough money to check a bag so i wore all my clothes yeah on spirit airlines yeah coming to denver one time uh-huh likehuh. So I've been there. It feels like you're outside. Yeah. It's like nuts. I remember one time I was connecting and I was at layover and I got my board off the plane.

It was a Frontier flight. And they wouldn't let me bring it on the next flight. And I had already gotten through with it on a Frontier flight. And she had me check it. She was going to make me pay for it. And I didn't have any money to pay for it. So I went and I snapped. I focused it gotten through with it on a frontier flight and she had me check it she was gonna make me pay for it and I didn't have any money to pay for it so I went and I snapped I focused it I broke it I had another board waiting for me at home and I came back and I was like is this good can I fit it in the compartment now or whatever and she the look on her face was she was

just like oh honey did you go break that because of me and I go yeah I did and it was spiteful and I feel bad about it but I kind of fucking love that i wish i'd seen that happen that was yeah that was dark that's comedy stores because when you get off the tram and i went and i took it out there and i snapped it and it echoed so loud holy shit it probably didn't sound amazing you know probably sounded scary but and then i just brought it back and i looked so pissed off and yeah i don't know why i started talking about that i just kind of want to because it's a cool story that's related to what we're talking about excellent time for my second pick

with my second pick I'm going to take something that is a cousin of drinking at the airport bar which is eating insane food at insane hours yes the pancake flight I had the pancake flight at about 9pm eating a pancake flight at 9pm

eating a a crab louis I had the pancake flight at about 9 p.m. Eating a pancake flight at 9 p.m. Eating a Crab Louie at just 7 in the morning. You know what I mean? I mean, early. I was going somewhere, and I met up with, he's been on the podcast, one Brent Gill. I bet you guys ate the

weirdest fucking shit together at the airport. I didn't. It was like 11 a.m. And he was like, or no, it was when we were at our destination, but it was early in the morning. He's like, oh, I can't eat anything. I just ate at Papa Do's at the Houston airport. Yeah. Papa Do's breakfast.

You didn't think I had breakfast. There's like insane. Exactly. It's like, oh the the panda express here has a breakfast menu yeah yeah it's a little more eggs in it than normal like all right i guess it's breakfast you're gonna try you're gonna try that yeah definitely yeah man just weird just weird stuff from weird restaurants you would never eat because you can excuse it all because who's gonna you know who's gonna get on your shit about it's like you're at the airport you gotta eat you know eat what you want there's a general like there i don't think i'm saying a pick because i think this is something that hangs over all of our picks here including this one but it is there is a general sense of lawlessness at the airport yeah Fucking A. Absolutely. Where society hasn't bought a ticket,

so it can't get in. It's self-governing in there. Of course it is. Even with drinking, you see guys at the gate finishing up their beer and shit. They don't care where you go with that thing. You can walk around,

and it's like New Orleans or some shit. Yeah. You wouldn't even think we'd be finishing a beer like that either, where it's a guy with a copy of the London Financial Times and a daughter, and's like slamming a fucking like tall boy right next to the gate it's crazy every time i get like i get on sometimes when i'm a little tossed i want to lean after i get through i want to lean back and be like so i guess you do let drunk people

on the plane and then just like run it'd be so funny to do because i can play it pretty cool like all that i'm pretty good at it, unfortunately. You are good at it. I just want to be like, no, I didn't have an issue. I've seen pretty wasted people get on planes. I have too. I was going to say, I think that sense of lawlessness just creates irrational thinking. You'll be like, okay, I just ate breakfast.

Now I'm at the airport. I don't know when I'm going to eat again. But you do. It's an hour flight and you'll land and you'll have food have food in three hours but you're like i should buy a sandwich for the fucking airplane like you just load it up like you're never gonna see a place to get food again and you just eat at an airport i love that pic that's a that was that's a good sure or or or you're willing to compromise your morals and pay 90 975 for for a fucking Sprite. Right. Yeah. And then...

Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Sean. Please. I was going to say you go dump out two-thirds of that Sprite and then fill it with whatever. Anyway. Pro-medicine syrup. But that's... The airport is where I'm like, John Elway's grill, huh? Oh, yeah. Today is where I eat at John Elway's grill.

Elway's Steakhouse. They do breakfast at the airport, not at the fucking brick and mortar. I'll tell you that. Yeah. Really? Yep. I've told you guys this, but my boyfriend, whenever he's at the Elway's in Denver, he walks up to whoever the host is, and he'll just walk up and be like, excuse me, is Mr. Elway in the building?

It just makes me laugh every time I think about it. Just some host being like no he's not at the always at the airport right now what if he was what if he was like what if he was one time he's just back there with a glass of scotch it's like hey ha frat also it's bullshit because shanahan is at the airport i'd love to see elway tossing balls to the kids on concourse c that'd be so fucking cool At the airport. I'd love to see Elway tossing balls to the kids on Concourse C. That'd be so fucking cool.

Oh, yeah. Come on, you little scamp. Wouldn't that be dope if he, you know, he flies sometimes. Just go to Elway's like four hours early and just be like, Mr. Elway's in the building right now. Like whenever they see people, just to let you know. They should have to fly a certain flag. At half mass, it's weird. It's oddly funereal. Oh, it's somber. Oh, geez. Elway have to fly a certain flag. At half-mast, it's weird. It's oddly funereal.

Oh, it's somber. Oh, geez. Always. Always. He's firing people so loudly. He's just so mad at the service. He just comes in and executes everybody's career. Yeah, they get nervous when Elway comes in.

Paxton Lynch is in there working the fryer later. Tommy Maddox greeting everybody with his beautiful UCLA face. Ian Gold is just hanging out. Are we still doing it? Yeah, I like it. Adam, time for your second pick. You guys are going to hate this, but I don't even give a shit.

I'm taking it through the gate, through the jetway, onto the plane, which is still at the airport okay i think we're still hasn't taken off but they they close the door everyone's on board and you realize you've got an empty seat next to you oh yeah you got an empty fucking seat next to you airport experience that's not in the air the air yet, but they closed that fucking door, and you're like, I made it. That is Hall of Fame

because you almost don't want to get your hopes up. You're like, no way. Standby fuckers keep coming down. They keep letting more on. You're like, come on, stop letting fuckers on. I don't put anything in the seat. I don't even act like it's there until that door shuts. I'm like, boy. And this is this is

soccer for fun adam kate and holland making this pick now let me i don't even know what that means let me just let me just tell you let me just tell you eating like he's in an airport for most of his life oh yeah sure soccer for fun so it's healthy guy healthy guy i'm just telling i'm just saying like this is this is an amazing pick for people of any body size if you're a if you're a thicker snicker not having anyone sit next to you oh buddy dude it's like you hit the lottery at a dick sucking contest yeah like that's exactly what it's like it's like the most incredible it's so it feels so good yeah even now even now that i'm a little slimmer it feels so fucking good you're just like it's amazing you you won the plane because everyone up in first class paid for

that shit you didn't and it's like it feels like it sets your day up yeah like well now i could do anything when i landed charlotte dude yeah my wife will ask how was my flight and if that happened i'm like it was fucking fantastic i shared a moment with the person next to me we were like hey you know what let's put the tray down both our drinks can go on this tray we don't need to do this shit you put your bag in the seat i'll put my bag in the middle seat. We'll both have full fucking leg room. You and I in this row of three, we won today. We won today. You don't have to know that I'm watching Encanto for the fourth time

because you can't see what I'm looking at. Yep. Yeah. Oh, that's such a good one, man. What a fucking buttery little pleasure that is. It's so nice. Oh, great pick. Yeah, that's a hot one. little pleasure that is. It's so nice. Oh, great pick. Yeah, that's a hot one.

Glad you guys agree. And I'm glad you've heard about how I play indoor soccer on Wednesdays, Ian. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I keep an eye on what's going on. Kathleen Turner Overdrive. Shout out to my team, the Kathleen Turner Overdrive.

We're fucking up. That's an amazing name. High Fidelity Playboy. That's your team name? Yeah. Kathleen Turner Overdrive? KTO. We fuck it up.

Unless we play that Mexican team that's really good and they fuck us up consistently. But you know how it goes. I'll buy that. You suck at football. That checks out, yeah. It's the beautiful game, my friends.

I don't need to explain it to you. No, please. Please. We're fluent in it. Sean helped pioneer the talkie-talkie technique in Brazil. No shit. I did. And we don't need to talkie-talkie about it any more than that i feel like moving on sean it's time for

your second pick uh since adam did touch on the actual physical airplane i will do the same thing my favorite thing about an airport is walking off the plane into whatever airport you landed at i really enjoy that feeling looking around that fun surprise even if you've been there a few times like there's the ones you hit like sfo and denver and all that but sometimes you land in raleigh or whatever and you're like oh look at this or like madison yeah or or bismarck or some shit or like tallahassee and you're like look at and they're all little you can tell it's an airport um uh rich uh, rich, rich, Richmond, Virginia. And I don't want to drag Omaha through the mud, but man, their airport at that airport.

Yeah. When you land at that airport, you're just like, fuck this. It's like you're in a shoe box, dude. That airport ain't dank at all. No good. No, man. I don't like landing there. Epley airfield.

You're on blast. Yeah. I don't like Epley too much, man, but pretty much anywhere else. I swear to God, Omaha stands out, but almost anywhere else you're just like oh look at this you like the whatever the mascot is is greeting you you know there's some i don't know lax you look at like the big fast and the furious logo that's like on the escalator on the way down or something where they're like welcome to la they want you to think the whole city's fast and the furious i just think it's fun uh that feeling of excitement you just traveled you're there you did it you landed there's the airport you know

like your trip is just starting yeah you never really know how to get out i guess i'll speak for myself personally but i'm never stressed about it i'm never even even when i landed home i'm never like dying to get out of the airport but when it's like a when you land at your destination whatever city is not home i just kind of find the exit i let everybody else who's in a mad dash get there and then i just take my time and walk around a little bit i think it's fun so that great that's a great pick uh this is a little awkward now uh all fantasy everything is brought to you of course by omaha if you're if you're if you're looking for anything from a broadway musical to a baseball game to a big name performer, whether you want to mingle with locals at a farmer's market or kick back under the stars at an outdoor concert,

Omaha, Nebraska should be the top of your list. And of course, the only way to get to Omaha is by flying into Epley Airfield in Omaha, Nebraska. Omaha is going on me a little bit. I used to not like Omaha either. Excuse me, I'm in the middle of an ad read it's your gateway to big entertainment or small town fun you're not going to want to leave

Epley Airfield when you land but we suggest you do surprised you remember the feeling of being in the middle of an ad read that's been a while I'll do an ad read. I like doing them. Talk to me an ad read.

No, I had to be a dick. It's what we're doing. Marissa, who's sponsoring this episode? Do we know? Not offhand. Let me check. Give me like 20 seconds. No, I'm good.

No, no. See, I knew this was going to happen. I'll do a fucking ad read. I like doing them. I'll do a fucking ad read. I'll sell the fuck out of it. Your ad reads just came up with my friend where he was like, I had some weed gummies. He's like, oh, is that what your boy takes?

And I was like, what? And he was like, your boy Sean, he's always talking about taking edibles on the podcast. I was like, we don't talk work in this house. This week, the advertisers are trade coffee and feel. So coffee and then like CBD medication. Those are the animals I'm always screaming about. Okay. Time to wake up.

And there's nothing that helps me wake up better than a hot cup or a cooled down glass of trade coffee. It's like a rooster that you can make in your own kitchen. If you don't drink trade coffee, I'll fucking come to your house and I'll fucking lock the door and set it on fire. Now, trade coffee is actually a company that will send you different coffees from around the country. Oh, yeah. So they just send you different coffees from around the country. So they just send you different coffees from different countries. They're getting free ads, though.

Do they have an Omaha blend? Do they have a fucking Omaha blend they can send out? Hey, Adam, fuck Omaha. Unless we're going to go do a show there ever, then I'm like, I love it. I'm all right with Omaha, dude. I'm all right with Omaha, but not as all right as I'd be if I took a feels CBD. Got me.

Which would make me generally more all right with anything. Whether you're looking for a Broadway musical or a baseball game, dude. Feels CBD products. Puts me in the right mood to be a dude I can still do ad rates man it's really good what's that cologne do puts you in the mood to be a dude my friend that's what polo cologne does for you uh David time for your second and third picks as it is a serpentine giraffe as it is all right uh my second pick is going to be not just people watching but specifically writing people's backstories oh yeah you know what i mean where you're just like wow it's crazy that that vacuum salesman

is married to that hand model uh-huh yeah and they're sure and their kid is struggling at reading like i give everybody a whole life solely based on what they look like and it's like you don't get as long of people watching in other places that you do at the airport because people are just at the gate forever well and we all travel solo a lot i don't think a lot of people unless you're like do i guess doing something similar to this you're usually going to be with your family or whatever or friends or whatever but a lot of times we're all traveling solo so you have that time just to sit there and look and just completely make it up what they're doing that's a good point we all travel alone you're really in your thoughts in your own head. I love that you write backstories of people.

Oh, it's like gets me through. I love it. It's like, especially if I show up early or something. Yeah, I just like, because there's whole families. And sometimes if you're paying attention, not being a creep, you can kind of see some of the family dynamics play out, you know, where it's like, oh, dad's a dick huh yeah yeah yeah you just see dad cock his head back and look over at mom and mom's like reading a book or something constructive and dad's not doing shit and then the kid's like really causing some ruckus

somewhere yeah yeah yeah and you're like and then like the teen son's on pills and you're like oh i don't know if they're addressing this it's just fun it's just fun i see a lot of people in airports that i pretend are rappers one time i saw blue face in an airport you did not where i la lax i told you about it right after it happened when it was it oh i don't remember it was it were we out were we out i think i remember that story you mean was it before after pandemic no i mean like were we out were we out somewhere enjoying you know drinks or something i mean was it like something where i would i mean i don't remember the specific i was just like hey last time i saw the flight i saw blue face the point is i love people watching at the airport it's very fun to make up story because also everybody's in this weird like

somebody had a tweet years ago where they were like shout out to all the girls who are airport celebrities everybody's in that weird mode where they like they're like weirdly dressed up and people like it's like everybody's kind of peacocking you know what i mean yeah some people go high some people go low comfort but but even that's like athletic wear. They know what they're doing. They're putting on a look. For sure. Yeah, yeah.

So it's just like always, yeah, you see dudes like peak a big chest, and it's just, I love it. I love making up backstories at the airport. No, I feel you, man. I love that. I love that for sure. Feels like we might be ready for our next pick. David Boyd, time for our next pick. David Boyd.

Time for your third pick. Silky smooth. All right. Now tell me if this makes sense, because it's a little different than my first pick, because that's like something you pay for. But I'm picking being pro at it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. love the right bag so you don't

have to check shit you know you're wearing crocs you know you're not like oh i have to take off my shoes you timed it out perfectly like like there's like a skill to like getting through an airport smoothly yeah i'm fucking pro with the pure efficiency of someone who knows what the fuck they're doing in an airport yes yes everything's my wallet and my phone are already out of my pockets my keys are in that front pocket of the backpack because that's where i keep them when i travel like you know what i mean like there's no there's no it's just lean you got a lean watching a butcher take apart like a like a cow or something like that it's just lean. You got to lean. It's like watching a butcher take apart like a cow or something like that. It's like amazing.

Like, oh, it can be done that fast. It becomes an art. I've walked, it's like, have you ever parallel parked so well you thought you wish somebody was there to have seen it? Well, I know Sean has. Every single time I'm in a car, David. Every single time. Adam, Adam. Every single time that I get behind the wheel of a car and there's a spot that I want to get in

that is physically possible of fitting that car, I'll get it in there better than 99% of the unpaid drivers in the whole world. Sean considers himself the top 1% of unpaid drivers in the world. I mean, I'm hearing you guys say that this is a thing that Sean brings up a lot. I know Sean well enough to know

he would bring this up a lot. So I could tell you that's totally- Hook me up to a lie detector test. Make it happen somehow. And hook me up and tell me I don't think that that's true. I believe you. No, I believe it. But we believe that you think it's true for sure.

You should have seen what I did today. I parallel parked with, no, I was going to say with a blindfold on. I don't want to be a liar. I parallel parked in a spot that there's no way that you would have thought I could fit into. Boom, boom. You know what you should do? You know how they have those cars that automatically parallel park, the computer does it now and they will just park for you.

They should have you park a car opposite that. Like when they made Kasparov play a computer in chess and it'll be, it'll be a big event. AFV can put it on and like, we're going to see for once and for all, whether you're better than the computer at parking this car. I would love

the challenge. I could barely talk right there. If there was a way to make that happen, I would be all over it. I've never wanted to prove something so bad. The car explodes. It self-detonates. It can't fucking take the humility. It drives the t it drives the ocean

if we could have a pair if we could have like oh sean versus the computer parallel parking you got to set this up i'd love to see this shit like when tony hawk had to put on all those little sensor balls on that jumpsuit to do the the 900 and for tony hawk's pro skater that's me but it's a car i got on your case because you made that claim and i was like i did so i didn't do it out of malice i did it out of all right let me actually let's see here let me actually be a very engaged passenger i only do what i have to do though that's what i'm saying so like if if it's like mellow driving or whatever i might you might think like oh this guy's kind of blowing it here and there but it's just because i don't need to be that on point all the time it's the efficiency it's the efficiency

bory's talking about if it's an if it's a be on point situation i'll be on point trust me when i say have you been in those kind of situations where you've had to flee or i've never been a getaway driver yeah the thing is he's not he's not paid to be a driver so yes i do think i outran the cops one time but i'm not sure i'm not sure if it happened or not there was lights behind me and i was doing you had to ask i was doing things where it's like i probably should have been pulled over and then the lights were behind me and then we got away but we didn't really have to do too much so who knows if they were actually like trying to pull me over or not all right well whether it's being a pro butcher a pro driver or a pro at the airport. It's a good fucking feeling. When you have...

My fucking... Dude, my segues tonight? They're very good. Yeah, they're dank, dude. Yeah, I like it. I like it. I'm fucking cooking, dude. It feels great.

Like, when you go... When you do finally go through security and you have, like, all the shit out of your pockets in, like, a front pocket on your backpack. So you don't even have to worry about that. You know, like, that kind of thing. It also makes every... Like, if everyone did that oh god oh it it feels like because i think it's because i don't drive obviously but like that shit gets on my nerves like traffic does yeah when people don't know how to navigate it i've seen i hate to bring it back to traffic

the zipper if people just zippered on the freeway, you know what I mean? Instead of whatever, trying to cut people off and slow down and shit. If people just took their shoes off and knew they had to do it, instead of just getting there and being like, oh, me too? Or like your belt. Or just, come on, man.

This can't be the first time you've all flown since 9-11. Some of you have to have flown since 9-11. The shoes got to come off still. Yeah, they're still coming off. Yeah, you know it. So get them ready. Unlace them at the very least.

And also, it's fine if the shoes come off. Maybe don't wear fucking Doc Martens. Yeah. Maybe take a shoe that comes off easy. Don't lace them to the top. Now we're arguing efficiency. Now we're arguing efficiency because I would say wear your heaviest shoe

so you don't got to put it in the fucking in the suitcase. That's true. So if you're rolling with boots like I do and wear them on stage a lot, I'm rocking those things.

We're TSA Prejet guys so we live in a different world. That's also true. I was not I was not speaking to our ilk. Just take your shoes off because no one's ever looked at me and been like, put your shoes back on if you want to come through security.

Just assume. Just take them off. It doesn't have to be an issue. Just do it. I'm very, very efficient like I think you all are, but I play fast and loose with my toiletries bag. I got shit in there way more than three ounces, and I'm like fucking, I'm calling your bluff. I'm calling your bluff. Pull the bag out, and I'll throw the toothpaste away if you're that big an asshole, but I'm calling your bluff. I got lotions, potions, and salts. I got drugs your bluff. Oh, yeah. I'm calling your bluff. Oh, yeah. Pull the bag out, and I'll throw the toothpaste away if you're that big an asshole.

Yeah. But I'm calling your bluff. I got lotions, potions, and salts. Yeah. I got drugs in there. Fucking. I think I've talked about this on the podcast before, so forgive me for repeating a story, but I once had a snow globe confiscated by the San Francisco TSA because it's more than

three ounces of water. That's awful. That's awful. That's like... Isn't that crazy? What's more fun and innocent than a snow globe? What am I, a fucking Batman villain? I'm going to burn down the plane with a snow globe? Like, what are we doing here?

Let me have it. How'd they catch it? They were like... Because I put it in my carry-on. He was showing them all. He's like, check it out. Showing them at the... Wait, what was it a snow globe of?

In my head, for some reason, it's San Francisco. It's the Golden Gate Bridge. It's the Golden Gate Bridge. It's silver glitter in there, so it looks like fog. I bought another one online. It's very charming. I made it on a plane a surprising amount of times with a screwdriver in my bag

because I used to take my boards apart with a Phillips screwdriver, like a big, full screwdriver. And for years, they just let it ride. And then one day, one of them was just like, you can't fly with this. And I'm like, I didn't think so, but it's just been in there. But for

like 10 years, they probably let me take this fucking screwdriver on the plane. I'm like, if I really wanted to get something done, a screwdriver is a good thing to have. I fly with a Katauma. Wow to have. I fly with a katana. Do you? Wow. Wow.

Yeah. And that's for Corden? That's like a work thing you have to? It's a work thing, yeah. Well, he's Corden's bodyguard. When they fly together, he goes, Ian, did you bring the katana? Well, British comedy, not a lot of people know this, is centered much more around Bushido than American comedy. And that's why the intermissions and such yeah that's the intermissions

why it's the more themed show hour you know than what we do here uh yes it's just a little differences um but yeah being a pro is fucking amazing that's such a good feeling at the airport and it's all over the place it's maybe having some snacks packed having a refillable water bottle yeah so you can refill at the airport and not spend fucking nine dollars at hudson news it can just hang off your bag too that's you don't even need to put just hang it off your bag and it's green and they count how much plastic you're saving with every refill it's fun yes you feel good there's a red light next to the filter thing and you're like well can't win them all did it take all of you

a while to figure out when those sensors were new? Do you remember that you put your water bottle in front of the sensor and it pours down at the water fountain? It took me a long time to figure out that's what those were. Maybe eight, nine years ago. Do you remember when those were new? Do you think they were urinals?

I'd always poop in them. You wash your baby in there. That's for washing babies. Every time I got arrested for pooping in one, I'd say, why'd you arrest me for pooping in that? And they'd say, it's a water refill station. I'd go, don't lie to me, cop. And then they'd say it again, and I'd be like,

I'm going to do my nickel. I did five years every time. Five years. Wait, David, you're not doing it with these water bottles, are you? Are you bringing your own water bottle? I feel like you tuned out when we were talking about this. Are you clogging up our oceans with plastic, David? Are you bringing your own water bottle? No feel like you tuned out when we were talking about this. Are you clogging up our oceans with plastic, David? Are you bringing

your own water bottle? No, sometimes, but not often. I lose water bottles a lot, so I hate fucking buying them. But I'm not buying water at the airport. I'm not like a sucker.

Okay. Just wait till you get on the plane. Get yourself a water. Or at the Sky Club. There you go. Sky Club? There you go. Platinum.

Fair enough. Platinum. Sean Jordan, time for your third pick. When I go to the airport, after I get through security, I like to walk around and be feeling myself. Can that count? Yeah, I think so. You pick jacking off.

No, not beating off. I just like to walk around and think I'm dope. And I do that. Every time I'm at the airport, I walk around and I enjoy what what i'm doing and i enjoy the fact that i get to do it and i start feeling myself and i love it i get in a great mood and i think i'm dope and i just i have a i have a blast just walking around thinking about how lucky i am i don't know if that if that counts i want to take that because i think you can i love just walking around the airport feeling myself i mean i do think there are only two airport boats it's like either a you feel really cool you listen to some or whatever you feel

really cool at the airport or b you feel like a dog shit piece of shit oh who is so thankful nobody knows what he did in tampa that week yeah yeah so you're either on the way out sober or hung over as fuck hating your life through the airport hung over air travel over the airport we all know how bad it is yet i've continued to do it and i'm always like go home go home it's one it's 1 a.m go home yeah and you're just like you know how you're gonna fucking feel the entire way across the entire country yet you keep doing this you dumb piece of shit you start getting those moments where you're like i have to be in the plane in six hours right yeah right not getting up to go

in it in the plane when i'm at someone's apartment because they said they have mushrooms yeah dude what am i what am i doing yeah yeah like yeah that shit is oh man and it's like you you always try to tell yourself like i'll sleep on the plane which fucking sucks i can't i can't do it guys this is a positive pod we got to veer out of this territory that's true that's right going to the airport feeling myself like david mentioned it earlier but like the the kit's always fresh like i always wear dope shoes now i try to like i look my version of dope when i'm at the airport and i think it's very fun and i like it because you're going somewhere cool to do something fun yeah you're feeling yourself it's that pre-trip vibe well even post-trip it's like i just kind of got to do something fun yeah you're feeling yourself it's that pre-trip vibe well

even post-trip it's like i just kind of got to do something fun like i just you know so i it's harder on the way home but i'd focus on that like i just did something dope and it you know lucky me and this isn't something i feel like i should complain about i um i try to keep the mental on point on the way home it It's tougher, but doable. Not me, man. I just walk around the airport stewing about perceived slights. Yeah. You and Brian Cook just walking around.

Just grumbling about the way people have slighted me all around the airport. It's kind of my mood. Yeah. Just like you're north of the wall all the time. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Oh, you wouldn't serve me at the Rick Bayless Frontier Grill? I'm the guy you wouldn't serve there?

I didn't even try, but I saw the look you gave me. You're not going to give me a fucking panini? Fuck you. Do you know who I think I am? Yeah. I could call Rick Bayless right now. Rick Anskip. If I call my agent.

Rick Anskip. I'll call up Bayless Bros. I'll call Jared jared bayless dude get everybody on the horn he just has a quiet life sorry yes yeah no he's not here don shula's surfing turf right next to always barn grill fucking fills up i know a coach i know a coach or two 30 years ago or so adam talk for your third pick uh david made me think of this on the fly but he was talking about people watching creating backstories i one of the greatest things about air travel is is seeing celebrities in the airport oh yeah oh yeah that is crazy and it seems to happen a lot i i've lived in la a chunk of time but it happens all over the place like it's not just los angeles you'll see famous fuckers in the airport and it's thrilling it's always amazing it is so weird around the horn

real quick who's uh who's the dopest person you've seen an airport adam oh fuck dude it's it's hands down the best one in the denver International Airport, I saw Stevie Wonder. Stevie Wonder. Yes! And I'm not being hyperbolic. Like, he fucking glowed. Like, he was way shorter than you think, and he's wearing a wild Stevie outfit.

It was fucking Stevie Wonder. And he just, like, I paused because I felt like, oh, there's a presence coming by, and I felt it before i saw it and i was like it's stevie fucking wonder in dia it was it was unreal so that was that's probably my top one but we've we've seen i've seen so many i'm curious your guys's uh i got two my top one just because it was like a comedian and he was funny i saw saw David Allen Greer at the airport one time. That's tech.

He was just looking at a travel pillow. And the look on his face was so funny. I just cracked up laughing like 30 yards away. Like, cause he was like, you guys can't see it was his eyebrow. It was just, he looked hilarious.

Contemplating a purchase. Already, already had it. He already had the thing. I think he was contemplating the purchase, like or not he was gonna let hudson news butt fuck him for that travel pillow yeah you gotta lay out hudson i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry and then also i saw i saw amber rose and you guys have you guys ever done South by Southwest? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You all know that L.A. to Austin flight. Oh, yeah.

Both of those airports are just fucking full of celebrities at that time. Yeah. Well, that's that's where mine comes from. We saw Spike Lee leaving South by one time. That was the dopest for me. That's right. We all did. David, you were there, too.

We also it was me. I was there, too. We were all getting on the same flight and saw Spike Lee. and it was sick i've now seen spike i don't know shit doug walked up doug benson walked up and we were like dude spike lee's over because he was just getting there to to south by because we were leaving a couple days early yeah yeah it was spike lee i was stoked damn whoa i think i totally forgot about that yeah ian's yours? I think I've seen a lot, because I also worked the Super Bowl the last few years, so there's a lot of LA to wherever the Super Bowl flight is happening.

So my favorite is when I saw Zach Randolph in Indianapolis, because he's an Indiana boy, and I saw him at the Indianapolis. I was like, he's fucking Z-Bo, dude. Skinny. Skinnier than you think, because he looks so thick on the court but nba basketball players are skinny dudes uh the best was when on my flight yeah dude this might be a different one carlos santana oh wow carlos santana dana and

i were flying back from kawaii uh he was on our flight kawai to LA, and we were in first class together because, you know, it's a nice trip with my, I fly first class. I'm not going to, what am I doing? Yeah, it's all good. And so I was like, stood next to him and his wife and his wife was like a, like a drummer in Prince's band too. So she's like, she's like a. So she's like some crazy, I think it was, yeah, I think that's what it is. Or maybe it wasn't Prince's band. It was somebody, but his wife is like a drummer in somebody's cool fucking band. Also an established musician. Sure.

Yeah. Also, and like, so there were two cool people, but one of them was fucking Carlos Santana and he's exactly what you want him to be. He was wearing what you think Carlos Santana is wearing. Yeah. Like a flowing linen, like crazy, like it's low, buttoned low, but it wasn't even buttons. It was strings and like a hat, dude. A labyrinth of necklaces.

So many necklaces. And he had like a luggage that was like he had obviously like was louis vuitton but he had been given for free at like some woodstock commemorative event or something it's just like crazy crazy shit it was amazing you're like fucking i'm sitting next to carlos santana that's pretty cool he always looks like he just got done smoking a cigar like in a good way yeah yeah yeah and not just a cigar either he made it sing dude uh i saw josh brolin playing with his kid at the airport the other day and i saw will ferrell that same day it was great that's we're uh we're in denver one time i think it was denver and we thought we saw shack and uh i think my buddy

i think it was nick well i think my friend nick he's like that's shack and he ran over to him and then this dude was like six four now come on ian i know i you probably all have seen shack too he's a huge tip for us to think we saw shack nobody thinks they saw yeah you either know or you didn't see shack you saw you didn't see shack we just saw a dude a little bit taller than us and we're like holy shit it's shag we were like 17 probably and old and the young enough to where nick ran up to him like if it was shack he was gonna be like holy shit you're shack and then he ran back that ain't him and we're like yeah we saw you next to him i also saw portland legend and domicong sue at the portland airport that was pretty cool that's a good sight from up there right yeah yeah it's more wild when's unexpected, like it's not a Super Bowl flight or something,

like Santana on that plane. That's nuts. Just random. I sat behind Tretch from Naughty by Nature from Denver to Newark. Oh, man, did you talk to him? Right behind Tretch. Oh, man, right to ill town.

And of course, Newark. Of course. Of course, Newark. Yeah. Right there. That's where he's from. And not because it's closer to Manhattan. No, no, no. And I was like, that's fucking Tretch. and not because it's closer to manhattan no no no and i was like

that's fucking treach and i snapped like a slide picture it was before instagram it was probably a decade ago but it was very fucking cool i watched his every move and he was real chill i'm glad that he didn't catch you taking that picture though because it was very risky yeah very risky i'd like the story i kind of wish you would have caught you because you'd probably had all your teeth replaced by now and so you could just tell me the story i I kind of wish he would have caught you because you'd probably had all your teeth replaced by now. And so you could just tell me the story. I caught a head cold from TI on a flight to Atlanta. Really? I remember that too.

Yeah. And I sat next to Afro Man once. Damn. Or like one row behind him. Kirshman's going to tell you all his Afro Man stories in Minneapolis, by the way. He said you brought it up on one of these. I'm ready. Excellent pick.

Seeing celebs at the airport. Yeah. Celebrity sightings at the airport always fun always fun great one all right time for my third pick sorry sean jordan but i'm taking the vast array of trail mixes available at whatever that store is i didn't mean to do you like that i'm just saying sorry sean jordan yeah i know you i know you were slagging off the fucking trail mixes a minute ago i don't like i don't like trail mix i fucking love trail mixes and you're not gonna find a wider variety you are it is it is odd it's weird how many trail

mixes are just like at the store that you're right i never i never put that together but it's it's crazy it's weird right it's like a it's it's it's they'll have like a spicy trail mix and a cajun trail mix go cajun for days by the way what's the difference between the two it's a lot of the same stuff one of them has wasabi peas but it's not the one you think like i just love that dried food section over there you're absolutely right and i've never thought of that it makes no sense that that would be in an air these are like high caloric active things you should be hiking and like burning the calories while you're eating these but like they have the most trail mixes there's more trail mixes than rei in a fucking airport and all you're about to do is sit there right and eat and you're gonna eat peanuts and chocolate

and fucking it makes no sense 900 calories of peanuts and chocolate that's a weird one for no reason you're about to you're gonna get 600 of your daily recommended intake of sodium it's great it's probably in a mountain dew it probably props up the drunk pilots it's probably just like if you just feed them trail mix they're like all right it bounce out whatever they fucking yeah that's something i don't ever want to know. Does that ever happen to any of you? Like you're out and somebody,

like someone's getting hammered and they're like, yeah, I'm a pilot. I just dread the day that that actually happens. Do you think that's for sure going to happen to you? I don't know, man.

Well, they're going to be getting drunk at the airport. No, but I mean like at the hotel or something. This is going to sound braggy again, but I've been lucky to travel a bunch.

I went to Tanzania with my family and we went on like safari and shit. It was unreal. But we were flying on these very little puddle jumpers

to like a landing strip that you'd see elephants like clear out and then you'd land on that strip. And so these dudes who were the pilots were all Dutch

and they were all like, you could tell they had been kicked down, I don't know from how many airlines to be flying this like shit little puddle jumper in the middle of fucking nowhere and you know that like drunken

bulbous nose like these I've never felt more unsafe these dudes were visibly you could smell the fucking booze on them and they'd like go from harassing whatever little African woman at this shop to like on the plane off we go and like wobbly get you down

it was fucking terrifying annihilated pilots I was just like these dudes have nothing to live these guys could give a fuck about anything they wouldn't remember the plane crash anyway also they're speaking Dutch which weirdly sounds like English,

so it makes them sound more wasted, I imagine. Oh, yeah. Dutch is off-putting. I don't like the way it sounds. There was no hiding it whatsoever. It's like they went from the drink at the little airport shack to the next one and got a drink as soon as they got off the plane. We were just like, thanks, guys.

We're going to go on safari now. It was wild. Guy's named Peter, but it's spelled all weird yeah fuck off my plan jay those are lies above the e peter trail mixes vast array of them i love it i love all the different i always get one it's like two for 7.99 by the way yeah it's a good deal it's the fairest deal in the airport it's the best deal there so and that's and then my fourth pick is going to be seeing a person being a dick and knowing that and knowing that something awful has already happened to them you know what so yeah walk me through this this sounds very specific i know

what you mean you see someone and they're screaming at like an airport clerk customer service representation whatever the right term is i believe they're being a dick they're putting them down they're like huffing and stomping and it's because their flight already got canceled or delayed or somebody lost their bag and all that stuff and listen we've all been there yeah i've been a dick to a customer service representative like that's happened but it's very rare that you get to see someone deserving something bad happening to them knowing it has already happened to them i see what you're saying you're seeing the result of their bad behavior they make their own gravy they come with their own punishment

yeah that's a good point that's a good point you're like fuck you oh wait actually the universe already said that they're already actually already you're fucked so i like it's when it's their fault like if they miss their flight that's what i like because like if their flight got canceled or someone lost their bag they they could kind of tell you they have a reason to be upset. They do have a reason, but not to be that, but not to like dehumanize someone. Right. No, it's karma on display.

And like, and the person they're talking to can't do, didn't have anything to do with the thing probably. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Never. They were never in there like chucking someone's bag aside. And listen, it fucking sucks when any of that stuff happens to you. Totally. I go on Twitter

when like I almost, when I thought I was going to you totally i go on twitter it went like i almost when i thought i was gonna miss sean's wedding because like alaska or delta whoever just straight up like canceled a flight and we're like sorry we can't get you there till sunday now or whatever i was on twitter screaming my little my little lungs out but not at anyone yeah it's the it is the worst feeling when that shit gets fucked up because it's like i just had a situation where i had to we had to land in colorado springs yeah oh wow and then they did like an hour right yeah whoa they did an hour outside of denver isn't it yeah they didn't rebook they didn't rebook uh we didn't have another flight to go back we just had to now you're just in colorado springs and oh wow

the whole plane everybody's's Ubering to Denver. So it took like an hour and a half to get an Uber because there's only so many in Colorado. The point is, the airport is like the worst place to be frustrated like on that level. Oh, God. It's the worst. You're powerless and you just spent so much money

to be powerless. And you're in a foreign place. Yeah, we've all lost our minds at a fucking airport. I've definitely been the worst version of myself at an airport before yeah we're sure every now and then you see someone being an absolute fucking prick to somebody who's making like nine dollars an hour and you're like well something bad already happened to you brother so i'm here for it brother i'm here just enjoying it uh adam top for your fourth pick this one only occurred to me because i recently traveled with my boys who are three and one

and i and they found this thing so much fun and i forgot how fun it is and how it really doesn't exist anywhere but the airport which is the moving walkway the moving moving walkway. People mover. Damn it. Dude, I love it. I thought I was going to get it in the fifth. I did too. You thought you was going to steal that one? I did too. Yeah, you can go right. It's fucking a joy.

It's nowhere else. They don't have them in malls or anything. It's just like, that's the only place you see it. And I always think about Puffy in Every Breath You Take, dancing in that fucking Chicago moving walkway with like the neon going off. I always think about Puffy doing his Puffy dance because he's so sad about Biggie. Yeah. So those are the best.

I like to walk slow on them, but then look to the side and be like, I'm moving fast, but I'm walking slow. I do it every single time. And I think I like to walk as fast as i can on them and then that first step you take off is always weird sure and you gotta like you almost gotta time it because you know the speed of your trajectory is changing yeah you come back into the earth's atmosphere you've been you've been in space and you're back in the earth's atmosphere gravity's a thing again it is no man it's one of the simple treats at an airport. I really do like it. Denver's the best place because it has a fucking mile of them.

And my boys lost their minds. They thought it was the funnest. They couldn't have had a better time. I'll even see if I can out-walk the people and not be on the moving walkway. If I'm in a hurry and I'm going to fly with my roller bag and see if I can beat these people. You can have fun around that thing.

Inspired probably by Sean Jordan trying to out-park that self-parking car, I imagine. Absolutely. Man versus moving walkway is something I've talked about a lot and trumpeted my ability. Somebody set it up.

I think all of us could out-park a parking car. They're not that good at it, are they? I for sure can't. Well, you haven't driven for a while. Yeah, I haven't driven in like 15 years but i'm saying though it can't be that good at parking i bet human has to be better i think no if there's three people that could get this set up it's you guys i think one tweet to a new car that's a lower tier company that has this service you're like hey our boy we'd help promote your fucking car you could make this shit happen yeah and you're i would love the challenge to try to out park a cell parking whip i would man we should get a sponsor like a three-on-three basketball

tournament type of situation you know uh-huh i love all this because you need other competition besides or do you just want it you do you want it to be you and the other one percent of i i love the heat of competition my friend i would like all of us to be on a team parking cars doing all kinds of shit playing basketball open open the doors man let's any competition anyone out there i park it i park it's free and easy is the feeling that i get when i take a free uh cbd edible yeah he's hims feels is the feeling that I get when I take a free CBD edible. Yeah. Feels. Feels.

Feels CBD edible. You got a dang smile, man. Now when I take one of those, I feel like I'm perfectly parallel parking a car. I feel like a hand sliding into a custom-made, beautiful leather glove. I feel like aching bones sliding into a hot tub. And that's how I feel when I take a Feels CBD edible. I'm going to take a bath after this.

We'll be right back after this break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life

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Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with PolicyGenius. Head to PolicyGenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy, everything already in progress. Adam, anything more to say about the moving walkway? I loved it. No, I think I summed it up and I like this new energy and i feel like i'm just i'm i'm on the right side i'm standing on the moving walkway i'm not i'm not walking i'm on the right and i'm i'm in no hurry at all excuse me excuse me mr carmel you can't bring all this lotion onto the flight well i guess i'm just gonna have to use it all right here in tsa pre-check

aren't i pardon me ma'am am i allowed to bring it on the flight if it's on my body? Well, what if I put all this lotion onto my body right now and then put my shirt back on? Smash cut to Ian eating so much lotion. He's just chugging that lotion. He's so tight. Sean, time for your fourth pick.

Okay. I thought of this because of Adam's first pick but can i go back onto the plane but we haven't taken off maybe okay i love watching some putts try to fit uh luggage into the top that ain't getting in there i love it i absolutely i will sit and watch that i feel bad i'm like come on man it's usually some dickhead though and watch that. I feel bad. I'm like, come on, man. It's usually some dickhead, though, is the thing. I feel bad if it's like a cool person, but that doesn't really happen to cool people. It's always just like a real aggressive dude

who's just like, fucking fit. And you're like, it is not going in there, man. It's the efficiency. Wheels out, you dumb piece of shit. And not sideways. Who puts it in sideways? You hog, you dumb piece of shit. And not sideways. Who puts it in sideways? I was sitting there like, you hog, you space hog.

The dope 90s band Space Hog. In the meantime. Just like death taxes and that suitcase, man. Not getting in there. Those are the things I know in this world. And I love watching it. I love it. And then the steward or stewardess comes around and just gives it a quarter

turn. And it just like butter. Where she's just like, well, it i love it and then the the steward or stewardess comes around and just gives it a quarter turn yeah and it just like butter where she's just like well if you weren't shaking violently and screaming well if you would listen to me for half a second the dude's red face he looks like bobby nine when somebody just missed a free throw like i just i it goes kind of on the side of like being really good at airports, I guess, or travel. But when I see that happen, I just get so, I just, I love it so much. Cause I'm like, well, they're, they're bummed. And it's pretty funny.

It's also that feeling of like, you've never flown with this bag before, man. Yeah. Yeah. Come on, man. Yeah. Inaugural journey, dude. Bon voyage. Yeah.

I'm just trying to get to Grand Rapids, man. Yeah. Inaugural journey, dude. Bon voyage. Yeah. I'm just trying to get to Grand Rapids, dog. I try to not take joy in the suffer like that, but it is, you know, it's not a big deal. Worst comes to worst, they're going to gate check it or whatever. So it's always very funny to me. And then just watching. Sean, I love when the flight attendant has to take over and they do that quarter inch turn and it works. And then that petulant, they slam it.

And you know it's for everyone. All the other flight attendants, they fucking slam it just to further emasculate this man. Take your seat, sir. Excuse me, sir. Yeah, that is tight. And the guy's looking back like, hey, it wasn't going to fit. You're like, all right. Yeah, whatever.

Just take your seat. Big, I loosened it All right. Yeah, whatever. Just take your seat. Big, I loosened it up energy. Yeah. Yeah. David, time for your fourth and then your final pick. All right. My fourth pick. This doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's like so amazing.

Seeing a friend, specifically a comic. When you see another comic in the air, it's like so amazing seeing a friend specifically specifically a comic when you see another comic in the air it's like the best hey look at us aren't we out here doing it where are you going oh yeah i'm i'm doing same thing but the smaller room you know what i mean but it's like it's the fucking best man that's great yeah it's the yeah what are the odds what are the fucking odds like sometimes you'll see someone tweet about it even it'll be like i'm what's where's good at dia and you're like dog i'm i'm here where are you and you can figure it out sometimes it's fun and i think i mean it obviously lends itself to like that probably happens to us way more than most people because we have so many friends who travel so much but it's just in

on the same days it happens to me probably three four times a year and it's amazing it's amazing in the same end like if you live in denver and you're flying out of the airport sometime you might see someone that you've also lives in denver that you know but i'm talking about seeing so not not not not like like someone like we're both in transit you're out yeah yeah yeah and uh yeah so that one scene and then my last one is uh the playlist whatever your airport playlist is that you got rocking especially when you're in efficiency mode you know what i'm saying where you're like i play these songs in this order i will get to my gate by the time across 110th street is done playing i will be sitting down by i love it when you call me big papa you're jackie brown through the airport

jackie brown soundtrack is incredible at the airport yes it's so good it's a it's like an amazing airport soundtrack but like you can listen to strawberry letter 23 walking by the strawberry letter 23 wall from Jackie Brown. See? Yeah, I just love having a good soundtrack. And that's it. I thought that was across 110th Street when she walks by that wall. Am I wrong?

No, that movie starts with Strawberry Letter number three. Oh, fuck me. Okay. No, you're right, Sharp. You're right. I'm wrong. Oh, tight. I'm the prick.

You know what's going to make you feel like less of a prick? Have one of those feels CBDs, just a couple drops under your tongue. You won't feel like a prick at all. One of those to go to bed, and when I wake up, it's coffee brought to us by none other than Sean. Trade coffee, Playboy. Pour me up a second cup. Yeah. I love it. That's the play the playlist is so good i listen to home

by lcd sound system every time i land in portland it's like my little perfect i want to listen to give me shelter 50 times on the way from here to vegas can i say just one i listened to knife talk like three times in a row when i landed in nice fr France. And I don't know if I've ever felt that cool. Yeah. It was amazing. I made Sam Talent listen to it. That's how good it was. He was like, because I was just smiling and we were in France.

He's like, what are you doing? And I gave him an ear. And then we were just listening to Project Pat flying into France. Amazing. Anyways, yeah. It's a beautiful airport soundtrack huge huge one amazing i love that uh sean jordan your final pick well you know call me simple call me a dork but whatever you want to do i like watching planes take off i just stand there and watch

them take off i love it i i will never not think it's a miracle that we can fly through the air in a plane i'm still scared of flying like tremendously scared of it so every time i watch a plane take off it helps me because i'm like it's fine so and it's amazing it's absolutely amazing that that can happen to me i don't know that's a great thing yeah i love watching planes take off and land it's so fun easy dude yeah well unless you're in the car with me behind the wheel but i feel i see what you. Like, I think that might be part of your fear of flying. Maybe you should get your pilot's license. You should just have a few JMOs,

a bag of trail mix, get up there, make it happen. Do it Dutch style. Can you make it say Jameson pancakes on my pilot license, please? Hi, this is your pilot,

Mr. Pancakes. This is my co-pilot, Jameson. That'd be tight. I'm Captain Jack. This is my co-pilot, Jameson. Adam, time for your final pick.

Oh, man. I was going to do this, and this is how I'm cheating two picks. I was going to say Bird in an airport because that's always... Oh, I still have a pick to go. Wait, this is my fourth or my fifth? This is your final pick, but I got one after you. Okay, well, I was going to say bird in an airport always feels like the beginning of I Am Legend or some shit. It's like nature's coming back.

You're a bird boy anyway, so you love seeing a bird. I love birds. I'm a huge bird boy. So anytime I see a bird in an airport, usually sparrows, I'm thrilled by that. Do you ever hate how cat cavalier everyone else is about it though like yeah i do hey there's a fucking bird in here and people just like no big deal right they're just like brush it away and go back to their laptop like i i caught eyes with a dude the other day who like got how cool it was and we're like look at

this fucking sparrow he's just eating little crumbs and shit like he's he lives in the airport what is the story of this bird what's his backstory climate control that bird's got to figure it out yeah well they that bird lost its passport so now it's got to live in the airport much like tom hanks in the terminal that's what's going on there until it can get back to belgium it can't migrate they can't migrate anymore because it lost its paperwork yeah so bird in an airport i guess i'll just make that the pick because everyone Yeah. So Bird in an Airport. I guess I'll just make that the pick because everyone seems on board. Bird in an Airport. It's like the name of a book of

short stories or something. Bird in an Airport. I always love that moment. That's something you... That's a book of short stories you're reading at the airport. Like David Sedaris is working on it right now. Bird in an airport you stop you're you're all big you're a big deal you're traveling you're getting on these

amazing machines scythe you know it's all technical and then stop calm there's a bird in this airport yeah look at that look at that motherfucker back to my david sedaris reference you think i haven't read holidays on ice i read okay i'm out here i started. I didn't think it was weird that you mentioned David Sedaris. I didn't think you had to back it up. Yeah, you did it really smooth. If the light switch was closer to me, I'd shut the light off too, but it's way over there. I'm going dark.

I know you're going dark. Burned-in airport is amazing. My final pick is when you're fairly certain you have safely gotten the drugs through it's great it's great oh yeah that's a great one you have to weigh two options because do you put it in your carry-on where where once you know you know or do you put it in your if you're checking a bag where they're probably not going to look as hard in that right

what happens if they find it did you start waiting at the gate or i'd love to tell you i'd love to tell you buddy it hasn't happened to me yeah i'm bad in a thousand yeah i've never i usually put it with my toiletries or sometimes i've brought like mushrooms and shit on accident. Like where you're just like, especially leaving Denver. Yeah. Where you're just like that more than I'm perpy than on purpose. I'm perpy. I tried to smuggle mushrooms in college when I was like, when they were not as ubiquitous

and there was a drug sniffing dog coming down the line and I had him in my carry on and I fucking panicked and I just got him out and I threw him away. I threw him in the fucking. I think those are drug sniffing dog coming down the line and i had him in my carry-on and i fucking panicked and i just got him out i threw him away i threw him in the fucking i think those are bomb sniffing dogs well either way i panicked my man had that dank wait perfect you perfect you threw him away did the dog go to the trash can i don't remember i just like threw him away and then just kept walking forward and like i don't know what's going on i never look back i never okay yeah that's here here hear me hear me hear me out on this here you hear you if they if they can smell them through all of my luggage can they smell them through my body like what if I took the mushrooms?

What if they were in my body? Can the drug-smelling dogs smell them in my stomach? Like, can a dog smell that you're high? No, can they smell the mushrooms in your stomach? They can smell them through all my luggage, so why can't they smell them through my body? There may be crazier smells going on in your body blocking that than your luggage would be my guess.

Get your dog away from my butt, bro. Yeah, alright. Why's your dog sniffing my butt, bro? Did you set that up so you could do an act out where you told a dog to get away from your butt? No, but it's fun. It's always fun to do. When I was in France, I saw the cutest bomb-sniffing dog. It was like a

cute little beagle. Come on. They don't like when you pet them. I've tried to pet them, too. They don't like that one bit. one bit but i was like he came up to me this fucker came up to me so i'm gonna talk to this dog i'm making sure the dog doesn't have drugs i never talked to that dog because that dog is a cop man yeah i don't associate with snitches no matter what their face is man yeah that's a good point sn. You ever just when they walk by, you say, fucking snitch? Yeah, scream it. I scream it. Those bomb dogs always chewing tobacco. Yeah.

You gotta defund. Snitch! We gotta defund the Paw Patrol, dudes. Defund it. I've been saying it. I've been saying it for years. Fucking wearing all that under armor. It's your day off.

They got too much gear, those assholes. They need more mental. We need to focus on more dog mental health issues is what I'm saying. Brother, your lips to Congress's ears. Yeah, that should be your platform. Defund the Paw Patrol.

Defund the Paw Patrol. This is going to work. Congress's hand to fucking the gun lobby's pocket, dude. That's the other problem right there. You're right. I really want to get into it. That's a good note to go out on.

Marissa, do you have a pick? Yeah, when you're at the arrivals gate and you watch heartfelt reunions between people who haven't seen each other in a while. Oh, sweetheart. That's so nice. I've always wanted a sign. I always hope someone's there with a sign

and they're never there. I've gotten a sign a few times. It's pretty cool. That's very cool. Adam, you let us know the next time you're flying into Portland or LA. We got you. Oh my God, I fucking will. I absolutely will.

And when I try stand-up again, when I get back into the game in DC, I'll let you guys know too. Mend those broken wings and learn to fly again. We'll see you at the old DC airport. Thanks, guys. You guys are the best. To recap again. We'll see you at the old DC airport. Thanks, guys. You guys are the best. To recap the picks, David, you went first and you took clear TSA pre-check, writing

people's backstories who you see at the airport, being a professional at working your way through the airport, seeing a friend and the playlist you put together for the airport. Sean, you took a seat at the airport bar, walking off the plane into whatever airport you're landing at feeling yourself, watching someone try to fit luggage

into a spot it won't fit and watching planes take off Adam, you went third, you took the airport shower realizing you have an empty seat next to you on the plane seeing celebrities at the airport, a moving walkway and seeing a bird at the airport, those are good ass pics I went last last i took the vip lounge eating insane food at weird hours the vast array of trail mixes available seeing a person being a dick and knowing that something awful already happened to them and sneaking drugs

through we left some good pics on the board i got i got all my stuff i i didn't have that many extras though i like watching someone actually buy sunglasses or luggage it's only happened a couple times but when you see it you're like oh yeah they're they're they're new they're new yeah it's like a phone people shopping in the airport you're at the space you're the spank store and atl just buy it i realize this is like for people to like buy stuff duty-free but heathrow has like gucci that like like all that like crazy boutique stores oh yeah they got gordon ramsay restaurants in heathrow yeah they do it up you know what i left on the board which i really i've seen it mostly on planes but i've also seen it at the gate when the guy has a routine when he's doing bits like when the when the flight attendants like

doing bits but i've also seen it when the gate attendants like, hey, we're about to get on board. And they're doing fucking their routine. And it's the same shouting fraud of a terrible open mic. And I love it. I fucking eat it up. I want to watch this dude do his bits and bomb or whatever. I fucking love that. I do love it.

How he's getting through the day. I love it too. We want to hear your picks. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to Super Producer Marissa. We love you, Marissa. Thank you for everything.

Shout out to the AFE Patreon. Thank you for holding us down. What? What is that? Somebody listened to Grills? Is that me? Is that you? That's gotta be Sean. listened to Grills? Is that me? Is that you?

That's got to be Sean. Is it me? That's got to be Sean. Marissa? Was that Grills? I feel like it's coming out of my computer. Yeah, I think it's Ian. What? What?

Where's it coming from? You don't know where it's coming from? That's the everybody get the fuck out podcast over. That's like the music. Some page started started auto playing that i wasn't even looking at it was a cat dancing to that song that doesn't just happen you weren't looking at no i was looking at this your tabs and my tabs are different somebody dancing a fat little kitty to it it was great uh Shout out to the AFE Patreon.

Thank you for holding us down. Shout out to the AFE Shaslackity, the AFE subreddit. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.

Shaslackity! That was a Hate Gum Podcast.