All Fantasy Everything - Autumnal Shit (w/ Bri Pruett, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: October 11, 2018

Fall y'all! Autumn is here and the Good Vibes Gang is gonna draft it, with the help of comedian Bri Pruett. Support the show!Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodEpisode Guest:Bri Puett @bripruett IG: @bripruettFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that has been doing this before all the other ones that started. Yeah. I'll say that right now, you motherfuckers. It's getting a little spicy on Twitter. I've never seen someone come in here with no shirt on. It might be on site. Usually take it off. Is it on shirt on it might be on site usually take

it off is it on site it might be on site i was really waiting for some on site when i see you i'm seeing you yeah i heard eminem talk about it i've been wanting to do it ever since i'm like i feel you know they're like we're kind of like the machine gun kelly and it's you know like the cool young i'm reading that situation right are they a lot of people i know we've been around the we're the first are we the emin's? I don't know who we are The amount of people that come up to David And tell him he looks like Machine Gun Kelly It's a lot

It comes up It comes up and I'm just like Well you have those suspender tattoos Yeah, that's a lot of it It's a lot of it That's a lot of it I'm gonna say that's 70% of it And I also dropped a single called Wild Boy

You did, yeah You gave your Southwest buddy pass to Waka Flocka, right? Wait, did he do that? I did, they're just friends. Oh, okay, but I fist fought Logic, though. That did happen. Did you go, Kelly, fist fought Logic? In New Zealand, apparently.

What? I've been wrapped up. That's a felony there. Here's what's up. That's how you get through security in New Zealand. You fist fight someone. Security's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! You're going to need to get your shoes off for this fight.

Machine gun killer! Killer! No, killer! Killer! You live logically! Live logically! Live logically! No!

Oh, man. Man, when they were saying, iminim. Iminim. Iminim. Iminim. Iminim. Iminim. Iminim. Idiom in. Idiom in.

Oi, Stan. Oi. Oi. Oi, Stan. I saw a tanker that can hold that guzzling. I just keep saying it. It's my only one I have. It's your way in.

Yeah, it's my way in. That kind of podcast. That kind of's my in. That kind of podcast. That kind of podcast. Yeah, that kind of podcast. Who don't want to listen to that? Like the best. Yeah. Bees knees, cat's pajamas, the whole thing.

We know there's an imitator out there now who, they did appetizers and in the last round somebody drafted sampler platters. So it's getting weird. Oh, is that what happened? It's getting weird. Is it their main podcast or is it just something? It's the offshoot of these fantasy football guys. Is there a Bizarro Shane Torres out there?

Whoa, maybe we should meet them. That means there's a fucking Bizarro Shane. Oh, just a guy with beautiful short hair. And they love him. They love him so much. But they actually secretly hate him. Yeah. They love him on the mic. They love him so much. But they actually secretly hate him. Yeah. They love him on the mic.

They hate him in life. He walks around the living room just like a robber. You can barely hear him. His name's Carlos O'Neal. He's got like a... It's a reverse Shane Torres. Oh, no. Roberto O'Toole.

Oh, no. Bree's going, oh, no. She's grabbing her heart. Alejandro, Shaughnessy, I love you. Just this short-haired legend that they all secretly hate. I don't much worry about them. I don't either. I really don't.

Mutation is the sincerest form of flattery. And all family, you shouldn't worry about it either. There's nothing to do. So what are we even going to do? I'm not even going all family, you shouldn't worry about it either. It's for, what are you going to, there's nothing to do. So what are we even going to do? Yeah. I'm not even going to Google it. Not even Google it. Don't even Google it.

Don't Google it. Don't give them the airplay. Positive. It's all positive. I'm sure they're nice guys that are trying to make their way in the world. Yeah, I'm sure.

What do you do? Or, or, or, or it's on site. It's on site. Or it's on site. Both things can be true.

You let us handle it. Just like, Just like that scene straight out of Coughlin. We'd be like, is that the lynch mob over there? And then we just fucking start knocking, dude. Hopefully we meet them

on an escalator. That's some sort of conference. I hope we're going up. Yeah, yeah. You want to be going up? I'll be running in place waiting for it. I'll just be on the escalator

all day. As you know, I know escalators do go up. They don't just go flat like those flat escalators in Sioux Falls that I was talking about. Flex escalators is what we call them. What is this riff? He got pissed at me, I know, escalators do go up. They don't just go flat like those flat escalators in Sioux Falls that I was talking about. What is this riff? He got pissed at me when I said something about the escalators that go flat.

And David's like, they escalate. They go up. That's what I do? That's what I said. My people thought that was. Millionaire from the 20s. If Bernie Mac was playing a millionaire from the 20s. I don't know nothing about no prohibition.

What did you say? I don't know nothing about no prohibition. Yeah. I don't know nothing about no prohibition. No No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bitch. RIP Bernie Mac. Sean Jordan in the studio. Yes, sir. At Sean S. Jordan on Twitter.

Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Instagram. So many of them. A lot of those out there. A lot of those. A lot of those. I like it. Only one original. Only one?

I think it's fun. We said it just a second ago. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattering. It's super fun. And you are flattering John Cougar Mellencamp. Even though his son's a prick. Met his fucking son one time. Oh, yeah, that's right.

He's a fucking dickhead. Have you talked about that on the podcast? Oh, I heard about it. I just heard about this. I don't know how much we want to blast. I mean, I shouldn't give a fuck. But yeah, he said some bad stuff. I don't know.

I guess I don't know how far to take it. Was one Mike Malloy involved in that entire situation? Yeah. Malloy had to Malloy him. He did. You know, like when Shane looks at a wall and he rubs burrito all over and he says, I'm going to Shane that wall. That's what Malloy did, but it was with-

People are going to think that's racist. So we should explain that that exact thing happened. Shane got burrito on a wall one time. He just- Way up high. Yeah. Wait, what? Way up high.

Like, I wasn't there, so it's not my story. So I think what happened- A lot of Shane Way up high. Wait, what? I wasn't there, so it's not my story. So I think what happened A lot of shit on Taco Pop. That burrito doesn't go up there. So here's what Zach and I came up with. Did he squeeze it too hard when he opened it? No, that'd be too comical.

Your CSI. Somebody had to strike the burrito from all the way up top. They had to be over six feet tall. I'm holding some black velvet and half a full 40, and Zach's got one of those cross joints, and we're just staring at it like, hmm. So what we figured is Shane had burrito in his hand,

got up, and I remember him tripping over the lamp. So he tripped over the lamp, touched the wall, as high as he could, smeared beans on it, and I think that's how. Because everybody knows when you're falling, you grab the highest possible. How else did it happen? Are you sure he didn't eat a burrito

and then do a set in front of that wall? Because he always reaches back. Because he had to touch it. Yeah. As is his custom. Did he have burrito also on his belly? I wish that the listeners could see the pose. What I think happened is he was eating the burrito,

and he had a premonition of this podcast one day happening, where it is ostensibly a fantasy draft podcast, but mostly it's a podcast for talking shit about Shane. It's a vehicle to air our grievances about the one Shane plays. And he got so mad that he squeezed the hell out of the burrito, and it went shooting up there on the wall like Popeye's spinach. Like Popeye's spinach, yeah. I like the squeeze theory.

I am a squeeze theory guy but again, I am an amateur. I wasn't there. I have a theory that Shane's gonna grind Zach's face into pavement one of these days

so maybe Zach was just almost crossing the line and Shane was like, one more word and then just, you know, squeezed it. Zach might have

that same theory which is why he's in the gym all the time. Get ready. Right now, as we record this podcast, he is in the gym. Oh no,

he was just getting home. That's why Zach goes to the gym all the time? Because he's a friend of Shane, I think. Wow. Yeah. So we can keep talking as much shit as he does. And boy, does he. Thanks, Zach, for that sweet gesture.

Yeah. Yeah, he knows what he's doing. Appreciate that sacrifice. It's a sacrifice. That's strike two. There will not be a strike. Strike one was on. Are you kidding?

Strike one was off mic. What was it again? Important. Oh, yes. We were talking about porn stars having to be on scene or something like it's very important that you're here on time. Yeah. And then a sacrifice.

Sacrifice actually. Sacrifice is great. Sacrifice I didn't mind that much. I like that you're leveling up, I guess. That makes me feel better. The third one might not even make me mad. Okay, we'll see. We got about three more hours of podcast to go.

We'll see. What do you got coming up? We start our show Faded on Friday. Oh, yeah. So if you're in Los Angeles. Go to that. 10,000 laughs. So here you go for 10,000 laughs.

I have about 12 tickets where they gave me a code that I can give to that. 10,000 laughs. So here you go for 10,000 laughs. I have about 12 tickets where they gave me a code that I can give to you. You have to purchase the ticket, but this will get you access to purchase the very last few tickets. How do they get that code? Hit up the All Fantasy email, the allfantasypod at Gmail. And if they're not all gone, then I'll just have them at the door. So first come, first serve. Just ask for one of those codes, and you'll be able to buy a ticket.

Oh, there you go. So hit them up. But there's like 12. So hit me up. Hit us up. Not me. Hit us up, and you'll get one of those codes. And then, yeah, we will.

It's at 2 in the afternoon. So find us again around midnight and see. Yeah. Because I have a midnight show that night. I don't know. That's crazy. It's 2 p.m. is the show? Yeah.

Why do they do podcasts so early when they sell tickets? They think it's a daytime thing, but ours is not a daytime thing. No, it's a nighttime thing. None of them are. I've done plenty during the day. They're not daytime things. I don't know. Like, the Splendid Table is.

Well, I suppose. All right, I suppose. None of the ones that we're going to be involved in are a daytime situation. We'll make them a daytime situation real the fuck quick. I think you'll make them a nighttime situation in the day. Yeah, we'll make them a nighttime situation. We'll make him a daytime situation real the fuck quick. I think you'll make him a nighttime situation in the day. Yeah, we'll make him a nighttime situation. Standing invite to Atmosphere,

by the way, much like the way that Ricky Bobby leaves his dad tickets at every race. Can you look? Isn't he going to be on tour somewhere or something? I don't care.

Slug Ant. Sean, Anthony, fly back two tickets at the door for you. Standing invitation to Carl Anthony Towns. If Randy Moss happens to be in town. Prof, you go ahead and come. I'd love it

if Prof came. Morris Day and the time. That's a good one. Yeah. Also Romany Malco. Oh yeah, Romany Malco. Is he in Minneapolis? He was in Minneapolis. I just like him. Shout out Romany Malco. I was just thinking about him the other day. He is so good. You've been warned. Alright. Let's

move forward amicably. Oh yeah. And also Weeds. He is so good. You've been warned. All right. Let's move forward amicably. Oh, yeah. And also, Weeds, he was just always. Yeah, he was funny. Four-year-old virgin. Oh, Romany Malco. Yeah. That's what everybody does.

Dude, you're right. And then it washes over you. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, he is very talented. He is underutilized. It's very funny. Across the board. If he's there, he's, yeah. Come on in. You can have my seat, Romany Malco. Not the whole time, but like 10 minutes. We'll putized across the board. If he's there, yeah, come on in.

You can have my seat, Romany Malco. Not the whole time, but like 10 minutes. We'll put him on the pod. Yeah. We've got to figure out who's going to be the guest soon. I know. They keep, yeah. I've still got to buy my ticket.

Oh, come on. Sean, get your ticket. I'll do it. Do it tonight. I'll do it tonight. I will. I'll be there, Minneapolis. Scream at you. In a variety of languages. You don't want Caleb. I will. I'll be there, Minneapolis. Scream at you.

In a variety of languages. You don't want to cameo, but we'll love it. I don't think anything else. All right, cool. Come see us at 10,000 Laughs. Still tickets available to our stand-up shows, I think. Yeah, I'm sure. I haven't looked.

Yeah. But come to that, too. Don't just come to the podcast. Come to the stand-up shows. Those will be fun. Please do. And yeah, just chill. I think I'm doing one that ends at 1.30 a.m. I'm going to... Me, too. Yeah, it'll be a I think I'm doing one that like ends at 1.30 a.m. I'm going to.

Me too. Yeah, it'll be a Saturday. I'm going to be throwing my weight around a little bit. If I can, if I can real quick, everyone that came out in San Diego and San Francisco, thank you so much. Dude showed up with a made a shirt that said me, bro. Me, bro. Yeah.

Shout out to everyone who sent us the videos too. Oh, yeah. Seriously, that was sick. Me, dog. I felt like such a dork. You, bro. I think I was sitting in the airport like, you, yeah. Seriously, that was sick. Hey, dog. I felt like such a dork. I think I was sitting in the airport like, you, dude. Yeah, I was getting to work and people caught me. It was embarrassing.

I definitely did one just in my room with my clothes on. And then Marcella's just outside like, what a fucking loser. I didn't come out. She doesn't know. Stayed in there, yelling. Yeah. She might have just been saying that anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Seriously. She wasn't talking to you. We got the other losers to yell at. Oh, I'll tell you this. Unshout out to the dude who got in a fist fight in Cubs. Oh, unshout out. Motherfucker. Yeah, what happened?

You didn't tell the story. Over some drinks. So they do drink minimum, and they're like, you can just get some water. If you got in a fist fight, it was over some drinks. Seriously. So he goes, well, if you're going to make me drink, and she goes, not making you drink. You can get some water. So then right away, she ended up getting over some drinks seriously so he's he goes well if you're gonna make me drink and she goes not making you drink you can get some water so then right away so she's like uh

she ended up getting up some drinks and then he's like i ain't paying for those she made us and it got to the where you never see it get to normally it's a bunch of words this was like dude and this dude was like big like bigger bigger than any of us and uh what do you look like i don't even know really I was trying to stay out of it the more dudes that are looking the more they're like you look like Deion Sanders

Tony Gonzalez? oh he's a football player? yeah that's right Jerry Jones? if I had to pick a football player that I know who he looked like like a big Troy Aikman oh Troy Aikman is big I had to pick a football player that I know who he looked like.

Like a big Troy Aikman. Oh. Troy Aikman is big. Just like a big, like a taller Troy Aikman. Did you see that meme where it's like Jay-Z? Yeah. Troy Aikman looks like. It's uncanny. Oh, that's tight.

It is uncanny. Can we talk for a second how I pulled that Datwin reference? Yeah. That was really well. Is that the Vietnamese line right there? Yeah. Great job, Ian. Thank you. Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, I believe he reference? Yeah. That was really well. Is that a Vietnamese line right there? Yeah. Great job, Ian. Thank you.

Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, I believe he was Hmong. Let me look further. You keep telling your story and I'll dive in. Anyway, they threw this dude out. They got in a little scuffle. All this dude's fault. Threw him out, literally.

Was Abe there? I don't know. I don't know how many, but the dude. The guy from Cobbs who's also huge? There were quite a few huge dudes, but the little dude picked him up and threw him out on his, like, threw him. Was it Enoch? Then we bolted the door. That's a cool man. We bolted the door. Yeah.

Dude's out there trying to kick the door in, and so they're like, alright. Wait, is this during the show? This was after the second show, so they're like, alright. He's trying to kick the door in? Hard. For like a half hour and they go, and there was enough of us in there where we're like, it'll be, I guess it'll be fine. It'll be a bummer if he gets in, but whatever.

So we just had a lock-in and partied at the club. It was gnarly. Did you go next door and party at La Rocca's at all? Yeah. That bar on the corner? Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Man, I have had some times in the attic of that bar.

I didn't make it up to the attic. In the attic of that bar? Oh, baby. I know that bar. Yeah. Yeah. That's La Rocca's. Yeah. I didn't make it up to the attic. In the attic of that bar? Oh, baby. I know that bar. Yeah. Yeah. That's the rocket. Yeah.

Yeah, the place is tight. I think I went there with Bronco. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I went there with Kyle. I bet we had similar nights. They like having fun over there. They do.

They like getting rowdy. That whole area, that nobody was shying away from any kind of buck, as buck as I wanted to get. North Beach, yeah. There was always someone to match it. Well, something that people forget about San Francisco a lot

is that it's actually a drinking town. Yeah, they do. I forgot about it until you mentioned it. Yeah, but everybody, whenever they go, they get drunk as hell, and they're like, what? I didn't know this happened here. Portland was a drinking town last weekend. I ended up falling asleep at Nick Cannon's birthday party.

Nick Cannon? Yeah. First of all, is that why Cat Williams was in town? Yes. Wiling out, was doing a tour stop there, and I guess it was Nick Cannon's birthday party, and they had this big after party at this club. Where?

Downtown somewhere? I don't remember the name of the spot. What? It's new, and the person who was DJing my sister's birthday party, Shaughnessy Danny Mercury, was also DJing Nick Cannon's birthday party later that night. That was a big weekend for him. Wow.

So we went to that. That's awesome. And I was so tired because it was on a Friday night and I had worked all week and worked that day. Yeah. That I was just, I wanted to go with my sister to show love. So I just sat there and fell asleep.

Of course you did. Did Nick see? I don't think Nick saw. No. Also, some of our friends just kept bringing me drinks. When I'd wake up, here's a drink. When I'd be like, I think I'm good, guys. And then people would be like, woo! And I'm like, alright.

I'm only gonna be up for a second. People like giving woo! And I'm like, all right. I'm only going to be up for a second. People like giving you drinks because it's like a hug that lasts for 20 minutes. Yeah. Like every time you're like, oh, oh, you're like, oh, yeah, Richard. I like getting people drinks because I'm like, I love you $13 worth right now. That's a club drink for sure. I'm in LA, baby. Yeah.

I hate it. No, it's okay. I'm in LA, baby. Yeah. Correct. I hate it. No, it's okay. Did we do the, I forget, did I, CoolGuyJokes87? No. No. Add the G as silent on Twitter. CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. If we CoolGuyJokes87, please make that like a verb.

Did we cool, it sounds like. We're proper introductions, man. It's like 69ing except you just like drink some beers together in the park. It's not sexual. But it is intimate. Yeah, it's intimate. Yeah, yeah. You're naked.

How was that date? Oh, we cool guy jokes 87 in the park. It was a good time. It was good. You know, she used to ride equestrian. No idea. Side soda. I don't, I'm in the midst of getting a bunch of dates right now to finance my lifestyle.

So davidborrie.com, those dates will be there. Look out for Detox. Yeah. No, it's up now. Please release Detox. Picture and everything. But in the meantime, yeah, come to Faded on Friday. Some of your friends – come to Faded every Friday.

Some of your friends are going to be here. I'm not going to say stuff. Maybe people who are in the room are going to Faded every Friday. Some of your friends are going to be here. I'm not going to say stuff. Maybe people who are in the room are going to be on shows future. You might see a wild Carmel in there at some point. Yeah. Lurking. Majestic. Jeans on. Show pony.

Team strong. Just walking in front of the stage, just kind of looking at people from time to time. Front saddle. Just show pony. Wait, Tom, what animal was that? Who knows? Who knows, bro? Come to Faded,

you'll find out. It was a panicking horse. It was a wild buck. Is that your horse noise? I don't know. Wait, is that? Let's hear it one more time. You sound like you're

running away from someone. No, that ain't it. You sound like you're in cold water. Like it's just you, but in cold water. I don't know how to do a horse. When do you do a horse just you, but in cold water. I don't know. Do a horse. When you do a horse.

Like those Lipton Twist commercials. I don't know if I can. Nee! Nee! Nee! I sound more like the Joker than I do a horse. Nee! Winnie, winnie!

Oh, God! My mom used to say, Nee, winnie, winnie, for horses. Nee, winnie, winnie, nee, winnie, winnie, nee! Come to feed! That's Batman. Yeah, Winnie, Winnie, nay, Winnie, Winnie, nay. Come to feed. That's Batman. Yeah, it is Batman. Did he ever have a bat horse?

Gotta have happened in a comic book. Adam West had to have had a bat horse. Yeah, at some point, right? It would make sense. Or Batsteed, maybe you would call it. Like one of the funny Adam West episodes. Batmobile's in the shop. Yeah like Batmobile's in the shop. Yeah, Batmobile's in the shop. Gotta take my horse.

Yeah, the bat horse. We could get horses. It's like Wham, Pow, Nay. Nay. Nay. Plonk. Yeah. I bet he had a few hosses back there. Plonk. Sure. Hosses? Yeah, hosses. Hosses? Hosses. Go get one of the hosses for me. I got two guns. I'm gonna go pick up Rob

and make him sit on the back. Horses. The ponies. Sure. I'm going to bring it to a screeching halt. It's okay. It's quiet. Everybody chill out.

A calm falls over the studio. I feel like I was sweating a little too much. Everybody calm down. Restart it. We're really... Every shirt's on. There it is. Nice.

So look out on David's website for those dates and they'll be on there also joining us in the studio today Brie Pruitt hello Megan Triumph for a return to

the All Fantasy Everything studio been talking a lot been talking a lot before my intro a lot of talking it's fine here people know

they read it they saw Brie Pruitt we want people to talk from Jump Street people would leave if they couldn't talk before their intro. I'm just going to see you in 45 minutes.

I just did a podcast yesterday where I couldn't talk before the intro. I hate it. Because I'm so used to us, I had so many things I wanted to say, but then I was like, ah, let me bite it. Let me bite it. I want to weigh in. Because sometimes we'll be talking about juicy stuff and you can't jump in? Yeah.

Bullshit. It's unfortunate. Yeah, it's juicy. It's juicy pre-intro. Do I put all these hot takes in the fridge? Brie, what's the latest? Not as good warmed up. That's not a microwave dinner.

I made that shit fresh. Hot dish. My handle is at Brie Pruitt. At Brie Pruitt? Oh, yeah. At B-R-I-P-R at b-r-i-p r-u-e-t-t correct two t's

yeah across all platforms baby cross platform yeah two strips of bacon at the end two t's

yes oh that's a good way to say it yeah I like that double t's Timmy Turner Timmy

Tina Turner Tina Turner is way better oh yeah who's Timmy Turner Timmy Turner. Tina Turner. He spelled the name that. Tina Turner is way better. Oh, yeah. Who's Timmy Turner? Timmy Turner is a song by Designer. Designer? It was his second single.

He had another song? Yeah. Whoa. It was Timmy Turner. I think. Is it like, I got broads in Atlanta? He made that,

he did that same weird noise he does now. I got broads in Atlanta. Timmy Turner, yeah. Anyway, Designer. Oh, it Like a pros and a little. Jimmy Turner. Yeah. Anyway, designer. Oh, it's a character from the Fairly Oddparents. I guess that's where it came from.

Oddparents. Fairly Oddparents. So what do you got coming up? Cross-platform. Check her out on Twitter, Instagram. Please. All that shit. Dropping some pictures on Instagram all the time.

I am doing some shows. I'm going to be doing some shows I'm not supposed to talk about probably. People do listen. People listen. Yeah. But there's one show that I want to promote and it's a solo show

I'm doing at the Bootleg Theater October 26th through November 18th. It's called Stellar. Go. It's a show about being a slut and protecting your heart. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yes. We have a lot of sluts who listen. protecting your heart. Yeah. Hell yeah.

We have a lot of sluts who listen. And it's about astrology and dating. Some of us have been sluts from time to time. And I want my heart protected. As slutty as I get. I was an August slut. That's a ho phase. You did have a slutty August, right?

Keep your heart at three stacks. Boundaries, buddy. No, they're there. I'm moving out of a slutty August, right? Yeah, I had a... Keep your heart three stacks. Keep your heart. Boundaries, buddy. Yeah. No, they're there. I'm moving out of a slut face. Yeah? Yeah. You're setting down roots?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Can't talk about it on the podcast, but yeah. Moving right out of it. Ian's going to get married to Michelle Obama. Wow, weird. I'm married to him. I can talk about it.

Dude. He can't. I just tried to her. I can talk about it. Dude. He can't. I just tried to picture that in my head, and it exploded. Yeah. Because Barack is still in the picture. It's the three of us. Wow. Yeah.

And you know he would be such a good ex-husband. Oh, my God. He'd be great. No, no. They're still married, too. You want to hear the third one? Oh, you're marrying into the- Into the Obamas. Into the Obamas.

That is progressive. And here's the show. Ian and the Obamas. I'm doing it so I can sell a- Oh, yeah, go ahead. Here's the Obamas. Into the Obamas. That is progressive. And here's the show. Ian and the Obamas. I'm doing it so I can sell a... Oh, yeah, go ahead. Here's the show, In Between Barack and a Hard Place. Ah!

There it is. I think it's just called The Obamas and you take their name. Yeah. Ian Obama. Ian Obama. Obama Carmel. Ooh.

Barack Carmel. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. I'm the second lady. That's what the show's called. The second lady. The second lady. Enough about me.

Tell us more about the show. What's it called then? Stellar? It's called Stellar. Stellar. Yeah, it's stand-up jokes, stories about boys I've been intimate with. It's about the list, about my list. Oh, yeah, the list.

About my list. You keep it on paper? I keep it, and I used to like about the list, about my list. Oh yeah. The list. About my list. You keep it on paper. And I used to, when I had a weekly show in Portland, if I didn't have new jokes, I'd say audience yell out a number and I'd pull up that dude in my phone. And I tell a story with their name, their age and their astrological sign.

And a fun fact about this, about their, you know, you know, everyone who you've been with astrological sign and a fun fact about their situation. You know everyone who you've been with's astrological sign? Yeah. Because I do a lot of online dating. Okay, I feel like.

And that's question one or two. Yeah, really? Yeah, for me. I already feel like I have, my list is sorely lacking as far as stats. Go through and paint it a little bit. It's fun. I don't even know the names.

I don't know what the number is. I would really have to sit and think about it. Well, it's a fun exercise. I guess it would be. Yeah. Not that it's some astronomically high number. It's just a thing that I guess I've never bothered to keep track of. You know. I'm looking for

patterns. I'm looking for streaks. I'm making bar graphs. Yeah. I'm looking for streaks. Yeah. I'm making bar graphs. The show's got bar graphs. Ooh, bar graphs. You have pie charts? I got a pie chart, yeah.

Ooh, delicious. So there's a visual element. The pie chart is called Dudes I Banged by Astrological Sign. I got a heat map. I got a sexual heat map. Oh, a heat map? Yeah. This is like NBA analytics. This is amazing.

It is. It is, yeah. I mean, I've always said that relationships are my sports. And you did it in Portland for a while? Yeah, I did it in Portland. Got good reviews. Wanted to do it here. It's a part of a festival called the Solo Queens Festival Bootleg Theater.

They're doing a bunch of them. That's great. Awesome. We love women. So AFV fans in LA and surrounding areas. Yeah, LA. So you can try. We'll go.

Yeah, I'm in. I would love to have you as my guest. Oh, my God. Yeah. I guarantee. I got to see it. I wanted to see it, I'm in. I would love to have you as my guest. Oh, my God. I guarantee. I got to see it. I wanted to see it in Portland so bad. I would love you there.

So, yeah, we all got to crew up, maybe have ourselves a little. Echo Party. Marissa, you in? Marissa's coming. Marissa's in. It's next to a real good crawfish place, I tell you what. Oh. Noice.

Tell you what. Noice. Seafood Express and Stellar, double feature. They got alcohol at this craw food fucking shack everything you said was so disrespectful it's craw fish and it's a restaurant it's a fucking shack serving the devil's oysters all day

it's not a leading young teen christian novel shout out to anyone who's read the shack it's not the most dominant center to ever come out of the SEC yeah it's not the pride of Louisiana. Shaquille O'Neal. Shaquille Rashawn O'Neal. Yeah.

Is that his middle name? Yep. Nice. R-A-S-H-A-U-N. Okay. I knew there had to be some Rashawn in there somewhere. Oh, okay. That might be number three, I think, for me.

You know, just fucking pull down rims like that without having part of your name be Sean. Ian, what's up, dude? Anything else to tell people about before we move on? No, that's it. I love you. Fantastic. I'm happy. I'm at Ian Carmel on Twitter.

Ian Carmel on Instagram. Ian Carmel across platforms. Ian Carmel on Jewish Trulia. What's Trulia? Julia. Do you use it to look up home prices or whatever? Or rental? I don't know.

I just thought of an app. Yeah. Jewish. You mean like Zillow? Yeah, like a Zillow situation. Like a Jewish Zillow. Do they still have Lulu? I don't know.

What was Lulu? That was the one where girls said if you were good at doing it. Oh, I remember. Oh, boy. Yeah. Do you remember that? I do. I do.

And people, you could, wait, you had to go through a girl's profile, but you could look yourself up, right? Yeah, you couldn't see it. But if you had a woman who was a traitor. Could like go through her Facebook or whatever. Because it wasn't for us. Yeah. Well, we have that, but it's just.

It's just a fucking private message group. Okay. I bet. Whisper campaigns. Yeah. As long as they're not interconnected state to state we have it too but it's about dinner conversations

that's what we're doing could really carry on a fun conversation wide awake over here our group chat is surprisingly G rated it is the stuff we group message about

it's like pictures of Shane I thought I'm really thinking like the stuff we group message about. I accidentally. It's like pictures of Shane. I thought, so Malloy goes, what birthday stuff's going on today? And I was like, we should do something. I go, I think Ian's leaving. As of this recording, it's my birthday tomorrow. Yeah. By the time it's frosted, it will have been my birthday two days ago.

Birthday king. True. So happy belated is what the Twitter should say. Yes. But I was like, we should do something sweet for him and then he's like and I'm like, dog, I didn't know you were I was wondering what the fuck you thought was happening I thought it was like a let's plan a dinner

thing or something. It was the group thread it says IK, SJ MM, ZT it says all that shit on the top I thought it was us trying to plan a dinner or something Oprah Winfrey's on that B.O.'s on there. DJ Khaled.

And Donkey Kong. And David Kong. KD also got on it. KD's on there. Kevin Durant. I thought KD Lang. KD Lang's on there. JT's on there.

Yeah, I didn't know why you did that. JLL somehow. I was actually about to that. I was like, he's gonna... JLL somehow? I was actually about to text. I was gonna be like, you know he's on here, right? And Ian was like, aw. I was like, you gotta check. You gotta make sure. You know what you should do?

You should name the group thread. You know what I should have said is what I really fucking think of the guy. It's what I should have said. I dare you. He did. Are we acting like he did? He clearly thought Ian wasn't going to see it.

I mean, come see me at the 10,000 Laughs Comedy Festival. Please do. Come see Good Looks. I'm never there. I'm on extended hiatus, but Andrew keeps running a really good show. It's great. It's a really good show. It's one of the first and third Wednesday of every month.

Listen to all Fantasy Everything. Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden. And I imagine, for those of you who keep asking, I imagine there's going to be a live one in Portland sooner than later. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Live one in Portland. We're trying to work out another live one back in Denver.

We're going to try to find some dates in the... And hear me out. People have been tweeting about it. I would love to go to Miami with you dudes. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Well, is the plan to come back from Miami? We'll play it back by ear.

People are tweeting about it. People have been tweeting about Miami. What do you mean? I swear to God. People have been tweeting about it. People have been tweeting about us going to Miami. And if we could get 30 people, 40, 50 people to be straight up, I will come to Miami.

We'll come. Oh my god. We got jet skis out there. White blazers. Y'all are talking about a destination podcast. Yeah. We do that all the time. A fantastic idea. Destination podcast. We're destined to go to Minneapolis in two weeks. Gotta have cheese for the summer house feast on South Beach.

Yeah, but this is not for a festival. No, you're just taking the show on the road. Yeah. Gotta have cheese for the summer house Yeah, but this is not for a festival. No, that was what I'm saying. You're gonna... Taking the show on the road. Yeah. It's a great... It should be a resort. You should find

some ratchet resort in Miami and like a cruise ship, like one of those 311 cruises. Here's what I'm saying. I'm gonna be wearing basically Will Smith's

flashy suit from the Miami video. Bouncing in the club with the heat on all night on the beach till the break of dawn. I'm going to Miami. Bienvenido a Miami. That's Spanish. Welcome to Miami. You think I didn't do that song with

sock puppets in Spanish 3 in high school? Of course I thought that. Me and John Colbert. My teacher told us, she's like, you were the only... But I can't feel a drip on the strip. Es un tripo. We did the whole thing. She goes, you were the only creative presentation in the whole class because we just did Sox Puppets and played Miami,

and then we just, any Spanish, which is barely any, we just said what it meant. I did the exact same thing to Caress Me Down from Sublime. Oh. Mucho gusto, me llamo Bradley. I'm more near than Ron Jeremy. This is the only room that's safe for me llamo Bradley. I'm more than you, I'm Jeremy. This is the only room that's safe for me to say that. Oh, I love that song.

I know you guys are sublime guys. Yeah, that song's fucking dope. You hate me cause I got what you need. A pretty little daughter that we call Mexie. If you wanna get beat physically, Just be over here in a minute If ya She told me to come over and I Took that trip

Then she pulled out my mushroom tip And when I came out it went drip drip drip I didn't know she had a G.I. Joe Kung fu grip I went uh And a girl caressed me down That's that loving sound And a girl caress me down

That's that loving sound When I kiss Mixie I make her feel horny Cause I'm the kind of lover With a sensitivity And she Kiss my neck And tickle me fancy

The right kind of love On a Sunday morning It's Spanish It's Spanish I don't know the part You guys sound like Shabba Ranks put together right there. That was dank. Shabba Ranks. Maybe we should be sublime. We should just be in sublime. I saw them with ice fucking tea.

I saw Long Beach Sub All-Stars. Was it sublime or was it? Long Beach Sub All-Stars. I was about to say. With ice tea. It was pretty dank, though, still. Sublime's good. Don't listen to anyone who tells you different. Yeah, they're fine, man.

Yeah, so that's it. That's all I got coming up. So that's it. Oh, yeah. Don't forget. Yeah, one quick shout-out to our boy Brian Froelich, who said he didn't even need a shout out, and that's a good way to get a shout out.

Yes, definitely. Said it's a very nice letter. Congrats again on beating cancer, my dude. Hell yeah, bro. Hey. We saw you at the live show in Austin. We'll see you at the next live show in Austin, we assume. Thank you for the very kind letter

and for the hookup that we will not mention. But we will use. But we will use. Definitely gonna use it. And mom, it's nothing crazy. It's just like, has she been worried

that you're getting crazy stuff? No, but she, no. Laura told me her sister-in-law started listening. I was like, I don't know how for her this is,

but so, Kate, nothing crazy. Nothing crazy. Well, my mom, that shit's wild, dog. I'm out here living it. Yeah, yeah, we did, Sierra Leone.

We out here, Sierra Leone. We're gathering here today. Oh, wait, you got another one? I was just going to, there's a few. Zach and Allie, congrats on one year of marriage. Oh. Congratulations on the wedding. The mazel tov, mazel tov. Mazel, mazel, mazel. Maybe you want to finish that? Congratulations on the wedding. Mazel tov, mazel tov. Mazel, mazel, mazel.

Maybe you want to finish that. Congratulations on the wedding. Mazel, mazel. Oh, I hope your wife knows. She's got to play it for life, and that's no bullshit. There it is. There it is. Danny, happy 32 from Brian.

It's a terrible thing to say on your wedding. Shout out to Andrea. Hey, hey, I know you got married, but. Shout out to Jasmine from Nicholas, and then shout out Joe Schaefer III. Happy birthday, playboy. That's a lot of Joe Schaefers, baby. Two wasn't good enough, Doc. You write down the fucking name.

Two for one, baby. Yeah, proper shout outs? Any more? Oh, yeah. We spread them out. We'll spread them out. All right, cool. We are gathered here today, not just to shout out three generations of Joe Schaefer.

No one is a worthy pursuer in and of itself. All three of y'all. Count of one. We are gathered here today in beautiful HeadGum Studios, located in scenic downtown Los Angeles. Just a waft from the Skid Row District. I drove right through it on the way here. Keep charity in your heart, everybody. It's fucking.

Especially this time of year. Fart Barf Knuckle is alive and real, my friend. Dude, Fart Barf Knuckle? I saw him on Skid Row trying to help. Fart Barf Knuckle. He was out there giving out sandwiches. Sneeze Guard Splatterbark has never seen the street. Fart Barf Knuckle.

Cradley Boopler. I've been hearing good things about the new Shraddly Flooper joint too Oh no, Starsborn's supposed to be good And Crably Crably Doopler's supposed to be good Yeah, I've heard, I've heard he killed it Yeah, Shraddly Doopler directed it And Crably Doopler got starred in it

Oh really? Bapu Fumi Supposed to get an Oscar nod Yeah, I don't know, man. Between him and Bing Bong Timmy Bitch, it's been a good... Somebody said online they called her Lulu Goose... Lulu Goo Goo? Lulu Goo Goo or something like that.

Oh, no, I'm kidding. I saw someone had a great Lady Gaga Bradley Cooper. Bradley Boobler? Yeah, it was Stephanie Germanotta. Lulu Goo Gone? Maybe it was Lulu Germanotta. Lulu Gugon? Maybe it was Lulu Gugon? Flu Flu Beegon? Oh, maybe. I don't know.

It was good, though. We're gathering it around autumn shit. Autumnal shit. Autumnal shit. I love the word. Somebody made fun of me for using the word autumnal. Oh, Lauren Greenberg, the other head writer on the Late Late Show. I'm going to use that word as much as I want, Lauren. You can't.

You're not my boss. Hell yeah. Yeah. I heard what he said. I said what? I said I heard what she said. Yeah. I like it.

Oh, you like what she said? No, I like what you said. Oh, thank you. Autumnal shit. Yeah. Autumnal shit. Gang gang. We got a whole crew.

Yeah, yeah. What's that yeah, yeah from? I don't know. I don't know. I'm just feeling the vibe. All right, baby. We're here together to draft autumnal shit And we will do that right after this short break This episode of All Fantasy Everything Is brought to you by Babbel

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And we're back. All right, ladies and gentlemen, now we're drafting autumnal shit. And the way we determine the order of that draft is with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. What type of draft is it? Oh, it is a serpentine draft. And what does that mean? Excellent question. It's like Lombard Street.

Nice. All right. That's pretty good. That was good. Man. Yeah. Cool. I was so ready to make fun of you.

Thanks. I have a visual. When I looked at Lombard Street this weekend, I was like, that's what I should have said a hundred episodes ago. Was that your first time on Lombard Street this weekend. I was like, that's what I should have said 100 episodes ago. Was that your first time on Lombard? No, I've seen it before, but it was my first time standing there being like, what in the world? It's so dumb. Yeah.

Shout out to my boy Johnny Raw Dog and Greg Gettle who gave scooter tours on Lombard. Yeah, you know a guy named Johnny Raw Dog. I know you do. Long story. Doesn't sound that long. Scooter tours. Or segue tours. Scooter tours. Hello, Segway tour. Scooter tour.

Hello, my name's Johnny Road Dog. I do scooter tours. Scooter tour. Where are you from, Johnny? I'm going to go down to Lumber. He's from Reno. He's going to hear this. He's going to be real happy.

Scooter. Scooter tour. Scooter tour. Scooter tour. Scooter tour. Scooter tour. Scooter tour. Scooter tour. Scooter tour is down tour Scooter tour Scooter tour Scooter tour Scooter tours

Down by the purr Down by the purr Kind of by the wharf Scooter tours Yeah by the wharf By the wharf Scooter tours I don't smoke pot

Nah man You should though Not yet Be a lot cooler if you did Scooter tours By the wharf Scooter tours By the wharf

The way we driven the order In a Serpentine draft is with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Damn. Ah, the G is silent. The G is the through this. I threw that one with my eyes closed. Yeah, man. I heard that was my bad ear. Weak paper.

Now, David, you will determine the order of the draft now. So here's how I'm gonna go. Yeah. Sean. Yeah, Doug. Yeah. Sean. Yeah, Doug. Okay.

David. David Borey. Bree E. Bree Pruitt. Wow. Ian Carmel on the back end. Hot corner. I'm ready for it.

Hot corner. I'm ready for it. Hot corner, dude. Okay, so with the first pick in the autumnal shit, all fantasy, everything, Sean Jordan, you are on the clock. I am going to pick two-handed warm drink season. Oh, yes, indeed. Oh, just getting cozy.

Holding it. Everybody take whatever you got in your hands and just hold it with both. Oh, just feels better, you know? Whatever they got in their hands. It could be a sword. Yeah, take Johnny Reno's smoking hog and put it in your hands.

Johnny Raw Dog. Johnny Raw Dog. in your hands. Johnny Raw Dog. Johnny Raw Dog. Sorry, sorry, Johnny Raw Dog. If God didn't bless you with a two-hander, don't feel bad. That's all right. That's all right. I don't know anyone with a two-hander, I don't think. David knows one guy.

I know. That's what you think. They walk among us. Why do you think they call him Johnny Raw Dog? They walk uncomfortably among us. think. They walk among us. Why do you think they call him Johnny Raw Dogs? They walk uncomfortably among us. They waddle among us. And to the left. Yeah.

Things like counterweight. Pendulously. Pendulously, yeah. You hear a light thud. Why do you think they call him Penn Jillette? What? Penn Jillette. You turn around and you're like, who's swinging a bo staff behind me

it's just the wind just you don't have to talk when you've got a dick that big is that the other guy tell us the quiet guy damn it

I wouldn't have known you don't have to believe in God when you've got a dick that big there you go yeah you can get away

with wearing a vest you've got a dick that big you fly no flag you're a man without a country but if you did have a flag I I know you're wearing a flag. You're in international waters, you might say.

Some could say. Some could say. Two-handed warm drink season. Talk about it. I noticed when I was in San Francisco this last weekend, I asked Kyle, the headliner friend of the show, Kyle Kinane. I was like, hey, should I get one of those? I was like, should I get one of those like goofy praline kind of latte things?

He's like, show's in a half hour. I don't even know what he meant by that. He meant it's going to take too long. There's a lot of things packed in there. It might take too long to make. Your blood sugar could be spiking all weird. He was just making fun of me for not getting just straight up caught.

But I got it. And I just, I enjoy, and it's hard, it's hard to talk about without picking other things, but I just enjoy the feeling of a nice, warm, two-handed drink. What are your favorites? Do you like a praline latte? Is that what I heard? Yeah.

Well, I don't, can I just say like- I feel like you just put ice cream in coffee. Well, you can say hot drinks. You can say like a hot toddy at a bar. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, I didn't want to, yeah, like that hot chocolate apple cider, you know? Hot chocolate.

Oh, I love hot chocolate. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I feel like that's all, yeah, like that hot chocolate apple cider, you know? Hot chocolate. Oh, I love hot chocolate. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I feel like that's all hot beverages. Those are the three I was going to say. Hot toddies, apple cider, and hot chocolate. You get that apple cider, put a little bit of rum. Yeah, you do. A little bit of butter, a little bit of brown sugar, a little bit of cinnamon.

A little bit of rum. Wow. Oof. Boy. Yeah. Yeah. Get your two hands on it. Two hands on it.

Yeah, yeah. And then just sip it. Get your roll it. Yeah, yeah. And then just sip it. Get your roll on. Yeah, get two-handed gone. You're in the pumpkin spice latte area, too. Are you a pumpkin spice guy? What's your stance? Yeah, I love it.

PSLs? Yeah, and I really don't like pumpkin stuff. Yeah. Yeah. You know, get it out of the bedroom. I don't do pumpkin stuff. He's not for that pumpkin stuff in the bedroom. That's not what I heard. Do you do pumpkin pie? Well, I don't know how everyone. He's not for that pumpkin stuff in the bedroom. That's not what I heard.

Well, I don't know how everyone would get into other stuff, but I'm not thrilled about it. I like a pumpkin latte, though. Well, here's what I'm going to tell you. This winter, I'm going to make some of my mom's famous pumpkin bread. I'm in. I think you'll like it. I'm in.

If you're making it, yeah. It's fuego. You could make sushi and I'd eat it. Is that true? Because point taken. It is. Maggie Mae said she'd teach you. I could make sushi. If you could make sushi and I'd eat it is that true cause point taken it is Maggie Mae said she'd I could make sushi

if you guys made sushi who knows how to make sushi I would try it and I would eat it I'm not saying I'd be thrilled but I would definitely try it we should make like a I'll do entry level sushi

yeah like a slim jim roll yeah Marissa just a little I feel like she just hit a Slim Jim down under the desk. We could put a fucking bean burrito, no sauce, no onions in a sushi roll if you want, buddy. I told some industry professionals today about you and your bean burrito, no onions. They all started salivating.

Four out of four hated it. Four out of four hated it. Four out of four industry professionals in our industry hated it. Couldn't believe that's what you went with. They all had burrito projects ready to go. I was figuring out a show. Bean burrito, no onions. I was figuring out how to carry myself on this wonderful show. I didn't quite fully understand.

I didn't fucking get it, bro. A man who was shown the acumen to pick a two-hander warm drink, which is a good pick. That's a great pick. It was on my mind. Hot drinks was right on. This is more of a winter thing, but like zoo lights in Oregon, you know, like where it would be really cold. And you'd walk around and look at Christmas lights. That's what I'm thinking of.

But with like a cold bevy in between those two hands. Yeah. I like it when you've been cold all day and that shit first hits like your chest. Oh, I know. You can feel it working its way throughout your body. Like it's like some sort of like super soldier serum. Yeah. I feel like I'm getting strong.

Super soldier serum. Whenever Laura's dragging me into church and I'm like, well, if I'm going to light on fire, I might as well have one more two-handed hot drink and I'll just get some apple cider outside. I haven't lit on fire yet. Yeah. We should make hot buttered rum. We should definitely do that. I got a bunch of, oh man, my stepdad makes this shit from Norway called glug.

What? Glug? It's crazy. Spell that. I'll probably get him to send me a bottle and we'll make glug. It's alcoholic. Spell that. I'll probably get, I'll get them to send me a bottle and we'll make Glug. It's alcoholic. Spell that.

You'll love it. G-L, I think. Oh, Glug wine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you heat it up. What is it?

It's hot wine. It's like hot sangria. It's so good, man. That shit. It's called Glug wine? Yeah, people take it. Like we could just go down to Skid Rizzling

and get some, I feel like. And they walk around these Christmas markets in Europe. Ooh. You got these Christmas markets in Europe where, you know, there's like trinkets and

good cheer and all that. And it starts at the end of November when you buy your hobnobs and whatnot. And you have a two-handed glug wine. The Norwegians, that's when they start buying their nissen. Jule nissen. All kinds of nissen. Nissan Sentra.

Nissan Sentra. Black Nissan Maxima. They're like trolls. They can't get into the radio. Yula and Ethan is like the Christmas trolls. Yeah. They love trolls in Norway. Yeah, that's the troll people.

We should have a pumpkin bread glug wine night. Yeah, fuck yeah. Yes, dude. Oh, man. Can we invite Shane and tell him it's somewhere else in LA and then laugh that he didn't make it to the real one? No. Oh, bummer. Too mean, huh?

I finally got too mean. Just really shoehorned Jay into that situation. Just very nonsensical for the talk we had. It was going to be a lot meaner what I was about to say. What was it going to be? I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it. Usually a shame thing will come up naturally.

What popped into my head, I had to... You forced that one. I was in the car driving and I was like, you gotta say something else. Pass the ball. Yeah, yeah. Don't just jack up shots. You're on a team, Kobe. You throw me the pumpkin, I shoot the pumpkin. We all worked in the gym together.

I don't like the pumpkin. Hey, quit naming autumnal shit. I'm sorry. I don't follow this. I don't follow this. Can that be a t-shirt that just has nothing wrong around the corner? I'm sorry. That's what I'm saying. I don't apologize. All right. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. Can that be a T-shirt that just says nothing?

I don't want to. Two-headed Warnberg sees him. David Borey, you were on the clock. You were a pick. I'm torn. Nothing's right? Nothing's right. I'm torn. Me and Marissa actually talked about my first pick before you guys got here.

Oh, so you were getting outside counsel? No. I mean inside counsel, but outside counsel. No, she didn't give me anything. I just told her what I had, right? Back me up. Easy. We're not the cops. What's going on with the two of you?

What kind of conspiracy shit is this? I think they call it kibitzing. Kibitzing before the podcast? No, no, no, no. We were shabbatzing. Oh, shabbatzing. Oh, that's fine then. I'm going to go with orange. Ian's face, for everyone listening, is what you think it's looking like.

Look at a picture of him on Google and then picture that face having just heard that pic. Orange is a fall color. It is. Everything's orange. A lot of things. Pumpkins. Squash. Yeah, but you don't get all that stuff.

No. No, I just read a color orange. I don't fuck with orange any other time in the year but fall. Now tell me, did Marissa say yes, do that, or don't do that? Marissa is smart and definitely said that my other pick was probably better. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm glad you didn't take Marissa down with you if you were going to. No, I'm not that kind of guy.

No, no, that's true. You fly with your own wings. You fly with your own wings. I'll take my losses, right? Yeah. I don't even know if this is a loss. This is not a loss. It's a great loss.

I do love the color orange. That's what, when I think of fall, it's just like the leaves changing. Just like the color orange is far more prevalent in fall than it is any other season. It's not a spring color. It's not a summer color. It's not a winter color. It's a fall color. And just like that's what we're in the orange phase of the year.

It could be a tropical color. But that's like the bright one. I'm talking about a pumpkin orange. Okay, like a deeper orange. Like a deep. Yeah. I'm talking about a pumpkin orange. Okay, like a deeper orange. Like a deep. Yeah. Like not the Nickelodeon orange. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's hard to talk about it without naming a bunch of other like. Exactly. That's why it's fall is fuck. Right. It is fall is fuck. That's why it's fall is fuck. It's orange because it used to be something else. Yeah.

And that's part of the color. That's fair. It's its history. Dan, it's the only time of year that I would rock some orange. I don't have any, but I've been thinking about getting into it. I got some orange. Like a Patrick Ewing sort of like alt jersey. Well, I was thinking of like-

I got an orange flannel. I did a commercial last year. Like a Chato Chosinko jersey. Oh, yeah. Bright orange flannel that I'm going to wear coming up. I honestly think me liking the Oregon Ducks more than the Oregon State Beavers has thrown me off of the color orange a little bit. I understand.

I still like it, though. I rock. But you know what's funny? I'm wearing orange socks right now. Shout out to Ken Folk. Yeah, shout out to Ken Folk. You know what's funny? Brooklyn, New York.

The Ducks, to me, feel like spring. Yeah. The Beavers feel like football season. Yeah. Yeah, that's true that is true wow crazy orange man even though the guys really really think about it you all feel the same way i agree yeah i'm sure orange orange i don't like being the face of the beavers look at this i don't like it he was the face of the beavers that's the face of the beavers old beaver

face jordan yeah that was my nickname and uh people didn't call you beaver people still do call you dj still do still do call you Beaver. DJs still do it. Micah still does it. What a cool nickname. It's not because I got laid a lot. It's because I have huge teeth. Oh, okay.

That's also a reason to have it. I don't know. He also gives a damn. Your backpack's got orange? Yeah. That's the orange I'm thinking of. Orange is very big right now. I've been kind of coming around on the color orange lately.

Yeah, it's out there in the world. I saw a. Orange is very big right now. I've been kind of coming around on the color orange lately. Really? Yeah, it's out there in the world. I saw a lot of guys with orange beanies in Oregon. I shot where it's got some fucking banging orange dunks that are on ESPN. I've been following him on Instagram. Did y'all know I had an orange car? No. You had an orange car?

I had an orange car. Really? I had a Honda Civic hatchback that was, I got in a bunch of accidents, so I replaced it, so it was a bunch of different colors. Yeah. And then my dad was like, I'm going to paint it for you. And he was like, what two colors? And I said, like green.

And he painted it orange. And I drove it around and then I sold it. And it's in Portland somewhere living. How was it for you driving an orange car around? Well, it was a Honda. I feel like Hondas are a little ostentatious. Yeah. You know,

it's a, you know, people put spoilers and shit. Sure, sure. They become like street racing cars. Yeah.

So it kind of looked like a street racing car, but it was just my dorky. And a lot of people, yeah, a lot of hatchbacks are street racers. Well, I mean,

my Supra is tangerine, so it's like real close. You've got a tangerine Supra. Tangerine Supra. You've got green shoes on it. I heard you say Portland Orange again, you motherfucker.

I thought I snuck it in. I wasn't gonna interrupt. Portland fucking Orange again? Portland Orange again. In my head, I was like, tight. Ian missed it. People are gonna hear it. I also like... I was thinking about you getting mad on the way to work hearing that.

I missed it. I like it when people from the East Coast say orange. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love the way they say it. Orange. I was eating an orange. The Syracuse Orangemen. The Orangemen. Say it again. The Syracuse Orangemen.

Orangemen. The Orangemen. The Syracuse Orangemen, the men's basketball team. The Orangemen Reg Oh, man. The Syracuse Orangemen, the men's basketball team. The Orangemen Regiment. What is that person? I was a team manager for the Syracuse Orangemen men's basketball team. Men's basketball?

For two years. I don't know. That guy. That was Ernie. Ernie. Oh, yeah. What was it, Ernie? It was about the Kenny Sheck. Ernie.

Ernie. Oh, yeah. What was it, Ernie? It was about Kenny Sheck. He was the inside the NBA on TNTs. Yeah, yeah. They're like the guy from Secaucus who would come in and talk about like refereeship. Oh, my God. And I made up a fake.

Y'all are watching like ESPN4 or whatever. We were stoned as fuck and I made up a voice for him. Ernie. Ernie. Ernie. He was traveling, wasn't he, Ernie? Ernie, here's what you have to understand about the intentional feel rule.

Here's what's great about Cable is that that person will live forever in your heart. Yeah, no matter what. He's the new Laker Girl. Ladies and gentlemen, your Laker Girl. Laker Girl. I have to go.

Yeah, I hate it. I wasn't here for the episode that they did it, and it makes me uncomfortable. Laker Girl practice, are you? Laker girl I have to go yeah I hate it I hate I wasn't here for the episode that they did it and it makes me like a girl Laker girl practice are you

Laker girl LeBron James ladies and gentlemen LeBron James and your Laker girl yeah Ian pointed

I mean this is why we're like we're just sitting there and I think we're in the living room and he's like listen to this fucking dude

say Laker it's a creep you guys are right it's creepy it's crazy it is creepy Aramee yeah the color orange

good pick orange Brayden it's time for your first autumnal shit pick something changes right it's in the air and you can feel

this ethereal thing and we know now you know you know when you look at the calendar there's dia de los muertos there's halloween and and and i hate to i hate to name a bunch of things you aren't anything about you aren't anything i am so sorry what i mean to say yeah my pick is spooky shit right It just is palpable. It's here. It's around. It's magical and it's wicked and we all can feel it. It is wicked mental, bruv.

Proper safe. Proper mental. It's proper mental. Me trainer's safe. I burst out of my trainers. Someone snuck up on me at university and I ran out of my trainers, bruv. I was so scared. So spooky out, bruv.

Attack the block, bruv. Spookier. Went sprinting out of my trainers, bruv. It does. Things do. Everything. Think about it. You almost just said it.

It's everything. Everything. Everything. Everything does change every night from like October 20th to November 10th

is weird at night it's spooky and that's why they invented Christmas to like light up the winter like hey it's okay

it's okay you know and to clear out the ghosts but like do you think it's because it's so dark so fast

no I am a witch and I believe that there's something. We gotta not say other stuff, so this is how we have to approach this. We have to not say other things, but... Okay, okay. But there's a way to get around this stuff. Things get... I wanna get up in this witch thing. I wanna get up in this witch thing. The world is

all the natural, the vibrancy of summer and spring is like giving way to decomposition. We are reminded of the cycle of death because we see decomposition and we feel a cold in our bones. And our skeletons. And everything is spooky.

And everything is very spooky. No, no, no, no, no. Because of the skeletons and the Frankensteins. Is that Ernie? I don't know. I love him. There's a character to be named later. This is somebody else.

He's so sweet. You're going to see this dude in a TV show at some point. Yeah. Law and order. I like that a lot, though. I think that you're right. It is the scariest time of year. Oh, yeah.

And nobody talks. It's just something about, like, I'm always paranoid walking at night. That's why I got that thang on me. By thang, I mean pepper spray. Don't try me, y'all. But I'm always scared walking at night alone. By pepper spray, he means sriracha. Yeah.

And by sriracha, I mean two packets of pepper. Yeah. But I will blow them right in your eyes. Yeah. I do not give a shit. You're just like, I'm like, right back to the crawfish place.

I'm like Andre Agassi's dad. I just keep that thing in my pocket. Yuck. Do you ever heard about that? No. Andre Agassi's dad used to keep pepper in one,

or either pepper or salt in one pocket in case he had to like blow it in an enemy's eye. Like blood sport? No, yeah. That's what they do in blood sport. I read it in an ESPN article. Like blood sport? No, yeah. That's what they do in blood sport.

I read it in an ESPN article. I love that. That's pretty whimsical. It's not whimsical. Dude, it's not. It's like real hardcore. So if you're real good at tennis, if your son is good at tennis,

you get interviewed in magazines? I think his dad was his coach. Andre Agassi. I think his dad was his coach for a lot of years and his dad is just He's like a Tina Knowles of tennis. But his dad is from a hard He's a hard man from a hard place.

Wasn't Andre a pretty He wore a wig most of his career that kind of shit, right? About midway through. So his dad would be a good interviewer. He'd be like, hey, what'd you do to the kid? Yeah, he's a weird story. But the point is...

Very handsome. But back to the point is, nighttime is scary during the season change. It is scary. I wonder if there's anything to like that, like, I mean, you know winter is coming, but so you know that, so like you know resources are getting scarcer.

Of course. There's an animal part of it. But for other animals, too. So for wolves and bears and stuff, they need to start feeding more. Because they know it's getting colder. I remember my dog fighting three coyotes in November once. Is that real?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy shit. Shout out to Elizabeth. Coyotes, though, are not scary. They're varmints. They can be. But they're so little. There's nothing behind their eyes, though, David.

Have you seen some of these L.A. coyotes? Yeah, but have you seen me go cold? There's nothing behind these eyes either. That's true. I know. I'll kill it. I'll punch a coyote right. David leaves.

You can fight a coyote. They're not big. I've seen it happen one time. When he went cold, there was nothing behind his eyes. There was a buffalo wing in his hand. Okay. That's true. No, some of these L.A. coyotes are fucking big, dude.

That's true. I saw a few on L.A. coyotes are fucking big, dude. That's true. I saw a few on my street. Because it's hot weather. We saw one in Los Feliz that looked like a fucking wolf dog going down the middle of the street with confidence. Not like a cowardly coyote. Yeah, like it had recently bought and refurbished one of those houses. Flippin' Houses in Silver Lake? Yeah.

And he was going to the public house to talk about how he just bought a house in Los Feliz. He paid cash. Like he helped co-create Sons of Anarchy. So he's just got a fat crib and silver leg. Yeah, I grew up with Charlie Hunnam. He's just jogging. Hunnam. Hunnam.

Yeah. Big coyotes, man. He's getting a stake in that Mayans thing, you know, so he's got more money coming in. What's the Mayans thing? It's the Off Street Sons of Anarchy, but the Mexican motorcycle. Yeah, that's the new one, right? I can't wait until they make one about the Oakland kids. What are the Mayans thing? It's the Off-Tree to Sons of Anarchy, but the Mexican motorcycle. Yeah, that's the new one, right? I can't wait until they make one about the Oakland kids. What are the Oakland kids?

Oh, well, the men in Oakland on motorcycles. I mean, the Hells Angels were... Yeah, but there's also a bunch of black dudes. One time I went to this Juggalo show, and there were all these guys called Hells Brothers, and they had all these big- ass Honda motorcycles with like systems. Really? Like they were bumping and it was like,

I was like, man, those dudes are cool. Did you see Shaggy 2 Dope? You just said Juggler. No, I didn't. Did you see Shaggy 2 Dope? Sean, did you think

any of us? No, this is a funny Wacky Circus Gang story. He fucking tried to drop kick Fred Durst. Fred Durst! Wait, is that meme? Yes, it's real.

Is that what that is? You know what I thought of? Oh my God, that's so funny. All I thought of is what I thought of. Is that Shaggy? Is that what that is? You know what I thought of? Oh, my God. That's so fun. All I thought of was what I thought of. I'm thinking high school me is trying to drop kick high school Ian in that picture. That's what I thought about. Because Fred Durst didn't even move.

Middle school me. High school me? All right. High school me was trying to drop kick middle school you. Limp Bizkit did not make it into high school with me. I see, baby. If I remember it right. They made it well into my freshman year or something.

I didn't know what that was. Did he connect? Barely. Barely. And I think it was probably a joke. How do you barely kick somebody in the head? I think there probably had to have been something that we don't know.

But yeah, that's what that was. No, those dudes been hating each other. Shaggy Too Dope trying to drop kick Fred. Where were they together? Some really classy event. I don't know where they were. Who's at the Met Gala?

VIP only Met Gala. They all wanted to see Fred Durst sing Faith. I would want to see Fred Durst sing Faith. I watched the whole video before the drop kick. Like an the dropkick Rock on a hammer Yeah yeah yeah Like an unplugged Yeah

And Monkey Monkey Monkey That's corn Shit West Borland M-U-N-K-Y Yeah

Hi this is my guitarist Monkey Monkey Hetty And Monkey And over there is Aaron Lewis Of Stained Oh Yeah I know some shit Alright Spooky Hetty and Monkey. And over there is Aaron Lewis of Stained. Oh.

Yeah. I know some shit. All right. Spooky. Spooky shit. Great pick, Brie. It's time for my first and second picks, as it is. As it is.

As it is. I'm going to go ahead and fucking take it off the board. I'm taking Halloween, baby. Wow. This is Halloween. This is Halloween. Halloween. Let's try to not get too deep, but it is my favorite.

I fucking love it. I'm not taking even the lead up to Halloween type stuff, which there is some stuff that's tangentially real, or even very closely related to Halloween. That's not Halloween itself. Can I tell you guys the truth? Yes. I didn't like Halloween until I was an adult.

Really? Wow. I was a skittish little boy. Children's holiday. I did not. I didn't fuck with. Hocus Pocus scared me. Really?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, if you were the right age, though, sure, I could see that. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't fuck. I liked breaking stuff, and I liked trick-or-treating, but I didn't like any of the scary shit. You like the tricks more than the treats. Yeah, I'm a trick. I'm a trick.

I'm a trick from way back. I'm not into tricking. Just a treating. And I ain't into treating every trick that I'm eating. Nah, nah, I'm a trick. I'm a trick. I'm a trick guy. I'm a trick from way back. These are probably trick daddy. I'm not into tricking, just a treating. And I ain't into treating every trick that I'm eating. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Yeah, shake it, baby. Shake it now. Shake it.

Don't stop. Shake it. What song is that now? Rex and Effect. Oh. Rub Shaker. Oh, shit. She just met every birthday butt naked.

Body assault making me want to- Come kiss her. Stick it. Anyway, Halloween. Halloween. So I went through a short phase where I was not as into it as I am now. I get, like, goosebumps. I love it.

It's one of my favorite holidays. I feel like I was very into it from the age of, like, three until the age of, like, 12. And then I didn't give a fuck for a while. And then I got real back into it from the ages of like 22 until now. Did like, what brought you back into it? Now, bro. Good costume? Now, dog.

Halloween parties. I love like an adult Halloween party. I was going to say, moving to Portland got me back into it because then we were going to parties. And I was having like this, not to make it all about me, but myself, I was having this like new experience. And I was like, I fucking love getting dressed up and going to parties.

It's fun. We had like, I remember there was this Halloween party in Ashland, Oregon. There's like big, I went to college freshman year with a friend of the pod, not in the studio,

not on the mic, Nick Nampay. He had the funniest tweet the other day. I can't remember. Nampay's a funny dude, dude. He's NNampay on Twitter. He very much is. But Ashland, which is where Southern Oregon is, goes crazy for Halloween.

Yeah. Crazy for it. And the whole town turns into a party kind of thing with just drunk people running around. And we were out there one night. I think this was sophomore year because I was up in Portland. I drove down for it. And there was somebody trying to pass out Bibles to be like, no, this is evil. That's scarier almost.

Yeah. Terrifying. Yeah, it's way scarier. I ran up to him. I was like, that's not what tonight is about and threw his Bibles into the street. And then we had to make haste because it was like, oh, you're not allowed to do that.

No, you can't just be tossing Bibles. And we had to make haste. So we beat the scene pretty quick after that. But Ashley goes buck for it. So right about probably, we were 19 or 20. So I guess that's when I got back into it. The last trick or treat I ever did was when I was 12. I think I was 12.

Yeah, because I didn't do it when I was 13 because my bar mitzvah was November 1st. That also makes me sad because you were so big that they probably thought you were a man early. Yeah, they did. I trick or treated until I was like- Yeah, it was hard to get away with. I think I did until I was like 15. Really? Yeah, but if you came to my head, you were-

Yeah, yeah. Come on, son. I was big back then, too. Yeah, right? What are you going to go have sex with a girl after this? Yeah. You don't need this crunch bar. You look like a high school mascot.

Yeah. You look like a kid out trick-or-treating. They're just giving you some stuff to borrow. Did you change my oil like Grease Monkey? Here's a lease that I have in my house. But I can't, I mean, if I ever have kids, I can't wait for that part of it because I remember how magical it is

when you're a little kid and you get like this big bag of candy and everything and you save it. And you eat sixlets and weird shit you would never get. Sixlets. Any other time of the year. Now, this is tricky, but remember when, it's not funny,

but when they're like, you gotta check your candy because lunatics put razor blades in the snicker bars and you're like, that's so gnarly to think about. Some crazy motherfucker just putting razor blades in there. It happened like once. That's what I think the deal is.

I never even heard of it actually happening. The idea is so terrifying. It's endured all these 45 years or whatever. Yeah, I've never even heard. I've never heard a personal account. Just mixing your glass with your cookies. Now I heard people are worried about edible candy going out on Halloween. But I'll tell you what right now.

That shit's so expensive. There's no way. We're giving out. Am I an asshole? Is that hilarious or not? No. No? Well, what if it's-

Kids? No, not funny at all. Yeah, all right, all right. No, no, no. A second of- Fuck you up. For a second, all right. I got high when I was 12, though, and it was pretty funny.

Yeah, I did, too. But if you ate a whole, like, Chibichu- It would ruin your week. But that's, like Bree said, that's like four bucks. Yeah, that's true. That's expensive. Like, you wouldn't- More than that. No, it's way more than bucks. No, it's true. That's expensive. Like you wouldn't. More than that?

No, it's way more than bucks. For one Chibichu? Yes. With taxes and stuff around here, it's wild now. Expensive. Because they're packs of six, right? You got to go to the rich neighborhoods to catch 22. King size Chibichu.

But that was for king size Chibichu. I love going to the rich neighborhoods. That's how they got rich by the way. It feels like gain in the system. Oh, yeah. You kept your mask on because you're like, they don't know,

we don't live around here. I remember when I first moved to Colorado, we went to this neighborhood called Saddle Rock in Aurora where people said Broncos live.

That sounds expensive as hell. Yeah, it was expensive as hell and we were like, we're going to go to Saddle Rock. They don't even know. They won't even know. And then we didn't,

it really wasn't, we didn't get anything that great. Yeah, they give them like single to tea rolls and stuff. We got a can of soda from one house, and I was like, really? That's pretty dope. I'd be into that.

Yeah, it was like a Dr. Pepper. But it's also, and now as an adult, it's like kind of a sexy holiday. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's super sexy. Slutty. Because it's kind of the only non-religious holiday that are non-family that you really party at.

And you're, you know, everyone's kind of sly. You got masks on. Yeah. You're like, you're kind of a... Like everyone's role-playing a little bit. You're a character. Yeah, you're another person. You're like, hello, I'm Sean.

That was my Dracula. I got that. No, you're not. It was really good. Yeah, to suck your blood. It was really good. Every time, every hookup I've ever had on Halloween has been pretty cool.

Yeah, it's like kind of a fun hookup. You're in costumes. I bet you didn't know you were going to make out with Chef tonight, did you, baby? He didn't think Beetlejuice was coming over. Oh my God, that's a great costume, David. I got like three or four that are pretty easy. What's everyone's favorite costume? As an adult, I dressed up once as the shepherd fairy Andre the Giant thing.

as an adult, I dressed up once as the Shepard fairy Andre the Giant thing, where I did my face to look like his, and like wore a sign that said like, Andre the Giant has a posse. It was pretty fun. And it was before like Obey became some like the Target streetwear brand. But yeah, that was probably my

favorite adult costume. I made myself into a big bottle of Old English one year. I was like the only costume I've ever made myself. Pretty easy you can imagine. And you were full of Old English one year. Hell yeah. It was like the only costume I've ever made myself. Pretty easy, you can imagine. And you were full of actual English. Yeah, that's the crazy part. I did bring a 40.

I'm drowning. I brought a 40 to the party and I kept refilling the 40 with keg beer and everyone's like, dude, you can't fill the whole 40 back up. This is for like cups. And I'm like, well, or I'm just going to fill the 40 back up. Reduce, reuse, recycle, motherfucker.

We'll break two of these bottles over your head yeah that was mine I was really really happy about it I uh one year it isn't even a real thing but I got like uh there were these belts that held beers and I got two of them and I put them across my chest like bandoleros and then I had a beer

helmet and then I went to joann fabrics shout out shout out three yards of bud light fabric and made a cape oh yeah hell yeah i like that yeah and i think i just wore like a black t-shirt you're like real life duff man yeah yeah yeah that was inspired by duff but you didn't drink it all that night that's the thing you stayed sober that was the thing i was kidding oh no't understand what you're saying. I was kidding. Oh, no. Obviously, you got drunk. By the end, people were pouring mixed drinks into the empty beers in my helmet.

No, I was going. In my helmet. It was going down. Marsmell, off mic. Best Halloween costume? I bet you got a good one, girl. Re-dead from The Legend of Zelda. Re-dead from The Legend of Zelda.

True heads now. Okay, good. Re-dead from The Legend of Zelda. True heads now. Okay, good. Re-dead? We'll post. I have pictures of the Under the Giant. Do you have pictures of the 40 outfit? Yeah, in the book. Yeah, I do.

Boarding a bug man? Pictures at least with the beer helmet. Do you have re-dead pics? Oh, yeah. Bree, what do us? Re-dead. You guys mean, I'm kind of a bummer Halloween person. You're no Halloweener.

Yeah, TBH, I think it's kind of a raw deal for fat women on Halloween. Sure, sure, sure. You guys got good fat costumes, but I don't got them like that. Last year, I was like, I'm always working. I'm always on stage or whatever. So last year, I dressed up as Wednesday Addams. And I said, I'm Wednesday Addams or Adele. Whichever.

I'm not trying to fucking fuck you up. I don't care. You call me whatever, you know? I get it. When I was a kid, though, I loved Halloween, and even though trick-or-treating in Oregon is miserable, it's always raining and cold. But I would just wear this shark costume

every year, and I was just a shark every year, and it was fucking dope, dude. And like, I gotta get back there, you know? Just be like a shark be a shark you know what I've been thinking I wanted to be lately Casey from the freaking you video

backwards hat open black shirt open black pants white underwear white underwear no shirt underneath gold chain. We've got to figure out something to do on Halloween this year. There's that crazy show for Mac Miller at the Bowl.

Oh, that'd be fun, dude. Or a party. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We were talking about being Hall of Notes. We'll see. Wow, a couple costumes.

We got another giggle. We got the giggle over there. Somebody put a nickel in the giggle machine. What was your favorite costume, Ian? It was the... Oh, Andre. As an adult, Andre the Giant. Yeah.

What about kid? As a kid, Sue Carmel, shout out to Saint Sue Carmel. Saint. Made me... She sewed it herself, this superhero costume with muscles in it. And I had this gold lame cape. Oh, that's... It was hype.

I think I have pictures of that, too. That I want to see. Yeah, mom hooked it up. I looked cute as hell. I was such a cute little kid. Oh, that's wild. I think I have pictures of that, too. That I want to see. Yeah, mom hooked it up. I looked cute as hell. I was such a cute little kid. Oh, my God. What happened, you know? Mom's little angel went hard.

But, yeah, I think those are the two, the childhood and the adult versions. So Halloween is my first pick. We've got to post them. It's very good. With my second pick, I'm picking Being Cold. Damn it. Yeah. Man.

Yeah, that's a really good one. It's a really good one. I was going to say it happens less in LA, but it's pretty chilly tonight. I run hot. I run hot, too. And when it's cold, I fucking. The change is more noticeable in California. The best. It's October 8th right now, and it's still chilly out. I fucking. The change is more noticeable in California. The best.

It's October 8th right now. And it's still chilly out. It is. Yeah. And I'll tell you. Especially at night. Especially at night. I was getting a little miffed because it was like 90 last week.

Were you getting frigging miffed? I was getting a little frigging TO'd, bro, because it was 90 frigging degrees out, bro. Getting a little peeved, you know? You know, you got the job done with a frigging quarry. I was frigging working with my frigging hands all day and shoot my have you guys ever had a job like a out like a hard work outside job when it was cold out though i had jobs where you had to exist outside suck i used to uh i used to help my buddy's dad uh okay i worked a great bad shovel he shoveled he like he was a property manager for all these different apartment complexes.

So when it would snow and shit, shout out to Dean White, we would have to shovel the walkways of the whole apartment complexes. Shit, that's a lot. Oh, man. You just put in some very aggressive trick daddy and just go like this all day. When you hit your hand against something,

it hurts way more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes breathing in hurts. Yeah. I'm talking about the good shit. Yeah. The good shit. The nice, just that crisp to let you know you're alive.

Yeah. I like it when it's cold out sometimes. Of course. Especially at night. I like a crisp night. I love a crisp night. It's the best. It makes me sleep better, too.

Yes. When I have my window open on a crisp night. Because you can get warm when it's cold. Yeah. Dude. And that I love. You can get? Because you can get warm when it's cold. Yeah. Dude. And that I love. You can get warm. You can get warm when it's cold.

I love that. Right out of Kelly Jordan's playbook. She's like, I'd rather have it be cold. You just put blankets on. When it's hot, I'm fucking furious. Yeah. She doesn't say it as buck as that, but it's the point. It's in her eyes.

She gets peeved. Yeah, peeved. Really chaps her butt. Really grinds her gears. Yep. Grinds them right up. It's just way, I just really prefer being cold. And when the weather finally changes, I mean, around February, that shit gets tiresome.

Right. Sweater weather. Yeah. Sweater weather. Yeah. I love that. And like dressing for when it's cold is tight. Guys.

Yeah. Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. Is that a different pick? Might be. Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. Is that a different pick? Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. Is that a different pick?

When it gets cold? I feel like that goes part and parcel with it. All right. All right. We'll discuss it later. I'm with you. I'm with you. Just a crisp, nice feeling coldness.

Being able to see, yeah, when you breathe out. It's fun. Like, I like being out in, like, a downtown when it's cold, too. Oh, walking around. Like, you have some stuff to do. Yeah. That's so nice. If you have like a new crush or like a new one

and you guys are like walking around outside. David. I'm sorry. Is that another one? Is that another one? How is that another one? I picked being cold. All right.

For fuck you, I just meant like I like seeing 50 on the thermometer rather than 80. I felt like he was. The numbers make rather than 80. I felt like he was. It's just the numbers make me feel better. I felt like he was going down a road. I don't know. I also think I should be able to talk about the clothing stuff. But look, I'm not running for Senate here.

That was a big part of why I picked it. Everyone's got their shirts off. No shirts. Ironically. Because that's what I want to talk about. I want to be able to talk about wearing multiple shirts. Yep.

Yeah. Don't do it. I can't talk about any of this clothes shit, huh? Okay. Okay. I think that should be a part of it getting cold. Maybe not. I'm not the one that makes these decisions.

I never have made one of these decisions. This is on you, bro. You, bro. Well, it's, bro. You, bro. Well, it's your decision. You're the judge. I'm just saying that maybe some type of fall wear was also a pit. Okay. Okay, specific.

David's got it. All right. See what's happening to me, Marissa? Move along. See what's happening to me here? Took the whole name color orange. This wouldn't have been a problem at all. Trying to tell me I can't talk about eggs over here.

I can't talk about Canada goose. Yeah. He took the entire color orange. You just picked a color. Yeah, I'm talking about clothes. Fuck this. I'm talking about the clothes. I vastly prefer, I like hoodies, I like sweaters, I like jackets, I like a bubble vest, I like

all that shit. Oh, shit! I wear fucking beanies in July, so when it finally rolls around to actual beanie season, I'm so stoked. Call me Beanie Seagull over here, man. I got a beanie only for vests. Or vests only are for autumn. It's an autumn thing.

Yeah. Yeah. I gotta get a vest. Yeah! I got a black vest, man. We gotta be the black vest boys. Oh, let's do some vests. Yeah, I got to get a vest. Yeah. I got a black vest, man. We got to be the black vest boys. Oh, let's do some vests. Yeah, some vest shit. Then we're going to do some vest shit. So many sweatshirts, and I just look at them when it's 90 out, and I'm like, man, could I find a reason to wear this?

I'll bring it and put it on when it's in an air-conditioned place. Shane will find a reason. That's how you bring up Shane. Tap out. If we're just talking about it then, I love the way I look in a cool sweatshirt. Me too. I think I look very becoming in a sweatshirt. I think as a fact, dude, the cold weather clothes are more flattering.

Especially when you get older and you realize you don't have to just get 6X everything. Yeah. Like when you realize it's kind of, you just get a tight but a long sleeve. Yeah. Yes. I'm going somewhere chilly for the rest of this week. I'm not going to say where, but I'm going to be wearing sweaters every day. Oh, yeah.

Hell yeah, dude. Holding cups with two hands. Yep. Holding cup field is what they're going to call it. Yeah. Rodney Cup. No, that's not somebody famous. That was my philosophy.

You were just going to say a dude. He's Rodney Cup, and I'm philosophy. You were just going to say a dude? You were just going to say a dude? His name's Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper. Damn it. All right. Cooper Deck. Cliff Cupstable?

Can you do characters? No. Theo Cupstable. Theo Cupstable. Rudy Cupstable. Rudy Cupstable. If anything. Yeah.

Claire Cupstable. Claire Cupstable. Claire Cupstable. Let me forget about how great. Is that Fel-table. If anything. Yeah. Claire Cubs-table. Claire Cubs-table. Claire Cubs-table. Yeah, let me forget about how great. Is that Felicia Rashad? Yeah. Yeah. Man, Felicia Rashad.

I want you to leave. I am in love. Man. Love? Huh? No, yeah, you look good, though. Present? Present day?

Any day. I make sure you go when you leave. Any day Rashad. Have you ever looked up Felicia Rashad? Sure. Any day. Okay. Her and Sally Field. Any day. What? Sally. Any day. Okay. Her and Sally Field.

Any day. What? Sally Field? It's 70 years old. Sally Field. Any day. Susan Sarandon. Any day.

She's up there. Do you watch Forever? Did you watch Forever? No. On Netflix? Current Sally Field looking very sharp. Yeah. That just came out, dude.

Watch that. I'll check it out. I'll check it out for you. Or not Forever. Maniac. Oh. I was going to watch that anyways. Okay forever Maniac Forever also very good Amazon Maniac Nate Craig

Oh is he really Yes and he's good Oh he wants to come on the pod We gotta get him on here In the next two weeks Three weeks we're gonna get you on He's so handsome You can see he's handsome I don't hate saying it. He's so handsome.

You can say he's handsome. He's walking perfect looking. He's beautiful. I just feel bad saying that about, because that's not what defines him. About anyone. I know you don't want to reduce someone to that. Yeah, yeah. He's an incredibly funny comedian, talented actor. By the way, I laughed so hard at the Chris Pine thing yet again the other day, out of

nowhere. How people often mistake me for Chris Pine. I just, out of nowhere, I started laughing at that. Like I walked into Powell's, people were like, oh shit. Oh no. I'm sorry. Chris Pine. Oh shit.

I thought you were Chris Pine. I walked to, where did I get dinner with? I had dinner with my mom at a Furi, right? We went up to the reservation desk. And they were like, sorry, we don't... Oh, you're not Chris Pine. Right this way, Mr. Carmel.

Chris Pine, you can't just have Ian's reservation. I didn't actually go to dinner with my mom there. But I have been. Nate's dope. He's funny. He does all kinds of stuff. Yeah, Nate's awesome. So yeah, Being Cold, I fucking love it. I just love every part of it. Sure. Yeah, Brie, time cold, I fucking love it. Yep. I just love every part of it. Sure. Yeah.

Bree, time for your second pick. God. Y'all, it got a little bit colder. And part of that coldness meant that I could turn on my oven. Ooh. And you know what comes out of my oven? What comes out of your oven? Straight up baked goods, y'all.

Ooh. All kinds of baked goods. Spicy bread. We got cookies. Did you? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Make the Alaska. Rewind the track.

Yes. You said you have bread that's spicy. Yes, baby. What kind of spicy? We got- Like, like, like- Nutmegs? We got cinnamon.

Oh, spices. We got maca. We got- Nice cummins? Chocolate. Cumin? Excuse me? No, cumin.

Definitely not a cumin. You think this bread's good because I'm straight? Cumin. Cumin again? I've been really trying to figure out what that stuff goes in it. Cumin Gooding Junior? Cumin Gooding Junior. The Cumin League.

Cumin mostly goes in guacamole and other Mexican foods. Cumin Eileen. Cumin. Eileen. I'm only cumin. Ernie sings. We're born to make mistakes. I thought you were going to say cumin, Eileen.

Yeah, that's what I was. That's a different part of the song. It changes time signatures. Now, I might not know what bread's made out of, but this will be good. I'm only cumin of flour and yeast I'm made. Is that what bread is made out of? Here's my one. Here's my one. Here's my one.

Did I get that right? And they say, why? Why? Tell them that it's cumin nature. Why? Why? Do you make cumin that way? Yes.

Tell them that it's cumin nature. Who is that by? Michael Jackson. Yeah, that's right. Michael Jackson. Tell them that it's cumin nature. After I heard you two sing it, the rest of it went out of my head. I understand.

Whoever originally, because it was only your version. I understand. You know the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Kuman. Yeah. We were all doing it, so okay. I understand. We'll give you a pass. You want to play with the big kids?

Fine. When you guys go to Miami, get one of those Kuman sandwiches. No, there's where we might draw a line. Someone just said, you want to play with the big kids is what he said. I meant for the kids. This fucking guy. This fucking guy. I've peeled you off the couch.

Sean, put David's shirt back on. It's not cool to take somebody else's shirt off. We changed shirts. We just swapped shirts. He's swimming in that back on. It's not cool to take somebody else's shirt off. We change shirts. We just swap shirts. Get a word. He's swimming in that 4X. I don't thought it's human nature. Yeah, baked goods.

Will you fuck up some baked goods? Baked goods. You know, I got the pumpkin bread, zucchini bread. I got the walnut date loaf. I got the spice. Just the, oh man, I love it. Chemistry, as much as it is cooking, I understand. I don't do much baking myself.

Yeah, I thought that might go untouched off the board. I'm afraid of baking because I can cook like a motherfucker, but I feel like cooking is so much I just put my heart into it. Yeah, baking is the head. It's a little some of this, some of that. Baking is of the head. Of the head. Cooking is of the heart.

You're right, Ian. You've never said something more true. No, and I won't ever again. I mean, definitely on my list. I wasn't thinking about making this stuff. That's like, that was, I was like, yeah, you get it. Banana bread. I've been hiding all kinds of shit in my bread.

Really? Yeah, I got seeds. I got walnuts. I got flaxseed meal. I love good seedy bread. I just like, I just add stuff to it. I love it, man. We make that and the sushi that I'm going to have to try?

Yes. Tight, tight. What else don't you like? Oh, no. I love it, man. We make that and the sushi that I'm going to have to try? Yes. Tight, tight. What else don't you like? Oh, no, I love making bread. We should just have a fall feast that's not Thanksgiving. It's really just seafood. I just don't like seafood. All of it. Okay.

Yeah, but a fall feast is a, that's a fucking idea. Yeah, there's a holiday that's kind of like that. No, no, no, no, no. There isn't? No, no, no, we're doing this our own shit. We're doing our own shit. We're doing own shit. We're doing our own shit. We're doing our own shit. We're doing this ourselves. Got it. We don't gotta tell

Papa Thanksgiving about nothing. And by the way, Flag Day is nothing like that. I don't know why. You're right. What is Flag Day? I don't know. Dumb. I don't know. It's not even a day off, is it? No. I hope not. Better not be. Not after what's been done in the name of the flag this last couple weeks.

It's a day where you just kneel for 24 hours straight. I don't think we deserve any days off. Baked goods, amazing pick. David, time for your second pick. Man, you guys are taking all my good picks. I know, you guys are pissing me off. Fuck you, dude. Here's what I'm saying.

Candy. Yeah? Wow, good job. I just, I don't fuck with candy. Fall is really the only time. Because I'm not a big, we've discussed it. I don't like candy when I'm hot. Yeah, I don't like candy when I'm hot.

Seriously, because there's no candy that cools you down. There's nothing worse than chocolate when I'm hot. God, you're all hot, then you eat chocolate. Oh, yeah, it's just like now the chocolate's as hot as I am. It's already melted. What are you going to lick it on some wrapper like a monster? Hands are all gunked. We were at the zoo.

If I've been outside walking around with my lover in the cold all day, I come in, I pop in a Reese's single. What's better than that? What do you mean a Reese's single? You know, the little ones. Not the regular. The little ones that are wrapped in gold. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a miniature. A miniature. A mini cup. We were at the zoo and Zach and Lucas. Single and a double. I know you're not mad about me correcting you because we got to get it right. No, no, no. You're right.

Reese is single. Yeah, Reese is miniature. Yeah, Reese is mini. A single, I guess, would just be what I saved in a sleeve. Yeah. Which happens rarely, but it's happened. Tell them that it's peanut butter. Just quick Reese's shout out to the new kind with cookies in them.

The Big Cup. What? The Big Cup. What? Big Cup has been doing some crazy shit. I know exactly what you're talking about. There's crunchies in it. He's the guy waiting.

He's the guy chilling outside every time. Big Cup. Hey, what's up, Big Cup? What up, Big Cup? What's up, Big Cup? It's got some crunchies in it. It's delicious. We were at the San Diego Zoo.

Big Cup is going to break your thumbs if you welch on that bet. He wants to. You thought the Patriots plus seven. Doesn't matter. Fuck you. Pay me. Yeah. Big Cup has said, give me a reason like a thousand times in the last week.

Give me a fucking reason. He didn't mean give me a raisin. Give me one reason to stay here. That's what he meant, right? And I'll break your fucking hands. Tracy Chapman. You were just talking about Tracy Chapman for a while. Break fucking hands. I got to get You were just talking about Tracy Chapman for a while. Break fucking hands.

I got to get it out, but to gross chocolate. Zach and Ricketts were at the San Diego Zoo, and Zach had a melted weed chocolate, and he just peeled it, and Ricketts looked at it like, I don't... I mean, I just... The thought of, like, melted hot chocolate on a 90-degree day. No, hot candy is gross.

Hot candy is gross when it's hot. Skittles when it's hot? Come on. All they do is gum up the works. Sour Patch Kids? I'll eat it. It's not hot food. Is there any good hot candy?

Let's try to think. Let's think about it. Well, candy that's good when it's hot out? Well, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does a Popsicle count as a candy? No, a Popsicle doesn't count as candy. It's a Popsicle.

Dessert, dessert, dessert. And then also, you can put candy bars in the fridge or freezer, but that's not good. That's not a good summer treat either. That's what I'm saying. Maybe a sour candy, because that at least makes you sweat. It activates the glands. Have you ever had a Warhead the last day of school? It was still like, ah.

Not too hot out. Or Laffy Taffy. Girl, check that. No. Candy necklace? I'm telling you, candy is for the fall. No, candy is for the cold weather. It's a cold weather trade.

It's like, I don't even think about. We're doing important work here, yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hang on, everybody. No. What about like a blow pop? Not for me. When do you eat a sucker on a stick? The spring?

It could be sexy. Like a dum-dum. At night. A chupa-chop? A chupa-chop at night. A nighttime chupa-chop is the closest we come. But I don't really... I'm not a July chupa-chop.

I like the buttered rum. A chupa-chop? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Chupa Chup. I'm not a July Chupa Chup. Because I like the buttered rum. A Chupa Chup? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Oh, sure, sure, sure. I like the cookies and cream. You know what I'm saying? Strawberry and cream Chupa Chup.

No cream in the summer. It's hot. Milk was a bad choice. No cream in the summer. Strawberries and cream, though. Not in the summer. Not for me. Okay.

Not for me. I hear you. Thank you. And I witness your experience. I will also toss frozen gummy bears in. That's all I want. Whoa. That's a good one. That's frozen. That's gaming the summer. Not for me. Okay. Not for me. I hear you. Thank you. And I witness your experience. I'll also toss frozen gummy bears in. That's all I want. Whoa. That's a good one.

That's frozen. That's gaming the system. I've never had a frozen gummy bear. It's really good. Okay. Yeah. I just, for me, candy's a fall sport. You're 100% right.

For me. If anything, these are the exceptions that prove the rule. Yeah. Candy off season, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It gets cold, you get candy. That was very true. You're out with your lover and you split a candied apple. Maybe something like sure. Yeah. Yeah. It gets cold, you get candy. That was very true. You're out with your lover and you split a candied apple. Maybe something like that. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Candy.

Crack a Reese's in half. One for me, one for you, babe. Oof, man. Reese's is... Have a Nestle Crunch. That's how you know you're in love. Nestle Crunch is so good. Oh, you know what I like is, have you had those new Hershey's Golden Pretzel?

No, I haven't yet. No, that sounds great, though. That might be a tonight thing. I look at it every fucking time I go to the grocery store. We've got to wrap this up so we can get candy. Everybody make your last seven picks. Sean, speaking of other picks, time for your second and third picks. My second pick?

I know, I know. On the jog, on the jog. I'm going to pick a big, crunchy pile of leaves. Oh, a big, crunchy pile of leaves. A big, crunchy pile of leaves. I was definitely. They were very, very, very prevalent in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. They got those crunchy kind?

Yes. And it's just, we would just, I mean. The Great Plains. Huge piles where you wouldn't, you just couldn't get hurt. And we were children. But like, we would jump off stuff into piles of leaves, which now seems crazy. Backyard wrestling shit. No, it was great.

But just the, yeah, just the whole, that's just how I want to bunch it up into that one thing. But yeah, it was just. Or in a land of pine, as much as it is of trees that do lose their leaves. So just for us children, we just jumped into a big pile of brown needles. Yeah, brown needles. So it wasn't as deciduous as maybe. No, thank you. Yeah, not deciduous.

Yeah, no. Evergreen. Evergreen. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. Conifers. Conifers. Conifers. Conifers.

Although I feel like Washington State has more leafy trees than you. Oregon's still got it, though. Certainly in Eastern Oregon. It's got them. You get in the neighborhoods. They're not big old piles, but just like. They'd be wet. They'd always be wet pile of leaves. They were not wet.

Yeah. That's a good point. They were fucking bone dry. Wet leaves are the worst. Wet leaves suck. They were not wet. Yeah, that is, that's a good point. They were fucking bone dry in Sioux Falls. Wet leaves suck. They stick to all your clothes. Oh, that feeling of like a wet leaf on the, like in,

you ever get a wet leaf like in your hood? Oh, you're not even You look like you're gonna throw up. Hates them. You know, you know like people who take,

who do the yard work? Yeah. They hate the wet leaves. They're like, oh, what a mess. Yeah. You break them up so hard. Yeah.

No, definitely not. Crunchy leaves are fun. It is fun to Yeah. You break them up so hard. Yeah. No, definitely not. Crunchy leaves are fun. It is fun to sort of like tromp around in them. Oh, yeah. It sounds cool. And yeah, it's like before snow, which sucks. So the leaves are like a gentleman's snow where you're like, okay. See, it's funny.

You guys are from places where snow sucks. In Oregon. Oh, it never happens. Yeah. So it's like, whoa. So when it does, you guys are like. Yeah. I did love it whenever it snowed in Oregon. It's like a good

Nicolas Cage movie. It's like, whoa, alright. Family man. Alright, yeah. Family man, get out of here. Was that my last movie? The Weatherman. Are those both good? The Weatherman was Family Man, too. Y'all seen Mandy? No, I knew Mandy was supposed to be good.

Insane. Please see Tonight. We'll eat a pretzel bar? We might have a little candy bar. If we got here on time, a chicken wing. It is my birthday. We'll get out of here. It is my birthday.

We'll get out of here. Okay, big old crunchy pile of leaves, and your third pick? My third pick, and I think I can still pick it, Getting Dark Early. Can I still pick that? Yes. I picked that, right? Yes. So that can still pick it, Getting Dark Early. Can I still pick that? Yeah. I already picked that, right? Yes.

So that is, so it gives you the excuse. I'm finally, the older I get, I'm coming into my own. My boy loves going to bed at night. I don't love nice, beautiful weather all the time. I just don't. I don't like sunlight all the time. It's not, it doesn't mean I'm like. Says the man who moved to California.

Southern California. I used to think that made you like a depressed person if you want if you liked it when it was dark and gloomy and shit i just like it when it gets dark early i think it's fun i mean i don't you know i like those days where it's light out till 9 30 but i it's it's just a fun it's it's the the year has a funny way of taking care of you where as soon as you're tired of it, it's like, all right. I'll back off for sure. We did a lot this summer. I understand.

It's like a great waiter at Red Robin. More fries? No? Fantastic. I'll bring the check. I'll take those sauces in front of you. Let me get those out of the way. Let me get those out of the way. It's almost like, here's some darkness to think about what you've done. Yeah.

Not in a bad way. That's the only to think about what you've done. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Not in a bad way. That's the only way I hear that is in a bad way. Yeah. Think about what you've done the way I said it. I'm your mom.

This is why Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah follow me on them. No, but you guys figured it out. You guys got a good thing going. We knew. And you say that

like you're Jewish. That's all right. Oh, yeah. 100%. Have you got a parm? Parm is for everything. That's all right. Oh, yeah. 100%. Have you had a bar mitzvah? Bar mitzvah and everything. Yeah. All right.

Yeah. You got it. Yeah, I just like it getting dark out early, man. It gets me in, like, oddly, like, just a juiced good mood. I just love. Yeah, I'm getting into. The autumn version of it is fun where it's like, ooh, it's 630. It's dark.

That winter where it's like, oh, it's 430. And I used to hate it because I'd be like, I just got off work. Yeah. Right. I was the same.30, it's dark. That winter where it's like, oh, it's 4.30. Gosh, dude. I used to hate it because I'd be like, I just got off work. Yeah. Right. I was the same. I just got off work, dude.

With my schedule, I'm going to have some dark. Yeah, it's going to be dark. Dark to dark. Go to work, leave work dark. Yeah, dark to dark. It's going to be like Norwegian winter for you.

Yeah. Yeah, shout out to my mom. They're going through that right now. Midnight sun. It's not yet that it's dark. It's never where they are because they're in southern Norway, so it's never dark 24. Northern Norway. Northern Norway is their 24.

They get like, but they get like, you know. I thought it was the opposite, though. It's all light right now, right? No, in summer it's mostly light. It's wild. Yeah, getting dark early. Super into it. Probably good for you to sneak onto private property

and do your kickflips in the darkness. Go piss on door handles. Christ, they're 900s. I know what you get up to. Yeah, your pop shoving. I just stand up there. I'm like, come out to the quarter pipe, bro. You need to eat dinner off this method grab.

I'm going to do it. You're nolly McTwist. Flat like a fucking lunch table, bro. Nolly McTwist. Up there high-fiving fucking lunch table, bro. Nolly McTwist. Up there high-fiving Jesus. Nolly McTwist. Grind in the Statue of Liberty. That's what you like to do, isn't it?

You criminal. Devious. As soon as it gets dark. It's dark out. Let's go. Let's get out there. It's dark out. Nobody likes when you do that out. Let's go. Let's get out there. It's dark out. No, no. Nobody likes when you do that voice.

Yeah, I don't like it. Laura hates it. We hate it. Everyone you love hates it. Laura. No. Stop it. You feel like that voice? Is that Laker girls?

No, no. That's not Laker girls. That's auditory. People have headphones in. They have headphones in right now. That's not an Lakers guy are in the same family. It's the opposite of ASMR. I don't know what that means.

You should have said F-S-M-R. What's ASMR? What's ASMR? Oh, it's like that. I'll show you some videos. Okay. Where people talk very softly. Oh, sure.

And I'm going to eat a pickle in the microphone. Yeah, I'm sort of what I was doing. And it gives people goosebumps or weird brain orgasms. It's kind of sexy, but not. Some people are really into it. I know. That voice I just did, some people are really into it. We don't know him.

No, no, no. We don't know him. Nobody. What, D12? Yeah, yeah. Who are? Nobody's into it? D12 and all of their girlfriends are super into that voice.

D12 is terrible? Who is into that? Bizarre? Nobody. Bizarre? Ne. Bizarre? Necro's probably into it. We're moving on. All right.

We're dark early. We will not find peace on this topic. David, it's time for you a third pick. I like this because this couples with Sean's pick. Okay.

TV being back on. Yeah. Yeah. In the summer, I don't give a shit. I'm like, there's no new empire and it doesn't matter i'm gonna be out with my friends grilling but now when it gets dark earlier i'm in the house earlier

i mean not so much because i just stand up but like you know it's just like you mean though yeah on the last night he comes back basketball comes back yeah well it's just nope but yeah it does okay i'm sorry we're talking about scripted and lightly scripted reality. Okay. Scripted and lightly scripted. But no, for sure, like SNL's back. Yeah, it's fun.

It's like right around the time. Because some are, if you did it right, you ran it ragged. Yes. You know what I mean? You rode hard and put it away wet. Yeah. And then by the time that shit comes, you're like, yeah, man, I do just want to watch American Housewives.

Yeah. Yeah. I watched Walking Dead last night and just tuned out for a little bit. Like, yep. Yeah. It's great. I watched the new Fresh Off the Boat. Loved it.

Now, Ballers comes on in the summer, but also- It's got summer written all over it. Ballers is a quince of Miami, LA show. Quick sidebar. Quick sidebar. What the fuck is going on in Ballers? I haven't watched the season finale yet. Oh, wait.

You guys already watched it? No, we haven't. We're like three episodes behind. We're two behind. Oh, would you guys want to catch up tonight? Because I'm two behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's fucking weird.

I don't know what they're doing. The last episode we saw. A little short shark jumping action. Yeah, but this show started its first episode. It was posing over a shark. So it's hard to say a joke. But something else is going on. They're in a weird space that they don't.

The White's storyline. They're tackling race right now, which is. Not well, though. Tricky ballers situation. They're also tackling the NCAA. Yeah. Just in general. They're putting everyone on blast. No one's safe from ballers situation. They're also tackling the NCAA. Yeah. Just like in general. Putting everyone on blast.

No one's safe from ballers this year. God, it's like when someone. And Spencer's like low-key a bad guy. Yes. That's what I don't like. It's like when someone dumb criticizes something that should be criticized,

but they do it the wrong way. Yeah, but you're like, you're dumb as hell. Makes that thing that should be criticized where you're like, well, now hold on. Maybe it is good. Yeah, but you're like, you're dumb as hell. Makes that thing that should be criticized where you're like, well, now hold on. Maybe it is good.

No, I 100% know. Yeah, Ballers is not where I'd like it to be. We'll write, the three of us will write the next season of it. That's what I'm saying. Get at us.

For like scale. We'll do it for way cheaper and just to make sure it doesn't get fucked up. Yeah, they blew it. They were coming in so hot and they picked like the three worst season arcs.

Yeah. And one of those arcs is Nija Houston. Yeah. We got to do the sidebar. Because I have so much to say. Ballers is real. I'm glad that you guys did too. Because every week, I don't watch it with you guys.

I watch it at my house. I know, I know. And I'm always like, should I just text him? I just want to. Like, you guys think Spencer's going down. He's being a bad dude. He's being a bad dude. This season is just like 3D watch ballers.

No. You don't watch ballers. All right. It's exactly what you think. We're not selling it. We'll talk about it more. We'll talk about it more. I gave Entourage a shot for you.

Entourage fucking rules. But it's very problematic and homophobic. It was hard for me. But you have your thing and enjoy it. It's also very homomatic and homophobic. It was hard for me, but you have your thing and enjoy it. It's also very homomatic and problem-phobic. Yeah, it is. Problem-phobic. It is because that problem gets solved

at the end of the episode. It's problem-phobic. They're scared of problems, dude. Homomatic? This is grease lightning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Folks, this is the time of year when it's cold out. We all know that.

We know we kind of want to be outside because it's beautiful. There's the night sky, the full moon. It's creepy as shit. What can you do outside that you couldn't do in the summer? Well, you can do it in the summer, but it's better in the fall. You can light a damn fire. Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying do magic in your fire.

Harness the spooky shit. Have a two-handed beverage and whisper your enemy's names into your fire. Harness the spooky shit. Have a two-handed beverage. And whisper your enemy's names into a fire. And you will have a great fall. Listen, I, you know, I'm not big on. I'm just in there whispering. Shane. Shane.

Shane fucking Torres. Carlos O'Neil. My favorite is Alejandro. Alejandro Shaughnessy so yeah like a nice outdoor fire pit fire even you can start lighting fires inside

if you got that kind of thing yeah yeah yeah fuck yeah if you're if you're lucky enough yeah that's one of the best feelings

I love lighting a damn fire I love fire dude and now we can throw another picket. So like being like having some baggy shit on or like some nice sweater. Yeah, yeah. And a two-handed drink right in front. That's what I was looking forward to. Right in front of the fire?

Right. And getting into this draft, I was like, start stacking them. Looking like Drake in a music video, just all cozy. Oh my God, Drake is so cozy. He's cozy. He's a cozy boy. Turtleneck. It's because he's from the one Toronto.

Uh-huh. Yeah. He gets how to be cozy. He's getting that beard's coming in. Yeah, he's, well, came in. That beardleneck. It's because he's from the one Toronto. Uh-huh. Yeah. He gets how to be cozy. He's getting that. Beard's coming in. Yeah, he's, well, came in. That beard came in. Oh, dang.

Beards. Yeah. Is that part? Oh, we shouldn't say that. I know. Is beard seasonal? I don't. Sean's the only one here with a beard.

Lazy is not seasonal. I just kind of grow it until it's where I want it. I've got a mustache myself, the thinking man's beard. A well-designed beard. Yeah. Yeah. An editorial beard. The doom and groom.

I'm just going to go with a mess. Editorial beard, exactly. I've got a mess. A collection of short stories. I've got a graphic novel. Fucking, yeah, the sound of the fury over here. Over here with an old- The sound of the furry.

With a garage sale comic book on my face. That's right. I've got a couple of short stories. Yeah, a little short story here and there. Yeah, probably not. This is an anthology. So Light and Fire, it is good. I love the smell of it.

Something I was going to pick, because I don't know if it is fires, but maybe it is fires, but that weird campfire smell that the autumn has. Sometimes. It worries me a little bit sometimes. Is it fires? Is it people lighting fires in their houses

and that's just wafting? Maybe it is. I think so. That mixed with like dryer stuff. Like the dryer going off. Even though it's not a fault that the dryer going off. Your dryer goes off, right? What are you talking about?

Just the scent of that in the. Oh, that heavy. That like, I don't even know what it is, but it just. Like laundry? Is that what it is? I thought it was the dry, when laundry is drying. Yeah. Yeah, that's a laundry smell.

What do you mean? Like when you walk by a laundry room and there's that vent? Yes. Oh, okay, yeah. That's a laundry smell. Yeah, but it's of the dryer, not from the laundry. I mean, I know the laundry is in the dryer, but it's not from the washer. It's a couple dryer sheets in a dryer.

I think it's the dryer sheets that you're smelling. Listen, it's not coming from the washer. No. It's coming from the dryer. So when I said the dryer. The dryer. I'm aware it's laundry. And so clothes drying is autumnal.

To me, kind of. Well, you can't hang them on the line. That's true. I'm with it. Good for you, Sean. It really blends into the melanger smells. I'm talking about more of a campfire smell. I know. I was saying how I think

they're kind of similar is what I was saying. Probably more like nine now. He need ten? He need ten? You got it? You're good for ten. Okay. It's the funniest video that's been out in years. Have you seen the In My Feelings video?

No. What? It's so funny. You've never seen the video? What do you mean, In My Feelings? The Drake song. The Drake song, In My Feelings? No, I actually haven't.

It's really great. Okay. Yeah, anyway. It's got a sketch at the beginning and at the end, and then in between, it's a great music video. It's just really funny. It really is. Drake is a star.

There's this Instagram or Vine or whatever, famous guy, Anna. It's great. Yeah. It's just great. It's great. Drake is a star. There's this Instagram or Vine or whatever famous guy in it. It's great. It's just great. Drake is so funny. Felicia Rashad and Lala Anthony are in it. Yep. That's great. I figured you would have seen it.

You love Lala? Anybody. Since like for as long as Felicia. You got this older women thing that I didn't know. Lala's not an older woman. I grew up around a lot of older, strong black women. And it got in me. Lala's like 40, right?

Am I crazy? Older than us. Lala was 37. She's Mello's age. Yeah, she's like Mello's age. So she's probably like 33. Maybe. No, she's probably actually, she is older than that. That's what Melo's age. So she's probably like 33. Maybe. Really? No, she's probably actually older than that.

That's what I'm saying. I'm not looking up. I guess I just think very rich people are older than me, but that's not true. We're also getting to the point where they're all younger than us now. Lala has like a matriarchal. No, what is her? Lala has the air of an. Yeah, she is.

She's matriarchal. She's very motherly. Yeah, she's got kids. She's always talking about her kids. That's what I think of it. Yeah, Lala Anthonyriarchal. She's very motherly. Yeah, she's got kids. She's always talking about her kids. That's why I think of it. Yeah, Lala Anthony. Fire. Fire.

She's 5'6". Fire. She would work perfectly. Fire. Yoga, fire. Yoga, flame. How about burning leaves, huh? Anybody's grandpa ever did a burn pile?

Well, I mean, a lot of people burn shit. I bet they did. Just west of Beaverton, that happened a lot. And that's what I think you're smelling when you put your nose in the air in the fall. Yeah, maybe that is that. And you're like, who's got a fire going? It's some grandpa's burn pot.

Yeah, but also people drying clothes, though. You gotta quit trying to shoehorn. Sean, yeah. I just wanted to see what Sean. He didn't hear it yet. Sean. Dave was downstairs getting a bevy. Sean went off on some weird.

What's he talking about? Drying clothes? Yeah, man. He's trying to say that the smell that comes out of a dryer is the same as burning leaves. Sort of. Sort of like a campfire is what I was saying. No, it's downy. Yeah, it's a downy dryer.

That's a downy. That's where we got. The fact that you're so damn likable and everybody loves the kid. You're going to get people who agree with you on this on Twitter. I'm here to tell you right now, they don't mean it. Do you? Yes, you do. No, they don't.

Yes, you do. I have faith. They just love you. I have faith. Nobody else thinks those two things are the same. Yeah, I'm not going to say any names, but I'm dealing with a celebrity who I just love for him, and he's doing wrong stuff oh sure and yeah it's hard for me is it dl hugley is it sean jordan it's damon wayans i'm pissed that he left the set of yeah man come on lethal weapon you signed a contract he left the set of lethal women he says he wants to quit and do stand-up which is like yeah great

let's have more people do stand-up that's what's making it so easy to get all these gigs right now. You mean a return to stand up or whatever? Yeah. Okay. Let us have a turn. It's time for my third and fourth picks. Wow. And then the fifth round will be a lightning round.

Like, woo, with my third pick, I'm taking Snugglin'. Yeah. I was gonna go there next. That cuffing season ass shit. Snugglin', man. Yeah. One in the hand, one in the bag, Snugglin'. I was gonna call their names that cuffing season ass shit snuggling man one in the hand one in the bag snuggling I am so fucking stoked that fall is here

I know I'm really really excited it's not even right around the corner anymore it's right here right here bro October 8th we're in it I love snuggling when it's cold man I love snuggling when it's cold, man.

I love snuggling when it's hot out. Me too, but they don't. I'm not afraid of my body, but they don't. We got big bodies. Listen, I'm with you. Stop it. Big bodies. We're with you 100%.

We got these big, warm bodies. I've definitely had in the summer, like, listen, you just have to go over there. I'm like, you know what? Get you a girl who will snuggle you in the hot weather. I got, yeah. I mean, I found three all time, maybe four all time. Sally Field, Lala. Lala's down for a hot snuggle.

Yeah, hot snuggle. That sounds like a drink. Hot snuggle. Maybe we could have a- You get caught up in the hot snuggle. Hot snuggle. hot snuggle hot snuggle I love you for going with the big nuts

yeah I've hit myself a hot snuggler here and there but like in the autumn it's just much better that window's cracked open

all of a sudden you're not a liability you're a resource you need the heat yeah oh yes body heat no get you a big boy for winter yeah big boy for the winter I've helped a couple a liability, you're a resource. You need the heat. Body heat. Get you a big boy for winter.

I've helped a couple of thin young men survive a winter or two. Some of those skinny Portland guys. Yeah, I get them through. All skin and bones and Elliot Smith lyrics. Bunch of sad fucks. Can fit into any clothes and still dress

bad. That shit blows my mind. Where's my t-shirt in the morning? You can just go to the store, Jason, and you look like an idiot? That shit is crazy to me. You're an asshole.

Do you know how hard it is for me to dress? You look great. Thank you very much. Thank you very much, but it takes... I have five of this t-shirt because I can't get them

in size. You fucking asshole. You dress like a dummy. I got three of this dumb-shirt because I can't get them in size. Yup. You fucking asshole. Yeah. You dress like a dummy. I got three of this dumb sweater. I don't even like it. See?

It looks good though. It does. I'm going through Nordstrom's like, hmm, meh, meh. I go through every clothes

at Nordstrom's. Yeah, you go through every clothes at Nordstrom's. Every clothes. All of the clothes. Hey guys, I went through every clothes

out there. Do you guys have any more clothes? I went through every one of the clothes. guys have any more clothes I went through every one of the clothes meanwhile like fucking I don't know Keith some guy named Keith

is out there fucking fucking up 32 waist yeah doing whatever the fuck he wants out here fuck you Keith god damn it

I'd be so Gucci'd out I almost bought a Gucci sweater in Portland whoa oh really it was gold you were gonna start with the sweater. Yeah.

It was going to be weird. I get it, though. Dive in. We were going to have some weird nights of the roost. I don't think it was going to be weird. What are you supposed to start with? Because you have, like, I've noticed sometimes we'll be chilling, and it's like regular Ian. But then every now and again, I feel like you dip into the date clothes a little bit

when we go out. Yeah. And you're like, oh, Ian's flexing, though. I feel like you have the other, like if I wore a Gucci sweater, it'd be like, weird choice with those camouflage shorts, David. That's the problem

with glow-ups is they gotta go head to toe all at once. I have the support and cast of character. That's what I'm saying. He has like, Ian's got a lot of good pants I've noticed. Good fits. Some good pants. Good fits. You said it's a bold move to start with a Gucci sweatshirt. What are you supposed

to start with? A loafer. Like a hat? A loafer. A loafer and then a hat. Like you gotta have a clean undershirt. The loafers you just wear

around the house. Like what do you show to the public? Do you even, I think you're out of your element. Well, I mean, I'm not gonna wear

my Gucci loafers out, but I guess if I was rich enough to buy Gucci loafers. Do you know what loafers are? See how fast you can hop with them Gucci loafers? Yeah, I know what loafers are. I was thinking of slippers. Yeah, to buy Gucci loafers. Do you know what loafers are? See how fast you can hop with them Gucci loafers? Yeah, I know what loafers are. I was thinking of slippers.

Yeah, all right. Loafers. Loafers. All right. For loafing. But even Gucci slides are acceptable out of the house. What did I just pick? Cuddling.

Cuddling. Snuggling, yeah. And we're talking about Gucci. God, we went so far afield. Cuddle. Snuggling. There wasn't even anything funny. We were just having a very serious conversation.

Just talking about Gucci shit. Welcome back to Gucci conversations. You have no idea how many nights I've just got on the Gucci website trying to get myself in the game. Just like if I come up on some dough, I get these three key pieces, and it'll unlock the whole thing. These three key pieces.

Jim Corden wears a lot of Gucci. That's what I hear. Famous people are wearing a lot of Gucci again. Gucci's hot. Yeah, Gucci's hot. Which is almost why I want to be a Burberry guy. See? That's the other move.

You know what I mean? Sean, that's the other move. I see Burberry every day on my lunch break. I see Burberry. Burberry. I've heard it smells good. Well, that's the other move. I see Burberry every day on my lunch break. I see Burberry. Burberry. I've heard it smells good. Well, that's what Ludovic said. I got a Burberry Cologne.

All around the world with a microphone, Ludovic's smelling like Burberry Cologne. Time to get rough. Time to see you dance. Do it while you fucking. Yeah. God bless. God bless Chris Bridges.

Yeah, struggling when it's called out. It's just great. I just love it bless Chris Bridges. Yeah, struggling when it's called out. It's just great. I just love it. I love pulling somebody close, warming them up. Agreed. You know?

Yeah. It's just good to squeeze on somebody sometimes. It's good. It's good to get squeezed on. I like watching TV with just like on somebody. Yeah, I know you.

I like having somebody on me watching TV. Yeah. Curled up on top of me like a cat. Yeah, it's just like a nice it's like a nice warm feeling. There's times like we'll be sitting on the couch like when I'm in Portland and I'm just like, Laura, why don't you maybe want to be like over here, you know?

A little bit. Just kind of like on just like head on my stomach or something like that. I need you to do that gross voice and she leaves. Yeah. And then I talk about how much it I don't want to do it. You guys are going to get pissed when I do it. Don't you fucking do it. I'll get mad. I don't want you to disrespect that flower. It is my birthday in two and a half hours. All right.

And if you do that voice, I'm going to have a bad birthday. I'll just do that voice and talk about how much I like stew, you know, make it real gross. Oh, gross. That's the grossest thing you could talk about. Do you ever get into a relationship

and you realize you can't snuggle with someone? Yeah. It usually doesn't last much longer. Isn't that weird? I'll get into like a romantic situation. I usually won't take it to a relationship if we can't snuggle. I had a boyfriend two boyfriends ago where we couldn't hold hands and walk because our arms were different lengths. And it was like our bodies are telling us something.

And then he cheated on me. I can't do that. That would be less of a deal breaker for me than a snuggling thing. Yeah. Because I never did smell wrong. I get it. I don't care. I've never wanted to hold someone's hand walking down the street ever in my whole life.

But I don't mind it. I don't mind it. I'm like, fine. But when we're together and we can't be up on... There's nobody around. That's when we get up on each other. That's the point, right? We get to just talk about fun stuff and get up on each other. Yeah. Wear your volleyball shirt. about fun stuff and get up on each other. Yeah.

Wear your volleyball shorts. I don't give a shit. Get up on this. I'll put my thick socks on. We'll have us a time. Like thick socks. Thick socks. Yeah.

Ooh, we shouldn't mention this. Okay. My number four pick, carving up a pumpy. I love carving a pumpkin. Are you a pumpkin guy? I'm a pumpkin guy. Are you a little pump? Oh, yeah.

LJ melted him last year. Little pump. Oh, yeah. I melted them last year. Little pump. Little pump. Los Angeles melted them last year. Yeah, dude. It melted my pumpkins. It was such a bummer. I hated it.

But I love the whole process. Oh, yeah. I love putting something on Halloweeny and then getting a couple of pumpkins, sometimes with a lover, and just cutting them open, carving out them guts. Pulling out the guts is fun. Yeah. When you start to see like, dude. Separating the seeds so you can cook the seeds later. Pulling out the guts is fun. Yeah, get the guts off. Separating the seeds so you can cook the seeds later.

Do you bake the seeds? Oh, yeah. Wow. Your artistic side comes out. Put some cumin on those seeds? Make some paprika. Put cumin on the seeds. There it is.

There it is. A little paprika. Cumin nature. A paprika. A paprika. A paprika. You're a paprika in the streets. She's a super paprika.

She's real paprikarik-ay now. To go back to the ludicrous, a lady in the streets, paprik in the bird. That's what I was trying to get to, and I fucked it up pretty bad. Yeah, and then let your artistic side get out. I never get too crazy with it, but I'll make a fun spooky pumpkin. It's just fun to see where you can... It seems so daunting right away. I love sawing it.

I love any activity that you have to put newspaper down. Yeah, that's a fun one. Pumpkin carving. Love making. Bird ownership. Turkey frying. Gerbils.

Hamsters. Cage animals. I love seeing them light up for the first time going out on the porch and being like, ooh, look. Standing out.

You get the candle lit and you're like, fuck. You don't even know what it looks like without the candle. You don't know. No, that glow is different. Do you ever do the kits where you can trace intricate things?

Yeah, you trace it? I like that. I go freehand. I do not do that. Do you do spooky or cute? I'll do, it depends on the year. I'll probably do spooky this year. I did spooky last year.

Maybe I'll do cute. Maybe there's enough spooky. Maybe I'll do cute. We'll see. For me, it feels like a spooky year. Maybe I'll be cute. Maybe there's enough spooky. Maybe I'll be cute. We'll see. For me, it feels like a spooky year. I can't know until I have that pumpkin. Uh-huh. You got to see what's up with it.

You got the artistic skills to make something? I do okay. Okay. I'm not out here like, you know, they're not going to put my pumpkin in the gallery. Not in a BuzzFeed list. No, it's not on the BuzzFeed list. I've been known to write stuff, make skateboard stuff, you know? Sure.

Maybe some stairs. You got a Stussy pumpkin out there? Stussy? A CCS and a Stussy pumpkin. You know what? The Osiris logo. I was like, did Sean do a Stussy pumpkin last year? Because that just came to mind.

That would be the funniest thing ever. You should. Yeah. I'll get a Stussy pumpkin. Yeah, but carving up a pumpkin. Love it. Bree, time for you a fourth pick. I'm going to go ahead and Sean Jordan this and say basketball coming back.

Damn it. He knew. But I like basketball. You do? I'm going to go ahead and Sean Jordan this and say basketball coming back. Damn it. But I like basketball. You do? I also like basketball. I know. You love basketball. And I don't give a shit about any other sport at all. So I love this time of year when I'm like, yeah, the points are starting to matter.

You got all the scrimmages. And then it starts to mean something. You see the sort of lineups come together. You see these guys. you've been hearing rumors about how they work together, but now you see the teamwork and you see the team come together. Is Myers Leonard gonna break out this year?

Is it finally gonna happen? He's been tearing it up in the preseason. It's just, it gets so serious. So is Myers Leonard gonna break out? Lemon. Myers Leonard, we've become friends. Yeah, that's right. I heard.

Yeah, the highlight of my life. What's his tattoos say on his biceps? Oh, God. Faith and something else. It says Ian. Grace, there's Ian

and Carmel. He's got on there. It's fun talking to him because he's so big. Yeah, is he sweet? I don't get to feel small very often. He's so sweet.

He's a real, yeah. He seems very sweet. Myers Leonard, there's a lot of people in Portland listening to this. Quit. I understand they paid him a lot of money. Is anybody really being assholes to you? Yeah, people are like really being assholes. I mean, it's sports.

People are going to be. Stop it. He's a cool guy. He's nice. He's very nice. You know, he's like just a good dude who like. Has had a lot of support. Yeah.

From the organization and that people might see that, may disagree with that. It's not Myers' fault. It's a gear out of contract. What, was he supposed to say no? Seriously. He clearly works hard in the off season.

He cut his hair and he's ready to play basketball and I'm here to support him. Hell yeah. And Nurk. I think Nurk's got it. Nurk was hitting threes. Nurk's a. Hell yeah. And Nurk. I think Nurk's got it. Nurk is hitting threes. Nurk's a monster this year. Blazer talk.

For those of you who don't know. Yeah, basketball coming back. We're 10 days from the season. Yeah, that's awesome. It's awesome. It's fun being in Portland when that happens too because the city kind of like, you know, galvanizes the basketball town. It's our only sport. It's our only sport.

Well, soccer people will lose their mindize me. It's our only sport. Oh, yeah. Basketball and baseball. Well, soccer people will lose their mind hearing that, but it's... Yeah, but come on. It was a basketball town long before it was a fucking soccer town.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're different seasons, right? I mean, I'm not coming off the top rope. I mean, the Timbers are playing right now, too, I think. Or it's a playoff.

When basketball comes, it makes me think of school starting, too. And, you know, you... I don't know. People throwing the fucking shooting hoops. It feels good.

Yeah. Throwing the pumpkin around. Throwing the pumpkin. There it is. It does feel good. The orange pumpkin. Just like shooting. With two hands on that pumpkin drink.

Shooting around in outdoors. Yeah. Like right before it gets too cold. In a covered play area. And it's got to be kind of cold because you get hot when you play basketball. Oh, you're telling me. This is my season to not sweat. I'm starting to sweat a little.

A little. Let's not mention not sweating. That's my favorite pick. Basketball coming back. So fucking fun. It's so much fun this time of year, too. There's still so much hope. Everybody's okay.

Hopeful. Everybody but the Phoenix Suns, probably. Are still in it. You know, in the magic. They don't even know what fall is. Yeah. Everyone in Phoenix is like, what are they talking about? I don't know.

What? Yeah. I haven't held anything with two hands in my whole life. They didn't talk about cement starting on fire in the middle of the day. People in Phoenix are going to get a condition if we keep talking about them. We talk so much shit about Phoenix. Oh, no. It's like, it's bizarro Portland.

They don't like it. They don't like it. I don't know what we've done wrong. We liked it. It's bizarro Portland. They don't like it. They don't like it. I don't know what we've done wrong. I liked it. When did we go to Phoenix? You weren't at Bird City. No. I was with Malloy.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. That's crazy that you liked it. I'll confuse those two again. My other one, bro. I also went to Phoenix with Malloy and had a great time with him. Yeah. Maybe that's the key.

He's just got to be in Phoenix. You've got gotta go with the modern day Thunder Dan Marley Mike Malloy David it's time for your fourth pick my fourth pick

is it's very lazy but it's totally true Nights In oh yeah because I never wanna do that in the spring

in the spring and the summer if I stay in I'm like I feel like you're squandering I'm like you fucking loser dude also it stays light soandering. I'm like, you fucking loser, dude. Also, it stays light so long. It's like, you sure you don't want to come out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You sure? That was the right part of it. But in the fall, I will cut that shit. The night succumbs. 4.30. You don't feel bad. You're like, oh, I'm a cash fan.

I'm just going to sit in here for six hours. It's like the weather setting boundaries for you. Yeah, yeah. And I need boundaries. We all do. Self-care, baby. But I'll tell you, that can go, and I've seen it go the other way with,

I'll only speak to myself a few times where it's like, shit, it's dark, I can have a couple beers, but it's like 4.30, you know? That is completely different than what I'm talking about.

I know, but I'm saying when it's like, oh shit, it's dark, it's staying in. It's a drinking green light. But it can make me, it can let me in and out. This is more the flip side

of your pick. Yeah, I guess. There is a flip side to that coin. Yeah, yeah, they sort of, yeah, they go hand in hand, but it can, staying in your pick yeah i guess there is a flip side to that coin yeah yeah they sort of they yeah they go hand in hand but it can staying in when it's dark out i'm like i'm not going anywhere i'll just fucking pop a bottle or two and then you know that turns into midnight then i'm hitting you guys up like ian get up let's go to the roost yeah you know you're acting like a sloppy model i'll go to the roost it's his birthday on a fucking wednesday i don't

care yeah yeah yeah i'm always down for roost. Neither do they. They're thrilled about it. They'll be open. Night's in. What do you like on a night in? I like a night... Dude, what I really like, because I keep, like, wild hours, right, in real life. Like, I tend to go to bed at, like,

four-ish. Yeah. And wake up 10, 11-ish. I don't know how you're still doing that. I guess you're just accustomed to it. I'm just like, it's just, that's where, it's just because I can maintain it on the road. I didn't work this morning. I did it because I wore off. You know what time I went to bed last night? 10!

I was maybe in there by 9.30. I know exactly because I was like, holy crap. I fully plan to hang out with you guys and then go home and crack in on some of these movies like if i do a night in like a plan one i'll usually like make myself some food and go to bed early nice you know what i mean right before i go to bed i'll take like a couple huge bong rips or something like fatties and then just like just like being a person like

you said i keep these crazy hours yeah it's weird that i still do it so with especially within the fall when i have that chance to like no i'm staying in i'll just really like try to normalize yeah and you get a pen or not early but like you know nine yeah whatever yeah i mean like lately like you guys our group text is usually what wakes me up yeah like like you know what i mean or like a tech because we guys, our group text is usually what wakes me up. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Or like a text, because I'm glad that we're good enough friends to text each other in the morning. I appreciate it.

Yeah. But like it often, that's what wakes me up. And then I'll be like, I guess I'll be up now. Dude. Even meetings. I rarely even have meetings. Like the earliest meeting I'll ever have is like 11. And unless it's in Santa Monica.

Yeah, most people don't set meetings hella early. No. No, not for comedy meetings. Yeah. Not for us. 11 and unless it's in Santa Monica. Those people don't set meetings hella early. No, not for comedy meetings. Every now and again I'll get a meeting at like 11 that's in Santa Monica and then I'm like, oh shit, I gotta leave by 9. It's always like 3. Tell you who has early meetings.

The Late Late Show. With James Corden? Yeah, I don't know. The Gucci God. Gucci God. Showbiz Gucci God. He just has you guys come in so he can show you the new fall Gucci catalog. Gucci God. Old showbiz Gucci God. He just has you guys come in so he can show you the new fall Gucci catalog. He's not at the early meeting.

Don't get it twisted. No, you're at the early meeting. Your boy is. The head writer's at the early meeting. The head writer's got to be at the early meeting. I love that. He ain't at the early meeting. He's at the early meeting.

He's at the late meeting. He's at the one that happens right in the middle. At the meeting where they give you the Emmy. Yeah. Well, no, I'm not at that meeting. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet yet not yet not yet fucking will be um Sean Jordan time for you a fourth pick and then your fifth pick as it is fifth is gonna be a bit of a lightning round though it is uh my fourth pick I'm gonna be fall candles oh my man that is that is something i learned about recently you're like an apple

spice candle or something like that just like uh no you're not going to fall spells hey okay i understand why you would be upset i haven't dropped any serious money on a candle in my ever in my life i've never been able to bill on a candle have i no but you still feel comfortable i've smelled i've smelled feel comfortable. I've smelled. I've smelled. You still feel comfortable picking that little booze. Well, I got to pick what's in my world. So you're talking about autumnal smell candles. My candles are what's in your world, my friend.

I mean, they are pretty heavily. Oh, no. I'm not mad at you for picking candles when I am, you know, the candleman of the house. But you're also a candleman. We're two candlemen. Yankee candleman. You're a But you're also a candleman. We're two candlemen. Yankee candleman. You're a Yankee. It doesn't matter.

I'm not here to... I love them. Yeah. I like a southern candle. I just like... And you get... And I guess I can go into it, but like all those other candles,

they just have fall candles. They have campfire candles. They have... I like a campfire candle. I like brown sugar. Like spicy. They have a cinnamon candle that I'll do. I don't like

cinnamon candles. I don't like a fake cinnamon smell. What I do like and tell me, I think this will fit into your pick. I like a big bag of cinnamon, like a cinnamon broom. I like some cinnamon pine cones. Of course. I like cinnamon. But the candle,

I don't like a candle that has any like vanilla it's like how I don't like banana flavored stuff because I don't feel like they can harness it well I feel like the fake versions of vanilla if they do a fresh baked cookie candle or anything with vanilla in it it hits my nose wrong I don't like a birthday cake

and you're like get out of here it smells disgusting but I's like a birthday cake and you're like, get out of here. It smells disgusting. But I do like a spicy and like... No. And I feel like Yankee Campbell's perpetrates like that a lot. They go heavy. Whatever it says, it's going to fucking

really go Hebe Berry Derrison into it. But that's just me. That's not everybody. I understand you like it. I like... Think of the smell that you walk by

in like the mall over the holidays. Laundry. The Christmas store at the mall. It smells like laundry. The cinnamon. I like laundry candles. Like burning skunk laundry. I don't think your laundry smells like my laundry.

I ain't never done laundry, bro. I can tell. I don't read books. Everything smells like burning trash. I don't read books. I don't do laundry. They're gangbanging these books. Barely wear clothes.

You need to gang bang these fucking books motherfuckers open the fucking door like a seasonal candle yeah yeah just like a fall seasonal candle

yeah but I can I mean I can go into like a fucking pumpkin candle I mean see I can't do that any I could

I could you could convince me I bet to do like a trick or treat candle that smelled like candy see now that that road I cannot go down with you see now that I cannot do

see now that I cannot do. I'm going to need that extended warranty for the price on the house. See, now that I can't do. I'm into that foie de bois around the house. Maybe some of that diptyque foie de bois. Diptyque. Yeah. If you're gone and I just... When someone's gone,

I enjoy being able to come home to a clean environment and have it smell nice. I'm like, man, what do I do here? Do I light my shitty candle and bring it out here? Or do I light one of your dang candles? Why one of my candles? They're expensive, Doug. So I'd feel bad lighting them.

The glass candles at the grocery store, they're $1.50, right? That's what I do. They can be used. OK, but then you get the essential oil. You can buy it off Amazon. Six to ten dollars. You get whatever damn flavor, smell you want. Couple of drops in your candle.

Boom. You're a rich man. It's a different candle there? See, here's what's crazy for me. You're just getting a plain candle? I fucks with incense. Plain candles. They sell plain candles.

I love incense. I was talking to somebody about incense the other day. I fuck with the crazy, like when you go to the gas station, it's like hot pussy or like the weird flavors. Bob Marley. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Candy rain. So yeah. Light up the nest ones, the ones that are like pinstriped. Those aren't expensive. Feel free.

Those are candles for the house. There it is. Fall candles. Candles for the house. Pancakes for the table. Kyle bought pancakes for the table every night at the Denny's we went to in San Francisco. Do you know what the fucking bill is when you go to a Denny's on Fisherman's Wharf? Because it's the only place that's open. Two people.

Is it heavy? Very derisive, dude. That's not the only place. Really? We didn't get out of there for 70. How is that the only place that's open? Less than 70. Well, we're talking four.

You sweet, beautiful fool. We're talking four in the morning. There was not a lot open. It's the only city in San Francisco. There's got to be something. Not right. This was like, you could see it from the hotel. On the wharf? You're talking four in the morning. There was not a lot open. You can feel the city of San Francisco. There's got to be something. Not right. This was like, you could see it from the hotel. On the wharf?

You're talking about on the wharf? Oh, where was your hotel? You could see Fisherman's. I mean, it was a block away. There was one place open at four in the morning. Oh, I know where they put you up. Yeah, there isn't anything. There ain't shit around there.

Oh, I know that, too. But I'm saying, you got 70 bucks for two people to eat it. I looked at Moonshine for Miami. It was like $18. Wow. That is a $18. Wow. That is a $4 thing. Yeah, you got to go back in the city. Yeah, because we didn't even.

I feel it. I feel it. That's a bad scene. Even North Beach is too bougie to have late, late night food. Oh, that was dope, though. All right. With your fifth pick? My fifth pick is going to be...

Man. I'm torn. It's... It's all right. Oscar movies coming out. Oh, shit! I was going to pick that. Oscar movies? Okay.

It's one like the serious... Okay. To bring up Schrandler's Blooper again, it's when movies like that come out, because it's just's just yeah. Bartleby Schnapper. Yeah. Crandley Blooper

coming out. My man came to play. Yeah. The Oscar movie season and living in a house as you do with a.

I know you think I'm not. Number of count them up two different gilts. Zach and I look like like if you just gave a kid a

fucking bag full of candy Zach will text me he's like dude screeners and I'm like don you just gave a kid a fucking bag full of candy, Zach will text me, he's like, dude, screeners. And I'm like, don't open them, they're not ours. It's your thing to open them. No, it's like one of those things like, we can't, nope, we can't do it yet. Someone, it's, I'd be bummed if other people opened mine. I would care about that, because that's something I would take a lot of

pride in, that I got myself to this level where I get fucking movies sent to me and I open them. I can tell you this. No, you wouldn't. You don't care at all. I don't care at all. Open them up. Watch them.

I don't give a fuck. They're not one watchers. You can watch them again. I know. I just... Then you can send them up to your family in Oregon who are real impressed. Real impressed.

Like they were ever going to watch fucking Last Flag flying. And then sometimes your friend can sneak him on a plane and pull it out so he hopes the person next to him sees that this movie isn't out yet and then he puts it in his disc drive that he has in his laptop. Do they ever see? Industry man.

Noy. There's some good ones this year, man. First Man I want to see. I've heard First Man is dope. Bohemian Rhapsody. What do you mean, Rhapsody? Oh, what do you think about Taron Egerton? What do you think about Taron? Could it be Ejon?

I was tweeting about this the other day. Yeah, what do you think about it? Taron the comedian? No, Taron Egerton, the guy from Kingsman. He's going to be Elton John. Is that the same guy? Yeah, yeah. That's the kid from.

Those are big shoes. Yeah. Well, and he big shoes not that Elton John's not attractive but Taron Egerton's like fucking hot and you're like

and also Elton John was mad cute he was he was but I watched the trailer and he they do the he does look like Elton John and he sings

sounds like Elton John I like Taron Egerton a lot you know me I'm a Kingsman man from way back you're a Kingsman and uh it And it's tough to play those guys in movies

because like, as good as Rami, is it, wait, who's playing? Yeah. Rami Malek? Yeah.

Yeah, as good as Rami Malek and Taron Egerton are, they're trying to play two of the most sauced up individuals of all time. But the thing is,

Freddie Mercury and Elton John have so much sauce. Someone's gonna play it. Yeah. So you're like, who the fuck's gonna do it? Someone's gotta do it. But they're both still alive. Someone's going to play it. Yeah. So you're like, who the fuck's going to do it? Someone's got to do it. But they're both still alive.

That's right. I feel like those movies must be... Freddie Mercury truth. No. Wouldn't that be crazy if you were just a Freddie Mercury truther?

I'm that one guy. I'm the one guy who thinks he's alive. Dude, AIDS isn't even real. Yeah. Government made it up, bro. So... Deep.

You ever seen Loose Change? Zeitgeist 1. God damn. Zeitgeist 2. Yo, if I'm ever in another conversation about Loose Change, I'm going to blow my fucking brains out. Speaking of blowing up, the explosion right at the bottom, dude. Watch Loose Change.

Zeitgeist 1. Zeitgeist 2. Bree's over there like, seriously, fucking stop. Yeah, I think both those movies will seriously fucking stop yeah I think I think both those movies will be good but I think

I bet they will be I have soft opinions I was tweeting out a pocket the other day but it's a lightning round let's keep it moving there's good Oscar movies

coming up Dave what time for your final pick Hope so wow dude way to bookend it what

yeah I'm on a plane I'm going to explain. I'm going to explain. All right. Orange and hope. It is, fall is for me the most hopeful time of the year. What? Because there's enough time left.

I agree. Like, there's enough time left at the end of the year that you start, you're like, I don't know about you guys. I've blown a lot of years. A lot of my years by September, I'm like, well don't know about you guys. I've blown a lot of years. A lot of my years by September, I'm like, well, really didn't do what I was supposed to. 2019 is going to be big. So yeah, that's when you start. Everything about the season is hopeful.

It's like you start looking to the next year. New TV's on. The new basketball season starts. October in baseball is anybody's game. Elections. It's the most hopeful time of the year. The new basketball season starts. October in baseball is anybody's game. You can come to a birthday. Elections. It's the most hopeful time of the year. New school year.

I'm going to be a new, better me. The fall is the most hopeful time of the year, and I appreciate that. Even more so than the beginning of the year to me, the fall is like a hopeful time. I get oddly depressed at the beginning of every year because. Oh, yeah. Because everything I'm like, well, everything I fucking look forward to just got done. Janeiro sucks, man.

But now I'm like, I like hope that the winter season is going to be good. And that come January when I do that thing I got to do, I'm going to be ready for it. It's just like, this is a bit. What? It's going to be ready for it. It's just like, this is a big... What? It's going to be a big January. He's sailing across the Atlantic. Yeah, yeah. Are we not allowed to talk about it?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Were you going to crip walk across the Bering Strait? That was the other part.

That was you, homeboy. Yeah, you're doing that, dude. I did that. I did that. 2016 was big. 2016 before Christ, though. You know, instead of crispy weather, I was going to pick cripsy weather, but I didn't. i didn't it was gonna be my sixth you shouldn't have uh that was the fourth one but no yeah i think that uh i think i yeah i just feel like this time of year is like i agree especially for me

it's more of a time of renewal and just like focusing in on what you're because the way i look at it is like the holidays are kind of that's not the year you know what i mean yeah like the year is the holidays holidays are award season yeah yeah yeah it's the victor the holidays are the victory lap yeah january to thanksgiving is the year so this is like when this is the time that i start hoping towards and really start like like i have like a plan for next year, like, now, you know what I mean? So it's like, and like I said, all that other stuff, it's just a very hopeful time of year.

It's a time of new beginnings, more so than January 1st to me. So yeah, hope. You're so linear, David. You're so linear. You're like, January, wheels on the ground. Let's do it. I'm like, I. Wheels on the ground. Let's do it. I am very loose in the way I live my life, but my brain is super linear.

I always have to know what time it is. I'm very like. Oh, dude. Not me. I'm one of those. I'm barely tethered to this reality. No, I always am like. I'm hardwired.

I got to be at work early, so I have to know what time it is. Exactly. And I don't even. I just am going to. I don't know. I I'm gonna, it's one thing I can control. It's one thing I can control. Hope. I can always know what time it is. Hope. What's the top of your final pick?

Apples. Y'all. Apples. Root vegetables. You couldn't wait to. Apples. Seasonal produce. Damn.

Seasonal produce. You know the Portland Nursery, and they have that apple festival every year, and they've got, they cut up every kind of fucking apple you ever heard of, and then it's free. Damn. See them produce. You know the Portland Nursery and they have that apple festival every year? And they cut up every kind of fucking apple you ever heard of. And then it's free. Damn. You go. You take a date. You walk around this apple festival. Pink Lady.

We got Macintosh. We got Braeburn. Honeycrisp. We got Honeycrisp, bitch. We got Gala. Red Delicious. No, Red Delicious. Actually, no.

We don't even got Red Delicious. Fuck Red Delicious. Fuck Red Delicious. Get these red apples out of this house. Mealy ass fucking Red Delicious. I just saw David's hope tank go down like halfway. Red Delicious, there's a reason those are the ones that always get wrapped up in cellophane and hucked at you by shitty motels.

That's why we gotta cover that shit in caramel. Because it's crash. Whoa. I love you guys, but you're wiling on your Red Delicious picks. You lived in Washington. You should be with us. Fresh Red Delicious is incredible. Honeycrisp is the best apple to ever live. You live in Washington. You should be with us. Fresh Red Delicious is incredible. Honeycrisp is the best apple to ever live.

Honeycrisp. Listen. Let's not get into this. Once again. Once again. I know you want to play with the big boys. I get it. What do you think is the best apple?

Red Delicious. Get out of here. That's crazy, David. Pink Lady is so much better than a Red Delicious. Red Delicious is what made people think to start dipping apples in peanut butter. That's such a wild idea that I have to look up Red Delicious. When was the last time you had a brand new, shiny... Red Delicious are the ones that get mushy.

There's PG, there's Pink Lady. They cover them in wax because they're so disgusting. They cover them in caramel. Maybe I just haven't had the right Red Delicious, but I feel like I would by now. Go up to Washington right now and get you a Red Delicious. You go to this fucking Apple Festival at the Portland Nursery and try every apple

under the sun. You're going to come out talking about Red Delicious apples? Hell no, you're not. It's just a good middle for me. All the green stuff is a little too tart. All the yellow stuff is a little too sweet. I'm not telling you to eat any green apples. Nobody said that. I'm saying find you an apple that's not a red delicious

you're going to love it. Find you an apple you can kind of love through the summer. I fuck with grapple. I like a golden delicious. Yeah, that's what I was saying. Pink lady is my jam. Pink lady? Yeah, that's my jam. But either way, apples, do you ever bake them in the oven? Sure I bake apples in the oven. Sure I cut up an apple and mix it into my

bread. You might as well have got up and spit on it. Absolutely. I like also, you know what's crazy? I like slicing up an apple and throwing it in my grilled cheese or quesadillas. I don't even care. Sure. Damn. I don't even know about that.

Like an apple with some brie? Brie to burn. Hey, here for it. With some brie. I make cheese plates all year round, you know? I'm making cheese plates for one. He's into that. With a bunch of fruit and shit in it.

He's got that life. I love it. Okay, so anyway, apples, they're in season, they're a fast, healthy snack. They don't need a wrapper, they don't need anything. Throw it in your pocket, and it's healthy, and your belly will be full. Do it.

Apples. My friend Bayron Barron used to eat the core, he'd eat the whole thing. I do that. Do you really? You eat the whole thing? Yeah, I eat the whole thing. Except for the stem? Well, no stem, yeah, I don't eat the core. You'd eat the whole thing. I do that. Do you really? You'd eat the whole thing? Except for the stem? No stem, yeah. I don't eat the stem. He would screw up the BD. He'd eat the whole core. You'd eat the whole core. Damn.

It's not. It's doable. You know what I was thinking? Leaving meat on the apple core is kind of like a vegan's wing economy of meat. Oh, really? You should see what I do to a chicken wing bone. That thing comes out stripped. That looks like the chicken died in the 50s.

Like it's been in the sun. Yeah. Bleached. Fucking. Bleached bone. Like a sultan in a cartoon. I'm going to fuck around and get something like marrow. Salt and sea shit.

The pile of bones are so white, you can barely look at them. David gets so pissed. I leave a little meat on the bone. You leave a lot of meat on the bone. I leave a lot of meat on the bone. You do leave a lot of meat on the bone. We had a pretty serious talk about it.

You leave a lot of meat on the bone. Like a whole other bite. Somebody's taking Sean's bones home to make a stock. There's so much meat on it. You could make soup stock out of his bones all day. Oh, soup stock. They make the chicken nuggets they sell him later that night out of the meat. He leaves on the bone.

I bet they do. There is. I bet they do. Sell right back to us when we're there for round two later that night. Apples. Excellent pick. Time for my final pick. Got to take Friday night lights.

I can't turn my back on it. Oh, not the TV show. No, I didn't even think about it. You'd be one man. Just fucking. There's no other thing that feels night life. Damn, I didn't even think about that. QB1, bro. Man,

just fucking. There's no other thing that feels like that. That was fall for me. Before I started skating, that was what

it all was about. You just, all of this bunched together, football was so dope. I mean, fucking homecoming is in the fall,

too. Yeah. Oh, man, when you win homecoming, and then you got a girl,

and there's fireworks. My God. None of that ever happened to me. Probably the closest I ever felt to feeling tall my whole life. Dave, were you homecoming and then you got a girl and there's fireworks. My God. None of that ever happened to me. Probably the closest I ever felt to feeling tall in my whole life. Dave, were you homecoming king? No, no, no. I was just an active. Oh, you won the team.

I was an active participant in the game. Five tackles. It's not a big deal. I didn't even get to wear my jersey to the game. I don't even know that I ever went to the game because I felt like I wasn't invited to the game. It was rough. We had very different teen years. They invited us

because we had to shore up that defensive line. Yeah, they were. They didn't invite me because they were like, Sean, cool people could be sitting in your seat. I had to keep that

low center of gravity and drive, you know? They invited me because I filled the A-gap solid. They invited me because I could stunt around the tight end, you know what I'm saying?

I took away the run game alone. Yeah. Root hog. Down in there, sideways. Playing a nickel. Dime packages. I was out doing kickflips. Hey, you know what they had me do? They had me drop into coverage every now and again. We went from a five front to a four. See, I never did that. That's some other shit.

Check back. Now your kid's an outside backer. I'm a Sam. Head on a swivel. Head on a swivel. Head on a swivel. Athletic position. Athletic stance. We're doing defensive line stunts, all right? You think I'm going to the A gap. I'm actually going to the B gap.

Twist and tango, baby. Twist or tango, however you want it. Is that like a barrel roll and the other person barrel rolls over you? Where you just roll over each other? Nah, it's just hitting different gaps. I'm grabbing the center and the guard. I'm falling over. I'm creating a pile.

Yep, yep, yep. Because This is a clear running game. Root hog, root hog, root hog, root hog. Take up space. Can I get into this? I did play defensive line in one powder puff game. And you know what? That girl who I creamed on the senior team has nightmares about it.

She saw into my eyes and she saw nothing. Oh, I tattooed kids so hard their firstborn's got to be named david boy it just has to happen because of what i did to you in 04 just has to happen honey respect honey if we're gonna have serious talk about having a kid to name the kid skyler but unfortunately david fucking she's dead i i tackled the kid so hard that all the plants in his family photos died. All the plants?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you go back and you see him posing in front of a Christmas tree, it's all dead leaves, dead needles and shit. I tackled kids so hard they told their loved ones not to come to the game. Yeah. They said, this guy's going to do something to me. In advance? I don't want you to see it, Mom. I watched game film on him all week.

I sacked one of Sunset's running backs so hard, or I tackled one of Sunset's running backs so hard, his aunt kicked heroin. I was hit. His aunt kicked heroin? I was hit so hard by Austin Fleeger that they recast Eric Stoltz in Back to the Future, and now it's Michael J. Fox.

That's how hard Fleeger hit me. I woke up crying. Woke up crying. I just love seeing those lights on a Friday, even now driving by and just knowing what that experience was. Every time I'm like, Glendale Night Lights right there. Because you remember, you think back to your experience, it was like, shit, that was pretty fun.

You could smell it. You could smell it. You could smell the air. All that laundry. Hear the drums. That laundry drying. Nothing else is that scary. Like even doing stand-up is not as scary as like that first play.

God damn. I still have dreams about it. It's weird. I had one the other night. Whenever I watch it, I like, because I try to be like football's not good. We shouldn't have our kids play it. Yeah, I don't think I let my kids play. No, I would never let my kids play. But when I see it, I'm like, Jesus, good we shouldn't have our kids play it yeah i don't think i let my kids play no i would never let my kids play but when i see it i'm like jesus when we were kings man yeah yeah exactly fucking that shit was good uh we had different football experiences i still loved

it though but boy boy did i not play god didn't give you thick thighs like he gave us i was okay i'll tell you my first two-handed warm drink was a bottle full of piss that the coach made us hold on the sidelines. They had us pee in bottles and we'd hold them because it was so... Nobody ever believes me when I say this. What do you mean? Where did you pee? We just would pee in bottles and hold them. It was either that or put our hands down our pants.

This is why you listen all two hours. What? I understand. Why wouldn't he just let you put your hand in your pants? If we didn't want to do that. We put our hands in our pants. Piss on a bottle and hold it? We would do it all the time.

And then you would drink out of those bottles at practice later? No, these were like cash water bottles or something. Like if we had cash water bottles, he would just tell us to go piss in it and put our hands on it. That is a fucking crazy thing. I mean, these are the same coaches that were like calling me the worst names when I did the splits. In all fairness, you invited that into your life. I did, but still.

These are the kind of dudes I'm talking about, though. They were awesome. I guess coaches always liked me because I was good. I didn't know that was so crazy. Yeah, same here. I never, like they were like, I never, I got away with stuff. I was allowed. I didn't know that was so crazy. Yeah, same here. I never. I got away with stuff. I was allowed to put my hand on my wiener.

I passed math class. But if we didn't want to. For real. You got passed? I passed math because I was on the football team. You're smart, though. Not a math. Really?

Yeah, no. Wow. You're not good at math? No. Vulnerables. Yeah, not good at it. Vulnerability in this time. We're probably talking like, well, anyway. Yeah. No not good at math. No. Crazy. Vulnerables. Yeah, not good at it. Vulnerability in this part. We're probably talking like, well, anyway.

Yeah. No, I didn't know that. No, just like algebra too. Really? Not even like crazy advanced math classes. Yeah, just not good at math. Don't care about it. Did you ever have when football would end though,

and you would get the progress report, and all of a sudden you got three Fs? Like, doesn't matter anymore. It was usually smooth sailing after that. But anyway, that's my final pick, those Friday Night Lights. To recap, Sean, you went first. You took Two-Handed Warm Drink Season,

Big Crunchy Piles of Leaves, It Gettin' Dark Early, Fall Candles, and Oscar Movies Comin' Out. David, you went second. You took The Color Orange, Candy, Good TV Be TV Being Back On, Nights In, and Hope. Cool. Bree, you went third.

You took Spooky Shit, Baked Goods, Lighting a Damn Fire, Basketball, and Apples. That's pretty solid. Damn, Apples was so good. I went last. I took Halloween, Being Cold, Snuggling, Carving Pumpkins, and Friday Night Lights. Yes!

This is the coziest. Yeah, this is a cozy podcast. I don't know how I missed that on the 100th episode. That is easily my favorite part of this podcast is when you recap. Oh, the recaps? It's so fun. We also missed caution in the wind. Yeah.

What do we leave out? We left leaves changing. What do I have? I didn't leave a lot. Scarves. It's the only time I give a shit about birds is something about fall. Like migration?

I thought for sure. Yeah, it looks cool seeing the Vs and everything. Yeah, the Ds. I saw some Vs going. Birds do cool shit in the fall. You know when you set your, you fall back, you set your clock back. Oh, yeah.

Doesn't that mean an extra hour of drinking at the bar? It does. That one night. I almost said that. It's fucked up because I have been in there. I have too. I've been in there too. I've been in there almost every one of them. I used to work at the bar? It does. That one night. I almost said that. It's fucked up because I have been in there. I have too. I've been in there too. I've been in there

almost every one of them. I used to work at the bar and not all bars, that's not legal, but the bar I worked at, it was super chill and we'd go crazy at 3 a.m.

I love that 3 a.m. I do love that. I have been there. I think we did that last year. I think I've been there every year. I can't believe that. Every year that's not a weekend

I've done that. I had cranberries on my layers. Oh yeah. Like the cranberries the band. And fall colors in general also. How about layers? We didn't really talk about specific colors.

I feel like we did. I feel like we covered layers. We talked a little. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Decorative gourds was a good one. Only time I do turkey. Libra season. Libra season.

I don't ever know what that means. Also, when is Taurus season? Me, bro. So I know. It's in April, May, baby. I'll let you know. What about Scorpio season? It's a Taurus full moon right now.

What? Our new moon. Scorpio season is the end of the month. You know that. Yeah, I know. Your time. We want to hear your picks for fall. I'm sure we missed some.

I'm sure you got some local ones. Get some weird ones out there. Yeah. I'm sure Marissa has some things from Toronto in the fall, like it being zero degrees or lakes freezing over. Jamaican beef patties. Jamaican beef patties. Aren't there a lot of Jamaicans there? Yeah.

Yeah. Yep. Just cold shit. That's all. Just imagine in October in Toronto, it's already cold as hell. Then winter, just like, yeah, I don't know anything about winter because we're underground. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But seeing as yours, shout's already cold as hell. Then winter, just like, yeah, I don't know anything about winter because we're underground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But send us yours.

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