All Fantasy Everything - Back-To-Back (w/ Demi Adejuyigbe, Zak Toscani, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: November 15, 2018

Got the draft in me going baaaaack-to-back. Today we draft back-to-back stuff! Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Demi Adejuyigbe, David Gborie and Zak Toscani!#PoppingDogs4CandiceBe sure to check out Demi's podcast Punch Up The Jam on the HeadGum network. You can listen to the episode Ian and Sean guested on here: headgum.com/punch-up-the-jam/016-escape-the-pina-colada-song-with-ian-karmel-and-sean-jordan.Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-longs episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodEpisode Guests:Zak Toscani @zaktoscani IG: @zaktoscaniDemi Adejuyigbe @electrolemon IG: @electrolemonFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that found some Slim Jim minis downstairs in the HeadGum office kitchen. And is pretty stoked about it. Slim Jim minis sounds like a biker bar. Yeah, Slim Jim minis. Yeah, we were at Slim Jim minis last night. Yeah. Because it was the only place that was open during the snowstorm.

I saw a dude fight a chain with a knife. Yo, I owe Slim Jim Minis a lot of money. At Slim Jim Minis, dude, the well drinks are more expensive than the call drinks. Slim Jim Minis. They got a pool table with only eight balls. Whoever breaks, loses. And they bet on every game. That's why I owe them a lot of money.

Slim Jim Minis has an empty jukebox and there's always a line at it. I imagine Slim Jim Minis is like the bar from Smooth Criminal that he walks into. Oh, that is Slim Jim Minis is like the bar from Smooth Criminal that he walks into. Oh, that's Slim Jim Minis for sure. In Slim Jim Minis, there's piss all over the floor in the bar and peanuts all over the floor in the bathroom. You can't go in there if your age is an even number. I thought I told you no sixes in Slim Jim Minis.

But it's my birthday. I don't care. You come here next year. You come back when you're a seven, doll. They make the best Monte Cristo in town, too. That's the only reason people go. That's the podcast. That's what it is.

Yeah, it's like a podcast. Oh, man. It's good to be back here. When was the last time we were in the studio? It feels like a couple. Because we did like three in a row. We had like one week. It's been like two, three weeks, man.

You guys been on the road? No. Everybody's been in town. We're just tired. We just had one really productive week and then, you know, chill. Keep talking because I'm eating a Slim Jim. I don't want to go into a hot... Don't want to get the Slim Jim

sounds on air. Yeah, that's true. People hate it when you eat on podcasts. I mean, I get it, but also I love eating. What do you want me to do? What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to stop eating? Yeah, my two loves. I'm so glad I don't have that thing that... It doesn't freak me out when people eat and talk. No, they don't. I don't care at all.

I never hear it. People will email us and be like, talk. I don't care at all. I never hear it. People will email us and be like, this person was chewing gum the entire time. I'm like, I edited it and I didn't hear it. I don't know what to say. Is it just loud? Is it just people? I don't know. I think it's the sound. My sister can't handle her dog when her dog grooms

itself. She's like, stop it. And I'm like, let it. I don't like that sound though. Oh, that rough tongue on, let it. I don't like that sound though. Oh, that rough tongue on fur. Yeah, I don't like that. It doesn't bother me. I guess I just tuned it out. Maybe it's like a reverse ASMR. It's just like the ultimate

tactile sound that you're like, that's fucking awful. Yeah, it's BSMR for sure. It turns on like Jason Bourne training. I don't like how ASMR makes me feel yeah i don't like how asmr makes me feel i don't either it's like talk normal do you have any of that do you have any of the like body tingles or anything from any sounds you feel weird in my crotch but not sexually not right you know like when you like maybe when you're in a car and you go down it's really hill. Yeah. But it makes me feel like right before that.

Oh, okay. Like when you're cresting the hill? Yeah, like right before the drop. Oh, I know that feeling. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like behind your penis. Oh, yeah. Behind your penis.

Like the base of your penis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not sexual at all, but that's how... Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. Whispering is like that. Yeah. People who whisper into my ear, it's like...

Base camp. My spine just starts dancing. It's your base camp. Yeah. I never get any sensation from it, but I whisper into my ear it's like my spine just starts dancing. I never get any sensation from it but I always genuinely feel like it's just someone trying to train me to become a super spy or something. I'm like, I don't want to I'm not interested in this. Just talk normal. It's not doing anything for me. You're just very close to the mic whispering.

It's not. It's just a weird sound. Is it supposed to be like sexual? It's not necessarily sexual. it's not necessarily sexual. Sexual, not not sexual. But it's not not sexual. Right. It's a weird like tingle from the top of your head down, I think, like.

Okay. Kind of thing. Like there's an egg on your head and the yolk is running down. Something like that. What is that? You don't remember that? No. Oh, yeah.

In school? Sean does that to Laura all the time. The way you said that. He did that to her at Faded. She was sitting in the audience. And he was sitting behind her and he was doing that. Really? The whole show.

You never did that? I've never heard of this. And the way that you said that, I thought it was like a UGK song. You got an egg on my head and your kids running down. Hey, hey, hey. You know, I don't even know how to. I'm running on, hey, hey. You know, I don't even know how to. Putting on some Revis, man. So I got an egg that I used to.

And then somehow he says, selling white. It's like kids do it, though. It's like you knock the head, and then you say there's an egg on your head, and the yolk is running. And you, like, run your hand down. I don't. Yeah, there used to be a bunch of those a long time since anybody's done well there used to be like you would trace on people's backs like oh yeah going on a treasure hunt x marks the spot there's all those weird little it's like sibling stuff yeah that's what i would yeah remember kids touching games but like the good ones?

Yeah, yeah. Like not. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This will like tickle your back, but not in a crazy way. Oh, yeah. Or like when you'd have a kid, you'd be like, push out as hard as you can. You'd hold their arms down. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And then you let go and they like rise. Describing these as an adult, I'm like, David, you can't do that. Yeah, yeah. It is all very, I'm glad I got it out of my system. Yeah. It wasn't in, I'm glad I got it out of my system. Yeah. It wasn't in my system. He's cured. I've never done this.

Don't you remember when we were kids and we played games touching each other? Of course, yeah. I would do that in the doorways, like stand in the middle of a doorway and then push your hands against it. Then you're like, I'm like an angel. Your arms just rising. Orphanage style. Do kids still do that?

Or now do they just play with iPads? They got door-wrapped apps. Oh, no, Ian. There's an app in the doorway. You have to tap him to make sure he doesn't put his hands down. I'm going to make, hear me out. I'm going to make a touching games app for kids. Yeah.

Don't. Okay. It's called Touching Kids. That's why we're in the writer's room, guys. We're just bouncing around. There's no bad ideas. I we're in the writer's room, guys. We're just bouncing around. There's no bad ideas. I would love to be in that room, yes. I don't want to be in that room because that app is going to get made,

and then I got to have my name in the credits. No, but it's fun touching. Stop. I'm out. Keep my name off the game. Here's the thing. I'm deep in it, but I feel like there's a way to describe it where it's not. Yeah, I agree. It's fun for kids to learn

to touch each other. Do you know this is being recorded? No, okay, I'm not saying I'm taking myself out of it. Okay. I'm pulling myself from it. I'm saying

children learn touching different. You have, guys, there's a base way that you have to learn to touch people. It's not better. But we all know what I'm saying is a thing. I'm sure. It's the use of the word touching, I think.

I think touching is a problem. I think it's a different word. Feeling. No. Rubbing? There's no better word. It's a's fine a different word. Feeling. No. Rubbing? There's no better word. It's getting worse. It's a hard one to sell because you're like exploring.

Nothing sounds. Maybe like pad? No. But it's like I'm just trying to – because like I think about it now and I touched more people when I was a kid than I touch now. Like day to day. I was more affectionate. Gosh.

I know what you mean. You know what. Gosh. I know what you mean. You know what I mean. I know what you mean. We all know. It sounds so bad. The hard part is that I want to. What I'm trying to say is that I want to touch more adults. Okay.

But I can't. Okay. Like, do you remember playing football? Yeah. You were touching each other all the time. Dude, I was at a flight club yesterday. Yes. Getting sneakers.

Thank you. Thank you for saving me. No, I was at a flight club yesterday. Yes. Getting sneakers. Thank you. Thank you for saving me. No, I'm going to come back in a second. Go on. There were these two, I think they were there. I know they were there from Japan because I heard them talking. They were speaking Japanese. And they were hanging all over each other.

And I don't think they were lovers. I think they were just friends. Yes. And they were just like, they were just like, had their arms over each other. All I'm saying is that we should just all touch each other more is what I'm saying. I wish. I feel like I went the worst route. Yeah.

And you just kept digging. Because I thought that there was, I thought that there was fertile ground there. Yeah. Well, you're not wrong. Okay. I don't think you're wrong. It's just like. It's hard to say. It's impossible's just like it's hard to say it's

impossible yeah it's hard to say all the time like i think it's okay to like be like i have nieces and nephews and stuff right and you're like that it's fine to interact with kids when they're not yours you know yeah yeah there's like been this combat where it's like well not like not like strangers like uh we to stay out of this one. Everybody's going to take their turn, huh? Yeah. Now it's my turn. No.

So I know this 10-year-old, right? It's just like their skin is softer. You know, because they don't have as many muscles. Yeah, they're more tender. Life hasn't beaten them down yet. Yeah, they're not rough like us. Slim Jim Minis sounds like. Slim Jim Minis.

Guys, let's tell the- Everything, that entire sentence that David just said, trying to explain it, is the drink special at Slim Jim Minutes. You're like, man, I don't want the drink at all. Let me get the- Two of those. Let me get the kids should be touching each other more. I know what you mean.

Something to differentiate between good touch and bad touch for children. Yeah, it's just you should learn, because it's a thing that it's better to learn early than late i went to uh for a friend's birthday she was like oh we should all go play laser tag and we went to play laser tag and obviously like everyone there is just children while they were explaining the rules i mean like all right we're gonna break people up into teams these like young like seven-year-old boys like no don't break us up we're best friends they started hugging each other and it was the cutest thing I've ever that's beautiful it's so adorable

that's there we go I had this like sensation like that's adorable then another sensation of like don't look at those kids no

well that but also I was just like I hope nobody ever touches me like none of my friends like something happened something happened to me and now I'm an adult and just like

no one will ever touch me I will hug them and I will stand a foot away. Yeah, that's the thing. There's no like, I think it's fucking us up, man. What happens? I wonder when it is.

I don't know because it's not like that other places. In Sierra Leone, dudes hold hands. Really? Yeah, sometimes. At some age,

you have your last friendly cuddle and you don't even know it. Yeah, you don't even know it. Remember dog piling? Yeah. No dog piling for that. Mostly because you don't even know it man sometimes dog piling yeah mostly because you hurt yourself after this yeah sometimes i've had the greatest afternoons where it's like just me and a friend separate couches but we're taking a nap or watching sports or something yeah it's it's okay to be intimate with friends yeah is where i where, I think we, this is,

David's around my way just being like, yeah, so. Anybody got any dates? And the stew, Sean Jordan is in Portland, Oregon. Portlandia.

With Laura. Just putting in some Laura time. Yeah, cracking some eggs on the head. Cracking some eggs on the head. Stirring the stew.

Shout out to Sean Jordan. So he's not here For all the Sean Jordan heads Yeah Instead we are going to be Mean to a bag of flour That we've put in the corner Bitch ass bag

Ain't never been Never been yeasted in his life Fucking Wannabe pancake ass bag of flour Couldn't be a cake for shit Fucking fuck you flour We love you dude We love you bag of flour couldn't be a cake for shit fucking fuck you flour we love you dude we love you bag of flour just great comedian yeah fantastic comic wait it's buck brand flour uh

debbie adigeweebay is in the studio at electro lemon on twitter yep and then on instagram it's also at electro also at electro lemon yep for some reason i always remember people's twitter and never remember their Instagram. Isn't that interesting? Yeah, you don't really notice that on the Instagram. Yeah.

It's more of the picture. Thank you, Zach. Yeah. Check's out. Devin, what do you got going on, man? I got my podcast Punch of the Jam.

Yes. I'm writing on the Late Show with your boy, Ian Carmel. Yeah. My boss. Yeah. I'm riding on the Late Show with your boy Ian Carmel. Yeah. My boss. Hey, horn, horn, horn, horn, horn. I'm trying to get back

into performing live without having to lean on just riffing or doing a podcast or anything. I'm doing Vulture Fest November 7th. Is this going to be up then? Who knows?

This will be up next Thursday. Oh, great. Yeah, I'm doing Vulture Fest this weekend. If you're there, Pete Holmes is hosting a Comedians to Know thing. So it's like me and Jamie Loftus and I think Brendan Scannell and some other people. That's great.

Brendan's so funny, too. Oh, so fucking funny. And Jamie. Everybody's funny. Yeah, Jamie is one of the funniest people I know. And it's just going to be a fun time. Come on out. I might do a song at the end or something.

I haven't figured it out. But if I don't do a song, don't be disappointed because I said might. You didn't say might. I said might. You can't sue me. Asterix. Asterix. Don't sue him. And if you want to hear some songs, listen to Punch Up at the Jam. Yeah. Yeah. Don't end it with a now with a Patreon.

Yep. You can give us money to hear us talk more and download the songs that we've been writing. Bonus content. Bonus. Damn, son, where'd you find this? I found it on the Patreon. I found it on the Patreon.

Wow. I'm doing drops, dude. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Gotta save those for your Patreon. Damn, son. I brought other drops for that. Don't worry.

There's plenty of drops, man. All right. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Give me one more of those drops. He's a cup of water full of drops. Oh, yeah. Is that one more of those drops. He's a cup of water full of drops. Is that a hot dog or a brat?

Damn, that's a good one. That's one of them. That could be an Eddie Tukontex. I downloaded this on Napster so I thought it was Blink-182 until just now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now That one plays in the middle of the song too Right when you figure it out

you're like, oh Also, fuck everybody out there who was titling all those songs Oh man I was like, I can't believe the Beatles did a song with DMX It's because they didn't They didn't songs. Oh, man. I was like, I can't believe the Beatles did a song with DMX. It's because they didn't. They didn't. But I like to think they would've.

Yeah, I hope. John wanted to. I mean, yeah. He's a rough rider. And some of them would get so good. Earl's quite a rough rider. We were trying to ride rough in those days, too. Yeah. It's what you're hearing. It's what you're hearing.

It's what you're hearing. Where my dogs at? I've had blood on me dick. You know, that's the thing about John. He had blood on his dick, too. Yonkers was very much the Liverpool of New York. Oh, God. I laughed the cover off my microphone.

I'm unsheathed. He's unsheathed. He's raw. David Bowie raw. The dog is raw. Oh, another drop. Sleep came off my mic. Did you guys hear about how Soulja Boy used retitling songs on LimeWire to make his career?

Yeah, that's how Superman got hot. Yeah. What? He would just drop it on LimeWire and Napster and all these places and retitle it to be like Jay-Z, Hard Knock Life, or whatever the fuck. And it worked. Yeah. And then it would be Superman?

Yeah. That happened to me before, though. It was like getting Rickrolled. Mm-hmm. Where you're like, God, fucking Soulja Boy. And then eventually you just are like, I hear this song so often, I just kind of like it now. Yeah. You know the funny thing?

Superman, that hoe, never my favorite Soulja Boy. Turn My Swag On, though. Turn My Swag On's great. That's an incredible song. Speaker going hammers. Yeah, Speaker's Going Hammers, great. He's underappreciated. I think he's one of the funniest of that time.

Yeah. Yeah. I like his later antics. Because he's so ridiculous. Yeah. His antics have been great the whole time. Was he the private jet guy? No, that was Bow Wow.

Oh, Bow Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bow Wow's a bummer. But he was trying to get into fights with Bow Wow or something. That would have been funny if Soulja Boy did it, though. Soulja Boy did it. It. Soulja Boy did it, it would be funny. Oh, you know what Soulja Boy

got caught at? He got caught, he was at an Airbnb saying it was his new mansion. Oh, okay. Yeah. You can Airbnb a mansion? Yeah, I've done it in Vegas.

Maybe we should Airbnb a mansion. Hell yeah, we should, man. It rules. Every year I think about doing a Christmas party and just Airbnb-ing it, but then you gotta find the one Airbnb. It's like, we accept parties and events.

Oh, yeah. True, true, true. We've got to have that low-key Christmas party. If people bring their sweaters and a duffel bag. I did have to have a low-key Christmas party one year when my apartment complex burned down. Whoa. What?

Oh, God. My apartment was not, my side of the complex was not affected, but it was like, I had already put all the decorations up and people were already on their way over. That's hilarious. And I was just kind of like, hey, we're going to just kind of be chill tonight because the other half of the apartment complex just burned down. Wow. They were away in a manger.

Shut up. They were away in a manger. I would have just texted all my friends like, hey, just put a log on. It was so funny seeing- So when they get there, you're just freaking out like, no, no, no. People got to the door and like, I would open the door and be like, hey, just put a log on. It was so funny seeing. So when you get there, you're just freaking out like, no, no, no. People got to the door and I would open the door and be like, hey. And their faces would be like, hey, what is that? The side of it, it's all burnt out.

And I was like, yeah, I'm going to be chill. And then by the end of the night, people were drunk and started messing with me and just slowly singing We Didn't Start the Fire. And I was like, don't. We can't. Oh, my God. Man. They're going to hear.

Chestnuts roasting on a kitchen counter. Right next to your teddy bear. Well, that's the DMX Beatles collab. Oh, yeah. What did he? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Come out. Come out.

I thought this was Blink-182. Damn, son. I thought this was Blink2. Damn, son. I thought this was blink 182 until just now. You're really good at that voice. You're really good, right? It's a very specific voice. What if you found out I was the damn son? Where'd you find this guy?

Dude, I don't even know how I'd react. I would be starstruck every day I walk into work. Yeah. That would be how I would open. I do a podcast with the damn son. Where'd you find this guy? Yesterday, David showed me that video of the Chili's Baby Back Ribs dudes. And that was amazing to see the behind the scenes on that.

That was crazy. I want to see the behind the music on that. I want to watch an hour documentary about that. They're NSYNC. That was the band NSYNC. Oh. They turned into NSYNC. That was the band NSYNC. Oh. They turned into NSYNC.

Did you see the video of the Chili's Band? I saw you guys watching it. I didn't see it, but I did listen and go, it's still a good song. We might be doing a bit. Keep your eye on the Late Late Show on Monday. Is she in silent on Twitter? Yes, sir. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Indeed.

What do you got coming up, buddy? I do have some dates. Also, Come to Faded. Well, we only have one more for this year, but we're coming back. But it's tomorrow. It's tomorrow. When you're listening to that, do it. Come to Faded tomorrow.

It is the best show in Los Angeles right now, in my opinion. Hell yeah. Thank you. It's so fucking fun, man. I went last night, and it was a fucking blast. Come on. It was so much fun. We're serving hot dogs.

We got brats. I walked in last night and David was like, all right, what you want? A Hebrew national or a brat? And I just stood there for like a few seconds and was like, give me a Hebrew national. Come on. Of course you want a Hebrew national. You want a Hebrew natty. We got natty lights and Hebrew natties.

Hebrew natties, dude. You can't say that. I can say that. We can't say that. You can't say that. I can't say that. Are you talking about the grocery store? I'm talking about those Heabnatties.

No, that's him. HEBnatties. HEBnatties. That's the bar next door to fucking Slim Jim Minis. If you don't feel like Slim Jim Minis, I'm just going to take it easy. I'm going to go to HEBnatties tonight. Man, I didn't even go

to bars, but I would go into Slim Jim Minis. Oh, you couldn't get into Slim Jim Minis. What if you go to AGB Natty's? You don't build Slim Jim Minis. AGB Natty's is more well lit than like a surgery theater. It's bright in there.

That entire block's fucked up. Yeah, I hate that block. I hate that block. There's a weird block. I hate that block. There's the fucking pot belly sandwiches on there, too. Oh, man. Weird places you can find one of those. I always think it's going to be a good idea to eat pork belly, and then I'm like, I can't handle it. Every time I see it on a menu, I'm just like, wow.

I ate some pork belly with your dad one time. Sure, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, West Van Horn Show years ago. That's right. Yeah, they were cooking up pork. I think Carmel is a legend just from me listening to the podcast. I'm just like, I need to meet this man. Dude, he's a shock collar.

You brought your mom into the office and without restraint, you were like, this is my mom. I went, Saint Sue? Yeah. And she did not hear, thank God. She hears it a lot. She did at Sean's album recording. She was more popular than me. Really? Yeah. That's beautiful.

She was like the second most famous person there. It was Sean and then Saint Sue Carmel. That's great. And then Shane Torres' ponytail, and then me. Old Red Shane Torres. Oh, man. Okay, yeah. No, I do have some new dates, though, which is exciting. December

1st, I'm in Seattle at u-dub i will have information about that online soon december 1st yeah december 2nd back to pdx what your boy is headlining the siren oh hell yeah man on december 2nd and then uh december 15 16 and 18, I'm at the Shelton Theater up in San Francisco. There you go. January 17th and 18th, I believe, I'm going to be back at the Velveeta Room in Austin, Texas. More dates coming soon. Where's the Velve? The Velve is in Austin. No, when? January 17th

and 18th. And yeah, more dates coming soon because I'm running sets for stuff. You might be running sets for stuff. What's with the questions? Come on, chill out. Back off, alright? Chill out. You might be running sets for something that's coming out. Maybe I just love doing stand-up a lot.

Maybe you, Christo. Maybe it's a love of the game thing. Maybe you're not. Keep your eyes on your own paper. All right? Fucking chill out. Don't worry about David's paper. But also buy tickets to all that, because that would be cool.

Show up. Oh, also, I'm going to be in the Blue Room Valentine's Day weekend. I'm going to be at the Blue Room in Springfield, Missouri. Oh, that's a make-up date. Am I correct? Yes. That's not romantic. I don't know what it is. It's a make-up date.field, Missouri. Oh, that's a make-up date. Am I correct? That's not romantic. It's a make-up date. It's a make-up date and a make-out date. It's a make-out date, dude. We could make it in. Yeah. We could make it

anywhere. I've heard every David Borey comedy show is like Valentine's Day. Yeah. That's where couples meet. People get married off my joints. Yeah. You're in Portland on December 2nd? Yes. Which is a Sunday.

Is that the right day? I might be wrong. Well, now- Well, just take a look right now. I'm just taking a look. Because if it's on a Saturday, who knows who will show up? Who knows? Who knows? Who's to say?

Barack Obama could appear. Barack Obama. Barack Obama. That's a Richard Bain bit. Shout out to Richard Bain. Oh, man. He's got to give Richard Bain credit for it. PDX original. Barack Obama. Total PDX original. Shout out to fucking Richard Bain bit. Shout out to Richard Bain. Oh, man. He's always got to give Richard Bain credit for it. PDX original.

Barack Obama. Total PDX original. Shout out to fucking Richard Bain, man. Yeah, man. Fuck with Richard Bain. It is Sunday. It's Sunday, December 2nd. That's a great night to see stand-up.

Yeah. Yeah. It happens sometimes. You still never know who's going to show up. Still never know. Still don't know. Barack Obama doesn't have a job. Barack Obama.

Does he not have a job yet? I mean, he's got a job, but he doesn't want to be doing it. Yeah, okay. He works at H-E-B-N-A-T. He's just covering some shifts until he gets his shit together. He doesn't work back there. He's saving up to buy, he's a mixer.

For his fucking folk rock jam band. Michelle didn't like me being in the house so much, so I decided to get a job. Only part-time. Oh man, he's just bagging your groceries and you're like, what? Let me do that. Like the guy from the Cosby show?

We need you back for just one last job, bro. Would you like some change? Makes that joke every time. It's like, no, yeah, like the camp. It's funny because his speech pattern is similar to DMX's. It is. That's what you're hearing.

Listen, X is going to give it to you. Fuck waiting for you to get it on your own. X is going to deliver it to you. While waiting for you to get it on your own, X gonna deliver it to you. My dog's gonna stop. Your dog's gonna drop. And then we go, shut him down, open up shop.

That sounds like a good foreign policy. But that's all my dates. Beautiful dates. Beautiful dates. Beautiful dates. Beautiful drums. Count Zacula. Hello.

From Glen Sylvania is in the studio. Yeah, I flew in last night. He flew in, dude. Took the red eye. How are you doing, Bubby? I'm doing great. Is that at Zach Toscani with a K, mind you, on Twitter? Yeah, yeah.

And at Zach Toscani with a K. On Instagram. First of all, it's just at Zach Toscani. But you spell it with a K. Yes. So people aren't looking for Zach Toscani with a K. On Instagram. First of all, it's just at Zach Toscani, but you spell it with a K. Yes. So people aren't looking for Zach Toscani with a K. Exactly. Yeah, it's a different man.

That's a different person completely. Z-A-K. Z-A-K. Beautiful, elegant, sleek. Sleek. It is sleek. Also with a K. Dude.

Yep. Fun to think of your name as like a car. Oh, man. Ian Carmel. Ooh. What is that? I feel like it's a... I feel like it's a... i feel like it's a it's a i feel like it's a i feel like it's like a buick commercial yeah yeah like it's there's no top on that car like a rendezvous

oh what is that a car a buick rendezvous oh yeah yeah it's like they're on suv shit a buick rendezvous sounds like what you have at a david boris yeah well i mean let's just say, I'm the product of a Buick rendezvous. If two divorced people fuck in a car, it's a Buick rendezvous. Wow. That is for sure.

Oh, man. Get it on Urban Dictionary. Put it out there. That is for sure Oh man Get it on Urban Dictionary Put it up there Oh I keep laughing the Top off this mic Yeah dude Give me a good show

Damn son The mic sleeve won't stay on Can I get a new mic sleeve? Damn son Give me a new mic sleeve Oh man This one's just dripping DJ mic sleeve Damn, son, give me a new Mike Sleeve. This one's just dripping.

DJ Mike Sleeve. Stomp, stomp, stomp. New shit, new shit. Mike Sleeve won't stay on the microphone. 1998. Shout out to Cedric Sabalos. Who? Cairns and I are three.

Cairns and I are three. There is Ralph specific drops. Yeah. who carrots in our three carrots in our three clue there was Ralph's specific drops yeah it's grandpa season rotisserie raisins are new the alcohol

the coronas oh man sea serpent birthday cake oh shut it down now by the way that was the best birthday cake, right? The sea serpent.

Do you remember that? It was fun colors. It was fun. But then it would have like the sea serpent in the corner, but it would have like one hump and then it would be a black cake. And then another, so it looked like it was coming in. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Yeah. Cause you were like, Ooh, that's a good chunk of frosting. Yeah. I was always the kid eyeballing the cake before. I was never the one ashamed of being like, yeah, I want that piece. a good chunk of frosting. Yeah. I was always the kid. I liked you eyeballing the cake before. I was never the one ashamed of being like, yeah, I want that piece. No, I want the heavy frosting piece.

You want the corner. Yeah. Probably with those crusty roses, you know? Oh, yeah. I'll take those every time. Those are great. Friend of the program, enemy of the people, Zach Harper is obsessed with the hamburger birthday cake.

Yeah. Which one? Talk Hoops? Talk Hoops. Yeah. Talk Hoops loves the cheeseburger birthday cake. Which one? Talk Hoops? Talk Hoops. Yeah, Talk Hoops loves the cheeseburger birthday cake. They have fries, too, on the side. And those fries are also cake. I went on a date with a baker once and then saw those cakes the very next day.

And I was just like, what do you think about these? And she was like, that is an abomination. It's the last text I ever saw from her. That is so funny. It's so funny. I'm not even mad because I'm just like, that is an abomination. It's the last text I ever saw from her. That is so funny. It's so funny. I'm not even mad because I'm just like, I guess these cakes fucked me up. She got so mad. Fine.

So fuck you, Gelson's. I bet there has to be, right? Because it feels like high-end bakers must hate all that. I absolutely hated it. Fuck you, Gelson's is one of the funniest things you can say. That's my drop. That's mine. Fuck you, Gelson's.

That's one of the drops that plays over the speaker at Ralph's. Oh, boy. I mean, I'm sure you've put together context clues last year. Ralph's is just like your sort of run-of-the-mill grocery store here in LA. Yeah, your Kroger. Gelson's is a little higher end. Your Kroger Brite, your Safeway, your Giant Eagle. Me and Zach went to Ralph's the other day in the secret entrance.

Yeah, through the back way, through the parking lot. And we made a friend. Shout out to Candace. Yeah, shout out to Candace. Yeah, the security guard rode with us down the elevator because she saw that we had four bags of ice, a bottle of vodka, and a case of hams. And she was like, whoa, where are you guys going? I want to be there too. And we were riding down the elevator and she was like, damn, I wish I was going with you guys.

And David's like, we can sneak you a couple. And she just let it go. But I was like, we would definitely give you like four beers. Yeah, for sure. Like Zach was like, yeah, it's a win-win. Right. Because either she's super cool or she's pretty cool. Right, right. One or the other. Yeah, she was like, she could have been like,

oh, but she was like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Then she told us to drink one for her. Yeah, yeah. She was like, when you're out there drinking, think of Candace. Pop one for Candace? I forgot. I'll do it today. Alright, yeah, yeah, yeah. I popped a hot dog for Candace. Well, there you go. She'd appreciate that. It's based on everything else I know about her.

Hashtag popping dogs for Candace. Do it, everybody. Let's actually do that later. Let's get that going, AFV family. Tag, tag. We will show it to her. Popping dogs for Candace. I believe that's what the number for. Yeah. Oh, 100%. Popping dogs for Candace I believe that's what the number for Yeah Oh

100% Poppin' Dogs for Candace Yeah Poppin' Dogs for Candace Grill up some dogs And just let's do it for Candace Yeah one time You know what that is

That's a go feed me That's a go feed me Poppin' Dogs If we get If we get 50 people Poppin' Dogs for Candace I will donate $100 To Planned Parenthood

Oh yeah Poppin' Dogs for Candace Poppin' Dogs for Candace, I will donate $100 to Planned Parenthood. Hell yeah! Popping dogs for Candace. Let's get it going. That's not for every 50. That's a one-time loan. I already give them $100 a month. Not made of money over here, alright? I got a growing family. Toscani, what do you

got going on, man? Yeah, same as David, just come to Faded. I'll be having some out of town dates uh to come so just look out for that but yeah look out for detox uh my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish caviar there we go oh. Oh. JCAV. What do I got going on? Not much.

You have to get separate cars for meat and cheese, right? That's different cars for meat and cheese. Is that right? Yeah. Oh, I do have dates. If you're listening to this, I will be in Boise, Idaho tomorrow night. Woo-hoo. Just doing a little stand-up comedy.

And? Seeing my girlfriend. I didn't know if we were allowed to. Okay, maybe I pushed it. Yeah! It was Instagram official, so I didn't know if it was. Okay, I'll chill out. I'll chill out.

It's official Big Swizzle across the whistle. Yeah, blow the whistle. Not across the whistle. Across the board, though. Blow the whistle. I'm doing the show called Hog Spoiled at Woodland Empire Brewery at 8 o'clock. I'm going to do a bunch of stand-up. It's going to be fun. I haven't been to Boise to do stand-up in years and years and years.

When's the last time you did Liquid Laughs? Yeah, a one-nighter when I featured. So it's been forever. This is the first time I've done a headline set in Boise. So come on out. I don't know when it'll happen again. Boise, he's coming home. And then I'm doing a—

Boise's back in town. Boise back in town. And then I'm doing a show up in Sun Valley the next night. Is that where they ski? Yeah, I'm going up to ski country somewhere. Oh, man, mountain town shows are fun in here. So look out on my Twitter for that. I don't even know what the details are because somebody hasn't texted me back about it.

But Sean. Da rhymes. She's doing too much. Do you think Sean Da Rhymes is really Da Buster Rhymes, folks? I would love it. It's some light listening. It's a light listening podcast. These mics are falling apart.

They're falling apart? We're killing the studio. Damn, son. Now Ian's mic is falling apart. Somebody got to glue these mics on, on, on. So I got the... Fucking hell. I'm falling apart over here.

It's because you forgot to mention Leanne Rimes. She's cursing the studio. Oh, and Leanne Rimes. Leanne Rimes. Busta Rhymes. Shonda Rhymes. What did Leanne Rimes sing? Um, blue.

Right? What? Something like that. I don't know about blue. She's within blue. What? I'm blue. Right? What? Something like that. I don't know about blue. She's being blue. What? Eiffel 65? I don't know.

I regret it. I've never sang. I've never sang in my life. Did she sing I Hope You Dance? I hope you dance. Yeah, that sounds right. I thought she sang Kiss Me. No, that's Sixpence Down the Richard.

Yeah. Kiss me. Did she have this kiss or was that Faith Hill? Oh, I love this kiss. Oh, I was thinking of Leigh-Anne Womack. You know what song she had was How Do I Live? How do I live without you?

I want to know how do I live without you? If you how do I live without you? If you don't know, how do I ever, ever survive? Oh, how do I? How do I? Oh, how do I live?

Alexa, call my girlfriend. You know. You were right about Blue, though. Apparently, that's one of them. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you were. And she just sings Blue for like a really long time, if I remember. What's wild is on Spotify, that song only has three million spins, dude.

It's like not even one of her ten most popular songs. Whoa. Wow. That's kind of deep cuts. She's got fingers. Good on you. Oh, and it was just announced last week. Now, if you're listening to this, hopefully you've copped tickets.

It was just announced last week. Now, if you're listening to this, hopefully you've copped tickets. I will be back at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon, March 8th. I thought it was the 6th. I don't know why I would think that. Let me look. Let me look. Let me look.

I think it's March 8th. I think you're right. Yeah, that would make more sense than what I said. That venue is the fucking best. It's fucking awesome. It's a really fun place to do stand-up. It's a great place to see stand-up. It's beautiful.

You're going to sell it out, too. I hope so. The last one sold out pretty quick, and then there were a lot of people trying to get tickets last minute. Don't be one of those people. There may be some special guests on the show. Anybody could be there. Barack Obama. It's possible.

We don't know. Yeah. We don't know where the country's going to be in March. We don't know, but DMX is a lock. He is going. We don't know. Yeah. We don't know where the country's going to be in March. We don't know, but DMX is a lock. DMX is in. Yeah. It's me and DMX, kind of a Billy Joel, Elton John situation, two mics facing each other. It's the walk this way of our generation.

I'm going to be doing a new stand of, I don't know know. Special is not the right word, but just a new set. I hesitate to say an hour because it might be a little shorter. It might be a little longer. Last year, I said I was going to do a new hour, and it was 90 minutes. So we'll see. It's just going to be a new big chunk of stand-up. I've been working on a lot of new stuff. I'm really excited about it.

There's going to be some new guests. If we sell it out, because of territorial restrictions, but if we sell out the show at the Siren, we sell out the show at the Revolution Hall, maybe we can announce a live certain kind of show. Ooh, that is a good incentive. Maybe we can announce that. That's a good reason for you guys to maybe come to these shows. Until then, because of restrictions, we can't announce anything like that.

So that's what I'm up to. I got that shit popping. Come see me in Portland. Come see me in Boise. People can also see a thing that you did as of this dropping last night. Oh, yeah. Oh, I just did stand-up on the Late Late Show.

Oh, shit. Good call. Yeah, at this point, I would have been on there with a fresh outfit that I already got planned. I bought the shoes last night. Is it the Eddie Murphy suit from Raw? It's the Eddie Murphy suit from Raw.

Yes. Oh man, the shoes are on point. They're point shoes. I'm wearing ballerina point shoes. Beautiful. Yeah, so watch my, go on YouTube and check out my set from last night. Share it, retweet it. Share it, retweet it, like and subscribe. Watch the Late Late

Show in general. Come to Good Looks the first and third Wednesday at UCB to see hot stand-up comedy. Go see Faded. Listen to all fantasy everything. Now, we're not just gathered here in beautiful HeadGum Studios. Gorgeous. Gorgeous to talk about CBS and Viacom properties.

No. Oh, I might mention that later. It might come up later. It might come up later. It might come up later. We are gathered here today to draft back-to-back things. Right? Yeah. Back-to-backs.

No limitations. I thought it was back-to-back-to-back. I thought it was three. No, it was two. If you got a three, that's impressive. I only had threes. You had threes? All I did was threes.

That's wild. We're just doing back-to-back, Kate. You didn't give him the text? God damn it. I was like, when Zach was like, when I got to your house this morning and Zach was like, I had to chill out and figure out how to like siphon it. I was like, how does he have so, I don't know why I thought it was back-to-back-to-back. No, it was just back-to-back.

Well, it was at first. Well, we were talking about doing back-to-back-to-back movies, but then we cut it down to... Just back-to-back. Back-to-back. Well, either way, I got a list. Yeah, just cut one off of each of those. Yeah. No, I'm doing back-to-back-to-back.

Well, I'll just say this. You can use each one of those twice, technically. We'll figure it out, but I got... Yeah. God damn it, David. How do these guys have so many three-peats? All right, all right, that's cool, though. I'm excited to see what you do out here.

Yeah, I know. You might even come up with some other ones on top, right? Oh, I got some moves. Okay. I got some moves. Well, to determine the order of this draft, whether we're doing back-to-back or back-to-back-to-back-to-back, whatever I said, we are going to determine the order with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you when we throw on shoot. rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you

when we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ooh. Ooh, a stalemate. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. A stalemate. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Oh! David Boren! A straight straw! Yeah. A straight straw! He stayed rocked the whole time. He stayed rocked up the whole time. By the way,

faded last week, David had a run. He was rocked up the whole time. Faded last week. David had a run. He was rocked up the whole time. He had a bone or the entire show. Wait, what? You were talking about your method of how you win so many rock, paper, scissors outside of... I don't know what you're talking about.

There's on-mic stuff. Can I tell you my method? It doesn't work here, but I always just say I I'm going to throw scissors, and then I throw scissors. It's harder in a three-way. I know, but when I say it, people are just like, he's not going to do it. And I'm like, no, I'm telling you the truth right out the gate. I'm going to throw scissors. If you want to play correctly, you can easily defeat me.

But everyone thinks I'm fucking with them, so they just do something else. They're playing Amir, you know? They start playing themselves. It's really a head game more than anything. Oh, so they just do something else. They're playing Amir, you know? They start playing themselves. Fools. It's really a head game more than anything. Oh, yeah. Inconceivable. It's pronounced head gum. It is inconceivable. Head gum. Yes. Oh, my bad. Man. Head gum.

You're playing Amir from Head Gum. Correct. Amir from Head Game. David Boyd, it is time for you to... Before you determine the order of the draft I need to remind you

of one thing what type of draft is it it is a serpentine draft and Demi since you're in Sean's seat oh fuck wait now you asked me oh man

what is a serpentine draft oh I'm so glad you asked a serpentine draft so you ever been to uh you know you're out for an out on the town

you're walking down the street right and you see those beautiful lights at the H-E-B Natty. So, of course, you walk in the door, but you get in there and you're like, ah, my eyes. It's too bright. So you walk outside, but next door, you see it's a ladies' night at Slim Jim Minis. So you walk into Slim Jim Minis, but when you walk into Slim Jim Minis, you get yourself one of the famous Monte Cristos.

Bouncer catches you and he's like hey how old are you you say 32 he kicks you out so now you gotta go right back in to H-E-B Natty's and you know you go in and get one of their Monte Cristos but you forgot about how bright those lights are and you're just walking back and forth between Slim Jim Minis and H-E-B Natty's

on the same block that's a serpentine draft well done fantastic round of applause for Dem fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second. Fantastic. Round of applause for Demi in the studio. Well played.

Wow. Sean's going to hear this and be like, you never applaud for me. That's right, Sean. And we never do a big boy hello either. Hello. All right. Take that, you bag of flour.

Yeah, you fucking bag of flour. Dave, what will the order of the draft be today? I'm going to go. I don't think anybody's going to take mine because I did threes. It's going to be crazy if you go first. I honestly think I might take at least one of yours. All right. I'm going to go first just in case.

Wow. I'm going to go me, Demi, Zach, Ian. My man. You know where I like to be. You like the hot corners. I love it. And I appreciate you putting me there, man. It really means a lot. Because I never play the rock, paper, Ian. My man. You know where I like to be. You like the hot corners. I love it. And I appreciate you putting me there, man. It really means a lot.

Because I never play the rock, paper, scissors. So when someone puts me like... I understand. I love you, man. I understand. I love you back. So with the first pick in the back-to-back, dot, dot, dot, all fantasy, everything draft, David Boer, you are on the clock.

I'm picking back-to-back, et cetera. Okay. And I'm picking the... What year is it? Let me get the year so I don't blow it. The 1993 to 1994 TGIF Friday Night Lineup. Oh! Family Matters, Boy Meets World, and motherfucking Step by Step.

Wow. I swear to God, I had that on here. Really? Yes. Wow, you did have one of them on. Yes! Damn. That wasn't

That wasn't even the one But yeah That's a fucking line up man Yep Just date Come on man Who didn't Who didn't

Check into that If you had to pick two of them You're probably going Family Matters Boy Meets World Yeah Just cause I'm not from A blended family Like that

But Step by step was like Easily the most like Facade like That's the cut The best thing about Step by step Was a theme song That was it I love that song Step by Step was easily the most facade-like. That's the cut. The best thing about Step by Step was the theme song. That was it.

I love that theme song. Step by step, day by day. Let's start over a different and a way. The people we love, the stronger we stay. We'll make it better second time around. That roller coaster? What? You see that roller coaster?

Oh, yeah. It zooms out. It's going away from the beach? Yeah. I was like, where is that? Yeah. And TJ was funny. Where did they live in Step by Step?

Was it like Washington or something? I don't remember. Yeah. But the dumb brother. I liked the dumb brother. And I liked the small blonde boy. You're talking about boys again, man. We're going to...

Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me. Don't you do that to me. Don't you do that to me. I can't talk about my love for Step by Step. I also picked Boy Meets World, in which I liked the little boy. Man, that's weird. Who did you like in Boy Meets World?

Mr. Feeny. Okay. Dude, just stopped a criminal, World? Mr. Feeny. Okay. Dude, just stopped a criminal, right? Yeah. Wonderful. You see that story? He's incredible. Someone tried to break into his house.

I think Mr. Feeny's house, like the actor, I don't remember his name. William Dings? And I think he like stopped them from robbing his house. And he's like 91, 92. Was he like a gun or was he just like, Mr. Matthews? I know. Can you imagine? He administered a test.

If you watch TGIF and then you're breaking into a house and you're like, Mr. Feeney. Yeah, I'd bail. Yeah, you'd bail for sure. Also, shout out. Tony broke into their house. He hit the lights. Shout out to who? Jensen Karp, who married Danielle Fisher this week.

Oh, yeah. He married Topanga. Her name is Danielle. It's not Topanga? Blessings on you. Hey, the mazel tov congrats jensen yeah yeah i love that show i i i thought it was i look forward to that lineup every friday oh it was great yeah it was fucking great badass man yeah you got if you got a little pizza hut oh come on

if i got a little pizza hut we got about a personal pan pizza over here oh baby come on with those crispy pepperonis. Remember the Bigfoot back in the day? Man, I had one of those. I feel like I do. Was that long? Was that long pizza? It was a rectangle pizza.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had one of those Dream Team cups from McDonald's. Oh, yeah. Fill that to the brim. Sit down. Cherry Coke. The one where you used to sit in front of the TV like a hero. I had some toys.

I'm so uncomfortable so fast now. Yeah. Oh, God, sitting on the floor? I can't do crisscross applesauce anymore. like a hero yeah I had some toys I'm getting so uncomfortable so fast now yeah oh god sitting on the floor I can't do criss cross applesauce anymore I have like distinct memories

of like watching movies in my mom's room and then she'd go to sleep and I'm just watching like Sex and the City or like the movie Phone Booth

I watched and was like yeah oh wow like Colin Farrell right interesting yeah

I don't know why distinct memory but yeah TGIF man I love you I love Sex and the City Interesting. Yeah, I don't know why. Distinct memory. Yeah, TJIF, man. I love you. I love Sex and the City. I do, too. It's a great show. If y'all are out there arching an eyebrow at us right now thinking,

I'm a dude. I couldn't watch Sex and the City. Dude, watch Sex and the City. You're going to love it. It's great. It's fucking great. Also, you love sex and cities. And cities. Right. Stop denying yourself. Just a great cast It's fucking great. Also, you love sex and cities. And cities.

Right. Stop denying yourself. Just a great cast. Yes. Wonderful cast. Everyone in that show is fantastic. Fantastic. Ensemble.

Yeah, great pick, man. Thank you, thank you. And it's the three way. Dammit, time for your first pick? There are two that I'm like, one of these I gotta take immediately and I'm afraid of you guys taking, but I'm gonna go with my heart i'm gonna pick

this is almost a back to back to back to back to back to back to back and it's tom hanks oh damn i mean i can't i'll just tell you the run but i couldn't even pick two sleepless in seattle philadelphia forest gump apollo 13 toy Toy Story, That Thing You Do, Saving Private Ryan. Damn. Look at the fucking career. Damn. I can't pick two out of that and cut the rest. I think if I had to be true to myself, I'd say Toy Story, That Thing You Do, but like-

I would go with That Thing, Saving Private. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll put Philadelphia, man. Philadelphia, Forrest Gump was an Oscar back to back. Yeah, it was an Oscar back to back. Yeah, Forrest Gump, I can't tell how it's aged.

I can't like... Oh really? I think it got a little... Well, I think it aged fine, but I think it got like a little overhyped. Sure. Or we just what we consider to be an Oscar movie just warped and changed. I think it's definitely warped. I think, yeah. Well, Zemeckis 2, I feel like Schmaltz

hasn't quite aged like that, aged like that. That movie is very... Some people were like, oh, it's really trying to pull on your heartstrings. But I rewatched it. I had to rewatch it for work. I was like, I still love this movie. I don't mind having my heartstrings pulled on.

No, that's nice. You gotta remember you have them. Me and David talked about this where it's like those... Sometimes in commercials, you get that cry hiccup where you're like, if I really just let go, I could cry right now.

Those new LeBron commercials have been getting me. I have a buddy who was at Faded last night. I don't want to say his name just in case there's NDAs and stuff, but he like, it was Barack Obama.

And he showed me a commercial he wrote on his phone, and they had filmed it and everything. It's not out yet, but it fucking made me cry on the street in Fairfax. Oh, man. I didn't openly weep, but my eyes were all welled up. Right. Oh, shit. Dude, I love it.

You don't miss crying to good media. I feel like I just have not done that in so long. I'll get to the point where I'm like, the next thing will get me to fully tear up. Oh, man. Yeah. Sometimes I'll just watch a finale of a show. Oh, shit. You know, if you're like, I just need to drain.

Yeah. Six Feet Under, that's a good one for that. You know what gets me? Oh, my God. Which one? Six Feet Under. Oh, God. That's a fucking.

That's one that really nailed where you're like, on paper, I'd be like, I don't know if that's going to work. Yeah. And it really works. I got to watch Six watch six feet under i've never watched finales like or like cheers you know anything where it was like man there was really like how come he don't want me on fresh prince oh man then you can just look that up on youtube exactly yeah just the three minutes the one that's just the fresh prince standing in the empty house oh god that shit or martin the last episode where he writes, I'll miss you on the wall, and then walks out of the apartment.

Man. I don't know what it is, but I've always had that. Whenever I leave a place, no matter how long I've lived there, I always do the, like, you clean out the room and you look one last time, like, hey, it was nice being here. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good feeling. Right? It's a good feeling. I just got sad just thinking about that.

Damn it, Sean's not here to cheer us up. Oh, no. Hey. We all just start crying. You guys got it. You know, when God closes a door, he opens a window, and know, you move to a new place and you make new memories at that place. Alright, yeah.

Oh, hot sauce! I'm back! I'm back, I'm back, I'm back, I'm back, alright, yeah. Degbuck. Degbuckness, dude. Buck Degbuckness. Buck rendezvous. Scandalous randless with a sock tandalous. Sausage. Sausage face.

Tori. Tori. Cole! Nicole! candlestick sausage face yeah yeah yeah tori tori oh man i forgot there's a the part in that movie fear with marky walberg where he carves nicole forever yeah on his torso oh wow just made me think of sean yeah exactly dude sleepless in seattle fucking ph. That'll be speaking of crying. Yeah, man. That movie, dude. The way it ends with the home video, it's at his funeral or like the visitation and it goes to the TV that's playing his old home videos. Man.

Have they ever teamed up since? Who, Denzel and Tom Hanks? Denzel and Tommy? Oh. I don't think so. They gotta get the band back together. Get that magic. Tom Hanks turned down that role in Two Guns.

Yeah. He was going to be the bad guy, the equalizer. They should, though, man. That's a power. And Antonio Banderas. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah.

Just get that whole run it back. I like to think that they probably went out one night. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Just get that hole. Run it back. I like to think that they probably went out one night. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Could you imagine? You're in Slim Jim minis and you turn over. It's fucking Banderas, Hanks, and Washington. What do you even do?

Who do they bring the drink to first? When they come over with the tray, it's Banderas, Denzel, and Hanks. What are the drinks? Oh, I's Banderas, Denzel, and Hanks. What are the drinks? Oh, I think Banderas is getting shafted, but there's someone just at the same time putting the drinks

in front of Tom Hanks. They're trying so hard. They get three separate people. Time it the fuck out. Or it's Denzel first because they're afraid, then Antonio because they're just like,

oh, we'll put you in between these two, and Tom Hanks because he's so nice, he won't think anything of it. It also depends on who's serving. Yeah. I bet Tom gets up and helps them put the drinks down.

Sure. Maybe he's up at the bar bringing them back over. Yeah. Ooh. I can see that being the case. And Denzel does that smiling, shaking his head, my man thing. Tom Hanks.

I could listen to Denzel talk forever all the forever i don't even understand what the quality of his voice is but it's like man that dude's got a voice and it's the cadence it's like the way he talks yeah right from the beginning he's like always had that even when you see him in like when he's really young you're like wow you've always had it where's he from he's got to be from new york right is he from new york yeah i'm gonna say washington no i i was like why do i think that oh because of his name i just he has a strong washington yeah he's from new york yeah kind of like over there wow yeah he sounds like he would say new york cool new york new york people from new york say say New York really cool. They really do.

Vernon, baby. Did you guys see that video? That's where Heavy D's from. Yeah. You guys see that video going around this week of an extremely New York guy petting a bodega cat? No. Oh, it was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. I'm into that.

He's like, that's a good fucking cat right there. I was like, yeah. Oh, man. I loved it. That's a good fucking cat. Look at those whiskers there. He's still soft. He's not even scared of nothing. Look at that. That's a good fucking cat right there. I was like, yeah. Oh, man. I loved it. That's a good fucking cat. Look at those whiskers there. He's so soft. He's not even scared of nothing.

Look at that. That's a good fucking cat right there. That's a brave cat. You need a brave cat in a time like this, you know? It's important. Is this your Air Judge jersey? Okay, you're kidding.

What do you think about the Mets this year, huh? You think I got a chance to bounce back here? What about this Chris Stapps-Post-Ningus guy? We gotta get the cat on the team. What about this cat?

This cat can play point guard. Grand tradition of New York point guards. You've got Sebastian Telford. You've got Stephon Marbury. You've got this cat. Those are the big three for me. Tiny Archibald. I mean, if you count Earl Monroe, Tiny Archibald,

I mean, those are the greats. But anymore, I don't think. This cat looks like, you know, that's the thing about New York cats is that you've got to play out in the wind. So it's more about the crossover than the jump shot. You know, this is a cat who can get to the rim. That is what they say about it.

And they're just talking to a guy at a, like at a deli. He's like, what sandwich? Or he's making sandwiches going, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. I for sure didn't think Sebastian Telfair was going to come up on this podcast. Oh, yeah.

He comes up once an episode. We always sneak him in there. He's like Superman on Seinfeld. Dude, did I ever tell you one of the, I tried to, like, one of the, you know when you put on a movie just to make out and have sex? Oh, yes.

I did that with Philadelphia once with a girl and we've never seen it. I didn't know. Oh, you hadn't seen it? I didn't see it. You thought it was going to be like a love movie about Philadelphia? I think it's about the history of Philadelphia. I didn't know it was going to be so.

Oh, you thought it was like the boys to men, like Motown Philly? It's a movie about cheese sinks with Ted Salad and Tom Hanks. What could go wrong? It was a bloody comedy. I didn't know it was going to be quite so sad. Heavy. Hebe. I thought hebe, hebe. I was like, yeah, it's a great movie. Let's watch it.

It'll trail off. At one point, I was just weeping in front of her. Hard. Crying hard. That'll set the mood. You can't have sex until after that movie. You can't have sex after that movie? Then you start thinking about what happened.

I think I could have sex after that movie Because then you start thinking about what happened I think I could have sex after that movie I think I could do it You drive to Reno and get married after that movie Oh man, it's the David Borey Challenge I had a situation Hey guys, everyone out there You take the David Borey Challenge I wanted to blow up, but not like this

No I had a situation where A girl came over and she was like, oh, just put on a movie. And I was like, oh, just any movie? And she was like, yeah, I don't care. And I think I was like- Sounds like she didn't want to watch a movie. Well, I was like, Silver Linings Playbook. And she was like, don't be a pussy.

And I was like, what? What did she say? Yeah. What does that mean? I know. And I was like, hey, I really like that movie. And she was like, just- Fine, Platoon, bitch. She was like, I really like that movie. Fine platoon, bitch.

She was like, no, she said, just put on an action movie. And I was like, okay. And then I put on Good Morning Vietnam. Oh, man. She wanted to beg to an action movie? She's crazy for Philadelphia? She wanted to fuck a bad boy's dick. Zach's over here having sex with hardcore Republicans?

You're like, that's the Romney, Larry Cooper. I want to see American Sniper. Put on Jarhead. Jarhead. Why are you rooting for the other side? You put on Hurt Locker, and then I'm going to put you in Hurt Locker. Jarhead, I'm trying to have sex. Just trying to give you some Jarhead.

Hey, David, do you have that Jarhead DVD, man? Hold on. Just banging on his door. Did you just say, I'm trying to get me some Jarhead? I said she's trying to give you some Jarhead. Hey, David, do you have that jarhead DVD, man? Hold on. Just banging on his door. Did you just say I'm trying to get me some jarhead? I said she's trying to give you some jarhead.

Oh, well done. Oh, boy. Fucking great run of movies, though. Yeah, you can't really. You know what's an underrated one of his is Joe vs. the Volcano.

You ever seen that? Oh, I thought you were talking about jarhead. I was like, Jake Gyllenhaal was it. Yeah, yeah. You played the volcano? Jake vs. the Volcano. I love it. I was like, Jake Gyllenhaal was it. You played the volcano? Jake versus the volcano.

I love it. I haven't seen that one. That's great. Joe Dante movie. He has so few bad, like even the bad movies he's in, he elevates. Yeah, he really does. Like the Circle, garbage movie. He's great in it.

Oh yeah, he is great in the Circle. He's like the Steve Jobs type, right? Da Vinci Code, he elevates, but also Paul Bettany whipping himself elevates that movie, too. Paul Bettany's great. Yeah, that was kind of crazy. God, I was scared of that guy. I liked that movie. It's terrifying.

I like that book. I like any of those faux, fake history investigation movies. Yeah, I'm into that show. National Treasure. I was going to say that. All of them. Yeah. And it's just fun to be like, Jesus had a family.

Yeah, exactly. Whoa. Yeah, Jesus had kids. Your friend Craig, he's a descendant of Jesus. Toscani, time for your back-to-back. All right, my back-to-back. I'm going to stay on the movie tip and go, I'm going to go Kurt Russell. He did Back-to-Back, Escape from New York in 1981 and The Thing in 1982.

And I am I think Caruso is my favorite actor. You love Caruso. Is that new Christmas movie that they're advertising with him in it? Yeah, the Santa Claus. I don't know. I might, you know, might skip that one or wait till Redbox or something.

It's on Netflix, baby. I'll wait for Redbox. He wants a disc. I want a disc. I gotta feel it. I'll wait for Redbox. He wants a disc. I want a disc. I gotta feel it. I wanna go to Ralph's. Shout out to Kansas. I love, yeah.

And both John Carpenter films. He's like one of my favorite directors. Both of those movies, man, were just like, those were movies that me and my dad would rewatch over and over and over again. I just saw the thing for the first time. What a fucking movie.

It's so good. Keith David. It really does. Escape from New York scared the hell out of me as a kid. Yeah. Is Escape from LA the second one? Yeah. That's the second one.

Yeah. Not as great. Not as great. That's what I hear. I haven't seen either one. Well, that was the thing. It's just the special effects were bad. Right.

What's the thing with like Carpenter or like there's that or art really in general is sometimes the limitations are really what make you creative. Yeah. But then when you start to have like, oh, CGI is possible, CGI or whatever. He like really kind of lost the thread on like what made those movies really fucking cool. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Those practical effects are amazing. Yeah.

In the thing? Yeah. Man. It was like half person, half alien. Coming out of the dog and stuff. Oh my God. Yeah. In the scene where they're all testing the blood.

I was gonna say. It's just the best. One of the best scenes. You're just like sitting in that scene and you're like, that would be so terrifying because you're like, one of you is the thing. I watched that movie I think for the first time last year and I just, I remember,

every time I watched like an old movie that people rave about, I was just like, so many people have adapted this that I probably won't affect me the same way. But I watched it and was like fucking glued to my seat the entire time. It's great. Did they try to remake it? They did. They did a prequel. Oh, a prequel. Because in the beginning of the thing is like, oh, it came from the Norway station.

So the prequel was what happened in that station. Apparently the prequel is not awful. It's not a thing. Yeah, it's not bad. Also, how crazy it opens like that, which is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With them shooting at that dog and the helicopter and like. And also the thing is kind of a remake.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I can't, I think it was The Thing from Another Planet or something like that. It's a 50s movie. Oh, really? And if you watch Halloween, the John Carpenter one, they are watching The Thing from Another Planet. The thing that he does in his movies,

they'll show them watching a movie and it's like a movie that he grew up loving. Nice. Damn. Which is cool. But yeah, Kurt Russell, man. He's the best. Kurt Russell, dude.

Loves baseball. I still haven't seen Escape from New York. Dude, it's... I gotta watch it. It's far. yeah, Kurt Russell, man. He's the best. Kurt Russell, dude. Loves baseball. I still haven't seen this game from New York. Dude, it's... I gotta watch it. It's fun. I love Kurt Russell. It's Kurt Russell

doing like Clint Eastwood, basically. Really? Yeah. It's really fun, man. That movie, like I said, I was so scared of that movie.

We're gonna have to have a Kurt Russell day. Ooh, I'm down. Russell it up. Last name Walt Disney wrote down before he died. Oh yeah, that's right. It's a weird thing.

Did anyone ever hazard a guess as to what that meant? Well, he was a Disney star at the time. Oh. So he was in movies. So maybe he was thinking of a new idea or something. What if it's like, this is who killed me. Yeah, exactly. We got to get him in a movie.

It was the boy with the computer for shoes or whatever. Computer or tennis shoes? Yeah, yeah was the boy with the computer for shoes or whatever the... Computer or tennis shoes? Yeah, yeah. The boy with the computer for shoes. Those early Disney titles were weird. Shit, oh, I also forgot to mention I had the Philadelphia Forest Gump back to back on my list.

Damn it. All right, time for my first pick. Back to back. And I am going to go from my beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy Devil in a New Dress into Runway. Maybe the best

Rick Ross appearance on any... I love Rick Ross on Devil in a New Dress. When he comes in, that's just sixth gear. He's so deep into that song. When he rides, when you listen to him really loud and it's just his kind of beat, the right kind of beat, he is impressive. Dude, he is such a strong seasoning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure, it's a bullion cube in the middle of the track. I'm not a big fan of a lot of just Rick Ross songs. No, he's a featured guy. Oh, you're like Purple Lamborghini? I love Purple Lamborghini. Is that the one from the Suicide Squad? Sure is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he just pops up on that song, it's so deep. Something about him and Kanye's production, I think Kanye knows how to get like... He knows how to get the best out of it. Because him on Monster, too. Yeah. Oh, man.

When I walked into Faded last night, they were playing that. Right when I stepped in, it was like, fat motherfucker, now look who's in trouble. And I was like. That's the best. Me, bro. I love it when shit like that happens. Oh, God, it's so great walking into like a good line. It's the fucking best.

It's like. That'll set your night up. It's like a the fucking best. That'll set your night up. That'll set your night up. The whole night up, yeah. Yeah, because now you're that guy. Yeah. I think that line is like the, Bitch, I'm a monster, no good blood sucker.

Fat motherfucker. Now, Luke, it's just so weirdly, like not self-deprecating, but it's just like he's down. It's like, I'm a monster, no good, but fat motherfucker. It's like, okay, are we starting off this way? Yeah.

That's the way like fucking you know like rap is so important to me because it's there's a lot of confident fat dudes man yeah heartthrob never fat black and ugly as ever yes that's like yo that you see but he was so handsome because he was so ugly right face chubby waist in shape john candy was never like uh like you know you never thought he was getting girls. No. Rick Ross had his shirt off. Yeah. All the time. That's crazy. Shout out to Pairs.

But all the time, yeah, and dude, Biggie was all like flossed up in the fucking like Coogee sweaters and the Gucci and all that stuff, man. By the way, keep you guys open for some Coogee fellas. Look out for Coogee. Fellas and ladies, just remember this name, remember C, fellas. Look out for Coogee. Or fellas and ladies. Just remember this name. Remember Coogee. Look out for Coogee.

Okay. But that production on Devil in a New Dress, like that guitar and whatever that sample is in the background. It's like beautiful. It is like, that's a really good. That's a really good. Yeah. I haven't said a word to you this evening.

It's so good. I haven't said a word to you this evening it's so good so lush is that is that where the uh hard to be humble when you're starting on jumbotron line is in that album yeah fucking lebron so many oh the lebron rhyme yeah i'm just like that's a hall of fame fucking it's so good man uh hood phenomenon it's what is it phenomenon the lebron around hard to be humble when you're Hood Phenomenon Hood Phenomenon The LeBron-a-Rom Hard to be humble when you're stuntin' on a Jumbotron My bones It's so good

It's so fucking good And then just like Yeah and then like Rick From there and then he's into his verse It's Let me fucking look it up May the gods be with us

It's like even without Rick Ross You'd be like Wow that was a really great song And then with that you're're like, what is happening? I'm pulling over the car. That's every song on that album, though. You're just like, this is pretty good. And then someone else comes in and you're like, what the fuck?

That's a song that you definitely, if you're listening to it and you're going to walk to meet up with your friends, you're like, I'm going to take my time until this song's over. Because it's never one that you're like, oh, I'm going to pause it. I'm going to just want to jump right back in. I want to flip the whole thing. It's the kind of song where you sit in the car until it's never one that you're like, oh, I'm going to pause it. Like, I'm going to just want to jump right back in. I want to, the whole thing. Kind of song where you sit in the car until it's done. Yes. It's samples Will You Love Me Tomorrow by Smokey Robinson. That's what the sample is.

It was one of the ones he made in Oahu. Oh, yeah. They recorded, yeah. 808. Put your hands to the congregation. The way you look should be a sin. You my sensation. God, looking at my bitch, I bet she'd give your ass a bone.

Looking at my wrist, it'll turn your ass to stone. Damn. He's got a Medusa watch. What is he? He's got one line. Anyway, yeah, dude, that fucking. What does he say where it's like, oh, she do it. What happened to her religion?

Oh, she lose it. What happened to her religion? Oh, she lose it. Yeah. In the runway. And then right in the runway. So then that song ends abruptly. It's like, it goes out like that. And it's quiet for a second. And then that first.

And I've talked about that song on here. It's maybe my favorite song of all time. You think so? Goosebumps. It's fucking my favorite song of all time. You think so? Goosebumps. It's fucking up there, man. I don't know what it is, but that song has never fully clicked with me. Really? Really.

You're a good guy. I don't know what it is. I don't know. It's like, I love the concept of it. I love this like open and honest Kanye. And I love the production. I like the, look at you, look at you. I love that.

I love the production more than anything. And I saw him live and I saw the production look at you look at you I love the production more than anything and I saw him live and I saw him do that song and I was like this is it feels so good but something about it it's just like I love the production I just don't yeah although push it on that song oh yeah push a verse Iqbal Crane with that motherfucking

top off I love that guy switch and go where back to where a knockoffs ha knock it off Neiman's shop it off let's talk Fucking top off. God damn, I love that guy. Switch and go where? Back to where? Knock offs? Ha. Knock it off. Neiman's, chop it off. Let's talk over Mai Tai's. Girl, let's top it off.

Let's keep. Man, I might listen to that on the way home and I'll probably, it'll, something will happen. That video of him performing it on SNL was something we'd rewatch, I think, every weekend. The SNL one and the VMAs one, cuz he just goes fucking hammer on the the 808 Yeah, he just got it out there on the pedestal and he's like plays the samples Yeah, like way longer plays different samples that are on the album version. I Like I man, I feel like I tell the story a lot but ever the first time I saw Kanye I he it was like the my beautiful my beautiful dark fantasy tour. He was in the red suit

He played good life He stopped in the middle of the song went over to the 808 and he was just like y'all hear that Michael Jackson sample right and he just started

playing PYT he was like pretty fucking good he went through like half the song he was like alright let's go back into it and he started

Good Life over again and I think about that all the time I think that was when I was like he's the greatest he's the greatest ever dude

the greatest he's the greatest I know he's fucking off his rocker right now. It's so upsetting. It's such a bummer. Yeah. But I will.

It's tough to. He's got a big mind is what I think. Yeah. I'll always come back. I just realized that. I thought I was like, oh, I'm off Kanye. That sucks. It's a bummer.

I don't care. I just can't. I like. It's hard because like. He's also a man he's lost right now. Yeah. Like. You root for him to come back. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's what we all want him to come back. care i just can't i like it's hard because he's also man he's lost right now yeah like i'm you root for him to come back yeah like that's what we all want him to come back on drugs you're like

i still love you i still think you're great i didn't know how pivotal was but like my freshman year at college they it was right after a college dropout came out and university of cincinnati got him to perform so i could sit on my balcony and it was like right over the concert pharrell showed up it was crazy my beautiful dark twist fantasy came out like when i went off to college and that album was like the most just being in college and having that album as the thing that like everyone's bonding around it's like yeah this is the most important time of our life and this album is like a universally acclaimed thing that we it's realizing that you're living in a moment is so fucking incredible it's an album that like if

you're hanging out alone and you're like man i'm just feeling sad you listen to it or if you're going to a house party you're going to hear tracks because it had things for every mood yes you have power you fucking the way the album opens with it can we get much higher? Elton John's on that album, man. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, he's on All of the Lights. Everybody's on All of the Lights.

I got to tell you about all I can say. That's Elton. Yeah. Wow. What? Yeah. Have you not seen the video at the end where they list everybody's on that song? Rihanna's on it. Elton's on it.

The video is so like frenetic I just don't know what to watch it should have been a good video man Rihanna's so good on that if you want it you can get it for the rest of your life something wrong also the level of beautiful

that Rihanna is in that music video makes me feel like I jumped out of a plane yeah I'm thinking of a plane. Yeah. I'm thinking of a different thing. Yeah, exactly. A moment of silence for Rihanna. Just for how hot she is. Pour one out.

Nothing wrong with her, just for how hot she is. Dude, yeah. And then Cudi's on there too, right? Like, getting my baby. No, no, no. Did he do the guitar? Or did Justin Vernon

Yeah Justin Vernon Did the guitar Yeah And Monster He's on Monster too Yeah Listen

We could gush about Kanye Yeah We could gush about that album We'll draft best moments From my beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy later We could We really could

Oh yeah Yeah so Devil in a New Dress and a Runaway I was just last thing about Runaway I was in New York I think it was for the Grammys last year and I was in some like weird I think it was like post breakup weird situation it was at some point in New York

like with other girls and just like I was drunk and like a little sad you know and I was like walking through New York like with other girls and just like I was drunk and like a little sad you know and I was like walking through New York City just listening to Runaway that's the right place to be like a little sad and drunk and like walking you know in a city that you don't live in

in a city you don't live in and also just like with like celebrity gout almost you know if that makes sense where you've just been so much glitz and glance cause we've been been to the Soho house with cord and like... That's crazy. All this shit.

Surrounded by famous people all day and just like, I don't know, just fat off it but also kind of disgusted by it. That's beautiful. My favorite thing in the world to do is walk around and just listen to music and just feel it. And doing that in New York is is like i could cry it's it is something about yeah it's the lights and how everything is so big and overwhelming yes like you feel insignificant in a great way we're just

like i can i'm just alone right now on this street right walking around at night yeah it's the perfect thing yeah yeah the anonymity that city gives you it's so great a little sprinkling of rain maybe i'll take it those fucking steam and sewers yeah man with the hot dog i'm just describing new york time square the empire state building this statue of liberty financial bros describing a cat so my next one i'm gonna go uh my man larry david'sinfeld to curb your enthusiasm back to back absolutely two of my favorite shows ever Seinfeld

to me is like the most beautiful show of all time those storylines I know I'm talking about it a bunch but just the way a fucking A, B, and C storyline will all wrap up at the end perfectly effortlessly and fucking hilariously the whole time.

It's amazing. It's so funny. I mean, what can you, like, not a lot of TV shows are still funny. Right. Well, I was like watching or I was over at

Friend of the Podcast, Dave Ross, and Chris Charpentier's apartment and we were going through, like, we'll watch Seinfeld and we were just going through every season and we were like,

we all remembered all the plots to every episode and I'm like there's no other show that I have yeah with no I have it with the Fresh Prince but other than that oh yeah same I'm gonna curb curb my the other one for me yeah dude curb the first time I ever saw it blew my doors off cuz I didn't know about Larry David yeah my stepdad was watching it. It was just, I was just, it's just, Curb's like the funniest to me.

Right. I fucking love him. It's, it's almost wish fulfillment. Like, I wish I could be that kind of a person. Yeah. Right. Where you have that much money

where you're like, I don't like this and I'm going to tell you about it. There's so many moments. I do some of that stuff in my life. It is fun. Someone did a poll once asking like people,

do you laugh at Curb because it's ridiculous or because it's relatable? And it was 50-50 I laugh because his name is Marty Funkhausen Marty Funk he's got that voice

I'm a fucking sucker for any time that a celebrity shows up in Curb playing themselves Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Ted Danson's great Christian Slater as himself David Schwimmer I'm not even a big David Schwimmer guy but when you hear it as David Schwimmer himself. Oh, Ted Danson's great. Christian Slater as himself. David Schwimmer? I'm not even a big David Schwimmer guy, but when you hear it as David Schwimmer, I was like,

I like this. They always play kind of J-Kids. J.B. Smoove is great in it. Man, he doesn't play himself, but he's so good. That scene where they switch phones and Tim Meadows calls J.B. Smoove thinking it's Larry. And he says, like, Barackadows calls J.B. Smooth thinking it's Larry.

Yeah. And he says like Barack Obama that ass. Yeah. Like that's one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen in anything. It's such a little throwaway line. That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Yeah. Is when like he's just talking to Jeff and Susie Espin walks in wearing this like camouflage jumpsuit. Cause she always dresses so ridiculous.

She walks in and he's like, oh, good afternoon, general Petraeus. It fucking kills me. It's just the way he says it with so much. Cause he loves tweaking her so much. Yeah.

The joy in him that he's like, like, like he realizes the gift. More than like most shows when it's like a scene with two characters, you really feel like, oh, I know these people and I know this dynamic. When it's Jeff and Larry, you're like, oh, it's going to be them bullshitting and being friendly and stuff. And then when it's Richard, it's conflict. Right. He does have these very clear relationships with people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you see the scenes where everyone's together and it's all just like a pot of stew. It's so much energy. And his energy with people, like him and Leon is such a funny like. It's great. He's so delighted. They're so delighted by each other. Like what was that where he was like, Leon's like, how am I going to fuck bitches in a twin bed?

Yeah. He's like, you've been fucking in my room? And you're like, what is going on? Who are these guys? Oh, man. The thing you were saying about how all of those characters, when they all come together, is one of the reasons that the season finale where they are dealing with the chef that has Tourette's.

Everyone just starts fucking swearing. It's one of my favorite moments on television. Boy cunt, girl cunt, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is like, this is I Am Spartacus moment. And they just zoom in on Larry

looking so satisfied. It's a beautiful, beautiful minute of television. And also like, yeah, just the thing that was, they thought he was, they thought the chef was a Holocaust survivor

because he had numbers written on his arm, right? And then he just like, washed it off. Oh my fucking Lord. I conflated the two because the other, it's boy-cunt, right? And then he just like washed it off. Oh my fucking lord. I conflated the two because the other, it's boy cock, girl cock,

yeah, yeah, yeah. But the other one is fuck you, you car wash cunt. You know that one? It's so good. All these awful people. He's so good at writing terrible people.

Yeah. Not even terrible, but just like real people. Yeah. Truly flawed people. Glossy, yeah. Not these fucking glossy. Yeah. Truly flawed people. Yeah. Not these fucking glossy. The flaws are on display.

Yeah. Yeah. And you love them anyway. I never finished that last season, but now I just, I have to. It's good. The Seinfeld reunion? It's not as good, but it's good. Seinfeld reunion season.

That one's amazing. That was amazing. When Marty Funkhauser is telling Jerry Seinfeld that joke. Ha! Ha ha! That shit. Oh my God, it makes me want to poop my pants. That was so

what was the punchline? You left your cunt in the sink. By the way, your cunt is in the sink. And it's like it's like in the most inappropriate way. The way the setup is so, he's just taking a young wife and he wants, and he loves, and she's like

my dearest love, I love you so much. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. P.S. Your cunt is in the scene. And like, I heard about that scene and apparently they wouldn't, he's like, he's not going to tell Jerry the joke beforehand. So it's Jerry's actual first time hearing the joke.

That's so cool. So his reaction is real. Because that's one of my favorite moments is like I love it when somebody tells a joke where they totally didn't read the tone of what's going on it's just like to see that captured on TV is fold them in half a little bit it's fucking perfect

like Michael Richards subplot of that entire season of him like trying to bounce I genuinely was like this is a brilliant way to address and bounce back from a controversy like this to the point that when it was all over I was like man what is a brilliant way to address and bounce back from a controversy like this. To the point that when it was all over, I was like, man, what he did wasn't that bad. It was, but I was like, just convince me. Then you played the clip again.

Toscani, tell me your second pick. Okay, second pick. This is going to be, you know, I'm going with David's ethos. You got to go with you. You got to go with you. You got to go with you. I'm going to pick the back-to-back of the French Open and Wimbledon. Oh, yes. That is a Tuscany pick.

Wow. Yeah, very Tuscany pick. Yeah, I mean, I've talked about it before. I love tennis. And those two tournaments, because of how far away they are, one's in France, one's in England. And they're just, one is red clay, one is grass. I have to wake up early to watch the matches.

That's fun to have a reason to wake up at 5 a.m. on a Sunday. Watching sports at weird times is fun. It's great. It's the best thing about Thanksgiving with a family. It is great. Just having to wake up early and stay in your pajamas. I do like that. And there's always the one family member like, oh, we're just going to watch Sports Little Boy.

And you're like, come on. Yes. You're a Tuscany. We've done this every year. Don't flip through a book. Right. It's just on in the background. Right.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's where, yeah. Holiday sports are great for that. Yeah. Like NBA Christmas.

Oh, man. Just put it on the background. If you're distracted by it, stop watching. Turn your back to it. Uncle Tad. I'm just saying weird names. Somebody out there's got an Uncle Tad. Use hashtag whatever it was we were saying earlier.

Candace. Popping dogs for Candace. Popping dogs for Candace if you got an Uncle Tad. I've been in London during Wimbledon. It's fucking tight, man. That would be fun to go. I want to go so bad. Those are two on my like, however I can finagle whatever happens in the entertainment industry.

I want to be like. Did you drop a second N in finagle? Finangle. Finangle. Did you say finangle? Finangle. Finangle. Is that how you say it?

Finagle. Oh. Yeah. I fulfilled the Sean Jordan role. Well, not really. I mean, that's not quite a caution in the wind situation. Right, right. Oh, we were watching a movie where they say it and he goes see you don't hear it

you don't hear it she said caution the wind I'm like you don't understand the problem you're hearing it weird a finagle is the angle that a dolphin's fin is at exactly it's a finagle finagle

anyway I didn't mean to interrupt you you'll finagle. Finagle. Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt you. You'll finagle your way out. Jerry Lewis saying, oh, no. Roland Garros. Oh, shit. Is it Roland Garros or is it Roland Garros? Garros of the Roland. Kelly Roland, Roland Garros.

But yeah, and I just like both of those tournaments are kind of elegant because they're European and old. And like they'll pan to the crowd and it's like some you're just like wealthy europeans you're like i don't even know who this guy is yeah but they have crazy mustache they made their money by like inventing wood and shit like that yeah and when i'm at work i'll listen at work i'll listen to like when i can't watch it i'll just listen to the radio and i'll listen to it in french or like uh you know with with uh wimbledon it's english but like british commentators or like, uh, you know, with, with, uh, Wimbledon, it's English, but like British commentators or like South Africans. And you're like, man,

this is just like, it makes the day go by faster. And it's, I don't know. It's, it's something that I almost completely celebrate alone. I tried to throw a Wimbledon party last year and I ended up eating like $70 of like bangers and mash and strawberries and cream because no one showed up.

Wait, wait. Did you invite people or were you just like... You know what it was. I'm inviting people on a Saturday night and being like, yeah, so just come over 5 o'clock a.m. I was out of town. The night before people were like, yeah, of course.

And then like... The only people that would show up is people who were like still partying. Yes, exactly. Yeah, you don't want them on Molly still. Give me some of those bangers. You're going to be touching each other like David wanted. Come on, man. That's not what I wanted.

What did you want then? I want appropriate child touching. All right, guys. Whose pick is next? It's Demi's. Demi's is going to be your second pick. Is that all? Is it my turn? Yep. All right, guys. Whose pick is next? It's Demi's. Demi's, how about your second pick? Is that all? Is it my turn?

Yep. All right. I'm so glad. I'm so glad that I got this one, because I'm going to go with Michael Jackson, Back to Back, Thriller, and Bad. Damn. Man. 1982, he drops Thriller.

1987, he drops Bad. The world was never the same. No. No. It really wasn't. No. I mean, what's a bad song? George H.W. Bush was, he drops Bad. The world was never the same. No, it really wasn't. I mean, George H.W. Bush was elected the next year. Because we were all distracted.

We were listening to him. He couldn't walk past us. The moonwalk really knocked us off our pivot as a country. Never again. You hear that, Stinky Lake? We got these TSA posters not on my watch. It's just like a moonwalk with a no sign over it.

No, Thriller, there's not a bad song on Thriller. There is not. I was literally just on the Wikipedia page like, there's got to be something bad I can say about either of these albums. No. There's nothing bad. Unimpeachable. Even the songs people don't talk about on Thriller.

Human Nature. Oh, my gosh. And they say, why? Why? I love that song. I forgot about how much I love that song. It's also, it's like a tight eight songs. Is that eight?

Yeah. Or sorry, nine songs. Or nine, right? Yeah. Yeah. The only one on here that's like, oh, what could you say? But it's like the lady in my life. I couldn't even tell you what that song sounds like, honestly.

Right. Me neither, but so what? So what? It's fucking so many it's great one of these starting something uh baby be mine the girl is mine the dark god girl is mine thriller beat it billy jean man human nature pyt he could have released this one album and retired and still just as famous a bad album around each one around each one of those songs. It would have been amazing. Thriller side two? Beat it, Billie Jean, Human Nature, PYT,

and then The Lady of My Life put in a row like that? What the fuck, man? It's crazy. Fuck you, Michael Jackson. It's crazy. Truly insane. Quincy Jones sprinkling it all over that thing, too?

Quincy Jones, man. Damn. But also bad. Come on. Yes. Bad. The way you make me feel. Speed Demon.

Liberian Girl. Just Good Friends. Another part of me. Man in the Mirror. I Just Can't Stop Loving You. Dirty Diana. Smooth Criminal. Favorite Michael Jackson song.

Dirty Diana? Yeah. Really? It's a good pick. Yeah, it's my favorite. I have a soft spot for Smooth Criminal because I only knew the Alien Ant Farm version once upon a time. And then I heard this one and something inside me just went, like I was like Farm version once upon a time.

And then I heard this one and something inside me just went, like I was like, I've made a mistake. I had not known the right one. You only, see, I grew up, I had Moonwalker, I had the tape. So I used to watch that smooth criminal part in the bar over and over.

Incredible video. And by the way, didn't know the words to that song for years. Yeah, I didn't know any of the words. Yeah. I would just sing like the tone. Yeah. I didn't know what that song was about for years.

Just the mood. I didn't either. And I only knew the Alien Ant Farm version. So I'm just fucking like, oh, it's such a good rock song where they're like. At the end. I'm like, that's cool. That such a good rock song where they're like at the end i'm like that's cool that's a cool rock and i see the video and i see michael jackson doing that fucking like lean i'm just like trying to do the lean everywhere i hurt myself so many times trying to do that lean

that white suit oh and the hat and the way he like pushes the hat forward from the back oh man that that dude was cool epitome of cool the way you make me feel is I don't know what my favorite Michael Jackson song is but that one it's hard

oh that's right I didn't even mean to bring that up oh no I yeah I couldn't pick a favorite Billy Jean might be mine

really or beat it just because that guitar solo is he was the Oh, no. Yeah, I couldn't pick a favorite. Billy Jean might be mine. Really? Or Beat It, just because that guitar solo is... He was, at the same time, the best rock, pop, and R&B singer. Yes. You know? It's insane. Probably because he was black, didn't get any credit for being an amazing rock and roll singer, but he fucking was, man.

Oh, he didn't get any credit. Smooth Criminal is kind of a rock song. Beat It is one of the greatest rock and roll songs of all time. If he wasn't singing on it, we'd all say that's a rock song. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Also, by the way, made the music video. The reason the music video is what it is.

Absolutely. Took it to, because they wouldn't play him. Yeah. That's what we were watching on CNN in the 80s took it to, because they wouldn't play him. Yeah. That's what we were watching on the CNN in the 80s, right? Yeah, they wouldn't play him. So he was like, all right, well, I'm going to make fucking Thriller for a million dollars. I'm going to get Jonathan Landis to direct this music video. You're not going to play it?

You're not going to play it? This incredible piece of art I just made? How many people have music videos that are arguably as famous as the song itself and arguably like have one of the most iconic like outfits in it like just in the video you really did hit it three times on that same yeah also bad have you seen the bad video yeah movie with wesley snipes you ain't bad you ain't nothing oh snipes dude speaking of wesley snip, David, it's time for your second and third picks. Oh, that was the sweetest thing anybody's ever said.

Hey, pay your taxes. You know, let me just read my pick. Okay, my second pick. Once again, because I'm going three, Pete. Howell and Elvira Wayans, because they knocked out Keenan, Damon, and Kim. Three run. Okay. No, I got to give it to you.

That's wild. What are the odds? Howell and Elvira? Howell and Elvira Wayans. When you started saying that, I was like, I don't know where the fuck we're going. I thought they were like

two horror movies. You were like Howell and Elvira. Elvira. Elvira 2. He just keeps talking. You were like Howl and Elvira. Or no, who's Howl by? Elvira. Elvira 2. He just keeps talking. We're like, okay.

I mean, not said about it, but like, yeah, they were. They're responsible for the Williams. I also, by the way, think Kim is as funny as Kenan and Damon. Kim was my favorite on In Living Color. So they went Kenan, Kim, and then Damon? No, Kenan, Damon, then Kim. Keenan, Damon, then Kim? And then there's like four before Sean and Marlon. Wow, really?

There's a bunch more. And then Sean and Marlon. Sean and Marlon are the last two. Oh, Marlon's like the youngest? Yeah, I think so. I was on there. That's where the guy, we should stop. Sean wins, Marlon wins.

Damn, dude. That tracks. But like, yeah, they, I mean, come on. You have those three kids boom boom boom yeah and you didn't know i will say i confuse damon wayans and damon wayans jr all the time so i'm just like terrified to say like yeah they got this and i'll be no that's damon wayans jr i would probably if damon wayans was on was on happy together love damon wayans on new girl oh wait he actually was on new girl because he played

in wayans junior stats oh did he oh perfect damon wayans in that movie someone mary berry wait did damon wayans was in bulletproof right yeah that was adam yo i fucking loved bulletproof yes yes what an interesting pick yeah i love sultan pride so i get it and i loved the great white man yeah fucking wow but yeah so they had those three back to back i think that's incredible uh and then my next pick as it is back to back to back jamie foxx because and this is the run, Collateral, Ray, pivot on a dime, the album Unpredictable. Whoa. He can do anything.

That really is a can do anything. He can do anything. Can you imagine? Collateral was huge. The only thing bigger was Ray. And then he was like, let me take it to the club. Blame it on the alcohol? You didn't listen to that song in college?

Unpredictable. The whole, Jamie Foxx is incredible. The Jamie Foxx that made Unpredictable is the opposite of the Jamie Foxx in Collateral 2. It's so crazy that he could beat both people. He's everybody. He's like, I heard a story about him too. A writer was telling me when he did snl he was trashed the whole week really like just trash they said he just wasn't he just everything he did was

just like not very good yeah and then when he went on he just turned it on and it was incredible so he's like he's that kind of don't worry about him in practice oh yeah yeah what are you talking about he's just he's just incredibly talented i I did a radio show with Jamie Foxx once. It was Ezra Koenig's Time Crisis show on Apple or Beats 1 or whatever. And I didn't know he was going to show up until I got there. And then when he did show up, he was on the phone the entire time outside. And we were just like, oh, I guess he's just going to pop in, do whatever, and leave. He was the nicest, most cordial, had the best stories.

Dude. He talked about being on Amazing Spider-Man 2 and just being like, Andrew Garfield was taking it way too seriously and just talking about his process and he was like, look man, I'm painted blue, it's just a movie, we're just gonna have fun and get out of here. I told him I was from Texas, he asked me so many questions about growing up in Texas.

He's from Texas, right? Yeah. He asked me about doing debate and just talk to me like a person. I've never felt so like... No, Jamie Foxx is about as good as we could do as people. We shot one thing with Jamie Foxx on the Late Late Show and he sent doing debate and like just like talk to me like a person i've never felt so like no jimmy fox is about as good as we could do as people we shot one thing with jimmy fox on the late late show and he sent like he has a sunglasses company that's either his or he's invested in and he sent a big box of sunglasses over for the staff it was amazing you don't have to do that he's in like he is like that we should put him in space and shoot him tomorrow. So people know we did that.

Yeah. He's the gold record. Yeah. That we sent into space. Aliens open the thing, it's just a photo of Jamie Foxx. And it's just like, and that's already, he had already been a standup comedian. He's so funny. I watched the YouTube, him talking about Terrence Howard being in character for Ray.

And like, they went to the club and Terrence Howard was wearing like, like dressed like, like it was the old times. And he he was like I don't know why these girls like talking to me in my lane Terrence Howard impression he's just so good at everything but that run too was just like Jimmy Foxx is like that was his icon run well he can be

leading man and he can do the supporting stuff like him and Ali is great where he's the trainer great he is amazing brown yeah he goes he like shaves his he's got like a bald spot right great he's been like directing a movie too for the past like two years that's supposed to come out has he really it's called all-star weekend oh shit oh oh we gotta go i think it's about two friends who try to get to All-Star Weekend. Oh, I love it.

I want to see it so bad. He's, man, that guy is like, but I feel like that run specifically for me was like, that was him like, because he was always shooting off. That was like, he kicked it. Because I feel like for years he was kind of like, maybe niche. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think, like, it was like, In Living Color is great, but i don't know if everybody watched that but like his movies hadn't really i think booty call is a classic but i don't know if everybody feels that way yeah if you go back no booty calls hilarious though if you go back to watching no but i know i'm saying it didn't hit for everybody

yeah the jd con show didn't hit for everybody so it's like you always knew he was this guy and it was just like collateral with tom Hanks. Fucking Ray. And he can sing. I always forget how good of a musician he is. Like when that Chance song came out where he sampled the fuck you, I went back and watched that clip. And he's playing the piano for the entire thing. I was just like, wait, are you like classically trained? He's so good.

Yeah. He can play piano too. He won an Oscar for Ray and then did Unpredictable. Like just the fuck. That is a good back to back. Yeah. You can play piano too. He won an Oscar for Ray and then did unpredictable. Like, yeah, just the fuck. That is a good back to back. Yeah.

It's like, he's the guy's just, and he can do standup. The guy's so talented, but that, those three were really like, whoa. Oh yeah.

What an icon move. I rewatched collateral recently and it's like so much of that movie hinges on him and not really Tom Cruise. Like Tom Cruise gets to be like a cool hit man. Who's like, hold, it's all Jamie Foxx and how he he's related like how he's like managing to like okay what am i gonna try to do now and it's like it's a movie where everyone involved is smart and doing like the right thing which is why it's so fascinating yes yeah yeah fucking jamie foxx i heard you can juggle you know i heard he could i heard he could make a delicious peanut butter

sandwich no way yeah like like you're like. I heard he can make a delicious peanut butter sandwich. No way. Yeah. You're like, how come this is better than every other peanut butter sandwich? And he's like, cinnamon. Yeah, I was just thinking that. He is a cinnamon sandwich motherfucker. For sure.

Cinnamon sandwich from way back. Demi, time for your third pick. My third pick is a little unconventional, but I'm taking- A little unpredictable? A little unpredictable. third pick is a little unconventional, but I'm taking A little unpredictable? A little unpredictable. It is an event that happened where Sandra Bullock got a

Razzie for the movie All About Steve, showed up to accept it, and the very next day got the Oscar for The Blind Side. Wow! She showed up! She showed up to accept an award for being in the worst movie, and the next day woke up and got a fucking Oscar. What a queen! up to accept an award for making for being in the worst movie and the next year the next day

woke up and got a fucking oscar what a queen imagine how powerful she must have felt that is great no one goes to the razzies well like not really but it's like it's a thing that no one shows up to right yeah for sure because it's just to insult you but like she showed up she had dvds of all about steve for everyone in the audience She just like fucking took it in stride. She's fucking awesome, man. She's so cool. I love Sandra Bullock. I love her too.

Also, maybe one of my all-time celebrity crushes. Oh, yeah. That's quality. That's a quality crush. Maybe number one. That's a quality crush. She's one of those people where if you go back and watch her older movies, if you haven't seen them, it's like her performance holds up.

Oh, yeah. Speed? Oh. She's amazing. She's incredible in speed. God, man. I love her in Demolition Man. I love the net. Oh, the net. The first scene. She's incredible in Speed. I love her in Demolition. I love The Net.

The first scene where she's ordering her pizza in The Net is incredible. I love it. God, what's the damn While You Were Sleeping? Shit, I forgot about While You Were Sleeping. That's rom-com gold. She's great and I watched Ocean's 8

on a flight recently. She's so good in Ocean's 8. She's so captivating and charismatic. I think she's the best part of that movie. Yeah. Well, James Corden is the best part of that movie. I'm glad you said that before I said Anne Hathaway. Yes. James Corden.

Anne Hathaway. Who I love. I love her. Anne Cinderbuck. Yeah. I love Sandy B. What was her George Clooney in Space? Oh, Gravity?

Gravity. Outstanding Gravity. She's great in The Blind Side, the one that you won the Oscar for. I'm trying to think of, what's a performance where I'm like, I mean, I didn't see all about Steve, but I guess that. She was probably charming in it.

Yeah, I'm sure. You know? I didn't watch the Miss Congeniality, but I heard they're great. Oh, she's great in Miss Congeniality. Oh, she's awesome. Those are good. They're great in Miss Congeniality.

They're fun in the camp, or not even camp, they're fun though. Right, yeah. Also, she's one of those people where I hear everything. Like, I think Chelsea Handler hung out with her a bunch. And everything you hear secondhand is she's fucking awesome and fun. She's so cool.

And just like a great person. I would kill to be on the set of Ocean's 8. Because everyone on that movie, I'm just like, you're cool. You're fucking cool. Everyone's so cool. Every single person. They probably all went out one night. I would.

Oh, my God. Who do you bring the drink to first? It'd be a place where you like, if you have a panic attack. I would bring the drink to Rihanna first. Rihanna gets that drink first. You, what? If you had like a panic, like if you walked in a room and you're like, there's an anathway, you have a panic attack, and then you go into a different room and you're like, oh shit,

there's a centripleg. You just just. Keep playing shit? Don't have to keep playing shit? Fuck! I run out. She's talking to me. Oh god.

It's like, who do you, who is like your panacea where you're just like, oh, okay, it's just this person. Right. Awkwafina, this person. Awkwafina, I guess. Awkwafina, I guess. It's the key grip. Thank God. The key grip was Matt Damon. Oh, no. Well, that's fine.

Oh, man. Yeah, that's a great. I would probably just nestle my head in James Corden's comforting bosom. Oh, yeah. We're having a panic attack there. That's fair. Yeah. That's fair.

His Gucci-clad bosom. He smells good. He's wearing a Gucci sweater. What's his a panic attack there. That's fair. Yeah. That's fair. His Gucci-clad bosom. He smells good. He's wearing a Gucci sweater. What's his smell like? Fantastic. England. He smells like England. You'll know when you smell it.

He's a candleman as well. Oh, he is, which I respect. He's a big-time candleman. And I've actually, I've gotten a little game from him, which I now employ myself, from Aesop, just their deodorant spray. It's called deodorant, which I know doesn't sound like much. It smells amazing.

You have a great sense palette. Thank you. You do have a great sense. Everything that you have, when you come out, you're like, here, just smell this. I'll spray it in the air,

and I'm always like, man, that smells fucking amazing. I'm so into smells. I'm so into them. It's a 3D experience. Oh, yeah. Ian Carmel's a 3D experience. Oh, yeah. Ian Carmel's a 3D experience. What a fucking move from Sandra Bee.

Yeah. Tuscany, any time for your third pick? Third pick? I'm going to go with when you bought something new on the weekend and then you went to school the next day. Oh, man. Yes. The new shoes, the new jacket.

The day before the first day of school man oh man just like in the mirror like i am gonna be killing them in fourth grade tweeting all playing basketball i've had that at work too like i buy a jacket in the very next day i walk in just in that jacket just like i hate that got to wear a backpack on my back because I want people to be like, damn, that jacket. Demi fucking dresses dope, dude. And I do that because I'm buying that shit the weekend before. I'm going to show up in this corduroy jacket. That red corduroy jacket? Damn.

That was a cool jacket. I look like the Ikea monkey, but I don't care. You don't look like the Ikea monkey. No, you look cool as hell. Like the Ikea monkey was dating rihanna that was the first time we met in person yeah and i was like the first two minutes i was like i'm sorry i was just listening i was just i was listening to your jacket then yeah no that is a great back-to-back that is a good feeling man wait is that the back-to-back you thought of last night when you were saying oh i just thought of something

no i it's not on mine and i doubt anyone will it, but I'll just wait till the end and maybe drop that. But yeah, just like, and you know, like, okay, I can count on these people will always like my friends and stuff. But it was like the people that you couldn't count on that were like, whoa, dude. And you're like, oh, I didn't even know you were into this shit. Yeah. I wasn't expecting you to like it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not the best. And it's a the best it's a boost because it's like because you picked it you can you know where it's like people are always like well there's just shoes someone else made those in your but it's like well you like what i have chosen for myself yeah so i can convert that into like confidence for myself and that confidence runs so long because it's like you just bought this thing so you're just like i'm gonna wear this forever yes yeah exactly yeah oh man like a new good jacket or something yeah i mean i i subscribe to like having show shoes like having show shoes that you just pull out for like you know if you

were doing if you were had a big set for you know maybe they're filming it for something maybe you i gotta see you get something nice for yourself to show off yeah oh yeah oh yeah maybe you get something nice for yourself to show off. Yeah. I just got a pair of show shoes. Oh, yeah. Maybe you get... You did get a pair of show shoes. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. I hope they light up. I hope the audience... Maybe it's the only thing that can take them over the top. Michael, I'm trying to show up on a sneaker blog, because you won't believe...

You know what I mean? Yeah. That's all I want. No, that might happen. I want to get a sneaker blog from a late night set. Man. Damn. I can't wait for the moment where you're like, you know, I got those Back to the Future ones.

And I'm like, oh. Oh, man. The Marty McFly's? Yeah. I don't know if I can pull. I got thick calves, man. I don't think I can pull those off. I think you could wear them, actually.

You might look good in them. You would look cool. They kind of fit your aesthetic. Man. Thank you so much. Yeah. I got to go rob. Robin Lopez, I think, has a pair.

Yeah. How much are they? Like. $16,000. If any listeners have $16,000 just laying around. Poppin' dogs for Candace. Use hashtag poppin' dogs. Yeah, we'll get them for Candace. Number four.

Imagine the security guard at the Ralphs is wearing those mag shoes. Auto lacing. You're going to get a security guard killed alright I'm gonna go I'm gonna go the back to back of ooh ooh I'm going shot beer

ooh classic combo shot to beer fucking get me out of this mood in a hurry yeah that's how you start the night ass it's the sean jordan memorial pick yeah all right sean the beer sean jordan fully sober right now he's resting in portland he's resting uh taking a bi-week and uh yeah i just love i

just love pulling up to the bar shot in a beer yeah it's very it's very it's also like it's very like it took me a long time to settle down and just like realize that that's what I want. Like there were years where I was like, give me a gin and tonic or like trying to reach to other shit that wasn't really my deal. And then like, you know. Virgin pina colada. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm that dude every now and then too, but there's a certain something to like just a shot of whiskey, and just that burning and kind of sucking, but in a good way. Yeah, and then that cold beer.

And then following it with that cold beer that makes you appreciate how beer tastes a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get choked up? It's just like, because beer is usually, I don't know. I'm sleepy. I had like a hiccup. I repressed a hiccup, and then it made me yawn. Whatever that energy was, it don't know. Beer. I can't remember. I'm sleepy. I had like a hiccup. I repressed a hiccup and then it made me yawn. Whatever that energy was, it was getting out some way.

But yeah, it's just like delicious. It makes you appreciate both things a little bit more. And then after, you know, you're nicely toasted. Yeah. And now you're in the zone. So I'm going shot to beer. Shot to beer. And then for my fourth pick, I'm going to take a writing one.

I'm going to take Quentin Tarantino writing true romance and then writing pulp fiction. Oh, man. Back to back. That's like. Yeah, that's fucking. That's nuts. Can you believe that he did that? No, it's fucking crazy.

Can you believe he did that? They're just such fun places to be how do you in those movies for like an hour or two you know yeah like pope fiction i always want how did this even how did this happen right no like it's wild characters it's wild who speak in such weird like watching them have these mundane conversations that are still so entertaining yeah that's the thing I've never understood. It's just like, they're not talking about a goddamn thing. Why am I so enthralled?

Yeah. It's nuts. It's the kind of shit. They're so LA too. Yeah. They are. They're so LA. Yeah.

It's nuts. And that's the shit they make you take. Those kind of conversations are like when you're getting edited by someone are the kind of things they make you take out. Right. You know? Right. Because they're like, well, this dialogue doesn't move the movie forward blah blah blah blah blah and it's like so what

like it's it's fun it's fun to watch these characters have these conversations let it rest yeah and i know you have to crawl before you can you know walk or run or whatever but like still it's just like i don't know that shit's fun to write those are fun little vignettes to be right right that's the way he writes are these little, this scene. Yeah. And then this scene. Yeah, 100%. He writes such amazing scenes and then mashes them together.

And in Pulp Fiction, like on a nonlinear timeline and all that shit. Yeah. It's just like. But they're all vignettes. You're right. Yeah. Every scene is you're so in it. There's just such fucking amazing scenes, man.

He wrote the fucking Christopher Walken watch scene. You know? I carry this watch in my ass. fucking amazing scenes man he wrote the fucking christopher walker watch scene you know i carry this watch yes and then the dennis hopper and the you know like from true roman like oh yeah just all these fucking amazing scenes man it's crazy you're right it's just like god what a talent man just a talented dude uh yeah so those are my that's my fourth pick zach time for you a fourth pick all right fourth, man, so much left on the board. I'm going to go eating a huge meal and then taking a nap. Oh.

Bad, bad, bad. Taking a nap. Yes. Okay. Yeah, man. I have aged out of that one, but I remember it well. You can't sleep after you eat a meal? I do, but I hate it.

I feel guilty for it, but I hate it. Now if I eat it, I feel terrible. I wake up with heartburn, and I feel full. What about on a Sunday? What about not a huge meal? Don't get me wrong. I do it all the time. It just makes me feel bad anymore. The worst is when you do it, it's like lunchtime, you fall asleep at like 1, you wake up like

5 p.m. You're just kind of like, what do I fucking, what do I do now? Right, exactly. It can throw your whole time off. But when I'm thinking about it, it's like the day after Thanksgiving, you have nothing to do that whole day, and you just wake up at 11, you go get leftovers, you eat a huge plate, and then you just fall asleep. Yeah.

And then you just kind of do that the whole day. Maybe if I did it less, I'd appreciate it more. Yeah, probably. This is more of a me issue. This is not a your pick issue. You know, I think about that a lot was during bowl season, like in high school. Oh, yeah.

Like you're off of school and maybe you have some Christmas-type leftovers around. You got an Al Groton ham situation. Yeah, and then I'd just make a big-ass plate and then watch some Capcom bowl or some bowl that I'd... Just watch fucking like a... Capital One Bowl. Ball State.

Yeah. Ball State. Versus Akron. Yeah, something where you have no investment. No, no, no. Something you have no investment in at all. Watching a bunch of dentists run into each other. Just watching football to watch football.

The Just for Fun Bowl. Yeah. Just watching football to watch football. You go outside to smoke a joint because you're like, I'm going to smoke this before I go for that nap. Oh, yeah. Really set it off right. I love going to sleep high. Oh, man, I love it. Oh, yeah.

Some would say too much. Well, because it feels like sometimes I'll lay down and it feels like, oh, it feels like I'm sinking into this bed. Yeah. That's comforting to me. Yeah. No, it's like I'm sinking into this bed. Yeah. That's comforting to me. Yeah. No, it's like I used to like getting the spins, which is weird, but it's also comforting. Whoa.

Really? Really. I like the feeling of – I go right to sleep. It doesn't really happen to me much anymore. But when I was younger, yeah, I liked the – Man. I didn't like being up and walking around. Right.

But if I got the spins, as soon as I hit the bed and you're just like, it just, I felt like it was like swirling me deep, like a drill bit, like swirling me deeper into the bed. Whoa. This is all very. No, I love that. I feel like it. No, I love it.

I had to fight. I had to like learn how to fight the spins because I couldn't. Oh, you got to give yourself to the motion, baby. Man, I was fighting it so hard. I was like trying to remember vice presidents. Whoa. Backwards. Because I was like, if I just keep my mind focused.

I couldn't do that right now. Yeah, I got to like the 80s and I was like. Pence, Biden. What's that fucking? Cheney. Cheney. Cheney. Gore.

Gore. Quayle. Quayle. George Bush. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I. Quail. George Bush. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't know about Carter. This is like knowing the numbers of pie.

I'm just like, how far can you go? Was it Gerald Ford under Carter? No. No. Who was Carter? No, that was before. I don't know, guys. See, I'm asleep now.

That's where I got to. That's a good tactic. That's why I can't do edibles, because I'll always get crazy and have the spins, and then I'll just be like, even lying down, I'm just like, I can't. I'm supposed to be, this is the process. I'm in my bed, but I'm not really in my bed. I just get crazy. Right.

Edibles do give you that 20 minutes where you're too high. Oh, yeah. For me, it's an hour or two. It's like no matter how little the dose. Yeah. I was breaking it. I think I have a slow metabolism. I was talking about it with Emma, and that's why she thinks like it.

Because an edible will fuck me up for all day. Yeah. Where I'll be too high all day. Yeah, it's hard. Because I'll stay in that zone where I'm like, I'm panicking. My heart's beating too fast. I can do gummies, but I can't do a brownie, man. You can't even do a gummy.

I got one of those little things where it's almost like a fruitie man I can't even do a gummy I got one of those little like things where it's like just like a almost like a fruit roll up sheet and I'd cut it into like ninths and then took half of a ninth

and I was even just like I went to see the Avengers and I had to leave because I was just like mad that happened to me it was some horror a cabin not cabin fever

it was some movie it was whatever horror movie where they're shaving their legs and the skin comes off cabin fever don't be high for I didn't know I didn't know

I had to leave I don't't know. I went and watched that whatever Gerard Butler movie where he's at the White House. White House Down? White House Down. David, take a video, pop it up on the Patreon. This has fallen? Oh, yeah. It was one of those ones. Just because I don't have it

on my phone. Anyway, yes. What were we talking about meal huge nap the problem is when I do that and it's like the middle of yesterday we went to the Grove for lunch and just had like a very nice lunch at Cheesecake Factory I came back and I was just like fighting fighting to stay awake

dude the Cheesecake Factory will put you on your ass I got a tiny pasta and I was just I was sitting there at a certain point just listening tiny pasta and I was just, I was sitting there at a certain point just listening to everyone and I just like, I'm gonna turn my sweater around and put it on my head

so people don't know if I've gone to sleep or not. But it's like, yeah, but like going out with friends and like having like a heavy lunch and then you go back to your place

and you're like, oh perfect, I can get a two hour nap in before we go out today and then I'll be like completely charged up. See, if I did that

after having eaten a big meal i would still have that meal completely i would still feel it like i just ate it right i said what i'm gonna do is not do that until thanksgiving and then do it on thanksgiving see how it feels back yeah uh danny time for your fourth pick i i feel like i've been playing the game like to win so far and I just gotta step out of that, and I gotta do me. So this is a pick that is, no one else in the room would take this. Radiohead doing OK Computer and Kid A back to back.

I would not pick that. I know you would. Listen. Oh, we would? Listen. You're in a pro Radiohead room right now. Shane tried to say they were overrated, and I almost lost my fucking mind.

Just listen to the overrated episode and hearing Shane or Shane. I might as well call him Sean Torres. Shane Torres. Now that's a whole other. Just being like Radiohead is overrated and you just being like, yeah, I'm about to go to the bathroom. I was like, fuck both of y'all.

I had you. I had you. Radiohead's not overrated. They're fucking amazing. It just doesn't. I get that. It doesn't ring my bell. And I'm fighting the urge to be like, no, let me get you into them because I love them

so much. I understand. I just, I, they are my favorite band and it no, let me get you into them. Because I love them so much. I understand. I just, they are my favorite band. And it's like cliche how I got into them. In college, I had friends that were just like, I bonded with them over the strokes. And then they were like, my favorite band is Radiohead. And I was like, oh, I guess I'll try them out. I listened to each album.

I spent two days on each album. Whoa. And got to a point where I was like, I just had a full week where I was listening to, or a full two weeks where I just listened to Radiohead. And I was crying in a laundry room just being like like this is the most beautiful music I've ever heard and when I got to Kid A and I got mad because I was just like this is the one people love the most this doesn't make any sense it's not even that good it's just these weird bleep bloop sounds and I was mad because I was just listening to a rock band and then it was like

bleep bloop and shit but it was like OK Computer is one of the greatest rock albums of all time Kid A is one of the greatest rock albums of all time. Kid A is one of the greatest electronic albums of all time. For them to make that shift, just fucking outstanding. Yeah. I want to be into it. I know.

I want you to be into it too. How hard have you tried? I want to reach over and touch you on the shoulder, but I'm also like, you got things about touching. Sometimes, some music just like,

I don't know how to explain it, but some stuff I hear and I just, I don't hear anything yeah like that's how i am with you too i mean like i understand i just when i listen to you too and i because my parents like you too so i've listened to you too a lot i just something so there's some disconnect there where i just don't i totally i don't know man yeah it's fine it's fine yeah i never like get mad at people who don't like it. Cause I'm like, I understand. Like it,

it could be like a, it's a specific taste. I'm like, it is man. It is sour cream. Right. It makes sense to me, but cilantro,

you know? Yeah. Yeah. I think it is. And I'm terrified of being the person who's just like, Oh, you got it. Let me play.

Like, I would never convince anyone to like a band that I like at all. I know. It's just know it's just it's the worst feeling in the world but then it is but the thing about it is it's the kind of thing where it's like i like it so much i want you to like right right i want you to enjoy it too also somebody did that to you you know what i mean so you know that it works you know that it works like i think with music discovery it's the kind of thing where it's like you can make the suggestion

but they have to sort of discover it on their own like if i had not gone and just been like oh oh, I'll listen to them and listen to it on my own, then I would not have liked them. If you had just listened to it in the car with your friend. If I was sitting here just like, no, you got to hear this one and just made you listen to the whole thing while staring at you, you'd be like, this sucks. Yeah, I wouldn't like that shit. Sorry, go ahead. I first heard about them because of the Vanilla Sky soundtrack. I was like, what is this Yeah. Everything in its right place. Everything in its right place.

And that's how I went backwards. And I was like, holy shit. And it's like you were just saying where it's like it was a reference where it was like, hey, if you like this, maybe check it out. But it wasn't an outright like you have to listen to Radiohead. But man, yeah, they've just – and the quality and quantity of output that they've had since the 90s. It's crazy that like, so I've been a Radiohead fan for, I guess, the last three albums they've released now. And when they released In Rainbows, I was like, oh, wow, this is great. And I kept listening to them.

I was like, no, wait, this is the best thing they've ever done. It's still my favorite album of all time. They released The King of Limbs. I was like, oh, man, they've maybe fallen off of it. I saw it live. I was like, nope, they, they've maybe fallen off of it. I saw it live. I was like, nope, they're fucking incredible. I don't know how they do this. And then they released A Moon-Shaped Pool.

And I remember I was dog sitting for my friend, for Mio, a friend of the show, and was listening to it. No, she's the greatest. No, she's the greatest. Listen to Punch Up the Jam. Damn, Mio. I was walking her dog, and I just decided, I was like, I'm going to listen to it for the first time now. And when that fucking album opens with Burn the Witch, I stopped in the street and was

just standing there for the entire duration of the song. I remember walking in a loop in the same block over downtown, just being like, this is the best moment. I cannot believe that they did it again. I don't know how they do it. They keep doing it. And the fucking scores they write for... Oh, Johnny Greenwood johnny greenwood score oh my god phantom thread i was i was i tweeted about this yesterday i was i took a walk i put on house of woodcock and i cried man it's

just such a good walking song tom york's score for suspiria i could i could talk for hours about how much these boys mean to me but like like, it's fucking... The There Will Be Blood soundtrack? It's very specific times I need that, but when you're like, I just want to walk in there like I fucking own this place, you just put on that like... You don't think you're an oil man. Yeah. I have a competition in me.

This is my son, H. David. Exit music for a film, man. I'm looking at these tracks. The way I loved Radiohead in college was corny as fuck i wrote a screenplay where it's about some kids that take a road trip to go see their favorite band and the favorite band was named i don't want to say the name it was named come on the band was named talk show host which was named after the radiohead song talk show and i thought it's gonna be a subtle ref no one will get it and the the moment I said it, my teacher was like, oh, like Radiohead, that band you like.

And I was like, oh. Shit. You're just wearing a giant Radiohead t-shirt. I was like, how did they know? They're pulled over by the Karma police. And they have to make an exit. They were trying to kneel during the national anthem.

They crash and their airbag goes off. I went to see Radiohead. I don't know Radiohead songs, so this just sounds like a cool movie. So David's my target audience. I went to see Radiohead after the Kaepernick stuff happened, and I was like, oh, it'd be so funny to get a video of me kneeling to the national anthem. But that song goes so hard, I was like, I don't know. Yeah, exactly.

Next time, next time, next time, next time. I've also seen them like fucking four times. They're one of those bands that like, if I'm going, I'll buy two tickets and be like, okay, I'm bringing an important person. A convert. I do that with LCD now. I'm like, I'll just cop tickets.

Oh, dude. I thought Zach Tuscanac, Cal's after him, came with me. And that was, I was, yeah, I was such a huge LCD Sound System fan. So it was like crazy to be like, I'm going to fucking see them because I thought for a long time,

I'm never going to be able to see them. And we saw them. So close. Hell yeah. So close. How's they go on tour again soon? So yeah, OK Computer Kid A. David, time for your fourth and fifth.

Man, these are weird because I did threes. No, the fourth one isn't weird. Michael, the second three-peat are the Chicago Bulls. Oh, yeah. Which one was the second? Post-baseball retirement pete of the chicago bulls oh yeah which one was the second post baseball retirement yeah yeah yeah because it's just i mean you were gone for a year he's gone for a year he left he like at the height of his game he left and came back and did like could you imagine like a comic being like oh i'm gonna go film this movie and then after the movie comes out they come back and they're like i have a great new hour it doesn't happen it doesn't happen in anything ever that those teams were fucking crazy that's

the team that won 72 and 10 yeah dude it's like it's just it's just you know that was they switched out bill cartwright for fucking dennis rodman yep, dude. It was the Worm, Scotty, Mikey, and his like, not his best, but like, at his fucking cruelest. It was Dark Jordan, dude. That was the thing, is that he had to go dark, that's how he, that's

what he had to get out of himself to do it again. His father died in that time. Yeah, like, it was like he was, like, it's just like, it's like, it's like when you saw Russell, when Russell got MVP, where it was like, this isn't good.

No, this is bad. What you're doing is like, this is unhealthy. Like you're fighting the whole, it's incredible, but this isn't good. It's FU mode.

Yeah. And he had to go, he had to go there to do three again. That's an, it's an, it's insane. Three more. It's insane.

He's insane. And he's It's insane. He's insane. And he's coming off a space jam, too. So I bet everyone who went up against him was just kind of like, now we got this. Yeah. It's like, no, you motherfuckers. Well, he came back. So he came back at the end of, I forget, it was either the 95 or the 90s. I think he came back at the end of the 95, 96 season.

Where are the 4-5? And they got knocked out of the playoffs. Right? They, like, so he didn't win the – but it wasn't a full season. Right, right, right. So it didn't really count, right? Isn't that what happened? Yeah.

That's why he was wearing 45. Right. But – So, like, they thought he was a little out of basketball shape. He was a little bit – and then they came back the next year, and they just fucking – It's a testament to – say what you will about Michael Jordan. I don't really think he's a good guy. No, he's's a bad guy the guy has the guy has an iron will yeah like it's a testament to that it's just yeah it was incredible even as a kid i was a kid you know i mean how old am i

how old was i when that i was like 9 10 11 yeah those years even as a little boy i remember like this is insane well that was like uh me and david were talking about like because he was asking like oh you're from cincinnati were you like a calves fan and i was like no it was it's not really like an nba town and then he was like well who did you watch growing up and i was like i think like everyone i was a bulls fan just because like how could you not be transcendent i wasn't i'll I'll tell you how you're not being. Were you not? You weren't into it? I hated the Bulls.

I was a Portland Trailblazer fan. I mean, I was bummed. I liked Michael Jordan, but like, not really. I admired him. I was in awe. Yeah. But I was a Blazer fan, so I hated him. See?

I was the one kid. So I remember distinctly being at school and everybody having Michael Jordan cards and me being like, you fucking pricks. You grew up in Portland, Oregon. I'm trading them. We have Clyde Drexler. We have fucking Jerome Kersey. We have Terry Porter.

How fucking dare you? You know? Yeah. I loved him and I was a Sonics fan so it was hard. Oh yeah? They're not too hard too.

It's just like greatness like that. You're just like, yeah, I mean, that supersedes like loyalty to my team. Yeah, I just love greatness. But I mean,

either way, that three-peat, it's just one of the most incredible things ever. Yeah, man. And then he went out again. Yeah, and then he, yeah. I think he won three more and I'm out. Yeah, I just love great... But I mean, either way, that three-peat, it's just one of the most incredible things ever. Yeah, man. And then he went out again. Yeah, and then he... I think he won three more

and I'm out. Yeah. And then he came back. It's game back-to-back. Washington wasn't bad. He had some good games. I mean, it wasn't what it was, but like,

he wasn't a bum. For sure it wasn't. He was still putting up 20 points, yeah. Yeah, but it was... You didn't need the victory lap. I mean, it's the... Yeah, back-to-back

like I'm Jordan 96-97. Yeah. It's the one the back-to-back, like I'm Jordan 96, 97. Yeah. It's the one. Back-to-back with the cover of Lethal Weapon. Yeah. What were those shoes, I wonder? Those three years. Oh, I don't even know what shoes.

Would have been in those seasons, right? Were there three rings in there? He was wearing Asics? Was that 98? He was wearing Asics. He got gay and was the three rings, right? Yeah. And that was 99?

I don't remember. 98? He got gay and was the three rings, right? Yeah. And that was 99? I don't remember. He came back wearing the 11s or something, right? The 10s. The 11s was in that. The 11s for sure was in that because I remember him wearing the black and white ones. Damn. I don't know. But either way, the three-piece.

He was a shoe guy. It's fun being a shoe guy. It looks fun. Become a shoe guy. And I can't tell what's. It's fun being a shoe guy. It looks fun. Yeah. Become a shoe guy. It's easy. Yeah. I don't have the, I can't stand in lines.

You don't have to. Oh, you don't have to. You don't have to anymore. We're rich now. I feel like you got to. That's true. Yeah. Well, they're rich now.

Jeffrey, you're standing in line for me. Me and David are broke, but we still don't stand in lines. What, y'all got apps now? Stock apps. Great pick. And your final pick? Okay, I'm vacillating. I'm going to go with, even though you did songs, I'm going to go with songs too.

Yeah, yeah, trade songs. Off of the Blueprint, You Don't Know, Hola Jovito, and Heart of the City. Man. Just those three songs. The production, just like I listened to to like when that album came out those three songs specifically that order over and over and through the beginning of Hola Jovita

oh man and just the production there was a Timbaland beat and like and it's just Jay rapping his ass off it's nothing even crazy like what is it clapping them flamers before I became famous for playing me y'all shall forever remain nameless i will not lose oh my god oh man that shit it

makes me feel those songs are so big yeah and they make me feel so strong blown out like maximalist fucking jay-z dude like just like just saying i will not lose ever and then just like man came into this motherfucker harney grant strong not to be exact from grinding g-pack like his hustle is just like just man those three songs are just they're just peak jay-z to me that shit is it's a it's like a fucking audible adrenaline yeah yeah it's just like even now when i listen to those songs and like just just a back-to-back, because I remember I got Blueprint. I got the Blueprint. I didn't buy it.

This kid in my math class burned it for me. Yeah. Friday, like it was like Friday, he gave it to me. He gave it to me in class on Friday. It was like fourth period. I had it in my backpack, and I went home, and I just listened to that album that whole weekend. And just like, and still I listen to that album probably once every couple of weeks. It's so good.

But yeah, those three songs back to back, man, he's the best rapper ever to me. Ever since Lemonade, I feel like as a people, we've been clowning on Jay-Z. And I went to see the Beyonce-Jay-Z tour together and was like, he's going to take so much time away from Beyonce. But then when he was rapping, I was like, no, every song fucking slaps. Every single one is good. Everyone's screaming along to every song. I'm like, why did I get off this person?

I got a lot of thoughts I don't necessarily want to put on recorded material about that whole thing. I understand. We can talk about it as soon as this podcast is done. Because I just, I i mean i think i mentioned him a lot probably on the podcast the guy's my hero i think he's like the best example of what like what an american is is like what jay like just like love jay-z man to go from nothing to something accrue generational wealth like he brought a basketball team to brooklyn yeah like

he's from the projects yeah that's insane that's what that's some kennedy shit like yeah yeah what that's what you can do in this country right and as an that is what kennedy's dad did as the son of an immigrant i look at that and it's just like it's i'm waiting on him to sway elections now please i think that his kids will be i think his kids will be because he can't do it oh yeah that's true also there can't be a direct line also i say it in a joke that's going to be on something that's coming out i don't care in 15 years he went from selling drugs to hanging out with the president yeah yeah that's what's better than that that's the most american thing

there is i do think he there's apartments like American thing there is. I do think he, there's a part where it's like, he could be president. I don't think he could be president. I think he could be mayor of New York City. Oh, easily. I think that's like a real thing. We saw him when we went to Las Vegas. It was fucked. The concert was just hit after hit after hit after hit.

There was no frills. It was just him. There was no frills. It was just him. Yeah, yeah. There was nobody else on stage. It was such a fun, like, I mean, from the maximalism of that Kanye tour we went to the year before. Right, right, right. Which was fucking amazing.

To the next year of just Jay-Z, just on stage, both equally fucking amazing. Maybe not equally, but also fucking amazing concerts. I heard so many people after that fucking Beyonce-Jay-Z concert who were just like, I just wanted Jay-Z to shut the fuck up the whole time. Fuck you. I felt. Yeah. Fuck you.

I went in with that attitude and I came out feeling upset about myself. Dude, like. I can't handle. But also maybe people haven't been fans of Jay forever. Like, I feel like I've grown up with the guy. Yeah. Right. I think it's a young thing, too.

It's like a lot of people weren't getting like by the time Jay-Z was like super famous and like the level he is right now it was like he was doing Blueprint 3 which is good but it's not the Blueprint

yeah it's not the Blueprint well it's also it's not the Black Album and if you look at his albums he like leveled up like Reasonable Doubt is incredible

for what it is but it's an album for people who sell drugs which is what it is and then like he had Flops and then he like the Blueprint like the way this And then he had flops, and then the blueprint, the wave is, but you're like, whoa, my God.

Yeah. And then the Black Album is like, you're another, this is a, what is going on? And then he keeps going. And then, oh shit, he's the greatest rapper of all time. Yeah, yeah, you didn't even realize it. He got in the pocket, he was in the pocket. Can I tell y'all something crazy about how I got into Jay-Z?

I'm gonna be really excited. That rhymes. You're gonna be excited, but then you're gonna be excited, then you're gonna be like, what? There was a mashup album that I discovered called Jaydeo Head. By this man, Max Tannone, where he mashed up Radiohead

with Jay-Z, and it's so good. I bet. I honestly, I bet that would get you into Radiohead. That actually, I'm gonna write a book he makes a radio head into like these I mean and they are

the production is insane but it's like I listen to that album so much that I just knew every Jay Z lyric and then I would listen to the like fucking the blueprint

and the black album and I was like I know all these songs and I'm just like man these lyrics are good now that I'm not listening to the radio head part and I was just like

oh I love Jay Z now right yeah if anyone hasn't heard that go listen to it that was like the man, these lyrics are good now that I'm not listening to the Radiohead part. And I was just like, oh, I love Jay-Z now. Yeah. If anyone hasn't heard that, go listen to it. That was like the Grey album was like that too. Yeah, the Danger Mouse, white album, black album mashup. Yeah, he taught me so much about so much stuff. But just like, I don't know, man. Oh, David, I want to ask.

Is it I can sell water to a whale or to a well? To a well. Okay. I am a hustler, baby. I sell water to a well. Because I always heard it, and I was like, it makes sense either way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I love it either way.

I just could never really. Excellent pick. Debbie, time for your final pick. I'm sort of going crazy about this one because there are so many things left on the board and I just, but I still want to, I got to be true to me. I'm going George Clooney doing Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? and Ocean's Eleven. Oh yes.

Back to back years. Two of my favorite movies. Yeah, man. I think Ocean's Eleven is easily one of my top three movies. I love crime movies. I love the fucking cast in that movie is incredible. Yes. But Oh Brother, like if you told me that the same guy who was like fucking Ulysses in-

The Odyssey. In The Odyssey. This goofy ass motherfucker turns around the very next year and is the coolest man alive. Coolest man who's ever been on film. He almost plays George Clooney in Ocean's Eleven. He absolutely does. He does, right? Yes.

coolest man who's ever been on film. He almost plays George Clooney in the ocean. He absolutely does. He does, right? Yeah. And it's like two movies that meant so much to me and have like created the thing, like as a writer and as a person, I'm like, these are like little microcosms

of what I want to be and make. I'm just like, that's an incredible, George Clooney's one of my favorite actors, if not my favorite actor. And it's because I'm like, you're a star. You're the person where I'm like, it made me upset to see him do an espresso commercial because i was like right you're bigger than that yeah you know he's got points on the company and he's like make yeah he's a tequila billionaire right yeah married to a hot lawyer i just he's such a movie star too

yes when he's on like like old school yeah he has that thing where it's just it's like carrie grant or some shit you can't take your eyes off of him absolutely he's mad when he's on, like, he has that thing where it's just... It's like Cary Grant or some shit. Yeah, you can't take your eyes off of him. Absolutely, he's magnetic. When he's on the screen. And those two movies are... Man. Those two movies are, like, so, like, beautiful. Like, Oh Brother Where I Thought It Was Such a Beautiful Looking Movie.

So gorgeous. I'm the goddamn pattern for Milius. Damn. So, like, insanely quotable, insanelywatchable just beautiful i i love and you feel smart watching it yes where you're like oh that was like reading a book did you know that the music the soundtrack for oh brother outsold the movie wow it was that popular yeah that's crazy i mean fucking you had to do a cohen and then like one and then a soderbergh back to back fit equally well in each of them absolutely a fucking art an artsy movie

but like a but then like fucking Ocean's Eleven probably made like half a billion dollars oh yeah you know what I mean like crazy

and fun sequels that like he'll be able to do for the rest of his life yeah I just wish James Corden would have been in it

that's the only thing that would have made it better I like read this article about how he specifically is really successful in the Coen brothers because every movie that he's in, they play off his image as a movie star. So in No Brother Where Art Thou, right, he's very vain where he's always combing his hair and he's like Dapper Dan. But that whole movie is him getting dirty.

So they just beat him up throughout these movies. And it's like this weird juxtaposition. I love it. Yeah. He's the best i don't like i don't know what to say about him that isn't said by any of his performances he's incredible uh tascani oh man final pick same same as demi lot on the board i'm gonna go with you can't do the same as me i did it same as you george clooney ocean's 12th. I'm going to go yin and yang.

God damn it. Is that a back to back? Or is that a duality? Or is that at the same time? A duality? I find they come on back to back. I can pick something else. Which one are we talking about?

Are we talking about the pendant on the necklace in the 90s? Are we talking about the twins? Are we talking about quit talking about Quit talking that yin-yang? What are we doing? I'm talking about whistling while you twerk. Whistling and then... Talking about that back-to-back of whispers.

That is more of a duality. Okay, well, I'll pick something else. Well, fuck me. Fuck me. I'm going to go... Kendrick Lamar, else all right well fuck me fuck me i'm gonna go kendrick lamar bitch don't kill my vibe back style free or backseat freestyle that song really does sound like the way you feel cool when you're having sex i listened to backseat freestyle on the drive to uh the improv night from Sauce, just going like way too fast.

Yeah. Got to serve the streets. That's what I remember. It was like right in Portland was when that album came out. So we were all hanging, and I remember that Backseat Freestyle was what you listened to before your set. Yeah. All the time. That clanging and banging ass beat.

Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. And just Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe is a perfect, like, it's like a mellow party song. Yeah. I love the video for that. Yeah, it was just. Yeah. I love that backseat freestyle, too, because that's the,

in Good Kid, Mad City, that's where he's having sex with Shireen, right? Right. And that's like, it just like, the way that feels cool is the way that feeling sex, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like he's just saying

wild shit. Wild shit, because he's fucking. My dick is as big as the Eiffel Tower. Did you imagine writing down your thoughts while you're having sex?

It would be just insane. It would be like that. Yeah, you're like, I can't. God damn, I feel great. God damn, I feel amazing. My mind is in the matrix. Zoom, zoom, I feel great. God damn, I feel amazing. My mind is in the matrix. Zoom, zoom, I'm racing.

Also, it's a fucking Kendrick banger, which are more few and far between than they should be. The day that Humble dropped, I screamed. Oh, my God. That was fucking, yeah. Yes. That video was great. I just want him to be hard. like i mean i get what he's

doing with we've talked about it a lot on yeah we've we've respect for it but i want i want to yeah i want a banger give me something i'll fucking tear a sink out of a wall too give me that mother music yeah when him and pusha do a song together again worldwide event nostalgia was the best part of that year for me. That's how I learned about taco meat. I didn't know what it was until then. And now I was celebrating it long before. Turns out the taco meat was right there with you.

Covered from inside the house, man. Didn't Lady Gaga do a cover of Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe or something? I don't know why in my head I'm like when I think of that song I think of her and I think that's why. I could see. I bet a lot of people covered it. And as an ethos I love it. Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe.

There's a version of it featuring Lady Gaga. Oh really? We'll be listening to that. Excellent pick Zach. We could talk about to that. Excellent pick, Zach. We could talk about it more, but in the interest of time, I'm going to move us on. My final pick, the final pick of the draft, I'm taking in the year 2000.

In the year 2000. Vince Carter in the 2000 Summer Olympics dunked over Frederick Weiss. Oh, wait, I may have to get this reverse order. In the 2000 NBA All-Star Dunk Contest, Vince Carter did the best dunk contest performance of all time. It's the iconic one. Nasty.

Just fucking throwing down all the crazy dunks. Elbow in the rim. Elbow in the rim. The fucking cradle to baby. Just the free throw line. The coolest dunk. The best dunk contest ever. And then, in the Summer Olympics, dunked over a seven-foot Frenchman to the point that he had been drafted by an NBA team

but never came over. Ruined him. Frederick Weiss. Over him. Over him. You got dunked out of playing professional sports. That's worse than broken ankles. Yeah.

Somebody saw him a few months later and they're like, what's up, Frederick? And he's like, oh. I hate basketball. Yeah. I hate my life. i hate the world america i bet he he went back to his town and everyone was like we can't talk like everyone just knows they can't bring that up he's a farmer what are you talking about the canadian raptor vince carter going back to back in the fucking that dunk contest and then when he like broke the backboard no i don't know if he ever did that. Shaq did that.

Shaq did that. I could have sworn Vince Carter did that. Vince Carter just fucking... Elbow in. He jumped so high that he hung from his elbow. God damn. And then he did the... He jumped 44 inches off easy. His head would be above the rim on those dunks where he's

just looking down. He's still in the NBA right now. That was in the year 2000. And he still dunks at warm looking down. He's still in the NBA right now. That was in the year 2000. And he still dunks at War Moms. He's still in the NBA? Yeah. He can still do the 360. What year was he drafted?

99? Yeah. It was the first year? 98? He was the first guy to get drafted to the Raptors. People aren't in the NBA for like 20 years usually. No. It's very rare. Jesus Christ.

And for him specifically, he had to adapt. He had to get all those skills that he uses now later. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's 41. He's in the NBA still. And he looks good still.

He does look good. He does look good. He's been living good. He's in Atlanta right now. Close enough. He's in Atlanta? He plays for Atlanta, I think, right? He's the Atlanta Santa.

Yeah, he is. Damn. So, yeah, Vince Carter's 2,000 for me. So, he is. Damn. So yeah, Vince Carter's 2000 for me. So, excellent draft. Oh yeah. This was a fun one. This was a really good one. Just to recap from the top, David, you went TGIF in 93-94.

Howl on a viral wains, kids. Collateral Ray, unpredictable. The Bulls, 96-97-98. And then You Don't Know, Hola Jovito, Heart of the City, off the Blueprint by Jay-Z. Demi, you went second. You took Tom Hanks' Sleepless in Seattle, Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Apollo 13, Toy Story, That Thing You Do, Saving Private Ryan Run. Jeez.

And then Thriller and Bad by Michael Jackson. Sandra Bullock accepting a Razzie and then accepting an Oscar the very next day. Baller. OK Computer and then Kid A by Radiohead. Oh Brother Where Art Thou and then Ocean's Eleven by George Clooney. Good fucking picks. I'm happy with that. Zach, you went third. You took The Thing and Escape from New York by

Kurt Russell. French Open and then Wimbledon. Buying something new and then wearing it to school the next day. Eating a huge meal and then taking a nap, and then Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe, Backseat Freestyle off of Good Kid Mad City by Kendrick I went last on I Took Devil in a New Dress into Runway by Kanye

Larry David's Seinfeld to Curb Run, drinking a shot and then drinking a beer, Quentin Tarantino's True Romance in a Pulp Fiction, and then Vince Carter's 2000 Dunk Contest, and then jumping over Frederick Weiss. Man.

We lost some good shit on the board. Can I say the one I left on the board because I wasn't able to explain it well? Yeah. I was going to pick All in Attack, All in Alarm, and Mintaka, Orion's Belt. Oh. The big three. Yeah. But once again, I thought this was a back-to-back.

I don't know where I got that. I don't know why I got that. I think it's just like got lost in translation between the three and the... Sgt. Pepper and Little Help for My Friends. I was going to be cocky and just be like, the fourth pick of the Serpentine Draft is a good back-to-back. I was going to be cocky and just be like, the fourth pick of the Serpentine Draft is a good back-to-back. Low End Theory and the Midnight Marauders by Tribe.

I just essentially made a list of acting. I did Whiplash, La La Land, All Timer. Brunch and then having a late lunch. Fargo Big Lebowski. July and then August. New in Town, The Comeback Kid by Mulaney. Oh, fuck yes. Yeah.

Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch and Glove. Oh, amazing. And then there will be fucking, I mean, every movie's done. Right. LCD, Someone Great and All My Friends. Come on. Oh, Jesus Christ. Back to back. Yeah, that's a, I mean, no, these were all my picks.

I thought it was three picks. Yeah. LeBron James, Game 6, Game 7, 2016 Finals. Damn, dude. Right? Blocked by James. LeBron James, game six, game seven, 2016 finals. Damn, dude. Right? Blocked by James. Yeah.

That's all you have to say. Coming out of nowhere. Damn. God damn. Beat the Warriors. Steven Spielberg's got ET Raiders and, well, he did ET and the Raiders, but then he also did Hook, Jurassic Park, and Schindler's List. What a motherfucker. And I think Schindler and Jurassic Park were the same year.

Yeah. I thought they were doing them at the same time or something crazy like that. I don't know. What a mood. What? I don't even... I'm doing those simultaneously. Did he even see his family? Yeah. No. Do you see anyone? Like, I mean... They're like, yeah, my dad's doing, uh, well, one movie's about dinosaurs

and the other one's about the Holocaust. You're gonna see both of them. Which one you wanna hear about? It's actually two films about a Holocaust, if you think about it. And two films about a holocaust, if you think about it. And two films about dinosaurs. The Nazis. Excellent picks, everybody. Send us yours.

We want to hear them. At All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcast at gmail.com. Send us your questions. If you have any questions for the mailbags, we're going to do send them to allfantasypodcast at gmail.com. We want to hear your picks. Shout out to the AFE subreddit. Shout out to everyone on Twitter, on Instagram. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Hashtag PoppinDogs

for Candace. Hashtag PoppinDogs for Candace. Shout out to Super Producer Marissa as always on the boards. The fucking sun in our solar system. Couldn't do it without her. And more important than all of that,

tune in again next week. Oh, shout out to St. Sue Carmel. I think I won a whole episode without saying hi to my mom. Hi, mom. Hi, mom. Hi, moms. Hi, mom. More important than all of that,

tune in again next week to a brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Chick-filickety! That was a HeadGum Podcast.