All Fantasy Everything - Band Names (w/ Sean Jordan, David Gborie and Chris Charpentier)

Episode Date: June 15, 2017

The boys are all back in town, and they're joined by comedian Chris Charpentier! Together, they're drafting band names. Not the bands themselves. Not their music. Just the names. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new All Fantasy Everything, ladies and gentlemen. The podcast that jumps out of a speeding car and does a cool-ass roll, and it sort of kicks up into like a leap, and then freezes in mid-air, and like a cool sort of red and yellow sunburst is behind it all of a sudden, you know? And then while everything else is frozen, it winks into the camera and says,

let's fantasy draft some stuff. Pretty good, right? You give me two weeks. You know, I flew to London. I sat silently in Westminster Avenue and I thought about what to open the podcast with. We can call you Mr. Worldwide now. Mr. Worldwide. Two weeks to London. We can call you Mr. Worldwide now. Mr. Worldwide. Two weeks to London.

Would you rather be Mr. Worldwide or Mr. International Player with a Passport? Mr. International Player with a Passport. Yeah, that's good. But what I'd really like to be is both. Also a Tupac and Pitbull, but that can't happen, my friend. They're two separate bald gentlemen. They call me Tubal. Oh, so Tubal's...

Tubal or Pitpac? Oh, shit! Pitpac. Oh, so Two Bull's... Two Bull or Pitpock? Oh, shit! Pitpock? Oh, my God! Damn! Let's go to Skid Row's a block away. I'm going to go down there, take my shirt off, scream that my name is Pitpock and see who wants a piece.

Pitpock sounds like his father was a tire fire and his mother was depression. Fucking Pitpock. Pitpock? Pitpock. Sounds like a bad dude. Pitpock could be any number of things, man. He's like, I feel like he's the testosterone from both of those guys. Yeah.

Fused into one. Fused into one. Just a dark-skinned Puerto Rican. Yeah. If you were on Tinder and your profile picture was Chris Pine, if your name was PitPock, you would never get a match. You'd never get a match. I can't fuck with PitPock.

But he still fucks every night. Oh, God, yeah. PitPock's only sprints places. PitPock can fuck a brick wall if he feels like it. PitPock could be, like, standing at the bar and need to go to the bathroom. He would sprint to the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sprint back. Where'd you go?

I killed someone on the way there. I killed someone. He only drinks bottles of alcohol. No glasses. No glasses. That'll be $36 for this bottle of Grey Goose while I only pay in the blood of a virgin. So what is that in virgin ounces?

You break that down for me. I don't have time. He's never fully standing still either. No, no. Always micro-movements. And he's got really pronounced D'Angelo. Yeah, but no other... Is there a word for those muscles?

They must. No. That's not. That's jealousy talking. Cum gutters. Take your feelings out of it. They're called the D'Angelo's as far as I'm concerned. That's what...

Everybody knows what you say when you say the D'Angelo's. Same thing with Goldberg's. The neck muscles. Oh, the Goldberg's. What do I got to do to get a muscle group? Dude, you got to get... We need to do a lot of different stuff. That's a long road.

Take last night and just flip it around and do the opposite. That's what we need to do to get those muscles. It's not worth it. We got after it yesterday. It was a David Bowie kind of day, even though David Bowie wasn't there. I feel like I would have appreciated it. What did you guys get into? Oh, man.

That's how I like it. Oh, man. What did you get into? Oh, man. What didn't we get into? I saw the pictures from the golf course, and I knew. I was like, these guys are fucking turning up. What was that?

So we went golfing. Went to the driving range with our guest, Chris Charpentier. Oh, we did? We hit some balls? Yeah, we hit some golf balls. What a treat. We hit some golf balls. Had some drinks.

Had a drink at the clubhouse with Connie, who is not a fan of Donald Trump. Connie was this old battle axe waitress. Real spark plug, Connie. Real, who, not a fan of Donald Trump. Connie was this old battle axe waitress who worked at the golf club. Real spark plug, Connie. Real, just, just a hot ticket. Just, just 10 pounds of trouble

in a five pound bag. Yeah. Connie was great. And somehow politics came up and she was just, she was just Red Donald Trump the riot act

right there at the table. It was great. Yeah. I could not believe it. She did not look like the person that she ended up i thought because ian said something about trump and she goes what did you say and i'm like

fucking crap yeah and then and then she just totally agreed yeah he does suck that liar whoa man it was great i can see a fellow bleeding heart you know i sense that uh then when we drank we did a little drinking at the house. Yeah, man. Dude, I was making these Stiegl's. You know the Stiegl's that are kind of like, it's more liquor, but it's orange? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do that and with some tequila.

Oh, shit. And it's real good. What do you call that? I don't even know. You got to think about that. I didn't invent it. He ended up calling it gully water by the end of the night. Yeah, we're calling it gully water, dude.

Well, it only became gully water once you put it in an Aquafina bottle. Brought it to good heroin and just parked it behind someone's whip, like just behind the tire. I'm like, hey, there's the liquor over there. And it was like, I'm going to drink that. The fuck did you do it? It couldn't have looked more like piss. It looked, it was grapefruit beer.

Especially behind the tire in an Aquafina bottle. Grapefruit, and tequila both kind of look like piss in the right light. But when you put them together, like piss. It doesn't matter what light. Gully water. Then we went to a house party. We went to Ricky Carmona's house party, man. You had some shots of holy water there. Yeah, absolutely.

Got baptized three or four times. Cut a small rug. Played our own music in the lift on the way home. Not through a hookup. Just cupping it through my hand in the backseat. Everybody loves that. I could not have been stoked.

He couldn't have been into it. He was just probably so grateful we didn't puke. He wasn't ready for anything. Today, we are drafting, if you're the kind of person who doesn't even look at the, whoa, what is the word I'm thinking of? Description. Jesus, description. I don't know why I was air quoting it.

Air quoting it. We're drafting bands' names strictly off the strength of the band name it has nothing to do with the music the band makes just the strength of the name that's an apt description right yeah and it was it was the the brainchild of of our guest chris charpentier at charpy comedy on twitter yes that's me stand-up comedian extraordinaire. Can we say your television debut coming up soon? Can we announce that? I don't know if we can announce that. All right, but what you can see, you're at the Denver Comedy Works coming up, right?

Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. The July 2nd and 5th, I'm headlining Comedy Works in Denver. You're headlining? Yeah. Headliner, baby.

Bang. Oh, we went to Red Robin, too. You guys went to Red Robin? Yeah. Yeah. I did go to Red Robin. Damn it. And also, that means we went to the mall. Yeah, we went to Red Robin, too. You guys went to Red Robin? Yeah. I did go to Red Robin. Damn it. And also, that means we went to the mall.

Yeah, we went to the mall. Damn it. And I bought these socks. All right. You guys had a day. We did. And you bought some kicks and some candles. Yeah.

I got it. It was a day. It was a day. It was up in the mountains like a fucking nerd. It was a good old-fashioned day. Yeah, it was. What a good one so make sure you go

check out Charpy Denver Comedy Works also here United once again for the first time in a long time thrilled about it we have Sean Jordan

yes at Sean S. Jordan on Twitter yeah yeah Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan oh don't get it twisted there it is Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan

on the gram don't get it twisted or you might get fisted oh dog snitches get stitches and left in ditches yeah dude anything you got coming up

show at the improv on the on the Friday whatever this Friday is 16th maybe 16th baby Dax and I

we're doing the Cheap Pair of Jordans Cheap Pair oh you changed the name we did oh good it's not the Squarnch Brothers anymore

the Squarnch Brothers it's a littlech Brothers? The Squarnch Brothers. That's a little too murky. That's a cheap pair of Jordans. Cheap Jordans is a great name. It is a good name. It's a fun one, right? It's a great name. It's a great name.

Fantastic. The G is silent. The Gislin. David Borey is back in the house. The Gislin. We're not going to. Oh, you know what? Friday and Saturday, I'm going to be in Des Moines, Iowa at the Funny Bone.

At the Funny Bezel? You have my name. Opening for my man, Chris Kattan. Oh! All types of shenanigans. The Kattan with the plan. I don't know if there's a plan. I don't think there is a plan.

A dude shoots from a hip. Do you know how close that is to Sioux Falls, South Dakota? I'm from there. Oh, are you from there? You should take a day trip. How close is it? Go to the falls. Five hours. It's not that close. I don from there. Oh, are you from there? You should take a day trip. How close is it? Go to the falls. Five hours.

It's not that close. I don't even have a car. You should rent a car. I don't have a driver's license. There's so many steps. Break some laws, man. You know why they make laws, right? If anybody wants to bring me chiseled to the Sioux Falls or the Des Moines, Iowa.

Bring them out. Bring them out. Bring them out. Yeah, bring out the chiseled to Des Moines, Iowa, funny bone. It's hard to chew with chis-lick in your mouth. It must be. Is it chewy or is it crunchy? It's not called chis-lick, my friend.

I don't even know what that means. Chewy. Chew. Chis-lick. Chew. Chis-lick. I don't feel like those go together like you want them to go. The chemistry's gone.

We've lost it. Sometimes the grenade doesn't blow up. You know, you just throw it. You pulled the pin, though. You're a soldier. Yeah. I've lost it. Sometimes the grenade doesn't blow up. You know, you just throw it. You pulled the pin, though. You're a soldier. Yeah. I still respect it. Yeah.

It's more, it's less chewy than, like, normal steak. Because it's deep fried. Okay. Yep. You can catch me, Ian Carmel, in Toronto. Oh, shit. The one time. I'm a super producer at the Comedy Bar, June 23rd through the 25th.

Two shows on Friday, two shows on Saturday, and one on the Lord's Day. Oh, my God. Man, you really are Mr. International. Yeah, I'm Mr. International. I'm going to Toronto, and then for our New York City fans, I'll be all over New York City the following week. Time. Doing all your fun little indie shows.

You know what? Real quick. I'm so excited. That's perfect. I was in Madison. Thank you to everyone in Madison who listens, who came. Madison, Wisconsin. People came up after the shows and just

and a couple people in Sioux Falls. That's amazing. Shout out to all y'all. There were people in London who wanted to, like, are you going to do a show from the podcast? Shout out to you too, yeah. Crazy. Oh, man. Speaking of which, sorry for the lack of a podcast last week.

I was in foggy London town. And we were supposed to record one in the morning before I left. But then British Airways got all fucked up. And my flight got moved four different times. So it just couldn't happen. So, man, I'm just so sorry. Yeah, I saw there were some angry tweets. There were some angry tweets.

Not from me. No, no. Towards you. Towards me. There were. People were pissed. Where's the free podcast, Ian? You son of a bitch. You know what? They have the right. They do. I love it. I love hearing I encourage

a complete and total free exchange of ideas whether negative or positive with our listeners. But I did have to block somebody. I've never blocked. Well, I blocked a couple trolls. You've never blocked? I have blocked.

I blocked like two, like, palatrolls. I probably blocked a thousand people on Twitter. But you've had them come at you before. Yeah, they've come down on you. The InfoWars people. Nobody gives a shit about what I'm doing. I do, David. Cutty sarcasm.

Make fun of the vodka drop. The roost is going to block us from going in. Man, I just went there like a week ago, and as soon as I walked in, she was like, Cutty sarcasm. That's the dream. That's all I want. That's all I want.

I love the roost. Shout out to the roost. All right. We should get to the podcast. What type of draft is it? It's a serpentine draft, David. Thank you for asking. Now, I'm aware, but just so Chris knows.

Yes. And maybe refresh my memory. What does serpentine mean? A serpentine draft. Now, if you pick fourth in the first round, that means you pick first in the second round. Like if a snake were to hit a wall. Absolutely.

It's a sort of serpentine sort of thing. Nokia style. Yeah. Nokia. Okay. All right a sort of serpentine sort of thing. Nokia style. Yeah. Nokia. Okay. All right. Now I'm clear on it. The podcast is mostly

based on Nokia stuff. Yeah. Polyphonic green tones. And Sky Mobile pages. I'm a scary international player with a passport. I got six pages. So the way we determine the order is through a game of rock, paper, scissors. six pages. So it's a,

and the way we determine the order is through a game of rock, paper, scissors, or rock, paper, scissors, as I like to pronounce it. I know you've been out of the country.

Rock, paper, scissors, play between the three of you. It's rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

You throw on shoot. It's one out of one. And basically whoever doesn't match, you know, if like, so if it's two rocks, you throw scissors, you win. Yeah. Even rock, smash scissors. Ready to go time listener oh long time uh so here we go let's play one two three shoot shoot yeah all right here we are rock paper scissors shoot oh

oh almost like it was planned that means you get to determine the draft order How will we be picking today? I think we'll go Ian, Chris, David, Sean There it is The classic Ian, Chris, David, Sean I get it Going this way It's sort of Sean, what it is is a serpentine draft

By the way, we're getting chicken wings after this Hell yeah I've got shit to do today, dawg Besides this By the way, we're getting chicken wings after this if you guys are in. Yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Okay, cool. Of course. I've got shit to do today, dog. It's going to be great. Besides this. I've got to win this Moffkin draft.

Moffkin draft. Marissa, you up for chicken wings? We're going to get like 3,000 chicken wings. Yeah, it's going to be awesome. For those who couldn't hear, she goes, oh my God. For those who couldn't hear, she goes, oh my god. With the first pick of the band names divorced from what the band did at all, just based on the name of the band. What a good idea.

Such a good idea. I have the first pick. And as soon as I heard this idea, I knew immediately what my pick was going to be. I don't even care if it's something you guys would take or not. I have to take it. I'm taking Megadeth. Yeah, nice. That's a good move. Megadeth.

Brr! It sounds so scary. It's crazy. On the list. It's on the list? It's now off my list. Fantastic. That makes me happier.

Great name. It's an insane name. Is it? Dave Mustaine, who, by the way, Kelly Jordan calls him Dave. She likes them so much. Oh, really? She likes Megadeth so much? Currently likes Megadeth. Hell yeah.

We're not talking 80s Kelly Jordan metal mom. We're talking current 2017 Kelly Jordan. Hell yeah. She likes Megadeth enough to call him Dave. That is awesome. But yeah, Dave Mustaine, dude, sweating. I don't even know the music. Well, Dave Mustaine was in Metallica

and they kicked him out for being a shit, I think, right? Oh, is that the Louisiana, because he was drinking too much. He was drinking too much, yeah. Which is a crazy reason to get kicked out of something. That's how I got into most of my things. If you're going to get kicked out of a rock and roll band for drinking too much, you better be... I mean, you're a badass.

You better go form a band called Megadeth. You better be drinking gasoline. Your liver better be a bruise. Death is spelled D-E-T-H, which I find intriguing. I bet you that's how he thought it was spelled. Because he was so drunk. It gives it a good symmetry. Four letter, four letter.

Mega death. It's just crazy. Death is already the final thing. Mega death? How do you more than die? It's just crazy. It doesn't make any sense, but it makes so much sense. It makes me scared when I hear it.

I can't think of a better name. It's also a name that tells you exactly what it does. I don't need to know. This can be divorced to the band's music, but if you say, I'm going to go see Megadeth, I know exactly where you're going. You know exactly what you're getting into. A lot of black boots. You're going to go have a night? Probably an arena.

Maybe some type of World War II regalia. Some spilt Budweiser. Oh, yeah. One of those helmets with the spikes on it. Yeah. Somebody wearing, what do you call them, Iron Maidens? Yeah. A lot of chain wallets. A lot of chain wallets. A lot of chains in general. Too many.

Don't they have some crazy like, or no, that's a different band, I think. Oh, no, it is. Don't they have a crazy skeleton mascot? All of their album covers are just covered in skeletons. It's like skeletons fighting

wars and shit. Skeletons killing each other. It's awesome. Like Terminator. Before Terminator. Hey, we should have this field full of skulls kind of like the Megadeth album and that's how Terminator got Vic Rattlehead is the name of their mascot

he's the skull with metal sunglasses on I wish Vic Rattlehead was a band Vic Rattlehead a skeleton figure who embodies the phrase see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil his eyes are covered by a riveted on visor. His mouth is clamped shut. And his ears, such as they are, he's a skeleton, are closed with metal caps.

Vic Rattlehead. Wow. Oh, my God. I love that Victor's just sort of a normal name. Before Chicken Wings, we need to stop at a tattoo parlor so I can get Vic Rattlehead tattooed on my neck. Yeah, and I have to go so I can get a cover up. I have it already. The name or the symbol.

I saw a BuzzFeed video. Are you going to get the name or the symbol tattooed? God, I don't know, man. I got two fists. You got two sides of the neck. Get both. Oh, man. I just found him online.

Vic Rattlehead is pretty cool. He's cool, right? He's fucking cool. He's a cool enough logo that they had to give him a name. Yeah, but this guy can't just be out here. We gotta name this dude. Dave, who is that guy? That's Vic Rattlehead.

That's a friend of mine. Just a little guy I came up with. Yeah, he's currently making out with my girlfriend, but I'm not really worried about it because it's Vic Rattlehead. Dave Mustaine has that big bushy metal hair, too. Yeah. Oh, it's soft. Yeah.

Like Hermione Granger. He's got Hermione metal hair too. Yeah. It's like thick. Yeah. Like Hermione Granger. He's got Hermione Granger hair. A lot of people consider him the Hermione Granger of the metal world. How stoked do you think they were when they were like, when somebody finally said

Megadeth out loud? Oh my God. Dude. What was that brainstorming session like? Super death. Super death. Super death.

Mega murder. Half dead. Extra dead. Full dead. Ultra dead. Big Dead. Ultra Dead. Big Daddy and the five guitar sound. Dead Plus. Dead Plus One.

Cherry Poppin' Daddy. Cherry Poppin' Daddy. Get the fuck out of here, Steve! You'll see. You'll all see. You'll all see. Yeah, the guy from the Cherry Poppin' Daddies was once... Speaking of crazy names, I don't know why I know,

because I was a big Cherry Poppin' Daddy fan for that one album. I can see that. Their drummer's name was Flash Medallion, which is dope. Great name. I can't believe they got away with that name. I can see you in the locker room in high school just having people like, you like Cherry Poppin' Daddies, right? That's a cool thing to like. No, man. You're locker room in high school just having people like, you like Cherry Pop-O-Daddy, right? That's a cool thing to like.

Ian, no, man. You're really good at football, but no, I don't like that. Yeah, before a game, I like to listen to Zoot Suit Riot. Throwback of all the games. Pull a cone through your cold black hair. Zoot Suit Riot. Yeah. Yeah, just skidded a bebop And went down the hallway

Dave Mustaine The exact opposite of Flash Medallion I imagine Yeah Like on the spectrum I wonder how many I wonder throughout the course

Of this draft How many bands We're gonna name That have dead band members A lot Oh yeah Probably a lot My first one does for sure

That's not funny Megadeth Megadeth They have that song Like the one really famous one it's not about the songs Chris just listen to the fucking story fucking idiot

god damn it thanks for welcoming me to the podcast Dave real nice Dave now I'm that guy now I'm the asshole now you're Dave we go way back.

I Dave'd myself 10 minutes in. Ouch. Chris, I'm sorry. You were saying? Thank you, Mr. Jordan. You're welcome. I, uh... So, I was in a drug rehab,

and my drug rehab counselor used to sponsor somebody in Megadeth. Whoa. And Dave Mustaine used to call this dude all the time and leave him messages. And they had that one really famous song where he'd say like, hello me, it's me again.

Yeah, they did. He had that stupid, and he had a really unique voice. And my drug counselor had a message saved on his machine, probably still does, that's like, hello Bar Barney it's me again and it was like yeah Brom Davis

pull that out like in a weed circle in the backyard of a house party hey you guys gotta listen to this pull it out of the drive-in and jack in the box hello Barney it's me again and two tacos that's amazing.

Yeah, so fucking mega death. I can't imagine. It's just like getting punched in the mouth twice. Yeah. Mega death. Great name. So that's my first pick. Chris Charpentier, you have the second pick of the draft.

This is, I found this to be way harder than I expected. It really was. I got a couple bold moves I'm going to make. We'll see. It's hard to separate the music from the... It's tough. You guys got to imagine you never heard it. But I'm going to go with...

Because I feel the same way. It's got it when you're... You should envision something when you hear it. A vodka. You're building it up. You're building it up. Shellac. Shellac. Shellac.

Oh, man. Ooh. That is a good... I didn't know that was a band. I have no idea who Shellac is. I don't know the band either. I thought it was just getting drunk. They have a song called...

Kid Shellac? Yeah. Exactly. You know what it means. It's perfect. And it's a lot like Megadeth. You know what they're going to sound like. Yeah.

And they have a song called A Prayer to God that is... I don't know that I'm going to sound like. Yeah. And they have a song called A Prayer to God that is, I don't know that I'm going to recommend it. I don't know that I'm going to tell you to go listen to it. I don't know what kind of music fans you have for listeners, but if you like, if you, it's intense. It's great. Intensity, intensity. It's great.

It's real intense. If you've recently been broken up with or have been... Especially if there was cheating involved. Great song to listen to. Is it one of those songs that you think is going to help but then when you listen to it you're like, I want to fucking go kill her.

Like Hospital by the Modern Lovers? Once you hear the song, you're going to kill them both. Chris is so serious. Once you hear the lyrics of the song, you'll get what I'm saying. Chris is doing that

predator machete thing that the guy did. Cutting his chest right now and he's silently screaming because we're on a podcast. 90% of the lyrics are fucking kill him. I'm serious. 90% of the lyrics are fucking kill him. I'm serious. Oh, man.

Shalak. See, I advocate killing the guy. You know, let's leave violence against women out of this. But yeah, kill the dude. Yeah, even if he didn't know, kill him. Shalak. It's a great, it's an onomatopoetic word. Yeah. It just sounds hard.

Shalak. Shalak. Which is crazy because it also has, isn't it also like for manicures and stuff? I thought it was taking paint off. It's a nail thing you put on, right? Shellac. It's like a coating that you put over something.

A shellac to keep it. Shellac. Like paint. It's fucking his head. Yeah, it is. It's super fun. It's all with the gentleman's blood kind of situation. Shellac.

Shellac back, Jack. That's what Shellaciel O'Neal's nickname would have been. Shellac. Shellaciel O'Neal. Shellaciel O'Neal. I bet that's what he calls himself when he gets drunk. Oh, shit, it's Shalakiel. Big Shalactus.

Hey, Shalak. That reminds me, while I was in London, my writing partner on the show, this guy, Louis Weymouth. Shout out to Louis Weymouth. Met Louis. You met Louis, great guy. He's a British dude, a very posh British dude. And he was doing like this act out of hanging up a phone on someone.

And the noise he made for hanging up the phone was shaklakity, which I love. Shaklakity. And I'll have no more of it. Shaklakity. And I was like, what? Shaklakity. Man, that guy's having more fun than anybody. He really is.

Sha-clackity? Sha-clackity. That's a great time. I didn't even know those sounds went together. But they fucking do, though, right? Sha-clackity. Sha-clackity. Sha-clackity.

It is. Sha-lack. So much fun to sing. Sha-lack. Sha-lack. I like it. I like it. I like it, too.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Sha-lack. Fantastic first pick. How do you... Now... Go on. Don't you dare look it up.. Thank you. Thank you. Shellac, fantastic first pick. How do you... Now, go on. Don't you dare look it up. How do you spell the name of the band?

Oh, I already looked it up. Oh, you did? I got an idea. Go on. Let's hear it. S-H-E-L-A-C-K. No. Shellac.

L-A-Q-U-E? No. I'm out. C-H-A... What? Try to think of how a band would get fucked with themselves. C-H-A-L-A-Q-U-E. P.

Nah. We all did Molly two hours ago. No, we didn't. That's not true. People would believe that. Yeah, not true at all. Just based on our previous records. We're just having fun. It's been a while. No, we didn't. That's not true. People would believe that. Yeah, not true at all. Just based on our previous records. We're just having fun.

It's been a while. We're just having fun. Mom. But we really are on Molly. Yeah, shellac. How do you spell it, though? S-H-E-L-L-A-C. L-L-A-C.

I wouldn't have thought that. You were close. I was trying. Shellac. Shellac. I like the C-H. That was a bold right at the gate. Hey, I like a have thought that. You were close. I was trying. She-lack. She-lack. I like the C-H. That was a bold right at the gate. Hey, I like a C-H.

They make rules to be broken, my friend. We're going to do a podcast. How to draft ways to spell shellac. Not spelling rules. Those are like the only rules you're supposed to follow. Hey, Chris Charpentier, buddy. There it is right there. Charpentier.

Charpentier. Like shellac. But that's French. You don't know that shellac's not French? I do know that. Put your shirts back on. Me and Dave are having a tough time so far today. He picked me up today, too.

We were having a good day before this started. Yeah. I mean, it happens. This podcast will bring it out. We'll see what happens after this first pick. Yeah. That might bring you right back into friendship. Which you're going to make right now, David Borey.

Okay. That'll be your first pick. My first pick first pick i'm gonna set the scene shakalaka shakalaka tea it's it's uh it's 2072 that's the year planet earth is uh a barren wasteland it's too hot to go out sure because of the nuclear sun in the daytime. We only exist at night. Amongst the wasteland, there are marauders, gangsters, all types of ne'er-do-wells. There's one force you look to throughout the night sky. You look to the sky, you see who's on the horizon. The Delphonics.

Ooh. It's such a cool name. It is a cool name. It sounds like a robot squad. The Delphonics. The Delphonics. Great name. Delphonics.

I'm listening to them for sure. Fuck yeah. It sounds like they could do anything. Exactly. The Delphonics could be a futuristic police force. Anything. And I looked up their Wikipedia page. Yeah.

No idea how they got that name. Still not? There's nobody named Del in there? No. No. The one guy was in a band called the Olphonics before. Interesting. And then he rebranded to the Delphonics.

Delphonics. Are there horns involved in this music? No. It's like old school R&B. Oh, Delphonics? Yeah, yeah. Did not blow your mind this time. Okay.

Yeah. Thank you. It's beautiful music. Okay, I this time. Okay. Thank you. It's beautiful music. Okay, I got it. It's beautiful music. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, I love you. A lot of people are going to think the Delphonics were in the room just now. It was me. Come to find out.

That was actually just Ian. It was Ian Carmel. Which is odd. I just don't know how they came up with this name that sounds like it's for robots. It is amazing. I mean, phonics means like seance. Yeah. Is Del like a...

Del... Like a Latin word for it? I don't know. Awesome? Of the? Of the Del? They weren't Latin guys. No, they were from Philly.

Yeah. Motown Philly. They were some smooth looking dudes from Philly. Yeah. Motown Philly. They were some smooth looking dudes from Philly. They were. It's a dead language of Latin. Oh, no. I like this. I think they just knew it sounded great.

They weren't Latin. I think they just knew it sounded great. They were just like, yeah, Delphonics sounds like we got a hit. It's such a cool word. I love that it's an equally suitable name for a team of cat robots that patrol this futuristic wasteland, piloted by a rogues

gallery of people. And for three smooth dudes from Philly. It could be anything. Anything in between. Anything in between. It could be a breakdancing crew. It could be anything. If they were a breakdancing crew, they'd have those weird leather straps that don't cover their nipples. Yeah.

Oh, the bonded straps. What are they doing there? Like the crossover He-Man used to wear? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if they're doing anything, it's meant to cover up your nipples. And I can clearly see your nipples. One fingerless glove. There's a delphonics on the floor.

Break in. One fingerless glove. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, what's that glove about? One fingerless glove. Missing the index? Yeah. What is that glove? Oh, just the one? One fingerless glove. Have what's that glove missing the the index yeah what is the whole just the one one yeah have you seen that have you i've seen i have seen that what is that i have no idea what

that's for phones but no but it predates phone predates phones that just lets someone know like listen i'm ready to lose this particular finger yeah yeah these other ones are important i will lose this finger if you want to break dance for fingers, I'm ready to lose this digit right here. It's because it goes in so many holes it needs to be easy to be cleaned. Yeah. I don't have time to take off the glove

and I don't have time to take it off to clean it. How many holes is it really going in? Somebody who wears a glove with one finger missing? That's true. That is true. That ups your whole game for sure. Count gotta dress for the party you don't know i'm not i mean any hole i'd be making so many points with that finger oh yeah i'd point out what are you doing can you do the double i love the i've been thinking about starting a point with

my forefinger and pinky yeah it's kind of cool. It's a cool fucking point. Like this way or like... You have to go sideway. Do you grab those over there? This is great for the podcast. I feel like you have to go a traditional gun point to make that work. One of the points I like is the index finger, the pinky finger, and the thumb up. Yeah. And you can really

like, who the fuck do you think you are, buddy? Get the fuck out of here. You're coming in here and tell me you're out of brisketket I just saw a guy leave with brisket I just saw a guy leave with fucking brisket now you go back there put a pickle and brisket together for me I usually point with a baseball bat myself just walk into the grocery store where the fuck are the brussel sprouts

and I'm pointing at the brussel sprouts with a bat where the fuck are they? I'm looking at James, and James doesn't want to say they're right in front of you because I can clearly see they're right in front of me. So I'll take you right there, sir, and then he takes you around the bosque pears and apples and then loops you back around. Where the fuck are the Brussels sprouts, dude?

Pointing with a bat at the Brussels sprouts. This feels like a trick question. And you know who steps in to save James? The Delphonics. Yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. I give them the bat. Yeah, you give...

They come in through the AC unit. I mean, they were going to take the bat regardless. Because they're a bunch of tiny little mice. Cat robots. Cat robots who turn into big size and they go through AC units. It's like a morphin droid zord. Zord? What? I'm just... droid Zord Zord I just control deleted my brain if your girlfriend was going to see them uh-huh not wearing panties well you can throw them'd be over. She's not wearing panties, that's for sure. Well, she's wearing them

so she can throw them up on stage. Yeah, she's not wearing them home. I'd be like, call me during their last song so I can hear it and then we'll stay on the phone. You're not going to Facebook live it? And then I'll just be outside.

And then I'll just come pick you up. The Delphonics. Yeah, the Delonics. Yeah, the Delphonics. Sean, Jordan, it is time for your first pick. No. Okay. Strictly based on the name. Strictly Ballroom.

Strictly based on the name. That's all we're doing. I'm going to pick the Insane Clown Posse. Oh, what? Wow. I get it. I get it. Strictly based on the name.

You've got to take your heart out of it. Strictly based on the name. By the your heart out of it strictly based on the name by the way I did once pay no it's got clowns in it no way that's why it's so great it sounds interesting

I would if I just if someone's like do you want to go see this band they're called the Insane Clown Posse and I'd never heard any of their music ever

or now that I mean I once did pay to go to a show with my own money so I would I would say yes on both occasions, but I think it sounds interesting. I get it.

Somebody had to do it. The clown thing throws me off in a big way. But that's why you, that's the spectacle. I guess I'd be curious. If it's in terms of what would make me the most curious, maybe, but like, I'm curious about car accidents too, but I'm not necessarily glad to see them. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and i'm gonna fight you right down to the ground on this one

split the room if somebody we have a hung parliament yeah if somebody was like dude check out this band just based on the name i'd say no right i think you i'm not curious feelings though because you're from denver aka clown town listen that's true you're having a hard time separating all the juggalos you know in your brain not true from this neat name not true it's not that neat insane and posse i'm into it's clown not into clown i already know it's like a gimmick it's a joke are you saying you would rather see the insane posse than the insane clown posse yes that's crazy now maybe this is from experience maybe not but i would say that their live show i bet is amazing if somebody said you want to go see this band did you just say you've seen them just say their live i did uh and it is an amazing show they put on when i was in when i was in high

school in sioux falls south dakota i did once go see Insane Clubhouse. There's just something so corny about clowns. Yeah. That's like going to... As a comedian, I agree. But I'm trying... I took myself out of all situations. It's like, hey, do you want to go see the Wacky Circus Gang?

I'd be like, yes. Right after you go see the Insane Clubhouse. You would want to go see the Wacky Circus Gang. They might know each other, actually. The Wacky Circus Gang thing put me on your side, actually. Yeah, see? insane clown posse you wouldn't want to go see the wacky circus gang they might know each other actually the wacky circus gang thing put me on your side actually yeah see

I'm actually I'm no longer all you did was take insane clown posse and pick a wacker version of each one of those words I moved them all

one notch to the left the wacky circus gang god you know how funny it'd be to go up to a bunch of jugglers and be like you know it's

the wacky circus gang basically so you guys are like big fans of the wacky circus gang oh man You know how funny it'd be to go up to a bunch of jugglers and be like, you know, it's the Wacky Circus Gang, basically. So you guys are like big fans of the Wacky Circus Gang? Oh, man. That's when the hatchets come out. Yeah. Insane Clown Posse. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. They hit you with a hatchet.

So Sean takes the Wacky Circus Gang with his first pick. No, no, actually I picked the Insane Clown Posse. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. WCG. Yeah, the Wacky Circus Gang. And as it is, a Serpentine Draft. Serpentine Draft.

Okay. Means I get to go again. It's listed in your earbuds. Yeah. Now I'm going to pick Cannibal Corpse. Oh! Great.

That's the name. Yeah, you got me back. Wow. You got me back. First of all, I give a fuck if I lose all three of you on the Insane Clown Posse.

It's a solid pick. I can just smell the iTunes comments. I saw my first negative one Wow. You got me back. First of all, I give a fuck if I lose all three of you on the Insane Clown Posse. It's a solid pick. I can just smell the iTunes comments. I saw my first negative one the other day. It made me feel terrible. You read the iTunes comments? Don't read the comments. Well, Malloy sent in a text, and I felt so bad. Oh, well, whatever.

Malloy is a butthole for doing that. Shut up. I mean, if you leave us positive comments, we love you. All the comments, but I just felt so bad. We love you. But we've learned long ago not to read comments on anything.

The internet is a cruel wasteland. They call me Hannibal Burgers. Yeah. Which is actually pretty incredible. Hannibal Burgers!

If that were a band, that would have been my first pick. Hannibal Corpse. Yes, Hannibal Corpse. Just that name, I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, yeah.

Yeah, I'm in. Yeah. Yeah. It says exactly what it does on the tin. So buck. Yeah. Hey, do you want to go see? I feel like you can't even say it normal.

Like if somebody, hey, do you want to go see Cannibal Corpse? When you think of Cannibal Corpse, is it the corpse of a cannibal or the corpse a cannibal is preparing to eat? I don't know. That's how I feel about it. Well, the band's name is essentially Six Foot Party Sub. You know what I mean? Shout out to all our cannibal listeners. Just named after a food.

For them, it probably sucks. Because they're like, yeah, no, I don't want to go see roast beef. Yeah, I don't want to go see roast beef. Yeah, I think meatloaf, I guess. Yeah, okay, I Because they're like, yeah, no, I don't want to go see roast beef. Yeah, I don't want to go see roast beef. Yeah, I think meatloaf, I guess. Yeah, okay, I guess they're good. Cannibal Corpse, man, that is a hard-ass name. It's got the alliteration

that always helps. And the cuh, yeah. Cannibal Corpse. The, you know, I know they call it like the K, like the comedy K. Comedy K. Just that cuh sound

that really kicks. Also, Annabelle's a fun thing to say. Uh-huh, yeah. Annabelle. Annabelle. I'm going to name my daughter Annabelle. Annabelle. Not Annabelle. Annabelle. Annabelle, Annabelle's a fun thing to say. Uh-huh. Annabelle. I'm going to name my daughter Annabelle. Not Annabelle. Annabelle. Annabelle Smith.

Annabelle, I forbid you to go see the wacky circus gang. Not in this house. Now, as I'm looking... I don't want to say the names of some of these songs. No, I'm looking at Cannibal Corpse songs. They're so buck. Let's hear some of them.

You got some of them? Well, you already got... I already said something crass earlier. I forget what it was, but one of them there is called... You said cum gutters. Well, I'm going to say cum again. One of their songs is called I Cum Blood.

Wow. Goodness gracious. I wasn't ready for that to be what you said. It got the 3,000 chicken wing reaction from Marissa. That's a serious name for a song. As much of a song as it is a cry for help. By the way, if you do come blood, go see a doctor. I like to think the lead singer's name is Cannibal.

They're just like, Cannibal, why do you want to name it that? We don't talk about that at all in the song. The song's about your grandfather. I just don't see why we would name the song that. Listen, I understand. I've heard your opinions. I listened.

I heard the voice. I come blood. That's why I want to name the song. That's the name of the song. And I will hear nothing more. And we're going to

write it in balloon letters. I will hear nothing more. Chicken wing. And we're going to write it in, what did you say? Balloon letters. Remember when you

learned how to write balloon letters back in school? That was a big that was a big every notebook and the Stussy sign oh

the Stussy sign every I really wore that out turns out my name starts with an S so you can imagine every notebook fucking Stussy sign

E-A-N oh god damn it yeah do you guys ever try to do the other letters in a similar way yeah it never worked never worked

never ever worked do you remember the old Snoop logo where the two O's were his eyes and the P was like a dog's mouth and it had the blunt hanging out? Yeah. Back of every notebook.

Damn. It wasn't quite like that in Beaverton. And some library books? And some library books. Damn. What were you reading? Sean, you've been reading a lot. No, I've been writing the Snoop logo and library books. Somewhere in Sioux you reading? Sean, you've been reading a lot. No, I've been writing

the Snoop logo in library books. Somewhere in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Take that catcher in the rye. There's a kid where the sidewalk ends

with a Snoop dog. Let me get Grapes of Wrath and North American Field Guide to Amphibians, please. Yeah, there's a kid right now like,

holy shit, did you know Snoop Dogg were at War and Peace? And he checked it out 15 times in a row. Had to get the shading right. Cannibal Corpse. Cannibal Corpse. Yeah, excellent pick.

David Borey, it's time for your second pick. All right, I'm going to set another scene for you. All right. Damn it. It's the fall of 1997. Yeah. Portland, Oregon. I know, exactly, yeah. You start seeing an art school girl. She's the fall of 1997. Yeah. Portland, Oregon. I know.

Exactly, yeah. You start seeing an art school girl. She's real cool. Coolest girl you've ever dated. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Too cool for you. She's turning you on to things.

Absolutely. She shows you the movie Putney Swope. Whoa. You don't know what it's about, but you're into it. This girl, she's a firecracker, right? Yeah, yeah. One night, she says, I want to take you to see this band. You say, what band? She says, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam.

Whoa. You're you to see this band. You say, what band? She says, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. Whoa. You're going to win this? You're going to win this one? I'm telling stories. I love Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. Yeah. I don't even know where, like, it's such a weird grouping of words. It is.

And it's so interesting. So fun to sing. Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. Yeah. Cult? Like a baby horse? Like a cult. Like a cult. weird grouping of words it is and it's so interesting so fun to sing lisa lisa and cult jam yeah like like a baby horse like a cult like a cult like drink that kool-aid cult jam cult jam lisa lisa and cult jam cult second word jam i don't really there's not much explanation explanation. I mean, they're pretty dope. Cult Jam. It's weird that they're not the Cult Jam. No, it's just Cult Jam.

It's all kind of jarring. Lisa Lisa is a little weird. They don't seem like they should be together. No, they don't. That's exactly what it is. It does not go, it does not flow at all. That's why they belong together. Yeah, it's a force fit.

Because I feel like when you- They're stuck together. Lisa Lisa is a more apt description of who they are than Colt Jam, too. Yeah. If you see a picture also, Lisa Lisa looks very different than Colt Jam. Oh, my God. They really do. Everybody look it up.

What the fuck are these people doing together? I don't know what they're into. I don't know what they're doing. They look like extortionists. Now I'm picturing what an extortionist looks like. I think I got a pretty good image. You got to look them up on your phone. I want to be in the same page as somebody who's driving down the freeway listening right now.

They look like a beautiful woman walked in to use a pizza place's phone. Oh my God, there's a promo picture where they all look freshly showered. Wait, hold on. Can you turn that computer screen around one time? Right there. Yeah. What is going on? Oh my god.

Are they Dominicans? I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. One of them just looks like such a scummy Italian. Yeah. What a weird scene, right? That is a weird scene.

They could be up to anything one of them looks like matt barnes from the nba they look like also they could be they look like you could see them in a french restaurant absolutely or just like on a stoop they could be anywhere just like yelling holding it down holding it down hey girl hey but also and that's lisa lisa that's the thing is you think it's all cult jam, and then you remember there's also Lisa Lisa. Yeah. They're wild and not doing crazy. She's wearing like a one-feather earring, and they're playing dreidel.

None of them are Jewish. But like for money. High stakes dreidel. For stacks. Lisa Lisa and cult jam playing high stakes dreidel. This looks like the sidewalk is made out of cash. So much. Into the street. They're wild, man. That's crazy. Yeah. Anything of cash. So much. Into the street.

They're wild, man. That's crazy. Yeah. Anything can happen. Cult jam. Anything can happen, dude. Anything can happen, man. It's their world.

We're just living in it, you know? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, do yourself a favor and just Google image search. At least at least saying cult jam. Yeah. Go on a ride, friends. Wow.

They look like the band that everybody in the Warriors listens to exclusively. Yeah, to get ready. That's the Splash Boys special right there. At least they culture him. Fantastic. Hell yeah. I think they have that head to toes. I don't even know what these are.

Doesn't matter. Couldn't matter at all. We can look some videos up. Turns out I've never heard any of these bands' music. So I didn't go to an ICP show ever. I feel like the Delphonics would have to fight Lisa Lisa and Colton. That's the enemy. Yeah.

They're one of the Wasteland Marauders. Are you setting up a fucking weird, you're going to put a bow on it at the end and it turns out there are five factions that rule the world? No, I wish I was. Yeah, kid. I'm just really imagining it. Chris, you're up in tier. Time to build on the success of Shellac.

Ah, boy. Tough. This is tough. What a fun game. I'm going to say... I'm going to say... I'm going to go with A Tribe Called Quest. Oh, fuck! I was about to pick that! Of course.

It is so good. It is such a good name. We're on the same wavelength here, I think. It really is. It's so good. It's such a good name. It really is. Because you're like, what?

I want to know everything there is to know about A Tribe Called Quest. That might be why I started listening to him, for real. For real. I just looked at the name. It's just so cool. I might be why I started listening to them, for real. For real. Like the name? Is it so cool? I was like, man, that sounds fucking dope. It does sound.

It sounds like something you want to be a part of. Yes. Like you want to be able to tell your friends about a tribe called Quest. Yes. It's so dope. Well put. It's like the only thing that group could have been named. It's hard to imagine.

Well, it's crazy. You know the story behind the actual name? No. They were called Quest. They were a rap group called Quest and they did a spot on a Jungle Brothers song or something like that.

Q-Tip did and they were like, all right, so like before you rap, like, you know, give you a shout out, say who your crew is and originally he was like,

my name's Q-Tip and I'm from a crew called, I'm from a group called Quest and the guy was like, no, no, no, say you're from a tribe called Quest. Oh, God. They were from this group called Quest. And the guy was like, no, no, no. Say you're from a tribe called Quest. Oh, God.

They were from this group called Quest. So he's like, my name's Qtip, and I'm from a tribe called Quest. And from then on out, they were just like, oh, fuck. That's the name of the group. Yeah, that's so good. That's so dope. It's a tribe called Quest. Oh, damn it.

And then I like a band that you can take and call, because you just call them tribe. Yeah. Like you're in the know. Tribe. Yeah. It's dope to have a band where the The name is dope And then the Shortened version Is also Yeah

Yeah yeah Tribe is That new tribe Yeah it's a new tribe Yeah tribe is Cause nobody ever calls him Quest No No

I have to call him Tribe Cause Quest is like whack Yeah Quest is kinda whack I'm glad that that didn't go Right Like god What a different experience Yeah

I bet you it wouldn't have been I bet you nobody would have Bought that first album I don't think I don't think it would have been as, I bet you nobody would have bought that first album. I don't think, I don't think it would have been as big. Oh, that's a huge name. Quest. Just Quest?

No. Cool, I guess. Yeah, fine. Fine. All right. Okay. Thanks for the tip, Dad. Fine.

They're so great, and it's so evocative of how they sound, too. They do sound like a Tribe Called Quest. A Tribe Called Quest. I feel like that probably influenced the music. Like, after they came up with the name, I feel like the music was probably influenced a little bit by the name. Yeah. Is that a Tribe Called Quest sound I feel like that probably influenced the music. Like, after they came up with the name, I feel like the music was probably influenced a little bit by the name.

Yeah, is that a Tribe Called Quest sound? We gotta knock it out. Yeah. They're so good. Yep. Part of the whole, I mean, and being part of the whole Native Tongues clique, too. Yeah.

They really shaped the, well, they did, a few different groups that I won't name, just in case. But, yeah. The hard thing is you want to name other groups within this uh for sure i like that they're called too and not named everything fit everything fell into place perfectly i like it when the band is like when the title is so like it doesn't really make sense as a title yeah yeah always you know what i? Like a tribe called Quest shouldn't be the name of the baby. Those words never should have.

No, it shouldn't have gone together. Fell into that combination. But it's so silky smooth. It's a long name too. It is. But you don't mind the journey. You don't mind the journey. It's a fun journey.

Fun walk. It's like walking to Dairy Queen. Dairy, you call it a quest? Oh, it is a quest. It's a little side quest. Yeah, I'd call it a quest. Yeah. I is a quest. It's a little side quest. Yeah, I'd call it a quest. Yeah. I'm from the Dairy Queen tribe.

I'm going over to a store called Dairy Queen, listening to a tribe called Quest. Yeah. We're appearing on it. I'm now officially changing the name of this podcast to a podcast called All Fantasy Average. Oh, man. We're going to be major. Major. Get ready for a big bump yep listenership everybody loves that uh fantastic it's such a good name yeah it's a solid uh all right it's time for my second pick

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Rules and restrictions may apply. And I'm going to go, ooh, I'm going to go in a very different direction. I'm going to take the Velvet Underground. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds so good. It's like some, yeah, totally. I'm in. Sounds like where I want to live.

Right? Definitely. Like the inside of an opium den and a genie bottle. Absolutely. It just makes me feel warm. The Velvet Underground. It's sexy warm. Turns out I just did a bunch of acid.

So yeah, let's go to the Velvet Underground. I want to sleep there and then wake up and spend my entire day there. It's actually warm. Turns out I just did a bunch of acid. So yeah, let's go to the Velvet Underground. I want to sleep there and then wake up and spend my entire day there. Did you know where they got the name of that? Where? It's actually, the funny thing is, they were, back in the day, people hated freaks. So when the freaks were escaping from the small towns to the major cities, there were a lot of little places along that they would be like, freaks welcome on your way to San Francisco. And that was the Velvet Underground.

That was the Velvet Underground? That's also what I made up just now. Oh, did you? God, that's so good. It felt good, right? Damn it did. It felt real good. It was so good that right when you started, I was like, he's making this up.

But then by the end, I was like, that's pretty good. I thought you were going to say some bullshit about how they were just called the Underground. And then during a radio interview, somebody was like, no, call it the Velvet. I'm just going to say the same stupid story. No, say your name is Tupac. Is there one guy out there giving every band their cool name? It's actually named after a book. The Velvet Underground?

Yeah, The Velvet Underground, about sexual awakenings, which makes sense because a vagina or some kind of butt could be described as. Some kind of butt? Certain kinds of butts could be described as a Velvet Underground. Whoa. Yeah. I can't believe I never thought about that before why not all butts some butts aren't velvet on the ground some butts are not yeah some

some butts are some vaginas on it too some butts are the concrete bottom let's be honest some are the sandpaper underground some of them are alabaster hell holes there's all sorts of different... The granite backdoor. The ring of fire. Did you say the granite backdoor? Oh, boy. The brick wall guarded by Patrick Waugh. Sandstone Dungeon. Anything with junction gets me every time. But yeah, the Velvet Underground,

it sounds like exactly what it is, man. It's just like sliding into a hot tub of a band name. It's just like a cool, sexy vibe. I would go to a restaurant called the Velvet Underground, a club. Anything. Poetry reading. You want to go to the Velvet Underground later? Slam poetry.

I'd use products called Velvet Underground. Spoken word. Like Velvet Underground lotion or something. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. If there was like a casual wear. Yes. Oh, the Velvet Underground?

Yeah, suspenders even. If it was like, David, why do you smell so good? You lean in close. Oh yeah, I just went to the Velvet Underground.

Yeah, you gotta say it in like hushed tones. Oh, I use Velvet Underground. Yeah, I whisper it into you. You lean in, it's the Velvet Underground.

I would order a Velvet Underground at a bar, but no more than two of them. Holy shit, what a great name. It can be anything. Yeah, it goes into all the stuff. You know what would be funny?

Is to go to a bar and order a Velvet Underground and just like the bartender was a fucking moron if he didn't know what it was. You're like, let me get a Velvet Underground. He looks at you and like, I said a Velvet Underground. Let me get a Velvet. And then just see what they made.

What's that hipster ass bar in like, on Hyperion in LA? Little hyperion no no not little joy it's like that oh god it's like by that trader joe's kinda do you guys know what i'm talking about i know what you're talking about there's this hipster ass scene sceney ass it's like yeah it's called silver lake no yeah red lion it's not the not the Red Lion. It's on Hyperion. Anyway, if you went there and ordered a Velvet Underground, I feel like the bartender would be so embarrassed that he would just make you a drink. They'd just make you something.

And hope he was right. It'd have to have brandy in it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what is a Velvet Underground? It's just brandy. It's just brandy. It's just a cup of brandy.

When I was on... Muddled carpet brandy. When I flew to London, because of the writer's guild, they have to fly us first class, or business class anyway, which is so dope. And they just treat you so different.

It's crazy. In business? In business. I just flew to New York, and me and Dulce Sloan were on the plane. Business class is just as cool as first class. It's just as cool. First class is not that much of a jump up.

We flew Air New Zealand, LA to London direct. My seat turned into a straight up bed. Oh, man. I slept six hours. It was the best sleep I got on the entire trip. But I'm going to bring it up. It's like the Velvet Underground of plane rides. It is kind of.

You're kind of there in a Velvet Underground. They walked around and they were like, after dinner, which was delicious, by the way, and came on a plate with silverware. Damn.

Yeah. They were like, do you care for a glass of port? Yeah. And I was like, I don't even know what port is. In my head, I'm like,

you just say yes. And I was like, of course I want some port. Look at me. And they, yeah, it was delicious. What is it?

It's a very sweet dessert wine. It was fantastic. Yeah. But I'd never had port before. And port is a velvet It's a very sweet dessert wine. Oh. It was fantastic, yeah. But I'd never had port before. And port is a Velvet Underground-esque thing to drink. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah.

For sure. It was good. I also, when I think Velvet Underground, I don't know why, I just think about a man in a top hat with a lantern guiding you through. Oh. And he says, mind the velvet, governor. And he just takes you through some type of hallway. Mind the velvet, governor! And he just takes you through some type of hallway. Mind the velvet? Yeah.

Mind the velvet? Step lively and mind the velvet, young David. Come on, now. Hep, hep, hep. Come, come, David, they're expecting you. Velvet's everywhere. Mustn't trifle in the velvet underground. There'll be plenty of time to explore its velveteen walls upon your return.

But we must move quickly, for the Delphonics and a tribe called Quest await on the other side. God damn it. It all points to David Witten. A tribe is sharpie, though. A tribe is sharpie. A tribe is sharpie. And Velvet Underground

is like good for everything It's pretty good Yeah I got a couple stunt casts in mind so we'll see That is a universally great name

So moving on to my third pick So Monsher or Velvet Underground I'll take Velvet Underground Velvet Underground please Next pick Moving on to my next pick this one's tough

Alright I'm gonna take them just cause I'm just gonna ride the Velvet Underground wave I'm on right now and I'm gonna pick I'm gonna take them just because i'm just gonna ride the uh the velvet underground wave i'm on right now and i'm gonna pick i'm gonna pick perfume perfume genius perfume genius perfume genius perfume genius yeah it's a fun name perfume i've never heard him before and i want to now right he's I like Perfume Genius. A lot. He's fantastic, too. Some of these bands are going to get, like, I don't know,

1,000 YouTube hits whenever this drops. They'll be like, I need to check out Perfume Genius. Check out Queen by Perfume Genius. It's so good. I'm trying to picture what a Perfume Genius looks like in my brain, and my brain is going nuts. I can't even settle on one look. Once I show you a picture of perfume genius, you're going to be like, oh, yep, exactly.

But I know what you mean. Hold on one second. I'm picturing Justin Guarni in the Dr. Pepper commercials. Incorrect. I'm thinking of like a double-breasted sharkskin suit. No shirt underneath. Yeah. That's a little closer.

I'm feeling like it's one of those silly big brimmed hats. Oh, yeah. Of course that's the perfume genius. Perfume genius looks a little bit like Andrew Michon, our friend and stand-up comedian. He might be a perfume genius. He might be a perfume genius. And a perfume genius is somebody whose sense of smell is so refined

that they would work in perfume and be like, this needs more hollyhock or less lilac. Whoa. Yeah. Oh, so it's like a real thing? It's a real thing. Oh, wow. And this guy's music is amazing. It's powerful, really kind of dramatic pop music.

It's really good. Today's fucking me up. Is that one of those songs that you might play and I'm like, I just don't ask you what it is, but I'm like, this is dope. I've definitely played it. That don't you know your queen yeah yeah and it goes like we're listening on the way back i'll tell you that right now you know the crazy part is i woke up today not knowing that i was gonna have to write a short story about a perfume genius yeah i have to yeah yeah i it's like that's like the most interesting thing I've ever heard.

Isn't it? Perfume, fuck, man. You can just be a perfume genius. There's so many. God, that life, what that life is. Right? What a lush life. Jeez, I don't even know what it's like.

Dude. Oh, my God. We're not supposed to. How much do you get paid? What does his house smell like? Does he have sex with boys or girls or some combo? Everything. He fucks everything.

When you're a perfume genius, you fuck everything. And you know what cardamom smells like, right? You could pick cardamom out of a lineup like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You could probably, like, this cinnamon is from India and this cinnamon is from Indonesia, and you know the difference between the two.

Oh, dude, just moving through the world if I was a perfume genius? That'd be a life. That'd be real. I'd be like, a plane's going to crash. Do you know what your shop would be called if you were a perfume genius? I have no idea. The Velvet Underground.

Yes! Yes! Perfume genius is so good. It's just elegant. It's indulgent. I love it. It's so indul good. It's just elegant. It's indulgent. I love it. It's so indulgent. It's rich.

Yeah. It's like... If I'm stressed, I'm calmed down now. Yeah. Perfume Genius. Perfume Genius chills me out. Too beautiful words together. Perfume Genius gets me on my toes.

Yeah. Sure. Fuck, that's a good name. Perfume Genius has a coat with tails. Uh-huh. You know. Perfume Genius. Perfume Genius has a coat with tails. Perfume Genius. Perfume Genius. Not afraid to wear a boa.

Not afraid at all. No, not at all. Afraid not to wear a boa. Sometimes afraid not to wear a boa. God, fuck. Is that a belt? No, it's a boa. A live boa constrictor.

But also still feathered. I trust it enough to hold up my pants and nothing else. The snake from off bites me. I'm a perfume genius. A feathered serpent. Fuck, man. All right, Sharpie. I wasn't ready for that.

I know, perfume genius, baby. I wasn't ready for that. Yeah. Man, that was good. I'm all over the place. I made too big of a list. ICP is already taken, so. Oh, dang it.

Wacky Circus Gang is still available. Yes. Oh, I got some dank ones coming up. I'm excited. All right. I've decided. I've decided on King Tuff. Oh, King Tuff.

Is it T-U-F-F? It's T-U-F. T-U-F? Yeah. All right. All right. That's a Jamaican band, King Tuff. Is it T-U-F-F? It's T-U-F. T-U-F? Yeah. All right, all right. That's a Jamaican band, yeah? Yes. Yeah.

That's all you want to be is King Tuff. They are not a Jamaican band. No, but they sound like it. Really? No. Why did I think that was Jamaican? Isn't it just a dude? No, it might be just a dude, but he definitely has a band.

Oh, no, it's a band. It's actually what a second grader calls the first bully they meet. Yeah. Well, who do you think you are, King Tuff? Exactly. Well, guess what? I'm cool, too. I curate four books last summer, and I can tie my shoes,

and I don't care if you're mean to me. Yeah, because my name is OmniHelmo. OmniHelmo. They say something really evil. OmniHelmo. Your mom's having an affair, King Tuff. I love it. It also sounds like something a brassy lady would say in a movie from the 50s.

Like, wow, look who walked in. It's King Tuff himself. Pull the trigger, King Tuff. If you've got the stones. If that's what makes you a man, go ahead, King Tuff. Fine. You'll reek like liquor, King Tuff. King Tuff always smells like liquor.

So bad. So bad. You smell like a gin-soaked sailor, King Tuff. If you think I'm letting you anywhere near my boudoir, you've got another thing coming. King Tuff's not even looking at her. What? King Tuff is fine. King Tuff just lit even looking at her. What? King Tuff is fine.

King Tuff just lit the third cigarette. He has two in his mouth already. Yeah, he's got four cigars in his pocket. His hand's like a harmonica. There's no way I'm getting in that car with you, King Tuff. Are you going to get in or are you going to walk? I'm not one of those fast ladies you're used to, King Tuff. I have standards.

Well, if you can't deal with that, then maybe you should find yourself another date to the dance. Have fun getting a Syracuse on your feet, sweetheart. He just slams on the gas. That's so good. Oh, man. King Tuff definitely dies

in a hot rod going around a curve too fast. Yeah, he used to. For sure. Now it's King Tuff's curve. King Tuff's curve. King Tuff dies by his own hands. Yeah, absolutely. No one kills King Tuff.

And you know what he says before he dies? Fuck it. Then he pulls the trigger or whatever. Or whatever. Fuck it. Then he smashes his or whatever. Or whatever. Fuck it. Then he smashes his face with a bowling ball. Oh, my God. I smoked it to the filter.

Fuck it. King Tuff definitely smokes it to the filter. Oh, dog. He smokes life to the filter. If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room. King Tuff's motto. King Tuff. 1987. King Tuff. 1987, the question mark.

I feel like we could start a t-shirt line, like, no fear, but it's King Tuff. King Tuff. Would it be like with the big dog, where he's just doing lots of different stuff? Oh, yeah. Could be. Like, King Tuff's gin. If you can't run with King Tuff, stay on the porch. Yeah.

Stuff like that. Every time King Tuff plays cards, he gets dealt the Joker. Every time. There's a good chance he has a Joker tattoo as well. I think he does. He has a Joker tattoo. Oh, yeah. I don't have an ace up my sleeve, baby, but at least I got this.

King Tuff was only wrong once, and that's because he thought he was wrong. Yeah. Yeah, I love King Tuff was only wrong once, and that's because he thought he was wrong. Yeah. Yeah, I love King Tuff. King Tuff doesn't wake up. He's just always awake. Always awake. Always awake. We should invite King Tuff to Chicken Wings after this.

We should. Yeah. King Tuff doesn't watch a mango habanero. He'll come with us when he sits at his own table. He's not eating Chicken Wings. He's chewing up glasses of Budweiser. Oh, no. He's got a chicken wings. He's chewing up glasses of Budweiser. Oh no, he's got a,

oh God, what is that steak called? He eats duck wings. He only eats grub steaks. Oh God! He has a grub steak and a glass of gin.

Eats them, eats the wings, eats some bones in them all. Yeah. One bite. He just pops them like the Ritz's. He's never heard music.

He's a serious man. And doesn't care to. Doesn't see the point for it. King Tuff was hatched. He wasn't born. He's never heard music. He's never. If King Tuff's knife comes out, it has to taste blood before it gets put away.

Yeah, I love King Tuff. Yeah, that's so good. Gotta have him on your side. Holy crap. Oh, man. He is Louise and a bottle of peas, my friend. Another King Tuff, another person for the Delphonics to try to stop, and they won't. Oh, they won't.

They can't. They can't. You can't stop King Tuff. Who do you think turned the earth into a barren wasteland? Speaking of Delphonics, David Borey, it's time for your third pick. All right. This one is a little low key. Okay.

It's 1991. Yep. You're a young boy, 12 years old. Yep. You live in Iowa City, Iowa. You got a paper route. You're saving up your money, trying to get some cool stuff. Yeah. It's a weird time in the world. You know, we're in Desert City, Iowa. You got a paper route. You're saving up your money trying to get some cool stuff. Yeah.

It's a weird time in the world. You know, we're in Desert Storm. Yeah. Tipper Gore is telling us just say no to drugs. There's this new wave of drugs hitting the street. You don't know anything about it. You live in suburbia. But you want to shake up your world.

You want to shake up this little town. You go to the local record store. You're digging through the crates. You see a record. You pull it out. What is this? Leftover crack. Whoa. Oh, yes. record store you're digging through the crates you see a record you pull it out what is this leftover crack whoa yes a solid pick a dope band oh man great name i feel like that band has changed people's lives because they're named that yeah like people just saw that and then they took the

right turn yeah into whatever their life was either away or. Either away or to. Yeah, leftover crack. They know right away. That's a decisive name. They're either listening or not. Dude, that name is making decisions. Yeah. You know what I love about leftover crack is there's never leftover crack. Yeah, I think that's sort of beautiful in its own quiet way. That means you have so much crack to have leftover crack.

You have to have so much. It means you smoked so much crack. Yeah. You're either sober or dead if there's leftover crack. The only way that there's leftover crack is if someone died. Yeah. That's their lift. That's the only way.

Leftover crack. I just like how jarring it is. Oh, man. You can't just say that without somebody. If you say that on the bus, people are going to start listening to what you're saying. Mom, I want to go to the leftoverover Crack show tonight at the pop room. Is that okay? Absolutely not.

You're grounded. You're grounded. We don't know how long yet. Until Leftover Crack isn't a band anymore, you're grounded. And they broke off of another band, which had also a cool name, which I'll say because I don't think anyone's going to take it. But they were made up from members of a band called Choking Victim. Oh, God. Great name. Gnarly. Which is also a dope name dude these guys i like i fuck with leftover crack for real they're good my roommate like had an album

shout out to real key 30 uh catch y'all on tour soon right yeah yeah catch us on tour uh tour occasion 17 to come up it's gonna be great uh, no, I just think that it's like the coolest name ever. Great name. It's just, I don't know what they're into. Anything can happen with Leftover Crack. They're into crack. Leftover Crack, yeah. Well, there's another band, yeah, where it's like, when you hear it, you're like, oh, this

band had to be Leftover Crack. Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Of course. Like, they couldn't have named it anything else. Don't they have songs about killing cops? Yeah. Yeah, they're big into that scene.

Yeah, that's their whole movement. That and saving drugs. They started the whole save the drugs movement. Excellent pick, Sean Jordan. It is time to build on Insane Clown Posse and Cannibal Corpse time for your third and then a fourth pick

so for third pick we're going Cradle of Filth ooh great name I do enjoy it I believe that's what my dad called me

and that's why he left when I was six months old Jesus Christ Sean Jordan fuck man I thought you were gonna make a vagina joke stay there for this

Cradle of Filth good god a vagina joke. Stay away from this cradle of filth. Good God. A vagina joke? Yeah, really. What am I, a fucking lunatic? That's a lunatic thing? Yeah.

You call it the cradle of... David, put your shirt on. Yes, it is a lunatic thing. I don't think that's that crazy of a vagina joke. Cradle of filth is... That gets me in right away. I'm in there like swimwear when I hear that name. Because it's a vagina. It is not.

Okay, fine. Will somebody come to my rescue on this? A Cradle of Filth? I don't think of it as a vagina. I don't think that's a crazy jump, though, for me to make. Well, I'll tell you what Cradle of Filth is. That's how I would describe my bedroom in my early 20s. It's kind of a Cradle of Filthth where there's just like there's definitely like an

empty little caesars pizza box yeah dirty clothes in it and just like a cup full of kool-aid that's been there so long it's molded yeah yeah moldy kool-aid in the windowsill it's funny how quick you can convince yourself like i don't know how dirty that shirt really is and then just throw it on even though it was just in a pizza box yeah even though it's like two weeks there's a pepperoni on it you're like i'm good yeah well the cheese was dry i mean i want to wear it i want to wear it now yeah you know i am going to bowling alley a job interview that's my one shirt with buttons on it yeah like i do try to get this job at Puka to Beppo. I do find it curious, David, that Cradle of Filth can be mistaken for the Velvet Underground.

It can both be. It's two descriptions. I have a two-track mind. You do? I just think Cradle of Filth's a dank name. It's a dank name. It's a dank name. It's definitely scary. And to me personally, it's perfect because I do not like that band. Love that name.

I love their cover of Sands of Time. Don't even know it because I don't like that band so much. I don't want to name another band. When I was in middle school and going into high school, my best friend was this guy Brandon Carroll. Shout out to Brandon Carroll. this guy, Brandon Carroll. And he went hard. Shout out to Brandon Carroll. He went hard.

Shout out to Brandon Carroll. He went hard metal. Hard black metal. Yeah, dude. Like those bands where you can't even read, their logo's so crazy you can't even read

what the name is. It's like all German. Yeah. Comes from the bay. And he went like hard into Cradle of Filth and I tried to go with him because he was like my best friend.

It's a tricky. And he lost me there, man. That's a tricky road. He lost me in Cradle of Filth. That's gotta be in you no i'm not gonna drive my audi a4 down this crazy bumpy gravel road i'm just not gonna do it we both had such pleasant suburban upbringings and his parents were still together so it was like what's going on with you where you feel like you need to channel this bud sometimes you gotta import it yeah you gotta import the struggle listen to a A Tribe Called Quest with me.

Cradle of Filth's way too buck to actually listen to, but the name, I dig. They had that song, From the Cradle to Enslaved. They were one of those bands where was it two singers or was it just one guy who had an insane voice?

I think it's just the one dude who had the crazy voice. They would roar sing. The voice is so cool, though. It's such a cool voice. I mean, I think it's just the one dude who had the crazy voice. They would roar sing. The voice is so cool, though. It's such a cool voice. It's so cool. He sounds like Starscream a little bit.

The music. Yeah, he does. The music isn't that thick. Dang, we're not talking about the music. No, no, we're talking about the name.

Cradle of Filth. And your fourth pick. I'm with that. I'm with that a lot. This is a this is a it's a bold choice um but i'm gonna pick prince when he was the symbol oh oh shit oh man sean joy just leveled up game changer watch out america that's a good damn dude you're just like wait what's the name of the band well you gotta come over i gotta show Game changer. Watch out, America. Fuck, that's a good song. That's so great. You're just like, wait, what's the name of the band? Well, you got to come over.

I got to show you. Yeah. I can't. I'd love to tell you over the phone. Connect to Wi-Fi. I can't. Yeah. Do you have Snapchat?

Can I Snapchat you this? I'd love to tell you the name of the band, but you're going to have to come over. And you got to see the name of the band. How did he going to have to come over and you're going to see the name of the band. How did he refer to himself during that period? Wasn't there a name for him? He just called himself the artist formerly known as Prince. The artist formerly known as Prince. And he was just that symbol. Did they ever make up a name for that symbol?

The love symbol. Is that what it's called? That's what he called it, yeah. Okay. No, he made it up. God, that's cool. What a fucking gangster. Wasn't it kind of basically like a base clef with a cross on top?

Kind of, yeah. It had like an arrow. Oh, no, it's more than that. It's supposed to look like both the gender signs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. With some Prince flourishes on it. Imagine being Prince's PR person, being like, dude, you're doing so well.

Well, it was a money thing. It was a money thing. Well, it was a money thing. It was the money thing. Well, it was a money thing. It was to fuck over Warner Brothers. The record label, right? Yeah. By the way, do you see the police coming? Warner Brothers.

Check your local t-shirt store. They got it. They got it. Go to a hot... Oh, God. Wildly off topic, but this is so funny. Speaking of t-shirts. Oh, yeah.

I needed a belt yesterday, and we go to the mall, and Ian's like, he goes, I'll Wildly off topic, but this is so funny. Speaking of t-shirts. Oh, yeah. I needed a belt yesterday. And we go to the mall and Ian's like, he goes, I'll buy you a belt, but it has to be from Hot Topic. Yes. So we went in and there wasn't even a close option for me to like excuse in public. Not even loosely something I could wear. Anyway, just a real tan. Yeah, yeah.

Everything had so many loops and like studs. Princess pants. They all look like cradle of fil real tan. Yeah, yeah. Everything had so many loops and like studs. Prince's pants. They all looked like cradle of filth belts. Yeah, dude. Like shit that IC people would wear like, IC people. ICP people would wear like around their head. Yeah. ICPP.

Wacky circus gang. Wacky circus gang. Yep. Prince when he was the symbol. I'm glad that you guys were feeling that. I was worried this morning. No, I'm fully feeling it. Feeling it hard. I was worried this morning. Feeling at heart.

I was worried this morning if that was going to be like you know. Like ICP? Stop. Stop right there. I don't know if you've ever I don't know if you were ever 16 in Sioux Falls, South Dakota and left with a t-shirt drenched in Faygo and never washed it and had to end up throwing it away because it stunk your whole room up.

I have. Best live show I've ever seen. And I separated that music from the title. Best live show I've ever seen. And I separated that music from the title. Best live show you've ever seen? That and another band that might not... I'm not going to say. Was it the Kaiju? Stop. Stop. I wasn't serious. That was the best live band I've ever seen.

Chris has seen them. They're cool guys. They're pretty cool. Real loud. You know who's cool, guys? You three. Thanks, man. You're a cool guy, too. Thank you. That was number four. David Borean, it's time for your fourth pick.

This one is just a feeling. I just always wanted to know what this was about. Never looked up the band. Don't know any of the songs. Death Cab for Cutie What an interesting name What's going on there I don't know

I like to think of a mafia guy Like Pauly And he's like yeah my side piece She snitched to the cops So I'm gonna get a Death Cab But I don't know what it is I don't understand anything about it. Wasn't there a singer,

God damn it, I don't want to say something stupid. I might as well just stop talking until I die and then I guess. I was gonna,

what I was going to say, and here I'll just say it. I was gonna say, wasn't there a singer, the lead singer for My Chemical Roam? Shit. I didn't mean to say

another band. Oh, that's fine. I don't know. Should I just leave? Should I get out ofam? Shit. Nope. I didn't mean to say another band. Oh, that's fine. Should I just leave? No, buddy. Please stay. Somebody else talk for a second. I really just blew it right there. He is the lead singer for another band. Does anybody know

Death Cab for Cutie Saw? It just sounds so interesting. What are they like? Here's how much I'll agree with you about their name being cool, that I was like, I got to check these guys out. And then I was like, I don't like these guys. It's soft, buddy. It's real soft.

It's real soft. Real soft. Like Screamo? No. Like Emo. Emo. Like a guy just talking about getting his heart broken. What?

For like 100 songs in a row. But they have such a cool name. Ben Gibbard. Yay. They're like really good if that's the kind of music that you like. Like if a friend of the program, Shane Torres, if he were to start a band and write about his

breakup about five years ago. Oh, I understand. That situation. Okay, I get it. I haven't ripped on Shane yet, so I just figured I'd throw it in. Like an example of their song, like, Love of mine, someday you will die. But I'll be close behind. I'll follow you into the dark.

I fuck with it. I like it. I can tell, by the way, at first you were singing it like it was a joke. Yeah, yeah. And then it wasn't a joke all of a sudden. The blinding lights or tunnels to gates of white. Just our hands clasped so tight. Waiting for the hint of a spark.

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied. Man, it's good. It's good music if you really feel like being real soft. For the listeners, Death Cab for Cutie wasn't actually the answer. No, that was the answer. That was actually just Ian. That was was actually just the host of the podcast who's starting a new podcast where he just sings death cap for cutie songs it's for people with asmr this is also a topic i just was thinking about this the other day and i wanted to ask you this? This is also off topic. I just was thinking about this the other day and I wanted to ask you. Have you ever called yourself Carmelionaire?

No. May way. Have I? Because I remember Rich Homie Carms. Rich Homie Carms. Sweet baby Carms. I wonder if he said Carmelionaire. Mendocino Carms.

Neil Carms Strong. Carmel Corn. Have you ever done that? No. No Carm, no Fal. Yeah. That's a good one. What is it right now?

Carms and Noble. Lady Carmelade. Lady Carmelade. We just draft our favorite nicknames for you. Yeah, that's the next week. When I was dating Amanda Armstrong, shout out to Amanda, our couple name was perfect. I mean, it didn't work out, but Carmstrong? Carmstrong's really good. Dude out to Amanda. Our couple name was perfect, but it's too bad. I mean, it didn't work out, but Carmstrong? Carmstrong's really good.

Dude, Carmstrong. That sounded like it was gonna last. Yeah, I know. Just based on the Carmstrong. Yeah, just based on the couple name. So the name Death Cab for Cutie is, he took the band name from the song Death Cab for Cutie, written by Neil Inyes and Vivian Stanshall, and

performed by their group, the Bonzo Dog Doodah Band. Well, there goes my next pick. Bonzo Dog Doodah Band, which is from the Magical Mystery Tour, the Beatles film. That's so tight. Bonzo, so yeah, I don't know what a

death cab is, but it's for Cutie. What a fun thing that would be to write a song and be like, let's write a hit song and then name the band. Yeah. Like, after we know that we're probably going to be all right, just, God, that'd be a fun little hang session. Bonzo Dog, Doodah Band.

Get fucked up and name the band? It would be. Yeah, Death Cab. Or not get fucked up, I guess, but whatever. So hit me up on Twitter if you want me to call you and sing other Death Cab for Cutie songs. I'll do it. Hit me up if you want me to sing you the Bodyguard soundtrack.

We're all available. Not a problem. On the house. Not a problem. Chris Charpentier, it's time for your fourth pick. Okay, I'm pretty surprised this one didn't get taken already. I don't know why, just because they're such a big band. But Radiohead.

Oh! Yep. I feel like that's just a good name for a band. It is a good name. It's a solid, boring, not feeling it. Doesn't excite you. It sounds, the name is as boring as the music to me. Oh, you like Radiohead?

I don't, that doesn't do it. Come on. All right, that's fine. What do you want? I don't know. Have you? What do you want from me? I'm going to do the Radiohead fan thing

and be like, there's a couple songs I should play for you. We can do that over wings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just can't. It's not wing music, unfortunately. Have you heard of the song Idiotech? No.

You might like that one. It just sounds like background music to me. Yeah. Some of it... It's like music. Some of it's very ambient, but some of it... I don't know why I'm sticking.... You know what? It's not about

sticking up for Radiohead. It's about the name. It's about the name. Thank you. Also, the name sounds background to me, too. You know what it sounds like? What? It sounds like the band... This is a hard line. It sounds like a band they would listen to on Doug.

Do you know what I'm talking about? I know what you're saying. Me and Patty Mayonnaise are going to go listen to Radiohead with my one fucking outfit. That's what it sounds like to me. It's like the fucking beats. I'd rather listen to the beats than Radiohead. Radiohead.

Wow. Shout out Killer Tofu. That's awesome. Well. Now it sucks because now I hate Radiohead. Well, then why do you like Radiohead? What do you want to defend it from this assault? Yeah, thank you.

Thank you. Jesus Christ. Now, when I think of... Let me set a scene for you. Does that work? If I set a scene? You're 17. You're in your bedroom.

Okay, so when you think of music, all music, it's, you know, it's radio, baby. It's coming from the radio. These guys have all the music ever all stuck in their head. Radio head. It's all the music ever.

You know what, David? I think that's stupid and boring. You started off your first pick with the year 2047. Yeah, like a boss. When I was in middle school.

I feel like Radiohead could be in the future. I feel like I'm also not separated. I don't know what it is about radio. Just something about it just turns me off. You're having trouble separating it. It's not just the music. The name turns me off. When I was in middle school, my friend CJ and I,

he was going to call this girl Jamie that he had a huge crush on, and we debated for about a half hour on whether or not he should have Radiohead playing in the background or Alanis morissette playing in the background oh my god and what do you do we're like we went with radio head creep which no and what he did he leaned over towards the radio like while it was playing and was on the phone talking to her on the radio not even like no it was it was a tape but like we just in our minds were like she has to think that we're listening to dope music all the time.

Of course. Like, loud as fuck in the house. What a bunch of cowherds. Oh, hey, you caught me while I was listening to Radiohead. And he called her, by the way. Oh, shit, I forgot to turn Radiohead down before I called you. Oh, hey, sorry. That's all it was in junior high school, talking to girls on the phone, though.

I remember, like, flexing. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, yeah, sorry, That's all it was in junior high school, talking to girls on the phone, though. I remember, like, flexing. Like, oh, yeah, sorry, I was bumping country grammar. What's going on, Casey? No, yeah, catch me giving a fuck what my mom thinks about my music. No big deal. Yeah, this is unedited. Shirts pressed under your door so you can listen to it louder. My t-shirt says parental advisory.

I smoked a whole cigarette once. To the dome. I smoked a whole cig to the dome. I'm sorry about Radiohead. Radiohead. Mixed reviews. I'm okay with it. I'm all right with your objection to it.

It's for the listeners to decide. Yeah, it's more like Radiohead over there. Radiohead. Huh? What do you mean? Listen, man, I don't hate that many things. That's just one. I don't know.

I didn't even know I felt like that until you said it, to be honest with you. Well, guess what? I'm going to feel that way no matter what your next question is. Just get ready for it. Get ready to be handed on. That's fair. All right. It's time for my fourth pick

and then my final pick. I feel like we could do this one for another time. I have such a long list. Nobody has picked shit on my list. I'm excited for my closer. So for my fourth one, I'm going to take one of the rare just individuals who I think has a dope name.

I love it. And the man is, I'm picking Johnny Cash. Oh, nice. It's because it could be any genre. It could be. And in fact, country makes the least amount of sense. And it's the thing he's the best at. It sounds like a rapper.

Johnny Cash sounds like a rapper sounds like a rapper sounds like a smooth-ass r&b artist like miguel if miguel's name was johnny cash you'd be like fuck yeah like a jazz drummer jazz guy yeah oh yeah cash any like a hair metal that could have been a name for literally anybody oh my god he could have been in poison he could have been in poison johnny cash from poison fucking Johnny Cash. Flash Medallion, Nikki Sixx, and Johnny Cash, dude. I'm going to that show. Save that for the band's part, too.

They could all play the music. Oh, damn. They could all play the music that they currently play or whatever. I'd still go to that show. Still go, yeah. Johnny Cash is like,

it's just solid. It's so solid. It's so cool sounding. It would be such a dope nickname if there wasn't a Johnny Cash but you had a friend named Johnny. Oh my God. Who's going to be at the party?

Dave, Sean, and oh, Johnny Cash is going to be there. Oh shit, I love it. No one's ever called him Johnny. The one dude that just called him Johnny got his teeth knocked out with a brick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have to call him Johnny Cash.

Johnny Cash. I feel like I can do a decent, hello, I'm Johnny Cash. I can do old Johnny Cash a little bit. Old Johnny Cash? Just for the listeners at home, that wasn't Johnny Cash that was in here. There's a man going around taking names.

You know, that actually was Johnny Cash. That was Johnny Cash. That's not like Johnny Cash. I'll take the moons over my head. You think that's what he would eat? I can't even start to try to do it. I thought he would be a Rudy Tootie fresh and fruity guy I'll take the Rudy I lost it

hello I'm Johnny Cash Rudy Tootie fresh and fruity hold the fruity hold the fruity hold the fruity you sound like Hank Hill and Johnny Cash

I think I think that's where they got Hank Hill is Johnny Cash yeah probably a little bit yeah but Johnny Cash that's where they got Hank Hill. Is Johnny Cash? Yeah. Probably a little bit. Yeah, but Johnny Cash. That's a name for all seasons.

It's so cool. Great name. It's a fucking dang ass name. The man in black. It's like black clothing. It's always going to be cool, man. Johnny Cash. Fuck, that's rad.

Yeah. That's a great pick. And tough to pull it off with just a name. Just a name. I had to have just a name on there. I understand. Wait, are we on and i think that's my fifth pick and i'm nervous about it should be i'm nervous about it should be it's because i'm gonna take all right because i'm taking a band that starts with uh insane it's already taken it starts with insane and ends with clown posse. Taking a band whose name begins with an ellipsis.

Great. I don't even. And you will know us by the trail of the dead. That's a fucking name. Their band's name is dot, dot, dot, and you will know us by the trail of the dead. Yeah, that goes hard. That's a good name. What's before the ellipses, do you think?

They both cheated on me. A whole story. Like a lot. Like 60,000 words. Like a vigilante of justice. Casey Jones memoirs. Yeah, somebody killed their wives and families and they banded together.

It's definitely the end of a speech. That could be the end of the movie Tombstone. Or like the end of a manifesto. The Trail of the Dead. And you will notice be the end of the movie Tombstone. Or like the end of a manifesto. The Trail of the Dead. And you will notice by the Trail of Dead it's such a dope name. God, that's epic.

Yeah. What kind of music is it? Beowulf could end like that. It's kind of like... Beowulf could end... They're like a rock band. They're like kind of an alternative,

moodier, sort of dark rock band, right? I mean, that's the right way to describe them. They're still around. They have some good songs, too.

Sure. They have some long droning stuff, some shit like Shane Torres might listen to if he was a little bit cooler. Yeah, but he's never gonna be. No, he's not. Fucking wack ass. I always thought Shane Torres

listened to like the Beach Boys. Yeah. No. Explosion. Well, I don't want to name. Shane used to, that was rude of me to do what I just did. What were you gonna say?

No. No, go ahead. I like that you guys are stepping on toes to bag on Shane he would play some whack shit in his room like some crazy

screamy emo shit then he'd hop in the shower and start playing like some different crazy screamy shit and he'd be like Shane he'd leave the music on

we'd have to be listening to like it felt like a slow-mo football scene from Friday Night Lights was happening in his room. God, I love him so much. I love him so much. We love you, Shane.

Clean the ranch dressing out of your beard if you're listening to this. You have an album now. I like it. It went great, right? The album recordings? Holy crap.

Of course it did. I get to tell you guys this. So the, bless her heart, the host, she was fantastic, but just a momentary slip. One of the shows, she goes, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your headliner, Sean Torres.

And I just in the back, clutch fist, like, yes, dude. Yes. It was hilarious. It's me, Sean Torres. Because I bet you that's the last thing he wanted to happen. Of course. That's great. God, I love you, Shane.

I love you so much. He's going to be here in a couple weeks. I know, I'm excited. And I'm going to be in New York. I can't wait to see him. Oh, wow. Damn, a lot of Shane. Yeah, a lot of Shane for me.

A lot of Shane. Can't get enough. It's so Shane. Yeah, and you will know us by the trail of the dead. It begins with an ellipsis, so you get to fill in what happened before. I like that. It's a pick your own adventure band. It's a pick your own adventure band name.

Yeah, I like that. All you know is that they're gonna kill a lot of people that's pretty much all you're gonna know about what if they might kill you if they what if they like outran the napalm and like they're the ones that made it you will know it's by the trail of the dead oh we didn't kill anybody but there's a lot of dead people back there they're they're survivors i like it yeah and you will know it's by the trail of death. That'd be some terrifying shit to see scrawled into a tree. Dude. Yeah.

Or like tatted on somebody's chest. Oh my God. With the ellipses. Yeah. With the ellipses. With the ellipses. Oh shit. You'd have to explain

to the tattoo artist what an ellipses is. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I could do that. They know all the punctuation. Yeah. They're out here giving upside down

semicolons and shit. They know about it. I don't even know if that's a thing. I think an upside down semicolon will just look like a regular semicolon.

You want to fucking fight me? Yes, I do. So bad. After that radio has been looking for anything. I see that fight

going one way. King Tuff's knife is out. You know what happens when that knife comes out. Actually, that's who they're talking about is King Tuff's knife is out. You know what happens when that knife comes out. King Tuff. Actually, that's who they're talking about

is King Tuff. You will know him when I throw him to bed. My band's name is about your band. Dope. I feel like King Tuff, whenever he butters toast,

he does it with a broadsword. That's the only tool he uses for anything. When he's shellacking a bookshelf so that's my final pick Sharpen it's time for your final pick building on the success of Radiohead alright

I didn't mean to get that mad no it's good it's good I'm gonna boy I feel like I'm going to... Boy. I feel like I'm letting down so many bands. I know.

I did too. So many bands. Yeah, we'll have a speed round. Oh, God. Okay, I'm going to go for my official number five final pick, Ugly Casanova. Oh, that's so good. Fuck, that's good. I completely forgot about that. Yeah, that's good. I completely forgot about that.

Yeah, that's great. It's Isaac Brock, right? Isn't it his? One of his? Yeah. It's got everything you want to know about. It is. It's a great...

I want to Google it. I feel like there's a million people I have met in my life who I would classify as an ugly Casanova. Absolutely. Are you one of those dudes who thinks every other dude is ugly except for himself? What? No. Are those real people? You never knew dudes who think everybody's ugly?

Not really. I think everybody is beautiful. Yeah, I think everybody's got their own thing. But that's not what we're talking about. No, we're not. I mean, if you need to handle this, you can handle it. There are some people who think, I've met those people.

You know what I'm talking about? Who won't admit that other dudes are really handsome? Yeah, they're like, oh, fucking Brad Pitt. Oh, no, no, no. Certainly not. I like embracing the older I get, not the older I get. Now it's just, I can do it. Like, if somebody is attractive, if an animal is attractive,

I'm like, that's a good-looking animal right there. Like a tiger, a lot of sinew you know all right all right the reason i wore mesh shorts you think there's ever been a handsome moose i don't think so that might be the ugliest mainstream animal the moose it's up Big ass, big ass antler camel. They're so big though. I feel like, you know how there's like ladies who just like tall dudes?

Yeah. I just like big animals. I think it's just beautiful because it's big. King Tuff rides a moose. Yeah, he does. Yeah. I was recently,

I recently laid with a woman the way a man lays with a woman. And she, like the big selling point was how small I made her feel, which is great. Yeah. I love that.

The more ways I can figure out how to be dope, the better. That's what this whole game is. The more I can learn about unlocking my secret code. Yeah, yeah. You know? I can offer that.

So now I puff myself up when I'm around people. Posture. Posture. Straight back. Yeah, peacock. Chest out. You know King Tuff wears a live chinchilla coat?

I heard about that. It's just a bunch of chinchillas? Who volunteer on the job. They're not even sewn together. They just obey. They just stick together because of his will? Chinchillas! Say that again like you just said it.

Chinchillas! They scurry up him. Yeah! He just stands naked in the middle of the room. Yeah. That's another thing that we could run down to Skid Row and just have you do. Just walk down the middle of the street. Chinchillas!

Chinchillas! I don't know if I want what that will detract. I may have told this story on the podcast before. But I'm sorry for selling out one of my dear, dear friends. But I had a buddy in, I won't say his name, but I had a buddy in high school who wanted us to start calling him Ugly Casanova. Really? He literally just commented on my Instagram.

That's crazy. That's awesome. Oh, weird. The notification just popped up. He was very into indie rock, and I think maybe he thought that we didn't know that that was a band already. Oh, no. And I was like, first of all, name withheld.

That's a band. That's such a hard, hey, man, can you... You can't get anybody to give you a nickname. Hey, start calling me Ugly Casanova. No. It's so ungainly. And why am I going to call you Ugly Casanova? That means I'm, like, looking up to your sexual prowess.

Yeah. Like, oh, man. No, what? Besides... No, no part. I'm not going to call my friend ugly no i'm gonna call you a casanova maybe behind your back yeah that's also not easy like i'm gonna call you mike yeah or jeff or whatever your fucking name is casanova there ugly casanova it's too long for

a nickname it's way too long yeah you because then that would be like Cass or something. You would shorten that and be like, hey, Ugg or Cass. You see? Yeah. I call him Ugg-o. Ugg-o. I'll call you Ugly. How about that?

You son of a bitch. We had a friend I nicknamed Adam. I nicknamed him Shitbag just randomly one day. And for years I would introduce him. Hey, this is my friend Shitbag. Oh, man. And after a while he got very upset about it. Weird.

He took a lot of shit for a long time. And then we're in Salt Lake City and we started calling him Dogshitbag. And we're walking through the hotel and my friend Joey calls him that. And Adam looks at him. He goes, call me Dogshit one more time. And Joey kind of smirked. And I'm like, Joey, don't you dare. He's got to do it though.

He has to. No, he didn't. Oh, he didn't. Adam would have murdered Adam. Adam was crazy. You have a very similar story that you were telling me last night where you did call the guy the nickname again. Oh, yeah. And he chased you around the house. Jesus Christ. He listens. He's going to get, I can't do it. We can't do it?

He's going to get so pissed. His nickname started with a D. We'll just, we'll say, I won't say what it was. Don't say his real name. Just, we'll shout him out. I can't say that. We'll say. He already knows we're talking about him right now.

I know, he definitely does. Yeah, he definitely knows. He knows who told me this story. I feel like he'll get so mad if I say the actual, we'll just say Gross was the nickname. And we were playing and I was calling him Gross forever. I know. It doesn't sound as fine. It doesn't sound it.

I can't do it. It makes the story suck. I've been calling him gross forever. I know. It doesn't sound satisfying. It doesn't sound good. I can't do it. It makes the story suck.

Just said you had a friend you called shitbag and then this guy you call gross. We will make merch and send him free merch. I can't do it. He'll get so mad I can't do it. Ian will sing him deathcams. I can't do it. All the time. Answering machine. I can't do it.

Leave a message. He will get so mad. He got so mad at me and that was the last time I ever called him the name I can't do it. will get so mad he got so mad at me and that was the last time i ever called him the name i can't do well basically the boils down to he was like say that one more time and i looked at him i was like i said it and then we fucking we both hopped up and he had fire in his eyes and he was doing we were doing this dance around the coffee table and then i ran outside and he he picked up a parking cone and whipped it at my car like hard like man you are a real rascal you were it's crazy to know this sean and then hear stories

about the other sean and uh yeah i went to the hospital to see my dad and then i called him i was like hey we good and he goes don't ever call me that again but yeah come on don't ever call you what don't ever call him what again i can't do it god damn it i thought you were gonna get over i'm gonna ask i wouldn't do it to any of again? I can't do it. God damn it. As soon as this is over, I'm going to ask him that. I wouldn't do it to any of you guys. I can't do it to him. All right, that's fair. That's fair.

You're a good friend. In my head, it's just the N word. I'm trying to sound like such a good guy, but I can't. All right, you're going to say it.

You can't say the N word here. I usually don't go for the low-hanging fruit, but I just started calling him one day, you know? Oh, man. You were in South Dakota. You can do whatever you want up there. Everybody else was saying it. Ugly Casanova. Great pick.

Amazing name. Yeah, I know all sorts of ugly Casanovas where it's like, look at you go. Yeah. It's inspiring. It speaks to both their charisma and a woman's ability to put up with less than stellar looks. Yeah. Thank you. God bless them.

Thank you, all those women. Oh, my God. Thank you, and I'm sorry. David Borey, it is time for your final pick. And this is another. This pick, I don't even have to paint a scene. This is just another guttural one, right? This comes from my heart.

When I first heard this guy's name, a friend mentioned it casually. Yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm up on that. And then I immediately went and YouTubed everything he had because it's the, it's just, you just want to know more about this guy. Yeah. And that man is Mr. Motherfucking X-Wag. Yeah.

You, like, you want to know everything, like, where did he come from? Why is Mr. Motherfucking X-Quad. Yeah. Like, you want to know everything. Like, where did he come from? Why is Mr. Motherfucker, like. Motherfuckin's in his name. Motherfuckin's in his name. He has a lyric where he goes, 2,000 views. Something like 2,000 views on YouTube and I'm still hungry. Of course you are.

2,000 views? You should be starving. 1,000 views. He's on YouTube. Yeah. And it's all because of his name. Because he's not that good of a rapper. thousand views he's on youtube yeah and it's all because of his name because it's not he's not that good of a rapper no he's not he's really not but he was so dope that he got all those good rappers to jump on uh what's that song uh oh freaking uh with danny brown yeah racist um but they had never heard him either i guarantee you somebody just somebody like got the call and was like,

Danny Brown, you want to be on a song with Mr. Motherfucking Exquire? Yeah. And he's like, of course. Oh, yeah, I'd love to. Yeah. You'd love to be on that song? I love Danny Brown. I love Danny Brown.

Hell yeah. Yeah. We should have him on the podcast. Oh, that would be amazing. I heard one of my friends was at a hip-hop festival, and they said they saw Danny Brown in the green room, and he just had his legs like a tight cross, sitting there playing Candy Crush on his phone, just going like... Doing nothing, just sitting there probably just being dope.

Sounds fan. But we're not talking about Danny Brown. We're talking about Mr. Motherfucking Esquire. How do you feel about that, Chris? I mean, I want to make fun of it so bad, but it's a really solid name. It's a really solid, cool name. I mean, for a band, whatever. For a human, awesome name.

I just imagined that on his checkbook. Oh, yeah. I need your name exactly how it appears on all government IDs. Well, it appears now. Mr. Motherfucking Exquire. Is it mother or mother? Probably mother. I also assume that his license plate is however long it needs to be to have that whole thing on there.

He's got like a weird BMW German plate. Exactly. It's Mr. Motherfucking, M-U-T-H-A, fuck it with an apostrophe, then Exquire's E, capital X, Q-U-I-R-E. It's not even how the lawyers do it. So he's an extreme lawyer. He's an extreme lawyer! I practice extreme law! I'm big into skateboard law!

He's from Crown Heights. His real name is Hugh Allison. That's so fuck when you hear something like that. Man, from Hugh Allison toison to mr motherfucking x dude that's awesome the capital x in his name is a tribute to dmx what yeah really yeah that's what he says earl simmons i believe earl simmons yeah darkman x dmx it was popular uh movie that he was in oh no i don't watch starring rappers i don't watch films Never heard music

Never heard music Yeah but that's my fourth pick Mr. Motherfucking Exquire Amazing That's your final pick Final pick Yeah Good pick

Sean Jordan it's time for you To round off the draft Alright That you started With the Insane Clown Well I started But yeah Wacky Clown Gang

With the Wacky Circus Gang. I'm going to say, this is a tough one. I'm going to say, for my last pick, I'm going to say the Butthole Surfers. Wow.

I'm going to be honest, I feel like you beeped it. It's interesting. It's interesting. It is a fun name just the bit you want to see what they're about no I don't yes you do

no I don't you just yes you do no if you if you'd never if I just came up and this

you would never heard that name and I was like Ian I got free tickets to this band to Butthole surfers. Let's go. Where's the concert? Across the street for free.

But you gotta pay for beers. No. Specifically, name a venue. Name like an actual venue. They would have to be somewhere legit. What venue is gonna get you to say yes? I don't know. I don't like this pick.

The Motor Center. The Motor? No way. No fucking way. No, I would have to be on drugs. The Dress Day. Poppers. No.

No, there's no answer, in fact. I don't know why I posited it like that. It's a weird pick. You guys are killing me. It's an interesting... The Butthole Surfers? I don't want to see anything with Butthole in the name. Even you saying Butthole makes me laugh.

It's funny. It sounds like a band of 13-year-old kids. I want to see the band who's crazy enough to name themselves the Butthole Surfers. Is that crazy, though? Or ridiculous or whatever. I want to find out. That's why I'm going to the show. Butthole.

Again, I'm laughing. If nothing else, I would have a ticket stub that said butthole circus on it. I pitched the Velvet Underground. Oh, man. This is... That is... Oh, my God. On a whole surface.

I'm not with you, man, but all right. I mean, you've made that very clear, all three of you. I'm not even going to say I'm so against it, because I'm with you that it's an interesting name, but I think I'm more with David that it sounds like a teenager's

Yeah, it sounds like fun, dumb, punk name. I wouldn't like if you were like let's go see the Butthole Surfers I wouldn't imagine any kind of good music.

No. I'd be like was this their first gig? I assume they're also on a show with like 20 other bands with Butthole in the name. It's in the desk garage.

Yeah. They're just doing it on the mouth. There's like a band called like 20 other bands. With Butthole in the name. It's in the dad's garage. Yeah. Butthole Mouths. There's like a band called Shit Hitler. Yeah. I assume they also need you to buy them beer after the show. Yeah. I feel like they're performing on the deck of their stepdad's above ground pool. You guys, I'm into all of everything you guys are saying.

I'm like, I want to see you all on the bill. I mean, that sounds like a fun time, but it's not good music. It might be. First of all, they do have good music. Well, yeah. They have that song.

Which one? I don't mind the sun sometimes. Obviously. That's a good song now. I can feel you in my lips and know you're mine.

I'm sorry. I didn't know that that's what we were doing. No, it's cool. That's a good song now. All right. No, fuck me. Butthole surfer.

No. Oh, man. No. I like that you're sticking to it. To put a button on this podcast. Hell yeah. Butthole surfer. I like that you're sticking to it.

Stick to your guns. You have to carve that into your forehead like the Nazis and glorious bastards. I'd like a gallon of milk, please. Why do you have butthole surfers carved into your forehead? Don't fucking, don't worry about it. All fantasy, everything.

And yet you thought the symbol was going to be the one where you were going to be dicing. God, you hit it. Like, uh-oh. I'm nervous about the Prince symbol. Your drift is like

when LeBron's first Cavaliers teams where it was just him and a bunch of trash. If ever he got picked fourth somehow. You know, if just one person listening laughed at the word butthole, then I did my job. Well, sure. That's true.

But also, it's a very solid pick. I'd be very interested to see that ban. It's a bad pick. To echo what David said earlier, it's boring stupidness. For those of you listening, Sharpie's doing the thing like if somebody put green beans on a hamburger where they're raising their hands like,

what? It was Ian's face when you said it. I can't get that picture out of my brain. It was the fucking best. That look of disgust. Yeah, it was like someone just told him that his mom was in the

hospital. What? What the fuck is happening? Had so many follow-up questions. Man, we left

some dope bands on the board too. We can talk about them now. Too many. Too many. Yeah, Dude

Guar would be a dank one. Jethro Tull. Good one. I was gonna pick that kid XX xxx tentacion oh yeah yeah wu-tang he's a bad dude sounds interesting wu-tang clan tony tony tony yeah fun grateful dead walk aflame naughty by nature

i never even thought about how good of a name that was. Not because I hate you. There's another band. There's one called Godspeed, You Black Emperor. But there's an exclamation point after you. Godspeed, you. Black Emperor. It's a weird one. That's weird.

Built to Spill. Built to Spill. Black Flag is a dope name. I sing the tears for fears. Motorhead. Yep. Foxy Shazam was what I had. Oh, Foxy Shazam.

Pussy Riot. Pussy Riot. I think that's self-explanatory. There's the one. Bikini Kill. What's the one that you think I didn't want to say at the house when I was like, I got one that's got a buzzword in it? Oh, NWA.

Oh, no. Oh. That wasn't it. What was the one? That's definitely a buzzword. Mine was anal. Oh, anal cunt? Yeah, that was a fun one.

Yeah, yeah. God, I didn't want to see what was going to happen. I just spent two weeks in England so I can say cunt. That was one where I was like, that was a risky maneuver to pull. But yeah.

Motley Crue? Oh, yeah. God. CNC Music Factory? Oh, man. Freedom Williams. Oh, Freedom Williams. Did they sing Everybody Dance Now?

Yes, but did we talk about, you know the woman singing? Yeah, but did we talk about it? You know the woman singing? Yeah, they stole it. It's the fat girl from the Weather Girls. Yeah. Well, one of the fat women from the Weather Girls. You were just in London, so you can say that.

I can say that. Nathaniel Ratliff in the Night Sweats is dope. 303, my eye to my eye. Great one. Yeah, man, some good ones. Huey Lewis in the News. Oh, Huey Lewis. That is a good one. I got to open for Huey Lewis and the News Oh Huey Lewis That is a good one

I got to open for Huey Lewis and the News Get the shit That's awesome At the zoo concert series That's amazing I basically was just like Had told some jokes

And I was like Ladies and gentlemen Huey Lewis and the News Then I left stage They came up The one condition Was you had to Embarrass yourself publicly

By picking the butthole surfers At a later date I wouldn't call that Embarrassing at all I would call it A very confident decision And I really think The tweets The tweets the tweets the tweets might run the roots or that's a dub name beyonce that is a real good yeah especially like in whatever year she was

born yeah he just made that up beyonce she came out he was like you know what beyonce i know we've talked about this before but like there's so many girls, I bet, now named Beyonce. I feel so bad for them. I'm like, damn it. Do you? Yeah. I bet there's like 25-year-olds named, well.

There's a lot of Shaqs. Are there really? There's a lot of Shaquilles. I can't wait until I run into one. It's a bummer. So we didn't pick Beyonce, but here's what we did pick. I let us off by picking

mega death and then the velvet underground and then perfume genius and then johnny cash and then dot dot dot and you will know us by the trail of dead sure yeah solid chris charpentier you went with shellac and then a tribe called quest king tough radio head and then ugly casanova he just made the face again david bory you picked the delphonics lisa lisa and cult jam leftover Radiohead and then Ugly Casanova David Borey you picked the Delphonics, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam Leftover Crack, Death Cab for Cutie and Mr. Motherfucking Exquire look at me when you say these

Sean Jordan look at me when you say these in the best band names you know nothing about the band but the name is so cool and solid that it just sounds like it's gonna be

a good band exactly you started I started only three bands in the world had been picked at this point

in the history of music recorded and otherwise every time either one individual or a group of people have gotten together to make music

and had to identify themselves as such. And my first pick. Only three had been picked. And you decided to pick the insane clown posse. Number one. I'm sweating so bad because of how hard I'm laughing. It's fucking insane. Oh, God.

If I had face paint, it'd be running everywhere right now. You bounced back a little bit with Cannibal Corpse, then Cradle of Filth, and then the Prince symbol. Strong pick. And then you rounded it out. At this point, only 19 bands

have been picked yeah that's a good amount of bands but still so many left so many left and you picked the butthole surfers

I like that you don't even respect them enough to say the T-heart no you said butthole surfers butthole surfers butthole butthole surfers respect them enough to say the T-heart. No. You say boh-hole servers. Boh-hole servers.

Boh-hole. The boh-hole servers. It sounds like something Not Slayer. It sounds like something you would carve into a desk. Boh-hole. Boh-hole servers. Yeah. Yeah, I do. So those are the picks.

Thank you for listening. Make sure you go to at Ian Carmel on Twitter. There will be a poll for this one. Sorry, I forgot to So those are the picks. Thank you for listening. Make sure you go to at Ian Carmel on Twitter. There will be a poll for this one. Sorry, I forgot to do a poll for the last one. There will be. We want to hear. Make sure you tweet at us your picks, too, if there's anything we forgot. Yes.

We love hearing from you. Go to iTunes, like and subscribe, do all that stuff, and tune in again next week. Oh, well, well first thank you for Sean Jordan David Borey so glad you guys are back Chris Charpentier thank you for joining us

what a treat it was so good to have you and tune in next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything Sha-Clacky! that was a hate gun podcast