All Fantasy Everything - Basic Stuff That We Love (w/ Shane Torres & Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: December 2, 2021Keep It Simple, Stupid. Big Sugar joins us to draft Basic Stuff We Love while David hides out in Bolivia.   Guest:  Shane Torres @shanetorres IG: @shanetorres Tour dates: shaneisac...omedian.com/calendar Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy. Merch: teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverything Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is all fantasy everything.
The podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture.
On today's episode, we're drafting basic shit that we love.
And returning with us today is comedian and just the sunshine of my life, Sugar Shane Torres.
You can catch Shane in Portland, Oregon this Saturday
doing stand-up at Mississippi Studios.
Plus, he'll be on tour and you can find his upcoming dates
at shaneisacomedian.com.
I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and joining me today
is my friend and comedian, Sean Jordan, David Borey,
hovering over the Bolivian wetlands in a blimp.
Unreachable. Couldn't be bothered.
Let's get into it.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast that forgot how to start this podcast a second ago because, you know, he hasn't really been on plan the last few days.
He hasn't really been eating clean.
Yeah, you were visiting the motherland, yeah?
I was visiting the motherland of Supportland, Oregon.
Supportland.
Various food and alcohol related flights of fancy.
I got together with you and the Carmels.
And I don't know if you caught this when we were there, but when we were at karaoke,
I sidled up next to a one Ivan Carmel at the bar.
Oh, yeah.
He didn't know it was me yet
and he was looking down at his phone
masks
he was looking down at his phone to nobody but like very audible
he just goes
why is there no god damn internet in this place
he said it to no one
but it was so loud he might as well have been
talking to me or ordering a drink
and I tapped him I go
I bet the bartender heard it
I go who are you saying that to bud talking to me or ordering a drink and i tapped him i go the bartender heard it yeah yeah i go
i go who are you saying that to bud and he goes i gotta show my fucking vax card
and i go i don't i go i don't think you need the internet for that
and then you and then you walked up and it was just a delight it was he's got the passport on
there you you need the net dude yeah yeah that's what he explained it to me but i yeah it was just so funny because it was such a such an ik move was it was this over up
in northwest at that spot you like in this was at a baby kitten portland portland uh icon baby
kitten karaoke has a brick and mortar oh no shit yeah with three like three or four rooms it's
great and like no you know no shade
on voice box i've had a lot of fun at voice box but baby kitten like voice box's songbook is just
not that extensive they have like no beetle songs and baby kitten has everything yeah everything
everything they have everything i'll tell you what else voice box didn't have last time we were there
doubles for your boys that was pretty yeah
and that that was like a little bit like you guys need to calm the fuck down with this like yeah
yeah i'm trying to get dressed and sing misfit songs yes you're trying to order what double
double gin and tonics i bet and they were just like what they sell tequila sodas for me yeah
that's what i moved over to now too yeah but they just said no they said they
don't do doubles now to be fair that is the only place i've gotten cut off in my life which seems
wrong given my track record yeah oh man i've been there's been a few times where i've been cut off
but in the most because i don't really and i really haven't ever gotten aggressive when I drink, so I'm not a problem usually.
They're just like, I just will fall asleep or something.
I remember we were at the Nikolai Clubhouse.
You remember that place up in Northwest?
No.
That strip club in Portland?
No.
Couldn't catch me dead in there now, but it was...
Why couldn't we catch you in there now?
Whose choice?
Yours or...
Yeah, it's just life and general decency
is that a strip club yeah a bartender cut me off
so I went over to the table and took
I think I took Adam's drink and I was just
slyly sliding it to myself
slow enough I think to where the bartender came up
and stopped me and he's like no
not that one either
just like a cat trying to
knock something off a shelf
where they're like does he see me?
Also, what a horrible name for a strip club.
Welcome to Nikolai Clubhouse.
And is Nikolai in today?
Yeah.
So it was in Northwest in that industrial area,
kind of by where we went to that rave that one time, Ian.
You remember that back in the day?
With Hannibal Buress, yeah.
It was real close to the
crib in northwest and we would just be fooling around me and the big dog and adam and we'd roll
there and there was one day and i think this is the day i don't think they let you fool around
with a big dog at the strip club i think that's strictly for well we brought the big dog it's
ours we're the judge jury and executioner so it was the day that somebody pissed in the reservoir
so they had a boil order on all the portland water i remember that yeah so instead of boiling and drinking water it was a poo-poo
yeah somebody made boom instead of boiling and drinking water we just got we just got like a
30 pack and some 40s or something and we're like this it's liquid has water in it that was the
night and then we get back home adam cooked a bunch of ravioli ate it out of the pan spilled it on the carpet and then we moved up
a couple months later so there it is jesus i stepped in human shit on saturday downtown
portland you said i didn't get to get into that with you well i was me and elisa carmel went you
know christmas slash hanukkah shopping depending on when people uh receive these gifts and i was
just i got into her car and i was like something smells horrible
and we checked our shoes and like someone had someone had taken a shit behind her car and i
stepped in it and the amount of time and you're sure it's human shit yeah or this was a big bit
it was like it was human shit or it was cross promotional material for the Clifford the Big Red Dog movie.
It was a lot of shit. It was a lot and it was
in one pile right behind her car.
What if it just came out of a chihuahua?
I mean, that chihuahua
was empty after that.
It was like up. It just raised up
off the ground.
It came out like a frozen yogurt.
Yeah, it just kind like whirled up yeah
the i mean as always i feel i feel more empathy for the person forced to shit outside that i felt
anger that i'd stepped in human shit but that means i just felt a lot of empathy that day
because i was i was just like ah ah it like ah then nothing ruins your day like i mean dog shit at least you
can be like oh okay but human shit there's something well with dog shit you can't just
be like some fucking asshole didn't pick up after their dog like yeah with human shit oh it's just
you guys ever you guys ever had to poop outside not in a camping camping situation? I never have. I had to once.
I can't recall one, but I'm sure that it's happened.
It just seems like something I would have done in my life.
I had to go let it ride into a plastic bag one time
because Tori was in the shower and it just couldn't wait.
So I had to go under our porch.
Really?
You went under the porch?
Well, it was when we lived in Northwest.
There was nowhere outside to do it that wasn't a very public place.
So I had to go under our porch into a plastic bag.
And it was a bummer.
You couldn't be like, hey, come out of the shower.
I have to shit.
Maybe.
So I woke up and it was like an immediate emergency.
So I ran downstairs.
He was in there.
And I honestly don't think I was thinking too.
I was just like, it has to come out.
It was seriously like...
You were prairie dogging?
No, it was a liquefied prairie dog.
Oh, God.
Oh, boy.
I don't even know why you got a bag then.
Just for peace of mind, I think.
Just so I could say I tried.
I wonder if you having a baby
is the reason we talk about
poop so much more often on this podcast i bring it up don't no no you don't apologize you got to
speak your truth but we talk the amount we talk about poop has gone up yeah i would say fivefold
it yeah man she poops it's on my mind it's definitely on my mind so maybe that's it
that's crazy to me that guy who loves poop is
sean jordan sean jordan on twitter on instagram there he loves poop folks there's no two ways
about it i'm a poop i'm a poop man man he loves fucking poop well he doesn't love fucking poop
but he fucking loves poop oh boy oh he's he's dressed like an hvac repairman yeah i so i jumped into this earlier
but i did figure this out that i for the last couple days because i was on the road got home
i took three covet tests because i was honestly i was convinced i was like i got it i feel i felt
sounds like someone just wanted their vacation to last a little longer to me
sounds like somebody milked it i did anyway so i
i've just been under the weather so last night at like five and well i guess this morning i found
out that i've been taking day or nyquil instead of dayquil because i got one of those off-brand
dayquil nyquil combos and the fucking nyquil is orange in this. What? It's orange is the color of the sun.
So I looked at the box.
That's medical malpractice.
I was shocked.
Also, the fact that you're going by color for your medication taking is also it's such bad news.
It's like, I mean, what do you look at the box?
I just stuff that was the color of the sun is the day shit. And you're saying right now what you're saying is that was the color of the sun is the day shit and the stuff is the
color of the moon. You're saying right now, what you're
saying is it's the color of the sun. I
should take it during the daytime. Yes!
Fuck you, dude. Don't try
to be above me. That's fucking insane.
That means you never would have drank Jägermeister
during the day if that's how you applied things
to yourself. Stop saying pics.
No. Don't you come at me like that, shane i've seen you get burritos seven foot
up on a wall before you're both right you're both right here like sean you shouldn't be making
medical decisions based on color but also what's the other what's the color of the of the day quill
green what white closer to the moon white yeah closer to the color of the moon closer to the
color of the moon now you're just fucking now you're way off buddy i've been taking nyquil
for the last two days during the day i don't know what's going on some weird truck stop shaman shit
you're going off yeah yeah dude and then we got the hvac crew coming over which like we were
talking about so it's like nine dudes and i always feel emasculated. Is the HVAC crew your friends?
It's the pushing 40s pushing 40s, right?
Yeah.
Somebody owes me like 500 bucks so I called the HVAC crew and we're going to go get it.
We're going to split up this 500 bucks
between 10 guys.
Far be it from me
and I feel bad already.
It's dope. We're moving into a new
house i should be thankful but i am out of it a little bit so that's it sure that nyquil fog is
real dude i couldn't i felt it last night at like five o'clock p.m i was just sitting in the chair
just like cat i mean like head falling couldn't keep my eyes open i was like what the hell
what's going on because i just took some NyQuil
a couple hours before that.
Daddy was ready to go to bed.
Other than that, man.
Any comedy dates you want to
get ahead of here? December 12th,
come beat the shit out of Mike Malloy at Helium
and then watch me do stand-up while Mike lays
there with poop all over himself because
the HVAC crew just beat his ass. That'll be
fun. And then January 6th, if you're in Seattleattle show up to the crocodile nobody showed up last time to my
show and we had to cancel it show up 200 tickets i want to sell it out i have a daughter that jesus
i have a daughter there's an hvac crew at my house right now with fucking lead pipes and crowbars
waiting for money and they're not going to get it unless you show up in seattle so please do it
someone's got to pay for this new couch or whatever you will not be humiliated again dude
it's on well it's on my website sean jordan sean jordan comedian.com because sean jordan comedy
i let lapse and somebody ran up on it tried to charge me a thousand bucks to get it back but
guess what not only do i do comedy but i'm also a comedian. That's right. Eat poop, dude. Whatever.
Once again,
Sean Jordan will be storming Capitol Hill on January 6th.
Jesus Christ.
Holy buckets.
Make sure you show up.
It hasn't even been a year
since that happened
which is so crazy.
Crazy.
It seems forever.
Well, it seems like it happened
during the 1700s.
Yeah.
When things like that
were supposed to happen
in America.
Jesus Christ.
Shane Torres is here.
God bless it.
God bless us, everyone.
Shane Torres on Twitter.
Shane Torres on Instagram.
No more Syrup Mountain.
Shane Torres across the board.
The Night Tiger is here.
Hey, guys.
How are you?
Good to see you, boys.
I guess I'll plug.
Get out there. Sell, baby.
Sell, sell, sell. Put the sizzle on the fajita platter.
This Saturday,
Mississippi Studios,
there's still some tickets left. I'd like to sell it out.
Like Sean.
Yeah, I don't want no one to...
There's only room for one pity person
on this podcast, and I already took it.
They probably feel real sad for you just drinking.
Don't sell that out.
That's sold out.
It better be getting there.
I'm going to be so depressed if Portland lets me down.
But I'm up against, like, three other things that night,
and I'm not going to say what they are.
Say what they are.
Nikki Glaser, Dan Soder, and Doug Benson.
Who's the last one? Oh, Doug Benson too?
He's during the day. I don't want
to plug them. God damn it. Just buy tickets.
MississippiStudios.com, ShadeIsAComedian.com
I've been
sitting around drinking DayQuil during the day
and NyQuil at night and I'm fine.
Yeah, dude.
On tour, basically
for the rest of my life is what it seems
like it's going to be looking at my schedule.
My only breaks are U2's wedding.
Like, I don't have a break.
You're going to U2's wedding?
Yeah.
Is the edge going to be there?
He's descended from Irish royalty.
Of course he's going to U2's wedding.
No, my break is not until Sean's wedding.
Geez, man.
So you're just going to try to guess where the wedding's at or what?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll figure it out eventually.
I'm sure Laura will invite me.
She'll feel bad.
I doubt it.
She doesn't like a lot of you guys.
Yeah, I know.
I can tell the way she stares at me.
The amount of people who I've heard say,
I can't wait to meet Laura at the wedding is astounding.
Yeah, because it's
just never like liz has never met her and i'm like yeah i guess she was never in la and you know it's
weird but yeah they'll meet her she'll meet her will she at least should come up for that uh
portland show right probably i don't dude it's astonishing to me uh how much of i don't know i
don't know i'd like it if she did but who knows what mike does and i don't know I don't know. I'd like it if she did, but who knows what Mike
does. I don't know.
I don't know how any of that works.
I'll be in Boston with the trash Mike Malloy's going to be
opening for me at Laugh Boston in January,
so if anybody wants to come out to that.
Oh, God.
I like to pad my features now.
That'll be a fun show. You and the kid
in Boston, dude?
He'll have two drinks and try and fucking work me like a body a heavy bag or something like that not just try he will work
you like a heavy bag yeah you need to work him back he's gonna just start gooning it up
fucking big puppy he likes playing rough when he gets drunk yeah as soon as he touches down
at logan airport his accent's gonna come back back. Oh, I got to tell you this.
I was on tour with Bert.
Oh, yeah.
And one of the things we did in Boston was we went to Fenway.
They put Topgolfs in Fenway during the offseason.
Oh, my God.
And we were hitting Topgolf right next to the Green Monster.
I can...
What do you guys think I'm better at just guessing?
Hitting a golf ball or hitting a baseball?
It has to be golf, just statistically.
Yeah, we did watch you go 0 for 30,
even though a year after that, you claim your grades.
Honestly, it's a pretty close race.
It's a really close race.
You can't golf?
No.
I can't golf.
I can't play baseball.
But the good news is the owner of the Red Sox was right next to us.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
John Henry was right next to us.
And I FaceTime Mike.
And I was like, hey, I got to show you something.
He was like, what's up, Bubba?
And I showed him.
And I was like, and I just kind of like scanned the field.
He was like, oh, that's awesome.
And I called Greggy, too.
And but when I was talking to mike he goes hey if you see john
henry tell him i'll never forgive him for the mookie trade and like he was literally right next
you're not oh dude that's so sick yeah god that's god that's cool yeah but it was a pretty cool
experience of fenway's fucking real here's why i think you golf was better you because you at
least made contact with the ball right most of the of the time. Well, there you go. Yeah, so you're better at golf.
Pretty cut and dry.
Okay.
It's just such a huge percentage of your brain is dedicated to thinking up how everything bagels should cost more than regular bagels.
That it doesn't have room for hand-eye coordination.
If anyone ever comes to see me in my town when they're not, I don't know, making a musical or whatever the fuck it is when you do
when you come to New York, Carmel. That's right.
Yeah, which is literally what you do
when you come here now. Man, our lives
have changed. I know.
Yeah. You see me do the bagel
joke. They love it. What do
you mean by they? You know exactly
what I mean.
You know exactly what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Jew Yorkers? Yeah. The Jew Yorkers love it.
They can't get enough of it.
I just heard one of them go, pretty funny for a goy.
That's our highest honor.
That's like having the fucking Nobel Prize.
It's a civilian medal.
High civilian medal.
It's a civilian medal.
I'll be out there. Dana's doing like a book release party or something
so i'm going to try to make it out i think in january but we'll see we'll see yeah let me know
i'd love to see you guys yeah i'll let you know the dates yeah we have to we have to get dinner
absolutely and we'll get dinner by i mean this will have come out by then but i'll see you in a
few days yeah we're gonna we going to plot Sean's downfall.
Yeah.
That should be fun.
HVAC crew's plotting it already, man.
They got me.
I feel like Kramer, dude.
I'm just fucking wowing tight right now.
It's intense.
It's probably because you're still riding that Dayquil high, dude.
I don't know what's going on, man.
You're mixing Dayquil and Stumptown Cobras, dude.
They call that a rainy speedball.
A rainy speedball, dude. They call that a rainy speedball. A rainy speedball,
dude. Barista meth.
My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter,
at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Jewish. Happy Hanukkah, everybody!
I think it's over by the time this is dropping,
but we're recording
during Hanukkah, so
if I feel extra Jewish, it's because i got the
star david chain out as we speak dana schwartz gave me my hanukkah gift it's the star of david
uh watch the late late show listen to all fantasy everything watch sex unzipped on netflix and
keep your eye out for for a a fun exciting exciting Ian Carmel project in the near future that
I can't talk about yet.
Yeah.
Do I know about it?
Yes, I think so.
Okay.
No one tells me anything.
It's been eight years since we lived in the same place.
Oh, wait.
No.
Marissa, bleep this out.
Okay.
Okay.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, yeah.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, yeah. Beep, beep, beep, beep, yeah.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, yeah.
And we're back.
And we're back, huh?
There we go.
The reason we're gathered here today is not to discuss discreet things that can't appear on the air just yet,
but also to fantasy draft basic things we love.
Now, the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors play between the two of you
and we throw on shoot here we go rock paper scissors shoot oh double rocks rock paper
scissors shoot shane wins funny how your fist fell out of frame and then yeah i missed it i missed david uh
david i miss my guy or david he's spending more and more time in bolivia yeah that guy
the extradite from bolivia are we gonna go get him or they just kind of leave him there we're
gonna have to send the hvac crew dude hvac to do an extract they don't fly so it's gonna take a
while hey sean what do you think extra
diet means uh get a criminal from a different country and bring them back right like oh it's
close enough i mean like like yeah pretty much if i if i flee the country and go to i don't know
it's funny i just couldn't think of another country i think it means more diet actually
yeah yeah extra diet it's like two diet cokes just in case extra diet
it's the touchstone of something that once was i think that's what i defined something as one time
the touchstone of something that once was
you didn't need you know here's the thing If that was coming out of a writer's pen,
someone might actually think that's a beautiful set of prose,
but you're so backwards and behind it that it doesn't make sense.
So funny.
Oh, my God.
I just love that.
That's so funny.
Keep being mean, man.
Okay, well, looks good on you.
Shane, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors,
it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft.
But before you do that,
I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. Oh, what's that?
That's a great question.
Sorry, I didn't know I was also
David today. You're David. Of course you're David.
Yes.
You little shithead.
It's like if you're moving,
you go to the new house, you have all the boxes
in the garage, and you're being delegated
because you're more of a grunt worker
than a plan man.
You're being delegated.
Yes.
Delegated to.
Your boss tells you
to move one of the boxes
from the garage to the kitchen.
You take it to the kitchen.
And then she says,
actually,
that's going to go in the office.
So then you move it to the office.
While you're in the office,
she tells you to take one of the boxes from the office, put that in the kitchen. So then you move it to the office. While you're in the office, she tells you to take one of the boxes from the office,
put that in the kitchen.
And then when you go to the kitchen,
there just so happens to be another box
that was supposed to be in the office
that you accidentally put in the kitchen.
So you have to take that back to the office.
And then when you're in the office,
you look in the closet,
clearly see a box labeled kitchen on it.
So you on your own, and you're proud of yourself, take that to the kitchen.
And then I assume you just keep doing that.
Make sure Laura has the baby when you're moving.
She's got her right now.
Okay, good.
Basically, what it means is if you pick third in the first round, you pick first in the
second round.
Now, Shane Torres.
Yes.
With that knowledge in mind, what will the order of today's draft be?
Am I being weird?
I'm sorry. I am
a little lightheaded. I'm not being weird at
all. I'm just making sure.
Ian, is that the sweater
I got you for your birthday? Yes, it is.
Thank you for wearing it.
It's a little big on
you. I know, but that's okay. I didn't
even, oh, I figured out what happened with your
present. The
seller canceled the order, so I had to reorder it.
The seller did?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'll make sense once you get it.
Okay.
I'm sure my neighbor stole it.
Anyways.
I didn't even think like, oh, Shane's going to be on.
Let me throw this on.
I just went and walked to get a coffee before, and this is like my walk around the neighborhood sweatshirt.
It looks great, doesn't it?
It's a good.
Yeah.
I'm going to tell the listeners what you got shane for his birthday it's a bunch of novelty condoms that say that boy shane can pump on it like once you get a boner
that's what it's once i get my first boner once i get my first once you're married and you use
yeah it's gonna be fun they all have holes poked in them i don's pretty funny. I don't know if that's in the car, the Mary. I was on the road this weekend.
I was talking to myself about how all my friends are getting married and having kids and stuff.
And I was just like, oh, yeah, I don't know if I actually want to do that.
You're going to get married in your 60s, dude, when you have probably will a thick mane of gray hair you're gonna be looking like kenny rogers you're gonna be looking like fucking
michael mcdonald dude and you're gonna be getting married on the probably the deck of a boat and
we're gonna be there dude you're gonna be wearing a flowing linen suit it's gonna look awesome i've
already seen it i've seen the future i love that love that. I had a fever dream about it last night.
What's my husband look like?
I mean, wife.
Flowing red hair, dude.
A strong, independent,
gay look woman.
She's going to be 48.
You're going to be 62.
That's good numbers. Yeah, that's good numbers.
Well,
I think the order today
will be me, Sean, Ian.
Let's just.
Ah, a corner.
Yeah.
Let's just have the guy who slept in between our rooms in the middle again.
That's right.
Shane, Sean, and Ian, three strong Irish names, dude.
Three strong Irish guys, the three of us. We're basically you too, dude. Three strong Irish guys, the three of us.
We're basically you too, dude.
That's the name of our bar we're going to open after we get out of comedy.
Three strong Irish
guys. Three strong Irish men, dude.
Well, top of the
draft to you, Shane. You've got the first pick
and we'll get to it right after
this short break.
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absolutely you have occasion to uh shane you have the first pick in the basic shit we love all fantasy everything draft what will
that first basic bitch thing be
I feel like
this might be reaching but I
have to go with pumpkin spice lattes I feel
like that's not a reach at all
I don't know there's a lot
of basic things that this
crew likes so yes there is
I mean it might be it might I mean it's
not a reach that it's basic.
It might be, well, you determine what first-round talent is here.
I think I could see that going first-round.
Yeah.
I love it, dude.
Pumpkin spice, all of it.
Give it all to me.
There's a thing about it only, it's truly basic in the sense that
it is seasonal and it feels like a treat from the largest chain
establishment in the world like there's like there's a there's something about thinking
something is a treat from a chain restaurant that is very basic that's a good point yeah yeah it's
not like oh this one bakery in my town makes this beautiful like sugar cookie when i'm in when i'm
in chattanooga yeah you can only get it when I'm in Chattanooga.
Yeah, you can only get this cacio e pepe at this Italian place that's run by this old Italian couple, like, in my neighborhood.
Yeah, it's his mother's recipe.
You know, it's like spending this much time on the road as I have the past few years.
Yeah.
Because COVID didn't happen.
There's a comfort in chain establishments that is unmatched by local eateries
and it says because you can never be disappointed because you know exactly what you're getting
the spinach feta wrap is going to be at starbucks and it's going to be fine it's going to be fine
that's how you can tell that we're basic because i will have what them and red pepper egg bites to
go please oh they're so good there's's been so many times in other cities,
people are like, where should we go eat?
I'm like, boy, there's 50 places at the mall
that I know exactly what we could do.
We've already said so many basic things.
Well, that'll get brought up again.
But I'm just saying, it's like, we don't need to search.
Just take me, get my eyes on something
that I've seen before, and I'm fine with it.
I love a Starbucks, dude.
And the pumpkin spice.
It's it's great.
It's really it's sweet as all get out. But it's great.
They fucking those scientists in New Jersey or wherever figured they did their goddamn shit on that.
They have the the test Starbucks.
One of them is in Manhattan here.
Like where they do their wild shit their new shit
and it is the height of like i am from madison wisconsin i went to new york and this is what i
saw kind of like just fan like weird swag and shit that people love like you can only get it
at this starbucks kind of tote bags oh yeah it's like the New York tote bag, and it's got the Statue of Liberty on a mug and shit like that.
They sell those in Portland.
You know, they have like the Portland.
I have one.
I have a Portland Starbucks mug.
Yeah, I bet it's great.
It's great.
It's big.
Also, pumpkin spice is just spice for pumpkins.
No pumpkin in it.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Hold on now.
Hold on.
Really?
It's not pumpkin flavored?
You just twisted my brain. Yeah, it's not pumpkin flavored. It's not pumpkin flavored.
I don't believe you.
There it is.
Well, now what, dude?
I don't want to be hasty.
Now that I think about it, you're right, Sean.
How do we go from here?
I don't know.
Maybe it's not so basic after all.
Who told you this?
Is this one of those things you made?
I do it all the time.
Did you make this up?
You know what?
It's cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves.
I believe you.
There's no pumpkin in it.
Wow.
Well, now it seems a lot less basic
i'll tell you that wow that's pretty cool shit it's kind of my but we just this isn't that weird
that we just assume that i assume anything that anybody knows anything about i will believe him
because i don't know shit about shit so you can tell me something if i if you know anything about
it i'm like sure that seems like one of those weird legal distinctions or like their attorneys were like well you can call it spice for pumpkins and someone's like
can we call it pumpkin spice and then there was like three hundred thousand dollars worth of legal
work done and they were like yeah technically yeah yeah yes yeah i guess it makes sense all
spice doesn't have everything in it so pumpkin, careful, Carbo. You know where you're headed. Huh?
You know what kind of...
Thin ice, buddy.
I don't care how much weight you lose.
You're going to crash through on this, buddy.
This is not...
I'm going to go before you,
and I'm doing my all-spice joke, dude.
I would love to see it.
An all-spice latte.
And Sean can do an old-spice joke.
Oh, yeah. He is fucking old spice dude i do got the stash though but the beard came in so it feels cowardly
uh i'll look what you what else is going to be cowardly is your first pick i'm almost sure of it
yeah i love me a white claw i'll tell you what what. Oh, there it is. You do.
I do.
And I'm past giving a shit about the looks.
I got some looks.
Even in Denver and Portland, some places, you'll get it.
And I'll be like, let me get a white claw.
And I always say dealer's choice.
That was going to be if we drafted social bits, by the way.
That was going to be one of my bartender dealer's choice. All right.
We will draft social bits.
All right.
Settle down.
They look at you.
Nine out of ten, they give you a all right they just they look at you nine out
of ten they give you a little like oh look at you this little spark plug and then they'll just bring
me back my white claw and i enjoy it thoroughly i don't have to choke it down it's not a fucking ipa
that i have to sit and act like i'm into i just enjoy my white claw and i have a good night i
have my i enjoy my white claw and then I go home to my loving fiance. Yeah.
And I watch Training Day on the phone next to her. And then I send Shane pictures and screen caps of it.
It's like there's a bartender just being like, White Claw, huh?
You seem like a black cherry man.
Yeah.
I don't like White Claws that much.
Yeah, I love them.
I think I want one, and then I have half of it,
and I'm like, this is making this barbecue worse.
Yeah.
The thing that blows my mind is watching you order it at the bar
when everything is an option.
Yeah.
Well, I'll get a Jameson or something with it,
but I just like a White Claw.
I really do. i've liked him
first day i had one i was in mike malloy's old pool and i had like that nine raspberry white
claws because i didn't know didn't know they hit and then they hit i was like oh i'm in and
they're basically nine to anything is gonna hit yeah well you know we were just talking about this
weren't we me and you were it's like teeth hurt from that much white claw i feel like that's like a coating almost yeah you get i've had to yeah you get like sugar
too much sugar it's not the teeth it's more like the body chemistry but uh yeah they're just i
don't know they're just they're really yeah it's more about my body chemistry oh body makes my
body all cattywampus yeah i pour white claw in the bathtub and rub lotion all over my i wash my hair with lotion and then rinse it with white claw oh god my body chemistry is on point
yeah man white claw have you remained a white claw loyalist even as all these other brands
have put out sparkling uh malt liquor beverages have you gotten into the Topo Chico's? I've never had even a non-alcoholic Topo Chico.
What?
Yeah, it's frustrating.
I keep thinking about how I want one,
then I just always forget when I'm at Plaid or whatever.
It's a great mineral water.
Great mineral water.
Well, there's a Topo Chico truck a block away from the crib.
It must be one of the reps or something,
but I see it almost every day.
Well, if you're not doing it now you're never gonna do it
yeah yeah this is like when you were gonna start your screenplay at the start of the pandemic
and it's not done now no i was never gonna that was never even something i talked about real quick
can we talk about how out of control the beverage world has gotten nobody's staying in their lane
anymore and it's actually fucking infuriating to me. Well, the lines are, dude, you're talking. Yeah. Have you had that Coca-Cola coffee?
Yeah.
It is disgusting.
Have you had the fucking PBR coffee?
Yeah.
Those are good.
Those are great.
Yeah, they're good, but that's insane.
What?
That is insane.
I had a couple at High Plains, and I drank one drink almost.
It tastes like one of those Frappuccino things.
It's like if we were like, we're going to be serious journalists journalists now because that's kind of next to public speaking like yeah yeah yeah
it's insane shane sean and ian broke open the fucking hunter biden story like
well they were there they didn't really break it open so much as this was part of their
they told somebody what they did with him yeah the fact that it's pbr doing a alcohol i'm like alcohol sure
but like coffee you're in the coffee game all of a sudden like yep you guys are barely in the
beer game i mean you are but like they could have called it paps brewed ribbon and they missed it
completely what are we doing you know that now i'm even more mad yeah i don't know how i'm gonna
sleep after this yeah but also if this isn't like showing that like topo chico mineral water
sparkling from the mountains of mexico yeah it's now doing these fucking like here's our trash
party seltzer like yeah it's completely uh what like it's the complete opposite and antithetical
of what they were doing in the first place like far as branding goes. Bud Light did an eggnog
seltzer?
Oh, God.
Something like that? Get me at a Christmas party,
man. I'll try it for sure.
I probably wouldn't even mind it.
But that's a thing that
should come around once and we're
all like, remember that one
fad when people at Christmas time
tried eggnog seltzer and then we
didn't decide it as a country we shouldn't do this again yeah yeah you know i've never had eggnog
with alcohol this this will shock you i've never had alcoholic eggnog ever it is shocking that is
that weird i i don't i think you say non-alcoholic eggnog is what you meant to say i've never had it
without alcohol no i've never had eggnog without it do you guys like i love it yeah yeah
yeah love it yeah love it yeah absolutely love it yeah i'm in we call it white horchata in my house
yeah yeah is it horchata white it was an ethnic joke sean oh okay yeah all right all right good
cool way to be yeah what's your first pick oh thank you shane uh i am going to take
all my all my first rounders are on the board still let me think here nice all right i'm gonna
take i i think something that could be unfairly maligned as basic but it is indeed basic i'm
going to take the genre of film loan as the romantic comedy ah you my man yeah yeah that was on everybody that was
on everybody's list i feel like yeah i love fucking rom-coms but sean had to get white
claws in the first round you know i didn't i didn't think i honestly didn't think it was
gonna go till way later but yes a good especially around the holidays oh romantic comedies i do i
do think like there is a and we should say it since we're three dudes
a lot of stuff that is traditionally just enjoyed by women gets written off as basic and i think
rom-coms sometimes fall into that that for sure does but but rom-coms are kind of basic they are
they're very basic but they're still great like when harry met sally is a basic movie but it's
fantastic i fucking love it. I love it.
I love that for some reason,
these guys have $14 million apartments and we have no idea what they do for a living.
Right.
You never know.
It's wish fulfillment.
I mean, it's like an escape to what a perfect life
that you could kind of see yourself in would be.
Yeah.
Most of these people have a normal-ish job but they're
just doing fantastic at it i mean meryl streep and it's complicated owns a bay owns a bakery in
santa barbara she's a baker and like already has a dream house that she's renovating to make even
more of a dream yeah and she hires steve martin to renovate the actor he plays himself banjo ass steve martin comes over and renovates it's amazing and like some of these are like high
art you know when harry met sally you know what any of those nora efron movies like some of you
know they're fucking amazing that's how i think it's just a timeless movie though like it's a
timeless movie but i'm a little more farther down the trough, like your Gary Marshall films, things like that.
I love those, too.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
I love it.
Love Actually.
Failure to Launch.
All that shit.
Failure to Launch is legitimately a bad one.
Yeah, it's a bad movie, but I'll watch it.
No, wait.
So this is case in point.
McConaughey, he's a fucking...
He's not running for governor.
He sells boats.
And you're like... I mean, I know the whole thing is he lives with his parents but you get the vibe that he's
definitely not hurting for money you're like i don't i mean i love that there's like six jobs
that they ever have in the movies you know what i mean they all work advertising they all work in
jobs that are uh like an avatar for screen for hollywood you know what i mean for like being
a right like being working in advertising or working in journalism Hollywood. You know what I mean? For like being a writer, like being working in advertising
or working in journalism.
You write, you know what I mean?
It's like mental capital jobs.
Yeah, they're not exactly
what you would call creative industries,
but they're not far from like
milking creative industries.
They're creative adjacent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because the writer doesn't want to directly put
they're a Hollywood screenwriter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's about it.
But I love them all.
I love the but
guess what they both have pool tables in their offices right yeah they both stay up late with
chinese food containers open oh what's up absolutely uh they yeah they're fucking great i
love the meat cute i love things getting complicated in the second act and i love
the chase at the end i love every part of it i love romantic comedy do you have a favorite what's your favorite yeah uh god i mean let me let me let me close it up a little bit so like you said
like not a high art one and not like a quite like for me i would say high fidelity technically is a
romantic comedy but that doesn't count because it's also a ton of other things what's your
favorite basic ass romantic comedy basic i mean when harry met sally is my favorite rom-com and i don't know
if that's basic ass if i had to go even more basic it is but it sets the template for everything so i
think that's kind of why it's if i'm gonna go outside of that one i'm gonna say i i probably
is it's complicated that's my favorite nancy meyers one it's a good one it's and uh yeah that's
i think that's my favorite i like it more than meryl streep one that's mery one. And yeah, I think that's my favorite. I like it more than...
Is that the Meryl Streep one?
That's Meryl Streep, yeah.
And Alec Baldwin's Steve Martin, right?
Yeah, yeah.
John Krasinski at his most charming.
Never will he be more charming.
He's so charming.
He's definitely a hitch man.
That's probably my favorite.
Yes.
This is your fault, Sean.
I didn't used to like rom-coms, dude.
Dude, I'm a hitch man.
That's what I want. I just wanted a shoe-worn hitch in there.
I just love it so much.
Romantic comedies make you feel great.
That's my buddy, Will Smith.
That's your friend, Will Smith.
Our series to come out on Roku.
Our series to come out on Roku.
This joker.
Yeah.
Jesus.
I'm going to go.
I hate to do this to you, Sean.
Oh, no.
I hate to give you the left to do this to you, Sean. Oh, no.
I hate to give you the old left, the left right combo.
Oh, man.
I'm going to take.
Oh, there's two I could do here.
I'm going to do the singles of the musician Taylor Swift.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God. I did not.
I did not think. Holy buckets. I i'm gonna have to do some on the
fly thinking here i honestly i had my list i was like i'll be good i think i think tay-tay as sean
uh affectionately calls her has a lot of like songs that are not basic that go deep but like
her singles are fucking basic and i love them they are anthems for a reason i love i love shake it off
i love style i love all those songs i like uh dude style is like a perfect pop song it the beat when
the beat drops that everything about that song is just which one is style the you've got that
james dean oh yeah i know that one yeah i know that one yeah yeah it's
fantastic i knew you were trouble when you uh walked in yeah dude i can't shake it off as a
fucking hit yeah shake it i know that one i know that one for sure i know that one well i guess i
like i know i've heard taylor swift songs but somebody has to tell
me sometimes there's a taylor swift song blank spaces uh blank space is great i can't even think
of like almost every song off of 1989 oh love story dude what's the fucking one with like selena
gomez and everybody in the video um 22 bad blood that one is what i'm thinking of like it's yeah 22 just do something
like uh mean to jay jill and all single yeah what is this about she put out a 10 minute the song is
called all too well which is about when she was dating jay gyllenhaal when like she was 20 turning
21 and he was like i don't know whatever age jay Gyllenhaal was then, late 20s. And just how he
mistreated her.
She kept
her scarf, or he kept her scarf.
He didn't show up to her 21st
birthday. He was just
obsessed with youth, but not with her.
So, you know,
just a bad boyfriend. They dated for three months.
And she wrote a song.
Yeah, okay, well there we go.
That is pretty basic then. Taylor Swift,
like,
I forget the dude,
Scooter Braun bought her masters and then
sold them to some, like, Chinese company instead of
her. So now she's re-recording all her
own albums, which you can do.
You can re-record your own songs and putting them out again.
So they're like, it's Taylor's version.
If you go look on Spotify, it's like Taylor's version. Oh oh so she's kind of devaluing the catalog that the chinese will be
that's pretty impressive smart yeah so she's doing all that and like taking the power back and she
did a 10 minute version of that jake gyllenhaal song because she just re-recorded that album
and it just goes in even further it's also crazy to think that somehow the chinese government will
find a way to like topple us in this manner too yeah they're gonna beat us in the pop world too it's the taytay race they're not fucking around
dude they know what they're doing yeah as long as i don't have to hear jake jill and hall's rebuttal
song i'm gonna be fine with all of this like i don't think southpaw's putting out a rebuttal
anytime i like him as an actor i think he's pretty i love him as an actor he's great but yeah yeah
yeah taylor swift singles i had to take it i live with dana schwartz big taylor big taylor swift I like him as an actor. I think he's pretty good. I love him as an actor. He's great. But yeah. Yeah.
Taylor Swift singles.
I had to take it.
I live with Dana Schwartz.
Big Taylor Swift fan. I like that song she did with Exile with the Boney Bear guy.
She's great, dude.
I mean, those last two albums were so good.
I mean, all the albums are good.
There's like a little more depth to them than I thought there was going to be.
Honestly.
Yeah.
I liked her.
Evermore and Folklore, I think are the two of them.
Evermore is the one I'm thinking of the album, I think.
Yeah.
She's out here drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
Yeah.
Maybe a white claw every now and then.
Sean?
Me.
Me.
Well, I got to say it.
Me.
Me.
Shout out to Sean.
I got to say, I'd already said it, but The Mall.
Yeah.
I love The Mall.
I mean, it's got
to go i know it's not the most glamorous pick but it it i knew i know how much i love them all
because when i got the news about the lloyd center being sold and potentially demolished and and
developed like into whatever they're going to make it into it did it did like not in a joking way
but it did bum me out yeah the two The two of you specifically, well, the three of us spent so much time there, and it really
did because we all love going to the mall for all the same reasons, to go get a pumpkin
spice latte and just do all the other stuff you do.
Get a pumpkin spice latte and a hat.
Yeah.
And have a nice little Saturday.
Yeah, have a nice little Saturday.
The amount of people, and I'm sure all of our lives when I've said that and they scoff kind
of jokingly like I just made some witty, funny remark about the mall and I got to stop and
be like, no, I love malls.
I love them.
And I love going to the mall anytime.
I don't know that I can think of a time where I was like actively didn't want to go to the
mall.
Apparently, the kids are hanging out at the mall again apparently that's it's coming back yeah i don't know if any kids are listening but
go to the mall no they're not it's what's not to like the mall is so like i hate online shopping
man i have to do a lot of it for the holidays it sucks it sucks it's so not fun it like and this
was before like the the supply chain or whatever you know
like it just is like a bummer like you don't get to see it you don't get to pick it up it feels
less personal you don't get to go with a crew like it's shopping isn't fun shopping with your
friends is fun i like going with you guys being like i'm gonna get some goddamn like when she
when shane was getting his conan shirt and i almost pissed my pants because we were laughing
so hard that was one of the hardest i've ever laughed my whole life by the way but you guys were awful it was i'll remember
that for the rest of my life until my memory fades which i'm sure it will but that is because
we got to go to the mall is because i remember that fucking oh it was so fun it is a bummer
just to see lloyd center like shaved the fuck down to what it's a shell if you
i because i go in there every now and again i poke my head and just make sure it's not like
did i miss something are they nope still going downhill is there a wetzel's in here yet yeah
every now and again i'm like ah maybe i maybe i need something from h&m and i don't and it's
the training ground of uh felon and olympian tanya harding yeah yeah yeah clackamas town center oh is that clackamas
town center yeah which by the way that man i love the town center they got it all they got
they got a fucking merry-go-round they got the food court they got a movie theater sure clackamas
is keeping it going strong washington square is still fucking rocking and rolling dude like
washington square is where where we took shane after over 30 that's right i worked out of washington square the tgi friday's out there for
like a year and you stole that tv right no that was bennegan's yeah no they got the plaque up at
the tgi fridays yeah yeah shane torres worked here dude anyway man yeah the mall it's uh you know
we've i think we've covered the mall yeah If you'd like further content on them all,
listen to the very first episode
Sean, David, and I did together where we drafted
them all. Yeah, dude, I fucking love
them all. Shane, time for your second and third picks.
As to his.
For my second pick, I'm just taking emo
music. I still like it.
I can't.
I know. It checks
every fucking box anyone who's ever listened to this podcast has thought about me.
But I just.
This is music made by the comedian Emo Phillips.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm getting out of the shower.
And I just used Ian's body wash.
Let's talk about that.
You didn't have to lie to me, Shane.
I can smell it in the air.
Yeah, you can smell this in the air.
I was busy doing your dishes.
I had to get the stink off of me.
No, man.
Dude, I put on, we were just on the road for a week,
and I put on the promise ring,
wondering if anyone in the car would get it.
And Kyle turns around, he's like, little promise ring.
I'm like, yep, little promise ring wondering if anyone in the car would get it and kyle turns around he's like little promise ring like yep well promise ring work oh kyle and i went to riot fest together
right before the pandemic like yeah i still love like old emo like get up kids and uh i listen to
promise ring i mean i am going on tour with jaw i'm not so i don't know if i'm allowed to say
that actually with jaws no with a famous punk emo band kind of well they're not emo really but
joke all breaker yeah uh but i it's just fun and i it it's it evokes a very specific reaction that's
nice to get out of you i don't know what it is yes yeah and you can't take it it's a cathartic
experience and it does not age well now.
Like, from the early, like, lyrically,
like what a lot of the objectification of women,
some of these bands did and stuff,
like, it's very unhealthy.
I feel like it was more of, like,
I can't think of a lot of objectification.
I can think of, like...
Well, like, in the sense of, like,
what they think a woman should be like.
Oh, how they think a woman should just be the perfect... yeah yeah like it's like manic pixie dream girl shit or
whatever they're trying to yeah yeah okay i get what you're saying yeah i i find your lipstick
his collar angel you know yeah to be as true as ever that song is a masterpiece it's so good of
that it's so good and you made out with that guy yeah that's right yeah did you kiss him at bumper shoot am i crazy i think we did we smooch at bumper shoots
maybe i don't know if i think you guys were drunk and you like you didn't make out but
you're like play kissed you were oh yeah yeah charming charming gregarious ian yeah yeah that's
what happened yeah not like yeah the lead singer taking back sunday now this
was in a pre-covid world i want to remind everyone yeah and adam lazare is his name and you were
i know their names
that song is so fucking good i used to bop around westview high school go wildcats
screaming that yeah his lipstick your collar angel i know exactly what goes on
yeah you need to get it out you need to get that fucking energy out man that's not like
that's how life feels when you're like 17 18 all the way through 25 or whatever you know what i
mean you just feel those like basic yeah very strong emotions yeah they're intense but they're
um very elementary those are your problems at the time you don't you know those that's what's going on like so those i think about that a lot with max
because like her prop like her diaper could be a little bit wet but she'll scream like you know
it's filled with hornets or something because that's her problem that's her gauge jesus
mic her up get her a fucking three chord guitar riff behind it and mic her up that'd be pretty great
dude i almost recorded her last night so i could send it to you guys but i'd i sent it to adam one
time he's like nobody ever wants to hear baby crying and i was like you're right i shouldn't
just send recordings of her crying but it's so buck sometimes anyway i love an emo song i'm right
there with you no i love a parade yeah emo is great one was like you you went to riot fest the
last time i saw emo live was at a bumbershoot when i smooched the taking back sunday guy have you
has either of you ever been to emo night it's a blast even when i emo night dance party just
came unmuted i have i hovered over it so i could see i love emo night love it's a fun hey marissa
when you guys come back to new york we'll have to go to the Brooklyn one.
It's so much fun.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, I'm super in.
It's just anthems.
It's banger after banger.
So everybody, that'll come on.
Then Follow the Black Parade will come on.
And then the middle will come on.
And everybody loses their shit.
It's so fucking fun.
If you're listening.
Whoa.
It's just like, yeah. I mean, it's just like yeah i mean it's just like uh
it was like it'd be like 90s hip-hop night it's just everybody's playing anthem after anthem and
you just go just emo bangers yeah yeah and then everybody is wearing a jawbreaker t-shirts that
are a lot tighter than they used to be yeah that's what nobody cares which is also pretty great oh man i love emo music and your third pick your third pick
mr torres this one's kind of uh i get i don't know i'm sure i got the right way
i'm just gonna say dressing the same as you've always dressed i like like i for several reasons like i just i like not thinking about it i know exactly
what i'm gonna do and this is like what i'm expected to wear and then the joy of not trying
something new to try on like i i feel like if i wore a colorful sweater this weekend,
Sean would be like, well, what's going on here?
I like keeping it the same.
I'm not a good gauge, though.
I would make fun of anything you're wearing.
Dana got me a fucking colorful-ass sweater for Hanukkah.
You'll see pictures of it.
It's wild.
Yeah.
See, that's nice, but I like keeping like keeping it the same i guess it's like
clothing like like it's staying like you don't be like a lot of denim yeah i'll be dressed the
same in my 20s that i will in my 40s and probably into my 60s it'll just look sadder like that's it
i love it i love like not worrying about it. You dress comfy too. That's good.
I'm not dogging myself.
I like not thinking about it. I like it all staying the same across the board.
Yeah.
I'm absolutely with you.
Every now and again, I get something
where I'm just like, you know what? I'm getting a cranberry
sweater. I did this recently.
Got a cranberry sweater. I've worn it one time
and it's not
going to get a lot of play because here i am in the grays and the navy's i wore a cranberry
sweatshirt once and then i got a nickname the big cranberry so like it's kind of hard to see why i
would uh you know yeah we did we did bully you yeah it's the best nick somebody i don't know
i've numerous people i'm sure but why do you call
him the big cranberry and it's like he had a cranberry hoodie and once that is all that's
that's fucking dude i'm sure that happens with women too but that is male friendships where it's
like yeah years later you still call him the big cranberry it's like why what's the fun story did
he fall into a cranberry bog does he love eating cranberry does it no one time he wore a cranberry colored
sweatshirt it was kind of a slow sunday we were just hanging out like and it struck zach tuscany
as as as whimsical oh big cranberry yes it does sound it's fun to say when you know no no i get it
but god damn it it's like let's not call it like it's creative but like this that's one of the
reasons i stay in the in the genre i'm in my buddy i wore like three years ago i had a black
p coat i got for christmas i remember that coat you look good in that coat sure yeah i only wore
it once because sam evans saw me in it two days after new year's and was like you look like fat the matrix
and i never
you only wore that coat once yeah yeah it's still sitting in the closet haven't i seen you in a p
coat before though uh not this one okay yeah fat the matrix you should wear it fuck that yeah it
was a good burn too good a burn to wear a coat
i got hot it got hot in my coat all of a sudden you were the burn kept has kept you warm these
last several years yeah whenever i wear a coat i feel like people are looking at me like i think
i'm better than them which is such a crazy thing but i have a coat on and i put a coat on like who
the fuck do i think i am with a coat on out here wow i do i felt that
way forever uh it's a weird feeling i can't relate to this one i want especially once i lost the
weight i was like let me open fucking up every store in the mall dude because i want to i want
to i bet that does that make me one of the best feelings you've ever had amazing it feels so good
i just want i buy wild shit sometimes i buy some pants
i might wear wait till you guys weddings i'm gonna be all trimmed down i'm gonna show up in something
crazy i can't wait dude about to go about to go suit shopping i think over over christmas break
nice be dank yeah yeah taking sean out to get a measured and fit cut dude nice good tailored
he's gonna be i was gonna say we should go this weekend but that's definitely more of an ian aaron
than a Shane one.
Hope they got a little extra measuring tape for the crotch.
They don't make a dick pocket in your suit.
You've seen suits before, right?
What? Yes, they do.
You're fucking with me.
We can see.
In this movie, Lucky Number Slevin,
he makes a reference about the tailor asking
if he dresses to the right or the left.
Is that what a tailor asks? which side your dick hangs to i'm not kidding is that what is that what they're asking which way do you lie yeah seriously yeah crazy you can yeah yeah that's
crazy to think that it's i don't know it's just funny that they got to be like which which side
of which leg do you like i've never had a tailor ask me that. It's not like a common thing.
Do we have huge dicks, though?
No.
No.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
That's also...
Not from what I've seen on my online research, anyways.
My independent online research.
My state fund.
Anyway.
It's a pretty intimate question for a tailor to ask.
Yeah.
Also, just eyeball it you can tell what i was
wondering like does it matter or does it just like the higher up a tailor goes the more they ask i
can't see that really mattering i can't either unless you're like maybe i just don't have a huge
dick maybe it's a huge dick maybe it's for like athletes who have like suit pants that hug their
thighs and they kind of ripple through them muscular you know like maybe that guy when they're making them tighter i'll ask shack next time i see shack yeah which
type which way does your huge pro athlete dick fall i don't know i don't know that's that guy
with the suitcase and the guns i don't know uh sion time for your third pick chipotle i love chipotle damn it and i don't care and i never you
could a thousand people could get food poisoning right before i ordered and i'd be like ah come on
let's i know what i'm when you're doing that kind of business some people are gonna get food
poisoning it's gonna happen i never when everyone's someone's like oh chipotle and i'm like yeah it's
perfect again it goes into the mall but it's, yes, I want a perfect burrito right
there.
Quick.
It's four minutes and I have a burrito in my hand.
The best.
And it's what?
Seven bucks.
Everybody likes Chipotle.
When BTS was on our show, they had Chipotle for lunch.
Everybody likes Chipotle.
It's great.
Great.
It's the best Mexican food you're going to get in New York.
Mexican food out here is dog shit.
Yeah, that's weird. Why is that?
I guess we don't come this far north.
I guess so, yeah. North Daniels.
I just hate it when people try to rip on
stuff.
I feel like that's a lot of this
draft is the feeling
I get when people try to make fun of me for things
I like that are considered basic
where I'm like, just stop.
It's good.
It's fine.
There's better stuff.
There's better burritos if I got time.
If I'm in San Francisco, sure, I'll go down to the Mission.
I'll get a dank torpedo burrito.
But in general, Chipotle will get you there.
Yeah, it will get you there.
That's like putting that much energy
into every decision you make to not be basic
would be the most exhausting, irritating kind of person you've ever met.
Go down to fucking, go up to Northeast Alberta.
You'll see them all walking around trying to not be basic.
And uh-oh, now that they're all doing it, kind of basic.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, it becomes basic.
Sometime the snake eats itself.
That's what I'm saying.
The mall is becoming less basic, dude.
It's gone back around.
We're innovators.
I kept wearing baggy jeans, and look what's back.
The 90s.
Baggy jeans.
Your boy.
I'll tell you this about Chipotle.
The guac is extra.
You know what's fun about Chipotle is everybody always has their theories about what's free and what's not and what you can get by with.
People like gaming the system there.
Where everyone's like, if you ordered...
God, Tommy Johnigan had like four of them one time.
He told Zach and I, but it was something where he's like...
I was with you.
He said like you can order extra protein and it's always some crazy thing.
I was like, well, it's not free.
And he goes, yeah, you just have to stand up for yourself so you just gotta like be a dick about it and yeah like yeah
they'll give it to you free if you're a prick about it i'm sure because they don't want to
deal with because they make a minimum wage working at chipotle yeah and so but every you know i find
that chipotle people are like here's one that i didn't know until i don't know what but you can
like get the tortilla on the side when you get a bowl so you can like make your own little mini burritos exactly how you want them
and just have a couple with like green sauce couple with that chipotle tabasco real dick also
if you're like if you've been like on the road like i we seldom do and shane often does and
you're like i can't eat comedy club food one more time you can like sure it can get kind of healthy
at chipotle you know what i mean you can like you can do it you can do sure yeah it can get kind of healthy at chipotle you know
what i mean you can like you can do it you can do it yeah it's not like fun but it is um a way to
make sure you're not punishing yourself yeah you can get like a veggie and protein and a little bit
of rice you know sure and it's like it's fresh it you know fresh ish it's it's it's fine it's
especially like to your point like being on the road you eat like complete
trash when you're when you're backed into a corner so it's nice just to be like i see it right over
there across from the hotel i'm gonna go get that that will be decent for you yeah yeah anyway
chipotle chipotle chipotle chipotle bro time for my a third and my fourth picks as Tiz, a serpentine draft. Tiz. With my third pick, I can't believe I got it.
Take an entourage.
Oh, crap.
I was watching Entourage mere hours ago.
I swear on a stack of Bibles, five in the morning, I'm rocking Max to sleep.
Shouldn't you be helping your wife move?
I trust me.
What are you doing watching?
Hey, fuck you, buddy.
Why don't you shut the fuck up?
The Ron Irv.
Yeah, dude, I'm I'm helping.
Anyway, I was watching Entourage.
Seriously, five hours and 50 minutes ago, I was watching the episode where Josh went.
They go to lunch with Josh Weinstein and Frank Darabont tries to get Vince to do a TV show.
But Josh said Frank Darabont wanted Vince to do a movie.
Yeah, it's like a ruse that he pulled to get the lunch.
So, yeah, man.
Entourage for days.
Entourage.
I just thought it's a, it's another like wish fulfillment type TV show.
Uh, entourage ballers, I guess.
I'm like, I'm not, I'm not taking ballers, but that's the same thing a rom-com does.
But for like, but for dumb dudes, it's become very problematic.
Like the way they talk and everything but like yes uh as a as of its time kind of piece it was it was like oh yeah fucking let's play
texas hold them and then go watch entourage season two on dvd and that's fucking like that's a whole
weekend dude sit on the couch that you got from a friend who got it from a friend who got it from a
friend and talk about that's basically us that's that's all we did me and adam would sit on the couch that you got from a friend who got it from a friend who got it from a friend and talk about that's basically us that's that's all we did me and adam would sit on the couch and be
like all it is is one of us got famous and that's us yeah it's that's what that's what it felt like
yeah it's like throwing it on minus the rampant homophobia but like yeah it's i won't stick up for
for the show but it if you can find a way to remove that print in your in your in your viewing if you can get around it
or find a way then it's still it johnny drama is a hilarious hilarious dude jeremy pippen is really
funny in that chat like it's just it's just cool and like it's got the formula where like oh a
cliffhanger at the end of every episode and everything there's always an issue and it always
works out yeah and i know it's like bad but also it's like we all like die hard too.
And nobody thinks we should be vigilante cops.
Like I go.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I'm taking it in the dumb way it is.
It's kind of fun to watch these guys race cars through the Hollywood Hills or whatever
the fuck it is they do.
And I get it's empty calories, but I, I do enjoy it from time to time.
I love empty calories in my food and entertainment.
And I like it started off as like a fun idea for a show.
And then how fucking out of control it got real.
It was like, oh, yeah, it was just like, yeah, I'd love to be a Hollywood movie star.
That seems like an interesting idea for a show.
And then at the end, you're like, he's kind of a coke head.
Yeah, I listen to the podcast.
So if you listen to the podcast yeah it's awesome but if you watch in the beginning of the series vince and johnny had like
eight brothers there's a there's a meeting where vince is like i come from a house with
deadbeat dad and nine brothers or whatever later in the season you find out it's just him and johnny
also early on in the show they had the same father and then it, they had the same father, and then it switched.
They had the same mother, like three seasons in.
It's just one of those shows where even the writer,
he's like, on the podcast, he'll be like,
I told them, listen, no one's going to give a fuck if they do,
then the show's not for them.
It's just like, you're right, man.
Man, that's a fucking wild thing to still call yourself a writer
after a move like that.
Not even like packing a parachute. Well, they's boulevard that's the thing about it you
know from top to bottom are you kidding me it's again a thing we've talked about plenty on here
i just i've kind of formulated my draft to take sean jordan's picks and i've got them all serious
i got two sitting here and if you take them i'm gonna be bummed i don't think i will i think now
i'm gonna go pure i mean i liked all that everything i drafted i love but now i'm gonna i'm sure i'm shifting
gears a little bit sure and i'm going to take for my fourth pick actually i'll get to my fourth pick
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And we're back welcome back to all fantasy
everything already in progress um we're here right at the beginning of all lotion and cereal
it's a lotion cereal it's it's cereal floating in a bowl of lotion as a podcast time for me to make
my fourth pick my fourth pick is gonna be something i never thought i was gonna like
i always thought it was too basic i went as a kid i i loved it and then i was like that's it
it's not for me anymore it's fucking basic i think the adults who like it are weird
i'm taking disneyland yep absolutely oh yeah never been perfect place dude it's so fun it's so fucking fun it's great it's like
you just have like junk food you go on rides it feels whimsical you know what i mean like you're
yeah by the end of the day you're kind of spent you're over it you're tired of crowds but like
if you just let yourself go if you let you if you if you put the kite in the air and let it fly yep you will have a good fucking time dude yeah go go knowing what you're getting in like
appreciating what you're getting in for absolutely be ready to sit in like the the human version of
the 405 for a while but be if you're ready for that stuff then it's fine it's not nearly the
food is not nearly as expensive as you think it's going to be which is something there are places to sit and eat you can take breaks i'm with you and you know a big
dutch man will run into you with a stroller with three kids in it that's fine that's gonna happen
but like you just have to let all that go and then you're on fucking space mountain you're on
the indiana jones ride you're on pirates of the caribbean it's so it's just fun man it really is
built for you to have a good time and to spend money but to have a good time yeah and you do it it's fun it's it's amazing
it's really great i would maybe do it i think i might do yeah i'll go with you oh the only way
i'm going is if i go with you guys like i'm not yeah i don't go alone yeah but it is uh sean
brings his baby then we have an excuse that's true i'm not gonna have that kid ain't going for a minute because what's the point to bring him like a one-year-old
you know you bring them when they're like people do five or six yeah i mean that's the only point
is to take a picture so you can be like remember when we took you when we were one when you were
one yeah i shan't be doing that but i yeah i think going as a crew is rad they got a barbershop
quartet walking around it's great man yeah man
you can go to action adventure if you're feeling frisky and you can get some drinks yeah california
adventureland oh is that like a the adults across the way you can you can tell it's the one you can
drink at when you right when you get in there you're like ah you can drink here you can just
i wouldn't want to be drunk at disneyland no i wouldn't either but there are plenty of people
who do you see them where you're like you just got you got piled didn't you yeah so it's disneyland in california yeah and disney
world's in orlando yeah i've only been to disneyland and but it's amazing i love it there
i'm completely with you are they both big like is one better than the other world is bigger world
was first right or am i crazy no it was second was first yeah disney world was like their upped
version of it where they're like Epcot and everything.
They had a little more land.
Because it was Florida.
And they're giving it away down there.
It's great.
Robin Lopez, the basketball player.
Brooke and Robin Lopez love Disneyland.
And Robin Lopez put out his list.
Of what he thinks is better at each of them.
That's pretty fun.
And I feel like that's a pretty definitive list.'s pretty great yeah all right i took disneyland sean and it's time
for your fourth pick fourth pick uh this is probably the most basic thing i got but i'm
gonna pick netflix and chill okay sex well that's a sex thing the whole vibe of i mean honestly not really the sex thing i just
like netflix and chill so you've just been watching movies like net i mean kind of but i mean netflix
and chill is right i know what it is but it got that name from being you know netflix and chill
and then you make out a little bit no but netflix and chill got its name from hey what do you want
to do on this date it's like a fuck boy thing where it's like how about netflix and chill and then you make out a little bit no but netflix and chill got its name from hey what do you want to do on this date it's like a fuck boy thing where it's like how about netflix and
chill you want to come over watch a movie it means let's have let's fuck i know what it means i'm just
i like and maybe this can even make it like more basic i just like the idea of netflix and so
can i not pick it i just want it to be netflix and chill for real i don't know how i mean you're
just basically take like watching a streaming service.
When you say it like that, I thought it was going to be a little more fun.
I'm just wondering if that's what you're picking, watching a streaming service.
I can't pick that.
The topic is basic things you like, and I don't know how much more fucking.
Get it out of here.
All right.
I'll change it.
I'll change it.
I'm going to change number four to something specific.
How about this? Grey's Anat's anatomy yes yeah there we go that made my short that made my short list dude it's the i mean so during quarantine i've said for years for years that i was going to
watch gray's anatomy but it felt like you know i'd be actually sitting in la
ian would be at work and i'm like i can't very well start it
right now that doesn't feel like i'm down here it doesn't feel like i moved here to start gray's
anatomy while ian's at work i'll be honest it doesn't feel like something you start after a
jog and a real productive day it's something you start when there's a pandemic that you don't know
is going to happen yeah that's true that's when when covet hit i was like shit man like at everywhere is closed you could we
could go on walks but that was all the parks were closed we weren't going in stores or anything
uh laura was pregnant i was like this is like this is the time there's no i couldn't even go
do stand-up i could have written whatever but i was like i'm gonna watch crazy anatomy and we
watched i seriously for like a couple for a while they're like four
or five a day and I watched 300 and however many episodes there are in a year all of them and are
what are they 40 minutes yeah they're yeah like 40 44 like 43 44 minutes one of those but that's
enough time to get abs dude it is I trust me I mean I was out i was because you it freed up all the time in the day
but you're not absorbing all of it when you're doing this you were i would do it's just something
to have on you don't need to absorb it you can just look and be like all right so karev all
right so karev's doing this you just pick up real quick who's karev alex karev he's like the bad boy
yeah he's the one who he's the tim riggins of
seattle grace hospital say no more he was the closest to swearing out of any of them you know
he'd be like yeah so i'm screwing this chick that kind of that guy and you're like all right screwing
is so much worse he said it there's there's one time specifically when a girl comes in and he's
like they start making out and he's going through some emotional problems but he's like are we gonna screw and you're like easy easy easy uh but yeah man gray's anatomy you watched 16 236 minutes of
gray's anatomy how much time does it take to measure a year 270 hours yeah dropped it all
on laura one day all those stats we were just sitting on the couch because she would chime in and she'd be like, oh,
what?
I haven't seen this.
And then it'd be something she remembered.
And she's like, oh, I guess I watched this in college.
And I'm like, you fucking watched a lot more Grey's Anatomy than you let on to me.
Like you.
Like I got in.
How are we supposed to get married?
Yeah.
So what other secrets to you?
How many?
50?
Well, it's a lot. you know it's a big number
yeah man gray's anatomy love love gray's anatomy i love it i still love it it's still going man
scott speedman just entered the entered the story there's some new characters yeah the speed man's
on there dude that is like a thing that show has done for like 90s like semi heartthrobs
or people that had their moment of shine is like sure they do show up and they all of a sudden they
are a board certified ent on gray's anatomy the guy that played jackson avery i didn't know him
from gray's anatomy i knew him from cabin in the woods and then i'm going through the gray's anatomy
catalog little come to find out he got his start or his start to like pop culture fame on gray's anatomy
as dr jackson avery and uh anyway i just his mom is a very famous physician as well a lot of friday
night lights crossover with gray's anatomy by the way uh smash is in there like there's a lot of
people that are from friday night lights that made their way into gray's i'm serious well we
should do anyways anatomy podcast i'm sure there's a few
that's pretty good you guys should yeah no you're running at lights one anyway gray's anatomy
lovely yeah i like it better than sex or watching movies which is what i just tried to pick
very basic things i think i was i think i was fooled into thinking that it was the most basic
thing because it sounds so basic and in my
innocent mind I was thinking like
I know what it means. I'm not a dipshit
but I was just like I want a Netflix and chill
and I really mean it and maybe like a little
make out because I'm a sneaky little devil that likes to kiss
but neither here nor there. Isn't it
Snoopy little devil not sneaky little devil?
Sometimes I sneak them in. No it's Snoopy.
Yeah it's always Snoopy.
Time for your fourth and then your final picks.
Shane Torres.
My fourth pick, I am taking Jet Skis.
Oh, yeah.
It is.
Look, I'll be honest.
I rode one for the first time this summer.
Oh, you're never going back, baby.
Yeah, it is the dumbest way to feel fast and light at something.
But, man, is it exhilarating.
I haven't done it since I was 15.
I fucking love it.
I still think about it.
Yeah.
Oh, buddy.
You might as well go meet David in Bolivia, man.
I'm sure that's what he's doing right now.
I would.
It is so fucking fun and so dumb.
that it is so fucking fun and so dumb and there's not a lot that goes into it outside of like reverse and do this to go just turn your wrist forward to go fast
oh i bet you look glorious your hair i'll fucking on that oh there's video of it
yeah yeah go ahead and go ahead and get us that and your album from when you were a singer.
I would like my hands on both of those.
Yes.
Were you wearing Macho Man Randy Savage sunglasses?
Those blades?
I was not.
I was stuffed into a life jacket, and I looked like a busted tube of biscuits.
Where were you?
Did you say that already?
I was at Lake Powell.
It was me and I went with Canaan and a bunch of other people.
We got a houseboat.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that was that.
Did he tell you about this?
Yeah, a little here and there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We were taking forever.
The houseboat just was not, they don't move fast.
You know, like you just kind of find a place and dock them.
They're just mobile.
And we found this shore, because basically Lake Powell is the Grand Canyon filled with water,
is the best way to put it. It's beautiful.
But we docked on the shore, but it was in the middle of the night, so we couldn't see.
And Kanaane kept having
to like pull the boat out and redo it and then he ran it aground like he ran the boat aground and i
just heard him go fuck this boat really loud and it was like echoing off the walls of the canyon
like ran it aground like the great outdoors like just yeah like it was like on the shore we had to shove it off this oh that's so funny god that's yeah i love it yeah as an as a guy who
looks as an old looks like an old sea captain pretty uh pretty pretty fitting that's who you
want that's who you want on the fucking wheel yeah he was good at it was he wearing a greek
fisherman's hat i think he was wearing i think he was he definitely was wearing i definitely
saw canadian a captain's hat that weekend oh yeah man he was wearing it. I think he was. He definitely was wearing it. I definitely saw Kinane in a captain's hat that weekend.
Oh, yeah, man.
Yeah, he did.
Yeah.
It was so fun.
It was just like
there was a water slide
on the back of the boat.
God.
Just dumb shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys,
it was a good,
it's a good time.
Lots of hiking,
swimming,
cliff jumping,
that kind of stuff.
We should plan
a little
lake excursion that's all i want my bachelor party to be is that or like a just i don't want like
anything else around i just want the people i want to kick it with and that's it so i could go to
lake pow and get a get a houseboat let's fucking do it down lake a couple jet skis yeah a couple
seven eight jet skis we had that in a pontoon boat. It was a good time, man.
We could figure out how to play jet ski polo.
We'll just make it up.
Is it like a Polish game of polo?
Yeah.
Jet ski polo.
Jet ski polo.
Jet ski polo.
Jet ski polo.
And your final pick, Sugar Shane?
Oh, God damn it.
My final pick i i didn't this was um i really didn't have like a good fifth one
but uh i wouldn't say you've had a good one through four either so what's up all right
i was gonna pick uh
i was gonna pick the new york Times baking section. Oh, yeah.
All right.
Why not?
Yeah.
It's like it's so.
I know there's like this like poshness to the name with the New York Times before it's ahead of things.
So you just expect everything in it to be good as like a lefty liberal.
But that baking section sometimes is just fine.
Well, it's hit or miss with who you got going.
I still tell you, Alison Roman doesn't miss,
but she also might not be in the New York Times anymore.
But some of the people are extremely basic.
Yeah, and I just think it's funny to read it
and somebody's just like,
they're trying to describe their pumpkin bread
as something special
and then it's just a recipe for pumpkin bread there's
nothing different about it at all and i like that quite a bit yeah yeah yeah yeah and i like the
contrast of that with the jet skis dude just just kicking back on your jet ski reading the new york
times steering with your feet just laid back like what are we on a lake i didn't even notice
sipping a sipping a psl listening to Taking Back Sunday, wearing jeans that look like they have roots
growing out of the bottom of them.
All right.
That's been years.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's never going away.
It went away.
It's like the Chernobyl of fashion.
What do you think that means?
It's never going away.
Chernobyl, I think people can live there again.
So they say.
I ain't moving there yes oh you're yeah oh sean your final pick uh christmas lights oh yeah oh that
was on my list i forgot about that i mean complete and utter captivation from christmas lights any
if i just see a twinkle i'm just like oh And I'll go blocks out of my way, drive by
him, just for like one little bulb on a
window. I love it. I love him.
Sue Carmel, St. Sue, had the lights
up on the crib over Thanksgiving.
Already? Already. I'm going to bring
Maxine over to see her this week.
Oh, she'll love that! I know, we
discussed it.
What's that lane in Portland that you can
walk?
Peacock Lane.
Peacock Lane.
You can always tell when someone's new or some turmoil's going on, maybe a divorce or something, because it's all dope.
And then there's one house where there's a candy cane in the front yard, like a cardboard
candy cane.
Yeah.
You have to decorate, though, on that street.
Is that a thing?
Yeah.
You have to.
They say it's in the agreement.
Also, can you imagine being the prick who doesn't? that's insane yeah i can you move to peacock lane i absolutely can't for me it's like i spent five hundred thousand
dollars on this house and you're gonna tell me i have to put fucking lights on it yeah yeah what i
found out is that would make me so mad they'll do it for you if you don't want to they will like
that's not going to be amazing but they'll come decorate for you if you don't want to they will like that's not going to be amazing but they'll come decorate for you if you don't want to like they get it they get it done so i
will go crazy my fucking my house would look like the jewish vatican yeah it's the excuse to do
anything you like as over the top as you want to be you could just like true you could have i do
like that and that is yeah i mean you could just put the star of david everywhere i mean everywhere your whole
yard every part of your house like clark griswold be sick anyway i'd have a giant dreidel christmas
yeah dude that'd be sick they have to do that in the french quarter in new orleans there's only so
many things you're allowed to do to your oh yeah yeah i like that you know what i mean like i like
i like that in new orleans on peac Peacock Lane in Portland, Oregon.
I'm kind of doing the whole thing in Eastmoreland, too, where you can see it's like getting developed
and you see all these rich people butt and heads like.
I paid two million dollars for the house and I want the neighborhood to stay the same.
And they're like, well, I paid two million dollars and I want to change it.
You're like, oh, yeah, well, you're both doing just fine.
So, yeah, calm down.
Yeah, that's it.
Calm down.
Shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
Christmas lights.
Love them. There are so many picks left on the board that it. Calm down. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Christmas lights. Love them.
There are so many picks left on the board that I wanted to take.
I had such a deep bench, dude.
Such a deep bench.
We're basic.
We're basic.
Yeah.
All right.
I got I'm going to take a Trader Joe's.
Oh, damn.
That's the sneakiest one. There you go. Love a TJ's, dude. It's sneakiest one there you go love a tj's dude it's basic as
fuck but i love a cookie butter i love i love their prepared meals i love their the pot stickers
i love i'll just like everything they got going on there i love their their wraps their hummus wraps
yep i just love a trader joe's trip dude you know what i love about trader joe's no matter how
crowded it is they are dedicated to getting the line moving like they are on shout out to everyone
who works at trader joe's you guys are the fucking yeah navy seals of grocery stores they got like
line coordinators at the one on um 39 as long as i see the line is trying to be handled yeah i might
it relieves so much stress now i so i have to tell you this
both of you but ian specifically i forgot to tell you this the other day and it has to do with a
line of sorts so we're getting off the plane and you know how like uh every row is supposed to get
off and then the people behind you are supposed to go but there's always those people that stand
up from the back and try to bum rush yeah i always i always put my legs out and i had that about five hours ago and i let these people fucking have it yeah good i always put my
legs out and just be tall like i just fan out and like i spill into the aisle enough to where you
can't get by me unless yeah you should be if you're like elderly or you like you have a reason
but if you're just connecting flight i mean that i understand but yeah so anyway this dude is behind
me clearly just wanted to go did it wasn't it didn't seem urgent but he was looking at me and i just had my arm out
and i got out and i i was gonna go like step back and let the two women go that were in the
you know uh in the window but he kind of pushed a little bit so i just went and he was gonna go
and i go hey let them go and then he just stepped back and looked down. I just, I thought of you immediately.
Cause I was like,
Oh,
that was cool.
Good for you.
Yeah.
I was so pumped.
Anyway,
social justice reminded me.
Yeah.
That's society right there.
I love that shit.
And I,
he just looked down and cause you know,
he knew he's like,
these are two old women like that.
He wouldn't,
wasn't going to let go.
And he's like,
all right,
sorry.
I had to shove a guy
if you like a month ago or so on the plane on the plane some dude like the same thing where i was
like you know in the row in front of him yeah and he like tried to do some weird yeah some weird get
around your shit jujitsu like he put his bat like he put his bag like so my foot was out because i
was where i was like kind of standing and then he like put his bag in front of my foot like this weird yeah just weird it was like weird
and he was like right like all up on me like kind of trying to shove past me kind of thing
and i just had to put my hand in his chest and like push him back because i'm like we're not
doing this what are you doing you know he's like get your hands off me that's assault and i'm like okay buddy all right well did you also make a
fucking stink about wearing a mask on this plane like you it's the same kind of attitude he was
like a big computer programmer ass looking dude and just like didn't didn't whatever whatever
wherever that might have gone he did not have that gear yeah in his box you know what i mean
it's just like all right man i love it i get that everybody wants to get off the fucking plane you know but
like but also everybody wants to get off the plane yeah yeah it's like i was fucking fried
this morning when i got off that flight but it's just like oh dude i'm waiting my turn
i'm done if it's a fucking one hour flight to san Francisco. I'm done. I don't care how long I fly first class everywhere and I'm done.
I'm ready to get off that plane.
It sucks.
Being on a plane.
It's just different degrees of sucks.
Yeah.
Just reminded me of that.
I thought it was,
I thought you'd appreciate it.
I do.
You were right.
You were right.
Trader Joe's is my final pick.
We,
uh,
Marissa,
do you have one?
Uh,
yeah,
I had a hard time thinking about one,
but for me,
I think you'd be
throwing up peace signs for photos oh that's perfect man you constantly come through with
the dope ones that's every time yeah oh yeah that's really good uh well to recap shane you
went first you took pumpkin spice latte emo music dressing the same way you've always dressed the
jet skis and the new york times baking section john you went second you took white claws the mall chipotle gray's
anatomy and christmas lights i went last and i took rom-coms taylor swift singles entourage
disneyland and trader joe's left a lot of shit on the board i didn't have a ton of blink 182 oh the music of sublime yeah college football oh that's huge taco bell god you are
basic yes sampler platters malcolm gladwell malcolm gladwell target jaeger bombs music festivals
brunch that kind of stuff yeah that kind of stuff you would get a pier one imports that has like
quotes on it yeah
sue carmel has that all over the crib and like every you know like anytime i think about it in
the abstract i'm like oh that's kind of basic and like i'll find myself reading those things
she hangs up and being like yeah and like actually drawing inspiration or comfort from it it's like
you're watching no one's watching kind of stuff stuff like that yeah but and like or like live
with intention and blah, blah, blah.
And I was like reading it and I was like, oh man, yeah.
It reset my thermometer in my head a little bit in a good way.
It's like, okay, maybe that is basic or whatever it is.
But it actually works.
It's dope.
It's fucking rad.
I love that shit.
Hell yeah.
There's so many basic things out there.
We want to hear what you would pick.
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Oh, yeah.
I signed up for one.
I'm not sure I've gotten the email for it yet.
I'll have to go look.
You should check the Slack for it.
Okay.
I'll check the Slack.
Make sure I get that sent out. Shout out to AFE Slack. Shout have to go look. Oh, you should check the Slack for it. Okay, I'll check the Slack. Make sure I get that sent out.
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And more important than all of that, tune in again
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Shaklackity yeah
good job that was a hate gun podcast