All Fantasy Everything - Best Places to Drink Where You Shouldn't Drink (w/ Sam Tallent, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

Y'all know why they make rules? TO BE BROKEN. Guest:    Sam Tallent @tallentsam IG: @samtallent Tour Dates: samtallent.com Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.  Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting best places to drink where we shouldn't drink. Joining us today is comedian, writer, and host of the Chubby Behemoth podcast, Sam Talent.

Sam will be performing stand-up comedy in a city near you, and you can find tickets and info at samtalent.com. That's S-A-M-T-A-L-L-E-N-T dot com. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and as always, I'm joined by my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is suffering from various maladies. Yeah, we're down. We're down bad, bro.

We're down. And we're still here. It's going to be a quick one. Sean's shooting blanks. My ear's leaking. I have COVID. I literally have COVID. You have COVID? You do, don't you? And Ian's got long COVID. I've got some sort of long COVID situation. Sean's on the middle of a two-day hangover too sean's got long balls yeah long balls this is the worst idea we've ever had to do one right now i didn't even think about that sam has active covet sean's got nuts

where it's like an anaconda slowly curling around them basically that's what is that your medical condition yeah that's what i don't know i was Valium. So the doctor said a bunch of stuff. Yeah. I didn't get most of it. I had to have him go get Laura to come in and like, listen to what he was saying. Cause I was like, I don't know, man, you're all done. You need an advocate. You're all done.

He did the thing. It's like 12 minutes. And I was like, well, I, you know, I don't, I bet I don't retain a lot of this information cause now I'm stoked that it's over. And look, doc, your money's on top of the dresser. Get out. Here's a hot towel. information because now i'm stoked that it's over and look doc your money's on top of the dresser i don't pay you for the vasectomy i pay you to get out of here you had an at-home vasectomy that's the thing about urologists you don't pay him for the vasectomy you pay him to leave you know this group i was about to expire

that's your glass of water in his face. I said, get the fuck out. Fuck out. You told him dealer's choice, right? Like, you can give me the vasectomy, or you can just switch some tubes around down there, and we'll see what happens. Well, I had a gun and a butterfly knife out,

and I was dealer choice, or you leave. That's the third choice. He told us a butterfly knife. That's what we did the vasectomy with, was a butterfly knife. Oh, God. Gun or a butterfly knife. South Dakota what we did the vasectomy with, was a butterfly knife. Oh, my God. Gun or a butterfly knife. South Dakota sucks.

Yeah, he flew back. Yeah, I had to fly there because the insurance laws are different, so I went and got it done in South Dakota. Yeah, you put the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable. You shouldn't be allowed to have a vasectomy if you pronounce it vasectomy. You're vasectomy. You know what I just figured out is they're ectomy-ing part of your vas deferens. I never knew why.

I knew the ectomy part, but I didn't know the vas was short for vas deferens. Oh, you never got to the bottom of the etymology of that? I never cared. I knew the ectomy. What's the vas? That's removing something. It's the ectomy. I got the ectomy down.

The ectomy part of your vas is what they do. Oh, man. But I'm good. I'm in a great mood. I love you guys. Episode nine. That makes nine episodes in a row that we've kicked off with vasectomy talk yeah man did you get a vasectomy i fresh off the market dude no more kids for me i just want you the listener at home to know that we know

just in case you're like do they know that they've been talking about sean's vasectomy nine episodes in a row we know how much we've been talking about sean's vasectomy nine episodes in a row. We know how much we've been talking about Sean's balls. There's not much that goes by that we don't know what we're doing. You know, people say that. No, there's been a profound emphasis on the vasectomy talk. Yeah, there's all kinds of shit I do. This has primarily become a vasectomy podcast. Then I will ectomy the vasectomy talk from this unless somebody

brings it up i will not bring it up anymore we're gonna close the we're gonna close the briefcase one last look at the goods it was a big deal okay yeah to you it doesn't affect me at all. Specifically to me, yeah. I did this podcast with COVID, too. So what? What's going on? So did I. Everyone who's had COVID has done this podcast with COVID. Most people did.

David's never had it, right? No. I'm a gold star. You are still. I'm so old. Gold star. I thought I had it this week for sure, though. I was like, they finally got me.

This is my third time Like the first person I know who got it Emily like locked him upstairs. She was face time. He was just up there behind the stairs i want to go outside with my friends how long how long were you like were you in solitude were you secluded with like a long time like two weeks well this is like this was december of 2020 so yeah it's forever so you were like fully two weeks yeah no contact on the landing not allowed in the. I had to sleep in a sleeping bed. Him and Gordy were up there. Yeah, I was rattling a can on the bear stand just doing this move.

Me and Mel were going to make free Sam Tee t-shirts. Yeah, it was terrible. And then David and my sister and Mel, I told them. This was when people were still very afraid before we had more to handle on it it and i was like yeah guys i got bad news i have covet and they just laughed at me and made fun of me and i was like well i might pass away from this yeah yeah when the vaccine came out only nurses were getting it at that point yeah it's like i have every comorbidity but hey laugh it up guys I'll just be up here morbidly obese with COVID laying on the ground like a slug. Yeah, his little book.

Yeah, you guys are putting money on my book, so Emily would buy me more fruit roll-ups. Yeah, he can't run out. That's dope. Speaking of fruit roll-ups, a lady on the flight back to portland gave me uh gave me just some fruit snacks yesterday just a lady i put her bag you know when like there's a lady who's a little bit older and you're like can i put your bag up there yeah i did that and she was so gracious that like five minutes later she tapped me and was like here you go and snuck me some like just some like welch's fruit snacks fucking made my

day i love that do you ever have it i i did that recently on a plane but then i forgot to take it down because i just like was late when we landed oh yeah and then i wonder if she thinks i'm a dick for that because she was so nice when i put it up and then i just bailed she came on too strong you gotta play a little hard to get if you're an old lady with luggage. If any of you are listening right now, just know that. You know what I mean? Don't be too gracious because if you start to like us too much, you know, we have low self-esteem

and then we're like, why do you like us so much? And we think less of you. Yeah, I'm not returning your texts. Tangled web. You know. The new move on planes for me is when people try to get off before, like, you know how the rows are supposed to exit row is when people try to get off before like you know how you the rows are supposed to exit row by row yeah but the people who jump the gun and try and get off right away yeah i put an end to that i yell i put my whole body out there oh i do well i'm in the

window though because i'm not a mutant so i stay on the window if i was on the aisle i'd get out there and you know plug the finger in the dike like a little dutch boy that's exactly what i do and i put i put my elbows out and everything no but now i just yell hey yeah go ahead fuck me i'll just be over here fucking myself i don't need to get off the plane i'm not a human being go ahead there's no order on this plane who cares fuck me run it i'll fly wherever this flies next i'm not even getting off so so you go ahead. I'm going to San Diego. Yeah. You say stuff to them when they get up and do it? Oh, dude, I blast them. I really like that.

I really like that. Someone has to do something. It's a society. It's a society. It really is. Not a fair. People out here just fucking, where do you got to be? Unless there's like an announcement like, hey, there's connecting flights.

Or if you're like connecting flight thing, you got to be like a gotta be like a suit you gotta just that's when i get off the plane though yeah if they say hey connecting flights i put my hat in that ring i'm like oh sorry guys i gotta get to grand rapids i got more of a connecting car waiting for me outside but it's still a method of transportation i got a connecting american spirit blue. I got to get to. That guy who recently got a vasectomy, Sean Jordan. Sean has joined on Twitter. That's funny. He should bring it up.

On Instagram. Sean, way more than zero tickets sold in Seattle, Washington this past weekend. I'll tell you that. Seattle showed up. They killed it. Thank you to every single person who came out. If you'd happen to catch me at that midnight show on saturday here we go boy am i sorry i was i was in no condition and i knew it i knew it at nine o'clock and i still went and so i am so sorry i did the job so well four times and then the one show i did for fun was uh just an absolute mess so i'm sorry i tried i didn't go to that midnight show i was in bed so all my entire sean experience was

four absolutely stellar stand-up comedy sets you are very funny right now my friend you are always funny but your set is very funny right now what a backhanded compliment no no you know what i mean i know what you mean your head out of your ass finally you know when you're you know when you're hitting and you know when you're just kind of up there repeating jokes you know what i mean absolutely there's a no i appreciate it i do and i appreciate it so thank you to everyone in seattle except for saturday night what happened on saturday night saturday night midnight show boy i don't know when it's gonna stop bugging me but according to nick man pay sean did some sort of mass shooter joke or something like that i can't Saturday night, midnight show. Boy, I don't know when it's going to stop bugging me, but it's not right now. According to Nick Mampay,

Sean did some sort of mass shooter joke or something like that? I can't. I have a joke about like a wedding. You did a D.L. Hughley impression. You did Steve Harvey. I have a joke about a wedding where it's like sitting in a clock tower across the street. I mean, it's in portes most of the time,

but especially right now. And I guess I said like, you guys cool with it? And they're like, uh, and I did it anyway. And he did it. Anyway. He did the Steve Martin, the entertainer joke. Was that what we were talking about?

What was the joke we did on the Caleb podcast that involved? Oh, Martin. What was it? Steve Martin Lawrence. Steve Martin Lawrence. Steve Martin Lawrence. Yeah, Sean did Steve Martin Lawrence. You know, I was going to try out Ian's new theory.

Seattle, you're amazing. Thank you so much. Faded Portland officially starts June 30th. Migration brewing on Williams. Come out. There's only about 30 tickets left. So get one. Who's on it?

Kyle Kinane. Yeah, we got Kyle headlining the first one. And then we're cooking up. Who? Kyle Kin name. You guys should try and book Steve Harvey Milk. And you all can think of what that might sound like. I was really watching that go.

Like you were really working on it. I was just debating if i should do the voice or not we're actually i'm gonna i'm gonna book i'm gonna book the for the july show it's gonna be bernie macklemore i think it's gonna be a fun one bernie macklemore and ryan lewis oh man uh yeah so you know um the august show is gonna get is gonna be hamburgess meredith and the earthquake erotes man we got some real bank keep your ear to the streets for the next headliners we're sparking it off on june 30th there you go. Now, this is an audio medium, so you can't see Sean Jordan's mustache, but the man is rocking a fine mustache.

I feel like it is a beard or a goatee. No, it's just I shaved this dash, and then the rest. My beard grows in like a goatee as it's getting even, but I assure you I did not shave it into a goatee on purpose. Well, there needs to be kind of a name for what you got going on, because it's a hard five o'clock shadow, but with a nine o'clock mustache. You know what I mean? It's like a swing shift longshoreman.

Yeah, it's a swing shift longshoreman. Yeah, it sells speed. He's headlining September. It's an SSLS. Yeah, I'll take it. Yeah. I don't know. I'm liking it for the first time ever.

And I know I closed the briefcase, but as I recently i have a vasectomy come on now you knew what was what are we doing a podcast what are we what are we doing does nothing we say mean anything anymore like what like he doesn't give a shit how can we even tell you about us you're the same guy who does all of our advertisements you know what i mean so like what do you think I've been talking about on those? Out of one side of your mouth, you're saying no more vasectomy talk. And then all of a sudden, more vasectomy talk. If you're saying like, oh, hey, this American Giant sweatshirt or whatever, insert ad here, is great. You know what I mean?

How can they even take you seriously on that? How can they trust that blue shoes are going to keep them hard all night? Better help and Manscaped both hit me up. And they're like, what does a vasectomy have to do with our product i was like don't worry about it go get one and then talk to me if you blow it manscaped they both hit you up yeah one false move manscaping and you got yourself that vast you got a vast difference between the man you are now and the man you used to be all right i'm done talking about it all right june 30th faded there it is see if you can make it 12 minutes. Yeah.

I'll make it the rest of this. Top the clock. MRF and show. I bet you bring it up again. It's going to happen. He's just not going to talk. That's how it is. I got to go poop.

You guys keep going. Don't push too hard. Yeah. You don't want to tear your wound. I'm not going to bring it up. I'm not. David Borey is here. Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram.

No longer on Twitter. No longer on Twitter. Just to remind y'all. Yeah. This comes out next week. Yeah. June 10th and 11th. Come see me at Riot in Houston.

Ooh, there we go. Hey, David, if they try to have a third show on saturday do not do it yeah it sounds like it's fine is it a midnight show you said don't do it i just did i already said i was gonna do it oh they're adding it i assumed you were i assumed you would that's why i texted you how was right oh it was great right rules i love those guys down there it's just like that that third show could have just been a packed second show but instead we divided and conquered the last two shows oh well sick so you guys heard it here first come to that midnight show on friday yeah yeah it's great great bar staff that's it's a great room you're gonna have a blast no it looks like they have a bunch of fun people there too so yeah come to that uh i'm gonna

be in bozeman montana like bozana when you're there okay come on man let me get through it yeah coming off the bench fucking dion waiters over here dude i'll come in uh yeah june 25th i'm gonna be at last best comedy bozeman montana uh you know come to those are any of us performing in south dakota soon yeah oh you know what i am performing in what sean claims is his home state but i've never heard them say anything about him you can't look at me there you go there you go sam's gonna be there too we're both headlining wow there you go because they just couldn't think of any locals.

Who else do you get? Yeah, they couldn't think of anybody who had been born in Rapid City to come to that festival. Sean, they wanted to sell tickets. That's all. Yeah, that was the issue. I'm now mad at Sam. I said, let's bring the boys. The guy from the Jersey Shore?

What does he have to do with it we had we attended a ufc fight one time and he rubbed me the wrong way and now i'm mad at him and you went to a ufc fight with the situation we weren't with him but he was like two seats in front of me and and your girl snooki and your boy charles barkley was behind me so i had had some seats. Were you there with Alex Jones? Oh, yeah. Is this your Alex Jones lunch? The next day was the Alex Jones thing. That night I was with Doug. We weren't with anybody.

He just got tickets. But the next day was, yeah, we had lunch with Alex Jones. And why don't you like the situation? I was kidding. I just was saying the situation that you guys are headlining in South Dakota. And then that turned into. Where were you born? I was born in Rapid City, South Dakota. Oh, that turned into where were you born? I was born in rapid city,

South Dakota. Oh, that's where I'm going to be. That's where I'm going to be. Bismarck, North Dakota. Yeah. Yeah.

So come to that just cause I'm in a pretty good mood. We're just going to give it to me the whole time. I can take it. It's fine. Faded Friday, June 17th, Denver, uh,

headliner, Ramon Revis. And then Saturday, June 18th, rapid city, South Dakota, where Sean may or may not have been born. It hasn't been proven. David will be there June 18th, which is my graduation party. He'll be up there.

You're going to be there, aren't you? I'm there the 17th. I'm headlining the 17th. Oh, I got to try to get out of that. Well, maybe don't. That's the thing, though, dude. They literally moved the festival to accommodate our schedules so like we can't fail now jesus i would have just gone and i have a kid maybe sean covers for david

what if i can sub for sean yeah did they listen to this show they would have booked you he doesn't even know he doesn't even know who puts it on it's not like we're talking about california or new york streets we're talking about south dakota i've been over there they said they never heard of you david boring i'll come knock that fucking ear infection right out come do it come do it i'm on south logan street bring all your South Dakota friends. Obviously I don't have any. David. You have some in Denver. I know. You should have a crew. Adam will show up and fight you. He's a lunatic.

But yeah, so, you know, don't worry about that June 18th date. That might be Sean's date. I'm going to take it. Do you want it? We can start talking about that right after this. No. That is a fluid date. You do want it. I want to take it. Do you want it? We can start talking about that right after this. No, that is a fluid day.

You do want it. I want to be invited. I don't want your extra ticket. I want my own ticket. I want my name on the list. I don't want to be your plus one. I don't want to bite you a sandwich. I wanted you to have gotten me a sandwich.

I want to hang the wedding invite on the fridge, not a text message from you saying, sure, you can come with me. that's exactly what it is yeah sure i guess i guess i guess they gave me a plus one or whatever they said you have to bring like a cookie because there's zero food for you but yeah you're one of those protein cookies they sell in a gas station like a 40 because you don't get anything at the wedding. So make sure you check out David in South Dakota,

Rapid City. Sam Talent is here. Hey, guys. The man is at Talent Sam on Twitter, at Sam Talent on Instagram. Now, remember to spell talent with two L's because just too much talent for one. Lots to love. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you for having me, guys. I'm very glad to be here uh june 10th chicago lincoln lodge i think there's tickets left we're trying to add a second show june 15th denver comedy works downtown let's sell it out for the love of god come on christ on the cross please come on downtown all right? Come on. And then, hey, this is why I wanted to be on this, because the 22nd, I'll be up there in Portland at Helium Headline.

Now, wait a minute. Portland, Oregon? That's right, guys. This is the number one Portland, Oregon podcast, so hopefully... It probably is. Now, Sam, I don't want to say too much here, but maybe I'll come hang out at the show. Well, I was going to request you come do time on the show. Done deal, my friend.

Not if it's late on Saturday. You don't want this problem. You don't. You don't. You don't want. If I have had four good shows prior to a midnight show, then you don't want that kind of set. You baldy. Four good shows and eight good drinks.

You don't need. This is a Wednesday at seven, Sean. So we won't be too tight drinks you don't need this is a wednesday at seven sean so max will have just gone to bed if you are here i'd like you to come meet my daughter well this can be off i'd like you to come meet my daughter though and see my house oh i'd be on if you're here during the day let's figure it out i'll be up there too tight yeah great times uh yeah so go see that that'll i can't imagine people aren't going to want to come see you in portland i'm sure that show will sell out so get your get your tickets quick i'm supposed to have been up there the last two times the siren theater canceled because of some like

life-ending storm that never ended happening so portland's been about four years well you're doing the siren they no no i'm doing helium oh you're doing helium yeah you? No, no, no. I'm doing helium. Oh, you're doing helium. Yeah, yeah. Go to helium. June 22nd, Wednesday. Sean Jordan on the show. Jump on those tickets, all family, because those will go quick. Are you going to get Kyle on, too? No. Oh. Kyle has to babysit Sean's baby.

Yeah, what are you doing? Max is doing. Coming? Come on. Kyle's like, hey, baby. I look like you. We look similar. I think at one moment, she's also dressed like the captain of the forest, baby. I look like you.

She's also dressed like the captain of the forest like he was at my wedding. You want some pork rinds? I don't know. Babies do pork rinds. He dressed like he knew voodoo. That was crazy. That was a wild fit. At Kristen Rann's wedding, me and Kyle dressed exactly the same, and he hated it.

We both had a pink shirt on with a bolo tie, and people kept being like, you the same and he'd be like yeah we do i hate it and i was like this is fun without talking about it it just happened like that huh oh yeah we didn't like i didn't hit him off and be like it'd be weird if they talked to me and he hated it still hey kyle do you have a miniature version of this shirt i'm planning on wearing but a longer bolo tie yeah but yeah samtalent.com check it out beautiful uh my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on jewish perhaps suffering the effects of long covid app right now i had also had two shows in seattle thank you so much to all you seattle washingtonians for selling out those two shows coming out hanging tough randy johnson came steve largent was there it was amazing uh does rj still live in in seattle

he flew in from phoenix he took the chopper he sat he sat up front dude nobody could see shit it was terrible randy johnson could fit in a chopper like a chinook one of those yeah like like a military transport chopper you're talking about like a black hawk down if he lays down on the chopper i think he's good or like hangs his feet out. Yeah. I had to get off stage the first show. I almost like fainted. Granted, 45 minutes into it, but it was so hot. Oh, you did your time. I did the time.

I did my time. You did the time. Yeah. I did the time, but I left halfway through the last joke, which is like a long story joke. And I was just like, I'm sorry. I think I have to go. I think I'm gonna i think i'm gonna faint right now and like i got off stage and like man my body temperature went all catty

wampus a bunch of times i felt like super cloudy it was like it was real weird dehydration big dog i think it might have been on those fluids man yeah the night before wasn't like you know it's not like we were reading the bible all night so it could have had something to do with that we had a bit to drink i think it was that but then like i also still feel very foggy today and everything so i think you know listen if if you if you get covid just pay attention to your body afterwards and you know yeah see how you're feeling because i'm very sleepy still but still did the second show yeah it made me do the second show sitting on a stool yeah coffee house carmel real coffee house vibes and i kind of liked it it was slow slow and fun i had a real good time prior in

berkeley i was doing one of those stand-up specials where it's like it doesn't have a lot of laughs in it but like vulture writes about it a lot you know like one of those ones yes get him ian be the voice for the voiceless i'm just sitting there not a lot of jokes you know yeah it was very interesting you mean industry darling industry darling i was an industry i had an industry darling set in uh in seattle washington post humor yeah it is we i like post humors i don't want to man we've already done this i was just sitting there knocking them back the whole time apparently too getting ready to go biff it at midnight just doing a great job dude this is about to sound like a group text i'm in so let's let's move it

let's keep it moving let's keep moving our jobs special. I'll take it over the finish line. Shout out to every network executive at every network and everyone in the media. I don't have any dates, I don't think. Go see Faded Portland, I guess. Go see Faded Denver. Shout out to Mike Malone who's having a hell of a week right now. He killed it. That set was so good, dude dude i tried to text him after the celtics won and it's he's too hot yeah he's too i'm sure his phone was like doing that thing

where it turns off because his phone is too hot yeah it was insane yeah he's gonna blow up i'm sure liz has just been having to put up with so much nonsense i want the celtics to win the championship but i hope they lose tonight just to cool his jets a little bit. Just to throw a little water on it. I do kind of hope they lose tonight. Just to ground him, because otherwise, he also has the drunk spelling bee tonight. So if they win, and then he goes to that, it's like, what's happening to our friend? He's not spelling anything. No, he's definitely not spelling anything.

Spelling trouble is what's spelling. You trouble. Is that a music man? Down in River City. That's trouble with a T, and that rhymes with P. Spelling trouble is what's spelling You trouble Music man Down in River City That's trouble with a T And that stands for pool Yeah I have not watched the Late Late Show with James Corden We're about to go on our summer hiatus

We're about to do shows from London Before that so at the end of the month You'll see your boy coming to you live from London And then coming to you Not at all from the south of france leave me alone oh dude there it is yeah yeah i can't fucking wait where are you going x in provence oh my god wait those are all in south dakota he's got to get the those anchovies we got in Nice. Dude, I'll send you some hot tips, my buddy. Please send me some hot tips.

Actually, everywhere we ate in Nice was amazing. I've got two seersucker shirts, so I got that on lock. But I do need the hot tips. I definitely need a hat. But I think I'm going to get the hat there. Don't go to Monaco. That's all I'll say. It's a waste of your time.

I don't think we're going to go to Monaco. No, waste of time. It's just a a big mall don't use your real name this was so beautiful i started crying yeah yeah oh man i can't wait it was crazy i can't wait i'm gonna stand in the water yeah arm spread hey bring some shoes you can wear in the water because it's all like uh like razor sharp shells yeah yeah yeah i've been seeing that i've got some chacos and i'll be wearing those most places we are alienating all of sean's fan base right now all the south dakotans are like oh no you're shot from south dakota clearly nobody gives a fuck that i'm from south dakota so

i'm riding for it harder than anyone in the planet i ride for that fucking state can't even do their festival i'd have done it for a plane ticket and probably just crashed somewhere this is what happens when you tweet about the governor like you did dude yeah they don't think you're on their side anymore you don't think that you don't think that pendulum swings both ways she's got a she fucking pretty big wheel over there in the sioux falls comedy scene she sucks so hard she's one of the worst people maybe you should throw sioux falls tell a comedy festival and invite your friends maybe we'll come then you can perform at it all right i'll call christine

ohm and see if i can reason with her get gnome on the horn dude uh we're gathering today not to talk about sean's long and very real friendship with christy gnome the republican governor of south dakota but also to fantasy draft places to drink that you're not supposed to drink best places to drink where we shouldn't drink uh sam this was your idea yes correct was it anything specific that inspired it other it's a great idea it's fantastic i wanted to do regional beers but uh david said there might not be enough. And I said, I think there are. And he said, you do what I want, pig.

Yeah. That's the group text we were referring to. Yeah, that's how he talks to me. Yeah, but you're just taking snippets, right, that have nothing to do with each other. He was like, boy, can you eat the chestnut, Sam? And I said, okay. But yeah, so this was on the list you all sent. Sam and I said okay but yeah so this was on the list y'all said I wanted

to do ways to tell if someone's a douchebag but then we were worried that it would alienate people who might have those traits I really like that idea I do think it's pretty funny but hey here we are this is a great one I'm stoked for this

we're here this is fantastic I think the native beers was maybe, I didn't think I could come up with enough for regional beers. That's on me. That's okay. Even though David called you a pig. Well, I mean, that's just how he talks to me.

Yeah. That's not how I talk to him. Yes, it is. It hurts me every time. It's not true. And it's also in a group chat with my dad and sister, so it's even worse. Not when he gets called a pig, yeah a pig yeah that's like one of the more

biting terms when someone calls you a pig you're like oh hey hey hey it's really nasty when it is even as a joke you're like come on come on come on come on come on yeah no it hurts every time but uh he can't get enough but yeah no i was having a conversation. That's because you're pigging out on it so hard. Yeah, like going. You keep sending truffles to my house. He can find his own. For my birthday, he gave me a pig bat and he said, I'm going to use this on you. You remember those pig bats, David, from the stampede oh from elizabeth do you explain so like it's like it's pretty much like a telescoping baton it's like a blackjack

okay but when there's pigs at play you have to carry them because the pigs want to nibble on the kids so much so seriously you just have like a bunch of guys in waders and overalls walking around like daredevil with batons. They're really made to hit pigs with for real? Oh, yeah. Oh, they hit pigs with them. God, that's insane. They're made to whack pigs on the snout

so they don't munch the kids. God, I forgot about that. Yeah. Yo, that's so funny. Yeah. I watched my dad beat a sturgeon to death With a Seattle Mariners miniature Like souvenir bat once

He made you watch though He made you watch You sit there and watch You sit there son, you learn He had it in the boat And I was like oh I remember that day That was fun, we went to see the Mariners play And then he put a huge hook in the sturgeon

And was just wailing on it like De Niro That was an odd bar mitzvah you had. It was a weird little bar mitzvah, yeah. Like when they beat Joe Pesci at the end of Casino? Like that? Yeah, like that. Or when they beat Tommy Batts in the bar kind of thing. Oh, God.

That's how Chris Roberts and Joe Fulmer beat up a pig that bit Joe Fulmer's girlfriend. You're not allowed to talk about them on here. That's a hard don't ever bring up that god damn it god damn it this kid was so dumb they one time asked him like why didn't you follow the trap and he scratched his helmet and said i don't know coach yeah he was he was legally stupid. The state had to step in. He wasn't supposed to play football.

He was just so strong. He wasn't supposed to live. He was a miracle. That's what happens when the best efforts doesn't take. Yeah. Oh, man. The way we determine the order of the draft is a rollicking game of rock, scissors play between the three of you and with our own shoot i'll call it actually brought up robertson we had a guy i don't want to get okay i'll tell you i'll tell the story we had

a guy so we had like a fight club in in high school of course like you know it was 2001 2002 like fight club had just come out as a book and a movie and we had a little fight club and i could i could there was no one i could fight like fight because i was so much bigger than everyone else but then there was one three freshmen there was one dude there was one dude on the bus whose name was ben who like on on my friend's bus not even on my bus who he was like okay he'll fight you he'll fight you at the fight club he talked him into it and he showed up and he was one of those he was like like he was not mentally mad max beyond thunderdome i know right but he was like legally he was like dumb you know what i mean he was like dumb and like the whole

time i'm like what am i doing yeah i fought him, but I didn't punch him. I didn't, I didn't punch him or anything. He was a big guy too. He was like roughly my size, but he was just so dumb. He was a child of God. He was a, yeah, he was a child. I fought him still, but I didn't like it. He was doing all right. He was a really nice guy.

He's probably a state senator. He probably is a state senator. He probably fucking represents, yeah, Westland, Oregon or something like that oh man silly times high school yeah we throw on shoot here we go rock paper scissors shoot ah david wins with a rock against two scissors a natural victory david as the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order today's draft but before you do that, I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. What is that? Great question. It's kind of like playing Scrabble.

You start with the first word, you go left to right, and then at the end of that word, you build down. So, you know, let's say you put, like, stage. And then you would put, like, ego on the end of that. And then after that, you want to get back to the right side of the board.

So you put like stood or something. So you can use that. Oh, an ego. So you're kind of back over on the left side of the board. And then you want to go down again. So you put like savior, you know,

a long one. You probably get a scrabble with that. And then you want to go back over to the right. You put like a requiem, which I think would be another scrabble. Yeah. What's up? You say a scrabble. That's up you say a scrabble that's

when you use all seven letters oh okay yeah here's a dumb so that's it uh here's a dumb question is scrabble a word or is it a game that turned into a word because it means that one thing you can't scrabble something right i believe it's an amish breakfast for the Pennsylvania Dutch. Like all of the Denver Scrabble? It's a pork based. I think it's like pork leftovers. Almost like a hash. It's like a hash. Okay, I'll order one next time

I'm in South Dakota. I don't think Scrabble, just to answer your question, was not its own word. I think they made it up for that game. Well, yeah, no. Think about a rough Scrabble. Someone who bootstraps himself, you know, kind of rough around the edges. I think Scrabble might have been around. Oh, like hard Scrabble. Yeah, like hard Sc think about a rough scrabble i mean someone who's like bootstraps himself you know kind of rough around the edges i think scrabble might have been around like hard scrabble yeah like hard scrabble rough scrabble oh yeah are you fucking with me or i can't i don't know saying the word scrabble so much that it's starting to lose all meaning you're an author and i don't know if i can if i'm nearly as no like theo ratliff was like a hard scrabble power forward

was that not hard scramble is it hard i guess it is hard scrabble yeah it not hard scramble? I guess it is hard scramble. Yeah, hard scramble. Theo Ratliff! Yeah. I'm sorry. Sam's hit all of his... Already, he's hit all his big ones. He grew up with... I wish I grew up with Theo.

Is that like a real football player? I had to special order a poster of Theo Ratliff. We'll talk about Ron Dane later. Former Broncos, great. Eric, the enemy's going to come on. Oh, the enemy of the state. Absolutely.

Not a the enemy guy. Christian Nicoye. Oh, yeah. Natron Means. Natron Means. Yeah. Come on. He's got the Chiefs all day.

Derek Thomas. Get in there yeah a lot of guys get that wait i won right yeah what will the uh basically the first round you pick first and the second what will the order of your draft be uh david david sean sam ian hot corner best friends David, Sean, Sam, Ian. Hot corner. Best friends, huh? What did you want first? Yeah, I'm a guest. I'm the guest.

The corner is hot. David, you have the first pick, and we will get to that first pick right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course

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Welcome back to the All Fantasy Everything podcast, the only podcast that has ever existed. This is it. We're the only podcast. If you've listened to any recorded medium, it's probably this, the All Fantasy Everything podcast. into any recorded medium it's probably this the all fantasy everything podcast or i guess the other thing it could be is the audiobook of sam talent's book i'm gonna i'm gonna get it wrong it's burning running running the light running the lights available i was like i was like it's running the light and then my brain was like or is it burning the light and i was like oh no no i think it's running the light my brain was like

what if you say it wrong look man you got long covid you're okay i got long covid i am i'm in a fog at all times running the light but there is an audiobook which you can get anywhere you get audiobooks i also have uh i also have an audible original that came out called attaboy that's a novella they put out so yeah read both of those scoop all of those up you know david you read a chapter on that book david did read a chapter on writing the life did a good job right there was a lot of mcdonald's mcdonald's issues but we got through it yeah you crushed it yeah you're professional you're a professional voice man of course one of my jobs uh wait who's first i have long covid what's that you me sam first uh oh movie theater duh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah one of the early ones best ones gotta take it first

specific ones i can get later pedantic that's right no it's not pedantic it's not it's explain why drinking in the movie theaters is pedantic sam it's just like it's a very obvious choice it's great you know way to go oh whoa i don't think that's what pedantic means is obvious you guys are in the same city it means like dense like tough to get through i'm inside your head buddy no no you're just wrong you always do this when you're wrong getting in early nope oh yeah he's just wrong sam's incorrect he used the word wrong he doesn't want to admit it because he's an author movie theater one of the first places you ever learn to sneak beer in oh yeah anywhere

because and as an adult it's even better because what are you going to do you're 18 what are you going to do to me open a can during the quiet part of the movie yeah will you try to open it slow like that's gonna be quieter i came to see top gun and 4xd and yeah i got a tall boy people can see you're like i remember not knowing that people could smell like jack daniels for example like i thought i'd like take the lid off and it'd be like a mystery but you now i'm like everybody the second you take a lid off a warm bottle of like jaeger meister that's been in your pocket all day the whole movie theater is like well the teenager is doing what we thought the teenager was gonna do oh yeah god a warm baby boy brought in a bottle of warm jaeger

and he's gonna be screaming by the end of the movie jaeger was the drink for baby boy for you i think so it was that or jack really we only drank yeah i mean that was the only things that we would get because it was like you knew Jack, Jack and Coke and Jaeger was like just popular when I was a kid. So it was just easy to get or my dad drank vodka. So that was something I'd get a lot. God, just going to watch Spider-Man three bunch of Barnett's warm bottle of vanilla rum.

Yeah, whatever we could get our hands on. Little shooters of 99 bananas those were big like do you remember those little i forgot about those no they were like they make those in real sizes no because it's like everclear it's like it's like hundred proof or something so they're like straight they're like yellow jackets but liquor they just do they do exactly what a little shooter you know what you wanted to do they just get little shooter, like kind of a Muggsy Bogues type. Kind of like Muggsy Bogues, a little shooter. Earl Blankens.

Seth Curry, kind of a Seth Curry. I think movie theater might be better for weed. No, you can't do it in there. Yeah, you can, if you bring a pen. Those pens, you really don't, they really don't like show any smoke or see or you can't smell them or anything oh you can do this move you put you put your face you get a little chill them turn

your turn your shirt a little chill them and just make it so it all right yeah no i mean it's a great choice uh david i stand for you the only thing that complicates this pick is there are a lot of movie theaters where you're supposed to drink now yeah but now but we're not talking about that no i'm talking about like a regal cinemas like up off of hampton the dollar movies friday night i'm gonna go see blades of glory in 2022 yeah i'm gonna see little rascals in 1990 they have they have it every this regal by lloyd it's like they had four different kinds of trulies or something like yeah why i did i guess just so people don't sneak it in i'm sure they realized they were losing money when they would see empty cans of like liquor on the ground after every movie so i get it but that was portland was the first place i knew i ever saw a real i like somebody buy a beer in a

movie theater i was shocked it was the bag like the laurel hearst oh yeah the bag that i went to glorious bastards and they i didn't know when we get there and there was there's a movie theater i was shocked it was the bag like the laurel hearst oh yeah the bag that i went to glorious bastards and they i didn't know when we get there and there was there's a bar and i was like what of course i'm gonna get married and have a kid here at some point i didn't need any booze when i was watching the glorious bastards that was hot that got me high enough on racial catharsis yeah you just needed i haven't come out right next to you right oh yeah now weed was involved uh in both of our systems when we i get it i saw django on christmas man i was in the god yeah it's like when i saw elf it's like when you saw eight seconds yeah

that's rightation's important. It's like, that's me. I'm Luke Presley. Yeah, with a long feather in your cap. Yeah. And jeans. I'm known for wearing jeans. I just took my phone to DeGraff, Minnesota and watched The Irishman at my dad's grave.

There you go. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Movie theater. It's a big first round talent there sean jordan your first pick uh another pretty to use sam's wrong word pedantic pick but i have to say just a public park oh yeah yeah love drinking in the park because you're never supposed to and it's you you can pretty much

for most most of them like san francisco portland i feel like you can but you're definitely not supposed to right i mean it's not like legal well denver there's not like a ton of parks where it's i guess you can have barbecues and shit i'm talking about like the parks where it's not like a big grill out barbecue type place and you still you can just go there and you're talking about the a uh like a like a playground at a elementary school is what you mean right you just sit on the bench you're talking about a median yeah you're on the end of a seesaw waiting for a kid to come be the other part you're talking about sitting on top of a dumpster i forgot to fit it i forgot to finish the pick it's i forgot to throw the ing ramp on there so a public parking ramp

just kind of standing there directing traffic that does not need to be directed now you're saying other pigs yeah come on now yeah no public park it's just you know like a nice chill i have varying degrees but this is just like uh enjoying the day people watching it's perfect out you can see the skyline kind of place. Yeah, you got some tall boys, your backpack's full. Not getting nuts, but just being like, this is tight. Enjoying the day. Then you're going to go get nuts somewhere later.

You can't bring glass to the park. That's the only rule with bringing it in the park. No, all tin or plastic. Tin or plastic. Yeah, it's going to get broken. No, I bring stuff really that I can bring back with me. Just keep it in the bag or the, the whatever, the case.

Yeah. Yeah. Cause you just leave with all of it. I always go to the park and drink and my backpack is soaked afterward because the ice came out of the plastic bag that was in the backpack. Yeah. So I just thrash backpacks with the exact same plan. It's worth it every time. It always is.

It's just fun, man. We like, we were talking about that ride around Seattle. It's just, it's just fun sometimes. This is always during the day too. This is like a day thing, but It's just fun, man. We were talking about that ride around Seattle. It's just fun sometimes. This is always during the day, too. This is like a day thing. I think it's the most wholesome, unwholesome behavior is drinking in a park.

It's the line, for sure. Yeah. It's great. Great pick. Yeah, we would do that. That was like a big before we were 21, and if there wasn't a party that night, you could just go drink some, you know, sit like on a park bench or like on the swing set. Yeah.

We had a bush. I've told you about it. We had the McKinnon Park. We had like this fort. There were these huge bushes that were like hollowed out that nobody really knew about. Oh, yeah. You just crawl into the bush and sit and have like. Do some hand stuff.

Like a fort. Yeah, we did. We did a lot of stuff. A lot of firsts. a lot of firsts went down in that bush i bet that sounds like the kind of place where there are like some mummified like like glass bottles of liquor that are like half buried that are kind of sticking out you know what i mean from like previous generations of people doing the exact same thing yeah you might find some porno mags yeah you find a porn it's like an elephant graveyard of vice yeah fireworks yeah man i wish it was still there it's not there anymore they ripped it all up but that'd

be so fun just to go i don't know i don't know then you're a 40 year old sitting in a bush in there screaming like you guys all want to be 14 again right everybody everybody wants to be 14 yeah it was all downhill after 14, huh? Drinking in the park, you go from like Bon Vivant Libertine to hobo real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just dangerous drifter eating an apple off a plane. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah.

You're after sunrise there pretty quick. Yeah, that's a little public park. Sam Talent, time for your first pick. Sean, park was my number one. Great stuff. Loving it. Thanks, man. I got to go.

I got to be of or acting like a pedant, which I just looked up pedantic, and that is the definition. Thank you, Google, for your help. That was the definition? Yeah. You're being a real pedant. Yeah. God, this guy's a real pedant over here. Of or like a pedant.

Good stuff. Thank you. Thank you, Oxford Language Dictionary. Crushing it. I'm going to go, of course, with Beach. The Beach Show. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh.

It's good. It's crazy to me that you're not supposed to drink on the beach. I didn't know we weren't supposed to. And I had my whole family on the beach once. They came to visit me down here in la oh yeah malibu and we had we went to like this place and got like food to bring down to the beach and beers and wine and everything we're sitting there just enjoying it and then we saw these cops coming down yeah busting other people and we were like oh shit

bury it bury it and then we buried all the are you serious my mom yeah so we're like hiding it so there's just like tops you know like popping out and like hiding everything so then we're just sitting there and just hoping they talk to sue carmel first yeah did they come over they came they walked by they gave it they gave it a look i think they knew but they didn't have anything on a while and you're with the mom oh yeah yeah you got a sweet older lady wearing a sarong no one's getting a ticket. Yeah, exactly. No, it was so right.

Mom's the best camo. My mom used to, you know, RIP Betsy. She used to just fucking rock it at the beach. Oh, man, she rocked it everywhere, though. Dude, she had that Traveler of Mojitos everywhere she went. We'd go to brunch sometimes. You ever go to brunch? You're like, they serve it here.

They don't know. She would just have it. So it didn't matter if they served it there yeah my mom just kept that thing on her yeah it was great it was just there was not even any mint by the end it was just simple syrup and fucking rum she couldn't talk that good but she'd be like mom you got your drink and she'd go uh-huh sometimes you just need a hammer and a nail you know oh dude no one drank in public like my sweet mother yeah she was she was with the shit they had to retire her jersey that's why yeah they put it up you can't wear that anymore she's in the rafters yeah there's one day a season where everybody wears it and that's right yeah one of Molloy's exes has that jersey.

So, yeah, the beach is perfect, man. You get some yinglings. You get hopefully you got a grill there. Maybe you can do some hot dogs, some brats. Just sit there. Bring your big hat. Bring your umbrella and just forget about all life's problems. The varying degrees of beaches that you drink at is funny. Like there's the Malibu Beach, for example example or there's like Wall Lake in Sioux Falls

where you're like there's broken glass all over the beach I'm taking Pensacola can't take the smell, can't take the noise what's the Pensacola Beach like? wings of gold beautiful you can still swim in November and also the beauty of the beach is once your bladder fills up you just hop in the water

and empty it I love an ocean piss the park's you're in the park the park's great but you got to take that long walk to the public bathroom yeah or go into the in the trees maybe ruin someone you know making a memory for a kid that sucks you are being a prick yeah yeah become a seminal memory for some child uh i like peeing in the park but yeah i love getting in the water you get a little too buzzed you hop in there you know kind of sober up a bit before your gig Become a seminal memory for some child. I like peeing in the park, but yeah, I love getting in the water. We get a little too buzzed. You hop in there, you know, kind of sober up a bit before your gig in five hours.

Yeah, let the waves beat it out of you. Yeah. You know, the feeling of the way the sun hits at a beach is just different than the way it hits anywhere else. So you get that also that cashed out, warm, tired, but not tired feeling after you've had a few on the beach, you know, where you just like, you just feel, I i don't know like you just took a valium or something it feels amazing dude california oh when did you take a valium i'm not i just a couple weeks ago what do you know about valium what's like what's the specific situation where you've had a valium i just i uh i just took a

stolen from the doctor's office i just took one where were you the doc were you the doctors for ah it's neither here nor there i don't think we need to dive into it applying for a job yeah no doctor why don't you guys why don't you guys cut it out and we'll just keep talking about what we were talking about eating value at the beach is a blast too yeah that would be good yeah it's the best eating a benzo at the beach that's what they're made for is that what a benzo is is that a benzo yeah yeah some guy in seattle just two yesterday maybe two days ago walked up and asked if we wanted any benzo or um what's the stuff they give you instead of heroin suboxone no that uh no that's in share

methadone methadone yes we want any methadone or benzos and i was i don't know what a benzo was yeah benzo's lit that was who's's... What? I've never been offered anything I don't think like that. Weed, maybe. I've had strangers walk up and be like, what's weed? But this dude was offered drug drugs. And I just didn't know what a benzo was, so it's nice to know. Should have said yes. Yeah, just say yes next time.

Would have been happy. We did some river... We did a lot of river beach drinking, too, in Oregon. Well, see, I didn't want to bring up river, because river could also be a great pick. I feel like it's different. This is ocean beach. Ocean beaches.

Yes. Not a lake. Ocean beach or lake. You know, I feel like those are the same. Well, lake is very different. Yeah, lake is different. Lake is pontoon. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I'm talking about buried up to the hips in sand. Yeah. And then you lay down on your belly and your calves in the back of your knee get burnt. I want that kind of butt. Oh, yeah. God, that weird. Ocean Beach.

It just looks so bad. Yeah. Oh. Ocean Beach. Time for my first pick. Well, here we go. I guess I have back-to-back ones, as it is. I'm going to take...

I'm going to take public transportation. Damn it. I thought I could get that late. That was always on the way to something to save a little money. Or on the way home to wind it down. Or in between two places. That's right. I didn't do it a lot.

It was more shooters, though. I didn't do paper bags or anything ever, really. Do you guys do that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. When I think of David in San Francisco, I think of being on the bus with cold beers because we had no money. Yep.

225 out the door on my corner for a Miller High Life 40 and then get you wherever you're going. Some of the best memories I ever had. You got the night started. Yeah, I loved it. Anyone ever say anything? Never? No, not to me. No. I'm not a punk. No, not like bus drivers. I'm not talking about other people. I guess I'm talking about bus drivers. What's in the bag

or nothing like that. No, they got real problems to worry about. Somebody might get robbed on this bus. Yeah. David laughing. Cause we think that Andre Nicotina is on the bus. Yeah. It's like, did that happen one time?

You thought you were on the bus with Andre Nicotina? I know I was. It was Andre Nicotina. Yeah. But it was Andre Nicotina. Where to? The 14 was the 44. Yeah.

Fillmore bus. God, that's so sick. I just don't know where like it's just weird to think that he's just living in town oh yes i don't know i remember like like nudging the guy i was with and i was like that's nicotine and then he overheard us and he just pulled out a big wad of money and started counting it he put on the show yeah yeah yeah on the show that is yeah to let you know that he's like i'm on this bus for a different reason than you're on this bus yeah i'm at work yeah oh that's so sick i wouldn't recognize him but that's sick i'm on some andre nicotina business that you wouldn't understand right now that's

where i gotta be on this bus maybe he's green it's like tell me where your sister live nikki t's worried about his carbon footprint maybe nikki p's trying to get that carbon footprint down because all the pjs he has been at it since 11 yeah yeah yeah it's been a long time he's seen a lot i also might be the biggest andre nicotina fan which no one would ever see coming yeah you were bonzo i can't imagine anybody is it doesn't come up any other time no but yeah nikki t i was so i was so pissed so we didn't play nikki t at her wedding. I was like, what are you doing? There was a lot played at that wedding, though. It went down.

Oh, it was great. Great wedding. I'm having trouble putting together my playlist for my wedding because I want to make sure it's songs that everybody's going to dance to, but it's going to be such a wide swath of humanity. I want to have songs that I'm going to be thrilled about, but I'm afraid it'll be six people dancing during it.id threw a boozy badass one on our playlist and it got played i heard it nobody else heard it but it was hilarious just looking around me like no one's out nobody knows this song as long as it's good beats i think you can get away with anything right yeah

i think people because it was it is a good song but i people i feel like want to they're more apt to get out if they know the song, it feels like. You also have to think about it as appropriate to the hour. The thing you play right after dinner is different than what you play at 10.30 when you have a half hour left. That's when the bangers come out. Yeah, yeah, for sure. After people are a little loose, too.

Everyone's loose. Yeah, true. That's when I'll hit it. It's just like 30 straight minutes of hits at the end there people tried to spit a little game well the estheticians start dropping it low yeah yeah right right before my dad gets too high and collapses it's the best part of the wedding uh uh public transportation Even in New York, drinking on the subway is pretty fun. On your way to a show or from one show to the bar to meet friends and shit like that.

It's just fun. It's just fun to keep it going. It's a nice little change of scenery. Yeah, I love it. And it's a taste of freedom in an ever-unfree world. Absolutely. Yes. And it's your cheapest drink of the night.

Every time. Oh yeah. The best. Public transportation. My second pick. Oh, can I go with a weird one here? I'm just going to take the street. Yeah. Yeah. Just like walking around.

Specifically if you're like in a fun place. Not somewhere where it's like legal, obviously, but like when we were in Austin, just like drinking on the street in between two places. Is it not legal there? I don't think so. I don't think so. I could tell.

Maybe on 6th Street where it's like clearly, it's not really a street because they shut it down. 6th Street where you puked? Yeah, where I barfed. Which one did I hit? Which one of you? Me. Me.

Both of us. Yeah, it hit my calf. Both of you I hit? Which one of you? Me. Me. Both of us. It hit my calf. Both of you? It was red wine, too, which is gross. Yeah, it was hot red wine barf, and it splashed up and hit me in the calf. It was a bummer. I got the worst. Or you got the worst of it.

You were barfing red wine up. You know what I mean? We were all drinking the red wine. It could have been any of us. God just pointed his finger at you. No, it was separate flights. Remember, me and you were on the same flight. Yeah.

And Sean came on a separate flight. Oh, that's right. And he was like, oh, yeah, guys, I was drinking red wine. That's true. For some reason, every now and again, I'm like, do I like wine? And I don't. No wine connoisseur, Sean Jordan. I've never seen you drink wine, ever in my life. I drank it like it was a Jekyll bomb when I was on the plane.

I seriously did. I just knocked back three or four glasses of wine he was a yeager boy he said see you later boy uh i just love like wherever it is i used to love drinking like every now and then outside of the brody theater sometimes somebody would have like a pack of uh you know like just like a 24 pack or a six or something like that just like outside of a cold like after a club got shut down and you weren't ready to go home or anything like that outside of a house party you know i just i just absolutely like walk we'd leave the crib on the way to where we were going to northwest and just

you know just walk pass them around shout out to those dudes who will pull up on the street with like a half a 30 round yes yeah do you know what i mean where you're just out in front of a store yeah some guys like hey like whoa what's your day been what's your day been those dudes when the columbus show was going down and there were like so many people that were just it's almost like they anticipated the show shutting down because all of their trunks they just had like 30s in there oh yeah i think that's more of a testament to ohio yeah that's an ohio thing yeah well we did the live afb in columbus the power went out and we had to do the show in the parking lot but and people just had booze all of a sudden they were like all right here we go it was like a

tree it was like there was a flood in a town and like the whole town came out like to put sandbags up but the sandbags were like schlitz or whatever local beer they drink in ohio yeah you guys uh you guys have a great demographic i share some overlap with that demographic but they have different things in the parking lot that uh and in the trunk and in the trunk yeah when they pop the trunk at a sam t show they have weirder shit they want to show you it's either a reptile or it's a bootleg shirt. Like a homemade gun. Yeah. I 3D printed this.

It's all silica. Alright. I can get this through to the airport. Same time for your second pick. My second pick, I don't know if I'm taking this too high, but I really value it. Bar After Clothes. Oh god, that I really value it. Bar after close.

Oh, God, that's good. That's a second round. That's a first round. That's first round talent. I feel like a fake. I didn't even think of that. That's perfect. Deep value right there.

Such a privilege. I love that. It's not a sexy pick. It's like taking a guard at the 12 spot, like an offensive lineman. But you build your whole team on this pick. That's the best pick so far. That's how the Cowboys won championships in the 90s, was behind that offensive line.

There's no shame in that. This is nature. And drinking after hours. Yeah, drinking after hours. And beating places after they're close. Didn't Nate Newton get caught with, like, 200 pounds of weed? Yeah, so much weed. Allegedly.

Who knows anymore? He got caught on his way to the hall and you know he's the goat but yeah bar after close you feel cool you feel welcome you're just with the real heads who have the same intention of you which is being nefarious being devious being depraved well you can you can smoke in there you can smoke in there music comes from a different source all of a sudden like when the jukeboxes shut off yeah exactly yeah when that was happening back back in the day there weren't you know smartphones and stuff yeah i don't think there were camera phones and i haven't been more stoked about much in my life because we used to get buck at the brick house after it closed like after it was the brick house

and it was and it used to go off in that place it was right across from the police station too it was wild to think about you could see it you could see the police station yeah yeah keep real close they don't think anyone's stupid enough to go nuts yeah you either want to be real far right next door i'm thinking of like the squire lounge after the open mic you do good at the open man bomb howard makes you go downstairs you go downstairs with bomb howard weeks before someone fell down those stairs allegedly cracked their head open they're suing the bar allegedly uh it's an open case allegedly but uh yeah and also like this was back you know i'm thinking like when i was single and

stuff and it was just like you know there was pretty girls who thought you were valuable that evening maybe you know you're you try cocaine for the first time and never again it's just it was allegedly allegedly allegedly never again right yeah no they just the uh some of the best times i've ever had and some of the worst times where I feel really bad about what I'm doing were at a bar after close. Specifically the Squire. Squires, you know, bury me there. That's my Gucci store. Yeah.

When I bury me, I went to the Gucci store the other day. How was it? Fantastic. It was amazing. I got my wedding suit. sick yeah james corden bought it for me i wouldn't have i would like i listen if they did if i had the money i would of course buy myself a gucci suit but i don't have that kind of money but as his gift he was like i want to get you your wedding suit so we went and they like made a bespoke gucci suit for me damn

fucking crazy that's like when dave th Thomas took me to Rochester Big and Tall. Yeah, dude. Shout out to Rochester Big and Tall, though. It was a fucking cut above. Oh, yeah. It was a cut above the DXL. They were doing some different stuff there. Oh, they did me very well.

Wait, Dave Thomas found her a wedding? That's right. What? Wait, what? What happened? I was doing a hot bit no i don't know you've lived a you've lived a the life of riley there's there's a chance that's sick you got a bespoke suit you're gonna look so fire i can't wait man three piece dude

good for you with a dipping sauce did the vest change the game on my suit the vest was my favorite part of the suit i'm gonna wear i'm gonna wear that suit to my wedding and to anytime anything bad happens to someone i don't like i'm gonna show up in that suit ian you're probably skinny enough to do a vest now. Vest is not for the executive cut gentleman. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. That guy's a vest. It's always like you want to be like, take them aside. Yeah.

You don't even want to shame them in front of people. Yeah, you want to be, hey, come here. Listen, man, you know this is fucking up for everybody. I'm right on the vest line. I'm on the Mendoza line when it comes to vests. That's where my body's like. I'm like, okay. When I went in for the suit fitting, I had been like eating really clean for a while.

And I was like, okay okay i can pull this off but if i spent if i just spent three days in new orleans and then tried to do this it'd look different it would look like fully i would be on the other side of that line so at my wedding i'll be okay but even in there they were like we were like pulling schemes on like how we could do stuff he's like he's like well we could put venting in here on the vest you know what i mean they got all their little like tricks for how they get like all the best NFL draft offensive linemen into these suits too like they just have all this when i was wearing cover all the time i used to cut vents into everything oh my god i was wearing bull rock burlark brand fire resistant coveralls yeah you were sponsored by bull wants coverall yeah the kind of pros wear i would cut vents in

the armpits in the sides vents are very important to the uh the poor scene gent they were also like dense coverall they were fire resistant yeah they were not yeah you got me one it was not comfortable yeah well that's how that's what i was wearing when the night i met my wife and then i remember you cut the one pair in the shorts and you just looked like a psycho no dude i was ahead of the curve now men are wearing rompers i was in a romper early it did not it did not look like a romper it did not look like a romper i'm just saying i was like a romper all right it looks like you cut coveralls in the shorts. Yeah, it looks like I had a Thresher accident. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It looked insane. It looks like the paramedics did that cutoff, not you. It looks like they were attempting to cut you out. Yeah, Emily fell for me in those exact same cutoffs. What a psycho. She was going through some stuff. Yeah, Emily fell for me in those exact same cutoffs. What a psycho. She was going through some stuff. Yeah, clearly. Going through the bottom of those bulwarks.

That's right. Kind of the pros way. Sean, time for your second pick. Tell me if I can pick this. Go on. A house party when you're under 21. Like an under 21 house party interesting because i know house parties i know house parties don't count because you can just buy beer and drink

i mean any party you're supposed to drink at yeah yeah well i was wondering but you're not old enough if it's a house party where you're under 21 everybody's under 21 right that's kind of what i'm saying everybody i'm saying i'm not saying like a weird situation unless you're the coolest guy alive yeah i'm saying like yeah no i'm saying like pretty much a high school house party when you yourself are in high school nah man i think that's an autonomous zone i don't feel like yeah i don't i don't i don't love international waters i just thought about the waters well i'm glad you brought it up so people don't people don't wonder yeah well okay so then i'll pick uh and i know we already mentioned it but i was gonna say it anyways floating like floating down the sandy in portland tube in a

river yeah like floating river i've only done it a handful of times and it's just it's so awesome i it i mean it's crazy you don't have to move you just get all this scenery and it's nice out it's even dope when it's not nice out we go to the to the Niobrara River in northwest Nebraska a few times for crew trips, and we floated it one time when it was pouring rain and freezing, and it was still pretty dope. Back when you used to row crew?

Yeah. No, we never rowed crew down that river. You can't do it. It's got rapids, David. You were crewing against the what? The University of Nebraska at Omaha? Were you a coxswain? Yeah, were you a coxswain?

What was your role there? No, I was, is that the person that hollers out the orders? Yeah. Yeah, I was a coxswain. He's always little. Yeah. Little guy. I used to be a lot tinier, man.

I was like 5'2". Yeah, just floating on the top of the boat. That's true. We were all 5'2". I was 5'2". I didn't even know where the bit started. No, just floating the the top of the boat we i lost we were all two once no just floating uh floating the river man i'm thinking mainly like specifically the sandy i think it's a sandy in portland where like you park and then someone else drives you go all like miles up and then you float down to the car that you previously parked and it's just an amazing day

sean keeps showing feet on this podcast yeah it's it's every now and then you see in parked and it's just an amazing day sean keeps showing feet on this podcast yeah it's it's every now and then you see in foot and it's it's throwing me off get that out of the frame get it out of the frame dude that's not my foot man i look different now you have roaming toes yeah you got roaming toes dude come on it is funny it doesn't look like it's attached to me get that fucking foot out of the frame what are you doing nobody wants to see your foot no nobody wants to see nobody wants to see a male foot dude no i'm not trying to i'm not trying to kink shame people who do if you do god bless you i am yeah you're a skateboarder man your feet have been through some shit all right they're gross they're gross they're not they're not especially gross.

I'm not trying to shame your feet. I was kind of flustered when I lost track of time. The whole angle looks like you're about to beat off. Yeah, it looks like you're going to give someone a foot job. That's a terrible angle. So floating a river is... Very voyeuristic angle. I'm sorry, my computer's lower than me.

Well, this isn't that comfortable. You got your feet in the frame and then a children's songbook on the piano behind you? Heuristic angle. Yeah, gross, dude. I'm sorry. My computer's lower than me. Well, this isn't that comfortable. I don't want to sit like this. You got your feet in the frame and then a children's songbook on the piano behind you? Yeah, everything about this is real weird. This is very OnlyFans. I don't have my kids this weekend, dude.

You need to get your feet out of the frame. Floating a river, tying a cooler up, whole thing, real dank, real buck. I've never done it. You're all tied together, too, with your friends.

Yeah. What's funny is when you see you see people my buddy you see people like uh not so much weed that's fine you figure out how to do it but sometimes you see a person smoking a cigarette and you're like how and why are you doing that in the middle of this river i think it's pretty cool there's nothing more opulent than smoking in a pool or i just don't I just don't know how it's... Yeah, it's amazing. It seems like it's so much harder than it is to smoke weed for some reason. I guess they're both equally as hard, though, because they're both... If they get wet, you can't do it anymore. I mean, they both take some planning for sure. Yeah. I suppose.

It's not a first-day maneuver. You can't apprentice. Maybe I'm thinking about pipes or weed seems waterproof somehow. It just seems like cigarettes would just get soaked, and it'd be a really hard thing to do. You know what you do? Pack of cigs on top of your head. Then your big hat right on top of it. Oh,

there you go. Yeah. Yep. That's like the reason Tim Dillon and I are friends is because we both like smoking and water. He was like, it's good. This is where you smoke this glass.

Who cares? Yeah, man. Floating down a river. Fire, fire and water, dude. Yeah.

Dave, boy, time for your second and third pick. Let's go, baby, man. Floating down a river. Fire and water, dude. Yeah, great pick. Dave Borey, time for your second and third pick. Let's go, baby. Man, I'm on drags. All my big boys got taken. Yeah, this is a draft with big boys, and then I don't know what that fifth round is going to be. Yeah, but the rest can be real personal. It's fun.

Yeah, everything else is super specific. That's all good. So I'm just thinking the places that i've had the most fun drinking that i'm not supposed to oh the amtrak observation car yeah we already had public transport it's not public okay okay yeah that's fair now who's pedantic david's eyebrows when he said that it was so public you look down so like the bus compared to the amtrak obzy car okay yeah is that is that you're up there you're hiding from the conductor sure that way you can see he's asking brent gill what's in the bottle yeah it's the oh you guys did

that didn't you that wasn't that that trinidad festival yeah it was amazing uh it's the car it's the car that the whole top is glass and you can see all the way out oh wow it's just like a bunch of old couples enjoying their golden years and then you and you and brent you and the gildozer slamming gin yeah and then the gildozer goes over and he's like so how do you guys want to celebrate this 50th anniversary there room for one more in that sleeping car the gildozer yeah that's what that's what he calls himself yeah he should he's the gildozer for sure oh yeah he's the god of sin i didn't even know there was such thing as an observation car that sounds amazing i've only been on an m track

twice but yeah they were it was fun both times you don't even have to show id I didn't know there was such a thing as an observation car. That sounds amazing. I've only been on an Amtrak twice. But yeah, it was fun both times. You don't even have to show ID. To what? To get an observation car? To get on the Amtrak. I know. Yeah, you don't really.

You just have to show a ticket, huh? Yeah, it's like a bed. It is wild. You just go pick a seat, too. Like the whole thing, you just go pick your seat. There's no assigned seating anywhere and then like what nampe just did up to seattle you just there's a bar car but the rest of it is just the rest of it you're not supposed to drink in but the rest of it's like way better drinking in but you can't walk you can go anywhere you want you can walk into any right there's no like private cars or

anything is there there's like sleeping cars i suppose like a long i mean you could walk into that corridor but you can't like you can't go into the room shut their room right yeah and then one of the cars is always packed with mennonites every ham track i've ever been on is just people in bonnets smelling natural yeah yeah i've also i've also been on i've also been on them where uh there's a bunch of crusties in the in like the bike room sure i could see that what i'm talking about where people yeah yeah yeah i've also been on that and then they like you get to a stop and they all scatter and this is a tangent like but i've heard that riding the rails is like really scary because there's like in the middle of nowhere train

conductor justice have you heard that like oh the bulls will kill you bulls will take you out there's own there's no kind of like like if you get caught riding the rails in the middle of you know idaho and there's not like if they catch you on the train they'll just take you out and like beat the shit out of you leave you there then they'll leave you in the desert yeah yeah yeah i think it's like a known thing right like that's it's a sketchy thing to ride the rails like that's why they hide yeah they call them the bulls yeah rail rail yard bull yeah that's like yeah it's so scary i had a i had a couple acquaintances back in the day that did that i just to kind of just to for fun almost and they they got real gnarly but i met so many of those kids at mouth house who would just have these terrible stories oh yeah like being brutalized yeah yeah just that

maddie kid he'd be like oh yeah the bulls beat the shit out of me but i was in portland because there was this guy who gave me 500 for pissing on his socks or whatever yeah just like really gnarly damn that train life is not for me we had to give him a little bit of railroad justice because he was sniffing someone's panties so yeah yeah oh man he had that dog that wasn't trained oh yeah you just found him you just found him at the crib doing that one time like busting him well yeah mouth house there was 16 of us living there and some one of the young ladies found him in a room no no that was in denver that was in denver okay so we took him outside and gave him a little taste of the rail yard. Give him the bull. The bull's giving him the horn. Took him out of the side, gave him a taste of the rail yard.

And by that he means a sock with a grapefruit in it. Yeah, it was a bunch of silver dollars and a pantyhose. You got three times to mind your own business right here and then you just start. There's a cocktail I would never get, a taste of the rail yard since they were like, I'm looking looking at the cocktail it's warm vermouth oh god

what color is it i kind of depends it doesn't really have a solid color oh and you're uh in your third pick david uh third pick also very specific i'm going uh popeyes on two for tuesdays yeah yeah i know i didn't think about that bringing your own to a place that doesn't serve in your own tall can yeah oh my god at a fast food restaurant that fresh tuesday hot popeyes chicken and then like a couple big ass medellos oh man if you want put that in there that shit was like that was shit that like when you were broke made you feel not broke yeah dude i had a guy i was at the taco bell by lloyd one time with some kids some met some grown-ups and uh this dude was in there you know he had a can of colt he had a can

of colt 45 and he was like being real ruckusy. And these younger kids walked by him and he started like threatening them. So I stood up. The kids I was with, I was like, you guys, you're going to help if something happens? And they kind of shook their head like maybe. I was like, well, and I stood up and I just screamed. I was like, hey.

And then he looked back at me and I think something like leave him alone or some shit. And then he looks at me. He's like, I'll fucking do whatever the fuck I want. But he didn't move. And I was standing there and I was like, really hoping and then he looks at me he's like i'll fucking do whatever the fuck i want but he didn't move and i was i was standing there and i was like really hoping he didn't come at me and he didn't ultimately he went outside and then i told those kids i was like you guys when you leave just go out the other door because i think that guy is pretty buck that's like me yelling at people on the airplane when they try and cut me it's the same thing yeah it's tough because you're like i don't want i don't want to have to try

to do anything but i also these it was probably terrifying for those kids this dude was gnarly so it was just one of those things but yeah i had a tall can in a fast food restaurant that's it's a good time i mean there's there's it's it's not like the greatest people who do it but you know papa should sell booze they should a lot of those places should be there should be like how taco bell has the taco bell cantina and i don't think that should exist because i never i i don't want i don't think taco bell should have booze i don't think that's the one taco bell is for after booze yeah specifically for after booze but like way after booze way after but like a beer and some fried chicken is fucking i mean classic it's amazing yeah it's amazing i met you for tuesdays dude oh man i remember

walking miles to get there oh yeah on the viz the one in san francisco the one on the viz yeah man it's like us going to mecca man that was a big deal oh it was the day like all right we're gonna it's tuesday we can probably go like tell jokes at like amnesia or whatever but first we'll get some talk hands we'll go to fucking popeyes man and nobody ever gave you any shit about it it was almost this thing like you do it and people would see you and they'd be like oh yeah he gets it yeah he's with the movement yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah it's a lot of guys just giving knowing nods. Yeah. Okay. A lot of like, I see you. It's the only time anyone's ever said I see you to me, and it was good.

He's like, I see you. I see you. I see you over there. Hey, you know I see you, right? Yeah. Also, they have the biscuits. You got biscuits with it, too. Yeah, and then all of a sudden the biscuits aren't so dry because you have that cold yes because you got to get the beer right before

you walk in you can't get the beer early you got to get the beer at the closest liquor store it's gotta be ice cold it's gotta be icy yeah yeah oh man that shit was amazing the biscuits at popeyes i feel like are a little bit overrated or i there's every time i've had them with a fresh cold beer ian when you have five dollars to your name it's the best thing you've ever had yeah yeah yeah that too they're just they're very salty it's a salty biscuit yeah they have that fake butter in there yeah yeah i think you really need to have it with beer yeah but nothing heavy like a Modelo, a Miller Lite. Yeah.

Like nothing crazy, but yeah. MGD, dude. A lager. Yeah, MGD. Miller Genuine. That's an MGD in quite some time. MGD. They only sell them at Popeye's in Divisadero.

Yeah. Maybe a banquet beer. Great. They won't give you a water cup, but they will let you drink some beer in there oh yeah they won't give you the key to the bathroom but yeah you can you can catch a buzz all you want oh yeah but yeah so that's yeah my third sean jordan time for your a third pick uh i'm gonna pick a place that we had and everywhere has versions of it, but ours was called Thunder Road, and it was sort of like a family fun center. I don't want to take, I don't know, it's probably rude to take everything.

Real high school bully activities. You're talking about like a carnival. I'm talking about like mini golf. Oh, mini golf. It was like that kind of a place. We had mini golf, go-karts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to advocate for doing it we had mini golf go-karts yeah yeah maybe if you're not want to advocate for doing it and then driving a go-kart but i'm honest and i did do it quite a

few times and it was very fun i lost a tooth doing it i got t-boned and then somebody hit me straight on knocked this tooth out on the steering wheel we were all tore up and we went out go-kart and i got i got like spun around like a cop was chasing me you know that thing they do where they bump their back right or left yeah absolutely so somebody pit maneuvered me and then i think my friend kenny just hit me straight on and i smashed my tooth on the steering wheel you lost the tooth i sat up and i was like whoa and uh it was half the tooth because i had already lost it skating. You have a fake tooth? Yeah, my front left is all. It's drilled in.

It's one of those. Really? Uh-huh. Why haven't you gotten gold? Come on. That's a good question. Gold or silver? They're going to have to replace it at some point.

Let me go gold, dude. If I pay for it, will you go gold? No. Will you buy all gold? If I'm in the inn right now. Yeah. Yeah, I'll smash this shit out today. You got to lose the go-karting. That's part part of the deal i'll smash it out and you pay for it you gotta have a daughter and

you have to lose a go carding and then it's on karms damn that goes for everyone listening it was we got i i the details are hazy for you know a few reasons but we got off and i think it was pretty buck because i just didn't have a tooth and everyone's like whoa and i was still in a great mood like it was it was fine it was fun but just you know we were again we were like kids and it was just a place to go use that energy where because yeah either that or but yeah so we had bullwinkles i never went a version of you never went never went to bullwinkles oh man we had everything at this place they had like a the foosball it was brand new where you could like put it's the human foosball, where you all strap in or hold on to a part of a bar.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a good idea. They had the jump thing where you tied yourself and you could jump 50 feet or maybe 20 feet high. Batting cages, mini golf, go-karts, and maybe an RC track later down the road that's pretty fun sounds like an astronaut training camp yeah that's great it was all right you know what i'm saying like they would batting cages almost sound more dangerous than the go-kart ring man i got fucking knocked at the batting cages yeah yeah i took one to the eye what foul ball like a week like two weeks ago three weeks

ago are you serious you didn't go in and do the fool's errand of trying to hit like a 90 mile an I took one to the eye. What? That was all? Like two weeks ago. Three weeks ago. Are you serious? You didn't go in and do the fool's errand of trying to hit like a 90-mile an hour. You were there. I was there? For the wedding. Before the wedding. Oh, that wasn't a batting cage.

That was a batting cage. What would you call that? Who was pitching? I was loading it, and Zach beamed one off the cross beam. Oh, I wasn't there. I wasn't there i wasn't there you weren't there you went to greggy's you went to greg's spot yeah yeah yeah yeah i was i was loading it i was loading it and it and i was like i was pissed because i was like oh man i'm gonna have a fucking black eye for the wedding no took you bad oh i didn't fucking sorry man i didn't know

that that sucks was it before you got a chance to get any cuts in too yeah because i was just like it was right when we got there because i was like oh i've never gotten to load it before let me like feed it that'll be fun and then yeah right off the thing bang straight into my eye and then hammy bet everybody that he could hit a 90 90 mile an hour fast did he hit one i think yeah he got a piece of one he got a 90 man that's i got in that cage one time and it was scary. I got out. I didn't even finish. No, the cage is intense.

Yeah. It was like, it was like, it wasn't like family fun center. It was like. No, Greg, like trains. They train to be good at baseball. Yeah, they train baseball players. You kind of got to start swinging before that ball comes out on a 90. You do.

I think you have to ask Cammy. Yeah. That's why I don't understand the whole eye on the ball thing. Because I know, but they're like me and keep an eye on it and see how the it leaves the pitcher's hand right but i always like how am i supposed to look at something until it hits my bat when it's going 90 miles an hour time slowing down you get good at it uh but yeah just the just the family fun center it's just it was a treat you know you could great yeah you just. Right. Yeah. You could just be there. Do whatever you want. Just be there. I used to put on the catcher's gear and go and get in the batting cage and use the balls

to catch. You did? Yeah. And my grandpa used to take me there. And I remember my grandpa being like, now we might have to. Notorious train jumper, your grandpa. Yeah. Ova talent.

Tough guy. He's named after a dog fighter, a man who fought dogs. Not. His name was Obadiah over over yeah get it get in there sammy yeah and he'd be like we might have to grease a couple wheels i don't know if they're gonna be okay with this you know but we'll see what we can do and then we show up in the 17 year old boy my grandpa's like we're gonna put him in there and he's like i don't care man we're gonna put them in there yeah good memories dude that's so rad i can't believe you don't have a gold tooth sean yeah it would be the biggest arguments i've ever

had with my wife or me being like hey baby i'm gonna get a gold tooth and her being like no you're not i wanted to get a gold tooth instead of a wedding ring and she put the kibosh on i didn't even know that was an option i don't think i almost got my wedding ring tattooed and ian talked me out of it it is a wedding option i don't mean it's not in my situation yeah well i'll think about it yeah my twilight years it'd be a good it'd be a good late in life dude uh sam time for your third pick uh okay i'm going with dry wedding oh yeah oh yeah where everybody notices the most where you're like okay so somebody broke i've been to one of those i don't know if i've ever been to one i was i was young and i

still had a bad time i should say i guess i don't know if i ever paid attention because i think i i'm sure i was at a couple but not yeah not not following the rules yeah you weren't obeying the law of the land but i honestly i don't even know if i even cared at that like sometimes some points i could have been a dry wedding and not even notice because i had no intention to going to the actual bar that was going to be there you know like i was just like i'm gonna bring my own i'm gonna bring my own no matter what and do what i want we were i remember a couple we were in the parking lot before the wedding my buddy 20 got married and uh yeah we're in the parking lot before the wedding at like eight in the morning catholic ceremony and we're just like slamming out of a flat we were uh we were old enough though anyway yeah it's a yeah

that's a good have you guys been to dry weddings have you guys been to many i've never been to it i guess i went but i was like 10 to 1 trying to think yeah so like half of my dad's side of the family are are mormon like the cousins like the second and third cousins over there yeah are uh so they all their weddings have been dry but we go in there and like the cousin the family who isn't more mormon is like look we know what we're doing like you know my uncle patricio shows up he's got the flask on him uncle patricia every every cousin their purse is just packed with shooters yeah um and it always sucks because usually i drink like beer or wine to start the wedding but when you're at a dry wedding you're

just drinking liquor so you wind up like much more drunk than you ever intended and then when the chicken dance comes on everyone's on to you yeah you know like you can't ever hide the luckily you got to have like you got to have some allies when you're drinking at the dryway do people ever get mad are they like you're drunk sam and like i mean it's definitely like i mean they know that it's a massive inconvenience for those who are going to the wedding you know like they know no one's really stoked on it besides the other members of their uh their sect and you know i i'm not flaunting it i'm not doing in front of them but when you go out to the fucking parking lot, I'm dancing. When you've had your fifth cigarette by 6 p.m., it's like everyone knows.

I've been to a lot of those like back in Midwest, like wedding in the morning ceremony at like 6 p.m. kind of weddings. And they're not dry, but they're's like um people have the whole day in wedding mode and then they show up to dinner and you're just like what did you what were you doing all day it's just shocking sometimes i recently went to a wine and beer wedding but a lot of people had liquor was it mine what was it mine what anyways yeah and a lot of people had snuck in different types of liquors and that was pretty cool i appreciate like i'm having a full bar at my wedding but i appreciated the wine and beer part of it because it kept me level i never got to i never got too drunk at your wedding i was like right where i needed to be my buddy mandyce was out there had a bag and

he's just like you want some and i go please put it in your jacket please put it away that was i do like the little i did like the kind of like secret society going on yeah there was about 15 of you yeah there was like it was it was a large crew nampe had a lot to do with it yeah uh because we went to the store and me and Mike were like, we'll get a little something, right? And the guy at the store was like, I take these to NASCAR all the time. They were these like plastic flasks, these bladder flasks.

They were called flastics, dude. I mean, fucking missed opportunity. Missing out. Time for my third pick, dry wedding. I'm going to take a big cut here. I'm going to step up to the plate. Hopefully I don't get hit in the face. And I'm going to take a big cut.

I'm drafting Disneyland. Yeah. I've only done it once, but it was a blast. It is fun to have some drinks at an amusement park. Isn't there like a secret bar or something there?

There's like the Club 33 or whatever. They have like that. They say that. Allegedly. You can drink at California Adventure. You can. And you can drink at Epcot Center. And there's a like Star Wars Mos Eisley bar,

but I don't know if they have actual booze. But I mean, I guess it probably depends on what day you're there. If it's like slammed and it's like 115 degrees that's probably not that fun but like you know just having a little bit of a buzz going an amusement park difference from going to disneyland to california adventure now because the california adventure just added alcohol a couple years ago right or something it's just night and day where you go over there and you're like okay here's here's

where people are doing i mean it's just you couldn't the outfits change it's just so much different and uh it's hilarious last time i did it we amy and adam and i we went and they that's where you would go with it i was scared to do i was scared to sneak it in they were like we'll do it and so yeah they brought in yeah that sounds that also sounds right and it was fun we didn't get like tour but it was a little cherry on top of some of it and I don't get sick ever on roller coasters or anything so it's just like fun

you know I went on the new Tower of Terror and I wasn't drunk but if I was I would have barfed my fucking guts out all over the place I would have barfed my fucking guts out because I almost barfed my guts out natural and if I was drunk you would have barfed my fucking guts out all over the place. I would have barfed my fucking guts out. Because I almost barfed my guts out natural. And if I was drunk? You would have barfed your fucking guts out?

I would have barfed my fucking guts out everywhere, dude. There would have been barf like... The thing about the Tower of Terror is you would have barfed, but you would have gone plunged right into your barf. I would have plunged right into my own barf, and then I would have flown up, and my barf would have hit the ceiling and then dripped down on my head from above.

It would have been a barf and then i would have flown up and my barf would hit the ceiling and then drip down on my head from above it would have been a barf shower there's no two there's no two ways about it would have like if you threw imagine if you barfed half a second before that thing went down you really would catch up to your own barf and you'd fly up it'd be like yeah like uh you would they should do that on jackass like try to do it on purpose. That'd be funny to see. They should take Ipecac on the Tower of Terror. Right when they start farming. Elitch Gardens in Denver, the old Elitches before Six Flags came in, had a situation where they had little submarines, like little boats, and they had tennis ball cannons on them.

And then also on the shore, there uh tennis ball cannons on them and then also on the shore there was tennis ball cannons and you would fire back and forth at the people and i remember my dad he's been sober since i was like 13 but him my uncle tom got fucking wrecked at elitches and i remember the guns are supposed to turn off when you're on the shore but somehow they malfunction and they could keep shooting so as kids were getting out of the little boats my dad and uncle tom were just raining hell upon them with these tennis ball cannons and i just remember them loving it so much and me being like i can't wait to be an adult you know just helping children with tennis balls and having the time of their life looks fantastic it's like one of the only memories i have of my dad drunk it rocked i have a bunch of memories of your uncle tom drunk oh me too

like two weeks two weeks ago for sure he didn't follow suit tom was like um i'm not i'm gonna i'm gonna keep doing what i do yeah he got wait we were making him take Hennessy. And then, in the end, he was like, it was like his eighth shot of Hennessy. He was like, I'm not black enough. And then he told us that story about smoking PCP. Yeah. And my aunt Julie was like, okay, time to go, Tommy. And how much she loves to go see concerts at Cervantes.

It was a good time. Yeah, a lot of revelation from that hen came out. Yeah. It's funny when that goes down, man. My aunt got married and they were like, hey, go get us a bottle of tequila so all the bridesmaids can do a shot before the ceremony. Like, fun stuff.

And then my uncle Steve got his hands on it right after that. Whole thing was from the time they did the shot, which was shortly before the ceremony, till the time the ceremony started, he housed the whole bottle, passed out in the wedding and had to be taken to his car, slept in his car, missed the whole wedding.

Wow. Just because he found out there was a bottle. I'm like, what was his relationship to the person getting married? He was a kid. Uncle? No, wait. Brother-in-law.

He was a brother-in-law to the person getting married? Yeah. Oh, that's not too bad. you yeah you're like okay yeah you're not like it's a bad look on the sister though i mean it's it's a bad look it's tough just to be like and this is coming it's not like somebody's gonna ride the wedding out in their car yeah i mean i'm like i'm not the calmest dude on the block either but it's like you should no no a little bit you know what i mean wait till the midnight show i again i apologize profusely for oh i'm sorry right there next to you if i didn't have a i am sorry about that um i'm uh time for my fourth pick before we get to my fourth pick we're gonna take one last short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything

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60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything Already in Progress. We're drafting places to drink that you're not supposed to drink. Time for my fourth pick. And with my fourth pick, I'm going to take driving.

Now, let's be very careful here. This is tough. I didn't want to do it. This is tough. Now, let's be very careful this is tough i didn't want to do it this is tough let's be very careful here i'm not saying i'm not saying getting drunk i'm saying having one one beer with you none of this is okay but yes i would i know what you're saying driving a boat oh yeah that's perfect perfect. Never a car. I would not drink and drive a car. No, me either. No, no, no.

Even on a country road? Not anymore. I mean, I definitely... It's not the same as Elizabeth, Sam. I did it. It's the same as when I was really young. What if you were bored with a bunch of friends and you didn't have anything to do? But of course not.

But Elizabeth, there's like dirt roads where there's never... Like, if you're going to my house in Elizabeth, once you get to 29, there's like there's like dirt roads where there's never yeah like if you're going to my house and elizabeth once you get to 29 there's never been a cop there yeah what if you have to get from rudyard's to the secret group and in houston yeah i mean no it's not good but it's like it's something great about having that boat in the low in that low speed where it's just like... And you're just like, you're taking that smooth steer, and then you got like, maybe even a good beer.

Maybe it's even like a good beer in this scenario that like your dad brought on the boat. He brought like six of them, and it's in a koozie and you're just in that drinking like some sort of grapefruit infused ipa or whatever the fuck i've never had a good beer on a boat oh god i've had i've had some yeah ivan carmel brings like he'll bring like a prime ipa or like some shit like that yeah and he brings it on there because i'm not trying like i what depends on what you're doing on that boat like in this scenario if i'm trying to drive the boat i don't want to get drunk because you got to park that boat but i'll have like two drinks you know yeah pontoons are made for drinking yeah yeah you're made for that's a different scenario this is like a oh you're

talking like a real boat well like a bay liner you know yeah 65 footer got an engine got an engine on 65 maybe maybe dual engine yeah maybe get into a hydroplane i don't know make a wake in the no wake zone well i'm not doing that yeah right i've never made waves dude except for my piercing observations no i've seen someone cut in front of you in a bar before i've seen you make a waiver too oh i may wait yeah yeah yeah yeah but just like while just having a beer driving a boat i fucking love it it's sure it's one of life's true pleasures uh that's my fourth pick sam time for your fourth pick ian you could have said driving anything and i would have been totally fine yeah yeah i think we're all like yeah i didn't want to say everybody was ready to let loose you know what i mean the first crack in the wall a boat that's the easiest one to admit

yes sure no i'm i'm with you on that yeah not good but i'm not going to shy away from my past experiences i'm also not going to fib you know i'm not saying don't let johnny lossy drink and drive in a boat though they they have different opinions about it than we do yeah okay so this is my fourth pick okay high school sports game oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh my god yeah i had that on my bucket i thought i was gonna be able to get that next i wanted to say it but i never did i never did it oh my gosh that you never did no we weren't popular enough i was like right on the line but i didn't have enough friends that i could justify going there and being like me too guys you think that was cool kid behavior

i don't get invited to your posh parties where you go drink at a jv soccer game oh dude it was the only way that i could go to a volleyball game yeah no we were going to the volleyball games anyways for obvious reasons those those were important days they were volleyball game oh man oh man yeah that was don't get me started we were in high school too, just so everyone... Correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's very much... We were also in high school. That's what I also try to be clear at with the high school party.

You yourself are also in high school. It's not like my age now being like, yeah, none of us are supposed to drink, right? Yeah, but if you go to a high school football game, it's okay as an adult to get cranked. To get a little drunk there, that's fine. I think so. Almost patriotic. so almost patriotic

it is patriotic yeah remember oh you community it's norman rockwell shit it is yeah it's red white and blue it's mom and apple pie uh i would love to get hammered and go to a westview high school football game this fall i keep trying to get david to go on the sideline with me at elizabeth high school football game go on the sideline yeah wear at an Elizabeth High School football game. He wants to go on the sideline. Yeah, wear your Letterman jackets. I still have mine. I know you do. I want them to honor me. Honor me.

They would let you because you're like a notable alumni. Wouldn't they be stoked? I don't think any of them would even know us anymore. Is Klein still there? Who's the coach? Carter? Buzz is the coach, dude. Buzz Zesch?

Yeah. Oh, that'd be pretty cool. Coach Z would let us down there for sure. He would let us down there. He'd let us put on some pads. He'd let us drink down there. He'd let us take some snaps. He Z would let us down there for sure. He would let us down there. He'd let us put on some pads. He'd let us drink down there. He'd let us take some snaps. He'd let us drink down there for sure.

How do you think you would do in a high school football game right now? Do you think you would just get absolutely obliterated? Yes. I'd get eaten for breakfast. I think if the, are we talking like if I'm at tight end? I think I'm. You were never at tight, what are you talking about? What are we talking about? What are we talking

about? He said that as if that was an option when he played. Are we talking about... What the fuck are you talking about? David, I'm not going on the field to play center. I'm a celebrity now. What are you talking about? You have never been a tight end in your life. Tight end?

Yeah, but if anybody put the pads on, I'm going out on the slant route I'm a celebrity now what are you talking about if I'm in tight end

you fucking dweeb I'm just saying I'm not going on the field you fucking light up at left tackle

you fucking ding dong if I'm in tight end let me get the screen that's what I'm talking about I'm a tight end. Let me get the screen. That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about going one-on-one.

That was the craziest shit. Yes, you would get smoked, I bet, if you were a tight end. I can't believe you tried to let that fly if I'm a tight end. I'm a full-grown man. I would rough those kids up. That's an option if I'm a tight end. Are you lucky to have me? I can block.

I got soft hands. My worst opinion is I think I would do okay if you stuck me in there for a few snaps. Yeah. I'd be great. Yeah. Even though I weigh like 130 pounds less than I did at my prime. I would get creamed just like I always did. I would be the exact same.

I'd be all state. You're not as strong as you were then. I'm more nimble. Yeah, but you're not nearly as strong. You're more nimble now than you were in high school? Oh, I'm much more nimble, dude. For sure. Yeah, big time.

But yeah, no, I just think about how strong. No, I. No. If I was a tight end. Listen, if there's any high school football coaches listening and you want to do like a fundraiser, let the boys come out there. With a celebrity. Yeah, let the four of us come through.

Oh, you want to go run Oklahoma's, break your fucking hip? No, dude, I'm telling you again, I want to play tight end. I don't want to lock horns with the young bucks. All right? They've had the old bull. You just want to catch a screen and get an open field tackle from like a high school middle linebacker? You think you can handle that know that no i want to drop the boom on a middle linebacker yeah all right i'm married these kids don't know shit about pain i'm ready to go all right they do know

shit about pain they all have health insurance no yeah they tackle every day. When was the last time you fell down? Yeah. It sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I fear falling down so much. Yeah, dude. Yeah, man. Are you kidding? I go step by step. Especially, I think about, yeah, when we were kids, we wanted to hit.

I don't. Yeah. Oh, God, now. They still don't admit they masturbate. They're still pent up. You don't, nerd. Yeah, we were admitting it all the time. Yeah, we were.

By junior, senior year, yeah, everyone was like yeah this rocks this is the new cool thing i just want to bully again yeah i know you do i know that that's what it is yeah it's not acceptable anymore no man those were the days. We were full and on involved in hazing. It was not good. Sean Jordan, time for your fourth pick. Wait, what? No, go ahead. Oh, no. I was just reminded of the time that we taught our coach what sharting is.

And then the one kid we always picked on got picked on because of sharting. Like we told our coach. Remember this, Sam? We told Barrett what sharting is. Yeah. And then Giblets was like, you coach, you shart. That's disgusting. He's like, shut up, Giblets.

That's what we all do. We all do it. Yeah. You're leaving out the part where he was like, oh, there's a name for that. I do it all the time. Yeah, that's right. I just leave it in the bathroom, make the wife pick it up. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Coach. That guy was an animal. Yeah. Anyone who coaches high school football is a fucking. But this guy, like, he would park his truck on the field. All the other coaches were afraid of him physically.

There was a lot going on there. He asked us if we liked fellatio. You boys like blowjobs? Tijuana, $8. What part? Shit. Literally. That's a direct quote.

At a team dinner. Yeah. At a team dinner. Yeah, he was a lot. Yeah. Shout out. Shout out. Shout out, Tim.

Shout out, Giblets. Nah. All right. John Jordan. Shout out, Giblets. Personal, but really fun at the skate park. It's always fun. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You're never supposed to, but it's always fun oh yeah yeah you know you're never supposed to but it's like it's just especially if you like you've been trying to trick or something for a while you do it and then you just you just for me anymore i'm done if i land whatever trick i think that i want to do that day and just sit down and chill and like i mean gosh it's just the best outdoor indoor doesn't matter just hanging out back home it's rad i mean people like don't even want to go out to the bars anymore it's just like oh we'll just go to the park skate for a while and then we'll just go to the park do a party you just bring like a 12 or something like that on ice yeah yeah i don't think that's gonna be enough to come down

a few bottle of crown you know it'll it'll, it gets rowdy. What do you bring? Like 36 white claw. I have to explain to everyone that it's, it's a white claw day now and it will be forever. No more. I bet they got something to call you when you bring those around. No, we used to go to Hartford. Hartford was like very public,

but nobody ever really, cause we didn't, we weren't doing anything crazy. It'd just be on the scene, but were we'd just chill and skate and then it'd be like we were just drinking water or something but yeah it was never it was never an issue that's the thing at the skate park most of the time it wasn't us doing anything as i'm saying that we're out there with who's us yeah like the skaters it was people that would like come and yell shit from their cars or like upset idiot dads or whatever like we didn't do much we just we would you came out you came up at a time

before skateboarding was like cool wasn't cool yet and it was especially in south dakota scumbags and people would like roll by and just you know scream stuff and we would obviously have stuff to say and they would come back i mean it would it was never us starting stuff we just wanted to seriously go no it was never you it was never us it was never you guys skateboarding elizabeth was like the only stronghold it was the bastion for scumbags like that was like the first place people went to smoke weed you know dalliances and early intercourse lots of fights up there oh yeah bear maze no no skateboard i was never gonna walk up to someone and be like hey don't do that here you know because you just you feel like a like a like a mark if you do that but i never wanted people to be i wanted i was like when people would litter like graffiti i'm like

stop it that's what that's what people think we do all the time and that's why they hate it here uh if it was nice graffiti sure but it never was it wasn't like i don't know somebody black larat it wasn't some dude from paris going down there and like making a point it was just dude some kid named randy putting boner on the bowl yeah yeah which i think is still art still funny like later and stuff and you're like you guys stop doing it but it is i don't know it's just fun just to have just have some beers on the scene and just sit there and chill out skate park's great skate yeah it's great i could never do it while i was skating though that's that's a whole different thing because then you're like what are

you just you're just doing that while you're trying to like do tricks and stuff it seems bonkers to me yeah i feel like it's a young man's game to drink a skate park if i rolled up now they're calling the cops yeah no for sure that's why you have to do a trick or two first you have to you have to do a trick or two so they know that you at least are a skateboarder and then yeah if i hit him with like a sick like no comply to christ there you know if i if i drop if i drop a sick you know blunt grind those are tricks man those are all tricks that don't go together but they are tricks and good on you i know i used to lurk i was a hardcore lurker i was the bull troll and blunt

those are those are good pulls oh blunts this if that's the sweetest butteriest trick there is i could never do i could do a nose blunt i can't do a regular blunt dustin dolan shout out dustin dolan a lot of blunt slides on dust Dolan. You got it. Skate Park. Dana made banana bread. I got a feast. I'm living. I just want you to know I spelled skate park with an 8. Nice.

I bet you do. David, time for your fourth and your final pick. Fourth pick. Really any type, but I'm taking graduation. ceremony oh yeah gosh just always fun remember emily's white coat ceremony sam oh yeah oh what is what what his wife got her doctor jacket we were in there yeah we were in there and we were out there but really any time it's always hot it's always like one weird guy, and you're like, oh, for real?

Yeah. Yeah. Look at him. Yeah, everybody's in a good mood anyways. They're going to forget. Yeah, graduation is always good. And then my fifth round lightning pick, oh, the laundromat. Oh, yeah.

Sure. Love drinking at the laundromat. I like that they have some that are bars, too. Like, they know. They're like, yeah. But specifically not the bar ones. sure love love drinking at the laundry man oh man they have some that are bars too that like they know they're like yeah yeah but i specifically not the bar ones no for sure for sure yeah yeah shout out to the brainwash but like because it would always be like a fun you're away from your roommates you're there for a couple hours you probably listen to some music yeah i love love drinking at the uh laundromat suds and suds and Sioux Falls. I don't mind them. I had to go to the one in Glendale a few times.

Yeah. Oh, when our laundry machines broke? Because they were from the 60s? I lugged all of, I think I lugged yours and Zach's shit down there one time too because I just just, I wasn't doing much. I was like this will help. Our laundry machines were so old that they were probably sold with a

racially insensitive mascot. You know what I mean? They were like so fucking, they were like so old. they were probably sold with a racially insensitive mascot you know what i mean like they were like so fucking they were like so i'm not gonna it sounded it sounded like they were filming like real steel in the laundry room sometimes because two of the two of the legs were off of the washer so it was it would it would go like this when it would get going and it would move i swear to god five six feet across the room by the end of the time digging a hole in the house i think it did break like tile and everything underneath it it was like burrowing it broke a hole in the wall that's those things where i'm like boy that check on your house sometimes landlord that you know i wasn't gonna fix it i'd you remember i'd put like 12 pack box

under it all the time i'd be like i'm doing what i can but i don't know how to fix the washer i had a refrigerator that would scamper across when you turned it on the highest cooling setting do you think they knew that when they were testing them they were like when they were okay there's like a one in five chance that five years down the line this fridge will scamper yeah probably i don't know if they were testing them. I was living in what was effectively a favela. I mean, it was a war-torn zone, you know? Just glad we had refrigerated food

for all the dumpster goods we put in there. Favela. Sean Jordan, it is time for your final pick. I'm going to go extremely specific, but it is a fountain in Philadelphia at about two in the morning after my buddy got married. I don't know how we did it.

I'll never know how we did this, but we all took full, probably 12, 13 of us, full bottles of wine each, got in the fountain, in our underwear, set our clothes on the side, and it wasn't Love Park,

but it was the other big one, like down the street from the Rocky Stairs, and we were in this fountain for out three hours i mean it's shocking to me that nobody said anything inside of the fountain inside of the fountain cops drove by it was crazy it was one of the craziest things i've ever been a part of where i'm like this is they're just letting us do this. So all of my experiences in Philadelphia line up with this story. Apparently, I was shocked. It was right across from our hotel.

Cause we were like, let's go hop in the fountain for a couple seconds, you know? And then we were in there with, with no like wine or anything. We were just in there and we're like, go get some wine maybe. And then we just,

we just finished it all in this top, in this fountain at like two in the morning it was amazing i don't think there's anything that the law could do to you that would be a more fitting punishment than whatever happened to your bodies being in a public fountain in philadelphia for three hours it was pretty intense so sean's fifth pick is inside of an important memory yeah okay that was a good pick damn your final pick uh i gotta go with passenger and moving car oh yeah love that we had to take it yep yeah i'm surprised it went this long we used to do it because everybody

wanted to be nice yeah well i think the wonderling score on this one was pretty low the brute strength is there you know he did the bench 35 times yeah yeah yeah yeah do it all that we'd be like let's go get a rack and just and just drive around we'd go looping i mean a lot come on who are you telling man it's a good twist on this too is drinking in an uber yeah i had that i do that i didn't even know you could do that that's crazy you telling man it's a good twist on this too is drinking in an uber yeah i had that i do that i didn't even know you could do that that's crazy you coke can it man you get like a 20 ounce of coke or whatever and half it you know what i mean like brass monkey but with the first time when ubers had just come out like it was like a new thing that not everybody knew about it was a

lawless time it was a lawless time we were at brongers and he got like two big ubers to take us somewhere and he was like just bring your drinks to take us somewhere. And he was like, just bring your drinks. You can just bring your drinks in there. So we just like all brought our drinks. And like the driver was like, I guess so. I don't know. I guess that's okay. We got an Uber limo one time and they let us.

Yeah. Crazy. I kind of think you can if you're in the back of like a Escalade or whatever. Yeah. If you're an Uber Black or an Uber XL, do whatever you want. Yeah. I don't know if you're in the back of a Prius, if it's the same rules, but it feels like you can. If the Uber shows up and the running lights on the sideboards turn on, go crazy.

Yeah, you can drink in that shit. Yeah, Morphic kind of smells like cigarettes in there. Yeah, exactly. If you're in Rhode Island, you can drink in any car you want. Is that true or does that just feel true? That's how it feels there. Yeah. I don't know anything about Rhode Island, other than my fiance went to college there i was just there last weekend shout out rogue island and it was the situation where all the comics went back

to the airbnb and the only beers left were the sponsored beers so unbeknownst to us they were all like 12 ipas oh yeah so yeah cut to me at 4 a.m just like calling people in my phone i haven't talked to in years who i think have some like passing like you know connection to rhode island and i'm answering and being like what's the matter why are you calling it's like didn't you go to school here? They're like, who is this? Excellent pick. Passenger to moving vehicle. Time for my final pick.

Man, he's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. There's actually two. You're gonna do it. I want you to do it. Do what? I think you're gonna do it. I don't think I'm gonna do it. No, no, I'm not doing that.

No. But it's fun. No. No. I. Just. No, no, no. I can't take that. I can't.

I can't. I'm a public figure now. I'm a public figure now i'm a public figure of course we'll go through the drive-thru yeah now hold on i'm gonna take the zoo oh man i've never done that that'd be amazing oh yeah now there's times when you're allowed to do it yeah like zoo lights that kind of thing but uh yeah just just having some drinks at the zoo makes every animal a little bit funnier really now that we're done anywhere right i mean yeah yeah it's more fun everywhere most places you can't do it there and many places yeah yeah yeah it's like

it's it does feel great cracking into a beer somewhere you thought you couldn't. Yeah, it's crazy. Pretty much across the board. High school. Botanic gardens. Botanic gardens for sure. Yeah. Oh, man. National park. Yeah.

The mall. A parking garage. A regional park. Yeah. Well, the mall, it's funny because there's like international waters because they have like, they had shenanigans back in Sioux Falls. But so we'd go there, we'd have a few, and then we'd go christmas shopping and i'm like this doesn't suck at all now this is pretty fun i had parking lot of a hospital on my draft board okay that

feels like an important place to drink oh yeah we've done that a few times like waiting for buddies to get like stitches and stuff uh maybe you're picking your wife up from work. Yeah. Just hand her the keys. You got it. She drives home. To recap, David, you went first. You took movie theater, Amtrak observation car, Popeyes 2 for Tuesdays, graduations, and laundromats. Sean, you went second. You took public parks, floating a river, mini golf, the skate park, and a specific fountain in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Sam, you went third. You took the beach, the bar after it's closed, a dry wedding, a high school sports game, and as the passenger in a moving vehicle. I went last. I took public transportation, the street, Disneyland, driving a boat, or the zoo. We already said everything we left on the board. All erudite and dignified places

to tie one on if I do say so myself we want to hear yours hit us up at allfantasypod on twitter allfantasypodcast at gmail.com you want to hear who's going to say it who's going to say driving a car shout out to super producer Marissa her pick would have say driving a car?

Shout out to super producer Marissa. Her pick would have been driving a car. I think I'm pretty sure we can safely say that that would have been Marissa's pick. I think it's legal in Canada. I think it's all above board, by the way. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean.

Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shaklakity! that was a hate gun podcast