All Fantasy Everything - Best Worst Movies (w/ Matt Braunger, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)
Episode Date: February 21, 2019Ding Donger Matt Braunger stops by the Fortress of Soliddudes to draft the best worst movies ever.Be sure to check out Matt Braunger's podcast, Advice from a Dipshit.Episode Guest:Matt Braung...er @Braunger IG: @BraungerSupport the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.
The podcast that was stuck at work because of a couple of celebrities who will go unmentioned.
Oh yeah, it's really easy to trace.
I'm not.
I'm the same two celebrities.
You hang out with celebrities all the time too.
It could be anybody.
I could be like, who knows when we're recording this?
Was one of them you?
No.
No.
But thank you.
Thank you very much.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a comedy podcast.
That's right.
Yeah. There it is.
We got some rapport going.
We got some rapport going.
Could you have gotten out of this escape room?
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't say escape room, so now they know exactly
who I'm talking about.
Should we start over? No, it's all good.
They got out of it, we can just say
they got out of it quick. I just
misdiagnosed when I was supposed to be leaving work.
Is what we'll say.
Fuck it. You trying to get me fired?
We can start over. Sean, no, we're not
starting over. No, man, you gotta keep it on the last. Fuck bad boy records. I said it. We show to get me fired? We can start over. Sean, no, we're not starting over. No, man, you got to keep it on wax.
We're leaving this in.
Fuck Bad Boy Records.
I said it.
We show them the gristle.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, man, I'll take the heat off of you.
Fuck Nancy Pelosi.
I said it.
On wax.
Yeah, we're coming out.
That's the crazy new beef of the year.
Fuck it.
David Boy versus Nancy Pelosi?
That's a weird one.
I love it.
Yeah, nobody saw it coming.
We used to date.
It's a thing.
She likes Hebe W's.
Yeah, yeah.
Hebe W's.
Hebe W's.
Boy, I've never heard that.
Yeah.
It took me a second.
Yeah.
Hebe W's.
Yeah, that's fun.
I'm starting it.
I'm in.
Hebe W's.
That's perfect.
That is perfect.
It's one of those things
where you think about
even trying to tag it with anything. I think so. I haven't heard anybody heebie-dovey that's perfect that is perfect it's one of those things where you think about even
trying to tag it with anything i think so i haven't heard anybody i never heard
i'm a heebie-dovey too yeah i'm bald i'm a double heebie i'm a heebie-dovey we call you a heebie-jeebie
emma arnold has a case of the heebie-jeebies. I'll tell you that. Yep. Yep. What a great way.
We just need better terms to fuck fat dudes.
We do.
It'll catch on.
Getting the heebie-jeebies?
We need like a, yeah.
People will be fucking fat dudes if heebie-jeebies are what they're called.
You know what MILF did for hot moms?
Oh my God.
We need a MILF for fat dudes.
Yeah.
Like that would change the whole, nobody was, people weren't,
I don't think people were like,
I don't want to see mom porn.
And then,
who was it?
John Cho
spoken into existence?
American Pie?
Oh, I guess so.
That was him.
That was the first note, right?
I just watched it
the other day.
It's on,
Netflix just got them all
or something.
Is that where MILF came from?
I don't remember it
before that, right?
Wow. That was the, she's a MILF, mom? I don't remember it before that, right? Wow.
She's a MILF.
Mom, I'd like to fuck.
Yeah, dude.
And then everyone was like, oh, shit.
And I was like, you left out the two.
And no one heard me.
No one heard me.
I'm screaming in the theater.
Guys.
I was asked to leave.
It really made me that angry.
All right, well, I want you to ruin the night.
Did you use the is,
God damn it.
Let go of me.
You're crazy.
Unhand me.
Unhand me.
Thump, thump, thump.
Because I'm getting horribly beaten.
Miltif.
Miltif is still pretty cool.
Huh?
Would it be Miltif?
Mom, I'd like... Miltif miltif miltif miltif
i like to think that the first time somebody like they heard milf when they rented that
and then just did a line and they looked up and they they heard that and they go brazzers
you okay man it's that point in the cocaine night where you just start saying things that don't make sense.
Brazzers.
And they're like, Brazzers.
We should start a hot time science pool and a pool science.
Just as the light of morn seeping through the blinds.
Now let me send some text messages that are full of words.
None of which go together.
I'm 45 minutes away from trying to sleep and failing
oh yeah
my heart punching its way
through my ribcage
when Starbucks open
that is a rough one just looking down like man I'd love
for the rest of my body to want to go to sleep
just like my brain does
my head is so tired
my mouth is tired
my mouth is so much talking.
Oh, yeah.
I'm tired of the amount of listening I've been doing.
Yeah.
The last active, really staring at someone's mouth while they move.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's that kind of podcast, yo.
It's that kind of podcast.
It's that kind of podcast.
Sean S. Jordan on Twitter.
What's happening?
Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on the gram.
A lot of those.
We've seen a lot of those lately.
A lot of those. What do you got coming up, Sean?
Sean.
Sean, what do you have coming up?
Sean. It's weird hearing
sometimes people don't say your first name a lot.
It's weird hearing.
Laura's nephew
calls me Sean Jordan.
Laura's nephew, four-year-old nephew, calls me Sean Jordan.
Whoa, that kid's a psycho.
A lot of people call you Sean.
No, I mean, I get it, too.
Oh, well.
I never called an adult man by his full name when I was four.
I guess so.
That's some new shit.
But that's a show.
But Sean has one of those first,
where you say the first and last name together.
That's true.
Sean Jordan.
There's a show at Rev Hall that's coming up on March 8th.
There is.
There's still a couple of tickets.
It'd be really fun if everybody in Portland went.
If you need to travel a couple miles, that'd be fun, too.
None of us are doing stand-up again after this.
I'm done.
We're out.
We're out of the game.
I'm going to crip walk right out of there.
Could be.
With what we're going to do after that show, maybe it is.
Well, Blueface has been hitting me up hard since he found that I downloaded the song yeah well i still can't tell if i like it i don't know either have you
heard blue face bronco no i can't fucking i like him i think i think so too he posted this instagram
video he's flying in first class and he's like i'm up here in first class with all these caucasians
but he's like putting the cameras in people's faces. He's like, I'm sitting here with this Australian guy,
and the Australian guy's like stoked.
Yeah, that's pretty great.
And he's got that picture where he used to have
the Dragon Ball Z hair or whatever.
So Blueface is this rapper from South Central.
He's a crip.
And he's got a huge face tattoo,
and he raps offbeat, kind of like E-40.
But not like E-40.
But not like good E-40. But not like E-40.
But people like it for some reason.
I like it.
His song Fatiana is real big.
It's all sinister sounding.
It just sounds real creepy like if you're walking
in a hip hop haunted house or something.
Got it.
OK.
It's fun.
I'll check it out.
Don't say my business plans on the fucking air, dude.
Hip hop haunted house, dude.
I'm into wrecking shit on the podcast
today. I can feel it.
Aaron shit out. I'm going to play Big Al
at the haunted house.
I'm going to play it.
I can't even. We're not doing it this
time, but if I can use this, have you done
scariest rap songs?
No.
I just thought of like six.
Yeah, they'll grave dig
his whole album. There's a nightmare on
my street. What's scarier than that?
That's the scariest one. What's scarier than that?
I think I could fight Mike Tyson.
That's even scarier.
Or the fact
that parents just don't
understand. That's a horrifying
idea. Also
summertime, too much opportunity. It's true. It's like idea also summertime too much opportunity it's
true it's like pick a month that's four months yeah i feel like this is getting very will smith
century yeah god damn it the thing that's scary david come in the door and fuck it all up i feel
like this is sort of a will smith theme that you got going on it's rap are there other rappers the
scariest thing in summertime was in the video, somebody had a bright white steering wheel in their car.
When I was a kid, I was like, the fuck?
You're going to a barbecue?
That's how you know that guy was bulletproof.
Oh, yeah.
That guy kept wet wipes on.
Oh, man.
I'm rolling up with my white steering wheel at the barbecue.
Wet wipes on the ready.
He's got a CD wallet full of wet wipes.
Go and check me, boo.
Revolution Hall.
Yeah.
March 8th.
March 8th.
There are still tickets for the early show.
You know, we'll be in Boise.
You might make an appearance at that show.
I might be there, man.
I might be there.
David Borey might make an appearance.
We don't fucking know.
I very well could be in town.
We will be there for the sold out live AFEs.
It would be weird if you guys didn't come to the show.
What a weird world we're living in now.
I got my fingers in a lot of pots.
I know you do, baby.
I'm working,
speaking of pots,
I'm working a,
us going to a
Trailblazer game angle.
Nice.
On the night of the 9th.
Do it.
Yeah.
That sounds great.
I'm working on that angle.
Yeah, that angle.
Yeah.
That's one of the angles.
So go see that.
What else is going on?
You were just in Portland.
I was just in Portland.
I had a Valentine's Day
weekend with the old lady.
Went to a couple's massage three hours long
sounds like you must have massaged a couple so it was like a couple's massage class so there was
like 10 couples in there yeah and then it was and then they pulled a fishbowl and you had to put
your keys in it and i was like i don't have a car it's whatever the lipstick is right yeah
okay that was a lipstick on the door and then you have to booth that person check this out And I was like, I don't have a car. It's whatever color the lipstick is, right? Yeah.
That was the lipstick on the door.
And then you have to booth that person.
Check this out.
Which was a term that didn't get drafted last week.
They said to wear loose clothing.
Some dude had jeans on.
Team Strong.
Nice.
Sometimes you do that bounce pass that Steph did in the All-Star game the other night.
Then one of these two comes up and kaboom. Or both of us.
Shaq back with shake-em-up fries.
I know I'm not the classiest man in the world,
but yes, you are. I for sure
know you're not supposed to get a massage in jeans.
No, that's fucking crazy.
That's like the only rule. That's making them work
too hard.
I saw loose clothes and I'm like, joggers.
Barely a t-shirt. Biggest hoodie
I have. Yoggers.
And El Boogie. I'm like, joggers. Barely a t-shirt. Yoggers. Biggest hoodie I have. Yoggers. And El Boogie.
Well, and it's like, I strip down.
I keep my underwear on.
I'm naked.
I don't even take, I take my underwear off.
Good for you.
I've never gotten a sock.
Wrap my penis around my leg.
You're going to tuck it up.
Winner rules.
That's what, so El Boogie is a modest gal.
And right away, I was like like I guarantee these folks are getting naked
you can smell it on them
that guy's got jeans on he's probably
naked in the car
and so yeah she ended up
you know taking her shirt off and it was you know
couldn't see anything but I was like this is
normal and I even whispered I was like
normally this ends up being
then what'd you do after that she took her shirt off and then what
what'd you do after then I She took her shirt off and then what?
What'd you do after that?
Then I looked around all sinister.
Oh, you looked around?
You couldn't even hear it cock.
Why'd you say cock?
Because of the gun.
Oh, a gun?
What? I killed everyone.
Oh, man.
That took a turn.
I still finished, but that took a turn.
Turned into a couple massage.
I thought it was going to be sexy.
No.
No. It was the weird part to not have that turn into
the lover's dance.
Which, by the way, I'm bummed I didn't draft that.
The lover's dance is good.
Normally, when you're using oils and stuff,
you're like, well, yeah, we're going to
keep going down the natural path.
Yeah, when you're using...
So, here's my question
about the oils.
Oh, sorry.
Got me again.
Classic social bit.
You're such a rascal with your butt.
No.
Okay.
So here's my question.
Does the oil.
God damn it, Sean.
Well, ask a question.
I'm trying to work.
I'm at fucking work here.
I don't come to your job and I don't know what you do.
I don't know what you do. I do call in the
ABC mouse every now and then. Yeah, I work at a prominent
website.
Is Sean there? Just chat.
Can you see him? What's he doing? He's not
reading a book, is he? Sean having a good day.
Good. Good. Okay.
Bye. Is he drinking soda? He said he was
off soda.
My question was, if you when you god damn it i swear
to god i'm gonna get through does the oil rub into your skin or do you stay greasy it kind of dries
but like i always like to take a shower after yeah that's what i like to just leave it on
all day that's whatever it's it's weird that's weird to me. Yeah, that seems wild. But I do like to rinse it off,
go home and rinse it off.
Your hands,
it looked like I just dipped them
in Crisco or something.
My nails were all shiny.
But my back,
I didn't,
I'm a texture,
I don't,
I get weird with texture.
So I didn't want a lot of lotion
used on me
or oil or whatever.
Yeah.
You're getting all red
just talking about it.
I know,
I'm all clenched up.
And he says,
I'm going to cut my dick off.
Go get some.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't.
I'm not thrilled about it.
But it was fun.
And then we went to a movie.
And we went to a Harry Potter symphony the next day.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
What an engaging Valentine's Day.
They screen Harry Potter.
So you're at a movie.
And then the symphony just scores the whole movie.
So instead of music playing.
But you can still hear the talking.
Yeah.
So it's just like you're at the movie.
Symphony scores it i saw uh the pirates uh the caribbean movie the first one at at the pantages and they had
uh which is that the is that the one that's on sunset uh on hollywood yeah right by the w right
yeah and they they had a they had a dude like when we got there like playing on a giant organ, playing pirate music.
Yeah, dude, it's sick.
Like a pirate hat.
That's pretty funny.
And then he sunk into the ground
and then the screen turned into a pirate flag.
And he's like, brr, brr, brr.
Whoa.
And me and Kanaan were like, fuck yeah, pirates.
You and Kyle were like.
It was so great.
You're just raised, bum, bum, bum.
And they're like, sirs, you're not supposed to
sneak down again.
And I was kicked out of the plantation.
I keep getting thrown out of theaters.
Out of here, yo.
Sirs, he's not a real pirate.
You're out of here.
We shouldn't have let those guys with jerseys on in here.
Pirate? Just Raiders jerseys?
It's not a Raiders.
Pirate game.
So yeah, March 8th.
Rev Hall.
The G Asylum.
Yes, sir.
Coolguyjokes77 on Instagram.
What do you got coming up? Come see me. Headline Go Bananas. That's about it. The G is silent. Yes, sir. Cool guy jokes 77 on Instagram. Yeah.
What do you got coming up?
Come see me.
Headline, go bananas.
Go bananas.
Go bananas.
February.
Yeah, I'm very excited.
February 28th through March 3rd with Zach Toscani.
The next weekend, I'm up.
Calm down.
We hate Zach now. Fuck Zach, dude.
Where is Zach?
Gym?
Probably the gym.
I think he's probably over there.
That dude and his fucking shoulders.
Oh, yeah.
Cannonballs.
Old cannonballs to Scotty.
Goddamn diver's body.
Fuck him in and he would.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Kiss him, too.
And rub their necks because they're sore from the gym.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ask them about their day.
Yeah.
I hope it was good.
Love it. Yeah. You know? sore from the gym. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ask them about their day. Yeah. Hope it was good. Love it.
Yeah.
You know,
develop a strong bond.
Yeah.
It's not even necessarily
a sex thing, you know.
No, it's just like
body appreciation thing.
It's nice to see you, man.
It just makes you feel safe.
Yeah, you guys just
get each other, man.
For real.
That's nice.
Yeah, you know,
so come to that.
Did you guys show
a hell of shows
in the Midwest?
The weekend after that
we're going to be
in Portland. Two shows sold. Almost, the weekend after that, we're going to be in Portland.
Two shows sold.
Almost.
The only way you could come see us is that last Rev Hall show, right?
It's the early one.
Yeah.
Early Rev Hall show.
Other than that, you're fucking done.
You're done.
Handful of tickets left.
The early burly.
The early burly.
That's kind of it for now.
I got some other stuff.
You got a Chinese New Year
Seattle Supersonics hat.
I got a Chinese New Year
Seattle Supersonics hat.
It's one of the coolest things
I've ever seen.
Man, it's really my way.
I really like...
Shout out to Instagram
for the commercial
that led me to the website.
See, sometimes they do it.
Sometimes they help.
Oh, yeah.
Most of the time not,
but sometimes you're like,
I do want that.
Yeah, sometimes social media
works for me. I'm just going just gonna start saying stuff hopefully my phone's
listening and it'll show me where to buy it listen man just go on yeah you know what i mean
italian joel prisbilla alternate blazers jersey all right all right it's out there
i googled um german uncle buck poster, and it came up.
Whoa, really?
This was like eight years ago, and I got it.
Oh, you have?
Yeah.
A line mit Uncle Buck.
It's on my...
Uncle Buck.
Which translated means alone with Uncle Buck.
Germans can't help but make it creepy.
What a whole other movie that is.
It's framed, and it's in German with McKellie Culkin of allein in zu Haus,
which means alone in the house.
It's not alone.
It's alone in the house.
Jesus Christ, Germany.
Everything sounds like a porn.
I got it framed, and then when I was picking up the frame, someone behind me just goes,
oh, my fucking God.
And I turned, and it was Kyle.
He didn't see that I was buying it.
Really?
At the frame store?
He was getting something else framed.
Oh, my God, that's so cool.
Oh, hey, man.
He didn't see it was me.
Oh, hey, man.
He's holding Van Halen's belt or something.
And he just throws it out.
Yeah, David Lee Roth's actual hair in a bag that he's framing.
He's getting Bob Seger framed.
The real Bob Seger. I don't know how many years he's got left in him bag that he's framing. He's getting Bob Seger framed. The real
Bob Seger. I don't know how many years he's got left in him.
Yeah. Frame him up.
Just framing a piece of jerky.
A piece of beef jerky.
Fucking Kyle.
Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
I went straight from
driving here right to on the mic.
Yeah, man. Thank you, buddy.
Thanks, man.
Oh, thank you.
I appreciate that.
I'm in traffic mode.
I'm my fight zone buddy.
Although with President's Day, it wasn't that bad.
We're recording on President's Day.
There we are.
Because we are dedicated.
Matt Bronger in the studio.
By the studio in our living room.
Matt Bronger's here.
Yuck, yuck, yuck.
You remain not in the studio.
At Bronger on Twitter.
Yes.
At Bronger on Instagram yes at bronger on instagram
yes uh at bronger in this house right now yes what do you got coming up you not what you got
coming up you did something yes yeah you put it out recently yes talk to us about your new special
it's called finally live in portland i recorded the last year of bridgetown uh and uh yeah self
produced it uh got it uh distributed by-produced it got it
distributed by Comedy Dynamics
it's this exact same thing that
Jim Gaffigan did and then what David Cross
is doing so it's like it's on
everything from Amazon to Google Play to
iTunes to kind of just like multiple
insane platforms to hundreds
shit I don't even know about but like you
Google it you can find a way to
watch it at like very low cost.
Eventually, it's going
to be streaming
if you just pay subscriptions
to whatever, you know, but like, I don't know
when that's going to be right now.
Right now you can rent it, you can listen
to it, you know, if you have Spotify, it's on all that
shit. So like, you know, I'm just trying to
just get it to as many
people as humanly possible as possible we're not
going to steer anyone wrong uh we have not yet no i guess in our opinions we haven't i feel like we
do a pretty good job yeah i could not suggest it harder oh dude thank you so much you're one of the
funniest comedians of all time you're so fucking good yeah always have been it's crazy and i saw
i saw that material it's amazing yeah and And then, I mean, your previous albums,
I still remember listening to Soak Up the Night,
which was your first one, right?
First, yeah.
Walking around Portland shortly after I started comedy.
Hilarious.
Just being like, oh my God.
And then thinking, maybe I could find Eggly Bagel Face.
Yeah, he was in the phone book.
Well, it's like my most downloaded stuff
i realized are just the crazy stories and like yeah you know like wild catten and uh two men
uh at the ghost of the two-man party yeah and like those like that's where like now and it's
and it's funny like my last special i talk about my ex and it's next
bit special i talk about my fiance it's the same one that's great isn't that crazy because we broke
up when i did the last special and like at it after and when we got back together and she watched
the special at my at my bud hoffman's house we had a little party and she's just like every joke's
fucking about me man and like the new one has a has a joke that's so long it's
literally two tracks and there's a story of us taking mushrooms on the fourth of july and and
and that was kind of like a thing of just like yeah you know we should we should get married
but it's just a crazy it was like me just losing my shit on mushrooms on the fourth of july so like
you know there's a lot of that stuff it's mostly mostly like story, story based stuff, but I'm just,
it's one of those things where just had this material burning a hole in my
pocket at the time.
So it was just like,
I just was like,
Hey,
Whitney,
Hey,
Ellen,
do you guys have a theater?
And they're like,
yeah,
we got the Paris,
you know,
which used to be a porn theater.
It was a punk theater before that.
That's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it was a new venue at Bridgetown.
So like it had just had this fun energy. Everybody was all stoked to be there. Yeah, right. And it was a new venue at Bridgetown, so it just had this fun energy.
Everybody was all stoked to be there.
Yeah, man. Yep. So anyway,
check it out. And for shows, you can
just go to MattBronger.com.
I'm going to be taking a lot.
I am, but I'm going to start taking
the podcast on the road, just like you guys.
I still have to have
each one of you individually. His podcast is WTF with Mark
with Matt Bronger. I don't know if you've heard of it.
It's called Fresh Air.
Advice from a dipshit.
Advice from a dipshit with Matt Bronger.
Now, I'm not thrilled that you call yourself a dipshit.
I think everyone's a dipshit.
All right.
And I think it's-
You fucking dipshit.
Checkmate.
No, no, but I guess I appreciate that.
Thank you.
But I think it's just i i've reached an age
where i'm just like you got to own your mistakes and realize you wouldn't be without them isn't
that a fun feeling that's when you when you're like you know i do like the backstreet boys and
britney spears and yeah i shouldn't have put cigarettes out of my arm when i was 22 but i'm
not gonna lie about any of that stuff without him yeah that's what laura the other day she's like
you ever done cocaine i'm like yeah i mean I don't know where this is coming from.
She just asked you that?
Yeah, I know.
Do you remember?
Look at this.
There used to be an old show on like Fox, like when Fox had like five comedies, like
when Fuck Network had debuted in The Simpsons.
There was a thing where it was like a guy, a single dad with a son, and it would cut
to old film footage.
And I remember this one where his dad, his kid was like, dad, did you,
have you ever smoked marijuana?
And he looks at his kid and it cuts to like some old black and white.
And this guy goes over 50 million times and it cuts back to him.
And he's like, I tried it. You know, like something like that.
That's exactly,
I said his share would popped into my mind when you said that to you.
Have I?
I mean, I was at a party.
Over 50 million times.
Somebody sneezed and I was breathing.
That's great.
I've been in the same room as him.
We're going to take that to South By this year.
Oh, that's fucking awesome.
March 11th, we're going to be at South By Southwest.
We were there last year.
It's such a blast.
It's so fun.
We did have a blast. It's fun. john puked red wine onto my calf nice yeah
it's great right on sixth street yeah man oh you know good times but like i feel like that
leads into uh our thing because these movies you know yeah they're bad but they're great but you
like them anyway these movies for dipshits. Yes. These are dipshit movies.
But just to put a cap on it.
You got anything coming up?
Oh, wait.
Just one second.
I'm sorry.
And I'm not trying to move it along.
Oh, please, please, please.
Of course not.
Finally live in Portland.
Yes.
Available all over the place.
Yes.
If you fuck with us at all, you fuck with Bronco.
Exactly.
We'd be saying this even if you weren't here.
But seriously.
Thanks, man.
If you're not old enough to like to be like a
like a godfather
for like the kind of comedy
we do
god bless you
you know but like
cause we're only like
a few years apart
but like
couldn't have been
more of an influence
for real
so like if you like
what we do
you're gonna like
what Brock and I
so fuck with that
and then uh
advice from a dipshit
fuck with that too
get on it
uh
I'm Ian Carmel
at Ian Carmel
across platforms
Ian Carmel Twitter Ian Carmel Across Platforms. A lot of those out there.
Ian Carmel Twitter, Instagram, Jewish Ease app.
Jewish Waze.
They deliver marijuana.
Oh, boy.
I've been spending some money on there.
Just come to...
The live AFE in LA already sold out.
We will be doing more.
So the next couple months, we're going to be doing more of those. So look out for those. We're fucking stoked live AFE in LA already sold out. We will be doing more. So we'll be the next couple months.
We're going to be doing more of those.
So look out for those.
We're fucking stoked.
I love how much this thing has taken off.
Like when you told me the idea, I was like, fuck, that's boss.
What a fucking cool idea, right?
It's so good.
I know.
It's so good because it's like I do that anywhere in my head.
Right.
Exactly.
You know, it's like high fidelity, how people just like make these lists of the things they love.
Favorite movie of all time.
And this is like, yeah, it's so good.
But this is like the, it's anyway.
Anyway, like I have to fucking tell people that are listening to how good it is.
It's still nice for us.
All right, old man.
Do you know how podcasts work?
Somebody hit us up on Twitter on Sunday.
Are you going to Petaluma?
Is that this Sunday?
Yeah, wait, let me pull that up real quick.
Somebody was asking. Is it on Sally Tomatoes? It's not this Sunday. I thought you were going somewhere on Sunday. Are you going to Petaluma? Is that this Sunday? Yeah, wait, let me pull that up real quick. Somebody was asking.
It's not this Sunday.
I thought you were going somewhere this Sunday.
So come see us at the
Tree Fort. Oh, yeah.
It'll be in March. March 25th or whatever.
Yeah. Oh, you know
what? April 23rd, I'm
co-headlining Comedy Works Downtown with
Sam Talent. There you go. Nice. That's a great show.
In Denver. Very good. That's a great show. In Denver. Very. In Denver. That's a great show.
But that, yeah, I'll put those tickets out.
Tell them to fucking book me already.
I don't, I didn't even
get booked this time. That's the same thing. I can't get to Denver to save
my damn life. That is the hardest club to get
booked in. Like, Wendy has got everybody
calling her, so it's like, I get it.
You know. I got jokes. But. I got
five jokes.
I am going to be opening for emma arnold on uh february 28th uh march 1st and march 2nd uh february 28th i'll be at hotel petaluma
uh and then mark in in petaluma march 1st i'll be at Barrel Brothers Brewing Company in Windsor, California.
And then on the
2nd, I'll be at Old Growth Cellars
in Eureka, California, which is already
sold out. And then on
March 3rd, I will be driving from
Eureka to Los Angeles,
probably eating Carl's Jr.
and farting alone in a car.
Do you know how far that is? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yeah yeah that's a big one
that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a hall doggy sometimes you gotta do it for your lady
yeah i'm doing it for the lady hit that bagel place man i will well people are saying that
that's not the actual bagel place we're gonna go to both most bagels isn't the spot i don't know
somebody was saying some shit on twitter you gotta do the work you can't read that shit yeah
you gotta put in the work with the lady.
You really do.
So I'm doing that.
But I also just to do comedy to get ready for Portland.
I don't know what else to even throw up there.
What are we going to come up?
I'll be at Florida State University on 420 with Sean O'Connor.
Really?
Really?
And then I'm trying to think what else I got.
That's about it.
So sick. That's about it so sick
that's about it
watch the late late show
go see Faded
hell yeah
uh
oh yeah go see Faded
every Friday
we're gathered here today
in the fortress of solid dudes
not just to remind people
to go see Faded
every Friday night
at 8 o'clock
at Blue Rooster Art Supply
we're fucking bums
Malloy's just punching
dinner plates in the kitchen
I got him
I got you Malloy
I got you, Malloy.
We're gathered here to draft best worst movies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Whatever that means to you.
Best worst movies.
I will be taking high fidelity five times.
Just to piss Sean off and see if I get a reaction out of him.
That was my wish.
So we're drafting that.
Now, the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you.
I'm shooting up tonight.
He's shooting up.
All right, here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh, oh, paper, paper.
Oh, Sean Jordan wins.
Sean won.
Sean Jordan wins.
Kaboom, shake, shake, shake the room.
Boom, shake the room.
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
Boom.
Y'all ready for me?
You probably thought Will Smith was here for a second.
Did you guys think Will Smith was here?
That's why it's good that David wins.
I didn't think.
That's the weirdest Will Smith one.
Jim West.
That's Veronica.
Now, it's up to you to determine the order of the draft.
And coming upon you having won it.
Before you do, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft.
What is that?
Great question.
Well, David, my friend. it's like if you were if you were at the symphony and you haven't really been to the symphony a lot and it's fascinating like you know there's the movie playing the harry
potter playing but you're looking at the symphony and you you look at the conductor then you see the
violin and the viola and the cello and, and the bass, and the horns, and the
drums, and the choir. You think that's fascinating. And then you kind of want to look back down the
line. So, you take another look at the choir, then you look at the drums, then the horns, then the
bass, then the cello, then the viola, then the violin, then the conductor. And as you look at
the conductor, you're like, man, I kind of want to take that in one more time. So, you look at the
conductor again real quick, then you go to the violin, the viola, the cello, the bass,
the horns, the drums, and the choir.
And then just kind of keep going.
So from there, you would go to the choir, the drums, the horns,
the bass, the cello, the viola, the violin, the conductor.
God, it's crazy that you just had that off top.
I'm really glad I'm not high.
I'm really glad I'm not high right now.
You went off top with that.
Wow.
That was crazy that you just saw that like a steel trap i feel high after that
yeah basically what it means is you've been fourth in the first round you pick first in the second
with that in mind sean what will the order of today's draft be uh it's gonna go matt david me
ian all right great i like matt going first because it was your idea i kind of want to see
where the gauge is yeah he likes the hot corner i uh i'm just gonna say like i'm sure
people will be angry because some of my movies they just were like but that's just good i'm
mad right now already i'm kind of bro i these are these are i genuinely love all these movies
oh yeah we'll get you know there's movies like what i how i kind of judged it is like by some
people's definition they're bad yeah you know of my mind kind of in it is like by some people's definition, they're bad. Yeah. You know, of course.
Mine kind of in certain ways, if I, you know.
Well, hey, that's the whole thing is very open and that's OK.
We'll get into some serious conversations.
OK, so for number my number one draft pick, the number one draft.
All right.
And before you do pick that, we're going to take a quick break.
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slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions restrictions may apply let's hear that pick i'm gonna go
roadhouse oh yeah oh patrick swayze yeah dickhead i love patrick swayze you don't think that was
gonna be my first pick it was it was awesome that was definitely i didn't i thought i was safe that
is a movie you'll tell people to watch and be like you'll love it it's awesome they're like what no
matt oh man i'm so bummed you thought you were gonna get roadhouse i didn't he wasn't gonna pick it i did not think you were gonna pick
it that's a great pick it's so good uh who would ever be happy being a bouncer and people are so
quick to shit on that movie where you're like the movie's fucking awesome but it is bad yeah a lot of bad it's absurd sam elliott's in it right
sam elliott you stole my voice sam elliott kicking super high in stretch jeans man yeah
he's so hot he's always kind of sexy he's still sexy he's a wiry you know gravelly old older guy
yeah but he has a thick full head of yeah ov hair. And he's partying with that young lady,
so you know he's still like mixing it up.
And he's also kicking people's ass,
and he's got like a limp.
He's got a bad leg beating everyone's ass.
He's vivacious.
Yeah, he is.
He's vivacious.
He's like, yeah.
It's got two of the best lines.
Do you ever win a fight?
Nobody ever wins a fight.
It is so good.
Isn't he getting stitched up when he says that?
Yeah, and then he's getting stitched.
She goes, doesn't that hurt?
And he goes, pain don't hurt.
Pain don't hurt.
Fuck you, Dalton.
Pain don't hurt.
And his nemesis is amazing.
The guy who says,
I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, another classic line of cinema.
But like, and so like,
even as a kid, I was like, Jesus.
Like, ugh.
Yeah, that is a gnarly line.
It's so evil.
It's such an evil thing to say.
When you look at like,
you look at the whole movie and it's just some dude who runs this town.
Some guy with like money.
Yeah.
Not even like villain money.
He's just got enough to run like a TV money.
Yeah.
I will say though,
he has a line where he's just like,
I'm the reason JC pennies came to this town,
which is a big deal. Yeah. big deal yeah he could run like lennox
south dakota you know i met a guy like that who was low-key like that in a town in oklahoma swear
to god me and clara kane were in i think norman oklahoma one time boomer sooner yeah and this
guy was just talking about how like his dad like ran the town and a bunch of stuff is named after them and then
his wife she was like if i remember it right claire if you're listening uh his wife was like
a native american princess wow but then they married like politically like okay and the guy
was like wild like we walked out of the wine bar he still had the wine is in he smashed the glass
on the ground wow he was like they're
not gonna take me to jail in this town i'm rihanna here yeah i was like whoa sir you are a king and
it's i think it's is it ben gazzara who plays the bad guy the the older guy the older guy is that
his name i don't know his name damn it that guy was scary because he was super scary he was so
unlike anyone else in that movie yeah and he's just like, just pure evil. I guess when I said nemesis,
that was his nemesis.
I meant that guy.
I meant his right hand,
the badass who does like a flip
with a pool cue out of nowhere.
Oh, yeah.
He's just flipping it around.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like the bad guy's showing him off.
Like, look at my dog.
Look at this.
Like this attack dog I have.
My henchman over here.
That's some Sean Jordan shit, dude.
I'll have Sean Jordan pull out the nunchucks on people.
I love it.
I did it one time on an Ian birthday show.
Yeah, that's great.
On security.
That's great.
Another crazy part of that movie, he has sex and then just puts on jeans without underwear.
Man, that's crazy.
That is crazy.
That is like.
And he's doing like.
That's like some, that's some wild shit to be doing.
He's doing Kung Fu in the barn that he lives in where he like also is going to someone's throat out later he's got a kung fu barn yeah yeah yeah kung fu where's that
dude's throat out that has that moment of like i don't want to do this fucking crazy i have to
no one wins i gotta put you down like a mad dog i have another body on my back on my account
i'm gonna get another tattoo i don't have time for that i'm a student of the martial arts yeah
and uh they do have certain,
where there's like,
it's called one steps.
We learned how to,
in theory,
rip someone's throat out.
You don't really know how to do it.
Sure.
Yeah.
You give your most carnal ki-eye.
Ki-eye.
And then ki-eye.
Ben Gazzara,
birth name,
Biagio Anthony Gazzara.
Nice.
Biagio.
Biagio.
Biagio. Carrying a little acting, Biagio Anthony Casara. Nice. Biagio. Biagio. Biagio.
Carry on doing your little acting, Biagio.
Biagio, pretend you're the wheel of bed.
Look at me, be thinking you're the wheel of bed.
You're so good, Biagio.
Biagio. Biagio, you come into my cafe,
you pretend like you're liking the ravioli,
but you're not liking the ravioli. It's a gross ravioli.
But you pretend that people buy the ravioli.
That's how we're going to start, man.
People don't know that.
That's great.
Yeah.
Student of acting.
What do you guys want?
Maybe four or five more minutes of that?
Yeah, I can take it.
I can take it.
I can take it.
But anyway, yeah, that's my pick.
Roadhouse.
Roadhouse, hell yeah.
Roadhouse is an excellent pick.
Patrick Swayze putting a sex dick against raw denim.
It's, man, I don't even understand.
I still don't.
That's a psychotic move. You can't just be. There's raw denim. It's, man. I don't even understand. I still don't. That's a psychotic move.
You can't just be.
There's so many.
I don't care if it's Kelly Lynch.
You go wash up, Patrick.
Yeah, dude.
He's just glistening the whole time.
He's always glistening.
And he sleeps in a fucking barn, dog.
Yeah.
You know, he ain't clean.
Nope.
I've got a dirty little pickle.
I figured out I can do the dirty dancing lift with a girlfriend.
Pretty excited.
What time of the day was it that you guys figured that out?
Probably 3 p.m.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's great.
That's responsible.
That's our parking lot.
We're right here in this house.
Really?
Yeah.
Nice, man.
That's just an adorable story.
Yeah.
At 3 a.m.
It was like, man, you guys were drunk.
Oh.
But 3 p.m. it was like man, you guys were drunk. Oh. But 3 p.m., that's just like...
I just needed to change the light bulb. I was like, I have an idea.
Come running at me.
Trust me. You just
stood across the living room. You go, I
am the time of my
life.
Mother of three, right through the ceiling.
Up and then right back in.
Just for a minute.
Hi, Glendale.
David, it's time for your first pick.
So I was going off of Rotten Tomatoes for my scores.
Just for stuff that got maybe what I thought lower than it would.
That seems fair.
That's a good barometer.
Yeah, I think so.
So for...
Map barometer.
Map barometer yeah i think so so for uh mat barometer i'm gonna take michael bay's 1998 hit fuck armageddon that shit is good it's fucking good it is good
it's everything the movie should be the fucking world is ending bruce willis is squinting
michael clark duncan's just being big as hell.
Just being there.
Ben Affleck had just got the new grill.
Yeah.
He's playing on her breasts with animal crackers.
It's adorable.
Fucking Steven Tyler sings that song.
That movie's big as hell, and I love it.
I can close my eyes to hear you breathing.
Steven, bro, what are you doing here?
Steven Tyler.
That movie was so big.
So big.
It's one of the biggest.
Like, you watch that shit.
You can watch that shit at 2 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon.
You do watch that.
Yeah, you do watch it.
Armageddon on TNT taking up four hours of your home over afternoon.
That was the first slow-mo badass team walking like oh yeah
astronauts are there they're walking toward the rocket here we go man and it's like everything
you want it's a ragtag group group of misfits they're all kind of badass he's one of them right
steve uh well that's the only part there's a lot of times where he talks about fucking underage
girls in that movie.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, wait.
Sorry, sorry.
Never mind.
Never mind.
Never mind. Hold on.
Never mind.
Don't even get into it, because we will.
Hollywood painted Bishami into that corner.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's not get into it.
But yeah.
Yeah, we don't want to, because anyway.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, that movie might have introduced me to the term ensemble cast.
That might be the movie where I was like.
Because you were watching Entertainment Tonight.
I was like, why are all these fucking movie stars?
I was used to having one of those people be in their own movie.
Were they all movie stars at that point?
Was Owen Willis in a movie star?
He wasn't a movie star yet.
Who were the movie stars?
Liv Tyler, Bruce Willis.
Ben Affleck, Bruce Willis.
Liv Tyler wasn't a movie star.
No, not Liv Tyler.
Ben Affleck, Bruce Willis.
Who was the other? I guess Will Patton's in there, but he's not. He's an amazing character actor, by the way. Will Patt star. No, not Liv Tyler. So Ben Affleck, Bruce Willis. Who was the other?
I guess Will Patton's in there, but he's not.
He's an amazing character actor, by the way.
Will Patton.
Yeah, oh yeah.
Yeah, he's fantastic.
I don't know who that is off top.
Yeah, but you'll know him when you see him.
I don't want to say other movies because they might get brought up,
but I guess he's in a lot of shitty movies, but he's great, Adam.
It was just, I remember William Roberts in there.
William Roberts? Oh, yeah, Billy Bob's in it. Oh, Billy Bob's great in it. It was just, I remember when I... Yeah, William Roberts in there.
Oh, yeah, Billy Bob's in it.
Oh, Billy Bob's great in it.
Mr. Thornton.
Yeah, that movie's just like... Oh, Bill Fichter's in it.
Yeah, Bill Fichter.
He's the FBI guy that goes up in space with him
and almost fucking caps everyone.
Oh, yeah, he can't handle it.
And Peter Stormare from fucking The Big Lebowski.
Yeah.
Is that it?
Who?
Peter Stormare. he's the bad guy
in literally everything okay all right he's uh he uh i worked with him on his show called he has a
show called swedish dicks that he created oh that guy yeah he plays there in la with his family
because he's always he's always going flying to weird places to shoot movies and was like i had
to like slow it down he's like i got a daughter and. But yeah, you see him. And that dude's a
sweetheart. Yeah, he's the guy that's in the Russian space
station up top where they go link up.
Exactly. He's been up there going crazy for years.
Also, there was Carl Hungus
in the Big Lebowski.
A one Carl Hungus.
Oh, he was in Logjamming.
Yeah, Logjamming. Exactly. Yeah, he was the
psycho in Fargo. Yeah.
Feeding Buscemi into a wood chipper that you're accomplice
here in the chipper uh armageddon is a fucking good ass movie and it is such a good hungover
movie man oh yeah but it's like i think what makes it bad by definition is just that it's
super super cheesy oh it's corny as hell. The whole movie takes place at sundown.
Like, right? Pretty much the entire movie.
Everyone in that movie, and that's a Michael Bay
thing, is shinier than a
Transformer. Oh, yeah. The way they
shoot people. The light is so dramatic.
Everyone's glowing. But it doesn't help that
they start on a fucking oil rig, so it's like
they're sweaty and oily, and
Michael Bay's probably just like, yeah,
get in there. Oilily. They're on a oily. And Michael Bay's probably just like, yeah, yeah, get in there. They're so sweaty.
They're on a body oil rig.
Who told me this old character actor, fuck, what was his name?
He worked on The Rock and Michael Bay's movie.
And Michael Bay evidently tried to tell Sean Connery,
direct him
like acting wise yeah like why don't you work on or something like that and sean just looks at him
and goes why don't you blow up a bridge and just walks away like told him to fuck himself in front
of the hall he was just like whoa you're sean connery why don't you blow up a bridge yeah
you know he they probably just had someone killed just to work off the,
you know,
just to get his alpha back.
Yeah, yeah.
Michael Bay was like,
he was reading about
once a movie he produced
or something
and it was on a teleprompter
and the teleprompter went out
and he just stopped
and he couldn't talk.
Who, Michael Bay?
You see him stand on stage
for like 30 seconds
and then he just leaves.
Wow.
He just doesn't have
anything in him.
That a babe.
Can you imagine if the teleprompter went out and you were just like, mm-mm, mm-mm, and then you just leaves. Wow. He just doesn't have anything in him. That's not a bad... Can you imagine if the teleprompter went out
and you were just like...
And then you just walked off the fucking stage?
Yeah.
And you're fucking Michael Bay, bro.
You're supposed to be able to talk.
He was built to explode.
Yep.
He was built to explode, dude.
When the fuse goes out.
Yeah.
Built to explode.
Built to explode, dude.
My Christian band.
Hell yeah.
First time I get a handjob after I get married. Built to explode. Built to explode. Bill to explode, dude. My Christian band. Hell yeah. First time I get a handjob after I get married,
Bill to explode.
Bill to explode.
That's so good.
Yeah.
One of these days I'll know the love of a woman,
but not until she puts a ring on it.
Yeah, that's smart.
That's Christ's way.
We'd like to know your pick.
Yeah, would you like to know my pick?
My first pick is going to be Con Air.
It's going to be my first pick.
Damn it.
Good one. And this is is so a lot of these movies
when i was picking them i was like i picked it and i was like i love i love that movie but then
you step back and you think what's not for real a good movie it's a movie that is it is a good movie
to everyone who watches it but in the scheme of things it's not it's not a good movie yeah that
movie's pretty bad. It's crazy.
When they fucking crash that,
they're trying their damnedest
to save one guy
and they crash a plane on the strip.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
They would kill less than 500,000 people.
That's a crazy number.
Well, 100,000 people,
I bet you were on the strip.
Am I crazy?
50,000?
500,000 was crazy.
Oh my God.
500,000 is crazy,
but you know,
they killed a bunch of people. A fucking grip. We'll just say a diesel grip trip am i crazy 50 000 500 000 was oh my god 500 that's crazy but you know 50 000 people a fucking
grip we'll just say a diesel grip and you know that doesn't seem also that accent he has in that
movie is almost almost saved the fucking day oh my god what's his name in it cameron poe yeah
his body is bananas in that he's jacked oh my He's jacked. Oh, my God. He's so jacked.
He was hitting the weights in between takes and shit, I guess.
Really?
Really.
He looks like a man.
He had that prison body, man.
He was a pump.
Yeah, he was jacked up.
So what I was shaking my head earlier about Steve Boosh is in that movie, he's like a
straight up pedophile.
He's a child murderer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he didn't kill in that scene.
He didn't kill that girl.
Yeah.
We all thought he did.
And then they fly over and she's still there.
Yeah, because they had the teacup broken.
That girl that was playing in her pool with no water in it
in the middle of the desert with dirt on her face.
Listen, it's hard in the desert, people.
Oh, no, I'm saying.
Cyrus the Virus.
Cyrus.
Yeah.
Just the lines that he has.
Oh, dog.
I can't think of it.
I'm hanging out with dirty naked freaks.
What was Danny Trejo's character's name?
28 or something.
Johnny too many.
Yeah, dude.
Johnny Hella.
Johnny Hella.
And Nicholas Cage.
He's like, I was just admiring your cage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he's a lot into my Val Kilmer.
Who is his friend who died?
The diabetic diabetic yeah baby oh
uh he played himself yeah when that there's a part where he gets the letter saying he's gonna
go home yeah and he reads it and baby oh hugs him and it's the weirdest bit of acting i've ever seen
nicholas cage just yells i'm going home, son!
And it's like the funniest shit.
It's like the weirdest yell.
Dude makes choices.
Yeah, man.
It was the strangest yell.
Speaking of choices,
John Cusack's wardrobe choices
in that movie.
Sandals with a suit?
Oh, man.
Very strange.
He's got like this billowy ass
fucking CSI Miami ass pantsuit. But they tried to play it like he was cool yeah which i
didn't appreciate no he's got birkenstocks right like or tivas or something yeah it was a weird
move bad yeah and that other whatever like the dickhead lieutenant was like shoot the plane
down you're like they're gonna do that yeah that's what they would have done yeah man what are you kidding me dude
they got johnny diesel grip on there they got cyrus the virus yep dave chapelle they probably
wouldn't want to save dave yeah he died early didn't he uh yeah yeah yeah he died earlier yeah
but they also yeah they killed they killed they killed that guy and threw him out of the plane
yep isn't that where it would be done? Yeah, they would have.
There's no way that some rogue FBI agent would be like,
well, hold on.
Cameron Poe's up there.
You know Cameron Poe.
Oh, right.
From that light military duty he did a couple years ago.
We've all heard of Cameron.
The government cares about soldiers.
Stationed out of Baton Rouge.
That Cameron?
Yeah.
He's got to get that goddamn.
Some of the guy's nose bone in his brain back in 96.
Remember that?
Yeah.
Yeah, that guy that looked like Kyle Kinane in the bar.
That dude looks.
I did the Benson interruption at Bridgetown with Con Air.
And the guy was just messing with his girlfriend that he ends up killing.
We're just like, he says something fucked up.
And I was like, Kyle Kinane?
No.
And the place blew up.
He's even got a little stocking cap on. That was like, Kyle Kinane? No. And the place blew up. It looks...
He's even got a little
stocking cap on.
That was when the
projector cut out.
I was there.
The projector cut out.
Stalled for like 45 minutes
and then you could hear
Doug snoring in the microphone.
I didn't know him
a couple times.
You could hear him just
like that.
We're just like,
is he fucking snoring?
It's wild.
The guy likes weed.
The guy is an avid smoker
of marijuana.
The guy likes weed. I will avid smoker The guy likes weed
I will say that
Con Air
That's a good pick
I had it on my list
I took it off
Fuck
God these are three great movies
So far these are
The worst
The best worst movies
You think anyone's ever
Named their kid Con Air
Yes
Like
Con Air
Con Air Jordan
My nephew's name is Conner
That's a name
It is
I'm looking for Con Air though
We knew what he was shooting for
Yeah
Con Air
I'm gonna start calling him that That's Con Air. It is. I'm looking for Con Air, though. We knew what he was shooting for. Yeah. Con Air.
I'm going to start calling him that.
That's.
Con Air.
I'm going to name my kid Jordan Cameron Poe.
Cameron Poe.
I'm going to keep the train rolling.
We're going to get just a theme to our first round.
Yep. I'm going to go ahead and take Bad Boys 2.
Yeah, dude.
Because of course.
Good one.
Good one.
Because of course.
Of course.
That's another one
that was on my list where i'm like this movie is amazing but it's it's bad it's so bad it's bad
why do they ever go to cuba it's come up on the podcast before this movie yeah they call they
call them x-men nobody called ecstasy dealers that. X-Men, no. It was all just drug dealers. There has never been a more insane ready-to-die crew than those Jamaicans.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
What was...
Just insane.
No, they were Haitians, right?
They were Haitians because they had dreadlocks.
Yeah, they were called the Zopown.
Yeah, and they were just with Uzis.
Just Haitians with Israeli military equipment.
So much machine gun fire from those guys.
But then, wasn't Lenny Kravitz one of them, too?
He was?
He was in the movie.
Was he not one of the Haitians?
I don't remember that.
I can check.
Well, you know, Pierre Francois and Pierre Francois
were the two Haitian cats that they had with them.
That's true, isn't it?
What is that from?
You said that about my mom's cats last week.
They were two Haitian cats.
Yeah.
My mom had a grip of cats, but two of them were named.
One of them was Francois.
The other was Pierre Francois.
Nice.
Ian said they were two Haitian cats.
A couple of Haitian cats hanging out.
Two Haitian borders your mom had.
Yeah, dude.
Bad Boys 2 throwing cadavers out the back.
So good.
I don't know if he was in it.
He's on the soundtrack.
One of the credits.
By the way, pretty good soundtrack, Bad Boys 2.
Shake Your Tail Feathers, right?
Shake Your Tail Feathers.
Oh, Shake Your...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, did he do the soundtrack?
Flip Sciences on it?
Yeah, did he do it?
I remember they were really hyping the Bad Boys 2side's on it? Yeah, did he do it? Did he?
I remember they were really hyping the Bad Boys 2 soundtrack.
That Jay-Z song, La La La?
I don't like that song.
You don't like it?
That bleak beats, la la la.
Yeah. Yeah, I never liked that song.
Oh, I like it.
I love it.
Yeah.
I didn't give it a lot of chance, though, either.
Beanie Seagull, The Desert Eagle, The 45.
Yeah, and then Flipside by Freeway's on that.
That song's incredible.
Flipside?
Yeah, good song.
That song's crazy.
Hell yeah, dude.
And then Da Band.
Yeah.
Oh, was that Diddy's fucking...
And then Mash Out Posse's got a song on there.
Was Da Band one of his, like, making Da Band?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was making the band, too.
He just called him Da Band?
Da Band.
Yeah.
It really fizzled out after the show was over.
Yeah.
We've talked about
bad boys to a lot of those podcasts.
We don't want to labor it too much, but I will say
throwing speedboats
at people on a Miami freeway.
That's what's up.
Hiding ecstasy in cadavers.
That's what's up.
Large breasted cadavers.
Large breasted cadavers.
Huge.
Why not?
Why not? We're smuggling D-casted cadavers. Large-breasted cadavers. Huge. Because why not? Yeah. Why not?
We're smuggling D-cups over here.
When that guy shows up to date Martin Lawrence's daughter,
and Will Smith and Martin Lawrence run that game on him.
That dude was a blue-chip athlete.
That was so funny.
You ever made love to a man?
No.
Do you want to?
They're getting all up in his face.
Just with it fucking.
Just seeing.
You know know Will Smith
had so much fun
doing that part.
Oh, got it.
Just with it.
He's got like a bottle
of Kavassia or something.
Oh man,
that character's
what the genie should be like.
Mike Lowry?
Yeah.
There should be no Mike Lowry
but specifically
when he's running
that game
on that dude.
That genie is like,
Carl, can I vest on?
That is maybe the funniest line of the whole movie is so big. Carl, can I vest on it?
That is maybe the funniest line of the whole movie
is the N-word,
you look 30.
Yeah.
He did look 30, though.
He did look older, yeah.
That was an old-ass looking kid.
He was.
He had a big neck.
He was.
Yeah.
He was a blue chip athlete.
He was tall.
Yeah.
He was not a handsome.
It was basically
Jadeveon Clowney.
Yeah, not a handsome kid.
Martin had an above- ground pool in that movie.
That's really funny.
That's really funny.
That he loved.
He loved it so much.
Even though he lived right on the Miami ocean.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, Joey Pants is in that movie.
Yeah, Joe Pantaleone.
He's from USA.
Yeah.
USA.
USA.
Now, if that movie's bad, I don't know what good is.
But apparently, the world thinks it's bad.
I think the thing we're finding it's like bad good
movies are not subtle they're not no there's no subtlety no that's what's they're also fairly
successful yes you know what i mean yeah those are four money makers i think we just drafted
i don't know i don't know i don't want to say too many movies but i'm pretty sure nobody's
gonna draft i was a flop when it came out i think it's a cult hit? Really? It's a cult hit, you know, so it got huge.
Gosh, you think, I don't want to say movies because they might come up, but some of those
80s movies were like, what were you thinking?
You're going to make a movie about a fucking bouncer at like the Double Deuce?
Well, like.
That's the whole movie.
Supposedly the dude, the way the guy, the way the guy sold Miami Vice was he just, he
was having a meeting in a bar, like some Beverly Hills Hilton or something.
He just threw down an eight ball on the couch.
He just walked in and was like, I got an idea.
Even less subtle than that.
He wrote
MTV Cops on a napkin
and slid it across the table.
Damn! That guy's cool though.
MTV Cops.
That's cool.
That's really cool.
I feel like it's not happening yeah i don't love to know
i feel like it's it's not happening as much as it used to but like in the 80s the amount of movies
that got greenlit over like a pretty decent size pile of blow and maybe they sat down with no idea
and by the end of the night they're like 80s thank god they don't do coke in hollywood anymore
that's gone they did it all it's like you canaaludes. You can't find them anymore. Can't find them. If you got some.
If you know anywhere in LA to get some cookies.
We want to know. Oh, I meant Quaaludes.
Quaaludes. Got some lewds, bro?
Quaaludes, Offset.
Take off all of them.
Okay, time for my second pick, as it is.
Serpentine Draft.
Okay.
Alright, alright.
I'm taking Varsity Blues. Oh, shit! Dang, dude. i don't think i've ever seen that movie oh
you haven't seen it you've never seen varsity blues i got
hyped in high school i went on a first date to that movie one of those first
dates where you where you crew up those like me and tammy and like
okay six of my friends wait you Tammy and six other dudes
me and Tammy
and like six other dudes
cause we all wanted
to see Varsity Blues
hoes gonna be hoes
so I couldn't blame Tammy
Lil Wayne told us
we
they had that
sorry for saying hoes
I didn't mean
I was just quoting a rapper
yeah you're just quoting a song
they had that
Foo Fighters song
My Hero was in one
of the trailers
oh yeah
he was just doing pushups
and I'm like
this movie's
one of your hype songs
right
yes
I love that song.
I fucking love that song.
Fucking Vanderbeek's in it.
Vanderbeek.
Who's the kid who played Tweeter?
Jimmy Conn.
Scotty Conn.
Yeah, Jimmy Conn's boy.
Yeah, I liked him.
Johnny Boyd's in there.
All four foot two of Scott Conn's in that movie.
Yeah, John Boyd.
Allie Larder's up in there.
Allie Larder's in it with a whipped cream bikini.
Paul Wizzle's up in there.
Yeah.
Amy Smizzle's up in there. Yeah. Paul Walker and Amy Smart,izzles up in there yeah amy smizzles up in there
paul walker and amy smart yeah yeah no we know the heads though um it was just it came out when
i was playing like either high school or middle school football it was it was one of the only
cool football if you're that like if you're around our it was that and friday night lights
it was perfect that movie is very you go back and watch it and you're like,
definitely rated R.
Oh, yeah.
I was like, there's nothing bad in this movie.
You see big nipples in it.
The teacher has big nipples.
And she's a stripper.
Yeah.
What world are we living in where the kids don't mention that to anyone?
That's weird.
The teacher's a stripper.
And also, they got in because they're the varsity team, though, of course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it's a whole different setup there, man. But then they don't let the cat out of the bag that the teacher's a stripper and also they got oh they got in because they're the varsity team though of course yeah i think it's a whole different yeah they can get up there man but then they know they
don't let the cat out of the bag that teachers and also as far as football movies go it dealt
with like you know because like drug use and everything drug use they're giving the guy the
needle and shit never seen a movie where that black quarterback taught where the running back
is like i don't get my yards my mom's recruiting for me. She got Grambling coming to watch me.
You know, my whole life I thought she was saying Grandma,
and I was like, why does
you give a fuck if your grandma's coming to see you?
Grandma University is always in the Pac-10.
I didn't know what
Grambling was until I think it was
Grandma UCLA in the Rose Bowl this year.
That's when you moved down to LA.
You joined the Gramblings, right?
Yeah, the Gramblings.
It's the Rambling Ramblins.
Lord, I was born a Grambling Man.
Hey, the Grambler.
You're smashing a step team
to a say in that.
Lord, I was born a Grambling Man.
Spin the cane.
Bounce it off the ground. I was born a grambling man. Spin the cane. Bounce it off the ground.
I was born a grambling man.
Oh, man.
Oh, I was born a grambling man.
Fire City Blues.
Yeah.
Good pick.
It was just fucking, it was just awesome.
It was just a good football movie.
Yeah.
I don't want your life.
What I do want, Sean, is your second pick.
My second pick. Because now we're getting in. I don't want your life. What I do want, Sean, is your second pick. My second pick, because now we're getting in.
I don't know that you guys are going to pick my other movies.
So I'm going to pick Over the Top.
Oh!
The arm wrestling movie!
I thought of my god.
I thought of my god.
Someone who also has dad issues like you.
I loved that movie.
I love the soundtrack.
It had Kenny Loggins meet me halfway across the sky
Great tune
But you step back again
Today
Loggins was all over
Loggins was a soundtrack
The Sammy Hagar theme song
Was that Sammy Hagar?
Winner takes it all
Loser takes a fall
Yeah dude
Gotta take it over the top
The world at
Okay as my dad had just a shred of custody of me when I was a child.
The world where he...
I'm sorry to laugh.
No, no.
It's supposed to.
That's a great term.
Oh, that's beautiful.
The world where...
Just a whisper of custody.
That's fucking awesome.
The world where the judge looks and is like,
yes, the truck driving arm wrestler gets the fucking kid.
Take the kid on the road.
You've been out of his life since he was what?
Six months old? Yeah. Take him on the road. You've been out of his life since he was what? Six months old?
Take him on the road with you, Lincoln Hawk.
And then to get his kid back, he fucking drives his
fucking semi through the living room of his
by the way, his very, very rich
grandfather's house, who hasn't done anything
that bad in this movie.
I haven't seen Over the Top. This shit happens?
Oh, you've never seen it? It's a beautiful story
about 80s bananas. Sean's hat is backwards, though. I do it? No. It's a beautiful story about- It's pure 80s banana.
Sean's hat is backwards, though.
I do know that's part of it.
Just like Stallone.
I do know that's part of it.
I love the switch.
When he turns it on.
Yep.
So here you go.
I think the mom dies.
Wait, is this Bull Herder?
Bull Hurley.
So the villain in the movie is Bull Hurley, this giant bald dude.
And I think the mom dies.
So Lincoln Hawk, who is sylvester stallone wants custody
her so his wife's dad is hella rich lives in a mansion isn't really that bad of a dude he should
have custody he's rich you should just he's the one that can provide for the kid like fuck that
i want my kid so somehow they he gets i think he steals the kid and he takes him on the road
yeah he shows up to his graduation yeah Yeah. Amber alert for a semi truck.
So they just go on the road as truckers.
His dad's like, Sylvester Stallone's like an arm wrestling tournament guy.
So that's like the whole theme of the movie is this arm wrestling tournament.
He's like, he wants to win this big truck so he can be like an independent trucker.
Kid ends up leaving.
Grandfather has custody of him.
Sylvester Stallone drives his semi through the living room, tries to get his kid back,
and then ultimately wins this arm wrestling tournament room, tries to get his kid back, and then ultimately
wins this arm wrestling
tournament at the end,
gets his kid back.
It's insane.
And when he turns
his hat backwards,
that's like when he
turns himself,
he gets his power back.
He's just sitting there,
he's like,
you know,
I could just sit
and talk to you like this,
and then I turn my hat
backwards,
and it's like,
you're my worst enemy.
And over the top
is an arm wrestling,
so you got the grip.
Over the top is where
you go over the,
you take your fingers and go over the top like this.
And then kaboom goes the dynamite.
Yep.
And Stallone...
I'm not wearing any clothes.
...go incredibly fit is a small man.
Small, tiny guy.
Arm wrestling champions.
Bull Hurley was huge.
Bull Hurley's...
He has balls.
He has a huge mustache.
I thought that he's
also horrifying.
Doesn't come up a lot.
Big shiny head.
That's another thing.
Great bad movies,
they're shiny.
Shiny head.
Yeah, they're shiny.
They're shiny.
You need the shiny head.
Oh, nobody said
Robert Loja was in this.
Robert Loja's the grandparent.
Robert Loja.
He's the grandfather.
It's also,
I guess you want your kid
back from Robert Loja.
I guess he wanted
back from Robert Loja.
Yeah. He, I didn't know who, yeah, I mean, I couldn't name you want your kid back from robert lozier i like i guess he went back from robert lozier yeah
he i didn't know who yeah i mean i couldn't name you anything else robert lozier's ever done
except for be period and family guy robert and over the top he also defeats uh arm wrestling
champion john brzenk it's just a quick is that a real arm wrestling yeah that's a dude okay watch
the documentary pulling john it's very very great. It's that guy.
Yeah.
Pulling John,
John Brzezinski.
Yeah.
The greatest arm wrestler.
Yeah. Not even a big dude.
Really?
Just like,
it looks like a normal dad.
Yeah.
He's got the gun.
He's got the,
he could just,
he has some crazy like tendons.
He has more tendons than anyone in his white people.
White people have more tendons in their arm.
That's why.
Hey,
David, that's how. Hey, David.
That's why I said that.
That's why you guys are so good at jerking off.
What happened to all fantasy everything?
Oh, David made some remarks.
We got Jimmy the Greek.
I hope someone gets offended by that.
I really hope they do.
Man, that was perfect.
Yeah.
No, listen.
I'm just happy to be the Jimmy the Greek of Fantasy Everything.
Everybody knows that.
My racism is a strategy against white people.
I don't want to dive into my dad too much, but yeah.
Yeah.
That was funny.
That was perfect.
That was a perfect joke.
Yeah.
They got those extra tendons in their arms.
I always think of Over the Top as a pairing with Roadhouse.
Yeah, I think that's an afternoon.
That's the thing.
One's about a fucking door guy or a bouncer.
Odds are against him.
The other's about a truck-driving arm wrestler.
The 80s, you could do that.
God, Stallone was just doing that German steroids back then.
Oh, yeah.
Super shiny.
Nothing legal about him.
Hairless, big, big, hairless, shiny men. That's yeah. Super shiny. Nothing legal about him. Hairless, big,
big, hairless, shiny men.
That's what it was about.
He couldn't even pay people
to fly those over for him.
He had to fly over and get them.
Oh, yeah.
And put them up
in his own prison pocket
and fly them back.
Yeah, man, over the top.
I'm glad that worked.
I was wondering about it.
Who's next?
David.
It's my turn.
It's David, I'm sorry.
Number two.
So it's my second pick, right?
Yeah. My second pick. Oh, man, I'm sorry. Number two. So it's my second pick, right?
My second pick.
Oh, man.
I'm going to go with the hit.
I didn't know people didn't like this movie.
I'm going with House Party 2.
Wow.
Good call. The one where they were in college with that epic dance scene.
I love it.
Ain't gonna hurt nobody.
And they do that thing where they click heels and then they spin around all the way.
The kid in play dance.
The kid in play dance.
Yeah, man. Tishabell is incredible yeah fucking full forces in that movie martin lawrence is in
that movie that's not the one with tlc and immature that's the third one third one that's
the third one second is when they they're in college yeah and kids like his like his dad
his scholarship payment doesn't go through or some shit like that yep and then they they throw a jammy jam to make the money i love those movies oh god and it's like and it's like because like i
saw online people's one of their correct criticisms was like it's super preachy because it is very
much like like one guy gets drunk at the college party and kid and player like man that's not cool
you booze you lose we're off the sauce really yeah it's like it is like a super preachy movie
but they try to get that man life is bad make a preachy movie yeah anything that promotes black
morals i'm for it the point is yeah man house party 2 i love that movie that's a movie fucking
rules i love all the house party movies yeah i was young so i was like yeah this is i don't think
i've seen house party 2 oh man we got there is a guy named bow-legged lou in it he's in full he's in full force he's the smaller guy in full
force he's a guy he's a guy in full force that doesn't work out yeah he smells like pussy yeah
oh there's peewee in the movie so he's in both of them uh-huh we're gonna beat his funky ass
because i used to watch it on bt yeah and they would edit it. Yeah. Funky ass.
They sent that over and over again.
Damn.
Yeah, man.
Those guys tried to burn down a house.
It's just like a, I don't know.
I like that movie.
That's great.
I loved it since I was a kid.
Fuck you, internet.
House Party 2.
House Party 2.
House Party 2.
So you need those movies where you're not going to booze.
You know what I mean?
I'm saying.
Dude, it felt so good to go to portland and not
you know oh yeah keep it clean there's a time and place of course i'm never a long long time before
i'm like you know i'm not really drinking anymore yeah it feels great to not have it be something
where you feel like you're required to do yeah and that was a fun last week i know it's changing
but it's that thing where it's like you can have fun without getting hammered yeah that's what you also have a lot of fun
they have a whole song called ain't my type of hype baby where they're talking about that i mean
it's my type of hype but it's also fun to feel good sometimes you know it's fun to try different
types of hype oh yeah waking up at that waking up at 10 feeling okay hype dude hopped up yeah
surprise laura with some chai you know gentleman over know, gentleman over here. Good chai guy.
I got two extra bucks.
I don't want a chai guy.
Chai guy.
The kind of guy that gets me my chai.
Oh, Lord, that mercy, mercy, mercy.
Which was a song in the original Batman.
Follow me, follow me, follow me.
Matt Bronger
it's time for your
second and third pick
since it is a Serpentine draft
okay well
alright second
I'm gonna go
and there
I know people are gonna
freak out in this
because it is
it's a fantastic comedy
Titanic's a good movie
Top Secret
because
was that a
I don't know Top Secret
is that a Leslie Nielsen movie
no
it's with Val Kilmer
as an Elvis Presley type who goes into East Germany.
Whoa.
And during.
Oh, yeah.
It's a serious movie.
It's not a comedy.
They're going to let him be the first performer to play in East Germany.
And it's by the same guys that did Airplane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, young Val.
Young Val.
And it broke my heart when he was on Oprah and they showed a clip of it and he was like,
ugh.
And then they cut to the doors and he's like, that one I'm proud of.
I'm like, fuck you, man.
Yeah, the doors suck.
Top Secret, I've seen high more than any other movie, I think.
Because that was like in college, I'd just be like, I'll throw Top Secret on.
Because it just, the jokes are so stupid, but they make me laugh.
Like, stoned or not, but it is like, I remember when I was a kid, a guy who we knew that would
see everything and was kind of like, saw himself as kind of a film critic.
Yeah.
And I hated it.
He's like that.
It was awful.
It was nowhere near as funny as Airplane.
And it's like, it definitely does dumb jokes you
know yeah i'm sorry i don't speak german i know a little german he's standing over there there's
like a little man and he waves you know yeah just dumb shit like that get me right now but it's rad
there's music numbers uh there's it's uh uh amazing like it's it's like It's like the level of humor with the Naked Gun movies.
The phone rings.
Hello?
Yes?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Let me know if his condition changes.
Hangs up.
He's dead.
I'm just reading the summary.
That movie's wild.
It's nuts.
You should watch it.
Yeah, I gotta watch it now for sure.
At one point, they're still on a train, and then they're just talking and then the scenery starts moving like the train's moving
and they pan out the train's not moving a tree is flying back it's going on its own down the street
zooming along and a guy runs up and grabs the tree and just rides the tree somewhere that's
watching and going i was stoned i was fuck, you imagine if trees did that?
Like, you could just jump on a tree and hold on to it until it dropped you off in, like,
downtown LA and you let go and you jump off the tree.
I was like, man, if only.
I love that shit.
Those airplane movies, those Zucker movies were fucking amazing.
Dude.
Yeah.
I don't add us on Twitter and be like, they're Republicans.
I know they're Republicans.
Who cares now?
I don't care.
Yeah.
Those movies are still good.
Airplane is so goddamn funny.
Oh my God, it's a fucking perfect movie.
Yeah, and even like Naked Gun, the series,
Naked Gun, the series had like a line
that is maybe the funniest Drebin line
and no one knows it,
where like he comes in this like mob boss's office,
beautiful desk or whatever,
and the mob boss goes,
who are you?
How'd you get in here? And Frank Drebin goes, goes i'm the locksmith and i'm the locksmith it's not it's so funny
that's what i'm looking for the god leslie but it's like it's one of those movies you're like
yeah it's not you know yeah great like as a movie movie but But it's fucking, sit down and watch it.
I just want to have fun for an hour. Exactly.
It's not Deer Hunter. What are you doing? They don't all have to be.
Exactly. You know what movie I've seen once?
Deer Hunter. Seriously.
And I made myself watch it.
I was like, I have to have seen Deer Hunter.
Honey, what do you want to watch tonight?
We finally have a night off together. It's a real rough one.
Honey, do you want to watch Christopher Walken play Russian Roulette
With a bunch of screaming Vietnamese guys
Do you want to watch Christopher Walken do what I do when you go to bed most nights
And watch Dear Honey
Top secret second pick
Third pick
Oh my god I am going to go with
I'm going to do this one because it will be controversial
Love Actually
Did you say Jew That movie has got some I'm going to do this one because it'll be controversial. Love Actually. You.
Did you say Jew?
That movie has got some misogyny in it. He's trying to change the subject.
That movie's got some misogyny in it.
You're right.
It's real fucking corny and a lot of the shit does not make any sense.
Of course.
I will declare that is not a good movie, but I love it.
I can't do it.
I've rented it twice.
I rented it.
I bet I watched it. Me and Kyle, we live together live together on love actually it was like the hangover movie it was like oh this is good
that is hilarious i like to just stew in this good rom-com right there is something nice about
those like little where like there's eight different stories going on yeah well there's
you know honestly i don't think i i can watch it again because it's just like now i'm like oh fuck
laura lenny took her shirt off
for no reason.
But that didn't help anything.
What's the point of this?
No, I know.
Shit like that.
Yeah.
You know, but...
There's that one storyline
with Emma Thompson
that is gut-wrenching.
Her and Alan Rickman.
Because that's like,
that's a real life-ass storyline.
And a lot of people,
they hate that.
Her and who?
Alan Rickman.
Alan Rickman.
Mr. Takagi. Mr. Takagi. Rickman. Mr. Tuk-Ka-Gay.
Mr. Tuk-Ka-Gay.
All right.
Sorry.
I was watching Harry Potter, and every time he said Mr. Potter, I just kept thinking
Mr. Tuk-Ka-Gay.
But that, like, Laura gets upset about that.
And I'm like, that's, unfortunately, that shit happens.
Like, that's probably the most realistic storyline in the whole movie yeah and i love that the the rocker guy and his manager yeah it's like
you're the love of my life you're my best friend but that's but the other storylines you're right
like the one where his best friend is in love with his best friend's wife you're like fuck off bro
that's unfortunately you don't get to me you keep that to yourself yeah and there's that other line
where they keep calling that girl overweight and you're like fuck off no first of all it shouldn't matter that's not the
issue the issue is that they keep saying it and you're like that's ridiculous yes and then that
one dude goes to wisconsin january jones what's up shout out south korea that's that's where the
that's where the misogyny kicks in hard yeah where it's just like four women oh my god we don't have
fuck we only have one bed and we're gonna we need to sleep naked and we're all fucking yeah that storyline i haven't seen love
actually it's dean ice richards january jones shout out it's his uh rupert this dude is this
dude's like a sucker for love and like no girls like him and he just guys i'm just gonna fly to
wisconsin he goes and he gets into a bar and they like love his accent so much he gets like a
foursome oh with the hottest girls
in all of cinema at the time.
It's absurd.
It's ridiculous.
Absurd.
But, you know,
it's a bad movie.
Another William Robert Thornton.
He's the president
of the United States
in that movie.
Yeah, he's a creep.
He's a total creep.
A real creep.
He's like the worst parts
of Bill Clinton
and then all the parts
of George W. Bush.
Yeah.
Or George, yeah, W.
But he falls in love?
No, no, no.
He's like,
he's like creeping on this,
the prime minister's like secretary.
Yeah.
And then the prime minister
who's Hugh Grant.
And because he's standing up for her,
he stands up for the country
and doesn't go along
with his demands.
Pardon me.
I would just be ever so grateful.
Hi, bruv. Get off me bed. She's my secretary. That's a perfect Hugh Grant. Pardon me. I would just be ever so grateful.
Hey, bruv.
Get off me bed.
She's my secretary.
That's a perfect Hugh Grant.
Hey, bruv.
I went to university to become prime minister.
Get off my secretary bed.
Slag off.
Slag off.
Mate.
Hey, bruv.
What go on?
Take your trainers.
Take your trainers and slag off, mate. Go to the pub. Get a pint. Cool off. Well your trinies. Take your trinies and slag off, mate.
Go to the pub.
Get a pint.
Cool off.
Love Actually, dude.
Glove Actually.
Gary Payton, one of the greatest lovers.
Yeah.
David, tell me your third pick.
My third pick got a 28 on Rotten Tomatoes.
Yikes.
Have no idea why.
Hook.
Hook.
I fucking love that movie. My dad looked just likein hoffman and hook like a pirate captain that's what he looked like except for the i mean you might as well say your
dad looked like captain hook man yeah that doesn't look like he channeled it yeah that movie's so fun
yeah it is online they said that it was too sentimental. Like they said he went the easy way. That seems to be what...
I love how sentimental that movie is.
Oh my god. So many parts of that.
You're doing it, Peter.
You're doing it, Peter.
Remember how good that made you fucking feel?
That fat kid laughing about marbles.
Your marbles, Peter.
He lost it.
He lost it good.
Let's not forget that some of the Lost Boys were doing the running man.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
They were doing the running man.
And they could skateboard.
And Rufio was clearly having sex.
Rufio was.
Rufio was a stud, man.
Rollerblading.
I was scared of Rufio.
That's a real bad boy.
Rufio was.
He was killing.
Except.
Like, those were boys killing men.
Listen, our colleague, captain of the ship,
did bring up that Rufio was a rollerblader.
So let's not go and give him.
Oh, you're going to throw hands?
You're trying to see him out here?
Give him all the credit.
Also, it wasn't a rollerblade.
It was a wind skateboard.
Blade.
Eight wheels of thunder.
Eight wheels of thunder.
Eight wheels of thunder.
Like, it wasn't roller but yeah he was
on like a skateboard with like a wind wind thing on it yeah yeah he also rollerbladed he roadwayed
in that movie yeah he rollerbladed like most of the time when he was on the ship rufio i'm pretty
sure dante bosco i didn't i couldn't have told you i couldn't have told you with a million i
actually think it might be yo i, I think I might have pulled
that out. Let me double check, but I think
that might be his name. Phil Collins is in that
movie for a second, and so is
I forget who else was in the movie.
Yeah, they play pirates for a second.
Julia Roberts is the... Oh, Julia Roberts
is Tank? Dante Bosco.
Dante Bosco. You could have put
those letters in front of me as an anagram,
and I never would have been able to get that name
Dante Bosco
It's a great name
Donnie Bosco
Hook is an amazing one
I loved it
It was like one of my favorite Disney movies
It's a great Christmas movie still
It's so fun
Bob Williams
Professor McGonagall
I don't know what her real name is.
I know who you're talking about.
Yeah.
She plays the original Wendy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that movie, man.
That was great.
No, I'm a hundred percent with you.
I absolutely.
I'll hear no hook slander.
No hook slander.
It's wild.
I wish I could go back and talk to the critics who gave it a bad score and be like, uh, pardon
me.
You know, like it was, it was,
I don't know.
Did they just expect Julia Roberts or Robert Williams to do a bigger movie?
So they were mad at the movie that they did do.
Maybe I can never tell.
Yeah. I just don't think,
I don't think they thought the parts came together.
And I remember like seeing it and kind of feeling that,
but at the same time,
I was just like,
I'm not mad at this.
It's fun.
You had,
you know,
I like to think that if I was an adult,
I just saw that and be like,
this is pretty fun. You know? Yeah. yeah i mean that might not be the case and you know what no one got me about it
was that robin williams like i just couldn't picture him as peter pan for some reason yeah
he killed it don't get me wrong what about when the kid moved all his fat face backwards
that's funny there you are p. And you're like, that is
no way what that came out like.
There you are, Peter.
I also love that they put him in tights and you knew
they couldn't shoot him close because the amount
of leg hair he had would have showed up.
So much hair.
You know what was poking through?
You can't wear tights with that much leg hair.
You gotta shave.
You gotta shave your leg.
He was also wearing the same big billowy tan suit
that Cusack was wearing
in Con Air.
Yeah.
Hook, great pick.
Sean, time for your third pick.
My third pick is going to be
The Program.
Oh, fuck yeah.
That movie.
Fuck.
Do you know that movie, Matt?
I do.
Yeah?
So, The Program.
You know The Program, David.
Place at the table.
Oh, I know The Program.
That movie,
because I was going to pick it
right after Varsity Blues,
but I didn't want to go back to back football movies but that movie used to get me because there's
varsity blues has like some jokes in it the program it has no jokes no jokes it's a dead
serious football movie and when i was a kid i was like tight man so the i mean the offensive
lineman has jokes you know i was gonna say so we're running up doggies the middle linebacker
gets to talk shit to the quarterback,
and then it's cool.
Like, everyone's cool with it.
And he gets to be like, you're the one that fucked my sister, aren't you?
I don't even know your sister, man.
I love that he talks back. I know.
And then one of the dudes, he starts going, Mayday, Mayday.
He does like an audible.
I know you.
You're that guy who fucked my sister.
I don't even know your sister, man.
Man.
Stop playing. I don't even know your sister. You're that guy that got my my sister i don't even know your sister man man stop playing i don't even know that guy that got my baby sister pregnant i'm gonna bust your gut open and watch you die and then he
man you know i don't know your sister yeah dude and latimer just places the table and then he's
in the he's in the parking lot and he headbutts like three windows yeah well he breaks three
headbutts one of them for sure.
And they still, they're like, ah, let's let him in there.
Let's let him bust some heads, you know?
Well, yeah.
You know, he's a defensive lineman.
He's not your quarterback.
They do that whole like trading urine thing where he's like,
that scummy dude's like, think about it like getting an oil change, man.
Just like you put a catheter in this dude.
You let this biker looking motherfucker put a catheter in you.
It's crazy. Oh, Christ. Also, a put a catheter in you. It's crazy.
Oh, Christ.
Also, young Halle Berry.
Young Halle Berry.
Omar.
Omar Epps.
Yep.
Jimmy Conn. I missed.
There's another big name in there.
Oh, Christy Swanson.
Yeah.
Not a huge name, but you know.
Big enough.
That's a big name, though.
Big enough.
Yeah, man.
That movie used to just get me.
Guns N' Roses, their first practice session. Welcome to the jungle. God, it's so good. What's that game used to just get me guns and roses their first practice session
welcome to the jungle god it's so good what's that game called where there's one in the middle
uh bull in the ring yeah bull in the ring yeah and i'm just like fuck why don't we get to play
this that movie got me hyped that was like that came out like when my older brother was playing
football and he showed it to me and i remember being like oh yeah it's a headbuster for sure
used to watch that in the old off season yeah but if you watch it now it's a head buster for sure used to watch that in the old off season but if you watch it now it's just
wretched
so many voice overs
there is no off season but keep going
that's it the program man
it will always hold a place at the table for me
yeah
nice
you should host the next couple of these
alright
that's the only one of those I've ever gotten
I love that.
I like it.
You should do it more.
It feels good, right?
Yeah, it does feel good.
So that's number three.
It's time for my third pick.
Yeah, what do you got?
You guys may disagree with me.
We watched it together, so I think you're on the same page as me.
I'm sure I am.
I find this to be a bad movie that I earnestly enjoy.
I'm taking new
jack city oh yeah dude i want to shoot you so bad my dick's hard i love i love new jack i've gone
back and forth on it right i've really thought about this and you're right it is a bad oh it's
so bad it's a bad movie there's a guy that stands up in a drive-by that doesn't get shot and he acts
like you get shot there's no Snipes rocking the biggest pirate hoop
I've ever seen.
It's crazy.
I was in high school when that came out
and that was
all the hip-hop
everything
that I was into.
The look.
The rope chains.
The fucking silk suits.
They were dressing like Colby Babb.
Yeah.
Very much like a Big Daddy Kane kind of epic.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
That's the vibe.
But also the dirtiest, darkest New York.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You can imagine, dude.
It is wild.
It's so fucked up.
They look like clowns.
And you're like, but they're fucking doing some hard shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Cash Money Boys were going for it.
But they just look like.
Yeah.
Like, if I saw them, I'd be like, well, I'm not scared. Maybe I'm scared of Wesley were going for it. But they just look like... Yeah. If I saw them,
I'd be like,
well, I'm not scared.
Maybe I'm scared of Wesley
because he looks tough.
Nino Brown's horrifying.
Yeah, what?
Nino Brown's horrifying.
But just looking at him, though.
I don't believe
that you weren't scared
of the guys at New Jersey.
I'm scared of everyone.
You're afraid of the neighbors.
I'm scared of everyone.
Yeah, yeah.
You're the dead of it.
You're the dead of it.
That's Radio Raheem, dog.
No.
I guess what I'm trying to say
is they don't look intimidating
except for Wesley Snipes.
Just because Wesley Snipes look intimidating.
Because they dress the same how En Vogue dressed.
So I understand that.
That's what I'm getting at.
They look goofy.
Huge shoulders on the leather jacket.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're cutting beautiful silhouettes.
Yeah.
All these guys.
But yes, if they had me up against the wall in an alley,
I'm like, yeah, I'm not telling them to fuck off or anything.
If they were across the street returning Girl Scout cookies to someone who left them, you'd be scared.
I think what Shaw means is they look like they're wearing suits they bought at J. Riggins, which they were.
Or merry-go-round in the nicer area of merry-go-round.
The night wear, you know, going out on the town.
But then if you met them, you'd realize those guys will kill you immediately yeah they're
all psychopaths like everyone that whole crew just all they do is murder am i my brother's keeper
yeah yeah yeah it's just not good pick it's called new jack city you why you could have just said
wait they were in new york yeah or new jersey i assume it's just it's i remember watching and just being like oh
because like i hadn't seen it in forever and i was like you know what's a good movie sneakily
new jackson yeah i remember watching him being like this is not a good movie but i love this
movie yeah chris rock that might be some of the best chris acting Chris Rock movies. It's great. Ice-T is such a badass.
Yeah. And What's
His Fuck is so bad. Oh, he's
the other cop? The white guy, the partner, the other cop?
Yeah. God, he sucks. It's not a black or a white
thing. It's a death thing. Yeah.
Who is it? He's wearing those circled
90s glasses. It's Judd.
Oh, it is. Is it Judd Nelson?
Yeah, it's the kid from... Nick Peretti. Yeah.
Oh, he's psycho too, right?
Yeah.
He's always like getting in people's...
When that old man kills Nino Brown and he falls off,
and Ice-T just puts his sunglasses on, like, you know, turning.
Yeah.
And John Nelson's like grinning, like, yeah, ha-ha.
Yeah, he liked it.
Like he walked off in a man's death.
It's also that part where they're walking through the party,
the first time you see Ice-T, and he's wearing that Kangol with the locs on and two girls.
Yeah.
Man, that's like the coolest looking dude.
Just that three seconds right there.
Yeah.
That's like the coolest looking dude.
It's a cool movie.
Before he even takes over the Carlisle, he walks into a hip hop club and a man just hands
him a bottle of Red Star Moette with a straw in it champagne
straw we should all be so lucky oh man champagne straw they were really doing it they had that
jeep yep yep that jeep was hard as hell oh yeah that jeep was hard as hell and spike lee chasing
down pookie originally that that scene is like spike lee's like, or not Spike Lee. Not Spike Lee.
Ice-T's like jumping over fences.
Yeah, God, that scene is cool.
Because a lot of people forget my man Ice-T, a gymnast.
Was he a gymnast?
He was a gymnast in high school, yeah.
Also, a fucking, was it Green Beret, I think?
At Crenshaw High School, too, by the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think he was a Green Beret.
Some elite military.
He'll throw a lot of curveballs at you, that Ice-T.
He's an orange room. Yeah, he threw them all. Final level. lot of curveballs at you, that Ice-T. He's an orange room.
Yeah, he threw them all. Final level.
I can harp on how great I think Ice-T is.
We might have to do an Ice-T bonus episode.
We're going to draft Ice-T.
Dude, he's one of the most interesting guys.
He used to be Rob Choolery's...
Anyways.
Yeah.
Yeah, New Jack City's a great movie.
New Jack City.
That's a good pick.
I'm going now with my fourth pick.
God, I'm really...
There's a movie I'm really tempted to take.
Do you think I'm going to take it?
No,
I don't.
I just don't know
if it's a bad movie
and I don't want to take it.
Maybe I'll save it
for the fifth round.
I got one on here
that might cause some controversy
in the fifth round.
In the,
but in the fourth round,
I will take the motion picture.
Fuck,
you don't want me to take it?
I don't care.
I'm taking Draft Day with Kevin Costner.
I haven't seen it.
I like that movie.
Yeah, I did too.
I watched it on a plane.
I was like, whoa.
It's a great plane movie.
It is.
It is.
What's the plot?
Kevin Costner is the GM of the Cleveland Browns.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
A story that needed to be told.
It's like shitty Moneyball.
It's like the shittiest version of Moneyball.
I already get it.
I already understand.
It's fucking God.
I like that kind of movie.
I literally watch it to be like, the challenge is how do you make owners and coaches of football
teams, how do you make me give a fuck about how you choose players?
Those are literally like the bad
guys yes oh that's owners are oh the nfl owners notoriously are the worst
never more so than now oh my god we were at we were at uh the nfl honors i had to go to the
super bowl for work this year we went to the uh nfl credentials went to the nfl
where are your credentials at all times these fucking people for i learned two one i learned
a term from british people about like people who have like shitty jobs where they have some modicum
of power yes so they use it to scream at you oh right they call them jobsworths
jobsworths uh and then uh so these. Jobsworths. That's great.
And then,
so these guys were fucking screaming at me,
but we were on the NFL
honors red carpet
and I was with James's parents
and they were,
James Gordon's parents
and they were interviewing people
on the NFL honors red carpet
and James's dad is bald
so we were trying to get
football players
to kiss his head for luck,
which is the wrong group
of athletes to do that with,
by the way.
Sure.
A lot of,
a lot of homophobia. A lot of what you think. Just sort of coded in to, by the way. Sure. A lot of homophobia.
Just sort of coded into some of these guys.
Sure.
Including Jerry
Jones, who came by and we were like,
What did you think was going to happen?
Have you told Shane?
I haven't told him. I'm going to tell him.
Shane's hero is Jerry Jones?
Shane sucks, man.
Shane really sucks.
So you sure brought Shane to try to kiss Jerry Jones in the mouth. james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james
james james james james james james james james james
james james james james james james james james james
james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james james't gonna get in trouble yeah so he didn't but then he grabbed james's mother and he was like but i'll kiss her though
and like what yeah motorboat and james corden's well not a teddy but like okay i think that
sounded i'm sorry you know what face motorboat is almost worse yeah that's way weirder yeah
because then it's like what he just kissed her a bunch of times? Yeah, and he was very charismatic about it.
She was like giggling and loved it.
But I was just like, whoa, he does that a lot.
Yeah.
I'm sure he didn't say like, may I please?
Is it all right if I kiss you?
No, he was full.
He was like two scoops of Arkansas ass.
Yep.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Draft day, though, dude.
The less you know about football, the better it is.
Yes.
It's a guess.
I know nothing. It's a great point but it was still yeah fucking how are they gonna make you give a fuck and they do and they came pretty close they do kevin costner could do it if anybody
i know i love kevin costner in a sports movie i just some sucker for it it's it is more than any
of these other movies we named this one is bad this one is worse than any other movie
on this list it makes you feel good yes the ending of that movie is is very satisfying
you won't believe this even in stormy weather kevin costner lands and i was thinking about that
today i kind of fucking love kevin costner i don't do because he's like he's like america's
awkward guy there's no carrie's awkward he's like but he's like an outsider like we all want yeah
like ray canella we all want to be like yeah yeah you watch like you watch silver awkward he's like but he's like an outsider like we all want to be yeah like Ray Cannella
we all want to be like
yeah
yeah
you watch
like you watch Silverado
he's like this
he's like the kid
he's like a fucking
jumpy ass young cowboy
who's quick to shoot people
and shit
but he's like a sweetheart
you watch that
he's like
ah he's a jumpy little kid
in that one
so long ago
and like now
and that
he's like a football coach
yeah
but he'll get
he's a weird movie star
because he'll get punked in his own movies like Field of Dreams he's like a football coach yeah he's a weird movie star because he
got punked in his own movies like field of dreams he's getting punked left and right
yeah yeah kevin costa rules man dance with the wolves filmed in south dakota no neither here
nor there but okay cool dance with the wolves sean time for your fourth pick uh my fourth pick
is going to be so marky mark had to make it in. Wow.
And he's in two movies that I want to pick.
Wow.
I'm not quite sure.
Mark Wahlberg.
Yeah, Mark Wahlberg.
I've been in his home.
I know you have.
So I'm going to pick Fear.
Okay.
Mark Wahlberg's Fear.
I've never seen Fear.
The infamous fingering on a Ferris wheel.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, what?
There's like 30 Bush songs on the soundtrack. He gets fingered on a Ferris wheel. Oh, yeah. Wait, what? There's like 30 Bush songs on the soundtrack.
He gets fingered on a Ferris wheel?
No.
He fingers someone.
That's been in his contract forever.
That will never happen to him on a Ferris wheel.
No, he will not.
No, he fingers Reese Witherspoon on a roller coaster in Seattle.
Oh, roller coaster?
Who was a Ferris wheel?
Yeah, it could have been the Ferris wheel.
Fingering on acoaster is way different.
You're going from R-rated to X.
There isn't even a rollercoaster on the pier.
There's a Ferris wheel.
The big old Ferris wheel.
You're right.
Oh, man.
Finger begging on a rollercoaster is hilarious.
Mark Sark is this like...
Like, babe, want to get blasted on the mind eraser?
He's this creepy dude who ends up stalking Reese Witherspoon.
And there's tons of problematic shit with the movie.
But it's just a movie I saw
at the right time where I felt edgy for watching it.
Well, it's not problematic. He's a psycho.
But I mean, she's 16.
He's 22 or something.
Also, movies can depict bad things.
It's about the dynamic between him and the dad
who is the guy from CSI.
The original CSI guy.
There's that scene in there where he...
God, what's he say?
It's probably why your wife's all over my stick or something.
I'm like, whoa, Mark.
He's pretty crazy.
That's a tough swallow.
Yeah, they end up being fucking lunatics in the movie, like a lot of death.
Okay.
Yeah.
And it's one of those where you just...
It's a thriller.
Yeah.
It's not a good movie, but I'm like, I think it's fucking great.
Yeah.
It's definitely one for me. I thriller. Yeah. It's not a good movie, but I'm like, I think it's fucking great. Yeah. It's definitely one for me.
I imagine.
Yeah.
He does Nicole Forever on his chest in ink.
Oh, then he beats his chest to make her think his dad beat him up.
Oh, he beats his own chest?
Yeah.
What year is this?
96.
96.
So this is early Wahlberg.
Yeah.
This is one of his first movies, I think. Oh, okay. So he is early Wahlberg. Yeah, early. This is one of his first movies, I think.
Oh, okay.
So he's like young.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's just such a good lunatic in that movie.
Yeah, he is.
And he's also like a good, good boy, too.
You believe him in the beginning, kind of.
Totally.
But then you're like, yeah, wasn't he like, he's 20-something?
She's definitely not even a senior in high school.
Yeah.
And of course, the dad.
And the bad part where you're just like,
in the real world, absolutely not would this dad let his daughter ever see this girl even once.
And the dad even meets him and is like,
all right, go out with David, see how you're doing.
Why would that be the name you gave him?
Huh?
Oh, is that the character's name?
Yeah.
Oh, I thought you were just fucking him.
I was like, damn, dog, you're just making up, what?
The movie's tagline was, lie down with dogs and you'll get up with fleas.
Lie down with David and you'll be lucky if you get up at all.
I don't like this.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Also, what a long tagline.
That's a long tagline.
Someone wrote that while hungry and angry they weren't breaking for lunch yet.
Fucking here.
This movie has nine taglines, though.
I don't know how accurate I am.
He's dying to date you.
He's dying to date you.
By him, I mean David.
Can we just cut that?
No.
There's one of them just, every David's a fucking psycho.
David's a fucking psycho? A lot of these are teenagers.
David's all suck.
Guess who's fucking your daughter?
David.
You guys, this is a lot of bad.
And your daughter's a teenager, and David's not, and David's psycho.
This one's too wordy.
Bad press for me.
I'm starting to think these taglines were written by somebody else and weren't an actual
part of the movie, because here's the other ones, okay?
With boyfriends like this
enemies are the last thing you need.
Boyfriends named David.
Who needs enemies?
This fairy tale couldn't get much worse.
And then this, okay.
He wants to make you his
in the worst way.
Together forever
or else. The attraction
was obvious. The danger wasn wasn't these are all made up
attraction infatuation desire love all caps fear oh dude this is the last one guys like him don't
grow on trees or even swing on them but he might just hang you from one. Are you serious? Yeah. You're not making that up. What? No.
He's not a monkey, but a lynch.
Yeah.
What do they say?
I don't even know.
That shit was done in a call center in India.
The agent. That had nothing to do with the.
The agent of the writer calling him and being like, here's.
Okay.
The good news is they bought the script.
Bad news is they don't want to use any of your taglines.
And they want to change the title from Fear David to just Fear.
Why?
Fear?
How do they know what it's about?
Look, man, we won the battle.
Just take the check.
They're going to call whatever they want to call it.
It's called Fear David.
You could be afraid of anything.
David sucks. it it's called fear david of anything david sucks the name of the script is david sucks
you guys are gonna see david sucks chad we all know that david fucked your wife and now she's
chad she's david's wife you can't call this movie david sucks man that guy fucked my wife he's
trying to fuck my daughter. David sucks.
Oh, they said it.
I love it.
They said it in the movie.
They said it.
I love it when that happens.
That's the best.
Yeah, here.
Excellent.
David, time for your fourth pick.
Oh, man.
My fourth pick.
I got to tell you guys, it pains me like deep to do it to him.
I know.
I know what you're doing.
Because this is one of my favorite movies of all time.
I know what you're doing.
Yeah. It got an 18% on favorite movies of all time. I know what you're doing. Yeah.
It got an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes.
And I understand in the grand scope of cinema
that it's a bad movie.
But you know what?
I love it.
And I'll probably watch it every three months
until I die.
What am I doing over here?
Fucking belly.
What am I rubbing?
Belly is a great...
You see me rubbing my belly?
Yeah.
That's fucking you.
Mike Williams.
I knew you were going to do that.
That movie sucks.
It's great, but it sucks, dude.
It's so good, though.
It's beautiful.
It's so blue.
It's so shitty, man.
It's so blue.
It's so shiny.
It's so blue.
So blue.
So much weird shit.
Like, they just, like, in the beginning, when they bust into the club and they're shooting
at the club owner, when you watch it, club and they're shooting at the club owner,
when you watch it, the way they're shooting their guns
is just like, oh, Yosemite Sam.
It's ridiculous.
Everybody's got a giant desert eagle.
But also, I love this glove.
You're going to wake up Kisha.
DMX?
Oh, yeah.
You guys thought DMX was it?
Was that Earl Simmons?
Do you want Kisha to go down here?
My favorite part of that movie is when they're watching
Gummo in DMX's house
and like
his all white everything
monochromatic house
does he have a white pool table or a black pool table
I think it might be white with black
white okay I was gonna say
white pool table's bold
yeah
wait a minute.
He was the guy
in the Will Smith video
driving in summertime
with the white steering wheel.
Oh.
That's right.
We found him.
That steering wheel
goes full circle,
my friend.
Red threads
on that fucking cork board.
365 degrees.
One guy.
360 degrees.
Eating anything
with barbecue sauce.
Ruined your whole house. He had white M&M's made, this guy. I just wanted Eating anything with barbecue sauce. White M&M's.
He had White M&M's made, this guy.
I just wanted you to do your DMX because you got a really good one.
That's why I was trying to do it.
Oh, now I can't think of a good.
Shorty can't eat no books, dog.
What?
You got to do what?
You got to wake up and do it.
He was like, I ain't a bitch.
You a bitch.
And DMX says, uh-huh.
That shit was so like, that scene was so like like like that's just that scene was
like so like yo he's gonna make this kid kill this kid yeah and when he's watching gummo i didn't know
gummo was a real movie when that shit comes up i didn't know it was a movie until years later
when somebody was like oh it's funny how they're watching gummo in that yeah i just thought it was
a weird i never noticed that yeah dude wow yeah the scene with the rabbit rabbit and that little kid oh because i always thought you okay i always thought it was really weird movie. I never noticed that. That's wild. Yeah, the scene with the rabbit. Rabbit, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that little kid.
Because I always thought, okay, I always thought it was really weird.
I thought Hype Williams just made that part to put in that movie.
Yeah.
And I was like, this is fucking, what is this crazy fucking fake movie?
That's next level crazy shit.
Yeah, I was like, that shit, yeah.
Even putting Gummo in it, it's a bold choice.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what always bugged me about Billy? Gum it, it's a bold choice. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. You know what always
bug me about belly?
Gummo isn't really
an enjoyable movie.
Not at all.
You can argue
whether it's good or bad.
I can't imagine.
Gummo makes you feel weird, dude.
Yes, it does.
Gummo's gnarly, dude.
So that part in belly,
they always make the Midwest
look like shitheads.
They got the dude,
the one dude from Omaha
who plays Kane in Menace.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's eating a banana
outside of his shop.
He's like,
about to drop the dime
on them fools. So they're painting him like a snitch. He's eating a banana outside of his shop. He's like, about to drop the dime on them fools.
So they're painting him
like a snitch.
He just looks like a coward.
And that's their one version
of the Midwest.
Omaha was like the place
they went.
They were like,
look at all these
dumb country idiots.
We'll go out here
and sell them all
a bunch of fucking drugs.
Major city.
I'd pay off my house
these fucking idiots.
We're gonna film here.
Fuck you guys.
Omaha's also full of gangs.
It is.
Yeah, I mean. Best part of belly? Fucking Method to film here. Fuck you guys. Omaha's also full of gangs. It is. Yeah, I mean.
Best part of belly? Fucking Method Man, dude.
Oh, Ike Love?
Yeah, easy.
When he's in the strip club and he's like,
Get up on some bitches!
He's in a strip club wearing orange
camo with a desert eagle on him.
I didn't know you could blow up the spot that big.
I'm going to Portland on Friday.
Maybe I'll wear orange camo at a strip club. That'll be great. You great you got to get the hat i think it's a great idea just don't bring
the uh the massive handgun two desert eagles i think you think the guy with all the face tattoos
that the sassies won't be too kind i'm a giant desert eagle i'm walking in with they pat you
they found that gun oh my god dude never heard from again no no that guy'd probably fucking
bring you in a different room and be like,
hey man,
where exactly did you get this?
Like,
do you know who I know?
He'd be into it.
Yeah.
Well,
that guy likes me from talking balls,
so I think I might be okay.
You know,
I talked,
we're going off on a,
if you're ever in Portland Strip Club sassies,
this dude looks gnarly,
like he's fucking,
like he was in a secret place.
He's secretly nice.
I've talked to him a couple times,
and if you don't come at him with an attitude,
if you don't come at him with an attitude,
you don't show up drunk. I mean, you know, if you don't show up drunk with an attitude if you don't come at them with an attitude and you don't show up drunk
I mean, you know
if you don't show up drunk
so we got T-Boz, Method Man
Nas, DMX
that's it
Sean Paul is in it
Sean Nepal
that Jamaican dude
that Jamaican guy is my favorite
the boss?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The original Don Dada.
Smoking an insanely large blunt.
Huge blunt.
So huge.
Just watching soccer.
Yeah.
I could use a subtitle for that guy.
Yeah, for sure.
Because when I hear it in the car, I'm like, come again?
He's the toughest Ross Clot Jamaican.
Don't bring scared business to his house.
Yep.
That's what he says.
That's what he says.
And then he says,
we're all going to have to watch all these movies together.
I watched the game Jamaica,
and then DMX says,
Jamaica is good.
Jamaica is very good.
There it is.
Yeah.
It works.
Yeah, I love Belly.
I've seen it.
We had free cable when that shit came out,
so I've probably seen it 50 times.
Matt Bronger,
time for your fourth,
and then your final picks.
Okay,
so I might do a four and five? Yeah i forgot okay so all right uh fourth i'm going
commando oh yeah what's your pick though put your underwear back on bro oh hey it's such a good
movie it's so bad commando and i mean it's so bad I love it. It's such a perfect 80s action film.
That steel drum theme.
Do you hear how hard you got in right there?
My dad and I, my dad would take me to see every Schwarzenegger movie and every James Bond movie that was like our thing.
Right.
And that one, I remember watching it.
It's a good thing.
He breaks that guy's neck on the plane and then jumps off the plane
as it's taken off into a marsh.
And then he sets his watch, because the plane's
going to land in this amount of hours.
He has that much time to find his daughter.
Sure.
And my dad, he set his watch, and I remember my dad going, like, ah, nice.
Which is like, okay, cool.
He's got that much time.
He didn't say nice, but it was something like that.
Like a ticking clock.
He's like, that's a solid, yeah.
Well done.
Good plot device.
He just shoots everyone. Yeah. He's like that's a solid. Yeah. Well done. Good plot device. He just shoots everyone.
Yeah.
He's like ridiculous body.
He's got his haircut like Colossus, who was always my favorite X-Man.
He does like that.
Yeah.
That's a straight up Colossus.
Straight up Colossus cut.
Yeah.
It's just like, you know, the villain is not in great shape, which I love.
And he's somehow fighting.
Yeah.
They used to get away with that.
A five time Olympian. They could do that back then. And he's somehow fighting a five-time Olympian.
They could do that back then.
Yeah, because he had an Australian accent.
You know?
And if he did enough.
And the line is just like, the guard is just like,
you ever cut a little girl's throat?
Like putting a knife through butter.
And then the guy goes over to the fucking badass.
He goes, you soldiers sound real tough
talking about cutting little girls' throats.
They make me laugh.
If Matrix is here, he'd laugh too.
And it's like, Bennett and Matrix
are both bad motherfuckers.
Yeah, right.
And they laugh at other soldiers.
They're like, yeah, you got a gun.
I'll fucking murder all of you.
I'll kill you anyway.
Matrix.
And it's like,
John Matrix.
Bennett is literally bored.
He's like, I just want to fight you anyway. Matrix. And it's like, Ben is literally bored. He's like,
I just want to fight this dude.
Yeah.
You know what?
Matrix gets him
to put his fucking gun down
and knife fight him.
Sure.
Talks him into it.
Yeah.
That's pretty much
what I want to do.
Why don't you put your gun down,
you coward,
and fight me with a knife?
Yeah.
And he throws a tube through him
that skewers him
and the steam comes out.
It doesn't blow.
And he goes,
let off some steam Bennett
that's right
it's so dumb manly I love it
it's the most action
movie of all the 80s action movies
more than like
Terminator is like a good movie
it's like an actually good movie
you know the first Rambo
actually good movie the other one
whatever whatever but like Die hard an actual good movie
actual good movie this one though is the
most action movie the quips
the fact that it's fucking John Matrix
how oily and dirty he is
the whole time yep he's fucking it's amazing
Radon Chong's in it yeah
is that Chun-Li? Cindy
in the movie Radon Chong
I'm just trying to think who it is Tommy Chong's daughter oh gosh really yeah the love interest you movie, Radon Chong? I'm just trying to think who it is. Tommy Chong's daughter.
Oh, gosh, really?
Yeah.
The love interest.
You ever seen Radon Chong?
I was thinking of a dude, a completely different person. All right, so Commando, and then my fifth and final.
I wrestle with this one.
It's my last, because it's not necessarily bad, but it is.
I hope you're going the way i want you to be going
teen wolf oh what yeah people say teen wolf is bad it's one of those things it's just so insane
that he's a fucking werewolf yeah his dad is a werewolf and there's a dude in the movie who's
constantly fucking with him who knows he's a werewolf. He's still just like, oh, yeah.
He knows he's a werewolf.
He's just like, yeah, you're a loser.
It's like, I will murder you.
I'm a werewolf.
I will tear your head off.
I'm a wolf, bro.
Don't you understand?
Like half the time, I'm a wolf.
I'm doing backflips on top of a moving van with my buddy.
Here's how you know it's a bad movie.
There's a woman named Boof.
Yeah, Boof.
Okay, anyway, go on.
But it's beautifully perfectly 80s. Michaelf. Yeah, Boof. Okay, anyway, go on. But it's beautifully, it's beautifully, perfectly 80s.
Yeah.
Michael J. Fox in his prime.
The football,
or the basketball coach
is one of the greatest characters
in all of filmdom.
Yeah, Coach Finstock.
Because he's a coach
who doesn't care if they win.
And he says that to them.
He's like, hey, it's, you know,
you know, win or lose,
we all had fun.
Winning doesn't matter.
Like, no coach can say that. No. And he has all these amazing lines. He has his line where it's like, hey, it's, you know, you know, win or lose, we all had fun. Winning doesn't matter. Like, no coach can say that.
No.
And he has all these amazing lines.
He has his line where it's like,
he's like, you guys want to know
the secret to life?
And I'm going to butcher it.
Someone can say it from memory,
I'm sure, out there.
They'll get at you.
But he says,
never, like, never date a woman
with a rose tattoo.
Never play pool with a guy
whose first name is a city
man you stick to that the rest is cream cheese that's solid that's all he says to these kids
that's my advice for life i'm not playing dallas and pool he's so i forget the actor's name but
he's so funny minnesota fats cincinnati red these were sharks can't play those guys. These were sharks. Yeah. But like, and yeah,
so yeah,
that's the shit that makes it.
See,
now that's a good,
that's a good pick
because I wouldn't have thought of that.
Yeah.
And you're right.
So it's fun to be like,
to step outside the box a little bit
because I always looked at Teen Wolf like,
that movie's great,
but I never dove in.
It's an 80s classic,
not a great movie,
but I love it.
It's about a teenage wolf. Yeah. That is a wild premise. That love it yeah it's a teenage wolf yeah that is a
wild even even in the 80s when i was a kid and that movie came out i was like are you fucking
kidding teen wolf you're like that was like an snl sketch the whole way to the theater you're
like are you fucking serious paying for your ticket you're fucking kidding me
you can't be fucking serious so So this movie is going to actually show right now.
This is bullshit.
What are we fucking doing here?
Dad, give me that Diet Coke.
What the fuck are we doing here?
It starts.
Yeah, right.
He changes.
That was the first movie I showed on it.
I won't be leaving.
A great tradition.
That's a solid pick, man.
Hell yeah.
David, your final pick. This big man is a big hit from my child. It wasn't be leaving. A grand tradition. That's a solid pick, man. Hell yeah. Thank you. I like that.
That was a good sleeper.
David, your final pick.
This pick, man, is a big hit from my...
It wasn't a hit.
I think that maybe we just got it on VHS from a Goodwill one time, and I watched it all
the time, because people have told me, have argued about the existence of this movie.
It stars Glen Campbell.
1992 hits Rock-A-Doodle. Never heard of it. No one's ever seen it. 1992 hits Rockadoodle.
Never heard of it.
No one's ever seen it.
I know Rockadoodle. I saw Rockadoodle.
No one has ever seen that.
It's about a rockabilly rooster.
Yeah, it's got like a 20% on Rockadoodle.
Is it animated, I just said?
Is it called Rockadoodle 2?
Ah!
I just smashed the damn mic on the table.
That was such a good joke.
Nobody would have been mad at you.
It almost feels like they made Rock-A-Doodle 1 just to make Rock-A-Doodle 2.
Rock-A-Doodle 2.
Rock-A-Doodle 2.
Rock-A-Doodle 2.
Did I break my mic?
No.
No, man.
Okay, good.
Boy, Axl Rose would be in a lot more debt if that's how you broke him, Mike.
I'm sorry.
Rock-A-Doodle 2.
More debt?
What do you know?
I have no idea.
Is he in debt?
Is Axl doing okay?
I don't... Man, there's a picture of him and Mickey Rourke, and they both look like Shane, and I think
you sent it to me.
Did you send it to me?
I don't know, man.
It was definitely in the group thread.
I think I did.
They look like...
Yeah.
Anyway.
He played Chanticleer.
Yeah, he played Chanticleer.
Chanticleer, it's about a rooster on a farm who crows, and then the sun sun comes up but then he goes to the big city because
his voice is so beautiful and the farm is plunged into darkness and this little boy has to go back
and get chantecler from the city and get him to get the sun to come up or the owls will take over
the farm it's an acid dream but i used to love that i remember I remember Rockadoodle. And he was like an Elvis type.
So he was like, my daddy taught me how to sing,
and that's why this voice means everything.
And then the rabbits are like, sun don't shine, you better shine.
And he's like, better shine.
It was great.
That sounds awesome.
Yeah, it's great.
I checked that out.
It's crazy.
It was the people who made like an American tale,
and like all bugs go to heaven and shit.
But it was like their B-side.
Yeah, yeah.
I remember that.
Was it DreamWorks?
Who made it?
No.
Way before DreamWorks.
It was like fucking
Dog.
I don't even know.
Maybe.
Because yeah,
they did do all those
because it's very much
in the vein of those
other movies.
It was those,
Don Bluth was the producer
so it's one of those
non-Disney movies
from the 90s.
But those were cuts though
like Five-O-Goes, like American Tale and All Dogs Go to from the 90s. But those were cuts, though.
Like, Five Will Go's American Tail and All Dogs Go to Heaven.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I am a four-time guy, yeah.
They were all really dark movies, though.
Because even Five Will Go's West is a super dark movie.
Yeah, for sure.
And Rock-A-Doodle is also very adult themes, a lot of it.
Like, the trappings of fame and whatnot. Sure. Yeah, rockadoodle i love that movie so much and people 21 on rotten tomatoes
that's crazy i feel like it's because nobody saw it yeah it's it's upsetting some of these and i
know we did it already but some of these movies like bad boys got like 19 or some shit or bad
boys too oh it's fucking wild anyway that we did that a while ago but I don't want to
rehash the past.
I already killed someone
thinking about that.
Damn.
You know what I mean?
Sean,
time for your final pick.
Let's rehash that.
Final pick is going to be
Cruel Intentions.
Oh.
Yeah,
that's a good one.
Shout out to Adam Neuroth.
We used to watch that
all the time.
Yeah,
I know why.
We'd just sit and watch
Cruel Intentions.
It is,
for whatever part
in our lives we were at, it was dope we're like yeah he's a stud uh
joshua jackson's in there oh yeah sarah michelle geller selma uh blair yep fucking uh reese
witherspoon she's been in two of my movies yeah yeah it's just it's such a ridiculous
ridiculous movie i watch that movie now and I'm like, who the fuck can relate
to this?
What the fuck is this?
It's the same
movie as Dangerous
Liaisons, but like now.
Which is based on what the fuck is the book?
God damn it.
Les Liaisons Dangerous.
Yeah, something.
Someone who knows the classics that's listening that's angry at me right now.
I don't know. Yeah, it's one of those you can nobody can relate to it you're just like oh man new york looks dope and like look he's got a driver's license i didn't even think
that shit looked dope dude it like freaked me out because he was trying to bang his stepsister
i'm like that was another where i'm like whoa and then that was another movie where they did
a line of blow i saw that for the first time, and they were like, Brazzers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sarah Michelle Gellar, she kisses that with the spit.
In Not Another Teen Movie, when they parody that,
and there's just so much spit in between that old lady and... The funny part about the parody in Not Another Teen Movie
is it wasn't even...
They didn't even really change it.
That's pretty much exactly how that scene went. Like, they're just
sitting on a picnic for some
reason, and Sarah Michelle Gellar
is dressed like she's on the run from the law.
Yeah, so weird.
She has those giant shades on.
Giant shades. And yeah,
she's like, I want you to remove your tongue and massage
my tongue with yours. You're like, gross, dog.
I understand that's how you do it, but
figure it out. You don't say that. You don't let me know. No one says that. One of the, gross, dog. I understand that's how you do it, but figure it out.
You don't say that.
You don't let me know.
No one says that.
One of the great Jews, Sarah Michelle Gellar.
We were very excited.
I didn't know she was Jewish.
Gellar?
Sure.
Brought misfoot in everything.
I never knew.
I never know.
I know all the Jews.
I get taken to school every time.
In the wrong hands,
my brain can be very dangerous.
Oh, yeah.
Cruel Intentions, man.
It should not be good, but I love that movie. If it's on, it gets watched.
And that placebo song in the beginning
is in a Mark Appleyard part and a flip video
years later, so I love it for the soundtrack as well.
Skateboarding. Skateboarding.
Final pick. The Entourage
movie.
I knew it! I knew it!
I thought you were going to.
He got it fifth.
A second ago.
So a second ago, I was looking at my phone because there was a few and I saw that and I saw Cruel Intentions and I was like, fuck, because I forgot about both of those.
And I was going to, we'll talk about it, but I was going to pick it.
But yeah, that was one of three that I was going to pick for my last one.
It's so bad.
I don't even think it's good.
It's so awful.
My last two picks are straight up bad movies. But this one is especially bad.
It's just a series of cameos.
That's fine.
It's just a bunch of cameos.
But I like Entourage so much that I have a soft spot in my heart for it.
Was Ronda Rousey in the first one or the second one?
This is the movie she was in.
The movie.
Turtles trying to fuck Ronda Rousey.
It is bro comfort food.
The TV show and the movie.
That's bro Kit Kats. Turtles trying to fuck Ronda Rousey. It bro comfort food yeah the tv show in the movie that's
bro it's bro mac and cheese yeah oh man it is that's also what bros call each other some
macaroni and sleaze dude that's what it is one of the favorite things that uh uh bobby bottle
service nick kroll's character ever so it, yeah. It was a favorite actor. Definitely Vinny Chase.
Like, not even a real guy.
We've never seen him act.
Fucking he showed us what Aquaman could do.
He knew.
Yes, he did.
Isn't that crazy how that movie- Biggest movie of all time.
Biggest movie of all time now.
All time.
Yeah.
Global man.
Fucking nuts.
Aquaman.
Wait, really?
That movie also sucked.
I thought you guys were kidding.
It is seriously?
No, no, not the real one. Oh, isn't it close, though? Vinny Chase's. All right also sucked. I thought you guys were kidding. It is seriously. No, not the real one.
Vinny Chases.
But the real one.
It did blow up.
It's not the biggest movie of all time.
It did do huge.
The new one sucked.
I didn't see it.
That'll be one
when I'm on the road
and it comes up as an option to watch on a plane.
I'm watching that fucking movie.
That's perfect for a plane just for the colors.
We'll get to watch some of this TV with a lot of marijuana.
Yes.
It looks very pot friendly.
We're a big Jason Momoa household.
I do like Jason Momoa a lot.
Me too.
That is a handsome beefcake, dog.
My mom keep calling him, we're at the movie, and she'd lean over.
She'd be like, Jason must have been so cold.
He's in water or whatever. She'd be like, Jason must have been so cold. Like he's in water or whatever, and she'd be like,
Jason must have been so cold.
You fucking sit down, Kelly.
Yeah, keep it together, Kelly.
You are 60.
If I was only there to hold him.
Yeah.
Fucking Jason.
It's only the 57th biggest movie of all time.
That's still an accomplishment.
That's saying something, dog. Yeah. all time That's still an accomplishment That's wild
Oh wait
20th all time worldwide
20th
That's still a major accomplishment
Good for you Jason
Good for our friend Jason
He really needed a win
Jason
Jason Mabroa
Jason Mabroa Is he married to lisa but yeah
yeah he is yeah man those are gonna be some kids i didn't even know you could do that holy crap
carol carol was at my wife was at uh his snl when he was oh yeah yeah and she's like she's like lisa
bonet is so fucking oh god oh yeah you don't have to tell me that but it's that thing you know it's always like where it's like it's like when you see someone up close oh yeah holy
shit i saw rupaul in in hollywood one time it was like like even if i didn't know it was rupaul i
would have been like who's that somebody yeah like he was like it was just like it was like a whole
presence it was crazy yeah like you understand why like something special about that one yeah wild everything all right with a knob sean yeah just over here over here on the ones and twos
two and a half hours of the episode as we go that's a bad practice i don't know what i do
and i don't know that's possible i'm always i always check it to see if it's still recording
and i'm like oh you got to what am i gonna do can't waste this
gold nah entourage movie dude we can't waste the discussion i think the first line in the movie is
johnny chase going i might even i might have to jerk it before we even get there when they're on
that wooden speedboat that i didn't know was real and they're going to vince's yacht with like
50 girls on it and it's just vince's song isn't a crazy song playing too uh yes it's uh like a steve
aoki joint yeah it's gotta be like edm one isn't vince like he's producing a movie where he's a
vampire dj or some shit yeah yeah yeah in that movie huh didn't zach efron make a vampire dj
movie he made a dj we are your friends all right actually yeah him and emily ratajkowski and west
bentley i think It was weirdly okay.
Yeah.
That could have been on here for sure.
Yeah, for sure.
That definitely could have been on here. The second-run DJ movie.
There's so many.
But it wasn't.
No, it wasn't.
The Entourage movie was, and that wraps up the All Fantasy Everything Best Worst Movies
Draft.
What do you think?
Just to quickly recap, Matt Bronger, you went first.
Favorite part right here.
And you took Roadhouse, Top Secret, Love Actually, Commando, and Teen Wolf.
Stepdad's Weekend with the kids.
All right, Matt Jr., I got your whole weekend planned out for you.
All set.
Love Actually is like that Saturday night movie where it's like,
Matt Jr.'s asleep on the couch crushing bonbons.
This one's for dad.
David, you went second.
You took Armageddon, House Party 2, Hook, Belly, and Rock-A-Doodle. Nice. Sean, you went second. You took Armageddon, House Party 2, Hook, Belly, and Rockadoodle.
Nice.
Sean, you went third.
You took Con Air, Over the Top, The Program, Fear, and Cruel Intentions.
These are good.
I went last, and I took Bad Boys 2, Fire City Blues, New Jack City,
and then Draft Day and the Entourage movie.
Dude, you're true.
You're true to yourself over there.
Fucking A.
They were all wild lists.
I like you.
Those are two I'm like, I'm betting the future's on those.
Still all over the place.
I like that Sean's last two took a weird dark sex turn.
Yeah, they did.
Didn't see that coming.
That three-hour massage class got them all worked up.
It's hard having a boner in front of 20 people
knowing you can't do anything about it until after you go to the lego movie too yeah right that's
we love some good ones on the board uh rock star with marky mark that was my other
oh is that a that's a good movie objection objectively national treasure yes that's on
mine the adventure code ninjas oh shit surf ninjas fast and the furious volcano friday after an x exit
wounds oh friday after an x is good yeah junior i had junior oh yeah junior uh i had i had pumpkin
head even though it's one of my favorite horror movies but it's a great great i love monsters
it's like a great horror movie it's like you watch it you're like this is way better than i
thought it would be everybody i show it to says. Then I had some questions that I didn't want to,
and I don't want to spend too long on this.
Is Rounders a good movie?
I think it is.
I don't know.
I think it's a good movie.
I don't fucking know.
I don't think it's a bad movie.
I think it's good.
I think it's good.
It's tricky.
It's compliment.
Same guy who created Billions.
That dude writes good shit.
Isn't that Damon John Chiturro fucking Edward Norton?
It's good. It's a good movie.
I think it might be a good movie, man.
Is Boiler Room a good movie?
No, it is not.
That movie sucks.
That's the one with Vin Diesel, right?
Every window
in Glendale, you want to keep
going down the road, you're going down.
I'm surprised none of us drafted that. I know.
That's what I'm saying.
I almost took it.
It's a nice, enjoyable movie to watch.
You know what Boiler Room is?
Glendale Gary, Glendale Ross.
Ladies and gentlemen, there it is.
There it is.
Here's this final question.
And this is, I almost should have brought up at the top of it.
Is Scarface a good movie?
No.
Whoa. It's not, right? It's great. And it's not, I don't know how we of it is scarface a good movie no whoa it's not right now great and it's i don't know how we should i feel like everyone's on their heels this whole and now
everyone listening just fell over what is scarface is it a bad movie i don't i kind of it's kind of
a look it's pure fucking pulp i've never thought about it but it's it's totally bananas and nuts
and makes no sense and kind of fits what we're talking about here.
You know what, though?
You know what, though?
It is.
I wouldn't say it's bad.
Well, Brian De Palma.
It's also about the Coke trade in Miami.
You can't like.
So it's got to be insane.
Yeah, you can't lay that out.
I'm not going to say it's bad.
Okay.
That's why I brought it.
I didn't pick it.
But it could have been drafted for sure.
I didn't pick it.
I just wanted to bring it up for discussion.
When you hear those stories about like we were making 30 grand a day and you're like,
if you really were,
then I guess that's how that movie has to be.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
The house has to look like that.
They were running along the razor's edge.
Yeah.
They had to fill it.
Walking along the razor's edge.
You fucking take it to the limit, bro.
Don't even start.
Push it to the limit.
That one lyric where it's like halfway through the song,
and it goes, welcome to the limit as if you
were at the limit yeah it's like you thought you were there tiger and you're like you finally went
and bought the white shoes to go with the white linen pants so welcome to the limit push it to
the limit now yeah anyway that's what i'm glad okay okay so yeah that's it's tricky yeah yeah
uh to rock around that's right on time. That does it.
Great job, everybody.
Thanks for having me, guys.
Of course.
Matt Baronga.
Check out Finally Alive in Portland.
Yep.
Check out Advice from a Dipshit with Matt Baronga.
Please do.
Check out his tour dates.
If he's coming to anywhere near you, go see it.
Shout out to everyone on the Patreon.
We got a watch along coming soon.
We do.
We do.
Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit.
Shout out to super producer marissa
she's the best shout out to frankie ocean shout out to sid the dude uh haven't said this in a
while i want to say it uh entourage ballers succession and billions may the rock be with
you and also with you yeah there we go perfect you make the holy cross of course yeah we might
have to succession is like actually a good show oh so you might have to Succession is like actually a good show so we might have to
yeah
Billions is pretty good too
they're all good shows
they're all good shows
I think that's maybe
the point that we're making
yeah
so shout out
to all those people
shout out to
we want to make sure
you send yours to us
yeah keep everything
coming in
yeah on Twitter
hit us up
allfantasypod
allfantasypodcast
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and more important
than all that
tune in again next week for another brand new
episode of All Fantasy Everything
Shukla He! That was a HeadGum Podcast.