All Fantasy Everything - Birds (w/ Miel Bredouw, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: July 4, 2019

BIRD GANG . The GVG and Miel draft birds. Be sure to check out Miel's podcast Punch Up The Jam on the HeadGum network. You can listen to Ian and Sean's episode here: headgum.com/punch-up-the-jam/016-escape-the-pina-colada-song-with-ian-karmel-and-sean-jordan.Episode Guests:Miel Bredouw @miel IG: @mielmonsterThe All Fantasy Everything Summer Tour is coming to a city near you! Find dates and tickets at headgum.com/live.Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that, oh, that fucking, that got traded to the Atlanta Hawks today. That's what the, you know. All of us. All of us got traded to the Atlanta Hawks. We're all going to be on the Hawks. Happy to be here. Yeah. Hot Lana.ks. We're all going to be on the Hawks. Happy to be here.

Yeah. Hot Lana. Hot Lana. It's going to be fun. We're going to have a good time in Atlanta. The 504? Yeah, yeah. Wobble wobble?

I've still not had a great time in Atlanta. And I know it will happen in Atlanta. I've only had it. Oh, well, we got to go to the Claremont Lounge. We have to go to the Claremont Lounge. That's right away. I've been there to film the Netflix thing. You guys didn't go to Claremont Lounge. That's right away. I've been there to film the Netflix thing. You guys didn't go to Claremont Lounge when you went there?

We didn't, no. Can you just get in? Is it popular enough to where there's a line? Yeah, there was like a little bit of a line. We went out on like a Tuesday. Did the players play? What? Did the players play?

I asked you again because I didn't think you were gonna say i asked one more time did the players play i mean the players gonna play i'd like to know too the players played well and they was i the players welcome to atlanta where the players play welcome welcome to atlanta jock and hammers and bones is Is that a song? Is that one? Are we making poetry now? Okay. Welcome to Atlanta. My foot is hot. Oh, what? Welcome to Atlanta. I'm craving a sandwich.

Ooh, yeah. Get them all out. Feel free to snap. You ruined my favorite remix. No, you just made it. You just made it my favorite remix. You just remixed a remix somehow. You're welcome. Welcome to Atlanta.

The mango has turned. It has been on the counter and it is rotten. Food for me once. Shame on you. Food for the flies. Shame on me. Murphy Lee is rolling in his grave. Yeah, he's dead. R.I. me. Murphy Lee is rolling in his grave. Yeah! He's dead. R.I.P. Murphy Lee. I think he's still doing good.

He might die between now and when this comes out. Oh, that would, I'd feel really bad. I would feel bad too. Murphy Lee was a Saint Lunatic. Yeah, he was. He was also on the Welcome to Atlanta remix. Murphy Lee was? Oh boy, Sean.

Man, I'm blowing it, huh? I don't think. He was also on that. That the thrust you can find me up in one tweezy that's what i remember from the welcome to atlanta remix yeah that was jermaine dupree that was jermaine dupree he's uh murphy lee said who said st louis ain't hip hop dirty we hop to a tip you don't remember that nope i'm a lunatic with too much grip to let us slip all right man sounds like murphy if i had to if i had to say if i had to get if i just saw those lyrics one of the saint lunatics it was murphy lee or it could be key

one like we've kept one of the other ones you know though you need to could be courtney b i didn't even know ali i don't know because, because Kiwan, where you getting them colors? Are you buying them? Oh, yeah. Isn't there a dude named Courtney B? Are you buying them? Are you dying them? Courtney Barnett. Are you dying them?

Kiwan, where you getting them colors? Are you dying them? Man, that song's good. He's like, no. Nuh-uh. Then he puts the mic down like, yes, but shut the fuck up about it. He's in rice. I got a die guy.

I want a die guy. I don't want no die guy I think they're called assassins I want a die guy y'all it's home I really want to die emo bone thugs

emo bone thugs I don't miss my uncle Charles No He didn't understand What kind of man I am I am I just wanna die I'm not gonna miss anybody

I'm not gonna miss anybody Die, die Tell me how you're gonna die Not gonna miss it. Because I'm gonna be dead. Living in a hateful world, straight to hell. Good.

It's good. I like that. How did we get here? Because we're all friends and this is real fun. Oh. That's how you get there. That's how you get to funny stuff.

It's a hot drink that'll get you there. That's how I got here. You know, that kind of podcast. Damn. Oh, yeah. That kind of podcast. Get a a hot drink that'll get you there. That's how I got here. You know, that kind of podcast. Damn. Oh, yeah. That kind of podcast. You're gonna get

a little more coffee. Not gonna miss anybody. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Are emos, can I ask this truthful question? Did you just say, are emos?

What are emos supposed to be sad about? Okay. I mean, plastic. No, I think. Sean, I'll take this one. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, it was take this one. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, it was directed

towards me. Wait, you were looking at both of us. I met them. Sean, we know who he's talking to. Oh, get up kids, piebald.

Sean, that's not emo. Sean, that's not emo. We're talking about Dashboard Confessional. I think I haven't seen Dashboard live in Sioux Falls. Okay, sing one of their songs. I can't remember it.

Any of them. Sing a single one. I saw the promise ring one. Vindicated. I can't remember any of them. Sing a single one. I saw the Promise Ring one. Vindicated! I mean, literally any of them. So kiss me hard! You really don't know it? I think I could just sing one, though, from what you said. Try. Cutting scars

on the floor! Ian came running back. Good lipstick is calling, don't bother Rachel! I know exactly what goes on! Yeah, I think I could. If you don't think me and the owl are going to be in the pit. I will throw. Oh, my God.

So I can't answer your question, David. If you don't get it, you don't get it. Is that OK? You're either born with it or you're not. OK. Sorry. It is the sadness. You have it or you don't.

The sadness within. Yeah. You have it or you don't. The sadness within. Right? Are you listening? Whoa. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Sing it back. Whoa. Sean.

Is that the crazy taxi song? No. Well, maybe. That's Jimmy Eat World. Which is maybe not even. Shane just jumped up whatever subways he's on and punched a hole

through the roof when we started singing that. Shane's like, finally, an episode for me. I saw The Promise Ring. Do you guys remember The Promise Ring? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that about not doing it until you're married? Couldn't you take the second bus home? That sounds like The Promise Ring. That's actually better than The Promise Ring.

Even with... I have goosebumps. Even with the like The voice however bad I did it What's the opposite of goosebumps? Your dick went inside your body I got fish scales Fear Street dude

Fear Street Would you be my valentine stop you're not gonna marry me you can't sing like that in front of me i remember i bring it up all the time i talked about taekwondo one time you're like stop i'm getting horny we all just melted out of the chair. Stop, I'm warning you. She just dissolved into ooze on the floor. Like Alex Mack. You're going to invite me over to your home and sing. You have to marry me, and those are the rules. That's how my parents did it.

I saw Jimmy World open for Tenacious D and Weezer one time. Super dank. Tenacious D and Weezer went on after. They didn't open for them well they but they it was at the they did some respect for jimmy at world it was pretty wild because that's what that's how dank the show is they were the least famous band it was gnarly tenacious d just because they were like right when they blew up and everyone just loved the band i would would be the least interested in seeing out of those three I don't like funny music

though that's the only band at any point that's the only one I know anything about from what we've been talking about the school intro oh Weezer's like yesterday just like Buddy Holly you know that music video I wanted to live in

that you gave me shit for yeah yeah yeah the 50s another draft I was actually on thank you You know, that music video I wanted to live in that you gave me shit for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The 50s. Another draft I was actually on. Thank you. Hashpipe. Yeah, Hashpipe. Yeah.

Beverly Hills. Okay, please. This song fucking haunts me. Where are you? And I'm so sorry. That's Blink. That's Blink. I was going to say. I think to answer your question, emo,

I mean, it's like, is it just a general malaise with life? Yeah, it's angst. It's angst. Younger, you're a little younger. It's 2000s The Smiths. The same thing. Nope. I don't even connect to

Smiths fans like that either. No, it's like David. David, you're looking at one. The same thing. Nope. Teenage angst. I don't even connect to Smiths fans like that either. I don't know. Hey, David, David, you're looking at one. I want to think twice before you say anything else. That felt like that part of Pirates of the Caribbean where he's like, you best start believing in ghost stories because you're in one. That was what you just did to me. That was awesome.

That was an awesome moment of rubbish. I'm Jeffrey Rush in this scenario and you're Orlando Bloom I remember a thing my good friend Graham Wickland who I don't think listens to this podcast but is one of my oldest friends shout out Graham Wickland said about how we were all because we were all

like listening to like he listened to more artsy stuff like he was listening to the Smiths and like but we were all listening to like fucking like the Helio sequence and emo music. Just like sad. High school feels music. And we were posting in our dead journals, which was like a gother

sad. We were just blogging. There was this thing called dead journal and live journal too, but they were like blogs that you would write in, but just to your friends. It was an online diary. It was an online diary.

But your friends could read it? Yeah. It could be friends only though. I mean, it was a blog. Friends only, yeah. It was a blog. It could either be friends only or you could make it wide open. But you know, it would be like a way to write long form and then just put it out there.

And you got to choose your mood and write down what song you were listening to. I mean, it's like a Facebook post now for people that are still doing that. Yeah. Like a big, long. And we were all so sad, but everyone was like, had pretty good lives. Like some of us, our parents were divorced. Yeah. But you really like milked that for everything else.

Milked it. Like you weren't hooking up with anyone or like you weren't dating anyone. You would milk that too, you know? And he, I remember he hit the nail on the head. It's like, we were a group of kids who were profoundly sad about the fact that we had nothing to be sad about. Yes. Exactly true. I had an entire live journal entry about how I had to go get a retainer.

Yeah. And I was so mad at my mom about it. And it was emotional, right? I was so mad. I should be able to make it. I think I was listening to Finch. Yeah, that's perfect. Wait, I should decide what's in my mouth.

Oh, man. I mean, that's perfect. Wait, I should decide what's in my mouth. Oh, man. I mean, that's always true. Yeah. I feel like in high school, I was really just clanging and banging in the higher church. That's where all my emotions went. You were just in the gym? And I'm like, no, I was in there too. And listen to Taking Back Sunday.

Man. I saw them backstage. I got to go backstage for Taking Back Sunday. Dude, they're playing Bumbershoot. Really? Yeah yeah i'm going to bumbershoot i'm going i'm coming up come on up i'm coming up i can come up then wait tyler's gonna be up there i might go up yeah come up too i don't know if you get to call him tyler yet yeah i've met him before yeah fuck you how about that also what's his last name i don't know it's not the creator mr tyler last name is creator no he has a super nigerian last name oh it does it yeah and it

sounds like okonkwo from uh the guy from things fall apart hell yeah if you guys read the chenua achibe book of course of course we have sean what's your favorite part of it uh no i don't read it's great oh it's a personal choice i don't do tv yeah yeah it? No, I don't read. It's a personal choice. I don't do TV. Yeah, yeah, no TV, no management. I don't read books. Just like kind of stuff I don't do. Vegetables, barely.

Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on the gram. I've never understood what that joke means, and I refuse to. Please don't explain it to me. You've seen a lot of those? Yeah, I don't get that. That's what? Do you not want refuse to please don't explain it to me what joke yeah I don't get that that's what

do you not want us to explain it because it takes three seconds I don't know that that's a joke that's just I would like to remain ignorant okay

gloss over it the little secret okay yeah I just wanted you to know I didn't I wasn't in on the joke we're gonna tell you

on Christmas yeah Christmas morning I'm gonna tell you on your birthday I'm gonna text you tell me every morning of Hanukkah. Hello. Good morning.

Can you do one letter a day? Are there ever Hanukkahs like that where you open up? Solve a cipher? And then it's a birdhouse. Wait, what? Like you get little pieces on each night? Yeah. I'm sure there's people that have done that.

It's like eight though. Yeah. You're like, there must be people who do that. It's like eight though? Yeah. You're like, there must be people who do that. Okay, that's what I would do. Now you, if I had kids.

As I pointed you in, you know a lot about Hanukkah. You're Jewish, yeah? Yeah, 100%. Bar Mitzvah and everything. Do you know that? Do you know Ian's Jewish? Ian's Jewish.

Do you know that? No. I'm Jewish. What? Yeah. This whole time? All the time. No.

You didn't convert? No. Wow. Been Jewish? Yeah. Ventral. Bar Mitzvah. Wow. Wow. No. Wow. Benjo. Yeah. Ventral. Wow. Wow.

Of the boy. R.D. Jews. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I don't know what's happening.

I'm sorry. I got a chaotic energy into the fortress. No, that's okay. I had breakfast tacos in here today. There's no, you can't make it more chaotic. Yeah. I got a rug. My shit's wild right now.

Thank God. I bought two vases. They're on my bed right now. Hurricanes? Vases. What? What type of vase? Sorry, I went too deep.

Wait, what did you think he said first? I thought he said vase and I repeated with a type of vase, a hurricane. It was a hurricane, a type of vase?

I'll bust them out and we'll decide. Is it a slurricane? Guys, stay tuned to the end of this episode where we look at Eden's faces. Yeah, of vase, a hurricane. Was a hurricane a type of vase? I'll bust them out and we'll decide. Is it a slurricane? Guys, stay tuned to the end of this episode where we look at Eden's faces. Yeah, all vase, everything. My mom would listen to that. All vase, everything?

We'll make it for her. If it was a reality show, I'd watch it. Oh, yeah, I would too. Oh, I'll watch almost any reality, especially nice ones. Nice British ones. I'll watch them all. Oh, the Brits.

I'll watch them all. The Bakeits. I'll watch them all. The Bake Off is so good. Oh, you're talking, okay. Because I was going to say the British ones I've seen are exceptionally mean. Oh, really?

No, no, no. Not like Love Island. Not like Love Island. Like Monty Don. You know like their makeover ones and stuff are like horribly mean. Have you seen Grand Designs?

No. You got to watch Grand Designs. You got to watch the Great British. I mean, I'm pretty thick into Maggie Day Fiance right now. That's kind of Well, what do you think of that? Bake Off is where it's at. I've seen Bake Off

I'd rather not watch TV than walk in. Does that make sense? It puts me in such a pleasant place when I watch Bake Off that I'm like, I'd rather just not be watching TV. I see what you mean You know what I mean? Like a drug Yeah, like I'll go for a walk and read or some shit.

It's like, I don't want to feel like that when I watch TV. Sean. Yeah. When can people see what you're, what you're, where do you, you know. You want to go buy the album? The buck starts here. There you go. You want to go to a special thing, records.com.

You can get it there with a flask. Get a flask. For 15 bucks, I believe. So download card with a flask we just used a flask you can't put juice in it you can sorry what were you gonna say i was saying we use it at the pup the band show we did but also yeah you could put juice in it if you are a psychopath or you like juice or you just need more juice on the go i don't know juice juice prices skyrocketed juice i'm trying to get into Juice Futures I'm Brie, B-Y-O-C-J

Juice Futures That's Whoa We need to do something with that name One more time Juice Futures Juice Futures Juice Futures

I don't know what it is That maybe is the clothing brand We gotta put that in the pocket Juice Futures Juice Futures Vanessa, drop some air horns over the word Anytime we say Juice Futures Rosa, make an entire jingle for Juice Futures

And drop it. Please, please, please. Marissa, you have to sing it. Yeah, but then air horn

over that too, please. But do sing it. Thank you, Marissa. Thank you. We love you. Marissa's the shit.

Shout out to Super Producer Marissa at the beginning of an episode. Shout out to everybody tweeting at her too. I don't know about that. Thank you for everyone

that did. No, no. She's our friend. Stop. I know, everybody wants to be your friend she was my first stop I feel like this is the emo I feel like this is an emo

episode and I'm David this is going to be very emo I don't I'm really worried that I don't now that you said that I don't know what you're that. I don't know what you're drafting. Tattoos of a variety. I don't think I do.

David, you sound like my dad. Shut up. The buck starts here. You can get it wherever albums are available. Wherever albums are sold online or anywhere you can stream it to, but also we're going on tour which I'm sure will bring up the dates, but when this comes out, it'll be July.

We will have done Seattle and San Francisco when this comes out. We will have gone swimmingly. By the way, you guys, thank you for coming to those shows. Anyone that came out to those shows,

thank you for doing it. It's crazy. Especially people in Seattle. Thank you so much for coming out from Seattle after Ian slandered all of Washington State on your state's draft.

It's really big of you guys to take the high ground. You're a lousy state. You the high. You're a lousy state. You got him. You got him. You're a lousy state and you couldn't carry Oregon's lunch to the beach. Well, I don't think that that's fair.

How do you like that? You have one city, one city, one cool city in all of Oregon. That's all you need. Banks. So you've been to boring. Yeah.

Zigzag. We have two cities in Washington? Bellingham, Seattle, Olympia. Bellingham! Bellingham! Oh, Casey. You're just as homer as I am. Bellingham!

Incorrect. You opened with Bellingham! I was going down the coast! I've been to Bellingham. I have been to Bellingham. I've been to Bellingham, too. Within the last 10 years. What were you been to Bellingham. I have been to Bellingham. A story as good as Bellingham. No. Within the last 10 years. Bellingham, lots of times.

I don't. What were you doing in Bellingham? Hanging out, man. I've done stand-up there twice. At really good shows. Yeah, because it rules. And still par for the course. Incorrect.

You don't even eat ham, I think they had a really good football team for a while. Other than that, I don't know. You don't play bells. Yeah. You guys actually are making a lot of good points.

You're making a lot of good points. You're making a lot of good points. I retract my statement. So what? Ng? That's what you like? You like the Ng. Yeah. Not worth it.

So wait, what you said Bellingham, which we've dispelled that rumor. Myth busted. What was the second city you said? Okay. It was cooler before Amazon was there. Yeah.

Okay. Way before. Olympia's nice. Olympia's pretty cool. But Oregon has Olympia's. Ashland is like. Pretty cool. But Oregon has Olympia. Ashland is like Olympia. All of Oregon is Olympia. It's Olympia, Oregon, right?

I thought that that's the vibe I get. Oh, yeah. Listen, I'm not trying to start a blood war. Or am I? I don't know. I can't call it. Listen, everybody just skip those two. Go to South Dakota.

Go see Mount Rushmore. Do yourself a favor. Well, Washington. Nobody wants to go to North Dakota, Sean. Go to the... Well, it's actually... It's funny you bring that up. It's in South Dakota. Hey see Mount Rushmore. Do yourself a favor. Well, Washington. Nobody wants to go to North Dakota, Sean. Go to the. Well, it's actually it's funny you bring that up in South Dakota. Hey, where's the regular Dakota? Bismarck.

Also in North Dakota. Wrong. I'm from South Dakota myself. He lives down the street from me. Yeah. Who? Bismarck? Like Fargo.

That was so funny. Fargo is actually in North Dakota. I'm from South Dakota myself. So we're talking about Rushmore, Wall Drug, The Corn Palace, The Badlands, Black Hills, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, January Jones, Mike Miller,

Shayna Baszler, Brock Lesnar. I got to put him at the one who gave you a shout out. I got to put him at the bottom. Adam Vinatieri, dude, I was showing that video all over town the other night. I could not,

I could not stop doing it. I wrote that you were doing anything all over town. That's the best. I could not stop doing it. I wrote that you were doing anything all over town. All over town. I was running all over town. Yeah. Hopefully, I don't know what this venue is like in Seattle, but we've sold about half the tickets. Showbox Soto?

The Showbox. It's big. It's a massive-ass venue. Which one? The one by Pike Place or Soto? Yeah, yeah, yeah, by Pike Place. That's a great venue. It's the other one.

Soto. Yeah, it's not the Pike Place one, I don't think. The one by Seahawk Stadium, whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah, maybe that one. By's not. It's the other one. Soto. Not the one. Yeah, it's not the Pike Place one. The one by Seahawk Stadium. Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe that one. By Safeco or not Safeco? I believe it's a big venue. Anyway.

It's 500 seats. Yeah. So by the time you've heard this, thank you 300 people who bought tickets at the last second. Hell yeah. And came out. Yeah, much appreciated. We should go promote on Cube 93.

Oh, we should. I don't care if there's five people that i don't care i mean honestly it's gonna be fully done i'm just stoked just to be going it's so sick so yeah that that's uh you know yeah so uh by the time you've heard this those will have happened for those of you uh who aren't in seattle and san francisco but want to come see us july 9th uh july 11th we we will be in Boston at the Sinclair. July 12th, in Brooklyn at the Bell House. It's sold out. July 13th, we'll be in Washington, D.C.

at the Black Cat Theater. July 14th, we'll be in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at Underground Arts. On the 18th, we will be in Minneapolis at Turf. The first show sold out. The late show, still tickets as of this recording. Although

they're going very fast. They are. Thank you for fucking with us, Minneapolis. Minneapolis rules. Chicago, on the 19th of July, also sold out. We'll be at the Hideout if you want to jump us afterwards. Columbus, Ohio on July 20th at the Woodland Tavern. That is pert near sold out. There are six

tickets as of this recording. Sell it out, Columbus. I'm pert near sold out. There are six tickets. Six. As of this recording. Sell it out, Columbus. I'm going to eat some cheese curds on stage. Shout out to Columbus. And then we're wrapping up in Ferndale, which is basically Detroit, at the Magic Bag. Tickets still available.

Hell yeah. And we're so excited to see Detroit. Seriously. So that is the AFE Summer Breeze Tour. Where it is. It is upon us. It is upon us. It is upon us.

The G is silent on twitter yes cool guy jokes 87 on instagram more fire david borey in the fortress of solid dudes i am here where can people can fuck with you my friend i am going to be in they can fuck with you in the valley if they wanted to well i mean we don't we don't need to tell them where to pull up i wasn't gonna say where to pull up that was wasn't going to say where to pull up. Valley's a big place. I will be in Asheville, North Carolina on June 20 or July 26th. Other dates will be popping up around there at that time. When you're there, they call it Yasville, right?

No, they call it Cashville. Ooh, Cashville. They just call Nashville on that. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I was there, it'd be called Rashville. Ooh, Cashville. They just call Nashville on this. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I was there, it'd be called Rashville. Oh, Rashville. Because of my eczema. Huge and worsening rash.

Yes. Do you have a rash right now? Under my eyebrow. Do you want some peas or something to put on it? No. Frozen peas? Dive into that a little bit. You thought she said black eye?

No. What? Do you put frozen peas on a rash? Well, that's like frozen peas on a black eye? No, what? Do you put frozen peas on a rash? Well, that's like frozen peas on a black eye, right? I believe you could put cold on a rash. Yeah, you just put cold on it to calm it down. I never... I think you and I have very different treatments for rashes.

I think that... What about some calamine lotion? If you said that, yeah, I would believe that. That's not crazy to me to think. That's not crazy for me to think at all not crazy for me to think you guys different different rash approaches yeah you guys came from different rash backgrounds yeah i don't mean to be rash i did it straight around doing it i had to do it and this is a safe joke so go for it thank you any dad joke flies here thank you i feel like you're the dad from my big fat greek wedding who just puts windex on everything but with frozen peas no it just cools it off so like because you know

it's hot when you're scratching it all the time it just chills it down it's true you make a lot of good points it's not like a i'm not like a maniac no i didn't say we're you know yeah i broke out in hives one time so it's neither here nor there so ashville so ashville uh sorry sorry and then uh yeah come to the tour. I don't really have a bunch of crazy dates. I'm probably looking to try to go on tour again in the fall. We'll figure it out. Stay tuned.

Yeah, stay tuned. Miel Brado. Brado. Me. At Miel on Twitter. At Miel Monster on Instagram. Thank you. Yeah, I remembered. Thank you. What do you got coming up? me on twitter at meal monster on instagram thank you yeah i remembered thank you what do you got coming up fucking too much and none of it career related i'm just taking some me time i bought a rug um what else what else i um I crumpled into a pile on my floor.

Classic Sunday. Cried and drooled, and my dog licked it up. In a corner or like in the middle of the living room? Do we cry mixed with the drool? Yep. And the dog licked them together. She really enjoyed that. That's what I have going on, and it's so exciting.

Floor crying, absolutely. I got a call one time from a comedy festival, and Ian was still gone for two days and I just don't know what, like a wave of something hit me when I walked in and I did almost the same thing. I didn't crumble, but I sat down and cried right where you're sitting pretty much.

Sometimes you need to do it. Coming home from the road is cold. It was just a thing. It was like 90 degrees out here. It was gorgeous and I'm like, I'm hungover and I don't want to go do anything. And my friend's gone and I just sat down and cried.

I love a weep. Yeah. You got to get them out. People don't do that. I had an overseas weep. Oh, really? That's very necessary.

About something or just had it? Just stuff. Yeah. Just cash. Yeah. I got my period twice in a month from being overseas. And if being overseas is that powerful

imagine what it would do to your weeping it could definitely trigger let's see I feel like I'm treading on some ignorant water here so I'm going to try to tread lightly but I'm going to I'm going to need to dive in a little bit to the two dive in a little bit to the two.

I'm going to try to, as I preface by saying, I'm going to sound dumb. Okay. So if you pronouns were treading in the ignorant water, I didn't know that it could happen twice in one month. And does that delay like the next one? Like,

Oh, see, here's the thing. They don't tell you about getting a period. It's the wild west. They don't tell us anything. They don't tell us anything. They really don't tell us anything.

It just happens and you're like, so is this it? It's brown. I thought it was supposed to be red. Serious, dog. Brown? It's brown the first time. I mean, spotting often is brown,

but the first time I got my period, I thought I shit on the front side. I did not understand what was happening. It's like they can die. Is somebody who shit on the front side. I did not understand what was happening. That is an eternity. Is somebody who shit on the back side? It's too much. It's too much. Even that's not great, you know. Yeah.

I can't believe I'm not in Iowa. David comes in, he goes, shitting on the back side. Ian goes, left side. I'm like, right side. Shitting on the back side. Left side. Right side. Wrong side.

Front side. Yeah. High tide, real tide. Then we all go outside. We shit our pants, everybody. All right. That's the thing. Also, periods that make you shit constantly.

Really? Yeah. Oh, the cramps. Everything, dude. Yeah. I'm wildly ignorant. Also, they didn't tell us about them until I was- It's not your fault.

It's the educational system in this country. It's not your fault. I mean- It's not your fault. Not today, David. Sean, it's not your fault. Not today. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. I mean, it's not your fault. Not today, David. It's not your fault. Not today. It's not you three.

It's not your fault. I need you to accept it. It's not your fault. You say, oh, thank you. It's not. Thank you.

It's not. Wait, have you seen Google hunting? Oh, that's right. He's a little more, that's right. He's like,

yeah, you're right. No, it's not my fault. No, I'm just doing therapy. I don't know what you guys are doing. Hey,

Sean, it's not your fault. But so to my original question, so if you have two in a month, does that make it so like you have two and three weeks? Do you not have one for five weeks after that? You could. Or it's just kind of I got another one the next month and that one lasted 10 days. Really? Yeah.

So every month's different for me. Everybody's different. And I do mean body in the way. I do know all day. Jaffa provides Jaffa rule. I don't know how I feel about you saying that. I love it. I love it. I love it so much.

I liked it better when you were asking about periods in all sincerity. That was more comfortable for me. No, I really was. But yeah, anyway, now I know. Thank you.

That's what I have coming up. Now it's Ian. What are you guys coming up? Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Jewish Chase Bank app. I was thinking you were going to say Jewish Front Poop. Chase?

You just call it Chase Bank. Jewish Front Pooping. Jewishfrontpoop.gov. I'm going to type that in after this. I, uh, I'm Ian Carmel. Watch the Late Late Show. Listen to All Fair and Say Everything. Come see us on tour.

If you want to see me do stand-up comedy and you're in the Pacific Northwest, come to Pickathon August 2nd through the 4th. I will be performing there. Bring your cups. Also amazing music. Nathaniel Ratliff and the Night Sweats are going to be there. Phil Lesh and the Terrapin Band.

Wow. Lucius. No. Fucking the Preservation Hall Jazz Band. Laura Verz. Verz. I mean, Verz. Seattle's not. band wow lucius no fucking the preservation hall jazz band laura verz veers i mean yeah like she lives in portland actually she does live in portland it's fine that sounds tight yeah yeah so that's gonna be awesome hello other bands me doing stand-up it's gonna be fun then i'll be at bumbershoot hell yeah where Where you can see me doing stand-up comedy. Hopefully you guys will be there.

Miel, you'll be there too, right? Yeah. If you guys are up there, I just want to see Tyler. I think it's worth it to go see Tyler. Well, I believe that's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to go. We can split a room. We'll get free passes in. So it'll be fun, man.

Yeah, I'm down. Let's split a room. Let's just kick it in Seattle for a weekend. Yeah, I'm with it. I'm going to go to Dick's twice. Let's go to Dick's Castle. I'm with it let's go fucking egg Jeff Bezos let's go egg his castle I'm gonna go to Dick's three times I called it

Dick's one time give it to Dick's two times go to Dick's three times taco time? can we get a taco time in there? we can go to taco time get some of those crispy burritos oh man we should do that we should do that tomorrow or whatever day we're in Seattle Can we go to Taco Time in there? We can go to Taco Time. I love Taco Time. Get some of those crispy burritos. Crispy burritos. Oh, man.

We should do that tomorrow or whatever day we get. Or whenever we're in Seattle. We're going to Taco Time in Seattle. I love it. Oh, absolutely. So for all the listeners out there, I got some serious senioritis at work. So I was telling Ian, tomorrow's my last day to give a proper, if I'm going to give a proper two weeks. Wow.

Sean, you gotta do it. I'm scared. I'm terrified. That's good. By the time this drops, we'll know. It, you gotta do it. I'm scared. I'm terrified. That's good. By the time this drops, we'll know. It's a good scare. We'll freaking know. It's good.

It's like when you graduate high school. I will catch you. You will. Yeah, but I've been caught. I've been. Please pay your rent. To get extremely serious, I've fallen and been caught multiple times. And I want to be done with that.

So I want this to be. You want to fall done with that. So I want this to be, I want this to work. I don't want to fall. It's someone who's fallen and not gotten caught before. It's better to get caught. But I'm just saying it's scary because it finally feels, you do all this stuff and you're like, I'm going to quit my job.

And then you're like, well, I have $10, you know, like you quit your job and you do what you do, but it finally starts to work and it has finally started to work. So if we quit, then this is kind of like the, okay, if it doesn't work, it didn't work.

If it doesn't work, then you just go back to doing what you were doing and you didn't lose anything. I know, and then you live life. But it can't succeed unless you take the chance. There she is right there. Sounds like necessary. Sorry, I got very serious.

But anyway, in all sincerity, the only reason that could even happen is because of all the fans of this particular podcast. Are you going to weep right now? Are you going to weep? You look really into it. Theo wants you to weep.

Are you going to weep and sing in the same podcast? We call it winging around here. Just winging it. Just winging it. So come see us at Bombersmer shoot come see me at pickathon and that's about it we are gathered here today in the fortress of solid dudes not only to uh shout out festivals that we're going to be performing on but also to fantasy draft birds shout out to corbin smith at corby corbin a sm. Smith or Corbina Smith however he likes it

pronounced on Twitter for suggesting this just yesterday I believe it was just yesterday he was like do you guys ever draft birds and I was like that's a great idea and at that point Miel was already coming on so it was like well Miel I'm sure would be great at birds and you were very excited about it I have to tell you my

step grandmother is a birder she's a birder. She's a birder and she's such a birder that she until recently headed to the Raptor. We're Jets over here so cool it. Sorry, sorry, sorry. If you're a Jet, you're a Gentleman. I won't tell her that we did this. She was the Raptor

like specialist at the Woodland Park Zoo. She's like a hardcore birder and my grandfather recently died who she was married to. And so I was like trying to see if I could incorporate her more into the family. And I was like trying to relate to her about birds. And within five minutes she was like, don't you have any other

birder friends to talk to? You were like, no. You didn't answer any of my bird questions. I was tired of it. No, I do not. You're wearing a shirt with birds on it. Coincidence. Yeah, fuck yeah, I love birds birds I just want to talk more about birds I sound like a bird you know

my voice is very bird like a little bit you think so bird like yeah that was opposite well that one you sounded like a like a toad more there's a lot of types of birds toad bird one of the birds I'm going to pick tonight, I feel like, talks like that.

If they could talk. Listen, don't worry about it. I wonder if... I might know what bird you're talking about. Bird opinions. You're going to get them on this episode, baby. Bird takes. And they're not well informed. Board informed bird decisions.

Now, the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors play between the three of you and we throw on shoot i'm shooting up here we go rock paper scissor shoot oh three rocks rock paper scissor shoot three rocks rock paper scissor shoot paper and the two of you continue to throw rocks that was a crazy strategy well you guys were yeah I don't know what to do I was gonna stay once I pick I pick yeah okay okay pick and roll I like to dance

I like to dance with the one I brought it's just how you do it alright I know now I was just thinking though dude okay I think I wanna fuck it up yeah that's what I meant before you determine the order of the draft I should remind you. It's a serpentine draft.

And what is that? That's a great question. You sounded like Pastor Troy when you said wait. Wait! Serp! Is that AWOL Nation? Yeah. But he sounds just like Pastor Troy.

I will tell you that. Blame it on my ADD, baby! Is that emo? No. I don't know what that is. That's like new metal emo. That's whatever Imagine Dragons is. Who is the one who sings?

So a serpentine draft, David, since you're wondering. Oh, you wrote it down? You got to cross your legs and read it out of your notepad on your phone for me? Well, I'm actually, I'm going to go calm it down in there. Yo, he's looking through notes. Yo, he's juicing. I received a suggestion. He's juicing.

I received a suggestion today from a fan who came out to one of the shows in Portland, one of the Canadian shows. Corinne, thank you so much. I was thrilled to meet you. And I'm thrilled. She said she had a suggestion.

I told her I would love to use it. Good to hear. Yeah, here we go. So from Corinne, let's say you make queso for your best friend, right? And they have an ongoing argument about which corn chips are better, Juanita's or Carmen's. Juanita it's glorious. Then you think, you know what? I think I need more cheese on my chip. So you switch to the Carmen's

to really utilize the structural integrity. It's really tight. So you have to add more chip. You have to add more cheese to your chip, but you just can't hang with the blend. You have to learn how to read. You have to learn how to read. He already admitted he doesn't read.

Everybody knows I'm bad at this who listens, by the way. Sean, you're doing great. everybody knows I'm bad at this who listens by the way so I'm really trying Corinne and now I'm at cardboard texture so you take one more dip of the extra cheesy bite you take one more extra cheesy bite and then you switch back to the salty perfect

Juanita's chips for your next bite you get the idea hot cheese forever oh yeah now that wasn't so much Corinne you get the idea hot cheese forever the only thing that would have made that wasn't so much, Corinne. You get the idea. Hot cheese forever. The only thing that would have made that better is if you stood up while you read it.

You might as well have old cross-legged phone reading. I'm surprised I didn't take the mic outside so nobody could look at me. Probably would have been the better move. I am sweating more now. Sean, you did a really good job. Doing stand-up in front of thousands of people. I'm sweating more now than that.

Sean, it's not your fault. No, I i know i love that you haven't seen that movie i don't know what movie you're talking about i'm repeating what my therapist says to me great will hunter oh anybody think of that before those aren't my apples yeah yeah yeah it's like slightly different you know the best part of that island done to you she She said, those aren't my apples. Those aren't my apples. These ain't my apples. Hang on, I'm going to get it. They're not my kind of apples. Nope.

They're hers. Not my kind of apples. What are you looking at? Apples? Oh my God, it's so close. Let's just let her circle it here, though. Look at these apples. You get one?

Yeah. These apples. It feels like these apples. If it were a dart game, you're far from the bullseye. Those apples. What do you think of those apples? I'm getting it. These apples. It feels like these apples. If it were a dart game. Those apples. What do you think of those apples? Everyone's screaming at me in their cars. No, I think you can get it.

You're so close. What do you think of those apples? You're getting closer. What about, what are these apples? But now you weren't on an island. You're a backstreet bull. A little less. How about them apples?

Yeah. I knew it. I knew she'd get there. Now how did that island thing cue it? Because it was too proper and weird. She said, how do you like these apples, sir? I picked them in my orchard. Apples, apples. David, that makes sense to me.

That's why we connected. Thank you. Hard weather we're having on the island, isn't it? So knowing that's what a serpentine draft is, what will the order of today's draft be? I had it, and then I tried to do the apples thing, and now I don't know where my brain is. Okay, I'm going to go first,

and then Ian's going to go second. And then David's going to go third, and then Sean's going to go fourth. Hot corner. Time to shake some dust off the board. I like it. There might be a little dust on the bottom. Let's see what happens.

I haven't not been on a hot corner in a minute. I don't know if I've ever gone first. Shit. Maybe once. Today you are, because with the first pick in the All Fantasy Everything Birds draft. Birds. Birds. Me Albreto, you are on the clock.

But first, a short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country, you figure it out from there, but this isn't the talented Mr.

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quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com. Man, we're back. Man, we're back. Man, we're back. Mielle, it's time for you to make your first pick in the birds, all fantasy, everything draft. Birds. Are we going to clarify any of this before we start?

No. No, we better not. No, we're not. Okay. I'll clarify it. Birds. Okay. Well. Birds. I don't it. Birds. Okay. Wow.

Birds. I don't know why I did this to myself. I didn't want it. I didn't want this. Okay. I'm just going to say my craziest one first that I don't think anyone was going to take. Don't? All right.

Because why? Because I'm different. I'm not like the other girls. Yeah, I'm different. I pulled up to the... God, what's a bird sanctuary called? I pulled up to the estuary with my seal of mystery.

It's an aviary. Would have been a lot tighter. An estuary is like a wetland, right? Damn it. They used to call me the estuary. Yeah, baby. They did. Estuary under there.

Before you moved to the valley, I bet they did. I want the shoebill stork. You motherfucker! Are you serious? God fucking damn it. I bet they did. I want the shoebill stork. Oh! Motherfucker! Are you serious? God fucking damn it! I also had it on the list.

God fucking damn it! I also had it. Yeah, baby! We all fucking jacked right now. I got one! Someone else got one! What is... Floating! What?

She's floating! She's floating! Have you seen him? Yeah. Have you seen him? That shit looks like right out of my nightmare. That's why I want it. I want it to be on my team.

Oh, it looks like the harbinger of bad, bad news. They got big beaks. Every single one looks like they have killed and will kill again. And the way they move is so scary. They're fucking dinosaurs. Yeah. They're 100% dinosaur. Most things scare the shit.

They look like they're supposed to talk. You know it's supposed to. Like they're supposed to talk. Yeah, and you know what they sound like? Hey, you want to give me money? Me, L. Give me a couple dollars or I'll fucking kill you. Look at this fucking thing.

I've seen it. It was on my list. Yeah. I feel like- It'll- I wrote down a note. Dang. They hunt-

Little bird, what are you doing in this estuary? Maybe that's what they sound like. Or maybe they say, hey, give me $1. Why would this bird want money? I don't know. You don't know what that bird's doing? It only wants $1. It only wants $1.

They're scarier than that. It's just got a voice. It's not smart. Give me $1. You try to give it $20 and they're like, how do you like it then? People talk them how to talk. I hope so hope I would like one. They are the enemy of every Autobahn

society based only on my opinion. Oh, God damn it. Look at that ominous picture. I know that thing looks like it would be like on the island with Dr. Moreau. Yes, but it would win. Yeah. So for those listening at home, they're like they're gray and

they got these big fucking beaks and they look scary. Bernie Sanders. Yeah, it? So for those listening at home, they're gray, and they got these big fucking beaks, and they look mad. It's like scary Bernie Sanders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like big, beefy, scary Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders. I wrote down a note. They hunt longfish, snakes, and even baby crocodiles using their enormous bills to crush

their prey in a single bite. Sounds like our president. If that's not the fucking nail in the coffin, I don't know what is. You know what I mean? I finished it. It's over for him. I think we swung a lot of people today. It's important on podcasts to tackle the issues.

Yeah, you got to be. We got to be. Which birds are the best? Yeah. That's, you know. I mean, clearly it was the shoebill. The shoebill stork comes in at number one. I really thought I was going to be able to get it.

No. When a bird looks like that, you know, it's a hot commodity. Yeah. People know about it. Yeah. Yeah. People know about the big freak. It's really exciting.

That bird has caught a little heat on Twitter recently, you know. Why? Why? Not like bad. It's not getting canceled. Did it get canceled? No. We canceled the shoebill

struck for one wait what does it say about relationship to humans does it eat us that's none of your business that's none of your business I don't know that's none of your damn business

and I'll thank you to stay out of this personal affairs is it like a Bernie or bus the species is considered to be one of the five most desirable birds in Africa

by ornithologists there are Egyptian images depicting the shoebill while the Arabs referred to the bird as Abu Makrub. Pardon me, Abu Markub, which means one with a shoe.

A reference to the bird's bill. The voice, the shoebill is normally silent, but they perform bill clattering displays at the nest. For one dollar. They utter a cow-like moo as well as high-pitched whines. Of course they do.

I love this bird more. So why did it get canceled on Twitter? It didn't. No, they've just been, just because it's like. People saw it and were freaking out. That's where I got it. Yeah. When it was birds, that was the first thing that popped in my head was that tweet.

Once it starts moving around, it looks very scary. As we all know. I don't like it at all. I just saw one once, an exhibit, and it intrigued me. You were an interesting child. I'm not afraid of birds. No birds scare me. I would tell you a bird

story, but it would spoil some pics. Man, I'll punch a bird. No, never! I'm not going to let that shoe bill run up on me. Look at that thing. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I hate it. Thing is gnarly looking. Yeah, it's perfect and beautiful. I got the big, big Africa. Okay. Africa. Central Africa. Yeah, dude.

Shoe bills. Excellent first pick. And it's time for my first pick all right this is the most excited i've ever been for a draft it's time for my first pick and listen there's a lot of flashy birds there are a lot of flashy birds yeah but if i had to pick the bird i appreciate most don't the bird that has affected my life more than any other don't you dare what are you doing i'm gonna'm going to take a chicken. Oh, okay. Yeah.

I didn't see that coming. Chickens are birds, and we've got to give it up for the fucking chicken. Now, I know you are a vegan. You won't eat a chicken. So anyway, I give it up the most for chickens. You do give it up the most. You could pick it up.

You could cuddle it. They're still fluffy. The chicken, you know, the burp is like an iconic noise. Okay, wait. Is this not a chicken? is like an iconic noise. Okay, wait, is this not a chicken? I'll tell you what. Okay, wait, should we all do

a chicken impression? Yeah, all right. Me, I'll go. That's when they're like chilling in the roost. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Sean.

Oh my God. That's scary. Pretty good. That's when my grandpa hasn't fed him for a while. I've killed a lot of them. Chicken death rattle. That's good. That's good. It comes from the jowls, right?

That chicken's seen some shit. Everybody's face looks... You should see if they're making a Babe Six or something. Get in on that. Mom! Are they making a babe six or something. Get in on that. Mom! Are they making a babe six? Nah. The babe six.

Fuck. Babe six. That's too many babes. That's a lot of babes. That's a lot of babes. So why a chicken? What do you want the chicken to do for you? We're not making armies.

I don't know. Wait, come here. What do you want the chicken to do for you? None of not making armies. I don't know. What do you want the chicken to do for you? None of my birds are going to be doing nothing for me. What is your strategy on drafting? I just like chickens. Yeah, chickens are dangerous. You just want to hang out with one?

Yeah, yeah. Okay. I think they're cool. I like eggs. I had eggs for breakfast today. I like eating chicken. Chicken wings are my favorite food. Oh, dog.

I knocked down a bunch of wings in the air fryer over at the town. See? He's got an air fryer at the town home. You have an air fryer, David. It's great. Who have you become? That air frying dude. I like David 2.0. That air frying dude.

I got an air fryer. I got an air fryer and a rug. Who wants to get married? I have become that air frying dude. I have a question. Go on. I promise this isn't supplemental vegan messaging. I'm actually curious.

If you befriended a chicken, could you still kill it? No. I couldn't kill one that I was enemies with. I believe that you could. You did mention killing them a moment ago. I could let someone kill it and I'd eat it. I've lived in the space where animals were food and I've accepted it as a part of it. Have you actually done it?

Yeah, I've killed like seriously like a hundred plus chickens. Do you actually done it? Yeah, I've killed like, seriously, like a hundred plus chickens. Do you pluck the feathers out and everything? No, my grandma usually did it, but sometimes I would, yeah. Oh my god. So can you even see chickens as friends anymore? I mean, yeah, I don't know, that's just, it was what you gotta

do to eat. I mean, it wasn't like, yeah. I don't know. Didn't Dashboard write a song about that? So kiss me hard! Cause this will be the last time that I'll let you This chicken's so yummy that I might kill it So watch me kill it And then I'll grill it And this you would prefer For me

Yeah, that's the song. That's the one I was thinking of. Hands down, this is the best bird I have ever eaten. Ever eaten. Oh, sorry, I was coming in for the harmony. I'm sorry.

You guys kill it. Chickens, dude, like I didn't see it coming either. It's a good pick. I had to take it first. It is the most important bird in the world. I agree. And I think that without human interference, they don't exist in the wild. That could be wrong.

That could be wrong. They don't seem like they're going to be getting it done out there. Yeah, I don't think they exist. No, they do. If you go to Kauai. But they escaped domestic, right? They escaped domestic, yeah. But they're feral.

Is there a wild chicken pre-domesticating? There must be. Did we make this species up? have so many questions i don't know guinea fowls probably is what they're like evolved from right yeah which i can say but you just blew a pit which i can say please don't tweet at me about chickens i don't actually care chickens are canceled uh i yeah i just fucking love chickens. I think they're wonderful. I also just enjoy their company. If I'm on a farm with some chickens running around, like, look at these fucking idiots.

Chickens are cancelled. Tell me if I'm wrong. Go on. Don't you a little bit have a dream of owning some property and having some chickens? Yes. Hard. Yes. Big time. Would love that. Getting eggs every morning. It's an active dream. Yeah. No roosters. I don't want to be woken up.

Just a lot of hens. You could buy my grandfather's house for about 20 grand and all his chickens. Is it in Oregon? It is not. No, thank you. Sean, take a seat. It is. So, chickens.

This is my first pick. David, boy. Ah, well. I'm going to tell the truth. This bird means a lot to me i'm going with daffy duck a celebrity celebrity bird yeah yeah man i wasn't expecting it i was fully expecting that now it's open up the now it's open up the door a little bit oh yeah you just said bird it's true so daffy Duck is fully in play. Talk to us, talk us through this pick.

He's just like... Have you thought of him? His spirit is very much like mine in that it's like, ah man, fuck you. Yeah. That's his whole thing. You do have a bit of a Daffy Duck guy.

Yeah, that's his whole... Except you're winning and he was very rarely winning. He was, but that's how I feel. That's how i feel in my heart is like daffy duck and just that like nah man fuck you bugs yeah man fuck you elmer fudd everyone dude did he have any allies i don't think so he was kind of like because he knew everybody else was on some bullshit there was sean and ian duck but they weren't in the cartoons yeah they weren't in the cartoons those were just his, those were

his good, good friends that he was thankful to have come across in his duck life. Yeah. Yeah, but they were like back, you know, back at the crib. Sean and Ian Duck, dude, those dudes rule. But yeah, man, and like he was getting shot in the face, but he'd always be like, and he was like kind of annoying and not that cool, and it's like, I don't know, man,

I just like that guy. Well, I can't co-sign that now because you're not annoying and you are cool, but I see what you're saying. He was the one that was like suffering suck-a-tache. That was Sylvester. Fuck. Yeah, that was the cat. Who's the fucking duck? Daffy Duck, I cannot get the voice. It's like, you know. Did he have a lisp? Surely you know this means war.

Oh, yeah, there you go. That's really good. That was a thing. Immediately. This means war. That wasn't Mel Blanc in the studio. Did you have us draft birds? Man of a thousand voices. What are you fucking talking about? Shoebell. Shoebell?

You just said Shoebell. You motherfucker. Shoebell. Moonlight Graham. Shoebell. the fucking shoe bill moonlight grounds okay so you want the annoying guy because it's representation for us annoying people no it's not even that it's just this like he took everybody to task man yeah yeah and i appreciate it not even a two ball buster just to be like man fuck convention man like a non-conformist. Yeah. Daffy was going to do Daffy regardless. Daffy was only ever going to do Daffy.

Was he a black duck? Black duck, yeah. Black duck, orange bill. Have you ever seen one of those? Oh, yeah. Black duck, yeah. Okay. I stand corrected. Lot in D.C. Really? Wow. You guys play that however you want to play it.

I just left it out there. I just leave it. Does this mean ducks are now off the table? No. He's a pretty specific duck. Yeah. Okay. Just curious about the rules of this. He's for sure a specific duck. Yeah, he's for sure a specific duck. Yeah. Okay. Just curious about the rules of this.

He's for sure a specific duck. Yeah, he's for sure a specific duck, dude. Also a Pacific duck. That's the next company we start after. After Future Flavors. Or Juice Futures. Or Juice Futures. Juice Futures and Specific Duck Socks?

Yeah. I got Juice Futures, Sweatpants, Specific Duck Socks. Both of them are playing at Bumbershoot with us. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Are they in the main thing? I'm saying Juice Futures is like a legit something. I don't know what it is, but it is.

No, Juice Futures is, it's too good of a name. Yeah, it is. Juice Futures, bro. Sean, time for your first pick. Juice Futures, attorney at law. This is my, this is Juice, and of course I'm Futures. Plural. Don't say another word to that cop.

We'll be taking it from here. Don't you dare. Officer, you know what you did. I'll be taking it from here. Don't you dare officer. You know what you did. I'll be taking juice and getting out of here in the future. Mobile. First pick. I'm going hummingbirds.

They can fly backwards, bro. That's about all I needed. And they look like little jewels. They do. They're beautiful. They seem like they're on drugs. They're really territorial. I didn't really, I didn't jewels. They do. They're beautiful. And they seem like they're on drugs. I think they're really territorial.

I didn't really see a lot of those growing up. I saw a grip when I moved to Oregon. We didn't have a bunch in South Dakota. Yeah, the jewel of the Pacific Northwest has them in spades. Yeah, we have plenty of hummingbirds. Oh, Washington? Yeah, we have a lot. Quite a few. Oregon, clearly, I was referring to. Weird that you keep saying that. Top of the

food chain. Their hearts beat over a thousand times a minute. Mine, too, weird. You keep saying that. Top of the food chain. Their hearts beat over a thousand times a minute. Mine too, though. Yeah. Well, you're the hummingbird of the living room for sure. One thousand, that's slow, dude. You're definitely the hummingbird of this area. Oh, thank you.

Yeah. Yeah, I see you pecking at sugar water outside. On the neighbor's porch, just slapping a soda. Ian's just at the top of the palm tree in the front yard. You want to go to the store or do you not want to go to the store? Because I'm going to go to the store.

You want to go. I'm going to the store regardless. My heart's thumping out of my chest. If you want to come with me, that's totally fine because if you don't want to come with me, I'm still going to go anywhere. I'm going to go to Ralph's.

I'm going to go to the other aisles. I'm going to go to the fruit juice. I'm going to go to the fruit juice. I'm going to open all the fruit juice. I'm going to go to the fruit juice. You want to come? You want to come? You want to come?

I'm gone. I'm left. And then you're back already and I'm like, bro, I just got out of the shower. You need Red Bull to calm down is what you need. I drink it to calm down. Yeah, I mean, hummingbirds, they're just fantastic.

Which one's your favorite color? I don't know. I don't really have. I guess. The red ones or the green ones or the orange ones? Green. I want to say green. I've never seen an orange one.

How bright. It's like a rusty. Yeah. I bet green would be my favorite then. Yeah. Because the red is pretty bright,

but not the brightest. The ruby. If it was bright orange for days, but if it's not bright orange, you want a traffic cone orange. I would like that in a bird,

a traffic cone orange bird. It's this level of detail that got us to the top of the charts. This is why we are drafting birds. Traffic cone orange. That was a pretty good call.

Traffic cone orange. I love colors and I love birds. Hummingbirds, man. I was kind of shook when I found out they could fly backwards. Isn't it fun that we could defeat a bird? Bad food? Junk food? That's pretty fun.

Sugar water? I leave out some laced potato chips. It doesn't work. Does, for sugar water. I leave out some laced potato chips. It doesn't work for soup. Does that work? No. Yeah. Gardentos work way better. Yeah.

Yeah, I like their flight pattern. They're like really nice advanced helicopters. Yeah, that's always what I think. Like if a helicopter wasn't a fucking death trap, it'd be a hummingbird. Man, they're crazy. There's some migrating hummingbirds. The ruby-throated hummingbird can fly 500 miles.

That's too many miles. Yeah. Non-stop? Non-stop. But they can go that far forward? I mean, it just feels like a lot of little wings. And they can hover like fucking helicopters. So Laura texted me today.

She said that a hummingbird can weigh less than a nickel and fly over 3,000 miles from the Midwest to Mexico. That is a lot of power. Also, did you text Laura asking what birds you should draft? I just told her we were drafting birds. And I knew she'd get a kick out of it. She's a zoologist, so she had a bunch of facts. I didn't know that.

She actually invented zoo books. She's actually a zoologist. That's not funny. That gets me too excited to talk about it. I love zoo books on the come up i fucking love zoo books are the zoo books the one where you could look at like through or i'm thinking of the nature's field guide i used to love those books which one's the page where it has like all the information about a specific animal i think that's the nature like a three ring binder oh no no mine are like

they look they're about the size of a checkbook, but they're like five inches thick, probably. Those are the North American Field Guide to whatever. Too thick. Yeah, they're super sick, though. No such thing. Hey. Hey. Hey, huh?

If you guys can't hear. Although too thick is our regroup. But that's two. Yeah. We're the two. We're the two. T-O-O. There's two of us.

T-H-Y-C-K. And there's like Those lines Through the two Like it's a dollar sign Too thick Too thick Too thick now baby Leave alone those toothpicks

Toothpicks We're too thick Too thick Baby girl Don't you know That I've got to go Because the buffet is part of my big day

because I'm too thick too thick too thick hop up on this chubby chubby I'm not gonna What were you gonna say? What were you gonna say?

I know it's coming I know it's coming I was gonna say I was gonna say fat dick but that was it got too blue no it didn't

I was never gonna say chubby I was like hop up on this fat dick too thick you can do that too thick

yeah it's R&B Nate Dogg sings crazy stuff you can sing that oh man too thick I mean that kind of works too thick no too thick too thick everyone listening don't steal our idea don't steal it sings crazy stuff. You can sing that. Oh, man. Too thick. I mean, that kind of works. Too thick. No, too thick.

Too thick. Everyone listening, don't steal that idea. Don't steal it. I'm already designing cover art in my head and it's great. Back to back buddy cop

shirts off? Well, let's just say there's some hockey jerseys. Yeah. We're not wearing them but they're on the cover. But they're on the cover. Don't steal it.

Don't. Don't. Fuck don't, David. Too thick. Sean, can you please do me a favor? What? Can you please tell me what't. Fuck, don't, David. Too thick. Sean, can you please do me a favor? What? Can you please tell me what your next bird is? Yeah, dude.

Yeah. My next bird is going to be an owl. Fuck, what kind, though? That's a bard owl. Fuck, that's what I wanted. Bard. B-A-R-R-E-D. What?

Oh, wait, not. B-A-R-R-E-D. What? That's not what I thought you said. Bard. I don't know what that is. Like a William Shakespeare bird? An owl that I just saw in,

I've never seen an owl in real life, ever in my life. And I just saw one in Portland. We went on like an owl hunt by Lewis and Clark. And we found, we actually saw, Laura, I didn't do shit.

Laura found some owls. And there was like a whole family there. So we looked up with binoculars in the tree and there was an owl bringing like a, like a rat to its kids. It was crazy. So we saw a grown up owl and three baby owls. So that immediately made it.

We saw who? Him and Laura. Wait, so Laura identified it because she's a zoologist? See, I told you he just wants to showcase his bird impressions. He's so good at all of them. It was Laura and I. Lauraorna and i went with laura how was your mouth it took me so long to get it you didn't i didn't know what the fuck was going on and i was like i had a smile on my face but it wasn't real i hate it when i get caught with a smile on my face and then I actually get the joke

and I acted like I had gotten previously. It's like one of those, like when you talk to somebody when neither of you speak the same language and you're both just like. Or me, anytime I hang out with you three and you start referencing some shit, I don't know what you're talking about. Or like when we're singing the toothpick song.

Can you please show me what this bird looks like? Toothpick. Toothpick. Hey there. Get up off that toothpick toothpick it's like when you think of an owl yeah i mean it's your it's your textbook like also known as a hoot owl and also i got to see it so we got there hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot Who dat, who dat, who dat trying to get up in my crew? Who dat, oh! Okay, anyways.

We got there and I saw the owl fly from the river up to a tree, which was pretty cool. I got to see it actually fly a little bit. You don't see them fly a lot. Oh, you don't see them fly a lot. One of these daytime owls? This was deep dusk. Yeah, that's those ones. Nice.

This was like 8.45 on the PM end of it. That's so good. Yeah. Hey guys, listeners at home, pretend that this is just outside of it. That's so good. Yeah. You guys, listen at home. Pretend that this is just outside right now. Ready? Someone do crickets. Does anyone do a cricket noise?

Yeah, perfect. Jesus. What the fuck, dude? I mean, hire us, Holly. Who is that? Who's that? Who's that? There's a goblin out there. Oh, no.

It's one of those haunted woods. Wait. Is that a shoe-billed stork? Oh, that's a shoe-bill. Is he asking for a dollar? Don't give him one. Oh, no. Sean's out there, too.

This is a crazy episode. I'm watching The Notebook on my laptop. Oh, my God. Oh no, Sean's out there too. This is a crazy episode. I'm out there watching The Notebook on my laptop. It's now a radio show. It's now a radio show? Yeah, it's an old-timey radio show. I didn't know you could do crickets like that. Yeah, man. Did you just find that out or did you know that?

No, I've not been on that. This is a skill of yours, animal impressions. Can we do it again? Pretty sick, dude. Coming next on the colgate comedy hour yeah uh the bard the bard immigrant tries to eat a potato hey can i have this potato no get the fuck out of here man that's here man simple radio back before it all got

PC social justice warriors I just want to make Eastern Europeans eat stuff they're not comfortable with next on the Colgate comedy hour

an Irish tries to enter a bank hey can I can I deposit these potatoes get out of here you didn't even do an accent?

What kind of radio hour is this? Is this like a three in the morning? I already said Colgate, it's not Crest. That's a pretty rough one. We don't have Crest money. All right, how much can I get? Can I get any gold for these potatoes? Get out of this bank, you Irish! And don't come back, see?

Well, I won't, because I don't have any money and I never will am I right alright alright yeah yeah yeah please tell me what your next bird is oh yeah David

don't be a second pick you're not the host I am I'm just excited for the birds I like Miel Carmel over here I just really want to hear more about birds oh Miel Carmel would be your name we have to get married

either we got married or my dad adopted you either one I'm okay with it. I would be happy with either scenario. Do you want to be married or brother? We'll hash it out off the air. Wildly different.

They both have their benefits. How often does that question get popped up? I ask my brother all the time. You are from an island. Do you want to keep it like this? Have you ever thought of anything more than brother and sister? Like I know we're

bro and sis but like We have all the same references It would just be so easy You already know my parents You already look like me It's like I'm familiar Wait you already look like me You know I like how you date people that look like you.

Everyone does that. No, I don't do that. Everyone does that. That's why Whoopi Goldberg and I got married. And then you did blackface at her roast. Oh, yeah. Me and Ted dancing. Did he do that at her roast?

Oh, yeah. Holy buckets. Oh, man. Yeah, man. The dancing machine. So anyways, I'm taking. Too thick. I think we should get in the studio on that one. I think, dude, I've been going to the studio all the time. Let's go to the studio. All anyways, I'm taking too thick. I think we should get in the studio on that.

I think, dude, I've been going to the studio all the time. Let's go to the studio. All right, cool. Up in the studio. What are you going to pick? Sorry. Oh, I'm going to pick the okay, this one you might not let me take. I'm going to take the popular touchdown celebration, the dirty bird. The Atlanta Hawks. No, I know

exactly what it is. the Atlanta Hawks I know exactly what it is it was so great I loved it so much yeah I'm letting it go I'm on the dirty bird you okay with it? I mean I'm okay with it

it was beloved if you didn't watch football it was beloved why would you say I didn't watch football? you don't think I played blitz? I don't know I played Blitz? I don't know. I don't know how to answer that question. You don't think I played Blitz? I honestly have no idea the answer to this question. Okay, no, keep going. Did you ever play Blitz, David?

Of course I played Blitz. Alright, dude. Did you help Mary every single time? I played Blitz. You did not. No, I didn't. As a man, I've Blitzed. Hey guys, tonight should we get blazed and play Blitz? Were there any? I know you're joking, but yeah. Okay, great guys, tonight should we get blazed and play Blitz? Were there any? I know you're joking, but yeah.

Okay, great. We're going to get blazed and play Blitz. Sorry, so tell me more about your dance. Maybe order some blintzes? Were there any? Big, big blueberry blintzes. Do you guys want to get some blintzes, get blazed and play Blitz? What is a blintz?

Some big, big blueberry blintzes and blintz. They talk about it on Austin Powers. That's the only time I've ever heard the word blintz. It's like a crate. It's when the line bracket rushes the line. No, that's a blintz. He's talking about a blintz. Blint like a crepe. It's when the lime bracket rushes the lime. No, that's a blintz. He's talking about a blintz. Blintz like a tiny pancake?

Pipe it a crepe? It's a small, it's a small, yeah, crepe was the most similar. Wait, blintz is the one that's like a pancake

and has caviar on top? That's a blini. That's a blini. I don't know what a blintz is. A blintz is a crepe. Crepe. It's like a rolled up. Burrito.

A crepe. Breakfast burrito. It's a tiny, sweet breakfast burrito. Perfect. Taquito, but, sweet breakfast burrito. Perfect. Taquito, but not fried. Breakfast. Anyway.

I love it. Did you guys, when you played football, ever know anybody like a real life Tim Riggins who would show up drunk or hungover? Did that ever happen for real? Justin Bystrom played stone one time. I didn't know anyone. Incredible. I didn't know anyone who played drunk.

Okay. It was like, you see it here at Red and White Football. You smell like whiskey. You puke. I get my dude shit everywhere. People who played drunk. Okay. It was like you see in Friday Night Lights where they're like, you smell like whiskey. And you're like, I get my dude shit everywhere. People played hungover. Yeah, for sure. I played football hungover. But you puke.

I think I would puke. It would suck playing drunk. It seems like it would be awful. It seems because you're all uncoordinated. It'd be the worst. And the guys hate you so hard. It'd be like if I were playing sober. That's about what it was like.

Yeah. The dirty boy. It'd be like if I were playing sober. That's about what it was like. Yeah. The dirty bird. It's fist up, fist in, fist up, fist in. Switch hands. Bird. Wing, bird. Yeah. But then there's also a foot shuffle to it.

Like it's a very simple foot shuffle. The Atlanta Falcons did it in what, the late 90s? Yeah, I think it was the late 90s. Early 2000s. It was just so cool every time they hit it, dude. Are you still allowed to do that kind of celebration? You are finally allowed to do it. More than ever, yeah.

They really loosen the restrictions on end zone dance. Because you couldn't for a long time. You couldn't really do a whole thing. And now you can do whatever. Which I'm all for. I'm all for celebrations. That's insane that people couldn't do it. I mean, that's stupid. Do you spend your whole fucking life

dedicated to one thing and then you do it well? I think you should be allowed to celebrate it. We should be able to do everything. We talked about this on the pilot episode of the show we made. Even the best players might only score less than 100 touchdowns. You should be allowed to just have a second. Maybe, I don't know, like 400 of them.

And it's hilarious. It's maniacal. They want people to watch. Yeah, you should be allowed to just have a second. Yeah, just fucking have a second. Maybe, I don't know, like 400 of them. And it's hilarious. Maniacal. It's so like. Well, they want people to watch. No, it's that whole shut up and play shit. Yeah, I know. I don't want to see you have fun. Be happy to be there.

Yeah, fuck you, man. This is a job. But if you want people to tune in and spectators and things, I want to see. That's what I want to see. I want to see people fucking go nuts and do a fun. Yeah, or LeBron and his son play together on the Lakers, whatever. I do want that.

I do want that. I hate the Lakers, but I can't wait for that. I don't care if he's bad. I want to see it. Yeah, me too. He's just 41. Just want to see it. And he sucks, and his son.

And Bronny's 20. Yeah. Just want to see it. Bronny's great, though. He is great. I was going to say he sucks because his dad was LeBron, but he's not. He owes me $50. LeBron James Jr. does?

Yeah. Why? He owes you 50 bucks? He needs to pay me. Go knock on his door. He needs to pay me. $1 at a time, like a shoebill stork. does? Yeah. Why? He has $50. He needs to pay me. Go knock on his door. He needs to pay me $1 at a time like a shoebill stork. I'm done. I'm done talking.

The Dirty Bird. Time for my second pick. Unless you have anything else to say about the Dirty Bird. No, that's my second pick. With my second pick, I'm going to take a bird that routinely kills. No. Sure. The cassowary. Who? I don't even know what that is. Second pick, I'm going to take a bird that routinely kills. No. Sure.

The cassowary. Who? I don't even know what that is. I got to look that up. I did. It's a pretty one. Is that where? Is it that hotel song?

Oh, girl, you want to come to my hotel? No. What? What? I'm thinking of Cassidy the Rat. Cassowary. I'm standing in the club in my b-boy stance. I got that hoodie on in my hands. I'm fresh to death.

Yeah, yeah. I'm fresh to death. That one Cassidy album was great. I hate this. They look like emus, kind of. Yeah, yeah. What? Careful.

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry. But they are a large flightless bird with a head crest and a big fucking like fuck you up toenail. And they like one just killed somebody in Florida. It's actually not a head crest and a big fucking like fuck you up toenail and they like one just killed somebody in Florida.

It's actually not a head crest. It's one of those Travis Pastrana biker helmets that they got. Stop. It's like a metal militia helmet

they're wearing. Yeah. Yeah. Just to protect their brains. A tiny bird sized Travis Pastrana. Yeah, it's like

one of those helmets with a mohawk on it. Travis Pastrana helmet. Or Matt Hoffman. God, dude, one of these killing you would be the worst.

Cassowary attack. Giant bird kills owner in Florida after he fell. That's what you get for owning a bird. April 14th this year. It just happened. This says, despite their regal look, they can be very dangerous, able to charge up to 30 miles per hour. I don't know why you gotta throw the word despite in there. Regal people have killed

more people than anyone. Oh my god, you're so right. Honestly, snaps for that, Ian. Thank you very much. Royalty's canceled. Yeah, it's off. You guys want to know... It's fucking off. I'm going to try to be a pretty honest boy on here. You want to know how I just spelled cassowary when I looked it up? Yeah. You don't have to tell us. Casserole. I'm choosing to.

Castle White Castle. C-A-S-S-U-A-W-A-R-Y. So I put a U-A where there's a O. Not bad. I can see that being the way. That's pretty close. I'll be honest, I didn't spell it right. Not bad. I can see that being the way. That's pretty close. I'll be honest. I didn't spell it right the first try when I was looking it up earlier. Yeah, they are buck looking. Holy cow.

I know. They're gnarly. It's the deadliest bird on the planet. What if one of those was just in your tent? You'd be like, all right, I don't want to stay here anyways. It sucks. See, I would though.

I'd be like, can we be friends? It doesn't want to be friends. It's a cassowary. With me? I didn't think about that part. With me, Elle? I better want to be friends with me. I didn't think about that part. With me. L. I better want to be friends with you.

I didn't think about that part. Yeah. They're fucking gnarly. A flightless bird is always interesting to me because they got to be gnarly. Why? Oh, right. Because it's only on the land. During World War Two, American and Australian troops stationed in New Guinea were warned

to steer clear of them because they were driving Australian tanks because they figured out how to use guns. Stay away from the cassowaries. They're fighting their own war. They are loaded with a lot of firearms. Watch out. They make grenades. The first documented human death caused by a cassowary was on April 6th, 1926 in Australia. 16 year old Philip McClain and his brother, age 13, came across a cassowary on their property and decided to try to kill it by striking it with clubs. They deserved that. I mean, they were looking for it.

The bird kicked the younger boy who fell and ran away as his older brother struck the bird. The older McClain then tripped and fell to the ground. Then the cassowary kicked him to death. Jeez. Honestly, he kind of deserved it, kid. Don't fucking hurt an animal. That's fucking awesome.

That's instant irony. What? Is that the word I wanted? Whoa. No. Okay. This is like a sad story, but like a cassowary kicked a dog to death? Okay, now I'm off board.

In 1995? You can't. No, that's the nature of, that's just how that goes. Without puncturing it. It just kicked it so hard that it literally turned a bleeding. Oh my God. Jeez, dude. Dude, cassowaries. but you can't no that's the nature of that's just how that goes without puncturing it it just kicked it so hard oh my god dude cassowaries don't fuck with a cassowary movie thai shit anyway they are big in the movie thai universe i knew that i've heard that for my days in taekwondo that got me saying it wrong now taekwondo how did you say it taekwondo i did just i accidentally did

it like that i don't know what's right taekwondo right because i'm the one who was in? Taekwondo? I did just, I accidentally did it like that. I don't know what's right. It's Taekwondo, right? I'm the one who was in it. Taekwondo. Too thick. Too thick. Too thick. Too thick.

Sean. Oh, nope. Neal, time for your second and third picks. Brito. Okay, ready? I'm going to fuck it up. I'm going to take the superb bird of paradise. Oh, yeah.

I had to look it up what it was called, but I did fall in love with it on planet Earth and I did need it to be on my roster of whatever kind of birds this is ending up to be. I honestly can't explain myself. It's that black one. Yeah, that's the one that hops around. And it really fans out. And it's got that black one. Yeah, that's the one that hops around. And it really fans out.

And it's got that neon blue. It's got a crazy hat thing. Yeah, and it looks straight up. And its face disappears into this ebony featherscape. And then there's this vibrant blue stripe. If I'm wearing a turtleneck, I can do a very similar thing. I'd just stand above you, though. But yeah, I like to see that.

It plops right in. Just hopping side to side but covering a lot of ground doesn't it make crazy noises too or does it do a crazy dance does it crazy dance I remember the dance I don't remember the noises

we watched the planet earth I think we did a watch along with that very bird up in it that's not the one that can like mimic other sounds is it that's a different I don't think so

yeah I don't think so that's an Ian Carmel because he had all his impressions it's so funny it's funny the vulmel. Because he had all his impressions. It's so funny. It's funny. The vulgar cop,

superb bird of paradise. I just think it's, I just want a bird that can groove, you know? Yeah. This one can groove. It turns into a disc and it fucking grooves. Oh, it grooves.

It's like a real life transformer. The color's crazy too. I wish more animals were just like outlandish colors like that. Was it like that teal, bluish kind of thing? Yeah, it's that teal? It's got teal, yeah And birds pull that shit off all the time But you never see an elephant

If you did, if an elephant could just make their ears Stick straight out And they just turn bright red or something That'd be terrifying Can you please ask Laura for me The colors of an animal are determined by It's surroundings, so are the most colorful animals Like in the rainforest?

I don't I mean we could you know I could ask you later guess it does seem like it does seem like it's based on which animals

we know and where they live but with birds and a lot of these I think it's to attract mates so they're like look at me I'm fucking shiny as fuck

or whatever it's like cool sneakers yeah it's like gold chains for birds okay this makes sense the tiny little animals seem like they're brighter too

because they need to seem more intimidating or something but wouldn't they also be easier to spot listen I don't understand nature and I won't pretend to I don't either you can tell by what I just said

you're engaged to a zoologist I'm working on it you're not engaged yet what are you doing she's in rice Marissa bleep everything I said air horns She doesn't listen. You're engaged in

air horns. I'm so sorry. Damn, son. When are you going to get engaged? Damn, son. When are you going to make it official? Damn. Damn, son. She's been waiting a long time. Damn, son. I'm sweating again now

It's been kind of a dry spell as far as weddings go For a group of friends That's true man I'm trying to get my boogie on That'll be one Boogie oogie oogie oogie Backyard Get your boogie on

I'll DJ it I'll 3J it They'll perform Too Thick for it Oh David and I will perform Too Thick get your boogie on. I'll make you a cake. Yeah. I'll free Jay it. You'll free Jay it? Yeah. They'll perform Too Thick for it. Oh, David and I will perform Too Thick. Yeah, Too Thick will perform it.

That'll be our coming out show. Too Thick will perform and then DJ set. Yeah. Too Thick will debut. The only way I'm letting Too Thick perform is if all three original members are there. So Shane's got to agree to sing.

Shane's not kissing a brick girl. He's the understudy. It's not three thick. No, it's called Yeah, it's too thick. Too thick slash Texas is the reason. Right?

Was that the name of his band? I don't know. That was the name of a very good band actually back in the day. God. I want to know. I'll hear that.

I'll hear you sing one of these days. Get canes that turn into swords. Oh, tooth that for sure has those. Yeah, yeah, they do. Back into canes. Yes. What's Ooh, tooth that for sure has those. Yeah, yeah, they do. Back into canes. Yes.

What's you guys going to rate for a wedding? For you? Yeah, for me. $65,000. $65,000 American and a cheese wheel. That's a $65,000. $65,000? Yeah.

That's the friends and family rate. Take it. You don't want to know what we charge J-Lo. You don't want to know. Let's just-Lo. You don't want to know. Let's just say now I'm just Jenny from the block. All right. I was saying that way before you just told me to. Zabrocks!

I'm on the six. Right? That was their train? Yeah, on the six. The superb bird of paradise. Yes. And your third bird? I'm going to go to the opposite end of the earth.

I want a motherfucking puffin. Oh, no! I want a puffin so bad. I want a puffin. I want the Atlantic puffin. That's the one I wanted. I'm sorry. It's mine now.

Great bird, bad cereal. Uh, excuse you. The peanut butter puffins are fantastic. Not for me. Not for me. What is for you? What kind of cereals do you like? There's a whole episode

I like raisin bran You immediately disqualified yourself from the conversation I like shredded wheat I like hot grape nuts I don't know I like Connie Bunches of Oats That's what's up I like Captain Crunch

I like Rudy Pebbles I'm actually getting all these. Rudy Pebbles. Rudy Pebbles, sure. I'm actually getting angry. Hot Grape Nuts? Oh, yeah. No, I'm not disagreeing with you. Hot Grape Nuts with like some raspberries and a little honey. We're going to be performing it at your wedding, so you better get used to it.

Yeah, I hope you're ready for these Hot Grape Nuts. Hot Grape Nuts. You're going to consummate to Hot Grape Nuts. How about that? I just think they're so fucking cute. I went to Iceland and I went to this beach where like nobody's around. I did. Of course.

Did you fly from New York? Yeah. Direct. David, we've already had this conversation. We may have had it on air. I don't remember. Yeah,

that's true. But in any case, I went to this like kind of remote beach and I just sat there not even trying to see a puffin. And then I did see a puffin and they're really shy and it was hiding in the cliff walls and I had to sit there quietly for it to peep its head out and then went right back in and it felt like it was just for me.

You know, what'd you name it? I didn't name it because it's its own creature and it should name itself Ronaldo, but I did secretly call it Ronaldo. Yeah, Ronaldo. I only told you in that I did tell him in confidence and I am upset. He said, I'm so sorry about that. So will you go ahead and drop? When is Sean getting married over there?

You know, drop Sean being married over that. That's the new air horns. It's Sean. Just like I'm getting married. I'm trying. I just make this whole episode an air horn. Yeah.

Two hours. Uh huh. Do puffins. Are they alone by themselves creatures? Like there was not like a group of puffins? I think they're like in colonies.

Yeah, they're in colonies. Okay. You know, you remember that the Star Wars movie where there were those weird Porgs. Yeah, Porgs.

Yeah. They added Porgs because the puffin, that island they shot it on had a puffin colony on it. Okay. And so they put Porgs over where the puffins were. I call my it had a puffin colony on it. Okay. And so they put porgs over where the puffins were.

I call my townhouse the puffin colony. Smoke weed. You should get that on a plaque. You smoke weed in there. I get it. The puffin colony. That could be

Too Thick's third album. Could be sex. Could be sex. Too Thick. Too Thick the puffin colony. Too Thick live at the puffin colony? That's our,

that's our, they did a residency at the puff Colony. That's our... They did a residency at the Puffin Colony. That's our experimental album, right? Yeah, that's when we get weird. That summer you went to India, you come back and we do the Puffin Colony. It's your Sgt. Pepper.

We were on ayahuasca for a lot of it. Too Thick Live at the Puffin Colony. We left the barfing on the album. Left the barfing on the album. Left the barfing on the album. You ruined so many mics. Big ol' hot bowl of grape nuts. Baby, baby, baby, big ol' hot bowl of you. You and me and a big ol' hot bowl of grape nuts.

Baby, baby, baby, big ol' hot bowl of grape nuts. Baby, baby, baby, big ol' hot bowl. You and me. Yeah. Can't you see when I want something to fill up my belly? There's only one dessert for me. Hot bowl of grape nuts. It's a hot bowl of grape nuts. Big ol' hot bowl of grape nuts. It's a hot bowl of great nuts. Big old hot bowl

of great nuts. It's a big old hot bowl of you and me. Baby, baby, baby. This is not a song. It's a fucking song. Too Thick is real. Featuring Ashanti.

Too Thick never died as far as I'm concerned. Was that a Tupac joke? I wouldn't call it a joke. It's a theory is what I'd say. When David gets back to the bathroom, that's why I sang that song for so long, but I'm going to get him on the track too. Yeah, well, I mean he's in the band. He's got to be on the track. David, I wrote a scratch track for Big Ol' Hot

Bowl of Grape Nuts. It's the final. It's the final. Big Ol' Hot Bowl of Grape Nuts. It's the final. It's the final. Big ol' hoppo the grape nuts. He bailed again. Big ol' hoppo, you and me. So whenever you come back, we're going to lay that down.

Alright. Filibustering. Filibuster parfait. Grape nuts. Cold. I like them cold too. syrup sorry that's who's thirsty maple circle all right here we go purple circle all right here goes grape nuts one two three grape nuts oh shit big old hot bowl of grape nuts okay big old hot bowl of great nuts big old hot bowl are you and me not let too thick fall apart on this all right here we go here we go that's how they got too big old hot bowl of great nuts big old hot bowl you and me yeah see this is gonna be like

people are gonna be like they did comedy that tastes like within like four years yeah that tastes like you're telling me too thick used to taste like success right it's fucking yeah i could smell it driving home late at night with that it In a nice sedan. On the floor under there? In a nice sedan. You're driving home in a new Lexus. And you're listening to that. A Nexus. At a medium volume.

Your accord has never felt so sultry. Maybe even a little low. Blast it. Low. Yeah, yeah. The Atlantic Puffin. It's a great pick, Neil. I'll tell you. Thanks.

Time for my third pick. And with my third pick i'm going back so i went you know i started i started with a bird for for everybody and then i went to sort of a elite fighting bird and now i'm going back to a bird for everybody a bird that in my opinion no has been incorrectly maligned by everyone i thought i was gonna get it no it. No. In fact, I have a pair of shoes with it on the side right there. I thought this was going to be your first. The motherfucking rock dove, a.k.a. Le Pigeon, a.k.a.

The Dirty Bird, a.k.a. The Flying Rat, the fucking pigeon. Shithawks are flying low today, boys. I was going to pick the pigeon too because I identify with the struggle. I will tell you that. That's what I'm saying. Living in cities being dirty?

Yes, yes. They have to get it done. They have to get it no matter how they can. What happened to that boy? They're also beautiful. They're really pretty. If they're not covered in city. They're svelte.

Their physique is svelte. No, your svelte is skinny. You're thinking of Zofta. No, their necks. Their head to neck ratio is really pretty. If they're not covered in city. They're svelte. Yeah. Their physique is svelte. No, your svelte is skinny. You're thinking of zoftig. No, their necks. Their head to neck ratio is really pleasant. Yeah. Yeah. They're a big fat.

What was that word? Zoftig. Zoftig? Zoftig. You ever heard that word? Did you go to college or something? Yeah. Nah.

That's not for me, man. Yeah, sure did. I'm straight from an island. Portland State University. Nah. The Harvard of that part of Portland. Okay, so pigeons. Pigeons.

I fucking love them. I really do. I enjoy their presence anytime I'm around them. I like seeing people feed them and there's a grip of them. Tuppence. I just like. Say what? Tuppence.

What? What? Mary Poppins. Tuppence? Tuppence. What? The bird song from. Toppins. I just like, say what? Toppins. What? What? Mary Poppins. Toppins. Toppins. What? The bird song for Mary Poppins. Nah.

I don't think it's going to hit too hard with. That was a too thick B side. I thought we all were familiar with. They should be. They were in the group. I have no idea. Are we no budding you right now? Or is this a real thing for Mary Poppins?

It's a real thing for Mary Poppins. No, I don't know about it. No, that's fine. You don't need to. Pigeons, bro. Yeah, city bird. I just love them.

Anyway. I was recently pooped on by a pigeon. That's good luck. That's what I hear. How did it smell? Didn't smell it. It went into my hair, which is pretty thick. Best place for it to go.

It was pretty good. It went into my hair right under my thick best place for it to go how did it taste it was pretty good it went into my hair right onto my hot dog from 7-Eleven tasted like a normal hot dog would you eat it anyway if it did shit on your hot dog you'd wipe it off

and eat it anyway that's tricky you would that's tricky no you can't not with let him answer for himself I probably would

I can't see a world where anything shits on something I eat I probably don't yeah you can't you gotta have but if it only lands on the dog you don't wipe You gotta have some. But if it only lands on the dog, you don't wipe it off and eat it anyway?

If it only lands on the dog. If it only lands on the dog, that's what I want. The dog isn't a wipeable food. It is wipeable. It wouldn't absorb into the bread. Probably not. Okay, fine.

I was just curious. You guys, Mary Poppins, have you not seen it? That's crazy. Classic deflect. I respect it. I had a whole fight with a much older, horribly abusive boyfriend when I first moved here in which he was mad at me and then gestured at kicking a pigeon.

What? He didn't kick it, but he came like very close. And I was like, sir, sir, sir. You don't get to. I've tried. I just don't think that was a cool thing to do. No, I was like, that's very mean, sir. If I catch someone abusing a pigeon,

I will call upon my training. Oh, God. You ever catch somebody? As a kid, I spent a lot of time trying to kick pigeons. We would not have been friends, David Borey. You're not going to kick them. They're wild animals. My dog caught a pigeon once. My dog killed another bird recently. Your dog is also an animal. A chihuahua.

A chihuahua. If a chihuahua can catch it, you can catch it. That's a bad look for a pigeon, yeah. Yeah. That is. That's on the pigeon. You can kick it. You can kick it.

Even I got to say that's on the pigeon. What if a pigeon gets busted by a chihuahua? Chihuahua? Chihuahua. She has bloodlust, though, so that's on her. I'm going to cast bloodlust on the chihuahua. What chihuahua doesn't. That's a good point.

Why do they bark all the time? As far as chihuahua goes. My father was called Chiwaha. Chiwaha. Chi-quick-quick. David, it's time for your third bird. My third bird. Your third bird.

Another big bird in my life. I'm picking the pride of French Lick, Indiana. You dickhead. Larry Bird. This is exhausting. Man, you opened it up and I was going to pick that, but I did not. Did you say this is exhausting? I'm so tired. I'm so tired.

There's some bird birds on here, too. You better. It doesn't fucking sound like it. I just truthfully don't care about animals. You care about Larry Bird? You care about Larry Bird? Two Larry Bird stories. More than birds. Two Larry Bird stories that I know both have been told on this podcast before, but I will run them both

back right now. Yeah, tell that cake story. Larry Bird hurt his back. It was like an earlier season, and he had to lay up, right? And normally, he was like, you know, well, not, I mean, he would drink beers, but like normally he wouldn't eat sweets and stuff like that. But while he was

hurt, he decided he wanted to eat cake every day. I love this. He wanted cake every day. He's just like, I love cake. I'm going to eat it every day. I'm recuperating. I'm in bed.

I'm depressed. I'm going to eat this cake. But when he would order the cake, every time he ordered it, he would order a wedding cake. Yeah. Because his logic was, well, they're not going to mess up a wedding cake.

That's like the biggest cake in someone's life. So I've got this money. Every time I want cake, I'm going to order a wedding cake. So he just got a wedding cake every day and ate a wedding cake. Do you have any idea how much money he threw in the trash based on a totally incorrect assumption? He might have been getting some like Boston discounts on that cake. Oh, it was Larry Bird in Boston. You don't think he paid for any of them?

People were putting their first born kids in that cake. Bird. I don't think Larry Bird paid for mine. Also, it's called a king cake, David. He ground it up. It's fine. Yeah, man. These are cake jokes.

Is anyone out there a cake maker? I appreciate the king cake joke. It was very good. He's a cake pin. His little baby plastic baby in a king cake. Second Larry Bird story. And then I'll let you talk about your own pick unless you want to tell

no go for it go for it at the when David was talking to Larry Bird 1988 three point contest this is the best one he walks into the locker room

I think it was 88 I forget what year it was he walks in the locker room and says which one of you motherfuckers is coming in second and then walks out there

in his warm up shirt everyone else takes it off and the wing of Jersey. He leaves like a long, a short sleeve shirt on basically like a short sleeve button up and then fucking wins. Just like blows it out. And on the last one shoots it and then walks away with like a finger up.

And then it went in. Very bird. He was a real motherfucker. You need that sometimes. He's also just like a dork, you know, I don't agree with that. I'm talking like a purely that sometimes. He's also just like a dork, you know? No, I don't agree with that. He looked like a dork.

He's just ugly. He's not a dork at all. If you're ugly and really good at something, that's what a dork is. I don't know. That's literally what that means? That's what it says in the dictionary? It's more of a schizax. A dork is a word. This isn't a college word.

Are we talking dark crystal here? T-O, dark crystal. I don't think he was a dork, really. At all. At all. We are talking purely aesthetically, and I'm telling you, if you don't look at him and go,

dork, that's on you. I think that you have never listened to anything that he said. Of course I haven't, David. Why would I do that? He's really more of a motherfucker. He's a motherfucker. That's what I'm saying.

There's a diagram between dorks and motherfuckers. He's a hundred percent motherfucker. He's a motherfucker. You're telling me you see like a much-shouted man and you're like, motherfucker. Yeah. No, you go dork. Oh my God, yeah. Oh my God, yeah.

I think if you see a still image, you think dork. That's what I'm saying. If you see him in motion, you're like, motherfucker. When would I have seen him in motion? He was a professional basketball player. Is he Space Camp or Space Jam? Space Jam. Oh, okay. He was in Space Camp. He was in Space Jam.

That's true. Yes. And the Celtics. Playing the role of a motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah. Mr. Dream Team. Sure. Was he in any, was he in anything else? Like any other movies? He's in Blue Chips. Yeah, he was in Blue Chips. I? Like any other movies? He's in blue chips. He was in blue chips. I don't know.

I can't shoot. Isn't that Hoosiers? That's a different movie. He's not in that. That's the hack man. Now I have to leave. So thanks. The hack man's up in there.

I believe the movie was called Hoosiers. No one's ever been close to him. Not even Magic Johnson. Really? They just have a stranger. He's just a motherfucker, man, a classic motherfucker He's a motherfucker He's better than LeBron, am I right?

No Michael Jordan My dad would have you believe that Larry Bird is better than Your dad sounds racist He was, certainly, before he passed on to the racist A lot of people call me the white Larry Bird

I'm very skeptical of people call me the white Larry Bird. I'm very skeptical of people who like Larry Bird too much. My, what is it, my third pick? My third pick is going to be the Scarlet Macaw. No, why do you want that? Because I saw them in Costa Rica and they're amazing. Have you heard them? Yeah.

It's so terrifying. It was great. They're like flying rainbows i mean i've never you know what you think of when you think of jimmy buffett it's that bird it's like a red parrot it really is i mean it's just when we were in costa rica i was sitting on the beach and i looked up and there were two of them just flying around it was like those are those are the birds that they have here yeah and i'm not gonna name other birds they won't get picked but the birds that we have in South Dakota We already picked pigeons. don't look like...

We don't have those in South Dakota. We don't even have in South Dakota. Grouse? Okay, you have to tell us after we're done because I do really want to know. There's like three that I can think of. I'll tell you after we're done. But yeah, there's certainly not a story.

Because they can fly, so they'd leave. It's cheating. It's cheating. That's the great Todd Glass joke. You know that todd glass joke where he got so stoned that he was like looking out a window he's like we're like why would a bird live in a shitty neighborhood which is fucking true bro fuck he's so funny shout out to todd glass todd glass man scarlet mccall yeah scarlet mccall i just i was shocked i'd never really seen anything like that not in you used to do burlesque under the name Scarlett McCaw

I didn't used to that's my bad I'm sorry can I tell my Larry Bird story yes by which I mean my Scarlett McCaw story you told a Scarlett McCaw story I worked on an animal rehab in Guatemala for a while that all checks out

and uh they can't rehabilitate the idea of this place was to like rehabilitate the animals and then put them back in the line Guatemala for a while. That all checks out. They can't rehabilitate. The idea of this place was to rehabilitate the animals and then put them back in the wild. Because they got hooked on smack. How many steps? 12? No, what do you mean? No, no. That bird's just making amends.

The macaws never apologized. No. What actually happened is they are not, a lot of birds, actually intelligent birds especially, are not eligible because once they learn people have food, they don't ever unlearn that. So if you put them back out, they'll just fly straight to poachers. Right. So they had this massive surplus of scarlet macaws here because they can't be rehabilitated and what zoo wants 400 scarlet macaws, you know?

So we just had to sleep next to them in a giant cage. Really? 400 of them. That does not seem necessary. This place was sketchy as fuck, David. They had a jaguar in a chain link cage. They also made you sleep in a bird cage? In a car jaguar? I slept in a retired vet clinic

where they were still used tools on the fucking tables, metal tables. Whoa. How did you get here? I absconded in the night. Listen, it's a whole different life. Point is, these birds... Were you kidnapped? We'll talk about it after. Were you taken?

No, kind of. Listen, it doesn't matter. Point is, these birds... There's going to be 400 scarlet macaws. Three in the morning, they start making noise every night. They're going to take you. Three in the morning? Three in the morning, and they sound like this. Sorry, Marissa. All 400 of them going off at the same time.

They sound like they're dying. That's just the noise they make for fun. And they all want to talk at three in the morning. No, if they sound like that, I wouldn't be mad about it. No, that was the Scarlett McCall

that we keep in the workout room. Is that Zach? Are you talking about Zach? No. Is this? Is this Zach? Are you talking about Zach? Is this your question of Zach? Are you keeping the workout room? No, he's the guinea fowl. That's what I was saying. Hey, yo, hey.

What are you doing? That's just his MMA fighter name. Anybody else up? Anyway, they look cool, but I have a vendetta against them. For me, they look cool, but I have a vendetta against them. For me, they were like the first super dope bird I ever saw out in the world where I was like, man, people just fucking live here.

That is pretty crazy when you see them. They're like those ones in San Francisco. Oh, the parents? Really? On Telegraph Hill, I think. They're here, too. They roosted a tree. There's some across the street from your Oh, that's right. Yeah.

Yeah, there's some across the street from your house in that big tree right there. Feral parrots. All right, Sean, tell me your fourth pick. Pick number four. I'm going to go,

and again, this is, wow, gosh, what am I going to do? Yeah, I'm going to do Blue Jay. All right. I like a Blue Jay. Oh, come on. And it's another one

of those things- It's called oral sex. Just give me a blue J. Who's going to high five you? That's what it's called after it's done. A blue J, right? Because you don't ever get to finish, Sean? It's a past tense. Well, it's a blue J when it's happening. It's a blue J after it's done.

You were blown. You were blown. Well, you have blue balls because you can't come. Whoa, hot take. Easy. Hot new take on the podcast. Air horns, please. Sean can't come. Sue, I'm so sorry.

Sue, I'm so sorry. You can't come. Now you can't come. He's saving it for marriage. I'm just going to have his own story. Then it's going to go bleh. You can get your dick sucked, but you can't come. Those are the rules.

Those are the rules? Those are the rules. What is this game? I've been breaking the rules for 20 years. Then I don't know about birds. I'll tell you about a dirty bird sitting right across from me. No, that was my fifth pick. The dirty. It was me.

It was me. It was me. I'm a dirty bird. Yeah, man. A blue jay. They just look dope. I mean, that bird. Yeah, man. A blue jay. They just look dope. I mean, that's basically what I'm... Which one?

The round head one or the spiky head one? I don't really know. The one with that like... What's it called? It has a name. The swoop back? No, that has like that mohawk, but that thing has a name. It's that biker helmet that Travis Pastrana wears.

Yeah, Travis Pastrana wears one. It's got that spiky head. Come on. It's called like a... Travis Pastrana? I don't know what it's like a a masticulation, a mustarder. I don't know.

Okay. You guys keep talking. I'm going to Google. Okay. Blue Jays. The Toronto Blue Jays. Pretty much just because they're dope looking.

There's not a lot behind it. Shout out to Toronto. Toronto. Yeah. Yeah. Well, picked up from Rissa. I picked up from Rissa.

Also, shout out to Daddy Yankee. Shout out to Daddy Yankee just in general. For that informerissa. I picked that from Rissa. Also, shout out to Daddy Yankee. Yeah, shout out to Daddy Yankee just in general. For that Informer song. That was a long walk. I understand what I just did there. That song rips.

Yeah. What's the name of that song? What do you like about Blue Jays? They just look dope. All right, cool. When I see them, it's another one of those birds where I'm just like, holy shit, that's a blue bird. Yeah, the one that goes, bah, too, you know, right?

They're so annoying. I can't believe you're picking it. I think it's dope. I'm really in just a big, pretty blue bird flying through the air. Sign me up. My dog just killed one. Damn.

Fucking killed it. You believe that? She killed it. I killed a blue jay too. Cotton killed a blue jay. I killed a rat. What's wrong with your dog? I don't know.

She has blood lust. I'm telling you. It's a problem. What's up with your chihuahua? We're going through some stuff together as a unit. Chihuahua. Chihuahua. I can't know. She has bloodlust. I'm telling you. It's a problem. What's up with your chihuahua? We're going through some stuff together as a unit. I can't find the name. Are you killing people too? Hey, hey, hey. Why are you asking that?

Someone asking questions. I just have one dollar. David, tell me your fourth bird. I'm picking a motherfucking bald eagle. Mr. Motherfucking Bald Eagle. Mr. Motherfucking Bald Eagle. Mr. Motherfucking Exquire. I saw a grip of those in the old rainforest on our recent road trip.

Whenever you see them, they're way bigger than you think they are. They are a big motherfucker. They have sex in a cool way. Do they? They're just like tumbling. Yeah, they fall. So do you, Sean. There's a lot of those where I tumbling. Yeah. They fall. So are you, Sean. So are you. Yeah.

There's a lot of those where I'm from. A lot of those. True. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right there on the island. All over the country. I was just up in the rainforest up there, like on the Quinault Indian Reservation.

Is that? Olympia Peninsula? Olympia National Park. Wow. Nowhere near where I'm from. But very beautiful. Nowhere near where you're from? No.

I'm from basically Canada. Okay. Right across the water from Bellingham that's why you like Bellingham so much I call it Boo-ling-ham yeah cause it's Boo-ls nuts

let's just let you I want to let you take an empty cup of water just take a long sip from my empty cup of water. Just take a long sip from my empty cup. Oh, gosh. Oh, boy. It's like a blood saying cool.

That's how we'll explain it. That's what Adam's going for. I was just picking back being boo. Oh, your blood. I get it. And boo. They are. The one thing I have to say, the bone I have to pick with eagles is they don't make the

noise you think they make. That's a hawk noise. Right. Oh, I'm sorry. I named a bird. Sorry. Mervin. That's what they sound like.

Yeah. No one talks about it. Mervin. Mervin. And you're like, that's our bird. Mervin. Mervin. It's disappointing.

It makes sense. It makes sense. But no. I also like them because they're huge. They're fucking big. Yeah. Those are big ass birds. And I used to love that movie Rescuers Down Under. But no. I also like them because they're huge. They're fucking big. Yeah. Those are big ass birds. And I used to love that movie Rescuers Down Under.

Hell yeah. That movie opens with them riding it. Yeah. Yeah. They're just intense too. Like their looks are severe. They're so scary. Yeah.

But that's cool. I've seen it. My friend. Okay, whatever. This is a real Sean story of me. But with the lake one summer, my friend caught a fish and then he held it up in the air and an eagle snatched out his hand. Shut the fuck up.

Swear to God. That's awesome. It was so sick. If I was any part... That's a Sean story? That sounds dope. You said it like it was bad. That's the island equivalent of South Dakota.

But a bald eagle took it. I'm like, that's tight. No, but for you, it'd be like, you know, your friend Whitey took it or something. The stories you tell, it's tight. For you, it'd be like your friend Whitey took it. The stories you tell, it's a good analogy. You'd be holding up a 40 and then Hot Dog Billy would swing it on a rope and take it. It's like one of those semi-colon analogies on the SATs.

Hot Dog Billy. I took the ACTs. Dirt Bike Monroe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you mean Gas Pipe Susan. That's what I meant. I'm stuck on hot dog billy man meth face rex i'm gonna have some hot dogs tonight yeah the bald eagles are fucking superb bird i mean it's it's america's bird you know

and uh it's been with us through thick and thin what more is there to say to put a button on it. Ladies and gentlemen. What else do we got? Birders. Birders. Regal. Strong.

White headed. Yellow eyes. They also have them in Africa. What? Bald eagles? There's African. What country? I'm not sure.

Let me look it up. That's confusing to me because that feels like a different hemisphere environmentally. It feels like that to me too, but birds can fly. Yeah, but they can live. Do bald eagles migrate? I have so many questions. I don't think they're bald eagles. I think they're just African eagles. Oh, well,

I don't want to spoil a pick, but there's another type of eagle that I think lives in Tibet as well. It's big fucking eagles. It's time for my pick, though. It looks like a bird. What are we on, three or four? One, four. My fourth pick. Okay.

I'm going to take the raven. Oh, okay. Come on. If you want to pick it, never more. You can't. Hey. What were you going to say? Is that the same as another type of bird?

No. It's a different bird. That's a different bird. Thank you. I think I know the one you're thinking of, and that's a different bird. Okay, good. Ravens are fucking brilliant.

They're like smart. Are they real smart? Yeah, they're smart. Yeah, they're like. So they talk to each other, too. They talk to each other. They recognize patterns over here. I think they are the same bird.

I don't think they are. I mean, they have different names, so I don't think they are at all. Yeah, those are different birds. Ravens are a little slicker looking to me. Yeah, ravens bigger, I think, too. Ravens are like, they're a higher paid assassin. Yeah, absolutely. You mean die guys?

Yeah, they're a higher paid die guy. Nice. So the researchers taught the ravens that if the birds placed a special tool in a tube sticking out of a box, it will release their favorite piece of food, one whole piece of dog kibble then the scientists took the box and the tool away an hour later the team offered the ravens a choice of objects one being that special tool 15 minutes later the ravens got the box back uh and then about 80 of the time the ravens selected the correct tool and perform so they can use tools. That's wild. That's out of control.

Monkeys have not been able to solve tasks like this. And birds are actually more skilled than human children. Yeah. Up until age five. Yeah. Ravens are smarter than your fucking kids. Your fucking cats. Yeah.

I met some dumb ass kids. Yeah, dude. It's funny looking at all the stuff a kid can't do. Read, vote, beat me at basketball. Some grown-ups over here can't do that, so let's chill out a little bit. Felons? Yeah. I'm glad you brought it up.

Yeah. I also like how murdered out ravens are. Seriously. Black on black on black. Black on black on black with a black ski mask. Crook look. Yeah. What is that?

I don't know. It's like what they sound like. No, that was your... God damn, what's that band? Disturbed? Deal with the sickness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get down, come on, come on.

Get down with the sickness. Open up your hate and let it fall to me. Now you sound like a shoeball store. Can I borrow one dollar? Oh, no. Give me one dollar, not borrow. Give me, give me a dollar. Just Ravens. I just fucking love Ravens.

Ravens are dang. There's a football team named after them. Raven Simone is tight. Shout out to Ryan Sickler. Shout out to Ryan Sickler. They're just awesome and they're really smart birds. I think we treasure them and they're beautiful. What more is there to say? All time for your fourth and then your final picks as it is.

I had to be quiet on your fucking pick because i'm picking crows yeah shit but all the shit you just said is also true about crows except they're smaller yeah but look what i just read and trying to fact check they're not the same it says this is a scientist saying thank you for clearing your throat i have personally witnessed 17 encounters between crows and ravens and and in every case, I saw multiple crows harassing a single raven, even though a raven is two or three times heavier

than a crow. So they gang up and have a mob mentality toward ravens, but they're just as smart. Explains a lot. I'm two to three times your size, and I'm constantly getting harassed by 16, 17 me-ells. It checks out. I saw a video before

I came here because I wanted to be confident about my crow choice. I love crows. I've loved crows since I first saw that cartoon movie, We're Back. I think that Screw Eye was the right. We're Back, a dinosaur story? Remember Screw Eye? I don't remember the plot at all. I remember Screw Face from March for Death. Or what I call you behind your back.

Screw Face. Screw Tapes from Houston. I remember that. You don't remember Screw Up, yes? behind your back. Screw face. Screw tapes from Houston. Screw tapes. I remember that. Yeah. You don't know how screw up he is? Crows,

people think they're creepy and I think that's cool. I do. I think they're creepy. I swear they've followed me multiple times. They probably have because they probably have

a mob mentality towards Sean Jordan. It's really wild. Yeah, they're smart. They know what's going on. They're hella smart. The video I watched today, they figured out

how to make the water level in a glass rise to get something off the top because they couldn't fit in by adding stones to the water until it rose high enough they could reach it. That's pretty sweet. That's how some stuff a raven might do. Also, can't they have a pretty big vocabulary if you teach them? I think they can learn a lot of words, but I'm not sure about that.

They just also sound cool. Yeah. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Hi! Hi! cool yeah hi just a real trash they're like scavengers but not like the scary kind

free guns they're free they also get They're freegans. Yeah. They also, again, with the murdered out thing, they just look really fun. They look really cool. Brandon Lee. Imagine if you were friends with all the crows. I mean, you would have

friends everywhere. You'd be very powerful. You'd be too powerful. Hi! Hey! I think I... Hey! Hi!

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hey! Hi! Hi! Yeah! Hi! Sorry. Close your windows. I'm sorry. This is a lot. We're just in Fred Meyer or Ralph's or whatever. Just like in the fruit. If I was high,

I would be crying. I am high and it makes me uncomfortable. Do you smoke weed? Yeah. There's a bird that sounded just like that you fuck you up you just wake up in the morning hi hi oh my god the fucking crow's back hi he's i want to kill him but he's man he's nice though he's all right hey i don't want to be a jerk about it. I just had a super low voice.

I seriously have heard. I've heard them out there like doing. Doing that pretty much at like five in the morning. And I will. I get freak pissed about this. We all have fairly similar senses of humor. The three of us. But this crow bit is the fissure.

This is one of the lines of demarcation between the thing that I think is the funniest and what David might think is the funniest. And it's good that we have that. Hi! Well, I... I'm not stoned at all! And I'm well-rested.

If we're going down this road I think it's funny to picture like a six foot crow in the doorway no but like a crow this is like an actual crow not a human who came back from the dead

not like Howl's Moving Castle but when he's a bird Brandon Lee and Carmel did you ever met that guy oh there was a big crow in Howl's Moving Castle he's hot I'm gonna

I'm gonna buy Spirited Away tonight ooh I've never seen any of those movies. We should have a little. Oh, we got to do it. Yeah, we got to get that going. Sorry, what were you saying?

Just a giant crow in the doorway like a human, chilling, like leaning up, just going like. Just like right there. No, he'd be chill. He'd be chill. He'd be chill. All right. He would bring weed. For me, it's funniest if it's a regular-sized crow.

Hi! But by itself, so you're not sure if they all do it? I keep thinking about the crow from Robin Hood. Oh, yeah. Fuck, that movie is awesome. Fox one? Yeah. Crow, and your final pick, Miel?

Boy, I'm picking some weird birds today. Let's just fuck it up. I think I want to do a blue-footed boobie. What is a blue-footed boobie? Exactly what it sounds like, baby. They got a blue foot? Why do you sound like you're at the bus station? Because I got to say boobie.

Blue-footed boobie. She's picking a boobie. I got to say boobie, and it was for science. I don't know if this is science. I don't know if this is science. I don't know if we're very scientific. Birds. Who else does that? Scientists. I drafted Larry Bird. We're exactly like Laura.

Alright. This is what zoology is, David. That's zoology. Camaraderie. I just feel like not only do they look like fucking yoked I won't say another bird, but a bird that lives by the sea and makes a lot of annoying noises. Under the sea walk. Keep going.

Oh, yeah. Down by the boardwalk. Down by the boardwalk. I said what I said. Down by the bay. I'm sorry. Under the sea. Sorry about that.

Oh, yeah. Under the sea. No. Got it. No. David said under the sea walk. I sang under the sea. Sorry about that. Oh, yeah. Under the sea. Nope. Got it. Nope. David said under the sea walk. I sang under the sea walk. Yeah.

Walking on the sun. We do whip boop. Anyway, Blue Feet. Blue Feet. Blue Feet. They dance, too. They dance pretty gnarly. They look crazy.

When they stare directly at camera, they look like they have a secret. Oh, yeah. I like that about them. And they look like they're wearing those like light blue chucks. Neon blue. Similar to the superb Burner Paradise. Like I said, under the crib walk. Just like you said.

Delve in a little harder. I stand behind it. Under the crib walk. Gang, gang. Under the crib walk. Gang, gang. Under the crib walk. Gang, gang. Under the crib walk. Crib walk.

Hey, wait. Which one's blue? Where's blue? Cribs. So, blue for boobie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that right? The crib walk.

No, yeah. Is that the joke you were making? The whole time. So, the whole time I was laughing. I was laughing at the wrong thing. No, you were laughing at the right thing. I was just laughing because you were singing. Yeah. And you were making? The whole time. So the whole time I was laughing, I was laughing at the wrong thing? No, you were laughing at the right thing. I was just laughing because you were singing. Yeah.

And you were actually doing a joke. Levels. Yeah. I'm starting to feel like I'm from an island. You know what I mean? It's leveled. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're from an island. Boobies. Hey. Got him. So now you guys get it. Yeah. So we all have slow jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're all the same. are there other boobies is that the red foot do the girl ones have titties is that what you mean imagine human breasts on a bird uh crap right now have you ever seen uh have you ever seen five goes west or an american tale oh yeah together forever one of those pigeons was stacked oh yeah watch it pigeon had huge breasts i love that i remember fievel's sister pretty well Oh, yeah. Together forever. One of those pigeons was stacked. Oh, yeah. Let me watch it. Pigeon had huge breasts. I love that movie.

I remember Fievel's sister pretty well. She's cute. Blue-footed boobie. Brown boobie. Nah. Masked boobie. Blue. Nazca boobie.

Blue. Peruvian boobie. Oh, yeah. The red-footed boobie. Nice. Do they have red feet? Mm-hmm. So the bloods of the bird gangs.

Whoa. Are they wearing red chucks? I like pure cookies. Red chucks. I like pure Peruvian boobies. I bet you do. Uncut. Unstepped on. I don't care what your foot color is. I don't really know a lot

else about them. Just a funny name and cool feet. That's all we need. I like the shoes. I'm a shoes girl. Sorry. I'm wearing slides. Slides, slides, but that's the path. I'm a shoes girl. Sorry. I'm wearing slides. Slides, slides, but that's the path. I got something brand new for that ass. Ian's last pick.

What will it ever be? That's what... Can I take a guess? Same as it ever was. Is it the singer-songwriter Robin? Same as it ever... Oh, that would be a good one. That would be a good one. I'm on the corner.

No, I'm going to take the kiwi. Yeah. Dang, I didn't even think about that. My second flightless bird of the draft. Yeah, seriously. Big, fat little weirdos with a weird little beak. And they lay eggs that are six times bigger than chicken eggs, even though they are the size of chickens. That's really funny.

They're that small? That's hilarious, too. In my head, they're bigger. No, kiwis are the size of chickens, and they lay big-ass chickens. That's really funny. They're that small? That's hilarious, too. In my head, they're bigger. No, kiwis are the size of chickens, and they lay big-ass eggs. That's so funny. Yeah, and they just wobble around being ridiculous. Yeah, I like them.

Wow. I didn't know they were that little. I didn't either. I had no idea. Can they fly? No, flightless. What? Yeah.

I would have said the size of a cooler, I bet. A cooler? Yeah. Coolers come in multiple sizes. I was trying to think of something the size of a, like that shoebox behind you for all the listeners. A shoebox, right. But those usually are one size.

No, I mean like, there's like an ottoman. That's a big bird. I thought they were bigger. You thought kiwis were that big? Yeah. No, they're fluffy little guys. Yeah, I thought they were bigger. Their feathers are all like those fine, weird little feathers too, so they look like they're

softer, but they're really fun to pick up and squeeze. Do you think that when they talk to other birds, they have an accent? Yes. Yes. Not noi. Not Eva. Not Eva. I say he's not going to be there. Oh, I'm a boy.

Oh, no. Anyway, yeah, kiwi birds. Noi, noi birds no no no no no uh they're all over new zealand i fuck with them what else do we need to know i fuck with them i fuck with them heavy uh david time for your final pick my final pick i'm taking it straight to the streets of the 646 talking about 2005 high school forever i'm talking about the Elizabeth Cardinals. Not a lot of Cardinals in Elizabeth. Surprisingly. Was it a Catholic thing?

No. It was the bird. The bird, yeah. We were the Westview Wildcats, and I'm pretty sure we picked it just because of Arizona. Yeah, I don't know why we picked it. Same color scheme and everything. I don't. So this is your high school mascot?

Yeah. Oh, okay. So specifically Chris White, who wore the mascot. Shout out to Chris White. Are you supposed to say that? I thought it was like a magician revealing his secrets. Who, who's in the mask?

Oh no. Everybody knew it was Chris White. I'm sure Chris White was out there. Well, he was out there cursing a lot. really? Yeah. Because he'd be walking on the sidelines.

I'd be like, this suit is fucking hot as shit. And the cheerleader coach would be like, Chris, stop. I'm sure it was hot as fucking shit yeah but he wore it i can't imagine being a man he started wearing it because one time we were watching game film and uh the jefferson saints and then one other team their mascots fought at halftime whoa it was and we were like jefferson was coming and we're like chris you got to put the mask on. And you got to fight that fucking saint, man. They fought for real?

Like fist fights? Well, I like play, but. Yeah, like a little tussle. Yeah. It wasn't like you fucked my girlfriend or anything. No, no. It was just like a little tussle. All right.

I got you. Mask out, beef. Yeah. And Cardinal, I think they're cool looking birds. They are cool looking birds. They look like authors. Yeah. Yeah.

And a novel jacket photo You know what I'm saying Yeah Like it looks like You could like Pen a memoir I feel like Cardinals have gotten

Like a weird rap As your grandmother's Favorite bird But they're actually tight Isn't this just How you say bird now Bird Bird

I actually wasn't Trying to say it weird I know that's what I'm saying It just slipped in It happened Just like that I just I think of like A bowl of seashells And a weird. No, that's what I'm saying. It just slipped in. It happened just like that. I just, I think of like a bowl of seashells and a cardinal painting. And that's my grandma's bathroom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like a cross stitch of a cardinal. Or like up in your house around Thanksgiving, there's like a stuffed cardinal. Why are they, just because they're red? I think that's the whole reason they're called cardinals, yeah. They're pretty fucking rad birds. No, they're cool looking, man. Yeah. And you know, rad birds. No, they're cool looking, man. Yeah.

And you know, these colors don't run. Elizabeth High School football forever. Clanging and banging in the Iron Gym. Thousand Pound Club. Sophomore year. Not being emo. No big deal. Wait, a thousand pounds?

That was, it was bench. Squat it? Squat and. Clean and jerk. Clean and. Oh, deadlift? Bench squat oh deadlift it was deadlift it was bench squat deadlift and i think hang clean hang clean is that the hang clean is like up to your chest and then they put it no that's that's that's the jerk or that's the jerk which one's oh i don't

know it's been a long time since i was banging but that's all that's all i did back then sophomore year yeah they wouldn't give it to me because I was in weights one. They said you have to be in weights two. Even though you were in the thousand pound club? Even though I was in the thousand. I was so pissed. So then when I got it junior year, I was like, I don't give a fuck now. There's a million juniors on there.

Who cares? That's not cool at all. It doesn't count anymore. Are you still strong? What? Are you still strong? I'm like, it's like one of the few, I'm like dumb strong. Whoa, really?

Yeah, there's not any use for it. I want to see you fight. No, you don't. Calm down. No. Beat Sean up. All right, let's go. Will you beat Sean up?

I want to see. Give it a shot. Give it a shot, you mark. I want to see a strong one. Don't do that to me. Second agree. Don't put me in this situation where I have to fuck you up my way out. Knock some sense into this irish do it i was dude i always say hit him in the all the time i'm just like one of the social

bits like hit him in the face and uh my friend back in the day one of my one of my fun back in the day one of my fun stuff it's just like a bit i do when i'm out with my friends i'm famous for my social bets and there's the fries hit him in the face there's the the nine inches you know you are great at social that old bit so what is the bit so the bit is whenever somebody says anything even remotely anything i'm just like hit him in the face so we were at the skate park one time years ago and this this kid rolled by and like my friend adam said something to him i go hit him in the face and he did. And I was like,

you're not supposed to do that. Adam, Adam got pretty buck on him. Cause he just got in the face for no reason. Those kinds of fights. I want to see David in a boxing ring. Knock someone out. I don't want to see that.

I don't want to see that. You can just lift things. You know, just pick some stuff up. We can go in the front yard. David could lift me up. Yeah. Like Dirty Dancing

would be fun. All right, guys, subscribe to the Patreon and see the video. I could fight back my tears. That'd be the only fight going on. It counts. I'll take it.

Sean, what's your final pick? Penguins. What kind of penguin? Emperor penguin. There you go yeah the one from surf's up

I actually didn't have a spanish one they're the high chested ones yeah they're the ones and they have all the colors on their throat right or do they have the colors

on the top of their head I don't know they're the tall ones which ones are the ones that live in warm weather those are the tall ones yeah the emperor penguins are the ones

they have a little yellow yeah that's what I meant arctic circle they're the ones from like march of the penguins yeah they're all big yeah just yellow on their neck. They're the ones from March of the Penguins. They're all big. They're just dope. They're not the tuxedo ones, like the slippery, smooth ones.

With the thin necks. They're not the James Bonds. They're the big motherfuckers. No, they're the big beep beep ones. They're like the big Buffalo Bill ones. Not the James Bonds. They're the big, dumb looking ones. I fucking love the James Wands. They're the big dumb looking ones. I fucking love penguins, man.

I can't believe they stay on the board. Everybody loves penguins. They're dope. Their teeth freak me out. No, their teeth are weird. I didn't know they had teeth. Oh, you never look up Google penguin teeth. Oh, well, maybe when you're in a safe space.

When you're in a safe space. Not at work. Yeah. Yeah. Safe space for sure. I just love an aquatic bird. We really left him on the table. They weigh almost 100 pounds. Do you think?

These bird size facts are blowing me away. 48 inches in height. Almost 100 pounds. 48 inches? Yeah. That's four feet tall. Four feet tall. Wow. I don't fuck with this anymore. I didn't know they were four feet tall. That's way too tall.

That can't be correct. I don't believe that. You gotta square up on that like you square up on a man. You're saying that these penguins are four feet tall. If the internet said it, I don't, that can't be. That's not even the biggest bird. No, not even close. Emus are taller than that. Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, we're done. Both taller. Flamingos are probably up there. I can't believe flamingos got left. There are eagles that are three feet from tip of the head to tail of the chowder, as it were. Okay, now can I tell a bird story that has a lot of birds this one time? Wait, no one gave me permission, actually. Wait, we gotta, wait, what now?

Because everyone picked their birds, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We gotta recap. Okay. Tori, I'm not cutting you. I just said, I don't want you to share this this whole time, and I couldn't. There were not too many birds. I'm not going to share this this whole time. And I couldn't,

there were not too many birds. I was driving home. I live up a dirt road on a mountain and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a gathering of large birds. I was really intrigued what was going on. So I was like, mom, let me out here.

What time of the month was it? Like what was the moon like doing? Probably. That was the way that didn't meet him. Wax and give us go on. Maybe I was ovulating. I don't know. They thing. Wax and gibbous. Go on. Maybe I was ovulating. I don't know. I was 13. They like to have waning parties is what I was asking. Well, it was midday.

Yeah, and it was after school. My mom was driving me home. Was this on your island? Yeah. I was like 13. And we were driving up my mountain and I was like, hey, drop me off here. I want to go check out these birds. I'll walk up. I don't know. This isn't the cool part, Sean. I love it. I it i love it so i walked up they were in the horse pasture under a tree and i was like how close are these birds gonna let me the same pasture where you got wounded oh my god great memory no different pasture same horse and i walked up different you

know brother different path how's stuff going in different past your same horse that's just me and my wife moved the thing is that was so normal in my hometown that's a cool thing to me different past your same i'm gonna say that next time i go home people like how's that late treating you you have to say. Different pastures, same one. I'm going to say that next time I go home. People are like, how's that light treating you? You don't have to say that. Different pastures, same one. So I get close and I'm like, wow, these are quite large birds.

They're getting only bigger the closer I get. And I realize it's two vultures standing. Oh, are they? Two golden eagles. Whoa. And one bald eagle. Whoa. Whoa, that's like you met like the five families.

Yes. And they're all hanging out. And they were sharing A deer carcass That had deer had run Into this tree And like broke its neck Yeah

And I got within Four feet of them Before the bald eagle Was like I'm gonna go And then they all Followed suit No way I got to see all those

Birds that close None of them like Came at you at all Feasting No and a golden eagle Standing on the ground Next to me Came up to like mid rib

Whoa It was crazy That That's crazy. When you're so close to their food. Did you see them like ripping out the meat? No, they were too aware of me. They were kind of like you should have been squawking like a bird and then it would have been like. Yeah, I tried going hi, hi, hi,

hi. It didn't work. They're just like the fucking crows here. Just give the crow the rest of the deer. It's a vegetarian. We'll come back. I once time saw, I'm too excited. I gotta sit down. Yeah, you gotta use your words. Once time I saw. Once a time

on my head. There are golden eagles all over our house. They roost above us and I saw one drop a half a deer carcass. Wow. From like 50 feet up holy shit boom right on our lawn

what is it you think it was to finish the deer like the deer I think they slipped I think they slipped what is a golden eagle what's the big difference they're way bigger

they're big and they don't have white heads so same thing way bigger like brown and goldish feathers the same coat the whole way through like massive

way big they're the ones in planet earth in like Tibet that they put like GoPros on. They're the ones in planet Earth in like Tibet that they put like GoPros on their head and they dive bomb at like 50 miles an hour. Manute bowl, dude.

500 miles an hour. Think about Manute bowl. I've been thinking about Manute bowl this whole time when somebody brought it up. Sorry, I just got really excited about birds.

Amazing bird story. Hell yeah. Emperor Penguin, your last pick. To recap the picks that we made, Miel, you went first. You took the Shoebill Stork, the

Superb Bird of Paradise, the Atlantic Puffin, the Crow, and then the Blue-Footed Booby. I went second. I took the Chicken, the Cassowary, the Pigeon, Ravens, and then the Kiwi Bird. David, you went third. You took Daffy Duck,

the Dirty Bird, Larry Bird, Bald Eagles, and then the Elizabeth Cardinals. That's insane. Sean, you went last. You took the Hummingbird, the Barred Owl, the Scarlet Macaw, the Blue Jay, and the Emperor Penguin. We left

a lot of great birds on the board. On the bird board? Flamingo. Birdman. Oh, Birdman. Oh, he's great. Big Bird. Toucan. Toucan Sam. Toucans are fantastic. Launchpad McQuack is a great one. Crap, dude. Huey, Dewey,

and Louie. All three of them. I want a new drug. Pelicans. Oh, Quetzals. What are Quetzals? Quetzals are the green bird that like Dr. Seuss cartoons are based on from Guatemala. The Peregrine Falcon. They peregrine falcon. They punch birds out of the air.

You know that? Yeah, I think we saw one do it on Planet Earth or something. The Sri Lanka frog mouth. Peacocks? Turkeys. Oh, turkeys are good. Oh, turkeys. I hate those.

They're so nice. They are so ugly. The Philippine eagle is three feet from the tip of its head to its tail feathers. So that's like the longest bird in the world. Crazy wingspan. They eat monkeys and shit. And an albatross, right? It's the biggest wingspan and we didn't even talk about it.

Yeah, the albatross. Big bird. Apologies to the birds. Big bird. Yeah, I'm sorry. No birds. No birds. Big birds.

Little birds. No birds. Big birds. Big birds. Little birds. No birds. Big bird. Big birds. Little birds. No birds. Big bird. Big bird.

Big bird. John Williamson, our favorite pelican. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's the one from Finding Nemo. That's a good one too.

Yeah. The pheasant is the state bird of South Dakota by the way. Pheasant. Cause you hunt. They got cool feathers though. They do. They're pretty. Yeah. The pheasant is the state bird of South Dakota, by the way. Pheasant, because you hunt, huh? They got cool feathers though, so I can't name it. They do.

They're kind of pretty. Can't fly very far. Kind of stuck there. And also a wood duck is a cool duck. That's what I thought you were asking about when David picked ducks. No, I don't know any ducks, but I did mean to pick a loon. Wood duck is the one that looks like it's painted. Forgot to pick loons.

Loons are gross. And cockatoos. Gross. Oh, whippoorwills. That's some good birds. What'd you say? Whippoorwill? Whippoorwill.

What is that? Yeah. Is that a cockatoo? Is it cockatill or cockippoorwills. That's some good birds. What'd you say? Whippoorwill? Whippoorwill. What is that? Yeah. Is that a cockatoo? Is it cockatill or cockatoo? I think those are two different birds. It's cockatiels and cockatoos. Okay. Cockatoomy.

My friend had- And then the cocktow twins. Jesus. I'm sorry. My bird flew away when I was eight years old. My parakeet. Yeah. Same horse, different pasture.

I had a bird when I was eight years old. That's all I heard. No, no. when i was eight years old that's all i heard no no the story is actually good i promise no hey they're flew away i couldn't find it it's dead it's orcas island in the middle of the winter um nope it flew to the local camp 10 miles away landed on a little girl's head and i got the bird back whoa hell yeah and then i was on the front page of the paper for it really how many times were you on the front page of the paper for it. Really? How many times were you on the front page of the paper? A few. I was with my bird on my head and the caption said, Ike takes a hike. Ike takes a hike? Your bird was

named Ike? Yeah. Aww. After Eisenhower? Ike takes a hike. Sure. No, I don't know. What's a cool parakeet named Ike? Yeah. He's right. It is. Mine was named Dwight, that's why. Ooh, I like that. After Eisenhower? I never had a bird. Dwight Halbert's why. I like that. After Eisenhower. I never had a bird.

Dwight Halbert. Time to end the podcast. Yeah, I think it's random. Of course. You sure you want more bird stories? We want to hear all yours. And for more bird stories, tune in to Miel's new podcast. What?

Fuck, man. Shout out to everybody. Shout out to everyone. Shout out to every bird shout out to all y'all birds all y'all birds living out there shout out to fucking Magoo shout out to Timberland

who loves to love to love you everybody on the AFE Patreon we love you thank you for fucking with us and holding us down we really appreciate that new mail back coming soon another watch along next month or actually this month while you're listening to this. Try to hit us up at AFVpodcast

at gmail.com or all fantasy podcasts. All fantasy pod I think is what it is. All fantasy pod on Twitter. Hit us up on the gram. You know the avenues. Yeah, you know how to get a hold of us. Shout out to the fucking AFV subreddit. We love you. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the dude. Shout out to the fucking AFE subreddit. We love you. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude.

Shout out to fucking Beast Wars, dude. Shout out to fucking, shout out to like Diet Coke. Yeah, shout out to 7-Up. I was feeling that the other day. Oh, shout out to the Air Fryer. Oh, shout out to the Air Fryer for sure. You gotta get one, dude. Shout out to Wings.

I got these wings down, man. I could go for some wings right now, bro. And that's about it. And you know, more important than all that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Too thick. that was a hate gum podcast