All Fantasy Everything - Board Games (w/ Chris Fairbanks)

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

Not to be confused with bored games, which are the games you play when you're bored.Guest:Chris Fairbanks (@chris_fairbanks)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of popular culture. There it is. That's what it is. Today, we're drafting board games. Can't believe we haven't drafted it. That's an odd one. Not as many as you think out there.

There's more than you think is what I say. Our guest today is the phenomenal stand-of-comedian. Our friend Chris Fairbanks is here. I'm your host, Dean Carmel with me, as always, are my friend, Sean Jordan and David Bory. Any on your list that you didn't really play a lot coming up? On my mental, because this is mostly a mentalist for me because I... Oh, it's a mentalist, bro. It's mostly the mentalist, dude.

You're like Woody Harrelson. And now you see me? I'm drafting that show, The Mentalist with a dude from Devil Wars Prada. Who's that guy? Adrian Grenier. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's the guy from the... Stanley Tucci.

From the music, Britney Spears music video. Driving crazy. Who's the dude in... Driving crazy. Who's the dude? Who's the mentalist? Patrick, something? What's the mentalist?

Is that the one about the serial killers? The man's name is Simon Baker. Okay. It's one of those shows where someone's like, it's actually pretty good. You should watch... 100%. And then you look... It's like nine seasons.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still got to tackle the wire and all these other shows, people get mad at you. Before I get to fucking suits. Before I get to Royal Paines. But people do say it's good. Suits? And if you ever watch those shows, you're like, this is good. I've seen every episode of suits.

It's an amazing show. That's what I've heard. Yeah, but you love wearing suits. I do love wearing suits. I'm out. Okay. If there's a show called skate shoes, I'll watch every episode for sure. Yeah, yeah.

Is there a show called Inece jacket that Sean shouldn't be wearing? It's in development currently. Warner Brothers is making it. I think the Obama signed off. If you see Sean Kama and Warner Brother, is that why they're making it? Yes. NYC is how you say that. Sean went to Venice.

Well, now in chronologically months ago now, but I just. You saw Who ate all the pussy hoodie? Oh, wow. Right there. Right, I went to the word. Something that you need for a tea, not for cold weather. Oh, man, I got to throw the trash out.

Let me throw on my Who ate all the pussy hood. It's just cold. it's weird. It's nuts down there. To reach a point in your life where you see a shirt like that on the boardwalk and you want to talk to the manager. Yeah. Hey, kids are walking. I was where I'm like, well, and then

that's when I asked Harper, I go, what do you think these cops have to let go? Because there were two cops we saw. Yeah. They can't say everything that people are doing that is wrong. Free speech, America, you can say who ate all the pussy? I can say who ate all the pussy to a cop. Right. I'm not talking about that, but then it just kind of spawned the question. Like, kids were going up and down the boardwalk on their e-bikes.

I'm like, I can't be what they're supposed to be doing. Nothing makes me feel like an old man more than a kid on an e-buck. Yeah. Harper and I both... Zoom it all over the point. We eat lunch and we both were like, I don't have time for all that. Hey, as a country, are we the worst at T-shirts? I think we're the best of T-shirts.

I think that's... Foothies, maybe. Who ate all the pussy? I think we could fucking raise a Who-Aid-all-the-pussy t-shirt up the flagpole. Yeah, but if you go to Japan, they'll have a, you know, live-fast, eight-ass shirt, but it's for little kids. And it's like, it's just,

the letters look cool. I didn't see a dumb t-shirt in Japan. Not on anybody or anything? And that's their problem, in my opinion. Everywhere you go, everywhere I go, I see a stupid fucking t-shirt.

They're not making bacon in Japan. There's no, there's no thin blue line in Japan. Well, that's, okay. Now that we're getting into that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no shirts about how awesome cops are in Japan. Yeah, that,

well, you know what, they fucking took the non- They took the novelty t-shirt away from us. They didn't use to be about cops. The rest of America. No, I just, there's a lot of groups that could fall under it. It could be fat guys. I think, well, fat guys.

Fat guys. Funny guys. Guys who like having a few. Conversationalists. Guys who like having a few. You mean the guy in the armed and hammered shirt? Like having a couple. Yeah.

I think like those, those t-shirts, those thin blue line t-shirts sprung out of. of novelty t-shirt culture. They are novelty looking. And the flags, too, the black and white, or the gray flags, the upside-down ones. They're always tattered. They're so busy. Yeah.

With one stripe. Those don't happen without Big Johnson. I think there's a direct through-line from Big Dog. Even the sport of co-recked volleyball doesn't happen without Big Johnson. That's goddamn right. Oh, man. Co-Hid naked. The shirt can first.

A lot of bass competitions don't start with that. A lot of golfing. The bass fish didn't even exist until the pro shop. A lot of people don't know that. A lot of people don't know that. You think Memphis for that. Yeah, that's right. You ever been to that Bass Pro in Memphis, the biggest one? The pyramid?

It's like a pyramid. I've never been. Oh, wow. It's awesome. I love Bass Pro. It's all possibility in there. They're fun to go into. I could be whoever I want in there.

That's right. That's right. I'll buy a gun and two fishing pools. Yeah. Can you fish in there? Like some of the Bass Pro's, you can fish in them. But one of the one outside of Denham. has the biggest catfish I've ever seen in my life.

You're a bit of an outdoorsman, though, so it's not that far of a leap for you. You live in L.A. now. Some of this. I wouldn't even say, I go in there, and I, there's, like, I just, like, imagine a life where I have a bass tracker boat with, like, a shallow hole, and I'm like. When you live in Colorado, I think there were three things that could have happened that would have led to that. Whereas right now, for me, I think it would take no less than 12 things happening.

For you to go outside more? For me to be owning a bass boat. The amount of things that would have to happen. The boat is tough. Yeah. But you could get into bass. It's really easy. That's what you think,

because you're an outdoorsman. I don't know, man. Once I got a baitcaster, it kind of changed at least that summer. That's the kind of thing a guy says. I don't know what a bait castor. Yeah,

it's funny growing up in the river runs through it town. You're from the river runs through it town? Well, yeah, Missoula is with the Clark Fork, the Bitterroot. Right. And that third one. They all go through.

Right through town. Blackfoot. And everyone, all of my skater friends rejected fly fishing. None of us. I go back now, they're all tying flies. They all boats.

They're guides. No one talks about it, but eventually. That's the thing about fishing. It just becomes part of your life. You got to be patient, let them come to you. You came right? And not only fishing had your friends. They got caught.

You came home and he became an artist. Exactly. That's the coolest part of that movie. When they talk about that, when he talks about coming home and Brad Pitt became an artist fisherman. Yeah. That shit makes me feel like, what are we doing in this scene? I know. Is a river broke out of the one where Brad Pitt learns the Native American language and comes riding in on the horse?

That's legends of the fall. Yeah, yeah. I confused the two also. I've mixed him up my whole life. Yeah, he was in Missou. I had an improv group that used to perform at some bar, the old post. In Missoula. We were getting ready.

Yeah, we were getting ready for a show. That's like 97. and Brad Pitt was in the audience with his beads. It was when he had beads in his goatee and we were so excited and we're like Brad Pitt's gonna watch our short form improv

we better start with freeze tag and we start okay who's ready for some improv and he got up and laughed and it hurts my feelings to this day. Said new choice. Yeah but yeah

I don't think he's in town anymore. Pitt now? Nah. I already moved to Bozeman. Oh, yeah. He has a hat warehouse. More stuff there. Bozeman is, because there's a comedy club there, and I go there, they were identical towns.

Boseman's smaller in Missoula, but to go there now and you just see a dead deer on a cyber truck, multiple, that's their new logo, I think. A dead deer on a cyber truck. A lot of money has moved there, and I didn't realize that as a kid, but the mountains, everything, it's like, oh, this is. way. This is like Wyoming level rugged. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And yeah, the ski area there is now a resort. You used to just get on

the chairlift. Ask for someone's ticket in the parking lot. And it was just running. That's not Oregon similar situation. Back when the deal is knew your name. Yeah. Yeah. They knew what you drank. But Missoules is the same. Yeah. You got a fish. You got a fish. We got pro shop. Oh, yeah. Oh, you know. Yeah. No catfish, though. It's catfish is alive. There's a giant blue cat in the one outside of

It's like crazy, though. Did it have a name? I don't know. I bet it has a name. I don't know. I always really have bad luck with catfish, so I don't really. Good luck eating it. Yeah, but like every time I, because you're supposed to go at like sunup or sundown and like fish the spillways and I just never.

Listen to all this outdoors. I literally sun up and spilters. You know, I couldn't even conjure these words. You own hip waiters? No. You will. I'm not, I think it's just being in Colorado, man. I don't really think it's.

I would have called them dumbwaiters. Dumbwaiters. That's how I'm... Because I've never fly fish. Elevator. Yeah, dumb, I was like, maybe that's what they're called. I was like, no, that's how you get a plate upstairs. I put on, yeah, I love a sister in pet cemetery.

I put on my assless dumb waiters. Yeah. She likes her when I were my assless dumb waiters. I think you have a fly fish in future ahead of you. I don't think so. I see it coming. I don't know, because with fishing, at some point, the thing I'm doing overpower is just I want to be outside and then that's what I'm doing more.

So I come in with idea. It has to be like a really good spot or like ice fishing, something that has like a high hit rate to keep me focused. Otherwise I'm just going to like, I'll start fishing, but then I'm just like wandering around. Right. You know what I mean? It's just like I like the need to get into it. But then I just mostly want to space out. in beautiful places.

And be outdoors. But then you learn jargon to talk to other men so they leave you alone. Right. Right. That's the reason to do it. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, and that's what mostly I'm doing.

Yeah. That's why I should start. I get nervous. I, just because of the premise of this show, I get anxious because I don't follow any. I could not make a fantasy draft of sports. I know nothing. That's fine. And I'll Google.

Skateboarding is a sporting activity. Yeah. And there are guys I get in conversations. and it's like, oh, this is like that, but I can't just add a urinal, which is usually when I want to talk to other men. Are you being in this scenario? Yeah.

You're on your phone, facing the other way. You're on your own chair. Formal wear, tucks with tails, pants or buckled, and I just start a conversation. Everybody walks in, go bucks. You guys can have like a sportsy conversation about skateboarding.

We kind of were. Oh, yeah. When you walked in. One of you mentioned, who's your boyfriend, Kansas City? Sean Malto. John Malto. That's my man, 50 grand. He was in Taylor Swift's wedding.

Sean Malto is it Taylor Swift's wedding? Sure was. Based on the Kansas County. Because the Chiefs connection. Wow. Isn't that nuts? I just saw his, I think his wife posted about it. How many people do you think who could kick flip were at Taylor Swift's wedding?

I would bet it was just him. No, no, no, no, no. I bet there were at least three other kickflippers to know how to kickflippers there. means you think there were three other skaters there. Can you kickflip? I can't. I'm a skater. Yeah, you've seen him kick flip.

Yeah. I know, yeah. I don't think there were three people who even used to skate 10 years ago at Taylor's supposed to play. Guarantee you there were at least three people who could kickflip Taylor. Taylor. Hit those comments, bro.

It's an unanswerable question, which is what makes it one of the most fun. Wasn't it in MSG? There had to be more than three people in the building. Just staff. In the building, maybe. Well, okay. I thought I was talking guess. There's so many people who used to skateboard.

Those kick-ups go away pretty quick. It's weird, though, some of my friends at home that haven't been skating, and maybe weren't even the best out of our group, for whatever reason, my buddy Carl, he had not skated in 20 years, and he can just get on a board and do the tricks he used to do. You know what?

Some people can 360 flip more than a kick-flip because it's more just kick your foot and the board hope it does this thing. There's a little bit more to a kick-flip. You have to be a little bit more accurate. it. Yeah. Because at 360 flip, you can just go and like, scissor your feet and the board will kind of do

do it sometimes. Yeah. A kickflip is a little harder to do. Yep. So I would say more people who haven't skated in a long time can 360 flip over like a kickflip. Like some cop on the boardwalk who's like, I used to skate 20 years ago. Yeah.

They'll do a three flip real quick. Okay. Yeah. But not a kick flip usually. Yeah. Because also your shoes, if you have weird shoes on, you can still pressure the board into a 360 flip. You can't really pressure a kick flip too much.

He's right. He's right I thought he was wrong Now imagine some guy walks up and pisses right In between us in the bathroom Yeah I love it That's what being a pin of football is like Sean Jordan is here

Sean Cougar melon kickflip Sean Cougar Mellon kickflip About a week from now I'll be headlining The Detroit The Motor City Comedy Festival When you say headlining What does that mean?

Going the last movie I might I'm such a headliner I might go first I might headline first We'll see how that goes You should start that trend. I would love to. I would be the best.

Go up first and then you just leave. We say that now. It would suck. It would really suck. When you were a young up and comer. September 17th, Detroit Motor City, I'll be there. And then September 26th, 10-year AFE show, Aladdin Theater first show sold out.

Second show, got to be sold out by now. But if it's not, go get the last ticket. Double dip. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're going, there's only one ticket left, you want to bring your partner, let us know. We'll tell your partner where they can sit during the show.

Outside. At a different bar. The bear claw right next door. And we've arranged for a terrain. We made the calls. We put in the work. We talked to Zeus. We talked to Zeus.

We talked to David Bory. C2F2. Cool guy jokes, 37 on Instagram. I don't have any dates. Me neither. I don't have a single fucking date. This comes out September 10th. Lord Will and I'm in French Polynesia right now.

By now, I think you will be in French Polynesia. You will be in French Polynesia. 27th, I'll be in Mexico. City. I've been told I can do stand up in English, but I'm nervous. September 27. Come see me be nervous and dance around forgetting all the Spanish I've learned. I don't know if this is a point in the show where you do plug. Yes, it is. I just jumped in. Chris Ferris says you, please. We like to do them up top. Right. Yeah. People put them at the bottom. People are like, oh, this podcast is over. No. Yeah. This is free. You listen to where we're going to be. Yeah. Get your pen and paper out.

Yeah. So you'll be in Mexico. Mexico City. Yes. What's the story there? How did that come to? Also going to be raining. Well, we'll see. But yeah, just I'm doing a show there.

And I'm going to stick around all week, getting in a hot air balloon, like a pyramids. It's going to be great. There you go. It's amazing, man. Yeah. It's supposed to be a really great time. Amazing culture. Yes.

Yeah. I'm excited. I've driven around with my finger and looked at the area I'm in. It's beautiful. Yeah. It's going to be great. See you, Dad. Yeah.

It is. is, dude. And Cuando will you be there? Oh! September. September. Ventez? Oh, God.

It is. It's like the rules to a board game. I got panicked. Yeah. So, I mean, we're drafting board games. Chris and I were talking about this beforehand, where with these complex board games, and really some of the less complex ones, too, anytime anyone starts unpacking those rules,

our brains stop functioning completely. Four games aren't for me, man. I love playing. You know what it's fixed it for me, watching YouTube's. Oh, okay. Explaining it. And now there's YouTube explainers for like every game.

Yeah, that's what I've learned to. I got a sewing machine and it came with like a thick booklet. And I just YouTube and watch the visuals. And I'm like, I got it. God bless. Wait, what are you sewing? Um, mostly hamming pants, but I'm starting to embroider, uh,

redo the stitching on the side of pants and stuff. I'm just easing my way into making pants. I want to make some pants. I would love that. Yeah. Pants are the thing I run into the most trouble with. Right. And if you could just make your own, you're like, these are the exact pants I need. I think I can't.

I think I'm ready to just make a paper pattern and buy some fabric. Yeah, I was going to say, are you going to go to McCalls, get the McCall's patterns, you know? I've gone down, I've gone to the garment district. I've bought lengths of fabric already. I'm just a little worry I'm a little anxious That first time out with your own pants Would be scary

Yeah Like the first outing with pants You're gonna be telling everybody that you made them Yeah I made these anyway How much is it? Yeah You want to make denim or like crazy I think I want to go denim

I want to make jeans Yeah I want to make jeans That's pretty cool Yeah but you're right I unveil my new jeans Everyone laughs Yeah that would be a big fear Look at that taper

They're all wearing masquerade man One straight leg and one tapered. I'm so glad I never dated that, man. Why is this room all ex-girlfriends? Root cups. Yeah. Well, I hope that doesn't happen. Don't go to any masquerade balls in your new pants.

No, no, I keep turning down. I'm going to keep turning down these invitations. Yeah, until you master your pants. Dallas and masquerade balls are lousy with the invitation. That's L.A. Also, make sure you reinforce the crotch. I made some shorts in high school once and the crotch blew out immediately. You made shorts in high school?

Or you turned pants into shorts. No, I made some shorts. I thought it was going to be an easy A, so I took fashion clothing with Nick Salazar, who dropped the class immediately. He knows what's up. Yeah, he's watching. I kept the class, and then for the final, I had to make shorts. What was the class? Fashion clothing.

Oh, okay. Yeah. There is a class. Two things I didn't care about. in high school. We were just like, oh, girls are going to be. Even though it was a small school, we knew all the girls. Yeah.

Anyways. Well, you thought you'd get to know them intimately. Doing sort of a ghost situation about sewing. I didn't. Yeah, it's weather like this, too. You will rip out the crotch. Once your legs get just a little sticky because of sweat, whoof. It's gone.

Crutches blow out. Yeah. And don't get me started on silk boxers. Yeah. It's like the clutch for the pants. Are you still doing silk boxers? No, there's just a time as a kid that that was. the thing to get.

I have self-lunitunes boxers. Those crotters went. Yeah. From belly button to the top ear crack. Silk should not be the closest material to your penis. Slightly little boner makers. No thanks. I don't eat that.

It sounds like it should be. Yeah, but it really should be the furthest from your penis. Yeah, yeah. Sweaty little boner maker? It should be a hat. Yeah. You should have a silk hat. Yeah.

You should have a silk beanie. Yeah. At least it ain't my penis, embroider. At least it ain't a dick. Isaac, you heard him say sweaty little boner makers? I did see, I didn't hear that. And then I chose not to take it in. Just not to listen.

Those boxers, they just rub on, it's just, that's what they're designed to do when you're 12. What are you doing? I always thought they were just impressed women. I feel like we weren't in the right decade for silk boxing. Yeah. Boxers were really big back then. I can't imagine a non-boxer brief world. Right.

I was years before seeing someone seeing me in my underwear. Why was I prepared? Yeah. With silk. Yeah. Also, maybe I should have started with the outside pants. Yeah. Maybe those shouldn't have had mustard on them.

Yeah. Oh, that's crazy when you get a stain on your, like a food stain on underwear. That's another level. I bet. My underwear has got barbecue sauce on it. You got to throw those out. You can't have. stains on your underwear.

I don't even eat at home. You're like, no, this isn't a problem. It's the front. It's on the front. As long as the butt screen, that's not where poop would be. There's poop there too, but it's where poop goes. It's poop in the poop part. Now, the way we determine the order of this draft where we're drafting board games is a

rollicking game of rock papers scissors just played between the three of you. Rock paper says, now we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh, David wins. The devil's victory. A paper against two. Are your scissors broken?

Oh, I thought. An unnatural victory. The odd man out. Whoever throws a unique item. Otherwise, it gets too confusing. I don't know how we... I'd understand if I watched a YouTube video. We have a YouTube splinter coming out with Isaac.

Okay, good. Explaining it. David, as the winner, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, it will remind you of the serpentine draft. And what is that? It's a great question.

It's like that feather falling in forest gum. Oh. Hmm. Do, do, do, do do do do do do. Pretty good, right? Tom Hanks. That is good. Pretty good.

I can do it. Do you want to hear my Tom Hanks impression? Yeah, let's hear it. There's no crying in baseball. That's great. Pretty good, right? Yeah. Wilson!

That's great, too. If I can yell it, I can do it Tom Hanks. Do Forrest Gump. No. Do the monologue from Philadelphia. AIDS! I forgot they edited that out. I'm just screaming AIDS.

The long zoom in. Oh, this is going to be good. AIDS. You know, the director's cut is good. It's good. Barry Levinson went off. Is that your director at it, Isaac? Philadelphia?

Yeah. Good call. If so, I have no idea. B-Lev. It was directed by Jonathan Demm. Just like. Like I say, Jonathan Demi. Yeah.

Demi? Demi. Devito. He has a son or a dad named Ted. Who'll never know. Are they brothers? We don't know. Ted and Jonathan.

One of them's dead. One of them's Ted. Better off Ted. I'm Ted tired. You're better off Ted. You are better off Ted. Teddy said, go. One of the Scots is dead.

Ridley and Tony. It's Tony. Yeah, maybe less than peace. The other two Tony is still alive and kicking. The other two Tonys? Tony, Tony, Tony and Tony. Oh, yes. Ian and I are still alive, I think.

Rigotony. That's a pasta. Rigotony is a pasta. Me, I'm an impasta. I'm telling you to be in Carmel right now. I'm not. We're doing a real slow freestyle. Is this what it's like when you're in the shower?

A conversational freestyle? Lorica, who are you talking to that rhymed? She said, did I just hear you say, I'm an Ian? It's a slow freestyle. Hope you have a while. Listen to my song. It's going to take long. To get through these raps, I don't give a crap.

I give a poop. My favorite song is shoot. Oh, man. You just did that like it was hard? I don't give a crap. I'll give a poop. Salt and pepper. They got a song called shoot.

Did you ever go to those parties when you're young, wherever you're forced a freestyle rap? Oh, God. I did it on my own a couple times. Yeah, yeah. You did it on your own. And on my own, I remember doing it out of a, in a parked car doing it for two girls. I freestyle. Oh, boy, oh, brother.

And then they got pregnant or? Yeah. Were you laughing during it? Did you know it was funny or were you like hard? He couldn't. He was acting hard. He was double hard. I think I thought I was doing a decent job.

Yeah. And that's unfortunate. We had just done a skate. I did one. Did you have that thick Midwest accent? Of course I did. I was in two skate demos my whole life. One of them, Andy Pitts, let us skate with them for the five bro team.

Yeah. Which was really awesome. I was very honored. The other one, we were, this guy in Sioux City started a skateboard company and had a demo in Milford, Iowa, I think. We did the demo. I was really feeling myself afterwards, so freestyled for a couple girls. Oh, yeah.

Did you take them to the car? Let's keep this hot hand going. They came over to the car, and then they ended up coming and hanging out in Sioux Falls. How far is that? Three hours. It's by Okobo. It's like Okoboji to Sioux Falls. Oh, yeah, of course. Okay. You had to put it, you had to put it in context.

Everybody knows where Okoboji is. I determined everything in distance from Okabojee. The Bojee Falls. Rolls run. Yeah. Yeah. My uncle made it in 2.4 par six. Yeah.

A lot of uncles in Boji. I sprayed my ankle. My doctor said I have to be bed rested for, I have to do bed rest for as long as it takes to get between Okuboji in Houston. My favorite Migo song is bad in Okoboji. So now there's a little something about me that you guys didn't know. That's great. I can't believe we speak to do.

I could have gotten you freestyled for some girls in Iowa in a parked car. You don't think I would have figured that out? And then if I was like, David, start guessing shit about me that you've never heard. Yeah, that would be the first thing. Five minutes. Five minutes you would have gotten that specific too. A fun draft would be guessing things about each other. We should guess things we haven't done. Yeah.

Haven't done. We should draft things we think the other hasn't done. Has it done. Never have you ever. Never have you ever. That's good. I think I'd be easy. It'd be easy to figure me out.

I think I'm pretty readable. Although I got some curb balls in me. Yeah. I bought a bunch of weird moves. You do. You're an outdoorsman. I'm doing weird shit that surprises me constantly. You've been involved in rare metals.

Yeah. I wouldn't have guessed it, but we know it. I changed my wife's air filter. Who knows what's going to happen today? I killed a guy. There is that. What? It's been a day.

You tried to keep me from changing my wife's hair filter. He said nobody stands between me and this air filter. I said, I don't have an auto zone number, but I have this. Gun. No, I don't have the... Scan that. Now, David is the winner. Oh, you did the feather.

What will you order today's draft me? Okay. David Chris Sean Ian. David Chris. Sean Ian. Hot Corner. The order is David Chris Sean Ian. We are drafting board games. We're going to get to the first pick, which is David's right after this short break.

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Put the fear of God in me every time. A lot of fun. scientifically or on a technological level, I don't know how it works. I always thought it was like shocking you. I don't really know what happens. Always a good time though. Whatever that metal touches other metal. Yeah. And it's old to the tickers what it does.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. It's like, it's literally like performing surgery, I imagine. It is anxiety inducing. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's stressed. Even today, I don't think I have the cahones.

No, I was never good at it. And then you would just touch the sides like you did it on purpose. No, I just think it's funny. This is stupid. Yeah, you start making a beat. I'll get the bread basket. Sean starts freestyling for the Iowa girls. I'll get the bread basket.

Operation. I'm going to drop bombs. That's a slant rhyme, but I don't have time to do normal rhyme. Does this count as a board game? Yeah. Yes. That's what I was. Is it not a board game?

Operation's a board game. It comes in a bomb. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, if you look up the definition. You said that like you've never played operation. I've played it.

I just, it's not on a board. Yeah, but it's a table game. The body is my board. Right. Okay, all right. All right. Hey, hey, hey, hey. You got me.

You got me there. It's a board game. Yeah. It's the definition of like, something goes on a table or something, I think is like the definition of a board game. Oh, it's not about the board. It's about. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something like Yatsy. I don't think there's a board. I can just pick another thing. No, no, no, operation was definitely on the list. I played a large-scale version of operation at the Oregon State Fair once, and I was no better at that.

How big were the tons? It didn't make it any better? It was not, like, pitch, or... It wasn't like human body sized. It was probably, like, doubled. With, like, a burger flipper or something? Those are slightly bigger tongs. Okay.

Yeah. I think instead of playing board games as a kid, I just was in front of the TV because I have the commercial jingle for Operation Memorized and I didn't know until now it goes a little like this. Operation You're the doctor Having so much fun Operation You're the doctor

Got the patient on the run And then there's a kid And he's like Don't touch the sides And they go Butterfingers Yeah butterfingers That was the commercial

Why You stupid bitch Don't touch the size Why is that in my head Because you're getting a colonoscopy right now Oh that's big Yeah The recesses of my brain

Once something's up my ass I'm like a rain man man. Before we were recording, it was revealed that Fairbanks... Oh, I screwed out. That's out of nowhere then. Under... Completely out of nowhere. You're like, what is...

Why is that of anything to do with it? Under anesthesia, remember the... For a colonoscopy, remember the quadratic formula. Apparently, I was reciting it, and I was just... One, I added a negative or didn't include a negative to what is a fraction over a... I don't even know it. I don't know it now.

That's the thing. That's why I'm saying about, if someone explains board game rules to me, I panic and it's the same anxiety that made me not take in math and algebra. Yeah, it's the same feeling. But I think I could do it now with an adderol. Anyway, I remembered the quadratic equation. It's hard to say. Quadratic equation to want to be erratic, but I'm bad at it going up in the attic.

Is this what the rest of this episode? I'm surprised you didn't turn into a girl from Iowa right there. I feel like a girl from Iowa. Slift off these slides off the couch. I'll see you in Sioux Falls. Have fun driving from Okoboji. About three hours. I'm going to see me in Sioux Falls.

One of these days, we're going to Sioux Falls. Ian Carmel in Sioux Falls, yes, I am. No, you're not. Everybody loves Jewish people in Sioux Falls. I bet that's going to be great. That can't be true. Is there a Sioux Falls in a Sioux City? What?

Is there a Sioux City? There is. They're very different. Sioux City, if anyone's listening and is from Sioux City, I'm lying. Two City sucks. Yeah, unless you're there for this ass really tough. They're so tough. That's why I had to cover my base is right there.

I think you fooled them. They think I'm kidding. Those dipshits. If you're in Two City, a woman is outside trying to... A woman in a doctor's outfit outside. They're trying to express herself. Go see to it that's fast. That I'll distract him.

It's terrible. What I don't like about operation is the guy's haircut. This guy's dipshit hair cut. Oh, it's like a monk haircut. He's got like, well, he's got like the, the center part. Yeah, it always was like a fourth stooge. Yeah, it was a haircut of the time, though. It's like, what is this?

The 70s? When Operation came out? 60s? I'm going to guess the 1950s. All right, I have the number in front of me. Hold on, hold on, hold on. 1962. 1951.

1971. 58. Sean was the closest. that came out in 1965. But there were doctors in the 50s. Of course. Was it Milton or Bradley who came up with it? John Spinello.

Italian? He's not Italian. John Spinello? God, no wonder it took to the 60s. He was a student when he designed it. A med student? At the University of Illinois. Industrial Design student.

Oh, interesting. Chris, time for your first pick I know that this isn't going to be unanimous but I really like Pictionary. Oh, I love pictures. Oh, yeah, pictures. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Run me down the rules of Pictionary real quick. Refresh me on what exactly Pictionary is.

It's the teams are you got a drawer and a guesser and it's basically an object that you read on a card and you show it to the other team and your guesser has to guess what you're drawing and just even I grew up drawing a lot

that's what I did in lieu of board games I think but if it said grapes I would spend I'd start with a stem I'd do a circle I put where the did you like a shine on the grape and then the person that just does some haphazard circles someone will go grapes and I'm like but that's a terrible drawing

so I had to learn you got to draw fast not well. It's for speed, not quality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's... You just want the points on the board. Yeah, and so for me, it was a game of strategy.

Yeah. Because if it says model T Ford, you better know what a model T Ford looks like. And they'll get esoteric with that. Yeah. It's not, we're not grapes always. Yeah, right. I'm trying to think of something complicated. Earth Day.

You might get Earth Day. You might get Earth Day. You know, the Kremlin. Yeah, my mom would start drawing a model with a plus sign. And someone's like, naked lady. Naked lady T. Ford. Naked lady pickup truck. Picking up a naked lady.

I loved Pictionary. Yeah. You can do the big version of it too. You know, on the big, like the... They had the game, the actual show, right? The picture of show? Oh, yeah. Rip off the big old piece of paper and just keep going.

If you had to draw... Okay, like, happy birthday. What would you do? draw. Immediately a cake. Cake. Cake. Immediately.

And then a party hat of a head with like a mouth sideways with like some lines coming out of signify a vocal. Would you do a point? Would you draw a bunch of lines through the smile? Aggressively. Look. That's what that's a better like clue. But speedwise you just got to do a round thing with a candle and then a smiley face.

Yeah. So I'll go, happy birthday cake or birthday. Happy birthday. You know, like because I would do. profile of a guy Oiny hat he's 16 so he has his first mustache

like a half hour later he's holding his report card he got all these he's that's pretty good mood he gets catch her in the rise so okay you would read that somewhere around six seven grade yeah

John Hinckley's favorite book so I got to draw 12 year old Jody Foster it gets very accused pinball machine unexplainable puddle yeah

I never watched the movie, so you can't be offended. Sean Jordan, time for your first pick. Scrabble. Scrabble, huh? Grable. That's my wife's game. I love Scrabble, gravel, gravel, gravel. Fucking rules, dude.

Scrabble. All day. What? What's your arms up again? Scrabble, gravel, gravel, gravel. Scrabble, grovel, grovel, grovel. Have you said that before? Uh-uh.

Scrabble, grabble, grabble. I'm sure it sounded like I never said. you were so confident. I'm in this backpack wrap mentality. I'm just trying to make rhymes. That's your... That's your... You're not trying to rabble.

Scrabble. Rouser. Cole Houser. Come to my house, sir. That's good. Colhouser. Come to my house, sir. That's good.

Sir, loin. Kick you in the groin. Break down my rhymes? I don't have the to arm. Yeah. Those ones. They really stretch it out. I don't have the to have spline.

Took that word. Stretch it out like taffy. Makes mouths water Toster biscuits That is a crazy reference To make a rhyme You all of a sudden have to adopt Accent

And then do you stick with that accent? Those you're in it Those tweets where Eminem found 50 things That rhyme with orange You're like None of them rhyme with orange But if Eminem's saying them they do Yeah

Scourge Right Horage Horage Oh no it's not an orange Where does porridge No, because it's not a... Is porridge rhyme with orange?

It'd have to be porringe. Yeah. Yeah, I play Scrabble. I told you I played Scrabble. You beat Dana at Banana Grams once when you were blackout drunk. Twice. But not Scrabble. Never played.

But I probably wouldn't. I'm bad at spelling words. You've never played? Scrabble? Yeah, I just, I wouldn't beat Dana at Scrabble, not even close. Dana's insane. My wife is insane at Scrabble. Those long words.

No one, I won't play with her. No one in her family will play with her because it's humiliate. I would love to quit. Well, I think it's the last. Come on. Play for that. And more leaning into your strong suit, which is coming up with words. Scrabble is the freestyle hip-hop of board games.

Banagograms is the freestyle version of that. This sounds like school-ass shit if I ever heard. Bananaagrams can be 63-letter words. Tatt. William Howard Taff. Scrabble, it was just my, like, the first game that I've really played with any adults. Like my grandma and my mom would always want to play. my aunts and it was just fun

I was always been a staple now it does seem fun to kick the shit out of a kid and scrabble We're an old lady It's not a word grandma I like the little player When you've been through two wars it is Like the little The little holder thing

Little Eel guys Crick's not a word it's creak I like you when it's loose scrabble though I don't like the one of the deluxe one with the little bumps What's a bomb? Oh where you know the tiles lock in The tiles that locked in No no no no

You don't like the board that spins? No, I like the loose one. I like the classic scrabble. It fits right under your arm like a Tommy gun. Do you keep it in a guitar case? Yeah, I go to a pool hall. If you had scrabble in a guitar case, I'd beat the shit out of you. Hey, guys.

You swing dancing motherfucker. Yeah, I'll play a song. I'll play a song of words. What's the movie called? Which one? The one where he has the gun in the guitar case? Desperado. Desperado.

Antonio Benetton. Dead ass. Yeah, Scrabble. Love it. Scrabble, it is. Scrabble, grabble. I'm going to take one, and I'm opening myself. I'm opening myself to a vulnerability here. Oh, you're taking a real one? I'm taking a real game, but I'm taking trivial pursuit.

The game at which I am dominant, but, and I will say this, so you don't have to, Sean did beat me when he was Blackout drunk. It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my life. I think him Blackout Trump is like you in a colonoscopy. I think you're right. It all comes up.

Yeah. I do miss. All my knowledge is it floats. Dana and I were both shown sober. You should play Sean with a finger up his ass. Rematch. I'd like to see that. Chris can't get a cold mouse to me.

Sean blackout drunk and we just play, have them play seven games. We just wake up. Hey, are Chris and I still friends? Yeah. Better than ever. Better than ever. Yeah.

Trivial person. I'm like. I'm amazing at that sort of stupid trivia. I'm really good at it. Well, there's so many additions, too. I've played versions where it's like, why am I getting everything? And then I realize it's a television shows in the 90s version.

It's like, well, that's why. I know everything there is to know about. Nothing about World War II and this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have that broad where I know just enough about every little thing. And there's no math in it.

Right. And the kind of science in it is like memorizing fact science. and not like, oh, I have to know, like, formulas and shit science. Right. I've seen you clean up on Jeopardy, almost every time we watch. Good at Jeopardy pursuit. And I love the little pie pieces. I love the aesthetic of trivial pursuit.

And it's fun to feel good at something. And that's why I took it first. Yeah. But, again, I have to point out, this man. Right here. As drunk as I've seen you. Possibly. Yeah, probably.

Because I think you barfed that night. I did. It was. And you don't barf. No, it was the, I came down from, during COVID, during COVID one time. You drove it, you rented like a Mustang. I didn't. They gave me a Mustang because they, my car was getting fixed.

Yeah. So they gave me a Mustang to drive. That was like a white Mustang. Yeah. No, a charger. Charger. Like a white Dodge charger. Shot down I-5 and a white Dodge Charger to get drunk.

You just signed up for the military. To get drunk, eat Dintai Fung and beat my wife and I at board games. The whole time, all lives matters flipping, everybody hop on the Five. Everybody gets it. Taking my mask off when I go into businesses. It was fucking great. Yeah,

that was fun. And my second pick, I'm going to take a game that, like, honestly, my life does not have room for it anymore. But when it did, I loved it. I'm taking risk.

Oh, I used to love playing risk. But that shit takes seven or eight hours. Yeah. Yeah. To really go through it. You got to leave.

the game. And I won't, perhaps we'll talk about another one too, but it's like I won't do it if we're not all agreed that we're going to do this. That's right. I won't do it. It's like, there's no point. Yeah. I don't want to get four hours in and have someone say like, ah, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I'm bored. Well, no, you're in. Risk is for when you're locked in a cabin, like a puzzle. Yeah. Because you can't just start it and then quit. Put in two hours. Go walk on the beach. Come back. Another two hours. I'll still have my stronghold in Argentina, you know? Well, it's Papua New Guinea, my friend. That's where the stronghold is.

That's where these, that's not me. That's not like an Ian Carmel strategy. Uh-huh. It's Papua New Guinea. Yeah, you take over Oceana, and then you can just get the armies every turn, and it's almost impossible to break that. It's because there's one way in, one way out. I haven't played in a long time.

Oh, yeah. It's great. It's a great game. I don't know that I've ever played. It takes a long time. There's a game we had, and this isn't my pick. I'm just, it's, I, the board game, It was like there was hills, there was little cars, there was families.

It was called life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, look up. And that, yeah, I like just miniature things. It came with toys. I do too. Yeah. I do too. It came with toys.

I like having the little canon, the little horse guy. Yeah. A little soldier. Yeah. The old versions had just like a one, a five, and a ten. Get that shit out of here. Yeah. A cannon.

Horsey boy. Uh-huh. Boy. That's what I'm looking for. That's the addition of risk I want to play. Sean, time for your second pick. Monopoly. Yeah, Monopoly.

Yeah. One two punch. But Monopoly is the other one where it's like, if you're not in for three, it's a little quicker than risk. But Monopoly can also take five hours. It can take a long fucking time. And if you're not in, you know,

or if you stop trying, ugh, you're missing, you're missing turns. Somebody can roll for me. No. No. You get maybe one of those and it's got to be something important. Like you have to be, I don't know, flipping the cookies or whatever.

a child flipping the cookies. That kind of shit. It can't just be like, someone will go to the couch, start watching something. Get the fucked up here. And yeah, I know that doesn't sound fun. It's not fun.

We're playing monopoly. It's a business. Yeah, when is money ever fun? Get over here. Do you cheat or do you allow a lot of cheating, corporate espionage, all that type of stuff going on? I like, if people can justify it, sure. I don't want someone hand in someone money,

but like if somebody finds out a way to steal money under the table deals, you know, dirty landlords, I'm in. You know what's fun? You ever play Monopoly Go? No. No. No. No. Played it at the beach the other day. It's so fun. Is it just like a shorter version of Monopoly? Yeah, kind of it's like the rules are a little different, but it's a lot, it's a lot of fun.

Very, yeah. It's just more portable. Yeah. Just a solid, you know, building up your hotels. I love that. That's what the, have you ever seen the Trump board game? It is. It's got it on his book. Yeah, it's just monopoly. Yeah, it's just monopoly. Yeah, different properties you can acquire. Mm-hmm.

Which is a very Trump thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's the same game. Trumpopoly. Trumpopoly. Well, they have all those blankopolis. You know, they have like go to Oregon.

They have duck opally and beaver oply. Yeah. They probably got like Lord of the Ringsoply. For sure, they have Lord of the Rings opally. Game of Prer. Yeah. Mordor. Mor do.

Reiser. You could learn Spanish easily. You think so? Yeah, you can roll that tongue. That's half the battle. Ruffles have ridges. Mordor. Mordor.

Morda. Morda. Morda. Redrum. Redrum. Redrum. Redrum. Mother.

Sorry. She was getting activated. Yeah, I didn't even have control of that. Someone's fingered my ass. Where am I? Somebody's just going to shoot the president after that. You guys be pretty good freestyle

I'll show you the door door door I'll give you no core door That is your new freestyle If you ever have to freestyle rap That is your new character The rapping urniqui Ian Carmel

The rapping unikai Do the rapping urniqui character Ian No no no No I don't want to do that I just came on me Please please do the wrapping Just me. Mordor.

I treat you like a habit. Give it to you rabbit. You're a Russian Uriqaeda. Yeah. You just kind of turn in out. I have to keep myself interested. I think they were. I think they were Russian.

You just turned into Andre. They're trying. Anybody want the peanut? Now that's a first hour. Up on the mountain I'm a skeener. Now this is the third episode of the day. Up on the mountain. That's great.

God, you got it. That's good. I'm a big time freestyle. I didn't want to, I wanted someone else to point it out. Yeah. I'm glad that it has happened like that. And you can beat box. I can't beat box.

I won't beat box. I know. You said it before. You're not going to do it on here. Chris, time for your second pick. Ah. Oh. Boom.

Yeah. What was that? What was that? Do that. That was crazy. What are you doing a bad boy? I was trying. with or without chubby checker

I have to remind myself of the oh, cranium. Oh, cranium's fun. Oh, I love cranium. If you like Trivial Pursuit, a little bit of everything. All of a sudden, yeah, people in your family

have to do an impression. Yeah. Like, you really have to perform and I love making people. I mean, we don't need that, you know, but it's fun to do with your family, yeah, and make your mom do like a Kennedy accent. Yeah, and then have to do clay.

Yeah, you have to do. There's like a skull round, there's a drawing round. That's the only problem with that board game is you do have to replace the clay. Yeah, it dries up. It dries up. It goes the way of a Play-Doh. Yeah.

Getting some cranium. I thought your girl was on a taneum. till I be slaying them. Yeah. And then I go. Didn't you see her at the palladium? And then I lay with them. The palladium.

What if I'm a hype man that just asks questions, but they're probably right? You're like to make sure the ball stays in the air, guy? Wasn't she at the palladium? That's actually not a bad idea. That's a great idea. Let's do it. Question answer rap album. Wasn't she at the palladium?

Man, there's a lot of questions on this one. Yeah. Cranium, dude. I'm not freestyling, I'm just talking about. I know it's hard to differentiate. Cranium board game. Yeah, what were the five rounds? David, do you ever play cranium?

Yeah, not for a while, but it's fun. It's been a while for me, too. It's like arts and leisure. Isn't it like, it's like almost set up like, uh... Isn't it funny? There's creative cat, which is drawing, sculpting with clay. Right. Datahead was his trivia facts and number crunching, star performers,

acting, humming, or singing. Yes. And word worm, which is spelling a word backwards or a word puzzles. Yeah, it's really. all the board games in one you really only need that one. They give you where they're like hum

don't stop believing or something. Yes, exactly right. It's hard to do. I think I fucking nailed it. Do it again? Lonely Okay. Okay.

All right here, I got one for you. Okay. This is how we do it It's Friday night, right? Friday night I have to have to get in a fight What night is here? That's on Friday night?

Montel, was it Saturday? No. I swear the party is over on the west side. Gee, do you guys have clearance for all these songs? How many can we hum? We can hum up to 10 seconds of any song, right? Absolutely, yes. Oh, wow.

It's fair hum use. Fair hum use. Fair hum use. Sounds like my Friday night. Hey. You're getting that cranium? Dave, what's your second picks? Taboo.

Taboo. How's Taboo go again? You like, it's like you and your partner, but you have words you can't say, but you've got to get them to do a thing. Yeah. And then there's a buzzer that the other person, so one person is the reader. The other person holds the buzzer and the reader says it to you and you got to pick it. So I got to get you to say like cabbage. Yeah, but I can't, but you can't say like patch kids.

Yeah. There's like a list of things. It's kind of like $25,000 pyramid. I don't know that game I think Irish people eat TV shit Yeah yeah yeah pussy Potatoes

No the other one Yeah it's so much fun Yeah It's like if you get a person that you know really well Because then you can do inside Inside shit where it's like The thing I saw Ian eat off the floor Right

You know what I mean Or just twins Are you only off the floor Or whatever It's so wet You played taboo with twins Yeah my They basically can read each other's minds.

Oh, twins? Yeah, don't ever play any of these games with twin siblings. If you play with other couples, too, people take it as like an intimacy to me see test, it feels. Right. Like, how did you not know it was golden to? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you don't remember when I was a kid? You don't remember what I said to you in the back of Target two weeks ago?

Board games have caused so many divorces. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think they push people apart. Yeah. Well, they can make, maybe it's just like a trial by fire. Maybe it strengthens you too. I mean, it depends.

It depends on who the prison is. Going back to ravioli off the floor, I think that's one of the worst things you could eat off the floor. It's so wet. It's like the one you can't get away. It's wet and flat. It's up everything from the floor.

Yeah. You got to eat dry stuff off the floor. Yeah. Ravioli's like eating a mop off the floor. As far as like a solid food to eat off the floor, like obviously a guacamole or yogurt would be the worst thing because it's like wet.

But like a thing that has like a constitutional body to it, ravioli's got to be way up. You got to eat like chips off the floor. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Pretzels. Cracker.

Yeah. Windows to the wall. But like, that's where the floor is. Yeah. The floor is ravioli. That's my river to the sea. Let's pitch that to Netflix. The floor's ravioli.

You know, you jump from couch to couch. You can't touch the floor because it's ravioli. Ravioli everywhere. Come on. To fall into the ravioli. It's hot man. This is the first meeting before they decided it should be lava. Well, you know, hot.

ravioli can get. The floor is ravioli, right? Where are you from? Canada. Anyway, floor's ravioli, everyone played it everywhere. Don, I was out to eat the other one. We were at Gipolis, you know, on Madison. Anyway, my plate comes out.

It is steaming hot. Steaming hot. I think it's been under the, you know, and they put it up on the thing. Oh, like the heat lamp. The heat lamp. It was on the heat lamp, right? Okay, so I'm hungry, though. I'm hungry. I skipped lunch that day and I had a long day, right?

So I bite into it. Ooh, the ravioli, it's so hot, it burns my mouth. And then it occurred to me, what if you fell into a giant ravioli? What length would you go to to make sure that didn't happen? Yeah, or a ravioli mountain. No, no, no, no, no, that's not really the show we're thinking of, done. It's kind of a different avenue. There's a hole in the top of the mountain filled with ravioli.

And once every 50 years, that ravioli. is ready. It erupts. And it ends up on the floor. A ravioli starts undulating. Entire villages. You know that it's going to blow. Ancient Italians locked in place.

My ravioli. Stuck in the ravioli. The undulating ravioli, I'd like for you to open a food cart called that. Welcome to Sean Jordan's. Adelaiding ravioli? Poise-Codal Post-coital street food. Welcome to Sean Gordon's post-coital.

If you do it right, it's all post-coital. David, your third pick. Scatterories. Oh, yes. That's one of them for sure. A lot of word games, I guess. But Scategories is so fun. Yeah, I love Scatterories.

I like keeping it with the first letter, then it really makes you narrow in. Yeah, it's like letter Q, and then you have to come up with like a car. And it's every time you have the same one somebody else. You guys don't get. Yeah, that's great.

We played at your 40th. Yeah, we did. And then me, Alana came home and bought it. Yeah, it's a great game. Sometimes. I love Scattergories. Uh-uh.

Sorry. No, you stand on that. I stand on. I'm not sorry, actually. Ten toes. Ten toes on that burp. Could have been a slurp. Scatigories is a good party game.

Yeah, that's a good one. It's a lot of fun. And it's not a team game. So you can only take yourself out. So it's a good couple game. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking, can I, uh, can I pass?

Password. I like the game password. I played it as a kid. It just came to me. And the cable guy? The password is, nipple. I, that's, this had, it was like cards and there was a transparent, red thing you would slide up.

I remember that. That was called something else. Was that password or was that it was green? Oh. It was green, I say. And honestly, I think it's a lot like the game we just talked about. Categories? Yeah, yeah.

I think there's only seven games. Yeah. Like there's only so many stories ever been told. Was it outburst? Outburst is fun too. I've played, these are all my sisters such. We should get my, let's call my sister. Let's get her on the war.

Where is she? In Wilcane, Washington, currently playing a movie. board game. Spokepton. So I've played a lot of them. Yes. It is.

I mean... Spokepton? Yeah. That's Ian's rap name. There is a lot of crime there. Wait, genuinely? No, like the old Dutch Compton.

Oh, okay. Yeah, it's more like meth-based. It's really appropriation. But there was enough crime. The crime rate, yeah, you could get

shook down while skating under the bridge. What happens when McElmore blows up? Okay, it got pretty rough. Yeah. Yeah. That's why Sean had to leave. Yeah. I made it rough.

Yeah. Yeah, McClumar, you can get robbed. They'll take your kneeboard and your keyboard. Good shirt for the boardwalk. Password is the game? How does password work? It's a little bit like Scattergoy's? No, it's a little bit like taboo, right?

It's funny. I have fleeting memories that are of joy from childhood, but I don't remember the details. I remember enjoying password. It's probably safer that way. Yeah, let's not dig it up. We don't need to crack you open. Yeah, I think it is a lot like categories, yeah.

I think it's the original categories. I'm going to go, it's my turn. No, Sean's turn. Can we take a break? We'll take a break in a second. Okay. You know what we're going to take a break right now. We'll be right back.

And we're back, welcome back to Allifamacy Everything. You always spite me on these breaks. Yeah, but I'm in control. Okay. I'm in charge. Yeah, you are. Me. I'm going to go Candyland.

Sure. I'll nod to being a kid. Max has a version of it, which is a unicorn. They just did Candyland, but it's a unicorn theme. They had to put more, you? Wasn't it in Caneyland originally? Have a unicorn in or no? I don't think so.

It had like the gumdrop princess or something. Remember there was that dude made out of licorice I didn't like the looks of him one bit? No, I didn't like it. Yeah, there was a foreign guy from peanut brittle Island. Mm-hmm. It was...

I don't think it was canon that he was foreign, wasn't it? Are we playing the same game? I think you could chutes and ladders. Yeah, Candyline. I loved it. I mean, they were all four. They were all foreigners. First game I ever really learned how to play, I think.

Right after my 21st birthday. It doesn't even have dice, right? You just pick up a card. Yeah, you just draw a card each time and it gives you a color and then you go to that color. Sometimes it'll have like a plum on it or a peppermint, a piece of licorice, whatever. Then you go to that space. Maybe they make you go back, maybe you go forward, da-da-da-da. But pretty right down Main Street, you know.

I recall it being one of the first games that I said, that's for babies. Yeah, that's the main that's for babies game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is just all the colors just pop out at you. It's for babies. I'm over here doing surgery. Yeah. I'm getting my doctor.

I wish I had time for Candy Land. I got to get this guy's bread basket up by three. A loaf of bread where his stomach should be. I think it's celia. This guy's going to turn a corner any second here. Yeah, Lord Liquorice. Grandma Nut. Grandma Nut.

That was her name. She lived in the peanut brittle house. Turned into an adult game real quick. Wow. Grandma Jolly, the official gumdrop mountain. greeter. Is there a grandpa nut? There's no grandpa nut. She's beyond her. Oh no, I was talking to her.

Oh, yeah. Is there a grandpa nut? Grandin'all nut? King Candy, the Imperial Head Bonbon, and Grand Juby of Candyland. He disappears. There's Mr. Mint. Yeah. Yeah. They actually shot Grand Jujubi, and that's how the First World War started.

Yeah, that's right. Archduke. Grand Jujubi. There's also a queen frosting. Grandma Nut and Queen Frost? Wow, I don't think I ever played this game. I don't want to play it more. I'm playing Candy Lane a little bit. I don't like how you said it. Couple two, three.

Couple two, three, one. Nothing. I'm going to take, I'm going to go with the original Brain, Hurt, explainer board game that kind of birthed on the scene. I'm going to take Settlers of Catan. Oh, okay. It is fun. I don't know if I've ever played it.

Is it a weekend commitment? No, it's like an hour or two. Okay. It's an hour or two commitment, maybe three. Okay. But it's like a resource controlling and collecting game, but it is kind of fun. And you can play it with like four or five people. It's very much a long-term relationship pre-kids come over to our house for a house party, sort of like house party for a dinner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a dinner, not a party. I'm picturing a buck. ass house party going on. Yeah, you're going to play Cat Tantan in the middle. I bet. I guarantee you that's happened. Sure.

I guarantee you that's happened. But this was the original one where like I remember was first being explained. It was like, all right, my head feels hot. I have a headache, but I will play it. And I had a good time. I like Cat Tant. Yeah. That's fun.

Wait, that's what you actually said the first time you played it. Something like that. It's a strategy, though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Because you like to build roads. Some games start before you open the box. Yeah. Yeah. Gun Some games happen before You got that Go to dandibori.com

Hit your copy of gun The game that starts Before you open the box Oh, that's so sick And then I'm going to take chess Oh, I forgot about that A game that certainly happens on a board

I was in chess club and grade school Which fits into everything else Everybody knows about me in grade school There's a word Sean thinking Are you good at chess? Not anymore But I was in third grade

Were you like Did you have like the standard opening And then you could bust moves And set traps and stuff? Yeah, I could do that kind of stuff I was like one of the better kids at my school And then I just sort of trailed off But they give us a little trophies

Somewhere I have a trophy of like a night How deep was the chess team? Not a lot, not deep Just club It was a club Yeah, yeah, yeah Did you ever? play like tournament? No, it was all

inter-school. Well, we did, like inter-school tournaments and stuff like Did you have the clock? Like, were you doing the timer? No. Okay. Yeah. I think early on, my parents spoke, they just sat me down and said, hey, you're a checkers kid. You're never going to be a chess kid. Been seeing you move around a little bit. You've been in a lot of mood. Interacting with your environment. Yeah. You're a checkers kid. Doesn't even seem like you're paying attention right now. I'm not. But stack those triple jumps, you know.

Yeah, yeah, there's strategy. Yeah. I just keep looking at my phone because my sister's sending me board games to talk about. Did she send outburst over or what? I remember that having a red filter distinctly. Oh, maybe that is. She did send a picture. You should see.

I said we're about to start recording, which she keeps going. And, yeah, it is password. Oh, it was password. That is password. Gisante. Oh. Okay. Yeah.

And I have played it and enjoyed it. Anyway, reinforcing my past guest. Gass word. Gast. Every time I play chess, right away, I'm like, I don't, I have no idea how I'm supposed to win. I know how you win. Get the king. You got to get a checkmate.

Yeah. But I just, it's all random. There's never, I've never had a strategy. I'm not good at it anymore. Dana's good. She plays on her phone or her computer a lot. You don't think it would come back to you? No.

No. I never had it that deep. Yeah, I always get confused about that opening dance you're supposed to play. Yeah, there's like three, four moves that you're supposed to standard open with. You, I could see. Couldn't you see Isaac getting good at chess? Sorry interrupted. Is he not playing it?

I've played a little. I tried to learn like the London system. I don't know. It's a whole thing. Every time Isaac goes to dinner, he's playing chess. What? Every girl in the room. He's playing chest.

Oh, okay. And chest wheezing the nugs. Snoochie boochie. I don't remember. Sean, time for your fourth pick. Does battleship count? Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. Love it. We just played the other day, Lauren. I went and got some donuts and played battleship. Yeah. Awesome. That's great. And again, that comes into, it comes with miniature toys, so I was a big fan.

Look at this little boat. I just wanted a dollhouse. That's all I wanted. That would have, you could have ended your search. Yeah. Would you want a masculine dollhouse? Like a doll condo? When I was a kid, I remember.

I remember my... Adaldo. I wanted to make a mini house. And I think it made my dad nervous so he bought all the balls of wood and everything to make like a store frontage. We'll make like a Wells Fargo Bank and a mercantile. Yeah.

Oh, we'll make places for you to work. Yeah, yeah. It's like we'll do a cowboy store, but we're not making a dollhouse. But cut to COVID, that's the first thing I did is I made a tiny little bookstore. Oh, I love that. That's fantastic.

You know, it's a whole world. They have tiny little buzz saws and everything. Really? Yeah. Was that very satisfying? I mean, it was a way to make three weeks just passed by to make all these little books. I'll show you a picture.

I'd love to see a picture of that. It came with a kit, but then you can add stuff, modify. It's fun. But then what do you do? I don't play with dolls, you guys. But I did want to make like a little stuff. The reason I'm into it is, you know, like Wallace and Gras. Like the backgrounds, the miniature dioramas that they do claymation in, that's, I think, why I liked it.

They look so, they're so whimsical and beautiful. Yeah, and you know they're like that big when they're making those animations. I want to do like a stop motion. A guy like grabbing a book off the shelf and sitting down. That's all I wanted to do. But that shit takes so long. Somebody neck does stop motion. He's got two kids in a job.

How do you do stop motion? Right. At night. It's absolutely. It's crazy how long that shit takes. Miniature, like the model train sets, I could see eventually getting into building those worlds. Yeah.

I used to do model cars. It was real fun. I was going to say, I've thought about that just like now in life doing a model car. Did you used to paint them too? I did. Because painting was like the big thing, right? I loved it. Had a yellow Porsche 9-11.

Whoa. Never forget. And you did the engine too? Like, because some of them. Did the whole, yeah, everything. So you did the metal ones, right? Every piece in there, yeah. It was awesome.

I only probably did three or four, but they were a blast every time. Yeah, when I was a kid, I did like a Vietnam war scene, but there was like. Oh, my God. There was like a World War II Sherman tank. Oh, I melted little soldiers. There was blood. The whole ground was made with like tile grout and I entered it in the fair and I got best in show.

And next to it was some old man had carved a rocking chair out of a single piece of wood. It was like his life's work. And I beat him because I was 11 years old or whatever. And I remember feeling so bad. I'm like, this old guy made a chair out of wood. I just put together some models and made a great test. I'm not even big friends. Vietnam war scene.

You literally just made his worst nightmare. Yeah, I felt I remember. You made the reason he made that chair. Yeah. I feel so bad. It was the last thing he did. You just got a bandana and listen to the senator's son. Yeah.

Participation ribbon that they put on his coffin. God, damn it, I'm such a little asshole. Well, what's your fourth pick, little asshole? Oh. This isn't a board game, but, you know, when you fold a paper three ways, so there's two creases, you started drawing, flip it over, and then someone else has to draw from those ends. points and then you and the third person. And then when you fold it

out it's like here's the monster's torso, someone else drew the monsters like an exquisite corpse drawing? Yes. It's not a board game though. I feel like but that is my go-to if it's like, hey, I have a fun game. Yeah. All we need is a piece of paper. Let's all draw my ex-wife. Yeah. Yeah, everyone

draw your ex-wife from memory. You do you do the upper torso. You do the hips. You do the legs. You know, memory, those things you're haunted by now. Yeah. I'm going to make a chair. I'm in the garage for a couple years.

I think we can't explain the corpse wrong, Isaac? It's not a board game. Right. He says no. Yeah. There's so many other board games. Right, right. You guys had different childhoods than me.

I just lived with my mom. She was going out a lot. It's a board game as in B-O-R-E-D. it's something that you do in your board. Right, right, there we go. You've said other board games in passing in the last 20 minutes that aren't picked yet. Right. I have, haven't I?

I have. Yes. I thought there were more board games than there are. It is funny. There's not a lot of straight up board games. If you want to get into the weeds, there's like hundreds, I think. There's one we played. Not that I've played.

It's like something Neander. Anderthals. And it, you, someone has to monotone say a statement. And if they get it wrong, you hit him with an inflatable bath. The endothal poetry. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Poethorne and Adethal's.

We played it one night and everyone was having a good time. And then my brother-in-law went to bed early and he had sudden cardiac arrest. And I went and then my, I woke my nephew up who was training to be a fireman. he did CPR for 12 minutes, brought him back to life. Oh my God. And he's doing great. That's amazing. Yeah.

What is your anecdote? But I mean, that's why I remember the game and the title of it got replaced for the chaos afterwards. But it was a very memorable night. Do you think the game has something to do with it? That is amazing. He saved his dad's life. No, I think, yeah. Now he has the power.

He did. He's got the juice. You got the juice. Yeah, yeah. I didn't mean to give my choice points by having that story. No, it definitely does. Yeah, poetry for Neanderthals. So the game is, you have like a bonking stick.

You have to say it with no inflection. So. Right. Do you remember? It's a word guessing game where you must speak good or get hit with a stick. Let me see. It was so fun. As a Neanderth, a poet, how do you get your primitive friend to guess campfire

using only words with one syllable? Oh. So you have to be a hot place. where you roast soft white cube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, hot, okay. Hot place. So you use one syllable. Logs.

Hot place, logs. Logburn, hot. Yeah, and everyone is doing, everyone does their version of like a caveman voice, and it's hilarious. You go sleep tent, log burn hot. And so, yeah, the bat is like a Captain Caveman. El Caban.

But it's inflatable, and you can, you know, hit your family members. as hard as you want. But it's inflatable. It doesn't hurt. It's a great. I think like the exploding kittens people listen to this.

Hell yeah. Did you do their cartoon? I was on exploding kittens. Yeah. Like 10 episodes. Yeah, that's right. That's so sad. The company that made

like six or seven. A poetry for Neanderthals. Small world. Yeah. Great pick. Describe a podcast to me. Right. Men talk.

You listen phone. Burn. Burn. White. Cube. Hot. You buy, you, you, you hear ad, you hear ad bed. Hymns.

That'll do it. Hymns, ad, talk here. We pick thing. Five time. Five time. We pick thing. Dave, you go now. Two time.

Mouse trap. Mousetrap. I don't even know how to play it, but man, I set that machine off a lot of time. Yeah, nobody ever knew how to play it. I don't know the rules to that game. I think you could play the game one time. Yeah. I don't know the rules.

I don't either. I do not know either, but I set that thing off. I have no idea what the... There was a movie. Yeah, there was. Mousetraps. So it was big enough to spawn IP, but I've never played the full game of Mousetrap. But that fucking net, that badminton ass net that came down?

I know about that. Oh, yeah. That's all I know about mousetrap. Sean? I can't, I don't know if there were any even pieces. Like any pieces to move? I don't know if you rolled dice. I just the same thing.

Everybody got it out and they're like, oh, I want to set this up. But you had to catch a mouse. Right? That was the whole point. So were you all mice? I only ever set it out. You built the machine piece by piece during the game. Not me.

That's what you're supposed to. Not me. I'm built him. Took those rules, crumpled them up, threw him away. Because it was so satisfying when the thing worked. Yeah, is it so complicated. I'm looking at it now. It's like a Rube Goldberg device.

Those pieces are just begging to be lost. Yeah, if you catch the mouse. Give it to like an eight-year-old. All right, now keep all these. And that's we're trying to do that with Max, like trying to get her to keep puzzle pieces. And it's just so, it's so hard to do. Like she'll scramble the puzzle up and just throw one.

And I'm not looking where it went. And then it's like, well, now I don't. Oh, you can't have board games out around kids. No, it's, unless they're, unless it's like shoots and ladders or something. It's got to be. Even this. Okay. I have to yawn, because I know if I yawn with a big mouth, you'll act like there's a dick in my mouth.

No, I'll yon with a small mouth. I do. When I'm sitting next to Sean, I have to let you on like this, because if I go, oh, he'll go, aw. They make small. And that's what it's like to be a man in today's climate. You get a small one in there. Nobody talks about that. David, your final pick?

Clue. Oh, man. Yeah, clue. Yeah. They got those little candelabras. Yeah, behind them. Little ropes. Several little rooms for you?

A rope? Yeah. Take us to the study with a candlestick. See what time it is. A movie that's better than it should be? Go remember an equation in the library with your candlestick. I wouldn't mind living in a house like that with a study. And a murder?

In an observatory? If a murder happened, fine. If that's the penalty I got to pay, I'm partying with kernels. Good movie, too. Yeah. Good movie. Tim Curry, right? Tim Curry.

The butler. Yeah. The butler himself, Tim Curry. The Butler himself. The devil from legend. That's right. Yeah, Clue's a good ass game. Yeah, it's funny.

I'm going into this. I'm like, we didn't play board games. Everything we mentioned. Yeah, you know. Basement closet. Yeah. We had clue. Basement closet exactly where these went.

Yeah. Yeah. I just didn't open it because there's spiders in there. Yeah, full spiders. That's the car. That's what it'll get you. Yuck. Yuck.

Yuck. They're disgusting. Filty creatures. And the little game piece is. Oh, I was looking for the thimble, but it's gone. We lost it. Play with this dead spider. Oh, board games.

There's a cheese it from two years ago. That's how I killed him in the parlor with a dead spider. Isn't a tiny gun and clue as well? There was a nice, a blue gun, wrench. A rope. A candlestick, for sure. They were all little bracelets. Charms.

I feel like a gun is cheating compared to the rest of those. Yeah. A candlestick. Yeah. Beat you over the head with a wrench. That's easy. Well, yeah.

You better hope you do. Am I awake when you're beating me? I'll stab you with a rope I have. No, you won't. You don't even know how to make it stab people. Idiot? It's so hard to stab with a rope. I flipped out the knife part.

I was going to tie a knife to the rope. You got to have hard rope. You got to dip in cement. That's hard. You've never tried to hang yourself with a gun. You have one rope. I can't get my head through that hole. How do they do this?

Can't ask. I wish there's another way. How there is. Rope gun. Chris, time for your final pick. Oh, God. I know, it's fine. This is the last one.

What other games exist that I know of? Who had a family that parents still were married? You're not in the right room, but... When did you guys play these board games alone in your face? With other wayward teens. Daycare. Why after we stole them from the store? I'm having anxiety.

I know I'm supposed to come prepared. I realize this. Just Google games real fast. You mentioned one earlier. Oh, your sister, you should check on her. I know. She just is giving the rules and details about these three games. And telling me the benefits of doing an actual fantasy draft.

It's really fun. And my dad won by simply having a computer do his draft team. So that's all I know. He said a very fun new one. And this isn't necessarily a pick, but there's a new game, party game. And she said it sounds misogynistic, but it's not. It's called Girls in bathrooms, Girls in Bar Bathrooms. And she says it's very fun.

So that's my choice. Girls and bar bathrooms. Girls and bar bathrooms. Yeah. It's a party game, you know, a Kager. One of those games, you're at a frat house. There's a makeshift water slide. Everyone's in bikinis.

Just go in the corner and play this board game. at a party. Girls in bar bathrooms. That's what your sister just said? It's like a Cards Against Humanity type of stuff. So somebody, there's a situation card that gets flipped over. It is. Like, I'm bringing someone home tonight, but I'm wearing granny panties.

And then everyone, people have like a hand of solution cards. And they flip those down. I think whichever one, say you're into the 70s. Do what you got to do. I won't judge. Smoke this and relax. Watch out everyone. This bitch is going to slay.

Maybe a handy? Those are the cards you throw down in response to it. There's not one that says he's not going to care. No. That's what they should all say. Well, there might be. Dating's hard.

Yeah, it is. She likes cards against humanity too. It's just sometimes when the cards are like have jokes on them and I'm like, that's not a good joke. I can't play this game. You know what I mean? I do know what you mean. Helping regular people be funny games.

Right. And so every other card says, man, that's a good. title for that genre. That's exactly what it is. Regular view. And God bless them. Yeah. Yeah. It's better to be like that. I come up with my own wacky premises. That's right. Well, not like often anymore as often as I used to, but I used to two, three times a night. Like, why do we think hippos are cute?

And they're so scary. Hey, Chris, is that listening? Clay will kill you for sport hippos. It comes up. Hey, Chris, I was telling somebody about this. I don't think you remember this. One of the funniest things I ever saw in stand-up. me and you were doing a show on the west side and you did a joke and it bombed and you look straight at the crowd and you said I haven't had fun doing this in eight months and you just did your next joke

and I think about it a lot I wanted to bring it up so specific dog it was so funny you just said because I didn't even think you could do that you were just like I haven't had fun doing this in eight months and that probably and that probably got the laugh that the joke didn't get

Not from the audience, but man, it really sat with me. You know what? I've always played to the comics in the back of the room. It fucking got me. I think about it, like, kind of a lot. That's funny. It sounds like something I'd say. Since we're on the topic, I bring this up, but it's never been on wax before.

He ever brings it up. I brought it up. He's picky back here. Yeah, I am, but it's one of the funniest things. First time I ever met you, I think, I was staying at David, when you live with Huntsberger, and I locked the front door. And you're, like, banging on the door. It's like two in the morning.

And I come and unlock it, and I'm just wondering. and I'm just wearing mesh shorts. And you're like, we don't lock the door around here, Hoop Dreams. And then you just walked in here. It just said, but did I say it all mean?

You said it. You were hilarious. You're like, I had the very front door locked. Maybe I was panicked because I'm like, oh shit, it's late.

I'm going to be, that's the neighborhood I got mugged in casually. It was very funny. Okay, good. That's great. They were basketball shorts. They were.

They were my Sonic. shorts. Yeah, yeah. From middle school. I still had them. You're in Seattle's Supertonic shorts? I was, yeah. Hey, babe.

I'll lock the door around here, Hoop Dreams. The whole thing while he's walking to his bedroom. I guess it was funny because you were wearing them to sleep, in which case you might be dreaming.

So it's funny that they're basketball dreams. No, it was a great joke. I haven't enjoyed comedy since that joke. Hearing about now is the first time I've enjoyed it. I can't remember how long.

It's not for your final pick hoop, right? Life. Life. Life is. Yeah, life is fun. Oh man, yeah. You tried to give me a hint.

Yeah. You've mentioned board games. It's okay, man. Spin the little, the little, the wheel of fortune wheel, and then it, like, gives you the number of spaces. You go, there is hills. There's a family. You're in a little car.

You can have pink kids. Much like real life, if you pick a shitty job in the beginning, it's not fun for the rest of the idea. Oh, yeah. You get random taxes in that one? That's a total, like. show these kids what life is like in the 50s where adults are like these kids got to learn

make a board game so they know what taxes You have a gout! You have gout! Lose $100. Uh-oh, not dysentery again. Your kid stole your cigarette. Quick one. Look under Mama's fainting couch. There's not a gun in your daughter's desk at school. Okay, that was dark. Maybe that was too far.

Gun is in the air. I'm going to take Munchkin for my last pick Is anybody I played Munchkin? It's fun. It's a fun little game. It's like a Dungeons and Dragonsy thing, but it's got like, it's very, it's just very silly. It's a very silly stupid game.

It takes no time to learn. You're like, play a guy, and you get these cards that are like armor and you have to like fight monsters and you can work together, or you can, uh, shut up! Shut up while I'm drafting.

I have to sneeze. all day. Yeah. Exactly. And you wait until I'm talking? It was intentional. You wait until I'm talking? It was intentional.

Oh, that's so much. I'm trying to sabotage you. Start over. Start the whole podcast over. Welcome to all fantasy everything. It's a podcast that just sneezed. Fuck! So quick.

Shut up. It's in there. It's in there. Is Munchkin and O'Keeze? word to say? I think so. Yeah, yeah. I think Munchkin's just like a cute little guy. That's what the little donuts are called at Dunkin' Donuts, I think. Oh, yeah. I think it is there's a Munchkin cat, the cats with like, that look like corgis with their cats. I think you can say Munchkin. I think Munchkin is a word that made for, what's the Yellow Brick Road thing.

They were called Munchkins. Oh, Munchkin lane. That was where that word came from. Yeah, it was a boss. Isn't it funny? I couldn't remember that? That was funny. Yeah. That really was funny. And you say you don't enjoy comedy. It's just a fun little game. It's just a fun little silly game.

I played at the beach for the first time with my niece and we had a great time. And then we got a copy of it. We played it twice, which is kind of the most you can play a board game. Yeah, that's pretty much as you're going to play it. And it's a good old time. We'll play it tonight. Love it. Yeah.

Love it. We're going to make you stay until 2 a.m. Playing board game. What if he wins again? What if he blacks out and beats your whole family? family again. At Munchkin? I wouldn't put it past him.

Then you have to kill him. Yeah, I do what I got to do. You're not leaving out Waterville. Nobody ever does. Nobody ever does. Isaac, do you have a pick? I'm going to take... I'm going to...

No one's going to have to do it again. Fix. Seek it in there. I'm going to take... I want to take Go? Yeah. You guys ever play Go? No.

It's the game I played... It's the board game I played the most in my life. It's a... Asian game. It's an East Asian game. It's with black and white stones, you put him on a grid and you're trying to surround the other stones and take the other opposing player's stones.

It's very high level. It gets very, very, very complicated. I was never good at it, but I played it a lot. I only play West Asian board games. Yeah. That's kind of the thing. Right. Yeah, a lot of Turkish. A lot of Qatari. Uzbekistanian.

I think it's called Sari. Sorry? Not Qatari. No, he's thinking of Atari. Oh, Atari. Video game concept. Sure, yeah. That's my favorite kind of teenage riot.

If I had to pick. I don't get it. Atari Teenage Riot? Oh, are they a band? Yep. Now I know. See that? Therahovit.

Thar Yehavit, Sean Jordan. Well, hell yeah. Go is the game. Yeah. Starring. Jaymore. What is it? Paduk in Korean.

What is it? Padu. Padu. Padu. Padu. Yeah, you got it. Seul. You're good at pronunciation.

Thank you. You're good at pronunciation. Thank you. Seoul. Seoul. Right back down. We'll be back with sounds you make while having a stroke. That's the proper pronunciation of Seoul in Korea.

Saul. Oh, really? It feels different when Isaac says it. If you want to hear the proper one. Seoul. Saul. Soul. Soul.

You're saying he's doing what you're doing. No, he's not, but... Okay. I'm trying. I'm trying my best. I'm freaking out over here. I am genuinely trying my... Saul.

Seul. Seul. It's a particularly difficult language for English speakers because all of the vowels are different. A lot of different mouth stuff. If we keep trying over and over and over, does it become offensive? I think it's like there's some sort of threshold you reach and then it becomes not offensive again. Oh, okay. It's a horseshoes.

So keep your head down. Keep going. Yeah, keep going. Yeah. If you feel like you're being racist, keep going. Yeah. Stay in line.

Keep going. I built a career off of it. That's right. Well, hell, David, you went first. You took Operation Taboos, Scattergories, mousetrap, and clue. Chris, you went second. He took Pictionary Cranium, password,

poetry for Neanderthals, and girls in bar bathrooms. Game we've all played in love. John? Fantastic. You went third. You took Scrabble Monopoly, Candleam Battleship in Life.

I went last to a trivial pursuit, risk, settlers of Caton, chess, and munchkin. Games. Games, dude. Those are the only games I play. All right? You play Patriot games every now and again, right? Patriot games.

Rindeer games. And when do we find out which one of us has won? We just do a love of the games. It's a seven-year vetting process. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, I will wait with baited breath. Nobody wins. It's love of the game.

We all win because we had a great time. We're getting closer friends. We learned things about each other. That's very true. You're right. The real friends are the guns we made along the way. Did you wear socks today because I've been bullying you about not wearing socks? I did.

Thank you. Helping you out. Thank you very much. Yeah. Feels good. Feels good on my feet to have socks. It does feel nice, right? It's a lovely. It's a lovely little feet. Not a big socks with shorts guy.

Yeah, it's a power move, matching it with your hat. Yeah. Oh yeah, look at that. Look at that. No detail missed. Didn't even know I was doing that. Look at that. Well, you're a fashionable guy. I try.

Yeah. We want to hear your fashion tips for Sean Jordan. Hit this up at All Fantasy Podcasts at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Shout out to most of the people on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to our super producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout to Chris Fairbanks.

Hey. Shout out to Montana. That's right. Shout out to curb skating. That's right. Curbs skating. Just the skating

that people knew when they don't rally. That time I saw you going on your walk in that water village it's at the Costco. The Costco curbs. But now I've

taken to the Bellflower DMV. Oh, good curbs around there. It's a bit of a drive. Perfect curbs. Are the curbs at the Costco or like behind the Costco? They're in the

parking lot furthest away from the door and the front door and like the staff just, we're just part. of the scene there. Oh, nice.

Never get kicked out. Because the front of that parking lot is a hot zone. You've got to be careful out there. Yes. Yeah. The Atwater Village Costco? Oh, it's just mornings. I'm out of there by 11.

Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, the cars come. Oh, that's just when the executive members can be there. So frustrating. Oh, yeah. Worth every penny. It is worth every penny.

It was like a social scene. That's where I've met a bunch of friends there in the morning, age-appropriate men that escape. with me. That's right. Yeah. Who did I see on a, I saw a pretty major skateboarder in Atwater Village. Who'd I see? Was it?

Oh, what I'd I see? Mike Carroll or Coston or? Austin. Sean saw Deshawn Jordan when we were hanging out together. I thought we did. I don't think. I checked and he was in Tokyo the next day. I wasn't good of.

Jerry Sue. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was sick. Skateboarders. Yeah. Yeah. Epicly latered.

Coston was outside of that burrito place on Glendale. he skates curbs sometimes I might have seen him with the Costco I've seen that he's been there Eric Costingco is that what you said Sean Jordan Lyrical genius Lyrical genius

Damn John do you want to wrap us out yeah do it No come on man I don't want it to be bad I don't want anyone to be sad I guess we'll see you next week

and we'll all be on Fleek Are the kids still saying that Who am I to judge I know Ian he kind of likes fudge I'll jump in now It's my turn to rhyme. Sean had his turn. He had his time.

Why your eyes getting old wife? I'm telling you this, and that's on God. That's the end of our pod. But tune in next week, and we'll be right back at E. David Boree? I don't want to be a part of this. David Boree. That was a hate gum podcast.