All Fantasy Everything - Board Games (w/ Zak Toscani, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

What's cracki' all fam! We know these are tough times for everyone and we want to help you forget about your troubles for a while by just being ridiculous. That's why Ian Karmel and the rest of the Good Vibes Gang grabbed Mr. Ridiculous himself, Zak Toscani, to draft "Board Games!" After you listen, maybe get a crew together via Skype, FaceTime, or however you want and enjoy a board game! They're fuuuuuuuun! And in all seriousness, be safe and try your best to think good thoughts. We're sending everyone good vibes :) Episode Guest:Zak Toscani @zaktoscani IG: @zaktoscaniSupport the show!Sponsors:TodayTix: Go to todaytix.com/fantasy and use promo code 'fantasy' to get $10 off your first TodayTix purchase.Feals: Become a member today by going to Feals.com/allfantasy and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping.Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Merch:T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is currently in week two of whatever the fuck this new world is, I guess. Man, we are putting this work in. Just so you guys know, we're going to record like five this weekend. We're putting the work in. So this will not suffer. So this one's bad. We're going to record five this weekend. This will not suffer. This one's bad. We're starting to go stir crazy.

Unfortunately, we did record before the roving gangs of Reavers popped up. There won't be a lot of Reaver content on this. We're recording this up top as an addendum. Sean has one hand on a mic and one hand on a knife. I got one hand in my pocket. The other one's given a peace sign.

Oh, I'm not a hundred percent. Be the change you want to say. I can't a hundred percent. Sure. Guarantee. But if we're about three weeks into the apocalypse, when this happens,

rest, rest assured, your boy does have some spiky shoulder pads. Yeah. Oh, Oh, wow. Yeah.

Yeah. I actually like, really like a post-apocalyptic. This is too depressing. But like, if you had to pick a weapon, like it's too depressing to do a whole draft, but you had to pick the one. We're really trying a post-apocalyptic. This is too depressing, but if you had to pick a weapon. It's too depressing to do a whole draft, but if you had to pick the one. You were really trying to push this, because this was your suggestion this morning.

I think it's funny. Here's what I would do. I would tell you, people are going to want to. We're going to have to draft this later. Maybe it'll just be you and me. I would take a medium, light, wooden bat with nails in it. I was going to take it. It's called a spike bat, nerd, but yeah, I get it.

Were you going to take a spike bat? I was. See, you're going to buy one. I'm going to make one. That's the difference. You guys wouldn't just take a gun? You can't take a gun. Oh, crossbow.

That's pretty good. What, are you coming to my island? Wait, did I not have that on my island? You did have it on your island. I did, right? You did, yeah. Motorbike crossbow. I would have like a chain a chain and at the end of it's like a big heavy like

ball but the ball like has lighted on fire. Mary. I don't mind spending every day out on the corner in the pouring rain. Shane Torres.

What was it? Hey, everybody. My name is Shane. Everywhere I go, there's a cloud pouring rain. Shane? Yeah. We were on our way to a house party. Yeah.

And we walked in. There was a guy in the backyard playing acoustic guitar with his shirt off. Oh, boy. So we all took our shirts off. I did anyways. We all did, right? Yeah. Yeah. Was that his shirt off. Oh, boy. So we all took our shirts off. I did anyways. We all did, right? Yeah, yeah. Was that at Campy? No, no. It was on the west side. Yeah, this was like southwest

or something. Oh, I remember that. Yeah, we went to this. It was... Oh, gosh. It were theater kids, I knew. Yeah. Oh, fuck, man. Yeah, it was like a house party. We were so stoked to go to House Flyhop afterwards. Yeah, we did. We were there with... Was that an early... Wait, who... Oh, I forget who we house party. We were so stoked to go to a house party. We went to IHOP afterwards. Yeah, we did. We were there with Beaverton. Was that an early... Wait, who...

I forget who we were with. Breanne, I think her name was. Jordan. She came for sure. Jordan. Casner was there. Nick Day was there. We got to your house at like 5 in the morning. The sun was coming up when we went to your house. Oh, yeah. It was awesome. What did you bring that up for? I don't know.

Oh, the shade wrap. Everywhere I go, there's a cloud pouring rain. Was I doing that? On the way to this party in the car. You were locked into the collective unconscious. My name is Shane. Everywhere I go there's a cloud pouring rain. Shows are canceled.

Got myself a cone, two scoops of pain. That's why they call it window pain. We come from Spain. My hair's real long and my jacket is denim. If you cook a plate of biscuits, I'll get up in on it. I mean, this just sounds like you.

Can Shane get a verse on Too Thick? That's what we need. You need like an Uncle Cracker remix for Shane. Shane is an Uncle Cracker remix. If you cook a plate of biscuits, I'll get up in them. When it comes to charm, I got two scoops. Check me out on Ron White Star Studded Salute to the Troops. Yes, that was perfect.

The Shane rap, baby. He'll be tripping in the door way wetter than the rain allowed him to be in probably about 10 minutes. At some point. He actually shamed on the rain. Shamed it on the rain. It was falling, falling.

Shamed it on the rain. They shamed it night. Remember when that was like the big deal? When Milli Vanilli just like got canceled because they had someone else singing yeah no i'm 32 wouldn't those problems be nice right now wouldn't that be tight if that was like the big deal i don't know i'm thriving in this pandemic i know you are you got your nerf guns dude you got you got a fortress i got a lot for me it's supposed to be a hamdemic i'm really getting into my ham my ham radio my ham in the kitchen

John Ham it's actually been a damn genodemic for me which is you know new but I'm gonna standemic for me I've been mispronouncing and eating a lot of dessert so it's called a flandemic oh man I thought you were having a big baby dramdemic

oh I love that dude my cash machine no it's uh I'm actually listening to a lot of Eminem having a big baby dramdemic. Oh, I remember that, dude. My cash machine. No, I'm actually listening to a lot of Eminem having a standemic. Oh, that's good. I know you don't like seafood, but I've been having a real clamdemic. Oh, you've been having a clamdemic.

I've been fucking reading a lot of New Yorker think pieces. I've been having a frandemic. Fran Lebowitz? I've been thinking about going to a piano bar and having a plate against Sam Demick. Oh. I like that.

I've been making and selling crack. I've been having a pots and pandemic. Thanks to these new episodes, we're all having a real fandemic. Oh, we're having a pandemic.

Yeah. Speaking of which, this is our Patreon right now. We know money is abundant and everybody has a lot of it. Everybody, for real, everybody who's... Everybody has all the money. Everybody who's sticking with it,

thank you. It is like, you know, my friends have been joking, but like that is the only way I make money. Dude, seriously, help us out in this serious time of a vodka grandemic. I'm done. I'm done. I'm sorry. Dude. I was wishing that I

had like an ounce of cocaine. Yeah. Not for personal use, just in times of epidemic. You don't know what the new currency is going to be. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I think it's going to be Froot Loops. We're going to have a two-candemic on our hands.

Aha. Okay. Okay. I just found out they're suspending my show next week. Whoa. The Late Late Show with James Corden. I figured. Wow. Yeah. That's a mention. I just found out they're suspending my show next week Whoa The Late Late Show with James Corden I figured Wow

Yeah, that's a mention Do you have to work? You still gotta work from home, I'm sure I have no idea We're not gonna be in the studio I'll be available for whatever But like, yeah You know what?

Maybe I'll do the show now You wanna do it? You wanna do it? We'll film here I'll film your stand-up set That would be right next to the Emmy Between the Emmy and the Venice skateboard bowl Oh set. That would be right next to the Emmy. Between the Emmy and the Venice skateboard bowl.

That would be a great debut. Zach has created a beautiful tableau over there. It looks great in here. It does look amazing in here. I'm thinking about having some 58-year-olds over. I think they'd really appreciate it. How are you going to get 50 of them? Ah!

That'd be so crazy. It's that kind of podcast. Me and Sean just wake up, come inside the house, and it's like, oh my God, there's something has really gone wrong. Here's what you guys need to know about life. All right? Sit down on the floor, all of you. Crisscross applesauce, or is that not woke?

You're just holding court. I'm sorry. Crisscross apple. No, I don't have woke? You're just holding court. I'm sorry. Crisscross apple. No, I don't have it. I thought I had a joke there. Whatever. Crisscross apple smushed up vegetables or fruit. You know, what just mattered?

The wrong reasons. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Okay. Can we still call them backpacks? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What are you sitting?

You're sitting Native American style. Oh, okay. That one's probably actuallyacks? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What are you sitting? You're sitting Native American style. Oh, okay. That one's probably actually reasonable. Yeah, that is right. Yeah, pretty reasonable. Good call. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Text me. Oh, yeah. Ooh. Oh, math. Is this still okay to call it math? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm from back in the day where we carried the two.

I don't know what you guys do now. Right. Oh, now you put the two like in a. Now you give the two a participation trophy. Is that what happens? They didn't teach us any of that in reading. So. Oh, yeah, you took reading.

I took reading for three years. You did take reading. Three years is so hard. I swear to God, everybody took it. Except for everyone I've ever talked to. Yeah. Did I like read up that there were other people in the class?

That was just like part of every class. I think it was just you and the rest of the bad kids in the portables. I don't think... You know what? Dave and I were talking about this. If you could please stop tweeting at me like I'm an idiot, that'd be tight. He can read. I mean, and also not to say if you can't read your name, that's not what I'm saying, but just don't tweet at me

like that. What have you been getting? Just a lot of stuff like... It'll just be a tweet and someone will be like, say if you can't read your name. That's not what I'm saying. But just don't tweet at me like that. What have you been getting? Just a lot of stuff. Like, it'll just be a tweet and someone will be like, oh, Sean can't read that. And I'm like, it boils. It gets you get pissed if you're on the bus. I like to encourage people to still send those tweets. Yeah. Sean.

And you can tell. Sean. You couldn't read. No, I'm just saying if you're on the bus, like you're not doing the dankest of things and then you get a tweet like, oh, I also people can't for real read. Oh, I thought I thought you said a girl on the bus accused you. No, I'm just saying if you're on the bus, like you're not doing the dankest of things and then you get a tweet like, oh, I also people can't for real read. Oh, I thought I thought you said a girl on the bus accused you. No, I will go back to that girl. It's not the bus.

So well, buses and shots like where's the pots? This was a weird thing that happened. I don't know if I told you guys this. I was in Madison. And after the show, it's impossible to not do well there, by the way. Oh, you have to do. That's a city. There's a chance there's anyone who's involved in that club is listening. It's impossible to not do well there, by the way. You have to do well. That's a city. There's a chance there's anyone who's involved in that club is listening.

It's amazing. So after the show, after my set, it was it was a good set. And this dude comes up with two girls and he walks up. He goes, hey, man, your face is kind of red. Yeah, just straight up. And I was like, oh, yeah, I heard this. I was like, I mean, sure. And the girl with him, she's like, do you need like someone to do your makeup or something?

And I was like, what the fuck? Not in studio, not in the state. Nick Nampay once. There was a couple that came up to me. I think Sean was there, right? Yeah, because he had this couple came up to me. They were so drunk. They were drunk and they were trying to be nice, but they were probably overstepping their bounds.

You know what you should be doing? Like as a joke. And Nampay was just standing there and he was like kind of wobbling and then he was like shut the fuck up he's a professional don't ever give him don't ever tell him what to do and i was like it's okay man it's okay and he's like no it's not okay he's right well then he is but it was like he goes they started to say something he's like no fuck that you don't need to listen to anything they gotta say. It was hilarious. People think he's quiet, but he's got the fuck. He's got every gear up.

He's not quiet as much as he just isn't always saying shit. He picks his spots. That's a man who picks his spots. Sometimes with quiet people, when they talk, they seem like... He never seems afraid to talk. No, no, no. He's like Mr. Ed, man. He only talks if he's got something to say exactly

I love it the horse talking horse oh because no one can talk of a horse of course unless of course there's talking horses the famous Mr. Ed one of my joints back in the day Mr. Ed Nick at night really Don Reed petty do show Mr. Ed we might have been like I'm with you I watch Mr. Ed really my

Nick at night was more of like a fresh press a lot of peanut butter or Bew butter I watched Bewitched on there What about Get Smart would you believe I never saw that Dragnet the chimp The old Batman like the Adam West one You know who should draft There's a Nick at Night line up dude

That would be great Shows from like Is Nick at Night different than snick snick was before nick but at this point nick at night bro it's not what i think of when you do that what do you think of when he does nothing really i guess that was there There was a little orange dude walking. It was like early computer generation. Are you afraid of the dark?

Are you afraid of the dark? Roundhouse. Somebody should rap over that. Black Youngster, get on it. Was Clarissa on? Maybe towards the end. If somebody out there is listening, make a beat. I'm going to give it to you clean right now.

All that was on Snick. I give you four takes. You look awesome. Let him get his back in. Don't be a dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? That was rad. Cook that up. Let's get in front of Ski Mass be a dick. You know what I mean?

Let's get in front of Ski Mass and Slump God and we're off to the races. We are off to the races. Holy buckets, that was tight. Good job. Good job, bud. Shaughness Jordan. Right here, man. In the Fortress of Solid Dudes.

Shaughness Jordan on Twitter. Shaughness Jordan on the gram. We see those. We see a couple out there from time to time. They are persisting. What's weird to me is when people,

well, they're like, I'm Phil Cougar Jacobson. You're like, you're not doing it right. You're like, Phil Cougar Melon Camp. You're like, it's not,

you got, it's a pretty easy concept. You know, just do it the right way. Come on, you know, it's different. You know,

a lot of people are like, you know, everybody puts a little different. Listen, you cook with Lowry's, I cook with sea salt. No, I don't cook. I cook in the microwave. That's true, you don't cook. We gotta get you cooking. I'm trying. You're gonna be bethrothed. At least church it up

some pre-made things. Yeah. I bet you we could get you down dirty. Well, I made chiseled like the one time. It was okay. And then I made tater tot casserole, I think for you two once. I never got it.ater Tot Castro, I think, for YouTube once. I never got it. No. You didn't get any?

No. Yeah, I don't have anything coming up. You know, buy the buck starts here. Stream it. Do whatever you got to do. That's something you can do inside. Yeah. Stream it.

Search Sean Jordan on YouTube. Watch those. Yeah. Just put a new one up the other day. Listen to Luda's rap from Gossip Folk. I mean, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Go Google Mike Maldonado in Baker 2G.

I think he's got a dope Buddha. Mike Molloidal Noddle. Molloidal Noddle. Molloidal Noddle. Molloidal Noddle. Man, Mike Molloidal Noddle. Dude, you kind of want him on your side, maybe. Mike Molloidal Noddle?

Yeah. Oh, with the Jews? Yeah. We don't need that fucking shig. It's not. Absolutely not. What does that mean? It's like a male shiksa. The Jew. I almost said the Jews. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't need that fucking shaggits. No, absolutely not. What does that mean? It's like a male shiksa.

The Jew... I almost said the Jews. I can't say that. What? What's a male shiksa mean? There's actually a Yiddish word... A shaggits and shiksa, they're the goyim. There's a Yiddish word for Malloy.

Yeah. Just for him. Yeah. Schnorter. Away. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. I can laugh at the arm schnoiter. Damn. Yeah. All right. David Porey. Yeah. away oh yeah fuck damn yeah

alright uh David Porey the G is silent on Twitter uh huh coolguyjokes87 on Instagram get at me coolguyjokes87 on InstaHam

InstaHam yeah dude we are coming through canned baby InstaHam yeah she's ham she's ham identifies any kind of ham

I mean ham David you don't have anything to promote either but how are you I'm out here making some moves don't worry about it hit up the faded twitch stream hit up the faded twitch stream we're going to be twitching our shows

watch out for your boy in some maybe videos that could be hitting the internet. Just know, progress is a slow process. You know what I mean? I'm not compact. I'm all Mac. Understand, I'm moving out here. Strictly business. I'm gonna need to get a little

wet my beak on this faded streaming money if you guys want to keep talking about it. Oh yeah, absolutely. I get it, you know. We should all Twitch. That's what the kids are twatching. Are they twatching? Yeah, the kids are twatching. Dude, you're like a metadata.

You throw on Chungus on your Stardew Valley, twatch it down. I can't... I understand that they will, and people have told me that they would, but I can't imagine someone wanting to watch me play Stardew Valley. They love it. I think it's fun.

I've done it. I've sat right where you're sitting right now and watched you play. It's crazy to me. I got some video. Now that I'm fucking... We're on quarantine. We're not quarantined. I've done it. I've sat right where you're sitting right now and watch you play. I got some, I got some video now that I'm fucking, we're on quarantine for, we're not quarantined.

I don't know what the right word, not going to be at work next week. Chill it. You're not going to work here next week. Yeah. You also might take it off. You're on a vacation from your problems. Yeah.

Dude. Whoa. Yes. Ian's going to go to Europe. I'm going to Europe. I'm going to get the bottom of this. I'm going to ask the real questions. Hey, do you got it? Yes or no?

Yeah. Hey, I'm coming in. What's up? I'm going to talk like Armie Hammer, dude. I'm five out. This is Armie Hammer. I'm five out. No more knocking. Shut the door. I'll kick it the fuck down. I'll kick it down. Mr. Pope, there's a call. There's an Ian Carmel on the line. I'm not impressed.

We're taking it back. All line. I'm not impressed. We're taking it back. I'm not fucking impressed. You understand me? Oh, man. I had my... No, never mind. What? Yeah, nothing.

It's a private thought. Zach Toscani. Yo. Add Zach Toscani on Twitter. Yes. Add Zach Toscani on Instagram. Add Zach Toscani on Instagram. Zach's actually doing a bunch of shows. Brat Zach Toscani on a grill.

Got some brats going on there. I would love that. Flat Zach Toscani in the choir we formed. I didn't want to bring it up publicly like this. I thought you were sharp. Zach, what's going on? How's it going?

Oh, I'm doing great. Yeah. I'm around four of my best friends. Where's the fourth? We're locked in. What are you talking about, Emmy? Would you please start referring to the Emmy? I'm talking.

Have you named it? Emmy, dude. Emmy Lee? Emmy Lee. Emmy Lee Curtis. Is it a man or a woman? I think it's a woman. It's got big boobs.

Oh, yeah. It does got. It is stacked. I didn't notice. Man, it's cool that there's the shadow of it on the wall. I hadn't noticed that yet. My name is Ian Carmel. At Ian Carmel on Twitter.

At Ian Carmel on Instagram. At Ian Carmel on Jewish BevMoRewards app. Ooh. Yeah. Get those Menashevitz points. Absolutely. Get those Menashevitz points. Absolutely, man. Menashevitz points, dude. Yeah, man.

I scored a lot of those in the rec league. Do you have rec specs? No, I got nothing to promote, man. Fucking 9.2 on Pitchfork. Listen to it. Listen to my stand-up comedy. I used to do it. Watch your boy on Netflix.

Watch me on Netflix. Yeah. I'm up there streaming. Stream my stand-up comedy. I used to do it. Watch your boy on Netflix. Watch me on Netflix. I'm up there streaming. Stream my stand-up. Screaming as well. He is on Netflix screaming. He's screaming. If you haven't seen my

set, please watch it. If you haven't seen it, watch it again. Reacquaint yourself with the movie The Lion King. It'll change the way you watch that movie. Oh, wait. Can I pop back in and say watch The Lion King? It's a little too late, that movie. Oh, wait. Can I pop back in and say watch the lot on Vimeo? Can you just watch my short film? Watch my short film. Watch my short film. Watch my short film.

Watch my short film. Watch my short film. Watch my short film. Everybody watch the lot. It's on Vimeo. It's on Vimeo right now. It's a staff pick for God's sake. It was a staff pick for Christ's sake,. It was a staff pick for Christ's sakes, Sharon.

What the fuck do you want from me? I work, okay? All right. Yeah, they're my kids too, but they like eating, right? Right? They sure don't mind that fucking Kia Sophia I bought her. She's a freshman. You think pork loins just show up in our fridge, Sharon?

I buy those. You know what the short film's called? It's called A Lot, and that's what I need from you. Right now. It's called V-Lot, actually. It's called V-Lot, just to be specific. Yeah, V-Lot. Look it up on Vimeo. Fantastic. Featuring some of your favorites. Matt Baronga's in it.

Zach Tosconi's in it for a spell. Mike Molloy. James Austin Johnson. Jadge. Punky Johnson. Punky Johnson. Me. Sam Townley. Max Beasley. David Borey.

No, Max Beasley was a PA, though. Shout out to Max Beasley. Deotis Beasley. Deotis Beasley. Deotis Beasley, man. Skateboarder from Compton. Directed by... Steve Fine Arts.

Big time. Shot at... The same grocery store from Star is Born. I like your noise. Well, I mean, a Star is Born was shot at the same grocery store. I like your short. I wish your whole movie was is Born. I like your noise. Well, I mean, Star is Born was shot at the same time. I like your short. I wish your whole movie was your short. I like it.

I think your short is off the deep end. Why'd you steal my fucking grocery store? You were using it right. You're out of fucking toilet paper. You're out of fucking toilet paper. Look at it now. It's a fucking wind farm. Speaking of which, how are you guys doing on TP?

Lush. Look at that. And that's not even, that's like, that's toilet paper. Yeah. And we got another big fucking, let angels guide you in,

dude. I mean, I don't even shit. So like, that's just for fun. Yeah. I just sit there until it goes away naturally. Oh boy.

I don't actually, you know, nature's my toilet paper. Yeah. paper yeah oh you know that is never a good move gross i just get up and go back into the world i ain't got time i'm like jay-z man we both do we don't have a lot of time uh if you've if you've grown wary of this poop talk and you want to hear something else, the AFE Patreon is up and running. We put out two bonus episodes every month. Yep. We have two in the chamber right now. And a watch along and a mailbag.

And we'll be doing that playlist, I imagine. We'll be doing playlists as well. We're going to be putting together an AFE playlist that comes out every month. We should actually talk about it after this. Yeah. And then, yeah, fuck yeah. So jump on there.

There's access to the Slack. And you help keep us all in soup and furs. Slackcess, dude. Slackcess, dude. Slakiel O'Neil. Slackity. I heard those slacks. Enough of that.

We are gathering here today in the Fortress of Solitude not only to say Slakiel O'Neil, but also to fantasy draft, as we want to do on the All Fantasy Everything podcast, board games. Board games! Now maybe let's see, you're spending a little more time indoors right now. Maybe that's what's going on. Maybe you're

playing board games. Maybe you're looking for things to do after you've watched The Lot. After you've watched Ian Carmel's stand-up comedy on Netflix. You know what I mean? Maybe you want something to do while you listen to The Buck Starts Here or previous episodes of Zach on All Fantasy Everything.

YouTube me. Tube your boy. Go watch Spicy News. Zach on Spicy News. Hot Ones before Hot Ones. Well before Hot Ones. Well before. Years. Interesting. Interesting. A lot of those. Oh, we're all on spicy news. We are.

They're pretty dope if you look. They're pretty funny. Yeah, we watched it. Weren't we at your house? We watched like 10 of them, didn't we? Yeah, yeah, we did. We watched some over here at one point. Can I cash out all that Hennessy for you?

Henron. It was bullet, but yeah. You're welcome, by the way. It was bullet. It was bullet. I'll replace it. But it was cashed out. I will replace it. You were right about that. You have many debts to make up. I do. I'll replace it. But it was cashed out. I will replace it.

You were right about that. You have many debts to make up. I know. I'm going to go to the store after this. Listen, Indiana Jones is going to get the sand. The weight's going to be the same. Now, the way we determine the order of the draft is with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors

played between the three of you. And we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Whoa, three rocks of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you. We throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Whoa, three rocks. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Wow, Sean Jordan wins. It is. There it is. Sean even shines on a dog's ass. Yeah.

Not Zach's, though. Zach loses so much. I am the puppet master, though. Okay. Is that what you think? Who told you that? That's what I have to think. Okay. Sean, Okay. Is that what you think? Who told you that? That's what I have to think. Sian, having won rock paper scissors, it's incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft.

Before you do that, I must remind you it is a serpentine draft. What is that? What's going on? Are you usurping me? Are you trying to single white female me? I'm trying to usurp you. Oh!

Damn. Well, now we can't talk about the show. And what is that? Excellent question. It's kind of like if you're at a buffet. Oh. I'm going to use pizza reach. Why?

Let's not go to a buffet right now, though, as we're social distancing. Or go to the buffet because it's open. All the chocolate. I bet the buffet is thriving. I bet it's doing all right. Let's say you're at the buffet. Absolutely not. Sneeze guard splatter bar.

Sneeze guard splatter bar. Why is it you you old so and so it's one of those buffets that has everything and so you go on one and you get a bunch of you get a bunch of pizza you're singing my song baby

and then you look down at the end of the buffet and you're like fuck mashed potatoes would be nice for the crust when I'm done with the pizza dip them in some mashed potatoes so you go down there you get some mashed potatoes and you're like well you know what else would be nice for the crust is ranch which is on the back where the pizza, dip them in some mashed potatoes. So you go down there, you get some mashed potatoes and you're like, well, you know what else would be nice for the crust is ranch, which is on the back

where the pizza is. So go back, you get some ranch and then you look down at the other end and you're like, well, corn goes with mashed potatoes. And you put them

on the crust of the pizza. You do whatever you want. Oh, but you put the ranch on a cup. I'm sorry. No, you put it on the plate. This is semantics. I call it a ramekin.

Wait, you put it on the plate? I would, yeah. In this scenario? Next to the mashed potatoes? Next to the pizza. I'd use it on the plate i would yeah in this scenario next to the mashed potatoes next to the pizza i'd use it like i would like oh i'd use the pizza like a but you kind of annex it yeah i would i would put like mashed potatoes and then the pizza would section off a part of the plate and then the mashed potatoes so then after you get the ranch you look down and you're like well corn is over the mashed potatoes i don't know how i didn't see that so you go back down over there you get some corn and you're like, fuck, I like hot sauce on my pizza. Why didn't I think of that

when I was over by the pizza? You go back, you get some hot sauce and then you're like, you know what else I like is fried chicken and potato wedges. Those are both by the mashed potatoes. So you go kind of back down there and you get some fried chicken and potato wedges. And then you're like, well, I like hot sauce on my fried chicken as well. So you go back and you put some hot sauce on it and then, you know, back and forth until you have a crippling like, well, I like hot sauce on my fried chicken as well. So you go back and you put some hot sauce on it. And then, you know, back and forth until you have a crippling case of diarrhea. I think, you know, it's like old buffet shot and young buffet shot. Oh, yeah, exactly.

Darth Bufader, dude. Yeah, exactly. Basically, what it means is you pick fourth in the first round. You pick first in the second round. Yeah. If you don't want to be creative, I guess. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, sure.

That made a lot more sense. Either way, I get it. We'll just do it like a horseshoe. Me, Sean, David, Zach, Ian. Oh, me, Sean. Me, Sean. Yeah, me, Sean. Andrew, Sean's on the show.

Sean, David, Zach. Hot corner. Ian Carmel, hot corner. Hot middle. Me, Sean. Okay, so board games is what we're drafting. Board games is what we're drafting. Sean, you have the first pick and we'll get to it right after this short break.

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we're back. Welcome back to all fantasy. Every, the only podcast that has ever existed. Ask your grandparents. We were around then. We'll be around when you're a grandparent. Dude,

when you, when you hit the, yeah, we're back. Like It feels like light speed when you're in Star Wars. It kicks you back and you're like, oh, we're back in it. Five bucks says Shane's here. Come in. Our package has arrived.

He has arrived. He's in the building. He is among us. We all just cheered because Shane got mugged outside. He has arrived. He's in the building. He is among us. We all just cheered because Shane got mugged outside. We all watched it happen. He got stabbed. Shane, do you want to say hello to the people? Hey, folks.

How are you? He was walking around wrapped in toilet paper as he normally is, and everybody mugged him. Like a mummy? A new currency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are about to start a fantasy draft. Oh, what are you guys drafting?

We're drafting board games today. Shane asked, what are we drafting? And I answered, board games, I said. He was at? I was at Helen's last night, and I was looking at her board games, and one of them was literally called Pandemic. Yes. Sorry if I was at Helen's last night and I was looking at her board games and one of them was literally called Pandemic. Sorry if I was taking...

No, I didn't have it. I don't think any of us are big board game heads like that. People are going to get pissed. They're like, why didn't you take 36 hours of horse birth? Yeah. Well, that's one of them. Yeah, what are you doing? That one's a little more common.

I'm talking about those really weird ones. Why didn't you pick, why is my mom sleeping? Yeah, why didn't you take this game where it's eight hours and it's whoever can put a latex glove on first, but you have to roll dice to do it. Sean, John, what's your first board game pick? Best board game of all time, without a doubt, Scrabble. Scrabble.

I can't even spell. See, what was all that talk earlier where I was like, please, please don't come at me like I can't read. I'm just like an animal at Scrabble. And here it is, one of my best friends on the planet. I'm just like, I'm an animal at Scrabble, so I pissed. Like, I got it.

I got the lock-in tiles. We can get it shaken tonight. A-N-I-M-A-L. Is that, do you think that proves your prowess at Scrabble by P-R-O-W-E-S-S? I was going to try prowess, and I was like, no, then I was going to do proofs. I would have said P-R-O-W-E-S-S. I was going to try Prowse and I was like, no, then I was going to do Proofs. I would have said P-R-O-U.

You spelled it. It also Scrabble, so much more of it is about title utilization than it is knowing how to spell well. You have to know your two letter words. U-T-I-L-I-Z-A-T-I-O-N. Utilization. Yeah, it's just a great ass game.

It's been my favorite game my entire life. I used to play with my great grandma. You're a bit words with friends guy too. Yeah. Until we accidentally said it. Is Bananagrams like that too? Bananagrams is not a board game. Can we talk about it?

It's not a board game. I don't know about Bananagrams. Well, there's not a board, but it is like Scrabble, right? Well, fuck. You already said it. Bananagrams, you get like 50 letters. That is a board game. Bananagramsrabble, right? Well, fuck, you already said it. Bananagrams, you get like 50 letters. That is a board game. Bananagrams?

Yeah. Oh, fuck, my bad. Anyway, Bananagrams is amazing too. I wasn't either. Yeah, it wasn't on mine. Yeah, I love Scrabble, man. I do too. It's perfect.

It's great. And like joking aside, which I know the theme of this is joking, but that has helped me spell, like learn how to spell a bunch of stuff. And it's helped me through that to spell a bunch of stuff. It's helped me through that stuff. QI. How many times have you had restaurants and you're like, don't know which order these go in.

Yeah. The planning of Scrabble is so fun. Also, when you get deep, you know the letter count. Well, there's only one. If you know how many M's there are and you see that there's four on the board and it's fun to play like that on the board and you can kind of watch those Z's and K's

you're playing like three games at once it's tight man and like you set yourself up like you put an O next to a triple letter and you know that you have like an N that you can get the triple letter or like down to the triple word neutralize off the N-E-U-T-R

A-L-I-Z-E Was that way off? No, I think you said it right. I think I spelled neutralize. Shane's right in your kitchen, dude. He just sat behind me, dude. You can't do that. I like this energy.

Me too. I'd prefer it if you had some clothes on. Weren't you going to take a shower? You just sat right here You don't get to talk, you don't have a microphone man, Shane's naked What? Drink it up ladies I guess they're not woke in New York

It's not cool to call everyone ladies Shane Dickhead dickhead. Sean's actually got really serious. It's a little bit of both. Like water for vodka. You know, it's midnight. Why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I?

There's scotch down there, too. It's interesting what your hierarchy is. I'll get to it. All right. I'm working my way. You don't start on the last level of a video game. I'm going to finish these vodka waters first. Vodka waters. It's like someone's third wife just getting drunk at home.

You're acting just like Tammy. I think I'm just going to drink vodka and peek out the windows. You're talking about when I worked for Hulu. Yeah, yeah. I used to walk around with the laptop and big old headphones just looking out the window like, what's the fucking young man doing out there?

You're still always on watch. I'm a snoopy little devil. Yeah, yeah. And you haven't been kissing in a while, so it's been more than usual. You like to kiss. We've been kissing. I kiss.

I kiss. You and Laura kissed. I kiss. Yeah, yeah. K-I-S-S. Yeah, I kiss. I kiss. You and Laura kiss. I kiss. Yeah, yeah. We kiss. K-I-S-S. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I kiss.

I'm getting it. I kiss, dude. Oh, I kiss. Yeah, yeah. It's you at the coffee shop. Are you talking about kissing? Yeah, I mean, I guess. I think I've been less snoopy lately

if we really want to get into it. I'm more of a kissy devil. Yeah. I'm just going to get Americano today because I've been kissing a lot. Honestly, these days, I'm more of a fuck angel. Wow.

Whoa. I used to have a subscription. You're more of a David Blaine guy. Yeah, you know. Fuck angel. That's like something you would Google on the back of an Uber. Vagina images though. All right, fine.

I told these guys earlier that the other, that yesterday, I don't want to say the other day. Yesterday. I tried to put some distance on it. Yesterday. I'm honest. I'm not going to lie. Yesterday. Are you trying to put some distance on it? Yesterday. I'm honest. I'm not going to lie. Yesterday, I googled perfect boobs.

It's a subjective term. When it comes up, it's like underwear commercials. Yeah, it's not even pictures of naked women. Right. It should have been a picture of you that came up because you're a perfect boob. A perfect boob. Stay tuned for more 1940s face-to-face. Yeah, it should have been you, you perfect boob.

Right here on All Fantasy Everything. I can't wait till alcohol is legal again. All right, for one. Scrabble, dude. Yeah, Scrabble, man. Best board game of all time. It's always been my favorite. Always will be.

Yeah. It's fun. There's just enough of like fucking the other person. The perfect amount of time, too, which is nice. Some elements of intelligence. It's not all luck, but luck is a factor. Yeah. It's fun. There's just enough of like fucking the other person. The perfect amount of time too, which is nice. Some elements of intelligence. It's not all luck, but luck is a factor. Sure. Yeah.

David, time for your first pick. Taking the ball breaker. I'm taking the candy taker. Monopoly, of course. Yes. Monopoly. Great. When you said candy taker, I thought that was a different thing.

I was like, very surprising. You pissed at your friends for three days in a row. Here's my thing. I love playing Monopoly, but I hate it when people bail on the game. When you're like three hours in, you're like, you can't. It was going to be five hours.

It's a social contract. It's going to be more than five hours. Yo. I think five is a good number. Dude, when I was a kid, we used to go hammer and like back alley deals inside. Sure.

Hey, you want to go to the bathroom real quick? Do a bunch of blowings. Monopoly's fucked up, dude. Do a Hey, yeah. Yeah. Go to the bathroom real quick. Yeah. But you're blowing this fucked up. Do a bunch of pixie sticks with like my mom and her friends like played with like a I don't know. I've never played Monopoly with black people. I never. I didn't mean to laugh. Sean has not.

You have Sioux Falls. Yes. He's from Chocolate City. That's what Zach looks like when he lies. Oh. I've never played Monopoly with black people. I've never played Monopoly at the hardest level with other Jews. I'm not going to switch. You have to go to New York and play.

Like that Jay-Z song? You play Monopoly with real cash. Times Square mark me down actually selling property I thought you owned the waterworks Judah I got most of the rewards I was following against them

Monopoly is always great a lot of bang for your buck kids Monopoly used to go hard I love a game of Monopoly but it's like you gotta be in for it I'll say some shit that I love a game of Monopoly, but it's like you got to be in for it. I'll say some shit that I wouldn't. I'll get pissed and I don't like getting mad at my friends, but I'll get mad.

I like all the spin-offs, like all the different additions that you can have. Oh, you can have like Denver. Denver-nopoly or whatever. Denver-nopoly. There's definitely Portland-opoly. Or it's like you bought Voodoo Donuts. Yeah, that's how. It's like, you bought Voodoo Donuts. Yeah, that's how the Denver one is.

You bought Voodoo Donuts. You called Polly. And Denver's like, you bought Voodoo Donuts. Zach? Clue. Oh. Very fun. Very mysterious.

It was Zach Disconi in the Portraits of Solid Dudes with a clue pick. Ooh. Colonel Mustard in the butt. Yeah. In the foyer? I don't know. I've never. It's been a long time since I've played. Colonel Butt Stuff in the butt. In the foyer? I don't know. It's been a long time since I've played.

Colonel Butt Stuff. Colonel Butt Stuff in the mustard. Colonel Butt Stuff in the mustard tunnel as they call it. I used to be a general, but they demoted me after what I did to the butt. That's the grossest name for a butthole. The mustard tunnel is the worst.

Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. That's horrible. All right, everybody, please welcome Colonel Buttstuff and the mustard tunnels. Oh, man. Oh. Ian's going to need a little French birth control. I had just taken such a big swig of yerba mate. Oh, I almost sprayed it all over my computer.

Colonel Buttst stuff in the mustard tunnel. Gross. It's so funny. Oh my god. I hate it. I love mustard. I love it, but man, I hate it. Who would have thought mustard tunnel would roll out so well? Stop it.

You just say it more. Stop it. Oh. No. It's gonna be, it's gonna come up in like three seconds. Three, two, one. Mustard tunnel. No. Sorry, Marissa. That's the most sorry I've ever been to you. I don't like that when I'm dry, you

talk like that and I get wet, but not in the way you want. Not just you, bud. Not just you, my friend. No, it's just me. Like you're in just a bog or something. Yeah, like a cranberry bog. I'm in a hot bog and I'm far from home. Like sex in a dumpster. Hot bog, that's the cologne that Chain

wears. Hot bog. Chain's dapping you up from afar. Fun game. You get to analyze a crime. You get to accuse people. It's kind of a moody type game. The board is very cool. I've seen one of the rare

board games to be adapted to a motion picture. Motion picture is very, very funny. It's star-studded. That motion picture. That's a great movie. Is Battleship the only other one? Come on. Don't talk about

one of Shane's favorite movies while he's right there Happy Birthday Rihanna yeah Clues I think Laura's like

probably third favorite movie oh three Migos the Music Man Clue yeah three Migos Music Man Clue

those are the top Music Man number two there's Trouble her dad I'll tell you this her dad did that for his high school done for us? Yeah. Three Amigos, Music Man and Clue. Those are the top three. Music Man number two. There's Trouble. Her dad. I'll tell you this. Her dad did that for his high school talent show. He also did it at Christmas. The whole song. Really? It was he did it perfectly. General sounds pretty cool.

It was dope, dude. Do you ever call him to save some time? Or you could go online. Yeah, I gotta go there. Does he know Shaq? You guys both say that at the exact same time. Does he know Shaq? All three of us said it. That's crazy.

No, me too. Does he know Shaq? Yeah, Clue's a great pick. Clue is a fantastic pick. It's a fantastic movie. Time for my pick? Your pick. Boy, it is. I got two picks in a row, as it is the hot corner. It's a fantastic movie. Time for my pick? Your pick. Boy, it is. I got two picks in a row, as it is

the hot corner in the Serpentine Draft. I got to take my favorite board game of all time. Trivial Pursuit. I bet it is, you arrogant prick. You love showing people. That was way too mean, and I apologize immediately. No, keep going.

Come into the door. I didn't change it. I look what he's right here. You're going to call me an arrogant prick while I'm sitting in the same room as the Emmy I won this year. Oh, that shadow is crazy.

It's a good shadow. Yeah. No, Trivial Pursuit's like right up your alley. It's right up my mustard tunnel dude i love trivial pursuit it's just fun i just really like trivia yeah i often find with uh uh this is a weird thing to say during this uh episode but i find most games to be trivial ironically yes you know what i mean because i'm like there's so much luck and there is certainly luck in trivial pursuit but it's like a lot

of like, I love trivia. The way my brain works is I hold on to facts and I love to flex that muscle. It's fun. Yeah, I agree. I think you should try out for Jeopardy. I really do. I want to. Yeah, I really should. I think you and Adam both should. Yeah, now that you're on hiatus. Furlough, yeah dude.

Go over there. No, you're not in prison. Go down to Santa Monica, see what I can go over there I'm on furlough no you're not in prison going down to Santa Monica see what I can't scrape up I'm on a radical you're not fucking your wife by the gate I'm on radical sabbatical

right now dude I just love it I love that little I love sliding the little pie pieces into that thing I hate when they get stuck oh yeah there's nothing that makes

me more mad maybe other than poverty give it up for me you know I was about to I google image search trivial pursuit oh yeah I was going to tell you

it didn't start as an image search I looked up trivial pursuit questions and then I realized wait I'm only seeing one side of the image. So just the question. So I have some, but I have no idea. What do you got? What eastern US state is home

to the trash museum complete with a simulated landfill? Oh, that's Delaware. What world do you live in again? I'm going's say Michigan. I just roasted Shane. He's on our mic. I'm getting the points now too.

Vis-a-vis. The trash museum complete with a simulated landfill? That one I don't know. I like the ones where maybe you would have heard it at some point. I'd say Michigan. That's not an eastern state. It It's a Midwestern state, right? Michigan?

Yeah, it is. Oh, it's Eastern? I didn't hear that part of the question. Rhode Island? New Mexico. Oh, I bet New Jersey. That's a good one. Shane said, Shane said,

what's a state? He said, what a state you're in. You silly, silly boy. mic. He said, what's a state? He said, what a state you're in. You silly, silly boy. Well, I mean, it's midnight.

It's crime to have a drink at midnight. No, I told you I only see one side of the image. These are all so hard. The garbage museum is in Stratford, Connecticut. Connecticut. Yeah.

So trivially pursuit's my first pick. Good job. Ooh. And with my second pick... Damn. Shit is going quick, huh? I'm going to take the original. I'm taking chess.

Oh. Yeah. Look at you. I'm taking fucking chess. Playing against death, huh? Chess is tricky for me. I'm not... I know the rules.

Like, I know how to play, but... Shit's for everyone. Shane said no shit after Sean said chess is tricky for me. You're going to check his motherfucker if I'm in that one. You're going to check his motherfucker if I'm in that one. Stop naming their board games. I don't know. It's pretty funny.

It was pretty funny. I blasted you. Yeah, that was pretty good. Keep showing those chips in your mouth that you open without asking. Put it in my mustard tunnel instead. Yeah, chess. I love it. I started playing it in early grade school.

It seems hard to be good at. Yeah, for sure. There's a lot of strategy. I just knew that an intellectual game Yeah, for sure. Well, I think there's like a lot of strategy. Like there's... And there's like... She's like, hella. I just knew that like an intellectual game is just not where I'm going to be thriving. Yeah, I need something.

So I let go pretty early where I was like, well, that seems... I'm more of a Connect Four type of guy. You know what I'm saying? Stop saying games. Stop saying games. Stop saying games. Is that...

Yeah. Would we consider that? It's a vertical board. We're gonna. Yeah. Okay. We will consider it will absolutely well i didn't know i'm sorry yeah i really enjoy i just enjoy the strategy i'm not i'm not like amazing at it i would never claim to be like an amazing chess player but like i really enjoy it it's a fun

game to have like a conversation during yeah uh you know it's fun is when it's like the table yeah like instead you're like oh it's just a chess board. Look at that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I enjoy it. The pieces are cool. When you have one of those like on a beach where it's like life size. Oh, and the life size ones? You get to be,

you get to be a chess piece. Oh yeah, those are great. Like in Cadoumel. They have giant chess pieces in the park at Golden Gate Park. Have you ever played it where it's real men? Yeah.

When you have him. You mean, have I gone to war? Move forward! Like an L! L your way forward to that other boy. Oh, is he wet? That boy. Bring me a sparkling boy.

Chess. Somewhere I still have some chess club trophies. Chess club 7. Oh, no shit. I was pretty i was pretty good at it was it three-dimensional chess fuck no dude i don't play that shit was that like star trek four-dimensional chess oh uh god what's the one that's just called life bro let the wookie win bro zach time for your second pick second pick okay i have this one could be i

have a question if this counts as a board game twister yeah okay yeah twister purely as a playing it as a young kid i would never play that now i would be like rubbing up against i just like that it was as a dumb person a little easier to handle i was like oh put my hand there and that's yellow this is my right yeah exactly you can really look at it you go can we is everyone confirmed this is my right hand and no one's gonna laugh and they go not? And they go, Zach, hold the L up. Which one makes an actual L and which one is a backwards L? And then I see the L and they go, that's you now. And then I go, actually, I only know how to do a pitchfork with my

hand because I'm a twister. It was everywhere. There was like, it felt like there was like four or five summers where it was just like, that was in the rotation. It was an easy game to play. You can go in and out of, you're like playing and then you run away for a little bit. Do you remember when puberty hit and everybody would pretend like people

were playing naked twister? Yep. Yeah. I heard they were playing naked twister. I bet that's what my... I bet that's what my mom and Steve are doing on vacation right now. What? I remember... The weird kid at the party. I remember going to like, you know, soda parties, like make-out

parties essentially and there'd be Twister there, like a soda party where you just had like chips and soda, but it was, you're making out. Is that a Midwestern term? Yeah. I think I might've just said that, but like,

it'd be like, Hey, I'm having a party and you'd have chips and soda. And then you'd get to go and like, you'd have the basement and then everyone's just make it out. But Twister was like a good gateway. We weren't all fucking in the sixth grade. Anyway.

Yeah. That was a good grade where you had girls sleep over, you know? Yeah, sorry. But Twister, dude. Twister. I have no input other than it was a terrible thing to see as a fat kid. Yeah, that wasn't It was a horror when that got brought out.

A horror. Not just as a fat, just as like way bigger than everyone else. What am I going to do on here? What am I going to fucking do? I'm going to strip down to my fucking bugle boy ankle socks. I'm not going to do it. Sure.

Can we play instead? What happened? Junior Trivial Pursuit. That's what I want to do. I bet when everyone was at the pool before the board game started, you went into the closet and you just ripped up the Twister bag. Oh, it's a shame. The dog must have gotten through it.

Somebody burned the Twister. Oh, no. Do you have a big piece of butcher's paper we can make out? Oh, my God. The hamster that I left out for the aliens must have broken into the Twister box. It was a guinea pig, but I appreciate you remembering that part. Oh, God. The hamster that I left out for the aliens must have broken into the twister box. Guinea pig, but I appreciate you even remembering that part.

Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. The Guinea pigs been quarantined, dude. We had a good hamster. Locked down.

Three hamsters. You can make that joke. I don't know that I can. Okay. I know the rules on it. Yeah. Guinea pigs. It sounds weird when you put them together.

Yeah. I mean, it was an officer. Yeah, guinea pigs. It sounds weird when you put them together. I mean, it was an officer. These fucking guinea pigs. God damn. That sounds so... A slight difference. God, this fucking... My room smells like shit because of these guinea pigs. Who would have named that?

What's that called? It's a guinea pig. Someone under a tremendous amount of pressure. Yeah, like so. Is that what you're going to go with, Jeremy? That's what you're going to call him? It was the usual suspects when they're in New York and they're like, uh. She's cool, but she's roommates with a guinea pig.

What is this called? You can tell she was surrounded by guinea pigs when she grew up. I don't like this anymore. David, what about your second pick? My second pick. Has a first name. Has a first name.

This is another childhood man. This is a childhood man. You know what I'm saying? It taught you to focus. Oh, no. I know what this is. Operation. Get that funny bone. That dexterity.

Get that funny bone out before whatever the fuck is going on. That game is intensity in ten cities, dude. The hand-eye coordination. And when the pressure's on, your hand's shaking a little bit. I don't know that I ever actually knew the rules to operation. Is it just you see how many pieces you can get? You pull a card and it tells you what to get. Funny bone, bread basket, butterflies in the stomach.

And then you win if you get the most. Yeah, something like that. I assume. You're a doctor. It's really all about getting a quarter on a wood table and trying to make a beat between the bread. It would? Or is his nose just red? It's really all about getting a quarter on a wood table and trying to make a beat between the man. It would buzz and then his nose would light up.

Yeah, yeah. Squam. Because he was drunk. Yeah. He was kind of a fat guy, too. He was a fat guy with a red nose and the worst haircut I've ever seen. It was based after Bobby Kennedy.

He had that part of the middle, like fucking hair going back and forth. You know what I mean? Yeah, the wiener cut. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Straight down the middle have that part of down the middle like fucking hair going back and forth like you know what i mean like yeah the wiener oh that's right yeah yeah straight down the middle that part that's still around i don't know i don't see it is it do you part your hair straight down the middle is it happening right now i mean kind of a little bit oh all right uh sean talk about your second and third picks uh my second, I'm going one of my childhood favorites obviously is Candyland I love the game Candyland

It was such a fun It was so colorful You didn't have to know how to count You didn't have to know shit You really didn't have to know a god damn thing to play Candyland It was just like, okay This is very stimulating

It was a delicious looking game too yeah was it like i can't remember it was like there was like clouds and like lollipops and everything was like rainbow color all the cards like you get a card you flip it over you're like well this looks fun it's almost like it's real candy even the bad guy was like licorice right yeah yeah there was like uh licorice no. Gumdrop Place or some shit. Gumdrop Place. I don't know. It was just a really fun...

Big dark candy mountain. So reading Candyland's Wikipedia description, Candyland is a simple... Not a lot of words. Racing board game. It's a simple game for non-readers. Play Candyland before you start reading in 6th grade, 7th

grade, and 8th grade as an actual class that you took when you swear a bunch of other people to do. Your characters are Mr. Mint, the Duke of Swirl, Grandma Nut. That guy just loves iteration. Grandma Nut. That's what Sean searched on the internet last night. Grandma Nut.

Grandma Nut. King Candy, Jolly, Plumpy. These are all porn terms. Mama Ginger Tree, Cupcake Commons. Go to X Videos right now and type

in Mama Ginger Tree. Princess Lolly. Queen Frostine. Lord Licorice. Gloppy. Grandma Gooey. Also with Sean Google. Grandma Nut for a while, then it's Grandma Gooey.

Fluffy Puffer. Was this game always overly sexual? I didn't know. Those are all wildly sexual. Is Candyland a dungeon? Man. Candyland was the first sex- You're Grandma Gooey.

You guys all had to pay like $1,000 each time you played, right? Just like I did. Fluffy Puffer. You saw Chuck Rhodes in there all the time? Yeah. Chuck Rhodes. Oh, God. Getting peed on in Candyland. When is Candyland coming back? How's that starting again? I don't know. Pissing the time. Yeah. Chuck Rose. Oh God. Getting peed on in candy.

How's that starting again? I don't know. Pissing me off. Yeah. And your third pick. My third pick is going to be sorry. I love sorry. What's your pick?

Sorry. No, it's okay. Go ahead. Who? What are you going to pick? What? What's your next pick? Sorry.

It's okay. Just make your pick. I'm going to pick sorry. What are you going to pick? Don't apologize. That's what we do. Sorry. That's okay just make your pick i'm gonna pick sorry what are you gonna pick don't apologize that's what we do sorry that's okay go ahead okay well i'm gonna make my pick now okay go ahead this is my pick yep sorry what for what sorry i don't give a darn sorry huh yeah i like it okay is that a pie piece game too? No. Is it like you can knock people out? They kind of look like nipples. You're trying to free people from like a prison, right?

Well, no, it was like... You're moving to a prison? You had... I think you had four pieces each. So there was four pieces. It was like red, blue, green, and yellow. And you just moved around the board and then you climbed your ladder into your home base,

which kind of looked like a thermometer, if I'm picturing it right. Oh, yeah. Thermometer piece kind of looked like a... Like a joystick. You're trying to get it home. Yeah, like an out... Didn't it have a bubble popper thing for the dice?

Different game. Oh. But yeah, that was what we played after my paper route. Oh, sorry, I'm thinking of... Yeah, yeah. My paper route every day, I had the Argus Leader paper route when I was a kid.

And every day after we'd do it, because it was like five in the morning, we'd go get Brenda's pastries and then go play Sorry at home. Me and my mom and my aunt Kim and Summer, who were basically my age. Brenda's got a brand new Sorry. A pastry. Yeah, and the little homes look like a little Jewish star.

If you remember. A star of David. It was a British game. Really? Oh, sorry. Over there was actually Sorry Gov. Sorry. Very terribly sorry. It's called Pardon. It was pardon. I was saying it. It was subsequently sold in the UK by Waddingtons,

the British games manufacturer. TJ Waddingtons. Waddingtons. Fluffy Puffer. Fluffy Puffer Waddington. Sorry, support game. He's a friend of Teddy Wedges, isn't he? H.R. Teddy Wedges.

Hello. Terribly sorry. H.R. Teddy Wedges. I believe you have a reservation under my name. Man, I just had some Teddy Wedges. isn't he? HR Teddy Wedges. I'm terribly sorry. HR Teddy Wedge. I believe you have a reservation under my name. Man, I just had some Teddy Wedges. It was dope. Ooh-wee. Sorry.

Yeah, we played a lot of Sorry in the Carmel House when we were growing up, too. Sue Carmel's a big Sorry fan, if I remember correctly. I bet you do. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty fun. It's about, like, moving, like, you can move pieces.

Really? A lot of these games are pretty easy. It was a round, right, board? It's kind of... I was about to bring up another game. All the pieces were round. Your little fucking joystick looking things.

The nubs. I think if you landed on someone else's square, you could knock them off. They had to start over. I think so. You sent them back home. You sent them to the starting point. Once you got into your little capsule thing, you were safe. Then you had to roll the right number to actually get home.

Exactly, which is like another game, an older game, but I will not bring up, bruv. Yeah, I like Sorry a lot. Beautiful. Sorry, David, your third pick. So this game was, ooh, it was a Cadillac, if you could find one working. Okay.

In proper working order with all the pieces. Ooh. And this is a game, people hardly ever actually played the game, but the game was also fun. you could find one working. Okay. In proper working order with all the pieces. Oh. And this is the game. People hardly ever actually played the game, but the game was also fun. Mouse Trap. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Definitely. But it was so hard to make yourself put the time in to set it up. Yeah. I remember like a grippy kid. You don't have a lot of patience. They'd have it, and we'd look at it, and we'd be like, yeah, let's play something something else because we didn't want to sit and take the time

but when you did it was like the most rewarding it was so much fun yeah dude the guy jumped into the barrel at there then the hot tub or whatever in the end who doesn't want like a rube goldberg machine on their board game i'm saying yeah it was so much fun dude but remember so many times like you would start setting that up and then like 20 minutes and you'd be like i don't have on their board game i'm saying yeah it was so much fun dude but remember so many times like you would start setting that up and then like 20 minutes and you'd be like i don't have a little fucking piece yeah yeah yeah i never even owned for a mousetrap in my home i don't know i don't think i did either i think it was like i don't think anyone owned it no no no it was always doctor's offices and your mom's weird friend's house. It was like in doctor's offices

with those things where you'd grab a thing and it was like on a wire and you just had to like, ooh. Oh, yeah. Like a little wooden block. I'll still play with those when I go to the doc. Look, I'll move this block to its predetermined location.

Yeah, and then we had Abacus, which was supposed to be fun. Yeah. It's all they used to do by now. Oh, satisfying. Six and four becomes 10. Look at that. Wow.

I love that game. Everybody loved that game. Yeah, satisfying. Six and four becomes ten. Look at that. Wow. I love that game. Everybody loves that game. Yeah, I'm with you. It was like Power Wheels. It was like, wow. Dude, we were over Halloween. We were with Laura's nephew and we were just like going around looking at haunted house. Like, you know, Portland like has a grip of

decorated houses. And these two little girls got in a what are they called power wheel like it was a real car like they were going somewhere like they were having an adult it seemed like an adult conversation wow they got in should have taken their keys shut the doors at the same time and then they backed up and then drove to the park wow like they were grown-ups going somewhere and laura's nephew was just standing there like jaw on the ground like yeah i don't you can't unsee that man when i saw pat but dude yeah because it's a fucking car for that for a kid you're like that's a fucking

i live in apartments nobody ever had them we knew we knew people that had them like when we got off the block we'd go to someone's crib and there would be like somebody with a part was only one person in like a neighborhood i didn't even nobody anybody who like had like any kids who had them how much none of my cost i bet you they're like 300 not even nobody, anybody who like had like any kids who had them. How much do you think they cost? I bet you they're like $300. Not even. I looked. They're like,

they're not even that much money. Really? This was back then. So like, the fuck was Ivan Carmel doing? I just remember, I remember the, he had a portion.

I didn't have any power wheels. I remember the song too. Pow, pow, power wheels. Leading the way. Dad, how can I make power moves without my power wheel he didn't

understand i got a meeting at 3 45 and i it's gonna take me two hours to get there i gotta bring these creepy crawlers to the top of the cul-de-sac at 3 45 and i gotta walk them up like you didn't go to fucking binghamton spencer's gonna be there spencer's got nine of them yeah dude fucking power wheel fucking baron yeah. Yeah, that shit is horseshit. Zach, you're a third pick? Third pick. Okay. Do we consider this a board game?

Taboo. Taboo? I think so. Which one's taboo? Because there's no board. We consider it tabooly. Which one's taboo? It's a delicious treat.

But there is a... How do you play taboo? You have to guess stuff, right? It gives you... Oh, without saying the one word. Yeah. No, they give you like a list of five that you can't say. It's for sure a board game.

Just so you know. Yeah. You don't need a board to have a board game. I feel like if it comes like in a box and you play it on a surface, it's a board game. Well, that's what I was thinking. If people were like, we're going to play board games, they brought that out, you'd be like, yeah, okay. I don't think I've ever played Taboo.

How do you play it? It's very fun. You'd be really good at it. It's almost like charades, but you get the card, and you're trying to describe one word, and then it gives you five closely related to words that you can't say.

You eat the seeds on road trips. They're mad salty. Baseball players spit them out. It cuts your mouth. You eat too many of them. You probably couldn't say salty. Oh, I couldn't? Maybe. You wouldn't be able to say plant. You wouldn't be able to say plant you wouldn't be able to say like words you can't say yeah it's got like five words you can't say and it's like the top probably most used words to describe that if you're wavy it's like really easy i'm real wavy dude yeah sunflower i'd be like the star that our solar system revolves around you know crow used to have videos full of them in the 90s

exactly there you go used to be your wallpaper if you had a used to have videos full of them in the 90s exactly there you go used to be your wallpaper if you had a windows computer those are one of those fun games put them on their hats you play with a couple and then there's like inside shit where they just they're like yeah kenny loggins like oh sunflower obviously right right okay we were playing oh okay we were playing once with uh my little sister's boyfriend at the time. Nice. And he was up. And he is describing the word to us. And he's like, it's like a private, if you have like VIP tickets to go watch something. And we were like, oh, like front row seats for all this stuff.

The box. And he's like, that's close. That's close. But it's like for a specific type of performance by women. And we were like, okay, what? And so the end of the thing is he's in room it we don't he doesn't ever we don't ever answer the question and we're like well what was the word and he was like ballet box and we're like that's not a let me look at that and it was ballot box. Oh, boy. Damn, you really just dropped his shit to 50,000 downloaders? Wow. You really put my man on blizzards.

Not in the family anymore. Oh, okay. Fuck that dude. He's the great anyways. He's shit, bro. Yeah. Maybe come back around here when you learn how to read.

Dumb fuck tweeted that guy instead. Well, let's not go on. Let's not get crazy. We just said you know how to read. I appreciate that. Thank you. It was Sean. You are not instilling We just said you know how to read. I appreciate that. Thank you. It was Sean. You are not instilling confidence.

Sean used to date my little sister. Aretha Franklin over here. Aretha? Sure. Taboo. Taboo. Taboo for my boo. That's it.

Zach just got a Valentine's Day present. Taboo for my boo. My third pick. I'm going to take the game Cranium. Okay. I was going to, but I'm not perfect with the game Cranium. Okay, I was gonna, but I'm not perfect with the rules. So I would have felt bad picking it. What are the rules?

Of Cranium? Yeah. Because I know I like, well, I know I like it. I just, I couldn't remember exactly how to play it when I was looking it up. It comes with like instructions. Yeah. There's like, you have to complete like five different tasks, right? It's like different parts of your brain each question though. Yeah yeah that's your brain so this game is fun there's also

i think some questions you can like pick which how to describe it so one's like a cloodle you know where you make a like you draw it and then there's a clay one you're absolutely right exactly the car's right because you like you make shit out of you like you have to make a car out of clay or something yeah it's the game for your whole brain dude that's right yeah that's fun man that'd be fun to play soon i think so yeah sketch and sculpt word puzzles fun facts act and hum oh yeah there's a singing one you can do right you have to like hum danger zone or something all different parts of your brain it's really fun man yeah we played like we went through a pretty heavy cranium phase or my family would went through some board game phases and cranium was definitely one of them.

We play board games still. I do escape rooms like crazy. But like we'll go to this place called Game Night in Portland. It's called Marriage. Huh? Yeah. It's the escape room. You fucking you go and like you pay five bucks to get in and then they just have like a hundred

games that you can just go pick and play. That's pretty fun. Yeah. Super fun. Back when there's no when there's no plague. Yeah, when we used to be around others. Applebee's used to have that too, where they just have a corner where it's like,

hey, here's some board games. Applebee's had board games? Yeah. Really? A lot of restaurants I feel like have board games in the corners, but no one ever like, let me go explore what they have for everybody. Texas Roadhouse would have like some shit with the pieces. Yeah. I do remember that. I do remember that.

Trivial Pursuit is in Fire in the Mountain. Oh, yeah. Every table's got a kind of fun. Too bad I'm cramming those pickles. Damn, those fried pickles, dude. Man, I got some last time we were there. I'm in hot pursuit. Nothing trivial about that.

The trivia about that pursuit of pickles. No, no, no. The fuego de go. I'm about that pursuit of pickles. No, no, no. I'm on a pursuit of fried pickles and I Right behind you Pull over, Mr. Pickle. Wait.

Who are you talking to? Zach's doing some role playing. Pull over, Mr. Pickle. If I said pursuit of pickle, you're like following playing. Pull over, Mr. Pickle. Pursuit of Pickle. You're like following them. You're pursuing them. All right, after the date, let's go home. I want you to be a pickle cop and I'm going to be Mr. Pickle.

And I want you to come up behind me and say, pull over, Mr. Pickle. And then we have sex on the floor. Pull over, Mr. Pickle. Mr. Pickle, slow down. You're going too fast. Mr. Pickle, do you have any idea how fast you were going? Mr. Pickle.

I was not ready for that. Mr. Pickle's juicy. Oh, that's very funny. Pull over, Mr. Pickle. Pull over, Mr. Pickle. Mr. Pickle, stop right there. Mr. Pickle, Mr. Giggle. Put your fucking hands up, Mr. Pickle. Pull over, Mr. Pickle. Mr. Pickle, stop right there. Mr. Pickle, Mr. Giggle. What was it?

Put your fucking hands up, Mr. Pickle. Mr. Giggle-stein? Was that? What was it last week? I can't remember. Giggle-stein or something like that. Giggle-stein, yeah. Giggle-berg.

Oh, Giggle-berg. Giggle-berg. Giggle-berg. Pickle-stein. Yeah, you can play a lot of it. It's just fun. And then my fourth one, I'm taking the game of life. Yeah, dude.

It was fucking fun. Life was great. That thing you would spin was's fun. And then my fourth one, I'm taking the game of life. Yeah, dude. It was fucking fun. Life was great. That thing you would spin was really fun. That was like built into those mountains. You mean that thing that I broke every time I got my hands on it? Did you?

I would always just try to fucking just spin the fuck out of it. I feel bad for any of your early lovers because I had a gentleman's touch with that thing. Uh-huh. A gentleman's touch. I wouldn't get in there

and just fuck the fuck out of it. I would spin it gently. Yeah, I don't get in there and just whip the fuck out of it. I'd spin it gently. Yeah, I don't spin gently, man. He's got the wrist motion. Yeah. Think of it like a tiny little penis. You get the whole whip. You get kitted up. It's so fun. You'd be in that little car.

What, I got daughters? I got a car full of daughters? Why not? Life comes at you fast. And that's a quick game, too. Yeah, it seems like it should be all long, like Monopoly, but it ain't. It's what? 40 minutes.

You spend an hour playing it. It depends on how many people you got going. Before you know it. Is that an old game? Is it like Monopoly where it was invented during the 50s? Yeah. It was like one of those, like, you need a family type games.

You let a girl in the malt shop. Good job. You're 23. You can buy a house now. God. It was like that kind of game. Off the GI Bill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you sell tires. You can buy a mansion. Yeah, life.

Zach, time for your fourth pick. Well, it came up earlier, but no one has still picked it. I'm going to take Battleship. Battleship? Yeah. Fantastic. It really got us used for laptops. I feel like laptops were easier. Oh, yeah.

I'm familiar. I'd like a foam latte, please. Just go to a coffee shop and open a half a Battleship. Hello, Linda. Do you hear me? E-7. If you post it up to a coffee shop and open a half a battleship. Hello, Linda. Do you hear me? E-7. If you posted up at a coffee shop and opened just a game of battleship and then just anytime

anyone walked in, you were just kind of looking at them like, oh. I'm going to need everyone to disavow what they're looking at on my map. Buy a coffee. Come over. What's all over your battleship? That's bagel crumbs. It's like how people play chess, you know, over the way over the yeah, over the mail. You should go to one of those battleships like in New York and set up battleship.

Oh, dude, I go to a park and I reach underneath the park bench and it just says E6 and I'm like, damn. But you're doing it for money. Yeah, exactly. It's real battleships. Battleship. It's really just a game of knowing shapes and guessing letters and numbers together, right?

There's like some real basic reasoning where you're like, okay, did you ever have a friend who spelled something out in their guesses? Where it'd be like, F you. No, I never did. I definitely had people who were fucking moving ships. That shit, you can tell too. You're just like, I see you. I know what people who were fucking moving ships. That shit. Oh, yeah. You can tell, too.

You're just like, I see you. I know what you're doing. I see you are moving. Or people that would just lie. Yeah, Norman. Sometimes it would happen and you'd flip it over. You're like, I fucking just called that letter. And they're like, you can't look at my shit.

No, what happened? When you grabbed my screen, what happened was one of the pecs came loose and it swung perpendicular. Yeah. Some real Shane moves, if you will. Did you ever see people that tried to get them like diagonal and you're like, you can't there's no real way to do that. We got any Omer's glue over there. Good. Shut up.

They bring their own pecs. Yep. Yeah, battleships are danky for sure. Also, the was there the I remember the commercials being pretty great. Yeah. It felt like there was going to be visuals.

The commercials made it look better than it actually was. Oh, I can watch an ICBM from this? No. Just like two bloodthirsty eight-year-olds fucking kill your whole family. I think it was like with grown sailors in the commercial. Grown sailors.

They had Purple Heart people on there like, yes, I have served. A couple Mr. Pickles playing Battleship. David, time for your fourth pick. My fourth pick, this game was controlled chaos, man. It was football. It was beautiful. It was hard. It was heavy. It was fast. It was scary.

Hungry, hungry hippos. Oh, yeah. The whole game just... Going nuts. Hungry Hungry Hippo The whole game just going nuts Then you'd always have that kid like don't move the board and you're like shut the fuck up I'm only over here because you have this and your mom makes good Kool-Aid

It's not my fault your dad named you Megan Just play fucking Hungry Hungry Hippo Make me another sandwich with that whole grain bread you guys have. Yeah. I want you to go ahead and tell your mom to cut off the crust. She knows how I like it. Yeah, man. Hungry Hungry Hippo.

Ask her. Ask her about me. There's not much to say about it. It was awesome. The hippos are hungry. I'll say this. It was a game that was honest about hippos. They're scary. Yeah. They tried to tell us and we did not listen. No game that was honest about hippos. They're scary. That's how they are, dude. Hippos are bugs.

We were all like, hippos, what do they do? Wear tutus and dance around gracefully even though they're big? That's what we all thought. Nah, this is what hippos are really like. Are they named Fiona and Stephanie? Cincinnati Zoo, right? Sean, time for your final picks. Fourth and fifth, as it is, a serpentine drag. Yeah, I go to zoos.

Alright, I'm going to pick... This one is another one that people just won't play, but it's one of my favorites. It's Risk. Fuck! I love playing Risk. I should have taken that last. I forgot. I don't play it, but I know how popular it was. I thought that was going to go in the first round. I will. I haven't played it.

I know you will. I will fuck you up at Risk. I know you will. You don't want to get into the ring with me. If you would play, if we could find like four people that would play a full game of risk, I'd play a full game of risk. I got a lot of time. Unfortunately, you're flying back and forth.

You're flying back to Portland on Sunday night. Otherwise, let's play Skype risk. Shane and I are going to play right. We'll play Skype risk. Yeah. I just come back and the whole floor is like a risk board. You're like,

yeah, I don't know. We just played it with real people. Use the back door. Use the back door. Use the back door use the back door use the back door yeah man risk i me and my mom and i think smith used to play and cj used to play sometimes and we would be screaming it was one of the only times i can remember screaming at my mom and it was kind of okay because it was just about this game yeah but we'd like fucking fight what were we saying? On the set, that ain't Riskers.

No, I wasn't a crip yet. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't. It wasn't about that. You weren't fighting over that kind of territory. No, we weren't fighting over whiskey flats or dog patch or anything. Risky flats. The All Saints neighborhood.

Risky flats, yeah. I like the whiskey rounds. You know what I'm talking about? I do. I know exactly what you're talking about. I like them too. Yeah, Risk is a very fun game. It's just

Monopoly-esque, but less complicated. A little more strategic. Less complicated. I think so. You're watching campaigns. Yeah, but there's not as many moving parts and money and properties. You're fighting wars on several fronts. You can make fucking side deals, which you can do in Monopoly too,

but in Risk, it's part of the deal. You can do that. You can make fucking side deals, which you can do a monopoly to, but in risk, it's like part of the deal. You can do that. Like you can just team up like, Hey, me and you go against them, like right in front of their face. And they're like,

shit, stop it. And you're like, bye, fuck you. I can. And I will. Some fucking,

would you and your mom team up on smear? I mean, maybe just sound it. You get where my mind was going. It sounded dirty to me. You would double team. You ever just get beat back to like New Guinea and Australia and then like valiantly fight all the way back.

I'm dying out here. Would you guys? If it was me and my mom, we double team Smith for sure. No, you wouldn't. And I'll tell you, they start calling the game reward. Oh, Zach. Oh, Zach. That's Zach for you.

Oh, Mr. Pickle. What's your fix on? I did flip a risk board over once. Of course you did. Were you playing Risk while you were driving somewhere? That would be a fucking game show. Ian drives and plays Risk. Plays a patient game.

Ian Bonser on Glendale playing Risk. Ian has a half hour to get to work playing Risk. The game is I try to not say anything that would definitely get me fired for my job at CBS. That's the real game. What's your final pick? Chutes and Ladders.

Oh, yeah. I like a Chutes and Ladders. It's real fun. Climb the ladder, fall down the chute. Chutes and Ladders and Candyland. Ah, an intellectual.

Some simple... Oh. No, there's not a lot of words in this book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the wrong episode for you to make your plea to not have people... I like to analyze... I analyze the pictures in this book. It's a long episode for you to make your plea to not have people come.

I like to analyze the pictures in the book. It doesn't even have numbers. I could have just picked shoots, okay? It's a smart game. Shoots and ladders. Oh, yeah. I remember playing that. I loved it. C-H-U-T-E-S. L-A-D-D-E-R-S.

No big deal. Might as well be reading a book right now. I mean, Juggalo, you got it. You got the book. Whoop whoop family. That was so rad. Yeah, shoot some ladders. Shoot some ladders, man.

Is it? Dave, time for your final pick. Yeah, Dave. Come on, Dave. That a Dave? I guess I'm going to go with the whole theory. As a child, I was very stressed, so I think I liked

games that were like mad stressful. Perfection. What is perfection? Put the pieces into the slot. Make the right selection. Once the time runs down the clock, pop goes perfection. Oh, yeah.

You would turn the thing, and you they would put all the pieces up and if you didn't get it in by the time it was done it would loud time every was one of those games the loud timer yeah yeah every gear clicking was like it's actually gasoline powered you're at your fucking it was stressful as a chain like towards the end'd just be like, it was just so stressful. Mom, get out of here! No, I just played alone.

Just testing yourself. Every time you won, you were like, shit. I was alone a lot. Perfection, man. And I loved the commercial. The commercial was really, wow! wow goes perfection

perfection by parker brothers david you won't be alone when you play this game but then you you are yeah this will turn your apartment to a house real quick it won't it won't you lie yeah man i fucking love that game and i just like games with timers i think you know what i mean yeah whatever increases the tension yeah yeah let's just fucking do it yeah dude zach time for your final pick final pick i'm gonna go real this is a this is one that my older sister had i never played it right dude it was crazy it was like i remember being very scary who knows if it really is it was called nightmare did you remember this no so you play as like a made-up game where they make you kiss the older girls i wish uh yeah that would have been sick that would have been called dream um no nightmare

it came with a vhs that would play the whole time during the game. Oh, that seems scary already. And then it was like a Crypt Keeper dude who would just randomly be like, player two! Whoa! Lose two spaces or whatever, and you were like, player two! Player two, get me a chocolate milk! That was amazing.

Yeah, wow. I wasn't ready for that. I know this house had an attic. Yeah. Man, Crypt Keeper, huh? Yeah an attic. Yeah. Man. Crypt keeper, huh? Yeah, yeah. Tales from the crypt. Yeah, dude.

Nightmares. I wrote a book in sixth grade. You know what it was called? Sex grade? Yeah. Did you say sex grade? Tales from the crypt, dude. Did you say sex grade?

No. No, I didn't. Sex grade? I didn't say that. Great question. Any other questions? I didn't say that. Mom question. I didn't say that. Mom, I'm ready for my first day of sex grace.

I got the Carl Canais. Tell me you packed three lunches because I'm going to need them. Mom, drip God's going to school with these Carl Canais. Yeah, mom, go ahead. Just give me sliced pineapples for my sixth grade. You heard? No, I'm talking about.

No, I'm back. No, I'm back. Seventh grade. Time bat, nom bat. Sext grade. Time for my final pick. This will push the boundaries of whether or not this is a board game. Because it's kind of a do-it-yourself board game. You don't need to go buy anything to play it.

Uh-oh. It's called smooching. Oh, maxi bingo. I'd like to smooch all of you right now. It's celebrity. I don't know how to do itch all of you right now. No. What about, it's the game, it's celebrity. I don't know what that is. I don't know how to do it. It's that song by Twisted.

No. It's. Twister. I'll make you a celebrity overnight. If the five of us are in this room, each of us would like grab five pieces of paper. Sure. Or maybe ten. And we would write the name of the celebrity down.

We'd fold them all up, put them in a bowl. Okay. And then we'd take turns. So like the first round you go up and you can describe the celebrity. You just can't say their name. Right. Robert De Niro. Oh, wait, I said it, didn't I?

I said his name. Yeah, you're disqualified immediately. I just wanted you to do the RV. I wanted you to do the RVs thing. Wait, what's the RVs thing? I don't know where you do it. Last night it was Robert De Niro, but he was dancing good. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he was disgusted with how but he was dancing good. Oh yeah. He was disgusted with how well he was dancing. Oh yeah. I wish they can't even see it. That's the bummer is that they don't know. It's really funny. Second round, you can say one word or maybe the second round is no words.

So first round you can say anything but the celebrity's name. Second round or third round, I forget what the order is. You can either do charades. You can't say anything. And then the other round is you can say one word. So if it was Robert De Niro, I could be like dancing. Robert De Niro. It's another big.

So is that a board game? Do we think we count that? I don't think so. No? Because it's like there's, it's just, that's like a parlor game. It's like charades. It's like a parlor game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's some, there's a couple of That's just me. Alright, that's alright. You didn't pick the

topic. I'm prepared to take another pick. I didn't pick it. Did you not pick the topic? No. It was me. It was me. It was big carbs. Well, damn. Yeah, so I say it's okay. You go for it. And I say it's okay. Alright, then fine. David picked a ball pit. We were drafting food one time, say it's okay David picked a ball pit we were drafting food one time so no I picked a ball pit when we were drafting fast food places

fast food items menu items I believe it sure was fast food menu items I'm pretty sure it was fast food items I will change my pick Ben but I do love playing celebrity with my family especially we can play a game called wise or otherwise which is a very simple game Fast food items. I will change my pick then, but I do love playing Celebrity with my family especially.

We can play that today. We can play a game called Wise or Otherwise, which is a very simple game. It gives you the prompts. Take a drink of the shit, pass the shit. Pass the shit. You drink the shit, and then you pass the shit. It's right there in the name. Wise or Otherwise is a game

that's full of a bunch of prompts for old proverbs. You know, like one in the hand is worth two in a bush, right? But it would only give you like, it wouldn't be like a common one, but it would be like, it'd be like one in the hand. So I would get a card that says one in the hand and I'm like, okay, no, I have to think of what a convincing finish for this proverb would be. So I'd be like one in the hand, two in the, two in the fridge. That's not a good example.

Like, one in the hand, forever on the lips, or whatever. And like... Do people call bullshit? Yeah, and people either have to, like, guess if it's real or not, and like, you get points if you fool people, and if they guess that

it's fake, they get points, or something like that. I'm not remembering the rules exactly right. Don't fry bacon unless you have enough for everybody. Right. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've seen a bigger hammer knock down a smaller wall. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. And every round the reader picks a card and reads the beginning

of a proverb aloud. The other players write down the beginning along with convincing ending to the proverb. And then the reader copies the actual ending and collects the made up. Anyway, it it's really fun i guess there are a lot of proverbs yeah i'm having trouble thinking of them right now it'd be funny if there was a guy playing and

how he'd be like one in the hand is i'm so sorry about what i did to the bathroom just play the game kevin a moment on the lips forever in these nips yeah that's right you see me carol i just remember all i remember is one of the prompts was uh it is better to ride and then you would have to finish it and then i remember my my older brother just didn't finish it he just left it it is better to ride. It was funny. That is funny. That is very funny. Then what? Nothing. That's the whole problem.

Yeah, what if that's just it? Anyway, that's the final pick. To recap, Sean, you went first. You took Scrabble, Candyland, Sorry, Risk, and Chutes and Ladders. David, you went second. You took Monopoly, Operation, Mousetrap, Hungry Hungry Hippos, and Perfection. Zach, you went third. You took Clue, Twister, Tab Hungry Hippos, and Perfection. Zach, you went third. You took Clue, Twister, Taboo, Battleship, and Nightmares.

I went last and I took Trivial Pursuit, Chess, Cranium, Life, and Wise or Otherwise. We lost some stuff on the board. Backgammon. Connect Four. Connect Four. Checkers. Don't Wake Daddy. Chinese Checkers.

Guess whom. Chinese Don't Wake Daddy. Yep.. Don't Wake Daddy. Chinese Checkers. Guess whom? Chinese Don't Wake Daddy. Yep. Jewish Don't Wake Daddy. Chinese Don't Wake Daddy. Trouble was the game with the popper that you were talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boggle.

Boggle. Is Yahtzee one? Apples to Apples, Yahtzee? Jenga. Yeah, Jenga Unchained, dude. The movie tie-in game. I want to hear Peoples, though. Yeah, me too. Oh, yeah, we forgot

Settlers of Catan. Yeah, we did. We did. Oh, no. Yeah, we did. Bummer. Yeah, we did. Bummer, dude. I'll play Settlers. I'll also not play it. You know what I mean? Right it I'll also happily not play it Shane do you have any picks?

Anything we forgot? Did somebody say Mousetrap? David took it I always wanted that and we never had it The one time I saw it in a friend's house It was just beat to shit Pieces were missing Yeah I think that's

We weren't very communal family In that regard Pieces were missing. Yeah, I think that's what we were. We weren't very communal family in that regard. Did you ever play Don't Break the Ice? Yeah. I did play that. I did play Barrel of Monkeys. Oh, yeah. We got to try to pull them off.

No. Probably the best commercial. Amazing commercial. Also, we're going to a little bit higher. Go get caught up in the... Probably the best commercial. Amazing commercial. Also, we're going to be talking about board game commercials. I missed a bucket. Balls pop out of my mouth. I missed a bucket. Put balls right in my mouth. This isn't a board game, but I feel like it's neighboring.

The cars that you hold the trigger down. Oh, RC cars? Oh, I read the trigger down. Oh, RC cars. Yeah. Like, oh, I read a track. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Sure. It's a lot of cars, dude. It's a lot of cars. Yeah. There's always a weird like copper wiring under. Yeah. Yeah.

They would always fly off if you went too fast. One of those games that start on fire. I get mad. Dude, if there was a turn with no little barrier. Yeah. Keeping it. They just they just shoot out of your room. No, Mr. Pickle.

Now my dad's going to punch me in the stomach so nobody can see. Oh, no. I'm not supposed to be playing games on Saturday. Yeah. We want to hear your games. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcast at gmail.com if you want to email us. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit.

Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon, of course. Gigantic shout outs to super producer Marissa Melnick. Big shouts to Toronto's finest, the six god herself. Shout out to Cezu Carmel. Shout out to Indoor Plumbing. Shout out to fucking...

Shout out to the nice lighting in the living room right now. Great lighting. Shout out to the extreme turbulence that I had on right now. Great lighting. It's fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to the extreme turbulence that I had on the way back yesterday. Yeah, I was a big trust to that. Oh, man. That was my nickname in middle school.

Shout out to the Michigan Wolverines helmet. Extreme turbulence. Extreme turbulence. It's mostly the teachers saying that. Get me on the court, dude. It's like it's a fucking hurricane out there. Get your role plays in extreme turbulence. You didn't want to see the two of us together.

We didn't go to college, but we're from Dade County. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to the Mustard Tunnel. Is that what it was? No. Bro. Shout out to Sugar Shane Torres. Yeah. If you have some time,

if you got some fucking time, watch Shane's shit too. Stream it. Buy it. Yeah. We're going to get those hits up right now you're inside watch it get Shane's hits up shout out to Haji Beats shout out to Frankie Ocean shout out to Sid the dude shout out to

Fresh Flowers shout out to that skateboard over there shout out to Austin Powers shout out to Austin Flowers shout out to Lost in Translation more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode

of All Fantasy Everything. Mustard Tunnel. that was a hate gun podcast