All Fantasy Everything - Canadians (w/ Guy Branum, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: August 9, 2018

Oh, Canada. All, Fantasy. It's the perfect combination. Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Guy Branum, Sean Jordan and David Gborie to draft our favorite Canucks - living or dead. Be sure to buy Guy Branum's book My Life as a Goddess, wherever books are sold.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that did a little bit different intro this time. Last week it was real different. This one came in a little less hot. We're ramping up. By the end of August I'll be shouting at you again. Believe that.

Saving the voice. Believe that. The podcast that mike malloy brought duncan donuts coffee and donuts to just rolling clutch like a middle like a middle inning reliever coming in getting us the win when it looked like all hope was lost it did friend of the podcast mike malloy i took a love it was an uphill climb friend of the podcast i mean still bring enemy of the podcast uh signs to the live shows but you know friend of the podcast just so mean, still bring enemy of the podcast signs to the live shows, but, you know, friend of the podcast. Just so he can rip them in half. We might fuck around and not go to the roost.

We might, after this donuts coffee thing? Sure. This might be the easing of what feels like a decades old tension. Cold war. I doubt it. I'm still going to the roost. Yeah, we're still going to the roost. Mike Beloy hates the roost.

We might go somewhere else. He hates it with a passion. We might go somewhere else because we drink too much. Yeah. Which one is the roost. We might go somewhere else. He hates it with a passion. We might go somewhere else because we drink too much. Yeah. Which one is the roost? That's the one in Atwater Village. Up the street from Bigfoot. Up the big...

Yeah. Smells like chicken, cash only, super dope. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody can hear you without a mic, playboy. Mike said it's a fucking hellhole. It's the one... It smells like chicken.

There's a good jukebox. It's run by like... I think... It's not even a good jukebox. It's run by like, I think. It's not even a good jukebox. Since you're in the room and talking, we're going to have to refer to you as Off Mike Molloy the whole time. Off Mike Molloy. You can't stick up for yourself. Picasso doesn't have a paintbrush this time.

Can I comment on Mike's appearance? Yes. I just wanted to say Nike socks that are pulled all the way up with shorts but are also purple is such an interesting gender expression It's such a like douchebag but not narrow kind of sentiment

I think that's my explain That kind of sums us up pretty nice as a crew I'm doing basically the same thing I got shades on my neck like a dickhead. Open-hearted bros is kind of the whole, it's kind of the movement we're all about. My shoes would be more pastel,

but I was very hungover this morning. I didn't have the heart to put them on. Couldn't find the white socks to go with it. Yeah. You can comment on anything you want, by the way. Yeah, of course. Yeah. I don't want to marginalize anyone or make them feel

objectified unless it is working towards a greater social good. Yeah, which I think we're doing. Which we all believe in 2018. Let's see what 2019 brings. Maybe it's back to fag jokes. I think it might be. I feel like nothing good is

coming. I think it might lead to at least purple socks that hit you right halfway up the calf is what I'm into. All the way up to the reflexes at some point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they're just going to be jeans. Mike Malloy looks like he's doing batting practice before one of those turn-ahead-the-clock MLB games from the 90s. Off Mike Malloy. I love this.

We should have you in here the whole time just off Mike. Well, he can be. He doesn't even need to be here for real. Pull him on a LaCroix. Sean S. Jordan in the studio. What's happening, man? At Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. True story.

Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Instagram. Still doing it. Sean Patrick Jordan in real life. I'm going to bring it up every now and again. If the fucking Sean Jordan that has that Twitter would give it, I've tried to DM him. The S stands for Sean P. Jordan was taken. Yeah, and I didn't know what else to... Someone told me if i have comedy or numbers in there that it's stupid so who told was it cookie yes brian yeah brian cook told like i last time i gave a fuck what he

said i do enjoy that your parents were like sean might not be clear enough let's put a patrick after that just so that the Ireland is like clear I don't know what we're about And they just gave me like a green Sort of Jameson looking baby bottle Just in case No it was Jameson And then a pacifier

Instead of rubber on the outside it was just like vomit Kind of leaking When he snores it sounds like the edge tuning his guitar It's perfect Yeah dude I'm always watching in the name of the father it sounds like The Edge tuning his guitar it's perfect yeah dude I'm always watching In the Name of the Father it's just always on

somewhere in whatever hotel it's so good there's a Pierce Brosnan movie on loop in our house like a rapper with Scarface sure yeah me and that

Irish MMA fighter that I can't think of but or is he Scottish Conor McGregor I bet there's a bunch dude I was thinking I bet there's a bunch

that aren't actually MMA fighters yet they're just people that live in Ireland mixed drink martial artists that's very funny I bet there's a bunch that aren't actually MMA fighters yet. They're just people that live in Ireland. Mixed drink martial artists. That's very funny. Guinness and Jameson. You don't mix them up too much, playboy. What do you got coming out?

What are we doing? We'll be at the High Plains Comedy Festival doing this. It draws ever nearer. Ticket links should be out by the time this comes up. But yeah, look for that. And we're going to be doing a live one. Yeah. With a certain guest who be doing a live one. Yeah. With a certain guest who's sometimes we talk about on the podcast.

A man for whom a ponytail bounty exists. Which should not be cashed in on. Not wrecking anything. But you may or may not have a ponytail. Shane Torres. We're putting a bounty out to our listeners. If they bring us the ponytail, it's $10,000. And I can't stress this enough.

Don't do it. But if you do it. But if you do it. Please don't do it. If you do it, $10,000. Pray to God you don't do it. Cold hard American. I can't be more clear that you don't. Don't do it.

But if you do. I can't be more vague than do what you want. This has created what we in the law, I went to law school, do not practice, call an option contract. Which, hell yeah, some real knowledge.

The moment someone presents you with that ponytail, you have both created a contract and broken the law, which has voided that contract. So you are actually fine in all of this, but also, don't do it. Don of this, but also don't do it, but don't do it. I'm not here to tell you how to feel. If you have,

if there's a fleeting thought in your, in your mind thing, maybe I should cut it off. Go buy his album instead. Do that. It's a great album. Go buy that. And then you can,

you can take some scissors and cut out the weird part of the album that has his long flowing hair on it. You can cut that out. Give that to us and that's worth a shot. Yeah. Shot of James. We'll buy you a shot. Yep.

Absolutely. Because that means you bought his album. David Boren might be one of those people buying you the shots. At the GS Island on Twitter. Hey. CoolGuyJokes37 on Instagram. Yes. Yes.

Still not going to change it. CoolGuyJokes. David, I have a question for you. Yeah. Let me just start it off with a little prologue. If you had come to me and said 15 years ago, hey, guy, you need to prep yourself for an entirely new class of last names. Nigeria would never have crossed my mind. All right.

I was not prepared for it. Now we live in a world where every day I'm encountering G's and I don't know whether I'm supposed to pronounce them. Yeah. I'm encountering G's and I don't know whether I'm supposed to pronounce them. Have you considered doing corporate trainings or that kind of thing to just sort of like take people through the complex world of like Igbo and Ewe family names? Oh, we're not Nigerians. So I don't really care. Oh, you're not? No, no, no.

They got J's. They got a lot of J's. That's like strong J culture out there. Where's your family from? I'm sorry. We're from Sierra Leone. Oh, okay. You know, still on the horn. But yeah, there's like, we culture out there. Where's your family from? I'm sorry. We're from Sierra Leone. Oh, okay. Like, you know, still on the horn.

But yeah, there's like, we're Kono tribe. There's so far less GB, like, there's none. It's us in another affluent family. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Like, I didn't even know enough to make my stupid joke. I mean, listen, it's like you can get it. You just got to hear it a bunch of times. You do, yeah.

It's true. We got to get used to it. You just got to get used to it. I can say Demi Adjuibe. Yeah. My mom can barely say Sean Patrick. So it's like. It goes both ways.

This is a two-way street. There's this rapper we really like, Toby and Wigwe. Yeah. And yeah, it's like i it is the nigerians like i feel like when i was a kid i didn't encounter as well and now it's like there's a ton of like they've been around they've been around they were just laying in the cut yeah been building up you know what i mean and now they're like heavy in there and like like on atlanta the guy's like oh i'm not african i'm'm Nigerian. Yeah. What is – is there like – do they like – It's like a Texas, the South thing.

So they think they're kind of like separate and superior? I have a cousin who ran away to Nigeria to be in the movies. That's what you need to know about. Like all the African movies are made in Nigeria. Like it's like an other thing. It's like South Africa, Nigeria, and then Africa. And then Africa. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hell yeah. I got to look into this shit more. I want to find out more about this. Yeah. Yeah. I'm stoked. Hell yeah. I gotta look into this shit more. I wanna find out more about this. Yeah. Yeah, I'm stoked. They are rich and on their way up, and I'm excited to see what comes from it. So many doctors and lawyers.

Yes. Like, that's what they came here to do. That's fucking... Sierra Leone, though. Lotta. Couple hard-working cab drivers. Lotta people got their... I think there's like...

Lotta couple. Yeah, I think we got some dudes who work at Progressive Insurance in D.C. We got like... We're A's. Much smaller country. It's a slower burn.

You still in the shagging, moving and shagging? Yeah, yeah. We're making... Planting seeds, making moves. Yeah, not the Boreys. There's no other Boreys in America.

This fucking Borey is. This one, yeah. Hell yeah. I'm not from the rich family though. Okay. So that's... There's other Carmels but we're not related because we made our last name up. It used to be Katz, K-A-T-Z.

Whoa. And then my grandpa was just like, too Jewish, we're Carmel now. Why Carmel? I don't know. I don't know because he died when my dad was 18. So you don't know what... Nobody thought to ask. But it's such a ridiculous Jewish name.

Yeah. There are so many Jewish last names that are just that country's word for sugar. And so I assume that Carmel made some sort of sense. It must have. Like, they were Carmel middlemen. They didn't make the caramel. They didn't sell it to people. They just transported it and ripped it up.

That's what it means to me from here on out. We invented a new profession. There it is. Because we were kept out of the other two. Yep. You won't let us in the guild?

Fine. We're going to operate the margins. Fine, I'll tell you. And then the margin will become the whole business, buddy. The margin will become

the whole business. And that's why we're on this couch and you guys are over there. Yeah, Jordan means nothing. I don't know where that's from.

No. Ireland's somewhere deep in the depths. He's past the shit in Irish. Dave, what do you got coming up August 9th August 9th come see me at the

Velveeta room next weekend August 17th and 18th I think something like that the Velve dude the place it's gonna be fun the facelift on that

fucking place I don't know if you ever went there years ago but it used to be like I went there with you three months ago I'm talking like when it was like throw bottles at the stage type shit.

Oh, yeah. It used to be so buck in there. And then Mario DiGiorgio took over, flipped the whole motherfucker on its ear, and now it's like a dope venue on 6th Street. Yeah, it's beautiful. I'm going to be there with Aaron Brooks. Oh, nice. Yeah, I love Brooks.

That's going to be two things. Really fun. So hot. I'm already in it, man. That's towel. That's a towel. I'm already. You may remember on our way in when I threw red wine up all over the street

didn't break stride we did live show it south by southwest and on our way to do stand up just fresh off the plane right out of the cab just walking didn't even think I was gonna throw up and then I was like oh shit and David was like 20 feet behind me he's like yo

it hit my leg yeah I wasn't ready for that no I wasn't ready for it I like but that's the best thing about Austin

it's a hack thing to say but those cities that are like in their messiness the way that like there are New Orleans like A both cities that have

their gay bars and straight bars in the same place sure and also their downtown and their bars in the same place

yeah that's such a good point the downtown and the bars in the same place. Sure. And also, they're downtown and they're bars in the same place. God, that's such a good point. The downtown and the bars in the same fucking place. Yeah, Portland's not too good at that. No, man.

No, Portland's not great bars, but like downtown, there's like Kelly's, there's maybe some in the Pearl. It's like a different vibe. Yeah. Have I ever told you

my great transformation on opinion on Portland? No, I would love to hear it. Okay, so I went there and I was like, where's the gay neighborhood? And they're like, we don't really have one. No, I would love to hear it. Okay. So I went there and I was like, where's the gay neighborhood?

And they're like, we don't really have one. Like, we're so aware that everyone feels comfortable everywhere. So there isn't. And I was like, no, I need to know where to have brunch where I can be making eyes at people

and like assume that 70% of what is in my gaze is up for grabs. That's good numbers. They were like, no. And then I thought that that was sad and stupid, and then I went to a Starbucks on Pioneer Square that was run entirely by Dirty Twinks, and I was like, okay.

Like a Dirty Twink gang? It's just sort of like, it was just like three separate and distinct kinds of Dirty Twink who were all running this Starbucks, and I was like, maybe this is okay. Maybe this is another way of life where you can just have this level of expression. It's a small area that is explicitly gay,

but it is downtown. It's that area by the Ace Hotel. Boxes used to be, like that whole area. But it's gotten, a lot of it's gotten driven. There was like a bathhouse that was there for a long time, but it's all gotten shut down and straight washed or whatever. But those strip clubs. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. A lot of strip clubs. Well, gay strip clubs. Oh, gay strip clubs, too. Silverados, right? Yeah, Montreal and Portland are the only places I know that have strip clubs for gay guys. Sure. Really?

You think Tampa would get in on this? They're doing so much of it. You think they specialize? Minneapolis has a couple, don't they? Am I crazy? Look, I haven't been to Minneapolis in 20 years. I love Minneapolis. But also, I lived in Minneapolis for three years.

I would love to see what a gay strip club in Minneapolis was like to the wholesomest of whores. You know? Just like little boys who just want to tell you about the theater that they did in like Eastern North Dakota. I was up in Moorhead over there. Red Shukes. I was the lead in King and I over there in Moorhead, you know.

Moorhead State. I was a theater major. You can touch. Yeah. Yeah. Touch away. It's all free. It's all free. It's all free.

There's some goulash in the back for the buffet. Yeah. We did the seagull up there. The seagull up there. It was pretty fun. I can't do a Minnesota accent at all. I can. Yuck.

Yuck. Fuck. What the fuck are we talking about? Oh, Portland. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So there is. Yeah. But there, I mean, that whole city is like, I, it's hard for me to say anything bad about it, but it is very up its own ass as far as, like, how inclusive they think they are. Sure. Yeah.

That'll happen. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. So come see you at the Valve. Oh, yeah, come see me at the Valve. Yeah. And then next week at High Plain.

I got some, yeah, the Velveeta is when this comes out. That's what I want you to call it. And then we're going to Portland the week after that. And we're going to Portland. And we're going to have a fucking party. I got some. Yeah. The Velveeta is when this comes out. That's what I want you to call it. And then we're going to Portland the week after that. Then we're going to Portland. And we're going to have a fucking party. I got a month. I got a month coming. August is going to be hard on the body.

Easy on the eyes, but hard on the body. I don't know how easy it's going to be on the eyes. I'm looking like John Wall already. For the listeners, we're recording this a week early, so that's still a current joke. Oh, yeah. We don't know how fast the fucking internet moves. Wait, John Wall's going to be dumb. Did you see that there's this John Wall, the basketball player?

No. All these guys showed up for their- Team USA headshots for the basketball team. Like, an important headshot, you would think. And he shows up looking- He looks like he just won the bong Olympics. Oh, that's adorable. Isn't it?

He just looks so happy and stoned and just hung over. It's months until the season starts. Like you said, he's hung over but in a good mood when you wake up and you're like, still, you're drunk. But you're hung over at the same time. He postmated from bed and then he just got up and walked to the kitchen. Oh, should I take a picture?

It's like, it'll be here in 30 minutes. The man who hasn't lived in Minnesota for 20 years. Guy Branum is with us today. Hello, good to be here. Stand-up comedian, television writer, author. We're going to talk about that. Fantastic dancer. I'm going to throw that out there. Fantastic dancer. Bridgetown after parties.

I would say spiritual father of the Bridgetown after parties, which are some of the happiest moments of my life. That, that's the sweetest. Those are my memories. The first time I met you, you came out. It was when they had it in that coconut lounge or whatever. And you just came out, and I was like, that dude's fucking rad. You came so correct to me one time,

because they started letting comedians DJ. I love this story, dude. And the night before, Jonah Ray had been DJing. And Jonah Ray was up there doing look how cool I am moves bless his heart he is cool he has cool music taste he knows a shit load about music

do I want a mixtape from him? do I want him to send me a playlist on Spotify? absolutely do I want him DJing my party? don't want him DJing my party so I was up there the next night trying to do cool Jonah Ray dance like check out this backpack rap group from Vancouver from the mid-90s. And you came dancing up.

You were like, you have to put on Dance With Somebody. Yes! Right now. And you have to play music like that for the rest of the night. And I did. And the party, which had been just people on both walls, it was that when it was like outdoors in that big area, the dance floor flooded. People like sprinted in. It was like a Black Friday Best Buy door deal type run to the dance floor.

I mean, I take a dance floor very, very seriously. Yes, you should. As do the gentlemen here. But I feel like with a dance floor, it's kind of like when water needs that little bit of extra energy to go from solid to liquid or liquid to gas. You need that phase change energy. And Ms. Whitney Houston, if she can do anything, she can make us say this is going from a party where no one was dancing to a party where people is dancing. I'm excited just talking about it. That music gets in your blood. It just makes you move.

Because you want to dance with somebody. That's what we're fucking doing. And also after that, you can play something that is a riskier dance song. Yes. And people will be like, all right, I'm already out of here.

Yeah, I'm out here. Yeah, they got to trust you. So I got all my game from you on that. Just in that one short conversation, it all clicked. I'm like, all right, now I know how to do this. Well, the wonderful thing, that festival was so wonderful in a number of ways not that

they're high plains is super fun yeah but i feel like the way that bridgetown also created a situation not where just like the audiences were making you have a good time and the people were producing it but like all of us felt an obligation not an obligation an opportunity to make good times with each other and And it was wonderful. It was so good. I mean, allegedly it's only on hiatus. So hopefully, hopefully it comes back. I would love that.

We'll always have the Bossa Nova ballroom. Absolutely love it. Naked, sweaty Bossa Nova ballroom. I remember one year they're like, yeah, you guys can smoke cigarettes in here. And then they said that. And then like 20 minutes later they come around and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. We didn't know everybody was going to smoke. Yeah, yeah, you guys can smoke cigarettes in here. And then they said that. And then like 20 minutes later, they come around. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. We didn't know everybody was going to smoke.

Yeah, yeah. That's hilarious. And I'm like, everyone in here is going to light up a cigarette. Regardless, if you tell them they can do it, they're going to fuck it. Nobody had shirts on. It was fucking shit. Yeah. Oh, God.

I forgot about when everybody got naked. On the stage, everyone's no shirts on? You're 10. Remember that? Yeah. That Sunday night party. It was bananas, dude. Oh, boy. What a decision. And we were Yeah. That Sunday night party. It was bananas, dude. Oh, boy.

What a decision. And we were singing End of the Road by Boyz II Men, dude. And kept singing for like 15 minutes after the music was off. Titties was out of a variety of genders. Yeah. Fluids, dude. It was fucking gnarly. Digging it.

We said author, which is fair. Your book. My book, My Life as a Goddess is available wherever books are sold today. Today? Well, no. Well, no, two weeks ago. Yes, a week before, July 31st. Talk to us about this book a little bit.

It is a book. I was like, I should write a book because that's what comedians do. Yes. And then an editor who I didn't end up working with was like you should not write the book that every comedian writes you kind of need to be talking about pop culture as well she listens to my podcast pop rocket where we kind of talk about pop culture yeah and so it ended up being a series of essays that are all like biographical but are also using sort of pieces of culture to like talk about what's what i'm trying to talk about in my life so like i talk

about my relationship to my dad through his favorite movie, which was a Western called The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. I talk about moving to LA through the lens of Entourage and The Comeback. Oh, right up our alley. Big fans of Entourage in this room.

Really? Oh, I couldn't be more serious. I could not be more serious. I once lived with these two guys who would watch Entourage over and over and over again and laughed at it like it was funny. Do you live with it?

We don't laugh like it's funny. I think you laugh at it like you think it's funny for a very different reason than them. Sean, we earnestly enjoy Entourage. Oh yeah. But in a very pulpy, the way one should enjoy Entourage.

Are you Ballers watchers? Yes. Oh, yeah. That's why I like Ballers now is it's the new Entourage without the stuff that Entourage is horrible at. I've never watched it. Rice mixing. Entourage was so bad at it. They were

Ballers really gets it done The resolute insistence Of Entourage not to give Women's characters names One of the most impressive things But Ballers I can't tell if I would like it Because I generally love anything Dwayne The Rock Johnson does

But I feel like it's not for me It's The Rocked Out though It's very The Rocked does, but I feel like it's not for me. It's The Rocked Out, though. It's very The Rocked Out. Just his clothing is on point. Go on a little tour. A lot of huge plaid three-piece suits. It's crazy. That dude can fill out a vest.

I am a huge fan. There's like three Aladdins in there. He eats three pounds of cod every day. It is. Are you serious? That's what he eats? Yes, there was an article that he did where he's like, here's what I eat in a day. That's what he eats.

Yes, there was like an article that he did where he's like, here's what I eat in a day. And essentially every hour and 45 minutes, he's pulling out a Tupperware with like 12 ounces of cod in it. Steamed cod. Yeah. Now, if I had to sell you on Ballers in one sentence, I would say this. There's an episode where for no reason at all, he drives a monster truck to win over the citizens of Las Vegas. And also, he's really good at it and knows how to drive a monster truck. What happens to that monster truck when he's driving it? He flips it.

Does he get hurt at all? Absolutely not. All right. That's wonderful. Does he come out to a standing ovation from the people of Las Vegas? Yeah. Yes, he does. The only thing I understand about Ballers is that he's a former athlete who is racked with pain from his former athletic performance.

But that never shows up in any way on the show. Yeah, it does. It does? He goes and gets pills a lot. Well, I mean, he's getting the fucking. I don't want to reckon with him. It's showing up pretty heavy this last season. All right.

There's a pill storyline. Yeah. Right? He's getting a brain scan and shit. Oh, yeah. pills there's a pill storyline yeah right it seems like a brain scan and shit oh yeah it seems like if you flipped a monster truck and you had like a lot of arthritis problems you might be ouch well not not if you're uh spencer he just hops out with a big old thumbs up yeah nice to every fan in las vegas i'm fine let's bring a football team we thought about kicking around a ballers

podcast yeah just a short recap just a weekly, what do the suits look like? What clubs did they go to? What's Denzel's kid doing? I so frequently, I have a lot of things going on in my life, but I'm always just like, guy, nobody's got a The Crown podcast. You could just own a The Crown podcast. You should. I just started watching it. It's so good.

It's so good. It's so good. And it would be, it'd be so fun to do a podcast just for you like just for exactly what you want to do well that's what we're doing i know i know i guess that's what i'm saying i'm like only three episodes in but the guy who plays prince philip is so perfectly kind of like aloof and like loving and supportive but also kind of like douchey rich kid absolutely it's like it's such a good performance i think the second the second to last episode of the second season you see prince philip as a child um and it's so not like it's so full of

nazis yeah and like jews and like repressive british schools it's i can't wait i'm so excited when he's when they're like meeting with in when they're in uh nairobi and he's like they're meeting with and he he's just walking down the line and just being such a prick. You have to watch it. It's really interesting. It's a really good show. So you're saying I should stop watching Succession?

No. Start watching. So it's that kind of book. Yes, essentially. Kind of, right? It really is. really is um yeah because i mean that like sort of the underlying idea of the book is that i didn't really grow up in a world that had space for people like me and so there weren't really stories about people like me and it was

about taking these other stories about other things and using them to sort of like understand myself and the world however i finished I finished it very, very late. So I don't know if that comes across clearly. But let's talk about Succession. Yes. Very briefly. Oh, yes. I started watching it just because like I am the gay guy on whom Sharp Objects has not taken.

I haven't started Sharp Objects yet. I need to properly give it time. But I started watching Succession and it just went down smooth. Yeah, it's so smooth. It was that situation of like, okay, I'm obsessed with a category of television we now have embodied by American gods that is foetish television. Television that is telling you that it is prestige, but it is not. And I feel like Succession is exactly the opposite. It is something that is so beautifully made and we don't need.

Oh, another story about how rich men are fighting for power. Every time I see an episode, I'm like, take your 500 million fucking dollars and chill. That's not what they're trying to do. And I do love that Adam McKay, it's Adam McKay, right? He's producing, yeah. Has developed this obsession with American capitalism that I think is interesting. It just feels a little bit like, well, we've seen this one before, you know, King Lear

again. Yeah, yeah. I didn't feel any kind of way. I watched the first episode and I was like, this is cool. I just didn't feel, like, strongly. By the fifth, I didn't either. I watched the first one and I was like, okay, I have seen an episode of television. I'm right there with you. And then I watched the second one and I was like, alright, I don't really episode of television. I'm right there with you. And I watched the second one and I was like,

all right, I don't really feel an attachment to any of these characters. Which Culkin is it? Rory. Rory Culkin? He's like wiling out in this crazy character. I'm in love with it now. By the fifth and sixth episodes, you're hooked.

You're hard hooked. That's the only reason I got back in. It's because you put that one up on. We were just chilling. And Ian's like, let's watch this. We watched it. And it was just like that. And then you told me that you were caught up.

I'm like, well, I can't fucking be sleeping. So I got caught up in two nights. I was. Yeah. Friend of the podcast, Alison Herman, writer at The Ringer, has been on a couple. We were like DMing about it. Because all these people at The Ringer were like, it's so fucking good. It's such a good show.

We were like, I don't really get it. I'm not sure if I like it. It just is, but then it gets you. I haven't talked to Allison about it since I've seen the fifth episode. If for nothing else, I needed something else to type in all caps on Twitter. Now the billions is on a break.

Billions, dude. Now it's just succession. Succession. In all caps, dude. Billions. For no fucking reason. Succession. Ballers, dude.

We got the whole year. We got almost every season covered. Sharp objects? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We'll see. It's not one word, but maybe it'll work its way into the rotation. Oh, my God.

Do you watch Billions? I do not. Which one is that? That's Paul Giamatti and Damian Lewis. He's like a hedge fund manager, Damian Lewis. And Paul Giamatti is like the district attorney. DA of New York. Yeah.

Which district? Southern district? Southern district. DA of New York. Yeah. Which district? Southern district? Southern district. They say it a million times. Money crimes. The thing about it is, is I feel like we're never actually criticizing these things. We're always kind of romanticizing them. Yeah.

Billions is just flat out romanticizing it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sorry to interrupt you. What was your, yeah. Oh, just the Sorry to interrupt you. What was your, yeah. Oh, just the, like, nothing.

I have nothing to say. It's like, it's rich people porn. They're like at these crazy restaurants. There's helicopters landing at t-ball games. Like, all that kind of shit.

Like, it's what you think it is. Ian, I was trying to keep myself from telling you about two extremely Jewish things that I need to tell you about. I'm in. But I would like to tell you

about two extremely Jewish things. I will to tell you about. But I would like to tell you about two extremely Jewish things. I will use, the segue option is us talking about money and monetary crimes. Okay, Ian. We all know about the International Jew, the Nazis' great documentary about the threat of European Jews.

What we don't talk about is the Nazis' great narrative film about the threat of the Jews, which is currently in its entirety on YouTube. You have to watch it. What is it called? It's called Jud Sus. J-U-D space S-U-S-S. And it is all about a Jewish financier who captures the mind and heart of a poor German prince in the late 1700s.

And it is fascinating and chilling to watch because it's like, I mean, it's like splashy, high quality cinema. It's like princes and princesses and all of that. But the Mephistopheles character is just a Jewish money lender. So rather than a thin, so stand in for a Jewish character, it's actually a Jewish manlender. So rather than a thin, like, stand-in for a Jewish character,

it's actually a Jewish character. They doubled down. It is, like, it's so creepy to watch, but also so competently made. They had resources. They could make a movie. And then the other thing is, just this morning when you told me

that you were going to be slightly late and then I managed to be much later, I went to Aroma Cafe, which is a bad restaurant, and I got a Jewish food that I think you may have never had. What is it? It is called Jacques Noon. No, I haven't. Imagine croissant dough. Yes. Let's start out with croissant dough.

I'm just like, we ate it all the time growing up in South Dakota. And then place that in an oven overnight because it's the Sabbath. And instead of letting it rise, why not just let it soak in its own oil and become something caramelized and truly magnificent. They only have it on Saturday and Sunday. But I just want to say, as you explore the culinary offerings of our people, if you ever find yourself there, go in for it. Because you may be disgusted, but you may be delighted at the same time. Just you describing it, I think I'm in.

Yeah, yeah. I love a dough that is soaked and almost becomes something else. Where it's pre-moisturized for you. I just like it when stuff stews in its own juices. It really is kind of the key to good cooking. I'm saying slow and slow. Yeah. Fermentation, stewing in juices.

God, yeah. Yeah. We do good work with the other Jewish people. I'm saying. Both ways. You know what I mean? Hey, hey, hey. What are you?

What about you, Zeus? Have you ever been nominated for an Emmy is my question. Emmy nominated. Okay. Oh my God, I forgot. Congratulations. Thank you very much. It was for riding on the Tonys. A really weird Emmy nomination to get for an Emmy is my question. Emmy nominated. Okay. Oh my God, I forgot. Congratulations. Thank you very much. It was for riding on the Tonys, a really weird Emmy nomination to get for me.

That's wonderful. Those were good Tonys. They were. It was a good Tonys. It's just such a weird little Emmy nomination because you're in that category where it's like that or the J.D. Power and Associates Awards. I'm going to have you back up just for one second. No such thing as a little Emmy nomination, my friend.

Thank you very much. I love you for that. This one's a smaller one. Sure. To steal a Bill Simmons idea, if the awards were given out, size was based on importance, this is a key chain. There are little Emmys. They're just called the daytime Emmy.

Oh, yeah. Woo! Damn, dog. They also have local Emmysys which i think are literally smaller you talk about those dallas reigns his whole closet yeah yeah exactly dallas reigns i got at the emmys last year i got stabbed in the head with an emmy no very fun they're very pointy they're so pointy it caught me right here no right outside of my eye in a tuxedo i hugged the guy who won one on our show and and it wrapped around and stuck me right,

and I was like, oh, shit, and I was bleeding. I had to leave the dance floor. What happened? I had to leave the dance floor. Whitney Houston and everything. I had to get out of there. I had to walk past Anthony Bourdain, may he rest in peace, but he was there, too, just chilling.

And I was bleeding from it, and I just had to stand in a tuxedo in this bathroom with all these other people, and I'm like, I'm not here to do coke. Thank you for the offer. But losing your eye to a competitive show business award incident, I mean, that would be the best injury

a person could have. Such a good origin story, because that would be a great movie. with a fucking eye patch on. Yeah. You know how we lost that, right? And then winning an Emmy would be my great white whale. And if I did, I'd just stand up on stage

and just smash it in front of everyone. All right. We all know what an Oscar looks like. Uh-huh. And I have multiple times in my life those smooth, soft edges, shape and size. Just wondered how many men have had an Oscar inside of them. I've had a lot.

Oh, yeah, dude. That's fun. It's got to be a high number. They have a good weight to them, too. I've never seen one. How would it be, like, really gnarly? I've never seen one. I mean, this is epic.

I mean, the shoulders would be the issue in question, you know? But it's got a nice base on it. So, like, for boys, you have to have something with a base on it. Right. You're not going to lose it up there. Don't want the doc finding out. Oh, I bet you at least it's 100 plus. I held Diablo Cody's Oscar.

Yeah. Because she was made, yeah, from Chelsea Langley. To Dan, our co-worker. Yeah, our co-worker. What's her real name again? Brooke Busey. Brooke. That's right.

Brooke. Yeah. Fun people. Diablo. Gary Busey's daughter. Off mic. No, she's not Gary Busey's daughter. Off mic.

Off mic. Off mic. Forget it. Nobody can hear him, so's not Gary Busey's daughter. Off mic. Off mic. Nobody can hear him, so it's going to sound crazy when we answer the question. So just to circle back around after a long journey, I mean, we don't promote a ton of stuff on this show, just period. Guy is so funny. Knowing him and knowing you, our listeners, this is a book you will sincerely enjoy.

Thank you so much. It's very kind. Sincerely mean that our fans really love pop culture and stuff like that. You're so fucking funny. Such a great thinker. We couldn't endorse this enough. My Life as a Goddess by Guy Branum.

Seriously. And, you know, sit down and be like, when did I finish my last book? Finish this book. Go fucking buy it and finish it. Go buy a goddamn book, you heathens. Use the money you were going to spend on the Cuddy Sark for David. I finish my last book. Finish this book? Go fucking buy it and finish it. Go buy a goddamn book, you heathens. I'm saying. Use the money you were going to spend on the Cuddy Sark for David.

Please. Get online or go to a bookstore. Preferably go to a bookstore. Fly to Portland, go to Powell's. If you can't, go to a bookstore

and get My Life as a Goddess. Dude, seriously, pick it up. You buy it. If you send us a picture of you holding Guy Brown's book, big shout outs. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. If you send us a picture of you holding Guy Brayden's book. Shout outs all day. Big shout outs.

Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. On our shout outs. We'll get that mad list going. Yeah. Yep.

Copy of you with the book. Sean will come up with a nickname for you. Yeah, fuck yeah, I will. And Sean is the man who brought us nicknames such as. Oh, dude. Punk Rock Sausage Face. There it is. Chicken Salad Sandwich Face.

There's another one. Scandalous Randallus with the sock tandalous. And that's the Crandall. Dan the Man Stantan. Oh, no. Dan the Man Suzanne Saran. Dan the Man Stantan. That's what it was. You'll get one And that's the Crandula Dan the Man Stantan Oh no, Dan the Man Suzanne Saran Dan the Man Stantan That's what it was

You'll get one of those Suzanne Saran Dan the Man Stantan This dude Dan Stantan Then you gotta find out Tan from Queer Eye's last name You can make it one thing longer Punk Rock Sausage Face

Sounds like a buck one And it was nothing against the kid But it just He worked at a pizza place And he was punk rock So sausage pizza topping Called it Punk Rock Sausage Face but he worked at a pizza place, and he was punk rock. So sausage, pizza topping. Called it punk rock sausage race, but it sounds like a dig. It's not.

You've used the adjective buck twice, and I don't know what it means, but I'm excited. So buck can be good or bad. It's just like an extreme situation. So the fact that you wrote a book, to me, is fucking crazy buck. It's super buck. You didn't write a buck. You wrote a buck. Buck Wilde, then?

Yes. My grandpa's name was Buck. My grandpa's fucking name was buck oh really he got two buck and he cashed himself out oh now buck is on a headstone yeah now it says buck on a headstone he bottomed out and played himself yeah but yeah buck is just there was a girl one time who told me she got bucked off a horse and i say the word buck like an adjective yeah all the time she goes yeah i forget how we got there but she's like i got bucked off a horse and i go damn that's gnarly and my other go-to adjective is gnarly that's wonderful 36 you know dang gnarly buck playboy the big three uh yeah, it just means extreme. I'm Ian Carmel. Add Ian Carmel on all the social media things. Buy 9.2 on Pitchfork. Listen to All Fantasy Everything. Come to Good Looks the first and third Wednesdays in Los Angeles at the Upright Citizen Brigade

Theater. A great show. Every time. Nobody making any money on that. You guys have neon sign. That is electrifying. Seriously, dude. It's electrified.

Yeah, it's electrified. It's a fun little sign. It gives a good vibe. A little blue light. Uh electrified. Yeah, it's electrified. It's a fun little sign. It gives a good vibe. A little blue light. Uh-huh. I dig it. A little blue light for the people. You feel like you're doing something fucking cool when you're there.

Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden. Please do. Watch that Tom Cruise sketch. Watch the Tom Cruise sketch. Watch the Paul McCartney Carpool Karaoke. Fun little, fun television. There it is. We are gathered here today.

Ah, we are. We are gathered. We are in scenic downtown Los Angeles. Ah, let me itch this beard. Itch that beard. Sean's scratching his beard. In the well-appointed HeadGum Studios. Ah, here we are.

Basking in the eternal glory of super producer Marissa. There she is. Big shots. Native country. Native. Oh, Toronto native. Sure, Toronto native. Toronto.

Sorry, I pronounced the second T. Toronto native. The one in Toronto. And it's funny that, you know, Marissa's here. Well, it's not funny. She's here every week. But it's funny, the topic. Today, we're drafting Canadians.

Living or dead, my friends, living or dead, we're drafting Canadians. And the way we determine the order of the draft is via a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you. We go on shoot, so it's one, two, three, shoot. So here we go. David? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh! Sean George wins!

I let you boy! The winner is whoever has the one that doesn't match up. Oh, okay. Yeah, Sean. So Sean wins rock, paper, scissors, and you'll be determining the order of the draft before you do. Sure.

I want to remind you that it's a serpentine draft. It is a serpentine draft. David is blowing it. It's a bit. Oh, It is a serpentine draft. David is blowing it. It's a bit. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm really nervous about my list. We're damn near on 100 episodes. I'm really nervous about my list on this one.

Sure. Do you have any idea what a serpentine draft is? I don't. Can you tell me about it? It's an excellent question. What is that? I'll let you know. What?

I'll let you know. So let's say that you're just a seething All Fantasy Everything fan and you see Shane Torres. Okay. And you run up to him. You have a pair of scissors in one hand. Yeah. You have his ponytail in the other hand. And you're looking and you look at the scissors. Uh-huh.

You think. Then you look at the ponytail and you think. Right. Then you look back at the ponytail. Okay. You think, should I cut that off? Then you look at the scissors. You think, should I cut that off? And then you look back at the scissors and keep thinking, should I cut that off? And then look at the ponytail you think, should I cut that off? And then you look back at the scissors and keep thinking, should I cut that off? And then look at the ponytail and think, should I cut that off? Basically just going back and forth.

What it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. That makes sense. Serpentine like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's kind of what I mean with that. That makes sense. I don't know what he was talking about. By the way, do not.

Do not. Cut off Shane Torres' ponytail. Don't cut off his ponytail. Once again. We're not being cute. Guy, you're looking at me like, you're going to cut it off. But maybe I'm kind of cute. I worry that in expressing voices while criticizing voices that are saying Shane Torres' ponytail

should be cut off, you are validating the idea that Shane Torres' ponytail should be cut off, which it is a valid sentiment. I understand that. But I just wonder what that means to society. It means don't do it. Don't do it. That's what it means. Don't do it.

In the same way that don't watch Menace to Society because it's a bad influence, but it's a good movie. You know what I mean? So, you know. Not like that. Very sincerely. Let's just say I learned a lot

from watching Menace to Society. I learned 10,000 things. You know what I mean? We're not going to cut off Shane's ponytail, but we are going to cut on it too. Is the order of the draft. They're not all good. I worked maybe 70 hours this week.

Why don't you fucking pick up your shovel and get to work. Sean is going first. Ian second. Guy's third. David is fourth. Damn. I did not want to anchor baby this. David on the back end, dude. Two in a row. All right.

So with the first pick of the Canadians, living or dead. That's so tight. All fantasy, everything. What a cool idea. Sean Jordan, you have the first pick. I'm going to pick a one John Candy. Oh. Damn it.

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to get sniped from the roof on this. Normally I wouldn't have gone first, but I needed it so bad. Yeah, I'd have him in the bag. He's just, he was amazing. The Great Outdoors is one of my favorite movies of all time, always will be, holds up. He's just the best. When he told Steve Martin that he scratches his balls a lot in planes, trains, and automobiles,

that's like one of the, every time I watch that movie, like what he says, okay, you play with your balls a lot. Oh my gosh. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but Del Griffin, right? That's his character in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. That movie is so good. It's so funny, so sad. So it just gets you there. There's so many different

points. At the end, he's like, I like me. You know, it just hits you so hard, and you're like, damn. Yeah. It was so sweet. And then you feel so bad, and you're like, fuck you, Steve, you're being an asshole to this guy. Yeah, John Candy was amazing. I'm gonna go back to him. He was born in Newmarket, Ontario, Canada. Sure.

October 31st, Halloween. Which was right around the corner. 1950, John Candy, Canada. Sure. And October 31st, Halloween. This was right around the corner. Right, right. 1950, John Candy. Yeah. Man. Excellent. Came up in the Second City scene.

Yeah. Which is, I mean, did some iconic work there. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Who's, like, one of the great fat actors. Yeah. Oh, yeah. One of the great fat actors.

Oh, yeah. Do you put him on your Fat Rushmore? I think he's on Fat Rushmore. Really? He might be on fat Rushmore. Really? He might be on fat Rushmore. For actors or for period? For actors. Fat actors. Fat actors Rushmore. Like the way I would say Uncle Buck is

the greatest expression of his fat acting and sort of like the marginalization and who is this weird guy and sort of moving past it to be like, yes, he is quirky and specific, but also he loves us and will take care of us. And it was Macaulay Culkin before. And Uncle Buck is like the only role that he was really like a schlubby kind of,

where they painted him in that role. He had a dignity to him, which was really nice. Because Uncle Buck, he was still a hard ass. Definitely had a set of ethics, like a set of rules that he went by in that movie. Yeah. And he was also fucking awesome. Pancakes with a shovel, dude. The second I saw it, I'm like, I want that to happen at some point in my life. You know?

Damn. Yeah. The candy man. The candy man can. Did I see a tweet that you wrote about fat actors or something in the book? Oh, yeah, yeah. I have a chapter about fatness that was excerpted on Vulture. Yes.

And it's basically just about the fact that fat people are always, they're never protagonists. They're always barriers to somebody else. And Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is sort of an exploration of this idea of this person as barrier. And then at the end of it, sort of getting to the destination of he's a person. Right. Yeah. That is kind of the destination in the movie. Yeah.

A hundred percent. I mean, that's, that's the whole, the overt, the tone of the movie is like, I'm trying to get home, but like the actual destination of the movie is their relationship. Forever. Yeah. You're always like, I even have a joke about it, but it's like, I'm always going to be like, if I, if I'm the most successful actor, I could be like, could possibly's probably you're always like even i even have a joke about it but it's like i'm always going to be like if i if i'm the most successful actor i could be like could possibly be you're still going to be the fat best friend in the movie yeah you know yeah um seth rogan hasn't really done a lot of romantic leads right even him oh shit fuck i'm sorry i'm sorry

i'm sorry my bad my bad my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad. I don't understand. Huh? Oh. That's an option for the power draft. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fair. We just have a lot of Seth Rogen issues. There's a lot of rules. Yeah. We have an ancient Talmudic script that dictates what we can and can't say. We did freak out pretty hard.

Whoa, hey, hey, hey. Like you just took our last meatball or something over here. Whoa, hey, hey, hey. Like I just dipped into the pot looking for the meatballs and said, are there any meat? Did you just grind them up? Sean Jordan, our friend Zach Toscani makes killer meatballs. He does make killer meatballs. With killer tomatoes.

Hey. Oh. Oh. Come on. Because I needed the money. I'm trying to do a podcast. Sean dips in. He doesn't go all the way to the bottom, you know, where a meatball would fall.

He's just skimming the top. He's like, where are the meatballs? He didn't get any meatballs. He just thought they had been chopped up. I just thought they were chopped up very fine and the meatballs. Distributed into the sauce. Everybody made that same taster. That's very funny.

Nobody, you know. He's our sweet boy. I'm from the Midwest. You know what the Midwest is. Young and restless. Young and meatball-less. Yeah, young and meatless. Young and meatless.

Yeah, man. John Candy, dude. John Candy. Just for me personally, it was a big part of my childhood. young and restless young and meatball young and meatless young and meatless yeah man John Candy dude John Candy just for me personally it was a big part of my childhood just those movies like Spaceballs he was just

one of the first people that I was like man that dude that person is so funny you know like I I just I've always loved him

and yeah time for my first pick you can call me corny if you want I'll call you corny for days dude I like probably three years ago, I came up with the idea.

I wonder what guy keeps writing down. So awesome. Detail notes on you and your bullshit. And your bullshit. I think three, four years ago, I first came up with the idea for this podcast. For All Fantasy Everything, right? We tried to get it made different places.

Could never do it, right? And then finally, because I know Marty from HeadGum, I finally, like, he was like, hey, you got this podcast out there. Come do it at HeadGum. I did, you know. We started doing it. Eventually, the two of you joined in, right? And then it became all three of us, right?

And we started doing it together. Sure. And it never became, three of us, right? And we started doing it together. Sure. And it never became like a real family. It never felt like the podcast that we all do together until Marissa joined us. And it's been with us for every episode since then. I don't remember what the first one was. But I'm taking Marissa Melnick from Toronto. Yes, you are.

Ontario, Canada. Yes, you are. Because this has been. You just won I know we would all pick her if we could Except for Sean who took Sean Candy Which is also a good pick Which is also a good pick

But this podcast Doing this with the three of you Has been one of the best things Just in my entire life that I've ever done It brings me so much joy And it wouldn't be the show that it is without Marissa. So not even on some just like stunt pick. No, I feel, of course, of course not.

You're my favorite, like we love you so much and like everything you do for us, it means so much. So I take Marissa with my first pick. That's so great. Living or dead, my favorite Canadian. What I'd like you to do is put in some air horns for yourself. Yeah. Air horns.

Just for Marissa now. You get to put in air horns. Scream, scream, scream, scream. Those are all you. No, for real. I often think about where this would be if we had to do it ourselves.

Yeah. It wouldn't. It wouldn't. We show up all the time to talk about how- I don't even know how to check my email right. I do whatever the knobs she turns about I don't even know how to check my email right I do whatever the knobs she turns

I don't have a keyboard the it's amazing the amount that like your presence has felt on this podcast without ever having a microphone in front of you

is crazy sure you know and the good kind of crazy the time that David's about to break the mic every single show and then I see those

I see the levels flopping around over there we're using this to bring someone else up not put another friend down. You know what I mean? That's not what we're about here. There's no, there's like, I mean, we've like, the three of us, we've played like, you know,

you've done, I've done like when I opened for Chelsea Handler, did stand up for like 8,000 people one night, you know? Written, you know, for amazing shows. Had a lot of cool opportunities. And I'm going to be at the Velveeta room. I'm going to be at the Velveeta room you've done big shows there's not a lot of better feelings than when you say something funny on here and get a Marissa laugh

that is the jackpot I can hear it over whatever's going on I just hear that little like I hear it over there I'm like oh shit fucking W right there we'll talk about it more on the 100th episode but I just wanted to

get that out there fantastic it's yeah that's my pick Marissa should have been the first pick I don't know

I don't know what I was doing or John Candy you're in good company if you don't have a heart it was always between those two he's in

John Candy's in good company you're not in good company John Candy's in good company Sean did me a service by letting me be gushy for once. He's always gushy. I got to be gushy for once. That's why you took John Candy. I love it. All right, yeah. Also,

Marissa, probably a pretty good hockey player, right? Just based on... What are your skating skills like? You can't skate at all? She said awesome. She's actually wearing ice skates on carpet right now. She said Gordie Howe ain't got shit on me. Now we're being xenophobic about Canadians.

Guy Branum, time for your first pick. Your first pick on All Fantasy Everything, period. Now, Marissa would tell you, if she had a microphone of her own, that things have gotten a little Ontarian in here, okay? There's a lot of focus on Anglophone Canada, and who better to fight back at that than the man who passed Canada's official policy of multiculturalism, Pierre Elliott Trudeau,

former prime minister. And you're like, guy, but why not go with the sexier Trudeau option? You're Justin Trudeau, because he's also a mid-level snowboarder. He's good at snowboarding. Nice core strength. I would say that half of Justin Trudeau was in

Pierre Elliott Trudeau for much of his life. It includes that and also, one of the things you guys are probably too young to even remember Pierre Trudeau, A, was prime minister of that country for like 20 years but B.

wore shorts to a coal miners strike that's a move and like nothing shows you're in touch and out of touch at the same time like going to hang out with the miners maybe they were asbestos miners I'm sorry but showing up

with like a breezy sweater around your neck and some shorts. Yeah, he's like, I'm here. I'm here, bro. He's Quebecois? Yeah, he's Quebecois. Yeah. And he was, oh, but like one of the things is like, like their big version of diversity is if one of your parents is Francophone and one of your parents is like Irish Anglophone

and like, you know, getting the Catholics together that way. I think that was maybe true of him. Yeah, because his middle name being pronounced Elliot instead of Elio was like a thing. That was a big deal. That had to be mentioned a lot. Yeah, Elliot. Yeah, he's the man who like everyone loved him and thought he was the best thing ever. He was such a sensation that they called it Trudeau mania.

Women were fainting. And then he nationalized their oil supply. And everyone hated him because he fucked up the economy. But he was still, he was prime minister off and on between 1967 and 1984. Which is, like, longer at a job than any of us will ever last. Ever. Fuck yeah, by a long shot. Longer than I ever even thought about last night.

At a job? They wouldn't let me in the building for that long. I did your time. Four days at the car wash. Did he help quell the Quebec separatist movement? Oh, it was a thing. Yeah. Okay.

So, like, you know, they started in the late, like, Quebec had this real sort of, like, crazy transformation in the 60s. And then they started getting separatists and they kidnapped two people and he like sent in the army and was like, there's no law in Quebec except for me now. And all of the, all of the Quebecois were like so pissed off at him or a lot of the Quebecois were, but he like was the big face of Francophone Canada that said like, no, we need to stay in this country. We are part of this country. Really the dude who held the country together.

That's amazing. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Also, he had a hot kid. He did have a hot kid. Justin Trudeau is hot. He's so dreamy.

He really is. That is Buck right there. That's Buck. Those eyes, man. Yeah, that dude fills out a room. Easy. He's like that easy kind of hot, you know what I mean?

Where he walks in and if it's hot, it's a little cooler. Have you seen the photo of him planking? No. It's like him. He's holding onto a table. He's holding onto a table and supporting his entire body, just sort of planked there. Oh my god.

Yeah. That's the first time I've heard that. I've never heard that from Marissa. For those who can't hear, Marissa just goes, whoa. I don't think we've ever had a president who could do that. No. Jeez. Those goddamn abs.

Oh, my God. Look at that. That's core work. That's from carving up the pow-pow. You know what I mean? Yeah. Dude, hidden that cold smoke, bro. Got your camo-declining goggles on.

My body's never made that move. Oh, my God. Here's a picture of his dad doing it. What? Yeah! No, fuck! What? I told you! So add that. Add that shit in. Wow! Also here's a

picture of him with his shirt off in a fighter's pose. Yeah. Really? He did celebrity boxing. Like, they made a bad choice. You know what I'm saying? It was a good idea to elect him. And he bounced back. Hell yeah.

How is he doing? He's doing okay. Yeah. I mean, like, it really is. Luckily, he has lots of smart people around him who tell him what to do, and he listens to them, and that's all it really takes. Yeah. But sometimes he can be a bit of a haircut.

But what a haircut. Yeah. What a haircut. But what a haircut. Yeah. What a haircut. I saw that tattoo. Excellent pick. Pierre Trudeau. Hell yeah. Of Montreal.

David, it is time for your first and second picks. I feel like a butthole because now I'm going back to Ontario. Going back to Ontario. I feel like a butthole. But I'm picking possibly one of the greatest sportsmen of all time. I'm picking Wayne Gretzky. No one's going to argue with that. Just like for dominating a field where you still have like 40 records.

The great one. Once scored 100 goals in like 16 seasons. It's nuts. It's crazy. Like you look at his stats compared to Michael Jordan or anybody else, it's like that's about as dominant as you can get in a field. It's like if Will Chamberlain happened but in the late 80s and 90s. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? You miss 100% of the picks you don't draft. So I'm pretty stoked for you, Tucker. You're going to talk to my face like that? That's the kind of friends we are now. Dude, that's one of the best quotes there's ever fucking made. No, it is. It's incredible. Ever.

Yeah, just like as a competitive person, it's just the idea of dominating a field. You don't really get much better than that. Also, he was so Canadian about the way he dominated. There was always something a little bit retiring about him. Yeah, and he's not. Yeah, he's just like, I can't. I don't understand. If I was that good at anything, I'd have so many red cars.

So many red cars. It's just like I'd grow more chest hair somehow like I could he it's nuts you never he's not right like Mike we have Michael Jordan but he's like a monster yeah he's like a terrible guy yeah yeah he was so good he made people care about hockey in Los Angeles in a way that still reverberates i mean not as big as it was when gretzky was here but like people still care now people that's why that's why there's kings fans for sure 100 percent 100 percent and like a lot of in america too he was so good people like well i gotta check with this guy yeah i gotta yeah because i'm going down to the hockey rink in la after after playing in edmonton yeah for the edmonton oilers who are you

telling you think i didn't know that talking to you right now you think my shirt's off you can after playing in Edmonton yeah for the Edmonton Oilers who are you telling you think I didn't know that I'm talking to you right now you think my shirt's off you can read all my tattoos Edmonton Oilers Edmonton Oilers tattoo

on his shirt his wife was messy too right Janet oh yeah yeah Janet Gretzky did she get in trouble because she like

for like tampering with players or something like that this sounds fine I don't know anything about this because she co-owned the Phoenix Coyotes, which I don't think are even a hockey team anymore. No.

Anyway. That sounds like a T-ball team. There might be some Phoenix Coyotes. That's my second pick. The Phoenix Coyotes? No, dude. The great one, man. Yeah, Wayne Gretzky.

Also probably responsible for Wayne being a name we think is very Canadian. Or are there a bunch of Canadian Waynes? How many Waynes do you have in your life? Zero Waynes, other than Gretzky on her radar. The only other Wayne I think of is Wayne Campbell. When I think of Wayne.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's, I can say. You're buzzing the tower. You're buzzing the tower. I just spilled coffee all, I got the aviators. I just spilled coffee all over myself. No, I feel you. Wayne, he looks like a Wayne-ass Gretzky motherfucker, too. Wayne-ass Gretzky.

Wag, bro. Sean looked a little bit like Tom Cruise, right? A little bit? Hold on. Put the glasses on. The listeners is really going to resonate. Hold on. We were inverted.

I feel like he was sitting back when he said it, too, just like a dick. We were inverted. I feel like he was sitting back when he said it too, just like a dick. We were inverted. Wayne Gretzky, the great one. Yeah. Absolutely. That's a solid first pick. He really did, just to put a point on it, the level at which he dominated hockey, and his records will stand forever.

In the NBA, like Will Chamberlain, but he played in the 60s and 70s when everybody else looked like me. Yeah, before. In the NBA. If you played before the merger, it's hard to be like, yeah. Yeah, it's a little weird. But Wayne Gretzky did it in the fucking modern era. It's amazing. Yeah.

Wayne Gretzky, first pick. Your second pick? Second pick, this guy went off the rails towards the end. I understand. All right? Went off the rails towards the end i understand all right went off the rails towards the end in the beginning a guy that i was like really like just his sense of humor like i just there was something about this guy from the when i was a kid watching trading places it's just akroyd yeah oh dan

akroyd that is a beautiful choice yes was on my list beautiful thank you beautiful selection it's just man he like i think i feel like and then reading like the 40 year SNL book and stuff and just like. What happened? When I was young, like when I first read that book, just being like, this guy is like, his humor, I just identify with. He was a wild boy. Yeah, he was.

Like, I just like. I love that. He's so funny to me. He's so funny to me. I like it when a wild motherfucker makes it because I'm like, okay. Yeah. I don't have to be at home reading the Bible every night. You hear those stories about him and just like, he's so funny. I like it when a wild motherfucker makes it because I'm like, okay. Yeah. I don't have to be at home reading the Bible every night. You hear those stories about him.

And just like, he's so cool. Like when you hear about how he wasn't even sure he wanted to do SNL because he was like, I got like a cool gig going on up here. I'm like the man. Like he just, I really liked Dan Aykroyd. Yeah. I don't care about aliens. What happened towards the end that you're saying he like fell off the rails or whatever?

He's like a kind of aliens guy he's really into aliens he's just being a weird old dude so much stuff he's done is just so even like like stuff that stuff that I didn't even identify with at the time but like big American like all that stuff is

like so funny to me gross point blank forget about it one of the best fucking movies so funny blues brother dude. Blue's brother, dude. He can look cool next to Belushi. You know what I mean? Back in those days, that was a hard thing to do, man. Belushi was cool. Yeah, Dan Aykroyd, man.

As far as like, I love Canadian humor a lot in general, but he's at the top of that. Dude, you get him in Tommy Boy? You got one over on me, kid. Oh, yeah. You pulled one over on the, kid. Oh, yeah. Yes. You pulled one over on the big guy, kid. Save the flavor. Yeah.

Save the flavor. I don't know how it's regarded now, but I really like Spies Like Us, too. Oh, Spies Like Us is so good. I love Spies Like Us. I think it's still hilarious. Yeah, I think so, right? Yeah, I never know what the fucking like...

You know why movies like that hold up? It's because of the people that are in them, Dan Aykroyd being one. Dan Aykroyd, yeah. Great Outdoors as well. Yeah. You think that wasn't my plan why the only reason i wanted to bookend it would have been to pick those two for the great outdoors

he is so good and you know what you know what's in hot dogs lips and assholes he's the best when he's my mom kelly jordan loses her fucking mind when someone watches the great outdoors and that bats in there flying around and john cannon comes out he's like that's a that's a big one it's about it's about foot long and dan echo is going wow wow roman dude his license plate says roman one on it i'm gonna go introduce mr thick dick to mr urinal cake forget about it and that voice is so like his voice is so like and i don't know if that's a canadian accent but to me that's what they all i don't know man well no so much i think of like the the fact that he is like from ottawa um and his like dad was in like poll or like government kind of and like his mastery of like boring respectability and like using that as a counterpoint to the insanity of what he's doing

is like so much of why i love him you know what he reminds me of, I think, and it's another one of my favorite characters, is he always plays a Hank Hill kind of thing. Does that make sense? Like you said, he's a real normal guy, but then it's, I don't know. Yeah, that mid-career Dan Aykroyd, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Trading Places is... Trading Places is so good. And was he in the Britney Spears movie Crossroads? He was, yeah. Was he the dad? Written by Shonda Rhimes. Shonda Rhimes wrote that? Are you serious? Shut the fuck up, really?

Whoa. Look, man, everybody's got to hustle somehow. Busta's wife, dude. Man. Leigh-Anne, Shonda, and Busta Rhimes. One of the big, one of the true power families in Hollywood. And there's actually, there's a rapper from Fort Worth Ving Rhimes that not a lot of people know about. I wonder why.

You gotta go, dude. All right, I'll just crip walk out of here. I'll be gone. Oh, man. That's like that. I'm looking it up right now. M. Night Shyamalan wrote some crazy movie, didn't he? Yeah, he wrote a bunch of them.

Some kids movie? Nah. But, oh, yeah, Stuart Little. The movie, the screenplay for Stuart Little. M. Night Shyamalan? M. Night Shyamalan. Really? There was a twist ending.

I did not think he was going to win that boat race. Didn't see it coming. I just, you know. Excellent. Dan Aykroyd. Hell yeah. Solid. Guy, time for your second pick.

All right. So first pick, I went with a classic choice. Sure. Second pick, I'm going to go with Hot Now. I'm going to select Miss Sandra Oh. Oh. Yeah. All right.

Now, we're all very much in the moment of first Asian-American actress to be nominated for Best Actress at the Emmys. of first Asian American actress to be nominated for best actress at the Emmys. But this woman has been firsting so hard for the past 20 years. She's been working so hard. She's had like three careers now. Like, oh, yes, we all know Sideways. We all know Grey's Anatomy.

We all know Killing Eve. But in between, she was doing so much goddamn work. Start out with those Genie Award winning performances in Canada. Your double happiness. Your long life prosperity and happiness. Fucking doing like God's work of showing up and saying, yeah, Canada, you didn't know that you needed a Korean Canadian actress who was the best actress in the country. I'm going to fucking show you that you need it. Comes to America, fucking Arliss.

Arliss! Damn, I forgot about Arliss. How many Campbell Ace Awards did she rack up over that time? Arliss, shit! This bitch has been working the whole goddamn time fucking Princess Diaries. Yes. Recently I was watching, it was like an Asian American sort of like performers talking about like, you know, not seeing themselves in media and what it was like coming up. And she really she's like Hollywood is like a bad boyfriend when things are going poorly.

Like, don't get mad. Just get drunk and go to the movies and hang out with your friends. And like the extent to which she has always in an industry that did not at all want or need her, found ways of doing what she does. And also still fucking goes back to Canada and makes a movie with Mina Shum every now and again to remind everybody that Asian Canadian women exist. Yeah, this is where I came from. Damn. Fuck yeah. You weren't in on Sandro before that.

You're in on Sandro now. You weren't in on Sandro before that. You're in on Sandro now. You gotta be in. The other day, I've been looking for a new show, and I was telling Ian this. The other night, I was sitting in my bed. I was like, I'm gonna start Grey's Anatomy. It's a tall man. I've never watched it. I got like 20 minutes in.

I'm like, what am I doing? 14 seasons, 24 episodes. Have you watched Killing Eve, though? No. Oh, fucking get in on Killing Eve. Yeah. I need a new so and then

that's I started watching Succession I think that night is when I finally dipped in but I need a new show so Killing Eve might be it. Killing Eve.

Well let's watch it together. Sounds good. I missed it but that's who's that writer? Is it from the British one right? Fleabag?

The woman who did Fleabag? Yeah Fleabag yeah. I forget her name but yeah that's her next thing. It's supposed to be great. That's what you got nominated for right Sandra? Yeah. Fleabag? The woman who did Fleabag? Yeah, Fleabag, yeah. I forget her name, but yeah, that's her next thing. It's supposed to be great. That's what you got nominated for, right? Yep. Yeah. Fuck yes. Sandra Oh, that's one of those people where you're like,

if she shows up on screen, you're like, oh, hell yeah. Yeah. You know, you're like, this is gonna be real good. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Shouts to Sandra Oh, dude. She's also, you know her. If you heard that and think that you don't know her, when you see her, you're like, oh that you don't Know her When you see her You're like Oh yeah you know Sandra

Oh I love her Yeah yeah yeah What a fun feeling That would be To be one of those people Like if someone didn't know me Then oh shit Yeah I love you

Nah I wanna stay in the shadows Yeah We got orchestral maneuvers In the dark dude Sure I feel you League of Shadows I get it

Time for my second pick Second pick My second pick I've taken them before I've taken them before In a draft That happened this year. This is fun. I have to take him.

I love him so much. I'm taking Martin Short. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just not, like, that man's presence on screen, he's so funny. I laugh at everything he does. Dude.

I got to meet him briefly. One of the sweetest, just so sweet. And you see him and you're like, oh, fuck, it's Martin Short. We've talked about this before. Jimmy Glick, one of the best. It just so sweet. And you see over here like, oh, fuck, it's Martin Short. We've talked about this before. Jimmy Glick, one of the best. It's so good. It's so funny. Of all time.

And it holds up so hard. So hard. It's so good. I like it more now than when it was on the first time. Who was the character he brought from SCTV to SNL? I must say, you guys are too young to remember this no i know the guy with the hair yes oh shit what was that character he had an animated saturday morning cartoon when there were saturday morning cartoons what um it was so delightful yeah uh him and uh him and what steve-o they're doing their, not Steve-o. Steve-o?

I meant Steve. I was going Steve Martin, Steve-o, but then I was like, wait a minute. I mean, Netflix already greenlit that. Both Steve-o and Martin Shremley. Ed Grimley. Ed Grimley. But they're both very physical performers. I would like to see them go do some pranks together.

My mom used to give me the Ed Grimley. He was the one that had his hair like up at a point, right? Yes. Was it the Danzig or was it Up? It was Up. Up. Yeah, my mom used to give me the Ed Grimley. He was the one that had his hair like up at a point, right? Yes. Was it the Danzig or was it Up? It was Up. Up. Yeah, my mom used to do that in the bathtub. You do that when you're drunk now.

I do. One of my favorites. You just make, you shake your hair though. You do that. The Nathan Thurm, the lawyer character, you know, the SNL. So good. I didn't say that. Who said that?

He's like pouring sweat, like the lawyer advocate for these big corporations that are fucking on. It's so those weird seasons of snl when like he and christopher guest and um harry shearer yeah we're just like doing their own thing in no relation to the people who were in like live action sketch right in the other one where they just went off and like filmed all this stuff yeah yeah god they were so good he's just in another one of those, I think we try to do this here, and I think this is probably a thing we're just about to do, is it's comedy that leads with positivity.

You know what I mean? I mean, there's room for all of it, but it's like that Martin Short stuff, it's like comfort food a little bit. You know what I mean? Watching the way he's funny and the characters he plays, it's very sweet and driven by sweetness, but still hilarious. I mean, Three Amigos is amazing. It's one and the characters he plays, it's like very sweet and driven by sweetness, but still hilarious.

I mean, three amigos is amazing. It's one of the best movies there's ever been. He plays like sweet and naive so well. Uh, and I just, I just really love him. He's somebody like,

I know he's like big and famous, but he's someone like who in my own personal esteem, I think I love more than like maybe the gen pop does, but everybody loves him. But I'm just like, every time I see him, I get very stoked like maybe the gen pop does. But everybody loves him. But I'm just like, every time I see him, I get very stoked. Another Ontario guy. Hamilton. There's one.

Martin Short. Ontario's really going for it. Ontario's is like, is that the, what's the LA of Canada? Toronto. Toronto is the LA, Chicago, and New York of Canada. Really? But like Ontario is like over 40% of the population of the country. Really? Okay. I didn't know that% of the population of the country. Really?

Okay. I didn't know that. That's gnarly. I'm coming through with some Nova Scotians later though. Don't worry. Wonderful. No, I was joking. Oh.

I mean, I got a Nova Scotian. Well, we're going to find out what, oh wait, no, David, you're not out there. Sean, it's time for your second and third picks. So my second pick is going to be a one Catherine O'Hara. Oh. Nice choice. Yeah. Just absolutely fantastic.

For me, it's going back to Beetlejuice. That's where I'm digging from. But I mean, all the Christopher Guest movies and everything. I mean, she's just fucking brilliant. So good. Always so, so, so funny. Can play that kind of like that tense humor. So good. Always so, so, so funny. Can play that kind of like, like that tense humor,

you know, like the, like. That nervous, again, I'm going to be a little bit, just that nervous energy. So goddamn funny all the time. And the characters that she plays in all the Christopher Guest movies are fantastic.

Another Second City person. Huh? Oh, from Toronto itself. Well, now that I'm learning it's 40% of the goddamn population. Can't feel so bad about it. A lot of people came out of SCTV, too. Short did, she did.

John Candy did? I'm not sure. I don't know about John Candy, actually. But, yeah. She's in that, is she in Schitt's Creek? Oh, yeah. She is in that, right?

That was, Laura's dad got us into that. Sue Carmel, St. Sue Carmel loves that show. It's a really good show. Yeah. It's Creek? Oh, yeah. I'm making that up. She is in that, right? That was, Laura's dad got us into that. And it's actually- St. Sue Carmel loves that show. It's a really good show. Yeah. It's, you have to, it's one of those, you see it on Netflix, you're like, I don't know about all this. My mom and my niece love it and I have not watched it and I feel bad.

The name turns me off. Yes. Yeah. Well, and- I get it, but it shouldn't. Go ahead. Oh, it's only a matter of time before I find myself at a party at, with Eugene Levy's gay son.

Sure. And have to be like, oh, I love your work. That kid rips, by the way. He's so good in that show. And I just like their dynamic, too, like father and son. Yeah, you can feel it. And he's like an EP on the show or something, right? Yeah.

Or like a co-creator? Yeah, he created it. God, that's so sick. Damn, she was in Wyatt Earp? I don't even remember that. I don't know that I've seen Wyatt Earp as my allegiance lies to Tombstone. You are a Tombstone man. You are a Tombstone man.

There's one Wyatt Earp and his name is Kurt Russell. The mom in fucking Home Alone, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you were saying that about the frustrated energy and the beautiful thing about that declaration of Kevin is it's like this one moment where you finally get all that Catherine O'Hara energy in the world. As an audience member, you're just like, it's fucking Kevin!

You're screaming it. And when the dad's like, that's it. I left the garage door open. No, it's not it. And you're just like shaking the fucking TV like it's a pinball machine. That is a great build up. You're so like, ah. You have your kid! You've known the whole goddamn time.

But she, I mean, she is really amazing. It was Christopher Guest movies, too. Oh, dude, yeah. Those are fucking good. The last one wasn't, though, right? I don't know that I saw. The Masked Pops or whatever. No, I'm thinking like Best in Show and like Mighty Wind.

Mighty Wind? Mighty Wind? I thought the- For Your Consideration? For Your Consideration? Yeah. I really liked even. Yeah.

I enjoyed it. Yeah. God, what a tangled web. I want Parker Posey to work. That's all I care about. Sure. Yep, I agree. And also connecting the dots, Home Alone, John Candy.

John Candy. One of the Kenosha Kickers at the end of Home Alone with Catherine O'Hara in the back of the U-Haul. Polka, polka, polka. Oh, you never heard of us? Polka, polka, polka. No? Well, I love that. He just thought, well, obviously she knows who the Kenosha Kickers are.

Who the fuck wouldn't know? She's on the circuit. We're the Kenosha goddamn Kickers. We've been in Sheboygan. We've been in Oshkosh. We've been in Euclid. Appleton, dog. St. Marie.

No? No, we got over to Moorhead one time. Catherine O'Hara, great pick. And your third pick? Third pick, I'm going just off the, well, man. See, I'm wondering if one of you is going to pick this, because the importance of what this person did would be the only reason why I picked them. I didn't even know this until last night.

Okay. So I'm going to do it. I'm going to pick James Naismith as he invented basketball. Solid choice. Fucking prick. But I'm only going off of... That's all right. That's all right. Yeah.

No, go ahead. I knew he invented basketball. You picked weed, too. You're the guy who picked weed. I don't smoke weed. And I picked weed on one of these drafts. What was it? Things that...

Things that smell good. Or smells. Smells, yeah. And weed smells good. And you know what else is good? Basketball playboy. Basketball doesn't smell good. Smells. Smells. Yeah. And weed smells good. And you know what else is good? Basketball playboy. Basketball doesn't smell good. Well, you know, blood, sweat, and tears.

Dr. James Naismith. Yeah, Dr. James Naismith. Canadian man. I always thought he was I don't know why, I just thought he was from the States. And I only knew he invented basketball from an old episode of Saved by the Bell where Zach is in a trivia bowl. And they say who invented basketball. He's the guy who hung up the peach baskets.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. James Naismith. I don't have a ton to say about it. Sure. But the importance of what he did to me. I mean, his legacy lives on.

Yeah. Well, with how much I love basketball, I feel like everybody, basketball is just such a awesome sport. No, everybody knows what a ball is like. Born in Ontario. Yeah. Yeah.

Invented at the University of Kansas though, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah he is Canadian yeah he did it most of it happened here and Laura was wondering if that was cheating or not and I'm like

no no no he's still a Canadian tell us a couple more things about you I cannot what are some of your favorite things about basketball

basketball it's the best thing in the world I mean it's it's a sport where people don't get hurt which is why they get hurt they tear their knees

and shit they tear their knees and shit you're talking to a Portland Trailblazer fan saying players don't get hurt see which is, well, they get hurt, but they tear their knees and shit. They tear their knees and shit. You're talking to a Portland Trailblazers fan saying players don't get hurt. See, I feel like this energy is coming at me. You're one of my best friends in the whole world. I'm going to choke you to death.

It's coming at me. Keep the mics running. Because I took James Naismith is what's happening. I like that basketball is a floor show that's inside. It is the closest a sport can get to being cabaret. Yeah. You know? Wow.

You have a drink. You're like sitting like 40 feet away from them. You're like, this is fun. It's so dramatic. You can watch the bench and see like that. Yeah. The dynamics. You can tell which people don't like each other.

Yeah. When they're mad at each other. One of the big things about basketball that I love is that it is, I think, by far one of the most storyline-driven sports. And I think that is why it's gotten so big. In football, teams are good one year and then not good the next year. Players are maybe only good for three years or so. Baseball, nobody gives a fuck about for the most part.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And even then, there's different players. But in basketball, people are famous for 15 years. Yeah. Like the LeBron saga, you don't even have to enjoy the sport of basketball. No. To just like watch him like a soap opera. Yeah. He's his own.

He's his, it's its own storyline. It's amazing. Yeah. It's so nuts. I think it's because it's the sport, at least like what you're talking about to as it happens. Yeah. It's the most exposed. It's the most exposed.

We don't know what's going on in the dugout. We don't necessarily know what's going on under their helmets, what they're saying. You know what I mean? Basketball, they're right on the court. Yeah. Sitting right next to Ian on the fucking court. That was a good day. That was crazy.

That was a good day. That ramped up the love for basketball quite a bit. Damn, we managed to do that again this year. God, that was nuts, dude. I said it was a once in a lifetime thing. It might be once a year. I was planning on it being a zero in a lifetime thing. We had to sit courtside because Ian's a fucking saint.

And it was amazing. I was right here. And where you're a lifetime. We had to sit courtside because Ian's a fucking saint. And it was amazing. I was right here. And where you're sitting was an NBA basketball player. Just right there. It was so nuts. I'm dazzled. I don't care. I don't care about them at all.

Sitting that close again. Also, the food was free. Yeah. Also, the food was free. Dr. James Naismith. Yeah, dude. Great pick. I don't like bumming anyone out on the draft.

No, please. You didn't really. You know, you didn't like bum me on life. No, yeah. But in the draft, yeah. But that just, yeah, I was really happy when I learned that last night, too. Yeah, with my third pick. Let's hear it.

What do you got? I'm going to take the director, James Cameron. Oh, wonderful. He's Canadian? Yeah, he was Canadian. He, wonderful. He's Canadian? Yeah, he was Canadian. He's from Ontario. Specifically a place, Marissa, you might have to correct my pronunciation.

Kapus, Kapus casing? Kapus casing? No, all right. I want it to be Kapus casing. That's Kapus casing. That's according to Wikipedia. That could be wrong too. But dog, Terminator.

Oh yeah. The Abyss. Little picture called Terminator 2. Little picture called The Abyss. A little picture called Terminator 2. A little picture called True Lies. A little series called Entourage, where he directs Aquaman. He is in a helicopter, in Entourage, just wanting to tell Vince

that he's got the part in Aquaman. Vince, how'd you like to come play Aquaman for me, buddy? Vince, I'm in a helicopter for some reason. Vince, you're not up there with your three best friends who can't snowboard about ready to do this black diamond are you? you are? cool aliens fucking like you said Aquaman

fuck what am I blank oh Avatar and then the six sequels they made without ever asking us if we wanted them I remember finding those out where I'm like they got an Avatar plan for 2022 how is one of them not out yet? you think one of them will be out yet? It's crazy.

Well, also, he directed two of the highest grossing films of all time, and neither of them are the Abyss or True Life. Yeah, Titanic. Titanic. I know, right? Yeah. Fucking Titanic. I need to revisit the Abyss. The Abyss is so good.

It's been years. He's also like a deep sea diver. We got into via Titanic. I mean, you're a scuba guy, though. I'm a scuba now he takes like submarines I mean you're a scuba guy though I'm a scuba guy that's the thing I'm a scuba guy there's the link

that's how it started it's really that self contained underwater breathing apparatus are you scuba trained I'm scuba trained how was it it's great

he's also duba trained a lot of people don't do that yeah scuba and duba do scuba and duba no which is where you have a full face mask

with a joint in it I was gonna say indulge the listeners cause obviously I know what Duba diving is. Wait, what is Duba? Isn't that just something you made up? I always used to think people said scuba-duba. I guess they don't. I thought that my whole life.

I think I just said it as a kid, and my mom was like, yeah, say it. Yeah, David, everyone says that. I thought when you say scuba, you say dupe. Like, I've always felt that way. My whole family is scuba divers. My dad got- Do they say dupe? No, they don't.

No, no. Okay. My dad got certified, like, in the 70s when it was, like, real. My dad's kind of a daredevil in a weird way. Yeah, that's like a badass thing to do. Now he does cave diving. Oh. Which is great because he's in his 60s and he loves it.

Ivan Carmel's a gnarly dude. Ivan Carmel's a gnarly dude. Ivan Carmel, buck. He's a buck man. I oncemel's a gnarly dude. Ivan Carmel's a gnarly dude. Ivan Carmel, buck. That is a buck man. I once asked, we were leaving Tacoma, I've said this before, but we were leaving Tacoma,

there was a Taylor Swift concert the night before and he was driving, our friend Zach, Zach and me, he was driving us back to Portland because he came up to see Ian. Ian was flying out,

we'd all done the comedy club so we're driving back with Ivan. I go, Ivan, how do you think that Taylor Swift concert went last night? And he goes,

who gives a fuck? And then he just started driving. Whatever sports car he was driving. It was so dope, dude. Probably the Audi, right? You guys would pay him to the back of that thing.

You're so goddamn Midwestern. I was in Shotgun. Yeah, you were? Oh, hell yeah. That's where he said it. I was like, I just don't like kombucha. He goes,

you're so goddamn Midwestern it makes me sick. He is a strong wind blowing out of Brooklyn, that man. A strong wind blowing out of Brooklyn. Five nine? Yeah. Five nine, Strong wind blowing out of Brooklyn, that man. Strong wind blowing out of Brooklyn. 5'9"?

Yeah. 5'9", all of it. That's all you need if you're doing it right. I mentioned, we had a phone call last night, and I mentioned that I might be thinking about buying a house. I wake up this morning at 9. 9 on a Saturday. I'm not even, like, sleeping in it's nine i have two

missed calls from him and five missed calls from various realtors in the los angeles area we talked at eight o'clock last night i have no idea what at what time he placed these calls on a saturday that's wonderful realtors and they're like i've got they've been hitting me up since we started recording this podcast. I love that, on a Saturday. So all of a sudden, I was like, maybe I'm in the market soon. I'm in the market now, I guess.

He put you in the game. According to Ivan Martin Carmel. That's what's getting in the middle? Martin. I didn't know that. Absolutely. That's the meat in the sandwich. You'll see it on the bar mitzvah certificate.

I have seen it. Right under Yisrael ben Solomon. And now you're Jewish, right? Yochanan ben Yisrael. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, oh, scuba diving. It's amazing. It's wonderful.

It's so placid. Is it scary? No, it's not at all scary. It's so quiet, right? It's less scary than swimming. It seems scary. You have no idea what's under there. When you're under there, the bubbles,

scuba divers don't really get attacked by sharks because they don't look at you like food. Because there's bubbles. A scuba diver has never been killed by a shark. My wetsuit just looks like blood, though. You are a blood, right? Don't you dare. If there's any sharks who are blood, then you're in trouble.

It's so peaceful and beautiful. Yeah, it seems like it'd be very peaceful. One thing I like about it, I mean, as a heavier dude, is that feeling of just like... Oh, being weightless. Of being weightless. But we've talked about that being in the ocean. Complete freedom. Yeah, that's why you do flips in the pool.

That's why fat guys are always flipping in pools. I'm like, oh shit, I'm like, yeah. Can I tell a self-congratulatory anecdote very briefly? Yes, yes. I would love it. Was in Antigua, was going snorke I'm like, oh shit, I'm like, yeah. Can I tell a self-congratulatory anecdote very briefly? Yes, yes. I was in Antigua, was going snorkeling, like got boated off to where the coral reef was. I was like, they didn't have flippers to fit my feet. I was a little bit scared about

whether I would be able to keep up and stuff. I jumped out and it was like, okay. And then the guy I was with who was like kind of a like ripped gay guy with no body fat to keep him up jumped in the water became completely terrified by how much energy it took to keep himself up and then he climbed back up into the boat

for like the next hour and I was fine because nature keeps me afloat. This is a home game for me brother laughter laughter laughter it is a beautiful when we go to the beach I'll just like I'll just stay in the water for me, brother.

It is a beautiful... When we go to the beach, I'll just stay in the water for hours. Ian stands there and just fights the waves, dude. I love it. But also, as a gigantic guy, there aren't that many situations

when you get tossed about. Yeah, when you feel... Sure, it feels nice. I love to go stand in the waves and just get my shit rocked because I'm like, this never happens in real life. Yeah.

No, I agree. We've never been across the line from each other, nose tackle to center. No. Is that what you were? I was a left tackle, but I'll play a goddamn center.

You were up there fucked up. I would have loved if I lined up and you were a left tackle. I would have loved that. I just thought, I'm in the three point. Coach!

Coach! Dwayne! Just the old mouse in the house, dude. You're just leaning down. What are you doing the old mouse in the house, dude. You're just leaning down. What are you doing? Calling my sister all night, dude. I don't even know your sister, man.

That was, oh God, I used to love, do you play football? I did play football. We have to. We get conscripted into it. So we all played football. Oh yeah. Well, we played football.

Some of us were playing football. Some of us were playing football. Some of us were doing the splits to impress our teammates. I got a bit about it, but I did the splits at practice one time because I thought it would impress everybody. He grew up doing taekwondo. It did not. Maybe you could see the look on a guy's face because he understands how ridiculous.

You read the situation completely wrong. I couldn't have read it wronger. I don't know how you saw that energy and you were like, you know what I'm going to do to get these guys on my side? Pop culture had prepared you for a scenario where football players would never want to see that. For real. I walked up and this kid, Eric Johnson, he goes, you can do the splits, right? And I go, can I?

And I, boom, boom, straight down to the splits. And you know what came out of their mouths. You know what's wild is if you were on the varsity Westview High School football team, 2003? Yeah. 2002. When I was, you know, senior year for me, graduated in 03, just for the listeners

who are keeping Wikipedia up to date. But the football season happened in 02. It would have gone over well. We had a weird senior year where all the best players were kind of like nerds. So I was in AP Western Civ with a quarterback. And all that stuff.

That sounds tight. All the jockey guys were sucked. They were still on the football team, but they were terrible. They weren't very good. Juniors and sophomores were taking their positions and stuff. It was a fun year. I feel like if you were on varsity, yeah, you could have made it work I don't know what you're out there doing JV splits That's it was a easy thing. JV splits was wild. That's lovely though. 15 year old boys. I haven't quite learned how gender works

No, it was Decade you saying can I like This is it, Sean. Don't blow it. I might as well have just thrown my arms like, can I? And then boom, straight down. It was fucking gnarly. That's so wonderful. They were only robbing themselves of seeing a pretty cool thing. No, no, no. Yeah, James Cameron. I love

putting a button on it. Yeah, James Cameron. I am still fascinated by this because you can't slide out because you have cleats on whole bit about it so okay well so so what happened is i so i thought because i was in my mind i was like do the fucking splits right now because they're gonna think it's cool and then i slammed my foot into the ground and i did like a shimmy where it's like a like a baby deer standing up you know the shaky like yes i shimmied all the way down to the ground and then even hit it clean

but yeah it was the left leg cheerleader splits uh just like that this is the first act of the movie about how you became a straight drag queen oh shit wow that's right i'd watch that yeah you tried it huh you would try it or you tried it i could no i've never tried it but yeah but i mean if you can split you can death drop i don't know what it does it's a death drop we got i think it's where you go to the splits hard. You jump into splits. Dude, in Taekwondo, I used to do it. So I was in Taekwondo for roughly 15 years.

You know that because of how he pronounces it. Taekwondo. So I could do the splits. I was super good. So I used to do that all the time, like land in the splits, like just drop to them all the time. Thunder, what is it?

Huh? What'd you call it? Thunder crash? Death drop. Death drop. Where'd I get thunder crash What'd you call it? Thunder Crash? Death Drop. Death Drop. Where'd I get Thunder Crash? That's what it's called when I do it. That's when we're doing...

I'm taking too loud. What'd you call it? Loud Boom? When we were on a SEAL Team 6, that was my co-man. Thunder Crash. Kill Shot Thunder Crash. Yeah, Kill... James Cameron

apparently a bit of a prick but good director made some fucking amazing movies amazing amazing movies whatever people can be dicks Guy

time for your third pick now I was a little worried one of you guys might have gone for this as well but we've had a lot of Ontario a little bit of Quebec

I wanted to go over into the Maritimes and Nova Scotia. I am picking Violet Desmond, the Rosa Parks of Canada. Oh, I don't know anything about this. Dive in. So the largest black community in Canada for a really long time was in Nova Scotia because they were slaves who had fought with the British in the Revolutionary War. And then they got moved up there.

I was just reading about that. That's so funny. Britain was just reading about them. That's so funny. Britain was like, you guys can be free because you fought for us, and then they treated them like shit forever. But Viola Desmond, she was a hairdresser who would drive around and do hair, and she got stuck in a town overnight, so she went to the movies, and there was a black section.

The rest of Canada didn't have enough black people to have segregation. But Nova Scotia did. And so she paid for a ticket. There was no one else in the theater. And they got mad at her for sitting in the white section. And she was like, fuck y'all. And then she went and like got arrested for not paying the additional tax on the charge for a white seat. And was convicted, and Canada didn't do the right thing.

Canada always has the best of intentions, but always does horrible things. And now she's on the $10 bill. She's on the $10 bill there. She's on the $10 bill. Okay. Viola Desmond. And she's from Nova Scotia? She's from Nova Scotia.

Fuck yeah. I think I was reading a little bit about her, too. Did she make herself an amateur police officer later? That's Steven Seagal. Shit, you're right. Common mistake. I'm thinking of Shaquille O'Neal. I mean, we've got Alias Grace. We've got Anne with an E.

Should we be going to Netflix with a Canadian series where Viola Desmond solves crime? Yes. Yeah. I think so. crime? Yes. Yeah. I think so. Let's go. Yeah. Netflix, they hear. They listen.

It's not too far away. Yeah, Netflix listens. Yeah. Yeah, it's like right over there. So you just gave me the 15 minutes. I have an idea for the next move. There it is. It's an on-location series.

Hear me out. Oh, no. One time I went to this. I went to this. She had been a producer on The Cosby Show, Grace Under Fire, Roseanne, all of that stuff. And so had a house that was essentially in the Pacific Ocean. Right. Like she had the most house you've ever seen.

And she was just like, all right, I want to make shows. But we have to make them in Britain for the first season so that we own them. And then we have to use enough Canadian actors that is technically Canadian content. So Canada will pay for half of it. So scamming other countries that care about content for money to create your show is actually a brilliant financial choice. Hell yeah. You'll be a house in the ocean. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Ooh. Goddamn. We're going to start pitching that. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Ooh.

Goddamn. We gotta start pitching that. Yeah, dude. Yeah. About a ship full of Canadian soldiers who get stranded during Dunkirk. But just for the first season. After that, it's a show about a stand-up comedian trying to get by. Do you guys ever get sad that they made all of the shows that they're ever going to make about stand-up comedians?

All the time. I do. All the time. I get it. I don't know what else to pitch. I have this weird situation. My reps, who I trust and love, they're like, I have an idea for a show. And they're like, is it kind of based on your life?

I'm like, no, I just think it's funny. They're like, let's try to pitch one that's based on your life. So they always want me to pitch shows that are based on shit I've gone through or loosely based on shit I've gone through. So you have an angle in the room and I'm like, I've been a standup comedian for almost 10 years. I haven't done another life. No, I mean, this is a real problem in our town.

And I would say lay over that not being a straight guy and it makes it a little bit more complex that they like kind of don't want to make a show about gay people, but they want to say like, but what about what's from your life? What's your story that you're going to bring to this? And it's super annoying. I don't want to tell a story about me.

I want to tell a story about sassy witches. Yeah. Right. Cause like, maybe we feel like a sassy witch sometimes. Where would we be? If like the people who wrote Hocus Pocus, they were like,

you got to write about your life. That was a weird reference. That was a beautiful reference. That's a beautiful reference. What am I gonna write about? Well, my dad works at the Caterpillar Factory in Peoria. You wanna hear that, or you want Hocus Pocus, goddammit? Because I want Hocus Pocus. I want Hocus Pocus. I guess it could be like, I'm gonna try to sell a

show with all the stuff about my life, but there's no stand-up comedy to hold it together. Then it doesn't make sense. Like, why am I drunk on a Wednesday? Exactly. But it's not sad? Exactly. The only reason not sad? Exactly. The only reason I'm at this Mississippi wedding is because of a gig. Like, understand, dude. Right?

Yeah. People seem to be fine with them, too. A lot of people still watch, like, stand-up comedy-driven shows. That's true. That's true. But, yes, a little bit sad. Thinking about getting into hobbies just for the sake of selling a show about them. I mean, it's so true. Yeah. Like, I just for the sake of selling a show about them. I mean, so true.

Yeah. Like, I've been doing pottery. We're doing a show about a pottery studio. Non-Jackson skateboarding over here, dude. Well, that's the show. Those aren't hobbies. Those are lifestyles. David, it's time for your third and fourth picks.

Hot corner. Hot corner. This is, okay. Now I'm getting so weird. I just don't trust anything else I'm doing. Whoa, put your shirt on first. My third pick, surprise, it didn't go yet. Celine.

Oh. It was about to if it came back to me. Gosh, she's a beast. Powerful voice, standing gigs in Vegas, right? Yeah. Done it all, huge. People love her in Sierra Leone. Yeah.

Like, that's, like. I mean, you got ears. Like, Mike, I went there, and they're, like, they would be, like, they'd, like, say, like, oh, we love Tupac. We love. And then they love Celine Dion. Fuck yeah. Like, it's just good.

You can't argue with it, dude. Also, I want to say, like, no one sings a good O Canada except for Celine Dion. good O Canada except for Celine Dion. Like you, like her, her O Canada makes me cry every fucking time because she loves it and she needs it. She loves it and she needs, like, she just seems like a good person too. There's nothing, there seems to be no malice there. Are you familiar with her Instagram of her doing fashion shows? No.

I mean, she just wears the most ridiculous things like to business meetings and stuff and is constantly Instagramming it and you know that she's just having fun with her life. That is what I want to see. That's what I want to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Instagram should be for that and skateboarding and basketball and dogs.

That's what it is if you do it right. Food. I like the food shots. Yeah, yeah, I like food shots too. I want to see your brunch. Let's go on the record right now. I might go. That's one thing where I'm like, I'll do it.

If I'm on a clean eating streak, I do. I want to see your avocado toast. I really do. Keep posting them. Because it's beautiful. Like, an avocado toast is more beautiful than it is delicious. Absolutely. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to put so much salt on an avocado toast to the point where it's like, why am I eating avocado toast at this point? John Early and I worked on a show where we were across the street from this Australian place that made avocado toast that by the time you put stuff on it was like $18. And he would do it every day and be sad to me every day that he didn't understand why he was doing it. And it was magnificent. I mean, that's the avocado toast hole, though, right? That's how they get you.

Oh, yeah. You fall in, good luck getting out. Yeah, I don't want to do it, but I got to do it. It's like Batman trying to get out of that cave, you know? No, I don't know. Where's Lau? Where's Lau? But yeah, Celine, I just think she's,

I think that's like, yeah, what a talent, what a career. That's the way it is. Yeah, that's the way it is. In that video, she's wearing way it is. Yeah, that's the way it is. In that video, she's wearing khakis. Yeah, telling you what time it is. In a black t-shirt. All coming back to me. Shit, man.

It's all coming back. It's all coming back to me now. You've not been at gay karaoke until you have watched a drag queen reproach someone for, like, it's all coming back to me now in six minutes long. Yeah. And, like, people select it at karaoke all the time, and just to have a drag queen be like, you can do it, but you only get three minutes of it.

I think that's fucking fair. That's reasonable. That's a high expectation of my skills. I think that's fucking important. I think these karaoke places should be ahead of that, by the way. The songs where there's eight minute versions. I did Suspicious Minds by Elvis, where the karaoke version had that like a strung out on pills Elvis just doing an extra four minutes of the song.

You know, like at the end? We're caught in a trap. We can't walk out. And it's just like that for like three minutes. I'm like, I didn't sign up for this. No, nobody needs it. I want the parts everybody knows. Keep it moving. But she's just like a fucking Valkyrie, dude. And it's just like that for like three minutes. I'm like, I didn't sign up for this. No, nobody needs it. I want the parts everybody knows. Keep it moving.

But she's just like a fucking Valkyrie, dude. That voice is powerful. It's crazy. I'd go to war. If I had to go somewhere and I was listening to get hyped up for war, I'd go to war for that. If she was in a chariot behind me, one white horse, chariot, singing, and I had a sword. And that's like who I'm saving? Like I'm defending my queen?

I'm running. Absolutely. Yeah. absolutely yeah yeah so you know yeah celine dion did so that's my third pick celine i'm gonna pick it what's your fourth pick oh man i just think i know it's weird i'm having another comedian on but i just think he was steadfast this man yeah never not funny from what you read about him he was just a jobber. Just clocked in, did the job, clocked out. Phil Hartman. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, he's just... I didn't know Phil Hartman was Canadian.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let me see what city... I'm just a caveman. It's fucking... That voice is so... It was ripped off. It's like the idea of whoever...

It's like the Jerry Seinfeld voice where it's, what's the deal with... But that's Jerry Seinfeld. He he did it and that's what made it so great that's how i feel about phil hartman's voice phil hartman and cb4 you remember him he's the politician right it's it's it's ludicrous and it's it's it's just wrong phil hartman so i married an axe murderer like he's just like go all the way yeah yeah he was just so funny and he could do so much with so little because there's so many roles where he didn't say that much well there was like this business like professionalism to that like late 80s early 90s snl cast that like normally snl is like we're young and cool and they were all, we're getting the job done. Right, right, right, right.

Getting it done so well. Yes. Like news radio was truly magnificent. Like Bill McNeil is one of the great characters of all time. Yep. Yeah. Just a professional. And also one of those guys where there was like the sadness that, you know, exists in everybody and especially comedians.

It was like right below the surface with him. And you could kind of see it sometimes. Yeah. And you kind of feel it. And when he would do, what was it? On one of the seasons of SNL, it was him and I forget the woman he did it with. But like that, like serious, like, did they do it? Jan Hooks, Nora Dunn, or Victoria Jackson.

Those are your options. Damn. Yeah. Let me look it up. Phil Hartman. That was dope. I like that it was like black and white

that love is a dream thing it was Jan Hooks oh yeah that yeah which was weird but it was like yeah

that and then oh and like the end when it was him and Chris Bartley's last season and the two of them cuddling on stage together man yeah

knowing they'd both be dead like within a few years. Damn. Fuck. But yeah, Phil Harbour was good, man. He's just so fun. Did you know also? I'm just a caveman.

He was a graphic designer who made album covers before he was a big comedian. And he did the album cover for Aja by Steely Dan. Really? In America. He did a Crosby, Stills, and Ash album cover. No. Yeah. Dude, I always love hearing...

How do you even get into graphic design before computers? I don't know. How do you get into comedy after you're already doing that? Have you never seen Xanadu? No. The protagonist of Xanadu, he makes album covers, or he copies album covers, or he has some stupid fake job, but it does make it seem like as unglamorous as possible you know might have been i don't know nine to five johnny

paycheck clocking he was in there clocking in clocking out like for big bands he did it which was pretty like it's an interesting interesting life all the way yeah that sounds uh all right guy it's time for your fourth pick oh well after like uh bori's like strong third pick i found myself scrambling for a songstress of my own i said to myself ann murray i said to myself katie lang but these are not the answers i will say alanis does she it's crazy that she made it this far does she have does she have the voice of a celine dion no. No. But not a lot of people do. Not a lot of people do. And I honestly love the Carole Kings out there or the people who have these songs that their voice isn't enormous, but it is filled with so much that it always gets me.

And if I need to get myself into a place to be creative or right i will so frequently just go back to jagged little pills i'm staying it's so it goes so hard banger after banger yeah there's so many jams on there you learn you learn is such a smart and wise song and none of us were like ready to take it i mean yes it is easy to sort of like, oh, also, would you like my grand reading of Ironic? I was just gonna ask. Yeah, okay, because everyone is like, those things aren't ironic. And my need-

Yeah, that's a great standup comedy premise for any of you out there, by the way. If you're thinking about dipping your feet in the bathtub. My need to believe that she is right about things, I was always like, no, the irony is that you take pleasure in your own sadness is that there is this strange charm when bad things happen to you that you're like well isn't this nice yeah um like that's the irony oh man um wow yes there it is yeah you heard it here first yeah and not maybe first but also powerful work on You Can't Do That on television. That fucking show. A sketch comedian actor in her own right.

Yeah. That was the first thing that I remember ever seeing and thinking was, I was like, this is funny. This is what funny is. And that was that show. Well, okay. Two incidences, both featuring women who I have drafted on this show, of watching something as a child or teenager and then being shifted out of it by the subtle power of insidious Canadianism.

Watching You Can't Do That on television and they got onto a boat and then they showed a map showing where the boat was going from and to and I was like, those aren't places. I was like, that is not a shape of a part of any part of this country. And then this is the best. So Sandra Oh's first starring role was in this movie, Double Happiness. She plays an aspiring actress. There are no roles for Chinese. She's playing a Chinese Canadian. There are no

roles for her. She's reading for a part in a movie where she's a waitress and she takes somebody's order and her response is would you like gravy with those fries and as a child I was like what? is this science fiction?

takes me right out of it. Oh, that's tight. Oh, that's tight. That's the concept. It is absurd. No. Your fried thing doesn't have enough fat. I'm just picturing like a Canadian who came down in the service industry, came down to the States

and they went to like Chattanooga. It was their first day on the job. They're asking some like good old boys, so you want gravy with the fries? And they're like, yeah. I do actually. I never, you're fucking down here changing the game. I had no idea.

Yeah, I do. I've always wanted gravy with my fries and now they, you know, now they got it in Chattanooga. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah. It feels a little out towards the end, but we get where I'm going alana's morrisette alana's morrisette i love that i wore that album out oh dude for real yeah me and my friend cj times in life i also used to get

embarrassed when that uh when i'd be listening with my dad mostly actually in his car like would she go down on you in a theater and i so there were times when I would turn it down. Yeah. Because you feel weird. With my dad, I'm like 10 or whatever. You think your dad doesn't know what it means at the time? That would seem so absurd. Like the guy who's porn I would later find and use. Fuck it. And then you find out later,

what about Dave Coulier, right? Isn't that the song? Yeah. You know, she doesn't take an L for that in my book, though. It was not going to get picked. Me and my friend CJ used to listen to that before we were going to bed.

We'd have sleepovers, and he'd put on Jagged Little Pill, and we'd just fall asleep to it. Such a Jagged Little Pill. That is a beautiful story. That was our go-to-sleep album for a while. All right, guys, it's time to slow it down. Not getting listened to on the car ride home, you're a fucking maniac.

I'll tell you that right now. I'm a fucking maniac either way, bruv. Bruv. Bruv. Mental. Bruv. In it. In it.

In it. Massive. Start from my fourth pick. Getting loopy. I'm going to take Mike Myers. Yeah. Hell yeah. I don't know if it like, I mean, Martin Short, I love more, but I don't know if anyone's My fourth pick. Getting loopy. I'm going to take Mike Myers. Yeah. Hell yeah.

I don't know if, like, I mean, Martin Short I love more, but I don't know if anyone's brought me more joy than Mike Myers movies. Because I was right there in the pocket the whole way. From, like, from Wayne's World all the way through the Austin Powers movies. All of them. All the way into Shrek. You know, like. One speed bump was the love guru. The rest?

There were a couple speed bumps, right? That's really the only one with me. Is it really? I think so, that I can think of. I mean, there's so many good ones. Like, So I Made an Axe Murderer, his partner in Glory's Bastards, dude. That's so great.

He's so good. I had no idea that was him for at least half of the scene where you look into his eyes and you're like, oh shit, that's Mike Myers. Well well he does such a good job of representing like the canadian investment in responsible britishness yeah like um yeah yeah his dad is british right or scottish or something yeah but like definitely anglo yeah yeah um he's so he's so fucking funny absolutely wayne's world couldn't hold up any heart it's such man that movie is still really iconic it's so fucking funny, man. Absolutely. Wayne's World couldn't hold up any harder. It's such an amazing movie. Man, that movie is still really, really good. It's so fucking good. Yeah.

And we've talked about it before, but to me, it was funny when I was a kid for completely different reasons than it's funny now. Yeah. The humor is so much different. And now I watch it, I'm like, oh my God, all that stuff I didn't get when I was fucking Yeah, so much stuff you didn't get. So much stuff you didn't get. The band is called the Shitty Beatles.

So it's not just a clever name then. It's not just a clever name then. It's so much stuff. The band is called the Shitty Beatles. So it's not just a clever name then. It's not just a clever name then. It's so fucking funny. When I was a kid, I was like, oh, they're saying shitty. They're saying shit. Yeah, that's funny. But now the band calls themselves the Shitty Beatles. It's very fucking funny.

I've talked about my dad a lot on this episode for some reason. Yeah, I don't usually. I've never heard you speak of him before. Oh, I'm very rare. That's so funny. I love him. We have a great relationship, but I don't talk about him that much. Did speak of him before. I'm very rare. I love him. We have a great relationship but I don't talk about him

that much. Did you guys secretly go to Canada a bunch when you were kids? We did. Just driving up to the We really like the Austin Powers movies

where those movies we would really watch together and we'd do the quotes back at each other. And my little sister too, Aliza. Shout outs to Aliza Carmel. Two master's degrees.

God damn that's buck. Two. Bop bop. One for each of you. Two master's degrees. God damn, that's a buck. Two. Bop, bop. One for each of you. Two master's degrees. I got two degrees here. AK, AK-47 on the track. Going back and getting a doctorate.

Is she? She is. That's happening. God, that's tight. Elisa Carmel. Elisa Rochelle Carmel. But I'll do quotes to each other, like, bonging a blintz,

smoking a pancake. You know, that's the weird, like, the weird Dutch character from, like, Goldmember and shit. Yeah. Goldmember. Dude. Like, that shit, like, the later stuff that people were probably like, oh, that wasn't that funny character from like Goldmember and shit. Yeah. Goldmember. Dude. Like that shit.

Like the later stuff that people were probably like, oh, that wasn't that funny. We fucking loved and like bonded over it. The Dr. Evil biography monologue is one of the funniest things that has ever been spoken. It's so absurd and funny. Yeah. I was beaten until I was insolent. I wore a meat helmet. Right? was Carrie Fisher

the therapist I think so yeah was she the therapist yeah I was beaten until I was insolent yeah

what was the Dutch what was the Dutch guy's name gold member yeah we don't all speak freaky deaky Dutch there's only two things I hate

people who don't accept other people's cultures and the Dutch. When he was trying to kick on me, he was like, oh, this is awkward. Oh, I messed up the quote a little bit. Wait, hold on. I'm going to read the whole thing because it's so funny. And I'm going to try to do it.

I like it when this happens. I like it when you go down this road. The details of my life are quite inconsequential. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with a low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.

My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. I'm going to give up on the accent. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he vented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, a sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Willem ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a Sean Scrotum.

It's breathtaking. I suggest you try it. When he goes, ritualistically shaved my testicles. Yeah. Placed in a burlap bag. It's so funny. It's so silly. It's complete absurdity.

Yeah, it's so good. It's complete absurdity. Typical childhood. Yep. Fuck, that's funny, dude. Yeah. And I even think like him hosting the gong show

in this character and never admitting it. It's at least interesting. Yeah. Even if it's not good. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. And I even think like him hosting the gong show in this character and never admitting it. It's at least interesting. Yeah. Even if it's not good. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.

Fucking yeah. Mike Myers, man. Uh, Sean, time for your fourth and final pick. Now these are two passion picks. Passion picks.

Passion pit. Uh, you know, actually I'm not going to pick the one that I was going to leave it on the board. I'm going to pick this one. It's another passion pick, but it's, uh, it's in the romantic comedy vein.'m pitching i'm picking rachel mcadams

oh nice love it i just i love romantic comedies and i just love most of the stuff she's done we look at mean girls we look at the notebook oh just some of my favorite things in the world and then just fun romantic let's talk about the family stone i mean well i love that movie but a lot of people don't for some reason i mean it is both good and bad at the same time it's bad about those people are insufferable they're terrible like um poor uh sarah jessica parker of course like in the movie you're saying the family's bad yes yeah they're horrible family like they're like they're they're mean to her and they are self-righteous. But, like, the fact that she gets to be so screwy and, like, you know, issuey. And also the fact that it is a family of weird, mean people means we have to go on a weirder journey. I love that journey.

Until the end. I love the journey. And the family, because I didn't, my mom, like, my immediate family, like, my my mom like my who was in my house was fantastic but the rest of my family par for the course you know I've never really been a family person

and so I was I see a movie like that I'm like man I've always wanted kind of like a fucked up like fun quirky

fucked up family yeah where we're all fucked up together movie fucked up yeah like we're all on this journey we're all there together

nobody really gets hurt you know it's not know it's not yeah it's not like your uncle Steve's really gonna beat the shit out of your aunt Summer's new boyfriend or anything

it's just a joke like the family from Succession that's what you're looking for like the family from Succession Succession

bro billions yuck massive well no I just love Rachel McAdams I yeah I just think she'sAdams. I, yeah,

I just think she's fantastic. She is good. Yeah. Midnight in Paris. I know we're not supposed to ever like or talk about Woody Allen movies, but I liked it. But she's, she's charming.

She's charming as an unlikable character, which is, which is powerful. Yeah. Wedding Crashers. Yeah. God, she's amazing in Wedding Crashers.

She's fucking amazing. Mean Girls. Mean Girls, dude. It's bananas. That movie is so good. Yeah. It's bananas. That movie is so good. It's crazy. Mean Girls is one of my favorite movies from the last...

I saw it like twice in a few years. It's just one of my favorite movies. It's just astonishing. I'm not even going to qualify it at all. I fucking love that movie. I'm trying to make fetch happen. It's like, whoa. I didn't have one friend that talked to me like that ever.

I don't know what I would have done. That's how you talk to Shane Torres. I need to rethink my values. You're Rachel McAdams, bro. Do not cut off. Buy his album. Buy Shane's album. Buy his album. Go buy his album. He's how you talk to Shane Torres. I need to rethink my values. You're Rachel McAdams, bro. Do not cut off. Buy his album. Buy Shane's album. Buy his album. Go buy his album. He's a genius. Excellent. And your final pick? Final pick, this is 100% me, but I have

to rep skateboarding. I'm going to pick Rick McCrank. You guys probably don't know who Rick McCrank is, but he's the best skateboarder that ever, in my opinion, the best skateboarder to ever come out of Canada. Rick McCrank? Yeah. Is he so good that when you watch him, you're Rick McCrank? Folks, some lighthearted little joke. Emmy nominated.

I just sprinkled it in. It's not a big deal. When I go to spend that much time on it, you don't like it? Move on. That was my strike three. There's more podcasts coming. He skates for Girl, and he's been one of my favorite skateboarders of all time. Girl's my favorite company. He's just the best.

He's invented, not invented, but he pioneered so many amazing tricks. He's the king of doing a frontside board side to fakie where you just stare back at the rail, like a big fuck you to the rail after you land it. Amazing nose grinds. One of the first people to point him out. He can skate vert. He can skate anything. And he also hosts, I think, two shows on Vice.

So to me, it shows that somebody who's skateboarding, like their main thing is skateboarding, they can still host a TV show. Street, vert, and park. If it's the right, he can do anything, dude. He's ridiculous. And he's cool. He's just, yeah, he's from Vancouver.

Got a skate shop in Vancouver. Vancouver. The West Coast. Oh, yeah. There we go. I'm bringing it in. BC, baby. Yeah, he's a Vancouver boy.

I want to say Whistler. Where's Whistler? Ontario. Ontario, yeah. Is that the other way? Yes. All right. That's the one where we've taken everyone from say Whistler. Where's Whistler? Ontario. Ontario, yeah. Is that the other way? Yes. Yeah. All right.

That's the one where we've taken over from. Whistler's the one we've been talking about. We're sticking with Vancouver then. I think he goes to Whistler to snowboard, perhaps. Yeah, that's right. That's also a good snowboard. Anyway, yeah, Rick McCrae. Hell yeah, Rick McCrae.

I've got a ton to say about it, but I had to throw skateboarding in there because it's been my whole life. I feel it. Football. Skateboarding. Yeah, football. Skateboarding. Split.

I don't want your life. Skateboarding. Yeah, football. Skateboarding. Splits. I don't want your life. Time for my final pick. I'm tricking Drake. Drake. Wonderful. I thought I was going to get him last. I don't know how it happened. I thought I was going to get him last.

I thought I was going to slide up in there to close the whole shit out. I'm taking Drake. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Of course. Start for the new generation. You won't find a bigger Pusha T fan than me. You know what I mean? You'll find people who like him as much as me, but find a bigger Pusha T fan than me. You know what I mean?

You'll find people who like him as much as me, but I fucking love Pusha T, right? And even, no part of me, even when I was listening to the diss tracks and everything, I was like, when that new Drake album drops, I'm going to listen to it so much. Yeah, man. I can't wait.

Nice For What is so good. Nice For What is so fucking good. The 8 out of 10 is fucking fantastic. Yeah, it's, he did a good job. The new album is good. He just makes songs that are fun to listen to.

He's a pop star more than he is like a hardcore whatever rapper. Drake might be the most popular pick through all these drafts that we've done. Yeah.

He might, I don't know how many appearances he's made, but he's probably been on here like 10 times. We could go look. He does come up a lot. He's probably like whatever songs, but I mean, i'm sure he's been up canadians rappers

children of single moms yeah yeah um uh but he's he's he's uh because his mom is jewish right yeah so he's maternally jewish he's jewish yeah yeah god you get bar mitzvahed in one of his music videos oh yeah hell yeah fucking right it it a lot. It means a lot when a universally accepted cool person is like, I'm Jewish. Yeah. Thank you. The Beastie Boys meant a lot to me as a youth for that very reason. But he's just good. He makes music I want to listen to.

It's fucking fun party music. Sometimes he makes good sad music. Young David Borey. Man, that album. Fresh on the heels of a breakup. That album dropped. Right when Scorpion dropped. The day?

The day of. Come on, Drake. You did that for me. It was like he waited. He makes, you know, he's like somebody who's not afraid to make rap music that women want to listen to. And he also does like corny rap massage in some of the songs. But-

He does everything. Yeah, he does everything. He does it all. He's got all the tools in his belt. Yeah, yeah. pop star he's a pop star he's a pop star he puts a lot of people on he samples a lot of different kinds of music people accuse him of like i don't know you could look at it two ways appropriation maybe but also like when we when people wouldn't have gotten that into dance hall nobody would have have known who Pop Can was. I would have known because that was him on the Pusha T song. Oh, yeah.

But most people wouldn't have known. A lot of this music, grime music, he explored for a while, which isn't good, in my opinion. But he checked it out. Yeah, man. I just like Drake. And he's funny, dude. I think he's hilarious. He's going to be an actor after this.

All said and done. I mean, it was delightful how good he was on SNL. Yeah, no, I think that's the way. I think that's where it's going. He's too good. You don't see him in a rom-com? Come on. Oh, fuck, yes I do.

Slam dunk. But that ruins his career, right? Like music, he has to leave behind music entirely. I think he's on his way out. Yeah. I think that he did it for about as long as he's gonna do. Honestly, who knows? He could be in movies and then make another album, because I'd want to listen to it.

He'd have to go the Will Smith route, I think, where his music would just be kind of corny, and then he'd just stop doing it, right? Yeah, probably. Although he's never... It's not like he's... Well, does he operate on street cred? Not really. I think he won a lot during that first battle.

And then I think he lost. Because he lost the push about it. Yeah. You're talking about that Meek Mill thing? Yeah. I think he won a lot on Meek Mill because he won straight up. Back to back tune? Yeah.

It's insane. Also, hearing that song, you're like, OK. It's there. It's there when it needs to be. Yeah. When he hosted the ESPYs, he did a sketch with Blake Griffin. The Drake versus Blake. It's hilarious. Watch it. If you wantYs he did a sketch with Blake Griffin the Drake versus Blake it's hilarious watch it

if you want proof that he's a funny sketch actor that's one right there I'm not going to watch the ESPYs Guy you watch the ESPYs you're gonna watch the ESPYs you're gonna go home alright I'll watch the ESPYs

you're gonna watch the 1998 ESPY Awards not even the Drake one I'm not gonna watch the ESPYs so that's my final pick. Guy, time for your final pick. I would like to briefly consult with Marissa. Oh, we have a consultation. I love this.

This is a first. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Mike's going to go use the restroom. There's some stuff going on in the room right now. I'm going to try to get my fifth together because I'm having a hard time. Well, we're keeping it running.

I didn't mean to only have one woman on the suit. Oh no. Hey, what do you do? The ones I wanted to take got taken. I'll talk about Rick McCrank a little bit more just because skateboarding is the best thing. Alright, the consultation has ended. The counselor approached the bench. Rick McDank. Very sorry, but I was going

to force you guys to have one more Canadian history lesson. Yes. I went with three great Canadians to the actual Canadian who's here, somebody who went through Canadian sixth grade and could say which of these people meant the most. She selected Mr. Tommy Douglas, a Saskatchewan politician who during the 30s was basically like, hey, what about socialism? Essentially, like the Alexandria Cortez Ocasio of Canada, who then got elected. He was first like a provincial politician, then went to Ottawa, got national health insurance passed only in the process of them trying to figure out if they should have a flag or not.

Not what should our flag be, but like, we probably don't need a flag. And he was like, like as a country, as a country, they did not have a flag. When? 1964. Wow. What? And you're like, Canada doesn't matter that much. They were, I believe the seventh or sixth largest economy on the planet.

No flag. I thought you just kind of got a flag the second you were a nation. Not when you were a chunk of Britain for most of your existence. Wow. So he, with like 15 members of parliament, was like, hey guys, I'll solve this problem for you. Because the conservatives were like, we don't need a flag. We're still England. And the liberals were like, oh, we need a flag.

We're people. Yeah. were like, we don't need a flag. We're still England. And the liberals were like, oh, we need a flag. We're people. And he was like, alright, we'll do a flag but only if you give health insurance to everyone in the country. And they were like, sure. And you're like, yeah, guy. But what does this mean to me, Tommy Douglas, also Kiefer Sutherland's

grandpa. Whoa! Yes. His daughter What does this mean to me? Also Kiefer Sutherland's grandpa. Whoa! What? Yes. His daughter. Whoa! His daughter. What does this mean to me? Also Kiefer Sutherland's grandpa. His daughter married Donald Sutherland.

Oh, that's gnarly. That's amazing. Yeah. Man. Yeah. That is. I'm, as an intellectual, mostly impressed with the socialism stuff, but Kiefer Sutherland's grandpa, dude.

That's like a pop culture person. Yeah. Yeah. Legendary party boy, Kiefer Sutherland. That's amazing. Tommy Douglas. Yeah, dude. Howary party boy, Kiefer Sutherland. That's amazing. Tommy Douglas. Yeah, dude. So that's amazing.

So the bargain was we'll give you a flag, but you have to take health care. So he had started health care in his own province. Yeah. And it was going reasonably well because he started that after the Depression when the Midwestern farm places were doing very poorly. Yeah. There was a big sentiment of socialism. And then he went and was like a member of a minority party in parliament.

But it was tearing the country apart whether they needed a flag or not. Because like. How's the answer not just yeah? Because like they basically felt like the members of the Conservative Party of Canada were like, if we're not a piece of England and France, because what they had before was basically the flag of a British boat. They had like a little, they basically wanted

to keep things very British so that they weren't having to do anything that would like acknowledge the French people, and they thought that a leaf was stupid. They were like, look, we could be part of this grand, thousand year long imperial tradition or have a leaf. And the Liberals were like, look, we could be part of this grand, thousand-year-long imperial tradition or have a leaf. And the liberals were like, we should have a leaf. Yeah. We actually like

the leaf. That's so funny. I don't see a problem with the leaf. I'm over here. Yeah. And in the process got safe, affordable healthcare. No, not perfect for everyone. Yeah. That's magnificent. Damn. David?

Man. David? I got two, and one is like a dude that I know, but one is a dude I think is pretty cool. I want to go Mr. Go hard, dude. Go hard. Yeah.

Go hard or go home. I'm going Mr. Canada, Harry Jerome. He's like one of their major black track stars from the 60s, which all the troubled stuff that comes up with being a track star. Went to University of Oregon. Hell yeah. Yeah. Had a big comeback.

Okay. At one point, he was driving to a meet. Thought he was going to be late for the meet. He was in a traffic jam. Tell me he of the car ran pulled his hamstring but still ran to do it broke some records has a bronze gold medal hell yeah early black athlete they called him mr canada that's yeah that's who i'm picking my only other fallback was the weekend and i just didn't feel like i didn't feel like that was a good way to close it out. I didn't feel like that was strong enough to close it out. Harry Jerome was better.

Yeah, Harry Jerome is what I'm taking. And I learned about that at 3 o'clock this morning, and then I put a star next to it on the list because I was like, I don't know if I'm going to feel that in the morning. I do that with the list. If I'm feeling it right away, I'll put a star next to it just to be like your gut feeling was you like this bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To not second guess yourself. And I like the story. Put a nice little, complete the circle. After retiring from athletics in 1969, he was invited by Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau to help create Canada's new Ministry of Sport. There it is. Nice.

Look at this. We tie it all in. Put a little button on it. Yeah. Excellent. Because sometimes you've got to Google famous black Canadians from the early days. Hell yeah. Yeah. Cause sometimes you got to Google famous black Canadians. How do you think I got Drake famous Jewish Canadians?

I was not aware of him before that. You're texting people. What about this Drake fella? Sorry. I was just going to plug one more time. Really crassly. If you'd like to learn more about Canadian history, there's an entire chapter in my book about Canadian history. Please pick up My Life as a Goddess. It's more interesting than it

sounds like based on what I just said to you. Available in bookstores everywhere. Yes. It sounds amazing. Yeah, I think it sounds great. I'm like a big, I'll read a lot of Chuck Klosterman and this sounds like maybe a much more fun version of Chuck Klosterman. Yeah, that was when I started writing the book, the editor was like, you should read Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist and Chuck Klosterman and try to do something like that. So that was my goal, and I failed, but I failed, let's hope, interestingly. Gloriously, yeah. Sure. Fuck yeah, dude.

Well, what a great draft. Seriously. Just to recap it real quick. Sean, you went first. What a great draft. Seriously. Just to recap it real quick. Sean, you went first.

You took John Candy, Catherine O'Hara, Dr. James Naismith, Rachel McAdams, and Rick McCrank. That's a fun list. That's a nice dinner party. I went second. I took Marissa, Martin Short, James Cameron, Mike Myers, and Drake. Nice. Which is also, if we ever do Draft of Fantasy starting five for a basketball team, also that.

There they go. Exact same list. Guy, you went third. After Fantasy Starting 5 for a basketball team? Also that. There they go. Exact same list. Guy you went third, you took Pierre Trudeau, Sandra Oh, Viola Desmond, Alanis Morissette, and Mr. Tommy Douglas. Damn. Isn't it fun hearing them all at once? David, you went last, and you took Wayne Gretzky, Dan Aykroyd,

Celine Dion, Phil Hartman, and Harry Jerome. Yeah, I stand behind it. Hell yeah. Harry Jerome. That's the ones on the board. Alex Trebek. Alex Trebek. Alex Trebek. I went to junior high school. Alex Trebek. Alex Trebek. How did you?

That was my last. Yeah, whoa. How did you not take Alex Trebek, dude? That was my last pick. I was like, skateboarder or, yeah. This guy. Because I do think he's kind of a smug dickhead. Well, yeah.

That's the whole thing. But I love Jeopardy. But he gave us those public lands. What? What did he do? There's like a chunk of the Hollywood Hills that's like the Trebek forest or something like that. What? What did he do? There's like a chunk of the Hollywood Hills that's like the Trebek like forest or something like that.

And he just bought a huge chunk of land and gave it to Los Angeles. Did he really? What a sweetheart. I didn't know that. No, I had no idea. Trebek going in his pockets

for it. What is a good guy? It's a free podcast. It's free. So if you don't like it, it's free. If you don't like it, just fast forward 15 seconds.

And they're all going to be great jokes. Or don't and fucking listen to some fun stuff. Joni Mitchell. Oh, wow. Brian Adams. I wanted to take Joni Mitchell, but I felt fake because I only know like a handful of songs. I didn't want to be like.

Ty felt about Brian Adams. Don't know how it seemed to go. But you don't know what you got till it's gone. Purple or dust. Put up a parking lot. Keanu Reeves. Keanu. He wasn't born there, though, right?

I thought he was. Is he Canadian? He is Canadian by nationality. I don't think he was born there. Oh, you know, you're right. Am I crazy? Was he born? He was born in Lebanon.

Yeah, Beirut. He was born in Beirut. Good thing I didn't pick him off. Mike just came with some knowledge that ain't nobody going here. Michael J. Fox. Nice. Sure, Michael J. Fox. Leslie Nielsen.

Alexander Graham Bell. Yeah. I don't think he was born there either. I think he was Canadian. He was born in Scotland or something. Yeah. He was born in Scotland. He was like up top on my list. I was going to be. He also was born in Scotland or something. Yeah. He was born in Scotland. He was like up top on my list.

I was going to be. Who else was born in Scotland? Huh? The lead character in Succession. Whose name I can't remember right now. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, Taylor Kitsch is Canadian.

Old Timmy Riggins, Friday Night Lights. Taylor Kitsch is who you're going with. I was just saying, you fucking love him. Timmy Riggins, dude. All day. Fucking Lorne. Steve Nash. Oh, yeah.

Steve Nash. Mikey Malloy saying Steve Nash. Oh, yeah, Steve Nash. Steve Nash. Mikey Malloy saying Steve Nash. Sure. Yeah, but he seems so Canadian. Yeah, if you play for Team Canada, you're Canadian. Nathan Fielder? Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah. Nice. I had Middle Ditch written down in case I needed it. Yeah, if you need to do it. I always come with such a thick list. They run his commercials for Verizon so much during sports that I'm starting to hate him. And it's not his fault. I've been watching a British reality show where people have competitive dinner parties.

But the really fun thing of the way you see your friends, it's called Come Dine With Me. It's the best. But the thing of you see your friends in commercials, but just realizing in other countries, you still see your friends in commercials. Yeah, that's crazy. Wild. That is gnarly. Man. Yeah.

Neil Young. Ah, sure. Ryan Gosling. Some bangers, yeah. Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds. Shania Twain. Shania Twain.

Oh, God, where the fuck was I? Shania. Oh. Shania Twain. Enemy of Brad Pitt.ania. Shania Twain. Enemy of Brad Pitt. Shania Twain. Yep. That's what I hear.

He got a lot of enemies. Whose bed have your boots been under? That's what she'd like to know. Damn. When I was growing up, I thought that song was, boots spin, have your boots spinning under. Like you'd be spinning on your boots from dancing. Because as a kid, it just makes sense.

It makes sense. I was like sure that makes as much sense as anything else. Amazing draft. Guy thank you so much for joining us. Again make sure you go pick up my life. I'm holding it up like we're on a late night show. Go pick up my life as a goddess. Watch the talk show

the game show. Seek that out fucking watch that shit you please send us your yeah get those lists on Twitter shout out to everyone

on Twitter Instagram shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit hit us up at at AFE pod on Twitter please do email us

hit up the email any suggestions you got podcast at gmail.com shout out to Frankie Ocean dude Frankie Ocean all day shout out to Sid the Dude shout out to the real ocean where I'll be watching whales yeah shout out to Frankie Ocean dude Frankie Ocean all day shout out to Sid the Dude shout out to the real ocean where I'll be watching whales

yeah shout out to the real ocean tomorrow a week ago shout out to Danny Ocean Billy Ocean yeah shout out to Oceans 8 bro yeah Oceans 8

shout out to James Corden dude shout out to Alan Rickman I bet there's a cologne called Ocean somewhere shout out to that absolutely yeah I'm gonna get some Ocean

shout out to OSHA shout out to Billy Ocean dude I already recovered that, yeah. I'm going to get some ocean. Shout out to OSHA. Shout out to Billy Ocean, dude. I already recovered that. Oh, you did? I just wanted to recover it, dude. Chewed in, bro. Massive. In it.

But more importantly than all that, I think, and I think you'll agree, is tune in again next. Oh, wait. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Oh, my God. That's like when my plane almost landed in Vegas and they pulled the back of my car. Man, every time I think about that, I get scared. I almost barfed.

Almost barfed. I want to shout out to Lizzie. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you for that. We're not going to say what you sent us. No. But you know what you sent us in the care package.

I will say if you show up at the High Plains Comedy Festival, you will see it. We're going to be wearing them on stage. On the body. You'll see a picture. Oh, yeah. So shout out to you, Lizzie. Thank you very much for that. And the only thing more important than that is tune in again

next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything Chicago City bang that was a hate gun podcast