All Fantasy Everything - Comfort Food (w/ Saint Sue Karmel, David Gborie, & Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

The boys welcome a Saint! Sue Karmel joins the podcast for a full episode to draft comfort foods.See the image of a young Ian Karmel printed on a box of Wheeties here: twitter.com/AllFantasyP...od/status/1308958019053481984Episode Guest:Saint Sue Karmel @rnskook IG: @suekarmelSponsors:Feals: Become a member and get 50% off your first order with free shipping at feals.com/allfantasy.MyBookie: Use promo code ALLFANTASY and double your first deposit.Hawthorne: Go to Hawthorne.co and use promo code ALLFANTASY for 10% off your first purchase.Manscaped: Get 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code ALLFANTASY.Support the Show:Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some merch at teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comAdvertise on All Fantasy Everything with Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all fantasy everything. The podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the entire world. Anything the imagination can conjure. From condiments to songs to get a dance floor going at a wedding. On today's episode, we'll be drafting comfort foods with St. Sue Carmel. Someone who knows a thing or two about comfort foods. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me as always are my friends, David Borey and Sean Jordan.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Let's get to the podcast, shall we? Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where David talked a little bit while I said welcome, and we're leaving it in because it's that kind of terroir. It's that kind of... Yeah. It's that kind of... T-words. It's the knots in the wood grain finish that let you know that it's a real tree and not some particle board bullshit. You know?
Starting point is 00:01:14 Are we doing T-words? Is that what I heard? T-words. Is that what I heard? T-words? You guys want to hear something you probably didn't know? Do it. Tsunami starts with a T.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Wow. All right, Sean. That'll blow it. i just want to let everyone in the room that i'm in wow can you can you spell it t-s-u-n-a-m-i that's the guy right there here you go david how do you spell um how do you oh what's you can't even figure the word to tell me how do you spell how do you spell Hanukkah how do you spell Hanukkah you jerk h-a-u-n-a-k-k-a-h why don't you do me a favor and go outside for a little bit huh here's the issue with that Sean I would love to have your back on this mom you can back me up on this there are many spellings of Hanukkah there are several spellings exactly oh well did David get any one of the many?
Starting point is 00:02:06 But not that one, David. That one wasn't one of them. Wait. You got it wrong like six times. The H was right. Let me retry. C-H-A-N-U-K-K-A-H. Is there one N or two N?
Starting point is 00:02:24 I think that might be right. I couldn't tell you off top. Why did I? All right. Tasty. I got another spelling for you. F-U-C-K-O-F-F-S-E-A-N-J-O-R-D-A-N. Exclamation point.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Exclamation point. Black guy surfing emoji. How about that? That was right david c-h-a-n-u-k-a-h was right yeah i just watched an hour of fiddler on the roof don't mean to brag that's the best part the first hour first of all can i say i've been saving this for the podcast i was going to text you but i wanted to say it on the podcast. You fucking nailed that dance. I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:03:09 I didn't know that because I had never seen it. I was always like, oh, that's an approximation. Like when people do like a dance from a music video, they know. No, you did the Tevye dance. Like you did that thing. I'm telling you. Good. I could see it.
Starting point is 00:03:24 First of all, thank you. First of all, thank you. First of all, thank you. Second of all, man, I'm telling you, and Hollywood better be listening, I'm ready to play Tevye. I'm ready to play the- I'll call him. I'm ready to do the adventures of young Tevye. I'm ready to do Tevye in space. Fiddler.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Ooh, young Tevye. Fiddle on the- You should just redo- You should redo all the Shaft movies with Tevye. Tevye in Africa. Juiceploitation movies. Why are we doing Juiceploitation? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:54 I don't know. Sweet Tevye's badass song. There's so many options. Tevye. Oi, would you keep it down? I'm just talking about Tevye caviar oh let's find them they say he's a bad drail drait i don't know what you would say for that but you know you're mouth we're pitching you know what i mean you got you you'll put it to paper yeah yeah it's a whiteboard thing it's a whiteboard there's no bad ideas right now
Starting point is 00:04:23 yeah that's how it goes. I like it. Just at the top of this, we usually save it for the end, but I want to give a shout out to super producer Marissa Melnick for walking us through just about six years worth of technical difficulties. I have to say, I'm real proud of this one. I'm real proud that we put this together. Marissa put this thing together. I mean, this is a full MacGyver job.
Starting point is 00:04:46 This is amazing. Oh, for sure. For sure. You guys are listening to duct tape and glue. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:53 I had the idea to have... My mom is visiting me right now. Ma, you can talk more. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:05:01 She is confirmed. I am here. She's visiting, and i had the idea to have saints to carmel on the podcast because of course we were going to and then that was like last night and marissa was like all you need is a headphone splitter and i was like great we can do that and then best buy has still not because you can't go into best buy yet so they're just like i did the curbside pickup and they've still it's still not because you can't go into best buy yet so they're just like i did the curbside pickup and they've still it's still not ready i ordered it last night they've been open for three hours what's the deal best buy uh this is an anti-shout out to them so my mom and i are basically on soup cans with strings attached to them right now she's running it on one on like that old eye that iMac that like Sean had behind her
Starting point is 00:05:46 I'm on uh I'm on a Sega Genesis like it's and Marissa made it all work so always shout out to you but a special shout out to you on this one the best producer in the business there's not except no substitutes except no substitutes this will be a case study I share with other audio engineers of like look look, I figured this out. This is how I did it. You know what you do? Before you do that, you name your price. All right?
Starting point is 00:06:10 That's right. If you're good at something, never do it for free. The Joker's dad told him that. And I have two Joker posters in here to prove that I have knowledge about the Jokers. That's me that you know there. You don't even have to ask him why he's so serious. That's just known. That's just known.
Starting point is 00:06:22 You want to know how I got these scars? Does anybody, would you care to know? i got these scars does anybody would you care to know i read the book man i don't i already know but i would love to hear you retell it i was at the roller skating rink one time and i ordered uh the biggest pickle that they had in the jar i was like let me get the biggest pickle knowing at the time full well that i had a i had a huge kink or sore on both sides of my mouth and i just oh my god i ate i ate the pickle and it it uh kind of eroded from the inside out and so i had to cut out i had to cut out the kinker swords out of the size of my cheeks and so i just have two giant scars on each cheek now so that's how i got these scars guys i
Starting point is 00:06:58 almost don't want to go back to how you said kanker sword yeah i think do i say kinkers or like i'm gonna go get it printed or something kinkers no you said sword so oh why did i you said canker sword you know last night this is funny last night uh we were waiting to get we were waiting to get laura's car jumped because her battery this better be funny you set it up with this is funny and now the pressure is on yeah well it's not gonna be that funny you see what they do if my mom thinks it's funny we'll see well we otherwise we're cutting that shit out you hear that you hear that say it again ma so far i'm not laughing okay all right get that ipad on you so i can see your face i might have to i might have to call an audible on what i was
Starting point is 00:07:41 gonna say to make you laugh tell a better story there now you're laughing uh this guy pulled up to us on his bicycle this homeless dude and he's like what do you guys need to jump and i was like i got a little flustered because he was right by the car and laura's brother was gonna come jump us but instead of saying her brother is coming i looked at the guy i was like yeah we got a brother coming so i said we have a brother coming it's jewish shaft he's coming yeah it's jewish shaft he returns and after he bites away i was just like i just said we have a brother coming to jump the car what are you doing up there i looked i looked like such an asshole yeah don't worry we got a brother coming bro don't i'm all right your car battery dies you start talking like the rock it's amazing don't worry brother we got a brother
Starting point is 00:08:33 what did he think he was gonna do that's what if i were an asshole i would have said like were you gonna jump it with your bike my friend i don't know what we're what's the what's the goal here would you like some money i don't i don't know i don't know man like you know you set a challenge and see if you can rise to the occasion did he have a saddlebag that looked like it could have one of those independent battery chargers no he didn't okay okay that's fair he didn't that's fair i just had to check yeah thanks for asking sue carmel brought down a huge bag of childhood. Large suitcase. Large suitcase full of childhood memorabilia.
Starting point is 00:09:10 And in it is a custom Wheaties box of your boy. Yo! Hey, Marissa, can you take a screenshot, please? Can you leave it up somewhere? I can take a shot of that. Oh, yeah. Yep. Yep.
Starting point is 00:09:23 That is my famous animal shirt that I've talked about before. The world famous animal shirt. It's the world famous animal shirt. I think you still have it. Don't we still have it? It's somewhere. Yeah, I think it's in one of the bins. It could be.
Starting point is 00:09:37 It's there at the Oregonian Smithsonian. Yeah. God, that's tight. That's at a turkey bowl playing football we play every thanksgiving thanksgiving by the way a wonderful time for comfort food which is our topic for today here he goes hit him hit him topic for today joining us on that time on that ride as always sean s jordan on twitter sean cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. You know. I'm seeing a lot of those.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I'm seeing. A lot of those out there. Now, I hate, but I am seeing a lot of those out there. I'm seeing a lot of those. More and more. A lot of those out there. I do have something. I'm doing stand up outside in the parking lot of helium on Sunday, September 27th at 6 p.m.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Are you really? I am. I decided to do it. Is that okay? I think so. Yeah i checked i mean i checked with you guys already but i don't want to seem like an asshole they've done a few it was gonna get done anyways i asked him about masks and distancing you bring your own chairs so everything's disinfected so i'm okay with it i think that's totally okay ask shane about it he'll tell you
Starting point is 00:10:42 yeah yeah he's mad at me boy so shane's mad at you well i you know he told me to fuck off on twitter here's something dank that i'm stoked on shane torres yeah i love him to pieces i always have i always will i will not say a bad word about that man he's been there for me ever since i've met him through thick and thin he's a amazing person buy his album i love him to pieces and come see me do stand up on sunday the 27th if you're in portland i feel like there's another part of this story no he didn't he just i made some snarky tweet and i didn't tag him and ian's like i'm tagging him and then he just put fuck off or no he said go fuck yourself it was one of those that's like
Starting point is 00:11:21 where you're like oh you're serious i'm sorry and so you know i love him to pieces so i want the world to know him and his feet that he keeps putting up there he does he's posting a lot of feet pics my pictures of his feet on twitter on instagram it's weird and he's called yeah yeah why it's a mystery to all of us it's not a good look will you do this will you text him or dm him or something and be like shane why are you calling everyone toe sluts he's i feel like he's trying to like drum up some kind of demand i don't know he makes it sound like people were asking for it he's like here you go you filthy pigs feet yeah yeah his there's no good reason oh no
Starting point is 00:12:10 i will say i don't think he has bad feet they're nice nice enough looking feet he does have some good tootsies on him i'll give you a man it's a man's foot and a man's foot that has that has clocked in putting a day a day's labor, and clocked out. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. That foot is pounding the NYC pavement. These are not the feet of a dilettante. These are not the feet of a debutante.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Go see Sean do stand-up comedy. David Borey is here. Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram. The G is silent on Twitter. Hey, it's me what what have you what do you got going on and anything anything you want to talk about or promote or direct people towards or or uh warn people against shane's feet anything you know just maybe watch out for a video from a show that you like that i wrote and maybe that could come around soon and then uh also i am
Starting point is 00:13:09 doing uh stand up at a drive-in theater so it's like people you don't even leave your car oh on october 3rd in irvine third what what do you mean fine we're both outdoor comedians now all right i've been an outdoor comedian for a while you just didn't know both outdoor comedians now all right i've been an outdoor comedian for a while you just didn't know it i've i've said that i've said that to people you sound more like yeah dude indoor football outdoor comedian that's how i do it oh that's the worst combo you mean your double b team yeah we have to play in the upper upper gym yeah god that gym yeah the whole floor is weird rubber so uh yeah we got to go up there and shoot bow and arrows ask me where i play dude that's an out that's an outdoor football player right there oh that's for sure playing playing in the orange
Starting point is 00:14:01 bowl that's where that cereal goes That's got that special artificial grass with the rubber on it. You guys ever played football on that? I thought that was a pretty good present. Talk right into the microphone. I'll make sure they can hear you. I thought that was a pretty good present to be able to get you a customized Wheaties box.
Starting point is 00:14:17 How old was he in that? I believe David is on a delay. David is on a slight delay. That was a great present, the Wheaties box, Mom. What were you saying about playing football on? I wanted to know how old was a great present the weedies box mom what were you saying about playing football on i wanted to know how old you were on the weedies box 15 maybe might be 15 15 or 16 what let me see this man i it's like you can you're outside of time yeah how what would you have guessed
Starting point is 00:14:42 It's like you're outside of time. Yeah. What would you have guessed? At first, I was like, whoa, that's a manly nine-year-old. But now I see 15. That makes more sense. Do you have sideburns? Although your hair, you shaved your head.
Starting point is 00:14:58 I do have sideburns. I could hear the jealousy through the fucking Zoom call, Sean. I had pretty thick sideburns. That was back when you were like, you don't know. I don't know. I had a cabbie hat, so I had sideburns, you know? I pushed the sideburns hard until the beard came in. That might have been 13 or 14. I had high school football shorts, so I think that might have been freshman year of high had high school football shorts so i think that might
Starting point is 00:15:26 have been freshman year of high school yeah i think 14 15 14 15 yeah are there weedies in that box is that a weird question no no there's no weedies in that box no okay that's something that should be because it's full of grape nuts david come on come on saint sue carmel is here rn skook on twitter rn skook on twitter sue car what is it on instagram i don't know it's also she's on instagram though too you can bet i don't know what i'm on you can bet your ass just my name right sue carmel just straight up sue carmel on instagram showing up her showing off her audi my what okay audi okay oh yeah what do you call it it's the you have a nickname for it no i don't oh you don't i'm not yet oh okay can we nickname it today can we all pitch nicknames i think we should pitch nicknames that would. I think we should pitch nicknames. That would have been a great draft topic.
Starting point is 00:16:29 My last car was the Hoopty. And it was. And I couldn't get rid of it because I drove John Oliver home from the airport in it. That's right. Wait, what? Yeah, I had John Oliver in my car.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Nice. In the Hoopty. Was he nice? In the Hoopty. He's a real down-to-earth dude i was opening for him because i opened for him on the west coast for a while and uh and we're flying into portland from seattle from either seattle and san francisco and i my mom was gonna come pick me up anyway because obviously you know she i'm not gonna fly into portland that's what's gonna happen
Starting point is 00:17:04 yeah i picked her up at lax yesterday i wouldn't pick any of the three of the rest of you up at la because obviously, you know, I'm not going to fly into Portland. That's what's going to happen. Yeah. I picked her up at LAX yesterday. I wouldn't pick any of the three of the rest of you up at LAX. You picked me up once. I would never pick you up. I would never pick you up until the day I die. He'd pick you all up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:15 You picked me up from the airport. I've been in the, the Hoopties picked me up from the airport with two different drivers, so yeah. Yeah, the Hooptie. Yeah, the shimmies. Nah, man. John Oliver was just like, hey, will you drop us off at the hotel and you're we're like yeah hop in yeah i had to use tape and get all the dog fur off the seat and then it shimmied when he got to 50 on the freeway so here we were driving down
Starting point is 00:17:41 the shit have a little shimmy it was it was shaking like me at the Emmys when John Oliver beats us every year. That was embarrassing. But I kept that car because of John Oliver. Did it help the trade-in value? The trade-in value is sitting in my yard.
Starting point is 00:18:03 It's going to become a collector's piece yeah it's going to become a collector's piece we're going to go in there we'll be like no thank you car dealership no thank you car dealership you're going to pay full price for this honda crv that's what you're going to do drum and then and then they're gonna do it yeah that's exactly what it is. I like that show. I mean, I'm just... He's great, man. I do too.
Starting point is 00:18:28 It's a hell of a program. It's so well written, so well presented. Yeah, do you have anything to promote, Ma? No. Nothing coming up? She's got some shifts at the hospital coming up? No, I want to promote my son is selling his first retail lumber today. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:43 At his lumber yard in. The other son. The other son. Robert Bear Blaylock. Robert Bear Blaylock has opened his retail lumber yard. So that's big news. I'll promote him. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I'm going to buy some lumber from him. I just got, my friend Andy sent me some instructions on how to build a grind box for the winter. I'm buying it from Bear. Oh, shit. I'm going to do a business transaction. There you go. Rob.Blaylock on Twitter or on Instagram, I'm in. Rob.Blaylock.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Grind box for the winter. That's your wife, Sean. Thank you. I'll be here. David, I will have... That is the last get out of jail free card, my friend. I hope you had fun with it I did I had a great time
Starting point is 00:19:27 I had a great time I had a weekend I went to a concert I had sex lock me back up I don't give a shit lock me back up how did you do either of those things did you go see the weekend
Starting point is 00:19:42 I saw the weekend I saw Weeknd on a weekday. I'm crazy like that. Also use Fusion Body Works if you need any massage work done in Portland. Oh, in Portland. Fusion Body Works. Which is Jessica Blaylock, my older sister. And then we have to give Aliza something or she'll get jealous. Well, shh.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Everybody come to Aliza's wedding. Now give us the date and time. The new date and time. The third date in time is July 31st. Now 2021. All right. Look out for the already written. Yeah. But back to back to fusion.
Starting point is 00:20:20 It's fusion. PDX dot com. That's right. Jessica Blalock best massage in Portland truly yeah hell yeah
Starting point is 00:20:29 know about it know about it pack NW my name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Twitter at Ian Carmel on Instagram
Starting point is 00:20:37 at Ian Carmel on jewishfusionpdxbodyworks.com whole different whole different scenario though it's not as good as my older sister yeah that's a z if it's weird body works watch the late late show watch the late late show i'm still on there still doing my andy richter thing i had a few days off this week for undisclosed reasons but you know uh well it's because we had a covid scare at work i guess it was actually can you say it was in the news so we
Starting point is 00:21:10 can talk about it it was coordinate coming to contact with someone who thought they had it and then uh that turned out to be a false positive oh that person so like now everybody knows cordon's in a fight club though so that's the one downfall that's the issue he is but they test they do contact tracing at the fight club they take your temperature before you go it's the only time you can talk about fight club is contact tracing it was scary for one day for one day oh i forgot to tell you this yesterday i'll tell you now on the podcast that's what we got on a sidetrack uh there my so like i had a gout outbreak as well uh and i take this medic medication for it called colchicine which
Starting point is 00:21:51 like wipes the gout out of your body it's amazing but it also gives you a fever it can you can register a fever while you're on it and that gives you a fever as well so we and like i had come in contact with cordon we were both masked up we were doing everything right but like he had come into contact with someone who thought they had it false positive he had never tested positive but i had come into contact with him and then like i'm hearing this news while i'm on the on the couch and i'm like my forehead feels a little hot and i went and got my thermometer and i had a hundred degree fever oh like like 100 100.5 and i was like what are you talking about no there's no way and i tested like for but for like an hour and a half i had that
Starting point is 00:22:34 high of a fever i took an advil and i went like laid in bed and then it went down to like 97 whatever it was like it immediately fell back down i didn't have any other symptoms but i was like oh god oh god i got covid from a sketch about dualipa this is great immediately fell back down. I didn't have any other symptoms, but I was like, oh God, oh God, I got COVID from a sketch about Dua Lipa. This is great. But you wouldn't, but with both of you wearing masks, you're,
Starting point is 00:22:55 you're, it's so. Astronomical odds. So slight. We were both wearing masks and he never tested positive. And then I took a grip at tests. I've never tested positive. I think they must a grip of tests. I've never tested positive.
Starting point is 00:23:05 I think they must have tested cordon 150,000 times and negative every time. You know what I mean? Yeah. But yeah, but it was like a dicey 20, well, not even 24 hours. It was a dicey hour. Yeah, but you're used to dicey 24 hour periods. I mean, I know that. They call me Andrew Dicey Clay, man.
Starting point is 00:23:22 I just like to get mixed up in it. Andrew Dice Day, dude me Andrew Dicey Clay, man. I just like to get mixed up in it. Andrew Dice Day, dude. Andrew Dice Day. But watch the Late Late Show. I'm back in the studio now. Corden's soon. And just watch that. Listen to All Fantasy Everything.
Starting point is 00:23:40 And celebrate Elisa Carmel every day. Just keep her in your heart. Every day. Yeah, she's great. what did she take clients for oh she she just started her uh like practicum for her doctorate doctorate yeah so she's working with clients now two days a week at a hospital and then she's also working with other clients independently in Portland. Whole fam snapping. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Yeah, it's amazing. Hell yeah. Now, we are gathered here today not to sing the praises of Elisa Carmel, although it's a worthy endeavor, if there ever was one. We are gathered here to fantasy draft Comfort Foods. Now, the way we determine the order of that draft
Starting point is 00:24:22 is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. I don't know how to is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you and we throw on shoot. I don't know how to play. You know how to play rock, paper, scissors. Nobody's listened to more of this podcast than you. Well, I know, but I don't do the actual thing. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. You know?
Starting point is 00:24:38 Okay. Rock. Okay, so I'm going to call it rock, paper, scissors, shoot. David's on a delay. It's hilarious. He's on a delay. Oh, Sean wins. Sean threw paper. Wait, I'm going to call it. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. David's on a delay. It's hilarious. You're on a delay. Oh, Sean wins. Sean threw a paper.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Wait, I'm on a delay. I'm on a delay. No, but we were being honest. This is Fugazi. We were being honest. This is Fugazi. This is Fugazi. I call shenanigans.
Starting point is 00:24:57 I call shenanigans. I was being honest. All right, all right. No, no. If David's calling shenanigans, if this is a delay- I'm calling shenanigans. For one time and one time only. One, alright. No, no. If David's calling shenanigans, if this is a delay I'm calling shenanigans. For one time and one time only.
Starting point is 00:25:07 One time only. I'm going to guess a number. Okay. That's between one and ten. And then if somebody gets it or whoever comes closest. Sorry, it's going to be between one and twenty. And whoever gets it or comes closest gets to pick. Alright. Sixteen.
Starting point is 00:25:24 We're going to call it guess that number all right here we go 16 now i think david you can't i don't know if you're looking but i think ian's holding his hand down i'm gonna say a double digit number so as to play i'm gonna say 13 are you saying the fix is in what are you saying that's not what i'm saying at all is that what you what are you saying i'll hold up both my hands i heard i heard sean call the whole thing into question the entire process is that what you heard that's not what i said i don't know what i think that sean was calling us cheaters i think he was calling us cheaters that's his guilty cheater's heart for the rock paper scissors scenario no i don't take kindly to being accused projecting i don't want you to take kindly i want you to take sadly so
Starting point is 00:26:11 it's 13 no 13 i did guess 13 david what did you guess 16 from the mountaintops. Sue Carmel? Four. And it was four. All right. All right. Here we go. And it was four. All right. And it was four. The number was four. And to forego the spoils, it was four. All right. The number was four. So.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Although I was going to pick 13. You were going to pick 13? Yeah, I was going to pick 13. That was going to be the number, oddly enough. Yeah, but then I changed my mind. It's hard for me to hold 13 up on my hands so uh all right here we go which means ma you get to pick the order of the draft what will it be okay i want to go first sue carmel's going first sean jordan And then a Sean Jordan. David Borey. David.
Starting point is 00:27:07 And you, my sweet son. Hot corner for the sweet son. Sweet son hot corner. Sweet son hot corner. Which is maybe not where I hang out all the time. The sweet son. I'm always on the hot corner in the sweet son, but it's not always the sweet son hot corner.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Hype Williams presents Hot Corner Sweet Son Jordan. Hell yeah. I like it. I like that.'s your nike collab that's your nike collab right there the hot the hot corner sweet son dude yeah cargo pants gum souls cargo pits these cargo pants are made out of recycled cargo pants and garden hoses bro so they're like very they're viable yeah it's 100 cargo pant material i've heard that the tribes of south dakota use 100 of the cargo pant right that's true you do yeah they love it when we talk about it too it's it's a big thing when they kill a cargo pant they do it by having their attorney general run someone down on the road right you know bill janklo back in the day blew a stop that's not a real name i don't even know stop signs at dicks no he uh he ran a stop sign and killed a guy on a motorcycle and only had to be in jail for like 60 days or some shit not even the first time this
Starting point is 00:28:22 uh this if you want to really say shenanigans has happened in south dakota now boys said oh i thought i hit a deer what bro i done i done hit a deer you know what you hit oh i it's astonishing well he was blackout drunk is the thing i know i guess if you're in a k if you're that deep in a k hole it doesn't really matter what you hit you hit a good time is this the one just happened? This is the one in South Dakota, yeah. It just happened, yeah. Not a lot of good press for my home state these days, St. Sue. No. Well, with the biker rallies and our governor being in bed with the devil,
Starting point is 00:28:55 it's a tough time for South Dakota. I'm having trouble finding shirts to wear because they all say South Dakota on them, and I can't be presenting that to the world. No, you do. You need to. You need to present the softer side of South Dakota on them and I can't be presenting that to the world you know you do you need to you need to present the the uh the softer side of South Dakota okay I'm not doing it with my long hair I think you do I mean you look like Eddie Vedder you should you're wearing an Eddie Vedder sweater you should be Eddie Sweater dude you're wearing an Eddie Sweater you're starting to look
Starting point is 00:29:18 a little bit like Eddie Vedder I like this direction for you I'm never gonna get sick of hearing that holy shit that's sing sing say jeremy's broken but like you know put some better on it well it's jeremy spoke in class today but so i'll sing the right lyrics if that's cool whatever man jeremy's spoken class today i like i like i loved it i like put it on a ringtone sam elliott o playing these Sam Elliott Oregon commercials right now, Ian. I wish you were here so you could hear them, but it's tight. Oregon, it's where to visit. Is that what?
Starting point is 00:29:53 Sue Carmelo went to the same high school as old Sammy Elliott. Yep, yep, yep. David Douglas High School. Whoop, whoop. He was older. Family. Shout out to the fighting David Douglas. The the fighting david douglas the fighting pregnant teens scotsman makes sense scotsman just say just say fried like you were gonna say in whatever
Starting point is 00:30:12 shout out to the fried i was gonna say the fighting pregnant teens but scotsman makes way more sense every high school's got their share of pregnant teens you know yeah a couple in middle school if you can if now you guys tell me what kind of environment this sounds like. If we had pregnant teens in middle school, what does that sound like to you, David? Listen, man, you're going to force me into this corner, right, where I have to say some shit. I mean, it sounds like, you know, it was mostly white, right? Yep, yep, yep. A lot of white kids.
Starting point is 00:30:43 One of the white kids had a mustache and a car in middle school what do you think about that well yeah wait what he had a mustache and a car in middle school what are you what the fuck is going on out there i went to high school with a professional was out of middle school that guy was not in middle school for the listeners i'm holding up the Wheaties box you'll you'll have the reference image by this point not yet middle school not a girl not yet a woman sometimes there was a man who drove to middle school they allowed that white ghetto by the way yeah thanks for nothing david that Illegal. Uh, now we have the order of the draft, which means Sue Carmel, you're on the clock and we will get to your pick right after this
Starting point is 00:31:30 short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me.
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Starting point is 00:34:00 quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country. You figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right? You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two Damon movies. I'm out here. Obviously, you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because everyone in the world knows new languages. They know multiple languages, and we all only know one. Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to help you the quickest way possible. You speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel. It's a science-backed language learning app, and it's going to get you talking fast. They had science-backed. What else do you want?
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Starting point is 00:36:27 Rules and restrictions may apply. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. Might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before,
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Starting point is 00:37:43 It just comes in a nice little box and it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code all fantasy at schedule 35.co that's 15 off at schedule 35.co and use promo code all fantasy yeah we're back welcome back to all fantasy everything the only podcast that has ever existed that's right it's that short of a break mom it's a real break but it's that short of a break it's the first time
Starting point is 00:38:22 seeing it in person it's a shock to anyone it's a shock to anyone now it's that short of a break. It's the first time seeing it in person. It's a shock to anyone. It's a shock to anyone. Now, there's going to be a way the draft works, I think. What? The kind of draft we're doing. Oh, snap. We glossed right over the serpentine draft before she picked the order, didn't we? If David ever understood it, we wouldn't even have to explain it every time. So I'm fine to just gloss over it if you want.
Starting point is 00:38:41 If we think David actually... I'm the fucking idiot. If we think David finally gets it, then I'm fine to skip the explanation. No you want if we think actually i'm the fucking idiot if we think david finally gets it then i'm fine to skip the explanation no we can let's do it like no sean no sean let's do it why don't you fucking tell me what a serpentine is why don't you tell me right now yeah and what is that that's a great question it's kind of like the word race car so if you spell race car r-a-s-e-C-A-R, and then you spell it backwards. Are you serious?
Starting point is 00:39:09 Wait a minute. A-C-E-C-A-R. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? Dog. No. If you spell the word race car. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:39:19 No, no, no. You get to the R at the end. Fuck you, Sean. And then you spell it backwards. Fuck you. Don't do this. It still spells race car. I'm not going to let you run over this. I'm not going to let R at the end. And then you spell it backwards. Fuck you, don't do this. It still spells race car. I'm not going to let you run over this.
Starting point is 00:39:27 I'm not going to let you run over this. Yo, my man spelled race car with an S. You heard it. You heard it. Did I say S? You heard it. You said S. You said R-A-S-E.
Starting point is 00:39:37 I did not. Yes, you did. Did I really? Sean, I swear on everything I love, you spelled race car with an S. Just so we're clear. And that's coming from me. I love, you spelled race car with the S. Just so we're clear, I know how to spell race car. I don't think you do. R-A-S-Q-S-A-R. R-A-S-Q-S-A-R.
Starting point is 00:39:54 And then if you spell it backwards, it's R-A-S-Q-S-A-R. It could have been a proper noun. It could have been someone's name. It was that guy with the mustache. His name was race car with an S and a Q. R-A-S-Q-S-A-R. R-A-S-Q-S-A-R. Raskus car.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Oh my god. R-A-S-Q-S-A-R. Oh no. Just trying to kick push your way through that one. Oh, my God. You get it, David? I don't think I'm the one who needs to worry about getting it. Basically, Ma, what it means is you pick fourth in the first round.
Starting point is 00:40:36 You pick first in the second round. Now, with that in mind, you've already determined the draft. I think we'll maintain the same order. Yeah, let's maintain order, David, while we're at it. Let's try to maintain some order. Let's maintain order. O-C-D-E-R-S-B. Order.
Starting point is 00:40:58 I have sweatpants on. Yeah, it's because you're sweating. Oh, man. All right, there are there are so many comfort foods on the board what will be the first comfort food that you choose the first comfort food that i'm going to choose was one that jessica blaylock fusion pdx oldest sister of mine rob bear blaylock, Fusion PDX. Older sister of mine. And Rob Bear Blaylock. Chairman of the board. Chairman of the board. And I agree on, which is spaghetti with meat sauce.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Oh, no! Oh, yeah, that's great. That's great. That's great. It's heavy meat sauce. You have the best meat sauce recipe in the game. Yeah, thank you. Stop talking over my mother. I didn't mean to.
Starting point is 00:41:45 It was a compliment, so is talking over with a compliment. Yeah, that's fine. Keep going, Ma. Keep talking about the meat sauce. Anyway, the meat sauce that you simmer on your stove all day and then pour it
Starting point is 00:42:02 on the spaghetti. Pour lots of Parmesan cheese. Lots of Parmesan. Oh, yeah. Now, are we talking the canned Parmesan or are we shaving Parmesan on there? No canned. No canned. That's cardboard.
Starting point is 00:42:12 That's right. No, real Parmesan. And then you pour a great big glass of red wine and have crispy hot bread. Crispy hot bread. Crusty hot bread. Yeah. That's comfort food. Garlic.
Starting point is 00:42:24 A little garlic soul child bread. Oh, lots of garlic. Delicious. Lots and lots. Crispy hot bread and crunchy hot bread are those twins that Sean went to middle school with. Those are those twins in G.I. Joe. One of them has a scar on their face. Sean, now compliment
Starting point is 00:42:42 my mother. Best meat sauce recipe in the game by the way I've had it second hand I don't know if I've had yours I've had Ian's version of it I made it she wrote the she wrote the ingredients down in Portland Palate a great cookbook by the way
Starting point is 00:42:56 and a seminal cookbook in our home and I did the best I could no it's exactly that although it's been said by some daughter-in-law of mine when she made my sauce that I left something
Starting point is 00:43:11 out of the recipe. Oh, oh, classic knuckle sandwich. I told her that she left out a mama's love. There it is. When she made it. Damn. Yep. Yeah, that's's it a lot of people are like what what happened to wrap beef and it's alive and well in the in the in the spaghetti
Starting point is 00:43:31 sauce community when i've always known i think he put in he put in too much mama's love i was gonna sizzle heavy on the mama's love when ian made it yeah yeah yeah yeah never too much there's such thing yeah it's like extra bacon just eat it oh yeah it's so it's so good what is this what's the secret in there there's two different kinds of meat by the way that's part of it yeah that's part of it ground pork let me guess let me get beef okay that's what i was gonna guess well it's how i Well, sometimes I use Italian sausage in it. I think I did that. I think you do a loose Italian sausage and you cook it for hours and hours and hours and hours. Yeah, you have to cook it down for hours so it gets thick and rich.
Starting point is 00:44:16 It is so good. There were times like we'd have big pots of it in the fridge and I would just go, knock, like on nothing, nothing under it. I just eat it like it's soup. Oh man. Just cold sauce. Cold sauce. I love it.
Starting point is 00:44:31 I love it. Maybe a couple of times after we left the roost, uh, not, not as full as we wanted to be from the chicken wings. Maybe we got back and ate that like a community soup. I love community soup. I do too. I'll say it. I'll save it for the podcast or for the draft we were gathered over like a bunch of hobos in the 1930s that's how i want to eat with my
Starting point is 00:44:57 friends just give me some bread for dipping and a whole pot of i i like it i like community eating it's so good with bread for dipping. We had a couple meatballs. Oh, wait, that's different. But we had a couple meatballs last night. Oh, yeah. Not as good, but decent. Shout out to Al Aqua in Atwater Village.
Starting point is 00:45:13 My home neighbor. They were great. Yeah. I'm going to call it, is it the Benner recipe? Is that what we're going to call it? It was my mother's recipe. It was Grandma Barb's recipe. The Grandma Barb makes you rest in power spaghetti sauce recipe. Delicious.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Sean Jordan, time for your first pick on the Comfort Food Draft. It was going to get taken and tell me if this is too wide a net, but chicken wings. I don't think that's too wide a net at all. I think that's pretty specific. It's pretty. All right. I just didn't. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:43 I mean, wings, obviously. that's my go-to i don't know probably in the last 10 years that's been the go-to comfort food whether it be from a hangover or from a celebration or you know just for chilling watching a basketball game they oh yeah it's at every occasion i want to be comfortable in a wedding oh yeah for those of you i guess we should define the terms right now although i think it's pretty evident comfort food in case anyone doesn't know is like maybe you know it's rainy out you know or like you're a little hungover you're celebrating your do you just want a straight chill you know i think it's less celebrating and i think more like although maybe that maybe that counts maybe you've been like hit with some bummers although it's you know if that's your definition of comfort food then it totally counts yeah it's uh so you've had a bad day like
Starting point is 00:46:29 you know and you want the chicken wings some spaghetti sauce those guys want to fight but you try to say good night well i'd see you open that tackle box well listen that's a fun one i said good night for us if we're i mean if we're being it's also i wanted to fight i i'm those gentlemen my friend wants to fight i'll be saying good night for the both of us and then we'll go to our porch and talk about it. I said goodnight several times to them. Several guys. Several times. You sent them some goodnight drinks.
Starting point is 00:47:10 It took forever. You know about this story, right? We've told on the podcast. When David stole the chicken wing and then we almost got in a fight. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then when we got back home, David was so... You were like, I had him, right?
Starting point is 00:47:23 You were like, I could have taken him. And I was like, yeah. Yeah you were like i could have taken him and i was like yeah yeah man you could have taken him that would it would have been but it wouldn't be nearly as great of a story if it was just a fight they would have just been like oh last night was kind of a bummer it would have been these pricks yeah we would have because we had a few more folks there but i think they had a little more experience under their belt from the vibe we had us malloy harper was there harper we like but they were five they were burly dudes they were burly five of them i thought there were three of them no there were like four or five of them they were burlington coat factory too i must have looked so weak to where they were like
Starting point is 00:48:02 all right it's not an even five so we'll let them go I don't know I think I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like I have a clean assessment of the situation I don't know why all of a sudden I was drinking holy water all night so I'm just remembering crystal clear I'm not gonna pretend like
Starting point is 00:48:20 I weighed it out well I remember it fairly clearly I was not that to pretend like I weighed it out well. I remember it fairly clearly. I was not that. I was for some reason not taking my alcohol that night. Phoebe was there. She could have thrown down with us. I feel like Phoebe would fight. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:48:38 Yeah, she's got that dog, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a dog. You automatically win. Chicken wings are great, man. Now, you're a boneless man. In this situation, in this situation,
Starting point is 00:48:51 I'm drafting. Please tell the orange chicken story, Sean. Yeah, dude. In this situation, as a comfort food, I'm going to draft bone-in chicken wings, but I am a boneless man. Buffalo Wild Wings has three new flavors. I was texting Ian and David.
Starting point is 00:49:04 I was like, they got orange chicken Buffalo wings. And David hits me with like maybe the truest knowledge I've ever got. He goes, if it doesn't have bone in it, that's just orange chicken. I was like, dude, didn't even think about it like that. So essentially, I just didn't want you to get shaked, shipped out. You paid B-dub prices for Panda Express chicken. I did. That's to get shipped out. You paid B-dub prices for Panda Express chicken. I did. That's exactly what I did.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Does it taste like Panda Express orange chicken? Panda Express is much better. But I'll tell you this. You want to hear what I found out about the queen? And I almost walked home. She's not a fan of Panda Express. She's not a fan of the panda. Wait, like on the whole?
Starting point is 00:49:44 I don't understand what you're saying. As a whole. I guess I hear you talking, but it's not a fan of the panda and i wait like on the whole i don't understand what you're saying as a whole i guess i hear you talking but it's not yeah i didn't get it either yeah i'm sorry say what you said again to me i had to pull over and put more minutes on my jitterbug because i didn't quite understand what she said either i was like text it to me so i can read it and yeah express is delicious it's not a fan of the panda man it's not good for you. She's not a fan of the Panda, man. It's not good food, but it's good. None of this is going to be, well, except for everything Sue picks, but none of our picks are going to be good food. Has she gone through the menu, though?
Starting point is 00:50:14 Has she given it like a real, did she give it the old college? I mean, we walk through the drive-thru all the time, so I don't see what's not to like. You know, like once a week. Wait, she gets it once a week just because she loves you? She doesn't like the food at all? No, that was a bit. I said we walked through the drive-thru trying to make myself sound trashy
Starting point is 00:50:30 and thought maybe somebody would laugh at it, but nobody did, so. Maybe I won't do stand-up next week. Maybe spell it for us. Yeah. Yeah. Chicken wings, chicken wings David Borek, don't be your first pick
Starting point is 00:50:48 Okay, tell me if this is Too broad You can't pick a ball pit It's not ball pit Listen, race car You got your own issues I guess you can draft someone else's chicken wings for your comfort food Don't worry about
Starting point is 00:51:03 I didn't eat those. Mine were ones that I bought myself. Yeah. That was the whole fight. I didn't eat them. That was the whole fight. I didn't eat them. Nuh-uh.
Starting point is 00:51:19 I'm taking, this is a very specific memory for me so many times. this is a very specific memory for me so many times it's like let's say it's like january 2nd i'm in my socks january i got a full day i got a full day of bowl games ahead i pop upstairs into the fridge bam christmas leftovers and i just go hammer sure christmas leftovers is my... Because it's like there's so many moves. You can make a sandwich. You make a plate. I'm out here.
Starting point is 00:51:51 Sometimes I'm just going in. I dip in. My mom used to make this mashed sweet potatoes with cinnamon and brown sugar on top. Sometimes I just do that in the cranberry sauce. I just do a bowl of that sometimes all kinds of shit i've never i i'm scarcely a day of cranberry sauce person and i have never been a getting down on cranberry sauce mixed with savory stuff later person never sue carmel the mashed sweet potatoes it's mashed sweet potato so it's not savory it's like it tastes like dessert it's like it's not
Starting point is 00:52:26 savory oh i just don't yeah i mean i'm not a i'm just not a cranberry person i'm just not a cranberry person i understand i understand you hate shane i get it i hate shane torres i hate the i hate shane torre i love shane i'm not like sean dragging him through the mud on twitter no shane's dank and i'm stoked on him all day that's's true. It's the official. He's got the official. He's the dank and I'm stoked on it of the week. I'm going to start doing it every week. I'm going to do one every week. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:52:50 I love that. Let's do it. Do you think Christmas leftovers is okay? Or do you think that's too broad? It's pretty broad, but I think whatever David says is okay. Oh, what? I love it.
Starting point is 00:53:04 I love you. Thank you love it. I love you. Thank you so much. I love you too. And it's a good vibe. Christmas leftovers are truly a comfort food. I love it. I love it. Thank you for letting me be me.
Starting point is 00:53:20 It is a good vibe. We would never want you to be anything else. That's right. That's why you're the saint. I would want you to be the pope, but that's just a personal thing that I don't have the time to get into right now. Yeah, listen.
Starting point is 00:53:34 You guys thought young pope was hot. Wait until you get a load of thick, rich pope. I'd like you to be a little higher up in the decision-making chain at Fila, but that's neither here nor there, I guess. That's true. I like a green-colored shoe. Brother, you, me, and 100 emails feels the same exact way.
Starting point is 00:53:54 I'll tell you that. Been beaten down that door. If anybody here is at Fila, you know, Kenny DeForest, Rob Hayes, I know you guys did that commercial. Let me in. I got some ideas. You hear him knocking? Dude, I just want to head up the bucket hat development division.
Starting point is 00:54:13 That's all. I just want to be on the Zoom. I just want to be on the Zoom when you're talking about the bucket hats. Right. I got some ideas. I get these ideas. I get these ideas, man. It's like I see this bucket hat and it's lights.
Starting point is 00:54:30 It's like me on the court with a bucket hat playing in a league game, wearing the bucket hat during league play. I'm wearing a bucket hat and I'm eating fried shrimp out of the same bucket hat. I can't just talk it out i have to show you yeah that's the dual purpose that's from our summer line i need a budget for that though i need a budget for that all right it's a bucket i mean it's like you let kanye do whatever he wanted with the yeezys give me my bucket hat give me my edible bucket hat yeah i found a wave cap of yours in some of my stuff the other day, by the way. It's a fun setting.
Starting point is 00:55:16 I was unpacking and I was like, what is this? Wavy for the summer. I don't remember this. Or wavy for the winter. Wavy by winter. did you try it on i did you can try it on yeah yeah yeah yeah i look like i look like a bedouin when i put it on one of the clutchest things about christmas morning leftovers for me is like you'll go to the fridge and they'll be like ham or some kind of meat but a lot oftentimes
Starting point is 00:55:59 ham you'll have a roll now that's that's enough on its own but then there's mayonnaise but in the squirt bottle oh my god i love making the sandwich like sandwich sandwich toppings but then holiday leftover middles oh oh yeah so good and the mayonnaise in the squirt bottle is so pivotal to me because i don't want to take the mayonnaise out of the fridge. I don't want to get a knife. You know what I mean? No. I don't want to get that like into it.
Starting point is 00:56:29 I just want to do it like I'm putting on perfume just to dab. Just to dab. I don't want to have to close the fridge just that much. Yep. Now I'm downstairs watching Texas A&M. Holiday leftovers. That's my my pick i feel good about it excellent and your next pick oh wait no my pick i'm the hot corner i'm mopping out of this one uh i don't like food i don't like it i'm off food now i'm on a no food diet uh i'm going to go back to to the the the the continent i'm going back to europe i'm going back to italy okay i have to take
Starting point is 00:57:18 it's honestly integrating one of the same ingredients as as my mother's and the apple doesn't far too fall too far from the tree and the lasagna doesn't make it that far out of the same ingredients as my mother's. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, and the lasagna doesn't make it that far out of the oven before I'm hovering over it. I'm taking lasagna. The 25-pound lasagna. The 25-pound lasagna. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:35 What? It's hefty. Yeah. What? No, I actually made one for my older son's birthday, and it weighed about 25 pounds. Because it was for like 18 people. What kind of dish do you make that in?
Starting point is 00:57:52 I'm just, logistics is what I'm worried about here. If it was a dog, like there's a lot of hotels that wouldn't let you bring it. It's that big of a lasagna. You couldn't rent in Valley Village with that lasagna. No way. Not without a special deposit. That's a special deposit lasagna. Now the architect is right here.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Do you want to talk us through the lasagna? Oh, the lasagna. Well, you make the meat sauce all day first. So that's heavy. And then you pour that in the bottom of a pan. You layer a layer of crunchy lasagna noodles. You don't have to cook them first and then you smear that with ricotta cheese that's mixed with eggs and parmesan fresh parmesan
Starting point is 00:58:32 and then you sprinkle fresh mozzarella over the top of that and then you start over and then you do that about three times and then you cover it with mozzarella and then you do that about three times. And then you cover it with mozzarella. And then you bake it. It's like making a samurai sword. You just keep folding it, hammering, folding, hammering, folding. I would say you forge that lasagna. You don't make it. You forge it. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever been mad about having lasagna.
Starting point is 00:59:01 No. Even bad lasagna is good lasagna. And this is not bad lasagna, my friend. I tell you that it's like no i didn't think so i think i can't get it at restaurants now i i will but like when i do i'm just like who the hell do you think you are i get mad hey hey let me get back let me go back let me talk to somebody you're not my mom i get i get like yeah you gotta put some work into your lasagna architecture yep put it on my tombstone people think it's a culinary thing it's architectural i think i sent a frozen one down in your suitcase one time you did my bag was heavy i had to pay extra for it
Starting point is 00:59:40 it was well it was well worth it when you remember that's in the freezer and you pop it out seven hours of cooking later it's ready to go you gotta get through it because it's thick you gotta cook it a long time it's so good oh the top of it oh when it's like bubbling a little bit something maybe the ends are a little bit burnt it's like a hug it's i'll scrape that off the side for days i'll put it on like it's like it's chips on i'll just scrape the crunchy shit off the sides right fantastic and never and never pay more for the soft lasagna noodles they they say to uh you can buy the ones you don't have to pre-cook you don't have to pre-cook any of them no you layer them dry because the sauce cooks the lasagna noodles okay then they get overcooked if you do it the
Starting point is 01:00:26 other way yeah well it's also stupid because it's like twice as much money that's how they get you hit them it's a scam oh they get overcooked well it's also stupid so no let's go with big lasagna i've i've had some i'm gonna take shots for years oh i'm big lasagna first of all let's not go anywhere to Big Lasagna. Why did they call him Big Lasagna, Mom? Yeah, you know. Yeah, I like the little lasagna. Time for my second pick.
Starting point is 01:01:04 My second pick. Now I'm going to go from one of the branches of my family pick now I'm going to go from one of the branches of my family tree I'm going to swing right over to the other and I have to take a thing my dad takes me to all the time I'm going to take dim sum is that too broad Marissa you're the other dim sum head in here you weigh in I don't think that's
Starting point is 01:01:20 too broad okay that's a good pick I wasn't going to pick it I was going to pick shumai but fuck me we're all thinking of david fuck you go ahead yeah specifically listen don't let me don't make me get in my race car drive up there and kick your ass all right r-a-s-q-s-a-r R-A-S-Q-S-A-R. R-A-S-Q-S-A-R. It's race czar.
Starting point is 01:01:46 It's the race czar. The race czar. That's a whole different person. Now, you dim some, you lose some, but this time I won one. Specifically, the shumai is my favorite. Soup dumplings. I don't, like, the bao is not my favorite. uh my favorite i love it i love bao don't get me wrong it's just it takes up a lot of room and i'm in here trying to tetris as much shumai into my
Starting point is 01:02:11 stomach as i can uh i understand i i just love getting like the chili the chili sauce just like especially if you're taking someone who's never had dim sum before and like they're like looking at you like you need that much chili sauce and i'm like this is round one yeah this is not even i don't even know that table's chili sauce i will need that table's chili sauce look at me this is round one bro all right i'm gonna need more chilies i have some in my bag right now you don't know that it's so good i just i just love it all so much i love the way like the trolley comes up and you can like get more of it if you want i just oh the little it all so much i love the way like the trolley comes up and you can like get more of it if you want i just oh the little they're just a little bite-sized it's just so
Starting point is 01:02:50 comforting and warm and and like everything i want out of a comfort food it it really feels like it feels like a hug it's so delicious because you want your comfort foods to be like roasted meats and breads yes you know what i mean i'm like good you want your comfort foods to be like roasted meats and breads. Yes. You know what I mean? And like good sauces and shit. Cooked for a long time. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:13 That like heats you up a little bit, you know? It's like a big blanket for your stomach, you know? It's also great when you're hungover. The lasagna is great when you're hungover too, but you're often getting drunk while you eat the lasagna. I'm never getting drunk while I eat the dim sum. In a perfect world sum in a perfect world you got a nice Barolo also in Chinese
Starting point is 01:03:30 dim sum kind of translates to little heart so they're like little desserts or like little comfort pieces that's perfect little pieces of hearts little pieces of hearts that's what it feels like too until I have a pounding sodium headache like an hour after but that's my fault i should have been
Starting point is 01:03:51 drinking more water while i was eating all this dim sum and really it's more the sauce anything else it's so it's just so delicious it's like my favorite thing that it's but like fire on the mountain and then if i can get dim sum while i'm in portland although it's just as good if not better at certain places in la but i would never say that i would never say that on a podcast uh so dim sum is my second pick david time for your second pick my second pick is this one is good it's very personal like it's just my mom used to make this all the time growing up it makes me think of like coming home like after football practice or some shit and like being like oh shit mom made pineapple upside down cake that's the pick i love it i love it yeah i love it so
Starting point is 01:04:42 much my mom does i don't know what it is that she does with like the brown sugar melted on top and the cherries and the pineapple a big fucking corner piece because i don't like cake with frosting very much like it's just like that's not really my wave and i think she knew that i like to think she knew that and that's why she made it so much. But, like, man, I will fuck up a pineapple upside-down cake. I love it so much. What is a pineapple? What goes into a pineapple upside-down cake? We weren't really eating pineapple upside-down cakes.
Starting point is 01:05:14 No, I never made one. It's basically, like, she lines the bottom of the baking dish with, like, pineapple rings and then cherries in the middle of the pineapple rings. And then, uh, like brown sugar butter kind of mixture over that. And then she pours the cake batter all over that.
Starting point is 01:05:34 And then she cooks it. And then when it comes out of the oven, you flip it upside down. So the pineapples and the brown sugar kind of crumblings are on top. And then that's how you eat it. That shit, man. That sounds very good. you don't want to touch that up with just like a little bit of like very subtle coconut ice cream just scooped onto the side of it that would you can put ice cream on it you can you can pair it with stuff i used to as like as a kid it was really the only time i drank like milk ever i would just milk ever. I would drink just a glass of milk and a fat corner piece of pineapple upside down cake, man.
Starting point is 01:06:13 That takes me back. This podcast is the opposite of the Unusual Food Combinations podcast. I'm so happy. Although peanut butter and pickle is. Peanut butter and pickle is a comfort food is comfort food that's fair that's fair i didn't even want to bring up that one i didn't want to bring up that podcast just to like i was like let's just leave the past the past but yeah i'm really glad we're i'm really glad this is this is i'm really glad this is happening guys is that the
Starting point is 01:06:42 one that you did not like that is the one that you did not like? That is the one that I did not like. Yeah, you were not happy on that one. I was shook. I was shook, and it did affect my performance. It did. It did. That happens sometimes. I'm not going to sugarcoat it.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Tortillas and alfredo sauce. It's the way to go. You shouldn't have brought it up. No, no, no. Go away with that. Why do you do that they're on a roll we're having a fucking good time that was that was really a weird food combination yes it was yes it was it was not a peanut butter
Starting point is 01:07:19 and dill pickle selection which is delicious no it was gross yeah it was gross yeah it was upsetting yeah david got upset i didn't i didn't realize it was going to be that big of a bummer but i you know i can still have tortillas i don't know if i could have alfredo now it'd be rough hold alfredo well i haven't had i haven't had either since that draft so you know more for me for the record what sean doesn't tell people either since that draft. So, you know. More for me. Just for the record. What Sean doesn't tell people either is that the way he gets the Alfredo onto the tortilla is he fills a latex glove with the cold tortilla and he pokes the hole in the end of one of
Starting point is 01:07:54 the fingers and then he squeezes it in. I hate it. Squeeze it out of the thumb. I hate it so much. Let's not upset David again. Not hard to upset David. It is. I'm very jovial.
Starting point is 01:08:10 All right. Well, let me. I'll go. I'll make my. All right. Should I go? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:15 Second pick. You should leave. Oh, go. But also go. Biscuits and gravy. Oh, great pick. Always. That's a great pick.
Starting point is 01:08:21 That's always my go-to if we go like like david and i went to skivones here in rip city and that was so nice that was a nice little breakfast we had it was a nice little breakfast and i had biscuits and gravy and they always do the trick they always they're always comforting and set you up for a good day yeah i might put a little more hot sauce than your average bear on my biscuits and my gravy, but I like it. I do what I do. And, uh, you know, nothing wrong with that song, man, that I love a lot of hot sauce. That's a biscuits, a gravy.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Yeah, man. Yep. I'll, uh, I'll put it in quadrants too. Like this'll be say the Cholula side. This'll be the Sriracha side. This'll be the Frank's red hot side. Like I'll, I'll section it off. I'll go crazy.
Starting point is 01:09:02 Wow. When you ask the server, you're like, can I get some hot sauce? And they're like, which one? And you're like,'re like all of it oh i always say if they ask which one i'm like do whatever you got just bring the wheel over the whatever you want to call it bring the wheel out will you bring the hot sauce cart to my table please can you have the hot sauce vendor come to this table please quadrant one quadrant one i was just thinking the other day you should try to design the hot sauce vendor come to this table, please? Quadrant one. Quadrant one.
Starting point is 01:09:25 I was just thinking the other day, you should try to design a hot sauce. Yeah, that's for sure. I don't know how to do this. Sue, you want to help me design a hot sauce? I feel like you know more. About hot sauce? I don't know about anything more than I do. Except skateboarding. Are we talking about skateboarding?
Starting point is 01:09:43 Because I feel like you're going to know a little bit more about everything else. I actually love that video where you land like a senior picture pose. I watched that probably 13 or 14 times. Thank you. Is it a skateboard video? Yeah, someone... It was such a good video.
Starting point is 01:09:58 I fell and I landed like on my side like I was posing for a senior picture and someone played it to the full house theme. Oh, that's right. That's so funny. that was really good it fit right i've never had biscuits and gravy what are you are not you are not serious no i never have you've lived in the pacific northwest your entire life yeah it's always seemed a little heavy it's heavy you're almost 40 you got to try biscuits and gravy at some point. There he is. There's that Jordan.
Starting point is 01:10:28 I keep thinking that. And then I realized that Rob's 45 and that can't possibly be. The math doesn't work. Well, yeah, but he was born back. I mean, he was what, 80 when he was born? So I get it. He's aging backwards. Hashem works in mysterious ways.
Starting point is 01:10:42 We can't question it. agent backwards. Hashem works in mysterious ways. We can't question it. You've never had biscuits and gravy? It's very heavy, but on like a cold morning when you have to go do eight hours of farm labor, it hits the spot. It really hits the spot.
Starting point is 01:11:00 Or just if you're going to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Biscuits and gravy. Always got room. Always got time. It always works for me. So that's my second pick. Okay.
Starting point is 01:11:12 Mom, time for your second and third picks. Okay. So for my second pick, I'm going to say it's a cold, rainy afternoon and you're kind of bummed out and you're not feeling like cooking and you're not feeling like doing much. You open up a can of tomato soup and you make a grilled cheese sandwich. You sure do. You dip the grilled cheese
Starting point is 01:11:36 in the tomato soup and you just feel bad. Where do we put the Alfredo sauce? I'm going to kill you. In the garbage. Oh, man. Yeah. Where do we put the Alfredo sauce? I'm going to kill you. In the garbage. I've never made Alfredo sauce. I've never bought Alfredo sauce.
Starting point is 01:11:59 A lot of people don't like it, but a lot of people like the grilled cheese and tomato soup. I'll tell you that. That is a fantastic. Yeah. That's a great time. Crispy sandwich. So you can dip it. Oh yeah that's a great time crispy sandwich so you can dip it oh it's gotta be crispy you can still make it to your mouth before it drops off golden brown do you have any tips for your grilled cheese how do you how do you do it
Starting point is 01:12:16 i don't i butter the bread and put it in the pan and big piece of cheddar cheese on it and turn it. Now, now, now, now, now, some people, now some people, all right, some people putting mayonnaise on their grilled cheese sandwiches. I do not do that. Some people are putting mayonnaise on their grilled cheese sandwiches, and to me, that sounds cuckoo, loony. Malloy won't shut the hell up about it. He's always putting mayo on there. He's a mayo on a grilled cheese.
Starting point is 01:12:47 I don't know why I can't get it through my head. On the outside? On the outside as the crisping agent. Yeah, to get it crispy. I'm with it. I've never tried that. I've always used butter. This won't surprise anyone.
Starting point is 01:12:57 Yep. I've been known on occasion to make a grilled cheese by toasting some bread and then putting it in the microwave to melt the cheese. You are such an asshole. No, I can't hear this. I cannot hear this. Why does he even do that?
Starting point is 01:13:13 I've done that with shredded cheese so many times. Man, it's not a grilled cheese. It's not grilled. It's cheese toast. Why are you afraid of the oven top? Why are you afraid of the burners? Why are you afraid of the burners? You gotta cook, Sean. You gotta lock up the microwave.
Starting point is 01:13:30 All right. Turn on the stove. Now that I got a kitchen island, the next time you come down here, we're gonna learn three basic things, dude. It's gonna be fun. Oh, I'm excited. I'll be in there for that.
Starting point is 01:13:41 Crip walk, blood walk, sun walk. We'll do all three of those. What's the sun walk? It's like the moon walk, but you go forward. Sounds like you're going to be teaching me a few things, too. Grilled cheese and tomato. Excellent pick. And your third is a serpentine draft.
Starting point is 01:13:59 For my third pick, I have to represent, Lisa Carmel is representing. Third pick, I have to represent, Lisa Carmel is representing. So she had, what she loved was the same thing that her brother and sister and brother was lasagna. That's her comfort food. Or her other comfort food, which is- Well, except our entire childhood
Starting point is 01:14:18 when she decided she hated it because I like it. Oh, that's right. She hated it. Yeah. She wouldn't eat it. I love lasagna and she would throw a conniption every time we had lasagna. Like, I like it. Oh, that's right. She hated it. Yeah. She wouldn't eat it. I love lasagna, and she would throw a conniption every time we had lasagna. Like, I hate it.
Starting point is 01:14:28 Would have to be prepared a second meal, even though she loved it. And the problem with that rationale, you see right there on the text, lasagna. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So she got a pick from Aliza just now. Well, yeah, and it was lasagna,
Starting point is 01:14:42 which she loves spaghetti, but she hated lasagna and i was like all it is is thick spaghetti noodles explain that with yeah with more cheese explain that it makes no sense how can you not like it i kind of feel like lasagna is just spaghetti with more homies you know what i mean like yeah roll deeper yeah it's a thicker crew. Her rationale was flawed. And now she's going to be a doctor. So think about that when you think about the medical establishment. And now she likes lasagna as a comfort food.
Starting point is 01:15:12 She loves it. Spaghetti doctor. But for my third pick, representing Aliza Carmel, paprika. Chicken paprika. It's so good chicken paprika with with uh couscous with that paprika sour cream sauce covered over it you smush it all together if you're having a bad day it makes everything perfect it's so good it's got these onions that have been cooked for like decades because i cook everything for
Starting point is 01:15:45 hours yeah how do you cook is that a one pot meal your one pot meal yeah well not really you gotta cook the couscous yeah yeah i love couscous right you saute onions big hunks of onions and uh you saw you you saute the chicken pieces And then you cover it with paprika and chicken broth. And you simmer that until it falls off the bone. And then you stir in sour cream. Oh, my God. And then you just smother everything. It's so good.
Starting point is 01:16:19 It's really not good for you at all. No, no, no. None of these are supposed to be good for you. All of my picks are not good for you. Well, no. If somebody picks, like good for you no my picks are not good for you well no somebody if somebody picks like a head of cabbage i'm gonna i'm gonna freak out and i'm yeah so you should try chicken paprika i also i thank you for calling it couscous because sean's here sean traditionally it's called booze booze but she was doing that because she knows you're a crib. It's a crib thing. Speaking of Boos, you know, I actually, there's this rapper I like
Starting point is 01:16:50 called Lil Boosie. Whenever I sit around and sniff weed, I listen to Lil Boosie. What? I'm shaking. I stole the weed smell from David and he was furious about it and I also picked Lil Boosie. On best smells for newer listeners,
Starting point is 01:17:06 Sean has stolen two picks that made David very angry. Sean took weed for one of the best smells. The rapper Lil Boosie on the Littles and what was the other? Littles and Youngs. I do remember the weed pick. And I thought that was pretty funny since you were not a weed person. Not the weed guy. But now I join you in not being a weed guy.
Starting point is 01:17:27 I also thought it was funny. Just, I have here, I've talked about it before. My mom made me a scrapbook for my bar mitzvah. She brought this down here. And that's very sweet. But the entire back of it are copies of the checks she wrote. How much money I spent. Exactly how much it cost.
Starting point is 01:17:46 And I just want everyone to know that that's real. It's not, that's not a joke. She indeed kept a... I put all the invoices, all the checks. All the invoices are in here. Do you know what I spent on your bar mitzvah? Everything that a bar mitzvah costs. And she told me, she didn't save this for when I was an adult.
Starting point is 01:18:03 As a 13-year-old, I was told about this. I was a man. Well, you save this for when i was an adult as a 13 year old uh i was told about this yeah i was an adult i was an adult i was ready to hear it that's part of that's part of being a man is handling your finances i think that's why i'm funny now i'm still my that's why you're so successful today i think so too yeah i think so too so that that does you are jewish then right a hundred percent bar mitzvah and everything and brother i can tell you how bad how much that bar mitzvah cost if you want if you have any follow-up cues queries we can review we can get into it i would love to know the bottom line now we're gonna have to make this i think this has to be a four-round draft and i think we have
Starting point is 01:18:41 to make it a lightning round because we do go on yeah that's fine sean for time for your third pick uh my third pick is going to be a big fat ass chili dog oh boy yeah a big old fat dog like a big do i need the fork but i won't be using the fork ass chili ass dog you're like what is that bun doing that bun is a farce i want can i go grow my beard for a while longer so i can eat this chili dog and gross everyone out ketchup and mustard on the chili jalapenos jalapeno business like a big french roll kind of bun that doesn't fit in your mouth so you have to eat one side of it and the other and then just kind of yeah dude yes i love a chili dog i'll go hard in the pain on a chili dizzle dude all day chili in general is up there
Starting point is 01:19:25 chili in general is up there yeah i'm putting mine on a hot dog though bro i'm out here living my life brother and i'll tell you what all right brother hey brother i love it brother i love it adam always says that like i'll ask him for something he's like boy i'd love to help you out brother but i just can't do it right now it is it is a funny one when people aren't serious it's tight anyway yeah just a big old smoking ass chili dog dude are you talking chili dog face what was that i don't know like a smoking ass chili dog you don't know that that's a crazy way to describe a chili dog just a big old diesel ass smoked out chili dog bro you might as well just say bbc what are you doing
Starting point is 01:20:13 this guy sean jordan man chantal jordan diesel ass oh my god that killed me i was diesel smoked out buck man. Chantel Jordan. Diesel ass. Oh my God. That killed me. Diesel smoked out buck chili. I was eating. I was eating a cock diesel chili dog the other day. Just say cock. Nowhere in there. Did I say cock?
Starting point is 01:20:35 Don't shoehorn that into what I said. You implied it. You implied it. Oh my God. I've also never had a chili dog. You never had a chili dog? Sue, I know why you guys are in a hurry.
Starting point is 01:20:44 You're going to the biscuits and gravy chili dog stand around the corner. Sucking them down behind the Tasty Freeze? That place Sean thinks is fictional? I hope you've had the scoops, because that's what's going to happen after you go round one and two today on these two things that you've never had. Wait, you've never had a chili dog or biscuits and gravy? Well, now we're having chili gravy biscuits and dog. Oh, no. Chili gravy.
Starting point is 01:21:09 It's like 95 degrees here today. Just eating chili dogs and biscuits and gravy. Oh, no. On the beach wearing sweatpants. Oh, no. It's currently 91. Sit on some fresh cut grass and eat chili dogs and biscuits and gravy. Hot.
Starting point is 01:21:28 Oh, my God. Oh, that's tight. Chili dog it is. David, time for your third pick. My third pick is from the streets of San Francisco. Clam chowder with a bread bowl. Oh, yeah. I love that.
Starting point is 01:21:45 I have that on my list. I love it. It's so good. It's just warm. It's creamy. It fills you up. I love it when you can eat the container that the food comes in. Everybody knows I'm green.
Starting point is 01:21:58 Everybody knows that about me. You can't do that all the time. If you want to make a decision, you can always do that. You can eat it. me you can't do that all the time if you want to make a decision you can always do that i've definitely accidentally eaten some taco bell wrappers in my life i had a couple fingers one time i don't know what i was doing yeah that dog that dog will hunt that dog that dog will hunt dog will hunt dog that's that yeah uh bread bowl was clam chowder there's not much to it it's delicious it's always good the bread it's so i don't know i love it i love a cream based soup uh yeah uh you can't get those a lot of places not cream based soups but the clam chowder and bread bowls no i feel like i i not at all not at all mom have you had a clam chowder in a bread bowl
Starting point is 01:22:46 no swing and a miss well i had powder that i dipped the bread in the chowder sourdough bread yeah so it's kind of the same you kind of get it yeah that's the same you get it yeah yeah yeah i used to take showers where the water was just sitting still so it's the same thing you know i get it a bath get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I used to take showers where the water was just sitting still. So it's the same thing. You know, I get it. A bath. That's a bath. You free.
Starting point is 01:23:08 That's a bathory. Oh, the ambassador. You're the ambassador of South Dakota. The ambassador of South Dakota. I imagine Sean in the bath with like a boat and he's just like, oh, no, the ambassador's coming. In the interest of brevity, I'm going to make my now third and fourth and final pick. Fourth and final?
Starting point is 01:23:37 I think I have some kind of hiccup situation going on. Or am I going to burn? Oh, I'm yawning. My head was trying to do... That's because I kept you up until midnight. We watched The Princess Bride and then an episode of Columbo. Columbo. Columbo. Peter Falk.
Starting point is 01:23:52 Laura's parents watch Columbo. Oh, no, no, it's not. What's another procedural? It's Perry Mason. They watch the old Perry Mason. The old one, yeah. The old Perry Mason, yeah. I love Columbo.
Starting point is 01:24:03 Shout out to Dana Schwartz for recommending Col colombo which is weird because she's younger than all of us and was like hey watch colombo watch colombo maybe speak speak for yourself i'm 24 that's right yeah you're 24 you i forgot you're everybody knows that about me i'm 24 you could find me at the skate park uh with a cab written on my grip tape you know i'm a teenager yeah so yeah yeah yeah i tiktok you can find me at the skate park with ahab written on my skateboard because i hunt whales dude yeah dude i'm a whale hunter yeah that's not a euphemism i hunt whales you hunt whales with your bare hands because it's not murder if you don't kill them with your hands i haven't gotten one yet but i will you will You will. Yeah, you will. You will.
Starting point is 01:24:45 But I will. Ah, yes, I will. My next pick is going to be a breakfast burrito. Yep. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah. You know, what's that place in Los Feliz that their tacos are damn near burritos?
Starting point is 01:25:03 What is that place? In Los Feliz? You'd always get like, well, maybe it's not in Los feliz that their tacos are damn near burritos what is that place uh in los feliz you'd always get like well maybe it's not in los feliz i don't know it's right down the they do the breakfast tacos remember home state yes oh home state is good they're tiny little burritos dude i swear to god they're so dope that place is good are you talking about the window that we walk up to or home state where i would get the postmates but the postmates oh home state oh my god home state that's oh my god it's so good those things are off the chains all burritos really but i'm taking specifically a breakfast burrito maybe a little chorizo in there where it's like oh god chorizo maybe they put a chili relleno in it i don't make the rules eggs you know what i mean it's just potatoes maybe 1500 calories
Starting point is 01:25:47 wrapped up tight in a vessel that like sometimes it could contain alfredo but in this case contains delicious delicious foods i just love it it will it's going to be the last thing you do that morning and it's gonna it's gonna be the last thing you do after whenever you eat it like yeah that's the next four hours of your life at that that's a best case scenario sometimes that morning will just go ahead and bleed into the evening and uh and all that afternoon that day you just don't have an afternoon it's like the sun's going down and you're still full good thing casino and goodfellas are such long movies yeah, you're getting it to soak up all that JMO you drank last night. Every time, right?
Starting point is 01:26:28 It's a JMO mop. Yeah. Yeah, it's a JMO mop. JMO mop, for sure. For whenever Sean comes back, I went ahead and sprung for the Knob Creek. I got some Knob Creek for you there, Sean. Atmosphere's got a lyric about Knob Creek. That's how I found out what it was.
Starting point is 01:26:45 Well, you're going to have some lyrics about it next time you come down here just just a little enticement as soon as i get a car man i'm like i'm test driving whips steadily next week so i think it'll be really yeah are you gonna get an old car are you gonna get a new car uh 2018 or up is what we're looking at oh you're gonna get oh i thought you were gonna get like a donk like a 78 or something but that's trying to bring a child into the world i can't be driving around to who ride i could do that oh you're gonna get oh i thought you were gonna get like a donk like a 78 or something but that's trying to bring a child into the world i can't be driving around to who ride i could do it when it's just me but i understand it's hard to have a kid it's hard to pay for rims and a kid yeah no it's not you pay for the rims i mean kids well if you have a kid i'll get you rims you know
Starting point is 01:27:19 what i mean that sounds like a that sounds like a present to me but like a like a you have to get your baby you have a baby shower, for God's sake. Talking to the voice of Comedy Central and the head writer of Corden, so I think I'll get some rims out of the deal if I have a kid. It's not that. I think I'll candy paint your minivan. I'm just so clear. I want four rims.
Starting point is 01:27:37 None of that three rim stuff you guys tried to pull on the Miracle Whip. I want four this time. That's funny, though. We're funny guys. We are comedians. They got me three Dayton's and a hubcap is what i have to you have to remember it was funny oh yeah also i'm sorry i don't remember you having three daytons before that day i did you're right i did look on your blessings not on your downsides you know what i mean wisdom wisdom my final pick
Starting point is 01:28:00 and it's a lightning round pick i won't say a lot about it i. I'm taking a big-ass bowl, like a bigger bowl than usual. Not like a regular bowl. Like, I'm pouring this into something that you usually put, like, fruit out for guests in. Captain Crunch milk. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What style of crunch? Berries or peanut butter?
Starting point is 01:28:18 Peanut butter. Yep. Attaboy. If I'm talking comfort, if we're talking comfort, it's peanut butter. It's crazy. It's butter. It's crazy. It's crispy. It's crunchy. It's peanut buttery.
Starting point is 01:28:28 Yeah. A hundred percent. Crispity, crunchy, peanut buttery. Captain Crunch. I don't know. It's not my favorite cereal most of the time,
Starting point is 01:28:34 but if I'm in like, if I'm just like, yo, F today, I'm going to sit at home and I'm going to eat all this. I'm going to eat all this Captain Crunch. Yeah. You guys feel very liberal cussing in front of my mother i'm sitting right here next on that couch and i
Starting point is 01:28:48 can feel i would give him a look i do and i've noticed that and i apologize i've i've fallen into a little bit more of a swearing level than i wanted to today so i'm sorry if that seems crass you're both going to prison that's all i know have we been i'm sorry sue i'm just trying to be me it's marissa's influence really you could always be you david you could never be crass yeah i love you so much sean i don't expect it out of you okay i can take it i can handle it you're have a child. You have to clean up that mouth. I got to clean it up. I know.
Starting point is 01:29:27 I've been saying, I say things like penis now, like instead of the vulgar words. Please stop. Oh, my God. The other day I said like, I hate the way you say penis. This is vulgar. But I said like chode or something. And Laura goes, are you talking about the peritoneum or whatever it's called and i was like i have no idea if that's what i'm talking about it could be maybe that's what somebody's body sean i explored it and i found the chode i found it with these
Starting point is 01:29:56 two you're too old to not know what the parts of the penis are sean you're supposed to be the sweet one you're the sweet one david's the face, and I'm the weapons expert. Come on. Everybody knows that. Marissa's the brains behind the whole operation. We have our role. What are you doing? Are you saying penis like a psycho? And when I say you're going to be a father soon,
Starting point is 01:30:20 I don't know why you say, well, I say penis now. I don't understand the connection there. I can't be saying dillsnake or anything. I it sean i'm with you i got you are we gonna you know we're gonna circumcise the dillsnick i don't know we're gonna chill snob the dillsnick or what is that not cool anymore chill snob the dillsnick do we not do that because i saw a protest about that i heard it takes away some feeling if we chill snob the dillsnick but i we not do that? Because I saw a protest about that. I heard it takes away some feeling if we chillsnop the dillsnick. I saw a protest that said don't chillsnop the dillsnick. So I just want to hear from all sides on this. Captain Crunch, David, your final pick. Lightning round.
Starting point is 01:30:58 Oh, man. My final pick, four Eggo waffles with some butter and Mrs. Butterworth's on top. Straight up. Oui. Yes. Straight up. Oui. Yes. Straight up. Old school. Put them in the toaster.
Starting point is 01:31:08 Four Eggo's. Yeah, Eggo's. Lego my Eggo. That movie, Four Eggo's. Who's in that one? Andre 3000. Mark Wahlberg, Andre 3000. Tyrese.
Starting point is 01:31:18 Garrett Headland. Garrett. Tyrese. Yeah. The guy that played, he was in friday night lights the movie cool garrett headland cool yeah okay anyways garrett headland uh sean your final pick lightning round a big giant chicken pot pie you're putting all these you're putting these all these modifiers on everything but not the small pot pie a big pot pie big ass giant uh
Starting point is 01:31:45 radical pot pie a chicken white lutheran pot pie a protestant straight male straight male alto feeds the whole family chicken pot pie uh related to the statler brothers if possible well read related to the Statler brothers, if possible. Well read. I'd like a methodical chicken pot pie. Well read. You just spelled race car with an S and you have the balls. You have the penis to come out here
Starting point is 01:32:22 and say well read. That makes it so different. Oh, you think you got a big penis? Why don't you come on here and say that makes it so different oh you think you got a big penis once you come over here dude's acting like his penis is pretty big over there stop saying it i don't a big pot pie a big chicken pot pie covered in hot sauce, I imagine. And now are you ordering this late at night at a bar or is that just Mike Malloy? Oh, soy sauce. Yeah, if we're being honest, it's probably going in the microwave at about 2.30 in the morning, two of them, and then I mash them up and put soy sauce or hot sauce on it. So you do. Or the banquet pot pies.
Starting point is 01:33:01 You say that like those sauces are interchangeable. You say that like those are the same sauces. I'm international. You need to do Maria calendar pot pies if you're going to do pot pies in the microwave. Do they cost more than one American dollar a piece? Because that's going to be a deal breaker. But you have to save up for it
Starting point is 01:33:21 because you can't have that banquet crap. I'm saving up for a car. What if I'm, where's the money tree you look like eddie vetter now dude you can't be eating banquet pot pies no that's true they're a dollar what about hungry man's gotta have marie calendar hungry man's a little no marie calendar i'm with sue on that marie calendars that's that's the wave it's a qp it's a product. Mom, time for your final pick. My final pick is what I first thought about when I thought about comfort food is fried chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy.
Starting point is 01:33:56 Oh, yeah. No questions asked on that. All on the plate. Maybe some corn, but crispy, crispy salty hot fried chicken and mashed potatoes with thick gravy yep it's the best thick gravy you make a good fried chicken ma yeah i do make a good fried chicken there's some good fried chickens down here that's delicious that's the lightning round we can't talk any more about it unless you'd like to. No, got nothing. Marissa, do you have a pick for the comfort food draft?
Starting point is 01:34:29 I'm sorry I took dim sum already. Oh, yes. I want to go for instant ramen that's been decked out with other ingredients. There we go. Yeah. What do you deck it out with? Yeah, walk us through it. Yeah, I'm talking frozen dumplings, artificial crab meat, green onions, leftover meat, sesame seeds, chili oil, mushrooms, veggies. You could whisk a raw egg into it while it's cooking.
Starting point is 01:34:52 I love that. You just get this really nice soup with all these ingredients. Most of them can be frozen, so it's very quick to cook all this stuff, and it could last in your freezer for a long time. Damn. Very cheap to make, and I would get it after school, and he was very comforting. Perfect. That sounds delicious. Yeah, that was a really great pick.
Starting point is 01:35:09 That was perfect. That was a fantastic pick. Now, to recap, Mom, you went first. You took spaghetti with meat sauce, grilled cheese and tomato sauce, chicken paprika, and fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy. Maybe a little corn. Maybe a little corn. Mom, do you like creamed corn?
Starting point is 01:35:24 I do. Ah, Sean. like creamed corn? I do. Ah, Sean. I love it. I love it. There it is. Right out of the can. Right out of the can with a spoon. You got allies now.
Starting point is 01:35:33 Do you eat it with mustard? No mustard. You can. You can. A lot of people do. It's common. I don't think a lot of people do it. A lot of people do that in prison.
Starting point is 01:35:41 You can do it. It's fine. Common? Common? Common? Common? Common? If you go to Rikers, Sing Sing, a lot of people are eating, putting mustard in their cream corn. It's what you do.
Starting point is 01:35:52 You know they don't have mustard privileges on Sing Sing. You know that. Dude, good behavior, bro. Good behavior. A lot of people do it. A lot of people do it. Mustard tunnel. David, you went next.
Starting point is 01:36:03 You took Xmas. I wrote Xmas. You took christmas leftovers my holiday leftovers pineapple upside down cake clam chowder in a bread bowl clam chowder in a bread bowl uh and then four eggos the whole sheet with butter and maple circle is that right uh uh mrs butterworth non-maple syrup like that just sugar-based syrup yeah yeah yeah all right perfect oh the mrs butterworth uh i went last and i took lasagna dim sum breakfast burritos and then just a big bowl like a helmet ass bowl of captain crunch we left a lot of great stuff on the board uh nachos wait did you read sean's oh no i didn I did read Sean's. What the hell happened to me? I'm off my game today. I'm off my game today.
Starting point is 01:36:46 Sean took wings, biscuits and gravy, just a honking ass diesel, just ponderous. Smoking ass chili dog. Just a Nubian. And then a big pot pie. A big pot pie covered in either soy sauce or hot sauce. A Nubian chili dog. I know that guy. I know Nubian chili dog.
Starting point is 01:37:13 Yeah, yeah. We're going in on the food truck together. He's going to sell me a car. We left good stuff on the board. Stew. Oh, Dinty Moore was on my list. I thought you said Sue. And i was waiting for more no stew uh stew like you don't even call me sue that would be weird sue carmel uh a good a real good
Starting point is 01:37:35 cheeseburger i love like a real good like yeah something with some thousand island on there and a pickle on the burger comfort food that i totally I totally forgot, but I should have remembered, is when I was a kid and I was sick, my mother would make rice, white rice. It was very exciting. And she'd put milk and sugar on it. And that was our sick food. Rice porridge.
Starting point is 01:38:00 My mom used to make something like that too. We had that when I was a kid. I made that for you. Yeah, you would make it. It's good. It's actually really good. It's also a good, when you have white rice left from your Chinese takeout that nobody ever eats, you just mix it up in the morning with some milk and sugar.
Starting point is 01:38:15 Cinnamon. Pour some Alfredo on that, John. I will. Alfredo. Chicken cacciatore. Oh, yeah. Which is really good. I forgot about that.
Starting point is 01:38:25 Reuben's Pad Thai. What about tachos? Tachos. Tachos. Tachos. Tachos. Tater tot nachos. Mom.
Starting point is 01:38:34 Mac and chisel. No. God. Mom, they're nachos made with tater tots. God. Nachos. Come on. Nautchers. Find some.
Starting point is 01:38:51 It's your turn to make dinner. Tachos are great. We want to hear your comfort food favorites, All Family. Please hit us up at All Family Pod on Twitter. AllFamilyPodcast at gmail.com is our email. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Make a shout out to everyone on the all fantasy, everything Patreon.
Starting point is 01:39:13 Thank you so much for holding us down. You allow us to do what we do on here and, and to go about our lives and to buy as many tachos as we want. It's, it's, it's wonderful. We, you're,
Starting point is 01:39:26 we know you could put your dollar anywhere and it's never lost on us that you choose to spend it with us. Tall chairs. Oh, can I do a shout-out? Yeah, shout-outs. Shout-out to Nick. Congrats on the baby. I'm so stoked for you. And shout-out to Julia.
Starting point is 01:39:37 I love you. It was so nice talking to you. They've been listening a lot, and I just wanted to let them know. Oh, I love that. Shout-out to both of them. Nick and Julia that we know? Yeah, Nick and Julia that you know. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah, they rule. I don't think I've met Julia or her friend. wanted to let them know i love that that we know yeah yeah nick and julia that you know yeah yeah hell yeah they rule i don't think i've met julia or her friend uh
Starting point is 01:39:48 i remember nick i do remember nick i do remember nick i don't think i've met anyone in the museum studies science no i don't think so man doesn't know i don't know i don't know anything about it ringing any bells you just learned how to text the other day so it's yeah yeah yeah i've never been west of the mississippi east of the mississippi i mean never east of it no really no what's a dc yeah yeah once but like shout out to my nick nick nampay for going a whole day without wearing a shirt the other day so so that was pretty cool. Hell yeah. Another shout out to super producer Marissa in the traditional spot. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:40:29 We love you. We couldn't do it without you. I hope you have days and nights full of instant ramen with all the fixings. Thank you. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel who is here. Yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 01:40:39 On the same couch. On the same couch. On the same crate and barrel. Too low. That's what we've decided. It's too low. The couch is too low. It's not that it low. That's what we've decided. It's too low. The couch is too low. It's not that it's uncomfortable.
Starting point is 01:40:47 Too low. All right. Probably too low. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Dipty Candles. Shout out to this new vase my mom got me.
Starting point is 01:41:01 You know. Cool vase. It's a cool vase. Shout out to Puffins. Shout out these Janoski fly leather shoes. I just got a little mint green situation. Real dank, dude.
Starting point is 01:41:11 Shout out to the Keen sandals I've decided to wear today. Keen, a Portland company. Keen. Keen. Shout out to this cranberry juice. Zach went to the store. He asked me if I wanted anything.
Starting point is 01:41:24 I said, cranberry juice he got me the 32 ounce he got me the big boy he's a good guy he's a good guy he's a good guy I appreciate it
Starting point is 01:41:30 shout out to cranberry juice and more important than all of that tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything R-A-S-E-C-A-R. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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