All Fantasy Everything - Commercial Jingles (w/ Steven Castillo)

Episode Date: September 24, 2026

Count this as the unofficially official 500th episode of AFE.Guest:Steven Castillo (@steezus_castillo)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything, the podcast of fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. A little bit of granola bar flew out of my mouth in the middle of that, but I didn't spit the cherry out. Kept it inside. Mouth control. Mouth control.

On today's episode, we are drafting commercial jingles. Our guest is stand-up comedian, writer, hilarious man, Stephen Castillo. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, with me as always. are my good friends in the stand of comedian, Sean Jordan and David Bory I almost knew him. I leaned into it.

He does it every time. He's a dick. I don't do it every time. He doesn't do it every time. I feel like that's how the big swing in a miss sometimes. But yeah. Sometimes swinging in a miss. Sometimes I just don't attempt it at all.

It's now I keep it off. We've gone all the, we've gone through all. Your hair looks great by the way. Keep it off, thanks. This is the ninth episode. Not mine. This is my sixth.

Nine and four days. Sean and I have done nine episodes in four days. I think that's the first time I've knocked off your hat. Oh, well, thanks, bud. Yeah. You had me with a pillow a bunch yesterday. It was funny. Are you like a bully outside of?

Yeah. All right. He's a druggino. He's a bully beat off her. A dragooner? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gooning, dragooning at the same time.

Yeah. Unfortunately, that's like. Very problematic. Very problematic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I'm not really a bully. I pick on him a lot, but just because I love him so. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I can handle it. And he's right here. Sean's also a secret bully, though. Sean's your bully?

Yeah. I was a bull. I had a little time in seventh grade when I was a bully. And I was a bully to Shane Torres for still. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, Shane Torres is a bully to me, so that's a great. He is not.

I've never seen Shane bully and he won't. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bring up the time he got burrito seven feet up on a wall. Okay. Just next time he starts to say that and he'll be like,

oh, God. How to get up there? Hey, I'm not doing this one, Shane. He's about to say something. I didn't say it. The man's Instagram captions or just any texting or typing at all. Yeah, it can't be said. I'll show you later.

No, no. There's never been a less online guy who has been forced through the conditions of modern comedy to be online. And it's just funny to watch him have to move through the world. He's our, like, best friend on the entire planet. I spent my birthday with. you and Shane Torres. Yeah, that's right.

Tyler Snogger. It was one of the best. Watching the Oklahoma City Thunder win. Watching them and making me feel like they were going to beat the Spurs that fucking series. We were in New York City shooting the thing for after that. It was great. That sounds fun.

Yeah. Sean Jordan's here, Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan. We're saying women's stand-up comedy. Yeah, Beth Stelling. Oh, nice. One of the good ones. That just looks so cool, too. I don't think I got anything on the books.

I don't know. What about our anniversary? It's after this, isn't it? Or is it tonight? This is the 24th, so this is going to be... Two days from now. If there's still tickets, then you'll be seeing me on Instagram. He's going to do the AOS challenge. First show sold out, second show.

Hopefully there are still tickets, so Sean is pouring canola oil and ice on himself. Yeah, let's gris you up. Also, hopefully by this time there's something else going on during the day, but like that's Saturday. We'll put that in an earlier episode. We'll do a drop. Yeah, come to the events, whatever. And I'm probably Friday night. I'll return to Reddit.

Yeah. You don't have to. You don't have to. I will have made my return to Reddit by this point. Yeah. disseminate information on festivities. Well, we should give Patreon the priority. We will.

Yeah, they already got the Patreon first. Yeah. And then Reddit. I'm coming back. I feel like you want back in. That's like a toxic relationship. Hey, by the way, be fucking nice. Yeah, that'll work.

I hate that shit. This is going to work. If you're being addicted, then then get. get out of there or be a dick to me. See what time it is. Just get out. Don't be a dick to Sean. There's no room.

There's no room for that though. It's like it's so, it's so stupid to do. So just don't. Please just don't. No, you really. Didn't I fix it? Yeah, yeah. I ain't even going to touch this one.

What's another problematic part of the internet? I'll fix that real quick. All these feminists. Knock it off. Yeah. We're seeing what number episode is this? This should be 510. Wow.

When did we do 500? When you guys did you fucking 500? We had to. We had to. Yeah. Yeah. What? Ian, you were working on the World Cup.

You did the 500th episode of All Fantasy Everything Without Me? We didn't mean to. Nobody said, hey, we're doing the 500th episode? I think we did. Nobody told me we were doing 500. For sure, it's in there. Yeah, yeah. Go to Candy Coded and search 500.

You guys did the 500? I'm sorry you have to be here for this. Five hundredth episode. of my podcast? We had to do it. It's our podcast, too. No, it's not. And what did you want to happen?

You were working. It's definitely not your podcast. All right. I mean, he shapes it. You have the last 200 episodes. He shapes it. You get and wake it out. I didn't, no, trust me.

I didn't, I felt. I'm starting a new podcast. Is now a weird time to plug my podcast? No, get it in. No, I'll do it later. I'll do it. Did anyone do the 500th episode without you? It would be news to me.

What did you dress? Who was the guest? Was it the ocean movies? I think it might have been ocean movies. Did you say anything about how it was the 500th episode on that episode? Yeah, I think we touched on it. You're a toilet. You were a toilet full of barf.

What was I supposed to? Me? Why me? Been there. You're actually mad about this, I can tell. I'm a little miffed. I'm a little miffed. We did the 500 episode.

Somebody should have been like, hey, this is the 500th episode. We did. You should. No, not really. We can do a spiritually 500. I think we need to do a spiritually 500. I didn't want to like, I don't we make this new 500.

This is the 500th episode. Sure. I didn't want to come at you and be like, hey, you have to do it. No, I would never do that. The motherfucker. Malfourke, hit me with a sure. I just looked up 500th in my chat and there's no record of 500th. Did you spell it?

Oh, no, I didn't. Phenetically? Yeah, try that. 500. I know I didn't spell it. Five, I either know there's five for instance. Five for fighting. I talk about that.

Try five hundred. Five hundred. Five hundred. Oh, there it is. It was Sean. F-I-H-E-N-N-N-Y. Five Bills. Nobody texted Carmel.

We knew. We discussed this on air. No, we did. We must have because I knew. We had to. No. No. We didn't.

Let me look at my shit. Look at your shit. I'm going to feel weird now like you're mad at me this whole time. I'm not mad at you. This might be the 500th episode since David and Sean joined. If this is like 510? Oh, that might be it. You guys joined around like five twice.

Stephen, I'm sorry, the podcast isn't usually like this. No, it's usually like this. Oh, no, no, no. I'm usually not betrayed. Can I say something real quick? Yeah. I went full Sam Presti on this one. What's that?

You engineered? I drew a board. Whoa. Did you draw a board? I made a board. I'm so fucking serious. I have a fucking, I got a fucking board too. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm going to do some trades. And I didn't mean to segue, but I'm hoping I draft Jalen Williams at 12 here. And I think there's potential. There's some talent. We are drafting commercial jingles. I'm mad at in order, Sean the most, obviously, of course, furious. Isaac second. Wow.

Isaac second. God damn. David's wearing a backwards hat. Can't be too mad at a guy wearing a backwards hat. Is it because I didn't give you a gift from Korea? Damn. I didn't get a gift from Korea. You didn't come see the taping.

You didn't tell me about the five of the episode. I guess it's fuck Ian Summer. For my... One time you texted me $7,000 to me. Just the... I don't know what it's about. It's not... What's...

Man... ...ty the word $7,000? Typins money into your thing, and it brings... One time I texted Blair Socky about $500. Somebody said, who the fuck is paying $380 for an Antoine Walker card in one of my chance? Ha ha ha ha ha. We'll move past enacably. I'm sorry.

I will be doing the rest of this podcast with a knife protruding out of the back of my back. I swear to God it came up. I'm sorry. I didn't not. I don't. Because I did go into it knowing, and I'm not seeing it here anywhere. I'm just going to have to start a new podcast with considerate people and do that for 10 years. I just start weeping.

I could. It could get there. Oh, don't actually do it. I don't actually do it. I was upset when I found out here on the podcast. Leave this all in. going WTF style. That's fair.

Are we good now? The older I get I can feel myself welling up at like the tiniest things. People can probably hear this, but I am holding Sean's hand. Stephen, give me your hand too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cold. Stephen take David's hand? Maybe we just.

Hey, David. Isaac, you want to get over here on it on this? I'll spiritually hold your hands from a far. Love you. I love you guys. I'm so sorry that this happened. Thank you. Yeah, this is just tough for you to walk in on.

It's like when you go to your friend's house and their parents start fighting. Oh, oh, my. Man, a heart. Wasn't that shit the worst? That happened. When Loon, he came up the other episode,

when he broke my finger, his mom flipped out on him. At Loon. And then his mom and dad started fighting about like, I think how mad she was. It was all in Vietnamese. So I'm just,

I was kind of going off vibe. It seemed like, it seemed like dad was being like, chill out a little bit. It was kind of going off vibe. I think I was like, it's still swelling up. I do need to get out of here.

That's very funny. Thank you. Sean Jordan is here. Didn't say it's David Bore is here. I got no dates. Stephen, what would you like to bro? You have a podcast.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, 500 episodes. We're doing our 500 episode. It's a me. It's called Two Amigos with me and Melissa Vio-Signor. Phenomenal. We have fun people, but the last one will come out, we had a puppeteer named Michelle Zamora. And a big chunk of it, we did it as puppets.

Wow. How did you like getting puppeted? With that she brought like a fucking Like a bag full of puppets I mean did you like it? Did you find you like being a puppet? Yeah it was it was actually like I had to do like some weird circus Soleil moves because I was sitting on the floor with my hand up like that

It's like it's a lot of worse You're controlling your own puppet during it? Yeah Yeah, yeah yeah we all were Yeah Even our producer was a puppet too It was great Did it become second nature to control the puppet while you

you were talking? Trying to think of how hard that would be. Well, I was doing like a voice. Oh. So then it took a while for me to get out of character, you know. For like hours afterwards. Do you really just do your hand up like this? Yeah, put it in there and going, yeah, yeah.

Interesting. And I was like, hey, how are you doing? Come over here and give me a little kiss. And I'm a puppet. Yeah, yeah. There is an urge to make you pop it a little bit more. A little bit. A little salt here.

Get around the block a couple more times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get that. If it's a mildly unattractive puppet, that's the voice that you give it. Yeah. Yeah, so I know I'm going to spring chicken here, yeah. It's funny because there are also a lot of hot puppets. Well, no, oh, wait, who are some hot puppets?

The one, the Muppet with the Big Eyes. Oh, Janice? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, she's hot. I want to know who else you think is a hot puppet. I feel like I'm just in my head. Hey, you know, when Miss Piggy has straight hair, I fuck with it. Or curly.

Isn't there the Miss Piggy that, like, Kermit? There's like a, didn't one of the Muppets that bring us a second Miss Piggy? There's like a Stefan Arkell of Miss Piggy. Yeah, there's a Stefan Rakell of Miss Piggy. Interesting. Hotter Miss Piggy. They just call her that?

I feel like they did. Somebody will tell us. Somebody, hit us up in the comments. Man, don't Google image search Hot Puppet. Here's Miss Piggy dressed like Tina Turner. That's pretty cool. No, now we're getting. a little in my formative years.

Oink, oink. No, I don't know why, but the older I... Christ. Yo, that was bad. That was bad as hell. What the fuck is that? You know exactly what that was. Yikes.

That was me figuring something out. Oink, oink. That was like something a creepy guy in a 90s movie. What's your call? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oinks. You're supposed to say that with a cup of a red solo cup full of beer in your hand.

Look at all these ladies. Oinkety Oink. Sean Oinkton, Melrose plays. Sean Oinkton models, Inc. John Oinkton. That's one of those words, Road. That's one of those. You say oink a bunch.

Sounds like an insane word. Yeah. Isn't that what they do in Tommy Boy, Road, Raoud, Road, that scene where they think it sounds weird. I can't remember. There's like laughing. gas in the car, right? There's like gas filling up there, nitrous or something?

I saw Black Sheep more times than Tommy Boy. Really? No, that can't be right. Tommy Boy, I feel like, was the one. Black Sheep is the one where his dad is the politician. From that on a campaign trail. Yeah, no, I've seen Tommy Boy more. I mean, it's Tommy Boy again.

Richard was happening, right? That's Tommy Boy. Catch up Popsicle. But I've seen Black Sheep Hella, too. I feel like it was on Comedy Central a lot. Yeah. I think they would back to back them. Yeah.

Hey, you know what I saw that surprisingly hits Beverly Hills Ninja. Really? I haven't seen it forever. I don't know if I ever saw Beverly Hills Ninja. Oh my God. Damn, I got to go back. I haven't seen it since.

Chris Rock is in it? I don't know that. A lot of sense. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I was, I think there's a part where like he has to go undercover as a stripper and it just does the Chippendell's sketch. Yeah, of course.

I'm sure they're like, so we got to work it in some. Yeah. It has to be in the movie. It works. Yeah. that felt yeah I gotta watch it then because it felt like the thing where it was like uh oh it's falling apart that was that felt like

oh it's not a good movie it's not a good movie it's not a good movie but it's funny it's so but he breaks a lot of stuff he breaks a lot of stuff he like has to go through a metal detector and of course he has like eight samurai swords you know at the airport you know I love it when people have to take weapons off yes yes yes oh you're gonna love this one of you have too many weapons like got a movie for you

that's like one of the top five scenes of the movie What's the story of it? He was that he was like a specially trained samurai. It's basically the movie at a dojo. It's basically the movie elf. Okay, yeah. But he's just a fat white boy that lived where samurai's, you know. Yeah.

He left him there or something. Yeah, yeah, basically. He was shipwrecked. It's elf. It's basically, yeah. Ninja Elk, karate elf is not a bad pitch. Karate elf is not a bad pitch at all. Prada elf is kind of the Sean Jordan story.

Taekwondo Elf. Taekwondo Elf. Taekwondo Elf. The cookie one. The cookie one. That's, you know, Isaac knows what I'm talking about. It's a bit racist.

The cookie one. How would I say cookie one? Cookie one. Cookie one. Yeah, more or less. More or less. Is it more or less? It's less.

Certainly wasn't more. Sure. Hell yeah. I don't have any dates. Come see us in two days. It's going to be fucking great. It is going to be great. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Can you skip it? Just let us do it. You guys? And call it the 500th episode. I'm sorry. I know you are. I didn't mean that. I know you are.

I didn't even. I didn't even. I'm sorry. I didn't know. Now, maybe some enterprising AFE fan will pull an excerpt from 498 and be like, here's Ian acknowledging that the 500 episodes into. In fact, I would bet on that being the case. Yeah, but I'm not going to know for a month or two and a half months. Exactly.

Well, 600 will go crazy. 600 is going to go nuts. Now, I will be covering. the MLB playoffs Yeah, yeah. You know our boy James Corden loves baseball. Loves baseball. We're going to be hanging out

just talking about fucking Ken Kameniti, dude. But you guys have a good time. Ken Kamenitti. Good poll. Good poll, Carmel. Shote, oh honey. Nope. Shohai, Shohay Otani.

Shohei otani. Shohet? I'm like, who's the most famous Chote is a melody in my head Like my iPod stuck on replay I haven't done that in a while I haven't said something real stupid in a while I've done nine episodes man

I get it I was so confident too Oh yeah let me match your baseball player With another baseball player Shotee oh honey You mix it up like the perfect way to mix it up It's the only way you can mix it up You had it in there

Most famous baseball player in the world Probably the only baseball player I could name And I can't even name him Shotay or honey Papa Gijon Jaikl Morden Jerich Dieter Jerich Dieter

They're all drug dealer names When you switch them around Tell me Jerich Dieter's not selling weed Pigbopi He was an alpha dog Pig Bopi Whoa! Pig Bopi Piffy

Pag Fee's a Mays. Randy Mamiris. Randy Mamiris. Sammy Sousa? It all works. It works. Mark McGuire.

Motherfucker collected his last infinity stone over here. Oh, I got to watch that movie tonight. Tight. Which one? You're watching Avengers? I'm watching them all to get ready. We're all going to see Spider-Man on Sunday. Oh.

So I told Lana's family I was going to be prepared. That's bad. Yeah, now they're all laughing at me because I said I'm bringing deli meat to the movies. Why have any of you about that? That's a healthy snack. I think it's a cool idea. I do it sometimes. I saw Spider-Man last night.

Awesome. My girlfriend snuck in, it was the one at the Americana, so we snuck in Cheesecake Factory. Absolutely. It's great. That's a 9 out of 10 movie for me. Would you like cheesecake or were you bringing in like a cassidia or like a chicken potato? Oh, you know, one of the five of the five. 500 things that are on the menu.

You know, I dabbled, hit the random button. Meatloaf, a turkey. I went with spicy chicken sandwich. I ate a shitload of cheesecake last night at Foggeda Chow, so I'm out for a while. You were eating cheesecake? That cheesecake brulee was... It's unbelievable. We dug in a little bit of the Foggin'a Chow.

It's fucked up. So how much time did you spend on the salad bar? None. You got one plate of greens. One plate. I got a plate with some broccoli, some salad, and some of those mushrooms. I ate that. You didn't get any of the cheesy bread.

Oh, we got the cheesy bread and like the polenta and the plantains. Yeah. Those plantains were nuts. But then it was all meat. Dude, that's the most fool I've ever been is going to Fogo the Chow. No, the morning after. Bruttle. Not good.

Bruttle. Not good. At least it was over quick. The sweats. It wasn't over quick. No. It wasn't over. Yeah.

It was not over quick. I got home at like midnight. Damn. We started eating at what, 730? We ate for a long time. Yep. We conversed. How did Langston like it?

Langston loved it. Okay, good. He's a little pig glove in the slop, too. Is he? He's a pig boppy? Yeah, he's just really beautiful. Yeah, he's a pig boppy. Okay, good to know.

We're drafting commercial jingles. This is a rich text. It's, I... This is a deep draft. Deep, deep. The worry I have with this one is that I think some stuff may be resonated for me that didn't resonate for everyone else, so I'm curious to see how great my great picks are.

Sorry, I called you a toilet full of barf. I meant it in jest, but I said it while angry. And if it came across at all, you know me well enough to know that I've been thinking about it. I'll think about this for a long time. It seemed to me like the most ridiculous thing I could say, but I was still a little bit hurt. It was funny.

And then that I feel like maybe it seemed real at all. It was, I swear to God, the most honest mistake maybe I've ever made. If I was actually mad at you, I would never call you a toilet. I might now, I might integrate that into my actually mad vocabulary, which only comes out. That's not going to work well for you,

in traffic like, you're driving like a toilet. That's the only time I'm actually mad. Okay, well, that's okay. For the most part, I think like in traffic. Yeah, it's pretty, I get a little mifted airports. It'll happen to do that. Yeah, that's right.

Airport is bad for me. I got mad at the Play-Doh guy the other day. Oh, boy. Oh, he got the fucking Jacket his Play-O from my kid. And I was like, are you? Really? Yes. Blue.

I was like, and we've said to look it up and that's not on the list. That's not on the list. It says it's okay. He looked on the website and it says it's okay to have Plato. What do the TSA guys say? Said it was over 3.2 ounces. It's not liquid. And I was like, did you weigh it?

So my arm. I go, I didn't see you weigh it. And then he grabbed another one. And he goes, this one's two. And I'm like, smaller, way that. And then my wife, you know, stepped in. Yeah, somebody always steps in when you try to give it to TSA.

I know, I hate that. Every time I get into it with them. Probably for the best. Yeah, I mean, it's never when I'm traveling solo, dolo. It's always what I'm with somebody. That's why I was like, I'll go to other rooms, buddy. Like, if you want to talk about it. But we would have all missed our flight, not just so you can't.

Was this that LAX? Detroit. Oh, Detroit. I get that shit in JFK. I think that's the fucking worst. Oh, yeah. they'll sass you there. They're so fucking mean.

I like LaGuardia better. LaGuardia's way better. Now that it's been remodeled. And they got the cool fountain that does the tricks and shit. The Toronto's got a fountain that does tricks. It's kind of fun. It does. It does have that big fountain in Detroit.

Oh, right. Yeah, they got a good one. And they have a sky train in the airport. They have like an L train. It's a big airport. A scrain, dude. They call it. A scrain?

Scrain. Sky train. I have a question about this draft. Yeah. Do all the, do the jingles have to have to have lyrics. No, I don't think I don't know. All mine do.

You know what, let's do this on a case-by-case basis. I'm making... And Isaac is sort of usually the final word on all this stuff. I'm making an audible. I'm not very educated on commercial jingles, if I'm honest. But I will try to adjudicate as best as possible. I think you have the candle of truth burning in your heart. That's true.

Yeah. I think you lived your life like a candle in the wind. Okay. What does that mean? I have that song? It means Lady Diana. Look it up. All right.

I had that light. but all the toilet water put it out. Well, you're a toilet full of barf. Stand by that. God, toilets full of barf might be the grossest. Is the Elton John? Might be the best band that was on the Warp Tour last year. My buddy just went to Warp Tour, he said.

Really? Yeah, he saw Third-Eyed Blind like a month ago. Wow, I go to that. I said, we are so old, dog. Who was that Warp Tour this year? He said Third-Ey. He said he didn't know any of the young bands. Oh, okay.

I wonder where they would have gone because he lives in L.A. Maybe it was like... Pomona Fairgrounds. Oh, okay. Maybe. I don't know. Oh, Long Beach.

Yeah, he said it was in Long Beach. They're doing one of Mexico City. Mm-hmm. Well, should we go? Kind of back the Warp Tour. Should we go to Mexico City for a while? Okay, we had, uh... Who you got?

Shit, I don't know any of these people. What the fuck? That's the problem. That's what he was saying. He said he didn't know. What the third eye blind is like way low on here? Oh, they don't even have the big names. It's all small.

Is it alphabetical? Hey, Hube Stank was there. Taking Back Sunday. Simple plan. MXPX. There's some bands from one we were in. Lagwagon. Taking back Sunday.

Lagwagon rules. Papa Roach. The Atari's. Okay. Why are they putting these names bigger on the fucking poster? They're all a little communism, dude. Yellow Wolf. Yellow Wolf is going to be.

You love Yellow Wolf. What's a Yellow Wolf song? I only know that your DJ, my DJ, from, that he did with Big Boy. And he was on one train. He was on like one of those ASAP Rocky songs. Yeah, I know that one time I heard him say, Yellow Wolf, Yellow Wolf, enter the internet.

Yeah, that's right. Didn't he have an MGK come out around the same time and beef? Because they got mixed up a lot. If you think I know an MGK song, I'm gonna kill you. I know the one with Wakaflaka Wild Boys. I do know that song. I'm a wild boy. You don't know that song with Waka Flama?

Cat Williams is in the video. Not to be confused with the other Waka Flokka. You know, see a Yellow Wolf at Rock, La Hala. in prior Oklahoma on September 4th. Yeah, he's playing Rocklahoma. Shit, I'll take my mom to that. There you go. Commercial jiggles.

Now, the way we determine the order of the draft is a rollicking game of rock paper scissors play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. All right, here we go, Stephen. It's Rock Paper, Scissors, time. Rock Paper, Cissors, shoot! Oh, David wins in unnatural victory.

It's a paper against two scissors to the odd man out. David is the winner is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft before you do that. I will remind you is a serpentine draft. is that? That's a great question. Axel stall is on a mini-ram. So you drop in, do a 50-50 stall, wait per second, you go back, do another stall on the other side, back and forth.

That's a great one. Thank you. Basically what it means if you pick fourth in the first room, you pick first in the second round, it's serpentine draft. Got it. And you just go backwards, back and forth, all that in fours. It's like in five rounds. It's like a mini-ram. With that in mind, what would the order the draft be, David? David Ian. Sean Stephen, David Ian. Hot corner. No way. Corner. Stephen, David Ian is the order of today's draft. So can I make an assessment here?

Absolutely. I do feel like this draft has a Victor Webbenyama. Do you? One that stands above all of them. I think you might be right. I think there's some fucking, I think it might also have. I think number two is a, there's a Kevin Durant at number two. I think it might have Hakeem, Elijuan.

I'm already I think I'm not Sam Bowley Big Street Or I'm a fucking idiot And I'm over hiking No no I'm saying Now what you're doing is making me nervous as hell Now I don't know

Because I don't know what to do You're the Houston Rockets dude We're gonna get to that first pick Right after this break This episode of all fantasy Everything is brought to you by Quince Now if you are like me Or if you are like Ian or David

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That's babel, babble, babell.com slash all fantasy for up to 60% off rules and restrictions may apply. And we're back. Finish your thought. I will say, if you flub this, I will tell you, you flub this.

Yeah. That I... Like toilet barf isn't going to tell me? I'm not going to go full toilet barf. I'm Ian. Right. It's crazy how fast you put the flip on that insult. Oh, me toilet bar.

a barf. A lot of it's trying to do is make some money to feed my family. Call the police on the buildings I was standing in front of. Sean, and it's time for your first pick. You are on the clock, dude. Commercial jingles is the topic.

I'm so nervous. This is about the most nervous I've ever been. My hand does not. I think that scene is CGI. Watch how quick he pulls his hand away. It looks like it's CGI. In The Departed, when he goes, my hand does not shake and he goes like this. Adam pointed that out to me and it really, I want my baby back, baby, Beck, baby, Beck, baby,

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back. That's your, that's your number one. Chili's baby back ribs. Barbecue sauce. Barbecue sauce. You don't watch the video where they're laying down that trap? They're having a great time. It's amazing.

Well, I'm nervous. I'm pins and needles over here. Did I blow it? In my mock draft. Uh-huh. I put chilies at. number two wow okay

okay all right so I got Durant Kevin DeUran I got him yes I think that's a that song is so good gets in your bones that I thought it was that that that was a regular song they took it they're like we're gonna use this

for our ribs Chili's baby back ribs I showed it to my brother recently he was my brother's 19 18 he got obsessed yeah it's so good that we thought barbecue sauce was a lyric in a real song, barbecue sauce.

And it became so intertwined in the culture that it was used as a joke in Austin Powers. The way he said, baby backups. And I just wanted to mention real quick. So the premise of that bit in the movie is that fat bastard wants to eat mini meat. He wants to eat mini meat. He's so fat. I eat babies, you know. That he wants to eat a live baby.

Yeah. Yeah. He's... That Ian covered it extensively. He did. Very hurtful. Well, he's got a chapter. In my book, in my book, T-shirt Swim Club.

It's like, it is nuts. The thing I wrote was like, it's so hurtful and it's so, so funny. It was like, truly the greatest comedic minds of our age were devoted to, like, making fun of fat people. Yes. Which was both glorious and horrible. It's like living in, like, Renaissance. And I hate to say this, but it invites a cartoon-level humor.

A hundred percent. You know, just peak silliness. It's so silly. But, yeah, his. like thing that he was chasing was to eat a baby. Eat a baby. That was his thing he'd never done.

And he's like, I've eaten everything else. That was his white whale. I'd love to eat a baby. Everything else there is. Got it in there. Never had a baby. Yeah.

Yummy. White whale. He ate it. He ate white whale. But, yeah, baby back ribs. I honestly, I don't even know if I ever had the baby back ribs from chilies. No, I never had them.

I had them six months ago. Oh, yeah? There's not a chilies to be back. What was your review on them? They're pretty good. There's a Chili's by my mom's house in St. Bruno. I'm on this Allrecipes.com article about the Chili's Baby Beck Rib song. That was a sound clip Isaac put in for two months ago.

They were credits due. So the guy who wrote the song never ate the babyback ribs. The funeral of the guy who sang it, his funeral had both live pigs and a giant barbecue sauce fountain. Which guy? There were several guys. as seen in the video. I'm just reading office. I haven't gotten to that part yet.

So one of the guys, though. There was a main guy though. Chili's baby back ribs, right? Chilies baby back ribs, yeah, like the big voice. And then barbecue sauce came in. The mic will love it. Everyone from in sync to TGI Fridays

tried to cover it and capture the magic, but they couldn't do it. TGI Friday? Like they tried to fucking Friday's like Mark Zuckerberg? Friday's Potato skins Friday's potato skins

Baconie crumbles Brickinie crumbles Ridlet Rit. Ritlet Bomerito wrote the song in 96. I always thought they were ribbits for some reason. I didn't know there was an L in there. Really?

I think, like, I saw on a menu one time. Like, I thought they were ribbits. Yeah, they're riblets for sure, right? They're called riblets. Okay. I don't know. Wolf Johnson was the guy who had the barbecue sauce fountain at his funeral. Of course he was the guy who did that.

One more baby, back, baby, back, baby, back. Okay. Wow. So he wasn't the singing. No. Because that's another guy. That's a different guy. And then barbecue sauce is a third guy.

A third guy. I believe a bald man. Yeah, but this was Wolf Johnson. It was Billy Zane. He was the barbecue sauce. He entered in a smoker-shaped coffin? Wow. He really.

He committed to it. Yeah. It was a legacy. Which is funny because he was already old when he got that gig. He lived a whole other life. TLC had a show called Best Funeral Ever. And for his. funeral is called the Baby Back Rib home going. Oh my God. What a dark show. That's a dark

ass show. That is wild. Best funeral ever. This is a great article. It's like super sweet 16 for dead meat. That is a that is a fucking prime time talent, the babyback rib song. Yeah, I don't have to go again for seven more. So let me ask you guys this. Yes, Stephen. When I said there was a unanimous number one pick, did you think it was the Chili's? I had a different one in mind. Here's my... I don't know. I didn't think there was a number one. I got three or four up there.

I think this is going to be a poor showing for all David Boree. If I had a criticism of the baby back ribb song. Yeah. What? If I had one. Not enough. How well? If I had one.

David's Knuckles getting all wine. If I had one. If I did it, it would be that the song became so big that it almost... You almost don't even think about baby back ribs. Right. You almost don't think about... You don't think about... Almost is fast, almost.

I don't. It doesn't make me want baby back ribs at all. The song became bigger than the product it was advertising. Yeah. Which is a credit to the song? It's insane. But you almost think like, wow, I don't even think about the product. But to counter to that, that's what also makes it a great jingle.

Absolutely. You know? Absolutely. So in the different year, Chili's would be number one. Yeah. Okay. But for my number two pick, and I am so happy that I got this.

It's none other than O'O, O'Reilly's O'Riley's. Auto parts. Not even my number one, but that is a great. I'm so glad you took that because I'm getting mine. I thought, I thought, okay. Well, I wonder if we have the same one. We might each have a different number one pick.

We might be building different teams. Am I in the minority? I had O'Reilly's on my list for sure. O'Reilly works because that's where I go. that's if I'm like, I need something. That's the first thing that pops in my head and I Google an O'Reilly. Where is it? Yeah.

If I need a taillight or whatever. I do another one with this song. Okay. Oh. Oh, I know. I know what we're talking about. The great thing about O'Reilly's is like I've had a different favorite part of that song. It's not very long, but I have a different favorite part of it in different years of my life.

Right now it's auto parts. To me, the unsung hero is the yow! Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, motherfucker put an exclamation point on it. Hey, can I try to take where I do something, just put a little spin on it? You know what?

Yeah. We got it. We got it. We got it, but sure. To me, I like the idea that it's like a little kid or a gender. I'd be like, I reckon I could think of something that just does that. And it blows everyone away. You have a gift.

I reckon I could think of something. If you don't mind. If you don't mind. I think I can play it down. All right, don't be cool. Yeah, I guess that's all right. Take it for $100 and take it off your hands. Yeah.

They took it. Yeah, the true story. Do I say it in this microphone right here? Yeah. We're smoking cigarettes. Come on up, honey. Oh, David, give him a try. He's been sweeping the floors all month.

Audio engineers all smoke cigarettes to me. For sure. Oh, yeah. That's what the movies taught me. Oh, yeah. Is that real? Hunched over the boards. Oh, my God.

Yeah. It's your cousin, Marvin O'Reilly. I think I got the song you've been looking for. It's short, it's simple to the point. It's Noah's Arcade. It's, to me, it's the best. It's a jingle. It's just quick, easy.

How old is that? I don't know, but I did read that they had a reunion. The singers had a reunion. Wow. sing it live, which is amazing for a song. Short-consic-second song. Do you think that happens after you make like a crazy jingle? Like, hey, we should all meet back here every year.

I hope so. But it is like a thing, like if you have grandkids, you tell them, right? Yeah, you have to. Yeah, of course. There'd be proof that I had that jingle all over my house. So for one glorious second, I was allowed on the O'Reilly Auto.com slash jingle-dash history. But now I'm getting an access denied message. I got the same thing.

Really? Yeah. They don't want us to another group. Oh, no. There's going to be SWAT team's going to storm this place. I remember seeing the word Ozark in there. This thing goes all the way to the time. In the heart of the Ozarks.

And it was created in 1999. 99. Yeah. I feel like once 99 hit, nothing was from the heart of the Ozarks. Yeah. Right? I barely know where the Ozarks are. I only know from the show.

The show. Exactly. Tell me where they were. I just know what they are. Isn't it like Arkansas, Missouri? Something like that, right? Yeah. I would say the fact that you are worried I didn't pick yours, David, and Ian, I didn't pick yours.

Yeah. Makes me nervous about my 10 and 12. Oh. You guys might know a little more about jingles than I thought. I'm pretty deep. Yeah. I'm pretty deep. I feel better now than I did before.

I have a couple here that no one even think of. JG. J. That's the fucking one. You got J.G. Wentworth? Yeah. 877 cash now. I have a structured settlement and I need cash now.

Call J.G. Wentworth, 877 cash now. I don't know what a structured settlement is. Nope. Annuity. That's what I can't hear an annuity is. I don't know what any of that shit is, but I know where to go if I have one. I will never forget that number. You work at a call center long enough.

You'll get tattoos of those words. And also that jingle is like the three minutes long if you're talking about the opera commercial. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have an extendo version, which you need. It's like knowing the full version of the Fresh Prince and Tr. Or the Cheers song, same thing where you like, Dan, that thing goes deep.

Oh, when your boy for girlfriend is a boy. Me and Dan Lakata at SNL, we wrote a J.G. Wentworth sketch where we would have, I don't know why, but Lorne Michaels was going to crash the set on a train. And then it's like, it's your money. Use it when you need it. It was a top five bomb for. your boy. That's awesome fun, though. More fun to retail. It was...

Way more fun. It was so fucking good. It's everywhere. Yeah. It was my number seven. That was seven. That was my seven. All right.

Now, my... There was one that could have been number one. Not your turn. Yeah, David. But I'm going to just say... I'm going to... Because of... I go again?

No, me. Oh, sorry. Yeah, Ian. Yeah. Because of some controversies, one had to go away. Oh, I know what you're talking about. I was, it was, yeah. You know?

All right. Because it is a good one. Okay. See, now I feel like we're out of the clue. That was my number one. I think we're out of the clear number one. That was a good number one. Okay.

Yeah. I think when we all sang it out loud, I realize, fuck, that's a great one. Yeah. Yeah. On my list. I didn't even think. That wasn't on your list. I didn't even think of it.

Okay. Well, that, I mean, yeah. Yeah, there is the controversy one that does have to kind of get bounced back. All right, I'm going to go, because I feel like the big number, I got to take a swing on a fucking Janus here, right? Oh, yeah, the guy who might be two years away. I'm going. For a project.

To my childhood. Yeah. I'm taking the Crossfire theme song. Man, on my list for sure. You'll get caught up in the Crossfire. Crossfire. The kids were, crossfire. Crossfire.

They were like homeless kids playing Crossfire. for money in an alley. They were like fucking escaped from New York looking kids. Yeah, they had fingerless gloves and leather jackets. And the kids go like, yeah. Yeah. Everybody looked like their name was Zach. Yeah.

With a K. Yep. Yeah. Crossfire. Cross fire. There was lightning striking it. Like they were playing. Crossfire from Parker Bros.

It seemed like one of the kids was going to die if he lost. When was this Crossfire commercial? 90s. Oh, really? 90s. Like 88. It's like. 89.

It's very young for me. There's another commercial in that era that I'm going to pick later, but that one's good. Here's a still from it. Yeah. That's the vibe. I got Crossfire because of that commercial straight up. I'm going to be honest, I don't remember that. How are you?

I'm 30. I just turned 36. Oh, it's in, it was on Nickelodeon all the time. You ever hang out with bad kids who tried to take the gun off the crossfire? Those little beads? Yeah. Those beads were metal, weren't they? Yeah.

Like what you'd find in a cannonball. Damn. It looks like Mad Max. It seriously does. Crossfire. Yeah. It's like Bayblade. Oh, you're that phase long.

Yeah. It is. It's like Bayblade. It's the same concept. I like to think that that guy thought that was a stepping stone to his actual music career. I thought it should have been.

Babe, this is how. Vince Neil did it. First I'm on crossfire, next I'm on tour. I wonder who... Good voice? No, and it didn't have to hit as hard as it did. No. It made such a fucking impact on a young Ian Carmel, watching David the gnome.

You know what I mean? Whatever. David, the good cut. Good cut. Right? Yeah. Yeah, so that's... Crossfire all day.

That's my first one. And then I think I got to go more... You know what? Maybe I'm going to go. I'm going to take it way back. I'm going to take it way back. I'm going to say, well, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner. That is what I truly like to be.

Because if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner, all the world would be in love with me. I think I know that from that cartoon more than I know it. I didn't know it. But you know it. Is it Dr. Katz? What's the cartoon? Where the, he sings. The critic?

Is it the, is it on the critics? Is he singing the critic? Is that John Lovett? It's that animation style. That's where I got it though, is one, a cartoon singing. Yeah. That was, because he sings it like he belts out the last part, like, everyone.

That's the critic, I think. Okay. Yes, it is. It's from the episode they did with the Simpsons. Weird. Yeah. Yeah, it was, uh, and then seeing the Wiener Mobile around town? Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. I still get jazz when I see the Wiener Mobile. I do. I do, too. I realized there were more than one. Kind of devastated. I thought there was the one

that would drive around the whole country all the time. Your initial feeling is devastation, but then you think about, oh, we got a fleet of these, and that's fucking America to me. Yeah. That's America. No, you know, it would be cool

to see like eight of them drive together. That would be powerful. 19 aircraft carriers. Yeah. Thousand Wheeler mobiles. They should drive them instead of having jets fly over during games.

Yes. If they were a benevolent Trump, if they were like a Trump but the vibes were switched, but the attitude is the same. Yeah. That would have been the 250th anniversary. Yeah.

It would have been for the first time. Back-to-back Wieners. For the first time in history, all the Wienermobiles are in one place at one time. Except for one, which we have underground. But then do you worry that's almost like having the royal family all at one party? I think we have one designated survivor. If you want to destroy our whole morale as a country, you blow up all the Wiener. That's why I'm saying we have one underground, Fort Knox.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Designated Survivor Key for Southerland. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense. But, like, all the Weedermobiles descending on, like, D.C. Is there a... So if all the, like, top politicians have to be gathered in one place, do they have a designated

survivor? Yeah, yeah, that's real. Okay. So, like, if the president, the vice, whatever, they all got to be there. Like, during the state of the union, usually, like, the secretary of labor or whatever will be, like... Southwestern somewhere. Yeah.

And you said it's called designated survivor? Yeah. That has to be, like, a Dean Coontz. What's the Sutherland, Joey? I first saw the own TV show. Yeah. Oh, that's the other see what Dean Coons looks like?

No. Go ahead and put eyes on. Oh. Is it Coons? Is that the one who looks in seeing? That's one that Adam's always talking about? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm not going to lie. I'm going to be rocking that hair when I'm 60. Coons head. Oh, my God.

Look at this mushroom-looking guy. Look at this. He's a toad stool from way back. Yeah. Wow. That's not. Is that Coons with the stash in here? Young Coons with the stash.

Young Coons. Whoa. Oh, so you know what happened with all Coots, dude. What? That hairline started receding and then he started mushrooming over the top, swooping the bag. So those are like from the, so it's like an office or a back comb over. Coons is swooping. Mm-hmm.

That's interesting. Who doesn't love swooping in on some Coons? You got to swoop in. Isaac knows all about that. Isaac's grown his hair long. This is a week later, how's the status report that we would imagine. It looks about the same. By the time this airs, I'm sure it's going to be like shoulder length.

As long as you've gone without a haircut. Like recently. Out a haircut? Well, like, recent. Don't cheat. Are you on schedule? I caught my own hair. So it's every two weeks from me.

You're so goddamn smooth. Cut your own hair. Do you think? I was broke is what I was. Well, when I started doing that. We don't know if you're going to be actually growing your hair long. But let's say a world where you do. Would you be able to live through?

that like middle phase. That's the tough as far. Everybody looks disgusting. When your hair is just past your ears or whatever. And I don't wear hats too. So that's the tough thing. Maybe you become a hat guy briefly. Maybe.

Get like a craw-truck. Get a Dukati. Wear the helmet everywhere. Me and Kells on Dukotis. Lock that body. Complicated process to avoid looking. Well, Kells getting in there made it even more complicated. Me and Kells on Dakotis.

Dave, time of your second pick. Okay. I'm kind of inspired by you going old school. There's some good old ones. I think I'm going tootsie roll. Ooh. Tootsie roll, how I want you chocolate eat you. Tootsie roll, I think I'm in love with you.

I don't know. Whatever it is, I think I see becomes a tootsie roll to me. All right, I got there at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what year was that? Oh, man. 60s. Civil rights.

That's what wrote it, actually. Scott King wrote it. A lot of people don't know that. Okay, I look at Tootsie Roll song and it was like, the 69 boys released there. Let me see that To Tutsi Roll. That's a great one, too. Chocolate Chaney, sweet, girls, let me see that Tudgy Roll. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Do a left to the left? Yeah, that was a good time. Man, remember what everybody was doing the Titsy Roll? Are you playing that at the wedding? Come on. Get it on the left. Let me send a text. Tutsi roll was a dance I thought I could do back in the day.

I bet you could hit a Tutsi roll right now. Because it was this one, right? It was like, yeah, hit a Tutsi roll right now. Stand up hit a Tutsi roll. Isaac. I don't know it. Chalky Tilly Tutsi roll. That looks good.

To a left. To a front. To the front. Now slide. Oh, I thought you were to say good. Yeah. The shit he's going to be doing at the dance floor at your wedding is going to be fucking phenomenal. You're going to, I bet the dice are getting rolled.

Dice are getting rolled. Oh, I'll do the knee thing. I was thinking about having some dice at the wedding just in case. Just some dice in a bowl? Yeah. That would be dice. There's a bowl of dice friend who was trying to bet money. There's going to be some people with singles.

Oh, that's right. The Titsy roll song. Tizzy roll song. Yep. So I'm seeing 1986. That's when it started? to go earlier. I thought it was super rolls.

I love a tutsi roll. I do too. You know what I've talked with the Twitsies. What are those? The flavor Tutsi's one. I was just going to say the colored ones. Those are bigger. They're bigger than a regular Tutsi roll.

Those. I'm going to, those things went crazy. Here's a hot take. Better than Lafie Taffy's. Oh yeah. No, I can't go there with you. No, I like the texture of the Twitsies.

Yeah. I'm on with you. Lafie Taffy, it takes too long to get to the candy part. The first 10. minutes of Laffy Taffy you're just eating hard shit. And on the other hand, girls shake that Laffy Taffy. Well, yeah. Pretty good.

I'm looking for Mrs. Bubblecum. I'm Mr. Chico Stick. I want to do-a-to-tut. Oh, because you're so thick. Yeah, obviously that. Bump. Don't take that Laffy-Taffy. Right?

Yeah. Oh, no, man. I can't do anything. I still feel bad, so. Oh, don't feel bad. I'm going to feel bad for months. Stop it. I could not be more over it.

that's the problem with this is I'm a tea kettle and you're like a cooler you know what I mean you can say you can say pussy what's a nice word I heat up quick and I cool down fast but you're like you're like what are those really expensive coolers they got now I don't know whatty it's always been that way too I're like a Yetty where you're going to hold that temperature for a long I try to think back like was I was I always been I remember my buddy's 21st birthday I was like 23 and there were things to do that night. One of them was hang out with my girlfriend, which we were barely hanging on. The other one was go to my friend's birthday party.

And they all got mad at me because I didn't go. And I just cried in front of like a whole party of my friends. And they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So you did go. You went to a different party? I went to hang out with my girlfriend earlier. And then I went to his 21st birthday party at like midnight

or something. And they were giving me shit. I started crying and like, no, no, no, no. We're not that mad. I'm just saying. And I was 23. So. I'll be even more, man, if you stay. If I should start crying. If you keep thinking about it. What about that?

Now I set you up in an impossible situation. You'll probably get a big long text about it. Right when I land back in Portland. Okay, okay. If it's after two airplane bourbons, I'll take it. Steven, never your second pick. So I think I'm going to go with a safe pick, but it's also the controversial pick. Oh, yeah, do it.

And I hope we're thinking of the same one. I've got to be. must be typing it in already. The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup. That's the controversial one? Yeah. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Why is that controversial?

Because when I associate Fulgers, I associate it with the weird incest commercial from the 2000s. My wife and I were talking about it before this. Really? It's crazy. You guys haven't seen the incest commercial? I've seen it. It's crazy. It's nuts.

What? It's a brother comes home from college and surprises his sister. And there's like a, correct if I'm wrong, Ian, there's a bow like that they found. And then she puts it on him and she says, you're my present. You're my present. Yes. Oh, you guys are purves. She just loves her brother.

It's a little incesty. I mean, and we're not the only ones for thinking that. I've seen it. Who does that? We're going to get home to his sisters. Sisters Punch Brothers. It's romance coded. Yeah, it's so romance coded.

Yeah. So we're saying, you two are saying there's like an offensive jingle now, like a jingle that has been canceled. The one that I'm thinking of is it's a problem. It's tied to somebody. If I pick it, then I can't be faulted. I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm interested, but don't say it in case I was going to pick it. I just think, I just think it's a traditional classic jingle.

It's a great jingle. It's a great jingle. It's a holiday time jingle. It's a holiday time jingle. Look up the incest commercial and then hit us up in the comments. Yeah. If you think David's right. Look at the top comments on that YouTube.

Everyone's like these two are fucking. Yes. Seems like they filmed a commercial where two. I haven't seen it in a long time. Seems like a commercial where two people are fucking. They ran it and they got back like. Roleplay. That makes it worse.

What the fuck? What the hell? That sucks. At least that you guys haven't been on any porn site recently? they're very careful about saying they're step siblings on those oh yeah that's true no matter how hard you look

it seems like on this one it seems like they shot a commercial where they were fucking and they were like didn't test well let's make them brother and sister and the director's like I can fix that with one shot and it's when he opens the door brother that's like brother that's true

you know honestly that's why we keep paying you Rick yeah fucking nailed that's right that's why you got also saying we cross the fix you'll get caught up in the Also I have this new movie jingle all the way I think you're the guy Great song

That the best part of waking in a This fogeers in your car I do like the smell of coffee I stepped on it Didn't somebody like Wasn't the original Folders coffee jingle by like I thought there was a longer one

About a trucker coming home There is they have like There's more versions Yeah there were like long ones I think that was Donald Fajon's first thing was a Folders commercial. I just, I remember those commercials on winter break. Uh-huh. Like when you were home from school.

There were Christmas ones for days. Yeah, they were Christmas all. That's how I remember it always. 84 it debuted. Same year Ian Carmel debuted. Only thing I like about hot coffee is the way it smells. You don't like your paste? I mean, I just don't like it hot.

I don't, I never want it ever again. You like hot drinks. Wait, I'm sorry. back to the commercial, one of the comments says, siblings do act this way. Just ask my sister and our kids. It's pretty funny. Sean, time for your second and third picks.

Will you pick the time bomb? I don't think so, but I'm going to go, I don't want to grow up. I'm a Toys of Us kid. There's a million toys or toys of Russ that I can play with. From bikes to trains to video games. Oh, I said aeroplanes. Oh, I said video games.

It's the greatest toy store there is. Gee whiz. I don't want to grow up because, buddy, if I did, I couldn't be a Toys R Us kid. Dang. Good job. Great. Now I get it. We didn't have, you should.

We didn't have a Toys R Us. I was so bummed about it. Yeah, you didn't hate. You fucking Haseed. But we got a Toys R Us when I was probably a junior in high school. And I was just like, too old for Toys R Us. KB Toys R Us could not hold Toys R Us's fucking Gar-Russ's fucking Garter Us was a building. Toys R Us was the size of.

of another little mall. KB Toys always looked like a gang had run through there seconds before you got. Like the walking dead. Yeah, the Foot Clan Kids. That was the first place they went. You remember those shopping sprees they used to do on Nickelodeon?

One of those through Toys or Us. Yeah. Oh, man. I used to call in. You'd call in to Snick and like they'd do the giveaway or whatever. And it was one of the first times. Nickelodeon Snick. Yeah.

I remember my mom trying to temper my expectations every time because I'm like, well, I'm good. get through and she's like, if you don't, it's fine. Yeah. You know? And her just thinking like, how am I going to weather this when he for sure doesn't get through? I still remember the smell of walking into a Toys R Us. It's,

Giant Toys. It was the best. I mean, it was a warehouse. Yeah. Of toys. It was the fucking. Seriously. I mourn the fact that my kid will never really know that feeling because they don't really

have them like that anymore. No, you're buying everything online. Yeah. Says here there's a Toys R Us in Glendale. That can't be right. I try to go get stuff at stores whenever I can. I don't love order in it. No.

I just, I don't know. I like to go to Target, whatever, go run to the store and get something. I don't like, like if I need body wash or whatever, I don't. Body wash. I still love a, bodily wash. I still love going to like a Best Buy. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Especially now that I have a little coin. Yeah. Because Best Buy was aspirational for a while. Yes, it was. What if you could go back? What if I could buy a router? What if you could go back to 2005 with the money you have now? I wouldn't have it very long.

Brother, I would have quite a few MP3 players from band. Oh, my God. I would have so many CDs. I would have been a DJ. I would have got like an MPC. I'm sure of it. One of the best feelings I've had as an adult was like going to Best Buy and buy a PS5. Just walk out with it.

Like, because I was like, I was never going to get this. If I did, it would be for Christmas. but to just fucking go in. It's like cheating. Yeah. I watched this guy by a phone one time. In April? Yes.

It's like that you don't even realize people could do. Yeah. I could just go buy it and play right now. How long did you save up? No, I just had the money. I just had the money. I felt like that when I got my car. I'm like, I have a car now?

I didn't have a car earlier. Now I have a car? One day, we went to the gallery and I watched you buy a phone. I'm like, I thought you had to go through Verizon and pay for it. You just buy a phone? I didn't. I had no idea. It was awesome.

It was right when I got here. penguin meat too you gotta know a guy yeah that's tough that's tough but you can just have it yeah that's tougher there was a sushi spot by the airport that was doing whale meat what yeah yeah by the airport the Santa Monica airport oh that that makes more sense yeah yeah yeah yeah which is also near the other airport would you eat whale meat yeah yeah what does it taste like uh I don't know okay yeah does it does it taste like car in the mountain you're trying to get you were trying to fucking catch me in Yeah, you've done 500 episodes, so you're pretty slick. Yeah.

Can't pin me to my whale meat habit. Sean, your third pick. This is tough. I've done 498 episodes. Wait, what was the other one? Oh, yeah. Apparently whale meat tastes more like land meat than seafood. It was not good.

I had it in Norway once. Oh, you did? It's not good. I didn't like it. What if we renumber the episodes and then just make one of these new ones 500? So we'd make one of the other ones 500. What if you make this pig? Shit, now you're mad at me.

I'm over. All right, I'm going to go to the candy bars here. That's like going to the mats. Oh, man. Go to the mattresses. Oh, no. All right. Give me a break.

Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. Give me a break. Hey, give me a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't even know. You can't bar is filmed in front of a live studio on it.

I don't, were we just talking about this? I don't really break them. I'll eat the whole square. I eat them fucked up too. Yeah. I had them fucked up. I like taking a bite out of it. I like breaking them.

If I break them, I eat the whole stick in one bite. I like, I break it in half in my mouth and put the other half in it. What is Kit Kats? It's technically just wait for, just chocolate weight on. Chocolate and wait for it. You know, it's rip off. I'll tell you that. It's crazy.

It's like, pick is topical because this year someone stole like 30 tons. worth of Kit Katz in Sweden or something shit. They have a lot of crazy I went to the Kit Katz they had at least in Japan were nuts. Really? Yeah.

They have like sweet potato. Oh yeah. They got wasabi. They have it was Kit Kat branded but they had like crazy cherry strawberry. They got them all. I've had a wasabi kicket. Green tea.

They had some weird ones here once. In there? Yeah. Green tea. Yeah. They're all really good. Somebody sent me a one of those weird candy websites. Who? I don't know.

Shadows. Like hitting the comments. but they sent me a link. Which comment thread? Instagram or YouTube? I read every single comment on the internet. Okay. I don't.

Bold move. I don't. Okay. But anyway, I ordered some weird candy. I ordered some, it wasn't a kit cat, but there was a bunch of Kit Katz on there.

She goes to take? Yeah, Tira Masu Kit Kat. Well, I have two indulgent days planned. One, I want to do a big breakfast cereal day where I get all the,

like, fucking breakfast cereals. And I want to do another little, like, candy bar excursion. Yeah. We've done serials, right? Oh, yeah, we did it at Bridgetown with that. That's right. Shane Torres took candy caramel corn with milk board on it.

As a cereal. As his first pick? Nah, somewhere as a pick. That's such a Shane thing to say. Fuck you, Shane. Yeah, fucking weirdo. Stephen's on your third pick. Sorry, I don't mean to harp on this, but there was a massive European chocolate

heist where they stole 12 tons of... Yeah, I got diarrhea. Of Kit Kat Barz. Got diarrhea. They never got caught. Like, this should be a fucking movie. That should be a movie for sure. The Chocolate Heist.

The Chocolate Heist. The Big Chocolate Heist at 2026. It was in Sweden. It was specifically Kit Kat bars. So, what are you going to do with all that? That's my wife. It happened in my bathroom this movie. That's my last chocolate heist poop.

400,000 Kit Kat bars. What do you do with it when you got it? How do you unload that? You shell them all for Verruca's salt. You set it on fire joker style? It's about respect. Everything burns. You're in front of Willy Wonka's house just to let him know you don't fucking, you don't give a fuck.

That's so sick. texting that to myself. Not the joke, the story. I want to laugh about that later. I'm going to have a good long laugh. I want to laugh about that in the bathtub later. eating Kit Katz. Steven,

over your third pick. I'm going to go with a deep cut. This is one of my ones that I was worried you guys were going to take. But maybe you guys are going to be like, I don't remember this shit at all. But I'm going to go with

get connected for free called education connection. Oh shit. Got a crush on that girl. So, yeah. I don't remember that. I don't know that.

This was specifically if you called in sick to work or in school, you would see like, they knew. They knew who they were marketing to. Yes.

Online school. And it was a, and it was a white woman doing a rap about. Is this similar to the guy who was in the parking lot? Like,

you don't got shit to do. You're a fucking loser. Pretty. It was that. It was right in that vein. But yeah, this girl. Like,

like, it's a fucking bop. This is the one where she's up, there we go. That's the one I'm picturing. And she's like performing in front of a green screen.

Yeah, for sure. You flip it to me, Ian? you ever heard all? I need the sound. Yeah. Yeah. Internet and found education

Connection. I don't remember this? No, I like it. Yeah, I remember. Yeah. Education connection. And it was early internet when everyone's like, whoa.

I mean, the line, so I went on the internet and found education connection. You know that Penn fucking. caught on fire when they wrote that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It fucking works. Well, you know, it was actually ghostwritten by Cameroon.

I guarantee you whoever wrote that, it was like, I'm trying to parlay that until like legit songs. You just put other words in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was a staple if you watched Mori. Yeah. A lot of these commercials are not on more commercials. My troubled teen is out of control.

is Mori the one that maintained the whole show was real he never said it was anything was fixed or anything Mori's still around I don't move it I don't know if the is it it was like originally Mori was like a lot of topics like it was like

my remember that girl you were mean to well look at her now and she's all hot or the boot camp episode Oh Trouble Teens of Boat Camp ones but then a lot of like that you're not the dad Wasn't that boring? Then it became exclusively paternity test. Oh, okay.

Yeah. But he says none of it was fixed, right? I thought, I'm pretty sure he was the one. Because like Jerry Springer came out and said that that wasn't always all real, of course. I think the paternity test stuff was real. Was rigged? Was rigged? Why, I don't know.

I'm wondering. For good TV. I remember there being like, do you need a free paternity test called this? Sure. Number. Yeah. If you don't have the 20 box or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or like if you think your spouse is lying, call this, yeah. We'll fly you out for free. Be sure you want to know. Yeah. But yeah, 1-800 connection, man. Yeah. Povich retired in 2022, hung up the boots. Man, he was really going.

Yeah. Yeah, he had a run. Yeah. Or he povich. He's married to someone famous, too. Yeah, he's married to like Connie Chung. Connie Chung? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Connie Chong since 84. Who was Larry King married to? The game, I think. I think he was married to the game. I think he had like a hot, blonde wife. Okay. I think. That sounds right.

I bet Larry King was swinging meat, dude. For sure. You take one look at him. All the King's men. For sure. He was married to a lot of women, Sean. He was married to Frieda Miller. Annette K.

Aline Aiken's. Mickey Shuttpin. He was read to Alien Aiken's twice. Her name is Alien? Alien. Oh, sorry. Aiken. He was Aiken for some more, though.

On two consecutive occasions. And then Mickey Sutton, and then Sharon Lepore, Julie Alexander, and finally Sean Southwick. Whoa. The Alien Aiken's marriage was a sandwich, actually. They were married, and then he married Mickey Sutton. Oh, yeah. And then he went back to Aileen. He did the two non-consecutive terms.

Not one of those times. He's like, let's just not. get married right away. Let's be together for a while without getting married. King, dude. Not Larry. He's buried in a hillside Memorial Park here in L.A. Buried King.

Two plots, one for him, one for his dick. Then a whole cemetery for X-wives. Yeah, he's actually next to the two Milton Burrell plots. That's right. David, time for your third pick. But first, a break. We'll be back with moral fantasy. see everything.

And we're back. From Parks Unknown. David Bore, it's time for you a third pick. Oh, man, this is such a stereotypical commercial for me. Mentos. The Fresh Maker?

Fresh goes better. Mentos, freshness. Fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life. Mentos, the Freshmaker. That shit. And the commercial is always somebody like cheating to do something.

That should be. He's like, oh no, on a bench. Yeah. In striped suit. In striped suit. That was my first exposure to...

Sex? Sex. I lost my virginity to a Mentos commercial. And with a Mentos commercial. To the notion that something could be... Because I was like, these don't feel American to me. And they weren't. They were like...

Those Mentos commercials, I think, because there was no ever any talking in them. Because the main one I think of is the suit one. But there were other ones. They moved a little like a fiat or something. They moved a car in one. there was one that moved a car. There was one where a guy went through a car. It was like or over a boat or something.

They had to go through someone's car because they were like, like, went in through the passenger door and got out on the driver's side back door or some shit. Yeah. Something like that. But it was always like they were doing a work test. It was where Ari Gold found Vincent Chase was a Mentos commercial. Oh. That's where he found.

Mentos doesn't even really sound like American Candy. No, it sounds, I don't know. They're from the Netherlands. Netherlands. The one that I saw was a girl broke her shoe or high heels. Off up in someone? What's that? She broke her heel and then she just broke her second one so she's wearing flats.

And the guy's like, that's hot. What kind of bad shit crazy world are we living? You got the job, babe. I don't care how many WPMs you're type. Yeah. They were just very like, your... European like sort of uncanny valley Americanism

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. That's fair. But that song fucking went. It was so good. And the Foo Fighters parodied the commercial in one of the songs. I don't remember. Was it learning to fly?

It was one of them. It wasn't learning to... Monkey Ranch? I don't remember what that song was called. But yeah, that video was really funny. Yeah, it was really funny. Futos, the Fresh Fighter. How did it...

Big Me? It was for Big Me. How did that song start? Something better than how. Because it was red on. When mento's fresh and full of life Fresh goes better Mentos fresh

Fresh goes better With mentos fresh and full of life And it's such a good song But then when it hits the end note It's like fuck what a Yeah What a closer Yeah

I didn't know I was in a field today Mentos Isaac you want to fucking bring down The house of karaoke I should learn that You should a cappella the Mentos song Yeah And then do that right into the Pokemon theme

Oh shit Got to catch them all. Got a fresh them all. Got a fresh a mall. You do a mashup. You teach me and I'll teach you Mentos freshness. And is mento's fresh? Mentos fresh.

Mentos mind? Because it's all that to me. Sorry. Is mentos considered a candy? Is it? Well, they have fruit ones. They have fruit ones. Right.

Is it considered a candy? Or is it a mint? Or is it a mint? Yeah. It's like a hybrid. It's honestly about the only one. Live. Because you can just fucking.

a whole package of and you're like, mince. Yeah, they're mince. They're mince. I don't like you have any calories.

You know, that's the mints. What the fuck? I said that with such conviction. Mentos is, it's like, it's like, it's like the potato diet. You can eat as many mentos as you want.

Coles who can't eat as many potatoes as you want, David. Okay. And that's why, and that's why they fucking blow up when you put them in cokes. I bet you don't know what they're made of. What about. What a poops aren't weird at all.

Mentos are the mints from Christopher Mince Place. Whoa. I didn't know. he was dynastic. Yeah. They called me Mr. Dynastic. Semi-phontastic.

Time for my third and fourth picks. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh. Here's one that I heard first through a ska cover. And then, it turned out it was a commercial itself.

Yum, yum, bumblebee, bumblebee tuna. I love bumbleby bumblebee tuna. Yum, yum, bumblebee, tumblebee tuna. Love a sandwich made with Bumblebee. That does sound like a ska song. Yeah, it does. Who did it? Methaskopheles.

Glad you asked. Scoffelies nuts in your mouth. You're on fire. If I don't tell you a lot, you're hooping to do. I only heard Bumblebee tuna ever in Ace Ventura. I've never heard that song. I never heard the song either. Because he's like bumblebee tuna, bumblebee tuna.

I didn't even know it was a real brand of tuna. Hold on. Let me make sure that was. I assumed. Ian, that might be the Anthony. Ian, that might be the Anthony Bennett of the dress. Oh, no way. Hold on.

Ian plays a song here that we can't use for copyright reasons. I don't know how to explain it, but this is pissing me on. No. I don't know what to tell you. You like it. I just telling you how I feel. Did you ever like any, Scott? I like real big fish.

Is there a phone charger? over there? No. Fuck. You like that. I like real big fish. You like that. If I get drunk and I pass out on the floor.

Real big fish and that though. Matt, those are the two things. No, I hated that. I don't know why. Really, as it built up, I found myself getting madder and mad. No, no, no, no.

You liked it. I'm just, that's how I felt. I also didn't enjoy it. Yeah, everyone else in this room? It's not even didn't enjoy it. It pissed me off.

I'm not trying to gaslight you, but both of you really liked it. Listen, man, I don't know I don't know Yeah, it's crazy Because it didn't like it It seemed like a lot The beginning was a little gnarly

It was gnarly The beginning sucked almost as bad as the middle You didn't even get to the middle That's how I felt You just heard the two beginning Really? Because it felt like I heard it six times It gets weird No way

I know that song pretty well It would piss you off more The further Really? Scal's Jamaican? Well, originally Not Memphis scoffalies isn't. Here we are.

Methasophiles isn't. He wasn't born in Kingston. He does a fake Jamaican voice later on in the song. Well, that's, they have to. Yeah. Yeah. He, but the band Memphis Scholar. So, a quick story.

Girl and I in high school, we had crushes on each other. We made mixtapes for each other. The first mixtape I made for her. You've been doing that for a long time. I've been in the mixtape. It's my primary love language. But full of romantic songs. She sent me one.

one back, full of romantic songs. I sent her another one full of romantic songs. She sent me one back that had that Mephasophilies bumblebee tuna cover on it. And I was like, ah, it's over. And it was. Oh, what the way. Wait, I guess I didn't read the... Everything had cooled.

We had had this, like, burgeoning crush. And then, like, sending mixtapes back, for burning CDs. And then when she sent me the one with the bumblebee tuna cover, it was kind of her, like, telling me... Because everything else had been like... This is the language I don't speak. High school. and it had like chess.

It had Bangkok, One Night in Bangkok on it. Oh, so not you're like, she's just playing in my face. These are not fucking songs. Yeah. Not that we were fucking. But like, one night in Bangkok is not. That's a banger. It's a great song.

And the world's your oyster. Damn. Thailand. That's right. What? Oh. Oh, no, no. I really put you guys like, there's no way he was going to name the two countries in the

Middle East. Iraq and Iran. I remember my fourth pick. I want chicken. I want liver. Miao Mix, meo mix. Yeah.

Please deliver. Yeah, that was huge. Miao, meow, meow, meow, meow, meo, meo, meo, meo, meo, meo, meo, meo, meow, meo, meow, meo, meow, meow, meow. Miao, it's such a cute. The cats were, the cats were moving their mouths. Miamix.

Is that good cat food? We don't buy it. I like it. Yeah. You know, put in a casserole. Yeah. Put it in the big green egg. How do you think you think you stay rich?

I've heard it's like, McDonald's for cats, that kind of stuff. Like Meow Mix, 9 lives. Like bad for them. It's like fast food for cats. That's the word. I don't want to piss you off even more, but there is a boy band remix

of Meowmix? Of Meowmix? I didn't fucking, which is up at all? No, no, no. They had like CGI cats being like meow, meow, meow, meow. It's a fucking bummer. Sounds like 98 degrees.

Yeah. 99, nine live degrees? Let's get there. Get out of the sink. Get out of the sink. Cats in the sink instead of insink. Yeah. Oh, cats in the...

Cats and sink. I don't know. The Cat Street Boys, I'm not... Something like that. That's the closest we've got in there. I think, yeah. Color me bad kitty. New kitten is on the block.

Oh, there it is. That was what we were all working towards. Yeah. Kitty's to cats. Yeah, kitty's to cats. Yes. Yes. Yes.

David, time for your fourth pick. I, this is just in my heart. I got to say Kraft mac and cheese. Craft, Kraft, mac and cheese, craft cheese. Specifically the one with the little girl belting out where she's got, Mom's got the night off daddy's running the show. Oh, yeah. You want to keep me happy.

Here's what you got to know. I want the blues. Yeah. Craft macaroni and cheese. I got the blues. I got the blues. The Blue Box Blues. Yeah.

That's a great. That was a good one. That was a good one. That was a good one. That was a good one. John Lee Hooker. And I, and I always loved that one.

I don't even, I don't even, I don't even, I don't even. I don't even. I don't even. We were rocking the Blue Box kid like that. A lot of people were. I just wasn't even. So I didn't, I really, and not that I had it that much, but I really only had baked mac and cheese until I became like an adult. Look at you.

Yeah. Because my mom just never, I think being an immigrant, there's some shit that like, if you're from another country, you look at and you're just like, this is just not food. Well, that's right. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like I think she was just like, she was just like, this is nuts. She was Carmel. This is nuts. Grew up in Foster Road, Southeast Portland.

She was blue box. Damn here where I currently live. Yeah. Man, that's crazy. Yeah. I live kind of by where she grew. You guys remember that mac and cheese used to have like the, the car. cartoon themed or movie theme.

Yeah, like you get Hey, our old mac and cheese. My mom would never let me get that stuff. Oh, he was so mad. There was always special edition back in cheese. Yeah, they were shaped like the characters. They're still doing special stuff. Do you remember kids cuisine? Yeah.

With the penguin on the cover? Yeah. And the brownie dessert. Get that brownie from the kids cuisine. Fucking microwave mashed potatoes. Oh my God. There would be like a peach cobbler that would get so much hotter than everything else. Was it just lean cuisine for kids?

Was it the same company? I think so. It has to be. Yeah. But more chemicals. You know what I like that was microwave only was those French bread pizzas. Oh, yeah. For the paninis?

You ever had to fold over on the top of the box? You ever have someone bring home one of those oven-only situations? Yeah. Not anymore, but when I was a kid. For a pizza. Hot pie in an oven, like one of those banquet ones in an oven is crazy to me. Who's got the time for that? They're meant to be there for three.

What is the problem with those? You read the back. It's like microwave three to five minutes oven. 45 minutes. Some of them were oven only. Yeah, the banquet was. The $1 dollar banquet ones were oven only. I got that kind of time? I got an oven. By that time, I'd drive to the restaurant. Yeah. Get a goddamn pot pie.

It's a different fantasy draft, but grocery items, red robin pizza was to me just like, I think it's Red Baron? Red Baron. Red Baron. Oh, Red Baron. My favorite's Tombstone. I'm with you. In those like... Oh, I loved it. I like a Dijorno. It was, like, felt classy. I prefer. that to the midrange.

I'd take a red bear in like bottom rung over like whatever California pizza pizza. I feel that way about New York pizza. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was good was Tony's.

You guys ever had. Oh, Tony's was the shit. Tony's had the mini pizzas at Sam's. Tony's was cheap. Tony's like $2.50 for a pizza. Tombstone's like seven bucks. You know what I'm doing with that $5? Buying two more Tonys.

Because Tony's was one of those ones where you're like, well, we each get our own pizza. Yeah. Yeah. Like three boys, everybody's getting at their own Tony's. We're not splitting, yeah. Yeah. And the mascot look like Mario, but as a chef.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. If you're going to sue us, you've got to find us. Aldi and Carmel stand up. You look like should be on the cover of Pizza Box. M-W-W-Hack and I was a little heftier. Stephen, time for your fourth pick.

All right. This one, I'm glad that I got, and I don't think you guys will get this one. I don't know if it's in your radar, but it's a F-R-E-E. that spells free credit report.com, baby. Oh, yeah. These guys rocked. They did like 12 different

commercials. Yeah, they did like Yeah. They were like an actual band, right? They were, right. Well, it turns out they weren't. The lead singer had an accent that was so thick because he's French-Canadian

that he was dubbing. Oh, these guys. Yeah, they did tons of them. Yes. So I did some research this morning. Yeah. And the guy that actually wrote and performed these songs is not in the commercials. His name is David Mullenfield.

Okay. Found his website. And there is an option where you could contact him. Whoa. And I emailed him this morning. What? And the email says, Hello, David.

On behalf of me and my team, I'm proud to announce that we are drafting you at number six. and the greatest commercial jingles of all time fantasy draft, send me your address so I can mail you a hat with my initials on. That's so funny. Has you responded yet? Well, I just realized there was a typo on behalf of me and my time instead of me and my time. That's all right.

That's all right. I think emails are coming through a day over there. But I feel bad because I actually drafted him earlier than originally expected. That's all right. I thought Kit Kat was still going to be on the board. and um... Taken. Yeah,

and J.G. Wentworth. That one really fucked me. Yeah. He jumped. Yeah. He fucking jumped. He jumped. Um,

great pick. I had forgotten about that until just now. That was another, that was another daytime commercial one that they played heavily. A lot. Predatorreport.com, baby. Sean,

your fourth and then your final picks. We'll do a lightning round. All right. Clap on, clap off. The clapper. Oh, the clapper. Oh, the clapper. Not really singing, but kind of, no instruments.

Acapella. Yeah. Clappapella. Claps. Clap on, clap off. The clapper. Did you ever encounter one of those? No.

Joey had one. And my buddy Joey had one. You had to, the perfect clap was all it would do. You couldn't do that. You had to go like, like that. I'm pretty annoying. I applied myself on my clap. Huh?

I have a loud clap. Let's hear it. Yep. Those would have worked. Yeah. We had them at Sylvan House. Yeah. Didn't really catch on.

No, because it was too hard to do. It's not very good. If you could have done that, right. But it wasn't like that. It was annoying. And then you had to shut the lights off. When I'm practicing my tap dancing, the lights are going on and off and on and on. It's messing up my camera.

It's like a fucking rabies. I have epilepsy. They were also delayed. They were super delayed. Like you would be like, light. Like if somebody broke in, that wasn't going to work. You know. So the clapper, and then this is just for me.

I've done it on here before, but it's the old Nestle song that with the white chocolate, the Nestle commercial, the Alpine White, where it goes, creamy white, Nestle White. Nestle makes the very best N-E-S-T-L-E-S. It's awesome. It's for their white chocolate song. I remember the video saying. I love it. It was.

There's a video there in the mountains. How clean it looked. It was crazy. You know who else loved that commercial? Jimmy Fallon. Really? Yeah, because he had a parody of it. Oh, interesting.

Okay. Yeah, I do like it. Fun fact for you to put in your little fact, your fact of file. Preach, bro. I'll tell them at the airport. Steven, have your final pick. For my final pick, I'm going to go with when you have nausea, heartburn, indigestion. Oh, that's the way.

Diary. Diary. That's going to be my final pick. Not a lot of people know this, but one of my favorite. words is diarrhea. You're right. So if I hear it, that shit will get me honking like a damn goose. Yeah.

So. The way how he delivers it, it's a, the commercials inside of a plane, flight attendant says it. Fucking. So way that's, diarrhea. Diarrhea. You already had the dance one. Nasia, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea. Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. And unfortunately, I had to admit one that I thought of just now, which was the home. Depot themes. Well, hold on. We're not done with a giraffe. We're not done with the draft. David, your final back?

The Flintstone's vitamins. How'd that one go again? Because we are Flintstones, kids. 10 million strong and growing. That's good. I forgot about that. Yeah, that was one of the,

that's like one of my earliest memories is that. I feel like I remember, this is so, so the time coded, I feel like I remember watching a different world with my mom in that commercial coming.

Yeah. 10 million strong. and growing kids singing I had one that came to me in the middle of this draft it wasn't originally on my list

but I'm gonna take it you're not fully clean until you're zestfully clean Oh wow Yeah that was like a whole song Power pop Yeah Yeah before herbal essences

Started smutting up the bitty My God Jesus clean yourself up Kids are watching this That was great They're just having orgasms You're coming on television Yeah

And then Dr Ruth would be like You'll surprise the body I don't think of an old lady having an or dazzle? That's right. I put it on my pussy. She didn't, did she? No, no, no, no, no. Isaac, do you have one?

McDonald's, I'm loving it. Apparently written by push a tea. Yeah, Push a tea. It's sung by Justin Timberlake did it. That's crazy. It is crazy. What the fuck? Yeah.

Push a T wrote that. Crazy if they needed Push a T for that. I guess it's great. It's fucking in your, it's in your head. It worked. I love it. I'm selling Coke. Push.

He was like, wait. Yoreau, wait. Wait, wait. Wait, I got to make a call. Wait, this is a disputed claim. Oh. That Pusha T says he wrote it, but the other writers are like, no, he didn't. Who were the other writers?

So do you have something to do with it? I believe Puscha T. Yeah, I do too. I believe Puscha. Co-writer's Tom Batoy. Not him. No. Franko Tortora.

Absolutely. No, they didn't write anything. What else? Whoa. I can go for a Franketotora right now. I'd like to get to the book. I'm going to do my own research after this. As you showed on everything.

Honorable mentions. The people who are undrafted free agents. Pop, pop, fizz, fizz. Oh, what a relief it is. Yeah. What's the Home Depot one? Dant. Dant.

Oh, yeah. It is good. That shit will get me. Weekend Warriors. Yeah. Break dancing like crazy. I thought the one that was controversial was J-E-L-L-L-O. J-E-L-L-O.

And I thought it was cars for kids. Oh, the. Because it turned out to be a scam. Yeah. Oh, wow. 1-8-77 cars for kids. But what we did take, Sean, you took baby-back ribs, toys or us, Kit Kat Bar, the Clapper, and Creamy White Nestle.

Stephen you went second. Those are all his nicknames. Riley's auto parts. Folders in your cup. Get connected for free. education connection. Free credit report.com and the Pepto-Bismal Diaryo one.

David, you went third of J.G. Wentworth, Tootsyroll, Mentos, Kraft Macaronian Cheese, and the Flintstones kids. I went last and I took Crossfire, Oscar Meyer Weiner, Bumblebee tuna, David loves it, meow mix, and zestfully clean. Nice. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at AllFamcy Podcast at gmail.com.

Shout out to everyone on the All-Family Everything Patreon. Shout out to our producer, Isaac Kay Lee, who just not knocked out nine AFEs in a row. That's good. Edited one of them. Went to Fogo to Chowell.

It sure did. Complemented me on my Korea soccer jersey. I did. I probably did a bunch of other stuff that we don't even know about. Yeah, we don't even know what he gets up to. Just in the last four days. And he's going to have to edit the fuck out of this episode. We're going to see.

You got a long time for this one. I do have a long time for this. I think you can play commercials. I think so, too. I don't think. I hope so. I hope so. I don't think Crossfire is going to come after us.

Maybe not the Mephistophily song. That's on me. That's my bad. But I did want David to hear it because I know he likes that song. I think it's fair use. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Well, you know, yum, yum.

That was all fantasy. Everything you listened to all fantasy. Everything. You just listen to all fantasy. Everything. Love a podcast. All fantasy. Everything.

Shaggity. That was a hate gum podcast.