All Fantasy Everything - Cozy Things (w/ Amy Miller, Sean Jordan, David Gborie)

Episode Date: December 29, 2022

Get yourself a nice hot chocolate juuuuuuuust big enough for both hands to grasp and have a listen.    Guest:    Amy Miller @amymiller IG: @amymillercomedy Stand-Up: amymillercomedy.com �...� Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.com  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting cozy things. Joining us today is the hilarious stand-up comedian, our friend, Amy Miller. This year, she released a stand-up special and album,
Starting point is 00:00:24 plus she'll be on tour, all of which you can find details about at amymillercomedy.com. This is her 10th appearance on the podcast, and I'm your host, Ian Carmel. Joining me, joining all of us, joining everyone deep in their hearts, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Happy New Year, everybody. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Welcome to a brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Welcome to a brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Welcome to a brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Welcome to a brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.
Starting point is 00:01:16 We're testing Zoom. We are testing Zoom. I recently watched, here's what kind of podcast it is, Hanukkah on Rye on the Hallmark channel. Yeah. So what's the, is the title a pun? It's just because you guys like rye bread. It is two scions of deli owner, like families that own delis.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Okay, I'm out. It is so on the nose it was like one family that owned a deli uh a very successful modern deli in los angeles and one family that owned kind of a more traditional run down but got it where it counts deli in new york the la kid flew to new york to open a new wing of his family's deli in new york oh so've got mail. It's you've got mail and falls in love with the daughter of the New York deli. The only thing is the so the owner of the L.A. deli was this guy, Jeremy Jordan, who's like a Broadway guy and like many straight Broadway guys.
Starting point is 00:02:17 He reads pretty gay. All those straight Broadway guys. Can I can I ask you a question? Yeah, go on. I used to so there's this dude that i used to listen to named jeremy jordan when i was about 11 he had two songs on the 90210 soundtrack one of them was the right kind of love and the other one was i want a girl like that is it and i i cannot tell by looking at the internet is it the same jeremy jordan he's blonde he is white he looks exactly like that dude reads as gay it's not him no i don't because i think this dude is like in his 20s well but to
Starting point is 00:02:49 be fair you were in south dakota in 92 everybody on that show read as gay yeah well that sounds like a christmas movie if this dude was like 45 then it would be the same guy but i i knew i found out about this guy and i was shocked because i still, until just now, thought it could have been the same guy. A guy who was on the 90210 soundtrack would not be 45 now. He would be 67. No, he was probably like 16. He was like a young pop star kid. This guy's 38 now.
Starting point is 00:03:16 They were all 40 on that show in high school. Okay. Yeah. Especially Andrea. So this guy's... And then the female lead was an Israeli woman trying to do a New York accent, but clearly had
Starting point is 00:03:30 an Israeli accent. And it was like you couldn't find a Jewish girl? As someone from a group of people whose holiday movies are directly on the nose, welcome. Except I like that both people are from a major city because in the christmas movies there's always one bumpkin yeah there has to be a bumpkin but you guys were like
Starting point is 00:03:54 la and new york i think la is the smallest city they would be at la was the smallest city they would believe a jew was from. Right. You can't include Miami. This is Christmas. New York and Brooklyn? Let me ask you this. Yeah. Was anyone's mom dead? Because that's a staple of our films.
Starting point is 00:04:14 No, both moms. Every mom is dead. Both moms were alive. Can you say our? Christmas people. Oh. Christians, David. Not only were the moms alive, the grandmothers were alive and they played a major role in it as well sure yeah how many times did they say the word bubby
Starting point is 00:04:33 so fucking much i don't i knew so much sorry the grandmas weren't alive it was just the moms i'm conflating but like the grandmas played played, but they said Bobby so much. Otherwise, how would you know? In a mail where I'm like, if a Jew didn't write this, the amount they say Bobby, it's not as bad as Auschwitz, but it's worse than Bergen-Belsen. Oh, brother, you are
Starting point is 00:04:56 firmly in the minority Christmas genre. Welcome. There's no way a Jew wrote it. No, that's impossible has never employed a jew never one there's a one network not even the retail stores this person had common this person had common yiddish phrases window open on their browser for a solid like 90 90 days right in this thing how many times did they play dreidel? They didn't play, wait. They did play dreidel.
Starting point is 00:05:27 It was great. Also, it was supposed to be the Lower East Side of New York and nothing has been more Vancouver, British Columbia. It was insane. My sister worked at the Hallmark store at the mall when she was in high school.
Starting point is 00:05:43 She stole so much shit. We were dripping with stickers. It was the best. They had so many. I bet those were easy to steal too. Cause you just like. Oh, she took big stuff as well. But it was really the stickers and stamps for me.
Starting point is 00:05:59 I still walk through the Hallmark store at the town center every time I'm there. It's fun. It's like, it's like you're inside Christmas for a second. It's fantastic. Mel's so good. Christmas for a second. It's fantastic. Mel's still good. I don't pick anything up. Not a lot for me anymore, but yeah, I still go in there.
Starting point is 00:06:13 There used to be tons for me. You guys do a tree, right, Sean? Oh, just here at the house? Yeah. I thought you meant the Irish house. No, I know the Irish. We watch In the Name of the Father Christmas day and solemnly look at the ground i mean the jordan the yeah we got a tree we were it's tough because max is like in the phase where she just wants to rip shit down but grab your little she's been pretty cool about the tree we just didn't decorate the bottom so it
Starting point is 00:06:40 looks weird but what do you what do you do do you tell her santa's not coming if she rips any of the ornaments off unfortunately santa's gonna come no matter what she does because she's daddy's little girl and i'm never gonna say no to anything ever so yeah santa's coming and i'm excited for him to get here but i do punish her when she yeah i do punish her when she rips down i put her in the room in the dark put her in her dark room for a few hours you know teach her a lesson i like to imagine santa entering your house like that like a bath in blue light like the way they enter the club and belly yeah real slow yeah real slow yeah i never had the luxury of leaving in santa because my sisters would open all find the gifts before
Starting point is 00:07:24 christmas wherever they were hiding and tell me what all of them were oh no i lived in apartments they never made it wasn't for poor people there was nowhere to hide and the chimney i know we've talked about this but there was nowhere to hide a present in the apartment there was like the closet and then my mom's room which to be fair i didn't really snoop through my mom's room closet yeah yeah with everything for us sean well this is ironic i think i might have believed in santa for the longest out of the four of us well how how queer that's so sad there was just a magical man that wasn't for you that's so that's horrible yeah his name is dad
Starting point is 00:08:06 we did christmas sue carmel like converted to judaism before she married my dad but she was like i'm not giving up christmas oh that which was weird because she didn't even really do christmas when she was growing up but she went like had it you know she had a less than ideal upbringing and decided to go over the top the other way sure and so we had like and still do mega fucking Christmas you do they do the Carmel's do it's fun it's fun to be a part
Starting point is 00:08:36 of the Jordan's were always a little the Ivan the Ivan Carmel's not so much we were always a little little split up right around the holidays so it was like five little christmases with everybody who wasn't fighting like if my aunts were hated each other which to this day we'll have different christmases with four people each i'm like this is this is ridiculous we're gonna go have well there was one time i think we had like four christmases in it like the movie
Starting point is 00:09:01 four christmas but like in a day all with separate people one of them at a coffee shop you're like come on you guys don't even know what they're fighting about anymore a coffee shop but just it's just like can't we can't you guys just pump the brakes for a minute we can all just act like it for a day i don't know oh man when you see that as the barista or server working on christmas it's so sad you're like i'm not at least i'm making time and i have this family they're barely making time i got made i got 1265 to watch this the dad and the new wife and then a mom and a kid who the kid barely knows the dad that kind of stuff where you're just like, yeah, you got to meet on neutral ground.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Yeah. Has a better relationship with a new wife. Somehow no read on the kid. They're just like give an eight year old, like a brand new pair of $200 Tommy Hilfiger jeans. And you're like, what are you doing? Just no,
Starting point is 00:09:59 yeah, but it was $200 though. Jeffrey. No, this is coming out a few days after Christmas. This is too depressing. It's already a depressing time. I mean, it was, well oh i guess i made it out the other end and i'm thrilled about christmas now so absolutely you did what a jam almost gonna be my birthday in two days
Starting point is 00:10:14 yes right yeah yeah right well in the fake timeline on the 30 30th? 31st. The 31st? You're a New Year's Eve baby? Oh, yeah. Big time. I must have known that at some point. Baby New Year. Baby New Year. Sweet little baby New Year. It's her and Solomon back to back.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Yeah, that's right. Baby New Year and Father New Year. He's a Christmas boy. He's a Christmas boy. What do you, is that a bad day? That is a bad day to have your birthday, right? Or how do you, what's it been like for you yeah it's kind of bad um it's more fun now but when i was a kid my parents would just like go out leave me with a babysitter now it's kind of cool it's just an annoying i can't
Starting point is 00:10:57 ever like really make dinner plans on my birthday it has to be like a brunch thing because it's just so crazy everywhere you can't go do anything you can't be like hey let's meet anywhere you just you gotta meet at the crib it's like denny's is trying to do like a prefix menu exactly oh it's so obnoxious then like i swear to god one restaurant could make a killing just by like just having a normal dinner right is it weird that i know that in an alternate timeline there's a me who eats a denny's prefix christmas dinner i feel like we're on that timeline like three different decisions and that's where this would be at your dessert choices are cake or pancake i pick both because you know i don't have the kids like i'm telling you like it's like
Starting point is 00:11:48 had i stayed 30 minutes longer at three different parties that's where my life would have been oh each course is a moon over a different city oh this is fun but all over miami yeah they're all over miami i mean ham is incorporated into the entire meal also he's got the burgers though i won't i'm not gonna play him out like that danny's got the burgers dude danny's it's fine if they have like triple they have uh triple decker bacon egg cheese sandwiches any hour that's what are we yeah of course i pronounce it denise remember when they tried that like basically stoner food? Like, they were calling this one menu, like, the munchies menu.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Everybody did that for a little bit. Nobody did it well. Because they don't. Listen, I'm stoned. I'm not a fucking idiot. Yeah, but I am. Because you're putting cheese sticks in the middle of a grilled cheese sandwich. I'm going to eat that, whether I'm high or not.
Starting point is 00:12:44 And then the tagline for it was, eat what the sleepers are dreaming. Oh, my God. That's the name of my book, actually. That's an Ezra Pound life. It did work. I went. So Danny's hired a genius for a minute?
Starting point is 00:12:59 Eat what the sleepers are dreaming? Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. That was a Shel Silverstein book of poems, actually. Oh, it's Ezra Pound the it's on the base of the uh and it was just like stoner white trash creations yeah like things you would do jack in the box was doing that shit too that's why i respect waffle house they're like we got what we got and you're gonna eat it waffle house never has any new shit have a system a system. They have their own ordering
Starting point is 00:13:26 language. You gotta know it. You can fight in there. You should fight in there. Sometimes you gotta fight in there. That person who will probably watch those fights on his Instagram page is Sean Jordan. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Sean got a big snail. by the time this comes out do you think the snail will still be up no i think we i think we got to take it down i think january 1st or whatever this will still be out all right you keep this nail up till new year's yeah i'd keep it up till january or whenever this comes out the 29th yeah something like that oh when This comes out the 29th? Yeah. Something like that. Oh, when this comes out, I'm going to be up to my neck in Pacific Ocean. Oh, yeah, dude. I know you guys thought I was going to say something different. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Wait, where are you going? Hawaii. Hell, yeah. That rolls. Yeah. It's going to be gross. But like cool gross. He's participating in a surfing competition to save a uh to save a
Starting point is 00:14:25 beachside resort it's basically a reserve it's a it's a reverse johnny tsunami yeah yeah classic i went to the town that lilo and stitch was based on dude it's just a town i thought some magical stuff was gonna happen but it was just like a street a couple of houses on it i've never seen it i've never seen lilo and stitch oh what's your favorite disney movie aladdin we just talked about it or or the lion king i thought i was gonna catch you we will talk about it hey amy in all the years that you've known sean has he ever talked about the movie aladdin i don't think ever once no weird weird how much has he talked about other movies though Disney movies what other Disney movies
Starting point is 00:15:07 how much has he talked about other movies in general with you just all the time yeah weird he mostly only talks about love actually if I'm being honest I was watching it on the plane the last movie I watched on the plane before I landed was
Starting point is 00:15:23 half of love actually I just watched it too my boyfriend had never seen it I was watching it on the plane. The last movie I watched on the plane before I landed was Half of Love Actually. I just watched it too. My boyfriend had never seen it. I was weeping. It was embarrassing. I was the boyfriend who had never seen Love Actually for like way too long. I've rectified that.
Starting point is 00:15:36 And I was the fucking friend telling you to watch it for years and years. Anyway. Yeah, I'm not talking about Aladdin. Yes, I was. jafar is my favorite i will be at smart collective january 14th smart collective my buddy's skate shop doing a show there with taylor clark it's gonna be fun come see it you think you're gonna be out of jail by then sean why would why would i be in jail oh like less than Like about a week after January 6th? Oh, I didn't get caught last time.
Starting point is 00:16:09 I know, but you think what? You think you're going to get lucky again? I don't think I got lucky last time. I think I was one of the smart ones who did it right. Again, I'm not caught. There's no snail trails in jail. You got to be careful. Yeah, you got to be very careful.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Yeah, there are. You can do it right. God. If somebody just took that little sound bite, I might actually, I was not there. So just, you know, also take that sound bite. What? January 6th, I'm saying. It really sounded like I was there for a second.
Starting point is 00:16:35 You think someone's clipping a piece of our podcast to frame you up for being part of the capital insurrection, Ryan? What do you think people think of you? I can never tell. Like when you saw the music, man, you were like, yeah, part of me feels like I could just get on stage and Hugh Jackman would be cool with it. And I'm like, what? Because he was so charming. I don't even understand the order of the way.
Starting point is 00:16:55 I feel like we look at the world so different. He charms you so much to where you think that he just looks, he seems like he's one of your friends just by looking at him. That's how charming he was. That's how charming he is. I'm saying. He has an inviting energy. Do you think if you were at the insurrection, you'd be more famous than that one
Starting point is 00:17:18 random Mr. Show guy? I think he might be the most famous person there. I met that guy. There was a Mr. Show guy there? Yeah, I met him. They still haven't found him. Really? They haven't found the famous person? Or not famous, but
Starting point is 00:17:33 the only mildly known person. He's on the lam still? Yeah. Oh, no. I think he's infiltrating America's improv communities and turning them hard right. Was he nice to you when you met him, David? That's the only thing that could make improv suck more.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Yeah, I was going to say, he should turn him funny if he wants to do something else. I love that even your beloved wife, the improviser, won't keep you from just ragging on improv. Anyway, Smart Collective, January 14th. That'll be fantastic. If, just asterisk, if you're out of jail. Yeah, if I got enough Crisco on me to get out of there. Amy, we went and saw the, Sean, Dana and I went and saw the music band in New York City. Oh, love it.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Fantastic. It was amazing. It was so good. Sean tried to rush the stage much like he rushed the capital here we go every time you go you're like i should do this all the time amen every time go fill up your go fill up your tank thank me you know what i mean they're all just like what like it's just like oh my god people did this people can do this every time i see a play talented yeah and they do it every day five six days a week six days a week is that this is that what it is two nights two
Starting point is 00:18:51 shows a night six days a week dana said they do it seven days a week twice on saturday that play they do i bitch about doing five nights four nights in vegas I'm like, this is too much work. You're not even dancing. Oh, yeah, he is. That's a different show. Don't come thinking that. He's dancing, everybody. He's dancing. Yeah, he's doing a big,
Starting point is 00:19:16 he opens and closes with a huge dance number. And then like 10, 15. Amy might come. She's deciding. Yeah. Come out for one night. It gonna be bad christmas in vegas go see some ham with my my real family but we're gonna go nuts you're hamily my whole damn hamily you can't say right now that you're not gonna be having ham in a few days
Starting point is 00:19:41 i know the people i know the company i'm keeping and i know ham is the last on their to-do list you don't think this could be some scenarios that shake out where you find yourself eating ham at like 3 a.m ham is not a thing i order it's like spaghetti i don't get it in restaurants oh interesting i never was into ham never never it's been like the last three years yeah it's crazy i've always felt like it's very overrated. What if they're carving it? I like it. I love the ham at a station.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Come on. Sign me up. I like it. I like it old better than I like it new. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yes. If I can't have ham the next day in a sandwich, then I'm like, all right.
Starting point is 00:20:17 But like fresh honey baked or some shit, I'm like, I don't care. I can't believe I'm on here believing in Santa and caping for ham so hard. I love ham. I love ham and I love Santa. Yeah, what's going on? I don't care. I can't believe I'm on here believing in Santa and caping for him. So I love him. I love him. And I love Santa. What's going on? I don't know. It's the season.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Yeah. Twas. We have ham for dinner. That's what we have for Christmas dinner. Most of the time. I believe it. I'm in box macaroni and cheese. You had tomato soup.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Yeah. I'm going to kill you. Cheerio fudge. My mom makes Cheerio fudge where she just puts cheerios and fudge all right that sounds good it is good yeah i think that was an accident the first time it happened and then she just we were broke sean i made magic cheerio broke fudge and then over the years the broke just got left out for knowing how to make the fudge stretch though and the old Cheerios
Starting point is 00:21:05 I don't think you should say shout out to your mom for knowing how to make the fudge stretch to your friends it did sound weird as soon as it came out I felt strange a lot of our moms knew how to make the fudge stretch that's why we're here stop it oh I'm the bad guy
Starting point is 00:21:21 yeah in this one case oh that's the grossest thing I could have met. Hi, Mom. I'm not sorry. That guy's making the fudge stretch. He's going to be neck deep in the Pacific Ocean. Specifically, the Pacific Ocean. David Borey, CoolGuyJokes87
Starting point is 00:21:45 on Instagram. Not on Twitter anymore. You blew it. You blew it. David? You're missing nothing. I know. It's a hot, hot hell hole. I'm not even on there that much anymore. Just for basketball reasons.
Starting point is 00:22:01 I can't do it, man. January 6th. Not enough butts, too much nuts. Hey, it's me, David Borey, star of Stage and Screen. You can come see me at the Newberry in Great Falls, Montana, January 27th. There you go. And Montana, man. It'll be fun in Montana. You love Montana, Sean.
Starting point is 00:22:23 It's beautiful. I was just there. It was negative nine degrees. you last best no well all right uh yeah any any more dates to plug uh no i don't i i't read. I'm trying to sift through these emails. I'm afraid I'm getting sick again. Come to a comedy show I produce in Denver the third Friday of January. Perfect. Fantastic. Amy Miller is here.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Amy Miller. Hello. Amy Miller. Amy Miller on here. Amy Miller. Hello. Amy Miller. Amy Miller on Twitter. Amy Miller comedy on Instagram. Amy Given Sunday on the Oliver Stone channel. My fantasy name. Amy Which Way But Loose.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Amy, what up? Amy Thing Goes. Amy Thing Goes. Amy Thing Goes on Broadway. Uh, Amy, you have some dates. First of all,
Starting point is 00:23:28 how are you? Uh, Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. I'm doing good. Christmas. Wow. Happy birthday.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Happy birthday. Yes. God, we ate all that ham in Vegas. Um, I've been excellent. Thank you for asking. Fantastic. I feel very loopy right now i'm sorry any uh doing some stand-up comedy coming up
Starting point is 00:23:52 oh yeah you know i am my man what i don't like it you do stand-up comedy every now and then. Yes. Thank you. I was going into a radio interview. You ever have an ex-wife? What color? I saw on the internet you like to eat at Cheesecake Factory. Tell me a little bit about that. That was Taylor Swift.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Sean, you've been arrested before, right? That's what it's always like. Taylor Swift's a woman. You're a woman. What's always like taylor swift's a woman you're a woman what's it like in comedy follow abdul straight up now tell me where your next dates are i like that they people kind of finally figured out that us doing like 6 a.m radio interviews doesn't really work yeah or not for boys feel funny at all later it's a nightmare i like doing the early tv ones those are fun though because they have a better spread one it's tv oh yeah i once went on an early tv hit like after a blacksmith and i'm like well
Starting point is 00:24:59 this is cool this is fun they had a blacksmith and then they brought me in am northwest it was oh i just did am northwest how did you know that i played jeopardy on am northwest it's fun it's good and somebody had a big snake yeah have you done the one in uh in des moines with the old guy who loves comedy me and becky robinson were on there wearing wigs nice sounds tight it just sucks you gotta get up so early but it's like it's fun doing that stuff but it just sucks being six you know there's still a clip up of brooks doing am northwest on bad salts oh yeah it wasn't as funny as he thought it was yeah it doesn't like it. Adam just sweating in the background.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Please stop saying you're on bath salts. He was though. On bath salts or sweating? Bath salts make you sweat, man. Every time Helen asked him a question, he just wanted to talk about Florida-Georgia line. Yeah, it was weird it's amazing legendary i assume it's not a secret because he hasn't had it taken down
Starting point is 00:26:11 listen nobody's nobody's morning show performance is better than brent weinbach's andy's nuts oh yeah that's the best one have you seen that one brooks almost killed me in our uh in our uh new faces at one of the after parties. We were dancing on a stage and he jumped on my back without telling me. And I felt like I fell off the staircase. He jumped on your back down the stairs? That's a juvie move. We were up on a stage like dancing at some like after party.
Starting point is 00:26:41 And then my back turned to him. And like we've been having a great time all weekend. And he like, I was, you know, I'm still a sturdy guy i was very sturdy then but even still i couldn't take like a 180 pound wrestler dude on my back and he jumped on my back and i fell down a wooden staircase under the floor i've been drinking so i popped up but like the next day i was like oh sore i could have that could have gone really bad bad but who am I would have jumped on his back if I were a smaller dude you know who amongst us
Starting point is 00:27:10 can I say what stand up comedy I'm going to be doing yeah alright I'm seeing me in Colorado Vail Denver Colorado Springs Seattle San Francisco, co-headlining the punchline for Sketchfest with Joe Zimmerman. Fantastic.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Yeah. Those are all on my website. AmyMillerComedy.com Well, those are all in January. There's more stuff in February. You can check it all out there. I'll be in the Bay Area, Alameda.
Starting point is 00:27:48 That's it. Hitting the road hard. Yeah, well, unfortunately, my job is up. That's why you have to come see me. So I'm not doing it for nothing. It's for profit. It's for profit stand-up comedy. Sometimes it still feels like you profit it's for profit stand-up comedy sometimes it still feels like
Starting point is 00:28:05 you're doing it for nothing after the plane ticket no i just mean in general in your heart oh i see oh i see oh okay yeah dark post christmas i've come back from hawaii now i'm different i've come back from hawaii now speaking of live shows uh shout out to everyone who came and saw us in boston and new york especially the first show second show we haven't talked about this yet you guys were you still thank you for coming very unruly i'm not as angry as apparently some of you are i'm not angry i do stand up i don't know they were talking whatever man it is that we are always have i should have said this during the show we are we are we want we will talk to you and hang out as much as as much as we can
Starting point is 00:29:00 after the show totally before the show if we see you during the show let's keep the cup hey what's up meeps during the show let's keep the conversations to a minimum going forward whether they are with amongst yourselves or to us while we're on stage yeah yeah it makes it just a general rule it never works to say it it never works to say but just in case you were thinking i should go to that show also i mean i think as many of you were as drunk as we have been at live shows and uh you know i god knows we've done nothing to discourage that in the past with our behavior so a bit hypocritical for us to say hey don't do that now but just for each other for our community at large at live shows going forward let's try to make it more a show perhaps unless sean getting
Starting point is 00:29:57 increasingly frustrated and trying to communicate that while maintaining his famously. I get so stressed so easy. But even still, the second show was fucking crazy. I tried to defend Baby It's Cold Outside. People screamed at me. I brought up how black people eat macaroni and cheese at Thanksgiving. People got mad at me for that. It was a real horror show for your friend, Ian Carmel. You really went nobody really got you
Starting point is 00:30:26 went real portland on it man nobody was like no ian i i felt it like i think black people eat macaroni and cheese for thanksgiving more and then you were like i don't know i whoa whoa whoa oh shout it down they tried to cancel me for my beliefs i loved it there was my i had my little jacket my my fancy little new york jacket i bought it didn't keep me warm at all sean brought a like a wind breaker to new york in december and a bunch of sweatshirts though i feel like marissa's just blown up the chat with messages about meeps exclusively oh yeah i'm just dming amy about how i love seeing meeps on the camera yeah i'm trying i was trying to get you a direct butthole
Starting point is 00:31:09 shot while you were complaining about the crowd every time somebody said that trying to spread the fudge a little bit my name is spread but just like all our moms do no spread the fudge addy and carmel on twitter addy and car the fudge. Add Ian Carmel on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Add Ian Carmel on Instagram. Especially yours. Add Ian Carmel on Jewish Meepses Butthole Only fans. Yep. We spread it to make it last longer. God damn it. I don't have any dates. Watch the Late Late Show while it's still on the air.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Listen to All Fantasy Everything. And I'll be doing stand-up around LA bit by bit. And then we'll have more live All Fans Say Everything dates on the road for everyone to be polite at. Spread the fudge. Yeah, just be respectful to your fellow
Starting point is 00:31:56 audience members who are all just listeners trying to listen to the show, you know? Also get buck in that way. There's still a way to get buck, trust me. Do it all the time. We're all just trying to spread that fudge. You can listen to those episodes. You can listen to the first Boston one, the first New York one, which were fantastic.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Honestly, some of our best episodes ever with guests Josh Gondelman and Katie Nolan on the Patreon. And then you can also hear the second New York show with guest Katie Nolan, also on the Patreon, perhaps with some kind of additional commentary. Yeah, it's just Buck. Like, if you want to hear the Philly show, listen to that one. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody can hear the Philly show. I don't remember the Philly show.
Starting point is 00:32:36 I really don't think it was. I don't know. Maybe it's been a while. Yeah, you also don't remember. That's indicative of something. I kind of do. I mean, it was also four years ago. I'm old. All my dates are at
Starting point is 00:32:49 amymillercomedy.com. All through January, hitting the West Coast. We're getting here today not to lightly chastise you for being too avuncular at the second New York show at the Bell House, but to fantasy draft cozy things.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Oh yeah. Good already. Oh, this feels so good. I, this, you, you,
Starting point is 00:33:15 we, we were going to do this draft and you got a migraine like a couple of weeks ago and I've been looking forward to it and thinking about it ever since. I've been being extra cozy the whole time. Oh, it's been such a cozy season. It is cozy. It's got to be.
Starting point is 00:33:30 As I've started drinking less, I feel like I've been filling that void in my life with just getting more cozy. With coziness. Yeah. Blanket. For example. Yeah. No, no, no. No. Not quite yet.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Stuff we'll get to. And the way we will determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you. And we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh, man. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:03 Natural against two papers. amy as the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that does that mean if you got a bunch of great question it's like you've got a bunch of presents to wrap and you just take the first one and i'm not a great i'm not great at wrapping presents but you wrap you fold the right over and then the left and then you just kind of tape it and then the next present you kind of you fold the right over and then the left tape it and then the next one just because it's boring i know it's not the best but it's tough because i don't ever want to redo these
Starting point is 00:34:39 and then the next one you start by folding the paper left first and then the right over. And then you just kind of switch it up a little bit so you don't get bored. And then you fold another one and you fold from the left to the right. And then you have another present coming at you because there's still like 10 more because it's going to take a lot longer than you thought. And you fold the right over this time first and then the left and just kind of go until all the presents are done. You put them under the tree and have yourself a merry little Christmas. Have you ever wrapped a present?
Starting point is 00:35:10 Apparently not. I just wrap them in like garbage bags. Hard to come up with like a gift bag analogy though for a serpentine draft. Sometimes they seem so stupid when I'm like, oh, you're saying it for real? Because I'll write them down and like, yeah, it'll work. And then
Starting point is 00:35:25 you know. It sounded like you were making a cootie catcher. Is that what you guys call them? These things? Fortune tellers? Yeah. There's a lot of folding. That was some sort of origami swan and not a Christmas present. I never knew how to make one of those.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Never knew how to fold it right. Oh, they only talk girls. That was a sacred. It's one of the last. Yeah. We didn't want you guys to know. Me and my Sioux Falls Black Belt school jacket never found out how to do that. Mr. Sean never found out how to do that. Mr. Sean, dude.
Starting point is 00:35:54 A lot of cool little jackets in your life. Yeah. That one had a big open mouth tiger on the back and it said Sioux Falls Black Belt School on it. Oh, I do want to shout out the person in Boston who brought Sean a burgundy denim jacket to wear a shearling coat. Big, big, made it back. I have it.
Starting point is 00:36:10 It made it back home. I have somebody felt bad for how cold Sean looked and they just gave him the jacket right off of his back. Big jacket. Oh, nice. Yeah. It was huge.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Yeah. Yep. More given us jackets, yeah yeah more giving us jackets less screaming 301 at the stage every time we say anything there was somebody out there like no no no no no no no no no we're kidding we're kidding having said all that we we fucking we love you all dearly and thank you so much for coming even the people who talk too much we love you too and thank you so much for coming to the show and listening to the podcast so Amy with that
Starting point is 00:36:49 basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round you pick first in the second round with that in mind what will the order of the cozy things all fantasy everything draft be today David Borey me Amy Ian Sean what the fuck holy crap dude hot that's dude no hot corners he wasn't on
Starting point is 00:37:12 the hot corner on the last one either or the next one as it were yeah or the i don't know i got a mug that says hot corner and i haven't been on hot corner either time i've gotten used this mug it's this mug is cursed. It is. Damn. You want to be on the hot corner? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to earn it.
Starting point is 00:37:32 I want to earn it. I want to earn it. I don't know what it means, but it's picking forth. Okay. Well, David, you have the first pick in the cozy things, all fantasy, everything fantasy draft. And we will get to that first pick right after the short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real
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Starting point is 00:38:41 what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously, you want to be a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers, and then they give you your best options. They're just a few clicks, and then you're going to find your lowest price. And their expert license support team is your advocate. They work for you. They're not getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not out there being smarmy. They just want to
Starting point is 00:39:21 help you out. They're answering the questions, handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you. And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about, but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy.
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Starting point is 00:40:03 Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah. I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with PolicyGenius. Head to PolicyGenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. Yeah, we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. The only podcast that has ever existed. This is it.
Starting point is 00:40:27 Amy's going to be in Vail with Sean Patton. Powering through that. I can tell your throat hurts, man. Good on you. Good on you. I'll get through it. I'll get through it. Good on you.
Starting point is 00:40:37 God gives his hardest battles to his strongest little warriors. Her hardest battles. Is sex not in the Bible? That's why. Yes, it is. It's the first part. What if that was in the Bible? God gives his biggest battles to his strongest little warriors. His toughest little guys.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Ever heard of David? Yeah. Every goddamn day in my life. That's why I have a cold for the second time in a month. That's your Goliath. Are those the strongest battles? He gives the silliest battles to his okayest warriors.
Starting point is 00:41:13 How about that? I'll take that. He gives his most annoying colds to his has-been-wanting-to-hang-out-on-the-couch-for-a-couple-days-ist warriors anyway, so it's fine. He said, thou shalt stretch the fudge, Ian. God. God gives his tastiest strombolis to his hungriest little guys, I believe is the original phrase. David Bore, you have the first pick in the cozy things. All fantasy, everything draft.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Naked fat people. Naked fat people? Yeah. I'm not, no argument from me over here. I know I'm providing warmth. It's our time. It's our season right now they need us i'll die without us i don't think there's anyone who could actually
Starting point is 00:42:13 deny it no absolutely absolutely not it's a very cozy situation yeah i don't. Wake up like that? Either you're getting backed by it or you're backed into it? Come on, man. Good day. So soft. I mean, our skin's so soft. I don't know why. Supple. Nutrients? It's being stretched. My fudge is stretched. I'm not up in here at any point.
Starting point is 00:42:43 That's a nasty term. Stretching the fudge yeah that's a nasty term trying to imagine cuddling a fat person right now we've shared a like a godfather booth at a restaurant when we've both been pretty drunk it was basically snuggly but i wasn't naked all right nothing on maybe socks maybe but probably not well. Depends on how deep we got into it. Our circulation isn't great, so our feet get cold. Those tenses are freezing. David goes, I said naked. There's not much to talk about.
Starting point is 00:43:34 I'll tell you, I don't know how if- I expect your DMs. If skinny people feel cold all the time, but when I lost weight, especially before i bounced back up like 10 pounds or so when i was like my skinniest i have never been fucking colder and less fun to like snuggle with i was like freezing i myself was freezing i know i was cold to anyone snuggling with me like it was like it was just a fucking cold situation
Starting point is 00:43:59 yeah listen this isn't a lifestyle indictment or anything i'm just saying what you know yeah listen this isn't a lifestyle indictment or anything i'm just saying what you know it's nice this is why i wanted david to go first he's the closest person i know do two skinny people ever even cuddle it can't even be called cuddling i think it's something different yeah i think it's something different i think it's some kind of like melding or something yeah yeah something jagged it sounds like when like a confident salesperson is moving clothing racks around probably just like clink clink clink clink clink i don't know anybody who doesn't want to push up on a soft butt skinny people have soft butts too everybody let's not body shame okay oh yeah i have heard that
Starting point is 00:44:40 that's your children's book, right? Skinny people have soft butts too? It is. That's the merch for the next tour. Someone's got to write it, but it's a children's book. Naked fat people. All right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:57 Very cozy. Very cozy. Unless it's hot out. No, it's still cozy. It's still pretty nice. It's still pretty nice i don't know how much i could like a savage am i like a trait can i still talk about i don't i this has been my journey i'm still a little fat i don't know how much i can talk about it anymore i don't know if i can talk about how fat people are sweaty even though i was one of the sweatiest fat people
Starting point is 00:45:22 no i'm talking about my journey. Also, fat men are sweaty, not like fat women are sweaty. Yeah, well. Not as sweaty, for sure. Not as sweaty. Maybe I'm waiting in the territory. I shouldn't even talk about whether or not I can talk about it. I think you can talk about it.
Starting point is 00:45:40 You didn't die. With, people have context for you. I mean, I wouldn't talk about it on CNN or die i mean people have context for you i mean i wouldn't talk about it on cnn or whatever i'm going to tonight that's why yeah that's why i was running a fight everybody flint's are still on cnn i watch pbs news hour we're moving on to amy's back amy time for your first pick i feel like my first pick is very heavily related to naked fat people. And it's robes. Oh, yeah. I thought, okay.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Everybody went a different direction than I thought they were. Okay. Yeah. Robes. I was a robe child. I don't want to shock you guys, but I was a robe kid. That is so weird. Have you seen Rob Kids?
Starting point is 00:46:24 Yeah. It's the weirdest kids. Kids with robes are weird. I love Robe Kids. Robe Kids are nuts. Did you have a little roll-up newspaper under your arm, too? My slippers? Yeah. I went down to the front to get the paper like Tony Soprano.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Is a robe kid weirder or a bath kid weirder? A bath kid. 50-50, bro. Actually, bath kid is weirder or a bath kid weirder? A bath kid. 50-50, bro. Actually, bath kid is weirder. Well, it depends on when the bath. Morning bath kid is weirder than a robe kid. But a robe kid is weirder than a nighttime bath kid. Let's not say morning bath kid.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Like, that's even a type of kid. That was just wrong. I feel like there's a huge overlap between the two. Yeah, I was a night bath kid and a robe kid. That's how the robe started, because my grandma started giving me robes because I love the bath so much. I still have one of the, I still have a robe I've had since I was like 11. That's adorable.
Starting point is 00:47:13 The same robe in continuous service? Yeah, I have seven additional robes now. But the original robe is, yeah, going on 30 years old. It's still cozy. It's terry cloth cloth so you just wash it it's like a towel yeah i put it on if i'm sick you know really feeling or depressed yeah i've never been a robe person can you dry off of the robe can you just instead of drying off can you just put the robe on and let it dry you as you move oh is that how people do it i don't know
Starting point is 00:47:42 okay you can but you shouldn't every day with the same robe. Like, yes, you can use... Great. Haven't you used terrycloth robes from a hotel that way? Like, just get right out of your shower sex? No, just me. Oh, I don't fuck with the robes in the hotel. For sure. I love the
Starting point is 00:47:59 robes in the hotel. Never. Well, sometimes the robe in the hotel fits better than those fucking towels, which you can't put around a fat body ever. Not at all, no. Just hanging one off each nipple. Or the other part of the Christmas tree. I don't have that one. I don't have a trunk. Let me tell you, you're missing out.
Starting point is 00:48:20 I tried to, like, do two towels from a hotel once and, like, figure, I'm like, I've devised a new system. It doesn't work. No, you didn't. I didn't. You thought you did. You didn't.
Starting point is 00:48:32 I ran under the wheel. Sometimes they'll have the smaller person robe and the couple's sizes or whatever. Yeah. You can get a pretty sizable robe sometimes in a hotel. God, they're cozy. I wish I had one now. Does Meeps like your robe? Every time Dana puts a robe on, Beetlejuice jumps up on there and starts making muffins.
Starting point is 00:48:51 Oh, yeah, yeah. So cozy for the cat. Yeah, where they just need the biscuits or whatever. Oh, I did not know that. Oh, yeah, making biscuits. That's what it is. I call it scratching your boobs up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Scratch my boobs up. It's weird. They just press, and I don't really know what it is. I call it scratching your boobs up. Scratch my boobs up. It's weird. They just press and I don't really know what it is. Some sort of cat thing. It's from nursing when they're kittens because you have to push to get the milk out and then they just keep doing it when they feel
Starting point is 00:49:20 cozy and like you're their mommy. Look at that. I didn't know it. I'm about as far as i'm realizing i'm as far as from cat culture as it gets i've tried to get a little milk to come out for me i'll do anything for her you're just laying there in a row going dig meeps she's she's killed she's killed before oh god i've seen a splayed out mouse right before I take a shower. Mewtwo's like, look what I did for you. I cut this mouse's head off and put it I gave you a gift that you
Starting point is 00:49:50 can shower with if you want. You saw how healthy she looks. 16 years old. She's eating brains. I think that's the secret. That's what it is. It's eating brains. Outdoor living. Healthy. I've tried to tell many people. She could get up in that window that humans couldn't. Humans couldn't get in that window and and she would get up to nothing.
Starting point is 00:50:08 At your old spot? Oh, yeah. That's insane. She's doing fine. Yeah. I think cats traditionally are better at getting in windows than people, though. That's why they call them cat burglars. Should have been easier for a person to get into than a cat.
Starting point is 00:50:21 It just was so high. Dang that, because we had to crawl in that window a lot. When the door wouldn't unlock. When the door wouldn't unlock. Robes are fantastic. My little sister got me this big, big robe
Starting point is 00:50:38 where I look like I'm a villain in an Assassin's Creed video game. It fucking rules. Like a fleece kind of joint? It's like a fleece big, just just like oh my like envelops you yeah robes are nice uh oh time for my first pick oh yeah okay all right i'm gonna take i'm gonna i'm gonna take like the sound of rain on a roof. Sure. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Car roof,
Starting point is 00:51:07 especially car roof, house roof, either one of those, like the sensation of shelter when it sucks outside is like the coziest thing I've ever felt. I mean, it's, it's, it's so nice.
Starting point is 00:51:20 There's other examples of it, but just like, like it's all quiet. And then like hearing like that whether it's like a tin roof car roof even against like a window or like a house roof and to me that's just like the coziest thing i could fall asleep immediately it is like particularly magical in la because at first you're like what the hell does that sound yeah a bunch of kids shooting a bb gun at my roof and then you're
Starting point is 00:51:47 like oh i guess i'm not going anywhere tonight it's so nice listen to this and there's like a complete understanding like all of la just shuts down where it's like i can't it's raining oh i could never no no no i can't do it it's raining i have when i when i use like a white noise app or like a track on spotify yeah i do rain on a car roof it's it's so soothing that that's my like back track on it's not rain on a car roof but like rain on a roof uh when i meditate you can pick like a backing track for the person telling you what to do and it's always rain every time i don't need the fucking waves he's a portland boy i'm portland boy it just feels so cozy mine's always henry rollins just telling me to get my shit together yeah dude loudly live too you walk through the soundtrack
Starting point is 00:52:36 of all those fights you watch on instagram all those dudes talking about how much their tickets cost at the raiders game yeah people mad at a wing stop employee because they they don't have the mountain dew themed wing sauce it's like that's a it's buffalo wild wing sir and he says i don't care make it for me i'll watch them all every one of those videos um but that's my pick the sound of rain on the roof love it mm-hmm sean is trying for your first and second picks as it is uh thank you it's a pretty simple one my first one I feel like it's in the area but
Starting point is 00:53:11 pajama pants I just love pajama pants I just don't really get some right now my guy yeah they're just the national South Dakota national bird state bird they're just so cozy I just I had to go to the airport this morning to get my luggage because my flight i was supposed to be on got in so much later than my flight that
Starting point is 00:53:30 i did get on so i had to leave my airport or my luggage at the airport overnight anyway i just went to the airport in pajama pants today just i just felt fun the whole time and it's a weird feeling to be out in public and feel fun why did you have to get luggage at the airport so my flight got delayed till like my flight got delayed till like two and then i i got into seattle at eight and i asked if i could get on an earlier flight to portland and i could but my bags were already in transit with a different flight so i just when i landed i was like whatever i'll just come get them in the morning and yeah just throw on my pajama pants and it just immediately makes me feel cozy. It feels like you're at a sleepover the whole time.
Starting point is 00:54:07 I don't know. Just out, driving around the car. Feels like you're in a dish. Yeah, it just feels comfy. There's two kinds, though. Have you ever had the pair that had, like, a wiener hole on them? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:22 I don't get wiener holes. Yeah, where it's like, I'm not going to pull it through my boxers and this. You're nuts. i don't yeah yeah yeah where it's like i'm not gonna pull it through my boxers and this you're nuts you don't i don't pull it through my boxers crazy nobody does well i've been coming over the top since before fucking stallone yeah yeah i don't like my pajama pants to have a wiener hole at all it feels like i would take one with the butt door though if you gave it like a butt trap door i would take one of those would you take a butt that's gonna be more of like a full body that's why the butt door is on it i would poop i would poop with a butt door
Starting point is 00:54:53 i would i would use it if i ever saw one poop with a butt door yeah i've never seen it so yeah i would do it right at the comedy store too dark sean it sounds insane it sounds way too risky you definitely can't do it at the comedy store free balling in your union a lot of things got to go right for it to turn out well but if it did i'd never stop talking about it anyway i would like you to start dressing in like a flannel union suit a big red one cozy with two little butt buttons i was also one of those kids way too late into life like steel and juice man i get my flannel uh anyway that was my first one nothing crazy pajama pants and then number two i'm going uh a booth at a bar
Starting point is 00:55:40 when i know i'm gonna be there for a while oh that's a good because you get like you get in you take your stuff off you set your bag whatever you got and then you're there and then you know you're you've like you've gone to the bathroom or whatever you know you're gonna be chilling and it just it's nice to be sitting in a booth and not feel trapped because if i don't feel trapped i feel amazing i got two speeds in a booth i either feel trapped, I feel amazing. I got two speeds in a booth. I either feel trapped or I feel absolutely perfect. Yeah. I don't really. There's no middle ground.
Starting point is 00:56:08 So that. Right. It's just super cozy to me. Normally, you're surrounded by a really good company. And, you know, it's just fun. When you're pulling up for one of those, like, we're going to be here for like four hours. Sure. That kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Different friends come and go. But you have a booth. You're holding it down. So you know that you don't have anything to do, which is oddly you know just mentally cozy feeling i guess not having anything to do is a very cozy feeling it's like absolutely no but i don't think that's a pick i don't think i'm saying a pick that's like kind of the heart of your at the heart of your pick yeah just sitting there settled in a booth in a bar really in any situation they have a booths at tommy jack's no no they have a trough they don't even have chairs in there they had probably 20 well including the bar probably 25 30 chairs it's weird that they don't have booths
Starting point is 00:57:05 because you can't pick up a booth and hit someone with it. You can with a chair. You would think. That place. Anyway, yeah. It's a nice little cozy booth. I love it. Little candle.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right around this time of year, too. So it looks like Amy's apartment. Christmas lights everywhere. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Yeah. Right around this time of year too. So it looks like Amy's apartment, Christmas lights everywhere. Yeah. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:27 Yeah, dude. Yeah. That big corner roost booth under the sign. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's a good booth. That place was a certain kind of something,
Starting point is 00:57:35 but it's sometimes it was really perfect. I would say 99% of the time it was perfect. 98. Yeah. But well, sometimes it was too crowded. Sometimes, but doubt it? Yeah, but well, sometimes it was too crowded. But no, no, no. Sometimes it was just like right exactly.
Starting point is 00:57:48 When we didn't get into fights after. It was really nice. Yeah. So 98% of the time. There actually happened. But anyway. Even when it was crowded, it was cool because it was that thing where it was like, oh, these people are here? Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:58:04 You know what I mean? Like you would run into other groups of people. Yeah. Or like you'd meet people you only knew from Twitter at the roost. It was fun. And then if it is crowded and you have the booth, people are like, man, look how cozy that guy looks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Who's that? Powerful. Who's that girl? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. So yeah, a little cozy booth. Sean was that girl. I sure was. Excellent pick, being in a booth when you don't have anywhere to be.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Is the Roost your ideal booth? Is that what you would say? Oh, oh, God. I mean. Yeah, what's your favorite booth? Yeah, paint the picture, dude. I'm trying to. So it's probably back home over the break where I'm out with some people that i don't aren't normally in
Starting point is 00:58:47 town with each other and we go to some restaurant bar like way more of a restaurant than a bar but we treat it like a bar and absolutely not a restaurant and yeah we just have a booth where it's not crowded pretty easy table service and I mean. So is there a place? No, not really. I mean, it's going to be like Bennigan's or something stupid like that. Or Granite City would be one. Do you guys have Granite Cities? No.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Absolutely not. Well, yeah. They're what you think they are. They're all like trying to think of somewhere. I don't know what I think they are they're all like trying to think of i don't know what i think they are when i what i think that is is a backyard store champs champs is a sports bar like a sports bar sort of setting but all right yeah yeah and it's i'm picturing back home over the break like over the holiday break just with people it's or an old spaghetti factory was one that we would like sometimes that would work uh and it's really probably it's probably five or six yeah an old
Starting point is 00:59:50 spaghetti factory we when we got i was trying to tell you this the other day when we got one in sioux falls it was where we went for probably a year it was just like our spot wow because they had a bar and they had this beer thing they had this thing where like if you drank every kind of beer at the old spaghetti factory you got like yeah like the beer passport a little yes something something stupid but uh yeah anyway so we've we used to run the old spaghetti factory and just really hang out there so there's something like that oh that's crazy to me that's the restaurant where i once spilled a tray full of Italian sodas on a lady. Yeah, that would have been less cozy. The worst I've ever felt.
Starting point is 01:00:33 It's the worst when you want a booth and then they're like, here's the table and chairs. Oh, awful. But I know like having been a server for so long, you're kind of trained to profile fat people and give them chairs. But sometimes I'm like like we could fit in there don't fucking yeah don't tell me where i can fit and then it is tight and then you have to move squeeze me in i'll get the belly under the table as long as i can sort of finagle it so it's all under the table yeah come on i'll put the boobs on top that's right yeah put it on my tombstone uh time for my second pick i'm going to take this is very specific it is eating dinner or like eating a meal at my mom's after she's picked me up from the airport like and we get back to the house so like, like, I fly into town, get picked up from the airport, get driven right to my mom's.
Starting point is 01:01:27 And, like, this is what happened to my mom's. It happens to my grandma's. Where it's, like, you get off the plane, go right to the house, and you're, like, catching up in the kitchen. And you're, like, eating, like, whatever the food. It's usually, like, leftovers. Or they're just, like, pulling stuff out of the fridge. You know what I mean? Sometimes there's, like, cold cuts and, like, some bread like some bread yes a little bit of breakfast a little bit of lunch
Starting point is 01:01:48 yeah a little bit of lunch oh we have chicken uh chicken cacciatore last night so here's some like leftover chicken cacciatore sure uh dana's mom is amazing at this uh where it's just like you get off the plane and it's just like they're so excited to see you this is all this food and you're just like catching up it's so great to see your family and you're and you're like eating in the kitchen I just love it it's so cozy save my appetite for it absolutely I usually drive
Starting point is 01:02:14 up to see my mom and I don't stop for food because I'm like I'm going to get there I'm going to get there late and I'll eat her food not yeah yeah I'll skip the airport food I'll go and I'll eat like that vat of chili that my mom made for me oh it's so good it's the best she makes me really trashy shit too she'll just make like she goes you want tacos i go sure but it's just like tons of salty beef and then some cheese
Starting point is 01:02:39 and tons of hot sauce those are my tacos exactly i just kind of sprinkle some shell on and eat it with a huge spoon do you really you do you do a deconstructed taco bowl a lot of times yeah my man i don't know if that's the verbiage deconstructed taco bowl that's what they call the granite city i yeah i i don't know i just fucking love it's always a weird combination of food it's like a cheesecake factory menu array of like different kinds of food and everything i just and then just like the feeling of like catching up it's like kind of late but maybe you have a coffee anyway totally after like a long day of travel yeah i feel you when so much of our travel is like i got off the like i went right to the show or i got off the plane and like went right to the hotel like that feeling of of being welcome.
Starting point is 01:03:26 It doesn't always have to be apparent, but just being welcomed by people who love you after a long day of travel with food and conversation. It's just so cozy to me. I love it. Amy, tell me your second pick. Okay. Okay. Well, soup.
Starting point is 01:03:42 Yeah! See? I like how this is everywhere. No. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's soup time. It's fucking soup time. I made soup last night.
Starting point is 01:03:53 It's just one of the few things that can make you feel cozy inside your body. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. You gotta do both sometimes. The second most important cozy. Soup is like a tactical strike team. Like it goes in and does
Starting point is 01:04:10 the job. You know what I mean? You can't feel it taking over all the territory where you can just feel it kind of going down. You feel it moving through your system? The soup has conquered the front lines in my lungs and then you just kind of feel it going down. You're supposed to get soup in your lungs when you eat it, right?
Starting point is 01:04:29 You suck it. just breathe you breathe it in you're supposed to hop soup yeah yeah paper bag it just starts like so piping hot and then as it slowly cools it's like so perfect oh it's so good oh so good what's your favorite kind of drink it oh that's good um i mean like my mom's anything she like chicken soup or like the bean soup yeah um my boyfriend made this shrimp soup that was like when he was here that's like a thai, kind of like coconut. Yeah. And it's like, it's like spicy,
Starting point is 01:05:10 but creamy, but acidic. And it's like, Oh God. So he, what he won awards. He won super words. You want to board?
Starting point is 01:05:19 He won super words. That sounds so fucking good. Yeah. What super words? You're not going to say the award. Um, I don't remember what it was called Taste of the something I don't know, we won some cooking contest
Starting point is 01:05:32 In Colorado Biskin show Had to come down to the better state That's where they appreciate soup Not just a pretty face. Oddly enough, broccoli cheese for me. Broccoli cheese? I always had it at this place called Bonanza.
Starting point is 01:05:50 And I don't think it was heavy on the broccoli, more on the cheese. But I liked it a lot when I was a kid. I like split pea. Oh, split pea's so good. The exorcist soup. Like at Anderson's? You like ham in there? Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 01:06:02 Oh, yeah. Anderson's split pea is so good. Amy goes, you like ham in there? Yeah, of course. Oh, yeah. Anderson's split pea is so good. Amy goes, you like ham in there? Can you see the eyebrows come down at you? Well, I was upset. Trash and ham earlier. Split pea's got the different textures, too, because you only
Starting point is 01:06:18 smash part of the peas, and so you get creaminess, but still, yeah. Oh, so good. What's your favorite kind of soup? Is it the shrimp soup? Or you said, I guess whatever your mom makes, kind of, yeah. Like my mom's chicken soup. I do love a chowder.
Starting point is 01:06:33 I'm a big old chowder head. Fucking chowder. Fucking chowder. Chowder. I made the soup I made last night was like a chicken soup, but with kind of like a tomato paste base. It was so fun. It was like a little spicy. Ooh, a little spicy soup.
Starting point is 01:06:48 And to be honest, all the soups that Olive Garden is bringing to the table, our whole lives, are good. I feel like I only ever have them in the strong. Well, if you get the Neverending Bowls, you can switch up your soup. I didn't know that until very recently. Oh, yeah. You can get three different soups. Most of the soups that restaurants are doing, I feel like the old spaghetti factory had
Starting point is 01:07:14 a good soup. You'll get a good soup even at a chain restaurant. Also, a good bar to go chill at with your friends, not just a restaurant. The old spaghetti factory, sometimes people just go there and hang out. Very normal. For sure. For sure. Yeah, granted, city's closed. Yeah, it's great. Or you can't get to
Starting point is 01:07:29 Bennigan's, you just go to the Old Spaghetti Factory. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, you know what? I'm thinking of Old Chicago, not the Old Spaghetti Factory. Oh, okay. I've been thinking of Old Chicago this whole time. Way more normal. Yeah. The Old Spaghetti Factory. Straight up was wrong. The the old spaghetti factory is like dark
Starting point is 01:07:47 and all spaghetti like all food it's like not really a bar old chicago was what i was talking about i feel like we pick on you on this podcast and i and i know you don't take it personally because we're like best friends but sometimes i'm worried that the audience thinks that we pick on you factory you were right to do that. That was completely on me. Well, I was going to, but I was holding back because I thought it was so weird and I didn't want it to seem mean or anything like that because we're drafting cozy things. But like, it's fucking nuts. Having worked at an Old Spaghetti Factory, that would have been such a fucking...
Starting point is 01:08:17 You're a bunch of young dudes hanging out at the Old Spaghetti Factory. Crazy place. Psycho. Just a crazy place to get drunk. I'm glad I remembered that. The only people drinking at the bar at the old spaghetti factory are people nipping up from a family dinner for like one shot of whiskey before they go back and deal with their fucking nephews and shit like those two drinks at
Starting point is 01:08:34 the bar there and the people that work there who just finished a shift glad i caught that they wouldn't even let us drink because we i worked at the uh the flagship one and you couldn't drink there so you like after a shift you couldn't drink at the bar because i get it i guess like seeing like a uh mickey mouse get hammered at like california adventure or something yeah they knew you're gonna go nuts i get it yeah works at the strip clubs it it old for spaghetti right uh zupa excellent pick and now it is time for david time for your second pick i'm not gonna do it i'm gonna at the end i promise so if you don't all right i'm not gonna do it i'm just saying i'm not gonna do it you don't have All right. I'm not going to do it. I'm just saying I'm not going to do it. You don't have to. I'm taking a shower after a day of physical labor. Oh, yeah. God, it's so.
Starting point is 01:09:30 I had a couple winters where I shoveled snow just like at different apartment complexes. So it would be like there would be a snowstorm and you'd have to go at like 4 a.m. And then you just basically shovel till the night's over till like nightfall and there's just been a chill in your bones the whole time that you can't get rid of your feet are cold your fingers yeah yeah yeah and then when i did construction for a while same thing you're just like whatever you're doing you're building fences all day or even if you're just like power washing for 10 hours or some shit and then you come home and then like it would usually be like come home take a shower
Starting point is 01:10:10 eat and go to bed it's kind of like even if it's hot out strangely kind of even better from a hot day yeah even in the summertime yeah but just like i remember one day i got i was all hung over and i had to demo a tennis court i just had like a sledgehammer and a shovel and it was just like getting in the shower at the end of that day was like one of the best feelings i've ever had dude i did i had one day of construction work that sharpie got me he just he's like hey we need some help today you want to come i did half a day and i was so i was so cashed and sharpie he's like yeah i'll just drop you off for my lunch break and i'm like how on god's green earth are you going back for the rest of the day
Starting point is 01:10:50 i was soaked yeah sharpie's tough i mean that shit's like yeah it's just it's just like yeah it's just the best i ever slept in my life working even more than like even more than like football like you know you know how you'd have like football two-a-days yeah and you'd be like oh but like construction was like that every day where even like even if it was a light day you just it's still tiring you're just doing shit you didn't get a break you i mean you got an hour lunch break or something but other than that you just got to work an hour it was like you go we go and eat lunch and then you come back and then just when you're done you just come back there's then just when you're done, you'd just come back. There's no, like, chilling. But some days, like, Don the Painter would be there,
Starting point is 01:11:27 and, you know, he always had some beers in his cooler because he had a problem. Sure, sure, sure. So, you know, that's almost, like, not working. I never have, even when I was bartending. Working with beer? I never had, I guess now, but a job where you could drink during the job. I never did it with bartending, and all the rest of it was, like,
Starting point is 01:11:44 call center stuff. Well, they wouldn't let us. They knew. Yeah, but that call center, you had alcohol still in your body when you got there a lot of times. So you were good. You took care of it the night before. Last drink an hour before I go in a few times.
Starting point is 01:12:00 Straight up. But I was also 19 or 20 or whatever, so it don't know i don't know what happens to your body i guess that's what getting older is but it's crazy i think it should just be allowed to drink if you do construction yeah i mean we did or a lot of times like towards the end of the day or like depend like i've done like because you don't even realize you're drunk and then all of a sudden you're like doing bucket walk races. And you're like, wait, what?
Starting point is 01:12:27 Have you ever done that? When you have to bucket walk to put up grid ceiling or whatever you're doing. But I was like mad fast at it. So then I'd be right. Oh, the dogs. I used to work. Amy knows the dogs. Me and the dogs.
Starting point is 01:12:39 Like you wouldn't realize that you're drunk. And then the end of the day, somebody like, you know, wrestles you through some and you're like fuck i think it's time to go home yeah yeah didn't feel that i'm dizzy yeah that was fun but yeah just like that shower after a long hard day's work is like yeah not a lot beats that man that's it's good feeling it yeah when you that's like when you know how couches what why couches are so good yeah and then my next one is oh man uh fresh boxer briefs oh like the first time you put them on and not not boxers and not briefs you weirdos boxer briefs when they're still like the elastic still kind of snappy the elasticity it holds everything where it should be because after a while it gets you know like when they get loose you know what the crotch pouch
Starting point is 01:13:38 oh yeah gets like the with the crotch pouch gets beat up these might as well be boxer shorts you want it to hold you like a baby bird where they're like gentle enough not to crush it but firm enough so it doesn't get away and hurt itself that was after that when you get a vasectomy they're like buy brand new underwear out the package and wear those for the first few days did you get a vasectomy oh baby you know i got a vasectomy have i not i had no idea yeah yeah man yeah i did it you know we don't all wear capes why do underwear it seems like you would want the old stretched out ones they said you want because they get too stretched out your penis makes too much of an indent mine then it's like yours specifically your penis the royal way it is the royal way the royal fudge is stretched your
Starting point is 01:14:29 highness thank you king shit uh yeah because when they the older they get they it just gets kind of more blown out and stuff sits looser but that first like the first one it's like wearing football pants like you feel fast yeah you're wearing football pants oh my god you're like like suited and booted in football and you're like i might be the fastest strongest person alive yeah yeah that's how new boxer briefs feel on the football team it was all a little baggy and baggy football pants i also think that you were probably the 40th kid to get pads i also think you requested baggy football pants? I also think that you were probably the 40th kid to get pads. I also think you requested baggy football pants. I might have. It's funny because in basketball, I got, so basketball, all the baggy shit was cool.
Starting point is 01:15:12 And I got the skimpiest Larry Bird ass shorts you've ever seen. But then in football, you wanted things that fit. And my clothes were baggy because I just, I got shoulder pads that were way too big for me. Because I just didn't, I never played. I've just got a lot of unsafe football equipment not that any of it's like super safe but i used to feel bad for those like i was like it's not even bragging but it was like if we got new pads i would always be in the group of people who got the new pads and stuff i didn't even get whatever version of an email was back then i didn't even get that the phone call i guess they didn't call my mom was it like that for you ian it was always like it was kind of like
Starting point is 01:15:49 like seniority is like how you get or like if they got new gloves it'd be like you know starters get them and then yeah i was so big even then that i was just like whatever fits carmel yeah no i always got the new shit but uh yeah no uh the fresh boxer briefs boy perfect cozy uh anyway time for your third pick okay my third pick is gonna be me watching something while resting your head on a butt or a tip. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait. Okay.
Starting point is 01:16:28 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to have watching something on there, but yeah, sure. Well, it's not. Yeah. I know what you mean.
Starting point is 01:16:36 I know what you mean. Nice cozy movie, and then you're just no pillows. You're just using, I guess it's kind of also related to the naked fat people. No, it's okay. I was going to pick full disclosure.
Starting point is 01:16:49 I thought somebody was, I was going to pick big ass titties. So this is great. But you can do it on skinny people too. You know, resting on even, even on a washboard app. Honestly,
Starting point is 01:17:02 if you're watching something, it's easier to see the screen with a washboard ab it is because there's nothing tell me nothing getting in your eye line great yeah i mean my penis will get in the way sometimes that's right that's right blowing out all these crotch holes uh yeah no i'm just laying down and uh the best little residual heat it's cozy or one person's on their tummy and then another person rests the head on the butt yeah there's just nothing better than that sometimes they play with your hair a little bit while you watch it oh yeah i want to say keep going when someone's just doing this but i always feel weird when i'm like
Starting point is 01:17:44 we just keep doing that. It just feels creepy. Someone? You mean your wife? Yes, my wife. I do it too. When he comes and visits, I'll play with his hair. It's fine. I sit on the floor doing banana grams alone and Ian's just kind of combing through my hair. I'm writing monologue jokes for the Late Late Show
Starting point is 01:17:59 just playing with his hair. It's nice. It's a nice thing to do for a friend. It's cozy. But then when i want more i'm scared to ask no you shouldn't be i gotta go to work oh i feel you laying laying on a butt it's great i like titty or tummy yeah i think goes tummy but titty for me in order of like because i feel bad about laying on a titty because i think I underestimate how tough they are. I think side of the butt. It's what they're named after.
Starting point is 01:18:30 Tough titty. Tough titty. I know, but I'm like, oh, what if my fucking chin hits their nipple and then all of a sudden it hurts? Like you don't really run into that with a butt. Yeah. The butt can handle the big old bowling ball head.
Starting point is 01:18:42 Yeah. Yeah, I got a big dough. Plus if you're wearing a bra and everything's kind of gathered up, then that doesn't really hurt. And it's more, you know, surface to put. I mean. I'd rather they weren't. That kind of information, I mean.
Starting point is 01:18:54 Laying on my back there. Who knows where they're going? Yeah. Good luck finding a place to lay your head. You have latchkey kid boobs? No, it's like a bird making a nest. I'll just find my way. You scoop them up together.
Starting point is 01:19:10 I'm good over here, I promise. David's making a titty nest with his hands right now. You can say that about me most days. Time for my third pick. Sean, I forgot you have a hard out so i'm gonna move this along uh i'm going to take a uh in like a like a cozy obviously a cozy version of this but like an independent bookstore yeah almost like powells dude i get cozy in those and i hate reading less powells because Powell's is just so fucking super massive and usually so
Starting point is 01:19:47 crowded. They don't have places to chill out. They have cats. Yeah, like a bookstore with cats or they have chairs. You know what I mean? Big vintage couches. Yeah. Like the Meg Ryan You've Got Mail one. That was a pretty cozy one. But yeah, one of those.
Starting point is 01:20:03 I just love the smell of books i love there's something very cozy about that feeling like of being surrounded by i this is gonna sound so corny but like all these like different like escapes and like all this collected knowledge all that like the potent like the potential of you being able to read it never knowing you're never gonna read all these books but just being being like, Ooh, what's like, what direction could I take? You know what I mean? Like to me is like a very cozy, fun feeling. If there's a coffee shop and it smells like coffee in there too,
Starting point is 01:20:31 or like hot chocolate. Oh yeah, for sure. Oh, it's amazing. You just hear like the, like the, but like in the background,
Starting point is 01:20:39 you know, like, like light conversation. It's just such a cozy place to be. If there's one of those in a city when i'm visiting i'm like especially now that i'm married to dana who like that's her the only place she ever wants to go but like that's the first place i'm gonna go oh it's just such a nice cozy feeling oh for sure and again can't stress this enough i love a cozy bookstore and i'm not i might think about
Starting point is 01:21:02 escaping but i never do i go to the i go to the dusty dvd collection in the back and i'm not i might think about escaping but i never do i go to the i go to the dusty dvd collection in the back and i'm like i'll get one of these so i leave with something yeah the best when you're a kid and there's like a little special fun rug with like oh yeah freeways on it or whatever or beanbag chair a lot of kids books though when you were kids yeah i read both i was picking up a lot of adult novels because that's what was around a lot of grown-up books i i recently discovered i wasn't a very good kid oh hi you mean like you weren't good at being a kid or you were not a kid i just was like i just was never with that shit yeah i read a lot of book i read a lot of kids books but i also did like a ton of i mean a ton of adult books i read moby dick book i read a lot of kids books but i also did like a ton of
Starting point is 01:21:46 i mean a ton of adult books i read moby dick when i was like 10 but like right yeah yeah but i like red wall and stuff like that like i gotta do it clockers like when it came out oh yeah i went to christian elementary school with uh yeah reading the world according to garp my teachers had no idea what it was. Blockers is a great book. It's a great book. I've never read it, but I imagine it's as fucking gnarly as the movie. I like my mom's weird sociology books.
Starting point is 01:22:19 It is very strange. Oh, wild. Yeah. Our body, ourselves taught me so much. Also, growing up poor and, like, just weird shit. It doesn't matter. Amy just briefly mentioned it, but I'm picking a big, big version of a beanbag, one of those giant beanbags. My buddy Pete had one of those that are, like, the size of a pompazon, you know?
Starting point is 01:22:42 Pompazon, yeah. Pompazon. Tom Pompazon. I thought it had an m in there uh the ones you could just fall in i know he had one in it it's the the dopest thing because you could just stand up fall back and then you're just you're just in a perfect just a perfect chair yeah and i just i love like as a teenager if i went to a dude friend's house and they had a big beanbag chair i just sort of knew not to sit on that because i thought it had come on it oh yeah that's probably pretty smart we had a lot fair though that's everywhere you went in a dude's
Starting point is 01:23:16 sure was room and i was going in with a black light so you're the original room we had three or four like little beanbag chairs which looking back is such an odd look in your living room for furniture we had like tiny ones but a big one was like 600 bucks and none of us and a one friend had one the love sack yeah it was like the spot at his crib i love the sound of it too when you sink into it and you can hear those little styrofoam balls scratching around in there he got mad at us because we would i think we broke it at some point because we would just like jump on grown-ups and we would just jump onto it do flips onto it those it was just a blast the most oh yeah when those balls start coming out it's a mess yeah that's why you got to get
Starting point is 01:23:58 new boxes come on guys for your beanbags i'm trying my best he's gotta give me some gotta give me some leeway fourth pick uh i'm i'm picking sitting with a can i pick this do we do this yet sitting with a kitty on my lap can i pick that yeah i was gonna take that next it was never getting back to you david no i've been because of the dirty jokes oh no i really don't like many cats besides like oh yeah you're far away from the cat lifestyle yeah i'm pretty far out of it i don't know man it's cozy when they just curl up and you just it's honestly you just see something else so comfortable that it just makes me just makes me cozy i'm just like yeah this is where i need to be right now little A little kitty curled up. A sleeping kitty?
Starting point is 01:24:45 Oh, yeah. Oh, get out of town. That's so cozy. Yeah, it's the best. They're little toes? He has a little Christmas house right now. Oh, girl, come on. He doesn't spend much time on my lap because she's in her Christmas hut. Bertie sleeps on her back, which is crazy to me.
Starting point is 01:24:58 She sleeps on her back. I don't know. I've just never seen cats really sleep on their back, but it's just adorable. Anyway, a little sleeping kitty on my lap. I love a sleeping kitty, dude. That's a great pick.
Starting point is 01:25:10 Thanks, bro. And when they yawn, dude. Oh yeah. They're a little furry belly. They've been scratching you a little bit. It does kind of hurt,
Starting point is 01:25:19 but you're like, go ahead. Oh, I'll take it every time. Come on. They're a little furry, but they're anyway we gotta go keep moving i'm sorry do a cat belly patreon special where i just talk about cat bellies
Starting point is 01:25:31 fuck okay oh i so like when you don't have to wake up yeah oh that was new york every day in new york every single day in new york like that. Every day of my life. That was another mental cozy feeling where you're like, just, yep. I remember talking about it the night before, like, oh, I'm so excited that I don't have to do anything more. Or when you did, and then you call in sick to work and go back down, like an office job or something. Oh, my God. There's nothing better than that.
Starting point is 01:26:03 When you finally make the decision, like, fuck it, I'm calling. And that email that says you're working from home and then going back to sleep. You know what's so cheesy, but I got to tell the truth. I would always get like the buyer's remorse from calling in. And I called in a lot. I called in a lot. And it would be like, I don't know. It's so, it's just, i'm not proud of it guys and i still did it all
Starting point is 01:26:30 the time but i would always like i'd call in and for the first hour or two i'd feel good and then like three four hours later i'd be like man i could have been making some fucking money oh yeah you're not getting that good sleep either because you just feel bad yeah yeah yeah it just was always like that's all we want yeah working at 3 p.m that's fine i could be there later yeah yeah i feel remorse about a salary job dude i'm a fucking stooge i hate it like i like i don't know what it is i just start to feel guilty like and bad i know it's awful i hate it but it happens i would feel bad for my co-workers in a situation where i know like someone's having to do twice the work that day but in like a corporate office i don't give a shit yeah call centers that was never the case call centers it was like
Starting point is 01:27:16 okay yeah just whatever gets done today gets done just like every other day doesn't matter i just love like a son like give me like a sunday morning i don't have to wake up i even even if like i'm waking up even if it's like eight but it's like i did it was my decision you know what i mean and now i'm gonna wake up early and go get a coffee even that feels cozy to me sure yeah autonomy autonomy freedom uh we will get to the next uh pick which is amy's right after this short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by babble uh if you want to learn a new language the best way is to uproot your entire life you drop everything you're doing just go to a brand new country you figure it out from there but this isn't the talented mr ripley all right you're not jason bourne you
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Starting point is 01:29:40 they prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college, which, come on, that's a no-brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there. And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-b-e-l.com slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply and we're back welcome back to all fancy everything already in progress we're going to speed towards the end here because sean has to watch his child i do i know amy miller time for your fourth pick okay my fourth pick is quilts. Oh, yeah. I have so many.
Starting point is 01:30:26 Everyone in my family has so many quilts. My mom's always buying them. Some she made, some my grandma made. I just like a heavy blanket on me. Yeah. You know, a lot of weight. But if it also is something like handmade and soft, and they always smell like the closet, that like my favorite smell it's like when you
Starting point is 01:30:45 get it crisp out of the closet it hasn't been used all year oh yeah oh just smells like old wood yeah yeah it feels on my legs quilts like the different textures i keep one in my car and if i'm ever like just in case when i used to do the road more driving oh yeah like if you have to take a nap in your car and you have like a handmade quilt you're like i'm doing all right yeah yeah yeah this is just for safety pulling over yeah pulling over so i don't get an accident but this is you know this is my choice with my quilt exactly oh i love quilts oh that's great also like the way they're like if they're made out of different fabrics, the way the fabrics age at different rates too.
Starting point is 01:31:28 So like there's like a very silky part, but next to like this wool part that's still, I don't know. Yeah, they're so great. Even sometimes when one triangle is ripped and then you feel the cotton inside. Oh, yeah. Put your little finger in there. Even the word quilt, cozy. Cozy feels good.
Starting point is 01:31:44 It's got the L. It it's got it just got everything quilt oh well well wow sounds like a sound you make if your mouth is open for too long oh excellent pick rounding it out david boy time for your fourth and then your final picks so fourth i'm going to say oh you're bad after you've been on the road for a while oh yeah like so many times if i've been on for like a month or something like that or like when like just that like you come in and sometimes it's like it always it's always when you get home at like three or four and you just don't even do anything you just go right to your bed and just like lay down for a while cry for a little bit and then you're like
Starting point is 01:32:35 oh man this feels so so good yep we were gone for five days and and I slept in my bed last night and I was like, this is the best bed that's ever existed. Yeah. It's, it's so crazy because my window gets smaller and smaller. I remember one time when I was like 24, I was up for like nine weeks and now it's like, it's like now it's like 10 days and I'm like,
Starting point is 01:33:01 I gotta get, I gotta get back. Yeah. Like when you were here and you were gone for like you went to omaha afterwards and you had that giant suitcase and you were like oh i've been out for three four weeks i was like i don't i'm not i'm not tough it makes it even sweeter when i get home yeah it's so good though that first one goes away if you had bad beds as a kid or like poor kid beds or a bunch of different beds or i
Starting point is 01:33:26 want to share with my sisters yeah it's just like yeah i i truly feel grateful for my bed every single time i get into it yeah it's amazing on purpose yeah and i just i didn't have a bed right i slept i slept on a couch from like 22 to like whenever i got to solomon's house to like 28 we would have those like cheap like futon mattresses where they would fall in between every slat oh yeah yeah yeah i had a futon for a while when i was a kid for for some reason why why why uh but yeah no that your bed after a long fucking trip on the road is like fantastic and And now a lightning round to close us out. All right. And hugging someone who actually loves you.
Starting point is 01:34:10 Yes, sir. Oh, my God. You took mine. Yeah, totally. Why? I thought that was going to be the last pick of the whole draft. Amy. I was going to do unconditional love.
Starting point is 01:34:20 Okay. Okay. Well, now I got a pivot and I don't have much time I mean I'm going sending candles you know I'm a white lady look at me look at my home it's like 95 candles burning right here
Starting point is 01:34:37 yeah you have a very cozy home thank you you're so cozy it inspired me to make my home more cozy it's the main goal I don't care. I appreciate all your mid-century modern homes. Great. They look beautiful.
Starting point is 01:34:51 I'm going for cozy. Sure. And you're succeeding. Thank you. There's a lot of style as well, but it's just, you know, cozy. I'm going to take cradling a hot beverage for my final pick. That's what I was going to pick. I'm a team man myself, but I'll do it with a cup of coffee.
Starting point is 01:35:10 Anything cider? Hot toddy. I had a hot toddy in New York. Hit the spot. John Jordan, your final pick. Hot tub when it's snowing outside. How about that? I just did this.
Starting point is 01:35:24 That is good. That is amazing hot tub in the snow baby shout out to colorado super producer marissa do you have a pick of cozy things yeah having a seat in a coffee shop by the window uh people watching those outside in the snow or the rain oh that's so good oh you're like come on in you could be like me yeah you don't have to live like that fantastic well we want to hear yours hit us up at all fans oh wait i gotta recap uh david you went first you took naked fat people showering after a day of physical labor fresh box debriefs your bed after you've been on the road and hugging someone who actually loves you amy you went second you took robes soup watching something while resting your head
Starting point is 01:36:06 on a butt, a tit, or a tummy, quilts, scented candles. I went third. I took the sound of rain on a roof, mom's dinner after you get off the plane, a bookstore, like a cozy independent bookstore, when you don't have to wake up and cradling a hot beverage.
Starting point is 01:36:21 Sean, you went last. You took pajama pants, a booth at a bar when you know you're going to be there a while, a big-ass beanbag, a kitty on your lap, and a hot tub when it, you went last. You took pajama pants, a booth at a bar when you know you're going to be there a while, a big-ass bean bag, a kitty on your lap, and a hot tub when it's snowing outside. These are a few of my favorite
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