All Fantasy Everything - Disney Songs (Live w/ Katie Nolan, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything live from the bell house in Brooklyn, New York, New York, United States of America, North America, Western Hemisphere, Northern Hemisphere, IRF. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. How's everybody doing? How's everybody doing? Yeah! Ian Carmel on Twitter, Ian Carmel on Instagram, Ian Carmel on Jewish Raya. Which for boys is just Raya. How's everybody doing? Are we ready to have fun tonight?

Starting point is 00:01:20 Yeah! Everybody's dressed to the nines. I love to see it. Let's give it up one time for super producer Marissa back in Los Angeles. Yeah! Everybody's dressed to the nines. I love to see it. I love to see it. Let's give it up one time for super producer Marissa back in Los Angeles. She's not here. She's not here. But she will... She will hear this, and I want her to know

Starting point is 00:01:37 we played Pup before all the live shows in her honor. And in Pup's honor. We fuck with Pup. Shout out to Pup. Shout out to Puppies. Unless they're on airplanes. And then we, you know, you understand my feelings on that. Now listen, Sean and David couldn't make it.

Starting point is 00:01:54 It's just going to be a bean tonight. And I thought, wow, what an opportunity for me to sing some of my original songs. I got a big ol' hot ball of great nuts. That's not a solo song. Listen, listen, listen. I was lying to you. Only David's not here. So,

Starting point is 00:02:16 it's my pleasure to bring out a man who you know as Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on the gram. Give it up for Sean Jordan, my friends. Is it weird that I sat all the way down here?

Starting point is 00:02:38 Yeah. I don't know. I feel like Should I come down there? It feels like we're two boxers giving a press conference. Like, I don't know. I plan to run out of breath within 45 seconds. Yeah, I don't even want to fight. I'll probably just stand there and try to hug you until you submit. I love that.

Starting point is 00:02:54 I couldn't love him more if we shared a last name. I've been to Thanksgiving with your family. I don't want to box you. You know what I mean? I wish you'd come to Christmas and Hanukkah too. We just love Sean Jordan. And the fact that we have to box is an unfortunate reality. Gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.

Starting point is 00:03:10 You know what I mean? You know he's wearing shorts and tie-dye. I see it. I love it. It is a bold move for a 37-year-old with a gray beard to wear a tie-dyed shirt. I just got into tie-dye like two days ago. It does look like you're a CIA agent trying to bust up a street wear like counterfeiting ring. Now, if you guys could tell me where all the weed in the Supreme store is, I think I'll be... You guys see that latest Coms de Garcon collaboration? No, I don't do any weed drugs at all, so I'm definitely not a cop.

Starting point is 00:03:40 I wouldn't worry about it. A lot of iced tea. You know what I mean? One day, dude. One day. Colors. I saw iced iced tea. You know what I mean? One day, dude. One day. Colors. I saw iced tea live. Cool, right?

Starting point is 00:03:51 Solid story. Beginning, middle, and an end. It had a moral. I think we all learned a lesson. Two hits, Carmel. Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor. We're back to boxing stuff.

Starting point is 00:04:02 Climbing up the top shelf. I lost my leg! I listened to Dropkick Murphys like 30 times. Yeah. This guy listened to Shipping Up to Boston how many times before the show? If we're being honest, 12. For real.

Starting point is 00:04:18 I don't know when the last time you guys heard that song was, but it's fucking, it hypes you up. It'll get you there. It's a nice, loud song that smells great and it'll get you there. It's a nice, loud song that smells great, and it'll get you there. You know what I mean? Hits. There's no way that song smells great, by the way.

Starting point is 00:04:34 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That smells like that where you're like, you know the next morning, and you're laying in bed with someone, and they start kissing you, and you're like, oh, I need to brush my teeth. I need to. Like, that's what and you're like, oh, I need to brush my teeth. I need to. That's what that song smells like.

Starting point is 00:04:49 Where you're like, oh. It feels like you got hair on your teeth. Like I got 36 dead teeth. You know. You know him as the genius silent on Twitter. You know him as coolguyjokes87 on You know him as CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. Give it up for David Bore. Hey!

Starting point is 00:05:26 Yeah. There it was. David, hi. Hey, buddy. Hi. Hey. Hell yeah, dude. I like your sparkly hat.

Starting point is 00:05:36 Thank you. Ooh, it's sparkly. I bought it in London, and I'm not sure about it. I like it. I like it. I just got into tie-dye, so I'm in. You're just like every kid who sold me weed at summer school. Listen, I'm definitely not a cop.

Starting point is 00:05:55 I don't know why everybody keeps bringing it up. You got like a wooden badge that says Willow and puff paint on it? Give me that fucking thing. I'll do a kickflip right now. You for sure look like you're good at Magic the Cabin. Which isn't a fucking thing. I'll do a kickflip right now. You for sure look like you're good at Magic the Gathering. Which isn't a bad thing. You got to be real confident to wear this level of tie-dye. Man of my age. So I can take every word you got to say.

Starting point is 00:06:13 How old are you? 37 years young, my friend. Hell yeah. I dye my beard gray. I didn't know you knew enough about Magic the Gathering. If you guys ever want to talk about Magic the Gathering, I'm down for that episode. I don't know you knew enough about magic. If you guys ever want to talk about Magic the Gathering, I'm down for that episode. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:27 Tap mana. Thicket Basilisk. That's just, no, that's a nickname you made up. Thicket Basilisk. Is it Basilisk? Well, Basilisk is a... She called you the fuck out. No! No!

Starting point is 00:06:49 New York City. It's going to be hard to reenter the pageant without a face, all right? Oh, shit. Put your shirt on. I will sit... I will Michelle Pfeiffer this chair. Thick and Basilisk is an actual, it's a green card. It's a little lizard, and, uh...

Starting point is 00:07:08 Wait, one second. Go on. You said you're going to Catwoman that chair? No, Michelle Pfeiffer it, Doc. He's got a dangerous mind, that chair, David. He's got a dangerous mind, that chair. Get your head out of your ass. Look at the situation.

Starting point is 00:07:20 They got me facing, I can't live a normal life. Because I got to be down with this hood shit. I got to be down with the hood thing. Too much television watching me chasing dreams. It's funny you bring up TV. I don't do TV. It's a choice that I made a while ago. It's a personal choice. Just yesterday, you know when you're like, we, uh, they, uh,

Starting point is 00:07:40 Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. You got badussy mouth. That's what shipping up to Boston smells like. Badussy mouth. Define my wooden leg! Sorry, Marissa. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:06 Michelle Pfeiffer. Yeah. An underrated actor, in my opinion. Grease 2, better than Grease 1. I won't hear any argument. Not true. Nobody thinks that. Yeah, that's a crazy...

Starting point is 00:08:16 Obvious. I know. No. Grease 2 with the British guy? Go... That's what you like? Go boo yourselves for not getting an obvious case of hyperbole. What were we talking?

Starting point is 00:08:28 Oh, no. Yesterday, they were like, what kind of tequila do you want for the green room? And we were like, yes. No, but they were like Don Julio. And then we started talking about Don Coolio. What if that was real? And the guy helping us was like, we were joking about it. Very clearly joking about it.

Starting point is 00:08:44 I was like, yeah, the lid has his little braids coming out of it. And he was like, is that real? He loved it. Is that a real thing? Where can I get it? That's so funny. Shout out to that dude. That guy was awesome.

Starting point is 00:08:58 Yeah. He really was. That guy. Shout out to the Sinclair. Shout out to the fucking Bell House in Brooklyn. This place is dope. You're probably wondering what this last remaining chair is for. That's right, Elijah the Prophet.

Starting point is 00:09:12 Why on this day? Yard sale. Why on this day do we recline when we eat, when on other days we recline or sit? Passover's weird. I'll walk you guys through it one day. Our fourth guest, we could not love our fourth guest more.

Starting point is 00:09:30 Someone who's been riding with us for a very long time, someone who we adore, someone who we're so lucky to have on the show. You know her as Katie Nolan on Twitter. Yeah! You know her as Nady Colon on Instagram. Give it up for Katie Nolan. Yeah. You know his nanny colon on Instagram.

Starting point is 00:09:46 Give it up for Katie Nolan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have goosebumps. My hair is moving. Are you crying? Seriously, I have goosebumps.

Starting point is 00:10:00 Look at that. That's so sick. What? You say that like it's a weird thing. Like, you say that all the time. I have goosebumps. This Dairy Queen is so good. I have goosebumps. Look at that. That's so sick. What? You say that like it's a weird thing. You say that all the time. I have goosebumps. This Dairy Queen's so good. I have goosebumps.

Starting point is 00:10:08 Every fucking time we hang out. Do not bully Sean. When I get here, you guys get mean to each other. No, not get well. Well, actually, that's true. You must have been around the whole car ride then because David was being a dickhead all day. I wasn't being a dickhead.

Starting point is 00:10:23 Don't do that. Don't tell them that. I was being super cool. We were having a fun time. I'll show them the cigarette burns. What did I do to you in the car? I didn't give you a shotgun and then it was on like Michelle Kwan. I didn't want a shotgun. Good to bring Katie out and then not let her talk

Starting point is 00:10:38 for 45 minutes. Everybody knows that about me. Thing one, David likes sitting in the back because it makes him feel rich. Thing one, David likes sitting in the back because it makes him feel rich. Thing two, can't read. You'd be the Venn diagram on those two types of people. You would be the Sven diagram.

Starting point is 00:11:00 Katie, how are you? It's so good. Yeah. Yeah. You just returned to us from the ESPYS? From the ESPYS. The ESPYS Awards? Yes you? So good. Yeah. You just returned to us from the ESPYS? From the ESPYS. The ESPYS Awards? Yes, that's correct. The sports awards. You were doing red carpet

Starting point is 00:11:12 coverage. Sure. What I was doing was drinking with the U.S. Women's National Team. Yeah! Fuck yeah. There was a moment in the night where I was talking to Megan Rapinoe. No big deal. I know. Good friends.

Starting point is 00:11:30 We're good friends. We go way back. University of Portland alumni, by the way. Portland, Oregon. Top of the food chain. And I went to show her something about something. And you don't often think about what the background of your phone is. Is it?

Starting point is 00:11:43 Mine is Megan Rapinoe. Oh, that's amazing. And so I pulled out my phone and was like, yeah, let me just go ahead, and I didn't even, it still didn't register, and I'm clicking on something, and she was like, what's the background of your phone? And I was like, what phone?

Starting point is 00:11:55 I've never had a phone in my life. She was totally chill about it, though, because she's the fucking best. Similar thing, yeah. Yeah, man, she's so tight. When I met Halle Berry, a very similar thing happened. Yeah. Yeah, the same thing happened when I met my own ass.

Starting point is 00:12:13 That is a picture of my ass was my lock skin for a long time. It's funny if you think about it. Cause people are like, damn, she thick. And you're like, yeah. We're like, damn, she thick. And you're like, yeah. Too thick.

Starting point is 00:12:30 Too thick. Too thick. Grab a tooth pick. We got to write that song at some point. We got to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isaac, shout out Isaac Lee from The Ringer. He's going to produce it for us.

Starting point is 00:12:43 So it's happening. And then we're going to make a video. Oh, God. It's called a sex tape. I feel like I'm testifying. I don't know what to do with my hands. I know. I remember my first hard seltzer. See that? The whole car ride.

Starting point is 00:13:01 You guys know she was trying to get in my head back there. Don't owe her. She was trying to get up in here. I walked in and you said I'm going to kick your ass today. You guys know, she was trying to get in my head back there. Don't owe her. She was trying to get up in here. I walked in, you said, I'm going to kick your ass today. I was like, hello,

Starting point is 00:13:09 I won. I said it sweet. I said it sweet. I said, I'm going to kick your ass. Like, I meant, before,

Starting point is 00:13:16 she was like, where are you going to sit? Don't fuck it up, idiot. That was after the kick your ass thing. I had to get in your head. But the kick your ass

Starting point is 00:13:23 was just like a sweet, ha, because you picked a good topic. You were like, getting in there. You were like, oh yeah, you're going to sit next to Sean like a dummy? Yeah. And then you were like, but maybe you sit next to Ian like a fucking loser.

Starting point is 00:13:34 Now I have the opposite of goosebumps. Thanks a lot, David. Fear Street. I made that joke already. It was last episode. Real. I don't fucking need you. I don't fucking need you.

Starting point is 00:13:47 I don't need any of you. I got a shiny hat. I got a Ralph Lauren light, just sort of a light breezy summer polo with a hood, optional. If a joke doesn't land, that just means it's a butterfly that wasn't ready to

Starting point is 00:14:03 come to Earth. Strong apple juice. Strong. You know, it's that kind of podcast. It is. At the end of the day. This does feel like we're testifying. I don't like it.

Starting point is 00:14:22 It really does. I keep thinking, like, Katie, pick up the mic. Don't pick up the mic. Never once in my entire career did I use performance-enhancing drugs while helping punch up jokes for Mariah Carey's carpool karaoke. I would love that to be your fall from grace.

Starting point is 00:14:47 Yeah, Carms was doing like hella fucking just like weird horse steroids. Getting heavy into special care. Only his neck got buff. I took horse pills once, true story, and I slept for like 20 hours. You didn't have to say true story. Nobody was going to fucking not believe you.

Starting point is 00:15:08 Nobody was going to be like, I don't believe you, David. Another one of David's famous allegories again. What's that an allegory for? I don't know. I think social media's effect on the adolescent mind and the way Twitter dehumanizes and... I don't like the allegory of this prison cell because I don't know what that was.

Starting point is 00:15:35 Oh, there you go. Oh, God. I don't know what it means. I really don't. Shuttle in the plane in any weather. That's what we've learned today. Am I the only one holding it like a loser? Listen, man, I'm a tie-dye guy.

Starting point is 00:15:48 I don't like to be restricted by mic stands and shit. What? Point taken. I was holding it like a fucking idiot. No, don't. No, put yours back in. That's why I took mine in. No, that's what she keeps doing to me.

Starting point is 00:16:03 I'm going, I got to be me. Not only does Katie Nolan have Megan Rapinoe, Rapinoe, Rapinoe. What? Rapapa, Rapapa. What? No, I know it.

Starting point is 00:16:13 You only have to know it for a couple weeks. I know it's Rapinoe. She went to the University of Portland. I know everyone who went there. Rapinoe.

Starting point is 00:16:23 What is she, some kind of plumber's apprentice? What am I not understanding? What? Huh? It's Rapinoe. Rapinoe?

Starting point is 00:16:30 She's dating Sue Bird. Yeah, hell yeah. That's so sick. See, that's, I mean, I'm glad I'm happy for Sue Bird, but she plays for a Seattle team, and as a Portlandian, I can't really get with that in any way. That's fair. Yeah, that's true. It's not fair. It's fair. I don't, I can't really get with that in any way. That's fair. Yeah. It's not fair.

Starting point is 00:16:47 It's fair. I'm not happy she's hurt, but I would like her to perform poorly. It's an important distinction and you made it, so we're good. We're fine. Katie also has a podcast I trust everyone already fucks with, but if you don't, it's called Sports. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:17:06 And my co-host, Ashley. Stand up. You're here somewhere. Ashley Graven. That's right. Two ladies host a sports podcast. Yeah. And that's why contractually we had to put the question mark at the end.

Starting point is 00:17:22 What's the right way to pronounce it? You got it. Sports? Sports? I'm like, we're going to rename it. I'm so sorry. That's the right way to pronounce it? You got it. Sports? Sports? I just, at this point, I'm like, we're going to rename it. I'm so sorry. That's what it's called. It's kind of fun to pretend like it just burst in on you, cheating on it. Sports? Sports? Sports? Sports, I thought you were coming back tomorrow.

Starting point is 00:17:38 Sports, this is on me as much as it's on you. Or like... That got me. That was a funny one. Or what if like button-up shirt, sleeves rolled up, clearly you've been

Starting point is 00:17:54 pulling an all-nighter because there are Chinese food containers empty on the table behind you. You've got a chalkboard full of formulas and like you're

Starting point is 00:18:02 looking at it and you can't believe what the answer is. And you're just like... Sports? Sports. Sports. And then hard cut to you walking down a hallway very quickly,

Starting point is 00:18:24 like with your boss, and you're like, it's worse than we thought. We only have two more weeks. Yeah, that's about right. That sounds right to me. That's how you do it. Katie, the best ad reads in the game, by the way. I just want to...

Starting point is 00:18:39 Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I never laugh anymore because we work in comedy, which means our souls have been... But one of your ad reads, I cracked up just sitting alone. I don't know why that's funny. Which is the main way I sit.

Starting point is 00:19:01 I don't want to ask which one because then you'll be like, I was making that up and it was an out of the way. No, it wasn't. I texted you allegory. No, it wasn't. I texted you about it. Anyway. Have fun. We are gathered here today in the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York.

Starting point is 00:19:14 God damn right we are. Not only for me to make, I don't know, feeble attempts at comedy that end up kind of trickling out. Wait, we can do that? How's this side, by the way? You guys feel like you're getting a good... All right, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Starting point is 00:19:33 Just want to open it up. Just open it up. Just open it up. Open it up. Should we open it up? Close it back up. We're closing it back up. All right.

Starting point is 00:19:41 We're here today not only to make feeble attempts at comedy that go nowhere. Sean, how you got it? I'm just opening it up to this side. Strong side! What does that sign say? Shorts guy. He's giving them a complicated instinct.

Starting point is 00:19:56 Oh, 20 on the fat one. What's the other one say? Rats and bats. I don't remember that one. What does it say? Yeah, get bent, turkey. I don't remember that one. What does it say? Oh, yeah. Get bent, turkey. I don't remember it either. Who are you? Yeah, get bent, turkey. I'm a tie-dye person.

Starting point is 00:20:12 Is that what you think tie-dye people are? Hey, I don't know, chief. I say chief now. Oh, I like that for you a lot. I like you saying chief. I hate it. That's alright, chief. Hey, chief, let me get a quadruple Jameson when I go back.

Starting point is 00:20:27 You know what I mean? I'm kidding, I don't need that yet. Inverted. I rudely interrupted you. I heard him. I can't talk about it. We are gathered here not only for us to be reminded of iconic moments from all fantasy everything,

Starting point is 00:20:43 but also to draft a topic that I honestly can't believe we haven't done yet. And we are so happy to share it with you here tonight. Today, we are drafting Disney songs. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that Look at that Look at that There's people standing up That's right

Starting point is 00:21:14 I know I know Man I did that Thanks guys It was my idea It wasn't He's lying It was Ashley guys. It was my idea. It wasn't.

Starting point is 00:21:27 He's lying. It was Ashley's idea. It was Ashley's idea. It was Ashley's idea. But I get to take credit for, I'm the closest to Ashley here, so it was my idea. It was Katie's idea.

Starting point is 00:21:36 It was Ashley's idea, but it was my idea. But we're friends, so it was my caller idea. Sure. And I came up with a podcast, so it's my idea. And I wear a tie-dye now, so I'm cool with all of it. It's Sean's idea.

Starting point is 00:21:47 And I have a townhouse in the valley, so it's kind of my idea. You're a goddamn Lee C, I tell you. Oh, it's beautiful. Now, the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you. We throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot or not. We throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Whoa, whoa, whoa,

Starting point is 00:22:10 whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Every time I suck at this. No! You gotta pound it! I did. I... Didn't you just win? No, she didn't! First of all... No, she did! Don't fuck with me! You guys didn't see that! I haven't done that since high school. Second of all... You won. I don't care. I high school. Second of all. You won.

Starting point is 00:22:25 I don't care. I'm a stickler for rules. I shook it. You went like this. As a woman, I can't stand on stage and do this, David. No, this is not a main woman thing. This is not a main. Sorry, I wasn't like, oh, rock, paper, scissors.

Starting point is 00:22:35 That's not how I do it. That's not how I do it. You don't know what this is like. You can shoot open-handed. You can shoot open. Hit him in the face. I'll take this win, but it has been sullied. I am this close to picking the order myself.

Starting point is 00:22:53 Do you understand me? This. Okay, okay. Okay, sorry. We throw on shoot. Okay. No, I won, I thought. I won, I won.

Starting point is 00:23:00 You raised an issue. We're doing it again. We're doing it again. What do you want me to do? You want to make us think about it? I thought women can't jerk off. I'm ready. I thought women can't jerk off. I'm ready. I can't think. I'm ready. That's. You raised an issue. We're doing it again. We're doing it again. What do you want me to do? You want to make a stink about it? I thought women can't jerk off. I'm ready. I thought women can't jerk off.

Starting point is 00:23:07 I'm ready. I'm ready. That's not how I do it. That's not how I do it. Order. Order. Order in this house. We will have order in this house.

Starting point is 00:23:23 Oh, man. I like that you go south grip like you're cleaning a rifle or something. That's a move I never really thought about. Oh, are we doing it again or no? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh! Yes! Jesus. Dumbest shit I've ever done.

Starting point is 00:23:55 Same thing again. Part of the giant. Part of a giant. Too much action for the tie-dye guy over here. If you got a second, anybody wants to toss me another one of these girly things, would be great. It's a truly and it's a- They only have one flavor, I guess. It's a hard seltzer.

Starting point is 00:24:12 Seltzer's one of the more fun words to say when you're Jewish. Wait, you're Jewish, right? We're having a seltzer. Yeah, oh, 100%, bar mitzvah and everything. Yeah, I thought so. Look how happy they get. Everybody in this room. You've probably done this at all your shows,

Starting point is 00:24:28 but take a minute to appreciate. Look how many people are here. This is real cool. Yeah. This is real, real cool. You guys are all cool people. You're very close to the stage up front. That must be uncomfortable, but you're very cool people.

Starting point is 00:24:41 Yeah, they seem nice. That guy's looking at Sean? Yeah, yeah. Probably looking at the tie-dye, but I'm attached cool people. Yeah, they seem nice. That guy's looking at Sean? Yeah, yeah. Probably looking at the tie-dye, but I'm attached to it, so yeah. Man, you are the buffest dude who's ever had my face on his body. That's like... I doubt that.

Starting point is 00:24:56 You're swole, dude. That guy is swole. Yeah, you're fucking... You're brolic, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is brolic. That guy's brolic as hell. I want to get bad news in the next two hours just so I can run into his arms. Swole Patrol stops by every morning. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:25:13 You know what I was thinking about the other day? I was looking at Instagram, and this is going to sound really weird, because I've been chubby my whole life. I've been thinking about shirts that say, I'm a comedian. Sassiness just comes with the territory. It's a lot of words.

Starting point is 00:25:26 You stepped on my punchline. No, I was thinking, I realized I haven't really touched abs. Like, I haven't really touched, like, dudes with, like, chiseled abs. He was going to give me a pig belly. Your stomach looks like a sad dog that Keith Oberman would tweet about. It's a little sweaty too right now.

Starting point is 00:25:57 Not a feast for the eyes, I will say. It's one of those jokes, if you get it, it destroys you. That is exactly in my wheelhouse. Oh, boy. David, having won the game of rock, paper, scissors, is it coming upon you to determine the order of tonight's draft? Before you do that, I would love to remind you.

Starting point is 00:26:15 You know you're going to. Don't mess it up. Don't mess it up. Hot corner. Go ahead. Sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Starting point is 00:26:21 You talk whenever you want. You're our guest, and we love you. Before you do that, I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? What is that? That's a great question. You figure after about 150 of these that you'd wrap your goddamn mind around it. But I'll tell you.

Starting point is 00:26:38 I'll tell you one more time. I can't read. You know that. Let's say. I don't read, so it's the same thing. That's a personal choice. Goddamn right it is. So let's say that you're coming into New York and you're trying to go to the hotel

Starting point is 00:26:50 and then you see a sign that says the Brooklyn Bridge and you think that's the way to the hotel. So you tell Ian, who's pretty sure that's not the way to the hotel, like, nope, I've been navigating. You take the Brooklyn Bridge, goddamn it. So you go over the Brooklyn Bridge and five seconds into the turn, you're like, this, god damn it. So you go over the Brooklyn Bridge and like five seconds into the turn you're like, this ain't the way.

Starting point is 00:27:08 So you apologize to the car. You're two best friends in the world. You apologize to them and you say, listen, I just added... The car, who's fine with it, by the way. I'm driving and we're fine with it. Nobody cares. We were just like, we love you, whatever.

Starting point is 00:27:21 Do you want to know what a serpentine draft is or not, David? Another one of those hard-siders. Two more of them, actually. And you say, listen, boys, I apologize, but I just added 15 minutes to our five and a half hour trip. First of all, you said five. I lied. And then you lied to your two best friends because it was 15 and I said five. You motherfucker.

Starting point is 00:27:40 I did. Because I was thinking, it is taking forever. And then so you get across the bridge and you're like, well, alright, we already know, so let's turn around and let's go back across the Brooklyn Bridge again, see the Statue of Liberty, so it was alright. And let's say in an alternate universe, you just went back across

Starting point is 00:27:56 the bridge for some reason, and then back over to where the hotel was, and then back over to Brooklyn, back over to Manhattan, just kind of back and forth like that, you know what I mean? Like Kyrie Irving. Yeah, yeah over to Manhattan, just kind of back and forth like that, you know what I mean? Like Kyrie Irving. Yeah, yeah. He could, hey, hey, hey. He could ollie on a skateboard.

Starting point is 00:28:15 He can ollie on a skateboard, so I'm fine with it. Basically what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. What a hero! What's your name? Kyle? Shout out to Kyle. Fucking big shouts to Kyle. Katie Nolan got three bowls of loudmouth

Starting point is 00:28:36 soup right in front of her. Oh, shout out to At Seltzer Poppy. Oh, yeah. Shout out to At Soda Water Poppy, by the way, in the house today. Man, your kid had the coolest looking birthday. Congratulations. That's pretty insightful.

Starting point is 00:28:51 It was like a good outfit. I might do it from up here. I might do it from up here tonight. I'm not gonna. It felt, for a second, but then it got scary. You know, David did a horse tranquilizer one time. I don't think it was a tranquilizer. It would be cool.

Starting point is 00:29:07 I don't know what it was. Yeah, he just did a horse pill. It could have just been like a vitamin. It was that one that keeps him from bleeding. It was a pill that my friend's grandpa kept in his barn that we were later told was for horses. You ate a My Little Pony. I ate a My Little Pony. I ate a My Little Benzo.

Starting point is 00:29:28 I don't know what they want. If they don't want My Little Benzo, I don't know what they want. And they should take a long, hard look at themselves. Later, though, because we're doing the podcast. David, with knowledge firmly implanted in your mind as to what a serpentine draft is,

Starting point is 00:29:50 what is the order of tonight's draft going to be? David. It's myself, David Borey. David Borey first. David Borey first. My friend to my left, Sean Cougar. That doesn't matter. You're not going to pick anything I was going to pick. Sean, don't call me Corden Jordan. What are you going to do next, David?

Starting point is 00:30:07 My friend Ian Carmel. He took the hot corner. He took it. Okay. And when does Michelle Pfeiffer get to go? Yeah, I'm afraid now you've got the get real teacher seat. I've got to be worried about you. Fourth is a person I know, Katie Nolan.

Starting point is 00:30:28 Oh, that hurt. No, I didn't mean it. I'm having a very good time with you. I don't know why you had to hurt me to hurt her. You know I love a hot corner. This is how divorces work. It's Sean's fault. Not the first time I've heard that,

Starting point is 00:30:43 David. That's fine. It's Sean's fault. Not the first time I've heard that, David. That's fine. I had to sit at a table a lot like this and choose which parent I wanted to live with. It's so hard to be on this podcast because I just want to be listening to this podcast. All I'm going to bring to the table

Starting point is 00:30:57 is laughing at the jokes because that's all I ever... Okay, that's fine. It's going to be good content. Let's do this shit. That was the saddest shit I ever heard. I was doing HGH as a joke. All right.

Starting point is 00:31:09 What are you going to pick? Oh, yeah. David! It's the first pick. You have to look at your phone. I have a lot of bangers on here. There is a consensus number one pick. Don't you dare say it.

Starting point is 00:31:20 Shh. Nobody. Please. And if you take it, I will hug you backstage. Which one of these was I drinking? Under the Sea. I'm missing two. The human world is a mess.

Starting point is 00:31:36 What the fuck are you doing? I didn't set anything up. Was that not where we were at? What, you just threw an ornament? Was that not where we were at? You threw an ornament in a corner that you thought a Christmas tree might be in and I hadn't even put the Christmas tree up yet.

Starting point is 00:31:49 First of all, I celebrate Kwanzaa. We had a hymns read to get to. Yeah, no, I'm taking Under the Sea. Okay, well then. Take it Under the fucking Sea. I can't keep track at a live show. Sing what?

Starting point is 00:32:07 Oh, no. Don't do that. Each little snail here knows how to wail here. It is my chapter under the water, under the sea. You know what I'm talking about. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. No, it's saying do. Oh, no.

Starting point is 00:32:23 That's a different one. The seaweed is always greener In somebody else's lake You dream about going up there But up there's a big mistake The shoulder thing Whoa Oh, that's a great call, David Borey, for Sebastian Oh!

Starting point is 00:32:44 Okay Man call David Borey for Sebastian. Oh! Okay. Man. I mean, I always thought of myself as that priest with the boner, but now that you say it... I hear it now, you know? Itch little snail now. Those don't do well now.

Starting point is 00:33:03 You know what? The Under the Sea is the song that makes it weird to me that anybody was upset or offended that she's gonna be black now. It was a reggae song.

Starting point is 00:33:12 Like, this makes perfect sense. It's like Jamaican-themed. Like, why? Yeah. Her being a redhead is actually offensive. Yeah, it had, yeah. She was appropriating

Starting point is 00:33:21 even hanging out with Sebastian. She would be burnt. Okay, okay. But I see what you're saying, but... Yes, do take this side, please. Appropriating a watered-down reggae song is a very white girl thing to do. That's true, yeah, that's true. Damn.

Starting point is 00:33:40 Damn. It's why it's so complicated in television history. The thing I was going to do before you fucking jumped out there and took on to the scene, which was a great pick. I love it, by the way.

Starting point is 00:33:52 Thank you. I appreciate it. Before you fucking did that, I was going to have an honorary someone to start the podcast for us. Oh. Please.

Starting point is 00:33:59 Is it a saint? It's a saint. Oh, nice. She ain't here. She ain't here. I got to do it. Yes! Hey, what's up, y'all?

Starting point is 00:34:08 Hey! That's so cool. Carmel! Sue Carmel! Sue Carmel! Sue Carmel! Sue Carmel! Sue Carmel! Sue Carmel! Sue Carmel! Sue Carmel!

Starting point is 00:34:31 Sue Carmel! That's amazing. Oh, wait, wait. Okay, we got to get real quiet. Ma, how you doing? I'm doing great. I'm doing all right. Where does the volume come from?

Starting point is 00:34:41 She says she's doing top? Yes. Okay. Oh, it's my mom and my Aunt Nancy. Say hi to my Aunt. On the count of three, say hi, Aunt E. One, two, three. Hi, Aunt E.

Starting point is 00:34:56 Okay, cool. Listen, I would keep going, but we can't hear you because I got this fucking ridiculous phone case. It's like one of the odder ones because my last phone broke. But I love you. Oh, those are good. I love you. Love you both. I love you.

Starting point is 00:35:11 Katie Nolan loves you. David Bowie loves you. Sean Jordan loves you. Love you to pieces. We're going to kick off the podcast now with your blessing. We love you. Give it up for St. Sue Carmel.

Starting point is 00:35:28 You fucked that up, David. Seems like it went pretty well to me. That's why it's hot under the water. I'm never going to get my first pick. That was a banger, of course. Was that going to be yours, K-Town? No. Don't worry about it.

Starting point is 00:35:45 Maybe. Maybe it was. I like that song because don't they play like xylophone on an animal? Yeah. Anytime that happens, I'm into it. I love playing instruments on other things. Anytime a bunch of armadillos are like, oh, okay, all right, all right, okay. Is there an octopus playing drums at that part or did I just hope that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:02 The steel drums. Yeah, yeah. Steel drums. Even if there isn't, steel drums. Yeah, yeah. Steel drums. Even if there isn't, there is. Yeah. Yeah. You know?

Starting point is 00:36:10 Wasn't there like an anglerfish smoking weed? Yes. Even if there isn't, there is. That anglerfish wasn't actually in the movie. That was just

Starting point is 00:36:19 one of the cast members. That was the key grip, but yeah, there was an anglerfish off-camera smoking weed. It's like putting weed in one part of a hammerhead shark's head and then smoking

Starting point is 00:36:27 it out of the other. Oh, a hammerbong head! They're all bongs underwater. We're all bongs underwater. Hey, no other songs that might get picked. Huh? Don't say songs that might get picked. Oh, no, this is an original. This is an Ian Carmel original. And yeah, Disney might buy it, but we're...

Starting point is 00:36:47 We're open to bids from a lot of major studios. We're all bongs underwater. Sean Jordan! Time for your first pick. Don't do it. From the day we arrive on the planet. I knew he'd fuck it up. And blinking step into the sun.

Starting point is 00:37:09 There's more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than can ever be done. It's a circle of life. It's a circle of life. And it rules us all. Till we find our way. On the path unwinding. It's like the last chorus. It's the circle. The circle of life.

Starting point is 00:37:56 I've been wanting to do that all day. You left out the best part. You did leave out the best part. No! Si beña! Roba ni será! You left out the best part, which is... You did leave out the best part. No! And then you left out the next best part, which is... That's your favorite part? Yeah. No, no,ush a hominon. That's your favorite part? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:38:27 That's my second favorite part. I'm from Africa, and that's not my favorite part. You don't like where he says, hot banana, hush me hot banana? No. I like it when Timon goes, if he falls in love. That's a different shit. What are you doing? What's wrong with you? What are you doing? That's all right. That's a different... What are you doing? What's wrong with you?

Starting point is 00:38:46 What are you doing? You... That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. Chaos! Not one more word. What part of Africa

Starting point is 00:38:57 got that bootleg version? No, I meant to say my favorite part was the kings and Vagabonds. Oh, yeah, yeah. Circle of Life. Sierra Leone King. Is an amazing song. It gets me every time that goes on.

Starting point is 00:39:14 Oh, I bet it gives you goosebumps. No, it makes me bawl my eyes out. It does a lot more than goosebumps. Put that on a plane that I'm on. I don't need to have headphones. I don't even need to know that you're watching it. Just put it on a plane that I'm on. They'll kick need to have headphones. I don't even need to know that you're watching it. Just put it on a plane that I'm on. They'll kick me off the plane.

Starting point is 00:39:27 I watched it the other day. Yeah. I watched it the other day on the plane. I've seen it 45 times. Wait, what? The Lion King. Ah. Yep.

Starting point is 00:39:35 They'll kick you off. Not the new one. The actual. The old. Yeah, yeah. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Right, right. No, I know.

Starting point is 00:39:42 It's just while doing research for this tonight, every time I tried to find a song, it was like, do you want the new version? No, I know. It's just while doing research for this tonight, every time I tried to find a song, it was like, do you want the new version? No, I don't want the new version. I saw that when I looked it up, too. Like, why the fuck do I want Will Smith on a Disney song? It was crazy. It was crazy, though, that Elton John did that soundtrack. Sir.

Starting point is 00:40:02 That's insane. Sorry, sorry. you're absolutely right sir do the vagabonds part what what part is that hold on hold on don't vagabond's part. What part is that? Hold on, hold on. Don't. In Vagabond. Yeah, that's my shit. That's a different song, David. That's a different song. Oh, it's a different song? That's a different song.

Starting point is 00:40:30 No. Oh, what song did you sing? I said the Circle of Life. Circle of Life is very different from that other song. Oh, really? Please stop singing songs. That's why, like I said, Elton John did the whole, like a lot of songs on the same set. No, he didn't do the one with the kids.

Starting point is 00:40:44 No, he did like four songs. That's a lot of songs on the sand set. No, he didn't do the one with the kids. No, he did like four songs. Disney does this weird thing. Also, we didn't establish the terms of what counts as a Disney song, which I thought we'd do up top. But that's because somebody went right away and picked Under the Sea. I was excited to see you and my friends. I was going to say, certainly not me. We put a cold cut tray on our rider, and when I see that, it goes white.

Starting point is 00:41:06 The worst part about that cold cut tray is I smashed the sandwich so hard when we first got here, and Katie was like, ooh, watch out for that cheese. It's translucent. I'm such a monk. I hate a cold cut tray. Yeah, it looks crazy. No one full well.

Starting point is 00:41:20 I like when the cheese goes translucent. No. I'm sorry if that's exactly how fat I am, but I do like it. That means it's thinking about melting, but it's not quite hot enough, so it's just in this weird in-between where it sweats. I like it when it's no longer a boy,

Starting point is 00:41:34 not yet a man. It's like me on the subway where I'm like, I'm about to flop sweat, but I don't. Yes, so just so we don't sing any more lyrics to any other song, Circle of Life was my pick. Right. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:48 I also love how it ends with that one drum beat. It's a circle. The circle of life. And then it sounds like the Lion King. The Lion King. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:05 And then the pilot comes on and goes, we're going to make an emergency landing because clearly that dude's crying too hard in the back. We're going to land in Poughkeepsie and watch Shane Torres' headlines somewhere real quick. Oh, great. Wait, is he here? Oh, great.

Starting point is 00:42:19 Where is he? I can't even leave town to do a show in Washington, D.C. one night without y'all coming to the borough in which I live in and talk shit about me. Well, fuck you, Sean. Get a TV set, you fucking... That is what he would say. You fucking stinker.

Starting point is 00:42:39 Something like that. Wait, is now the time to tell the story that there was a night when you were here for the Tonys? Oh, yeah. And we were going to hang out. And Ashley and Steve, her husband, got a babysitter. Because we were like, we're going to hang out with Ian. We're going out with Ian.

Starting point is 00:42:53 You canceled at the last second, which I'm okay with. It was a work thing. I do that all the time. There's nothing that feels better than being like, I can't make it. And you're like, oh, God, I love that. But you did that. I was like, ew, Ashley's gonna be there? No, thanks.

Starting point is 00:43:08 Great, she's literally gonna cry for the rest of the show now. What a dick. I'm just kidding, I love it. We went to one bar and another, but we ended up going to our eighth choice, and we sat down, and all of a sudden, Ashley goes, look over your left shoulder.

Starting point is 00:43:23 Yes! So I look over, and I'm like, is that? She's like, I'm pretty sure that's Shane Torres. I sent like a creepy, or maybe you took it. Did you take it?

Starting point is 00:43:33 Like a creepy picture over my shoulder. Texted it to him. He's like, yep, that's him. Whoa. He was touching a back wall and making us rethink Guy Fieri and I was like,

Starting point is 00:43:43 for sure. That's for sure Shane Torres I think it's Shane Torres but there's mustard everywhere so I can't quite tell that's how you know

Starting point is 00:43:51 it's Shane Torres but what are the odds of that and then you were like yeah I'm definitely not coming now I was like cool cool cool

Starting point is 00:43:57 got it got it got it oh great oh great so yeah circle of life. I don't know any... All right. I might get the pick I wanted for my first pick,

Starting point is 00:44:10 so I'm feeling thrilled. Oh, but you listen to the podcast, so you already know what I want. God damn it. Yeah, but I gotta go with what I want. Good, good, good, good, good. No, take what Katie wants. No.

Starting point is 00:44:22 It's my first pick, so I have to take Yeah What is my favorite Disney song And what I think is The greatest Disney song Uh huh

Starting point is 00:44:33 And that song is Be Like You From the Jungle Book Oh I knew that's what you were gonna pick What did I say? I knew that's what you were gonna pick Are you just picking that Cause we're in Gowanus

Starting point is 00:44:44 And some Everyone here is in a band of some sort? I'm the king of the swinger ball or the jungle VIP. I reached the top and had to stop and that's what's bothering me. I want to be a madman, come and stroll right into town. Be just like the other men. I'm kind of more than a rat. Oh, Ooby Doo. I want to be like you. I want to walk like you, talk like you.

Starting point is 00:45:11 It's true. You see, it's true. And it's like me. Could learn to be human too. Three people know the words. You, you, me too. And then that one part. Three people know the words. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:29 But everyone who likes the Velvet Underground started a band. And because of that, we have, you know, low-key indie rock during every Chase Bank commercial. So. I don't know. It's my favorite song. It's Louis Prima. Who is a fucking legend. Sean Jordan.

Starting point is 00:45:49 I was talking to Nick Dampier earlier. In the room. In the room, actually. Nick Dampier, not on the microphone. In the studio. Give it up for Nick Dampier. Give it more up for Nick Dampier. Put your hands up, Nicky.

Starting point is 00:46:03 But yeah, I go, I know. If you like me, he's like most of the reason why. Yeah, this is the fucking ace. But yeah, I was telling Nick, I was guaranteed that your first pick. Yeah, I figured it too, because I know you love Louis Prima, and I know you love Baloo.

Starting point is 00:46:14 I just think that's... I consider myself, any woman who's ever been attracted to me, I think developed a small crush on Baloo when she saw the Django book. Also because you scratch your back against, like, trees sometimes. Oh, yeah. Like a Charmin commercial.

Starting point is 00:46:37 Getting mad, Dad. When we checked into the hotel, I was singing Circle of Life, and Ian was singing that song Scratch Your Back on the website. Oh, man, this is really living. I was singing Circle of Life and Ian was singing that song Scratch on his back on the website. Oh man, this is really living. I was like. That is living. I also love in the movie

Starting point is 00:46:52 because on Be Like You that's when Baloo puts on like, he puts on like the coconut shells and the grass skirt. Yeah, yeah. To fit in with King Louie's and he gets so caught up in the song

Starting point is 00:47:01 that like his outfit starts falling apart but he loves it so much, he's like, fuck it, whatever. You know what I mean? If you were feeling the song and your dick fell out, but you were like,

Starting point is 00:47:12 I kind of think that's the vibe. You're not really feeling the song unless your dick falls out. I think that's the vibe. Where are you dancing? Several places. About town. It's also a song about stealing fire.

Starting point is 00:47:33 I don't know. It's just my favorite song. It's the one that makes me the happiest. I'll fucking rock it in karaoke whenever I have the opportunity. If that song comes on, if I'm in a bad mood, it's a 180 mood thing. If I'm in a bad mood, it's a 180 mood thing. If I'm in a good mood, look out.

Starting point is 00:47:48 You know what I mean? Good mood Las Vegas. I'm buying everybody finger sandwiches. You know what I mean? And fucking. Or whatever people do when they're happy. I wouldn't know. Hey, man.

Starting point is 00:48:03 Hey, Ian. All around me are familiar faces. Car wheel. I wouldn't know. Hey, man. Hey, Ian. Carwheel. Steve. New car smell. You know, I started doing all fantasy everything. It was fun, but then I started worrying. Did they like me or did they like the idea?

Starting point is 00:48:28 Did they like Sean and David or did they like the idea? What was my place in the podcast that I started? Oh, you're just a laughing stock. You thought they were laughing at your jokes, but they're laughing at you.

Starting point is 00:48:41 They're laughing at you and your sparkly hat. You big, fat Jewish idiot. They're laughing at you and your sparkly hat. You big, fat Jewish idiot. They're laughing at your hat. You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror. I find it kind of sad. Oh, yeah. Tears for Fears is playing the zoo.

Starting point is 00:48:57 You should go. Best I've ever had. Yeah, yeah. Tears for Fears. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should get five tickets and see if anybody wants to go Jesus And then, you know

Starting point is 00:49:07 They throw in a free Zoom membership And you can take your nephew That's a good idea Yeah What? What's up? Holy shit, that was crazy What? I knew about four of those words

Starting point is 00:49:21 But I was like Not listening to you I was like I can't let him down I have to keep going. Katie Nolan, it's time for your first and your second pick. You got it.

Starting point is 00:49:32 I cannot believe when you gave me the fourth pick like a real dickhead. Like a real dickhead. I was like, oh my god, I gotta rethink my whole strategy, but my favorite three boys came through and picked dumb shit for their first pick. What?

Starting point is 00:49:46 Yeah! We're dumb! I knew I could count on Sean, but then these two. Woo! We are dumb. We are dumb. You may have had the bean burrito of the draft, because, look.

Starting point is 00:50:02 Whoa! Everybody, everybody called that. Whoa! I called out. I didn't think I was going to have to say this today. They don't agree, which makes me feel good. Yeah. And you feel bad. Yeah. That either means that yours was really bad or this.

Starting point is 00:50:13 Here's the point. You could have gotten that so much later. I don't care. Sometimes you make a pick in the first round because you want to elevate it. Sometimes you reach for Tom Brady in the first round and everybody laughs at you. It's fine. And I'm a Patriots fan. You just don't draft Tom Brady in the...

Starting point is 00:50:29 Okay, fine. We don't have to do this right now. So wait. Okay, that's enough of you, sir. Can we have him out of here? Unless he's saying, fuck Tom Brady. Oh, in which case...

Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just to know. Just, yeah. Just to know. just yeah Just to know Just to feel abs For the first time Huh Sean?

Starting point is 00:50:48 I want to touch some David? Not in a weird way Nope I also want to touch A starfish Like God damn it

Starting point is 00:50:55 I also want to touch A starfish Was the thing You said right before As he looked at it There's Sean over there Looking like the one year Rustin Donald's

Starting point is 00:51:04 Got a B on the health code. Okay, so with my first pick. Did I have a local reference to anything for you? All right. Sorry, Katie. No, that's okay.

Starting point is 00:51:15 That's okay. I'm just getting excited because I'm going to crush this draft. Can you just maintain eye contact while I do this? I want to look at you in the face when this happens. With my first pick

Starting point is 00:51:23 in this draft, I'm taking From Mulan. Oh! Somebody, I think there's an eagle in the crowd. There's a bald eagle out there. I'll make a man out of you. Bitch. Bitch.

Starting point is 00:51:48 Let's get down to business To defeat the Huns Did they send me daughters When I asked for sons You're the saddest bunch I ever met But you can bet before you lose Somehow I'll make a man out of you Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo dooio value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value value, the, the, when you want to, when you want to talk about, you want to Here's why. Here's why. A, that. B, it is the, when you talk about a Disney song, you want something that can, like, get the plot.

Starting point is 00:52:32 Backstage, I don't want to call you out, but you were like, I hate Hamilton. I don't think it's funny or good. It's okay. I hate school music. I hate music that sounds like school. The point was, he makes a good point, that, like, in musicals.

Starting point is 00:52:43 Eric, I think you did want to call me out. I think also, I think also, you wanted seltzers from stage because backstage you were like, I've heard you guys do that and it sounds cool and I was like,

Starting point is 00:52:55 I'm going to do it and then she came out and did it first. I think you're single black female-ing me. Single black female-ing you? Single white female but that you changed the race.

Starting point is 00:53:05 Now I'm in my head. Why? What did I do that? She's, you guys don't even, you guys don't even see. They don't even see the game you're playing. They don't even see. I see you, Katie. So here's what, here's the thing. It achieves the, it moves the plot forward. Uh-huh. While also being a

Starting point is 00:53:23 banger. It's really hard, and this was what I was saying, your point about Hamilton, it's really hard to make a good song that you wanna listen to when you're with your friends. And also just establishes plot that needs to get done. And they have every character is in that. There's that part where this guy's like,

Starting point is 00:53:40 this guy's got his good death. And it's very funny. It is a perfect song. And it has that key change. Who doesn't love a key change? That song is perfect. It is so perfect that I didn't see Mulan until four days ago, Ashley. Wait, what?

Starting point is 00:54:00 I know. I know. That's my bad. That's my bad. But I know every word to that song. That's my bad. But I know every word to that song. The crowd is turning. But I... Okay.

Starting point is 00:54:10 What? Wait! What happened? All family, I implore you. We didn't decide on the topic until last night. So she didn't watch it because of this. She just happened to watch it. Also, how did you miss Mulan?

Starting point is 00:54:26 I think it was right at the end of me. I'm old. So it was right at the end of the amount. That's where I was, too. I didn't see it. And I should have. But you reach a certain age and then you're like, I'm not going to go back and watch a cartoon.

Starting point is 00:54:39 Oh, I can see Mulan. I'm a big boy. You know what makes you feel young when you reach a certain age is you wear tie-dye. It'll really, it'll get you there. I'll try that. That's a good idea. I was like, take me to Red Dragon instead. And then I watched it and I was like, I hate this.

Starting point is 00:54:57 You know, when you get older. So anyway, my point was in embarrassing myself that I'd never seen Mulan, which, by the way, great film. And it holds up a little. There's a couple parts where you're like, eh, I don't think that's great. But it holds up more than most. Anyway, it was, that song, I knew every word

Starting point is 00:55:13 of that song because it's that good of a song and none of you picked it. I thought I was going to get it in the third. I'll tell you this, that could have been the 19th, dare I say 20th pick. None of us were going. I know these two pretty well. No, it's on my list.

Starting point is 00:55:28 Is it really? I guess you did know every word. I'm not going to show you my list. Let me see your fucking list, dude. Get the fuck out of here. I thought I could get it in the third. Which means you get the pick again. Now you're wild carding me.

Starting point is 00:55:39 I don't know what's going on. My second pick. What's your second pick? As it is a serpentine draft. We should actually slow down a little bit. We're only an hour in and we're still on the first pick. We should slow it up a little bit. It's nine o'clock already.

Starting point is 00:55:54 How long do we get to be up here till? We're going to be here until 2, 3 a.m. Okay. Chappelle rules. Somebody just popped out a red bull into their mouth. I really don't like what's happening with our relationship right now, but I have to lean into the bit because we already got it. Yeah, no, we're doing it.

Starting point is 00:56:09 I really enjoy you as a person. I love you so much, but I'm going to keep doing this. Yeah, I love you. I'm really glad you're doing this. Like, I really think you're really funny. Don't fuck me. Don't fuck me, Katie Nolan. With my second pick.

Starting point is 00:56:21 Don't look me in the face and fuck me. Do not fuck me in the face. Quit your face fucking. It's really going. Quit your bummer cloth face fucking. I wish this was the first time I'd heard any of that. God, you're a gangster. It's not even the first time.

Starting point is 00:56:42 Do we want to turn the lights out while I do it? Should we turn the lights off? Well, I fuck you and I take part of your world. Oh, that's my second. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. That's not even my favorite song in that movie.

Starting point is 00:56:54 A perfect song. It's fine. Did you just yell no in a Hawaiian shirt? Pardon you, sir. It's a perfect song. Put thingamabobs in a song. I dare you. I dare you.

Starting point is 00:57:12 Because no big deal. I want more. I want to be where the people are Oh, I'm sorry. I fell asleep from that boring-ass song. Are you kidding me? A part of your world? How do you come out

Starting point is 00:57:34 and truly dominate the first round? What's that word again? What's that word again? Rude. Oh, feet. Rude. Rude. I think it was a terrible second pick.

Starting point is 00:57:47 I do. And I was shook of you. Your first pick was so good, I got shook. And then now I'm unshook. Bet you on land. I'm unshook. They'd understand. It's fine.

Starting point is 00:58:01 That they don't reprimand their daughters. Hell yeah. Bright young women, sick of swimming, ready to stand and ready to know what the people know. I get some answers. What's a fire and why does it, what's the word? Burn. When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore above?

Starting point is 00:58:37 That's so good sounding. No, she's a great singer. I'm not saying that. I'm part of that world. It's not for me. She does the sing-talk thing better than anyone. It's not for me. What's the word again?

Starting point is 00:58:59 Oh, feet. I like that part. It's a great pick. I've got who's's and what's's a plenty. That part? No, the feet part. You want thingamabobs? I got 20.

Starting point is 00:59:15 But who cares? Anyway, it's a good pick, and I don't give a fuck if you like it. This is my third weird alcohol cider. I'm having a great time. I am also having a very, very good time. I'm going to wait like 15 picks until I go again, and I'm super nervous. Yeah, it's so long.

Starting point is 00:59:36 You can run back to your apartment. It's fun to think you could sing it, fart of your world, too. Fart of that world. That is good. That's pretty funny, right? I really like that. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 00:59:52 What did I just do? I want to be a fart of your world. Fart sounds like fart. I don't want to, if you explain a joke, you ruin it. Oh, boy. Okay, it's time for my second pick. I don't know. I hope nobody's relying on me, because I'm going straight from this hole.

Starting point is 01:00:12 Michelle, mademoiselle! Oh, yeah! It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents your dinner.

Starting point is 01:00:31 Be our guest. Be our guest. Put our service to the test. Tie your napkin around your neck, Sherry, and we provide the rest. Shoot the door, hand on doors While we all live in this cell Try the grace of its delights

Starting point is 01:00:50 Don't believe me? Expedition! They can sing, they can dance After all this, this is France And the dinner here is never second there Go on, unfold your men You'll take a glance and then You'll be our guest, be our guest, be our guest

Starting point is 01:01:09 Be my good Jesus, babe I am full on flambé What do you guys want? I'll take one lump or two Nice, strong. I love that candle. That's another thing that Ian did at the hotel and they had no idea what we were doing.

Starting point is 01:01:26 I love Be Our Guest from fucking... Yeah. It's from... Don't help him. Don't help him. It's from the movie Man Without a Face starring Mel Gibson, my boy. My boy. What's he been up to for the last 20 years?

Starting point is 01:01:49 I haven't looked. Probably good stuff. Daddy's home again or whatever. Probably good stuff. Yeah, that's a great song. It's just fucking awesome. It's everything you want out of a Disney movie. What, a bunch of inanimate objects getting together and singing songs about their labor? About their indentured servitude.

Starting point is 01:02:07 Bernie Sanders. Well, was it even? It was just straight slavery, right? Yes, yes, yes. That teacup wasn't going to work his way to freedom. Chip? You mean Chip? Chip?

Starting point is 01:02:17 Talking about Chip? Any of them. Chip? Oh, Chip, yeah. Chip. Although he was defective. Chip. What?

Starting point is 01:02:25 What? Because he had a chip. Chip. What? What? Because he had a chip in it. What? What'd you say? I don't know. I missed it. It was at the top. He was fine.

Starting point is 01:02:31 Wait, what'd you say? Yeah, it was defective because he had a chip in the... It was in the drinking part opposite the handle. He's not wrong. How many chip teacups are in your pantry? You talk to me like that. One. With a huge cut of the drinking part.

Starting point is 01:02:50 David, I got to rub his back when he gets like this. David. Raise your hand if you have a pantry in Brooklyn. Cool. Fuck you, sir. Fuck you, sir. He raised his hand. We know which one of us would be in favor of eugenics if it ever gets there.

Starting point is 01:03:03 What a fun thing to learn. What a fun thing to learn. What a fun thing to learn during an episode of All Fantasy Everything. I'm sorry you're perfect, David. Chip happened to have a chip on his upper part which didn't even affect his ability to serve tea to people. Yeah, yeah. I'm in.

Starting point is 01:03:22 Also, he was a boy. He was a beautiful boy. I liked him. A lot of great boys are broken. I was one. I still deserve love. We just lashed out. Sean's scratching shit out. I just scratch off VR Ghost.

Starting point is 01:03:46 Yeah, no, that was a great pick. I don't know. Can I order a double tequila soda? Do you want one of these? When we think, when these things try the gray stuff, it's delicious.

Starting point is 01:03:55 What, pate? Probably pate. Yeah, probably pate. It's probably pate. We think it's pate. All right, it's good. You can have it. I have three.

Starting point is 01:04:02 No, those are yours. It's probably pate. I need you to get hammered so I can win. It's probably pate. I need you to get hammered so I can win. It's probably pate. That's so cute. How many picks overall? We just gave this to David.

Starting point is 01:04:08 It's pate. Five total picks. We're going to do five total picks. What if we did seven instead? We're going to do 15 picks each. I have nothing else to do. In the interest of it being 9-0-9, Sean, time for your second pick. Oh, it's me?

Starting point is 01:04:22 Yeah. Remember me? Oh, God. I'm going to be from Hercules or something. Oh. Oh, shit. me? Yeah. Remember me? Oh, God. I'm going to be from Hercules or something. Oh. Oh, shit. Okay. All right. Okay. Sorry, I wasn't... Do you not know how a serpentine

Starting point is 01:04:33 trap? I know. You would think. First of all, I'm not going to get mad at you, because every time Katie comes around, we fight. And I don't like that. Couple things. I don't know what somebody, what did you say?

Starting point is 01:04:48 What got the boo? Nothing. No, no, no, nothing. It's your pick. That's why they booed. They were like, what? It was preemptive.

Starting point is 01:04:57 North Dakota's great. We love you. It's South Dakota. Shout out to Bismarck. South Dakota. Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Sioux Falls. South Dakota. Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

Starting point is 01:05:06 Born and raised. Don't believe me? Ask the dishes. All right. Sean. Yeah, I know. Your first pick was Circle of Life. Whoa, the hat's off.

Starting point is 01:05:16 I put it on, but that means it's sweaty, right? It's only a little bit sweaty. Yeah, I'll leave it. It's really not that bad. I'll purchase it. I've been sweatier. It's a look. It's all right, right? It is a look. It's not that sweaty. It's a look. It's a look. It's all right, right? It is a look.

Starting point is 01:05:26 It's not that sweaty. It's a look. It's a look. You look like a Florida grandma. I'm a white girl in Brooklyn. That's why I got it. You know what I mean? Same thing.

Starting point is 01:05:35 Yeah, yeah. Rochelle Bash used to rock. I can feel the warmth. What? I can feel the warmth. I don't. I'm hot as well. I just don't have a hat on.

Starting point is 01:05:42 Sean, with your second pick. Cool, cool, cool. Cool to be judged. A whole new world. Don't you dare close your eyes. A dazzling place I never knew. No one to tell us no. Or where to go.

Starting point is 01:06:01 Or say we're only dreaming. A whole new world Don't you dare close your eyes That is the best. Don't you dare close your eyes. It's so creepy if you take it out of that movie. In that context, it's great. In any other context, it's like, huh? It's just like someone has a hostage,

Starting point is 01:06:22 like, don't you dare close your eyes. It's so... It's like one time my Uber... Don't you dare close your eyes. One time my Uber driver was like, huh? It's just like someone has a hostage. It's like, don't you dare close your eyes. It's like one time my Uber driver... Don't you dare close your eyes. One time my Uber driver was like, hey, if you're tired, you can take a nap. You're totally safe here. I was like...

Starting point is 01:06:34 So then I... And then Aladdin came in on a magic carpet. He goes, don't you dare close your eyes. He's like, oh my God, yes. He got out of the Uber. You would wake up in the only drive-thru basement in the country. Right.

Starting point is 01:06:43 You would wake up in the only drive-thru basement in the country. All right. Marissa and anybody with headphones in, the creepy voice is coming up. Three, two, one. Yeah, let's go. Don't you dare close your eyes. It makes me feel wet in places I don't like to feel wet. More creepy. More creepy.

Starting point is 01:07:06 More creepy. It doesn't... Tell me, tell me, princess, when did you last let your heart to sign? And then I come in, I'm like, Aladdin, yeah. Why are those... Aladdin, why are those pants so baggy? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:25 Big old dick. Creepy, creepiest it's ever gotten. Anyway. No, it's definitely gotten creepier than that before. I believe the name of the song is A Whole New World. Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, when did you last let your heart decide? A whole new world.

Starting point is 01:07:50 Don't you think? Listen to AFV. Yeah, they used to. See, the thing about that song that sucks, though, is nobody ever knows where we are in the song, like what the next line is. Because it sounds exactly the same, but it's all different. And that one will mess with you in karaoke. And then it's got that weird rap breakdown in the middle of it.

Starting point is 01:08:08 We're on carpets. Up in the sky, there's a tiger. Who is that guy? Me and Jasmine falling in love. Oh my gosh. I'm wearing fingerless gloves. Aladdin. What? Aladdin. Yeah. Aladdin who? Aladdin me.

Starting point is 01:08:26 I'm the guy who played that good boyfriend from Full House. I'm voicing the cartoon now. Please don't stop. It was 94. Street rap. Riff raff. Ha ha ha ha. I'm Steve.

Starting point is 01:08:42 Hey, David, check it out. I picked Lil Boosie one time. I'm Steve. Hey, David, check it out. I picked Lil Boosie one time. See, it's an audio medium, so I didn't know just how bad that was. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 01:08:53 I told you it was awful. I said it was awful. It's the step dab. It's so gross. Do it one more time. You look like the last thing a bird... It looks like the last thing a bird does before it dies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute.

Starting point is 01:09:06 Did you guys see? There's something on the... Never mind. Never mind. There wasn't anything on the table. You look... Wait, which one in Lion King? Which one's the meerkat?

Starting point is 01:09:15 Timon? Which... You look like Timon trying to see if he smells bad. It's not good. And by that, I mean it's great. You have to do that nine times before they give you the shirt. It's a tie-dyed shirt. Whoa!

Starting point is 01:09:33 Is it your pick? David! Your pick! Man, I was listening to that. When you had that song in the car today, I was listening to it with my eyes closed. Yeah! I felt so good.

Starting point is 01:09:44 Uh-oh, uh-oh. The second pick is fucked up because I was talking a lot of shit, but I really only cared about beating Katie on the first one. The rest,

Starting point is 01:09:53 I just want to listen to my heart. And the second one, this is my favorite song in a Disney movie. I know this. From a goofy movie, I'm picking Eye to Eye.

Starting point is 01:10:03 Oh, it's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. Wait, you picked Eye to Eye. You didn't pick the other one. I didn't pick the other one. I picked Eye to Eye.

Starting point is 01:10:11 Everybody heard that it was Eye to Eye, right? Not the other one. Yeah, I picked Eye to Eye. Okay. Oh, I got to look up all the lyrics because I don't want to blow it. But it starts like, I got myself a notion. We can fill. We can fill. We can fill till you look it up.

Starting point is 01:10:29 We'll fill till you look it up. The Goofy movie from the year... And one, I know that you'll understand to set the world in motion by reaching out for each other's hand. Maybe we'll discover what we should have known all along.

Starting point is 01:10:49 It's a microphone. Podcasting is one of your jobs. Together's where we both belong. If we listen to each other's eyes, then we'll never too far apart. And maybe

Starting point is 01:11:03 love is the reason why For the first time ever We're seeing it eye to eye Jesus. I'm different now. I love Tevin Campbell so much. Like, Kevin O'Brien's here. He can attest.

Starting point is 01:11:21 For years, Tevin Campbell, one of my favorite pop stars, he likes that track. I love it. I love that song so much. It makes me feel so good. When I was a little boy, I thought he said,

Starting point is 01:11:32 but making love is the reason why, so I thought it was dirty, and that was like hella cool because I would sing it around. I'd sing it in front of my mom and she wouldn't say anything, and I was like, yeah, that's right.

Starting point is 01:11:43 Grown. Grown, bitch. I'm just kidding. I've never called my mom a bitch wouldn't say anything? And I was like, yeah, that's right. Grown. Grown, bitch. I'm just kidding. I've never called my mom a bitch before. Thank God. That was the first time I've done it in jest and I don't feel good. I feel like she heard.

Starting point is 01:11:55 Like, I know she didn't, but I feel like she heard. Okay, and then this next one is, yeah, this is my second favorite Disney movie song from Oliver and Company. No! I thought I could take that last. By Billy Joel.

Starting point is 01:12:17 You've never seen Oliver and Company. Why should I worry? Why should I care? From the barren to St. Mark's I've got streets I walk fair Yeah, you bitch! I didn't mean it.

Starting point is 01:12:31 I'm so excited. I'm so hyped up. I'm so hyped up. I didn't mean it. It was such a good song. It's such a good song. I didn't think anybody would take that song

Starting point is 01:12:42 or remember that song. Yeah, nobody fucks with that movie like I wish they would. I was like, this is the deepest pull I can weigh for later rounds. That's my fault. Good pick, David.

Starting point is 01:12:49 Oliver and Company for sure sounds like a restaurant that's rethinking small plates. You know what I mean? Hey, welcome to Oliver and Company. How much in your party? Have you seen that when he sings it? Did you have the Disney sing-along songs VHS? It was blue. Oh, shit.

Starting point is 01:13:10 Yeah, of course I did. Oh, my. I had the tape. I had the tape. I had the tape. Yeah, me too. Where you had the book that you read along? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:13:18 Exactly. And it had the reading and it bounced on the... I never saw Oliver and Company, but still I love that movie. Oh, yeah. You don't have to. All you have to know is that Artful Dodger is the coolest animal ever. He's wearing sunglasses.

Starting point is 01:13:31 He's stealing sausages. That's what I do. He's a cool guy. He's a cool fucking guy. Billy Joel voiced a character in a Disney movie. That's insane to me. Yeah, it was like... Who was the cat?

Starting point is 01:13:47 What do you mean, Oliver? Joey Lawrence. Joey Lawrence was the cat. Because he was still a little kid. Whoa, whoa. I don't know. Is that... You guys don't like Joey Lawrence?

Starting point is 01:13:59 No, woe is what he says a lot. Oh, okay. They're like surprised. We've somehow lost the crowd and I think it was with the Billy Joel pic. Chill out. Just a little bit.

Starting point is 01:14:08 But just as a friendly reminder, shut the fuck up. Yeah, chill out. Man. We're trying to do a podcast up here. Do you want to do security for the rest of the tour?

Starting point is 01:14:18 Yeah, I got you. I got you. Honestly, we're not getting it done. What are those you got there? Oh my God. My girl. Aw, it's all our drinks.

Starting point is 01:14:27 Aw, thanks. Three random ones and your hard seltzer. I thought Dodger was like the coolest guy. I loved it. I love that song so much. That's a great pick. I'm back on your team now. I am aware that all of my company is a movie.

Starting point is 01:14:40 You called me a bitch when I left the stage. I heard it. I was excited. I was in the heat of competition. It's okay. I'm chill. Whatever. Katie's been playing mind games this whole time.

Starting point is 01:14:52 You guys don't know. You guys don't know what she's doing to me. The ladies get it. Am I getting this right? It's Sian. Sian. Right here. Sian Jordan.

Starting point is 01:15:01 Sian. Sian Jordan. Sian Gordon. South Dakota name. That's a hard pick. That's weird because you're from North Dakota. What's that? The pride of Bismarck, North Dakota.

Starting point is 01:15:11 I don't know why it's got to get all ugly on me now all of a sudden, huh? Is it time for my third pick? It's time for your third pick. Got to keep one jump ahead of the bread line. One jump. That's no joke. I steal only what I can afford. That's everything.

Starting point is 01:15:28 That right there is my, when I saw it when I was a kid, he's like, that's everything. I'm going to need a nom to prove. I did like it because he stole as a kid. I was like, Aladdin's tight. I can't buy that. Just a little snack, guys. Rip him open, take it snack, guys. Rip him open, J.J. Packers! You gotta steal to eat, you gotta eat to live.

Starting point is 01:15:51 You're my only friend, though. May I? May I? May I? Give me a moment. Still, I think he's right. I'm tasty. I was into her as a kid. She was hot, too. She was hot, right?

Starting point is 01:16:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like, this song's my one. I was like, what's up? Yeah, I was like, let's... Why are you leaving the harem, Aladdin? What's up? What's up? You want to come look at my science fair exhibit on tree frogs? Poison and odour frogs?

Starting point is 01:16:26 Their beautiful color is not an invitation. It's a warning. Yes, that is. I think it's called One Jump Ahead. One Step Ahead? I think it's called One Jump. One Jump Ahead of the Bad Guys. That was one of those, because that's on my list too. When you look it up, initially,

Starting point is 01:16:43 it shows you the one from the new soundtrack. I know it does. Yeah, that sucks. I don't want any of that. I want the old shit. Yeah, that's what I said. I was like, get the fuck out of here with that shit. I want like Peebo Bryson.

Starting point is 01:16:53 Yeah. Probably didn't do Aladdin, but did every other Disney movie. I kind of liked it. That song? Okay, that's fine. We know. The new Aladdin. Oh, I don't care for that.

Starting point is 01:17:03 You have a popular opinion. That song is so good. We have. The new Aladdin. Oh, I don't care for that. You have a popular opinion. That song is so good. We have a close working relationship with Disney, so I'm not really allowed to express my opinion. I literally work for Disney. I know. Mickey Mouse is my boss. I can do it.

Starting point is 01:17:19 Team Viacom. Hey, but. God, you are. Whenever I hear you on Comedy Central, I'm like, I know him! I do too. I can't... You guys know he's the voice for the commercials.

Starting point is 01:17:33 I'm like, David! I can't watch it anymore because it's too weird. 20 on the fat one. 20 on the fat one. Oh, man, thank you for writing that. Which one did you hate doing the most? I had to do my own special, and that was weird. That's disrespectful.

Starting point is 01:17:48 It was, like, really weird. They should have got Kyle Kinane to come back and do it. And they gave me notes. They were like, okay, but could you be like, David Borey? And I was like, listen, they were like, coming up next on Comedy Central, the seventh best. And you're like, what? Yeah. I have notes on the script.

Starting point is 01:18:05 I have notes. I got a couple notes. No, my half hour is really good. Watch it when it comes out. I have to say it's... When does it come out, David? What? When does it come out, David?

Starting point is 01:18:17 They haven't given me a date. Oh, that's fine. We'll all just watch Comedy Central until it comes out. No. They're like, we'll give you this job. When's my half hour coming out? I got this other job to worry about. That's a great pitch, Sean.

Starting point is 01:18:32 Can you come in and do these VOs? You're my only friend, Abu. Oh! Yeah, that's a great pick, though. I love that song. That song? Ain't a sad Aladdin's always at the bottom. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:18:44 He's become a one-man rising crime. I blame parents except he hasn't got them. That was about it. I made it like kind of a trap music, too. I think so. I blame his parents except he hasn't got them. I get it. A lot of Disney movies are like, oh, your parents die, and that's how you grow.

Starting point is 01:19:05 It's because if you can't show fucking, that's the most emotion. But I'd blame parents if he hasn't got them. It's like, whoo! Yeah, I know. Heavy shit. That's really mean. Would you have a look at this? It's time for Ian Carmel's pick again, isn't it, love?

Starting point is 01:19:22 What's happening? Let's get butchers at your pick, love. it, love? What's happening? Let's get butchers at your picks, love. Oh, he's got the lyrics up. Here we go. I just want to nail it. You're nailing it. Yell it, yell it. Little town, it's a quiet village.

Starting point is 01:19:37 I don't know. Every day like the one before. Little town full of little people Waking up to say Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! There goes the baker with his tray like always

Starting point is 01:20:01 The same old bread and rolls to sell Every morning just the same, since the morning that we came to this poor provincial town. Good morning, Bill! Good morning, Master Jean. Have you lost something again? Well, I believe I have. Problem is,

Starting point is 01:20:17 I can't remember what! Oh, well, I'm sure it'll come to me. Look, there she goes, that girl is strange, no question. Safe and distracted, can't you tell? Never part of any crowd. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da.

Starting point is 01:20:34 Good point. There goes the banker with his tray like all. I just love it. It's such a good song. It's such a good song. It's such a good fucking song. She's just like, what should I do today? Sing a fucking ballad as we walk through the city?

Starting point is 01:20:53 I honestly didn't think anybody would take that tip. I might do that when we wake up in New York tomorrow. You know what I mean? Hell yeah. There goes that crackhead peeing on my rental. And that hot dog guy who hates me. Because I ate six hot dogs and forgot I forgot my wallet up in my hotel room. I'm sorry, bro.

Starting point is 01:21:15 I forgot I forgot my wallet. Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour. And that's the French school where the rich kids send their children who they don't want to see. So they get walked up and down through this provincial town by a bunch of NYU grad students. Good morning! Remy?

Starting point is 01:21:36 Remy? There goes Sean Jordan with his tie-dye t-shirt. And David Boyd with his sweat towel. Best thing we ever put on the rider. Yeah. You gotta put sweat towels on the rider if you're a hefty boy. Okay. Can you know it's time for your third and fourth picks as it is?

Starting point is 01:22:02 As it is. As it is. Okay. it is. As it is. As it is. Okay. Sure is. So I feel like with my third pick, I'll take the less popular one that I love. And then with my fourth, I'll get the crowd back. That's a good move. That's a good move.

Starting point is 01:22:15 That's how it works. That's a good move. With my second pick, third pick. No, I want to go back. I'd like to amend my second pick. With my third pick, I'm going to take A Tale'd like to amend my saying. With my third pick, I'm going to take A Tale As Old As Time. Oh!

Starting point is 01:22:28 Oh! A song as old as rhyme. Man. Beauty and the Beast. Of all the... I did not think we were going to hit this movie this hard in this draft. Of course we were.

Starting point is 01:22:44 It's full of bangers. It's so good. It was my favorite. Oh, and what we didn't say about Belle, the reason why that song is such a good song is because they all are like, she's beautiful, but she's really weird because she likes books.

Starting point is 01:23:00 Which I just want every man sitting on the stage to know that's what was drilled into our heads as kids. Was like, be hot, don't read. That's what I do. I used to go to Barnes & Noble and be like, you don't belong here! Get out of here! Give me the face again.

Starting point is 01:23:22 Say you don't belong here, please. You take your ass down in a makeup store and buy you some makeup. You leave the books to me and my kind. It's so convincing, it's terrifying. You got a Sephora, right? There's your little missy. I'll read the telltale heart. The sparkly hat makes me not believe it.

Starting point is 01:23:48 Yeah, that sparkly hat's selling you out. Only one of us is about to read Sid Hart by Herman Hesse. And it ain't you, sweetheart. Beaverton, Oregon.

Starting point is 01:24:04 It was crazy. It was good. So yeah, I'm takingaverton, Oregon. It was crazy. So, yeah, I'm taking Beauty and the Beast. Yes! Yeah, yeah, of course. Because what a jam. Speaking of all the remakes, what did you think of the new Beauty and the Beast? Well, so I think it's weird

Starting point is 01:24:18 when you take something that's a cartoon where it's like, oh, yeah, this makes sense because I'm seven. Right. Or two, whenever year that came out. I'm young and cute. And then you make it real and you're like, oh, this woman's going to have

Starting point is 01:24:32 sex with a beast who is abusive. And the only way she can escape is captivity as if she kisses him and is nice. And it's like, that doesn't feel it feels a lot weirder. That's why none of my picks

Starting point is 01:24:45 are from that movie. It's a strange choice. I have two picks from that movie. It's just a good movie. It's a great film. And Angela Lansbury sings it in the movie. Okay, but did you know, fun fact, she did not want to sing that song. She didn't feel good. She did it in

Starting point is 01:25:01 one take and they used that take. Really? What a fucking god. As I said it confidently, I was like, I read it in one take, and they used that take. Really? What a fucking god. As I said it confidently, I was like, I read it on the internet. I'm not actually sure. But I'm pretty sure that's what happened. But you know how some movies, some of the songs in Disney movies, they do the version in the film, and then they do the like, and here's a famous person to come sing it.

Starting point is 01:25:19 And that's why we're going to say, shout out Peebo Bryson, who does this in most of the movies. Yeah. And also is in a Nicki Minaj lyric. You tambien? Two years ago, I renewed my license. So anyway, that is Celine Dion. What?

Starting point is 01:25:35 Celine? And Peebo Bryson. And they swap harmonies in that song a bunch. So she'll go low and he'll go high. That is powerful. And then there's like a key. I think there might be two key changes. It is a, that is a,

Starting point is 01:25:48 I was going to play the part that matters to me, but I feel like we would just cut that out, right? Ever as before. You're reading the lyrics. Ever just as sure that the sun will rise. It's close. It's close. This is the reason that this song is being picked by me.

Starting point is 01:26:06 You can cut this out, Super Producer. It is sweet and strange. Finding you can change. Learning you were wrong. God damn. Damn, that was tight. Yeah. Amazing pick.

Starting point is 01:26:27 I might have to cry to that later. God damn. Amazing pick. I almost had to swap harmonies with David while that was happening. That song is so good. Do I get another one now? Oh, yeah. All right.

Starting point is 01:26:37 So with my next one. Oh, man. I'm really between two. I still get one more after this? Yeah, yeah. One more after this. Okay, okay. Five.

Starting point is 01:26:44 I'm gonna be a mighty king. So enemies beware. Well, I've never seen a king of beasts with quite so little hair. Fuck off, Zazie. I'm gonna be the main event like no king was before. I'm crushing up on looking down. I'm working on my roar. If this is where the monarchy is headed, count me out!

Starting point is 01:27:08 Oh I just can't wait to be king! No one's saying do this! No one's saying do this! No one's saying be there! No one's saying stop that! No one's saying see here! We gon' run around all day We gon' do it all our way Did you just say we don't do it all our way?

Starting point is 01:27:37 We're gonna do it all our way. Or my way. My way? I thought it was free to do it. Either way, that song rules. Zaz is a mark. Why? Because he snitches?

Starting point is 01:27:49 He's trying to keep people safe. It's just a graveyard of trulies down here. We don't know what Zazu's personal politics are. He's in a job that he has to take. You know what I mean? How many jobs are there for shoebills anyway? He's got to feed the Mrs. Zazu. This guy is perpetually offended.

Starting point is 01:28:05 What do you think I think a shoebill is? In that shirt. Stand up and show the crowd your shirt. If you're going to say ooh, everything, stand up. What do you think I think I'm saying a shoebill is? Look at that shirt. He's offended. You look fantastic. I love you so much. The problem is the shirt only helps his case.

Starting point is 01:28:21 He looks amazing. This is a wild one. I like you. Yeah, it's crazy. He looks amazing. You're right. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a wild one. I like it. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. I bet you do, Panama Red. I don't know what that means. I got two drinks here.

Starting point is 01:28:34 One for each of you. Both for me. Shout out to Felicia who gave us the drinks. My girl. Hi, Felicia. Do you get it? I'm hip. Oh, like it's a flip on the...

Starting point is 01:28:43 Yeah, yeah. On the meme and the conventional thing we've all come to know. By Felicia. Which is by Felicia. Yes. And you said instead of that, hello, Felicia. Hello, Felicia. Wonderful.

Starting point is 01:28:55 That wasn't even my favorite part of Friday. Everywhere you look, I'm standing spotlight. Not yet! Not even! Not yet. Not ever. Not yet. Noi. Not noi. Not ever.

Starting point is 01:29:15 Never. Never. Wait, wait, wait, wait. One day. One day. One day, all right? Noi. One day, but not noi.

Starting point is 01:29:24 One day, but not noi. One day. One day. One day, all right? One day, but not now. One day, but not now. One day, but not now. Eva, yes! David's over here looking at my picture. We do this, and then you, I can't believe anyone bought tickets to this. Everybody in this room is amazing. We really do love you so much. Seriously.

Starting point is 01:29:49 Sorry to step on John's toes, but... Oh, please. Kiss who? I'll kiss all these people. What are you talking about? I'll kiss them. I'll kiss you. I'll kiss...

Starting point is 01:29:59 We kissed last night. Yeah, we did, dog. We all did. Okay. Okay. Peck on the mouth. We all did. Okay. Okay. Peck on the mouth. Peck on the mouth. Peck on the mouth.

Starting point is 01:30:27 Peace be with you. Not yet! Nice to meet you. Katie, how you doing? I love you, but you came in open mouth. Woo! You know what else I'd kiss? That's why you're the head writer.

Starting point is 01:30:41 I'll tell you what I'd kiss is a Jameson on the rocks, please, if that could happen from the bar. I got some Henny. I would kiss one of those. I feel so sad that it's an audio medium. You know what I'd compare that to when I saw Ian and David kiss? That was wild. I would compare that to a...

Starting point is 01:30:55 I loved it. Baby! Kiss from a rose on the grave. Ooh, the more I get it, the stranger it feels. Now go Irish. Yeah. But your rose is in bloom.

Starting point is 01:31:13 The light hits the moon on the grave. Before it got all sexual up here, we were doing something, I think. Just can't wait to be king. I've kissed a dude like three times in the last 12 hours. I haven't kissed a woman for three weeks. It's all right. So I got to go where the odds are. Listen, listen, listen. What's happening?

Starting point is 01:31:43 Oh. Whoa! You guys are wild. Sean is accepting flowers? Flowers? A succulent? What's happening? Look at this snoopy little guy. I love it. This snoopy little guy likes to guy. This snoopy little guy likes to kiss.

Starting point is 01:32:09 So at some point I must have said that I've never gotten flowers before because I haven't actually. But thank you so much, man. That was very nice of you. What a first set of flowers. Oh, shit. Look at that. My God. This is wild

Starting point is 01:32:25 Doug We have the best fans in the world It's my turn Okay go ahead And I want to make my pick But I have to go to the bathroom so bad Go pee We'll fill

Starting point is 01:32:38 So I have to call in a ringer I have to call in a ringer Yeah Not in the studio I have to call in a ringer. I have to call in a ringer. Yeah! Not in the studio, not on the microphone, but in the building. Loyal listeners of All Fantasy Everything will know.

Starting point is 01:32:57 Give it up for Nick Manpay. Make some noise! There he comes. Bring him out, bring him out. There he goes. Bring him out, bring him out. There he goes. Bring him out, bring him out. Get up here, buddy. Keep it going, keep it going.

Starting point is 01:33:12 Nick Seda. I'm literally going to go pee, and you have to make my pick. Nicky, how you doing, buddy? I'm doing well. Ned P. In studio on mic. Did you get a haircut recently? I did about three days ago.

Starting point is 01:33:34 No, but you stay pretty cut. You're on point. Like every time I see you, you're pretty cut up. Pretty much every time I go to see David. I'm saying I want to feel your abs, Nampay. Yeah, do you have abs? Can we feel them? I do not have abs. You can feel them if you want, though.. Yeah, do you have abs? Can we feel them? I do not have abs. You can feel them if you want, though.

Starting point is 01:33:46 Thank you. Can somebody just tell me what they feel like? Look, before the night's over, we'll have an ab come up. You know what an ab feels like. Yeah, I don't. Just tell me. It's not worth it. We're friends.

Starting point is 01:33:57 I'll tell you. What they feel like is like, oh, this is not worth it. Really? Yeah, it's like, oh, you're going to say some shit that's dumb. It's like, this is cool, but please say some shit that's dumb. It's like, this is cool, but please don't talk. I get that. So with, I believe it's the fourth

Starting point is 01:34:12 pick. Just a personal opinion. I'm sure there's somebody who has abs and is smart. I just haven't met him yet. Go ahead. I'm so sorry. You have the stage, honey. Oh, sorry. I supported people who don't have abs. Shut up. She's workout shaming. And you wonder why you're a friend of the pod.

Starting point is 01:34:30 Because we don't have... I love a big dog t-shirt. Let's get it. Let's get it, Nick. Well, first thing I want to try is, can I get a Trulia up here? So we have about seven, but we'll get you another.

Starting point is 01:34:42 Yeah, yeah. That is a fun move. That is a fun move. That is a fun move. There's also one here that he hasn't touched. And while that's happening, again, another hint for everybody working at the Bell House. We're already three minutes over. I told them about an hour 40, and we're already three minutes over that. Seriously, they've been amazing.

Starting point is 01:34:58 Everybody's working. Yeah, tip them fat. We're not selling merch or anything, but if you guys tip fat. This is good, because Ian was definitely going to take a shit. So we've been doing the four minutes of bits. You want to make a pick? Which bums me out. Oh!

Starting point is 01:35:12 Wow. Asking you shall receive. All right. We have too many of these things. All right. Am I an asshole? It's the fourth pick, right? Ian's fourth pick?

Starting point is 01:35:20 Yes. When I walked into the green room, I said I had a pick, and... Oh, see that flex? Well... Don't fuck me, Nick! Didn't you just fuck me? Because the Goofy movie was the one I wanted first. There's still a song available.

Starting point is 01:35:33 There's still a song. My second pick, because I didn't get that one. Yo, dude. You already know. Yo, you piece of shit. I'm going to need you guys to sing with me because I don't really sing. They might not know it. I'm going to jump in right in sing with me because I don't really sing. They might not know it.

Starting point is 01:35:46 I'm going to jump in right in the middle. It's from Moana. I'm taking the shirt off. Put your shirt back on, bro. Every turn I take, every trail I track, every path I make, every road leads back to the place I know where I cannot go, road leads back to the place I know where I cannot go. Where I long

Starting point is 01:36:08 to be. See the line where the sky... Do you guys not know this song? They don't. They don't. It feels like they don't. Felicia, do you know this song? Who knows it? How far it goes.

Starting point is 01:36:27 Somebody sing it. Do you guys really not know how far it goes? Wow. That's not a good look for your pick. You called in a ringer and he struck out. Wow. Literally not one person wanted to be on the podcast

Starting point is 01:36:43 singing the song he picked. You know. She appreciates it. the podcast singing the song he picked. You know. I appreciate it. She appreciates it. That's not the song that I was... That means it's woke, but it's not a good song. I think it's a top five song. That's not the song I thought you were going to pick.

Starting point is 01:36:58 What song did you... You thought I was going to pick the crab song. Come on. Dog. The crab song? Don't mention other songs. There's still pics left in the tramp. You double fucked me.

Starting point is 01:37:09 You can't double fuck me. I'm disappointed in all of you. You fucked me in all my holes. Oh, my God. Hey, Vid. I only have two. I guessed four. Same.

Starting point is 01:37:21 Your ears? I count pits and tits. Your crowd really let me down. I don't think they heard it, but I liked it. I'll explore your bodies. You should have fucking enjoyed that pic more, and I'm disappointed in all of you. That's Nicholas Nampain on the studio, not on the microphone.

Starting point is 01:37:51 Nick Nampay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. He karaoke'd that one song one time. And he doesn't do karaoke. Give it up for Nick Nampay, everybody. Give it up for Nick Nampay, everybody! Thank you, boys! Good boy! This episode is crazy. We're wild, dude!

Starting point is 01:38:12 I take full responsibility. Nick, out of the mic, dude! Nick, out of the mic! That's fucking crazy. Nick's like the shadow fourth member of AFE. For sure. We get into all sorts of fucking hood rat shit together. It's fun.

Starting point is 01:38:23 We have a great time. And by hood rat shit, I mean the Supreme Court. What was the name of that song? Moana. I'm just going to write Moana. I haven't seen it. Sean! Make your fourth pick and go ahead and do it. Yeah, we seen it. Sean! Make your fourth pick and, you know, go ahead and do it.

Starting point is 01:38:47 Yeah, we got it. Hakuna Matata. What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna Matata. Ain't no passive phrase. It means no worries. For the rest of your days. Sing it, kids.

Starting point is 01:39:06 It's a prom-o-free philosophy. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. And then when he goes, When I was a young one, I cleared the savannah after every meal.

Starting point is 01:39:28 When he was a young word. Oh, I passed my aroma. I can send the peel. I can clear the savannah after every meal. I'm a sentence in full. Though I seem thick skin. And oh, the shame What a change of my name

Starting point is 01:39:49 And I got down hot in Every time that I Pumbaa If you have notes, sit down and shut up. He was crushing that. That was so dope, dude. You are so good at this. Pumbaa!

Starting point is 01:40:10 There he is. Not in front of the kids. You're so good at that. I kind of feel like a Timon in a Pumbaa's body and that's my burden. Yes! Speak your truth, King. That's my burn.

Starting point is 01:40:28 Means no worries. That's one where whoever's singing JTD's parts really fucking bounces on the handlebars. Means no worries. Well, you know what bounces on the handlebars is Broderick later in it when he goes, or whoever's singing that for Broderick, where it's like Hakuna Matata. No, noderick where it's like, Hakuna Matata.

Starting point is 01:40:46 No, no, no. Hakuna Matata. Broderick is old Simba, Doc. Broderick is old Simba. I thought it transitioned, right? In that song. Do they both sing it? Yeah, I think so. Even more reason to pick it.

Starting point is 01:41:01 What a sacred track where both Matthew Broderick and Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Older Simba. It probably is Matthew Broderick because he's so talented. But he does that. Hakuna Matata. And it's so fun. Hakuna Matata.

Starting point is 01:41:17 Hakuna Matata. Wait, what? What does he do? Hakuna Matata. Order Taco Bell on that voice. Huh? Order Taco Bell on that voice. Huh? Order Taco Bell on that voice. A bean burrito. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:41:30 Hello. I'd like a bean burrito with no onions and a double decker with extra cheese. I'm going to hand you a $50 bill. Keep giving me food until it stops hurting. You know what else I'd like with it? The sauce that is lava. I know.

Starting point is 01:41:54 The sauce that is lava. Boy, I'll tell you real quick. I can't imagine having more fun. This is absolutely amazing. It is great. As wild as it's getting, to me, this is stupid how dope this is. And I can't imagine dragons.

Starting point is 01:42:24 Close your eyes and try it. You motherfucker. Come on, you got it. So that was my fourth pick. No? God, I'm stressed out about my next pick. David Borey. Don't be.

Starting point is 01:42:39 I'm kind of going to blow it. David Borey, it's time for your fourth, and then also your final picks, as it is, the Serpentine Draft. That went so much later than I thought it was going to go. I thought you guys would pick that in the first round. Well, because we went heavy Beauty and the Beast. Also, you guys picked all my late picks.

Starting point is 01:42:57 You're out here like, Michael Floyd in the first round. I picked from my heart. We did that part. I'm that kind of person. Is he done? Did he retire? I used to pick Michael Floyd way earlier than I did. We did that part. Did he retire? I used to pick Michael Floyd way earlier than him.

Starting point is 01:43:08 I get that. I get the joke. It was just like, oh, in an auction draft, I was like, $2, Michael Floyd. Oh. Then I never started him. He's tall. Jaquiz Rogers, $1. He's tall and wide.

Starting point is 01:43:24 Oh. My fourth pick. One dollar. Oh, he's tall and wide? My fourth pick. I started this podcast because I was so bad at fantasy drafting sports. Awful. Every time I'm like, I got it this year, I never got it. Oh, yeah. Dude, I had one year where I had four football teams. Doug.

Starting point is 01:43:46 This year I reached for a running back in an auction draft, which I never do. I'm like, idiot, just spend a bunch of money on a running back. And guess who it was? It was Le'Veon Bell. Oh! You work at ESPN! I'm in one of those leagues that wants to draft in like August. We didn't know. We didn't know! You don't know what's gonna happen.

Starting point is 01:44:03 Oh, 60 bucks on him, my team's going to be fine. It's a $200 budget, Ian. I didn't set the budget, but I would. Ian. I would put it there. Can I pick my fourth pick that nobody's going to like? Yeah, sorry. Go ahead. They're not going to like it, so I just want to get

Starting point is 01:44:20 it out. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I have a lot of feelings about Venus. This is my fourth pick, and I don't care what you guys think, because I love it. I love it. I support you. Prince Ali! Fabulous! He is Ali Abab. Alicia loves it!

Starting point is 01:44:36 Genuflect! Show some respect! Down on one knee! Now try your best to stay calm. Rush out your sadness aloud It's lots and lots of words, lots and lots more words, right? Prince Ali, Bambi, Leslie, all your barbed wire Strongest and regular men, definitely

Starting point is 01:44:57 You guys at home, I don't know if you fully know, he had so good, his eyes closed. I'll be a 54 below doing that for just five people. For just five people later. But yeah, I love that song. I love it's a song about fronting. Because sometimes I'm on the train and I'm like, nobody knows I have three dollars.

Starting point is 01:45:25 I look handsome. Oh yeah. And I'm on the train, and I'm like, nobody knows I have $3. I look handsome. Oh, yeah. And I respect it. I think it's great. I'm wearing my one clean outfit. My underwear's inside out, but you don't know that. Yeah. That's how I felt when I got this.

Starting point is 01:45:37 That's how you wear it a second day. I got this tie-dyed shirt, and I felt that way. You look cool. I don't want you to feel bad about it. Out of this whole outfit, I own my undershirt, the hat, and one of the socks. What's up? Oh, what's up?

Starting point is 01:45:48 I bought my shoes for this tour. Yeah, so that's my fourth pick. And then my fifth pick, yo, my fifth pick, I literally only know like six words to. Google it. Google it. But I love it so much. Even as a kid. So I'm picking from

Starting point is 01:46:05 the Aristocats oh yeah everybody everybody wants to be I love that shit I'm doing and there was all the cats, like, the fat cat was playing the bass. Oh, man. That shit fucking, that's a slapper. A slapper, for sure. Everybody wants to be a cat. That's a really good pick in Gowanus. People are getting, it's getting wild out there.

Starting point is 01:46:43 It's like a musically Interesting song Like Gowanus is like Love that song I cover that with my band That's so dope Yeah Love that It's like jazz

Starting point is 01:46:50 Like really good You said Aristocats I'm like this could get Problematic very fast But I'm very glad You picked this song Is there a problematic song? It's me and the clarinet player

Starting point is 01:46:58 From TV on the radio Wait what's the Hold on What's the problematic song? It may be There is a problematic song If it's not called We are Siamese

Starting point is 01:47:04 You know exactly what I mean When I say Yo I never even thought About that What's the problematic song? There is a problematic song. If it's not called We Are Siamese, you know exactly what I mean. Oh! Yo, I never even thought about that. I haven't seen that movie in so long. That song is mad racist. Yeah! Like, they were just like... You took a song from Oliver and Company, dude,

Starting point is 01:47:23 and Oliver and Company has that song where it's like, Polish people shouldn't vote. Ask me if that's the first song you sang about Polish people today. Raise your hand if you agree. Polish people shouldn't vote. We're lucky we let them walk free. They're so stupid. They're so violent.

Starting point is 01:47:46 We should put them in a cage. Polish people every day fight a one-man war with their rage. Oh, Polish. Oh, the Polish. I'm a Polish. I have it in my iTunes. I'm a Polish heritage. That's why I can make that joke.

Starting point is 01:48:02 It's good. Ian, you're doing car bits outside of the car. Oh, sorry. That was a car bit. That was a car bit? That was a car bit. No, the car bit was doing Frank Sinatra. Car bit karaoke.

Starting point is 01:48:13 Go ahead. And the point is, everybody wants to be a cat. It's like all those cats, they seem like they smoke weed. They seem like they were fucking, right? Like everybody in Aristocats, there were no virgins in Aristocats bunch of virgins in the Lion King, no virgins in Aristocats, those cats

Starting point is 01:48:32 were fucking Abraham DeLacy, Gio Seppicace, Thomas O'Malley the alley cat, he was fucking yeah everybody wants to be a cat. That's my last pick. Hell yeah.

Starting point is 01:48:47 Thank you. Sean Jordan, it's time for your final pick. He's holding back, he's hiding. But what I can't decide. Good one. Why can't he be the king I serve in him? The king I see inside. Hell yeah. Now can you see the fucking goosebumps on my arm?

Starting point is 01:49:14 Tonight. Tonight. The peace that he brings. The world for once In perfect harmony With all its living things That was close. Yeah, that was too short on it.

Starting point is 01:49:36 That was pretty close. Kings and vagabonds That was round one. Round one you guys said do the king and vagabonds one. That's such a different part. Theonds one. That's my favorite part. The same song. That's an Elton John ass line.

Starting point is 01:49:49 It all runs together for me. Nobody else can sing Vagabonds except Elton John. But what's the other one? For real, right? I like Vagabonds. Try to do Vagabonds in any other singer's voice. But what's the other one he says is good too? In Kings and Vagabonds. What's the other one? Not 352. Hold on. The other one is good too. He any other singer's voice. But what's the other one he says is good, too? In Kings and Vagabonds!

Starting point is 01:50:05 What's the other one? Not the 50-2s. Hold on. The other one is good, too. Like, he says, it's enough for this wild eye. Wild wonder. That part's grueling, too. Ian.

Starting point is 01:50:16 Wait, try it as other people. Give me, like, a Cyndi Lauper doing Kings and Vagabonds. Kings and Vagabonds. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Give me a Michael McDonald. You gave Lauper face. Michael McDonald, Kings and Vagabonds. Kings and Vagabonds. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Give me a Michael McDonald. You gave Wopper face. Michael McDonald, Kings and Vagabonds.

Starting point is 01:50:29 Kings and Vagabonds. That's close. That's close. That one's closer. Bobby Brown. Bobby Brown. Yeah, Bobby Brown. I'm just going to have to do my normal singing voice.

Starting point is 01:50:41 You got it. You got it. You got it. Kings and Vagab voice. You got it. You got it. Kings and vagabonds. Britney Spears. How about kings and vagabonds? David, let me hear it like DMX. Kings and vagabonds.

Starting point is 01:51:10 Oh my God, I love this fucking podcast so much. You fucking win. Jasmine, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Belle. About three, Ariel's. You know what I was thinking about in the shower the other day, just because I know nobody's going to pick it. It was the other day. It was like seven months ago, but you guys don't fucking know.

Starting point is 01:51:33 I was thinking about DMX being like, I'm late for a very important date. That was my last pick. I laughed and laughed and laughed. 31, Texas. It's April the 15th. All right.

Starting point is 01:51:49 Yeah, that was... That was my... Yeah, that was a great last pick. Thank you. What the fuck was it? Can you feel the love tonight? There we go. King Sam.

Starting point is 01:51:58 Yeah, it is. Time for my final pick. We're not really doing seven. We're not doing seven. I'm sorry I said it. I'm sorry I said it. On account of people working here. I can't believe you guys have been here for two hours.

Starting point is 01:52:11 Okay, okay, okay. I'm so sorry I said it. My final pick is two parts. Also one of my favorite songs, but also a tribute to one of the fucking greats. Oh, shit. Somebody we miss every day. David Borey.

Starting point is 01:52:26 We don't miss David Borey every day. I mean, I do, but he's alive. For now. Wallybarber had them 40 feet. I would have said the same joke. He's got a thousand tails. I'm asking you in love, because up your sleeves

Starting point is 01:52:39 you've got a brand of magic never fails. You've got some power in your corner now. You've got some head mission in your now. Got some English in your can. You got some punch, Mrs. Sands. Yahoo and how. All you gotta do is run that land. I'll say, Mr. Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be? Take your old-al, job-dead down.

Starting point is 01:52:59 You ain't never had a friend like me. Surely they will bury you a legend. I can't believe that we're at work. I need... I need to go back to Portland. That was an amazing pick. Seriously. Try some of column A. Try all of column B.

Starting point is 01:53:32 That was where I heard baklava for the first time. Yeah, I thought it was a made up word. I had no idea what baklava was. I thought it was like money, like gold or something. That is an amazing point that I've never thought of. When I first heard it, I probably thought that too. I don't know what that is. As a white.

Starting point is 01:53:50 People aren't eating baklava like that. Not where I'm from. Sean and I mostly eat baklava. Yeah, it's a baklava. Are you guys eating baklava without me? Yeah. I hate to be a dick, but it really hurts my feelings when I hear that you guys do shit without me. I don't think you do hate to be a dick, but it really hurts my feelings

Starting point is 01:54:06 when I hear that you guys do shit without me. I don't think you do hate to be a dick because you've been doing it all day. Don't do that. Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me. He's lying about the car. This fucking dickhead.

Starting point is 01:54:15 That's a lie. Hey, hey. Katie's my only enemy. I'm right here. Look at me. I thought we fixed that. I was about to come to your defense. The entire animated sequence that surrounds Never Had a Friend Like Me is enchanting,

Starting point is 01:54:30 wonderful, showcases the best of Robin Williams and the best of Disney's animation team at that time. I really think so. It's a great point. Great point. They ran wild with it. And at the end of it, you know what I mean? It's like the applause sign, and he's like...

Starting point is 01:54:46 And I think we can all relate to that. That's like when we end this podcast, it's going to be like applause sign. All right, later. But instead of like, we're going to be like... We're all hammered. But like, you know. I actually didn't do too bad on the drinks today.

Starting point is 01:55:02 Yeah, you did. And we're not done yet. How much is in both of those? Okay. How many stars are in the sky? Candy Nolan! How many pots have you smoked in your life? Which one of your kids do you love the most?

Starting point is 01:55:12 It's a crazy question. Nolan. I really hate being the last pick. The last pick. She loves it. I hate it. She loves it. Thank you so much.

Starting point is 01:55:24 First of all, I just want to say, I fucking love this podcast. You are the best. This podcast loves you. This is how I blow every date. At the end, I'm like, I really like you. And they're like, cool, I'm out. Anyway, but I really didn't want to end this on a slow

Starting point is 01:55:46 one because you want to end on a big note. But if this song doesn't get picked in this draft, no, we're not going to pick Let It Go. We're in our 30s. Yeah, that song. Hot take, Frozen sucks. Frozen sucks. I've seen it 30 sucks. Frozen sucks.

Starting point is 01:56:07 I've never seen it. I've seen it 30 times. It sucks. I've never seen it. Yeah, I've never seen it, and it would have felt disingenuous to me. It's probably a great song. I love Idina Menzel,

Starting point is 01:56:15 but it would have felt disingenuous to me to pick a song out of a movie I never saw. That's why I'm glad I saw Mulan six days ago. Shout out to Ashley. No, so I do hate to do this, but if this song didn't get picked in this draft, I would have felt really bad for it, so I do hate to do this, but if this song didn't get picked in this draft, I would have felt

Starting point is 01:56:26 really bad for it. So it isn't like a banger, but it is a ballad. Give it to me. You think the only people who are people Yeah. Hell yeah.

Starting point is 01:56:38 Hell yeah. People who look and think like you She's so right. But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger. Give me the chorus. You'll learn things you never knew you never knew. Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue-horned moon?

Starting point is 01:57:01 Or ask the green-eyed that why he grinned. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? That was a great... Such a song. That was a great button to put on it. Vanessa Williams crushing it still.

Starting point is 01:57:29 Seriously amazing song. She's still my Miss America. What? She still looks the same age she looked then, now, Vanessa Williams. Yo, Vanessa Williams is the best. Also, there's the lyric that the Huron and the otter are her friends. And girl, I relate. Animals are the only people that I'm friends with. I love a fish. And girl, I relate. Animals are the only people

Starting point is 01:57:45 that I'm friends with. I love a fish. I love a small creature. People are difficult. I thought you loved a thin gay man. I'm friends with this otter and also this turtle. That's the lyric. Something like that. Something like that. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:58:01 A little ditty. Me and this otter renting a two-bedroom apartment. But also shout out to the, what is it, the bridge? How high does the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, then you'll never know. Fuck yeah. It's a great song. It's maybe not the most uplifting song, but man.

Starting point is 01:58:30 I think Pocahontas was the first movie I ever saw in theaters. That was an amazing movie. Really? I'm that young, I know. Second was The Sandlot. Also, shout out to the Pocahontas Happy Meal toys. They held me down in a weird situation when I was a kid and didn't have any toys. That raccoon was a chubby little gentleman.

Starting point is 01:58:50 Oh, talk about a little devil who loved to kiss. That raccoon loved to kiss. He's a sneaky little motherfucker. Who played that raccoon? Was that Bradley Cooper? It was Jeff Goldblum. It was Paul Rudd's first major role. David, you

Starting point is 01:59:07 went first. Yes. You took Under the Sea, Eye to Eye. That's early, bro. Why should I worry? Prince Ali. And everybody wants to be a cat.

Starting point is 01:59:27 Not bad. I think I held it down for myself. I think I was true to my heart. Not bad, David. I appreciate it. Not bad. Are you vibing this right now? No, I'm just filming it for me.

Starting point is 01:59:40 Sean Patrick Jordan, you took Circle of Life with your first pick. Sean, you won, by the way. He did. He really did win. That's the fuck. He really did win. You won, and I'm not, I don't remember what your fifth pick was.

Starting point is 01:59:56 With your second pick, you took Whole New World. With your third pick, you took one jump. No, no, no, no, no with that. No with that, Dad. Now you have it on camera. Show the world, Katie. So bad. Tell the world my story.

Starting point is 02:00:13 One jump ahead of Katie Nolan. With your fourth pick, you took Hakuna Matata. What a wonderful phrase. And with your final pick, you took... Can you feel the love tonight? Tonight. A piece to eat. That was...

Starting point is 02:00:35 You did win. You nailed it. King, friend, vagabond. It's the time, playboy. Like, there was no, like... Tell him my picks, King. Everything was... I went third

Starting point is 02:00:45 and I took Be Like You from the Jungle Book. Oh yeah? Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast. Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Great pick. Which of you? The Ghost of Breaker with his bread like always.

Starting point is 02:01:03 That song? And then Nick Nampick picked a song from Momoa? Moana? Moana? That wasn't a song I would have picked. It's not Jason, it's Moana? I believe it's called Momoa. Momoa?

Starting point is 02:01:17 Momoa? I wish I did that on purpose. I didn't. I said Momoa. I'm going to call it that from now on. Also, that dude still got a hot body Quipulsion You could play under the sea On those abs

Starting point is 02:01:50 He did in that movie I can't believe that was so funny And my last song was Friend Like Me from Aladdin You Katie Nolan you went last Your first pick was I'll Make a Man of You From Mulan Katie Nolan, you went last. Yeah. Your first pick was I'll Make a Man of You from Mulan. Part of Your World.

Starting point is 02:02:17 For the ladies. For the ladies. For the girls, damn. And for me, from fucking the little woman. Beauty and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Just Can't Wait to be King from The Lion King. Just can't wait to be king. Not yet! And your final pick, Colors of the Wind from Pocahontas.

Starting point is 02:02:46 Now. of the Wind from Pocahontas. Now, we want to hear what your picks would have been. Wait, do we go through the ones we didn't pick? Gaston, I listened to Gaston back, it wasn't as good. Drinks like a star. No one laughs like a star. No one shares a bunch of genius.

Starting point is 02:03:10 No one laughs like a star. No one closes his eyes when he kisses your lips like Gaston. What? What was that? Because the little guy was in love with him. Huh? But my click. Can I say?

Starting point is 02:03:23 Oh, Zero to Hero is good. Can I say? Wait, wait, Hero's good. Can I say? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. All right, wait, wait. Yeah, you guys got to calm down. Everybody, everybody. I just want to say, one that I didn't pick that I wanted to pick was that song where she says, they have stolen the heart from inside you.

Starting point is 02:03:39 I know your name. What's that? Is this not a Moana crowd? Oh, I haven't seen Moana. This is a Momoa crowd. This is a Momoa crowd! This is a Momoa crowd. This is a Momosa crowd.

Starting point is 02:03:54 I see you drunk. Jess, since we have a room full of people. Alright, alright, alright. You wanted us to keep going. Here we go. This has nothing to do with AFV. I just think it would be fun to do. We heard you, sir. We heard you, sir. We heard you, sir. Sir, you were heard. Alright, just like

Starting point is 02:04:10 everybody, everybody, What's happening? Somebody has to hit the high one. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Take my hand You got me rockin' in a rolling rock In a really bubble wrap Wait, but aren't we going to go through the songs we didn't draft? Oh, no, I thought that

Starting point is 02:04:51 We left a lot of stuff on the board When you believe from Prince of Egypt You pour unfortunate souls Also that, also that The song that brought Whitney and Mariah together Be prepared Ashley had that pick Oh, yeah. The song that brought Whitney and Mariah together. Be prepared. Ashley had that pick.

Starting point is 02:05:11 Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don't be shy. You don't have to ask why. Oh, yeah. Kiss the girl. Wa-wa. Shiny. Nobody saw Moana. Oh, also, wait, Katie, I wanted to ask you, the song you picked, is that the same song where they're like,

Starting point is 02:05:27 Be a man with all the strength of a raging river. With all the force of a great typhoon. With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon That was the same song? Yeah. I'm never gonna catch my breath Say goodbye to those who knew me

Starting point is 02:05:52 I'm always gonna eat candy Yeah, I got it. Yeah, they got it. I got no strings to hold me down To make me fret, to make me frown A dream is a wish your heart makes. I had the, and I didn't think anybody was going to care, but I had, and I thought it was too on the nose,

Starting point is 02:06:13 but I had that like, once upon a time in New York City. Was that Lady and the, oh, was that Bible? That's also Oliver and Company. Oh, all right. It's by Huey Lewis. Look for the bare necessities, those simple bare necessities. Forget about your worries and your pride.

Starting point is 02:06:36 Yeah, man. There's no bare necessities. That's how our nature's recipes. There's no bare necessities. Our life... All right, let's land this. All right, all right, all right. I'll sing us out in a second here. Before we do, shout out to Super Producer Marissa. Shout out to Marissa.

Starting point is 02:06:57 Yo. The God. Marissa the God. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to fucking Frank the Ocean. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to fucking. Hell yeah. Shout out to the Patreon. Break the Ocean.

Starting point is 02:07:07 Shout out to Haji Beach. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to St. Kelly Jordan. Shout out to fucking Ashley. Yay. Shout out to fucking Ashley. Shout out to old Kevin Barra.

Starting point is 02:07:23 They're in the corner. They know it. Shout out to the Bell House. Thank you for fucking with us. Thank you so, so, so much. Shout out to Megan Rapinoe. Shout out to Megan Rapinoe. And Sue Bird.

Starting point is 02:07:36 Shout out to Vinny Testaverde. Yeah! Shout out to the human beatbox. Shout out to the human beatbox, Rozelle. Shout out to Ian Carmel. Oh, there we go. Shout out to David Borey. Relax, relax.

Starting point is 02:07:56 Shout out to Katie Nolan. Yeah! Shout out to Sean Jordan! Shout out to Sean Jordan! Shout out to how drunk we're about to be in like 20 minutes. Everybody, everybody, everybody. When you wish upon a star Makes no difference where you are Anything your heart desires

Starting point is 02:08:32 Will come to you Tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shackling! for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shackling! that was a hate gun podcast

All Fantasy Everything - Disney Songs (Live w/ Katie Nolan, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

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