All Fantasy Everything - Disses in Song Lyrics (w/ Aaron Edwards, Sean Jordan, David Gborie)

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

Everyone knows we rep the good vibes HARD, but sometimes we gotta talk a little shit! That's why this week we're drafting "Disses From Song Lyrics!" We're joined by comedian, writer and known diss enthusiast Aaron Edwards!  Guest:    Aaron Edwards @ayroned IG: @ayroned  Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @marsmel IG: @mars.melSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting disses from song lyrics. And returning with us today is comedian and writer Aaron Edwards. Aaron is a writer for Crooked Media

as well as All Caps NBA out every Friday. I'm your host Ian Carmel and as always I'm joined by friends and comedians Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is, uh, that is, that is, you know, it's recovering from this gum surgery. It's a day later than last week. If you can buy that. It's a day later than last week. You can buy that it's a day later than last week you're probably in more pain i would imagine i'm in a different i'm in a different kind of pain now i'm having i'm getting headaches from it and uh and the gum still hurts kind of a t-pain

because it's your tooth like a t-pain it's sort of a t-p Uh-oh. I started right away, dude. I started right away. I like it, dude. That's good. I mean, the wok was hot, dude. Toss in the veggies. Yeah, we're ready to go. Yeah, man. It's on like Michelle Kwan today.

I'm out here. Living. I'm excited. I got a Red Bull. I got a green Red Bull. Dragon fruit. Sean's drinking a dragon fruit Red Bull. Dragon fruit.

Shout out to everybody that bought David Jagerbombs last night. He texted me complaining about it, but he didn't mean it uh i know i know i know their names dude shout out to marshall and styles style he definitely was dude styles was great he was sitting up front i called him a racist it was fun also also shout out to young duncan who i bought a bunch of shots but he took it strong young duncan young duncan and style and marshall calgary was really fun it's been really fun young duncan and styles can get you something harder than just the agar bombs dude i'm not talking about they can get you actual bombs dude those guys are on the arms market young duncan styles arms training and style sounds like just an 80s movie villain just They can give you actual bombs, dude. Those guys are on the arms market. Young Duncan and Stiles, arms trading.

Duncan and Stiles sounds like just an 80s movie villain. Also, did you know that Canada, the drinking age is 18? Yeah, I did know that. We drove up there just to do that when we were 18. I believe that. Yeah. Because I bought this kid a shot and he took it. And then I was like, how old are you?

And he was like, just turned 20. And I was like, oh, no. Just to clarify, it's 19 in Ontario and Toronto. But I think it's 18 in other parts of Canada. Way to keep it classy, Ontario. There we go. 19. That's a big difference.

You're all grown up by the time you're 19. You got to figure it out by 19. I knew more at 19 than I did. You got a lot of stuff figured out. You got a house. You got your mortgage figured out yeah i think i think i had a car when i was 19 so that was i was i was a smarter more responsible person at 19 than i was at 21 yeah probably that's a pretty good point they let me in bars my shit went downhill again this is a bit of a two steps forward one steps back thing happening with me in my late definitely had my shirt on more once state border separated me from my mom i was just like an uncivilized person that's true oh that's true once mom's once there's not even a chance of

you seeing your mom in the streets your behavior goes downhill yep i wasn't seeing kelly jordan in the streets a lot we didn't go to the same spots no but there was a chance right because it's still the same town not a lot they put you they were never playing like buck cherry at uh tommy jacks pop it pop it ox or the crowbar yeah she you know it's always been pretty straightforward with mom i've never really hidden too much so it yeah i was never really sweating that where is where does kelly jordan hang out in sioux falls the kitchen these days she can barely walk but uh she used to all right keep it let's keep it light john jordan top top top of the podcast well i'm trying to think of where she heard i'll lighten it up walmart i think we're trying to ask

what where did where did miss jordan keep herself entertained yeah what are her favorites probably she didn't do she's uh she's a l7 weenie man she's kind of a square she never really did much but she's she doesn't have places she likes to go walmart i mean she'll go walk her you know how i like them all how we like them all she feels that way about like the grocery store in walmart she'll go walk around it's but like if she wanted to get a dinner if she wanted to go for dinner out to eat where would she go i'll let you it starts with a c i'm gonna let you guess what do you think cinnabon pulvers oh that's like the spot all right that's that's where you go i really fuck with cheese bring your own silverware

sue carmel used to take herself to stanford's because they had a pop and happy hour That's where you go. Cheese curds. You sit down at Culver's. I really fuck with cheese curds. Bring your own silverware. Sue Carmel used to take herself to Stanford's because they had a pop and happy hour. Look at her little art show dip. Maybe three glasses of wine. Oh, absolutely. Is that a steakhouse? Stanford's? Yeah.

What's Stanford's? It was like a mid-upscale restaurant chain that had like a pretty good like a good kind of it was like it was a little classier than than than Culver's well I don't know I've never been I don't know what a Culver's is it's a more expensive it's a burger it's a blue Burger King nice

yeah it's better than that it's better than Burger King Culver's is fire dude dude clovers is up there with wendy's as far as quality oh nice well yeah we didn't have culvers in the uh in the pack and they have crinkle fries no there is not there's only yeah we built idaho to keep culvers out i know it was the border i just thought of this and it might not be the best idea a chain that just says restaurant on it. Yeah, that's great.

That's pretty good. A restaurant chain. It would take me a minute to get it. Out in public, I'd be like, wait. But then I'd be like, oh, this guy is 10 steps ahead. I thought he was behind. He's not even playing four-dimensional chess. He's playing like six-dimensional Monopoly. I'm not here with my finger rings that say long gone silver, but this guy.

I trust you more than any Bitcoin person if I saw you in that. That's not tough, though. I trust people on the street more than any Bitcoin person. I trust someone robbing me more than Bitcoin. Yeah, I don't trust that shit at all. Come see my hour. I'd love to see your hour when are you going to be in la i'm gonna wait i'm gonna wait till it's like really strong before i

get to la i want to run i want to do la like right before i record come do it come to a come to a late night set dude i gotta get the hours strong first but i would i'll i'm down i david and aaron i'm thinking about maybe trying to take a trip down to la masked as a bachelor party it will not be but wait what do you mean matt you're gonna just being like hey i don't want to actually do any bachelors to any of that shit but why not i don't know i mean it's good enough just to hang out that's i mean that's all i'm gonna do bachelor shit is getting my titties out well yeah well you're gonna open your mouth is that i'm hiring some kind of entertainment it could be the harlem boys choir but somebody's coming to the room could be the harlem boys choir hood could be the harlem globetrotters could be harlem

world it's one of those three the hot sauce from and one. Just to dribble around. Yeah. I want those guys to know each other. Are the Harlem Globetrotters the Harlem Boys Choir in the Harlem world? Is there one dude who was in all three? Oh, my God. Come on. Doctor Strange. It's just like how Snoop was in Death Row and No Limit. It's just like he was in so many different things.

That's what I think. Like some guys just like, no, I am Harlem. I was in Harlem World. I was in the many different things. That's what I think. Some guys are just like, no, I am Harlem. I was in Harlem World. I was in the Boys' Choir. I was a Globetrotter for three years. And I'm also in Dipset. Yeah, I'm in Dipset. And I interned under Dapper Dan for a while, dude.

I made Louis Vuitton patent leather overalls. Yeah, you know that Louis Vuitton duffel bag I use at the gym? I made that. I made that. That's for me from me, dude. I bet you there's a pimp somewhere named Louis Vuitton. You just said that, but I bet you. Somewhere. What's up? I'm Louis Vuitton. I think all iterations

of Louis Vuitton have been taken as a nickname. Yeah. I think it's probably maxed out. Yeah. That mine's been had. That mine's been had. That well's been had. Sean Jordan is here. Now that well teeming with black gold.

Texas tea. Oil. Sean Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram. A lot of them. Sean Dragonfruit Red Bull on Bloodstream, dude. And I got a coffee. coffee jesus have me a coffee

i'm out here hearing dana dana and i went we walked out uh from a little walk earlier today and got some coffees and she ordered an eight ounce black coffee without thinking i did too that is not a lot of coffee no that's not many ounces little that's a bite of the cake man i was like good enough for my queen good enough for me and then i got it and i was you know i wasn't happy yeah it's like a capri sun of coffee feels it feels a little too it feels like you're uh holding uh like a child's coffee if there is such a thing yeah what i don't know how to what is the proper amount of caffeine in a day i was hanging out with a friend of mine the other day and she pounded like two huge red bulls and i was like i think

that your pee is gonna be crazy like how much caffeine like you drink coffee regularly right how much do you drink a day i have two two cups a day. I have two glasses. I have iced coffee. Two glasses. Are you a coffee man? No, I'm not. I drink my pre-workout in the morning and that's all I have. Caffeine was.

Really? Yeah, me too. Me too. Pre-workout seems to be similar to cocaine from what I can tell. I mean, it's not as like the drop-off isn't as bad, but it can keep you going throughout the day. I mean, not as someone who has partaken,

I just mean the drop-off I hear... You don't want a career change? You don't want a career change after? I think I hear the drop-off is worse. I used to rip lines of pre-workout between sets, dude. Yeah. I did some pre-workout before.

Dude, I did a bunch of pre-workout before dude i did a bunch i did a bunch of pre-workout wrote a wrote a script that's kind of like groundhog's day set on a battleship set in the future that's just actually the past dude that all happens within the expanded geico universe yeah that sounds about that sounds like pre-workout to me definitely sounds like you you probably told a lot of people about it after you did more pre-workout yeah it's 12 cigarettes i used to have a text the guy who texted a guy to get my pre-workout i did a bunch of pre-workout one time i bought a white sweatsuit and a black sweatsuit and had a push-up contest with myself in the living room i remember that yeah it was intense you want to change it yeah i won and i lost

uh sean do you have any do you have are you doing stand-up anytime soon where can people come see you what's the deal i don't think so man around portland maybe but no i'll be getting married soon when even within like a month and a half so not a lot of leaving so when are you thinking of coming to la come next weekend dude i don't know i can't well next weekend i'm gone well so when as we're speaking right now next weekend i'm gone but um yeah i don't know i'm just gonna toss it around but i don't have any like road dates or anything i guess independence oregon is somewhere one of those days anyway independence oregon i think so is that far away no not well it's gonna be a bummer right like it's gonna be one of those don't do that whoa what am i doing here it's those shows always end up being way more fun than you think though

not always when they're bad they're bad i don't know that you're gonna have a great time i don't and so you know i was talking yesterday about the whole like i've been feeling a little flash of nervousness when i do stand-up it really is really really bothering me so i'm just like trying to get in front of it and be like this is it it's insane to get nervous doing stand-up for me so that's just wild i get nervous every time yeah i never ever get ever i never get nervous that's i don't even know what that's i can't even relate to that ever get nervous. Ever. I never get nervous. I don't even know what. I can't even relate to that. I get nervous every time I do something. I never get nervous. The longer the break, the worse it is, too.

I haven't done it in a while. So I feel like the next time I'm probably just going to have a panic attack up there. So I'm just mentally preparing for it. I've been scared this whole weekend. Every single show before. Really? I'm not saying that I always do well. I'm saying I'm not.

You're like, you get nervous nervous yeah all the time and you not really no after it's been a while i do if i start like eating it then i get a little you know like what this sucks but i never it's not i think like when i used to do when i very first started the feeling feeling of doing standup was the feeling that I got before you get in a fight or something. It was that kind of nervous. And that has gone away, obviously,

but I don't like that feeling. No, I feel like that's why when people are nervous to do standup, that's what I like when they DM me or whatever, I'm like, it's going to feel like that to me. That's what it felt like to me. So it's going to be hard to make yourself go do it,

but it, that goes away or, you know, but to be fair, I have that. i get dread before i do anything big when i played football before games i would get really really sleepy i just like yeah naturally i just naturally don't want to do i would paint my face like a skull and spit in the other linebacker's mouth and he would spit in mine and then we'd lay on the traffic lines on the freeway sometimes just to get our boners up it really was the jv guys who were always going nuts yeah that's true what

if the jv you see the jv guys painting their faces and you're like you're not going in he's gonna sit there painted like wolverine on the sidelines put on tight pants and take a shower later i remember arches used to roll around in the grass it looked like they played and just have like the green streets on them it was really smart that is a bummer oh man that'd be a tough one to see i'd feel i wouldn't even say anything i'd go over be like i'm sorry before i do stand up i feel like a debutante gliding down a staircase in a beautiful chiffon dress dude so i like that that's a man i wish yeah that's peaceful chiffon huh chiffon yeah chiffon jordan yeah i got nothing coming up Enjoy life. Smile. Put it out in the world. There it is. Stefan Jordan.

That's the Urkel instead of Stefan of Sean Jordan. Oh, that's your Stefan Arkell. Wait, so this is my Urkel? Yeah. Yeah. Well, Urkel is just your resting state for anybody. This is my Urkel. Yeah, this is my Urkel.

All right. Okay. Okay. All right. That makes sense. So what's my Stefan Arkell then? I have more of an edit. I don't know.

It's you in like a purple suit. I skydive? All right. You kiss Laura. You do. After the wedding. I want to go to hell, Dave. This guy's out here kissing Laura.

All right, Sean. Sean Laura. Alright, Sean. No dates. Sean, no dates, Jordan. Yeah, been the nickname for a while, man. But keep a lookout. Independence, Oregon. Performing all over Portland, Oregon. David Borey is here. CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. Not on Twitter. Not on Twitter.

You blew it. It's like me at the Chihuly Museum crafting a gorgeous, gorgeous vase. You blew it. We miss you on there. Oh, you blew it. I thought you were going to say you barfed. Sometimes I get this idea of doing it, and then I'm like...

Of what? Throwing a pot? Going back back to twitter i'll be like i'll have like one idea that and then i'll be like i'll just write it down and try to say it on stage or something it's not yeah you you made it out you made it out in one piece you're good yeah i'm happy i'm just like the doom scrolling had to stop and i feel like writing it down and trying it on stage is such a better dose of your creative energy yeah and i just get my battery goes low man i can't be dealing with people all the time you know that's what i that's what i learned about not being on twitter that shit does like i used to hate it when people would say shit like that but like that shit does drain

me man i don't i'm not as much of a people person as you would think i gotta be out i gotta i gotta be off the grid sometimes man yeah i'm a specific people person right right i can hang out with you guys all day like strangers strangers draining my battery that's such a good way like i've been hanging out with this person for a week straight and i didn't even notice. But then someone else is like, can I drop something off? And you're like, oh, no. You want to come inside? Can you just text me when it's on the porch and you're going? Yeah, I don't want to.

You could leave it in a hole in an oak tree. Just Uber eating friendships. Yeah. That's the app. Do I have dates? Oh, so when this comes out in two weeks oh april 7th i'm gonna i don't even know how you get tickets for this but i'm gonna be at carnegie mellon university opening for janelle james yeah come to that and then uh april 15th come to faded denver last night i was not there but it sounds like it was very fun.

Great group of people. It's going to be great at the Skylark Lounge in Denver upstairs. Baby. Skylarking. I'll kiss you on the mouth. I was there one time. Big smoochers. You never been to the Skylark?

Did you go to the Skylark? Yeah, one time. It was Buck. Upstairs? I think so. I was with you wherever we went. Yeah. It goes down up top. I'll wherever we went yeah it goes down up top

i'll tell you that it goes down up top yeah i mean it's just like there was a basketball coach there one time it's just a wild scene in there oh wait i'm thinking of the wrong it was the where the after party or the the performance lounge was at high plains right yeah that's that's the sky but that was before it was open yeah yeah that's like really cracking. Oh. Gotcha. And it's within walking distance to my home. Oh, nice. I need some Nashville hot chicken up there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did that chicken catch on

so hard? I don't know. It was just the food that was there, so I was eating it. No, but I mean, everywhere I go, I feel like there's hot chicken now. Oh, Nashville hot chicken. I think it's cheap to make. I think spicy food has addictive qualities. I think there is a perception that chicken is healthier than,

even fried is healthier than other forms of fast, cheap food. You mean beef? Cheeseburgers. Taco Bell. It does feel like when you go wendy's you're like let me get the chicken i'll be good today let me get the chicken sandwich yeah you're like all right sure i feel like i've had less bad chicken sandwiches than i've had bad burgers though yeah that's a lot of it well his beef isn't bad for you right necessarily well like anything there are

you know moderation you don't want to eat a ton of it, red meat. Yeah. You're going to have to sell a little bit in moderation. You'll get the King's disease. You'll get the King's disease. A bunch of arrogant pricks. A lot of cholesterol in it. Yeah. Also not great.

Raising beef, not great for the planet Earth. Gassy. Red Bull's good for you. Red Bull is good for you. That's a great way to consume beef, dude. It's a good way to start beef dude it's a good way to start beef i'll tell you that these and drive around rush hour oh there's too much caffeine ever give you kind of like shaky butthole though yeah okay it gives me rookie cop butthole dude like a rookie cop on the

fourth you're gonna make a bad decision yeah that teen's in a hoodie oh no it's like come on rigs you're crazy the job's the only rethink that movie i know i know he's a bummer man lethal weapons a good movie mel gibson danny clever's okay dude what are you talking about he's like oh boy isn't he like also man he can be a bummer and that movie can still be good man we gotta like come on that's what's happening i'm saying oh absolutely yeah yeah like like bummers are good at stuff sometimes and i don't want to stop watching their stuff yeah right talent has nothing to do with morality i hate when people people confuse that. It's like two completely different things. A lot of nice people aren't good at shit.

Yeah. I like watching a Mel Gibson movie and enjoying it extra because I know it would cheese him off. Yeah, that's nice. Fuck you, Mel Gibson. Do you like to peeve people or cheese them off a little more? I'll tell you this. They can take a long walk off a short pier. I don't give a fuck.

Kick some rocks. Me and a pack of my black brothers like to watch Lethal Weapon sometimes to kiss no gifts enough. A pack of my black brothers. I started watching Paula Deen after the controversy. That's how I learned

how to make hot chicken. I like hot chicken from a stone cold racist. That's a tagline. It's got to be good. Oh, yeah. I think racist. I used to have this joke about how I wanted to have sex with racist people, but it never stuck.

It can be funny for you. I'm going to try it tonight. There you go. You ready for this calgary i'm going to i'm going to salem tonight i'll try what i think the joke might be yeah do that do that and then let's compare notes tomorrow i'll film it and be like david this is what happened when i said i want to have sex with the race i know what i'm turning on my Google alerts on for. Sean Jordan's going to show up in one of his own fight videos.

Holy Jason. By the way, Network sent me Jason Concepcion. He sent me a video. Do you see that video of the Taco Bell? I think it was in Europe where the dude, there's this bruv that rushes a guy who works at Taco Bell and the guy working just

catches him picks him up perfectly and body slams him but also kind of pile drives him so he body slams him but right on to i swear his temple and his nose and then the guy's just out like a light and it is wild it's it's one of the that's definitely fed the algorithm for about a week don't don't fight someone who's at work. Exactly. That's, dude, when I was bartending, it's always like you'd see these dudes who are falling down drunk and you're sober. You're working and you're like, you don't really want to go down the road. It's not going your way.

They're probably going to be sober if they're at work. And they already got like a low baseline of having had it. You know what I mean? You're bummed and you're like, you on point you've been on point you know you like you haven't been cutting loose all night yeah focusing on shit it's just kind of annoyed like low-key annoyed all night they already knew you were going to be a problem when you walked in i guarantee that dude working who body slammed that dude immediately when the guy walked in was like man i hope i don't have to body slam that guy but i'm ready to i just hope i don't have to yeah he he was clearly ready to it wasn't even fast you don't want to

fight anybody that works in fast food i worked at mcdonald's when i was 16 and i was already over from like the second i got there yeah no they're ready to go oh dude uh my buddy dipped his just because they were bored one day they put like a quarter or something at the bottom of the fryer and tried to like quick grab it through the grease. It's like those dudes are. Oh man. Yeah. That's awful.

We used to slide around the place on the wrappers, just put them all on the floor and just see how far we can slide around the McDonald's. That's pretty cool though. Yeah. I like that. I like that. Yeah.

Can I ask you a question about McDonald's? What's easier to make breakfast or lunch? Lunch. Breakfast is the eggs kind of take a while because they have like the little ring thing and they have to pour it and it's just like it's more hands-on stuff that you have to do i mean it's easy but you really just have to throw it on the grill it's not easy it always takes like it always seems like breakfast takes more work yeah it's piping hot though yeah it's also as someone who's been inside do you recommend the hot cakes because i have a buddy who swears by the big big breakfast there's some people that like it's weird to like have regulars

when you work at mcdonald's but, like, some dudes that would come in. That's not a good scene. And they'd be like, give me my hotcakes. You know what I'm here for. And it was just, like, a weird thing. I really just didn't see a big deal. Like, every day they would come in? Yeah.

It was just like, what up, John? Like, you back. Here's your pancakes. Like, it was one of those kind of things. I'm not, like, a genius, but I know it's probably not good to be a regular at McDonald's. Miss a couple turns if you're a regular at McDonald's. Yeah, it's probably a bad scene. It's one of those things where you're dying young or you're like, he lived to the age of 98.

Yeah. McDonald's every day. That's what you hear. My grandpa had a fucking double stack every single day. He had an egg. He started every day with an egg McMuffin and ended it with an egg McMuffin. Yeah. It is.

I'd love to know in advance that I could be that guy. I'd be living my life a little different. How would you tell? I lived it from the ages of 14 to 34. Different than how I live it now. I don't need to know. I'm happy.

It's nice waking up and feeling all right you know that's true that's true it is nice uh aaron edwards is here aaron edwards is back been a while a ron ed a y r o n e d on twitter and it's the same on instagram the old so-and-so's aaron how are you it's great to have you back i'm good it's the same on Instagram. The old so-and-sos. Aaron, how are you, bud? It's great to have you back. I'm good. It's glad to be back. My life changed a little bit after this show, so you guys changed my life. I feel like I should have thanked you. It's nice to be able to thank you guys as a group, but you guys changed everything.

It's been pretty wild since that show. Is it because we beat you up afterwards? Just forward our 10% to Marissa and she'll handle it. Yeah, no big deal. She'll take care of it. I figured it was going to be a monetary issue coming up. Who are you talking to specifically? Who are you talking to?

I'll send the invoice to cricket and no settle everything for you guys. Cricket doesn't want anything to do with me of the, of the wireless kind. So I, I just don't leave my name off of that. John has a sordid history with cricket wireless yeah cricket wireless they uh they tried to try to go skimpy on my minutes on my prepaid back in the day couldn't make the calls i needed to call and someone had to spend an extra night

in jail your razor just didn't have any minutes motorhome razor just failed you know it reminded me one time my buddy he was uh he got arrested and i was walking in to go see the movie troy it's the middle of the day and he hit me up yeah he hit me up and he was like he goes he goes come come bail me out essentially and i was with another buddy and uh i was like oh let's go get him and i checked how long troy was it's a long movie it's like three hours yeah so we went and sat down and i think in troy and then i'm pretty sure adam called me and uh he was it wasn't adam and joe but adam wasn't he was helping to remedy the situation he called me and he's like what are you doing i was like i'm gonna watch troy and he goes get the fuck out of troy so i had to leave troy i bought the ticket and

everything i had to walk out of the movie to go help god i i do not miss those days when somebody would go to jail like you'd hear somebody would go to jail and then inevitably you'd get that call for whoever was rounding up money usually who it was like whoever his girlfriend was at the time or whatever where you're like i don't even think you care about this and i don't trust you with this 20 bucks adam one time he had to go and he'll correct he'll tell me the actual number but he had to go somewhere like 30 places and over write the check for like 40 bucks over because you could only do it for a certain amount and then go to every grocery store he could find to get enough cash to get someone out that night and he did that he adam's like the only dude that

would really do the work like i would do a little bit yeah no same i would not but also sometimes too i'm like like the stuff my friends were going it's like yeah man you fucking maybe shouldn't be driving drunk through a playground maybe that night would be okay for you yeah maybe you should sleep like there was always like this thing like we got to get him out now but it's like okay but like we've had to get him out now like six times yeah maybe you should sleep in jail yeah if it comes get to the points where you're the asshole for like asking first like what did he do before i yeah because i don't agree to this and then and then it also i felt like and this is this is maybe on me i never felt like i got the thank you i deserve i'd see him back like hey

turtle you're out he'd be like yeah that shit sucked and be like okay but like yeah i was asleep yeah thank no thank you david you're gonna you're gonna tell me about punching a 14 year old like you're gonna bring up the deal so you pulled a knife on your stepdad again and that was my problem that's my problem what got what what were the chain of events that led you back to your own bed less about how you got in more about how you got in, more about how you got out. Here's a fun little fact. Aaron, your last appearance, last time you did AFV, was in the Fortress of Solid Dudes.

You joined us in person, and it was March, or perhaps late February of the year 2020. About 100 episodes ago, just got that in my ear, from Super Producer Marissa. It was was march because you were there the weekend that like everything got shut down yeah i was telling mill that i flew we had five episodes yeah that that weekend i flew back to phoenix um like that monday or tuesday and when i got back to pho Phoenix like two hours later the NBA got shut down and so it was like everything all happened at once and it was like super crazy that it happened that week Tom Hanks Rudy Gobert day yeah yeah that is wild because I that was when

boy it's so funny to think that was when we were like we had those dates in Texas set up and we're all sitting there like we've had the flu we'll see you soon maybe this is me misremembering you say we were all like that I don't I don't remember I was definitely like that yeah for sure I was too I was yeah I remember talking to Sean about it I mean playing it up but I didn't think it wasn't a big deal but I was like for I was like for sure we'll be all right because i just didn't realize what was going on and then i think they canceled south by like whatever yeah that was because i was i was in portland sean hanging out with you doing a tv show when they canceled south by

we had out with kasan teague's meeting oh yeah yeah i was hanging out with a lot of people that weekend. Remember, you don't remember, Sean, you picked me up? Yeah, I remember. Just trying to keep it down. Yeah, of course I remember. Somebody looking for her shoes? What happened? Yeah, I was looking for shoes.

Sean picked me up when I was looking. A girl looking for her shoes. Oh, that. She found her. That girl found her shoes. That a different that was a different time now i lost oh yeah the point was that when i found out about the nba me and zach were doing the most wholesome thing me and zach were getting ice cream and then zach was like they shut down the nba and i was like, well, I'm having a great day.

Did you drop your cone? Oh, no, I got a shake. I prefer it drinkable. That's a move, getting a shake at an ice cream place. I like that. Yeah, it's a very Tuscany thing, too, to be like, hey, do you want to just go get some ice cream? I forget you can do that. Yeah, I have a thing where I don't like regular ice cream i forget you can do that yeah i have a

thing like where i don't like regular ice cream i have to have it in shake form like my girlfriend thinks it's the weirdest thing but like i can only have ice cream if it's in the shake i don't really like the spoon-ness of ice cream i get i get sick of it kind of i'm like really yeah after a few licks i'm like i'm over. What if you froze a shake and then thawed it a little bit and ate it with a... Could you do that? Like a blizzard? You're taking like a blizzard? I don't like... It's hard for me to eat like a bunch of ice cream, but it's

like easier to drink. You don't like candy, though. I just don't like sweets all that much. I feel like a shake involves more ice cream than a scoop. Much more. And milk and all that stuff i maybe i just like it yeah i think the spoon is in the cone is it's like too much responsibility i think i don't know yes it's daunting it's daunting i just like the straw right here and just let me get my

ice cream that way a milkshake is a milkshake is on your schedule you're on an ice cream cone 100 yeah that's it completely i know it's a rush i'm having to like lick my knuckles when there's you know what i mean you're holding it and it gets in the crease of your fingers and you're like i don't want all this i don't like like it running down and then i'm like yeah you just look like a lunatic licking your forearm and stuff it's yeah it's i don't want to serve the food i want the food to be served to me you just find it like why is my elbow sticky for some reason and you're like oh that's a ice cream i'm a bit of a sex symbol so i do like lick an ice cream off my knuckles and arm i understand and then you

have that's how you're getting the marissa if i'm trying to stay like if i'm trying to stay in my stories it's me like an ice cream off my arm my hands if i'm trying to stay in the zeitgeist the way i want to stay in the zeitgeist i gotta keep eating ice cream cones my arm, my hands. If I'm trying to stay in the zeitgeist the way I want to stay in the zeitgeist, I got to keep eating ice cream cones. I'd watch that one, two, three. Just eating this ice cream off his own arm. What do you I mean,

first of all, it's very nice of you to say your life changed after you did AFE. You are so incredibly funny and talented. I think it would have happened no matter what podcast you went on. You changed your life. This just happens to be the only podcast. The only podcast. Why don't you tell the people where they can find your work now,

whether in person or digitally? You can find me on Crooked Media, all caps NBA, every Friday. We drop at usually like 7 a.m. I'm in the gallery. I write it. Come up with some of the dumb things that you guys see. You probably hear my voice saying Christmas poems sometimes like all of it. I usually.

Yeah, that's just the job now. And a couple NFL pods with Megan Gailey. That one's over, though. But you can catch you can watch Go Horse, the Colts part. Hard Knocks podcast. Me and Gailey did that together. You can go rewatch all those because that was just really fun to do

with her. And yeah, that's really all I'm doing right now. I don't really get to do stand-up as much as I used to since I'm writing so much. That's a big change. Yeah, that's how that goes. BTB, bro. BTB. I guess that's the second B is

bro already. BTB't i wasn't listening to the sound what was the question on your stories last night about why you think there's more doors than wheels is that what it was there was this huge internet debate a bit uh now like three weeks ago when this comes out maybe a month ago like uh what are there more of in the world doors or wheels i was big on doors i was i was a hard we talked about on the late late show i was going hard on doors because every bit my house alone has like one two three four you know like eight nine doors in it yeah because i'm doing all right you have more doors in your life than wheels and i think most yeah most people do definitely more doors but then like between your work and then your car and like yeah the the cbs television city studios has so many more doors

than wheels in it we have 15 doors at our house i just counted right and someone brought up hot wheels cars oh that micro machines micro machines like all of a sudden you start thinking there are a lot of there's a lot of little wheels yeah bikes in amsterdam yeah bikes bikes in china yeah yeah but what about every car door uh every so every car every car wheels they have four doors well most of them two to four yeah oh that's true every skyscraper has more doors than we see that's a good i didn't even think about that. And then you look at New York and all these Chinese super cities and stuff. How many doors are in the Empire?

I'm going to look it up. How many doors do you think are in the Empire State Building? I have no idea. At least 10. And no wheels. I'm on a chair that has five wheels on it right now. Yeah, same. There's wheels on this bar cart in here. Yeah, mine's got five wheels on it right now yeah like there's a there's wheels on this a bar cart in here yeah mine's got five wheels too yeah it's that's why it's such a great question yeah yeah it's not all right fine i'm getting back on twitter

it was one of those things where i'm like this is what twitter can still do this yeah yeah that's what it's for that's fun yeah that's interesting like i'm sure i didn't see this happen but i'm sure you could find a thread where four tweets down it devolved into someone accusing someone else of privilege and that's why they think it's wheels or that's why they think it's door yeah yeah once again you're erasing china you know something like that just because you forgot about bikes like uh twitter makes me think i don't think people actually do want to be happy no does a cupboard count as a drawer or a door like a cover i think so but not a drawer it's got like an oven door stove or whatever

like a dishwasher door yeah i don't know the parameters of a door now. Because a drawer is you open it and it's self-contained. And a drawer has wheels in it. A drawer that's... A sliding drawer usually often has like... Yeah, a wheel on each side. But like to be a door, I feel like it's got to open with... Only be attached at one side.

Like one point with hinges, you know? Yeah, but like a hippie house. Like with the beads instead of doors. does that count a refrigerator a freezer those refrigerators all have doors this is sorry i didn't mean to go on this yeah i think that we're gonna get lost in this yeah we don't get lost in this i think this is really that's fun to talk about anyway david i just keep moving from port to port for about the next three months. I think that's fine. Yeah.

Melt your fingertips. Put them on the stove. Again. Again. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel.

I'm noticing Sean's Zoom name is Laura. I saw that. Seriously? Oh, yeah. missing Sean's zoom name is Laura. I saw that. Seriously. Oh yeah.

You know, if it ain't one thing on, on Jewish noticing that, uh, I got nothing. Oh, uh, come see me at hot.

I'm going to be doing more standup around LA. I just miss standup a lot. And, I'm going to be on hot tub April 4th. Hot tub. Hot tub. Are you doing any shows in Redondo? I'm going to be on Hot Tub April 4th. Hot Tub. Hot Tub. Are you doing any shows in Redondo? I'm going to be in Redondo on Hermesa, bitch. Just look at my Twitter. I'll be announcing

more shows and stuff on there. Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden where I am the sidekick. Listen to all fans say, for God's sake. Now, we're gathered here today not only to say Redondo like a surfer ghost, but also to fantasy draft disses from song lyrics, which is something I feel like we've been kicking around for a little while, or at least I've been kicking around in my head.

You know, the mind often travels to rap first but many different types of songs have disrespectful lyrics everybody beefs everybody that's what i like that's where this comes from isn't it buddy disrespect yes yeah i didn't i never put that together that's where this comes from yeah cool it's a smart podcast it's a smart show yeah yeah it's a smart podcast people don't realize i know some of you listening didn't know either so don't scoff nobody's scoffing somebody's scoffing i forget that i forget that prom means promenade all the time so i can't really hate i didn't know that you just touched on that too and promise shirt for promenade i had no idea i was getting so when like the promenade was where you would like parade around the main drag a town right it's like the main street or like the main thoroughfare or something so is that what prom is where you're just like going to show off at the at

the promenade um i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know anything about the history of prom you know other than i drank a lot of goldschlager at my i think i drank keystone light oh that was back in the days i was so willing to drink bad beer when i was a kid i didn't drink at prom which is weird because i drank out other times in plenty it was not a good it was not there's not a but also my problem was wacky it was in this weird museum called the buff the what was it the buffalo experience or some shit like that oh oh really mechanical bull like what not no not the buffalo experience you expected to have on pro no it also i it was like in aurora and like it was far away from school and i ended up working at the car wash like up the street from where i had my prom a year

later it was not good it was not a good time we had ours at the shriner's mosque you know phillips did you wear a fez no why not you know uh can you can just be a shriner right don't you have to just pay like 30 bucks a month and then you're a Shriner or something like that? I don't. I think it's going to be harder than that. I think it's much easier than I thought it was when I was a kid.

Don't you have to burn your arm or something? You keep talking about it loose like this, you're going to get targeted. I can't help if you want to... I can't help but notice that you've also changed your screen name along with David. Ian's is now Nicole, and David

is also Laura's. I've always been Laura. And I've always been Nicole. Well, now I'm going to have a panic attack. We'll see how I navigate the rest of this show i got stitches in my mouth dude all right yeah why are you gonna have them in your god damn eye if i see you again and i'm laura's like i always have been he always has been dude

you're marrying david i don't know that we say the last name oh sorry i took that out this is a heavily that's a good point i'm sorry sorry. Have they ever said Laura's last name? I don't think so. I've published it in several different... Several different promos. She ain't hard to find. I mean, she's always in the streets. I tweet her name regularly.

It's like that Tupac song. I ain't hard to find. Yeah, Laura's famous for going out. Everywhere. Everywhere. Every time we go to Canard, who's there? Hammered.

Laura, at the bar, holding it down. Drinking aperitif. Shout out to Canard. I love you, Canard. Yeah, this is in song disrespects. We're drafting disrespects in song lyrics.

Now, the way we determined the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you. We throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Oh, three-way shit. Okay, here we go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Aaron wins. Aaron, playboy., shoot. Aaron wins. Aaron, playboy. Good. Anything that takes David's punk ass

off the top. Don't hate me. I'm disrespecting, dude. It's on brand. I'm dissing you. It's a new term. Figure it out. I'm going to disrespect you for the next hour,

so don't worry about it. Disrespect is different from dishonor, by the way. Disrespect is like when you're mean to someone. Dishonor is what Shane brought to a bathroom. I think the bathroom would also say it was pretty disrespectful, but yes, more dishonor. Shane brought great dishonor to the bathroom. Laura, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors,

it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? I'm sorry. That's a great question. It's like channel surfing in a hotel

when you don't know what channels are what. I think you're in Canada or something, so you just start at the bottom, go all the way up, see if there's anything you like. You kind of linger on the last channel for a minute. Then you just go all the way back to scope the channels

that were maybe on commercial or something, all the way back to channel two. Then you sit there for a minute and then go all the way back up to the top until you eventually find Lethal Weapon or Shawshank or something like that, Ocean's 13 maybe. uh you take a bath and pleasure yourself before you go to the comedy club and then do the show you're not what you're not jacking off in the bath right oh no come on that's

crazy i only made that you make that make you make that mistake big time once and then that's that... Some men just want to watch the world burn. No, I didn't want to watch it burn, but it burned. I didn't want to watch it. No, it's in the tub with you! It's a big mistake you make one time. And then you don't make it anymore. Unless you don't think it's a mistake. Oh, no! Unless you like it in your chest hair for some reason

i don't like this that's insane i don't like that oh okay david let me remind you that you said you used to do it over the toilet in the hotel yeah that makes way more sense i know what i'm not you know where i'm not swimming around in the toilet. Well, then you should have really stayed in a hotel. I have a separation between church and state. You're mucking it all up. You need to use the hotel with every amenity they have.

You're putting God in your schools. One last ingredient in the fucking dude soup that is a bath. The key ingredient, some would say. I is a bath the key ingredients i would say i love taking baths i'll tell you what i know you did first i took a bath the other night well they're great yeah they're really nice it's still i can't i still never feel i'd never feel right like i don't i can't i don't know i wish i liked it as much as you i just feel i always feel wrong well more room for me then yeah true in the bathtub in the bathtub of society oh dude i'm gonna make a disrespect album called society's bathtub nobody's safe who's getting it in this people who are nike and adidas

everybody's getting it everybody's getting it man men women everyone who's not getting it. Everybody's getting it, man. Men, women, everyone. Who's not getting it in this, you know? That's true. That's a better question. Yeah, yeah. No one. Aaron, as the winner, what is, with that in mind, basically if you pick fourth in the first round,

you pick first in the second, what will be the order of today's draft? I'm going to go Ian Davidson me. Whoa! Okay. Aaron!. Whoa! Okay. Aaron! Okay. I like second. Second I can handle.

I like second and third. Second and third are the spots to me. First is a little like, I just do it because sometimes I gotta get my first shit. Do you feel like yelling out hot corner with kind of a Jewish lilt? Hot corner! I felt racist. It feels racist doing

it no can we cut that well just in case you cut it this is what aaron sounded like he goes hot corner i like that a little better that's what aaron was more like Now if you'll excuse me, I have to ride this child to a bank I own. Is that a Jay-Z lyric? That sounds like some of his stuff. Stop saying picks, dude. Stop saying picks.

Wait, that was a disrespect from Jay-Z? Can we call him Disrespects the whole rest of the show? Yeah, we can say Disrespects, that was a disrespect from Jay-Z? Can we call him disrespects the whole rest of the show? Yeah, we can say disrespect. Was that a disrespect? We can do whatever the fuck we want. We can. I... Well, we'll get to my first pick right after, actually. Actually, we'll get to it

right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to

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That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code ALLFANTASY. Yeah, we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy. Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed. The only form of media that has ever existed of,

except of course, for all caps NBA. Obviously. Yes, yes. Anything else crooked media wise that Aaron gets his hands on. Except for my first pick, I have never felt so honored

or seen in the history of this podcast thank you aaron i feel i think you know what i feel like it's a retract a respect track oh sure yeah okay i get it when i cried talking about how you're a good guy? That you didn't feel seen? I felt... It feels a lot less genuine when you bring it up after the fact. I felt less seen and more Sean. It was years ago. It feels like you did it for credit now. Well, now, David, you just dug your own grave, man.

I got to write a disrespect track about you. How do you feel about that? I feel pretty good. Yeah, watch your back. He's done it, dude. You've heard Nike and Adidas. That's true. Now you're going to hear David boring.

Fuck. Yeah, man. Just a taste. You think I didn't go to junior high school? You think you were the first one? That'll be included in the disrespect track because no, I don't think you went to junior high school. You think you were the first one to stumble upon that? You're asking a lot of questions that will be answered in my forthcoming track, David Boring. David Boring.

I'm going to write it and put it on Patreon. I believe it. I hope you do. I believe it. Keep in mind, I'm pretty excited. It's David Boring, and then in parentheses not sorry but s-a-h-r yeah yeah let's not let's not do the lifting for him yeah this is how you get people to write shit for you dude you just kind of i just stir the pot a little bit all of a sudden

the macaroni is done i just got tom sawyer um i did not expect to go first, so I didn't even have this one on my list. Oh, really? But I think I have to take it. It is... There's a lot of amazing ones in... There's a lot of amazing diss lines. Uh-huh. It's more seldom that an entire diss song comes along i bet i know what you're

doing i i think i would probably do yeah i think yeah i think it is from open to close and i'm not i'm not fucking you know i'm not discovering america i'm not breaking any new ground this isn't anything new right but but you're a meaninch. Oh, that is not at all what I thought was going to happen. Dude, I did not know that was coming. This is why, now let me just stop you. This is why this is such a fun show. I didn't even kind of think of that. And it's perfect.

That was great. That was the best. I'm going to go tell Laura after this and her jaw is going to hit the ground. That's perfect. Good job. It is fucking, he goes off so hard sung by a man named thorough ravenscroft ravenscroft thorough ravenscroft thorough you're a mean one mr grinch that's how it starts off fine you know what i mean that's that i think any one of us could bear that slang that arrow yeah fine you're a mean one

you're mean i've had people i've had people scream that to me out of their car. Yeah, obviously. I've heard David Boring. I've been mean. Right. Exactly. We know Sean's mean. Oh, I'm vicious.

I'm ruthless. Then he calls him a heel. You really are a heel. That's fine. Whatever. A heel. Okay. Then he says, you're as cuddly as a cactus.

You're as charming as an eel. So now eels are catching strays. Mr. Grinch, you're a bad banana with a greasy black peel jeez you're not if you nobody's safe i would bite you if you said that he did it like will smith too he didn't swear at him whoa aaron just passed out aaron fell down aaron imagined someone calling him a bad banana with a greasy black the lyrics just made me so mad we fucking saw god for a second he really gets him he goes on from

there you're a monster mr grinch that's tough your heart's an empty hole your brain is full of spiders you've got garlic in your soul gross mr grinch i wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole that's a long pole that's long he put the half in there i'm not sure that i've seen a pole that long maybe a flagpole maybe yeah that's true yes david why do you have a giant pole in your living room i'm interested in your dick dude that's gonna be a david boring you're a vile one mr grinch you have termites in your smile you have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile mr grinch given a choice between the two of you i'd take the seasick crocodile yeah he really hates him yeah it's easy to hear that and move

on and be like oh that's. Are crocodiles in the sea? Yeah. Yeah. There's ocean crocodiles. Oh, dude. Australia. Oh, that's fucked me up just now. I like that.

Yeah. They got to look up. I thought they were on like rivers and lakes. I didn't know they were in the water. Crocodiles. Dude, they're swimming in the ocean. They're hanging out on the beach. Those are two words I didn't like next to each other.

I didn't know you could do that. them fight a shark it happens oh fuck dude damn that's a problem yeah that's australia that's what that's why we're not coming i mean we will come but although david's thoughts about the beach are changing right now yeah i really i really don't like that but i'm sorry continue i'm, like, imagine a seasick crocodile. A crocodile dangerous enough, now it's in a bad mood. And this guy would take that over the Grinch. You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty, wasty skunk.

Talking like a baby. Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk. Mr. Grinch, the three words that describe you best are as follows and i quote stink stank stunk it goes on i don't want i don't want to do the whole song no you don't want to do the whole you want to tell everybody yeah that's that's a bummer yeah i've never i never heard that whole song before yeah Oh, this guy unloaded both barrels, the full clip. You've never heard?

Have you ever seen The Grinch? Yeah, I just only remember the opening. You're a mean boy. Yeah, I don't remember him getting lit up for that long. He was just taking so many shots. It's unrelenting. There's nothing in this song that isn't disrespect directed towards mr grinch uh-huh and the fact that it's sung in this bellowing baritone by a man named thorough ravenscroft

can you imagine getting no no thorough's here to slap you all right hey this guy with his fucking voice like the grand canyon and named thorough ravenscroft is gonna hear and just sort of that voice is so big he's got to have a hog to match. You know Thurl Ravenscroft had a big dick. I bet he's got a Milton Berle on him. Yeah. Absolutely. He's got a Milton Thurl on him. He's got a Milton Thurl, dude.

No, that's a great pick, man. The Grinch. Thurl Ravenscroft. So that's a great pick yeah that's fantastic the grinch yep thorough ravenscroft uh so that's my first pick david boy it's time for your first pick i think for my first pick when i was looking stuff up and i was reading lyrics this is the one that got me the most i'm taking nine inch nails star fuckers ink oh yeah specifically this lyric where he says i'm every fucking thing and just a little more i sold my soul but don't you dare call me a whore and when i suck you off not a drop will go to waste it's not really so bad you know once you get past the taste ass kisser uh-huh some people say people say it's about marilyn manson but that's it that shit fucking hurts now now trent now trent resner quite a successful yeah yeah quite a successful what is he employed by apple is that right trent resner he makes eaters soundtrack. I mean, are you saying that he's a star fucker?

Are you saying that this is, you think this is hypocritical? No, I'm saying that he ended up. Speak on it. He makes film scores now. He ended up getting paid pretty well for a lot of stuff that maybe he had different thoughts about

when he wrote that song. But that doesn't mean he kissed ass. I don't know if that means he kissed ass. No, I'm not. No, I'm just, it's fantastic. I'm just saying Trent Reznor is killing it you're gonna have trent resner making an additional spec track about you we've all been in la you've met people where you're like oh i think you would do anything for it and not feel bad yeah you know what that's like a real that's a real type of

person like i see where he's coming from man it's wild to think about that that's a hard line it's not really so bad once you get past the taste yeah good song too yeah yeah and yeah it's fun did that ever make it into football like pre-football listens oh no we had like seven songs yeah it was like it was like one mixed CD that Steve Reed made that we just played over and over again. I just listen to Bone Crusher a lot. Oh, man.

I ain't never scared. I ain't never scared. East side? West side? When you see me outside of the club. When I'm outside of the club. There's no when you see me.. I'm outside of the club. There's no when you see me.

So I'm outside of the club. It's like he starts mid-story. So I go to my heavy Chevy and start my game. I remember that came out and Sam Talent used to tell everybody Bone Crusher played for Georgia. And I would always be like, I think you're lying. Great lie, though. Yeah. It's like one of those believable ones yeah you might have been right i just never i always thought he was full of shit about it uh yeah but then but and then i was reading about this song that he's he definitely

said marilyn manson was one of the people that he was talking about yeah i guess they had a little bit of an issue but then marilyn manson directed the video so they like got back together i guess they squashed it that's kind of fun yeah but yeah that was i that shit's hard yeah yeah i might have a nine inch nails day you guys might not hear from me for a while i had did i tell you i've had a i had like an alice in chains week yeah yeah it's it's tight and then i had had a little Nirvana day yesterday. I don't know. Oh! Yeah, it's fun.

Well, that's brought on by the Batman, I imagine. Yeah, so is that a Nirvana song? Because I could not find it. Something in the way. Something in the way. Yeah. Never heard that song. Something in the way.

I was looking for it. You just heard it. Everclear, Still Banks. Listen to Santa Monica for a while. Everclear. Everclear? Yeah. Everclear is fucking rock. Portland to Santa Monica for a while. Everclear? Portland boys, man.

The fun thing about having Alexa in the crib is like anytime I think of a song, we just listen to it. Like I just, you know, because Max just You're cheating on Laura? Yeah, Alexa's a really talented singer. Laura is too. Trust me. But Alexa can sing anything.

So, you know, what am I going to do? Alright. No, I'm not cheating on her never will yeah of course not every every single day of my life is uh i feel like the luckiest person alive so no just to make it real serious yeah thanks yeah no problem no problem so sean loves his wife great i just talked about a lyric about blowjobs. We're not married. We have a daughter out of wedlock. Yes. Trent Reznor's name is Trent.

Yeah. Reznor is doing a lot of work in that guy's name. It's doing all the lifting. It's a good thing Reznor is tough though. It can lift a lot. If his name was Keith Reznor, you put like almost anything on the front of that name and he'd still be him you know i think so daryl well daryl alexander oh alexander it's got an x

in it there's a dude uh running for governor in oregon maybe governor how's something but his name's karek and uh karek resner what about that his first name's karek his first name is karek yeah that's okay not no and this is a sight unseen on his politics but karek works as a first name with resner i think yeah yeah fart resner what about the immaturity by all three of you just now okay i'll stop thank you where were we sorry anyways yeah oh i guess no fart if you say fart one more time if you say fart one more time, if you say fart one more time, I don't even know.

Okay. Well, we'll see. We'll see how... I don't even know. We'll see how my first disrespect choice goes. I don't even know. All right. Well, it is your first pick,

so please. First pick. Put that behind us. Put that behind us. It wasn't going to be my first pick, but as we are talking about Canada, I'm going to go to the Great North for one of the best diss tracks of all time.

I took an excerpt out of it. Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity? I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner. It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced. And are you thinking of me when you fucker? I don't know why I didn't like the way you said that. When you fucker. I didn't like it.

Yeah, that's worse than saying the other f word that you told me not to say i'll tell you what what alanis man fart he means fart just to remind everyone what happened a few seconds ago i mean i i definitely meant fart i definitely meant never had to tell Sean not to say that other word Just to be clear Anyway Alanis Morissette wrote a whole song to Dave Coulier

About him being a bummer And anyway I can't imagine she blew Dave Coulier in a theater Why not? People get blown in theaters every day But Dave Coulier I think that he might be a cool guy Did I ever tell you my

okay so i was in peoria it's a city i opened for uh dave coulier all week squeaky clean he would even do this it for those uh listening can't see it i'm holding up three fingers as like a read between the lines type thing so he had a bit where he flipped someone off and instead of holding up a middle finger he would hold up three as so he didn't technically have to flip anyone up last night he the last night of all the shows he has himself one and a half miller lights leaves with two women more women than miller lights yeah yeah you don't think that guy got blown in a theater he was he was whatever all week he wasn't he wasn't not nice he was fine we just didn't talk that much but then the last night he'd said a couple said what's up a little bit one and a half miller lights leaves with two girls and i'm

like oh i just see you dave i see i see what you came to peoria for so yeah because that's what i thought was like i could see that dude getting sucked off in a theater sure that's what you thought to yourself i think about that with a lot of guys but i hope you feel it she's that that like a lot of the work in that song i mean the lyrics are devastating but she's also she's coming hard at it dude no yeah well that was the world's or our introduction to alanis morissette and jagged little pill and that was one you remember those things where you get like a tape even start and then cds but you get like one and then you get 20 for a penny each or something that old chestnut oh that was one yeah that i got which they were not a penny don't believe the hype you definitely had to pay more than a penny for those cds but yeah one of them that i got that i got um what... What else? Radiohead. There was a Sublime...

You don't care. But anyway. Yeah. Jagged Little Pill, man. The whole thing knocks. Still. Sublime Self-Titled? Yeah.

I really thought I was going to be able to sneak that pick in, but Sean got it. No, that was... Yeah, I figured it was going to go... I had it on the list, but I figured it was going quick. I was going to wait until David went a couple times, but I just figured might as well hop on it real quick so yeah lana's more set you ought to know yeah but that great pick great pick aaron time for your first pick all right my first and your second pick as it is a serpent oh shit that's right oh so i'm going

my first pick is um kanye west and run this town this might might be my only rap one. What you think I rap for to push a fucking rap for? What do you guys think I was driving when that song drops? This was a diss on you. This was a diss against me. I had my white rap for and Kanye came at me like this.

Oh my god. You had to sit in that rap for and listen to and like that song it was tough every time it's a good song also though it's a good car it's a good car good gas mileage affordable it was nice that being said you want a bike in the back to To me, one of my favorite Kanye lines, honestly. It's so fun. It's like, ooh, yeah, you're right. I used to like, I'd be driving back from, we would do shows in Seattle, and we'd be driving, like, you know,

right when things are like, ooh, you might actually be good at the stand-up shit. You know what I mean? You're going to be going places. I imagine I was with you a couple of those. Probably. I'd be blaring that line in my whatever shitty my whatever shitty car i was driving you know what i mean like the best case scenario is it was my mom's crv which is well i rose by any other name a rat for it you know what i mean like but

i feel like as long as it wasn't specifically a RAV4, you could do it and not feel crazy. You could be on a longboard with a fucking broom handle pushing yourself along and you'd be fine as long as it wasn't a RAV4. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't push a fucking RAV4. Toyota had to feel that line. I'm sure they heard about it. In the pocketbook, you know what I mean?

Oh, for sure. You think anybody at Toyota was like, nobody listens to this Kanye boy. It's gonna be fine. I don't know. I didn't mean to say that. I seriously didn't mean to say that. You notice how I went backwards real quick.

I was hoping that everybody's headphones cut out for a second. It's two big weeks for you sean two days two days if we're being honest two days back to back oh my god but yes uh rap war kind of escape for me jesus yeah that hurts that one that that really does hurt that really does hurt that whole his whole fucking verse and that is so good yeah yeah really makes it like that it was i mean it was

like his like i'm i'm i made it verse right yeah it kind of was yeah yeah it was like i can spend my whole life goodwill honey what album what album was it on it's on on Jay-Z. Yeah, I don't think it was his song. Yeah, it was Jay-Z's song. Oh, Jesus. Really? It was definitely his. Funny how you can go from being Joe Blow to everybody on your dick. Yeah.

No, no. Yeah. There were a lot of lyrics that I was like, oh, well, that can't go in this draft. Only thing gonna come is it's good when I'm coming. Yeah, that was crazy. That was a crazy line, too. And up top, two bee stings. Yeah.

And I'm bee sting off the re-sling. Kanye just drinking white wine. Yeah. Bee sting, bee sting of it. That's like, yeah, that's one of those things that only works in a song. Like, you can't just say that. Like, hey, Ian, what are you doing this afternoon? Beasting off the Riesling.

I mean, I'd still want to come over. Yeah. I want to see it. Sounds fun. That chicken wing night, we were beasting off the Riesling. Yeah. I mean, I've had a few Riesling nights. Yeah.

What is Riesling? It's wine? It's a white wine. Remember? Because we were drinking white because it came in that gift basket when I did that charity show for the Sklar brothers up on that hill. Oh, that's right. We were just drinking white wine in the green room.

That's right. That was fun. Nobody else had brought friends. That country club. Dude, I did not have any business being there. Cloud already. Jeans on. Team strong for sure that night. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was chicken wing night? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we were on one at the country club? I didn't even put that together. That's hilarious. That was the second stop of the night.

Yeah. It was like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were in North Hollywood. Yeah. The hills. The roost. And then the roost.

Yeah. Yeah. Always make it to the roost. Every stage of denial that night yeah it's not just a river in Egypt it's what happened to me that evening run this town to your first pick the diss was on

Aaron by Kanye and your second pick my second pick it's gonna be Fleetwood Max you make loving fun second pick? My second pick is going to be Fleetwood Max, You Make Lovin' Fun. The story behind that song is

she wrote it about the light guy, light director that she was sleeping with, but told her husband, who was also in the band, that it was about their dog. So the whole diss is pretty much to her husband having to play a song about his wife cheating on him for years.

The song grew up, so he kept having to play the song about his wife cheating on him, which is just... Oh, my gosh. So the entire song is just a diss song. It's rough. That made my stomach hurt, man.

Oh, my God. Leo and Mac were like... It was torrid is that the right word everybody fucking up everybody i mean that was the time though weren't they all just kind of boning everyone like 70s yeah well fleawood mac especially to make your husband just play bass about you getting tore down by another dude is pretty wild oh my stomach hurts more now he was probably cheating on her at the same time yeah this is the 70s it's funny because he

probably thought it wasn't a big deal he's like well i don't want to do it i'm just doing because i have to you want to do what you're a rock'm a rock star. People expect me to be like that. God. Sweet, wonderful you. You make me happy with the things you do. Oh, can it be so? The feeling follows me wherever I go. I never did believe in miracles,

but I have a feeling it's time to try. I never did believe in the ways of magic, but I'm beginning to wonder why. Damn. God. Could you imagine you're just back there like you mother you fucking bitch getting porked by a dude wearing a utility belt those are the guys who will do it those are the guys who are gonna do it it's more of a diss to the soul i guess then yeah just an outright we're all being disrespected here yeah yeah it's more of a disrespect to the soul

it just seems uh really messed up no that's solid man yeah that hurts me john i don't feel good uh i'm going i'm going rap this is one of the funniest to me one of the funniest lines it's from back to back drake to tamik mill but that whole um the whole part that he has so this is the part where he goes is that a world tour or your girl's tour i know that you got to be a thug for this ain't what she meant when she told you to open up more oh god so funny to me and the rest of that song is pretty funny and like it's it's all good but that specific line where he just goes this ain't what she meant when she told you to open up more it's like so so layered and you know

that someone like meek mill heard it and was just like oh who was the date of the time nicki minaj it was her tour it was yeah he opened and it's a whole thing where like oh but then the whole like seriousness of like i know you think you got to be a thug and oh it's just like that whole line's filled that whole song's filled with hilarious shit like it tootsies getting shoulder rubs all that stuff but trigger fingers turn to twitter fingers you're getting bodied by a singing yeah yeah that was pretty great a singing boy and sean would say now aaron you know me well enough sean's gonna carry that with him for the rest of the weekend it's really and i you don't know this so yesterday i said some shitty thing about magic johnson accident not accidentally but it was shitty it was funny you felt worse than

you felt way worse than it was so i'll feel uh i'll feel bad i already do even that he's like i'm the singing guy yeah it's i'm drake i'm the singer you're getting fucked up by me and i'm yeah it was very self-aware yeah very self-aware it was also the first time i heard bodied which you know the kids were using quite heavily for a while but that was the first song i heard anyone getting bodied uh beyonce song maybe i did but it's the first time i took note i guess but anyway that line just that specific line i know that she's got to be a thug for this ain't what she meant when she told you to open up more it's like my i mean hilarious shout out to all my boss bitches wife and dudes yeah that was also

pretty cool oh that one was tough it's i mean the whole the whole song man but you know i i know it technically it's open if you want to pick other lines but like so that that specific part of that song is to me hilarious had i almost picked it first if we were talking about himself into a position where if they broke up, he kind of got to take credit for it. Whenever it happened, for whatever reason. Say what you will about Aubrey. The man is a strategist.

He is indeed. Well, and you know what's fun about that song is like, there was all those rumors about Drake and Nicki Minaj. None of that gets brought up in the song, which is nice. He didn't resort to that. In the song, it's just very... And it't he didn't resort to that this is all in the song it's just very and it's all fairly light-hearted to me i guess like fairly as far as disrespect tracks go yeah you know he doesn't talk about murder or anything it's also like i'd be furious if some dude's just making a song about my girlfriend breaking up with me i'm like fuck you

i don't want to hear about this ever again Even when she tells you that you're better as friends. Like, I would be like, yeah, I would watch a drink. Oh, man, I understand. I would want to beat him up, too. Yeah, for sure. Drake seems like a guy that you would just want to punch right in his fucking mouth. Like, just talk about shooting me, you jerk. What is this?

Yeah, like, I could take that. That's fine. I could totally take that but you're talking about my girl breaking up with me that's like mean well in the accuracy the the stunning accuracy that with which this is delivered i do hate that drink did that though and then uh somebody else made a song about drake and he cried to lebron james about it anyway just at home listening to it looking over at nikki in the kitchen you know what i mean she's like meek put meek put your shoes on we're going to ocean prime and he's like just one

fucking minute no hold on nick nick he's just drinking a la croix you know what i mean and he's looking at her like eating so she's eating the gushers she doesn't know what's going on nikki i'm still taking in all this disrespect hold on let me process the disrespect david top of your second thing uh this pic i like because it's one song but there's two confirmed three possible different people that each of these artists are going at i'm doing timberland give it to me oh because timberland's talking about scotch storch justin timberlake is talking about prince and nelly furtado people say that she might be talking about fergie from what i can tell what's with the possibility of now what is what is justin timberlake's beef with prince all of a sudden when justin timberlake did uh sexy

never left or when justin yeah prince said sexy never left that's fine you don't get to come back at prince but that's why that's why he said if sexy never left then why is everybody on my shit it don't hate on me just because you didn't come up with it and then like so that's just i don't like that at all you didn't know that no i don't like it one bit and then like so that's just i don't like that at all you didn't know that no i don't like it one bit and then timberland's talking about scott storch what does he say he's like that's fine he's like he's like what does he say he's like he's like i'm a real producer you're just a piano man your songs don't talk to the charts i heard him i'm not a fan and then he says what else does he say people talking greasy and he says i get a half a bill from my

beats you get a couple grand and great yeah i like how you're taking me on the full ride you never heard that song no of course i didn't know that line was about Prince by any means. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's ridiculous. Yeah, and then they say that apparently Nelly Furtado, I guess there were claims that Fergie changed the style of her album to sound more like Nelly Furtado, and that's why she said, see, you try to switch it up, but girl, you ain't that dope.

What else did she say? I'm the one, you know. You love my ass and my abs in the video called Promiscuous my style is meticulous i don't know i just like that song and the whole chorus of that song that's just like hey yeah if you see me i'm gonna be nice but like i hate you you had a good point about her ass and her abs in that video i was gonna i was like that's yeah i'll co-sign that but i i uh i just can't get behind this prince situation i did not know about it oh i didn't love it then i don't love justin timberlake though i've been pretty open about that yeah yeah but uh i do like this song i've been taken to school about justin timberlake i did not think about it as deeply as i should have

and miel was the first person that brought it up actually back years ago on this show but how disrespectful how he handles himself so poorly in in those situations and yeah so this prince is just the it's another another layer to that onion also it's crazy it is i do appreciate the hubris like whoa justin timberlake you thought you could go at prince yeah Yeah, that's tough. Like, dog. Nobody. You were in the Backstreet Boys. He was in the Revolution. You're doing a Justin Timberlake's band right now. Oh, yeah.

See? Exactly. Now you're beefing with him. Exactly. He's going to call you David Boring in a song. Dude, do you think anyone's safe in that song? You're all going to catch some strays. Come for me, dude.

I'll fucking novaseline your ass. Wait, we're saying pics. Also, that was intense of a thing to say. You said, I'll novaseline your ass. The disrespect is the only lubrication there. No, yeah, man.

I feel like this whole situation, I fully don't like Justin Timberlake now. I just like the idea of like they got together and they're like, all right, we'll make, it must have been a conscious decision, right? Like Timberlake's like, I got this verse I'm making about Scott Storch. Justin, I know you've been having problems with prince now he's contractually supposed to be on the song yeah didn't scott storch and timbaland do the um what was the beginning of covid what were those things that blade versus did they do versus didn't they do

one yeah i think versus i think scott storch did one i don't remember who he did i guess storch for sure did one it It might have been against Just Blaze. Let me see. Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah, because Scott Storch played all of his Madden 2002 beats. Oh, it was Manny Fresh. Oh, yeah. I didn't watch that one, but I would be team Manny Fresh, I think.

Yeah, Scott Storch has some great beats. He just looks really weird. He's great, but just looking at him, you're like, man, I wish I could just hear you guys because you look like a goofball. Scott Storch looks like Sammy Sosa now. He sure does. Oh, my God. That's hilarious.

Man, nobody's safe. A couple hours of no safety. out to sammy sosa he's clearly going through absolutely home run king uh time for my second and third picks and oh i got some i got some oh okay this is okay I'm gonna I'm gonna take my one rap one it is a it's it's so brutal a lot

of the rap ones where you're like whoa whoa I don't even know why this is like it's not even this guy's most famous beef I don't know why future and jay-z were feuding at all why were they did does it david do you know no oh if you're just saying the line i think from what i heard they weren't beefing he just was like because he was talking about he just said it from what i remember jay was like he was just like

that's just rap that was just like an incredible line. It's from the song Kill Jay-Z off of 444. And it's, I don't even know what you would have done in the future. Other guys playing football with your son. That shit did fucking hurt, man. Oh, man. That is heavy. Because it's like, already, everybody

knows that Future's kind of a bad dad. Yeah. Everyone knows, like... Russell Wilson's so nice. Russell Wilson's so nice. Like, in my head, I'm like, if I had to choose, like, a dad, Russell Wilson.

I would also choose Russell Wilson. I get it sierra future did all these songs about how he's gonna get sierra back and like all this other stuff and like no no no no she's a seahawk now dude she's a denver bronco now she's a bronco now yeah yeah i did not know that they're already in town and shit, too. They're already like popping up. You could see. Whoa. I didn't know that.

And it wasn't even. So he just came up with that line. It wasn't even beef with future. He just threw it out. Yeah, it was just like, God. Yeah. It's such a mean thing. Yeah, dude.

We're all like that. We're all like that. I'm not putting it on you. I'm just saying, like, it's Sean Carter. How dare you? God damn. I'm worried for this David diss track now. now yeah i don't know what sean's gonna say david should be worried too i got it now i really have to step it up especially because i'm hiding a kid like drake yeah what if sean's diss track outed my kid i'm hiding i'm gonna make up so much shit about you and put it in there.

Just a fantasy disrespect. Yeah, it's just a brutal line. I'm going from one line about someone's kid to a line about parents. This is from the song One Jump Ahead from the movie Aladdin. Oh, man. parents this is from the song one jump ahead from the movie aladdin oh man i where this woman says i blame parents except he hasn't got him man i cannot believe you that was the sneaky that was the sneaky alley it wasn't that line it was damn well it's it's taken now my friend i know that's awesome dude what were you gonna get it? I don't even know.

I had it pulled up, but that's awesome. I blame parents, except he hasn't got them. Up until that point, it's like a fun song. Everybody's having a great time. You know, there's that lady who's like, still I think he's rather tasty. That's great. Aladdin's talking about how he steals just enough to get along he's only taking bread one jump ahead of the you know the the bread line all that shit it's a fun song

and then this woman comes in i blame parents except he doesn't have them holy jesus christ it's not my fault fucking a lady what the hell that is when you light someone up over something they have no control over it's it's like layers of disrespect he's a starving orphan she don't care just enough to feed himself in his pet monkey and you're like pointing out how he's like a street you know they're already called street rat scoundrel that's kind of fun but you're i blame parents except he doesn't have them so you're blaming his dead parents and it's just obviously yeah it's a societal problem and nobody's stepped in to fill that void and like you're like dropping a disc on them like that fucking harsh in a disney movie man this is sick this is really this is so rude it is rude but this he's talking about how like one swing

ahead of the sword people are already trying to kill him yeah i steal only what i can't afford he says that yeah yeah he was an orphan giving his heart out that was rude i absolutely love it uncalled for is what i'm gonna call that unc. Uncalled for. So mean. So mean. He didn't do shit to you, by the way. He didn't steal from her. It's not your bread, lady. He stole from some dickhead. Yeah, who had extra bread?

Maybe an apple. Class warfare, man. Class warfare. That's exactly what it is. Dave, time for your third pick. I wasn't going to do this one. I lightly mentioned it earlier, but like he just got him so good. I'm taking push a story of added on.

Yeah. Yeah. I've heard so many beef. So like, because that shit was like, usually beef is like, I I'll kill you. I fucking, I, you know, I fucked your girlfriend, whatever. That shit was like, Pusher said like, foundationally, I'm in a better place than you, and that's why my life is better.

Like that shit, like the line where he's like, he says, you mentioned wedding ring like it's a bad thing. Your father walked away at five, hell of a dad thing. Marriage is something that Sandy never had, Drake. How are you a winner, but she keep coming in last place? That's like, that's like that's like like if somebody said that like have you ever had somebody do something to you not now obviously but when you're younger where you're just like i'm gonna have to like if i see this guy i gotta like hit him with the bat like i can't you know what i mean like like that's like yeah like if i heard that it's like i got it i gotta like hit him with a bat like i can't yeah yeah you know what i mean like like that's

like yeah like if i heard that it's like i got it i gotta like just so other people know i gotta kill this guy push it to you just like went nuclear he dropped the new what about the line ovo 40 hunched over like he 80 tick tick tick how much time he got that man is sick sick sick he is dude he's dying dude dude when he says what he let him know you chose as your beyonce sophie knows better as your baby mother clean her up for ig but the stench is on her a baby's involved is deeper than rap we're talking character let me keep with the facts you are hiding a child i've said it before but it doesn't even rhyme no it doesn't even rhyme like yo oh my god and then he says and then dog and then he gives him advice he says love that baby respect that girl forget she's a porn star let her be your world yuck

that shit is like i heard that song and i was like there's nothing drake like you gotta you gotta shoot him what are you gonna do people ask why we say yuck because it's like that because because it's always preceded by something so hard it was like yeah that shit was amazing too because i was watching that beef play out. And I liked the clips since high school. I never. Yeah. I always knew that Pusha was one of the best rappers ever, right?

Ever. And then when that shit happened, and then Drake ran to cry to LeBron James, I was like, that's how you know, you got beat. That's how you know you, because like, listen, man, if a lion fights a lion,

one of them dying, right? Like there's not like, don't pretend there's rules to some shit. There's no rules to like, he literally went so hard that you had to cry. You were like, yeah,

well that's not right. That's not right to mention my dead friend. Like, or not dead, not dead, but like, if you listen to beef, what are

you talking about yeah he just ate you like that was like okay push is willing to take it there and drake can't like you know what i mean is it capable of taking he clearly sold cocaine yeah he's he's involved with strong men there's also other famous examples in rap beef so people bringing up certain diseases and whatnot yeah that shit happens all the time so like it really was like he was just like he beat he beat drake up and drink was like i didn't think we were fighting yeah yeah yeah because drake only won that beef because he's more famous like if we're just talking about what people said about each other he threw he threw a water balloon and then said he wasn't allowed to get that shirt wet exactly exactly that yeah yeah yeah and then he ran behind lebron james

is like you know what i mean he roughhoused with mike malloy outside the roost you know and then mike picked him up and dropped him on the curb and he didn't like that yeah i think that might be as far as like as far as like a diss check i think that might be the hardest one ever just like that shit was like how could anything be it had a thesaurus how could anything ever be harder it had research and like sources and shit and the whole thing was like and then when you came when it came out that like supposedly all that information came from drake's friend 40 like talking it was like that's where push because like drake alleged that kanye leaked all that uh uh yeah push up but push it was like no way 40s with this girl 40 kind of doesn't like drake which i'm sure that could be the relationship that makes sense yeah

and 40 was talking to the girl and the girl leaked it to Pusha. For sure. Which is like also the worst way to have that happen to you. Yeah. It's like, I don't think Drake would ever talk about it, but like, you know, that one. It hurt. It hurts me. It changed his whole life. All of a sudden he's a father. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That shit was, that shit, that shit. I'm spooked out. I don't really even like talking about it. Yeah.'m worried pusha might hear this i know and like talk to some girl that i've wronged you know and then he's like dirty socks under your bed or whatever you leave tp in the toilet

eating mustard with a spoon whoa but yeah that it just it had to be brought up in the spirit of what we're doing absolutely it's the it's the top of the mountain yeah that shit was that shit hurt my feelings don't mess with pusha t I wasn't gonna but that really made it and man don't fight unless you're down

to do it like you know what I mean I've read up this lyric before it's from a different song is anyone else gonna take any pusha t Made it. And man, don't fight unless you're down to do it. Like, you know what I mean? I've read up this lyric before. It's from a different song. Is anyone else going to take any push of tea? No, I'm not. From Crushes Crosses Caskets. I don't even know who he's talking about.

It might be Drake. But is there shame when a platinum rapper's mother lives in squalor? No. Children's in the Bahamas for the month. It's like he's talking about somebody. He is talking about somebody. Yeah. they were they were mr me too they were beefing with little wayne for a minute yeah i think that's when he was beefing with little wayne like because he was beefing with little wayne for a while and also just one more thing about the story of added on

the fact that he got that fucking blackface picture oh my god it's so because you can't even defend it like you see that picture and you're like what the fuck were you thinking drake it was a multimedia on black you're in blackface dude that shit was crazy yeah that shit that whole that whole rollout was pretty amazing yeah i feel like because drake's so popular pusha didn't really get i think like heads gave him the credit but i feel like a lot of people make it seem like drake won that and it's like nah yeah drake drake wins in life but pusha t is also doing very well yeah i think pusha t seems to me i also think he makes a lot of money off of

like underground like i think the don't think McDonald's jingle. You know what I mean? Pusha T is happier than Drake. Yeah, he's doing all right. Yeah, I think so. A hundred percent. Yeah. And Drake always seem.

You don't you don't you don't push that hard for success. If you're like I met Pusha T. And I don't use this word lightly. He was lovely. He seems like that was one of the first pictures you sent. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that and

you said he showed up by himself by himself that's how you know he's a good guy yeah yeah sick drake rolled up in three suvs which i also i understand that but like that's two suvs full of people who are going to tell your secrets that's right yeah you need to get yeah the crew needs to fit in one big suv yeah yeah sean jordan time for your third pick third pick i'm going the the self-disrespect route oh this is it's a it's a fun it's a fun it's a fun move i think i'm going big timers and uh i'm going still fly and i'm going with this this is my favorite excerpt can't pay my rent because all my money's spent but that's okay because i'm still fly got a quarter tank of gas in my new e-class in my e-class band but that's all right because i'm gonna ride it's just sick it's like such a fun

song where they just talk shit about themselves and it's great i love the whole song dope beat uh and it's just you know it's fun it's all it's a it's a very light-hearted self-disrespecting track i was hoping to that you got to what he had in his mom's name but yeah everything every everything everything i didn't want to catch myself slipping too it's it's funny because i was trying to pick parts of these songs that like were the main part i was thinking of but then you start reading the lyrics it's another thing i haven't ever read these lyrics to any of these songs i know them but i've never read them it's so funny when you read them it's just like this

is hilarious this whole song is hilarious the whole, cover to cover. And it's just the beat knocks still. It's still a great song. Manny Fresh is fantastic. I don't know. Everybody just kills it. Who was the other dude in Big Timers? Or who were the other members? Baby and Manny Fresh.

Not Baby. Was there not another guy? No, it's just those two. It's just those two? Yeah. Okay. I'm thinking of someone else. But anyway, yeah.

Some self-disrespect why not yeah yeah and i always thought of that lyric is like it's like just being like real about it like hey man yeah it's fine my life's not perfect but i'm good i'm all good i'm out here so yeah not you know nothing not to dive too deep on just some lighthearted self-disrespect yeah oh yeah absolutely the trunk went uh-uh and then i heard boom from the amplifier man i'm gonna listen to it today new suburban truck with a porno showing when porn was near to watch in front of people and people were just throwing the dvds in their cars i don't i would hate that if some dude showed up like hey check check out my truck dude roll the windows up my mom's inside in college i had a friend named zach he would

just be playing like mad or NCAA on one TV. And just have a porn going, not even looking at it. Just have it playing in his dorm room. Why? And shout out to Zach. I'm sure he's listening to this. Yeah, I mean, a lot of people don't know what to do when there's no parental supervision at first. I told you, once you cross eight lines from your parents, it's a mess.

It's candy for dinner. it's candy for dinner it's candy for dinner when you could get your hands on it immediately when it was first new to the internet where you're like whoa i can just you didn't have to download it you didn't have to go to like morpheus or kazaa or anything there were just websites and you're like i can just watch it it was pretty shocking alone i will proudly say i never watched i was never the type to like let's me get me and my friends watching porn together yeah i don't like that either it's always a joke but we we did it it was well we said it was a joke who knows but we did it i just take adam's computer and open it and just put it on and put it in the hallway and like right in front of his door that's funny yeah that's funny that's different that's great it was it was very funny yeah like i don't want to i don't want to seriously watch pornography with anyone yeah where it gets like progressively quieter in the room yeah like honestly most times

i don't really want to watch it by myself that much it doesn't feel like a homie task to yeah not at all make sure you get out of the bathtub first there you go that's a key piece of advice that's some wisdom it's a smart podcast uh aaron time for your third and your fourth picks all right i'm going with um how can you solve a problem like maria fuck you god damn it wait thought i was gonna be able to get that for sure i almost did it first because i knew it was gonna be ian and yeah i'm going how can you solve a problem like yeah it wasn't gonna be me and i'm not familiar i don't know it that well hilarious unpredictable as the weather she's flighty as a feather she's a darling she's a demon she's a lamb she'd outpest her any pest drive a hornet

from its nest she could throw a worldly devilish out of a world she's they just roasted her for like a whole song the biggest roast in my opinion is earlier in the song when it's still feeling kind of cute and one of the nuns is like she's a flippity jibbit and then one of the nuns is like, she's a flippity jibbit. And then one of the other nuns is like, oh, Will of the Wisp. And then the mother superior is like, a clown. They're making shit up. And the mother nun's like, no, listen, this is what she is. A clown. And she even kind of says it like more serious. Like not even in the tone of how they're talking.

She's not singing. A clown. She's a clown. She's a fucking clown, okay? I will hear nothing else on the matter. There are Nazis marching on this town. This is a serious

world full of serious people, and she's a fucking clown. Yeah, she got it. It's amazing. Yeah, so... How do you solve a problem like maria like they just roasted this girl when she was like gone they were just like yeah it's just a rough hang um yeah that was my one that just seemed i'm so glad i got it before you i had to react for rejiggering my whole shit now been there and for my next one I'm going with the 50 and Ja Rule Beef I just feel like I have to have this one in there

and it's 50 and Back Down and he goes I'm back in the game shorty to rule and to conquer you sing for the hoes and sound like Cookie Monster. Ha ha! Yeah. He does sound like Cookie Monster.

Yeah. That was when 50 Cent was at his peak of meanness and just pettiness, and he was just the king of the world at that time. And it was just hilarious. Yeah, he's really mean. He's great at beef. He's really good at it. You sound like Cookie Monster.

That's the shit where you didn't have to swear, you didn't have to do anything crazy. You're pretty accurate when you said you sound like cookie monster that's the shit where like you didn't have to swear you didn't have to do anything crazy you're pretty accurate when you said you sound like the cookie monster and that'll hurt yeah i mean there is i do think since you brought up that beef uh i do think there is a harder line in that beef that came from jaw rule though oh really what the one the one that he sent at eminem where he's talking about hayley oh god yeah you know he was like it's like it's really bad it's something like you say your mother is crazy and kim is a known slut. So what the fuck is Haley going to be when she grows up? Yeah. Whoa.

Yeah. And like the beat cut at that part when it happens. So it's like, it's just like acapella. It is pretty, pretty bad. When it makes you think you're like, shit, he's right. Yeah. That entire beef just got mean from everybody. Yeah. Didn't somebody get stabbed on that?

Yeah. I think it was like Yayo or somebody got stabbed or Young Buck stabbed somebody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, didn't somebody get stabbed on that? Yeah, I think it was like Yayo or somebody got stabbed or Young Buck stabbed somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Black Child, the guy from Bucky. When your moniker is Yayo or Young Buck, you're gonna get stabbed. Yayo probably more.

It probably hurt less than that line. Can you just stab me and take the line back? He made it sound not cool to sound like Ja Rule. Ja Rule has a cool voice. He said that's kind of a funny voice. He does. He talks like he doesn't open his mouth.

He just kind of talks like this. Because he doesn't really have to. Yeah, that's a good. That was one of the big beefs. That was a fun beef. Yeah. Fun beef, great. We're going to get to the rest of the picks

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Everything already in progress. We've just started the fourth round. And it's time to proceed. Sean, your fourth pick? I'm pretty excited about it. So I'm going rap again. I just keep doing it. But I'm going to rap again. I just keep doing it. But I'm trying to find different avenues.

So this isn't about anyone particular. It's about your mama. Farside had a song called Your Mama. Oh, yeah. And there's two parts of the song that I got to mash together because since I'm, I don't know, 14, when I first heard this, I've been listening to it. And these two parts make me laugh so so hard

but so the first part is her knuckles dragged down to the ground when she walked spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talked always it because it's not that bad it's just like picturing somebody who can't talk without spitting is such a deep deep disrespect and then at the at the end of the song they're all just kind of going back and forth talking and they go trey's mama got play-doh teeth and then someone else goes your mother be eating dayton's like now and laters and shit and then the next line is your mom is an extra on the simpsons they all all three of those kill me play-doh teeth eating dayton's like now and laters and extra on the simpsons because they're just like i don't even get eating dayton's like now and laters and extra on the simpsons because they're just like i don't even get eating dayton's like now and laters well they're big rims so it's just like why she didn't why don't we even get it i think because she's huge yeah okay it's just it's just

so funny to me though because that they just sound so playful and i don't know and then there's something about like she got locked up in the back of a taco bell in the back of taco bell with handcuffs i seen her on a bad night locked up in the back of taco bell with handcuffs she could eat what does it say she could eat like 24 burritos on a bad night something like that she's got a keg leg with a kickstand peg leg with a kid she's got a glass eye with a fishbowl in it i mean the whole thing but just that if i really had to narrow it down, honestly, I hate saying bitch again, but spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talks.

It just always got me because it's so sloppy sounding, but it just happens. Sometimes people spit when they talk, but it's like so unattractive and hilarious. Yeah, we know those people. Yeah. If you want an example of what I think about, it's in True Grit,

Barry Pepper's role in True Grit, the new True Grit. When you first meet him and he's like yelling at Rooster a bunch of shit comes flying out of his mouth when he's talking so i don't know look that up on youtube and that's what i'm picturing is this your mama anyway yeah far side david boy time for your fourth pick uh i'm gonna take queen a song i just learned about when i was looking at looking this up death on two legs and it's about their old manager and the whole thing it's not even really funny it's just like really really really like direct you know what i'm saying like yeah have you found a new toy to replace me can you face me but now you can kiss my ass goodbye feel good are you satisfied do you feel like suicide i think you should is your conscience all right does it plague you at night do you feel good i feel good

yeah he had a uh he had a romantic relationship too him and fred murphy oh that makes more sense that was a double feel good yeah you suck my blood like a leech you break the law and you breach it's like just really sad talk like a big business tycoon you're just a hot air balloon so no one gives a damn you're just an overgrown school boy let me tan your hide a dog with disease you're the king of the sleaze put your money where your mouth is mr know all was the fin on your back part of the deal shark what does tan your hide mean i mean i know what it means but what where does it come from the etymology or whatever. Cowboys. What do they... I don't know.

That doesn't do it. Cowboys. Okay. All right. I didn't get it the first time. Turn your hide. Hang you out to dry. Remove your skin from your body and put it over a fence post.

All right. Okay. There we go. There we go. Now I get it. Cowboys. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah, death on two legs. Queen, dude. Yeah, Queen. It was just also like, I just tried to look for ones that I had never seen. You know what I mean? I was like, I didn't even know Queen got down like that.

Yeah, right? I thought they were mostly talking about fat bottom girls and not meaning it you know what though i meant it they're just like what do straight guys want to hear about fat bottom girls that'll settle move some units uh time for my fourth and then my final picks my fourth pick aaron you could you could keep me from santa music but you can't keep me off broadway in general i'm going to the musical les miserables the song Master of the House about Monsieur and Mademoiselle Thénardier who are the innkeepers. And so the whole first part of the song is the guy,

the male in the innkeeper, Monsieur Thénardier talking about how much he rips people off and how he's, it's hilarious by the way, but just how he like makes a little money on the side by being a cheapskate landlord and then his wife comes in the song mademoiselle thanardier uh and she opens with i used to dream that i would meet a prince but god almighty have you

seen what's happened since and then she just proceeds to tear him a new asshole for the rest of the song. Master of the house, isn't worth my spit. Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong shit. Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire. Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there. What a cruel trick of nature, landing me with such a louse. God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house.

Master of the house. Master and a half. Comforter, philosopher. Don't make me laugh. Servant to the poor. Butler to the great. Hypocrite and toady and inebriate. Everybody bless the landlord.

Everybody bless his spouse. Everybody raise a glass. Raise it up the master's ass everybody raise a glass to the master of the house just tears him a new one for the whole half the song the master's ass that's big man that was that's tight just raise it up the master's ass on stage with her husband in front of all their customers just tearing them a new one that's great ripping them up gives it to them both barrels mademoiselle tharnadier uh it's great musical and my final pick i didn't i wasn't gonna go back to rap but i thought i was gonna be able to get Heidi to solve a problem like Maria. So I'm getting 50 Cent

involved again. Yeah, I don't know. Only twice. Again, somebody taking a shot at him. I'm going Joe Budden from the song Big Shot where he says I think maybe the steroids are finally getting to him or maybe it's people believing all the hard raps or maybe it's the tank tops

with the bra straps. Yeah, because those tank tops were insane they were insane that shit was i can't believe you thought that that was gonna work they were so weird they don't look good on anybody it was so weird around like the armpit area like it just didn't it was a straight line tight straight it's i you know i didn't notice that when i was younger and i didn't. It was a straight line. Tight, straight. You know, I didn't notice that when I was younger. And I didn't notice it until we talked about it, whatever, a month ago or something. But it's crazy. It's a weird tank top, man. And Joe Bud noticed.

Yeah. I mean, we all noticed. We all noticed. And Joe Budden said something. Joe Budden spoke up. Yeah. I didn't think I was going to be talking about Joe Budden on this draft. But there we go.

Breaking case of emergency. That's my final pick david your final pick uh my shit i didn't i don't know how i'm gonna close this motherfucker uh this one i don't quite understand that well but i like that it's a popular song that i never knew was a death song i'm taking woody guthrie this land is your land yeah because apparently he wrote it in reaction to america god bless america and there's like deleted verses on the song yeah because he thought that like god bless america i guess was too like was not really indicative of what was happening at the time. So there's lost verses of this song. They have one verse that's written on a piece of paper

that never got put down. And I think that's pretty cool, man. And I never knew that. Old folk beef. Folk beef. Folk beef. It's like a socialist anthem. He's like should know like the land yeah yeah like there's a there's a there's a line about like he saw a sign that says private private property and he went behind it and it didn't say anything and i guess they said he

didn't release it because of mccarthy like everybody was kind of tense at that time about you know what i mean you couldn't be provocative in that way. So I think that's pretty cool. Hell yeah. So Woody Guthrie. Woody Guthrie. Sean, your final pick? You guys all stayed away from rap enough. This is great because I can go into rap. I'm going fictional. This is Eminem as B-Rabbit. And it's funny because he doesn't say, this is one of my favorite parts because he doesn't say anything actually that anyone should be offended by in this particular line but everybody's so bummed out because papa doc acts so hard so the line is but i know something about you you went to cranbrook that's a private school what's the matter dog you embarrassed this guy's a gangster his real name is clarence and clarence parents and clarence

lives at home with both parents and clarence parents have a real good marriage none of that's bad but everyone's like oh what a dork he's faking it it's just always it every time i saw the movie i was like that's the funniest part of the whole goddamn movie right there just have a real good man have a real good marriage this guy's a gangster his real name is clarence which is a kind of a gangster name but the way that eminem played it it's like oh it does sound like a mark when you say it like that but clarence could be a gangster after that happened it was it was rough for clarence's out here like yeah yeah you just couldn't you just couldn't be out here named clarence after that for a little bit don't be don't be named clarence out here yeah anyway so that little b-Rabbit 8 Mile excerpt.

Yeah, that's a great one. Excellent. Man. There's somebody who I can't believe you didn't reference this entire draft, Sean. But I'll talk about it after Aaron's final pick. Aaron, your final pick? Sure, I know who it is. My final pick? I'll go in between two, but this one's still on here so I have to use it. I was going to go with the John Lennon diss to Paul McCartney,

but... Oh yeah yeah how do you sleep yeah i had that on there too but i'm gonna go with no scrubs um oh yeah um that one hurt because it got me directly yeah i think a lot of boys were like oh often in the passenger side of my backpack. Then Sporty Thieves only made it worse. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop. You guys are scrubs. You're scrubs. You're making it worse. You're making it worse. Nobody knows

who the Sporty Thieves are. Everybody knows TLC. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. We're leaving. We're leaving. We're leaving. Come on. I don't know them. I don't know them. I don't know them. You're not a pigeon. I don't know them. A scrub is the guy that thinks he's fly that's also known as a buster a fucking buster always talking about what he wants and sits on his broke ass and then they just sit on his broken and they just roast him for a full two minutes and it was and it was such a hit too it's so catchy yeah it was because everyone's like exactly

i've been thinking that you're right it may be a scrub also not want scrubs yeah yeah i almost hated that they called it out they gave us a name yeah yeah before i was just a dude getting a ride after practice they did shorten it up to where they're like, oh, David the scrub. Yeah, now there's just like a word to call me? Come on, man. It was a lot easier when he didn't want to go through the stress of calling me something.

Yeah, I liked it when I was just like, oh, man, maybe you should get a job. But now you got like a word for it? Hey, WWW is the World Wide Web. Yeah, it was like the first fuckboy. It used to be, oh, David's coming to lunch. We'll probably have to pay for him. But now it's like, David's a scrub.

Yeah, he's a scrub. And they had words to be like, I don't want no scrubs. No scrubs. None of them. Not a single scrub. Nothing to do with the scrubs. That's probably the most affected I've been by a diss song, personally. Well, for now. Yeah. Yeah yeah that's probably the most affected i've been by a diss song personally well for now yeah yeah that's true david david boring dropping this spring uh marissa do you have a pick yeah i'm taking a line from cardi b's wop it goes in the food chain i'm the one

that eat you if you ate my ass he's a bottom feeder as a scrub and a bottom feeder i also don't like that fantastic sean i can't believe you didn't pick any of the collected works of one taylor swift a famous beef artist. I looked at them too. I looked at so many, but if I'm being honest, they were mostly from songs that I couldn't speak on at a higher level. I would just be reading them. I didn't find a lot from any songs that I love that were good beef.

She's not a saint and she's not what you think she's an actress she's better known for the things that she does on the mattress what is that from what's from better than revenge yeah see like mean was one but it's like i don't know i don't love that song i tried to look up some from bad blood but they just i don't know dear john where she took john mayer to the cleaner like all She did. I thought you were going to talk about ICP, and I tried, but boy, did they have a lot of words that I didn't... Slim Anus?

Not a lot of variation with what they had to say about Eminem. They're not very good rappers, Sean. Tune yourself into this carpet bombing from Taylor Swift on Dear John. All the girls that you've run dry have tired, lifeless eyes, because good rappers sean tune yourself into this carpet bombing from taylor swift on dear john all the girls that you've run dry have tired lifeless eyes because you burn them out but i took your

matches before fire could catch me so don't look now i'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town so sick if he was rapping that would be does seem like exhausting he's talking about all the other girls he fucks now she's dragging them them into it. They have tired, lifeless eyes. Yeah. I know. They're just like, hey, I'm just being Jennifer Love Hewitt over here. Stop it. From the song Speak Now, she's yelling at a bridesmaid somewhere back inside a room wearing

a gown shaped like a pastry. This is surely not what you thought it would be. Talking about one of her exes getting married. Jeez. Making fun of his bride's dress. Tay Tay. I think Tay Tay. I think that's why Sean likes her is because they're both secretly mean.

Yeah. I like her because she knows exactly what she's doing. She's an amazing singer. Oh, yeah. But then really. Here's. Flame on. This is from the song Mean.

And I can see you years from now in a bar talking over a football game with that same big loud opinion, but nobody's listening. Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things drunk and grumbling about how i can't sing jeez damn yes yeah yeah i've probably said that about a couple people absolutely yeah that's that's that's rough that's rough too leaving alone the 10 minute version of the song all too well which is just whoo also shout out to adele on all this yeah yeah olivia rodrigo had uh she's probably got some fire in there somewhere yeah there's a lot there's a there's a lot of stuff that is not rap which is nice yeah yeah yeah i i picked two because i or one but i wanted yeah it was it was just fun to read about oh yeah other people get mad make songs about each other yeah of course yeah i was like i was like oh dave girl had b for courtney love that's that's cool yeah i had that one on my list too i had

that one on my list too yeah the uh i'll stick around yeah yeah like the sex pistols with the new york dolls yeah everybody's beefing well we want to hear yours hit us up at all fantasy pod the I'll stick around. Yeah. Yeah. Like the sex pistols with the New York dolls. Yeah. Everybody's beefing. Well, we want to hear yours. Hit us up at all fantasy pod on Twitter, all fantasy podcast at gmail.com.

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Shout out to Haji Bees. Shout out to Lance Bangs. And more important than all of that, shot to saint sue carmel shot to frankie ocean shot to sid the dude shot to haji bees shot to lance bangs and more important than all of that tune in again next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything no scrubs hell yeah that was a hate gun podcast