All Fantasy Everything - Dynamic Duos (w/ Sean Jordan and David Gborie)

Episode Date: November 9, 2017

The tubular trio gets together to draft dynamic duos! Host Ian Karmel is joined by the other two members of the Good Vibes Gang, Sean Jordan and David Gborie. See Privacy Policy at https://ar...t19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. What did I just say? I said welcome to all... Did I say welcome to a brand new episode? Yeah. Yeah. Well, now that's got to be the start, whatever you just said. You smoke a bunch of peyote on the way here? What a long day.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Yeah, let's make that the beginning. Oh, it's such a long day. What was it? Pink was acting up? I was in. No, not Pink. I had to stay like William H. Macy had to nuzzle a horse. Classic.
Starting point is 00:00:55 All the listeners can relate. We did this thing on the show called Nuzzle What? And I didn't even come up with it. This really funny writer named, welcome to all fantasy everything, by the way. The podcast that had such a long day. a long after a long weekend by the way but so anyway this guy david denine porter who's a very funny comedian god damn yeah the canadian that dude real weirdo real weird love it real weirdo so funny hilarious he came up with this game where people have to like like put on blindfolds and like nuzzle things and figure out what they are.
Starting point is 00:01:28 That's adorable. Yeah, and then he and the show parted ways. And now I have to supervise it. And there's nothing for a writer to do. All the writing was done in coming up with it, which David did. So I just have to stand there and be like, yeah, you should nuzzle it. So I had to stay an extra hour at work to watch that happen. Was it like 2 Chainz nuzzling a pomegranate?
Starting point is 00:01:52 I wish. That I'd fucking watch. 2 Chainz would know what that was, by the way. It was Haley, but he would definitely know. That's a pomegranate. It was an expensive one. That's a pomegranate. That's got pomegranate. That's got
Starting point is 00:02:06 antioxidant. He's probably got a song called Pomegranate, but it's like a thousand dollar pomegranate. Pomegranate. Pomegranate. Yeah. Damn. We could rap. We could rap. I mean, we basically just did, right? We could become, we should just become like a ghostwriting team. That is all I've ever wanted. Wouldn't that be fun?
Starting point is 00:02:22 I don't need the shine. I just need to know in my mind that I did it. But I want to ghost everything. I want to pick out the kids' sneakers. Yeah. I want to be the team that builds the rapper in the lab. Be a ghost rapper. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I'm off to the side, Mr. International Waters or whatever. I just want to play the back. Got your passport printed on your t-shirt? Yeah, nobody no no no you'd be like uh there's that guy in the nba worldwide west whoa who is that that sounds like a slam ball player worldwide west you were watching slam ball the other day yeah we were uh those are their names they're shit like that worldwide west is this dude who's like involved in like basketball somehow and nobody really knows how that's a cool mystery very powerful that's what i want yeah like because
Starting point is 00:03:15 i feel like there's guys like that there's guys like that and stand up you ever go to like a weird like show busy party yeah there's some guy who knows you a little too well, and you don't know what his deal is. No. He just comes up while you're at the free bar like, hey, big fan, and then just like winks and walks away into the night. David, glad you finally showed up, baby. I'll see you around. Hey, hey.
Starting point is 00:03:36 What the fuck are you talking about? I like that bit you're working on at the open mics. What the fuck are you doing? How do you know that? Yeah. He's dressed way too well to be somebody who goes to open mics. He smells like old wood. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Old wood is a good smell. I think that's what a man, the older you get, the older I get, the more I just want to smell like wood. The older the wood you get. Just like cedar? Some old oak? No. Like, I want like a, is ebony a wood?
Starting point is 00:04:02 Is that a color or a wood? I don't know. It's a color. Can you smell like balsa? Ebony's a wood. Ebony's a wood. Ebony's a wood. Yeah that a color or a wood? I don't know. It's a color. Can you smell like balsa? Ebony's a wood. Ebony's a wood. Ebony's a wood. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:08 You can smell like balsa. I don't think that's good, too. Isn't that a lightweight wood? I want a heavy wood. You want to smell like oak or a cherry wood? Yeah, cherry wood. I won't even fuck with bacon if it's not cherry wood or apple wood smoked. No, that's true.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Get it off the plated applebees. I want to smell like your grandpa's end table. You want to smell like a library full of books that haven't been opened in a hundred years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oof. Yeah? That first edition stank. Yeah, first edition.
Starting point is 00:04:35 That first edition stank? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the name of your album. You're going to ghostwrite the title to that kid's album, and that's the name of it. Yeah, that's the first mixtape, yeah. I just think it would be, like, couldn't we leverage our abilities into becoming, like, rap ghost writers? I think if we all three combined it,
Starting point is 00:04:48 that's a very, we could win a Grammy. Yeah. We could win, if not a Grammy, we could win a Source Award. Definitely a Source Award. We could definitely win a Source Award.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I know the answer before I ask the question, but I ask for the listeners. Have either one of you ever written a rap song? Yes. What do you think I was doing this entire 30 years?
Starting point is 00:05:05 Of course. So have I. I used to write them in school suspension in like sixth grade. Oh, they all were so bad. Terrible. I still got them. So maybe we couldn't be. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:05:12 But maybe we sat around and we could like. But I listened to so much rap. I thought at some point my bars would get there. I know. By Osmos. And they never did. You know, I was never good at football. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:24 And I watched a lot of football. Same with basketball. I get it. Damn. Well, maybe not. But it was a dream. What do you do? Money good for your health.
Starting point is 00:05:32 That's why I pomegranate it. Yeah. See, he's in it. Here's the thing. It's almost like that was already written. To be able to, like, fuse it into, like, okay, that's what I feel like Cardi B did, right? She knows enough about rap and she had so many songs
Starting point is 00:05:50 that were not that good, and then she just Bodak Yellow, she just like, that's like concentrated power of will. That song is just like, I know enough about rap and what's good that I can jam it together. All these incredible things
Starting point is 00:06:06 and god bless her that song goes it goes so hard because it's a hundred different other songs yeah but yeah she nailed it that's all i want to do sure she captured the zeitgeist i'd love to god to be tight but it's not it's not in my future not Not for today. Not for today. Today. Today. Today we're drafting dynamic duos. Yeah, we are. It's just a three-banger. A three-banger. It's a three-banger. Yep.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Sean Jordan. What's up, Playboy? Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. True story. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Nailed it. Nailed it. What's the latest with you?
Starting point is 00:06:41 Other than watching the slam ball this weekend. Yeah, we watched some slam ball highlights. Is it a tournament situation? Dude, it's like hockey. If you guys haven't heard of slam ball. What the fuck is hockey? It's a lot like slam ball. Shelf slam ball.
Starting point is 00:06:56 Yeah. It's just a table slam ball. Hockey is boring. That's what hockey is. I don't like hockey for anyone out there. Have you ever seen it live, though? No, I'd love it if I saw it live. Yeah, there's fights, and it's just like, it's a good sport to watch.
Starting point is 00:07:11 I don't like fights. It's so... Oh, oh, I'm sorry, sweet baby. You're my only friend who's been to a UFC thing. Yeah, what are you doing? So buck, so buck. They invented fighting in South Dakota. Slam ball at what at Brock Lesnar?
Starting point is 00:07:25 Brock Lesnar is their number one export. Yeah, that's where they started it. Corn. Corn fighting. Corn fighting. That dude's corn fought. Slam ball is like hockey and basketball with trampolines. It's like full contact.
Starting point is 00:07:37 They could smoke each other. I didn't know that. Do they wear helmets? No. No, they wear... It's like the XFL with no pads, kind of. Like super gnarly. But then they're dunking with trampolines.
Starting point is 00:07:47 And they're dunking with trampolines. It doesn't seem rigged. Because I remember when slam ball first started on Spike. Remember when Spike first came out? Yeah. It was like TV for dudes. Pro versus Joes. Yeah, and I was like, I'm a dude.
Starting point is 00:08:00 I love it. I'm 15. I remember on an episode, they had the road to slam ball when all the guys were trying out for slam ball. And the one guy landed all cattywampus and ripped his foot off. You know what I mean? They picked it up and his foot fell off his ankle. Full Gordon Hayward. Yeah, full on.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Dude, you're with a bunch of Goliaths playing on trampolines and they want to hit you. Of course that's going to happen. It seems dangerous. I couldn't have done slam ball because I'm more of a low post technician. Right. I can find you down there. I like to take people down to the low post
Starting point is 00:08:32 and put them in the torture rack. Unleash a dizzying array of post moves. Make them pay for it. Yeah. Make them pay for it. Yeah, yeah. Don't come down here again. Could you do that in slam ball?
Starting point is 00:08:38 Just kind of get like a little bunny hop going. Just short hops. Short hops back and down. Right on the bottom of the trampoline. Just like fake jumping. Just perfect fundamentals. You're just down there squatted. I'll fucking jump.
Starting point is 00:08:50 You don't think I'll jump? I'll jump. I'll fucking go. God. I'll fucking jump. No, they didn't think that far ahead. No. That's what I did.
Starting point is 00:08:55 I did that, and I drank about a half bottle of black velvet this weekend. Black velvet. I don't actually know what the rest of the words are in that sentence. With that little boy smile. Yeah. With his strong southern mood. Yeah, that's about how I was singing it. I'm chill.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Yeah. You were. Well, we have a liquor cabinet area at home. I don't touch here. I don't touch it. Well, I know you don't. Well, you should have. You sounded like a kid when dad's away. You guys didn't see me put my hands up. I didn't touch it. I didn you don't. Well, you should have. You sounded like a kid when dad's away.
Starting point is 00:09:25 You guys didn't see me put my hands up. I didn't touch it. I didn't touch it. But, like, you know, we have, like, it's nice liquor for when we have company. Real nice liquor, yeah. And everything. And then I came home from, I was in Portland over the weekend. And I was walking by it.
Starting point is 00:09:39 And, like, there was one of these things that's not like the others. You can just, like, whoa. Something feels weird. There was, like, half a bottle of black velvet over there. I was, like, well, hello. Like, E. like et's trying to hide with a bunch of stuffed animals they're seven bucks this seems to be made of plastic black velvet's seven dollars when i buy i swear when i buy it because i buy one i don't know once every other week at that ralph's that i'm at three times a day and they just look at me like still you? You still? Still not doing well enough? I feel like you can make the jump now.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Jameson's like six bucks more is all. I could. You got it. Yeah. Come on, man. Life's too short to drink shitty booze all the time. I mean, you get like three in and it's not shitty anymore. We just saw Jay-Z in the front row.
Starting point is 00:10:21 How do you think Jay would feel about that? Body's full of caviar. Caviar. Full of caviar burps. Caviar farts. Caviar dreams. Yeah, dude. Caviar dreams.
Starting point is 00:10:32 And then you just go back to black velvet like that never happened? Is that the second mixtape? Caviar dreams? Fried chicken days, caviar nights. Caviar nights. You guys thought Bob Seger was here? We were so close to Jay-Z, we could see how old he is now.
Starting point is 00:10:47 I could see the worry in his face. There's worry in there. You can see the affair. What's going to happen to Rooney and Sir? He's worried about it. Well, he's every day as old as Jay-Z is. 47. Say it.
Starting point is 00:10:59 That was my weekend. You were in Portland. I was in Portland for Kara Baker, my manager, and Matt Bronger. Kara Bronger. Kara Bronger. I don't know what they're doing with the last name. Or Matt Baker. It's 2017.
Starting point is 00:11:12 He should go Matt Baker. Baker Bronger. Matt Baker Bronger is a great name. They could have a kid name it Baker Bronger, boy or girl. It would be Baker Bronger, Baker Bronger. Baker Bronger. Baker Bronger, Baker Bronger, Bronger Baker. Oh,ger. Baker-Bronger, Baker-Bronger, Baker-Bronger. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Baker-Bronger, Baker-Bronger. Tigger Taylor, Soldier Spy. That kid is going to open a candy store. Yeah. Or a law firm alone. Yeah. Yeah. The law office is a Baker-Bronger, Bronger-Baker.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Yeah. Well, four people, it'll feel like it. That's going to be the whole name. I handle my business. I'm a firsty, firsty, firsty, firsty. Great wedding. Yeah, it was beautiful. I mean, it was just the party.
Starting point is 00:11:52 They got married at a courthouse the day before. I don't see how weddings... It was dope. Yeah. How haven't they made it to where all weddings are that yet? Just the party? Just the party. I mean, you hosted a hell of a wedding.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Sometimes people like to see the... They like to see that dude bawling. It's a good cry. It's a good cry. You're like a fucking puzzle. You guys are like a puzzle. Is that what you said? Yeah, I was like screaming it.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Oh, he was chomped hard. You yelled, you're like a puzzle? I couldn't even look at him. You're puzzling. You puzzle me. I don't get it. Anthony Henry, you guys are like a fucking puzzle. I'm a fucking idiot. Then I just did the Philip Seymour Hoppin' thing. I don't get it. Anthony Henry, you guys are like a fucking puzzle. I'm a fucking idiot.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Then I just did the Philip Seymour Hoppin thing. I'm a fucking idiot. Oh, that's adorable. I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah. Anyway. All choked up. It was a great wedding.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. There it is. The Cananiac was there. Oh, man. I bet he was the thin, full Cananiac. I put on a suit. I look great in my second suit.
Starting point is 00:12:45 What color is your second suit? Gray. Yeah. Kind of a wool, like a dark gray. Hot? Is it hot? No, it was cold up in Portland. It's winter in other parts of the country almost now.
Starting point is 00:12:55 I forgot about that. Had the mustache going, you did. Yeah, yeah, still do. Yeah. Yeah, it's coming in. I'm doing it for Movember. Well, that's just the flimsy excuse. Hey, that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Yeah. Yeah, Movember. Maybe I'll do it too. You're already doing it. You were in Pennsylvania this weekend. I was in Happy Valley, Pennsylvania. Jesus, Alan. Were you doing a comedy symposium?
Starting point is 00:13:14 So I did. They had a conference for all these kids in college, like from different colleges all around, and they are all kids who want to be comedians. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And they like, it was really cool, man. Like, they all came in, and for about an hour and a half, just asked me questions about being a comic, and then they had a showcase that was, like,
Starting point is 00:13:35 like a six-hour showcase. All these schools, they had these, like, kids from their stand-up club, from, like, the stand-up club from Ohio State. A stand-up club, whoa. And the stand-up club from Pitt, and, like club from ohio state a stand-up stand-up club from pitt and like all i got to see all these college kids perform and then they had like sketch comedy and then uh it was all nervous he was texting me like i gotta go up after the sketch
Starting point is 00:13:53 comedy group that's killing it well that's because seven hours in they bring in these ringer sketch comics from ucb oh damn fucking pro team osfFUG, I believe. So good. So good. And their whole thing was like, we do 45 minutes, 30 sketches. And they're all like, bing, bang, boom. And fucking hilarious. And these kids have been watching comedy for seven hours. Shit.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Bang, bang, bang. And then they got props and shit. And then afterwards, they're like, and our next comic's name is David Borey. And you know. How did it go? Was it okay? I held a do down. It was ally. And, you know. How did it go? Did it go okay? I held it down.
Starting point is 00:14:27 It was all right. Dude, seven hours into anything, I don't want to see anything. No way. Yeah, and then I had to do a 45 after I haven't done a 45 in like a month and a half. You did a 45 after 45 minutes? After seven hours, but then like after the ringers. Yeah, then. And like there was this one girl, and I wish I could remember her name.
Starting point is 00:14:44 She was so funny. She went up like two hours before me just murdering. I was like, what am I doing here? And then I tried to go to a college party, got into the basement, was like, hey, guys, I got to go because I'm 30. Whoa. You neglected to mention that in the text. No, this was after.
Starting point is 00:15:00 This was after. That was you texting me right before I went up. Man, that sounds. Because all the kids were like, oh, are you going to come to the party? That'd be cool. And I was like, yeah, I like parties. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And I went there, and it was just this big house.
Starting point is 00:15:12 And I was already like, I don't know. And then I got in the basement, and it was like green and blue lighting. And the one kid I had been talking to a lot was like, I'm going to bail because I was not invited to this. And he left. And then, yeah, it was just like in a basement where i was not invited to this and he left and then uh yeah it was just like in a basement where there was a bar full of empty bottles like 100 empty bottles yeah college empty bottles fuck like just all captain morgan and shit and then we need to drink all of it 10 to 12 late teen early 20 kids sitting directly next to each other under a blue light.
Starting point is 00:15:45 I was just like, you know what? I'm 30. I gotta go. Yeah, I can't be doing this. College kids are so young. I didn't realize it. And then I was on that campus and I was like, oh no, you guys are all your kids. They're children. Your little babies. They were all born in 1999.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Who's giving you beers? Crazy shit like that. That's fucking insane to think about. Little Prince babies. Man. Yeah. Well, you know, good for them. They got the world in front of them.
Starting point is 00:16:11 What do we got coming up? Anything to plug? I'll be in Denver with Kyle Kinane first week in December, and then I'll be with you at the Revolution Hall December 22nd. Did you see they put up a poster? I have to give a shout out and all the fantasy everything listener made me aware it made me aware of it let me give him a shout out here hold on one second it's so funny uh the venue put up a poster that said his name on is uh elect electro rega
Starting point is 00:16:39 hell yeah shout out to you electro and uh oh his his name is Rigo Hinojosa. Man, that's a cool name. That is a cool fucking name. That's his real name? Way better than Sean Jordan. Come on, don't do that to yourself. There's nothing wrong with Sean Jordan. We don't need to put you down to big him up. You know, he's got a good name.
Starting point is 00:16:56 You can both be cool. Yeah. That's all I've been looking for all day. Thank you. We got you, man. But he told me that Revolution Hall put up posters all over Portland where it says, I am Carmel. I-A-M. That's what that was?
Starting point is 00:17:10 I am. I saw that. You didn't see it? Yeah. Holy shit. I am Carmel. Like you are number four? A variety of factors.
Starting point is 00:17:19 So many things. I am from Portland, Oregon. All right? And I did stand up there. I wrote for the newspaper. You have a, and I did stand up there. I wrote for like the newspaper. You have a sandwich. I've had several sandwiches. Several.
Starting point is 00:17:29 That's one thing. Two, it's like a big venue. It's a professional show. Uh-huh. You'd think they'd look into it and like, you know, mind their P's and Q's. Three, no one's named I.M. That's not anyone's name. Except for Will.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Yeah, Will.i.am.. That's not anyone's name. I am. Except for Will. Yeah, Will I am. And even that is spelled real suspect. Did they think my name was William and I was like throwing off 2,000 years of how people went by Will for short and instead just going by I am? I go by I am. I am Carmel.
Starting point is 00:17:58 And the last thing is, I did a show there last year. Same venue. True story. Did they think there was a different carmel it has to go through so many it's crazy different like it had to go to the print shop you don't think anybody at the print shop was like are you sure this kid's name isn't i am i am now i'm saying i am i am awesome i am i am carmel i didn't know that's what that meant. That's fucking crazy. I am, dude, yeah. Like the cat food brand. This is my boy, I am.
Starting point is 00:18:27 I thought it was Meowmix. Meowmix. Meowmix Carmel. So, but yeah, December 22nd will be at Revolution Hall. Copy your tickets now. Still some available. And once they fix the poster
Starting point is 00:18:41 and it says Ian, people know who's actually doing the show. Going to be golden. They might get snapped up. Yeah. So I'm doing that, and then I'll be at the Come and Take It Festival in Houston, Texas. Yay, yay.
Starting point is 00:18:52 On the 17th, 18th of November. Dave, what about you? 17th, 18th of November, I will be at The Blue Room in Springfield, Missouri. Also that Friday night, I'm going to take off early, go to Branson. Oh, really? Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I'm going to keep 30, going to make a Branson run.
Starting point is 00:19:13 But yeah, so I'm going to be at that comedy club. If you are savvy and around and you watch my social media, I'll be around San Francisco this weekend, popping in, doing sets here and there. Go watch them. Go support. Go laugh. It's for something cool. I think it's January 22nd I'm going to be at the Des Moines, Iowa
Starting point is 00:19:36 Funny Bowl. Co-headlining with Becky Robinson. Oh, we love Becky. Yeah, it could be. I think it's I've been there before. Opening up for the Catan man. And now baby's back on his own. Yep. Yep. Yeah, good
Starting point is 00:19:51 tater tots. Des Moines Funny Bone. I've been there. I like that club. I like that club. I like that hotel. Sure. Yeah, it's a fun weekend. I can't remember if I've been to Des Moines. You did. You did a comedy festival there last year. Yeah, okay, I've been to Des Moines. Is that Beast Village? Did you do Beast Village? Yeah, You did a comedy festival. Yeah, okay. I've been to Des Moines. Is that Beast Village? Did you do Beast Village?
Starting point is 00:20:07 Yeah, I did do Beast Village. Yeah, shout out to Lee Keeler and them. Because Enrico texted me. He's like, Ian got hammered this weekend. Well, I was in Des Moines. He's in Des Moines. Yeah. That's exactly what I said.
Starting point is 00:20:16 I was like, he was in Des Moines, dude. Yeah. Right with you. I'm for sure going to get hammered in Des Moines. Yeah, you have to. What else is there to do in Des Moines? I'm going to get Becky Robinson hammered in Des Moines. She'll do it. I think she parties. She parties. She parties. She's always fun. What was Enrico not doing do in Des Moines? I'm going to get Becky Robinson hammered in Des Moines. She'll do it. I think she parties.
Starting point is 00:20:25 She parties. She parties. She's always fun. What was Noriko not doing? Does he not drink? I don't know. He might have been, but I don't know. Some people don't do it like we do.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Yeah, yeah, we do it. Today we are drafting dynamic to us and alcohol. That's the dynamic duo. Yeah. Look at this transition. Look at this guy. That's what we're drafting today, and we determined the draft order with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Look at me when you do it.
Starting point is 00:20:48 I'm doing it up now. You guys can't see. I'm shooting it up. I used to shoot down. I'm changing the game. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Whoa! They both threw up and they both threw paper.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Which is weird. Sean kind of hiled Hitler a little bit on this. It was cocked. It was cocked. It was a light Hitler hile. That was definitely an acute angle. It was more like a hey. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:21:14 I think it was a hile. So we're going to run it back again. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. All right. That's a black power. That was a black power. You redeemed yourself. John Carlos and Tommy, what are their names? Anyway, here, shoot. All right. That's a black power. That was a black power. You redeemed yourself.
Starting point is 00:21:25 John Carlos and Tommy, what are their names? Anyway, here we go. Round three. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, boy. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Shit. I threw up the peace sign.
Starting point is 00:21:37 He threw up the peace sign. Yeah, because he didn't want it no more. That's a fun new way to play rock, paper, scissors. David went by any means necessary. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I always do. So you determine the order of the draft, David. Okay. And what type of draft is it? Oh, that's a fun new way to play rock, paper, scissors. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I always do. So you determine the order of the draft, David.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Okay. And what type of draft is it? Oh, that's a great question. It's a serpentine draft. Serpentine. Yeah. Like a metronome. Just kind of back and forth, you know?
Starting point is 00:21:54 And if for the dummies listening who don't know what a metronome is. Watch seven. And for the dummies who still don't know what you're talking about. Don't watch seven anymore, dude. I watch eight. How about that? What happened to seven? Kevin Spacey. what you're talking about. Don't watch Seven anymore, dude. I watch Eight. How about that? What happened to Seven? Kevin Spacey.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't watch Seven. Was he in Seven? Yeah, Metronome is a TikTok mechanism that goes back and forth, sort of like a Serpentine draft. Yeah, don't watch Seven. If you haven't seen it, then you're never going to know. But watch Six from Blossom.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Yeah. Keep an eye on her. Still good. Thriving. Keep an eye on Six. I tweeted at her once years ago. She favorited me, and I had less than 1,000 followers. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Jennifer Noe? Yeah, Jennifer Noe. Jennifer Noe. Also, she was on that show, The Parkers, with Monique. A lot of people forget that. Was she? Yeah. I think her name was Frankie.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Some people never knew that. Well, you know. Some people have never lived. Some people have never loved. Oh, I've lived. I'm going to pick the order. Yeah. I'm going name was Frankie. Some people never knew that. Well, you know, some people have never lived. Some people have never loved. Oh, I've lived. I'm going to pick the order. Yeah. I'm going to go me.
Starting point is 00:22:49 I'm going to go Ian. I'm going to go Sean. Yeah. There's only three of us. There's not. I know. It's so funny because now that we're down to three, I forgot how simple it is with the serpentine.
Starting point is 00:23:00 It really is. People earnestly don't know most of the time. Yeah. But now it's just like, oh, it's real easy. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. And I'm gonna go first. Alright. And what's the first pick of the dynamic duo draft? I'm picking some may say
Starting point is 00:23:14 the most dynamic duo of all time. Oh, who's gonna pick? The push and pull. The reason we're here. The reason we gotta figure out this whole crazy mess of the world. Are you doing it? I'm picking good and evil. Whoa! Good and evil! Oh, shit! Coming out of the gate! Good and evil!
Starting point is 00:23:30 Good and evil! I thought you were going somewhere else, but that's pretty. That's legit. Good and evil. What a better, what a more dynamic, interesting duo than good and evil. And then, hand in hand, sometimes I can't tell the difference.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Oh, sometimes. Yeah. They hide in each other. They hide in each other. Like a pair of beautiful German lovers. Freely exchanging between top and bottom. Yeah. Who knows? What's right? What's wrong anymore? And what may seem evil now could be good
Starting point is 00:24:04 in the long run. Sure. What's bad in the dark could be good in what may seem evil now could be good in the long run. Sure. What's bad in the dark could be good in the light. Like re-breaking a bone to set it. Yeah. Exactly. Dude, my friend Mike was in the ER one time with a broken wrist. And he said, he's like, I looked up and the doctor kind of looked over his shoulders.
Starting point is 00:24:19 So he looked over Mike's shoulders and nodded his head twice. And then Mike, these two huge nurses came up and grabbed him and the doctor just snapped his wrist. The doctor was just looking at him and just broke his wrist right in half. I don't know if that's good or evil, but I feel it. It's good ultimately. It's evil in the moment, but it's good in the long run. That's what I'm saying. I think good and evil
Starting point is 00:24:39 is about as good. It's the most dynamic of the duos. It's a big duo. It's the biggest. of the duos. It's a big duo. It's the biggest. You can't have one without the other. You can't. There's no such thing. No.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Love and marriage. Yeah. That's an institute you can't disparage. Ask the local gentry. I'll tell you. Is that the words to that? Ask the local gentry. They would say it's Ella.
Starting point is 00:25:05 Man tree. I forgot about that verse. That was say it's Ella. Mantry. I forgot about that verse. That was the remix. Okay. Okay. If forced to pick between the two, would you pick good or evil? Man. See, it's tricky.
Starting point is 00:25:16 I would love to say good. Yeah. But a lot of my favorite things that I love tend to be evil. Like light evil. Yeah. I'm a big Jafar guy. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Jafar with that prince ass facial to be evil. Like light evil. Yeah. I'm a big Jafar guy. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:25:27 Jafar with that prince-ass facial hair. Yeah. Or like Scar. I always felt like I liked Scar because I think Scar was more autistic. Artistic. I feel like Scar was more autistic than Mufasa. Like over you, Scar was an incredible painter. Oh.
Starting point is 00:25:46 He could dance. Scar should have poured himself into that, though. What song? You know, he didn't know. I don't know why he had political aspirations. It was Africa in the 1500s, I assume. I don't know the years. Yeah, what year did Lion King take place?
Starting point is 00:25:57 There was no electricity. It's in the future, actually. That's why they don't say. What if it was? What if it's 2028? Later in the movie, they found, like, a crashed spaceship. Yeah, then it all. That's what the elephant graveyard was. Yeah. What if it was? What if it's 2028? Dude, later in the movie, they found like a crashed spaceship. Yeah. That's what the elephant graveyard was.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Yeah. What if it was like- Well, where the fuck did Rafiki come from? He wasn't born on this planet. No, he was from space. Yeah. Yeah. That dude.
Starting point is 00:26:15 He was from the planet of the apes. The whole- He crash landed. Because we don't know if it's in Africa. Asante sana squash banana. Those are coordinates. Those are coordinates to another earth. He came here because he
Starting point is 00:26:28 heard an outcast song and he decided this is the one. Asante sana squash banana. Those are coordinates. It is time. Rafiki was an artist, dude. Rafiki was like the fucking only artist in that area and honestly he wasn't great.
Starting point is 00:26:44 I think that Scar could have been He just you know Product of his environment He was hanging out with the hyenas Who knows what happened when they were kids Are you sticking up for Scar? I don't know if I can get behind it at all I think that had it shaken out differently
Starting point is 00:26:59 And I do think Mufasa was kind of arrogant I do Mufasa was all big and jocked out. He never reached a hand out to Scar. The tone, my friend. No, I'm real about it. This is my real tone. This is my real Mufasa tone.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Mufasa was arrogant. He was arrogant. I get that. If you were Scar, and Scar, lightweight, more handsome. Well, no. I mean, they're different. Mufasa's more regal. David, you're going's more regal okay okay who do you want to fuck michael strahan or johnny depp you're going farther into the forest my friend fair point that is a fair point that's a fair point who do you want to fuck i'd rather
Starting point is 00:27:35 fuck johnny depp exactly people don't come back from where you're going into the forest my friend listen i live in the forest now i'm eating bugs with timon and pumbaa raising mufasa's offspring who didn't want to live there that's the real life is living with timon and pumbaa were they gay i read uh timon and pumbaa yeah i read something online the other day that uh there's like a fan theory that they were gay it wouldn't change anything about i mean not like well it's just it's just something that i stumbled upon not like it would matter in the they might as well be i also i've never seen the baba duke but i also recently saw a rumor anything about that. I mean, not like, well, it's just something that I stumbled upon, not like it would matter in the slightest. They might as well be.
Starting point is 00:28:05 I've never seen the Babadook, but I also recently saw a rumor that the Babadook was gay, and I'm cool with all that. I think gay people should claim all the characters they want.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Yeah, take it back. Robocop was gay. Oh, it was... Sometimes I claim shit for African people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm throwing Jew on all sorts of crazy shit.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Yeah, throw it on top. You know, applesauce was invented by the Jews. Absolutely, 100%. Yeah, Sierra Leoneans invented peanut butter. Sure. Prove us wrong. Irish invented whiskey.
Starting point is 00:28:30 The Irish invented whiskey? We all know. That's all we care about. We had the one invention where everybody else can have everything else. Might have been the Scots. Yeah, it could have been that. Might have been the Scots. They've been debating for years.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Long bloody debate, my friend. Scots whiskey. Right? Irish whiskey. There's both. There's both. Yeah, yeah could have been that They've been debating for years Long bloody debate, my friend Irish whiskey There's both Do they make it out of potatoes? I forget We make everything out of potatoes Is it potato whiskey? I thought it was potato vodka
Starting point is 00:28:59 It is, so I don't know I feel like the Irish couldn't have invented it He's digging, he's trying to get at me He's trying to get at me here. He's trying to crawl under my skin. The Jews invented anti-Irish jokes. Yes. And wine.
Starting point is 00:29:10 The Irish aren't known for their humor. We invented wine. We invented rocks. Before Jews, there were no rocks. Also health insurance. Health insurance. Actually, that was the Dutch I heard. It was a Dutch Jew.
Starting point is 00:29:23 A Dutch Jew. Wings. They used to call them Mountain Dews, the Dutch Jews. Liquid? It was solid. There was solid gas. And then we were like, can't we find something in between? And then the Jews came around and there was some liquid.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Surely there must be something in between. But we had these matzo balls. We had to put them in something. So broth was actually the first liquid. Story checks out. Yeah, it all makes sense. It all makes sense. Do your Googles, eat your Kugels. It's in the Torah. I Story checks out. Yeah, it all makes sense. It all makes sense. Do your Googles,
Starting point is 00:29:46 eat your Kugels. It's in the Torah. I read that sometimes. Yeah. I'll just come home and you got the scrolls out. Yeah, yeah. You don't read the book version.
Starting point is 00:29:52 You got like big scrolls. That's what I like is the scrolls. Yeah, it's like a good half hour night I'm in there. Why don't we we should make scrolls
Starting point is 00:30:00 the next thing. That would be so cool. Just on a plane. Yeah. Like in the middle seat like excuse me I have to read Sports Illustrated. Because you get to do that fun little hand, like unfurl, unfurl, unfurl, unfurl. And you look so smart, like pouring over a scroll. Pouring, you pour over scrolls.
Starting point is 00:30:16 You read books. Can you imagine handing a scroll? Because if you ever see me read a book, I look like a dummy. Yeah. I got like my shirt off and it's like right up next to my face and I'm sweaty. You're just on the plane reading Maxim on a scroll? Yeah. Go have a meeting.
Starting point is 00:30:28 That's classy. And hand him a scroll. Hey, do you have a spec script or anything? I do. And you just give him a quiver full of scrolls. A quiver of scrolls. A quiver of scrolls. A quiver of scrolls.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Just have them be like, I expect this quiver of scrolls to come back to me the way that I gave it to you. I only have one scroll of each. On the Road was originally written on scrolls. It was. You know, one of those books that I've read. One scroll. Have you?
Starting point is 00:30:50 A couple times. Really? A couple times. You always say you've never read books. You're dropping that hard American heat. I used to think it made you look cool when you were reading On the Road. It does make you look cool.
Starting point is 00:31:00 I'd read it right out there in front of God and everyone. Go to a Starbucks and read a little bit of it. Wait, how old were you when you did this? Don't say 34. Don't say 34. Oh, that's not bad. 26. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:12 27. 32. Would you say, do you find the book to be good or evil? That's the question. Good, man. Good. Get out there. Live life.
Starting point is 00:31:22 That's a good thing. It's not an evil thing to get out there and be broke. What about drugs? Do drugs. Figure it out. Don't get addicted to drugs and die. Yeah. Love people.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Have sex. Go for it. But that could turn evil. No. Don't stop. It's not a fucking... It's a good book. I'm just saying that the duality, good and evil, it's hard to tell.
Starting point is 00:31:40 And that's why it's the greatest combo of all time. You know who like like in beauty and the beast like gaston's bad he's definitely like a but the beast is way worse right well he trapped her transfer he transforms that's stockholm syndrome the movie that's stockholm and there's some other hell yeah also i mean all those people who were living in his house that got turned into appliances and shit, that's fucking evil. How come only Bella has the opportunity to pursue a life of happiness? Because she's a hot young woman, which is creepy to him. The clocks, you know, the teacup.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Chip was a child. Chip was a little boy that he turned into a teacup. And he was happy about it. He was happy. He kept a good head on his shoulders. He didn't have time to lose that wonder. He was just turned into a teacup. Yeah. A young, young child. And he was happy about it. He was happy. He kept a good head on his shoulders. He didn't have time to lose that wonder. He, you know, he was just turned into a teacup. And he's, well, this is what he's done.
Starting point is 00:32:29 I understand why Gaston wanted to smoke that fool. Yeah. Chip was his nephew. That's my nephew. Yeah. Gaston was problematic as fuck. But. Gaston was a rough one.
Starting point is 00:32:39 You know. But so was the Beast. Yeah. Good and evil. We can't tell. Yeah. I can't call it. Good.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Good job, my friend. Excellent first pick. It's time for me to make my first Yeah. Good and evil. We can't tell. Yeah. I can't call it. Good job, my friend. Excellent first pick. It's time for me to make my first pick. Yes, sir. Now, I appreciate good and evil. I appreciate going out of the box. I actually, I do. No, it's just funny because it went out so hard right out of the gate.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Just fucking leaped out of the box. I haven't hopped it. I haven't hopped out crazy in a minute. I had to let him know I still got ups. You know what I mean? You're still up there. I'm still dunking. I mean, when you picked that, it felt like I achieved a whole order of presidential.
Starting point is 00:33:13 My heart was beating so damn fast. Which is why I have to take something you mentioned briefly. Uh-oh. Oh, shit. I'm trying not to say those. You really stepped on some hard toes on that one. I didn't mean to. What did I do?
Starting point is 00:33:23 You mentioned OutKast. Oh, baby. You know, right when I that one. I didn't mean to. What did I do? You mentioned Outkast. Oh, baby. You know, right when I said that, I was like, fuck. Because I thought it'd be a funny joke, but I was like, I knew today, right when we landed on this, I'm like, I'm- Outkast. Yeah. Of course.
Starting point is 00:33:37 The player and the poet. Andre 3000. Big boy. The player and the poet. I was, even before I started thinking about- You and I. Aquem and I. It's my favorite. It's how I, I mean, it's what really made me fall in love with rap sure and then also i just
Starting point is 00:33:50 think with the greatest rap duo of all time uh-huh yeah you could say eric b and rakim no but there wasn't oh well i shouldn't have mentioned them but like i mean what there's other deals other ones too as far as the differences of person, like, as far as, like, the complementary personalities, though. They go together so well. I feel like all of the rap duos are kind of like two dudes who are similar. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, Eric and Rakim are kind of like similar.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Oh, yeah. Right, and that makes sense because you came from the same neighborhood. They're just like, we're both little boys. Yeah. But, like, those were two very different dudes. Very different. One of them wore shoulder pads, you know, on an extremely regular basis. He met a gypsy. Yeah. She hit him with some life game. It's not a big deal. Activate, simulate the left
Starting point is 00:34:30 right brain. I'll do it again. I'll do it on a previous podcast. I'll do it again. It's been done. I like every time you do it, I like it. I probably told this story. We got pulled over in Smith's car with one working light in the car and it was on the dashboard because we were listening to Bombs Over Baghdad so loud that all the lights in the car, and it was on the dashboard because we were listening to Bombs Over Baghdad so loud that all the lights in the car, all of them, at night, every single light in the car was just out. It just shook all the lights off? All of them.
Starting point is 00:34:52 All of them. It used up so much power. I don't know what happened, but all the lights turned off except for one light on the dash. Yeah. And we got pulled over, and Smith still was like,
Starting point is 00:35:00 what the hell? To the car. One light. That song is, in all fairness, I remember that my cousin showed me that song after school one day, and I was just like, what the hell? To the car. One light. That song is, in all fairness, I remember that my cousin showed me that song after school one day. And I was just like, what? It was crazy. I saw the video and I was just like, what is this? It was crazy.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Even the way the song starts is just like, one, two, one, two, three. Ah! I wonder if anybody just jumped a little bit. Like anyone listening, I bet somebody jumped a little bit. I hope they crashed the car. That's on them for not knowing how bombs over Baghdad are. You should have known what this was. You set it up.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Let's go home and wake Zach up after this like that. We'll move the Sonos to like right outside his room. I feel like Zach wakes up crazy. Yeah. We'll walk in there. He'll be hanging upside down like a bat. I'm saying, I bet you he just sits there and puts a sock in his mouth and screams Allie while lifting free weights.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Yeah. So none of us can hear it. Oh, man. I heard he made some Skyline chili over the weekend. Oh, you ever had this? Is that the chili from the sky? It's a big Ohio thing. I remember the follow through on it.
Starting point is 00:36:14 I feel like when you started talking, your brain was like, no, I know where I'm going. I got something to say. I have heard of it, and then I realized I don't remember where I had heard it. I've heard somebody talk about Skyline Chili, but I didn't remember. It's that Cincinnati shit. Is that the chili from the sky? They put it on spaghetti.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Yeah, you put it on spaghetti, man. Oh, yeah, I have heard of that. I don't like that. With shredded cheese, I bet you would, though. Man, here's the thing, man. I just, I'm sorry for everybody out there listening, but I just know what it's going to do to my guts. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Well, it did it. Yeah. It did it to your guts. You can't just be eating chili spaghetti like you're going to live forever. Grow up, Peter Pan. You know what's wild about all that food, like Skyline Chili and Wisconsin with the cheese and everything? These are cold weather states.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Everyone's confined to small indoor areas. Yeah. So why are you eating this gross shit when it's like you can't even open a window? You know what I think part of it is? I don't know. I don't know. When it's really cold, though, there's nothing like sitting down on a hot throne. I see what you mean.
Starting point is 00:37:20 And just cooking up a remix. Just have like a hot ass. You know what I'm talking about like when it's like really cold and your bathroom is super hot yeah and you just go in there
Starting point is 00:37:29 for a minute and just really I do love how hot bathrooms get I mean other than other than going in there and making a mess but like such a small room
Starting point is 00:37:38 cranking out a hot one in the cold is it's up it was one of my dynamic duos you're saying that taking a hot shit in cold weather makes you it doesn't make i don't i don't think that you i don't know that i think that you're listening to my words and you're playing me for a chump and you're not paying
Starting point is 00:37:55 attention to what i'm saying because if you think about it you love it as well i don't know that i do crank it a good deuce in a hot bathroom Like, you know when you go to an old person's house and it's unseasonably warm and they have that like mushy toilet seat? Yeah, what is that mushy toilet seat? I don't know where you get it. You have to be over 60. Will you get a fluffy toilet seat cover?
Starting point is 00:38:15 Yeah. Those poop, those ones that go like, but I'm saying, think about how good, and you were out all day in the snow, shoveling or skating. I don't know what the fuck you do. I never put like a poop in there with that i'd like you did a warm place you've never combined the thoughts because you're
Starting point is 00:38:31 not a revolutionary i'm just saying it's good yeah i'm sure i got i feel like we got hung up on a cold day no i mean that would explain it it's good feeling. We're looking for answers to these mysteries. I remember, I remember like- You gotta write something in the answer line. I remember during football, like, you know the end of football season when it's so cold at practice? It hurts. Breathing hurts. Yeah, like sometimes it would be so cold that we would have to practice in the gym, but then we'd still go outside to condition.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Yeah. Like to run sprints. I remember on those days, just, you had been cold all fucking day. All day you had been cold. And then you finish football practice. You don't even want to take a shower because you're just like, I'm going to take a shower at home. And then you fucking, you go, you have your first dinner, because that was what we would
Starting point is 00:39:20 do. We would have first dinner on the way home. And then you just go downstairs. You turn on the shower. And you just sit there. And you crank one out in the hot, hot bathroom. Your muscles are just relaxing. You just are like, it's like meditation. Your third eye is opening.
Starting point is 00:39:39 And that's gross to say, but that's what I meant it. You're such a salesman that I almost agree with you. David, I never once, I mean, I probably have done that, but I never realized. What, next time you go home? Next time you go home, when you go home over the winter, you don't have to... I'm not... When you go home, just do it. I'm sure I've done it quite a bit.
Starting point is 00:39:57 You text me during. I'm not going to. Why wouldn't you? Because I'm modest. You go and text someone while you're shitting? No, I do it all the time. I texted you while I was shitting. Easy, boys boys that's basically the only time i point guns at each other there's no there's no fourth wheel for us to take it out on
Starting point is 00:40:16 no you know what's crazy is at work sometimes, I'll hear dudes talking on the phone while they're shitting, and I'm like, come on, man. Well, that I can't. I flush the toilet a bunch when that's happening. I'm just like, you know, let's get around them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's wild.
Starting point is 00:40:34 Are you in the bathroom? No, baby. If I found out someone was talking to me while they were shitting, I would get grossed out and think less of them. That'd be a bummer. I heard, and this is not, I didn't say this, but I did hear the funniest conversation when somebody was pooping.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Yeah. I might have said this on the podcast before. I was at the Punchline San Francisco, the comedy club there, and I was taking a pee, and I heard this dude on the toilet. He was like, I heard this dude talking on the toilet. It was just him and me in the bathroom, and he was like, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:04 You know, I'm just at this little comedy show, whatever, whatever. And then he goes, uh-huh. Damn, Arby's. And then he says, I swear to God, he says, you ate again, bitch? While he's thinking of shit? It was like one of the funniest things I ever heard. I was like, and I went outside, and all I could think was like, who is this dude? What are the rules that he's living his life by?
Starting point is 00:41:34 Damn, Arby's. Yeah. You ate a kid, bitch? It was crazy. That dude, it was crazy. That dude's got himself a rider. It's just like the way that the conversation went. Like, yeah, you know, I'm just at this little comedy show.
Starting point is 00:41:49 It's smooth as fuck. Arby's. It's over here, this little comedy show, you know, you know. Ain't nothing. Yeah, that was a good day, man. Arby's. That is way, I just let that damn bitch you ate again. Yeah, Arby's.
Starting point is 00:42:04 That's crazy. You ate again, bitch you ate again? Arby's. That's crazy. You ate again, bitch? That should be a new commercial. It should. He should, man. Yeah. I'm friends with him on Facebook. Never hit him up about it.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Because he's another Bay. He's an Oakland comic. Never hit him up about it. Yeah. No, I do. I want to know how he lives his life. I don't. It's like a whole other set of rules.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Did there have to be a follow-up conversation about it? I had to leave because I was like, I had to leave because when he said it, I was like, like I was just like farting out of my,
Starting point is 00:42:31 you know what I mean? Like he was just doing it and I had to get out of that. You can't just stay in there laughing at him. Yeah, outcast. Yeah, outcast. Outcast.
Starting point is 00:42:40 Great combo. Great combo. I'll tell you how we got there. We were talking about outcasts. Skyline Chili did this to us. Yeah. The only other people, like, I mean, with Phife and Q-Tip. Sure.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Kind of had that dynamic, but they weren't a duo. I don't think they were as extreme, though. No. Yeah, they did have a lot more in common with each other. Because Andre 3000 was just so out in the fucking ether. Well, more with the part that Outcast was like specifically a duo. It was just them. In Tribe there were four of them. It's like they were
Starting point is 00:43:11 the duo but there was also other people that were in there. Right. But I just mean that dynamic between the two of them. Right. It was very I also feel like Outcast were so far away. They were so different than each other that you knew they had to be friends because they were friends. Otherwise, they never would have
Starting point is 00:43:28 found each other. Yeah. He's just like, Andre, that's just my best friend. Big boy, that's just my best friend. I wonder if they'll ever make music together again. I bet you they still hang out, though. They must still hang out. I've never felt like they don't like each other or whatever.
Starting point is 00:43:43 God, what a fun, yeah, what a cool thing. OutKast, that's my first pick. Sean, it's time for your first and second pick. I'm going pretty serious on my first pick. I'm going to pick Robert De Niro and a one Joseph Pesci. Oh. For a dynamic duo. Specifically which one?
Starting point is 00:44:03 I mean, I'm going Goodfellas and I'm going Casino. Both those I'm taking. Just those two together. I mean, you could go Raging Bull if you wanted to. If I had to pick one, I'm saying Casino. Yeah. Classic big guy, little guy energy. Damn near my favorite movie.
Starting point is 00:44:17 It's, ooh, it's especially after just recently being in Vegas. I watched a little bit of it the other night. Oh, that's right. That's right. Holy shit. It's so much tighter when you were just there. You're like, fuck. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:27 I haven't seen Casino in like a decade. We might have to watch that. I watch it. I don't watch it often at all. No. Not as much as Goodfellas for sure. No, Goodfellas I see like once, twice a year. See, I like Casino so much more.
Starting point is 00:44:37 I don't know why. Really? Yeah, I don't know why. I just like it so much more. Is it because it's not narrated? It's kind of narrated. I mean, it's not as much, but De Niro narrates a little bit. It's like the same.
Starting point is 00:44:48 It's almost the same movie. They're doing another movie together, you know. Yeah, I do. Is it the comedian two? Scorsese, they're doing the comedian two. They're doing a new Fockers reboot. Are you fucking with me? No, I'm fucking with you.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Are you fucking with me? That's what it's called. Are you fucking with me? No, I'm fucking with you. Are you fucking with me? That's what it's called. Are you fucking with me? Shut the fuck up. Fuck you, you piece of shit. The Irishman is an upcoming American biographical crime film directed by Martin Scorsese.
Starting point is 00:45:16 Yep. And it's got De Niro, Pesci's in it, I think, right? Am I fucking around? No, I thought he was. It's about the Irish mob? This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35.
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Starting point is 00:52:15 love yeah scorsese can just like paint by colors these gangster movies at this point that'll be great that movie's gonna be incredible what do do you think he'd, I mean, what was his life growing up? How much do we know about Martin Scorsese? I think he hung out at a cab stand with a dude named Teddy.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Yeah. I don't know, he's a little film nerd so he's probably like, he's not a big fella, right? He just nails all these movies though.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Like, you look at what I imagine the mob gangster life is like and he nails it with every fucking movie. Well, but mobsters, you ever read like
Starting point is 00:52:42 accounts of mobsters and stuff? And they always hate those movies. Really? Yeah. Oh oh bummer well now i hate casino no i'm kidding yeah i read this book called killer by joey v yeah and well he talked about how much he hated the godfather so we didn't talk about goodfellas but he just talked about in general they just didn't like mafia movies because they were like really because that movie didn't get it? Yeah, that movie was really interesting because like... Or the book was really interesting
Starting point is 00:53:08 because the way he explained stuff was like... He explained it like it was a lot more boring. Being a mobster? Yeah, he was like... I bet it was. Yeah, he was like yeah, I would like fly down to Miami and then like tail this guy for a day and then break into his car, choke him out,
Starting point is 00:53:24 throw the piano wire, and then go home. He also said, you know where they made a ton of money in the 60s and 70s? Gay porn. Okay. Really? Because nobody was making it, so they would just make it and sell it at exorbitant rates because it was so deviant.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Sure. Yeah, so they made a ton of money. That makes sense. Yeah, because people were willing to pay for it. Plus, anyone you sell it to, now you got dirt oniant. Sure. Yeah, so they made it tough. That makes sense. Yeah, because people were willing to pay for it. Plus, anyone you sell it to, now you got dirt on them. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, they said they would record them in like a shitty warehouse, which is terrifying,
Starting point is 00:53:53 and they would just go to the gay bars with a box and just like $100 or whatever. Come and get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hot, hot, hot, hot pizza pies. Hot butt. Hot butt. Hot butt. Some of that cold weather hot butt out here.
Starting point is 00:54:05 Some of that cold weather hot butt. It doesn't like a nice little butt in the winter. Joe Pesci, he was a child actor. Was he? And a little child singer. Yeah. That's so crazy to think about. Did he also help found the Four Seasons or something like that?
Starting point is 00:54:17 He was friends with Frankie Valli. Joe Pesci is a legend. He's a legend. He has a lot of... I looked him up the other day because I was watching My Cousin Vinny. Yeah. And Joe Pesci is a legend. He's a legend. He has a lot of... I looked him up the other day because I was watching My Cousin Vinny. Yeah. And Joe Pesci is... He's a legend for sure.
Starting point is 00:54:30 That dude puts some respect on his name. He introduced him to the singer-songwriter Bob Gaudio, which led to the formation of the fourth season. So without Joe Pesci... That's insane. Isn't that fucking wild? And that's just on some other shit. That's not even acting.
Starting point is 00:54:44 That's just some shit he did.'s intense yeah man i i'm a big pesci guy yeah i i love the combo i think that's a perfect combo i think that they i love big guy little guy energy too but he's like a little guy but he's got the heart of a lion that's like little guy little guy because de niro's probably what five aero's huge i had no idea i don't know he's a little de niro's a little guy i don't i don't know i don't think he's i don't think he's big man you are blowing up my spot i had no idea i thought he was as tall as ray leota he's 5 10 is what the internet says how tall is ray leota I'm 5'10". That's what the internet says. 5'10-ish. Ray Liotta is 6 feet tall.
Starting point is 00:55:30 There's not a lot of pictures of him looking okay. Ray Liotta does look bad. Even in those old... Is it because of the acne scars, you think? His eyes, too. He just looks tired. He's got cool-looking eyes, but they're not attractive. They're cool looking.
Starting point is 00:55:46 I don't know. I think they're probably attractive to people who are attracted to dudes. I think he's a handsome guy, right? There's something about him. He's got good old guy hair too. He's got that Reed Richard old guy like white on the side, but still kind of black on top situation.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Then you get a movie like Narc or something. Have you ever seen Narc? He's just got a huge cop goatee. Sometimes he looks like he's carved out of putty. Oh my god. He looks like he's melting. He always looks like it's too hot.
Starting point is 00:56:20 He does. It's just too hot for him. He looks like he knows he's gonna break up with his girlfriend later that day and he's stressed about it but look at young ray leota that dude kissed your girlfriend oh wow he kissed her long and he kept her i mean that's a good picture that's a great picture just google young ray leota yeah listen it's the picture you think it is. Yep. And then Google Ray Liotta, it's too hot. It's every other picture he's ever taken. Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci.
Starting point is 00:56:53 Yeah. Good pick. What's your second pick? Second pick going with Hall and Oates. God damn it. Yes, really. I knew somebody was going to. I knew somebody was going to.
Starting point is 00:57:02 All right. Let me ask you. One of them's brunette. One of them's blonde, right? Fucking hit factory. Which one's which? I don't know. You don't know?
Starting point is 00:57:10 Damn it, Sean. How do they meet? Daryl Hall, John Oates. I don't have to know this shit. You don't have to know. They have the best meeting story. How'd they meet? Daryl Hall, John Oates, both went to Temple, which is in North Philly.
Starting point is 00:57:23 The university, not the Jewish church. But also they are Jewish. Oh, really? No, I made that up. Well, Jews invented music. Okay. So, ipso facto Jewish. De facto Jews.
Starting point is 00:57:38 By the property, the transit of property. Yeah, by the power invested in me, Jewish. The point is, they both went to temple. They were both leaders of their own band. They went to like a concert thing or whatever that they were both on. Was it like a battle of the bands? Something like that. Two rival gangs start bucking shots.
Starting point is 00:57:56 They all run out. They run into the same elevator. That's how they fucking met. Whoa. That's fantastic. Yeah. I learned that because I looked them up because I wanted to do service to the pair. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:10 Listen, I can sing their praises all day. That's doing service to the pair. All right. When the shots bucked off, they were hauling ass into that elevator. You know why also? Hauling oats, why they called it that? They lived together in an apartment, and that's what it said on their mailbox. Really?
Starting point is 00:58:26 Yeah, Hall & Oates. That's just perfect. Of course, that's true. And they don't like being called Hall & Oates. Well, they don't like each other. They like being called Daryl Hall and John Oates. Daryl Hall and John. Oh, yeah, on their Spotify.
Starting point is 00:58:37 That's what it says. Yeah, they said in an interview, he was like, if you look, there's no albums of ours that say Hall & Oates. We never like that. They never ours that say hollow note we never like that they never push that that's just us it rings too much it rings yeah you're hollow notes forever we saw them and it was so tight i'm a bumbershoot just hit after hit dude all of them and then they played they kept teasing you make my dreams come true the whole time really and then it was their second encore. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:59:06 What was their first encore? Maneater? They started with Maneater. Their first encore was not Rich Girl. Was it Rich Girl? I think it was Rich Girl. That's what I want to say. Because they opened with Maneater.
Starting point is 00:59:19 That's how you know you got a fucking hip factory on your hands, when they opened with Maneater. They opened with Maneater. But they did play like an hour of new stuff when we're all like, come on, dudes. I mean, we'll let it ride, but gee, it was such a bummer. I don't want to hear the new stuff. I don't need to. This whole encore thing is a magic trick we've all seen a million times before. It's not magic anymore.
Starting point is 00:59:39 We don't have the sauce in the end. Yeah. Yeah. No, just stay out there and bang the hits out, dog. Play the hits. Just play. Play. What was it? Wait, just stay out there and bang the hits out, dog. Play the hits. Just play, play, what was,
Starting point is 00:59:48 wait, which one was it that they did? Well, they closed with Make My Dreams Come True, which actually, good and evil, because that was
Starting point is 00:59:55 Nicole and my song. Nicole! And she made My Dreams Come True for a while when she was good and then she took a big poop all over him.
Starting point is 01:00:01 She turned out to be a man eater. She didn't make, she did use you up! You should have watched out, boy! You should have been like, and then she took a big poop all over him. She turned out to be a man eater. She did use you up. You should have watched out, boy. You should have been like, I can't go for that. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:00:15 She's gone. Man, they really do. She's gone. They really do hit you. Dude. Right there. Oh, my mom, too, back in the day. I was telling her we went and saw.
Starting point is 01:00:25 It's me and you, right? Went and saw Hall & Oates. I did not see Hall & Oates. Oh, shit. Was this a bumbershoot? Yeah. I went and did a show across town because I'm dedicated to the craft of Stan the Tomer. You can put Hall & Oates pretty much anywhere I'm going to them.
Starting point is 01:00:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Told my mom, and she goes, oh, I really like Hall. She doesn't like Oates for some reason. That's the wildest thing I've ever heard. She said it like I was going to be like, oh, yeah, no shit. I like Hall. She doesn't like Oates for some reason. That's the wildest thing I've ever heard. She said it like I was going to be like, oh yeah, no shit. I like Hall. Fuck Oates. Daryl Hall, the blonde one.
Starting point is 01:00:52 I don't like John Oates all that much, but I love Daryl Hall. I like the Hall. Whoa. I like how you threw that in there. The blonde one, by the way. She never explained that, huh? I tried to get her to,
Starting point is 01:01:04 and she it was some she went something wild some some i can't even you know he uh remember he kicks cats i could you know i'll i'll even i'm gonna text you right now i feel like always think that the weirdest things are true yeah oh yeah well yeah just like he loves the devil daryl hall has his own like show called daryl's house, where he has other artists come on and they'll play songs and shit together. It's actually pretty good. Sounds tight.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Daryl, maybe that's what your mom got into. That could be it. That makes sense. She likes his TV show. Does your mom watch a lot of TV? Yeah. Kitchen TV is always on. Yeah, my mom too.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Was it like that? Never done shit to change her kitchen but always seems to need to watch them remodeled she's watching that there's a show now that's 24 hour cops basically it's a it's called live pd or some shit oh i've seen that i don't like live cops no fuck no or it's on a and e it's not 24 hour but it's like just hours of live cops doing commentary yeah it's so yeah i don't like that. Just routine traffic stops. You're like, this is what you're watching? And it's like a lot of dry snitching.
Starting point is 01:02:09 It's just like a lot of ex-cops being like, if I had pulled that 518, I'll tell you what, that would have been a misdemeanor ticket. That's how we do it at the Royal Oaks PD here in Royal Oaks, Arkansas. And you're like, shut the fuck up. Where'd they get this guy? We used to watch, my mom's a, shout out to Saint-Sue Carmel. Saint-Sue Carmel. She's a labor and delivery nurse.
Starting point is 01:02:32 And we used to watch, like, you remember when TLC? I love it. Remember when they did the switch from like, here's a documentary about sharks to all of a sudden it was like reality. Yeah. Shows about hospitals and surgery. I used to watch that ER show constantly. And they would see actual surgery? You liked that?
Starting point is 01:02:49 That shit grossed me out so bad. It's fascinating to me. We would watch it. It would be on at dinner, and I'd have to be like, can we turn that off? You know, I watched my mother give birth to my sister when I was 14. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 01:02:59 What? What? Did you not know that? What? What? Yeah. Yo, that is so crazy. It was gnarly.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Yeah. For sure. That's the gnarliest shit I've ever heard. It's crazy. My mom had a baby when I was 14, too. You know where I was? In a home eating fish sticks. Not my kid.
Starting point is 01:03:19 You watched it happen? My grandma wanted to go in the room. You didn't have to look. My grandma wanted to go in the room, grandma wanted to go in the room and she she wouldn't she was scared so i like held her hand and took her in there and i watched it was crazy we don't need to go off too hard on that i'm not embarrassed about it but no no it's not an embarrassing thing it's just a it's wild you have mental fortitude that's some shit that would happen like outside a conestoga wagon maybe also that shit would on the oregon trail that shit
Starting point is 01:03:43 would fuck me up before there were other rooms yeah yeah you're, that shit would On the Oregon Trail. That shit would fuck me up. Before there were other rooms. Yeah, yeah. Like, you're tough. That shit would fuck, if that happened to me, I would only be able to, like, get off at carnivals or something weird. It was gnarly. That is crazy. That's some old time. Because I feel like back in the day
Starting point is 01:04:00 that shit probably happened a lot, but not in the 90s. You dropped it on me real casual when you told me the first time, too. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, I'd say anything. You know, you guys are my friends. Anyway, yeah, that shit's always been fascinating to me.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Yeah. I like it. I could watch open heart surgery. I tried to watch my friend Nick get open heart surgery. They wouldn't let us. In a different world, do you think you would have been a doctor? You would have been down for that? You'd be a great doctor.
Starting point is 01:04:24 Or do you just... It'd be fun. I feel like your bedside manner would be... They should bring you in like a relief pitcher to just do bedside manner. Yeah. Because some of these doctors have like whack bedside manner. Most of them. The better the doctor, the worse their bedside manner.
Starting point is 01:04:38 You could be like a Patch Adams. Yeah. I bet you if you were in that hospital, John Q wouldn't have gone down like that. No, I would have done everything I could to make John Q not go down like that. Calm down, Mark Wahlberg on the 9-11 plane. If I would have been in that hospital, John wouldn't have even had a Q. He would have just been John. That movie was fucking gnarly.
Starting point is 01:04:59 John Q? Yeah. I haven't seen it. It's intense. John Q in Casino tonight. Hope you're ready. They're long. I don't think that's... They're long. I don't think that's a's intense. John Q and Casino tonight. Hope you're ready. They're long. I don't think that's...
Starting point is 01:05:06 They're my schedule. They're long. I don't think that's a Monday night. And we're going to get Wingstop. Well, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll do it. Yeah, got to get Wingstop. Twist my arm.
Starting point is 01:05:15 So yeah, Hall & Oates. Excellent pick. It's funny. I think it's going to be quicker when there's only three of us. No way. It's going to take longer than ever. No, no, no. My second pick, I's going to take longer than ever. No, no, no. My second pick, I'm going to take, I think, two people we miss in a big way right now.
Starting point is 01:05:30 Oh, shit. President Barack Hussein Obama. Yes. And Vice President Joe Jellybean Biden. Barry Owen Biden, dude. Barry Owen Biden. That was going to be about three on my list. That's a dynamic duo, man.
Starting point is 01:05:42 They were so cool. Oh, my God. They were cool. They were perfect together. And they were homies. They were homies were home they got each other's best friend bracelets i bet you they have bad i bet you they have bff tattoos that we'll never see yeah you know i could see fucking donald trump and mike pence just sitting eating fucking pork chops staring at each other i don't think they even like each other is a true believer believer in Donald Trump is one of the greatest degenerates of our time.
Starting point is 01:06:06 Yeah, I don't think they like each other at all, dude. No way. That is a... I bet you as soon as the camera's off, he's like, get out of here. Donald Trump has nothing but transactional relationships. Yeah. His wife doesn't love him, and no way Mike Pence likes him. I don't think he's ever had a real friend.
Starting point is 01:06:21 No way. I was thinking about this the other day. Like, realistically, though, I don't think Donald Trump has ever had, like, a friend. Like, hey, you want to shoot hoops? He can't. He can't. Hey, you want to go swimming? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:33 Hey, Donald, come over. We're going to watch a casino. Yeah. You know what? He's never watched the game with no, like, this could lead to a business deal type of ties. He sucks so bad he's the one thing almost in the, that I don't try to find a silver lining with. Where I'm just like, nope. That's how you
Starting point is 01:06:48 know it's bad. Everything's the worst. I was thinking about this the other day. Does he listen to music? Can you picture him sitting somewhere listening to music? No. I can't picture it at all. What is it? Okay, so let's say
Starting point is 01:07:03 let's try to trace it, right? Let's say he's 70 right now. He's like 71, 72. So we'll put the prime of his music listening is 50 years ago, right? Yeah. So that's like, what's that, the 70s? I can't do math. What the fuck is 70s?
Starting point is 01:07:21 I know math good. Like, you might want to be like, oh, he listens to Sinatra, but he's a little too young for that. That's the thing. That's how you know he's a fucking narc, is he's like counterculture age. Yeah. And he's a heart. Like, that's an ultra narc. Dude, everybody was free loving and shit.
Starting point is 01:07:39 He was like on the old side, but he still doesn't soak up any of it. Ultra narc. No, dude, that dude wore business suits to middle school. Well, and he can't handle people being better at shit than he is. So he's not going to listen to anything and be like, oh, yeah, they're great. There's no good songs about him. And I feel like that's all he would want to listen to. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:55 It fucks me up that he's taller than De Niro. He's tall. He is a tall man. How tall is he? He's like 6'2", 6'4". Yeah. Or 6'2", 6'3". Really?
Starting point is 01:08:04 Which blew my mind when i looked it up because you just had because you don't he acts like a lot of dudes that are that tall and that thick and that old yeah god man he would be remember that debate when he was just looming behind hillary that's a loomer because he's because he's huge i just like what do old white guys listen to steely dan he doesn't listen to Steely Dan. Jackson Brown? He doesn't listen to Steely Dan, though. He might listen to Jackson Brown. I mean, like... I bet you he listens to, like, Molly Hatchet and feels real bad about it. Also, all his favorite art, like, anyone he does like hates him.
Starting point is 01:08:35 You know what? Fuck him. We're giving him too much here. He's not... Barry O. Okay, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Barack Obama, Joe Biden.
Starting point is 01:08:42 Fuck that dipshit. They're just fucking great man the biden ice cream thing yes just warms my heart so much i loved all those biden barack memes yes yeah there was so many well that blew up so quick friendship memes of those two dudes that's what they're just so fun everyone like anyone in a position of power like i never looked at joe biden and like thought like there's somebody who wanted the throne. Not at all. He wanted to be the support of the cast.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Yeah. He loved his position. Even though he was in the primaries before joining up with Barack. Sure. And they just went so great together. And Biden, because remember when Barack Obama was still like, and I mean, neither of these people are perfect people. Of course, they're like politicians and everything. But like Obama wasn't ready to go full bore, like throw the office of the president's support behind gay marriage.
Starting point is 01:09:34 And Biden just like popped out and was like, oh, no, we have to do that. And then like led from that position. Like a wonderful compliment. Yeah, exactly. Where it's like, oh, it came from him. And then what's, you know, Obama going to do? Even though, you know, privately Obama was for it. Of course. Yeah, exactly. Where it's like, oh, it came from him, and then what's Obama going to do? Even though you know privately Obama was for it. Oh, of course.
Starting point is 01:09:48 Oh, yeah. He was smoking cigarettes like, let him get married. Just out there talking to himself like, God damn it, let it happen. That's what I was doing at the same time. We're very alike. And they just seem fucking cool and smart, man. It seems like a relationship that they're going to have forever. Forever.
Starting point is 01:10:06 Do you think Clinton and Gore still talk to each other? Nah. But I feel like Obama and Biden are always going to be like. Always. I think Clinton and Gore is like a Larry Bird Magic Johnson. Yes. Sometimes they look up at the moon and they can feel that the other one's alive. They don't have to call each other Obama.
Starting point is 01:10:23 Somewhere out there, yeah. Yeah. But I think Obama and Biden are going to go to a lake once a year they should they should fucking it should be required it should be there should be a television special about it they how come nobody ever talks about what the president the vice press do after the you never hear about what that relationship like you guys were in the shit together in the shit like do you think they're like, like, who's W's? I don't know how you go through
Starting point is 01:10:47 all that shit together and then don't go, I mean, we had a, but like, Dick Cheney, who's somehow still alive. Yeah, do you think, I bet you they don't hang out.
Starting point is 01:10:56 No way. He don't hang out, he's not hanging out with people. They were never friends. Yeah. Dick Cheney. I bet you they don't even text sometimes. I bet you W texts and Chaney doesn't text back.
Starting point is 01:11:06 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what happens. And George will see that there'll be the dots every now and then. They'll just go away and he'll never get that text. Like they're breaking up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see that U2 game? Obama will, no, but like George W sends him like one of those like Halloween texts, you know, where it's like, are you a naughty ghost or a freaky Frankenstein?
Starting point is 01:11:31 Check this shit out. I want W. to just send him hella memes. Like W. just sends Chaney like Cardi B memes. I'm saying. And Chaney's just like, God damn it. I'm going to start sending you guys memes. Yeah, I like that. This is what I want us to talk about in 10 years, how we started sending each other memes
Starting point is 01:11:49 10 years ago. I'm into that. I'm totally with that. I'm in. Yeah, I mean, there's not a lot I can say about Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Not a lot needs to be said. That, you know, hasn't already been said. They let eight years do the talking. Yeah, right, exactly. Yeah. I let my pistol do the talking and the Uzi do the walking.
Starting point is 01:12:07 What's that line from that ludicrous song back when two kids was 24? What's that line from my journal? You're reading my goddamn journal again? Where the beat was a cough. You remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, what is that one?
Starting point is 01:12:20 That's going to be all David. Oh, I can't remember. Anyway, David, it's time for your second and then third pick. So my second pick, and I feel like a lot of people don't understand the depths of this relationship. Yeah. And I'll be honest, I don't fully. But every time I see it, I know that it's genuine. Okay.
Starting point is 01:12:38 I'm picking Busta Rhymes and Spliffstar. Oh. Well, I know so much about Busta and so little about Spliffstar. But whatever that bond is, it is real. There's whispers of Spliffstar that I hear. I know nothing. He's in everything, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:55 He is always with him. Always. Always with him. That's so crazy. Even more than anybody else in Flip Mode Squad, Spliff is, I've known about, I've seen Spliffstar my entire life. My entire, yeah, I've known about Spliffstar forever, but never known anything about him. He was in the Got You All in Check video, the Dangerous video, like all these videos he was in. And he only got, as far as I can remember, two verses.
Starting point is 01:13:21 I couldn't tell you, I couldn't tell you one. He had a verse on the make it clap remix and grinding and grinding that's flip star yeah it's blitz john paul and busta rhyming we got dough you can tell by what we driving that's yeah that's Splitstar. And then, remember that Flipmode song? Baby, if you give it to me, I'll give it to you. You know what I want. You know what I got. He's in that song.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Pulled up to the house in the red Lamborghini. You haven't seen me. That's also Splitstar. Only two verses I know of him rapping on. but whatever those two men's bond is it is eternal and you gotta respect it they're together all the time i think buster rimes must be a really good dude he seems like it so i think so and i think right i think it's gotta just be like maybe his best friend from child i don't know what i don't know what you want that person around like no matter how far i imagine no matter how hard you blow. Well, you want that person around. Like, no matter how far, I imagine, no matter how hard you blow up or whatever, you want that person that you know is real.
Starting point is 01:14:27 Who's been there. Who's going to tell you what's up, you know, when you need to hear it. And it's like, I feel like they're actually friends. Like, 50 Cent and Tony Ayo, I don't think it's the same thing. I have long thought, I really personally believe that Tony Ayo saw 50 Cent kill a dude. And that's what that is. Because 50 Cent, I watch a lot of the interviews. I think he hates Tony Ayo.
Starting point is 01:14:51 Yeah. He's always calling him fat and shit like that. Jesus. Yeah, he's really mean. This is a tangled web. He's really mean to him. It's an abusive. And then Tony Ayo comments on all his Instagram.
Starting point is 01:15:01 It's really sad. But Spliff and Busta Rhymes, they're just – they were always together. Yeah. All the live performances, every time he did a VMAs or whatever. Like, I assume all the tours. So he's probably getting paid. Like, and I don't – you don't know what that relationship is. He's a hype man.
Starting point is 01:15:19 But not just a hype man. Who has kept a hype man as long as – Nobody. Nobody. I mean, I will say, R.I.P., if Proof hadn't died, I feel like he probably would have been M&M the hype man. Who has kept a hype man as long as that? Nobody. I mean, I will say, RIP, if Proof hadn't died, I feel like he probably would have been Eminem's hype man forever. Proof could rap, too. Proof was on more songs. Can you imagine if a hype man actually got you hyped?
Starting point is 01:15:36 And it wasn't just some dude who was going out there to get the crowd hyped. But if the hype man, you were like, fuck, yes. I'm hyped. Are you hyped? I'm hyped. I bet Spliff does that. I think that he does. That'd be the best thing. Like having a comic, when they open for it, and you hyped? I'm hyped. I bet Spliff does that. I think that he does. That'd be the best thing.
Starting point is 01:15:46 Like having a comic, when they open for it and you're like, hell yeah, this person's out there killing it. I can't wait to go up now. You just need to have somebody, and you got to have somebody to share the ride with. I think that's where him and Spliffstar, like, and not that he's like Spliffstar, but me and Keith30 went on this tour this summer together, and I was just happy to have my good friend with me. The one where he stuck his dick through a painting, that one?
Starting point is 01:16:06 No, he had stuck his dick through a painting long before we went on the road. Or no, thumbed it through. And probably long after. I just wanted to bring that up again. He might be doing that right now somewhere. I don't know. I'm going to his house in the morning. Some art museums keep late hours.
Starting point is 01:16:22 I'm a dick poke bandit. Yeah, I just, the point is is i yeah i've never understood that i've never known anything about what that relationship is sure but for whatever it is it's because he never seems unhappy spliff star no a lot of times you could see somebody in that role and i think that probably happens where they get sick of it they don't want to do it anymore they want to drop their own lp or whatever he never he's gonna be on the payroll in some way right yeah i think that you're otherwise how's he make a living wanted his bus to have like a payroll that he's got people on payroll i think you're allowed to like pay somebody a wage for being your hype man yeah yeah he's got a microphone too like tax deductible my question question is, what is Spliff Stars? Who is his family?
Starting point is 01:17:09 He's got kids, and are his kids just like, okay, I just went to his Wikipedia. All right, it's very short. Very short. It is. Very short. I have a longer Wikipedia. Yours is about 10 times as long. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:27 wikipedia yours is about 10 times as long yeah uh william a lewis better known as spliff star born april 16th 1975 he's gonna get a google alert tomorrow hell yeah he is i hope he becomes a friend of the pot i would love to oh big big invite to spliff star yeah please calm down uh is an american rapper and producer from bro Brooklyn. He is best known for his work with Busta Rhymes. Both vibe and complex, listed Spliffstar as one of the best hype men in hip hop. That's all it says. Get out of town. Oh my God, he had his own album. You're going to have to get it.
Starting point is 01:17:58 Contraband, released by Paper Rock Records and Conglomerate Records in 2008. Normally I'm quick to say go buy Shane Torres' album, but right now I'm going to say buy Spliffstar's album first. I don't think it's for purchase as much as... And then if you got a couple extra bucks, buy Shane's. And then illegally download Shane's. I think you got to trade some weed for it. Enemy of the podcast, Shane Torres. Illegally download it.
Starting point is 01:18:17 He was in a movie called The Hip Hop Witch, where he played himself. The Hip Hop Witch. And on songs, so he was on the Touch It remix. I Know What You Want featuring Mariah Clary. Make It Clap. Some song called Can't Get Enough.
Starting point is 01:18:32 A song called What It Is Part Two. Oh shit. And the End of the World outro. Which makes me think maybe Busta writes his rhymes.
Starting point is 01:18:41 If he's only shown up on Busta songs. And he's only his whole discography is like four songs. Well, more than mine. Besides whatever that album is. What a mystery. Maybe he wants it that way.
Starting point is 01:18:54 Maybe he's into that. I just want the listeners to know that Sean Jordan is wearing a what do you call that? A checkerboard shirt. There's several pinks on there It's a good look It looks good
Starting point is 01:19:09 I bought it I bought it for this wedding In South Dakota Because I didn't have I got in at like Eight in the morning Yeah And had to go buy a shirt
Starting point is 01:19:15 For a wedding And this is The only thing I could find For under 50 bucks At Banana Republic It's great It's purple Yeah it's purple and pink
Starting point is 01:19:21 Yeah Pink and purple And I got my stepdad hair going on Yeah I got my stepdad shades on Sean could pick up any school kid from any school oh yeah i trust i have my jeans that are a little bit too much like levi's pipe jeans from back in the day so i'm gonna need to take them back and exchange them you got your jeans on yeah my team obviously you guys are my team strong you guys are my team marissa you're part of that team strong strong ass team she just flipped me off That's how buck she is.
Starting point is 01:19:46 Put the gun down. Now she's got all six guns that Sean, David, and I were pointing at each other earlier. What do you call it? Disgunda? Disgundled. Disgrunled? David, with your third pick. With my third pick.
Starting point is 01:20:02 It's like, I don't know where I want to go. Yeah. You know what? I got to do it. One of the most dynamic duos of all time. We look to basketball. Yeah. Obviously.
Starting point is 01:20:17 Oh, yeah. But do we look to the court? Or do we look to the silver screen? Whoa. Oh. Sidney Dean and Billy Hoyt from White Man Can't Jump. What a combo. You look to the silver screen. Whoa. Oh, I bet I- Sidney Dean and Billy Hoyt from White Man Can't Jump. What a combo.
Starting point is 01:20:30 Come on. Yeah. Hustling the streets of Venice. Just forcing each other to be better. To high heights. That movie, I just watched that movie alone in a hotel room in Happy Valley, Pennsylvania. It's real good. It is, Pennsylvania. It's real good. It is the best.
Starting point is 01:20:47 It's real good. I love them together. Yeah. Oh, they get you so excited. Now, to me, my one problem with this pick is that movie's really about Rosie Perez to me. It is. That's crazy. And her journey with Jeopardy.
Starting point is 01:20:59 I love you. I love you. And I love the foods with the letter Q scene. Don't get me wrong. What is a quince for 500, Alex? It's also about the Stooky Brothers. There's a lot of things in that movie. The Stooky Brothers.
Starting point is 01:21:11 Who's that dude who goes to get the gun? That guy who goes to get the gun out of his car used to be an NBA player. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, I forget his name, but he was like actually an NBA player. It's funny thinking about dudes being hard back then because they were. They just looked all goofy compared to what hard people look like now. I know people like the tough dudes
Starting point is 01:21:27 that had high top fades. Yeah, which is a good year. Yeah. It is, but you just look at a goofy looking hard dude. You're like, man, I couldn't be scared of you, but of course I would have been. Yeah, because he had a gun.
Starting point is 01:21:38 Also, I want to say in that movie, Wesley Snipes had the one move and he did it like six times. Yeah. He did the stutter step and then the pass where he like threw it around his body twice like he threw
Starting point is 01:21:52 the ball around his body as he spun and then passed it was like a move that doesn't make not a basketball move really it's a dance move on a basketball court but they shot it so well yeah you would just like and then pull it in so hard like i just love that movie i love you know
Starting point is 01:22:13 he didn't play basket he'd like never play basketball going into that movie it was only karate harrelson yeah woody harrelson was like a pickup like basketball player you can tell you can tell is that why he has that one weird move? Yeah. And Wesley Snipes, he was a good athlete, a good dancer, and had done all this stuff, but had never played basketball. So he just taught himself. So that's why he's got this weird... He doesn't have any game, really, but he's such a good
Starting point is 01:22:36 athlete that he can fake it. That's what it is, because when you watch it, it's like... When you watch him play... Yeah, Woody Harrelson just plays basketball. Yeah. You know what I mean? But when you watch him play, like, yeah, Woody Harrelson just plays basketball. Yeah. You know what I mean? But when you watch Wesley Snipes, he's just doing a bunch of weird shit.
Starting point is 01:22:52 So it's flashy, but it is like, yeah, you can tell it's not informative. Yeah. Have you ever played with a dude who's got, like, crazy handles but then can't, like, like, he's just, like, right there in front of you? Yeah, yeah. Just, like, between, between, between, between. But nothing ever drops. But he can't go forward or anything.
Starting point is 01:23:08 You know to just watch their hips, but they don't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got no moves, but he's real active. That's how it is. Nothing even hits the rim. It all just looks like big passes that he's doing. Yeah, that's how. If you watch that, he does a lot of passes, and then he has these layups, but they aren't
Starting point is 01:23:23 really layups because they're super late. Sure. It doesn't make a ton of passes and then he has these layups but they aren't really layups because they're super late like it just like it doesn't make a ton of sense and then it's just woody harrelson's like hit me baseline isn't that movie aren't they what's the amount of money they're going for too or like they like so initially yeah screw it initially so they start so what's uh woody Initially, so Woody Harrelson hustles Wesley Snipes out of like 500 bucks. Is that what it is? It's the sizzler thing. Initially, that's the sizzler thing. Because that last shot was like, you want to watch that wind a little bit. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:55 You got to just a little bit. Just a little bit. Because down here at the beach, the wind goes 20 to 30 degrees to the left to right. Gets in his head. He says, you know, Michael Jordan came down down here wanted me to play for the pro leagues yeah i said hell no it would mess up my game i love that movie the point is and then so he i think he hustles him for like five hondo and then they start running together and then he dumped wesley snipes double hustles woody harrelson for 17 hondo yeah. Woody Harrelson comes home, tells Rosie Perez.
Starting point is 01:24:25 She says, oh, no, we're going to get our money back. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they figure it out. And then they enter the two-on-two tournament. Yeah. And then at the end, he gets fucked because he lets his pride get in the way. Right, right. Because white men can't jump.
Starting point is 01:24:36 White men can't jump. But his girl got onto Jeopardy and killed it. Yeah. Because food's with a, let's start with the letter Q. Yep. Came up. I just, but anyways. Quiche.
Starting point is 01:24:46 Quince. My friend, Baron Von Wolfgang, shout out. That's a name? Yeah, this is a real kid I grew up with. Did you guys hang out
Starting point is 01:24:53 and party in his castle when you were kids? He, he used to think quiche was pronounced quee-chay. Ah. And then he would dress up,
Starting point is 01:25:02 or like his alter ego, he's a gay dude, his alter ego would be queui-che Ramirez, that he would like dress up and go out like this dude, Cui-che Ramirez. Cui-che Ramirez? What was Cui-che Ramirez doing? He just made it up
Starting point is 01:25:12 because he thought Quiche was pronounced Cui-che, so he's like, I'll just embrace it a little bit. Wait, you're not, so he would go out and do what? He would just like have an alter, yeah, just like have an alter ego when he went out. Like Sasha Fierce, I get it.
Starting point is 01:25:23 Yeah, just like, you know. I gotta get in that. I got an alternate. Who is it? His name's... I remember it. Huh? I don't know one of yours.
Starting point is 01:25:33 Oh, God, I do. Aloysius de Montepeco. Aloysius de Montepeco is one of them. Oh, I like that. And mine is Tony Impact. Yeah. I have one, but I've never done it. I just have a name that I think is funny.
Starting point is 01:25:43 Let's hear it. Snack Bar Jackson. There you go. Snack Bar Jackson. I love that. You're've never done it. I just have a name that I think is funny. Let's hear it. Snack Bar Jackson. There you go. Snack Bar Jackson. I love that. You're in the group now. Okay. Aloysius Amanopeco, Snack Bar Jackson, and Tony Impact.
Starting point is 01:25:51 We got to go bowling. I don't know what those guys do. Sometimes when I'm checking into hotels, my name's Xander Super Bitch. Whoa, really? Nah. Damn. Have you ever checked into a hotel under a pseudonym? No. I don't even know. It seems illegal. Yeah. It seems weird checked into a hotel under a pseudonym? No.
Starting point is 01:26:05 I don't even, it seems illegal. Yeah, I don't know. Because they have your card. Yeah. And then like, who's it for? I don't know. Like, is it so somebody can come up to the desk and be like, I need to know where it's One name in.
Starting point is 01:26:19 And pay with a different. But can you like, if I like casually mention that I stay at the Ace Hotel, right? And then like, can someone just call the Ace and go like, give me Ian Carmel's room? I feel like they can. Because the reservation has to be, because when you put your name down, like you have to show ID and a card for incidentals. Right. I don't have an ID that says. I'm not checking into hotels under a different name thing.
Starting point is 01:26:41 It's fishy to me. I feel like maybe it was like a more of a back in the day thing. What'd you say, Xander? What? Super bitch. One word. Just like at a- I've never had anybody come to a hotel looking for me anyway.
Starting point is 01:26:55 No. No, yeah. They were looking for the wrong reasons, and they knew all my aliases if they were there wanting something. Yeah, they're like, can I have Sean Jordan? Sometimes he goes by Sean Joe. Sean, I'm going to need that Super Nintendo back now. I don't know how much you thought you were going to get for it.
Starting point is 01:27:12 Let me get it. Sidney Dean and Billy Hoyle. Great pick. It's time for me to make my third pick. With my third pick, I'm going to take a timeless combination. I'm going to go to the basketball court, too. But I'm only going to have one timeless combination. I'm going to go to the basketball court, too. Nice.
Starting point is 01:27:25 But I'm only going to have one foot on the basketball court. Okay. Maybe this is what I thought David was going to say. Luckily, that foot has been adorned by a shoe designed by one Tinker Hatfield. And the foot belongs to one Michael Jeffrey Jordan. My man. My dynamic duo, Tinker Hatfield. My man.
Starting point is 01:27:44 Change the game. The guru of Nike and Michael Jordan. Tinker Hatfield, I designed all the Jordans between three and 15. The best ones. And then a grip of other ones. All the best ones. I mean, the one is classic. One is classic.
Starting point is 01:28:00 Tinker Hatfield didn't do that one. Two kind of boo-boo. Two kind of boo-boo. Three fucking fire. Three's incredible. Four's dope. Four's almost a purple shoot. He did 11. 11's fucking sick. didn't do that one but like two kind of booboo two kind of booboo three fucking three's fire fours though he did 11 11s fucking six sevens all that shit tinker if you haven't sure the ones inspired by the jet plane you know the one the paw the the oh god everybody knows them um you know what i'm talking about the ones inspired the shoes inspired by the jet plane by
Starting point is 01:28:23 yeah you know these jans. They're very common. Oh, I'm sure I do. The elephant print. No, not the... The three, right? I mean... No, not the three. Okay, now I gotta Google it. Oh, no. I'm sorry. I misremember that. He has a jet plane.
Starting point is 01:28:40 Michael Jordan has a plane that has the elephant... You know the elephant print on the Jordan 3? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has it painted with that. Oh, really? So he has a plane that has the elephant print on the Jordan 3s. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has it painted with that. Oh, really? So he has a jet plane inspired by Jordans. That's sick, though.
Starting point is 01:28:52 Holy shit, that's tight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's the 11s. Man. The 11s are sick. I wouldn't be surprised. Are those the Space Jams? The Space Jams aren't the ones I'm talking.
Starting point is 01:29:03 The 12s. The 12s. Those were also Tinker Hatfield. Yeah, those were inspired by or no, were they? Now I don't know. One of them were inspired by a jet plane. One of them was inspired by a woman's shoe. They were just crazy. They get crazy inspirations.
Starting point is 01:29:20 They're beautiful. Tinker Hatfield from Hillsborough, Oregon. Oh shit. Yeah. from Hillsborough, Oregon oh shit yeah lives in Portland, Oregon went to the University of Oregon why did he go to
Starting point is 01:29:31 school for? architecture wow he's gonna build shoes art and architecture and then he yeah joined Nike
Starting point is 01:29:39 in like 1981 and 85 started doing shoe design and yeah did I mean did like Jordan 3, 4, 5 yeah that dude changed my life all the dopest shoes 1981 and 85 started doing shoe design yeah and yeah did i mean did like jordan three four five
Starting point is 01:29:46 yeah yeah yeah that dude changed my life all the dopa shoes changed the way the nba was perceived changed the way nike made money i mean wasn't it like it was a big deal when jordan for like didn't he get fined for wearing his sweats at the all-star game he got like fine for crazy he well they his the first jordan ones, this is before Tinker Hatfield again. Yeah. But, like, they did a color scheme that was, like – because your shoes used to have to fit a very specific color. It was the black and reds, right? They couldn't be all red, right?
Starting point is 01:30:13 Yeah. Or they couldn't be, like, black, red, and white or something like that. I feel like it was the black and red ones he got in trouble for. Am I crazy? The originals. They were. And I forget why. Because that was the Bulls colors. I forget what
Starting point is 01:30:25 the exact rule was. So they got banned so that Nike could say that the sneakers were banned and they could insinuate it because they made him you know, so good at basketball, which was never the case. Not good shoes for hooping, by the way.
Starting point is 01:30:41 The ones, not very good. Not a lot of support. I feel like you could hoop in fives. Eh. They had, there's a bunch of skate, Koston had probably two or three of his shoes were inspired by Jordans, and they were horrible for skating. Really?
Starting point is 01:30:56 The Kostens were? What the fuck are you doing with those? They just look good, though? Not even that good. Maybe good for the time, but looking back, they didn't. It took him, he had like eight or nine shoes and only got about three of them right.
Starting point is 01:31:07 So other than the Jordans, Tinker Hatfield also did the Air Max 1. Yes. The Air Max 90s. Yes. All dank. All the dope shoes. I love the Air Max 90s. Shout out to Michael Malloy.
Starting point is 01:31:18 They both did awesome stuff. For real. They both did awesome stuff separately together though. They fucking – Yeah. they both did awesome stuff separately together though they fucking yeah and uh they just both hit their peaks and not that tinker had anything to do with jordan doing but it's like a businessman but it's just like interesting because he must have been inspired by his play somewhat for sure yeah and i've been to tinker have one of tinker hatfield's vacation homes for a wedding and it
Starting point is 01:31:42 was awesome whose wedding it was uh when i was with uh amanda armstrong sure her it was tinker hatfield's daughter what yeah well it was really cool you really are portland strong yeah i know it was crazy you might be portland's favorite son i was oh here's another story for you i am carmel god it. I'll maybe tell you the story off the air, actually. I am Carmel. Oh, I hate doing that. I can't wait to get my hands on one of those posters. And sometimes I'll leave my headshot on Ian's pillow when he's out of town.
Starting point is 01:32:14 So I come back and just... I did last night. You just have your headshots loose like that? I have like a 10-year-old headshot that is on the fridge. But I'm going to start laying those posters on your pillow as soon as I get my hands on one. I'm into it.
Starting point is 01:32:28 See if you can get your hands on one. I'm having them all burned. Yeah, you got to get one because now it's like a... I'm the fucking king of Portland. Do you think? It's like a misprinted comic. Get your hands on them. They're going to get cut off when I burn the posters.
Starting point is 01:32:37 So Michael Jordan, Tinker, Halfhill, Sean, it is time for your third and fourth picks. Number three, we're going Craig and Smokey. Perfect. Oh, very good. Hey. Come back. Hey, man, my stomach and Smokey. Perfect. Oh, very good. Hey, come back. Hey man,
Starting point is 01:32:47 my stomach hurt. I'm gonna go to the crib. Hey, come back. It's such a fucking simple line and it's so funny. It's such a good duo. Those two.
Starting point is 01:32:56 I wish they had had another movie. I wish it would have been. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was no Smokey after that. He never came back from rehab. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:33:04 that's such a, I don't know, that movie, maybe it's better that there wasn't another one. Maybe it would never came back from rehab. Yeah, that's such a... I don't know, that movie... Maybe it's better that there wasn't another one. Maybe it would have gotten harnessed. With the two of them? Who knows? I doubt it would. I'm sure it would have been dope.
Starting point is 01:33:12 Next Friday did give us Mike Epson. I know. Barrel of laughs. Yes. I got a lot out of that. Crazy bitch. Know about all them hoses coming out. They got sprinkles and shit.
Starting point is 01:33:21 All the new snacks. All the 2000 snacks. What do you think of my 20s? No, they're 10s. I keep them clean. He tried to lie and say they were 20s when they were 10s.
Starting point is 01:33:31 Yeah. Big Baby D. Ho Kim, motherfucker. Yeah, that movie is great. Yes. Craig and Smokey, though. Two just the best. And maybe it was such a...
Starting point is 01:33:43 At the time in my life when I was first figuring out adult humor maybe because I was probably 13 right? When did that come out?
Starting point is 01:33:52 96 I want to say Yeah, so 13, 14 and yeah I was just right away I was just like those fucking two they just bounce off
Starting point is 01:34:01 each other perfectly Older the berry the sweeter the juice And it's the black of the berry the sweeter the juice She And it's the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. Blacker than a motherfucker too. Yeah, they're great together. You wish that they had come out.
Starting point is 01:34:16 Just like, I do wish they had come out with another movie. I'd have fucked with another Friday with the two of them. Or at least just the two of them doing anything together. That's what I'm saying. They could have done something different. Chris Tucker fucked himself, man. I don't know what he did. Dude, Money Talks is hilarious if you watch him in Money Talks.
Starting point is 01:34:32 It's like right after Friday. He invented that dance. You know that dance that now grandmas do where they snap and they move their head? Chris Tucker invented that. That's cute. I feel like we don't give him credit. That was a cultural way. Everybody in America from, like, a 30-year age range knows that dance.
Starting point is 01:34:53 That and Will Wayne's inventing bling bling. Yeah, those two things. They'll both be lost. Eventually, those will just, people will still say that shit. Our kids won't get it. But we'll forget who, like, invented it. Like, it's such a big deal that dance is it was everybody's everybody does it uh-huh everybody my mom does it my mom does it now
Starting point is 01:35:12 Chris Tucker because actually think about money talk Friday Fifth Element all the uh the Rush Hour movies I mean now though Silver Linings Playbook is even good oh yeah look back what five years four or five years ago, whenever the fuck that came out? I heard he started, I heard he wanted to be a $20 million movie guy. That isn't... I felt like he was on his way. What happened?
Starting point is 01:35:35 There's like three, I mean like there's like man, you gotta be like the biggest guy in Hollywood. Yeah, Jim Carrey was a $20 million guy. You also can't just be funny if you're that. Yeah. I mean, you can for a little bit, but you've got to have like a Will Smith, like you've got to be able to do both,
Starting point is 01:35:51 I feel like, if you're that big. Have you seen that shit about Tyrese? Yeah. Crying? So fun. Well, Tyrese trying to like force the rock out of it. It's so fun. I don't want to talk about Tyrese's fall from grace, guys.
Starting point is 01:36:02 I just read about Will and Jada giving him five million bones, being like, stay off the internet with this. Really? Man, come on, man. I'm not saying. I get it. It's pressure being famous. All right, we won't talk about it.
Starting point is 01:36:12 Hard times. Hard times, man. We won't talk about it. Shout out to Tyrese. I mean, nobody else paid me more than Sean. No, I'm not. See, I'm nothing wrong with Tyrese. Have I told you I love you?
Starting point is 01:36:22 Lay, lay. Have I told you you still mean the world to me? I'm not going to give you the, is Tyrese in the room on that one? He wasn't, actually. That was me. It was not Tyrese. I saw it. Tyrese has been too much.
Starting point is 01:36:38 If he heard that that's what we thought he sounded like, that might be the end. I feel like you didn't try. If I do. And also, why was Sweet Lady not the song you were singing I'm the worst singer you're ever going to meet I don't agree with that that's exactly what it is that's why I didn't give it to you this time
Starting point is 01:36:54 I've heard you do better in here maybe I've been hammered or something all I'm going to say right now not about you singing but just about Tyrese right now Stefan Marbury he's very famous in China. He's got shoes over there. Yes.
Starting point is 01:37:09 He's doing great. He seems in a good place. Yes. And it wasn't that long ago he was eating Vaseline on the internet. So, Tyrese, you can bounce back from this. My man. My man. The all-fans to get you.
Starting point is 01:37:19 If you want to start your, if you want to come be. Tyrese, you want to come in? Tyrese, you come sit in here. Tyrese, friend of the podcast. Open invitation. What is the other song that you were just talking about? Sweet Lady. How's that go?
Starting point is 01:37:31 Could you be my sweet love for a lifetime? Anyway. We love you, Tyrese. We love you, Ty. Yeah, yeah. I didn't say I didn't. I think I got to the internet stuff a little bit later. I just heard about it today.
Starting point is 01:37:48 Oh, it's all good, dude. We haven't talked about it on this pod yet. Craig and Smokey. Craig and Smokey. It's your fourth pick. Oh, shit. Yeah, I'm going again, huh? In the serpentine draft.
Starting point is 01:37:56 Yes, as it is. We're going to take it to the animated. We're going to go animated. We're going to say Beavis and Butthead. Oh. Oh, that's good. Just a couple of stupid kids. Beavis and or butthead beavis and or butthead just dumb 15 year old dudes that was the yeah where you just watch a show you're like man these kids they aren't doing shit nope never gonna do shit just the road stop for them right like freshman
Starting point is 01:38:24 year they were peaking but they had a crib that's what i that's what i never understood Just the road stop for them right, like, freshman year. They were peaking. But they had a crib. That's what I never understood. I think that was a butthead's house. I never saw a parent. We never saw their parents, right? I think their parents just didn't care about them.
Starting point is 01:38:35 So bucked. But they always gave them the living room? I think that they were just, like, not there. I always assumed that it was after school, too. Right after school. That's what I thought about. In that, like, between 2 and six when the parents get home. Yeah, the witching hour.
Starting point is 01:38:47 That show seemed to me like it took place either during the summer in the daytime or, yeah, or, like, at or right after school. That's how I felt about it always. You know, now when I was a kid, I used to hate the music video part. Now, to me, it's one of the funniest things in the world. Oh, yeah. If you watch the old ones. That's so funny. I didn't like the music video part either.
Starting point is 01:39:04 I didn't either because I just wanted a story. And I was like, oh, I'm watching fucking like Poison all of a sudden. You know what brought me back around on the music video is my buddy Bonzo. Shout out to Bonzo. What up, Bonzo? You know his buddy Bonzo? Yeah, Bonzo. Good man.
Starting point is 01:39:18 Good man. He was like, you got to watch this. And we watched it when Beavis and Butthead watched the David Bowie song, Butt Town. That video. Have you heard it? They're like, all the police have muscular physiques in Butt Town. And Butthead, they're watching it, and Butthead's like, this is awesome.
Starting point is 01:39:41 And he just keeps saying, get down, Butt Town. And I was like, this is the best shit i ever seen just that how many kids every boy that i knew at edison middle school talked like butthead that was just how kids talk everybody said oh wait in real life i yeah i just had an impression yeah i didn't know kids who talked like i knew so many kids in oregon were mean, the children of Beaverton, Oregon were gifted, loquacious, silver-tongued. They were writing books. We were writing books. Political books. Yeah, we were just all talking about, like, butthead. We would do impressions.
Starting point is 01:40:14 Yeah, everybody had their... You didn't know a kid who actually was like, hey, Boone, what do you do? This is a real dude. Hey, Boone, what are you doing after school? I was like, I don't know. You want to go skate or something? Just not an impression. I knew one kid like that.
Starting point is 01:40:24 In hindsight, that's actually how Bonzo talks shots the lack of confidence that was how kids like that was their their front they could put onto the world and still be like oh whatever i don't i don't i don't masturbate you're like oh you're that's your your mask that you're wearing man we need to tell boys that that's okay i think they know now craziest there was that weird middle time and then it was like for then you only talked about it. In middle school, when you were like, I don't jerk off. I bet Kevin jerks off. I don't jerk off.
Starting point is 01:40:55 Then what do you do, Kevin? Because you're going to explode. Kids are okay with it. That's why Kevin's hitting. I don't know if kids, do you think kids are okay with it? Kevin's just hitting teachers with bricks. They got naked people on the internet from the time they're born. Yeah, I bet you kids are stroking down a lot sooner now.
Starting point is 01:41:08 Oh, dude. It's so easy to get porn. Pornography, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Back in my day, you had to earn it. We were like passing around porn magazines. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:18 There's this one kid who lived with his dad. And his dad just had like hella porno mags. Which is weird. Super weird. And he would, like, take them out, and you could be like, yo, can I get, like, a Playboy? You know what's the odd thing is taking the physical copy of something that you know is, like, right next to someone
Starting point is 01:41:38 when they're jacking off and being like, hey, let me get that. It's really not even dirty. It's what you had to do back then, though. What else were you going to do? Nothing. There was nothing else to do. These's really not even dirty. It just feels odd. It's what you had to do back then, though. What else were you going to do? Nothing. There was nothing else to do. These caviar tastes we've developed. Man, I miss those days.
Starting point is 01:41:54 All these kids now, I bet you they're doing crazy stuff. Well, that's what I mean. Just like punching each other in the throats. I don't know what they're doing. What do you have to do in the effort to be exciting? Tying each other up. I don't know what they're doing. They're so advanced.
Starting point is 01:42:04 Probably all that. Except for the one kid who still doesn't beat off in seventh grade and he's just like, no, dude. I think that might be a bygone era. You know what they're doing now is they're doing like these like the no fap and stuff like that. I don't know what that means. It's like they're like, they don't masturbate. They like challenge each other to it. What's a fap?
Starting point is 01:42:21 Is this like a Christian camp? You know, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap. FAP? No. Well, I can't. I'm not going to. Yeah. If you don't know what fap is, I'm not going to.
Starting point is 01:42:31 It doesn't stand for anything. It's just a sound. It's the sound of it. You've never heard of fap? No, I mean, I know that sound, but I've never heard it called fap. Now you're going to see it like four or five times tonight. Yeah, it's going to be everywhere. Okay.
Starting point is 01:42:43 It's going to be one of those things. Brandon Wardell has a hoodie that says it. He does. All right. Anyway, yeah, yeah. But now they're like, and they're on message. They're on Reddit together and the NoFap group. Guys, I lapsed today.
Starting point is 01:42:56 So they're all, oh. I don't understand. So they lapsed. I don't get it. They think it like saps your virility out of you or something like that. Why do you have to be virile at 12? Oh, I never want to be virile, by the way. I'm docile.
Starting point is 01:43:07 Cut my shit down. I am docile. Do it like this whiskey. Cut it with LaCroix, baby. You need to cut it. Is Fab going to be like Cuddy Sark? Because I never saw shit about Cuddy Sark. No, Fab's not going to be like Cuddy Sark.
Starting point is 01:43:20 What are you saying? Just saying I never saw shit about Cuddy Sark until I started hanging out with you and you talked about it. Now it's everywhere. Oh, yeah. The Sark's out there. We watched Escape from L.A.
Starting point is 01:43:28 Yeah. And there's a Cutty Sark billboard in Escape from L.A. that's all like broken. Well, it's the official nectar of the underworld. Beavis and Butthead, great pick. Beavis and Butthead. It's time for my fourth pick. Oh, shit. Okay. Damn it. I screwed up. All right, go. Beavis and Butthead great pick Beavis and Butthead yeah it's time for my fourth pick oh shit okay damn it
Starting point is 01:43:46 I screwed up alright go and with my fourth pick I'm going to take maybe the dynamicest of all duos the dynamicest the dynamicest
Starting point is 01:43:53 two friends two tastes okay that taste better together alcohol and tobacco or alcohol and Taco Bell alcohol and Taco Bell it is yeah it is it you I'll never Alcohol and Taco Bell. Alcohol and Taco Bell.
Starting point is 01:44:05 It is. Yeah. It is. I'll never understand it. One hand washes the other. How much Taco Bell that can go inside my shit when I'm drunk. It's crazy. Especially when you get it like, God, there's nothing better than being just like way too whiskey drunk and just like biting into a hot, like a piping hot chalupa and you get some of the sour cream in that bite.
Starting point is 01:44:33 Yes. You're going to live forever in that one. You're going to live forever. Oh, my God. You're in the middle of a sentence. You don't even stop talking. And somehow you get that bite in there and you're still talking. Alcohol is the best ingredient in Taco Bell. It is.
Starting point is 01:44:44 I love it when you get there. We've done this at your house many times. Oh, dude. And you just put the bounty on the table. Oh, my God. Fish! Like you're a fucking, like a DEA officer who just made a huge bust. And we just busted this Taco Bell house. You know what it's like? It's like in The Departed
Starting point is 01:44:59 where Jack Nicholson is having that three-way and he throws the Coke down. He's like, don't come up until you're numb. That's what I thought. And Taco Bell's better when you're drunk, and I love drinking, and that moment you hit. It's not the end of the night, but it's like halfway through the night we're like,
Starting point is 01:45:18 we should get Taco Bell. Because it's like you climb up the Taco Bell mountain, and then you stand on top and see what you're going to do. This night could go forever. I could just do this forever. What has to happen for Taco Bell to hear this podcast? Whoever decides where they send free Taco Bell
Starting point is 01:45:36 shit to. I don't know, man. We get sent free, like Taco Bell has sent free shit to the Late Late Show, so they do, they will do it. They have ears. Granted, they have a slightly wider audience base. They cast a wider net. They're on the Columbia Broadcast. What are we, 3,100 downloads a week?
Starting point is 01:45:52 We're a thousand. But we're that hypodermic needle, man. We're like, you know. And our fans are the juice. Our fans are what you want. Oh, the fans are the juice. You want that in Jackson? The fantasy campers, dude? I just came up
Starting point is 01:46:06 with that. I can't be it. I like it. I'm not against it. I'm not against it. I'm in. We should run an all fantasy everything fantasy camp. We should draft. We should do a mini episode where we each come up with five names for what the listeners can call and then just draft them. Yeah. Yeah. Into the war.
Starting point is 01:46:22 Into the war. Yeah, this has nothing to do with the podcast anymore. Yeah, hope you guys know we're just building our personal army. We're going to war with the Saudis. Alcohol and Taco Bell. Listen, just in the interest of time, I will, if you want to hear more about it, recommend you to the Taco Bell episode of this podcast. Oh, yeah. We got a lot to say.
Starting point is 01:46:42 David, it's time for your fourth and then your final picks. So my fourth pick, and this is a weird one, and I wasn't sure. I just had to be me, man, on this one. I had to think about what makes me feel good
Starting point is 01:46:53 when I'm in my home walking around. Yeah. You wouldn't think it, but like, man, flip-flops and tube socks. What? You psycho.
Starting point is 01:47:03 I love... Not slides? What? Not slides? Not flip-flops and tube socks what i love not slides what not slides yeah slides wait the ones thongs are the ones that go in between your toes okay so flip okay all right that's it that's i'm putting slides yeah slides and tube socks yeah i just like it because it rhymes i guess yeah but and i heard big boys say it once it was really cool but yeah i'm changing i just love the way it feels. All right, then I'm going to change. I love wearing fresh socks and sandals. It's my preferred.
Starting point is 01:47:30 If I could wear that everywhere, I would. It does work. When I saw Gucci slides we're catching on, I was hoping that all slides would catch on. Yeah. Because I got the thick-soled slides, too. I love the fucking, man. You make them catch on. I think I'm going to.
Starting point is 01:47:43 Yeah, they caught on with you. Wear them wherever. I wear slides around the house all the time. Yeah, man. You make them catch on. I think I'm gonna. Yeah, they caught on with you. Wear them wherever. I wear slides around the house all the time. Yeah, dude. Dude, fresh tube socks and a pair of slides. It's so comfortable. There's nothing like new socks. New socks are the best.
Starting point is 01:47:53 And then on some real comfortable flip-flops, I just feel so good. And you feel so chill, so calm. You feel like you're gliding. Yeah, calm. I feel like I'm in a geisha house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I keep stepping up to fly in like that.
Starting point is 01:48:06 Not with – I wear slippers. I've done it. I've done it. Yeah? I've flown in flip-flops and tube socks many times. I bet I wouldn't be nervous. I bet I'd love flying. Yeah, especially if you have like – just make sure the socks are super clean.
Starting point is 01:48:17 Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because they make you take your shoes off. Yeah. I hate it. God, you ever got caught slipping with no socks at the airport? No. God. No. I'm paranoid, you ever got caught slipping with no socks at the airport? No. God.
Starting point is 01:48:25 No. I'm paranoid. It's happened to me. I never get caught slipping with no socks. It's happened to me a lot of times. I mean, your boy's slipping right now. It's fucking disgusting. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:34 You go to LAX with no socks. Oh. Oh. That ground is so gross. Oh. And it's like, I don't want to be out here with my feet in front of these heathens. That's the least of my worries. They made me take my belt off the other day.
Starting point is 01:48:45 Really? Yeah. Why did they even do that? Because it's the thing where it goes. I thought we didn't have to do that anymore. That's what I thought, too. And this dude made me take my belt off. And I was just so crestfallen.
Starting point is 01:48:53 Oh, man. Did you hit him with it? Do you wrap it around your fist and hit him with the buckle? I didn't. No. That's the game. That's what you got to do. But I took his name down.
Starting point is 01:49:00 I've got, like, crazy shit planned. I'm sending him caviar. He never gets. That's. I'm sending him caviar. Send your enemies some weird shit. Freak them out. When I was in Happy Valley this weekend, they had to pat down my whole crotch. Oh, I got an aggressive pat down too. I hate it.
Starting point is 01:49:22 Maybe there's some static on the FBI like wires. I don't know what it is. I think like chubs or something. Heavy guys are playing with terrorists. Then he does this thing where he's like I have to I have to He was like, I'm going to go up
Starting point is 01:49:35 until I feel resistance. So it's basically you're going to go up until you hit the tip of my dangle. Yup. You know what I mean? Resistance is a weird way to put it. Yeah. I'm going to go until like.
Starting point is 01:49:49 It's exactly what I don't want my penis to look like. I'm going to go until your dick's flexing back. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go until I get intimidated. I got. I was like the test dummy because they were clearly training a new guy at the TSA. Oh, so now they're flexing.
Starting point is 01:50:01 And so they were flexing. And you know, you got it like an experienced TSA will probably just like do like a little bit of the pat. Uh-huh. This guy went like all the way up. That's what this guy did. All the way up where like I felt back of the hand against my, you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:50:15 Yeah. You're business. You're new to the company. Say anything? Like, hey man. No, I was just smiling real big at Whitney. Hey man, how about dinner? I was just like, uh.
Starting point is 01:50:22 I hate it. And it's like in front of everybody, and I just feel a bit. And they're like, do you want to go in the side room? And I'm like, no, I don't want to go in the side room. Imagine a fucking world where I want to go in the side room. So you can cut, like, actually hold my dick in your hand. You know what I wanted to do today when I got to the airport was go in the side room and have you feel me up. Yeah, let's go take eight minutes.
Starting point is 01:50:40 I'm going to stand here, and that old lady who's putting her shoes on is going to have to watch you brush your hand against Heavy D and the boys, and you're going to have to fucking deal with it, because the system sucks. Putting a fucking telescope in my butthole. Oh, God. What do you need to see up there? The cocaína. That's in my bag. Like a smart person.
Starting point is 01:51:04 I put it in God's cocaine holder. That's in my blood. Yeah. All right. I'm transporting that in my bag. I'm a smart person. I put it in God's cocaine holder. That's in my blood. Yeah. All right. I'm transporting that in my blood. I'm sweating for a reason. God gave us a nice way to smuggle all these drugs onto the plane, and that's inside the human body, doing what they do.
Starting point is 01:51:16 If I wanted to blow up a plane, I'd do it with sheer power of will, all right? You can't test for that. Just think real hard. I love it. Did Jewish people invent that this year? Yeah, we invented it. Power of Will? The Force?
Starting point is 01:51:35 Flip-flops and tube socks. And your final pick, David? My final pick, and it's hard because there was just so many places to go, but I did want to have one good food one on the board, and I'm surprised this didn't go last. And I don't know. This one is also interesting to me because I don't know how it was discovered, but bless the person who did. Macaroni and cheese. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:57 How did that? Who was like, you know what? I don't. Some of this shit, like, you know, with the Skyline chili, I'm not going to say they didn't get it right. Well, it came to us from the gods, from the heavens, from the sky. Who is just like thinking of that? Because that, they didn't nail it like mac and cheese nailed it. I don't understand, especially like the Kraft macaroni and cheese that I grew up on.
Starting point is 01:52:16 Yes. Whose idea was that weird food? That weird not cheese cheese? Not pasta pot? Like what? It's also wild to me that out there there was, like, just macaroni before cheese. No, thank you. What was macaroni doing before cheese?
Starting point is 01:52:31 No, thank you. Before those two got together? Well, what were they? They were treating it like- Macaroni and red sauce? Get the fuck out of here. Different kind of spaghetti or something like- I remember one time my stepdad, because he doesn't care because, you know, mom was away.
Starting point is 01:52:43 He made us macaroni and red sauce. And I just was like, it's so upset. You don't realize how upset you are until you see it. Yeah. But it's fucking upsetting. I bet I've done it in a drunken stupor at some point. I prefer Kraft macaroni and cheese over, like, even good macaroni and cheese. I got the Blue Blocks Blues.
Starting point is 01:53:01 Oh, yeah. Blue Blocks Blues. Mom's got the night of daddies running the show. Well, I and I'll still do this quite a bit. I'll put tuna fish in there. No. I'll just get a whole can of tuna fish and put it in there. God damn it, Sean.
Starting point is 01:53:10 A lot. No. I do that a lot. We're usually friends, but then you say crazy shit. Neither one of you guys. I know it's basically just like a tuna melt, but no. I can't get on board with it. That's not it.
Starting point is 01:53:20 With either one of you guys, not even a little bit. Sriracha. Oh, yes. Tons of it. Bacon. Sure. Shout out with either one of you guys. I'll give you a little bit. Sriracha. Oh, yes. Tons of it. Bacon. Sure. Shout out to my boy, Amo. He used to go, he'd put prosciutto in it.
Starting point is 01:53:30 Oh, yeah. You got hot dogs? Yeah, hot dogs. Hot dogs, yes. Yeah, hot dogs, yes. Tuna? I don't need a tuna swimming up a cheese river. I was just going to sneak tuna again.
Starting point is 01:53:39 I was going to get you guys saying yes a lot and then sneak tuna in there. It wouldn't have worked. They have tuna helper. Tuna helper is its own product. It's so much. With its own sauces. That's like 20 extra minutes. Tuna helper is 20 extra minutes?
Starting point is 01:53:51 Yeah, like cook it in a skillet. Mac and cheese, you can just, it's five minutes. Put some tuna in there. It's the easiest thing. Eat it out of the pan like a real juggalo, dude. That is true. There's a scene in Vice Principles. You said that without skipping a beat.
Starting point is 01:54:10 I was a conscious effort. I loved it. There's a scene in Vice Principles, this new season, where he's cooking up mac and cheese, and he just looks down and goes, fuck yeah. And it's so funny watching it because I'm like, man, I've done that where I get off work and I'm just like, fuck. Yeah, this is, I'd rather have this than almost anything right now.
Starting point is 01:54:29 Mac and cheese, dude. Mac and cheese. Way better than Mac and Dennis. Yeah. Mac and what? Mac and Dennis? Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg's movie where they're like in high school for some reason. Why did they make that movie?
Starting point is 01:54:41 Snoop is 50. They were so tight for a while. They were so tight for a while. They were so tight, they're like, let's make a high school buddy movie. Stupid 50. They were so tight for a while. They were so tight for a while. They were so tight, they're like, let's make a high school buddy movie. Whack. It's funny when we start screaming, I got to see Marissa duck into the lab a little bit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Marissa.
Starting point is 01:54:55 I have a lot of feelings about Mac and Devin go to high school. We're going to watch it in between Casino and whatever the other movie was. Marissa, by the way, who is from Toronto, Canada. The one Toronto. Is officially a Los Angelino now because it is, what would you say, 65 degrees out? I would. And she's like in a sweater and a scarf. That means you're from here now.
Starting point is 01:55:16 You got to take those chances to layer. You do have to. They're seldom. It could be 80 degrees next week. It looks fantastic. Yeah. It doesn't say chiseled. I don't care for it. but yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:55:26 Sean's shirt, much like it always does. Says Chiswick. Chiswick, South Dakota. Is that even what South Dakota's license plate looks like? Yeah. Okay. Anyway, yeah. Macaroni and cheese.
Starting point is 01:55:40 Macaroni, great pick. Yeah, it's a good pick. It's time for my final pick. Okay. And I'm going to go with something that I, it's a duo that I try not to dance with too often. The devil and the pale moonlight. It's the devil and the pale moonlight. It's a devil that I try not to dance with too often, but I have a few times.
Starting point is 01:55:59 And I have to throw as many disclaimers out here as I can. I love it. Say something. Don't do this. It's probably not good for you but also kind of do it but it's probably but it's probably not good for you what doctors wouldn't recommend it and i know that because i looked it up before the first time i didn't recommend a thing that we talk about but except the laughter i forget what had had happened. I had sprained my ankle or something like that. I went to the Zoom care in Portland, Oregon.
Starting point is 01:56:30 The doctor that took mercy on me wrote me a prescription for Vicodin. And at this point, I had also begun smoking marijuana. The street drug known as marijuana, recreationally. Reefers. And marijuana and Vicodin. He went out swinging. Getting crossfaded. It's a dynamic duo.
Starting point is 01:56:49 That shit is crazy. One Vicodin, a little bit of marijuana, and any movie. Yeah. Any movie. Because you get that. So I've done enough to my legs, like broken bones and things. Yeah. So I'm pretty heavy in the pill game.
Starting point is 01:57:03 I'm a big fan. Jesus. And when you, God, when you get some Vicodin, you just get that body buzz. You're like, I'm not tired, but I feel fucking amazing. Oh, it's like you're in a hot tub soaring over the air. You know what I feel like? So chilled out. Yeah. It feels like somebody took an egg yolk and they heated it up,
Starting point is 01:57:19 not to where it's hard boiled, but they just made it warm. And then they cracked it in my heart. And then my heart pumped all the warm egg yolks throughout my body now i'll say again and like i'm not just saying this because my mom listens to the podcast i seriously mean i try not to i try not to fuck with painkillers unless i'm actually hurt oh god because i never because i don't want to i don't want to develop a resistance america has an opioid crisis opioid problem for sure for sure. I don't think it's good recreationally or anything like that. No. But when I have been hurt and I'll do that and then also a little bit of marriage, it's just like.
Starting point is 01:57:52 But if your leg's broken. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's people out there, their legs get broken. I'm saying. You earned it. That's the silver. That's like.
Starting point is 01:57:58 I honestly, most of the time, I don't want to feel that way if I'm not hurt. I want to be up doing, or be something. It's Madison. We have shit shit we have party stuff yeah and i don't like the mike vikin it's like a party thing you know there's party drugs i wouldn't want to be in a party feeling that way i want to be alone yes candles lit yeah kind of pumpkin spice listening to some daryl hall this is gonna some john oats who's the mustache black guy. Some Desiree. This is going to make me sound like a real junkie. I like the little itches that you get when you take a Vicodin. It makes your skin itch a little bit. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:58:32 That doesn't make me. I used to. Remember back in the day when kids said take niacin to beat drug tests? Yes. That makes my skin itch. That makes sense. The Vicodin doesn't. Man, I've had a lot of nights just itching on niacin.
Starting point is 01:58:45 Like a fool. Trying to get hired at a fucking Circle K. Oh, I still didn't get the job at Sports Authority. Dropped hot. We were just talking about. If you're listening right now, fuck you, Sean Pugh. It did not work. Did you ever do the robo-tripping thing where you just slam a bottle of Robitussin?
Starting point is 01:59:00 Of course I did. I never did that. It's not that cool. One of the little kid things I never did, really. It's not that cool. I always the little kid things I never did, really. It's not that cool. I always liked. Seems like it put you down. I had a summer where I got a hook for like three pints of codeine, me and Sam Talent.
Starting point is 01:59:15 And this was before we all knew how bad it was. So we had like one summer with a bunch of codeine. And I was like, that stuff, it rules. Never again. Yeah. I don't think we should go down this road for our interviews. I know. Coding's another drug I got prescribed once, and it was...
Starting point is 01:59:30 Yeah, I've never... It's too good. It's synthetic heroin. We're not supposed to just be drinking that shit. They shouldn't give that out. I had like a really bad cough and kind of needed it, and still at the same time, as I was pouring it for my... And since I've been sick, I've never touched it again.
Starting point is 01:59:45 Oh, no. I haven't even... And there's been times where I'm like, I'm not doing shit. Why don't I just take a drink of that? It's not... You don't need it. You don't need it.
Starting point is 01:59:51 No. You don't need it. I drank it. I was like, they shouldn't have given me this. But for one summer, shout out to Sam Talent, we were dipping blunts in it. Oh. I think Sam put it on top of some ribs.
Starting point is 02:00:02 It was a crazy summer. You got to dip a blunt. It was a crazy summer. I don't want to mince my street names here So I'm not gonna Yeah but anyway Yeah we dipped a blunt in coating I could have not said what I just said There's no reason for me to say it But I said it
Starting point is 02:00:16 I didn't say what I Well you were going to try to say what that street name For blunts dipped in coating is But you were probably confusing with blunts dipped in uh formaldehyde formaldehyde yeah and yeah and i can't remember what either of them are called damn i know you like to get wet where do you get you i know people that have done that dip to dip the blunt formaldehyde where the fuck do you get formaldehyde at i think you got to know a taxidermist i've known some sketchy some sketchy characters and i still i don't know where you get formaldehyde at? I think you got to know a taxidermist. I've known some sketchy characters. And still, I don't know where you get formaldehyde.
Starting point is 02:00:48 I've never known a taxidermist. I'll tell you that right now. And I know none of my friends do either. Are you sure? I knew a kid. I couldn't even tell you where to get something taxidermied. I knew a kid in high school who worked at a taxidermist. His name was Kyle Nye.
Starting point is 02:00:58 He was a fucking psychopath. Nobody that I knew. But I don't know if he had formaldehyde. I never like. I didn't trust him. He shot my friend Nick Salazar with a bunch of frozen paintballs one time. Frozen paintballs? Bad kid.
Starting point is 02:01:10 Bad kid. What a cool idea. I mean, not, you know. Cruel. You said cruel. He was cruel. In the world of. He was a cruel, cruel boy.
Starting point is 02:01:19 Now he lives in Montana because that's the only state that will have him. Yeah, that's the only state that can hold him. No speed limit having motherfuckers. They didn't have a speed limit forever in Montana. Do they have one now? Yeah, they got one now. What is it, 100? It's like 90. It's fucking crazy. We got pulled over there going like 110 one time and the cop goes
Starting point is 02:01:36 textbook, hey, you know I pulled you over and we're like, uh-uh. I think you guys were going a little too fast. Like, make a fucking speed limit, dude. We're gonna go 110 if we can go 110. Under that big sky, you got to speed towards home. Yeah. All right. But what's your last pick?
Starting point is 02:01:49 Through his body right over the border. My last pick is going to be... Are we ready? We're ready. My last pick is going to be a 40-ounce bottle of Old English malt liquor and a porch to chill on with. Oh. to chill on with.
Starting point is 02:02:01 Oh! That has been that has been my most textbook good time over the last 20 years. Man, that sounds so gross when I say it like that.
Starting point is 02:02:13 No, it doesn't. That is there were so many days and I still there will be so many more where I just I got a porch right now. I know
Starting point is 02:02:20 and I love sitting on your porch like on a Saturday at about 6 o'clock or something you're just like yeah let's sit out and just start sipping these 40s and just let the day go where it goes you don't make plans you don't make plans you just fucking
Starting point is 02:02:35 you sit you chill and it always turns into something dope even if it just turns into another 40 and chilling on the porch because then you got the walk to the 40 talk some shit about the people who are still on the porch. You know what I mean? It's always a good time.
Starting point is 02:02:50 I don't like that. You just sit out there. Sometimes people walk by. Sometimes people roll over. You'll just text someone, and then they just show up. Nobody else that was chilling knew that they were going to show up. Oh, yeah. You're like, oh, boy.
Starting point is 02:03:00 And then he's got a 40. He doesn't even drink 40s, but he's got one. And he's like, I brought Fred. Oh, shit, Fred. Damn, Fred, get out of here, dude. What did I tell you? Fred's got a 40 he doesn't even drink 40s but he's got one and he's like I brought Fred oh shit Fred damn Fred get out of here dude what'd I tell you Fred's got weed sometimes
Starting point is 02:03:09 oh alright Fred come on in someone's inside on the couch passed out on Vicodin and weed cross faded it's six that's me
Starting point is 02:03:19 you know he's got a good job though he deserves it it's a weekend that's why Saturdays I'm recovering from knee surgery in this position That's why Saturdays are the best, because Sunday is the catch-up day, so you can do whatever you want on Saturday. Amen. So, yes, there it is. That's my last pick.
Starting point is 02:03:33 That's solid. I feel like this was a good draft. You do. Good draft. I like it. So, just to recap, David, you started off, you went with good and evil, Busta Rhymes and Spliffstar, Sidney Dean and Billy Hoyle, flip-flops and tube socks, macaroni
Starting point is 02:03:48 and cheese. What a weird... That just sounds like you went shopping. You bought some sock shoes and movie. I went second and took Outkast, Barack Obama and Joe Biden, Michael Jordan and Tinker Hatfield, alcohol and Taco Bell, and then Vicodin
Starting point is 02:04:04 and marijuana. They got progressively buggers. Sean, you were going through a divorce. Could I spend all my money on Jordans? Sean, you started with Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci. And then what? Hall and Oates. And then Craig and Smokey.
Starting point is 02:04:23 Beavers and Butthead. And then 40s and OE & A Porch? Yeah, yeah. Excellent pick. We lost some good stuff on the clips I was tempted to take. I had a bunch of food stuff. I had Dumb Dudes & Fireworks. Biscuits & Gravy was one that I had.
Starting point is 02:04:36 Oh, Penny & Shaq. Dumb Dudes & Fireworks. I had Lungs on there. That was going to be my big pick. Wow. I was going to do Lungs. I was going to do Butts. That was a dynamic duo. Butts, too. I was going to do lungs. I was going to do butts. That was a dynamic duo.
Starting point is 02:04:45 Butts, too. I was going to do butts. Boobs. All the left and right. Balls. That guy with the big ass. It made it onto my list. I was like, you know, testicles.
Starting point is 02:04:56 I'll write it down. The giver of life. Yeah. Balls. I'll never. I'm now 36, and I still laugh at that. The White Stripes? That's a dynamic duo right there.
Starting point is 02:05:10 Oh, yeah. There were so many musical ones. I was thinking of Captain and Tennille, but I didn't have the juice to back it. Yeah. It's just like a funny one. I had Hall & Oates, too, though. I was going to pick Hall & Oates. There were Ben & Jerry.
Starting point is 02:05:23 Oh, Bert & Ernie. Bert & Ernie, Ben & Jerry. Ben & Jerry is pick Hall & Oates. They're with Ben & Jerry. Oh, Bert & Ernie. Bert & Ernie, Ben & Jerry. Ben & Jerry is good. Whiskey Coke. Yeah. Wayne & Garth. Fuck, I didn't even see that on there. I probably would have picked it if I would have seen that.
Starting point is 02:05:33 I had all the, like, Kane & O-Dog, Trey & Doughboy. Yeah. I was also going to come out and pick Left & Right. Oh, Left & Right. The two-piece. Yeah. David stands up. I'll give it to you right now.
Starting point is 02:05:45 Left and right. It's two for Tuesday. That's such a good way to serve you up a two-piece. I love that. Oh, man. This is good. I feel good about it, guys. And now I'm going to go eat two different kinds of chicken wings.
Starting point is 02:06:02 That's what I'm going to do. Oh, absolutely. Is that really happening? Let's get out of here. I'm super in. That's what I'm going to do. Oh, absolutely. Is that really happening? Let's get out of here. Oh, I'm super in. That's it. There it is. How do I end this again? It's been a long goddamn day. Oh, it's been a long
Starting point is 02:06:14 day, but why don't y'all go ahead and, oh, well, first of all, thank you to all our listeners. We always love when you send us your lists online. Make sure you do that. Not just a passive. Oh, sorry. I just, not because I know that everybody says that, everybody at their podcast, and we always say it too, but not just a, like, don't ever brush that off
Starting point is 02:06:32 and think that it's not full, dead-on serious. It's the coolest thing in the world. I think I speak for everybody. We wake up and we just see that people listen to this. It really is. And tweet and respond. And I get excited responding to all those tweets. So, for real,
Starting point is 02:06:47 everybody out there, thank you so much for listening. It's fantastic. And on Thursdays, I can always not wait until it drops. It's my favorite. I don't even listen to all of them, but I just want them to listen to it. So we love you. Shout out to the Reddit. Shout out to the people on Twitter, on Instagram.
Starting point is 02:07:03 Shout out to the kid who came up to me at Penn State. I appreciate you listening, man. This is super cool. I hope you hear this. That is tight. And then on top of all that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Sha-clack-a-tee! that was a hate gun podcast

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