All Fantasy Everything - Famous People Who Use a Middle Initial in Their Name (w/ Sean Jordan & David Gborie)

Episode Date: May 14, 2020

Hey there All Fam! Happy 8th? week of this! We hope you're still keeping that chin up and maybe squeezing in a walk every day! We decided to keep it tight this week with the OG good vibes gang and drafted "Famous People Who Use A Middle Initial In Their Name!" There are more than you think! So plug those headphones in and go for a walk, or bake, or build a Lego set, or whatever you're doing during all this. We're happy to join you in your ears :) Support the show!Sponsor: Hims - Try hims today by starting out with a free online visit. Go to forhims.com/allfantasy5.Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts the entire world, from sandwiches to rom-coms to words that you think make you sound smart. On today's episode, we're drafting people who use a middle initial in their name. We're joined by Sean Jordan and David Borey. I don't know if you've heard of them. I think they're going to be a couple of up-and-comers. I think you're going to enjoy their stuff. And as always, I'm your host,

Ian Carmel. Let's get to it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that had K.K. Slider come to their island and play a little concert, and now we have the developer app thing where we can put in streams and paths and whatnot. It's good. I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much. I'm really putting time in on the old Animal Crossing. As usual, I have no idea what you're talking about.

What's the most, I guess, futuristic thing you can put on your island? Can you put like a mall on there or anything? You can put like a giant robot, dude. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Already, David? Already. You said, is the mall a futuristic thing to you? Well, when it comes to like an island video game.

You could have said time machine. You could have said flying cars. You could have said a monorail. I miss the mall. I miss the mall. Does it have stuff from the future like the mall? They probably have games where you can build a mall. They probably have like a mall simulator.

Mall tycoon. Mall tycoon? Oh, man. They have mall tycoon? Yeah like a mall simulator mall tycoon mall tycoon yeah i'm downloading mall tycoon after this man that's sick a lot of people said you couldn't have a store you know a mall with eight stores and five of them are orange julius but i'm about to prove them wrong it's raining in portland so i'm gonna go stand outside the lloyd center with no shirt on and scream cowards yeah you should does orange julius exist outside of the mall no rabbi's name was Orange Julius. Oh, yeah.

Orange Julius. He cut the tip of my dick off in 87. Yeah, Orange Julius, absolutely. He's nice with it. He's nice. Oh, man. My man Orange Julius, ill with the scalpel. He's my main man moil.

He's my main man moil. He was taking a call while he did it oh that's so sick i think he got a page during my circumcision he was he was picking out which leather he wanted on the interior of his buick le sabre while he was doing my circumcision man man i can get a buick right now i had a buick for a while and then it took a crap on me. Yeah, I drove in it. I know you did. You were there when it took a crap on me. You smoked it to the filter, though. I did.

Yeah. I mean, I took care of it. It had rust on the bottom. When the guy came to pick it up. I know all these people in LA are like, what's that shit on the bottom? And I'm like, that's what doesn't happen in LA, I guess. The Miracle Whip was becoming an ecosystem more than a car. Yeah, and that's when you got to dead it, for sure.

Earth was taking it back. Yeah, that's the thing. Don't feel bad. It just went back to once it came. Yeah, man. It did. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Rust to rust.

Ashes to ashes, Buick to rust. Yeah, there it is. Orange Julius just showed up. Let's cut this kid's dick. How are you doing? Not bad. How are you? kid's dick. How are you doing? Not bad. How are you? That's the peace be with you.

I like the idea of a Moyle coming up saying, let's cut this kid's dick. Let's cut this kid's dick. I got Yankee tickets. Let's cut this kid's dick. Wouldn't that be so tight? He just looks you right in the eyes like, I'm going to cut a little of your dick off. What do you think of that? Do you do it? Because that makes sense, too.

Do they do it in the morning? Is that right? I don't know. It feels like a morning. You don't do it at like 7 p.m. No. They put a little booze on the kid's lip. I know that.

Do they? Oh, yeah, but that's just to get them to calm down. Yeah. That's an old trick. Real old. I feel like, yeah, gosh, that's Buck to get them to calm down. Yeah. That's an old trick. Real old. I feel like, yeah, gosh, that's buck to think about. I just told my mom that schmuck is the stuff that they cut off, right? That's what schmuck is?

Schmuck is derived from that. It's the piece of foreskin they cut off and throw away. What? Yeah. I never knew that. In case anyone didn't know that, that's a fun little, it's not like when you call someone a schmuck you guys have just been calling people that for years absolutely they

have no idea this is like when they let people say skeet on the radio i like that ski got blown up in like two three years most people still don't know what schmuck means no this is a great good on you i like that you know what i mean you're out here like the you out here at like a grocery store and somebody like, oh, just wait one second. And they run and grab like a couple more like jars of like tomato soup or whatever. And they come back and you're like this schmuck. And they're like, oh, all right. Yeah. No, I've said it in front of my parents.

Can you imagine if you were like there, you got cut off in traffic, you rolled your window down and you're like, you are the piece of foreskin they cut off and throw away. I would feel worse about that. And then you throw a handful of change at them. Take it. I did throw a handful of change in a car once. That's why I brought it up. That's very funny.

That's why I said that. Like that. Was it a lot of silver? Or were there pennies in there? There were pennies in there, too. Oh, that's more disrespectful. It is, because they're not worth as much and they provide a different sound like the copper hits a little different yeah but then that guy pulled out a taser and so anyway i did

you get to work that day yeah it was on your way home i thought no it was on the way there uh one time we were at a stoplight and i was this is uh i was being a dick and i was spitting sunflower seeds at this kid's car right next to me. And I was just staring him in the eyes and I would be like, and I'd spit one at his window. I did that probably five or six times. Tap my buddy.

I was like, check this out. I spit another one on his window, light turned green and we just went going. And then the car came up next to us and I had my window down and he threw in a full open can of Coke into my car. And it just bounced around like a like a bullet that guy's pretty tight dude it was and it bounced everywhere it got my friend mike soaked and mike

wasn't doing anything wrong he was just watching me be an asshole and he's like you catch up to that car right now and i was like i deserve that you didn't but as a car i made the choice that we all deserve that i'm just gonna lay it out there I think you might be a bully man I you know I try to be honest and I wasn't I wasn't I was just I was just mischievous I wasn't a bully I think that's what bullies say

no he's a snoopy little devil he can't be a snoopy little devil and a bully he's a snoopy little devil who loves to bully maybe that's what it is yeah I'm just saying if you pulled up to me he's a snoopy little devil who loves to bully maybe that's what it is yeah you need to i'm just saying if you pulled up to me if i'm in my buick le sabre you pull up to me you're spitting sunflower seeds looking in my eyes i'm gonna feel like i'm getting bullied and i would have done that too we gosh one time not to me you wouldn't have, I might have been bummed about it, but I might have. It would have been a real problem.

There was another time Adam and I were cruising and we just used to out of boredom. We would just go sometimes and like just find cars and flip them off and then see if we could outrun them. You know, we made we did that to the wrong crew one night. So we flipped them off. We start going like 60 down these streets and in town and they were chasing us. And Adam's like, go, dude, get away from them. And I was like, I'm really trying, bud. And then somehow another car pulled up. So I think it was like right when cell phones were new. So I think they called some buddies and were like, hey, we're chasing people down cliff. Come meet us.

So then there were two cars chasing us and I tried to get away from them. I ran red lights and everything. And then I pulled into a gas station and I pulled through the ditch and my car got high watered on those little sewer tunnels. And it poked a hole in my muffler. So we're just stuck sitting there. And these kids kind of cornered us. They get out of their car and I got and then I went out the window. I was like, I'm sorry, what? And the guy's like, good, don't talk shit. And he just got in his car and left. So then the next day or like a week later, i went to get my car fixed and i was in the place getting it fixed and i looked at this kid on the couch and i was like uh or no he goes you look familiar to me and i was like yeah we flipped you off last week and then you chased us

and he's like oh cool we just laughed about it but he was sitting in the waiting room of the car shop that i went to get my car repaired at oh god boy and then i learned lessons from that and so i didn't do it as an adult happens when you live in a town of 45 people yeah it's crazy that you didn't know them at all were you guys around the same age we were we had like a same mutual friend that's how we we kind of did know each other we just didn't know it in the when it was on that mutual friend was the asphalt the blacktop stretching out in front of you we were too busy living my life a quarter mile at a time. You know what I mean? That's right. Pink slips, dude. You never had your car. You never had your car.

You never had me. Now me and the mad scientist got to tear up the block. Double clutching, not granny shifting like you should. I'm not wearing hockey pants. I'm not Batman. I've never seen sleeves. Where's Lau? Where am I?

Where's Lau? Is Lau at Race Wars? Because that's where I'm going to be for a week. In an A.S. stream. To Palm Springs and you point into an area and you're like, is that where the Race Wars happened? And not everyone in the car knew you were referring to Fast and the Furious? And we just thought you were pointing out the location of a prospective race war you knew about?

Yeah. You had some kind of insider information. Nobody else knew. And that's where the race wars went down. They're like, whoa, we didn't know there were race wars. Yeah. It's like you, it was also like you sniffed the air. Like you rolled down the window.

Wait. Wait a minute. Ian, slow down. I smell the white man's fear. Curtis cooks over there somewhere. I smell his blood. It's that kind of podcast. Yeah. It's that kind of podcast.

For God's sake. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar, Mel and Jordan on the gram. Right here, bro. Right here. Right now bro right here right now jesus i uh i it's it's fun to bring up every now and then uh aj did not know that s was not your middle initial and instead it is p dude it's such it's so lame i'm too deep in the twitter game on twitter there is and there's still a sean jordan i'm like what are you guys doing? I've sent him both messages. It doesn't really matter.

I suck at Twitter. Anyways, say, Hey, I'm the real Sean Jordan. Quit faking. Yeah, that's exactly what it says. Yeah,

pretty much. I understand on Twitter. I had to send a message to garage EP Henson like that. Yeah. Yeah. Garage EP Hensman garage EP Hensman. Yeah, man.

Sean S Jordan on Twitter, twitter you know it's supposed to stand for sean's jordan that's that's what i thought that's what i was like okay people will get this originally it was sean jordan one two three then it was sean jordan comedy all lame all suck uh twitter's i can't make it sean claude van jordan because you can't do that there's not enough characters yeah so it stays what it is, man. Well, Frigg, dude. Sean St. Claude and Posse, also too long. Also too long.

Yeah. Damn. Those are all bangers, too. Quite a few bangers. Yeah, man. David Borey, at the GS Island on Twitter. Cool Guy Jokes 77 on Instagram. You're Garage EP henchman.

You're eating Wiener Schnitzel before before faded on fridays weiner schneitzel before faded on fridays weiner schneitzel speaking of faded the two u's uh are part of faded and they start you started another thing right i don't know okay yes i mean yes that's what we call he i'm gonna start calling him mike zuckerberg He's got his fingers in a lot of pots. Don't call him that. Do not call him that. Don't call him that. No. We're not going to do that.

It's both flattering and insulting. I feel like it would bug him. It might be the perfect nickname. It is insulting because Zuckerberg's a ding dong. Sweet baby race. Mike Zuckerberg, dude. Absolutely. might be the perfect thing because zuckerberg's a ding dong yeah sweet baby race mike zuckerberg dude absolutely so it's like a happy hour show you guys do now yeah it's just a little mix up mix up your cocktails with the bartender and the money goes to the bartender right yeah you miss bartenders you miss cocktails you miss us it all makes sense perfect oh i didn't even realize that that's a good cause i'm supposed to be part of it i didn't know so the money goes to the bartender that's fantastic so keeping

bartenders and working i love that right there's like a big tip jar out for the bartenders that's great all my drug dealers during this you have to even the legal ones i earnestly wonder what happened to that guy who used to sell me coke not that i ever bought it Not that I ever bought it. I mean, let's be honest. There's only like two or three ways that a guy who ever sold you Coke ends up. You know what I'm saying? It's like a kid jail or just like working at Home Depot now.

What is happening with the people who sell like, you know, because weed dealers, I don't know if anyone was still selling weed. I guess we know a couple of people who might. Maybe like in Portland and stuff. Maybe, but like, that'd be a tough, that'd be like owning a blockbuster still, you know,

where like, I don't know. Drugs sell them. It's drugs. What are you talking about? You can go get weed. You can have it delivered. I'm talking about like a drug dealer who gets it from like some dude, you know,

I bet you traps are still jumping. Do you think people are still doing Coke right now? Yes. Drug dealers, sure, but not weed dealers, I'm saying. I don't think people are ever, ever not doing coke. David, I just, I got to go back to this. Weed dealers, I'm saying. Not a drug dealer, a weed dealer.

I do not think weed dealers are doing okay. I think weed dealers are selling even more than coke dealers. I'm not talking about a sanctioned business weed delivery place. I'm talking about a weed dealer. i know about drug dealer dude it's weed and everybody's in the house somebody who gets in their miata and comes over and delivers you weed that wasn't from a business i think those dudes are still trapping for sure if they were doing work before this they're definitely doing more work after i would say yeah everybody wants weed right now my mom's smoking weed right now we're in the house dog all right all right if we're still if you could still if you could still get it david if people are still delivering pizzas they're

delivering weed bro i guarantee there were never illegal pizzas south dakota didn't even shut down the bars you don't think there's some dude giving people fucking $20 stress sacks right now? I hate to... You're a nut job. Going back to this. Okay, maybe I'll amend my statement. Places with legal weed, weed dealers are not doing well. Yeah. No, that's...

Because the weed is legal. That's not... But that's been true before this, I think. Yeah, this is top white vocalists of all time is what you're doing right now. Well, maybe I didn't know what I was talking about, dude. No, I said... Maybe I wasn't't clear enough and i apologize for that white male vocalist that's what i said somebody will somebody will we somebody made the search even more specific by saying uh between like 1970 and 1980 or something like that. Yeah. Elegant.

Gosh, when was I supposed to go see Wynwood with Ivan? Like right now? Man. I have no idea. I don't know what day it is. I think it's May now. I have no idea. I think it's May now. I was walking around and it was Friday.

It certainly is when this drops. Yeah. Yeah, because it's my birthday on Tuesday. Oh, yeah. Yo, that's right. Yeah. Shout out to David. 39 years young today 39 dude 39 baby 39 all all four of your kids are coming back into town to celebrate with you oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah little octavius jr uh-huh he's not mine but i love him like he's mine you that's family's about love man it's not biology that's all it is love don't know nothing

about blood you know what i mean blood is thicker than water dude i don't know if that's true i think blood is thicker than water i feel like i got thin blood you might well you're from the mountains yeah yeah yeah yeah i got my hemoglobin's fucked up yeah sean's got that sticky blood yeah sean's got sticky blood dude yeah, sticky crip blood. Young sticky crip blood. I am Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, Ian Carmel on Instagram, Ian Carmel on Jewish CVS pharmacy app. I like Jewish better on Jewish CVS. There's a lot of Jewishies out there, too. Shout out to Jewishies.

Is that a good term? Yeah, I don't know if it's inherently problematic it's not like comedian is it where it's like yeah there's like it's it's a no it's okay jewess jewish i i don't know i think anything anything that is gendered is at some level i just want to know if i can be like oh yeah she's a great jewess well i was going to try to do a bit about it like they're because actors it's now just actor. Like, it's not gendered. People are saying actor.

Which is true, because you never said, like, dentress or doctress or anything. It was always just like a dentist or a doctor. It's weird. I've heard people try to make pimpstress work. Pimpstress? Yeah. Well, is that like Pinterest, but, like, a little more edgy?

No, I think it's a woman who sells people for sex. Oh, okay. Sorry. I was, I was way off. I thought it was like Pinterest, the popular website. You thought it was arts and crafts over here. No, no, no. Yeah.

I'm talking about sex trafficking. It's crafty. I'll tell you that. I thought it was like places you would like store pictures of stuff you might like to have painted onto the hood of like a Cadillac. Well, this is all over somebody's got to airbrush us on a on a on a cadillac or yes or if you have the means why wait let's do it now do it right now um i actually have something to promote and i should have done this in the last episode too and i might record it oh yeah you should have yeah you do boy please watch game on premiering on cbs on may 27th it's like a

fun sports competition show kind of like a grown-up version of legends of the hidden temple mixed with like me having to go dance with the laker girls or kick a field goal to the rams game it's whenever survivor was on so we're taking over Survivor's time slot. You're taking over Survivor's time slot? You killed Survivor, dude. You killed Survivor, dude. That's buck. You're the new Survivor. We're the new Survivor.

Not Survivor anymore. Lone Survivor, bro. Lone Survivor. Oh, that's a book I've read. Are you going to get naked? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm naked right now.

I was at one of the tapings. I know one of the things that went down. It was awesome. Really, really fun. It's me, Venus Williams, Rob Gronkowski, Bobby Lee, a rotating cast of guests everywhere from James Corden to J.R. Smith. It's amazing. It's really fun.

I hope you'll tune in and watch it May 20th on CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. Now, J.R. Smith is that very attractive basketball player that I think is attractive and you guys don't. I don't think that he's not attractive i don't find him ugly is that one of the people we we came to loggerheads about you guys really you guys were really being uh you know pardon my french you're really ragging on me about thinking he was hot so no i rag on you for thinking chris paul is ugly because you're a fool yeah that's more what it is that's the root of all this tension david you need to open your mind's eye bro i'm not talking about what he looks like i'm talking about the inside

bro yeah you mean that guy who's like borderline a philanthropist maybe i'm not talking about that the good he's a good man all right stop dude off the court doesn't he punch people in the balls and stuff who doesn't you're thinking you spit you spit sunflower seeds in a stranger's cars but you're over here judging my man chris paul you're out here getting in in car chases yeah but chris paul is a bad guy it's not my fault that i live long enough to see myself become the villain i didn't have anything you're out here doing delonte West shit and you're judging Chris Paul. I am. You had sex

with LeBron's mom. He had sex with LeBron's mom. You did. Which is like, I don't know how I would handle that. Alright, stop recording. None of this can get out. I can't. Did Delonte bring a gun to practice too?

No, Gilbert Arenas brought a gun. That guy's got a lot of problems. Delonte's really going through. Did Delonte bring a gun to practice, too? No, Gilbert Arenas brought a gun. That guy's got a lot of problems. Delonte's really going through it. Delonte West did get pulled over with a guitar case full of guns and swords or something like that. Swords? He was on a three-wheel motorcycle and got pulled over and had a guitar case full of... Now that we've gone deep into this, he is someone who has mental health challenges. So, you know.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Delonte West is going through it. Get well soon, Delonte West. You're in the NBA and you had sex with your teammate's mom. Oh, shit. How does that even? You're in the NBA. There's like a bunch of other people that have sex.

And you zero in on Gloria James? You could have sex with a pop star and you had sex with lebron's but it's you know i've actually i've heard that uh i've heard that most people aren't really attracted to athletes so i don't know how accurate that really is who told you that somebody nobody nobody david i was kidding you drink the drink the stumptown concentrate but you know for god's sake uh how do i transition again sometimes i just lose it sometimes i don't know how we got to where we are i don't know how we got here how we got to where last thing i'm gonna say before we get back on track drink the stumptown concentrate does sound like a blow jay i'm not saying that you should incorporate it or not it's a portland specific i'm just saying

that's there it's on the table if you want it is all I'm saying. I'll pick it up. Yeah, there you go. Drink the Stumptown Concentrate. Oh, God, that makes me sick. Now, we are here today not only to make Sean Jordan sick. That's how I do it. That's how I do it. Yeah.

But also to fantasy draft people who use a middle initial in their name. Yes. You're Sean S. Jordan's, if you will. Yeah, you will. Please don't, but yeah. But if you will. Are we, are there any, but I kind of, that's why I didn't try to clear it up.

And are there any parameters on this? Like any, any rules? I didn't put any, no. Okay, all right. I mean, that they use their middle initial. And like, I think also I went by their, they have to go full name, middle initial, full name. I don't think any of that I went by.

Yeah, it can't be like initial, initial. Yeah, yeah. It can't be like N initial yeah yeah it can't be like nwa no what okay it can't be jj reddick or web debois or like yeah that makes more sense than nwa you know there's a little initial in there what okay sean no it can't be jay robert oppenheimer jay robert Oppenheimer, where it's initial name name. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It can't be J.P. Morgan. No.

No, yeah. I was only using full name, initial full name. It can't be R.J. Blaylock, a name my older brother went by for the first 15 to 20 years of his life. R.J.'s good, though. Adam's brother still goes by R.J., I think. Does he? Yeah, yeah.

I like R.J.'s like a guy you could trust. Oh, and you can trust R.J. Blaylock. I'll tell you that. You can trust Bear Blaylock. I'll tell you that you can trust. That's what I'm saying. I feel like RJ Blaylock. RJ is going to like help you move your fridge. Absolutely. He will.

Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Now, the way they determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the two of you. And we throw on shoot. Here we go. I'm shooting up.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Damn it. David wins yeah i won i flipped him off in the middle of it thinking that might throw him off and then i threw scissors anyways rock solid baby i didn't see that david wins david wins again at some point when we're allowed to go back to bars because i don't want to do it over zoom we have to have a talk about your rock paper scissors strategy sean you. You know, my buddy... We have to sit down and stare God in the face. Rat always... I've seen Rat.

He always throws scissors. He tells people he's going to throw scissors, and he wins, like, most of the time. Something similar may be happening in our games of rock paper scissors, and you've yet to pick up on it. David always throwing rock? I don't know all kinds of shit. David, you won rock paper

scissors and as the winner it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that great question i've been gardening and there are these hoses that you can get they're not they have correct term now david i'll thank you to uh remain silent while i explain to you for the 190th time, probably, what a serpentine draft is. I've told you a million times the plural of hose is hose. This isn't Pymtrist.

This is the podcast, and I'm trying to explain to you. You get these garden tubes of water, and they have little holes in them through the whole thing and when you're gardening what you do is you take it on like a flower bed or the plants that you're trying to do and you start on one side and you drape it across and then you kind of turn it and drape it

over to the other side and you kind of just go back and forth across the whole flower bed and the water is distributed evenly so all of the plants grow and prosper. So you just kind of take the hose and you just kind of line it back and forth in the flower bed, sort of as a serpentine situation. Do the flowers at either side get double the water? No. Oh, man. No, they don't. If there was ever a time I wish this was a visual podcast. Yeah, I'm naked. It's not. So I don't. If there was ever a time I wished this was a visual podcast. Yeah, I'm naked.

It's not. So I don't see why anybody cares. I can actually clip this out because the video is recorded. I just never post it. Oh, you got to show. Please do. Can we do that as the preview for this episode? Whatever my face look like.

With the EMAC in the background right there. Oh, man. Yeah. look like with the emac in the background right there oh man yeah so it's just like one of those flowers that waters uh all of your or one of those hoses that waters all of your flowers in a uh back and forth motion okay excellent basically if you pick fourth and third in the first round you pick first in the second round yeah that's exactly what i said that's what i heard me say all right david what will the order of today's draft be? It's going David, Sean, Ian. Hot corner. All right.

This is what I predicted the order would be because I knew Sean would lose rock, paper, scissors. And by the way, I want you guys, before you start tweeting at me, I'm making up all middle names for this. So it's what I feel like it is. Yeah, I didn't think of that but i'm gonna do that too me afl af email kuiper i'm going off book you're giving him too much dude he called ian a coward yesterday i laughed my ass off he goes he just said some shit and ian's like i wish this draft

could get a zero or something and he goes put me on you coward yeah i gave him an f minus i said i gave his i gave his rating an f minus oh my god i laughed so hard take the power back i think it was the rom-com one and i forget what he said i anyway anyway you know what you can't you can't rate my opinion yeah you can't i love that he's just so intertwined with the afe lore now that people are now drafting it's hilarious he's getting untwined. I'm not. You're untwined, Mel Kiper. You're out. I've always drafted from my Corazon.

Yeah. I draft from my Corleone. And I draft to impress AFE Todd McShay. Who's also out there? Mel Kiper, your day in the sun is over. Listen, I do this for Donovan Strain and the rest of the students at my Bidussi dojo. Oh, yeah. David knows he got the Bidussi belt, finally.

I'm doing this for Pup. I'm only doing this for the band Pup, Marissa and I. I'm wearing a Pup t-shirt. Oh, hell yeah. Shout out, shout out. I'm also doing this for Max B, Free the Wave. Hell yeah, hell yeah. Okay, yeah.

So, David, Sean, Ian. And we will get to that first pick right after this short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by policy genius policy genius i'm going to hit you we're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick now 40 of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age of course you do i wish i'd done everything at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage.

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the only thing a book can do for me is press a beautiful flower yeah only thing a book can do for me is teach me how to make another podcast yeah that's right the only thing a book can do for me is hide a rock hammer wait what hide a rock hammer if he's breaking out of prison you guys just googled a bunch of people's middle initials and found out what they were and that's your list right no no i'm kidding okay god damn it i'm trying to work i'm at work sean i don't know if you i don't know what you're doing i'm at work so i'm just taking orange orange q julius every time dude my rap it's actually oran o-r-a-n much like much like the r&b singer oran juice jones oran juice jones absolutely oran juice

jones yeah yeah yeah juice is loose david your first pick my first pick obviously so easy i'm taking samuel lafayette jackson yeah yeah now i don't know you made it up right you made up lafayette yeah i have no idea what his middle name is like luther or something like that it's lafayette today yeah yep i mean that should i go look it up or do you want to like no no i don't like living in the mystery i think it's fun i remember back when people could just make shit up that's what i want to go to yeah shane still lives in that era i love it like that character uh from cheers who just made shit up i like that guy oh yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck this internet man so yeah samuel lafayette jackson

yep he seems like the uh the actor that started that trend as far as actors are concerned you think so i don't think that's true oh i, I looked up what his middle name is. What is it? It's Leroy. That's good, too. That's pretty good. That's awesome. I feel like Leroy is more of a first.

That's what I never understand why people, they waste all the juice on the middle name. You know what I'm saying? Like, when your middle name is like, why would that not be the first one? Samuel? Like, we should call him Leroy S. Jackson, which is also call him leroy s jackson which is also a really good name also a really good yo why'd you put the heat in the middle damn i don't get it i never understand i think i think sometimes you like some some people can be samuel l jackson and some people can't be samuel or like some people can go by leroy and some people can't go by leroy and you don't know

that when your kid is born yeah you're not like that's a leroy ass baby it's kind of a boy named sue thing where it's like if you if you name your kid leroy are they going to become a leroy yeah that's yes they are no yeah here's all i'm saying i've never met a dude named leroy who i was like nah that's not a leroy i've never met a dude named leroy i'll tell you that never in my life never met a leroy who have i met that's a leroy you've known me 10 years last 10 years of my life what i've met i don't know you're right yeah i don't think i've ever met a leroy i've met a lee and a roy it was a white ghetto you grew up in you probably met some leroy you might have met a leroy you want to talk about a tough name i knew a guy named royce that is a tough fucking name how tall was he taller than me

was he the five nine always about the five nine damn it yeah come on man that one was like shit i'll scoop you the applesauce but you gotta eat it yep sorry guys yeah that's okay that's okay now if somebody tweets at me and they that i seem bummed out they're right samuel lafayette jackson with the first pick sean jordan time for your first pick my first pick i'm going michael jump street fox oh jump street yeah 21 jump street did you ever watch that show son you seem like you would watch that no i never did that was i i i know that it was richard grieco and johnny depp that's where they got their start it was a tv show i always thought it was a movie but it was a tv show the movies are high quality though too yeah the movies are great those the the later ones the channing channing tatum yeah and then your boy yeah

they're fantastic uh jonah hill jonah hill your boy my boy that my boy. That's a, I did the, Oh God, I did the bit. I called somebody. It was like talking to Laura. I was like, yeah, your boy, whoever. And she goes, my boy. And I'm like, almost seven years of me doing the bit. And this is the one time where you're like, why is he my boy? It's like, he's not really upset about that bit though.

Have you noticed that? It's like really easy to ruffle somebody's feathers when you're like hey you know your boy lbj people are like whoa whoa whoa yeah your boy alex p keaton dude you just took your boy alex p keaton i did michael j fox is a middle initial who played a middle initial there's not too many of those that's inception that's that's sitcom inception that's probably why i picked him first he's been playing in this for years. What's your favorite Michael J. Fox role? Well, he had a role in Scrubs, which reminded me he had a guest role in Scrubs that was great.

And it was after... I've been thinking a lot about Scrubs. Oh, he was the doctor who had Parkinson's. But, well, he was hiding it. And it was such a cool... No, I'll be talking about Scrubs a grip. But it was such a cool thing because he did play the role with his Parkinson's and he was trying to hide it in the show.

He was somebody who was trying to hide that he had Parkinson's and OCD. He had like crazy OCD, but it was, I don't know. It was just fantastic. I just, I think it is, it was just such a super good role and Teen Wolf rules, by the way. And whenever I think of, whenever I think of somebody who goes by middle initial they're they're the first two people i think of are sam jackson and michael j fox yeah uh yeah i just figured yeah pick him early get a good strong good strong lead because i got a few passion picks in here too uh surprise surprise but yeah michael

j fox absolutely here's the thing though i mean scrubs is your favorite michael j fox role that's crazy yeah i mean i like it more than back to the that's that's what about even i like him better in fucking back to the future enthusiasm that i like him and he's dope and curb your enthusiasm he is dope you know what's funny is i just i completely forgot about back to the future just now until you said it and i was like well yeah obviously it's back to the future it's crazy that you say michael j fox and think of scrubs first that's wild to me only because they were just talking about it on the podcast i listened to yesterday what podcast did you listen to yesterday called fake doctors there's no other podcasts see we balance we balance each other out this is good this is a good thing

see we balance each other out this is good this is a good thing yeah Michael Jump Street Fox Michael J Fox it's time for my first and second picks as it is with my first pick I'm gonna take oh shit this is tough

it's hard to crack it open there's one I can't believe is on the board still I can not really? yeah I mean there's only two picks I swear is on the board still i i can not really yeah yeah i mean there's only two picks i swear to god i thought you were gonna pick this person first who david was gonna pick this person first yeah i thought david was uh-huh i mean there's a chance uh i'm going to take first ah i'm gonna take franklin d roosevelt damn it oh yeah i thought

i was gonna be able to get him late i thought thought Franklin D. Roosevelt would go much later. No way, dude. Franklin D. Roosevelt, the president who dragged us out of the Great Depression, got the New Deal passed. That's my favorite deal. The New Deal is the best one. People are always like, hey, David, what's your deal? I'm like, the New Deal. The New Deal. After that, it was five for five at Arby's.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then two for Tuesdays. Yeah, and then buy one hat, get the second one half off of lids that's a good deal oh my god that one i really ran through that one that deal i feel like when lids when they were drawing up the blueprint for lids they're like okay so every other hat's half off yeah that's just how the store is gonna be i bought so many hats from lids and i have nothing to show for it, I've bought straight up... You have a lot of hats. No, I don't even. I don't know where they are.

Yeah, when I was 19, I thought I would never lose that New York Mets alternate hat that was pretty cool. And now, like, where is it? What was the New Deal? The New Deal? Oh, it was like the Hoover Dam and stuff, right? I don't know.

And also, did he do the did he do the interstate system or was that not franklin d roosevelt it was probably franklin d roosevelt i feel like he it was all this shit he commissioned for america to put everybody back to work yeah well and then yeah i feel like he was the interstates but um i could be wrong but yeah i think he was so he had the first new deal the second new deal he's good on conservation he also found a new addition yeah dear he found a new addition as well a lot of people don't know that that was his newest deal then we had the new deal and now the new addition ladies and gentlemen bobby brown he had like he had like the wpa so like if you go to

sanford like he gave money to artists he had the uh i think it was the uh tennessee valley relief fund like and stuff like that he just like poured a ton of money back into like the government yeah he bet on us man he bet on us to like drag us out of so the war was a big thing that ended the great depression as well you can't discount that yeah also uh but it was also like a reinvestment he like gate like poured a ton of money his government did into like schools and like like the arts and like in projects like the yeah like building dams and like probably the interstate system i think you're right uh he was just an amazing president he also served like four terms also yeah delano is a

gangster ass middle name it is dude if now delano is like if somebody if you knew somebody named delano delano is like what you say like where you're like i'm not even supposed to be at delano's house my girl's gonna kill me i'm not even supposed to be over here yeah i'm like i gotta leave i have to leave you land in vegas and you find out that delano is going to be sharing a room with you and you just stay at the airport and catch the next flight back home dude fdr did so much the social security act started unemployment disability no he's the man dude yeah that's like such a great pick that's such a great pick a big like really taxed large corporations and wealthy individuals just a little bit of what we need

right now baby yeah didn't he say bully a lot too i like that that was teddy roosevelt damn that was the yeah teddy was the rough rider right that's right who's also quite dope if you watch the ken burns documentary uh about the national park i it. Teddy's in a heavy. Yeah, FDR. Also, his wife, Eleanor, was a lesbian. He was a man with polio married to someone who was at least bisexual. We've all been there. I only know that from Wedding Crashers.

A lot of people think you wouldn't learn anything from Wedding Crashers. Do a lot of people think that? A lot of people think Wedding Crashers isn't educational at all. But I learned that Eleanor's wife was a lesbian um so i'm gonna take this i know there is somebody i know who you were referring to sean somebody you're surprised is still on the board but i gotta go with somebody who i i that would be like kind of a uh a little b pick for not a little b who did you take a little boozy pick for me uh so i'm going to take john c reilly damn it shit yeah that was my next pick damn it you bang bang fucker this is nobody was gonna pick michael j fox were they no i wasn't gonna pick michael j fox i'd fucking a man i should have picked john reilly as much

as i love spin city i probably wasn't gonna to take Michael J. Fox. I forgot about Spin City. John C. Reilly. Fucking fantastic. He can do anything. He can do anything. And forever. He was in Days of Thunder. He's a million years old.

He was in Gangs of New York. A lot of people forget about that. I mean this with all respect. He's the most beautiful, ugly dude. Yeah. He is ugly, but he is beautiful. A hundred percent. He's ugly. He's so ugly, it's beautiful. Well, look at Boogie. He is ugly, but he is beautiful. A hundred percent. He's ugly.

He's so ugly. It's beautiful. Well, look at Boogie Nights when he was like in shape too. You're like, oh, he's buff. And he's like a tough. Yeah. Yeah. He's big.

I love that guy. He dresses cool. Yeah, man. Chauncey. I don't know anything about him in real life. I don't either. He's one of those people that like I've never, never heard a story about or anything. He just does it.

Which makes me feel like he's probably pretty cool yeah he's flying under the radar he did like he did like weird tim and eric stuff too you know the steve brule character yeah so he's you know he has like a sense of humor he can play anything and how old is he he's 54 yeah damn john c reilly's 54 man that fucked my whole shit up how old he is no how did he got picked i really i really thought i was getting see john c riley's the benefit of being like a beautiful ugly guy and also like kind of having that receding hairline from the minute we saw him in her pop culture dude yeah he's been he's been 42 the entire time we've known him you know what i mean i've been i've been saying this for years.

You got to come in the game busted. Come in busted. What did he come in with? Was it Boogie Nights? What? Is that kind of the first thing that he dropped in with? No, dude. He's been in that.

Like I said, he was in Days of Thunder, dude. Yeah. He's been in shit since the 80s. Well, right. But I'm saying that thrust him into our eyes. He was in What's Eating Gilbert Grape, too. Yeah, dude in like really one of those guys when you look at it he was in everything crazy this dude fucking works bro yeah he's like he's like he's like a lot of people have said he's like as far as working he's like the white samuel l jackson yeah he kind of is like the white samuel

jackson where they're both in five billion movies. Yeah, he was in Hoffa. He was in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. The River Wild, remember that? River Wild was big. He was in Heart 8. Dude, he was in Heart 8. He's been on PT Anderson the whole time. Boogie Nights.

Yeah. Yeah, man. He's out here. Damn. Yep, that's solid. Magnolia. He's in Magnolia. He's great in Magnolia.

Did you watch that the other night, by the way? I did. Zach and I watched it. I i have never here's my problem with magnolia i always get too high and then i can't and then i can't get it you have to be in the mood for magnolia it also takes place right by where you live really it'll be a trip yeah right by where you live it takes place on magnolia that's what it's named after the street oh that's right by my house i'm saying dude man maybe i'll go over there and try to catch a whiff, see if I can get some vibes. Sean, time for your second pick. My second pick, I'm going with William Heathcliff Macy.

Heathcliff? Yeah. William H. Macy. Bill H. Macy. It took me a minute. How come character actors it always seems have the middle act although samuel well uh first of all i forgot to middle name franklin d roosevelt and john c riley so i'm gonna go

uh franklin d day roosevelt just you know because it's appropriate and john carmel by the sea the way the town spells it riley not the way my family spells it uh the reason you get actors using middle initials so much is because when you register for the screen actors guild you have to have a completely unique name so if there was already a john riley which there probably was because this you know the irish are filthy in hollywood they're everywhere you can't everywhere you can't spread spreading the seed and dirtying the water i've been saying that or there's probably a sam jackson you know because it's a fairly common name but that's why you drop the when you register the screen actors guild and when you get accredited in the movie samuel l

jackson you know john c reilly not me baby i got my whole name in seg. Me too. Hell yeah. I'm not a member. I apologize. But you have an EMAC. Right there. I registered under it. My name is Cornelius Boatsports. As far as the Screen Actors Guild is concerned.

For tax purposes, my name is Cornelius Boatsports. Actually, this is weird. Can you make the check out to cornelius boats yeah i don't wanna it's that or cash i don't want to get into it john uh bill h macy bill h macy i'm going off the boogie nights connection because he absolutely kills it in that right but then you know obviously fargo it's yeah i mean just fantastic even mystery men well the cooler was also a really good one that i don't think like a ton of people know about shane torres's favorite show shameless shameless yeah dude i can't get into it me neither i shane has tried everything but staple my eyes open to get me into that show i can't you know what it

feels like and it's like i feel bad because other people do this about shows and i'm like that's not a fair criticism but every time i watch shameless i'm like i don't think any of you guys have ever been broke ah this isn't what it feels like it just says it just doesn't do it just never did it for me aj likes it for me it just never like i know a lot of people who's like taste i respect who like it shane likes it i mostly respect his taste yeah people love it i would like it i'm sure i'd like it if i if i really gave it a shot i don't i just don't think i've given it like a full shot but i bet i'd be all right with it bill h maizey billy h also in also in magnolia he is in magnolia yeah absolutely yeah

a gentleman of magnolia didn't he do am i why am i like oh he's a fucking pleasantville didn't he do a color brothers movie he kills it in pleasantville pleasantville is such a good movie i feel like people brush it off as like it's not gonna be that great but it's star-studded and it it's i kind of you know it tries to tackle racism and it does a decent job of like putting, you know, trying to put things in perspective. It's, I don't know.

It's just a really good movie. We were talking before this and you said like, Hey man, a, if he's going really well, but like the one thing I feel like I don't do enough on there is draft people who are in the movie wild hogs. And like this way you just got somebody who's in wild hogs.

So like, congratulations. Tim Allen doesn't have a middle initial that he goes by. So, you know, yeah. Yeah. Wild hogs. So like, congratulations. Alan doesn't have a middle initial that he goes by. So, you know, yeah, yeah. Wild hogs. I didn't want to say it,

but if I didn't have my shirt on, you'd see that I have a fresh wild hogs tattoo. And that's actually why I picked it. It's the full stomach. Uh, Bill H. Macy, David,

time for your second and third picks. My second pick. I almost took a, I almost peed my pants in this guy's house. Uh, I'm picking Booker Tenderoni Washington Booker T?

Yes The T is short for Tenderoni A lot of people don't know that My mom has some friends in Tuskegee And we went and visited And it was incredible One of the greatest times of my life I didn't go to college but I wanted to go to Tuskegee for years

I think Booker T is great but yeah also almost peed my pants in his house I was on a tour of the oh god what's that mansion in Northern California the publishing empire Hearst

I had to use one of the Hearst castles roped off toilets because I was going to piss myself as a kid I have to pee right now and they were like those toilets work yeah i didn't know that oh yeah that's the hilarious thing about children is you have no idea of like you have no idea of the piss economy like you just like i would just my mom would be like we're going on a three-hour drive and i would get in the car knowing i had to pee yeah you're like i gotta do it when we get right now dog drinking a capri sun

having to pee already she'd be like did you go to the bathroom i'd be like yeah i'm not a fucking idiot yeah i went last night what are you talking about what are you oh okay so now we're peeing every day get out of my business yeah i kind of have to pee right now, which means, I don't know, I'll probably pee in May or something like that. What's it up to you? It's funny watching Laura's nephew when we'll be outside, like jumping on the tramp, and he'll just be holding his penis, like pinching it shut.

I'm like, you need to go to the bathroom? He's like, no, I'm good. And I'm like, dude, yes, you do. You're holding it shut. Just because jumping on the trampoline is so fun. It's also, by the way, follow me as an adult. I'll drink three glasses of water before bed. Like, I just don't give a fuck.

I do, too. I don't mind waking up and peeing because it's like, ooh, it's only three. I get to go back to bed. Like we talked about last episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This comes up a lot. Booker T. Washington's real middle name, Tal farrow which is amazing almost as good as tenderoni well it's a different kind of tender yeah yeah talia farrow's italian for tenderoni yeah that's

a lot of people don't know that do you want to tell the people who booker t washington is in case they don't know uh he was born a slave and then i he can't even call him an abolitionist he founded the Tuskegee Institute he's just like a black leader from the slavery days or post slavery days go to Tuskegee I really like I don't I guess it doesn't come up a lot but like it was like a

pretty formative experience for me that's where I learned about George Washington it was just like where is it Alabamaabama yes sir you gotta fly into atlanta that's kiki yeah he gave that speech the atlanta compromise where it was like all right the government's not gonna fucking help us that was a that was a big deal yeah also wedb dubois not a big fan, but, you know, whatever. It was a complicated time. What are you going to do?

But that was the Southern versus the Northern perspective, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And he was born a slave. But, yeah, Pockety Washington, man. Good call. Teddy Roosevelt, your boy from earlier, invited him to the White House to dine. And this is what it's like when worlds collide. What?

Nice, dude. That's just the worlds colliding. I'm rolling with you. Power dine. And this is what it's like when worlds collide. What? Nice, dude. That's just the worlds colliding. Are you rolling with me? Because I'm rolling with you. Power Man 5000 is perhaps the band that is the least, I don't know, the least connected without being a racist band that has like the least to do with Booker T. Washington out of anything. I think that might be the case.

Yeah. I was like, what? Rob Zombie's Little Brothers Band. Is that what Power man 5000 is if i remember correctly if my late 90s scholarship is holding firm that is true i was just saying that the uh the worlds were colliding at the white house right there so that was why i was singing it get up off this wisconsin death trip i knew like other power man 5000 songs damn you were in it yeah burkard d washington great pick and your third pick my next pick uh was my first pick but i knew i could get her late i'm picking mary javier blige

yeah yeah yeah i'm going down so good that song her when her and method man sang um all i need to get by all i need to get by that dude that was like one of the first videos i remember seeing where i was like oh that is sick like they it's gritty looking and she just looks so sick she's got a bucket hat turn me on she makes me feel shit that song be without you that song is like i don't even love the perspective that she's coming from. Like, I don't, you don't ever want to be like, like wide open, but like Mary J. Blige sings about being wide open and you feel so, feel so good. Like that be without you song. She's like, she's like, I'll be waiting up until you get home.

Cause I can't sleep without you, babe. And you're like, fuck man. I feel that shit. Not going to cry. Yeah. She gets the shovel and the gravel yo she feel like you know how usher feel makes it sound cool to cheat yeah she makes it almost sound cool to get your heart broken because she's an ox yeah how does that song go

you were just uh talking about oh uh it's like i'll be waiting up we've been too strong for too long because i can't sleep without you babe and i'll be waiting up until you get home it's like a wholesome i was just trying to get my just trying to get it in my mind but yeah i know what she was in entourage she invented the word dancery hateration as well hateration percolating that's how i found out what percolate percolation or percolating i had no idea that was a word you don't have one of those coffee pots that percolated no i didn't you never had a bong uh no i never had a bong i never had a bong because i never liked weed ever in my life i had a bong once and then zach broke it and bought a different bong yeah your bong is crazy now it's like you mean the kush monster 5000 bro it says kush on it

i wish it said kush you boys want to come over and crush some kush because i got this fucking bong that samson can't pick up bro get into it i've smoked a fair amount of weed in my in my uh tenure you know yeah that bong is like i can't even deal with it i don't know who it's for it's for zach yeah i've seen zach deal with it pretty well it is like you got to have your wits about you he approaches it like it's the gym it's amazing oh yeah dude it's like a challenge that's a bong rips and i wish i could be that disciplined in anything no yeah i can't even do it with smoking weed no that level of discipline to smoking weed it's fascinating i'm very laissez-faire about the way i smoke weed man i

just sometimes i won't even smoke a whole bowl i'll just like take a hit and then like leave it in the bathroom or something like yeah that sounds tight that's how i want to do it well if you're freestyling so well that you like it's like okay the bong is not important right now what's important is this fucking rich vein of like freestyle that i've like connected to somehow yeah sometimes you get like that word run that you're just like holy shit everything rhymes with carpet anyways yeah mary j blige that's. That's my fourth pick. Excellent pick. Is that what you were thinking was, like, you were surprised was left on the board, Sean? No.

Really? Okay. Well, let's see if it lasts another round. Sean, time for your third pick. Well, I'm picking Michael Beatstreet Jordan. And I don't give a fuck what you two have to say about it. Oh, that guy who's not a very good actor? He's a fantastic actor. You guys are both out of your minds.

Where's the rings? And I could have waited until the fifth round to get him, but I didn't want to throw that level of disrespect towards his way. I didn't want to do that. All I'm saying, he's a champion.

Where's the rings? He's, dude, don't, don't go down that road. What do you mean? Because he doesn't have any Oscars? I don't even think he has any noms. No. He might not.

He has, the only serious role he's got, David, we're not laughing right now this isn't a funny podcast right now i'll trot out my joke again michael b jordan more like scotty b pippen yeah no tipping obviously because he had contract issues he's only had a shot at one dramatic role and it was fruitvale station and it was great by the way a lot of dramatic issues he's only had a shot at one dramatic role and it was fruitvale station and it was great by the way a lot of dramatic but he's gonna get an oscar nomination for creed you think he's doing comedies every role that awkward moment is hilarious and he was in the wire if you could get an oscar for tv he would have got it there you can't it's

called an emmy ian has one i was waiting for ian to bring it up he didn't win one of those either i have one in the house yeah he didn't win anything he was too young the wire did he was a part of the wire i don't know sylvester stallone won oscars for rocky so what's this whole creed thing well that's a little different you creed wasn't an oscar movie because it was uh i don't know i just michael b jordan and i'll hear nothing i will hear nothing about how he's a bad actor he's fantastic you guys will come around i i don't know. I just Michael B. Jordan. And I'll hear nothing. I will hear nothing about how he's a bad actor. He's fantastic. You guys will come around.

I don't think we will. I think you will. I think both of you will. I think everyone involved on this Zoom is a better actor than Michael B. Jordan. I'm not. I figured that you are. Joking aside. You think we're going to come around? You think we're going to come around, Sean?

Is that me being a better actor than he does acting like you guys are going to come around? Yeah. Well, no, no, no. I i'm just gonna say ian be skeptical you have to give the keeps on giving we might i mean we might i don't know i don't i'm not i haven't written them off completely i'm just like i have 100 david be waiting for fucking this guy to make a good movie what's your favorite michael b jordan performance sean i mean i really liked fruitvale station obviously he's great in the wire but i don't know fruit it's sucks that fruitvale station is such a good movie because it's such a shitty story.

But he was amazing. That was right when I moved to the Bay Area that happened. Was it? Yeah, I was like, damn, there's shooting dudes on the train out here? He's fantastic. And I love romantic comedies. If more people knew what that awkward moment was, if I felt like it would have got a little more traction, I definitely would have picked that in the draft.

But I think he's fantastic in that movie as well okay uh michael b jordan it is time for my time for my third and fourth picks as it is a serpentine draft get it with my third pick i'm gonna take vivica a fox god there you go yeah yeah get off my list i'm sorry fuck i Fuck. I just fucking love Vivica. Independence Day, she's fantastic. She was in Brody Call. Her name was Listerine. She's fantastic. She was great in the fucking, in the Kill Bill movies.

Oh, yeah. She's like a utility player. She can really do it all. She can do it all. She's amazing. She was on Days of Our Lives back in the day. She's been in the game since, she's another person who's been in the game since like forever. She's amazing. She was on Days of Our Lives back in the day. She's been in the game since. She's another person who's been in the game since like forever.

Oh, yeah. Independence Day. She's like been through it. Yeah. Don't be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice on the hood. She was in it. Soul food. Set it off.

Yeah. Set it off. Fucking rules, dude. That weird movie Boat Trip that we don't know why they made it. Yeah. Why did they make Boat Trip? I don't know, man. I don't know. we don't know why they made it yeah why did they make boat trip i don't know man i don't know i don't think i ever saw it that was with cuba gooding jr yeah it was real weird was that the one where he was in drag he but no he pretends to be gay oh he pretends to be gay i don't it was wild yeah but yeah vivica fox is solid man yeah i love

a vivica a fox yeah You forget she's also in, she's another Kirby enthusiasm, or she plays Loretta. Yeah, she's solid, dude. They dated, right? And Curb, her and Larry dated? Is that right? Yeah.

God, that's awesome. Yeah. Time for my fourth pick. God, fucking tough. Damn it. It is tough, because you took Vivica and Franklin. I had to.

When you draft a running back, you got to draft a backup too. You know what I mean? Oh, I understand. I understand. Listen, we're just trying to put the best teams on the field possible. I'm going to take John F. Kennedy. All right. Damn.

Yeah. John Fitzgerald Kennedy. I got two presidents on my list. Two presidents? Well, now we got to call you presidential. I almost immediately regret taking John F. Kennedy. No, why? He was great.

He's amazing. He's just having two presidents. That's fine. I love that was the quickest turnaround I've ever seen, I think. No, you got to fill the time. Don't worry about it. I love that was the quickest turnaround I've ever seen. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta know. You gotta feel the, you gotta feel the time. Don't worry about it. I do have to listen.

He's fucking like, I honestly thought, bro, he's great. You don't have to explain us. The man is a war hero. He was a war hero. The first Catholic president, which doesn't do much for me, but it seems to be important to some people. which doesn't do much for me, but it seems to be important to some people.

The whole Camelot thing was amazing. Like him. Well, and like the cold war too. I mean, he, he had to like, kind of,

kind of navigate the cold war, right? Yeah. I mean, that's so gnarly that we didn't all die that anybody got us through that. So that, that right there is amazing. There was the, the,

the space race, you know, he was like uh we're going to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things not because they are easy but because they are hard yeah that's right also all that crazy sexy was rumored to her yeah dude yeah he was fucking he was like fucking marilyn monroe and stuff like that she's saying that sexy happy birthday mr president thing to him yeah dude yeah he was fucking he was like fucking marilyn monroe and stuff like that she sang that sexy happy birthday mr president thing to him she did which i didn't understand the context of that when i was a kid now as an adult i get it he's like whoa my wife is here happy birthday mr president he's like you gotta chill jackie was right there that's so gnarly to think about even yeah even back then we're like nope they were still getting fucking since been fucking we're still getting it done he managed the cuban missile crisis

the war the world could have ended there were nukes in Cuba. It's crazy. I'm saying like all those, there was, if you watch Fog of War with Robert McNamara, he was the secretary of defense, I think, when all that was happening. And he said he was in the room, gosh, if it was like once or multiple times, but he was in the room and he's like, we were seconds away from that red button or the red phone or whatever it was. He's like, we were seconds away terrified like jfk was just sitting there like should we just do it and it can and he didn't and that's pretty rad that's pretty rad because that's why we're all around today it wouldn't i

don't think the world would have ended but a big chunk of it would have and it would have been it'd be a bummer it wouldn't be weird i wouldn't have been getting paid to talk right now. I wouldn't either. Yeah. Just can you imagine that? Me and you, we'd have been fucking lugging lumber in some coal yard or something. Yeah, dude. I'd have been a picker up for money. Making spark plugs.

Can you imagine, though, if you were in the room? Robert McNamara has so many cool stories. but if you were there when they were making those decisions, the potential end of the world decisions, how heavy would that be? And he couldn't really speak up and be like, please don't, because I'm a person and I don't want to die. He just had to take... I think people forget. I mean, it's been laid bare with this whole pandemic thing where it's like, the president is actually pretty important. It's not just an our side wins thing. You actually want like a smart level-headed person and that's why i was so scared with that north korea shit i remember when i was working in

glendale like on the 16th floor and i would just look at downtown la and i'm like man if it if they if we get nuked downtown la is the first place probably yeah that's the first target i live in the valley you have to yeah oh trust me. That's why I live in the valley. You have to. Yeah. Oh, trust me. I Googled. It was going to hit the valley.

Don't worry. It's a designated survivor situation for David. Oh, yeah. Oh, they separate you two all the time. Wait till I get real money. I'm moving to Encino. Yeah. Plus, there's the whole assassination thing and all the, I hate to say it, but entertainment.

That is provided for conspiracy theorists, too. You got to chalk that in. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And his mob ties. Mob ties as well. Yeah. They got him the presidency, right?

That's the word. Sean, time for your fourth pick. Ulysses S. Grant. Oh. Ooh. Yeah. Ulysses Southpaw Grant. I wanted a president in there too.

Famous alcoholic. Big time. Big time. You know, helped end the Civil War, which is a pretty gnarly feat in and of itself. And then I didn't, if I'm being honest, I don't know if I didn't know, but I didn't even think

about it that he was a president until last night when I was making my list. He was kind of a reluctant president. It was almost news to me that he was a president. But I was like, oh, look at, well, good for him. I don't know that he did much in office. I mean, like it was reconstruction and stuff. I don't think he was. I think he was a better general than president is kind of the book on him.

Was that kind of like a reward, essentially? Like, hey, thanks for what you you did you can be the president now i think it was one of those things where it was like because you were that we think that you could be this like yeah it didn't seem like he really wanted that i could see that for a long time war hero was one of the ways you could like get a lot of political capital yeah exactly yeah so you had like a lot of people who were like war heroes and he was like a obviously like one of the bigger war heroes. And the North, like Abraham Lincoln could not find a general to lead his forces. He went through so many different people until he finally arrived.

And part of all of – they weren't all like terrible. Some of them had like – it was like steps forward, steps back. And then Ulysses Grant was the one who like kind of got the ball across the finish line as it were. Another fun Ulysses S. s grant fact that's not his real name yeah i i know or i saw that too it was like a misprint on a on a letter that was sent to him right no his name is his name was hiram ulysses grant really and he didn't want his initials on his because he went to west point and like all your stuff has your initials on it he didn't want his to be hug oh that's awesome i get that i get that i was so there was something that and i didn't fully dive in but it was something like he he put like

ulysses and they thought it was it said ulysses s grant but he just put ulysses grant and so the s wasn't ever supposed to be anything but now he's known by that but that yeah like you said that's not his name or anything to do with it somebody just misread a letter that he wrote as Ulysses S. Grant. That's awesome. How awesome is it that we had a president whose name was Ulysses? Yeah, dude. Yep. It's so many Johns.

It's like John, John, John, John, John, John, Abraham, John, John, Ulysses. John, John, John, John, John, Ulysses. Sounds tight. George, George, John, Thomas, John, George, John, John, George, Abraham, John, John, John, John, John Ulysses. Sounds tight. George, George, John, Thomas, John, George, John, John, George, Abraham, John, George. Yeah, dude. There weren't that many Georges. I think there was three Georges. But anyway, yeah, dude, Ulysses, that's a great pick.

Thanks, bud. Also, three Georges is a lot. When was the last time you saw three Georges hanging out? I mean, I see it a lot, but it's because my middle name is George, and I'm privy to a world that you guys aren't allowed in. As soon as quarantine's over, we're all going to do a George together. It's going to be fun. I'm not going to give you a handjob, Sean.

Please? Will you please? He said please. He said please. Will you please do it, David? David, time for your fourth and fifth picks. My fourth pick? Michael Bajordan's already picked, so don't worry about it.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not even a chuckle. You're so mad. You're so mad about it. I don't know how else I can state the case for you. Whatever.

My fourth pick, Taraji P. Henson. Yeah, that's who I thought was first i really thought she's another one of those who has been in everything forever when i was a kid i used to be like she always cries great at crying then she turned out to be a full great great at crying baby boy that common video have you guys seen that common video oh my god uh what is it what's that song called where she's like before you lock my love away testify yeah we please let me testify yeah man yeah taraji b ensign man she seems great i remember her and smoking aces was like the first thing that i remember but then you she was in benjamin button which is fantastic she's a baby boy yeah well obviously i do um what else my

hustle and flow dude yeah oh my god so good yeah that's the other one i'm still crying a lot she's great at it yeah taraji she seems really fun by the way what's the p stand for david you didn't even oh punani that's another one like skeet so taraji punani henson they will still play poetic justice on uh on vh1 sometimes and they will say it does suck but she says punani in it and they'll play it because i don't think the higher-ups at vh1 know what it means because there's a part where she he's uh he leans in and she goes do you want to smell my punani and i'm like this is vh1 playing that on vh1 did i ever tell you guys this must have come up on this podcast before i thought the word was ass punani for years

is there a song put that romeo and juliet punani no that romeo and juliet set it's like romeo and juliet hot sex on the bladder just to get you wet. You guys don't remember that song? No, I don't. That's not what I'm thinking of. But is that why you thought it was Aspunane? There was a real gruff woman rapping in that song. And at one point she says, with that bomb Aspunane. And I thought Aspunane was one word.

I feel like you may have brought this up in like the 20th episode of this we ever did. Because it sounds kind of familiar. It really made a mark on me as a kid like it's a part of my you guys really i'll text you guys the the the video after this please yeah yeah taraji p henson the one thing i don't like about taraji p henson and why i took vivica a fox over here it was the is the whole nepotism thing what do you mean what'd she say about Jim Henson's daughter? Taraji P. Henson. Oh, fuck you.

God damn it. I got, God, yo, I got, God, man, that doesn't happen like that all the time.

The puppet guy, do you think I would run a Kermit the frog? Man, I just caught a bad one. Dude, I feel like I'm going to smoke a cigarette now. Like, shit. How do we bounce back from this? One of those hard smokes?

Yeah. Just like, one of those, like, you got to look in the mirror, David. One of those, like, you take three hits and flick the whole cigarette away. I don't even want this shit. I didn't even want this shit i didn't want this i didn't want this i just wanted something other than what i was feeling taraji p hansen is one of the most fun names to say in the world and she's fun listen if i can ever write something that she's in i would love it oh she'd kill it she's great she's so funny i don't think man i don't think a lot of people are funny anymore i've been like i don't think a lot of people are funny anymore like like

like like like like hilarious and i think she's hilarious there was that whoever was hosting the oscars but he brought up tarashi p henson he goes thank god for the p because of all the other tarashi hensonons out there. I got to worry about. I mean, but that's probably what happened, right? There might have been. I don't know. There is another Taraji Henson, which is Buck.

Penda is what it actually stands for. Yeah. Oh, that's pretty sick. Which is weird. The only other person I've ever known named Penda was a Namibian dude. Whoa, maybe it's Namibian. Maybe it's like her grandpa's name or something. Maybe it might be a Namibian dude whoa maybe it's namibian maybe it's like her grandpa's name or something and they maybe it might be a namibian name my mom used to hang out with hella namibians which now is weird but anyways i am closing it out with susan bomani anthony yeah yeah

season b because i hate slavery and i like that women can vote yeah so you know and that's my that's that's me and i don't want to sound like a moron uh but that's that's what she was right like she was a big uh abolitionist that's i mean essentially yes she was a huge women's civil rights activist involved in suffrage and everything she was huge on uh she was a huge women's civil rights activist. A Quaker. Involved in suffrage and everything. She was huge on... She was a big-time abolitionist and a big-time women's suffrage person. Yeah. Big on Twitter. Big on Twitter.

She was huge on Twitter. Huge on Twitter. A lot of people don't know that. No, that's her middle name. Big on Twitter. Susan Big on Twitter Anthony. Big on the silver dollar. Yeah, so that's it. Bom bomani uh sean time for your final pick

a weird move but i'm good craig t nelson that's who i'm doing okay coach yeah craig thunder nelson i like him i like the incredibles the family stone is a really good movie he's a good dad he's a real good dad figure. He's also in The Skulls, which when I believed in guilty pleasures, I would call it a guilty pleasure. But now I will say that it's just a pleasure of mine. I like the movie. I haven't seen that movie in forever. I got to check that out. It's not good at all.

But it is young. Is it? Okay. On a scale of one to Boiler Room. Oh, not even. Well, so Boiler Room is good. Because Boiler Room is still good, bro. Boiler Room is legit good, though.

Skulls is like, you can throw it on. It's got young stars, which is always fun. Like a young Paul Walker. It's got a Craig T. Nelson. It's got a young Joshua Jackson, a Leslie Bibb, I believe. And you don't have to pay attention at all. It's got funny late 90s music to it, which is like a fun feel for me. Like what brand?

Oh, Creed, dude. Oh, really? It's got fun feel for me so it's like what brand oh creed dude oh it's got that creed yeah it's got that can you take me higher it's ridiculous when it comes i don't i'm not saying i like that song but it is nostalgic yeah uh he's fun he's in the devil's advocate he plays like this powerful lawyer that's kind of fun and just the incredibles he voices the dad of the incredibles which who doesn't like the incredibles you're a lunatic if you don't um yeah i just like me and craig t nelson poltergeist was fantastic he was that was his first like i think big movie after coach yeah i think i like that even if he hadn't done that tv show he looks like a coach yeah he, he does. The Minnesota screaming Eagles.

My buddy, big torque. Daddy, uh, named his dogs. I think his dogs were Luther and, uh, what was it?

Luther and, um, Dauber. I don't know what you're talking about. That was Luther was like the, his like, uh, kind of older friend or older,

uh, assistant coach and D dauber was the dumb guy so big torque daddy big torque daddy named his animals after that and maybe even one named hayden for hayden fox craig t nelson great craig t nelson referenced by tribe called quest in a lyric too i leave my team to victory like hayden fox because heads ain't ready for the willy I got you know I mean slim Anyway it's a tribe song where they reference Hayden Fox Excellent time for my final pick The final pick of the middle initial AFV and I'm going to take

Women be shopping Yeah you are You fucking did it Yeah you are you fucking yeah you are yeah you are cause they be I mean women be shopping they be no women be shopping

they be shopping women be shopping for sure that's a reasonable pick no I'm not really gonna take women be shopping why you have to I wanted to get in there

no no cause I wanna take an actual person I just wanted that was is that not an actual person women be sure it has to be there has to be somebody named women be shopping that is the head of development over at comedy central i'm pretty sure i had a general with women be shopping oh yeah women be shopping went to the tish school right yeah yeah yeah. I'm pretty sure. Pretty sure. I'm going to take Philip K. Dick for real, though.

Okay. I don't know who that is. Philip K. Dick? You do. Uh-uh. Google it. What did you say? You don't know Philip K. Dick about him?

I don't know Philip K. shit about Dick. I'll tell you that. All right. Philip K. Dick, he's a sci-fi author. He's considered one of the best sci-fi authors of uh of all time he wrote uh a bunch you don't mean you might not know his books but you definitely know the movies and like tv shows that they were turned into you can say that about me in any time of the day you might not know their books he wrote do androids dream of electric sleep

of sheep yeah he also wrote a scanner darkly he wrote a scanner darkly he wrote the movie the book the book that blade runner got turned into total recall minority report a scanner darkly the adjustment bureau the man in the high castle so like the adjustment bureau is laura's like third favorite movie what's her first yeah uh three amigos or the music man dude i've been listening to the music man a lot we listen to it all the time at her brother's house. They have a record player and just put it on. And her dad, I've told you this, but her dad, you know that song about the pool hall where he's like, starts with a P and that's something, that's trouble.

That song where he's on the statue. Yeah, down in River City. Her dad can do that. So he did it in the high school talent show and he can still do it and he breaks it out all the time. He did it over Christmas. It's sick. Dude, I'm going to learn.

I'm like, I'm halfway to memorizing it already at your wedding. I'm going to bust that out with him on the dance floor. If you guys, oh my God. Laura would be bawling. I would be bawling. That'll be so sick. You got trouble. Dance River City.

Yeah, dude. Maybe I'll just do 76 trombones, dude. Oh, man. That'd be so sick. 76 trombones dude oh man that'd be so sick trombones uh so that's my final pick we left a lot on the board including women be shopping ultimately well yeah so the reason i was asking in the beginning was like if anyone's gonna pick fictional like uh james t kirk or ernest p warrell you know john q mr j frog Frog. Can I say what my pick was going to be? Oh, yeah. It was going to be Chuck E. Cheese. Oh, shit.

That's good. Charles Entertainment Cheese. And he's not even fictional. Charles Entertainment Cheese, I tell you. That's the whole name. Is that really? Yeah. Are you fucking with me?

No. No. Marissa, talk about what charles entertainment cheese means to you oh i just i really love arcades and i think growing up he just has like such an iconic name he was like the first name that had a middle initial uh and so that's why it damn it for me but i really loved arcades and so i always like wanted to go to ch. Cheese because that seemed like the best kind of arcade to go to as a kid. We'll go to Chuck E. Cheese when you get back. I would be so down. Thank you.

What if you have like Gordon and Brett's in an electronic barn? What did you guys have? We had Davin Busters and then also Palladium. Eventually Davin Busters bought up all the Palladiums. Amazing.

Yeah, damn, that's good. That's a good, damn, good call. There's a Chuck E. Cheese three miles from the crib right now. I can walk to one. You could throw a baseball from where Ian is sitting right now and hit a Chuck E. Cheese. I do every day. Yeah, we gotta go, man.

Wake up, you fucking mouse! Charles! You pizza ratles you pizza rat you pizza rat oh that sounds like a hard dig well we'll go all right fine we're going to chuck e cheese when marissa gets back don't fucking say it like that i'd love to go no i don't mean i mean like like it's like decided yeah it's gonna say dave and buster george rr martin george r author game of thrones yeah hr geiger but we couldn't we couldn't i thought we could yeah jesus i didn't have any other ones i had jesus h christ on my list but it would have been weird yeah hunter s thompson david s pumpkins oh shit see that would have been a good one i didn't even see that one scott cecil d demille david o'sells nick just some what about homer jay simpson did you have that it's a great one i

didn't have it on there alfred e newman my list was small my brother for b has i uh i was gonna pick warren g harding just so i could talk about warren g for a while i know you were i know you were talk about getting a hickey on my stomach while this DJ was playing oh shit I forgot to go through our list so just to recap David you went first you took Samuel L. Jackson Booker T. Washington

Mary J. Blige Taraji P. Henson and Susan B. Anthony Sean you went second you took Michael J. Fox William H. Macy, Michael B. Jordan Ulysses S. Grant and Craig T. Nelson and I went last and I took Franklin D. Roosevelt John C. Riley

Vivica A. Fox John F. Kennedy and Philip K. Dick and Women Be Shopping and then Chuck E. Cheese by the super producer yes we want to hear your picks as well make sure you send them to us at all fantasy pod on twitter all fantasy pod on Twitter,

all fantasy podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon holding us down. Thank you so much. We really appreciate you. Uh, shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to, uh, St.

Sue Carmel. Another huge shout out. You heard her on here, but super producer, Marissa. Killing shit. Graham, Graham,

uh, any other shout outs to you yeah let me check i bet you there's a couple here it's his birthday uh yeah you don't know i don't know no no shout out to sean smith i miss him i want to short film the lot that is a webby award honoree what does that mean means they are gonna give us a plaque i'm not gonna pay for it what is it 200 bucks yeah dude i'm not get out of the game dude listen i i've i've charged a lot of weed to the game this last week so i gotta chill i got some shout outs eric hielsman and tyler bustle bucelle perhaps uh gracio de mayo uh it is your birthday on May 5th, uh, from your dude. Gracio DeMaio or DeMaio?

Gracio DeMaio. So it's like a Grace DeMaio. Uh, Logan, happy birthday from Danny and John Alec Walter from Abby. And then it says dipping your brother in dog shit. So I assume that they'll get that, whatever that means,

but that's pretty gnarly. Dipping your brother in dog shit. Unless it's a typo on my phone, but that's hilarious. Shout out to Dave talent. Sam's dad, who has the same birthday on me as me on Tuesday. Oh yeah.

Your birthday is on drops. Happy belated, but happy early. I can't believe I'll be 46. 46 dude. A grandfather at 46 though, you know? Yeah.

Well, I was a grandfather at 35. If you remember, that's true. I do remember. I time flies. Grandfather, that chili cheeseburger right into your stomach is what your grandfather grandfather that into the trash can it's so cool two things are true man time flies and the rhythm method does not work yeah the rhythm of having this you know i just since we're all

looking at each other this is cool it's almost like we're hanging out and each other, this is cool. It's almost like we're hanging out. I just do want to say I miss you all three terribly. Everybody, I'm sure, is missing people and everything. This will all be done. Just be positive. Be happy. This is sick. Life will go on.

I miss everyone and I can't wait until we all see each other again. This is getting me through in the meantime. This is very fun. Yeah, man. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to the dude. Shout out to David. Yeah.

And as we are figuring out and getting more familiar with this Zoom stuff, I would really love to do a live stream at some point, maybe to celebrate getting a thousand patrons on Patreon. Oh, that's a great idea. I'm with it. Look forward to something like that. Yes. Let's do it. Yeah. When we hit a thousand patrons, we'll that's a great idea i'm with it look forward to something like that yes let's do it yeah when we hit a thousand patrons we'll we'll do a live stream we'll do some afe live streams i would love it bottomless yeah i'm bottomless right now you're bottomless mimosas i'm gonna get hammered i got yeah andy uh our boy andy invested in a brewery and boy uh

i don't know why the name is escaping me shit well anyway they're bringing back sea in santa cruz california no what the fuck is this shout out to them oh man ah crap well i'll save it i'll shout it on up anyway i'm gonna have some beer coming to me so i'm gonna drink that the next time we do this so i'm gonna get back sounds more important than all of that tune in next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything Shrek-lackity! That was a hate gum podcast.