All Fantasy Everything - Fictional Bosses (w/ Matt Braunger, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

Everybody has to work, and you either love or hate your boss! We hope you love them, but in case you don't, we'll vent for you! This week we're drafting Fictional Bosses! So get a terrible room temperature cup of coffee and find your favorite busted swivel chair to camp in and listen.    And hey, click here to watch Sean Jordan's TV debut on The Late Late Show!   See us on tour! We're doing live shows in Washington, Boston, New York and more! Find tickets at linktr.ee/allfantasyeverything.   Guest: Matt Braunger @braunger IG: @braunger See his new comedy special, Doug.   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.    Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: [e-mail]    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting fictional bosses. Our guest today is a comedian who you've seen on Conan, At Midnight, Chelsea Lately, Mad TV, Agent Carter, several commercials.

One that was at the Super Bowl and I nearly choked on, I think it was either a 7, it was between a 7 and 9 layer bean dip, because I didn't expect it, and then I saw my boy during the fucking Super Bowl you already know who it is, it's Matt Bronger, his new special

Doug is available everywhere, October 6th, over at moment.co. We're going to talk about that more. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and I'm joined, as always, by David Borey, and fresh off of a television appearance. Woot, woot, woot. Still probably wearing the makeup. Still glowing like a Halloween pumpkin.

Sean Jordan. He's rubbing his nipples right now. This isn't a joke. He's actually doing that. He really did. Yep. Yep. It was a bold move and I liked it.

Yeah, it was hot. welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything the podcast that was earnestly rubbing his nipples well while i was doing the first intro yeah i don't know why david was doing that man but what do you what are you gonna do david was rubbing my nipples david ever one time i bet you have at some point doubt it i would rather i would i remember less it would feel less intimate to touch your penis than to rub both your nipples at the same time it earnestly would i don't yeah 100 i hate to quibble with you that's you know what that's debatable but yeah speaking as a i'm older than you guys i've had both yeah go on i've had i've had someone come right up and you know just cut my business and i've had someone come up and just start touching my nips and both you know it's it's

about extremities do not touch someone's extremities don't touch their face hands feet don't do it penis nipples nothing that can dangle yes yes or poke out nipples do my nipples hang so it's a they're dang it's twice as bad for you then so down there okay i really do think i think like if someone was like they'll touch my flaccid penis or they would come up and rub both my nipples you're outside of your mind i go penis dude i would interesting i mean it's a weird it's a weird thing to think of someone just coming up on your plastic dick and just being like, yuck. And just like pressing in. Oh, a finger.

I've just had mine grabbed. So like. Really? Oh, the whole business. The whole. Like they were pulling an umbrella out of the door of a Bentley? Yeah. Wow.

Not to brag, men and women. You know, it's always that drunk, where it's like, you know, it's always that drunk person. That's just like, they won't expect this. And it's like, yeah, you're right.

But that's assault. Can you back up? Was it after a comedy show? Yes. Definitely. Always. Always. That happened to me after Chelsea,

after a Chelsea handler show that I opened for like, yes, dude, drunk lady. Uh huh. Just honking on Bobo. Yeah, and I think it's it is that

it is a bit of that female entitlement where it's like this doesn't matter to you. You're just a man. And you're like, okay, just get up. Yeah. It's been unsaid too long. Listen, it's stopped now, women. 301, baby, in the building. It's the smallest thing and it's like I'm not even mad, but it's just like, you know. Well, how, in the building. It's the smallest thing, and it's like,

I'm not even mad, but it's just like, you know. Well, how small? It can't be that small. Oh, my penis? Oh, I could go on and on. Folks! Yeah, come on. I've heard nicknames. Come on. Yeah. Fat Dogger himself.

Ironic. I was bartending the Kentucky Derby for a bunch of older gals one time and they started off it was on TV I wasn't at the Derby I was at the track in Portland I wish you guys wouldn't have leaned in I wish you would have just let that legend grow

you've had a lot of lives Mr. Jordan he has bartended the Preakness they were getting juleps and they would like they started giving, just handing me the tips, you know, and by the end of the day, it was like they put it on my stomach, which isn't that dank

by the way, and they just slide it on down. I'm like, yeah, go for it. Do what you got to do. I always say that, you know, I kind of preferred waiting tables to bartending because when you're bartending, you can't leave. Like you can't walk away. You can be like my boss is calling me i gotta go i'm sorry i'm gonna move these plates you know and so you're not

hostage to that table you are hostage to everyone at the bar and i used to work on banquets and like you know a wedding and there's just like single people that are just getting super looped and then there'd be this little group of women that are just trying to get their friend late or whatever and they're just like so what's your deal do you have and you're like girl i have a girlfriend i have i have a i have a girlfriend you're just standing there you're like i'm broke that's my deal i don't want to be bartending a wedding i'm bartending a wedding i'm a comedian i remember i was bartending a wedding one time and somebody comes up and they go didn't i see you open for marin last night and i'm like oh damn yeah what do you want you want a budweiser i got it budweiser is free i still got right they're just like what's free i'm researching

a role yes deep cover yes i've been deep cover a lot yeah haven't we all that guy who's deep cover uh sean jordan who was recently doing late night comedy on television y'all saw it if you if y'all ain't seen it y'all need to see it yes on youtube.com how to go dude how to feel felt amazing every single part of it man i almost they cut this out i almost dropped those nunchucks and they almost went flying right into that camera that's what you were saying and i stopped and i was like oh i really got scared and then uh other than that pretty cool man i wasn't nervous until the curtain until they put you behind the curtain for like three minutes yeah you're like what am i doing what's going on yeah you're back there for and those three minutes feel like it probably isn't

even three minutes you're probably back there for like 45 seconds yeah maybe just like i started forgetting maxine's nate you know that's the first thing you like you want to get that first joke out and uh i couldn't even remember uh you know just weird shit i couldn't remember words and it's like what the fuck is going on but you you can't bail you know yeah it's you crushed it yeah it's just it's just go just go and then i will say man it's the best feeling when you right when i as soon as i knew probably that last like minute where i was like okay you you really you can't screw up now then you get like real comfortable and you're like oh i'm gonna do it and you're just thinking like oh it's gonna be done i'm gonna have done it and then you do it and it's like nothing nothing can take

that away it's just the best 17 years i've been doing stand-up 17 years and i've been broke i've sacrificed relationships i've been long distance i've done so many stupid things i got my wiener honk you turtled up tattoos out tattoos gotten tattoos removed yeah man that was recent that was that was after the call that's true that's true i'm just very happy that's great you fucking you crushed it it's very funny yeah and you know what come to faded tonight and celebrate with me if you're in portland it's gonna be fun we have it's gonna be great then i take that red eye to dc at right after faded living that we will be the three of us yeah stand-up comedy the dc improv september 30th

october 1st oct. Two shows each night. Tickets still available. The AFV is sold out, but if you're on the Eastern Seaboard, you can come see us at the Wilbur Theater doing a live AFV at the Wilbur Theater in Boston on December 15th, or

the Bell House in Brooklyn December 16th. Bring your ass down from Philly. As I says, you get you saw that show out i'll give you a philly show yeah you get your ass you show up at the wilbur you'll get a philly show listen i'm gonna i'm gonna be candid on the podcast and then overconfident on twitter we bit off a lot more than we could chew with this world with either thing big spot my agent was like it look it looks good if you play the Wilbur. And I was like, okay, but how big is it?

And they were like, it's like an 800 seat theater. And I was like, all right, I don't know if we know that many people in Boston. We're going to have to get Kevin Garnett to be the guest. So. Done. If you're trying to pick which show to go to, if you're trying to pick which show,

or if you've been meaning to see us live and you're on the East Coast or you want to travel and come see us, it's the season come to boston massachusetts see us at the wilbur theater tickets are going fast it's almost sold out i was laughing at something else it's totally almost sold out on twitter that's how i'm going to carry myself but right here i'm going to level with all of you please i will say this man it is i won't say it's never been harder to sell tickets but it's just for some reason post everything opening up then kind of closing then opening again it's like people are so gun shy and we're still coming out of gas prices are way down thank

god but it's just you know well somebody what went to we were i was gonna actually go wake up sleepy joe when we went to washington and be like hey wake up you know lower the gas price yeah what's up dude and so he did and i appreciate you doing that so yeah that was good thanks for stepping up somebody tapped him on the shoulder that's good one we're pretty political now and we're on the wrong side of everything matt so that's way to go way to go just when it's turning the other way way to wait i got all excited when you were when you were talking about like anti-women stuff earlier that was like yeah i don't know if that's what he was talking about i wouldn't say anti-women.

No, I put him in the corner, man. We put a guest in the corner. I'm telling you, you are Tucker Carlson in a lot of interesting points. Sean is wearing a bow tie right now. Just for all the listeners at home, Sean is wearing a bow tie. I got little bow ties pierced on my nipples, too. Stop touching the nipples. No.

Stop doing it. They got little bow ties on. Stop it. I don't love it either. It's bad. I don't like it. You flick your nipples like you doing it they got little bow ties on it i don't love it either ah it's bad like you you you flick your nipples like you're playing a high bass and yeah yeah you put the elbow up that's i think it's not it's not a casual from the bottom you want to have that janet jackson breast cup that's what you want to be doing just from the bottom yeah from the bottom gentle yeah supportive that's literally my super bowl it feels like a good

teacher yeah jenna jackson breast cup yep just behind you all the way uh david board is here cool guy jokes 87 on instagram hey he's not on he's not on twitter i am not on twitter ever again everyone's asking man everybody's asking fuck that stop it he is on tiktok at uh at cool guy jokes 87 i had to change it a little bit uh same old hits though a lot of cooking demos viral dance trends yeah all the latest bops hops yeah a lot of stitches where it's just you watching another comic set and just going garbage, garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see what they're trying to do there, but no. A lot of me mouthing other comic set, but with my mannerisms.

And all the AFV road gigs at the end. They all pop up at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you want to see somebody not Gallagher mouthing a highly offensive Gallagher bit. Cool guy jokes joke Sadie Heaven on TikTok there you go your boy you're gonna love it you're gonna love it I did outside lands with Gallagher and uh yeah yeah I was Alex Cole and I were sticking around

at the watch the headline and my god the rumors were true that's true. That's what I hear. It's highly politicized. Oh, he's got a line of people in raincoats. And it's that thing where they're seeing how much racist homophobia they can sit through to watch a watermelon get slammed. And then they'd walk and then they'd let more people in the tent. And it was just after like 20 minutes, we were like, let's go somewhere and get a beer. I don't want to be here. It's just like this isn't even like a like a defeat, not even like outrage. Just like, oh, just like, oh, no.

Like we knew it was probably coming. But K would be a way better hang than watching Gallagher. Anyways, a better beer and some bar would be think way better than the Gallagher. Yes. Yes. Friendship. Friendship is always better. Just like David's long term friendship with gallagher with gallagher i'm actually friends with gallagher too a lot of people don't realize that interesting he's legit dude he's woke man

he's on the right side uh i saw gallagher i saw one of the gallagher's at the oregon state fair once upon a time okay yeah i remember that bridgetown where he was bopping around you guys remember that i do yeah he was he was in town at the same time but he wasn't on the fest no yeah he went on the he did the one show because somebody sat on his lap remember and he got all like oh you like fan fiction or something he did something but i don't think he was like part of the festival i don't want to say names because this person is an issue but this person like sat on his lap and that was the big talk of the town. I think that was one of the two years I wasn't there.

There were only two. I didn't make it of the 10. But yeah, I don't think I was around. You weren't there. Yeah. Great. Oh, yeah, that's right. I remember 2010.

I think there was another one, but I can't. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'd have to look, go back and look it up. But yeah. David, where can the people enjoy you either in person or on other platforms? Oh, October 19th to 22nd, I believe I will be at the Altercation Comedy. No. The Altercation Festival.

Yeah. Hell yeah. In Austin. Yes. And then I'm doing Go go nanners but i don't know the day go bananas cincinnati i'm sorry i got all my dates on an email that i don't have are they on davidboy.com yet because i got my computer right here no no they're not because we're just still locking them in but it's like go bananas so cincinnati alaska and austin look out for me i'll be there soon the big three i'll have

the i'll have the real dates next i'll ask about you dude and then yeah there he is do you do tv i did i see you i'm done man one and done just like just like kids now you'll get hooked man you'll be back yeah yeah dude yeah uh but yeah and then also come to faded October. I believe we have Jordan temple November. I believe Dave Hellam. I'm bad about dates right now, guys, but I'll be out there still. I might need to come to a faded Denver here pretty soon. Come out. Yeah.

I rarely do Friday shows, but like a weekend shows, if I'm not out on the road, but I got a, I got, I got to get back to the, to Malloy. Cause he just, he just hit me up. I think this morning. So I got, I got, I got to just give him a day and he just hit me up, I think, this morning. So I got to just give him a day and be like, all right, I'll do this. The Faded LA is so fun. Yeah, it's such a fun show. I want to do it.

It's so good. And Mike is such a – Let's go do it together, hand in hand. Mike is such an easy, warm guy to get along with. That's the thing. That's the thing is he's really easy. He's not angry. He doesn't make it tough.'s not gonna wrestle you you don't have to pick him up to prove that you are also

a strong man he doesn't have a chip on his shoulder that blocks out the sun like you know like he doesn't you know and i like that scenario that you won't run into with a mike malloy is you won't be at a bar drinking and he and then you you know you go to the bathroom you come back out his shirt is off he's standing on a chair that won't happen flexing saying who's better than me at a bar drinking and he, and then you, you know, you go to the bathroom, you come back out, his shirt is off. He's standing on a chair. That won't happen. Flexing saying who's better than me. All these,

all these, all this shade I'm throwing at him are reasons. I love the guy, you know, it's like, God, he's the fuck. I mean,

it's like, I have to say that I will. I was cracking up. Cause somebody, somebody wrote, you ever have someone write a comment on something and you're like, now, why the fuck would you say that?

You didn't think it through, you you know they're being way too familiar anybody on this show can say anything about me in public and i will howl with laughter like this shittiest thing but when like just a rando pops up this guy wrote uh uh uh no matter what he is that picture of all of us at beloved uh ian and dana in dana's wedding we were at a good wedding yes that was good this dude wrote no matter what he wears uh matt bronger always looks like everybody's drunk uncle damn come on man everybody's you look really good everybody everybody's is so strong we've all had a drunk uncle okay yeah i don't even want to talk about it's like it's like whether i i do have that or i don't have that i have that sometimes

but like that's my whole life like i'm sitting here just like with just mottled red skin i've lost an eye you know i'm you guys don't know why I'm on the podcast. I'm screaming at you. You're always wearing a faded Eagles jacket. Yes. You know, I'm just mad at the youth all the time. And you're screaming how things were better then. You don't even know. You know, trying to cage coke off one of you. And I just like, trying to smoke some boo.

Yeah. Ivan Carmel. Yeah. You guys got any grass? Yeah. I just wrote underneath it without even thinking. I was just like, Hey,

I'd only had one, you know, like just kind of joking. And then it hit me. It's like, I don't know this dude. And then Mike wrote, yeah,

one in each hand. And then it became me. Then it became me and Mike going back and forth. And then it was fun when it was me and Mike. It was fun. That is a funny oh that is a funny that is a funny comeback though my only point is like like i love mike i love mike you look less like a drunk uncle and more like a pit like to me where you're at in your life right now is like

when somebody posts a picture of their dad and then people are like oh shit your dad was kind of hot i'll take it that's where that's where matt bronger is at right now you dress way too well for a drunk uncle man yeah you dress great you know what i mean yeah i'm also i'm not gonna go to your wedding i don't even get that drunk any like i get like a buzz but it's like i don't get drunk uncle drunk i just don't you know so like you know like i'm not gonna especially at your wedding like what of all the places you know what i mean yeah that's for that's for me i was gonna say my uncle steve at my aunt's wedding he housed a bottle of tequila before the wedding and

he was dusted sleeping in his car during the wedding like denim denim shit i'm like that is who that's a junk uncle not you you had on like a dope green suit and like an expensive drink in one hand it was fine it was provided uh uh uh gratis on behalf of of uh sweet carmel and schwartz oh my pleasure love the cocktail oh so my sincere pleasure shout out to Michael Schwartz. They were fantastic, man. Oh, my. Well, Matt Bronger is here. At Bronger on Twitter.

At Bronger on Instagram. Are you on any other? Are you on TikTok? I am on TikTok, yeah. I got on there about six months ago, and it's been the most fascinating experience because I've had a couple of, uh, uh, rando bits go viral and you just, it's kind of fantastic to,

to have the pressure off and be like, no one knows. No one knows what people are going to just latch onto. Yeah. I had that dumb story about, uh, from big, dumb animals watching,

uh, um, the girl, the dragon tattoo. And there's a horrific rape scene and everyone's all quiet. And then my dickhead friend out in my ear just goes, I'm sorry, is this, we bought a zoo? I started laughing in the silence

and everyone thinks I'm laughing at the sexual assault. And it's just a story. And people are either like, holy shit, wow. Or like, did this really happen? You made this up. Or, you know, what if I did, by the way, people do that. I can do that. Yeah.

So it's just like I'm on there, but nothing makes sense. And that's OK. Fantastic. That's OK. Yeah. Just floating in the Gen Z ether. It was like, hello, children. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Just stumbling in to this 20 something party and not leaving. So now you've also got we'll get to some road dates in a second, but specifically we need to talk about Doug. OK, let's talk about Doug. Let's talk about Doug. You will tell the people where they can see it, what it is. Yeah, I'm just trying this thing. It's a it's a it's a platform called Moment that people put up. yeah i'm just trying this thing it's a it's a it's a platform called moment that people put up typically live events or things that will you know uh be uh finite uh as opposed to specials which kind of stay up this is only gonna be on there for a couple weeks it's just like fossil

fuels i don't want to be like it's a labor of labor of love yeah exactly yes this is this is uh enough gas for your escalade and that's it uh it basically i had it i had an hour in march of 2020 and then as we all know all the dick joke emporiums closed down and so my wife had a baby pretty sure it's mine and that's exciting and so i became a stay-at-home dad for a year and during that time we drove across the country together we did all this stuff and i threw away at least half of that hour and then in 2021 i, I was like, all right, I'm ready to record again. So I recorded at Zany's Nashville. And I have this closer, had this closer that I put to bed with Doug about the worst dude I've ever met on vacation. And he was a husband and father. I was neither at that point, but I was committed to my gal and wanted to be both.

And this guy, we're all men here with the exception of our illustrious producer. And I think you guys will agree with me. Men need good role models. Yeah. But I think we also need bad ones. We need ones to look at and be like, bro, I can never be you. Like a drunk uncle. Like I can never, I can do what i want my life but i gotta stop

the habits that lead to you yeah so doug sucked so bad that i named the whole special after him and the closing bit has a part that i i it's like a magic trick reveal where i call a random person from the audience on stage and they help me with the ending and And it's like, you know, like, oh, and is this your card for the whole audience? It's a callback to a thing where I do, you know, a thing that people are going to be asking me, is that real? So when Moment approached me, I'd already like talked to a few platforms and some were interested, but I was like, this is the way to get this thing across to make it like you know my super bowl of the moment so you know yeah and and uh it's just i had people filming this this closer

on the road for a couple months and putting it on instagram and it was like putting out fires after every show right look online and be like did someone post it and then i dm like you take this down and everyone was amazing and they're like yeah no totally i'm sorry i'm sorry and they take it down but it's like just just to be like all right this is my little thing that i want to share with people that no one really knows about except people that saw me on tour right uh yeah so it's like you know it'll premiere october 6th if you if you watch it then i'm doing a vip thing after where i'll do like a Q&A online, blah, blah, blah. And then it just lives online for a little while and then it goes away. And I

don't know what I'll do with it after that, but I'm trying this first. So, I mean, the fact is like you guys built this podcast from nothing and now you're playing the Wilbur. As much as you're putting that down, this is the era of everybody kind of making their own thing. And it's way less daunting because it's been proven. Goosebumps. I'm in such a good goddamn mood, Matt. Dude, I'm telling you. This is dope. We got to turn towards positivity and take the rest of the world with us. I was just in Austin. I flew into Austin, bought a plane ticket and a hotel room

for two nights to do a podcast. Right? Yeah. This podcast is Your Mom's House. It's so goddamn big. They have like a warehouse.

They have like their own studio for them and the rest of their shows, but mostly them. And I'm just like, you have a staff of Gen Zers. This is insane. Where it's just,

it just came from. I remember, uh, uh, and I'll stop, I swear. But I remember Jim Carrey saying to his, his kid,

when he had like, and then he left and the kids never seen him again. And that's all I got. No, he couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't.

He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't.

He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't.

He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't.

He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't.

He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't.

He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't lick your heroes carefully he's kind of a dog no i appreciate it i was getting way too

sincere he you know he's living in his whatever house he lives in it's incredible and he just says to his kid like jokes paid for all of this jokes you know and it was like whoa you know it's just like i i will pay for jokes and i feel like you know people that do you guys's patreon and listen and you know it's just you can do it yourself it's scary but it just helps everybody when you do so absolutely that's the best way it's the best way to do it and people can see this new special doug on moment.co they can find links on your socials they can find links on a lot on our socials on a lot of other comedian socials also link into it because i can say this this is the part you can't say matt bronger is one of the best stand-up comedians in the world wow you could say that if you haven't

seen him if you well we can say that he shouldn't say that it'd be weird if he said it would be kind of cool if he said it yeah say it baby yes earnestly no way one of the fucking funniest people dude thank you and just so good at stand-up and if you haven't seen him if like you haven't been able to go out and see him live this is a great way to see it even if you haven't gone and see him live this is a great way to support him and just to fucking have a great time more than more in fact more than supporting like one of your favorite comedians just treat your fucking self to a beautiful autumn night i was gonna say it's like raw fun watching you it's it's like your enjoyment it's uh it's stand-up but it's also something else because it's a show and it's fun and you're in there yeah and you're you and you're so fun to watch

you're so fun just to be thanks man i i feel like david also has that where i feel like date that thing the thing no not at all not at all drunk uncle but i feel like it's the we you and i both have that of that of that everyone listen i have something insane to tell you you know it's like that thing yeah and then i'll walk it back i'll figure out i'll make it oh yeah nobody i love it i love it it's like i just i just feel like you and i just we walked we walked out of a crashed spaceship onto a stage and like people i have i have i have news that's how i feel every day of my life right 100 100 i'm gonna tell maxine that the one rap song i recorded paid for this entire house until she's old enough to be like that can't that can't be true royalties nike and adidas could not have paid for this whole house and i'll be like this house was 87 dollars 87 bucks actually it did 87 my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter

at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish smoking a pork butt for shabbat uh complicated complicated dana is making challah bread and then we're gonna have pulled pork and challah bread i have made challah bread with dana before yes you have yes right before i mopped you two in trivial pursuit but whatever we're done talking maybe that happened i don't know i don't i don't recall it i don't i was black watch the late late show listen all fantasy everything come see us i'll reiterate in to you. I was blacked out. Watch the Late Late Show. Listen to All Fantasy Everything. Come see us. I'll reiterate. In Washington, D.C.

tomorrow night and Saturday night we will be there. Then come see us in Minneapolis at the 10,000 Laughs Comedy Festival the very next weekend. I think that's like October 7th, 8th. We'll be there. And then the next day is my birthday. So come give me a sweet little kiss.

You can come see us at the Wilbur in Boston. You can come see us at the Bell House in Brooklyn. Oh, you can come see me, Portland, Oregon. P.O. That's not it. Portland, Oregon. I will be at Revolution Hall doing stand-up comedy on November 18th. Come see that.

And then we will be doing a live All Fantasy everything. November 20th. Also at Revolution Hall. Tickets going very fast for that. Are we in Phoenix? It's a place called CB Live. If I look the email right, it's like CB Live or something. CB Live. I just played there a couple months ago. Great spot.

People keep asking the comedy club. It's not the comedy club. In the email it says... Wait, so it's not stand-up live? No, it's CB Live. It's a different venue. It's like a music venue. But that's what the comedy club. It's not the comedy club. In the email, it says it's CB Live. It's a different venue. It's like a music venue. That's what the email says. There's nothing on the calendar when we're supposed to be there. The ticket link isn't up yet.

If we're there, that's what it says in the email that we're doing. Just a heads up, if you're trying to go to Phoenix, we're going to find out. We were meant to... Your agents do the best they can you know and it's very complicated juggling three different schedules and i think we're gonna be there we'll find out but i'm just saying if the people who've been wondering it's not stand-up live it's a place called cb live that's where we're supposed to be we will when we have details we'll get them to you yeah can we still go to the live music live band karaoke across from

stand-up live afterwards because yes that place is cracking yeah and just so you know everybody in phoenix david is the one that's been making me say the negative things about phoenix so come to the show and we'll talk about it yeah i said them and i meant them squash the beautiful if you believe that then you look at look at my track record who's been to phoenix more in the past four years i think i'm the one who said the negative stuff about phoenix sean i don't think you really went that in on it i love phoenix well there you go and i'm prepared to depending on how tickets go if we are indeed playing it which i swear to have resolved by next episode of this but it wouldn't be until november anyway that being said we are gathered here not to talk about uh a great bird rising from the ashes

in the state of arizona but rather to fantasy draft fictional bosses a topic that we sent a list to bronger and bronger this was the one that stood out to you yeah i i just i i liked it because not to not to be like here's the ground rules i like that there aren't any i like that we didn't define whether it was uh a boss who's good to you a boss who is funny on screen a final boss you know in a video game or a movie you know i like this that it's like you just pick your boss. And that's one thing I kind of like about this show where whether someone does or does not go,

no, that doesn't count. It's fun. You know what I mean? So I like it because it was expansive. And we're all friends here, so we can truly rip into each other. 100%. Which makes for a good one.

Now, to determine the order of that draft, we'll do it with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, yeah. Booboo bladder. Here we go again.

Rock, paper, scissors. No, no, I think Bronger threw paper, right? Yeah, Bronger had a paper. Paper, paper. He did? Yeah. It was two paper, one scissors. Two papers, one scissors. I am on quite a bit of heroin right yeah i was gonna say

uppers you do that you can take the boy out of the pacific northwest you cannot take the pacific northwest the long arm aggression grabbed me by the shirt collar and uh so uh who won sean i did yeah yeah sean jordan winning winning at life fucking winning at rock paper scissors yeah sean jordan as the winner rock paper scissors i will remind you uh it is a serpentine draft wait no it isn't coming upon you german door today wrap before you do that what is that a great question it's like if you look at everybody who's on this zoom call and you just start on the top left and you want to tell everybody how much you love them and how excited you are that they are in your lives and

so you go marissa i love you to pieces and i'm thrilled that you're in my life and then you skip over yourself because that's arrogant and then you go david i love you to pieces i'm thrilled that you're in my life it was so fun talking to you after i got to do my set it was rad and then i go down ian you're next and then i say ian i'm so happy that you're in my life. I'm thrilled to call you a friend. It was so fun to walk out and look at you, see you on stage. And then I go on moreover. I say, Matt, I love you so much. I'm thrilled to have you in my life. It's so fun to have you as an influence and just being around such a comedic presence has always helped me the whole time I've known you. And then you kind

of want to tell everybody again but you don't want to go in the same order so you just reverse it but you tell matt one more time my god i love you and you get you get the pleasantries and ian i love you too david i love you so much marissa i love you so much and then you know just like that he's gonna keep going ian was giving the wrap it up signal to sean no he was rubbing his nipples marissa that's not i was giving you i was up signal to Sean. No, he was rubbing his nipples, Marissa. No, I was not. I was definitely giving him the light. I thought you were pointing at your watch and going,

you know what time it is, like 80s rappers. Oh, yeah, Damian Lillard. I was doing a Damian Lillard. You know the time. Yeah, yeah. You know the time. I was trying to hasten you as it was taking forever. Yeah, I just love you guys. I'm going to get you and I'm thrilled about it. I'm fucking with you, dude.

Obviously. Basically what that means is if you pick fourth on the first round, you pick first on the second round. Sean Jordan, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to go Matt, David, me, Ian. Hot corner. I'll take it. Okay.

Matt, David, Sean, Ian. Matt, that means you have the first pick in the fictional bosses draft and we'll get to that first pick. Okay. Right after the short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by schedule 35. Now microdosing is an absolute game changer.

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it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code all fantasy at schedule 35.co. That's 15% off at schedule 35.co and use promo code all fantasy. Yeah, we're back. Welcome back to all fantasy. Everything. The only podcast that has ever existed. The only form of media that has ever existed, except, of course, for Doug, the special by Matt Beronger, available everywhere October 6th,

moment.co. Make sure you check that out. Speaking of Matt Beronger, you have the first pick in the fictional draft, a fictional boss that's often in his everything draft. What will that pick be? You know, when I got the word from good old SJ, king of the Colbert late night set.

I had a name popped in my head for a boss. And as I said, I don't care what we're doing. Nice bosses, funny bosses, scary bosses, ultimate bosses. I just settled on Sam Malone from cheers oh yeah totally dude yeah absolutely yeah he owns the owner operator of the legendary cheers and i don't say this because it's sentimental because it was a favorite show uh as a kid and i don't say it because it's sentimental because my wife's parents met at the actual Cheers in Boston, Massachusetts. What? In Boston? I've been in there.

The Bakers? Correct. That's amazing. She's the most Boston person I've ever met. Oh, my God. Yeah. Dude. Is she related to Kevin McHale as well?

You're afraid of her, right? I'm afraid of her. She's been a dear friend for going on a decade. I scared the living shit out of me until like three years ago she just has she just has uh talk about she has like boss resting bitch face that's all it is you know it's like yeah you know she's just a she's just like but she is a she's a boss she's taking real boss we can take a care of it but she's like i i it's funny to me because i know how silly and how how ridiculous she is and how you know sweet and all that stuff but it's just like there are people who go to you know it's funny to me because I know how silly and how ridiculous she is and how, you know, sweet and all that stuff. But it's just like, there are people who go to, you know, it's been called, Boston is the home of the scary white people.

That's true. You know, we've all seen the town. Yeah, that's the one place. Yeah. There's no others. That's the one place they're located. That's the one place they're located. But it's like, you know, I think of Cheers as like so universal in terms of like, you know, how relatable and all that stuff. But back to Sam, he seems the most chill boss ever.

You know, he has the tightest staff, the best regulars. The tightest pants. Tightest pants. Tightest staff. Tightest toupee. And he. Wait, you're saying my man TD's rocking a piece? Yes, sir. Right in the back. Is he juicing? Not in that.

He does. He has a hair yarmulke. 100%. Yeah. What? 10 dance and the real guy does. Or did on that show. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought he was stacked still back in those days. I don't know. Maybe it developed later on, but I know he was stacked still back in those days. I thought,

you know, maybe it developed later on, but I know he's unabashed. He doesn't care. He'll show you it. He'll take it off. He'll take it off. But he's also,

it's one of those things I think of like he's, he was sober. Like his character was a sober. He'd given up drinking. He was a ball player. He's a pitcher. And that's the guy, a person who has not only given it up, but it's just kind of like still being themselves that's who should own a bar

yes you're right oh if you're still getting hammered you can't sit up right oh if you knew you had any kind of problem with it you cannot own a bar man but also if you never but also you you should have had a problem with it at some point. Because then, if you own a bar, you're empathetic. You know what I mean? If someone never really fucked with it, it would be weird if they owned a bar. That's weird. Then they're capitalizing on... It feels like they're taking advantage of people who can't control themselves.

Yeah. There's a bar, I think, in New York called The 13th Step. And I'm like, that's so fucked up. The 13th Step? Sam does not own...'s sam's is called cheers which you can say if you're drinking or not yeah at the 13th step everybody knows your first name and the first initial of your last name yes now matt i got a question for you what do you care about your fictional boss uh fraternizing with uh his employees that's an interesting point. Because he is,

depending on how you look at it, Sam could be a real smoothie or a creep. I don't think he does. He never came off as... Growing up with a mother who we watched... Talk about a movie that's really held up. Gone with the Wind. Boy, there's nothing problematic

about it at all. I was waiting, finally. At waiting finally at least one reference home of the scary white people we used to go see oh fuck there's a lot of those in that one um and we know we bought a zoo i think that the union army set on fire for no reason and i i i don't know it was like uh like a classic movie marathon on tv or something and there's that scene where rhett butler carries scarlet up the stairs and she's pounding on his chest and he has his way with her and that part is not shown but then cut to she wakes up in the morning she stretches and she looks so happy and my mom out loud with a room full of people that are watching just goes ah the happy rape so my mom doesn't jane bronger doesn't give a fuck good on her for

calling it shout out to queen jane but i watched cheers of my mother and father and she never once was like oh this guy you know what i mean because it's like i don't think he ever she likes a smooth dude you know like she doesn't put up with someone who's crossing boundaries in that bullshit but just pretty well yeah i just think sam had game yeah i don't think he was a creep for days he had game no i'm not saying he's creep i'm just saying like a lot of times in the work environment people don't like you to mix sex and work you know i'm not saying he was creepy i'm just saying like i mean he's out there getting it i married my my manager after we've broken up and shit but it's like we were we were fucking on the job i'll tell you right now between you and me but like you know i you know you know who you

know who said who nailed the the modern version of that was uh my man and yours will miles uh he was like when people go like you know your your wife is a comedian you're a comedian is that tough and he's like it wasn't tough for pam and jim you know it's like same kind of shit but i can make it work it could be bad because sam is the boss so to your point sean yeah i don't know diane is definitely a supporter then yes that's true even though he's intellectual superior, though. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Same with me and my wife.

She's smarter than me by a mile. I'm truthfully afraid to co-sign that. Sam Malone, excellent first pick. Okay, thank you. Absolute, absolute fucking boss. David Borey, time for your first pick. I got to also pick the first guy that popped into my head. I love a rascal boss.

I love a boss who's a bit of a cheat. You love a rascal flat. Yeah, I love a rascal flat. I love a rascal round, honestly. Bring it downtown. This is why I wanted you to go. I was giving this to you. Yeah, I gotta take Buck Strickland from King of the Hill.

Hell yeah, you do. Yes, dude. He's constantly taking mentors that he does not have the capacity to help out. He's always having a bypass. He's always talking about like a bypass. He's got a heart attack survivor. He calls it an infarction. Yeah.

Metacardial infarction. Yeah. Just a horn dog. Always trying to get Hank to go to the strip club in the middle of a workday. Dude, I love also owns a barbecue restaurant for no reason. Like, come on man that's that guy's doing okay man sleeping at the office quite a bit like waking up gambling often yeah dude i see that few i see that future for myself surviving some heart trouble and

owning a barbecue spot that's not a bad life also like hank's father figure who i mean i could go on that show about on about that show for days but like actually hank's better father figure than his real father which is saying something because at buck strickland is not like a role model you know he is for hank hank loves him yeah because hank is the most loyal person ever but this this is not about Hank. This is about Buck. He has a place called Sugarfoots. He has sex with so many of his employees. All of them. He's just always up to his nuts and guts. That guy.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a man who's lived many lives, much like Sean Jordan bartending at the Kentucky Derby, dude. That's a guy who's lived a lot of lives. Yeah. Very similar. Buck Strickland. Excellentickland excellent pick excellent pick yeah dude see on jordan uh first pick i that buck strickland was was tied with one of two so i had a feeling david would take it so set my uh other first pick uh paulie from goodfellas paul sorvino oh yeah yeah man that's

so good just like the boss you know never crossed my when they when they zoom in on his face and he's like that's what people don't understand all the mob is is uh security for wise guys they go to us when they can't go to the cops or whatever and it's just zooming in on paul and he's just sitting there eating looking nice but no one sausage sandwich beautiful pants at a barbecue ray leone gets out and he just gives him money he's like slapping him like don't don't you lie to me and gives him like that that like one of those and you oh jesus paulie yeah you know that was improvised that slap there was not a script yeah i he really uh wasn't ray because he had died but someone posted that that slap he just did it in the moment he's like you know he says like don't make a schmuck

out of me or whatever he says and he just smacks him and it's such a good it's such a good dad smack it's so fast perfect at the perfect amount of strength in that smack yeah and just got his attention he's like whoa yeah all right probably i won't rest in peace to both of those dudes man yeah i know that's i was thinking about that that's wild he was just like that like he didn't move like polly didn't move for anybody right that's like yeah didn't talk on the phone just the boss shit people came to him running through the rain if those are the only two qualities of that man, I'll follow him anywhere. And he had a third quality,

which was he hosted barbecues where people cooked those spiral sausages. You remember that? Oh, my God. Uncut sausage. Oh, my God. So good. I remember seeing that sausage and being like, why don't we do that?

That's so great. I looked at that and I was like, the fuck are the Carmels doing at home on this Johnsonville bullshit? And that's out there in the world we could have a 15 foot curled up sausage instead of a tiny six inch one i could just have a giant one yeah it just looks more whimsical but it makes me think that there's more magic in the world and speak oh speaking of magic speaking as a sap when his daughter won an

oscar and she talked about what his what her father. He is helplessly sobbing. There is no sobbing. I watched it, and I've never related to a man harder. Because it's just like, if something really gets me, I'm done. I'm done. And I'm like, you know. He falls apart like an Ikea bookshelf. Just like. His wife is holding his arm as if he's about to fly away with tears.

Also, a thicker cut of gabagool. Yes. Who lived, you know, lived a long, a long illustrious life. He stuck around. A thicker cut of gabagool. A thicker cut.

I'm going to watch a super cut of him from Goodfellas today on YouTube. There's got to be one of him. I'm not just throwing Goodfellas, dude. What do I know about running a restaurant? I show up, I order the food I eat,

and that's all I know. I don't know. Just the boss man just such a good pick dude i cannot compliment you enough on that one wow i thought i was gonna get it later i was a fool i kind of had a feeling that you were that you were clocking that one so i had to i had to slide in on it i was circling we were circling yeah yeah that's what we do baby we circle time for my first pick i'm going to that's an afp dude we circle i'm going i'm going to the animated world i'm joining my friend david boring the animated world i am taking uh the the greatest boss from the i think the maybe my favorite show one of the greatest shows i am taking hank scorpio from the simpsons oh okay

incredible i could have gotten hank scorpio later i don't give a fuck he's in one episode and he's a hall of famer off of that episode alone oh yeah oh he's he's basically he's basically a mob boss he's voiced by albert brooks not a mob boss he's like a he's a bond villain yeah yeah yeah he's basically a bond villain homer goes to work for him to run his nuclear department and he's the most fun guy in the world he's just he's just so fun he's like a fun boss he wears jeans to work he didn't even give you his coat he's amazing it's albert brooks who just has one of the most gifted voices yeah comedic and just like the way it sounds on earth he's fucking hilarious he does i just watch drive and he's even funny in drive

which is not funny just the way he talks and drive is funny yeah it's so good yeah i mean albert brooks is a guy who when he was a kid like goofing off in front of Carl Reiner. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what I heard. Carl would go out. He was like in the Tonight Show. He's like, there's a kid. I know it's my friend's son and he's the funniest person I've ever met. Like he should be playing in the curtain

saying some bullshit. It's like he's crushing like he had the gift because he was just friends with Rob Reiner. Yeah. Who's his dad am i gonna sound like an asshole here uh i don't i don't really i don't know off the top of my head but they okay it was something you know it's not mel brooks that's why it's a stupid thing i was gonna say his real name is albert einstein that's hilarious i forgot about that's his real name and his brother bob einstein super dave osborne yes yeah what wait is that super that's albert brooks brother yeah may he rest in peace

yep whoa they kind of sound alike yeah and you know what i i'm remembering now dang this is the greatest showbiz story of all time i'll keep it to five seconds their dad played a friar's roast was just a comedian that was like a working man a ham and and egg. Harry Mark. You know? Yeah. And he gets on stage and he destroyed in a packed house full of legends so hard. He destroyed so hard that people couldn't handle it and were like, who the fuck is this guy? And he was already up there and he had some sort of existing condition.

This is true. He sat down at the table and died. What? True story. He killed that guy. He killed somebody with comedy? No, no, he died. He did.

After his set, he died. Bob Einstein's dad died? Their father died. Their father sat. Oh, God. Send me out on that fucking rail, dude. Dave told that story on a podcast. That was awesome.

So talk about a boss. I'm better than all of you. See you on the other side. Fucking amazing. Yeah, so. that is so much so much anyway his son voiced hank scorpio uh yeah sorry sorry back back to the hammocks uh there's a nice place called mary mary ann's hammocks nice thing about that mary ann gets in the hammock with you uh he's just amazing he's like a really good boss he's like earnestly like a great boss like the kind of boss you would want to have he just happens to be a bond villain yeah and when homer

goes back to springfield to work at the nuclear power plant he buys him the denver broncos after he takes over the eastern seaboard yeah so not that i loved it not like i loved it well you wanted the dallas cowboys yeah exactly back then they weren't doing that well david i you know that was the show some people are doing good some people are not some people well and i love uh well i hate to see you go homer but uh hey on the way out do me a favor kill a couple people really appreciate it uh so i'm taking hank scorpio such a good pick dude oh god now i gotta go ah maybe where do i go from here okay i'm going the other side of the coin i'm taking hank scorpio such a good pick dude oh god now i gotta go ah maybe where do i go from here okay i'm going the other side of the coin i'm taking somebody who wouldn't be a great

boss but who is an absolute fucking boss okay i'm going to new york city we're flying we're flying over a perfectly made grilled cheese sandwich made by your boy ad Adrian Grenier from Entourage. And we're cycling down to Madison Avenue, and we are drafting Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada. Yes, I knew it. I knew someone else would do it. Such a good pick. You know, I just watched it about a week ago. She's phenomenal in that movie.

It's such a good movie. She's fucking great. Now, you wouldn't want to have Miranda Priestly as your boss. But Meryl Streep at the fucking height of her powers. My God. Now, let me, if I may. Go on. When you have that person as your boss, and I know the whole point of the movie is you get what you want.

You realize you didn't want it that bad and what's really important. But she did make her into what Anne Hathaway thought she wanted to be. Having that boss made her accomplish that. So she wasn't all bad. I mean, she did get her thought she wanted to be having that boss made her accomplish that so she wasn't all bad i mean she did get her where she wanted to go and you know granted she is evil in the movie and she doesn't have any redeeming like even at the end she just doesn't redeem herself but she got her where she wanted to go right well she's gone sorry i would say she is what she is you know she reminds me of jk simmons in uh in um oh god thank you where it's like this i am forging you into something else because i can do nothing else that scene

where she schools her about that color she's wearing about what good what fashion actually is like this is how stupid you are yeah so it's like i i i would say i would say she's a drill sergeant for life in a lot of ways so it's like that's a good thing it's harsh yeah she but she made her deal too she's like destroyed her own personal life you know what i mean it's not like she's not a hypocrite or anything like that she's like this is if you want to do this i guess this is how it has to be maybe it doesn't have to be like that but she's based on Anna Wintour, the editor of Vogue, who's a real person and who was nicknamed Nuclear Wintour. That's hilarious.

I love it. That's funny. Because she's kind of a, you know, she's a fucking boss and maybe a nightmare. And maybe we fetishize that boss, you know, behavior too much in this culture, but we're fucking drafting. Miranda Priestly played by Meryl Streep.

I just fucking, just one of the great performances of all time and just like a fucking boss. Absolutely. Yes, that's my pick. And now it is time for Sean Jordan's second pick. I have to dive into the cult classic world of cinema and I'm going to go to a little movie

called Office Space. I'm going to pick Bill Lumberg. Keeping it in the Mike Judge universe. It's just one of the best boss characters there's ever been in the whole world. Everything about him. Everything about him everything about and

he's a horrible boss but i mean if i'm picking if i want a strong team of bosses oh that guy's the most bossed ever dressed like a little more expensive than everybody who works there so you know he's the boss that is some office boss just the white collar looks at his porsche just to make sure it's still a porsche when he of it. You know, the whole nine. Not enough has been said about the comedic prowess of Gary Cole. He's very funny, man. That dude is so I mean, he's probably my favorite thing about Ricky Bobby. Yeah, he's great.

Talladega Nights. This dad with a tall can of laughing clown malt liquor at all times he's so goddamn funny he just has perfect delivery all the voices he does in king of the hill and everything else he just has a perfect delivery so good who does he voice in king of the hill i think he voices tons of people over there but he's not like a main guy he's just like does all their other okay great well dude i, I could tell you something that'll fuck up your heads real bad right now. Yeah. You know, it doesn't matter because it didn't go, but they did an animated pilot for Carl

Welzine, Dad Boner, Mike Burns' character. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did Carl. Oh, fuck, man. I feel like I could drink a thousand beers, you guys. You know? Yeah. man really feel like i could drink a thousand beers you guys you know yeah i my wife might kill me for sharing that but i don't know why she cares it was years ago but it's like fucking industry doesn't know what the fuck it's doing seriously dude oh my god yeah uh except when they put sean jordan on tv yeah that's right thank you he's the principal and family guy is what it

is but anyway i think just the boss he's just bill lumberg it's just fantastic when they he's got a coffee mug and he's like slow-mo fucking in ron livingston's mind you know and he's like kind of sweaty and you just hate him so much you hate him so much the author hannah errant when uh journalist hannah errant when writing about adolf eichmann coined the term the banality of evil. Oh, yeah. Wow. Good pull. Are you reading The Rise of Totalitarianism?

No, I just have... No, are you reading The Rise of Totalitarianism? Yeah, that's why I thought you brought that up. Oh, shit. Or the... Yeah, no. We can get to this later. We can get to this later. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Guys, this is a real meat cube. Yeah. I guess she's not a journalist.'s just a writer hannah erin she's like a essayist anyway she's writing about eichmann the banality evil and bill lundberg is like the encapsulation of the banality of evil and how that heartless boss but almost kind of like dumb to his ways i don't know that he even realizes it i think he just kind of is that person oh he's the system dude yeah he's harmless like he's because it shows when peter gets a little confidence it shows that bill can be told what to do he just needs someone to step to him a little bit so it's

funny he's like yeah he just is that way and you don't even think he realizes it but yeah bill lumberg man gets under your skin and i've had i've had bill lumberg as a boss at many call centers people think that they don't exist they exist for real that weirdly aloof guy do people think they don't exist people have shitty bosses oh yeah i think like call center cubicle stuff i office space really brought it to the forefront but like that is how it is yeah those jobs they are like that completely bosses well we're talking to a listening audience who mostly isn't stand-up comedians so they know the biggest thing about bill to me was that he wasn't enough of an asshole it was a crazy thing because he was he was familiar yeah you're gonna probably have to yeah like it's something you agreed with.

Like, I didn't say I wanted to come in on Saturday. What is this shit? It's unearned familiarity. It's just, you know, you're not my friend. Shut up. 100%. Yeah. Well, it's time to get familiar in an earned way with David Borey's second pick.

I'm taking from the show Party Down, Ronald Wayne. Oh, good one. Ken Marino's character. Oh, dude. Everybody has had that boss who's just fucking hanging on by a thread. Just wanted to be so cool. Bro, you're not even supposed to be the boss. And we all know.

And we're getting through it. The idea of the boss that nobody respects is like, I've had that at a couple gas station jobs where you're like, oh, shit, yeah. Blank is working a day. I'm stealing everything. I had that at a, I don't even want to say which job, just in case you listen. But I'm just like, oh, dude. Oh, dude.

Oh, man. You okay, man? You feel bad? Do you want to talk? I remember nobody here respects you nobody i dude i remember when i worked at pf chang's the main i got fired for like no call no showing it was a misunderstanding i didn't mean to no call no show right anyway anyway he cried while he was firing me oh god i was like oh come on come on hey it's all right i'm 22 yeah you know like it's gonna be all right

talking like you got a family you know like it's gonna be all right talking like you got a family you gotta support i'm gonna be okay do you think he ever sees you on the late late show and he's like i fired that guy i hope so i hope and then i hope he feels better about it he was a really he was a sweet guy but he was kind of you know yeah no sometimes sometimes the boss is just the guy who was willing to do it yes that guy was stuck around i got a buddy who uh he got caught smoking weed in the cooler where he worked and the boss because it doesn't smell though that is i've done that's that was the place to do it the boss like walked in on him i think and then anyway the next day the boss is like

what would you do and he goes what i'd fire me obviously and the boss still i think the boss still was like well all right you're fired but like felt bad about doing it still even though he was like i'd probably fire me it's also like that that party down character is like the boss who believes in the company so much and you're like bro we're ripping people off yeah yeah yeah he's like i'm just saving up to buy a Super Crackers or whatever his deal was. It feels to me that show didn't keep going, man. I feel like if they made it now, it would go on like

six, seven, eight seasons, but it was only two, right? Yeah. I thought they were bringing it back. I thought I heard something about that. There's whispers all the time. There's going to be a Party Down movie people say. Oh, that's what it was. Yeah, I got my finger on the guy now. Talk to your people, man. Get get it to come back recently appeared on the

columbia broadcasting system just this week so yeah fucking so good dude uh excellent pick ronald wayne matt bronger time for your second and your third picks okay so i took a wild swing with this one i like coming on this show and doing wild swings. The first time I was on this show, we drafted nineties rap albums. Yes. And the amount of shit I took online for not drafting Wu Tang's enter the 36 chambers. Like people were like,

it was like, it was all me, you know, it was like, you know, no, I took above the laws. album because like i am a big gravel pit guy earlier yeah gravel pits dope but like my my uh anyway like when that was my that

was my jam and like like high school so it's like i gotta pick the thing that's hot to me so is this where we have to tell you that riz is a real person and you can't pick him in the fictional boss i didn't think about it no there's no w-Tang. I didn't pick. No, no. Fictional, fictional. This is maybe the most fictional boss, I will call it, on the entire show. I don't know if you can beat me for fictional. I went with the alien queen from Aliens.

Oh, yeah. Talk about a final boss. This is just a big mama just trying to have kids. Yeah. Like a thousand young on this planet you know, on this planet. Just trying to get hers. You know, and it, to me, that's probably the best final boss fight because Ripley shows up in the fucking construction suit. Yeah.

And he's like, get away from her, you bitch. You bitch. Yeah. It's so hard. I mean, talk about nipples. Mine just got hard. Yeah. So, like, it's, you know, I wanted to go with,, I talk about nipples. Mine just got hard. Yeah. So like it's,

I wanted to go with the talk about a boss. There is nothing past her, you know, of all those scary. And there's nothing more hardcore. There's, there's nothing more savage than a mother protecting her young. We all know that.

And there's nothing more savage than those aliens. Like so fucking scary fanged and wet, have an extra mouth that comes out and bites you in the face. Fanged and wet? Yeah. Wet and, like, shiny and wet and, like, ugh. So horrifying. Like, Geiger, that was the whole point of the character's design, right?

That it was supposed to be, like, penetrative and, like, sexual. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like a dominatrix. Yeah. She's going to put something in you that you may or may not want in you she really is god talk about it walk around with it in you talk about a pegging i just yanked my collar open for those of you listening at home it was a classic comedy moment i just i just think like that's a boss to me and that's an ultimate fictional boss you know

thinking about i probably should have gone number one but i just wanted to go wild with this one so i mean if we're putting them all in a fight it's either her or buck strickland coming out on top buck's resources will i think they would get along just fine those two i think buck could be like that i found it yeah better than you want it to be i'm getting remarried i'm in love aliens man did you did everyone see the new predator movie i loved it i loved it so much oh yeah it's so good dude right up my alley action so just a buck i can't decide if it's an action or a horror movie or probably just deliciously both i don't know it's a delicious combo it's so yeah man it's predator fighting fucking bears dude i'll take that oh yeah give me as many of those you want give me all the meals you got man for real the alien queen excellent pick thank you thank you uh so then i will go to um uh

i'll go ahead and go michael scott all right yeah i just yeah you know i feel like it's so that that is the that is the enter the 36 chambers i didn't mention last time because it is universal. And it's everything we talked about with Ken on Party Down and a little bit with Bill. This is a sad, broken human being who needs friends. It's a not sexy draft in the left tackle, but you can't run a football team without words. You really need it and you know it's as much it's one of those things where this person is so broken and lonely they need friendship but it's turned them into an asshole and you can't let your life get colored by their horse shit you know and that's

why it's fascinating i love it is also such a like this so like what like i don't know we get to like manicure our or not i don't know manicure is not the right word we get to sort of like curate our groups of people who we spend time with like as comedians and everything yeah every now and then you you run into people who like you know you have to work with someone where you're like i don't really vibe with this person but like at school at other jobs you run into that fucking michael scott dude where you're like yeah this dude somehow has like so much confidence but it's because he has no confidence in a real way but like it's just like fuck dude you just you just don't get it you're not picking up on anyone else's vibes it's just like wasn't he really good at the job though too like he was a great salesman right

yeah yeah weirdly talented they allude to it sometimes when he had to turn it on and they're like oh it happened a couple times and it's like that's what he should be doing but he was there so long they had to make him the boss yeah you know and he was also like a good like a like a good friend and like a good like good dude where you're just like man you're it's not for lack of trying yeah but he would also throw you under the bus for someone he wanted their friendship from more right so it's like there's an evil there too it is and it's and it's that we've all i've mentioned this and i can't put my finger on what to call it we've all been around those people who they're they're like insecure and they they get too familiar and they like they want shit from you without giving anything back.

But if you called them on it, it would shatter them. So you're basically held hostage. Does that make any sense? Yes, absolutely. You know, where it's just like,

you know, like the extreme is someone that's a dick at parties. And you're like, I, I know that's your cousin. So I can't say shit. You know, I can't tell this guy to his face.

He needs to move out of his parents' house, you know, because, because it guy to his face he needs to move out of his parents house you know because because it would break him he would his eyes would go blank and he'd walk into traffic like he would die I know what you're saying man where you want to tell someone something but you're like I can't have to

eat it I'm gonna have to eat this one yep I'm just gonna have to take the abuse just the just the duration of this party but to Ian's point yeah you're stuck yeah you can't leave you're fucking in there yeah Steve Carell never this is fucking insane never won an Emmy for playing Michael Scott in all those seasons never never won it and consequently he has kind of spent the rest of his career playing these like very not that yeah roles that like aspire to be prestigey you know what i mean like if they just would have given him one or two emmys that he deserved by the way that he fucking deserved i don't know if we ever see like welcome

to marwin or like interesting you know what i mean yeah it's a really interesting point attempts to like be a prestigy actor yeah and in real life wasn't that one of them yeah yeah the uh the whole the monologue or the the scene in uh 40 year old virgin where he's talking about like what a woman's body feels like and just failing god that's from a thing he used to do at second city where you just sit on stage and talk about it's like a guy bragging about women he slept with but he just he's he's like you know you you touch your breast it's like a bag of sand feels like a bag of sand what oh that was so funny that was like a lot like i heard that from people older than me that that was like

oh that was a thing that's all him like he's such a genius he's so fucking funny yeah he's just one of those people you're like oh you're funny bag of sand what are you thinking what do you think oh god uh excellent pick thank you two bangers i mean michael scott he's a fucking classic david boy time for your third pick can't believe she's still even still on the board i'm picking selena meyer from veep oh yeah oh good one like i, just utility player, everything you want out of a boss. So funny. So competent. Just absolutely perfect.

Yeah. She was vice president of the United States and then president. I've never seen Veep. I haven't either. Really? I've never watched it. It's so funny. I've never watched it.

That's why I couldn't do it. Laura was telling me. I'm like, I can't do it because I won't be able to wax about it. I know how much people love it. It's not like a little boosie situation or anything uh yeah you guys should watch it you guys should watch it it's very funny it's amazing right i hear it's amazing it's just like a great yeah it's just a great show man she's selena meyer is so funny just raunchy when she needs to be raunchy like yeah just really good i got no excuse i have no excuse i don't know why it was one of those things where it kept happening and i think that's when i was smoking a lot of weed and playing nba

2k and doing very little else and like then it then it was like felt daunting because it was like so far down the line and people would talk about it and I would lie. I would lie. I sure lied to people. I've done that about shows. I would vaguely talk about it. I'd be like, oh, she's so funny. Doc, that's what it is to live in Los Angeles, lying about TV shows you've seen. I lied. I'm done lying now. I'm done.

I haven't seen it. I'm stronger. I haven't seen that. I haven't seen The New Adventures of Old Christine. I haven't seen that either. I haven't watched Euphoria. I haven't seen that i haven't seen the new adventures of old christine i haven't seen that either i haven't watched i haven't watched euphoria i haven't watched i can't handle the kids i tried to watch it and i was like this is this is not i can't watch a whole show about high school kids getting it i mean that's like the whole show that's a bit i didn't see blade runner until like four or five months ago and I lied about that heavy. That's a big one people lie about.

Heavy. People lie about classics, man. I haven't seen Gone with the Wind. I just know context clues. Don't. I shan't. Frankly, Ian, I don't give a damn. You know, my dad just said he's like, I don't know why you'd ever watch that.

He was just like, in his head, he's like i don't know why you'd ever watch that like he was just like like in his head he's like fuck that movie that like that that movie blew up because it was people were just like you know what we were pretty hard on the south for no reason like that's the whole theme of that goddamn movie oh my god there was a reason let's be honest so that's us coming clean selena meyer yeah i love you i love julia louis dreyfus i love her she's and it's her being peak it's her being peak jld you know what i mean she's just doing her thing yeah she's great she's so great traits of like all her all her stuff that she does she she has in there she's also very rarely in my letter it's on this podcast just beautiful oh yeah she's devastated she always has been is that oh my god is that where lech comes from that word you just said say that say that yeah what does that mean

like someone who like you're like my mom calls my grandpa a lech all the time is that where that comes from yeah i believe it must be yeah yeah okay i think it's because every when she when she was in the hospital when she broke her neck a couple years ago uh i used to have to take my grandpa to the hospital this year every day if anyone got on the elevator that wasn't a guy and didn't matter he'd he'd like elbow me because he had a couple strokes and he's he's almost gone he'd elbow me he'd be like oh boy and he'd say it loud dude i'm like grandpa you gotta fucking stop oh boy and he would and he looked he looked like like if i like a kid was looking at like a giant bag of twix or something and he'd just be like oh and making these noises and shit i'm like you gotta stop women same thing it's it was crazy i've never seen anyone do that in my

life and oh boy i tell my mom and she's like larry you're being a latch on the elevator i guess that means gnarly it means gnarly oh boy oh boy it was serious like wiley coyote eyes popping out of his head type shit uh fantastic selena meyer sean jordan time for your third pick uh third i'm gonna go one for me uh i don't i don't think any y'all have seen gray's anatomy i have i love it it's one of my favorite shows. I'm going to pick Dr. Miranda Bailey from Grey's Anatomy. Have any of you seen Grey's Anatomy at all? No. A long time ago.

I figured this one was going to get slipped in. Not too much about it, but she's just such a fantastic boss. She's the head of surgery. For a while, she's under Dr. Richard Weber, and then she gets promoted. She's just an amazing boss. For a while, she's under Dr. Richard Weber, and then she gets promoted. And so she's just an amazing boss.

She really cares about every single person there. It's a soap opera. It's a drama. She absolutely kills it. She's been on the show for 16 years or some shit. Not boring at all. She's one of three original cast members that are still on the show. And I just love her to pieces.

She makes me cry probably the most out of anyone on the show which you know they all make me cry ain't no secret your boy cries so it's all right yeah it's all right miranda you mean like paul sorvino the ultimate boss yeah dude yeah me and paul man we got a lot we got a same dude circle sausages dude you can't see in the backyard how do they make it circle i don't it's so good i think it comes out like that it does but how do you make it stay on the i don't know i don't know who's to say i don't know that at ancient italian secret i'm sorry that's a whole that's a whole nother long podcast but now dr miranda bailey from gray's anatomy third nice it's great man i i love it i love it so much okay yeah i heard you i heard you i hear you loud i hear you clear so speaking of daunting i don't even know how you undertook that i mean that's but i start i started when i live

with you a couple times so scary my weight loss was easier than you watching all of great anatomy you watched all of it like you've seen every episode that's incredible every single so we started about two months into covid and then and then we just started going through ivf and then pregnancy it's like it's pretty easy to do there was nothing going on so it was really i just watched like four a day i'd go skate for like four hours. And that was my awake time for the day. I got hella physical. I'd hella rot my brain on Grey's Anatomy. And then, you know, do this once a week.

That was my life. And then you got through. Yeah, I made it out. I made it out the trap. And now I'm better for it. And now I have seen 380 episodes, probably, of Grey's Anatomy. That's so much. That's more than one a day.

380 hours. God. Yeah, dude. And then Laura tries to give me shit, but I'm like, we didn't live together this whole time? You were right. She was right there. Right there.

You could have stopped me. Don't you front on me. Yeah, you could have changed the channel. You didn't. Dr. Miranda Bailey a character we all treasure yeah we do time for my third and fourth picks

I'm going to go two heavy hitters back and forth here with my third pick I'm taking Goro from the Mortal Kombat franchise oh that's a great final boss. Great final boss. Never gets old to me. Please tell, just say it in your words,

what happened when you saw Goro in the movie theater? Never gets old here in this story. I was, I don't remember my exact age, but it was, hold on, let me see. I can tell you my exact age. Yeah, check when did it go out, Playboy. Yeah, because it was in the theater. I'm going to say 94 is when it came out.

Yep, that's right. It was, I know it was the 90s because I was in college and. I'm going to say 94 is when it came out. Yep. That's right. I know it was the 90s because I was in college and I was high as shit when I saw that movie. 1995. So I was 11. I was either 10 or 11. I was probably 10. And I went to the theater and Goro came out. I'm 10 years old.

I'm a decade old. I'm 10. And I had the... Goro walks out four arms, movie magic by the way movie magic he looks scary big dude jacked jacked four arms all buff there's not like two buff arms and two smaller arms for dexterous activities he didn't have two bulky ones for strong and two small ones for fast four big arms bare chest thick legs dude top knot weird hair okay yeah he walks out i had to leave the theater i was too i was too afraid i just love that you got so afraid was bear there

no it was my it was my uh stepbrother at the time james cayenne shout out to james wherever he is i had to leave and i made him go with me. I was fucking. I think he thought it was safe at 10. Those big arms scared big carms, dude. Big arms scared little carms, dude. It was so fucking scary. Goro is terrifying. He rips people's arms off.

He hits them with it. He's giant. Why does he have four arms? Nobody else has four. Everyone else in Mortal Kombat is pretty much like a person. You know? They're all just kind of people and then here's this four-armed buff

strong dude, thick brolic demon guy. Somebody had to... I learned this very late in life. I used to joke about how the problem with the movie Rocky IV is the weight class rule is out the fucking window where I'm just like, alright, Rocky weighs half what Ivan

Drago weighs. Like, look at this. He's got a head and a chest over him. Way more weight. And then someone was like, no, but the weight class, if you're above the weight class, there's no next weight class. So you're still in that weight class. And I was like, oh, fuck. So Goro is

beyond. Goro probably weighs 600 pounds like a gorilla. He's got two extra arms i mean yeah the arms alone and isn't he hella tall yeah he's super tall yeah he's like ivan drago immortal combat i mean he's like a four-armed ivan drago he's like yeah it always bothered me in the arcade when someone like johnny cage would beat goro and you're like, no way. Scorpion, maybe. An actor? Yeah. No. And I'm sorry, Chris Pine beat up a forearm buff demon? Nah, dude.

He was full on. I mean, he was supposed to be Jean-Claude Van Damme. Chris Pine beat up two Lawrence Taylors put together? No way, dude. Yeah. Piggyback Lawrence Taylor? Absolutely not. No way.

No way. Brock Lesnar times two, and he's fighting, and I'm sorry, he's fighting who now? Steve Buscemi? Absolutely not. No way. No way. Brock Lesnar times two, and he's fighting, and I'm sorry, he's fighting who now? Steve Buscemi? Absolutely not. And it's the fact that he's scary with a top knot. It is like, that's, I would just imagine Brock Lesnar with a top knot, and I think I would. That's the name of your next special, by the way, right? Scary with a top knot?

Brock Lesnar with a top knot. It's not a scary look. It's a nature guy look. Yeah, it look it's a it's a it's a it's a nature guy look yeah it is yeah it's a gentle guy rock lesnar seems like he would go he could go either way if he found out the title of one of our albums was brock lesnar with a top knot he could be like i hope you like it pretty stoked on it or he could he could kill you about it yeah the name of the next special is doug october 6th available at moment.co lighting it up nice time for my next pick santa claus it was in front of all of us all along yeah yeah that's great that's great that's a great call

that's great now some would say mrs claus is the is the real boss is what they would say. Nice. That pick's going to go down in herstory, Sean. That's nice, Sean. That's good, dude. Yeah, just a guy. All right, take Mrs. Claus. No, you can take Mrs. Claus. I don't know what the working conditions are at the North Pole, but I imagine for him to have kept the same staff for this long,

the same reindeer for this long, I'm for this long i'm thinking benefits i'm thinking ownership stake in the company i'm hoping so i'm thinking i'm thinking like hour lunches 15 minute breaks i'm thinking like pretty good break room you know what i mean otherwise there would have been a strike there would have been an uprising and a lot of catered lunches huh a lot of catered lunches foosball table all out on your birthday massage chair christmas eve all the elves Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertisement. Advertis his mouth is you know what i mean he's out there dude he's out there him and the reindeer him and the the board out there figuring out how to give toys to children who live in apartments that's right yeah not a very urban tale we didn't have a chimney as a kid yeah too like what the fuck i was like is he just coming in the front door that ain't magical he's climbing the stairs yeah my man's sneaking through the balcony elevator's broken so he's taking the stairs and somebody peed in there i also had questions about how christmas presents showed

up at my house but he got him you know what i mean he got him there santa claus dude fun outfit still defying age stereotypes still a boss you know at the age of a thousand something. Still putting the work in. Just a real boss. Has several employees. Runs a factory. Name the reindeer for me. Go for it. You got it? Blitzen.

Donner. Dasher. Dancer. Right? Wait. Prancer? That's fine. yep dasher dancer uh-huh right yeah yep wait prancer uh-huh that's five how many are there eight comet uh-huh yep yep rudolph right linebacker's coming in watch watch your back sad blitz and blitz got it nice hint and donner did you say donner of course richard donner bro did you say donner yeah i'll say donner dude donner dude if i had to rank my favorite uh reindeer dude i'd probably go donner no matter what i do because honor just seems like

he'd be the most like sort of chill to hang out with rudolph like when hollywood dude he's swole man he is swole have you seen donner lately he got huge he got huge bro donner started doing crossfit dude and like he's on like a high protein cod based diet he's on his rock shit dude he looks like a kangaroo now all the rest still look like reindeer donner's got like a big old chest brawler dude donner did all that with medicine ball training that's the thing's the thing about Donner, dude. He's not even like, he won't, he's mostly body weight and medicine ball. He doesn't even work out, dude.

He just quit drinking soda. That's all you gotta do. Yeah, dude. Sinterklaas, dude. That's my fourth pick, and we're gonna get to Sean's fourth pick right after we take another break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything

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Sean Jordan elucidate us, if you will, with your fourth pick in the fictional bosses fantasy draft. Let me know if I can do this. Go on. I'm going to pick Frylock. Yeah! He was the boss of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force, right? Oh, I guess. Were they an organization?

He was the boss. If they were, he was the boss. Yeah, he was for sure the boss. They didn't treat him like a leader, but he was the boss if they were yes he was the boss yeah he was the leader the boss they they didn't treat him like a leader but he was the leader we're a little harder down the trough now and so i feel like it i would allow it i start bouncing on the handlebars david ian yeah if you want to take fry lock i do i i like fry i like fry lock more as a dude than a boss i just kind of like fry lock because sometimes you see that he has braces. That's my, oh, which is that, Eddie, or the juice?

That's Spagadward. Spagadward? Yeah, man, I like Frylock that he has laser eyes and he only uses them when he has to. And you maybe like once every 10th episode, you see that he has braces and it's really funny to me. And you also see that he has a giant diamond on his back like twice yeah in the whole series of that show and i just love that show so much i just love it's so good i like how shake thinks he's the boss but frylock is the boss like you just you know they are an organization they're like they're superhero organization doesn't even try no he never he never tries at all meat was classic

comedy power trio tropes you know right yeah i've been reading books lately harry boss yeah the hapless oh and then which one's the fool is meatwad yeah yep am i the fool the carpenter what okay i'm not a i'm just checking we're not a classic comic we we defy tropes and yeah don't worry about what we're doing so true nba we're like more like an nba big three we're like chris mullen mitch richmond and uh who am i forgetting if anything we're the four-man band if we're talking about tropes because because we have marissa hell yeah that's right we're the beatles dude we're the big dude. We're the shitty Beatles. From Liverpool.

It's not just a clever title. And Bronger's Billy Preston. Yeah! Oh, dude. That poor guy. He was gay. And they didn't care. I thought his afro was just really big.

Is that an indicator? I didn't know that was a tell. You know what they say about Billy Preston, right? You know what I mean? Big afro. A little bit of a big afro, if you know what I'm talking about. Really big afro. Kind of a gentleman with a big afro.

I'll take it. Billy Preston was dope. Hell yeah. Yeah, Frylock. Go on. Pick a Frylock. Thank you. If anyone at home is wondering eddie did

knock over most of the things on this desk so she could flop down and be near the computer yeah man kitty stuff and now she's biting cords stop it okay i'm back sorry i mean that's what i do when i want to be on the couch i just kind of knock down whatever's on the couch and then i'm on the couch that's what i do too and she doesn't have thumbs why are you biting everything what'd she say she's not talking to me dude she's not talking to you right now she's been out of order for biden she's been pissed ever since yeah i was wondering i was wondering where you were in early january i missed you i missed you i I was there, dude. Where? Deep cover. Antifa. Man, so I stayed up pretty late last night watching myself on TV.

And they do not stop running smear campaigns past like one in the morning. It's like one big smear campaign. Every commercial. Every single commercial. You got cable? Well, we have, you know, CBS. Like we have the basics. But yeah, it's just like these people not even saying what they're gonna do they're just like this person got caught with oxycontin and then they and then they show a bunch of cut up lines of oxy and you're like i

bet it wasn't like it's just not even a politician they're just fucking like ragging on dudes jake craig who works at costco won't stop doing oxycontin i mean they fired me for round table pizza what do you want why are you going after me i don't have a job i'm the only one who's been fired in the whole history of the organization uh david boy time for your fourth pick uh my fourth pick i i was just watching it last night and i was like you know what she's gonna make the list i'm taking uh ava coleman from abbott elementary oh played by janelle james new edition i love it so fucking funny i mean we've all known janelle was funny forever but like so funny so incompetent i love a horny boss i love a horny boss yeah i love a boss who's out

there making fun of her employees like boss slash bully is a fun dynamic oof watch abbott if you haven't season two just came out and she's so good she's so good also shout out to our man jordan temple writing on there they got they're doing it over there yeah they are that's just amazing ava she's uh she's just so funny and it's funnier with kids just anybody who's willing to call a kid stupid it's so funny yeah oh my god and then she has that thing where ultimately she's actually not a bad person like it's just all the fun boss tropes she's human she's a human being yeah yeah and hilarious what a great just network sitcom it's just like showing it's like hey it you can you can still do it yeah you can still do it you can use that the platform there the format still works it's also a comedy that's mostly a comedy and not a comedy that is sometimes a comedy you know it's

just so nice yeah yeah um ava coleman great pick matt pronger time for your fourth and then your final pick as it is a serpentine draft okay so my my my final pick was tough uh well your fourth pick and then your final pick fine oh okay so i get two okay then i have two great back-to-back jacks okay so first one is a deep cut but i feel like this guy this guy is an amazing boss and i feel like he got he built an empire and then he felt it slipping away and then he found someone to help him with his empire this probably a little before your guys's time there's a movie called big starring your man and mine tom hanks oh yeah i went with mcmillan from big

who is played by robert logia yeah and he kind of, he's like up against the wall. Why aren't you guys having fun? It's a goddamn toy company. And he wanders down. He like owns FAO Schwartz or whatever. And he wants, or he owns a company that makes, he wanders into FAO Schwartz and he meets a young guy who starts jumping on a piano with him.

And he's like, fuck man, this is what it all comes down to. It comes down to fun. And he's like, I work for your company. He's like, what are you doing? And he's like fuck man that's what it all comes down to comes down to fun and he's like i work for your company he's like what are you doing he's like dad entry whatever he's like dad entry come with me and he gives him a promo and that guy saves the goddamn company because he's secretly uh an undercover boy who has sex with a woman yeah so talk about problematic talk about dope i'm just saying i mean come on let's be real yes sir but at least he's a sweet kid but like a sweet boy yeah yeah and she didn't know she didn't but oh no that's why it's not problematic it's exactly that's 100 but it's um yeah that's you know i thought robert laugia was so good in it. And as that character was just kind of, you know, there's that boss. It's just like, what happened to us, man?

Yeah. People are like the bottom line, dude, stick with it, go with it. And he's like, I don't this isn't fun. I started making toys because it's fun. Yeah. You know, so good. So, yeah. He's normally like a villain.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah he gets murdered by scarface he's scarface's boss and scarface kills him and takes his wife that's right you know what a hassa is frank that's right all i got is my word that's robert lozier i didn't i never put that together i know he's in uh over the top he's like the wicked grandfather and over the top oh yeah he's uh in the sopranos he's um fucking what's the what's his name in the sopranos he's that dude i never watched the soprano yeah i can't i i remember him i don't remember his name yeah he's he's always like

uh a hard bitter man they made him they made him a nice guy and big which is yeah yeah yeah yeah you haven't watched the sopranos you've seen you know all of gray's anatomy i love that you They made him a nice guy in Big, which is great. Yeah. Feet. Yeah. Yeah. You haven't watched The Sopranos? You've seen all of Grey's Anatomy. I love that you love what you love. Yep. Well said. And I love you. And I love you.

Well said. I'm glad you didn't go full chud in on him. Yeah. You know? You call yourself a man? Yeah. Yeah. It's just really good.

I think you'd like it. Yeah. I'm sure I'd like it, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they had the spiral sausage, but still a good show yeah yeah well it's not perfect it's not perfect most people don't have the spiral sausage what do you want to do no and then okay for my final it runs in my family for my final uh boss uh i gotta go with megatron oh yeah yes i mean i think i'm drawn later became galvatron yeah uh

but just pure pure ambitious evil there's nothing good about him he's saddled with a horrible lieutenant starscream who would shoot him in the back of the head if he wasn't so cowardly. Starscream is a punk for real. Starscream! Yeah. Megatron! Yeah. He's so whiny.

But like, yeah, Megatron is just that guy where you're just like that. You know, even as a kid, I was like, that's a terrifying man. That's a mean dad. That's like another kid's dad who you hate, you know, because he's just like, there's nothing but what I want. That's all another kid's dad who you hate. There's nothing but what I want. That's all that exists in this universe. So it's just... Doesn't he turn into a gun?

Yeah, he turns into a weapon of destruction. Everyone else turns into a plane or a truck. It was always weird to me because I'm like, you're the boss, but somebody else has to fire you. Yeah, it's interesting. It's a commentary. Because was always weird to me because I'm like, you're the boss, but somebody else has to fire you. Yeah, it's interesting. It's a commentary. Because he turns into a handgun.

Right. Oh, he needs to be fired by someone I get. It's either a.45 or a Desert Eagle depending on where you grew up. I know what you're saying. I'm going to go with Desert Eagle. More powerful handgun.

That's a cartoon gun. I've never seen a desert Eagle, but I bet you they are. So like, what are you doing? It's so big. It will make you feel so insecure about your hand size and your penis. Yes.

More to the point. Yeah. It's a stupid gun. Like it's so dumb. Like a guy told me, if you just, if you held it with one hand and fired it just emptied a clip it would probably sprain or break your wrist yeah i don't think you're supposed to shoot it with one hand yeah it's crazy no no you're not no but it's just

like that's too much recoil for an unsupported firearm you know what I mean? Like, without a stock. It's so stupid. Yeah. You know. Hand cannons. Hand cannons. Yeah. So, Megatron, nothing else to be said. We all know him. We know him, we love him. Yeah. Just to know him is to love him. Number one in your hearts. Decepticon boss Megatron. I love Megatron. That's a great pick. David,

your final pick. I mean, this is the lightning round. Pinky from next Friday. i mean okay yeah come on man everything's pink he's got a driver the driver hit a guy recently he's he's got a desert eagle yes played by the great clifton powell he's also got some hoes on him can't be mad at that big pinky fan i got some hoes on him. That's a Jerry curl, yeah? Oh, yeah. It's wet. It's wet.

It's soaking wet. Big Worm also would have been a good one, staying in the Friday universe. Also, he was on there, but Pinky was just so quotable. Pinky's more of a traditional boss. Yeah. Yeah. He dances. I love him.

Great. Sean Jordan. Ari Gold. Yeah. Oh, Great. Sean Jordan. Ari Gold. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Good one. What am I doing?

It's like one of my favorite shows in the world. Miller Gold agent thing? Sure. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Who's he based off of? Ari Emanuel. Ari Emanuel.

Head of WME. Okay. Okay. Okay. Brother of Rahm Emanuel. That's right. Power family. Ari Gold. Time for my final pick. I'm taking Jay peterman from seinfeld yeah yeah yeah yeah fucking great boss that's so good

just zoning out so in love with himself yeah just great just always traveling to mongolia buying rare cakes jay Peterman's a real company and they just named this character after him. That's the craziest part about it. How did they get away with that? I don't know. I guess they just had the sauce back then like that. You just do it.

Yeah. God bless them for having the foresight to just go be like, fine, make fun of us. Yeah. So smart. So smart. The best free advertising

they ever could have asked for because it was never that mean. It was just funny. No, it was a corporate guy i always felt like yeah a guy who talks to you like he's schooling you no matter what the conversation is you're just like all right man sit back and listen yeah sean you know late night sets meant a lot more 10 years ago you're like why are you taking this away from me dude you know i saw someone do that to someone they did it about montreal i forget what it was but i saw somebody be like oh shot they were like are people still doing that or whatever and i was in the green room i cannot remember what it was

but i was in the green room and i go whoa what a horrible thing you're doing because this person just got montreal and this other person was acting like it wasn't just like what you did but yeah that other person got in Montreal. I bet. Yes. Years, years prior. Oh, really? And they were like, because it was a big deal when I did it.

And it's not anymore. And I can't remember who it was. But it was one of those things. Oh, no. Is it helium in the green room? I don't know who it was. I cannot remember. Well, that person's a dick.

Yeah. Yeah. Just celebrate what the person has accomplished. You know, as Monty in Chicago, our buddy Monty in Chicago used to say, Well, that person's a dick. Yeah. Yeah. Just celebrate what the person has accomplished. Always. Compare it to, you know, as Monty in Chicago, our buddy Monty in Chicago used to say, compare and despair, man. Compare and despair. Amen, dude.

Yeah. That's it. That's it. Jay Peterman. That concludes the draft. Marissa, do you have a pick of a fictional boss? Yeah. So I'm definitely picking a video game boss.

Now, this might be too young of a reference for you guys, but have you guys played the Pokemon series at all? I'm 22. Same. I don't believe in age, but I'm 40. All right, so in Pokemon Gold and Silver, which was the sequel in the franchise, at the very end, you climb a mountain,

and at the very top, the final boss in the game there is Red, who was the character that you played in the original pokemon game the original pokemon so you're basically battling ash ketchum or like yourself from an older game but it's seriously so hard you battle like you battle the iconic pikachu and pikachu is level 81 which is like the highest level pokemon you see in like four generations of playing the game uh you also fight snorlax, Charizard, Blastoise, just all these like iconic Pokemon. I know those ones.

Yeah. I know them from my nephew. The boss, because it's like a playable character, he doesn't say a single word to you the entire time. And after you defeat him, he just vanishes into thin air and the credits start rolling. Whoa.

Wow. So that's my pick. Trainer Red from Pokemon Gold and Silver. Trainer Red. Excellent. and Silver Trainer Red excellent good pick great pick and to recap Marissa took Trainer Red

Matt you went first you took Sam Malone the Alien Queen Michael Scott McMillan from Big and Megatron David you went second you took Buck Strickland

Ronald Wayne Selina Meyer Ava Coleman and Pinky from Next Friday Sean joined you in third you took Polly Cicero, Bill Lundberg, Dr. Miranda Bailey, Frylock

and Ari Gold. I went last. I took Hank Scorpio, Miranda Priestley, Goro, Santa Claus and Jay Peterman. You're like, I gotta go clock in. That's incredible. Incredible. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at

All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. all fantasy podcast at gmail dot com shout out to everyone on the all fantasy everything patreon thank you for being an amazing boss to us shout out to everyone the afc slackity shout out to super producer marissa come to our live shows headgum.com slash live for all the ticket links yeah come find the dates swing by the headgum studios to see marissa's face on Sunset Boulevard. Yeah, all of our faces. All of our faces. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.

Shout out to the AFE subreddit. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Doug, dude. Shout out to Doug. Where the hell are you on, man? We need negative role models, too. And more important than all that,

tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Chicago Kitty! that was a hate gun podcast