All Fantasy Everything - Fictional Detectives (w/ Alice Wetterlund, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: May 31, 2018

There's a podcast afoot. A real whodrafit. The Good Vibe Gang is joined by comedian, actor, comfortable shoe icon Alice Wetterlund to draft a dream team of Fictional Detectives. Thank you to hims for sponsoring this episode of All Fantasy Everything. Get a trial month of hims for just $5 today right now while supplies last. Go to forhims.com/allfantasy5.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that's getting over a head cold, but feels like it's going to be alright. Feels like it's going to be alright for this recording, and also the next couple. And even though it's been coughing pretty steady, you know today so much but the previous 72 hours and it would cough and the particles would spray out into the air and catch the light

in a certain way that the dancing mucus and spittle molecules would begin to take shapes and resemble everything that has ever existed in the world like a Stevie Wonder video

like a Stevie Wonder video yeah and we would look at it and we'd say why don't we fantasy draft some of that stuff? Fantasy draft that. Back on the horse. Makes perfect sense. Back on the horse.

It is. Yeah. Even though you're sick with that cough. I don't even know if I'm sick anymore. Did I hurt in your sleep last night? Did you? Yeah. I was coughing in my sleep.

I was standing in your room, like I normally do, right around one in the morning. I asked Sean to come into my room. I can't sleep unless somebody's watching. Yeah. Yeah. Right? I was doing that. What's it called where you smoke weed indoors?

The what? Hot boxing? No, the challenge. Shit. What? It's these kids are smoking weed in Walmart. Make friends. Wait.

Oh, is that some shit? It's called like that. Why don't you sound more like a narc? I know. Well, these kids are smoking the devil's. What's that when you have the ganja with your buddies? Yeah. You know when the kids are reeking of sleep? Oh, the loud challenge. That's what it you have the ganja with your buddies? Yeah. You know when the kids are reefing a spleef?

Oh, the loud challenge. That's what it's called where you go inside and smoke weed inside somewhere. Oh, shit. Is that that video where you see these people

like chief and real big and then it pulls out and they're like a seer? So long story short, I was doing the loud challenge in your room at about one in the morning last night,

panned out, and you coughed in your sleep. Word. But you did hear me coughing in my sleep? I'm glad we got there. Yeah. Yeah. That was a long walk. A long walk I took you on and it wasn't really that. But you did hear me coughing in my sleep? I'm glad we got there. Yeah. That was a long walk.

A long walk I took, Yonan. It wasn't really that nice of a garden. Long trip in an Eddie Bauer van. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel and the 94 Arrow star Eddie Bauer van. As a native of Oregon, I'm very accustomed to long journeys that are well worth it.

Sure. The Oregon Trail. The Oregon Trail. Sure, sure, sure. Other examples. 1977 Portland Trailblazers. The Oregon hike. The Oregon Trail. Sure, sure, sure. Other examples. 1977 Portland Trailblazers. The Oregon Hike. The Oregon Hike.

Sure. That's a good one. The Pacific Crest Trail. Belmont Avenue. Belmont Avenue. That's a reference. Can we get one more? Walk into that food truck park from your Airbnb.

There's another one. That's a good thing, too. Marissa, Portland reference. Marty. Marty Michael. She said all the strip clubs. Marissa, Portland reference. Marty Michael. She said all the strip clubs. A gentleman from Portland. Marty.

Marty. Marty. Oh, that's true. Yeah. What, the strip club's part or the Marty part? The Marty part. Marty. So, I'm Alice.

Alice Wetterland. Did I introduce myself? No, I was going to do it, but I love it. I love the initiative. Alice Wetterland in the studio with us. You. At Alice Wetterlund on Twitter. And I'm on Twitter as well.

Yeah. That's W-E-T-T-E-R-L-U-N-D. You motherfuckers. Yeah. And that's the whole at. That's the whole at. That's the handle. Alice Wetterlund, you motherfuckers.

You got a special one from Twitter that's longer than everyone else's. This is all still the handle. Is it Alice Wetterlund on Instagram as well? At twitter.edu. The special educational Twitter. Yeah, yeah. It's Alice Wetterlund on Instagram. It's Alice Wetterlund in my life on my driver's license.

Yeah. At Starbucks. At Starbucks. Alice Wetterlund on the cup. Alex. Alex. Sometimes. Alex Wetterlund. I'll go for an Alex if I'mlin on the couch. Alex. Sometimes. Alex Wetterlin.

I'll go for an Alex if I'm getting a flat white. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You got to switch it up on them. I don't do that ever. I don't ever change my name when I'm getting like what's, you know, name for the reservation or anything. Oh, you got to.

You should give it a shot. Yeah, I do it at fast food restaurants all the time. What are you? Nothing crazy. Just like Jacob or like Malachi. Yeah. Oh, Malachi. Malachi's getting crazy. Yeah, that's nothing crazy. Sean, I want to see you try to get away with like Jacob or Malachi. Yeah. Oh, Malachi. Malachi's getting crazy.

Yeah, that's nothing crazy. Sean, I want to see you try to get away with Orlando. Normal names like Morlock and Dr. Jebediah. Mortimer, Sherlock. I could do Sherlock. Thrang. Ebenezer.

Ebenezer. That you go in the Starbucks and you're like, and they're like, what's the name on that drink? And you go, Mickey Blue Eyes. Mickey Blue Eyes. And they're like, what? And you're like, I said Mickey Blue Eyes. And you act. They're like, what? And you're like, I said Mickey Blue Eyes. And you act like they're weird

for thinking something's weird. You look up from your phone, what do you mean what? Of the Virginia Blue Eyes. Mickey Blue Eyes. We're just gonna put Mickey. What if there's another Mickey in here? Is that a, who's that? Hugh Grant?

He plays a gangster, right? Is that what he does in that movie I think he does cutie face I said my name was cutie face cutie face cutie face okay so that's a

Q cutie face no cutie face why is this can I get my drink sorry yeah absolutely and then you give it back

this isn't what cutie face ordered my friend Klein used to say warlord all the time was his at Taco John's he'd say warlord

he put warlord in warlord your order's ready too soon yeah warlord all the time. Was his, at Taco John's, he'd say warlord. He put warlord in. Warlord, your order's ready. It's fun. Too soon. Yeah, warlord. It's very fun every time. Running a rough shot.

I used to work at a call center. I'd say my name was Gunther from time to time. I like that. I feel like a Gunther could help me more than a Sean could. Sean's already doing too much. Gunther knows what I need. Sean, why don't you go ahead and put me back on the line with Gunther. Gunther's going to chop your tree down for me. Sean knows what I need. Gunther knows what I want. There it is. You know what I need. Sean, why don't you go ahead and move me back on the line with Gunther. Gunther's going to chop your tree down for me.

Sean knows what I need. Gunther knows what I want. There it is. You know what I mean? Sean shows you the bison. Gunther kills the bison. Oh, yeah. I need a killer on my team. Gunther will get you there.

I'm going to be like, my name is Sword. Like with that kind of voice. What's the name of the drink? Sword. S-X-U-A-R-D. Yeah, like a fencing sword, like what you use to slay your demons.

Sword is my name. Alice, anything coming up that you would like to- Promote up top? Promote, send people to? Oh my God. They can watch you on a television or in person? They can watch me on a television. I'm going to be,

let's see, well, my podcast is ongoing. I have a podcast on the Forever Dog Network. No offense, HeadGum. What is the name

of the podcast? It's called Treks and the City. Okay. You gotta find it. It's great. It's about Star Trek. It's me and Veronica Osorio.

Two ladies jazzing it up. Yes. Talking about our lives and Star Trek. Okay. And I also will be in Toronto at the Campground Music, what is it called? Toronto?

I don't know, Marissa, what's it called? Come on, guys. What's it called? It's the Field Trip Music Festival on June 2nd. Oh, yeah, Field Trip. Hell yeah. I'll be there performing my signature blend of talkies and laughies. Sure, the comedic stylings. First the talkies, then the laughies. Me? What's of talkies and laughies. Sure,

comedic stylings. First the talkies, then the laughies. Me? What talkies? You know, I mean, the talkies are pretty short.

I've seen it. I don't want to have too long of a talkie before the laughies. A lot of laughies. You got the laughies taken out of my cousin. I got a laughie, you know,

a certain amount of laughies per second. It is a startling blend of talkie and laughing. Yeah. Having seen it in person. It is. You will pass out

and come to laughing. Sean might hear you laughing from the other room seen it in person. It is. You will pass out and come to laughing. Sean might hear you laughing from the other room even though he thinks you're asleep. Emphasis on the come to. You're going to have an orgasm. Ah, you'll come.

Oh, you'll come. Best kind of show. You'll come. Best kind of show. Best kind of show. We're supposed to put in the air horns? The air horn.

All right. Thank you very much. Scream, scream. A really long amount of time between when you request a sound effect and when it happens is really funny. In 45 minutes. Like right now.

Tornado siren to end it. Like a Lil Wayne video. Oy vey. Oy vey indeed. A little bit of Yiddish. Get cocky and laugh in the arm. Sean Jordan in the studio. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter.

Yes. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram laugh in the arm. Sean Jordan in the studio. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Yes. Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Instagram. Nailed it. Number one in your heart. Number one in your playbooks. Sean, what do you got coming up? Where can people come see Chantel Jordan? Tonight.

Oh, I want to. I will be in Bloomington, Indiana. Oh, snap. Comedy Attic. No, at the festival. Oh, the Comedy Attic Festival. Yeah, there's a festival. The Limestone. Limestone Comedy Festival. Oh, the Comedy Attic Festival. The Limestone.

Limestone Comedy Festival. Oh, it's so good. I'm excited. It's like since Bridgetown's not happening this year, it's kind of like the fun thing to go do. I have to do Limestone. I know. I've never done Limestone. I haven't either. I've done the Attic, which is fun. I've heard good stuff. The Attic was amazing. It was...

Shit. Yeah. You were dropping every ball. And can we just tighten this up in post? No, don't tighten it shit. Yeah. Forget it. You are dropping every ball. And can we just tighten this up in post? Yeah, please. No, don't tighten it up. I need to know what I did. I need people tweeting like, hey, you fucking asshole.

Have the informed air horn. Lori Kilmartin. Oh, Lori Kilmartin. She's going to be there, but I saw her at UCB the other night, and I go, hey, we're doing Limestone together. And she goes, I'm doing the Comedy Attic. I don't know what this Limestone. And I was like, oh.

That's how they snag one of their headliners is just book them as a headliner. Oh, so she doesn't know it's the festival? Oh, she has no idea. Well, because we're doing, because I'm doing a show at Comedy Attic. And I just thought it was part of the deal. But I don't think she's just headlining with whoever's open. She's been skylocked. Yeah.

Yeah. They're pulling some wool over there in Bloomington. I love that. So we can listen to the Jackie and Lori show, shout out, and then find out after the fact. She's like, I guess I was in a festival. It'll be really fun. That will be fun.

So listen to Treks in the City. Listen to the Jackie and Lori show, but only after you've listened to every episode of All Fantasy Everything. And then you'll watch Perfect Picture. And then everything on the HeadGum Network. Ooh, yeah. You gotta get everything on there. You gotta get everything on there. And then take your ass down to the. Ooh, yeah. And then. You gotta get everything on the HeadGum Network. You gotta get everything on the HeadGum Network.

And then take your ass down to the Comedy Attic when this comes out tonight, because I'll be down there. Yes. I'm gonna do my talkies. You're gonna do your talkies? Probably not as much laughies, but. Oh, really? You're like a storyteller.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He bangs a staff against the ground every 35 seconds. I really like to get a point across. Get a rain stick going. She's got a rain stick. Uh-huh. She's got some little poisoned art frog. You shall not laugh!

Oh! See? Nice. You were wondering where it was going. And that isn't funny, so it's perfect. See? We need a little more of that on this show, dude. Hey, Alice, have you ever run through, if you get all through the Star Trek, are you

ever going to do Shreks in the city? Probably. Nice. I mean, I'll be 45. Yeah, 45 years old. Yeah. We'll have kids at that point. I would like to come on as a guest on Shreks in the City? Probably. Nice. I mean, I'll be 45. Yeah, 45 years old. Yeah. We'll have kids at that point. I would like to come on as a guest on Shreks in the City.

Okay, perfect. I'll come on on Flex in the City, the Working Out podcast. That's amazing. Perfect. Dave, do you want to come on any of the anything? I'm going to come on Hex in the City because I'm a good witch. Oh, there you go. It's a good witch podcast.

I'm a good witch. I'm actually going to wait until Bella Flex in the City. See if I can't. Well, that'll be a while after Pex in the city. Ooh, Pex in the city. I'm a beef guy, so I'm going to go on Wex in the city. Oh, like a buffalo, like a beef on Wex. Like beef.

You should come see us. We're going to be at South by doing Tex-Mex in the city. Oh, Tex-Mex in the city. And it is delicious. Yeah, they'll do that a lot down there. They'll do that a lot down there. They'll do that a lot down there. After that, I'm going to talk about anti-Semitism on the internet and go on Kecks in the city.

I just got a new sponsorship, so look for me in that brand new 2017 Lex in the city. Oh, pushing that one. I'm pushing one. I'm pushing one. That's a champagne-colored Lex if I'm not mistaken. Oh, that's the only color I know how to drive. Fun fact, David Borey, can't drive a red vehicle.

Officer, is it a DUI if the car's champagne? Yeah. Yeah. I was just living my rest. Sir, you're very clearly drunk. Sir, put a shirt on. That's David Borey on the mic.

The G is silent on Twitter. Yeah. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram.. The G is silent on Twitter. Yeah. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Yes, sir. Anything to promote or declare? Nothing right now, but the tour is getting planned. I locked down some more dates. Nice.

So, D.C., I'm there. I'm going to be in Ohio. Yes. I'm going to be in Arkansas for the four of you. Yes. Those are all over the place. Well, God damn, we're so excited to have you, David. We can't even wait.

They left me in Arkansas, though. Shout out to Rogers. I'll be back. I'm going to sleep in the car probably. I know you are. I watch you every second. Your car better be driving out of Arkansas, too. I hope you can drive and sleep at the same time.

Little Rock or what? Yeah. Are you going to get to the bottom of this whole whitewater thing with the Clintons? It's about time. It's about time. Please do. I was trying to get to the bottom of some fried green tomatoes. There it is.

I know about Arkansas. That's true. But yeah. I don't know about that scandal. It's one of them. I don't know either. I just know the name. I think it was real estate. I don't know, man. It's one of them I don't know either I just know the name I think it was real estate

I don't know man Yeah it's really stupid Yeah Who else was from Arkansas? Mary Steenburgen Really? Yeah Sure

Arkansan You know tell me something I don't know Oh big fan of Steen Steen had a real Steen stand Oh yeah If anybody else was I'm a Steen pump I like to get Steen cleaned

Steen pumped Once a week I Steen clean my brain I like to get steam cleaned. Steam pumped. Once a week, I steam clean my brain. I'll have enough time for all of you. I can't. I'm going to do it. I'm going to figure it out

and come back with you. Ha! Ha! Ha! Hit me! Hit me! I'm Ian Carmel. Listen to All Fantasy Everything.

Sure. I'm in London right now. Hello! Oh, you're listening to this. It's in London, isn't it. While you're listening to this. Hello. Hello. Hello. You know what I like when they say

stuff is proper. That's a proper fit there, isn't it? It's just proper fit. I like calling shoes trainers. During the day I'm going to be filming stuff at the Late Late Show. At night it's going to be me and a bunch of chavs giving people the business. Oh man, I know about chavs now. Yeah. What are chavs?

Chavs are like... It's just poor people. It's us. If we were from England, we'd be chavs. We'd be chavs. Hard chavs. We're chavin' deep, bro. I know. A bunch of chavs going to like Burger King or something like that. Yeah, we love Burger King. We live on the estate. I don't know why I'm saying we track.

We go down to Burger King, bruv. Go Burger King. Yeah. I'm a top boy. I'm a top boy. God save the Burger King, you know. It's right. It's right.

I see how you're cool. Bloke walking down, bruv, with new trainers on, bruv. Go Jack and bruv. Yeah. We listen to Oasis, innit? Am I not doing it right? Do I sound like a Wisconsin London guy? You sound like you're someone who was raised in East London, but surfed.

I was, by a pack of wolves. By a pack of wolves, but also who the wolves might have been from, like San Jose. The wolves called me bruv. San Jose Wolves is my favorite female soccer team, by the way. Shout out. My mates call me bro. Yeah. My mates.

Yeah, my mates call me bro. I've liked some of your trainers, bro. How much? How much? I wonder if like English people, because I find that on podcasts, like half of what podcasts are is making fun of British accents. It's making fun of the British accent. Yeah. Or Australian.

And I wonder if like Aussie or like English listeners are ever like, here we go. They, for sure, the Brits, we do have a bunch of British listeners, and they'll all be upset. But do you ever meet, like, a British guy when they're here, and they're like, hey, I'm an American! And you're like, that's not how we talk! No, they're pretty good at it sometimes.

There's, like, a little inflection. James Corden cannot do an American accent, which is the funniest. Really? Tell him to talk like Axelrod. Do this with his mouth up and down. Hey, there's one thing you have to understand about me. Real heavy with the nose. And then breathing really hard with the nose. Ask him to do that tomorrow.

He'll know. James, talk like this. Do it on your nose. See if you can do an American accent. Okay, I will. He's going to be in New York, but I'll call him. Call him. FaceTime him.

I want proof. Yeah, I'll call. I don't have anything else to promote. oh i'm gonna be oh i'm gonna be doing the well i don't even know if i can say that yet i'm gonna be in i'm gonna be in minnesota at some point in october oh nice yeah oh well yeah i don't i don't know if i can say it yet but yeah i'll be there and so will a podcast i don't know which one is it this one we'll see we'll see weird yeah isn't I don't know which one is it this one? we'll see we'll see weird

yeah isn't that weird? you know the weird thing about Minneapolis my favorite city in the world I've been on record I heard that with my baddie

I'm from there yeah Alice is from there it is the best I grew up in Minneapolis yeah I absolutely love it there as you can hear

from my very thick Minnesota accent did you try your whole life to not have that accent? I never had it, really. I didn't either, but I get it when I Okay. Do you get it now when you go back? When I talk to people, when I go home and I like

if I talk to people from home, I kind of just naturally slip into it because it's easier for them to understand me. If I'm more like, yeah, okay. But like, it doesn't, it's weird because like when I was a little child, like when you're you know not big

but you're smaller little child I would watch TV and like I noticed that on television fools did not talk like the people in my family

I was like huh there's like a real difference like a marked change like I'll go to you know I'm like

oh do you want somewhere hot dash and like and then I'd like look on TV and Big know I'm like oh do you want some more hot dash and like I'd be like and then I'd like look on TV and Big Bird would be like sometimes I eat normal you know it just was like

oh that's not nobody says that about you on TV fucking hot dish that kills me what's hot dish it's like a casserole or like

you when you said casserole your accent came out a little bit god damn it casserole tensions are rising so they have two things. Everything in Minnesota is in a baking dash, like a shallow baking dash.

And so instead of casserole, it's going to be a hot dash, which isn't a dash. Or instead of a cake or a pie, it's going to be bars. And those bars are in the same Pyrex. So you use the same Pyrex container for both. You're right. Yeah. Bars. You're right.

Get goulash. It's kind of big over there, too. Goulash? Yeah. Very different use of Pyrex. Pyrex. Yeah. In Minneapolis that I'm used to.

In Beaverton, we're cooking a crack with it. I actually have a podcast about it called, I actually have a podcast, Pyrex in the City. Pyrex? Yeah! Yay! We're not even going to get to the draft. That's the draft, ladies and gentlemen. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Jesus. I was at a Dodgers game, and this guy, the Dodgers are on a terrible losing streak. And I was like, where? They really are. I was at a game, and this guy was so amazing. They had, like, the Diamondbacks had their, like, fifth home run of the game. And they're so good this year, yeah.

And they were just slamming us and they just got another home run and this guy from the stadiums, absolutely 100% without irony goes, fuck you! That's what he yelled at the Diamondbacks. It's so amazing. That's the best.

Sometimes you can feel somebody's heart. That heartfelt shit. So mad. Yeah, that's a bummer. That's a bummer. I think the Diamondbacks' best player might be Jewish. Let me look into this. No, damn it.

Sorry. He has Jewish ancestry, but he became an evangelical Christian. You piece of shit. Jack Peterson. He's a J. Yeah, he is a J. And he's going to, Boss Baby's going to have an employee. Wait, what?

Say what? He's having a baby. Ooh. Oh, wait. Do people call him Boss Baby? Yeah, my is a J. And he's gonna, Boss Baby's gonna have an employee. Wait, what? Say what? He's having a baby. Ooh. Oh, wait, do people call him Boss Baby? Yeah, my boyfriend does. Because he looks like Boss Baby? Yeah. That's funny.

Oh, I just thought that was a cool way to say somebody was gonna have a kid. Yeah. Have another kid. I think it is. I'll use it. I'll spread it. Thank you so much.

Influencers. I like to. Cultural influencers. Influencers. Verified. Verified. No, no, no, no. Oh. We're. Verified. Verified. No, no, no. We're trying.

Come on, Twitter. Definitely not verified over here. It's crazy that you guys aren't verified yet. This end of the room, not verified. I put in, I tried to set some balls in motion. Listen, we'll talk about it off there. What are we drafting? I got a necklace of blue check marks.

I went down to Twitter. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Everybody talks about it. I throw them around. I lend them out over the weekend. Take one, take one. I'm verified on Airbnb. Yeah, you do. Everybody talks about it. I throw them around. Ian's verified on LinkedIn. I'm verified on Airbnb. Yeah, dude.

Cross-platform. I'm verified on Google, man. That sounds fun. When I go to Google, both the O's are blue check marks. I'm not 100%, but I think I put in the time. I should be verified on Grubhub by now. Yeah, absolutely. I should be a shareholder

in Postmates. Yeah. I'm at the point where I've gotten the same people three times and shit like that. And it's never food you're proud to be getting.

No. When I get sushi, I'm like, I'll come outside of the house and be, hello, sir. Thank you for my sushi. Just yelling at them,

thanks for the sushi, bro. Yeah, it's for somebody else I'm gonna eat all this But then when it's Burger King I just like Open the door Like a crack Like who dis

Smoke comes out With Postmates Like they make you come outside And they're like Not even trying to come to the door Some It goes 50 for 50 For me they're always like

I'm outside What That is Really That's bullshit Every time And it's always like a hot guy So I'm always like, I'm outside. What? Really? That's bullshit. That's bullshit. Every time. And it's always like a hot guy.

So I'm always like, okay. And then I walk outside and they're like, who's your friend? And I'm like, whatever. It's cool. I barely eat. My name is Sword. I can't imagine him outside. That's crazy. Yeah, my name is Sword.

This is for my cool dog. Just stand right here. Sword, your shit's out here. Thanks. Come grab your grub. Thanks, Tyler. If I leave my front door open, they will walk into my home and put the food in front of me sometimes.

Get it out. And feed me Panda Express. They'll come get you out of bed. They will. Alright, Ian. Oh, thanks. Acai bouquet. What are we drafting today? Well, we are not gathered here to talk about how Paul Goldschmidt turned his back on his people and became an evangelical Christian. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I don't think there's anything right with it either. No, there's nothing right with it. We are instead gathered here today to fantasy draft fictional detectives. Woo! Uh-huh. Yeah. That's fun. I didn't know how deep a topic this was.

I thought I didn't know any detectives. Then I started diving in and, ooh, I couldn't find bottom. Yeah. Yeah.. I thought I didn't know any detective. Then I started diving in and I couldn't find bottom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll get into it. You don't want to go to the wiki page. That's going to set you back a few hours.

It was the. I did. I went to all. I went to like. I was so stoked on all of this stuff. I was just like. It was fun. I used verified Google and it brought me everything I needed.

You postmated your list? I postmated my list. David and I were licking the floor at Burger King while coming up with our answers. Absolutely, yeah. Like the chavs? What is it? Chavs? Chavs.

Like the chavs that we are. Chavs you are. God damn it, bro. We're verified at Burger King so we can order food and they just hand it to us. I'm also verified in these streets. We determine the order of the draft with a game of a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you. Now we throw on shoot.

So it's one, two, three, shoot. One, two, three, shoot. One, two, three, shoot. David wins. Ah, David wins. Piece of shit. David wins. David wins.

Piece of shit. David, it is up to you to determine the order of the draft. But before you do that, I will remind you that it is a serpentine draft. And what does that mean? What does that mean? Excellent question. Excellent question, Alice, as well. I still ask it.

Well, it's like if you were to go to Subway and you got a foot long and you said put a lot of mayo on there. Say what? So they kind of take the squeezer thing and they just kind of start at the top and just go back and forth all the way down. Like a big S. So it's a squiggly line? Yeah. Why did we have to go to Subway? You could just put mayo on the ground like David and I do

and lick it up because we're chaps. Could be Jersey Mike's. Could be Jersey Michael's. Could be. I like the way a snake goes. It doesn't need to be a sandwich. Like the sandwich

didn't need to be there. It could be the mayonnaise. You could put the mayonnaise on your forearm. It could just be how a snake slithers just on the ground. Basically, if you pick

fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Just trying to church it up a little bit, you know, polish the turd. David, we are gathering here today. So a serpent is a turd. Serpent turd.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, now we're all... Turd serpent. Hanging on all cylinders. Same pitch, same pitch. Turd serpent. Turd serpent.

Sometimes when I have a turd serpent, I sit on the toilet. Did you guys go see fucking turd serpent last week at the fucking... At Bonham's Alley? Turd serpent. Fucking shreds, dude. But I actually saw Turd Serpent two years ago. That's the name of the workout program they put me on at Yolk. I saw fucking Turd Serpent at Gilman Hall, dude. It was like fucking so...

They were honestly, the drummer was so ripped. Yeah, I saw Turd Serpent back when they had that dead bass player. Dude, they just used to have a bass player Who was a dead guy In a knight's costume Dude he was just Never even saw him bro It was amazing

Never even saw him They'd like wheel him out there dude But he'd lay down like some Thick bass lines He's got You can feel that shit He could rip bro Yeah

Bro Dude their bass line Dislocated my pelvis I could drop out of the club dude I have rickets from that Sweet dude yeah I have definite rickets. It should have gave me and then cured my gout.

Dave, we are gathered here in beautiful downtown Los Angeles in the HeadGum Studios. Beautiful. Stone's throw from the row. To do this draft. What is the order of the draft going to be? I'm going to go the classic C. Okay. I've been going first.

I feel like it's been working for me. So I'm going to go the classic C. Okay. I've been going first. I feel like it's been working for me. So I'm going to go David, Alice, Ian, Sean. Vibrating. I'm happy with that. With the first pick in the fictional detectives all fantasy everything draft, David Boy. Funny how I'm always

last when David. Yeah, funny. Or maybe I'm going at your neck, boy. Stand up. Beef is not what Jay said to Nas. It's so sad when there's discontentment among the unverified. Chavs like to fight each other.

Go you fucking chav. I don't like it when you say it. I don't like anything when I say it. It doesn't feel like camaraderie when you say it. Unless it's him bringing a bottle of Jameson over. You don't like it when you say it. You don't like anything when I say it. Yeah, it doesn't feel like camaraderie when you say it. Unless it's, hey, I'm bringing a bottle of Jameson over. You don't like it. I love it. All right.

My first one. So I'm going to go with the only detective that I thought might get picked, because the rest of mine are wild picks. Go on. But this first one I thought is the only one that might get picked. I'm taking Temperance Brennan. Oh, hell yeah. Better known as the name Bones.

Bones, baby. I used to watch the shit out of Bones, dog. Oh, my God. I was working at the call center. All I did was make money, watch Bones, and watch the motherfucking Nuggets and smoke weed. That was that whole seven months of my life. That's a good seven months. Yeah, Western Conference Finals.

I still think we were robbed. Yeah. But back to Bones. Yeah. Love that show. A lot of people think Booth is Bones. No. They think the dude is Bones. No. Bones is Temperance. Emily Deschanel. Zooey Deschanel's older, more sensible sister. Yes. I have never seen Bones. I haven't either. Never seen an episode.

Really? It's not a one. It's what used to always be after basketball. It's such a good seven. Oh. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's not like a great be after basketball. It's such a good seven. You know what I'm saying? It's not like a great show, but it's a solid. It is a thick and wide seven. Yeah, and to watch it every week is fun. There's a good will there, won't there?

And now you can so, so completely binge that shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Go back. Is there a through line on Bones? Do you need to watch them all? No, Bones is the through line. Or can you just kind of pick up? It's procedural. Yeah, yeah, go back. Is there a through line on Bones? Do you need to watch them all? No, Bones is the through line. It's procedural.

Yeah, yeah. Bones is the through line. Also Booth. Bones and Booth are the only thing that are there. Well, we're asking, are there multi-episode story arcs? Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

But each episode can be enjoyed on its own. But it's not crazy. It's like House, you know what I mean, where you can still watch House. It's like how spaghetti's good with tomato sauce, but also you can just sit there and eat a whole bowl of tomato sauce. You can. You can. Why do they call her Bones?

Great question. I think just because that's what she looks at. She's like a forensics person. She's a skeleton. She's pretty skinny. She's a crime fighting skeleton. It's difficult for her. She's got a real dysmorphia issue. She has low skinny. She's a crime-fighting skeleton. It's difficult for her. Yeah. She's got a real dysmorphia issue.

She has low iron. Okay. And she's a good detective. Why did you pick her for your team? I just used to watch that show all the time. I loved it. It was like, there's not a lot of shows, especially back before we had demand. There's not a lot of stuff that I watched that wasn't sports that was like I watched every single

week. And that was just a time in my life where I was just like going to work. Not much was going on. I had my shows every week. I had the Nuggets and I had Bones and the Nuggets. And you had David Boreanz and Emily Deschanel. But now you just have Bones. You don't have David Boreanz. I'm just

kind of focusing on the... No, no, no. You're 100% right. He just has Bones. So that's gonna be... Okay. Because at the end, there's a mystery we all have to solve with our team. Yes. Oh! We're getting to the bottom of it. I think, right? I'll take that. If Bones is on my mystery solving team, you need somebody who can handle... Because if it's a real

mystery, there's gonna be dead bodies. Here's what we know about Temperance Bones Brennan. She's a PhD, an anthropologist, a forensic anthropologist, and a kinesiologist, which as we all know is physiological, biomechanical, and psychological dynamic principles and mechanisms of movement to study thereof. See, that is useful. I don't have anybody like that on my squad.

That's what I'm saying. She can do it all. Bones. She's like, she's kind of not nice, but that's what you need. She's not nice. She just gets annoyed with Booth's high-flying antics. She's like, science can solve this cake. Shut up about your heart, dummy. And that's what we need, because I'm going to be going in with my heart.

I need a brain. She's sort of a scully. Oh, she's definitely a scully. She went to a brain. That's good. Yeah, you do. She's sort of a Scully. I need someone to spearhead it for me. Oh, she's definitely a Scully. She went to Northwestern. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Finding out a lot about bones right now. Roll Tide.

Yeah. Roll Tide. Roll Tide. I say that for any college someone went to. Yeah, that's so good. Oh, you went to Brown? Roll Tide. Roll Tide.

Roll damn Tide. War damn Eagle. War damn Eagle. War damn Eagle. Roll damn Tide. She loves dolphins. Yep. That's eagle. War damn eagle. War damn eagle. Roll damn tide. She loves dolphins. Yep. That's weird.

That's true. She's afraid of snakes. Of course. I was hearing. Too many bones. And she believes in the death penalty. This girl was talking about this moment she had with her. She wasn't my friend, but I overheard it at a brunch.

This girl was like, I had the most magical day the other day. I was at the, for Mother's Day, we went to the beach. And there was just, I had the most magical day the other day. I was at the, like for Mother's Day we went to the beach and there was just like, we had five different dolphin sightings. Like dolphins here and then there was

another group of dolphins and they weren't families. They like all were like separate dolphin sightings and at a certain point I was like, that's not a good amount

of dolphins. Like that's actually a bad thing if there's that many dolphins towards the shore. There's like something fucked up going on. Yeah, what's going on out there? It's probably the volcano or something like that. Cloverfield? It could be Cloverfield. Actually, it's a bad thing. If there's that many dolphins towards the shore, there's like something fucked up going on. Yeah, what's going on out there?

It's probably the volcano or something like that. Actually, it's a bad thing. You shouldn't have that many dolphins. That many dolphins shouldn't be that... Yeah. The ocean was so pretty. They're not here to bless your family. It was just a pretty red tint on the ocean

and all these dolphins sort of inland. It was just so... It matched the sunset. Couldn't even tell there was a sunset because it was just... There was a Greenpeace boat hauling ass. We were blessed in the presence of a Greenpeace boat just hauling ass. That's the Greenpeace that time.

All right. Just hauling war, just roll-tied all the way out. Yes, war eagle through it, you know? I saw some dolphins last time I was in Hawaii. That's right. I've been to Hawaii. Alice, it is time for your first pick. Too soon.

That's as far as that went. That's right. I travel. My passport's got some stamps on it. Last time I swam to Hawaii. That's right. I made them stamp it in Hawaii. I was like, stamp it.

Stamp my passport. No, you've got to get a stamp every time you leave the mainland. Yeah, absolutely. I've got a stamp in Alaska. If I fly over water, you best believe I'm getting a fucking stamp if I have to put it there on my goddamn self. If I go from one side of Michigan to the other, I'm getting a stamp. Yeah.

All right, so I'm choosing a random YouTube video to help me introduce. You said you had information about an attack by Abu Nazir. I have information. Prove it. Because unless you do, I won't protect your family. I don't know why I picked that one. It's not really exemplary of what I'm talking about. My first pick is Carrie Matheson. Now, this is the one I put at the top because I did think somebody else would choose this person

because Carrie Matheson is probably one of the— she's not technically a detective, but she does get the job done in more ways than one. And I think she would be like the ultimate get if you were just trying to get to the bottom of something. Carrie Matheson, she's like a crazy, fucked up like Leatherman tool. Yeah, I think that's count.

I think that's count as a detective. Claire Nance this character from Homeland for the listeners at home if you haven't blessed yourself with Homeland. So Carrie is, the other thing about Carrie is that she, not only is she like, has extreme instinct for like finding out clues

and she's really good at reading people. She's also really good at deceiving people and she can kick ass because she's in the CIA. I feel like it's good to have somebody at least have one person on your squad who can for sure like knows Krav Maga and can haul ass. And you need somebody who can deceive people. Sometimes you gotta

do a little wrong and do a little right. And she will fuck. Wait, what? She will fuck. Oh, she fucks. Oh, sexually. She fucks a lot. Like she will fuck whatever. I mean, how do you get you gotta get it all out. Yeah, there's nothing. She can't be holding on to sexually. She fucks a lot. Like, she will fuck whatever. I mean, how do you get, you gotta get it all out. Yeah, there's nothing. Can't be holding on to that. She's like a dog on a, like, with one of those pit bulls with the thing.

Yeah. What's that analogy where a dog won't let go outside? Oh, a dog on a leash. Oh, like a dog with a tire. Like a pit bull with a tire in a yard. I've been trying to think of this analogy for days, but it could be like a dog with like a thing the dog really wants to know. I know there was a dog in my neighborhood.

Once a pit bull locks its jaws, it doesn't let go until you're dead. No, you've got to kick it in the balls or put a stick behind its teeth. Maybe jam a thumb into its eye. Finger in the butt. No, I'm telling you, guys. Wait, is this real? Okay, here's some real wisdom. That's real.

What is it? What do you do? If a pit bull locks on you, you either got to come up as hard as you can and kick it in the balls, or you take a stick and you put it, you jam it behind its jaws, and then you turn. Really? Yeah, and then it'll like... Finger in the butt and water, or something in the nose works, too. Like, if you pour something in its nose.

I hate that we're the guys who are telling everybody how to avoid a pit bull attack. I know, the chavs know what to do in a pit bull attack. Listen, we're fucking chav brothers, right? This chav section, it's like, one time a corgi was over here and it demanded some food and we didn't know what to do in a pit bull attack. Listen, we're fucking chav brothers. This chav section. It's like, well, one time a corgi was over here and it demanded some food and we didn't know what to do. I saw a pit bull lock onto a dog one time. We haven't drowned in the backyard. That's what, they had to pour like a hose in its nose,

like just straight up into its nose. Oh, your lives are so interesting. So, okay, I want to talk a little bit about this topic for me before we go further. It's a hot topic. So my, not pipples. I think pipples deserve humanity. What? Okay.

Wow, brave. I am so brave today. Someone's got to stand up. Someone's having a brave day. Tomorrow's my birthday. Let me talk. Oh, happy birthday. Thank you.

My name is Sword. So I love detective shows and movies. And like my favorite, it's my favorite genre to watch. I devour every detective. So I'm excited to watch Bones. And I love the detective acting. It's what I love the most of all. Oh, yeah.

I desperately someday want to play a detective on TV or movies. Like that's what I want so badly because I think it's the most interesting type of acting. And you also can get to do the same thing over and over again. But your character has this arc. But you really – I feel like it's just – so I love fucking L.A. Confidential. That's my favorite movie. Sneakers. Have you seen Sneakers?

No. It's amazing. Anyway. We've seen Sneakers. Sean. We can't name anybody. It's amazing. Anyway. We've seen Sneakers. Sean. We can't name anybody else from any of these. We can't start doing this, but I want to say that I notice a lot of the lists I went on online were all men, and it is, and you picked a woman for your first one, so kudos to you,

Doze. Doze is a woman? I was just joking. He just sees her as a bone. He just sees her as a bone. You said it with such sincerity. I just see it. he just sees her as a bone you said it was such sincerity I just see her

as a bone I don't see gender all I see is bones I don't see gender it's a binary system of are you bones or not bones are not bones

bones are boneless yeah I ate the bones and I and I get really like I get a total hard on for like female

detective shows so I started like totally getting into this genre a while back. Anyway, so if anybody has any recommendations of other detective shit

that I can watch tweet them out. They will tweet at us. But we will get we will get there. So I just I don't know why I had to say that weird speech

for no reason. Do you ever I'm just going to say this and I'm not going to get too far into it. Do you fuck with the British ones at all? So yeah, absolutely. Okay, cool. I mean, this and I'm not going to get too far into it. Do you fuck with the British ones at all? So, yeah.

Okay, cool. Absolutely. Okay, cool. I mean, yeah, and it's also fun to discover the way other countries make, whatever. Because, like, they have different legal systems. Yes. You know, it's so cool. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

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All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right Wait, aren't you going? No, I was just pointing out your pick. Okay. I'm not going to take it. Just seeing the airplane right on the radar, you know, just keeping track of it. That's all we're doing over here. Okay, time for my first pick. Shit, I should have been. I might be going a different route than everybody. I'm taking that one. We might be on the same route, my man. Okay.

I'm taking a, I am going with a man with my first pick. I'm going with the same route, my man. Okay. I'm taking a... I am going with a man with my first pick. I'm going with the man with my first pick. I'm going with the Batman with my first pick. Ah, shit. Batman. He's a detective. He's a detective.

He was first on my list. I thought he was a crime fighter. He's a crime... What do you think of... He's a detective. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that's true.

Identified. Yeah. As a detective. It's true, actually. I didn't think anyone was going to go there. He was going to be like my third pick. Nah, dog. You didn't think anyone was going to go there. He was going to be like my third pick. Nah, dog. You didn't think anybody was going to go to Batman?

Where is she? Oh, this is our favorite. Where's Lau? Where is she? Swear to me. I'm not wearing hockey pants. Where is she? Why do you get to be the judge?

I'm not wearing hockey pants. Is that a line? I'm a little light-headed now. That's one of the lines, yeah. Because that guy's got a fucking, he's got hockey pads on. You have more sizes in these pants. Yeah. I could use a little more give in the crotch.

I'm not comfortable with this impression. I don't like a boot cut. It's a wedding, not a funeral. Give me my hirachis. I guess I could get these taken in, but I'd. Give me my hirachis. I guess I could get these taken in, but I'd rather see what else you have in stock. Designer Crocs. This feels more like a Cheeto, and I want something with more bend in the hips.

A traditional peg leg. I'm not wearing shoulder pads. I'm actually spending the summer on the cod, so I was wondering if you had anything that cut at the shin. Stamp my passport. I'm about to say out the gate. I realize cargo shorts aren't in vogue anymore. They're always, I mean, if we're all going to be, let's be serious, they're always in vogue. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. They're never going out of style. They're in vogue, Alan. I'll leave that where you said it. You should need to go to the chav side of town If by invoke you mean you don't let go Oh shit If they're giving me something he can feel

You know what I mean like some nice pants Some nice leg room I didn't think you were going to double down on that Yeah yeah they give me a lot of pantlet Something I can feel down there Batman Alright I find You got a lot Now you got resources Batman. Batman. All right, I find.

Get on that podcast. You got a lot. Now you got resources. Resources. For days. Yeah, you got shit loads of cash. You got. You got a friend in the mayor's office. Big time friend in the mayor's office.

Friend in the police station. You bleed charisma, so that's fun. Yeah. Wait, me or Bruce Wayne? Bruce Wayne. I'll thank you very much. Thank you. Yeah, a lot of money.

Bruce Wayne, I would say. Money power access Thank you. Yeah, a lot of money. Bruce Wayne, I would say, Batman bothers me because he only fucks, this is sort of from my stand-up act, but I never really got it to work. He only is like, he is always fucking with the mentally ill. I feel like there's people who need help out there,

and Batman is there to fuck. What a new asshole. But he won't kill anybody. And it's like, yeah, but like He's like the prison system. Like Bane needs our help. Yeah, it's just like not really like I'm gonna clean up the scum of Gotham. Well, maybe you should help people. Where are their kids? These people are in poverty.

You know, it's like these people who are like mugging people and like just stealing for drug money. It's like you don't need to beat them up the penguin was born of wealth I feel like if he saw Skid Row he'd be like I'm gonna kick all your asses that's inappropriate so Batman's like the guy on Twitter who'd be like

why don't you just try being cheering up just like focus on the good things smile more you're choosing to be bogged down yeah he's just holding Joker out by the throat Smile more. You're choosing to be bogged down. He's just holding Joker out by the throat. What can I do to help? Just holding him over a porch,

Sugar White style. I'm here for you. I may not be a medical professional, but I'm noticing symptoms of bipolar disorder. Absolutely, man. That's what we want out of Batman. That's what we want. I feel like that's the Batman that you'd be. Absolutely, Manny. That's what we want out of Batman. That's what we want. I feel like that's the Batman that you'd be. Sure, thank you.

But I'm not choosing me to be Batman. I gotta take Batman as Batman. Everyone's flawed. What's a good detective if they don't have at least one flaw? And that flaw is they do not care about the mentally ill. And his one question is he doesn't know where Lau is. Where's Lau? He doesn't know.

That's the one case he can't solve, and that's why. He actually ends up finding Lao, so pretty quick, actually. Yeah, he found Lao. He didn't take too long. He went to China to find him. Yeah, so why take Batman, dude, with the Dark Knight? He made his first appearance in Detective Comics. Oh, wow.

You're so knowledgeable. I know, right off the top. Too bad the mic's cut out when you said it. We'll fix it in post. That's the air horn finally dropped. You know, it was in. Marissa was going to put it in there. Yeah, right around 1900.

Yeah, it was Detective Comics. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. Batman, my first pick. Sean Jordan, you have the first and your second picks as it is. A serpentine dragon. Okay. I'm going hard in the paint with my first pick.

I'm going to pick somebody who doesn't care really about the rules. They're going to get things done. Tommy Lee from... Classic detective. Tommy Lee from Motley Crue. We're doing favorite Tommy Lee. There is, right?

There's a Motley Crue. He always slides into Tommy Lee's. You got to get him out. He can put the faces on. He does the job that he needs to do. I'm going to pick Alonzo Harris. Oh, yeah. Better known as Denzel Washington in Rainy Day. How did the job that he needs to do. I'm going to pick Alonzo Harris, better known as

Denzel Washington in Training Day. How did I know that was going to be, like I was thinking about Pixar Day and I was like, Sean is for sure

at some point going to reference Training Day today. Fuck. It's, I mean, it's because I just, it's just on Netflix. I just watched it

a couple nights ago. You always just watch it a couple nights ago. Yeah, man. I stay up late. Your life is an archipelago of having seen Training Day. When I first moved here,

I went to Echo Park and I had somebody point out the Training Day house to me. The one where they shoot Roger. It's up on the hill. I drove up there, stood out there like I was Lonzo. I don't know.

He just feels like he ain't scared to get things handled. King Kong doesn't have shit on him. Damn, Sean, I didn't know you liked to get wet. All the time, dude. I also think it's super okay to pick a character or a detective that's just fun to have around.

Yeah. You know, because when you assemble your team, you don't want a bunch of hard asses that are hard to get along with. Well, but I also don't want a bunch of hims. You want somebody who's going to Ric Flair every now and again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when you do something cool, just be like whoo! Yes!

I want my squad to pull up and they're all debating like who's going in Shit, Alonzo's already halfway in. That's the guy he is. He's already walking in, clapping his guns together, barking, come on out. You want somebody who can pull off a leather trench coat if a situation arises? Yeah.

But also that weird mesh beanie. Yeah. You need to be day and night. Where you're like, no, no, no. And there's no judgment in this question, but is that a Muslim thing? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know where he's coming from. He's wearing a cross chain. Is it? But I don't know. But the hats. Because it's the streets. He's like the kid from Life of Pi. He embraces a lot.

He really does. He's just existing. He's a fucking wild card too. He's a fucking wild card. But also he's straight up a bad guy. So I mean you have to That's the thing. You're shrouded in a good guy. It's not even that

heavy of a shroud. He's got like a linen shroud on so shroud on. He wears it like a loose flowing tee. Yeah, yeah. And then the bad guy is like a thick leather jacket under said tee. The bad guy is poking out. And you're like, oh, you don't really look comfortable right now. You got those backwards. Oh, I'm just wearing a t-shirt.

Nothing to see here. Just a dude at the beach. Just sort of a t-shirt. Nothing to see here. Just a dude at the beach. Just sort of a t-shirt guy. Just a footlocker tall t-shirt. It's a hot day. Everybody's sweating. Perfect day for a leather jacket. You notice how everybody's sweating today?

Leather jacket and a beanie, like you need in L.A. most of the time, you know? You know what I love about Alonzo Harris is this thing that a lot of detectives will do is where they have a car that's not the police car. Yeah, fuck the one. Fuck the black and white. Even though they work for the police, they have this dope-ass car.

And I'm like, ooh, I like this. They always make it seem like they got that car because they're badass. Yeah. Like the guy's like, are we going to go to one of the cruisers? He's like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, that's good. This is Los Angeles. They'll be driving in the car and their new partner will be like, so what's the story with this car?

Why don't you just send them a postcard, tell them we're coming? Yeah! I watch a lot of detective movies and TV shows. It's the kind of car you get just for that line where he's like, thought we were going to the office. Baby, we in the office. Just flips a switch, and then fucking Dre starts playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, we're in the office all day. Ding, ding, dong. It's like a lame Dre song. Ring-a-ding, ding, ding, dong. Ha-ha, what you know about Dr. Dre. Ding, ding, dong. It's like a lame Dre song. Ding, ding, ding, ding, dong. Ha, ha. What you know about Dr. Dre? Ding, ding, dong. And Ethan Hawke's like, I know more about Dr. Dre than you, obviously, because you're playing

Keep Their Heads Ring and when we could be playing like Still Dre. And the horn. Beep, beep, beep. It's like. Hold on. Beep, beep, beep. He just pulls up. Is that a real? His horn does that? Beep, beep, beep, beep. He just pulls up. Is that a real car?

His horn does that? Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. That's what I'm saying. Do you know any other Dr. Dre songs? Just for the record, car people, can you tweet at us and let us know if that's a possibility? Because I got some moves I got to make. That's so conspicuous for an attack. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Alonzo's outside. Shit, it's Alonzo. Oh,ity beep beep beep. Alonzo's outside. Shit, it's Alonzo. Oh, that's... Shit, Alonzo's here. Everybody stop laughing at his horn. It seems like you're less a Dr. Dre fan than more... People just keep their heads ringing. Who said it?

Did you say it? That was the funniest fucking thing maybe on this podcast. The horn. I don't know who just said it. God, that was the best. She just said it. It just happened. If I asked who said it, I didn't hear where it came from. Fuck you I don't know who just said it. Oh, yeah. God, that was the best. She just said it. It just happened. If I asked who said it,

I didn't hear where it came from. Fuck you, Christopher Hitchens. The Red Men. Yeah, yeah. Fuck you, Christopher Hitchens. Yeah. For the following reasons. No.

We have a long-running vendetta. No, for a lot of reasons. Supporting the Iraq War. Mostly they were saying women are a funny thing, but he was a complicated man. I feel like women not being funny enough got us of the Iraq war right.

Yep, yep, yep, yep. White water. That's what my mom says. Black water, white water. They're licked. Gray water. I only fuck with white water. I'm rafts only.

Rafts only over here, baby. This is a raft. David rafted here tonight. It's tough in LA, but you can figure it out. Yeah, you can figure it out. You gotta be willing to take the time. If you keep swiping on the Google Maps, eventually you hit a raft.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like after Uber and taxi, it's like raft. Yeah, it's like, oh shit, the raft. That's only if you guys are verified. One of them is just Tarzan swinging ropes from tree to tree. Shit, actually, if we Tarzan swing, it's only eight minutes. Oh, no, my wrist, man. I can't. Oh, shit. my wrist, man. I can't.

Oh, shit. All right. It's free. I guess it's Metro bike. Gondola with an Italian singer is 14 minutes. Hot air balloon is an hour. This is all Google crap. Hot air balloon is also always an hour.

It's always an hour. But have you noticed? I don't think it's tested. No. Yeah, I think it's still beta. It's a pretty hour, though. You can get pneumatic tubes, but only in the Bay Area. Sook.

Her. Yeah. So Area. Sook. Huh. Yeah. Sook. Sook. I want to feel like a bank transfer. My. Those things I've always really.

That's such a rapper thing to like, I'm basically a bank transfer. Sook. I'm so rich, I am money. You feel me? You feel me? Oh, I'm having a good time. Yeah, right? I feel high. I'm telling you, this is like-

That's how you know it's good. Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean, it's time for your second pick. All right. So, you know, you got the wild card. Now you need somebody who's been around for a while. They've seen some things. Maybe they read a story in the news about how somebody got their eyes stabbed out for no reason the other day.

Oh, my God. This is just like a week ago. This happened in whatever fictional city there is. So you're taking someone who reads the newspaper. I'm taking, oh God damn it, where's his actual name in here? I thought I dropped the ball again. I'm taking Detective Somerset from the movie Seven,

Morgan Freeman from Seven. Been around, he's there, like he'll get it done, but I feel like he can calm down Lonzo a little bit. Isn't he about to retire? But we don't know yet. I mean, he stuck around for the other case of the detective, which will go unnamed in case somebody else is trapped.

He's also fictional, so he's constantly in a period of getting too old for this shit. Right. He's going to be old. We can't say that one either, but yeah. They thought it as soon as they saw the topic. Yeah. They thought as soon as they saw how long this episode is. I'm getting too old for this shit.

That's every All Fantasy Everything listener. Every time we drop an episode, they're like, two hours? I'm getting too old for this shit. I'm getting too old for this shit. I'm going to be two hours older by the time this is done. But they always serve one more nickel. Well, the raft is a long commute. It is a long, yeah. It's a long commute. It is a long, yeah.

It's a long commute. It's a long raft trip. Yeah, detective. Make sure you wear your bucket hats. Oh, dude, which one, bro? Miami Dolphin bucket hat. Oh, yeah, all right.

Go on about Somerset, my friend. I didn't mean to interrupt you. He's calming. He can, I don't know, he's been around long enough. He can... I also like the idea,

I feel like he has a lot of contacts. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He gets that guy from the Bureau I feel like he has a lot of contacts. Oh, yeah. He gets that guy from the bureau to get him that list of names. He thinks outside the box. Outside the bun, my friend. He thinks outside the box.

Oh, shit, look at this guy. Come to the end of the movie. I'm sorry, I've never seen it. I was just going off Wikipedia. Is Seven the same movie as Twelve Monkeys? Yes. Cool. I honestly...

Also the same movie as Congo. But are those ones that you connected those in your brain when you were a kid? For sure. Oh, yeah. I'm sure. I thought Outbreak was Congo for years. For sure. I'm still not sure it's not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Prove it to me, internet. I've never seen them together. Exactly. You ever seen Outbreak and Congo in the same room? Never before. One time. I was at a party where someone said they were both there. Bullshit. But I didn't seen them together. Exactly. You ever seen Outbreaking Congo in the same room? Never before. Not one time. I was at a party where someone said they were both there.

Bullshit. But I didn't see them both. Fake news. Fake news. Yeah. Get on Facebook, dude. I heard people say, oh, well, they have different titles. And I'm like, you can spin it around any way you like.

But I know what I feel in my gut. And I'm a straight talker. Power to the people. Rachel Maddow. Get on it. Hell yeah. God damn. Zeitgeist.

Loose change. Oh, dude. Zeitgeist too. You want to be different? You want to be different? Jet fuel can't melt steel beams. No. Working from home is an inside joke.

You hit pause. What did that plane fly in at the ground floor? Come on now. Come on now. What are we doing? Hey. Open your eyes. Open your eyes.

Box. Take out the vodka. No, it's hard. It must be hard for sheep to open their eyes, but you can try to open them, you know? There you go. Even if you're a wolf in sheep's clothing. Peter the wolf. Somerset.

David. Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong. I do. I also feel. What was it? Drunk or something. It's really fun. Yeah.

Detective Somerset morgan freeman yeah he's seen in just in that movie he's seen seven things that no one should have to see well and that's like that's the beginning of the movie he's like why do you want to quit or whatever and he goes no just last week uh i read about some man who got robbed and got his eyes cut out for no reason that was no more than a block from here yeah i just don't understand this world anymore i think is what he says does Does he really? But he sticks around because he wants to help. Or he's just intrigued. Because Alonzo could be popping off on some shit.

Alonzo would probably cut the guy's eyes out. Morgan Freeman will very calmly tell him something he saw during the Seven case. And I feel like Alonzo will listen a little bit. Well, anybody will listen to, I feel like, Morgan Freeman. Nobody's going to be like, shut up, Morgan Freeman. That's never been said. That probably hasn't ever been said. Shut up, Morgan Freeman.

Wait, that's really funny. He should play himself in a movie. He should. People are just so dismissive of Morgan Freeman. Oh, stop. Shut up, Morgan Freeman. We're trying to do this thing that's important. Yes.

Pipe down with your kernels of wisdom. Yeah. If I wanted a kernel, I'd go to KFC. There it is. You say that to him. I worked on it. See what Lonzo does, you say that to him. I'm not saying shit to Lonzo.

I don't want to hang out with that dude. Batman's not saying shit to Lonzo. No, he's fucking sneaking PCP into weed. I smoke weed. Yeah. It's fucking bad. Oh, true. That's a bad combo for us.

I smoke weed all the time. Hey, hey, hey, hey. And he's like, what song is that? What is that from? What? That sounds cool. What is that? Seriously, Lonzo?

You're not going to like it. Is that from the Keep Their Heads Ringing guy? Seriously, Lonzo? Smoke weed every day. Had to finish it. You can never leave that ball in the air. You can't. So.

My second pick. Oh. What? It goes back? Yeah, serpentine. I thought it was keep going and throwing me. No, that's why it's a sandwich. Like a mayo.

I wish you'd describe something with like I don't know a subway sandwich I've done it like 50 times like we it's kind of a 80 oh that's why

you did a new analogy yes I was so it was so random I was like he's just explaining this to me using okay

you do a different thing every time alright that makes sense do you see how now I thought okay go ahead now

now what are we gonna oh shit okay really I thought. Okay. Go ahead. Now. Now. What are we going to do? Oh, shit. Okay. Really? Air horn, dude. Keep going.

Tornado siren. Keep going, actually. I was thinking it'd be cool if you had a baby who, like, you're like, it's colicky, but like, and the doctor's like, it's fine. Babies get colicky, you know, just give them the colicky medicine. And you're like, but listen to him cry. And it's like, you put the baby on the phone. It's like, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh. You're like, oh, my God.

For a second, I thought you said garlicky. Your baby's an electric daisy. He's garlic babies. Did you conceive him as acceptable? Italian-Americans. You calm down. God damn, Carter. Oh, hey, oh, oh.

We only like potato babies around the Jordan household. Potato baby. Little Irish potato baby, that's what we need. All right, I'm going to take, I feel like I need someone who understands you. I've got bat mind. I definitely need someone who understands me. But that's for another podcast. Batmind? Oh.

Wait, what? What if there is a character named Batmind? Batmind? I'm Batmind. I've got Batman. But now I need the Batmind. Hi, I'm Batmind. And everybody's like, ugh. They do not like this guy. Get out of here, Batmind. Why are you even wearing an outfit?

You never leave. So I've got Batman who's the muscle and also a cold, calculating, logical person. Now I need somebody. And disturbed. I don't know exactly what this crime is going to be or what this cream is. No, you were right.

Maybe it's a cream crime. You were right. Go with it. I need somebody who's able to sort of use their imagination to conjure up infinite possibilities. Uh-huh. You know, when all of the logical outcomes have been eliminated. It's super better not be another superhero. All that leaves is the illogical, which is why I'm taking Fox Mulder.

Okay. From televisions. Uh-huh. Televisions, The X-Files. Sure. Yeah. All right, good. So I need somebody. I liked him on Californication.

That's an actor. Okay. I really like to imagine Batman and Fox Mulder. Kissing? Like having a darkness off, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like a brood.

Oh, like a smolder down? At least you had a sister in the first place. Just a brood. Oh, like a smolder down? At least you had a sister in the first place. Just a brood of. I would have loved a sister. Even one afternoon with her. I would have just every second of it. You ever played catch with a mirror fox? Not a play pepper with only one person

I do I threw catch to myself off a fence sometimes I'll make Robin put a wig on and rat me out to fake parents my sister was 5000 bats in a cave she's actually pretty great

she's engaged She's actually pretty great. She's engaged. I don't have a riff. It's too good. I don't have a riff. I don't have a riff. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes you don't have it.

Sometimes you have it. Sometimes you don't have it. I'm not going to step on that. I like the guy. It's weird that he's just a guy. I don't know if I'd hang out with him one on one. I'm sure by now everybody thinks... Everybody has to think Batman is here. Batman's not here.

It's actually just us. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, Fox Mulder. Fox Mulder. Spooky Mulder. It's getting weird. And it's cool that his name is Fox. Yeah, Fox.

Fox and Bat. Throwing out wild hypotheses, seeing where they go, letting the bat track them down. It tracks. A fox and a bat. It tracks. When they go to dinner, is it reservation under Bat Fox or Fox Bat? It's just the two of them at dinner. Oh, it's definitely a fake name.

Sword. Yeah, Sword. Always Sword. Table for two a fake name. Sword. Yeah, sword. Always sword. Table for two for Spectre. Fat. Even Batman's kind of cracking up. Spectre. Gyllenhaal.

And then he like snort laughs. It's Orlando. Jake Gyllenhaal seems like the kind of dude who wants to play Batman so bad at some point in his life. Oh, no question. He gets so mad. Whenever he sees a new Batman, he's like, fuck, could have been me, bro. Southpaw was his Batman. Yeah.

Nightcrawler was his Batman. Nightcrawler was. Yeah, he just strikes me as a guy who wants to be Batman real bad. I know. Also, is he Topher Grace? I'm not entirely sure that he's not. That's why we had you on, to ask the tough questions. You never see them together.

No, you don't. My pick for my next person is going to be, fuck, I have two. I have a lot, and I'm just going to go ahead and say. So I've got Carrie Matheson who's a crazy bitch and I'm gonna go with my next pick is somebody else

who has a long time in the force technically fictionally retired but we're gonna bring her back oh yeah bring her back I feel like it's important Jane Tennyson

oh from the eponymous series Prime Suspect on the BBC so if you haven't seen Prime Suspect on the BBC. So if you haven't seen Prime Suspect, it was Helen Mirren's fucking starch tour, what do you call it?

Like a tour de force portrayal of Jane Tennyson, and she starts at, it's incredible because in the Great Britain Across the Pond, they can make a whole series, and it doesn't have to be a certain amount of time. So they were like mini movies and it spanned like two decades of this lady's career. So you see her start out in the forest when

nobody wants her to be a detective because she's a lady to like when she ends and she's totally drunk. But she's amazing. She's definitely Like that's not how it's gonna end for us the champ

the champ's over here laughing every detective has their Achilles heel and hers is that she's an alcoholic it's a bottle it's a drink which I identify with

it's a drink but she's extremely studious she's very smart she's always she always knows the thing before everybody else knows the thing like it was

and you really believe you really believe her. And she also is like, she's been doing it for the longest of all my picks. That's it. You need that experience. She needed that experience. From 91 to 2006. Holy fuck. That is so long.

That's when the series was. But that's like, that's got to be in soap opera numbers. Because they do TV better than us over there. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like she could reign in the Carrie Matheson. Oh, yeah. But the problem is both of them are kind of like have mental illness.

She's an alcoholic. Carrie Matheson's bipolar. And they both have substance abuse issues. So I feel like I have to get some people in my- Maybe they fill gaps. You'll wrangle in some more picks. Okay, that's fair. Oh, yeah. We got more picks. You got two wild stallions. You still wrangle in some more picks. Okay, that's fair. Oh, yeah, we got more picks.

You got two wild stallions. You still have time to draft a chariot. There you go. That's a perfect way of saying it. Thank you. I appreciate that. I do. Yeah.

Also, Prime Suspect is the greatest fucking show ever, if you haven't seen it. Was it really 16 seasons? No, it was done over that span of time. No, and it's like eight or something like that. But it is fucking riveting. It's like every single one is like you cannot believe how good it is. It's like so realistic.

The acting is incredible. There's no weird shitties. You know how sometimes there'll be like a detective show where like the side actors are like come in. The side actors, the guest stars. And they're like, I never murdered anybody. Get out of here. Like every single actor is incredible. I never murdered anybody. Get out of here. Every single actor is incredible. I like side actor.

I can't for some reason not say that. I started saying it and it's like, King Hat. It's fun. King Hat. I dig it. Watch Prime Suspect, guys, and do watch the original Prime Suspect, guys, and don't watch the original.

Do watch the original Prime Suspect. Don't watch the American remake, and definitely don't watch the weird prequel they're making now called Prime Suspect Tennyson or something like that. And it's starring this weird model. It's like a supermodel, and it's fine, nothing against hot ladies,

but in the show She's playing this like She's playing Jane Tennyson As a young Which Helen Mirren Was like super hot As a young lady So it's believable But in the show

Everybody's treating her Like she's not hot Which I think is so annoying It's like when super hot people Are on TV And then everybody's like She like goes and gets them coffee Like this coffee's too hot, Jane!

Get me some more coffee! Like, nobody would talk to this 12 that way. Like her boss wouldn't be just like sipping down scalding hot coffee like, oh my god! Like the hottest person any of them have ever seen. They're like, sorry, sir! And she's like a playboy fucking

angel or whatever. Don't let it happen again. Exactly. Brov. You're at the bottom of the barrel here. I want you to know that. Get out of here, brov. Call your detective drugs, because that's what you are, isn't it?

Get out of here, brov. Train us. Britman? Britman, dude. Fish and chips. I'm not wearing cricket pants. Arlo where's now where is she in it

hide to bother you where's the joker bruv the bat lorry we lost all the the bat fuck me Fuck me. All their stuff sounds less scary than ours does. All the British listeners are gone.

No, we love you, British listeners. I'm coming to see you. I know. I'm not doing any shows, but I'll be around. I'm sweating. Hanging out in Shoreditch. Giving people the business. All their places over there sound either the nicest

or the worst places. Yeah, right? It's like Hampton on Thames or Shoreditch. Yeah. Ipswich. When we go, we're staying in a place called Fitzrovia or something like that. But it sounds fake, right?

Yeah. You know, like the Baron of Fitzrovia. Yeah, like if a kid wrote a fairy tale, that's what it would be. You mean, one day we'll go to Fitzrovia? And then he's like, no, Gavin! Somebody says yes, and then they go to their wife, they go, I just lied to my son for the first time.

I told him we would go to Fitzrovia. It's not even real. And then he spends the rest of the movie making Fitzrovia. And that's what it's called go to Fitzrovia. It's not even real. And then he spends the rest of the movie making Fitzrovia. And that's what it's called, making Fitzrovia. On FX. That's right, it's on FX. David Bones Borey. Yes, sir.

Oh, wait, we've talked about Jane Tennyson enough. Yeah, check out Prime Suspect. It's time for your second and third picks. Second pick, I have Bones. Brains of the operation. Bones very much in the lab, though, is what I'm saying. True, dude. I need boots on the ground.

Yes. I need a man on the street who's in the street and knows the street. Right. I need a man who's willing to risk his life for his brother man. I need- Oh, shit. John motherfucking Schaaf. Yes. Woo. Yeah, 100%. Come on. Come need John motherfucking Shaft. Yes.

Yeah, 100%. Come on. Come on. Yeah, of course. Who is man? Who's brother man? Shaft. John Shaft.

Can you dig it? I just, man, I love him so much. I had a poster when I was a kid. Shut your mouth. I'm only talking about Elizabeth Colorado. Oh, I can take it. Okay. No, I love him.

He can like, he's going to swing through a window on a rope wearing all leather. It's another long leather trench coat guy. It's really important to have, I think, style on your team. You need a sexy cop. You need at least one like mad sexy cop. Yeah. And he's I think, style on your team. You need a sexy cop. You need at least one mad sexy cop. And he's, man, that guy is sexy. Sexy. And he's been all over the globe.

I don't know if you guys recall, he went to Africa. That was a film I also had on VHS for a while. Yeah, Sean Shaft, even Richard Roundtree. Sure. If that's what it had to be. I'd take him. Not as exciting. You don't have to.

No, yeah, I can take John Shaft. We're taking the Richard Roundtree version of Shaft, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If we had to pick one, right? No, I'm not taking Samuel L. Jackson. Okay, yeah, yeah. No offense to SJ, but like, come on, man. What did Shaft go do in Africa?

Oh, had sex with a white woman somehow. Atta babe. It was a bed. It was a time. He thinks it's so funny that he did that there. Shaft does? Yeah. That's why he went.

He also had sex with a lot of Africans. At one point he was like, what did he say? He's like, they say this is the motherland. And baby. And then he says something funny. It was a long time. I just remember watching it and being like, this dude's on a boat. this is the motherland and baby and then he says something funny I remember I just remember watching it and being like

this dude's on a boat but yeah John Shaft man on the poster he's got a bow staff like Donatella yeah cause he also knows karate

a lot of black dudes in the 70s knew karate and he's wearing like I don't even know what the right it looks like it's like a jumper I have to say your team is like a super team already.

Bones and Shaft. Bones and Shaft. Back again. Two nicknames. Is it leather? Was he wearing leather? Not in Africa. No.

One wouldn't. Yeah, yeah. You're right. He did have some type of... He's wearing leather under a t-shirt. Yeah, he had some type of like a shawl thing. He's wearing like a... It looks like a romper, like a men's romper.

Yeah, I think it was just a short shorts. Okay. But yeah, John Shaft, you don't have to, you know, what else do I got to say about Shaft? No, nothing. All right, so that's. Here's a picture of him on the cover of Ebony. Whoa. Let me see.

Shaft in Africa, Richard Roundtree. Damn. Dude. One day, David. Is he wearing a Canadian tuxedo? Yes, he is. I think he's wearing denim, denim, double denim. Damn.

God damn. David, if you ever get on the cover of Ebony, you have to wear double denim, man. Yeah. You have to wear triple. Oh, no, I know. Triple denim. Is that a thing? Make it a thing.

My underwear is denim. Unseen denim. I got denim socks on. i got denim you can't see you're lifting it up it's you because you got your foot up on a gazebo you're pulling it up to show the world's first pair of denim socks yeah it's distressed socks and ah all right but yeah john shaft all right john shaft this is my second pick any other way pick okay so third pick you guys tell me how this goes, because this is kind of a weird, this is a thin line.

I want to give it a green light already. But we're drafting detectives, so I'm drafting a group, because while you need John Shaft on the street, he's only one man. He can only do so much. Now wait, now wait, now wait. Now wait, now wait. Before you make this pick, we're going to take a quick commercial break. Okay.

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F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash allfantasy5. Seriously, man, if this is an issue, get some help, alright? And and then just get some all right back to the podcast and we're back david the listeners have been in suspense they've all been waiting okay so what i'm saying is you need a team yeah you need a whole crew because it's not it's not a one-man operation you need a driver You need all that shit. So what I'm taking is the crew of Chip

and Dale Rescue Rangers. Jesus. You did it. The whole crew? You actually did it. Jeans on? They got their jeans on? I took just Mulder. I didn't know.

Yeah, you could pick. I don't think you can take everybody. What if you just can take Chip and Dale? No, I want't know. Yeah, you could pick. Can I not? I don't think you can take everybody. I think you might have to pick a ranger. What if you just can take Chip and Dale? No, I want Gadget. I want Gadget if I can only have to take one. That's what I would do, too. Yeah, okay, Gadget.

Because she's like, yeah, okay, I'll take Gadget. I'll take Gadget. I'll take Gadget. Because she can do anything with anything. She made all the shit. You'd want Gadget. I think they have a car made out of a pencil. Yeah.

You need that. You need that. She's my Morgan Freeman in Dark Knight. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I'll take. Okay, okay, fair. She's my Morgan Freeman in Dark Knight. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I'll take it. Okay, okay.

Fair. Detective adjacent will allow Gadget. Absolutely. Will allow Gadget. Gadget from Chip and Dale. What kind of mouse was Gadget? Or rodent? I mean.

I don't. She was a mouse. Easy. It is 2018. Oh, jeez. Sorry. What kind of mouse rodent are they? Italian-American.

That's what it is. Yes. Italian. There's a garlic baby. Also, I just love that song. These fucking garlic babies. These fucking. Come on.

This used to be a decent neighborhood, and these fucking garlic babies. These fucking garlic babies saying goo-goo-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-goo. They can't even say ga-ga-goo. Goo-goo-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-goo. They can't even say ga-ba-goo. Goo-goo-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga- I feel like we just accidentally cast a spell. Oh, yeah, absolutely. The first floor of HeadGum is rapidly filling up with anthropomorphic meatballs. It's a Strega Nona right now situation. I was like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.

Oh, Anthony. Oh, man. Hey, so hungry. Gadget. Okay, I think she's a mouse. Is that what it's saying? With kind of an April O'Neil haircut. And I feel like you need somebody with goggles in the crew. Oh, yeah.

She's got good goggles. I like to think the whole crew's rocking goggles. I don't think you could get shabbed in goggles. Like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Maybe. I think he only wears goggles when he hoops. I think he plays basketball in goggles, but that's it. Seems very antithetical.

You know, it's a weird life that he lives. Still the love of the French, though. He wears VR goggles. I don't even, I'm so bored, I'm so good at this game. Well, the thing is, Shaft's had VR since the 70s. Oh, yeah. Certainly has. Well, okay, yeah, Gadget, though.

That's real resistance. All right, Gadget. All right, Gadget from Jebedel. Al, it's going to start for you with Thoid Pick. David, I'm going to copy you a little bit, because I was going to go in the direction of, like, I need a tempering energy in my crew, because I now have bipolar Carrie Matheson

and also the alcoholic Jane Tennyson, who are both total alphas, and I don't think either of them would listen to each other, so it's already tense. They're already both going to want to lead the team and they're both going to be furious at each other. But I do need a tech whiz and

I do need another kick-ass lady. I'm going to pick Lisbeth Slander from Girl with a Dragon Tattoo. Who can bust some nuts. What? Yeah. No, yeah. You were right. Yeah.

There's many ways. She fucks. You can bust a lot of different nuts. She fucks. Yeah. She does. She fucks. And she can hack.

So that's important. Yeah. She can do this stuff. See, I don't know what hacking is. Yeah. To me, it just looks like fast typing. Definitely Jane Dennison does not know what an emoji is. She's got a flip phone for sure.

Do you use emojis in hacking? Well, no. I'm just saying that's how far removed Jane Tennyson is. No, and that's a crit. I didn't mean that. I understand that hacking. And Carrie Matheson always has other people doing that. So we're going to have Lizbeth on that.

Yeah, you need a hacker. Yeah. Also, and you can't underrate this. Her last name kind of sounds like Salamander. That's important, and it is a serpentine pit. Serpentine drought, yeah. Sean, your hair's doing that thing again where it looks like you're falling out of an airplane.

It always looks like that scene. There's something about Mary. I have to admit, I still haven't seen Girl or read Girl with a Dragon Tattoo. It's a book. It's a book. Or a magazine. read Girl with a Dragon Tattoo. It's a book? It's a book. Or a magazine.

It's a book and two movies. Magazine. It is a monthly, it's a bi-monthly magazine. One of my favorite movies are based off of bumper stickers, so I understand. Bumper stickers and magazines, yeah. You love that movie Coexist? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, I love Coexist.

My other car's a dog? Yes. No, wait, that's not it. I like, if you're watching this, you're too in the movie. Yeah. If you're in the theater. I'd rather be humping. My child's a side actor at John Muir Elementary.

Yeah. Side actor. Honk again, I'm reloading. There it is. That's a summer blockbuster. Honk again, we're reloading. There it is. That's a summer blockbuster. Honk again, we're doing reshoots. Yeah. Because the studio is pretty upset.

I actually pitched a movie called Student Driver. Oh, yeah. About like- Baby Driver 2? Yeah. Makes sense. But it's a student driver one. Okay.

Okay. I was confused. Yeah. This is my pitch. What if you guys gave me money to do the movie? Ooh, I like that. They didn't jump? Come on, give me the money.

Come on, the money. Okay, well, what's your main character? Give me the money, y'all. Please. I'm so sad lately. I'm so sad lately. Okay, how do you see Act 3 going? Well, because it's called Student Driver,

I was thinking maybe you could help. Come on. Okay. And probably they learn. Okay. We do like that. I'm feeling tickled. I want to fund it.

I want to fund it. Yay! Okay, well, I have one more question for this. Do you have any talent attached or anything? Do you think this is talented? Trick question. Yes, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I'm going to put a one, you put the zeros.

I'm in it. Funded. Thank you. So that's just, you know, I think professionalism in Hollywood is one of the key, you know, Me Too movements. That's how I've gotten this far. Just to be clear, you've got that. That's registered with the Writers Guild.

So don't listen to this and then think you can sell that movie. Thank you, Ian. Because sometimes, especially in England. Oh, yeah. We don't even have to say it. What they do over there. This is Beth Salander.

David and I are going to Biloxi while you guys are going to be in England. Hell yeah, I'm going to go to two Golden Corrals. You're having a Golden Rodeo? Yeah, that's what they call it. The Golden Rodeo? I just immediately think of the toilet. Oh, yeah. That's where the Golden Rodeo.

See if you can stay on. Yeah, that's how you explain the serpentine. You go to one golden corral, eat some white fish for some reason, then go to the other one, eat more white fish, and then eat more white fish, and then go back to the first one. Lisbeth Salander, she's a hacker. She's Nordic. Swedish?

Swedish, dude. Swedish. Swedish. Swedish. Swedish, like Bjarn Bjark. Yeah. Sworn enemy of the Norwegians but that's okay

I don't care Elizabeth Salander, it's time for my third pick alright, fuck out I didn't think I was going to be able to get both but I'm going to take Scully too there you go now you have a science head that's nice right there

I want to take him like a quarterback and a receiver from the same school. Got the duo. I got Aaron Rodgers and whoever. And he had that a kid. I wonder how you're going to prevent Mulder and Scully from investigating Batman. Because I feel like they're going to think he's so weird and they're going to be like, he's an alien, right? Shit.

If you don't know a file on a table, it's called the Greenwich Batman. There's been sightings since 1971 and a lot of disappearances in the area. They say he sleeps hanging upside down. They say he sleeps hanging.

Scully sleeps hanging upside down in a cave. But Fox, this file ends in 1984. Medically, that's not possible. Nobody could sleep hanging upside down. That medically would not be possible. That's the thing, Dana. Well, it's not possible for a human.

I can sleep how I want. Oh, you're here. Don't talk about me like I'm not around. We're in the same car. I'm not around. We're in the same car. I'm driving somewhere. We're all in the Batlory. It's the only vehicle that's big enough. I like that the Batlory is like a Batmobile that's painted like Austin Powers' car.

Oh, I thought of it as a lorry. It's so lumbering. Like a big truck. Yeah, it's like a huge truck. Like a boss truck. It's not at all Batmobile-ish. No, not at all. I thought of it as like a white box truck.

It handles like shit. There's like four blankets and a hand truck in the back. Sorry, I still don't know how to handle this thing. Alfred usually drives the Batlory. Dana, do you want to hop out and check my... They just use it when they're moving other shit around.

But he still calls it the Batlory. He's full Bruce Wayne. Scully, she's logical. She's calculating. She's a scientist, by trade. She's a scientist, so we've got that angled down. Batman's not a scientist. No.

Batman is rich. He's rich. That's what Batman is. And he's a detective, but he's not a scientist. She's a scientist, so we've got that angled down. Batman's not a scientist. Batman is rich. He's rich? That's what Batman is. He's a detective, but he's not a scientist. She brings the science angle. Skepticism. Science. Pantsuits. Angles. All I want. Out of a detective. I dig it. Dana Scully.

Also, just one step back, an early crush of mine. For sure. What's your real name? Also, just one step back, an early crush of mine. Nice. For sure. Yeah, you can. What's her real name? Jillian Jake?

No. Jillian Anderson. Jillian Anderson. Who's Jillian Jacobs? Jillian Jacobs is in, she's that comedic actor who's in. Gillian Jacobs, right? The girl in Love? Gillian Jacobs.

Yeah, Love. You know, you could have also covered your bases. I mean, I think that Scully's a perfect pick. Yes. Because she goes with Mulder already. Yes. But if you wanted, she also played another TV detective on The Fall. Oh, I haven't seen The Fall.

A fantastic series. Oh, I should have seen The Fall. Yes. She won't belong on my team because I already have too many serial killer invasions. Oh, is that a serial killer show? She does, yeah. Ooh. Yeah.

I haven't seen The Fall. And you watch it and you're like, wait, how long has it been since? Because she looks identical. She still looks the exact same. She's not aged fucking at all. It's crazy. She looks like a hot owl. She looks like she bathes in La Mer.

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what's La Mer? It's a, you know. You know me. La Mer. Oh, yeah, Alice. She casually slips into French every now and then.

Casually slips into French. How do you say la mail? It's a dispensive cream. Oh, nice. Yeah. My birthday's tomorrow if anybody wants to buy it for me. Hook it up. Hook it up.

Mail it to HeadGum. We'll use a little bit and then give the rest to Alice. Yeah, that's right. Okay, so Dana Scully. Sean, it's time for your third and fourth picks. Okay. So my third pick, I also need a scientist. And this scientist-

You're going to take the one from the Coldplay song? Yeah. Can I pick the whole Coldplay song and then we can just listen to that? So one of your detectives is a song, Sean. Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's not cool? What are we going to do?

Do I need to show you my Coldplay tattoo? Do you need a ride home? Are you okay? It's like Tupac's Thug Life tattoo, but it says Coldplay on it. Coldplay. Yeah, right on my stomach that shouldn't have a tattoo on it. You're bleeding out of your nose. Well, it's from all the cocaine

that us chavs were doing before the show. Wait a minute. Chav cane. Chav cane. Chav cane, which is just powdered baby aspirin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I cut it with powdered donut sugar. Brushed up sweet donuts in there. Yeah, for the Sunday.

Clorox bleach. Bleach. Clorox bleach. Bleach, bleach, bleach. Who are you picking? Clorox bleach. My pick is going to be Clorox bleach.

The scientist, and he has, that's what you were going to do? I was going to yes, Aunt David's Clorox bleach. Damn, homie. Where'd you die this. Damn, homie. Where'd you die this? Damn, homie.

Damn, homie. These beats are clean. Sparkling beats. Beats, beats, beats. Grass stains. Gravy. Blood. Grass stains are history.

I like that you nailed my three stains in order of frequency. Yeah. Grass stains, gravy, blood. That's pretty good. Also your order of frequency. Grass stains, gravy, blood. Also your blues name, old grass stains, gravy, blood. Clorox Beats, dude. Gets rid of blood and crips.

Oh! There we go. DJ name, Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them. Oh, damn. That's fantastic. Mine is DJ Beats of No Nation. Beats of No Nation? Oh, Beats of No Nation.

I just didn't. Beats of the Southern Wild? Just pick your pick, man. Oh, wait, it's pick your pick. Mine is DJ The Increasingly Tenuous Situation in the Middle Beats. K.O. Now we can move on. All right, Sean, your pick?

That was beautiful. It's going to be Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Oh, shit. He's got like low-key superpowers. Yeah, he's a friend. But they're really on the floor. But he's also a scientist. He is.

He's very smart. He's got braces, which is fun. They are detectives. He's got that diamond on the back. But he's also a scientist. He is. He's very smart. He's got braces, which is fun. They are detectives. That diamond on the back, they are detectives. That is something that I made damn sure of

before I chose Frylock. Yeah. But I just like him. And Carl would be around sometime. That would be fun. Oh, hey there, Fryman. Hey, Fryman.

Yeah, I saw you. I'm not familiar with that particular force. Would that be kind of somebody that would be annoying to your other? Frylock? Frylock's actually pretty...

First of all, him and Lonzo can vibe over their fucking weird goatees. Oh, they have the same goatees. So he's not a child. So whenever they're wild, they'll be like, well, all right,

we have to go to those goatee dinners once a week. Not quite a beard, brother. I don't let my kids watch TV, so I haven't seen that. Yeah, I don't let my kids watch TV so. I haven't seen that. Yeah I couldn't watch South Park until I was 29

so I'm weird. It was sword or cutlass. I didn't have a bed until I was 26 and then it was South Park you know. Are you making fun

of me? No. Oh my god. By the way the only reason I have a bed is because there was one in the room I currently live in.

Listen my girlfriend wanted her own bed. It's normal. They used to do it all the time in the 50s. All right. It's not weird. It's because I snore. But there were other problems. We're great friends now.

I love her and wish her all the best. Listen, it's cool, dude. All right. We went to Ikea. I got a day bed. It became a night bed. It became a night bed. Sean sleeps there now. Also, shout out to all the women just laying down with fat men at night.

I got a handjob threesome in that day bed. It was weird. We did just talk about that the other day. That's a great story. You don't have to tell it on air. I won't. I won't. Oh, yeah, Frylock.

Frylock. I feel like he's a good addition to the team. I don't think they're going to, because he kind of plays at the level of his competition. Yeah. So, like, when, I don't, let's, they'll go unnamed in case anybody wants to pick him, but let's say the rest of the Hunger Force is around. Nobody's picking the rest of the Hunger Force. Well, all right.

Like if Shake's pissing him off, he can turn into a boss. If Meatwad's, I guess I have one of those buffalo wings. Give me one. Yes. Wait, so he can turn into things? No. No, Meatwad can. Oh, Meatwad can.

I just haven't seen this, how this sounds like nonsense. Yeah, it's really annoying. He has laser eyes sometimes it's not an important show to grab he's also a box of fries sometimes

well right he's also literally a box of fries oh I like that he has that fry smell I don't hate I don't hate having that

every now and again he'll use his laser eyes to melt something but he really doesn't use it a lot your squad is shaping up okay keep going it's gonna get weirder.

If I get what I want, it's going to be... It's about to be a Marvel movie. Yes, please, please. Yeah, I like Prylock. The largest cinematic crossover event in history. He can handle the aliens. Sure. I hope you can hear this because I'm doing it as hard as I can.

As hard as I can. Yes, smoke cigarettes. Where's my whiskey? I'm gonna get tore up. Yes, get tore up and pass out in the hot sun. Don't people love when you just do TV quotes back and forth? I feel like I'm babysitting.

That's what used to happen when I babysit. That's close to what's happening. It's not that far. You're the closest to the door so we can't fall down the stairs. Always, always, guys. You're the closest to the door, so we can't fall down the stairs. Always. Always, guys. You should maybe let one of us. Sean, third pick. What's your fourth pick?

Oh, shit. That's right. I completely got lost in the sauce. I apologize. So my fourth pick is going to be Marge Gunderson. Oh, boy. Who is Frances McDormand from Fargo. Oh, my God.

Brilliant. Brilliant pick. Is that your accomplice during a chipper? Yeah, she seems, she's just so logical. Maternal. Yeah, yeah. You gotta have a maternal person around. And I feel like she would reign everyone in no matter what.

Not even Lonzo's getting buck on her. She'd see how ridiculous this floating box of fries was, but she'd work with them anyway. I really like that pick. Wouldn't care. That's a good one. She wouldn't be upset about it. Yeah, and I just, I think she does a bang up job in the movie that I watched her be a detective

in. She's fantastic at it. She's fantastic. Yeah. Hitting all the angles. Fucking McDormand. Never loses her shit, by the way. Yeah.

That's also important. Even to that like clueless dude who's like, well, what do you think happened, Marge? And then she just kind of feeds it to him. So he can think that he did it, like he helped in some way, but she just kind of fed him the case. You know she's dope if you're taking someone from the other Dakota. Whoa, that's a great point.

That is. I've never even heard you reference. I don't even think he can say North Dakota. He just calls it the other Dakota. Uh-uh, he calls it Borth Dakota. Borth. Well, we don't say Fs and they don't say S's

So I call it Sorth Dakota Kind of like the Bloods and Crips But I just Wait F they don't say N's Right okay Sorth Dakota It was a good bit still Yeah I try I give it a shot and then I over explain it You swapped out a U for an R

I don't know I like the way it sounds Sorth Dakota Turf to bottom for Nerminal For Nerminal a U for an R? I don't know. It's great. I like the way it sounds. Yeah, it was fun. So whatever. South Dakota. South Dakota. South Dakota. Turf to bottom for Nerminal. For Nerminal. Mark Gunn is a man.

Yeah, she's just all around. I hated Three Billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri. I hear horrible things. And I loved Frances McDormand in it anyway.

Yeah. She's just fantastic. What a talent. It sucks that she did that movie though. I haven't heard a single. It sucks that she did that movie, though. I haven't heard a single, not one good, even from people who like everything. I try to like everything.

I started watching it, and the first shot of the movie is those three billboards. You're like, wait a minute. Oh! When you're watching it. And just a sign that says, Oh, that's why. Welcome to Ebbing, just right after the three billboards.

They're just there. Oh, God, it's bad. It's so bad. At least she's good in it, I guess. She's good in everything. I probably won't ever see it now. She could read the yellow pages. Goddamn yellow pages.

Just read the phone book. Just read the yellow pages. Josh Anderson. She could read the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo magazine and I'd still be entertained. Marge Gunderson, excellent pick. Very good pick. I'm going to move us along now to my fourth pick.

And he's on the board. I got to take him. He's just hanging out there. Who is it? I'm going to take Sherlock Holmes. Somebody's got to take him. I do not want him. No, you don't have to take him.

He annoys the shit out of me. For a long time. I'm taking the Benedict Cumberbatch version. Yeah. Oh. I thought you were a Robert Downey Jr. guy. Not a Downey guy. No, no, no, no.

I never saw Cumberbatch, but I heard really good stuff from my old roommates, Anthony and Heather. They loved it. Yes, absolutely. However, in a detective team, I mean, absolutely untenable. Like he would destroy. It would be so irritating to work with. He would never tell anybody what he was doing.

Yeah. He might go rogue. Well, that's why Batman's got him tied to a book. Batman's got him on a leash. Because Batman's got a homing device on him. He would be useless because you get to this crime and you do this crime. Yeah. And then he'd be like, I already know who it is.

And you'd be like, great. Help us out. You know? Yeah, just say. Well, if you haven't figured it out. Yeah. If you're able to deduce from the clues that have been in front of us the whole time. And be like, this is a computer.

Do you know? Get to it, Sherlock. You know. You know. Your Batman's there. Yeah, Batman. Go to the church. I'm telling you because you smashed my violin immediately. You know Batman's there Yeah Batman I'm not telling you Because you smashed my violin

Immediately When we met It scares me Oh cool a violin Can I see that Naturally Smell it No you can't

You're an animal You think I don't have Three more strontobarius Is where this came from You and your animal hands I'm so rich Off my violin. I bought all of them because

a little known villain named the Violinist escaped from Arkham Asylum. He turned out to be someone with borderline personality disorder, but I didn't know that until I broke his spine. Benedict Cumberbatch just laughs for like...

And now again, he's homeless. I'm really... I'm actually... Back on this huge problem in Gotham. Now he can't move. He's on the streets and he can't move now. I tried to help him, but he won't talk to me. Every time we start laughing, it's because of the Batman.

I keep laughing and getting dizzy. I know. I picture... He is, you're right. He's a wild card. He's a know-it-all. He's such a mansplainer. He's a total mansplainer, but there's a chance he's going to go out there.

And I'm thinking if I can get my fifth pick, it won't even be an issue. Does he just laugh for like 10 minutes straight and then go, actually, it's a cello? Absolutely. Actually, Batman, that's a cello. Yeah, it's a cello. Okay. Simple, simple animal. Al, it's time for your fourth pick.

Wait, wait, wait. What? Did you just say simple, simple animal? It's a Batman. Oh, I thought you were saying that a cello was a simple, simple. No, a cello is a complicated, complicated. I thought you thought a cello was a chinchilla. Oh, I can see that, but you can see with your history that being the case.

Yeah, that's not crazy for me. That's not crazy on me. Now, Alice, I'm going to ask you a question that has nothing to do with this particular draft. But did you ever think it was throw kosh into the wind? Or did you always know it was throw caution to the wind? No, I always thought it was caution to the wind. That's what I'm saying. Just check and just put my feet in the bathtub.

I knew this guy once who was like, are you out of your gore? And I was like, what? And he's like, yeah, you who was like, are you out of your gore? And I was like, what? And he's like, yeah, your gore. You're out of your gore? Well, that was when you were heavy into the Al Gore campaign right there. Because he was like, it's like your head. There's like gore in there. Oh, man.

I get it. Oh, honey. Oh, come here, baby. You're just wiping food off the face. He's hanging out with real hot guys. Yeah, I must have been real hot. Yeah, shout out to you dumbass hot guys. Okay, so speaking of hot guys. Are you your Gore Vidal?

I'm really torn over this next few picks. Because I've got only two spots left. And there's no reason to put this guy on my team, except that I just discovered this detective show the other night. And it's called Grantchester, and it's on the BBC the other night. And it's called Grantchester, and it's on the BBC. Throw on. And it's...

So the guy... Okay. Is he just smoking hot? I'm gonna have to look him up. He is... James Norton plays a vicar named Sidney Chambers. Which is an attorney, right?

Who becomes a detective. A vicar is a priest. Oh, a priest. Okay, my bad. That dude is perfect looking right? Who becomes a detective. A vicar is a priest. Oh, a priest. Okay. That dude is perfect looking. And he's insanely hot. Holy shit. And everyone in the show is like, all these women in the show are constantly like mad

that he's a priest. They're just like, yeah. He like, in the town that he lives in, he's like a priest and he's like really happy-go-lucky and he just loves God and being a priest. But he loves jazz too. But then also he starts solving crimes because people talk to him. And then also the other angle of the story is that everyone's so mad that he's a priest because he's so hot. Wait, you mean people talk to him like they confide in him?

Yeah, they confide in him because he's a priest and it's confidential. But he's just like – so he starts getting in the middle of all these like weird town mysteries. Okay. And then also he, I think on my team, he's like a very beta. Like he's like a super, I've already got like three alphas. Lay in the cut a little bit. Yeah. Who, Lizbeth, uh, Jane Tennyson and Carrie Matheson.

I've got three alphas and like, it would And it would be somebody for Carrie to have sex with. And also, because that would calm her down, I think, if she was screwing somebody. And then also, he would be very, he's like a very calm energy. And I think he could provide. And also, he's a man of God. That's beautiful. So he's spiritual.

Yeah, seriously. And he looks, I'd confide in him. You know how you know that guy's hot? Because his cheeks look like D'Angelo's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? He's got big dick face. Yeah.

When you look at the guy, you're like, oh, yeah, he's got big dick. That's not what I meant. No, but no, he does. Like, you look at his face, and you're like, big dick. Is exactly. But that's not what I meant. No, I know. You said his cheeks look like, you know, D'Angelo's.

Oh, my God. No, like his cheeks look like cum gutters. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I feel you. It's all looked like, you know, D'Angelo's. Oh, my God. No, like his cheeks looked like cum gutters. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I feel you. It's all got big dick face. I was just building on top of that.

He's got big dick face. He does got big dick face. Got big dick face. I'm a vicar. Yeah. I solve crimes and mysteries. Trap.

Trap. I'm a vicar in this town. I solve mysteries and I'm a money transfer. I'm not so rich that I'm a money transfer. Transfer.

Pneumatic tool. Tool. We did it. I'm a money transfer I'm a I'm not so rich that I'm a money transfer transfer pneumatic two we did it that was that was that was Clorox beats somebody out there on Twitter isolate that

and like tweet it see I do this all the time on my nobody ever does put a tiny little beat behind it somebody will turn that into Amigos track

yeah yeah turn that into make a little beat I had nothing I couldn't help at all you guys were killing it he got big dick face face pull me in my place place that into Amigos track. Yeah, yeah, turn that into it. Make a little beat. I had nothing. I couldn't help at all. You guys were killing it. He got big dick face.

Face. Put me in my place. Place. Put me in my place. Put me in my place. He got big dick face. Come get us on his face. No, that's Emma. Come get us on his face.

You squeezed it in. Come get us all on his face. Come get us all on his face. It's him coming. Yeah, I can fight him, that guy. I'm coming. Oh, God. Yeah, I confide in that guy. Get a teacher. He is so hot.

So I've been looking for a new Guilty Pleasure detective show, and this is what it is because it's so British-y. I like when they use hot people in shows where they should be in shows. They always use hot women in all these different shows where you don't necessarily need the women to be super hot. But in this show, obviously you put a hot guy in a role that is exclusively... This show is only women

are watching this show, which is about a vicar in a town in England. It's like, yeah, you definitely... Somebody call the vicar. Don't make a fucking weird... What's the name of the show? Grant Chester. I know a show exactly like that where they used a not.

It'll come up at the end. Yes. But I know a show just like that where they use a not attractive guy. And I don't think women watched it. I watched. Yeah. You know, there you go. Have you seen this shirtless picture of him?

Let me see it. Let me see. I also like that he's not... Shit. He isn't like American ripped. He's like... Because I notice like every guy... Oh, that's how Jim quit ripped.

Yeah. If a guy is in a movie in America and he's like slightly shirtless ever, he has to be like completely Thor cut up, which I think is so annoying. Me too. Because it's like real bodies are so much more attractive. Yeah. That's what we've been pushing. And I hate that. I do. It's so gross and pointless. Yeah. that's what we've been pushing. I hate that.

I do. It's so gross and pointless. Yeah, it's nasty. Put your shirts back on. It also is. I've had sex with a guy who was that cut up, and it's like you're having sex with a praying mantis or something. It's just like, ugh, there's nothing to rub on.

Yeah, you got to get more bounce to the ounce. You do. I'm like, I have to put a pillow on you. Yeah. It reminds me how I bought like a cool mid-century modern couch, and then the other day I sat in a sectional, and I'm like, oh. Oh, sectionals are... Why do I get a sectional?

It feels so good in the sectional. Joy Bird. Joy Bird? Yeah, wait till they sponsor you, but it's amazing. Okay. Hell yeah. Marissa, air horn that out. Joy, joy, Joybird.

Joy. You just end up making it worse. Scream. What's his name again? Grant Chester. I'm going to have to recommend this show to Laura. Sydney Chambers. She's not already on it, and I'm regretting it.

Yep. Brits. I get less attractive with every fucking show she watches. I get less attractive. Oh, yeah. You should ever watch Gargoyles, the animated feature. Probably help your case a little bit. They're hot gargoyles, but they're still gargoyles.

Yeah, they're pretty ripped, though. Those gargoyles are. They're hot, but like. Let's just say they're carved from stone. But they're gargoyles. My first TV crush was Launchpad from DuckTales. Launchpad McQuack? Yeah, I get that.

He was a barrel-chested warrior. He's got big duck face. The other thing I liked about him was that he was dumb. That was what attracted me. It wasn't that he was manly. Hey, I was getting the plane. Let's go for a ride.

And I was like, why is that hot? Big-ass chin. 60-year-old self. Yeah. Fuck's sake. Loved it. Wasn't he a tailspin, too? Or was that Baloo? That was Baloo. six year old self. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Fuck's sake. I loved it. I loved,

wasn't he in Tailspin too? Or was that Baloo? That was Baloo. Launchpad was in Tailspin a little bit. He wasn't in it? Didn't they cross over a little bit?

Yeah. I don't think so. He flew the rescue rangers though, right? He tested for rescue rangers. One of those side actors. All great songs, by the way.

He couldn't get out of a contract. Yeah, he was in exclusivity. Well, Scrooge, he tried getting out of a contract. Yeah, he's an exclusivity. Well, Scrooge, he tried getting out of a contract with Scrooge McDuck. David, it is time for your fourth and then final picks. So my- As his serpentine draft.

My fourth pick, I feel like everybody's serious. Even Gadget. Damn it. I know she's a cartoon. Damn it. Serious. She's about to biz. Straightforward.

Everybody's about the business. You doing it? I need a little X factor now. Okay. I need a a cartoon. Yeah. Serious. She's about to biz. Straightforward. Everybody's about the business. You doing it? I need a little X factor now. I need a little spice. I need a little. Maybe he's bumbling in the front. Sure. But he's good in the back.

Oh, boy. Jack in. I'm taking it across the pond. I'm going to France. I'm going with Jacques Clouseau. Oh, I thought you were going to do somebody else. Okay. Qu'est-ce que tu?

Answer the film. That's a great pick. I'm not into it. It's been a long time. I'm the teenager. My panther is pink. Pink. Patrick Jordan wasn't a man of many smart decisions, but one of them was making me watch all of the Pink Panther movies.

They're so fun. He's so fun. He's great. He's so dumb. People need to have fun at work, too. I agree. It's good to have a dumb part of your team. But he's also competent. It works out for him. When needed. Oh, yeah. He found the Pink Panther diamond. I agree. It's good to have a dumb part of your team. But he's also competent.

It works out for him. When needed. Oh, yeah. He found the Pink Panther diamond. Uh-huh. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, Jacques Clouseau. Jacques Clouseau. Peter Sellers at his best.

You're going with the Peter Sellers one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. Steve Martin, that's not even canon. Yeah, we can't even. That's not even. We don't recognize it. It was a bummer when that happened.

It was a weird move for him at the time. We don't recognize those colors over here. It was a weird move at the time. No, no. I think Beyonce was in it for some reason time. We don't recognize those colors over here, homie. It was a weird move at the time. No, no. I think Beyonce was in it for some reason. Sure, that sounds right. I think she was in it. It was fucking weird.

Yeah, man. Peter Sellers, or Pink Panther, Jacques Clouseau, super dope. Man. It was definitely on the list. And, okay, so my fifth and final pick. Sure. Oh, also, shout out to my lady friend, Bethany. She helped me pick Jacques Clouseau.

Shout out to Beth. Very nice. The rest of these were my picks, though. The rest were my picks. Hey, you got your team strong, dude. You guys probably had your jeans on. I had jeans on. Cargs on.

Team wrong. With my whites on and the lights on. Because I wear a carg sometimes and it's wrong. Where is she? Where is she? Yeah. Wow. I give it low.

Okay. Pull up in a bad moment, Lord. Here's my fifth pick, because honestly, this is how it happens. Sometimes you just got to get drunk to figure shit out. Word. Calm down, Sean. Okay, all right. Go get chavvy, dude. Here, so what I'm saying, sometimes shit out. Word. Calm down, Sean. Okay, all right. Let's go get chavvy, dude.

Here, so what I'm saying, sometimes you gotta get drunk, shotgun approach. See what sticks. Okay. You know what I'm talking about? Bro, okay. Jameson in the squad car. Who cares? Gadget's driving.

Nice. I am picking McNulty from the wire. Oh, yeah, dude. You got your drunk. So you've got your drunk. You need a drunk. You need a drunk. I like it.

Yeah. You need a drunk. McNulty from the wire to close it out. It's a good pick. Which is also, by the way, just to say, my last pick was going to be me. Oh. Really? Why not?

When I read Choose Your Own Adventure novels. Oh. You feel like you get that pretty quick? I feel like I was always picking my own alternate endings to the alternate endings. Yeah. I also cheated, though, in those books. Well, no, I can still take you. I would just read them from cover.

I was going to maybe go with bunk for one of mine. That understands you. From the wire. Man, you need a cigar. It's good to have a cigar guy. And he's a really high-functioning alcoholic, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I already, my drunk is-

I get so motivated when I see a high funk because I'm like, okay. It could be drunk. So it's like, no, please do it. Oh, you can have a hard time. You can only change the game in Baltimore. Oscar Wilde drank. What? But yeah,

McNulty from the wire. That's my last pick. Fantastic. Yeah, I feel good about it. Alice Wetterlin. Alright, so you're okay, influenced me a lot with your point that you need to have a little fun in your... Me too. So, okay, I...

This was a tough one, but I think I'm going to go with my fifth pick, rounding out the squad with a little bit of sardonic wit and humor. Maybe a little more small time, but I think she's going to be a great addition. I'm going to go with Veronica Mars. Oh, yeah.

That show was great. If I had to be me, I'd never seen that show, but she definitely would have been on the list. There's going to be a lot of room for jimming the camera here because there's going to be, Lisbeth Slander is going to constantly

be saying weird shit to people all the time, really dark shit. Jane Tennyson just is going to constantly be saying weird shit to people all the time. Really dark shit. Jane Tennyson just is going to be so grumpy and drunk. And Carrie, you never know whether or not she's going to be like screaming at somebody because she's manic or because she's like right about something that nobody else can understand. Or cry face. So I feel like Veronica, Cindy Jameis, Veronica is going to be like, you know, like, what's with her? I need somebody to constantly say. She mellows the whole thing out.

Yeah. It's strong coffee, but some cream. Her and Sydney are hanging out by the coffee machine, just being like, what the hell? She doesn't break the fourth wall. Nudges it, though. Yeah, yeah. I feel that. She does.

She's just checking for the studs. What is this? Wow. Making sure it's not loose sheetrock. Wow. I'd also like to point out, and I had another pick, but not on my squad. Catherine Kaywood, and nobody else is going to get this, but Catherine Kaywood from Happy Valley,

which is James Norton's other show that he was in where he was even hotter. So this is just British detective porn if you want it. It's out there. It's incredible. Happy Valley is on Netflix. It's so amazing. Go get it. Sure.

Veronica Bars would be a decent rap name. You got Veronica Bars. Yo, my daddy's also the crime. I got a big camera by my side. I got a snap and a pick. Everybody likes my dick. Veronica Mars. Mars.

Mars. Mars. Get on my dick, Veronica. I got a camera by my side. Veronica Mars. Veronica Bars. I got a camera on my side. Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars. There she is. Kirsten Bell?

Kristen Bell? Kristen Bell. Kristen Bell. Yeah. Early. Early. Yeah. Early.

That was like one of the first things she did, right? I never saw Veronica Mars either, but the internet loved it so much that I felt like I should watch it. It was on UPN, right? They made a movie, right? Didn't they start like a Kickstarter of sorts and like make a movie? It was great like I should watch it. It was on UPN, right? They made a movie. Didn't they start the Kickstarter of sorts and make a movie? It was great and kind of resolved it. Yeah, it was pretty good.

But there was one of those shows where they would just randomly end a show in the middle of it telling its story arc. And it was really dumb. They did that with Deadwood, too. Yeah, they did it with Deadwood. What the fuck are you doing? But they're bringing Deadwood back. Are they really? I think so, yeah.

South Dakota. Thank God. On the map. I don't like that. Oh, too. Yeah. They did it with Deadwood. What the fuck are you doing? But they're bringing Deadwood back. Are they really? I think so, yeah. South Dakota. Thank God. On the map. I'm saying. I don't like that. Oh, okay. Portlandia is still on the air. I love it.

Don't sweat it. Huh? Portlandia is still on the air. What? You still got your... It is. What? It is.

It is? What? Oh, good. Another one of my ex-girlfriends. Who? Thanks for bringing that up. Portlandia. The television show Portlandia.

Carrie Brownstein? Carrie Brownstein. You guys dated? We did. I didn't know that. No, we didn't actually. Ian ended it. One of the show's producers.

Okay. Also named Alice. Shut up. What? It was me. What? It was Alice. And this is the first time we've spoken since then.

We have a sugar. Dancing around it. It's been. All episode. It's been going well. It's then. Dancing around it. It's been. All episode. We've been. It's been going well. It's been. It's been.

It's been. That's why we broke up was competing bare naked ladies impressions. That's common though. Oh yeah. That's big. Number three. Oh. Okay.

Keep going. I have another. What? Sorry. I just. Things occur to me sometimes. And you know. You remember this from when we dated.

Okay. Yeah. I do remember that. Hey. Do me and Sean need to. I just, things occur to me sometimes. And, you know, you remember this from when we dated. Okay. Yeah, I do remember that. Hey, do me and Sean need to. I remember that. This is just like when you dated. I remember that. I'm a little picky chavvy over here. Uncomfortable silence.

Oh, seven all over again, right? Showing up at John and Vinny's at seven. Waiting for an hour for you. Well, I had to go get a flat white. What was the name for the flat white? Sword.

Yeah. Of course. Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars. Time for my final pick. What's here? Nice. I'm taking somebody

because I have Sherlock Holmes who is going to go off on his own and I feel like the only force he will bow to is sort of a matronly I'm taking somebody, because I have Sherlock Holmes, who is going to go off on his own. And I feel like the only force he will bow to is sort of a matronly, vaguely British force. There you go. That's why I'm taking Jessica Fletcher. Oh, okay.

Mother, she wrote. Very good. Mother, she wrote. That was on there for a long time. That was on the book for a long time. Mother, she wrote. I was on a plane with her once. With Angela Lansbury? Yeah, me and Dulce. God, you know that plane's not crashing. God wouldn't do that. I Lansbury? Yeah, me and Dulce.

God, you know that plane's not crashing. God wouldn't do that. Yeah, I was here to New York. Me and Dulce. I didn't even know. And then we got back, because you've got to walk through the business classroom. Sure. And we got back to where we sit, and Dulce was like, that was Angela Lansbury.

And I was like, I'm high as hell. Because we were flying to New York. It was a long flight. Tale as old as time. That's right. I think he would listen to her. I think he would. Oh, of course.

I think Jessica Fletcher, he'd be like, yes, mom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she would comment down. Especially the Benedict Cumberbatch version. That's true. Oh, Benedict. Super listen to Jessica Fletcher.

Batman would take his mask off for her. Yeah. Hi. I'm Bruce. I did the dishes. Fuck it, mask off. Yeah, Murder, She Wrote, Jessica Fletcher. Yep.

Based in Maine, but traveled all over the country solving mysteries through the power of deduction and just connections to local police forces all over the place. Yeah. So someone on the inside. Yeah. And she's lived. I like that you have an older person on your squad. Oh, yeah.

You need that older voice, the one who's lived. Yes. Yep. Experience. Yep. Got to have somebody in there just to fucking tell the wrangle in the youngsters. Yeah. You know?

Chantel Jordan, time for your final pick. Well, it's going to be different, but I like David's idea of having the drunk. You need just that kind of loose cannon. Oh, you like my... I like David's... I would never try to live this life. It's all me. David, you know, sullied my last pick, but I'm going to pick...

Sean really likes to drink. Oh, okay. Big fan of the creature, as it were. I'm going to pick Eddie Valiant from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Oh! Eddie! He dropped a piano on my brother! Yeah. I think Eddie Valiant, he's all heart.

I like a dude that's called Hort. This is a classic Sean pick because did you know that in that movie the cartoons were actually black people? Oh! Well, now I need to re-watch it. Secretly woke. Oh, you mean the Paula Abdul video? Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two steps forward, I take two steps back. That video? Oh! Jesus Christ, Sean. You laugh. Eddie Valiant. Eddie Valiant.

Bobby Downtown Hoskins. I feel like you only picked kids' shows. Is that right? I'm very immature. Eddie Valiant. Bobby Downtown Hoskins. I feel like you only picked kids shows. Is that right? I'm very immature. No, your first. Okay. Not quite. The first one isn't.

But pretty close. Okay. Yeah, it's up there. Yeah, I'm a fun-haver. Yeah, well, you have a fun squad. Yeah. It's a fun squad. Yeah, we got a fun squad.

Training day and a fucking kid show. Eddie Valiant, he's a private dick, right? He's a private dick. He's a private dick. Private dick Eddie Valley, he's a private dick, right? He's a private dick. He's a private dick. Private dick. Tell you what's not private is that whiskey habit of his. I like it. Carrie Matheson thinking about Carrie Matheson talking about your squad.

Like, they've got floating fries. You kidding me? They've got floating fries. Our squad's upset about it, but they all accept it. Eddie just thinks he's drunk the whole time. So I don't know what's... Those can't be floating fries. It's got to be Jim from Internal Affairs.

Eddie Valiant, he's from Toontown, right? He's seen it all. Yeah, he has seen it. Floating fries is nothing to him. That is nothing to him. A toon dropped a piano on his brother. That is some conflict that I wasn't ready for, because now Eddie's mad at Frylock the whole time, because as you says, a toon dropped a piano on his brother.

I mean, he was mad at Roger the whole time too. He still does his job. That's why you gotta respect him. As you says, you are becoming a chav. Because as you says. As you says, bro.

Right. Because as you says. Have you guys noticed like with chavs like, but the streets, the rapper, you know? Right. He's not a great rapper.

Let's push. All he does is he like talks rather slow. Like the beats come in and it's like, streets the rapper you know right like he's not a great rapper that's all he does is he like talks rather slow like the beats come in and it's like it's like a normal rap but he's like yo and then he has like 20 minutes to think of the next rhyme it's like yo go slow but then i feel like i don't know twisting mixing walking down nope it happens to be there yeah he's rapping as well but the two have nothing to do with each other

I'm always just trying to push Lady Sovereign onto people really hard yo bruv you need to check out Lady Sovereign bruv you need to get trainers out your ass bruv

check out Lady Sovereign she's I've tried to jump into British rap and even like people are like you've got all this Stormzy

oh man they push Stormzy so hard they push Stormzy so hard I can't listen to Stormzy. Oh, man. They push Stormzy so hard. They push Stormzy so hard. I can't do it. Stormzy. Stormzy Daniels. Stormzy Daniels.

Stormzy Zanzles. Drump. Stormzy Zanzles. It sounds annoying already. It is. It's mostly annoying. Dizzy Rascal has a couple. I can do Dizzy Rascal a little bit, but that's about the rest.

I just can't. Yeah, and nobody's going to only listen to Dizzy Rascal. I don't really like that. What if you dated somebody and you found out, like, but that's about, the rest I just can't. Yeah, nobody's gonna only listen to Dizzy Rascal. I don't really like that. What if you dated somebody and you found out like, in my like a third month, you're like, wait,

do you only listen to Dizzy Rascal? Oh shit. They've got a CD wallet still. This is a deal breaker. This is a deal breaker. It's got one Dizzy Rascal, da boy in da corner.

So yeah, Eddie Valiant. The final pick, Eddie Valiant, excellent pick. Okay, so that wraps up the draft. Wraps it up.

To recap, David, you went first. You took Temperance Bones Brennan, John Shaft, Gadget from Chippendale Rescue Rangers, Inspector Jacques Clouseau, and McNulty from The Wire. Isn't that the best way he does the whole recap? Alice, you went second. Wait, wait, wait. So it would Shaft... Oh, I guess I shouldn't interrupt.

No, interrupt. No, no, no. Shaft, he tried to fuck Gadget. Shaft doesn't try to fuck would Shaft. Oh, I guess I shouldn't interrupt. No, interrupt. No, no, no. Shaft, would he try to fuck Gadget? Shaft doesn't try to fuck. Shaft fucks. Is Gadget a child? No, she's an adult. She's a woman.

So he would like definitely fuck Gadget. I think that it happened once and then there was some will they or won't they tension. And then they just like. No. Because Gadget, she's not about that. Like Shaft, she wants a life. You know what I she's not about that like Shaft's she wants a life you know what I mean Shaq's running in these streets Shaft is running

Shaq also Shaq's probably running out there too I think Shaft and Bones are hooking up I think I think on the DL and I think they both love it oh yeah like they love the situation they have yeah for sure if Gadget's hooking up with anyone it's like leaving McNulty's shitty apartment.

Mad at herself because she can do so much better. Just slam, clean your shit up, McNulty. You know, she's like buttoning her shirt up, like, Jesus Christ. She just looks back and he's- Every time she's like, I fucking said never again. God damn it. Yeah!

She's like, look, she's like putting all her different like watches on and stuff, and then she like looks up to her in the mirror and she's like-, putting all her different, like, watches on and stuff. And then she, like, looks up to her in the mirror and she's like. Ugh. Come on, Dad. She sees him, like, pajama pants, drinking milk out of a carton. Yeah.

Yeah. You're worth more than this. You never take me anywhere. Yeah. We went to Papa's. So I'll see you next time. There isn't going to be a next time, McNulty. Yeah, there is.

I'll see you. That's what you always say. I can't going to be a next time, McNulty. Yeah, there is. I'll see you. That's Joe is saying. I can barely do an American accent. Baltimore. True as fuck. Baltimore. Baltimore. Baltimore.

Baltimore. Baltimore. Shout out Ryan Seckler. Baltimore. Baltimore. Alice, you want a second? You took Carrie Matheson, Jane Tennyson, Lizbeth Salander, Sidney Chambers, and Veronica Mars. I said team strong.

Team strong. strong jeans on I went third so angry they're all angry team it is it's no fun but whatever

and Veronica Mars yeah it's true she's not happy I wonder if she gets pulled down into it I took Batman Fox Mulder Dana Scully

Sherlock Holmes and Jessica Fletcher hell yeah Sean you went last you took Alonzo Harris Detective Som Somerset, Frylock, Marge Gunderson, and Eddie Valiant. Man, that's a weird crew. Can I just say it? We left some good ones on the board.

Ace Ventura. Darkwing Duck. Sure. Ventura. The Goonies, I was going to try, but David got foiled, so I couldn't. Nancy Drew. Hercule Poirot. I was going to put Cadph David got foiled, so I couldn't. Nancy Drew. Hercule Poirot. I was going to pick Catfile.

You guys ever heard of that? Who? Sir Derek Jacoby. It's a BBC show where he was a monk who solved crimes. Oh, dope, though. I watched a lot of weird shit as a kid. Bosh. Anybody have Bosh head?

Bosh. I've heard good things about Bosh. I haven't seen it. Bosh sucks. What about Healy from Something About Mary? Matt Dillon's character? Or Matt, whatever his name is. I don't know if I want him on the case.

He was funny. I thought it was like, that guy was a detective. I had Keith Sweat from the Nobody video. I was trying to think of like an R. Kelly or something like that. Damn, that's funny. That's so, why didn't you take that? Keith Sweat. Oh man, that's tight.

I almost took Goran from Law and Order Criminal Intent. Yeah, sure. That's a funny. That's so, why didn't you take that? He's wet. Oh, man, that's tight. I almost took Goran from Law and Order Criminal Intent. Yeah, sure. That's a good one. I had McGruff the crime dog. Oh, that is a good one, too. You gotta have a dog. But you already have a rodent. Yeah, and that's a-

I was thinking Bud White from L.A. Confidential, obviously. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then it was like between him and Guy Pearce's character, which also is good. Yes. You know, because that came up a lot today in my searches, and I was like, that's a good fucking movie. It's so good. I watch it every year. Wait, you said it's your favorite movie, right?

It's my favorite movie. Hell yeah. Also, the Riverdale crew. Yeah. All the teens in Riverdale, but none of them are technically detectives. I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. Yeah.

But, yeah. Kevin Bacon from Mystic River was going to get picked. Sean is his name. Dick Tracy? Yeah, Dick Tracy. Popeye Doyle? Columbo? Inspector Gadget?

Yeah, Dick Tracy. Columbo didn't get picked. No. Yeah, I had Tracy too, yeah, yeah, yeah. Inspector Gadget, Austin Powers. Thelma from Scooby-Doo? Thelma. Harriet the Spy.

Oh, Harriet the Spy. She's but a child. What a good goddamn topic. I kept thinking she was somebody else. Michelle Trachtenberg. Encyclopedia Brown. Encyclopedia Brown. Yeah. And then Cam Anderson? She was the girl

who had photographic memory? No, it was Scott Brown. Oh, the Hardy Boys? The Hardy Boys? Yeah, the Hardy Boys. Inspector Gadget! Inspector Gadget! For sure. That was my favorite show when I was a kid. He was the first thing that popped in my head when I got this text was Inspector Gadget. My two favorite shows when I was a kid were both detective shows, Inspector Gadget and

Dragnet. Fuck. Oh, yeah. I wish I'd chosen differently because I would love to see Carrie Matheson and Inspector Gadget. Like how irritated Carrie would be. She'd have to be his like bipolar penny.

That was fantastic. That was so fun. That was a great draft. That was a really good topic. We all feel very high for some reason. I laugh so much. Laughing a lot. I'm going to eat some Taco Bell. Yuck. That's right. Why not? We don't have to talk about this on. Some people behind the veil're gonna be behind the veil

yeah behind the veil we're doing exactly what you think we're doing it's what happens in front of the veil too we were talking we saw a bunch of YouTube videos

the other day where this dude drank a whole thing of like creatine or weight gain or whatever yeah what yeah we were talking about calling everything

the challenge though like how those food people, like, oh, babe, I gotta go take the Taco Bell challenge. And just, see you got some popsicles. Took the popsicle challenge

before I even went to bed last night. How's nine of them? Wow, with the freezer open, standing in front of it? So I'm gonna go take that Taco Bell challenge after this.

We're gonna take the shout out to everyone on Twitter challenge right now. Shout out to everyone on Instagram. So dope. These were our picks.

We want to make sure we get yours. So add us all at all fantasy pod on Twitter. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. If you want to email us

all fantasy podcast at gmail.com. Yep. Shout out to everyone on the subreddit holding us down. Shout out to everyone on Twitter, Instagram.

Shout out to super producer Marissa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And just we love it. Please keep sending us messages. Shout out to super producer Marissa. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And we love it. Please keep sending us messages. We try to respond to everything we can.

Sean actually does. Yeah, I will. David and I do to varying degrees of success. An email will not go unanswered sent to that Gmail as long as I have. Have you been checking it? Do you know how many people listen every week? As long as I can fit it into any schedule that I have,

they'll all get answers. Sean's about to reply to 50,000 emails. Yeah, Sean thinks 30 people listen to this. I'd love to. Keep emailing. Make sure you listen to Trek in the City. Yeah. Trek.

Trek in the City. My bad, my bad, my bad. Because it rhymes that way. This is a different podcast, actually, that we started. Oh, what? That's right. No, no, no, no. Suck it, bro.

Just about walking around. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, there is. We don't have Treks in the City on Instagram or Twitter because both those handles are taken by some woman who has a blog about just walking around.

Really? Oh, those kind of treks. She never posts anything. It's like she has abandoned them long ago But we can't get them Shreks in the city is available Just throw them in out there No it isn't

That's what I'm saying Shreks in the city is it? Oh Shreks You're not listening to women I'm just kidding Breakfast cereal Instagram account Corn checks in the city Time to wrap the podcast up listening to women. I'm just kidding. That breakfast cereal Instagram account, corn checks in the city. Here we go.

Time to wrap it up. Time to wrap the podcast up on a sour note. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate you, but more important

than anything, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. Shakakaty! There it is. Shaklak in the city. Ha ha! that was a hate gun podcast