All Fantasy Everything - Fictional Moments You Would Want To See In Person (w/ Aaron Edwards, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: March 5, 2020

Another week, another bunch of good vibes! The GVG is joined by Aaron Edwards as we draft "Fictional Moments You Would Want To See In Person!" Gas up the DeLorean and strap in tight because this one was quite the giggle fest! Texas! All Fantasy Everything is coming to you live April 9-11 in Dallas, Houston and Austin. Get tickets at headgum.com/live.Episode Guest:Aaron Edwards @ayroned_ IG: @ayronedSupport the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Merch:T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. What's up, all family and everything? By now, I'm sure you've heard that the AFE boys are going on a little mini tour of Texas. Tickets are available now. Make sure you cop them. The tour is in April. It starts on April 9th in Dallas, Texas at the Sons of Herman Hall. And then we drive our pretty asses to Houston, Texas on the 10th for a show at the Secret Group.

H-Town. H-Town. Russell Westbrook. James Harden. Bowling. Especially PJ Tucker. You're on the list. Just in case you hear this, you're on the list.

Also Slim Thug. Anyone involved with Southside. Wall Wall. Southside Skate Park on the list. On the list. Skateboarding. Skateboarding. Skateboard stuff. The one Jewish guy on the Astros. You're on the list. On the list. Skateboarding. Skateboard stuff.

The one Jewish guy on the Astros. You're on the list. And then after that, we are heading to Austin, Texas on April 11th for a show at the parish. And I can't stress this enough. Tickets are going very quickly for that. So you're going to make sure you grab them. If any of you want to go to all three with us,

you know, tour along. We'll fucking... What should we call our Grateful Deadheads? We need to come up with a name for the Grateful Deadheads. We need our Deadheads. The Grateful Gads, dude. We'll name it after you. We'll name it after Rebecca Gads. We'll come back.

We've got a whiteboard. We've got some markers and we're going to work it out. If you have any suggestions for it, hit us up. But more importantly than that, please copy your tickets to the AFE Texas Tour poster. Forthcoming. Merch. Forthcoming. Merth. Forthcoming.

Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast is either reasonable or screaming. It's one or the other and there is no in between. Everyone's in their car just like, uh-huh. Nary a betwixt. Nary a betwixt.

Nary a betwixt. I didn't think I was going to like Twix with berries in them, but then they came out with those. It's good, man. It's good because you like some sweets with your sweets? Cookies and cream is back. Fruit meats? Cookies and cream Twix are back. Oh, are they gone? Yeah. Oh, Twix. Cookies and cream Twix are back. Oh, are they gone? Yeah.

Oh, Twix. Cookies and Cream Twix? I haven't. I was thinking of a- I saw Twix Milk and Circle K earlier. That was weird. I had Twix Milk and Snickers Milk, and they're both terrible, by the way.

Oh, yeah. Just in case you thought they weren't going to be. They're terrible. I like that they got you for both. I like that you tried Snickers Milk, and you were like, no, what? No.

Of course I'm going to try it. The man is a sommelier's palate. He's not going to try one of them. He's a milk sommelier. He's a milk sommelier. No hundred grand in here? They used to call me milk sommelier at prep school. I never knew why.

That was for a different reason. I'm getting that. Celery milk, just some prep school. I never knew why. That was for a different reason. I'm getting that. Celery milk, just some weird milks. Oat milks. I fucked with an oat milk dirty chai latte the other day. That'll get you there. Did you hear Hall came out and said he has had sex with thousands of women? Yeah, dude.

Is that a surprise when your mom like oats? Is that a surprise? Of course, Daryl Hall fucked a lot. Have you? No, my mom really likes Hall. Oh, she likes Hall? Did she cheat on my stepdad with Hall?

Is she on that list? Maybe your dad is Hall. No, my dad is passed on. That's true. My bad, my bad, my bad. I always think of Hall and Oates like an Equemini situation. Yeah.

Like the player and the poet. Yeah. You know what I mean? You think of Oates and Equemini come up in the same thought in your head? Yeah, often.

Oh, first of all, shout out. So this is an embarrassing thing. I get a lot of DMs. Nobody's surprised. What a flex. Nobody's surprised. My man's verified.

That's how it goes down. It's a blue check mark, baby. Some member of the all family is a coach at Louisiana State University. Dog. On the football team. I went through my DMs to try to find you again. We follow each other, and I'm so sorry that I'm blowing it right now, but we got

a box of LSU gear. David Borey is kitted out right now. I gotta take a picture for when you... Hold on, let me get the drip on. David's looking like a booster right now. I'm draped up and dripped out. I'm a friend of the program. He's a friend of the program. I was saying I'm gonna be on the fucking

plane and somebody's gonna be like, what do you do? I'm gonna be like, well, I thought I was going pro. I got a purple Range Rover. That's what other kids do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, whoa, what does that mean, really? I teach them about their finances.

A lot of these kids get to the league, they don't know what to do with money. Yeah. They never had money. They're from single parent homes, low income families. You know what I mean? That's why I stayed. I went all five years. I got my degree.

If you don't get you from your house to practice, a Honda. Yeah. For the first year, a Honda will get you there. Reasonable. Yeah. You don't need a 3M. You don't need the Bentley truck. You don't need the Bentley for your average.

You play for the bills, dog. All right? Just having a car already puts you in an operational line. I don't have a car. You grew up riding the bus, homie. Yeah, so we are now fucking national champion Louisiana State University football team

dripped out on it. Whoever you are, please identify yourself again. I'm so sorry I blew it, but we got the gear. We fucking love it. We're LSU fans now. We're LSU fans now.

I said it. You recognize it? Also, if we're down there and we're touring, we're coming. We can get in the game. Come on.

To the eye of the tiger? Let's get in there. Let's get in the game. Come on. To the eye of the tiger. Let's get in there. Let's get in there. Oh, my God. To the bayou. Oh, my God. I want to ride all the big boys. I'm going to spell so many things with E-A-U-X.

You're going to blow your mind. I'm just going to be yelling pancake. Yeah, dude. Shit like that. I'm going to get my orgeron on if we're down there. Get on in there. Get on up. Get the middle boy down in the pit now.

I'm going to tell him to trap. Trap. Hang up. Oh, now. Hand on the swivel. Get on up. Get the middle boy down there. Get up here now. I'm going to tell him to trap. Trap. Hang up. All that hair on swivel. Get your hair on swivel. Get your hair on swivel. Yeah, low man win that. That ain't changing a whole hundred years of football, low man win.

One more time. That ain't changing a hundred years of football, low man win. Swivel. Go there, guy. Keep your hair on swivel. Can I tell you, by the way, I've been watching Swap People. Yeah. That show is good.

What, like outside of your blinds? It's so... Yo, he said that one... Because you know how it works, right, Swamp People? No. There's one guy. They put meat on the hooks. The gator takes the meat off the hooks.

So now the gator's hooked. There's one guy who pulls up, who pulls on the line. And then another guy takes a gun and shoots the gator in the kill spot right and they say crazy shit when they're wrestling he's like oh that's a big alligator and then at one point this guy said sing him that sweet song Kill him? That's his shot? They just shot the alligator in the head? That's some ballin' ass shit to say before you shoot an alligator. Sing him that sweet song, Troy. Sing him that sweet song, Troy. How's that not from a John Singleton movie?

That's amazing. It's like, swamp people, and the guy's like, and the way he talks, he's just like, there's many alligators in this bayou, and I just, I just tried to say it, because the children be swimming. There's children swimming. Children, children be swimming. They look, they don't see that alligator. They turn around

two feet away. Alligator took his arm to the death row. It's like, so shout out to Troy on Swampy. I'll show you some clips after this. Shout out to Popping Gators for no reason. Sing him that sweet song. Sing him that sweet song, Troy.

You have to understand, while he said that, he was wrestling a gator. Like he had a gator on the hook in his arms. Sing him that sweet song, Troy. Yeah, that show was great. The problems of mind. Yeah, so anyways. If I was to wrestle again, I'd be like,

kill it. Kill it, please, kill it. Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. I feel like Steve Irwin was never out of breath when he was like wrestling game. I mean, that's the best cardio there is. It's gotta be up there. They told you that the body learned that.

Why do you think all these buff guys are from LSU? Yeah. That's how you win a national championship. You bring a gator to the first day of practice every day, don't you? Yeah. Oh man. Like people know a lot of people want to get older and run a half marathon. Yeah. I want to go three rounds with a gator to the first day of practice every day, don't you? Yeah. Oh, man. Let people know.

A lot of people want to get older and run a half marathon. Yeah. I want to go three rounds with a gator. The gator made the team. Who's going to take a spot? That's how you get that scholarship. The gator's grandfathered in. So if you guys want that spot on the O-line, go ahead and take it from the gator.

Sing him that sweet song. Go ahead and take it from the gator, bud. Man. Tight shit shit I like it Not only are we here Is that the part of the podcast? Not yet It's that kind of podcast We gotta do the intro

I was going back trying to find If I could find this guy's name Because it's just so cool to get sent a box Full of fucking LSU gear This is some blue chips. It's so cool. Also, if anybody's listening, you know, I think a white blue chip athlete like myself deserves a little something extra. So I just $10,000 cash.

I see you have these duffel bags. Somebody DM me 10 grand the other night. Why can't I find this guy? He's not real. I think you just bought David all this LSU gear and you're trying to cover it up. That kind of podcast. My man looks good in purple.

I'm just trying to facilitate that. Like I said, I've been trying to figure out a way to get in the perp game. You're in the perp game. Oh, you've been in the perp game for a long time. Yeah, I've been in the perp game, but I'm, you know. Trying to get in the purple game. I was going to say, in Houston,

you better get in the perp game. I did last time I was in Houston. Oh my goodness it's already i'm already too sleepy i can't get in that's not a drug for me i am very slow i can fall asleep i was like i was uh i was laying in bed with a person my man and like i was trying not to fall asleep because i snore you know what i mean you always want to let the other person fall asleep first. And I was like, no problem. I'll stay up. That's cool. You fall asleep first. I'm good actually. And then just laying there, I was like, I'm good.

And then immediately I could fall asleep in like eight seconds. It's weird. David fell asleep while we were recording one time. Yeah. I've been snoring as of late. And I asked the doctor, I was like,

is there, I don't know, anything like that we can do about it? Yeah. Laura's like, yeah, sometimes I'll just like elbow him. And the doctor's like,

how does that stop snoring? It's like wakes me up. Yeah. Like he was like, oh, it sounds like a position thing. I'm like, no,

it's just some contact. Oh shit. She falls asleep. And then you fall back asleep yeah yeah i like i shake the house when i snore so i'm like like i have to stay up before the person just like yeah i'm like this is embarrassing it's the only chance they have to you're like i want you to have a good day yeah i'll go sleep in the other room i don't know i'll go sleep on the floor i was like i will go into the other bed which makes more sense all the floor I will go into the other bed which makes more sense all the time I really don't mind

I know you want to go to bed but I'm like they also sometimes don't want to wake you up they're like oh it feels rude I was like I don't do anything I do stuff but I don't care I was like wake me up and I can sleep during the day

if I want to at some point. It's not a huge issue, you know? See, see, see. Anyway, there's an Emmy over there. See that? Oh, yeah, finally get to see it. There she is. I don't have to polish her up soon.

A midsection. I spit on it all the time. Good. Like that, I want to fight one of those. What does it do? Every time I walk by, it flexes on me and I run out. It just holds that weird glove up like it always has. Aaron Edwards in the Fortress of Solid Dudes today.

What's up? At A-Y-R-O-N-E-D underscore. A-R-O-N-E-D underscore. I can say that. In the Fortress of Solid Dudes wearing a Jason Williams, Jason Williams, Memphis, Grizzly Jersey, white chocolate, baby. Oh, my God, man. I have to bring it back.

What a time. What a time. There hasn't been a white chocolate in years. NBA champion Jason Williams. We can call him that. Yeah. That's crazy. There has not been a white chocolate in a while.

Remember when there was a while where there was always a white chocolate? We were just trying to make one after Jason Williams. What was his name? Van Horn? Keith Van Horn? He was a white chocolate guy. He was from Utah or some shit. I don't think he could be a white chocolate from Utah.

I have a question that nobody's ever answered for me for real. Nine inches. Is Mike Bibby a white chocolate? No. ever answered for me for real nine inches is mike bibby a white chocolate no i i'm friends with his family and you're friends with mike bibby's family yes he got us our shoes for basketball in seventh eighth grade mike bibby yes is this pre or post team dime this is uh in the team dime Who knows, but Bibby did it. This is when they were getting beat by the Lakers. This was around that time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, Mike Bibby, cool dude. I mean, he was the basketball coach out there. No, that's not what I'm asking, though. He is. He's so buff. Wow. He looks like a junkyard dog.

Something's wrong. He has white chocolate tendencies, but he grew up like a rich kid. But no, that's not my question either. Is Mike Bibby a white person? He's not. No, his mom is South African. Okay, you're not answering my question. That is still murky water.

It's pretty white down there. Is Mike Bibby a white person? I want to say yes. I think he's like Puerto Rican. Can we go with Puerto Rican? That's what I always say when they're with Puerto Rican? He's not really a Puerto Rican name, though, so I'm not sure. I don't know what he is. Is his mom a white South African?

That's what I'm saying. South Africa. She kind of looks Spanish. Like South Africa does get mercury. There's a lot of shit going on down there. His dad isn't white either. I think his dad's not white. No, his dad's like a famous basketball coach. He was like the coach at USC for a bit.

Henry, yeah. His dad looks like him. Yeah. Okay, that doesn't answer... To answer this question, and it's weird that I'm going to have to say it. He's like, we have to do Mike maybe 23 and B now. He's a cup of coffee

that is mostly cream. But make no mistake, it He's a cup of coffee that is mostly cream. But make no mistake, it's still a cup of coffee. It only takes one drop. You know what I mean? It only takes one spoonful of chocolate to turn the whole glass of milk.

I think he's... He's an inkblot in a bowl of milk. You know? That felt racist. Yeah. Really? I didn't like that one.

It's from the program. He says it in the program. That racist movie is a racist program is damn. I mean, Latimer's crazier than anyone. He sure is place at the table. The one dude on the team couldn't read

and he happened to be the black dude. So she's going to never a white dude who can't read movies. There's one in real dude who can't read movies. There's one in real life. But there is one on podcast. Somebody sent me an email. Bless your heart, by the way. But somebody sent me an email the other day.

They think that I am dyslexic because I can't read. And I was like, I just I think it's laziness. I think I think it's me never really having read. It's not that I can read. I can read. I just don't read a lot. You just choose to not read the Netflix show you're about to a lot. He just chooses to not. You can read the description of the Netflix show you're about to put on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Totally. Narcos. And what do you have coming up? Anything you want to, this is going to come out this Thursday, right? Yeah, next Thursday. Next Thursday. Next Thursday. I'm going to have stand-up live in Phoenix the middle of March.

I got a show at 10 p.m. prom at the end of March. just come out to phoenix i'll be in phoenix the next weekend oh shit yeah i'll see you there day matthews band dude taking ivan carmel i don't care that's a black band yeah a little bit right i mean it's mostly black people it's mostly black people in that band david south africa i was gonna say it's from south Africa. I also didn't know that he's scattered. Oh, yeah. I'm going to have to be on some mushrooms. I don't know how it's all going to go for me. It'll be fine.

I'll be there with my dad and my little sister. It's going to be wonderful. Portugal the Man's playing. Shout out to the boys. I'd love to see DMV. I would. It's going to be fun. Dr. Dog is playing. I think Weezer's going to be there. It's love to see DMV. I would. Yeah, no, it's going to be fun. Dr. Dog is playing. I think Weezer is going to be there. It's going to be a great time. Hopefully somebody plays Centerfield.

You know that song? Who's that by John Fogerty? Put me in coach. I'm ready to play today. Is there a wider song? I've never heard that song. This reminds me

back to the reading thing. I don't know if I've ever told you guys. Did you ever have a class called reading in school? Yeah. Okay, because these two look at me like I'm fucking crazy when I bring it up. Because we both from the ghetto. I was. Damn, son.

I was English. I was failing. I was failing reading, if you can believe that. And I told my teacher, I was like, what if I memorize Casey at the bat and recite it in front of the... And he goes, you do that, I'll give you a D. So I did it. I memorized Casey at the bat.

Threw some Ds on it. There was some joy in Mudville that day. There was some joy in Mudville that day. Failing reading. No wonder people think I'm a dipshit. I just said I was failing reading class. You never heard center field? Pull me in, coach.

I'm ready to play. You never heard that? Today. Look at me. I could be center field. I feel nothing. It is a white sun. We will be blasting as we drive through Texas. Yeah, we're going to have to.

In the minivan. Nick Nampay, not in the room, not on the podcast, not in the state right now, says he might come. I'm excited. We're going to get a minivan? Yeah, dude. We're going to get a minivan. Big minivan.

I like minivans on tour. David Borey, also on the podcast today. The G's on Twitter. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Yes. Anything you can direct people towards? At this point, obviously come to Faded on Friday. Come to the AFV tour.

I'm going to be in Austin for South by Southwest. Also. It's going to get South by Southwest in there. I like that. I like that a lot. wet in there. I like that a lot. Also, if you happen to be in Portland

323 36 I stroke down. That hit me way hard for how not funny it was. If you're going to be there 323 36 and maybe Sean Jordan's at some shows.

I don't know. Maybe somebody's going to be in town doing some stuff. And maybe he's also going to pop into shows that Sean is at. It's not me because I'll be at work at CBS that week. So just through. And I don't know where I'll be. Process of elimination. I could be anywhere.

We don't know. I mean, I'll be on the West Coast because, you know, West, West, y'all. Yeah. You know, So think about that. You really didn't say anything right there. He kind of said it. I covered. You got to talk without talking, baby. Between 3-2 and 3-6, somebody might be popping into some shows. Who knows?

Who knows? I like it. Cool. I like it. Maybe I'll be there too. Who knows? Yeah, I just said that. This fucking guy. Sean Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. God damn right dude. Boy, we're seeing some of those.

Sean saying clown posses. Every friggin where. So many people throw ICP shows at me, but keep throwing them because I'll go. Keep throwing them. If one of them works, I will go to an ICP show. I see like, the wonderful thing about this podcast

is every now and then, you know, you'll see like somebody will like when you're, or like tweet back to you and you go check out their profile or whatever. And it'll be like an artsy woman in college

whose name is like Meg Sane Clown Posse or something like that. Where her dad's like, now, God damn it, Megan. I work, all my buddies at work, they were on the Twitter, and they, what's this clown posse? Lisa Cougar.

Malarkey. Your God-given last name is Schnur, and I'd like that to be on Twitter. You're a Schnur? Your father's a Schnur, and his father's a Schnur. The Lord on High named our family the schners for a friggin' reason. All right. Meg.

Are you ashamed of being a schner? I'll stop paying for your goddamn college. Pardon my French. I sound like an F&A hold. All right. What's this clown posse bullshit? Schners have gone to Purdue since the beginning of time. Schners have been going to Purdue since before Purdue was Purdue.

You're a frigging boiler maker and I'll hear nothing else. All right. Now, Schnur do love you. I'm sorry about that. That was fun. That was really fun. Schnur, dude.

Schnur, bro. Where can people see Sean saying Clown Posse? I think I just, it's all I got to do is email back, but I think I locked in my Grawlix date.

It'll be April 25th in Denver. I'll be doing the Grawlix at I think the Bug Theater is's all I got to do is email back, but I think I locked in my Grawlix date. It'll be April 25th in Denver. I'll be doing the Grawlix at, I think the Bug Theater is where they do it now. Yeah, I think they do it at the Bug. Yeah, so that'll be sick. That shit's so. I love, I wanted to do that show. You're going to be there on Zach's birthday, dude. Yeah, I get as far away from Zach as I can on his birthday.

You got to. Dark Zach. Gotta get away from Zach. Zach's one of those people that doesn't tell people. And it's, I'm just like, let me know. Because I feel on his birthday. You got to. Dark Zach. Gotta get away from Zach. Zach's one of those people that doesn't tell people and I'm just like, let me know because I feel like a prick. That's why I put it on my calendar. Whenever I find out,

we'll find out at like midnight and I'm like, dog, I would have done more. I would have paid for the Carl's Jr. at least. I don't know.

It's just like, you know, if you see your birthday coming, Warner brother, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's right. I don't endorse that joke.

I do. I'm sorry. I got a vote with my conscience. I remember seeing that shirt at the beach and just being very impressed with the wordplay. I'm like, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the only place they sell that shirt. You can't get it unless you're next to an ocean. You can sell it. You can buy it at the beach

or you can sell it, buy it at a record store that also sells king-size papers. Yeah. Or a K-Momo. You can probably get it out of a trunk or like a T-Mobile store, but you could get it at... Yeah, yeah. Those shirts are always sold next to a Boost Mobile store. Oh, yeah. Put some minutes on your jitterbug

and Warner Brothers t-shirt. Get some Elote call today. Man, my girl's getting out of prison today. I got to load my jitterbug up with minutes, man. I'm going to talk to her the whole way back. I'm Ian Carmel. Ian Carmel on Twitter. Ian Carmel on Instagram.

Ian Carmel on Jewish Angry Birds. Have I done that before? I feel like I must have. I was going to say. And by the way, these. Yeah. Jewish Robin Hood. Jewish Robin Hood.

Oh, the investment. You're into the stocks now. Never would we play in numbers that small. Like Wall Street. Come on. Boobie. That's how they did it. Some guy came up next to me at the bar last night.

Out of nowhere. He had a suit on. He looked like he had money. He puts his phone down. He's like a bunch of bullshit, man. Been going through it. My phone died. Had to go to a burner store. Tipped him $100 cash because I roll like that. I'm like, fuck you.

He said, because I roll like that. And I don't know. People still talk like that. He goes, my phone died. And I was like, it died? Like it ran out of battery or it just stopped? And he goes, stopped working, but they pulled all the shit out of it. And I'm like it died like it ran out of battery or it just stopped and he goes stop working but they pulled all the shit out of it and I'm like I don't think it I don't I think the battery died

yeah it was it like at the bar that we were all at it was it like five o'clock or six o'clock you weren't that bar at six I was getting food okay getting food. Oh, okay. I was getting food. I was getting food.

We're all you got going on. Come to watch the Late Late Show with James Corden. Oh, yeah. Go to Fader on Fridays. Go to Fader on Fridays. Keep a lookout for Game On. Come to any... It's got to be here sooner than later, for God's sake. Put me on TV, CBS. We've filmed all late episodes. Listen to All Fantasy Everything. Come see us

on the road. I know you heard the drop earlier, but come see us in Texas. 9th of April in Dallas at the Sons of Herman Hall. 10th of April in Houston at the Secret Group. 11th of April at the Parish in Austin, Texas.

Adam Stokes. Tickets going quickly. That is all I have to promote. I just found out I have seven weeks in a row off this summer. What's going to happen? That's so sad. It's all going to happen. I think a big long tour. I have seven weeks in a row off this summer. What's going to happen? That's so sad.

It's all going to happen. I think a big long tour. I'm coming back weird, dude. That's all I know. I'm coming back weird. You're going to come back speaking Spanish. Yeah. Like that guy Arizona Ron from that biggie show.

Exclusively. Exclusively Spanish. Like really just going to be talking like old Ron like the entire time and not be able to stop it after. I might. Yeah. They're only going to carpool karaoke now. I'm going to it after. I might, yeah. They're only getting a couple karaoke down coming here though. Get up Jason Derulo.

Jason Derulo. They're gonna get Jason Derulo outside. They're gonna climb a rock wall with Jason Derulo outside a car down there. Little Harry Styles. Harry Styles going but beautiful boy down there in the Gucci pants. Oh, God.

I got coffee in my nose. David's alarm went off one time. He was asleep and his alarm went off and he just sets up. Oh, God. Like he woke up

with a gun in his mouth. He's like, what's up? You just got to stay alert, Sean. You got to. We are gathered here today not only to wear

Friends of the Program LSU booster gear, but also to fantasy draft fictional moments we wished we witnessed in person. Yeah. Excellent topic. Topic supplied by Aaron.

It is a good topic. The way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you and we throw and shoot. Here we go.

I'm shooting up. Rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you. And we throw on shoot. Here we go. I'm shooting up. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Sean wins. Wow. You Sean won. Shaboy. There it is. Sean Jordan, the winner of rock, paper, scissors, as the winner, is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft.

But before you do that, we'll remind you, this is a serpentine draft. And what is that? Great question. Say you're dancing. Oh, God. You go to one side of the dance floor and you're like, you know what I'm going to do? I got my eye on this little girl over here. Not this little girl.

I got my eye on a woman. That was insane. We're going to edit this shit out. That was a wild way for you to open it. Did not mean for that to happen. That was insane sounding. Basically what it means is you pick fourth and the first. You pick first and the second.

We just stopped. Way to save your boy, man. Yeah, I was going to dab. You do a right dab and then you do a left dab. No good was going to come from that. You see a little girl over here and you're like, you respect her. Maybe try to figure out where her parents are. It would have been good if I didn't say the first part.

Yeah. All right. I mean, it was not bad anyway. You know, we all know you pure of heart. Martin, I thought you had my back. Now you're laughing at me too. No, no. It was hilarious.

Thank you. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Aaron, David, me, Ian. All right. I like that. Set the mic down. Hot corner. Hot corner. Long, wait a minute.

Hot corner. Hot corner. Hot corner. Longer than LeBron's. Aaron, it's time for your verse pick, but before we do that, let's take a short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything

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Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy. It's spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. Yeah, we're back! Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that isn't currently being torn apart by coyotes in a junkyard behind your house. Aaron, you have the first pick

in the fictional events you wish you witnessed in person, all fantasy, everything draft. What will that first pick be? Your first pick on AFE ever. All right. With my first pick, being from Gary, Indiana, I figured I might as well go with this

and I'm going with the thriller. The dance. Oh, you want to be in it. I want to see zombie Michael Jackson dance and sing a song. Do you want to be a zombie or a man? I want to be one of the people dancing. That was one of the best dance numbers of all time.

Yeah. This fucking thing? I want to see like the werewolf part. I want to be there for all of it. So you want to start at the movies. Yeah, I want to be there for thriller. You want to smell the funk of 40,000 years. Yo.

The funk of 40,000 years. Yo, the funk of 40,000 years. And whosoever shall be found without the soul for getting down. Vincent Price is not here. The funk of 40,000 years. It's close. It is. Vincent Price.

I'm making it too British. And he's just more scurrilous than British. He's more what? Scurrilous. I don't know that word. Scurrilous. You know what it is. Vincent Price. I'm making it too British. And he's just more scurrilous than British. He's more what? Scurrilous. I don't know that word. Scurrilous. You know what it is. You can't concur. It's when you're never scurred. Scurrilous. I'm outside of the club

and you can't go above. No, I don't. Nobody said that, bro. I'm just trying to dance with my girl. He's the scariest kind of dude. Welcome to Miami. Stop your good crying. I really think you're overreacting.

I ain't never scared. I'm just going to leave, man. I'm on probation. I told you. You can have my spotlight. It's fine. I'm not in a rush. You are all going to get that new Popeye's chicken sandwich.

It's Gary's birthday. I didn't even really want to come out because I don't know. I have a tab open. I can't just go outside. Come on, man. You didn't even pay to get in here. You bum rushed the gate and saw you. Also, if I heard right, your name is Bone Crusher?

No, that's an outsider. Come on, dog. I'm 32 years old. You've been drinking fallen soldiers. Listen, bone crusher. Nobody thinks you're a punk. You're wearing a Kenny Lofton jersey. That seems weird in 2020.

The only reason you're outside of the club is because you don't have a shirt on. Put one on. Come in. It's fine. You're good. I know the door guy. You got shades on, but I know the door guy. It's cool

they're the concords basically dress shoes calm down I don't mean to tell you to calm down but for you calm down Mr. Crusher please yeah man thriller that would be fantastic

yeah I just want to get my dance on for a little bit it's a good fucking dance it would be very funny to see like, oh no, the zombies are coming and they stop all of a sudden. And then bust out like a fucking dance like that. I just want to see like somebody on the corner be like, this shit is dope. Wow.

Should I be scared of this? I don't know. I'm into it. Who directed that video? It was Guy Ritchie. It was I was going to go with it, man. Who directed that video? It was Guy Ritchie. It was Guy Ritchie. I was just going to go with it, man. We probably could have sold like 10 people who listened.

If you were to say Spielberg, I would be like, yeah, it seemed like some Spielberg shit. Well, the confidence between them. That'd be so fun to convince somebody of that, and then they just drop it at a lunch somewhere. Like, you didn't even know this, but Guy Ritchie directed Thriller. You know that? Everyone's like, what? He directed by Greta Gerwig actually. John Landis. Oh, okay.

And that's the end of that talk. John, don't ask me about my son Landis. I don't know. Thriller, that'd be fucking great Yeah so you'd want to be like in the background Doing it yeah have you ever learned the whole Thriller dance no but I get so jealous

When I see like little kids doing that shit on like YouTube and stuff and going viral I'm like god they figured this shit out easy Kids are so good at dancing It's weird when you see like a kid who's really good at dancing Yeah cause you're like what what You're not even trying to get laid with it Girl from the fucking Missy Elliot

videos. Oh, did you see her? She's all grown up now. I don't know if that means that in like a pervy way. Like a genre. Why'd you touch me when you said that? He put his hand like right over and like tried to get energy from me or something. I don't need that.

My goal is to have a great day today. Leave the boat. Leave the boat. Leave the boat. Smell like a barbaric cologne there now. Haul around the water, microphone. It took me a minute to understand what you were doing there. That was a good-ass joke.

That was a good-ass joke. Oh, man. Stay stepped out the gut with ten and a half gators. Yeah. I don't know that I'll step out the boot with ten and a half gators. Step out the gut with ten and a half gators. Oh, man. God bless them.

Hold the phone. Hold the phone. Now hold the phone there. I'll tell you three years later, I'll step out the boot with ten and a half gators. All around my feet now Yep David boy Time for your first pick This was my first thing

I thought of When I saw this draft topic I want to be there For pretty woman Big mistake That is so good Yeah Because I've been thinking

About what I would say when it happened and I said it on. Ooh, bitch. Are you like in the shot? Yeah, I'm in there. I'm like trying to buy some shit and then she storms in and I see it and as she walks out, I'm like trying to buy some shit and then she storms in and I see it and as she walks out I'm like ooh bitch like

like cause I'm being mean to the lady but then I'm also like cause that would make her feel even better like she's like I burned her and that dude was like ooh bitch it's one thing to cross someone over at the park nobody's watching it's a whole other with an audience

yeah yeah it's one thing to cross someone over at the park nobody's watching yeah it's like in like that's an appropriate time to say bitch yeah yes i think it would just i think it would only add to the situation oh my god like imagine that movie and then me in the back. If you just creep into frame. Yeah, I just look over. I got like,

I'm holding a shirt up like, I always think there's maybe even a scenario where you're in one of those like things where it has like mirrors all around you. Like,

I'm trying some shit. You're getting like, somebody's got like a tape measure on your leg. someone's measuring your leg. Oh, bitch. Exactly that. Exactly that.

Exactly that. They're not going to stop selling you that suit. They're not going to make too big a mistake. They got to give me a discount. I just saw you guys get burned. Your name is trash in these streets. I'm verified. Let me tweet what just happened.

Let me tweet how you treated that hooker with a heart of gold. Every now and then, you get such a big lead in the first quarter that it's just like, we're playing for second. That's fucking hilarious. That is sick. Ooh, bitch.

Ooh, bitch. I didn't think about how I'd react in any of these scenarios. That's all I thought about. That's awesome. Oh, yeah, you can't just be a neutral observer. No, you got to insert yourself into it. Stand up, rise up. Sean,

tell me your first pick. I want to be at the Goodfellas dinner. Oh, yeah. The funny how. The funny how. I feel like that's less of a dinner and more of a 2am at the Roost. Yeah, you've been there.

I want to be at the rabble rousing that they had in Goodfellas. The funny how. I suppose I'd just be oneble rousing that they had in Goodfellas. The funny how. And I suppose I'd just be one of the mobster dudes, like touching my tie a whole bunch. Yeah. Just sitting back like, is he serious? Is he serious? He's crazy.

We all know he's crazy. Ooh, bitch. Ooh, bitch. Ooh, bitch. I think these all could get a good ooh, bitch in there. Like he pulls a gun and I'm like, ooh, bitch. Funny like a clown. Ooh, bitch. Oh, shit. The zombies are. Are you going who bitch funny like a clown. Oh bitch. Oh shit.

Are you going to do this? Oh, they're dancing. Oh, I got it. I got to do it like a gangster like, oh, bitch, that's way different. That seems like a different man. I'm saying a lot of bad shit. I don't like it.

I was in like Rodney Dangerfield the territory now I would like to be at the Goodfellas gathering the Funny How gathering was that on your list? I thought you might have had it it wasn't on your list, okay, I thought you might have had it it's a great pick how hard Leona's laughing at the end of that scene

yeah, that is crazy It's a great pick. How hard Leona's laughing at the end of that scene. Yeah, that is crazy. And his lips are doing a weird thing. It's like that maniac laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think this is funny? He's laughing like Batman didn't stop him from poisoning the water. Like that kind of thing.

Seeing Ray Leota happy just weirds me out. It's like a weird look. He's not built for it. Stop it. No, he doesn't have happy face. He's not built for happiness. He is laughing. It makes me think that it's like kind of real where they're like, hey, just go mess around a little bit.

And like, you know, once you get your suit, should we go get drunk in suits? I wonder if that's just a different night. I've been drunk in a suit that wasn't a wedding. Yeah. So I think that'd be weird. I mean, you went in these stuff. I saw you drunk as hell in a tuxedo once. It was pretty cool.

Rat and Joey, they went. Rat and Joey got suits and briefcases and flew to Vegas and just partied for the weekend in their suits with their briefcases on them. They just walked around with briefcases. We could do that. We could do that. We could do that next weekend. That's a whole different vibe when you just set your briefcase down

and be like, yeah, I'll just, you know, whiskey and eat. Keep them coming. Your briefcase on like 100. Briefcase down, well, it's fine. No way. We're in Vegas. I'm shooting Henrock.

Oh, Henrock for sure. Every time. David showed me. I didn't know that you just got, if you slot machined or whatever, you just get free drinks. I had no idea. He just walked up to you slot machined or whatever, you just get free drinks. I had no idea. Just walk up to you. No, girl comes over and asks what we wanted. He ordered two hennies and I'm like,

dog, it's going to be like 50 bucks. He goes, they're free. It's insane to me. We put like a dollar in. Sean was like, Sean made it sound like I was doing something terrible. He's like, whoa. Yeah, low, low price.

My first pick. Sure. I wish I could be there and I have to give, I didn't come up with this pick myself, but I think I could be there and I have to give I didn't come up with this pick myself but I think I would have gotten there I have to give credit to my friend Anna's friend Emily for this pick

the first five minutes of the movie The Lion King oh shit that's what I'm talking about what would you be are you Rafiki I'm just hanging out I'm talking about. What would you be? That's what I'm talking about. Are you Rafiki? What are you doing? I'm just hanging out, dude.

I'm me. I'm the one guy there. I'm making. What's the song? Nah, it's the mania. But then the rest of the words. The day we ride on this planet. It's the circle of life.

And when we step into the sun. There's more to see than could ever be seen. More to do than could ever be done. Tell everybody that I have goosebumps. I do. I have goosebumps. All the animals are showing up. Everybody's getting along.

You know what I mean? The giraffe are there. There's cheetah. You know what I mean? Yeah. The giraffe are there. There's cheetahs there. Rafiki's little smile. That's also one of those things that you're definitely going to have drinks afterwards. Oh, 100%. That's the beginning. Yeah.

That's like reception to follow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Then we're going to go to the elephant graveyard. It was like an opposite purge for the jungle. It's like, all right, at 12, we back to this shit. Yeah. I'm hunting you at midnight, so let's hang out tonight.

Just like, we got a ceasefire. We got a new purge today. I'm hunting you at midnight. Let's hang out. Just like fire. We have your joke. Ian's running joke to all the other animals. He'd tap and be like, you want to go to the local watering hole? And he would just use it

on every different group like he hadn't used yet. You guys go into the watering hole after this. I'm going to try this on the water buffalo. Hold on. Like I love this.

They're in the watering hole. I love this shit. They love it. Hey, you guys want to go to the watering hole? I want to go to the watering hole. The local one. That would be... That's so clutch, dude.

I don't know what's longer, Rafiki's speech or the giraffe's neck, huh? For God's sake, what? No, nothing. It's good to see you guys. I bet you I've watched the first five minutes of that movie more than anyone in this room combined. Every time I'm on

a flight, I watch it probably three times. It'd be so tight, just all these animals hanging out together, bowing. Yeah. And a monkey holds up a lion. That's just dope. You ever saw a monkey hold up a lion in real life? Something has gone wrong. Something's gone wrong. Something's gone wrong. Some shit got fucked up. Climate change is real.

Yeah. I'm still playing with the apes enough to know I'm going to have more questions. I think if we had a picture of a mandrill holding up a baby lion, that would be like, oh, okay, so climate change is real. Everyone would agree. Something crazy is going on. We've got to stop right now. We're carving offsets immediately.

Yeah, man, that is good on board. Like I'm so bummed out that that didn't, ah, that's so good. I think I would've gotten there eventually on my own. Cause this is fucking iconic.

That's pretty great. Plus if that song is, if everyone can hear that song, I'm not saying that's what's going on, but if so, you're just have your iPhone like, huh? It's the circle of life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're doing a live thing. It's like, I don't know. Yo, what up? We out here. Simba's crowding. What up? Back of the life, baby.

Gar's not here for some reason, though. We don't know why Scar's not here. He might be up there on Pride Rock. We don't know. Shout out to the hippos.

Looking good, girl. Oh, yeah. Because before Rafiki comes out, you know people are talking now man yeah they're just hanging out he's starting dude shut up shut up you're still trying to get a joke in

I told this fucking hyena Ian goes whisper live at that point alright I'm gonna stay live this whole thing's gonna be live it's gonna be ding it's your boy Hammer Pride Rock no boy, Hammer Pride Rock. No big. I'm gonna have to put it away. We out of here. We out of here.

The next thing I'd like to see, as it is a serpentine draft. Sure, it sure is. I would like to see the dance fight from West Side Story happen. Is that the when you're a jet, you're a jet all the way? Is that that one? It's the snappy dance fight. Because I'm like, oh shit,

a big gang fight. It's a little bit like your thriller thing where it's like, oh shit, a big gang fight's about to break out. Wait. Is it? Wait, what? Am I in danger? Oh.

This is dangerous. There's knives out. But they're also singing. This song kind of begs. This is dangerous. There's knives out. Do I call the cops? But they're also singing. This song kind of begs. Yeah, dude. I don't know who's winning. I haven't seen West Side Story in quite some time.

My mom used to say I sounded just like the I just met a girl named Maria. And she tells me, you do it better than he does. No, I don't. Because I'd have been in West Side Story or a rendition of it when have you tried to be in West Side Story though you know

I'm pretty much trying all the time like I'm trying a little bit all the time instead of trying hard once put that on a t-shirt that shit was like a whole new way of life that shit was deep no that's to change the way some people rock from now. Like, there's people, there's going to be people

who have like had a life before you said that. Yeah. And then now they're going to have a life after you said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the schism moment. Damn. That was tight. Damn. I try a little bit all the time and never a lot once. I try a little bit all the time instead of trying 100% once.

I don't know know whatever I said. Sean, time for your second pick. I want to be at the football game they play in Wedding Crashers when Vince Vaughn gets knocked down by Bradley Cooper two different times. I want to be

and I'm sitting there drinking with Dr. Quinn and whoever else, but I'm just sitting there drinking with Dr. Quinn and whoever else, but I'm just sitting there drinking like their martinis or whatever. I'm in one of the Adirondacks. Just kicking it with Christopher Walken in. When he just comes over, he's like, big tree fall hard. Big mind.

Wow. That's a sack lunch, baby. No, no, no, no, no. Crab cakes and football. That's what Maryland does. You should have picked up the block. No, Maryland does. You should have picked up the block. No, shut up. You should have picked up the block. Hot rod.

But you would be over there flirting with Jane Austen. I sure would be. Or Seymour. Yeah, Jane Seymour. I sure would be. Jane Austen's also right, though. Jane Austen. Jane Austen.

For a micro generation of boys who grew up in the 90s, she is Jane Austen as well. For no reason other than. I thought she was bad since Dr. Quinn. She is Jane Austen as well. For no reason other than I thought she was bad since Dr. Quinn. She is so hot. Was and is. Yeah. She's the man. You wouldn't get in the game?

I probably wouldn't. You'd get dragooned into it for sure. Yeah, I probably would hop in there. Yeah, but then you do the splits and everything. I think me and Bradley Cooper would end up getting into it. I did the splits at football practice one time. I did that for real. Oh, you don't know the story? Sean, please. Regalus. There's a whole...

I walked up with all my pads. I'll shorten it up. I walked up with all my pads on and I was like, hey, everyone. Come along, because I'm going to get a LaCroix. I walked up and I had all my shit on and I thought it would be cool to do the splits. I thought I was like, they'll think this is dope.

And I walked up and I was like, hey, here's the actual story. Somebody goes, this kid goes, he goes, Hey, can't you do the splits? Cause I do a bit about it and it's a little bit different. But so this kid, he goes, you can do the splits, right? And I go, can I? And I just dropped and did the splits in front of the whole football team. It was such a bummer, dude. He said, can I? I go, can I? So at football practice, somebody said, Sean, can you do the splits? And he says, can I? Drops at football practice. Can you believe it?

I learned from him a really long time, and I would be like, he's not going to make it this week. Yeah, it's the funniest thing I've ever heard of happening in practice i quit pretty quick because you were shamed out of it if that had happened and i was there you oh my god and people were calling me all the things you think they were calling me like the the popular nicknames of the mid-90s thing is johnny cage was a big deal and his whole thing was splits. So it kind of goes either way. That's not what he was doing. I wasn't doing the Johnny Cage splits. I think they were thinking

more like tip drill videos. Yeah, he was tip... He did a tip drill right on the 20-yard line. Let's do a tip drill split. Oh, my God. What a bummer that I did the tip drill splits

at football practice. Hey, Sheldon, get over here and take what's yours. Here's the worst part. Because in my head, you hit it, and then you wiggled with it. You know what I mean? Like, you hit it, and then you bounced with it. If you had a touchdown and did that shit,

you would have been the most balling dude in football history. But he did score. That's the thing. He wasn't in touchdown. He was just hanging out. It was for real, like, the start of practice. Oh, man. We were just chilling. And they were all, I know now that they were all just crewed up talking shit about me, obviously, because they were like, you do that.

And like some of the kids were like, no, he cannot. And then I'm sure it morphed into like, I guarantee he will not do the splits right now. Nobody is that stupid. And then someone's like, hey, I'll test him. I'll see what he's got real quick. Hey, Sean, can you do the splits? Can I? Kaboom goes the dynam quick. Hey, Sean, can you do the splits? Can I? Kaboom goes the dynamite.

New nickname for the next four years. The problem with football practice is it is the lion's den. It really is. Nobody's there to gonna help you. The locker room is terrifying, especially if it's your birthday. It's a rough go. There was a kid on the team nicknamed Ladybug, and up until then, he was like the joke. And then I did the splits, and I'm like, fuck, man, team nicknamed Ladybug and up until then he was like the joke

and then I did the splits and I'm like fuck man I'm below Ladybug now. Now tip drill Jordan's on the team. Ladybug was like yes motherfucker. Yeah he was watching you like thank god. He immediately runs over. They called him his real name once.

He was like I got my name back. Oh yeah. Mom they called me his real name once he was like i got my name back they called me josh again this is sick yeah sean's a loser now yeah some tip drill dude just uh made my life better after dark came out yeah my man busted it open for a real one sean cracked it right on the yard line. So yeah, the football game at wedding cratches. Oh man, perfect. David, time for your second

pick. My second pick, also a game not the same as you. I would like to be on the opposing team's side for Air Bud's first game. Could you imagine? Could you imagine being a dad?

What the fuck, ref? What the fuck? My kid's trying to get a scholarship. This is horseshit. I got VTech coming out? I pay all this money for AAU ball? He's getting scattered? You put a fucking dog in?

Darius, we're going. Darius, get your shoe. No. Get your shit. Coach K, I'm sorry you had to see this, Coach K. Coach K, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're still Team Nike. Yes. We're still, yeah, we're still, yeah. We're transferring to St. Patrick's, right? There's nothing in the rulebook? Let me see the rulebook. No, yeah, we're going to St.

Let me see the fucking rulebook. I don't see LeBron playing with fucking border collies. This is fucking Bushley. This is why nobody wants to play for public school. Right here. This fucking horse shit. This is why the state of Colorado basketball is in the

shape it is. Chauncey Billups and then who? Yeah. Chauncey Billups and then who? Because you guys are running shenanigans out here. This is a top blue chip fucking athlete. You're going to bring this fucking dog in here? Does he have a shot? Show me the papers.

Show me the fucking papers. Coach K texts him. Yeah, he texts him. He's in league? He's in league? Bullshit. That's a Highlands Ranch dog. That's a Highlands Ranch fucking dog.

He's seven years old. He should not be in this league. Yeah, the dog is 49 human years. Are you fucking... He's a Highlands Ranch dog. That's a Highlands Ranch fucking dog. He's seven years old. He should not be in this league. Yeah, the dog is 49 human years. Are you fucking, he's a sophomore though? He's playing JV though? That dog has a family. Are you fucking kidding me? That dog's taking algebra.

That dog passed algebra? That dog passed algebra too. I thought about the airbender thing. With Mrs. Cox? With Mrs. Cox? Because my kid can, my kid, AP, he took him two tries to pass. She's not in front of the program.

That dog's eligible. Okay. No, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Oh, I'm wrong. Five paragraph essay.

Why don't we see that dog write a five paragraph fucking essay? Yeah. I'd throw a chair. Oh, man. It's like you just got a shot of adrenaline. I would go nuts. I thought about that Air Bud thing, and then I realized at the end of the day, I'm just watching a high school basketball game.

Yeah. But that's why in my story I'm invested. Your extra hook makes it so delicious. It's delicious. Is that a dog in one month? Yeah. I'd be like, oh, a dog? Oh, yeah.

I'd be like, oh, that's cute. That's a cute little. For the halftime show. Oh, that's there's no way that dog's going to play in the game and score points against humans. Yeah, that that would that we're not living in that world. What's going on? Just at dinner is like, yeah. So a dog dropped 20 on us.

Yeah. So I don't know. The dog got assists, though. Apparently, yeah, so a dog dropped 20 on us. I don't know if the dog got assists, though. Apparently, the dog got a triple-double. I've been telling my son, Junior, you let him get re's on you? You let that dog get rebounds on you? That's how you figure it out. You thought we were going to Subway after this?

No, we're going to the court. We're going to the fucking court. School starts 8 in the morning. We'll leave the court at 730. Yeah, we're running drills. We're going to the fucking court. School starts 8 in the morning. We'll leave the court at 730. Yeah. We're running drills. We're running drills all night. Are they tip drills? No, Sean. They're not tip drills. Damn. This is my son.

I'm trying to get him to college. Show some respect. Sean, they're not tip drills. Jesus Christ. Aaron, time for your second and third pick as it is a serpentine round. All right alright my second pick I'm choosing the diner scene in Pulp Fiction

I'm gonna be like I feel like you just get home and you be like alright so I lost my rent money but something dope really happened at breakfast today yeah this shit was crazy no yeah they just robbed me yeah they robbed me and then like this dude had a gun

and robbed the robbers, I think. I don't know what happened. He gave them everything, right? He's just like, I'm keeping the suitcase. Didn't he even give him his money? He gave him his money, and he let them keep everybody else's money, and he just let them keep the briefcase.

He plans if this belongs to, right? He's like, this is my son's wallet. Yeah, very important person. But yeah, Pulp Fiction, Diner scene, getting robbed. I forget what happens at the very end. Do they kill? No, they let him leave and then they walk out and the movie ends.

That's the last scene. They're dressed in those weird clothes. After they killed, yeah. After they killed that dude in the car. That's right. I just feel like the chaos of getting robbed Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Should they kill that dude in the car? Yeah. That's right. Harvey Keitel. I just feel like the chaos of like getting robbed and then like robbers getting robbed at the same time.

I don't feel like it'd be a nice day. You don't have to pay for breakfast after that. Yeah. So it's still like. Yeah. Depending on how much cash you had on you. It still might be a win. Yeah.

I was going to use my card. I only had eight bucks cash. Yeah. No, this is way better. Yeah. And I like I was like plus sausage plus bacon so like actually i'm like can i box this up i'm kind of gonna take this home i guess that's gonna be extra yeah i didn't need you to say it out loud in front of everyone give me free bacon at this diner all right sir please don't that shit that's gonna be extra

tone but then the robbery happens like they forget all about that person that didn't even get their food yet and they're like, do I like have to stay to get my food? Like, yeah, what do you do in that situation? So you haven't got your food yet. Like after they leave, you're like, I hate to be a dick, but I've been waiting for like

45 minutes. I just got toast. I like came in hungry and so like now and you all know I don't have money now, but I feel like I'm kind of owed at this point. I came in hungry like I actually skipped dinner last night.

I had like coffee for some reason and so like I was so hungry. I ordered an omelet with chicken in it. Now that I think about it, it's kind of fucked up. Yeah, it feels incestuous somehow. Yeah, I don't like eating chicken with eggs either. Yeah, it feels incestuous somehow. Yeah, I don't like eating chicken with eggs either. I used to want it.

Yeah, it's always weird to me when that's on the menu somewhere. I'm fine with it. I love it. You do? Chicken omelets? Yeah, all day. I don't know, man. All day.

Something about it feels fucked up. Yeah. A chicken omelet? Yeah. I get it, but no, I'm in. I need like beef or something in it. Like, I can't do chicken and omelet. Yeah, I need like sausage or bacon.

Sausage. I need a third pick. Oh, my third pick. I'm going controversial. Okay. Is it his idea? I'm going to moon landing. Yeah, dude.

I have a friend who fucking thinks it's fake. I seriously have a buddy who thinks... I'll allow it because I can't prove it. But like... My friend Micah, his whole thing, he's like, I seriously have a buddy who thinks... I'll allow it because I can't prove it. My friend Micah, his whole thing, he's like, he goes, so this is for real. He goes, so during the Iraq war,

the footage... Hold on. So he goes, well, you look at all the footage from then and it was all grainy and we're on the same planet and the footage doesn't work, but we have perfect audio and footage on the moon. And I'm like, you don't know anything, dude. You have no idea what you're talking about. I can't explain to you how a text works, but it works.

He's trying to drop knowledge about the moon landing. But you don't have an answer to his... I don't, but I don't need one. I just have to... What do you mean you don't need one? If a doctor says you have cancer... I don't agree with that at all. If a doctor says you have cancer, you just have to trust them. Because I don't need one. If a doctor says you have cancer. I don't agree with that at all. If a doctor says you have cancer, you just have to trust them.

Because I don't know. Yeah, if the doctor says some shit, but like, fucking I don't know what NASA's doing. The government's behind that shit. You don't think we landed on the moon? I don't know that we did or did not. David Borey. David Boreanaz.

Seems, all I'm saying, seems really far ahead for the rest of the technology available to the world at the time. Come on. You don't think we explain it to me. I can't. You. That's what I'm saying. I was kind of worried.

You're mad. You have. I can't explain anything. I can't explain how cable works, but I can watch cable. I mean, I just I can't tell you. You just some people you have to trust. I think we landed on the moon. We landed on the fucking moon. We just, there's like 12 people.

There's like 12 people living in space right now. That's not on the moon, but we could have. I'm just saying maybe we did. I think that would just be a really hard lie to like keep up. I don't think so. I feel like people find out shit all the time.

I think like that lie would have came out immediately. Somebody would have blown it at some point. Or maybe it did. And that's what we're having this conversation. Yeah. I mean, I can't, I cannot prove it.

And it does. I don't trust the government for shit is all I'm saying. I have, if by the way, if you have any bucket hats, feel free to send some LSU bucket hats. I just had a vision. I will.

I saw where I want the next couple months to go. You just see the wheels turning. By the way, LSU guys. I just had a vision. Oh, that's tight. Don't they think it was one of the rumors that Stanley Kubrick filmed it, right? For the government?

In like a fucking hangar in Phoenix or something? Yeah, it probably would have been here in sunny Los Angeles where all the studios are. You got to do that off-site. You think so? I can't have union guys involved. They're not getting like, yeah, you know what i mean um what i'm just saying the government at that time was prone to a lot of lie i just don't i don't believe yo they lie

all the time maybe mike is right i'm sorry micah maybe you're right we were in a space race and they kind of pulled the buddha judge they were like, we landed on the moon? Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Like, we won Iowa. It was totally the time to, if there was ever a time during that shit, because Sputnik, we lost, right? Yeah. And then we were like, okay. You know what I mean?

It's just like when you're having an argument with somebody, and then they make something up. You know what I mean? You prove a point, and you're like, yeah, well, I fucked your sister. It's not real. You should watch Zeitgeist today. No. Get out of here with that.

Get out of that. And Buzz Aldrin gets so mad when you punch his people. Yeah. He'll swing on you. He will swing on people if you say, you didn't land on the moon. He's like, whack. Yeah, dude. You're like one of those.

I'm just saying it's not the craziest thing to not believe. I really don't care about it. Remember that Ali G interview where he goes, he's like, now we all know the moon's not made out of blue cheese, but what would you say to the people that says there is no moon? I think it was Buzz Aldrin. It was one of them.

They go, there's most definitely a moon. Yeah. It was so tight. What would you say to the people that says there is no moon? There's most definitely a moon.

Yeah, dude. The moon landing. Yeah. You got this couch. It was getting filmed. I want to be there to watch a game film. That's hilarious.

Whether it's fictional or not, we'll leave that up to we'll leave that up to the government. David, time for your third pick. My third pick. Ooh. I, because Sean's

here, I think that this could go later. So I'm going to take it now. I'm taking the dance party at the end of Hitch. Of course. That shit. Oh my God, what a fun wedding like that's the wedding where you're like grinding on an ant a little too much but it's still in fun they just dance down the line and i'll do their wacky shit and then you see will smith you're like oh did they do a soul train at

uh yeah oh i haven't seen that kevin james does the one what are we gonna do What are we gonna do with it? And that's the best song for a fucking soul train. You know what's another good exhibit song is? Alcoholics. Call it what you wanna call it.

I'm a fucking alcoholic. Maybe not the best to play at your wedding. No, maybe not for a soul train. Ain't gonna put no extra Right when Laura says I do, I just get pissed. DJ, kick that shit! All the windows shatter.

The actual alcoholics show up and wrap it with exhibits. Kegs everywhere, just pushed out of closets. Oh, man. But yeah, the wedding scene at the end, it just looked like so much fun. And weddings are so happy and fun. And my best friend Will Smith

would be there. So I'd already be like, I'd have an in. And like, you know, Eva Mendez, she doesn't have a hot cousin or something. She's got a hot boyfriend, Ryan Gosling. He'll probably be there with her. Are they together? Yeah, right. It's been forever. In real life, but not in that motion picture. No, I'm just saying. She chose Will Smith in that one.

Oh, yeah, we're in that world. But he is still friends with Will Smith. There are some elements of reality. Yeah, yeah, there's different. There's some elements of reality. It's based on true events. It is wild to know that if you ran into Will Smith at, I don't know, Gelson's,

he would be like, oh, what's up, David? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd have to dap me up, yeah. Dap? Would you say dap? What'd you say? Step dad. Come on, man. All right, I'm sorry.

Give us a full-blown one. David doesn't have to look. Oh, boy. Did you look? I did a real one. I tried to. Yeah, no, I saw. I saw a video of Rihanna doing one yesterday.

It was so much. It was cool. It was weird. Yeah, I'm not a good. I know. It's not a fair example. It's not if it's going to be cool when I do it. I'm going to YouTube Rihanna dabbing right now.

She's doing it on an NBA basketball court. It's crazy awesome. I think I've seen that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sean, time for your third pick. I'm going to be ringside when Rocky knocks out Ivan Drago. Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Look! Well, I don't want to look at you like that.

Oh, yeah. Fucking fuck shit! I believe you. Man, just Sean in Soviet Russia. And I stand up and I go, Rocky solved the problem, everybody. It's all good Senator Gorbachev tear down this wall

Senator government's all different Rocky knocked the communism out of him with that last punch communism went flying out of his mouth you saw it right with his mouthpiece Senator Gorbachev and then Rocky learned

the word democracy. He goes, democracy. Democracy. That's not your wife's name. Well, whatever her name is, get her in here.

If I can change, then you can change. Then we can all change I can't control my bladder yeah man I'm ringside and I'm like I'm rich yeah and I'm like I'm really not supposed to be there like I'm like mad rich

I'm that kind of rich where like you think that people can't fight you because you have so much money and like all these dudes next to me are furious but I'm like it doesn. I'm that kind of rich where like you think that people can't fight you because you have so much money and like all these dudes next to me are furious, but I'm like it doesn't matter. I got money. What are they going to do? And I'm just like hooting and hollering the whole time. I got a big suit on with one of those big because you're the dickhead who came to Russia.

This dude flew in. We're the Soviet Union. It was like people were saying Rocky might die. I kind of want to go watch. Yeah. I wanted to choose that one, but like a black dude would have stuck out in the 80s Russia like a lot. Yeah.

They have black Russia. Where it's like, what's he doing here? You know what I mean? Where it's like, that's almost an extra level of power movement. Maybe we can't do anything to him. Fox fur outfit. You'd have to be wearing fur if you were in Russia In the 80s I don't care what you're wearing

I'm wearing a mink coat Or a chinchilla Made out of red, white, and blue chinchillas I've been breeding these chinchillas For decades to make this coat And by the way, these chinchillas are still alive Voluntarily part of the coat. They're into it.

Had to buy each of them a ticket. Yeah. Oh, that's such a good pick. You know, I didn't know a mink was an animal. What did you think it was? I thought it was a type of coat. Okay.

Yeah, I didn't. I was like, oh. What did you think a stole was? I still might not know. Also an animal. What is it? Also an animal. A stole?

A stole. That's another way to, that's another kind of fur coat. Like a stole coat? You're going to see some mink chinchilla. You're going to see stole. You'll see fox occasionally. Sometimes they double down on minkzilla. Bloodhound? You ever had a bloodhound coat? I'm trying to make the turduck in a fur coat.

Like, what is this? Mink chinchilla and fox. There's actually some human in there. Have a human skin color. Just a little fur trade. Just a little fur trade. AFE does not condone the fur trade. Not one bit.

That's where everyone is listening. But if it's already made. Listen, if it's a vintage fur coat, I'm not saying buy a new one. If we're going to the AVN Awards, are we going to wear vintage fur coats? An LSU fur coat? LSU fur one. If we're going to the AVN Awards, are we going to wear vintage fur coats? An LSU fur coat? Oh, God.

LSU fur coat. If we're going to the AVNs, I'll be wearing a Davy Crockett hat and some crazy shit. I'm going to be dressed up like Captain Crunch, but in a dignified way. I'm going to wear leather shorts. You and James Harden.

Like a fucking Cameron video. Doesn't Peter Gunn's... Which one has the leather baseball outfit on it? It's either Lord Tariq or Peter Cameron video. Doesn't Peter Guns have, which one has the leather baseball outfit on? That's a, it's either Lord Tariq or Peter Guns. It's Peter Guns. It's Peter Guns. He loves sex.

And I love sex. Yeah, he rocks with my legs. Tom's calling strife. What a line, dude. And I love sex. Whoa, whoa, hey, hey. What are you mad about? Whoa, you're in Queens.

We all saw it. Guys, we couldn't get Yankee Stadium. But ringside with Naki Rocks out Ivan Drago. Amazing. My third pick, I would love to witness. I'm in Dubai in this situation. Give it to me.

And I would love to see them in Fast and the Furious 7. Yeah, dude. Jump one car from a tower into another tower. Twice. And I'm just sitting there in another skyscraper having a fucking Cobb salad. It's like, I don't know. I'm like, Dubai?

Is this really who I am? Like, I have a vacation from Dubai? I'm a Dubai guy? I just haven't had a good time. I went skiing indoors yesterday. That was fun. I rode a camel. I guess this is not a bad trip. I'm not going to come again. I'll tell you that for free.

I'm not going to come again. But like, what? What? I remember that was like in the trailer. They just show him flying out and you're like, where are they going? Where is Fast and the Furious taking me? They got my 15 bucks. They got it right there.

Sure, I'll get a popcorn. I'll donate to the cause. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. We're going to make a night out of this. Yeah, yeah. Have to make a night out of it. Have to go participate in the economy that night.

Yeah, dude. Oh, man. Yeah, man. Will they jump one car? Can you even imagine, like, in real life, if that happened? That would be on national news. It'd be insane if that happened that would be on national news it'd be insane if that happened yeah that's Sean saying

clown posse dude yeah violent J and Shaggy too dope jump the cars in Dubai make up on the whole rest of their body this time how many how far will this franchise have to go before Shaggy too dope 18 at least how long what you gotta go how many Fast and Furious moves would franchise have to go before Shaggy 2 Dope? 18 at least.

How long? How many Fast and Furious movies would they have to make before? Before Shaggy 2 Dope and J.K. get in there? We got an ICP to it. I don't know. John Cena just got his way in on the ninth one. Yeah, but he's a movie star now. The Fast Saga.

John Cena. Do you think that John Cena is the same as ICP? No. No, I don't but i think he i think in nine more movies then i could see shags too dope and violent j being in there as like a cameo i mean quavo has been in two very successful television shows and do you think that quavo is the same as i do you think migos is the same as I... Do you think Migos is the same as ICP? No, I don't. But I'm just saying. You're throwing out all these things that

you want. It makes it seem like you're trying to draw a line. I think Migos heard it up in the next one. Yeah, you just were like, well, if the Migos could do it. Then the insane clown father. Surely. Surely. Bone Crusher just turned up in Narcos.

That's one thing. Then I would be like, okay, Bone Crusher did it. You said Quavo. He's like the... Okay. Okay, time for my fourth pick. And with my fourth pick, I'm going to take...

It's a new movie. It's a movie that came out this year. I would like to be in the strip club in Hustlers when Usher shows up. Gonna make love in this club. In this club. You would get that tangential. You get some of that like people are going crazy

and everyone's showing up. I would stand close enough that maybe I could be in the Hunter. Is he with Usher? He is wearing a Bonzi Wells throwback. He might be. That scene is so good when they just run out and they're like, Usher's here. Usher's here.

And there's just money everywhere. And doesn't she, doesn't like J-Lo go up and be like, what's your name, baby? Like she doesn't know. It's so funny because he's like, they call me Usher. Yeah. They call me Usher. Can you imagine if you were Usher and you got to say that? I feel like it's like they call me usher yeah they call me usher so imagine if you were usher

and you got to say that i feel like it's like that everywhere usher yeah like usher went into applebee's the same thing would happen usher's here can i get a name for the reservation they call me usher they call me usher i'm gonna get wings in this wings in this club. Wings in this club. Where's the buffet in this club? Yeah, that would be, oh, that'd be so tight. Because, like, not only are you hanging out with Usher and you get to see Usher in the strip club, also J-Lo stripping. Yeah.

For God's sake. And it was hard to breathe. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That whole movie. Yeah, yeah. It was like when Cardi B was teaching her how to dance, I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That whole movie. Yeah, yeah. It was like... When Cardi B was teaching her how to dance,

I was just like... Oh, my God. It was insane. I was on an airplane. I like the same feeling watching Uncut Gems and that movie. It was like for two different reasons. It was Uncut Gems for your penis.

My article fell out no less than nine times. I accidentally put claw marks in David's new table when we watched Uncut Gems, and I didn't even know it. Yeah, man, that scene. I remember that was such a fun scene in that movie too. Usher's here.

And you're like, I would have been that big of a deal. That was when he was like peak, like usher ass usher. Also, have you ever been in a strip club when it's really getting thrown? Oh yeah. That is a crazy view. Like, it's just like, they don't when it's really getting thrown? Oh, yeah. That is a crazy

feel. Like, it's just like... They don't do that at Scarlett O'Hara's. What is happening? I had recently had a night where I spent a gentleman's amount of money in a strip club. And it felt like that. I was just throwing money

in the air. I blame Jack Knight. Yeah. I remember that.. I remember that because I remember that night I had to get up and work, but you were like, you want to come? I was like, no, I can't. I got to work. I can't even imagine if I would have went. Dude.

You got to be mentally prepared to go to a strip club. I got to know that morning that I'm going that night. We ran the first strip club out of money. They were trying to do like Venmo deals and we were like, and then we left. As we left, Sam J said, I'm sorry, strippers. This is

their fault. They did not put you in a position to win and now we gotta go. And I was like, you're gonna live forever. Also, shout out to Sam J's film and her special tonight. Big shout out to Sam J. Oh, no shit. Oh, fuck yeah. Here? No, New York probably. No, New Orleans. Oh, New Orleans? Atlanta, I'm sorry.

God, that's tight. Sam fucking rules, man. Yeah. Sean, tell me your fourth pick. Alright, so I'm going to be at a party, but I'm going to be in a specific place in this party. I'm going to be at the party from the, you know? I know what you're going to say. I'm going to be at the party from the Gin and Juice video. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I will be in the room

where Snoop Dogg allegedly goes and fucks like 15 times. And I will be there to be like, I knew you didn't do it. I knew you had sex once and walked out of here. You did not need 15 condoms. Are you fucking kidding me? You knew you didn't fuck 15 times. Why did you have Dre give you 15 condoms? You greasy little perv.

That whole fucking party. And I'm in there just pointing fingers. I'm in the closet. You're in the closet watching Snoop Dogg fuck. He's 19. You know that, right? It's not going to be cool ass fucking. Jack Rabbit sex at best.

What are you? This is a terrible decision. He might have sex 15 times for 45 seconds each time. He probably did come 15 times. I'm still at the party. I can do whatever I want, but I'm in there to discredit.

You said specifically. I'm in there to discredit Snoop Dogg for not having sex 15 times. And then what's going to happen? To what end? For me personally. Just to tell him. sex 15 times. And then what's gonna happen? To what end? For me, personally. Just to tell him, you lied. And then just go back to the party?

Just to know that that didn't happen. That is some hate and ass shit. That's crazy. Sean just leaves the room. He's like, Snoop wasn't really doing any fucking in there. Yeah, and everyone's like, okay. Everyone's like, I don't care. Turn the music back up.

And another thing. That's not Seagram's gin. That's well. And they're just like, dude, this is his house. Shut the fuck up. We're music back up. And another thing. That's not Seagram's gin. That's well. And they're just like, dude, this is his house. Shut the fuck up. We're at his party. Is your mom home? Okay, then.

Shut the fuck up. He didn't fuck Sadie. He went in there and they talked. Because she used to be my lady. And she will be again. Sadie! I know you're in here. I miss you, Sadie. I miss you, Sadie.

I miss you, Sadie. Sadie. Come on. Somebody brought that hockey jersey that he's got at the drive-in. He gave me one of those. Hell yes. I forget the name of the team, but it's a Portland show. I'm like, damn.

I might wear a hockey jersey one of these days. You should. Yeah. Did you guys both know I was going to pick the gin and juice video? Yeah. No, I thought you were going to pick the Menace's Society Party. Oh, I knew gin and juice. It's in your oeuvre. Yeah. Yeah. Did you guys both know I was going to pick the gin and juice video? Yeah. No, I thought you were going to pick the menace to society party. Oh, I knew gin and juice. It's in your oeuvre.

Yeah. Yeah. It's in my oeuvre. It's in my oeuvre. It's in your oeuvre. What got you that one day where I was, oh, we were talking about like if you just burp, if you just burped when you talk sometimes and you just came out and you just couldn't do anything about it.

You were just like, yeah, I'd like I'm here to get a driver's license. And Ian was dying. Yeah, I'm just here to renew my license. Oh, man. Nobody can say we don't have fun. I'll tell you that. Laura, you want to go to Pepino's? I like their burritos.

Pepino's and their hot sauce is really nice. The calories on the blue nut. Is that her serving for the whole thing? Oh, my God. I'm cramping. Oh, man. Yeah, dude. I'll be in the Gin and Juice video watching Snoop have

sex. Once. Why are you so sure? Okay, he didn't fuck 15 times. Why are you so sure that he only fucked... He was 19. Yeah, 19. You remember how many times you could reload the gun at 19?

David, I'm not married. I had a banana clip at 19. Are you kidding me? How would I know that? Dump, dump, dump, dump. Everybody in this club's getting shot at 19. David, how would I possibly know what sex is like when I'm not married?

That's a good point. Cheese and rice, bud. You know, Christians listen to this show sometimes. They better not! God-fearing, if they will. Okay, not! God fearing. God's not here today. Boy oh boy oh boy. Yeah. My fourth pick

the final showdown at the end of Independence Day. Oh! Yeah like right after Are you flying? No I'm watching. i'm watching after he gives after he gives that speech oh yeah and then we win what are you gonna do yeah like yo like oh my god it would feel so good like it would be like the world would never be more united than

they were in that moment when we took down. I mean, America did it, but everybody else took down aliens. We took down the alien. After that speech. That speech is insane. Oh, my God. The pole man, dude. Oh, man.

Yeah. What would be funny is like five years later, like all the regular beef just started again. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It wouldn't hold us off forever. Yeah. But I feel like we could get a good five years where like anything could happen i would almost rather die than participate in that

cleanup afterwards that's what i was always thinking like those spaceships are like the size of delaware we don't even do i guess you just gotta leave it there i didn't think about i think you just i think they're just in the oceans now yeah like reefs alien waste it's like we have new schools now we need these like new New York right like they were yeah it was like one of them just like lasered down the Empire State Building and leveled all in New York well you know

Ian's actually you've been in it Martin have you probably haven't Ian's got a theory on the White House it's political it's a political it's a bit of a joke. So like satire, if you will, you guys are going to love this.

You've definitely ever heard it before. I think it's great. I think it's great. I like it every time. I think it's real. And feel free to use it, but like, please credit me.

I think it's, I think it's a real good bit. Recently. What were the goings on? Political and political and otherwise. Yeah. Down there inside the beltway. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Sure

There's a little building called the White House The White House, that's where the President lives That's where the President lives And what were the goings on recently? Political and otherwise I've taken to calling it The Looney Bin And I'll tell you what, those clowns in Congress.

Just a whole circus out there. I'm about to open up a jar of peanuts on them as well. I'm not afraid. And again, feel free to use it, but please do credit me. Aaron, time for your fourth and final picks. All right. My fourth one I want to go with a party too and I'm going

with the party and house party oh yeah but slapping feet would you be group dancing as well yeah I'd definitely be group dancing I have on like some spray painted overalls like I'd be doing a whole bit I'd probably keep up in the table

Martin would probably be mad at me but oh yeah you always got to do one down like DMX and what you really want yeah yeah yeah I'd probably keep up in the table. Margo would probably be mad at me. Bib down? Oh, yeah. You always got to do one down. Like DMX and what you really want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Push this one out for your dead homies. What did they really want? Did they ever find out? I think they just wanted him to not call them bitches all the time.

There's a history of women on songs with DMX asking for very reasonable shit. Oh, dude. Have you heard that Back in One Piece song with him and Aaliyah? No. Oh, dude. Have you heard that Back in One Piece song with him and Aaliyah? No. The whole song, she's like, you can run with your dogs. You can run with your dogs.

Yeah, go out. Just make sure, if you go out with them, just try to get home, come back to me, make it back in one piece. That's all she's asking. The whole song is like, come on, bitch! And she's like, listen, you can hang out with them. That's all she's asking. The whole song is like, come on, bitch. And she's like, listen, you can hang out with them.

It's Saturday night. I know you just don't die. And he's like, you crazy bitch. What are you? And it's like, let me be. I got to tell you this

before I forget. It's about DMX. We were at the, I was at comedy on state in Madison this last week. Oh, how is this about DMX? This is crazy. So out of nowhere, jumping from one skyscraper to another. I was at Comedy on State in Madison this last week. How is this about DMX? This is crazy. I like the two.

So out of nowhere. This is like jumping from one skyscraper to another. I was just sitting at the bar out of nowhere. And they had like five bartenders. They were mad busy. And one of the bartenders just stops. And he looks up and he goes, you guys think X is ever going to give it to us? And I fucking lost my mind.

It was so, that song is like 20 years old. And just out of nowhere. And I start laughing. Everyone's like, don't laugh. That ain't funny. I go, that's funnier than any joke you're going to hear from me. And then I just start thinking like, X going to give it to you. And then somebody just like, when?

When though? Like his whole team's like, X, are you ever going to give it to anyone? Well, your problem was you thought you could get it on your own. And you realized X was going to lose it. Oh my God, I lost my mind. That's like going up to a bar looking real sad and like, hey man, what's going on?

Man, DM, I've missed that guy. He used to go crazy. He used to go crazy. Do you remember that rap song where he pretended to be a lady? No. Where he was like, about three Kims. No, he was like about three kims no he was like i'm he was running from the cops and the cops like knocked on his door and he goes it's just me here and i'm not dressed and that guy sounds kind of dangerous i hope you make an arrest and you're like tmx trying to be nobody thought you were a one no cop was was like, oh, makes sense. He's not in here.

Unless he was like, the crime of the week. I'm trying to say goodbye and not choke. Huh? Oh, no, it's just me, Macy Gray. And I'm not dressed. And I'm not dressed. No need to go in there. There's a female cigarette.

That's it. A fucking misty. There's just a female cigarette in there, not the perp we're looking for. Now I'm imagining DMX dressed as a woman and my brain won't do it. Oh my God. Yeah, I just see him in overalls in a tank top. If you try to put his face into one of those

what would you look like as a woman apps, it just comes out looking exactly like DMX again. The screen just bursts. But then you get audited. You're in trouble. Aaron, time for your final pick. My final pick is going to be the Toon Squad vs. Monstars.

It's Space Jam. It's Michael Jordan ducking from half court. Everybody get up. Time to slam now. We got a real jam going now. Welcome to the Space Jam. Get your chance.

Do your dance at the Space Jam. At the Space Jam. All right. I feel like I've talked about it multiple times on this podcast, but I cannot say. That might have been the most hyped I ever was. Oh, my God. As a child. Because I remember specifically, we went to the movies, and my mom and her auntie Teresa went to go see a movie.

And me and Michael took me to go see Space Jam. And just the intro to Space Jam with the quad CD DJs playing in that intro. I don't think I've ever been more excited. I was in my seat. I was like 10, and I was just like. I remember the cassette tape that you got with it. It came with a Space Jam coin right in front coin like yeah and i had that coin forever dude i was so like barcelona nights somebody wears those in space jam i forget yeah yeah uh it was a whole there was a whole fucking like

ecosystem around it it was amazing it came to everything we were interested in yeah yeah bill murray shows up in the middle of it to get his hoop on. Wayne Knight's in there. So funny. Barry's not white. He's clear. This is a kid's movie. Hopefully Damien Lillard can make the playoffs on the sequel because he's not going to win for the Blazers this year. I'll tell you that for sure.

It's not looking good. Lost to the Pelicans last night. Took a big L. Took a big L. Been taking big L's like me on Napster. Right when it came out. The whole discography? Sure. We had a buddy who wanted to download

Hot in Here. He just hit every available link. So our friend Joey had Hot In Here five times on his computer. And we were like, Joey, why do you have Hot In Here five times on your computer? Because he just downloaded every possible Hot In. Talk about a song I wish came out when I was having sex. Yeah. God damn. We played it like our eighth grade graduation dance and I was

like, why would they do that? I don't think we know what we should do to this. They did it to ninth and tenth grade. I remember they did. That song, man, good gracious. I've never seen a butt. Yeah, or boobs or anything like that. I don't know what an audacious ass,

the bodacious ass stands for. I didn't know what he was talking about in any of that song. Flirtatious. I still don't know what he means when he says, I have a friend with a phone in the basement. I got a friend with a phone in the basement.

What? And he's like, just kidding. Unless you're going to do it. I don't, I don't know what, I don't know what he was referring to. I am very

familiar with that. I was in the back of my mom's rapping that. I don't know what he's doing with that folder. I am very familiar with just kidding unless you're going to do it. That was my only move for about five years. I'm just kidding like Jason.

What is that? Oh, just kid. Jason kid. Yeah. Just kid. But what about the phone in the bed? I don't. I don't either. Maybe it's not phone.

Maybe it's something else. He said a fold. Like a bed, right? Oh, I got a fold in the basement. A fold basement. Oh, I thought he said I have a friend with a phone in the basement. I always did too. It's like a fold.

I was like, you got. Yeah, like a fold out bed. Gotcha. It's the same basement where the DA's daughter is wrapped up. From the Biggie song. You know, from the Biggie song you see. At my arraignment. Call from the plaintiff.

Your daughter's locked up in the Brooklyn basement. They also tapped Biggie's phone in the basement. Yeah. They tapped my cell on my phone in the basement. They tapped my cell on my phone in the basement. They tapped my phone in the basement. They did. Yeah. What is this basement phone?

I don't know. There's like one place where you have to go. That's why his phone bill is about two G's flat. That basement phone is expensive. It was a whole separate basement line. It's a whole different line. I'm glad long distance is not a thing anymore. Can you imagine if you had like two racks for your phone bill?

That would be such a bummer. Can I use your phone? I mean, you don't have to worry about it. Your accountant handles it. I remember kids used to have like $500 phone bills for like going over their minutes in high school. We knew a kid in junior high school, we called him phone porn

because obviously. Self-explanatory. Yeah. 50 inch screen money green leather sofa. Yeah. Leather sofa. Yeah. At some point he would have graduated out of that. Yeah. Leather sofa. I don't like leather sofa. Leather sofa is disgusting. Where you gotta like.

So I've been sitting too long. Yeah. You fall asleep on it. Then you gotta take your balls off of the spatula fuck that i don't have to clean this whole pan yeah man sometimes i sleep with clothes on i don't know about you but every now and again i know i'm a free man what about you david time for your final pick my final pick i came in on the ooh bitch i'm going out on a ooh bitch i want to be there when she fights the crazy 88's in Kill Bill. At that restaurant.

You're taking your girl out and then you're like what the fuck? Ooh bitch. Ooh bitch. There are so many ninjas here right now. Yeah. No, I said ninjas. No, for real. Swords, masks.

No, there's only one of those here. No, there's no black people. I love ninjas. No, for real. Swords, masks. No, I don't want one of those here. No, no, no, no, no. There's no black people. I love ninjas, though. There is a guy dressed in a Charlie Brown kimono. There is that. Oh, man. I just watched that movie the other night again.

Hell yeah. Fucking crazy. That's a great, that's a great pick. Yeah. Man, Gogo Yubari in there with that fucking like. Yeah, with the chain ball thing. Yeah, dude. Yeah, man.

And then that band. What are they called? The 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, something like that. That was one of the soundtracks I bought when I was done buying soundtracks. And I bought that one. Or GZA. I think it was GZA.

The last soundtrack I bought before that, I cleverly called DM Exit Wounds because I bought the Exit Wounds soundtrack. You bought the Exit Wounds soundtrack? Because of that one. No sunshine when it's on. Because of that song. I remember hearing that song and being like,

I'll kill someone. So I went and I bought the whole fucking thing. Josh is out there getting hyped to exit wounds. You're the only person who bought the exit wound soundtrack. Do you have exit wounds? Do you think I didn't run that joke to every new set of ears I got in the Ford Probe? What were the others? I'm going to look that up.

I can't call it. Take your next pick. I can't remember. He did three movies like that. They all were together. I don't consider Romeo and Messiah. I think Romeo and Messiah was the good one. It had that no sunshine state to state by Black Child and the Beast was the good one. So it had that. No Sunshine. State to State

by Black Child and Ja Rule. Gangstateers by Nas. We Got by Trick Daddy and Trina. Party by Sincere and Timbaland. Sincere doesn't even have their own Wikipedia page. It's On Me by Ideal. They Don't Fuck With You by 3-6 Mafia and Project Pat.

That sounds like I'd like it still. Walk With Me by DMX and Big Stan. One, Two, Three by Bleak. Memphis Bleak. Bust It. Bleak. Bust It On. By The Lox.

Steady Grinding. Mac 10 and Cash Money Millionaires. Incense Burning by Playa. That's perfect. Playa, the R&B group? Yeah. Oh, if you let go of your hands, it's music. And the song is just called Incense Burning.

That's perfect. Off to Chain Daddy by Drag On. Oh. It's music. And the song is just called Incense Burning. That's perfect. Off to Chain Daddy by Drag On. Oh. David's boy, Drag On. He rapped about fire and dragons. Hell Yeah Remix performed by Outsiders for Life. Hey Ladies by Lady Luck and Redman.

Faux All Y'all by Caviar and Dubsy. Faux All Y'all. And Dog for Life by Iceberg. Hell yeah. None of those songs. Got to eight on the Billboard Hot 200, dude. Thanks to me. Thanks to you and thanks to your final pick, which

we'll hear right now. I'm going to be at that Anchorman fight. Oh, that's pretty funny. An Anchorman 2 or 1? Anchorman 1. The one, like, because that was the more fun one. The Spanish man. Ben Stiller shows up. All those cameos and like weird cameos

like who's the Tim? What's his name? Who's married to Susan? Tim Robbins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are right. Yeah. Vince Vaughn made it into two of my picks. Somebody on a horse in that scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All the different

weapons people are like. I love it that Brian Fantana just had a gun. Doesn't Brick have a grenade? Yeah, I just think that would be the Buckus thing to see. What would your weapon be? Unfortunately, it'd have to be nunchucks,

but I'd probably put a spin on it like spiked nunchucks. Flaming nunchucks? Just because I'm really good at nunchucks. You know what would be funny? You have an Emmy with a spin on it like spiked nunchucks or something. Just because I'm really good at nunchucks. You know what would be funny? You have an Emmy with a chain on the end of it, so you just swing it and hit people with it. You would. Yeah. Fuck some people up. That'd be your weapon. I mean, this is our team right here.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, the podcast fight? We do pretty good. I have a pillowcase. We do pretty good. There's that one that's like that. I have a pillowcase full of bricks. I got an Emmy with a chain on it. You got n pretty good. There's that one that's like that. I have a pillowcase full of bricks. Yeah. I got an Emmy with a chain on it. You got nunchucks. There is that one podcast that's like an MMA fighter, but as long as we killed him first,

we'd be fine. You're talking about Jason Ellis? I don't think you heard me. I have a pillowcase full of bricks. Okay, so yeah, we're fine. Jason Ellis used to be a pro skater, and now he's got a podcast, and he is gnarly. Is he? So I don't think we got that.

There's three of us, though. Maybe we crew up. There's three of us. I'm six foot six and there's two of me. You wrote crew. I'm about five out. You wrote crew. What an odd question,

sir. Why would you ever ask someone that? Excellent pick time for my final pick and my final pick. I'm going to take, I get escorted into the room with the other golden ticket winners. The big candy room. Oh yeah. And I'm like to take, I get escorted into the room with the other golden ticket winners, the big candy room. Oh, yeah. And then I'm like, you guys go ahead, I'll catch up.

And then I'm just like loose in this room where everything's candy. Motherfucker. Yeah. If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. And I'm eating everything, dude. I'm like, let Augustus Gloop die!

Let him die! Hubris! Eat a flower. That might be my favorite pick. I'm in there, dude. I'm in there. Just having a good time. I got earbuds in.

I got my own soundtrack. I got a brand new pair of roller skates. Have you guys seen Ian? You haven't seen Ian in a while. No, that was a good clue. I fall asleep on the boat. The nightmare stuff is happening.

I'm tired. I think I'm diabetic now. It was worth it. I think it's on set. What is the one that I did? It was my fault. It think it's on set. What is the one that I did? It was my fault. I ate a lot of candy. It's Chocolate Factory on set diabetes. Also my mixtape dropping this fall. So that wraps up our picks.

Aaron, you went first. You took Thriller. You want to see the zombie dance from Thriller. The Pulp Fiction diner scene. The moon landing. The party in house party. And then the basketball game in Space Jam. David, you went second, and you took the big mistake scene from Pretty Woman where you would say, ooh, bitch. You'd like to be a dad on the opposing team in the Air Bud situation.

The dance party at the end of Hitch, the final showdown at Independence Day. And the crazy 88 fight from Kill Bill. Killiam William. Ooh, bitch. Another ooh, bitch. Sean, you went third. You took the funny house scene. The football game from Wedding Crashers. You'd like to be ringside when Rocky knocks out Ivan Drago. You'd like to be

hidden. You would like to be in a clandestine situation where you're hiding in the closet in the room where Snoop Dogg claims to have needed 15 condoms. So you can air him out and reveal that he did not need 15 condoms. In front of Daz, Corrupt,

the whole dog town, Michelle A, in front of everybody. Here's what I think is crazy. That you're on some like, oh, they're not gonna hang out with Snoop Dogg if he didn't fuck 15 times. I don't understand what you're trying to dismantle.

They're at his house. They're at his house. I want to see the world burn, man. It starts with saying Snoop can't fuck 15 times in one night. Then you took the Anchorman fight. I went last and I took the Anchorman fight. I went last and I took the, when they

show off Simba for the first time in The Lion King. A West Side Story dance fight. The skyscraper jump from building to building from Fast and the Furious. When Usher shows up at the strip club in Hustlers. And then getting left behind in the candy room and Charlie in the chocolate factory. That's perfect.

That's such a good pick. And to seem smart, I'm going to take it from the book. Atta boy. Yes, I also knew it was a book. Yeah, I knew they wrote. It's a script, I call it. But yeah, sure. We love some good stuff on the board.

You know a book is not a script. I do. This is one of those things that people are going to not know I'm joking. I didn't know. It is astonishing the amount of people that don't quite understand that I'm kidding with a lot of this stuff. Although somebody in Madison, shout out, they came up and they go, I know that somebody said they thought you were the dumb one. And they go, we think you're the sweet one.

I was like, oh, thank you so much. Also, while I'm thinking about it. The sweet dumb one. Yeah, the sweet one. I was like, oh, thank you so much. Also, while I'm thinking about it. The sweet dumb one. Yeah, the sweet dumb idiot. This dude, I think, tried to neg me in Madison. He walked up after the show and it was him and two girls and he walks up and he goes, he's like, hey,

you got a pretty red nose, huh? That's it, straight up. And I was like, whoa, what does that mean? I was like, I don't know, man. Is this some sort of white people thing? I don't know. I mean, I've always had a red face. I'm extremely self-conscious about it. I always have been. But is he insinuating something saying that?

No, I think he was just trying to... Sir, if you spend as much time in the bottom of a gin bottle as I have, you're not going to have any face at all. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, now give me both of the girls you're with. I was on stage recently.

You got a pretty red nose. Yeah, and then his girl goes, I mean, if you want, I can do your makeup. And I'm like, what? And then they just said some shit and then they walked away. So I think what was happening is his girl was laughing and he got that thing where guys feel like weird if their girlfriend enjoys the show.

So they talk a little shit afterwards, but not for real. And then, you know, just to like feel back on top. It's pretty funny, but did you notice you had a red nose? I could be funny, too, if my fucking nose was disgusting. She's like, I noticed that you don't get hard anymore. That's what I noticed, Derek. We have some good stuff on the board.

The food fight scene from Hook, of course. We brought up a lot on here. Also the pirate fight scene. The food fight scene from Hook, of course. We brought up a lot on here. Also the pirate fight scene. The pirate fight scene. When Daniel's son doing the crane kick was on mine. You know, the first half of Jurassic Park would have been tight. Oh my god. I had the first Fast and the Furious race.

Could I have taken Ferris Bueller's whole day off? Could I have taken that? Race wars? From Fast and the Furious? What's a good race wars? The Fast and the Furious The Fast and the Furious one Speaking of blue chips I had the back alley Louisiana game where they found Shaq

in blue chips I'd just be like one of those kids sitting on the tire watching this freak play Well you'd be out there in LSU recruiting them Oh yeah that's true You got them Oh my god play. Well, you'd be out there in LSU gear recruiting them. Oh, yeah, that's true. You got them. Yeah, you got them. You got them.

Oh, my God. And I have the Prince Ali and Aladdin. That's pretty good. Man, that would have been tough. Strongest 10 regular men. Definitely. Fucking hire us to voice cartoons. If you listen this far

and you have the power, make it happen. Come on, man. We want to hear your picks as well. Hit us up on Twitter, All Fantasy Pod, on Twitter, All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to super producer Marissa. Shout out to the AFE subreddit. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon.

Shout out. Getting those extras. Shout out to everyone on the Shaslackity. We love you. Fucking shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Sid. The dude. Shout out to Haji beats.

Shout out to fucking Rashid Wallace. Oh, shout out to she, the action figure. Shout out to the action, the McFarlane action figure. Double Portland up. Man,

shout out to Rashid Wallace. Shout out to Jawan Howard of the Nuggets. Who got one? Yeah, shout out to Jawan Howard. Look out. You know,

I had a LaFonso Ellis jersey back in the day. LaTrell's free well on the Knicks. This is a random. Yeah, shots at one hour. Also, Michigan, Latrell's pretty well on the Knicks. This is a random grouping of dudes. Backwards Latrell, dude. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.

Ooh, bitch! That was a HitGum Podcast.