All Fantasy Everything - Fictional Musicians or Bands (w/ John Roy, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: February 18, 2021J. Lo is real, these musicians aren't. Comedian John Roy joins Sean, David and Ian to draft fictional musicians. Crank up the chunes, bruv.Episode Guest:John Roy @JohnRoyComic IG:&n...bsp;@JohnRoyComicSupport the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbags, watchalongs, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is all fantasy everything.
The podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of pop culture,
from things to do on a rainy day, to songs to get the dance floor going at a wedding,
and everything in between.
On this episode, we're drafting fictional bands and musicians with comedian and writer
John Roy.
I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me as always are Sean Jordan and David Borey.
Let's get to it.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything!
You got Marissa going right out of the gate, dude.
I love it! No, keep that energy! I love it!
Welcome! Welcome to it!
The podcast that had a bagel and a fully caffeinated coffee and a black and white cookie before we started recording this morning because i'm on a cheat day wait and you're and
you're jewish 100 bar mitzvah and everything that's right that's right holy that's right
i've got i'm coming in with a weird energy man yeah man it's not it's on like a freshly mowed
lawn with you getting it done i like it though i like that energy i like it weird we're recording on a we're recording on valentine's day morning i got a bagel from
wexler's which the the not bad john you can talk whatever by the way we don't have to wait for us
i don't have to wait for him to be like deputized or whatever he's sworn in no that is
wait that is how it is on podcasts
acknowledged by the court yet i don't know that is how it is on podcasts we're wrapping up a posse
acknowledged by the court yet I don't know
this is a lawless land as long as you
got a sex shooter
it just comes from morning radio
instincts where you're not supposed to talk till they're like
alright Bob and Tom with
Coast to Coast we've got David Boring
oh I'm here now they're like all right bob and tom with the coast to coast we've got david boring in the studio oh
i'm i'm here now right right we're like no you don't you don't jump in yet we're still doing
we're still doing our bitch of the week segment i like to nominate the ayatollah for bitch of the
week i was in appleton wisconsin and I had to get up and do morning radio.
And I would just after the two gals who were talking about the testicle
festival, which was going on in Appleton.
And I was like,
and I was like anybody who's going to come to your show.
Nobody.
So I get in there and,
and I was like testicle material.
I was the testicle festival
is it next to the daiquiri factory by the way
i walk in and i i sit down i was like oh great just casually i was like oh you know wild i bet
i would have eaten one if you saved it and they're like well you're in luck and they handed me a bull
testicle with ranch and i was like with ranch and i'm like yeah but i was like i don't
need the ranch you know anyway i did it you do need the ranch well and of all the towns to get
caught not doing it in like no one in appleton you're that pussy that wouldn't eat the balls
like you're ruined for the weekend there if i didn't know if i didn't know what it was, it was pretty dank, actually.
It was good, but just knowing it was a bull testicle shouldn't matter.
What did it taste like?
It just tasted like a chicken nugget, kind of.
Yeah, it's chewy.
Yeah, it wasn't bad.
Really?
Honestly.
Like a chicken nugget.
You could give me a bowl of them and not tell me what it was,
and I would be like, that was dope.
You know what it tastes kind of like is chicken gizzards,
if you've ever had a fried chicken gizzard.
Oh, I like that.
It's sort of the same kind of texture.
Flying J in the middle of Montana?
I've had a fucking chicken gizzard, bro.
I got fooled into eating beef tongue for the first time
by my dad cooking it into a beef stroganoff
and not telling me it was tongue.
And me being like, this is amazing.
And then at the end, he was like, it's tongue.
And I was like, oh, all right, I'm in.
Now go pick a hickory switch
ian it's a tongue it's a tongue we we i don't know if you've seen a tongue when they come home
from the deli but they just look like a tongue yeah it's gnarly it's gnarly for sure that would
just be in our fridge on a plate there'd just be a tongue in there like a fucking like john waters
was directing my house huh
they're big they're bigger than you think
they're big bulky ass tongues
yeah well it's thinking your own head and then
move that to the sliders
up to a cow's eyes
move that up to a cow's eyes
whoa I hope no one's listening
to this early in the morning because that's too much Ian
alright
that was too funny you could eat a person tongue too pretty easy right yeah if you want to be in the morning because that's too much ian all right that was too funny you
could eat a person tongue too pretty easy right yeah if you want to be in the grips sure
if you're ready for it if you do too much coke you might accidentally chew it off you know
either that or my ear come on coke heads calm down i don't want to i don't want to hear your
life story give it a rest huh oh oh boy i
sure do miss you fellas i love you a pink crew neck sweatshirt what's going on for valentine's
day valentine's day yeah i got a shout out total drag total drag records in sioux falls i got some
uh i've been going like every week trying to get something from a business that uh you know that i
don't want to go out of business and And this is what I got from Total Drag.
Good call. Yeah. They rule.
If you're in Sioux Falls, go get a record with a mask
on. Who's on their label?
They're a record store.
Oh, okay. So everybody.
Yeah, Prince.
All of it.
Bowie, Springsteen.
They got it all.
They got 3-6 on there, too. Limp Bizkit.
Kylie Minogue.
Men at work, dude.
Speaking of the Aussies.
Neva!
When I needed it, like, needed it,
I did a show in Sioux Falls,
and they gave me the whole door,
like, all the money,
and didn't take any money.
I ended up giving them some,
but they weren't going to take any money,
and that, like, really sat well with me.
Because, you know, those times when you, like, need a few hundred dollars, like, you need it, and that like really sat well with me because i you know those
times when you like need a few hundred dollars like you need it and that you know they were just
like here of course but you know for the games yeah i i ate an egg in a condo in a comedy condo
i ate an egg that had been left there by the previous guy because i couldn't afford to eat
until the next day yeah the san The San Antonio comedy condo.
I got down there a day early.
I had already eaten it.
Like the,
the difference in flight.
Cause I thought my gig started on Thursday,
but it started Wednesday.
So I had to get down there early and I was wiped broke.
And I'm like,
well,
I can eat this fucking egg.
Yep.
Oh man.
Yeah.
I definitely know.
Dude,
you gotta eat it. You gotta eat that egg i had the queen's whip one time
i think i've said this before but i had the queen's whip and i stopped to get some some
snaps on the petro and this dude i was like put in 10 bucks and this dude i i looked back because
i was like it's been going for a minute and i see it's going like 36 37 sorry sorry to pause your
story sean uh he had his girlfriend's car and he went to go get some gas.
Yeah.
Did he say some snaps on the petrol?
Yeah.
Straight MC8 out of Menace to Society.
Only time anyone ever said that, by the way.
Nobody ever said that ever again besides that one scene in that movie.
I look back at the dude and I was like, dog, I said $10 and I was almost
crying. I just didn't have
any money and it's such a frustrating
feeling. Anyway, shout out to Total Drag.
Hell yeah.
That guy who got some snaps on the petrol,
Sean S. Jordan on Twitter, Sean Cougar
Melon Jordan on Instagram.
Suck, dog.
Sean
Carter on Mars, dude. up dog yeah don't uh sean uh sean sean carter on mars dude yeah mr carter tell me why you on mars
how are you how are you doing man what's what's going on how are you celebrating valentine's day
what's what's what have you been up to good chilling uh laura she made like uh a little
riddle puzzle for me in the morning one of the clues was juggalo and then i had to go find another clue in the juggalo book that i read she made you a riddle box oh i don't think she put
that together but she did you have a moment of reckoning where you were like now it's either
in the juggalo book or the juggalo diorama and i came downstairs and checked the juggalo diorama
first and then i was like, she probably put in the book
because she's classy. That's your morning
routine anyways, right? I've always
said about Laura, she's a book, not a diorama.
So, you know, yeah. John, Sean,
I don't know if you, Sean is
unironically a fan of the
Insane Clown Posse.
And not from Michigan.
No.
It's not like when somebody's a yankee fan but
they grew up in the fucking brocks and you're like fine like so yeah no there's no reason
for you to like the clown posse culturally i don't actively listen i will from time to time
do you have a playlist i listen to the great malenko on on occasion i'll listen to the great
malenko all the way through.
If someone said to you, Sean, will you play like five ICP songs?
You would have five.
Sure.
Sure.
So what is there a verse?
Is there like a thing where like if somebody was shitting on you, you'd go like, well, they do have this one verse and that would shut down the haters.
Oh, dude, they have so many verses.
And that would shut down the haters.
Oh, dude, they have so many verses.
What I always say to people when they rag on them,
I say, listen to the great Malenko and tell me that doesn't slap.
That beat is good.
It's well produced.
Stop shaking your head, Dave.
If you're going to make a line,
like if somebody was a Wu-Tang fan
and they were like, well, the master of the Mantis raps
are coming at whatever the fuck.
What would your line be?
Don't do that to me. Now I got to rap an IC icp lyric you just wrapped a wu-tang lyric i gotta wrap an icp
if you were gonna like convince the haters
tell them the line there aren't there aren't any fitting
standing on a bucket trying to fuck it?
Is that the...
Her nipples look like peanuts come to mind, I think is one that they said.
Oh, fuck it.
You're dead anyway, and I'm going to leave your head smack dead in the hallway.
And in the morning when your daddy comes out, ah, his foot's in your mouth thanks to the boogeyman.
That's pretty funny.
Also one of the only lines I could think of under the intense pressure.
It was funny that you did it.
I'm also sweating a little bit now.
Thanks to the three of you for that.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day.
What did you get for Laura?
She got you a riddle box.
Did you get her a Joker card?
Tattoo. He just takes off his shirt i got her a ryan sheckler tattoo on my back
laura check it out it says sheckler from shoulder to shoulder on my back
we already agreed it's gonna be be a shirts off wedding. So it should be.
Yeah.
I mean, I got her a box of candy and I'm,
you know,
I was,
uh,
I look good when she found it.
We'll say that.
You already said what happened.
You don't want to go on wax though.
Oh,
you don't want to tell him.
I could,
I mean,
okay.
You don't have to tell him.
Well,
I did the thing,
you know,
the thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. I was downstairs and I was laying there in my underwear and i put the heart over my bad dude and uh pretty
fun you didn't have to well it's pretty fun visual and i had my like you know legs crossed
arms behind the head kind of just like burt reynolds style yeah boardwalk Empire paused or off? Which was... Paused.
It was paused.
So there was a freeze-frame Steve Buscemi in the room?
Nucky Thompson just probably smoked a cigarette.
How long after you gave her the chocolates did you press play again?
Mora, I got us an ICP record.
Record.
It was a purple record of the great Malenko.
Oh, boy.
When you put the needle to the groove, you really hear how dope Shaggy 2 is, you know?
You want to hear the snaps and the pops.
David Borey is here.
Coolguyjokes77 on Instagram.
The G is silent on Twitter.
How are you doing, buddy?
I'm good. I had an experiment with homemade lasagna last night whoa what'd you have for
dinner though hey sounds like my saturday night uh no i had that lasagna
and a hush fell over the crowd i'm not gonna divulge my valentine situation did you make
the sauce?
What, how, like, or did you?
The noodles.
It was, I was at some friend's house.
Yeah.
It was like a collaborative thing.
But the noodles and all that.
Yeah.
I'd never, I'd never fucked with fresh pasta noodles before.
I'm a fan.
You made the noodles?
You like, like rolled out?
Wow.
Yeah.
Cause they have the, they have the little thing that you like you roll it
out and then you put it in the thing you dump it to dump it to dump it to dump it to dump up
sue carmel swears by she gets the store-bought noodles but she swears by putting them in like
uncooked and then letting the lasagna cook them but that's a different experience well i'm always
for letting the food cook itself i'm like bread Bread bowls, scorpion bowls, any kind of...
What's a scorpion bowl?
For everyone that doesn't know, of course I know, but...
You know, it's like when you go to a Chinese restaurant
and they have that giant bowl of liquor.
Yeah, I did know.
That's why I said I knew.
So thanks for telling everyone else.
It's literally loudmouth soup.
Also, when David and I played for LSU,
it's the game we beat Mississippi State in.
The scorpion bowl. Yeah. The Scorpion Bowl.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Scorpion Bowl.
It was brought to you by Capital One.
You might remember that.
Yeah, the Capital One Scorpion Bowl.
You don't remember?
I didn't know you guys yet.
I was still upset.
Was it your LSU had the black and white cookie defense
of the safety tandem, me and David?
That's what we were.
We were the black and white cookie defense.
The black and white cookie defense?
Surprisingly enough, he wasn't who
you thought he would be and I wasn't who I was.
It was different.
We flipped it on him.
That was part of it.
Yeah, it was like a reverse yin-yang.
Did you guys do that when you're both in the
three-point and you do that, like one rolls, one does a
jump over the other and you switch sides? Did you do that?
Oh, like for stunting? Yeah. We were doing that on the sideline though dude yeah we also were doing
it in the clubs it was oh six all the lsu clubs yeah i bet you they have some club what city is
lsu in baton rouge oh yeah baton down the hatches that's where it came from man i went to an icp show
there one time and they had to batten down the hatches. That's where it came from. Man. I went to an ICP show there one time, and they had to batten down the hatchets.
You know what I'm talking about?
Whoop, whoop.
I do know what you're talking about, yeah.
That was funny.
That was pretty funny.
Yeah, I do know that.
Batten down the hatchets.
They should make a shirt.
Shut up.
All right?
I'm laughing like i have consumption over here
oh okay we'll try it out on john sean john if you died from consumption back 100 years ago what
was it oh is that tuberculosis
everybody i thought it was alcoholism no i know a couple people got my back i can't remember who but
some people came out on twitter thank you for the writers out there for the real ones
he said no
no it wasn't how's colorado david so the lasagna turned out great. How's everything else going?
Oh, it's so beautiful.
It's cold as shit, though, dude.
I bet.
Yeah, it's like negative, huh?
Yeah, last night when I was walking home, it said feels like negative 11.
Oof-ta.
Which is like, I don't, you know, love that. But I'll be back in warmer climes soon.
Hell yeah.
It's never that cold in Portland, right? Like, you are immune to... It's like yeah it's never that cold in portland right like you are immune to
no it's like it was like 20 it was like 20 it doesn't get that cold here yeah it's that arctic
blast everybody's going nuts we're in the freezing part of la it's 50 that's yeah we're in the dead
coldest los angeles month right now and it's like 48 midnight i put a pendleton blanket
on my bed because it was so cold and it was yeah we did that we put the pendleton on our bed
on our bed uh about i love the fake winter without ever really committing to winter
you get some cider
i used to wear shorts in this kind of weather every day I had a hat on in my own living room. We're not going to turn the heat on, though. Come on.
I used to wear shorts in this kind of weather every day.
Every day.
Chicago, there was always guys that were like March 1st shorts guys.
Like if it goes under 40, the shirt, you know.
Yeah, absolutely.
I was a fat kid, so I was shorts every day, every day.
Are you more able to withstand the temperatures?
That's what I told myself, but I don't think it was true because it was all calf meat out there.
And that's just the buffest part of a fat guy's body is the calves.
That's what I was just going to say.
It's like this weird illusion where you're like, oh, I must be hotter.
No, you're not hotter.
No, you're just colder.
You're just colder you're just colder and nobody's like oh what a man in shorts everybody's like what are you doing you fat
idiot no one has ever been respected for it like no oh my god you're some kind of super person
nobody outside of the nba nobody out of the nba has been respected in shorts.
It just hasn't happened.
David Cross.
Unless you're like a safari guide who saved someone from a lion,
or if you're John Wall,
and those are the only people who have been respected in shorts.
That's it.
And I guess the guitar player for ACDC, probably him too.
Does David Cross count from the 90s?
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
David Cross.
He wore a lot of shorts.
I mean, it's not like he was like the mayor.
It's like respect to him.
And he was just telling jokes.
It wasn't like he needed the respect of like a pilot or a surgeon or something.
I mean, he was wearing shorts and that guy's got knees.
You know what I'm talking about?
It was a brave choice yeah those were those
were billowy as a fat guy you got to put the it's like in the in a bakery window you put the most
delicious looking stuff in the window you know what i mean so like as a fat guy your calves
the big calves that have been pressured crucibled into hardness yeah those are what's in the display
i get it now the pop and calves you
got to put them on the display i still do it i still do i will say though go ahead david
no it's just to say but in the winter nobody cares no they don't it was stupid
everybody's bundled my my internal uh thermometer now that i since i've lost weight i i am cold all the fucking time all like my
girlfriend who's you know tiny or whatever whatever she would normal like isn't cold i
still weigh like 265 and i'm like fucking freezing sitting next to her it throws you off blanket to
no blanket no matter what is gonna be you're wearing a blanket in the jungle you take that
blanket off you're gonna be you know what i mean yeah you're wearing a blanket in the jungle, you take that blanket off, you're going to be... You know what I mean? You're going to be used to the jungle
blanket.
Jungle blanket, maybe you feel.
The jungle. I think that was fine.
Something about that term, I don't like the way it
rolls off the tongue.
Feels like it's yelled out of
the side of a speeding car.
What do you think they would mean like in the world where that's
something people yell i can't even maybe it's like some type of a hairy jungle people and they're
like i feel like shave that jungle blanket and they turn down that boogie woogie music i don't
even know what it means it just hurts
yeah it's just like specific you're like how did he know i was estonian
uh john roy is here john roy comic on twitter uh is it john roy comic on instagram as well
yeah yeah twitter and instagram are the same no reason to confuse people
as well? Yeah, yeah. Twitter and Instagram are the same. No reason to confuse people.
Across platform?
Across platform? You're asking a lot
of somebody if they're like, no, I miss
I miss, but I'm also, no.
You got one thing.
That's what I remember. Someone who has six names
on there? Yeah, you don't have any
burner accounts, dude? No.
I got burner Herzogs.
That's a good thing, bro. That's a good thing,
bro.
That's a good thing,
mate.
Cause we keeps it safe on AFE,
mate.
We keeps it safe on AFE golf.
All right.
Yeah.
It's all right.
We talk through this.
All right.
Now what else you pick up?
We watch line of duty obsessively.
And so now we got Amazon acorns just to watch that but now we have
we live in a world of british crime that's i get it i love it i get it john what have you got what
have you got going on man have you been doing i've been doing good uh well my wife is pregnant
uh and yeah thank you so that's we're uh about we got like 20 more weeks to go So we're just
Trying to be safe and healthy
And I'm working from home
I'm doing a lot of writing
Just the Venmo hustle
Yeah
I'm doing the Venmo grind
But yeah
Just hoping to
Come back and do stand-up again
I'm not ready to do it in these times.
I'm not going to roll the dice on it.
Same here.
I'm lucky enough not to need it immediately, so I'm able to hold off.
But, man, it's just the one time I did it, I was just sitting in the green room having wiped down everything.
And I'm like, this isn't enjoyable. No one is at at the show I'm just endangering them like this is bad so
I haven't done it for probably six months seven months it's been a year since I've done stand-up
comedy it'll be like a year in a couple days yeah probably gonna suck bro I probably will
I'm probably gonna come back and suck i'm also like
i'm not like i don't know by the time i do stand-up comedy again i will also be i've been on
like a fairly intense diet john so i'll be like a completely different person who hasn't done
stand-up in like a year and a quarter by the time i do it i don't know what the fuck i'm gonna i'm
gonna go up and do the look i can take my finger off was so relevant like that last thing we wrote in 19
like just does it what world is that written in like i have no idea about boomers who gives a
fuck like like the thing that was working that i was so excited about is like this
boomer gen z thing who gives a shit everyone's had a disease for a year
do you and so John where can people
check out shit you've been doing lately if they want
to dig in deeper yeah
well why not go start with my
John Roy comic Twitter and Instagram
handle and then another good
way to I've been writing a lot of stuff for
Vulture of
pieces called the great bits
where I just go into different stand up
bits and talk about like kind of what the comedian's doing.
I always feel when people write about stand-up, they don't really write about what the comic's actually doing up there.
It's always just about like they talked about this.
But it's like they're actually doing a million things every fucking minute to try to make everybody laugh.
And so that's kind of what I try to get at when I write for Vulture about stand-up.
I read the Nick Vatterall one you did recently.
I thought it was great.
It's really awesome.
Great bit.
That is.
Yeah.
I mean,
that guy is a crusher.
Yeah.
Like in full commitment,
like no,
just like,
yeah,
this is the bit.
So if it fails,
fuck it.
You know what I mean?
Like it's always good to see,
but yeah.
So I'm on TV though.
That's fucking amazing on his debut he gets fallon to play along with it like it's it's pretty ballsy
like he fully commits to fucking maybe this is gonna fucking eat the dick and i'm never gonna
do television again high stakes that's the only way comedy works yeah completely um so check that out i'm
ian carmel on twitter oh wait go please please please uh just go on apple music or or spotify
i've got three albums and an ep of stuff that's out now so just like i would just say do that
there's uh tons of john roy uh content from his special thing records that they can get at.
Hey, label me.
Shout out to the special thing.
Hell yeah.
You guys should get like chains or tattoos or something.
We already got them, David.
Little McMenamin heads around our friend in space.
He's the label.
We got them, bro.
So they know.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm on Kill Rockstarstar so i have like a cardigan
what kind of i feel like in the early days of hip-hop that was expected like we rolling with
rush who rushtown man like they would keep their whole fucking other people like on the record
like like comedians should do that more sean roy sounds like someone has watched Crush Groove.
Is that what that was?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm all about it.
Am I to take a hint of Crush Groove in your accent?
This wine is great.
Full body.
And is that a note of Crush Groove?
Do I taste Blair Underwood? I love that there were movies back then in the 80s where it was just like,
is it crazy?
Make a movie now.
They were like movie studios sitting around waiting for somebody like,
hey, people are breakdancing.
They're doing what?
Write a movie.
And then within four months, there was a movie in the movie theater
that they made from a fad that they only heard about.
I love it.
Yeah.
That is crazy.
No time to name it. We'll call it break it. Yeah. That guy is crazy. No time to name it.
We'll call it break-in.
Yeah.
There's skateboarding.
What?
Make a movie.
Now.
Gleaming the Cube.
Make a movie that has nothing to do with skateboarding and a title that's never, ever going to go
back to skateboarding and a term that's not real.
Yeah.
Dude, you pulled the ripcord on that.
Now we're going to talk about it for an hour, bro.
It's supposed to be called
Brothers Justice.
Hey, Sean, instead of gleaming the cube,
how about you start dropping the tood
about gleaming the cube, dude?
Oh, no!
How about you chill out and take a lewd, bruv?
Ooh, I like that, dude.
Cupid's not the only one shooting arrows
today.
All right.
All right.
My name's Ian Carmel.
I'm not.
At Ian Carmel on Twitter.
That was very good, Sean.
At Ian Carmel on Instagram. I heard it.
I liked it.
At Ian Carmel on Jewish Strava app.
Did I do that last time?
I don't remember.
I don't know what Strava.
Is that the T1?
It's a bicycle ride.
It's an app that you use to record your bicycle ride lengths
or your walks or your jogs or runs or whatever.
I got a bike last week, and I've been going on hella bike rides.
I've done 10-mile rides two days in a row, bruvs.
Do you like biking better than walking around?
If you're just taking it in the neighborhood?
It's all right.
I like both, so I like to be able to like throw my
headphones on and go for a walk because you don't want to wear headphones on a bike in la because
you will get right killed by a car uh you're dead person but it is it's so fun dude just like the
wind like blowing on your face and just like i was riding around to like sundown last night it was
gorgeous there's paths that go up and down the la river that are beautiful have you gone to the the frog town
bike place the spokes cafe no yeah there's a bike coffee shop and burger and fry place
with where all the bike bicycle people congregate in frog town right on the bike path and then you just go
from spokes and then go all the way to you know at water on the bike path and back and all sorts
of bike people hang out there like my wife and i do walks and we always see like you know 14
bike people waiting at spokes i can't help but notice just a hint of disdain when i keep hearing bike people. Well, here's the slight annoyance is your mask policy
is a little loose among LA's bike aficionados.
I've noticed that too.
I can assure you I'm fully masked up the entire time
I'm out of my house on a bike and everything.
Yeah, I'm sure.
So if you're sensing a little,
it's that I'm not. So if you're sensing a little, it's that Matt is masked up.
Or they have a pod that includes 15 fellow bikers.
I don't know.
What do you call a pod of bikers?
What do you call a group of, is it just bikers?
There's not like a helmet of bikers or something.
Yeah, it's not like a thing.
Well, it depends if it's being recorded or not, David.
Helmet with a U, though, right?
It's actually a jungle blanket of bikers.
That's where it comes from.
It still sounds bad.
It sounds bad.
It doesn't sound good.
That's a real movie that they don't show anymore.
Remember Disney made the jungle blanket,
but then we don't...
There's still that one song
that's from there and we don't like it like there's still that one song that's from there
and we don't like it but we have to deal with it it radicalized sydney poitier yeah it was like
that was that was the final straw with the studio system
guess who's not doing jungle blanket too
oh guess who's coming to terms with a system that you can't win if you operate within
what else have i got going on i should i i've i've had i don't know if i've talked about on
here i've had like asthma related issues over the last like three months or so where i haven't
really been able to take like a full deep breath and that's why i kind of haven't been on like the late late show but i think i finally got an address and got
on the right inhaler so i should be back on the late late show within a couple weeks i'll be back
there sitting at my desk great fucking make it making making observations barbs getting tested
twice a week and hopefully get that fucking vaccination shot soon that's what i'm looking
for god damn yeah my mom's about to get it i'm so
my parents give a shit about me yeah yeah that's all i like give it to my mother which i've never
said before give it to my mother and uh i'm thrilled about it i mean you don't have to and
i'm fine i don't i don't i don't give a rip if i haven't oh well i care if you have it i hope you
get it i appreciate it yeah that's like an ic attitude. I don't give a fuck whether I get COVID.
Yeah, that is true. Yeah, I don't give a shit, dude.
With the amount of Faygo he has in his system,
there's no way the COVID virus is going to live, dude.
All I'm saying, who's ever
seen a juggalo and COVID in the same room
at once? No, man. Not me.
I've had it for a decade.
That's why we had the gathering, man.
Herd immunity. Herd immunity plus a good time.
The gathering. we had the gathering man herd immunity herd immunity plus a good time yeah they canceled the gathering this year they're better than so many people by the way
yeah that's true that would be so funny to put on a flyer as herd immunity plus a good time
come out to the show
tony romas
it feels like outside of la and i'm sure people will tell us in the comments in the comments
twitter or whatever that this isn't true but it feels like in la it's really hard to like
pick up a vaccine in other places i'm hearing about like oh this like this pharmacy
had extras so i just got some or like my mom got some from being there when my dad got his
yeah and they were just like oh well you get here you take one it's like oprah everywhere else it's
like they're just they're under the chairs the less people like south dakota's doing a great
job so it's like the less people easier it is and plus just easier to get to it like la is so complicated with everything so you know i think that's it
we're supposed to have a high risk people in la are supposed to get it by march and because i uh
because i longboard down hills without a helmet i'm considered high risk
dude let me just tell you the kind of risks i'm taking yo like i started my own business all right
i watched ian one time right in front of a cop took his brain bucket off pissed in it
threw it on the ground and longboarded down the biggest hill they got yeah all right so
fucking give me the vaccine don't you know I'm an old co? All right.
You do crazy shit, dude.
I do crazy shit.
I bought Bitcoin 10 years ago, dog.
I'm high risk.
High risk as a motherfucking dog?
Sometimes I mix ketchup and soy sauce.
When I text ladies, I say H-A-H-A-H-A-H.
I don't even leave an open ends it on an h
ends it on an h i have an ocelot off the leash in my house dude and he is not housebroken
every time i walk indoors put the vaccine in here doc
i've only seen the last matrix
that movie about the twins right yeah the last matrix is like the first matrix they're like
these people are eating you and by the last like we get like a peace treaty or something we can
still we can still like coexist with them like what The people that are boiling us in a battery box?
I'll tell you the truth.
I straight up did not understand the last matrix.
Nobody did.
I don't know what was going on.
They made peace with them.
It's ridiculous.
That's ridiculous.
Then why were we doing this?
I know.
It was the whole thing about money, bro.
Money.
Open your mind's eye, bro.
Money.
All right.
Money, bro. Jesus. Follow the CCTV Chrome about money bro money open your mind's eye bro money all right let me bro
jesus follow the cctv chrome trial bro why don't you watch zeitgeist instead of the matrix
now we are gathered here not only to watch zeitgeist but also to draft fictional bands
or musicians bands musicians you know either this shit up i'm stoked i can't john you suggested this
to me and i was it was one of those ones
where i was like holy shit i can't believe we haven't done this topic before it's such a good
topic dude when you start thinking about it there's way more than you think when there's
some deep cuts too that's like this isn't like all on the surface i don't think so this i'm excited
yeah now the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rolling game of rock
paper scissors played between the three of you and we throw on
shoot. Here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
Fuck you, David.
Oh, David wins! The rock beats
both scissors. David threw poop smasher and John and I
both threw poop cutter, so David wins.
God damn it. It's Valentine's Day, Sean.
Yeah, well, one's for assholes, one's not. You know what I mean?
Now, David, as
the winner of rock paper scissors it
is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before you do that i will
remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that great question let's say you have a rat in
your walls and you are trying to trap this rat and it goes and it poops in your crawl space so
you set traps in your crawl space. Your hand's up, David.
What's going on?
I believe you did this last episode.
Well, no, I didn't
because it hasn't pooped in this new place yet.
So I'm frustrated.
Are you going back and forth?
Wait, did I stop and you actually know
how a serpentine draft works?
No, good, good, good.
I didn't think so.
So I'll just keep going with what I was going to do, won't I?
No, you always need this to demystify the draft.
So go ahead.
I mean, yeah. Thank you. Thanks, bro. So it's like if it's pooping in your crawl space you always you always need this to demystify the draft so go ahead i mean yeah thank you thanks
bro so it's like if it's pooping in your crawl space and then you set a trap in your crawl space
and then you notice that it is now pooped in your kitchen behind your stove so now it's in the house
and you freak out so you set a trap behind the stove and then the next day you notice some poop
a little bit away from that trap that
you set in the kitchen. So it has pooped in the kitchen twice. So you set another trap over by
that poop. And then the next day it has gone back to the crawl space and pooped in the crawl space.
And you're like, well, this rat clearly is going to poop in the crawl space. Just to be sure,
you put a trail cam up, you get some trail cam footage of the rat you have proof
that it was in your crawl space so you set another trap in your crawl space only to notice that it
is now pooped in the kitchen again in what seems to be an endless cycle going back and forth of me
not wanting to murder this rat and wanting to catch it humanely if that's a word but you gotta
get a gun i'm probably gonna have to get a gun dude you gotta mark it dude there's no room for any more guns cctv i don't know how in your house on cctv
this is all right here dcr thanks yeah this is disrespectful bro it's disrespectful i don't know
how he's finding empty floor space to shit on there's so many guns in the house already i
honestly don't know where it's like he's moving my lugers and my Berettas on top of my AKs to find places to poop on the floor.
First of all, basically what it means, fourth in the first round, first in the second round.
But if you want to be.
You got to kill this rat, dude.
Yeah, no.
If you let this slide, next it's going to be an opossum.
Then it's going to be pigeon shitting on your house.
I can't kill this rat, John.
Then it's going to be opossum then it's gonna be pigeon shitting on your house this rat it's gonna be teens on your lawn maybe i'll just go out i'll go out in the yard in the snow and just
scream coward until it comes outside and fights me that'll work and admits let me tell you what's
really gonna happen here all right you're gonna keep pussy footing around and sorry to cuss on
valentine's day but you're gonna keep pussy footing around with this rat putting out these
humane no-kill traps trying to coax it out with with with music
and and charm and whatever and then one day dude one day dude one day the rat's gonna show up with
a gun and now it's the rat's house uh-huh and you better hope it's summertime by the time that
happens that that is probably a worldwide planet of the rats type scenario though like you've gotten to where the rats have guns like
there's problems like a cascading global emergency that sean is just a tiny part of
yeah okay king of the castle i'm gonna process all this happen after the scene i'm gonna process
all this i'm gonna unpack it a little bit And then next week I will have new information for you. How's that?
All right.
I'm just saying I've seen it happen to less lesser men.
Yeah.
Oh,
David,
David always says I'm the least man he knows.
And he just said there were lesser men.
I've never said that.
David,
actually,
for everybody who listens,
David's really mean to me.
what?
That's bullshit.
Oh,
I get it. Yeah. Everybody used to stick up for me no i miss
you so much man i can't wait till we can see each other i hate you see that do you hear what i said
that's him calling me the least man david's flipping me off right now y'all can't see it
david says shit to marissa that's not it happy belated birthday to Marissa, by the way. Just a couple days.
Thank you.
The superest.
The superest of producers.
You had a virtual birthday party, right?
I did.
I had a virtual party in...
I had a virtual birthday party in virtual reality.
I had a birthday party in virtual reality.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Real party virtual reality.
Exactly.
Yes.
My invite must have gotten lost in the email.
Huh?
Huh? It only went out to the exclusive friends who have vr headsets i know i just wanted to say that bit that the
email you see he wrote it last night yeah yeah i wrote it way before your birthday just waiting
for a virtual birthday yeah it was a lot of fun everyone was in crazy avatars i was in a goku
avatar for most of it wow sick it so, it feels like a fever dream.
It's really crazy.
I would recommend everyone get headsets and join the virtual reality.
It's a fun way to socialize in quarantine.
How much money am I looking at?
If I want to start like from the ground floor,
I just wanted like,
Hey,
I want to be virtual tomorrow.
What am I looking at?
I think the quest to starts at $300.
That's not bad.
You got that.
I can get you that.
Yeah. We can get you that yeah
I'll take the second of those two David's yeah
go ahead and get it for me that'd be dope thanks
you don't want to know how
yeah no I don't care
I'm not sweating it
it's not going to be clean but it's going to
show up I've filed a serial number off before
I'm not I can file it off a VR headset
listen I'll give you I'll give you a VR
headset for the body of a dead rat.
Yeah, dude.
All right.
Bounty gates back on.
You better show us that rat on the next call.
Yeah, we won't see it.
Dead body.
That's what Marissa wants for her birthday, dude.
Bring her a dead rat.
Okay.
I'll make a cat that way.
Yeah.
Everybody else Venmo her $ dollars or you're all going
to prison now david with that in mind what will the order of today's draft be i i am gonna go
david john sean ian because that is the way it is on my uh my zoom, I really wanted to go first.
And also let you say Sean John.
Yes.
And that was really what the opening was.
That's really what most goals are.
We get Sean John in there.
David could have just read the butt of any of his sweatpants,
but instead he chose to go the order.
Those all say juicy.
Yeah.
Or tumble, depending on what era of my life i bought them in
mine say but fuckminster fuller on the back
that's a quality sweat pant though i mean you wouldn't want to wear that normally but when you
feel the fabric it's worth it it's it's it's wick it wicks yeah're like you know I know I probably look foolish
with this slogan on me but
well they're terry cloth aren't they
yeah they're terry cloth
when you feel that
no he bought them at a store called terry's cloths
when you feel that butt fuckminster
feel it's there's nothing like it
oh it's one of a kind
one of a kind
nothing holds your ass like a butt fuckster
the name you can't forget it's craftsmanship it's what it boils down to is craftsmanship
and three and three generations of passing and passing on knowledge that you can't learn at
you know oh yeah it's like the dul Trading Co. of asshuckers.
Yeah.
Exactly right.
Exactly right.
David, you've determined the order,
so we'll get your picking first.
We'll get to your pick right after this short break.
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welcome back to all fantasy everything the only podcast that has ever existed the only form of
media that has ever existed uh ever ever ever of media that has ever existed. Ever.
Ever, ever.
In fact, if there is anything else,
and we're just hearing initial reports of this,
is that there are three albums and an EP by the comedian John Roy,
who you should listen to,
and his writing on Vulture as well.
But that's it.
That's the only other medium.
David Borey, what will the first pick
of the fictional musicians
All Fantasy Everything Draft be? I mean, this is, I think that everybody, medium david boy what will the first pick of the fictional musicians all fantasy everything draft
be i mean this is i think that everybody all the david boy heads out there is pretty obviously i
was going to take power line from a goofy movie that's like that's that's nice not even i don't
even have to expand on it it's just yeah tevin campbell we all know it's perfect it's perfect
it's a perfect pop performance in a movie.
If there's anyone who hasn't listened to All Fantasy Everything before,
if this is your first listen, obviously we've hooked you by now,
and you're going to go back and listen to everything else.
You will hear hours of content about Powerline.
But just in case, David, give the headlines here.
It's voiced by.
Voiced by the one and only Tevin Campbell
of Can We Talk Fame.
Two hit songs,
Eye to Eye and Stand Up and Stand Out.
Great live, not live performances,
but great performances in the movie.
Just a very classic pop man in a space suit.
He learns the perfect cast,
does it as a dance move. He has a
very voluptuous backup singers. It's just everything I want in a movie about dogs and
in my life. Yeah. I mean, I think that was, that was the cliff notes, right?
That should have been on the back of the, that should have been right on the back of the case.
You don't think I petitioned for that?
Giant companies for the first time trying to like, I mean, there's like cartoons,
but like Disney and the other big animation studios
trying to confront like hip hop and R&B for the first time
led to some like rad looking shit.
It was nothing that anyone in real life was wearing,
but like the power line war.
in real life was wearing but like the power line wore
how they was
a 55 year old animator
from Culver City
or whoever
he was like they must be
dressed in like space suits
it went to
Korea too to finish it
off in the 80s so like
there's two sets of not hip hop
culture filtering through this look and now the kidss so like there's two sets of not hip-hop culture filtering through this look
and now the kids are dressing like powerline they ended up being right they were just ahead of their
time oh yeah powerline the burger king kids club like what they had the looney tunes dressing like
and shit like that it was like whoa interesting kids club kid had like Spiked Hair and Oakley's and then he had
a VR adapter.
He had a VR adapter.
He was Marissa. Marissa was
in the Burger King Kids Club.
I don't think that existed.
I don't think the technology he had
existed at all.
Do you remember the commercials? He would just
get a TV remote that he would just press and shit.
That was what we thought
technology was.
He's like, oh, I got my burger, kid.
Kids love the remote.
So how do we incorporate that?
Maybe he's got a magic remote.
I'm going to leave for lunch.
When I come back, I want some kind of kids club.
You know what?
Don't bother coming back.
There's no such thing as a magic remote.
All right?
What if we put out a remote that tastes like a BK Big Fish?
I like where Ian's going.
Wait, yeah.
Let's work with that a little more.
What if we partner with Magnavox
to put a mayonnaise button on actual pre-existing remotes?
A ketchup squirt right in the mouth.
Oh, man. Powerline, first pick first pick excellent pick had to get it to do it sean time for your first pick i'm second yeah no john oh i oh it went john john if i'm
drafting if i'm drafting fake musicians uh i would say the all-time number one pick is the kid from Purple Rain,
who is basically Prince.
He just got Prince.
Yeah, but you don't get the weird Seventh Day in Venice weird shit.
Anything you don't like about Prince is not in that Prince.
You only get the Purple Rain stuff, and he's cooler than the real Prince.
All his lines are written for a movie so yeah the kid
that's yeah i get it it's all purple motorcycles and bad relationships with his dad yeah the dad
kills himself that's a little dark but yeah you know it just makes the real prince cooler so i
would say the kid that that's my guy you know he's too bold i've only seen purple rain once i gotta watch
it again oh it was a long time ago well i'm gen x so we we that was you know the first movie with
boobs in it that you saw prince was the biggest thing on the chart like if you're like you were
like i was 10 i think when that came. Man. That's just an age thing.
It's also a great name for a movie.
Yeah.
Purple Rain.
I feel like he pitched it off the name,
and then he had nothing else to do with it
until the first day of shooting.
Then he just showed up, and he was like,
I want to make a movie.
Purple Rain.
And then he threw a smoke bomb and disappeared.
I feel like there was no script.
There was just different kinds of perfume he smelled in the room and said,
act accordingly.
And then like, everyone did their shit.
Act accordingly.
They just let it incense and started filming.
Yeah.
Cleansing yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. Absolutely. gotta respect him putting morris day in the time and writing songs that are really good for them because it's
like the opposite of stand-ups that bring some terrible opener where you're like really he's
he's in theaters he brought that guy like prince brought morris day in his own movie he like made
himself follow him and they. And they were like,
they were like rivals in Minnesota,
right?
If I recall right.
Yes,
I think they were.
I think that part is real.
Morris Day,
Morris Day also,
funny,
funny,
fun fact.
He had his own like,
uh,
boy group shoot off and it was called process of the do rags process and the do rags.
Yeah.
I'm going to put a,
I'm going to put a YouTube in the chat.
Is the process to get wavy?
Yeah, it's to process your hair, Sean.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to put a link in the chat.
Anyways, keep going. I'm fine in processing.
That's awesome. That's amazing.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
They brought up a mirror on stage
for him to check himself on in the middle of a song.
It's fucking amazing.
That's... More than a day at a time? than the time yeah yeah fantastic that's a great pick also the kid great nickname it's him it's ted williams
and those are the kids yeah well mike mulloy would have you believe he's the third in that lineage
i've people from boston everybody from boston the kid needs to go to the mall vosotros is the child
for the formal you me the kid that's the that's what it breaks down to uh excellent sean time for your first
pick my first pick i had to go to the world of rap uh they're coming to us straight out of low
cash i'm gonna pick specifically mc gusto
yeah stab master arson dude it's i heard mike was the other one mike stab master arson and mc gusto MC Gusto. Yeah. Stabmaster Arson.
Dude, it's... Dead Mike was the other one?
Dead Mike, Stabmaster Arson, and MC Gusto.
Dead Mike did I'm Black.
Yeah.
I'm black, y'all.
In Video Mania, I walked past that for years before.
And I'm of the ilk of somebody who would love that movie.
And I walked past it for years because I was like, that looks corny is what I thought.
Back when I thought I was like a gangster.
And then I watched it after that.
And I was just like, I could have been watching this
for five years prior to right now.
It's so fantastic.
Everything about it.
Charlie Murphy, that part where he's like,
oh, your posse is supposed to be deep.
And he just flips the table over.
And they're like, whoa, dude.
They're just the absolute best just completely stole their identity chris elliott kills it they're fantastic perfect and they
had good music that is good separate from them from the movie mike york i think is clutch for
this i mean the first two picks have obviously had that some of these probably won't but like i think that is that is like vital for like a good fake band it's getting yeah how good is the
actual song right in uh chocolate i think it was chocolate skate video mike york used uh straight
out of low cash as his part as a song to skate to it's perfect it's so good yeah this is just a
dope song and just the whole idea far be it for me to like
just start a chris elliott uh appreciation moment off of a cb4 pick because that's the
get a life man that was one of the funniest shows back in the day let's do it chris elliott's
fucking amazing yeah something about mary he's so dope and something about mary he's my favorite
part of that movie you ever had a white head on your eyeball have you watched the old letterman's when he starts out when he's the guy under the bleachers they're from like 82
it's the first time he's ever on tv he said he goes i'll be back here dave i'm watching you dave
he's like a weird dude who lives in the set of the letterman show awesome and that's like and
it's like probably 5 10 of these segments where he's like weird dude in the bleachers talking to Dave.
Like you can find them all on YouTube now.
I bet that's perfect.
Just a fucking awesome career, too.
I was watching Groundhog.
I watched Groundhog's Day on Groundhog's Day.
He's good in Groundhog's Day.
So did I.
So did I.
Laura and I did the same shit.
Yeah.
You might as well this year.
You know what I mean?
Dude, I bet I said those same exact words where i'm like what are we doing let's watch
groundhog day we can't go to our normal groundhogs groundhogs day like galas and balls now so we
might as well watch the movie question that's been been posed by zach tiscani quite a bit
nine inches dude oh my the size of my penis. I appreciate it.
How long do you think Groundhog Day was?
You think it was nine inches?
No.
People have done
studies on this,
extrapolating how long
it would take to master
a language and an instrument
and all that.
Harold Ramis wanted it
to be a certain amount of time,
so he was thinking
like 10,000 years.
That's what I heard yeah yeah and do you
know murray never talked to him again after that they got in a big fight because harold ramus i
think wanted or no one of them wanted it to be a lot darker than it was harold what the main thing
was that in their relationship before murray had always improvised and done whatever he wanted
and ramus just kind of let him do it because because Murray was the star and that's why Ramis was allowed to direct.
But on this movie, Ramis is like,
no, this is my life's work
and you're going to do what I say.
I'm going to direct you.
You're not going to improvise.
I'm going to make sure you do the script
and then I'm going to edit it the way I want.
And Murray was furious and never talked to him again.
So even though Murray got all the accolades for that
because his friend got to make the move, they never spoke again. So even though Murray got all the accolades for that because his friend
got to make the movie,
they never spoke again.
They made up on that.
Like, didn't they make up
when Harold Ramis
was like on his deathbed?
They talked again.
I don't know. Is that true?
Like, maybe.
Ramis's daughter wrote a book
and I'm pretty sure
it's in there that they
eventually like when
he knew he was dying.
Yeah, but it always
did always suck so bad to me
that like if you're Ramis,
like, yes, you got to make the movie of your dreams, but the guy will never thank you for it like yeah and a costume
that's such a specific movie too that it needs to have you need there's certain beats need to get
hit and if it was just murray going oh my god look at me i'm over here i'm doing a little thing on
the piano oh my god like God. That would be terrible.
Oh, yeah, man.
This loose Jim Carrey-style Groundhog Day would be awful.
You know the same thing happened to Spike Lee and Ray Allen on He Got Game?
He went back to basketball after that. Yeah, they haven't talked since.
Ray Allen, he wanted to make the character Dominican.
It was a whole other thing.
Yeah, man.
The accent, Spike said, I'm sorry, the accent is just broad and kind of offensive.
Yo soy Jesus.
He was like, no, no, no.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
Cug and Bastello on the sidelines?
Yeah.
I'm going to edit that out, Ray.
Walter. CB4. Oh. I'm sorry. Chuck and Bastello on the sidelines? I'm going to edit that out, Ray. Walter?
CB4.
That's a great pick.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah, CB4.
I thought I could get it second.
No.
No.
No.
So who is up?
Cartwheel.
It's time for me.
It's me.
I got to go with the classic.
I got to go with fucking Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.
Yeah. I also thought I could get that early. I thought I got to go. I got to go with the classic. I got to go with fucking Dr. Teeth and the electric mayhem. Yeah.
I also thought I could get that.
I thought I could get that.
I thought I'd be able to come back around and grab that one.
That was Laura's suggestion.
Mother trucker.
Had to get it.
John Roy, what you don't know about me is that for about three straight years, I wore
a t-shirt with animal's face on it probably three times a week
in middle school i did not know that probably about three times a week so i was i was way back
on dr teeth i just fucking i just fucking love i love the muppets i've been watching a lot more
muppets like lately in quarantine just just to get the vibe and uh yeah they're fucking fantastic
i love animal on the drums the animators had to figure out how to like like how would he play this very specific levon helm song that's on the show this week like
they had to like figure out how the electric man would play elton john goodbye
like they had to like beat it out right like puppeteers figuring out how they're gonna all right actually if you were
gonna play the drums i bet that was a bitch oh my god i bet every week like the guys like seriously
my goddamn daughter's about to graduate there's a drum solo in this song taxes are due i don't i
don't see how i get them both done
i'll bet you that henson was a stickler too like i bet there was like oh yeah for sure
get under there and make him look like kermit okay for real i want to see john bonham not kermit so
do it dr teeth was so funny welcome to. You know, and just like talking all wrong.
He was apparently,
so they're all based on real musicians
and like he was based on Dr. John.
Okay.
The new,
like Dr. Teeth was.
Oh.
Animal.
Genesis.
With Keith Moon,
Lee Von Helm,
John Bonham,
Ginger Baker.
Like those,
those like,
those ones. And I guess I'm reading right now. Let me see who the other, Ginger Baker, like those ones.
And I guess I'm reading right now.
Let me see who the other.
Floyd Pepper, they don't say.
But he was just Janice was obviously Janice Joplin.
Right, right.
Janice is the one who's all like that, you know.
They say Pink Floyd, Floyd Pepper.
Oh, that makes sense anyway yeah they were
just they were just awesome so fun on the muppet show great to see in any movie just a fun fucking
vibe and yeah dr teeth is so funny an animal just a fucking icon and they still look like musicians
look like in los angeles right now like if five hipsters walked into the drawing room and they
were banned they could look exactly you would totally
believe it if they were dressed as Dr. T
it's a perfectly
valid look for a musician
I've met several Janice's
since I moved to LA and in Portland as well
of course yeah
so that is my that's my first
pick and then with my second pick
don't do it this is tricky
I don't know if you're gonna go my second pick don't do it this is tricky I don't know if you're going to go my route
I think I know Sean's second pick
is what I'm worried about
I imagine you do
I got some
well
well
alright love let's talk about your second pick
let's get a
bunch of such a fan.
That's all right.
A bunch of such a fan.
All right, love.
That's all right, love.
I'm going to go with All the Snow with my second pick.
Oh!
I thought I could get him late.
I thought I could get him late.
Coming up is a jam.
For real.
Yeah, that's the thing about all the snow is like first of all
like put the put the music aside for a second just a fucking hilarious character get into the greek
in my opinion underrated oh my god it's one of the funniest movies of that decade it's it's the
yeah the jeffrey the whole last that all the vegas everything in vegas up until the point where where pd gets hit
by the car is a non-stop fucking belly laugh well you know in uh forgetting sarah marshall
he because like that movie is hilarious but him in that movie you're just like this is over the
top one of the funniest movies now and the word is that it wasn't written like his character was
supposed to be like a writer or something and he showed up like that to the audition just like russell like a rock star and did that and they're like all right i guess
he's a rock star and we're gonna have it be like that he's just so carefree it was supposed to be
a writer something like that i was going to listen to your tape but then i just went on living my
life yeah you weren't gonna tell me i've heard this i've just told you just then
because it's not inflamed at the moment
when he gets that shit then spills on his shirt when she he spills on his shirt he goes oh no
not the take my eyes not the shirt and he spilled it on purpose
yeah man also those songs do get stuck in your head yeah
yeah
I'm coming
it's good
it's a good song
we got the clap
we got the clap
we got the clap
yeah
when he gets up and sings inside of you
right in front of her ex-boyfriend
oh my god
you can feel it
you're like
oh dude
your heart
I can feel your heart breaking
bangers beans and mash is hilarious
oh yeah my beans and mash what do feel your heart breaking bangers beans and mash is hilarious russell brand has played one of the like and also just one of the most convincing rock stars
just because that's who he is like uh right but like fucking nailed it it's so funny the music's good and like just like more of a
rock star than real rock stars he's like a bit that character all the snow there's no real rock
stars who are that dope in the last 10 years yeah um but yeah i just fucking love them so funny
he's my second pick sean time for your second pick. I am a Cho.
This, the songs from this movie are the most popular songs ever to be from a movie.
I am a Cho, is it?
Yeah.
I am a Cho.
I'm going to pick Rachel Marin from The Bodyguard.
Oh!
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Absolutely. You're going to get so mad at what i pick next no i'm not
i'm not and i bet you know i bet but and i had to go through it because there's there's two more
that i that i desperately want i'll be i'll be sad if i get them because that shame on
david and john if i do get them well shame on all of you but anyway um yeah rachel marron
and the bodyguard those songs
are amazing separate from the movie because i fucking got to pick whitney houston so yeah
shout out to dolly parton for giving her that joint did you real the story behind that she got
some money too yeah that wasn't some charity nobody took dolly for a ride i mean i wouldn't like write a joke and
hear somebody else and be like yeah they just crushed dolly wouldn't let anybody do it until
whitney like bunch of people tried to cover that song and she would never give them the permission
and with whitney she finally was like yeah all right it's kind of crazy for people like that
because like if i give a tag to a comedian yeah in the put a bar and they
do it on stage i and my ego demands that i look at another comic and go i did that that's my tag
dolly parton's whole life is like that i did that that that that whitney song that's fine
yeah she did jolene too though i mean dolly's got so you know she wrote those in the same night i
will always love you and jolene wrote them in the same night ketamine she's deep in a k-hole yeah i've got
working nine to five on my workout playlist dude if you need something to get you going
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum it's fucking it's the same
also rubber band man by ti i was gonna say shout out to that song
but if you go like if you go through rachel maron's catalog you have like queen of the nile
queen of the nile or queen of the night uh and i will always love you um uh run to you there's one
more banger on there but she on just on that soundtrack alone there are four like fake songs that this fake
person had for their career that were our amazing chart-topping song so yeah like that's the
advantage of making a movie later you can just knock on up for once
yeah i mean they were juicing right yeah no that's a great pick though fuck i didn't even
think about that yeah that's a great i didn't. Fuck, I didn't even think about that.
Yeah, that's a great pick.
I didn't even have her on my list.
Like, I'm a fucking idiot.
Like a jerk.
I always forget that that movie's not just Whitney Houston.
Well, because it barely isn't.
I mean, barely.
It's almost just a Whitney-ass Houston movie.
So, yeah, anyway.
I had to sneak that in.
Two more that I want.
If I get one of them, I'll be thrilled.
And I consider this a w but yeah
rachel mary beautiful john time for your second pick i can't believe that one is still out there
and i'm i'm wondering do you leave it there and try to scoop in more shit that like because but
i think i've gotta get spinal tap i mean it's it's mean, it's the fake band to end all fake bands.
The OG.
Yeah.
I mean, they have like 12 songs that any comedy fan knows.
There's like four full videos in the movie of their songs.
And they were able to tour on them.
And it's maybe the funniest comedy up until its point in time.
Like up until 82.
That might be the funniest movie that anybody made.
Invented the mockumentary.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It goes up to 11.
Yeah,
this guy's 11.
Why do you have 10 be as loud?
Because then it wouldn't be,
then it wouldn't be,
what do you say?
Then it wouldn't be 11,
would it?
You're like,
well,
no.
How do you explain that?
How confused he gets.
How he's like, how do you explain that how confused he gets how he's
like how do you not get it you idiot the amount of time he waits before saying these go to 11
is an olympic performer like that's the equivalent of like ollie beating frazier
these go to 11 like just whatever fucking number of seconds he waits is so perfect that and you know
why don't you make 10 just as loud as 11 because then it wouldn't be 11 would it
so rad when he goes hot would you be happy doing that and he goes well what are the hours
like he goes what would you do if you were a rock star he's like i could work in a hat shop
and he goes well would you be happy doing that? He goes,
I don't know.
What are the hours?
Oh my God.
Yeah.
That's fantastic.
I had to,
I had to go.
Fucking Howard Hessman as Duke,
Duke fame.
The other rock star.
It was like,
yeah,
I gotta,
I gotta,
I'd love to hang around,
but i gotta
wait in the lobby for the limo
spinal tap has played glassonberry they've played fucking like
they play wembley yeah that's a fake man that's that rules can you imagine that you're just like
wait we didn't start a band but
we're rock stars now this is sick right we're playing right after the real gin blossoms
is playing the same festival the real gin blossoms
it seems like where the final tap would be at coach like the gin blossoms about 3 p.m
it's final tap i'll tell you what would Blossoms about 3 p.m. final tap I'll tell you
what would be happening at a 3 p.m. Gin Blossoms concert that I was at I'd be drunk at 3 p.m.
watching the Gin Blossoms I'd be so excited absolutely my god it'd be awesome I'd love to
see the Gin Blossoms anyway excellent pick David time for your second and your third picks as it
is a serpentine draft my number two pick pick, I'm picking, for me,
when I think about a stereotypical
rock band, the most
fictional, stereotypical
rock band to me. Don't do it. What are you doing?
I'm taking Stillwater.
Gotta take Stillwater.
Gotta take Stillwater.
I had to do it.
I had to do it. Fever Dog is a good
song. Fever Dog! Yeah. And that other one they have where he starts out, it's like i had to do it i had to do it fever dog is a good song yeah and that and that other
one they have or it's he starts out it's like oh doctor doctor because once it kicks in it cuts out
you don't hear the rest of it play the whole song yeah jason lee classic douchebag lead singer classic classic the whole i get people off i look at the one
guy who's not getting off and i get him off and i get him off
oh my god i when we when that came out we all any jason lee movie we would all crew up and go see
because he used to be a pro skater so we all went to the movie theater and saw that.
And it was just like, holy shit, this is like good, good.
This isn't like we're seeing a movie because there's a skateboarder.
This is like a good ass.
Billy Crudup is so fantastic in that movie.
Philip Seymour Hoffman is amazing.
Everybody's just Jimmy Fallon, dude.
I didn't make, I didn't invent the rainy day.
I just got the best umbrella, you know?
Yeah, respectfully.
If you think Mick Jagger's still going to be
tap dancing around when he's 60, you got another thing
coming. No, he says when he's 40.
When he's 40?
It's like a
definite age shot at Mick Jagger.
And that one's movies from 2000.
And he's still out there doing it.
I saw him two years ago in concert.
But yeah, it's now
20 years past an age joke that was already 20 years past and he's still out there doing it
can i can i tell you something with two caveats well caveat one it was in london it was at a
rugby stadium in london caveat two i was on a small amount of molly but i saw the rolling stones a year and a
half ago just a wee bit yeah fantastic still fucking mick is still like great can still dance
they play all the hits they play like one or two b-sides and they just fuck they're still just
fucking great well i figured they gotta be or people would just stop going like people are
crazy like if there was a bunch of old men up there that couldn't do it be or people would just stop going like people are crazy like if there was a
bunch of old men up there that couldn't do it at all people would just stop going they certainly
wouldn't pay 140 you know i saw iggy pop in concert at the at the very last fyf they ever
did so this i guess was 2017 or 2018 i think 17 and at the beginning of the show he was like moving around really well and
at the he limped off like like he played running back in the nfl in the 70s you know what i mean
like at the end of the hustle though and they were really good but they really were old like
they really did roger tontri is an old old man he's an old man frail you know yeah those are city miles on those tires
a lot of like racing from stop sign to stop sign and slamming on the brakes like yeah all right
mccartney though i took me and my mom saw mccartney and he was he was great he still
fucking had it complete completely completely still has it i knew still water was gonna go
i was bummed i don't know how
anyone could have yeah that was that movie i mean like every it's like such a good rock movie
you know such a good rock maybe this is true what i'm about to say is true of every movie and
especially the kind of movies that stick with us but but like i'm gonna say it anyway like
just like the scenes from this movie are like, there's so many fucking amazing,
like on the tour bus singing,
uh,
tiny,
tiny dancer.
Oh,
I'm going to live forever.
But I love that part.
It also reminds me of like,
like having been on the road,
you know what I mean?
To the very limited extent that we have and everything,
but like burnout and tired and kind of hung over and like,
oh yeah.
And then like him hanging out with the
locals that like i know we would never get hero worship like that but it did feel about right like
yeah going over to the guy's party after the show and you're like hey weird kansas guy i guess i'm
doing your drugs do i really want to be here like it's good to be aware of that. Like for everyone listening,
you know, it's, I understand it's not for everyone, but like when that does happen,
I'm always aware of like, this is crazy that I get to do this. I think that a lot about just
everything we get to do as comedians or anything else like that. But even like flying somewhere,
when I know what I'm flying for, I always think of it like well this is insane i might as well be
on a private what do i care like this this is crazy well when you hear people complain about
any part of it you're like fucking morning radio i'm like oh did they put you on the radio for the
whole city yeah oh i'm sorry yeah and that was too early that they did that for you no it's always a
trip you had to wake up when everybody wakes up to go to their like sheet rock job or whatever.
Like, yeah.
Like, who do you think you're talking to over the radio?
They're up to because they're the people going to your show.
Did somebody open your mouth and pour a boot full of Jaeger down at last night?
Or did you do that?
And now you can't get up.
Well, sometimes somebody did do that to you.
Yeah.
Or they made it very clear that you didn't drink it they weren't gonna
be happy yeah man that's fantastic i love that still water is a great pick david and your third
pick this is a this is gonna get this is not gonna end up where you think it's gonna end
okay when we start talking about this pick to where it goes things you say don't i'm calm down i'm picking
mc scat cat from how i do i was he was on my list opposites attract yeah yeah all right yeah okay
because here's what i'm saying there was also he had a whole album what he was he was not just her
deadbeat boyfriend he had an entire album called the adventures of mc scat cat and the stray mob
the straight cats he hung out with tell me who wrote most of the album guess who wrote most
of the album you don't know you don't know give me a hint give me a hint give me a hint i will
give you a hint okay you're both getting clapped with them kevin hart the other one. Romany Malco? Yes, sir!
Romany Malco?
Most of the MC's
Cat Cat album.
No way.
Really?
Look it up, dog!
Look it up!
Whoa!
Look it up!
That's crazy.
He can do anything!
That's crazy.
For those listening,
he was the guy in the scene.
He was in 40 Old Virgin.
He was the bald dude
in 40 Old Virgin
in the scene with Kevin Hart
who worked at Smart Tech.
And he wrote, for some reason the scat cat side album that was like 25 years before
40 old virgin that's wild is he just some legendary scene stir like rodney fucking like
he's some dude that how do i know why was he still there 25 years later to be a 40 year old virgin?
I don't know.
I don't know how old he was when he wrote that.
But also, I did just love MC's cat cat so much when I was a kid.
I was like, this bum can get Paula Abdul.
He smoked cigarettes inside.
Cartoon cat bum, too.
The bum part isn't even the biggest barrier.
No. He's a cartoon cat.
But he clearly liked real-world ladies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Interspecies.
Interspecies erotica.
Yeah, I always thought that guy was so cool as a kid.
Do you think he launched a lot of furries?
I don't know.
I think a lot of furries are their ground zero moment is that video. I would like to hear about this. Our fans on Twitter, let't know. I think a lot of furries are there. Ground zero moments is that video.
I would like to hear about this.
Our fans on Twitter.
Let us know.
Cause a lot of people I've talked about it.
You know,
Lola bunny kind of charged me up physically as a boy.
I'd like to know when there are a lot of ladies who got MC's cat cat was
sexy.
Sexy as hell.
Yeah.
He was smooth as fuck.
He was like,
yeah.
And I'm just going to say it. He didn't have a job. You could tell he was putting as fuck he was like yeah and i'm just gonna say it he didn't
have a job you could tell he was putting the whammy on her like that was what that situation
was she was like she was like i got a job but yeah he just you know comes over and just like
slams it down this cat just fucks the dog shit out of me it's not a it's not a romantic relationship
no no no it's it's it's pure sex and he was he was sexy he had he had suspenders he had sneakers
on he had a soul badge super cool yeah man mc scat cat that you know i thought i could get that
like maybe fifth round i honestly props i don't think it would it's just like props it's
too well danny malco has a crazy life dude well he was in weeds and 40 old virgin is really all i
know well so he was in the he's in a bunch of shit he's in the marines from 1987 to 1991
he's married to a former professional ice skater who was the
body double for Jessica Alba
in movies.
And they met on The Love Guru.
Well, he's also right out of the Marines. He's the
scat cat.
He's still an enlisted man going,
I got this idea for a cartoon cat when I get out,
man. I'm talking to Paula
Abdul. They're like, you're an idiot, man. Now go clean
your gun.
He's like, it's a whole album. When did... I have to Paula Abdul. They're like, you're an idiot, man. Now go clean your gun. He's like, it's a whole album.
When did, I have to correct myself.
I said 40 Old Virgin came out 25 years after Opposites Attract.
That can't be true.
15 years?
Pretty close.
I just don't want to sound like a moron.
I bet it is close.
Okay.
40 Old Virgin's like-
Paula Abdul lies and says that he voiced MC Scat Cat
even though he only wrote it but paula
abdul says it's a better story he says it was romani malco malco was working on as a music
producer on the pest with john leguizamo when leguizamo encouraged uh malco to pursue acting
oh that's cool he wasn't even in the game no wow He was just a sexy cat with a boombox and no jaw.
He had a rap group in the early 90s called College Boys with a Z.
Oh, yeah.
Of course, early 90s, it had to be a Z.
What are you doing?
That can't be the only one of that, too.
I bet there were many.
There were like six.
I was going to say.
I bet you one night I thought of that, too.
They had a single called Victim of the Ghetto that went to number two on the rap charts i gotta
listen to that i'm watching the video on mute right now i gotta listen to that it is romani
malco dude that's amazing romani malco mc's cat cat and it was just like it was just everybody
knew that cat everybody knew that cat was cool everybody knew that cat liked to fuck yeah two
cartoons what of it say no more uh john time for your third pick uh i am going to pick they only
have one song that we ever see them do but james thunder early and the dreamettes from the movie
dream girls does cadillac car and Eddie Murphy fucking Oscar fucking performance.
And that is my pick.
That is a great.
But he does crush it so hard.
He fucking crushes it.
It's an all time movie moment for Eddie Murphy.
Oh, man, that's such a great pick, man.
He really he really killed it in that movie when he was all old and kind of bloated and doing it. Yeah, that's such a great pick, man. He really killed it in that movie.
When he was all old and kind of bloated in doing it.
Yeah, and he's mad.
It didn't go quite the way he wanted.
I mean, that's one of the best Eddie Murphy parts.
I think that's the best acting he ever did, probably.
Yeah, I would say.
I mean, a Dolomite impression is fun, but I don't know if it's as, you know, you got a serious act.
I don't think it's as good as... Dolomite, my a serious act. I don't think it's as good as Dolomite.
My name is great.
I don't think he acted as well as he did.
I mean, Dreamgirls, obviously he's not in most of the movie,
but like he just killed it so hard.
Yeah.
I do love that Dolomite movie though.
Yeah.
Not quite the same, not as good, which is.
I was mad it didn't come out in the movies.
I was mad that Dolomite is this whole movie about going to the movies
and everybody watched it on their TV.
Yeah, yeah.
That kind of bummed me out a little bit.
It's all the magic of cinema, but nobody watched it in a theater.
He won a Golden Globe for that role and was nominated for an Oscar.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was amazing.
For Dreamgirls?
Yeah, for Dreamgirls.
Have you not seen Dreamgirls, Sean?
I was trying to think of that, and I don't see how I wouldn't have, For Dreamgirls? Yeah, for Dreamgirls. Have you not seen Dreamgirls, Sean?
I was trying to think of that, and I don't see how I wouldn't have.
You would remember seeing it.
Yeah, you would remember seeing it. Speaking of Atlantic City, I saw a 50-year-old little Asian man do the
I'm telling you, I will not go in Atlantic City karaoke,
and he absolutely fucking crushed it.
Like, this little dude fucking crushed it. This little dude fucking
nailed it. That song is amazing.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
A little tiny dude
fucking destroying it.
Oh, god damn.
That's a good pick, man. Yeah, that fucking rules.
Sean, time for your third pick.
The third pick,
I'm going with the Oneeders or you might call them the
Wonders yeah that thing you do
yeah that was my other one that I'm stoked I got
it was that and um almost
famous uh
R.I.P. Adam Schlesinger man
fucking bullshit the guy
yeah they're so good the Fountains of Wayne
like they have a song called Bright Future
in Sales that's one of the
funnier rock songs that I've heard.
The lyrics are really clever.
Yeah.
He was so fucking great, man.
Fountains of Wayne rocked.
He rocked.
He wrote That Thing You Do and a bunch of the-
Stacey's Mom is still a huge jam right now.
Stacey's Mom is a good song.
It's still great.
Who sings That thing you do?
Who's the actual voice?
The actors, don't they?
Is it the actors?
I think the actors sing it themselves.
That's really good if he does.
It's so catchy, and I know that's the lyrics and the beat and everything,
but voice sounds good.
If I sang it, it would not sound like that.
It's Mike Viola with Schlesinger on background vocals.
Oh, okay.
Crazy.
But yeah, that, you know, that song transcended the movie.
Fantastic song that like, you know, made it out.
Pretty good movie though.
Such a good movie.
I'm not saying that.
I love that movie.
Hollywood schmaltz.
It's fucking great.
Yeah.
It's Ethan Embry getting a little shine, which he never,
Ethan Embry didn't get
anything he didn't get the the career that i wanted him to have so i'm stoked whenever i see
ethan embry in something uh it's fun watching rita wilson and tom hanks in the same joint is always
fun to me uh she's great in that she's fucking hot as that as that uh wait she's hot and everything
she's really well when she just goes uh when she's looking at him like oh i just lost you didn't i she's trying to butter this kid up and then a bunch of movies
about white dudes who want to play jazz that came out and like there was uh there was the one i love
every one of them trust me jk simmons there was the one whiplash yeah there was La La Land. Where the white guy was the good guy.
And the black guy was ruining jazz.
That's right.
La La Land.
John Lansing is pissing all over jazz.
And the white guy needs to fucking save it.
And then they straight up dance in the sky.
And I was like, I'm over this.
I couldn't leave because I paid to see it at the at the dome but i was like i'm out anyway yeah the wonders
from that thing you do dude that's a great pick thanks bud uh god it's just so fun the fucking
when they hear it on the radio the first time and they're all like oh they're like running to
the appliance store the appliance store oh my god yeah yeah there's like no scene
for that in the future where it plays in public and everybody you know what i mean now that it's
all street like what are you what is the seat when they make a movie about little nas x what is the
scene where he fucking hears old town road like where it's on his phone like who gives a shit
caviar we're on Rap Caviar. We're on Rap Caviar on Spotify. He's a writer.
But fucking, there's no, that kind of movie is ruined now.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I'm blowing it.
Look at my legs.
They're like, there's no.
My SoundCloud.
My SoundCloud.
It's such a good song, though.
It's like, they did such a good job writing it.
You really believe that it could have been like a song from that era. So catchy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Yeah good song, though. They did such a good job writing it. You really believe that it could have been a song from that era.
Sure.
Oh, yeah.
Perfect.
Oh, yeah.
The Oneeders, dude.
Time for my third and fourth picks.
This is tough, dude.
It's really tough to figure out what you want.
You know what I mean?
I know.
How do you want it to shape up?
Because there's still six that I want to pick, and I only get two more get two more i'm gonna take with my next one uh from a recent motion picture uh
played by our boy bradley coops i'm taking jackson man oh that's a good one nice yeah that's a great
one yeah so sad that it's tough for me to like look at it and appreciate it so much because
it's so real it's a that movie's that's a goodfellas movie where it's like
i like okay you're gonna want to watch the whole movie a few times and then you get to a point
where you're like let me just watch the first three quarters of this movie oh yeah absolutely
yeah definitely i'm like i don't need i don't need okay spoiler alert for a star is born
starting right now but like i don't need like to see jackson man kill himself, I don't need, I don't need, okay, spoiler alert for A Star is Born starting right now.
But like, I don't need like to see Jackson Maine kill himself.
And I don't need to see the making spaghetti sauce cocaine shit either.
I don't need to see that in Goodfellas.
And I don't always need to see.
Oh, you don't like to watch Henry Hill, watch the jaws close around Henry Hill?
Not every time.
It's way too intense.
Yeah.
Sometimes I just want rags to riches and like and cooking and
slicing the garlic then so in that version the loop time to heist happens they all get rich
and then the movie is over and happily ever after exactly same thing at casino i'm like oh look at
them they're running that casino and then i go skate yeah look at them even
wolf of wall street it's wolf of wall street right up
and then just him coming back and i'm like oh it all worked out like unironic scorsese movies
actually glorified things the way people say he does exactly the carmel cut of the scorsese movies
the carmel cut the car you want to watch scorsese like it's entourage
yes i was just gonna say the only movie he watches all the way through is queen's boulevard
that's 100 right it always works out at the end um but yeah jackson main dude he just like
uh his songs are amazing shallow is is like so good that he does with Ali,
another fictional musician who I assume we weren't going to take
because I took Jackson Maine.
And then maybe it's time we let the old ways die.
When he goes up and plays it at the Virgil.
Is that where he does it?
Yeah, it's the Virgil.
That's the Virgil where they film that.
Man, it doesn't feel like that when I play the Virgil.
Me neither.
Mostly it's just I see nothing except the lights in my eyes.
That's pretty much it.
Makes a beautiful picture.
No better picture taken at a show than the Virgil,
but you can't see fucking shit while it's happening.
Can't see shit.
The Virgil is where they do like Hot Tub
and a handful of other stand-up shows in LA and we've all got to perform on the same stage where bradley cooper is in
that opening scene in a star is born and i think it's where they film mr show with bob and david
too is in modern day virgil so if you're watching those things that's it's laid out differently but
it's it's that's the virgil also that Also, the same parking lot they shot the award-winning short film The Lot in.
Talk about it.
Talk about it.
That parking lot where he's sitting with her and he's all drunk,
that's where we shot The Lot.
Hell yeah.
What do you think?
Do you think that was real, the affair between those two?
No.
No, I don't.
He's married. I choose to not believe No. No, I don't. He's married.
I choose to not believe in that stuff.
I don't know.
I like to think they were just working together
and they just had dope chemistry.
And you can have that and not have sex.
I firmly believe that they
did not. I hadn't even heard about it.
Oh, dude. Well, when they performed at the Oscars...
Oh, that's right.
They were just... It felt sexy they were just it felt sexy i
thought it felt sexy yeah well he's an amazing actor and so if you take two people that hot
and put them next to each other why would it like what are we asking why are we asking of
these people just sit next to them for four months and feel nothing okay yeah yeah can you believe these two had sex
after spending a whole year with each other in fiji and you're like i can call me crazy but i
couldn't see that yeah did they get drunk a couple times sure yeah i could see that me and sean go to
me and sean go to fiji we're hand jobbing in two weeks that's how beautiful it is down there we all
kissed in brooklyn just because we had a sold out show so you know yeah so yeah i think they banged yeah i guess i got it my mind has been
changed i do they of course of course they had sex but yeah jackson main just a fucking consummate
kind of eddie vetter ass like awesome awesome rock star just like he actually hung out with vetter for a like
a week to like figure out how to bradley cooper like to be that guy he goes i'm gonna remake
star is born and eddie vetter goes why don't do that that's hilarious that was his fucking advice
dumb call that's amazing yeah hell yeah right, time for my next pick.
And with my next pick, I'm going to take, I got to go one for the soul.
I'm going to take the B-sharps from The Simpsons.
Oh, yeah.
That's great.
The Barbershop Quartet.
The Barbershop Quartet.
Grammy-winning Barbershop Quartet, by the way. Full Beatles, right?
Went full Beatles, yeah.
Baby on board?
Baby on board. How chief homer apu and barney okay so not quite the pin pals it's a different
if different lineup than the bowling team yeah yeah different lineup than the bowling team yeah
don't they kick the chief out hold on of yeah don't they kick the chief out
hold on of the bowling team they kick the chief out of of of the b sharps yeah he's the one that
gets kicked out yeah he's the salty guy at the end yeah it's principal skinner barney apu and homer
yeah yeah they're so funny they just like completely blow up i also love that it was like a uh
he just never told his kids about his grammy winning like yeah that's when the simpsons
got into this like every week it's just gonna be fucking ridiculous and don't worry about it
we've made margie gambler four times we got nothing left like homer once had a grammy
let's fucking yeah we'll do it.
The group that did the voices were the Dapper Dans,
who are a real barbershop quartet.
That's awesome.
That's a pretty good name.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a good name for them.
And yeah, they won a Grammy Award
for Outstanding Soul,
Spoken Word,
or Barbershop Album of the Year.
God, they were funny.
Yeah, so I just,
I had to take a Simpsons one.
They did such good shit with music for such a long time.
I love The Simpsons.
So that's my fourth pick.
Sean, your fourth pick?
Let me, hold on.
Oh, no.
Oh, the bean is coming down.
I already know what you're picking.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's a good call.
Is this an omen of some kind?
I don't know.
I don't have mom's.
Do I have mom's spaghetti all over me?
Oh, B-Rabbit. B-Rabbit, dude. Okay. is it an omen of some kind i don't know i don't have an omen do i have mom's spaghetti all over me oh yeah yeah rabbit be rabbit dude yeah that's like the winnie hugheson pick where you're just
like yeah that's like m&m right gotta pick be rabbit man look at this all the way down
it's so dope lose yourself so john uh one of my first hold these two gentlemen but one of the
first the first time i ever did stand up i I wrote this, so I didn't do it,
but I was like,
you know,
it'd be tight as if you got up there
and you were like,
yeah,
you know,
I'm kind of like B-Rabbit,
but like instead of rap,
it's going to be stand up.
You'll notice none of this is funny,
but this is what in my mind
I thought stand up was going to be.
And I talked,
thank God I talked myself out of it
because I don't know
if I ever would have
overcome the embarrassment
that would have happened immediately
after I said that in front of people.
I'd have been like, oh, dude, you can't
do this anymore. But yeah,
that's, I don't know, man. Be Rabbit is dope. It's a
dope movie. Dope songs. I love
the ending. As corny as people want to make
it seem, it's still a very fun
ending to that movie. Yeah. Oh,
yeah. How else is it going to end? I don't
know. I just love it. Like when he just... Do you want him
to lose? At that
point, if you want a different ending
of that movie, you basically want him to fucking
fail.
Clarence's parents have a real good marriage.
I just love the part where he goes,
and Wink did fuck my girl.
And you're like, oh, look at this guy.
Letting him know.
Yeah, B-Rabbit, man. I just think it's
great. I'm a big fan of rap music and
it's a movie about rap so yeah b rabbit bunny rabbit yeah money rabbit britney murphy dude
britney murphy one of her one of her better roles yeah i don't know if that's the whole thing to
britney murphy but i think so kim basinger and early early Mackie Michael Shannon
very low key Michael Shannon
in that movie
last time I watched it I was
surprised I was like fucking Michael Shannon
because I had forgotten
he's Greg
he's the boyfriend
he reminds you that he's Michael Shannon immediately with his face
also I'd be remiss to say
my friend Dirty Mike he was in it
shout out to Dirty Mike. I don't think
he even listens, but he was an extra
at the lunch truck. Brings it up a lot.
Your friend's in the exhibit?
Brings it up a lot.
B-Rabbit. John, time for your fourth pick.
Alright, I think I'm going to
pick Dewey Finn
from School of Rock.
The
black dude who forms the band out of school from School of Rock. The Jack Black
dude who
forms the band out of school children
and sings If You Want to Be the Teacher's Pet
then baby you better forget it.
Absolutely.
You get a ton
of Jack Black songs and
it's a classic movie rock moment.
School of Rock.
That is fantastic.
I love that. he's fucking he's so good and his
bad song where he's at the beginning it's still really entertainingly bad which one is ladies
which one's the bad one well he rocks out at the beginning when he the very beginning of the movie
is him with his old band that kick him out yeah that douchebag
band and he probably tries to stage dive and he falls on his own face nobody fucking saves him at
all in the uh but that song it's just a stupid head-banging thing with jack black like you know
like but it's uh it's very fun him and russell brand both of these weird guys where it's like
there's one part of their DNA
that if it would have been just slightly to the left or right they would have been an actual rock
star like absolutely because they have so much presence and and he can sing for real yeah I don't
know if Russell Brand but he can they did I mean you know Tenacious D I saw Tenacious D and it was
fantastic yeah so that would be a great concert but they had to but he
like had to be funny there was some part of him that also be the funny it's like we ever hear
dave navarro on a talk show or on uh on on a radio show he's as funny as any of us like it's it's
annoying why would he also be funny if he can be a genuine rock star. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
They're like,
and then,
but he's like the flip way.
Not Dave Navarro,
Dave Navarro or Dave.
Yeah.
Dave Navarro used to be on the bar.
Yeah. He's on Cape Freddy radio on,
uh,
on any one of three in like 2006,
2007.
And he's really funny.
Like he did a,
like a round table fuck off radio show.
That was like two hours long.
Really?
That's hysterical.
Yeah.
Huh? I had no idea. Dave grohl's funny too yeah dave grohl is funny god damn it they need to get up out of my shit
yeah but dave grohl is not an ink master so i don't need that you know i need the ink master
yeah that's true i've heard that about you i know that about you yeah ink master bro well you you
know from talk shows,
who are the funniest not funny professionals?
Like, who are the funniest people that you can't believe they don't just be funny for a living?
This is kind of a cheat answer,
but, like, Brian Cranston,
because he has been in sitcoms.
Obviously, he was in Seinfeld.
But, like, he's fucking hilarious.
He could be a a letterman level
late night host like he really could if you wanted he's good at shooting people and being scary
yeah also good yeah uh i'm the one who knocks who else is fucking like super duper funny uh
god i don't have to think about that i really try to block out emotionally as much of my
day job as possible i'm just joking i love it uh god i'm trying to think
i believe christoph waltz is really funny really yeah in kind of in kind of a sneaky way yeah he
does also take himself very seriously but like kind of surprise you with that weird like
fucking like german sense of humor uh i would have to think about that let me cut let me come
back to that for a minute uh david time for your fourth and your final picks uh this is hard to close down on what i want i mean fourth
i guess i'm gonna take one of the classics they've been doing it since the 50s
uh i'm taking alvin and the chipmunks oh yeah just like they've always been there
they told the witch doctor they were in love with me.
Ooh-ee, ooh-ah-ah, ting-tang.
Water, water.
Save me, I want a hula hoop, you know?
Yeah, they had their girlfriends who also had a group.
They had that guy, Dave, that I don't really understand what the relationship was.
Kind of a Lou Pearlman type, right?
Yeah, that's what it felt like.
Yeah, like, it was very Lou Pearlman because they're also from Orlando.
Yeah.
He recruited the top chipmunks in Orlando.
They had to go to a chipmunk pool by his house.
He's smoking a cigarette like, I'm making a band.
Somehow got custody of those four little boys,
or three little boys.
Alvin was a rock star.
Yeah, Alvin and the Chipmunks.
I liked them from when I was a kid till now.
Yeah, fantastic.
And my last one for the speed round is...
I'm gonna take Tony Clifton. Oh! Tony Clifton is how I'm gonna take Tony Clifton
Oh!
Tony Clifton is how I'm closing it out
Wow, damn, good job
I did not see that coming
I wanted to take him earlier just because
It is both, it's a music and a joke
You know what I mean? Who is he?
He's dressed up funny, he's berating people
I just
A lot of that, I don't go for a lot
of that andy kaufman stuff but i do think a lot of the tony clifton shit is funny yeah yeah yeah
that's a great pick fantastic uh john time for your final pick uh steel dragon
that mark walberg joined yeah
hell yeah hell yeah that dynamic between mark mark wal Wahlberg and Timothy Oliphant is so funny in that show.
I love it, dude.
I love that movie.
It contains the line, I'll break the thunder.
Why did they call you Thor?
I'll break the thunder.
Stand up and shout.
It's not worth it.
Stand up and shout. Steel Dragon. Yeah. Stand up. Stand up and shout steel dragon yeah stand up stand up and shout and shout yeah um excellent
pick sean your final pick i'm going back i'm going deep to my childhood i'm picking the
attack from saved by the bell
so when i was a kid i thought that that was actually mark paul gosselaar singing i'm like
well they're a fucking great band too this guy can act what can't why can't he do this guy
and he's got that hair so this guy i feel it because when you're a kid you don't know i know
what you mean like i remember they sang friends forever and I was just like, oh, yeah, dude. Friends forever.
Always will be talking about friends forever.
Anyway, there it is.
That's great.
That's amazing.
Oh, yeah.
Excellent.
Time for my final pick.
And with my final pick, I have to be true to myself again, and I got to take Hep Alien
from the show Gilmoremore girls which i'm
currently re-watching which i fucking love by the way and it's but like so it's it's rory's
friend lane's band uh but at one point sebastian bach joins the band the real not playing himself
but it's actually not as it's sebastian bach playing the guy but he just plays like a dad who used to be in a metal band and then got
out of it and like wanted to join a band.
So he's like this dude who's 30 years older than everyone else,
but he's in this band and it's fucking,
it's fucking great.
It's awesome.
He's got a killer voice still.
Sebastian Bach.
He made it through somehow.
He kept the pipes.
Yeah,
he really did.
Um,
so that's my final pick.
Shout out to Gilmore girls. That wraps it up to do a pipes. Yeah, he really did. So that's my final pick. Shout out to Gilmore Girls.
That wraps it up.
To do a recap, David, you went first.
You took Powerline from a goofy movie,
Stillwater from Almost Famous,
MC Scat Cat, Alvin and the Chipmunks,
and Tony Clifton.
John, you went second.
You took The Kid from Purple Rain,
Spinal Tap from Spinal Tap,
James Thunder Early in the dream.
That's from dream girls.
Who do we thin from school of rock and steel dragon from,
uh,
Holy rock star rock star.
Uh,
Sean,
you went third.
You took MC gusto,
but all the cell block for from CB for Rachel Marin from the bodyguard,
the own eaters from the thing you do.
Bunny rabbit from eight Mile, and Zack Attack
from Saved by the Bell.
I went last. I took Dr. Teeth and the Electric
Mayhem from The Muppets,
Aldous Snow and Infant Sorrow from
various motion pictures, Jackson
Maine from A Star is Born, the B-Sharks from
The Simpsons, and Hep Alien
from Gilmore Girls. We left
some good ones on the board, though. We really did.
We left the monkeys on the board.
Yeah.
The monkeys.
I know.
The monkeys around.
Before we take it, Mars, you got any picks before we step on them?
Yes.
My pick would be K.K.
Slider from Animal Crossing.
Oh, good.
Okay.
Just a cool dog that likes to play music.
Great acoustic performance.
Wholesome guy and shares his music for free.
Sounds like you're talking about me. A cool dog that likes to play music, great acoustic performance, wholesome guy, and shares his music for free. Sounds like you're talking about
me.
Cool dog that likes to play music, dude.
Yeah. I had fucking
you said Dewey Finn, so I didn't want
to do it, but I had Dewey Cox from Walk Hard.
Yeah.
Yeah, I had Jessica Rabbit
too, man. The Blues
Brothers? Oh, fuck, I didn't even have
the Blues Brothers. Zit it remedy from degrassi junior
high sexual chocolate from coming to america i had that i i had the beats from doug remember
the beats oh yeah tofu nwh from uh men without hats all right if you remember that? Fear of a Black Hat.
Fear of a Black Hat.
Yeah.
And one of them did a side project where they sounded like P.M. Don
and they sang about poo and pee.
I would be remiss if I didn't say Sonic Death Monkey from High Fidelity.
Jack Black's band in High Fidelity.
Are you talking about Kathleen Turner Overdrive?
I think he's also talking about Barry Jive and the Uptown Five.
Uptown Five.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
Oh, the Style Boys and Connor for Real from Popstar.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I had Together from the weird MTV movie, Together.
I used to skip school to watch that show.
That was Farley's brother, I think.
Kevin Farley, yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Kevin Farley is in that.
I don't like the, I'm not a sex bum-bomb guy,
because as I've said on this platform before,
I think Scott Pilgrim's a fucking dork,
but the Clash of Demonhead were rad.
The band Brie Larson was in.
Yeah.
That song is actually good the song isn't very
good yeah they suck but clash of demon head are good yeah because they're like loosely based off
metric the band from toronto yeah and metric did the music for the movie beating like a hammer
is that metric yeah but that hello again friend of a friend, that one, it's awesome.
So good.
And then shout out to the very first episode of All Fantasy Everything, which was based on the movie Airheads, The Lone Rangers.
The Lone Rangers.
Yeah.
So those are our picks.
That's what we had left on the board.
We want to hear your picks.
Hit us up at All FantasyantasyPod on Twitter or
AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com.
Shout out to everyone on the All Fantasy
Everything Patreon. Thank you so
much. We really appreciate you. Shout out
to everyone on the AFE
Shaslackity. Shout out to everyone on the
AFE subreddit. Shout out
to St. Sue Carmel. What's up
mom? Shout out to fucking all you
lovers out there on Valentine's Day. I guess this comes out like a week after that. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. What's up, mom? Shout out to fucking all you lovers out there on Valentine's Day.
I guess this comes out like a week after that.
Shout out to super producer Marissa.
Just days after her birthday.
Just days after.
Venmo or $600, everybody.
A piece.
That's not collectively.
Yes, thank you.
Got a couple here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shout out to Ben from Bo.
Congrats on the new kid.
I'm feeling that.
Jan from Jamal. Happy birthday. This is a bit early, but. Congrats on the new kid. I'm feeling that. Jan from Jamal.
Happy birthday.
This is a bit early, but happy birthday on March 4th. And on a serious note, Jorge de la Paz hit me up on Instagram.
And he's got a GoFundMe started right now.
His little girl is going through a rough time, needs heart surgery.
I wouldn't ask anyone to donate to anything that I didn't.
So if you got a couple bucks or if you just want to share it or something,
go on his Instagram.
And, you know, it's just be the old family
that we know you are.
So hop on that if you find it in your heart.
And yeah, those are the shout outs for now.
So sorry to bring everybody down,
but, you know, had to do it.
We're pausing for donations.
We're not going to end the podcast so you go donate
yeah well you know it's i just feel he uh he reached out and uh seems solid and you know
it's just like uh yeah hell yeah so open your hearts and your wallets everybody yeah and you'll
get through it good vibes to you hori you got it you got the good vibes good vibes uh yeah man
there it is there it is shout out to fucking frankie ocean shout out to
sid the dude shout out to haju beats and more important than all that tune in again next week
for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything that was a hate gun podcast