All Fantasy Everything - Freezer Aisle Foods (w/ David Gborie and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

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This is a HeadGum Podcast. and Carmel, and joining me as always are my friends and compatriots, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that... Why did I get Jamaican? Did you get Jamaican? The podcast. The podcast. No, the podcast just got back from Italy. It did get Jamaican.

I was thinking, see the face that you're making when you do it? You're doing that De Niro, do the Arby's sauce thing. It's a good sauce. They got a good sauce over there at Arby's. It's good. They got two sauces. They got Arby's sauce. They got a horsey sauce. The horsey one's a little spicier.

I don't want it to sound crazy. Did you meet anybody with like a comical? Don't you fuck with me Sean Jordan You have to admit it's a little bit of a spicier sauce The horsey sauce It's got a fucking kick to it You fucking prick You fucking piece of shit

You absolute fucking moron You're gonna come in here and tell me the horsey sauce Isn't a little bit spicier Was it there for a second? I felt like it was in there It was there It was in there So did you meet anybody with like a Mario type American accent when you were in Italy

like was there anybody I thought you were going to ask him if you met anybody whose last name was spaghetti I don't know why I thought that I thought you were going to say that somebody sent us a page where there was somebody with the last name spaghetti because we had this conversation a while we talked about it before i think about it a lot bonjour no senor my name is uh roberto and what's your last name

that's spaghetti spaghetti hey there my name is jason spaghetti i just moved here from florence and uh tickled tickled to live in renner there South Dakota. And this is the detour. There was no one with like a Mario-style accent, but you know, they're like, they have a little, you know, they talk, yeah, it's not that exaggerated. The rhythm to their speech is really pretty.

Yeah, it's a beautiful language. They speak English in an accent beautifully, too. Like some people, when they speak English, you're like, oh, man. I'll tell you that. I love. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Germans. Yeah. Like people from Wisconsin. Yeah. Yeah. That Midwest accent is. Is that the weirdest American accent? Just because what is it?

It's just really strange. It's that Nordic shit. And I'm from there. It kills me where i'm just like man oh yeah i i sound like that too when i go especially when i go back get into my cups a little bit i'm just like well sure sure oh yeah bud yep yep a lot of that oh yeah what about cajun i feel like cajuns are also one of those accents where it's okay no no no no but that's like delightful yeah that's a carnival ride.

Get down there and get a little juvenile. It's kind of sexy. Yeah. Cajun is like a carnival where you might die. But it's fun. You go on the ride, but you're not sure about it. That dish isn't sexy. Yeah, no.

Oh, sure. Oh, right there. Dude, it's so fun watching these tough guys. There's tough guys with the accent, and you're like, okay. You're cruising for a bruising, mister. Right outside, bud. You're like, alright, alright, alright. But those dudes will

cave your face out. They will, yeah. They'll stomp you into the ground, sure. Which is too bad, because they'd be laughing the whole time. Such a cute accent. Italy, I won't bore you with details, but what a fucking place. What a country. Amazing.

Naples in Italy is fucking insane. Free the Naples. You were there when Napoli won the Serie A title, too. So you were probably partying. Were they going up? The city was going up. I mean, I wasn't in Naples when they won it. But like, I got there a couple weeks after, but it was like, you could tell they had won it.

They had like banners everywhere. I bought a Maradona t-shirt. It was, yeah. Oh, yeah. Some of the best pizza I've ever, the best pizza I've ever had in my life. Maybe the best food I've ever had in my life was pizza that I had in Naples. So that city's great. There are no, if there are traffic laws, everyone has collectively decided not to follow them.

Suggestions, recommendations. Is it reasonable? The lights don't matter. It is unreasonable. It is, but you just have to surrender yourself to it. Yeah. I kind of like that. It just seems to work.

It's like an organic thing. Now, when you say the lights don't matter, is it like, because you know, like in LA, when the light turns red, four cars will go. I feel like the numbers about three or four cars will take a left turn after the light turns red. Maybe I don't understand their light system, but I feel like I had a green light

and they had a red light and they just kept going. And they were like, what? What are you going to do? And they didn't know what I was going to do. I was just a dude in a Fiat. They had no fucking clue. Wait, you guys were driving? Yeah. I don't want to sound like an asshole. You drive on the same side of the road?

You don't sound like an asshole. You're an angel. And it's like America. Only England and British colonies are places where you drive on that side of the road. Awesome. That's fun. Well, I don't know if that's true, but definitely England and their colonies. I guess I didn't realize that you were going to get the road. Awesome. That's fun. Well, I don't know if that's true, but definitely England. I guess I didn't realize that you were going to get to rent a car. That's tight.

Yeah, we got a car in Florence and drove Florence, Tuscany, Rome, a multi-coast, and the Naples. How pretty was that? Oh, man. That's amazing. Just green. Rolling Hill. Tuscany is absurd. The wholeany is absurd.

The whole place is absurd. So you were like out there, you were like disconnected. Yeah. A little bit like city to city. You were just like in the country for some of it on the, on the freeways, you know?

Yeah. But still that's amazing. They have like, you pull off and they have these like a truck stop type things. They have like great espresso and really good looking sandwiches. They're not like a flying J. No, but they are like a Flying J, but with good food. And I don't know, Flying J might have good food for all I know. They do.

They do. I like that street food shit. That's, man. They got a thing called like mozzarella and corotta, which is like mozzarella in a carriage, which is just like a deep fried mozzarella sandwich. They're doing it over there. It's weird for me to think about like a truck stop in a different country.

So there's like semi drivers, there's truck drivers and stuff, right? Yeah. Like you see semis on the freeway, just like you would in Modesto. Exactly. It's weird to think about.

Yeah. It doesn't seem like an Italy thing. Logistics, dude. They have an everywhere. And that's why I'm shipped to us from a all fantasy. Everything is just mostly a logistics company. Everybody trucks.

Yeah. Yeah. they truck. Now that Ice is on board. By the way, Isaac, if this is your first time with the whole original crew, now that I'm back from my sabbatical, my radical sabbatical, welcome to the team, bro. Thank you. Thank you.

It's great to be here. It's great to have an actual captain on board instead of a… See, now that hurts. I'm kidding. Obviously, I'm kidding. Oh, my God. I get so self-conscious. I'm saying shit I don't ever say.

It's so funny when I got to host it. I listen back and you do a great job. You do a great... You do an amazing job, Sean. I tried to shout your dates out the first one and I forgot them and I felt so bad about it. June 22nd through the 24th. Comedy works.

When I'm disappeared by a Bolivian hit squad, dude, this podcast won't miss a beat. Absolutely. Yeah, it will because I will go down to Bolivia, find the hit squad, deal with them accordingly. I'm heading down south there. I'll tell them to chill. Thank you. The Bolivian hit squad

would be like a good name for a music group. Yeah, like if I was a girl, that's what I would call my breasts. Yeah, the Bolivian Hit Squad. Yeah! That should be the new name for Toothick. It should be the Bolivian Hit Squad. The Bolivian Hit Squad.

I heard Toothick's in the studio with the Bolivian Hit Squad, so that one's coming. Toothick featuring the Bolivian Hit Squad. Yeah, they're a production team out of Bogota. Yeah. That's Colombia, but... Yeah, what's Bolivia's main city?

I don't even know. Why is it Colombia? It's... It's an international operation. You know, it's an international operation. We're Pan-American. Pan-American, yes. Sean Jordan is here.

Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan. And that's on Instagram there it is you know if you're in the Columbus Ohio area June 15th go ahead and come out and see me and the next day

if you're in Cleveland Ohio June 16th go ahead and come out and see me doing two shows in each of those cities June 15th and 16th and I believe the 15th is at the, that's at the Lawbird, and then the 16th is at Mahal's.

So come to those. Columbus is almost sold out. Cleveland, we could use some salt and pepper. So go ahead and buy a ticket. It'll be fun. I'm good at stand-up, and I'm excited to be there. Wow, that's exciting. David Morris here.

CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. Not on Twitter, but appearing live at the following places. Rio de Janeiro! No, I'm not doing any stand-up there. I'm fucking hyped, bro. I can't wait. Who are you going with? Dolo.

Solo Dolo? Good for you. I've never done that. I love that. Diaz. Wow. What's on the docket? Jeep Tour of the Jungle for sure.

Christ the Redeemer for sure. Sugar Loaf for sure. And then I just kind of want to just walk around and soak it in, man. I want to rent a moped like a Majarul Hala Hala video. What's Sugarloaf? It's a mountain. Are you going to recreate Fast Five and just say, this is Brazil?

A lot. A lot of times. They won't be sick of that at all. I wouldn't be. If someone was like, this is Beaverton, I'd be like, say it. Say it again. Tell them again. They're going to run out of cities in that franchise. They will end up in Beaverton.

Oh, watch the Nuggets? Yeah, I just want to chill out there. Go to the beach a lot. Do you speak any Portuguese at all or no? Like Duolingo level for a couple months. Nothing crazy. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Also June 18th,

Jamel Johnson and I are headlining the DC improv and then I am gearing up for like a fall tour. So though Richard gearing up, Richard gearing up, I'm putting it, putting the hamster in my butt. As they say,

who is they say, dude, who the fuck is they saying this? They're saying they don't identify themselves. It's a team. They're emailing like David, get the hamster in your butt, man.

It's a shadow. It's going to be a lot of the South of the midwest because those are kind of the places i don't go that much it's a midwest swing wow that song still knocks i still like that song uh my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on tiktok at ian carmel on a jewish rail it Italia app where you can get a meatball or a matzo ball. The choice is yours. I like that. Buongiorno.

Buongiorno! Come see me at the Denver Comedy Works downtown June 22nd, 23rd, and 24th where I will be doing my signature brand of very funny stand-up comedy. And then English? I'll be doing my signature brand of very funny stand-up comedy. And then... English?

English. I'll be doing it in English. I will be... Assuming this offer has been accepted, it was sent to me, and I said yes, and then I've heard nothing else after that. But gird your loins, Las Vegas, Nevada, because I will be at Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club July 7th, 8th, and 9th, which is during NBA

Summer League. So if you're going to be out there for NBA Summer League, come see me do stand-up comedy at night after you've seen I can't imagine Victor Wimbanyama is going to be there, but Brandon Miller, Scoot Henderson, maybe, and then come hang out with me.

The other huge French prospect. Aren't out with me the other huge French prospect aren't you Belgian? huge French prospect Paris too Belgium and Paris Bulgin it's a common mistake yeah I'm Bulgin out here

the Bulgin consulate but come see me in Las Vegas. Again, assuming that show is indeed happening, which I think it is. And by the time this drops, tickets should be available July 7th, 8th, and nice in a little town I like to call. And feel free to use this.

But if you do, please give me credit. It's a little fun turn of phrase. I like to call it lost wages. Yeah. And that's just just a phrase. I like to call it lost wages. Yeah. And that's just just a taste. And if you enjoyed that... If you want to see more of that, go ahead and go to

Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club. Pick up your tickets. Come see me do stand-up comedy. So come see me at the Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club in Las Vegas, Nevada, or in Denver, Colorado, June 22nd, 23rd, 24th. Please come out to Denver. I'm really, really excited about those shows. I think it's going to be a great time.

I fucking love Denver. Isaac, any dates? Any dates for me? You can come see me at the local H Mart in Koreatown. You can see me at various Thai restaurants and Mexican restaurants around East Los Angeles. You can see me just you know, just hanging

around the Westlake and Echo Park area. Also, you can check me out on my podcast, The Icebox, which is currently inactive, but I have a few things brewing. Keep an eye out. We are gathered here today not only to talk about Isaac at an H Mart crying

or otherwise, but also to fantasy draft freezer aisle foods. Now H Mart has itself a freezer aisle. Of course it does. A pretty well-stocked freezer aisle. But we're here to talk about food that found in any, any freezer aisle in any grocery store. And the way we determine the order of that draft is through a

rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the two of you. And we throw on shoot. Here we go. rock, paper, scissors, played between the two of you. And we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, yes. Sean wins.

A natural. Scissors against paper. Yes. Sean, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question.

It's like that ribbon thing that Will Ferrell had in old school. You know how when he's dancing and the ribbon just looks like a big S? Rhythmic gymnastics. It's just like a big old slinky curvy looking S. That's serpentine. It just kind of goes to one side, back to the other, back to the other.

That's like right on the nose. That's exactly what it is. It's that thing. Basically what it means is that thing basically what it means is if you pick third in the first round you pick first in the second round now sean uh-huh with that in mind what will the order of today's draft be i'm going first clear i think number one so really me and then i think so you think a clear number one i think so for frozen for frozen isle i think it's so it's so big. It's huge. It's huge. Right. Well, for me, there's

something I needed. I'm first, David second, Ian's third. Hot corner. Well, Sean Jordan, who just looked into his cup and cursed? I'm out of coffee, man. I thought I had more coffee in there. Is that one of the glasses from when we went to Vegas? Is that one of the reusable cups?

No, those are gone. That bums me out. You're talking those red, the hard keg cups that we bought? Yeah. It was me, you, and that was the first time we met Harper. No, anyway, I think those got left at the fortress, and then they probably just disappeared. They definitely didn't disappear.

Those don't buy out of grade. Those will be on the air. No, I mean, but they made their way somewhere else. I don't know. They've just disappeared. They definitely didn't disappear. Those don't buy out of great. Those will be on the air. They made their way somewhere else. I don't know. They've been disappeared by the Bolivian hit squad. Those were some of the grossest cups I think I've ever encountered. I loved them. I loved them so much.

I digress. You digress. Sean Jordan, you have the first pick in the Freezer Isle Foods, All Fantasy Everything draft. We're going to get to that first pick in the Freezer Isle Foods, All Fantasy Everything draft. And we're going to get to that first pick right after we take a short break. We'll be right back. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer.

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at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code ALLFANTASY. Wait, what are you eating, Ian? It's the skin of the inside of a grapefruit. Should I stop? Are you picking it up? The skin of the inside of a grapefruit?

No, it's fine. You're talking fine, but... The pith stop? Are you picking it up? The skin of the inside of a grapefruit? No, it's fine. You're talking fine, but... The pith? Oh, you like that part? Dude, if you gave me 150 guesses, I would not have gone there. Yeah.

I'm a fucking wild card, dude. I didn't know that was something people ate. Leave this in. Leave this in. This is us coming back from the break. I want the people to know.

I want the people to know. We don't hide anything on All Fans of Everything. I've been eating the pith, I think it's called, the white stuff from the inside of a grapefruit. Can I see it? That's extraordinary. There's the outside of a grapefruit. Just like the same shit from the inside of an orange.

Yeah, like the inside of an orange. I'll eat it on an orange. I'll eat it on a grapefruit. I don't know why. And that tastes good to you, or you just eat it because it's like busy stuff? It's busy stuff. It's got kind of a fun bitterness. Okay.

Somebody told me once it's really good for you. So it's like Shane, a fun bitterness kind of thing. Kind of a fun bitterness. The Shane Torres. Got him, dude. Never safe. Cold Stone Steve Austin. I'm excited. Can I go go or are we even back yet

I don't even think I heard we're conditionally back except of course for the icebox oh shit okay yeah yeah and my mama told me my mama told me Sean Jordan you fucking piece of shit.

Sean Jordan, it's time for your first pick. What do you think about this voice? Sean Jordan, it's time. Maybe I'll do the whole podcast in this fucking voice. It's time for your first pick in the Freezer Isle Foods. Motherfucking all fantasy everything fantasy draft. If you do that voice for the rest of this show, I'll buy you a new pair of shoes. Are you serious? Yeah. You'll buy you a new pair of shoes. Are you serious?

Yeah. You'll buy me a new pair of shoes if I do the entire podcast in this voice? Yes. Do I get to pick the shoes? Or do you pick the shoes? No, you don't get to pick the shoes. I'm getting your Italy shoes.

Is it a reasonable pair of sneakers? Do we walk down to some store? Are you going to fucking get me with some fucking $35 pair of fucking Pumas or something like that? You know how long this podcast is? We haven't even done the first... As the guy who's going to edit your voice,

I veto this. I don't want this transaction. I didn't think it was going to get that far. Alright, Sean, you have the first pick. Go ahead. Sorry. Frozen pizza. What brand? Tomb mean, you know. What brand? Tombstone, for sure. Tombstone frozen pizza. Okay, okay, okay.

Tombstone frozen pizza. I'm not, yeah, I guess. I think we need to get specific. We can be terribly specific. That's fine. There's a couple I would take ahead of it, but I get you. Yeah. Now, are those still on the board? I feel like with this, it's all brand loyalty, too. I think it's brand loyalty.

If we're talking frozen foods absolutely dude I'm in for all that so for me in the frozen pizza world tombstone is a clear winner there's other ones that are better but they take longer and tombstone I can go ahead and get one

I can do the whole thing I can just eat the whole tombstone if I feel like it I really like the whole thing I can just eat the whole tombstone if I feel like it I really like the thickness I like the price They're right about $45 You know I like that You know what I really like about it? The thickness

I like the thickness and I like the price Yeah, I like to take a lot of lotion and just put it on the bottom of the pizza No, no, no, no, no I don't care for a bougie frozen pizza, and they've got bougie I like to take a little lotion and just put it on the buttered pizza you got excited I don't care for a bougie frozen pizza and they've got bougie frozen pizzas out there they're never good cost as much as a delivery pizza

get the fuck out of town I don't want to eat frozen arugula yeah exactly I want supreme I want these peppers that may have been made in a lab you know what else I like about a tombstone is they don't have the big box the tombstone is like shrink-wrapped almost so it's just yeah that you put like when i and tony's is like that too when i was on the bus heavy with my backpack like that box would take up a lot of space so i could put the tombstone in there easier than like a big other brand that would have a big box. School bus or a city bus?

No, like my, like riding the bus, the city bus. So like you have to go get groceries and bring the groceries home, but you don't have a car, you know? Oh, I see. So like I would put all this shit in my backpack and tombstones would fit perfectly. And they're just, yeah, they're just, they're thick. They're just good.

I just like a tombstone. Real simple. Pepperoni? Cheese? I mean, so a lot of times what I'll do is I'll get pepperoni and I will move all the pepperonis to one side. So it's like heavy pepperoni on one side and then cheese on the other. So it's like I'm getting a half and half double pep on one side.

That's kind of my favorite thing to do. And then the other side is basically a sauce receptacle. Pretty much. Yeah. And then I'll make, sometimes I'll make a little design. Sometimes I'll eat like half the pepperonis before I even put it in the oven because they're frozen and you can just eat them. Oh, damn. Okay. And then I'll make, sometimes I'll make a little design. Sometimes I'll eat like half the pepperonis before I even put it in the oven there because they're frozen

and you can just eat them. Oh, damn. Okay. I didn't know that. Yeah. We're still friends. You eat frozen, wait, did you just say

you eat frozen pepperoni? I will on a tombstone sometimes if it's not like, so if you've had it out of the freezer from the grocery store to the crib, however long, those pepperonis aren't like hard anymore. They're just cold pepperonis.

So yeah, I'll pop a few of those. Okay. Cool, Pat. Leave this in, Isaac. I'm leaving the silence in. I'm going to leave that pause in here. Don't cut any of this out. Isaac, you're a foodie.

How does the frozen pepperoni strike you? It strikes me like it's a slap in my face, like it's an actual strike, actually, to but it's first of all we're talking about a frozen pizza here so if i'm like in the process of preparing it or whatever the oven's warming up i unwrap it i'll go ahead and yeah i'll go ahead and pop a couple i've had it i've eaten it i've eaten it i've eaten it i've done it i've done it do you church it up a little bit? Do you put sriracha on it? Oh, afterwards? Afterwards?

Yeah, I mean, you can't tell it's a pizza most of the time when I'm eating it. Absolutely not. The dance floor gets crowded. My plate looks like I just dumped ranch and... You can't get sriracha right now. It's crazy. Yeah, ranch and nut sauce.

Dude, you got to go to the 99 or the, you know, come on. You can get the expensive sriracha right now. You can't get it in Portland at a grocery store. They just don't have it. Really? You can get like the crazy, like in the health food aisle, they have like the $10 sriracha, which is okay. Go to the H Mart on

Belmont or the 99 Ranch in I think Happy Valley look at this guy look at this guy throwing oil around at me look at this guy I was in the studio I remember

that was probably the moment that I sat on fire when we were at your house on Division oh my god yeah we had to call the fire department

yeah we had to ring the alarm that was April 11th another Sriracha shortage unprecedented inventory shortage. Just make more of it. They just don't have it at grocery stores. So I've been having to branch out a lot.

Normally, it's just tons of Sriracha, tons of ranch, tombstone pizza. Sometimes I'll only cut it into four parts and just eat the four huge pieces. That's fun for me. There's a chili shortage in Mexico because of their drought last summer. Are you sourcing back the sriracha shortage? Yeah. Nice. Yeah.

Nice. That's why I like you, man. That's not why I like you. One of the reasons is because you deep dive. You track down these sauce shortages. Yeah. I like you because you're the first Jewish person I met and I need to hold on to that.

That's why I like you. Am I the first Korean person you've met? That's a good question. What? Am I the first Korean person you've met? That's a good question. What? Am I the first Korean person you've met? Isaac, I have a second degree black belt in taekwondo. I passed my black belt test because Grandmaster Moo Young Yun, he flew in from Seoul, South Korea to test me and like four other kids.

Oh, my black belt. Okay. Yeah. So no, you're not. So you're the second is what he's saying. That dude was from Omaha for sure. The small guy in from Grandmaster in

from fucking Seoul. D-Droven from Modesto. I watched him do a push up on his pinkies. I watched him do a backspin and break a board from somebody who was holding, there was a grown up with another grown up on their shoulders holding a board. This guy was 80 and he did a backspin and broke the board from somebody who was holding there was a grown-up with another grown-up on their shoulders holding a board this guy was 80 and he did a backspin and broke the board he did a push-up on his pinkies this is gonna sound fake but it's not he laid on the ground and put

a board on his stomach and let a motorcycle ride over it this is all why haven't we heard about this until just now you have plenty of times i've there's no no i've never heard about this man. I don't know much, but I know that guy didn't fly South Korea to Sioux Falls, South Dakota to watch five kids get their black belt. My black belt certificate is signed by people from the Kukiwon, which is the

World Taekwondo Federation headquarters in Seoul, South Korea. It's signed. I got a Sean Kemp autograph. You know? My dad got me one of those Joe Montana plaques back in the day, and I thought, bro, you got it. Thank you. Come to find out it was like $18

a pro image or something. Anyway, how do we get from there to frozen pizza? That's the kind of ride you're on with this show. That's the kind of rage. Tombstone frozen pizza. Delicious. Delish Lush. Grandmaster kind of rage. Tombstone frozen pizza. Delicious. Delish. Lush.

Grandmaster. Moo. Young. Young. Moo. Young. Young. Ranch.

Sriracha. Whatever else you got. David boy, time for your first pick. Ooh, I'm taking those $1. Well, they were,

they were $1 for a while. I don't know. I don't know what you're doing anymore. No, you don't. I don't think you do. I'm taking the $1 banquet pot pies. Oh no.

Damn. I love them though. Those things, man. no. Damn, I love them, though. Those things, man. It's like... I love those. They take so long to cook, so you're like, it's really... It's like... Oh, you're an oven guy, huh? Oh.

I'll mic them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, some of them are oven only. Yeah, I think the banquet ones are oven only. I think you can microwave the Marie calendars. Those oven only's, is that because the chicken isn't cooked yet?

What's going on there? I don't know, but it's like... I think it's the shit that they're in, the tin or whatever you can't put in a microwave. The oven only was too high a cost of admission for me. If I picked up a box and it said oven only on it, I said, go with God. I wish you nothing but luck, but I

won't be eating you today no i used to fucking love it like the banquet specifically it tasted like it's so it's one of the only frozen foods that like actually tasted like a homemade meal yeah that's right that gravy it tastes it didn't taste like oh mom's not coming home tonight. It tasted like... You did two at a time? Yeah, of course. Of course. Of course. They were a dollar. Yeah. But yeah, when I first left the house and I was kind of out on my own, a dollar, I mean, it was just

really got me through some hard times. Tastes great. Still tastes great. Still tastes great. But you can taste it and you'd still be like, that shit's fire. Tons of pepper. I would do two at a time and then when they were both done, I'd dump them on the the plate mix them all together so it was kind of like a stew i didn't like eat them out of the thing and then just tons of pepper and it was yeah that'd be dinner a big dinner for two bucks sean would you fish the carrot medallions out of there or what

i would eat them i would eat them i'd eat that disgusting slop. You know, the only downside to those, the dollar bank with Popeyes, man. Hot as shit when they come out. Oh, yeah. And I wasn't a real patient boy. Yeah, you gotta wait like 10 minutes, 15 minutes to eat those things. Crazy hot when they come out. Or you wait five minutes and you do that kind of bite where you're like,

Like, you don't even know if you like it. Yeah, you're like, the flavor is just hot. Yeah, you got the jizz face. Yeah. You're like blasting air out over it somehow. It's like cradled in your tongue. I would use tortillas. I'd get tortillas in there.

Sometimes I would make pot pie wraps every now and again. Wait. Like I would get a tortilla and just fill it with the pot pie ingredients and make a little pot pie wrap. That kind of sounds good, actually. You know what? It is good. A voice of reason.

It is good. So even with the crust, you would crumble the crust up? Yeah. I would just cut the whole thing. Like I would dump them out of the cups or whatever and just cut the whole shit up, mix it all together.

So yeah, it was just like stew almost. That's kind of like cooking. Yeah. It is. They were good. Whenever I can get a nice pot pie, it's always fun. When you're at a restaurant, they do have a legit big pot pie.

It's a good get. I never really get it in a restaurant. It's like. Really? Well, I mean, I'll eat it if it's around. I just, it's never like, it's never what leaps out. Oh yeah. I love a good pot pie.

I mean the frozen one specifically, but yeah, but that's my first pick. Excellent first pick. And a dollar. Come on. Yeah. Seriously. I'm going to go here. Something that might be a little bit more, seriously. I'm going to go here, something that might be a little bit

more local. I'm going to take the frozen burrito, but I'm going to take specifically the Reeser brand frozen burrito. Reeser, huh? Let me look it up. I don't know what it is now. Local to what? LA, Portland? Well, Reeser

was Portland. It was Oregon. Yeah, the Baja Cafe now is what they're called oh yeah i remember yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah dude just did you have a whole method for those it was like a spicy red hot beef specifically the red hot beef frozen burrito and the bolivian hit squad i've probably eaten like 10,000 of those in my life, and I don't think one of them was cooked all the way through. I don't think a single one of them. Those things were like the earth itself. There was always

a hot middle, and then polarized caps on either side. It never warmed up all the way through, right? And I just didn't care. It would be hot as shit in the middle. Yeah. Hot as shit in the middle. It's ending up the same temperature where it's going. You know what I mean?

Right in my stomach. So I don't care at all. But the red hot beef one, it was just the right kind of spicy. Sometimes you're hitting that with the sriracha. Sometimes you've got an open sour cream where you're dolloping a little sour cream. Yeah. Dollop some sour cream. I fucking, I would come home in between daily doubles or daily triples of football and eat like six of those and then go right to sleep.

Yeah. Right. That's always the kicker. Right to bed. Right to bed. I would do three and halfway through the microwave process, I would take the middle one out and move it to one of the sides and put one of the side ones in the middle because I was like,

I'm going to try to even out the cooking. And I would poke little holes in the middle with the fork and then I would fill it with a little shredded cheese if I was getting crazy and let that cook a little bit. Oh, look at you. I love it. I wish I had an ounce of that kind of patience when I was microwaving food and I never did.

Yeah, no, it was to get it. When was the last time you had yourself a microwave burrito? It's been a while for me. Well, I feel like not that long. Because they also had, I used to get some Whole Foods that were actually pretty good. They would get the $5 ones that actually felt like burritos, kind of. Like big ones. Those aren't, by the way, I've had those.

They're not better than a Reese's. No, they're not. They're not better. They're different. They're worse, in fact. That that's what i was looking for it's a microwave burrito that's what like it's a microwave burrito they all are they are in fact made worse by the foolish attempt to make them better you know what i mean when they're in there like putting like real beans or whatever like stop huh please stop it you want the middle to be some kind of a gelatinous single substance

I don't know what it is cat food looking burrito juice burrito juice squeezes out the corner when you bite it like a tortilla go-gurt like a zesty go-gurt they're so good three hot ones

right out of the gate and then as it is a serpentine draft They're so good. Three hot ones right out of the gate. Yeah, we came out good, guys. And then, as it is a serpentine draft, I'm going to go ahead and take... Now let me know if this is okay or if this is too broad. Too broad.

I'm going to take the Ben and Jerry's family of ice cream treats. I think that's okay. So you're taking ice cream, but we can fine. I think that's okay. I wasn't. So you're taking like ice cream, but we can still... I'm taking Ben and Jerry's ice cream pints specifically. Right. So you can go out, if you want to take other brands, that doesn't

bother me. Plenty of frozen treats. Plenty of other frozen treats. I specifically want the Ben and Jerry's. If I had to pick, if you forced me into it, if you held a gun up to my head, if you backed me into a corner corner fish food they got like chocolate covered fish they got like a marshmallow vein

I'm not a big sweets guy I won't eat fish food just because it's got the word fish I'll eat it but I never buy it because it's got the word fish in it you are a wild man you don't even eat like Swedish fish I hate Swedish fish for a different reason He hates the Swedes

Yeah I don't like the politics I can't deal with how they run their country Fucking Scandinavians The way they fucking dominate Eurovision It's just like they're good but they're not that good You know what I mean? It's irresponsible I like Americone Dream

Netflix and Chilled is a pretty fun one. A newer one. I haven't had that one. It's fun. Don't they have the ones with the core? Like it's like... Yeah. It's like a candy core.

If I go to an ice cream place, I like to keep it pretty simple. But if I'm going into the freezer aisle, give me the fucking... Just give me that garbage. Give me that garbage. Just mix it up. just throw shit in there I want a debris heavy

just fucking chunked up situation I'll put some some caramel syrup on it when I get home too sometimes like I'll really keep myself awake and also Derry doesn't agree with me anymore and I know what I'm doing

you're getting Jewish in your old age. Does it still work for you, Derry? Or is it getting harder the older you get? It hurts. You sound like an aging basketball player. But I still lace them up every now and then. I'm not ready to hang up the skates. I mean, my recoup time, I can't play back-to-backs anymore.

Yeah. I certainly can't do back-to-backs anymore. But in the playoffs, I'll get us there. I'm like Isaac's Clippers a little bit. Yeah, that's a low blow, man. That's a low blow. You know what I mean? A lot of scheduled rest.

DNP rest. Yeah. Coach's decision. There's something very 80s about Ben and Jerry's to me, too. It feels like your parents cutting loose. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. Something like pastel wallpaper about it that I like.

It is nice, too. You get yourself a little... Seems like it's a one sitting amount of ice cream, even though it's way more than one sitting. Yeah, it's definitely not. When you go look at the serving sizes on there and you're like, 3.5. That's crazy. Am I a health nut?

That feels personal. David, time for your second pick. Second pick. And this is weird because this is a later edition. I don't really buy them that much, but they are fire. I just don't. Can't have that shit in my house all the time. I'm taking the, and tell me if you guys have ever done this.

I'm taking the White Castle sliders. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know why Frozen, somehow they're able to totally recreate the White Castle experience they lose nothing in translation nothing in translation it's crazy

it's nuts it's the Pablo Neruda poem of the frozen food aisle it's beautiful it's just when you do it you're like wait so is this what they're doing at white castle they're just like i go there that's the feeling you have yeah well i mean they are steamed right maybe that's why it's so i just i've never because i never because when harold and kumar came out i had never been to white castle and we didn't have it in colorado yeah and then i and then but then

those frozen ones came out and I tried it and I was like, yeah, I would have done all kinds of shit for that too. I've still never been to one. When you go to one, it's not as good. No. Yeah, I've never... The fries are kind of a moment.

Honestly, but I've only seen like five. Really? Yeah. I don't think there's any in Portland. There's sure none in Sioux Falls. I don't remember ever seeing them in LA could you put a frozen White Castle burger

into a steam cooker like it was like home like I bet I bet you could can you do that shit with air fryers can you put

like is that a steam cooker is that the same thing no it's more like a mini oven an air fryer is more like a mini oven a steam cooker is like an instant pot

yeah maybe a steam cooker or I'm even just talking about like what you put like like a homemade dim sum no like one of those like oh the bamboo things like a bamboo basket yeah you could do that i forgot a dutch oven was a real thing other than a fart under the blanket i forgot you could like cook food in a dutch oven i mean you can you can cook up a bad attitude in a dutch oven I mean, you can. You can cook up a bad attitude in a Dutch oven, I'll tell you that. If you go to a baseball, if you watch a baseball game and somebody says they hit an upper decker,

what do you think that is? Put the toilet and a party on top. They hit an upper decker. I'm like, why'd they go take a shit up there? They're in the middle of a game. Well, that's gross. That's weird. They give them a run for that.

Oh, an upper-decker is a thing that doesn't make any sense. Never done it. No, me either. Me neither. No, you got to be a dark, twisted individual to do an upper-decker at a party. They invited you to a party. That's why I don't get, like, hey, let's fuck with this house

that we got to go to a party at. Come on. Poop in the tank? Shout out to the visionary who did that first. If you're going to do it, do it at home. That's not what he was. And he's definitely not listening to this

because that person's dead. Whoever did that for the first time is dead. They killed him because they caught him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That right there is enough of a deterrent. The fact that I might get caught, even by somebody who would laugh

and think it was funny, I'd still can't be in that position standing on a toilet pooping in the top of it standing in the toilet pooping on the top of it White Castle Sliders shout out to the White Castle Sliders

at Canard in Portland, Oregon my favorite restaurant I didn't know they had them there. Sliders are... I love a little slider. They are. Oh, I thought you were going to say something else, Sean. You just said they are.

Yeah, I'm just... They are. I'm looking at my picture. They are dank. They are. They are dank. Sean Jordan, time for your second and third picks, as it is a serpentine draft. So, second pick

Stan Savory, we pick Hot Pockets Oh! Yeah! Hot Pockets! And it's funny because the same you get the same problem as you do with the microwave burritos I would use the sleeve, I'm one of the only people I met

that would actually put them in that weird microwave sleeve Dude, I always was like I would use the sleeve. I'm one of the only people I met that would like actually put them in that weird. Oh yeah. I would use the sleeve. Dude, I always was like, why not? They give it to me. So I'm going to use it.

And then I would do it for like a minute, take them out. I'd poke holes with the fork and twist a little bit. So it would open up. So they'd vent. Now put them in for like another minute. And yeah, hot pockets,

barbecued chicken. Always been my favorite. The, not the chunk barbecued grilled chicken, but the thin one that feels like lunch meat chicken almost. You know what I'm talking about? That one's always been my favorite.

And then they started getting nuts with the pretzel buns and all this stuff. All good. Love them all. Yeah, Hot Pockets. To me, they've gone too far. I never graduated past pepperoni pizza. Yeah. I don't like pepperoni pizza. Yeah. I don't like them, though, that much.

Healthy. They got lean pockets, and you're like, stop it. It's mean to do to people. Be like, oh, I got the healthy Hot Pockets. They don't exist. Just do one. Maybe not one, but do three things, because the ham and cheese was also good. I don't know.

I'm not one to stifle innovation here. I don't want to come off like that. No, but then they get to broccoli, chicken, carbonara, or whatever, and you're like, oh, or it's just different chicken. Just have your chicken selection and be like, this is white chicken, here's red chicken,

here's yellow chicken. Full blown honesty time, did you ever put your wiener in one of those Hot Pocket jackets? No, but what I did do not even that long ago was put it in a toilet paper tube because I was like, I wonder if it will fit in a toilet paper tube. So that's the one embarrassing thing I have put my wiener in.

Feels like yes, right? I thought you were talking about a hot pocket sleeve. You put your wiener in a toilet paper tube recently. I did. Ian was talking about a hot pocket sleeve. I was talking about putting your wiener in a hot pocket sleeve. You put your wiener in a toilet paper tube recently. I did. Ian was talking about a hot pocket sleeve. I was talking about putting your wiener in a hot pocket sleeve, which would be funny. I got confused. I thought you were

talking about putting a hot pocket sleeve in a toilet paper tube. I didn't realize you were talking about putting your penis in there. No, the wiener, yes, to calm everyone down, the wiener does fit just fine. Did you think it wasn't? Good for you. Were you erect or not yeah oh okay well yeah i was gonna say like yeah i wasn't doing that i wasn't doing the job but i

was like i wonder and so yeah what time of day was this it was a while ago um i don't know noon i know you and laura still together but it feels like a day you didn't have custody somehow. Even though that's... Oh, this is way before, Max. Oh, this is pretty... This isn't like... This is probably when I... Maybe eight, seven, eight years ago I did that. Oh, you were saying it was like it happened recently.

That's what I was saying. I'll do it again before we're done recording this. Go do it right now. Don't test me. Yeah, good check. That means I got to rock up. I can't... Get a boner and with toilet paper, put it on on and see if you can hold it up with toilet paper that's a

strong one you should train your get your dick all buff by doing like toilet paper roll yeah get it ready for beach season yeah it's coming damn near here you're lucky you got a june gloom dude i'll go to savvy island i to let him know. Go to Savvy Island nude beach with a buff dick. Have you? There's a guy. There's like, if you Google Savvy Island, like, naked guy, there's like one naked famous dude who's got like a hanger down to his knees.

Hammer. It is. Yeah. He's all leather skinned. He's buck looking. Yeah. Anyway, Hot Pockets. It's fun that we got to where we got.

Hot Pockets. Hot Pockets.'s fun that we got to where we got Hot Pockets and your third pick? my third pick I'm gonna go to the Breakfast World and I've been doing this as of late this has been happening because Max likes them so I'm gonna go Eggo Waffles oh come on

classic shot is killing it I was taking that next man I fucking love Eggo Come on. Classic. Top tier pick. Yeah. Sean is killing it. I was taking that next, man. I fucking love Daegos. Yeah. Blueberry, any of them. Mm-hmm.

Waffles. That was a weird time. Do you think they're doing a little too much now, or are you fine with what they're doing? I mean, they seem to be doing a lot, but it was like, I don't know. When I was a kid, I feel like they were more experimental. I mean, you remember the cinnamon toast waffle?

Yeah. Like all that. They were going nuts back then. Are they still doing that? They still have those. And they have thick ones now, like thick cinnamon toast waffles that like, you really don't need any syrup for.

They're just like candy. Almost. It's pretty wild. I believe that. Have you toyed with the, do you have a waffle iron? We have a little one that makes heart-shaped waffles that I got Laura for Mother's Day like two years ago, I think.

That's cute, and I like that. Yeah, it's fun. You ever make pancakes? What do you do? She makes pancakes all the time. Probably twice a month, she'll make pancakes. And she'll make like 30. Because they're like little guys.

Like if you flatten a baseball, maybe. Oh, yeah. And yeah, I do not make pancakes. Sometimes she'll walk me through it. And then, you know, in the same way, it's like, all right. So you're not going to remember this. Pancakes are tough, though. Pancakes are, that's not a tough thing to make.

We have a griddle, like a foreman kind of, but you can flip it over and it's a griddle. Oh, like a flat top. Yeah, like a flat top thing. Yeah, you make the whole breakfast on there. It's great. I forget that we have two. I'm so, I just been so broken, like a flat top thing. Yeah, you make the whole breakfast on there. It's great. I forget that we have two. I just was so broken forever, so I just always think about microwave or boiling water.

Those are the only two ways I think I can prepare food. It's like, no, you can use, we have a bunch of stuff that you can use to make food. You can go crazy. It doesn't have to be mac and cheese or Hot Pockets, but a lot of the times it is. Are you sampling these Eggos every time you make one i have been lately yeah yeah i've been getting different ones it goes it's a slippery slope for me man i'll crush a hole you just crush those

things i put so much syrup on them it's my condiment game doesn't change breakfast or not so i'll like you can also go sans condiment. I think an Eggo's good on its own. Well, that's what Max does, dude. Because every day she wakes up, she's like, she wants toast. But she doesn't want anything on it, so she's just eating bread. Which is fine, but I'm like, we can get you a little bit more than bread. We can church up the bread a little bit, so I just make her a plain waffle.

And she digs that. I'm your father. You don't have to eat bread. You don't have eat bread you can't doing fine okay we're doing fine some like lamest shit can i have a piece of toast of course you can have a piece of toast but you will have more than that you will have a blueberry frozen waffle is what you will have you're my daughter i mean she can say her full name now. It's pretty cute. Maxine, I'm too old for this shit, Jordan. Maxine

Shaquille Aloysius Jordan. She can say the whole thing now. David Bort, time for your third pick. I have to get a dessert at some point because it's the freezer. Okay, yeah, you know what? I'm taking those the Neapolitan ice cream

sandwich. Oh, yeah. Come on. Summer vacation. Crushing one of those. The texture. Whatever that is, the cookie gets on your hands. It's so sticky. Yeah, but that shit was amazing.

Like the cookie relents and then that firm ice cream, but not too firm, not too firm. Just give it just a little bit. Just like, just, I don't like ice cream. That's like hard to get into.

That's why those sandwiches are good. Cause it's like soft ice cream. Push out the sides a little bit. Yeah. It was just, oh, they're so tasty. God.

Oh, they're so sticky too. God. It sounded like you were in a Brazzers video. Yeah. That came from deep inside. It's ancient. It's an ancient lust.

It is, yeah. It was one of those things that you'd get one at school sometimes. Yeah. And they were like not too big. You know, they're perfect size. To eat three of them? Yeah. And they were like, yeah, they're like not too big. You know, they're perfect size to eat three of them. Yeah. Well, within a teacher's budget. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. That was when, when you had like, when, when I lived with like crews of dudes, you'd buy a box of those and you would just have to be prepared. You get one maybe two but you'd have to be prepared like when that was in the freezer

everyone was just gonna it's like getting some juice that shit's gone it wasn't like this is mine it was just like all right i gotta eat as many of these as i feel comfortable eating you're gonna track down who ate them nobody's gonna admit it who ate all my ice cream sandwiches yeah we all did. Yeah, everybody, dude. It's, yeah, all or nothing. But yeah, that was, ah, those are so, those are so clutch. Neapolitan, too.

Good little twist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got like three ice cream picks and a sandwich all wrapped into one. Yeah, let's church it up a little bit. I must express, though, that I don't mean a Klondike bar. I mean an ice cream sandwich. No, yeah. Yeah, I said no, yeah, yeah, yeah. don't mean a klondike bar i mean an ice cream no yeah yes i know yeah nothing wrong with the klondike bar klondike's a dink well i mean if we're gonna get into it now is anybody gonna pick it because i'm not i'm not no i'm not i wasn't gonna little i mean the structure there it leaves it leaves something to be desired that hard chocolate when it because

when you break a piece of that hard chocolate, it's like an ice cap broke off or something. And so then you have to take that whole piece off and now you just have a bunch of exposed ice cream. The ice cream is good though. It is. So is the chocolate. But the chocolate gets on your hands.

As is all ice cream. Yeah. Yeah, but the cookie stays there. Like the cookie, it breaks where your teeth go in. And a Klondike, when you bite it, it just all shatters. It's like you just hit glass or something.

It's an emotionally fragile piece of ice cream. It needs therapy. Yeah. Yeah, it's just not. It doesn't stay on its own. Mork-ass sandwich. Yeah, exactly. Mork-ass.

But, yeah. Time for my third and fourth picks. I'm going to take this in the third round because it's a first round talent but i'd get laughed out of the gym for taking it in the first round okay with my third pick i'm taking a big old bag of ice you know i you know that just popped into my a second ago i was like i wonder if he going to take a bag of ice. I didn't think about that. I got two in my freezer right now, but all right. It's a good utility player. I mean, I love it.

I love ice. Any number of things. Put it in a beverage. It's fantastic. Maybe you need, maybe you're like cooking some veggies and you need to shock them. You know, you boiled some veggies up. You need to shock them. You throw them in ice, put them in a cocktail.

It's fantastic. It's clutch. If you show up to a barbecue or a party with a big bag of ice, you're welcome. Yeah. Oh, thank God. Put it on the beers. They were getting warm. Yeah.

You always need the ice because nobody thinks like that. Everyone's like, I'm going to bring 15 white balls. You always need the ice. That's something that I'm really familiar hearing. That's exactly right. You always need the ice. You always need the ice. That's his new podcast.

Yeah. You always need the ice. That's his new podcast. You always need the ice. This pic is dedicated to our new super producer. So, just so we're clear about that. But it also just stands on its own. It's fantastic.

You just need it, and I feel like my cat is being so cute right now. I'm sorry. I was a little distracted. She's just like stretching up on the wall. There's nothing there. She's like pondering. Eddie! Dude, Betty caught a mouse the other night at the crib. A fucking live mouse. The mouse who got Laura pregnant?

No, that was a rat. That was a rat. And I murdered that thing. That thing is dead. I let this mouse live its days out in the park. We caught it live, took it down to the park. I digress. Following my big old bag of ice pick. Ice pick, dude.

Corn dogs. Oh, darn it. Oh, good pick. That was like a fundamental, between those and the Reese's Frozen Burritos, it was a fundamental part of my childhood. I imagine they were got a costco just a big old bag probably about a hundred count you're talking like stick in corn dogs right the big dog the blue the blue box right yeah the blue box like a briefcase yeah exactly yes yes i couldn't tell you what brand it is but i could tell you it's a big old box of corn dogs. Microwave three of them.

Hit them with the ketchup and the mustard. And then you fucking... If you were on the go, if I was in a hurry, I'd just put the... line the whole side horizontal with the condiment so I could just eat it flat. You know, like if I had to leave immediately. Oh yeah, there you go. Yeah, absolutely. Let me ask you something. Because me and...

I brought this up to the homie the other day. We were talking about, you know what I mean? Homemade corn dogs? No, I've never done that. Like make the breading and all that? I'm thinking of getting in there, like getting Costco hot dogs, doing the corn meal myself, and making homemade corn dogs. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

Yeah. I used to go to Hot Dog on a Stick all the time when I worked at ABC on a mouse or ABC on a mouse, ABC mouse it made me like appreciate the art of, cause they would dip it and like you'd get to watch the whole thing get made it was fun we're of the age now where we could be dipping our own corn dogs

I think we could dip our own dogs yeah, we could be dipping our dogs I mean, Maxine's gonna be two in June I'm doing it I'm doing it before the weekend maybe get some you know what mix it up get a chorizo and dip it see what happens whoa

see what happens what if I get a bratwurst dip any sausage get a big curly kielbasa get a big curly stick. If I'm going to eat a sausage, it's contractually. Shout out to Gold Star Sausages. The best in Denver. They're local.

Sausage. I fuck with Gold Star Seve, yeah. Maybe it's not local. Maybe it's not only in Colorado. I don't know. Doesn't matter. I want it to be. But you're brand loyal with a sausage, and that's a place, that's a goal that any one of us

would be. Oh yeah, we buy it by the case. The frozen corn, the amount of nights where I spent staying up till like 4 a.m. playing GoldenEye

where like a Lincoln Log cabin of corn dog sticks were on my mom's coffee table is too numerous for me to count. Oh, that's so sick. David, we're going to get to your fourth pick, but not until we take another short little break.

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Already in progress, Ian Carmel of the Beaverton Carmels just selected frozen corn dogs in the Freezer Isle Food All Fans Say Everything draft. It is now time for David Borey's fourth pick. All right. So this is a specialty player, and I know that. But some people are going to remember some art that's very specific. Do you guys remember? I don't know why I'm laughing before. Do you guys remember the Stouffer's microwave panini?

No. You used to have to open the box and fold it, and then you would put the panini on top of the box it tasted like a panini from a restaurant so there's there's like there's new there i forget what they're called it's like big hunk or something like that but there's fuck vegetables dude never again there's a company that does that right now they got those big thick paninis that you put up on like they make you you can make a coffee table out of the box and put it on top of that. Yeah. So I know what you're talking about.

They're fantastic. You know what I'm talking about? It was like, bro, that shit was like, I was transported from my kitchen at Sylvan House to some kind of a corner bistro. It was like they tasted like real bought product. It was amazing. There's something so wonderfully American about freezer food,

technological advances, like everything good about this country. All of the promise of America can be found in that little Jackie put on hot pockets, the little table you make for a panini, like everything. Like every time you like see that you're like some guy who works at like a frozen food company in the Midwest bought himself a late cabin off of

that. Right. Exactly. You know, exactly. It looks like if I had enough of it, it would shield me from the sun or something. Like I'd be safe if I went out on the sun and walked around an outfit

made of that stuff. Hot pocket sleeve. Listen, I've never, I've never cooked a pizza in a brick oven, but I have cooked a panini on a table and it feels similar. I imagine. Yeah,

it must like, yeah, I used to, man, they're so good. They were cheap. It almost felt like, I think they stopped making them.

Like, it felt like they caught on to how good they were. And they were like, we got to pull it. We got to control it. Yeah. We got to pull it. Cause it was like like people just weren't

leaving their houses anymore you know what happened was big panini got a hold of him oh my god man big panini sounds like like the nickname of a basketball player from the 60s oh yeah for sure yeah absolutely yeah Tony big panini Robinson yeah he was a white guy but he played in the

ABA exactly exactly above the rim he was all above the rim. Big Benini stops at green lights and goes on red lights. You can't tell him anything. But yeah, those things were like... Man, I hope... If you guys out there listening remember those, hit me up somehow. I don't know how.

Fellow 28-year-olds. At one of us on Twitter. And then we'll tell david 28 year olds it's just it was they were crazy it was crazy how good they were stouffer's paninis oh yeah fucking big panini you know what you know what uh extra little ingredient came in that fold-out table dignity yeah they respected me as a consumer is what it felt like i deserve this i deserve a little something extra sean jordan time for your fourth and then your final picks how about that so tell me if you guys remember these this you got me sparked here david so

this is going to be my sweet treat the flintstones push pops you guys remember the other come on oh yeah those shits They were like orange cream. Yeah. Yes. They were all... It was like blueberry, red. I can taste them now that I'm talking about it. It's like blueberry.

They had red. And they were all like creamsicle before creamsicle was like a flavor or whatever. And they were so, so good. And I don't know if they even make them anymore. Those things were crazy. I would get to the bottom of those and I'd be sucking melted Flintstones juice out of those weird plastic tables at the bottom.

Yeah. You push it up and it got to be flat and you're like, this sucks. I want more. It was a weird setup for a candy or whatever. The push tube is who invented that? That guy's on a lake right now. Yeah, that guy's definitely on a lake

because it's a game. They made a game and a treat at the same time you have. They gave you some like like some control over what you were doing. It was just you could control how much push pop was out at one time. Flintstones in the house account was like

earning his check, dude. They were diversified. They were spread out. Between the other vitamins his check, dude. They were diversified. They were spread out. Between the other vitamins, they had us locked. They were recession-proof. They could do anything. They were like, whether it's vitamin times or push-pops times, we're good. We're golden. Let's make candy for these. Let's make bedtime candy for these kids or whenever.

That's when I took my vitamins. And all the time, I was like, this is candy. This is bedtime candy. Yeah, this is night candy. Two of our vitamins. Night candy and Big Panini, dude. They, this is night candy. Two of our vitamins. Night candy and Big Panini, dude. They're going to be in the remake of Roadhouse. I think that's actually Rihanna's parents. Night candy and Big Panini?

I think that's what happens when they come together. Night candy only hang glides. If he can't hang glide there, he's not going. Dude. Yeah, those, gosh, those things. They don't make them anymore, right? Like, I'm just grasping at straws. I think they still make them, but like, it's a Narnia

situation where after you turn 30, you can't see them anymore. So I'll ask David to look. Yeah, yeah, I'll find them for you. David and Isaac can go on the hunt. Yeah. Yeah, man, that was my sweet treat. And for my fifth pick, I'm going

Arby's curly fries they're brand new wow okay they're they're only what a draft i've only been seeing them for like a year or whatever but like arby's curly fries i remember laura showed me she made the fatal mistake of showing me one day and fred meyer and i was like so now we just got a bag on hand at the crib at all times. I like that. And now I know how easy it is. Like, I just, oh, wait, I just got to preheat the oven, put them in.

And then I got Arby's fries. And she's like, yep, that's all you got to do. It's dank. You can even, like, if you want to go in and pick out the curliest of the pigtails, you can do all that. You can just make a whole tray of pigtails. And then, you know what I mean? How you get one, normally one or two of those real dank ones when you get actual Arby's fries.

You can do the whole shit yourself. And a whole, it's like oops all berries, oops all dreidels, but with, you know, fries. Doesn't take much, does it? No, I'm excited about stuff. And also, I don't know if the oops all dreidels was on this draft or the previous one. It was on the previous one.

That's just a little Easter egg for the Patreon ads. Yeah. For the Patreon listeners, that chicken draft got heated. Yeah, there was a lot going on. Like a tray of Arby's curly fries, it got heated. Yeah, we left it all on the field. Yeah. And also, they sell Arby's sauce and horsey sauce at the store now. So you're really not drawing me into the, they sell Arby's Arby's sauce and horsey sauce

at the store now. So you're really not drawing me into the restaurant anymore, Arby's, but I appreciate what you're doing for me. Not for the in-house sit-down experience

of eating at an Arby's? I do like their three-pepper sauce. That magic is gone for you? I'll tell you what the thing about Arby's is that I still enjoy that a lot of these places

are leaving by the wayside is they still have their condiment pump station where you don't get packets, you don't get little ramekins you get ramekins but you fill it yourself you can like, you pump like we would just take the tray and just pump a lake of

Arby's sauce onto our tray well COVID never happened at Arby's never made it through that door not inside those hallowed halls of Arby's sauce onto our tray. Well, COVID never happened at Arby's. No, it didn't. Never made it through that door. Not inside those hallowed halls. Yeah, man. God, I still love an Arby's. You know, that's where we went.

I want to say we went to Arby's on Laura's birthday like four years ago. Like that was where she chose to go. How the fuck did you swing that? That was her choice. I think. And she married you? I mean, of course. Hey, Laura! She's been called in.

I can hear pots and pans. She's either mad or cooking. When did she pick? Laura! You're close enough to the mic. What year did we go to Arby's on your birthday? Jesus Christ. Oh my God. you're close enough to the mic what year did we go to Arby's on your birthday oh my god what year did we go to Arby's on your birthday I've been taking dating advice from this guy oh that's not a great idea

we did she's in the room now oh my god I'm trying to think of what would happen if I brought Dane to Arby's is that a smoke alarm in your hand I think she came in here with a smoke alarm in her hand like doing think she came in here with a smoke alarm in her hand, like doing grown-up Iona House

stuff, and I'm over here making her admit she went to Arby's on her birthday one time. It's her choice. Anyway. Well, now you don't have to. You can do it all at home. David, time for your final pick. So, it's tough.

There's so much on the board but I'm taking this I can't believe I got it in the fifth round I cannot believe I'm getting this in the fifth round I'm taking Totino's pizza rolls if I wasn't so pizza'd up already I was getting

they're so good come on it was a revolution it was a revolution. Yeah. It was a revolution. Yeah, that was. It swept the nation. I think we all, everybody, everybody knows.

Everybody knows. You know what I mean? So dippable. It was, I mean, I feel like we're the right age. Like when we were kids is when they came out. It was a hot new treat. Yeah. In the early 2000s.

New hot treat. Did you have the early 2000s. New hot treat? Did you have a system or did you just put the whole pizza roll in your mouth and just hope it was cooled down by then? Oh, I dipped them in ranch. Yeah. Oh, man. I made them in the oven and I dipped them in ranch. It's so good. Because making them in the oven, the microwave is good, but they're so soggy. When you make them in the oven the microwave is good but they're so soggy when you make them in the oven

it gets that crisp yeah that is that is yeah I mean I still put them in the microwave I know

I know I know who among us who among us if somebody else was making them if it was like somebody's mom at a sleepover and she'd went the oven route

that was always a great day oh my god she came through with like the big ass bowl of oven made pizza like damn if you're just like don't tell me when you start making them tell me when they're done I don't want to have to wait great day. Oh my god, she came through with like the big ass bowl of oven made pizza. Like damn, this is good. Don't tell me when you start making them. Tell me when they're done. I don't want to have to wait

that half hour. Yeah, I can't wait that half hour. You do just got to be like, I got pizza rolls. Don't even bother asking, do people want pizza rolls? Yes. Just make them, huh? Of course they do. If you put them in a bowl and poured milk over them, I'd eat them. Yeah. Just so good.

Can't really tell the difference between the flavors. Doesn't matter. No. No, it doesn't at all. So what I would do to check the heat is I would bite off the end, and I would squish out the guts for one of them. Oh, yeah. Depending on how hot they were, then I would gauge the throwing the whole pizza roll in my mouth.

I'd squish out the guts onto my thumb, snort it out. Yeah. Chop it up. Rub a little bit on your gum. Yeah. That's what you do the first day you get to prison. That's what you gotta do. No, man. Yeah. Pizza rolls. Perfect size. Just come on.

Oh, straight up. Absolutely. It's like they shrank hot pockets. Yeah. That's one thing. They don't have enough room to make unnecessary moves in pizza rolls. They're still, it's just like cheese, pepperoni. It's about it. No, it's prime real estate. It's all prime real estate. You can't put like one piece of broccoli in a pizza roll. No, I mean, that's what I mean about you can't tell the difference between the flavors. What were the flavors? I don't know.

Pepperoni and cheese. I swear. Sausage. I think there was a sausage one. I think there was a supreme one or something. Yeah. It's time for my final pick. The final pick of the draft. Unless, do you, I mean, we could do we've never done six rounds before.

We could do ten rounds on this. Deep draft. I mean, we could do, we've never done six rounds before. We could do 10 rounds on this. Deep draft. I feel like we could do an extra round here. You know what? I think we save it. I think we save it. Okay. Or come back for a two.

We do a round two. Or we do a Trader Joe's only round. We'd have to get a sponsorship, Ian. Can you swing a I talked to Trader Giato I stayed at a luxury hotel with him in Pasadena Trader Giato

before we do that though I have to take my final pick which is Dino Nugs oh fuck yeah yeah yeah yeah good on you. Good, good on you. Dude, just fun to say dino nugs.

Dino nugs. Just a little dino nug wandering into a pool of barbecue sauce falls in. Oh, no. Happens all the time. Something about the dinosaurs makes it taste better. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, poor you.

Oh, poor you. Oh, no. Oh, he got stuck in a T-Rex out for a walk with his family. Oh, and he fell into a pool of honey mustard. Oh, no. Oh, it ain't your day. The pterodactyl fork is going to come swipe you from the plate, drown you in a pool of hot sauce, of hot lava.

Yeah. Dino nugs, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still in the frozen section pretty heavily just like poking around and there's no everybody there's a lot of shit over there man like they're brand name stuff like they really evolved over the years to be like it's out of control i don't know if the tgi fridays even has any brick and mortars anymore but they're well represented in the frozen aisle they got a whole restaurant right there.

You can TGI Fridays on a Monday as far as they're concerned, because you can take it home with you, my friend. They really have transitioned, though. I haven't seen a TGI Fridays in forever. No, absolutely not. But you can get frozen potato skins. You can get mixers. Love it.

A third thing. Yeah, man. Those are our picks to recap should we do it do you want to do a one round Trader Joe's special I can I got a pick I actually got a few you know what let's do a Trader Joe's draft

just in general we're fucking doing it I like that too I'd rather keep this one short to recap Sean you went first you took the tombstone frozen pizza you took hot pockets, you took Eggo waffles you took the Flintstones push pops

and then you took Arby's brand frozen curly fries David you went second, you took banquet pot pies White Castle sliders Neapolitan ice cream sandwiches Stouffer's paninis with a fold-out table, and the Totino's pizza rolls. I went last. I took Reeser's frozen burritos,

Ben & Jerry's, a big old bag of ice, which I stand by, but it did hurt after you took pizza rolls on the fifth round. Corn dogs? You're in it to help. You help other people with that. For everybody.

And then Dino Nugs. We left a lot of stuff on the board, but we're not going to help you help other people it's for everybody and then dino nugs we left a lot of stuff on the board but we're not gonna should we say it I feel like if we can we can do a part two like

yeah definitely can I'm down for that like this is a two part alright yeah we've never done that that should be

never done that alright yeah back to back we're gonna do it next Isaac do you still wanna to say your pick? I feel like I should save my pick for part two, just in case one of you guys takes it.

We'll keep the powder dry. We'll keep the powder dry. Fuck, that does it. We want to hear your picks. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Thank you for holding us down.

Shout out to everyone on the AFE Shislakity. Shout out to all the cool people-F-E Patreon. Thank you for holding us down. Shout out to everyone on the A-F-E Shaslackity. Shout out to all the cool people on the A-F-E subreddit. Fuck you to the like 10 people who I don't fuck with anymore. You know why? No, I'm just joking. Even you guys are cool. Shout out to Super Producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Wow, have I already earned Super Producer title?

The Icebox is stocked, my friend. I think it's apt. I think it's apt that my first full episode with all three of you is about frozen foods. And my name is Ice. Yeah, I think it works. God did. To quote Sean Jordan, quoting DJ Khaled. God did. God did.

God did. Shout out to say Sue Carmel, shout to Frankie Ocean, shout to Sid, the dude shot to Haji beats, shout to the little piece of grapefruit pith that just fell out of my mouth while I was recording. Shout out.

And more important than all that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy, everything. Shacklackity. Tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shacklackity!