All Fantasy Everything - Fruits (w/ David Gborie & Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

On this AFE... we let the fruit fly.   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @marsmel IG: @mars.melSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting fruit, because we're all a bunch of little sweeties. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and as always, I'm joined by my friends and comedian, Sean Jordan, and back from Bolivia, Sir David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that... I got some weird energy. I haven't even had coffee. I'm on like black tea energy, dude.

You know what's nuts? I have had coffee. You have had coffee? You did. You don't drink coffee. Everything's going... I had two cups earlier. Why? What is going on? I just got a long day. Two scoops, dude. Yeah, i just got a long day two scoops dude yeah i just have a long day

man yeah i mean i had some too but i yeah wild you never you know the first time i think we ever rode to the record this show together we stopped to get coffee and you i think got a coffee to be polite because i was like let's get some coffee and you were like sure and then i found out that you don't drink coffee so i think it was i don't like i'm not like i'm not like i hate i just like i don't left to my own devices i have no problems like going and getting a coffee with somebody or something it's just like like i don't have any coffee in my house do you feel crazy when you've had a coffee because you don't really drink it i well i so this early this morning i had I went to go out go have breakfast with Brent

Gill come to Faded Denver May 20th super hard wall headlining and I had coffee with him if I haven't eaten yeah it makes me feel because one of these days with the wedding we went and I had a iced coffee and then I came home and I felt fucking nuts

yeah those go down those go down like water you drink those in your if you're thirsty it's crazy coffee on an empty stomach yeah i do feel it makes me feel like i feel i feel more energetic now than i usually would at this time of day but kind of okay but empty stomach that shit it really gets to me when i have coffee on an empty stomach my brain feels like it's moving faster but it's much worse yeah yeah it's not like good that's not a good thing for me my brain feels like it's rollerblading downhill where i'm like i'm really moving but i could die at any second and nothing's getting done

also i don't eat in the morning a lot so like my day's all weird today no matter what yeah those early not early but like 2019 episodes of this where we would go to head gun you know we've talked about it before but we just have tons of coffee and we'd do like two and then we'd all be like four hours in talking about how it feels like we're floating in the room and there was like a couple sneaky farts floating around in there too that nobody admitted to everyone's all hopped up on coffee it was fun it's fun but they were weird i don't fart so it must have been you dude yeah those farts are news to me i don't think i smelled anything yeah i didn't know that either did fart they were in there you just admitted that you were

farting i think you were fine everybody farted yeah this is like a peeing in the pool situation everybody also peed in the pool don't you start with me dude i'm a fat guy i have to be careful how i squeak them out dog exactly always be blamed on me okay exactly out here busting them we have discussed this that whenever yes it's you would be blamed i wouldn't be the one that's like that it's never the fat guy unless it's definitely the fat guy yeah yeah exactly exactly and you'll know when it's the fat guy because it sounds like a oboe solo maybe i did fart who's to say it was it was you i don't want to say as well it easily could have been your uh it could have been your john cryers or your uh who took a dookie in the studio not me yes you could be then who could have been

malloy did we ever let malloy in there he probably farted all over the place i feel like it was you though malloy definitely in there like like somehow so stoned for 9 a.m just like yeah so stoned somehow three cocktails deep. My man. That guy's living at his own speed. I really never met a man who had a constitution for drugs and alcohol like Mike Malloy. He's astonishing. It's really amazing. Yeah. But he will end up like making you slap him in the chest or something.

I'll end up doing it on my own. I make him slap me in the chest. I mean, I've definitely started it with him so many times. And he's like, I'm going to end it, Sean. I'm going to end it. And we, you know, right outside the roost. And he ends it. And I'm like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

And he's like, why'd you start? And then I'll get up and start again and then run away. Those kind of things. That's what you're doing at your wedding instead of stepping on a glass, right? You know, like in the Jewish tradition. Yeah, you both just slapped Mike Malloy on the chest. Yeah. Everybody got here. Well, like a below on the chest yeah everybody got here

well like a bulk of the some family got here saturday it's i mean i'm anxious it's an anxious time 12 how many i know 12 12 it's an anxious time out yeah i'm an anxious person and it's just it's like i can tell it's gonna be a tough couple weeks not really but for me i will be like what would i high strung would that be the term i would say just tense i'll be wound tight it's gonna you're gonna breeze through it though man the wedding i'm thrilled about it's just getting like getting everything in the like right now we're cleaning the garage getting everything organized ready to go in the truck we got big connect four though that's really all that matters there's gonna be

a big connect i saw a picture of you in that suit, and I think breezed is the word, dude. Yeah, that suit was great. Man, I'm so excited. I got myself some Stacey Adams. I don't know if we talked about it on here yet, but I wanted them. There's a scene in Baby Boy where Ving Rhames Tyrese comes out, and he's like, nice shoes, and he goes, Stacey Adams. And right

then I was like, well, at some point, I'm going to get married in a pair of Stacey Adams, and that point is 12 days from now. Was marriage what you always thought about was stacy adams probably i mean that's what he was gonna do that night he was gonna take her to a club in compton and marry her right i wonder what stacy adams looks like hold on i bet he doesn't look like i don't want to see i don't want to see i don't either i don't either probably gonna be like mr goodbar look like i don't know he makes me feel good i have a pretty solid vision of what i think stacy adams looks like a lot like a calmer ving rames and

baby boy dressed like that honestly is what i want stacy adams to look like just to i don't even have it in my head what does she what does god look like you know what i mean i can't even find i don't know what she looks like yeah there's a reason for that what if stacy adams is stacy adams a woman i've never thought about this adams is stacy adams a woman i've never thought about this i looked up stacy adams the man and nothing i always assumed it was a man you got to say the man stacy adams is how you got to search for the man stacy adams i'm seeing a lot of crocodile i'm seeing a lot of pastels i'm not seeing when you do the ceremony when you're uh officiating will you say do you the man sean and then whatever just call me the man

first stacy adams was founded in 1875 by the jazz age the company's wingtips were popular popularized by musicians like cab calloway and lionel hampton okay so cab calloway it's because it was two people oh will you meet stacy and henriel adams i like to think henriel is one name and that's the woman so it's william and henriel i kind i think those are two white guys and i kind of feel like by going by stacy adams this is why i didn't want to know they're kind of like trying to sneak their way into the black community more i don't know because most of the men named stacy i know but this no i know a black dude named stacy he's the first guy who gave me a spam sandwich stacy augman any men named stacy i know are black men that's fair yeah but it was founded in brockton massachusetts which is when i think of massachusetts

think of white man massachusetts ian's rap name we don't want to let's let's massachusetts yeah it was no you had a better one you remember what it was that's right con etiquette con etiquette because massachusetts had to add a t in there so you got a state name come on yeah i haven't i'll go get the emmy i don't want to but i would you know you want to are you talking to i do want i do want to i do want to just see you stirring up unless we dig into stacy adams situation the better what we do know is sean bought a pair of turquoise crocodiles for his wedding 12 days i get to do whatever i want it's my wedding weeks that's can i be one of those guys it's my wedding week i thought you said once you get

married then you get to do whatever you want and i was gonna say brother once i get married i'm gonna go get the uh vas deference cut that's a week after the wedding so it's a busy may for your boy are you a groomzilla are you no i'm not big connect four and stacy adams those are my two i died on two hills and. That's what they were. They'll be at your wedding, right? Big Connect 4 and Stacey Adams? If they got direct flights from San Quentin to Sandy, Oregon, then yeah, they'll be at my wedding.

And if they can get out on good behavior, which they have not been behaving well, so we'll see. But yeah, Big Connect 4. Who would you rather... If you were going to go get in a fight, you could take one person with you. Would you rather take connect for stacy adams stacy adams stacy adams stracy adams has a straight razor in his breast pocket yeah stacy adams doesn't need a nickname dude big big connect four has got to be out here like you know bigging himself up creating some sort of mystique about

himself he had to tell us he is big stacy just lives big yeah he just is big dude okay all right i'm bringing big connect four i feel like big connect four he might not even show up also what if it's a gang of dudes i might need him to connect six yeah dude you're coming up too short yeah come on bro we hot i thought we were putting in work that's what he does in fights he just ties everyone's dicks together, so there can only be four people. It's like a rat king for dicks.

It's a dick king. Just a bunch of dudes. We live like this now. Hello, sharks. I'm offering a 10% stake for $250 for 250 000 my idea is a rat king for dicks can you elaborate on that right-headed i shouldn't have to mark i shouldn't have to now mark could you see yourself out i don't want your weird money that that can't see vision i think your phone's google feature can

uh elucidate more on that idea for me and i'll just sit back here and wait for the offer to come to me man two unnamed people that'll be at the wedding i remember back in the day they were they're a couple and one of them was talking to the other and asked where this place was and he goes it's on the corner of google and use your fucking iphone and it was pretty funny i feel like i you've recounted that before tony and heather yeah they're gonna be at the wedding yeah yeah now i'm gonna have a good time i keep forgetting now but they're gonna be there and like man everyone gets to see spliff dude i'm so excited my mom split i'm gonna start crying man i'm gonna cry i i don't know i know you guys know i'm gonna cry i might cry more than you think and i'm sure you think i'm gonna cry a lot

i'm possible as soon as i see shane walk towards the buffet is gonna be where that's where i start crying shane by the way he was in town for one night the other week we got ourselves a fancy boy steak dinner i saw that yeah it was great i uh i got what i do with him he and i went for a nice little walk and got ourselves some iced coffees while sue carmelo's in town oh how was that sue was just there huh it was great she came to the show we went to the getty villa i loved it that might be my favorite spot in la that's the one it is so beautiful there oh no that's the regular getty this is the getty villa wait where's the villa the villa is like on the one uh and like you get it's overlooking the ocean like which i guess the other one is too but this was like a villa that's full of like sculptures and shit it's great yeah okay

no i haven't been to that i gotta go to that yeah that's that's villa that's full of like sculptures and shit it's great yeah okay no i haven't been to that i gotta go to that yeah that's that's a that's a beautiful little afternoon nice place to take a lady whether it should be your mother or even perhaps an ingenue in your life genu now on genu that and that's for everybody listening that means cashmere they know they everybody you know it's a fine it's a cashmere wool blend yeah yeah like yeah like a throw that you wear that has arms but with no pits i mean if you mean if you mean it feels scratchy on your nipples then yeah yeah that's 100 right yeah man if you means you might be able to pick one up at nordstrom's

yeah you got it see now that's weird you still have i like to pick them up at nordstrom's take them back to cole's you know what i'm talking about there it is i'm just i'm stuck on this so you still have nipples huh you didn't get rid of them still yeah you didn't do that or that wasn't a thing in elizabeth i don't get this bit well i don't either if i was doing a bit no i just we all got rid of our n, we all got rid of our nipples. We all got rid of our nipples in Sioux Falls. When we were like 16. I was born, I was born without nipples. I look like a.

I've seen both your nipples. We've been swimming. I wear, I wear a t-shirt with nipple. I wear a nipple t-shirt just so, you know, I don't want to deal with the whole thing. To make me comfortable? Yeah.

Otherwise it just looks like a big, big piece of clay. The game might be up. i do have nipples uh i do and i i you know i said i was saying that to sort of back sean up but now that now that we're pulling out receipts i do i do have nipples i mean i'll be in seattle june 2nd that's about it there is sean jordan on twitter sean cougar mel jordan on instagram he'll be in seattle june 2nd i wouldn't recommend checking it out but uh cool guy Jokes 87 is here. David Borey. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah. When does this come out?

Thursday. Thursday. This Thursday? And I'll be in Seattle June 2nd. David, would you recommend that people go? I wouldn't recommend people check that out. I would recommend it. Nobody went last time.

I don't know about that, but, you know, May 12th, I will be in Seattle for the Upper Left Fest. In Seattle for the Upper Left Fest, I have two shows. And then May 20th in Denver, Colorado, come to see the Faded Denver with headliner Subha Argyle running a new hour. And oh, yeah, May 6th and 7th, if you're in Colorado, go to Trinidad, Colorado. I'll be at the Southwest chief comedy and bicycle festival. And you know, anything else go on my Instagram, you filthy pigs. Yeah. Not on your Twitter.

Can't happen. But if you come out and you sit and you rep, if you come out and you reference this promo, I will squeeze your butt. Yeah. Nice. Give it a good, just a good checking out a ham and a ralph sort of squeeze give you a little attaboy or at a girl as yeah no i won't i won't because i feel like i'll get in a lot of trouble yeah yeah i mean a consenting butt squeeze never did anybody

any harm you know i knew this comedian who used to always do boob squeezes like on his instagram and i was like this feels like you're just asking to yeah getting some sort of this is weird wait also what uh what corner are you trying to take on being the boob squeeze guy yeah i never it it just felt like too openly perv it was like bro that's your thing yeah what's the next step i tell you. It is one of the weirdest feelings when someone asks you to sign. It's only happened to me maybe four or five times where someone's like sign, you know, their cleavage or whatever. It's so weird feeling.

I don't know. It's really funny about that. The first time I did that, I wasn't even a comic. Really? Yeah. What were you? Pretty cool teen. That's when you were on the Harlem Globetrotters, right? Yeah. I was you pretty cool teen that's when you were on the harlem globetrotters right

yeah i was a pretty cool teenager do you remember when we had that girl when we took a picture and she asked me to choke her no the picture is somewhere it was like i've seen the picture yeah it was it was scary yeah odd it's a it's a weird one i don't know the whole it's like or we could just stand here and take a picture that sounds tight too yeah you know why i remember it because i shared a picture of it and this is years ago and janelle james was like she's trying to trap you brother also shout out to janelle fucking killing it killing it sarah in pittsburgh so lovely to see her she's great always love her watch abbott elementary trying to trap you brother people can't sign cleavage. I just want to keep that out there. That's still up for grabs.

You can sign my butt cleavage, but not my chest cleavage. Yeah. My chest cleavage, up for grabs. Ball cleavage, negotiable. Yeah. That's on the table. Yeah. And that's on the table.

I got lost. Where are we? My name's Ian Carmel, at Ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish james corden announcing his retirement app uh we had a good run if anybody out there needs just like a personal assistant or i'm gonna come over and do some just yard work or uh i'm willing to i'm going to come over and do some just yard work or, uh, I'm willing to, I'm willing to learn, hit up Malloy.

I'm fucking caked up still, dude. My future is looking bright. No. Uh, yeah, I don't, I'm not really doing any stand.

I'm doing stand up locally all over the place. So keep an eye on my Twitter and Instagram, but that's it. Are you doing it? No, continue. I, that's the whole tangent. I don't want that's it. Are you doing it? No, continue. That's the whole tangent. I don't want to go down.

Keep going. I'm fucking out here. So just come look for it. And we have an amazing topic here today. We are gathered here today to draft fruits. Yeah, patrons. Something I can't. The patrons picked it off Patreon?

Yeah. The patrons plucked it? Pucked it? Pucked it? Plucked it? Toy boat. Can you do that? Can anyone of you do that? Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat,

toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat. Wow. So, yeah. Yeah. Is the trick to say boat toy instead? Oh, boat toy, boat toy, boat toy, boat. No. I used to say toeyey but it got to end

up it ended up being toey instead of toys so it'd be like toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat i think the key is to disassociate a little bit and just let your brain go on autopilot you gotta you gotta take yourself out of the equation no toy boat toy boat toy no toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat see it's a thing because our my nephew was doing it the other day he's seven and i remember doing it when i was in like first grade or whatever and so what 30 years that's been people been doing toy boat toy boat i think toy boats been around says toy boats dude that's it does sound like a very like dust bowl depression type game yeah just two people sitting around sharing a sharing a bean yeah you could

play it in a boxcar it's christmas so you can dip your bean in the sugar bowl and then say toy boat all morning dip your bean in the sugar bowl that's what i call oral i never have to make one of those jokes again. I'm free. That's the best it's ever going to be. It's going to be no better. Dip your feet in the sugar bowl. Just a text.

Hey, you want to come dip your feet in the sugar bowl? That's a text that's only going to be responded to with water droplets it was my birthday so it was her birthday so you know dip the beat in the sugar bowl you'll get you'll get a way you'll get one of the wave emojis after that one oh man that's right for the record we're talking about oral male uh about oral done to a woman. To a woman. Yeah, yeah. Or, you know. Dudes, this isn't for you. If you got a small dick.

And a big sugar bowl. I saw Top Gun Maverick. Oh, you saw it? How was it? It's so good. I'm not even sure what i'm allowed to talk about that much i don't don't because i'm probably gonna see it tomorrow with my friend creasy it is i don't know why i had to say his name he's real for man on fire creasy bear uh he calls himself that is that a thing it's it's for man on fire oh i never got i never knew i call him crease man crease man oh yeah like a grease man yeah he's gonna i say crease man

crease man yeah that's me kill a crease yeah he's gonna like this yeah shout out to crease man shout out to top gun maverick everybody's good in it it's fucking great the script is atrocious just like you want it to be it's wonderful i can't i cannot wait i want it to be a terrible script you want to see it in as big and loud of a theater as possible i don't eat popcorn anymore i got myself some popcorn because i was like when am i gonna when am i gonna eat fucking popcorn if not today yeah i might try to see it in 4xd or 40x yeah dude see it in five fucking 60x, dude. Do they have that? Seven. Get the biggest X they got.

See it there. Eight. I'll probably go see it at like the Laurelhurst of beaten down second run theater with bad sound anyways. I'd recommend you don't do that. I'm not gonna. I do like that place though a lot. They made it through the pandemic. I'm thrilled about it. Shout out to them. Shout out to the Clinton Street Theater. Shout out to the Hollywood Theater. We're drafting fruit.

The patrons picked it. I can't believe we haven't drafted it yet. We did vegetables, and vegetables suck. Yeah. Sean, you like fruit? You like fruit? Of course I like fruit. Fruit doesn't suck. It tastes like candy.

Don't say that. Like, that's obvious here. There is no such thing, and I'm on record here, as a vegetable that I would rather have than any other kind of like good food. I would never pick a vegetable over a fruit

ever, ever. Never pick a vegetable over any kind of really any other kind of food. Vegetables are terrible. Fruit is amazing. Not even like a beautifully cooked

like Brussels sprout? Nope. I'm not picking it up. Name something you'd pick that over. You'd pick that over mashed potatoes or meatloaf or and I don't want to name You'd pick that over with mashed potatoes or meatloaf. I don't want to name the fruits.

Yeah, over mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes? They've been skating. They've been skating for a while. I'm not saying I don't not like mashed potatoes, but I think what we like is gravy and butter. All right? Right.

They're part of it. The vegetable to me is it's now i eat them because i know i should but i do not think they taste good it's like a nice scotch sure it tastes okay can i backtrack for a second i know i'm not meaning to come off anti-irish i know you've had a big year belfast came out that was great like i'm just saying mashed potatoes potatoes, I would probably rather have Brussels sprouts. Mashed potatoes was a weird thing to throw in there. Out of all the food I could have named, I picked mashed potatoes.

I didn't mean to do that. Yeah, it's tough with mashed potatoes because you can do more with, you ever had loaded mashed potatoes? Yeah, that's great. You can put a lot of shit in there. Yeah. I'm just saying I'm not picking a vegetable

over almost any other food because they suck. Fruit, I'll pick over tons of other stuff. To be quite honest, I don't give a fuck about your food opinion because I think it's trash. Vegetables are good. That's what I think. Vegetables are terrible. You're just going to get to come on here and say blanket statements.

We got to listen to that horse shit. Yeah. Tortilla mayonnaise or whatever you're doing. Vegetables are good. And I think that's i think that's pretty well established at this point that's what i say no vegetables are garbage we gotta listen to this dude he's over here drinking mustard with cream corn you don't listen to that i don't know i eat it with a spoon that's insane i that's insane you do your tastes are bad we've proven it drink a mustard blizzard you don't

eat mustard with corn wait you drink a mustard blizzard you eat mustard with corn with a spoon i'm sorry that's true that was would you have a mustard blizzard no what are you talking about let's say okay am i 20 if i'm 22 you like mustard ian i know you do i love mustard what if i put what do you like mustard on this is any number of things a nice deli sandwich okay let's say deli sandwich vegetables let me say i blend up a nice deli sandwich and mustard and make it into a blizzard with no ice cream it's just it's all the deli sandwich ingredients would you drink it no i like texture amen would i drink what if i threw some rice krispies in there

would i like i would drink it if it was like we're gonna kill this horse if you don't drink it i don't know how that's if somebody's standing there with like an axe and a horse and then that on a table and they're like i'm gonna fucking kill this horse if you don't drink this yeah i would have it if you're like how'd you get this horse i'd be like yeah that's a big table what kind of table is that what is the name how'd i get myself in this situation i'd ask is that a steel table with like wood molded over it how's it holding the horse i'd spend a lot of time afterwards sort of doing a post-op on it and figuring out how i got myself in a situation where that happened but I would never if at a restaurant

there was like you can either get brussel sprouts or a or a smoothie I'd get the brussel sprouts yeah out of it out of it I'd be interested in the smoothie you see what I'm saying we gotta listen to his opinions about it David it's an opinion that's why

you have to listen to it but you get to just be like all vegetables are trash no shut up i can't doing that to you your food opinions suck yeah but vegetables are cool can i i said it i said it just for a second you're wrong though nope nope nope i would i would bet any amount of money I'm not. Just hear me out. But I'm right. It's crazy that we now have to go draft a food. I feel like we should switch to board games or something. But we can't. We're in here.

We're in the arena. We're in the Coliseum. The way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the two of you. And we throw on shoot. rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the two of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Two papers.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Wait a minute. Pick it up. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. Sean Jordan wins. I wish that was a wipe that you could have. Yeah. Splits open. Remember those? sean jordan wins i wish that was a wipe that you could have yeah remember those we used to have those in tv media the toast the toaster was like the there was one of a naked woman pulling a shade not a real it was like a shadow naked woman pulling

a shade down and that's how you like switch media what do you mean we had a class where we could make uh movies and commercials and stuff it was called tv media oh yeah yeah yeah so but we had a class where we could make movies and commercials and stuff. It was called TV media. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we had a toaster, which was they would wipe from shot to shot like they used to do in like Batman or Get Smart, where it'd just be like wipe the screen and then it's a different shot. When was the last new wipe? Do you think they've done like a butthole wipe? Where like it just zooms out and then just a... The sugar bowl, dude. The sugar bowl wipe. the sugar bowl dude the sugar bowl the sugar bowl butthole

butthole funny when people don't say the t as much as like my butthole hurts butthole it's your butthole isn't it proper injured my butthole stop it gavin you're acting like a butthole it's mental down there

my butthole bro sean jordan as the winner of rock paper scissors it isn't coming upon you and you're acting like a butthole. It's mental down there, my butthole, bro. Sean Jordan, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors, it isn't coming upon you that it is a serpentine raft. Got him. And what is that? Great question.

If you're trying to pour an even amount of Kool-Aid for a bunch of kids and you set up like nine Dixie cups, you've been there. And you just start pouring. Then you go all the way to, you go left to right

and you get to the right. You pour a little bit too much in the right. So you go all the way to your left to right and you get to the right you pour a little bit too much in the right so you go all the way back to the left you think they're even and then you get down and you check and they're not so you a little bit more on the left all the way over to the right and then you know you get back just a little bit more on the right all the way to the left they're all even and then you realize kids shouldn't be drinking kool-aid and uh you know so it's like that Have you seen those little Dixies? No. They're just as reasonable as the big Dixies. Some people like little Dixies better. Yeah.

Well, if they're nice. No, Sean, have you seen, like, honestly, you have like a baby. Have you seen those little Dixies? No, I haven't seen the little Dixies. Well, little Dixie in your mouth. It's okay. Somebody. I don't know mouth it's okay somebody i don't know it's okay i don't know it's okay i don't know i don't know i'm sorry it's he's getting married no i understand i like it there's people overloaded i got hit with too many in the dms that now i can't think of a specific one because there was like 10 in there but there was there's a bunch out there there's

a bunch of i got shocker the other day yeah would you you hit him in the face when he was walking down the street i beat him to within an inch of his life with a two by four you just weren't what was the thing the kids were doing a couple years ago it was called like bricking where they would just walk up and hit somebody in the back of the head not with a brick what don't you remember that this is your i feel like this is your algorithm again it was like an east coast thing david google raiders football loss stands no it was like this thing where kids yeah the knockout game where kids would just run up and like hit somebody i mean it was insane that shit was internet propaganda i don't know i felt like that too i feel like that's like local new like the local news is sliding some kid

who's on like on hard luck okay so it just happened and then the news is like and kids are bricking adults i feel like they're like hey kid here's 200 go punch some old guy in the back of the head so we can like get six months out of this yeah like i think that different old guys were getting punched i don't know if it was like a kid i don't know it just felt real it felt really like one of those things where it's like okay i don't yeah i was watching ozark last night would you take a pretty pretty bad ass kicking and a swirly for two million dollars over a ruben smoothie yes yeah over a ruben smoothie in general just if someone's like i'm gonna really kick your ass like pretty bad and then give you a swirly for for how much two million bucks yeah of course also if you see me out in

the world i don't go by ruben smoothie anymore i just want to clear that out of the way you go by smooth ruben dude i ran i ran into some copyright issues so please don't refer to me it's like a stephan arkell situation i was smoothie ruben ruben smoothie now i'm smooth oh yeah no smooth ruben's coming to the party not ruben smoothie it's a whole different i'm rebranding uh but yeah i would for two million dollars absolutely take a beat for free yeah i have to not like that though i'm talking like a hospital or like a few days hospital but not nothing's broken but probably hospital but the bills are covered so no medical how many dudes did it one but like you you didn't fight back you like really got your ass like bad i did oh one easy as long as i'm not getting stomped out yeah yeah for sure yeah okay is there doo-doo

in the toilet i'd still do it for two because then you could get like an infection it's just a swirly and a used toilet but not currently with with stuff in it. But it's definitely not clean. I'd eat Thanksgiving dinner out of a toilet for $2 million. That's a lot of money. Not a lot I wouldn't do for two mil. I mean, if we're really. Anal? Well, probably both. Yeah.

Yes. Would you dip your bean in the sugar bowl? Or I'd be the sugar bowl or the bean for $2 million. Would you dip your sugar in the bean bowl is the question. Well, you can't. You need surgery to do that. Would you tell us what the order of today's draft is going to be?

Yeah, I would. Me, David, you. Fuck you, dude. Alright. Hot corner, then. Yeah. Hot corner. I should have gotten involved in the rock-paper-scissors. I have a lot of hard fruit opinions. I don't know what I was doing. You could have. You want to redo it? No. I made my bed. I'm going to sleep in the rock paper scissors. I have a lot of hard fruit opinions. I don't know what I was doing. You could have. You want to redo it?

No, no, no. I made my bed. I'm going to sleep in it, dude. I made my bed. I'm going to jump on it, bro. Yeah, I was going to say, don't go to sleep right away if you made it. I'll probably sell that to like Michaels or something. Put on some driftwood.

You made your bed. Now jump on it. I love a burnt driftwood inspirational quote. Yeah. When life gives you lemons, make us some lemon bars, bro. Yeah. And then the lemon bar recipe on the back.

Mm-hmm. Powder sugar. Drench those things in powder sugar. Sean Jordan, you have the first pick in The Fruit. All fantasy, everything fantasy draft as selected by you, our Patreon members. We're going to get to that first pick right after this short break.

This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. Might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God,

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podcast that has ever existed this is it excuse me i burped this is it if anybody heard that burp it was me i burped yeah and you were farting in the fucking studio too no i farted i farted when we went on instagram live and i admitted about a year later you remember that that's true yeah i remember that i did admit acting like but acting like i didn't let it be blamed on you i said there was no fart and then a year later it popped in my mind i was like it was me i'm just saying just this is not for you specifically sean this is for everyone out there if you have some heavyset friends and you're hanging out with them and somebody farts, it probably wasn't

your heavyset friend. It wasn't us. It was probably Sean. It was probably Sean. Fucking walked by. Don't blame it on your fat friend either. I don't blame it on anyone ever. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about in general. Don't blame it on your fat friend either. I don't blame it on anyone ever. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about in general.

Don't blame it on your fat friend because society already thinks we farted. You fart around Dana? No. I don't fart around Dana either. No, I don't. I won't. I don't do it. Sounds like you fart around everybody.

No, I go. I leave the room. I still, I don't. I'm never going to be one of those people that's like, yeah, let it ride. Did you leave the room in the studio? I never farted in there. I think that was you. Wasn't it?

No. So I'm going to go. John, join your first fruit pick. It's a pretty clear front runner to me. It's my favorite. It's the closest to candy to me out of the fruits, which they're all pretty much candy, but I'm going to pick strawberries.

I love a strawberry. That's the strawberry there's i mean there's not there's no getting around it for me they're always good strawberries make me like things i guess that i wouldn't normally like probably i don't know they're just always good they always help they're easy they're so easy when you get them right on time, they don't really need anything else. A hood strawberry, dude, if you want something, I like my strawberry from the burbs.

I like that. Give me a boujee strawberry. It's the hood strawberries. They taste like they, it's like actual candy. They melt in your mouth. Almost. It's,

it's shocking. Yeah. If you're ever in the Pacific Northwest and you can get your hands on a hood strawberry, go ahead and do that. They're so good. Yeah. I mean, it's just insane. But yeah, strawberries. I-A-N-K-A-R-M-E-L.

That's how you spell it. I- I- Fuck you. I had some garden boxes put in my backyard. I'm growing strawberries and I've done my first harvest and a strawberry right off the vine. When it's like peak ripe, get out of town and take all your stuff with you. It's so good.

It's so delicious. I will say a bad strawberry. Well, bad. Most of these are unripe. No, there's some of these have a low. Like, I think a bad strawberry has a high's some some of these have a low like i think a bad strawberry has a high ceiling but it can have a low floor too i there's a couple fruit that i took off of that because of that i'm not eating bad fruit these days i got i got

good fruit money i bet you've had a bad strawberry not recently man not recently we because max is starting to eat fruit that's like something we can like give her fruit because it's it's easy to chew so we're like we're pretty heavy and good fruit right now all the time like we're pretty well stocked with like good fresh fruit which i've never been able to say before i'd have a kid before before that but no i can't really do you get scurvy from not eating fruit is that what happens it seems like she would keep good fruit around though yeah but you know i don't like to be told exactly what to do until i had a kid so scurvy is from a lack of vitamin c yeah okay yeah your teeth fall out yeah bummer it's crazy i think i had a buddy who said he had scurvy and like in this day and age and i just i'm like how i don't know how that happens you gotta you gotta want it in this day and age yeah you gotta think it's cool yeah you

gotta like yeah it's not it's like it's like playing in the nba you can't like accident yourself when you know that's where the best athletes are yeah i just started dripping here i am in the nba 10 years later no idea how i got here you gotta want scurvy you gotta like put that on the vision board you gotta get up early and not eat fruit yeah man strawberries there i'd you know we used to put them we used to make them not healthy or are they healthy are our fruits like healthy healthy or they just like kind of good sugar like you maybe not a ton of yeah but that's that's like for the. Because my mom used to put sugar on the strawberries, and that was then they're bad for you, I'm sure. But they're great.

They are quite sugary. Yeah, they sure are. And it depends from fruit to fruit. There are certain ones, I won't mention any names, that have more fiber in them, so your body burns the sugar slower. Sure. So it doesn't give you quite as big of an insulin hit.

Yeah, those are the fruits at the bottom of my list, my friend. I don't think they are. You'd be surprised to find out. Strawberry has a decent amount of fiber in it. Although it's still pretty high on the glycemic index, I believe. Well, and there it is at the very tip top of my list. So color me surprised, my friend. But they do have those little seeds in them.

Dude, you eat enough of those, you get high strawberries was that a rumor no okay david borre time for your first pick uh man i'm just taking this one as like for all of humanity it's done a lot they're delicious to eat we love wine a lot of flavor things that are flavor this i'm taking grapes first yeah dude grapes i white grapes in the fridge oh frozen grapes oh grape juice like i said wine it's just like it's all over we really we've really leaned hard on grapes through in this lifetime they've given us so much they've really given us a lot yeah you know what i do with grapes now is when we get them on the in the bags or whatever i take all the grapes off and i put them in a tupperware thing immediately and put in the fridge so it's like if i want grapes i just go get a handful of grapes without

having to deal with like plucking them off the thing i just do it all immediately plucking them off the thing too it's such a great snack yeah it's such a great snack just have some grapes pretty much always good they stay good for a long time like grapes rarely go bad in my fridge because you always end up eating them totally i just i think it's like a it's a utility player you know what i mean how many grapes you think you you eat in a set like if you're like i'm gonna if you go grab some grapes what do you think you get like 20 25 i mean it really depends dude yeah am i watching like a long movie or like a basketball game or something basketball game oh man i might i might rip 40 grapes yeah you know it's funny when you have a kid they turn into little fucking grenades you can't have like you have to be worried about

them falling anywhere on the floor because that's the perfect size. Brother, I just threw a grape at Danny Maupin like three weeks ago. Yeah, see, Max can't come crawl on your floor. Shout out to Danny Maupin. I picked it up. I'm not a fucking animal. That's what I'm saying, though. Sometimes you forget, you lose it in the carpet or whatever, and then the baby picks it up, puts it in their mouth, and it's the perfect size for the baby to not be able to handle, so they choke.

Oh, that's terrifying. They choke on it. Yeah, yeah. perfect size for the baby to not be able to handle so they choke oh yeah yeah their grapes are like the i think like the example they give you in the hospital where they're like you know anything like the size of a grape you're like okay so just don't be pretty pretty satisfying to clear it though you know what i mean you could probably see it like a snake eating a rat i bet it would just be going down and oh you mean like to pop it out yeah yeah yeah I mean it's the perfect size to pop out of your mouth you ever like

with a grape that'd be a fun way to like just keep people on their toes as you go up to meet someone and they put their hand out to shake and you just spit a grape in their face you know what you can do if you put it's all going to sound dirty but if you put the whole side on your tongue and then put the other part

in between your teeth like that and keep your tongue in the hole and then clench your teeth a little bit it'll squirt out so you can squirt people with it it's a good way to get slapped but you can do it that's it gross yeah the whole side on your tongue I thought would be the gross part

when you put the sugar bowl on your tongue it started gross it stayed gross i forgot about wine i don't really i don't really like wine but that's a good that's a good thing to have in your in your list raisins i mean pretty much any way you slice it dude dude you don't like raisins no david do you like raisins i'm okay with them i liked them more as a kid i prefer grapes but what's not to like it's just a little hard for for grapes yeah i don't like i don't know i i don't know what happened either just i just at one point i cannot stand raisins now i used to

not mind them i like a chocolate covered raisin probably chocolate you know you think you think you know a guy yeah is it because they're icky yeah they're gross looking man you've never met my mom have you no i can't wait her hair's gonna be freshly purple so stoked that makes two of us yeah laura's mom's got purple hair right now too it's buck does she yep what is that like a is that like a what old ladies are doing now yeah am i out of the loop i hey man i don't know why not i don't see any reason not to what do you what do you play jazz you know yeah i don't give a shit i old people seem to be really upset by crazy colored hair but i don't know but these are but maybe these are like this new breed of old people

who are younger when people first got upset as we're getting into middle age it's a new generation of people it's we got new old people we got new i'm middle-aged right 40 is middle-aged oh yeah you're firmly middle-aged definitely yeah i feel great though i tell you i think i broke my finger yesterday but other than that i feel great i was skating but that's what middle-aged people say dude yeah and they're like you didn't break your finger some 20 year old snot nose punk coming at me like I didn't break my finger. I was breaking fingers before you were born, you little shithead. And then I get a little too upset.

Do you think we might hear I'm in the best shape of my life from you at some point soon? You know, like before Max, I remember telling my friends like, dude, I'm better at skating now than I ever was when I was a kid. And it's like, or not, but you're okay. I'm in the best shape of my life. During COVID, I might have been in the best shape of my life. It was the first time since I was 18 where I can remember where it's like not drinking for more than a week at a time. Like, that's pretty buck to say, but yeah.

Anyway, that's not what I'm talking about. You don't drink that much now, right? No, I've definitely slipped back. I've been doing a lot of stand-up like a lot a lot and um it's it's easier to slip back in to having a couple after the show when you know because it's like every night and um so yeah i'm kind of i'm dabbling a little more get yourself one of these cherry blossom lacroix's instead dude dude. It's delicious. I don't like LaCroix. Although I do remember when you were getting your fruit boxes put in, you went out. And what did you say? You came back in.

You're like, the only thing I have to say to that man is, can I offer you some more LaCroix? Yeah. That's it. And I couldn't. Time for my first pick. It's, I mean, those who know me will be, this will come as no surprise. I'm going to take apples, the king of the fruit. You've been really, really caping for apples lately in the last couple weeks.

The best of fruits. I was recently sent 200 Envy apples by the good people at Envy apples. They sent you 200 apples? Yeah. That feels like a lot of pressure. It's a lot of pressure. On the one hand, I appreciate the gift. I'll take any free stuff i can get my hands on shout out to uh hi tai chi tay what tea chai tay in portland oregon who sent a bunch of free tea all of it delicious all of it much

appreciated shout out to them really tasty really love so good yeah i bought some more from them and then they also gave me like a sample of some strawberry white tea oh and now it's like now that sample is my new favorite tea that's so good does this have caffeine that sounds perfect and it smells so good i'm obsessed with it um but i'm not taking tea i'm taking apples i fucking love apples i love i love apple juice i love apple sauce i love apple cider sean jordan i don't preach to the choir on this one damn i forgot about apples applesauce yeah applesauce but just an apple itself it's hard it's not gonna get bruised in your backpack it's its own container all you need to do is grab an apple and walk out the door i eat the whole thing bully

you can huck it at a bully you can huck it if you if you're a bully you can huck it at a nerd you can eat it sexy like brad pitt and all those movies yeah you can eat it sexy you can eat it sloppy you can stuff in the mouth of a pig if you want to have that pig for dinner there's a lot of stuff you can do with an apple you can't like my friday night that's right my buddy baron eats him eats him from the top down and he eats the whole thing, top down. Wait, what? That's not... I can't condone that. He eats them from the top down, whole thing.

I hate that. What about the stick on the top? Whole thing. He eats the stick? I hate that. He might twist the stick off. The core is... Okay.

It's like the core is just a big, thicker stick. You do not eat the core. No, it's not. The core is the apple. I eat the core. The core is different than the stick. So you twist off the little stick, and then you eat the entire rest of the apple. There's nothing left when you eat an apple. That's right. You eat the core. The core is different than the stick. So you twist off the little stick and then you eat the entire rest of the apple. There's nothing left when you eat an apple.

You eat the whole entire thing. That's also wild, man. That's crazy to me. I'm in it. I've never even thought about eating that middle part, the core. It's chewy. I've gotten pretty in, but once I get to the seeds, then I start being like, I can't. I thought it was like chewing on a tree.

I really thought the core was like a tree branch almost. No way. No, it's easy. It relents. It's just more apple. I'll try it after this second show. I'll try to eat a whole apple. You're not going to like it.

It doesn't taste like a vegetable, does it? No. It's no Reuben smoothie. Does it happen to taste like a mustard shake? Because I don't like it a lot, I ruben smoothie no does it happen it tastes like must a mustard shake because i don't like it a lot i think maybe you will maybe it will maybe it will and maybe you will david why are you making like a smiley face and you're like you're hungry you're rubbing your belly when i said mustard shake that was crazy i've never done that when you said mustard chicken you're going i never i don't like it you wrote yum and spray paint on your wall behind you yum yum yum

mmm yummy I can't wait give me like a bassy yummy yummy yum I don't think he's gonna do it alright fine mustard shake mustard shake mustard shake mustard

time for my second pick I might be going early on this I feel like those are the big three I don't know I think there's some majors major players on the board still there are I'm playing

this may come back to haunt me but i'm playing strategy instead of playing instead of playing uh i'm playing head instead of heart on this one i'm playing even though this is still very much in my heart but i'm just saying i'm playing head instead of heart i'm taking oranges yeah okay yeah yeah yeah i love an orange they go you know orange juice definitely comes into play orange is a little tricky to eat that's that's where we're you don't like eating them i like peeling peeling an orange it's just it's you know it's like more effort than some other stuff but i love it when you get like the perfectly juicy slices you know i love you eat them one at a time like it's like it goes go back it goes back

to the grape thing like i like to eat a bunch of them as opposed to one. Like I'm glad you don't just like bite into an orange. It's always one fruit snack. Each slice is one bite, right? You guys don't like half bite, half a slice and then take the other half. No, slice per bite.

The whole thing, right? Yeah. Even if I get like one of those big ass oranges. It all goes in. Oh, then I might go too, you know? I had a big ass, just like honking ass navel orange earlier yeah that's fun just a big ass honking navel orange honk it's just where it's

just it's a feat of masculinity to eat you know it's and i i loved it it's fun i also do it down on muscle beach i did on muscle beach yeah i was doing i was doing uh these ones what are those called dips dude i was doing dips while. What are those called? Dips, dude. I was doing dips while another buff dude fed me oranges. Yeah. With like low cut tank tops on real low. Low down there. Low, dude.

Yeah. High shorts, low tank. Low tank. Low T. High T. Low T. High T, low tank. Go down there and tell one of them they got

low t see what happens you know what all the tough guys are doing they're taking t they're probably taking t dude i think so i got low t but i'm not a tough guy so i just keep it low hey low enough to make a baby you know what i mean that's all yeah with the help of modern medicine we did go through ivf so but yeah yeah okay yeah i like to shout it out whenever possible it's a miracle yeah you have to yeah uh oranges i fucking love an orange i just i don't know i i don't know what else to say man i just find them so refreshing i i think i say one weird thing yeah in in in previous in recent years is it gonna be about oranges i don't know if i love orange juice like i used to it's a lot well do you think okay do you think it's i don't like pulp and that's why i always

get pulpless but do you think it may be because and i don't pardon me if i'm line stepping here but have you mixed it with alcohol enough in your life to where it kind of reminds you of that and that's maybe less refreshing than it would be. Because that's my problem. No, not like, because I do have things like that. Like Coca-Cola, just regular Coca-Cola is kind of like, I always taste a little bit of booze. Orange juice is not that. No. It's like, I just don't like the flavor of it.

Maybe as much as I used to. Here's the thing about orange juice, in my opinion. It's an onslaught. It's a lot of sugar. It's a lot of sugar it's a lot of flavor it's like it's it's it's the sweetest thing you're gonna i think we i think you become more sensitive to sugar as you get older and i think it's too much sugar it's an onslaught an onslaught i like it of sugar it's on it's on yeah because it's like something about it i just i just stopped being

like i used to like love it now when i get it i'm like like the other day we went to breakfast and everybody called me as oh no that's another fruit juice never mind yeah never mind i got nothing to say as soon as it's as soon as it's picked then make sure you tell everybody what you were called i think it's probably not gonna get picked to be completely honest okay well then i'm gonna take a few guesses after we're done well let's play let's play it safe let's play it safe uh oranges is my uh second pick david time for your second pick second pick i want to preface this by saying this is the most delicious fruit that i've had but this is also the fruit that i've had like i've bought in

anticipation of it being great and it's gone bad for me the most times. Yeah. Oh, maybe. Okay. I'm picking, and I know it's high, but like, cause when it's good, it's, it is the best fruit to me. I'm picking mango. Oh, okay.

Sure. Okay. What's bad? What goes bad about a mango? I've never, I don't really mess with them that much. It's just like when I had them, cause as a kid I'd have them here and I wasn't really mess with them that much. It's just like when I had them, because as a kid, I'd have them here and I wasn't anything. And then when I had them in Africa and I came back and would have them here, it would never be. Like, I mean, in Africa, you kind of just like pull open the top and it's like a juice box.

Wow. It's insane. It's insane. Same thing with South Dakota. But yeah, like the rest of the country. The flavor is so good. It's really vibrant. Like, it's just like amazing.

And, you know, you buy shopping bags full of them for like 50 Leons or some shit. But I've had it a lot of times where it's like not ripe. It's like hard. Yeah. And the flavor is still there, but it's not like it's supposed to be a juicy, juicy fruit. So it's not like a rotten mango. It's just a lesser mango. It's just not.

It's just I've never had it as good as I've had it in Africa in africa some of those grocery store ones it's like this is never gonna get ripe it's just never gonna ripen the way i want it's gonna go from hard to bad i think we're just not in the tropics yeah yeah but also also if we're talking artificial flavor mango is good and everything yeah i mean it's good and everything goes always a great flavor mango is good in everything yeah mango is good in everything mango is always a great flavor mango haichu get off me yeah oh my god that shit's amazing it's crazy how good it is that's what made me realize that i because a fruit like a mango seemed way too adventurous for a young me and then they started putting the flavoring into gummies and i was like i bet i like mangoes and then i do yeah because it. Because it is amazing. It's amazing. It hurts my mouth for some reason when I eat a mango.

Interesting. Like I have like a miniature allergic reaction to it or something. Do you still eat it? Because that means it's really good. Yeah. Nah, I don't. I'm not a mango man. Have you had it when you went to Hawaii?

Yes. That's when you, that like, if I'm in a tropical, if I'm in a tropical setting, I'll eat fucking mango. I'll eat some other fruits that maybe I don't much like that much. I would too. I'm not a big... Put me on a beach. I'm not a big... Oh, go ahead. I got it. I thought you were going to say

not a big Joe Montana fan and I was going to agree. No, I love the work of Joe Montana. Maybe I'm not that big of a tropical fruit guy but that will play out over the rest of the draft that's totally fine yeah i do remember when i first learned how to cut a mango and i was very excited by that you gotta hit it twice with a toothbrush and then hand it to a guy walking the other way you gotta make sure it's bleeding like properly before you walk away otherwise you might have hit it a third time no but you do that little grid and then you pop it out and there's a little mango city see that's when it's not that's when it's not juicy it's like an ice cube tray of

right like when it's juicy i'm telling you it's like you hit it like a juice box that was the beaverton oregon experience of eating a mango that's the difference right right where you go to hy-vee and you just yeah you're like okay that's what a mango looks like like i said i never i never used to like them before i went to africa either my mom would get them as a kid i'd be like no no no no no no not for me i will be passing on this freak fruit you got in here mom the south dakota experience is going to a hy-vee and getting a capri sun that's having a mango mango and then you know they say a lot of hateful things to you and then you get a capri sun on your way out that's right mango those are for exits uh-huh like your ex-wife and things oh yeah yeah okay uh sean tougher your second and your third picks my second i've recently taken to

cutting these up on my own which is so fun and rewarding you feel like you almost prepared a meal and i love them anyways but they're they're probably as far as just like sheer taste my top fruit and but it's fun to now that i know how to cut an r&b group called sheer taste yeah sheer taste they also cut hair first album's called wet silk second album was called wetter silk third album was wettest silk but since then we've had about 15 studio albums they're all just named after different places different cities boston silk silk massachusetts louisiana silk is just like wool yeah boston silk silk massachusetts louisiana silk is just like wool yeah boston silk is itchy itchy wool some creased polyester uh pineapple yeah polyester police uniform pants oh yeah pineapple oh yeah so i we wanted wanted pineapple but like if you get it prepared it's so expensive, nothing crazy

but you can get a pineapple for like five bucks or you can get chunked up already cut pineapple for about five bucks but that's about a fourth of what you would get if you bought a pineapple and did it yourself. So when you cut it up, there's actually a method, like a way that you have to do it to yield the most

pineapple but when you do it, it's very fun because you feel like you're you know you feel like you're actually preparing your fruit a little bit like you're taking a deer apart yeah like i'm just a quarter gutting this pineapple but you get a pineapple and it's so fun because it looks obviously the outside of a pineapple isn't you can't eat that doesn't look good but you know what's inviting i'd say yeah you would never think that's what's inside yeah pine cone and then you cut it up i'd say yeah you would never think that's what's inside yeah pine cone and then you cut it up and you're like i would never think that's what's inside all right and uh and it's great and then i you know and then i just eat i could eat pineapple

i could eat pineapple till i'm full it's one of the only fruits i could just honestly eat i could probably eat a whole pineapple just sitting there it's amazing now when you when you taste your jizz have you noticed the difference no no mine always tastes like hot sauce man always has okay oh god fair enough yeah no i tasted it one time but yeah pineapple you have to taste it one time yeah it's rude not i guess this is growing up i did it pretty early on though i think i did it earlier than most and uh my friends were still at the point where they're like making fun of me and i'm like you guys are you it's just fair i feel like you probably had sex before you ever tasted your jizz which is crazy to me crazy i did i don't want to tell you how to live your life i don't want to

tell you how to live your life but just for science sake and sorry to get blue here on the all fantasy everything podcast you have to taste it once before the vasectomy and then once after to see. Oh, I haven't tasted it in years. It's been a long time. You gotta get in there. You gotta taste it once before, you gotta taste it once after, and then you gotta do a blind. I'm out here acting like Superman. I've only tasted it one time in my life.

Take the fucking Pepsipsi challenge yeah should i tell the doc like all right so when do we get the stuff that i'm gonna taste before do i just what do i just ask them hey i want to bottle up some of my old school shit yeah can i prepare like i want to prepare a vintage to put out in three years they told me it's going to be like $1,000 a month to save some. So can you just pull some out? I'm just going to put it in the fridge when I get home. Is that what it costs to keep your jizz on ice? No, I was ballpark. I know what it costs to keep an embryo on the rocks.

And so if I had to guess, I'd be like, yeah, about that. That's a lot. But anyway, pineapple, man. Love it. Love it to pieces. It's fantastic. It also hurts my mouth. Go ahead. Third pick. I've come around to this because Max, this is one of her main foods and I just kind of

eat when she's eating. And also if it's something I can eat, we just share. But raspberries. I love a raspberry. Yeah, I love a raspberry. Used to think they were too tart because I think, if I'm being honest, I wasn't gauging it off of actual raspberries i was gauging it off of like raspberry juice or something i just or like raspberry flavoring and stuff yeah they always put like blue sour yeah and i was like i don't really like raspberry but now that i'm eating fresh raspberries love them love them love them love them so easy uh they're great and i don't know they don't really go i maybe i just don't let them go bad but they just seem like they're always good takes up takes a rat you gotta really fuck it up to get a bad raspberry they'll go bad they kind of macerate themselves and get really soft and

disintegrate what does macerate mean macerate is like when the sugars and something break down the proteins maybe i that science might not be right but it's when like it like it's really soft and like it it smoothies itself but also spoils a little bit okay yeah yeah well they i guess raspberries also too they don't ever am i trying to pronounce the p too much i just busted myself because i wasn't thinking about it. And I was like, no, you just said rasp-a-berry. Nobody says it like that, you dork. But when I get my hands on a little package of rasp-a-berries, it's like they get eaten so quick.

And they don't come in huge amounts. No, you can't. You can't get a ton of them. Is a rasp-a-berry a plant? Like a rasp-a-berry like a bush? I think a rasp-a-berry is a bush, yeah. Vine a rasp of a berry, it's a plant. Like a rasp of a berry, like a bush? I think a rasp of a berry is a bush, yeah. Vine, is it a rasp of a berry vine? Aren't all berries bush?

I think especially rasp of a berries have grown. Well, if you heard that song, I've heard it through the rasp of a berry vine, right? No, that's a grapevine. That was the sequel to the rasp of a berry vine. Rasp of a berry vine wasn't getting a lot of airplay because of the hard to say title so they they were like let's do grapevine instead and payola yeah yeah i like

a rasp of very man they're real they're real dank they're um barry gordy was allergic to rasp of a berry so that song never took off well his name was originally rasp of a berry glory he hated it. Yeah, love a good Raspa Barry, man. I love Raspa.

I have some in the fridge right now. You might see me eating them later. I don't know. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Well, that's your third pick.

We're going to get to David's third pick right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country, you figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right? You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two Damon movies.

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Welcome back to all fancy. Everything. A podcast already in progress. We're drafting fruit and Sean has just taken raspberries. Yummy. Raspberry berries. And I went and got a raspberry. I'm going to eat it on Mike.

How long do you think it would take Danaana if you just started eating them like that you're like let's watch a movie and then he just started eating them like that would it be like half of one where she's like hey stop pretty quick yeah i think it'll be pretty quick uh time for your time for your third pick now i'm eating another fruit yeah i'm over it. Well, we've been together longer than Dana and I have been together. No. Third pick.

Oh, watermelon. Yeah. See, I don't like watermelon. What? Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, once again, that's why I'm not listening to your opinions anymore. Yeah, I wish, man. I'm telling you, it's one of those foods that took a long time to admit to people that I don't like it. Yeah, once again, that's why I'm not listening to your opinions anymore. Yeah, I wish, man. I'm telling you, it's one of those foods that took a long time to admit to people that I didn't like. I used to fake like I enjoyed watermelon for years.

Probably until I was 30. How? What? How? How? I don't get it. I don't like it. I don't know.

Have you maybe never had a good one? I wonder. I don't know. I mean. It's a little too messy for me. So I'm not thrilled about that. it i don't like it i don't know have you maybe never had a good one i wonder i wonder i mean it's a little too messy for me so i don't i'm not thrilled about that it is too much water for not enough flavor it's refreshing you know it doesn't bother me to eat watermelon i'm just not going to go out of my way i guess like i don't like sushi i just the watermelon's not like that i just i kind of i just i don't like it when peoplemelon's not like that. I just, I kind of, I just,

I don't like it when people say I nothing something, but I kind of nothing watermelon, you know? Okay. It's not that it's gross to me. It's not, I can eat watermelon and I'm like, yeah, this is fine. You don't dislike watermelon, you just don't like watermelon.

Yeah, I just don't like it. Yeah. Which still seems crazy to me, but less crazy. Actually, you not liking watermelon would seem crazier than just not having an opinion on it. Although I guess it is mostly water. It tastes like water. But that flavor, when you get a good one.

I don't know. When you get a good one. It's kind of the only melon I fuck with. Something about like the other varieties of melon sort of hurt my stomach. Yeah. I don't know how to explain it. There's like a level of. Were you just a Carnegie melon?

I thought you'd fuck with them a little bit, right? right yeah but that's because they paid me a lot of money yeah watermelon i don't know i but uh i get it i get the refreshing aspect of it now if we're talking jolly ranchers watermelon all day i will say i will say it's really easy to get not good ones yeah you know what i mean yeah like if you if you take my whole career i probably had a lot more bad watermelons and good ones you know if one like there's a lot of mediocre there's a lot of mediocre watermelon out there a bad one when it tastes like kind of electric yeah you know what i mean when it's like it's like going bad like a battery watermelon yeah and you're like what's that what yeah god can make fruit that tastes like this

what's going on why does it taste why does it taste like a like an electrical fire i don't know though i fuck it yeah watermelon is real good like on a summer day or spring day or spring day dude yeah you know refreshing again but like i don't know i never early fall day yeah and you know yeah i feel bad i didn't mean to come at it so negative. It was your right away, right when you said it. And I was like, I was like,

I don't like it, but that was, you know, it was a bad way to do it. I'm sorry. Like I said, it doesn't matter. I'm disregarding your food opinions.

Yeah. You ever dip your watermelon in mustard? It helps. Exactly. Come on. Exactly. People might be driving while they listen to this like a ramekin now they're gonna pull over and get a mustard watermelon crash their car some people do put like that

tagine on it that tagine season i've done that i've grilled it did you see that video of uh you wait you've grilled it oh that's interesting i've grilled it on the charcoal grill yeah i've done what does that do to watermelon? It's pretty good. If you like watermelon, you'll like it. It's pretty good. Did you see that video of Rihanna dipping a mango in the ocean? Man, she's dope. Is that some kind of Barbadian pregnant food? I don't know.

She dipped a mango in the ocean and ate it and then the city of Houston had to put out a thing to its residents. Don't dip your mangoes in the Gulf of houston had to put out a thing like to its residents don't don't dip your mangoes in like the gulf of mexico or something like that because the water's not clean wait what something like that yeah because she was like in barbados or something and she dipped her like right mango in the ocean and ate it because it's salty so i guess in barbados water not gulf of

mexico water no and then other places had to be like hey don't do that here except i'm watching this clip also asap rocky wearing a nautica jacket in the ocean which is really was my which was always my oh look at that damn well rihanna you gave me a new thing to do yep i'm just gonna say it she's the hottest pregnant lady i've ever seen ever it's insane pretty wild and she's like super she's like got a big belly she's so pregnant she's got a knife all right anyways i gotta stop watching yeah you got a knife watermelon excellent pick uh time for my third and my fourth picks as it is I gotta stop watching this. Watermelon. Excellent pick. Time for my third and my fourth picks, as it is.

A serpentine draft. It's still on the board. It's what I was gonna take with my heart last time, but it's still here. The strategy worked out. I'm taking blackberries. Oh, fuck, yeah. Sure.

It's my favorite berry if it works out. Yeah. This is a high floor, low ceiling fruit. Yeah, they'll go bad on you quick, and you'll get them bad easily. Yeah. Quick. Yeah. I've gotten some, because that's another one we're doing a lot of right now, and sometimes I get them home.

This is rock hard. I don't know. It's just not there yet, and then it goes bad. And then it goes bad. Oh, yeah. Blackberries are on their timeline. They're not on your timeline. They're good.

They're a house cat. Oh my God, they're good. Oh my God. When they work out, it's like, what am I biting? What am I nibbling on God's earlobe right now? This is delicious. They're so much more substantial than a rasp of a berry. They're big, which is fun.

It's like an actual bite. Also like in the Northwest, you can go picking them. Yeah. I love it. you can you can get like a big like almost golf ball size one if you do it right that's fun they are fun little party i fucking love a blackberry i think they're they're fun to bite the weird lobes are interesting just the way they're constituted uh-huh it's fun blackberry preserves are good but outside of that i don't really know what you can do with them.

I've never seen blackberry juice. No, like ice cream. Oh, syrup. I've had blackberry syrup, yeah. Probably pie, I'm sure. I feel like all these can go into pies. Yeah, that's true. Or muffins.

I just love a fucking blackberry. When you get the right one, it's like... I remember when I was losing all the weight blackberries are like one of the fruits that like they give you and i was just like i just had the i just had the worst salad just like cold wet lettuce and like a chicken that had died in the 80s and like just like the all tomatoes that had like never been ripe i just like they were just like someone plucked them out of a hobo's dream ass tomatoes like just terrible and then i opened these blackberries and they were so good that i almost started crying they

were just like the right where i'm like these taste like candy right candy couldn't be better than this yeah i fucking love blackberries they're amazing yep i'm with you that's my third pick my fourth pick i'm eating one right now i'm taking cherries oh yeah that was on my list we're hitting cherry season when they're right when they're like when they're going good i i picked it mostly because i love them and then half because i brought this cherry that i i just poured it in the bowl i didn't see it it looks like a butt it looks like a perfect butt like ripped off of barbie most sexual fruit which i still don't extremely fully understand yeah why is fruit so sexy like you remember when you would be a kid like in junior high school and there'd be a girl with the cherries on her shirt you'd be like i can't stand up just yet sir she has cherries on her shirt yeah why did you

why did cherries become so i don't know what it's even supposed to stand for it's because you're like popping popping a cherry i don't even understand that me either yeah because of the blood yeah yeah yeah because of the hind but you can't but like you can't actually pop like no cherries don't pop i feel like kids really ran away with that term and where you're like it doesn't actually make sense it only makes sense because they're both red they're other than that it doesn't make any sense but kids are like it's a real easy thing to say to make you sound like you know anything about sex when you don't but is that why is that how cherries became so sexy? Was just because of popping cherries?

I feel like there's more to it. Maybe. Is it because they look like butts or boobs or balls sometimes? Because I feel like there's always like wet cherries. That's true. Balls are the least. If there was a fruit that looked like a nut sack, nobody would be,

there's nothing sexy about it. How did they become such a big staple in gambling? That's another, why is it like triple cherries on a slot machine? I don't know. Those ones look the most like that. Yeah. Strawberry, too.

Jesus. Is it a medley? I'm going to remind me of bars. Maraschino. Is it? What are the bar cherries? Are those the maraschino cherries? My mom used to work at a bar and when I had to go in and like chill when she was working,

I would just eat those. So I have a weird association with i don't know adults being hammered oh yeah i always feel like the seed to fruit ratio is a little higher than i'd like it to be it sure is you definitely like you need to it's like a lot uh you need to make it your business to eat a cherry if you're gonna eat a cherry you need to sit down you know what i mean you're gonna you're gonna be you got you need two bowls right it's like eating pistachios yeah yeah exactly exactly like it's like sunflower seeds with less of a payoff i find it to be more of a payoff man sunflower seeds i used to really fuck with sunflower seeds like really really who didn't who didn't the company was like a very it was okay

i've yeah i never really knew any food that you can do this and then and then shake some more i just always used to like having tons of cuts on the inside of my left cheek and so i'd be like sunflower and then a bunch of salt in there to dry it all out so it cuts easier it's perfect make sure you update our wikipedia as we all like sunflower seeds um david time for your fourth pick fourth pick i think i can get that in the fifth so what i'm gonna do oh used to do them used to do them a lot as a kid kind of backed off for a while but still high up there. When done, terrific.

I'm taking pears. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. So good. So good. It's on my list twice, actually. I don't know why I put it on there. You just write on your list.

You're like pears. You write a few more, and you're like, oh, fucking pears, dude. I love pears. It's literally something. It's like I went grapes, pear, three other things, and then pear again something it's like i want grapes pear three other things and then pear again it's like right there shout out pears mine are canned pears i grew up eating canned pears but i love them i really do i really love those are great drink the juice it's like it's really really good and they're chewy i don't know because i when i when i first

had a real like actual cut fresh, I was like, sucks. It's not all... I want the canned chewy pear. There's some other fruits that are like that too. Pears, the canned ones, they're so good. Because they sit in their own sugar syrup. It's the best.

And when you dip that in mustard, David, I'll tell you what. There, you're off to the races. You hit that face, dude. John, you play these games where you might be doing it. We don't know. He says it. I don't know what's outlandish for you anymore.

Yeah. After creamed corn, spinach, cream corn, mustard, I don't know. I don't know. Corn, mustard, not creamed corn. Are you kidding with me? Regular corn. Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. What a monster. Get the cream out of there. I don't know. I don't know. Corn mustard. Not kidding with me. Regular. Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.

What a monster. I'm not a lunatic. Fuck me. Yeah. Make the cream with the mustard. You're, you're playing weird food on God mode, dude. Anything can happen. I don't know what the rules are.

Yeah. I don't know how. Weird food with a big Darth Vader head. Um, fucking pears. A weird pear. When they're not ripe, they're so hard. Yeah. You can't really. That's what I mean mean like the thing about them is like the it's like like you said high ceiling low floor your mouth gets all chalky or when when they're like nasty uh when they're like sickening sickeningly like soft and chewy and like it's almost mealy i would describe yeah that shit's pretty bad

but when they're right man i fucking love a good pair yeah they're great fun like what like what pear varieties though because there's like the bosque that's fun to say yeah there's like the anju right isn't that it red on you on you on you on you green on you red on you bartlett bart simpson comey's dude go to redondo get a bartlett pair bartlett power get a short board of redondo with your bartlett pair a concord concord's just a fun word to say concord i always think about when bob marley was dying in that documentary, they were flying him back to America to get health insurance. And he was like, and his wife was like,

Bob asked, can we fly the con card or cotton card? Like the Jamaican sacred. Yeah. That's dank. Yeah. I think I, I think I wasn't even supposed to repeat the word Concord in a Jamaican

accent. So I'd love to, uh, yeah i think i think i wasn't even supposed to repeat the word concord in jamaican accent so i'd love to uh i just love to point out that that was sean uh sean jordan time for your fourth pick and then your final pick as it is fourth pick uh i'm going they're messy i just love them but they're they're real messy so that's why they're so far down the list what are you picking a divorce i do love a divorce i did so fun but yeah they're messy uh peach oh yeah okay i like me a peach but they're i can eat a peach for hours i could eat a peach for hours they're so not worth it but like if someone's if someone says hey would you like me to prepare some fruit for you? Probably my first answer would be like, sure, a peach.

That'd be great. So I don't have to do any of it. How often is someone asking? Everything about this scenario is crazy. Not a lot. When your butler walks in before they get you dressed for the day? One Lyft driver. What would you say to a Lyft driver if they asked, would you like me to prepare fruit?

Say no. No, thank. I i'll stop beginning out it's okay i'm not gonna be in the chevy cruise for a long time yeah yeah man a peach i love a peach but it's just too messy to do on my own they're like someone you shouldn't be in a relationship with yeah they're messy and they have a pit and they always have a great butt yeah but they all but they're so good when they're good that one night where you're like man she's a she's a real party animal but i don't know about getting married oh yeah i don't want to marry the peach but i definitely want the peach that's another canned fruit that's like fucking oh they're amazing i love fresh peaches too though i prefer a fresh peach but a canned peach yeah oh yeah oh and, when you're seven, that's part of it too.

That's key when you're seven. That helps. That helps a lot. Yeah, man. A set of peach when I'm seven. I'm drinking a peach pear LaCroix right now. Look at that. It's synergy.

Look at that. I like it. I like it. And, uh, last pick. I'm just going strictly off of, this is a passion pick.

I'm going strictly off of this is a passion pick i'm going strictly off of a syrup that is this flavor that i used to have when i was a child it's my favorite dude scissor that i used to have when i was a seven-year-old i'm picking apricot i like apricot flavor i don't know that i'm thrilled i like a dried apricot, but I like apricot syrup. I love it. I love it, love it, love it. I'm happy on the stone fruits. And it's my, you know, it's my fifth pick.

I can go passion. And I do love the flavor in apricot and I like dried apricots, but I don't think I've ever even had an apricot that wasn't altered. I might've never. You've never had an apricot? I don't think so.

I cannot remember ever having one. They're a little guy. a little guy i like a little maybe i'll get one today i gotta go to the grocery store and get fucking some about the flavor it's like too tart or something i don't know i i get it though if they're ripe they're you're in a good place i just like the flavor but like they're a little they're a little guy the little guy if you get them they're little dudes i'm just gonna hold it up when i get to the cash register look at this little guy just give them each apricot can you ring up these apricots get them they're little dudes i'm just gonna hold it up when i get to the cash register look at this little guy i just give them each africa can you ring up these apricots separate because they're such little guys here's a little guy again i'm just gonna get one of these here's another little guy right here let me get one of the third little guy right

there three little guys for me little guys for dinner and then well maybe a fourth for dessert little guy four little guys for this little guy i'm a big guy though real little guy for dessert i'm not that little guy but these are little guys right here so yeah little fuzzy guys apricot little fuzzy guys they're all fuzzy guys they have a fun texture they're not too juicy either if i remember my apricot juicy redondo juicy redondo bitch um david boy time for your final pick i gotta take it because it's a weird one that i like and a lot of people don't but they offer it everywhere i like grapefruits man yeah fuck that's what i was gonna take i think from one of them when i was a kid i we'd half them and my mom would let me put a little bit of sugar on them you know for breakfast and then growing up now i'll just eat

it i can eat it like that's what i was talking about when i went we went to breakfast the other day and i just i just got like two grapefruit juices and a big skate and everybody's like you're a serial killer yeah i mean you like a greyhound yeah yeah yeah yeah it's great with with liquor oh my god yeah yeah i mean front of the program karen zach was always a was a was a grapefruit juice based liquor drinker yeah i love it with grapefruit with liquor but i like it in general i just there's it's super i totally understand people not liking it but yeah man i like grapefruit juice yeah i love a grapefruit we have a like we have a tree outside of the house now those ones aren't very good it's a pomelo which is like related to grapefruit but uh grapefruit like a fucking ruby red grapefruit dude that's a fucking good time

that's good i love it also a if you're if you're watching your health or you're watching your sugar intake or anything like that that is a high fiber lower sugar fruit yeah it's not super sugary yeah so you can eat it and like it's not it and it won't give you a huge insulin spike the way if you just house a bowl of grapes might. Yeah. Just for those paying attention to that kind of thing. I chose grape and grapefruit. All right, time for my final pick.

I didn't want to shut the door. There's a power player on the board still there is a few there is a few big dogs there's one real big one that's i'm i'm kind of surprised it's a big there's a big hitter actually there's two well that i that i have there's two pretty big for big guys big guy a little guy oh there's three there's some big headers on the wall i think i think i have to take i have to go so now i'm going i'm not i'm not going for eating this fruit itself because i'm not a fucking psycho sure but i'm taking the lemon yeah because the lemon's practical like what you can do with it lemonade but then like a squeeze a lemon on any variety of food on like any variety of food yeah

introduces an element of tartness a tiny bit of sweetness like it's lemons are fucking you're a lemon water guy right you like a lemon water i love a lemon water yeah don't ever ask me that again it just freshens up any kind of drink honestly any drink yeah a little lemon in your tea yeah all right a little lemon just your tea. Uh-huh. Yeah. All right. A little lemon just like, yeah, squeezed on some fish. Yeah. Squeezed on some meat. Squeezed on some pasta.

Like anything, it's going to kick it up a little bit. Yeah. Mustard. Put a little lemon juice in your mustard before you put whatever else in there. Now I feel like you're saying mustard weird to fuck with us. Mustard? You're mouse turd, bro. Mouseberg? mousetard your mouse turd bro mousebergs uh i have a lemon tree in my backyard that variegated lemon so they come out a little bit less sour and they're kind of pink and those are

like real good in a cocktail yeah i had a few of those one day when i was visiting yeah dude i made you those yeah about 15 then i barfed yeah but not not before you won it fucking well you retired on top of trivial pursuit yeah i can't ever play again i can't play you two again ever yeah sean blackout drunk beat dana and me i drove you pursuit dana went to brown at least i went to portland state and i beat her in banana grams twice yeah I could barely sit up on the floor and I was like you want to play again sure it's one of the most impressive athletic feats I've ever seen in my entire life

pretty tight and then I barfed like an hour later so like that dude my final pick was lemons which wraps up the draft Marissa did you have a pick yeah I fully expected this to be a first round pick I'm taking bananas Uh, my final pick was lemons, which wraps up the draft. Marissa, did you have a pick?

Yeah, I can't. I fully expected this to be a first round pick. I'm taking bananas. I thought it was going to be first two. I did too, but are we just not banana boys? I'm not. I don't really fuck with them. I hate bananas.

I don't really eat bananas at all. Maybe it's too much potassium or something. I used to make myself eat them. They also upset my stomach. But yeah, I don't. Uh, I've never enjoyed a banana anything. Mars, extol the virtues. They're just so versatile. They're good for you.

They're good for you when you're sick. They're essential for smoothies. You can make ice cream. You can make a single ingredient ice cream out of them if you just freeze some bananas and then mash it up. It just tastes like ice cream. It's amazing. Yeah, just for versatility alone, bananas.

They're cheap and they travel. I will say this. I always used to have bananas in my backpack when I was bussing around Portland all the time it up it just tastes like ice cream it's amazing uh yeah just for versatility alone bananas they're cheap and they travel i will say this i always used to have bananas in my backpack when i was bussing around portland all the time because they are you know 50 cents for like three bananas and you can you know you just peel it need it it's the easiest shit fun to huck yeah it's fun to huck a banana at some dork yeah they're fun to h hug dork walking their dog you just roll up park you what's up you dork and whip a banana banana split dude uh to recap sean you went first you took strawberry pineapple raspberries peach and apricot david you went second you took grapes mango watermelon pear and grapefruit and i went last and took apples oranges blackberries cherries and lemons we left some stuff on the

board blue blueberries my heart you'd have been the next one cranberries i like blueberries and i like blueberries in theory more than i like them in like practice i eat a lot of blueberries they're good i love a fucking blueberry kiwi but it's way too much work that's another one that i was like i had kiwi on there but i was like you can eat the skin on a kiwi nobody's gonna send nobody's gonna call the cops yeah you can yeah it doesn't poison you or anything coconut would have been on there if i had any clue how to even try to eat a coconut to straight up like you know i like coconut i think it's a fruit coconut fruit okay what else what else is it gonna be i don't know it's like it's like interesting to me but every time i eat it i'm like there's enough on flavors alone i, I had passion fruit, lychee, and guava.

Oh, yeah. Lychee. I love a lychee. Guava. Passion fruit and guava can take a hike as far as I'm concerned. You really don't like tropical fruits. I feel like there's something about my system that just doesn't jive with tropical fruit. I don't know.

I don't know what it is. It is what it is, man. Guava always tastes kind of like rotten to me. are from the northwest baby i am blackberries apples yeah and i'm from the midwest that's why it's pacific northwest yeah yeah yeah for sure for sure my favorite fruit is mustard that's why i picked it five times yeah well south dakota strawberry mustard oh god lime had to shout out to lime uh-huh also all the orange varietals mandarins tangerines yeah i had fruity pebbles on there just to be funny but that'd have been a good laugh oh i love a clementine little cutie

go to the groceries or get a little cutie? Yeah, them shits are amazing. Go to the grocery store, get a little cutie, get a little guy. They're called little cuties, aren't they? Aren't they really called little cuties? Yeah, they're called Clementines. Yeah. Shout out to Envy Apples. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com.

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