All Fantasy Everything - Fuckjamz (w/ Roxane Gay, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: June 28, 2018

You're horny, let's podcast, listen, my podcast - our guest - Roxane Gay - listen, my podcast. Sean Jordan, David Gborie, now listen, my podcast... is it clear that I'm doing a "Pony" by Ginuwine here? Is that coming across? Anyway, we're drafting Fuckjamz. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. makes it easy to be inspired and entertained as part of your everyday routine without needing to set aside extra time. There's more to imagine when you listen. Listening can lead to positive change in your mood, your habits, and ultimately your overall well-being. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their ever-growing catalog. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial, and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that's just going to get right into it. Yeah.

Because we were having such a fun conversation before. Talking about Beyonce. Talking about Beyonce. Roxy, you can talk whenever. I'll introduce you officially in a second. But yeah, feel free to jump in. I love Beyonce. Everyone knows this about me.

I've heard she just lights up the room. Are there people who don't love Beyonce? There are. There are. They're haters. Yes, they are haters. That's insane. The beehive takes care of them.

Yes. As they should. They should. What's wrong with you to hate her? Just technically, on a technical level, she went from Destiny's Child to to lemonade yeah that's all that needs to be said like she evolved that's like a john like a lennon so not joe that's what who am i thinking of who went solo after who all right you know what it's unparalleled it's unprecedented actually to go from like that level of pop to that level of like i guess it's what the beatles did in general going from like i want to hold your hand to like

but like to go solo and do it, it's amazing. It's unprecedented. Well, and even I remember watching Destiny's Child like back in the day, those old videos. And I'm like, that girl is very special. You could tell right away. You're just like, yep, she's going to fucking change things. She stood out. She just.

And the other Destiny's children are also very. Yeah. Kelly Rollins. Shut up, Kelly Rollins. Kelly and Nelly at the bar last night. You know what? Shout out Michelle, too. Shout out to Michelle.

People don't do it. All three of them were, but in three superstars, to have one that shined above the other two who were incredible, that's how incredible Beyonce is. And she hasn't forgotten them because at Coachella,

she brought them, oh, I was just so excited. She brought them out of the Super Bowl, brought them out of Coachella. Which is crazy because I she brought them. I was just so excited. She brought them out of the Super Bowl, brought them out of Coachella. Which is crazy because I have forgotten them. I have. I have. I have.

I don't want to be that guy. I have. I forgot them. Well, so you're not checking for the – Kelly's still making music. I still fuck with Kelly, but the other ones, I have forgotten them. Well, there was like that whole beef. Because two of them got kicked out. No, but her name is – With the red hair who's the redhead and it is a law name it is a law name it

is a law name yes it's it's it's it might be latoya no it's not latoya it's it's it's a it's more unique than latoya also look it up hell yeah was it Latavia. Latavia. Latavia. Yes. Is it really? Yeah. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. And I know that because it was from Latavia Robertson. Yes.

Destiny's Child. Oh, that sounds familiar. Yes. Because she was the one that they were talking about in the song Pretty Hurts. They announced when she was on, when the Destiny's Children were on one of those talent shows when they were kids. Oh, yeah, yeah. Star Search? Star Search or something. Beyonce was on, when the Destiny's Children were on, what are those talent shows when they were kids? Oh, yeah, yeah. Star Search or something. Beyonce was on Star Search, right?

Catch a Rising Star. Man, I wish that that's how I came up. One of those comedy shows that were on like the 80s? Yeah, I think I could have been good at Star Search. I can't see you in a Star Search situation. That's one of the meanest things a friend has ever said to me. Oh, I didn't mean it like that. That hurt my feelings. I believe in you. Straight up. That's one of the meanest things a friend has ever said to me First of all I didn't mean it like that

That hurt my feelings I'm just picturing I didn't mean it David, I love you to pieces Now I'm going to feel bad all day You know he's got us Don't feel bad, I don't want you to feel bad I'm a big softy

And now I'm going to feel bad all day He's an empath. Yeah, he is an empath. He is an empath. I like empaths. And a natural helper. Yeah, I was a natural helper when I was a kid. Oh, but I was at the Grammys two years ago.

It was not this year. It was the year before. So Beyonce was seven months pregnant. Oh, yeah. When she performed on stage and leaned back in the chair. Yes, leaned back in the chair. And we were all like, no. Even if it's, you know, it's obviously very controlled.

You're like, don't do it. But they put the writers underneath the stage where all the talent walks by. And it was an amazing night because, like, I got to see Chance, like, right after he won his first Grammy. And he was, like, crying and walking. And just, like, the happiness on that face was, like. That's gas in the tank for, like, six months for me. Forever. If I see someone with that smile, I'm like, I'm that happy.

That's awesome. Especially after all the years of hard work. Yeah. Never knowing if it's going to happen. Right. For real. So wait, we're not saying that Chance is an industry plant? I heard that before.

There's rap blogs. I read rap blogs. I'm an asshole. I'm just kidding. He definitely deserves it. He would have not heard this theory. Yeah. The theory is that he's an industry plant because acid rap came out of nowhere.

There was no come up. It was just acid rap and his dad is wealthy or whatever. Oh, is he? Yeah. Or his dad's a politician, I believe, right? I don't know. Something like that. They say that he's an industry plant. Taylor Swift style. I mean, if he's a plant, he's a very good say that he's an industry plant. The music is good. Taylor Swift style.

Either way, this movie- I mean, if he's a plant, he's a very good one. He's a beautiful plant. And that means the industry's way better than I thought they were. Right, exactly. To orchestrate that. Yeah, you've got it right, industry. It's like a beautiful-

But Taylor Swift is an industry plant. Oh, absolutely. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, because she's so bland. Because she tried it with country music, right? And then it didn't work, and then they redid it.

Luke Warmwater. They rebranded her as sort of country pop, and then now she's just full pop. Full pop. And it's so cute to see her forget country, but I remember country Taylor. Yeah. Because I'm old. And so it's just great to see her just be like, who? What was country Taylor like?

I don't know. I'm trying to think of one of those songs. Kind of the same. Triacly, very like. Okay. Because Country's super poppy in general, I feel like. It's getting that way. I like old Country, but like new Country is very like.

Some old like Charlie Rich. Yeah. Some old shit. I enjoy old Country. I'm from Nebraska, so. I'm from South Dakota. Oh, really? Yeah.

I grew up listening to a lot of country. Omaha. Oh. You and 311 and Steve Barra. Yes. Absolutely. That's the big three. And Johnny Carson's from Nebraska.

Oh, that's right. Is he really? Yeah, I've driven through. Hold on. It's not Fairmont, is it? No. Let me see. I've driven through there a few times, but we always stop next to the site.

Yeah. There's only like three cities. Gretna, Lincoln, Omaha. That's so cool. I mean, there are a few times, but we always stop next to the site. Yeah, there's only like three cities, Gretna, Lincoln, Omaha. That's so cool. I mean, there are many other cities, Kearney, anyway, but yeah. Skate parks in all these cities that I've been to. Yep.

My friend went to jail in Ogallala, Nebraska. Oh. Yeah, we used to go to Lake McConaughey every summer because I'm from Colorado. Oh, sure. See, it's Midwest represent. I'm from Oregon. Yeah.

So that's cool. Get out of here. Sorry, guys. Go over to the west side of the represent. I'm from Oregon. Yeah. So that's cool. Get out of here. Sorry, guys. Go over to the west side of the studio. All by himself. The tree, the tall trees. The first time I ever saw someone smoke weed, like, out in public was in Omaha. Really?

We were in Old Town. Wow. Is it called Old Town? Yes, it is. The Old Market. The Old Market. And a friend of mine, we were all skating down at the Old Market. A friend pulled out a joint, and I was like, you can't smoke that out here.

And there was nobody around. I'm like, yeah, you can, obviously. But I was terrified. I was so scared. I was like 14. The first place I ever saw that was Portland. Yeah, that makes sense. I was at a writer's conference and this dude just whipped it out.

And I was like, what are you doing? Even growing up in Portland, it's shocking the first time you see it. Really? Yeah. And then I saw it here in LA. This was right before it was legalized. I was with some friends, comedians, and she whipped out a joint and I was like,

we're on the street. And she's like, this is not a problem. And I was like, yes, but I'm black. It's still illegal for me. It's been legal for you for a decade. Roy Orbison made it legal for you for a decade. Yeah. Roy Orbison made it legal for you. Yeah.

Yeah. See, I am from Colorado though. It's, smoking weed on the street is not weird to me. Just every day. Even, I remember,

cause like, we were like, it was so, people don't talk about it, but like, it was so deep in Colorado. Like, before it was,

I had so many friends whose parents smoked weed. Yeah. I was never like, I never thought weed, and my parents don't care, but I never thought weed was bad. Because, yeah, people are like these grown folks with real jobs and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Steve's dad does HVAC, and he smokes weed every day. People think, or it's like a lot of my family in the Midwest, they think weed is so much worse than alcohol. And I'm like, oh, half our families, it's grim, but like half our family's dead from alcoholism.

None of them died from smoking weed. I have this argument with my, my mother believes marijuana is the end of time. And it's so funny because I'm always like, mom, nobody ever smoked weed and then killed someone by driving. You chill. Yes. You just like, you're like. Everyone I know smokes weed and I want to do it. It doesn't bode well with my body. So I just can't.

Same here. Yeah. So I like, I freak out. I'm like the paranoid person. That's what happened to me. I've only done it a couple of times in high school. And then recently I had an edible and. Tried to dip your feet back in.

You had an edible. Edible's not the way to go. It's not the way to go. It's not the way to go. It's not the way to go. Because I read the instructions and I took them literally and so I took the full dose. Oh no. And I was high for two days. And I was just like, this is not

no. No, it sounds like a bummer. It was terrible. Like I tied a sheet around my ankle into the bed because I thought I was going to fall off my bed. Because you do. It was so weird. But that's just logical. Thank you. Thank you.

I don't know if we blame that. I was just holding on for dear life. I don't know if we blame that on weed. That's just you using your brain. Thank you. That's awesome. I feel a little more validated now. We've got Sean Jordan in the studio.

What's happening? Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Woo. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Playboy. What were you about to say? The last time that I got really high was for a show. You do a set, and then you're supposed to get super high, and then do another set.

Oh, yeah. And I walked around the block after I got high. Oh, I just did that show. And I had my hands on my keys in my pocket the whole time. Because I was like, if I'm not holding them, I'm going to... And I was like, I'm just going to throw them away. If I'm not holding... And I was like, at the same time, I'm gonna and I was like I'm just gonna throw them away if I'm not holding and I was like at the same time thinking you're 35 at the time 35 you know you're not gonna just throw your keys in the garbage but it just twists my brain a little bit

and I just can't do it yeah so that's what I have coming up you know go watch me smoke weed somewhere yeah I will say and that's a that's a paranoia of mine because I was a latchkey kid. Yeah. So I've always been paranoid that, like, for some reason I'm just going to- Oh, losing your keys? Yeah, yeah. So I, like, even now, I use- my keys are in my hand right now. Checking for them constantly?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I stay- so you don't have to- You just made me check my keys. Yeah, right? Exactly. You just, like- All is well. Remember that they're there.

Yeah. Because I had times where I would lose my keys my mom would come home and i was just like sitting in front of the house and she's like are you fucking kidding me again dude your mom going again dude yeah again dude we were at uh we were at mcdonald's one time and my friend smith had uh our friend smith had his keys the keys to the car that we drove there on the tray and just threw them away. So we had to sift through all the fucking garbage in McDonald's in Fairmont, Minnesota. That is super gnarly. That's a McDonald's right there.

Yeah, that's a McDonald's. Oh, my friend Mike, he went back behind the counter and got his own refill. And they're like, what are you doing? And he goes, we can do this in Sioux Falls. We couldn't. But he goes, they let us do this in Sioux Falls. Everything happens in Sioux Falls. Yeah.

It's all, it's an ungoverned land. It's like Westworld. A lot of robots. I'm going to use that next time I'm at a bar. Yeah. We can do this in Sioux Falls. Oh, shoot. That's what you should have said to those dudes last night.

Like, oh, they give us their wings in Sioux Falls. Oh, yeah. David, it's going to come up. It'll come up. That's what we'll promote for you. You don't have any shows coming up, but we should take this opportunity. Friend of the podcast, friend in real life, Zach Toscani is going to be headlining for one night at Helium Comedy Club in Portland.

True story. Portland, August 22nd. Tickets are available now. We want our buddy to sell it out. Of course, even though we're going to have a free show across the street with Def Leppard. We're going to be doing a free show with Def Leppard. Chance the Rapper is going to be there. Shaq is going to be there.

Shaq's going to be there. Shaq the rapper. Yeah, Shaq the rapper. No, but August 22nd, Helium Comedy Club Portland, go see Young Viral tweets. Yeah, yeah. And honestly,

if my life is going the way I want it to be going, I might be there. You might see a... There's a big chance that I'll be there too. You might see the whole crew. Yeah. We can't comment on that I'll be there too. You might see the whole crew. Yeah.

We can't comment on it due to legal reasons, but you might see the whole crew. Maybe I'll just hop on that show and record my album there with Zach. There it is. Open. Yeah. Wait, what month are you recording your album? Zach, can I get a 65-minute guest set? Still on a date.

We'll get it, though. I'll email him today. We'll get it up. No, no, that's fun to listen to. Anyway. Not only Sean Jordan in the studio, also Roxane Gay on the podcast for the first time. You, you, you. At R Gay on Twitter. Are you on Instagram as well? I, also Roxane Gay on the podcast for the first time. You, you, you.

At R Gay on Twitter. Are you on Instagram as well? I am, RoxaneGay74. There it is, RoxaneGay74 on Instagram. How are you doing? Thank you for joining us today. Thanks for having me. I'm doing well.

Yeah. It's Saturday morning. Well, I guess it's afternoon. It's morning. You're among us. It's morning. It's morning. Yeah, we for sure just woke up. Yeah, me too.

I woke up, I went to the gym, and then I was like, I'm done for the day. Oh, my God. I did. I did. I'm for you. I'm a total loser. No, that's awful. Why are you horrible?

Because then you have that for the rest of the day. That's the best part. I literally can do anything for the rest of the day. Right, for real. And I'll just be like, I already did what I needed to do. It's sad. I feel so smug and thrilled every day when I actually get it done early and then I'm just like, whatever.

Smug is good. Because I feel superior to mortals. Okay. There we go. Low life's like us. Oh, you mean dudes who woke up and found that there were some Reese's on his floor? Reese's are delicious. It's actually my favorite candy.

Well, then why didn't anybody want some? It's one of my favorite candies too. I can't eat candy, but other than that, it's delicious. It's my favorite candy. And if you give me that, it's like a gateway drug. I understand. It will fuck all four of those cups up. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I get done with a wood chipper, and I'm like, where's the rest? Yeah. Wait all of them. That's why I don't have to run to Rogwins and get more. It's just slippery. Then you get into the whole Reese's family of products. Oh, no.

And they're changing them now. Now there's the big ones. Yeah. And then the holiday ones, which are often fresher. So I like them, the little mini Reese's. You have the pumpkin-shaped one. Yeah. It's got a little more gift to it.

They also have the minis. Yeah. Also, the Christmas tree has some nice gifts. It does have some good gifts to it. It's got a good tooth feel. It's like a cushion. Now, do you remember- Good tooth feel indeed.

Yeah, exactly. We were talking about this the other day. Do you remember the Twix used to have, so now they have caramel and peanut butter. No one remembers this. David, I'll appreciate you to lower your voice. I'm sorry. I'm excited. They have caramel and, or the two kinds of Twix now, but they used to have cookies and

cream. Do you remember that? I do. Yeah. And they had a different kind. They were always experimenting. And now they're doing Oreos. They're doing like red velvet Oreos.

Whoa. Mint. Yes. Really? Yes. We submitted my girlfriend the oreo aisle is wild you've got to go to the grocery store it's amazing are we still dipping them in milk yeah as a kid I remember

I'm lactose intolerant so I'm dipping them in joy that's a way to do it I would dip them in root beer fat kid well yeah fat kid as well you're among friends. My what was not born of condensation, but rather anger at myself

for not having walked that same road. I bet it is good, actually. It's great. You don't realize it. They just tell us to do... The man tells us to dip it in milk, and then we're like, okay, man. I don't know what to do just tell us to do it. The man tells us to dip it in milk. And then we're like, okay, man. I don't know what to do with root beer in my brain. With cream soda, the word cream is there.

So I can see dipping an Oreo in that. But I don't know how to categorize root beer. Oh, I just dip it in Pepsi, which is my drug of choice. See? So good. And it softens it. It's like, yeah, because it softens it. I'm getting weird hungry right now.

The nectar is sweet. Yes. It's so good. You're dipping it in it. I'm getting weird hungry right now. The nectar is sweet. Yes, it's so good. You're dipping it in sweet. You're dipping it in more sugar. But like, yeah, whatever flavor sugar you want. This is going to be like when we do the Taco Bell episode. Get on board.

Get your Oreo game together. You never dip cookies in soda? No, I will do it later today. Yeah, you should. While the Celtics are suiting up, I'll be dipping Oreos in Pepsi. He'll be doing a dunking of your own I'll be mainlining insulin podcast is over best joke of the day

and now we all leave this was wonderful thank you tune in again next week anything to promote anything you'd like people to read anything coming out yes it's out now not that bad it's a super cheerful anthology about rape culture yes and um then the paperback of my last book hunger is coming out on june something june 12th and i'm

going on book tour that's perfect city near you. Come check out Roxanne Gay. Cop those books. Absolutely. I think our people read, right? Yeah. I feel like they read. We run the gamut. Yeah, we do run the gamut. Yeah.

And if you don't- Me and Sean's fans maybe don't read. Sure, sure, sure. Because we're chavs. You're a couple of chavs. You're a couple of wily chavs. A couple of chav boys. I just heard this term. It's, what is it? Like what British- Chavs, isn couple of chav boys. I just heard this term.

It's, what is it? Like what British? Chavs, ain't it? Yeah. It's just like British. It's us in England. Yeah, it's us in England. Exactly.

It's what we would be if we were there. It's the British version of us. It's us, but in full tracksuits. A couple chavs at the back of the bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Young David Bowie. Yes, sir. The G is silent Oh, hell yeah. Young David Bowie.

Yes, sir. The GSI on Twitter. The GSI on Twitter. Coolguyjokes77 on Instagram. Yes, sir. What do you got coming up, bud? I got, obviously, the tour's coming up. I just want to apologize for...

Oh, yeah. I want to apologize to the men I tried to fight last night. I am in... You did, okay. I'm not doing great. It came in waves. You're not giving yourself... okay, so what happened? Oh, yeah.

Tell the whole story. I need the back story. Tell the whole story. That's what I want. We went to the Roost last night in Atwater Village as we offed. It wasn't that. It wasn't that crazy, but David just walked up. We were sitting there.

We had a big table. There was another table. Here's what I want to say. Sometimes when I'm in a place and I'm drunk and maybe I'm not in a good mood when I went out initially is what happened. Sometimes I feel like the world is my home. And that's all I'll say about that. It happened in two ways. So first you got up because you're the mayor of every building you walk into.

That's the thing. That's the thing about you. Mayor of the Roost. You stood up and you walked over to this table and it looked like you were just making friends, which is a thing you often do when we go to the roost. Yeah, that's the problem.

Hell yeah, David back at it again. And then you went to the bar and then you walked back to the table and you hovered there for a second and when you turned around I saw in your hand a chicken wing. And we had not ordered any. Chicken wings, man. That's a theme with you. It feels communal.

Every time. And then the table took an exception. They did not like that I took a chicken wing. They weren't happy. They were not happy. To how familiar you made yourself with their chicken wings. And I think the issue is that I was happy that they were not happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got into it. I think you wanted the chicken wing. Either way that panned out, you were going to be happy with it. Either you got their chicken wing. And I think the issue is that I was happy that they were not happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got into it.

I think you wanted the chicken wing. Either way that panned out, you were going to be happy with it. Either you got a chicken wing or a fight. You know what's fucked up is I don't think I ate that chicken wing. No, you didn't. It got thrown away. No, I'll tell you what happened with that chicken wing. I took it like Ving Rhames took the gun from Tyrese in Baby Boy. Because I did. I walked over. It's Ving Rhames day.

It's such a great, very specific reference. You know what I mean? How he just walked over. It's big Rams day. I was like. Such a great, very specific reference. You know what I mean? How he just walks over and he's like real calm. And I go, David, give me that wing. And he puts it in my hand and I ran into the bathroom. I go, sorry, doc. And I just threw it in the garbage can.

Then I came back out and it was like the buffer between the table and David. I was like, we got to go. Their whole table popped up. So our whole table had to pop up. Wow. And it was us and Mike Malloy was there, who was also another. The issue is that I picked up Mike Malloy early in the night, and then I was feeling froggy. Yeah, you were feeling froggy.

You guys had wrestled earlier. Yeah, because we had wrestled, and then my blood was pumping, and I was like 20-year-old David. So we had to calm the whole situation, which was actually easier, because you were so clearly in the wrong that there was no reason for us to puff up. We were just like, we're so sorry. We are so, so, so sorry. So redemption was not part of it. It was hilarious. We came out as soft as possible.

We weren't mad at you because we'd all been in a similar situation before. It was just one of those things. And I was real quick. All of us were like sorry dudes like you know i get you guys can we get some more wings can we get some drinks can we get some wings and like uh they one of their dudes was very calm and cool he was a hey man it happens that's cool two of their dudes were like they were both feeling froggy the two dudes who were gonna beat me up yeah we didn't say it the dudes who probably have beat me up had you not been there they didn't

want to they didn't want to even talk to me and i was trying to smooth they wouldn't let me buy them drinks nothing like that so uh we were got so at this point david and i had left we were outside and then ian went over to the table and i tried to i tried to i was like hey we feel so bad can we get you a round of drinks and they're like nah and i was like I was like, oh, damn. We're going to be angry all night? Oh, it's like that? And then I went back and sat at the table and felt a little uncomfortable. Right, right, right. And then they're-

Because they're like five feet away. Who turns down free drinks? Free anything, right? It's like, yeah. Very upset people. Same kind of guys who don't give out free wings. I'm the very same. the very same they were

but then the guy who was friendly initially came over and was like hey man you know it's all good and we made friends and I was like please I just feel so bad can we please buy you some drinks so we let me get him a round of PBR Tallboys and we did that and then another half hour

later after that they sent over some drinks to our table. But at that point, I had been done drinking for like an hour and I was feeling like just a little queasy. I wasn't even super drunk. But you can't, when they send over the return volley of reconciliation drinks, you can't just- You have to drink it.

You have to drink it. You have to drink it. I picked up the whiskey and cheers them and it was just straight whiskey. And I drank, I took a drink. And it was one of those things where your brain is immediately like, okay, so that's... We're gonna barf now.

Like when your mouth gets all watery. Yeah, it got all watery. I like how your brain still says barf. Yeah, it's like, alright, that's how you want to play it? That's the kind of night you want to have? Ian? 33-year-old? Wait, how old are you? 33. Oh my goodness. I had how old are you? 33. Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

I had to pop up and run to the bathroom, and I started vomiting violently to the point where I may have ruptured some blood vessels in my forehead. I don't think I've ever barfed that. I was screaming at the devil. Is it where you use your diaphragm? Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's like Pomerani.

Say it with your chest. It's the ghost of Pomerani inhabited a food processor. That's what it sounded like. Oh, wow. While I was barfing, one of the guys from the table that we had made friends with, I don't know because we were cool at that point. He walks in seconds after I walk in, and he's like, hey, man, you know where to score any Coke? And I was like, oh, I wish. And then this felt like, oh, I wish.

Oh, like immediately. And that was how my night ended. Okay, I need to hang out with comics more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're at the roost. It's good to know. We're at the roost a lot of Fridays. I'm out here.

I had no idea that Otwater Village was that hopping. Oh, yeah. We're out here stealing chicken wings. There's like a block of Otwater where the Bigfoot

and the Roost are. Oh, I like the Bigfoot. It is on like Michelle Kwan when you get over there sometimes. The Roost is... They let... I don't know. The people who own it

love us. Yeah. For some reason. So they just let everything fly. Oh, that's nice though. They have like a place where everybody knows your name. You know what the funny thing is?

The funny thing is, I don't think they know my name. They think your name is Gunny Sark. You're a black guy. It's like in Half-Baked where he's like, come on, fellas, you know me. It's Black Ass! This is how, because you went over to the security guy who sits up front.

And this is what it's like there. Yeah, I always try to make the guy laugh. Which is good. But you went to apologize to him. Especially with that job. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I went over as we're leaving. I was like, hey, man, sorry about all that.

And he leans in with a smile and he goes, something happened over at the table. I go, yeah, man, we're leaving. Don't get so excited. After 10 people almost fighting the bar that he's sworn to protect. It's a very fun night. So he's not like Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse. Not at all. He did not take his job seriously.

Luckily, Sean's one of the best coolers in the biz. He really is. And you have Malloy, who's strangely cool as well. Malloy caused this whole thing. You caused this whole thing. Okay, okay, okay. You're right. You're right.

You're right. I just want to say I'm very thankful that I have good friends because 10 years ago, I would have done the same thing and I would have just got beat up. It's definitely happened where I've just gone out like, I'm going to get in a fight tonight and then I get beat up. You know, the only reason I ever want to get in a fight going back to Roadhouse is so I can go to the hospital afterwards

and explain my injuries to the doctor and the doctor goes, do you ever win a fight? And then I go, nobody ever wins a fight. Wow. Man, he was so sad. Stitch me up with no Novocaine. Will you make love in a hospital shortly after that? Why not?

Speaking of making love. Oh, wait, you're here. Speaking of making love. Oh, my God. Good segue. All right. I'm trying to throw the alley where we give him. You guys are professionals.

That's why we give him the big bucks. Support the Patreon. Which maybe will be out at this point. It'll be out by this point. We'll figure it out. Short cough. Short cough. That was my rapper name. Anything to promote? Oh, me? No. this point it'll be up at this point figure it out yeah uh short cough short cough that was anything to promote oh uh me no uh nothing i'm around town uh i at this point i'm just gearing

up to go on tour keeping just keep an eye on the social yeah keep an eye on the social i i busted off uh yeah no nothing i don't know i don't know know about this week. I'm back in London again. If you're listening to this way, wave to me for God's sake. Uh, listen to all fantasy, everything. I got no, uh, dates coming up. I don't think I do, but just look on the calendar for them. They'll show up there. Uh, we are gathered here today. Don't want to waste that beautiful segue to draft.

There's so many words for it. Uh, I'm just going to call it fuck jams, which was the short we were using. It's with a Z, right? Fuck Jams, absolutely. Songs for which... Oh, it has to be a Z. And it might even be one word. Fuck Jams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One word for songs. No, we're going to go Fuck Jams, one word.

Fuck Jams. And I don't want to see that as an Instagram handle after this comes out. Yeah, pantslazania. We're talking to you. Specifically. There's a dude, we made some joke about Pants Lasagna, like when you if you fly on Spirit Airlines

you have to wear all your clothes so you don't have to check anything in. Pants Lasagna, where you just wear like six pairs. We don't have to be vague. My brother did that the other day. Really? Yes, he did Pants Lasagna to go to Chicago and all he carried was his personal item so he didn't have to be vague. My brother did that the other day. Really? Yes, he did pants lasagna to go to Chicago, and all he carried was his personal item, so he didn't have to pay a thing. Yeah, I've done it.

I've done it. Shout out to the Oakland airport for not thinking I was a terrorist. If they're going to back us into a corner like that, we're going to pants lasagna our way out of it. Exactly. Anyway, he started a whole social media presence based on that one joke, and it's creepy. Yeah, he really started a lifestyle. Showed a lot of pants.

Well, it kind of is a lifestyle to wear that many layers. Just for fun. Sure. It's extreme normcore. Part normcore. Now, the way we determine the order of the draft is with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors, played between the three of you.

And we throw on shoot. Here we go. Whenever you're ready, Roxanne. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, you win. Oh, Roxanne wins. Roxanne wins. Yeah.

It has been a while since the guest won. That's true. It has been a while. That's awesome. Coming in hot. Hell yeah. Coming in hot. I'm scared, dude.

So you determine the order of the draft. Basically how it works is we all, you know, we'll do five rounds. What kind of draft is it? Oh, it's a serpentine draft. Excellent question. And what does that mean? What does that mean?

Excellent question. Well, it's uh if you've ever seen the naughty by nature video hip-hop hooray when they go hip-hop hooray and they kind of leave their hands on the left and then just like another beat they'll leave them over there but then they go to the right oh okay and then they leave them kind of on the right for a second that's a great and then they go back to the left kind of leave it there for a second and then you know back to the right basically what it... And how does that translate into... Let me help my guy out here.

Let me just get in there and help out. If you pick fourth in the first round, then you pick first in the second round. Okay. So it's serpentine, like that kind of thing. So, yeah, we do five rounds. We each pick one fuckjim in each of the rounds fuck Jim

fuck Jim fuck Jim's fuck Jim's fuck Jim I feel like a lot of people have said that to a stepdad yeah fuck Jim

well they said that to their mom I'm gonna smoke cigarettes about their stepdad what will the order of the draft be how would you like to do it he can go first David's first he can go second.

David won. Ian Carmelo's second. Sean. He can go third. Are you going fourth? I'm going to go fourth. Yes. I'm going to bring in the rear because then I get to go first in the next round.

True story. Exactly. Following that serpentine logic. So with the first pick of the Fuck Jam All Fantasy Everything, David Boyd, you are on the clock. Man, this was... How long do you get? This first one...

It's almost instantaneous. It's really a flimsy excuse to talk about these things. This first one is so weird, and I don't know why, but this song always makes me think about doing it. And I want to do it to this song. Okay. Bethany, if you're listening,

maybe next time. Proud to be an American. What? Wow. David. Yeah. David, boy. Think about it.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. You guys are- That's fucking crazy. You thought anyone was going to pick that. No, I had to go with my heart first pick. I had to go with my heart first pick. But think about when it really gets going in the middle. And I'm proud to be an American stroke.

Where at least I know I'm free. Stroke. You know what I'm saying? It's like. Oh, my God. It's kind of like. It's a powerful song. Okay.

It's power. Gnarly. And like something about. You know what I think it is? I'm never going to be able to hear that song ever again with any sort of purity. No, welcome to my life. Welcome to my life.

You know what happened? You know what I think happened realistically? My mom got her citizenship when I was like I don't know, probably 16, 17. And when after they take the test and blah blah blah and they come to get sworn in yeah and after they get sworn in they show them this american propaganda that song

do they show this my mom got her citizenship around this at around 16 17 i mean when i was 16 or 17 it's the same thing right they show this american propaganda video where it's just like amber waves of grain and eagles flowing. And they're playing that song. And I think I was just a teen. And I was confused. And I had hormones. And I was rocked up. Wow.

I was rocked up. And just, I just, it's just, I don't know. That song feels like, because like all the emotion, it's as much emotion as you have when you have sex. Sure. It's all emotion and yeah i i'm not gonna explain myself no you don't know well that makes a ton of sense the human psyche is a very complicated and delicate thing yeah it's a strange you know sexuality is a spectrum man

especially when you're fucking too i'm proud to be an american that's a sexuality i did not yet know of and I feel like I've been around the block yeah right I just I want everybody to try cause like you don't know until you try and I haven't tried it which is cause it's like a weird thing to bring up

you might find some things out about yourself when that happens yeah you want to make sure you're in a stable place but it's also like it's also weird I might have to do it a few times in a row, not to brag, because I also want to foreplay to it. Oh. And then you work your way up.

There's a lot of different versions. And then when it's like, proud to be an American, bang! You know what? Yeah. Wow. You're going to have to just report back. Yes, please don't leave us hanging on that one. I'm really...

Holy buckets. Lee Greenwood coming off leave us hanging on that one. I'm really... Holy buckets. Lee Greenwood coming off the board faster than I thought. Yeah. In the fucking... You could have given me a thousand guesses. I mean, never in life would I have thought someone would pick that. What the fuck? Lee Greenwood.

International Waters is back, man. Beyonce has a version of it. So you could actually, you could, you know, Oh, so you could do like a little R&B. Yeah. Slow it down. To be an American stroke. That's exactly.

Once you think about it. We're here. Exactly. Once you think about it, then you're like, yeah, though. Yeah. Yeah, though. It's like savory ice cream. It seems weird at first, but then you're like, yeah, though. Yeah. Yeah, though. It's like savory ice cream. It seems weird at first, but then you're like, ooh.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I like the salt and the caramel. You know what I mean? Like, and I'll blow it out maybe 4th of July. Actually, now I got year goals. I'm going to try to have sex with my girlfriend through this song on 4th of— Man, are you allowed to have sex and shoot off a bottle rocket?

Yes. Only if it's not going to blow. Why wouldn't you be? At the same time, simultaneously. It's a free country. Also, the problem is it would be in my room. Oh, well. Maybe some of those poppets would be more appropriate.

Yeah, just like throw them on the ground. Pop. Pop. Awesome. Well, I don't know how the fuck I'm supposed to follow that, David. I'm sorry, man. For God's sake. I had to do what I felt.

Got this list of earnest fuck jams over here. Don't worry. Mine are earnest too. So he can do that. Okay. Good. Okay. I was in prison with earnest fuck jams, actually.

Great playwright. Great playwright. Earnest fuck jams? Yeah. Yeah. He was my cellmate. Playwright cellmate. Okay. All right. What do you got? All right. Playwright cellmate. Okay.

All right, what do you got? All right. I'm going to... Okay, I'm going to take... Maybe one of the normal songs that people actually want to... Kind of one of the normal. One that... Don't make me feel like that.

Don't make me feel like that. Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me. Do not. Some of us get off to Lee Greenwood. That's all. Lee Greenwood, yeah. I love that I found that name.

What is right there in the name, David? Yeah, exactly. He knew what he was doing. I'm going to take one that is on one of my fuck jam playlists, which if you're a Spotify sleuth, you can find because my Spotify is just wide open. Wait, you have a public fuck jam playlist? Well, it's not called fuck jams. It might be after this.

It might be after this. Spiderman fuck jams. This one and this one, it's fully obvious. There's no art or innuendo to it. It's Do You Like Drugs by Miguel. I don't know. Is that on the newest, Miguel? No, it's like a couple albums ago.

Miguel is a sexy motherfucker, man. He is. Yeah, dude. His little songs are cute. They are, right? And this one's kind of cute, but it's got this bass line that comes in about a minute into the song. That's one of those thick, snappy bass lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel like, because a fuck jam's got to kick in. Yes. I feel like it doesn't start a fuck jam. It becomes a fuck jam. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, you don't start having sex at 60 miles an hour. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, you don't start having sex at 60 miles an hour. Exactly.

You know what I mean? Yeah. We got to ramp up. You got to merge onto the fairway. Yeah, we got to drive up the hill, baby. Absolutely. This song has an on-ramp. Yeah.

Not like when we almost got killed getting onto the Arroyo Seco on the way over here. Yeah, that was crazy. It's been a crazy day. That was crazy. That was aggressive, too. Yeah. It's been a crazy 24. That was crazy. That was aggressive, too. Yeah. It's been a crazy 24 hours is what I'll say. Because today hasn't been crazy, but a couple that way.

But that little thing was crazy. Yeah, that was. I thought it was going to go down. I might just make a cup of tea tonight and stay in. Right. But yeah, do you, and this is like, do you like drugs, like a question. And then he says, I'm going to do you like drugs tonight. Which I don't know what kind of sex that is exactly.

There's so many different drugs. Definitely going to call your mom after and feel weird about it. Are you high right now? Well, I have been listening to Lee Greenwood. If you're doing someone like heroin, that's a very different sexual experience than like coke. I feel like he means coke. He probably does mean coke. He means coke. Like a lot different sexual experience than like... Coke. I feel like he means Coke. He probably does mean Coke.

He means Coke. Like a lot and poorly. And in a bathroom. Yeah. A lot and poorly. I'm going to do you off of my hands in a bathroom. Halfway through, I'm going to be pitching you screenplay and restaurant ideas. Yeah, I'm going to tell you my whole life story and smoke 30 cigarettes.

Yeah. It's just a sexy-ass song, and I love the – it is because it's like you might be sort of a slower romantic speed, and then that bass line comes in. And then you're like, oh, we're fucked. And you're like, okay, let's get into the main event there. I'm with it. I'm with it. That's a good pick. Do You by Miguel.

Okay. Sean, time for your first pick. My first pick, I'm going... I don't want to be a dork, so I guess I'm going to leave an obvious one on the board. But I'm going to pick... I'm doing me. That's the only thing I ever get mad at you

about, by the way. I feel like people have been like, David gets so mad at Sean, I just want Sean to be Sean. I'm going to pick Lately by Tyrese, if you guys know that song. Tyrese. Tyrese. It's good.

Fast and Furious. Have I told you I love you lately? Have I told you you still mean the world to me? Have I told you I love you? It's just an awesome song. Guys, and if you thought that Tyrese was in here with us. No, it wasn't. That was actually me.

Just in case. That was good. It was Sean Jordan. It was Sean Jordan. So there's, I forget the movie, but it's in a movie when I was like 22 or something it came out and I was like, oh, you can, you can, when I was first listed, oh, you can play music while you have sex. Because I'm not really.

Whoa. I'm not really. It took you to 22 to realize that? I still don't do it. I still don't really play music when I have sex. You just like to hear Stirrin' the Stew. Or whatever. Cronk!

David! Oh, that was... Are you guys serious? No, no. No, I'm not, but like, yeah. It's just the visual, if you will. How is this stew? I'm not married, so I've never had sex. But as soon as I, now that's all I'm going to

think about on my wedding night. Stirring the stew. God. You guys never eat Dinty Moore? That's good. Dinty Moore? Yeah. Look, are you over here relating to Lee Greenwood on a sexual level?

It makes sense that stew is also a mess. I feel like I'm really playing my hand. Anita Baker also recorded this song. Oh, really? It might have been. Back in 2012. So I guess. No, he was the original. Oh Baker also recorded this song. Oh, really? It might have been 2012. So I guess. No, he was the original. Oh, he did it first.

1998, Tyrese. I fuck with Tyrese real heavy. You do like Tyrese. You know what happened? You know why I like Tyrese? Because he did a song with Da Brat called What Do You Like? Yes. And as the song's first starting, nobody says anything.

And just out of nowhere, he's just like Tyree! He just screams his name. I'd do that a lot if I had a dope name. I can't say Sean when I run into places. Exactly. And I was like

yeah I fuck with this dude. Tyree's just how you're doing everything. Yeah he is. And he's so he's so passionate about the Fast and Furious franchise as am I.

Yes. And so it so passionate about the Fast and Furious franchise, as am I. Yes. And so it's just amazing to watch him explode and implode all the time on the internet. He had a rough year. He did. He had a rough year. Things have not been good for Tyrese. But he loves his daughter. Yes.

And he loves himself. And he loves himself. Tyrese! When I heard lately for the first time, I never would have thought that that man was going to be a millionaire actor. That's never would have crossed my mind. And now he's like one of the main Fast and Furious. What's the Fast and Furious beef with him? He was mad that The Rock got a spinoff, right?

He was like, everyone should be. The original cast is mad because people ended up really liking The Rock in the franchise. And the franchise kind of won't go forward without him because it's a billion-dollar franchise. Oh, yes. Every time the movie makes at least a billion dollars. It's at LAX. That and Harry Potter are at LAX. Those are the first things you see.

Yes. Every time I land, I'm like, oh. And I'm going to the baggage claim. I'm like, yep, yep, yep. As it should be. And so people are like, he was, The Rock, you know, wants to do this spinoff. And they have this whole ethos of family in the same way that the movie has the family. And so he's seen as going outside of the family.

And Vin and Dwayne don't get along. That's right. Oh, in real life they don't. They're always like sub-Instagramming each other. I didn't know that. And so there's some of this tension because they recognize that without The Rock continuing, there may not be a reason to continue with the franchise,

even though the franchise will last regardless. But they're willing to cater to The Rock. And for the people who have been there since movie one, especially because Vin sees himself as like the father of this franchise. Which he is. I agree, for sure. Yes. And so there's like a lot of tension and I'm just super intrigued by it and I will read

any article about The Fast and the Furious and this tension. I will just, anything. I love it. I didn't even realize how much I loved it until you guys started talking about it and I was like,

I have grown up with these people. For real. They have a whole time. When Tyrese took his shirt off and then wrapped it around his fist and punched a car window,

I wanted to do that. We went to the premiere in Sioux Falls and all the car people in town, they had their hoods up and shit. I thought that sentence

was going at all. We went to the premiere and I was like, I was about to be super people in town. Oh, yeah. They had their hoods up and shit. That's not where I thought that sentence was going at all. We went to the premiere and I was like, I was about to be super impressed. Dot, dot, dot. In Sioux Falls. All these dudes out in the parking lot of Century Theaters with their hoods up and I'm walking around like I know shit about cars, but I'm like, don't. Yeah, yeah. What, do you got glass packs in there?

Yeah. Oh, you got a Dodge? What, do you straight pipe it, dude? Rip your cat out? What, do you want to put gas in that? Yeah, me too. Me too? Yeah. Are you going to straight pipe it, dude? Rip your cat out? What, are you going to put gas in that? Yeah, me too. Me too. Yeah.

What's that? A couple of spark plugs in there, huh, bro? Yeah. My favorite thing about my love for the Fast and Furious movies is that I don't

know shit about cars. Yeah. And I have no interest in knowing shit about cars. It probably helps at this point to not know shit about cars.

Well, it's like a half movie. Yeah, they can drive as fast as a plane. Absolutely. Because when they parachute the cars out of the plane, that's when I was just like, it's like a movie. Yeah, they could drive as fast as a plane. Absolutely. Because when they parachute the cars out of the plane,

that's when I was just like, God is real. And that's like when I realized we're not perhaps engaged with reality here. No, it might be. You mean when they're driving the bank vault down downtown LA

down the streets and you're like, okay, so we're all on the ride. Yes, yes, yes. They're going to drive up a waterfall at some point. I feel like in the next movie, there must be a spaceship involved because they've done everything else.

They've done submarine. They've done helicopter. Building jumping, Dubai, those buildings in Dubai. Oh, God, that was crazy. This is what I love about the movie, though. They're like, we're going to do something insane, and then they top it. So not only did they jump from one building to the next,

they jumped to a third building. You know what? Sign me up. I don't care. I love it too. And then the car flies out the window, but they jump out of the car and manage to not, like gravity doesn't work at some point. What do you mean? What gravity? What are we talking about?

Rules. Einstein. Whatever. They don't apply. apply yeah it's just awesome fuck Newton fuck Newton fuck Newton yeah straight up we can thank

Tyrese's Lately for that whole franchise because that's what got him started in the mindset of wanting to be a movie star there we go

I like to think that Roxanne Gay can I say one more thing before we leave absolutely Fast and Furious it was also Ja Rule's spot to look for.

Oh, Ja Rule messed up. He really blew it. He did. He was in the ads for the first one. Yeah. And all he did was say, Monica! And then Monica!

I could talk about these movies all day long. Ja, no, no, baby. We'll have you back to just draft Fast and the Furious. Yeah. That was my original choice. Oh, yeah. Oh, damn. We'll have you back to just draft Fast and the Furious. Yeah. That was my original choice. Oh, yeah. Oh, damn. Well, we were going to do the movies, and you stupid me.

Next time, Noah. What we're going to do next, when you come back, is we'll just draft the franchise and just take things we like from it. Oh, that's a good idea. Because there are incredible moments. There are at least 150 million incredible moments in these movies. And we call it Draft and the Furious. Come on. Nice. Come on. See, you are a good man to have around. least 150 million incredible moments and we call it draft and the furious come on nice come on see

you are a good man to have around this guy i mean it's a great moment and i'm gonna draft this hopefully you guys don't take it from me when we do this but like when vin jumps from the racing car to the other one and catches letty in the air and then they land and they survive yo tell me Dominic Toretto is not gonna live forever you tell me that we for real have to you really have to come back and we do

cause I'm thinking of shit that I wanna say I am very passionate about these movies so the answer is yes who likes Corona that much who loves Corona like that come on

we gotta save it that product placement is so brilliant because at first you're like, yeah, they just really love Corona. It took me like four movies to realize, oh, it's product placement. There'll be a couple months in between,

so I'm just gonna say flex and cast off and then we're gonna move on. Come on. But anyways. All right, yeah. Roxanne, it's time for your first and your second picks. Oh, yes.

My first pick is Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. Oh, yeah. Really? Hell yeah Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. Oh, yeah. Really? Hell yeah. Yes. Because it's a long song, and it has that narrative arc where you start with the foreplay, and then you get into the grind. Da-da-da.

Yeah. Da-da-da. Da-da-da. Da-da-da. Da-da-da. I just love the sort of just, it really helps just get things to where you want them to be. Yeah. Sure.

It does. It builds like that. It's important to have that build. The pace is so good of that song. It's a sexy song. It is. It makes me feel sexy and like, I'm going to rock her world. Yeah.

Yes. Let's go. Yeah. It's just so good. Because you need that confidence. Yes. You need that confidence. It fills me with confidence.

And the more that it builds and the beat builds and I'm just like. When you're both cutting, you're both in. I didn't do anything. I'm going to try this move. Yeah, you have to. I'm going to try it. I'm going to try it. Add it to your stroke list.

It is very, very. It is foolproof. Look up at the ceiling. Turn around. up at the ceiling. Turn around! Plus there was that Puff Daddy cover-up for the Godzilla movie

and Puff did nothing sexier than Puff Daddy. The popular Matthew Broderick joint right there. When I think sexy, I do think Puff. You think Puff. I like Puff.

They call me the fat Puff Daddy. They call you the fat Puff Daddy? I mean, I call me that. Puffer Daddy. I'll call you that. It's catching on. Puffed up daddy. I like the foreplay reference.

Like I've always been big on foreplay. I'm a fan of foreplay. And so taking time, you know. Like get me ready and I'll get you ready. That's part of it. When the older I get, I don't like go, I don't like. You gotta preheat the oven. It's like, yeah, let's have a night.

You know, I don't, you know, it's fine to do during the day. I'm not saying I'm opposed to it, but like I want to take time. I don't, we don't need to rush it. Like we don't need to do it before we go out for dinner or whatever like let's get home I enjoy it at the culmination of a good date I must say where you've been like on your

at least for me like I'm on my best behavior which I always am I guess but I'm like dressed up you're extra I'm just like trying to be like the best version of myself I think the on stage version of myself, which tends to go over well. She getting it. She getting it.

You just flexed off a cast right there. A little bit. It's just, you know, the night goes on. You have a little wine, a little drinking. Just good conversation. Sometimes you kind of act like maybe it's not going to happen. Yes. Even though you know it's going to happen. You know it's going to happen. I always go act like maybe it's not going to happen, even though you know it's going to happen.

I don't know it's going to happen. I always go through life thinking it's not going to happen. Yeah. But when it does, it's always like an extra treat. Uh-huh. Yeah, I love it. I love dates. I really do love dates.

I'm a big date guy. You're a date guy. And now you got me thinking, because my girl's moving out here in a couple months, and I'm like, I went to the, what do you call it? What's the? The Getty. The Getty. The other day.

Oh, you've got to go to the Getty. She would love this. Yes, you have to take her to the Broad. The Broad. Sorry, the Broad. You know what? Another nice museum that you might like, well, I don't know, is the car museum, the Peterson. Oh, the Peterson Automotive.

It's on Wilshire. Okay. Wilshire and- Kind of west. Wilshire and right and Fairfax. I'm going to write all this down because I want to take her to a cool place. Peterson's a lot of fun. I'm not a car girl, but

it's fun. It's shiny stuff. It's really well done. It's easy to walk through. It's nice. You just appreciate something like that. Something so nice looking. You're like, look at how dope that is. I'm not an architect, but I see a bridge. I'm like, hell yeah, look at that bridge.

What a great analogy. You can be ready for another hour of those, huh? That was really nice. Smooth. I know I look like an architect, but I'm not. I'm definitely not. Here's another good little, if you want to do a museum and then a second location, you go over to the Hammer Museum, which is on the UCLA campus, and it's free.

Hammers? Yeah, Hammer Museum. Started by Dr. Armand Hammer, who is Armie Hammer, the actor's grandfather. Wait, wait, wait. His grandfather's name is Armand Hammer. Hold on, though. His name is Armand Hammer? Armand Hammer.

Armand, though. Sometimes life is as great as you think it is. It's just a gift. Sometimes it's just. But he collected all these impressionists and stuff. So there's those art, that art all over the place. So like old classical art. Sure.

But then they also have like a very aggressively modern wing. So you can go see some like weird shit, you know? Yeah. And they do a lot of Los Angeles based artists. Yeah. It's really, and it's very diverse in all ways that you can be diverse it's not just like racially diverse yeah like aesthetically diverse and hell yeah it's just awesome i love the hammer you go it's such it's maybe yeah i'm gonna tell you maybe my favorite museum not to listen to

this episode don't listen this is a price and then the second location is because it's over by ucla you walk around there then you go over to Diddy Reese and get a little cookie ice cream sandwich. Oh, shit. See that? And that's a fun part about a date is getting a treat. Ian's got the egg in. He's a date man. You gotta have some moves. I'm always looking for new date ideas.

In Culver City, the Museum of Jurassic Technology. Oh, yeah. Jurassic Technology? Yes. Like the rap group? Jurassic Five? No. I'm sorry, guys. Jurassic Technology? Yes. It's the weirdest- Like the rap group? Jurassic Five? No. I'm sorry, guys. I had to go. J5?

Yeah, there's a big tuning exhibit. That's a deep cut. No, it's just- That's when I lost my virginity. It's the most bizarre museum I've ever been to, but it's just fun.

You can walk through it for a couple hours and then go to a cute restaurant in Culver City. Culver's got some good Hatchahall. Oh, yeah. The fun little one. I was just, yeah, okay. Okay. The Cannibal's a crazy restaurant in Culver City. Culver's got some good Hatchahall. Oh, yeah. The fun little one.

I was just, yeah, okay. Okay. The Cannibal's a crazy restaurant in Culver City. It's called the Cannibal? Yes. Have you been to the Cannibal? I've been there

to pick up lunch when we went to lunch once. It's wild. Is that where we went for the night? We got the old 96er. It's like straight out of Great Outdoors.

There was 96 ounces. They brought it uncut and they showed us and we're like, dog. Yeah. And then they went and cut it. Five of us, like big. It was 96 ounces. They brought it uncut and they showed us and we're like, dog. And then they went and cut it. Five of us, like big. I would hope so. We're all fairly big.

And still, we were just cash. Rolled out. Yeah, dude. Had to be rolled out of the restaurant. I'm going to have to. I've never been to the sit down portion. I've been to the deli part to get lunch. And I've always wanted to go because it's a beautiful space.

It's gorgeous. It really is. Get a crew. We'll be a part of it. Yeah. Get that old 96. God, this one should have gone on my birthday. Yeah, that's a beautiful space. It's gorgeous. It really is. Get a crew. We'll be a part of it. Get that old 96. Good to know. And then we'll go to the new Fast and the Furious movie that will be coming out right around then I'm at.

I hope so. I shot a Food Network pilot with Matt Bronger. Friend of the podcast. We went to the Cannibal and they made a pig's head. I forget how they cooked it. It was like S made a – it's a pig's head. But I forget how they cooked it. It was like Szechuan or some kind of pig's head.

And they bring it out, and it's pretty gruesome. But then they cut the cheek meat off, and it's some of the best. Cheek, they say, is great. It's some of the best meat. They say cheek is good meat. It's so tender, and the ear is crispy and delicious. And then Bronger ate the eye. You sound like a lunatic.

I know. No. It's not more gruesome than any other part of the dish. I think if you're going to eat it you got to be able

to eat it man. True. Face to face. I'm a chicken killer from way back. Oh wow. You know what I'm saying? That was a weird way.

No you're not. You're taking me back to my roots. Elizabeth. No no no. In Sierra Leone. Oh Sierra Leone. They made it

when I was there. Way back. Yeah I was well no I was there when I Leone. Oh, Sierra Leone. They made it way back. Yeah, well, no. I was there when I was like, I got in trouble, so I had to go there for four months. Yeah. And like, my cousins were like- Immigrant families are all the same.

Yeah, it is. Go back to the old country. They'll take care of you. That was always hanging over your head if you fucked up. He told me this the other day. You had to go to Africa. And my cousins would make fun of me.

They were like, oh, you're from America yourself, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then my aunt was like, you want to kill the chicken? And I was kind of scared. Yeah. And everybody was making fun of me. And then I did it.

And then I just had to kill the chickens the whole summer. It is true. If you're going to eat it, you should be able to maybe face down that decision. You got to be able to do it, man. Yeah. Because I don't think there's anything wrong with eating meat, but you should have to earn it. At some point, you got to be able to do it. Anyway, Matt Brogger popped in the aisle like it was a gummy worm and ate it in front of me and God and everybody.

That's that Chicago shit. Well, that's that Portland shit, man. Oh, yeah, he's from Portland. Thank you. Thank you. Cashmere by Led Zeppelin. Sexy-ass song. It's funny bringing it back.

Oh, yeah, that's what we were talking about. Back to sex. Now that we've talked about slaughtering animals Which is similar Either way I'm eating you know what I'm saying Hell yeah My next pick is This is it by Kenny Loggins

Oh shit Which one is that one This is it Oh shit that's a good move. I'm full of good moves. I am full of damn. I'm thinking of Huey Lewis. I don't know the Kenny Loggins.

I am too. I got a stock in my hand. I can't get it out of the way. Because it's like the pace of it. It's like. It's like. Damn. It's just like when things are getting brisk and like.

Yeah. And you're like, Kenny Loggins is it. This is it. Yeah. This is it. This is it. He's sneaky smooth, Kenny Loggins is it. This is it. This is it. This is it. He's sneaky smooth, Kenny Loggins.

He is sneaky smooth. People think of him only for Christopher Robin, but I'm like, no, there's a whole discography there. I think about him for all of White Man Voice.

Yeah, Kenny Loggins. Kenny Loggins is dope. You have a good career on Kenny Loggins, huh? Oh, dude, he's the soundtrack king. In his pocket the whole time.

He is the soundtrack king. He's like Danny Elfman. Top Gun. Dude, he had two. Danger Zone and Playing with the Boys on Top Gun. I'm Alright on Caddyshack. Footloose on Footloose. He did all of Caddyshack and Kenny Hogan.

Jesus Christ, deep cut. Over the Top, Halfway Across the Sky. And then I'm Missing One. I didn't know you hit that. I'm surprised you hit that many. Me too. I'm like, just one? I'm a K-Lo fan, man, all day.

Big K-Lo. What about K-Lo and Messina? You go way back? Messina, dude. Tick rocks, Messina. Get out of here. Take a long walk off a short pier, Messina. You heard me.

You heard me. You were in the way. The bass stays in my voice when I talk to Messina. Absolutely. Man. Yeah, that's a great pick. Yeah. stays in my voice when I talk to Messina. Absolutely. Man. Yeah, that's a great pick. Yeah. Hell yeah.

Oh, I came prepared. Yeah? I came prepared. I stayed up late last night and came up with some picks. Yes. Hell yeah. Yeah. The night time is the right time.

We're balling now. Yeah, Sean, don't fucking blow it. I'm not going to. Am I going? Yeah, it's up to you. All right. So I'm going to pick No Ordinary Love By Sade

Oh This is No Ordinary Love Classic No Ordinary Love Wow you're going like Classic

Yeah Like I really love you It'll get weird And I'm fucking you It's gonna get weird Cause I Well I'm thinking Cause I

This is so My Laura's getting Get a bump But like I think about Like what would I wanna Make love to Laura And I'm fucking you. It's going to get weird because I, well, I'm thinking, because this is so, I'm like, Laura's getting bummed. But, like, I think about, like, what would I want to make love to Laura listening? Like, what do I want to listen to? And these are the songs I'm like, yeah. Absolutely. Why would she get bummed?

Ah, she'd just pry private, you know. Here I am hearing it out for everybody, but that's me. So. This is like a gentle, like. It's not like, yeah. You're not like, it's not like you're, it's not like you're picking drill music. It's a very sweet, sweet, beautiful song. I think about Lauren. That's not my next song.

It's Salt Shaker by the Ying Yang Twins. What do I think about my cook? Me and Lauren put on tip drill and then we, Jesus Christ. We do a couple ladders and then we. All in a day's work. Do a rail off the Bible and then go for it. All in a day's work Do a rail off the bible

And then go for it No Sade No Ordinary Love I always I always wanted a skate To like a skate part I always wanted a Sade song I'm not gonna

Cause maybe somebody picks it But there's A couple Sade songs Where I'm like That'd be good to skate to That's really Cause the flow of it Like if you were just

Throwing hammers Doing like huge handrails And big gaps and stuff Skating to No Ordinary Love Me like if you were just throwing hammers doing like huge handrails and big Like the hammer brothers in Mario Your drywall every time we have sex hammers through the wall Hammers. Your drywall, every time we have sex, hammers through the wall.

I'm flying back tonight. I got some info. I got some intel that I need to make you aware of. But I guess it goes back to the foreplay aspect. Like, it's just, it's a slow song, and you're both kind of feeling it, and yeah. So there we go. It's a good choice.

No Ordinary Love by Shada. My parents fucked to that shit, I know. Oh, wow. Well, because as a kid, I didn't realize it, but we listened to Shada a lot. My parents have seen Shade like five times. Really? Oh, yeah. I would love to see Sade.

Shout out to the, what was the one that they imploded in Washington? The Kingdom? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Kingdom. Yeah, they saw Sade. My parents have seen Sade. Sade's such an enigma to me. I didn't know she was British until like a couple years ago.

Oh, I didn't know she was British. Right? I didn't know anything about Sade. You've never heard her talk this way. No, I haven't heard she was British until like a couple years ago. I didn't know she was British. I didn't know anything about Sade. You've never heard her talk this way. No, I haven't heard Sade talk. And actually, I like that because we know so much about so many artists. Yeah. You know, between Instagram and Snapchat, which I guess I'm the last Snapchat user.

I still mess with it a little bit. Oh, okay, good. I'm still right for it. And, you know, like gossip and Twitter. And I enjoy all of it, but I also enjoy not knowing anything. Like, I love not knowing anything about Sade, but her music. Yes. Her music stands.

Because you can paint your own picture about, like, what does Sade do during the day? Absolutely. Like, what's she doing right now? God, what is Sade doing right now? It could be anything. She's having a nice glass of wine. Yeah. Do you think she cares about the royal wedding?

Because the royal wedding was today. Yes, it was. Yeah. Maybe she's out there. A lot of people were like, did you stay up? What the fuck? No. I mean, there's a couple of group threads where people are like, what are we doing for

the wedding? I'm like, what? Are you serious? What? That's another weird thing that my mom is into. I mean, I read the stories when I woke up. I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's interesting. I'm happy for her, but I don't know that. Be involved in the culture. Damn, I actually think my mom probably watched it. I actually got invited to the British Embassy in LA today to go to an afternoon tea celebrating the wedding. Did you really? A high tea? I was like, if you like me that much, you should have invited me to the wedding.

So there. I'm not going to your tea. Exactly. I don't care how many finger sandwiches. Actually, it depends on the sandwich. Plus, there was a dress code. No, it's just like, I'm not dressing up on Saturday. This is Los Angeles.

Nah. Yeah. I fuck with that. Not dressing up on Saturday. It should be athleisure. Yes. You guys are lucky I got this t up on Saturday. This is Los Angeles. Nah. I fuck with that, not dressing up on Saturday. It should be athleisure. Yes. You guys are lucky I got this t-shirt on. I wore suit pants last night.

I was wearing suit pants. Was that what they were? Yeah. Okay, I was wondering about your pants. Shiny-ass suit pants. I didn't feel comfortable asking, but I was like, those are cool pants on your body. I decided to make some moves. I liked it. I liked cool pants on your body. Okay. I decided to make some moves. I liked it.

I liked your whole shit last night. I was looking at you at North Hollywood at the show. I was like, yeah, Ian's got like, that's a whole wave. Yeah. That's a kit, dude. Kit it up. Kit it up. Jeet up from the feet up, as they say.

Jeans on. Team strong. Team strong. Except no jeans. Suit pants. Flash dance. Sure. Sure.

I don't know. Chain out. Chain out. No doubt. Yeah. Chain was I don't know. Chain out. Chain out, no doubt. Chain out. Yeah, chain was out last night. Chain's out right now. Found the Emmy chain. Time for, shot ain't no ordinary love.

Time for my second pick. Mm. Mm. I feel, I'm finding like a pattern in what I like about fuck jams is good surprising bass lines that come out of nowhere. I'm going to take Pink Matter by

Frank Ocean and Andre 3000. Oh, man. You might have messed up one of my picks, dude. How so? I can't tell you yet. It was probably a Frank Ocean song is what I had in mind. It probably was. I want my sex songs to reference Dragon Ball Z.

Who doesn't? Goku. My Jinbu. That is, I mean, you can't say enough about Andre 3000's guest verse.

The way he's like basically put together an amazing album of guest verses just in the last like four or five years. Not all that 17 minute song though.

He's going through some stuff. There was no verse on that song. I listened to the whole thing. You listened to the whole thing. I was pissed. There's no verse. I was listening to it with my buddy Johan and he was like, man, let's just turn this off. And I was like, no, he's gonna rap. He's coming out. Yeah. And he didn't.

He never did. He just played the clarinet. But anyways, that is a great pick. Yeah, dude. Frank Ocean, something about his voice is just so sexy. It's just mellow and has the right tone and cadence, like pyramids. Yeah. Oh, my God. There it was.

Now that it's out there, that was going to be one. That was going to be one. That was it. Oh, right. That song is so dope. It really is. It's so good. It's so complex.

It's like three songs in one. Yes. Yes. Amazing. And that's why it's also, I mean, even though it can't be drafted, it's so complex it's like three songs in one yes yes and that's why it's also i mean even though it can't be drafted it's a well i guess maybe it can't i mean anyway it still can but yeah that that bass line with john mayer dude oh yeah john mayer yeah john mayer's the the guitar on that song i didn't know that i didn't know that i saw frank ocean at fyf last year and it was amazing in In Austin? No, in LA. Why did I think that? At the Fuck Yeah Fest. I'm thinking of Hell Yes Fest.

Yeah, not Hell Yes Fest. He had Brad Pitt out on stage with him. That's funny that there's a fest called Fuck Yeah and a fest called Hell Yeah. At this point, there's a lot of festing. There's a festival every weekend in Austin. Book me for all of them. Yeah, we'll go. We'll come back out. We've done two AFEs at festivals this year. in Austin. Book me for all of them. Yeah, we'll go. We'll come back.

We've done two AFEs at festivals this year. Hell yeah. Shout out to South by Southwest. Yuck, yuck, yuck. But yeah, Andre's verse, though, I mean, Frank Ocean, I love that he, I mean, he never feels like he's forced singing.

He's like not forcing it. Right. It is a very measured but beautiful kind of. He's just a talented, talented person. So when he does like tear into it or put like, you know, like really like put some like on it, it's like really, you really feel it. Also, Andre on that, because like it's hard to find a rap song that you want to fuck to. Yeah. So like, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah. Like it's like, it's like, because it's like, it is like a dude yelling at you. Yeah. For the most part, right? But Andre's like, like yeah comes right out measured love it i hope everybody fucks after this yes i hope so too or if you know if you don't have a partner you know just treat yourself treat yourself with this playlist double click your mouth go have yourself a day yeah uh so, Pink Matter by Andre 3000 and Frank Ocean.

David, time for your second pick and then your third one. My second pick is Red Light Special by TLC. It was like, I think that like- It is so good. As a kid too, it came out when I was a kid, that album Crazy Sexy Cool. I didn't know what was sexy about that album Crazy Sexy Cool I didn't know what was sexy about that album but I knew it was sexy and that song is just

like. Chili was sexy about that album I mean she was the sexy one T-Boz and Left Eye too all of them were individually and as a group. Like Left Eye's crazy T-Boz is cool also if you don't remember that video T-Boz dropped cool also if you don't remember that video T-Boz

dropped a little side booze yeah dropped a little side booze that might have started the side booze I'm gonna have to go look again yeah in the silk pajamas she puts her arm up

oh yes you're right yep oh yeah oh yeah I was on it but that song yes I am right it's just so sexy and like

it's so like and like like the words like like, it's yours, all yours. If you want it tonight. It's just like, it's like, it's so sexy. Everything about that song is so sexy. They're playing strip poker in it too. They're playing strip poker in the video.

And just like, and like, they're all sexy in the ways that they were sexy. Like, left eye is very like brash. And like, I think she has a cigar in the video. And like, it's just like, oof, that song, man. Yep. Oof, I'm getting hot. It is warm in here. It is warm.

Might gotta take my shirt off. Yeah. But yeah, Red Light Special, TLC, man. Excellent. Just a second. And my next song is, this is just a classic from back in the day. This is just like they made it for that. I'm picking Freak Me by Silk.

Oh, god damn it, dude. Come on. You know that was on my list. That was going to be maybe my fourth bit Really? Freak me baby They used to play that on the radio It's ridiculous

That song is ridiculous It's kind of amazing And I hear this a lot And I say it a lot And then I think oh I'm being old and cranky But it's true 90s R&B was unparalleled It was filthy.

No, they were going through it. Without being like, crass. Yeah, yeah. It was filthy. And I loved listening to it. And knowing like, I would get in trouble if I get caught listening to this. Because these are things you can't say to people.

Dude, I'm in the whip with mom. And I'm like nine and still comes on and goes, let me lick you up and down till you say stop and see enthusiastic consent right oh let me play with your body baby make you real hot and I'm like hey mom I'm nine and I like I like the declaration like halfway through the chorus the guy's like cause tonight baby I wanna get freaky with you he's like listen

listen and it's so deep when he says it yeah you're like shit okay what's up yeah I'm gonna fuck you I would fuck the guy and then I'm gonna take a long shower fuck that dude straight up

if he came in here like like last night, as drunk as I was, if he came to the bar and he sang that to me, yeah, man. Instead of a chicken wing, you'd be like, let's go. Yeah. Yeah. I stole that chicken wing. You would have gone for a drum instead of a glass. David actually sang Freak Me To the chicken wing.

Yeah. You presented a compelling case. Absolutely. Yeah. Freak Me By Soul. It's You presented a compelling case. Absolutely. Yeah. Freak Me by... It's just like... That's a solid pick. In the rhythm of it

and like everything about... That song is sex. Have you ever seen the video? Yeah. They're dressed ridiculous. Like white, flowy. Oof. My man in the horizontal stripes.

Oh, yeah, dude. My man in the horizontal stripes. Come on. Come on. Come on. You just gave me my next pick. I just thought of a song that I hadn't thought of until you said that. I'm glad. Thanks, bud.

Yeah, Freak Me By Silk, man. It's so good. It's so good. Excellent. Excellent pick. All right, time for my third pick. I'm going to take Crystallized by XX. I don't even know that one.

It's like they make electronic. Like house beats kind of stuff? Kind of like house music and stuff, but it's like Jamie XX. House music is sexy. Yeah. But like more. It's got a steady stroke beat. Yes, it's got a steady stroke beat.

And there's, I I forget what's the singer I should have been better prepared for this Anyway It's like a dude and a woman Who sing like back and forth And it's just like an Unabashedly sexy song Like when it comes on

It's one of those ones that sounds like sex You need a song where it's just straight up like, we're fucking. We are adults doing what adults do. Made for sex. There's two things you can do. Out. Out. Open. You can be drunk and we'll figure it out.

Having sex or driving around Mulholland in a convertible at night and there's no other cars for some reason. That's sex too. That is sex because that could be happening. That's sex too. That is sex because I love that drive. It's so great. We just did it last, we were on Mulholland last night. We were in a Lyft, a minivan.

I love LA and every time I go up on Mulholland, I just think this is why people move here. This is just incredible. It's very LA when you're up on Mulholland and you can see the whole city. And you're looking out and especially on the days when there isn't that smog, which is also adorable.

It's just like, oh. When it's been rained away or something like that. Yeah. LA is tight. It gets like a bad rap. It really does. I have to say. From literally the rest of the country.

From like everywhere else. It's so wonderful here. The weather's always great. There's so much to do. So much. Both in terms of cultural adult mature shit, but just in terms of like thug shit and just like hanging out and doing nothing so many great bars i mean the alcohol game in this town oh my god yeah we gave it a good run last night you could go to the roost with us last night or you or like 20 minutes later you

could be at some weird speakeasy where they haveasy where they're chipping ice off a big block. Yeah, and it's all the secret bars behind restaurants. Yes. And like you have to walk through a video machine. It's like, really? Yes. I was at a – I go.

I'm here. I was at a friend's birthday party that was at like this Cuban spot where they're like up on this – like there's a big like ledge surrounding the whole bar. And there's just a band up there playing like Cuban music, which was amazing. I didn't even know how they got up there. and then like people are dancing you're hanging out like drinking and i just like caught a feeling because it's la and i'm like what went up to one of the guys in the band i was like where's the after party yet and he was like it's here and of course there's an after party yes and then we were all of a sudden me and my friend were like in this like

weird back room like with a dj and like them like just an illegal like after party back room bar kind of place that's just open on weekends and you coming up to that guy is what la is totally yes it's you feeling like man you know what yeah i'm a king tonight i mean you can like something in the air makes you especially even me like i find myself taking risks and chances i would never yeah yeah something about this that just makes you, especially even me, like I find myself taking risks and chances I would never take. Yeah. Something about this thing that just makes you think, I can do anything. Exactly.

You're out here. Stealing chicken wings or whatever you want to do. Because everyone here is on like four hustles. Like I have yet to go to a restaurant where the waiter doesn't have some artistic thing that they're doing. Oh, yeah. I remember one day we went out to dinner and the waiter was like, oh, I just dropped my single on YouTube today. And we were like, ooh.

Nice. And we looked it up on our phone. Yes. And I was just like, yeah, I mean, you can do anything here. It's just great. You got it. There's a lot of people who are from here, and those people are on different waves. But if you're here and you're not from here, you got to really want to be here.

Yes, you do. Which means you're going to be like a certain kind of person who's going to go for it and do extra stuff like that. I came a long motherfucking way to be here, man. A long way. I fucking worked for it. I love it here. I used to have credit at the liquor store, doggy.

I fucking love Los Angeles. Shout out to Randy at Tabor Liquor. I don't think he listens, but he's a good dude. Hell yeah. But yeah, just Crystallize by the XX is one of those sexy songs that you could drive around LA to

I wonder how many babies are going to be made nine months from when this airs I hope a ton you're welcome name them Alf Fantasy everything name that baby Draft you know what I want from this I want people to have sex so good,

this is the sex they reference later. Sure. Oh, that one time when we... Oh, yeah. That's what I want to happen from this podcast. I want to fill your collective spank banks. Didn't somebody come up to us at the live show in Austin and say that they had sex to our podcast?

They definitely did say that. Not as cool as I thought it was going to feel. Not getting drafted today is episode 43. Always. Or whatever. That's for a reason. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but it's... It was cool that they did it, but also like... Don't tell us. You're fucking to me

yelling at Sean? Yeah. You're fucking to Ian's hot riffs? Yeah. Damn, step up your game, son. Yo, R&B exists.

They're professionals. We are strictly amateurs. Sean, you're a professional. It's time for you to professionally make your third pick. So I called an audible on the one that I thought I was going to pick. So I'm going to pick Slow Motion Juvenile. Oh, really? Yeah, that's what I'm going for. I love that song.

Slow motion for me, baby. Slow motion for me.? Yeah, that's what I'm going for. I love that song. Slow Motion for me. Slow Motion for me, baby. Slow Motion for me. And again, it has the right beat for it. I like it like that. She working that back. I don't know how to act. Slow Motion for me. Slow Motion for me. Yeah. It's a mic breaker.

It's just I haven't picked anything with any pep in it yet. They've all been real kind of slow and slow motion again with the good stroking, but it's just a steady beat, a little more up there. I was a virgin when that song came out, and I didn't want to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You wanted to relate to that song so bad. I want to be a dick thrower. Yeah! Who among us? To this day I still am not Oh god I never

No Yeah that song Oof Yeah it's just This solid It's just a solid joint And I don't think I realized

Any song you can get An uh in Uh Cause he felt it Well when it came out To Cause it was like So

That was a summer jam Ha had come out And and I was like, that's what I thought Juvenile was. It was years. This is the second Apple show, right? I really didn't hear too much other than like, was it 400 Degrees or whatever? 400 Degrees. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'd really only heard those two Juvenile songs, and then Slow Motion came out. I was like, oh, look at this motherfucker. He didn't get it done. Oh, shit. I didn't know he had that gear. Yeah? I didn't know. Because I never perceived Juvenile as a sexy man, per se.

But he was 400 degrees he was sexy yeah he was out there man multifaceted i hope he listens he's a big i would lose my a friend of mine i have a friend if juvenile retire i would be like that's it yeah this is as good as it gets a friend of mine saw him in real life it's my buddy's only celebrity sighting so anytime people talk about celebrities, my buddy brings it up. And he said they were in a car in Mount Vernon, Illinois. Whoa. And his friend saw Juvenile in the car next to him.

And his friend was like, Juve! And he said Juvenile was like, what's up with y'all? Yeah. Yeah, it's a perfect little experience. And that's how you know the story is real, because you're like, that is what he said. Yeah. He said, what's up with you? There we go.

Super juvenile, man. Juvenile slow motion. Yeah. All right. Thanks for Roxanne. Yeah, you're on the clock. Yes, my third pick is, it's a strange one, but Sound and Color by the Alabama Shakes. Oh, yes.

Oh, really? Yeah. Yes. Oh, yes. Really? Yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. Okay, we're turning corners. Oh, yeah. I love the Alabama Shakes. No, I didn't come here to play.

I'm an adult. I'm 43, so I've got a grown woman game. You know what I mean? It turns. It curves. It curves all the way through. And so it's romantic, and it's just unexpected beats, but it's like when you're really in it, you don't need the beat anymore

because you know what you're doing. Right. And Sound and Color, I find it to be a very sexy and romantic song. So it's not just the... Yeah. Which is important, but it's got just a lot of emotion.

You need the dulcet tones. Yeah. Yeah, I feel it. I love that song. I never would have even thought to put that on the fuck jam, but definitely. You better add that to your next fuck jam. It's on there.

It's on that Spotify. Man, we got to make a playlist. Yeah. For real. Oh, yeah, this will come out. I got some moves I got to make. Brittany Howard is fucking amazing. That voice.

Her voice is. Oh, my God. The rain. God. It's just like, damn. Yeah. Damn. And like, it's one of those where you like steal.

Did they have a late night appearance? They've been on some late night like, damn. Yeah. Damn. And like, it's one of those where you like see- Did they have a late night appearance? Is that what they did? They've been on some late night shows, yeah. I feel like I saw one of their late nights and I was like, that was even why I even went into it. I think they'd play like Hold On on one of the like- Right. Yes, they did.

And I think that's, I don't really watch late night TV. Yeah. And so that was the one I've seen. That you write. Because I saw that they were going to be on and I was like, well, okay. All right, fine.

She's one of those people where like, it's better live. You know what I mean? There's not a lot of artists where you see them and they're like, this is better than the album. It's like fucking amazing. Some people just need that production and I won't judge it

because I can't sing for shit. Sure, absolutely. But like when you can sing live and the other, one of the few artists I've seen that can really sing a live well is Adele.

Oh yeah. Of all people, I bet. Man, I fuck with Adele. Not to drop another Grammy story, but the same year. Look, if I wrote for the Grammys, we would be talking about nothing else. Yeah, drop that shit. One of the dopest things about writing for the Grammys is the dress rehearsal. So they run the entire show with all the talent earlier in the day. The dress rehearsal. So they run the entire show

with all the talent like earlier in the day. The dress rehearsal is cool. I wrote for the ESPYs, which is the Grammys of sports. It is. If you will. But I was saying,

the cool thing was watching dress rehearsal is so dope. Because you're in this room that's going to be full of people later, but there's like maybe 50 total people

in this room. That's kind of awesome. And like they had the stage, they had the main stage, and then they had a stage in the middle of the room, which is where Adele opened the show by singing Hello. Fuck. That song. I was tuned out because I was like working on a script

and didn't even realize like the live rehearsal was about to start. And then like all of a sudden I hear, like, kind of like that, and then, like, I get 15 feet to my left, it's just, like, Adele standing on the stage, just, like, powerhousing. That song is so beautiful. Dude, that song is, like, especially, like,

that's one of those songs where I'm, like, because, like, not all music do I put myself in it, right? But when she's like, I'm in California dreaming, and you're just like, fuck yeah, I live here. This is where I stay. Hello from the island. Fuck, that song is good. It's just so good. And when she does it in her concert, she opens the concert with it. And there's this image on this huge screen of her eyes closed.

And then they open. And she sings the first note of Hello. Honestly, I orgasmed right there. I was just like, okay. That's so fine. I'll shoot my shot now. All right. We might got to listen to that in the car on the way back.

Absolutely. Windows down because there's no shame in my game. Then she did, oh, I don't want to say the other song. Well, if you know the great, she did another song because maybe it's one that's going to get picked, actually, because it really is good. Okay, keep it to yourself. Yeah, I will keep it to myself. I'll bring it up at the end of the podcast, just in case.

Man, I fucking love Adele, dude. Oh, yeah. My number four pick. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's super cheesy. It's a newer song, but it's When We by Tank. Oh, I don't know it. Yo, Tank!

Yo! Yo! Tank! Yo! Yo! Yo! Tank is a sexy motherfucker. Yes, he is. Tank is mad sexy. The song is When We Fuck. It's just, it's when there's no more pretense. When We. And it's just all about, like,

I want to be aggressive and savage if you're okay with it. I love songs that build in consent. Yeah, absolutely. And then, like, I'm going to de degrade you but i want you to want it yeah yeah because you like that how i feel about life and so it's great has a tank line what do you say like sex love pain baby i'd be on that tank shit tank is like tanks fucking hard he is i mean his name is tank and he's super under like i don't well i guess i wouldn't know but he seems underappreciated for like what he's super under, like, I don't, well, I guess I wouldn't know, but he seems underappreciated for, like, what he's doing. For sure. He's like the dream where it's like, when you hear a fan of him, people are like, I fuck with him, but you don't, I don't know why he's not famous.

He's not quite mainstream, right? No, he's not. That's a deep R&B cut for sure. I think that a lot of black people listen to him while having sex. Yeah. I don't think Tank has crossed over into the white community. I didn't know you could listen to Tank while having sex. Yeah. I don't think Tank has crossed over into the white community. I didn't know you could listen to Tank without having sex. I didn't either.

He never plays in a car. Everybody gets in a car. Now we know. You just listen to that on the train? You're shaking a pullover? All right, Jim. I was listening to When We On The Plane when I flew in two days ago from an event in Ohio where I interviewed Gina Davis of all people on stage,

it was wonderful. Famed archer. Yes. And she talked about it, like why she took up archery and it helped her gain confidence. But yeah, I was listening to when we, as we landed and I,

you know, I love landing in LA because you see the sprawl and you're just like, this is the most incredible city. Yeah. I've never seen sprawl like this and I travel quite a lot. It's just unparalleled and I was just like tank take me. Finish me off.

That's great. Land this baby. A lot of turbulence coming in tank land the fucking plane dog. If you guys are listening to this and you haven't heard any Tank songs, you listen to Tank, you'll get it. That shit is sex. It's just classic R&B.

It's really just classic, sexy R&B. Out of Washington, D.C., Tank. Yeah, that's where they come from, Chocolate City. He was offered the opportunity to play college football, and he turned it down to focus on music. Yeah. He wanted to fuck. Wow. He wanted to fuck. Wow.

He contains multitudes. Also, can I just say, Chocolate City, one more weird story. Yes. I was doing a stand-up open mic one time years ago, and there was nobody there. And somebody was on stage, and he was heckling this white guy in the back of the audience. Yeah. Because he was the only white guy there. And he was like, where are you from? Where are you from? And this white guy just goes back of the audience because he was the only white guy there. And he was like, where are you from?

Where are you from? This white guy just goes, he stands up, snaps. He snapped. And he said, Chocolate City, bitch. And it was like sexy. Yeah. Chocolate City. I just, because you said DC, I just remember.

It was like, I'll never forget the look on that guy's face. Chocolate City, bitch. Very well. Very well. It was mad sexy. Mad sexy. And that guy's face. Chocolate City, bitch. Very well. Very well. Mad sexy. Mad sexy. And that is David's next pick is that moment. Just that.

I mean, we can only go from there to a pick. Yeah. When we by tank. I'm definitely listening to that. Yeah, we got to listen. Man, it's going to be. We might kiss in the car. I'm ready for it.

I would love to see that. I'm ready for it. That would be. That's Patreon subscribers. I would love to see that. I'm ready for it. That's Patreon subscribers. We're going to trade the Prius for one of those cars with the bench up front so all three of us can sit up there and kiss on the right back. We need the limo with the hot tub in the back like

in that Cameron video. Hell yeah. Just smooching. And I'm just going to sit on the roof and just watch all of this. We need someone to monitor us. Just smooching. And I'm just going to sit on the roof and just watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, boys. We need someone to monitor us. Make sure we don't get too much.

I will direct. If you're in LAF. I'm going to need you. Bend over. Thank you. Put your leg over there. Put your leg up. And then put your back into it.

Yeah, what's your back doing? He deserves better than that. You're not even flexing. Don't you lazy stroke him. Do work. That's your friend. If you're in LA on May 19th and you thought you saw that, you saw

that. It happened. Sean, is that for your fourth pick? I'm going Brown Sugar D'Angelo. Oh yeah. His voices. I'm starting to catch a vibe with me too. What I enjoy, catch a vibe with me, too. Like, what I enjoy, it's just kind of slow music.

Like, I'm not... Oh, you have Tyree, Sade, and D'Angelo. I know. I got low T, dude. It's down there. I don't, you know, I'm not very aggressive. You started with your clothes on. Yeah.

You're into four-play, five-play, and six-play. You got the whole game. Oh, man, that song is... We might take a bath, you know? I mean, yeah. I like... Yeah, you can take a bath. And Brown Sugar has held up.

It is very good. It really has. It really has. It's just... D'Angelo's wonderful. It's such a good song. Yeah. And you can barely hear him singing no matter how loud it is you can just kind of you're like was he singing you're like yeah he's fucking singing it's such a good song heard it in a cab one time and that because that's

why i think about that and like dang it's one of those songs where you hear it like if you hear it when you're with your partner and you're just like you're like it's gonna be on when we get back to the crib like it's going to happen when's then when's when we have reservations for 6 30 all right cool good we're gonna eat fast we might have to push those back yeah there's some he's got a few songs oh dude he's got some cuts and he's just fucking sexy and off the new album too off of black mess, which was amazing. I thought Black Messiah was great. It was so good. And there are some really sexy songs on there.

I was so glad we got another D'Angelo out, because he was off in Axl Roseland for a while. Yes, he was. He got fat, which I love. Yeah, I was so happy to see that. I was like, expand, brother. Yeah, expand. Yo, I love me some fat D'Angelo. There's a sexy part of the body named after you. After that, you can go be the D'Angelo. There's a sexy part of the body named after you.

After that, you can go be the D'Angelo. Everybody does, dude. Everybody does. Oh, really? I call them cum gutters. Yeah, that's the other one. Sean's a cum gutter guy. We're more of a D'Angelo.

It's fun to say that. I'm a lady, so. She was sipping tea when she said that. If they've never heard that and you say that and they're like, what? And you're like, okay. And then they think about it. And then you think about it. You're like, mm-hmm.

Yeah, cum got it. It's a fully throttled phrase, cum got it. It is. Yeah. But it's actually also like I love that part of the body on a man. It's so sexy. Like when it's that defined. You wonder what he does daily

what's your day to day that you got those muscles cracked he's got some different exercises oh yeah I think there's something that those dudes do like an arch of some kind there's an arch they're like laying down and like raising the hips off the ground

I think that's the workout is just thrusting they're fine something. I think that's their workout is just thrusting. They're fine tuning. And why not? Yeah. Bless them. Bless them all. When I go to the gym, I'm looking for full renovations.

They're in there like fine tuning and shit. Yeah, they're tweaking it. Yeah, right? I always just go and I'm just like, I'm going to just do straight cardio.

I can't even get to your fancy shit. I just. Your fancy shit. I can't. It's too much. I don't get all those parties when they're like, I'm going to work on my delts.

Okay. What are those? Have a good time. Where are they? I have to work on my body first. Right. I'm in the gym like, I just want to feel a little bit better tomorrow. My bar is so low.

Like, did I last 30 minutes? Yeah. For real. Okay. Honestly, just getting to the gym, I'm like, oh, I'm here, dude. That's it. I felt like today when I walked into the gym, I felt, because there's one in my building. Trust me, I did not venture beyond my building.

Yeah, that's dope. And I was just, when I walked in, I was like, okay, no matter what happens today, I walked across the threshold. Yes. Right. Now, if I sit on a piece of equipment, even better. Yeah. When I'm in the gym tomorrow, I'm basically just trying to get credit at the liquor store when I'm at the gym.

Also, fuck you, Barstool Sports. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did you see that tweet? Yeah, I did. That made me so angry. Fuck that shit. They had a tweet where it was like.

Somebody took a video in a gym. They took a video. Oh, I saw it. And I. Of that guy. It took all my. Because I have a lot of Twitter followers. Yeah.

So I try to pick my battles. And I almost did, but I didn't have time to like manage it. And so I almost said something because it's like, you always yell at us for being fat. I know. Like the world, like we're always criticized and made fun of and teased. When we fucking go to the gym and finally do something about it, you guys are like, oh, look at this fat ass at the gym. Look at this dork at the gym, like believing. And he was just feeling his little. He felt good.

I was so, it was such a sweet video. And I was like, good on him. I went so deep on that. And they were just making fun of him. I went so deep. It shows such cowardice to do that.

Absolutely. It kills me. Like you have nothing better to do. You have that little confidence to where you're going to fucking rip someone down for being dope. You know what people were trying to say? The anger,

the anger. Cause I, man, man i went i was really encouraged though to see how outrage people got because that is fucked up it's so bad time it's happened because this model girl remember when she did that she was making fun of this overweight woman or i hate the word overweight like over what but this fat woman at the gym. And it was just like, wait a minute, at the gym? Like, well, then what's your issue? Yeah, what's your point? For real. What do you want us to do?

Where would you like us to be then? Yeah. For real. What's the space we can go be in and exist and not get fucking like mocked? For real. That should be me. She got sued though.

She did. Yeah. And deservedly so. Yeah. Fucking great. Because like the gym is, you should be able to just be whatever everyone's there just

trying to stay alive another day right it's sweaty and awkward don't look at me don't talk to me and sometimes people are like good for you like fuck how dare you condescension of telling me good for you

like I need your little pick me up I hate being here but I'm gonna do it telling me, good for you. Like, I need your little pick-me-up. I hate being here, but I'm going to do it. Right, but I'm fucking here. I got myself here. When I was on the football team, like in high school, we would run 240-yard dashes, and we would do like 20 of them, right? And it sucked. And so by the end of it, I was like gasping for air.

Oh, I've been there. Football camp, the slowest dude in football camp. You know, and you're like jogging. Long runs, yeah. And then the skinny kids come up, and they run with you. You know, and you're like jogging. Long runs, yeah. And then the skinny kids come up and they run with you. I know. And they're like clapping. They're like, clap for me.

Come on, Ian. I don't need to show. We believe in you. Wave for me. I would literally, yeah, I'd be like, shut the fuck up while I'm running. I'm like, I don't need you to fucking clap me in. I'm not in the gym when you're putting up 115 on the bench press. Exactly.

Come on, Cody. Come on. Exactly. Exactly. I'm spotting you. Exactly. Come on, Cody. Come on. Exactly. Exactly. I'm spotting you. I've got 335 pounds. I'm 17 years old. Don't worry about what I'm doing.

Sorry, that one hit real close. For real. I feel your pain. I understand. That condescension. It's just that you need encouragement or that you want it. No, I want to get this over with so Yes. So I can go lie on my couch. Exactly.

Also, you came. Yes. You came there. Yeah. I'm here. You don't need to. I know what I'm doing. Yeah.

Man, that was a weird tangent. It's good to get that. But I'm glad. I mean, this was some therapy for him. He's just like, yeah, I support you. Yeah. And that's why we love you, Sean. Sean's over there thinking about kickflips.

That's how you be an ally. I mean, I was the kid benching 115. Yeah, man. Just like, I'm weak. And I was the kid on the leg press laughing at you. Yeah. And we're not, nobody's better than anybody. I love a leg press.

I had the leg press. I can go hard on the leg press. Scapegoat for 22 years. These thighs are magical. See? Don't you worry about what's going on under this. I'm saying.

I'm saying. Everybody forgets that fat people are super strong. Yeah. That's the biggest misperception people have. I'm like,

it takes a lot of strength to walk this body through the world. Yeah, exactly. Don't. I will fuck you up. I'm Jennifer Jones, but black. And tall.

I'm moving 350 through the world out here. Don't think I can. Every day is the gym. Every day is the gym. Don't think I can earn it. Man, I feel like we're back and I'm stealing chicken wings. Now I'm ready. Now I'm going to fight somebody.

Don't let me walk into someone. We're going back to the roost. Oh, man. We're going to go back there eventually. Brown sugar by D'Angelo. Good choice. There it is. And brown sugar is also delicious.

It is. Ooh, I do. A little St. Sue Carmel used to throw some brown sugar on like an acorn squash. Ooh. It's good. You know where I put brown sugar? On my bacon-wrapped Brussels sprouts. Oh, yeah. Just a little brown sugar on the top of it. We had, I don't know, like because we were poor,

but it was just toast, butter, and brown sugar. No, we did that. Butter and brown sugar sandwich. Yeah, my mom called it sugar toast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a thing. All right, tight. That's totally a thing. That's a thing. All right, tight. That's totally a thing, and it's delicious.

All right, Ian, what's your fourth pick? Yes. Thank you very much, Roxanne. Thank you. Because, I mean, we could talk about brown sugar for a long time. That's another slippery slope. I'm going to take Spotty Adi Dope-alicious by Outkast. That's a sexy song. Yeah, it's a sexy song. With those horns in there. I was wondering how you were going to work Spotty Adi Dope-alicious by Outkast. That's a sexy song.

Yeah, it's a sexy song. With those horns in there. I was wondering how you're going to work Outkast in. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Yeah. Man, see, now I got to change my pick because I had some horns. That's too Andre 3000. Maybe I just want to fuck Andre 3000.

Not after you hear that last 17 minutes song. I definitely I just want to fuck Andre 3000. Who doesn't? I definitely don't want to fuck Big Boy. It is a little weird. I feel like if you had sex with Big Boy, there'd be a dog in the room. Yeah. Just nipping at your feet? Fucking involved, but never breaking eye contact. Ah, that was tight.

The horns are just really sexy. Yeah, and they're up. But they're not like, it's not hitting you on the head with the horn. Uh-uh. It's like hella like. Yeah, they don't take over,

but they're fucking definitely. It's still smooth. And the song really takes its time and kind of unfolds like that. It marinates. Yeah. You've got to marinate a good fuck song. And whoever that is singing in that upper register, I don't know.

Who is that? It might be CeeLo, if it's Dungeon Family. I bet you it's Sleepy Brown. It might be. Oh, I hope it is. It is Sleepy Brown. Oh, shit, you were right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because he sings so much for them. Yeah. And then it's a little bit weird when, it is a song about sex, a lot of it. Yeah. And then it's weird. It's a little bit weird when... It is a song about sex, a lot of it. Yeah. You know? Feeling like I achieved a whole order of presidential.

My heart was beating so goddamn fast. I also feel like you could fuck to the breakdown at the end. Yeah. When I spotted a Spodey-Odie. Delicious angel. You could fuck to that, too. The way she moved reminded me of a brown stallion horse with skates on, you know?

Yeah. A lot of people have said that about me. You don't move like a brown stallion with skates on. Yeah, they call me the brown stallion. Her neck was,

oh, speaking of which, her neck was smelling sweeter than a plate of yams with extra syrup. That's why you can put some brown sugar on. Sure, sure. I get it.

Yeah. Brown sugar is a sexy smell. All right, I'm getting off of brown sugar. All right. What's your fourth pick? We're getting off of brown sugar, but we're getting into your fourth and then your final picks as well. I'm rounding it out strong. My fourth pick, I'm actually surprised that it's still on the table.

Okay. I'll Make Love to You. Oh, boy. It's a man. I just watched that video the other day. I was just going to say, put the video up. Yeah. Put the video up.

Wanya and Lisa Turtle fucking rolling in that Mercedes or whatever at the beginning. And she's like getting mad at him. Or no, is that on Bennett Nee? That's on Bennett Nee. I'll make love to you is the dude putting the alarm in. It's the security system. He's putting that alarm in at the beginning. He's like, Miss Brown, you're going to be safe.

He's just got this real low register going on. He's got a turtleneck on. It's that dude from Above the Rim. Yeah. Dwayne Martin. Yeah. A lot of basketball movies about that guy. And she goes, Dwayne, would you like to stick around for a drink?

He goes, I have some other business I need to attend to. And I'm like, you baller. That song is like, oh, Boyz II Men is just so good. Yeah, dude. They're good. And just like. I'm actually surprised that one's still on the table. Yeah.

But that's the thing. A lot of music is sexy. Oh, yeah. And just like. I'm actually surprised that one's still on the table. Yeah. But that's the thing. A lot of music is sexy. Oh, yeah. Music is sexy. I feel like in general. I love music. It's just like, it's sexy. The problem with this one is I would want to start singing along mid.

When they go, baby, all through the night. Here's the thing. Yeah. Here's a tip I'll give you. Just do it. Depending on position, you can. Whoa. If I'm behind Depending on position, you can. Whoa.

If I'm behind, they don't know exactly. If I'm just like maybe pantomiming it. They don't know what your face is doing. That's a good call to do. Or you just start kind of singing. You just improve my life. Yeah. If you're like- Leveled up.

Because man, when you're stirring the stew sometimes- Come on right now. David. Now we're back out. There's so many better soups that could be being stirred. Stew of all things. Maybe a carrot ginger. Criminy.

I don't stir a stew. I stir a carrot ginger soup. Criminy. Again, I'm not married, so I don't know, but I assume that I'm not a stranger. Although that does, you know what is fun? It's rarely first night sex but like when you've been with someone a while when you do start laughing and then when something happens that's a very intimate sexy moment sometimes i love that humor is so important i don't know

if it gets more we can't laugh together during awkward intimate moments yeah and we're not gonna work out having sex with somebody you love is like the best. It really is. I mean, and I don't know if it's because of my age, but it's just the best. It's just great. Plus you finally get to a place where you're like, let's try this weird thing. Yeah. And you like giggle your way through it,

but then the giggling stops at one point. I like it when you're like, yeah, we got it. We got it. Yeah, it gets serious for a moment. Then you're like doing it. Then you pop out and you're like, whoa, that ruled.

Let's go again. Let's go again. I'm going to remember that for the morning. You're like, hold on. Your leg's cramping. Just one second. You're like, whew're like I gotta switch angles yeah I had both legs cramped during sex once

both? both legs oh no oh my god and that was one where I just had to be like just one just give me one second

just get off for once yeah I just gotta I just gotta I had to get up and walk like Fred Sanford to the bathroom and just stretch it out with the door closed

just alright I'll make love to you my boys to men to the bathroom and just stretch it out with the door closed. Just... All right. I'll make love to you by Boyz II Men. Excellent pick. And my final pick is because I'm thinking about having sex

with somebody I love. Let's Get Married, the remix. Oh. Wait. It's so like... Hit me with a little bit. Meet me at the altar

in your white dress we ain't getting no younger girls so we might as well do it been feeling you for some time girl I must confess let's get married baby let's get married I just wanna get

married cause for a second for a second if you're fucking and it's good for a second that's how you you gotta feel like yeah i'm gonna put the ring on this yeah yeah yeah that's good like like i love you sign me up for 50 more years of this yeah like it's just like it's like it's that yeah that song is such a like i fucking you. I love you and we're fucking. Like, it's like, it's so good. It's so like, just the spirit of that entire song.

The remix got run on it. Yeah, yeah. There's a party going on. That's where you switch it around and do some weird shit. Yeah, I ain't from here. Tony coming with me. Yeah. Because what he says is, I already gave you the keys to the range and the last name probably changed.

I'm like, yo, I feel it. I feel like that whole song, man. I fucking, that's like a song for love. Get a little more mature. Yeah. That song's for lovers. Way to close it out. Good choice.

Yeah. I feel like, because I was like, okay, all these are whatever. But the last one's got to be some shit where it's like, yeah, I fucking love whatever. But the last one's got to be some shit where it's like, yeah, I fucking love you. You really took us on a journey. Yeah, dude. I mean, wow. Let's get married. That's how it should end.

I'm just a Colorado boy at heart. At the end of this, let's just get married. And like, yeah, the whole sentiment of that song, everything about that. I've always loved that song. Because that song came out, I was like 13 when I first heard that song. Yeah, Jagged Edge was like early on.

Jagged Edge, I forgot that's what I'm saying. And that name is so hard. It's so hard. I fucked with the way they- Tank and Jagged Edge, but two of the smoothest. I fucked with the way they talked about love. The juxtaposition is great. Man, those guys really made me think love was cool.

Perfectly groomed facial hair. Perfectly groomed facial hair. Perfectly. Also, that song changed. I always thought I loved it because he was like, you changed. You're not the girl that used to be the same. And then he goes, you were on your way to the house, money,

keys to the range. I was like, yo just i fuck with jagged edge i really like i get it man they're just tough dudes who want to fall in love right yeah and let's get married is like it's just it's the video's great and everything about that song is just like i feel you i agree yeah this is what i'm into good choice hell yeah uh time for my final pick yes 5-5-5 mmm mmm alright mmm

this is one of those topics everybody's tone is getting sexier by the way I know I was just like mmm damn let's top your field pick

you're tuned into all fantasy everything the quiet storm we've got three more picks to make and we hope you'll make them with us is that your bedroom voice? because it's good thank you

that's a good voice I mean I get why the ladies are like Ian yeah I see why it hasn't been a month since you've been an adult since I made that proclamation on this podcast it's been maybe a little more than a month

oh yeah sure I cursed myself why don't you hit that tone one more time? I think you'll get it figured out. You're not just going to be kissing in the car. Okay, shoot.

Well, shoot. You know, it's funny when you go past the swear words to an altered swear. Oh, shoot. I'm going to take it just because it's still on the board. It's another one, but I'm going to Fade Into You by Mazzy Star.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fade into you. That is making some love. That's making love music. Absolutely. Yeah. Good choice.

Yeah. Everyone has good choices. I went to the grocery store. I bought all the ingredients. Yeah. Here at my house, we're going to make some love today. Exactly. I got everything we need for it. Got the whipped store. I bought all the ingredients. You're at my house. We're going to make some love tonight. Exactly. I got everything we need for it.

Got the whipped cream. Got the solo cups. We're going to make love. I've made love amidst a lot of solo cups. Oh, yeah. A lot of solo cups. There's a long table in the room.

Oh, you're taking me back to my 20s now. Hoping there's more Gatorade than vodka. But no, and there's not. And drinking anyway. Yeah, man.

Mazzy Star. It's just a classic, just a classic love making jam. It's smooth. Yeah. It's just like it blends into each other,

the song. And you kind of, you feel like an adult when you're making love to that song. Yes. You feel like grown people. This is grown people's music. Yeah, grown folks' music.

It's been music that scored sex in a lot of people's first apartments. You know what I mean? Where they were like aspiring. I'm an adult now. I put clean sheets on. I'm having sex to Mazzy Star. I've decorated with things that aren't beer bottles. I'm an adult.

Yeah, there's no posters in my room. You have a scented candle, perhaps. Yes. Yeah, it's from Target, but it's a scented candle. It's okay. You're just letting the young lady know I have made an effort. Yes. Exactly.

I'm trying. It's on a plate. I forgot to take the sticker off the bottom. Yes, but I will get to that eventually in life. I am into candles now, and you are too. You're into nice candles. I'm into nice candles. It's a new hobby for me,. I am into candles now, and you are too. You're into nice candles. I'm a nice candle. It's a new hobby for me, but I'm into it.

Yeah. Damn, I'm not going to go out. Every night when I sit, so like the nightly routine, like before I go to bed, I'll just watch something and kind of play around on my phone for a while. But there's always candles in my room, and it just calms me down. Because I'm real stressed and nervous like all the time. I hide it well, but candles really calm me down.

At the end of a long day, I love it. I just light these candles on my coffee table in my living room where I'm watching TV. And I just, I just, it relaxes me. The scent fills the room.

God. And if I can say, I just, I'm just thinking. If anyone would like, if any candle makers like say Joe Malone. Please Joe Malone. Or Baze would like to.

Dip Teak. If you want to hook Roxanne up. You know, if you want to support thisone. Please, Joe Malone. Or Baze would like to... Dip Teak, if you want to hook Roxanne up. You know, if you want to support this podcast. Please. Send candles to the podcast. They will get to who they need to get to. You know what I've been getting into lately, if we want to get into just a little more candle talk?

Bondage, dude. Bondage? It's full-blown bondage. Because of billions. I mean... I'm just... They expect me to be so in charge at work that sometimes I need to give up control, you know?

I drink wax from the candle sometimes what do you make me do Nest Nest is a good is that the one that just got to the crib yeah

it's not it's not in like the Diptyque price range which can sometimes be prohibitive it's like it's right in the $40 range for like a kind of

a big candle wait what does Diptyque cost oh a lot I grew a lot I went to Diptyque and I was just pulling shit off and then she was like okay just pulling shit off yo and then she was like okay let me bring you up and then she was like 460 and i was like well okay well i'm already

at the register here's my credit card yeah that's not what i thought you were going to say because it's candles is it it's that hot oh yeah And I knew about them from, this is embarrassing, but DJ Khaled. Sure. And his thing that's fucking new. The Instagram. The black ones, right? The beige. Yes.

Yes. And so I bought this huge one. Oh, it's so great. And then she was like, wow, how did you? It was the one in Larchmont Village. And she was like, how did you learn about us? And I straight up said, DJ Khaled. We're the best. Did you scream it out? How did you hear about us? He's one of said, DJ Khaled. We're the best!

Did you scream it out? He's one of our best customers. And I was like, I bet. Great, I bet he is. Here's my question. And then she gave me some free matches. And I was like, I fucking hope so. Yeah, this should be free.

I hope so. I want to free another one of these candles. Give me four batches. She did actually throw in some free candles. They do hook up things with the little ones. They're really nice there. And they'll walk you through. Teeth is great.

The smaller candles, I mean, they're all expensive. But the smaller candles are more affordable. And they will walk you through sort of like, what do you like and what do you not like? I found them to be very nice at the store. And put one on while you're listening to these songs. I have one question before we pop out of this. I just want to know, because somebody kind of came out at me for this the other day. Is incense trashy?

I don't care. If you like it, it's not. I don't think so. I grew up in a time when incense was the thing to do to show that A, you are an adult and that you know how to set a mood. My older siblings had incense burning constantly.

I'm not into knock-chopper, though. And it was awesome. I don't like knock-chopper. It reminds me of a very specific time in my life. Yeah, me too, my 20s. Like going to the first person that had their own crib and we're all there, we all still live at mom's. Absolutely.

Yeah, I was burning hella incense as a teen and in my first dorm room and stuff like that. Yeah, I've moved on from it, but I don't ever think of it as trashy. Me neither. I just think of it as messy and I'm lazy and don't want to clean it up, which is why I like candles because it's self-contained.

Like all the mess stays in the candle. They do have really expensive incense too. Like those cones they make like really nice. Yeah, cones. I got into. And I see cones in fancy people's houses all the time. Incense is still happening. It's still happening. Thank you guys. I got into, I'm really into. And I see cones in fancy people's houses all the time. Yeah. Incense is still happening. It's still happening.

Thank you, guys. I got into. I'm really into things that smell. I have like room sprays. I'm really into like good smelling stuff. Lysol makes a great neutralizer. Do they? Yes.

And you just spray it and it neutralizes whatever's going on. And so that's just a tip. That's just a good life advice. Then you can like resent the room. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to reset it sometimes and then fill it up with what you want it to be filled with.

Especially after cooking. After young Zach is gone. Oh, man. After cooking. Smoke the devil's weed in the living room. Oh, he does the street drug known as marijuana so much. The street drug known as marijuana. Yeah.

It's so weird. I smoke hella weed. I don't love. Get out of town. Yeah. Could you believe it? I don't love the smell of weed. Like, sometimes I'll smoke a bunch of weed in my room.

I love it. I think I don't smoke weed, but I love the smell of it. Wow, I find the smell to be oppressive. I don't want the room to smell like it. I have a balcony thing going. Oh, great. Yeah, crack the door. That is true.

I don't like it to be overbearing, but I think weed smells amazing. Wow. Maybe it's because I don't smoke it. My mom thinks beer smells good because she doesn't drink. I don't drink it either. You know what's funny? Beer smells disgusting. I just recently put this together. I like the smell of people, beer on

people's breath. Oh, that malty sort of. And it's because as a kid, I was around a lot of drunk people a lot. We were just parties at my house and shit. And adults would pick me up and throw me around and be fun and nice. And they smelled like beer. And I think I associate it to that.

It's crazy when you dive in. I love beer on people's friends. So much deep psychological shit is coming out today. Wow. Fuck jams, man. It's so interesting when you think about that stuff, what affected you, though, and how it still does, even though you're grown and you're like, this shouldn't be how I think, but you're just white.

It's white. You have nothing to do with it. It's quiet. It's like pleasant. When I'm drinking with my friends and their breath smells like beer, it makes me like, oh, we're having a good time. It's like fun. Speaking of good times. Speaking of good times.

This is awesome. I'm just having a really fun time. Oh, I thought you were going to make your pick. I am, I am. That was the preamble to his pick. Okay, I just stepped on your toes. I've been smiling for like two hours. This is so sick.

Time for my fifth pick. Indeed. And if I ever fall in love again, I will be sure that the lady is my friend. Andy! Yeah, dude. Shy. Shy acapella. Shy.

Lady is a friend, dude. That's a sexy song, man. That acapella version, I watch it. So it worked the last like three hours of my day. I get to listen to music. And I just, I listen to that song almost every day. Really? I fucking love that song. Always have. Really? I fucking love that song.

Always have. Anytime I ever, Shy comes up, it's in this room. Because don't they always start singing, don't they also start singing a different song? Well, it's. The very first time. Yeah, there you go. It's. That I saw your brown eyes.

Your lips said hello and I said hi. Oh my God, I can't believe I remembered the words Like that But I mean I do That song is sexy as hell I just So like they

You know they do the chorus Like and if But then the second time it hits Where they really Like and It's so You're just like Ooh

And that's another Where you're like I am in love with you I love you You are my friend You are my partner You are my friend. You are my partner. You are my everything. And we are a union.

We are joined right now. The worlds are colliding. It's fucking fantastic. If somebody doesn't get married off this podcast. I'm saying. We have not done our jobs. I'm saying. I think we're going to get a couple proposals after this.

I think so, dude. I'm feeling hyped. Right? What? I think we should go to the diamond store. Let's go. puzzles after this. I'm feeling hyped. What? Can't we go to the diamond store? Let's go. I listen to all

fantasy everything. Let's make it official, girl. Let's make it official. I'm going to put it on paper. I'm going to wife you. Yeah, dude, shy.

I'm going to be the Galleria in linen pants just trying to make eye contact after this. I'm going to go to that new waffle food cart and just start singing shy, dog. I hope the kids go to that new waffle food cart and just start singing Shy Dog.

I hope the kids get back into R&B groups soon. Music needs to be... I've really thought about this a lot of times. It sounds weird, but young kids need music about love. They do, man.

I grew up with rap and I love it or whatever, but hip hop really isn't that a lot it's not great and it's not like and it's like our parents and our parents generation

and shit like that they grew up where like the music was about love and it's like I used to like I went so far as when I was younger I thought love music

was corny because I was like they just make that because everybody can relate to it so easy I'd be like oh every song's about love but I was nine so what love make that because everybody can relate to it so easy. I'd be like, oh, every song's about love. But I was nine, so what?

Love is great. Yeah, it's because love is incredible. You need to hear people talking about love. We just need it. It's important. You know what I'm saying? I agree. People need to have that.

It's so important, man. It's so important to have people talking about love. True story. And like, I feel like the fall off of R&B, like, because R&B is not like in a great place. Is there? It's not in a great place. What's a current R&B? Like, what?

I mean, Miguel, Frank Ocean. Yeah, Miguel. Okay, yeah, yeah. We don't, we're those groups, man. It's, yeah, we're those groups. We don't have any silks. We don't have any shies. We don't have any fucking jagged edges or anything.

We need four people singing about being in love. B2K was a decade ago. Yeah. That's right. And I fuck with B2K. I love Omarion. The best smelling person I've ever been around was Omarion. I believe that.

It was the first time I moved to LA. I was taking classes at the Groundlings. And I walked. And I was walking by that, like, right, it's on Melrose, where they, like, it's a car customizer place. And I didn't even notice, it's on Melrose, it's a car customizer place. And I didn't even notice because my head was down. And I was walking by a group of people and I smelled somebody amazing. I was like, whoa, what is that?

Oh, Marriott. And he just smelled amazing. It was just like citrusy, light. I still remember the smell. Him and Todd Glass. Yeah, Todd Glass smells incredible. He won't tell you what it is. He won't.

He won't tell you. Todd Glass. He will not tell you what it is. He won't tell you what it is. He won't. He won't tell you. Todd Glass. He will not tell you what it is. He smells amazing. You motherfucker. It's so hard to get it out of him. Yeah. I'm like, I need that.

I was like, put me on, man. I'm a big fat guy. I want to smell like this. All I want to do is smell good. Come on, man. Everybody thinks I smell bad. He won't do it. He's like, I'm not even wearing anything.

You liar. Yeah, he won't tell you. He's a liar. He won't tell you. Yeah, he's got a custom blend. He probably does. He went into La L'm not even wearing anything. You liar. Yeah, he won't tell you. He's a liar. He won't tell you. Yeah, he's got a custom blend. He probably does. He went into La Lava and started playing jazz. It's like a pinch of this and a dash of that.

He's got like, yeah, he's got his levels. Yeah, a little CK1. No, I'm just kidding. Little Tommy girl. It's half Michael Jordan cologne. You mean rubbing alcohol? That shit smells so bad. Michael Jordan didn't even try.

No, man. He was like, whatever, man. It pays what? Yes. Yeah. Put some sandalwood in there. Fuel up the jet. We're going to Atlantic City.

Yeah. What were you going to say? You were going to say something? Let it ride. It might have passed. It might have passed. Roxanne, it's time for your final pick. My final song is This Woman's Work by Maxwell.

Oh, yeah. I can't believe it took that long to get to that. I know. He didn't even come into my mind. It's just something about his falsetto and that song, like just singing like this ode to women. And again, that's an I love you. And I am sharing this amazing, filthy, spiritual moment with you.

And like we're really having amazing sex right now. It's just... Maxwell's dope. Oh, yeah. He's got a sexy voice. Yeah, yeah. Maxwell. And it's like, he's also...

You know what his voice is to me? He's kind of vulnerable. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Like, it's very like... I'm just a man. Yeah, I'm just like... Yeah, I'm just a man. Every time I listen just like, we're just. Yeah. I'm just a man.

Every time I listen, I'm just like, yes, we have hearts. And we just feel things all the time. Oh, man. That man, Maxwell is sexy as hell. Yeah. Originally a Kate Bush song. Really? Yes.

Absolutely. And the Kate Bush version is also good. The Kate Bush version was in She's Having a Baby. Not quite as sexy as Maxwell's version. No. It's a different song in She's Having a Baby. Not quite as sexy as Maxwell's version. No. It's a different song in She's Having a Baby. It's actually

a really depressing song. But when Maxwell brings the blackness to it, it's just a different song. It's like, oh. He's like, no, no, no. It's like this. Oh.

It is like, it only takes a turn to make something sexy. Yeah. Like, you just need like that little, that little whatever turn to make something sexy. Yeah. Like, you just need, like, that little, that little whatever on it. Just a nudge. Yeah. Give me four seconds with that Rubik's Cube.

There it is. I feel like you can do anything sexy, right? Yeah. Like, even, like, I think you can do anything. You can't stir stew sexy is what we've learned. Okay, guys. Okay, guys. David.

Hang me on the cross for my sins. You scumbag. Look, you said it. You own it. I don't think, I think that's what it sounded like. Okay, guys. David. Hang me on the cross for my sins. You scumbag. Look, you said it. You own it. I don't think, I think that's what it sounded like. I support it. Oh, yeah, I support it fully. It's just so gross.

All I can say, the reason is a personal reason why it's gross to me, which is the, remember the roast joke about Matt Bronco? Mm-hmm. Yeah, where like he has- Pete Holmes said it, when Matt shakes his neck, it sounds like someone's stirring macaroni is what he said. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because he doesn't have a chin.

God. Oh, Matt doesn't have a chin. What a mean. So gorgeous. Gorgeous, charismatic man. Oh, he's so dope. Book him in the podcast with Bronger references. I didn't know. This woman's work. This woman's work.

Oh, Maxwell. That wasn't Maxwell, that was me. That was Maxwell. I've listened. Oh. That was Maxwell. That was Maxwell. Maxwell popped in for himself. I've listened to that song quite a lot. Well, we're all worked up. That was the draft.

Jeez. Now I got to go lift some free weights and scream in a pillow. Just to recap real quick, I'm going to punch a hole in my wall. What wall, dude? It's gone. I'm going to make it on Make My Bed 50 times. I'm actually going to have a drink after this is what I'm going to do. I have to.

I'm going to. I'm going to have some wine. That's a good call. Yeah. They don't know what time it is. It's a little mellow. I mean, it's 5 o'clock on the East Coast. That's exactly it.

I'm saying. 522. It's fucking 8 where the royal wedding happened. We need to get after it. They're partying. Exactly. I'm going to make an Aperol Sprint at home. You don't think they're playing some of these songs right now?

Whatever British people call drunk. Yeah, because Prince Harry looks like he's got a stroke. I think he does have a stroke. I think he does. He does look, he seems like the coolest one. Absolutely. All that time in Africa, he learned something. Oh, man.

He learned it. He really did. He's got the tribal. He really did. I mean, to go from the Nazi costume to where he is now. Yes, how to find himself. Because yesterday, to go from the Nazi costume to where he is now. Yes, how to define himself. Because yesterday I was, I don't really care that much about it, but on Twitter yesterday I said, I bet Princess Diana is very proud of her sons.

To grow up in the spotlight, but they've become good men. And a couple people were like, the Nazi costume. And I was like, yeah, it was fucking terrible. But he apologized and he's never done it again. Can we just say Twitter, He apologized and he's never done it again. Can we just say Twitter? People do bad shit sometimes. If Twitter was around when I was 20, holy fuck. Oh my God.

I've done a bunch of shit. I'm so grateful that social media did not exist. The shit that I would have said or that would have been on there about me. Without my filter of maturity, such as it is. I can't imagine. Which is not much. It's the triage level of whichever

I bet I've said fuck a hundred times already today and that's like that's my current filter yeah yeah exactly and that's what it is like my mom texts me sometimes she's like

you know Oksana I am very worried about you you need to use that four letter word and not this and I'm like nah nah

where's your mom from my parents are from Haiti okay foreign parents hate cursing. They do. My mom. I always say, stop stalking me. And they're like, no. Yeah.

My mom, back in the old Facebook days, like in the beginning of Facebook, I made a joke that had fuck in it. And my mom was straight up commented like, you know I don't like that word. But also I'm like. Don't you use it. Yeah. But I love you enough to support you. Yeah. Where also I'm like Don't you use it. Yeah. But I love you enough to support you.

Yeah. Where did I get it from? Mom. You say it sometimes. I love it for watching you okay. Yeah. Ivan Coney Island

Brooklyn Carmel was totally fine with my four little words. Ivan Coney Island Brooklyn Carmel. Rachel Brussels Belgium Carmel not as okay with it. My grandmother, yeah. That's a good name for a daughter if you have one, Brooklyn Carmel.

Brooklyn Carmel? I'm not. That's a good name. You got to let Jay-Z's kind of have that. Brooklyn Beckham, man. Yeah, Brooklyn Beckham. You're going to change the game too? That's my social circle.

I can't have two books running around. By the way, what a sweetheart David Beckham. He was a sweetheart. I don't know if you guys saw that video, but there's a video that came out last week or something of his son. I think it might be. I don't know who it was. He's got a cobble.

He's got Brooklyn on the other one. It's of his son surprising him at a restaurant. He didn't think his son was going to be there. I guess they hadn't seen each other in a bit. Yeah. And he just started crying. And you were like, what a sweet man. David Beckham is cool. He was so didn't think his son was going to be there. I guess they hadn't seen each other in a bit. Yeah. And he just started crying. And you were like, what a sweet man. You're David Beckham's son?

He was so happy to see his son. Oh, I like men crying. So I'm going to look that up. Yeah. You're going to love us. You're going to feel it. I cry. I cry.

Yeah, look me up at about midnight. We worked with David Beckham last summer and did a sketch with him and stuff. Super nice guy. Yeah, he seems like a- Just real fun down to earth. Yeah. he seems like he's like... He seems nice. And it's always refreshing because not all famous people

are nice. No. You want them to be. You always do. Every time I work with a new one, I'm like, what a bummer when that...

And I just keep it to myself because, you know, it is what it is. But I'm always like, eventually your mask is going to crack. And I look forward to that day. I'm going to be over here watching.

To recap the picks, David, you went first. This is going to be sexy. You took Proud to Be an American by Lee Greenwood. Stand on it. Forgot about that. Stand on it. Then you took Red Light Special by TLC, Freak Me by Silk, I'll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men,

and then Let's Get Married the Remix by Jagged Edge. Putting a ring on it. I went second. I took Do You by Miguel. Damn, that song is sick. Pink Matter by Andre 3000 and Frank Ocean, Crystallized by The XX, Spadiati Dope-Olicious by Outkast, and Fade Into You by Mazzy Star. Sean, you went third.

You took Lately by Tyrese. No Ordinary Love by Sade. Slow Motion by Juvie. Brown Sugar by D'Angelo in Los Angeles, like an evangelist. And then you took Lady as a Friend by Shy. Roxanne, you went last. You took Cashmere by Led Zeppelin.

This Is It by Kenny Loggins. Sound and Color by Alabama Shakes. When We by Tank, and This Woman's Work by Maxwell. That is a list. That is a list. That is a cover-to-cover list. I think between

these 20 songs, whew. If it doesn't, if you can't get laid off of these songs, you're not doing it right. then you deserve it. I like the music one

because- We have given you a bulletproof We got you ready. We need the government to distribute this to the incel community immediately. I was just thinking that.

Just airdrop this. If you don't get it done off of this. Just parachute it in. Then you're not meant to have sex. Then you're not. Then it really isn't for you. I've been thinking about these incels a lot. It's just like,

it's you that's the problem. Because it't for you. I've been thinking about these incels a lot. Yeah. It's just like, it's you that's the problem. It's you, I know. Because it's just you. It's just you. There's a part of me that as someone who was like, you know, in my late teens before I came, you know, grew into the person I was where I was definitely like frustrated with how hard it was. You know, it's like a fat kid who thought that that meant. But that's not us though. because I have the same thing.

100%. 100%. You don't realize that you're worthy of it. You think they're all women like fucking Sean Claude Van Damme or whatever the most manliest dude. If you think anything off of that, you can't get laid. It's on you. You have to realize that it's a self-worth thing, ultimately. It really is.

And for women, too, because even as a fat woman, as a teenager wasn't a fat kid but i was a fat teenager yeah and like i had very low self-esteem and i realized it's it's really about you yes like people will fuck anything yes absolutely i mean just yeah anybody can get laid there's gonna be somebody so if you can't then it is you it's you getting in your own way. It genuinely is. And it's like a hard truth, but once you confront that, you can be like, all right,

well, let me get out of my own way. Yeah, exactly. Let me find the things I love about myself. You just will catch someone who's like, yeah,

I'm actually into what you're putting down. Yeah. Because there are, and that to me, I will also say this to the fat dudes out there, just dress how you want to dress.

Yeah. For so long, I was like, I got to wear a super baggy tee. You're not hiding it. Everybody knows you're fat. Yeah, I gave that chip up a long time ago. Get you a shirt that you like. So what you say. Look at me, I'm skinny.

That don't stop me from getting busy. I'm a freak. They told us. I like the girls with the boom. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. Songs really have all the answers. They really do have all the answers. Humpty Hump gave us the way.

We left some good songs on the board. Sneaker Pimps, Six Underground. Oh, Sneaker Pimps, yeah. That was the one I left on the board. I mean, Pony, genuinely. Oh, yeah. Let's get it on. Which I almost put it,

oh, I had all of Marvin's repertoire. Yeah. But it was too easy. Love and Happiness by Al Green, kind of the same thing. Keith Swin, Nobody. Oh, Nobody. Nobody.

And Twisted. Forever My Lady. I had Forever My Lady. And I want to say I'm proud of everyone for not using R. Kelly. Yes. I'm glad that we just all recognize we can fuck without him. We can fuck without him. We don't need you, Robert. We don't need you.

I just did you, Kelly. Chet Faker has got a couple golden put you on the game which are pretty sexy cat power see a love uh also the greatest oh the greatest yeah which is i find to be a romantic song yes i almost put in a sentimental mood oh yeah song just it's just instrumental but it's sexy i love cat power so good you know what i had was i'm your baby tonight oh yeah just something about that song really whitney like giving you everything yeah it was uh that britney song slave for you i like i like that one that's a good that's a that's a good one of like but i just don't go with that well she did she's doing i

like her a lot just living her uncomplicated unbothered life it's a fun if you want a little mood boost follow britney spears on instagram to see someone who fucking got dragged through the desert by they made it and came on the other side and it's like a hat like loves the kids for a while i thought her father taking custody of her money was a bad idea but it turns out he maybe knew what was best for his kid and has she just lives her rich happy life

love it love it just making millions I read an article about how much money she still makes and from just from the whole

Vegas residency and all that all of it and I was just like alright Brittany yeah dude get it who are you

I mean after what she went through you'd go crazy, too. You don't think someone bounces back from the shaved head attack in a car kind of thing. But, like, what did she do? It's kind of a miracle that more of these kids don't. Oh, my God. I'd be dead.

The fame machine is so horribly difficult just to watch it from the outside. Having a tiny amount of writer fame, like, I can't imagine what real fame is like. It's just like, what? The panopticon effect. I'm being watched all the time everywhere I go. What the fuck? I'm in a bad mood. I'm sweating my way through this airport

right now. I have 10 minutes to make my flight. I got heartburn. I gotta take a shit. I don't want to do it on the plane. I don't want to do it here. I want to do it at home. Listen, I get it. I got heartburn. I got to take a shit. I don't want to do it on the plane. I don't want to do it here. I want to do it at home. I don't want to do it. I want to be. Listen, I get it.

I'm famous at the roost, and I'm not here stealing chicken wings. So, you know, anything can happen. Yeah, you are. That's why you took that chicken wing. Yeah. Yeah, I just wasn't ready. That was your fucking chicken wing.

Yeah, that was my, it's Britney, bitch. Shout out to everyone on Twitter. We want to hear your fuck jams as well. Send those in to us, please. Yes, please. We love it. Shout out to everyone on Instagram. Shout out to hear your fuck jams as well. Send those in to us, please. We love it. Shout out to everyone on Instagram. Shout out to, do we want to, just real quick, just like a.

Oh, you know what? I do have one. I do have one. Yeah. This guy, he sent us a message on Instagram and I haven't, I have not responded yet, but I wanted to give him a shout out on the podcast. My phone is not working the way I want it to. Yeah, it's A.Copple.

Yeah, Andy Copland. Andy Copland, hey, man. I'm so glad that we can help you through that. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry for your loss, your sister's loss. That's rough, buddy. We really appreciate you. We're glad you listened.

Thank you so much for the words. Those messages. We don't take it for granted at all well I listen and I brought it up before but like when my dad died and I tore my knee in the same month

all I did was listen to Atmosphere for like a month and it got me through it and like you need something and if this helps at all then hell yeah like and you know

just keep send those messages you know you gotta vent you gotta like deal with things and I'm just stoked we've all been there so the fact that we can help Hell yeah. Like, you know, just keep, send those messages. You know, you got to vent. You got to, like, deal with things. And I'm just stoked. We've all been there. So the fact that we can help any of you through that.

Yeah, man. I stole a chicken wing last night. Heard about that. Going through it right now. So shout out to all of you. We love you. Shout out to the subreddit. Shout out to everyone on Twitter, Instagram.

Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Bruce Willey, dude. Bruce Willey with a pilly. More important than anything, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. What's up, what's up? Oh, yeah. that was a hate gun podcast