All Fantasy Everything - Groundhog Day Days (w/ Zak Toscani, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: February 25, 2021Over and over and over and over, like a monkey with a miniature cymbal. The gang is joined by Count Zakula to draft days they'd want to get stuck in like the movie Groundhog Day.Episode Guest...:Zak Toscani IG: @zaktoscani (Banned on Twitter)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbags, watchalongs, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything
from the world of pop culture.
On today's episode, we're drafting Groundhog Day.
Because every day feels the same,
we might as well pick a day that we actually want to relive
over and over and over again.
Our guest today is stand-up comedian and friend of not only us, but of the podcast and the
entire All Family, Zach Toscani.
I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and joining me as always are my friends and comedians, Sean
Jordan and David Borey.
Hit the theme. Welcome to All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that has only not had a boner on our 17th birthday.
And we're not 17 yet, so we've always got a boner which was uh just for those listening
home was just something sean jordan said in a context wouldn't help
it normally doesn't with a conversation like that absolutely not uh here we are here we are
i'm in my bed dude are you is that your bed right now this is this is the bed dude shug night
shug night comforter look at that red why are you recording from your bed there's a plumber in the
house damn he ran you out in the basement yeah he came he kicked the door down proposed to laura
she said yes and uh much to my chagrin i've been banished to the bedroom yeah he's a union man
yeah yeah he's
got insurance and stuff i you know what do i have you're a roommate now that's what you have
as two roommates yeah she's like go upstairs and take care of the cats until they die i was like
much like val kilmer did to share you got boo food on there yeah another pre just pre-recording thing that sean told us was that uh
his queen well this is not this is inaccurate but his queen read the val kilmer book and sean told
us that val kilmer says in that book that he boo food share but immediately corrected himself that
val kilmer didn't say he boo food share he just had sex with share he did not give her a french blowjob
no well share actually another chapter is that share has two butts so there's no way to not
boo-foo her that's a whole other chapter in a book about val kilmer yeah he spends a lot it
should be about share yeah it's a lot of share anatomy yeah it's val kilmer on share we when
the power went out i can't remember if i said. When the power went out, I can't remember if I said this, when the power went out, we read to each other.
So she read me a chapter out of Val Kilmer's book and I read her.
How did that work?
Because you can't read.
We put a candle on one of those metal trays, just a tray.
It doesn't have to be metal, but a tray, and then held the book in front of the candle.
And she read, very well read a chapter out of that book to me,
and then I did my version of reading out loud to her.
Not very good, but I'm working on it.
Reading the ads in Thrasher magazine?
Yeah, just reading spy lines.
Reading the back of the boob DVD?
Two vixens.
Says here Johnny Knoxville's going to drink horse jizz.
two vixens johnny knoxville's gonna drink horse jizz you try to remember jackass movies to her and then i think i think the next one they did
there's one where simon woodstock pisses on a cop car
there's a maybe it's wait no wait wait they're in Japan. And I think the little one was dressed up as a rabbit.
No, no, that's not right.
That's not right.
Rip Torn or Rip Taylor's there.
I forget who.
There's footage of one of them, Boofoo and Sharon.
I just don't know which one.
Oh, man.
Dude, Bal Kimmerer is nuts.
I just watched the dial-in with Dr. Moreau For the first time
The 90s one with him and Marlon Brando
That has the wildest
IMDB trivia
And story behind it
Was it you sending
Marlon Brando
Was bananas on set from what I gather
He was a crazy dude
In all these movies
He was a super interesting guy
but they like they didn't get along on set so they never talked and then in the movie
val kilmer does a marlon brando impression and apparently that was not okay that was really not
okay yeah is he just like he does his voice He does him being like walking around all weird.
It was like, whoa, this is a crazy energy.
I'm a streetcar named Desire.
Dude, long story short, the director.
So the director was the one who like had the whole vision for the reboot and stuff.
He got fired after four days.
And they like people from the whatever.
I don't know. The producers had people like make sure he gets to the airport make sure he gets on the plane they dropped him off at the airport he
did not get on the plane he went into the wilderness and just lived off of weed and fruit
and then found his way back to the production and dressed up as an extra and was an extra for the rest of the movie without anyone's knowledge what's the director yeah
you must have did you tweet these or send them to us because this is all familiar to me and i know
that i think i said yeah i think i did something uh i talked about it on instagram a little bit
but it was just unbelievable i love shit like that that's amazing
you're the one who hit me so go ahead sean no you go ahead i'll fucking dude i will i've driven up
there this year i'll drive back up i'll run a dodge charger and drive through the front room
your house obviously it might have to the plumber and come up to your bedroom
you have to get past the plumber the new new man. I'll boo-foo you wearing
fooboo.
Wow, I never
knew how close those were to each other.
I always knew.
Boo-foo
through the fooboo.
Buy us, forgive us.
Oh, man. buy us forgive us oh man my dad have i ever told you guys my dad tried to cop a fubu shirt at a ross and i had to shut him down i tell you he was plowed in minneapolis downtown minneapolis first ross i
ever saw and he's that was the first ross He comes to me with this mad big
FUBU shirt and he's like, what do you think?
I was like, well, dad, couple reasons
why not.
I explained it to him.
You were wearing your Africa pendant hoodie
and you were like,
dad, dad, dad,
you can't wear that.
Crazy bald head.
You can't wear that.
Boy. crazy bald head you can't wear that but knowing your dad that was like a big moment for him if he would have worn fubu you know yeah i mean he i think he ended up getting a big dog shirt which was definitely
well yeah the move he was a big dog. He wasn't staying on the porch.
No, yeah, he ran with the big dogs.
Rarely was he on the porch. Yeah, dude.
I don't know if he was ever podcasting from the bed,
but Sean Jordan is.
Sean S. Jordan on Twitter.
Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram.
A lot of those.
Shonda Replay, dude.
Shonda Rhymes drake in that state farm
commercial drake yeah drake from state farm in bed dude you got the red you got the red uh
jake from state farm covers on you dude kill that day red kill that day red i was telling so laura's
got like red ash sheets that she'll have on sometimes and every time it happens i just call
the bed i'm like we're sleeping in shug night's bed and for some reason just rubs her the wrong way and she never
thinks it's funny like i've even broken it down i'm like suge knight well she did have that
previous relationship with suge knight so she did date suge knight for a while oh weird your wife to
be doesn't want to sleep in a bed with suge knight that's crazy what if what if your what if your girl
did say like i just letting you know that i did used to date shug night it was like 10 years ago
but i dated shug night would that matter for any of you yeah i'd be like yes i would have well i'd
have to know how they ended yeah am i break up with her? You went to prison.
That's not good.
I got to get out of here. No, that's not good enough.
No.
Especially if that's why they broke up.
Absolutely not.
I'm not the next guy after Suge Knight for so many reasons.
You're the flex guy after Suge Knight.
You're the one she loves.
He comes over to beat you up and you're like making an omelet.
Hey, good to see you
good morning goat cheese and cow cheese i hope that's not weird for you
they're sparkling they're still whatever you need pal whatever you need buddy yeah
no i'm not are you gonna put some probudo in the samba is that cool
no i'm not dating a woman after she dated chick my do you want a house fubu shirt
everyone in the house has to wear you got some slides and a fubu shirt for you we just don't
want to bring the outside in you know the only thing my father left to me it is interesting
of laura to go with those blood red sheets though it does you make
your bed look a little bit like a 90s r&b like like a maxwell video a little bit yeah yeah i've
said about everything you can say about it like it makes me think that kelly roland has sat on
those sheets and excel sheet texted somebody oh we didn't know the technologies what do you what is where do they are they comfortable are
they silk damn near uh they're comfy yeah yeah dude i bought some pillowcases very recently
for the long hair it's wonderful oh yeah and then i bought a duvet and a new duvet cover and the duvet cover
is burnt orange umber they call it it's a burnt umber yeah yeah there it is i'm making moves on
the bed front what color are the pillowcases pillowcases are great they like don't i had to
kind of cram fucking cram a pillow in the case and zip it shut but man sleeping just because it
doesn't give as much friction so my
hair isn't all like out of fucking whack when i wake up which is nice i love that you're a hair
guy now yeah i need something to focus on it's like my bonsai tree you know every morning i just
trim like two or three go about my day i had to become a i had to become a bandana guy i love it hey i can't
because i can't become tennis head headband guy that's you you got that on lockdown but there's
too much hair it gets into my fucking face when i go out when i go out and get active yeah yeah
i'm saying though you're not gonna cut it right no i don't think i'm gonna cut it no don't cut
oh yeah don't if i hit it with the hairspray it goes up though which i
kind of like i look a little bit like barton fink like a little hairspray oh yeah okay yeah okay
like a tutoro it becomes very tutoro when i hairspray i got hairspray dude you have hairspray
yeah it's igk brand too which are my initials oh i thought really yeah i thought you said ugk it's usually it's also it's a food
i'm gonna start calling you ian gun kelly what do you think about that i don't like that
you know what here here you go i like his new song or his maybe it's not new
ian gun kelly does that work i don't like any iteration of gun kelly have you heard his song it's kind of like a punk rock song no he has one song that i do like with
mcconin or no that's a little that's a little peep i take that back i don't i don't have a
mgk song i like i was talking about a little peep i'm sorry i don't wish machine gun kelly
any sort of specific ill but i don't i don't care to cross paths with him at any point i don't want his music entering my life i don't
want my comedy entering his life i did like i would just prefer to be in different oceans than
machine gun kelly but did you see him star in the hit movie the dirt i did not i did not
until they cashed on doing the dirt no i haven't seen the dirt it's i could not finish it
i think we were talking about this the other day it was like we were just talking about
45 minutes in i was like this is just it's not even like
it was just all insanity so it didn't seem crazy anymore after 45 minutes because there wasn't any
like well this is
because they're actual human beings this is other stuff they had to deal with well how do you think
motley crew feels that was their life zach didn't they produce it i mean it's still a movie well
it's pretty accurate from what i read and if i read the book i actually read the dirt oh man did
they write that book they they would have you believe they wrote it,
but I don't. I think it was...
Is that a ghostwriter?
I'd love to imagine you just at
the midnight screening of the dirt
at the movie theater and talking to the kids like,
it's actually very accurate to what the book was.
It looks true to the text,
gentlemen.
And he actually did Boofoo Cher, so that's
in the movie.
Since you bring that up, when we went to Predator
and we were talking about how funny it would be if Ian
just walked in in his full Predator
garb and just sat in the
front and was elbowing people like
you pretty Predator head or what.
You excited? I think about that
more than you think.
Yeah, you pretty excited for Predator?
I'm Predator to the bone, boy.
For me, this is an ongoing relationship.
Yeah, yeah.
What do you think?
I'm not in the AVP camp.
I'm Predator, for sure.
You think we're going to get more Predator backstory?
Did you guys see that one with the pianist when he was in Predator?
I don't need the pianist
in predator you know i'm talking about i can't believe the snack bar didn't hook up some kind
of predator promotion that's crazy it's right there like green butter on your popcorn or something
calamari you know just something that makes sense for the predator heads
yeah you know it's that kind of podcast You know, it's that kind of podcast.
Calamari popcorn.
It's that kind of podcast.
Yeah.
I would do that.
I would eat calamari mixed with popcorn.
So would I.
A hundred percent.
And then there's like a hot marinara.
You can dump on it.
Ooh.
Yeah.
That sounds really good.
I love a good fucking Italian calamari.
Mm-hmm.
I want the Italian-American calamari. Give me that deep-fried shit. I don't want the, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, calamari i want the italian american calamari give me that
deep fried shit i don't want that you know what i mean yeah yeah you don't want the pan fried
i like the pan fried i will absolutely eat the pan fried but give me the give me the fucking like
pretend we're in rhode island kind of shit that's what i want yeah yeah i got you i want a maritime
italian american community deep frying squid and giving it to me with a side of like spicy marinara
yeah i get you oh it sounds so gross okay you're a maniac shut up dude have you tried calamari i
did try calamari in minneapolis one time i remember vividly i bet you if i gave you some calamari and
you i said it was a new type of fucking boneless chicken wing. You would cram that shit.
Yeah, dude.
I bet you would cram that shit.
An ice cold beer, dude.
What if we were in San Francisco?
Ice cold anchor steam beer.
Yes.
Plate of fuck.
We're in North Beach.
Big plate of fucking deep fried calamari with a spicy marinara.
Sea breeze just nipping at your nose.
It's 61 degrees out, dude.
I'll see you guys at Milk Bar after your shitty seafood.
You have a windbreaker on.
Does that change things?
You have a windbreaker.
That changes a lot of things.
I'll see you guys at Alcatraz.
I'm going on the tour.
It says security on the back for some reason.
Yeah, but you're not security.
I'm one of those guys.
It says FBI on the back, but female butt inspector on the front.
No, funny butt inspector.
I know you're bethroved.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a funny butt inspector.
I heard Val Kilmer did a funny butt inspection one time.
That was a boo-foo and you know it.
That would be, hey, you want to go upstairs and do a funny butt inspection?
Or downstairs, I don't care.
Is that not what Emil is?
You want to go back to my room and do a funny butt inspection?
Excuse me, I have to leave dinner early.
It's my birthday, so she's's probably gonna let me do a funny butt
inspection and then i go last night well the butt inspection was hilarious if you want to know i'll
tell you oh my goodness honestly i think they're gonna take the the case back to trial it was a
funny butt inspection it's kind of mistrial because of the funny butt inspection uh john what do you
got going okay is there anything you want to point people towards when what's when are we gonna get
it's something dank that i'm stoked about dude i'm putting the pressure on
you on air i was i was actually gonna email marissa later today and he was on ask him ask
some stuff about it so uh yeah uh i'll tell you what i'll tell you we point people towards
the mortal combat trailer yes i'm in i haven't watched it yet is it that good it makes me feel like the most
woke bro-ish i've ever felt in my life because i you know we refer to ourselves as sort of woke
bros mortal combat woke no but like we you know like i'm a bro but i'm not an asshole if you know
we've i said i said i see and it just makes me feel so much like a bro when i watch i'm just
like oh voice of zero's going to kill people.
Dude, yeah.
I remember I was talking about this last night with my roommate and her friend.
That when the, what was it, 95 Mortal Kombat came out.
I saw that in theaters so many times.
And I remember going ape shit in the theater.
Like not even sitting down, just running around and kicking and shit.
You would do that movie.
And then for girls, was spice world but you got people got up and like the spice world dance it became a mortal
combat you were just like get over here like in the middle of the theater when you're like
sour patch kids get over here yeah you leave you leave the theater and you're like i know somebody
can make fire with their hands i know it that's the vibe you get when you left theater and you're like, I know somebody can make fire with their hands.
I know it.
That's the vibe you get when you left that movie.
You're like, it has somewhere.
I don't know about it, but somewhere. When that fucking song hit, oh my God,
it was like cocaine for children.
I was nine years old when I saw that movie
and I had to leave the theater because Goro was so scary.
Oh yeah, dude.
He was terrifying.
I love a little tiny Ian being scared of Goro.
I was like, no.
This isn't as a queer film as I was promised.
Like your three-piece suit on.
I feel a queer panic overtaking me.
Mother, Goro has a queer amount of arms.
You have a little carnation.
No, indeed. No, indeed. Mother Goro has a queer amount of arms You have a little carnation No indeed No indeed
You just grab another kid
Like a strange other kid and you're like we should leave
Like you're doing him a favor
Agreed
If they don't have
The fucking original theme song and the new one
That's a huge missed opportunity
They have to right It wasn't in the new one that's a huge missed opportunity huge they
have to right it wasn't in the trailer oh check this out someone on twitter they said you know
who plays uh god i want to say shang tsung in the new mortal combat wow sophia vergara oh
we're gonna need a tight,
tight bustle on you.
That's where Lau's been.
Filming the new Mortal Kombat.
We finally found Lau.
He's been on the set of Mortal Kombat.
I would love it if Batman shows up in the middle of the movie and he's like,
there's Lau.
There you are.
There's Lau.
He just comes in and says,
get over here a little bit lower.
Get over here.
Scorpion starts crying.
Yeah, I have visceral memories of playing that game, too,
because I would go over to a friend's house in Hawaii,
and his dad did not like white people,
so any time his dad came home, I had to hide in the closet,
and it was...
You had to play as Johnny Cage and just let you had to play as johnny cage and just
like any of them you weren't allowed to touch the controller
i just press no buttons
dude jack's in the trailer they show sub-zero freeze his arms off it looks gnarly yeah dude
i gotta see this fucking trailer it's a great trailer all i saw today was the fucking ted
cruise thing pretty silly oh he's in mortal combat too he's in more he is that's why it
takes place in cancun is what not a lot of people know he's in it yeah he gets pretty far
by filibustering that's why that's what
he cut his hair for was for the filming you know what i watched last night that was really good
was on on apple plus which i know is one of the also rams of streaming platforms but wolf walkers
which is a animated movie made by your people sean the irish uh i believe they started they must have started production in the 70s for
god damn potato flingers figured something out i like it it is a whiskey stained potato uh no it's
really really good it's like it's ira i think it was made by actual irish people dude so you'll
really like it but like it's an irish story it's animated it's beautiful you should watch it apple
plus if you don't have it i will share my password with those of you in here but it's right i watch
whatever i watch shrek you'd be sure to tell watch your ass yeah i'm getting seasick watching your
ass yeah dude you gotta watch your ass after that ass inspection yeah that funny button funny
button inspection my sean jordan impression right now how do you like it how do you like getting ass after that ass inspection. Yeah, that funny butt inspection.
That's my Sean Jordan impression right now. How do you like it?
How do you like getting fucking stuck to the wall, dude?
How do you like that?
To the listeners at home,
I was... From the window to the wall.
Ah, skeet skeet.
David Borey is here.
CoolGuyJoke77 on Instagram.
The G is silent on Twitter.
How are you, buddy? Back in LA for this recording.
Back in la-la land.
I'm doing good, man.
I'm just hanging in there.
You know what I mean?
City of stars, dude.
City of stars, loud and proud.
City of SARS right now.
City of SARS.
Yeah.
Tall as I can be.
Yeah, I'm good, man.
You know, I don't have anything to promote.
Oh, no.
I'm filming something as we speak that'll be out in a couple of months.
Mortal Kombat 2.
Mortal Kombat.
Yeah.
Turn around.
I'm Jax's brother, Blacks.
Blacks.
Blacks, a Blacker Jax.
Yeah.
Same shit, but it's my feet.
I just break my foot off in people's asses.
The least funny butt inspection.
Kick them across the screen.
I'm just doing 10 minutes before the fight starts.
You at the Mortal Kombat.
Are you sure you want a comedian to open this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, I don't have any material about this.
None of you love it.
Just, you know, it's Minecraft.
They're cool.
Yeah, they're cool.
They're cool.
Oh, mention Kyle.
He's like kind of the one that we all make fun of here.
Oh, no, no microphone.
Mortal corporate.
You brought him up.
Oh, mortal corporate.
Oh, that's so funny.
Oh, they all do feel like that.
Roast our boss.
Mortal corporate.
Finish him.
Tommy.
Cicely.
Her paws are real dickhead.
Mortal corporate.
Oh, man. Silly boys.
Janine's an alcoholic who won't stop stealing from
petty cats, right?
Or Sean, Big Wave Dave, you could do
moral combat.
Just tell stories from the Bible.
That's what the Bible is, do moral combat yeah just tell stories from the bible that's what the bible is is moral combat so yeah watch out for that watch out for me watch out for leviticus watch out for
me and leviticus he's he's the guy who cuts my hair he's a pretty cool dude he's dominican but
i don't hold that against him uh zach discontani is here yo suspended from twitter zach tuscani on instagram yeah i'm only allowed
on one platform i was getting too powerful free the tuscan blacklisted free tuscani dude
you're really kicked off twitter huh i don't know They haven't responded to my... Well, I filed an appeal from my lawyer's advice
and I haven't heard back.
I'm his lawyer. Mike Malloy
said he had his best people working on it.
I'm surprised that hasn't
been cleared up yet. Oh, the dudes down at Dunkin'
Donuts? All the female bartenders
are
doing their best.
I got my lawyer Blacker Jacks on it.
Best beat in the game.
Coldest beat in the game.
You do not want to hear from Leviticus, my lawyer.
It is fucking over.
Salino and Leviticus, dude?
Yeah.
I will tell you, it's been nice not going to check it just because it's like been taken out of
my hands.
I'm like,
Oh wow.
Yeah.
Like day to day.
I just don't really stress about it as much.
There's nothing on there.
There's nothing on there that any of us need to be reading right now.
But I never seen,
I feel like I would have seen the moral combat trailer though.
If I was on there. Now that's a good point.'s true so i gotta do my own outside me and sean have to start
like a pen pal program he just sends me what's hot from twitter i'm the wrong guy for that it's
gonna be a bunch of people talking about bufu and share yeah i'll tell you misremembered anecdotes about val kilmer hashtag boopoo and chair hashtag
pop dogs for candace that's gonna be the new level of our patreon is sean will write you a
letter with misremembered recollections of val kilmer's career that would be something funny like
i'll just give you a fact that's not true so not really a fact
for 50 a month you went to to the Sean Jordan pen pal program.
It's just going to be him like, did you know that Richard Pryor
boo-food the Monopoly man?
Yeah, they're all going to be about.
It's all boo-food.
It's boo-food trivia.
Yeah, all about boo-food though.
They call it Popeye's chicken because the first guy to eat it
was getting boo-food at the time.
Yeah.
His eyes popped. He said, wow, that's a spicy pie. eyes chicken because the first guy to eat it was getting boo food at the time yeah there's ice pop
he said wow that's a spicy guy he was like oh that chicken for popeyes
what have you been up to lately man what do you what do you got what do you got to tell the people
about i've been i've been existing i've been hanging out i was was in Denver for about 10 days.
Got to hang out with David.
Went to a fucking cabin.
That was great.
It looked beautiful.
It was very beautiful.
I made a big faux pas with the host, but it was fine.
Did you not bring a bottle of red wine?
No.
No, it was so funny.
You can tell them about it.
Was your butt inspection not funny enough?
Well, we had been talking. We got tell them about it. Was your butt inspection not funny enough? It was.
Well, we had been talking.
We got there, I don't know, early afternoon.
And we had been talking all night.
And at this point, it's like, I don't know, 10, 11 at night.
And somehow I got on the topic of pet peeves.
And I was like, so I just started going off.
And then I was like, you know, I really don't like when people like after someone dies like
after grandma dies they're like i see ladybugs every time i think of her i see ladybugs and i'm
like i don't if there's a ladybug in the winter i'll believe it otherwise that's so fucking stupid
and he was going in i was going hard and the lady the host taylor who was having us was laughing so hard and she just showed
me her hand and she had a ladybug tattoo that she got for her grandma you have to be kidding yes
yes with her sister right her sister had it oh it was so funny you put both your feet in your mouth. Zach was like, well, fuck me.
You want to sleep outside?
Yeah, I was like, I'll just go sleep outside in the snow.
It's fine.
Oh, it was so funny. He sat in the frozen lake like, ah!
I deserve this!
Man.
She took it well, though.
I mean, she was cracking up.
Everyone handled it really well, and David nailed it.
He was like, sometimes it's just as funny as when everything goes exactly wrong yeah yeah because
he was building it up he was so mad he was like it's fucking sick she had a ladybug you think you
like saw the ladybug tattoo and on some subconscious level you put two and two together
and started just started talking
god i hope that's not true because what does that say about me my subconscious is like burn it down
i just want to ruin something beautiful yeah oh man yeah it's really funny but we got invited to
i got invited to dinner at their place later so it's okay we're good there you go you're good you're good yeah yeah oh we saw a bald eagle i never told anybody oh yeah on the pocket
we saw a bald eagle like in like downtown denver i just pull my shirt up and there's a full bald
eagle tat my dad you guys saw it again every time you see a bald eagle every time i see somebody
like a large man in fubu though i do think of your dad
yeah i've seen some bald eagles at the oregon coast i feel like wow yeah i'd never seen one
like outside of a zoo before and it was crazy it was pretty high up but from further away they're
even more stark just like the bright white head and then like yeah basically like a dark brown
body it was crazy time a little maga hat yeah yeah every time i see a bald eagle with a fifth of jack i'm like that's sean's dad
there he is tiny little that would be if you took like a bald eagle for your dead relative that's a
bold move like yeah just you know every time i see a bald eagle i think that's what i'm saying
some people have to pick some better it's always always just bugs. Now I'm going to get going again.
I can't do that.
You're revving him up.
Every time I see Forrest Whitaker, dude, I know that's my grandpa.
He loved The Last King of Scotland.
He's a big Ghost Dog fan.
Every time I see Forrest Whitaker in a Best Buy parking parking lot i know that's my cousin oh you did
see him in the best by parking lot yes i did dude having a great time having you bought the tv i've
never seen anyone have have a good time in a best by parking yes just him and the geek squad man
yeah tighten it up i love these geeks was it that HDMI cable? All right.
I should call you guys the joke squad.
You guys are funny.
I'm Ian Carmel.
Add Ian Carmel on Twitter.
Add Ian Carmel on Instagram.
Add Ian Carmel on Jewish.
Oh, I know.
I did this last week.
I'm doing it again.
I'm still on Jewish Strava app, dude.
Bike riding, dude.
Riding bikes.
Did a 15 miler a couple days ago.
Damn.
Rode around the zoo. Griffith Park. Like, rode past the zoo griffith park like road past the zoo the old zoo hit 30 miles an hour on my bike damn was there animals in the zoo is there
is there a zoo in l.a ian was going there to protest zoos and he didn't know that it wasn't
wait you're talking about a zoo that actually i thought the one in griffith was uh no longer
functioning no it's still there's still an active zoo there. There's an old one and there's an active one.
Yeah.
Well, you learn something new every day.
Yeah.
I went in there to kill and eat a penguin and I succeeded.
I think it's Eric DeDorian has a joke where he goes, you know, if you cut a penguin, it's just more penguin.
And it just always struck me as so funny because he's like, I always thought it was like an eraser or something.
It's so funny because he's like i always thought it was like an eraser or something it's so funny when he that's hilarious that is hilarious so funny i'm sorry if it's not
eric but somebody whoever has that joke is just so i've never have thought about that but you're
like do they have guts or is it just solid penguin i think it's probably just solid penguin all the
way through it looked like they're made of neoprene yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, they look like peeps to me.
Yeah. I just want to bite them.
I know.
I've never been able to, I never got to touch one, but I can't imagine what it would feel
like.
They're covered in feathers, by the way.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
They look very little feathers.
Well, now we're talking about Ian's jeans fit.
Yeah.
Whoa.
That's why I ride my bike.
It's like, yeah, yeah.
I feel like the wind man
you're rocking those zoltan jeans yeah denim's chapter one of that story but
this is this is a long book denim feathers beadwork turquoise all right oh my god i don't
think i could i would lose my mind if i saw someone wear beaded pants i don't think i could i would lose my mind if i saw someone wear beaded pants
i don't think i could i don't want my nuts rubbing against beads all day i'm just don't get my don't
don't fucking play my game dude yeah dude don't pierce your jeans i guess don't get don't pierce
i got jean piercing i smudge my jeans every morning dude i take them out
i'm really into jean piercing.
My jeans been on Ash Wednesday, dude.
All the time.
You just get a big hoop.
You just get big, like Jennifer Lopez hoops.
My jeans spend a week in Taos, New Mexico without me.
A guy comes and picks them up on a motorcycle.
They ride bitch on a motorcycle to Taos, spend a week there, and then come back changed.
Did you guys ever- So no, I don don't wash them that's how they get cleaned adam reminded me of this did you guys ever call the back seats of cars left and right nut yeah my voice cracked
did you ever call like left nut right nut no because you call it when you're calling you
call shotgun and then somebody calls left nut and right nut yeah because if not you have to sit lucky pierre we used to call it the hurt locker too in the middle lucky pierre yeah was the middle
yeah was that did anyone else have that no that's beautiful though absolutely not that's awesome
there must have been a dude named lucky pierre oh weird was he a bank robber in the 20s and that's
where he would get in the getaway?
I had no idea. I think there was
an amorous French pervert named
Lucky Pierre
who always tried to sit in the middle so
he could be touching as many people as possible
and every time he got back there, he was like,
oh, Lucky Pierre.
He put his hands on the
knees of the people to the left and right.
Oh, like he was calling him, like his name was Pierre,
but he'd be like, Lucky Pierre.
Oh, Lucky Pierre.
I am the meat of the croque-monceau.
Oh, man, that's so funny.
That's what I think.
I think that's the backstory of the Lucky Pierre journey.
I never even thought about it.
I guess I never really thought about it that deep.
I am, watch me on the Late Late Show.
I will be back on air
by the time this happens listen to all fantasy everything uh join me on riding bikes and shit
like that also i've been reading hella books lately and if you want to join me by by now i
will probably be done with uh with uh uh slouching towards bethlehem by Joan Didion, which I'm really loving so far. I just finished the remains of the day by Kazuro Ishigawa,
which is fucking great.
And,
uh,
yeah,
I read welcome to the goon squad.
Jennifer Egan,
check that out.
Just I'm tossing out book recommendations.
Willy nilly,
a secret history by,
uh,
the author.
I forget her name right now,
but she was great too.
There's an iBook that you should read and it's called the dirt.
It's on Netflix. I'm appalled an ibook oh you meant e-y-e book ibook oh yeah not an internet
book an ibook why do you think you read how do you think you read what part of your body
sign language dude would you also proceed with your eyes he gives it to laura and laura reads it
oh man yeah i didn't think it all the way through a lot of these jokes i don't i just you know i
thought you meant i thought you were giving me a kindle wreck no no i didn't do kindles then my
last recommendation homegoing by yagyasi which is fucking great which is really good but yeah
read books with me i'll tweet about what book i'm going to read and if you want to join in we can talk about it uh and that goes for all of you as well well
i'm fucked anyways today we are gathered here now for me to sell just sort of lightly flex
kind of humble brag about how many books i've been reading during pandemic but also
to fantasy draft groundhog day days now to explain that it is days from our lives that we would like
to go back and repeat over and over and over
again if we had to pick a day to do that.
Much like the movie Groundhog's Day.
Also like the movie Palm Springs.
Live, Die, Repeat.
You know, which went a movie by
many names.
Edge of Tomorrow. Did all of us, Ian and I, I know
watched Groundhog Day on Groundhog Day this year.
Did either one of you? I think
I watched it maybe a day before or a day after.
I was tweeting that.
I was texting Zach just quotes from it.
Oh, that's right.
It's a funny movie, though.
I had to rewind the part.
Zach pointed out to me how funny the line is from Ned
when he goes,
Ned, dated your sister for a little while
until you told me not to.
Dated your sister Nancy Pat
until you told me not to. Got shing sister Nancy Pat until you told me not to.
Got shingles real bad.
I'm picturing Bill Murray's character
being like,
don't date her anymore.
Yeah.
It just is such a dry tone
and him being like,
all right.
Now, the way we determine
the order of the draft
is through a rollicking game
of rock, paper, scissors.
Play between the three of you.
We throw on shoot.
Here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Zach wins. Zach throws the scissors to both of you on rock. You guys double up, scissors, shoot. Zach wins.
Zach throws the scissors to both of your rocks.
You guys double up, which means Zach is the winner.
Now, Zach, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors,
it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft.
But before you do that, I will remind you,
it is a serpentine draft.
And what is that?
That's a great question.
Have any of you gentlemen ever played the game Dig Dug?
David, don't act like you're not paying attention.
All right.
Have you ever played Dig Dug?
Are you talking? You know, I'm aware of it. Talking about the Atari Dig Dug? David, don't act like you're not paying attention. Have you ever played Dig Dug? Are you talking?
You know, I'm aware of it.
Talking about the Atari game?
I think it was Nintendo.
But anyway, you dig.
So the point is you have to evade these, I don't know, creatures that are trying to get you.
And you want to get rocks to fall on them.
So what you do is you dig all the way down.
So you're at the bottom of the screen.
And then you dig kind of right to left and get them following you. then you go up a little bit and then you dig left to right and
then up a little bit and right to left and you just kind of dig in sort of a serpentine motion
and they follow you the whole time and then you get up to the top and then you dig left to right
and then the ground is so thin that a rock then falls and kills this thing that was following you the rock or a rock god if i knew how to
program i'd go put the rock space iraq is it next to iran iraq iran i married huh that's a joke from
saved uh from married with children that i've remembered for decades for some reason
basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now Zach, with that in mind, what will
the order of today's draft be?
I am going to go exactly
with what Zoom has presented to me.
That means David goes first,
I go second,
Sean goes third, Ian
goes fourth. Hot
corner.
I kind of like Sean Goh as a name. Will you start
calling me Shongo?
Shongo.
Probably not.
All right.
Will you guys call me Thrasher?
Will you call me Thrasher?
Yeah.
I'll call you Thrasher.
Thrasher or Thrasher?
Thrasher.
Or Thursher.
Like a wheat Thrasher?
Or like a Thrasher shark?
Like a machine?
Thursher.
Got the kickflip.
Make your booty go crack.
Thursher. No. No. a wheat like a machine thurshire got the kickflip make your booty go crack no no no i won't call you that now i was gonna i'm not gonna do that got a candle going
oh what flavor oregon homesick oregon homesick it does it does not there's these brands of like
homesick candles that are like it's it's like.
Does it smell like when I barfed all over?
I was visiting.
No, it doesn't smell like Austin.
It smells like your apartment on.
What was it?
Ash on ash.
Yeah.
It smells like Shane using my fucking body wash and then lying about it.
Just like when Kelly LeBrock comes out of the weird science bathroom.
That's what it was like when Shane came out of that bathroom. With like Taking Back Sunday just blaring on absolute 10.
Taking Back Sunday from the bathroom speakers and then explosions coming from his bedroom speakers.
He'd just be typing up like Carmel's Corner or something.
He'd be typing up Carmel's Corner and he's like, just so, so low.
He'd be like, it smells like my body wash.
Wouldn't even look at me?
I knew he was using it because he didn't have any in there.
And I knew that
because I was also taking showers.
Adam busted me.
I didn't have body wash for like a year.
And Adam finally was like,
what do you do when you're in the shower?
I was like, I get wet.
He's like, that doesn't clean you.
He's like, that doesn't clean you.
And I was like, that doesn't clean you. He's like, that doesn't clean you. And I was like,
my God,
I get wet.
Oh boy.
Oh my goodness.
Well,
we're going to get to that first pick in this draft,
which belongs to David Borey right after this short break.
This episode of all fantasy.
Everything is brought to you by Babel.
If you want to learn a new language,
the best way is to uproot your entire life.
You drop everything you're doing,
just go to a brand new country,
you figure it out from there.
But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right?
You're not Jason Bourne.
You can't do that.
Two Damon movies, I'm out here.
Obviously, you're not ready for that,
but you still want to learn a new language
because everyone in the world knows new languages.
They know multiple languages,
and we all only know one. Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to help you the
quickest way possible. You speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel. It's science-backed
language learning app and it's going to get you talking fast. It's science-backed. What else do
you want? Wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors. That's the old school way to learn a new language. Babbel, they have these 10-minute lessons. They're quick.
They're handcrafted by over 200 language experts. And they're ready to get you talking in three
weeks, ready to get you speaking a new language. I should say speaking a new language. You don't
talk a language. Anyway, talking is the key to really knowing any language. You have to,
you got to do it. You got
to be saying it out loud. And Babbel, they have tools. They have tools on the app where you can
speak the language. They'll help you with your accent. There's things where on the app, they
will talk to you and then you can decipher what they said. It's all the real world applications
that you're going to need to actually use it. Babbel's tips and
tools, like I said, they're grounded in real life situations. Everything's focused on conversation.
So you're going to be ready to talk everywhere you go because that's the key, conversation.
You want to know how to get by, right? And like I said, little 10-minute segments,
they're perfect for, say, someone like myself, don't have a huge attention span. 10 minutes,
in and out, boom, you're done. And don't just have a huge attention span, 10 minutes in and out,
boom, you're done. And don't just try a word for word. Studies from Yale,
Michigan State University, shout out old ladies, alma mater, and beyond, they prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college,
which, come on, that's a no-brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there.
And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60%
off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy.
Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L
dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply.
This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought
to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about
some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten
their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age.
That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life
insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you
can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at
just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid
unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's my wife did everything, but
it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like
researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and
say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do
it. With life insurance, obviously you want to be a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start?
You know what I mean?
I have no idea what to do, where to look.
Nobody does.
And that's what Policy Genius does.
They just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes for you.
They just go to all the nation's top insurers.
And then they give you your best options.
They're just a few clicks.
And then you're going to find your lowest price.
And their expert license support team is your advocate. They work for you. They're not getting
bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not
out there being smarmy. They just want to help you out. They're answering the questions,
handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you.
And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about, but you're just going to stick people
with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that.
You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what
I spent money on. Probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an
insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have
thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits
of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah,
I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with PolicyGenius. Head to PolicyGenius.com
or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you
could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by
Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard
a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought
to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could. Let me just
take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up.
It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice?
And it's going to do it all day long.
It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind.
It might sound like a magic pill.
I know I said it before, but I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless.
It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done.
You know, there's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35.
They're products.
They're backed by science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days.
And you don't get the hallucinogenic effects.
I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this.
But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton.
And they also want to make it accessible for everyone.
Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business. No one's going to be in
your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice little box. And it comes with
a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this.
You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it.
I don't think you're going to be disappointed.
I strongly advise you give it a shot.
And if you do, you get 15% off with code all fantasy at schedule 35.co.
That's 15% off at schedule 35.co and use promo code all fantasy.
Yeah, we're back.
Welcome back to all fantasy.
Everything.
The only podcast that has ever existed.
The only form of media that has ever existed.
If you've enjoyed something that wasn't staring into the heavens and contemplating God, it was All Fantasy Everything.
Now, we are back in the Groundhog's Day draft.
David Borey, you have the first pick.
You have the first pick.
My first pick, I'm going to go to New Orleans, Louisiana, circa 2019,
and I'm going to do the day I recorded my special.
Oh, shit.
Because it's in a beautiful city.
I had a bunch of my loved ones who were flown in.
There was a bunch of other people that I know just in town for it,
and then I could just keep redoing my special and do weird shit who knows maybe one
day i shit take come out step come out take a shit on stage and then that's the that's the last day
you know what you know what i heard that's basically what you did it's not what you heard
that's what i heard dude it's not i heard that's exactly what i heard my neighbor told me
that's what he turned that's what you hoped i was
bummed i was real bummed i didn't go i i couldn't bring myself to call in sick to this job that now
i look back and i'm like what would i rather have the memory of going into abc mouse that day or
going to new orleans what would have been the first time in my life and watching it was dope
brother record his hour it was like it was dope but also it's just like so many variables that like i could really fuck
around with if i had to do the day over and over like i just interacted with a lot of different
people oh my god there were a ton of different people in town you're in new orleans pre-pandemic
we were on bourbon street that night i took ass like there was just
like so much going on like you stopped you stopped your sentence so it's acid but you originally said
i took ass and then you just kept oh i also i also got some ass but like there's like so much
giving ass he took the ass there's like so much like yeah it just was like i could really make
some moves if i had to do that day a bunch of times.
Yeah, that I think is a pivotal element of having a good Groundhog's Day is all the different variables.
All the different things.
For sure.
Yeah.
What time of year was it?
Was it like May?
It was a little earlier than that because I remember I was wearing a windbreaker.
I think it was like February or March.
Were you the Voice yet?
But in Louisiana.
No.
Was I The Voice?
We all called you The Voice.
But were you The Voice of Comedy Central yet?
No, I was not The Voice.
It was right before.
Yeah, it was right before.
Because I did announce my own special.
But it wasn't until.
Yeah, I wasn't The Voice.
But I had a little bit of money.
It was just like, yeah, I had enough to like,
I could really do anything from that jumping off point there was acid on hand so you could have a day where you take that right off
the bat yeah i could have hit up my man max ripple early in the morning it could have been like ripple
give it to me well especially with your car i mean you could be there for so long that you meet
every single person in the audience and get to know them so that when you do yours, you could just know point specifically out to people.
I could do a crowd work set.
Yes.
And just destroy.
That's the other thing.
Let's say I'm in this fucking loop for a hundred years.
My set's going to be nuts.
No matter what happens,
you ever inherit your brother's gray parrot.
And then,
uh, crazy secrets about your brother. It parrot and then you start telling him crazy secrets
about your brother and it turns out
he was the one who assassinated Kennedy?
This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Exactly.
And then he just starts weeping.
Are you about to divorce your wife?
How long are we in these Groundhog Day?
Can we just kind of pick?
I was thinking of it as long as you want to stay.
Right?
You got to get Andy McDowell to fall in love with you.
Yeah, shit.
You got to figure out how to meet Andy McDowell.
Yeah, I'm not sure where she was that day, but I'll find her.
Yeah, because also, I woke up really early that day, too.
So I could wake up and fly to New York to seduce her wherever I got to go.
Oh, yeah.
Come back, burn down the set take acid you could learn every did you record first or second
your night ah shit i was second i was second oh man because it'd be very funny whoever was no no
i was first i was first who was the second comedian charles gould it would be very funny. Whoever was the second. No, no, no, no. I was first. I was first. Who was the second comedian?
Charles Gould.
It would be very, who's Charles?
I don't know.
Okay, cool.
It'd be very funny to learn his whole set and then do it.
At the first?
Oh, that's so funny.
I've always wanted to do that.
Yeah.
I've always wanted to take the next comedian set. And I never felt comfortable with anyone, comfortable enough to to do that. Yeah. I've always wanted to take the next comedian set.
And I never felt comfortable with anyone,
comfortable enough to actually do that.
Someone did it to you, Sean.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, we ain't going to air anybody out.
I had this bit about strip clubs,
and he said exactly what I say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not a groundbreaking bit,
but the verbiage was exact.
And nobody laughed.
Nice eight-ball leather jacket, gentlemen.
Yeah, whatever.
It was like, word for word.
We should take him out right now and beat his ass.
There's no way he did it on purpose.
Take him to Brick City.
Of course he did it on purpose.
He did your bit.
Come on, man.
I can't believe he did it on purpose.
I just can't.
Man, we need to.
I'm telling you, we need to not let that shit slide.
Anyway.
Anyways.
I want to bring up how we've been
reading packets for the late late show and i just got a packet that had an entire idea based off of
one of my tweets using the exact language of my tweet it was for movie posters based on it was
like movies based on news events and it was like we would make the poster up and everything and i had this tweet last summer about like there was this like couple who like got into
a car accident and then got engaged or whatever and i did this tweet like jim carrey and whatever
like isla fisher are blah blah blah and it was that exact language in the packet and the rest
of the packet was like funny and good and i read it and i was just like oh buddy you the one bank you shouldn't have tried to rob like the one place bank stays open
on sundays i'm the only like i like i recognize you as a bank robber because like we went to
school together it was like that kind of thing like it was that level of like because if he
turned that packet into i don't know fallon they would have been like this is great because nobody
would have remembered that i was the one who tweeted that or whatever yeah right or he would have had some obscure tweet from a fallon
writer as well maybe that's what he's doing yeah you're right probably that's not the only thing
he stole like that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah scratch alive find a thief damn that's that's nuts
they're not crazy yeah anyway dude all right everybody put your shirts back on let's call it
in new orleans perfect i love it i can't wait to go there and yeah also new orleans is just like
you know you can eat at every restaurant in new orleans you're all so good yeah do you remember
your outfit that you wore for your special uh Uh-huh. Was it the sweater?
No.
No, it was like a windbreaker with like an anorak, I guess, technically. Oh, that's right.
The blue, white, and red one.
Yeah, yeah.
And then jeans and then some Asics shoes.
Nice.
Black jeans, Asics shoes.
And I would also play around with my wardrobe.
Maybe I come out with some shit where my hog's almost out i was thinking you definitely come out one day you just
go out straight naked and just see what happens yeah yeah you come out in the nelly sweatsuit
combo or i come out and i get naked on stage in the middle i talked adam into going a sweatsuit
for his halloween costume but it was just a suit a blazer with sweatpants rightfully so nobody got it that's not the same
and they just look like a fucking bum he looked like a homeless guy had been homeless for like
a week and it was yeah and everyone's like what are you and i'm like he's sweatsuit don't you
get that and they're like no like he's still holding he's still holding on everyone's like, what are you? And I'm like, he's sweatsuit. Don't you get that? And they're like, no. Like, he's still holding on.
He's like, yeah, okay, I'm wearing sweatpants,
but I still got the blazer.
Things are going to change.
You're going to cut it down the middle.
This is my only suit jacket, dude.
I'm not going to cut it down the middle.
You don't have to stand up at a custody hearing,
so I should be just fine.
Think of my fashion as like a combo guard.
I play all the positions
zach talk about your first pick uh my first pick i'm gonna go uh i went on a field trip in sixth
grade and this was when i was living in hawaii we went to a field trip to another island we
straight up left our families and we went with our teacher we flew to molokai
which is a very it's like you flew you flew somewhere on a field trip yeah yeah yeah yeah
we went to the airport we were there for like whoa we were there for like two days i think
what an overnight field trip yes overnight field trip And it gets crazier because we get there and then...
You killed someone?
Yeah, exactly.
We had to take care of his family.
It was Mr. Voth.
This dude looked like just like big, like Santa Claus if he had like a horseshoe, if
he was like horseshoe bald, but big white beard, big white hair.
And he had been living on the beard big white hair and he had
been living on the islands for like decades and he knew friends there so when we got to molokai
we like put all of our stuff up and then at like 10 at night he was like okay who wants to go deer
hunting and we were like what and he all he had knives he had knives for everybody you don't stray hunt with a knife you don't you don't
mr both does and then he was like so it was night we all have knives and if you wanted to stay in
the in the bunks you could but everyone went out yeah he gave us all knives and then we're walking out he was like okay uh you don't want
it like a lot of you are white so we're gonna have to cover you so like the deers won't see you so we
covered ourselves in mud took off our shirts and it was straight up oh my god it was one of the
coolest field trips we didn't end up we didn't even get close to killing a deer, but he bought us deer meat
from his friend who did kill a deer and we cooked it on an open flame and ate it.
It was so good.
That's amazing.
Now, was Mr. Voth an adult?
Mr. Voth was an adult.
Dude, it was like.
All right.
Sounds like Lord of the Flies.
It does sound like it, but somehow he had that had that like i don't know if you guys ever had teachers like that where it was like he didn't have to like enforce enforce his his like
dominance or anything it was just like he had a very calm demeanor like if kids were fucking around
natural leader yeah he would just come over and be like all right guys what's going on here like
he wasn't trying to blow up anyone or like make it public so everyone kind of like respected him but man i
i look back at that and i was like i would love to relive that and also kind of like what was he
trying to teach us i don't know well and one of those times maybe you get a deer you've yeah yeah
how to do it and then you kill and dress the deer and all the kids are like holy shit some kids
start puking he He's just introducing.
I mean, he's like your what?
Sixth grade, you said?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the perfect age.
I was thinking about this.
I watched Dirty Dancing for the first time with my girlfriend, and I'd never seen it.
We watched that.
We've been rewatching Gilmore Girls, both of which are like girls right before independence.
You know what I mean?
Right before.
I'm like, you want to like slowly introduce independence to kids.
Like you forget about that.
That's like a job as a parent or as a mentor.
So he, that was like a little bit of like, okay, you're leaving home overnight.
Yeah.
And then he's handing you a knife and taking you into the woods.
There's more independence.
Like 30 kids with knives.
It's like.
Did your parents know that's what you were going to do? like 30 kids with knives it's like did your parents
know that's what you were gonna do i think well that's the other thing that's awesome i hope they
didn't i think every kid went that i remember like i don't remember any kids parents being like no no
no so i think it's just like different culturally there where it's like oh yeah we're because it's
like hawaiian studies kind of because like right that whole island is very rural it's not very like they
don't attract tourism because they don't want any of it you can go there was owned by dole
for a long time i don't know it was the it had a leprosy colony for a while okay that was like uh
sean's laughing it's not funny i didn't i know it's a funny thing to hear i know no i know um don't gotta know more
but so it's just like very it's very rural and they have dude the that deer problem is like an
infestation so it's straight up like i think maybe even the school system was okay with us hunting
deer they're like if you kill some great that means that works sometimes like sometimes he
takes all those kids out and they get a deer yeah right yo that's amazing yeah and eating deer meat
i remember it like being so so good and we actually took some back to the school and we
cooked some out in the backyard like backyard of the school like that's where we had recess but
during recess we were just cooking meat on a fire while like other kids were playing kickball and dodgeball it was the best that's
amazing yeah that's a fucking solid pick man yeah i'm not gonna pick this for myself but we had like
outdoor school which i mean we never hunted deer or anything like that but we went like there was
like you left home for like a week and it was awesome yeah did you what
did you guys we would just like there were like classes during the day and then like you played
uh capture the flag and tag and like had stuff like that at night and you know they were like
campfire sing-alongs and stuff like that right blood sport blood sport stream ecology disappear
hitchhiker just like just the standard stuff life is a highway life is
that your campfire song yeah yeah and we wanted to ride it all night i beat jack at basketball um
it was just really would you now are you worried like if you had to can you
would you miss your family because you have to keep living this day over and over again like
what what were the variables you would do? What would you do different?
Well, I mean, I think David
said one variable would
be if I actually, I would start to learn
more and more about the deer, the more that I
would talk to the adults and stuff.
So then, at a certain point, they
would just think that I had some preternatural
understanding of deer
hunting. We brought this kid deer hunting
and then I'm like, the hooves look like it's carrying child
like you lean down and taste the dirt you're like south by southeast
god that'd be the worst he just leansans down, puts some dirt on his tongue. She's in heat.
She can be long now.
We got to move.
One day they'd get there and you'd be standing over a deer carcass.
They'd show up.
And they're like, where's your knife?
And I'm like, didn't use it.
You're there.
I bare hands fought this deer.
But with your teacher's hair and beard combo wearing the same outfit.
You like Hannibal lecter
where you like the deer killed itself after i talked to her for two hours the dear woman ate
her face off but yeah i think and also just like uh it would be fun to be that age again
to remember that and like all those kids like all the kids are like oh my
god i forgot about this kid and i don't know it's a place that i'll probably never be able to go to
again and i think i like it for that reason yeah that's man that's amazing cian time for your first
pick uh i'm this is the only pick that i that i fear that one of you two might pick, so I'm just going first.
This isn't actually my first pick, but I want it.
Anyway, I'm picking the Bell House show that we did on the Summer Breeze tour that day.
Oh, in New York?
Yeah, the Bell House.
For me, it was just the coolest, most fun feeling I've ever had. It was the day that i really felt like oh my god it's
real we did this like it's an iconic day you lost your virginity in portugal we did this
did we start that day in boston and drive yeah was that that day yeah it was like oh we did drive
into new york yeah yeah and you know we got there each got our own room, which was to me just like, holy shit.
We all have our own room.
This is insane.
Show sold out.
Iconic venue.
One of the best shows we've ever done.
It was just all around a fantastic, insane, fun.
Holy shit.
I get to do this for a living day.
And I've never.
Remember that sandwich spread?
Oh, that was a good one.
And Katie kept being like, you know, she's like, you guys aren't supposed to eat.
It's got, it's wet.
And we're like, well, we're going to eat it.
That's what a deli tray does when it's left out in like a humid room for like an hour
or two.
That doesn't mean it's not good.
I like when it's like that.
Nampe was there, dude.
Nampe was there.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah. Was Johnny Nampe there? No, his sister was there. His sister was there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He and Nami was there, dude. Nam Pei was there. Yeah. Fuck yeah.
Was Johnny Nam Pei there?
No, his sister was there.
His sister was there.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Nam Pei was there, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was, and then we went and sang karaoke like in a private karaoke booth area the other
day.
Kevin O'Brien was there and he broke a pitcher.
And somebody reminded me of this.
He broke a pitcher in the karaoke room, which I forgot about because he was like dancing
on the table. Oh, I didn't go to karaoke this is it i love that day i cherish it
it's one of my favorite memories you're you're choosing to start a day hung over you know that
yeah and the drive i honestly and i thought about that but to me that was all part of the fun and
they weren't bad on that trip just like bridgetown or something where it's like
they're not bad until the end and then it's like five at once so getting up and doing the drive
wasn't amazing but the rest of the day was so good that i'm like didn't we get up early as
fuck kind of we got up early that was what i couldn't get the plane out of new member and i
had to double back in it. Right?
No.
We just drove to New York.
And Ian was doing the... He had the Ian Moe look going on.
The devil look.
Where he spiked your hair down.
Yeah.
We were listening to Bauhaus.
Yeah, I remember that.
It was awesome.
I got us lost and freaked out.
And you guys were like, it's fine.
And then we checked in.
All got our own rooms.
The show was just amazing.
And yeah, we all got to sing.
It just felt like everything was clicking.
That show, like it always clicks, but just nothing was going wrong.
It was just such a great day.
And there he is.
Meanwhile, while you guys are having fucking fun, I'm just stuck in Los Angeles.
The day that you get to relive over is me all by myself with no friends.
Well, that was one of the best things is Zach wasn't there.
It was one of the few days without Zach. And I was about it was there everyone was there that i really was fucking awesome it was that was a great day that was a great day they'll get out
there dude nampay like if you give them like even just a little bit of notice dude and and it's
gonna be fun he'll fucking get there soda water poppy was there a lot of people were there yeah
yeah that was great that was really fun that was a real fun like i mean the very there's
such a long drive here yeah i mean i would the drive was like three hours it wasn't crazy there's
variables i could get a room at one of the most expensive hotels in the whole city i could just
shoot my shot and invite every celebrity that lives there and eventually one of them would come
and then it would be fun are you sure that eventually one
of them would come i think so i think if i spent a different day just shooting my shots at all the
new york celebrities that one would be like what's this kid all about i live by the bell house i'm
gonna go yeah it would be wild for us if you were like i'm staying at the plaza or something like
that like i wonder how i would react i complain about being broke the whole time and you're like, I got a thousand dollar room tonight.
Yeah, we would have been like...
A thousand?
Ian, can I borrow a thousand?
How much is like a crazy room?
In New York City?
I think you could go upwards of 10, 20.
Yeah, a night.
Ian, can I borrow $20,000?
I would ask you every day
until I did it just right
where you're like, sure.
It takes some real sweet talking.
I'll tell you that right now.
Yeah, that's a lot.
So we're going to be in this loop for a thousand years.
That's a lot.
Like out of nowhere.
I'm starting this day over.
I'm not reliving it, by the way.
You got to remember, I'm starting this.
So I'm waking up the same surly bastard.
Each day I have to do it all day long.
He's going to learn like the four or five words put together that instantly calm you down.
That's what I'm going to say.
Your sleeper cell code to give me 20 racks.
I'm just going to learn it.
Easy, big kitty.
And he just puts these right by your eyes.
Yeah, like...
I have David giving you a neck rub.
What is it?
Crocodile Dundee does that?
No, it's also not my groundhog day i know
i'm laying a lot of groundwork for the ultimate groundhog day in which ian loans me twenty
thousand dollars so i get this dope room for for some reason that you will not explain to us either
right you're not gonna be like give me 20 racks i gotta stay at the plaza for whatever i will tell
you i stayed in the plaza once this was when i was a kid not it's like opulent but like the windows are so tiny because that building
is so old they're like this and there's bars across them so there's like no you're not like
oh wow i'm surrounded by new york you're just like wow what a nice hotel room with a tiny window. Sean, you idiot. Yeah.
Is the plaza the most expensive hotel in New York? Did he freeze?
I think he's frozen.
I think he's frozen.
I think he's frozen.
I think he's frozen because look at his hands.
I think he's frozen too, but that would be amazing
if he was holding that.
Oh, man.
The longer this goes, the more it feels
like he's just doing it.
You're going to see him blink and I'm going to freak out.
Yeah, I would get up and run around the room.
If this is a prank, it's a resp...
No, he's gone.
Damn it, Sean.
Welcome back after a short break
due to some...
Basically, Sean got in a fight
with a plumber
who stole his wife.
And the
row, the Donnybrook,
they smashed through a wall,
shoddy
craftsmanship
on the wall. And in doing so,
they took out a power line, some plumbing,
they took out the internet.
So right now, Sean is talking to the cops
uh in a perfect jamaican accent and we're going to continue doing the podcast and eventually he'll
come back and join us it is time for my first pick and my second pick as it is a serpentine
giraffe with my first pick i am going to take oh I should have thought about this better.
It's a hard one.
This one is hard as hell.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm going to take, okay, I'm in, I'm waking up.
I'm in an Airbnb.
Okay.
And I believe it was the 17th of this month in Paris.
Okay.
I wake up around like 10 a.m i'm not traveling i traveled the day
before i took a train from london to paris yeah and i'm just waking up in paris i'm making tv
money and i have the entire day ahead of me now what i did with that day the first time was i
went to the louvre i went to the mosaic d'orsay i ate. I ate at this cafe that was right by my Airbnb.
I got the city bike that they have, like version there,
and I just rode a bicycle around Paris.
But basically, I'm in central Paris, and the world is my fucking oyster.
I can go wherever I want.
That's how you have to do it.
You have to have so many different options.
Yeah.
That's the best. You could do anything you could do anything and again you're you're not
in oregon you're not in la you're in a city that you want to explore where you're like i could see
every nook and cranny of this every part of it i could just completely take in paris i could one
day i could spend like tracing back my family history in the city of Paris.
One day you just go to the Louvre.
One day I try to steal the Mona Lisa.
Exactly. I try to figure out how to do that.
Exactly.
Oh, dude, yes.
You could burn down the Eiffel Tower.
You could burn it right down.
It's metal, but I'd fucking figure it out.
Yeah.
Tell them Nicolas Cage sent you.
Yeah, exactly.
I would do it. This was always a question i had about grand hogs day
you you can mental you mentally you remain from day to day physically can you change yourself can
you get like keep getting buffer and buffer i don't think so right i don't think so i think
you can't like grow a beard or anything right well that's perfect because i'm just gonna eat
my ass off in paris every single day dude you could also if you want you could wake up or you're waking up early how far how far is
the flight from paris to rome oh you could probably figure it out hop a train take a train to the
countryside but you don't even have to stay in paris the whole time yeah no you could be a
fucking versailles in in less than an hour exactly
oh you could go on a museum tour and correct the museum guide actually i believe it was uh 1532
should we look that up should we look that up in perfect french in perfect red yeah you're
learning french like oh man your french would be immaculate you could do like different regions or different
dialects yeah i would just figure out how to i'd like of course you fit you have to figure out how
to get money you you know like early on it's the stealing the money out of the back of the uh do
you i guess i have a good amount of money like i'd be like at gucci and like yves saint laurent
getting like suits and shit made because like you know what i mean you have enough money for one day right yeah yeah yeah yeah like even if you're going nut you could just buy a
maserati yeah yeah yeah credit dude you just be like sure yeah whatever i got an amex i take
singing lessons and accordion lessons and shit like that and i just like appear one day just
like blasting out this beautiful accordion song on the corner oh man just just like walking to an opera and like top them yeah that would really
fuck up when you came back to the states and they're like so what did you do in france and
you're just like what didn't i do what i did in everything i did france i did fucking paris dude
i did it all i would learn yeah i would just do everything there is to do in paris like
i i remember that i entered like I forget what neighborhood I went in,
but I met up with Eliza Skinner there on one of the nights I was in Paris.
You guys were in Paris at the same time?
We happened to be in Paris at the same time.
And just went to, like, we went to, like, this crazy bar where you ordered,
like, from a, the menu was, like, a storybook kind of thing. And you, like, ordered like from a the menu was like a storybook kind of thing and you like
ordered drinks from that and they were like crazy like young french people in there and stuff like
that who we like you know talk to and all this shit it was just so fun you could eavesdrop on
eavesdrop on people you could take a painting yeah yeah oh my god yeah it'd be amazing so much
and again i'm doing an art heist at the
fucking lou yeah that's the big thing you could be stealing shit i'm stealing shit you know what
was crazy when i went there was how small the mona lisa is compared to other paintings tiny
and they put the biggest painting in the world on the wall opposite it yes yeah as if to say like
still your eye is drawn to the mona lisa and not that i'm
poking around but how secure is it like is it like triple glass and then like a guy standing
there like what's it what's it nobody's stealing the mona lisa now not right now no not but if you
have a thousand years of prep i don't know how even with a thousand years you would figure out
to steal it what if you just got a tank and you gorilla pimped it, like strongly?
You could probably gorilla pimp it.
You could get a tank for sure in a day.
Yeah.
Like, if you're just like nuts, if you just, you know what I mean?
We could do that.
You could show up with a pecan jag.
Yeah.
They have to.
I like the idea of you finessing the Mona Lisa.
Oh, I have a pecan jag.
She got in the car.'d lucky pierre it yeah
so that's my first pick yeah that's a great pick that's my first pick and then i with my second
pick there is something i want to take but i have shauna has to be here to take it uh so for my
second pick i'm going to take i don't even remember the exact day it was
from my youth but it was there were many days like this so i'm just gonna take early high school
summer day waking up like beautiful day july and like these were the days where me and like my
friend brandon carroll would just put on rollerblades you know what i mean we had 20 bucks we had rollerblades all the money in the world
back then yeah 20 bucks fucking suburbia yeah 20 bucks i could go to two fast food restaurants
yeah yeah yeah you could go see a movie and get dinner afterwards you know what i mean like yeah
yeah oh yeah it was enough you could go to red robin you could get some jujubes a target like get a slurpee everything and whatever you wanted to do and just like those perfect fucking summer
days where you're like waking up at 11 maybe 10 yeah you don't have any real problems no bills in
your name no no real problems even on the horizon no acheses, no pains, dude. Everything's just fucking beautiful.
Oh, God.
You don't think about politics?
Like, yeah, that's perfect.
Because that's like, also that summer, because I have similar picks.
That summer, that age is like, the world's so big.
So big.
Like, it's not, but it is to you.
You know what I mean?
Like, the small world is big.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause you have, you're experiencing freedom for the first time.
Yeah.
I love it.
That's exactly, man.
That's exactly.
Yeah.
A pair of rollerblades.
Me and David were talking about like how much a bike meant to you as a kid.
It was like better than a car.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was, it was your current, like that was what, that was, that was how you operated.
And this was pre, I'm taking pre-car i don't know because pre-car made the world so big in a way like
although i would also take one of those days but like there was just something about like
just being off the leash like that your parents either trusted you or were just like well he's
out there and like yeah it was just so fun just like going into
target would be like a thing you could do in a day and have make make the day fun you know what
i mean like yeah god just finding some creek and just playing in it for like six hours you're like
yeah do anything but throw rocks and like play in the mud but that was fucking awesome there's a
swamp behind my house that we that i would just go explore sometimes like i would get lost back there oh man i ended up in like water up to my neck once it was amazing
that's like what you should be doing like just going getting weird by yourself
yeah going to getting weird finding like beaver bites and trees and shit like that
like being outside as a kid just yeah man finding other traces of people having been
back there and being like what if they're still back here? Yeah, fighting woods porn.
Yeah, woods porn.
Some neighborhood dads who jack off.
Who was jacking off in the woods all this time?
I don't know.
Somebody was, though.
We have to figure out when that happened.
There was apparently a big year where everyone decided, like, where are we going to keep all the smut?
In the woods.
Oh, man.
In various woods. yeah yeah that's a great pick man yeah so that's my pick i just loved i just love those
fucking summer days you got a disc man you got some cds you know anti-skip do you remember did
you ever have to like ride your bike but you're holding the Discman because of the anti-skip?
Oh, yeah.
One hand.
I had to go back to the Walkman, the tape player, just because it wouldn't skip.
I respect that.
That's smart.
Sean is back.
I don't know what's going on, but it.
Yeah.
So there was like a boom, I guess.
And like something popped and then uh laura thinks
that it was like an outlet or something so i don't think it's a gas leak oh good is dope so i think
we lost power to one of our rooms which ain't dank uh but as long as her computer works that's
what i'm worried about when you say power you mean the 50 cent series on showtime
yeah yeah we normally have it playing pretty much in every room sometimes it's hard to get
in the crawl space but um yeah so that's what's going on there and our internet is out so i'm
using my uh unlimited data oh out here big dick all right yeah well welcome back i just went
through my two picks i'll tell you really quick it was the day in paris when i went to the louvre and then the second one was uh early high school
summer day me rollerblades twenty dollars in my pocket a world of possibilities okay
yeah like i like you could eat a taco bell and it wouldn't ruin your day you know what i mean you
can actually you can then go do other stuff remember that and it's groundhog day you're out running the diarrhea yeah yeah yeah
it's never catching up with me you're gonna live forever listen i've been into the mud up to my
neck i'm fine the next day i have 10 000 i have 10 000 years of diarrhea coming for me
when i break out of it god oh god your stomach is the only thing that remembers every day.
Sean, time for your second pick.
Just in time.
Well, look at me.
Just in time.
I apologize to anyone who's lost
or if I get a dip again,
but I will do what I can.
My second pick.
So every, it is not a specific day,
but rather days that I had.
So every Sunday for like,
oh shit.
Did you just hear another pop?
Yes.
Hold on.
This is not dank.
Oh no.
It smells like a fire up here.
Well,
Sundays we used to play volleyball in the cherry rock park and then uh
i would get taco bell and then go watch entourage at joey's and then whatever was on after entourage
so like hung for a while oh yeah just lucky those yeah those sundays like the i don't know just super
dank dope sundays that we used to have every sunday so is that okay it's not one specific
sunday but it is the day i
mean i could just pick one um we'll pick an episode entourage maybe you want to see over and over and
over again yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the fuka fuka watch the same episode of television
uh yeah so oh yeah power fucking went out up here too you want to go address this yeah i'm sorry guys i'm so sorry no go address it
okay you guys can keep going i'll come back yes uh yeah yeah yeah all right don't even worry about
coming back we'll keep going yeah we got you we've gotten we've got a good hour and a half
of you talking already don't worry all right uh all right later all right best of luck later buddy
so i believe sean just took rollerblading uh in the
park and then watching an episode of lucky starring dustin hoffman on hbo zach time for your second
i'm gonna go christmas 1990 at the saskanis house my grandma's still alive i am five but it's just
like i am five years old which is kind of tight in the same way
that i wouldn't have burdens or worries but i'd have an adult mind and choices that's dangerous
it's it's like a day i would want to have because uh a couple years after that we had a few family
members die and it was just we have a home video of that year and it's just like chaos in a way that i want
to live in all the time i did the numbers there were 30 adults and 15 kids in a four-bedroom house
my god yeah yeah yeah and it's just like oh man i just like a big italian family on christmas
i would get to really like dive into each one of
my family members like at that time you know yeah like really learn and retain stuff and just like
you know see people i hadn't seen i haven't been able to see since they passed away it would just
be it would just be unbelievable some of those adults would be Like, why is this five-year-old asking me such intimate questions? Yeah.
So tell me about the war.
Uncle Joe, I don't think the horse is going to pay off.
What were the dinners like?
Was it like amazing food and stuff like that?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it was like everyone would be cooking,
but it would also just be nuts because there weren't enough tables or like places.
So just like the kids would just, we would just take our plates and just running outside, just like eating spaghetti with our hands and shit.
Yeah, just a classic, just what I thought an Italian dinner would be.
Yeah, grandma's, I can see like my grandma my grandma, like, stirring the sauce with a cigarette.
Like, just a long cigarette dangling over the sauce, you know?
Oh, the ash. Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, people getting hammered.
I probably will start to find out, like, which aunt and uncle are on cocaine or on drugs
just to make it through the Christmas because that's, like, another side I would see.
And one of those days you could get hammered
and everybody would remember that. Oh, yeah.
Everybody would be like, little Zach, he's hammered.
He locked his throat in his grandma's car.
One of the bottles. He's drunk as
shit. Was this in
Cincinnati? This was Dayton, Ohio
was where my grandma's house is.
Still in the family, the house.
I lived there for a little bit. Oh, wow. Who lives
there now uh
it's my aunt and uncles they just bought it after after she passed away yeah nice man bracing date
it's a midwest christmas was it snowy was it cold that day yeah it would be it would be i don't know
if it was snowy that day but let's just say it was yeah and yeah yeah pretty cold like pretty
i guess what you consider like a traditional Christmas.
And then all the fucking presents.
15 kids.
So many presents.
There's going to be a lot of Street Sharks t-shirts.
Oh my God, it was like mountains.
And it didn't even matter that most of them weren't for you.
It was just like, holy shit.
You could learn how to sing Oh Holy Night in like that prepubescent falsetto
and just blow everyone away.
Then my parents are like,
we should cut his nuts off.
He's got a future.
That's an excellent pick,
dude.
That's great.
Oh yeah.
Uh,
Dave,
it's time for your second and third picks.
My second pick I'm taking.
So I went to this every year,
but I'm taking specifically 2013.
I'm taking the Hate Street Fair, the day I went to the Hate Street Fair, because it was just San Francisco, 2013.
It's in the middle of June.
It was on Hate Street.
Hate Street's fucking packed all the way down.
There's a live music stage by the park.
Me and my friends were posted up in front
of the milk bar like because we knew the owners so we're allowed to hang out we're allowed to
loiter basically which is like yeah people are kind of shitty about that it's just all the freaks
and weirdos of san francisco going past my friend texas she was giving people haircuts out front
i was hanging out with a girl i had just started seeing. It was like 74 degrees.
And just like,
we just were out there all fucking day.
We were smoking weed on the street.
As the night came on,
we went into the bar,
didn't even do a comedy show.
And it was just,
there was so much going on.
And it was just that,
like,
it was like,
well,
I think forever when I think back on my twenties, I'll be like, that was the day I was just, there was so much going on. And it was just that, like, it was like, well, I think forever when I think back on my 20s,
I'll be like, that was the day I was like doing it the most.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That sounds fucking perfect.
Like, dude, we were all pretty broke, but we like pooled our money together.
And we had a little, like, we had like a backpack with like a bottle of champagne and then like
a bottle of liquor.
And then we all had chasers and like being on the street it's like we we were in the neighborhood all the time
anyways so so many of our friends and people we knew from comedy we would see come back and forth
it was just like it was it was just so great it was like one of the best days of my whole life
and luckily we have my friend andrew
uh he took a bunch of pictures so we have pictures of it now oh hell yeah yeah so he
because he had just bought a camera and like looking back on it and it was just like and
it's a street festival right so there's like a million different things you can do that day
you know what i mean you can go and there's a billion people to talk to and it's just like and it was
the city and like the city when it was still fun for me before i got like jaded to it it was just
like yeah i could do it over and over and over again what was it what was the street fair like
what kind of stuff would happen on the street it was just like it was just a very general like it
wasn't a theme right so there was a performance stage like right by the
park like by our side and then there was a bunch of street vendors but it wasn't like it wasn't
like in commemoration of it was it was just like everybody in the neighborhood coming out and
walking around trying different foods and beers and oh man and it's san francisco so there's like
you know there goes a guy with on aicycle, and there goes a naked lady.
And, like, it was just so much fun.
A beautiful day in San Francisco is like, you can't beat that either.
That too.
But it wasn't too hot, so it was like,
you're stoked to be outside all day with your friends.
And it was like, I love comedy,
but there wasn't, like, some show that I would have to redo
over and over again you know
what i mean it was just like it was like in hate street was like at the time i was living at
sylvan house which is like eight blocks away so like if i needed shit i could walk walk back to
the house it was just like really like one of those days where you're like yeah man that was
about the best you know that sounds, I'm like nostalgic for that day
and I didn't even.
I'll show you the pictures of it next time we hang out,
but it was just like, yeah, it was just so great, man.
It was like a bunch of us, we were like nine or 10 deep
just hanging out on the wall,
just like watching the weird shit happen, you know?
Yeah, and the best thing was Sean wasn't there.
And the best thing was Sean.
Oh, oh shit
yeah i'm here now boys so i've had my i've had my my share my fair share of uh san francisco days so
i know what you're talking about yeah it's it's your fair share is that a is that a euphemism
for boofing or what what's going on here you filthy animal i'm all out of sorts i feel like
i'm doing more harm than good but uh i'm all out of sorts. I feel like I'm doing more harm than good,
but I'm all out of sorts right now.
Are you okay? Is your house sorted out?
What's going on, dude? Are you getting attacked by Magneto?
What's the deal?
Well, now we're trying to find our other kitty.
So one of our cats
might have gotten out in the fracas.
Sean, you can go find your cat, dude.
Yeah.
Well, that's the plumber's cat now i don't know laura
the kitty we got betty this fucking day not today no we're good anyway uh i'm not gonna
screw this up anymore uh excellent pick david and your pick. My third pick is kind of similar to your last pick, but it's a different place.
I'm taking, so every, I've talked about it before.
Got in some trouble when I was 17, got shipped off to Africa.
I'm taking my second day in Freetown, Sierra Leone.
Wow.
Yeah.
It was just like, it was the first time, because time because you know the war was my whole life right
so all i knew of my family was dying i had never met anybody it was the first time meeting my whole
family and the second day i got there i woke up early and uh me and my uncle paul just walked
around the whole city what are you okay are you talking to me he's frozen again is he frozen yeah oh yeah no am i frozen
again a little bit we're getting audio yeah we're getting audio rice you're not screwing it up why
don't you just take take take it off you're you're okay yeah it's okay pal go do what you gotta do
i feel horrible i'm sorry this is my job i should be able to do it i missed an episode with
gout once yeah which you can just lay there i had internet should i do my pics okay real no no
because you might take some stuff off the board that i want all right all right well i'm gonna
sign i'm fucking this up you can stay if you want but if you have if you have you're not fucking it
up if you have other stuff to do you should go do it but if you want But if you have You're not fucking it up If you have other stuff to do
You should go do it
But if you want to stay, stay
But don't feel like you have to
We have extenuating circumstances
This is an act of God
Okay, I'm going to go find this cat
Okay, feel free to jump back in if you want
Tell us about Freetown
Yeah, so Sean's going to Boofoo's share
Right?
That was a He's going to Bufu Share right yeah that was uh that was uh he's going okay yeah he's gonna go no it was just yeah it was my first time being surrounded by my
whole family and me and my uncle Paul the second day he just took me to the city and we started at
PZ which is the middle of the city and we walked all the way out to the beach and then way up into
the hills and then I mean like shit Zach if walked, if me and Zach walked nine miles around Denver the other day, that day I walked 15, 20 miles.
Damn.
Just, like, throughout, just, it was, like, it was my first time being out of the country in a major way, seeing anything like Africa, seeing something that beautiful.
And it was just, like, yeah, it was just amazing.
I was 17 so
you're not even tired you're just like oh this is great yeah it was like i ate street food got
diarrhea but whatever and uh you again that doesn't catch up with you till later yeah that doesn't
catch up with me later and i would just like and now that i know freetown a little bit i just would
know where i would go and shit like that like it was just yeah it was amazing it was amazing be like a man about town yeah and then like after after being able to redo
it i would just like know where to go and my creole would get better and i could speak better
and it would just be like yeah i would just i would live in that forever and it was like what
kind of food was there what do you eat so that day i ate they have these soft
shell crabs on the beach that they just take right off the beach and fry them on the beach and just
fry them with a little bit of like pepper and stuff like that and you just like and it's soft
shell right so you just crunch the whole thing i ate those and then later in the day they have
this thing called beef and bread and it's basically just like beef chunks in a stew
like a tomato and palm oil stew and then they just slap it on some white bread and you just like eat
it like a sandwich i ate those two things that day and meat pies they have meat pies i ate some
meat pies but yeah i would do that over and over and over and over again man because yeah one day
you could go fishing yeah exactly what you what
you caught yeah and i was 17 so it's like you're not gonna get tired you're not gonna like it's
just like you're just like this is amazing you know and you could learn a little bit about your
family too you could have that day where you just do the deep dives you talk to everybody speak to
everybody and like i ended up being there for three four months so i got into everything but
just like really that but like the further i got into living there the more you just it becomes you have a routine you know what
i mean yeah yeah so it'd be like you had people you'd make plans and you'd have people you'd have
to go see and you have to do whatever but that first few days it was like everything was new
so everybody was just like hey just yeah go do whatever you want. It was like great.
It was really freeing.
And yeah, I do that over and over again.
Excellent.
Zach, how about your third pick?
All right, my third pick, I'm going to go with the reason I picked this day
is because it's a mystery that I would want to solve.
And what happened was what happened was i this was hawaii day so i was probably like i
don't know 11 12 and my little sister found a lucky penny she finds this penny and she's like
it's my lucky penny and i was like i don't know what that means and she's like i found if you
find a lucky penny you'll find 20 in the road in the next day right she
tells my mom she tells a couple other people whatever the next day we wake up and this is
the day that i would relive she finds twenty dollars in the road i'm obviously very skeptical
i'm like okay my mom did this to foster like believe in things and you know all that kind
of stuff so i was like cynical little boy yeah obviously this
is a parenting tactic yeah this is some bullshit um so so my sister finds 20 bucks and my mom's
like i didn't do that blah blah blah i'm like yeah right and as we're having that discussion
my sister comes back into the house and she's like now i have 80 and we're like what so she puts the 80 down
and we're like i don't whatever she goes back outside she comes back in now i have a hundred
dollars at the end of the day she finds 2,500 in cash what yes and and i went out with her once because i was like at a certain point i was like where the
fuck are you finding this money right and she's like i'm finding it in holes of trees so she she
would find them in like little knotted out holes in coconut trees and then so i was like okay i'm
gonna go with you like you need to help we're gonna find this money so i was following her and she was just like making all these weird little kid
connections where she's like well money is green and trees are leaves are green so maybe there'll
be some and she no shit in front of me climbed up a mango tree and pulled up two hundred dollars up $200. What? And that was an insane part to come back to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So to catch you up,
my little sister found $2,500 one day just in cash. And she attributed it to a lucky penny
she found. So my parents, it was a very small town so we're like hey we found
some money if anyone no one claimed it no one claimed the money wow but did she get to watch
entourage no we didn't have cable you have so many stories that would be my best story i know
i think that all the time you say some shit i'm like get out of here i don't even want to
it might be coming up so i don't want to wreck the one.
No, but it's just, dude, it is.
So it is something that really baffled because I'm like, OK, maybe it was like drug money.
And that's like how they were exchanging money and drugs.
But how would my sister know to look?
Why would in a mango tree?
I'm telling you, like, there's nothing around.
There's nothing.
There would be no reason for anyone to keep money
what does she say about it now she doesn't really remember that much like she remembers the story
how old was she like i mean she was probably like five or six oh my god that is just pure like
some child fucking imagination shit and at that point i'm like okay my mom definitely is not leaving two g's
out right on the like i gotta fight for five dollars she found twenty five hundred dollars
twenty five hundred dollars that was never a cat like no there was no you know we lived there for
years afterwards and no one was ever like hey you know what the i left money here or whatever
nobody came looking no Nobody came looking.
No one came looking.
It was really crazy. And I want to track it down.
Like, I really want to relive that day.
And just like, to me, there has to be a logical explanation.
Like, did a bag of money just explode in the town?
What the fuck happened?
It sounds like the beginning of a really fun like spielberg
movie though yeah oh yeah yeah my sister gets rich and i'm fucking broken mean
or just like a mystery a mystery about kids finding money and then like and then what
goes from there you know she invested it she's doing quite well she bought gamestStop back then. Back then. Just so I couldn't have games.
Dude, that's crazy.
Yeah, that's wild.
I don't even know what to say.
But like, yeah, yeah, you should relive that day.
Yeah.
Because I can't even begin to imagine what it was like.
What is the logical explanation?
Is it just like a bunch of random occurrences at once and she was
that is you know what that sounds like some of that island magic it does it does there is a ring
of like that seems like very particular to that place because i haven't heard it like there's no
way there's no way in cincinnati find $2,500 just in the leaves?
How many different trips did she take out, do you think?
I would say probably a dozen.
So it wasn't like, oh, I found $1,000.
It'd be like $100, $80, $60, $20, $30, $50.
Just like, and on our property.
So like where the hotel and restaurant were so
it wasn't like oh there's a bunch of neighbor they ever we knew everyone man that's crazy yeah
that's gnarly i don't even know wow and definitely one of those days i would just take the $2,500
and buy a bunch of candy like i would just steal the money yeah
just fucking stiff farmer yeah sean time for your third pick uh my third pick would be we had uh
we made a skateboard video we made a few but we made a video and it was the second tc video or
maybe the first tc video but the Tough Customer video,
and we had a video premiere at a movie theater at like midnight,
and it was absolutely bonkers.
It was one of those where we were in the videos,
we felt,
it's like I felt like I was at a movie premiere,
like I was fucking DiCaprio or something.
It was insane,
because there were like,
I don't know,
10 of us probably.
So we rented out this theater, and the the guy there were like 400 people showed up standing room only uh
everybody came in a limo which was insane and just at the height of like my our rowdiness as a crew
and uh and then the dude so in the theater i was like all right everybody try to be cool
and then you just see puffs of smoke going up here and there like weed blunts everybody and
there's glass breaking and uh we made like a grand or something which at the time i was just like
what and uh the dude at the end of the night i was like hey man sorry about all that and he had
this terrified look on his face like what are we gonna do about this and i peeled him off like 200 bucks
and i was like can we just not say anything and he's like whoa he freaked out like it was the
most money he'd ever seen and i felt like i was in goodfellas or some shit it was i just peeled
him off a couple notes like it was nothing and then yeah it was just it was an insane day that
i've never had i've never felt a feeling like that. Seeing yourself skate on the big screen, all the people, like everybody in town that I wanted to be there was there. And it was
just such an insane, awesome whole day leading up to it. Just 40s everywhere. It was so rad.
There's video evidence of this, right?
Yeah, there's. Well, Rude made like a slideshow to an mf doom beat and that was actually how i
found out who mf doom was um but there's like you could see the theater filling up and then
one picture like i got my shirt on for like the first 10 pictures and then boom shirt off
yeah yeah that was not long for this world no no it wasn't it wasn't built for that
i remember watching that slideshow it looked fucking so much fun i was insane dude and it was probably the best
skating i've ever done like documented anyways and it was just all right there and everybody
sees it and you're like oh this is all my hard work of you know filming and whatever it's not
we're getting paid but like we're still going out and like breaking ourselves trying to film and
then there it is and we what are the variables in this i mean like i guess i don't really i don't really want any i just want to do that i just want to do that
every day perfect yeah i wouldn't honestly i wouldn't go through and change much my buddy
got a d double so i'd probably tell him not to drive that night yeah it'd be a dick move if i
didn't if i was like nope everything stays the same dude sorry i learned your lesson
trent you're gonna you're to get that D double early day.
Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't probably take a bigger limo, I guess.
I didn't even get to go in the limo because I was like quarterback in the whole thing.
So I guess that'd be one thing.
I would go in the limo.
Yeah.
You got to go in the limo.
Yeah.
It was such.
And the limo pulled up when the theater was like packed already.
So they got out like guns and roses or something.
It was pictures of Adam just getting out, like fanned out.
I think he's got a bottle in his hand.
It's just like, you know, what you could do is you could spend like a thousand years
mastering skateboarding.
Not that you haven't already.
And just, and just blow people away.
Film a new part earlier that day and be like, here, cup this in.
And then you're like, only tell like one person and be like here cut this in and then you're like
fight club style just slice it in like one person and be like yeah you got to put this in and then
everyone's like what that would be clutch and then you're just doing nija shit yeah you're
doing a christ air 900 all the tough customers are like he just boo-food us in front of everyone
in front of my family yeah Yeah, that would be it.
I'm sorry. I feel like we're going crazy long because of me.
That is my third pick.
You got to do that with the pushing 40s, pushing boardies.
I brought it up to him.
I think some of them are into it.
Charlie, putting it on you.
Ryan listens.
Film it. Run out the Hollywood theater.
Let me play the Jack Black role.
Run around that park in Glendale naked yeah yeah can i do the owen wilson yeah yep absolutely ian you know it's have you know what's intense about that jack
black role you're gonna have to gain some weight huh hell yeah dude and maybe lose some hair lose
some hair gain some weight i'm happy to do it you have more hair than he does it is outlandish right now um time for my third and fourth picks with my third pick i'm going to
take it's it's tough for me to pick a year i don't know exactly which year to pick but it's
definitely the first day of bridgetown and i'm gonna go with I don't know I'm gonna go with like seven David whatever when
you were at Zach you had to have done made it in by this point I think that was my last the eighth
one I did three of them just just a first day of the Bridgetown Comedy Festival yeah so I'm not
waking up incredibly hungover like that third day but you know what you're getting into you know you're
getting into it's like friday you maybe got a show at like two you know what i mean or like
but it's one of those days when you only have like two shows so you're not like
laying down with shit yeah god i love you like yeah you're right man sorry keep going no please
i was and then just like everything's in front of you. Like you're, you don't feel terrible from eating pizza and drinking beer and donut and
eating donuts like exclusively.
Like you still feel good,
but like you just feel,
you start drinking around like 1 PM and it's creeps up.
You never get too drunk.
And I would pick one of the nights where I DJed at the after party too.
I love doing that shit.
Yeah.
I just,
I remember that feeling when you're going to get your pat badge that first day oh my god so fucking jacked
looking in a little fucking tote bag for you know what you like a little shooter whatever they give
you some condoms a pair of scissors from the portland mercury that's right I didn't like it when people wore their badges
around their neck so in my mind I was like
I still want people to see it I still want people
to know strangers I want them to know I'm part of it
but I put it around my belt and hung it down like I was
a roe deer or something
I thought I was so
cool when I was doing that shit I'm just like
man I don't even need to flag this but
I'm still in my head I'm like you're still in it
you were flashing in the Chipotle people know i had that shit around my neck
dog yeah people used to do they do their shows with it on which was the big kicker and i'm like
take it off everybody knows you're in the festival you're doing it just had his his polo tucked into
his tack his khakis his lanyard, his little glasses.
The whole thing was a onesie.
His pens in his pockets.
Set list.
Yeah.
You're going to be up till 4 a.m.
You're going to be surrounded by friends.
You're in the middle of Portland, in like peak Portland.
Anything could happen.
Oh, man.
Just a fucking beautiful night.
When it was on Hawthorne?
It was on Hawthorne, dude.
Oh, shit.
It was just so exciting, too.
That whole street, you just keep walking down and you'd
see like 50 new friends yeah every it was it really was summer camp and you're just like
you're like i'm doing it for me coming from out of town so much you're like i'm doing it
like fuck you i'm not passing the punchline i'm fucking doing it like yeah i mean like oh man yeah
that shit was amazing so i'm taking first day of bridgetown
and then my next pick i'm taking las jagas yeah absolutely i'm not changing i'm not changing a lot
it was it was a perfect day but the fact that we're in las vegas and that wasn't the day we
drove there either that was it was the either. It was the second day.
It was the second day.
It was a full day.
So you're waking up in Las Vegas.
Anything could happen.
Yeah, man.
As I recall, you guys got those crazy Bloody Marys with like eight things coming out of them.
That shit had a crab claw in it.
Yeah, crab claw, cheeseburgers, all that shit.
That was the first time we got paid for doing this.
And I remember you gave David and I each like 600 bucks or something.
And I'm like, what?
Oh, that was the first money we got for A&E.
That's right.
Yeah.
And you gave it to us.
And I was like, God, about that.
And I tried to pay.
Dinner or lunch came out and it was whatever it was.
And I've tried to put 100 down on it.
You're like, well, don't go.
You know, don't light it on fire just yet i just wanted to get rid of it so bad like i'm picking this up that
would have been your whole per diem dude that was like too much yeah that was intense because i went
to momofuku that day right we had fried chicken and caviar for Oh God. That was when you said, when you held the sake up and you're like,
looks like cum.
And there's that.
She was right behind you.
And you're like,
well,
I don't know.
It does.
What,
what do you want?
Stand by that.
There's anything,
anything could have happened.
We had drugs.
We had money.
We were in Las Vegas.
We had to talk to Memphis bleak.
You talked to Memphis bleak. You talked to Jordan to memphis bleak you talked to memphis bleak you
talked to jordan farmer jordan i talked to jordan farmer he acted like he knew who i was there was
that pimp behind us there was a future concert that we didn't go to man pay was there anything
could have happened anything like yeah you could have just gone and like bet it all on black 50
you know and until it hits 10 times in a row. And then you got all this money.
You know what I mean?
Like anything could happen.
You would know the sports things that would happen in that day.
So you could engineer it.
So you just walked out.
Oh, yeah.
I bet I'm betting $100,000 on LeBron James scoring exactly 17 points that night.
And then it hits.
And then you walk out.
Oh, my God.
It was wide open.
You have the ability.
That would be intense. You knew all your shit was gonna hit and then you just get to watch us realize when it hits like oh my god yeah
holy shit how did you know everton was gonna score like whatever the fuck premier league games i was
betting on early like it just would have been i mean amazing i mean and like ultimately the day that you would want to
have most was the one we had which is what's beautiful about it but you could just there
was so much room to grow from that so you buy sean a whale bone of top shelf top shelf whale bone dude
there would be one of those days where you'd get us backstage somehow you'd be like yeah
how we get back there jay and beyonce want to come say hi to us before the show yeah i'd like make it so they got into
a car accident on the way to the concert but i saved them yeah oh you could orchestrate the
whole thing yeah oh man there's a way where that ends up where like you're on four four four
yeah yeah i'm on the album.
Was that before or after 4-4-4?
It was after, I think.
Oh, was it?
Yeah, because he did kill Jay-Z.
Never mind.
But I'm on the next one doing the talking that his mom did,
where I'm like, I saved Jay-Z from a car accident.
Sean was a very special child.
I knew he was a crip from the moment he was born So that's my pick
Sean Jordan time for your fourth pick
My fourth pick
And I guess I've been dancing around
Saying this but I can say it
I think Laura gave me the
I should say I know but she gave me the okay
So we have been
You know attempting
To get pregnant
And I'm going to start crying.
Hold on.
It was the day that I found out that she was,
like fully, after we got past everything.
Dude, there's no way I'm getting married
with any words coming out of my mouth.
Are you kidding me?
Oh, you're crying for sure, dude.
You haven't even told the rest of the story
where the day you're repeating
is when you
found out it was my kid yeah that's why we're gonna name it ian carmel senior
um yeah so i was i couldn't go and she had a checkup that she had to go to and i you know
it was just like nervous energy because what do you do and i was at i was out skating but just
kind of to occupy my brain and then uh she texted just like a, you know, all good or thumbs up or heart or something.
And I was, and the feeling of that
is something that I'll never,
you know, I never know that feeling again.
It was amazing.
And I just, I think I told a couple of kids there.
I was just like, we're pregnant, I'm having a kid.
You told a couple of children?
I think so.
Yeah, just a couple of random dudes
that I've been skating with
and then i just went on like a 13 year old i had this burst of energy like that was my spinach you
know and i just went off and skated killer and then you know just the rest of the day was just
like pure bliss it was so it was so cool and i think laura's in the bathroom listening by the
way you're taking that i just you're taking the day you found out you're having a baby and you just want because you just want to relive that
feeling over and over again i do want it was not you know there's nothing like it that i don't know
just you know that's it to put in perspective it made what's happening right now with our electric
not i don't care you know i'm just like yeah well there's
there's this there's this feeling in life and uh so that i would relive that till the rest of you
know i wouldn't change a thing even that's whatever thing traffic you just get different
kinds of chicken wings yeah we're not chicken wings as it were yeah it was you could think
of baby names uh we're not we're not saying any because i i made
the mistake of telling my mom a potential name and she's like oh i don't like that i'm like well
dog now if we name her that you're like i love david we're gonna name her david borianis though
yeah hell yeah but with the g though yeah you couldn't do it directly i understand
david gaboreanis it's more of a tip of the cap.
The baby's name is Ian Carmel Sr., dude, no matter what.
Boy, girl, whatever comes out.
The Aurora Borealis.
Oh, I like that.
Aurora Borealis.
Oh, we're going crazy.
Okay.
So, yeah, that feeling.
This is like your official announcement, right?
You haven't said it before on the pod, right? the no this is a reward for everyone who made it this far
sorry i'm so sorry it'll it'll it'll cucked it marissa's gonna get in the kitchen it'll
boil down to a consomme yeah anyway so uh moving right along thank you zach time for your fourth
pick fourth pick uh i'm gonna pick a day that Sean was definitely there for,
and it would be our friend Greg's wedding.
Because it was so crazy, though.
We woke up in New York City,
and the day that it happened was we needed to rent a car
to drive up to New Hampshire for his wedding.
This is the day that we all found out that none of us have credit cards so that no one could rent a car to drive up to new hampshire for his wedding this is the day that we all found out that none of
us have credit cards so that no one could rent a car greg was so mad none of you have a credit
card we're like nope it is the day of his wedding it is the day of his wedding and we were like yo
all your friends blew it and um so eventually we had to get, uh, another friend's older brother to leave his job, come
down, rent us a car.
We get to the, we get up to New Hampshire.
Oh, we saw a big pussy.
We also had to drive it like a block.
Wait a second.
We saw, uh, we saw a big pussy from the Sopranos at a gas station.
Yeah.
Gas station, Duncan.
Yeah.
It was Duncan donuts.
He called it Starbucks.
It was great. Then we got to New Yeah, it was Duncan Donuts. He called it Starbucks. It was great.
Then we got to New Hampshire, dropped off our stuff,
and on the way to the wedding, Shane Torres said,
you need to stop.
I need to wash my suit.
It's in question what happened at the laundromat,
but I recall him washing it he washed and dried his suit
in a laundry mat yes the whole kit and caboodle also one of the funniest things he was rapping
you know how shane does his gross raps yeah he was rapping like the whole way and gross and hammy out
so bad and i was i was laughing so hard because he was just like my butt
in your poop and hammy was just like oh and greg too they just they can't handle the gross it was
so tight oh man and so then shane washed his suit oh we drive to the wedding on a dirt road
car's all dirty shane gets out and leans on the car on his suit and his dirt everywhere
we looked at him and he looked right at that and he goes he goes don't you fucking say a word
and we're like and nobody did no because i'm like this is it this is where he kills you
if you say something oh man oh my god and then at the wedding greg's brother broke his hand he was supposed to play guitar at the wedding
broke his hand so he can't do it greg now has to ask his friend dan who is a spitfire this guy i've
never met dude and i've met some wild boys he's he was up there this guy is nuts and oh my god just just getting to relive all these emotions
with my friends and the way it turned out great but man it just was like a lot of turmoil and
fucking crazy shit and i would just love to relive that day over and over again to come to the wedding
if you played it right. That's true.
Absolutely.
We all got too scared to say anything.
We didn't even say anything to him.
We got scared.
I'm sure you could plan a few more pratfalls for Shane.
Make it so he like steps on a rake and falls in a puddle.
It was the most fun.
And we were just out in this crazy apple orchard property like where Greg's parents live.
Yeah.
It was one of those things where I'm like, well,'t be here big ass lobsters big ass new hampshire
lobsters wow yeah man alcohol was involved it was oh my god it was yeah we all and we all slept in
his house his mom woke us up at 6 a.m was like get the fuck out of here she didn't she didn't
want to sleep and we were like sleeping under the dining table we were like an infestation i took a shower outside
they built us a shower outside they built us a shower outside they didn't want us coming in
dirty heathen friends flew across the country it was it was fantastic that's a good call that's so
funny yeah that's amazing uh david time for your
fourth and then your final picks this one uh everybody was there i'm taking march 9th 2019
the day we took that picture in the street in front of canards oh after that all fantasy
everything weekend or during yeah it was like the second marissa was there it was like the second day of that weekend up and it was when we were all done we were all done with all of our work
we'd done two record two podcasts two uh what's the name of the fuck rev hall shows yeah we're
all done yeah the day where we ate at canards is how i remember boogie was there i i can't remember exactly but we were
playing pool afterwards and ian just kept telling laurie he's like you guys are so great together
it's just so so you guys are fantastic i just i was on a vibe just me alcohol in a good mood
there wasn't anything extra in my system and i was just like yeah i was digging that day i don't
think i've ever been that like drunk on camaraderie and just like, whoa, this thing
and all these sold out shows and it's working and it was just nuts.
We were in Steamburgers.
Nan Pei was there.
It was great.
It didn't feel good.
We were in Haim or something standing in the middle of the street and Lance was like, get
out there.
And I'm like, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
We just run out in the street.
It felt like though it was like, yeah, hell yeah.
This is when we take pictures in the middle of the street now.
That's what we do. We're middle of the street. Now that's what we do.
We're middle of the street.
Yeah.
Super fun.
I never felt more like Portland was my city than that day.
Probably like the best, you know, never felt like Portland was more my city.
I was going to say like, I, that was, you feel like we did.
I mean, that's like one of the biggest venues in town.
And then the Doug for,
I've always had fantasies of doing a show there.
And then we sold out for shows.
It,
I mean,
not,
I sound like a prick,
not to,
but just the feeling of that,
knowing that it's like,
cool,
this is why all those open mics and working a full-time job.
And like those shows that I never wanted to do,
but you did because you have to the goal where
everyone's like you know something's gonna happen it happened the vision yeah the vision was clear
like oh this was the right decision i did the right absolutely absolutely and i got to share
it with my favorite people on the planet and yeah i want to say adam was here too i want to say that
i can't remember i know he can't we're it again, too. Maybe as soon as this fall.
Who knows?
Absolutely.
Man.
Yeah.
I remember Sue Carmel nailing that pick in the fast food.
She picked the Costco hot dog.
That place went fucking nuts.
Yeah.
That was the same draft that David picked a ball pit when we drafted fast food.
Is it not?
Yeah.
Stand behind it.
Yeah.
I bet you do.
That might have been the day before.
We did the duck for two days in a row. That's true. We did I bet you do. That might have been the day before. We did the Doug Furrer two days in a row.
That's true.
We did do it two days.
It's hard to say either way.
Ivan Carmel made a pick.
Sue Carmel made a pick.
The green room was tight.
The whole thing runs together, but this is the...
Yeah.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
God, that was dope.
Yeah, it was just amazing.
It's just like...
It's one of those...
Yeah.
It's like... It's not that Bridgetown wasn't bridgetown was different but this was like this was like
art you know what i mean like and marissa was there marissa was there like yeah that was gonna
be my pick oh shit oh damn damn that's is that the first time anybody's ever snaked you uh no
i've been snaked before okay serpent. I remember there was a picture of
all you guys and David pulled his pants
down in front of
Doug Furr. Oh, yeah!
Remember that one? He sure did.
The butt just flagging.
I had to search for that photo.
I remember someone taking it and I had to
post on message boards pleading that
they share it with me because I really wanted that photo.
It's still as funny as it was that day to me.
That was one of my favorite, to put a button, sorry, I know we're trying to go, but to put a button on it.
One of my favorite things still to do at a live show where I know that if anybody has come to see us or, you know, me specifically.
One of my favorite things to do is to go into the line when they're waiting and just like thank like look every person in the face be like thank you you're amazing you're
amazing and just i did that there and it felt so good to do just to walk down the line and everyone
was in such a good mood so many good vibes flying around that place man i love i love you guys so
much i could start i could start bawling right now i really really could. I don't love that angle of you.
I almost did this a couple times with the
balls.
Like I said it down, I'm like, nope.
You kept it there for a while.
You did it earlier and I saw David's face
change.
It's just like, god damn it, dude.
I didn't mean to.
You just let it sit right there
for like a minute. I was like, whoa.
I don't think we need a lightning round.
I think we ended there.
I think we ended right there.
I think it's a good cap.
I think it's a good cap.
Yeah.
We don't need a fifth round.
That's fucking beautiful.
Uh,
that was Marissa's pick.
We have so many more on the list,
but we might even just have to draft this one again.
This was so great.
Yeah.
I don't even,
thank you so much.
Thank you for having me.
We want to hear from you.
Hit us up at all Fantasy Pod on Twitter,
allfantasypodcast at gmail.com.
Shout out to the AFE Patreon.
Shout out to the AFE Shaslackity.
Shout out to the AFE subreddit.
Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
Shout out to everyone listening.
Thank you so much for fucking with us.
Shout out to Frankie Ocean.
Shout out to Sid the Dude.
Shout out to Haji Beats.
Shout out to Laura's new husband, The Plumber,
and more important than all of that tune in again next week
to another brand new episode of all
fantasy everything
BooFoodShare that was a hate gun podcast