All Fantasy Everything - Groundhog Day Days (w/ Zak Toscani, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

Over and over and over and over, like a monkey with a miniature cymbal. The gang is joined by Count Zakula to draft days they'd want to get stuck in like the movie Groundhog Day.Episode Guest:Zak Toscani  IG: @zaktoscani (Banned on Twitter)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbags, watchalongs, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting Groundhog Day. Because every day feels the same, we might as well pick a day that we actually want to relive over and over and over again.

Our guest today is stand-up comedian and friend of not only us, but of the podcast and the entire All Family, Zach Toscani. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and joining me as always are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Hit the theme. Welcome to All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that has only not had a boner on our 17th birthday. And we're not 17 yet, so we've always got a boner which was uh just for those listening home was just something sean jordan said in a context wouldn't help it normally doesn't with a conversation like that absolutely not uh here we are here we are

i'm in my bed dude are you is that your bed right now this is this is the bed dude shug night shug night comforter look at that red why are you recording from your bed there's a plumber in the house damn he ran you out in the basement yeah he came he kicked the door down proposed to laura she said yes and uh much to my chagrin i've been banished to the bedroom yeah he's a union man yeah yeah he's got insurance and stuff i you know what do i have you're a roommate now that's what you have as two roommates yeah she's like go upstairs and take care of the cats until they die i was like much like val kilmer did to share you got boo food on there yeah another pre just pre-recording thing that sean told us was that uh

his queen well this is not this is inaccurate but his queen read the val kilmer book and sean told us that val kilmer says in that book that he boo food share but immediately corrected himself that val kilmer didn't say he boo food share he just had sex with share he did not give her a french blowjob no well share actually another chapter is that share has two butts so there's no way to not boo-foo her that's a whole other chapter in a book about val kilmer yeah he spends a lot it should be about share yeah it's a lot of share anatomy yeah it's val kilmer on share we when the power went out i can't remember if i said. When the power went out, I can't remember if I said this, when the power went out, we read to each other. So she read me a chapter out of Val Kilmer's book and I read her.

How did that work? Because you can't read. We put a candle on one of those metal trays, just a tray. It doesn't have to be metal, but a tray, and then held the book in front of the candle. And she read, very well read a chapter out of that book to me, and then I did my version of reading out loud to her. Not very good, but I'm working on it. Reading the ads in Thrasher magazine?

Yeah, just reading spy lines. Reading the back of the boob DVD? Two vixens. Says here Johnny Knoxville's going to drink horse jizz. two vixens johnny knoxville's gonna drink horse jizz you try to remember jackass movies to her and then i think i think the next one they did there's one where simon woodstock pisses on a cop car there's a maybe it's wait no wait wait they're in Japan. And I think the little one was dressed up as a rabbit. No, no, that's not right.

That's not right. Rip Torn or Rip Taylor's there. I forget who. There's footage of one of them, Boofoo and Sharon. I just don't know which one. Oh, man. Dude, Bal Kimmerer is nuts. I just watched the dial-in with Dr. Moreau For the first time

The 90s one with him and Marlon Brando That has the wildest IMDB trivia And story behind it Was it you sending Marlon Brando Was bananas on set from what I gather He was a crazy dude

In all these movies He was a super interesting guy but they like they didn't get along on set so they never talked and then in the movie val kilmer does a marlon brando impression and apparently that was not okay that was really not okay yeah is he just like he does his voice He does him being like walking around all weird. It was like, whoa, this is a crazy energy. I'm a streetcar named Desire. Dude, long story short, the director.

So the director was the one who like had the whole vision for the reboot and stuff. He got fired after four days. And they like people from the whatever. I don't know. The producers had people like make sure he gets to the airport make sure he gets on the plane they dropped him off at the airport he did not get on the plane he went into the wilderness and just lived off of weed and fruit and then found his way back to the production and dressed up as an extra and was an extra for the rest of the movie without anyone's knowledge what's the director yeah you must have did you tweet these or send them to us because this is all familiar to me and i know that i think i said yeah i think i did something uh i talked about it on instagram a little bit

but it was just unbelievable i love shit like that that's amazing you're the one who hit me so go ahead sean no you go ahead i'll fucking dude i will i've driven up there this year i'll drive back up i'll run a dodge charger and drive through the front room your house obviously it might have to the plumber and come up to your bedroom you have to get past the plumber the new new man. I'll boo-foo you wearing fooboo. Wow, I never knew how close those were to each other.

I always knew. Boo-foo through the fooboo. Buy us, forgive us. Oh, man. buy us forgive us oh man my dad have i ever told you guys my dad tried to cop a fubu shirt at a ross and i had to shut him down i tell you he was plowed in minneapolis downtown minneapolis first ross i ever saw and he's that was the first ross He comes to me with this mad big FUBU shirt and he's like, what do you think? I was like, well, dad, couple reasons

why not. I explained it to him. You were wearing your Africa pendant hoodie and you were like, dad, dad, dad, you can't wear that. Crazy bald head. You can't wear that.

Boy. crazy bald head you can't wear that but knowing your dad that was like a big moment for him if he would have worn fubu you know yeah i mean he i think he ended up getting a big dog shirt which was definitely well yeah the move he was a big dog. He wasn't staying on the porch. No, yeah, he ran with the big dogs. Rarely was he on the porch. Yeah, dude. I don't know if he was ever podcasting from the bed, but Sean Jordan is. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram.

A lot of those. Shonda Replay, dude. Shonda Rhymes drake in that state farm commercial drake yeah drake from state farm in bed dude you got the red you got the red uh jake from state farm covers on you dude kill that day red kill that day red i was telling so laura's got like red ash sheets that she'll have on sometimes and every time it happens i just call the bed i'm like we're sleeping in shug night's bed and for some reason just rubs her the wrong way and she never thinks it's funny like i've even broken it down i'm like suge knight well she did have that

previous relationship with suge knight so she did date suge knight for a while oh weird your wife to be doesn't want to sleep in a bed with suge knight that's crazy what if what if your what if your girl did say like i just letting you know that i did used to date shug night it was like 10 years ago but i dated shug night would that matter for any of you yeah i'd be like yes i would have well i'd have to know how they ended yeah am i break up with her? You went to prison. That's not good. I got to get out of here. No, that's not good enough. No.

Especially if that's why they broke up. Absolutely not. I'm not the next guy after Suge Knight for so many reasons. You're the flex guy after Suge Knight. You're the one she loves. He comes over to beat you up and you're like making an omelet. Hey, good to see you good morning goat cheese and cow cheese i hope that's not weird for you

they're sparkling they're still whatever you need pal whatever you need buddy yeah no i'm not are you gonna put some probudo in the samba is that cool no i'm not dating a woman after she dated chick my do you want a house fubu shirt everyone in the house has to wear you got some slides and a fubu shirt for you we just don't want to bring the outside in you know the only thing my father left to me it is interesting of laura to go with those blood red sheets though it does you make your bed look a little bit like a 90s r&b like like a maxwell video a little bit yeah yeah i've said about everything you can say about it like it makes me think that kelly roland has sat on

those sheets and excel sheet texted somebody oh we didn't know the technologies what do you what is where do they are they comfortable are they silk damn near uh they're comfy yeah yeah dude i bought some pillowcases very recently for the long hair it's wonderful oh yeah and then i bought a duvet and a new duvet cover and the duvet cover is burnt orange umber they call it it's a burnt umber yeah yeah there it is i'm making moves on the bed front what color are the pillowcases pillowcases are great they like don't i had to kind of cram fucking cram a pillow in the case and zip it shut but man sleeping just because it doesn't give as much friction so my hair isn't all like out of fucking whack when i wake up which is nice i love that you're a hair

guy now yeah i need something to focus on it's like my bonsai tree you know every morning i just trim like two or three go about my day i had to become a i had to become a bandana guy i love it hey i can't because i can't become tennis head headband guy that's you you got that on lockdown but there's too much hair it gets into my fucking face when i go out when i go out and get active yeah yeah i'm saying though you're not gonna cut it right no i don't think i'm gonna cut it no don't cut oh yeah don't if i hit it with the hairspray it goes up though which i kind of like i look a little bit like barton fink like a little hairspray oh yeah okay yeah okay like a tutoro it becomes very tutoro when i hairspray i got hairspray dude you have hairspray

yeah it's igk brand too which are my initials oh i thought really yeah i thought you said ugk it's usually it's also it's a food i'm gonna start calling you ian gun kelly what do you think about that i don't like that you know what here here you go i like his new song or his maybe it's not new ian gun kelly does that work i don't like any iteration of gun kelly have you heard his song it's kind of like a punk rock song no he has one song that i do like with mcconin or no that's a little that's a little peep i take that back i don't i don't have a mgk song i like i was talking about a little peep i'm sorry i don't wish machine gun kelly any sort of specific ill but i don't i don't care to cross paths with him at any point i don't want his music entering my life i don't want my comedy entering his life i did like i would just prefer to be in different oceans than

machine gun kelly but did you see him star in the hit movie the dirt i did not i did not until they cashed on doing the dirt no i haven't seen the dirt it's i could not finish it i think we were talking about this the other day it was like we were just talking about 45 minutes in i was like this is just it's not even like it was just all insanity so it didn't seem crazy anymore after 45 minutes because there wasn't any like well this is because they're actual human beings this is other stuff they had to deal with well how do you think motley crew feels that was their life zach didn't they produce it i mean it's still a movie well

it's pretty accurate from what i read and if i read the book i actually read the dirt oh man did they write that book they they would have you believe they wrote it, but I don't. I think it was... Is that a ghostwriter? I'd love to imagine you just at the midnight screening of the dirt at the movie theater and talking to the kids like, it's actually very accurate to what the book was.

It looks true to the text, gentlemen. And he actually did Boofoo Cher, so that's in the movie. Since you bring that up, when we went to Predator and we were talking about how funny it would be if Ian just walked in in his full Predator garb and just sat in the

front and was elbowing people like you pretty Predator head or what. You excited? I think about that more than you think. Yeah, you pretty excited for Predator? I'm Predator to the bone, boy. For me, this is an ongoing relationship. Yeah, yeah.

What do you think? I'm not in the AVP camp. I'm Predator, for sure. You think we're going to get more Predator backstory? Did you guys see that one with the pianist when he was in Predator? I don't need the pianist in predator you know i'm talking about i can't believe the snack bar didn't hook up some kind of predator promotion that's crazy it's right there like green butter on your popcorn or something

calamari you know just something that makes sense for the predator heads yeah you know it's that kind of podcast You know, it's that kind of podcast. Calamari popcorn. It's that kind of podcast. Yeah. I would do that. I would eat calamari mixed with popcorn. So would I.

A hundred percent. And then there's like a hot marinara. You can dump on it. Ooh. Yeah. That sounds really good. I love a good fucking Italian calamari. Mm-hmm.

I want the Italian-American calamari. Give me that deep-fried shit. I don't want the, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, calamari i want the italian american calamari give me that deep fried shit i don't want that you know what i mean yeah yeah you don't want the pan fried i like the pan fried i will absolutely eat the pan fried but give me the give me the fucking like pretend we're in rhode island kind of shit that's what i want yeah yeah i got you i want a maritime italian american community deep frying squid and giving it to me with a side of like spicy marinara yeah i get you oh it sounds so gross okay you're a maniac shut up dude have you tried calamari i did try calamari in minneapolis one time i remember vividly i bet you if i gave you some calamari and you i said it was a new type of fucking boneless chicken wing. You would cram that shit.

Yeah, dude. I bet you would cram that shit. An ice cold beer, dude. What if we were in San Francisco? Ice cold anchor steam beer. Yes. Plate of fuck. We're in North Beach.

Big plate of fucking deep fried calamari with a spicy marinara. Sea breeze just nipping at your nose. It's 61 degrees out, dude. I'll see you guys at Milk Bar after your shitty seafood. You have a windbreaker on. Does that change things? You have a windbreaker. That changes a lot of things.

I'll see you guys at Alcatraz. I'm going on the tour. It says security on the back for some reason. Yeah, but you're not security. I'm one of those guys. It says FBI on the back, but female butt inspector on the front. No, funny butt inspector. I know you're bethroved.

Yeah, yeah. I'm a funny butt inspector. I heard Val Kilmer did a funny butt inspection one time. That was a boo-foo and you know it. That would be, hey, you want to go upstairs and do a funny butt inspection? Or downstairs, I don't care. Is that not what Emil is? You want to go back to my room and do a funny butt inspection?

Excuse me, I have to leave dinner early. It's my birthday, so she's's probably gonna let me do a funny butt inspection and then i go last night well the butt inspection was hilarious if you want to know i'll tell you oh my goodness honestly i think they're gonna take the the case back to trial it was a funny butt inspection it's kind of mistrial because of the funny butt inspection uh john what do you got going okay is there anything you want to point people towards when what's when are we gonna get it's something dank that i'm stoked about dude i'm putting the pressure on you on air i was i was actually gonna email marissa later today and he was on ask him ask

some stuff about it so uh yeah uh i'll tell you what i'll tell you we point people towards the mortal combat trailer yes i'm in i haven't watched it yet is it that good it makes me feel like the most woke bro-ish i've ever felt in my life because i you know we refer to ourselves as sort of woke bros mortal combat woke no but like we you know like i'm a bro but i'm not an asshole if you know we've i said i said i see and it just makes me feel so much like a bro when i watch i'm just like oh voice of zero's going to kill people. Dude, yeah. I remember I was talking about this last night with my roommate and her friend.

That when the, what was it, 95 Mortal Kombat came out. I saw that in theaters so many times. And I remember going ape shit in the theater. Like not even sitting down, just running around and kicking and shit. You would do that movie. And then for girls, was spice world but you got people got up and like the spice world dance it became a mortal combat you were just like get over here like in the middle of the theater when you're like sour patch kids get over here yeah you leave you leave the theater and you're like i know somebody

can make fire with their hands i know it that's the vibe you get when you left theater and you're like, I know somebody can make fire with their hands. I know it. That's the vibe you get when you left that movie. You're like, it has somewhere. I don't know about it, but somewhere. When that fucking song hit, oh my God, it was like cocaine for children. I was nine years old when I saw that movie and I had to leave the theater because Goro was so scary.

Oh yeah, dude. He was terrifying. I love a little tiny Ian being scared of Goro. I was like, no. This isn't as a queer film as I was promised. Like your three-piece suit on. I feel a queer panic overtaking me. Mother, Goro has a queer amount of arms.

You have a little carnation. No, indeed. No, indeed. Mother Goro has a queer amount of arms You have a little carnation No indeed No indeed You just grab another kid Like a strange other kid and you're like we should leave Like you're doing him a favor Agreed If they don't have The fucking original theme song and the new one

That's a huge missed opportunity They have to right It wasn't in the new one that's a huge missed opportunity huge they have to right it wasn't in the trailer oh check this out someone on twitter they said you know who plays uh god i want to say shang tsung in the new mortal combat wow sophia vergara oh we're gonna need a tight, tight bustle on you. That's where Lau's been. Filming the new Mortal Kombat.

We finally found Lau. He's been on the set of Mortal Kombat. I would love it if Batman shows up in the middle of the movie and he's like, there's Lau. There you are. There's Lau. He just comes in and says, get over here a little bit lower.

Get over here. Scorpion starts crying. Yeah, I have visceral memories of playing that game, too, because I would go over to a friend's house in Hawaii, and his dad did not like white people, so any time his dad came home, I had to hide in the closet, and it was... You had to play as Johnny Cage and just let you had to play as johnny cage and just

like any of them you weren't allowed to touch the controller i just press no buttons dude jack's in the trailer they show sub-zero freeze his arms off it looks gnarly yeah dude i gotta see this fucking trailer it's a great trailer all i saw today was the fucking ted cruise thing pretty silly oh he's in mortal combat too he's in more he is that's why it takes place in cancun is what not a lot of people know he's in it yeah he gets pretty far by filibustering that's why that's what he cut his hair for was for the filming you know what i watched last night that was really good

was on on apple plus which i know is one of the also rams of streaming platforms but wolf walkers which is a animated movie made by your people sean the irish uh i believe they started they must have started production in the 70s for god damn potato flingers figured something out i like it it is a whiskey stained potato uh no it's really really good it's like it's ira i think it was made by actual irish people dude so you'll really like it but like it's an irish story it's animated it's beautiful you should watch it apple plus if you don't have it i will share my password with those of you in here but it's right i watch whatever i watch shrek you'd be sure to tell watch your ass yeah i'm getting seasick watching your ass yeah dude you gotta watch your ass after that ass inspection yeah that funny button funny

button inspection my sean jordan impression right now how do you like it how do you like getting ass after that ass inspection. Yeah, that funny butt inspection. That's my Sean Jordan impression right now. How do you like it? How do you like getting fucking stuck to the wall, dude? How do you like that? To the listeners at home, I was... From the window to the wall. Ah, skeet skeet. David Borey is here.

CoolGuyJoke77 on Instagram. The G is silent on Twitter. How are you, buddy? Back in LA for this recording. Back in la-la land. I'm doing good, man. I'm just hanging in there. You know what I mean? City of stars, dude.

City of stars, loud and proud. City of SARS right now. City of SARS. Yeah. Tall as I can be. Yeah, I'm good, man. You know, I don't have anything to promote. Oh, no.

I'm filming something as we speak that'll be out in a couple of months. Mortal Kombat 2. Mortal Kombat. Yeah. Turn around. I'm Jax's brother, Blacks. Blacks. Blacks, a Blacker Jax.

Yeah. Same shit, but it's my feet. I just break my foot off in people's asses. The least funny butt inspection. Kick them across the screen. I'm just doing 10 minutes before the fight starts. You at the Mortal Kombat. Are you sure you want a comedian to open this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I don't have any material about this. None of you love it. Just, you know, it's Minecraft. They're cool. Yeah, they're cool. They're cool. Oh, mention Kyle.

He's like kind of the one that we all make fun of here. Oh, no, no microphone. Mortal corporate. You brought him up. Oh, mortal corporate. Oh, that's so funny. Oh, they all do feel like that. Roast our boss.

Mortal corporate. Finish him. Tommy. Cicely. Her paws are real dickhead. Mortal corporate. Oh, man. Silly boys. Janine's an alcoholic who won't stop stealing from

petty cats, right? Or Sean, Big Wave Dave, you could do moral combat. Just tell stories from the Bible. That's what the Bible is, do moral combat yeah just tell stories from the bible that's what the bible is is moral combat so yeah watch out for that watch out for me watch out for leviticus watch out for me and leviticus he's he's the guy who cuts my hair he's a pretty cool dude he's dominican but i don't hold that against him uh zach discontani is here yo suspended from twitter zach tuscani on instagram yeah i'm only allowed on one platform i was getting too powerful free the tuscan blacklisted free tuscani dude

you're really kicked off twitter huh i don't know They haven't responded to my... Well, I filed an appeal from my lawyer's advice and I haven't heard back. I'm his lawyer. Mike Malloy said he had his best people working on it. I'm surprised that hasn't been cleared up yet. Oh, the dudes down at Dunkin' Donuts? All the female bartenders are

doing their best. I got my lawyer Blacker Jacks on it. Best beat in the game. Coldest beat in the game. You do not want to hear from Leviticus, my lawyer. It is fucking over. Salino and Leviticus, dude? Yeah.

I will tell you, it's been nice not going to check it just because it's like been taken out of my hands. I'm like, Oh wow. Yeah. Like day to day. I just don't really stress about it as much. There's nothing on there.

There's nothing on there that any of us need to be reading right now. But I never seen, I feel like I would have seen the moral combat trailer though. If I was on there. Now that's a good point.'s true so i gotta do my own outside me and sean have to start like a pen pal program he just sends me what's hot from twitter i'm the wrong guy for that it's gonna be a bunch of people talking about bufu and share yeah i'll tell you misremembered anecdotes about val kilmer hashtag boopoo and chair hashtag pop dogs for candace that's gonna be the new level of our patreon is sean will write you a letter with misremembered recollections of val kilmer's career that would be something funny like

i'll just give you a fact that's not true so not really a fact for 50 a month you went to to the Sean Jordan pen pal program. It's just going to be him like, did you know that Richard Pryor boo-food the Monopoly man? Yeah, they're all going to be about. It's all boo-food. It's boo-food trivia. Yeah, all about boo-food though.

They call it Popeye's chicken because the first guy to eat it was getting boo-food at the time. Yeah. His eyes popped. He said, wow, that's a spicy pie. eyes chicken because the first guy to eat it was getting boo food at the time yeah there's ice pop he said wow that's a spicy guy he was like oh that chicken for popeyes what have you been up to lately man what do you what do you got what do you got to tell the people about i've been i've been existing i've been hanging out i was was in Denver for about 10 days. Got to hang out with David.

Went to a fucking cabin. That was great. It looked beautiful. It was very beautiful. I made a big faux pas with the host, but it was fine. Did you not bring a bottle of red wine? No. No, it was so funny.

You can tell them about it. Was your butt inspection not funny enough? Well, we had been talking. We got tell them about it. Was your butt inspection not funny enough? It was. Well, we had been talking. We got there, I don't know, early afternoon. And we had been talking all night. And at this point, it's like, I don't know, 10, 11 at night. And somehow I got on the topic of pet peeves.

And I was like, so I just started going off. And then I was like, you know, I really don't like when people like after someone dies like after grandma dies they're like i see ladybugs every time i think of her i see ladybugs and i'm like i don't if there's a ladybug in the winter i'll believe it otherwise that's so fucking stupid and he was going in i was going hard and the lady the host taylor who was having us was laughing so hard and she just showed me her hand and she had a ladybug tattoo that she got for her grandma you have to be kidding yes yes with her sister right her sister had it oh it was so funny you put both your feet in your mouth. Zach was like, well, fuck me. You want to sleep outside?

Yeah, I was like, I'll just go sleep outside in the snow. It's fine. Oh, it was so funny. He sat in the frozen lake like, ah! I deserve this! Man. She took it well, though. I mean, she was cracking up. Everyone handled it really well, and David nailed it.

He was like, sometimes it's just as funny as when everything goes exactly wrong yeah yeah because he was building it up he was so mad he was like it's fucking sick she had a ladybug you think you like saw the ladybug tattoo and on some subconscious level you put two and two together and started just started talking god i hope that's not true because what does that say about me my subconscious is like burn it down i just want to ruin something beautiful yeah oh man yeah it's really funny but we got invited to i got invited to dinner at their place later so it's okay we're good there you go you're good you're good yeah yeah oh we saw a bald eagle i never told anybody oh yeah on the pocket we saw a bald eagle like in like downtown denver i just pull my shirt up and there's a full bald

eagle tat my dad you guys saw it again every time you see a bald eagle every time i see somebody like a large man in fubu though i do think of your dad yeah i've seen some bald eagles at the oregon coast i feel like wow yeah i'd never seen one like outside of a zoo before and it was crazy it was pretty high up but from further away they're even more stark just like the bright white head and then like yeah basically like a dark brown body it was crazy time a little maga hat yeah yeah every time i see a bald eagle with a fifth of jack i'm like that's sean's dad there he is tiny little that would be if you took like a bald eagle for your dead relative that's a bold move like yeah just you know every time i see a bald eagle i think that's what i'm saying

some people have to pick some better it's always always just bugs. Now I'm going to get going again. I can't do that. You're revving him up. Every time I see Forrest Whitaker, dude, I know that's my grandpa. He loved The Last King of Scotland. He's a big Ghost Dog fan. Every time I see Forrest Whitaker in a Best Buy parking parking lot i know that's my cousin oh you did see him in the best by parking lot yes i did dude having a great time having you bought the tv i've

never seen anyone have have a good time in a best by parking yes just him and the geek squad man yeah tighten it up i love these geeks was it that HDMI cable? All right. I should call you guys the joke squad. You guys are funny. I'm Ian Carmel. Add Ian Carmel on Twitter. Add Ian Carmel on Instagram. Add Ian Carmel on Jewish.

Oh, I know. I did this last week. I'm doing it again. I'm still on Jewish Strava app, dude. Bike riding, dude. Riding bikes. Did a 15 miler a couple days ago. Damn.

Rode around the zoo. Griffith Park. Like, rode past the zoo griffith park like road past the zoo the old zoo hit 30 miles an hour on my bike damn was there animals in the zoo is there is there a zoo in l.a ian was going there to protest zoos and he didn't know that it wasn't wait you're talking about a zoo that actually i thought the one in griffith was uh no longer functioning no it's still there's still an active zoo there. There's an old one and there's an active one. Yeah. Well, you learn something new every day. Yeah. I went in there to kill and eat a penguin and I succeeded.

I think it's Eric DeDorian has a joke where he goes, you know, if you cut a penguin, it's just more penguin. And it just always struck me as so funny because he's like, I always thought it was like an eraser or something. It's so funny because he's like i always thought it was like an eraser or something it's so funny when he that's hilarious that is hilarious so funny i'm sorry if it's not eric but somebody whoever has that joke is just so i've never have thought about that but you're like do they have guts or is it just solid penguin i think it's probably just solid penguin all the way through it looked like they're made of neoprene yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, they look like peeps to me. Yeah. I just want to bite them. I know.

I've never been able to, I never got to touch one, but I can't imagine what it would feel like. They're covered in feathers, by the way. Yeah. Really? Yeah. They look very little feathers. Well, now we're talking about Ian's jeans fit.

Yeah. Whoa. That's why I ride my bike. It's like, yeah, yeah. I feel like the wind man you're rocking those zoltan jeans yeah denim's chapter one of that story but this is this is a long book denim feathers beadwork turquoise all right oh my god i don't think i could i would lose my mind if i saw someone wear beaded pants i don't think i could i would lose my mind if i saw someone wear beaded pants

i don't think i could i don't want my nuts rubbing against beads all day i'm just don't get my don't don't fucking play my game dude yeah dude don't pierce your jeans i guess don't get don't pierce i got jean piercing i smudge my jeans every morning dude i take them out i'm really into jean piercing. My jeans been on Ash Wednesday, dude. All the time. You just get a big hoop. You just get big, like Jennifer Lopez hoops.

My jeans spend a week in Taos, New Mexico without me. A guy comes and picks them up on a motorcycle. They ride bitch on a motorcycle to Taos, spend a week there, and then come back changed. Did you guys ever- So no, I don don't wash them that's how they get cleaned adam reminded me of this did you guys ever call the back seats of cars left and right nut yeah my voice cracked did you ever call like left nut right nut no because you call it when you're calling you call shotgun and then somebody calls left nut and right nut yeah because if not you have to sit lucky pierre we used to call it the hurt locker too in the middle lucky pierre yeah was the middle yeah was that did anyone else have that no that's beautiful though absolutely not that's awesome there must have been a dude named lucky pierre oh weird was he a bank robber in the 20s and that's

where he would get in the getaway? I had no idea. I think there was an amorous French pervert named Lucky Pierre who always tried to sit in the middle so he could be touching as many people as possible and every time he got back there, he was like, oh, Lucky Pierre.

He put his hands on the knees of the people to the left and right. Oh, like he was calling him, like his name was Pierre, but he'd be like, Lucky Pierre. Oh, Lucky Pierre. I am the meat of the croque-monceau. Oh, man, that's so funny. That's what I think.

I think that's the backstory of the Lucky Pierre journey. I never even thought about it. I guess I never really thought about it that deep. I am, watch me on the Late Late Show. I will be back on air by the time this happens listen to all fantasy everything uh join me on riding bikes and shit like that also i've been reading hella books lately and if you want to join me by by now i will probably be done with uh with uh uh slouching towards bethlehem by Joan Didion, which I'm really loving so far. I just finished the remains of the day by Kazuro Ishigawa,

which is fucking great. And, uh, yeah, I read welcome to the goon squad. Jennifer Egan, check that out. Just I'm tossing out book recommendations.

Willy nilly, a secret history by, uh, the author. I forget her name right now, but she was great too. There's an iBook that you should read and it's called the dirt. It's on Netflix. I'm appalled an ibook oh you meant e-y-e book ibook oh yeah not an internet

book an ibook why do you think you read how do you think you read what part of your body sign language dude would you also proceed with your eyes he gives it to laura and laura reads it oh man yeah i didn't think it all the way through a lot of these jokes i don't i just you know i thought you meant i thought you were giving me a kindle wreck no no i didn't do kindles then my last recommendation homegoing by yagyasi which is fucking great which is really good but yeah read books with me i'll tweet about what book i'm going to read and if you want to join in we can talk about it uh and that goes for all of you as well well i'm fucked anyways today we are gathered here now for me to sell just sort of lightly flex kind of humble brag about how many books i've been reading during pandemic but also

to fantasy draft groundhog day days now to explain that it is days from our lives that we would like to go back and repeat over and over and over again if we had to pick a day to do that. Much like the movie Groundhog's Day. Also like the movie Palm Springs. Live, Die, Repeat. You know, which went a movie by many names.

Edge of Tomorrow. Did all of us, Ian and I, I know watched Groundhog Day on Groundhog Day this year. Did either one of you? I think I watched it maybe a day before or a day after. I was tweeting that. I was texting Zach just quotes from it. Oh, that's right. It's a funny movie, though.

I had to rewind the part. Zach pointed out to me how funny the line is from Ned when he goes, Ned, dated your sister for a little while until you told me not to. Dated your sister Nancy Pat until you told me not to. Got shing sister Nancy Pat until you told me not to. Got shingles real bad.

I'm picturing Bill Murray's character being like, don't date her anymore. Yeah. It just is such a dry tone and him being like, all right. Now, the way we determine

the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you. We throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Zach wins. Zach throws the scissors to both of you on rock. You guys double up, scissors, shoot. Zach wins.

Zach throws the scissors to both of your rocks. You guys double up, which means Zach is the winner. Now, Zach, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do that, I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question.

Have any of you gentlemen ever played the game Dig Dug? David, don't act like you're not paying attention. All right. Have you ever played Dig Dug? Are you talking? You know, I'm aware of it. Talking about the Atari Dig Dug? David, don't act like you're not paying attention. Have you ever played Dig Dug? Are you talking? You know, I'm aware of it. Talking about the Atari game? I think it was Nintendo.

But anyway, you dig. So the point is you have to evade these, I don't know, creatures that are trying to get you. And you want to get rocks to fall on them. So what you do is you dig all the way down. So you're at the bottom of the screen. And then you dig kind of right to left and get them following you. then you go up a little bit and then you dig left to right and then up a little bit and right to left and you just kind of dig in sort of a serpentine motion and they follow you the whole time and then you get up to the top and then you dig left to right

and then the ground is so thin that a rock then falls and kills this thing that was following you the rock or a rock god if i knew how to program i'd go put the rock space iraq is it next to iran iraq iran i married huh that's a joke from saved uh from married with children that i've remembered for decades for some reason basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now Zach, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I am going to go exactly with what Zoom has presented to me. That means David goes first,

I go second, Sean goes third, Ian goes fourth. Hot corner. I kind of like Sean Goh as a name. Will you start calling me Shongo? Shongo. Probably not.

All right. Will you guys call me Thrasher? Will you call me Thrasher? Yeah. I'll call you Thrasher. Thrasher or Thrasher? Thrasher. Or Thursher.

Like a wheat Thrasher? Or like a Thrasher shark? Like a machine? Thursher. Got the kickflip. Make your booty go crack. Thursher. No. No. a wheat like a machine thurshire got the kickflip make your booty go crack no no no i won't call you that now i was gonna i'm not gonna do that got a candle going oh what flavor oregon homesick oregon homesick it does it does not there's these brands of like

homesick candles that are like it's it's like. Does it smell like when I barfed all over? I was visiting. No, it doesn't smell like Austin. It smells like your apartment on. What was it? Ash on ash. Yeah.

It smells like Shane using my fucking body wash and then lying about it. Just like when Kelly LeBrock comes out of the weird science bathroom. That's what it was like when Shane came out of that bathroom. With like Taking Back Sunday just blaring on absolute 10. Taking Back Sunday from the bathroom speakers and then explosions coming from his bedroom speakers. He'd just be typing up like Carmel's Corner or something. He'd be typing up Carmel's Corner and he's like, just so, so low. He'd be like, it smells like my body wash. Wouldn't even look at me?

I knew he was using it because he didn't have any in there. And I knew that because I was also taking showers. Adam busted me. I didn't have body wash for like a year. And Adam finally was like, what do you do when you're in the shower? I was like, I get wet.

He's like, that doesn't clean you. He's like, that doesn't clean you. And I was like, that doesn't clean you. He's like, that doesn't clean you. And I was like, my God, I get wet. Oh boy. Oh my goodness. Well,

we're going to get to that first pick in this draft, which belongs to David Borey right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Babel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country,

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Everything. The only podcast that has ever existed. The only form of media that has ever existed. If you've enjoyed something that wasn't staring into the heavens and contemplating God, it was All Fantasy Everything. Now, we are back in the Groundhog's Day draft. David Borey, you have the first pick. You have the first pick. My first pick, I'm going to go to New Orleans, Louisiana, circa 2019,

and I'm going to do the day I recorded my special. Oh, shit. Because it's in a beautiful city. I had a bunch of my loved ones who were flown in. There was a bunch of other people that I know just in town for it, and then I could just keep redoing my special and do weird shit who knows maybe one day i shit take come out step come out take a shit on stage and then that's the that's the last day you know what you know what i heard that's basically what you did it's not what you heard

that's what i heard dude it's not i heard that's exactly what i heard my neighbor told me that's what he turned that's what you hoped i was bummed i was real bummed i didn't go i i couldn't bring myself to call in sick to this job that now i look back and i'm like what would i rather have the memory of going into abc mouse that day or going to new orleans what would have been the first time in my life and watching it was dope brother record his hour it was like it was dope but also it's just like so many variables that like i could really fuck around with if i had to do the day over and over like i just interacted with a lot of different people oh my god there were a ton of different people in town you're in new orleans pre-pandemic

we were on bourbon street that night i took ass like there was just like so much going on like you stopped you stopped your sentence so it's acid but you originally said i took ass and then you just kept oh i also i also got some ass but like there's like so much giving ass he took the ass there's like so much like yeah it just was like i could really make some moves if i had to do that day a bunch of times. Yeah, that I think is a pivotal element of having a good Groundhog's Day is all the different variables. All the different things. For sure.

Yeah. What time of year was it? Was it like May? It was a little earlier than that because I remember I was wearing a windbreaker. I think it was like February or March. Were you the Voice yet? But in Louisiana. No.

Was I The Voice? We all called you The Voice. But were you The Voice of Comedy Central yet? No, I was not The Voice. It was right before. Yeah, it was right before. Because I did announce my own special. But it wasn't until.

Yeah, I wasn't The Voice. But I had a little bit of money. It was just like, yeah, I had enough to like, I could really do anything from that jumping off point there was acid on hand so you could have a day where you take that right off the bat yeah i could have hit up my man max ripple early in the morning it could have been like ripple give it to me well especially with your car i mean you could be there for so long that you meet every single person in the audience and get to know them so that when you do yours, you could just know point specifically out to people. I could do a crowd work set.

Yes. And just destroy. That's the other thing. Let's say I'm in this fucking loop for a hundred years. My set's going to be nuts. No matter what happens, you ever inherit your brother's gray parrot. And then,

uh, crazy secrets about your brother. It parrot and then you start telling him crazy secrets about your brother and it turns out he was the one who assassinated Kennedy? This guy knows what I'm talking about. Exactly. And then he just starts weeping. Are you about to divorce your wife? How long are we in these Groundhog Day?

Can we just kind of pick? I was thinking of it as long as you want to stay. Right? You got to get Andy McDowell to fall in love with you. Yeah, shit. You got to figure out how to meet Andy McDowell. Yeah, I'm not sure where she was that day, but I'll find her. Yeah, because also, I woke up really early that day, too.

So I could wake up and fly to New York to seduce her wherever I got to go. Oh, yeah. Come back, burn down the set take acid you could learn every did you record first or second your night ah shit i was second i was second oh man because it'd be very funny whoever was no no i was first i was first who was the second comedian charles gould it would be very funny. Whoever was the second. No, no, no, no. I was first. I was first. Who was the second comedian? Charles Gould. It would be very, who's Charles? I don't know.

Okay, cool. It'd be very funny to learn his whole set and then do it. At the first? Oh, that's so funny. I've always wanted to do that. Yeah. I've always wanted to take the next comedian set. And I never felt comfortable with anyone, comfortable enough to to do that. Yeah. I've always wanted to take the next comedian set. And I never felt comfortable with anyone,

comfortable enough to actually do that. Someone did it to you, Sean. Yeah, it was. Yeah, we ain't going to air anybody out. I had this bit about strip clubs, and he said exactly what I say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a groundbreaking bit,

but the verbiage was exact. And nobody laughed. Nice eight-ball leather jacket, gentlemen. Yeah, whatever. It was like, word for word. We should take him out right now and beat his ass. There's no way he did it on purpose. Take him to Brick City.

Of course he did it on purpose. He did your bit. Come on, man. I can't believe he did it on purpose. I just can't. Man, we need to. I'm telling you, we need to not let that shit slide. Anyway.

Anyways. I want to bring up how we've been reading packets for the late late show and i just got a packet that had an entire idea based off of one of my tweets using the exact language of my tweet it was for movie posters based on it was like movies based on news events and it was like we would make the poster up and everything and i had this tweet last summer about like there was this like couple who like got into a car accident and then got engaged or whatever and i did this tweet like jim carrey and whatever like isla fisher are blah blah blah and it was that exact language in the packet and the rest of the packet was like funny and good and i read it and i was just like oh buddy you the one bank you shouldn't have tried to rob like the one place bank stays open

on sundays i'm the only like i like i recognize you as a bank robber because like we went to school together it was like that kind of thing like it was that level of like because if he turned that packet into i don't know fallon they would have been like this is great because nobody would have remembered that i was the one who tweeted that or whatever yeah right or he would have had some obscure tweet from a fallon writer as well maybe that's what he's doing yeah you're right probably that's not the only thing he stole like that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah scratch alive find a thief damn that's that's nuts they're not crazy yeah anyway dude all right everybody put your shirts back on let's call it in new orleans perfect i love it i can't wait to go there and yeah also new orleans is just like

you know you can eat at every restaurant in new orleans you're all so good yeah do you remember your outfit that you wore for your special uh Uh-huh. Was it the sweater? No. No, it was like a windbreaker with like an anorak, I guess, technically. Oh, that's right. The blue, white, and red one. Yeah, yeah. And then jeans and then some Asics shoes. Nice.

Black jeans, Asics shoes. And I would also play around with my wardrobe. Maybe I come out with some shit where my hog's almost out i was thinking you definitely come out one day you just go out straight naked and just see what happens yeah yeah you come out in the nelly sweatsuit combo or i come out and i get naked on stage in the middle i talked adam into going a sweatsuit for his halloween costume but it was just a suit a blazer with sweatpants rightfully so nobody got it that's not the same and they just look like a fucking bum he looked like a homeless guy had been homeless for like a week and it was yeah and everyone's like what are you and i'm like he's sweatsuit don't you

get that and they're like no like he's still holding he's still holding on everyone's like, what are you? And I'm like, he's sweatsuit. Don't you get that? And they're like, no. Like, he's still holding on. He's like, yeah, okay, I'm wearing sweatpants, but I still got the blazer. Things are going to change. You're going to cut it down the middle. This is my only suit jacket, dude. I'm not going to cut it down the middle. You don't have to stand up at a custody hearing,

so I should be just fine. Think of my fashion as like a combo guard. I play all the positions zach talk about your first pick uh my first pick i'm gonna go uh i went on a field trip in sixth grade and this was when i was living in hawaii we went to a field trip to another island we straight up left our families and we went with our teacher we flew to molokai which is a very it's like you flew you flew somewhere on a field trip yeah yeah yeah yeah we went to the airport we were there for like whoa we were there for like two days i think

what an overnight field trip yes overnight field trip And it gets crazier because we get there and then... You killed someone? Yeah, exactly. We had to take care of his family. It was Mr. Voth. This dude looked like just like big, like Santa Claus if he had like a horseshoe, if he was like horseshoe bald, but big white beard, big white hair. And he had been living on the beard big white hair and he had

been living on the islands for like decades and he knew friends there so when we got to molokai we like put all of our stuff up and then at like 10 at night he was like okay who wants to go deer hunting and we were like what and he all he had knives he had knives for everybody you don't stray hunt with a knife you don't you don't mr both does and then he was like so it was night we all have knives and if you wanted to stay in the in the bunks you could but everyone went out yeah he gave us all knives and then we're walking out he was like okay uh you don't want it like a lot of you are white so we're gonna have to cover you so like the deers won't see you so we covered ourselves in mud took off our shirts and it was straight up oh my god it was one of the coolest field trips we didn't end up we didn't even get close to killing a deer, but he bought us deer meat

from his friend who did kill a deer and we cooked it on an open flame and ate it. It was so good. That's amazing. Now, was Mr. Voth an adult? Mr. Voth was an adult. Dude, it was like. All right. Sounds like Lord of the Flies.

It does sound like it, but somehow he had that had that like i don't know if you guys ever had teachers like that where it was like he didn't have to like enforce enforce his his like dominance or anything it was just like he had a very calm demeanor like if kids were fucking around natural leader yeah he would just come over and be like all right guys what's going on here like he wasn't trying to blow up anyone or like make it public so everyone kind of like respected him but man i i look back at that and i was like i would love to relive that and also kind of like what was he trying to teach us i don't know well and one of those times maybe you get a deer you've yeah yeah how to do it and then you kill and dress the deer and all the kids are like holy shit some kids start puking he He's just introducing.

I mean, he's like your what? Sixth grade, you said? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the perfect age. I was thinking about this. I watched Dirty Dancing for the first time with my girlfriend, and I'd never seen it. We watched that. We've been rewatching Gilmore Girls, both of which are like girls right before independence.

You know what I mean? Right before. I'm like, you want to like slowly introduce independence to kids. Like you forget about that. That's like a job as a parent or as a mentor. So he, that was like a little bit of like, okay, you're leaving home overnight. Yeah. And then he's handing you a knife and taking you into the woods.

There's more independence. Like 30 kids with knives. It's like. Did your parents know that's what you were going to do? like 30 kids with knives it's like did your parents know that's what you were gonna do i think well that's the other thing that's awesome i hope they didn't i think every kid went that i remember like i don't remember any kids parents being like no no no so i think it's just like different culturally there where it's like oh yeah we're because it's like hawaiian studies kind of because like right that whole island is very rural it's not very like they

don't attract tourism because they don't want any of it you can go there was owned by dole for a long time i don't know it was the it had a leprosy colony for a while okay that was like uh sean's laughing it's not funny i didn't i know it's a funny thing to hear i know no i know um don't gotta know more but so it's just like very it's very rural and they have dude the that deer problem is like an infestation so it's straight up like i think maybe even the school system was okay with us hunting deer they're like if you kill some great that means that works sometimes like sometimes he takes all those kids out and they get a deer yeah right yo that's amazing yeah and eating deer meat i remember it like being so so good and we actually took some back to the school and we

cooked some out in the backyard like backyard of the school like that's where we had recess but during recess we were just cooking meat on a fire while like other kids were playing kickball and dodgeball it was the best that's amazing yeah that's a fucking solid pick man yeah i'm not gonna pick this for myself but we had like outdoor school which i mean we never hunted deer or anything like that but we went like there was like you left home for like a week and it was awesome yeah did you what did you guys we would just like there were like classes during the day and then like you played uh capture the flag and tag and like had stuff like that at night and you know they were like campfire sing-alongs and stuff like that right blood sport blood sport stream ecology disappear

hitchhiker just like just the standard stuff life is a highway life is that your campfire song yeah yeah and we wanted to ride it all night i beat jack at basketball um it was just really would you now are you worried like if you had to can you would you miss your family because you have to keep living this day over and over again like what what were the variables you would do? What would you do different? Well, I mean, I think David said one variable would be if I actually, I would start to learn

more and more about the deer, the more that I would talk to the adults and stuff. So then, at a certain point, they would just think that I had some preternatural understanding of deer hunting. We brought this kid deer hunting and then I'm like, the hooves look like it's carrying child like you lean down and taste the dirt you're like south by southeast

god that'd be the worst he just leansans down, puts some dirt on his tongue. She's in heat. She can be long now. We got to move. One day they'd get there and you'd be standing over a deer carcass. They'd show up. And they're like, where's your knife? And I'm like, didn't use it. You're there.

I bare hands fought this deer. But with your teacher's hair and beard combo wearing the same outfit. You like Hannibal lecter where you like the deer killed itself after i talked to her for two hours the dear woman ate her face off but yeah i think and also just like uh it would be fun to be that age again to remember that and like all those kids like all the kids are like oh my god i forgot about this kid and i don't know it's a place that i'll probably never be able to go to again and i think i like it for that reason yeah that's man that's amazing cian time for your first

pick uh i'm this is the only pick that i that i fear that one of you two might pick, so I'm just going first. This isn't actually my first pick, but I want it. Anyway, I'm picking the Bell House show that we did on the Summer Breeze tour that day. Oh, in New York? Yeah, the Bell House. For me, it was just the coolest, most fun feeling I've ever had. It was the day that i really felt like oh my god it's real we did this like it's an iconic day you lost your virginity in portugal we did this did we start that day in boston and drive yeah was that that day yeah it was like oh we did drive

into new york yeah yeah and you know we got there each got our own room, which was to me just like, holy shit. We all have our own room. This is insane. Show sold out. Iconic venue. One of the best shows we've ever done. It was just all around a fantastic, insane, fun. Holy shit.

I get to do this for a living day. And I've never. Remember that sandwich spread? Oh, that was a good one. And Katie kept being like, you know, she's like, you guys aren't supposed to eat. It's got, it's wet. And we're like, well, we're going to eat it. That's what a deli tray does when it's left out in like a humid room for like an hour

or two. That doesn't mean it's not good. I like when it's like that. Nampe was there, dude. Nampe was there. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Was Johnny Nampe there? No, his sister was there. His sister was there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He and Nami was there, dude. Nam Pei was there. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Was Johnny Nam Pei there?

No, his sister was there. His sister was there. Oh yeah. Yeah. Nam Pei was there, I think. Yeah. Yeah. That was, and then we went and sang karaoke like in a private karaoke booth area the other

day. Kevin O'Brien was there and he broke a pitcher. And somebody reminded me of this. He broke a pitcher in the karaoke room, which I forgot about because he was like dancing on the table. Oh, I didn't go to karaoke this is it i love that day i cherish it it's one of my favorite memories you're you're choosing to start a day hung over you know that yeah and the drive i honestly and i thought about that but to me that was all part of the fun and they weren't bad on that trip just like bridgetown or something where it's like

they're not bad until the end and then it's like five at once so getting up and doing the drive wasn't amazing but the rest of the day was so good that i'm like didn't we get up early as fuck kind of we got up early that was what i couldn't get the plane out of new member and i had to double back in it. Right? No. We just drove to New York. And Ian was doing the... He had the Ian Moe look going on. The devil look.

Where he spiked your hair down. Yeah. We were listening to Bauhaus. Yeah, I remember that. It was awesome. I got us lost and freaked out. And you guys were like, it's fine. And then we checked in.

All got our own rooms. The show was just amazing. And yeah, we all got to sing. It just felt like everything was clicking. That show, like it always clicks, but just nothing was going wrong. It was just such a great day. And there he is. Meanwhile, while you guys are having fucking fun, I'm just stuck in Los Angeles.

The day that you get to relive over is me all by myself with no friends. Well, that was one of the best things is Zach wasn't there. It was one of the few days without Zach. And I was about it was there everyone was there that i really was fucking awesome it was that was a great day that was a great day they'll get out there dude nampay like if you give them like even just a little bit of notice dude and and it's gonna be fun he'll fucking get there soda water poppy was there a lot of people were there yeah yeah that was great that was really fun that was a real fun like i mean the very there's such a long drive here yeah i mean i would the drive was like three hours it wasn't crazy there's variables i could get a room at one of the most expensive hotels in the whole city i could just

shoot my shot and invite every celebrity that lives there and eventually one of them would come and then it would be fun are you sure that eventually one of them would come i think so i think if i spent a different day just shooting my shots at all the new york celebrities that one would be like what's this kid all about i live by the bell house i'm gonna go yeah it would be wild for us if you were like i'm staying at the plaza or something like that like i wonder how i would react i complain about being broke the whole time and you're like, I got a thousand dollar room tonight. Yeah, we would have been like... A thousand?

Ian, can I borrow a thousand? How much is like a crazy room? In New York City? I think you could go upwards of 10, 20. Yeah, a night. Ian, can I borrow $20,000? I would ask you every day until I did it just right

where you're like, sure. It takes some real sweet talking. I'll tell you that right now. Yeah, that's a lot. So we're going to be in this loop for a thousand years. That's a lot. Like out of nowhere. I'm starting this day over.

I'm not reliving it, by the way. You got to remember, I'm starting this. So I'm waking up the same surly bastard. Each day I have to do it all day long. He's going to learn like the four or five words put together that instantly calm you down. That's what I'm going to say. Your sleeper cell code to give me 20 racks. I'm just going to learn it.

Easy, big kitty. And he just puts these right by your eyes. Yeah, like... I have David giving you a neck rub. What is it? Crocodile Dundee does that? No, it's also not my groundhog day i know i'm laying a lot of groundwork for the ultimate groundhog day in which ian loans me twenty

thousand dollars so i get this dope room for for some reason that you will not explain to us either right you're not gonna be like give me 20 racks i gotta stay at the plaza for whatever i will tell you i stayed in the plaza once this was when i was a kid not it's like opulent but like the windows are so tiny because that building is so old they're like this and there's bars across them so there's like no you're not like oh wow i'm surrounded by new york you're just like wow what a nice hotel room with a tiny window. Sean, you idiot. Yeah. Is the plaza the most expensive hotel in New York? Did he freeze? I think he's frozen. I think he's frozen.

I think he's frozen. I think he's frozen because look at his hands. I think he's frozen too, but that would be amazing if he was holding that. Oh, man. The longer this goes, the more it feels like he's just doing it. You're going to see him blink and I'm going to freak out.

Yeah, I would get up and run around the room. If this is a prank, it's a resp... No, he's gone. Damn it, Sean. Welcome back after a short break due to some... Basically, Sean got in a fight with a plumber

who stole his wife. And the row, the Donnybrook, they smashed through a wall, shoddy craftsmanship on the wall. And in doing so, they took out a power line, some plumbing,

they took out the internet. So right now, Sean is talking to the cops uh in a perfect jamaican accent and we're going to continue doing the podcast and eventually he'll come back and join us it is time for my first pick and my second pick as it is a serpentine giraffe with my first pick i am going to take oh I should have thought about this better. It's a hard one. This one is hard as hell. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to take, okay, I'm in, I'm waking up. I'm in an Airbnb. Okay. And I believe it was the 17th of this month in Paris. Okay. I wake up around like 10 a.m i'm not traveling i traveled the day before i took a train from london to paris yeah and i'm just waking up in paris i'm making tv money and i have the entire day ahead of me now what i did with that day the first time was i

went to the louvre i went to the mosaic d'orsay i ate. I ate at this cafe that was right by my Airbnb. I got the city bike that they have, like version there, and I just rode a bicycle around Paris. But basically, I'm in central Paris, and the world is my fucking oyster. I can go wherever I want. That's how you have to do it. You have to have so many different options. Yeah.

That's the best. You could do anything you could do anything and again you're you're not in oregon you're not in la you're in a city that you want to explore where you're like i could see every nook and cranny of this every part of it i could just completely take in paris i could one day i could spend like tracing back my family history in the city of Paris. One day you just go to the Louvre. One day I try to steal the Mona Lisa. Exactly. I try to figure out how to do that. Exactly.

Oh, dude, yes. You could burn down the Eiffel Tower. You could burn it right down. It's metal, but I'd fucking figure it out. Yeah. Tell them Nicolas Cage sent you. Yeah, exactly. I would do it. This was always a question i had about grand hogs day

you you can mental you mentally you remain from day to day physically can you change yourself can you get like keep getting buffer and buffer i don't think so right i don't think so i think you can't like grow a beard or anything right well that's perfect because i'm just gonna eat my ass off in paris every single day dude you could also if you want you could wake up or you're waking up early how far how far is the flight from paris to rome oh you could probably figure it out hop a train take a train to the countryside but you don't even have to stay in paris the whole time yeah no you could be a fucking versailles in in less than an hour exactly oh you could go on a museum tour and correct the museum guide actually i believe it was uh 1532

should we look that up should we look that up in perfect french in perfect red yeah you're learning french like oh man your french would be immaculate you could do like different regions or different dialects yeah i would just figure out how to i'd like of course you fit you have to figure out how to get money you you know like early on it's the stealing the money out of the back of the uh do you i guess i have a good amount of money like i'd be like at gucci and like yves saint laurent getting like suits and shit made because like you know what i mean you have enough money for one day right yeah yeah yeah yeah like even if you're going nut you could just buy a maserati yeah yeah yeah credit dude you just be like sure yeah whatever i got an amex i take singing lessons and accordion lessons and shit like that and i just like appear one day just

like blasting out this beautiful accordion song on the corner oh man just just like walking to an opera and like top them yeah that would really fuck up when you came back to the states and they're like so what did you do in france and you're just like what didn't i do what i did in everything i did france i did fucking paris dude i did it all i would learn yeah i would just do everything there is to do in paris like i i remember that i entered like I forget what neighborhood I went in, but I met up with Eliza Skinner there on one of the nights I was in Paris. You guys were in Paris at the same time? We happened to be in Paris at the same time.

And just went to, like, we went to, like, this crazy bar where you ordered, like, from a, the menu was, like, a storybook kind of thing. And you, like, ordered like from a the menu was like a storybook kind of thing and you like ordered drinks from that and they were like crazy like young french people in there and stuff like that who we like you know talk to and all this shit it was just so fun you could eavesdrop on eavesdrop on people you could take a painting yeah yeah oh my god yeah it'd be amazing so much and again i'm doing an art heist at the fucking lou yeah that's the big thing you could be stealing shit i'm stealing shit you know what was crazy when i went there was how small the mona lisa is compared to other paintings tiny

and they put the biggest painting in the world on the wall opposite it yes yeah as if to say like still your eye is drawn to the mona lisa and not that i'm poking around but how secure is it like is it like triple glass and then like a guy standing there like what's it what's it nobody's stealing the mona lisa now not right now no not but if you have a thousand years of prep i don't know how even with a thousand years you would figure out to steal it what if you just got a tank and you gorilla pimped it, like strongly? You could probably gorilla pimp it. You could get a tank for sure in a day.

Yeah. Like, if you're just like nuts, if you just, you know what I mean? We could do that. You could show up with a pecan jag. Yeah. They have to. I like the idea of you finessing the Mona Lisa. Oh, I have a pecan jag.

She got in the car.'d lucky pierre it yeah so that's my first pick yeah that's a great pick that's my first pick and then i with my second pick there is something i want to take but i have shauna has to be here to take it uh so for my second pick i'm going to take i don't even remember the exact day it was from my youth but it was there were many days like this so i'm just gonna take early high school summer day waking up like beautiful day july and like these were the days where me and like my friend brandon carroll would just put on rollerblades you know what i mean we had 20 bucks we had rollerblades all the money in the world back then yeah 20 bucks fucking suburbia yeah 20 bucks i could go to two fast food restaurants

yeah yeah yeah you could go see a movie and get dinner afterwards you know what i mean like yeah yeah oh yeah it was enough you could go to red robin you could get some jujubes a target like get a slurpee everything and whatever you wanted to do and just like those perfect fucking summer days where you're like waking up at 11 maybe 10 yeah you don't have any real problems no bills in your name no no real problems even on the horizon no acheses, no pains, dude. Everything's just fucking beautiful. Oh, God. You don't think about politics? Like, yeah, that's perfect. Because that's like, also that summer, because I have similar picks.

That summer, that age is like, the world's so big. So big. Like, it's not, but it is to you. You know what I mean? Like, the small world is big. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you have, you're experiencing freedom for the first time.

Yeah. I love it. That's exactly, man. That's exactly. Yeah. A pair of rollerblades. Me and David were talking about like how much a bike meant to you as a kid. It was like better than a car.

Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was your current, like that was what, that was, that was how you operated. And this was pre, I'm taking pre-car i don't know because pre-car made the world so big in a way like although i would also take one of those days but like there was just something about like just being off the leash like that your parents either trusted you or were just like well he's out there and like yeah it was just so fun just like going into target would be like a thing you could do in a day and have make make the day fun you know what

i mean like yeah god just finding some creek and just playing in it for like six hours you're like yeah do anything but throw rocks and like play in the mud but that was fucking awesome there's a swamp behind my house that we that i would just go explore sometimes like i would get lost back there oh man i ended up in like water up to my neck once it was amazing that's like what you should be doing like just going getting weird by yourself yeah going to getting weird finding like beaver bites and trees and shit like that like being outside as a kid just yeah man finding other traces of people having been back there and being like what if they're still back here? Yeah, fighting woods porn. Yeah, woods porn.

Some neighborhood dads who jack off. Who was jacking off in the woods all this time? I don't know. Somebody was, though. We have to figure out when that happened. There was apparently a big year where everyone decided, like, where are we going to keep all the smut? In the woods. Oh, man.

In various woods. yeah yeah that's a great pick man yeah so that's my pick i just loved i just love those fucking summer days you got a disc man you got some cds you know anti-skip do you remember did you ever have to like ride your bike but you're holding the Discman because of the anti-skip? Oh, yeah. One hand. I had to go back to the Walkman, the tape player, just because it wouldn't skip. I respect that. That's smart.

Sean is back. I don't know what's going on, but it. Yeah. So there was like a boom, I guess. And like something popped and then uh laura thinks that it was like an outlet or something so i don't think it's a gas leak oh good is dope so i think we lost power to one of our rooms which ain't dank uh but as long as her computer works that's what i'm worried about when you say power you mean the 50 cent series on showtime

yeah yeah we normally have it playing pretty much in every room sometimes it's hard to get in the crawl space but um yeah so that's what's going on there and our internet is out so i'm using my uh unlimited data oh out here big dick all right yeah well welcome back i just went through my two picks i'll tell you really quick it was the day in paris when i went to the louvre and then the second one was uh early high school summer day me rollerblades twenty dollars in my pocket a world of possibilities okay yeah like i like you could eat a taco bell and it wouldn't ruin your day you know what i mean you can actually you can then go do other stuff remember that and it's groundhog day you're out running the diarrhea yeah yeah yeah it's never catching up with me you're gonna live forever listen i've been into the mud up to my

neck i'm fine the next day i have 10 000 i have 10 000 years of diarrhea coming for me when i break out of it god oh god your stomach is the only thing that remembers every day. Sean, time for your second pick. Just in time. Well, look at me. Just in time. I apologize to anyone who's lost or if I get a dip again,

but I will do what I can. My second pick. So every, it is not a specific day, but rather days that I had. So every Sunday for like, oh shit. Did you just hear another pop? Yes.

Hold on. This is not dank. Oh no. It smells like a fire up here. Well, Sundays we used to play volleyball in the cherry rock park and then uh i would get taco bell and then go watch entourage at joey's and then whatever was on after entourage so like hung for a while oh yeah just lucky those yeah those sundays like the i don't know just super

dank dope sundays that we used to have every sunday so is that okay it's not one specific sunday but it is the day i mean i could just pick one um we'll pick an episode entourage maybe you want to see over and over and over again yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the fuka fuka watch the same episode of television uh yeah so oh yeah power fucking went out up here too you want to go address this yeah i'm sorry guys i'm so sorry no go address it okay you guys can keep going i'll come back yes uh yeah yeah yeah all right don't even worry about coming back we'll keep going yeah we got you we've gotten we've got a good hour and a half of you talking already don't worry all right uh all right later all right best of luck later buddy

so i believe sean just took rollerblading uh in the park and then watching an episode of lucky starring dustin hoffman on hbo zach time for your second i'm gonna go christmas 1990 at the saskanis house my grandma's still alive i am five but it's just like i am five years old which is kind of tight in the same way that i wouldn't have burdens or worries but i'd have an adult mind and choices that's dangerous it's it's like a day i would want to have because uh a couple years after that we had a few family members die and it was just we have a home video of that year and it's just like chaos in a way that i want to live in all the time i did the numbers there were 30 adults and 15 kids in a four-bedroom house

my god yeah yeah yeah and it's just like oh man i just like a big italian family on christmas i would get to really like dive into each one of my family members like at that time you know yeah like really learn and retain stuff and just like you know see people i hadn't seen i haven't been able to see since they passed away it would just be it would just be unbelievable some of those adults would be Like, why is this five-year-old asking me such intimate questions? Yeah. So tell me about the war. Uncle Joe, I don't think the horse is going to pay off. What were the dinners like?

Was it like amazing food and stuff like that? Oh, yeah. I mean, it was like everyone would be cooking, but it would also just be nuts because there weren't enough tables or like places. So just like the kids would just, we would just take our plates and just running outside, just like eating spaghetti with our hands and shit. Yeah, just a classic, just what I thought an Italian dinner would be. Yeah, grandma's, I can see like my grandma my grandma, like, stirring the sauce with a cigarette. Like, just a long cigarette dangling over the sauce, you know?

Oh, the ash. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, people getting hammered. I probably will start to find out, like, which aunt and uncle are on cocaine or on drugs just to make it through the Christmas because that's, like, another side I would see. And one of those days you could get hammered and everybody would remember that. Oh, yeah.

Everybody would be like, little Zach, he's hammered. He locked his throat in his grandma's car. One of the bottles. He's drunk as shit. Was this in Cincinnati? This was Dayton, Ohio was where my grandma's house is. Still in the family, the house. I lived there for a little bit. Oh, wow. Who lives

there now uh it's my aunt and uncles they just bought it after after she passed away yeah nice man bracing date it's a midwest christmas was it snowy was it cold that day yeah it would be it would be i don't know if it was snowy that day but let's just say it was yeah and yeah yeah pretty cold like pretty i guess what you consider like a traditional Christmas. And then all the fucking presents. 15 kids. So many presents.

There's going to be a lot of Street Sharks t-shirts. Oh my God, it was like mountains. And it didn't even matter that most of them weren't for you. It was just like, holy shit. You could learn how to sing Oh Holy Night in like that prepubescent falsetto and just blow everyone away. Then my parents are like, we should cut his nuts off.

He's got a future. That's an excellent pick, dude. That's great. Oh yeah. Uh, Dave, it's time for your second and third picks.

My second pick I'm taking. So I went to this every year, but I'm taking specifically 2013. I'm taking the Hate Street Fair, the day I went to the Hate Street Fair, because it was just San Francisco, 2013. It's in the middle of June. It was on Hate Street. Hate Street's fucking packed all the way down. There's a live music stage by the park.

Me and my friends were posted up in front of the milk bar like because we knew the owners so we're allowed to hang out we're allowed to loiter basically which is like yeah people are kind of shitty about that it's just all the freaks and weirdos of san francisco going past my friend texas she was giving people haircuts out front i was hanging out with a girl i had just started seeing. It was like 74 degrees. And just like, we just were out there all fucking day. We were smoking weed on the street.

As the night came on, we went into the bar, didn't even do a comedy show. And it was just, there was so much going on. And it was just that, like, it was like,

well, I think forever when I think back on my twenties, I'll be like, that was the day I was just, there was so much going on. And it was just that, like, it was like, well, I think forever when I think back on my 20s, I'll be like, that was the day I was like doing it the most. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds fucking perfect.

Like, dude, we were all pretty broke, but we like pooled our money together. And we had a little, like, we had like a backpack with like a bottle of champagne and then like a bottle of liquor. And then we all had chasers and like being on the street it's like we we were in the neighborhood all the time anyways so so many of our friends and people we knew from comedy we would see come back and forth it was just like it was it was just so great it was like one of the best days of my whole life and luckily we have my friend andrew uh he took a bunch of pictures so we have pictures of it now oh hell yeah yeah so he

because he had just bought a camera and like looking back on it and it was just like and it's a street festival right so there's like a million different things you can do that day you know what i mean you can go and there's a billion people to talk to and it's just like and it was the city and like the city when it was still fun for me before i got like jaded to it it was just like yeah i could do it over and over and over again what was it what was the street fair like what kind of stuff would happen on the street it was just like it was just a very general like it wasn't a theme right so there was a performance stage like right by the park like by our side and then there was a bunch of street vendors but it wasn't like it wasn't

like in commemoration of it was it was just like everybody in the neighborhood coming out and walking around trying different foods and beers and oh man and it's san francisco so there's like you know there goes a guy with on aicycle, and there goes a naked lady. And, like, it was just so much fun. A beautiful day in San Francisco is like, you can't beat that either. That too. But it wasn't too hot, so it was like, you're stoked to be outside all day with your friends.

And it was like, I love comedy, but there wasn't, like, some show that I would have to redo over and over again you know what i mean it was just like it was like in hate street was like at the time i was living at sylvan house which is like eight blocks away so like if i needed shit i could walk walk back to the house it was just like really like one of those days where you're like yeah man that was about the best you know that sounds, I'm like nostalgic for that day and I didn't even.

I'll show you the pictures of it next time we hang out, but it was just like, yeah, it was just so great, man. It was like a bunch of us, we were like nine or 10 deep just hanging out on the wall, just like watching the weird shit happen, you know? Yeah, and the best thing was Sean wasn't there. And the best thing was Sean. Oh, oh shit

yeah i'm here now boys so i've had my i've had my my share my fair share of uh san francisco days so i know what you're talking about yeah it's it's your fair share is that a is that a euphemism for boofing or what what's going on here you filthy animal i'm all out of sorts i feel like i'm doing more harm than good but uh i'm all out of sorts. I feel like I'm doing more harm than good, but I'm all out of sorts right now. Are you okay? Is your house sorted out? What's going on, dude? Are you getting attacked by Magneto? What's the deal?

Well, now we're trying to find our other kitty. So one of our cats might have gotten out in the fracas. Sean, you can go find your cat, dude. Yeah. Well, that's the plumber's cat now i don't know laura the kitty we got betty this fucking day not today no we're good anyway uh i'm not gonna screw this up anymore uh excellent pick david and your pick. My third pick is kind of similar to your last pick, but it's a different place.

I'm taking, so every, I've talked about it before. Got in some trouble when I was 17, got shipped off to Africa. I'm taking my second day in Freetown, Sierra Leone. Wow. Yeah. It was just like, it was the first time, because time because you know the war was my whole life right so all i knew of my family was dying i had never met anybody it was the first time meeting my whole family and the second day i got there i woke up early and uh me and my uncle paul just walked

around the whole city what are you okay are you talking to me he's frozen again is he frozen yeah oh yeah no am i frozen again a little bit we're getting audio yeah we're getting audio rice you're not screwing it up why don't you just take take take it off you're you're okay yeah it's okay pal go do what you gotta do i feel horrible i'm sorry this is my job i should be able to do it i missed an episode with gout once yeah which you can just lay there i had internet should i do my pics okay real no no because you might take some stuff off the board that i want all right all right well i'm gonna sign i'm fucking this up you can stay if you want but if you have if you have you're not fucking it up if you have other stuff to do you should go do it but if you want But if you have You're not fucking it up If you have other stuff to do

You should go do it But if you want to stay, stay But don't feel like you have to We have extenuating circumstances This is an act of God Okay, I'm going to go find this cat Okay, feel free to jump back in if you want Tell us about Freetown

Yeah, so Sean's going to Boofoo's share Right? That was a He's going to Bufu Share right yeah that was uh that was uh he's going okay yeah he's gonna go no it was just yeah it was my first time being surrounded by my whole family and me and my uncle Paul the second day he just took me to the city and we started at PZ which is the middle of the city and we walked all the way out to the beach and then way up into the hills and then I mean like shit Zach if walked, if me and Zach walked nine miles around Denver the other day, that day I walked 15, 20 miles. Damn. Just, like, throughout, just, it was, like, it was my first time being out of the country in a major way, seeing anything like Africa, seeing something that beautiful.

And it was just, like, yeah, it was just amazing. I was 17 so you're not even tired you're just like oh this is great yeah it was like i ate street food got diarrhea but whatever and uh you again that doesn't catch up with you till later yeah that doesn't catch up with me later and i would just like and now that i know freetown a little bit i just would know where i would go and shit like that like it was just yeah it was amazing it was amazing be like a man about town yeah and then like after after being able to redo it i would just like know where to go and my creole would get better and i could speak better and it would just be like yeah i would just i would live in that forever and it was like what

kind of food was there what do you eat so that day i ate they have these soft shell crabs on the beach that they just take right off the beach and fry them on the beach and just fry them with a little bit of like pepper and stuff like that and you just like and it's soft shell right so you just crunch the whole thing i ate those and then later in the day they have this thing called beef and bread and it's basically just like beef chunks in a stew like a tomato and palm oil stew and then they just slap it on some white bread and you just like eat it like a sandwich i ate those two things that day and meat pies they have meat pies i ate some meat pies but yeah i would do that over and over and over and over again man because yeah one day

you could go fishing yeah exactly what you what you caught yeah and i was 17 so it's like you're not gonna get tired you're not gonna like it's just like you're just like this is amazing you know and you could learn a little bit about your family too you could have that day where you just do the deep dives you talk to everybody speak to everybody and like i ended up being there for three four months so i got into everything but just like really that but like the further i got into living there the more you just it becomes you have a routine you know what i mean yeah yeah so it'd be like you had people you'd make plans and you'd have people you'd have to go see and you have to do whatever but that first few days it was like everything was new

so everybody was just like hey just yeah go do whatever you want. It was like great. It was really freeing. And yeah, I do that over and over again. Excellent. Zach, how about your third pick? All right, my third pick, I'm going to go with the reason I picked this day is because it's a mystery that I would want to solve. And what happened was what happened was i this was hawaii day so i was probably like i

don't know 11 12 and my little sister found a lucky penny she finds this penny and she's like it's my lucky penny and i was like i don't know what that means and she's like i found if you find a lucky penny you'll find 20 in the road in the next day right she tells my mom she tells a couple other people whatever the next day we wake up and this is the day that i would relive she finds twenty dollars in the road i'm obviously very skeptical i'm like okay my mom did this to foster like believe in things and you know all that kind of stuff so i was like cynical little boy yeah obviously this is a parenting tactic yeah this is some bullshit um so so my sister finds 20 bucks and my mom's

like i didn't do that blah blah blah i'm like yeah right and as we're having that discussion my sister comes back into the house and she's like now i have 80 and we're like what so she puts the 80 down and we're like i don't whatever she goes back outside she comes back in now i have a hundred dollars at the end of the day she finds 2,500 in cash what yes and and i went out with her once because i was like at a certain point i was like where the fuck are you finding this money right and she's like i'm finding it in holes of trees so she she would find them in like little knotted out holes in coconut trees and then so i was like okay i'm gonna go with you like you need to help we're gonna find this money so i was following her and she was just like making all these weird little kid connections where she's like well money is green and trees are leaves are green so maybe there'll

be some and she no shit in front of me climbed up a mango tree and pulled up two hundred dollars up $200. What? And that was an insane part to come back to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So to catch you up, my little sister found $2,500 one day just in cash. And she attributed it to a lucky penny she found. So my parents, it was a very small town so we're like hey we found some money if anyone no one claimed it no one claimed the money wow but did she get to watch entourage no we didn't have cable you have so many stories that would be my best story i know i think that all the time you say some shit i'm like get out of here i don't even want to it might be coming up so i don't want to wreck the one. No, but it's just, dude, it is.

So it is something that really baffled because I'm like, OK, maybe it was like drug money. And that's like how they were exchanging money and drugs. But how would my sister know to look? Why would in a mango tree? I'm telling you, like, there's nothing around. There's nothing. There would be no reason for anyone to keep money what does she say about it now she doesn't really remember that much like she remembers the story

how old was she like i mean she was probably like five or six oh my god that is just pure like some child fucking imagination shit and at that point i'm like okay my mom definitely is not leaving two g's out right on the like i gotta fight for five dollars she found twenty five hundred dollars twenty five hundred dollars that was never a cat like no there was no you know we lived there for years afterwards and no one was ever like hey you know what the i left money here or whatever nobody came looking no Nobody came looking. No one came looking. It was really crazy. And I want to track it down.

Like, I really want to relive that day. And just like, to me, there has to be a logical explanation. Like, did a bag of money just explode in the town? What the fuck happened? It sounds like the beginning of a really fun like spielberg movie though yeah oh yeah yeah my sister gets rich and i'm fucking broken mean or just like a mystery a mystery about kids finding money and then like and then what goes from there you know she invested it she's doing quite well she bought gamestStop back then. Back then. Just so I couldn't have games.

Dude, that's crazy. Yeah, that's wild. I don't even know what to say. But like, yeah, yeah, you should relive that day. Yeah. Because I can't even begin to imagine what it was like. What is the logical explanation? Is it just like a bunch of random occurrences at once and she was

that is you know what that sounds like some of that island magic it does it does there is a ring of like that seems like very particular to that place because i haven't heard it like there's no way there's no way in cincinnati find $2,500 just in the leaves? How many different trips did she take out, do you think? I would say probably a dozen. So it wasn't like, oh, I found $1,000. It'd be like $100, $80, $60, $20, $30, $50. Just like, and on our property.

So like where the hotel and restaurant were so it wasn't like oh there's a bunch of neighbor they ever we knew everyone man that's crazy yeah that's gnarly i don't even know wow and definitely one of those days i would just take the $2,500 and buy a bunch of candy like i would just steal the money yeah just fucking stiff farmer yeah sean time for your third pick uh my third pick would be we had uh we made a skateboard video we made a few but we made a video and it was the second tc video or maybe the first tc video but the Tough Customer video, and we had a video premiere at a movie theater at like midnight,

and it was absolutely bonkers. It was one of those where we were in the videos, we felt, it's like I felt like I was at a movie premiere, like I was fucking DiCaprio or something. It was insane, because there were like, I don't know,

10 of us probably. So we rented out this theater, and the the guy there were like 400 people showed up standing room only uh everybody came in a limo which was insane and just at the height of like my our rowdiness as a crew and uh and then the dude so in the theater i was like all right everybody try to be cool and then you just see puffs of smoke going up here and there like weed blunts everybody and there's glass breaking and uh we made like a grand or something which at the time i was just like what and uh the dude at the end of the night i was like hey man sorry about all that and he had this terrified look on his face like what are we gonna do about this and i peeled him off like 200 bucks

and i was like can we just not say anything and he's like whoa he freaked out like it was the most money he'd ever seen and i felt like i was in goodfellas or some shit it was i just peeled him off a couple notes like it was nothing and then yeah it was just it was an insane day that i've never had i've never felt a feeling like that. Seeing yourself skate on the big screen, all the people, like everybody in town that I wanted to be there was there. And it was just such an insane, awesome whole day leading up to it. Just 40s everywhere. It was so rad. There's video evidence of this, right? Yeah, there's. Well, Rude made like a slideshow to an mf doom beat and that was actually how i found out who mf doom was um but there's like you could see the theater filling up and then

one picture like i got my shirt on for like the first 10 pictures and then boom shirt off yeah yeah that was not long for this world no no it wasn't it wasn't built for that i remember watching that slideshow it looked fucking so much fun i was insane dude and it was probably the best skating i've ever done like documented anyways and it was just all right there and everybody sees it and you're like oh this is all my hard work of you know filming and whatever it's not we're getting paid but like we're still going out and like breaking ourselves trying to film and then there it is and we what are the variables in this i mean like i guess i don't really i don't really want any i just want to do that i just want to do that every day perfect yeah i wouldn't honestly i wouldn't go through and change much my buddy

got a d double so i'd probably tell him not to drive that night yeah it'd be a dick move if i didn't if i was like nope everything stays the same dude sorry i learned your lesson trent you're gonna you're to get that D double early day. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't probably take a bigger limo, I guess. I didn't even get to go in the limo because I was like quarterback in the whole thing. So I guess that'd be one thing. I would go in the limo.

Yeah. You got to go in the limo. Yeah. It was such. And the limo pulled up when the theater was like packed already. So they got out like guns and roses or something. It was pictures of Adam just getting out, like fanned out. I think he's got a bottle in his hand.

It's just like, you know, what you could do is you could spend like a thousand years mastering skateboarding. Not that you haven't already. And just, and just blow people away. Film a new part earlier that day and be like, here, cup this in. And then you're like, only tell like one person and be like here cut this in and then you're like fight club style just slice it in like one person and be like yeah you got to put this in and then everyone's like what that would be clutch and then you're just doing nija shit yeah you're

doing a christ air 900 all the tough customers are like he just boo-food us in front of everyone in front of my family yeah Yeah, that would be it. I'm sorry. I feel like we're going crazy long because of me. That is my third pick. You got to do that with the pushing 40s, pushing boardies. I brought it up to him. I think some of them are into it. Charlie, putting it on you.

Ryan listens. Film it. Run out the Hollywood theater. Let me play the Jack Black role. Run around that park in Glendale naked yeah yeah can i do the owen wilson yeah yep absolutely ian you know it's have you know what's intense about that jack black role you're gonna have to gain some weight huh hell yeah dude and maybe lose some hair lose some hair gain some weight i'm happy to do it you have more hair than he does it is outlandish right now um time for my third and fourth picks with my third pick i'm going to take it's it's tough for me to pick a year i don't know exactly which year to pick but it's definitely the first day of bridgetown and i'm gonna go with I don't know I'm gonna go with like seven David whatever when

you were at Zach you had to have done made it in by this point I think that was my last the eighth one I did three of them just just a first day of the Bridgetown Comedy Festival yeah so I'm not waking up incredibly hungover like that third day but you know what you're getting into you know you're getting into it's like friday you maybe got a show at like two you know what i mean or like but it's one of those days when you only have like two shows so you're not like laying down with shit yeah god i love you like yeah you're right man sorry keep going no please i was and then just like everything's in front of you. Like you're, you don't feel terrible from eating pizza and drinking beer and donut and eating donuts like exclusively.

Like you still feel good, but like you just feel, you start drinking around like 1 PM and it's creeps up. You never get too drunk. And I would pick one of the nights where I DJed at the after party too. I love doing that shit. Yeah. I just,

I remember that feeling when you're going to get your pat badge that first day oh my god so fucking jacked looking in a little fucking tote bag for you know what you like a little shooter whatever they give you some condoms a pair of scissors from the portland mercury that's right I didn't like it when people wore their badges around their neck so in my mind I was like I still want people to see it I still want people to know strangers I want them to know I'm part of it but I put it around my belt and hung it down like I was a roe deer or something

I thought I was so cool when I was doing that shit I'm just like man I don't even need to flag this but I'm still in my head I'm like you're still in it you were flashing in the Chipotle people know i had that shit around my neck dog yeah people used to do they do their shows with it on which was the big kicker and i'm like take it off everybody knows you're in the festival you're doing it just had his his polo tucked into his tack his khakis his lanyard, his little glasses.

The whole thing was a onesie. His pens in his pockets. Set list. Yeah. You're going to be up till 4 a.m. You're going to be surrounded by friends. You're in the middle of Portland, in like peak Portland. Anything could happen.

Oh, man. Just a fucking beautiful night. When it was on Hawthorne? It was on Hawthorne, dude. Oh, shit. It was just so exciting, too. That whole street, you just keep walking down and you'd see like 50 new friends yeah every it was it really was summer camp and you're just like

you're like i'm doing it for me coming from out of town so much you're like i'm doing it like fuck you i'm not passing the punchline i'm fucking doing it like yeah i mean like oh man yeah that shit was amazing so i'm taking first day of bridgetown and then my next pick i'm taking las jagas yeah absolutely i'm not changing i'm not changing a lot it was it was a perfect day but the fact that we're in las vegas and that wasn't the day we drove there either that was it was the either. It was the second day. It was the second day. It was a full day.

So you're waking up in Las Vegas. Anything could happen. Yeah, man. As I recall, you guys got those crazy Bloody Marys with like eight things coming out of them. That shit had a crab claw in it. Yeah, crab claw, cheeseburgers, all that shit. That was the first time we got paid for doing this. And I remember you gave David and I each like 600 bucks or something.

And I'm like, what? Oh, that was the first money we got for A&E. That's right. Yeah. And you gave it to us. And I was like, God, about that. And I tried to pay. Dinner or lunch came out and it was whatever it was.

And I've tried to put 100 down on it. You're like, well, don't go. You know, don't light it on fire just yet i just wanted to get rid of it so bad like i'm picking this up that would have been your whole per diem dude that was like too much yeah that was intense because i went to momofuku that day right we had fried chicken and caviar for Oh God. That was when you said, when you held the sake up and you're like, looks like cum. And there's that. She was right behind you.

And you're like, well, I don't know. It does. What, what do you want? Stand by that. There's anything,

anything could have happened. We had drugs. We had money. We were in Las Vegas. We had to talk to Memphis bleak. You talked to Memphis bleak. You talked to Jordan to memphis bleak you talked to memphis bleak you talked to jordan farmer jordan i talked to jordan farmer he acted like he knew who i was there was that pimp behind us there was a future concert that we didn't go to man pay was there anything

could have happened anything like yeah you could have just gone and like bet it all on black 50 you know and until it hits 10 times in a row. And then you got all this money. You know what I mean? Like anything could happen. You would know the sports things that would happen in that day. So you could engineer it. So you just walked out. Oh, yeah.

I bet I'm betting $100,000 on LeBron James scoring exactly 17 points that night. And then it hits. And then you walk out. Oh, my God. It was wide open. You have the ability. That would be intense. You knew all your shit was gonna hit and then you just get to watch us realize when it hits like oh my god yeah holy shit how did you know everton was gonna score like whatever the fuck premier league games i was

betting on early like it just would have been i mean amazing i mean and like ultimately the day that you would want to have most was the one we had which is what's beautiful about it but you could just there was so much room to grow from that so you buy sean a whale bone of top shelf top shelf whale bone dude there would be one of those days where you'd get us backstage somehow you'd be like yeah how we get back there jay and beyonce want to come say hi to us before the show yeah i'd like make it so they got into a car accident on the way to the concert but i saved them yeah oh you could orchestrate the whole thing yeah oh man there's a way where that ends up where like you're on four four four yeah yeah i'm on the album.

Was that before or after 4-4-4? It was after, I think. Oh, was it? Yeah, because he did kill Jay-Z. Never mind. But I'm on the next one doing the talking that his mom did, where I'm like, I saved Jay-Z from a car accident. Sean was a very special child.

I knew he was a crip from the moment he was born So that's my pick Sean Jordan time for your fourth pick My fourth pick And I guess I've been dancing around Saying this but I can say it I think Laura gave me the I should say I know but she gave me the okay So we have been

You know attempting To get pregnant And I'm going to start crying. Hold on. It was the day that I found out that she was, like fully, after we got past everything. Dude, there's no way I'm getting married with any words coming out of my mouth.

Are you kidding me? Oh, you're crying for sure, dude. You haven't even told the rest of the story where the day you're repeating is when you found out it was my kid yeah that's why we're gonna name it ian carmel senior um yeah so i was i couldn't go and she had a checkup that she had to go to and i you know it was just like nervous energy because what do you do and i was at i was out skating but just

kind of to occupy my brain and then uh she texted just like a, you know, all good or thumbs up or heart or something. And I was, and the feeling of that is something that I'll never, you know, I never know that feeling again. It was amazing. And I just, I think I told a couple of kids there. I was just like, we're pregnant, I'm having a kid. You told a couple of children?

I think so. Yeah, just a couple of random dudes that I've been skating with and then i just went on like a 13 year old i had this burst of energy like that was my spinach you know and i just went off and skated killer and then you know just the rest of the day was just like pure bliss it was so it was so cool and i think laura's in the bathroom listening by the way you're taking that i just you're taking the day you found out you're having a baby and you just want because you just want to relive that feeling over and over again i do want it was not you know there's nothing like it that i don't know

just you know that's it to put in perspective it made what's happening right now with our electric not i don't care you know i'm just like yeah well there's there's this there's this feeling in life and uh so that i would relive that till the rest of you know i wouldn't change a thing even that's whatever thing traffic you just get different kinds of chicken wings yeah we're not chicken wings as it were yeah it was you could think of baby names uh we're not we're not saying any because i i made the mistake of telling my mom a potential name and she's like oh i don't like that i'm like well dog now if we name her that you're like i love david we're gonna name her david borianis though

yeah hell yeah but with the g though yeah you couldn't do it directly i understand david gaboreanis it's more of a tip of the cap. The baby's name is Ian Carmel Sr., dude, no matter what. Boy, girl, whatever comes out. The Aurora Borealis. Oh, I like that. Aurora Borealis. Oh, we're going crazy.

Okay. So, yeah, that feeling. This is like your official announcement, right? You haven't said it before on the pod, right? the no this is a reward for everyone who made it this far sorry i'm so sorry it'll it'll it'll cucked it marissa's gonna get in the kitchen it'll boil down to a consomme yeah anyway so uh moving right along thank you zach time for your fourth pick fourth pick uh i'm gonna pick a day that Sean was definitely there for, and it would be our friend Greg's wedding.

Because it was so crazy, though. We woke up in New York City, and the day that it happened was we needed to rent a car to drive up to New Hampshire for his wedding. This is the day that we all found out that none of us have credit cards so that no one could rent a car to drive up to new hampshire for his wedding this is the day that we all found out that none of us have credit cards so that no one could rent a car greg was so mad none of you have a credit card we're like nope it is the day of his wedding it is the day of his wedding and we were like yo all your friends blew it and um so eventually we had to get, uh, another friend's older brother to leave his job, come

down, rent us a car. We get to the, we get up to New Hampshire. Oh, we saw a big pussy. We also had to drive it like a block. Wait a second. We saw, uh, we saw a big pussy from the Sopranos at a gas station. Yeah. Gas station, Duncan.

Yeah. It was Duncan donuts. He called it Starbucks. It was great. Then we got to New Yeah, it was Duncan Donuts. He called it Starbucks. It was great. Then we got to New Hampshire, dropped off our stuff, and on the way to the wedding, Shane Torres said, you need to stop. I need to wash my suit.

It's in question what happened at the laundromat, but I recall him washing it he washed and dried his suit in a laundry mat yes the whole kit and caboodle also one of the funniest things he was rapping you know how shane does his gross raps yeah he was rapping like the whole way and gross and hammy out so bad and i was i was laughing so hard because he was just like my butt in your poop and hammy was just like oh and greg too they just they can't handle the gross it was so tight oh man and so then shane washed his suit oh we drive to the wedding on a dirt road car's all dirty shane gets out and leans on the car on his suit and his dirt everywhere

we looked at him and he looked right at that and he goes he goes don't you fucking say a word and we're like and nobody did no because i'm like this is it this is where he kills you if you say something oh man oh my god and then at the wedding greg's brother broke his hand he was supposed to play guitar at the wedding broke his hand so he can't do it greg now has to ask his friend dan who is a spitfire this guy i've never met dude and i've met some wild boys he's he was up there this guy is nuts and oh my god just just getting to relive all these emotions with my friends and the way it turned out great but man it just was like a lot of turmoil and fucking crazy shit and i would just love to relive that day over and over again to come to the wedding if you played it right. That's true.

Absolutely. We all got too scared to say anything. We didn't even say anything to him. We got scared. I'm sure you could plan a few more pratfalls for Shane. Make it so he like steps on a rake and falls in a puddle. It was the most fun. And we were just out in this crazy apple orchard property like where Greg's parents live.

Yeah. It was one of those things where I'm like, well,'t be here big ass lobsters big ass new hampshire lobsters wow yeah man alcohol was involved it was oh my god it was yeah we all and we all slept in his house his mom woke us up at 6 a.m was like get the fuck out of here she didn't she didn't want to sleep and we were like sleeping under the dining table we were like an infestation i took a shower outside they built us a shower outside they built us a shower outside they didn't want us coming in dirty heathen friends flew across the country it was it was fantastic that's a good call that's so funny yeah that's amazing uh david time for your

fourth and then your final picks this one uh everybody was there i'm taking march 9th 2019 the day we took that picture in the street in front of canards oh after that all fantasy everything weekend or during yeah it was like the second marissa was there it was like the second day of that weekend up and it was when we were all done we were all done with all of our work we'd done two record two podcasts two uh what's the name of the fuck rev hall shows yeah we're all done yeah the day where we ate at canards is how i remember boogie was there i i can't remember exactly but we were playing pool afterwards and ian just kept telling laurie he's like you guys are so great together it's just so so you guys are fantastic i just i was on a vibe just me alcohol in a good mood there wasn't anything extra in my system and i was just like yeah i was digging that day i don't

think i've ever been that like drunk on camaraderie and just like, whoa, this thing and all these sold out shows and it's working and it was just nuts. We were in Steamburgers. Nan Pei was there. It was great. It didn't feel good. We were in Haim or something standing in the middle of the street and Lance was like, get out there.

And I'm like, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah. We just run out in the street. It felt like though it was like, yeah, hell yeah. This is when we take pictures in the middle of the street now. That's what we do. We're middle of the street. Now that's what we do. We're middle of the street.

Yeah. Super fun. I never felt more like Portland was my city than that day. Probably like the best, you know, never felt like Portland was more my city. I was going to say like, I, that was, you feel like we did. I mean, that's like one of the biggest venues in town. And then the Doug for, I've always had fantasies of doing a show there.

And then we sold out for shows. It, I mean, not, I sound like a prick, not to, but just the feeling of that, knowing that it's like,

cool, this is why all those open mics and working a full-time job. And like those shows that I never wanted to do, but you did because you have to the goal where everyone's like you know something's gonna happen it happened the vision yeah the vision was clear like oh this was the right decision i did the right absolutely absolutely and i got to share it with my favorite people on the planet and yeah i want to say adam was here too i want to say that i can't remember i know he can't we're it again, too. Maybe as soon as this fall.

Who knows? Absolutely. Man. Yeah. I remember Sue Carmel nailing that pick in the fast food. She picked the Costco hot dog. That place went fucking nuts. Yeah.

That was the same draft that David picked a ball pit when we drafted fast food. Is it not? Yeah. Stand behind it. Yeah. I bet you do. That might have been the day before. We did the duck for two days in a row. That's true. We did I bet you do. That might have been the day before. We did the Doug Furrer two days in a row.

That's true. We did do it two days. It's hard to say either way. Ivan Carmel made a pick. Sue Carmel made a pick. The green room was tight. The whole thing runs together, but this is the... Yeah.

Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah. God, that was dope. Yeah, it was just amazing. It's just like... It's one of those... Yeah.

It's like... It's not that Bridgetown wasn't bridgetown was different but this was like this was like art you know what i mean like and marissa was there marissa was there like yeah that was gonna be my pick oh shit oh damn damn that's is that the first time anybody's ever snaked you uh no i've been snaked before okay serpent. I remember there was a picture of all you guys and David pulled his pants down in front of Doug Furr. Oh, yeah! Remember that one? He sure did.

The butt just flagging. I had to search for that photo. I remember someone taking it and I had to post on message boards pleading that they share it with me because I really wanted that photo. It's still as funny as it was that day to me. That was one of my favorite, to put a button, sorry, I know we're trying to go, but to put a button on it. One of my favorite things still to do at a live show where I know that if anybody has come to see us or, you know, me specifically.

One of my favorite things to do is to go into the line when they're waiting and just like thank like look every person in the face be like thank you you're amazing you're amazing and just i did that there and it felt so good to do just to walk down the line and everyone was in such a good mood so many good vibes flying around that place man i love i love you guys so much i could start i could start bawling right now i really really could. I don't love that angle of you. I almost did this a couple times with the balls. Like I said it down, I'm like, nope. You kept it there for a while.

You did it earlier and I saw David's face change. It's just like, god damn it, dude. I didn't mean to. You just let it sit right there for like a minute. I was like, whoa. I don't think we need a lightning round. I think we ended there.

I think we ended right there. I think it's a good cap. I think it's a good cap. Yeah. We don't need a fifth round. That's fucking beautiful. Uh, that was Marissa's pick.

We have so many more on the list, but we might even just have to draft this one again. This was so great. Yeah. I don't even, thank you so much. Thank you for having me. We want to hear from you.

Hit us up at all Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to the AFE Patreon. Shout out to the AFE Shaslackity. Shout out to the AFE subreddit. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to everyone listening. Thank you so much for fucking with us.

Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Laura's new husband, The Plumber, and more important than all of that tune in again next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything BooFoodShare that was a hate gun podcast