All Fantasy Everything - Guilty Pleasures (w/ Katie Nolan, Sean Jordan & David Gborie)

Episode Date: October 29, 2020

Katetober comes to a close with a draft we can't believe we haven't done! Guilty pleasures! Come feel good about feeling bad about feeling good with us.All Fantasy Everything is nominated for a Discover Pods Award! Help us win by voting for us here in the "Best Comedy Podcast' category. It only takes an email address and a few seconds to do. You can also vote for Sports? with Katie Nolan for Best Sports Podcast and Punch Up The Jam for Best Music Podcast. Your support is greatly appreciated!!Episode Guest:Katie Nolan @katienolan IG: @natiekolan Podcast: Sports? with Katie NolanSponsors:TRICO: Go to wipers123.com and use promo code ALLFANTASY at checkout for $10 off your next order or $40 or more.DoorDash: Get 25% off and zero delivery fees on your first order, when you download the DoorDash app in the App Store and enter code ALLFANTASY.Magic Spoon: Go to magicspoon.com/ALLFANTASY and get free shipping with promo code ALLFANTASY at checkout.Support the Show:Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some merch at teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] on All Fantasy Everything with Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from pop culture, from nicknames we wish we had to iconic facial hair and everything in between. On this week's episode, we're drafting guilty pleasures, because why not enjoy everything you can right now? Everything else is a nightmare. Our guest concluding the month of Kate-tober is Katie Nolan.

I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and joining me, as always, are Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get to the episode. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that went for a nice little walk to a farmer's market earlier, holding a tote bag, swung by a bakery, and then went to the grocery store to buy a roasting chicken i mean that's all we need were you doing needlepoint sean were you doing needlepoint it did look like sean was doing needlepoint lacing up some shoes and i apologize i looked at i i just

i was just finishing lacing them as we started all this and we got talking as it's not my podcast the most fun part for me is being able to watch you realize it was your turn to talk and you had kind of left ian like i also could have bailed him out but i really enjoyed watching you continuing to lace a sneaker and then to go what's up yeah well that's a farmer's market buddy you don't say listen i got new shoes for my birthday. I bought myself some shoes and I'm going to skateboard in them and I can't leave things unlaced or undone or whatever. I get a little obsessive about it. There was like

four more eyelets to go and I did it. And I apologize. I'll never leave you guys hanging like that again. I was fine. I'm strong. Speaking of eyelets, Eyeletts Fisher, Eyelet Fisher, Sacha Baron Cohen, the new Borat movie is good. There it goes. Yeah. Yeah.

You said that like the other Borat movie wasn't good. Also good, but it seemed like the movie that would be really hard to make a good sequel for, but I feel like they nailed it. Yeah, you know why I think it works is because he wasn't afraid to hand off a lot of it to that woman that was his co-star. Who was phenomenal. She was so good like

that's a hard thing to do you make borat then you make another borat and you're like i'm gonna trust this other person to kind of run with it yeah but that's what you have to do otherwise it's like okay we get it my wife we get it we don't keep making the same joke i like that he gave us a couple of my wives in it he did he gave us a couple little things from the last movie yeah how was uh was that part with rudy jules as scathing as said to be that's what i wanted to know yeah oh gross it seemed as salacious as like the twitter thing made it seem i didn't like when i first saw it i was like surely surely it won't be as gross as it looks but like it looks so gnarly on that still shot i mean look even if he because i do

think it looked like he was tucking in his shirt at least it for either way you wouldn't do that in a room like it would be uncomfortable yeah i've had audio people who go out of their way to make me try to make me feel less uncomfortable that actually makes me feel more uncomfortable it's a weird thing in our industry when someone reaches for your mic and you're like, how are we gonna do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do. So like, it is a weird moment, but everyone in the room is aware and just he didn't seem at all worried

about anyone feeling weird about him shoving his hand on his pants. Usually not the reporter probably who takes your mic off. No, and if she attempts to- And they went to another room, they went to the bedroom to do it, to have a drink and then take his mind.

It was he put his hand on her waist. She was supposed to be like a teenager. It was all weird. I don't know. I was trying to remember if they made it clear she was supposedly a teenager in front of him. I don't know. Not that that makes a fucking difference. She's a reporter at work.

But it was just like you can't assume that he was told that she was 15 it seemed like he was ready if it turned into a blow job yes i it's like i'm parsing out details on a thing that does not matter it was uncomfortable but the movie was kind of touching it was it had a lot of heart i really liked it it's weirdly touching it's like very sweet saying it yeah it's a perfect movie to start off this topic draft because i'm like i i liked it a lot yeah i don't know i liked it too it made me so happy also sajah baron cohen the trial of chicago seven i loved it i love it i just watched that i thought he did great i haven't seen that oh it's so it's on netflix it's an aaron sorkin and he plays abby hoffman in it yeah great bostonian uh yeah and jeremy strong is in it there, too.

The Strong Thurman over there. That's not a good name. I turned on Netflix the other day. That sounds like the way an old person would say it. I flipped on the old Netflix machine the other day, and there was so, there's too much. There's a lot. Yeah, it's overwhelming.

There's too much. I was like, this looks very well made and expensive and I haven't heard one single word about it. What is this show? Like, there's like six of those where I'm like, I haven't heard anyone in any circles and maybe it's because I'm not logging on to Twitter for as

long as I used to. I'm not hearing anybody talk about any of these things. We threw on last night on Netflix just picked a random show called The Queen's Gambit. Never even heard of that. Exactly. That doesn't make, those words don't mean anything together.

Is that where the Queen of England is throwing magical throwing cards? She's playing dice in an alley. I guarantee. I guarantee. She's just slicing people's heads off. Baby needs some new shoes for her corgis she uh no it was it's like a show about like a chess prodigy but like i wouldn't have been surprised if we clicked play on it and then

like it did a credit sequence and then after that there was just someone there like look we didn't think anyone was gonna watch this we didn't think anyone was gonna click it we really did we didn't make a show we just wanted to make a look charge anymore at one and i see it being a good thing that the old traditional gatekeepers are not gatekeepers anymore but at the same time i'm like so who's working the gate because i don't know what makes something good you'd think like it's on netflix i don't think they know i don't think anybody knows not really yeah i don't know there's it's just a lot of investment of like your time that's asking for you needed the gatekeepers right i needed a gift but you don't want there's it's just a lot of investment of like your time that's asking for you needed the gatekeepers right i needed a get but you don't want it to be the same ones jews

yeah well okay well what's i think my mic is unplugged something's up with my connection you guys got it from here i don't want to be a part of the views here expressed are not shared by viacom or any of its properties i'm being redistributed without my express written permission. Viacom. I don't like it. Owned by a Jew. You keep bringing it back there. We up in here.

And I'd like to leave. We good. I don't want to leave. I'm comfortable with or without the Jews. We did it. I'm also saying the same thing. Why'd you make it sound like I said something else? I'm comfortable with or without the Jews? We did it. I'm also saying the same thing. Why'd you make it sound like I said something else? Like, I'm comfortable with or without.

I'm right there in the middle. I don't know where Katie's at. All of a sudden, we're comfortable without the Jews. No, I didn't say that. David said that. Oh, my God. Katie Nolan. Have you guys ever been to Bolivia?

Whoa, wait. Whoa, whoa. Okay, what? I will shut my fucking computer down. Okay, now we're saying crazy stuff. I don't want to upset Katie, but you're Jewish, aren't you? That's right, 100%. 100% bar mitzvahed and everything. Sorry if that bummed you out, Katie.

I knew that. It didn't bum me out. Did you used to work at bar mitzvahs? Are you 100% bar mitzvahed worked and everything? I don't think so. I believe the term is bat mitzvahed. I worked my bar mitzvah. What if it was a benign mitzvah worked and everything? I don't think so. I believe the term is bat mitzvah. I worked my bar mitzvah. What if it was a benign mitzvah?

Huh, David? What about then? Because I've been to one because twins. I think that's what that means. What's a benign mitzvah, Ian? I don't know. You said it. You brought that up.

But I've heard it before. I think it's when twins. It's a benign mitzvah, which is when they don't play any R. Kelly. It's like, good, it's okay. Katie, if you ever go to Bolivia, you should let us know what it's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love to know. I hear stuff.

Chinese Jamal told me about it a couple times. He goes. He probably goes. He probably goes. The guy who's never been to Bolivia is Sean Jordan. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram.

Sean Cutting Fac is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Sean cutting facial hair on Instagram, dude. Haircut, no beard, looking clean. It's two boys. It's two boys. Is it Benay? What is it called again? Is it Benoy? You said it different.

Benay Brith. Benoy. Yep, it's two boys. Benoy Mitzvah. Benoy. Of different families? Benoy. Benoy. Well, it doesn't specify mine the one i went to is because there were twin the blum twins dan and jeff it's pronounced blumpkin it's yeah i was gonna say it's a poop you're right isn't that where you poop on someone wow this is incredibly is incredibly disrespectful. What? To Ian's religion. Thank you.

Pretty rude. You're both canceled. He's devout. Wow. Can you use that when you're not saying Christian? Can you use devout with any religion?

I think so. Yeah. 100%. Can you use it with anything that's not religious? You're a devout skateboarder. Yeah.

I don't think I would. You'll hear about devout joggers every now and then. Maybe like devout fans of a sports team. Oh, yeah. I think it's supposed to be something you believe in. Then I'm devout with our friendship. No, Sean.

Katie, I believe in it. I know. What are you supposed to do now? What are you supposed to do now, Katie? I don't know. Look around. Look at your feet. It's the Queen's Gambit.

Yeah. Yeah. It just means totally committed to a cause or belief. What's a gambit? A gambit is a gamble. It's a dope card player from the X-Men. That's part of it. Yeah, I know who Gambit is.

Don't things run the gambit? Or is that gambit? No, that's the gambit. What's a gambit? It's what you run. Yeah. Duh. You guys don't know.

You looked at me like I'm an idiot. We know. You don't know? What do you mean? We know what a gambit is. What's a gambit? I definitely know. We're not going to mansplain it.

No, we can't mansplain it. Oh, it's just because you're men and you explain it. We're not going to mansplain it. It doesn't mean you're mansplaining it. I think that's the definition. No, it isn't. Marissa can explain it, but we can't explain what we do know. I can't really explain it either.

Complete range or scope of something. Yeah, that's what we just said. We knew that. You didn't say that. I knew it. We just said that. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to look up gambit.

I knew it for sure. I can't speak to Ian and Dave, but I knew it for sure. I'm anxious to know what a gambit is at Portland State University. A gambit is a device, action, or opening remark, typically one entailing a degree of risk that is calculated to gain an advantage. Yeah, like, welcome. Yeah. Is that like a pickup line?

Like, how much does a polar bear weigh? Is that a gambit? It seems like it. Could be. It seems like a gamble mixed with a pulpit. Because you're speaking. I'm just trying to make myself remember how a gambit is. That doesn't make sense in my brain.

We can move on. It's okay. It's okay. David, how much does a polar bear weigh, David? Cheese and rice. What? How much does a polar bear weigh, David? Enough to break the ice.

Nice, dude. You want to go home and bone or what? You want to go home and bone or what you wanna go home and bone or you just wanna fuck here this bar is great and you don't know me

but you just wanna fuck here in the parking lot or at my house cause you got it David picked me up for pick up line work alright

now I wanna fuck him role playing now we role play here I don't even know how to pretend to deal with that like i tried to really pass it through my head like what if sean was gonna fuck me but you tried it for the

fifth time and you said how much does a polar bear weigh david i'm gonna say it one more time how much does a polar bear polar bear weigh ian how much does a polar bear weigh, David? Ask me how much a polar bear weighs. Ian, how much does a polar bear weigh? 990 pounds, usually. That's the average weight. Oh, I'm soaked. Let's go have sex. Okay. Yep.

Yep. Just for clarification, he's soaked with pee. Why are you soaked? Because he peed himself. I spilled hot sauce everywhere. I dropped my burrito when he hit on me. It's pee. They say it's not pee, it's pee. I can't do this today. He was boiling hot, it's pee. I can't do this today.

He was boiling hot dogs at the bar. I can't do this today. And he spilled the water on himself. Oh, God. I don't have this today. I don't have this speed. It's Sunday. You ever go to a bar where they have like a hot dog thing?

Have I ever gone to a bar where they have a hot dog thing? Jesus, dude. You knew it. I was born in a bar where they had a hot dog thing. I'm going to die in a bar where they have Jesus, dude. You know it. What are you doing? I was born in a bar where they had a hot dog thing. Gonna die in a bar where they have a hot dog thing, probably. I feel like I've seen David

cook hot dogs at bars before. I feel like I've been served by David. He used to run the grill at Faded, which is kind of a bar. I do that. Anything to promote, Sean? Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I was just talking about...

I was gonna... Sorry, I was gonna promote the bar that I used to work at where I had to run the fryer and the bar at the same time. Ooh, what was just talking about, I was gonna, sorry, I was gonna promote the bar that I used to work at where I had to run the fryer and the bar at the same time. Ooh, what was it? Go on. What were you gonna promote?

Mine was called Bench Warmers. It was in a strip mall in Long Island. Were you nice with the fryer? What'd you guys do? Like jalapeno poppers? No, I was very bad at it. We did, it was like fries. There was, I think, fried ravioli.

There was mozzarella sticks. It just wasn't a job that one person should do both of. It didn't make any sense. That's too much. You got to have a dedicated fryer. Yes. You need a fry guy.

Yeah, fry guy for sure. Fry gal too, anybody. At a sports bar, why not get Irving Fryer? He's not busy. Sure, of course. Sean, anything to promote? I got nothing coming up. Go to Benchwarmers if you're feeling.

Yeah, go to Benchwarmers. It's surely closed by now. There's no way it lasted very long. They haven't made it through the last eight months. Yeah, I lied my way into the job by saying I had bartended before. I had not. And then the first shift it was that kind of bar. A guy walked in and ordered

a rusty nail. And I was like, you dickhead. I will Google that. What is a rusty nail? Scotch with Drambuie floating on top of it no and drambuie for those who don't know is a scotch liqueur so it's scotch with sweet scotch on top of it rusty and then a bunch of war stories afterwards yes and then a lot of please stop calling me sweetheart uh after that and then you're saying hands all day. Yeah, I get it.

That came with the Drambuie. Drambuie, what a name. Man, I have drank too much Drambuie, I'll tell you that. The Blazers drafted Drambuie instead of Michael Jordan, and it haunts me to this day. I was in the basement of a Buffalo Exchange riding the conveyor belt drunk on Drambuie one time. Really?

Yeah. Swear to God. Wait, that's real. Yeah, that happened. Yeah. Sean was there.

It was the first high planes. The after party was sponsored by Drambuie. It was the only free liquor and they had it in the basement of the Buffalo exchange and it got weird down there. Buffalo exchange where you, where you bring your clothes back to sell it? Wasn't that night. Wasn't that night. It is that

though, yes. High Plains after parties get a little bit weirder than the Bridgetown after parties did. It's about the most Denver thing you could do as a High Plains after party. I don't know how to explain it, but it's just everything that's going on there is that's what Denver is.

They get weird. It gets weird down there. Bad cocaine in a basement. Where's High Plains? Yeah, or you're like, it's in Denver. It's like a neighborhood of Denver. Oh, no, it's on South Broadway, but it's in Denver. At High Plains, I've done bad cocaine in a basement, and I've gotten way too stoned in a second floor office building.

Yeah. And that's all High Plains. I remember I was there with you during that. Yeah. basement and i've gotten way too stoned in a second floor office building yeah i remember i was there with you during that yeah i'm trying it so it's like south by southwest light or south by southwest yeah we are dark south by southwest heavy that's what it is okay i get it yeah that helps me put it in context like do you want to make out with the stranger in uh the back of a bookstore maybe at four in the morning yeah while there's a dj pumping then yeah that's it other people and the dj's me and the dj's ian yeah you can see him from where you're making out whoa rolling i get it i get it now dark yeah yeah playing mariah carey and

dancing in a Hawaiian shirt. That's what I have to promote. Everybody's shirts are open. Yeah. Whenever High Plains starts again, go there, because we'll be there. Not to the after party. That's just for us. No, go.

No, go. Oh, I wish it were a visual medium. Well, Katie can come. Yeah. David Bordy is here. Cool guy. Oh, I just want to cleanly get my Drambuie. That's who the Blazers drafted instead of Michael Jordan. We got Oh, I just want to cleanly get my Drambuie.

That's who the Blazers drafted instead of Michael Jordan. We got it. I think we got it. We got to clean. Yeah, we got to clean. We got to clean. We got to clean. Can you do it again dirty, though? Go nuts with this one.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Just kind of a crazy take. Yeah, just feel it. Just feel it. Just feel it. Go, go, go. Drambuie.

Is that who the Blazers took instead of Michael Jeffrey Jordan? Okay, now but more Indiana. Now more Indiana. One more. Tramp boy. Ain't that who the Blazers drafted instead of Michael Jeffrey Jordan? All right, we got it. That's a series wrap on Ian Carmel, guys.

Thank you guys so much. That's a series wrap. Thank you guys so much. Enjoy Turks and Caicos, pal. Hey, come on. Mentally, I've been there for two days. I love it. I'm going to go hit crafty. I left that book I was telling you

about in your dressing room. Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The GS Island on Twitter. What do you got going on, buddy? Nothing. Yeah. Cool. Nothing. Nothing. You're making a gumbo later, right? you're making a gumbo later right i'm making a

gumbo after this uh you know i got i'm going to colorado for a little bit soon so when are you going to colorado i get there on not soon never mind i get there on november 20th but what is time it doesn't matter that is kind of soon i. It's sooner than anything else I have to look forward to. Are you going for Thanksgiving? And Christmas. And the Mass of Christ. I'm gonna go for a month. Nice, dude. I got friends and family

I need to commune with. What's that like for you? Because I can't do that at this age. I'm very excited actually. I'm gonna go fishing a lot. I'm jealous. I got an airbnb though so it's like i'm like away from that's smart that's really smart yep i'm like four days tops with my family and it's nothing against them it's just you're at a different you're just a different age now and you can't interact like no you gotta go and get like your place so then i can be like i can have

days where i'm like oh i'm probably not probably not going to see anybody. Yeah. You need those days. Yeah. Although I was up in Portland. I stayed at my mom's house and she let me whip the Audi around. That's pretty great. Yeah, you sure did. That's pretty great. You sure did.

Was there a top on the Audi when you were whipping it around town? Did you have the top on? There was not. There was not. Don't say the car's topless. Say the titties is out. Don't say that. Will Miles tweeted it.

I've felt that for years. Don't say that. Don't ever say that to somebody in a convertible. That Nas lyric, it was terrible. Your titties is out? Why not? I see you got the titties out. It sounds weird to yell.

No. Sounds bad to yell. I think maybe it's just because I'm used to it. I think I'm just really used to hearing it. So it's not weird to me. I hate it. People are always like, I see your titties is out. And I'm like, what's up?

You're like, I got it. Yeah out and i'm like what's up you're like i got yeah i got it just walking down the street i'm actually just walking i don't have a car so it's just a thing people yell at me this is actually about your titties oh this is like not as good as what i thought oh yeah no no no no it's good so i think everyone should do it you know also yell like oh i'm gonna oh i bet you you know so good at sex just yell stuff like that at people and that means the top's down on the car you're like i bet you 36 positions in a one-night stand and they're like oh yeah i could slap you around well it's 81 did i ever tell you though that i got in trouble for saying that like the year it came out so So like five, six, maybe years old. Wait, the Prince one or the, yeah,

that song get off my mom. My babysitter was also a young woman and she like played that song a bunch. And I guess I liked it at however many years old I was. And then my mom picked me up and she said, I was in the back of the car, just like 23 positions in a one night stand. But I was four. You had no idea what it meant.

No, no, no. You were like a power forward. But I like. Linebacker. I do like that even little me heard it and was like, wait, there's some part. This line is awesome. I don't know why. Just something about this song speaks to me.

23 positions. I don't think I've ever done a grand total of 23 positions. No. Not in my whole life. Certainly not in one night. That's Prince numbers. Certainly not in one night. We can't talk about Prince numbers, guys.

I think you would get a little, you would get. Chafed? You would take issue with saying that certain positions are different than other ones like yeah you've i've seen like uh kama sutra illustrations where i'm like well that's essentially this position with one bent leg it's not a different position right right oh your ankle your ankle is turned inward slightly yes i think for a position to change it has to change where the leverage comes from. Yeah, you got to change the fulcrum.

You have to change... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is the right word. And the fulcrum could be anybody. It could be another person. You don't know. You could fulcrum at the same time if you really work at it.

Oh, that's the only way to get pregnant. That's right. That's how you achieve enlightenment. Also, if you fulcrum when she's on top, she can't get pregnant. That's also true. Well, it's with a girl. She cancrum when she's on top she can't get pregnant that's also true well it's with a girl yeah she can't have a girl if you do everything right it changes from fulcrum

to fulcum god damn it that was the joke you just said the quiet part out loud why'd you do that hey look at this bird it's fun to say it's fun to come It's fun to say. It's not.

It's fun to come. I had a good time. It's fun to come. Well, he had a good time. So let's. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the whole thing. That's good.

The baby's on fire with romantic love. The neighbors complain about the noises above. But she only full crumbs when she's on top. That's so funny. Yeah.'s a that's a big bar jukebox song isn't it that's one that people love loading in at a bar jukebox and by people i mean shane torres oh no are the 49ers beaten up on the patriots don't look no i didn't look my brother just texted me you tell that that Dan Soder that I hate him. He stinks and he's no good for you, which I assume means that we're getting our dicks kicked in. Maybe Dan's getting canceled. It's one or the other.

He keeps getting Dan-celed. Somebody Google it. No, Dan-celed. Whee! Katie Nolan is here. Katie Nolan on Twitter. Naty Colon. That's it.

For the love of fucking Christ on Instagram. Host of the Sports with Katie Nolan podcast, which we love. Which we love. We fucking love. Two days a week now. Two days a week. Double your pleasure. Double your fun. Double your laughing.

You've said all the stuff to promote. I don't have anything else. We are two days a week now. If you have ears, it's for you. That's the audience. It's less a sports podcast and more a podcast by people who like sports but also want to talk about other stuff. We're not as bogged down in the details as we could be. You're not Bogdan Bogdanovich.

That's right. We are not Bogdan Bogdanovich. But you do know who he is. We do. We are not Bogdan Bogdanovich. But you do know who he is. We do. We know of him, but we don't know more about him than I think is probably necessary. But you love the Bhagavad Gita. Right. So, that's the

podcast. It's like this podcast but with less men. Oh, I have something to promote. Let's go, Mars. Let's go, Mars. This is for everyone. So All Fantasy Everything and Sports are nominated for a Discovery Podcast Award.

Sorry, what was the second podcast you said there? Because it felt like maybe you didn't read a question mark. Sports with Kate Holland? Thank you so much.

And also Punch of the Jam is also nominated for a Discovery Podcast Award. That's not this podcast, all right? You don't know what our relationship with Miel is right now,

Marissa. Maybe we're on the outs, alright? Maybe we're not. We love her. I still see her green Instagram stories. Yeah, you could vote for all three of those podcasts. I'm going to link it in the episode description. It's super quick to do. It just takes like five

seconds. You just got to enter an email and that's it. It'll support the show. If we it would be really nice so yeah that's what i want to promote vote for all fancy everything and sports this is probably the wrong time to say this but who decides who gives out awards for podcasts they do i know we're supposed to just be like discovery yes i love who is that? They. I want to win it. You're damn right I want to win it. I don't know who they are.

It's the Discovery Channel. It's an 800-pound person, a penguin, an ancient alien, and a Roman centurion, and they get together. Is that their board of directors? That's the board of directors,

and they figure out who gets the podcast award. It's the suits. So please vote for us. Please vote for sports. And then if you have an extra vote, toss it to Punch Up the Jam, but really vote for All Fantasy Everything first. Excellent.

Thank you, Marissa. Thank you for pointing that out. Of course. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on the Jewish Gelson's app where you go in and you're like,

this is what a chicken costs? I don't think so. But over your phone. Is that what you did today? I did. It was expensive for a chicken. Yo, they really get at you at Gelson's. I've gone a couple times just to feel cool. Is it a supermarket? Yeah. Yeah, it's a bougie. It's not bougie. It's like an old money supermarket.

I saw Billions at Gelson's and I saw Bloodline at Gelson's. You watch movies excited movies at the grocery store no i saw the two main characters from each oh oh i was like what i saw axe i saw axe at gelson's and he's fucking huge by the way and then i saw ben mendelsohn at gelson's i don't remember him being big huge he's shredded too yes like a billionaire his lips are smaller than the width of his nose. Yeah, that's for sure. Yes, I know that. I'm going to buy

these grapes so hard they're going to think they were wrestling Jimmy the Snooker. Take two. It's hard to say. Alright. Rolling. I'm going to buy these grapes so hard they're going to think they were wrestling Jimmy the Superfly Snooker at the Madison Garden in 87.

There it is. That's nice. Will you do me a solid? Will you do your improv warm-up? Oh, wait, wait. To sit at the theater room? On a very long duck with my dick. What?

I almost don't do that. To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock in a pestilential prison with a lifelong lock awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block. Grooves in the heart. Yeah. Grooves in the heart.

Who taught you that and why? A theater teacher taught me that as a vocal warm-up. You're a television personality. What do you do to get the brain brain in the mouth in sync i just go and usually i'll have i'll have like circled any any uh name because sometimes i'm just read dumb we're like i'll just i read i like want to say, like the football, okay, the old Florida State football coach, Bobby Bowden. I always want to say Bowden. I don't know why.

It's just a thing my brain does. Because it's spelled Bowden. Dude. And so it's like having to remember. So I'll circle those before I start and I'll say them all correctly. But if anyone comes near me and says like, didn't you think it was Bowdoin? I'm like, now you put the wrong one in my head. Oh, I hate that.

Now someone's in my head. And now I'm going to say the wrong one and freak out. I read a chapter for an audio book recently and I kept saying Norm McDonald's. That's right. You said that. I heard that. Big problem.

I met the rapper Amine. Oh, Amine? Amine? It's not Amine? Is rapper Amine Amine Amine Is it Amine Ian said it wrong and he was bummed He was peeved but I got in my head beforehand He was mad at you for saying it wrong How'd you say it

However wrong He called him Jefferson See and now you're scared of it so you don't even remember which one's right This happens to me with a lot of stuff Where I'm like I don't remember the right one so now i never want to think about it again or worcestershire sauce is that what it is you say worcestershire worcestershire sauce i always did it with the white with the white stripes i called him jack off white all the time and it's not it's just i used to call him i used to call jack white jack off white because i thought his name was jack

off why would his name be jack off i just thought it White because I thought his name was Jack Off. Why would his name be Jack Off? I just thought it was Jack Off White. Wait, you thought his name was Jack Off? Did you think his last name was Off White? I thought his last name was White. I just thought his first name was Jack Off. No, you didn't. Why would you think that?

I didn't. Okay. All right. I didn't. I never thought that. I thought we were being honest and baring our souls. Here's one that we used to do. This wasn't serious, but I always used to say Fred Burst instead of Fred Durst, and

people would be like, it's fucking Durst. And I'm like, I know it's not Fred Burst, but it's funny to say. Seems like Mack Weldon. Fred Burst and Jack Off White. Fred Burst. Dimplisket. What was your friend telling you? Fred Burst.

Dim Blisket. What was your friend telling you? She tried to, she just at a party tried to convince a dude that his name was Bintz Bon and the guy won apeshit apparently. Why do we come back to this every week? I love that we did. LeBar Vol. LeBar Vol. LeBar Vol.

LeBar Vol. LeBar Vol. LeBar Vol. LeBar Vol. LeBar Vol. LeBar Vol. LeBar Vol. Bintz Bon. Kevarsketval. Bin Spahn.

Kev Underpants. That one's gold. Katie, you'll like this one. My buddy in elementary school used to tell me Clyde Drexler's nickname. Wait, wait, wait. What's happening? I want to know that. I want to know that too, Ian.

Did you just call it elementary school? I think you did. And I loved it. That's awesome. I loved it. Yeah, me too. I should. I didn't mean to, but can we just do that? just do that elementary it sounded like you did it on purpose like

when i was in elementary school my buddy told me that clyde drexler's nickname was clyde the clyde even though he was on a sports illustrator for kid cover with airplane wings for arms he still told me his name was clyde the clyde and he was a bully so i was forced to be like well maybe it is crazy for that so it is crazy for him clyde asshole the clyde drexler it's fucking brilliant sean the clyde jordan that's right now it's that kind of podcast it's it's that kind that mistakes the name clyde drexler. We are gathered here today, not only to muse about the career of Vince Vaughn, and he has, Vince Vaughn, but also to fantasy draft Guilty

Pleasure IAs. Guilty Pleasures. Wide open. We initially came to it as a Guilty Pleasure musical draft, and then we opened it all the way the fuck up to Guilty Pleasure anything. It's one of those topics I can't believe we haven't done yet, and I'm very excited to be doing it with the three of you. I think it's going to be a lot of you. It feels as though you've done it.

I was like, surely this has been done before. That's what I thought too, but I guess not. I mean, if I'm a prick, did I miss it? Did you guys look? I don't think we've done it. I looked. Okay, four years, we repeat one? God forbid.

I guarantee you don't pick any of the same things. How many pick and rolls do the Lakers run? You know what I mean? That's plenty. That's right. Come on. I looked. We haven't done it.

Yeah, we haven't. I don't think we've done it. Maybe you've called it something else. Doesn't matter. I mean, you could say that stuff that's good actually could kind of be this. Didn't you guys draft things that are good actually? But aren't these ones that we do kind of feel bad about? This will be different.

Yeah. I think you're fine. They've talked about guilty pleasures on the subreddit. Shout out to the AFE subreddit. Or wait, no, that's just our fantasy. Ha ha ha ha. What?

Not us. Gross. That's a different subreddit. Ew, ew. It's like a porn subreddit? No, no. No, we haven't done it. Fantasy novels.

Swords. Sorcery. That kind of thing. Oh. Okay. Got it, got it, got it, got it. So porn. Anyway, I don't think we've done it.

And if we have, meh, gabagool. We're going to be doing it today. Can we just start saying meats one for like, meh? I think so. Okay. Hey, prosciutto. Hey, prosciutto. Hey.

The weird thing about this topic, and I think the reason we haven't done it assuming we haven't uh baloney uh that is because we're not like guilty pleasure people i think we earnestly enjoy the things we enjoy i think the thing about a guilty pleasure is it technically gleans two things from your answer it's one something you enjoy and two something you feel you're supposed to be ashamed about and the tough thing with this group is that we're like, I don't really care. I lean in to my being embarrassed.

I know this is dumb, but it's a thing I like. But I think for the integrity of the draft, we just have to pick based on the standards of most people. I got a few. Even though we don't ascribe to those rules of society, Katie, you're 100% right. For this draft, we will be using them as our guidepost. Now, the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rolling game of society, Katie, you're 100% right. For this draft, we will be using them as our guidepost.

Now, the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rolling game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Ooh, three rocks. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Three papers. Rock, paper,

scissors, shoot! Oh, Sean wins. Sean threw scissors. Yes. David and Katie threw rocks. Sean, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft.

And what is that? Great question. Well, I was reminded by your vocal warmup. We can sort of use a vocal warmup to explain it. It's like if we can sort of use a vocal warm-up it like kind of to explain it it's like if you were just to do a vocal warm-up forward and then repeat the last word and go backwards sort of like sally sells seashells by the seashore seashore the by seashells sells sally sally sells seashells by the seashore seashore the by seashells sells sally just kind of go back and. Who does that?

Basically, what it means is you pick fourth in the first round. You pick first in the second round. Why wouldn't you just use do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do? I think I've used that before. Oh, okay. I think I've already done that. Don't tell anybody, but I think I've already done that. Off-pod between you and me? I'm picking up what you put down. I see what you're saying.

I'm riding the train. You hear me clucking, big chicken? Yeah, I got it. This is a little inside podcast talk right now. Just podcast host to podcast. That was a little, what do they call that? I get it. I'm picking up what you put down.

What do they call it where it sounds all smooth like when you're close to the mic? What's that called? This is called ASMR and it's not when it's smooth. It's the proximity effect or ASMR. Yeah.

Yeah, listen, she knows audio better than I do. When you get real close like this, this is the proximity effect. Ooh! Ooh! Can I go on?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please no. Ugh! Why? Why please no for me, Katie? Because your microphone always pops, David, and it hurts my ears, David.

I have a great voice! Of course you do. You're the voice of Comedy Central, but when you get too close to the mic and it pops, it's so loud. It's not going to pop. Here, David.

All right. It's not going to pop. It's so loud. Do it again. Do it again real quick. It's weird. Sometimes I'd like to drink Windex. That's beautiful.

I'm so... You're absolutely right. See? That's really lovely. Come on. Is that your gumbo pot behind you? Oh, yeah. It's huge.

He likes to have it where he can touch it all the time. Let's go. Gumbo. I love that. Nice. Yeah, it's big as hell. That's a big pot. It's big as hell.

That's a really big pot. All right. That's a really big pot behind you. It's not really working for you. I think it's the type of microphone you have. Welcome to All Fantasy Everything. There it is. Oh, can we take the top off?

No, you're going to get the CIA involved. Yeah, let the titties out. The titties is out. Let the titties out. I hate it. You're so polite with it. I still hate it. I still hate it.

I thought I was going to hate it. I hate it. Let the titties out. I thought that would I still hate it. I still hate it. I thought I was going to hate it. I hate it. Let the titties out. I thought that would do it for you. I'm putting the cap back on. Oh, good for you. Now, Sean, with that order firmly in mind, what will the order of today's All Fantasy Everything Fantasy Draft be?

I'll go first. Sean first. We'll say Katie, David, Ian. Hot corner. Hot corner. Okay. Okay. Hot corner. Hot corner. Okay. Third.

All right, well, Sean, you were first up in the All Fantasy Everything Guilty Pleasures Fantasy Draft, and we will get to that first pick right after. What are you doing? David is literally seething right now. You look like a linebacker trying to psych me out. Yeah, sometimes I find I can get myself really excited

just by breathing aggressively. You did. And you, like, did something crazy with your face. You didn't look like yourself. No. You're like the linebacker in the program. I don't like that. I don't like that.

I used to do it when I wrestled. This whole thing. That would get immediately into my head. I would be psyched out. Like, you would have won before it started. I'd like nah he's doing some weird shit man i still to this day only know two wrestling moves a double leg and a half nelson it got me through like six years isn't there a wrestling move called a chicken wing you're telling me you don't know the chicken oh man what do you what does that mean sean what there wasn't another wrestler who knew it you just went over and picked it up every yeah i fought him for it at a bar

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the only podcast that has ever existed, the only example of media that has ever existed, except, of course, for sports with Katie Nolan. Those are the two. Nice. Those are the two. That's it. It's what you got.

Guess what? It's more podcasts than your parents grew up with. Count your fucking blessings, all right? Wow. Look at that. I like that. Get cocky, not fin yum. Count your fucking blessings, all right? Wow. Look at that. I like that. Get cock enough and yum. You know what I'm saying?

Thank you. Is that what it is? It is get cock enough and yum. I remember it as get cock enough and yum. So that's how it's... But I say it in my head all the time. I still don't remember what it means. Go shit off a dock.

That's right. Oh, get cock enough and yum. Get cock enough and yum. That's right. Get, get cocking off in the arm. Get cocking off in the arm. That's right. Get cocking off in the arm. Get cocking off in the arm. And you could say it, because it's Yiddish, and people don't know what it means. You could say something rude to someone, but do it.

It just means all sunflowers are blossoming at their own time. Exactly. Get cocking off in the arm. You know? That's what my grandpa used to say. Get cocking off in the arm, you know? That's what my grandpa used to say. Get cocking off in the arm. Okay. Sean.

Sean, you won the game of rock, paper, scissors, and as the winner, you get the first pick in the All Fantasy Everything Guilty Pleasures draft. We're going to go to Sean Jordan now for his first pick in that draft. Sean Jordan is standing by with the pick. Jaeger bombs, bro. You do.

Oh, that's so funny. I'm drinking a Red Bull. I had to hide it this whole time. Jaeger bombs is perfect, Sean. Why is there even a hammer? Put the hammer away. I'm sorry. I got all kinds of stuff over here is it for the gumbo i get it it is for the gumbo i try to sneak them in like i'll go to the bartender on the side and i'm like can i get it can i get it just slide it over it's also a move that you'll do like if i get to a bar

with you but we've already been drinking but we get there like before friends get there you'll be like hey you wanna are you a bomb guy in general not like a not like like do you like an irish i know we're not supposed to call it that anymore but do you like oh you are i don't know i'm a dirty i'm a dirty irishman you call it that all you want yes i like an irish car bombs and stuff like that because that one you got to go faster it's curdling and that is rather disgusting I only got one bomb gear it's fast okay alright taking our car bomb down with the quickness Sean likes bombs Sean's like getting bombed

yeah he's Sonic the bomb hog have you tried other things in Red Bull like I think they do like an orange vodka I bet you everything oh there's that bar when I was a bartender go ahead no I was just gonna say Oh, there's that bar in... When I was a bartender... Go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, we were... There's that bar in Austin

next to Esther's Follies that is all bombs. Did we not go there? Oh, I'm sure we did. It's like... All? It's like all bombs. It's like all bombs. Ugh. Monster bombs. Pepsi bombs. I mean... All bombs. I like... Is it called Bombs Away? I don't remember that. Oh, God, I don't remember. I went there with Chris Cubis once.

Bombs over Baghdad? And we were doing like monster sake bombs. I like that. That is a good name. We had a, when I was a bartender, I made up a drink and it was called the Barack O. Bomber. Oh, boy. It was Bacardi O. and Red Bull. That was it.

All right. Did I guess? As long as it wasn't like Hennessy. That's the kind of bartender I was. Or whatever, you know. I don't think you as it wasn't like Hennessy. That's the kind of bartender I was. Or whatever, you know. I don't think you're legally allowed to bomb Hennessy. Not on the West Coast. No.

Not on the West Coast. Yeah, Jäger bombs. That's a great and honest first pick. I do get a little embarrassed. I don't get embarrassed about a lot. And getting Jäger bombs in front of people, I get a little. Because a lot of times they're like, that's going to be $12. And I'm like, that's all right.

Give it to me. I want to spend $12 on it. It reminds you for whatever reason of a time in your life when you did them. And you're just, we all know, I think, like at a cellular level, we're not supposed to go back there. It's okay to take the Red Bull with you,

but you're not, we can't go back to that. That's the way I feel when I smell certain Glade plugins at Target. And I'm like, oh my god, that's my freshman dorm. Ah, I'm running from that scent. Because we all had it. Scent is the scent

strongest tied to memory. It is true. Excuse me, bartender, could I have a Jagger Bomber, please? For me and my partner, we'd like Jägerbommers. Yeah, we both like Jägerbombs for the evening before we get started on the evening drinking. We like a Jägerbomber because it's energy

and also there's Jägermeister in the bomb. I'd like to get drunk off Jägerbombs. I like the Jägermeister and I like the Red Bull. We are both a couple of Mr. Meisters, so bring a Jäger. I'd like it with the bomb. Put a bomb in the Jäger. I gotta... Oh, wait, so bring a Jäger. I thought, what the bomb? Put a bomb in the Jäger. I got a way to have it. Hold on.

Go get a Jäger bomb. Get a Jäger bomb for sure. Get a Jäger bomb, kid. Oh, no. Yes. Katie's got a Jäger Meister. I went to an event where they were it was like a Jäger promoted thing and one guy had the sweatshirt on. You can't see, were it was like a Jaeger

promoted thing and one guy had the sweatshirt on you can't see but it's like blue on the ends it's like blue in the hood and I was like this is a sick sweatshirt so he was like I'll give it to you and he took it off and I was like no thanks it's not that cool of a sweatshirt and then a couple weeks later at my office this showed up

and I was like hell yeah but it easily could have been he took off his sweatshirt and put it in the box i don't know or it weren't for a couple more weeks uh it's super comfortable too it looks comfortable yeah comfortable it's interesting that it's like chiquita banana colors yes yeah and it's like nothing about it looks correct it looks like a corona hoodie yeah yeah but it's a jaeger hoodie it's just like they just took every other yeah it's very weird it's the corona letter for those at home but um i will say sean we went and got drinks while i was in portland and there were no jaeger bombs consumed so well done no which i mean that was

different kind of i don't know like after i've been drinking for a while i don't really want or need one it's kind of when it starts start of the night and where we started we had some ciders and things yeah we were doing we were having some outdoor crisp cool fall weather ciders it was delightful yeah jaeger bomb first pick jaeger bomb katie time for your first pick in the guilty pleasures draft i'm going to go with ordering fast food delivered to your house oh yeah of course absolutely it is a it is a thing that I think originally, because you never remember where you were on an issue when you've evolved to a different stance.

What I mean by that is I remember first thinking that when McDonald's could deliver, I was like, ew, who would ever call McDonald's and be like, bring me that food. And then now here, month seven or whatever of the pandemic, I'm like, so Taco Bell tonight? We're going to get Taco Bell tonight? Absolutely. Because I don't have a car.

Like, I live in a place where I don't have a car, but fast food is now in my area, but not close enough for me to, I get fast food delivered. And like, I think 10 years ago, Katie would be disgusted by that thought. Do you put it on a plate when you get it at home? No. No, me either. No, I eat it. I try to eat it in a small, confined space.

Yeah, just like in a corner. Yeah, not in my kitchen. I just am like, let me get this in as fast as possible. You just go perch on the roof of a library and sit in the corner like a gargoyle and devour it? Yes, or then you have the time where they got something on your meal wrong and you, for a split second, consider complaining. And then you're like, you ordered from Taco Bell. And you're mad that they put lettuce on your cheesy gordita crunch.

In the grand scheme of life, I think this is just the L you have to hold. You need that lettuce. L stands for lettuce on that one. That's right. I'm just like, I'll pick it out. I don't want any more people to know that I ate this today. The only time I get delivery fast food is when it's the last bad decision of the night

in a night full of bad decisions. No, not me. It's usually like at 2 a.m. We've already had a big dinner and I'm like, would anyone want Taco Bell big dinner and i'm like would anyone want taco bell and then everyone does well good for you ian i can't relate i am talking like it's dinner and dan will be like what do you want to do for dinner tonight and we've had freaking everything because we've been here for seven months and then i'm like do you want to just get popeye's

sandwiches and he's like yeah let's just get Popeye's sandwiches nobody has to know inside you're both doing like backflips it's comfort food it's really awful to say but I think a lot of my childhood is based in like McDonald's drive-thru trips that was always the like treat that now I'm like I know better

I know better but the taste of two cheeseburgers dipped into sweet and sour sauce with a medium fry that the taste of two cheeseburgers dipped into sweet and sour sauce with a medium fry. There you go. The taste of a fountain soda delivered without ice and then you put ice in it. You bring your own ice. It's just like, that's my childhood. I like a cross dipper like that.

I'll dip a cheeseburger in sweet and sour. So good. Like it's supposed to be for nugs. I go crazy with the sausage. I'm with you. I love this. But anyway, I feel guilty every time I do it, that I'm like, what did I have for food today? Well, the nicest meal

I got this week was chipotle, which is like fast food, but with a suit on. It's fast casual. Yes, exactly. It's fast food and a button down. It's not much fancier. It is. A short sleeve button down. Yes, exactly. The day that you filled out your ballot, you

got chipotle and you're like, I'm eating nice today. Yeah. I voted. It's like a guy wearing a polo under a sports coat. Wait. He came from golf? I don't. Do you guys,

I was just talking about this the other day. When did Under Armour transition into dad formal wear? Yeah, that is weird. Pretty quick. Because remember, it was cool for a minute. I think it was when steph put out those those shoes you think the stepdad knows the stepdad i feel like that's when we all started

just accepting that everybody because like that that was gonna happen when i was in high school i would think it was crazy if i saw people wear it at school i'd be like you're just in third period with your cold gear right now yeah it's super weird well because they always pushed the science they were like we know the science of how to keep warmth near your body or how to keep cold weight you know what i mean they like we're always science heavy and then it was like why are you wearing that out and they were expensive i mean that price point i never had real cold gear my shit was fake i had fake cold gear i did too hell yeah It didn't work and my parents were like yeah because we bought it at the outlet Yeah who's gonna Buy me a $65 shirt

What are you talking about The only thing I ever got was the under the helmet hat That was cool though Did it help though at all I stopped wearing it Because it would like Slowly start riding up my forehead Throughout the game.

Yeah. And then just end up like a useless discarded condom on the top of my head. I never could wear shit under my helmet. Just something about my head or something. I don't know. Good story, David. Something about your head is we would like for it to produce the next pick of the draft. Oh, this one.

I don't know if I've ever, I think I have talked about this. It's like, I think I've talked about it on the podcast, but I will spend time, and it's not just this one genre. It just goes into all manner of it. But I'm starting with pimple popper videos. Oh, gross. Yeah, you have talked about it a little bit, but yeah. I'll go into rhinoplasty

oh yeah all that shit i can do the pimple popping i cannot watch plastic surgery happen it's really gnarly it's real i know it's gonna puke i know and i'll lose time to it. I'll lose time to it. I don't know why people like that. I don't know. It's really, it's like a lot more common than you'd think, but yeah, it's fucking gross. You know what Dan's super into that I think is related to this? He loves watching videos of people shave their dreadlocks off.

He loves it. I think it's the same thing as like a pimple is like watching someone relieve themselves of what's stuck. I think you're right. Like if you have dreadlocks and you're just like, get this off of my head.

No, I don't think it's the same at all. Yes, it is. I think it absolutely is. I like dreadlocks. I see people with dreadlocks sometimes and I'm like, oh, I think that looks nice. I like your life.

I bet it's itchy as hell. I'm never like, oh man, I want that looks nice I like your life I bet it's itchy as hell I'm never like oh man I want to pop those locks off your face I'm talking I imagine he's talking about like white dude dreadlocks when you're just like it's all the same dread it's all the same once it's dreaded baby just get it off

my head it probably I think I know what you're saying Katie it is a relief it's like it would be like a relief watching somebody pop something is like oh it's out of you thank god ew that was all inside of you it's a relief thing. It is a relief. It's like it would be like a relief. It's like watching somebody pop something. It's like, oh, it's out of you. Thank God. Ew, that was all inside of you. It's definitely a relief.

Because we watch it sometimes, and I'll be like, my jaw is clenched. I have to go outside. Yeah. You're going to smoke a cigarette. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like on right. I'm turnt. Yeah.

Anyways. Are you a popper on yourself? I have very good skin. i rarely have any pimples like since high school like i get like four pimples a year or some shit so no not really i got a big guy on my face right now you guys probably see it no i did my nickel by the way there's been limited skirmishes in this area for the entire year i just can't not pop something that's on my face i that's my guilty pleasure. But every time I do get a pimple,

it's Pop City, yeah, for sure. Yeah, alright, and then you love watching them. When did you learn that you loved watching pimples get popped? Not that long ago, maybe three, four years ago when the, I just started seeing them, I saw one on Instagram and I was like, oh, that's weird. They took over the algorithm on YouTube.

They were always like, might I recommend cyst removal? It's like a very compulsive thing. I don't know, though. Yeah. I understand the appeal. But I just don't. It just does not work on me. It grosses me out.

Listen, I'm not trying to put it on anybody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want it for you guys. Right. I want to take Irish car bombs. Or what were we talking? Jaeger bombs. Mm-hmm.

Sake bombs. Taco Bell at your house. Taco Bell at my house. Whatever Ian's about to say. Mm-hmm. And for my first pick, and for my first pick, what I'm going to take is pepperoni sticks. Yeah, dude. It'll be tight. It'll be tight, because I've been on a session with you where we'll both eat like 11.

Yeah. And it's like, oi, oi. Oh, man. What size is a pepperoni stick? Is it just pepperoni or do you do teriyaki or all of them? I'm talking any of those sticks and including Slim Jims. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you consider Slim Jims the top or the bottom of that mountain? Bottom. Bottom for sure. Is it? What's the company? It starts with that mountain? Bottom. Bottom for sure. Is it? What's the company? It starts with an S. They'll sell like packs of like 12 pepperoni sticks.

They're like half a foot long, six inches long. You know what I'm talking about? They sell like specifically pepperoni for pizzas. It's like Oberto. I feel like this company. That one. Oberto. Or Hormel.

You can get a, yeah. Oh, really? I think. I would get like turkey ones. I don't know. I think it's because I was like a big like sodium addict for like a really long time. I just fucking loved it. Yeah, dude.

But I just love pepperoni sticks. Doesn't matter. Garbage. The garbageier, the better. I'll eat them. I'll eat them all. I'll buy the fucking like. I had one of those like Little Mama hot peppers once.

Just any of that shit. How about Jimmy? You into Jimmy Dean products? Or is that too far away? I would eat Jimmy Dean products. It wasn't as much of an issue as the pepperoni sticks were. I still love them. Have you ever tried to go high-level pepperoni sticks?

Like go in Arawan and get a pepperoni cylinder or whatever they call it there? I've done the highs and the lows, dude. I'm that dude doing coke at the fucking like at the white house or like smoking crack in the alley behind it like either way like any drug you're down with you just like pepperoni you could put it on one of those rollers at 7-eleven watch it glisten you'll eat it i'll heat it up yeah absolutely like stretching before a workout for sure for sure it's more about it being cylindrical than it being a specific type of food it's just such a garbage food though it's like barely food i think there's sawdust in some of them like they're so

i didn't slim jims just smell so fragrant to me that i'm like i don't need to taste it i already can so i'm good i love it oh i love it it awakens the macho man inside of me people do people do love it i wouldn't want to eat a a Slim Jim in a room with no windows. I think I'd feel weird doing it. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. I wouldn't want to eat a Slim Jim with your hand down your shirt.

I want that. As you currently are. I wouldn't want to eat a Slim Jim like that. I want that for you. This is the only way to eat a Slim Jim, Kelly. That's how they did it. Oh, God. Oh, yikes.

Oh, yikes. You got to have your hand by your heart. It's like, hmm. Congratulations. It's like, hmm. Congratulations. It's like twirling your chest hair between your fingers. Yeah. On the taco meat. Yeah, absolutely.

Nice. Nice, good, strong. I used to go to the mini mart by the old Fortress of Solitude, the Circle K, and just load up on Slim Jims and then go back and demolish them, stoned out of my mind. Zach had a Slim Jim at my house not two days ago. He's a Slim Jims and then go back and like demolish them. Stoned out of my mind. Zach had a Slim Jim at my house not two days ago. He's a Slim Jim man. Zach is still a Slim Jim guy. Zach is going to keel over from a massive coronary at some point.

Or he's going to live forever. Or he's going to live forever. Doesn't seem to be slowing down at all. Change the prayer to Ballers and Billions, Entourage, and Slim Jim. May the rock be with you. And also with you. We're keeping succession in there. Yeah. I't know i don't know what mike was talking about man i like that i like how i replaced it with slim jim and you noticed the second i did it succession stays in there mike was on some fucking bullshit mike if you're listening to

this one i don't know what the fuck your game was. What? Explain it. He was going in on how Succession is a bad show and you're nerds for liking it. You know, he was being Mike. Oh, yeah. I saw this. He was saying Succession is bad.

I don't get it. Succession is good. It's great. But is it? Yes. Yeah. Okay. I like it. Yeah.

I think I like it, too. It's different than Entourage. It's different than Entourage. Entourage is Yeah. Okay. I like it. Yeah. I think I like it too. It's different than Entourage. It's different than Entourage. Entourage is like, whoa. I think I like it too. I don't know. At some point I'm like, am I watching a show I've already watched before? That's what Succession kind of feels like.

I don't either. You're so deep in the billions verse. No, let's not do that. Let's stay away from billions. I'm deep in that verse. A universally beloved show that is on forever and ever. Fucking right it is. Amen.

Succession. You say that like that's not what we want. Good show. I know. We also agree with that. I don't want to touch it. We like that. I don't want to touch it.

We love that show. Same. Succession's fantastic. They're all great. Everything's great. I think Succession is good. I don't know. Great actors giving amazing performances.

Yeah, I think it is too. I don't want be make it sound like i don't like it i just don't know sometimes i'm like i don't know mike's argument was like you don't like succession you like cousin greg and tom and it's like oh you mean a quarter of the show yeah yeah mike likes shows that you can watch on two tvs at once so yeah that's why it is yeah mike's the two tv-er what does that mean yes he has two tvs gone and he watches two different shows at the same time he plays like a video game or have wrestling on one while he's got another show on the other oh okay that makes perfect sense sometimes though it's two shows at the same like you can watch loose change and zeitgeist at the same time

and open your mind's eye. If you have a third eye, it's easy to do. You guys know some weird people. Sister, these are just the ones I can talk about. Yeah, that's true. I was going to say. That's true. We hadn't even talked about Holler at Your Boy,

who's a dude I knew that used to bring AKs to parties. Yeah, man, we haven't even. The Holler at Your Boy, who's a dude I knew that used to bring AKs to parties. Yeah, man. We haven't even... The weird dudes I know, man, fucking give you fucking nightmares. Fucking weird dudes I know. I know some dudes who aren't... They are outside. Yeah. They're outdoor cats.

Yeah, whatever. They are untethered. They're fucking barn cats, dude. They're eating a mouse in the corner right now. All right. Message received. I'm terrified. Whose pick is it?

It's my pick. It's a serpentine draft and I'm on the hot corner. My second pick, I'm going to take this pick with the caveat that like i extra like i don't think any of these are really guilty pleasures but i don't think this one is i'm going to take nancy meyers rom-coms now what are nancy meyers name a couple yeah that's the holiday i get her confused nora efron it's complicated uh yes i just watched The Holiday like a week ago. The Holiday was fantastic. I love that movie. It's so good. I've never seen The Holiday.

This point was going to come up, but being made to feel like these are guilty is insane to me. These are pleasures. I understand for that, like Katie was saying, for the sake of the draft, for the integrity of this conversation, sure, that is a guilty pleasure, but I will wear that. Something's got to give the parent trap there. So great. I'll put that flag on my truck, you know? You will a guilty pleasure, but I will wear that. Something's got to give the parent trap there.

So great. I'll put that flag on my truck, you know? You will? God damn it, I will. I bet there's a lot of interesting flags on your trucks. On your Nissan Leaf.

On my Nissan. I have a fucking truck. I drive a tank, Katie. On your Chevy Volt. Katie, I bought a Panzer. I bought a Panzer and I drive that around. Nice.

Are Panzers the good ones or are those the Nazi ones? Those are the Nazi ones, but it's okay. No, I didn't buy a Panzer. I didn't buy a Panzer. You deal on it. You said you did. You said you did. If you bought a Panzer,

I have a guess what kind of flag is on it. What? What? I was hoping, I said if you have a Panzer, I have a guess what kind of flag is on it.

Yeah, it's a fucking holiday flag. Let me get that clean again. It's got Jack Black. Run it back, run it back, run it back, run it back. If you have a Panzer, I have a guess what kind of flag is on it it's uh sports what's with katie nolan flag it's a question yeah yeah it is it's fun who was that you were doing ian what was that character kind of it's a jeff foxworthy adjacent but it's more of a tone that's exactly what i thought you were doing and i was like

that can't be can i tell you guys i was so stoned when we were talking the other day because i did a marijuana thing and after i was texting you guys and realizing how crazy those texts were i just sat back and imagined myself having a whole empire of you might be a hotep like that's like i was like that's the beginning of my i said to you i was being attacked by two dogs while trying to answer those and i just got like to the point with that text thread where i was like i have no idea what anyone's talking about i'm gonna just lay this one out it really went it really went far i started sending jew memes it was really sometimes you have a text and you're like oh it's all happening okay I started sending Jew memes. Yeah, you did.

Sometimes you have a text and you're like, oh, it's all happening. Okay. I'm going to look at it later, but I'm just going to bow out for now, I think. There was a lot going on. My opinion is not needed shared on whatever they're talking about. Shout out to the Grow Off, though, who let me perform. Marijuana Awards.

No big deal. They got you really baked and then you performed? That kind of thing? Well deal they got you really baked and then you performed like that kind of thing well i got me really baked and then performed on zoom but uh nancy meyer's rom-coms they're great amazing look amazing settings beautiful kitchens and all those movies great architecture architecture architecture it's the texture of the building it's like stucco is it drywall it's a lot of architecture it's a lot of stucco it's the texture of the building. It's like stucco. Is it drywall? It's a lot of stucco. It's a lot of pristine white drywall. Great architecture in them.

Great, like, fully formed female characters. Oftentimes 40 or older a lot of the time. Would you believe we live that long? Would you believe it? This is how I found that out. Would you believe we are that way out in the wild? White women?

I do believe that. I do believe that. Not something you see reflected a lot in rom-coms in old Hollywood. Well, because it's hard to have rom when you're post-40. It's supposed to just be like, settle, com. It's only com. Yeah, it's just to settle, com. A lot of com.

It's com on the rom. The rom went out of her eyes after 40. But she only calms when she's on top. Exactly. So older ladies getting theirs. Getting the groove back.

I love it because it'll be well written three dimensional older lady characters and then the most one dimensional dude characters you've ever seen in your life. It's so awesome. Which is just a little turnabout. The Keanu Reeves doctor in Something's Gotta Give is just such a, he's just a hot doctor who's Keanu Reeves' age who loves Diane Keaton. And it's fucking great. It's like, let's throw that in there.

I love it when the people who are usually 3d go 2d that's uh wait that's my next pick never mind so okay i was gonna say like purely from my childhood that reminds me of the first time i watched a show on like upn or wb and the white character was an idiot and i was like oh i get it steve har. Steve Harvey's show, his name was Bullethead. He was the best. He was the fucking best. Yes. Because every show is just like, I love basketball. But then you watch their shit and he's like, I don't know.

I'm kind of stupid. I loved it. I loved it. But when you watch like one, I don't know, when you're taught that way and then you're younger and you're like, whoa, wait, why is the white guy dumb? And then you're like, oh, I think that's, we've been doing, I get it now. All right, I'll back out. But yeah, seeing one-dimensional men is like,

oh, isn't that lovely? When you want to know what his job is, but we're not going to tell you just that it requires him to wear a suit and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. He's got a bunch of money. It doesn't matter.

He's rich and he's hot and he's stupid and that's all we care about. He drinks one drink of coffee and kisses her on the cheek and then he's gone and then she's off to her well-textured magazine job that we know a lot about right a lot about i just love i just fucking love those movies they're cozy they feel like home i i can't believe i didn't start getting into them until like this year i love them that's my second pick david time

for your second pick my second pick is one this is a guilty pleasure for sure because i don't do it that much but if somebody's giving it out i will take it all free sausage free come on come on i get my cock enough and i yum don't worry about that girl don't worry about that No Free sausage There's the Tan-staffle There ain't no such thing As free lunch sausage Okay The point is You know what I mean

Tan-staffle What's tan-staffle? There ain't no such thing As a free lunch I don't know What's your pick, David? Sure is Tan-staffle

I don't understand You guys never I don't know what tan-staffle is There ain't no such thing as a free lunch. Is that the person who said it? Is that a person who said it? No, it's the first one. It's the first letter of each of them.

There's no such thing as a... Okay, it doesn't really work. It does work. Because the first letter is TN. There's no... TA. TANSTOFFLE. Why is it TA what's there ain't there ain't okay why is this even what we're talking about

like we should know what the fuck that means i did think it was known i did think it was to move on and then you just kept saying it i can't stop is that an npr radio host is that your pick i'm tan stoffel and this is fresh air welcome to kitchen considered with pan stopper david your pick oh Oh, gossip. Oh! Yeah. Yeah, like, I don't really love doing it, but, like, I will listen. I've spent so many times just, like, listening to shit about people I don't even know just because, like, beefs are fascinating to me. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, I'll just do it with my mom, my brother, anybody. Anybody wants to give it to me, I want. Because it's so weird it's always so weird it brings the it brings the pretty woman out of you every time you hear it right it might be similar enough to one of my picks that i can't make my pick my picks a very specific version of that oh is it shit talking comedians we'll get there no behind no i bet it will get there that's good too but you guys can

tell me and then i can rule it out that happened yeah it's because it is bad it is like not a good thing to be gossip is bad but i fucking love it and everyone does it i think it's inevitable that's why you love when you find a piece of non-harmful but very entertaining gossip where you're like this doesn't hurt anybody and i love it i love it love it, I love it. The further I am away from it, oh my gosh. Tell me about that guy at your job I'm never going to meet, girl. Yes, yes. And I will get embroiled.

I've had that. I'm like, did Jake, again? He tried again? That's that bullshit. That's why he needs to go back to receiving. He's not, he shouldn't even be in your department. Like, I love this. He's way out of his lane.

He's way out of his lane. That's so true. I really love normal relationships. I love talking shit to invisible people who exist in other people's lives. Somebody you're never going to meet. Never going to meet. Never going to meet. Fuck you, Scott.

You think you can just come in here and start running things when you just transferred from fucking Ohio? The way to go over your boss's head, you're going to email me directly? Screw off. Jesus Christ, dude. That's not for you. Screw off. I've also had it go left where I met this girl's boss and I was like, oh, I think maybe you're the unreasonable one. Oh, yeah.

That's never true. I've done that. When you find out, you see the lens through which you've been looking at these stories for so long, and you're like, oh, this is a very dirty glass. I don't think I was... This isn't right.

Let me just... Real quick. Oh, this is a very dirty glass. Oh, you're the dick. You're the thing all these people have in common. But even that's fun, too, because I'm like,

yeah, tell your own story. I'll figure, I'll parse it out. Yeah, whatever. Live your truth. I just want the drama. I don't really care if it's real or not. That's why Real Housewives is worth watching. But let's not name other picks.

The only person I know who doesn't gossip is Gerard Carmichael. I could see that. That dude, I mean, I haven't spent a ton of time around him, but he's just not a crossword to say about any other human being on Earth. I've never met a person who made me feel more hyped up for myself than him. Yeah. I was alone with him for like five minutes once, but he would never remember, and I walked away feeling like I robbed five banks. Mm-hmm.

Like. Rich as hell. Yeah. And cool. Canadian doesn't really have anything bad to say ever. Like, even when I'm throwing Shane under the bus in private and Kyle's still like, ah, come on,

what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah. He's always still a really good, he's great. No, I don't know. He's all right. He's all right.

Man, one of those really makes you feel bad when someone goes, yeah, I don't think he's all that bad. And you're like, I, well, me neither. Right? I just,

I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just,

I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just,

I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just,

I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just,

I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I now. I just want this type of shit. That's the worst. It's like you laid out this big picnic and they're like, I'm not really hungry. I think that's why, not from some strong virtue within me, but I think that is why I've stopped. I have much stronger lines now than I used to. I won't cross most lines.

Oh yeah, or you'll find yourself behind enemy lines. Yes, you never want to do it and have someone be like, excuse me? And you're like, oh, well, part of my personality is hating Scott. So, you know. You know they're going to tell Scott. Yeah. But you kind of hope.

Yeah. You also kind of fucking tell Scott. I wish you would. I hope you do. I hate that bit. He's not getting off Scott free in this situation. Yes. Let's this situation. Yes. Let's move on.

Yes. Getting off David Guilty. That's short. Katie, it's time for your pick. David Guilty. Oh, man. I had the one I wanted to take next. Oh, MTV's The Challenge.

Oh, hell yes. Is that the one with CT? Hell yes. It is a very, very terrible reality show that I could not be more obsessed with. It's one of those shows you get into thinking like, I'm not going to get into this. There's people who are really crazy about the show, but that's not going to be me. I just watch it because I turn my brain off. And then by a couple seasons in, you're like, Kelly, that's what he does, Kellyanne.

Don't listen to him. Like, you know everything about everybody and you know how they play the game. What I think is the most fascinating about it from my years of research is that it's the one reality show that is also a competition but has the same cast essentially every year. So it's not like Big Brother

that like changes and gets all new people, which actually I'm speaking out of pocket because I don't know, I don't watch that show, but I think it at least used to be a new cast every year. I think it is. They make some changes to the challenge, but mostly there's this core group of people and you're like,

which permutation of these people is going to show up to this house? So they show up and you already know their backstories and then you just get to watch things continue. So instead of it being a brand new cast, it's the same old cast but new dynamics so now you've grown with these characters yes and you're like oh he used to be that way but now he's this way some of them are like married and shit now right yeah some of them some of them are

married some of them have died like there have been real lives that have really occurred yeah within this cast of people and like there you have to kind of accept like the guilty part is you have to accept that like you would never be friends with any of these people in your real life ever they're like probably not people that would be your closest friends but you can like see the ones that you would like the most out of this type of person that would go on and do the show so you can have like the ones you root for and then you have the ones that you don't. And it's also really fascinating because a lot of these people need this money. Like they need it.

So the money at the end that you can win, it's like they absolutely need that money to make it to the next time of doing the show because they don't have jobs. It always fascinated me. They would get so fucked up at night and then get up and work out and do these challenges where you're just like, you have to be in peak physical condition. Yeah. But then they would just get obliterated at night. Just hammered. And there have been people who have learned through the show like, oh, I have a drinking problem. And then they've turned their life around and come back and are completely different. Are they sober? Is there sober people

on there? I think so. I don't know if anyone's ever explicitly talking about how they're sober, but you can see people who used to be fall-down drunks that don't really drink as much anymore. Or there's like guys who were crazy womanizers that then have kids and they come and they're like, all right, like there's just there. You get to see more evolution of characters. And I think you see in a lot of other reality shows. And for all of these reasons, that's why I make myself feel better about loving watching MTVtv is the challenge i remember ct he always used to want to beat the shit out of everybody you still want to beat everyone's ass no because dm his girlfriend died it was like the only like they you you saw him in a relationship with dm he changed he was a completely different

person she was the only person who like got him and you could really see it on camera and then she died they broke up and then she died so it was like a lot it went oh he went through a lot and his brother died i think got shot and dm didn't show up to the funeral it was a whole thing but now ct's kind of like this dad energy on the show that's like well who would have thought that he would be like that but he's just like whatever he still loves a little bit of chaos but he doesn't beat everybody up anymore he's a completely, whatever. He still loves a little bit of chaos, but he doesn't beat everybody up anymore. He's a completely different person. Bostonian, what are you going to do? He's got it in him. I don't know what that's supposed to mean.

The fact that they all get fucked up before the shows makes it like what sports used to be like. It's like a glimpse into that. No, it's true. When they were talking bubble stuff, when we weren't going to have sports, I'm like, first of all, I guess this really does mean that the challenge, which I've always said is our fifth major sport is the challenge.

I'm like, I guess it really is our only major sport now. But then when they started talking about the bubble, I'm like, let's just put cameras in the bubble and make sports more like the challenge. This might be awesome. But they'll never agree to it. It just was a good idea in my head just jj reddick getting hammered on wine with cj mccollum every night i'd watch that i would watch that i would do we just want to watch people talk to each other or listen damn thank you for joining

all fantasy everything john jordan time for your second and third picks as it is a serpentine draft second pick i love soap operas i'm gonna going to say Grey's Anatomy. You do love that. I absolutely love Grey's Anatomy. And you do love soap operas. Love it. I love the drama. It's a well-written show, though. Is Grey's Anatomy a guilty pleasure?

I don't know how the lines are drawn. You guys, if it's not, you let me know. I could see it being guilty. I could see it being guilty because it came out so, so, so long ago. Yeah, that's the thing. I just started watching it during quarantine, and I figured it out. 252 episodes I've watched.

God damn. Jesus. It doesn't get repetitive for you after a while? Oh, it does. It does, and I love it. I love the repetition. That's where the comfort comes in, right? That's true.

Yeah, I got a pick like that. They all fuck each other. I was just at a hospital. That's not what I thought. They do. They do. They all fuck. I was just at a hospital. They do. They do. They all fuck. I was just at a hospital. Everything's fine, but I spent some time at a hospital recently, and just watching the

dynamic, I was like, I can't imagine if someone came in this room and had a conversation with another doctor about fucking each other right in front of me, because that's what they do on Grey's Anatomy. All the time. Constantly. It goes down in front of the patients? Yeah, they'll be like, oh, this guy's got a GSW to the chest. And she's like, you know,

I wish you would look me in the eye when you say that. Is this because of last night? And you're just like, oh, the gunshot wound to the chest. Get the gun out of it. Take out the bullet. Deal with this later. And the guys, the people are just laying there.

The patients are like, they don't seem to care. And like the chief of surgery is always like fucking the brand new intern. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Neva, would that be something you could do? It's Neva. It's a fun world to go live in for 252 hours during quarantine so far.

And counting, by the way. I ain't stopping. And then there's always that like teenage, like the young patient that they have this discussion in front of and then you cut to that young patient she's like you know steve's telling you the truth and i think that you should listen to him why are you hesitating and you're like you're 16 all right you don't know anything about steve you don't know anything about what happened last night but there's always this wise young teenager who's like feels like you're rejecting love and not letting it in yeah then the music goes like do do, do, do.

I would never say that to a doctor. I don't say shit to a doctor, except thank you. No, I'd be like, lady, I can hear you talking about having sex with that other doctor. Can you not do this right now? I got my dick ripped off. Do, do, do. Oh, Clive Davis sent me to the ER with a dick ripping.

I just hit the Ivy with Clive Davis, and I got that, you need to put this dick back on, all right? Yeah. Before you figure out what to do with this guy's dick. How about you give me an option to ever use mine again? Why don't you put that on ice and put my dick back on me? Yes. All right?

Buy it a dollar. Grey's Anatomy. Great pick. I just think it could be considered guilty. For sure. And then my third pick, I'm going to say Shia LaBeouf. I love Shia LaBeouf. I think he's awesome. I think he's hilarious. And I I love Shia LaBeouf. I think he's awesome.

I think he's hilarious. And I've always thought he was a great actor. I think he's had a renaissance. Ladies love LaBeouf. Yeah, I think it's cool to like Shia LaBeouf now. If this was five years ago, I don't think it would be cool. But I think the beef is simmered at this point. The Shia LaBeouf is cooked?

LaBeouf is simmered. Yeah, the beef is cooked dude all right uh different pick then yeah i think so it's only all right i'm sorry that's it doesn't sound like it by your inflection we love shia labuff too i mean he got super high during the reenactment of whatever that was that they're reenacting recently what they did like a table read of something yeah spicoli table read of fast He was Spicoli and it was awesome. And he just got super high and like didn't pay attention. And it was in his truck and it was so funny.

It was great. But so uncomfortable. Tell you where he wasn't funny, that movie that he got Creeper tattooed on his stomach for. No. What was that? He was supposed to be. It's so bad, dog.

What movie? I don't even know what it's called. Dumb Kings or some shit. Dumb Kings? It was terrible. It was like really, dog. What movie? I don't even know what it's called. Dumb Kings or some shit? Dumb Kings? It was terrible. It was like really, really bad. Did you watch Peanut Butter Falcon? That was good.

Yeah, that was great. I loved it. So good. There's a movie about Cage he was supposed to make, the rapper, and he was going to play Cage, and it never came out. I want it to so bad. Is that the rapper that has the... No.

I think that's Necro. No, you're thinking about Stitches. You think it's Stitches? As I was about to say, is that the guy who has... I think I figured out who that is. I think that's Necro. No, you're thinking about Stitches. You think it's Stitches? As I was about to say, is that the guy who has... I think I figured out who that is. I think I get it. It's the word I'm about to say.

So forget it. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Sean, your third pick? My third pick is Michael Jackson. Yeah, I've thought about it. Oh, yeah, that's great. Wait. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. I was talking about... i thought he did pick three yeah of course yeah yeah i mean it's it's it's tough because there's no i can't lie to myself it's perfect music perfect so it's tough because you can't and i do i like i change it on the radio in my leaf i'll change him i mean my panzer whatever when the when the when he comes on the radio i'll just change it right you know I'll leave the Gelsons

yeah I do now really yeah I just feel like bad I feel bad if I don't for some reason but I still love it well you're a sweet guy

is part of it I try sweet man anyway yeah Michael Jackson we don't need to dive in I think I think everyone's already been in the pool

he's dead he is dead he is a thing he couldn't be more cancelled no David doesn't think he's dead so this is dead. He is dead. Is the thing? He couldn't be more canceled. No. David doesn't think he's dead, so this is going to be a whole conversation. David thinks he's dead.

No, I think he's dead. What? I was kidding. Oh. Do you think Stevie Wonder's blind? Because if you don't, I have some people you should meet because we meet on Tuesdays.

Yeah, talk to Nick Harris about it. He doesn't think he's blind either. It's insane. I don't know. There's just... There's a lot of things he pulls off that seem difficult for blind people is all I'm saying.

Like catching a microphone stand that's been knocked down by somebody that walked past you before it hits the ground. Or cheating on his wife. Well, that's less. I think that's less. Okay, sure. I mean, if you're blind, you could just say, I thought it was you. So, you know, what do you... I don't know if that's how it works in the blind community i don't know how anything

works in the blind community you know what you should watch is deaf you it's completely different it's about the deaf community but it's on netflix and it's fascinating to find out they are buck wild in the deaf community fucking they are they are they just go for it they like to fuck they go for it and they say it and you're like are you we can hear you you're saying some stuff that's not cool they just do it you might not like women yeah it's uh oh the like one of the first episodes ends with like did you get me pregnant on purpose and you're like yeah what's up yo they are man they're going hammer you know what i liked is when you know what i even there's so much shit on that show where you're like oh i never even thought about that where she's like if we're cuddling we can't talk to each other while

we're cuddling we have to stop and talk and look at each other and then go back and then there was like slang ways to talk with sign language that there's like this is the right way and then there's the people who just do it the slang way and we really need to preserve our language. Yeah, he's like, I'm from the wrong side of the tracks. It's crazy.

How that like deaf people get mad at people who aren't deaf enough. Fascinating. Really? Like if there are people who can use the cochlear implants, like a full deaf person will be mad at like them.

Not always, but this is just like within, it it's just fascinating why is it because they're front i think um this wasn't anyone's pick i just wanted to bring it up michael jackson yeah michael jackson talking to it michael yeah yeah michael michael i liked our detour instead third Third pick. We're going to show them on to Katie's pick. Katie, your third pick. It's me again already. Yeah. See you again. Okay. So I picked delivering food to my house.

I picked the MTV's The Challenge. So next I'm going to pick Lifetime slash Hallmark movies. Love them. They make you feel cozy. They are so bad they are so bad in a way that feels so good

they are so poorly I truly think in order to understand what makes a good movie you have to watch movies like this because that's how you learn like oh that's why you do the dialogue between the husband and the wife not because the husband and the wife must talk to each other but because you have to

set something up for later it's like they just don't do any of that they're just like when the husband's gonna walk in and then she's gonna get a phone call and you're like oh well she would have to be alone or that phone call wouldn't make sense and it's like okay we'll just have the husband leave then and it's like but where is he going there's no reason for him leaving so a man is in a room he leaves she gets a phone call she hangs up the man comes back in and says how's everything going in here instead of why did you leave you had no reason you left so i could get a phone call it's just nothing compelled you it's fascinating watch. And it's also kind of similar to what you were talking about before, Ian, is like it's a heroine version of the movies you were describing. Because it's like it's not just that the men are one dimensional.

It's that every woman's story is worth telling. It's like the message they're sending. So it's like if in another movie this woman would be a sub character she is the star of this film and you will listen to every mundane thing or thought she has and the plots are so bad and i think that they're probably if i were to examine it very detrimental to women's perception of themselves but I also just find them so fascinating and anthropological. I have to watch them all. The plots are insane.

I've never seen a single one. What is it like in a scene? Oh my God. So Hallmark is different. Hallmark is more, what we've decided in this house is that the Hallmark universe takes place in Utah.

I think it's like Provo. All the movies are in like Provo, Utah. Yeah, that's fair. But the Lifetime movies are like, porn is bad, your husband's a liar, that pretty woman- Wait, these are the names?

No, like these are the tropes, the concepts. Oh, yeah. Or like the babysitter's screwing your husband and or poisoning your kid. It's like all of these, everything involves murder. or like the babysitters screwing your husband and or poisoning your kid. It's like all of these, everything involves murder. And what I think is insane is that obviously lifetime actors and actresses are not our best, but we are asking them to act

the most difficult situations in every film. There's never a movie that's just like, these two women are friends and they grow old together. And it's like, no, no, this one's husband, wait for it, sleeps with this one's husband. It's a gay thing. And then there's a murder. And you're like, they can't act like this. They can't. They're a little league team. You're asking them to play against the pros. It's not fair. But it's beautiful to watch. And I love it so much. I just picture like Minka Kelly sitting in the bathroom like,

all right, your character Josh Duhamel cheated on you and then he killed your sister because they need to work. Minka Kelly, Josh Duhamel, that's who's making these Lifetime movies and it's fantastic. I wish. I'm right there with you. No, I wish. You don't think so?

It's much lower than them. Really? It's a lot of Canadian actors and actresses. Whoa, whoa, whoa. They shoot a lot of it in Canada. I don't think that that means anything about less talent. No, no, I'm just saying it's not people you know. It's names that you're like, oh, that girl's an Instagram influencer.

I just think that Canadians can do anything as good as Americans can do. And if I was unclear, Mars, I apologize. I love Canadians. I love their work. I know that I think it's Toronto is where a lot of people film stuff because it's cheaper or something. Toronto and Vancouver. Either way, my point was only that these are not actors and actresses that you've heard

of unless you love this type of woman on Instagram. Is there, Marissa, is there a Canadian version of like a Lifetime movie? Or do they air them in Canada? I think we get a lot of the Hallmark ones. I'm sure we do have some Canadian ones, but we mostly see them as Hallmark. They're so good, guys. They're so good. They don't make any sense.

Are they a lot of Boxing Day movies? Oh, good question. Oh, somebody left a Tim Hortons on the top of the car there. It's going to be a problem. I would love to watch a Boxing Day movie. We watched a Lifetime movie or maybe a Hallmark movie about a mommy blogger who was single and got into it with a commenter on her blog who come to find out was a guy that in real life she was totally falling for.

But like over the course of the film, they went on like a date and it was like this. You didn't convince me you had enough chem. It was so stupid. They made you've got hate mail. for but like over the course of the film they went on like a date and it was like this you didn't convince me you had enough chem it was so stupid they made you've got hate mail it just lacks any type of edge it's like everything has been smoothed for you so you can just watch it and be like you know what cool now what with my night you don't have to you don't bump up against anything perfect excellent david time for your third pick i thought that was great my third pick oh man staying up late we i just i know i shouldn't do it man that's a great point even before even before i'll have shit to do and i'll

still like i'll have i'll be like okay i have shit to do. That's important. I got it. Nothing crazy, but like, let's say I gotta be up at eight out of the house at nine. I'll still find myself staying up till five in the morning. Yeah. And just like, I'll catch up on the backend. And I do. It's just like something about pulling it off is like weird to me. What do you do? Nothing, dude.

Video games. Nothing. I play video games. what do you do nothing dude video games nothing i play video games read stuff on the internet yeah not even after a certain point not even that i'm just like laying there video games is the only thing that can get me to do it anymore outside of that i'm like put me to bed at fucking nine i'm ready to go i wish i'm jealous of that i wish i could do that me too me too i wish i could do that. Me too. Me too. I wish I could do it. I like, I'll push it.

Even if we're hanging out, I'll like, man, if you guys want to hang out till six in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it doesn't,

doesn't even matter what I have to do. It's like really, it's real wild, but yeah, I just like, I just like smoking it to the filter. Hmm. While smoking it to the filter.

I like that about you. Thank you. Yeah. Are you watching movies during it at least? Or like something like that? No, because a movie, it'd have to be a show. A movie would go too long. You need this thing to remind you to keep.

And it's like, it's like you get, I'll get to a point where I'm like, okay, everything's gotta, I gotta like start shutting it down. But then I'll just be like, just laying there looking at the time every now and again i'll play games on my phone that i don't even care about that i'm like this will just keep me awake and i'm like for what i don't know i just want to be awake you're not even you're playing it but not really not really no i'll do like listening to a podcast but not really yeah yeah i do that yeah i'll go floss and then i'll be like all right i'll brush my teeth in like an hour.

Instead of just going in and doing it all, I'll just go floss and then I'll sit back on the couch and be like, oh, I'll get to the teeth in a bit. All right, we get it. You floss. Really happy. Really glad you got that in there. You should get those little sticks. That's what I got. Yeah, I do.

But then you know what always happens? It's happened twice. And I'm like, that's enough times for me to say always happened. The bag opens in my backpack and then it's all over the bottom of my backpack and then i'm like i can't use these now because they're dirty especially with the backpack you were singing my song man it's like goddamn i wasted an entire bag of flosses yeah now they're all gone now they're all dirty and covered in gum because there's somehow gum in the bottom of my backpack maybe the two of you should take a little more time and care

with the factory-supplied seal they give you. Those zips don't zip, dude. I don't care what you say. You've got to push them into each other. They're too much. You have an insufficient pinch grip, and that's the thing you need to come to terms with. Okay, well, I've tried to practice it.

You think I don't do this a lot? You can't pinch. I do this all the time. Okay, okay, I can't pinch. I can't pinch. I'm not practicing. I'm not practicing. I'm not practicing my pinch grip. Now what?

You have a whole bag of instruments. Unless you're doing it with just this. Unless you're doing it with just this, I don't want to hear it. A whole bag of instruments. What are you doing? Staying up late was the pick, David. It's time for my third pick. And with my third pick, I'm going to go to something we don't have to talk a lot about,

but something I do have to get on the board. Sublime, the band Sublime. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I think that's great. I fucking love them. I love that one song they have 15 times. It's a good one. Oh, you know.

Come on. Demonstrating a Luddites grasp of the Sublime's catalog. I know I'm incubus over Sublime. I know I'm the enemy. And you have the nerve to belime. I know I'm the enemy. And you're, you have the nerve to be arrogant. No, I get it.

I look, we are all, we all need to share in our shame and know that even the one we like sucks, but it's good to us. I think this is a New York, LA thing where like, somebody said it was an Indica sativa thing.

Well, no, no, no, no. Here's what I mean by an LA, New York thing. Like people in new york criticize

la all the time and talk shit about it and people in la just don't care about new york yeah whereas like as a sublime fan i also celebrate the music of incubus great i couldn't i would be i'd be a hypocrite to talk shit about it of course yeah i do love sublime they're fucking they fucking rip they're the self-titled album, full of hits. We've all heard them. We've talked about it so much on this podcast. I don't need to go into it more. But the 40 Hours to Freedom fucking hits all over the place.

Yeah, man. Bad Fish. I used to go into a pool hall called the Nickel Spot. And I would play Bad Fish like 15 times. And then maybe Holy Diver. And these pool hall dudes would get so bummed on it. But it's like, I don't want to hear bad fish while I'm playing pool all night.

It was the best. I love 40 ounces of freedom. And Incubus. And Incubus. I do like Incubus. I was listening to Drive no more than 12 hours ago in my hole. I mean, they're great.

I went to a concert where Incubus opened for Pantera, opened for Black Sabbath. That was a weird concert. That sounds good. Mine's worse in a good way. I did Jimmy World Opens Up for Incubus. I would love that concert. It was so great.

It was outside. It was so good. It fucking ruled. And what's his face? Brandon can still sing. It was really great. Did they play The Sweetness? Yes.

Yeah, yeah. They played all the hits. Those are two bands you forget. You're like, oh, that's yes. Yeah. Yeah. They played all the hits. It's those are two bands you forget. You're like, Oh, that's right. They have this song. They have fucking hits.

That would be a great concert. Yeah. Incubus is great. I love Incubus. So sublime. It's a basic pick. I had to get it in there or I'd be lying. My next pick is going to be a little bit more.

And now this is just for me. This is a, this is a guilty pleasure just for me. I don't expect anyone else to get in on it. Masturbating. Masturbating. I love it one hand two hands no hands sign me up two hands you'll two hand it um reply guys wait what on twitter yes yes reply guys similar i don't mind reply guys like like i'll post a joke and a bunch of people will try to outdo the joke or like or whatever or like then here's the thing i don't think they're trying

to outdo the joke my my armchair diagnosis of reply guys and this is again is from somebody who's a dude on twitter and not as a woman uh like i think they just see someone being funny and they kind of want to get in on it and because i i see so many like instances of people complaining about reply guys and i'm like this is just someone yes-handing a joke and not like trying to one-up it and i totally get why it's annoying but it personally doesn't annoy me i kind of like it i'm just like look at us all goofing around can we get one time a definitive definition of reply guys? Because I feel like there's a whole bunch of different understandings of what it means. I think there are.

Yeah, I think there are. Because I think a lot of people think reply guys are like the white knights in a woman's mentions that yell at the simps. There's like a lot of stuff going on on Twitter that I'm like, I don't really understand what you guys are all talking about. I know. To me, those are all symptoms about. I know. That's those. To me, those are all symptoms of spending too much time on Twitter. If we're starting to break down people who reply to tweets into different types of people, it's like, I don't know. I think.

But I've started getting like I think I might be, by the traditional definition, a reply guy. Because my favorite thing to do on the Internet is to see someone funny, make a joke and then try to like make that joke with them again. And I just want to riff with them. I love doing that. Or like making a joke off something someone else said. And people have started to reply to me. I hope she sees this, Katie. And I'm like, wait, am I a reply guy?

I just thought that's what we're supposed to do here. Isn't that the one redeeming part of it is just joking around with people? Aren't we supposed to joke about stuff? That's what I thought too. Not over there, man. Not over there. Where? In here. Right in your heart.

One hand, two hands, no hands. No hands, whatever you got. I'm joking in here all the time. I just enjoy it. It makes me, I'm like, oh, you think I'm funny and you're trying to goof around with me. I never read it as someone trying to outdo my jokes. It just never appears to me as that. Do you ever get, though, the people who just explain your joke

and you're like, yep, that's what I said there. Fulcrum. You mean because how like a fulcrum sounds like? Fulcrum. Because it's fun to say, you see. Nobody said it and I wanted to say it because it's fun to say. Fulcrum. You mean because how like a fulcrum sounds like cum? Fulcrum. Because it's fun to say, you see. Nobody said it and I wanted to say it because it's fun to say. Fulcrum. Like I said something about what was, somebody was played, was it John Wall played cards

during an interview recently? Yeah. Hilarious. And that came the day after the story about Tubin and what he did on a video chat. And so I tweeted like, is john wall plays cards during interview over zoom a euphemism or can i click the link and people were like it doesn't say tube and so i think you should be safe and i was like jesus christ that's uh that is it that is the quite unspoken part of the joke that makes the joke funny so but all right you know what i don't like it i think

sometimes sometimes i think of riffing is very much a sport so it's like yeah you have to be you have to have like if we were hanging out together and you would say that hell yeah because you have the nuts you have to have the whatever to be like oh yeah also i'm in this i'm doing it but like on the internet it's a bunch of people who would have never said anything. So it's like, oh, man. It's a bunch of I could make that kick. Yeah, but you couldn't. People watching college football.

It's like, no, no, you're just saying you could riff with me, but you can't. So don't. I totally understand what you're saying. I don't perceive it as that. I'm like, oh, my God, I get to talk to my favorite comedian online and i'm joking around with them that's what i think you're not talking about so you're not talking about reply guy you're talking about doing it with your friends no no reply guy like people are like that that's what they think yeah that's what they get you yeah i get you i get you so you're saying you're their favorite comedian i'm their favorite comedian is what i

wanted to slip in there af email kuie mel kuiper a.f.e mel kuiper is my favorite comedian i have nothing to say we love you uh david boring time for your fourth pick uh so i don't know what the word is what the title is for this but it's like uh pseudocide pseudocide predicting the future. You know what I mean? Like, let's say you get an opportunity or something like that, and then you just play it out all the way to the end in your head. I do that all the time. Does that make sense?

Or I'll see somebody on the street, and we'll, like, make a joke together, and then in my head, we became best friends. And then for the rest of the day, I'm just thinking about how great of a relationship i have with my new friend bus stop person dilute is that a guilty pleasure i don't know if it's guilty it's not good to do a lot i do it like a lot of times it's like it's like daydreaming where do we end up david me and you where are we in in 30 years what are we doing me and you yeah like the same exact thing yeah Yes. That's what I want. That's not when I do it. That's what? Sorry. Or I can pick Empire.

Somebody offers you a job. Oh, okay. I'll put Daydreaming down. That's a fun one. We could also do Empire, man. Do you have another pick? Yeah, you do. We'll do a lightning round but you do have i got some more stuff on that yeah daydreaming so you just play out long complex scenarios with

people somebody offers you a job and you're like if i take this then one day i could go do this and then i'm off doing that well that but with that it kind of goes for the negative thing that's where i think it's a guilty pleasure because a lot of times it'll do it to like keep myself from acting or to like inhibit myself. And that's where it becomes like an issue. You know what I mean? You start playing out the string. Yeah. Like instead of taking that opportunity or talking to that person who wants to talk to you or whatever, you play out the whole thing and it's a loss.

So you don't even do it. Even though you've made decisions for people that may not be the decisions that they make in real life or even the decisions that they would make because it's not them it's some warped view of them that i have which is really just based probably in my insecurities do you have fights with yourself in the shower constantly no not just in the shower i'm like constantly fighting with myself but like do you have out fights with someone you know you can't fight out loud yeah or so a fight that i should have had yeah yeah yeah that's full-blown arguments after the heck or or like or like or like pre a pre-fight and then when the actual fight comes up they did something like an angle that you didn't say and you're like well no i'm gonna punch you in the face still man you i don't know if this is a men thing.

Dan had a bit about this in his stand-up special and I was like, that's very funny, but I don't think you genuinely do that. Come to find out, it's like a real thing. Fighting people in your brain? People really do. No, but like fighting, like going through the words you would say

to somebody from like 10 years ago about something, but you just want to get the words you would say yeah to somebody from like 10 years ago about some but you just want to get the words out i don't i don't think i think i think them but i don't do it out every time i go back home i there's people i fantasize about like seeing and being like fuck this what is this how it's gonna go bro never goes that way by the way exactly this is how it's gonna go bro it never goes this is this is but in the problem is my fantasies are far more dramatic than it ever goes i'm like in my head i'm like man i'm gonna have to if i see jake i'm gonna have to hit him with my car man or i could pick empire yeah or i could go back so i guess i gotta bring a go bag keep that by the door exactly that's it

if this show goes wrong tonight I'm gonna have to I gotta start doing stand up in North Korea two gallons of fresh water and a handgun that's all I need live on the land first and then you know also if you guys should get

one of these it's great to just I might get one he's squeezing a small rubber donut for the video audio medium for grip katie time for your fourth pick and i have one more after this right yeah we'll do a lightning round okay um i'm gonna pick oof this is a very personal very guilty pleasure uh scrolling the subreddits of people you don't like. Oh, no. I can't even open that up for myself.

I don't want that. I know. This is me admitting my own weaknesses. Sometimes, this is what I was saying was very similar to gossip. It's like, I don't want to engage in it. I just want to know what people who hate this thing are saying about this thing. I just want to know what people who hate this thing are saying about this thing. I just want to refill my arsenal.

I'm a little low on bullets. I'm going to go stock up by seeing what the biggest fans of this thing say about it when they think only fans are around. I'm just going to go read up on that. What are some examples of subreddits? I'm not going to give any examples, but there are podcasts. There are podcasts. There are media companies.

There are plenty of subreddits where you can, because the fascinating thing about Reddit and the reason I think it works, but the reason I think you can exploit it, is that this is supposed to be the community for all the people who love this thing. So when you criticize the thing, it's like we're in a safe space, but it's not a safe space. Anybody can see it. So you just get people who are honestly like, look, I love this website, and I'll defend it to the death if anyone says anything mean about it. But while we're talking about it, I hate this. Barstool.

And then me, I'm like, ha, so they don't like that. So they're going to get really loud over here, but they don't like this. It's just like an insight into psychology that I find fascinating, but I know is an evil. I'm feeding something evil in me that I like to read it. But it also gives me perspective when I see somebody say something mean about me on the internet, it makes me feel better to be like,

look, it's not just you, it's happening all over the internet. People always have something mean to say about someone else and there's a little bit of comfort in that. This is, I'm revealing too much about myself. And perspective in general because it's like sometimes people present

such a united front about something that seems terrible or seems like you're like, you all can't like this thing this much. You can't all really think it's perfect. But they present a united front on Twitter or something. Yeah, like we do not take any, which is great. It's what you want in a fan base. I'm like, we don't do this.

No, no, you step away. But then when they think they're alone, they're like, okay, but I hate this thing this thing that's great that's a great pick i oh i'm afraid i'm gonna start doing that i know i'm sorry i said it out loud i almost want to pick empire i'm also willing to pick empire i've never seen it i can't start doing that because i would get lost in that sauce immediately oh yeah i had to pull Dan out of it a little. Yeah. As soon as you said it, because I don't even, I was like, oh, I could.

Yeah, man. There is a good example that I won't say, but I could text you. But after this is over, can you say it? And you probably know the guy, David, because you have a geographical connection. We will discuss later. Is it Malloy? Is it John Elway? It's Malloy, isn't it? Because he lives down the later. Is it Malloy? Is it John Elway? It's Malloy, isn't it? Because he lives down the street from me.

Yes, his subreddit is brutal. I bet Elway's is, dude. He's kind of known to be a dick about town. Not like in a sexy way. I doubt he has a subreddit. That's the other thing that feels douchey about this pic. It's like, oh, you have beef with people who have subreddits dedicated to them? And I'm like, yeah,

kind of. Some of them. R.L. way. If you just have like a band you like that is like a, it bothers you, but not enough to do anything about it. Like, I'll never tweet like, oh, screw this band and all their fans, but just like go read what they're saying about it. It makes you feel a little bit better.

Anyway, that's my pick. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it do it sean time for your fourth pick and then your final pick uh my fourth pick is hospital food i love hospital food oh wow that is whoa i was not ready for that at all i love hospital food i always have yeah when i was a kid when i was a kid uh hospital food used to be cheaper so we would go for like, hospital food used to be cheaper. So we would go for like a treat. It used to be cheaper than like going out to eat. Now it's mad expensive.

So my mom would take me to the hospital where nobody was there. Like we didn't know anybody in the hospital. We'd go to the cafeteria and eat. And I've always loved it. So whenever it's on my mind. But whenever I have to go to the hospital, I get stoked because I get to go eat hospital food. Which traditionally isn't that great. What is it?

Anything. There was a meatloaf sandwich the other day. All of it. Did you like cafeteria food in school? Yeah, but I didn't know it yet. That was just kind of by necessity. Now I'm doing it with free choice. I could choose to go somewhere before the hospital and eat, but I eat at the hospital.

It is the most expensive restaurant. Dog. It's bananas now now it used to be cheap but but they let you sleep there yeah they do you'll get at the hospital you'll get those like american classics that you don't really see at restaurants like a meatloaf sandwich chicken tetrazzini yeah where do you get mad at like any restaurants it's like the whole vibe i don't know what it is i just the whole thing is a big stew that I love and the food is the cherry on top of the stew that I get. I guess you love the hospital. Love the hospital. I could

I could that could be a weird guilty pleasure. I could open it up and just say the hospital, but that's crazy. It's a hospital food. I get what you're saying though. I like hospital food. Different strokes, man. Yeah, I can't stand. I immediately feel sick the second i'm inside of a hospital i know i'm yeah i figured it'd be a good one uh so yeah that's number four

cool number five uh i'm picking country music as of late i love country music and it's not really something i could shy away from thus like anymore i kind of have to be like yeah i enjoy it like modern country you listen to it huh not i like like uh i don't know lady antebellum i like lady they change their name to lady that's modern i think it's lady a lady a yeah oh they did change yeah there's a song called whiskey glasses some dude i forget his name but i love that song there's like some modern country music that i love really that doesn't seem that crazy to me that you that seems like a pure alley. It happens enough to where I'll put on Tupac or something and be like, all right, dude, figure it out. Get back to you.

But then I get to the skate park and it's blaring country music. You is whatever you want it to be, baby. That's true. That's right. So, yeah. That's what you like. That's what you like. There we go.

Tight, dude. Country music. Are you going to start dressing like that? I know it's a speed round. No, Yeah. Tight, dude. Country music. Yeah. Country. Are you going to start dressing like that? I know it's a speed round. No, no. I'm not. Yeah, but you probably would have said, no, no, I'm not about country music 10 years ago.

I don't know if I would have because it was, I don't want to say other picks, but I've always had, I front like it's just like hard rap that I like, but it's always been. I don't think country fans say they front. I'm going to buy you a belt buckle, buckle dude i'm getting you a bolo tie if elizabeth colorado is any indication the venn diagram of people who enjoy country and rap music is a lot bigger than you'd think yeah all right i wouldn't say elizabeth colorado for for that specific rubric that's why that thing a very specific neighborhood exists. I don't know. Rap is like pop music. There's like a lot of people listening to that, man. It depends. Yeah.

I mean, doesn't Drake have a song called Popstar right now? Anyway, yeah. Country music. Katie, time for your final pick. Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. Love it. Oh, fuck yeah. It's just a perfect pop song with a perfect bridge. And I, for whatever reason, I know she's probably a lovely person

Something about her rubs me the wrong way Can't really stand most of her other music But I love that song so much It's so good But I will turn it down if someone's looking at me And I think it's because they can hear it I will just turn it down a little bit It's a perfect pop song

It's really good California Girls is fun too Just this one That's the thing And that's just me personally perfect pop song it's really good california girls is fun too no just this one dark horse just this one no no see i don't like that's the thing and that's just me personally i think dark horse or whatever song that is her singing ruins what could potentially be a good song i just don't want to listen to it at her song yeah it's i don't need the melody of that song but teenage dream i'm like this is perfect lightning round david time for your final pick empire nice sick

i genuinely love it i get the characters excite me and sadden me the intrigue it's bad but i love it i terrence howard's crazy ass rashir gray man i just love that show. Everything about it is pretty gaudy, but, you know, it's like my Dallas. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's your WWE. Your My Grey's Anatomy. It's My Grey's Anatomy. My final pick is hype videos

for 15-year-old basketball players. Oh, God. Dog, I need to unfollow overtime. I need to unfollow overtime. i know exactly what you're talking about why do i know everything about mikey right what's that what i've known about seventh woods since he was 10 years old what the fuck is going on i'm just a damn this 14 year old's dunking on other 14 year olds i always love those videos because like it's the other athletes haven't been filtered out enough to where it like looks like a bunch of basketball players.

So it'll just be this dude. You're like, he's going to be in the NBA. And right next to him is a big fat Simone kid in a t-shirt. There's some, some kid who's clearly just playing for the self esteem. Who doesn't want a million people to have seen this video. Who just would love to be excluded from the narrative entirely crumbs i just got dunked on by fucking zion williamson

and we're 12 yeah i'm not even gonna play basketball it's formative it's not fair that's awesome i love that shit i can't get enough of it so that wraps up our draft that's the that's the entire draft uh sean you went first you took jaeger bombs gray's anatomy michael jackson hospital food and country music tell a story there tell the story katie you went second you took getting fast food delivered to your house mtv's the challenge lifetime and hallmark movies scrolling the subreddits of people you don't like and teenage dream by katie perry david you went 30, took pimple popper videos, gossip, staying up late, daydreaming and empire. I went last and I took pepperoni sticks, Nancy Meyers, rom-com, sublime reply guys, and watching the hype videos for 15 year old basketball players. Yeah, we left a lot on the board.

Oh, yeah. I didn't leave. I'm not guilty about too much of this stuff. That was hard for me to find things that I feel guilty about. I got plenty. The brown bread that comes in a can. Oh yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? On the other side of the spectrum, foie

gras. Oh, that's true. See, I've never had that. But I have had that brown bread that comes out of a can with a little butter melted on top of it. So good. I've never had it either. John Mayer also. He was on my john mayer i've been to a lot of john mayer shows but now i'm like oh i don't know i like john mayer i think he's great ballers fillet of fish yeah candy corn there was something oh uh roland emmerich movies

all those like adventure uh day after tomorrow all those like disaster movies. And you guys might not know this, but Amazon Prime has a bunch of movies available for streaming that are just like those real disaster movies meet Sharknado. And so there's like insane like fire twister, but they don't have the budget to make that kind of movie. And if you were to be a person who were to smoke weed, you could try to do that and watch one of those. It might be very fun for you. Thanks, I'm going to do that kind of movie. And if you were to be a person who were to smoke weed, you could try to do that and watch one of those. It might be very fun for you.

Thanks, I'm going to do that. I'm one of those people. He doesn't work on me anymore, unfortunately. You've outgrown it, I guess. It's because you're happy. I don't know if that's true. It started before I was. Your mood has been stabilized, officially.

Football, judging other people. Oh, yeah. The Yankees. Are you a Yankees fan? I grew up a Yankee fan, yeah. Oh, that's right. I knew that because of New York. Why didn't I know that?

Because he went to New York. He's from New York. My dad's from Brooklyn. We used to go back to New York every summer. We would go to Yankee games. Don Mattingly. They weren't winning when I liked them. Clapping back at people on Twitter,

that's a guilty pleasure. Oh, yeah, that's great. You shouldn't do it, but when you do, it feels good. Marissa, do you have one? Yes, it is cleaning my ears with Q-tips. Oh. Yeah. Yep.

Yeah. Feels so good. It feels so good. Right after the shower when it's all, everything's all loose up in there. Yeah, exactly. Oof. David listened to Sepultura and headbangs in the shower, so it's all everything's all loose up in there exactly david listened to sepaltor and headbangs in the shower so it's all yeah yeah we want to hear yours hit us up with your picks at all fantasy pod on twitter all fantasy podcast at gmail.com shout out to everyone on the afe subreddit shout out to everyone holding us down on the all fantasy

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