All Fantasy Everything - Horses (w/ Serra Naiman)

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

[loud neighing]Guest:Serra Naiman (@serra.naiman)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. The episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast of Fantasy Drafts, anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we're drafting horses. Our guest today is a returning champion in absolute tonight. Sarah Naiman. Hi. Hello.

It's so great to have you back here. So happy to be here. I'm your host to you and Carmel with me as always are my friends of comedian, Sean Jordan and David Borey. We were talking about Kratom. Kratum. Kratom. And none of you have ever tried Credo? Never tried Craton.

I have. I've had Delta 8. Isaac, come here. What's Delta A? I wouldn't have a mic over there. I here was the closest to like salvia. Is that what it's like? No.

No, it's not. Salvia like that thing used to smoke and just get like blasted for 15 minutes. Yeah, or something like outer space. I've had my worst drug experiences were salvia. Yeah, man. I remember my salvia. So many numbers you would have a salvia vape once? No.

That sounds crazy. Those are the worst drug guys are the guys who make stuff vapable that's not supposed to be vapable? Yeah. I met a guy with the meth vape and it was like, man, this is a technology you only got to from doing meth. Yeah. That should have ever existed past the age of diesel. That's where the technology involved in meth should have ended. What's cratham do to you?

It's really hard to explain. Would you like to try something? No. I think you can learn by doing it. I have a little like box that I opened with a bunch of things. It's like it kind of. feels like, okay, so the drink that I was drinking for a while, don't ever fucking

try this drink. It was called New Brew and it's like Kratum and Kava and a little bit of green tea. So you would like get super focused but also very calm and you would just get a ton of shit done. Wait, this sounds awesome. I know, but then after six months

when you don't drink it, you fall asleep standing up and like your skin gets itchy. It's crazy. There's a Kava place by my house. Kava culture, yeah. I've been there. Oh, I thought they closed all those down because they were illegal.

No, there's one right. Oh, no, it's still active. People know I live in that Water Village. It's like right there in Atwater Village. Okay. And you haven't done it? I've never done it. Probably don't need to.

Wait, Kava's a thing. I don't, that's what? That's the framed at the framing shop next to it. I thought it was called Kava. That's the gateway drug. That's right. I've gotten wine at the wine bar next to it. That one's okay.

Wait, what wine bar? What is it called? Nicos? Yeah. Nicos. Yeah, Nicos. Baby Batista. I love Baby Batista.

Very cute. Very cute situation. They do stand up down there sometimes. They do. All that stand up in that basement. It's cool. There's like 20 seats. Yeah.

It's very cool. It's very cool, unless you're bombing. And then it feels like you'll never make it out. They used to have an open mic down there. It felt like Fight Club. They still do. It still does. Because I've done a showcase down there, too.

Yeah. I think Babs Gray runs it now. Anyway, David's on an imbalanced amount of caffeine. and I'm fasting for Yom Kippur. So this is going to be weird. You're fasting? Yeah. How did the fast start today?

Yeah. Last night at sundown. Wow. What does it go to? So for the listeners, it will have been three weeks of me not even. Yeah, but you're yom kippur. Yom Kippur. And I'm going to nom kippur.

Sundown. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. A couple of those bagels. Do you have your breakfast, like, planned that? I fucking hooked up some bagels and cream cheese and locks. Not to be like stereotypical here. But yeah, we're really doing it. I got some chicken soup.

Tonight? Yeah, you only fast one day. It's actually very easy. Is it where the term breakfast comes from? Break fast? Yeah, that's right. I know, did that. That was jarring to me as well.

Yeah. What did you say? Yeah. You break your fast? I was excited it's so smooth. I only know it because I watched the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel where they say it a bunch. Good show. Great show.

About Judaism. Good show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do. We break the fast. Anyway, I think the two go hand in hand. Thank you. Judaism and comedy?

Yeah. Yeah, I'd agree. Thank you very much, Sean. I don't love it, but yeah. Unfortunately, that's where we're at. Last time you were here earlier this summer, you did a good job. Are you planning on doing that again today? A good job today on this podcast?

I hadn't planned on it. Okay. All right, good to get that out of front. I wanted to be myself this time. Okay, bold choice, but we're going to see how that. No, you were talking about going on this big hike. Yeah. How did it go?

Not the whole Pacific Crest Trail. Oh my God, no, what did I say? No, you didn't say that. But it was like up there in Northern California, right? Yeah, I go backpacking every summer with my family. And this year it was just me and my sister. Beautiful. And we did kind of like a, we went in through Mono Pass near, is it near Bishop or Bridgeport?

David? Is there another David? Bridgette. Bridgeport. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Easter Island. Yeah, Easter Island.

Yeah. You will cry and do. Friday Harbor Where's Friday Washington? Washington. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Depot Bay. Gig Harbor. Shnohomish.

Pure one import. I don't know anything offshore. No qualmy falls. It's the qualami Falls. Chumash. No, it's Jewish. Federal way. Pekoma.

We're just fucking doing what. We're just going back and forth with Washington. Washington stuff. Damn. Oh, we're doing Washington. Walla. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Do the fucking song. All right. We're out of it. We're out of it. Jesus. We're out of it. He did the song. God.

How many days was the 30 miles? Four. Yeah. Just four. It was a short trip. We usually try to do like nine. Days? Yeah.

Because my dad was a, I mean, he's still alive. My dad is a maniac. And he would take us on like 10, 11 day trips off trail, like would not follow a trail. Really? When we were like a 12. You can... Crazy. It's like making pasta sauce?

You can just go off the game. I got my base. Which is walking in the woods. It's blowing my mind. I didn't know you could hike like that. You can go... You get a permit. You can go anywhere.

You can freestyle hike. People are doing that. I didn't know people didn't know this. Now I don't want people to know. No, I had no idea. Were you like bushwhacking through? At some places, some places we were like bouldering, which means like you've got your pack on and there's no trail and you're just

going from like... 10 foot boulder to 10 foot bowler. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Did you ever whack bush? Are you asking if I'm bisexual? Because I am. It's not of your business, but yeah.

Frankly, yes. I usually don't like talking about it, but yeah. While letting yourself, I just do. Why, let me yourself to the trail? I know I'm wearing jean jean jean shirt Jesus Christ You want on a 10-day whack push You people are so thirsty for my private information

So the hype was good It was a fun time It was awesome It was cool Yeah it was cool because usually my dad goes And he's kind of aged out So my sister and I were like Let's see if we can do it ourselves

And we did it That's great It was very cool Has your sister ever worked push That got less of a laugh than I wanted. And now I feel weird about it. No, no, no. Because I have to decide how much.

I didn't commit to the question. It's funny to hear yourself up, but when you're like, well, this is about someone else. And I don't know how much I can riff now. Immediately felt like out of the bounds of the comedy. I did the Timberline Trail, which is like 42 miles around Mount Hood. Yeah. Backpacking that. I've been recommended that trail.

It was fun. Yeah. But when you do it, they're like, if you're not going up or down, you're not doing it right. And that's intimidating because it means the whole thing is a workout. There's nothing flat. Oh, yeah.

It was very frustrating. A lot of like scree, whatever that shit, the loose. Yeah. That's tough. That's good for your butt, though.

You step and squeeze your way up there. We did St. Helens, too. That same thing. I was screaming. I think I'm going to do that St. Helens with my family. I'll do it with you.

With the boy? Huh? With the boy? Not that family. My other one. My other one. My second family. In Tocwila.

No, with my older brother and sister. My son is two, will be two years old at the end of November. I was thinking, I was doing that math. Yeah. He's not in hiking range just yet, but he's definitely in running around. Do you have one of those backpacks you can put him in and feed him snacks?

I would love to. Yeah, those are fun. And he would love that because he loves snacks. Yeah. He's a big snack guy. Those are the trips he used to take shot on. Just little jack anionle bottles. Tossing me shooters.

They come back, I'll chew it up. I would love to get my wife is extremely not outdoorsy. Okay. And that's not, she would agree. She's an indoor cat in a big way. So I think it might just have to be me and the boy. That's fine. But that's like, isn't that how boys learn they say?

I just went off with my dad. We would go like camping or, yeah, fishing just the two of us all the time. Yeah, that's good. I have strong sense memories about McDonald's breakfast burritos. Oh, S-C-E-N-T-S. No, both ways. Sets and sense. Sent, though.

I get it. Okay, I miss red it. Well, scent is a scent. And touch. Yes. A scent is a sense. A scent is a sense. I'm going to do a bad job today. No.

No. Not possible, my friend. We'll do bad. Isaac, mark it down. Put it in the episode description. Ian does bad. Nah. I got no dates.

Sean has no dates. David, do you have any dates? November 21st. In Denver. Skylark Lounge. I'm panicking. Why are you panicking? I'm jacked up on feed.

I'm a fiend for the fiend. He's fiending. I'll be in San Francisco, December 4th and 5th at Cobbs. You do that day? I forgot about it. You're doing the weekend? You forgot a weekend? Are you there with a Canadianiac?

I am. At a bed. Oh, Cobbs. Go get you some golden boy pizza. I just might, baby. Cobb salad is a great salad. Can I disagree? I'm so sorry, but like politely.

Is it the? Let's go. Is it the cherry tomato? I just think it's too much. It's blue cheese on it, right? Yeah. Which is the best part? There's too much like stank and weight to it.

That's what I like about it. That's what I like about it. It's how the podcast used to be. Not everything I said. We used to be a stank and weight podcast. Stank and weight. You need, sometimes that's what you need out of a salad. Yeah, I would just get like a sandwich, though, if I needed all that weight.

The bread, that's like a little too much weight. I like a Caesar. That's salad to me. You like it? You know what? I don't need to talk to off to your point. You go ahead and don't, you don't need to like cop salads. I didn't start it to convince you.

Yeah. Oh shit. Y'all beefing. We're hard-boiled egging, dude. Maybe a little bit of bacon. You're all egging? We're egging. I, yeah, yeah.

I do know what you mean. I do know what you mean where it's like that you walk into a salad and it's giving you that energy back is a little bit jar. It's aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You know who's got aggressive salads. a sweet grain. Really? Yeah. Have you ever had the shroom mommy? No.

That one's sick. It's right down the street. I do the shroom poppy. It's different. Yeah. I'm going to get sprayed himself. It's a little gayer. It's only for dudes.

You never heard of it. It's on a different menu. They hide that menu and you want it. I'm always doing that. I go in, I say, what's under the counter? And they give me a shrew poppy. What do you got for the fellas? I think you can tell.

I'm here for the fellas. Close of lines I put a $2 bill down Shit David goes to ain't nothing Sweet Greens Yeah I need a bitters and soda I would

If you were told that you'd be going to a party And a guy named Sweet Greens was there And this was pre-salad Pre-the-salad place existing Would you be excited or a little bit nervous Or? I definitely think that tracks Yeah

He just got out He's a weed dealer Sweet greens just got out Yeah I like this What if you were going to see a band and their opening act was called Sweet Greens? That might be in the bar. What about Sweet Greens and the Shrew Mommies?

That's swinging. That's swinging music, yeah. Swinging? Swinging. We'll be back with some more hypothetical questions, but I don't give anyone time to answer. We didn't actually take a break. No, we didn't. I'm doing a, I vow to do a bad job.

No, no, no. Listen, I'm getting off of a cold right now, and all of you are going like, I still have it. I'm still very, and I'm super contagious and it's a different one than the one we have. Oh, fun. That's okay, I need more time off work.

Where can people see you? On the internet or in my town on the street. Yeah. No, I don't really, when does this come out? October 15th. Just after my birthday. Oh, well, that's it. That was the only place I was going to be seen.

It's after my birthday. It's at your birthday. No, I got nothing. Do you like karaoke? I don't actually. Wow. But I can have fun anywhere. We're doing cops and sounds and karaoke.

I'm perfect. It's going to be a stank, dang, dang time. Oh, shit. I'll send a gift. Okay. All right. I think it around karaoke, but I also don't love doing it. Yeah, I don't know what it is.

It makes me crazy nervous. I'll do an open mic, like, music. Yeah. I don't know. Karaoke's like, feels so competitive. There's always a theater kid there who it means the world today. Hey. You don't know.

I'm not a theater kid. Isaac's amazing. Isaac's amazing. But it does mean the world. It does. I'm a retired musician. Yeah, that's what it is. Okay.

It's a different, it's very different than theater kids. Very different from theater kids. What's your song? Man, I'll sing God. Man, anything you wanted to do. No, what did you do? No, did you do it?

I did Sugar were going down. It was so good. He's got a great voice. Tennessee whiskey. He can do that. People don't know how to, how to like comprehend an Asian man.

singing in country. Yeah. I'm busy. Yeah, I can't pick care of it. I stand up and scream. Every time he does it. He talked about it when you were doing it. I have to be heavily sedated and removed.

I did happier than ever by Billy Eilish last time in New Orleans. That was really fun. Oh, a slow jam. And then it gets real, yeah, and then it gets real angry. He's a pipesman. He's got a great voice. A pipe smit.

A pipe smith. He also, he also likes to sing. Yeah. David winked. You guys, if you just listen. I can hear. I can hear. If you're listening at home, David wink.

I'm Brian. Your Instagram, you're on TikTok as well. I never made it over there. Your videos are so goddamn funny. Thank you so much. I know I said last time. I'm doubling down. They're so good.

Thank you so much. Almost never go on Instagram anymore. That's so good for your mental health. But when I go on there, it was a mental health-related thing. Your video is always a delight. Thank you so much. In absolute delight. I had quite a few people send me the Big Dog video.

Before we meant, I did. I didn't realize. So I got it a bunch, met you, didn't quite put it together. Oh my God. And since then, I've put it together. I've met like 50 people sent me that video. It's awesome. What's your connection to Big Dog?

We just love it. We're talking about Big Dog all the time. He calls people Big Dog a lot. I do like saying Big Dog. I had a hell of Big Dog when I was a kid too. My dad was Mr. Big Dog. Yeah, I had a tall dad. Again, still alive.

He's still tall. Still rocking the Big Dog. Still got the Big Dog. Still lots of Big Dog in the house, for sure. Wow. I haven't seen a Big Dog shirt. in a while. I was a big and tall dog.

So it was like almost exclusively Big Dog T-shirts for your boy because my mom could get them at the outlets at the coast. Yeah, the outlets. Yeah, stock up on Big Dog. Coastal outlets. I was wearing Jurassic Bark.

I had one. The craziest one I had because Big Dog would be like a show just got picked up. It just has no episodes. We're doing a shirt. It was a show called Men Behaving Badly in the 90s.

And I had a shirt that was dogs behaving badly. Yeah. And it was two dogs. on a couch and I'm like, I don't know what the show's about at all, but I had the shirt. He also had in Barking Color. In Barking Color. Barkisha.

Fire hydra bill. The state Barkie show. Barton. Barkton? Barkton? Barkton? Barkton? Anyway.

Their shirts aren't that clever. Some of them really are. If you go back and read through the titles, you're like, sign fetch. Is that one? That's pretty decent. I have sign fetch to this day. I got a sign fetch.

You still get a Big Dog T-shirt. Yeah, you can for sure. You know how you can't get is Big Johnson. We look at it. Or Coed Naked. Naked, those are hard to get, too. Was Big Johnson the one where we thought about buying it as a podcast? And then it turned out it was outside of our project.

I paid money. Yeah. I didn't get the Big Johnson shirt. Are you familiar with the Big Johnson line of novelty T-shirts? I am through the Big Dog video. People kept bringing up Big Johnson. I was like, what is this? Very declass A version of the Big Dog universe.

Yeah, yeah. Do you guys remember the Osaurus shirts from the 80s? Like the pizzasaurus, party sorris, mamaosaurus, datasort. You could get a shirt that said anything asaurus. And then it's a dinosaur doing that activity and then a definition. That's pretty sick. No, I don't remember. That actually, now that you mention all of that, that does kind of ring a bell.

Pizsosaurus? Yeah. You guys remember no fear so you could tell a kid was badass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lead follower came out of the way. I saw just related on the pizza source. The second place is the first loser. That was the big, no fear one.

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. When I was in Naples on my honeymoon, we were in Italy, and I got a fridge magnet that says, Naples, keep on slurping, and it's a pizza pizza, giving two hang loose signs with a tongue out. Are you sure that wasn't Naples, Florida? I think so.

Because that feels. I think it was Italy. Hey, don't tell you in where we're going, the pilot, everyone. He's going to think it's Italy. Human. A lot more man-a-tuce than I thought I don't see any Italians

Yeah, that's how it's how it is But keep on slurping and I'm like I don't know if they know what any of this means Keep on it, I guess you slurp pizza Yeah, I loved it No I think so I don't slurp pizza

Some people might It was really cheesy, you could give it a little slur It's not the primary I don't know if that Something you need to do Rarely do I get a chance to do that You hit a lot of them Kind of involved in the conversation

When was the last time you got a chance to do that? Years. I don't know when. Fuck, now. Isaac, I didn't like that. Isaac's taking the headphones off. I won't do it again. It's directly in my ears.

All right. Don't. All right. A lot of people. A lot of people. Sorry, y'all. Listen to it on speakers, bro. One of the reasons other than to help direct our people to your videos,

so they can experience joy and frivolity. Privility? No, that's not the word I was trying to think of. Frivolousness. Is there a fun F word that's... I think it's the F word. We can't record on Yon to 4 next year. Fun and enjoy.

Like, your videos are very fun. Horses are a common theme, a running theme of some of your videos where you rate horses. Yeah, someone has to. Someone has to rate these horses. You will go through pictures of horses, and you'll give them all ratings,

sort of horse reviews. Yeah. Most of these horses get pretty great reviews, I'll say. Well, yeah, I mean, they're all fair. Yeah. Yeah. But they all get a 10 out of 10. Has anyone ever sort of held your feet to the fire said,

we need a harsher review system for these horses. Have you gotten any blowback? No, people don't disagree with me. They don't. Everyone's like that is a 10 out of 10 horse. I feel like generally, yeah, they agree. How is the horse community responded? Yes.

They love it. I think, unless. They love being rank and filed. Yeah. They need it. They need the organization. That's fair. They're scattered brain notoriously.

Yeah. Before I came along, it was the Wild West. Which horses thrive there as well, I think. Horses tend to dominate the Wild West. Were you a horse person before? No, I don't know a thing about horse. Not at all? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You meet some of these horse people. Do you, when you meet them, are you in or out? It depends on the person, right? Yeah. No, I met the horse. Oh, when I meet, I don't meet the horses. You've never met a horse?

I mean, I've met some in real life. And how'd you feel? A little nervous. They're so big. They belong in the sea. Yeah. When I told my wife I was doing this, she said, but you hate horses. Yeah. No, no, no.

You hate horses? Have you ridden a horse? I have always felt that it was a bit overrated as an animal, yes. Wow. They're scary to feed. Everyone's like, you can feed it. It's fine, but you got to like tuck your fingers into nubs. Their energy is similar to that of a bird where I don't like being by you.

Yeah. Wow. Big. Unpredictable nature of them. So much muscle. I like the way the shit twitches so fast. They do twitch a lot. Yeah, they twitchy as shit.

Yeah. They're not supposed to, they're kind of like not, they're evolutionarily kind of fucked. Right? Yeah. We're like they, I remember reading some long. I don't want to break an animal. Horses. I have to hang out.

Oh, that good point. Good point. We're like they just basically run on essentially like fingernails, right? Like that's their hooves. And like they're amazingly like as an animal like amazing machines. Like they're so fast and like powerful. But like if one thing goes wrong, they kill them. Yeah.

Yeah, you got to put them down. Yeah, you got to put them down. Dog food city. But today we're lifting them up. Send it to the glue factory. Today we're elevating these horses. Yeah. We're drafting horses.

Dog food city. That's a, did you grow up here? Is that? Are they still doing that? That Sioux City's where they make dog food. Yeah, that's right. Oh yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah. Got to make it somewhere.

Yeah, they make it right off the freeway in Sioux City when you're driving by. Does it say? Have you guys ever eaten horse? Horrible. I don't think you can. Yes, you can in Japan. Me and my brother did it. You ate a horse in Japan?

Horse sashimi. No way. Also, shout out to my brother who's hiking Hachu right now. Okay. Yeah. So the horse got into him. in a different way to the kind of to do you. No, he's got a llama companion, apparently.

For now until he eats it. He's got a taste for it. He's going to taste for a pack of durner. It's just going to be him and the llama on the trail, and he's going to start telling him the story about the time he ate horse sashimi in Japan. By the time the llama looks around, your brother's going to be holding a gun.

We were pretty drunk when we got the horse sashimi. Okay. Do you remember liking it or caring or it? It just tasted like meat. It wasn't crazy. Yeah, yeah. I got a picture of it somewhere. You guys reacted horrible.

perfectly as though we don't eat beef tartar or carpachi. Like, we eat raw meat. It's not like a new thing. I don't. Well, now I feel bad. Yeah. And it was just my birthday. We sang so much karaoke.

We brought no place down. We ate cob salads. We said karaoke. You had to build your own cob station. Cobb salad. I had to build your own cob station. You were on creative the whole time. So many different kinds of eggs.

There were six different animals' eggs represented at the, at the, if you had to, how far quail, chicken, of course, duck. The amount of eggs we eat fish falls off pretty quick. Yeah. I had some fresh eggs recently. It is a different taste. Yeah. Because we got this bed on Facebook's

book marketplace and the guy had a bunch of eggs. Oh, like he had chickens in his yard? Yeah, yeah, and he gave us some. It's a, it's so, there's so much smaller. I know there's nothing nefarious about taking eggs from a guy who you met to get a mattress. Well, he sells him. He was like, he was like, but you guys can just have some of these.

But I feel like in that situation, either the bed or the eggs are going to be a little bit fucked up. Yeah, you can't do them both well. You can't do them both well. That guys do a bold of those things? They both work out okay. So far.

And you don't have to refrigerate them. Yeah, isn't that crazy? You don't have to refrigerate eggs, period. Or any bad. Americans just do that. Yeah. We put it all in the fridge. Yeah.

They lay eggs every day. Do you know that? Yeah. That's crazy. Also, sex is not involved. I didn't know that until a couple years ago. Right? Oh, you thought every egg was a product of fucking.

Yeah, I did. that's not crazy some of them are right you can get fertilized eggs at the farmer's market but like chickens have sex right am I insane here

no I don't know yeah I do because there's more chicken because they make eggs I've seen the hole but I never seen the I've never seen the act I've never seen chickens have sex

but if you have it just up in the comments whoa no save them I just looked it up Isaac's taking notes they're

there's something called the cloacal kiss that's all I'll say no that's not all you can that's the worst term please give us a little bit more who comes out at the same time during mating the rooster mounts the hens back and they press their cloacaque together okay oh they scissors there's a tail

they're cloaca I'm not I can't picture this you have to Google it too I do what's it called cloacal like cloacal kiss don't spell it wrong There is a visual. It's not pleasant. But this is an eagle.

It's not unpleasant. They're just docking, huh? They're just mounting. Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's a diagram. It's on Facebook. I can hear this photo.

Can you hear that top? Hey! Hey! I hate it! I hate it! Shut the fuck up. Shit the fuck up. Why do you have to show the belly full of eggs?

Why they put his beak next to her here? He's whispering. You like that? You like that sperm ducted cloical kiss contact? Does yours have the second picture underneath where it's disembodied? Yeah, I don't like that at all. I don't like that at all. There's some comments on here.

One from landscape grounds. In my professional experience on a farm, I have observed the reproductive habits of poultry can be influenced by various factors, including the size of the hen. and I've had instances where I've had 19 baby chickens. Good to know. It's all happening on Facebook. Well, it's a smart podcast. It's a smart podcast.

You were going to learn about cloical kiss on, you know, Bill Simmons. How did this get made? Yeah. Unless they do an egg episode. They might get to do it on that. We're drafting horses. Fictional and real. Fictional and real.

Yes. The whole board. Every kind of horse is available to be drafted. Specific horses, general horses, sergeant horses, all sorts of horses. Now, the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors, played by the three of you. We throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

God. Oh, David wins again. This is what happened last time. He's good at it. He wins. I don't know how. An insane amount. Yeah.

Including all three today. Yeah, last time I was here, you had won everything that week, I think, was It's a lot of rock, but whenever I throw a rock, it's like you could smell it on me. And then you turn it into paper. Are you mouthing what you're going to throw? Yeah, I'm like that horse who could do math. I just look at your face. Don't say it next, dude.

Oh, shit. David, as the winner is incumbent upon you to determine the order to this draft before you do that, I will remind you to the serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question. This is from Adam Yeaton. Shout out. But it's like a dog when they're sniffing. the bottom of a door. They just

go back and forth. Oh, okay. Isn't that a good one? That's awesome. I'm also picturing like a cat paw. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Just kind of I hate that. Get out of here. I'm shitting. They want it. They do. Let me sit on your shoulders, please. What the fuck do you want to do in here when I'm doing this? They sit and scratch on the doors when the bathroom's in.

You're like, you don't want to be in here. Nobody wants to be in here. They do. My cats were very well taken care of and always like fresh water every day. Every time I take a shower, one of them, the more the one where we have invented a more dignified backstory for him we'll run in and just start licking up the water from the shower.

I'm like, you have water. Oh man, I hate that. My little freak gets in there after I get out. Yeah. The naked one? The hairy naked one? Yeah, it's fucked up. And then I'll go in the bathroom

and just sitting in there and like the afterglow of the steam and I'm like, this sucks. Do they like the steam? This sucks for you and me. I guess they like the steam. It's probably good for its skin. It's exposed skin.

Who gives a shit about it? I got it's kidding. Are you supposed to like lotion them every week or something? She's a little animal. I don't do shit to her. You have a very antagonistic relationship with your cat. I wash her a lot. I don't.

I want to do impress you. You should start lotioning your cat. Brother. Then everything they said in middle school will be true. With that, basically, if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round, with that mind, David, what will the order of today's horse draft be? I got to go first, and then we'll just do the couch. Sorry, you keep getting skipped out.

Not sorry, you're a utility player. You're not going to me? Oh, I don't get to go last again? That's all right. Hot corner. Hot corner. I traditionally go last. The order will be David, Sarah, Ian.

Sean, we're going to get to that first pick right after this short break. What is Crack? In fan. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide, right? Nationwide with an average co-pay for eligible members of just $23 per session. One Michael Jordan per session, and you could get coverage. In a lot of you, let me tell you this, a lot of you didn't know that it was World Mental Health Day. World Mental Health Day broke. it was October 10th. And, you know, your body doesn't know that. How are you supposed to know? Your body doesn't say, oh, my gosh, it's world, it's world mental health day. I better, I better calm down for Sean today.

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And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, a podcast. It needs a lot of gravity on that. We're drafting horses. David, you have the first pick. Taking a straight up smoke show. Taking the sexiest horse in the biz. I'm taking spirit.

Spirit of the Simmerus? No, of the Disney movie. Yeah, the Disney film. Isn't it Spirit of the Simarolin? Simet? No, that's the Tolkien book. Yeah, the Lord of the Rings is Simmer. Stallion of the Simmeron.

Spirit, Stalin of the Simmeron. Is that the full title? Yes. Cinnamon. He's a five-year-old. Actually, it's pronounced cinnamon. Cinnamon. My son, Arthur, like you know,

is saying cinnamon now? Yeah, you know Arthur, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys have a separate friendship. He's saying cinnamon now? One of the greats. How's he say it? Cinnamon

Minnamanamin Minnam How often has cinnamon come up in his life? Every Sunday That's great Yeah That's good

Yeah He like smelling it And then we put in his little Banana oatmeal pancakes Oh like Jack Johnson Yeah Like Jack Johnson Yeah

No one else in my house Gets that reference Yeah He doesn't say Simmonum Simmonum He says it right Cinnamon

Cinnamon So he calls it a tigar. And I used to do that with a, I couldn't say the word shoulder. I just could not. Probably up until I was like five. So you say, soldier? Should you say soldier? Like shoulder or soldier?

Soldier. I just could not do it. And then I also said unork. Max will say regular. Instead of New York. Instead of New York. Instead of regular. It seems harder to say than regular.

Regular. Regular. Regular. Regular. Regular. Regular. Regular. Regular.

Regular. Regular. Regular. I got Regural. I got Reggerall. Thanks to once weekly dose of Reggerall, I'm able to go out. I'm able to take my shirt off again.

Hey, look at that. My pickleball career. The only HIV medicine that contains one drug. Yeah, yeah. Regerol. Regerle. Yeah. It feels like something you watch during the NBA finals.

Oh, man. Remember when they were pushing Bik Tarvey down our throat? Yeah. Bik Tarvey was everywhere. Oh, yeah. What was that for? I don't know. Then the Big Harvey Weinstein news dropped.

Put his jersey in the rafters, folks. Retire it. That's it. That's comedy's over. Bictarvy Weinstein? We're done. What else are we going to do here? What about horses?

I've never seen spirit. I think I've ever seen spirit. Stallion of the Cimarron. You just look it up. It's the hottest horse you've ever seen. It's beautiful. I don't actually think I've seen that film front of that. Nobody has.

I haven't. I remember the McDonald's toys. Yeah. He's yellow, right? He is a good-looking horse. It's like they made him look like a hot dude. Yeah, they did. I said Spirit and my wife said, I was, my wife said,

I was waiting for Spirit to come and whisk me away during our wedding. I said, that's not fucking funny. It is funny. I said it's 8 in the morning. Voiced by Matt Damon, is that right? That can't be right. Wow. See what he does?

See what he does? He wrecks marriages. Can I have a moment? Can we cut you a break? Wait. Can we cut to it? Matt Damon, he's a Kiger Mustang.

Whatever that is. Horse located in the southeastern part of the U.S. state of Oregon. Look up the McDonald's toy. See how sexy that is. Basically a sex toy. Spirit McDonald's toy.

There's still horse, I think I've had, without naming kinds of horses. There's still like wild horses, right? Yeah, apparently. I said there weren't, and somebody got really mad. Imagine. I was from Colorado.

And I was like, I'll fucking be out there. They do. They got wild horses. I saw much in England when I was on the South Coast. Okay. England. Maybe stop trying to get pussy for one second. I'm cracking myself up over here.

Affine. Where is the Cimarron? That's my big question. It's the Cimiron. I knew a kid named Cimarron when I was a kid. I knew a harsimmerin. Harsimarin. Harcimarin.

Harcimarin. I knew a harsemminan. Cinnamon. Sinan. Manin, menin, minin, minin. Ha simwin. Ha simoamuan. Ha simoimowin.

To be continued, where the cimmerin is. But yeah, spirit, Stalin and the Simmerim. Is he a heroic horse? Yeah, I don't know. Probably. It's the hottest guy I could think of. Yeah, he's a really good-looking dude. It was the first horse.

You look at that, you're like, assolars. It's impressive to do that without going anthropomorphic. like with Robin Hood the Fox. Right. Who's way too sexy. Who's like way too sexy. No, Spirit is like dude

with fox head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Spirit's just a horse. That's just a horse. Yeah. I mean, it's Matt Damon inside of there. Yeah.

Do with that what you will. Like, I wish it were me. Bull in a horse shop. I don't know what's happening. That's all right. You're on fire. That's great. Yeah.

Sarah, time for your first pick in the horse. draft. Okay. This is your home court. This is your home court. Home turf, really. Yeah, I know and I wanted to do some heavy hitters, but I figured you guys did have those covered, so I kind of went deeper. I got some deep cuts on here, too. Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm curious if any of you guys

had this, because this is actually like, means the world to me. Can you wait one second because these sirens are really loud? They're coming to get me. They're just going to get loud. My rides here. That's great. Comedy. Okay, we're good. Okay, I'm really excited about this. I'm going to take Bill

from Lord of the Rings. They can't go into the mines of Moria with him because the mines are no place for a pony. Oh yeah, that's right. And they turn Bill away. Yeah. Sam's horse. And he saw he's like,

goodbye, Bill. Goodbye, Bill. That's crazy. I had another L-O-T-R horse. I know which one you had. They can come up. I guess my list is like the fuckable horses. Yeah, you have the type.

But you want utility and I get that. I don't know. It depends on your taste. That's true. That's true. What a horse is fuckable and what's consumable. F fuck Mary Kill Bill is a Mary for sure

Yeah Bill's husband material Yeah Bill's big time husband He's a little pony Look at him He's a pony Yeah I think Sean Astin

Bought Bill after the filming No wait Maybe that was Vigo Mortensen That sounds like a Vigo Vito did Vought the horse I think Vigo bought his horse That he rode

I remember seeing Vigo move Not a Sean move That's not a Sean move He shipped it to wherever He lives in Next to a bog Yeah

I bet Vigo does live in a castle Near a box How often do you think Vigo's shirt has been all the way buttoned? Do you think ever in his life? Why would you? I don't think it can. I don't think it does. No.

Yeah. It just slips. Yeah, it's just the buttons are like, no. It's like two magnets with the same side. You can't button it over the Mithril. Nice. Nice, Paul. Nice, Paul.

Mithril. Mordor. Mordor. Morda. Keep going. Keep going. More, more, more. Saraman.

Saran. We are dressing my son up, who I will now give you a visual representation. He's going to be a Hobbit for Halloween. I'm going to be Gandalf and my wife is going to be Orlando Bloom. Jessica Rabbit. Oh, she's going to be Legaloz? Legalo. No, no.

Orlando Bloom. Legalo. It's just a different movie. On the paddleboard with Katie Perry. Where's the most him looking like a little bit of a lot? Orlando. Orlando Blue? Elizabeth Town, Ned Kelly.

He has an interesting American accent in Elizabeth Town. Yes. That's a little hobbit. He's a little hobbit boy. That's a hobbit for a shirt. We found little things that go over his feet that make them look like shoes or his little shoes that look like furry feet. Oh, that's a hobby. He's making eyes at me.

Oh, yeah, from across the bar. Don't tell my horse. Can you send those to me so that I can put it up on the screen? No. Oh. That's a good call. No. Okay.

Keep it private? Yeah. My son looks like a hobbit. Spirit gets jealous. Yeah. Can confirm. My son looks like spirit. But Bill.

Bill from Lord of the Rings. Absolutely. What a sweet little horse. Where do you think he goes after that? God, I think he gets killed immediately. I hate thinking about it. There's no fucking way Bill made it. Those orcs.

Without the guidance of Sam? No. A village of orcs just descended upon him. Immediately tumbled. down the side of the mountain. Yeah. Straight up limb from Lynn. He's dead meat.

He's dead meat. Dog food city. They made sashimi out of them flume to Japan. Time for my first pick. See, okay. Okay.

You're gonna go battle wrappers. All right. I'm gonna do my Julia Stiles before I dance stretches. I'm gonna keep track of these. I'm gonna take Busephalus. I think you get that and you have to take medication.

I'm going to take Victorvie. Yeah, this is what I like McThervee. This is an awkward conversation, but I think I got boocephal. It's butt syphilic. I don't know how, butsifalic. Because you mean it's short for booty septuyl. Dr. I have bucephalic.

I don't know how, but I got bocephalibal. I don't know how. I'm a virgin. It's divine an nonsense. My wife is going to be so bad. Busefalous was Alexander the Great's horse. And I mostly drafted him because I wanted to say Busephalus. Now we see why.

Yeah. It paid off. It paid off. It worked. Big time. One thing to say, Busephalus. Alexander the Great is the one who conquered all of Asia? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, all of like the Grecian world. He was a Macedonia, right? Okay. Constantinople. Constantinople. Was he Colin Farrell in a movie? Or was Colin Farrell him, rather?

I don't. Oh, there was a movie Alexander. Yeah. Let's see. It doesn't, no, I guess it doesn't matter, but. Alexander was played by Colin Farrell. You fucking nailed the dude. You know who's in that movie?

It was probably fucking Buseppe. Buccello. Oh, they had an outbreak on set. What happened? Rell Farrell. He was old days, Colin Farrell. I really see the same people for six months. What are you going to do?

He was a massive, powerful black stallion with a large white star on his forehead. It's Greek meaning ox-headed, boos and kephalus for head. And he had his own coins. So there were like coins minted with bucephalus on there. So people were like buying dinner. Well, probably other lesser horses with bucephalite. You owe me a couple B-notes. Yeah, give me a couple B-notes.

Did horses used to live longer, like, or live shorter? like people did. I'm curious about that. That's a great question. Because putting it on a coin is insane because it's only going to live like 10 years. Yeah, but nobody saw anybody

back then on coins. You know what I mean? Nobody saw anybody period after one time. You saw 20 dudes. Yeah. What's the difference between 3505 BC and

326 BC? Is that right? No. 29 years. 29. 29. Right? Yeah.

29 years. 29. So Bustapolus lived at 29. That's an old-ass horse. Is that? That's that one. Age 30, it says. 30.

Okay. Busephalus. Wow. Died at his 30th birthday. Cocaine. That's a kind of raised his voice on that one. Age 30, it says. Just projecting my voice.

Get him. You ain't got to apologize. He was like an untamable horse. He was wild and unruly and attacked anyone who tried to mount him. So he was Alexander. At 12 could. At 12. Sounds like that movie Honeyboy.

The Fears Macedonian. Maybe. I haven't seen Honeyboy. Does he have a horse? Is that the drug movie? That was pretty good. Is it? Is that the Shia LaBuff movie?

Yeah. Oh, okay, yeah. You gotta see the movie. It's so random. But he's really funny. Does he tame a horse? Aren't they just, like, in a hotel? It ain't what I'm thinking of then.

I'm thinking of, like, some. That's a no answer. He beds a sex worker. Oh. Oh, oh, at a young age. Yeah, yeah. Which was what I was like, he wrote this movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she said, oh, don't worry. worry about it. It's free. Then he won the lottery. That was awesome. You should be a movie star. That kind of stuff.

Busephalus is my first pick. Alexander the Great's War Horse. Sean for your first and second bit. Mr. Ed? Yeah, classic. I read, I didn't, but his real name, Mr. Ed's name,

bamboo harvester. The bamboo harvester? I think so. And then it said, on an on-screen double named Pumpkin. So from what I heard, the real horse's name was bamboo harvester unless I was reading it wrong. And the other one is pumpkin. And they would replace him.

But I watched Nick at night for days when I was a kid. And Mr. Ed was one of the shows that I just absolutely loved. Bamboo Harvester. Bamboo Harvester. Yeah. It died of 21. Hollywood. Rough birthday.

Hollywood. Pinole of Cephalos was on Mediterranean diet. Yeah. All of those uppers and downers. Yeah. Like Judy Garland him. Totally Julie Garland. Bamboo Harvester was on a Miami diet.

Bamboo Harvester sounds like a nickname for the Miami Diet. You got any of that bamboo harvester? Yeah, Mr. Ed, man. Did you ever watch Mr. Ed as a kid? Because it was still on. And you're much, much, much older than that. I was born in the 50s. But it was on Nick at night, yes.

Sean is 71. It looks great. Yeah. I do. For a 71-year-old, I look amazing. You find out I'm 25. Yeah, I watched it all the time when I was a kid. Wilbur.

Yeah. Feel, I mean, it's how many episodes of Mr. Edward were? This is one of those. Oh, I was going to say way lower. Oh, I should let you guys. It's one of those ones that I was thinking it seemed like it was that many, but it was probably two seasons. Like Gilligan's Island. Yeah.

I just found out that Lizzie McGuire was only like one or two seasons long. And I remember Lizzie McGuire being on for at least 10 years. Yeah. Did they just keep running episodes? I guess. But it also came out every week or every, they came out frequently. Yeah. Well, to me, Saved by the Bell has been on since days of our lives.

But that was only like three or four seasons too. Right. Which is nuts. But some of those seasons, like Lizzie McGuire might have been like 40 episode seasons or something like that. Yeah, it's the whole school year, right? Yeah. Yeah. Every day.

I don't know why I thought every day. Yeah, I watched Mr. Ed a ton when I was a kid. 143. How, do you know how to get 143 stories out of a guy? I love with a talking horse. Can you imagine that? I blow my load by 10. Yeah.

What's episode 15? Well, that's when the dentist surprised his horse talks. It is that, though. And then the postman is surprised. Then the milk man is very surprised as well. Like, oh, I can't believe you have blessed you. Those are all separate.

Your horse. No, I can't, I don't remember one single storyline about that show. Nothing about the show other than him saying Wilbur and the theme song. Who voiced him? Wilbur. Don't know. Actually, it was Louis Armstrong. I thought it was really him talking the whole time.

I thought it was Mr. Ed. I thought it was Bamboo Harvester talking. George Burns funded the pilot himself. That guy knew what was up. He knew Hollywood. Mr. Ed, a talking Palomino was played by a gelding bamboo harvester and voiced by former Western film actor Alan Lane. There we go.

Alan Lane. Where over. Unless, of course, is a talking horse. The name is Mr. Ed. So it's set. They live in San Fernando Valley. So it's an LA show. It's a wide swath.

A little different now up there. In the San Fernando Valley? Sushi. Right? You said that because of that DJ movie. I had almost made, you know, I was going to draft it last episode,

but I was like, I've watched it 10 times. I can't in good conscience pick that. We are your friends. Yeah, that's not a bad movie. I thought about lying to you guys and I didn't because we're friends,

but I was like, we picked movies you only watch once last episode. Oh, nice. We drafted movies you only watch once, or two episodes ago. But, yeah, That's why. That's why I did that. You're right. Busted. Second pick. Yes, sir.

The horse from Renan Stimpy that has like the rubber nipples on his knees all the time. Oh, those nipples freaked me out. Me too. I couldn't watch Cartoon Network. It was too scary. It is so gross. Renstimpy is gross. Ren and Stimpy is gross. They're going to make it anyway. Courage to cowardly dog. It was all so scary. And then there was where they walk up and they're selling rubber nipples door to door. And the horse is like, oh, rubber nipples. Why didn't he say so? He invites him in and puts him on his knees. Yeah.

He's got a name in the show. Is it just Mr. Horse or something? It's Mr. Horse. No, sir. I don't like it. Rubber Nipples. No, sir, I don't like it.

Oh, this great one? It's like a very buff. Yeah. Yeah, he was weirdly buff. Yeah, but gross look. Just so visceral or whatever the term would be. Same thing with the AN flux. I know we've talked about it a bunch.

Oh, yeah. When they would show like tongues wrapping around each other. And the water looked weirdly super wet. Yeah, dude. Mr. Horse isn't not sexy. No, he's all right. Yeah. I mean, he's got his own crib.

That's a, that's a sexy thing. He's got his own crib. That's right. He's independent. Yeah, he's financially stable. Independently wealthy. He's clearly lifts weights. Yeah.

That little horse weights. Yeah. He puts his little glasses on. Ew. Yeah, got me thinking about how gross Renan Stimpy was. He's the most frequently reoccurring character in the series. In the whole thing, huh? Yeah.

Well, there we go. Yeah, he is. A long body. I just got a long body when they stand up on those back two legs. How many episodes are run in Stimpy are we at? Oh, hold on. I'm going to say 42. You think that's it?

I was going to guess in the hundreds. Oh, they do. I haven't looked it up yet. Okay, I'm going to say 58. Okay. I'm going to know, I think, 41. Oh, your price is right in me. 52!

Jeez. So if we're prices riding, I was closest if we're not prices riding. Right. Whoever said 42 is closest if we are present. What did you say? 62? Yeah. Why were you, it's 52?

Yeah, but I. Why were you closer? I want me to win. Give him something. He's bombing today. I want me to win. I'm having a bad episode. My other jackets hanging all weird?

Look how weird it's hanging. Look at it. Don't fix it. I deserve this. Guy hasn't had any Yom or Kapoor in a whole day. It's Yom Kippur. I'm making all sorts of other mistakes. I'm going to have to atone for next year.

Atone. I don't think I've ever atoned for anything. I've been punished. I've never atoned. You know? I got busted. stealing. I got grounded for a couple days. I don't think that was a tone.

You didn't know? What were you stealing? I stole, well, I stole tons of stuff. But the thing I got I got snitched on, by the way, by my aunt who sucks. I hate her. Big family drama. Yeah. Okay, okay. But she, uh, I stole a toy gun.

I was going to paint it to look like a real gun. Very nefarious. Yeah. But she snitched on me. It was, I was outside waiting for her because she got busted, stealing Jimmy hats. You. How old was she? Not old enough. Well, I guess if you're stealing them, though you need.

You should be. Please, if you steal condoms if you need to. No, but she snitched on me. And yeah, I came out and I was crying so hard. I was probably 11. It's just weird. But how old was she? 14, maybe.

Wait, and how old were you? 11. It was like an aunt that married in. Okay. I atone every time I do the wild thing. Wild bang. Excuse me, do you have any atone loat? I didn't even put the connection again.

I thought you were just being silly. Oh, no, it's a totalogue joke. I did it last episode. You did a tonalogue joke last episode, too? I missed the one last joke. Yeah. Or last episode, holy cow. Yeah, Mr. Horse from Ren and Stimpy.

Mr. Horstimpy. It's time for my second pick. Can't believe he's on the board still. I'm going to take Man of War, the racehorse. Now, there's a lot of race horses you could take. Yeah, they made a movie about this one. Black, white, Puerto Rican. Yeah.

Is he... All the difference. That's right. Is he the one that killed it last year? No, man of war... No, this is old. Man of War helped lift America's spirits during the Great Depression.

Man of War was like one of the greatest racehorses in history, and I'm taking him. Take him. Because not only was he a great racehorse, he immediately sired another racehorse that was a triple crown winner. And the other horse that is considered the great racehorse. considered the greatest racehorse of all time is a direct descendant of man-of-war. So the other competitors in this field wouldn't even exist if it weren't for

a man-of-war. And that's why I'm taking man-of-war. And today, I think it's like, it's something crazy. It's like 80% of racehorses are all related to the other racehorse. Yes. That we're not saying the name of-law. Which means they're all also related to man-o-war. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a big thing, right? It's like lineage with, especially with race-forces. Yes. Right. And alpacas. I sent you guys that thing. Yeah, you did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it really? Yeah, I went to an alpaca farm the other day. Does it have to do with, like, how soft their coat is or their wool is? It's like a color thing. Like, they breed for different colors and, like, gray is, like, really good. Crazy. Interesting.

We saw a couple alpacas up in Portland, Oregon. That's likely. Yeah, yeah. They have, like, celebrity long. Oh, I'm sorry. That's the second one you've come up. with, so you know like the CDs jokes. Seedy's nuts.

Yeah, yeah. Jokes of that nature. Wendy's, Wendy's nuts. So David, just now, has done, have people done alpaca before? I've never heard it. Alpac and he's nuts.

Then he heard. What was the other one you did the other day? Disco. Disco. Disco in your mouth. Disco in your mouth. Do you like disco? I've been really freaking out lately. He's getting really freaky.

He's getting a freaky turn. It's crazy because I haven't heard even one other person ever coin one and you've gotten two in the last calendar week. They're never new. The Odyssey was the newest one I heard. Yeah, the Odyssey is the oddisied. It was pretty well I was tickled when I figured that up. Yeah, to make up new ones just right here on the fly. Pretty impressive.

Love it. Maybe some more fiend. That and rock paper, scissors. Two weird things to be really good at. Yeah, highly monetized. Yeah. Anyway, man in war, I knew I needed a racehorse. I wanted the granddaddy of the mall.

Have you ever been to a horse race anyone? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to bartender the horse race in Portland. I live really close to the Santa Anita track. Yes. Me and Jamal and Jordan Temple were there like four months ago. Oh, it's so fun.

It's a great time. It's really fun. The old parking lot. Huge parking lot. My ex-boy got his tailgate of his truck stolen in that parking lot. I didn't know that was a thing. We didn't until it was stolen. He came back out from the races and the tailgate was gone.

And once you saw that, you were like, I can't be with you anymore. Yeah, I was like, that's disgusting. Driving around without that thing? You love to take your manhood. You got on the horse and rode home. That was a side bet he made. He didn't tell you about it. He bet tailgates with somebody inside.

We race for pinks around here. That's gray's, though. Grace lips. That's just the tailgate. The old vice president of late night, West Coast. for CBS. Oh, I thought she said his name was West Coast.

West Coast? I thought the same thing. And I was so okay with it. West Coast. Everybody was that's funny. I don't have to say anything. Yeah. Yeah.

Just for me. Just a handful of grapes. Wesley Coast. Wesley Coast. No, it's named's Nick Bernstein, but he's the VP for late night just for the West Coast, which means just our show.

Was really, really, really, really into horse racing. To the point, and he mentioned it on the show enough that they had a day to like, where they let him like, like, start the race. It was like an honor, basically like being like the flag guy, but for like race horses. So we all went out there. He got like a booth. It was a beautiful day.

I love that. It's fun. And it's fun. And it's fun. And it's fun. And it's fun. My favorite thing they tell you is when you get a bottle of champagne, they say, please don't open this during the race.

And you know they're saying that because it's happened. For sure. Someone pops a champagne bottle and the whole race is just, Yeah, all the horses rhyme. So now they have to tell you every time you order champagne. I love that. Wait, yeah. I love that you order champagne at the races.

You got to get a bottle. I love that. You got to get a bottle. You got to get a box seat. They're only 20 bucks. You got to drink at the horse race. It's cheap. Yeah.

Oh, you can't do that. Sober. You know, it's funny. First time I ever got recognized for anything in comedy career at the horse races. What was it? Golden Gate Fields in San Francisco or Oakland, I guess, technically. Should we get a box and do a live? episode from a horse race?

Gosh. Wear big hats. Yes, we all wear big hats. Pop the champagne in the middle of the race. We'll draft horses round two. We're going to draft. It doesn't have to be horses. I bet to show.

It's like it's like covers more ground. Yeah, yeah. I'm a Quinela guy. I want it all. That's for a second and third. Right? Quinella. Oh.

Wait. Is that the word? Is that Quinella? No, I thought that was to show. Is that trifecta? Trifecta. What's a Quinella? Trifectta is multiple races.

Oh, Quinella is what I take. it's a once daily medication Well, you spent some time on the Queen Mary. Methyroquin is if you don't want malaria. Boofellus. Bucephalus. Even more sexual. Boofellis sounds so gnarly.

That's the STD you get from boofing drugs. Quinnellas you pick two to take the top two spots in any order. That's an interesting that when you bet on horse racing and find out how many bets there are that you can place, it's nuts. Dude, it's fun. Yeah, you're going to walk away with something.

Yeah, you usually all hit something. If not the money, I'm taking somebody's tail getting the punch of the money. I'm not leaving empty-handed. We all did lose money on a horse called Comedy Town, which was upsetting. That should have known. Yeah. Although that does seem like divine, you know, like. That's what it felt.

Three comedians, it's Comedy Town. Forget it, Jake. Sarah, time for your second, bitch. Okay, I'm worried no one's going to get this because I've explained this to a couple of people and they're like, don't say that on the podcast. This is exciting. Those rules. After Harry Potter was done filming.

What's the lead guy's name? Daniel Radcliffe wanted to do a really big departure from that character. So he was in a play called Equis where he fucks a horse. And I am drafting the horse that he fucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was bottomless on stage. Do you want to see the photo? You want to see the photo.

You got topped by a horse? He had the wand out. No, I think he topped with the horse. Oh, okay. Okay, thank God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the premise that got us there? EQUIS?

Like, what, did he, why did he need to have sex with the horse? I'm getting it, don't worry. You can kind of see his. Daniel Radcliffe seems great. He seems to have a good sense of humor. He seems like a really good sense of him. It's maybe the worst picture I've ever seen. I saw him in, um, oh my God.

What is that song? What is the Sondheim play that was a big bomb and they revived it with, uh, Daniel Ragcliff? I'm not a theater kid as we've already established. I'm trying to trap you. I'm trying to catch you out. Really? Yeah. Shredded guy.

Shredded. Merely, we roll along. I saw Radcliffe and Merely, we roll along. Is he singing? He was singing. He was great.

He was phenomenal. Oh, my gosh. He's the lead of my favorite movie of all time. I was going to say that. Yeah, that's right. What if? Yeah,

we're the F-word in Canada. But it's, what if a wizard. School existed. Bang a horse. It's the full-day-up movie. What if this orphan? Bear with me.

It's like a Fiona Apple album cover. It's just the longest title you've ever seen. What if we call a Harry Potter? Whatever. Or that. How did we write him into the horse sex, though? Like, how did we get there? You're going to go see Equest, dude?

Yeah, it doesn't. I don't actually know anything about the play. He blinds them all in it, too. He also then blinds the horses. Oh, I'm another horse. horse and not how you're thinking. I was thinking a pretty normal way. No, he doesn't with his penis.

I was thinking of pepper in the eyes or sand or something. No, no, no, no. I don't know. I don't know what Equus is about at all. The only thing I know is the aforementioned. He fucks the horse. That's right. Equus horse.

David, how for your second and third picks? A, B, C biscuit. Okay, yeah. Was C-biscuit real? No. Yes. Yeah. I thought he was a real horse.

Yeah, Seabiscuit's real. Yeah, everyone's related to him. Was he based on Man O War? He's an offspring of Manor. Well, is that the one we're not talking about? I'm thinking of a different one. You're thinking of a different one. Different one that also starts with an ass.

This changes everything. So C-Biscuit is Man O'Rour's kid? No, Seabiscuit. It was sired, grand sired by Man of War. Man of War's out here. Blowing up. Was Seabiscuit that big of an underdog then? If they knew that his grandpa, it feels like a Nepo baby.

Yeah. If my name's Jason Tyson, and I got a pretty good chance in the boxing match. What if you're related to Cecily and not Mike? Still a good chance. She was athletic as hell. Yeah, that's true. A lot of people don't talk about that.

Yep. Was Seabiscuit and the underdog? I never saw the movie. I never saw the movie either. Really? Really? Right? No.

No, it was the other small one. Toby. Toby. Is Jake Gillian all small? He is small. Okay. Wow. And Maggie's tall.

The sister's tall. Yeah. I don't know what my first name, very. He's not like actor short, but he's like dude short. It's like five. Seven? Yeah. Yeah, really small.

Gorgeous. What a tiny guy. Gorgeous. He might be fasting right now too, you know what I mean? One of ours. One of ours. Hey, welcome to the podcast where we talk about where the Jews are at. Remember from two episodes?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oftentimes. Oftentimes. I don't know. He was small for a thoroughbred at only 15.2 hands high with stubby legs on lumpy build and an awkward rolling gate. And he despite that, he managed to win Taylor Swift's heart.

He just liked me for real. He just like me for real. No, but that's sea biscuit. It feels mean to name a horse that of those dimensions, something like C-Biscuit. I don't know what C-Biscuit is. Me neither, but that sounds like a stumpy-lumpy guy, doesn't it? Is there a C-Biscuit a thing?

Maybe like a hard-tack biscuit that wouldn't go bad, like something you could take to see? Yep, that's what it's called. Yeah. And his sire was named Hardtack. Oh. Where's sire coming? What's sire mean?

It's my name. To be the male, to be the semen of something. You sired your daughter. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. And also a sire. He's like, I'm remembering it.

I remember. IVF was a very emotional. That's a process. Yeah. Then I had of a sex to me, brother. Then I had of a septum. You should talk about it on the podcast. Hero, ally.

One of the good ones. King, God, man. Non-believer. Brother, father. Friend, woman. Sire. I was thinking about this again, can you only become a senior when you have a younger you and name it your name? You can't be born a senior, right?

Traditionally, that is how it's been. Like if you... Like, if I had a son, I was like, that's going to be Jason Senior. Jason Jordan Senior. I can't do that, right? I don't make any sense. I don't think you can. I think you could call him Senior Jason Jordan.

Yeah, I could. Or if he was Mexican, you could call him Senor. Senor. Or even Spanish. But like to be a senior, you got to have a kid that's... I don't think you get senior until after you commit the act. It's like being an Esquire. Right.

And then, but then you've got to change all your, you know... Now I got to sign. Like, you decide your senior or do you just... Do you have to change or do you just decide? You don't even have to change. have to senior yourself. You could just have, if you had a son and you name them Sean Jordan, you wouldn't even have to become

Sean Jordan Senior if you didn't want to. You'd your son would say my dad, Sean Jordan, senior, sired me. Okay. Damn. All right. Now I know. S.J. 2. Educational. Can girls do that? Yes.

Does that happen often? I don't think it does. I feel like I was just having this conversation. If you could junior a girl? Yeah, I was having this conversation. You can't junior a girl? Well, you know, Lorelei is Rory short for Lorelei. That's right. So they're both floralize. That's so fun.

I got to, it's Gilmore Girls. I got to watch that. Rashan Rock? You would love it. It's crazy that I haven't seen it. You will flip your lid. It's like we need another COVID because that's how I got crazy.

Stop. You got to chill. So you can watch some more TV? I'm a selfish. I'm a selfish prick. Do you have what you traditionally refer to as a day job? I can't watch TV all day. Just throw it on the treadmill, man.

Oh, it could be a show. Just maybe don't watch Under Siege again. You know who would love it? Laura, your wife would also love Gilmore Girls, I think. Do you think? Yes. Okay. I think that same.

I think that's a different middle name. It says from Lorelei, so they're not technically. So they're not technically. Yeah, the full name has to be the same to get the junior apparently. Oh, okay. Yeah. But I think you could junior and grow. I mean, you decide.

Yeah, you decide. Yeah, you decide. Yeah. We report. Damn, you feel like a woman. Call me crazy. Because I'm a junior. Short legs, lumpy bill.

Upward gate. He lost the first 17 races before he got a new team to train him. Tom Smith. That's the guy's name. How many races do you give a... Well, one more. Before you shoot it? Before you stop, I guess you don't just execute the horse if it doesn't.

You sell it, right? How many times do you race a horse before you're like... Dog food city? I think they used to just get him. Dog food city. I don't know. Oh, no. I don't know.

Oh, me, oh my. Oh, crap. I don't know, dude. Dark. Dark Sean. Oh, man. Seabiscuit. And your third pick.

Shadow Vax. Ah, there's our other Lord of the Ringshorse. Yeah. I don't really know what that means. Teach them the meaning of haste. Wasn't there also a king of the Eagles? And we don't really know what they did in that series? Yeah, well, if you read the book, they give you more.

Shadowfax has a way bigger reputation in the book. Really? He's got big BDE in the book. Whoa, he's a big time sire. Oh, everybody loves Shadowfax. Yeah. They barely mention in the movie. Spirit vibe to him.

Whoa. Okay, I understand what my roster is doing. It's Gandalf's horse, Shadow Fax? After he dies and comes back to Gandalf the White. Yeah. He comes back on Shadow Fax. Shout over. Teach them the meaning of haste.

That is cool. I'm going to say that tonight. To what? Who? Whoever's making the burgers after they just say it in the house. Your cat? You can say it. You can go to McDonald's and be like,

Hi, my name's Jeff. How can I help you? Jeff, I want one quarter pounder and teach them the meaning of haste. And then really quick, pull up to the next window. One quarter pounder. I'm going to McDonald's. I'm going to McDonald's.

I don't fucking know. You're not getting two quarter pounders. Half pound? Both of you We've been to McDonald's together You don't think I can eat two quarter pounders I think you could do a lot of things I think you're getting one quarter pounder

One spicy chicken chicken nuggets And maybe something else That's exactly what I think you're doing I think maybe they got me figured out I think maybe I'm not as smart as I thought I was I'm getting a flay a fish I do that sometimes Oh that's crazy

Just go to Long John Silver's fish I can't for where and those are gone Where do you find one? Yeah, I stopped to grab a point. Wait, I just had like a deja vu. Did we talk about this last I was here? Is that all I talked about? Maybe.

To be real, probably. I bet you there's one in Bismarck or something. Did I say y'all remember Skippers that episode? Yeah. I think that's a P&W institution. Yeah, that's not, that wasn't in Fresno. Skippers was. I think Skippers is only in Washington.

Yeah. We covered that last time. Did they say the R word? I said Fesperno. No, he said Fesno. Oh. You're from Fresno? The San Juano?

The Central Valley. The Central Valley. The, uh, or the football team. The Fresno Bulldogs, yeah. The Gamma Street gang. And the gang, the Bulldogs. And the gang, the Bulldogs, yeah. There's a gang called the Bulldogs, too?

Big gang, big time gang, very dangerous. Wow, were you in it? Uh, no. Oh, no. That's all right. It's okay. I don't want to talk about. You're in the All Fantasy Everything gang now.

Same colors. Same initiation. Yeah. You can keep the tattoo. Let's just sit. Shadow facts. Good horse, dude. Really good.

Crazy name. Fax in there. You know what I mean? I don't even know they had that. Faximile. It would send like a whole paper from A to B. But of a horse. From Mordor to the Shire. If you needed to send a whole page,

you'd go to Mount Doom and find the facsimile. From the town of the river paper. Or a mojo. Did you guys ever have a job where you used to send faxes? Yeah, I did when I worked for medical transportation in Portland. Yeah, at the call center at send faxes sometimes. Ridiculous from like, email them. What's that?

Yeah. It was like a weird. overlap when we were doing it where it's like signatures back when you needed that actual signature you're like nobody no one's checked you can't check a signature it's ridiculous do we still need to sign anything

for real I don't think so yeah I got a paper I got to sign after this but like you can't like you sign it right you serve someone ominous you mean just because it could be so easily counterfeit here yeah nobody yeah no one cares or like when you sign it online

and it's just like that's not my signature You type your name. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do kids learn? Ever I sign anything online, I type David Bory. Kids must learn. I can't even think of the word for it.

No, I didn't get cursive. I think it's cursive. I can't remember. My nephew said he's learning cursive, but I think because he wants to. But he just means fuck, shit, hell. Curseve. Learn how to write it. Sarah, time for your third pick.

I was out of here. Gosh. Oh, Flemex. I thought you were over to order. Dude, I was going to do an aside. Thank you so much. I was going to say, can you cut out all my sniffling? But that's a huge stuff.

Which is why I got you to clean. Don't feel bad about it or anything. No, I don't feel bad at all. I'm just going to leave this here for the rest of the show. You guys reacted as if I'm being very thoughtful. I'm just producing. No, he was like going crazy. Stop sniffing.

No, I can hear it. No, thank you. I was too shy to say anything. Okay, here's, I have a lot to say about this one. Oh, yes. I really want to talk about the Trojan horse. Oh, crap. Good.

Trojan, that's so good. I just saw The Odyssey. I'm not big into mythology and all that stuff, so this was all like kind of for me, for you seeing it for the first time. Oh, very cool. The audacity to name a condom brand. Isn't that crazy?

Progen. Pretty crazy. Because they sneak, the men do all sneak in there undetected, but then they fuck the whole town up. Yeah. And they escape and they take over. Right. They leave the container. Yeah.

Yeah. And ruin everything. So that's the image you want to convey? Yeah? That's crazy. What are we talking about? So yeah, they're going to think it's a condom. But actually, the sperm busts out.

Exactly. That seems like what they're saying. That's exactly what I'm saying. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, I'll take him. I have had my opinions on if the Trojan horse, how many people could really fit in one of them. It was huge, right? Well, the Odyssey, they made it look bigger than they did in Troy.

but still like These two movies? Yeah. But I mean those are the only time We really got to see it I guess And all they needed to do Was to open the gate So the dude for uncut gems could get in

John Bernthal? Oh no, the director Oh that's right That was very safety, right? Playing Agamemnon. Agamemnon. Like a memnon. Were they uncut gems

Because they weren't Jewish? That's right. So they're having a great time today. Are we still having fun? plenty to eat. Having a great time. I need to get my diamonds circumcised. I'll be back after lunch.

Yeah, I like the idea of a jerking horse. You only needed enough dudes in there to bust out and open the gate. So you don't need like a whole army in the horse. You really need like 12 crazy dudes. It looked like, I'm trying to remember in the Odyssey, I had done mushrooms. So this is murder. Awesome. Oh, my gosh.

And my mushrooms. Well, my mushrooms drop hit during the previews for the new Meet the Fokkers movie. That's awesome. So I'm just watching trailers, and then all of a sudden, Ben Stiller's face was like, ugh. And it was like, this is crazy. And then they actually did that to somebody's face. And then it turned out that was actually happening.

Yeah. It seemed like there were like, what, 30 people in the horse? Probably. Yeah, I guess that's enough. They don't have to take the whole place. I bet it's stank in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah, two days?

How long were they in there too? They were barfing and pissing and pooping in there? Yeah. A couple of cob salads. One guy got killed. I don't like the way this conversation's going. It's a fine salad. It fills you up.

Greek mythology.com says anywhere from 23 to 50 people. Okay. That's a big. Greek mythology.com. I bet they thought they were going to be fucking millionaires. Yeah. I bet they thought they were going to be millionaires. And now it's a burden.

Go ahead and buy the house. Sign the papers. Running Greek mythology. Because you're like, well, I got to keep re-upping it. Yeah. I got to keep re-uping Greek mythology.com. But I'm underwater on this thing. I'm upside down.

I got to go to this website. Does it look, does it look well put together? No, not at all. Not at all. No. Yeah. It looks like from the mid-2000s sort of website. A whole one of those ones.

He saw some like newspaper article where it's like whatever, petfood.com, all this stuff. People are making millions of. He's like, what do I love Greek mythology? I have. Do you guys know, actually, maybe I shouldn't, can you bleep his name? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. So we're back in.

David had a fucking killer joke Where he was really good Where Sarah was asking Somebody named Sam And then couldn't remember the last name And David jumped in there with wise gamgee Hilarious We had ourselves a little laugh about it

We did have a laugh We had ourselves a little laugh about it Been having laughs all day Trojan horse It's a great pick In that movie when they're What? I just go to break after this

Oh I will indeed When they're sticking the swords in there I glad they showed that because I'm like, well, why wouldn't they have tried that? I didn't see any other movies. Yeah. But yeah, that's what you do. They're not stupid.

And they get someone and they have to like... And they wipe the sword off? So they got one dude to wipe the sword and one dude to cover his mouth. And they don't tell Elliot Page. So they just get murdered thinking they're like actually sticking up for this thing. And he's hotter than hot hog piss about it when they get to hell. Man. I would be pissed.

Yeah. If you got a chance to talk to someone. Yeah. I'd be pretty upset. What's up, dude? Yeah. And honestly, it wasn't even that much of a dick about it. No.

It was just like, listen to a pissed. Yeah. We're going to take a break, then we're going to get to my third pick. We'll be right back with moral fantasy, everything. God damn, that chumps was good. What flavor of chomps did you get? I don't even know, man. Was it spicy?

Yellow. What's yellow? I think that's how we come back from break. Organic chops commercial. It's just like, it's just like chumps. I think that's like jerky flavored. That's the sounds I made. Turkey, that's a turkey one.

Antibiotic-free turkey. Yeah. Yeah, they're really good, though. I ate it when, you know when you eat it where you're like, like a ho-hm-n-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-chomchchom-chompsky over here? No, I used to, this is an old tweet of mine, but so I'm sorry for recycling it, but it's also just the thought I have. That sounds like a snowboarder's name and not like,

a philosopher's name. Noam Chomsky? Yeah. It sounds like it should be a professional snowboarder. And so somewhere there's probably like a professional snowboarder whose name is like Dr. Richard Greenbaum. Same with Friedrich Nietzsche. Yeah, Friedrich Nietzsche.

His first name was Friedrich. Friedrich. I didn't know that. Yeah, dude. I'm learning all kinds of stuff. Friedrich Nietzsche and Namchomsky. Coming up on the half pipe. Were you thinking about knocking my head off?

It kind of suck your hand and kind of make a move. I could not. I'm not going to, on Yom Kippur, I'm not going to knock your head off. Like you're putting that on Yom. Hey, you should make that new Jewish slang, on Yom. On Yom, dude. On Yom Knaud, dude. I would not do that.

Time for my third pick on Yom. It works. It works. I'm going to take Samson the Shire Gilding. I did a little Googling. All right? I did a little fucking investigative work here. Okay, Samson.

looked up biggest horse ever. I googled the words biggest horse ever. How big was Samson the Shiregelding? Here's something you're looking for. Seven foot two. Three thousand three hundred and sixty pounds. In the middle? His horse is tall as tall as Shaquille O'Neal

and as big as ten Shaquille O'Neal's. This is a big horse and there are pictures of Samson. I ride that horse. He'd look like a, like, no, I got confused. You'd barely be up there. I mean, yeah, you'd be. I got confused. the visual. He looked like an airplane. Can you imagine? I look like, I look like, look at this fucking horse, dude. That's insane. So not even that long ago. There's photos of

Samson-the-Shire Gelding. Looks like a Fernando Brutero painting. Yes, it does. I love Batero. Yeah, who doesn't? There's a picture of a cardinal, not the, not the bird, but like the Pope friend, the Pope assistant. Boy, that the fasting is really starting to hit me. Walking. They don't call it slowing. At the, that's right, goddamn right. At the Vatican, this patero painting of a cardinal, and it's one of the most, I just love it so much. Are you looking it up right now, Isaac?

Oh, my God. Or the horse? The horse. I'm looking up the horse. I have a painting of a naked fat lady smoking a cigarette in my house. That's a bittero. Hell yeah. I'm going to look that up.

Yeah, it's pretty cool. This is Botero. Uh-huh. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. And here's the cardinal. Yeah, look up naked fat lady smoking.

Makes me laugh every time. You have that? No, it's at the Vatican. The Catholic Church has it. But yeah, a 7 foot... 7 foot 2, 3,359 pound horse. And he's yoked too, because horses have to be yoked, dude. They really have to be.

They're not out of shape. It's just an insane horse. And I was like, if I'm going to have a team of horses, I want the biggest horse possible on there. Unit. Good call. I feel like this horse could kick a line. away.

A lion came for this horse. Get out of here, dude. What's a horse defend themselves? They just kicks. I think kicks and bites. Kinks and bites. Stoms. Could a horse outrun a lion, do you think?

Are they faster? They're fast. I wonder if they could change directions fast. They have more endurance, I bet. Because lions can just like sprint, right? They can't do long distance. A lion can go 50 miles an hour. A horse can only go 25 to 30.

But it can go for that whole hour, right? Yeah, for a long time. Man, 27 is how fast Usain Bolt went. And tortoise. I would love to know how fast I could, how many miles per hour I run on average. Zero point six two. That's the fastest. That's the fastest that tortoise can go.

Isaac K. Lee top speed. What about Isaac K. Lee bottom speed? Three hours. Top speed. No recorded top speed. Oh. This is according to muckrack.com. You go Isaac K. Lee Networth.

I love seeing that shit. Isaac Kaylee Networth. Yeah. It says bucephalus. It says chief content officer for Univision. We didn't know that. That's my other job. Whoa.

That's a career. I don't talk about it here, but, you know. Is he allowed to have another job? No. No. I'm breaking all sorts of labor laws by being here. He's barely allowed to have that jacket. Take it off.

Give it to me. Take it off now. What did I take? Oh, yeah, Samson, the Shire Gelding. Just a big-ass horse. I'm into big-ass stuff. I love big-ass stuff. Oh, yeah.

I forget what episode it was when we talked about the biggest statue on the planet. Mm-hmm. You know they kept making statues? Yeah, you guys did an episode of big stuff. Yeah, we did an episode of big stuff. I remember the statue. They got this big-ass statue. It's just great.

I like big stuff. Yeah. Sean? I'm taking the horse in true grit that he rides at the end to save her from the snake bite. Unfortunately, this horse does not make it. But in the remake of her... Oh, the one that he like rides through the night and it collapses. That horse really got him where he needed to be saved.

So I guess a horse will just run until it like physically collapses. Is that nuts to think about? I guess if you're like stabbing it, which is what he does, right? Yes. And if it can't like buck you off. It's not. So will you. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Somebody was doing that and there was a way. When? It's going to happen. So will you soon. So will you. Yeah. You know, he really, he really got her there. He saved Haley Steinfeld.

Yeah. And then we got some pop music out of it. Absolutely. Look how good of a season. Josh Allen's happening. Yep. Josh Allen's doing all right. Yeah.

Are they pregnant? Are they pregnant? I don't know. I think she gave birth. Did you get birth? I think. Got the horse to thank for all that. So I don't know the name of the horse.

I don't think they were. If you had to guess. If you had to name that horse. I've never thought about this. Yeah. You can name a horse anything, by the way. Yeah. It's crazy.

Maxine. You can name a horse full in the head. You only know one name. You just named her after your daughter. Instead of I named my car and my daughter. If you had a son, it would be Max. Max. A million.

Max a million. Ooh. You can name a Bicephalus, dude. You can name it Max a billion. Anybody ever do that? You know what's not cool? You know what's cool? That shut everyone up.

Max a billion. Going lower is so sad. This is just max a thousand. How do you think Max a hundred feel? He's happy. Max a dozen. He's the happiest one. So the horse who got Haley Steinfeld back safely from the snakebite.

And then my fourth pick, there is a place in South Dakota. It's called Devil's Gulch, where allegedly Jesse James jumped a gulch with this horse. It's supposed to be true. But you go there. And if it's true, it's amazing. I've been there. I didn't know the story, though. Been a Devil's Gulch?

I'm from Rapid City. My family's from Rapid City. Do we do this? We did this. We did this. We did this. Yeah. I guess it meant a lot more to me.

Yeah, so Devil's Gulch, you go there and you look across and it's insane to think that they did it. That's beautiful. South Dakota is so fucking beautiful. It was beautiful. But he had robbed a bank and he was being chased and that's how he got away. It looks jumpable. It doesn't look insane. When you're standing there, dude, it's pretty, it's like, I mean, it's probably this whole room, like from the window to the wall, you might say.

Probably had some sweat dripping off his balls. not running a bank robber You're cops I'm not even What are you looking up I'm to divorce a friend Yeah I am

How far can a horse jump 28 feet Woo Is the world record Crazy Because it's probably less than 28 feet 8.4 meter So it couldn't even get you a first down

Sorry we had to cut you on the practice squad We'll Our RB is going to get it there We'll get you up Yeah we'll get you up Jesse James Jump a Devil's Galtz What was the horse's name?

Do you know? I don't. I have no idea. If you had to name that horse What can you call it? The bank robber. Okay. That's a good horse name.

It works. Bank robber. Jesse James is a horse. Better for the Kentucky Derby. But, you know, were they naming horses in the Wild West? Yeah, probably.

People, yeah. You have a horse? You probably name your horse? Yeah, I guess why not? Yeah. Well, that goes one love. It's always my devil's a male. It's always crazy.

when people have animals that they don't name, you always feel like, oh. I've never encountered it. As I say it out loud, I've never even. My friend's grandpa had some dogs with no names. Wait, really? They were just like farm dogs. Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah, I was like, I didn't know you could do that. Oh, that's scary.

Okay. Time for my fourth thick. What have I told you? That I hadn't eaten in almost 20 hours. What if I told you that are the funerals of John F. Kennedy, Herbert Hoover, Lyndon Baines Johnson and General Douglas MacArthur there was one horse leaving the procession

without a rider and it was all the same horse and his name was Blackjack the funeral horse That's the horse I'm taking That last part It was born into that name Black Jack the funeral horse His career was decided for him

Blackjack the funeral horse How do you get that gig and why do you get that gig? I don't know he was just like Blackjack first His name was just Blackjack but he's a funeral horse. He is a riderless horse. He was in the Kaysan platoon of the third U.S. infantry, the old guard.

But yeah, he's a riderless horse, which is a type of horse that they use at funerals, and they put the boots backwards. And I guess the idea is that like, this is a horse reserved for the person who died, and it's like an honorific. And he was that horse. He was such a good riderless horse that he got all those presidents and General Douglas MacArthur. So this is a fucking prestigious

horse. Was he hot? It was hot. He was a pretty hot horse. You gotta be. Very good looking horse. I'll show you blackjack. I wonder if anyone ever wanted to ride him and they're like, no, nobody rides blackjack. I wonder if anyone could ride him, yeah. Is it like, no one's allowed to? No, you're not taking blackjack out. It was nigh on red. Nobody gets on blackjack.

Beautiful horse. Sorry, my screen's so dirty. That's okay. You can tell he's pretty hot. Even still. Windex streaks all over it. Here's an article from the Roanoke Equestrian, Blackjack, a feisty spirit that America loved. Any questions?

Roanoke, Virginia. Yeah. See? The Roanoke equestrian. If I was from there, I'd call it Strohenone. Stroganoff? I'd call it strokenoak. Blackjack.

Blackjack, the funeral horse, is my fourth pick. Sarah, temporary, fourth pick. Okay, this kind of goes back to what we were just talking about. I would like to draft the horse with no name that Neil Young is writing. in that song. Does feel good to get out of the rain. Once you call it a horse with no name, does it then have a name?

Mm-hmm. Then it's the horse with no name. Mm-hmm. It's like calling the band of the band. Yeah. It took me a while to figure out. You know that song? Felt good to be on the rain in the desert.

I said it feels good to be out of the rain. Yeah, you quoted it right. Exactly. I'm here. I haven't had a child. That is some psychotic shit. I have to watch you eat one. Yeah, I chopped it too, man.

To hear someone sing a song and be like, have you ever heard that song? I'm traumatized. I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am or who any of you people are. I haven't eaten for eight hours. More than that. Eight hours, yeah, it's been almost 20.

No, it's been a lot. I haven't eaten, but it's like still not long enough to be this weird. I don't know, man. I feel like you need food more than, like, well, I guess I haven't. No, I ate last night pretty late. What's what no name is by America, though? Is that Neil Young?

Wait. Well, yeah. We're having about the same song. It's the same song. Oh, fuck, I'm going to sneeze. But he's the singer of America? No, I'm not going to sneeze. No, it's a British American folk rock trio.

Look at that. So it's not even Neil Young, it turns out. It's by America. Wait. It's the same song. Wait, did Neil Young do that? Why is my memory that it's Neil Young? On the Wikipedia page, it says the song's resemblance to some of Neil Young.

work around some controversy. So there's... It clearly sounds alike, apparently. He did not write or perform, whoa. This is like Shazam. Yeah. Yeah. Or that, boy, I really blew the fruit of the loom was one of them to...

Sit from the waters of a creek with no name. Is that part of it? You ever heard that song? That's the Neil Young song. I wrote it so fast in my head. Well, you guys were talking. What was doing that? A horse with no name, yeah.

Wow. And it knocked Heart of Gold by Neil Young out of the top 10 or out of the number one spot. Oh my God. So he's got double beef. Interesting. You wouldn't have double beef. You'd have beef, chicken sandwich, and chicken nuggets. Callback.

I'll eat a pound of quarter pounders. Shut the fuck up. That's what you'll eat in a pandup, dude A new way to say it I'm taking your next pick I've never heard it that way No, he really got your ass I'm having a good episode

David David, time for your fourth And then your final picks Oh, donkey when he turns into a stallion Oh I like an underdog Yeah, yeah, yeah Donkey

From Shrek? Oh, from Shrek Yeah Oh, great. Yeah, he turns into a stallion. Yeah, he fucking does. How does he turn into a stallion? They take that potion.

Oh, that's right. Shrek gets hot. That's right. But then Fiona just wants to go back to being Shrek. Yeah. Right. Yeah, short-lived. Doesn't he get boned when he has to go back to be in the donkey?

Yes, I think. I haven't watched that one in a one. There must be a good last in the day. Yeah, I'm sure. The second one. You haven't seen that one in a while. It's because when they go to far, far away. He ends up shacking up with that dragon, right?

Yeah, that's after the first one, though. Yeah. They fucking, they have kids. Yeah, they fucking may have dragon donkey kids, right? Like flying donkeys? I think they go through like a little bit of a slump. Do they? What happens sometimes, even to the greats?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think especially. Once you, like, ride those highs if I'm a dragon having sex with a donkey and vice versa. Yeah. Also in the desert, they can't remember your name. You heard that song? It's a good song.

Bojack Horseman. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. How did I not think of that? One time. Okay, cool. Not my favorite show. Does it stress you out?

It makes me so depressed. It makes me... Is it like a life you worry you could have ended up in? I crammed three of those seasons like in a whatever, like really quick. And when I was done, like after those three, the episode where there's like a boat parked outside of someone's house, I stopped. And I was like, I can't keep watching this. And I don't really get noticed. I'm sure I do

and like my body's algorithm and everything I was like as depressed as I've been for like three weeks because of it No it makes you feel like I can't go back to that Yeah No it's not a great show to watch I'm just picking horses yeah well

To have that effect a good show No it's really good but I can't like that shit It's so fucking bleak man It's so like all the shit with that little girl on the show Doc yeah that shit sucks Yeah I don't know why I picked this That's all right

I mean it's a good Yeah it's a good pick It's a famous horse He's a famous horse He's a famous horse Yeah He can talk And he is hot

Well aren't I thought I always assumed Bojack was hot He gets a lot of Yeah I thought that was like Yeah Yeah You're right

I guess I didn't watch it as well As I thought I did Don't Don't go back You're probably thinking About Blackjack The Funeral Horse The whole time

His name was Blackjack That's a guy You can get it Black Jack the Funeral Horse. Black Jack the funeral horse. Yeah. Powerful friends. Mother called him Blackjack.

I'm going to call him Blackjack. That's right. Isn't that what Howard Cosell said about? Not Howard Cosell. Who said that? It was about... Eddie Murphy said it about Cassius Clay and coming to America. Oh, okay.

Is that what that's from? Is that not something somebody said before? Yeah, he says, I'm going to call him Clay. I'm going to call him Clay. But somebody must have said that before, right? Maybe not? I don't really have a lot of memories before that for that movie. That's kind of where it starts.

Kind of where it starts for me. Sarah, time for your final pick. Oh my gosh. I love this. I'm having so much fun, you guys. We love having you here. You're the best. I love that we all have, like, so many that I didn't think of.

And I have so many more to choose from. Okay. I think this will be my last one. This is actually multiple horses. Is that okay? That's right. Okay. I would like to draft the four horses that the four horsemen of the Apocalypse right in.

There you go. The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria. Santa and Maria. That's what they're called, right? Yeah, yeah. Do the horses have names? No, but they each stand for something. Well, they rode through the desert.

Yeah. Yeah. What do they stand for? Hellfire. Isn't one gluttony? There's a white horse? They're like... Conquest.

Omen's of the end, right? They're like... Yeah, the white horse, the red horse, the black horse, and the pale horse. Oh, behold, the pale horse. Oh, that's right. Johnny Ringo talks about that in Tombstone. What's the difference between the pale horse and the white horse?

Didn't think that one threw the Bible, did you? Brother, if you have to ask, you can for it. Yeah, they symbolize conquest, war, famine, and death. That's really fun to say. Yeah, it's really cool. That's so fun to say. Is it the first time you've heard that? I've never heard that before.

What if she thought I wrote it? Oh, did you not write it? Oh, what? Fuck! God damn it! You're the only one I've ever heard say it? This keeps happening. You've never heard anybody. That's a...

You've got to ask you, you can't afford it? Yeah. But I liked using it in that context. Like, it has nothing to do with... Yeah, I liked the way you used it. Oh, yeah, I use it as a non-sequitur. Is that correct? That's correct.

I couldn't use non-sequitur in a sentence. Sure you could. You just did. Yeah. Oh, I read it did. How do you spell non-sequitor? Twitter. Is it one word? No, it's a well, it's a word with a dash.

Yeah. Gotcha. You could smell it if you tried. You can smell it if you try. Oh, I was thinking, you can smell it if you really want it. Yeah, I turned it into a Sly in the Family Stone. Oh, I was doing Jimmy Cliff. Yours is better. Yours is accurate.

You ever watch the harder they come? No, but I have that album. Oh, man. That soundtrack is one of the greatest soundtracks of, I like Johnny Too Bad. Johnny are too bad. Walking down a ride with a fist of in your hand. Johnny are too bad.

Should we draft? David and I singing that album? Yeah. We should just sing songs from the harder they come soundtrack. Pressure drop more pressure. That song's good too. That song's so good. And the harder they come is a good song.

That's a great song too. I think you would love that song the harder they come. What song were we just singing? We were singing Johnny Too Bad. Okay. Pressure drop. But you would like the harder they come. Okay.

Because it sure is the sun will rise. Gonna get your share of what's mine. And that's something you say every day. I wake up and I say it to myself. I watch a recording of me saying it. I'm going to make us listen to it as soon as we get in the car. I'm going to listen to on the way home. I forget who I am every morning.

Now I'm going to drive you somewhere for lunch. Don't ask where. It's damn near dinner. Time for my fourth pick. I wish it was damn. I'm near dinner. Dinner's a long way off. Fifth pick is what I should have said.

There's a lot of great horses still on the board, and there's so many great horses. Of course my horse. Of course, of course. But of course my horse. And I'm going to take, out of respect for a fallen soldier, Artax.

The horse. Which one's Artax? Artax is the horse from the never-ending story. Oh, sure. I got stuck in the muck. Yeah. I never saw that one. Yeah.

An allegory for getting stuck in the muck. one of the saddest scenes. You guys, these two, right here on this couch, a little too young. The never-ending story. You've seen a never-ending story, haven't you? I haven't seen a never-ending story. I haven't seen a never-ended. Oh, yeah? I don't think I'm too young, I just think I'm not well-rounded. Where it's a dog? Yeah. Falkor, right?

Falkor, but the horse is Artax. The horse gets stuck in the swamp. Oh, the native boy rides him. And it is very, very sad. Very sad. I haven't seen Never-ending story in a long time. I don't remember that movie used to scare me. I wonder if it holds up. way that I want it to. I tried to watch it as an adult and I

couldn't get into it. Probably different. Okay, yeah. All of them have scared me though as a little kid. Yeah, things are scary. You know what scared me was hocus pocus. Oh, really? Scared the shit out of me. Especially that lady who was going to eat the little kids. The Witches of East, or was it the Witches of the Eastwood? With Angelica Houston?

Where they turned into mice or turned people into mice? Oh, that's the witches, right? The witches. Because that's based on the Rawl doll book? Yeah. I remember I like that book, though. Yeah. Roll doll. Great author. Rolled dog.

Big anti-sumby. There's a podcast, like a five-part podcast about his life, and it's fascinating. Yeah. Really? It's so fascinating. He was very tall and handsome, and he worked for the, what's the British intelligence? To the OS? Yeah. Whoa.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He went to when he went to Atlanta and wrote James in the Giant Peach. He wouldn't. We're having a good time.

We're having a good time. We're having a good time. He's got the full green light in my house And my wife is a little less forgiving Of rampant anti-Semitism than I am But he's such a good author that like, I'm already back on Condia. I can't stay away.

But like, Roll Dahl, we're just like, whatever. You don't need to like us. Thanks for the books. I didn't know anything about him. He has an insane pass. Yeah. He was in a plane crash. Who crashed the plane?

Is that where this came from? He crashed the plane. And he was so tall that the front of the plane didn't cover his head. all the way, so I can't, I'm not going to tell this story. He crashed his own plane? Yeah, in the war. Yeah, in the war. I don't know why I said it like that. Yeah. The war. Yeah, David, it was in the war. The war.

The war. The great war? The band, the war. Oh, he was six six. He should have hooped. He played small for the Pacers. Yeah, but there was only a certain kind of people playing basketball back then. All guys. Anti-Semites. No. No.

That's never been what that game's about Yes What the fuck are we talking about Our tax Yes Yes Such a good way to get it back home Yes

Artax the horse Neverending story Shout out to it Isaac I want you to watch it tonight Full report Full report tomorrow morning Okay Sean Jordan, time for your final pick?

Sean, can I go blow my nose before you give your final pick? Because I want to be, like, so fresh and ready for the end. But I'm dying over here. I'll be back, I'll be back, I'll be back. Keep it rolling. Keep it rolling. We're going to roll. Let's just sing that song.

What are you guys going to... Walking down the road with a pistol in your hand. Johnny are you too bad. Gonna run my man and something, and a number another, Johnny and too bad. Bad, too bad. One of these days you're going to hear the voice that come

Now you're too bad. This is... This sounds exactly how it is. And this is music? No. You never, you should see the movie. It's about a Jamaican guy named Ivan. A Jamaican guy named Ivan. That's what the movie's about.

Oh, my dad doesn't see that movie. Yeah, Ivan. You got to see the movie. His name's Ivan. Is it a good movie? Yeah, it's pretty good. Okay, I want it. Jimmy Cliffs in the movie.

That's right. Yeah. What movie? The Heart of They Come. Now let me double check that his name was Ivan. My dad's name is Ivan. Oh, was. He was named after the heart of they come.

Was and is. He was named after the Heart of They Come. Let me see. Yeah, his name is Ivan. Yeah, Ivan becomes an anti-establishment symbol. Yeah, it's pretty good. And then the scene when he's recording it is so cool. And he's smoking one of those joints, you know, when they smoke it where they put it in their fingers like this?

Yeah. And then he's going. like this a lot. Does he? It's pretty awesome. I'm about to watch this movie. Maybe that's the next watch along. No.

Okay. I'm just throwing shit out. It's just you in your house. You can get it if you really want it. You went crazy on that fucking song. Rivers of Babylon on it too? Many rivers to cross. Here the songs as they were meant to be sung.

This is your karaoke birthday. I forget that song. I first heard that song on a sublime album. them. Me too. Where they covered it. I didn't. It's good.

It's good. We heard Sanaria the other day playing in some brewery in Detroit and Kyle's like, I like Sublime. I go, yeah, man, I do too. There's nothing to apologize for it. I have a lifelong, unblemished record of loving Sublime. Now the kids are wearing the t-shirts. Carmel.

Are they back again? Yeah, they're touring again, but who's their singer? It's Brad Noel's kid. Yeah. Oh, no kidding. And he sounds exactly like him. Thank God. Thank God.

Same way that ODB's kid wraps exactly like him. Wow. It's nuts to see. When are the ICP kids going to get together and be the second generation of climate? ICP babies. I seep still rocking. They don't need the kids. They are still playing.

Also, I don't think Shaggy has any kids. Now, this is an ICP man. I like ICP. I think they're hilarious. Yeah, I listened to ICP. My sister and I were talking about ICP on our backpack trip, and then she came home and she bought an ICP sweatshirt. But it was so deep of a cut ICP reference that people don't understand what she's

wearing. Is it a chicken button? It's, I can show you the shirt. It's actually not that bad of a call to have it be a deep cut so people don't know what it is. This is a fucking half juggalo podcast right now. I did the song, Homies.

Juggalo. No, Homies. Homies. They have gone back and apologize. They have gone back and apologized for past lyrics. I don't know much, but I got to assume when you hit your first night and the homies was in the living room. Terrible scene they painted there.

I hate to tell you this. It makes me look like a bad guy. It wasn't the lyrical content. It wasn't the lyrical content. That's not what was scared me off. I was listening to other stuff when they were saying things. I do like it when he says, me and my homies stay connected like zippers on a Michael Jackson Beattie Jacket.

In that same song. That's pretty good. That's probably the best line they have. Guys, they were smart. They're still smart. They're live. They're so smart. They're rich.

But I love ICP. Is that what we're drafting? We're drafting ICP songs. I'm probably going to play that song in the car too. We could. Hey, I'm. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Sean, your final pick?

Those little horses that you put a quarter in at the grocery store. and running a ride for a while. Quarter horses. I believe that's what the term is. Is that really? No. Quarter horse. Yeah, okay, yes.

They're gone, right? I don't see them anymore. You barely see them ever. I saw one in Santa Monica a couple weeks ago. I don't know if it was operational. These kids with their screens now, what are you going to put them on a shape horse? I know.

They'd be mad about it. They'd probably got them some small town. They probably got one in Zigzag or something. What? I make Arthur sleep on one. Put a little quarter in. Wait, is Zigzag a real town? Yeah.

Oh, I thought you were just saying stuff. Up towards government camp. Down by Govy. It was a government camp, Oregon. Is this a hallucination? Boring. That's very real. You know, boring's real.

Drain. Drain. Drain? Yeah. Weed. So funny. So fucking funny. Aloha, but they say Aloha for some reason.

Aloha. Because it's Aloha. It's a little bit. It's a different thing. You know the horse you put the quarter in and then it kind of moves for a while? You know Tarzana's named after Tar. Because the actor who played Tarzan bought all that land and turned it into that city. That's why it's called Tarzana.

I'm 50-50 on whether this is a bit or not. 100% true. Whoa. Yeah. Tarzana. It's about Tarzanana, Arquette. Tarzan. Yeah, that's right. Tarzanahna is named after Tarzan. It's not a different thing.

One time I danced with Rosanna Arquette in a music video. Okay. I don't know who that is. I'm so sorry. Looked off into space. And there was that. That's the end of the podcast. No, no.

Okay. The whole podcast. Those little rocking horses. There was one in that, who's that lady who did the, uh, put my headphones on song? Pink. No. She's Jewish. Addison Ray.

Didn't you be canceled recently? She didn't. Not for being Jewish. It was related. I don't know why. I regret this whole riff. To be very clear, it's not because of Jewish. I regret this whole riff.

She, it was, she said that it was. She said that Maclemore shouldn't have been talking about Palestine in his show. I regret the roof. Yeah. So she is Jewish, but not all of us think that. And some of us think it's good that he was. Maybe we would have preferred that it wasn't McLemore. That has nothing to do with the issue at hand.

I just want a real love. Do pink quotes to get on this. I'm just coming up so you better get the party started. Domana, man with the Jing Ching. I got my own thing. Let's go get in a fight. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. So, uh-oh, I got...

Oh, yeah. So, like, I'm still a rock star. That's because she wasn't married to a metal militia guy anymore. Pink. She's like, there's, we, I don't know if we have enough time to really unpack everything about pink. What a weird. The haircut? All of that?

It's crazy that she ever got famous than the arrow? stuff she did too. I don't know if I'm making any sense right now. You are. You are. And I am, okay, this is all coherent. I should not fast and then do the podcast

ever again. But I'm gonna. Every time we record now. I'm not getting into Wednesday. He just does it tomorrow. I'm fucking take that, dude. Guess what I'm doing. I'm back.

I'm even hungry. And I'm on crystal meth this time. All right. To recap, David, you went first. You took Spirit, Stallion of the Simmeron, Sea Biscuit, Shadow Fax, donkey from Shrek and Spojack Horseman.

So all of you are going to start with S. Sarah, another name that starts with S. What's my mom's name? That's the fucking accident. That's so nice. With an H or no age? Age.

Bill from Lord of the Rings. The horse from Equis that Daniel Radcliffe has sex with. The Trojan horse from the Odyssey. The horse with no name who I have sex with. The horse with no name. name from the song by America

and the four horses of the apocalypse. I went third. I took Bicephalus, Man of War, Samson the Shire Gelding, Blackjack, the funeral horse, and Artax. Sounds like a barbershop quintet. Me, me, me, me, me,

Sean, you went last, you took Mr. Ed, the red and snippy horse, the true grit horse, Jesse James's horse, and those little rocking horses at grocery stores. Yeah, man. Isaac, do you have one? Sure, I'm going to take half of Forenzi the centaur from Harry Potter. Oh.

But the latter, just the lower half. Just the bottom. And then who's your top half? Classic Isaac. Can you pick another horse as your top half? Oh, is there a different, is there a horse? Is there a half horse? A horse with man legs?

Minotar. Minotar is a, I think it's an ox head. A bull. Is it a bull? Yeah. Oh, there's no horse head. No. Man bottom.

Not yet. Not yet. Not unless Mike Pence has the courage. So you just drafted legs? Just the legs, you know. That's half a pick. Yeah, that's all you need. That's where all the horsepower comes from.

Yeah. All this pull on, I got horsepower. We left some good horses on the board. Although I was just, oh, no, I didn't. Sea? Yeah, Seahorse for sure. She horse. Oh, yeah, I had that.

The white horse you get from the snow area in Red Dead Redemption 2. That's a good horse. Heroin? Heroin? Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Basketball game. Play?

Black Beauty, we didn't even touch. Didn't even touch Black Beauty. Did you guys know who Clip Clop is? Clip Lop's new shoes? It was one of those little golden books from when we were kids. I wanted to bring up Clip Lop and people said no one knows who that is. I didn't know who. Where did you counsel?

Where do you take these? You talk about talking to other people. I talked to one other person and I listen to whatever they said. People. Please let me say people I need to You have friends More friends

Clip Clop I don't know about clipclop And I won't look into it He gets new shoes Horse play Forbidden by a pool Oh yeah Horsing around

Yeah Bullseye from Toy Story Bullseye from Toy Story Secretariat was the horse That didn't get drafted Who is a Who's like considered The greatest

There is the Secretariat's Belmont Steaks run How far ahead Secretariat is Is nuts It's like one of the craziest things you'll ever watch. It would be a fun

feeling if you were jockeying Secretariat. Yeah. I think it would be scary because you're like, did I break the rules? Did I cheat? Because you look back and it's like, it's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Is it like the other horses were scared or Secretary is just that strong? I think... Secretary paid him off.

Well, that's the rumor. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if about horses other than it was like mad far ahead. The other thing I know. is that we love you, the listener. Shout out to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon, where you can get mailbag episodes, this or that episodes,

auction drafts. Yeah. We need to do one of those. Yeah, like next Monday night probably. Monday or whatever, whatever. Those are just some examples of days. Just one example of days. I mean it when I do that.

I'm like, why the fuck didn't you wait 30 seconds and say that? You've never done anything wrong and everybody loves you. Thank you. You're good guy. Me. Shot to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Subreddit. Shout out to our super producer, Isaac Kay Lee, on the ones and the twos on the clippities and on the cloponies. That's right.

Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to our guest, Sarah Naiman. Yeah. You rule. Thanks, guys. Cobb Salons and karaoke for all. Let's hit it. Shout out to Frankie O'Shush.

Shout to Sid the dude. Shout to Haju Beats. I'm more important than all of that. Tune again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Chicagoity. HeadGum podcast.