All Fantasy Everything - Houses from Movies (w/ Megan Gailey, David Gborie & Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: September 17, 2020

The movies have given us a whole bunch of desirable domiciles, but which ones are the best? Karms, Sean, David and comedian Megan Gailey draft Best Movie Houses. Drafting some houses for the homies.Episode Guest:Megan Gailey @megangailey IG: @bettermegangaileySponsors:Feals: Become a member and get 50% off your first order with free shipping at feals.com/allfantasy.MyBookie: Use promo code ALLFANTASY and double your first deposit.Hawthorne: Go to Hawthorne.co and use promo code ALLFANTASY for 10% off your first purchase.Manscaped: Get 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code ALLFANTASY.Support the Show:Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some merch at teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] on All Fantasy Everything with Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all fantasy everything. The podcast that fantasy drafts the entire world. Everything from birds to condiments and anything in between that the imagination can conjure. On this episode, we're drafting houses from movies with our guest, Megan Gailey. You may know her, a wonderful comedian, from her performances on The Tonight Show and Comedy Central.

With me, as always, are my co-hosts, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's hear that wonderful theme music. Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything the podcast that re-upped on candles yesterday and the house is smelling proper. It is smelling proper, my friends. Yeah, what'd you get? He got good. He showed. Those are good. Those are good. I dip-ticked it up, dude. I got the feu de bois. Oh, feu de bois. The thing is, I didn't even know

that there was like a candle hierarchy until I moved to LA and a rich person gave me a candle and another rich person saw the candle and was like, where'd you get that? I'm like, what? And they complimented you on the rich kid. James Corden gave me a Gucci candle. Can you even burn it? Do you even feel good about you burned it? Oh, I burnt it. Yeah. Did it, what did it smell like? It smells so good. It's like lightly floral and like, it comes in like a porcelain

container that has a dragonfly on the top of it. But I didn't know Gucci made candles. I thought candle companies made candles, but now I find out all these, all these fashion houses. And I think Versace, I think Versace does that too. There was a house on million dollar listing that would, or maybe it was selling Sunset and it was like Versace everything. Like they had Versace like toilet paper covers. Versace toilet paper covers sounds like a 2 Chainz album.

That is so luxurious. It's also how I made my first million. If I wanted a Versace shirt, what am I dropping? $800. A shirt? A button down? Or a t-shirt? I don't know sure i'd button down button down i bet two grand yeah jesus t-shirts like eight hundred dollars that's why armani exchange got so poppin because you could get that armani at the at a reasonable price everybody knew it was

the exchange they knew it was the exchange everybody knew it was the exchange. They knew it was the exchange, right? Everybody knew it was the exchange. You're at the Arby's with me. I'm not thinking that's a real Armani t-shirt, sir. You got horsey sauce on that. It wasn't a big deal. Yeah, nobody in Armani t-shirt eats a big Montana. I didn't write it.

That's just the rule. Nobody in Montana has a Versace shirt. I bet you that's true. I bet you that's true. No way, dude. There's some rich motherf. Nobody in Montana has a Versace shirt. I bet you that's true. I bet you that's true. No way, dude. There's some rich motherfuckers in Montana. Oh, that's like one of the richest places because there's no rules there. Isn't there no speed limit?

Yeah. So they can just haul off in their fucking run over as many people as they want. Let me take you on a ride real quick. So we were driving through Montana when I was fresh out of high of high school knowing that country knowing there wasn't a speed limit and we were going like 120 probably downhill with the wind like we were doing everything we could to get us going as fast as we could and we got pulled over and like we were like why'd you pull us over and he goes don't you think maybe you're going a little too fast and we were like well there's there's not a speed limit dog and he uh i don't think he gave us a ticket but he was

like you guys need to keep it in check and we're like make a fucking speed limit then like that's insane to me god you were the worst kind of teen this will be the only time this will be the only time you hear me say this uh on this podcast side with a cop on this one yeah because you know he was being a dickhead you know they were going backwards at 140 like, oh, make a speed limit then, dork. But if you're the highway patrol cop in Montana, you've done something really fucked up to get that post. Like, you actually don't have any jurisdiction.

You can't do anything. That is for like the biggest loser paul blart on the planet they just give him a car and say yeah go try and yell at a long-haired fucking loser teenager if you can there's no there's no consequences you have basically no power go have fun just go catch these six skateboarders in a jetta we got pulled over going to um cj and i got pulled over going to utah and the cop honestly came up and he seemed apologetic like he walked up he's like hey guys sorry about that like you could tell he was like not a good month okay um but you were going he gave us like a redo cj was going 25 over he goes i'm gonna write it for five

like he really was coming to us like i don't know if you've seen the news it's not going great for me so i'm here to hook you up looks bad for cops cj was going 25 over yeah it's utah though it's like you got to get through it they got the salt flats there yeah this was still in california we weren't even out of the state. A California cop did that. A California cop. Wow, they're out here trying to not get defunded. He was kind of hot.

He was a hot, nice cop. I know, guys. Get that guy out of here. He killed a cop and he's doing something. That wasn't a cop. That's copaganda. That's copaganda for sure. They're running that dude out there.

I rolled down the window and I said, fuck you to your hot face, but no, I didn't. I didn't. Fuck you, hot cop. Fuck you, hot cop. It's that kind of podcast. It's the kind of podcast that says, fuck you to hot cops. All cops.

Geez, for God's sake, we got Sean Jordan here with his long hair and his two new cats. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on the gram. Sean Kittens Melon Jordan in real life. Two kitties, man. Birdie Sicko and or no, Betty Sicko and Birdie Kitty. You forgot the names. Well, I.

Is that a juggalo cat? Did you make your cats juggalo? I think you did. She's had a bloody nose since we got her. So we were going to call her Sicko. And then I also because she's a wicked clown. I don't want people thinking we're calling her sicko mode. I don't want that.

Why? I don't know. I just, I don't know. You're okay with a constant ICP references that David's been making? I love ICP. Almost an unargued ICP reference as though it were true. Have you thought of

naming her after just like a really, really famous coke head? With the bloody noses? Like I'm thinking like a candle or something? This is our cat, Michael Irvin and Daryl Strawberry. This is our cat, most of the people in this industry.

This is our cat, Don Jr. And Did you say Meryl Strawberry? Dude, Meryl Strawberry. That's a whole other world. That's a different guy. That's a guy in my opinion. Meryl Strawberry. Meryl Strawberry.

You don't laugh at Meryl Strawberry. Daryl was bad. Dude, Meryl Strawberry. Dude, I remember getting Daryl was bad dude meryl strawberry dude i remember getting daryl strawberries fleer uh like the fleer card that had like their their pro image on it i was so pumped not nothing funny about that i'm just saying i got a dope football or baseball it was a whole story beginning middle end i have a daryl strawberry batting practice jersey that i wear around the house sometimes when i want to feel nasty you know when i want to feel like i got some strawberries do you have some strawberries yeah we're at the

later half of strawberry season but boy they're good right now yeah man i've been i've been i gotta get back on my fruit game though those peaches really fucked me up david od on peaches oh you had just so many and now worth it worth it Do you think you could even have a nectarine or you got to leave that whole family? No, I'm out on the fam. I'm out. So let's just go to berries. Yeah, I keep some, you know, I keep some blueberries in there for breakfast with oatmeal and whatnot. Yeah, I'll be all right.

Yeah. Are you still eating breakfast? All right. Sean's off breakfast. That's his big news. Yeah, dude. That's a big thing. I missed dude. That's his big thing. I failed on breakfast a while ago.

What prompted you guys to get cats? You were just like, let's get some fucking cats? I didn't get a text, and I feel a little bit hurt. Yeah, he really didn't bring it up until the fucking stream started, which is kind of weird. No, we were texting the other day, and I sent you guys a picture of me with a kitty,

but nobody referenced it, and we were kind of having a serious conversation. You did not. I swear to God I did. I didn't send a picture of you with a cat. Look at our text. I never saw a picture of you with a kitty but nobody referenced it and we were kind of having a serious conversation not i swear to god i did i didn't take a picture of you with a cat look at our i never saw a picture of you with the cat you texted you said that to me and ian take them out of airplane mode and look at your text messages right now bullshit i promise you promise you i feel blessed that sean did actually show me his cats and we talked about that interesting interesting that's a very

interesting thing are you fucking kidding me i showed these no i'm kidding you i showed these two he's right i don't have it at all i don't have it at all we were in the middle of a pretty serious conversation and i sent that before like the second before i got serious and i was like oh oh okay i do have it and then we didn't talk about it i wasn't gonna be like also i got some kitties also that cat looks way older than a kid that's the one with the bloody nose that's michael irvin oh yeah i had just texted you a picture of me wearing a heart monitor and then you were like and i have a cat like that's what the that's what the video was i took that really odd picture messaging time like he sent it and yours got sent right before his got there.

And that is a big... I'm one of those people. Ian's like, I got a heart monitor and I was like, yeah, this cat won't stop nibbling at my toes when I try to take a nap in the day. So I feel your pain. I get it, man. I fucking get it. David Borey is here. CoolGuyJokes 77 on Instagram. The G is

silent on Twitter. Fresh cut on the dome. Yeah, you look good. Looking clean, dude. Shout out to Jordan Temple from Let Me Use His Barber. We also got COVID tests. Had us a good little day. That's cute. That's a cute day.

You look harder than I've seen you look. I don't know what you want me to say to that. I feel hard looking at how beautiful you look Yeah your hair looks really good Did he do your beard too? No that's just been That looks nice

That's just stress I think it looks nice It's not too long The trick is it doesn't get any longer Perfect It just fills out I think this is as big as it's I don't know where else it would go.

Well, farther out. I think it's down. I think it would fluff out. Maybe. We'll see. I have no plans on cutting it. People at the park seem to like it. Are you wearing a white sweatshirt? No, it's just a long-sleeved shirt.

I will say it has too short on it oh hell yeah it's a too short it's a too short t-shirt it's a too short t-shirt the shirt is not too short no the shirt i'm also wearing those i'm also wearing those sierra leone shorts i got so weirdly wearing all white on accident hell yeah that's That's never an accident. It is for real. It is. Okay. If your beard gets any longer, I would like to see you come out of a body of water.

I just want to say that. You know what I mean? Like, I have no idea you're there. And then you just like come out of it and just like glistening. And then like the beard is dripping water. The beard gets so it's so reflective. Yeah. It's so reflective. Yeah.

It's so reflective. It gets, it gets a sheen to it, right? Beards are fucking. Yeah. It gets a sheen. I also put Jamaican black castor oil on it. It's a whole regimen. It's not, that's not, it's a whole thing.

I know that guy. I know Jamaican black castor oil. Oh yeah. Watch out. Yeah. Yeah. Don't say it three times. You know what I mean?

He never said yes that guy no to you that dude came jamaican black castor oil came to my house and uh just stared down the squirrel in my backyard just to let it know just to kind of let it know what time it is you know what i mean and the squirrel's been staying out of the bird feeder since then i saw a squirrel jump in the air like an hour and a half ago, and it was crazy. Just from the ground up? So I was walking past it, and it came up to a tree like it does, but instead of scurrying up the tree, it just jumped flat ground to the side of the tree. I had never seen it. Wow.

And I was like, hey, squirrel. I was listening to Young Dolph, and then I walked off. That's the whole story. It affected the way you approach squirrels, as Young Dolph, and then I walked off. That's the whole story. It affected the way you approach squirrels, as Young Dolph will. Yeah, and that kind of leads me to here. That's pretty much what I've done here. Do you have anything you want to direct people towards? Anything going on?

Not at all. I'm even weary to say it Out loud because I don't want to Jinx how good they're doing But you know Yeah but I don't want to say it I just want to let it I just gotta be hands off Cause last year

I feel like I said it a lot What happened last year I don't know What ended up happening last year on the playoffs Remember what happened last year David David, to the note? We were felled by a lesser team of sorts, but we're back at the same spot. We were. You don't remember what happened.

Obviously, that's not what happened. You're a basketball fan. You enjoy hoops. You see what they're doing here? Yeah. And the thing is, the Pacers just got swept. And I'm trying to stay hands off the wheel. Yeah.

Listen, there's enough bad. We don't need to turn on the only thing we love. So it's like when the Pacers got swept, I'm like, they wanted to go home. They wanted to go home. They wanted to go home. And you know what? I'm happy for them that they get to go home now. That's like what you tell a child happens to like their dead animal.

Well, Mr. Crackers wanted to go home. I'm having to convince myself. Philip Rivers is still good. Okay. So there's a lot of mental manpower cranking in between these ears right now. And it's taking everything. I'm like, I think he's still going to be good.

I think all I needed was an offensive line. Other Colts fans are telling me that's bad. They're telling me I'm crazy. You just needed a change of scenery. You need to get away from the kids and like, he said, how do I go someplace whiter and more Christian? And the Colts said,

boy, do we have a place for you? Welcome to nap town. Do they call it nap town? They do i mean we call naptown there was a i have i said this there was a band called the nap or you know like a rap group called the naptown writers oh i have told you told me that and i've told other people that you said that specifically it's just like megan gailey's pretty cool now i, I mean, I did just say a band or a rap group. A band of rappers.

So I don't know if I'm that cool, but I do know the Naptown Riders. With a Z or? No, I think S. I think S is. It should have been like three Zs to really capitalize on the Naptown part of it. You know what I mean? Or like a YDA type of situation oh yeah yeah yeah rye does then with disease i like rap groups that go by their initials uh like like icp stuff

like that i like a rap group that just goes by initials yeah we heard you named your clown your cat wicked psycho or some shit yeah i'm gonna call your cat your clown by the way that's for sure betty sicko two more clowns that joined the joker circle or whatever the fuck you call it megan you want to see something cool i made an icp diorama hold on oh my god wow now i made this at the beginning of quarantine it's an icp diorama that's so great. That is really nice. Megan, you're so good. I know. I mean, I was a nanny.

I'm good at being like, that is beautiful. That is beautiful. That is so great. More like an ICP diarrhea. Megan Gailey is here as well. Megan Gailey on Twitter, Megan Gailey on Instagram as well, I think. Better Megan Gailey on Instagram. Better Megan Gailey, that's right.

Fuck the other Megan Gailey's. That's right. Don't believe the imposters. Go right to the main source. Megan Gailey, the Victor Oladipo talking to the people. Yeah. Oh, look at that. Out of that on the drive over. Oh, Vic. Beautiful

voice. Very sensual over. Oh, Vic. Beautiful voice. Very sensual songs. Of an angel. Of an angel. Not a bad run for either of our teams, though. I mean, it was, you know, for the whole season. I know. It's just tough.

Considering the injuries? I know. The injuries were tough. I'm really sad about Nate, too. I am, too. I really loved him. And I have a feeling. I feel like Vic is not long for Indianapolis.

You think he's out? I think he may be out. You think they're going to trade him? Or do you think he leaves up his own accord? No, I think he's going to be like, I want to go someplace else. You know what? I mean, I think you guys are fans of teams that are in more woke fan bases. But you see the Pacers and you see the Colts post things. I think you guys are fans of teams that are in more woke fan bases, but I,

you see the Pacers and you see the Colts post things and then you see the comments and you're like, Oh my God. And so then I'm like, listen, I'm taking my blue check Mark and I'm commenting. Love you. Blue hearts, Vic for the people.

God bless the Colts. God bless the Pacers. And guess what? That goes right up to the top. And I want all these hillbillies to look at my blue check mark and to look at my positive reinforcement I'm giving. I just don't know. I mean, these NFL players are out here being like, hey, if you don't want us to not get killed, can you not be our fan anymore? Like, it's just mind boggling. It's insane. Yeah. And so I almost am like yeah if I was Vic

I'd be like I'm good You can send me anywhere Portland itself is woke but the outlying areas are like very just like that There was a guy driving down Woodstock the other day with one of those giant fucking trucks

and the giant Trump legs He turned into my neighborhood and I was like where's this fucking piece of shit going and i followed him and i got like so i followed him and i saw where the truck was parked and i was like fuck you and i turned around because i didn't want to drive by it but i was now i'm furious because i know where he lives and that's you know it's just such a bad road to go down i'm like what am i doing but yeah your your revenge fantasy put on that fucking icp makeup dude i'm gonna call up the punisher real quick and just go full wicked clown a wicked clown on his ass bring your bring your clown cats and let them shit all over his

yard yeah this is betty sicko playboy i think cat poop is like toxic i want to shove it down someone's throat even worms dude tie your cat's tails together and use the nunchucks on them dude but put the clown makeup on them yep they outlawed that in the 70s for a reason nunchucks with claws dude that'd be deadly yeah yeah fucking megan deadly dude that's what we're talking megan the megan bay the the megan gailey bubble machine is your new youtube show you want to. Do you want to tell the people about that? Because I think our listeners especially would really dig it. You know what, guys?

In my 30s, I said it's time to do a YouTube show that no one asked me to do. I understand. I started skating again a lot, so I get it. I do it in my backyard. It's been so hot that I've been wearing bathing suits for all of them. I think people think I'm trying to be hot. I'm not. My husband is helping me film the show, but I'm just out there trying to not have my face so sweaty. And we're talking sports. We talk hard knocks. I definitely shit on a lot of people. It's really the only thing bringing me joy right now.

um it's really the only thing bringing me joy right now so if you if if you like tv at all i think you'll like it i do these these comedy these comedy outlets won't let us be funny about sports on their networks so it's how you it's how you have to do it and i think it's great that you're doing it thank you yeah i mean it's like where if i can't make fun of frank caliendo in peace um while he while he's in a raiders hat trying to make the raiders team it's like this is he loves that gig he loves that gig that's why i like as i've been watching this hard knocks i'm like i bet sean mcveigh loves sebastian maniscalco 100 100 did you see when he was telling that story about the fight? Where it was like, bro, that was a Maniscalco story. And then he's over here, and then I'm here, and then I'm here.

And then he's feeling all of my tears. And I'm like, I don't know. This guy's an animal. So I'm like, listen, we had Frank last year. We need to get whoever the head coach's favorite comedian is. I want featured on hard knocks. Yeah. That's got to be at least a mini arc.

And listen, if that means we're getting some puppets in there, that's fine. I want to see it. No, you're getting some puppets in there sometimes. I want to know. I want to know who Frank Reich's favorite comedian is. I mean, that's the puppets. I think. I hope not.

I hope Frank's a little woker than that. Frank Reich loves just, or than that. Frank Wright loves that spicy jalapeno pepper Jeff Dunham has. He likes that other puppet one that you see on Netflix who's cleaner than Jeff Dunham. Who's that one? Terry Fader.

That's Philip Rivers' favorite. He doesn't even know who Jeff Dunham is. He's like, another puppet guy he's so deep in the fader verse dude yeah he just i love that sweet potato i think that's a funny sweet potato he goes that's his respite he goes down to his basement he's making a puppet he's like i don't know it's stupid i don't know it's made stupid i'm never gonna do it but like i've made a puppet like i don't know i wrote some jokes i don't know oh my god he's got like a little

puppet theater down there he's got a little The Rivers puppet theater. He's got refreshments for you sitting there. I mean, whatever you want to sit on, that's fine. I mean, the thing is, that's why he had so many kids. Each of them can portray a different puppet for him. Right. That's a good point. It's a built-in audience, too.

Now I'm going to have kids. Yeah. Get your fader factory cranking. Yeah. The fader factory. That's what i actually told the doctor why are you here well i just got health insurance and i want to get my fader factory cranking you know just check me out just let me know let me know about it uh so people should check that out is there anything else you want to steer people towards? You do all sorts of stuff. Oh, yeah. You know what? CJ and I have a podcast together.

Gosh, I feel like we are, it's called The Greatest, and we also pick, you know, our favorites within any given topic, but we don't draft them like you guys. So we do have overlap. Yeah, well, tell that to the lawyer. Tell that to our attorney. And people. Furious J our attorney. And people. Furious J. Stiles Esquire.

Yeah. People comment that I'm really mean to my husband. So if you're into that type of stuff. Yeah. About a woman just shaming her husband for saying Tom Thibodeau is a good coach. Then I think you would love our podcast. He is not a good coach. coach, then I think you would love our podcast. He is not a good

coach. I mean, it's people bring that pickup to me all the time. They're like, is CJ okay? Has he ever watched basketball? He invented a defensive system 10 years ago that everyone else stole, and now he's got nothing. He's got

no idea. It's like saying AFE's a good podcast when you guys stole our bit you know i mean you took it it's been you've done it better right as someone who's been on both podcasts no that's all i had to say oh you know what someone once commented oh this was great they said i came for the david bori and then i had to leave when i found out these people did molly at their wedding and i'm like you must not know David Borey. You didn't come for the

David Borey if that's why you left. I'll tell you that right now. I've done hung out with David Borey more than a couple times. Okay, well, kindly see yourself out and David's going to ask you to do the same. We talk about doing Molly on this podcast so much that I feel weird about it.

But I'm like, I don't do as much. I don't do Molly anymore. And I don't do as much as I make. I make it sound like I'm here. That's a that's fucking wild. That's hilarious. It's not even my drug of choice. I'm just here for the culture.

Yeah. As you guys know, I usually end up like having to be like, all right, I got to go away for 10 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. I got to I got to chug. I got to chug a fucking. Oh, what isug a fucking I gotta chug a Pedialyte and think about God. I just gotta ride

this out in a porta potty for a minute. I'm feeling too much. So sad. You did that at Ruha Ha once. That's what happens to me. Don't do Molly, kids. Or if you do, don't do it because of us. But do listen to the greatest.

Absolutely. I also want to point out that nobody thinks you actually stole any sort of idea. And I need to say that because I have accused one or two outlets of actually stealing ideas. Back when I was in a less healthy place mentally and I got sort of a, you know, I tea-kettled a little bit on Twitter. I tea-kettled. And some of them stole it. But anyway, anyway, it's not important. So listen to The Greatest and you appear on other

podcasts as well. Oh yeah, I'm on I'm on, I forgot that. I'm on Hysteria, on Crooked Media. So yeah, we talk all things sort of politics and pop culture from the perspective of feminists. Gals.

It's, it's gal talk, fellas. It's gal talk. It's gal talk. It's gal talk. Zach Galifianakis. Zach.

It's Zach Galifianakis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Zach Galifianakis. No, that's amazing. So politics and pop culture from a feminist perspective. So please fuck with all of that. We know you love Megan Gailey

if you're listening to this. So go support the homie. Absolutely. I'm Ian Carmel. Ian Carmel on Twitter. Ian Carmel on Instagram. Ian Carmel on Jewish Diptyque app, which you can only get with a French rotary telephone. I have nothing

to promote. Watch the Late Late Show with James Gordon where I am currently doing the Andy Richter thing, which is really fun. Can I tell you that I thought of an Ian Carmel on Jewish thing? Oh, please. Yeah. I thought of Ian Carmel on Jewish Twitter where your mentions are high.

Aha. Okay. My mentions are high. All! My mentions are high. Aha! But I'm not Jewish, so I can't do it. Don't you miss performing for an audience and hearing them all go, ah. Where they go respectfully,

I get your joke, and please move on to the next one. All right, yeah. I miss it when you say something that you don't think is divisive and you just hear them like get quiet oh yeah yeah you just say something you didn't think was something you didn't think was a bad thing to say and then they're like oh in my stand-up um i have a lot of times where people laugh at things that are not the punchline and i don't know why they're i'm like you know i'll be like so my

dad blew up on a wave runner and they're laughing and i'm like he did i don't know what to tell you that is that is a really funny sentence wave runner i think about that joke that you have about wanting to have sex with someone family adjacent is all oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and just watching where people laugh at that joke is always very funny. Yeah. Watching where I laugh at that joke. That's a tough joke to do in front of people that know my brothers. That's why it's so funny.

Usually they'll come up to me and they'll be like, Michael. And I'm like, Michael. Oh, man, that's fun. Oh, every now and then I miss stand up again. And that was a moment where I missed it. I'm my baseline is fine, but I've been missing it a little bit. Just a little. I thought of some funny things and I'm like, I want to go do it.

I haven't felt that way, honestly, in like years where I've like really wanted to go to a quarantine. It's been like six months. No, it hasn't. It's been much longer for me. I bet if we all did it just one because, yeah, it's kind of absent from us now and it would be dangerous to do it. So you almost like don't fully let your brain go there. But I bet if we were all to do it one time, we would be like, give me more. I think so.

It would be a rush. It's like a problem. I was talking to this guy, Billy Bonnell. Yeah. Or is it Bonnell? Yeah, Billy Bonnell, who's very funny. And he was saying he did a show in San Diego at like this big outdoor show. And he was like, I sucked, but the crowd was loving it because they just wanted to see you stand up so badly.

And I was like, ooh, that but the crowd was loving it because they just wanted to see stand up so badly. And I was like, oh, that sounds great. That sounds so fun. We're going to be performing for like dance recital crowds. Like people are going to be so on our side. I know. It's going to be like doing improv. It's going to be great. It's going to be like doing improv.

Yeah. Where all your friends are there for some reason. Why do they have so many friends? I don't know. Where'd do they have so many friends? They have so many. Where'd you get all these fucking friends? I think they all work at startups. We don't work anywhere,

so we can't make normal people friends. No. That's exactly right. They have so many fucking friends. Other improv groups, too. There's a lot of that going on. Improvers are friends with other improvers yeah it's the opposite of stand-up you would do like a packed you would do a packed show you'd be like walk in opening for an improv group or something and be like oh my god this crowd is packed and then one improv group stands up and you're like oh it's

just two improv groups here yeah you know what's funny is when you do stand up at those shows it does not go well i've noticed like it goes for you oh i'm murdered at those shows i always do so bad really i always crush it because they're looking for like they're looking for a bunch of nerds to be like we're on a spaceship made of nipples and then i'm like i don't know how to love good yeah smash. Smash. Or it's just like, here's something I wrote down. I've practiced this. And worked on. And now it's better. And they're like, wow, what a concept.

So I'm not funny. So I'm not good at stand up. You are funny. I think that's what's happening. That's what's going on. I got to retool some stuff. I get it. Yeah, that's all.

That's all. Yeah. I did a 50-50 on the flat bar. So no big deal. Looking bro. Funny looking dog. Bruv, there it is. Which, by the way, that's all that's all yeah i did a 50 50 on the flat bar so no big deal looking bro funny looking dog bro there it is which by the way that's half a stand-up just be funny looking oh yeah that's that's so many times how many times i've done a show and then somebody's come up afterwards and been like we could tell you were gonna be hilarious you're like oh because i'm a big fat guy drinking a Mai Tai I get the opposite of that

I get the full total opposite people are like we thought you were gonna be you know saying Fox News propaganda and we were when you said Filipino husband I fell out of my chair I gotta be honest

we thought that was the joke wouldn't it be funny if I had a Filipino husband fell out of my chair. We thought that was the joke. Wouldn't it be funny if I had a Filipino husband? That's what we thought was coming. I could just see someone like hand on your shoulder can't look at you because they're laughing so hard. Filipino husband. I'm firmly in the

David camp. I look like a Jewish cartoon. Less with the haircut at the sides, but like... Well, you look Jewish because you are Jewish, right? 100% bar mitzvah and everything. Yeah, absolutely. Haven't snuck it in in a while, you know? Give me a little rabbit punch there. Now, we are gathering here today not only to

trot out some of our old favorite jokes like 100% bar mitzvah and everything, but also to fantasy draft houses from movies, a topic suggested by Megan Gailey, which is ripe and wonderful, and it's going to be so fun to talk about. It is. Now, the way we determine the order of these fantasy drafts

for new listeners is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors, and it shall be played between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. David wins. David wins.

Wait, but don't we have, oh, because we have the same it's a modified three person version somebody sent us the stats and the shislakity the other day David is beat my ass at rock paper scissors he always wins you needed somebody to do the math on that

ain't nobody talking to you or your dartboard you couldn't you couldn't feel that shit in your heart I got nobody talking to you or your dartboard. You couldn't feel that shit in your heart? Ain't nobody talking to you. Just pick the order, dickhead. I've been running roughshod this whole fucking time. I'm a menace out here. I cried for you that night, Sean. I still cried.

I've been bad and fucking weak. As long as you're not crying for Argentina, it's fine. No, Argentina's doing all right now. I do think going first in this, there's definitely some headline houses yes absolutely there's one to me anyways i felt like you were about to say it and i was gonna i was going to materialize behind you dude and then like that that's all it takes for you to get here don't say it i want you to be here though i want to hang out i'm there for one mission and then i'm

back yeah he can only time travel to you to kill you. Yeah. So you could hang out, but it could only be for like two minutes. And then he does have to kill you. A bitter. Why take a long time to die? I think. I think I'll probably take a couple of years to die.

I think he has to leave, though. I have to go right after that. And honestly, you have cats now. Once they know that you're down, they'll eat you. They're going to eat your face, bro. Michael Irvin and Scarface. They're going to sniff me is what they're going to do. What's up, Zeke? Michael Purael pervin bro you can't hear michael pervin michael pervin and uh oh i like that michael pervin pervin it's cute right yeah oh p-u-r-r okay i was like why are you talking

about this not michael michael irvin did try and holler at me when I was 21 years old. I definitely believe that. I was going to say, were you? Yeah. Tell me a story that's hard to believe. That's like say Michael Irvin caught a 10 yard out against the Niners once. And by 21, I think I mean 19. But I think he meant 19 too.

That's the Michael Pervin David was thinking of. Michael Perver. Was thinking of. Pervin. Michael Perverde. Was it at a bar? It was at a Monday night game. And, you know, they used to build the set. This was the RCA Dome. So they would build the Monday night set over the opposing team's tunnel that they walked in and out of.

And our seats were right next to that. And I was there with my best friend. My parents had, like, given us the Monday night tickets. And so we were, he had been, like, trying to, like, get my attention the whole game. Berman was in on it. I mean, and I heard Berman is like, okay, talk about, talk about murdering your kitty cats, Sean.

So. Talk about murdering your kitty cats, Sean. And so I'm like, oh, my God. I'm like so flattered. My friend, she didn't know who he was. She's a nurse. And I'm like, he's like the Florence Nightingale. Okay. Like he's like a big time. And then we were walking out and he's like, do you guys want to come?

And we're like, no, no, no. We have to go. We're children. And then someone called my out and he's like, do you guys want to come? And we're like, no, no, no. We have to go. We're children. And then someone called my dad the next day. And apparently they put Michael Irving like up on the big screen at that exact moment that I was watching, walking up the stairs. And you could see him staring at my butt, walking up the stairs. Oh, my God. Wow.

The playmaker. What did he call you? Was he like, hey, he call you was he like hey red i don't even remember i don't even remember because you know when i worked at the nfl that was sort of like the first context that i had been in like a professional like at the sbs yes you're in a professional setting but at the nfl it's like i feel like it was a lot of calamari it was less but at the nfl it was like these are now my co-workers and you would see some of their brains be like how do i talk to a woman like that like there would there were a one one guy in particular would just stare at me like i would ask him things and he just like

would not answer would just stare because i don't think he like knew how to do it wow i can't get in trouble if you don't say anything. Yeah. That's true, though. That's true. He is right about that. He is right about that. Oh, my God.

That's so funny. We shot a thing with the Late Late Show at the NFL Network with Michael Irvin, and he was just like, he's very entertaining, but I never felt like he heard another word that anyone else had to say. He would like everything was a new scene for him just based on what he wanted to be doing in that moment. Right. Yeah. I was like, is this a concussion thing or what's going on here? I think he's

super funny. It's a Florida thing too. I think he's great TV for sure, but I would imagine producing him is difficult. I think it was definitely difficult. Michael or Michael Pervin, dude. Anyway, name your cat Michael Pervin with the E though, dude, in honor of that.

Michael Pervin. Michael Pervin. Michelle Pervin. Now, David, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. What does that mean? It's a great question.

Kind of like that feather in the beginning of forest gump where it starts uh and it's falling and it falls over to one side don't fucking crinkle your brow at me sean i hope you're not giving clues for picks you might be made okay i don't know why you'd bring that up it uh it just kind of falls over to the left and then it stays on the left for a while and then it kind of drifts over to the right and then it kind of dips down a little bit then it drifts over to the left and then it stays on the left for a while and then it kind of drifts over to the right and then it kind of dips down a little bit and then it drifts over to the left and then it just kind of drips down a little bit

and then back to the right and it just kind of goes back and forth spending a little bit of time on each side before it lands politely, politely in a book. No, on the ground and then he puts it in a book. I just felt like drafting. Is that okay? That was not bad. Can I get a newerry jones voice when he calls in for the pick

that's how tom hanks got it a lot of people don't understand tom hanks got it from that little boy who got it from jerry. Haley Joel Osment. I just felt like running. That was not Haley Joel Osment. He plays him in... I'm talking about the little boy who played Forrest. Who goes,

what? When he does that to his principal. Your mama sure does care about your education. That's not Haley Jo Osmond. No, it isn't. I was talking about Forrest Jr. You're talking about Jenny's son. Yeah, Jenny's son.

Is he smart? Yeah, we didn't... That part makes me fucking ball every time. Every time I see it. Tom Hanks will get you there, dude. Yeah, yeah, dude. I start crying immediately. David, knowing sean cries immediately

at that point what will the order of today's draft a lot of points david sean megan ian david sean megan ian hot corner david sean megan ian is the order for the all fantasy everything uh houses draft houses for movies draft which we will get to that first pick right after this short break this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice?

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off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash all fantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash all fantasy spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash all fantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. Yeah, we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed, except of course for the greatest featuring Megan Gailey and also, what's the

hersteria? Hysteria. Hysteria. Why did I put the fucking hersteria in it? Well, because that's like herstory. If I hosted a podcast called Herstory, I would want you guys to kill me. What if it was a podcast called Herstory in it. Well, because that's like Herstory. If I hosted a podcast called Herstory, I would want you guys to kill me. What if it was a podcast called Herstory? Hysteria, also featuring Megan Gailey

and previous AMV guest Dana Schwartz as well. You can listen to that. So check those out. But other than that, it's just all fantasy everything. That's it. We're fucking it. If you heard another podcast,

you were on Mali. You were on Mali and everything. That's it. We're fucking it. If you were another podcast, you were on Molly. You were on Molly and you were hallucinating it. Other podcasts endorse Molly. Yeah. We denounce it. We denounce it publicly. How about that? Right into our throats.

Yeah. I'm going to denounce some fucking weed right after this is over. I denounce you to my stomach and my bloodstream. I bought two denounces yesterday and i'm just gonna go nuts yeah i denounce weed denounce a durban poison right now what do you want to know come on i spoke denounce and then the other ounce i don't know we'll turn it into a t-shirt

we'll sell it to the beach when covid's over it's all happening yeah yeah we should put it on now they put it on a mask oh yeah yeah let's put it on a mask we'll mask it up yeah also by the way masks getting way bold oh yeah wearing or just the the look some people just got some bold statements on masks now well gailey didn't you have a didn't you have like a louis vuitton knockoff mask i had a it was um faux louis vuitton material that my mother-in-law made me and i would wear it out and got so many compliments like i honestly i would wear it places, and then I was like, I have to stop wearing it because people keep coming up to talk to me, and that's not what I want during this time.

Does your mother-in-law have the hookup on fake Louis V and also how much a yard? Oh, she bought it in the Philippines. This isn't even, you can't even get this in America, the fake Louis Vuitton. She bought a few yards of it? Yes. The only other people I've seen, the fake Louis Vuitton. She bought a few yards of it? Yes. The only other people I've seen with this fake Louis Vuitton mask, so there are others, were old Filipino women at a rest stop.

Amazing. I'm very familiar about counterfeit textiles from the Philippines. Let's just keep it at that. I'll put you and Helen in contact. Much appreciated. You're welcome. Say no more. The Dapper Dan of fucking Los Angeles.

Let's just say I'm trying to cover a backpack. Listen, she has iPad covers, phone covers, shoes, like everything. No, I know the game. I appreciate that. He's all tied up. Most of your assets are tied up in fake Louis Vuitton fabric right now. I have a lot of textiles that aren't, you know,

endorsed by the companies. Our people, we call it the schmata business, and we've been at it for quite a while, so we're fully with it. That's how the Jews made their money in this country. Knock off whatever was big in the 30s. Amen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

David, Borey, this country knock off whatever was big in the 30s amen yeah yeah yeah uh the schmata david bory uh you have the first pick in the houses for movies shout out to david i'm first i'm taking the most stereotypical california 90s house in a movie i'm taking the father of the bride good one it was so good it's so good where they had the oh my i just watched that movie like two weeks ago so good such a beautiful house such a beautiful yard such beautiful fucking colors the yard is and also it makes me feel like i would live there if i was some kind of a second-tier sneaker mogul. That kitchen smells like lemon for sure. All the time. All the time.

Always smells like lemon. And if you're fans of the movie, you know in Father of the Bride Part 2, he impregnates Diane Keaton in that kitchen. Yeah. That's what he bought it for. Yeah. And they have that basketball. They have a half-court basketball set up in the drive lane. Yeah, but like a nice, not a janky.

Not that having just a hoop is janky, but they got like a setup. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, they got a setup. Yeah, there's concrete. Concrete has been poured. Concrete has been poured. Lines. Bolts have been fastened.

They weren't playing on an incline on a cul-de-sac like your boy did. No, no. Shut up to incline. Growing up, I wassac like your boy did. No, no. He flattened it. Growing up, I was like, oh, wow, that house is so pretty. But you're made to believe they're like middle class because he's freaking out about the price of this wedding the whole time. And now growing up, that house is in Pasadena and is $5 million. You know? That's what you realize about these and i'm sure we'll talk

about it's more of where you're like what they were worried about what in that fucking crib dog they could have scaled down the crib a little bit and not had to worry about anything let her get the fucking swans yeah that's old that's old la money that house that's like old la money pasadena is like movie home magic for real that is it's it's incredible some of the huntington libraries in pasadena and some of those houses around it when you're just driving in you're like who lives here yeah where did you make your money were you like i just assume everyone was an executive in the 70s you know anybody who lives in pasadena in la no never the streets are wide in pasadena there's parking uh it's weird it looks like a neighborhood it doesn't look like the rest of the town because

it's not crowded ever and i got a shout out in california but i don't fuck how how do you go there you're like shout out to pasadena where you at they're not where pasadena i feel like he just went to pasadena for the first time and was just like, oh, I like this. He had to go to a West Elm and he's like, well, there's only one. There is like I know people from Pasadena definitely make a distinction between like North and South Pass. Like, oh, yeah, schools are different. So I do think part of Pasadena does have some Highland Park street cred. Okay.

Oh, is that where the bus gets or the train gets off? I've gotten off at that stop. Not that great. There's a park over there in the South Pass Park. So, you know, I get it. It's still feels fine. But their city hall is nicer than L.A. City Hall. Have you seen their city hall?

Yeah, I have. They have a hospital that I thought was a resort. They have a resort that I thought was a hospital. That freaking hospital. I pass, I go, I got to get sick. I got to get there. I got to get sick. That place is nice.

I run over my foot. Run over my foot. I got to get in there. CJ, hit me with this car. This is nice. I run over my foot. Run over my foot. I got to get in there. CJ. Hit me with this car. It's a hospital that doesn't even take insurance. It's one of those. You know what?

If you do it right, you can have a car run over your foot in it. You can't even feel it. Like most of the time, if there was a car driving by and you just stuck your foot out. I'm serious. If you just stuck your foot out and it just ran over like the top of your foot, you wouldn't even feel it. What? Is that true? I love you. What are you basing this off of? Don't. I saw it. I feel it what is that i love you yeah what are you basing this off of don't i saw it i saw it you know what he's basing this off this is what edgar said the molly thing don't do molly and don't do this i'll tell you

what i'm basing it off mark mark gonzalez did an escape video he stuck his cab out or his foot out and let a cab run over at new york city and it didn't feel it so i just went and i told everyone who listens that they can stick their foot under any car and they won't feel it. It's probably not true. Don't. Yeah, don't do it. But I mean, do your own research. Make your own decisions.

You can't run over your leg. I'm saying if you stick your foot out and let a car run over your toes, you can't feel it. According to Mark Gonzalez in this video. It was like an urban legend where I went to college that if you got hit by one of the college buses you got free tuition and we would talk about like how we would get hit all the time like yeah where did you go to college university i mean it's not even it's actually like pretty cheap tuition we're talking state big 10 school like as low as you can get and people were willing to get hit by buses for it did it happen i don't know there was someone i know who got hit

by a bus but i do not think they got free tuition that's a fucking that's a fucking this is their fault it's a scam dude they didn't have they didn't have the setup good enough you have to have your nose in an engineering book yeah and you And you have to be thinking about like a NASA helmet on. Am I going to be an engineer or an astronaut? Maybe wear a Drew Brees Jersey and just walk right into traffic. I think, I think that's how you get it. I'm trying to think of a Purdue basketball player and I couldn't get

that. Oh, I didn't even know. Yeah. Each one more. I went to Portland State University. We have Ime Udoka, who's now like a hot name in the head coaching circles.

That's nice. I can't wait to move further down that notable alumni at Portland State University. Don't you let them move you down. Courtney Love, Ime Udoka. I don't know what I got to do to get back above Ime Udoka at this point. It's going to take something crazy. You're top five, though, right? I'm top five at Portland State right now, which does not speak highly

of my university, but Grammy winner Esperanza Spaulding. Okay. Is that doing anything for anybody? No. You're honestly the name that's moving the meter the most for me right now. Thank you very much. I did sort of bring this up just to get that little ego boost. It's the bump

Kofi Annan also went there right? It was Kofi Annan. Okay, wow Kofi Annan President Barack Hussein Obama went there Bertrand Russell, I believe Yeah, Ursula K. Le Guin Yeah, yeah, yeah

The guy who invented apples to apples The guy who invented apples We're giving Thun getting an honorary we're giving thunberg an honorary bachelor an honorary two-year associates degree yeah no i get that university of phoenix offered me a honorary associates you gotta take it that's just for being a real one they were like you've been to phoenix you're a real one we're just giving these out what do you want hotel? We'll hook you up. Hotel arts?

Is that when you just paint the ugly paintings that are in hotels? Yeah. You have three pastel paint pots. I also went there for continental breakfast design and theory, which is important. Yeah. I don't want to brag, but I'm the guy who brought grapes to the continental. What whack fruit should we wrap in cellophane? But Mr. Boy, they're going to get too warm. I don't care. Warm, warm milk, warm milk and cold waffles.

Do the continental breakfast story. That house is so dope. And yeah, that's a great first pick. I mean, that's yeah. You would really want to raise a family there. You would want to it's just everything is like crisp and clean great mine's better

Stevie Martin baby which means it is time for Sean's first pick yeah the Home Alone house really yeah absolutely yeah I thought that was going to go first absolutely I mean I like Christmas I'm not splitting the atom i think a lot of people do

but that whole house is like uh that whole house if you guys want to get through if that whole house uh is christmas themed if you if you watch the movie i've seen it probably five times since quarantine yeah it's all red and green it's so dope you know for a fact it has a basement a middle an upstairs and an attic and the attic is dope as shit it's got a you know for a fact it has a basement a middle an upstairs and an attic and the attic is dope as shit it's got a tree house with zipline capabilities that house is perfect it's got one of those wraparound driveways that's super dope it's another one where you're like led to believe that they're not yes crazy rich they don't even reference what they do but you're like they're fucking swimming in it dog the. The whole family's flying to Paris.

Yeah, they can sleep the whole family. Yeah. If my dad flew one of my uncles to Paris with us, I'd be like, he's a sultan. What are you talking about? That's so much money. And they're all complaining about it. Buzz has all the goodies, so they're rich. Like, Buzz has the BB gun, the tarantula in his room, which is really fun. Yeah, you don't get all of those. So they're rich. Like Buzz has the BB gun, the Terran in his room, which is really fun.

Yeah. You don't get all of those things unless you're rich. To me, that's the how that house is like another character in the movie. You know, like it's more than just it's they I've watched like a lot of documentaries about Home Alone. And like they searched high and low. And when they saw it, they were like, oh, my God. I mean, it's just an iconic look. I'm sorry.

You said you watch a lot of documentaries about Home Alone. I've seen CJ loves John Hughes. And so we watch like there was a really good one. It's not like how was this? I don't know. But I know what you're talking about. They talk a lot about. Yeah, they actually built the interior of that house somewhere else.

In a gym. Oh, interesting. It's in the gymnasium from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Really? That's the inside of that house is all built inside a gymnasium. How fucking cool is that? And the high school was like, I think it's not New Trier, but it's like one of the famous high schools in Chicago. They were building a new high school.

And so they found this place and just built that entire set there. A hundred percent. And the house itself was in Chicago as well, right? The exterior shot. Yep. Yeah. It's on the North shore.

And you like, we would drive when my parents lived in Chicago, we would drive by it like all the time. I mean, we just loved it. Somebody lives there. So there's somebody who just lives in the home alone house yeah we should just go rob it for real get the job done this time that place just feels it does feel like another character in the movie that house does

it's like such a oh dude that kitchen and then you realize especially now that you're a homeowner mr cartwheel when you watch that stuff you look at things that you never looked at when you're a kid you're just like that kitchen is ill dude i could host people there when you're a kid you're just like that attic looks dope yeah yeah bb gun rules that zipline rules but as a grown-up also i remember this in home alone side note when he he brought in all the pizzas and he's like that'll be 120 in my mind i was like are you fucking kidding me it's 12 pizzas dog what do you think it cheap, actually. That's the thing about that movie. That house does that. That pizza thing.

It does such a great job of like, I don't know. It makes him feel like a kid. It makes him. Absolutely. He is small within this gigantic house. His bed is like four feet tall and he has to like climb up onto it. There's enough room for him to be safely under the bed. You're like, yeah, this is a house right here.

Even like the idea of taking a shower alone feels like independence, like that people being a kid living like a grown-up kind of thing. That house did wallpaper so well. Oh, yeah. You see a rich person's home covered in wallpaper, you're like, that's the 90s. That's a very distinct time.

Absolutely. The 90s was a bit... We had wallpaper, and the Carmela house had wallpaper in it for sure yeah is it just me or did they have red carpets red and green carpet and some wood yeah green carpet it is that's intense for me time for the third pick megan your first pick so this is a bit of a game time decision i'm gonna say the parasite house oh yeah of course i thought that was gonna be a sleeper i thought I'd get it later No it was about to go next

There was no way That's such a good pick Let me ask you this Are you excited about Well I guess spoiler for anyone who hasn't seen Parasite But you know So this is actually So this is a big spoiler

Is it okay to say We're going to say it here and then come back in 30 seconds. So say it quick. Are you excited about the basement part of the house? The secret part where all the people are? Yeah. Okay. That's like a plus. That's also this is another house that like it changes

the whole dynamic of the movie and then it's not even that impressive from the street. No, it's so modern. And it's not even that impressive from the street no it's so modern and it's so beautiful and i think the way that it's like appointed i guess they would say yeah is really incredible and it's like burned in my memory like the parasite house is is forever a cultural touchstone for any any house that has like a lot of windows. My mom will be like, that's the parasite house.

And I'm like, it's not like that. It doesn't look anything like it, but it is. It's just so modern. And you know what I like is I like a mellow, a house with mellow stairs because they got the room and that house has mellow ass stairs.

Like those stairs would not be a chore to go up or down. Oh yeah. Yeah. I get what you're saying. Mellow long stairs You just want a chill house That big window when it starts raining And like the rain starts rolling in

But they're like in their living room That's so peaceful with that lily yard And the way it's all like closed in like that It's so fucking gorgeous And the outdoor like the landscaping outdoors is really beautiful too Yeah that house just feels I mean it belies what happens in the movie, but it feels so peaceful.

It's such a peaceful house. I think that was all filmed there. Like I would assume maybe the basement was different, but like that kitchen, there's shots where you see her go from like upstairs, down the stairs, into the dining room, into the kitchen. That's one shot. So I assume it's all like that interior is what you're seeing yeah yeah

that house that kitchen looks so good too oh my god this is great i need to watch that i need to watch that movie again i was i was late to it i watched it twice and then like i think i'm ready for i think i'm ready for another viewing i saw in theaters twice like a weirdo it's fucking but it's that good though that was yeah god that movie is so good i went with my mom and she thought it was yucky she didn't like it because it doesn't have a happy ending she's fucking, but it's that good though. That was, yeah. God, that movie is so good. I went with my mom and she thought it was yucky. She didn't like it because it doesn't have a happy ending. She's like, I didn't like that. I didn't know she goes, I didn't love that movie. To be fair, it's like

Daryl Hall. She didn't love it. I think it's a movie, a good movie to see multiple times because you have to read the whole first time. Yeah. And there's like the like acting is so good too. And i'm like afraid that i missed some facial expressions because i was trying to read too fast i think you're 100% right about that yeah it it it behooves i'm sorry to use that word on this podcast behooves the

second viewing those actors are so good too they're so fucking good yeah that i i don't i can't remember any of their names but the poor dad is just like so fucking good and it's so good at like yeah man yeah the dad and then when we were seeing him on like the awards circuit i was like the parasite dad is hot hot he's a hot they're all fucking gorgeous hot dad but they do a good they ugly him up real good they they they they monsters and i'm not talking about the rich dad. I'm talking about the chauffeur. Yeah, the chauffeur. I was like, he's hot. Oh, no. He's like

thick, strong dad. They're all hot. Everyone in the movie's hot. They're all beautiful. That is true. The poor dad in a tuxedo staring at you from across the party, giving you kind of like a squint. You know what I mean? Yeah. He's got like a glass. You know he smells good. He's like that kind of handsome. He's that kind of handsome where he smells good

but it's like, it's subtle but it's like, oh my god, that's how a man should smell. Like I just get that vibe off of him. Yeah. Jaffiel. Jaffiel. Jaff provides. Alright, time for my first pick. That's such a great pick. I was literally about to take it. For my first pick

I'm going to take a house owned in real life by NBA superfan Jimmy Goldstein until he donated it. It is Jackie Treehorn's house from The Big Lebowski. Yeah, that's great.

It's fucking dope. Its real name is The Sheets Goldstein House. And it was, for those who don't know, Jimmy Goldstein was like the NBA superfan who you see at games sometimes. He looks like a mummy and he's got long gray hair and he's always wearing like snakeskin pants and like a gold

glittery jacket. How is he so rich? I think it's real estate money, but it's a mystery. The whole thing is like a big mystery. Nobody really knows, but he's definitely done a lot of cocaine with Jack Nicholson. yeah that off looking at him but yeah that house was in um it was in another movie too it's in like a bond movie or something yeah it's been it's been in a few movies but i specifically like the jackie treehorn iteration of it that like that there's that

crazy pool in front of it where like the front of the eve of the house goes like over the pool and that looks amazing but then that indoors where it's like the those couches that are like built into it with like the the cushion that's built into the couch kind of thing it's not necessarily a house i would want to live in all the time but i would definitely want to have a party there like you would want to host a party in that i bet you that house has like a whole other section where you live where they're just like this is just like, this is where you live. This is where you do your day-to-day. This is where you throw the fuck down and

have your dope pool parties. I feel like that kind of house is definitely like a house that has like, the bathroom is all glass. You can't take a private shower in the residence part of that house. There's no way to baby-proof that house. If you have a child, we just have to move we have to be

raised that you send that baby to another to a school to go get raised only people who have sex can hang out in this house yeah you have to have sex once a day in the house if you don't like seeing your whole body in a mirror don't go in the water bedroom and don't go into any room water bedroom the one time i went to a hollywood house party, it had a bathroom that like the, the, the bedroom, the whole thing was glass. The bedroom had,

was all glass. So you could see into the bedroom from the living room and including the shower, including the shower. When bathrooms are like see-through, it's like, you don't want to take a shit in peace? I just don't understand this desire to see the bathroom.

It's like, who? Just let it be its own thing. An unobserved shit is so crucial. Yeah. I want an unobserved tweezing my eyebrows, brushing my teeth, taking a shower. Bathroom stuff. Yeah. Everything I do in there, I want to be unobserved. It's not crazy to not want people to see you do

bathroom shit. Can you imagine a self-grooming situation? When you have to contort your body all weird and you're trying to do it in the mirror, but the whole time it's a panopticon, there's glass walls and at any moment the mailman could see you doing that kind of thing.

It was just I was like how does somebody fucking live here? It was crazy. It's like the bathroom doesn't have to be like that but the whole house was glass so he didn't want like one room that wasn't. Yeah what are you going to do? Treehorn. Anyway that's the treehorn mansion from the Big Lebowski.

And then I'm going to take so I have two things that I think are questionable. I'm going to pick one later. I'm going to take one now. It is not just it's a residence, but it's not just a house. If someone lives there,

I count it. Yeah. So I'm going to take Hogwarts then. Of course you can take Hogwarts. Yeah, yeah. All right. I'm taking fucking Hogwarts Hogwarts then. Yeah. Of course you can take Hogwarts. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm taking fucking Hogwarts.

School of wizardry. I hate to bring this up, but we were drafting food one time and David picked a ball pit. So there's really not too much. You can't not have that one. I am. I actually wondered if someone was going to pick a Hogwarts because they do live there.

There's residents there. But I want to know what occurred to you when the thought crossed your mind the first time. What do you think? Does it seem cheap or does it seem like an okay pick? No, because the thing is there was one for me

that I was on the fence with and now you've opened up a world for me where I feel I'm fully over that fence. Yeah, I'm on the other end of that fence too and I'm excited because it'll be fun to talk about. It's street fight rules now. Now it's a street fight AFV.

Well, we started it with like, these are houses that like obviously belong to rich people but as kids we were like, those are pretty and now we're just like full-blown castles.

Full-blown castles, yeah. This might not be the only castle I take. Now the thing about Hogwarts is there is evil inside. There's a basilisk that lurks within. There's ghosts, you know what I mean? There is evil inside. There's a basilisk that lurks within. There's ghosts.

You know what I mean? There's a tomb. There's like a tomb with an evil spirit. Yeah. Isn't there a bunch of slaves? Moaning myrtles in a fucking toilet crying their eyes out. Moaning myrtles in a toilet weeping. And she'll come up and fucking let you know what time it is.

There are no house elves in Hogwarts, I don't think. Yeah. No, they're not. They're not. Sometimes they travel there um like dobby definitely showed up at hogwarts but then he had it's only like to bring a message dobby got freed at hogwarts you did it's the appomattox courthouse of but if you're running it you can just like kick the basilisk out right it's tough you could probably do a lot if you're running the house yeah i think um in a lot

of ways they keep some of the spooky things as like because the forest is really dangerous and he has a lot but they they keep it because they're trying to like learn and and i mean dumbledore he's a real fucking tree hugger oh boy he's like come on you said it sister come on come all you know if you're if you've killed four kids but you you have a desire to be better dumbledore will be like get on in here you're a teacher now you're a teacher now you teach classes here i'm just picturing you walking through with like a damn near empty bottle of jack tripping everywhere in the castle just like where are you you don't even know what you're looking for show yourself I got a wand I don't know how to use

I gotta go does that open the door none of this opens the door this is where a divorce settlement gets you I just want to hear Freebird eating alone in the great hall huge the great hall

just with a podcast playing on my phone while I eat in the great hall yeah watching Netflix on your phone just in the great hall just for the podcast playing on my phone while i eat the great hall yeah watching netflix on your phone just in the great hall eating a tv dinner bunch of owls that i'm like oh shit i gotta let the owls out oh yeah so many owls that you get sick of them after a while you're like fucking owls oh my god all right i'll let them i'll let the owls out chill out god i'm coming yeah yeah man no that's a of course that's a fantastic pick yeah so catch me in either the jackie treehorn house or hogwarts uh megan time for your second pick okay gosh i really was thinking about um all right this is this may even be a movie that you guys haven't seen. And this is The Lake House from What About Bob?

Oh, no. I thought you were going to take it to The Lake House. Are you outside your mind? That's a great movie that I haven't seen? That's a great movie. Oh, my God. You do love that style. I do.

Growing up, my mom still brings up the What About Bob house. And then my cousins lived right next door to a house that looked just like the what about Bob house. And so I was like, Oh my God, it's possible. You know, like it felt attainable to me,

but it's like, I have the pictures pulled up right now. It's just so, I think it's supposed to be in Connecticut, right? Yeah. Like maybe like when a piss off key is where it is. Like when a piss off key.

Okay. Oh, a piss off key. where it is like when a pissaw key okay but yeah it's just i mean oh my gosh i'm seeing like the oh it's the jeep with the wooden siding in front of it the old ones it's almost the outdoor patio with like the screen door so they can eat outside but not have the bugs be an issue. And I still do that bit, by the way, if I'm eating with people I don't know, I'll just do it. I love that dinner bit. It's so rad.

It's just a really, it's a house that almost looks like a horror movie could be there too, which I guess What About Bob is to some extent, but just like a colonial classic. It feels like a Kennedy would maybe listen. Yeah, you got to have waterfront is. I know Hogwarts is beautiful.

It does not have waterfront property like Waterbilt. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. Well, I mean, it's next to that bay where the ship pulls up with full of the Russian dudes. Yes. Isn't there some kind of a bog? Yes. But it's not like this. It's not somewhere you want to go swimming. This is a

real house in Virginia and it's sold for $1.675 million a couple years ago. That actually seems reasonable. I mean, for where it's at, that's like on damn near private lake access with your own dock. That's what you're paying for.

Well, I also like like as i was thinking about houses for this there's also a style of house say a gone with the wind where you're like i don't want to pick that there's houses that now have a well they've always had a sad history but like in the context of the world you're like oh we've turned on some houses. Yeah, yeah. Drenched and terrible. Yes. Yeah.

Antebellum, like get it out of here. Anything antebellum. I'm not, I'm, no, I'm, I'm, I'm going to be living in sort of the northeast and northwest and southwest for my homes. Absolutely. That house that, from Schindler's List, that overlooked the concentration camp. Beautiful house. That house that from Schindler's List that overlooked the

concentration camp. Beautiful house. Beautiful house. Well made German architecture. Gorgeous house. It's not getting picked here. No, yeah. It's definitely, definitely not. Nobody was going to pick it. Your horror movie thing is a great point

because you need to have a very beautiful placid house in a movie to have it wrecked by this chaotic force, point because like you need to have a very beautiful, placid house in a movie like that to have it like wrecked by this like chaotic force. Right. So you need to have for sure, like the most bucolic, peaceful looking house possible. And that one is like fucking bang on like that. Yeah. The Amityville Horror House is a pretty, you know, it's like a pretty house. It's a really pretty house, but it's like, no, I don't live there. But I can't when I see houses like that, no, it looks like it has eyes. Every time I see a house like

Amityville, I'm like, that house is looking at me. It just creeps me out so bad. It was built in 1987, so it must have been built right before the movie? Yeah. It looks old. That surprises me. It's in Virginia, isn't it? It's in Virginia. What ain't shit to do but cook? I have read that.

Yeah. It's been it's it's been published it's been published oh god a house on a lake is like a it's a very real dream for me i fucking oh god that would be dope i'm gonna go there with you excellent pick sean time for your second pick well to no one's surprise i i uh i like romantic movies i like movies about love and things of that nature and this is one of my favorites. And so I'm going to pick the house that a gentleman built with his bare hands and he restored in the movie.

The Notebook. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's one of those houses like for the movie's sake he built it. In real life, I don't know how deep we want to dig on who built that. No, no, I don't. But I'm living in

the world of the movie yeah and uh it's it's got the the rowboat with their own like private pond with all the swans and everything and that the older i get the more like you said i just want to be around water but they're like secluded like out there and i just want to be able to go sit in a rowboat in the water and when he comes out so at the end you haven't seen the notebook fucking get your life together but when she comes back to him at the end and he comes out wrapped in that blanket with his coffee up on the top deck i was just like i want to do that i want to get up at like six in the morning and just go out and drink coffee with a blanket around me on my deck and look at my giant yard dude i love that house it is really pretty come over dude here's a blanket i'll make you a coffee i got a yard yeah man i'll pull up to the house i will pull up to the house i think

pillars are really beautiful yeah pillars are very beautiful and just uh you know again in the in the world of the movie that house was just such such a, you know, such a shitty house. They lost their virginity together in that house. And then he just restored the whole thing and this like long lost love and had this whole goal in mind. And then to see it come to fruition is such a romantic thing. And, you know, so I just that house to me is all that. I'm like, yeah, I want to live there. That seems right.

Yeah. Is it called a widow's walk if it's up at the top of the house like that? Or is that just unlike a coastal house? Um, I think I've heard a widow's walk if it's up at the top of the house like that? Or is that just unlike a coastal house? I've heard a widow's peak. Is that the same? A widow's peak is at the very top. And I think the story is like it was at the very top of the house. And so the women would sit up there and wait for their watch for their husbands to come back.

Is he back from the war yet? Right. But a widow's walk, you mean that little like it's a little it's like a it's a it's a platform on a roof yeah i think that is called that yeah yeah dude your house has a widow's walk dude yeah man that's gonna have a crip walk when i move in i mean it looks like a doll house that i have i love it uh yeah i've it's second I saw that movie, I've loved everything about it, including that house. The notebook house. Excellent pick.

David, time for your second and third picks. I'm going over the top Florida house. The Scarface house. Yeah, you are. Come on. Come on. The world is yours. I'm going to have a neon sign. A 360 neon sign in my

house the globe a white tiger you know what's funny that i always even when i was a kid when i saw that i'm like that's his living room technically like you walk in that's his living room his office is up either one of the staircases yeah when he's in that giant jacuzzi just smoking with carpet his bathroom first of all his bathroom's carpeted and he's got a hot tub in the middle of his bedroom it does kind of look like you know that photo of trump and melania and then baron's like off by like a stuffed tiger or something them in their apartment it does like that house does feel like a house that Trump would be like this one. Yes. I want this.

Oh, it's for sure. It's like decadence that somebody who grew up poor, like a scar face, everything where they're like tigers, hot tubs, gold, the world,

like something about the world. It's all that stuff that someone grew up poor is like, I want it. Yeah. Or do I have some news for you guys right now? What? That house. It's for sale in California.

It was last on the real estate market in 2006 for $37 million. Jesus. It is rumored that the current owner is Mark Cuban. Of course he bought the Scarface house.

This is not the first time we've clashed on places to live. Me and Cubes, this is tales of... I bet he is in there. How is it rumored? How do they not know? It has been reported that Mark Cuban is the current owner of the estate, but it's not...

I don't know. It hasn't been confirmed. I don't know. That's awesome. It's in Montecito, California, and the house has... It's one of those houses that has a name it's el furadis come on which means i feel like i've called shane that a few times it means little paradise dude oh no i haven't nice yo no socks at my shit do you want another

you don't ever fucking don't you fucking dare you wear some kind of a some type of an italian leather soft enough yeah to handle your feet you don't wear socks you put on a new pair of gucci loafers and they will be provided for provided for if you don't bring your i was gonna say there's we have a surplus in the closet fabrics breathable oh there's no wool in my shit there's none of that like you come to my house with linens and you look me in the eyes you have a second globe with neon around it that says linens at worst the world is yours and then there's linens at worst the house was designed by bertram grossvin or goodhue oh that's my third favorite architect that guy hangs out with chinese jamal more than you think

he does more than you do and they they have a garden there where they breed rare palm trees david this is your fucking spot dude yeah yeah where they breed rare palm trees i almost kind of want you to move in there with Mark Cuban and us just to get to watch that. Oh, boy. The trouble we would get into. Yeah. You guys just have your own like kind of drunk shark tank where people have to come impress you. But it's just me and Mark Cuban, very drunk.

You're in the middle. They have to swim up. You're on pool floaties and they have to swim up and pitch their idea in the deep end. You're in the middle. They have to swim up. You're on pool floaties and they have to swim up and pitch their idea in the deep end. It's called the deep end. No, we call it the bark tank. It's they have to.

The bark tank? The bark tank. The bark tank. They say, what up, dogs? I got. And me and Mark Cuban do the dog. What up, dogs? I got a wet idea for you.

Yeah, man. Scarface house is going to go. Oh, you push it to the limit. What is your third pick? My who see. So my third pick, I want to slow it down a little bit. I want to take a very nice apartment from New York City. I'm with you.

A bachelor pad. I'm taking Eddie Murphy's apartment in New York city. I'm with you. A bachelor pad. I'm taking Eddie Murphy's apartment in boomerang. Okay. Okay. I thought you were about to take American psycho house. And I was like, Oh my God, Scarface.

I'm not shaming anyone. It was just going to be a back to back, like real in like, look into your brain. It was, it's definitely, you haven't seen like a guy saying you haven't seen and then that movie like kind of dude eddie murphy's crib and boomerang is so dope you're

gonna keep it how you could have i didn't even know you could have stairs in an apartment until i saw that shit that set the precedent for like a lot of apartments I feel in romantic comedy like Swing and Bachelor romantic comedies later. Oh, dog. He has an outside like he has an outside yard that he shares with his neighbor Tisha Campbell on the roof. They always show men's

apartments in New York that are single and it's like there's no way. Like if you have two bathrooms you're you are married with a mistress like there's no way you're on the market yeah no way yeah it's astonishing and then they're like yeah i got one and a half bathrooms right now what was his job in boomerang wasn't it something like he worked in advertising of course ad exec that's the job in 10 things i hate about you yeah that's the go-to job that's the job in 10 Things I Hate About You. Yeah, he's a job. That's the go-to job.

That's the job in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Yeah. That's what I meant. I get my 10s confused. My How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and my 10 Things I Hate About You. I get the 10s confused. Two great films. Yeah, that apartment was just so cool. He like, he could cook in there.

He had all that cool, like brand new art. He had a TV, but it wasn't like the main piece of the living room. Yeah. Yeah. Just like a great New York. It was a good amount of a right.

Nineties. Gotti that I would still be like, I I'm in, I can move in as is. It felt like he could reach behind anything and pull out some cocaine but in a classy way it'd be in a container it'd be like and then a lot of like a lot of glass involved with the storage of the coke not plastic that seems like a real selling point for you in homes i mean the last two yes little nooks and crannies for coke How many bedrooms do you want

I don't really care just a lot of coke nooks and crannies I'm not going to be sleeping a lot honestly If I do all the coke that I find Nobody's going to be spending the night It's the kind of place though where a guy Where there's coke that doesn't all get done that night Exactly I want a place that also seems like

You could cut an R&B single in it You could. Does that make sense? Yeah. It makes perfect sense. Like, yeah, we tie in there. Like, yeah. Anything like we could come over and watch the game.

Why don't we actually hop in the studio? Actually. Yeah. Why don't we? The booth is open and it's wet. Let's get in there. Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis live next door. Oh, my God.

Yeah. We could just do this. That place has something soundproof, even though it's not needed. Yeah. A hundred percent. There's a reason all these cigars say Teddy Riley on them. Cause Teddy Riley gave them to me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As a house. Well, I'm sorry. I don't have a microwave. I can heat it up though.

I can heat it up. I can heat it up. That's perfect. That's an excellent pick. Sean, time for your third pick. My third pick. I want to be out in the country. I want to be by myself.

I'm going to pick the house from Ex Machina. Oh. I got to look this house up. I remember that house, but let me look at some pics. I've also not seen Ex Machina. I want a real current house with helicopter access. And this is more of an indoor experience in the house it's just one of those yeah it's one of those like real uh not a lot of frills middle

of the woods but everything's rich everything's like uh you know voice command heat command do you ever watch like um the world's most incredible houses that's a really fun show to watch when you're high and that's this looks like one of those yeah it's just one of those it does look like it looks very plain but it's in the middle of nowhere and you're just like everything in there is is very easy you could you could relax you could chill very very hard in the ex-monkey now house it's a hotel in norway that's amazing whoa and so here's a weird thing that house has a bunch of rooms if you go from the movie anyways That house has a bunch of rooms. If you go from the movie anyways, that house has a bunch of rooms that are inside with like no windows and stuff where you don't know that you're outside, which is fun to be able to go to sometimes if you're

just like, ah, middle of the day, I just want to feel like I'm, you know, alone. You can just go to this room in the basement where you can't tell if it's light or dark. You know, I could watch movies down there. I could have some day ciders down there no one's gonna yell at me because it's 90 degrees and sunny out i just do what i want you're looking for a windowless room you said you could have some day ciders i could have some day ciders oh is that what you call drinking it in the daytime like a cider yeah i've been drinking ciders lately i love ciders and you know what they actually seem like a good daytime drink it's basically apple juice yeah apple juice listen guys we all do this thing right where we're drinking something we're like

it's basically it's not yeah yeah yeah yeah white claws malt liquor yeah cider is not apple juice white claw is crocodile it's not people who never had Crooked Eye. You're like, it's just like White Claw that doesn't taste as good. I would venture a guess that the cider might be worse for you because of how sweet it is. I don't know if it's good for you. It's not good

for you, but it's delicious. But if you're in a windowless room, who cares? Nobody can see. Who's going to tell you? The Xbox in the house. Megan, time for your third pick. Okay, really really excited um the mrs doubtfire house prime san francisco real estate right there this is another their their finances were actually never discussed because you knew she was rich yeah and you're like as a grownup, you're like that house.

In the guts of San Francisco. Yes. And like the first scene, you're like, oh my God, it's great for entertaining. You know, you can throw a massive party

your wife doesn't want you to have. And yeah, I mean, it needs a housekeeper, but it's like, it's, it's understated in a way too. Like,

it's just such a, like, it looks different from the sides that like on this side of the street it looks one way and then you go to the other like the other corner and it looks a totally different way like i like it bet way better than the full house house is it on a corner no questions asked stockpile's crib is on a corner right yeah yeah it's like a big crib it's like a a big full size ass house in San Francisco. You fucking kidding me? That would be.

It's in Pack Heights, dude. That's like, I live in San Francisco for five years. I've been to Pack Heights like twice. I went to San Francisco and I had like, I only had time to visit one of them. Like it was full house or Mrs.

Doubtfire. And I was like, Mrs. Doubtfire. And there were, there were like two other dorks there besides me. But that was it. It was like.

It was a drive-by fruiting, my dear. You look just like mom. But it felt like, oh, yeah, this is like the, this is the more hidden San Francisco gem out of the san francisco gems people can pull up on you at the full house house well the full house house is right across from that wildly busy park yeah i mean i'm looking at the inside right now and it's like bright airy like it never those stairs were so cool it It never felt dated. It just always felt like, oh, it's got a beautiful landing.

It has really, really pretty architecture. I mean, Mrs. Doubtfire was in there pretending to make food in that kitchen. It's so classic. It's like, oh, yeah, I'm putting the takeout on the plates and stuff. The way that what you brought up, how it's like still somehow understated. That's that interesting thing about that San Francisco Victorian architecture where it's so of the city that like, it does like you, there's a,

that's a $15 million house or whatever. And you know, and you're just, and, but it just like, Oh yeah, that's just like a house of family would live in. Yeah.

No, it isn't. No, it's not wild. Even, but even like the fucking what's David, a house a family would live in yeah yeah no it isn't no it's not wild even but even like the fucking what's a david what was the house he lived in the sylvan house like from the outside that was once like a beautiful house you know what i mean oh it's beautiful all the houses in that neighborhood all the shout out to the richman yeah now that i like think about it it's like do you think robin williams was like trying to just get back in the house? Maybe.

Oh, yeah. That was most of that movie. We saw his apartment and it's like, oh, yeah. He's like, I got to get back in. I got to get back in. I got to get vacuuming. I got stuff hidden in there. I got a lot of cocaine hidden in that house. All these coke compartments.

Excellent pick. Time for my third and fourth picks. And then we'll make the fourth round just a lightning round. We'll only go four rounds this time because we got to go. We got shit to do today. We got shit to do. We do go on. We are conversationalists.

I got a good one for this last pick then. With my third pick, I am going to take the Hobbit hole from the Lord of the Rings. Yeah, man. Doesn't he have a name? Can you name it something? Hobbiton. Hobbiton? Hobbiton, I think. the hobbit hole from uh from the lord of the rings yeah man is that billbo's house hobbiton hobbiton hobbiton i think is it is it billbo's house is that what i'm am i thinking of the right place yeah yeah that place is so so adorable and it's in new zealand it's like built it's built into a it's built into the side of a hill like it's got a little door

and you go with that now granted i am six three it would be tough for me to exist in that house i'm thinking it's a bigger one yeah once you buy it then you just you remodel people do that exactly that all the time hobbiton was the name of the the the town i think hobbit hole was the name of the house. It just looks so cozy. It's just everything. It's just a cozy little house. It's everything you need. You go in there. You make a tea.

You have a hearty meal. It's raining outside. There's a fire in the hearth. Maybe you're listening to that song Mushaboom by Feist. You're just feeling cozy. It smells like apples and cinnamon. Yeah, exactly. And you're just in there curled up with a good book being cozy,

man. I didn't want, I got some other picks that are sprawling. They didn't all need to, this is my non-sprawling pick. Yeah, man. That is fantastic. It was definitely on my list. I just love the quaint. I like the vibe, the grass, the good vibes that they throw out around there.

Second to none. Here's a question for my final pick. This is my other questionable one. If a house is a real place, but then it's depicted in a movie, can you take that house, or is that kind of cheating? No, I think that's fine. And I want to sound

insane. Can we do two lightning rounds? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Okay. That's a great idea. And I want to sound insane. Can we do two lightning rounds? Like, can we just go? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Okay. Quick lightning. So, okay.

That's a great idea. My first lightning round pick is Balmoral from The Queen, which is the British royal family's vacation home. Okay. Where they go in the summer and like hunt. They have these like huge grounds where it's just like beautiful gardens and everything. And the house itself is just fucking gorgeous. But it's mostly so it's a place you can go be out in like the wilderness and like ride horses and like.

And there's these like gorgeous sweeping hills and everything. It's fucking beautiful. OK, absolutely. So, Megan, time for your first lightning round pick. OK, this will this is of no surprise. I'll tell you something about myself. I'm picking the Sound of Music house. Oh, that's great.

They did a couple different houses for the locations, but I did go on the Sound of Music tour with my mother in Austria. It was us and 17 nuns and then 40 gay men, but we had a great time that's a party they took us to like they took us to where the gazebo was and the gazebo is at um hell brun palace and then i think their vacation palace was from berg palace that's where they like and then the the the fountain that they dance around that's like a whole different one so they did it but whatever they whatever compilation they made that's what i like that's like the one that's like a whole different one. So they did it. But whatever they whatever compilation they made, that's what I like. That's like the one that has the ballroom, the one where she takes the curtains down to make the clothes when they are canoeing.

Like, I just love that. Yeah, it's even when she's like running up and singing like that exterior is so beautiful. So gorgeous. Yeah. Fantastic. That's a great pick. The Santa Music House, Sean. OK, now let me let me know. This's so gorgeous. Yeah. Fantastic. That's a great pick. The Santa Music House. Sean? Okay, now let me know.

This might be controversial. This person lives here. You definitely don't consider it a house, but they do live there. Okay. Goings on. I'm picking Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Yeah. Yeah. He lives there. Because you want to discreetly murder some children?

No, David. I want the candy. I murder some children yeah no david i want the candy i want i want the candy my friend i want the laboratory i want all the shit that goes on sean saying no david i want the candy no david i'd like the candy oh david i'm here yeah when i walk his chocolate factory man he lives there and that place would be dope to live at absolutely elevator that goes through the ceiling so yeah willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Yeah, you got a freaking chocolate river. As our friend and associate David pointed out, haunted by children.

But yeah, yeah. Haunted by children. What do you do? Possible slave labor. But yeah, absolutely. I got a lot of ghosts. You got a lot of ghosts, he says. I got a lot of ghosts.

David, time for your final two picks. Both lightning round picks. My last pick, I got a ticket to the. David, time for your final two picks. Both lightning round picks. My last pick, I got a ticket to the streets of Calabasas. I'm taking the Star is Born house. Oh, shit. That's in Calabasas. Talking about my ghosts. What the fuck are you talking?

You seen the end of that movie, David? Yeah, the house is on the market. Is that what you're asking me? It's available? Is that what we're... It's a beautiful home. That was their family story, not mine. Star is Born, fantastic.

Star is Born, if you will. And then the last house I'm going to take is the Wedding Crashers house. Oh, yes. Shit. Oh, fuck you, dude. I thought I had it. It's so good.

Damn it. Man. Taylor. Yeah, dude, you know you got a dope wardrobe. When he comes out and he goes, you know I'm not happy. I'd be like, those pants are sick, dude. Are you kidding? Cut those pants up, make them into shorts.

I feel like that house and the What About Bob house, they're maybe in the same neighborhood. Yeah, down the street for sure. We could barbecue. I feel like that house and the What About Bob house, they're maybe in the same neighborhood. Yeah, down the street for sure. Yeah. We could barbecue. It feels spiritually connected. There's a field, there's a yard big enough to play football in. That's beautiful. Yeah.

And then all that great yard or patio, I don't know. I think they have Adirondack. They got Adirondack. I do too. I wear an Anorak in my Adirondack. They got Adirondack. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wear an Anorak in my Adirondack.

An Anorak in the Adirondack, dude. Oh, yeah. Kickback. Catching flack in your Adirondack? Sitting in some Adirondacks. Sean, time for your final pick. Wayne Manor. Oh, that's good.

That's good. Yeah. Which one? Which one? I mean, I'm inclined to go with the Michael Keaton one. Honestly, it's always been my favorite Batman. I like Michael Keaton the best one, but OK, yeah, I get the best vibes from that one. You know, a lot of people would say like the Dark Knight would be the one to pick. i'd say but uh because that's the one like with the tumblr and all that stuff but yeah yeah i like the original one michael keaton batman it's like more of a modest manner

which i you know if you know anything about me i'm a modest manner gentleman so you're a modest manager absolutely modest manner gentleman it's the main thing i know about you uh megan your final pick my fifth and final is going to be The House from Stepmom. I don't know that. Oh, yeah. I have not seen that movie in so long. Is that Michelle Pfeiffer? It's Susan Sarandon and it's like a really

pretty, I guess it would be kind of like Victorian. It looks old and it's upstate New York. Really gorgeous. There's iconic scenes in her master bedroom. And then at one point when she gets sick, she's like sitting in a rocking chair on the front lawn with a blanket smoking a joint with her like mansion behind her. Oh, that's at the very end. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That is the best scene in that movie too, right? Where she's just getting high and you're like, damn. I like that one and when the little girl says like some weird sexual innuendo to the boy that's bullying her and then gets in trouble she's like I'll give you a snow blower and he's like what what is that

hell yeah excellent pick time for my final pick the final pick of the draft and I'm going to take Edward Cullen's house from Twilight, a movie I have not seen, but all I know is that it's in Portland, Oregon in real life and it's fucking gorgeous. It's in Northwest.

It's sick. It's a beautiful house. So I'm taking that. I have nothing to say about Twilight. I haven't seen it, but it's a beautiful house. I looked it up. Excellent draft all around. David, you went first. You took Father of the Bride House, the Scarface House, Eddie Murphy's boomerang apartment,

the Astarte's Born House, and then the house from Wedding Crashers. Sean, you went second. You took the Home Alone House, the Notebook House, the Ex Machina House, Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, and then Wayne Manor.

Megan, you went next, and then you took the Parasite House, the What About Bob House, the Mrs. Doubtfire House, the Sound of Music Palatial Manor the Stepmom House as your final one I went last and I took Jackie Trehorn's House, the Hogwarts Castle

Hobbit Hole, Balmoral a sweeping estate and I believe Scotland and then with my last pick I took Edward Cullen's House in Portland, Oregon Those are good We lost some good ones on the board Tony Stark's Crazy House from the Avengers movies We took Edward Cullen's house in Portland, Oregon. Those are good. Those are good. We lost some good ones on the board. Tony Stark's crazy house from the Avengers movies.

I mean, Downton Abbey. Downton Abbey. I didn't know if Downton Abbey was like, you know, pushing it, really. The Something's Gotta Give house. The Something's Gotta Give. It's complicated. Any Nancy Meyers. Both houses from the parent trap. Any Nancy Meyers house.

Yeah, they're awesome. Lady's Man houseboat., they're ladies man houseboat houseboat the ladies man houseboat the Beetlejuice house. I was thinking of the Beetlejuice blank check at the blank check house. You guys remember blank

check? I do remember. Yeah, with fucking dope house. I thought about Richie Rich with the frickin McDonald's and a kid a pull and a roller coaster. The Money Pit house would have been a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we want to hear yours.

Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com with your picks. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Mega shout out to super producer Marissa Melnick, who's going to have to figure out my audio because my QuickTime file said the

action could not be completed. I'm so sorry. I don't have an audio track. So if I sound weird on this episode, it's because David's microphone in the valley caught me screaming from Atwater Village. It's pretty good like that. It's a good microphone. Anyway, shout out to everyone

else. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to fucking houses, dude. Shout out to shiny vampires out in the sunlight, bro. Shout out to... What are you going to name your house? Do you have a name yet? I've got some options that I'll

run past you guys. Yeah, you said something about air the other day that i thought was pretty wavy yeah yeah yeah so there's there's some there's some stuff we'll discuss privately and then maybe we'll announce it on the live stream which has happened at this point all of that all of that but more importantly tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. Chakrakity! That was a Hate Gum Podcast.