All Fantasy Everything - Interactions With Strangers (w/ Josh Gondelman)

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

One of our riff-iest episodes to date.Guest:Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rol...ls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (@IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (@SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (@Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (@IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we are drafting Interactions with Strangers. Our guest today is All Fantasy Everything favorite, a wonderful standup comedian, a fantastic writer, an author, a wonderful friend. Josh Gondelman is back on All Fantasy Everything. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me as always are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Here we are, talking about, this will probably be in the pre-roll, but I think it needs to be on the main feed. Josh Gondelman contends that Mike Myers and Austin Powers is more important than anything Casey Affleck has done in a movie, and I think that's a good point. that if the Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump,
Starting point is 00:01:14 Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, I think important is without a doubt true. It's very important. Austin Powers mattered. I mean, there's still people that will quote Austin Powers in social settings and nobody's like, I fucking lost my fucking daughter or whatever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:33 And party. I like that that's the one movie we keep. Cause I'm not even 100% sure of anything else he's been in. I know he was in... He was in Good Will Hunting. Wasn't he in one of the oceans? Good Will Hunting. He was in Gone Baby Gone.
Starting point is 00:01:48 That movie is fantastic. Couldn't tell you one thing that happened in it. Michelle Monahan. You don't remember that movie? I don't remember it. I know it exists. And I remember people being like, that's one you should watch.
Starting point is 00:02:01 I don't know that I saw it. They kidnap and hide a girl from her mother because her mother's like bad essentially. It's a crazy story, it's really good. Sounds like it was written by a kid. Susie, but a literal baby that was gone. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was just like something you say
Starting point is 00:02:17 to sound cool like, oh. Now it sounds so stupid. I'm gone, baby, I'm gone. Is that one of the movies where you watch it? It was actually another baby that was gone. They say it in the movie, there's a part of one of the guys. I actually was gonna say movies where you watch it? They say it in the movie. That's what I was going to say. Yeah, one of the guys who goes something something. She's gone, baby, gone.
Starting point is 00:02:33 And you're like, come on, I'll say it. That makes it worse. That's what I did for sure. Anytime you say it, it's like, well, damn it, dude, you didn't need to say the title. They never need to say it, but it is. So it depends on the movie I feel like that we should draft best movies where they say it. Oh That's movies where they say the title
Starting point is 00:02:55 It would take a bunch of Research I mean, I feel like Bob Odenkirk rolling in and saying my little women is gonna make that Number one and saying, my little women is gonna make that draft. Yeah, that's number one. That's... Greta Gerwig's little women first round draft thing. My Greta Gerwig's little women. If you would have said my Greta Gerwig's little women, there should be, if you buy the 4K Blu-ray,
Starting point is 00:03:18 you know, like, whatever the top of the line DVD is, if you get it, there's a version where he says, my Greta Gerwig's Little Women. That movie, Sean, have you seen Greta Gerwig's Little Women? No. I think you'd love it. I probably would. I think you would love it.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Maybe I'll watch it on the plane tonight, who's to say? Why is your wall black? I painted it, dude. I checked in the hotel, I always paint the back wall black. That's how they know. Something about a black wall and a green wall stresses me out. No, I don't. It's an interesting hotel.
Starting point is 00:03:54 It's in an old building and not a lot of bells and whistles in this room, unfortunately. A lot of framed lithographs? What is that behind you? Is that sheet music? It looks like sheet music. Yeah. It's the facts that was sent when Michael Jordan unretired. Like what is that on the left there?
Starting point is 00:04:11 Sean hangs it up actually in every hotel room and it just says I'm back. It's all my check luggage back there. He paints the wall and hangs the facts and he's like, now I can go to sleep. Do you ever feel like there's three hotels? It's like that hotel that Sean's in that has like a Frigidaire from the 50s.
Starting point is 00:04:32 And then there's like a Hilton. I got a radiator in the room. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And you're gonna pay too much money for steel cut oatmeal. Yeah. Yeah, and then there's like mid-tier. And then there's a Hampstead Inn, which is perfect. Yeah. Everything is perfect. And then there's like mid-tier. And then there's a Hampstead Inn which is perfect. Yeah. Everything is perfect. And then there's a
Starting point is 00:04:48 fancy hotel. There's those boutique fancy suburbs. With the British people that work there. The boutique ones are like, you built this six months ago or you renovated it six months ago, not an outlet to be found. Yes. Nowhere! Come on! That's shit. Also, I guess it's cool that this was a motel. I don't know. Right. I feel like I mean, you know what I mean? Like, I guess it's cool that the door's open to the street.
Starting point is 00:05:14 They buy one lamp that has an exposed light bulb, and they think that makes up for their not being, like, anything you would need. They leave a copy, a thrifted copy of Moby Dick on the little table. You're like, oh, I was meaning to read Moby Dick, but I forgot to bring it on this business trip for two days.
Starting point is 00:05:33 I've said this before, we're in Seattle, and there's a fucking picture of Iggy Pop on the wall, but the bathroom door wouldn't shut. I'm like, what? I sure wish, I sure wish that picture of Iggy Pop wasn't there and you replaced it with a lock on the door. Yeah. Wouldn't that be dope if I have to take a poop? I'm like, what? I sure wish that picture of Iggy Pop wasn't there and you replaced it with a lock on the door. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Wouldn't that be dope if I have to take a poop? I'll take the Hampton Inn with a soft watercolor of some sailboats and a door to the bathroom. Any door to the bathroom. And not a glass corner. No. Someone working at the front desk instead of just like a tune you have to whistle
Starting point is 00:06:03 into a breathalyzer so that they let you in. Oh my God. You gotta hit the ocarina of time to get to your room. You have to name all of the Pixies albums or somebody who won't help you check into your room. The Ace Hotel, I used to stay in the Ace Hotel in Portland every time and like, I went for a hook line and sinker, but now looking back,
Starting point is 00:06:24 and especially now as like a married man, somebody who like, if I a hook line and sinker, but now looking back, and especially now as like a married man, somebody who like, if I'm staying in a hotel room, there might be another person there. There were rooms that were more expensive than regular hotel rooms where there was just a toilet in a corner, you know what I mean? Like, and that was like where the toilet was
Starting point is 00:06:39 and there was like a curtain, like a shower, like that shit happened, that was real. And I spent extra money for it. The Ace Hotels need to be bombed. They should all be bombed. Yeah, the Dugford now, they just have, it's all, there's a shower curtain or anything. In the bathroom, it's a corner that you go around, no door,
Starting point is 00:06:59 and the floor is just a little bit slanted, so the water goes into the drain, but yeah, you're just looking at the toilet. You know what's weird? I do kinda like that. No. Makes me feel like I'm washing outside. You like that loose shower?
Starting point is 00:07:11 Yeah, I like the loose shower. Like a huge loose shower. You ever taken a shower outside? It is pretty tight. Yeah, it's awesome. I've taken like a get the salt water off shower outside, but never a visual. We went, I'm sure I've told you guys outside, but never a visual. In Hawaii.
Starting point is 00:07:25 I'm sure I've told you guys this, we went to our buddy's wedding and his mom just really didn't want us hanging out in the house, so she built a shower outside for us to use at Greggy's wedding. That's how bad she didn't want us going in. In New Hampshire.
Starting point is 00:07:38 In Nashua. That's weirder than, I've been there actually weirdly. That's Nash- It's gorgeous. It's Vegas they call it. I don't know if they know it's a joke. Oh, no. Maybe it's Manchester, New Hampshire does Manche Vegas.
Starting point is 00:07:51 There's a place in New Hampshire where you're like, do you know? That's like what I would say to make fun of this city. But they like own it. They're like very proud, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, well, what is there? And they're like, the diner stays open pretty late.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Uh-huh. Yeah. And Rick can't stop betting the ponies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like well, what is there like the diner stays open pretty late And Rick can't stop betting the ponies But you can't use it cuz Rick's always there now that this fan duel any place is that place Vegas Yeah, that's true. There's a lot of fist fights. That's pretty fun Fountain as there is a fire hydrant that's been run over and the city hasn't been able to fix. Yeah, it's just hard. Frank Sinatra would punch a Jewish person here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Punch a dude who's not checking in on their wives in a timely manner. I don't know if Frank Sinatra was an anti-Semite or just generally a guy that punched. I feel like he had the anti-Semitism of the day. I feel like he fully prescribed. Yeah, I don't think he was better than the average. I think he'd be like,
Starting point is 00:08:55 chicky, you gotta get me one of those Jew lawyers for this one. Yeah, no doubt. Yeah. No doubt. The regular lawyer's not gonna take, baby. Give me something that ends in steam. Right away, Mr. Sinatra.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Sorry for the mistake. And get me one of those Mormon dentists while you're at it. I don't know. Is that what you're good at? Oh, shit. You really had me. Is that what you're good at? I remember this. I don't know. Oh, shit. You really had me. Is that what they're good at? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Oh, boys. I remember this, I don't know if this is verging on the problematic or not, but I remember my dad, his stockbroker, he was like, when my dad got like a new stockbroker or like an accountant stock guy, he was like, and he's Mormon, you know? And he was like very proud of that. I like that your dad thought you were up on that. He was like and he's Mormon, you know, and he was like very proud of that I like me your dad thought you were up on that
Starting point is 00:09:52 Yeah, I know that they're great stockbrokers dad In my 20s and he was like telling me like I can get you in with this guy. He's a Mormon What was he was he just like delighted by the novelty of meeting a Mormon? No, no, that wasn't even it. He was impressed specifically Mormon accountant. He was like, I've got a Mormon money guy, so you know what that meant. Like it was like he was wearing like... More money, more problems.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Yes! That's the Mormon accounting firm. OK, is this weird? This is going to even be, I think, actually problematic. I do kind of romanticize a time where you were like, those guys do that thing. No, I get that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Obviously, it's great that we have diversity in everything, but wouldn't it just be simpler if you were like, I need a lawyer, I'll call the jurors. Or whatever. I'll just go to this part of town. That's where they're all at. And I'll get my tooth pulled. Am I an Italian guy who will also cut your hair. I went down to Little Salt Lake City.
Starting point is 00:11:14 We should start that neighborhood in LA. Little Provo? Little Ogden. It makes the world feel like a role playing game in a very fun way. You know, we're like, I need a new sword so I have to go to the dwarves because that's who the, those, they're like the, uh, the miners and the blacksmiths, right? Yeah. You know, you know what it is?
Starting point is 00:11:37 I'm just finding that I never know what side of town to go on for what now and I don't like that. I don't even know that there's a side of town anymore. You know? I don't know that. I don't even know that there's a side of town anymore, you know? I don't know that there is anything besides gang culture. Yeah. Yeah. Gangs are the ones holding up sides of towns. God bless them for it. Sides of the tracks. Yeah, sides of the tracks, East Side. I think, I don't think most people even claim the side of a city anymore. I think you're right about that. I think that's going away. There's a train tracks close to my house and there is no difference from one side to the other
Starting point is 00:12:11 and I think that's terrible. I don't think light rail tracks count. These are trains, this is a train, I'm gonna add. Oh, oh, train tracks. This is the Amtrak, the Amtrak line cuts through. Wrong side of the monorail. Wrong side of the monorail. Wrong side of the monorail, brother! Is that the bad neighborhood in Disney World?
Starting point is 00:12:31 You wear hokas over here and I see you got on's on your feet. This is Tom's territory. Don't let me see you toes out in Birkenstock. You think you can wear a marine layer sweatshirt over here? Someone in Birkenstock, he know where you're at. Keep moving, keep moving. Nice toes you got there. It would be a pity if something happened to them there. What, you got arch support in that shoe? You got arch support? Did an impoverished child in another country get a pair of those shoes when you bought them or no? No? Well I'm afraid you're going to have to take them off. Those come with all natural toothpaste or is that a different Tom's? I've never Googled it.
Starting point is 00:13:24 No, that's a good point. Those come with all natural toothpaste or is that a different Tom's? I've never googled it No, that's a good question too Actually seem related it seems like similar. They're definitely more related Feeling the vibe of Tom's shoes and Tom's of Maine toothpaste then Michelin tires and Michelin restaurants Which are related are yes same thing, right? Yes. Yeah, they. Are related. Same thing, right? Yes. They're fully related because. They are not. Are you serious?
Starting point is 00:13:49 Sean, they are, dude. They did it because you were, it was a guide for driving through Europe, right? They were trying to get people to drive more. I think so they would use tires more. And they were like, yeah, you got to go to this restaurant in Toulouse, you know? So they would, yeah, so they put out this guide.
Starting point is 00:14:07 What? Goodyear tried to do the same thing, but it was only for restaurants floating in the sky. So it didn't get as much traction. We could have gone tires thick, we went blimp. Yeah, we're all in. You can get a crepe from the sky and a hot air balloon, but that's about as far as it gets.
Starting point is 00:14:26 God. Laura, it's got a Goodyear star. Let's go. I'm sick of all these shitty ground restaurants. There is somebody who, like, put all their money into blimps as planes went up, and his wife was just like, you see? You fucking see, Monty?
Starting point is 00:14:42 Dave Hindenburg. Yeah. Was his name Dave? No. I can't imagine. I'm guessing and I don't know. I'm throwing Klaus out there. I think Klaus is more likely. Klaus seems close. Okay, let's take a look. The Hindenburg disaster.
Starting point is 00:14:58 I'm gonna say Juan Carlos. Juan Carlos Hindenburg. Paul? Ha ha ha ha! It might as well be Dave. I'm gonna say Juan Carlos. Juan Carlos Hindenburg. Paul? It might as well be Dave. Paul von Hindenburg. Oh, the Von helps. I did not see that coming.
Starting point is 00:15:16 How cocky do you have to be to name the zeppelin after you? Right? Like the Titanic wasn't built by a guy named like, Carl Titanic. No, no, no. That guy's an arm wrestler. Carl Titanic's an arm wrestler. That would be awesome though.
Starting point is 00:15:32 It was actually Titanic Thompson. He was a linebacker. No, he was a known gambler, a noted gambler, Titanic Thompson. They say he may have been the greatest golfer of all time, but he didn't golf professionally only gambled This is all there. I mean, this is all an incredibly believable lie. It's true. It's true. Look about I'm not gonna I'm not typing that into Google right now
Starting point is 00:15:55 It's not what you think. We see up in Manch, Vegas, Nashville Oh my god, you're right. Tidana Thompson. I told you. Wow. He didn't have to do with the boat, right? No, no, no, no. This is a toothpaste and weird shoe situation. Toothpaste shoe situation. Boy, oh boy, I was just in a make in Georgia
Starting point is 00:16:19 and those, they're not Toms, but I forget what they're called, that like, Hey dudes. Hemmed shoe. Hey dudes. Those things have taken, they have a stranglehold on the south They really do yeah, it's I've seen I've noticed that as well. Yeah, they look kind of like Tom's of Tom's of shoe You know what I think it is I think they pair super nicely with an Under Armour Polo and shorts.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Like that's a going out outfit on a Saturday. The Under Armour Polo is another stranglehold on the American South. The material. On America. Yeah, on America. Yeah, I saw a few of them. You're seeing a lot of very subtle man boobs and nipples through those things, and they don't seem to care.
Starting point is 00:17:08 They look like they're made to pronounce your nipples. The lycra or whatever the fuck the material is, I mean, it just looks like it sucks up to your nipple and points it out. It's like skims. It's basically skims, but for dude nipples. Yeah, it is. An Under Armour polo makes you look like,
Starting point is 00:17:22 like if you're on a plane and for some reason Someone's having like trouble with the Wi-Fi and they're like, is there an assistant manager on this plane? I can guys and under our bullets would stand up and be like I'm ready Packard branded under our Go ahead go ahead because I just I I wanna go back to the Hindenburg. But like- It's too many ribs. Are you talking about Paul?
Starting point is 00:17:48 It's too many ribs. We're so deep. We're too many ribs deep, but I have to connect it back because there's a startling fact that I think we should have seen the disaster coming. Which is the person who designed the Hindenburg class of Zeppelin. Was Italian. PVH? It was Ludwig Dürr.
Starting point is 00:18:10 His last name was Dürr, D-U-R-R. Oh. Dürr, as in no Dürr. Yeah, what's happening? Dürr, no Dürr. Yeah. Maybe that's where it came from. Maybe because they...
Starting point is 00:18:23 But originally they said, No! D'er! You're not going to go down! D'er the humanity! Oh man. Fucking Ludwig Dyrk. Let me see if he did anything after he designed those. When was that?
Starting point is 00:18:51 The Hindenburg? What was the Hindenburg? 1981? 1984? Same joke. We had it, we had it. Yeah. It was 1937 in Lakehurst, New Jersey. Oh, man. There's a lot of lawyers over there, I think.
Starting point is 00:19:08 Oh, Lakehurst? Yeah, lawyer rich community. That's out of the tracks? Yes. Yes. That's out of the tracks? Not a lot of dentists in town. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:19:19 But the dentists have a suburb one, suburb up. And you like- Yeah, no, they got their own thing. They got their own thing. The North Shore of Chicago is like this. I have learned from Dana that like all these suburbs, which are like pretty much identical versions of each other, there's like the Jewish one.
Starting point is 00:19:34 And then like there's a Goyesha one and then another Jewish one. And they're like stacked on top of each other where they're the same suburb, but there's just like different sides of the tracks, basically. Well, not different sides of the tracks, different sides of town, but they're the same suburb, but there's just like different sides of the tracks, basically. Well, not different sides of the tracks, different sides of town, but they're like identical suburbs, but they're all just like, that's the
Starting point is 00:19:50 Jewish one. That's the Italian one. That's like, yeah, let me let me tiptoe carefully. Uh, what are the signs that you have crossed? David steeple those hands real quick. Let me smile. I just would like to know... This is evil. This is evil hand place. You look evil.
Starting point is 00:20:20 David's holding a briefcase. I just... I would just like to know... As a Jewish person, I can't steeple my hands like this, David's holding a briefcase. There's a guy behind you now. As a Jewish person, I can't steeple my hands like this or people assume I'm trying to make a deal. We call these Soros fingers. Everybody grabs their wallet. What are you doing? I Was just gonna say how do you know when you're on which side of town? Oh
Starting point is 00:20:52 Like because you said they're so they're so similar Yeah, like looking as like a lot of suburbs are the type of deli is is often Interesting. Oh, what that, like what sort of forward? Yeah. Is delicatessen more Jewish? Okay. Long for deli. It's long for deli. Man, I just had some. I just want to. Oh, I'm gonna go into a deli and tell you. You know it's actually delicatessen. I met an NBA player at a Jewish deli two days ago. Which one?
Starting point is 00:21:30 An unlikely place. An unlikely place with Caleb Herron of all people. It was insane. It was, he's not currently, uh, Thorough Bailey? He played for the Utah Jazz! I remember Thorurl Bailey! He's the guy who sang the Grinch song? The guy who sang the Grinch song? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Oh, man. Yeah, we met him at the deli.
Starting point is 00:22:07 He was a sweet, sweet man. Was he signed in Montevals? How did you know? Dude, it was crazy. You're just tapping Caleb. Is that Thrill Bailey over there? Caleb was like, for sure. I was about to say the same thing.
Starting point is 00:22:21 You know the most random kind of racist thing we pulled in? And I was like, I don't know why but that guy gives me Kareem Abdul-Javar vibes. Like I was just like cool retired NBA player That's what that guy feels like and he was sitting there by himself And then we went in and got our sandwiches and we came out and we started talking to him and it was he was there Cuz the Nuggets were playing the jazz Well, he's 6'11". Thorough Bailey. So that that's like you know you're getting context clues. That's a hint. Yeah yeah but like how were it was it was Tuesday. It was I don't know what day it
Starting point is 00:22:56 was that's not true. It was Tuesday or Thursday. It was one of the tea days. Yeah. It was tomorrow. Yeah it was tomorrow. It hasn't happened yet. It. It was tomorrow. Yeah, it was tomorrow. Hasn't happened yet. It's about to happen. It was both Caleb and I follow Thorough Bailey on Instagram and he does not follow us. And quite frankly, I respect it. Yeah. Yeah. However, by Thorough Bailey, I love that you and Caleb both followed him, though. He was amazing. I went home and I went home and watched highlights
Starting point is 00:23:25 because he was like he let it be known. He was like, he was like, I played with Stockton and Malone. Yeah. Wow. He was like, what the, he was a very sweet man. People don't remember this, but Thorough Bailey was a bucket. Thorough Bailey was a problem. Thorough Bailey, who played for the Jazz from 83 to 91
Starting point is 00:23:45 and then again in 1999, I think, although just to retire, converted to Latter Day Saints. He's a dentist? So is he an accountant now? He's an accountant, he's good. I'm gonna have to do the same thing after you. Thorough Bailey is, shall we just say. Ian's dad's accountant.
Starting point is 00:24:04 My dad's accountant is Thorough Bailey. He's we just say. Ian's dad's accountant. What, he was Thorough Bailey? My dad's accountant is Thorough Bailey. He's like it was Big T. It was. When you're up that high, you can see the deals coming from further away. He knows his way around the bicuspid, if you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Oh, that's crazy. That's an unbelievable commitment to the Utah Jazz. Yeah, he really went for it. Well, I will say, in sitting with him, he is committed to Utah. That's beautiful. He says he raised his kids out there. He is just a great, great man.
Starting point is 00:24:42 That's amazing. Great man. Hell yeah. Bailey is chairman of Big T Productions in a company called Fertile Earth, which has a patent pending on a fertilizer that works through irrigation sprinkler systems, so. That felt like he could be up to anything.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Completely a sprinkler for shit. Sounds like he, yeah. Come on, come on man. Throw Bailey shit sprinkler. That's what you called him in the paint. Yeah. He's just standing there. He's coming down the lane.
Starting point is 00:25:15 He's like, you don't want none of the shit sprinkler, baby. I'll tell you that. I'm covering everybody. They won't get sprinkler. They won't say my nickname on the broadcast. Nobody knows who did it unless you were there. The old double S in the post there. That's the closest they'll get.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Now wait a minute. Thorough Bailey is also a singer-songwriter and his albums include, he has three albums, 1998, Faith in Your Heart. In 2001, he released The Gift of Christmas. And in 2002, a little bit of a darker period, I'm Not the Same. We gotta get him on the pod, man. We're glossing over a nasty divorce in 2001. We're loving, this guy has had an incredible career.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Yeah. Can I tell you how nice he was to talk to? It was like his voice sounds like he would deliver Christmas. It was it was an amazing experience Beautiful he left and me and Caleb were just like I think I I think I tossed around the word mentor I would like him to be my mentor? Yes, yeah. Or like, I think he has become my mentor? Ah! Were you able to peep the deli order? What was he, what was he working on?
Starting point is 00:26:33 No, I was dealing with a huge turkey sandwich myself. Yeah. In this Jarlsberg? He was just giving out little bibles. What is it, Jarlsberg cheese? Jarlsberg. Jarlsberg, yeah. They really, they're doing some stuff over there. Yeah, in the Jarlsberg district?
Starting point is 00:26:50 Yeah, next time you guys come to Denver, we'll go to Levin. That's the Jarlsberg suburb. Levin, L-E-V-I-N or L-E, like how is it spelled? I think it's L-E-V-E-N. L-E-V-E-N, okay, okay. I bet it's run by a Levain though. Like what you don't do to your bread. Passover coming up, steer clear.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Yeah, don't go there. Is it unleavened bread? Yeah. Yeah. That's the matzah. Lots of flourless cakes. Just some of the worst things that the world has not. Flourless cake sounds like flat ass. What a nice way to say it. Baby girl.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Man, that's a flowerless little cake. Sean S. Jordan is here. Sean Patrick Jordan is here. Sean Cougarmel Jordan on Instagram. He's in Fort Collins. He's painted it black. Jordan is here. Sean Patrick Jordan is here. Sean Cougarmel Jordan on Instagram. He's in Fort Collins, he's painted it black. Yeah, yeah. He's sitting on the four post bed. Sean, thanks everybody.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Thanks for coming out to the shows, they were fantastic. Had myself a night in Fort Collins last night. Did you? Did you go out? Yeah, yeah, Adam was here, Rude Boy was here. We, yeah, we had a crew. It was fun. Did you go on that little strip where all the,
Starting point is 00:28:03 I mean, it's all college. I mean, till midnight. I can't handle these college kids. It's I'm like, no, I can't Just they're just children. I just feel crazy at a college bar. It's like I'm hanging out with kids So we were out till maybe midnight or something But yeah, come see us in New Orleans. That's all that's all I got. Enjoy the patreon it rules. We're having fun over there It's coming right out. David boring is here cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram Hell yeah. Uh, uh, South.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Where you going, Rapid? Where you going, Rapid City? Yeah, April 5th and 6th I'll be in Rapid City, South Dakota at the, is it West River? I'm not gonna tell you. I think it's the West River. It's whatever shit stream they got out there. Whatever shit sprinkler. Yeah, whatever shit sprinkler they got going on over there. Whatever shit sprinkler.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Yeah, whatever shit sprinkler they got going on over there. The club is named after that. Google it'll be the one black guy in town on April 5th and 6th. Google black guy in rapid? No, it's the first thing that comes up. April 5th and 6th I will be at that comedy club. And then April 20th and 26th I'll be at the Dallas Comedy Club, now featuring more Zach Tuscani. He's going to open.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Hey! We're going to be in Dallas. That club is so fun. And then, yeah, May, may come and come and see us. It was going to be, man, I'm excited. It's going to be a good time. Me too. I'm very excited. Josh Gondelman is here! Josh Gondelman on Blue Sky, Josh Gondelman on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Where else can the people see you? I'm ostensibly on TikTok, but I don't really spend a lot of time there. I have a newsletter called That's Marvelous. JoshGondelman.substack.com that I send out every Monday. It's for free. I'm gonna be at the Comedy Attic in Bloomington this coming weekend, April 4th and 5th, if it's up by then. And then I'm doing a show at Moon Tower for the first time. It's my first time at Moon Tower in Austin on April 17th. All the information, joshgoneman.com or joshgoneman.substack.com and I'll update you every week, my whereabouts and what have yous. It's a real fun festival.
Starting point is 00:30:24 I'm excited. Moon Tower. It's a real fun festival. I'm excited. Moon Tower, yeah. I've literally never done it. Nope, never been invited. It's one of those ones where it's like, I've been put up for it, where it's like, oh, you just don't, you just don't want it.
Starting point is 00:30:37 It's one person who books it too. So it's like down to, I don't even want to say anything else because I don't want to- I crossed him up. Me getting, and you crossed him up. It's somebody you crossed- I don't even wanna say anything else because I don't wanna- I crossed him up. Me getting, and you crossed him up. It's somebody you cross, yeah. And you're in India playing. Yeah, me and Big T, I sprinkled him with shit.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Yeah, he slipped on some of the diarrhea in the paint. So I didn't take that. It's Lofonzo Ellis. Lofonzo Ellis books the festival, and you know what happened between you and Lofonzo Ellis. We don't need to talk about it on here. Yeah, that's not, what's understood ain't gotta be explained, you know what I mean you and LaFontana. We don't need to talk about it on here. Yeah, that's not... What's understood ain't gotta be explained. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:31:06 Yeah. They made a whole documentary about it. Josh, have you been to Austin post... comedy mothership? What's with the term you're gonna... POST mothership landing? I think I technically have, but I was there like Christmas Eve weekend in...
Starting point is 00:31:28 At Cap City, which I really like that club. But I, because it's a little further outside of like the downtown area and it was like December, I think 22nd and 23rd, there was like nothing going on. So in town, you know, it wasn't like a good time for like finding people and hanging out. So I didn't get to steep myself in the full Austin-ness of it. There's a real movement happening there. Like when you're in that Comedy Mothership, like Sixth Street area, like there's a real thing.
Starting point is 00:31:58 It's like the Harlem Renaissance, but the opposite of that. It is literally... They're still saying the N-word at the same rate. Yeah, it is literally the exact opposite of that. It is literally. They're still saying the N word at the same rate. Yeah. It is literally the exact opposite of that. Yeah, but it's that thing where you're like, there's something happening in the streets,
Starting point is 00:32:11 but it's the. Oh, you can taste it. You can taste it. You move from club to club, but like, it's the opposite. It's, there is no Langston Hughes. There is no Langston Kerman. There is no. There was once, we didn't have a great length. There is no Langston Hughes. There is no Langston Kerman. There is no we didn't have a great time It's gotta be top five. Yeah, I put him in the top five and he's not five. He's not five. He's not four Can't think of any other Langstons.
Starting point is 00:32:45 There's gotta be some other Langstons. Langston Galloway, who's that? I know that name. Basketball player, right? It is, yep, that's right. He's gotta be top five too. And he's appearing at the Comedy Mother Show, Langston Galloway, you can see him.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Katie Langston. Who's Katie, wait, what? Katie Lang. Katie Lang. Oh, is that her name? Is that what that's? Is that? There's no way her last name is short for Langston. No, she doesn't. People shorten their last names all the time, you guys. They did. And it was Island Jess. Oh, you really fucking got me. She was Katie Langston.
Starting point is 00:33:16 God damn it. No, her name is Katherine Dawn Lang. I was gonna go and I was gonna go tell my girlfriend right now that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was gonna go tell her that I was You really fucking got me. God damn it. Her name is Katherine Don Lang. I was gonna go and I was gonna go tell my girlfriend right after this. No harm in telling her that. Now I gotta think up some other anecdote to explain where I've been for two hours. Tell her about the Mormon accountants.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Tell her maybe the two years you've been in a Mormon account. Ludwig Dürr. I bet you'd love to hear about him. Yeah, yeah. You know how I've been saying I like it when certain people are on certain sides of towns? Yeah. He's like, yeah, I need to say it out loud.
Starting point is 00:33:54 You guys should go out in the yard and talk about it. Go out front. Go to an out-crowned outdoor cafe. You're out there like, Alana, come outside. My name is Ian Carmel, crowded outdoor cafe out there like, Alana, come outside. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Blue Sky, Instagram, TikTok, IK CoolJu on YouTube, you can follow me over there. You gotta get it back.
Starting point is 00:34:14 I have nothing to promote, huh? You gotta get Ian Carmel back on YouTube. I gotta claw Ian Carmel. I bet there's a way, and I'm just too stupid at the internet, and it's not a priority right now, but there must be a way. Come see us in New Orleans.
Starting point is 00:34:28 That's really all I have on the calendar right now. Unless you're, oh, the merch we have is beautiful. It's really beautiful. Limited quantities, we've decided. Mm-hmm. We will. Not me, my merch is in unlimited funds. We've got endless, endless merch.
Starting point is 00:34:50 We can get more though. We can get more. If you guys really like it, we can get more. Maybe we drop a taste online. First hits three. I think that's a good idea. We're doing merch we've never done before. Like types of merch we've never done before. Honestly, merch that's never been done before.
Starting point is 00:35:06 I kind of think you're right. I think this is the first. Can we drop the BH on them? Let's drop the BH on them. We got bucket hats, y'all. Fuck yeah. That's good. They're dope, dude.
Starting point is 00:35:19 These kids are wearing bucket hats. I saw like three last night. They're back. Oh yeah. These kids are wearing bucket hats. We've been wearing bucket hats for decades. I'm gonna have one on all weekend. Yeah. I'll be the guy in the bucket hat. He'll be a guy in a bucket hat.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Yeah, it's New Orleans, baby. You're not gonna be... That's a deep roster. I'll be the guy with a three-foot whalebone in a bucket hat. I'm gonna fill a tube in with jambalaya. I think you think that you're setting yourself apart, you're really only blending in more. I'll be the guy with beads, a three foot whalebone and a bucket hat. On Bourbon Street, wearing hay dudes. I'll be the one guy with sunglasses on at night, beads, a three foot whalebone and a bucket hat.
Starting point is 00:36:01 You'll be that guy FaceTiming his wife from Bourbon Street. With the whale look. One street up. and a bucket hat. You'll be that guy FaceTiming his wife from Bourbon Street. No, I had like two beers. One Street Up, you're gonna be, I think it's the jet lag. I think that's why I sound like this. No, I didn't lose my voice. The guys who go one street off of Bourbon Street to FaceTime their wives. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Yeah. If you listen, I'm always wheezing, so it's not just right now. Yeah, we were at Preservation Hall all night. Yeah. Yeah, between there and going to church, I just exhausted. I love the architecture here. I just love the architecture. It's a really great food city.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Yeah. Did you know Flannery O'Connor lived here? If you have too many beignets, you can't remember what happened last night. It's crazy. So come see us there, May 8th, 9th, and 10th. We're going to be in New Orleans. 9th and 10th. 8th is when we land. That's it.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Watch my special, Comfort Beyond God's Foresight, buy my book, T-Shirt Swim Club, and just be excellent to each other. That's it. You know I actually wrote that. You know I actually wrote special. I'm the one that wrote that. Thank you very much. Did you know that, Ian? What'd you write?
Starting point is 00:37:14 I wrote your book. That's right. It's finally time to release that information to the public. The statute of limitations has expired. Sean wrote one. I mean, you wrote, you ghost wrote all the comedian books, right? Yeah. Yeah, what are they? I did them. And I don't read.
Starting point is 00:37:29 What's that Jesus Vodka one? That was you? I don't know, but I did it. Sounds like Chelsea Handler. Yeah. Are you there, VodkitsMeChelsea? Yeah, why did I put Jesus in it? Sean and Sean.
Starting point is 00:37:40 When will Jesus bring the vodka? Who's that? Yeah, when will Jesus bring the pork chops? Yeah, that's that's That's a George Carlin Chelsea Handler mixtape. Yeah, I'm like Gary Underwood songs to me. That was danger Mouse mixed their books together What an outrageously specific reference. The year was 2004. And honestly, we thought Danger Mouse was going to change the world. Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:38:13 We didn't have a girl talk. We thought it was over. It was going to change. We listened. My wife, Maris, and I did a little road trip to a family gathering for my family last summer, and we listened to a bunch of Girl Talk, still hits. Still hits. Oh, it's good. Yeah, for sure. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:38:30 I will throw it on at the gym because you like, sometimes when you're like really struggling on the treadmill and you're like, oh, this song is four minutes and it just started. On Girl Talk, you lose track of time because it just moves so fast. You know what you should do is bring a Beats pill next time. Like, bring that to the gym. You the guy with girl talk on the pill at the gym? No! Sean, calm down. He's already married.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Oh, my God. Three other very specific millennials are, like, nodding along and everyone else is having the worst time of their lives. Think, when this ends in an hour and a half, can you play maps by the yeah yeah yeah. I'm just gonna listen to this one song and then we're done. It's like an hour and a half.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Is this Night Ripper? I wanna show, I was just in Macon performing at the attempt to break the World Kazoo record. Wait, you say attempt? They did not accomplish it. Oh, you didn't say that in the text. They didn't break, well, listen, the spirit of the attempt was so strong
Starting point is 00:39:35 and the evening was so whimsical and fun that the attempt was almost secondary, is what I'm saying. That's what, that's a, spoken like a true bronze medalist. I still don't fully understand The attempt was almost secondary, is what I'm saying. That's what, that's a... How far short did they fall? I still don't fully understand what they were trying to do. I like... I'll do you one worse. I don't partially understand.
Starting point is 00:39:54 So the kazoo was invented in Macon, Georgia, although in doing quite a bit of research into the kazoo, because I wrote 45 minutes of kazoo material That is even up for debate that because you a Let's go We've been talking about it for a month. None of us thought of that It started as a kazoo and ended in a friendship Kofrickotherhood almost.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Kazorprit is just so much better than anything else I could. Kazom-rot-kaz-kaz-kazom-rotary? Kazom-rotary. It sounds like you're singing that song double Dutch buzz. Kazorprit? Kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz-kaz Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo?
Starting point is 00:41:00 Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? Kazoo? They fell short by I think about a thousand people the record is like five thousand two hundred um But the kazoo was invented and making by somebody named alabama vest although no all of this is a whole Was it like a penicillin thing like on accident like he spilled something on something intentional Oh, he tried to make a trumpet for dogs
Starting point is 00:41:30 Alabama best down there in the basement, you know, he's working on his thing Just he's like he said i'm gonna try invent one more thing and if this doesn't work out i'm going to law school For god's sake that's crazy um but it was there's some real like they're incredibly nice people in Megan. Shout out to Aaron Buzza. Shout out to Chris. Shout out to Spencer. Shout out to Charles. Shout out to Creekside Mornings Radio. Shout out to Sam. Shout out to Fresh Produce Record Company.
Starting point is 00:41:59 They have an amazing record store there. I met Otis Redding's daughter and grandson. Otis Redding's grandson listens to all fantasy everything. Like for real or like in that way where you meet people and they say that they listen? I think he has listened. I don't know if he's an every episode guy. Pretty red.
Starting point is 00:42:16 God, we really gotta tighten up. I know, we really do. We've been going. I didn't know the Reddings were watching. The Reddings are watching. We're 45 minutes in. I'll tell you, Otis Redding's grandson, this'll come as no surprise, handsome fella.
Starting point is 00:42:28 Yeah, oh my God. Handsome fella. Are there some families that are just handsome forever? I think so. I think so. Yeah. Makes sense. Because it begets more handsomeness, although sometimes two really hot people will have a kid and they turn out a little,
Starting point is 00:42:43 well, they're striking, but I wouldn't call them beautiful. I really feel the worst for those kids. Yeah. Yeah. That's the worst to be like, both your parents are hot. Yeah. That's a tough. And then you're looking at Dakota Johnson
Starting point is 00:42:56 and you're like, how come that didn't happen to me? Right. Yeah. I would rather both parents smart me not smart than both parents hot me busted. Wow, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, that's true. I would rather be much dumber than my parents
Starting point is 00:43:14 than much uglier. Yeah. Cause it's less striking. Cause you can just keep your mouth shut. Yeah. That's why you just sit there. You can't keep your face shut. No.
Starting point is 00:43:23 Ha ha ha ha. As much as we'd like you to. Ugly there and look pretty. You can't keep your face shut. No. Ha ha ha ha. As much as we'd like you to. Totally, totally laugh. Ha ha ha ha. But shout out to Macon, it's a beautiful town. We gotta go sometime. I'm down. Hour and a half outside of Atlanta, really cute.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Had some good chicken wings at the Piedmont Brewery. Oh, yeah. I've never had bad food in the South, I don't think. No, verified. We need it. I'm trying to think. If I spread it out, I don't think I've ever actually had bad food. I was in Mobile, Alabama this week, and we got to this bar after the show, and they were
Starting point is 00:43:57 like, ah, the kitchen just closed. But the manager says you can order Door Dash to be delivered here out to the lawn if you want. But also, he has 50 pounds of free crawfish and we were all like hell. Yeah I saw that Instagram story and I had no idea. I thought I was like sick I thought I'd miss right. I was like Do I have the measles what's going on? I was like Josh is fucking wasted You have the measles? What's going on? Or like, I was like, Josh is fucking wasted. He's talking to me.
Starting point is 00:44:25 The next morning, just like still charged up about it. It was me, Chris Duffy, Nagin Farsad, Alison Leiby. And the guy was just like, and so the waitress was like, he says he has 50 pounds. Do the app say what he says? She goes, well, she goes, he had 50 pounds of free crawfish. And we went, huh?
Starting point is 00:44:43 And we looked over and the guy was just standing behind a giant tray of crawfish and just waved hello. It's like, my crawfish and I saw you across the box. That's almost too much free crawfish. It was way too much. I think it's too much crawfish. Yeah, it dropped the free. Yeah, it was too much. They, it's too much crawfish. You dropped the free. Yeah, it was too much.
Starting point is 00:45:06 They, I guess they have it to sell, but we'd gotten past the part where they were like selling food and they had so much leftover crawfish. Oh. And so they just gave us a bunch and they had the, you know, the corn and the potatoes. I just like ate one of those spicy potatoes with my hand like an apple.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Yeah. Crawfish is like pistachios. It takes a lot of work to get full. That's right. Yes. So we still did order pizza as well. We were like, we're just cron down, that'll be dinner. I've done that before, but it's like, it takes a while.
Starting point is 00:45:35 You gotta come in. It's a calorie neutral food because you have to work so hard to get it, you know? That's true. Yeah, it's like iceberg lettuce. Yeah. I've never had crawfish in like a predictable situation. It was that I bought a bag out of a van one time.
Starting point is 00:45:51 I was in Shreveport and I was like, what's good to eat here? And then my like cab driver was like, I know the way. And just like took me to a trailer. And the guy was like, how many bags of crawfish do you want? And then the deranged behavior, I brought them to the airport because that's where I had to go.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Brought them through security and ate them in the airport food court. Sorry, David, I steamrolled in. No, no, no. I was just gonna say something about unpredictable crawfish being a scar band. That is a good name. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:24 I've had somebody pop the trunk on crawfish for me in New Orleans where it was a they were they were popping the trunk on crawfish and I think they had a barbecue back there that's I that happened to me once the first time I went to New Orleans I remember walking down the street I think we were on magazine street I was drunk on hurricanes I was like 20 and I remember some guy had his trunk open and he was grilling meat out of the trunk yeah I was like I was like brother hurricanes. I was like 20. And I remember some guy had his trunk open and he was grilling meat out of the trunk. Yes. And I was like, brother, I'm never leaving Louisiana. Yeah. I think it's more likely that it wasn't the same guy than it was. I feel like that's just the thing people do down there.
Starting point is 00:46:56 I think it's, I would honestly get back into driving if that was a perk. Once the Overton window shifts into you can have a barbecue in the back of your car, that's just the world you live in then. Yeah, yeah, now I'm never gone from the beach. Yeah, right, do you take a whiff? I just post up at the beach. It seems insane that we have a draft to do.
Starting point is 00:47:22 Carb-a-Q! Carb-a-Q is good. We can't do anything else now, you just said Carb-a-Q, we have a draft to do. Carb-a-Cue? Carb-a-Cue is good. We can't do anything else now. You just said carb-a-Cue, we have to stop. That's it. We can't do the episode. It's too good. We're gathered here.
Starting point is 00:47:38 Primarily to talk about carb-a-Cues, but also to fantasy draft interactions with strangers. A wonderful idea brought to us by the wonderful Josh Gondelman. The way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors, play between the three of you and we throw and shoot. All right, here we go.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, David wins a paper against two scissors and a natural victory, flying in the face of God. But she... John. Probably with it. Ally. One of the good ones. David, as the winner, is coming upon you. I like sexist guy who thinks God is a woman but blames her for the world's problems.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Of course you're a woman. How could she, a loving god, let this happen? A sleep at the wheel, I think. Oh, she must be going through menopause right now. Just a real asshole about it. Good thing we're only paying her 67 cents on the dollar. Can you imagine what she'd do with the whole thing? I don't even tithe when I go to church anymore.
Starting point is 00:48:42 I just put 6.7 percent of my salary and the thing Really ran out of steam at the end My head hurts from these bits that's sorry That's like no in a good way You can take that bit home and like that's a sort of like have fun with it However, you want to we don't need to do all the work on it. You know what I mean? Yeah I love a make your own bit. It's like at home.
Starting point is 00:49:06 It's a coloring book bit. We've, like Josh sort of traced it out for you. Now you take it home and however you wanna have fun with sexist guy who believes God is a woman. God is a woman. Enjoy. If you have a lot of fun with it, hit him up on Venmo or just join his sub stack, you know,
Starting point is 00:49:22 just join the newsletter. Sexist feminist. That's marvelous for God's sake. David is the winner. It is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft.
Starting point is 00:49:32 And what is that? That's a great question. When I pee in the snow, I go back and forth. It's kind of like that. The man's doing it. The man is cooking, still in his Hemingway era. Yeah, wow. You guys do that when you pee in the snow?
Starting point is 00:49:43 No, I write my name. Or I, until I run out of. I write era. Yeah, wow. You guys do that when you pee in the snow? No, I write my name. Or I, until I run out of it. I write your name too, so. I haven't peed with an oar in a long time. Sean runs over and dots my eye. Yeah. I was saving a sprinkle for you. His sprinkle and shit sprinkle.
Starting point is 00:50:03 That's what they were gonna call me about the rock status. The Klitzko premise. Can I get a name for the reservation? What's actually two days? and shit sprinkle. That's what they were going to be rubbing rocks at us. Can I get a name for the reservation? What's actually two names? Shit and piss sprinkle. The Sprinkle Brothers. You could have just said sprinkle. You could have just let it be sprinkle.
Starting point is 00:50:16 That would be kind of tight. The Sprinkle Brothers, they would say that. You're reading it as Sprinkle Brothers pastries. It's not what you think. It's bad. You will get diphtheria. David, basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. With that in mind, what would the order of today's draft be?
Starting point is 00:50:37 I would like to go, no, actually let's go Josh, David, Sean, Ian. I could go with Sean, Ian. I would like to go, no, actually let's go Josh, David, Sean, Ian. Hot corner. Josh can go first. Josh, David, Sean, Ian, that is the order of the draft. This is a tough one.
Starting point is 00:50:55 This is a tough one to open on. I said toughed, this is a tough one for me. Uh, we're about to get to the first pick, which belongs to Josh, 54 minutes into the podcast, right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by DraftKings. Now, I'm gonna ask you a question.
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Starting point is 00:53:00 And we're back welcome back to all Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed. This is it, folks. We are drafting interactions with strangers. Josh Gondelman has the first pick. All right. Well, I feel like there's a big one here that I'm going to leave on the table because it's not relevant to my life at this point as a long married man.
Starting point is 00:53:23 I know what you're talking about. I'm going to say, number one overall pick, a lot of pressure, I'm going drive by compliment. Oh yeah. Oh, that's a great one. I didn't even have that on my list. I was on my way to a party for my wife has a book coming out in July. They were doing a little pre-release party at her agent's house. I was walking over a man with a a man with his arm around a woman,
Starting point is 00:53:47 as we're passing goes, I love your sweater. And I go, thank you. The next person I saw went, hey man, I love your shoes. It was the best day I've ever had. That amazing. Can I say New York is great for that? As much as people are like, I'm out of my way, I'm walking here,
Starting point is 00:54:05 I feel like I've gotten the most compliment on shit in New York that I'm wearing. Yeah, because you're amongst people and they're used to being amongst people, you know? And they're up on shit in a way that like these, these hillbillies in Denver are. Yokels. We have a new dog in our household. People stop us and go, that's a cute dog.
Starting point is 00:54:28 And every time I'm glad to hear it. I love that. So Maris Kreisman, I wanna burn this place down, by the way, the name of the book coming out. Oh yeah, July 1st from HarperCollins, but it is available for pre-order now. That's Phil Collins' publishing house, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:47 It's run by Emily in Paris. The Sprinkle Sisters. Oh, gross. That sounds like a euphemism. I don't like that. It's a little fraught, drive by compliment. I think you can do it. I don't want to say this definitively,
Starting point is 00:55:05 because I know I don't want to co-sign street harassment, cat calling, but I think if you give a specific gentle compliment and keep it moving, most of the time it doesn't cause any trouble. Yeah. Try to not have it be about a body part and then it's all good, you know?
Starting point is 00:55:21 Not about a body part, but if you're like, those nails look incredible finger nail compliment you know right that's not what if it's their neck like beautiful neck that's even worse run away run away they think you're just looking, the small of your back looks amazing. Yeah. Your dangle-a-tache. The more you're sitting the physical couple in,
Starting point is 00:55:50 the more deranged it sounds. I want to guide you through a museum on that small back. That big toe is bulbous. I like it. I've seen that thing three streets down. That being said, if somebody was like, hey, pretty eyes. Oh yeah. I like that.
Starting point is 00:56:08 I don't know why that was the guy who said that. Yeah. Danny DeVito is complimenting you on your beautiful eyes. I would love that. The getting specific, like a clothing items that will, the power that strangers have of like moving something up in your rotation, then that becomes your sweater. Oh yeah. That, uh, Oh yeah. That becomes that you're like, I, for, for, for years,
Starting point is 00:56:34 I had this like this cardigan. It was a Kith one where it has like trees and a mountain on it. Oh, I know that it's a great sweater. Thank you very much. I got like a couple of compliments on it the first time I wore it, and it like... I'm like, well, that's my sweater now. That's at the front of the rotation. That's my like... That's my fucking shooter. That's my Doug Funny green vest.
Starting point is 00:56:53 Yes! That is... The ball is in his hands, you know, like when the clock is winding down in that sweater's hands. And you can just do that to someone. I'll say this. Men, we gotta do more man on man compliments. Absolutely. So much more. So much more. Absolutely. If your boy smells good, tell him he smells good.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Yeah. Also if he smells bad, tell him he smells bad though. That's also important. Radical honesty. What's the good way to do that? I know breath that's like, hey, you want some gum? I mean, obviously, if anyone ever offers you gum, I always take it. I think sometimes you have to be like, I think it's a harder pull,
Starting point is 00:57:33 but you sorta just gotta be like, hey, your shit's kicking, bro. Yeah, you gotta go with pure heart. You just gotta like, it's like, don't, because when you're like, hey, you want some gum, you're like offering, and they have an out. Yeah. Even it's like an unspoken, does not everybody, hey, you want some gum? You're like offering and they have an out. Yeah, but it's like an unspoken is it not does not everybody know that if someone Oh, you never offer somebody gum and they didn't take it.
Starting point is 00:57:51 And you're like, I think you want some. I think you really got to push it a second time, because sometimes people are just offering like if they're happy. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. If people offer me gum, I'll be like, is my shit kicking? Yeah. Same. Yeah, I know. They're like I'll be like is my shit kicking. Yeah They're like you could use a little I think you just gotta go in that's part of your role as a friend and just be like Pull them in they know they love you, you know And just I mean we've we've talked about this before but I tried wearing a yellow hoodie one time and Ian was like, hey, man
Starting point is 00:58:25 That's not the look. It was washing you out. It was washing you out. I couldn't have my guy out there. Can I need it? I was just saying this. You know what also looks crazy on white guys is too bright of a pink. Yeah. Like, well you got this cool, Sean. But I'm talking about, you see that shit sometimes,
Starting point is 00:58:40 it's like, man, you're a mess, big dog. I've been guilty of that. It's a lesson. A big pink? Going out looking fully cooked salmon, yeah. Yeah, it's rough. It's rough. It's rough.
Starting point is 00:58:53 It is, because it's such a fun color. It is. Yeah, it's so fun. Yeah. You always feel cool wearing pink. As a white guy, you got to go more of a pale pink. It's got to be more of like a washed out pink, if you're going to be wearing it, I think.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Yeah, I had a big pink t-shirt I used to wear. Surprise, surprise. Out to the bar, sunglasses at night. That don't look like it. I'm not surprised at all. If you're real tan, you can do it. If you get real tan, then you can do it. What if I'm really red?
Starting point is 00:59:17 Probably not then, huh? That's worse. That's making it worse. Are you okay? Yeah. You've brought up this worry about being red a lot lately. I got so sunburned yesterday. You should have seen me last night I was freaking out in the green room and everyone's like What do you I'm like you guys don't see this going nuts like my face the lights is gonna make it more red
Starting point is 00:59:33 You should have gone up there with ski goggles on real son, right? Dude, cuz then people have been like, oh this guy was hitting the take them off real quick. Yeah, sorry I was just on the slopes bro hitting the cold smoke David it's not's your first pick? I think this is the most intimate thing you can do with a stranger with your clothes on, dancing. Ooh. Very good. It's so, it's so like, it can be so,
Starting point is 00:59:57 I'm not even talking about, I'm just talking about like at a street festival or something. You know when you're dancing and somebody kind of comes in your vicinity and both of you like, okay Okay. Yeah That's it's so good. Someone's aunt that you don't know at a wedding Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. It's like dancing with a stranger. It's like I Feel like we all need to do it at least a couple times a year
Starting point is 01:00:32 Yeah, just to remember that hey, we're just we're together. We're we can connect this. You know what I mean? It's nothing We're all going to be grinding people need to chill There's a space for grinding on the stranger You know, there's a talking part before the Jagged Edge song that I didn't know existed where he just basically talks about, yeah, I was dancing and she gave me a boner. Do you know that part of that song I'm talking about? I mean, next. They cut that out for me.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Sorry, next. Yeah, yeah, that baby one. There's a talking part. Jagged Edge is trying to get married, Sean. Yeah. Sorry, Jagged Edge. And get married remix. They're trying to get married and. And get married remix. Sorry, Jagged Edge. And trying to get married remix. That's so funny.
Starting point is 01:01:05 That's the second marriage. It's very funny that the band's name is Jagged Edge and that's like, that's their big song. Come on. Well, also where the party at. Yeah, I just heard that the other day. That's a little more of a Jagged Edge. Which by the way, I want to say where the Bacardi at, come and mix it with the Chris, Nelly, you know what's wrong with that.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Yeah. That was a crazy thing to say. That's gross. That sucks. That sucks and you should know how to party better. You just freestylin' cocktails. We know you're gettin' money on the low from them, but like, just to mess it in a little bit,
Starting point is 01:01:40 but give me a mixer, give me something, put the little peach juice on there, guamanector. Champagne and Bacardi? Yeah. God, that sounds like a farmer. I me some little peach juice on there Hey in Bacardi I'm trying to get remix married We're at Jackie Nigg's wedding. They do the traditional champagne and Bacardi toast. Yeah And then you're like careful that's how you lost the first marriage And then you're like, careful, that's how you lost the first marriage. But yeah, dancing. Dancing with a stranger, I think it's like, preferably outside of your age bracket as
Starting point is 01:02:14 well. It's good. It will flip your perspective. You're like, if you're, if you're feeling pessimistic about the world, that will turn the optimism on. You're like, look at us. We're just out here dancing. I think David, that's such a good point
Starting point is 01:02:25 outside your age bracket. I know, I think your listeners will take this in a good faith in which it's intended, but you're like at some birthday party, you're dancing with like a four-year-old. They're going wild. That's a fun afternoon. Or you're dancing with like an old, old man.
Starting point is 01:02:39 Old man is good. Yeah, it's just like, it's like. He's just doing a shoulder thing. Oh my God, like, I feel like we've's just like, it's like he's just doing a shoulder thing. Oh my god like I feel like we've gotten so like maybe Interneted that we really have these I don't feel like people hang out with people outside of their age group anymore Myself included it Me too. Yeah, it's all I'm trying to get some more old friends. It's being a four-month old but like when you hit like a dance floor and you see the old guy who's like doesn't have all the physical
Starting point is 01:03:07 But you're like that guy used to fucking get oh, yeah in the day when he still has a few of the moves You know like he can still do a couple thing like Jordan on the Wizards where you're like he still has Yeah, yeah, he can't sky like he used to but he's still got a few of those moves Yeah, but he has a bone. He's got his butt. His butt's really making some space. Yeah, that thing is swinging man. Yeah Exactly. Oh, he's got his eyes closed. Yeah. Yeah, I love that Sean Jordan time for your first pick it's specific but Standing at the like walking up to a scary water slide and right before you get on,
Starting point is 01:03:45 that person that goes right in front of you. That's one of my favorite interactions. That's good. What do you say? I'm at, like, I always ask if you're scared. Like, one of those ones that goes straight down, like you freak out. It's really fun, because it's scary, but you're not really scared,
Starting point is 01:03:58 because, you know, people would have been dying the whole time you're going up, so nothing to be scared about. Everyone else made it. They would have shut it down. You still scared. You still scared right're going up, so nothing to be scared about. Everyone else made it. They would've shut it down. You sound scared. You sound scared right now. Yeah, you do sound scared.
Starting point is 01:04:09 I'm freaking myself out. Are you going on a water slide later? You float sometimes. You go down the big ones and you float in the air and you're like, why am I not dying? I love that as like a soothing mechanism of like, there are probably 50 people in front of me, they don't be dead if this is dangerous.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Yeah. It would shut this park down. They made it. When was the last time you went on a waterslide, dude? I went last year in Sioux Falls. We went to Wild Water West. I don't know if I would go to a landlocked waterslide like that.
Starting point is 01:04:38 Wait, you only go to coastal waterslides? I love a coastal waterslide, man. You know that about me. That was the first thing I said when we met. He asked me if I was on waterslides. He just slid up like, it's your waterslide game. I watersled up, dude. I asked you if you like to get wet.
Starting point is 01:04:54 Damn, Sean, I know you like to get wet. If I go up to the top of a waterslide and I can't see one of those lobster traps nearby, like an active lobster trap, I climb right back down. Get out of here. I'm going to go to the top of a water slide and I can't see one of those lobster traps nearby, like an active lobster trap, I climb right back down. That's reasonable.
Starting point is 01:05:10 Let me amend my statement. I don't know if I would go to a red state water slide, even though those are probably the most fun. Those are the best water slides. I want big government. I want big government involved. They're not good at a lot. They can make a water slide.
Starting point is 01:05:21 No, it's, Wild Water West is where it's at. I don't know the last water slide I No, it's Wild Water West is where it's at. I don't know the last water slide I went on truly. Me neither. It was never the, I wasn't trying to be like wet as a kid around a lot of other people. Oh yeah, oh yeah, T-shirt in the pool, baby. T-shirt in the pool, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Yeah, dude, water parks for fat kids is maybe one of the most harrowing experiences. I'd rather get in a fist fight. Yeah, same. Absolutely. Because I'm like, well, I got a chance here. I don't have a chance in a water park. Yeah, I know how this could end up.
Starting point is 01:05:55 I could get beat up. I'll be okay. A lot less scary. Just pulling a sucking wet shirt off my torso. Or just like in the locker room, just like, you just gotta do it. You just gotta walk out, man. You just gotta walk out.
Starting point is 01:06:08 You just gotta walk out there. My Cheeto fingers taste like the pool. Yeah. Oh. Oh, I liked it. I had a good time. I think it's a great pick. And I love a water slide, but I haven't been on one in years. I feel like I'm missing out.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Give it a shot. Yeah, we gotta go to the water slide. There's one in Sioux Falls, Josh, if you're looking. Wild Water West. That is, we're going to Sioux Falls. They got a lazy river. You can bring your alcohol on it, don't worry. If something happens, the report ends up
Starting point is 01:06:40 on Kristi Noem's desk, that's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. Damn, I'm like two miles from a water slide. I'm going this summer. Yes. Sorry, I'm just realizing. Sorry, Ian, it's in Colorado. It's all right, I can't make it.
Starting point is 01:06:57 Well, that's a blue state. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lazy river that you can bring alcohol in is like real red state fun, Sean. Yeah, dude, yeah, yeah. Lazy river that you can bring alcohol in is like real red state fun, Sean. Yeah, dude, yeah. I mean, Colorado, we just got the river. Yeah, Oregon too.
Starting point is 01:07:11 And people drown in it every year. You could just float a river, you tie a... You tie all your stuff together? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That, I do think there is a path to reunification that goes through water sport culture. The river, you wanna- That sucks, cause it could be, well nevermind.
Starting point is 01:07:32 I'm talking like boat, water park, floating a river based, like coming back together as a nation. Gets everyone in a good mood being in the water. Next presidential debate, wave pool. Wave pool. We need a Republican and a nation. Gets everyone in a good mood being in the water. Next presidential debate, wave pool. Wave pool. We need a Republican and a Democrat. They're just floating up in the bobbin like corks.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Before the debate, the two of them have to get into inner tubes and float down a river together. That would be, if you could make that happen for real. All day. And then they gotta come out the other side, sunburnt, and then argue about politics and see if there's not a little more common ground than maybe they thought earlier.
Starting point is 01:08:08 They'd both be too tired. They're like, I don't know, it's all good. Well, yeah, they'd be too tired. They'd be in two tires all goddamn day, buddy. Attaboy. Attaboy. For God's sake. Stopping at a Goodyear restaurant by the side of the river.
Starting point is 01:08:19 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time for my first and second picks. With my first pick, I'm going to take something that I experienced late last year at Dodger Stadium, which is celebrating a huge sports moment with a stranger. Yes. Oh, that's so good. Amazing.
Starting point is 01:08:40 I took my dad to a World Series game, the one Freddie Freeman hit the walk-off home run at, and I'm like a Dodger fan in that I live in LA. It feels like cheating because I spend so much money and I'm not from here, but still I'm rooting for him. I was caught up in the moment and you're surrounded by all these like diehard Dodger fans.
Starting point is 01:09:00 And when that like ball got hit, it exploded and you're like hugging strangers, you're jumping around with them, there's like beer flying in the air, it's jubilance. It's like one of the most beautiful moments you can have. And you're like truly connected. You have nothing else in common, except you're both excited that that just happened.
Starting point is 01:09:17 And it's like a truly beautiful moment. Hell yeah. It's amazing. Love it. Yeah. I love, I've been in multiple cities when they won a championship. I've been lucky enough to be like, I think I've seen it like five or six different times in my life where I've been in a city where they won a championship. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:09:34 Yeah, I was in San Francisco twice. I was in Denver for the Nuggets. I was in Denver for the Broncos and the, and the Abs. Anyways, the point is like walking on the street and just two men who don't hug men hugging like dudes just want to hug you. Yeah. Sometimes even in the lead up like like the Eagles on the Super Bowl this year. But two years ago when they were in, I was in Philly the week after the NFC Championship, but before the Super Bowl and the whole city of Philly the week after the NFC Championship, but before the Super Bowl, and the whole city of Philly felt like being fucking Asheville.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Like everyone was in such a good mood. I love that. Just people making eye contact, asking how you're doing. Just real, like... It was like the bubbliest vibes. It's so fun. I've seen like playoff victories, NFL playoff victories in an airport, like at the going to Chicago terminal with Chicago fans. That's fun as hell.
Starting point is 01:10:31 It's just so beautiful. It's pure unrestrained joy. I've been lucky enough to be in the, I was in the Trailblazers arena. I was in the Rose Garden when Dame hit one of the shots. And that was like, cause then also, you know, with the Dod. And that was like, because then also, you know, the Dodgers fans, like,
Starting point is 01:10:47 they've won things before, you know? It's been a while, but they've won things before. In Portland, it was like, ugh, we all, like, everyone went through the fucking shit together to get to that moment, you know? It was really beautiful. But yeah, celebrating a sports victory with a stranger. With my second pick, I am going to take the
Starting point is 01:11:07 Collective get a load of this guy. Love it. Both of these were on my Yeah, I had a version of that someone is like like making an ass out of themselves in public or They're or they're just being extra animated or if they're being rude to a server or like any of those kind of things. And you and another stranger make eye contact
Starting point is 01:11:32 and you're both like, get a load of this guy. It is a beautiful moment. Yep. Yeah, we just saw, we were walking down the street, some dude is dressed like Hunter S. Thompson. And I walked by, I was like, you see that guy dressed like Hunter S. Thompson over there? It's hilarious.
Starting point is 01:11:45 Yeah, yeah. There was a dude in the crowd at this making kazoo festival, and I think you'll have no trouble believing this, dressed full blown Tom Petty with a top hat. That's the kind of guy going to the making kazoo festival. That's right, that's so funny. Like the running down a dream to the Make and Kazoo Festival. That's right. That's so fun. Like the running down a dream video?
Starting point is 01:12:08 Like that Tom Petty? Last Dance with Mary Jane. Or Last Dance with Mary Jane, sure. Yeah. One more kazoo to kill the pain. Floridian steampunk, sort of, is the only way to really describe that outfit. But yeah, the get-a-load of this guy is just a beautiful moment. Absolutely. Yeah. It's, it's like such a fun, it's so fun.
Starting point is 01:12:32 Sean time for your second pick. I'm very partial to an airport bar. I love a random conversation in an airport bar. Yeah. I gotta, I gotta be in the mood, which like 50% of the time I am. The other time I just want to sit there. But if you get talking to someone, I talked to these two dudes about a music festival, they brought up Danger Mouse, which is hilarious because I haven't heard of Danger Mouse in years. And twice in a weekend, I've talked about Danger Mouse.
Starting point is 01:12:56 The soil is fertile. It's fun. It's coming back. It's fun, everyone's excited, you're traveling. We've definitely talked about this before on this show, but it's just, it's fun. I like the excitement, asking people where they're going, where they're from.
Starting point is 01:13:08 I'm usually the only person from South Dakota they've ever met, which is always fun. I like that. I'll buy that. Most of them haven't been on planes, that's why. Yeah, they just, well, they're stuck at the water park, dude. God's sake. Wild water west.
Starting point is 01:13:23 All 50 of them die, they're in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the water slide. Just like lemmings falling off a cliff, but we're all like, I'm going anyways. They're gonna shut it down by now, right? Yeah, that's a bit- Probably the exact right weight for this. Airport bar is fun, man. That is a real fun one.
Starting point is 01:13:44 Yeah, have a good time. I mean, it's not, there's nothing dicey about it. I don't know. Sometimes like a stranger at a normal bar can get a little weird, but, you know, airport bar is always safe. Nobody's territorial in an airport bar. Yeah, right. You're not, you're not like, They don't know the bartender. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my seat kid. You're like, okay, man
Starting point is 01:14:09 I feel like that happened. We're at Chili's. I don't come here every go Sean have you worked your way into the Delta premium lounges yet? Have you? They were I was just getting ripped up for this last night. I've never been I don't I can't do the lounges Why can't you do what do you mean? You can't do that? I'm United, I don't have any status with you. I don't know how I don't, but I don't. Oh, United is a bitch too, because even if you get status, you still gotta pay for the lounges. Come on over to the Big D.
Starting point is 01:14:33 Come on over to the Big D. It's free drinks in there. I thought you came over to the Big U. That alone would save you, I'm back on the D because I'm moving. It's a long story. Uh. I'm a diesel myself. Yeah, I can do both. I can do both. You're a united guy?
Starting point is 01:14:48 You're never gonna make it to the lounge if you're trying to do both. Yeah, that's true. But united I got to platinum. You guys are tearing me in half here. This is not, this is not very... Everyone's shutting their phone up like these pricks. Yeah, what the fuck? Some of them status match. Some of them united does. Yeah, united status match. But united if you're platinum,
Starting point is 01:15:05 you don't automatically get in the thing. You still gotta like, that was my big issue. That's not who I wanna be at the airport bar with. I wanna be, I'm a man of the people. How would you know you've never been in there? You don't know who's in there. I wanna be in the stuck up lounge with you rich assholes. I wanna be out there.
Starting point is 01:15:18 Fucking sour grapes Jordan over here. You don't know who's in the Delta. You don't wanna be quality people. A higher quality for free, okay. I don't even like it in there. Don't you have to sit down and say who you voted for right away before they'll serve you? They have short ribs, all right?
Starting point is 01:15:29 I don't give a fuck. You weren't doing that at the Chili's? I do, I sit down, I go, I voted for Trump, give me something in a cup. I want to carry it around the airport because I got red blood in my veins. Give me the kind of thing a Trump voter drinks at the airport.
Starting point is 01:15:41 I need it, I'm drinking this whole airport like a lazy river in South Dakota. I'd still, in Denver specifically, they ask, they're like, you want a to go cup? And you're like, why are you pushing it on me? They always ask. It's like they want you to walk around. I think they're thrilled that they have the option. It's pretty cool. I can't lie.
Starting point is 01:15:57 But I don't like it because I feel weird. It doesn't seem like you should be able to take it anywhere in the airport. I don't like that. No, you don't want to be holding whiskey while a family's like on their way to Disneyland And I know yeah, I don't I don't agree with that keep it keep it in the church, you know David time for your second pick. Uh My oh this just happened the other day and it made me think about it laughing at somebody at the barbershop Dog they were going in on this guy.
Starting point is 01:16:27 Was the guy there? Yeah, his arms were too long. He was as tall as my barber, but his arms were too long. And everybody was going in and brother it was hilarious It was it was so funny. Oh, I never got to experience it And it happens every now and again and you almost try to not laugh too hard because it could get turned on back on you Of course, that's just how it goes But yeah, that's all it's always a good time
Starting point is 01:17:03 Because it's like it's usually all dudes and dudes wanna laugh. It's like, I don't know how to explain it. It's very kindhearted, but it is funny and mean. What is specific insecurity? Well, cause he was the same height as this other guy. And he was like, and the other guy was like, yeah, we're the same height.
Starting point is 01:17:21 Your arms are just too fucking long. And he was like, my shit ain't. And he put his arms in his sock. Yeah, we're the same height your arms are just too fucking long Did he turn in reverse it on I'm like you just got short arms, dude No, he tried but everybody was like now you guys And then give yourself a hug with those long ass arms It's like, we see that shit as long as hell. And then give yourself a hug with those long ass arms because it can feel bad. Oh man, you should have been in there. That would have killed. It was, because it's like, the barbershop is like,
Starting point is 01:17:56 you know, it's like seven, 10 different people having different conversations, really. So sometimes it like unifies and points at one person Yeah And it's funny cuz they were both short Yeah, that it was true It's true about like not one to laugh too hard cuz then like you don't want that focus on you because you're like What are you gonna bring up about me that I don't even know yet? Oh, yeah, say something something new for me to be insecure about you know, like I didn't even know my eyebrows were weird
Starting point is 01:18:24 Yeah, like my nose is too low or something. I feel like something. Oh, low, no. I thought you had an upside down mouth. I thought that's what that was. I've said this before. I'll keep the names out of it. But our buddy one time, two of our friends were getting into it. And one of them was telling him he was like skinny and look gross. And the other kid, he's like, you bowl like a gorilla. It's like, oh, that hurts so bad.
Starting point is 01:19:00 That feels crazy. It's because he just like throws the ball. It just looks stupid. But that got so bad. You ball like a gorilla. Just for one second, Isaac, I just ran out of space. Oh no. I stopped recording at 1.22. Can you delete some stuff?
Starting point is 01:19:18 Some old files? Yes, I can. Well, while you're doing that, we'll take our second break. We'll be right back with more All Fantasy Everything. And we're back! Welcome with more All Fantasy Everything. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. Already in progress. For God's sake. Time for Josh's second and third picks.
Starting point is 01:19:36 OK, my second pick is when you meet someone, realize you have a mutual friend, take a picture with that stranger, send it to the friend, no a picture with that stranger, send it to the friend, no context. Oh, that's great. I love it when that happens. I get that the most probably Sean. Sean, you're probably the one who does that the most.
Starting point is 01:19:55 Yeah. And that you do it. It is very fun to do. I try to do it anytime I can. I didn't even think of that. That's so fun. It's a blast. You just stand like, yeah, I know David
Starting point is 01:20:05 I'm like let's go ahead and give him a photo. Yeah, we're gonna have to put that on his radar right now And they always like are you not responding to the test? Getting that text though and being like how the fuck do you know Derek? You ever get one where you're only positive about one of the people in the picture? Yes. David hit me with one one time. He was doing a movie with this kid Matt Burns I went to high school with and I had no clue who it was. Oh I did.
Starting point is 01:20:37 You're like, who's Burns with? And how did he get this number? I delete David's number every day. Hey, I get it. You got to save it to delete. You got to do a reverse memento. Tell me I got drunker than I said I did. I'll delete your number right now.
Starting point is 01:20:58 That was off camera. I love you, buddy, but that's not what happened. I need to hear it sometimes. We all tell ourselves stories in order to live, right? If you hadn't have said four, I wouldn't have done it. If I hadn't put a number on it, we could have just let it ride. No, you didn't, did you? That's not what happened. We could Know you did need did you
Starting point is 01:21:47 The Deadeon heads out there, you know, brother. You're in the Jones zone. Sorry. The alpha just showed up, bro. At all these college bars last night, I was walking, I'm the alpha. I'm the oldest. All right. Looks just sort of a sandwich of two facts. All right, boys. Shots just say the older the berry, the sweeter the juice. Everybody's like, who's this guy? And they're all just like, OK, sir, you're the alpha.
Starting point is 01:22:11 They're all ripping sins on their cell phones? Sir, can you be the alpha outside, please? Oh, man. Josh has an excellent pick. And your third pick. Yeah. I feel like this is just on the table. This is a classic.
Starting point is 01:22:24 We're going to get letters written in longhand if we don't say it. I gotta put one night stand on the list Oh, yeah. Oh my goodness. Someone's gotta do it cuz it's the whole The whole time you're like at least for me the whole time you're like, no way What did I do? He's still working? Yeah. All right. Nobody else is around, this is crazy.
Starting point is 01:22:50 Now we're at a bar and it's just the two of us? Yeah, how did this happen? Yeah. I'm a stranger. Yeah, you don't know my family. But you know my vibes. Yeah, it's all vibe, that's what's so lovely. Because of my Steve Harvey impression that I did to get you to the second.
Starting point is 01:23:06 Whoa. Whoa. You know me, it's me, baby. She's just sexing her friends. He's got a mean Steve Harvey on him. I think I'm gonna do it. Halfway through you standing up, stomping, saying you said you pined.
Starting point is 01:23:23 She decided she was gonna let you hit it. She decided! She decided! Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha. It's a really beautiful thing. It's a really beautiful thing that can happen. It truly is.
Starting point is 01:23:37 It's a lovely piece of kismet. It's a lovely piece of self-affirmation. And then the sex part of it on top of all of that, you know? It's just wonderful. Yeah. A classic human interaction. Truly, truly. I said that like how a robot would talk about genetics. 100%.
Starting point is 01:23:56 How would you describe, Chad GBT, what would you describe a one night stand as? Classic human interaction. Yeah, one that I've had and let's not go any further into it. How do guys who've gotten laid talk? That's what I Googled before I walked in the bars last night. Steve Harvey impression, okay. That doesn't seem right. I mean, I've only been just sweating bullets on the other side.
Starting point is 01:24:23 I'll let it fly. Right Not relevant to my life it felt like I'm drafting for skill not fit You gotta get this guy on your team Great talent available David time for your third pick Having somebody's back in line. Oh Yeah, you ever had that when there's like a there's like it's something and they're trying to and you're like you're like, nope I was here. I saw that shit. That is not what happened. Mm-hmm, or when somebody does that for you Oh my god that that shit makes me feel like we're gonna be okay. Yeah. Not a lot of things make me feel that way.
Starting point is 01:25:07 The rental car, the rental car in New York. That was one of those where everyone in line is like, oh yeah, me and Shane were all hanging out with Vincent D'Onofrio in that outfit. I know you were. I know we've talked about it a lot, but like that was just the whole- We were having different days. You and Shane are just sitting in the sun like, New York's gorgeous. Yeah, Vincent D'Offrio walks by weirdly jacked. And he ends in like the gangs of New York.
Starting point is 01:25:32 Shame not recognized. Vincent went offline for a rental car? Oh my god. But that was one of those where everyone was like commiserating and like she'd come out and everyone's like, again? Again she's out here and didn't say anything and everyone's agreeing. That calmed everyone down a little bit as much as it could have. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:49 Having someone back in line. It's like a kindred feeling to the, are you seeing this guy? But like for justice. Yes. Yeah, but for justice. Like you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I had this on my list under they are blowing it. Yes. I had this on my list under, they are blowing it.
Starting point is 01:26:05 They're like. Yes. Yes. I had this recently, I am the guy who. How long have we fucking been here? That's what I feel like. How long have we fucking been here? Oh, that's so good.
Starting point is 01:26:13 We've been here like two hours, right? Two hours, you've been here two hours? I got you, too. I'm gonna say something to him. I'm gonna say something. Yeah. Yes, I say something. Oh no, he knows we're pissed.
Starting point is 01:26:22 He knows we're pissed. Oh, they know. They know, that's why they're not coming out anymore. I'm just gonna check,, he knows we're pissed. He knows we're pissed. Oh, they know. They know, that's why they're not coming out anymore. I'm just gonna check. I'm gonna check. Yeah. I had a similar situation at the Panda Inn. And then also like, I won't forget about you.
Starting point is 01:26:33 No, I'll tell him. I'm not gonna forget about you. Yeah. I had a similar situation at the Panda Inn on Christmas night. Christmas Eve, right? Picking up Chinese food, where I had to have a moment where I,
Starting point is 01:26:44 they were like, they were just blowing it. They were just blowing it. People would put in, you put in your order three days ahead of time and then you come pick it up at like six or 615 or 630. We'd been there an hour and a half. I go up and talk to this manager and they're just not communicating anything
Starting point is 01:27:03 to the people there. So I had to go back out and be like, your food is not ready. They're telling me two hours. If you just got here for you to get your food. Braveheart just standing up. Some level of like, we're just all human beings here. It's Christmas night. We're trying to get our food. Like it's not a casual night Yeah, I will fight some of you will die Honestly better than the Steve Harvey even I'm ready to go. Oh, that was my Steve Harvey Harvey
Starting point is 01:27:53 You're showing her Braveheart you're like you're telling me this isn't Steve Harvey I showed a lot on a Braveheart on a plane recently cuz we were all drunk and she's never seen it and I got too fired up because we were all drunk and she's never seen it and I got too fired up. Shake of the flame. So we watched it on the same time at the same time, you know what I mean? And I was just too fucking fired up. Funny coming back from Mexico. Just stand up like, do you have any blue face paint back there anywhere? Also doing that last drink of vacation kind of thing.
Starting point is 01:28:21 So I was drunk on the plane. Like at one point, she said, I was like, you've ever seen Braveheart, bitch? Yeah. Yeah. Which has been said before, but not in that spirit and only by Mel Gibson. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:41 You better go back to the dentist side of town. Not watching Braveheart with your dentist ass. Sean Jordan, time for your third pick. This is pretty specific, but I'm with you two. Oh, Josh, we could all three be there. We've had three drinks and we get in an Uber with a cool driver. That's a fun interaction. Oh, that's good. Oh, that cool driver. That's a fun interaction. Oh, that's good. Oh, that is good.
Starting point is 01:29:07 That's a great one. I know it's, but we've, like, that was a huge chunk of my LA experience, was like Friday night, we'd be at the house, we'd have a couple, and then we'd just call an Uber, and if they were cool, it was such a fun ride to where we were going. Yeah. That's a blast.
Starting point is 01:29:23 A good Uber driver can change the whole pace of your evening. Yeah. Like really can like set you on a good trajectory. Yeah, or like. Yeah. But here's another example, like the dude who gave David and I a ride in his fucking murdered out suicide door having limo,
Starting point is 01:29:41 that was one of the coolest. I'm not even 100% sure, that might've been a fever dream. Might've been. That was pretty... Me and Sean were half drunk going to the Vikings game, and some guy pulls up in a murdered out, all black, 300C limo. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:29:57 With Lamborghini doors on it. Wearing an all black Vikings jersey, black pants, shades on, and he's like, you guys go to the game? Yeah. Five bucks. Yeah, and it was five bucks, because it was at the corner underground bar, so it wasn't that far. And he was like, I'll pull you right up there for five bucks.
Starting point is 01:30:17 And then he was blasting Sister Christian. It was crazy. Yeah, we're getting in the car, we're like, this is too loud, and he turns it up. He's like, no, it's not too loud. It was crazy. Yeah, we're getting in the car, we're like, this is too loud and he turns it up. He's like, no, it's not too loud. It was nuts. But anyway, like that was an example of a really good, like that just set the pace for the for the day. The guy who have you ever like,
Starting point is 01:30:38 especially when it used to be like us going out in L.A. where he just hands you the aux cord when you get in, you don't even have to ask. Oh, yeah. Oh, OK. Oh, yeah. Which is a lot better because what you also get in LA is the guy who plays his own music. I'm not a fan of that. And that ruins it. Yeah. Do you like Armenian techno? And you're like I don't even. I don't know yet. I can't even unprocess what you just said. I'm afraid to be honest with you. Long may that continue. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:06 I like riding in this Mercedes. It's like my headphones don't go louder than your car, so. I need you to believe me that it's the techno part that I don't like. I really need you to look in my eyes. It could be any techno. It's not that it's Armenian. I would love, great, I would love Armenian film,
Starting point is 01:31:25 Armenian literature. You got me a system of a down? I love them. Yes, that would be great. I love them. That would be great. Just along with the comedic work of Jackie Cation. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:36 Or James Adomian. Or James Adomian for that matter. I won't even, as long as we're here, I won't even say a bad word against Kim Kardashian in this car. Nope. Derek Pogosian, right? Is he the, was he in car. Nope. They're a Bogosian right is he the Bogosian dude, yes
Starting point is 01:31:49 The bag master, of course Where this pod started to where it ended boy, we've we've really come on a cover it We've covered a lot of races. Yeah. Yeah, we're not done yet. Yeah because my Yeah. Yeah. And we're not done yet. Yeah. Because my third pick is meeting in Puerto Rico. Did you say it? I missed it. Meeting in Puerto Rico. Just in general.
Starting point is 01:32:20 It is fun though, that is fun. My actual third pick is going to be, see if this makes a situation containment. This is one that starts scary, but like if something, here's an instance that doesn't involve a person. There were some gusty winds at the coffee shop the other day and a couple of their big umbrellas that they used to block out the sun got dislodged.
Starting point is 01:32:50 And then me and another dude just like leapt into action. Awesome. And we were the umbrella squad. You know? Awesome, that's great. Yeah, we were just the two. The umbrella boys. The umbrella boys, we like secured them,
Starting point is 01:33:01 got them wound down, like laid them, you know, just and we like leapt into action. And there's other instances, sometimes like wound down, like laid them, you know, just, and we like, slept into action. And there's other instances, sometimes like somebody's being out of line, like a drunk dude outside of a bar or whatever. You know, where you're just like, me and a- Two guys from the two groups, like, stopped the fight. Yeah, it's great.
Starting point is 01:33:17 We're like, Tibbleton Mercutio. Yeah. Is that, is that the right one? Are those the right two? Is that Romeo and Juliet? Was that the right two? I think so. I'm not gonna bite my thumb at thee about it. Is that the right one? Are those the right two? Is that Romeo and Juliet? Was that the right two? I think so. I'm not gonna bite my thumb at the about it.
Starting point is 01:33:29 Is it Romeo and Juliet? Yeah. It is Romeo and Juliet. Yeah, I knew it. See? Look at that. It was really, now you're trying to, I mean, what David did was really impressive, and now you're trying to sort of take that moment from him, and that's ugly, Sean. Oh, sorry. And I'm physically ugly too.
Starting point is 01:33:43 I mean, we both got it from the Leo DiCaprio movie, let's be honest. Yeah, it's John Leguizamo's ugly, Sean. Oh, sorry. And I'm physically ugly too. We both got it from the Leo DiCaprio movie, let's be honest. Yeah, it's John Leguizamo's moment, really. He's got a little thing on the bottom of his gun, all right, we all saw it. So good. Beautiful. Yeah, that is awesome. Because then you get that second of like, we did it.
Starting point is 01:33:58 We did it. We both kicked in. Sometimes people are like, thank you, and you just gotta be like, just another day on the force, man. Or like, umbrella force. Even like somebody spills a bunch of shit and you help them pick it up.
Starting point is 01:34:10 Oh yeah. Or like on a plane, let me help you with that bag. Like all that shit. Big New York City one, probably other cities too, helping someone get a stroller up the subway stairs. No, that's New York. Oh God. That's just New York. Pretty New York, I think.
Starting point is 01:34:24 Yeah, that's super New York. We didn't do that too often. Everywhere else has escalators, because they're not for savages. No, not here. Yeah. If you're in a wheelchair, you live down here now. They say, I...
Starting point is 01:34:35 Sometimes they go, this is an accessible station, which means the other ones fucking aren't. That sucks. So much so that they have to tell you when you could get off. Yeah, yeah, it's like, hey, you're gonna have to... You're they have to tell you when you could get off. Yeah, yeah. It's like, hey, you're gonna have to, you're gonna have to find your way the next 20 blocks. I wouldn't get off here.
Starting point is 01:34:50 This is an accessible station. That's crazy. Yeah, it's really ridiculous. It really stinks. But helping someone with a stroller. Big one. That's a, I like that. In my fourth pick, I am going to take, this is a delicate one, because this can go so wrong, but when it goes right, it goes right.
Starting point is 01:35:11 And I'm going to call this just enough conversation, where if you sit next to someone on an airplane and they strike up like a little bit of conversation, in my head, alarm bells are going off, right? Yeah. I'm like, oh no, I'm holding my air. It's a long flight of conversation. In my head, alarm bells are going off, right? Yeah. I'm like, oh no, I'm holding my air. It's a long flight to Miami. Yeah, you're holding your ear, your headphones,
Starting point is 01:35:31 and you're like, oh no, am I not gonna be able to put these in, are they not gonna give me a window? But then, you end up having a genuinely good conversation with someone, you connect a little bit, maybe they're interesting, they're funny, goes on for about 20 minutes, and then you're like, oh, it's reached a natural low. I they're interesting, they're funny. Goes on for about 20 minutes and then you're like, oh, it's reached a natural low. I'm in, I'm done.
Starting point is 01:35:48 They don't bump you again for the rest of the flight. Have you ever had that thing where you talk to them and then like an hour later, dog, they'll try, they'll like tug on your shirt to like try to reestablish conversation. And it's like, this is a takeoff and a landing situation. Oh yeah. That's it. I got a movie in between that I'm gonna watch.
Starting point is 01:36:08 Perfect one of those this week. No middle seat. It was me and a woman, two seats over. Right. No one showed up in the middle seat. She goes, I think we're in the clear. I go, this is great. She goes, we're flying first class at a discount.
Starting point is 01:36:21 That's what she said, like a great little line. I made her fist bump me. Yeah. Until we land. Oh, she's trying to put her headphones in. You're like, give me a fist bump. I will take that head. Yeah. That's beautiful.
Starting point is 01:36:37 You do let it rip with somebody on a plane. I told you about this when I was, uh, I bought people drinks on planes before. Yeah. I was going to Phoenix. Let's go. I was going, I think it was like from LA somewhere to the East coast. And this lady, it was early and this lady got a drink and I was like, me too. And then we both started drinking and it turned out she was one of the moms of
Starting point is 01:37:00 the real housewives of Orange County. And then when we landed, I was doing this thing back then, which is kind of obnoxious, where I would get the person sitting next to me in the airplane, if I had talked to him, I would get him to do my promo. I could be like, come see David at blah, blah, blah. Oh yeah, it was fun. But it was, but she did it, and I remember Megan Gailey
Starting point is 01:37:20 was like, no fucking way. Because she knew, I didn't really know. That was Canary in the Coal Mine for ya. Megan Gayley's gonna find a Bravo star. Or even someone, I guess, related to one. That's beautiful. Sean, time for your fourth pick. I like meeting dads at the skate park.
Starting point is 01:37:39 It is a very fun, just a couple old dudes on our boards. It's always a good, we're fast friends, the fastest friends you can make. Yeah. The other dad's thing is a powerful bridge. And you can go so wrong with daycare. I dread the day that I meet some uncool parents, but every parent, like crew that we've hung out with,
Starting point is 01:38:01 that Max goes to daycare with, they're all dope. We got so lucky, because I genuinely enjoy all of them because I know sometimes My mom had to be friends with people that she did not like because I was friends with their kids, you know Right, so it's uh, it's nice when you when you meet the dads and you're like, alright tight. Hell, yeah Has have you skated with any of these other? Not daycare dads, but yeah, yeah, like skate park dads Yeah, and there there's always new ones. I got a crew that I see at Beaverton all the time,
Starting point is 01:38:29 but anywhere you go at 10 in the morning, any skate park, the only person who's there is gonna be a dad who's like, this is the only time I can do it. Right, right, right, right. And it's fun, because we both know that about each other. No one's trying to impress anyone. We're out there rolling around, doing what we can,
Starting point is 01:38:43 getting the cardio up. Your back hurts, but from bending over to pick your kid up, not from skateboarding. Yeah. Yeah, it is a vibe, as the kids say. It's a vibe, dude. It's a vibe. For real, for real.
Starting point is 01:38:57 David, time for your fourth pick. My fourth pick, this has been happening to me. It happened to us on vacation. It just happens out a lot. You ever get this where you link up with an old couple? Interesting, yes, a little bit. Can you guys do this in Mexico? Yeah, Mexico on the cruise, kinda everywhere we go.
Starting point is 01:39:17 At the piano bar on Friday night. We did this in Italy. It'll happen. It's so fun. And they're always like, you guys are so in Italy. It's so fun. And they're always like, you guys are so in love. It's just like a great, weird interaction. And it's like, we're both here enjoying. I don't know. It happens to us kind of frequently.
Starting point is 01:39:35 We met, because we were on our honeymoon, I remember, in Italy. And we met, there was this older couple, and they're sort of living vicariously. They're like revisiting their honeymoon through your honeymoon a little bit. Like it's a beautiful, it's like a beautiful symbiotic relationship. Yeah, yeah. It's never too much and it's just like, oh, what do you do? And the guys talk and the ladies like it happened. The guy has some job that you can't even fathom. Yeah. You're like, what? You, you, you try to lie and just say I'm in entertainment in general. Yeah, I'm a writer. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a great one.
Starting point is 01:40:07 Because that probably doesn't get a ton of penetrating questions. But if you say you're in entertainment, they're like, oh, of course they're going to dig a little bit. Well, when you say I'm in entertainment, that begs a follow-up question. That's the kind of thing someone says when they want
Starting point is 01:40:21 you to ask a follow-up question. Sometimes I feel like when I say it, people look at me and think I'm a broke rapper. I'm in entertainment, though, is what, like, Tom Cruise would say if you met him on a plane. Yeah, right. Or, you know, in an airport. Yeah, that's fair.
Starting point is 01:40:36 Like, the understatement, yeah. When tear falls down, I'm like, man, I love you. I just, I love the guy. I love him so much. He's the best. There were two people in front of me on the flight yesterday from Atlanta to L.A. where one of them said to the other, I'm in the business. And they met Joe Business. And that was he was old enough that it seemed cool.
Starting point is 01:40:55 Any younger would have been lame. Yeah, that's true. But yeah, just me. Yeah. Meeting an old couple out. It's always fun. There's always like it's good on a beach if you go on a cruise any like destination place It's just always a it's like a fun little exchange with some people and then it never goes on too long And then you guys go on they don't know how to text
Starting point is 01:41:19 We can't read we can't meet up tomorrow somehow they changed the font size on your phone. Yeah. How did that happen? Josh, come for your fourth. Because we're in Mexico. Yeah. Oh man, WhatsApp. People really want you to get on that. Why they do.
Starting point is 01:41:37 I am too. As soon as you become friends with one British person. Josh, come for your fourth and then your final picks. Um, okay. Fourth pick. This is kind of the converse or the inverse of, of Ian's about like doing something for somebody. Getting unexpectedly hooked up by a stranger is so fun. Oh my God. Extra croissants because it's late in the day.
Starting point is 01:42:05 Yeah. Even like, hey, you can get up and hustle because you have a quick connecting flight. You can go up ahead of me. It just like really reaffirms that people can be really generous to each other. I think that's great. Yeah, it's such a good feeling.
Starting point is 01:42:20 Those little gestures can really, I mean, just like really make your day. And they're so easy to, you know what's like a tiny one is like letting someone merge. Yeah, let someone merge. When they've been blowing it, because I'm so, I'm such, I'm getting better about it, but I'm such a like angry driver
Starting point is 01:42:40 and such a like, I feel like everything's personal. And I know it's not, but I'm like, everything feels so shy. Working on it, working on it. But like, if you like slow down and you're like, no, you know what, I'm going to choose to let this person, you feel better about yourself, they feel better, maybe even give them a little
Starting point is 01:42:57 like a light honk, like the polite like, hey, get on in there. Hey bud, get on in there. You got this. You know, who among us? You know, it's a lovely thing you can do for yourself and do for somebody else. It trickles down the waterfall.
Starting point is 01:43:08 It helps them. They have a better day. They do something nice they weren't gonna do. Cause there's also the option to speed up and be like, no, fuck you. I got here first and then it just wrecks their day. Then they do something mean. Like it just is such a big fork in the road.
Starting point is 01:43:21 Such a tiny little thing you can do. Yeah. But yeah, the unexpected hookup is lovely. Yeah, love it, love it. I got the, I went in late to my coffee shop the other day and just the free coffee because it was like, well, we're almost out. We don't wanna brew anymore.
Starting point is 01:43:37 Do you just want the last of this? And I was like, yeah, I'll just take the last of it. I don't care. I just want the caffeine that's in there. You feel like a decent person. You tip the price of the cup of coffee because you were gonna spend anyway. That's in there. You feel like a decent person. You tip the price of the cup of coffee because you were gonna spend anyway. That's the deal.
Starting point is 01:43:48 You feel like a king. Yeah. Oh, it's the best. That is the unspoken deal. That's a great one. And your final pick. My final pick, I think, I've been going down my list. I think the best I got left is,
Starting point is 01:44:02 because we talked about a lot of it. We've talked about a lot of different ways we can attract the strangers. I think minding your business. Oh, God, that's good. Minding your own business. Oh, like when they, oh, I know what you mean, when it's going down a little bit, but it's like, hey, I'm just letting it happen.
Starting point is 01:44:17 Somebody, both ways, right? I feel like I show up places early in the morning, I'm like dressed like shit. I'm like hauling, you know, like walking down the block with a big just like clothes in my arms that I forgot to get dry cleaned to the last minute. Like, ooh, like looking like a fucking Commedia del Arte clumsy oaf. And um.
Starting point is 01:44:38 Oh God, you're awesome. Just don't say anything. Just let me be embarrassing. And the same thing to you. I see you eat shit on the sidewalk and get back up, right? Obviously, help someone if they need help. But if you, like, slip, don't do that, like, whoa. Just, like, let them have...
Starting point is 01:44:53 Don't say shit! Don't say shit. Let someone have their dignity. Yeah. That is a really good one, man. Oh, dude, that is such a fucking good pick. That is a good pick. Yeah, I like that a lot.
Starting point is 01:45:04 Just mind your business. Sometimes you gotta just be like, yeah Didn't didn't see something not saying something that doesn't Doesn't involve me at all. Yeah shit to do with me Excellent David your final pick. Oh singing a hit song at a concert Goddamn, right? Oh my. When the hit comes on, I think about when we were at Las Jegas, big pimping, and just like everybody in the crowd, it's just such a good,
Starting point is 01:45:33 It was not. You're singing at people. You know what, another big concert where that happened was when I saw 50 Cent, just like a lot of millennial dudes just, really crying to many men. Yeah. You might go for a little walk.
Starting point is 01:45:50 You go for a little tour of your area. You know, you're like, I'm feeling like I'm back hugging a guy. What's going on here? Oh man. Also, that happened when I went to that old school concert with like Fat Joe and Lloyd and all that shit. Like, just like when the hits come on, we're all singing it. It's a group.
Starting point is 01:46:08 We're together. We're just, there's no through line. We're all just bonded by this song. So fun. That's a beauty. Like our rock show, sometimes that happens too where there's that consensus of like, is this the one where we all go a little nuts?
Starting point is 01:46:22 Oh yeah. Looking around like, yeah, yeah. Unbuttoning their shirts. Yeah. We're gonna shove each other a little bit. Open up the van. Gentle shove. Friendly little push like, is this the one?
Starting point is 01:46:35 Yeah, I love it. It's just such a good shared experience. Dude, I like, I will, if I'm in a bad mood, I will listen to live music. Like, especially, there's like, um. Lightning in a bad mood, I will listen to live music. Like, especially, there's like... Lightening, crisis, sorry, that's not... Oasis, yeah, yeah. And then I just cry, I just show myself in the room.
Starting point is 01:46:52 But no, like, what is that? Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis? Like, there's a version where they just let the crowd sing a big part of it, and like, it can make me cry. Just that, like, sense of all these people getting together doing one thing. Like. Man. Have you? Oh, it's so beautiful.
Starting point is 01:47:11 This is awful. You guys been crying a lot lately? I could cry at any second, and I don't know if that's good or bad. But I just, this is so weird. I was watching soldier reunion videos last last night I just started crying. Of course you did. It was that till I'm seven to when I'm six when I'm 60 years old you know that song I'm telling about? I do. It was like TikTok compilations and I was just watching like and I
Starting point is 01:47:40 I start in like Alana was like we could put like a smash cut on the TV screen I was like no, I can't handle that. Yeah, that's too much. I can't bet it's a private experience Yeah, I like that that's a good cry it's fun. I like crying at that good. It was weird I was like man. I gotta call my dad maybe or something Yeah, we'll be watching TV sometimes and I'll just pause it and I'll look at Laura and I'll just be like I Just got to tell you how much I love you and I'll start crying TV or something. Yeah, we'll be watching TV sometimes and I'll just pause it and I'll look at Laura and I'll just be like, I just gotta tell you how much I love you and I'll start crying not that long ago, just a little bit.
Starting point is 01:48:08 Really? Sorry this is weird. That was a weird reaction to that scene in White Lotus though. Yeah. I love you like a brother I guess. We're watching Hostel, like I just gotta tell ya. Love you so much.
Starting point is 01:48:25 You're the one for me. Just a Washington Wizards Bucks game, games out. Yeah. Love you so much. Sean, your final pick. It's definitely a winter thing, but I like pushing someone out of a ditch. That was always a big.
Starting point is 01:48:39 Oh! Oh man. This is great. I have not done. I love it. I forgot that was a thing that even happened. Does that eliminate pushing someone into a ditch? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:49 No, that's still on the table. That's okay. You'll take that. Just that sole asylum shove someone. The ditch is the only through line. It makes you feel good. It makes you feel tough and it's super easy. It's never like actually hard to do.
Starting point is 01:49:02 You just need someone just to give the car a little nudge. It's great. It's a real fun thing. I love that when we were young, I feel like that happened a lot in high school, especially in Elizabeth shitty dirt road type shit. Somebody like, just a car full of boys, like football players, like, oh, we got you.
Starting point is 01:49:17 I'd pull over every single time. Every time I'd pull over and help. I still, the rare chance I get, I still do it. Damn, yeah, I forgot about that completely. Because it's also like when your shit is stuck in the snow, you are like, fuck. It is so frustrating, because nothing's wrong with your car.
Starting point is 01:49:32 It's just like it's stuck there. Yeah, you never have the sandbag in the trunk like you thought you did. Like, yeah, that's great. Am I gonna carry around kitty litter like a dork? No. Yeah. Excellent pick. That's great. Time for my final pick.
Starting point is 01:49:45 I'm going to take it. It's something all of us have experienced when you get someone who enjoys your work coming up to you. Yeah. That's really lovely. Oh, my God. You were never I mean, maybe if maybe if we were more famous or something, but like, yeah, you're never ready for it. Like, whenever somebody is like, are you David Bori?
Starting point is 01:50:02 I'm immediately like defensive. Yeah. Like, what did I do? Yeah. Like like, are you David Borey? I'm immediately like defensive. Yeah. Like what did I do? Yeah, or like, who are you? I was asking. But yeah, no, no, that's a great feeling. It's so beautiful. It rules every time.
Starting point is 01:50:16 It happened to me, I was in New York. I was in walking through Times Square with my headphones in and someone walked up next to me, like tapped me on the shoulder and they were like, I'm listening to you right now. And I was like, oh. That's crazy. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:50:31 I'm in fucking Times Square. That's nuts. This might be more inside baseball, but I like it when it happens when I'm with one or two of you guys. Oh yeah, that's awesome. You know what I mean? We're like, I've had it with both of you
Starting point is 01:50:43 where we walk in somewhere and somebody's like, like they can't believe that we're actually hanging out. That's always crazy. Do you ever get to do a guess who's right over there? You know what I mean? Where like you'll walk in the back of that view and you're like, oh yeah, that's Sean. Sean's around here somewhere.
Starting point is 01:50:57 Yeah. Ian's shitting right now. Ian's taking a big one, dude. I've had it happen in front of the general. That Campari soda didn't sit right. No, sir. A few times, like, the general, we were at the airport and someone came up and they're like, hey, I just, I gotta say, I'm a big fan. And my father-in-law's right there.
Starting point is 01:51:12 And I'm like, see, it's a job. It's a real job. Yeah. He's like, I'm like the general of this podcast. Yeah. I know wars are a real job, too, but so is this, you know? I'm fighting my own war every week. I just get real defensive. I know wars are a real job too, but so is this, you know? I'm fighting my own war every week. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:25 I just get real defensive. We both have been involved with drafts. Yeah. And some unsavory hazing. Absolutely. We both know the King of Kuwait. We have a lot in common. He came on here to draft Indiana Jones moments.
Starting point is 01:51:49 That's the final thing. Iceman, do you have a favorite interaction with celebrities? And I have to remind you one night stand with celebrities. No with us strangers, my bad strangers. So I walk my dog every day and A lot of times you'll run into other dog walkers
Starting point is 01:52:10 That they have no choice but to interact with some of them go not so well, but many of them go incredibly well Where your dog say hi to each other you're out in blood neighborhoods Where do the not so well ones? Oh when when they don't have friendly dogs and they're like you gotta go past you gotta go past you gotta go past no no yeah they can't say hi she can't say hi or whatever. Oh do you ever get it where they like walk out into the street? Yeah yeah yeah like they can they know it's about to be a problem and they'll like go out in the street that happens to Stella a lot because she's big. Yeah yeah but the good interactions where like the dogs like each other they start playing a little
Starting point is 01:52:45 bit and then you say hi to them. It's like, how's it going? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's a lovely time. Just a couple days ago, ran into Phineas, producer, the brother of Billy Allen. Oh, in Ferb? Oh yeah. Yeah, he was walking Ferb.
Starting point is 01:53:01 Nice. Lovely interaction. If he was walking in Ferb, he would go up two notches in my head. I wish he did that, but I don't think the dog's name was Ferb. When the dogs are playing, do you ever lock eyes with the other person and be like, where's this going? So what are we? Do you ever get breed specific people? That happens a lot with Stella.
Starting point is 01:53:26 Whereas some guys like, I got two standard poodles at home. Oh my, mine does this all the time. And you're like, dude, I, this isn't the time for this. I'll get a lot of old ladies being like, I used to have a pug. Oh yeah. It's like really sweet and heartbreaking. Yeah. Oh yeah. We were without a dog for six months and I've
Starting point is 01:53:49 been re-meeting the people that I used to see walking my old dog with our new dog and they're all so happy we have a new dog. It's so cute. Oh, I thought it was, okay, so it's not like getting like a new girlfriend or something. Yeah, you know, like, wait, what happened? Where is she? She got a job in another city. We decided to be mature about it. Ooh, sorry, we're a busy coffee shop.
Starting point is 01:54:15 We keep coming here. Oh, that's so funny. We're team busy. That's beautiful. Excellent picks all around, everybody. Let me go ahead and recap real quick. Josh, you went first. You took the drive-by compliment,
Starting point is 01:54:27 the meeting someone with a mutual friend, taking a picture and sending it to him, the one-night stand, getting hooked up by a stranger, and minding your own damn business. David, you went second. You took dancing with a stranger, laughing at somebody at the barbershop,
Starting point is 01:54:42 having someone's back in line, linking up with an old couple, and singing at the concertbershop, having someone's back in line, linking up with an old couple and singing at the concert. Sean, you went third, you took scary waterslide conversation, airport bar convo, getting a cool Uber driver, meeting other dads at the skate park, and then pushing someone out of a ditch. I went last and I took celebrating a big sports moment, the get-a-load of this guy, the situation containment,
Starting point is 01:55:07 having just enough conversation and getting recognized by a stranger. Excellent picks all around, gentlemen. Love it. I'd be remiss if I didn't say it. There's an unfortunate one that I didn't wanna pick because it's violent, but when you watch a fight and there's just someone next to you
Starting point is 01:55:22 watching the fight also, that shit's pretty wild. We're like, those dudes are really fighting. That's pretty buck. This made me feel so good. I was so happy with it. Yeah. This is like really like it's, it's affirming, right? It's a Phineas in firming. You know, that's how I feel about it. I better go, otherwise my wife will become a stranger. I like that, as I have to go pick up my son.
Starting point is 01:55:56 I love you all. Louis, you're yours. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter. What were you saying, Sean? I was just saying I love you all. I love you. You guys are great. I love you all. This was very great
Starting point is 01:56:10 All fantasy pod at gmail.com all fantasy podcast at gmail.com. That's the one Shows to everyone on the afe patreon where we have live episodes little burp little burp that live episodes Auction drafts mailbag episodes that this or that thing that're doing, which is real fun, just also pre-roll content. There's a fun, couple fun conversations on this one that didn't make the main feed that you're gonna wanna chew it in for. If I was a riff man. For less. If I was a riff man.
Starting point is 01:56:35 If I was a riff man. Don't give it all away. I don't know. For less than the price of a cup of coffee, and we appreciate it so much, you're really depending on the cup of coffee. There are cups of coffees that are cheaper than our Patreon, but not all of them.
Starting point is 01:56:52 Not all of them. Not all of them. Shout out to Super Producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Shout out to Saint Sue Carmel. Shout out to Blair Saki. We're all thinking of you. We love you so much. Shout out to Frankie Osh. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats.'re all thinking of you. We love you so much. Shout out to Frankie Osh.
Starting point is 01:57:06 Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shacklackity. That was a headgum podcast.

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