All Fantasy Everything - International Popstars (w/ Jill Gutowitz, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: July 26, 2018

We're drafting pop stars, but we can only take one from each country! It's the Good Vibes Gang, plus the wonderful writer Jill Gutowitz! Check it out! This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by hims. Try hims for a month today for just $5 by going to forhims.com/allfantasy5.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that, uh, uh, oh. Oh, man. The podcast that turned the tent around backwards. Push that shit out. Push that shit out. Oh. Why'd you, why'd you flip the intro to the podcast?

I wanted to. Yeah. I'll tell you what the podcast is. It's the podcast that got on the bus at 6 a.m. Damn, dog. The podcast that still smells like same bus. Same bus. Greyhound Bolt?

What are we talking here? We're talking a mega bus downstairs. Mega bus. Yeah. Dog. So they made you sit on this bus on a broken, because I get it with a plane, We're talking a mega bus downstairs. Mega bus. Yeah. It was dark. So they made you sit on this bus on a broken, because I get it with a plane, because it's like an issue when you deboard,

but why didn't they let you off the bus? I don't know. I don't know this story at all. Oh. Regalus, neither do any of the listeners. Yeah. What's with the bus? Avatar for the listeners. They don't even know who we're talking to yet.

I was hurtling home to record the podcast with my friends. I got a 6 a.m. bus out of San Francisco. Gonna be in L.A. at 2.20. I was like,

perfect. I'm just gonna go drop my shit off at home, take the train back. Perfect timing. I get there. I stay up all night. Right?

I took a nap in the afternoon yesterday, but I stay up all night. I get there at in the afternoon yesterday but i stay up all night i get there at like 5 20 the bus comes at 6 10 we and i'm like in the front of the line so i'm like prime real estate right next to the back is it like southwest seating where you can just pick whatever yeah you're leo trying to get on the titanic yeah yeah yeah yeah right so then we're on there and then like we wait like 20 minutes and i'm kind of like dozing off and the lady's like okay i'm just gonna give you a heads and she was a real cool tough old bus driver lady so just like i'm gonna shoot you straight bus broke down on the way up here i

don't want it to break down on the way back we're gonna wait or we're gonna check this thing out and then yeah two and a half hours later she was like we, we're going to need a bigger bus. We're going to need a bigger bus. Did you get to sleep on the bus at all? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's bus sleep. It's like kissing your sister. It's not good.

And you got that prime real estate right next to the shitter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Prime real estate, bus, bathroom sleep. I didn't have to go to the bathroom at all. Whole trip. Like a fucking idiot. Yeah. So then I was on the bus, and I just got here,

and then I went to the train where an old lady said I looked like Paperboy. Oh, wow. And then she started saying Paperboy a bunch. Paperboy. She was like, you look like Paperboy from Atlanta. And then she just said, but I know if you were Paperboy, you wouldn't be on the train. Yeah, and I was like, yeah.

No, I wouldn't. That paper's a train ticket. It's that kind of podcast. It's that kind of podcast. It's that kind of podcast. It's just that podcast. It's just that podcast. That's awesome.

Sean S. Jordan. What's happening? On Twitter. Yes, sir. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram. On the gram. A lot of Cougar Mel Jordans out there right now. A lot of Cougar Mel Jordans, dude.

A lot of people faking the funk on a nasty dunk. Am I? Yeah. On a shack pack with shake-em-up fries. Just, yuck. You're a thought leader. You're an inspiration to the people. Yeah.

I love it. Maybe I thought of it. Maybe I didn't. That's neither here nor there. Paper Cougar Melon Boy. Wait, did you not make it up? Maybe a friend of mine in South Dakota thought of it that I'm never going to give credit for.

Nobody will ever know that. Nobody's ever going to know that. I mean, all 10 of credit for. Nobody will ever know that. Nobody's ever going to know that. All 10 of our listeners. Damn. Damn. Yeah. Follow the Jeopardy questions on the gram.

I've been doing Jeopardy questions trying to every day. I've been seeing that. What do you do? You're like ramming the final Jeopardy? Yeah. Trying to get it right?

Yeah. Let's see if you do. I like that. Yeah. Wait a minute. And I've been just doing the ones off the calendar or just thinking of ones. Oh, okay. There we go. Yeah. If I can't do I've been just doing the ones off the calendar or just thinking of ones.

Oh, okay. There we go. Yeah. If I can't do it. A fun social media following for Sean Jordan. For Sean Patrick Jordan. Yeah. Come see us at High Plains Comedy Festival in Denver, August 23rd through the 25th.

We'll be doing a live all fantasy everything and it's going to be also fun. We'll be doing rollerblade kickflips all weekend. Ooh, blades on. Yeah, dude. Blades on team not existing. We're going to be rollerblading. I don't need a team because I'm blades on Shadestrong. That's me.

We're going to be on my team. Disrespecting Daewon Song. Oh! Man. I used to. Man. We used to be friends. When we walked in here, I was friends with these two.

Yeah. It's crazy. And here I am. Yeah. And now we're friends. Yeah. And now you're friends. And now you're friends.

Good. Yeah. Fuck them. We don't need them over there. Teams. Couch. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, you heard it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The tension. Is he allowed to say that?. Teams. Couch. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, you heard it.

The tension. Is he allowed to say that? No, I'm kidding. No, you can't say couch. You can't just call us couch if you're not a couch. It's couch side, dude. Yeah, that's not. Couch side. Couch side. Comfortable side. Strong side. Couch side. Strong side. Couch side. Disrespect us.

With your eyes full, couch can't lose. In front of Jill Gutta What's on her first All fantasy Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

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Can you guys stop doing that? I just want to answer the question. Say it like Gutterwitz. At Jill Board on Twitter. Yes. Are you on Instagram? I am on Instagram. Different name.

What's the name? As Jill Gutowitz, which is what I really want my Twitter name to be, but I got verified for this dumb media job I used to have, and then I was never able to change it. That's awesome. Thank you so much. You did Home Depot, right? That was the media job. Yeah, yeah.

I worked for Home Depot. Yeah, I was their spokesperson for a while. You were the little dude with the helmet on. Yeah, ask me about nails. Do it. Ask one question about nails. Sean? What are, so if I was going to nail, if I was going to nail up a book.

You're blowing it. No, I just actually made a wood frame for, I have a Joker poster at home that's unframed. It's the cool Joker. It says, why so serious? The why so serious Joker. And I just made a wood frame out of cedar. It's like an inch thick. So would you say that I should use nails to nail that up?

You said it's an inch thick? Yeah. Yeah, I have no idea. I don't know nails. That was a great first question, though. You came in there so confident that I didn't believe you had questions about it. Is it a matte paint? Yeah.

That'll see you more on the paint side. Oh, okay. It's from Spencer's? Yeah, no. I don't know. Still. I don't know. Still, I don't know. I just started talking to you about the poster.

Actually, it's a movie called The Dark Knight. It's a really cool poster. I'm putting a frame around it. My girlfriend, well, she broke up with me, but she wanted me to have it framed.

Night with a K. So sorry. Night with a K. Not The Dark Knight. That's a novel, actually, but yeah. Jill would say writer, author?

Writer. Internet personality? Yeah, writer, author. Writer. Internet personality. Yeah, writer, internet detritus. Detritus. Yeah. One of the saving graces of Twitter.com, the app known as Twitter. Just like an internet goblin.

Yeah, internet writer, exactly. Cleans the side of a crashing plane's wing. Just holding on. I'm going to jump off right before you land here. They're going to blame me for this, but it's not my fault yeah written for

written for Glamour yes Dazed Broadly I looked at your no yeah no yeah yeah

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I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm notcom and then I actually got my first writing gig at Glamour. And then it was Glamour. Actually, that's their feeder system. That classic feeder system. That's like their farm league. It's a wildly popular transition. There's a lot of movement in and out of

Home Depot and Glamour. It's always a bummer when you go back to Home Depot from Glamour. Right. Everyone at Condé Nast leaves and they go

right back to Home Depot. As consultants now. Yeah, yeah. There's like a little more money. They come in freelance. I tell you, I mean, we give everybody's

Twitter handle on here, but some people are terrible at it. Sean, you're so bad at Twitter. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You leave a lot to be desired.

Me, I'm not good at it either. What? Yes, you are. No, you're really good at it. I'm good at it. Yeah, you're good at it. Oh, okay.

I was like, come on, man. I'm getting numbers lately. I'm doing all right. I'm terrible at it. I'll openly admit that. No, we're all good at Twitter, but listen, I do like, come on, man. I'm getting numbers lately. I'm doing all right. I'm terrible at it. I'll openly admit that. I don't know why I have any followers. But listen, I do strongly recommend follow at Jill Board.

Wow. This is a glowing echo. We've never said it with full confidence before. No. This is the first, I don't know, how many episodes? 80. I'm honored. I feel like don't sell yourself short, though, Ian.

I feel like you're really good on Twitter. Thank you. Yeah, you're great at it. I don't really find sports interesting as much as when you tweet about it. If it's all caps. Yeah, yeah. You know? That's my secret. If it's all caps

and I'm libeling myself in the eyes of Lakers fans, then maybe. I find out news from you sometimes. Yeah. And then I gotta go somewhere else to find out. To get the real story. Yeah. I'm like, oh, shit.

I didn't know that this was a thing because it's noon. Yeah, dude. I just check it up. CNEN.com is what I call it. Yeah, CNEM. CNEM. CNEN. CNEN.

That's like how it is when Corrupt says it. Yeah. CNEN. CNEN. Fake news, real Jews. CNEM. CNEN. Cien Nien. Cien Nien. Fake news, real Jews. Cien Nien. Cien Nien. What can people check out that you've been working on lately?

Where can we steer the people? It's more than 10. It's 15, 16 listeners, by the way. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. 12, that would be good. Sorry, pants is on you. No, we're good.

I don't know. I've been doing some stuff for Broadly, some weird. Sometimes people reach out to me and they're like, hey, this is like super like niche and weird. But would you want to write about like Meg from Hercules and like why she made you gay? And I'm like, yeah. I actually would want to do that. I was writing about that when I opened your email. I like stop typing.

I'm like, delete, delete. Yeah, no, I'll start that now. Yeah. So start now. So I'll do it. do it yeah completely original piece about yeah it's a rough job i'll have to charge you extra but yeah absolutely yeah i also wrote like a weird piece for them about uh cape blanchett's outfits in oceans eight it was only about the outfits i like don't i don't know about fashion or care at all like i was like i wrote a fashion piece yeah about her you know about fashion or care at all. I wrote a fashion piece about her. You know about Cate Blanchett.

But I know about Cate Blanchett. That's the way it is. That's the end. That's the end. It's like one of the three things I care about. There's plenty of fashion experts. But you don't get the foremost expert on Cate Blanchett. Sure.

She's got suits. She's got suits. Sharp dressers. She's got sharp suits. Sharp suits. Hard angles. Like a shark's She's got suits. Sharp dresser. She's got sharp suits. Sharp suits. Hard angles. Like a shark's mouth full of suits. Yeah.

Dude, her and Ragnarok, forget about it. Is shark skin still cool? I'm sorry, was this not the time for that? We'll bring it back. That's David. That's always the time for that question. I just, you guys brought up sharks, and then I had been thinking about that for days.

This winter, we're both gonna buy teal shark skin suits, and we're bringing it back. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Watch out, Outback Glendale! suits and we're bringing it back. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Watch out, Outback Glendale! Yeah, we're going back to Outback. Boys are back in town. We went to the Outback one night and got toasted.

Dude, oh my gosh. Like we were just a giant family together. That's so funny. It was so fun. I love chains, though. Oh, yeah, us too. Like Olive Garden is my shit. I'm saying love chains.

My favorite restaurant, Buffalo Wild Wings. It's not really a well-received opinion most of the time. That's fucking awesome. No, I fucking love chains, though. Oh, yeah. Us, too. Like, Olive Garden is my shit. I'm saying love chains. My favorite restaurant, Buffalo Wild Wings. It's not really a well-received opinion most of the time. That's fucking awesome. No, I fucking love chains. Like, Buffalo Wild Wings is literally my favorite restaurant. We eat in there once or twice a week. Once or twice a week. We know what the second W stands for.

Yeah. Or three. Or the third W. Yeah. Dubs. People call it BW3s. Buffalo Wild Wings and Weck. Beef on Weck.

Also eaten in Buffalo. It's basically a French dip. But that's why people call it BW3s every now and then. What? I had no idea. Wild Wings and Weck.

A saga. Yeah. Man, I did not know that. I'm a fake fan. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're to the point where on the cheap wing days I'll just text Ian

and I'll be like, wings question mark? And it's like, hell yeah, or like, ah, I'm chilling today. One of those. But it's a couple times a week. You're not a fake fan. If you ride for Buffalo Wild Wings at all, we ride together. Also, shout out to Buffalo Wild Wings for, in my opinion, overtaking Wingstop.

Yes. Wingstop is being spiked on a pivot. If we could unspool this thread for a second. Wingstop's pretty dope, though. Wingstop's wings are better. Buffalo Wild Wings sides are so much better than Wingstop's wings. Fried pickles. And it's like not even close.

The fried pickles. And they have like the silver dollar fried pickles, like the little, they're not like a whole pickle. And the sauce is good. Jill, have you ever been to the Jewel of the Pacific Northwest, Portland, Oregon? I have not. Nestled in the Willamette Valley I'm dying to go

you should it's fucking dope remember we talked about that on Twitter about the vegan strip club that I really want to go to yes yeah Casa Diablo or Casa Diablo 2

whichever one you want to go to however oh my god if you like fried pickles Fire on the Mountain is a chicken wing restaurant in Portland Oregon it's

their fried pickle is one of my five favorite things I've eaten. It's the bee's knees. It's so good. It comes with this chipotle dipping sauce. I'm gonna go to Portland

and just get fried pickles and go to a vegan strip club. That's my whole list. There's people out there for 30 years that that's all they've done. That's all they do. If you go see and hang out,

if you have breakfast with my mom, that's every trip of mine. I actually really have been meaning to have breakfast with your mom. You and Sue Carmel get together. She's wonderful.

My mom's name is Sue. It is? Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Sue's, dude. I love it. Couple St. Sue's. Jewish Sue's.

St. Sue's. Jew-Sue's. Jew-Jews. Jew-Jews. Jew-Jews. It's a J. It's a J. Joe Jew-Sue's.

Oh, Jew-Jews. What's it going to take for me to put you into this brand new Jisuzu today? Jisuzu. It's the Andy Bauer edition Jisuzu. Oh, the Jisuzu. Sure. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Love you, Mama.

Oh, man. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. At the GS Island on Twitter. Hey, hey. Cool Guy Jokes 87. Bang. David Borey. Boom. Young a minute. Wait a minute. At the GS Island on Twitter. Hey, hey. Cool guy jokes 87. Bang. David Borey.

Boom. Young broken down bus god. Pow. Young hanging out in the Bay Area for a few days god. Ciao. Young you and Keith's car plan didn't go as far as maybe we're hoping it did. Dude. Hatch this fucking scheme forever.

You got to listen to this. It wasn't. Oh my God. There's no way this is going to work. That plan was fucked from Jump Street. That was the whole issue is we were screwed before we even got in. I looked at you like you were, when you were telling me this plan, I'm like, nah. The problem is you got so many stories that start out like that, that end up kind of working

out this morning. I have faith in it. Yeah. That's the thing is I felt like I could, so here's the thing. My opening act, so I was supposed to be kansas city on a friday to have dinner with tech nine to have dinner with tech supposed to be in kansas city for a show on a friday tech nine my friends and i were going camping monday or the previous saturday sunday monday and tuesday and then my guy that i was driving with this is is already so convoluted. My opening act that I was going to drive with, his car wouldn't pass emissions in California, right?

So then we're going camping in Northern California. So he's like, the guy I bought my car from lives in Oregon anyways. I'm just going to double up to Oregon after the camping trip. Right. Have him fix my car and then do emissions in Oregon. Then we shoot on out to KC, and then KC. Quick 20-hour drive over to KC. Yeah, quick 20-hour drive over to KC,

and then it was like, I think it was like KC, Bentonville, Arkansas, and Springfield, Missouri was the weekend. But we did not make it. But. We didn't fall apart. Here's the crazy thing, on the drive up But we did not make it. But. When did it fall apart? Here's the crazy thing. On the drive up to camping.

Really? Yeah. The car just bailed. No. He hit a semi. What? Twice. Jesus.

Twice. How? Cars total. Same one? Same car. Wait. A move? Parked semi.

No, it was moving. It was on the highway. Yeah, it was fucked. How did he hit it twice? He's okay. That, it was moving. It was on the highway. Yeah, it was fucked. How did he hit it twice? He's okay. That's the crazy shit. He's fine. Wow.

He's totally fine. Not a scratch on him. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, I got a picture of the car. But you didn't tell me all that. That's bananas. I didn't want to go into it at the time.

It took a lot. Yeah, yeah. Shit, that's gnarly. I didn't think we were going there. Yeah, and then so, you know, we're all good. They were like, it took a lot. Yeah, yeah. Shit, that's gnarly. I didn't think we were going there. Yeah. So, you know, we're all good. You were like, it's huge. So now, because of the delayed bus trip, you were supposed to be on the last episode of

All Fantasy Everything. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. The whole back is caved in. And the front. And the front. And twice.

Oh, my God. Yeah, it was all bad. Damn. Shout out to Keith. Yeah, dude. That car looks gnarly. For anybody listening, that car is fucking totaled. Yeah.

The back of it. It's gone. Picture a fucking totaled whip. She gone. She gone. She gone. It's like someone punched a loaf of bread from both sides. Bam.

That's exactly what it looks like. That Hall & Oates song that Zach listened to after his nasty breakup. Yeah. She's gone. Is that how it goes? She, I don't know. They say she's gone in the song. I do know that.

You were supposed to be here on the People Who Look Like Their Names draft. Yeah. So you have a whole list of people who look like their names. I'm just going to say them all. We just want to run through them. Yeah.

Okay, so Bokeem Woodbine. I brought him up! But John took Morris Chestnut, so I got him. Damn, Morris Chestnut does look like his name. It's because of his strong physique. Gwyneth Paltrow. I had that on my list. Danny DeVito.

I had him on my list too but I took Rhea Perlman. That's perfect though. We're on the same fucking wavelength. Kimbo Slice. Fuck that's good. Here was my sleeper. Here was my weird one Sean Jordan. Oh you do look like a Sean Jordan. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.

Delroy Lindo. Oh, you do look like a Sean Jordan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Delroy Lindo. Oh, man. Lil Mama. Yeah, Lil Mama. Andre 3000. Yes. Selena. Yes.

Cher. Yes. Mac 10. Yes. Project Pat. Randy Macho Man Savage. Fuck yes. Jimmy Johnson and Slick Rick.

Jimmy Johnson is such a good one. Yeah. Yeah. I was ready for one. By the way, Jimmy Johnson could also be named Slick Rick. Jimmy Johnson is such a good one. Yeah. I was ready for one. By the way, Jimmy Johnson could also be named Slick Rick. Slick Rick could also be named Jimmy Johnson. I wonder if they know. And they could all be named Tech N9ne.

Yeah. Or wait, Mac 10 is who you had on there. Like anyone. Mac 10. You keep bringing up Tech N9ne. You love Tech N9ne, don't you? I do like Tech N9ne. I've been to a Tech N9ne show

second bucket show I've ever been to first was ICP they rolled together was it the same show no Tech N9ne show the Tech N9ne show

you saw the ICP show you were like I need some more Tech N9ne was with Head P.E. and the Bong Token Alcoholics aka the Cottonmouth Kings was not into them

but I was into Tech N9ne hard oh man the Bong Token Alcoholics you don't have to do it I know Cottonmouth Kings. Was not into them, but I was into Technine Hard. Oh, man. The bong-toking alcoholics. You don't have to do it. I know. Your favorite, Ian's favorite Cottonmouth Kings song. And it was hard for him to narrow it down. It's one of my 15 favorites.

Bong-toking alcoholics. I don't know. I don't like that joke. What is it now? I'm at Ian Carmel across platforms. Check me out. Fuck with me. Listen to All Fantasy Everything.

Come see All Fantasy Everything at High Plains Comedy Festival in Denver, Colorado. True story. Buy 9.2 on Pitchfork. Do it. Watch me on Netflix. Yep, do that. Buy Shane's album, established in 1981. Yeah, buy Shane's album.

Friend of the podcast, Shane Torres. We weren't mean to him at all in the last episode. Not at all. Oh, no? No. Not going to happen this time either. We'll see. Not going to happen. Not at all. Oh, no? No. Not going to happen this time either. We'll see. Not at all.

I got nothing. Yeah, I got nothing really to declare or promote. Wait, when does this come out? Next week. This comes out in two weeks from now. This will be August 9th. Oh, yeah.

When can people see you? Yeah. July 26th. July 26th. This comes out... You're shifted. Even last week, you were shifted.

I have no idea what I'm talking about. Thank you so much, Marissa. You really shot from the hip. This is... That was only a month off. It's going to come out September 4th. It's February 8th, 2016. This comes out on Valentine's Day, right after a bad breakup.

So, July 26th, see me at Pickathon. Yes. In Portland, artists third through fifth. me at Pickathon in Portland on the 3rd through 5th. Going to Pickathon, huh? And then I'm going to be in the Bay Area after that hanging out because I'm also going to be in Santa Cruz August 11th at East Cliff Brewing. There it is. Headlining that. So yeah, catch me in Portland or Santa Cruz or San Francisco that week. The West Coast. West, west, y'all. Yeah. Oh, I want to shout out everyone who came to the Seattle shows. so yeah catch me in Portland or Santa Cruz or San Francisco that week the west coast

west west y'all yeah oh I want to shout out everyone who came to the Seattle shows a bunch of AFE listeners came out hell yeah shout out to all of you guys I really appreciate it

how was that really fun they were fun shows all 10 they all came all 10 of them came that's the reason 15

15 15-ish all 15 they all live in Seattle forming a link with their arms like a chain link kind of thing like chanting no they were like I mean 20 or so every show it was crazy They all live in Seattle. They all live in Seattle. Forming a link with their arms, like a chain link kind of thing. Like chanting.

No, there were like 20 or so every show. It was crazy. It was humbling and nice. I love you. We should all get together and plot overthrow the government. We really should do that. We really should. Seriously, we should do that. Let's stand up, you know?

Yeah. We should all grow mustaches. I'm doing it. Wear berets. I'm kind of doing it. I haven't got my waxed in a while. I've always been scared of the only stache. I think it's a power move.

I don't know who I would be, though. Aren't you curious? Yeah, kind of. Would you look? I bet you'd look good. I feel like I'd look like Carl Winslow. He looks great. You and Zach look amazing.

I look like a shitbag with mine. Yeah, what a hard job Carl Winslow. He looks great. You and Zach look amazing. I look like a shit bag with mine. I look like a... Yeah, what a hard job Carl Winslow was. You're talking about Reginald Bell Johnson? Yeah, I am. The dad from Family Matters? But you got hair. Didn't he not have hair?

He didn't have hair on top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had like the 80s bald where he bald on top and he got that like horseshoe. It's a monkey butt. I didn't know who I was because my dad had a mustache and he looked like a prominent prosecutor or whatever. He's not. He's a defendant. But like, that's why I'm like, am mustache and he looked like a prominent prosecutor or whatever. He's not. He's a defendant. Am I going to look like a schmuck?

I grew mine in. Italian chef. Italian chef. We're still about two weeks away from proper fettuccine Alfredo. It comes in real quick with you too. Is this your long time?

What? Does it take, okay. Oh, is this my, is this my long, I didn't know what you said. This has been like a week, probably. For everybody listening, this is riveting. Yeah, they know. Sean's got like a eight o'clock shadow. I think you should shave away everything but the mustache.

Yeah, I think you could do a mustache. Yeah, I think you could do a mustache. My dad did, and it killed him. No, that was alcohol. You have a girlfriend. could do a mustache. Yeah, I think you could do a mustache. My dad did and it killed him. No, that was alcohol. You have a girlfriend. I do. That's as good when I'm like, I look like a shithead.

He's like, you have a girlfriend. And she lives in Portland so it's like she's not even subject to it every day. If she lived down here I would never advocate for such reckless decisions

but because it's a long distance relationship you can have a mustache for a couple weeks. No one's going to talk to me with a mustache. It's only going to be better. No, I think if you have a mustache, just a mustache, you can command a mustache for a couple weeks no one's gonna talk to me with a mustache it's only gonna be better no I think I think if you have a mustache

just a mustache you can command a room I love this vote of confidence but you're you're really overestimating Jill's right what Jill said yeah

how palatable my mustache look is it's not it looks bad cause I look bad clean shaven and you throw a mustache on that

it looks it looks pretty bad do you feel like spotty is it not fit I just I have a I have kind of buck teeth in my chin I just have a Because I look bad clean shaven. And you throw a mustache on that, it looks pretty bad. Do you feel like spotty? Is it not fake? I have kind of buck teeth in my chin. I just have a... Yeah. I don't have a prominent chin.

He has a bashful chin. Oh. For everybody who can't see it, I'm cutting myself right now. A weak chin. Yeah, I do have a weak chin. I have a weak chin. Nobody wants that. Low T.

Low T. I got hella low T. My friends all got high T. I got low T. Low T. I got hella low T. My friends all got high T. I got low T. Wait, is that low T? I was just T. Oh, no. Mid-level T at best.

Yeah, I feel like I'm average T. At best. Average T. I have ice T. That's the highest T. Ice T, dude. Yeah, but it's so high that like most ladies are the soft crimes. I got low T, weak chin.

I'm too nice. God, what's wrong? Sounds great. It sounds like really nice. He's wrong sounds great perfect you're perfect sounds like a person i want to hang out with yeah let's hang out that's exactly what he is you're america's person we want to hang out with yeah you're like america's sweetheart it's not it's not quite that it's different you're america's sweetheart yeah yeah you've got some edge man look at this this is fun I got you buddy I like it I'm a big fan

I'm gonna need you out by end of day I don't have a car sounds like a personal problem you do have a car I do have a car your car doesn't have a transmission that's the difference

this is not on you this is on the car is that what the issue was? the miracle whip may yet live stay tuned it might I think I'm gonna get a tow at my car

died on me. In LA, what do you do with your car when it dies? It's like in South Dakota, you can just leave it in front of your house until God knows when. For days, yeah. And everyone's like, oh, one of your cars doesn't work. Because, you know. But here, it's like it's in the driveway. And I'm like, if it comes out of there, it's hard to get back in.

Where did it die? It died, I don't know, Highland Park. Like a weird industrial park. Where did it die? It died, I don't know, Highland Park. It was like a road, but like way... Like a weird industrial park. And it just... That sounds like a nightmare. It was bad. It was a lot easier than it could have been.

So it just died. And David, bless his soul, is just an awesome person to have with you. Because I called him. It only took him like an hour to get there to tow it. But it was... Yeah, it wasn't bad. They're like, are you safe? And I was like, yeah.

I mean, I couldn't see anything going on. So I was like, yeah, I don't think so. And then we got it back to the house, backed it into the spot. So it worked out okay. But it just seems like it could be such a headache. Yeah. Yeah. Well, driving in general in LA is hell.

I don't do it. Right. I don't do it. I don't do it. You saw me sweating. I walked from the bus stop. You saw me sweating. Listen, a Turkish Trailblazers fan account just posted a picture of me.

I'm trying to figure out what it means. But until then, we're not here to just discuss Turkish Trailblazers fan accounts. No, I really feel like we should focus on that. I thought that was real. Come on. Can we go back to the Turkish fan site? I will keep everyone updated as the story unfolds. In the meantime.

Can we say, speaking of fan accounts, can I just say one thing? Yes. CoolGuyJokes88, show yourself. fan accounts, can I just say one thing? Yes. CoolGuyJokes88, show yourself. What the fuck? I don't know. They DM'd me. CoolGuyJokes88. Show yourself, coward!

Dude. There's a Sean. Post a picture! Post a picture. My only fake account. There was a Sean Jordan from England who was tweeting, like it was me. It has all my same pictures and shit. Bro.

It's like Sean Jordan. Sean S. Jordan underscore. Bro. You ain't fooling no one, nephew. Bro, mentor. Dude, let's. Yo. Yeah, man.

Well, massive Twitter account. Bro is mental. He copies all your tweets but just says mate after. That's about what it was. Come to my album recording, mate. Sean Jordan, mate. Yeah. That's about what it was.

He'll probably get verified before I do. Train us by the truck loud. You chav. Oh. What a chav. Just a brov move. You chav. A real brov wouldn't do us by the truckload. You chav. Oh. What a chav. Just a bruv move. You chav. A real bruv wouldn't do that.

You mental bruv. You mental bruv. You absolute bruv. This ain't a real bruv. You absolute bruv. It's a fake Twitter account. In it. Oh, there it is.

Oh. I liked it. I liked it. I like it when you go all chav. Probably thought I was on Attack the Block, dog. Yeah. I thought you were on that show, People Just Do Nothing. People don't know this, but Sean is wearing a full track suit, zipped all the way up to the top.

Yeah, yeah. I kind of like the way that- He's wearing British Knights. I like the way that trashy British people- I do, too. I really like it. It's like way, it's pretty cool. It looks kind of like Eggsy in Kingsman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eggsy in the beginning, not suited. No, not suited. I want fake Gucci Eggsy and Kingsman? Yeah. Eggsy in the beginning, not suited. No, not suited. I want fake Gucci Eggsy. Fake Gucci. Because it's all fake. That poochy jumpsuit.

Yeah. Hell yeah. Everybody passed out for a second. Well, I was just thinking about the jumpsuit and I was like, I kind of want one. I want one.

I really need a jumpsuit. Jill, you know what you should get is a, what were you going to say, Sean? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Oh, I was just going to say I want one for free because I know I'll never buy one. Jill, you know what you should get is a... What were you going to say, Sean? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. Oh, I was just going to say I want one. I want one for free because I know I'll never buy one.

Oh, yeah, yeah. But I want one for free. You don't know that. Hey, man, you get some dough. Pockets get flushed. $60K a year, that's jumpsuit money. That's jumpsuit money. I don't think it's like a lot.

You should get a Kappa jumpsuit. You know Kappa? Yeah. Yes. With the two dudes sitting back to back.'t think it's like a lot. I don't think it takes much. You should get a Kappa jumpsuit. You know Kappa? Yeah. Yes. With the two dudes sitting back to back. It's a man and a woman. It's a man and a woman sitting back to back. It's like they-

They have them at Urban Outfitters. Yeah. And I saw them at Bloomingdale's. They have full tracksuits. They sponsor like trashy European soccer teams. That's what I want. That's the jumpsuit you want. Yeah.

I've been like actively trying to get sponsored by Adidas because I really just want them to send me tracksuits. I kind of dropped a line about that in something I wrote recently. So I'm going to say it here, too. If Adidas wants to sponsor me. We have a lot of listeners in Portland, New Orleans. We've got hella Adidas reps. They're North American hub.

Not for anything. I don't do sports, but if you want to sponsor me for being gay, I'm down. I have to wear his passports at this point. When is Adidas going to get into the being gay game? They have to get into being gay. Everyone is doing it. Good money.

You can get sponsored without- Good money in being gay. Adam Sandler is sponsored by fucking DC somehow. He's just a comedian. What? Adidas, if anyone at Adidas, if you guys are trying to get into the being gay game- Get in it, dude. I'm here to be gay.

At your board. Yeah. Get sponsored. I really want to get sponsored for being gay. How many days a week would you wear a full tracksuit? Like every day. How many days a week would you be gay? Yeah, like all of them.

Seven and seven. Like seven for each answer. We just need to know where our money is going. Seven and seven. And I'm the kind of person who like gets something and wears it for a month, you know? Like month straight, can't take it off, sleeps in it. So like I'm going to be out there in Adidas if they send it to me. You hear that, Adidas?

Listen up. Listen up. Turn your headphones up. Three stripes. Seven days a week. All I need is three stripes. Three stripes. We're gathering it today to draft.

Now it's a complicated topic, so I'm going to break it down for you here right now. Break it down like a shotgun. International pop stars. What we're going to do is each of us, we're each taking five. I mean, it is all fantasy. We're each drafting five pop stars. Each of them on our team has to be from a different country. Right.

So we can all have somebody from America, but none of us can have two from America. Or from any other one country. Yes. So it's an international pop stars draft. True story. That's what we're doing. I like the complicated ones. I kind of do too.

I think they're fun because you dive in. I'm nervous, but excited. I feel like I can't believe I got you guys to do this. Of course. Oh, yeah. I really only care about pop stars. That's great. And so when Ian was like, what do you want to do?

I was like, pop, pop stars. Dude, all I care about is skateboarding when you really break it down. So no, yeah. Like, I really only care about pop stars. That's great. And so when Ian was like, what do you want to do? I was like, pop stars. Dude, all I care about is skateboarding when you really break it down. Yeah. So, no, completely. So this is, like, awesome. Thank you for accommodating. Get out of town. We'll have you.

Thank you for being a fucking genius with a dope idea. Wow. There it is. Yeah. I'm glowing. Yeah. Hell, yeah. I've seen two people glow before now, and Jill is glowing.

Yeah, there it is. Beyonce. Shit, fuck. God damn it. I'm naming two people glow before now and Jill is glowing. Yeah, there is. Beyonce. Shit, fuck, goddammit, I'm naming people. Well, don't name the other one then.

I won't name the other one because it's another podcast. I know who it is. It might come up. It might come up. Don't you name it either. I have a question. Yes,

Hulk Hogan is who it was. America is one of the countries we can be. Yeah, absolutely. I didn't even think about that. We got a couple more months left. Okay,

okay. But you can go off the dome for the America, though. Or don't. It'd be impressive if you didn't. It'd be impressive if you only went like a- Oh, damn it. Why'd you even throw that out there? You're going to throw it and feel like a dickhead.

It's like burning through my skull, the word Beyonce right now. The way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you. Okay. And you throw on shoot. So here we go. That's one, two, three, shoot. You ready?

Yeah. All three of us. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. David three of you. Okay. And you throw on shoot. So here we go. That's one, two, three, shoot. You ready? Yeah. All three of us. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. David, you win. David wins. Dickhead. I can tell you the order right now. I'm back, baby.

I can tell you the order. I'm going to let you do it, but I could write it down, show it to you. It would be it. Cocky. He's getting cocky. Go on.

Go on. David, before you depict the order, I just want to remind you, it is a serpentine draft and what does that mean? that's a great question what does that mean? that's a great question can you guys tell me

what that means? yeah it's kind of like it's kind of like that Snoop Dogg song G's and Hustlers so he goes this is for the G's

this is for the Hustlers then you're over here so this is for the Hustlers now back to the G's this is for the G's so you're over here again you're over here twice so You're over here twice. So Gs is twice.

Hustlers is twice. Okay. Kind of like a back and forth. Basically what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round.

There it is. Yeah. Okay. It's like if Marissa eats a sandwich while we're recording. Oh. It sounded like.

That's a real ass sandwich too. She was like, she was like, I'm gonna eat, she was like, I'm gonna eat a sandwich And I was like oh okay What do you think I'm gonna eat?

It looks dank Did you hear that? It's fucking dank Not me I don't give you any shit I don't give you any shit I say dank and I say buck all the time I love dank

I feel like I started saying dank as a joke You know when you start saying things as a joke Like I say lol all the time And then love dank. Dank is great. I feel like I started saying dank as a joke and that, you know when you start saying things as a joke, like I say LOL all the time? Yeah, yes. And then it becomes completely non-ironic. That's how I started saying bro. Jeez Louise happened like that to me. Yeah. Holy buckets. Like I say like dang it all the time because I think that's funny. Like instead of like ah damn, like dang or crap.

But now I just say it and people are like, did she grow up religious? You made my fucking, you made my night by saying dank. Cause it, it does work. It's like a joke, but then it's also, nobody says it. So it's funny.

And people always say that you're saying it wrong. Like you can't call a sandwich dank. Of course you can. It's a dank fucking sandwich. It's not buck, but it's dank. I mean, well,

what are we going on? It could be buck. It technically means like wet, right? Doesn't it mean like moist? Yeah, like a cave. I learned about it from weed. That was me too. It's the first time I ever heard. Because it means like wet, right? Doesn't it mean like moist? Yeah, like a cave. I learned about it from weed. That was me too.

It's supposed to be about weed, yeah. Because it means like a moist, sticky weed. Yeah, sticky, icky. But it just came to mean like dope. Yeah, because if you smoke weed, a moist, sticky weed is fucking dank. And so that's dank. Sandwich looks dank.

Shout out to the dude on Twitter who shouted us out for knowing who Styles would be on to wear. Just a quick shout out to him. Yeah, hell yeah. He was stoked about it. He was so stoked. Marissa's eating a sandwich.

What will the order of the draft be? What kind of sandwich is this? She's doing it so carefully and quietly. She laughs so hard for a spot. When you said it, you go, Marissa's eating a sandwich, and I heard a laugh come out of her nose. Like a super cute laugh right out of her nose. It looks very good is what I'm saying. It does.

It looks like such a good sandwich. Oh, damn. It has sauces. What, you got four meats in there? Wow. It's like Chipotle mayo. Welcome to the U.S. Wow.

That's like a Long Island of a sandwich. Yeah. Like a Long Island ice sandwich. I might have to hit Jersey Mike's after this. I love Jersey Mike's. Back up my points. Oh, it's so good. I love chains.

You love Jersey Mike's too? Yeah, I eat there like twice a week. Big Jersey Mike's here. You're really on board with all this stuff. Are you a fourth member of the podcast? Maybe. Just naturally. I also will say, while we're on the subject of Jersey Mike's, because I've been waiting

for a platform to say this. Go on. Please. I'm always the only woman in there. I don't know what is going on with Jersey Mike's, but it's only dudes that look like they work in post-production, Which is like an LA specific thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I'm usually

only the person, the only person in Jersey Mike's. Right. It's like me and Zach Toscani, but I feel like it's, I've never been in there when it's like hopping for sure. There's one in North Hollywood

that's fucking lit. Like every day. Yeah, at 1 p.m. When I go. Glendale one, stay quiet. Yeah. Not a lot. Sleepy.

It's right on that border between Glendale and Eagle Rock. Eagle Rock. It's like, I don't want to get too close to the other, you know. Is that how you feel about Eagle Rock? No. I don't want to dip my toe. Welcome to Glen Rock. That's that part.

What would be one of the draft be, David? David. No shit. David. Jill. Jill. Yes. Uh-huh. Ian. Yeah. No fucking shit. David. Jill. Jill. Yes. Uh-huh.

Ian. Yeah. No fucking shit. No, actually. No what? No. Yeah, but you were going to pick that. That's what you were going to pick.

Anything could happen today. I'm going David, Jill, Sean, Ian. But you were going to put Ian third, which is why I would have written down. I want the last pick. Ian likes Anchor. I want a double up. Ian loves the Anchor. I'm just saying.

Anchor. I'm just saying. I would have written the order of the original. I'm stoked to go third. Track Anchor. Ian likes Anchor. I want a double up. Ian loves the Anchor. I'm just saying. Anchor. I'm just saying. I would have written the order the original way. I'm stoked to go third. Track Anchor. Young Track Anchor. Young Track Anchor over there. Young Anchor.

The problem is every time I pick first, then I realized how long it is until I get to pick again. I know. Also, maybe this is the one draft where I don't want to pick last. Yeah. Fuck. All right. Well, no. All right.

It'll be all right. I'm the least worried about me. I can't wait to see what happens here. Really? I think, like, if everyone takes everything I have, like, I'll be able to whip it out no problem. Still list off the top. Yeah.

That is not how I feel. Yeah, I was... Man. Yeah, this will be funny. They wouldn't be relatable, but... If my computer crashed, I'd have to pass out and pretend to sleep. Oh, dude. When we got in the car and I thought I didn't email myself my list, I was freaking out.

Like, wait a minute. I couldn't find it. Uh-oh. You email yourself your list? Yeah. Notes. It's intense, dude, when we got in the car and I thought I didn't email myself my list, I was freaking out. Like, wait a minute, I couldn't find it. You email yourself your list? Yeah. Notes. That's intense, dude. Just use the notepad. I write it on my computer, and then I just email it to myself. Oh, so you can use the internet.

So I can poke around a little bit, you know? With the first pick in the International Pop Stars All Fantasy Everything, we will find out a moment just after this short commercial break. We will find out in a moment just after this short commercial break. What's up, all Fantasy Everything listeners? Listen up, all right. Sexual performance issues affect more people than you might think. Over 25% of new ED cases are affecting guys under 40. So it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing that you should hide or anything like that.

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5. 4hims.com slash all fantasy 5. 4hymns dot com slash all fantasy five. And we're back with David Borey's first funny commercial. It's a fun commercial, right? It's a sick commercial, honestly. With David Borey's first pick in the International Pop Stars draft.

You're on the clock. We should say the country, too? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Okay, so this was hard for me because it's also time, we can we can travel throughout time sure they just have to be a pop star i didn't think about that as long as jill thinks they're a pop star okay so this is just yeah i just love her david bounces on the handlebars too i just for the first one this one's real simple okay i love her so much she's so cool i don't think she would like me personally but but maybe we'll be in a room together one day.

I'm already down already. From Barbados. Yes. Yes. Rihanna. Of course. I got to pick first. I got to be Rihanna.

I got to first pick. Yes, you have to pick Rihanna. I wish she made Fenty products for me. You're like a ring announcer. From Barbados. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I thought you guys were all dumb or something.

I was like, they're not going to know that Rihanna's from Barbados. Why wouldn't you know that? We are dumb. I feel like if I say Rihanna, everyone's going to roast me and be like, she's from the US. And I'll be like, uh-uh. I've been on that since Pondy Replay. My opponents.

Is Pondy Replay the first one? I'm not going to say that every pick I knew where they were from, but Rihanna for sure. Run, run, run. Some of these are, I really surprised myself by looking up it. Wait a minute. But yeah, Rihanna, dude. Yeah, the Wait a Minute is from a Rihanna song.

What can you say? Yeah, I mean, she's ideal. Yeah, it's perfect. That's all you say is her name. She's the best one. Wine glass stealing, joint out in the open smoking. Getting kicked off of Instagram for being too dope. I heard recently she

rented out the whole floor of a hotel because she didn't want people to complain about the smoke because she was smoking weed. Now that's dang. Now that's dang. I don't care if it's a fucking I don't give a shit if it's a goddamn travel lodge. At the Oregon coast.

We're like in Gold Beach for some reason. They're all outdoor rooms and you're gonna rent the whole hotel anyway. This whole top, don't come to the top of the travel lodge. One of my favorite Rihanna moments is like the picture of her rolling a blunt on her bodyguard's head. Man.

Also her jet ski antics. God, that when she's on the jet ski but she's like side saddle, you know? I didn't even know you could ride a jet. I've driven a jet ski. Like, it's hard. No, you can't. Like, we can't ride it like that.

You have to be from Barbados. Yeah, yeah. You have to be of the ocean. I also know, I know this is like super like controverse, but I'm like, I highly rank Rihanna over Beyonce. I'm only saying Beyonce's name because we've always, we've always talked about it. It's been brushed.

It's been brushed. It's still burning up. And somebody has to say also, as a lover of bad boys name because we've always talked about it. It's been broached. It's still burning up the whole of my picket. Also, as a lover of bad boys and bad boy culture, I'm kind of with you. Yeah.

You whisper it. I just, I don't want, the high vibe. It's a hot fucking take. The high vibe. You don't want to burn ears off. I'm just saying like that,

what's that video where she kills that dude? Who, Rihanna? Yeah, what's the video? It's like every video. Louis XIII, that is all I need. Oh, yeah, bitch better have my money. Bitch better have my money.

That song scares the shit out of me. It's so scary. I feel like she's going to kill me. I don't know. I was like, take it. Take my money. You're like, do I even have my money? Yeah, like she's like, yeah.

Do I even have her money? Yeah, yeah. I never thought it was mine. I'm a bitch. Do I have my money? It's her life. I've been living with Rih's money. Yeah, this whole time. It's been your money forever. She's been letting me borrow Holder. I'm a bitch. Do I have it? So you're like, I've been living with Ree's money. Yeah, this whole time.

It's been your money forever. She's been letting me borrow all her stacks for a minute. Fuck, are you supposed to send the Spotify royalties in individually? Yeah. I just streamed it a lot of times. And she performed that song,

I think it was on the Billboard Awards, and she wore this giant, I think it was a Gucci green fur jacket that made her look like Green Big Bird. I've seen pictures. And she had a helicopter as a prop. Yeah. As a prop?

A fucking prop helicopter. She has helicopters for play. Yeah. That's crazy. The level on that? Yeah, dude. And you know what I love so much about Rihanna is that she barely moves on stage

and yet she looks like the best dancer in the world. Not a dancer. She does not dance that much. But like her choreographer. Since Party Replay too, even that video, she's just like. She's barely moving. She's just so cool. She's not dance that much. But like her choreographer. Even that video, she just like. She's barely moving. She's just so cool.

She's like wriggling. Some people are just really cool. She knows she doesn't have to. I think that like, I think like she probably is a choreographer that like plays to her strengths. You know,

she's like, she's high. She doesn't want to move. Let's just like give her some like, some zhuzhing, you know? Some like,

yeah, some zhuzh. I don't need her moving. No, I really don't want her moving. You exist. You know what's crazy? My uncle, one of the best zhuzh guys in the business.

Dude. Why do people don't know that? He's a zhuzh pop star zhuzher. He's a zhuzh man. Zhuzh zhuzh. Zhuzh zhuzh. At the Grammys this year, they did, I wrote on the Grammys this year, I'm very accomplished. What?

Ian! Oh, you dog! I'm a very accomplished writer. I'm a very accomplished writer. Well, has there ever been nominated for anything of note? Emmy nominated. Oh, shit. In the gym every day.

Are you one of the youngest head writers for Late Night Avenue? One of the youngest network head writers for Late Night Avenue. And I don't know for sure if you can confirm, but you are Jewish? 100% bar mitzvahed and everything. Okay. And just so we don't pale in the sunlight, I ate a Slim Jim that I stole from my friend's house on a bus today. Yeah, sure. And I started drinking it like four.

And I write jokes on Twitter. Yeah. So we're all doing stuff. We're all pretty much on the same page. Marissa, correct me if I'm mistaken. For a while, there were many Slim Jims here, right? At the HeadGum office maybe like a year ago. Yeah, I definitely put like eight or nine of those

in my pocket once. The problem with Slim Jims is they're too juicy in the middle. They're too juicy. It's a greasy snack. It's like, I've snapped into a Slim Jim

as it were and had the juice drip into my beard and feel like that can't. You more sploosh into a Slim Jim if we're being honest. I was so affected

by that visual. I was like, oh my God. It is. It's very like visceral when you're like, the juice. Because I think Slim Jim if we're being honest. I was so affected by that visceral. I was like, oh my God. It is. It's very visceral when you're like, it's used. Because I think

Slim Jims just smell like a gas station or like a 7-Eleven. When you open it, it's just so pungent. And then they taste gross. That's why you gotta do the teriyaki sticks.

Yeah. Shout out to Donnie Boone, my man. He used to only eat teriyaki sticks. Dude, I know a Donnie Boone. Really? Did he only eat teriyaki sticks? Same guy. He makes wool socks, I know a Donnie Boone. Really? Did he only eat teriyaki sticks?

Same guy. He makes wool socks for our whole high school class. That sounds like the same dude. That's the same guy. I think y'all are about to lady in the tramp. Do you have a bunch of dogs he didn't name? Yeah, dude. Are you serious?

He just calls them, get the fuck over here. You're about to lady in the tramp the spaghetti. This is the same dude. Bet the dogs do it with Slim Jim. I only bring up the Grammy thing to bring up that at that they performed Wild Thoughts, the DJ Khaled Bryson, Taylor, Rihanna. And like for most of the song, Rihanna's just like walking around the stage being led by a super hunky dude.

And her only dance move is that one South African dance move. The wah, wah, wah? Yeah, with the like with the everything kind of thing. Yeah, that shit's real cool. And she went out there and wah? Yeah, with the like, with the everything kind of thing. Yeah, that shit's real cool. And she went out there and was like doing it and looked like she was having so much fun. Oh, man.

When you pick your spots like that, like Rihanna does. You gotta pick, yeah. And you fucking, but then you go for it, you're like, oh, shit, you know? That's what I want to see is someone looking like they're having a blast, too.

Yeah. And she looks like, Instagram is what I go to, but she looks like she's just having fun all the time. Yeah. Rolling blunts, getting kicked off Instagram for being too buck. Yeah. Like, Rihanna, sorry, you're naked on Instagram.

You're gone for a month. Yeah. I don't give a shit. And she seems like she would make fun of you like so good. To your face. Yeah. Yeah. She just roasts you to your face.

Like some shit you didn't even know. Like, ha ha, that's why your collar is crooked. And you're like, I didn't even know. Yeah. Like, she'll like bring up the shit that you really don't want to talk about right away. Yeah, right? Yeah. She'd devastate you. the shit that you really don't want to talk about. Yeah. Right. Yeah. She'd devastate you.

Like respect your career. That's I think the real difference between Rihanna and Beyonce is like Beyonce won't say it to your face. Rihanna will fucking roast you. Rihanna wants to say it to your face. But then you can maybe hang out afterwards. Yeah. And then you can smoke.

But Beyonce you'll be. Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead. No, no. That's I think why I like like Rihanna resonates more with me because that's more my... That's what I want in a person. And I don't know why, but for pop stars, it's such an important thing for somebody to be

like, I would hang out with her. Yes. I don't know why, but it's such a thing. And for Beyonce, she just is so up above... She is a god. How do I even reach that? I'm not going to hang out with Beyonce. What are you going to do with her in Jay-Z's house?

I don't know. What are we going to do? Hey, you guys want to house? I don't know. What are we going to do? Hey, you guys want to watch Claws? I'm like. Just be like, Alexa. There's got to be Alexa, right? I just want to hear Beyonce. Man, I wish.

Alexa. Alexa. Marcella was here? Alexa. God, I wish Marcella was here. She probably says Alexa so hard. If I was at Beyonce and Jay-Z's house, I wouldn't know if I should take my shoes, which is ruder, like that I'm wearing my shoes

or that I took them off. You know what I mean? I feel like the shoes. Like, I'm like, oh, shit. And then I have one shoe on. Now it's going to smell like feet in here. I feel like the shoes that I would be wearing to Beyonce and Jay-Z's house would be rude.

Yeah. Yes. They'd be like, oh, rebox. Rebox. Okay. Comedian. I would stand in front of the mirror Reeboks. Okay. Comedian. I would stand in front of the mirror for like an hour and be like, you are disgusting. Yeah, I kiddin' even. You cannot go to Beyonce's house.

I don't think you can get to the Uber. Piece of shit, yeah. They just, hey, Jill, you all right in there? Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, no, I'm good. I'm just like sweating. Then you look back in the mirror.

You're not fucking good. You're not fucking good. Piece of shit. Oh, now you're a liar too? You just lied to Beyonce. Brianna was right. Your dad fucking hates you. Also, but what a life that you hung out with both of them.

Damn. Seriously, that's the, when you get kicked out, that's the takeaway. Well, I got let in. Yeah. Brianna, excellent pick. Jill, it is time for your first pick. Okay. I'm going to do a USA one because just because I really want to secure this spot.

Sure. Even though I kind of wanted to be brave and see what everyone else did so that I could just take a fall back. Depending on what you do, I might be rude. Mine's super basic. I'm just going to go Taylor Swift. Oh, yeah. Because I genuinely fucking love Taylor Swift.

And I know that's like divisive. It's divisive, I know. But she is a great songwriter. She's fantastic. Is it divisive? I don't know anything about her. No, it's not. Some people really hate Taylor Swift.

Yeah, people fucking hate her. She's so polarizing. Okay, why do people not like her? What's a valid? Okay, well, I mean, from the woke take side of things, since I do spend a lot of time on Twitter, people don't like her because she was functionally silent during the 2016 election, which people say, you know, a big part of her fan base is Trump supporters for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

So like she could have maybe had an impact. And I think that's like a valid thing. But I don't know. I just, here's what always blows my mind about Taylor Swift. When you think about the Backstreet Boys, they had like two albums that were huge over the course of like two years, right?

And we like think of them like they're like legendary pop stars. Taylor Swift has had like six albums. She's been around for more than a decade. Oh, they're amazing.

And she's still like the biggest artist every time. Yes. And they all have cuts on them. Even on Reputation when it came out, I was like,

there's no way that there's going to be cuts on this album like there were on 1989 guess what there were there fucking were

I'm gonna be honest when the first song came out what was the first song Look What You Made Me Do yeah I wasn't thrilled about it I have come around

I do enjoy it now I wasn't thrilled about it but then when everything else started coming I was like damn okay the rest of it's fucking I appreciate her effort

I think like people like roast her all the time because she's a try-hard, which is visible. Yes. She's the girl from Pennsylvania who was weird in high school. Everyone knows that. Such a theater kid. She's trying to shake that off. Yeah.

Is she? Yeah. And then moved to Nashville, right? That's not the pen thing. What if that was my line? Fucking done. I have enough people from Pennsylvania in my life. I'm sorry.

Shout out to Allentown. Like Anne Hathaway, too, got all that shit for being a tryhard. She got Anne Hathaway. And I loved Anne Hathaway the whole time. Same. Yeah, but she totally got Anne Hathaway. She totally got Anne Hathaway. And I don't know.

I appreciate the effort. She just put out that video in this album cycle, Endgame, where it's just her in every city on a yacht with Future, just bawling out. It is such where it's just like her in every city on like a yacht with Future, just like balling out. It is such- She's on a yacht in every city? I'm back in. She's on a yacht in like one or two cities.

But she's like doing cool shit in every city. Yeah, the video opens. Yeah, no, I was just gonna say people like, you know, people were like, you know, she's really like trying so hard. She's trying to like show like, it's a very like Trumpian, like showing all your wealth.

And I'm just like, who gives a fuck? That's what she should be doing. What's Jay-Z doing? What is like every male artist doing? Watch the Big Pimpin' video. That might tell me that's not showing. I mean, it's money. Every rap song is about like showing off your shit.

She's like had a decade long amazing career. Why can't she go on a fucking yacht with Future? Yeah, why can't we spend our money? And be like, I mean, I'm not, when I say we, I don't mean like me, like I spend my money on food for less. But why can't rich people

would just be rich? I got rich, I'm supposed to shut up, kiss my ass. No. And she got rich too. She got rich. She's been rich.

Well, no, I think her family has money. Oh, do they? Yeah. Well, she got this rich. Yeah. She got her own rich. That song's fucking awesome. Well, no. I think her family has money. Oh, do they? Yeah. Well, because she got this rich. Yeah. She got her own rich. That song's fucking awesome.

And then there's videos like Delicate where it's like she's funny and she's just messing around and having a fun little time in that video. I know. And also, I will say, I mean, there's a lot of things that I can start a sentence about. And Style is a perfect song if we're saying it. And so is Delicate. I think Delicate is a perfect song. Delicate was like the new style to me.

Where I was waiting for a song like Style and that's kind of what Delicate was. When they dropped the beat like 35 seconds in, fucking dope. I've always known how much you love Rihanna, but it's very endearing to watch you be so happy about it. Yeah. Taylor Swift, you mean?

Taylor Swift. I was talking about Rihanna. I'm still thinking about Rihanna. No, she's dope. You guys just seem so happy, and I wish I had seen more of these videos. I mean, I'm a little upset because it was going to be my first pick.

I know, I'm sorry. Were you going to go first? That was a smart pick. Everybody knew it was going to be a smart pick. That's why I wanted to knock it off right away. You guys had agreed on so many things. The dank stuff that happened. Yeah.

Yeah. You guys are so freaking up shit. I better take fucking Taylor Swift right now. Here's the thing. I needed to take her because I just went to her concert in like fucking the Rose Bowl. It was the best concert in my life. It was so fucking good. And I got to meet her, which was really cool.

It was like really fucking cool. And like I feel like I've met some like singers and like whatever. And like nothing's ever been like cool. You know, nothing's ever like felt like that, like feeling when when you're a child like before you're in this like stupid fucking industry and like where i was just like glowing and i was like i'm meeting my favorite pop star and she was so so cool like she genuinely here's the thing i know that it's calculated i know all the things that people say about her that she's like conniving and like uses this as a weapon that's a word right there but she, like I went with my friend

and she knew my friend. So there was like, it was a very easy opportunity for the two of them to talk and me to stand there awkwardly and be like, Taylor Swift. You know? She included you though.

She was, the whole time, even when she was talking directly to my friend, she was looking me in the eye and like making me feel included and like touching my shoulder, like making sure that I was in on the conversation when i completely wasn't a good person yeah she's just like you don't have to do that you're fucking taylor swift like i've met you know a bunch of people who don't fucking do that and they're not taylor swift right and again i know it's calculated

but like if you can make everyone if you can make everyone in the room feel like they're they like should be in the room that's an incredible feature that's why she's so big that's great if the calculation if the answer that comes out after the calculation is like, she's a good, nice to people, including them. Is the calculation to make people? That's a great calculation. We should all be doing that now. Yeah, we should calculate that.

I couldn't agree with you more. I try to think about that as much in life. I try to think about that as much as I can. If I meet somebody and if they have a date with them who doesn't know any of us or anything, it's always in the back of my mind. Yes sure this because i feel so awkward when you like if you're at a if you're at a lunch or something and nobody you don't know anyone and nobody acknowledges you're like well fucking yeah of course i'm on my phone because no one's looking at me and now it looks

like in stand-up because i know we have a lot of stand-ups like who listen to this if you're out somewhere and it's like quit being dickheads howheads. How about that, stand-ups? Quit being dickheads for sure. I hate that. Icing out new kids. Yeah, don't box people out. Like physically with your body. Oh, you're fucking cool? Yeah. You don't box?

He just wants to say hi? Oh, you can't stand with me at the improv. Well, guess what? Your tent sucks and you couldn't follow me. Yuck. How about that, orny ass? Yuck. I was just kidding.

Orny's our hour. I was just kidding. No, but fucking like the, the whole, like... But stand-ups do do that. I don't know how many times I've been in a conversation where, like, a comedian's, like, girlfriend or whatever, this is men who do it, otherwise I would say a comedian's boyfriend or whatever,

who, like, their girlfriend is standing there, they came to the show, the show wasn't even that good, what a saint they are for being there, and then you're having, like, i see these conversations happen where she's standing there for like eight minutes no one's even said hello to her kind of thing yeah yeah just so we can so we can talk about a fucking chris rock special yeah yeah that's why we can't talk to her yeah or like the kimmel booker yeah i thought i saw him at this restaurant who gives a shit for god's scared how her fucking day was. I just think like if Taylor Swift can do that,

like if she can get like afford the bare minimum of human decency, then like every person in the fucking world should be able to do that. Yes, we can all do it. Man, that's,

I'm so stoked you got to go to the show. The show was dope though. It was so good. It was so fucking good. I don't know. It's just, it was like a classic like.

We might have to go. Did she do all the cuts? She did all the cuts. She did a mashup of Bad Blood and Should Have Said No, which was insane. Whoa. Really?

Should Have Said No? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's fucking, did she have any special guests? She did. She's pretty cool about that too, right? Like she put,

dude, she brought out, I don't want to say any of these people. She had special guests on one that I'll talk, anyway. I'm ranting. On her last tour that I went to, she went, she, uh. Last tour, you've seen her? I've seen her a few times. She brought out Alanis

Morissette. Like, are you kidding? That's insane. Guys, guys, guys. I know, I know. We gotta stop. Close the freezer. Dig it into lists. We're letting the air out. Here we freezer. All right. Digging into lists. We're letting the air out. Here we go.

David, button your shirt back up. But that is fucking tight. Yeah, that is fucking tight, right? Yeah. It's fucking hella tight. Chantel Jordan, this is how we do it. Time for you to first pick. All right.

I'm gonna go up to the Great White North. Yuck. They have so many. And I'm gonna pick Santa Claus. No, I'm gonna pick Great White North. Just because this is the most recent, I would say, like pop music show that I went to. Yeah. And, oh, it isn't.

No, I'm going to go with my original pick. I'm going to pick The Weeknd. Oh, with the first round? Name three The Weeknd songs. Name four relationships he's gotten you through. Name three hairstyles I was gonna switch my pick When I looked at Ian

I was gonna switch my pick But I didn't, I wanted to go with what I originally planned on What about looking at me made you change your mind? Yeah, what did happen? If it gets back to me, we'll figure it out Oh, it can't get back to me, well I don't want to say Anyway, I just love The Weeknd I've always liked The Weeknd, don't fucking come at me

What's his real name? You don't have to come at me like that. Did you know his name? I know his real name. We're not talking about Lil Boosie, who I didn't know shit about. Dude, don't do that to me. Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me.

Well, I'm just trying to say. You're going to open up an old wound next to the new wound? You can't do that. You're gaslighting me, dude. I made a third one. I'm a good person. All I'm saying is I do like Boos like Boozy but I do like The Weekend Abel Tesfaye

Toronto's own and I only knew his last name because you've told it to me a bunch of times but I saw him at Bumbershoot one year and it was an amazing show

it was I've never seen more more bodies want to have sex with another body than I did

in that it was crazy dude cause his beats are like he has his beats are like hard they're, his beats are like hard. They're like rap. An amazing singer.

I want to say, yeah. Man, when you listen to what he's saying too, you're like, you're as fucked up as me. Yeah. Like literally and figuratively. He's always as fucked up as you are at your most fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's one of those guys. But you just get songs like Starboy and I listened to like 50 times when I first heard it. It's so catchy. The half-punction. So catchy, but he's talking about doing cocaine with his girlfriend. I love it.

That's fine. I talked about doing cocaine like at the Kids' Choice Awards. The first song. Yeah, I know. His very first song. That's relatable to me. Yeah. Or I can't feel my face now.

That's where you would want to be on Coke the most, I feel like. No, but I haven't done that, but what did you guys say? I just had this headache. I don't know if I can handle Nickelodeon on Coke. Slime me, motherfucker! Because when you say Gak, nobody knows what you're talking about. Slang for fucking Coke, dude. Yeah, The Weeknd. I think he's fantastic.

Love the catalog. I just think he's an amazing performer and uh yeah that's some like one quarter drunk you know what i'm gonna put it to bed go to sleep in the dark listening to music oh yeah i'm saying yeah but you had a couple drinks and you're like i could you know what i'm gonna pull back but i'm still sad i'm still sad i don't want to watch tv but i want it to be dark but i want want to be stimulated. I don't associate him with sadness at all. Really? Not at all.

Okay, Sean. Maybe we're listening to different music then. Well, I've been in a good place the most of the time that I've listened. So if I'm in a good place, whatever relationship-wise or whatever it is, if I'm in a good mood, and I can still hear sad music and not think of it as sad, if that makes any sense. I think that about Rihanna

because for some reason, every trauma I've ever had has aligned with Rihanna's albums. And so every album for me is so triggering in a different way. So when I listen to Drunk, what is it called? Drunk in Love or Drunk on Love?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. From Talk, Bad Talk. That song is sad to me. That makes me so sad. Oh man, that happens though sometimes where it's just like, that's just how I was at the time. And it's unfortunate,

but that's one of the super cool things about like pop music. And there's such a good line in High Fidelity that I love. Was I miserable because I listened to pop music or did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Such a fucking fun little line.

I love if we're going to do quotes about pop music. Yeah, please. It is a book and it's a movie. I've read them both. I'm kidding. I didn't watch the movie. I love if we're going to do quotes about pop music. Yeah, please. It is a book and it's a movie. I've read them both. I'm kidding. I didn't watch the movie. I read the screenplay and then I read the novel. The movie Music and Lyrics.

Have you ever seen that? No, I have not. With Drew Barrymore? What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant sounds right up my goddamn alley.

You would love this movie. I can't believe you haven't seen it. It's my favorite movie of all time. I feel like I've let you down when I'm bringing it up. No, it's literally my favorite movie. I have bad taste, I will say. Oh, me too, me too. What are you kidding?

I eat gas station. I love all the pitch perfect movies. I love them. I love Slim Jim. Yeah. We're all. He wants that juice. Those were all food specific ones, but we have bad taste all over the board.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Hugh Grant, he plays like a, in the movie, he plays like a, like X 80s pop star and he's like trying to write a new song. And he says like nothing, you know, Drew Barrymore is trying to write a song for him. And he says she's like worried that her like writer pal is going to think that she's like dumb for writing a pop song. And he's like, nothing will make you feel as good as fast as I got sunshine on a cloudy day. And I'm like, that's so true. Like it's fucking art.

And everyone who rips on it. Everybody likes it. You're not dank. If you rip on it, you're not fucking dank. And also I feel like I noticed people tend to rip on it like in the current state, but then they'll listen to like the Beatles or some shit. And it's like,

you can't, that was pop music at the time. Like it doesn't like, just because it's a different time period. It's the same shit. Yeah. Not shit art dangerously close

to name another artist there is what we got to okay dangerously close I'm not following my own rules dangerously close

I believe I was yelled at earlier once you get in the saddle it's different man anyone can look at a guy riding a bull and think yeah I can do that

I got nine seconds on that motherfucker that's what I think it's eight I got nine dude eight seconds doesn't seem that what I think. I got nine, dude. Eight seconds doesn't seem that long until you're in the saddle. And you feel the sinew of the bull. That's so much sinew, dude. That's all I'll say.

Can that be on the gross words draft? Sinew. Yeah, I was driving back from Palm Springs because I was sunning myself by a pool. Like you got to do every now and then. Ace Hotel. Ace Hotel. Ace Hotel. It's a good pool. That's my favorite one.

Bringing those pina coladas so far. It's like my happy place. Bringing the pina. I love it so much. Let me answer your question. Let me ask you a question. Did your shirt match

the wallpaper of any part of the Ace Hotel? Oh, absolutely, yeah. You know the robes there? Yes. The striped robes. Great robes. Great robes.

That's all I ask. And the rooms are so cool. Yeah. And they have the radio playing when you walk in. It's playing that old 70s station. It's so I have. And the rooms are so cool. Yeah. And they have the radio playing when you walk in. It's playing that old 70s station. It's so fucking sick. I smoked weed with a janitor in the janitor's thing at the Ace Hotel.

With Alan Strickland Williams. Oh, this is the perfect guy to be there. Also made a woman pee her pants. From laughing. Nice. Yeah. From laughing. Not from laughing.

You want a sword? Pee your pants. Jumped out of the janitor's closet high out of my mind. Scared the shit out of some girl. Peel your pants. Hell yeah, I was there. Hawaiian shirt. Anyway.

Tucked into teal pants. Hell yeah. Sitting at Frank Sinatra's table at Melvin's. The food, gross. Really terrible. It's the second time I've been. Wait, at, wait, where? This place called Melvin's in Palm Springs

so I was gonna say the King's Highway or whatever that place is good so good yeah and it's at the Ace but I was like

I wanna go somewhere else went to this other off-site restaurant Frank Sinatra used to eat there I'm thinking I got a steak and a shrimp cocktail

me and friend friend Phoebe Bottoms went there friend of the show friend of the show hell yeah friend of the life hard to screw that up.

It's just like, if Frank Sinatra used to eat here, you should be able to do a shrimp cocktail. How do you do a shrimp cocktail poorly? They were leathery. I felt like these shrimp

died sad. Or if any one of the iris that currently eat there, you know, make a goddamn shrimp cocktail. Well, that's what it is. It's a bunch of old taste buds long gone.

Ew. Time for my first pick, The Weeknd. Sean. Yeah. Yeah. What was your pick. Time for my first pick, the weekend. Sean? Yeah? Yeah, what's your pick? Time for my first pick, and we're flying all the way to the magical island, to Archipelago even, of New Zealand. Shit! Oh, dude! No!

No! Don't take it lower, dude! Lord's flying back with me! I'm gonna be fucked! I'm gonna be fucked up! I was looking for the green light, I saw it, dude, we're flying back. He had to do it! Shit, dude. I'm going to be fucked. I'm going to be fucked up. You had to do it. I was looking for the green light. I saw you were flying back. You had to do it. Shit, dude. I'm going to have to not go to the US until my last round.

I don't know what you would like. I mean, yeah. Yeah, I did. I often do that. You got to stay far away from North America in these early rounds. I'm not worried about North America. I often do that. I apologize.

I should have done that. The pop wunderkind. I never know how to pronounce that word. Wunderkind. Just brilliant beyond her years. How old is she now? She's like, I feel like she's only getting younger. She's like 15.

She's 21. She's 21 right now? She's 21 right now. She was like 16 when that first album came out. Wait, yeah, with Royals and everything? Yeah. Jeez. How do you sing?

How do you do a thing that good at 16? I don't know. Well, okay. Is she opera trained at all? Does she have any training? I was talking to Heather about this. My old roommate. I was talking to her about this.

Heather has opera training. Also, our friend Shane has opera training. Oh, yeah. Shane does have opera training. That's one of the things he lied about, for sure. He's a golden glove boxer. Time to say goodnight. I will never be royal.

I want that note right now. Oh, great. It's not in our blood. Anyways. Yeah, anyway, the first time I heard royals, I was in the car with my old roommate, Heather, and I was taken aback from the song. I was just like, holy shit, this is good.

Yeah. And she filled me in on Lorde, and I'm pretty sure she said that she had opera training. It doesn't say on her Wikipedia, at least not that I can see clearly. Next time you lie to me, Heather, listen up. Next time. Heather, listen up. Heather, tune in, bro. I just feel like Lorde has

so much depth. How do you understand the well of pain that people feel at age 15? The way that she wrote that first album is so painful. Why? What did she go through?

Who hurt you? Who hurt Lorde? I will kill that guy. I'm not out here throwing crazy threats on this podcast all the time. That's not what I'm known for. Don't fucking hurt Lorde. Don't even. You get off. You feel good about yourself? You went back to high school

in New Zealand because you dumped Lorde? you get off. You feel good about yourself? You went back to high school in New Zealand because you dumped Lord, you felt good. Yeah. You ate a Kiwi, played some rugby. I don't know who I'm talking about. I don't know the place I'm mocking

at this point. David's having a stroke. Lord is the, Lord is the one support beam holding back a world of hurt from coming down on you. World of pain. A world of pain.

The fantasy everything extended family will come down on you. A world of pain. A world of pain. The fantasy everything extended family will come down on you. One support beam. I will descend upon thee! She's just amazing. Both the albums are like, it's two, right? Two, yeah.

Okay, it would be really embarrassing if I got that wrong. She's my first pick. I love all six. Love all six of her albums. They're just amazing, like pop bangers. That Greenlight song came on the radio the first time I heard it. I played it again immediately after.

Shazam it? No, because I was listening to her album. Yeah, yeah. On the treadmill. She makes songs that you can listen to on the treadmill because they become like super powerful

she's the queen of like sad girl jams yeah there's that song that kind of slaps on fucking Mockingjay 2 yeah dude that's really good

and I remember her performance first time I saw it she had on full lipstick and then just did the wiped her hand across her face smeared the lipstick up on her cheek and just stand there

like breathing all heavy and I was like holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. This girl's buck is shit. She's tough as hell. Yeah.

Just like war paint for real. She's going to do some wild shit before it's all said and done. Oh yeah. Hopefully. Imagine Lorde at 40. Jesus. Imagine the album she puts out. Yeah.

Fuck. She might perform with a sword. It might be Lorde with a sword. Just a whole tour where she's holding. She falls onto a sword. That's her final performance. Right. Oh God. The Joan of Arc tour

just getting it done that's so fun like the flaming sword of Damocles yeah I just see her out there with a sword singing that was a weird reference

that was great dangling yeah I just fucking dig it she's dramatic and powerful yeah and she's from New Zealand

which is perhaps the most can't believe you knocked that one out that was good man I really thought highway I'm already realizing how foolishly she's from New Zealand, which is perhaps the most... I can't believe you knocked that one out. Man, I really thought... I'm already realizing how foolishly I went into this, and I'll pay for it. It ain't old Zealand. You ain't telling it like it isn't, my friend.

I didn't have a strategy. Now I'm realizing I should have planned... You said you could go off top. I hope that we pick all your choices and you have to go off top. I'm getting... The walls are already closing. Now, where's the plan? Where are you have to go off top. I'm getting... The walls are already closing in. Now, where's the point? Where are we going to next, Mr. Carmel?

Because I have a competition in me. Fire in his belly. This isn't maybe necessarily the... This isn't the second person I would take, but because of the parameters... Right, no, yeah, I get it. ...of this draft... Where are we playing?

Well, I'm in the corner watching you kiss her. Wow. But the corner's in Sweden, and I'm taking Robin. Robin hits the phone. Good one. Whoa! Dating all the way back to that first song when Robin was on the scene. What the fuck song was that?

It is, honestly, it's the only one that I know of. It's that show, fuck. Show me love, right? Show me love, yeah, yeah. Yeah, show me love. Yeah. Show me love. When she first, that was, that song is so fun.

It makes me think about like dancing with your arms out. Opening your arms up. I didn't believe. I didn't think that was the current Robin. Like when I found out that that was the same Robin, I didn't believe it for a long time. She like really like changed. That's a huge transformation. Or just growing in your art or whatever, but it's like.

That came out in 1997. Yeah. That sounds right. That's insane. That was a in your art or whatever. But it's like, that came out in 1997. Yeah, that sounds right. That's insane. That was a Sean George high school cut. I was a mere freshman. Barely picked up a skateboard at that time.

Yeah, I mean, if you were a freshman, I was four. No, I was, I was like a junior high, I guess. Robin's fucking bad. She's been over there

in Sweden just killing it fairly consistently. But every now and then, yeah, we'll pop back up in America with a... What a fun feeling that would be. Right? Where like, I'm over here owning it. And then I feel like going over to the States every now and again and just checking in.

Let them know. When she dropped Body Talk, that was the album that hit in America again that had like Dancing On My Own and that other fucking one. What year are we talking? Body Talking? We're talking like 2013-ish. Call Your Girlfriend?

Yeah. Yeah, that was a good song. Yeah, Call Your Girlfriend. Ugh, classic. Oh, it's so good. That was such like a moment. Didn't they like, they parodied it on SNL and shit?

Did they actually do Call Your, but it totally was a moment where like you couldn't go anywhere where people were dancing without like one or both of these Robin songs playing. Call your girlfriend.

At Bridgetown Comedy Festival. That's not how it goes. Call your girlfriend. Robin, Robin, what'd you do with Ian? Bring Ian back, Robin. It's not as good

as my Michael McDonald. Maybe if I- No, no, it's not. All right. Call your girl- Call your girlfriend now. Call your girlfriend Call your girlfriend now Call your girlfriend Alright, it's falling apart

It's like watching you try to hold sand David, that was one of the funniest things I've ever heard Boy, that was funny of the funniest things I've ever heard. Boy, that was funny. My friend. Thought somebody knew. Better? No. I love it.

No, no, not better. Keep going, but no. At Bridgetown, but those are the songs that, like, would get played every year at the Bridgetown after party. There's a few songs you have to play. That you have to play. Yeah. We won't name them just in case the other artists.

But those two Robin songs, dance floor. Thick. Immediately. Thick. A thick dance floor. A thick dance floor. Oh, if you see Bridgetown Bodies, it's thick. It's thick in there.

I'm rolling with the sweat towel. I don't know what you're doing. I'm rolling with Molly. For a double dose of the comfort food. I don't know what this is. I went out there with my elbows. Thick thighs and sweaty guys. That's that dance floor.

Some of this. Checking my room at the Bridgetown Dance. Oh, yeah. I went dancing on Saturday night and it was weird. Was it? Yeah. I'll tell you. What was weird about it?

It was, I don't know. You killed that guy right before you went. I killed that dude. That'll do it. That'll be a weird move. I just hadn't been dancing for a while. Sure. I forgot what the vibe was.

You're a good dancer, though. It takes a while to get into it, you know? Yeah, yeah. When you're kind of standing there and you're like, I need another drink. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. I didn't want to pay for drinks, though, and I hadn't been smoking or anything. So I was just up there with people really going.

Yeah. It's like you pretty much. It was like a 90s dance party. Yeah. You know, shout out to groove well productions feel woods and them i see you say what uh shut up it's like you pretty much gotta wait for that song that does it for you you know you can't just jump in if you don't yeah yeah like it's like you're locked yeah like that one fucking drake song comes on you're like oh shit and the tumblers start to turn

now you're twisting it yeah because. Because sometimes I go nuts. I've been known to go nuts on, I'll body roll, I don't give a shit. Me and the half Amalia was on at the closing party for our London shows, really got after it. Really did some heavy lifting on that dance floor.

Sometimes you just gotta howl at the moon. Blow the fucking doors off. You're like, I also love my bed and my mama. Yeah. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry. I'm not sorry. No, I ain't sorry about that. I and my son. I did pantomime all of Mr. Brightside by The Killers.

That did happen. I know you were thinking. Oh man, sometimes when you're drunk and you're dancing and then you're pantomiming. Now I'm having a concert. Right? You came to this show. I'm the show. I'm the show. Me and one of the writer's wives pantomimed all of Mr. Brideside together.

That's the best. That's the best. Then I went and had gin and tonic to cool down, because I couldn't. Love that. I couldn't just dance to whatever was after that. You always think that as a big guy on the dance floor, you're generating a lot of heat. A lot of heat. Like, I'm getting smoke coming off the top of my head.

People are getting, like, it's hotter around me. It's hotter around, my aura is hot. And then I go and I get a mixed drink. Like that shit's going to cool me off. Like I'm going to fucking feel, I'm just going to get drunker and go back out there. Time and gin. Did you get the, did you get like the deep V? The V.

Like the sweat chain? The sweat V. It's like a chain, but it's sweat. Heavy. Yeah. Heavy fucking. But once it gets deep enough.'s sweat. Heavy. Yeah. Heavy fucking junkyard dog. Yeah, but yeah. Junkyard dog.

I like that. I was wearing kind of a thick Hawaiian shirt, though, so it was hard to see. With all the pattern, it was hard to tell where I was sweating, which is good. Yeah, that's nice. Sometimes, though, you've got to just embrace it and be like, what's up? I'm that guy. Well, you see a high plains. I'm going to be, yeah.

I'm going to go nuts. Yeah. You're more like that. We've got an IV guy coming. Yeah. The'm that guy. Well, you see a high plains. I'm gonna go nuts. Yeah. We got an IV guy coming. The drunkyard dog. I was trying to work that in when it was when you guys were talking about it. I couldn't. What I did is I waited and I still said it. Nice.

See, what I did is I waited for everything to die and I was like, no, the drunkyard dog. Polite. Robin. Sean, time for your second pick. Boy, I'm already, I already feel so fucking stupid, second pick Boy I'm already I already feel so fucking stupid So I guess I'm just gonna have I'm just gonna have to lean into it

So I'm going to A little place called Zanzibar What? What? Freddie Mercury Oh my god Wait he's from He's not from Zanzibar

He's from Zanzibar Born in Zanzibar He was born in I thought he was British He is So did I Yeah Until today

Damn it. He's on my list. Little place called Zanzibar. Zanzibar. Freddie Mercury. And I was worried, thank you for the reactions. I was worried he wasn't going to necessarily fit in to the theme of the first couple rounds. Is he a pop star?

He is definitely a pop star. I will say that with complete certainty. Even though he's in a band. Even though he's in a band. I'm just. He's like, cause he's kind of also like, I think you can sneak him in there because he's a gay icon. You know what I mean?

Sure. If you're like a queer icon, you're a pop star. And he himself is as big as, or bigger than Queen ever. You know, he's another guy bigger than his band. Right. Name another guy. The drummer. The guitar player.

Is that true? I think that's one of them. I love Queen. The drummer. The drummer. The fucking other, you know what I mean? Yeah. The guy who helped Freddie Mercury get into that yellow outfit.

Yeah. Freddie Mercury. Fantastic. Just, I mean, I was wondering how we're going to broach. Also, Zanzibar is not what the place is called. I don't know if we're going to pull that off the board for Sean and let me take it. No, we're not. You're going to tell me what it's called.

Maybe we should. You're a gentleman. Oh, now it's called Tanzania. Oh, I apologize. I apologize. But he was, at the time, it was called

the Sultanate of Zanzibar. There it is. When he was born, it was called Zanzibar. Okay, that's right. So he would say, if he were still able to say, he would say he was born

in Zanzibar. What's his real name? Don't want to tell you. Farouk? And I do, I have it written down so I could tell you. But I don't, I don't appreciate these questions. Okay, I don't, I'm just, I don't know why I'm. Farouk? And I do. I have it written down, so I could tell you. But I don't appreciate these questions.

Okay. I don't know why I'm doing it. I'm kidding. I appreciate him, dude. I feel like I'm going hard on you. I love Freddie Mercury, too. He's fantastic. Yeah.

I was wondering how we were going to do it with the band situation, because there are... It's going to come up again. Not every lead singer is a pop star, but I think Freddie Mercury is for sure a pop star. Yeah. In his case, when you completely eclipse everyone, no disrespect, but he's just, you have to

be a lunatic to not be eclipsed by Freddie Mercury. He's just fantastic. And I've drafted him before. We did a late night draft and I drafted him as my band leader. You did, Bobby. I listened to that episode. That's the one I listened to. Yeah, I blew it on that one.

I really blew it on that episode, but neither here nor there. What is some of your favorite Freddie Mercury performances? When we won the championship for our seventh grade football team that I didn't play. That's the song you're gonna?

Yeah, I was like, what? No, it's just a fun. What if it's Killer Queen that they listen to in the library? When we won and we became the champions, we played Killer Queen.

The story is that I didn't play a minute of that game. Not one minute. And we won and they played We Are the Champions and I still ran out there and I was like, fuck you, We Are the Champions. We all are the champions. That song is like, that'll get you going. That will. If you haven't listened to that in a sports arena, you haven't lived. I take my shares and kicks in the face. And I've come through.

Does it go like that? I love Robin. She's back. Is that Robin's transition? Also at a skating rink, that song really goes hard. Oh, yeah. Skating rink songs. I didn't even think about that.

Oh, that's a whole. Oh, my gosh. When I was into the skating rink, Heavy is when Bohemian Rhapsody came back. Heavy. From Wayne's World. That's how I learned Bohemian Rhapsody. I love how dramatic and baroque that Freddie, most of his best songs were.

You know what I mean? Were they just like decadently elegant kind of thing? They are. They really are. Yeah. It's like chocolate covered strawberries. It's like a corn, yeah. Or like a cornucopia full of like rich spiced meats.

Ooh, so yeah. But like by using eats. Cured meats. But with apricots. Yeah, apricots. Overstuffed velveteen. I don't even know what that, I don't understand what you're describing. 70-year-old whiskeys.

Yes. Ooh, yeah. Okay, now we're done. I don't know anything about whiskey, so. Freddie Mercury. Feels like that. Yeah, Freddie Mercury. Also, him and somebody else who shall remain unnamed had a song in a skateboard video that I really like.

Jaws was never my scene and I don't like Star Wars. You know that one? No. All right. Should I just keep singing? Yeah. Please do my job for me. Would it please the court?

This draft is going to have to be carefully curated on my end because I blew it so hard coming out of the gate. You didn't blow it. Well, no, but for me I did because I went to Canada too quick. I wrote down Fred Mercury. As he's known by. Fredland. Fredo. Fredo Merc.

Fredo Merc, bro. Jill, it's time for your second pick. Okay. I'm trying to decide between two because I'm worried about one getting knocked out. I think. Well, you get to go in two more picks though. I know. Okay.

That alleviates this a little bit. I'm going to go with someone who I hope that you all react strongly to, but I'm not sure if you will, which might suck if I say it then. Dua Lipa from the UK. She's pretty new. I haven't gotten into Dua Lipa yet. Because she's pretty new. I feel like I'm gonna soon.

No one? I, no. She's awesome. I mean, I'm gonna put it on in the car on the way back. Yeah, we'll definitely love the car. Okay, let me give you, let me give you, like, the basic needs for, like, Dua Lipa. Talk us into Dua Lipa, please.

You gotta watch the New Rules music video. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. It's, like, coolest music video ever. Okay. You gotta watch the IDGAF music video. I don't give a fuck. I like that. She doesn't say it, but yeah.

She's just like really cool. She is from the UK. I was a big Sporty Spice fucking guy, you know what I mean? Is she like a newer Sporty Spice? I feel like she is like a reincarnation of Sporty Spice because she almost exclusively wears sports bras and, once again, Adidas. Adidas.

Look at this product placement and you're not even sports-ing. Adidas track pants look is a strong low. She literally just wears sports bras and flyaways and it's just awesome. Fuck yeah. Yeah, it's fantastic. Are those back yet?

They are. We need to thank it's fantastic. Are those back yet? They are. And I literally, we need to thank Dua Lipa for bringing back like sportswear for women. Like that's cool again. You know, I feel like Kylie Jenner like tries to do that kind of, you know, sports bra Calvin Klein.

Yeah. But Dua Lipa. But Dua Lipa's up there doing, because she's like up on stage. Yeah, Kylie Jenner's not. Sort of by the need for some sportswear, for some athleisure yeah she's got great music videos she's got a great look and body her real name is dualipa that's crazy which

is crazy like i was i was always like what is dualipa she's albanian that's just her real name she's an albanian action bronson yeah but she's from the uk though yeah parents are albanian i looked it up the being named dualipa in real in real life is just enough to get you on this list. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, it's just also weird because I follow her on Instagram, and sometimes she posts pictures with her siblings and stuff. Yeah.

And I didn't know at first that her real last name is Lipa, or Lipa, however you say it. And so she'll tag her siblings, and it'll be whatever the kid's name is, Lipa, on Instagram. And I always think that's so weird to be like, I don know i just like i thought that was like one name until you just said that chris lippa it sucks to not be like john lippa yeah john lippa huh yeah do as my sister right it just feels like if you know like if lady gaga's damn it i shouldn't have said that but if her siblings were just named like Joe Gaga, Bobby Gaga like it

Hi I'm Joe Gaga I'm gonna start a bakery You might know my sister My real name Joe Gaga I'd like you to give me about $25,000 to open a bakery please Worked out for my sister I have to write checks that say Joe Gaga on them every day It's Gaga

It's Gaga. Gaga. No, it's common misconception. It's actually Gaga. Are you related to, no, it's completely different. No, no. Dude, leave it. She looks fucking cool.

Yeah, we're singing her teeth in. So what's the song? What's the video we should check out? New Rules. Watch that video. New Rules. That's the best one. And then IDGAF.

Yeah, the IDGAF one is cool. Is the New Rules song about Bill Maher? No. New rules. All right, good. New rules. David, it's time for your second and third picks.

Hot corner. Uh-huh. What's going on over there? Hot corner. What country? Where are you flying to? I don't even know. I don't even know.

Taking off from LAX, where are we landing? All right. Stay away from Tanzania. Take off from LAX. Yeah. You know? Stay away from Tanzania. Take off from LAX. Yeah. You know what? I'm just, I'm going to go to Toronto.

Oh. Oh, here we go. Yep. And I'm going to pick. Shit. Of course you are. Because there's a few. I think that I will pick

Drake yeah you have everyone already yeah I think that I will pick Drake that's why I looked at Ian because we were talking about Drake Vegas or Las Drakas

also oh yeah that's gonna be incredible that's why yeah there was another guy from up but yeah I think Drake is the Canadian

I'm gonna take absolutely I mean what more can you say about the guy how do you listen to Scorpion have a There was another guy from up, but yeah, I think Drake is the Canadian I'm going to take. Absolutely. I mean, what more can you say about the guy? How do you listen to Scorpion? Have I? There's some stuff on there. Have I? Yeah.

Because you guys know, I just recently went through a breakup. Yes. Pretty much the day Scorpion came out. I think it was. That's how it happens. Yeah. I think that I felt it. Drake's like, people are sad, dropping an album.

Dude, it was like, I listened to it once and then I had to chill, but then I went back last week. But right then, it's like, woof. You know what I mean? Lock the phone up. If you're in a dark place, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. If you're in a dark place when a Drake album comes out, you better watch it.

Oh, you really better watch it. Because all he talks about is talking to his ex. It's the whole thing. And then the weekend, too, it's really going to justify some self-destructive behavior. They just make you get drunk and then text your ex. Shit. You know what I mean? Let's go to Jumbo's plan room at 1 p.m.

Do you have a free drug that you can get your hands on? The weekend's like, yeah, do every fucking drug, dude. All of them. Do it right now. Heavy amounts. Don't dabble. Do heavy amounts. And then call her and tell her how sad you are that you did all these drugs. Walk down the middle of a. Do it right now. Heavy amounts. Don't dabble. Call her and tell her how sad you are that you did all these drugs. Walk down the middle of a busy street on the phone.

You know what I appreciate about Drake so much is that he really incorporates voicemails and the whole calling aspect. Oh, my Zoom? Are you drunk right now? And you're like, oh no, I am. But we used to do that in the 2000s and 90s.

There was always phone shit or at least the sound of a click. You know what I mean? Like, hey, girl, click. He still does that and that's awesome. It is great. It's theatrical. Yeah. Such a good element.

That's a really good point. He's a great pop star, too. He really is. The way he did it is cool. I think that the way he handled this last beef, not rap star, but he really pop star. That's how you know he's a pop star. Because on a rapper level, he totally got beat. But as a pop star, I forgot I'm Upset was a diss record.

I know. I was just like, oh shit, it's a Degrassi re-upload. It's such a strategic move. It was genius, it's a Degrassi reunion. It's like such a strategic, like as a strategic move, it was like genius. He's a pop star. And I was wondering like, what is he going to do? How is he going to bounce back from that? He did the only thing he could.

He ran away. I mean, you know. What are you going to do, dude? You want to play that game? You're going to play that game. You got to play like that. You can't. No, you can't.

You got to just like. You're not that guy. I also love that like, I mean, this is like pretty pretty lame i know this is like a lame thing to like but like when there's those viral dance moments like now there's the in my feelings challenge i love watching people's challenge videos yeah you're not gonna like anything lamer than anything that i bet it did oh that's in my feelings i can. I literally can't wait to go out and hear that song. It hasn't been out since it's come out. It's so good.

So many of his songs are not songs I would like, but then he just did something. Hotline Bling is like, if another person made that song, I don't think I would like it that much. The video brought me around.

His stupid dancing in a turtleneck? I hate people who dance in turtlenecks. But he's having fun. He's dancing goofy. He's kind of a nerd. He's fine with it. James Turrell-ass lights. Those fucking ridiculous dance moves.

He makes like cultural moments, I think. Like Hotline Bling was such a moment like cultural moments, I think. Like Hotline Bling was such a moment. Which is, we need. It's nice because the culture is so shattered. Anytime anything even approaches monoculture, it's cool. Oh yeah, anything that Calvinizes us.

Be fucking happy. Be a nerd. Like, be nice. He's also sad. Yeah. Oh yeah. He's very vulnerable. Vulnerable. He's vulnerable. You know. He's very vulnerable. Vulnerable.

He's vulnerable. He's vulnerable. You know what his pop star reply to the Pusha T beef that your sister is press and play, your trainer is press and play, your wifey, your wifey. And it's like, oh yeah, the whole time we were never going to stop listening to Drake. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no. He was never going to use that. Drake. No, no, no. Pusha might have won, but did he? You're like, he won on points, but we were never going to stop fucking with Drake.

He won in the game that he was going to win. I'm never going to think about that beef and be like, but it's like, you struck out Michael Jordan. Yeah, I know a lot of dudes who got beat up one time. We still hang out. He won a battle in an ongoing war. Yeah. And I love Pusha. Pusha was maybe my favorite rapper, but I was like, I'm not going to stop fucking listening

to Drake. Yeah. Yeah, you don't have to. Let's stop listening to him. I'm not going to stop listening to Pusha. I'll listen to them both. And then moments later, it was like, Kiki, do you love me? You don't think I want to scream, Kiki, do you love me?

Yeah. Come on. Kiki, do you love me? Yeah. Are you riding? I want to do a challenge yeah right fall out of cars in the last four years i said there's like i there's like this one girl i know who i used to like work on a nickelodeon

show with she's like 15 and her and her friends who are like 13 just made this video and they like fall out of the car i was like yes go, yes, go in. It's so good. It's so great. It's so great. And I can't get it out of my head. I've been thinking about that all week. It's so good. All right.

And your third pick, Barbados, Canada. Barbados, Canada. Okay. You're having a fun little road trip so far. Yeah, I got a weird little thing I'm doing. And here's my question. Okay. Because I want to pop down to not the United

States okay but it is the United States protector oh I think that's okay I think we're yeah is that okay yeah okay especially recently ignored them in a disaster yeah exactly I'm going to bounce down to Puerto Rico. Yes, sir. Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico. Lips are devil raised, and her skin's the color of mocha. Fucking Ricky Martin, man. Oh, my God. I fucking... Her lips are devil red. Her skin's the color of mocha. That shit, I didn't even know...

I didn't know... I had not had sex when that song came out. It was far from it. But that song made me feel sexy. And I'm here to now, if we have little boys who are listening to it, if the song makes you feel sexy. Don't do drugs. No, that's not what I was going to say.

Don't do drugs. I was going to say embrace it because I hate it. I hate it from all my little dirt bag friends. I was going to say, embrace it. Because I hate it. I hate it from all my little dirtbag friends. I hate it under a bushel. People would be like, do you like Ricky Martin? I'd be like, I listen to the locks, dude. I listen to fucking DMX. It's dark and hell is hot.

Only number two through five. I don't even fuck with the later tracks. I'd be in my room like, that song just meant a lot to me man no I feel you I mean I did that almost until like five six years ago I'd listen to shit

that I had an I had some I had some choice albums in high school that I would like I would hide when my friends got in the car

oh that's so sad that we do that to people I know I had to I mean everyone has it I also though I didn't understand my feelings either so I get that it would be crazy if i went to football practice and was like hey living la vida loca makes me feel sexy yeah but so so i also but i

wanted to say one more thing about ricky martin i love that there's several iterations i love that you can go from menudo to like mid-level to like later ricky martin who's out and free and everything like that. I like him. What was the other big Ricky Martin song? Not Living La Vida Loca. And I know there was a bunch, but there's one other one I'm thinking of. Oh, the one that William Hung sings.

She Bangs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She Bangs. Sorry for bringing up William Hung. I'm so sorry. I was going to take William Hung. I forgot that he's saying that. What a fucking, what a thing that turned into, I hope he got so much money out of that.

I swear to God I saw him at the mall the other day. I swear to God. I hope he's fucking ripped out of his mind. I know that face. Do you know how many times I watched that clip? Yeah. I know that face. And I was like, that's, like William Hunt lives in LA.

No, it was in the Galleria. No, I don't see it. Americana? There are actually malls outside of Glendale. Yeah. I don't know. That's a great addition. I mean, you can say whatever you want.

You can say pumpkin pie doesn't taste like pumpkins. But there aren't malls anywhere else. There's perpetrators. Anyway, I hope William Hung's rich. I hope he's good, yeah. Shout out to William Hung. Also, just one more thing. Ricky Martin did a lot of Spanish stuff.

Yeah, absolutely. Then became a Spanish citizen or something like that, right? In Spain? Yeah, I think so. There was a weird thing about that. What's he up to now? Is he still cranking shit up? He bangs.

He bangs. He moves still. He still moves, yeah. He bangs. He bangs. He moves still. He still moves. Yeah, he moves. He bang, he moves. Like every Ricky Martin in history. He bang, he moves. What's Ricky Martin do?

He bang, he move. You know. And I just also, white pants, white shirt, unbuttoned in various places is cool. It's a style icon. A look that I want. You want to look like that. He always looks like he's about to go to a party on a boat. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? He just left sort of a dinner situation. Yeah. And now they're going to a party on a boat. But it's Miami, so they ate outside. Yeah, they ate al dente. Yeah, they ate al dente.

Or maybe he left a dinner situation, got onto one of those weird planes that can go on water, got into that with that linen suit on, and then it flew him to the next beach location where he did the next beach thing. You know what he seems like to me? He seems like people are always handing him handheld seafood. Does that make sense? Like, people are always like, Ricky, try this shrimp. And he's like, oh, delicious, mama.

Or I don't know. Delicioso. I like the sound you made when you ate it. That was a shrimp noise. Que rico. you ate it. That was a shrimp noise. Que rico. Que rico. That was tight, dude. And then he just like, and I feel like he's always half dancing.

Yeah. Like they're like, Ricky, do you want some champagne? And he's like, hey, mama. Yeah, yeah. And he just does like a little hip thing, you know what I mean? Just a couple swivels. Yeah, just a couple swivels. Yeah.

He's not stirring the whole shake. You know what I'm saying? I bet when he does a couple swivels, though, that's like if like George Foreman You know what I'm saying? I bet when he does a couple swivels though, that's like if like George Foreman just sort of like tapped you on the side of the head.

Oh, it hurts. Yeah. So powerful. Because I feel like it's like... Mechanics are so perfect. Yeah, like it's like you know when people

do the hip swivel and it's got to be like nobody can see this but it's like bang, bang. Like it's got to pop up. The hips hurt. You got to pop the hip up. It's like if you attach

like the visuals like if you attach a string to each hip and you pull up like a marionette. Like it's hard. Yeah, like the visual is like if you attach a string to each hip and you pull up like a marionette. Pop. It's hard. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Like the Conan. Yeah. Like the Conan O'Brien dance. But like in a circular. With like seven lumberjacks on each pulley. Just pop in the hips.

Yeah. The Ford and Newell team. Pop. Pop. Pop. Yeah. The power team on each side. Jill, to start with, are you a third pick?

I'm going to go down to Havana, Unana for Camila Cabello. Yeah. Yeah. Cuba, to be clear. She was born in Cuba? She was born in Cuba. Cuba. Cuba.

Cuba. I like her a lot. I didn't stan at first. I was a little bit nervous when she left Fifth Harmony. Yes. I didn't know she was in Fifth Harmony. She was in Fifth Harmony, yeah. Super controversial again.

She left. All right. And I felt like. What was the beef? I don't know. All right. I don't know. Google it, bro.

All right. All right. Yeah. Yeah. That's for you. You trying to get Jill sued no I apologize

take it to court I have no idea look I don't want to get sued no I don't want you to get sued please sue me but uh

try it I think when she left I was nervous I thought wait we need more time with Fifth Harmony I thought the same thing when Zayn left

One Direction I thought we need more time we need like one more album it fucked a lot of people up and it was like we like fans need thought, we need more time. We need one more album. It fucked a lot of people up. And it was like, fans need more time. We need more time to make another album. This is not enough. And I was worried that she wouldn't have the star power yet on her own to go off.

And I was fucking wrong. She's awesome. I mean, it's a valid concern, though. And not in a way where I was like, she's not talented enough. Like, she's absolutely, like, she's a killer. But, like, yeah, I was just worried. I was like, I think she needs more time to develop herself as an artist before she leaves. I was fucking wrong.

What do I know? She's awesome. You know a lot, first of all. Yeah. I feel like also, though, in a group sometimes, we don't know what they can do when they're off the chain. Right, right. You know what I mean? You're like, in a group, they are still like,

you don't know. I didn't know it was going to be Bobby Brown. I just thought it was another kid in New Edition. Zayn didn't... I know. Sean's a good death class. Names. I'm old.

I'm old. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't think about that. Zayn is probably safe to bring up. Zayn, he had some good songs on there, but I don't think it went the way he thought maybe it was going to go.

I think a lot of those boys. Yeah, I feel like they each had. Without bringing up certain names. They each like clearly had. It's like they lost direction. I'm sorry, guys. They really went different ways. It just feels like they all had a clear idea,

like musically and like image wise, what they wanted to do. And none of it really stuck. But Camila like fully became a pop star. Like she's fully her own entity. You know what I mean? She's on Taylor with tour with Taylor Swift. I saw her open at that concert.

It was awesome. She's that song Sangria Wine with Pharrell. Probably shouldn't say that either. But I don't know. He No, I did. I'm just doing it more to be dramatic. It's more fun for me than just being like, hey, what are you saying, Bobby Brown? She's a great dancer. He's sweating.

She's a great dancer. She has great choreography. She's got like, I think she's a full package. Yeah. Five-year-old player. Do you feel like going forward, how important do you think dancing will be for pop stars of the future i think it is thank you for bringing this up no i think about i think about it a lot just because it's like yeah when i think of a pop star i'm like you're supposed to be able to do it all but it feels like maybe it won't no here's what i think i think we lost touch a little bit with

dancing over the last like decade when it used to be really important when like you know backstreet boys and like everything those were like dance moves like those were like one direction never fucking danced and which was fine it worked for them but the backstreet boys if you watch their old videos now you're like oh they fucking ripped yeah they were once again the hand in front of the bar yes yes torn acl was a real risk with the backstreet boys. That might have happened. They were really leaving it all on the dance floor. I think that dancing is so

important, especially for female pop stars, because I feel like it's just so part of the excitement. To watch them with backup dancers, if you're a solo artist, it's so important to have a... I don't know. No, I agree. and videos are back now full on yes i feel like that so happy i also feel like the kids are dancing yeah that's like good for everyone now that because there were years

where you like there was that weird limbo where mtv was gone and youtube wasn't really you couldn't get it on every tv it wasn't easy to do and now you can just go to your tv and watch any youtube so videos are full-on back They're back important again for people to be like oh, all right. Well, I'm gonna make a fucking video. I'm gonna dance There's gonna be a plot we're gonna have some stuff going on even like Bobby Shmurda dancing was like Think Freddy Bobby Shmurda on the same he's out in 15 months. Keep your head up. Is he really? Yeah.

Yeah. But no, I think that, because I think about that a lot with pop stars and it's just like, I like the dance. I think that that's like what makes people like, obviously I have so many names I want to say, but that's what like puts you over the top to me. Of course. It's like you can also dance like then it's like. Oh, yeah.

I think that like elevates you fully. Like I think like Taylor Swift could get away with it in the beginning because she was more of like a strummy, you know, guitar kind of pop star. But now that she's like fully into like pop group of things, I like that she's dancing more. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. I like it. I'm glad that we got to talk about dance. Thank you for bringing that up. Anytime. We're going to dance on over to Sean Jordan's pick. I'm glad that everyone else is doing so well, because I'm not thrilled about mine.

You're not even doing it. I know. It's going all right. All right. As long as it's going okay. It's going great. Maybe you're a star. Thank you, buddy.

We'll see what you guys think about this next pick. Now, you've got to look at me, Joe, because I need... So we're going to go down to... I was editing my list. Trinidad and Tobago. Oh, really? Nice. I just wrote this down. That's what I was writing down when you said that.

And we're going to pick Michael Bolton. I'm kidding. We're picking Nicki Minaj. It was going to happen. I'm so sad. Michael Bolton was not born in Trinidad and Tobago. I literally was moving that up my list when you were like, Jill, pay attention to me. And I was like, wait, hang on. Let me just finish writing Nicki Minaj. I hope I didn't... Jill, stop working

on your list. I apologize. I thought you were going to take the hockey team from Mighty Ducks. The only thing I know Trinidad and Tobago.

Now I'm thrilled. I'm happy that I stole a pick. No, that's a great one. That was on mine too. Yeah, that was another one that I was like, I thought it was

going to be sneaky again because I was like, people are going to think she's from the US. I did. I didn't know she was from Trinidad or Tobago

for that matter. Yeah, no, both. We don't talk about toboggans. My favorite toboggan. Oh yeah, she's just dope. And I guess to go into the video aspect of it, she's had some dope videos. Which I'm thrilled about.

Oh, hell yeah. You know what we don't talk about enough? She had an entire album, an entire phase, where her whole shtick was that she was schizophrenic yeah and we were all like okay cool dope yeah like that's crazy right roman's revenge roman's revenge yeah she had like different characters that she was like these are all the people in my head and we were all like nice i love pop music and she's just like crying out like, well actually, maybe someone help me out. this is a problem. Cool beat. That's a cool beat.

We're doing it to Kanye right now. He's like, I'm bipolar. I'm struggling so much. We're like, nice. I love this song.

Fucking slamming. As long as Kid Cudi's still there. Yeah, Onika Minaj. Good fucking pick. Yeah. Simple songs.

Like some of them can be like Bees in the Trap. Simple. Not a lot to it. Such a good song yeah such a good song such a good song she's also a person that i think like adds to people's music like you know what i mean like the song uh actually i don't know if i should say this oh yeah hey what are we doing no

i'm kidding uh i'm not gonna say it but she there are certain songs where somebody will say it eventually she adds when she puts on a verse someone's song she makes better we can say the song i mean the right the first time i heard it well the first time i heard it was she puts on a verse, someone's song makes better. We can say the song. I mean, the first time I heard it, well, the first time I heard it was a guest on a song and I was like, holy shit. And the range that she has, like she can sing. She can, she has that weird, like that, like cute rap, you know? Right. And then she can also fucking spit.

Yeah. And she's an amazing performer. Yeah. Amazing performer. Have you seen her? No, I haven't. Not personally. But I was going to say, she has this VMAs performance that I always consistently come

back to when she did Anaconda. And it was just this wild performance. And she just like, I didn't know that she could move. And I was, she's wild. That video makes me feel like I jumped out of a plane. That's the only reaction. That's correct. David's got the window open.

He's halfway out right now. We're on the second story. But also, is it weird to say I like the colors that she always, like. No, her palette. Yeah, like great palette. The theme of like her color. Even in the videos and stuff like that. The brightest lipstick you can get.

You're going to love Dua Lipa then. Really? Yeah, she's got a great palette. I like a good color palette. And some people kind of blow it as far as just using colors. Is it Bees in the Trap? No, it wasn't. Or she has on 15 different shades of lipstick?

What? Like super bright blue lipstick. I'm trying to think of the video it is, but is it Bees in the Trap? I can't remember. I don't know. Well, anyway, it's a whole bunch of them, too. She's dating back to, I remember the first song I heard on Nicki Minaj on was called Massive Attack. was called Massive Attack

yes Massive Attack yeah that was a weird video weird video so from day one she's had this fucking weird aesthetic

like known who she was and been like I don't know I just love that carrying on almost like the Missy Elliott legacy of just things being like

that's 100% from the fucking future yeah I never really thought about it like that yeah that is a good point. Because Missy Elliott, her whole thing in the late 90s, early 2000s, her videos were moments.

So Missy Elliott is off the table. Oh, shit. No, no. She's not on the table. Still on the table. My bad. My bad. Yeah.

All these names, we've said so many by now. It's so hard to not talk about. It's really hard to not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like Peter Pace, Paul. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's fine. You got to talk about everything.

Yeah. I think I'm probably going to bring up a name that's been brought up. My next pick. But yeah, just looking like you're like I mean you gotta talk about everything yeah I think I'm probably gonna bring up a name that's been brought up my next pick but yeah just looking like are you wearing armor like what is this like armor from a sport

from the future yeah like showing up in music videos just I don't know I love it and I have you know I have you two

to thank a lot for that for Nikki yeah you two no I mean you two the two of you sitting on the couch just for watching just for like bringing me back into music videos.

I didn't really... I kind of was on a hiatus from watching. It's my favorite art form. I'm just so surprised you guys haven't heard of Dua Lipa then. I had heard of her, but I haven't gotten that. She's the one who's bringing back, I think, for pop music. I will guarantee you tonight when we get back to the house. Oh, next time.

I mean, we'll watch it. Can we get on a group text then? Because I feel like I need to know these reactions yes absolutely you'll know by about 10 o'clock perfect

a lot of crazy faces yeah yeah because I didn't have my you know I was on my computer for years I didn't have a TV and so when I moved

in with Ian there's a big TV and we're just watching music videos I'm Ian Ian it's just weird to hear your own names

yeah that's me I'm Ian you don't really refer to your friends by their name I also hate my name yeah

you do really it's the second half of my name yeah oh well I mean that's it but you've got the whole thing

you could go by Ian or Jill so true I can only go by Ian you could go by nope there's nothing no you could go by Ian nobody wants that

nobody wants that you could go by the first part of your name I could drink out of a toilet too I'm not gonna that. Nobody wants that. You can go by the first part of your name. I could drink out of a toilet, too. I'm not going to do that. If you wanted to, you could go by the first part of your name, Libraire. Oh. If you wanted to. That's true.

But you don't like doing that. You're right. I'm going to say on wax, I don't like that. Many people don't know this. Fuck you. I don't like that. Oh, whatever. It was funny.

I didn't like that. Libraire. It was funny. Nicki Minaj. It's time for my third and fourth Bix. Nicki Minaj would have laughed at it. She wouldn't have. Yeah, I don't know if she would have.

She would not have. She might have. Easy. She might not have. I got a weak psyche. Tell me she would have laughed at it. She would have loved it. Let me put you in the scenes.

I mentioned earlier on this podcast that I wrote for the Grammys, and that's true. I've done it two years in a row. Wait, did you write for the Grammys? That's right. I wrote for the Grammys. You are the fourth member of this group. There's no getting around it. But you didn't write for the Tonys.? That's right, I wrote for the Grammys. You are the fourth member of this group. There's no getting around it. But you did write for the Tonys.

Oh, yes, I did. You did? Oh, yes, I did. Wait, so did you write the Grammys twice in a row? Twice in a row. Oh, my God. You should write on some sort of steady, not just the Grammys and the Tonys,

you should write a steady gig. Like a late night. Try to find me around noon on Wednesday. You should also, I heard Sacha Baron Cohen's got a project. You should. I contributed. You should contribute. Maybe I contributed to that.

I only bring up the Grammys. Not as an ego boost. But just to place myself on a moment in time. Okay. Dress rehearsal at the Grammys. I hear you. 2017. Okay.

Not 2018. Year of Our Lord or no? Year of Our Lord 2017. Year of Mel Brooks 2017. Oh, get out of town. Great year. Staple Center. Not 2018. Year of Our Lord or no? Year of Our Lord, 2017. Year of Mel Brooks, 2017. Oh, get out of there. Great year. Staple Center. Bad year.

Staple Center. Yuck, yuck. Real bad year. About, about... Worst year, probably. I'm going to say 10 feet to my left. A tipped over basketball hoop, right? Stage left?

No, my left. Okay. As the crow flies. A to B. The song that's going to open the Grammys starts coming out of a human being in a way that seems impossible. Like, how does a human being sing this loud? And there she was, Adele, just standing up on a platform.

Oh, man. Hello? God damn. And then you get, like, goosebumps immediately. Yeah, everyone turns. Everyone turns. There's like, that's the most, I know I've talked about this. How many people were in there?

And being serious. There were like 30 people in the room. That's what's crazy about the dress rehearsal is there's nobody in there, but all the actual people have to show up and do it. So Adele, from the UK, 10 feet. There you go. Oh, she's from England. England's Adele.

10 feet to my, it's just like, holy shit. And I'm not somebody who's done deep dives on all the albums. I've heard them all the way through. But just out of respect for that voice and that live performance. She also did a version of Fast Love by George Michael. Sorry if someone's going to pick George Michael. I might still pick him. Because he had passed away that year. Yeah, yeah. Sorry if someone's going to pick George Michael. I might still pick him. Because he had passed away

that year. Yeah. And like changed up like the tempo and the time signatures and all that stuff. That's right, because she had to restart it.

Because she stopped in the middle of the show. That's right. But like in dress rehearsal she stopped it a bunch of times and was like cussing and like, but in like a very charming way.

And I'm like, I fucking love this person. I love her accent. It's so good. She's like that dirty accent we were talking about before. Yeah, yeah. She's a fucking total chav. good. She's like that dirty accent we were talking about before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a fucking total chav.

She's a chav. She's bruv, like. Yeah. Adele, bruv. She's bruv. Some bruv broke up with me. She's so bruv. This song, massive hit.

I have my brand new train of zone, bruv. She says her name. She's like Adele. Adele. My name's Adele. And we're like, a what? And can I get a name

for the order? Adele. Adele. There's no L. Adele. Can I get a name for the order? Adow. Adow. There's no L. Adow. You pulled your bottom lip under when you said Adow. Yeah, I said Adow. Adow.

It's like someone hits a whammy bar on your tongue when you say her name. Adow. Adow. Adow. Adow. Hell yeah. I was just gonna say her shit bangs so hard even on like

shitty speakers you can be listening on like your dad's shitty laptop speakers and that song Hello Will Still Make You Cry on a boat speaker from the 80s shitty boat speaker cracked

someone like you remember that one Boat speaker from the 80s? Yeah, she, boat speaker. Yeah. Like cracked. Yeah. Remember Someone Like You? What? Someone Like You. Remember that one? Oh, God. Someone like you. Someone like you. Her music makes me want to breathe deeply.

I know. You know what I mean? Like you just want to be like. What was the first cut? It was Rolling in the Deep, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was a good one.

Everybody, when they heard that for the first time, you're just like, holy shit. Yeah, what is this? And I remember thinking like, who the fuck is this? When she hits that second note on I Wish Nothing But The Best For You. Yeah. To you. Oh, you're like, oh!

Fuck, that's another one where if you're going through a breakup, a de la la. Oh, man. That was another funny SNL sketch that they did where they, remember, it was like they were all in the office and somebody was playing the song. Oh, yeah. Another person comes in the room and they start crying. It's a hypodermic needle right to the center of your heart. Oh, God.

That song, man. Rumor has it. It'll wake you back up. Did you want to be awake, you know? I don't even know, man. I don't know what I want anymore. I got real. I'm in California dreaming.

Yeah. Shit. See, it's true, too. Yeah, dude, no. Yeah, that's a good pick. And then I'm going to go with my fourth pick. Oh, shit. Yeah. Okay. Fourth pick, yeah. Here we go. With my fourth pick,

we're going to saunter down to the Outback. Okay. What? Yeah. We're going to Glendale, man. Don't worry. We're going to saunter down to the Outback. Okay. What? Yeah. We're going to Glendale, man. Don't worry. We're going to Glendale. We're going to Australia, and we're taking Sia. Oh, shit. There we go.

That is a great pick. I didn't know she was from Australia. She's a pop star in her own right. I knew she wasn't. Well, she started a mystery in my front. No one would blame you for not knowing that. Yeah. I knew she wasn't from America, though.

Yeah. You did. That's good. mystery in my front. No one would blame you for not knowing that. I knew she wasn't from America, though. That's good. Amazing pop architect in addition to being an amazing pop artist herself. Where she has written some of the most for other people, I mean for Rihanna and a bunch of other people who may still be picked. But then on her own, fucking

has got some cuts as well. Like that Titan titanium song. I didn't know Sia wrote. You want to, let me correct myself. she's like, I'm going to look up her songs she's written because it's crazy.

It's crazy. I was thinking of someone completely different. Also my grandma's name. When you said Sia. You're thinking of Charlie Daniels. Yeah, I was thinking of Charlie. No,

I was thinking, and I don't want to say it in case someone picks it, but I had, I obviously know who you're talking about now. Chandelier, Sia. Chandelier. Yeah.

Cheap thrills. Yeah, yeah. For a second, I thought it was you're talking about now. Chandelier, see ya. Chandelier. Yeah. Cheap thrills. Yeah, yeah. For a second I thought it was someone else and that's why I was so taken aback. The person I'm thinking of is definitely not from Australia, so. The greatest. Yeah. Good walking, good taking a walk music. Yeah, sure. Is the good, like,

real good taking a walk. Really good. Well, there's some weird shit to it, like the one, two, three, one, two, three. Well, that's Chandelier's song. If you like really listen to the lyrics, it's fucking. I wanna see. It's gnarly.

Yeah. I mean, it's just about partying all the time and it hits home for me specifically because, well, I worry sometimes that if I,

I worry that I'm like the party guy. Not to get too deep, but I don't want. Well, I do. I worry that where people are like, oh, come over,

Sean will just get, you know, he'll get it loose, he'll get a crack and like if I don't want to drink or something. So a song like that, I just,

I like the lyrics and she fucking wails in that song. When her voice cracks. Which is weird. It wails so much to the point where you're like, why were you writing songs

for anyone else ever? Yeah. It's like, how do you have another talent? Like there's another goodie or another. Yeah. Another dude in this

who might get picked and might get picked by you who like was similar. Someone's singing so hard when their voice cracks. I love that shit. Do you have some of these songs? I've got some of these songs

that you wrote. You do it. I'm like, my phone's being real slow. Pretty Hurts by Beyonce. Oh wow. Radioactive by Rita Ora. Oh, but be careful about naming.

Oh, shit. God, I'm an idiot. I know all of us are lining up to pick Rita Ora. I'm so dumb. Oh, no, no. You're fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but it's so obvious.

Like, yeah. Okay, well, I can't say which ones. But I'm looking to. Honestly, these aren't as impressive as I thought. No. Tim. I mean, come on guys come on anyone that ever wrote a song to me it's impressive what do i do no totally she's written for like

every major artist but i think that i in my mind i had pictured her as writing like you know like the big song from every artist but that's not true i think the one song that i recognize on this list that i'm like oh nice i'm to say this because it doesn't fucking matter. Flashlight by Jessie J, which is the song that they sing in Pitch Perfect. Yeah. The song that Hailee Steinfeld sings at the end of Pitch Perfect. That's a Sia original. Diamonds by Rihanna.

Who saw that coming out of Hailee Steinfeld, by the way? Me. Nobody was going to say that. Did you really? Yeah. Were you going to pick that? No, I love Haley Steinfeld, by the way? Me. Then nobody was going to say that. Did you really? Yeah. Were you going to pick that? No, I love Haley Steinfeld. Me and my friends call her Slayley. Nice.

She rips. Again, I think it started ironic. Were you going to say that? But she fucking slaps. Say what? Oh, you were looking at me like you were going to say Haley Steinfeld. No. Okay.

What? No. Okay. No. No. No. No. No.

I just like Slayley. She's like a triple threat. Seriously. She's good. Okay. No. Well, you know, Noé. Noé. No, Noé. I just like Slayley. She's like a triple threat. Seriously. She's good movies. Hell yeah. You watch True Grit. And when I saw True Grit, I was like, this girl is going to be an amazing actress. Edge of 17 is great.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I did. He, thankfully, Ian gets those screeners. And that was one where I was like, this will be sealed until I open it. Yeah. Because nobody else in that house is going to be like, you know, I'm going to watch.

Yep. What's it called again? No, what's it called? Edge of 17. Edge of 17. I was going to say 17 again. Zac Efron. I once had lunch next to Sia, and I minded my own business.

Short story. Short story, good story. I love that story. Good guy for that. Yeah. She's awesome. Donna Carpool Karaoke. A lot of these people have.

Sure. Oh, Adele? If you haven't seen it, I have. If you haven't seen it, I don't want to pimp the show. But if you haven't seen it, treat yourself. Pimp the fucking show, dude. Treat yourself to it. Also, I should apologize.

Who gives a shit? The Macca one. Sean, time for your, very clearly, I said Macca as in Paul McCartney, not Magga. Sean, time for your fourth pick alright I'm gonna need some eye contact here Jill

now this is we'll see so I'm gonna pick I'm gonna go to I'm gonna go to England I'm gonna pick Elton John bruv

you bruv bruv damn it I'm just going such a different route I don't know why but I thought that he wasn't gonna get

picked but I thought I thought I had it I didn't even think of that damn it I just like didn't think back in time at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every time someone says something,

I'm like, oh. Well, it's because I'm older, and I'm just, I think, but yeah, John, like, pop star. Totally, right? Yeah, 100%. There's no getting around it. So fun.

And just. So beautiful. Cuts. Seen him live. And I'm trying to think of like. Endless cuts, like a boar's head meat counter, baby. Endless quality cuts. And they've got every cut we're done this podcast is finished every cut dude like of course marissa just threw up that whole sandwich she was laughing so hard he's got more jams than a portland oregon brunch spot dog

i'm not gonna say a cut joke because those were the two best so what do you do you know dude he's got he's got more slaps than an entire season of the Real Housewives

of Orange County wow more cuts than Fantastic Sam I was going to say Love and Hip Hop oh Love and Hip Hop is a good one too

there you go what's another what are other terms for good he's got more more knocks got more cuts than than a worker

at an origami factory. Damn, dude. I'm trying. I try hard. He bangs hotter than Zooey Deschanel. It took me a second. He's rubbing his eyebrows. It's a bangs Panama.

For one second, I was like, holy shit, did Ian hook up with Zooey Deschanel? Wait, did she like, have a lot? Did he, did Ian hook up with Zoe Deschanel? Yeah, I was like, wait, does she like travel a lot? Yeah, I was like, whoa. Did he just like slut shame Zoe Deschanel? This took a crazy turn. I didn't even know that she like fucks. What if this is when we found out you were dating Zoe Deschanel? Like this is how we found out.

You'd find out it'd be a parade that would go by all your houses. That's how you would find out. You'd find out by the lights of a Goodyear blimp. A float. I get a lot of local marching bands and then me on a float. She wouldn't even be there. She'd be breaking up with me somewhere else. Ian, I told you, don't throw a parade.

Comedians are valid partners these days. I know. Thank you, Pete Davidson. Thank you, Eric Andre. Thank you, Eric Andre. Oh, Eric Andre. Wait, who's Eric Andre? Oh, sorry. It was Austin, dude., Pete Davidson. Thank you, Eric Andre. Thank you, Eric Andre. Oh, Eric Andre. Wait, who's Eric Andre? Oh, sorry, it was Austin, dude.

What? Yeah. Also, Colin Jost. Seriously? Oh, Colin Jost? Yeah. Man, see? Chris Evans?

We're not just jokes anymore. Chris Evans is with... Oh, Slate. Slate. Yeah, Jenny Slate. Or was. Or wasn't, and then might be again. I don't know.

Well, just... Slate? Slate's got a full plate. More like a full slate. Sure. She's so funny. Yeah, no, I'm just saying, like, the comedians being okay to date comics, you know? Yeah.

We used to be... All I'm just saying is I think she's, like, you know, dating a ton of, like, super handsome dudes. Yeah. Stoked for a minute. Yeah, she's killing it. Yeah. Elton John.

Elton John, though, dude. Yeah. Hell yeah. Man. Someone Saved My Life Tonight is still... My Father's Gun. It's one of my favorite songs I'll ever hear. You know what's super corny, man?

I love Candle in the Wind. Not corny. How in the world? Well, because my mom... This is super weird. Sierra Leone was a British colony until like 1965 or something like that. I'm not 100% sure. So they loved the royal family.

So when Lady Di died, it was like a big deal in my house. I just remember listening to that song and it being really heavy in the house. And like, yeah, just very emotional. Yeah, Tiny Dancer. Come on. There's a sketch that we get. Like me and Louis, who's my writing partner. I met Louis.

You know Louis. Yeah, the British guy. The inventor of Shacklackity. Yeah, the original Shacklackity. That wasn't Louie? Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't me. It's his sound effect for hanging up a phone.

Shacklackity. What? Oh, that's tight. It's a sketch that we came up with that we can't ever put on our show, and we don't work for any other shows, so we don't know where to do it, but it's Elton John workshopping other hits of his for When Princess Di Died. That's so funny.

Because he just turned Candle in the Wind into a song about Princess Di. That's so funny. And we were like, I remember when Di was alive. Oh, man. You shouldn't have told all these people. I know.

You got to sit on that. What are they going to do with it? It's already on wax. It's patent pending, trademarked and everything. Oh, that's really funny. Yeah, man. I might have said it on here before, but I used to- Oh, don't go crashing my car.

Don't go crashing my car. It's dark. I'm sorry, but you know. I used to think that the paparazzi was a specific group of one, like one group of people in England where, because everyone, that was the first time I ever heard the word paparazzi. Oh, yeah. Where everyone's like, you know, the paparazzi chased her down. And I was like, what is that? Is that like a gang in that city?

I didn't realize it was just a term. Like, from what you heard, this is Northside paparazzi, cuz. Yeah. That's exactly what I thought it was because I was 11 or 12 when that happened. I don't know. It was like, what was it, like 96 or something like that? Oh, then I was 14. I remember.

Anyway. I remember what happened. Yeah. Elton John, man. Man, yeah. Cuts on cuts on cuts on cuts. He's so good. He's so good.

Yeah. It's just him and a piano. Ugh. I saw him. And the star sunglasses. He stood up after. This is the one thing where I was like, you know, come on. Every single song he did, he stood up and he did a big, like, figure skating.

I just did the best routine. It was fine. It was fine. I'm not... Get yours. I'm not mad about it. Don't be scared. Don't be scared to hear me pointing at you right now. I'm trying to deflect. I'm like, don't watch it. I want the listeners to know I'm fucking pointing hard.

I wanted more. I wanted all music. I didn't want... There was like four minutes in between each song that's fine you got to reload your body's got you got to get your electrolytes i had to stop crying and then start crying you got to reload the cannons dude he's gonna be firing off that many hits i can't hear him what that's the thing about concerts though is you do need those songs you need the b-sides in the middle to, like, reload. Go get a beer. Like, I don't remember what he played right before Big Pimpin', remember? But when we saw Jay, he played something that was, like, it was, like, a song.

So I was, like, kind of dancing, and I was mostly looking at the lady. Remember the lady sitting down across all the seats in front of us? Yeah. And then you're just, like, you slow down, and then when that song ends in your ear, boom, boom, boom, boom. And you're like, you need to, like, yeah, man, I get it. You need some time in between it's too much dopamine elton john elton john fantastic sir thank you took sue carmel i appreciate it as your uh dictator of pop music yes you're welcome donald duck outfit i'd like to see you

in it jill time for your fourth pick um i'm having a lot of trouble because I'm going to go up to Canada, finally. I know. There's so many, though. But there's so many good ones that I'm like, do I want to waste Canada on, you know what I mean? There really are.

That's how I felt. I was like, it's hard to like... I kind of have a toss-up at the top two. Right, yeah. Thank you. Somebody took him first for some reason.

But I do think this one shines like a star. I'm going to go with Carly Rae Jepsen. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. She is like one of the- Marissa, is that okay? Fuck yeah.

Thank you, Marissa. Marissa's a former prime minister of Canada. Wow. Congratulations. She is one of the most quintessential pop stars that I think for some reason always goes overlooked. By mainstream. By mainstream, yes. Pop, yeah. the most like quintessential pop stars that i think for some reason always goes overlooked well by like mainstream by mainstream yeah but choose for some like like the weird poptimism wave carly ray jefferson seemed to be like one of the standard bearers of it where even pitchfork was like no wait a minute this is like yeah no she makes like genuinely amazing music. Yeah. The last album, like the A and B side of it, so great. But also, I am an early Carly stan.

Like I told you, I love a dance movement. And the Call Me Maybe thing happened when I was in college. And everyone on my campus was trying to make those videos. And it was so dumb. And I loved it. It was so fun. I watched so many dumb people that I knew in Call Me Maybe videos. Like that's awesome. That song

is fucking great. It's amazing. It's perfect. It's a perfect song. It is such a good mood ass song, which I love. And the fuck, I love the video. Those strings things too. In the back. The video, just this young kid with a chest tattoo mowing the lawn. I'm like,

come on. Right. And also lest we forget the original video, which was a viral marketing campaign put forth by, I shouldn't say either of these people, actually. I'm not going to say them, but two teen stars. Okay. And that's how the word got out there because they made this video of them dancing, literally with their photo booth app. You remember photo booth?. You remember photo booth? You guys remember photo booth? And they made this viral video and that's why everyone started making their own

videos. Scooter Braun may have been involved. We can say that without mentioning Kupo. That's a safe one. Kris Jenner is second. The evil mastermind behind pop music. Adult named Scooter may have been involved. No, that's fantastic.

Yeah. She's great. And also like the later albums after Call Me Maybe and stuff, right? Like that most recent one. How long ago was Call Me Maybe? That was 2012, I think.

Man. Was it only that? I would guess 2012. I mean, you know, Obama now is... Yeah, yeah. It feels like a long time. I know.

I'm 50 years old. Yeah, I'm 100, 100 yeah you know what's kind of a Peloray Jackson too is that like as a pop artist and as a female pop artist hit in her like late 20s too yeah it wasn't like one of these like she gives me hope yeah I like that just for career stuff I'm like oh I could like start a career now right now I'm starting one now at this age yeah well there's that's the thing, there's never a limit on it. We're all 24. I'm 13. You're just led to believe there's a lid on it, but there's not. It can happen

at any time. Totally. So, yeah, and I love seeing somebody do it later in life, later in what should be a pop career. When you're not, like, 13 and on Disney Channel. If James Murphy can start an LCD sound system in his 30s, I can take Molly and go see LCD sound systems in my 30s. It's not too late. You guys, should we, should we all become pop stars?

Yes, let's do it. I've been pushing that for years. Yeah, I already got my name. It's Tony Impact. Yeah. Wow. What? What's mine again?

Aloysius de Montepeco. Aloysius de Montepeco and Tony Impact. And Tony Impact. Yeah. You guys hang out together? Yeah, quite a bit. Okay. No, I mean your alter egos.

Those guys. Those do. We can't hang out at the Outback in Glendale because we've been kicked out. We have a punch card for how many times we've been kicked out. Ten times. That's neither here nor there. The next time we get kicked out, we get a lamp. I'll tell you, it's neither at the Outback nor at anywhere else in the Americana.

David, it's time for your fourth and final picks. As it is. Okay. Barbados, Canada, Puerto Rico. I don't know if this is pop story enough. Look at the judge. She's from Ibadan. Where?

Which is a colony and protectorate of Nigeria. Tight. Okay. I'm going the one name. Yeah. Sade. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah.

What are you talking about? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course. Sade. Had I known that she was not born here, I would have probably picked her right away. You didn't think she had a foreign vibe? You thought, okay, now you think she's from America.

Well. Because she's definitely not. She's British. I guess if we're being honest, I would have thought Britain. So maybe second round, I guess. But no, I had no idea that she... I kind of did think she was from here, though. She lives in Gloucester.

She's gone. Also, one of the most... Anyway, she's amazing. That album cover where she's like, her arms are like this across... It's like one of the most striking things I've ever seen. Smooth operator. It's just like such a beautiful image for an album also another not really dancer no not really but that

music is just like also someone who we don't really know anything about she's not public she's like i know my parents have seen her like four times folks, I'm pretty sure they fucked Sade like a lot. Tell you, oh, please, I hope to, I haven't fucked Sade,

I'll be honest, because I don't. Not yet. I haven't. Well, none of us are married, so eventually. That's a big part of it.

That's a big part of it. Have fun down there in hell, my friend. A big reason is we don't know a lot about Sade is because there's

no need to ask. There's no need to ask. There's no need to ask. Nope. Yeah. It's just that music feels so good. And then just like, it's like a lot of sexy saxophones. Oh, dude. Yeah.

No Ordinary Love? Forget about it. Oh, man. It's grown folk shit. Oh, Ordinary Love. That's a good way to say it's grown folk shit. It is grown folk shit. Yeah.

That's so true. Smooth operator. It's like opening a nice bottle of wine cause it's not even at home it's not even sad music it's like it's not like music

celebrating love like it's like I don't know I just yeah shot A man yeah I always thought smooth operator

would be good in a skateboard part cause he's a smooth no need to ask he's a smooth operator close to a smooth operator. Close to smooth. Smooth operator.

Kick flip to an ale. Manual. You're doing it way better than me. No need to ask. I just like, that's my favorite part. And lovers rock. The whole thing is just so great. Sade, and your final pick. For the sake of time, we've only been up here two hours. What are we hurrying up for? And lovers rock. The whole thing is just... Sure. Shot A. And your final pick.

For the sake of time. We've only been up here two hours. What are we hurrying up for? I gotta bring it back to America, but I don't... Has anyone chosen America yet? I was gonna say, I feel like we haven't done that much America. I haven't done mine yet. Jill did. I'm like dying to do another America.

The only reason I didn't is because I thought I was just gonna get fucked this whole rest of this draft. Well, here you go. I think... What if you don't do America as a comment? I gotta just like out of my respect for her, her antics and her catalog, I do have to pick this one. Absolutely. Madonna. Yeah.

Top to bottom. It's great. So many great music videos. Oh, sure. She's the icon. It's just like every stage was so good. What's your favorite Madonna song? We're going to go around if we please.

I was going to say mine anyway. Madonna song, Madonna video, Madonna song video combo. Give me all that you want. All three of those? My favorite Madonna song is most likely... Actually, song video combo is going to go to Papa Don't Preach. Oh.

Like a Prayer, way up there. Yeah, yeah. True Blue, fucking... Respect Yourself You've Got to Make It Respect Your Hey Hey Hey Hey Isla Bonita

Last Night I Dreaded Well now you're just naming every Madonna song that we were gonna know. I really I really like care about Madonna in my heart. I think she's fantastic. But yeah, so I don't know. Favorite.

He's so bonita though. Nobody ever talks about how good that song is. They don't ride for it hard enough. That's my favorite. They don't ride for it hard enough. That's your favorite? Yeah. That's your favorite about Madonna?

That's what I was going to say. Jo, what do you got? Mine is Ray of Light, the extended cut. Yo! That's so fucking good. Rips in the video is great. It goes real hard. It goes real hard. It goes real hard.

I also feel like, you know, as like a person who grew up in the 2000s or like late 90s, I feel like 2000s Madonna often gets overlooked because she has so many fucking bops from the fucking 80s. For sure. But people hate her. Part of it because she did that terrible American Pie cover, but there was a lot of- Also the accent. That's when that came around, right?

Now I ride with the accent. I think it's fucking cool she did a fake accent. It doesn't feel weird anymore. Yeah, what do I care? But that song, Music, from... I think it was like 2002. Oh, Music is so good. She's in the limo in that video.

That's a great fucking video. Early Sacha Baron Cohen. It's that weird beat. Music. Yeah. That was a fun time. video like that's a great fucking video early Sasha Baron Cohen it's that weird beat music yeah that was a fun time and that's very much like you look at that shit and that's very much representative

of that time yes you know what I mean like you watch that and you're like this is 2002 some of that is like hard for me to listen to because that was like when the awkward hit you know like that time that time when you're like going through it and you can't even listen to some of that shit that you used to listen to. Like that is that era for me where I'm just like, sometimes music comes on and I'm like, oh, this song rips.

And sometimes it comes on and I'm like, oh. Yeah. A little bow out for me. A little bow out. A little bow out. I just like feel like weird. If we can name groups. Yeah. I mean like Backstreet Boys for me. Yeah. It's that where I was like, whoa. It's just like tough like weird If we can name groups Yeah I mean like Backstreet Boys for me

It's that where I was like whoa It's just like tough to listen to I just I hear that music and I'm like Oh yours is it dude Put the pizza on my face The whole thing's is it Justify My Love is a fucking Good ass song

Like a prayer Just for the karaoke quality alone. You know, Who's That Girl gets overlooked a lot, too. Who's that girl? Was that on the Desperately Seeking Susan soundtrack? Dude, where'd that come from? I don't know, but I hope it is. I'm a Madonna fan is where it came from.

That's where it came from. I love her. The Immaculate Collection is maybe the best name. Other than, ladies and gentlemen, the very best of George Michael, and I'll say that because I brought him up already. The Immaculate Collection, those are the two best names for greatest hits albums, in my opinion. The Immaculate

Collection. That's fucking dope. George fucking Michael is so dope. George Michael. Georgie Mike's. Yeah, Madonna though. Madonna. Oof, Madonna. Madonna. Madonna. Jill, tell me your final pick. Okay, I want to ask, I have a couple questions first. One, are we counting the South as another country yet?

Have we drawn a line? I kind of think you could get away with that. You want to pick another one from the States, yeah? No, no, no, it's okay. That's funny. But my other question is, what is our feeling on like pop groups? Does that count? I'm with it. I don't know. I'm with it. Yeah, whatever. Does that our feeling on like pop groups? Does that count? I'm with it.

I don't know. I'm with it. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. Does that count as like a pop group? Pretty loose. We just gotta remember that if we do that, then we can't go back and draft pop groups. We can.

All right. That's true. As long as we're having fun. Yeah. That's really the point. We just want to have fun with our friends. If you don't want me to do it, I won't do it. Oh, please.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. All right.

Then I'm going to fuck with fucking ABBA from Sweden. Yeah. Sweden. Right, Sweden?, do it. Alright, then I'm gonna fuck with fucking ABBA. From Sweden. Sweden! Right, Sweden? Yeah, Sweden. They're like, ABBA is so iconic and we've had so many iterations of them to show how iconic they are. We've got fucking Mamma Mia, The Place, The Movies. We've got a group called The A-Teens, which is literally a cover band of ABBA with teenagers and bad beats that are still good. I don't know.

Everything ABBA does is so good. They're perfect. That music is, there's like, it's like, you know how sometimes all I can liken it to is like, you ever see somebody tell a joke, and you're like, that's a perfect joke. It's perfect. There's no fat on it.

That's like how their music is. Yeah, sometimes something is just done. Like it's, you know, it's cooked perfectly. I'm going to say no groups, but somehow ABBA's one person. That's, I agree. It does feel that way.

It feels like that, right? Because none of them broke off. It's a culture. It's a whole fucking movement. They gave way to so many things. Yeah. Nobody broke off.

Like nobody, there wasn't a solo career made out of that, so. Take a Chance is one of my favorite songs of all time. Take a Chance, take a Chance, take a Chance, Take a Chance, Take a Chance.

Weren't we just talking about that on Twitter? Yes, we were. We were talking about it. I fucking love Mamma Mia so much. Mamma Mia is like that movie is another really weird moment in my life when I first started doing sexy things. Sure. And I definitely used to put-

Interesting that Mamma Mia. I used to put on Mamma Mia in high school when me and my first boyfriend would hook up. And so there's some songs on Mama Mia that I can't fucking listen to. You can't see Christine Baranski without getting a little bit. Like Honey Honey, that's the one where I'm like, I can't. I love that movie. You get fingered of Honey Honey once, you know? It's like, can't ever, can never go back.

I feel like it, that never happened to me, but had it, I feel like I would feel the same way. It's pretty sparring, yeah. Yep. I got fingered to Honey Honey once. It'll stick in your mind, you know?

That sort of thing sticks with you. Also, I think in the sequel, I think they are just gonna repeat a lot of those songs. Yeah, we were talking about this. I think they need to move. We were talking about it on Twitter. Yeah.

Because they went through the cream. They're going to do Mamma Mia. Yeah. They're going to do Dancing Queen. Yes. They got to do Super Trooper. They got to do, you know, like I can like, they got to take a chance on me. Yeah.

They have to do these songs. I love a Waterloo. They can redo them. They can just have different takes on them. Waterloo. Yeah. Yeah. Also, the only time I like acapella music is when people are singing ABBA.

Oh, yeah. Great harmonies. It just works so good. Are they family? They harmonize like they're family. Weren't they two different couples or something weird like that? I don't remember.

Because people- They're European. Do you remember the Madonna song, Hung Up, which is an ABBA cover? Mm-hmm. She samples ABBA? I do not. Yes. Yeah. What's the song? Hung Up, which is an ABBA cover. Mm-hmm. That's an ABBA cover? She samples ABBA? I do not. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. What's the song? I'm hung up on. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

That's an ABBA song? Is that? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Is it? Gimme, gimme, gimme. Yeah. Yeah. Also.

That's from, I forget what. Is it Gimme, gimme, gimme? Yeah. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Yeah. I'm hung up. Yeah. I'm hung up on you.

Oh, they look way Swedish. Yeah, they're Swedish as fuck. Yeah, they're Swedish as hell. Yeah. Yeah. I'm hung up. I'm hung up on you. Oh, they look way Swedish. Yeah, they're Swedish as fuck. Yeah, they're Swedish as hell. Yeah. Yeah. Bjorn Borg ass motherfuckers. That'd be so funny. Somebody just walks up to you out of nowhere.

Dude, you look way Swedish. Dog, you gotta go home. I've been there. I can say who I think looks like it's from there, right? At the bar? Yeah. My family lives in Scandinavia. They've got just like a quintessential group look too.

Like they've got a blonde, they've got a brunette, they've got a blonde guy, a brunette guy. Like it's, it works. Oh man, that is a, that's a good ass pic. Couldn't tell you one of their names. Also, I only know one of them off top. Benny Anderson. And then the rest of them have Swedish ass names.

Agnetha, Benny, Bjorn, and Annie Fried. Like Annie-Fried. I think that's why we consider them collectively as ABBA. Ten guesses in, I would have got a Bjorn, I bet. Yeah. Having known nothing, I bet Bjorn would have been in there. Well, it's easy because the ABBA is their name. Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny.

Is that what it is? Agnetha. That would have taken me all night to figure out if you had to just say it. I would have never been. Agnetha. What are they doing up there? It's cold. They're just making beats. Just got to keep the mouth busy.

Generate some heat. Sean, time for your final pick. All right. So we're going to go to the States, and it's between two people. Old or new? Old or new? I say old, but it's up to you. I say new.

We've got two pop stars here. I'm living in the moment. Yeah, live in the moment. One for each of you. I don't know anything before 1990. All right, Justin Timberlake. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That one is more true to you.

Yeah, yeah. That's a Sean. I love Justin Timberlake. I always have. And I said it earlier. What's your favorite era? Future Sykes' Love Sound. It's one of my favorite pop albums of allake. I always have. And I, you know, I said it earlier. What's your favorite era? Future Sykes, Love Sound. It's one of my favorite pop albums of all time.

Like top five. You get in Justified. So if we're really diving in. Choked up. If we're really diving in. Sean's unloosening his tie. He took his jacket off. He's sitting backwards in a chair.

I did sit up a little bit. My favorite Justin Timberlake is inYNC, Justin Timberlake. I love Gone. I love Drive Myself Crazy. I love God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You. I love Tearing Up My Heart. All those old NSYNC songs. What's the one where he says, baby, I don't understand.

What song is that? Why we can't be lovers. Which one is that? Tearing Up My Heart or I Want You Back. It's one of those two. Oh, I Want You Back. I Want You Back is It's one of those two. Oh, I Want You Back is my favorite NSYNC song. It's so hard.

Great beat. But they had so, like, Bye Bye Bye was so good. And I know we're talking about NSYNC, but it was basically him and JC

and basically just Justin. Like, what did their voices... There was one time... What did their voices sound like outside of... On Drive Myself Crazy, if you remember that song, Chris Kirkpatrick sings a verse. He's the opening verse.

Chris Kirkpatrick could sing Motherfucker to my face. I wouldn't know. It's really high. It's really like just a generic, like if you can hit a falsetto kind of note. Justin Timberlake is amazing. Then you get into Justified with like Seniorita. Fuck off.

Rock Your Body. I love those songs. Yeah. Senorita, Rock Your Body, Cry Me A River. I bet I watch that video once a day at work. Ladies. Ladies. Yeah. Ladies.

We leave it with you. Cry Me A River, of course. Oh, Cry Me A River. Some of Timberland's best work too. Yeah. Yeah, they work good. What's that song where Justin Timberlake was talking shit to Prince? Oh, I don't know. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah were good. What's that song where Justin Timberlake was talking shit to Prince?

Oh, I don't know. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, if sexy never left, then why is everybody on my dick? Sex attack? Because Justin Timberlake said he was bringing sexy back. And then Prince did a show where he said sexy never left. Right, I remember that. But he said, Justin Timberlake said he was going in.

If sexy never left. He also said, what did he say? He was like, we missed you on the charts last week. Oh, damn, that's right, you wasn't. Oh, it's... And then, like, because then also Timbaland Who beeps with Prince? I don't know. Why would you do that?

What if... It's wrong with you. Also, Justin went through a weird phase. In the Rock Your Body video, he has a blonde goatee. It's not okay. Which I can never justify. He's had some weird hair shit. He had cornrows once and I don't feel good about it.

Those crispy curls. I mean, I had my hair braided at one point. The ramen hair. The ramen look. Yeah, that ramen look.

It did look like ramen. But like chicken ramen. Yeah. Yeah, I just love Justin Timberlake and then when you get into Man of the Woods, I'm not thrilled about it,

but I do love the song Man of the Woods a lot. Yeah. Also that one. Yeah. Get your filthy hands off me. Those two are really good. And I love that he's bringing up Chris Stapleton.

I doubt you're going to pick Chris Stapleton. I was not. Good call. I love that he's bringing up Chris Stapleton because I love Chris Stapleton. And it's like Justin Timberlake just latched onto him. And he's just bringing Chris Stapleton into the public. Do you know the song Tunnel Vision from the last album? I don't think so. Or Push Her Love

Girl from 2020? Anyway, he's got cuts. Yeah, I'm saying. It's like a Boar's Head meat counter over here. There's got more cuts than Fantastic Four Sam's. He's worked up so hard. He's like, what did you say? Cuts? Boar's Head.

Can I say it again? Can we get Boar's head to sponsor us? We're working on it. Marissa. Marissa, eat some more of those sandwiches. Marissa, set up a meeting between David and the Boar's head CEO. And the Boar's heads. Yeah, the Boar's family. The Boar's heads.

Call the Boar's. The heads of Boar's. Jason and Dorothy, Boar's head. And Dorothy is who you really got to crack. Yeah, she's the tough one. Well, ever since you fired Steven, dude. Well. Steven had a big stake in the company.

I would have a stake in the company. That was the problem. I want to get a stake in that Cajun turkey. If you got a prosciutto in the company. Seriously, they're Cajun. Borshead is great. No, seriously, they have great meat. They really do.

It's quality meat. Always consistent. Good meat. It's the quality meat. Yeah. New Jersey Michaels. Justin Timberlake, great final pick. It's quality meat. Always consistent. Good meat. It's the quality meat. Yeah. New Jersey Michaels. Justin Timberlake, great final pick. Thank you, sir.

Time for my final pick. Put a button on it, Playboy. I was thinking about taking Prince. We just brought him up. Damn. And then I realized, not so much a pop star. Okay. Really?

I don't think so. I would qualify it. I think it's maybe a little limiting. I don't know. Maybe not. What would you call him if not a pop star, though? Like his own thing? I don't know.

He's gonna rock, yeah. Rock? He's kind of right. He's a genre bender. He's a genre bender. Maybe pop star is the right, most correct thing. Is he almost a little too sexy to be a pop star? Is there such a thing?

That's impossible. Whoa, whoa. But his music is explicit sometimes. I got in trouble because as a kid, I learned the words to get off. It was like an issue. Yeah? I learned a lot of that kind of shit from the Spice Girls. Really?

Yeah, they say a lot of shit. You don't think they do. I looked back at a lot of the lyrics that I would sing in the car with my mom that she would look at me and I would be like, what? Two become one. Two become one is about fucking. Wait, what is?

Two become one. Two become one. Just a real nice way of saying it. Zigga zigga is like skeet skeet skeet in England. No, it's not, it's not, it's not. David was gonna leave. I was so excited. I was gonna tell everybody.

So with my final pick instead, I'm taking, they call him a rock star. Okay. But I think of him more of a pop star. I'm taking Elvis Presley. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a pop star. Fucking pop music. He was like the original pop.

Yeah. Yeah. He was in movies. Elvis. He was in movies. He was a fucking pop star before I think people were throwing

pop star around he was fucking with karate real early another dude yeah fucking with karate real early the most basic

tenet of pop stardom yeah you gotta fuck with karate yeah he was fucking with karate pretty early that guy fucked with karate

fast that's pretty cool yeah like you're just fucking with like nobody knows about karate and he's just pretty cool yeah like you're just fucking with like nobody knows about karate and he's just like wild karate

I agree you're like whoa dude who's this guy Suspicious Minds is a pop song can't help falling in love pop song

Jailhouse Rock boom boom yeah I mean I know rock is right in there but they're fucking pop songs to me well yeah

but I mean it's popular music that's what it was that's where it stems from but I get where you don't want to dip into like fucking, you know, Metallica. They're not pop, you know.

So like you want to. Yeah. Right. I would call them a pop song. Also, another guy, real sexy. Real sexy. Couldn't show him from the waist down in the beginning, right? Sexy, dude.

Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, because everybody was a fucking coward. You look back and you're like, got it. I mean, also, the thing people don't talk about is that he had a huge donger. Did he? Yeah, it was flopping around. That's why they couldn't show it on TV. Get off. Of course not. I don't fucking know. I don't talk about is that he had a huge donger. Did he? Yeah, it was flopping around. That's why they couldn't show it on TV.

Get off. Of course not. I don't fucking know. I don't know about Elvis' penis. David, I trust my friends. The momentum of his dick is what knocked his leg out. Yeah, that's how the whole thing started.

That's a certain explanation. Did you see Forrest Gump when he first started walking on the braces? That's what helped him to Elvis. That's how he did that move. But like a counterweight. Now that the draft is done,

I can't believe we did a draft, a pop draft for that thing, Beyonce or Michael Jackson. I was going to say, no one said Beyonce. That's so good. People are going to be so mad at us. And Michael Jackson was my older young man.

I was like, older new. I also, I'm pretty aggrieved for myself that nobody said Ariana. Oh, yeah. That's the other one. But I was like, I really want to say another American one. It was really a toss up between her and Taylor.

I'm a big Selena Gomez fan. I thought you were going to take Selena for sure. Well, I had between her and Taylor. I'm a big Selena Gomez fan, but I had a... I thought you were gonna take Selena for sure. Well, I had a thing coming together that I didn't realize until the end, which, well, let's recap

and then I'll talk about it. Okay, yeah. So, David, you started off, you went Rihanna, Drake, Ricky Martin, Sade, Madonna.

That's all over the place. That last one... That's a fun dinner. ...does not fit in. Madonna. Story of my life. But it's like you have depth. Drake and Sade would probably talk a little bit.

I think they would talk before her and Drake. Sade's talking shit about Madonna. That's a weird feeling I have. Sade and Rihanna would talk shit to her face. Oh, God, yeah. Could you imagine you walk in a room, Sade and Rihanna. Oh, you know they were talking about you? What a devastating feeling.

You walk out. You turn right back around. I have a new greatest fear. Yeah, dude. Oh, man. What a devastating feeling. You walk out. You turn right back around. I have a new greatest fear. Yeah. Dude. Oh, that would be. You walk in and they're both quiet. If they looked at you and did that.

Oh, God. You walk in with a tray of drinks. Hey. You guys want some martinis? Rihanna looks at Sade. So how about them Dodgers, huh? Hey, Madonna. Did you guys try those mini hot dogs?

No, wait. What were you guys talking about? Jill, you went second. You took Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa, Camila Cabello, Carly Rae Jepsen, and ABBA. Hell yeah. Thoroughly modeled the list. My last one doesn't fit in. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Sean, you took The Weeknd, Fred Mercury, Nicki Minaj, Elton John, and Justin Timberlake. Sure. Damn. When I hear... Man, you... Depth. I went Lorde, Robin, Adele, Sia, Elvis. Okay.

Wow. There you go. The one-namers. You got like some adult contemporary shit going on. Some adult shit. Yeah. I should have taken Beyonce because then it would have been all one name, all women. We all avoided Beyonce and then no one ended up picking Beyonce.

I know. Yeah. It's a good thing that's not the story of her life. She almost falls into those Prince lines where it's like, are you becoming more than a pop star right now? But that's what I'm saying. It's like Rihanna I still want to hang out with. Beyonce is like a deity.

It's like, you know what I mean? We don't have to talk about Beyonce to know that she is the best. Oh, the other person I saw glow was Jennifer Lopez. But Beyonce, again, at the Grammys, which I wrote on. Dude, the shit that I have on my old man list. Pregnant Beyonce is glowing. You wrote them. Let me just tell you guys what my old ass stupid list was.

So I had Enrique Iglesias. Dave Matthews was on there. I had Enrique Iglesias too. Dave Matthews would not count. Dog, you had fucking Dave Matthews. Why? Because he was born in South Africa? Because he was born in South Africa.

I just needed some emergency picks. No pick would have gotten blocked harder than a Dave Matthews pick. I would have been like, ha. I would have goaltended that shit. I needed some emergencies. Bj No pick would have gotten blocked harder than a Dave Matthews pick. I would have been like, ha. I would have goaltended that shit. I needed some emergencies. Bjork was on there. Yep. Kylie Minogue.

Oh, fuck yeah. That would have been a good one. I'm Minogue. That would have been a good one. That was about it that I had. I've got so many. But there's a lot that I felt like you guys wouldn't respond to. What, like Natalie Imbruglia?

I can see this is torn. I'm torn. Tovelo. You guys know Tovelo? I love Tovelo. Sweden, right? Tovelo's got some fuck bangers. Yeah, dude. I'm torn. Tovelo, like you guys know Tovelo. I love Tovelo. Tovelo's got some fuck bangers, yeah. Yeah, dude, Tovelo. Tovelo fucks. Tovelo fucks.

Tovelo fucks. Nobody fucks. And I'm not saying she fucks more than anyone else, but when you look at someone, you're like, that person fucks. Yeah. Tovelo. She fucks.

You look at Tovelo. There was a billboard. I was dating, anyway, on a route to work. Sure. And there was a Tove Lo billboard. And every time I would almost forget to go again because I'm like, yo. She's hot. She's so cool.

She's hot. Yeah. She's scary hot. Yeah. She makes me feel like a 12-year-old boy in middle school when the hot girl talks to you and you're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, totally. And you're like, why did I say that?

Yeah. If Tove Lo came up to me at a party and be like, my penis and I are getting out of here. I'm sorry. We're going to have to take that. Come on, Dick.

We're unqualified to be in this conversation. Yeah, Tove Lo. Who else? I've got, let's see, Shakira. Oh, yeah, totally. From Columbia.

I was thinking they come from Columbia. Yeah. Got the Veronica's in Australia. I don't know if anyone cares about the Veronica's. This was my't know if anyone cares about the Veronica's this was my like

if everything gets picked that's what my Dave Matthews was Cascada from Germany, you guys remember Cascada? or Cascada, however you say it did you remember she covered Rascal Flatts What Hurts the Most in that techno song yes I do evacuate the dance floor

that sounds great, though. She had some early 2000s bangers. Sure. I didn't realize it was that old. Wow. And fucking Sinead O'Connor. Oh, yeah. Possibly.

I heard those early. She was also going to be on my names list. Who looks like my name? Oh, she does. Okay, Sinead. And England has so many that we could have. Yeah, England was so deep. We also barely touched on the US. We really did. I just want to say again, Ariana Grande. I like that. So have. Yeah, England was so deep. We also barely touched on the US.

We really did. I just want to say again, Ariana Grande. I like that. So great. Selena Gomez, three certifiable dope songs off that last album. Oh, dude. She's good. Demi Lovato, that's who I was talking about when I said the South.

Does that count? Oh, is Demi from the South? She's from Texas, Amy. I didn't know that. Texas isn't the South. It's literally the South, but I don't know. It's literally the South. Oh, they'll say they're not the South.

That's what I mean. If you talk to Texans, they're like Texas is like the literal part. It's literally the South. If I was feeling a certain kind of way, I could have taken Feist. I was going to say, when I was torn between Carly Ray, the other one was Justin Bieber. I was going to take Bieber for Canada too, but then I was like to say when I was torn between Carly Rae, the other one was Justin Bieber.

I was going to take Bieber for Canada too, but then I was like, eh. Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith, they were both on my list. Yeah. I had M.I.A. and Seal. Oh my God, M.I.A. Oh yeah, M.I.A. I love M.I.A.

Sri Lanka. Yeah. That song Pray by Sam Smith. Pray. That was your best one. That was your best one. That was your best one yet. You need to hear an on point Michael McDonald.

Stuff the dismount. I like it. I won't. Why am I pushing it? Excellent picks, everybody. Yeah. Jill, thank you for joining us so much. Thank you for having me.

Make sure you send us yours on Twitter, at All Fantasy Pod. Hell yeah, hell yeah. Send us emails, allfantasypodcast at gmail.com hit us up on

Instagram Twitter we love all of that shit shout out to everyone on there shout out to all the fans dude some of those emails fucking make me cry man

there was a there was a gnarly I'm not going to dive into it because it was a pretty personal situation but you know who you are and I sat there and cried for like 10 minutes

you were in bed you were 10 feet away I was in bed? yeah it was fucking I'm going to be up next time I'll cry with you get up Darren cried for like 10 minutes. You were in bed. You were 10 feet away. I was in bed? Yeah. It was fucking fucked, dude. Come with me up next time. I'll cry with you.

Steve, get up. I will. Get up. We'll get Zach up, all three of us. Zach doesn't cry. Zach doesn't ever cry. He just screams louder. Yeah, yeah. He bench presses, sadly.

Shout out to Super Producer Marissa. Shout out to everyone on the subreddit. Scream, scream, scream, scream. Shout out to Frankie Ocean, who would have been a good pick, too.dit. Scream, scream, scream, scream. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Who would have been a good pick, too. That's a good pick. Yeah, real good. Frankie Ocean would have been a good pick. I'm biking.

And more important than all of that, for God's sake, for God's sake, if you can help it, if you can bring yourself to do it, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shacklackity! That was a HeadGum Podcast.