All Fantasy Everything - It's a Mailbag episode! (w/ Sean Jordan & David Gborie)

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

We decided to deviate from the draft this week and do a public mailbag episode. These are lots of fun and we love answering your questions! Keep in mind that if you sign up for the AFE Patreon you will get one of these EVERY month! Along with watch a longs, topic choice votes, and something new that we're cooking up right now :) Hope you enjoy! Support the show!Sponsors:Hims: Get your first month free by going to forhims.com/allfantasy.Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Merch:T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is doing a mailbag episode right now, which we've done one other time. Although it's something we do regularly on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon. It's something we do once a month, and we wanted to give our non-Patreon listeners a sample of uh well we just wanted to do a mailbag for you but also give you a sample of what you could expect to find on the afv patreon this one's for the freaks and the geeks this one's for the freaks and the geeks if you can't if your candles are teak uh if your mills are meek the lawnmowers and the snowblowers you know what i like A lot of people don't think this way. I like a freak in the streets, a geek in the sheets.

Yeah, geek in the sheets, dude. We're laying in bed. Yeah. Explaining like what's going on in Venezuela to me. Yeah. Oh, I meant geek in the sheets also sounds like nocturnal emissions. That's a Korn album, right? Feeling like a geek on a sheet.

We rarely ever really mention the Patreon at the end of the episodes. We never want to hassle anybody to join it or anything like that, but I think it's nice to remind everyone now and then. All Fantasy Everything, we have a Patreon. On there, you get access to two bonus episodes every month.

One is a watch-along where we'll watch something and then do commentary. The other is a mailbag where you send us questions, we answer them. On top of that, you get a membership to our Slack channel, which we frequent and is full of a bunch of All Fantasy Everything fans. Also, Sean will kiss you directly on the mouth. Hard. In public. All you have to do is show. What? Of course I would. Also, Sean will kiss you directly on the mouth. Hard. In public.

All you have to do is show. What? Of course I would. I know. That's what I'm saying. That's a perk of the Patreon. I'm just saying. You just have to walk up to him and say, Wendigo.

Yeah. He's going to lean in and hard kiss you. Hard. Horde. You have to name a casino that I've never heard of. Not even like partially open mouth. It hurts. Like tight- lipped mush. As little skin

between his teeth and your face. Like a tight Oh man. Dawson's Creek serious relationship kiss. Like the skin pulled over Clint Eastwood's forehead. Like that tight. Like that liver spotted Gran Torino

eight racist skin lip. Oh. On top of all that, the hard kissing and whatnot, also, we're going to be putting out a music playlist at the beginning of every month now. I love that idea. Curated by the three of us so we can kind of put you on to what we're listening.

I love it. You're going to think a lot different about me. Yeah. You might think differently about me too. A lot of my corn. A lot of geek on the sheet. I listened to so many different versions of She Thinks I Still Care. I think it's Charlie Rich

who sang it originally. She thinks I still care. That's exactly what I would think you would listen to. But I listened to like James Taylor did a version of it,

Teddy Thompson, like so many. God. The cross is so tight. But yeah, I listened to a lot of versions of it. We should do... We're at 800 members now. If we ever get to 1,000,

we will do a calendar of Sean Jordan doing a tight cross in 12 different locations. If we get to 1,000 members, if we get to 1,000 members, I will... What will I do to Shane? I will walk up to Shane and I won't tell him why.

I will pour a soda on Shane. Oh, my God. Dude, I think this is going to go so left in how you think it is. This is going on the main. He'll hear this. Yeah. I don't care.

He's still not going to... I guess he'll know why, but... He might call upon his training, dude. What? Then you have to call upon your training? No, I wouldn't do that. But I will't care. He's still not going to. I guess he'll know why. He might call upon his training, dude. What? Then you have to call upon your training? No, I wouldn't do that. But I will walk up. If we hit 1,000 members, I will walk up to Shane.

I will dump a full soda on his head. Will you crip walk up to him? I'll try. All right, great. I'm not a good crip walker. If we hit 1,000, I will buy you the soda. Nice. If we hit 1,000 audience, bro, I'll let you touch my butt bros of every gender

no i'd rather touch your butt yeah but the butt will be touched uh somebody's gonna touch some ass if we get a thousand enough of this uh public broadcasting sort of drive energy that we're putting to the top of this qu Squid pro quo. Sexual Patreon. Squid pro grope. Oh, dude. Sexual Patreon. I dated that girl. Sexual Patreon. I dated sexual Patreon for like two years. This broad was a sexual Patreon.

She didn't have very many clothes on. For those keeping track, my name on Twitter at the moment of the recording is still JDateReddick. I don't know if it will be one of those drops, but... I didn't check. He really changed it to JDateReddick. That's awesome.

Okay, so here it is. We're just gonna start asking some questions. We will answer them and at the end, one of us dies. I got it pulled up. Can we start? Yeah, pull up, dude. Pull up, dude. Pull up, dude. Pull up, dude. Nolly cab. Pull up, dude. Pull up, dude. Sean.

Pull up, dude. I'm sick of this shit. Pull up, dude. Pull up. Nolly cab. Okay. It used to be nolly full cab. Mm-hmm.

If you could get on any game show, what would you pick? Jeopardy. Why'd you say it so quick? To get in before you, man. That's why I'd be good at Jeopardy. He's not doing that great. I think I would. Is he not? No, I've seen that he's been. I've been seeing articles before you, man. He's not doing that great. I think I would. No, I've seen that he's been,

I've been seeing articles. Yeah, he's in, he's any, there was a little interview where he kind of said that he's, ah, it sucks. Like,

celebrity, you know, people die, celebrities die. When, if, God, I hope it's far,

far away, but when, that'll, that'll mess with me if Trebek goes. Oh, he will. When Mel Brooks goes, that's going to mess with me. It's weird. One of those where you're like, I don't know the person,

but I'm heavily invested in I don't know, Alex Trebek has just been around, I remember, versions of my life, like all of my life I can put Jeopardy in there. Mustache, no mustache. Canadian sex symbol, that man, by the way. For sure. Pat Sajak is really going sex symbol, that man, by the way. For sure.

Pat Sajak is really going to fuck me up. Yeah, dude. Google Young Trebek. I'm going to do it. It's nice. He's nice with it. But yeah, Jeopardy is mine too. Yeah, I was nice with it.

All right, I'll pick a different one. Not Jeopardy. Other than Jeopardy? Yeah, I'll pick. Game shows, huh? Family Feud, I always thought would be a blast. I don't know if I'd have fun. I think that show is so funny.

I don't know if I'd have fun on it. said you pine hey what was it it was like uh things that work things that follow pork what was it it was something about pork he's he gonna say cue pine steve harvey milks that cow for like three minutes man it's amazing dude uh he's. He was like a porn star in the 70s. I just got to back in the 70s. If you dig into him a little bit, he was like an old Canadian sex... Who are you showing that to? The old...

One time, Steve Harvey... I forget whatever, but he was talking to someone and he's like, fuck 12. He goes, I don't always know What's on the board But I always know what's not on the board

He looked at I forget what they said but he's like That is not on the board That's so funny I would want to be on Wheel of Fortune I really like it I always wanted to spin the wheel I want to see on uh uh wheel of fortune i really like it used to watch i always wanted to spin

the wheel yeah i want to see how heavy it is oh yeah right same thing i want to fucking and it just looks like it's fun i just like that price is right shoots in the same building as us so like those games are all just like downstairs you can go see that is that is hilarious to think about. The wheel is behind plexiglass. Can I break the plexiglass? Yeah, yeah. Tight. For sure. Carmel sent me.

For sure. I used to watch with my great grandma, we used to watch Scrabble when it was a game show. That was a game show. Yeah, it was a pretty fun one. Press your luck. What about a fun one? I'm going to jump in the old time machine here

and say I would have loved to have gone on Legends of the Hidden Temple. Oh. Back on Nickelodeon, man. I thought you were going to say the match game, because you'd be so charming on that game. What was the match game again? I'm just thinking one of those 70s ass... I forget

the match, where they would say Whoopi a Bunch. I want to be on Guts. Dude, Guts. Grab yourself a piece of the Radical Rock. Climb the Agro Crack. Are we going to go back over here? Are we going to get a leaderboard?

Are we going to get a leaderboard in the red and the blue? And the red's got 20? Are we going to get a leaderboard in Moe? Dude, some of the- He always threw it to Moe. Yeah. Where's Moe at? I don't know.

Where is Moe at? She's probably doing all right. She's Australian, right? Did she go back to England? I think it was short and straight hair. All right. Never mind. Yeah, I think you're right.

I'm thinking of a different model. I don't know if it's Australian. Do I just think you're right. I'm thinking of a different model. I don't know if it's Australian. Do I just Google Mo Guts? I'm thinking of Muhammad Ali, bro. I bet you a lot of stuff's going to come up if you Google Mo Guts. You're going to find a new rapper. I feel like you've searched for Mo Guts before.

Not on this site. Not on Google. No, she comes right up. Mo Guts. Moira Quirk. Wow, Moira. Is she Australian? Her name's Moira?

A lot of the stuff I did on that Game On show that's going to be coming out was kind of like Legends of the Hidden Temple-esque. Yeah, it was. It was so fun. I was there. I almost died during the first one. It was awesome. Did you win a Super Nintendo or a 12-speed?

No. But I was given a Lime Scooter. CBS was awesome. Did you win a Super Nintendo or a 12 speed? No. But I was given a Lime Scooter. Oh, that's pretty good. There's a Lime Scooter in the garage. Have I talked about this on the podcast yet? I don't know. I don't think you have told them about that. Okay, so the first day we show up.

It's real weird. The first day we show up for shooting on Game On, I'm in my dressing room, and there's a Lime Scooter in there. And I'm like, like oh somebody's charging their lime scooter that's fine like whatever i'll just sit on the couch and go over the script and then the executive producer of the show comes in they're like how do you like your scooter and i'm like oh haha that was just for me to use on the lot they're like no it's yours and i'm like

no it's not because you can't own a lime scooter and they were like no i'm pretty sure you can this one's for you and i'm like i mean we we grabbed it and said it was yours i'm like no it's not. Because you can't own a Lime scooter. And they were like, no, I'm pretty sure you can. This one's for you. And I'm like. I mean, we grabbed it and said it was yours. And I'm like, no, it's not mine. And they were like, it is. And I'm like, fine, whatever. We shoot for like a month or whatever.

We leave. Everyone hugs. Blah, blah, blah. The show's over. And then I get a text from one of the other producers saying, hey, you left your scooter. And I'm like, no, I didn't, because I don't have a scooter. Therefore, I could not leave my scooter. And they're like, no, no, no.

Do you want us to deliver it to your house? And I was like, all right. So now there's just a Lime scooter in the house. I don't understand. So I came home. Is it set to free? I don't know. I've never even tried to use it.

We got to take this into the streets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I came home and it was on the porch and I thought that some person just was pulling our chain a little bit and put a fucking lime scooter on the porch. So I moved it

out to the tree and then unbeknownst to me Ian saw it at the tree and then put it in Zach's hold room and then I came in and I was like kind of scared. It was like an ominous place for it came in and I was like, kind of scared. It was like an ominous place for it to be. I was like, it's like somebody was trying to prove a point to me. Like when

somebody gets rid of a scary doll and then they wake up and it's next to them. Whoa. The cat came back the very next day. The cat came back. The naughty was a goner. Yeah, Legend of the Hidden Temple would have been mine. All right.

Well, Jeopardy, obviously, if you're taking it. God, I'd love to go on Jeopardy. I'd do so bad, but I'd love it. I wish we were big enough to where we could just do, we could all go on Jeopardy. Celebrity Jeopardy? It'd be so fun. Oh, my God.

It could be uncelebrated Jeopardy. I'm not. That's smoke, you fool. Greg McCochran. Whoa! McCochran? McCrohan. Greg. Can you read? M-Crohan i don't know bruv who are some of you who are some of your biggest comedy influences oh dial on dial on dial on dial on and dial on man i didn't fuck with stand-up comedy growing up i

always so not really anybody eddie is there for me it was a huge one-up comedy growing up. Not really anybody. Eddie Izzard for me. It was a huge one when I was growing up. I loved George Carlin. I read all his books. I read all his books before I saw stand-up. I remember Gallagher. I loved Gallagher. And it shows in your comedy.

Huh? It shows in your comedy. Because you smash. Is that what it said? I, uh... Man, when I was a kid like i thought that like i was never a kid actually so it's weird yeah you were never a boy i was born of man colors were man-sized uh yeah man i like all the regular shit like i thought that like eddie murphy and will smith and stuff i just I don't know it wasn't like it wasn't consciously

I never was looking at humor like that like I wasn't either I didn't have that story of like oh I want to be a comedian yeah exactly I never thought I wanted to be I never did too I didn't even think it was weird but it never occurred to me that it was something you could be I'm like you can't be a comedian how do you become a comedian what are you talking about those things where people ask that question like how do you how do you do it and you're like you just kind of do yeah and there's no real set linear way to do it but it didn't make sense i was like where do you i didn't open mics i didn't really know about so i was like where do you show up just at the club with still doesn't resume or do you tell them a joke like what do you what yeah

still doesn't make sense honestly like whenever i go to an open mic or something, I'm like, this is crazy. I loved, as a kid, I loved Get Smart was one of my favorite shows. That was a big comedic influence, I think. And just Mel Brooks in general. I used to watch heavy Nick at night, like Donna Reed, Patty Duke show. I loved it. I liked the stuff that was on before you went to school. Oh, yeah. Like Rugrats and Chip?

No, it would be like those 80s shows on fucking whatever. It'd be like Family Ties I watched. They're doing like Construction Three Houses. Okay. It's visible. It's on my face that I'm wondering what that sound is. It's really freaking me out. All right.

Yeah, those were, I mean, Eddie Izzard was massive for me. Just massive. Well, massive, bro. Well, massive, bro. He's just like a very smart. I'm not calling myself smart, but he was like silly about smart things in a way that I was like, oh, okay. I can like take the stuff that would make me good at Jeopardy and kind of use it.

You know who I got one? Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn in high school. Those movies. Because it was the first time time everybody else was so cool. Will Smith was hella cool. All these people were cool. And then Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn

were not cool, but they made it work. Will Ferrell didn't dress cool. He was just a big, dumb, funny guy. He was an old guy who was old and funny. And you're like,

cool, so it can happen. You don't have to try to be young. When Vince Vaughn said in that fucking movie, when Vince Vaughn said in old school, I built Speaker City from the ground up. I could barely read. I don't think I've...

You've said that probably five times on this podcast. I love it. I don't think I ever related to a character more where I was just like... Mitch, I'm worth $3 million that the government knows about. That's hilarious too, but just like this guy totally gets what I'm doing. Yeah. I built Speaker City from the ground up and I could barely read. knows about. That's hilarious too, but just like, this guy totally gets what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah.

Like, yeah, like that was like. I built Speaker City from the ground up and I could barely read. It's just like, oh, that guy was, he's the best.

Fucking best. I'm talking ass, like crazy boy band ass. Yeah, I got a sand guy. We could get it a price. Yeah, that, yeah. Old school maybe. So that,

that movie Old School really got me. God, this isn't a question but did you love old school yes i did nobody nobody asked that uh kevin do what up kevin kevin do are you guys doing a live portland plus show again this year yeah live portland recording uh plus show this year we'll'll do All Famopalooza again. You thought we weren't going to be back?

You thought that we was finished? Hold on, wait a minute! I was trying to do Meek Mill. Hold on, wait a minute. We'll probably rent a car. In Portland? Should we rent a car? I mean, they're going to think that we should rent a car.

We should steal a car. When I got that Aston Martin, y'all thought it was rented? we should rent no no no we should we should steal a car when i got that ass and money y'all thought it was rented we should rent an acid martin when we got that toyota to sell we should get a limo sometime i think it's not that expensive it'd be fun we could do a limo to the show and then lance would be like all right park the limo sideways on the burnside bridge and stand out and stand out there for minutes and take photos. It's funny because he's such a... Reserved is not the right word because he's certainly not a reserved person, but he's a...

He's chill. But he's not emotionally reserved. He'll talk about anything. She's so chill. I think he's just soft-spoken. He's just like, hey, get in the middle of the street and stop traffic. Really? Get out there. I'll tell you, it was cool because that was one of those photos where I was like, oh, I look dope. I'm in the middle of the street and stop traffic. And we're like, really? Like, get out there. And I'll tell you, it was cool because that was one of those photos

where I was like, oh, I look dope. I'm in the middle of the street during the day. Yeah, that shit was great. He knows what he's doing. We are in where

the ball is rolling right now. No announcements to be made yet, but we will absolutely be back to Portland and we're going to try to hit the road a little bit too.

I'm probably going to try to wear a sweatsuit to this Portland show. I could foresee that happening for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I could foresee that. I have a mint green sweatsuit now,

and it's no turning back. What did you just say? What do you think I said? Mick green, I thought. I said mint green. No, you're short for Mick green. Yeah. Whoa.

Hey, okay. I swear to God, I thought you said I have a Mick green sweatshirt. That would be a crazy time for me to just start being like that. I'm into it, dude. Alright, Tom Squires. What up, Squires? For Ian and David. That's us.

Well, fine. Because your moms listen to the podcast, have they ever asked you about anything you've talked about? Sub-question, any topics specifically you remember? Nah, she knows what it is. Not really. She comments on the draft. She's into it. She comments on the Patreon. Yeah, she comments on the Patreon. She'll say stuff is funnier, that she didn't it is. Not really. She comments on the draft. She's into it. She comments on the Patreon.

Yeah, she comments on the Patreon. She'll say stuff is funnier that she didn't like stuff. She'll tell me if she doesn't like a guest straight up, which is pretty funny. Yeah, that's happened a couple times for my mom.

She's real direct and honest. I will never say who those guests were. I will after we're done recording. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about it in the room, but you can never know. Blame Flores, I want to say. I think...ame Flores, I want to say.

Flame Doris. I also feel like my mom knows that as far as my lifetime of behavior, this is about as good as it's been. My mom doesn't listen, but if she did, it would be that same kind of vibe.

This is great. Yeah, we talk about drugs and shit sometimes. They also know that we're compressing the accordion on a lifetime of partying, so it seems more severe than it is. So I think that's all she's worried about. This next question is awesome. Mia Byerly. Oh, what's up?

What's up, dog? How many ducks have you seen at once? Whoa. Probably 20, 25. Gotta be more. Gotta be more than that. I bet it's about 30 for me. Geese or ducks? 30? And I'll tell you this. I'll tell you where. It's the rhododendron garden by Reed College. There are

a grip of ducks all the time. You can go feed the ducks and I bet it's like 30. Tell you this, there were about 25,000 of them in the Rose Bowl when we took the lumber to the Wisconsin Badgers. Come see Sean and I at Comedy on State

Valentine's Day weekend. Throwing up the big O's. For God's sake. I live in the big O. The big side of town. Actually, in Austin, it was probably way more than that

because I was all ducks. I love that. I saw about 25,000 of them. I don't know. I bet it ducks. I love that. I saw about 25,000 of them. I don't know. I bet it's around 50 or 60. I mean, ducks? That's a lot of ducks, man. That is a lot of ducks.

Yeah, I think 25, 30. Like, you know, I've seen them fly in and then like in a pond and shit. I'd say 25, probably. What a fun... 60 ducks would be a lot of ducks. What a fun question. Yeah. What a...

That was tight. It was cool, man. It brings us the art and all that shit. Yeah. Noah Nelson. Favorite memory of all three of you together? Ooh.

Oh, man. Tour was pretty great. Yeah, but narrow it down, though. Outside of the podcast, I don't really like either of you guys that much. Here's mine. Here's mine. If I can. Is that all right?

Please. When the three of us and Adam were at High Plains, and the podcast wasn't happening yet or anything, it was the first time that I really met you, like for real, that we actually chilled. Oh, it was a few years ago. Yeah, it was like five years ago or something. But we just sat on those couches downstairs of uh three kings yeah i think and yeah that was where i was just like holy shit i could tell immediately that you were exactly what i want

and a friend and ian i could tell immediately when i met him but that's not what this is about so the the time that i love with the three of us was that time where i was like this is fucking awesome we're just the three I don't remember that so I'm going to say South by Southwest South by was fun I don't know I don't remember that downstairs on the couch thing either really? no you weren't

also we've been on a lot of couches just drinking beers I remember being on a couch with you at Bridgetown yeah I'm going to say South by it was just because it was like I remember being on a couch with you at Bridgetown. I'm going to say South by. It was just because it was like we had this show,

and we didn't even really know that there was a following or anything at that point. I was so nervous. Yeah, I kind of felt like we were going to die. Because I was like, no one's going to fucking come. I really thought that. I remember we went to lunch at that Irish bar before, and we started drinking, I think because we were all nervous yeah i didn't because i was oh you did i did we did you sure did and then when we walked up to the north door and there

was a line and they started recognizing us it was like god that's not just sound self-indulgent i hope it doesn't come off that way i don't think it does it's just so rad it was crazy and then we were like and then upstairs before the show, it's just like, there was booze in the green room, but we couldn't get in there or something. So it was like, I'll just go down and get a beer. And then we drafted drinks.

But then we went downstairs and got a beer, and then all these people were recognizing. It was just the first time. That was so rad. I had never had shows where I couldn't be in the audience before. Yeah. Everybody knew who I was. Because for all of us, touring, doing stand-up is fun,

but then there'll be like 10 people who know who you are in the crowd or something like that, like in a club. But then to be somewhere where everyone here fucks with us, that's so cool. Yeah. Or with Punch Up the Jam, right? Yeah. So, I mean, yeah.

I'm saying South by. We did, didn't we? Yeah. That's awesome. That's so cool. Kind of before we really were great friends with Miel, right? I don't think she had even done it yet. Yeah.

Shout out to Miel. Shout out to Miel. God damn, she fucking was. Bray-to. Bray-to. Bray-to. Columbus. I mean, the whole, oh, man, tour last year.

That was so sick. Columbus was so rad. Lights went out. That was so sick. Columbus was so rad. Lights went out. It was so hot. It was so hot. Beers for the audience. Did the show on the way. Bought all their canned beers and then passed them out to the crowd, dude.

People were going to their trunks for food and drinks. It was so rad. Yeah, that's a pretty good. Yeah, I'll probably never forget that. All right. Let me see. Heather Guero. What's up, Heather?

What's your favorite thing about the podcast? What's your favorite thing about doing the podcast? I mean, you know, I don't want to... I mean, that's really difficult, man. It's sappy. I mean, it's... It's fun to, you know what? It's an out.

It's like being funny is one of those things that you feel like, it's just fun fighting with people on your level. It's like doing this for two hours. It's like playing a pickup basketball game where you're playing hard as hell. And you're just playing. You're like, I can't believe Sean just made that shot yeah fuck ian just made that pass damn i'm setting picks like a motherfucker today like that's it just feels like it feels like playing any good it feels like playing any sport like you know it's just yeah that's what i like it's about it it's a slightly exaggerated version

of just what we do anyway yeah like why we became friends in the first place you know i say sometimes it's an understatement of what we do anyway yeah for me i didn't i didn't know exactly where comedy was going like i didn't really i didn't you know i didn't have a direction yeah i moved here on the you know people like people are like, well, you got to go. And you can only hear that so many times. And then you go and then you get here and you're like, I mean, what am I really doing? Going to the mall with me. And for me, this was what turns out. This is why I moved here.

Yeah. I had no idea, but it's so cool. That's my favorite part. Are you gushing? Yeah, yeah. Of course. I mean, it's insane that. That's my favorite part. Huh? Are you gushing? Yeah. Yeah, of course. I mean, it's insane that you get to do this.

For real. Squirting. That's so much different than someone's being emotional. Wait, are you squirting right now? He's a real emotional squirter. Are you hitting me with the emo squirt? He's at the pit,

dude. I've got some questions too. I've got some questions too. You fucking prick. Stop it. God. How about that? Well, that's cool that you both have questions. Next question. Good for you guys. Here's a question from my ex-girlfriend Amber.

And she wants to know, was moth life way better before electricity? Was what? The life of moths better before electricity, where light was more scarce. God, she's funny. I mean, there was also, there was fires, right? But not as many as lights. There were fires, but not as many. When fires happened, moths must have been going like, fuck, awesome.

And then they flew into it and died, so maybe not. So here's a weird thing. Gosh, some of this is true i know it because i didn't just make this up okay but the reason that moths uh like flap around light is because the moon is their like central oh point of something and so they like they flap around all this light because they're trying to go past it because they think they should be going farther so some of that is true that's what what the case is, I'll say, before electricity.

It was for sure better, yeah. Now they have so many distractions, they probably never know where they are. I can tell you this for sure, in West River, South Dakota, moths are called millers. And a popular joke is miller time. And they just kill a bunch of moths.

Moths? Yeah, like if you go in the garage and there's a bunch of moths, because there you go in the garage uh and there's a bunch of moths because there are you'd be like ah it's miller time my dad called millers i don't know people don't call them moths i think they do both but i just i know that another an accepted term is millers okay cool yeah miller filberts for hazelnuts that's right two podcasts in a row or ricans for puerto r, yeah. Boricua. Here's another one.

This is from Jordan on Twitter, jyork87. What's up, Jordan? Serious question. Is it possible to separate art from artists or are great things made by shitty people forever ruined? I think it's possible to separate. Not at all. I think it's 100% possible. I separate Michael Jackson.

I separate R. Kelly. I really do. You separate R. Kelly do I think most people do they just refuse to acknowledge that they do just because you cut something out doesn't mean you stopped enjoying it abstinence is different than not being able to enjoy it

I'd like to go back a second go on I really flew over that R. Kelly I think R. Kelly had a lot of great music I separate Michael Jackson for sure because the music was he's kind of like I mean listen it's a weird thing to talk about

man but like I don't think so I think people kind of lie about this a lot I understand that Twitter is like a great place for you to look like a good person but in your heart deep down it's like people who started saying Louie wasn't funny after that happened

yes he was we all thought that that's not that's not true he sucks but like his stand up was so good and even if you're going to abstain from something because somebody did something that bad I understand that and I respect the decision.

And there's stuff that I've done. That's the thing. There's stuff that I'm like, I don't really want to be out here listening to R. Kelly. There's stories where I'm like, I... But that doesn't make it not good music. That's just not... Or to me, at least, I don't think that's the same.

I bring it up a lot where, and I won't go into detail, but there's a couple things where I'm like, fuck, I wish I hadn't have done that. Kicking in a window one time. You's you know a couple things where I'm like fuck I didn't I wish I hadn't have done that kicking in a window one time you know one of those things where you're like god damn it but none of this is on the level of what these people no no it's not it's not not at all

none of that stuff I don't have anything sexually but I have things that I've done in my life that if you knew you'd probably be like you know what I mean like it's like very it feels very twittery to me it is very twittery you know what I mean? It's like very... It feels very Twitter-y to me. It is very Twitter-y. You know what I mean? It's very Twitter-y.

Will you guys do me a favor, please? No, that's not a favor. That's a demand. Will you both say Twitter-y three more times? Twitter-y, Twitter-y, Twitter-y. Twitter-y, Twitter-y, Twitter-y. That's all I wanted. Pretty simple request. It's a simple man of simple pleasure. out all right i don't know i mean there's a difference between like

being at a wedding and then r kelly's bump and grind comes on and you're all like oh it's a little weird well that that's like one thing but like yeah i don't know, man. I was in Las Vegas and I went to the Michael Jackson Cirque de Soleil last May and it was packed and people were having a great time. We live in LA. People don't care about that shit. And it's like, man, it's a very

privileged thing. Even us talking about separating the art from the artist is such an American, like we read all about celebrities all fucking day. You think other people give a shit? No, Billie Jean comes on, they like that song, and then they go to fucking work tomorrow.

Like, shut up. You know what I mean? I know. If you're going to pick that, there's no such thing as conscious. Consumption. Yeah, it's just not real. That's not real, man. I think it's a very personal decision that everybody has to make. Of course. I also don't think you should like.

If somebody's favorite movie is Annie Hall, I mean, I don't know. You can't censor what your brain tells you to think. But like. And you can't tell a schmuck just because they like. Kelly Jordan wears a Michael Jackson. Yeah. She wears a shirt that is Michael Jackson's face, is the whole shirt.

Yeah. Much like my cross-color shirt that was Africa. People love Michael Jackson. And I remember one time I was like, hey, you know, maybe don't wear it everywhere. And she's like, all right, I get it. But it's also like, because he did that thing, or he did it, whatever,

because there's these allegations or whatever there is, that can't take away what you felt and what you fell in love with. You know what I mean? It's like, you don't have family members in your family who have done horrible things who you still love? Yeah. Because you have that emotional connection to them?

In many ways, art becomes independent of the artist for better or worse once the art is released to the public. Exactly. Then once public interacts with art, then the art belongs to the public more than the person who made it, as much as we might not like that. But like, you know what I mean? Not like sticking up or defending anything that anyone ever did, but it's like. Of course not. Because I'm not saying run away from consequences either. No.

Like I'm not one of these comics who like, oh, it was just a joke. Take people to task for what they say and what they do or whatever. I'm just saying. Of course. The way I feel about that is that it's just not rude. Also, I mean like art becomes so interwoven with like your life that it's like. And so much of this shit is like just who got caught. Yeah.

Yeah. You know how many of these fucking rock stars you really love? Like I hate that everybody does this shit, but like it known that david bowie and them were fucking kids and we're fucking but that shit's like cool r kelly got caught so now you got to take racial implications aside obviously it's just one of those things it's like i'm in entertainment these motherfuckers are scumbags yeah chill you don't even know what you're talking about john lennon beat his wife and i can't separate the music of the beatles from me being like and my mom and my little sister driving up from like northern and like you know what i mean and like these beautiful memories and it's so crazy for you to have to it's so crazy to make you have to

that's like that's that's the internet man i think it's very on other end, though, Peter Cetera was a volunteer firefighter. That's what we should be focused on. That's really what we... Maybe he was. I was just kidding. I was doing a bit. It sounds very... I'd buy that for sure. Yeah, that seemed really reasonable.

By the way... Steve Buscemi was a firefighter. By the way, his name is Buscemi.er. Buscemi. By the way, his name is Buscemi. They're ready to release all of Kelly Jordan's favorite shows. Chicago just nailed everything she's into. They just keep coming up with jobs in Chicago.

Chicago PD. Chicago Fire. Chicago MD. So that was a good question. Those are our thoughts. And again, I think it's a very personal decision you have to make for yourself and then also from artist to artist. You know what I mean? I very rarely listen to Hitler's jazz records anymore. I have to be honest about that.

For me, that's a more personal thing. Also, I don't want to talk to you about it. Yeah. Oh, that's another thing. That's one thing I want to make very clear. We want to talk to I will co-sign this. I want to talk to all of you about everything. I respect what everyone in the all family thinks.

I'm not going to engage with any debates on this on my timeline. No. If you come up with like. I'm not going to engage. I don't engage with any debates about anything. I don't want to. It is a personal choice, man. Yeah, man.

I engage with one debate and that's how much I love Laura. Master debate. Cool. That's a cool joke. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it.

And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could. Let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. It might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days

and you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this. But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to make it accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business. No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice

little box and it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code all fantasy at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code all fantasy. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a

younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's my wife did everything, but it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and say,

what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously, you want to be a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers, and then they give you your best options.

They're just a few clicks, and then you're going to find your lowest price. And their expert license support team is your advocate. They work for you. They're not getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not out there being smarmy. They just want to help you out. They're answering the questions, handling the paperwork, shaking the hands,

kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you. And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about, but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on. Probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy, get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits

of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance.

Make it easy with Policy Genius. Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country. You figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right? You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two Damon movies. I'm out here.

Obviously, you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because everyone in the world knows new languages. They know multiple languages, and we all only know one. Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to help you the quickest way possible. You speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel. It's a science-backed language learning app, and it's going to get you talking fast. It's science-backed. What else do you want? Wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors. That's the old school way to learn a new language. Babbel, they have these 10-minute lessons. They're quick. They're handcrafted by over 200 language experts. And they're ready to get you

talking in three weeks, ready to get you speaking a new language. I should say speaking a new language. You don't talk a language. Anyway, talking is the key to really knowing any language. You have to, you got to do it. You got to be saying it out loud. And Babbel, they have tools. They have tools on the app where you can speak the language. They'll help you with your accent. There's things where on the app, they will talk to you and then you can decipher what they said. It's all the real world applications that you're going to need to actually use it. You know, Babbel's tips and tools, like I said, they're grounded in real life situations. Everything's focused on conversation. So you're going to be ready to talk everywhere you go,

because that's the key conversation. You want to know how to get by, right? And like I said, little 10-minute segments, they're perfect for, say, someone like myself, don't have a huge attention span. 10 minutes in and out, boom, you're done. And don't just try a word for word. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, shout out old lady's alma mater, and beyond, They prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college, which come on, that's a no brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there. And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now you get up to 60%

off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babble.com slash all fantasy again get up to 60 off at babble.com slash all fantasy spelled b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply uh how did you all meet each other we kind of talked about that this is for megan but we talked about that right yeah yeah you at dante's the first day of a comedy contest in portland i met you the first time i went right? Yeah. I met you at Dante's. The first day of a comedy contest in Portland. I met you the first time I went to Bridgetown. I met you a couple years later at some festival. I consider our meeting, like for me,

when David and I met was at that, like on that couch at High Plains, the aforementioned, which is another word from last week's draft that I aforementioned. Here's a question from Andrew Burnham. Stop. Cool joke. Keep going. Here's a joke from Andrew Bernhardt, Dr. Bernhardt DPM

on Twitter. He is a foot and ankle surgeon. Help me. Well, he's asking, how's Sean Jordan's ankle and foot these days? He wants to know. Also, I was asking, how's my gout? My gout has been wonderful. My ankle? Yeah. I'll tell you. What's's first name andrew dr andrew bernhardt doctor is the first name i'll tell you doctor yes first name is doctor so my ankle hurts a lot when i wake up because i've been running and biking a lot i've been going to the gym. And I do leg presses, and then I'll do the leg press,

and then I'll put it so it's just my toes doing the leg press. So it's kind of like an ankle. Calf raises. Yeah, calf raise, but doing a leg press. Anyway, my ankle hurts like crazy when I wake up, and then about an hour into the day, it's fine for the rest of the day. The inside of my left knee is killing me almost all the time. And I wonder if I'm hurting it by working out.

So anyway, there you go. Nothing funny about that at all. Doc, if you'd like to shout out about his knee, please let him know. That's exactly what's happening. Um,

sorry, that wasn't funny at all. No, that's right. That was good. That was good. Asked and answered. What do you call a dinosaur that goes to the gym a bunch, David?

What? A Tyrannosaurus flex. All right. So that was hilarious. So now we can keep going. What about a Brontosaurus? What? But B-R-A-W-N.

I think that's actually better. What about... What about... Tricepceratops? What about a buff dinosaur? Wait, tricep... Tricep... What about tricep serotops? What about a buff dinosaur? Wait, tricep? Tricep. What about a buff dinosaur?

What about a pecterodactyl? Pecterodactyl, yeah. Yeah, dude. All these are better than you a joke, bro. This is the writer's room. Tyrannosaurus flex was fine. Don't you dare tell me it wasn't. Take a long, hard look at yourself.

Where'd the black belt go, by the way? I don't know. Oh, wait. We'll solve the mystery later. I was wearing it wasn't. Take a long, hard look at yourself. Where'd the black belt go, by the way? I don't know. Oh, wait. We'll solve the mystery later. I was wearing it last night. I think it's right over there. Unless Max stole it. We brought a new child into the fold last night.

Yeah, man. I made him wear a polo shirt. He rules. It's right here. Yeah. It's right here. Yeah. Shots of Beasley.

He's great. Max Beasley? Yeah, he rules. Yeah, shots of Max Beasley. He was a PA on the lot. Oh, really? What a mensch. This is for Trent Hall.

What is the worst all-time draft pick in AFE history? Sample a player. Stop it. No. Oh, nice. Nice. Nice. Yeah, it is.

That's exactly what it is. What did you think I was going to say? Bean burrito, no onions. I kind of think it might have been Muggsy Bogues. What did we take Muggsy Bogues again? I took Muggsy Bogues for the first in the NBA. Oh, yeah, that's right. Because it wasn't a first pick.

It was based on NBA players based on things other than their skill on the court. But your... Tiffany also was... The other basketball player you took, the guy who was on the Celtics, looks better day by day. Jalen Brown. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's going to end great for me.

I don't think I was on that draft. I don't think you were. No, you weren't. I can now cop to any plane on a movie was a pretty shitty pick. I get that. Any plane on a movie? Oh, any movie on a plane. My bad.

What did you pick that? What was that? Movies that make you cry. Oh, God. But then like being in an airplane. Another one I wasn't on, which... Holy shit. I fall apart without you, man. I need you. Both Lion Kings,

The Notebook, Philadelphia, Almost Famous. Almost Famous? Yeah, off top. I mean, yeah, tons of that movie. Is there a plane crash in that movie? Almost. Oh, wait, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. A lot of that movie. Is there a plane crash in that movie? Almost. Oh wait, I'm thinking about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking about a lot of that movie makes it different parts of it. That part where they're, what's that, what's that Elton John song? Mad Hatter?

Oh, that's in Almost Famous? It is. Mad Hatters, yeah. It's when his, when Russell's wife comes in and they all, they're like, God damn it.

They say something and everybody at the table answers. And his wife's like, she's with me. She's her face is like, Oh, so he's cheating on me. Yeah. And that,

and that Mona Lisa's and Mad Hatter song is playing. And, uh, it, I cry for a bunch of reasons when that happens. But yeah, anyway, anyway,

that's all good. Yeah. I loved it. I also got questions too. I'm going to ask one more. Let's go to yours. Nine inches, anyway. Anyway, that's all good. Yeah, I loved it. I also got questions too. I'm going to ask one more. Nine inches, Dave. That's nasty. Smile!

Yeah, I know it's an audio medium, but the smile with which Sean delivers that joke. Dave. This one's from Kenny Slocum at Enmore Macon Cuss. Sup, bro? Is that just his name backwards? Nope's not i'm dumb as hell uh which human being and i'll make it to right now this moment in time do you think has the highest general approval rating wow isn't that a good question rock obama the rocks up there no obama

no way dude so right the rock goes into god shitheads like into... God, shitheads like The Rock, too. Shitheads don't like Obama. Tom Hanks is up there. Shitheads like Tom Hanks? I think everybody likes Tom Hanks. I think Shaq is up there. Shaq's got to be up there. Barkley might be up there.

Barkley? What are you talking about? Charles Barkley. I have the highest approval rating for Charles Barkley. The Rock's got to be up there your personal approval rating. I have the highest approval rating for Charles Barkley. The Rock's gotta be up there because he doesn't even really make good movies ever and everyone still loves him.

Also, he was in Ballers. Yeah. You know. Gosh. Yeah. I think Rock seems like a good answer. Rock's gotta be up there.

The human with the highest general approval rating. Oh, Mother Teresa is probably one of those more she's catholic oh alive also like she was pretty shady it came out afterwards really yeah yeah like like me too no not me too no i think racist or something i know she was she's bad in this all the good ones are I think a lot of people like Justin Timberlake

don't you that's that's that goes back to you that's you man you think that I love Barack Obama and Justin Timberlake

2020 nothing else I will hear nothing else on the subject I like both those guys too atmosphere I think there's some people out there

Sean Daly has the highest human approval rating in history yeah John Daly's number two Sean Daly Sean Daly Juan Daly

you guys don't know him he's just a nice guy Spawn Daly the comic book character atmosphere with an F what about the dessert Flan Daly Flan Daly

I eat Flan Daly no you don't no you don't you don't know when was the last time the dessert Flan Daily? Flan Daily, dude. I eat Flan Daily. No, you don't. No, you don't. When was the last time you had Flan? Sub-question, have you ever had Flan? Get out of here. I don't like it. I'm on trial right now. My mom used to make it sometimes when I was a kid. I don't like it. Mom Flan? I don't like the texture.

It's like cold. I don't like it. Yeah, it's weird. I probably have had Flan within the last 18 months. I'd guess. Loose Cross. Loan within the last 18 months, I guess. Loose Cross. Let me tighten up the cross. Loose Cross. Loose Cross, baby.

God, The Rock is up there. But I feel like even racists like The Rock. That's what I mean. Yeah. He's one of those ones that kind of transcends. Like Will Smith. It's probably The Rock. Yeah, it's probably The Rock.

You just said Will Smith, and Will Smith might be a good one, a good one oh you mean my best friend stop it i don't really like to it's crazy because like we're just homies so i don't like to think of him as an icon yeah cool we met cool cool there's a video on my instagram that's great um do any questions yes Yes, I do, Sean. Fuck off. This question... Eat shit and die. That's a harsh one that I feel like has been lost. Eat shit and die? Like if you were in traffic and somebody cut you off

and you pulled up next to them and you rolled your way in, eat shit and die, they'd be like, whoa, man. It's harder to say calmly. I didn't know we were kidding and being so serious at the same time. Eat shit and die. This is at Jack W. the third on Twitter. Subject dubs three. Worst advice given to you and by who?

I got one at least for work. I kind of let that stuff come in one ear and out the other. i got one at least for work i kind of let that stuff come in one ear and out the other i got one at least for work this janky ass promoter back in the day who was like sounds corny to say but like kind of jealous that i was like young and good yeah i remember i was talking to him and i was like man i got it's like so hard to write new jokes like this is how new i was i had like five minutes he's like you don't need new jokes why don't you just learn how to tell the five you have whoa it was like mad serious and then smash cut to be at the comedy store like six months ago he pretended like he didn't see me really yeah so what up, Big Al? Gonzales?

I don't give a fuck. Fuck him. I don't really remember any bad advice. I have two. One of them's comedy, one of them's life. And I have a third one that was from my dad that I can't say, but I'll tell you. It was terrible.

I bet it was. It was the worst advice. The advice was so bad that I can't say it. But it was the worst advice I ever got. Can you write it down? You guys have already, you've heard it. I'll tell you after we record. I live my life by that code. So cheese and rice.

I just forgot both. We're still on there. One of them was work. One of them was life, right? Yeah, you said. Neither of them were racist. Oh, yeah. So in middle school, somebody told me that grades don't matter

and don't try until you get to high school. Wow. And that was one, because I did. I was like, all right, fuck it. And then turns out that goes right into high school. Yeah. And then the brief skin you did in college. Yeah.

Turns out your study habits go all, they're just, they're there. Yeah. And the other one was from a comic who said, you need to learn how to work shitty rooms. You don't. You should be able to do that. Oh, yeah. You don't need to learn how to do that.

That's not a skill that you should have to have. You should be good enough to do that already. I think it's a skill that you should keep sharp, though. But it's also something you shouldn't have to learn. So the way they were saying it, you need to it's also something you shouldn't have to learn. So the way they were saying it, you need to go out. If you're just only doing the meltdown every day, you're going to be...

That's why you see these dudes who are so soft, and then they go even on the road, and they can't do anything. Some of them are so funny. I'm going to bring up Phil Schallberger, Portland gentleman. Sure. He's not equipped to handle even Bigfoot,

but Phil is one of the funniest people i've ever met and he's amazing at what he does so you don't need to know how to do these shitty rooms you should be able to do it but you don't it's you don't have to know serve yourself first i would think would be a good thing to say serve yourself first and you like the art you want to make yeah you know in regards to that like say what you want to say and make sure you're doing that first yeah because you do have people like phil shaw where it's like what he does is so singular and amazing yeah um but yeah it wouldn't work and fucking not gonna work at bigfoot the casey funny bone or whatever you know like fucking loony bin and chattahooca or maybe it would i don't know man i think there'd be a lot

of dudes like chattahooca yeah i've worked a lot of rooms that didn't look like it was going to work. Yeah. And then you make it work. I have to. Most of them. Military parties in Pierre. You know what I mean? Like the 42nd Brigade's Christmas party that's two months after Christmas in Pierre. You love Brigades, dude.

I do like a good Brigade. At the same time. I'll say, uh, another ex-girlfriend, another one of my ex-girlfriends and a wonderful standup comedian. Uh, Emma Arnold will go into like crazy ass Idaho rooms.

Yeah. With like material about like abortion and shit like that. And still kill. So like, that's what I mean, man. If it's like really good, you can do it underwater.

She'll go and fuck. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know. But yeah. What, what is mean, man. If it's really good, you can do it underwater. She'll go and fuck. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know. But yeah, what is the other advice? Do you remember? Oh, no, that was both of them. Those were the two, and then the third one, again, can't say. From my dad, it was terrible.

We need it. I have another question from at David Had Dad, or at David Had Father on Twitter. If you all had to switch bodies for one day in a Freaky Friday type scenario, who would want to be who? I think obviously Ian and I would both want to be Sean. Yep. So just a real short, short, quick answer for you, Dave.

Kick-flipping possibilities. Asked and answered. So just a real short quick answer for you Dave Kick flipping possibilities Asked and answered I would love to be able to walk into a mall and buy any of the clothes there Knowing I could wear them And not two shirts I found it amazing I just don't want to sweat all day That would be nice

I just don't want to sweat He thinks his knee hurts Amateur Also the kickflip thing. And then, yeah, Sean. Chris Hemsworth. No, that's the one. I know.

I'm just kidding. Well, fuck. I can't answer. I want to be both of you. You know, what am I doing? I want to be Marissa so I can get nice with those. Yeah, that's what you play. That beat saber thing. I am okay at that game. Are you? Now to be Marissa so I can get nice with that beach saber.

I am okay at that game. Are you? Nowhere near Marissa. Yeah. But when I was in- Marissa's like the LeBron James of that game. When I was in Montgomery, Laura's friend, Mona, I believe, the girl she grew up with. What a name. They had her-

She was telling a shit about the doorknobs. That's how decorated her house was. She knew shit about the fixture, all that stuff. Anyway, upstairs, they had that game, and I'm okay at it. Nice. Nowhere numerous. Nice. Yeah.

Fantastic. This one's from Tom Guffey. Oh, from the Bay Area. What's up, buddy? Have you guys ever permanently canned any content? And if so, why? Philadelphia. I assume that means, like, across all platforms. Yeah, Philadelphia. Philadelphia. Philadelphia, yeah. What's up, buddy? Have you guys ever permanently canned any content? And if so, why? Philadelphia. I assume that means like across all platforms.

Yeah, Philadelphia. Philadelphia. Philadelphia, yeah. For a variety of reasons. That we're not going to go into. But none of them. None of them what people are thinking. I mean, I also don't like particularly love putting out like.

There's a lot of times that shit was funny in the room. Yeah. But it was just like it's not going to translate, and I don't want to put out something that seems incomplete or so slop. Philly felt like it was a show for the room. It was for the room. It was great, and it was an amazing show.

And by the way, man, I think that about, you guys are lucky you've ever seen me do stand-up on TV. Yeah, you ungrateful pieces of shit. No, I just mean. No, I'm joking. Like, I don't think that I'd rather not record any of the live performance that I ever engage in, to be completely

honest. I think it's all for the room. I think it's like, I think a lot of stuff gets lost in translation. There's something so beautiful and magical about a good live performance. Yeah. It can never make its way, like, it's amazing specials that are on TV, but like, your special is amazing. But like, yeah, but good live performance. Yeah. Never make its way. Like, there's amazing specials that are on TV. Your special was amazing. But like, yeah, they're like, you know.

There was that one where Rory Scoville climbed the fucking, like the lighting fixture at Moon Tower. I think it was Moon Tower. Oh, I saw him do that at Bridgetown once. He climbed like the border. He's a wild card. He could have done it a bunch of places. But there was that video where you're like,

God, that's awesome that I get to see it. But that was like, I wish that kind of would have stayed in the border. He's a wild card. He could have done it a bunch of places. But there was that video where you're like, God, that's awesome that I get to see it. But that was like, I wish that kind of would have stayed in the room. That was for them. It's not comedy climbing that, but God. It is. Well, of course it is. Have we ever not put out an in-studio episode?

I don't think so. I don't think so. There was two that I can think of that we never put out. Philly was one and then the other one. Yeah. Where's the other one? We're here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember that one. Yeah, so there's another one we didn't put out. Yeah. I just lip synced, we killed a hitchhiker to Ian. He goes, oh, yeah, I remember. And then here I am being honest because I can't lie. I still wear their skin to bed. I'm going to buy those shoes tonight.

Buy those shoes, baby. One of those are Green Soul P-Rods. Green Soul P-Rods. Yeah, man buy those shoes tonight. Buy those shoes, baby. One of the Green Soul P-Rods. Green Soul P-Rods. Yeah, man, those are tight. Another one of my nicknames. I mean, there's stuff we've made on the Late Late Show that we haven't put out just because it's not good enough or it just didn't come out the way we wanted.

You work on the Late Late Show? I work on the Late Late Show. It is, Gordon. Yeah, it just happens every now and then. You have to be... I mean, you go into everything with the best intentions of making something good, and it doesn't always happen, Gordon. Yeah, it just happens every now and then. You have to be, I mean, you go into everything with the best intentions

of making something good and it doesn't always happen, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think you shouldn't be afraid to scrap stuff.

I don't really like this whole, I'm going to scrap my whole set. Like, I don't, I don't like this whole just give out everything. Yeah. Like,

like, I would, I would give out less if I could. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like,

I don't, I don't like that whole like oh you have to know everything about so and so and they're putting out content every day and they put out three stand-up clips so we fuck that oh i know man that stuff exhausts me and it's just like and it's just like that's not what it's supposed to be man that's where skateboarding is gone now it's exhausting for these kids because instagram they like if you want to be relevant you have to put out some crazy shit at least once a week.

It doesn't need to be huge stairs or rails, but it's got to be something where people are like, fuck, that is an amazing skateboarding. You have to do it once a week. And I think that sucks. You've got to do that so I can watch it while I'm taking a shit? You're out here bruising your body up. Here's me though there's too much entertainment if you want to be like a skateboarder i guess now i'm focusing on skateboarding i don't mind them having to put out

a bunch of shit how much shit did you have to put out i was never a professional skateboarder i don't know man i think that at some level it's like because there's never going to be a top people want good stuff always there's never going to be a stop it'd be nice if you could work on it quietly and then every six months put out a part you know there's no like there's no cap well every like three years there's no like cap to it like people are insatiable yeah you know i mean this feels too long there should be a happy medium in between the two. It takes a long time to film a skate park. Didn't you just say they should put shit out every week? They should. I did. You should put a trick out.

A trick or two. Every week, I think. Just to show that you're still skating? Yeah, and honestly, if Reynolds and no shade on Andrew Reynolds, he's one of the best there ever will be. But if he just put out a video of him doing a kickflip in his driveway once a week, I'd be like, fuck yeah.

And by the way, he puts out tons of shit on Instagram that like 18 year olds don't even put out. And he's like 43 or some shit. He's almost as old as you can be. You guys wanted to hear some deep skateboarding. People do want to hear the deep skateboarding stuff. Donovan does. What's up, Donovan?

That's a good question, though, because I do think about that all the time, man. It's like we have to put out so much more content than the people who did this. Oh, yeah. Who started 10 years before. No one's ever had to have as, and I'm not like complaining. It's whatever. I'm just saying no one has ever had to have as much content as like a stand-up comedian does in the game you

know i don't mean this in like a in like a a self-aggrandizing way but like if i sit and think about in an average month i have to write what's that 12 tv shows 16 tv shows yeah four podcasts two patreon podcasts whatever stand-up we're gonna do and then anything else that that's like so much output and then you gotta have a life to live to reflect on yeah to to make more of that shit's crazy right now and it's just like people and that's why by the way that's why stand-up comedy fucking sucks right now yeah i said it it fucking sucks that shit's whack dude right now yeah i said it it fucking sucks that shit's whack dude because it's too much man like except for me back in the day you used to be i'm still super you're the good one you're the good one back in the day i'm the good one comics talk about it all the time though right we're in

it we can tell the truth it's not cool that shit is not cool right now weird right now man it sucks it's i don't think it's in a weird i think it's in a bad place it's in a weird spot i think there's a bad place a lot i just saw brian regan i'll tell you there's a lot of good still in the world that's brian reagan's not in comedy dog he's brian reagan i'm in comedy this motherfucker did not swear it was he's amazing but he's like he's like he'll only play to like yeah yeah he's he's he's different but his empire has been built He's not trying to get on Here's two things that have to be addressed I think are like

This is a good platform for them What, lights and out? I'm making fist city I set it off pod Katie Nolan Asked a question Fuck you Nolan Used to be a class act

Get bent We love you the question. Fuck you, Nolan. Used to be a class act. Get bent. Whatever. Class act is a funny. Get bent, you turkey. We love you so much. You're amazing. That Disney,

the Disney songs was the best episode we've ever done. It was so fun. She wants us to power the eligible bachelor, bachelorettes in Stardew Valley. I am the only one who can remember this.

I don't remember them. It's been a long time. I don't even know. I smoke a lot of marijuana. Chungus. That's what I remember about Stardew Valley. Chungus was a cow. He's number them. It's been a long time. I don't even know. I smoke a lot of marijuana. Chungus. That's what I remember about Stardew. Chungus was a cow. He's number one.

She's number one because she got milked. I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me? Did you just stroke out? He did the next best thing. Quoted meet the parents. I met the parents.

Greg, could you milk me? Okay, where did this question go? I have nipples. Where the fuck did that come from? Never in, gosh, 10 years have I heard you even say meet the parents or talked about meet the parents or referenced a time when you saw me. I know you've seen it, but that was just so funny. I have nipples, Greg.

Greg, could you milk me? I'm talking about milk and chungus. That's what David called beating off way before you started Stardew Valley, by the way. Milk and chungus? Gross. That's what I called it before I started beating off. I'm going to milk chungus and go to bed.

I'm going to go slaughter the hog, milk the chungus. Slaughter the hog. What does milking chungus mean? It's cute that you thought I talked to my dad when I was a kid. I didn't either. That was me just looking at a street light. So this is from... Yeah, that's about right.

At Drunken Rip City. Nice. And his name is just a basketball emoji, a taco emoji, a beer emoji, a whiskey emoji. And then I think that's a comment emoji. But anyway, this guy knows what he likes. So, my body and emojis? My body. What do you think of my body? This is a question you're going to

have to answer. This is about the future of the podcast. Nine inches. Nine inches. Is Sean leaving the pod after the nuptials, or is his bride moving to Los Angeles? My friend, the answer is neither, Sean. Yeah.

Neither. Yeah. She is the most important thing in my life. This is, every day I'm just like, holy shit, I get to, this is what I do for a job. Yeah. This is the most important thing other than Laura in my life and I will do everything. Other than Laura and martial arts. Yeah. Wine and, you know, certain kinds of soup and. Yeah. Chowders. Like if you hit. You can say chowders. Yeah. Wine and certain kinds of soup.

Chowders. If you hit like five green lights. Yeah, I have to go to Finland too. That's all way more popular. When you see an elk. It's easy to get from poorer than LA and vice versa. Yeah, you've been doing it for a couple months. Heavily. And I will

continue to do so. Yeah. Because a couple people have DM me and tweeted about that or whatever like this is it's my job this is what I do so I treat it as such and I will treat this like work I mean you can't just I'll treat it like a trick yeah

I'm trying to be serious Dave I'm sorry no this I will do anything to keep doing I will keep doing there's nothing that could stop me from keep doing david and i are leaving the podcast in a surprise yeah yeah yeah john's gonna keep it going uh ian's just been tapping david the whole time like tell him let him know

David's not going to become the new commentator for the X Games you weren't too serious what are you talking about there's no way this will stop we're not going to stop doing it you're just going to come down to LA once or twice a month and spend some time down there we got busy schedules for weeks

it's a very easy thing to do it's not like you will exist in both cities it's not like laura lives in new zealand yeah i think you know it's it's very very very right and then she could have a lot of reasons to be in la at some point too she's in people you never really talk about laura because you're a selfish guy but like uh selfish as hell but she'll talk about her right now she's drop dead gorgeous oh yeah she's so god she's the absolute but now i don't mean to say oh yeah right after you said you're uh oh yeah yeah yeah she's oh yeah say it again yeah she said she's a she's a beautiful lovely person not like that was to that's not what defines somebody. She cares about me. I'm getting into their family doctor.

Well-bred. Yeah. She pushed me to get health insurance. She's amazing. One of the top five female vocalists. White. Protestant. What?

I don't know. Protestant is from one of those gangster movies. It's like The Departed or something they say Protestant I can't remember I couldn't tell you yeah

two three more we'll keep doing AFL yeah yeah yeah let's do two three more also for the record I don't know Ian hasn't even checked you guys haven't seen

no it's popping up on my thing right now can we talk about yeah Malloy got permabanned from Twitter dude shout out to enemy of the pod

Mike Malloy shout out to enemy of the pod banned from twitter yeah that's what he said it's in the dog his brain is gonna explode what is he gonna do i don't know he's got the like busiest mind he's probably gonna get so buff he'll start another account immediately it's already you're telling me that michael was permanently from Twitter. How can they kick you off forever? I don't know. They can't. He'll just start another account, I think. He's saying rules shouldn't apply to me.

That's sort of his ethos. He's never. Man, congrats, Mikey. That's amazing, dude. That sucks. You're a force of good on Twitter. That's how we know each other. Right?

Yeah. I know him because he was a writer on the show. Is that how you met him how we know each other uh right yeah because that's he can i know him because he was a writer on the show is that how you met him i know i didn't mean i didn't know mike until we did the upside right yeah yeah yeah and i just knew him because he was super funny about sports on twitter yeah oh crazy well we already met so fuck it fuck twitter uh yeah that's so funny he got permavand uh do either of you want to ask questions i have some as well uh yeah mine are kind of weird yeah let me look mine are like more like okay here's a funny topic so what topics have you wanted to draft but were afraid

they'd be too risky or off color there weren't a ton of them, but there was one where, I forget who it was, but she wanted to draft celebrity kids. It was Kara. It was Kara. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kara Clank. Kara Clank. Amazing stand-up comedian.

Awesome. Very funny. Great writer. Yeah. Fantastic. And she did the podcast anyway. Yeah. Because we were-

She called the Audible, right? No, I called the Audible. Oh, you did? Okay. I talked about it with her, and I was like, because we were sitting around, I texted the two of you the topic. We were like, celebrity kids? I remember, I was like, I her and I was like because we were sitting around I texted the two of you the topic I was like I mean I guess and I started putting it together

and I'm like okay if I take Apple Martin then what am I going to say like why it's going to be 10 minutes I'm like you probably have great reasons and then it's going to be three dudes in their 30s talking about famous babies. Yeah.

Which is what we do. We're sick of it. We do it all the time. I don't want to mix my home life and my work life. No, we've got to keep something separate. When you just said three dudes and they're 30. I think sometimes because we are dudes, I'm hesitant for like super sex shit. Yeah. I just don't want to be like, yo, here's the top five smoking waitresses in Glendale.

Yeah. No, exactly. We want everyone to have a good time and feel comfortable listening to our podcast. You know what I mean? It's kind of weird if you start sexualizing stuff too much. Nine inches. Yeah, there was... Gosh. There was one that I'm

thinking of. Cool. I didn't like it when Sean pitched top five white male vocalists. Protestant. It would be funny to draft white male vocalists Top five Macbook Air

I don't know if I know five straight up You know what's gonna happen if like Sean and I are ever out of town And then you have to do it You and three other black people on Sean's gonna be so pissed when he misses it I'm gonna take Steve Winwin first Sean just comes up

throws a laptop at the wall David tell me anything other than you pick Steve Winwood I'm trying to find another question oh here's a fun one from Waysharp who has seen a ghost?

are there you? man I haven't Oh, here's a fun one from WaySharp, at WaySharp. Who has seen a ghost? Are there you? Man. I haven't. I think I saw one once in my, I've told this story on the podcast. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I thought my friend David Brew was in the corner of my room. I yelled at him to get out.

I went to turn on the light because I was going to hit him and nobody was there. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. So one time time this isn't seeing a ghost but i had a dream i can picture it now i had a dream where uh it was at my dad's funeral i was the only one there um he was an open casket it wasn't by the way he was cremated barely had a funeral but he so worth it i was at the funeral he sits up i want to be cremated

later tonight. You know what I'm talking about? You know, I love you more than anyone else. You have this uncanny ability to sprinkle just depressing little details. The stories that don't need to be. Don't matter. He sits up and then he got up and walked towards me. And God, it was the closest I've come to seeing a ghost.

Cause it, fuck man. It was him. I, it was crazy. It was crazy. That's wild. It was a young him. Maybe even a him I didn't know that I've just seen pictures of. Field of Dreams style.

It was wild and just walked right up to me and didn't say anything or anything. How scared were you when you woke up? I woke up and killed a family member. You remember those dreams where you have to stay up for like 10 minutes afterwards? Yeah, just like chilling out because you're shook. Yeah, for sure. Maybe like go to the bathroom so you can be in the light

for a minute. Take a dump just like, okay. I had a dream the other night that I was with Laura's nephew and I lost him. We were at the mall and I lost him and I was running through the mall trying to find him and I couldn't find him.

I had to call the cops and shit. And I woke up and I was very shook enough to where I left the bedroom. Like I went to a different spot. I was just like, holy buckets. Get ahold of yourself. That was a dream. I texted him.

He's four. He's got a phone. No big. All right, nice. Cool. Does he really? No. Oh, okay.

Here's a question that kind of just lets a shout out marissa when you guys do a song draft oh this is from uh at frank tj magnolia on twitter uh when you guys do a song draft weird way to spell ocean and put the songs in the episode are those edited and after or are you guys singing along to them this is us just singing it in the studio or the house or whatever and then marissa like somehow seamlessly blends in and like makes it sound like we're always singing right on time. It's astonishing to me how she does that. She's an amazing producer. I've listened to a few where I'm like,

okay, well surely there's no way this will sound okay. And then she does it. Yeah, it's all her. And it sounds, yeah, it sounds like me and Mufasa were right next to each other or something. Mufasa never sang a song in The Lion King,

I guess. Yeah, so that's the last question from me. Either of you guys want to ask? Yeah, one more. I'm having a good time. I'm having a real good time. John Torres said, what happened at that zoo back in Colorado? John Torres? John Torres.

I don't even know what he means by that. What happened at that zoo back in Colorado? Yeah, I don't know. Here's a fun one. Tom Oliphant, is that what you just said? No. No.'t know, dude. Here's a fun one. Tom Oliphant, is that what you just said? No. No. Not at all.

John Torres, dude. Oliphant? I feel like you either know it's Oliphant or you don't. That's not... You know what I mean? What? There's not a lot of names that sound like Oliphant. I want serious answers on this question.

This is a really good one. Tom Oliphant, who's the first to flip when the 5-0 puts on the pressure? Carmel. No. You don't think so? I don't know. It's a weird question.

I am a surly bastard. I don't see either of you flipping either. That's why I said me. I would never in my wildest dreams. The question is, who's the first to flip when the 5-0? Like if you're getting interrogated, are you going to stitch? Oh, no.

I wouldn't. Gosh, i would do then you get into it a little bit because you're like how much prison time would you do for like if i knew that you killed somebody i could be pointing at either one of them by the way yeah if i knew that you killed somebody i wouldn't want you to be in that position though man the only so don't kill anybody all i'm saying is the rules I've always heard from snitching is just like, if me and you do it together, then you can't snitch on me.

Yeah. If it's like some other shit where I did some shit and then they're asking you what I did. I don't think that's snitch. That's like, if you're going to get in trouble, why would you get in trouble for something I did? If you weren't involved also,

that's, that's crazy. Yeah. I mean, you can't really be, you can't, gosh, I guess if you get, like, if they were like, but you can't really be. You can't. Gosh.

I guess if you get. Like if they were like, if you knew I killed somebody and they were asking you and it was going to be like they thought I killed him or they thought you killed him, tell them I killed him. I would never want that to be the case. Yeah. I would never. That's not. You got to stand behind your own.

You can't be out here asking people to save your life. In that case, gosh. You can't be asking. be out here asking people to save your life. In that case, gosh. You can't be asking like, it's one thing to be like, me and you robbed this bank and like, you get caught and they're like, who was with you? We are

holding court in the streets. Right, but it was like you were wearing his sweatshirt and they found it there. Now it's like, we're gonna send him to jail. Yeah, and then it's like, no, fucking say that I did it. And again, just to go back to the beginning of the question, it's me. I would flip on either of you so fast. This cushy cupcake life in Glendale. Come on. I wear tuxedos

three times a year. You don't think I'm going to flip? I don't. I don't think I haven't worn a tuxedo that wasn't novelty. In size or color. So just to lighten it up a little bit. Last question. Sure.

Let's do it. From Thomas Rhodes. What's up, Thomas? Favorite frozen pizza brand. I'm going to take it first. I'm going to say Tombstone, and it's a clear winner. Okay. Yeah.

Honestly, man. Tombstone. I'm fancy, dog. I'm a DiGiorno guy. DiGiorno is good. Tombstone's better. I don't know. I don't know if I have a favorite, but I like the Trader Joe's ones. Tombstone is better. I don't know. I don't know if I have a favorite.

I like the Trader Joe's ones. That's just because Tombstone doesn't have any vegetables. You can get it if you're crazy. If you're a loser, you can find vegetables. But you don't know that from experience. Yeah. I see. I've walked past it plenty of times.

Also, DiGiorno's sauce is kind of spicy. I might fuck around and get a DiGiorno after this. David, you can put a bunch of shit on it after you cook it. I'll tell you, your boy Zach is a wild man with a frozen pizza. I've seen him get a jalapeno, cut it up, put it on the fucking pizza, and then put it in the oven. He will put Zan Cal chicken garlic butter on the bottom of it. Dude, for real. put it in the oven we'll put zankow chicken garlic butter on the bottom he dude yeah he's

for real he really he like garlic dusted the bottom of the pizza and you're like dog is it okay to go to sleep with you in the house you know no except he's on our side so yeah yeah thank god thank gosh actually thank gersh yeah i'm a dijono guy what are you talking i like the trainer joe's brand i guess i. I don't know. I can't really. I like it thin. I like it thin. Yeah, sometimes when it's thick, it's a little too. You like a thin crust?

On a bake at home one, yeah. I want it as thin as possible. Nope. I don't like a thick one at a bake at home. Canceled. Well, I'll come back. I'll become a Republican podcaster. Come back better than ever.

Yeah, so that's it. That's the last question. This is an AFE mailbag. back better than ever. Yeah, so that's it. That's the last question. This is an AFE mailbag. Thank you for listening. Yeah, guys. Yeah. Shout out to all the usual suspects, the AFE subreddit, the old AFE Patreon, which we've talked about enough.

Shout out to Super Producer Marissa. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to fucking Saints 2 Carmel. Shout out to the plants that I'm keeping alive for right now. I'm feeling pretty good about it. We just got plants for the house up north.

That's great. Cool. Exciting. I talked about plants, all right? I covered the plants. Yeah. Looks good on you. Sean just put a hat on.

What kind of plants did you get? It doesn't matter! Yes. Yeah, dude. Yeah, man. It doesn't matter. That was awesome. That was. That was perfect. That was awesome. Thank you so much for listening. We love you so much. And more important than all of that,

tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Sha-clackity! That was a HeadGum Podcast.