All Fantasy Everything - 'Jackass' Stunts (w/ Spencer Bland)

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

No podcasters were harmed in the making of this episode.Guest:Spencer Bland (@spencerspicy)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. We'll see everything. The podcast, the fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we are drafting jackass stunts. Now that's from the television shows and the movies. Our guest today is the very funny stand-up comedian. Hello. Spencer Bland.

Yeah, it's the worst last name for a comedian. I'm sorry. It's great because you set it down here. There you go. And you come over the top on it. Even if I'm mid, I'm good. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah.

You've already defined expectations. I'm your host, Ian Spectacular. Whoa. Can we do that now? Yeah, there are no rules. Sean Fantastic. And these are my friends of comedians, Sean Fantastic and David Extravaganza. The G is not silent on that one.

Now, we should be doing the cruise ship together. That's what we should be doing. Oh, like a thunder and lightning? John Fentzke and David Extravaganza? I would buy so many Kia Sorrento. Would you guys have matching jumpsuits? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. I think contrasting jumpsuits where it's like red with yellow. And then yellow with red. Yeah, and yellow with red. Yeah, I could be yin, you could you be yang. Yeah. I don't know which one is which. I would.

It changes. It's on the day. It's like we were talking about the dicks earlier. It just changes on the. Is that true? I have no idea. I'm not. There's a third.

I didn't ask you. Isn't there a third? Yeah, yeah. Is there's a third yin yang? Is there a third yin yang? Am I wrong? There's something else, right? Hang.

I'm afraid to make a joke Dude, bring it back I'm not making it down We're trying on dangerous terrority Yeah, we are in crazy waters right now All right, I'll back up We are out to ask the deep end I think both the Philippines and China

I like claim to this ocean Okay, there's only two Now that's a current events-based joke Do you guys ever, how long until you guys knew it was Yin and not Ying Yang? Probably within the last five years Today. It's the Ying Yang Twins.

The twins are Ying-Nyes Yes That reinforced my Ying-yang Aya, yeah, yeah, yeah. Couple poets. That was just me. That wasn't the In-Yang! No, no, that was, yeah, they actually took that from you.

Yeah, they did. You're getting royalty. I've been doing that since my bar mitzvah. Where he also had his hands all on his knees and his bows on his thighs. Oh, dude. Just rip it through the door. Pitbull was there yelling menti orosa a whole time. An atheist, it turns out.

Well, I, with Fjorda, I would go see David extravaganza to do literally anything. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm a car from. Today we are drafting jackass stunts. Mm-hmm.

Now, like, it's a great topic. I can't believe we haven't done it. I was shocked, too. Are you guys wearing the same socks? Are we? We're wearing the same colors. They're adjacent. Yeah.

Same family different dad. Cream and red. This whole thing looks same family different dad. I did. When you walked in, I went, uh-oh. Yeah. I left a denim jacket out there. Yeah.

I've got an Ireland soccer jersey on. I can take it off, but then you'll see my love handles. Oh. Oh, Kevin Love handles, dude. You have Outland passes. Your bingo tummy. Bingo tummy. Yeah, you could call it that.

I... Does anybody ever grab men's love handles for love? No, no, no, I mean... Not for love. Have you guys ever been... It's sturdy, though. You know what I'm saying? No.

She used to say, you have your dad's love handles. And I was like, I don't need to know that. No. Yeah. Where was your dad? Source subject? I'm sorry. No, no, no, it's fine.

He was alive at that point, but he was... He was in Brazil. He was in Brazil. He was in Brazil. He was in Brazil. Love Handle surgery. Okay. I thought you meant he was like in the kitchen.

No, no, no, no. My mom would just be like, God damn it, Jennifer. She'd be like, you have your dad's legs. I'm like, cool. And then she'd go, and love handles. And I was like, well, that, I was like, I don't know why they call him love handles.

All they do is push it away. Yeah. Divorce handles. Yeah. You know who loves handles, Kyrie Irving. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. That's great.

Nice. Who once played with Kevin Love. And we're back. Yeah. Love and handles. Remember when that girl got, Okay, this is a terrible time to ask me. A girl got a jelly stinking.

I knew you were going to bring this up. A girl got what? It makes me think about... The first time we ever met, we were working at Dead Crow in Wilmington. And we were like, oh, let's go to the beach. And we had been there, what, all of two minutes? Yeah, and the poor... Bridget was her name?

Yeah, Bridget Callaghan. I can't remember her last movie. I don't think she does comedy anymore. But she was hosting for us and she was like, I'll take you guys to the beach. Yeah. And we literally pulled our towels down. sprinted to the water and she went, oh, I got, we got, we got, we were on, we were on some mushrooms.

We're having a good time. Oh, that's great. I got very sunburnt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a full, it was like a bucolic, loving Apollo Creed and Sylvester Stallone on the beach. Honestly, yeah. Physically, exactly like that's where I'm picturing of my head. And honestly, you're doing it right.

You're doing it right. It kind of worked out super well because we hit the water. She immediately got stung by a jellyfish. Yeah, I felt bad. I felt bad. And she was like, you guys got to pee on it. And we both were like, we've only known you for like 12 hours. Yeah.

Almost makes me think she knew there'd be a jelly case there. She was trying to see your dicks. And then she was like, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. And she just hung out on the beach. I felt bad. She'd tucked to the life card. Oh, she did. And then we were just frolicking on mushrooms.

Yeah. Then we ate a giant burger and did comedy. Oh, that's right. It was really a terrible order of things. Yeah. If only you could have done that comedy at like 11 in the morning, you know, like, knocked it out of the way. Beachtown, Beachtown's maybe. Earlier shows.

Summer's a dead crow is rough because you've been drinking at the beach all day and so has the crowd. Yeah. Summers are rough in Fargo for comedy.

I mean, they're rough. Winter's rough. Summer comedy sucks. Spring's rough. Yeah. In Fargo, it's all rough. They're a beaten people,

hardened. Michael Jordan's from Wilmington, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Is there like a, you can go see his house or anything like that? I don't think he claims it like that. No.

More so, that's like the, that's U and C. He claims. Yeah, I feel like he goes Chapel Hill. You go to Chapel Hill and it's, he's everywhere. Michael Jordan and Tucker Max. Is he a Chapel Hill fellow? Is he from Wilmington? I thought he went to Duke, didn't he?

Yeah. Did he? I thought he was in, I thought he was a Chapel Hill guy. He's got Duke vibes. That's how it feels. Yeah. Oh, man, I'm not reading that book in high school. I'm just showcasing that I've been reading for a long time.

Honestly, that was Andrew Tate before Andrew Tate, I think. Yeah. Yeah. If we would have just maintained the Tucker Max of it all, we'd be in a much better place. Yeah, I think so. He wasn't as bad. Yeah, he wasn't. Don't quote me on that.

I haven't read the book in a long time. Don't think he was. It's hard to get worse than Andrew T. Is it? I hope they serve beer in hell? Yeah, that's right. Don't worry. They made a movie, too.

Did they really? Okay. Hey, where does Michael Jordan live now? I bet South Beach, if I had to guess. Oh, he's not in Chicago. I thought he lived in Chicago. No. He was in Charlotte for a while because he owned Hornets.

Yeah, and then he got pushed out of that. Yeah. He did not like him. He's routinely for sale in Chicago. It's a text. It's in Highland Park, but it's got like the number. 23 on the gates. It is very close to a mall.

You, if you had $20 million, I'd like the house, would love it. Sounds about right. I do feel like perfect world, you do end up living in a 90s icon's house. It does make sense.

If your money goes the way I think that it deserves to, I think you end up like... Get your money up and you can be living... It's going to be... In Tony Hawks extended back in. I think it's going to be in the British Divinian Complex. In Waco? I'm trying to think of a 90s icon that lived in Portland

Art Alexakis from Everclear Oh yeah Sean Clide Rexon lives in Bonzie Wells House I was talking about Bonzie Wells this morning Really? Yeah Dana was sick of it again I was like shut up

I don't care about history Unless the history I'm going to leave for the weekend She commented on the reel today She goes I think Sean's called me big dog at least five times. I can picture of being like, what's up, big dog?

I call her D-Money too. You say D-Bone too. Those are all big guy names that I call her. That is crazy. You call his wife Fat Guy name. I don't really know. I think that's feminist. I think so.

She seems to like it. Yeah, she likes you. If she likes someone, I think you can kind of be okay with you calling him anything. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's kind of work. Are we going to allow CKY?

We were having an accord earlier. I don't think so. If you get into CKY, then you kind of allow Big Brother, so I'm just wondering. So let's talk about the origins of Jackass. Can't kill you. I'm pointing to you in my band of God over here. That hurts, actually. I don't mind.

If you're watching on YouTube, you understand what's happening here? If not, I'm pointing at him with my pinky. You've got a very aggressive pinky. I often wear a ring on it. This is Alec Baldwin. in The Departed. That's how I picture this. Frank Lazio. The Jackass was a television show

originally on music television. And then before it became... It's like saying CD-ROM. That's right. Before it became several movies. Four? I don't know. Was this?

But there's like there's TV specials, there's offshoots. There was like a 2.5. I watched Jackass Forever last night. Yeah. When I was vegin, dude. The one that starts with... I don't think anyone's going to...

It starts pretty aggressive, right? Yeah, don't say it. Yeah, okay. It'll come up. But it came from... John's like, that's my number one. Big Brother magazine. Came from Big Brother.

She's a skateboarding magazine. Correct. Jeff Tremaine used to run. And they would put out like tapes that had skating and pregnant, like boob and poop, right? Shit boob and poop. Isn't that when Johnny Knoxville got himself shot in the stomach or shot himself in the stomach? He shot himself and it was shit, boob poop and number two. Am I making it up?

Yeah, that sounds right. Well, two of those are the same thing. I know, but I can't remember. I thought there was one called number two and then another one called shit. The poop, boob is poop upside down, which was great about boob and poop. God, I love calculators. Bring back the T-A-83, man. He did in Big Brother magazine, he did his Johnny Knoxville's guide to self-defense or whatever.

And then they put that in, that was they put that in shit. Because he wanted him to film it. Because I think Johnny Knoxville took it to him as an article. He was like, I want to test these non-lethal things you can buy. And Tremaine was like, you got to film this. Yeah. Bought the best. And then they went out and there's footage of it where,

figure who they're with. It might be Tremaine, but he's like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. They're on their way out, and Knoxville's like, we're doing it. He goes, I really don't, begging him. And then Knoxville just got out and did it,

and he's like, holy shit, I'm okay. And it was almost, the bullet was almost through. Yeah, it really was. It was that. I think that makes a star a career. It was. Yeah, and he. So Tremaine and Knoxville were a big brother.

Who else was a big brother? Rick Kosick and Dimitrily Ascovich. Not Aaron McGintry, but the other guy, Dave England was a big. Dave England. Yeah, Chris Daughtry. Yeah. Chris Daughtry. I'm just saying that stuff.

You're just saying white dude names. Honestly, you'd be like 50% right. Bill Wolfowitz. Yeah. But then I think they saw CK.O. Who? That Novak guy. Yeah.

Where was Aaron McGee? I know he lived in Portland. Was he just like a skateboard game? That's Dangerer. He was like a stunt guy, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think, I don't think danger was involved with Big Brother.

I think that was. before his time. Okay, yeah. I think he was mainly a jackass. And then there was CKY. But they were doing their own thing separately. Kill yourself. Yeah.

That's in Philadelphia, right? Westchester, Pennsylvania. Okay, yeah. And CKY's a band. That's Bam's older brother. Yeah, Jess Margeron, his band. And then they did Landspeed Wheels did a video. Yeah.

Which is a wheel company. And they called that CKY. They did two of those, CKY and CKY 2K. Then they just joined up and they all did Jackass, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Tremaine, I think, what I remember is like, or what I read.

is he saw CKY2K and was like, there's an industry here. Yeah, yeah. Friend of the show, Lance bangs, barfing all over Jackass. All over the ball and fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, they, uh, I was telling Sean earlier,

but I went to the New Beverly and watch Jackass one and two on film with a friend like a few weeks ago. Amazing. Oh, we were next door eating. Oh, sure. Yeah, we were. Yeah, we ran into Lance. Yeah, because Lance was there, Tremaine.

He walked into cats. Because when, uh, canters. When Lance walked in, everyone started going, And he almost did. Oh, all right. Shout on to Lance. Yeah, yeah. I don't think we, I don't think I ordered the pastrami.

What did we get? We were getting, somebody got. We got lotcas. You got lotcas for the table. I got lotcas for the table. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.

pancakes for the table. I haven't heard that in a while. And then, so then Jackass was born out of that. Yeah, 2000. You know, CK. Y2K was everywhere when I was in high school. Dude, that's, that was my, that was my intro to, Jackass. Because I was hanging out

at skate shops and they had it on VHS. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, that's a cool cover because it's Bam plunging his dad's face.

Yeah. And I was like, we've all wanted to do that. And it had that 96 quite Bader Bean's song. Arguably the song Oh, it hits, dude. Yeah.

Still good. I had the look to see which some of the things I thought of, I was like, was that Jackass or was that CKY? Some of them were CKY. That's what I was asking. Did you also have some of it?

I had some of that with the stebo. Do you remember Steveo had like two of his own thing? In the XYZ video, Steveo, where he, they found him at the X, on tour in Arizona, I think. Yeah, he was like a circus clown or something. And he would do his backflips. That was his thing in the beginning. A lot of guys really parlayed back flipping into a whole life for the last. Yeah.

Benson Boone. Yeah. And he's going to be in Jackass 5. He will be in Jackass 5. Yeah. If you weren't there, so if we have some younger listeners, it's hard to over emphasize how big Jackass was with dudes especially.

Dudes of every gender, but dudes. It was immediately some shit people were doing. Yeah. Like it was like, it was like, don't do this. Yes. And then everybody was, yeah, you can't tell. Like, I was a 10 year old Lashki kid.

And you're like, hey, don't do this. You're like, well, I don't have parental supervision until 6 p.m. And I have a shopping cart. Yeah. Oh, dude, I'm technically not allowed of the Home Depot in my old neighborhood. It was so accessible. I don't know what it looks like now.

Yeah. I mean you could get in now. I bet you can be like. Some security guard in the back just turn, his head turns when you walk in. The old guy. He hits a cigarette. Yeah. The day is finally here. He's back.

He's like, I've been saving the cart for you. Oh, wow. Yeah, anyone could grab a shopping cart. Yeah. Anyone could do, I mean, it was. Any number, all of their stunts had that DIY aesthetic to him. Yeah. I can't wait to talk about some of these.

I'm biting my tongue so hard right now. I'm like, don't say it. Don't say it. There was a group of dudes in my high school who called themselves the Mesh Hat clan. Dude. Who were. who skated and then did jackass level shit to each other and taped it on like camcorders

I was in high school with this stuff like I saw I think I saw some of it but they didn't like have screenings yeah they would just do it for the art you had to like know a guy me they were just doing it for the art so they could watch it at their mom's house probably you didn't laugh I remember filming it I had a I had a I was it the Canon GL2

and me and my buddy we would we would do really bad pop shove it's on our drive way. Yeah. Maybe a couple of alleys. Maybe one guy would hit a kickflip and then we'd just go do grocery carts in the Kroger parking lot of the thing is on each other. Some of it's, a lot of that is easier to do than skateboarding.

Oh, for sure. And we weren't good at skating. It's just the falling part. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We'd like bomb hills on like loose trucks. Just like, oh, you're going to fall. We had full-on premieres.

We'd rent movie theaters out and premiere our videos. For hundreds of people. How old were you? 20. Okay. 20. So we were eight different. 20, 23, probably.

You called yourselves the tough customers. Yeah, that's kind of sick. Yeah, we left clan out of our name. You were an independent guy. I think it was more of a Ninja Turtles clan. Just the play of them. Like a foot clan, not a... It was a multiracial group of children.

Hurting each other. On the streets of Sioux Falls. This was Beaverton, Orange. Oh, okay, gotcha, got you. We were the tough customers and the perverts. Those were our... The perverts. Those two rivaling gangs.

Wait, they were rivals? Was Verts? Was Verts? Like, like, like, they never heard from the pervert? We were cool. We were cool. We all let her ride. I think I'm afraid of you.

I'm a pervert. And they are too. A lot of us, a lot of us jump ship. This is tough customers territory. We started the tough customers and some lingering perverts didn't come with us. Some lingering perverts. That was the offshoot.

Yeah. The perverts clan. Perverts. That's crazy, dude. So wait, but there was beef between the perverts. I mean, we were all still best friends, but we would wear the perverts had their shirts. Whoa, dude. Yeah, what was on their shirt?

Describe this for the last. Big open but holes. No, I just said perverts real big on their shirt. And we had tough customer jackets. And the Twin City sat, which was great. And the D.C. How many? How many crew jackets have you had in the way?

It's more than, it's like more than three. It's so many. I think it's more than all three of us could buy. Yeah, for sure. I had one, a letterman jacket for football. Does AFE clothing count? No, that's not a jacket. That's crude shit.

I mean, I've only had two tough customer jackets probably. Well, two tough customer jacket and then your karate jacket. Oh, yeah. That's right. my Miss Taekwondo Jacket. Excuse me. And then my take off

my pants and jacket, CD. Does that count? That counts. Yeah, that counts. But you wore that as a medallion. Yeah. I wore it as a lot.

You had a chain, like flavor of flave. Medallion. That's crazy, man. The guy who has had several crew jackets as Sean Cougar melland Jordan on Instagram. Where can be able to see you?

A forthcoming cruise ship? I don't have the date yet, but if you feel like hopping on. I seize. Hop on that Patreon. Why don't you? We're talking 10. seven years of footage of stuff.

We're on there talking turkey, folks. It's seriously, it's our, I mean, it's like a whole other catalog of this. So hop on there. It really is. It's, let me come up. Let me cut you off. If we have, here, let me finish. We gently place my hand on your phone. I don't cut you off. It feels all right. I have the tender touch of a lover. We might have tour dates by now. So we'll go on and we'll say that at the top of

this if we do. We drop this. Huge venue. Doing some live shows? Hey, really. We're doing some live shows, but they came back to us. They tried to break us off with like stadiums. They want us to play the Meadowland. What we have...

That's sick. We have a wonderful group of people who listen to us who have been with us for like nine on a decade, any of them, who roll deep, but it's a deep crew, not such a wide crew. I mean, you could all tell a friend. There's fat guys for sure. Actually, it is a very wide crew for that aspect. But it's... We're not like kill Tony. You know what I mean?

Or whatever. I think that's a good thing. Vibwise. Vibwise. The exact same. Shut up. Well, that's why you guys booked me. Is that what they talk about?

What a dumb minute. They say, shut up, right? Yeah. Yeah. And that's all they say. That's the only words they say. You're bad at stand-up. You couldn't get me out of my seat in a minute.

You're ugly. God. You stink. I'm glad your dad's dead. Go take a shower, stink, boy. Stink boy. That sounds like I might have knew a kid named Stinkboy. Should we start an open mic?

Is that what you were going to? I'd never go to Isaac you a minute Do you a minute Do you a standout Right now? Do a poem Okay

Okay I will Do it Right now? Right now Roses are red Violets are blue There's two kind of black people

Isaac is dank Let's start a new group There we go We're relaxed He was watching it on YouTube For some reason Right now Oh my god

Man this podcast sucks I'm gonna watch Chris Rock So you guys Do you guys do like a house show Is that what it sounds like? No no Do an actual venue. We've toured before, but we do like, you know, 500-seaters, not like three times

that, which is what we were being pitched. You're talking to someone who's trying to go on tour right now, and I can't even get places to email me back. That sounds awesome. Yeah. Come with. It'll be great. I've been there.

Yeah. It's, yeah, dude. I mean, email on clubs are like, hey, I've got a Tuesday and I'll do it for free. And they're like, yeah, no, thank you. You're like, what if I give you someone? Literally, dude. We have to turn the lights on. Yeah.

I'll wash the dishes. I was like, can I just hang out in the parking lot and open the of my Subaru Outback. No, send us a picture of you. Yeah, dude, I got an Outback one. Oh, good for you. Oh, so things are looking up. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I see commercials, people live in those things. I'm, I figured out how to lay the seats down. Actually, I go up to Mammoth and I hit a little snowboard because I got the icon pass. Oh. Now, do you know who did the Instagram ad for the icon pass last two years running? Your boy. Really?

Whoa, dude. That's sick. I had no idea. That's me. I'm going to hit you up next year. I'm going to tell a little bit of discraft. He travels in a different kind of white pattern. these days.

Let's go snowboarding with you. I'll go up to a mammoth. I'll go up to Mammoth. I sleep in the car. I should not be doing this at 36 years old, but I love snowboard. You're electric blanket. You have a cordless electric blanket. You got a little bad. That's what got a little battery. That's what got him. Yeah. I didn't know the driving five hours in the middle of the night.

Not the sleeping in your car. Chaw's like, yeah, I do that all the time. A cordless electric blankets live in. I think he's calling you a wish. I didn't know you had to bring a Jenny with it. When you sleep in your car to snowboard? What do you call a bro-madland? He's a good. No, but I'm going to start doing that.

I'm going to tell you, I'll give you credit when that blows up. Thank you very much. Are you a snow ring when you sleep? Oh, man. Oh, right. We'll table that one. And my voice cracks saying that too, so. You should quit comedy.

Stink boy over here. You're a butt-ugly. Lunatic. Yeah. Feels like they never started comedy. Chris Paul. I don't think Chris Paul is attractive. Crazy.

I got to be honest. You're not got to really try to figure out what Chris Paul looks like. It's another North Carolina legend. Have you ever looked at a dump after you? Wake Forest, right? He's the guy that that punch that dude in the balls, right?

Yeah, he did that. That's my green. No, no, no, they both didn't hit. I think Chris Paul punched a guy in the ball. A lot of guys punched the guy in the NBA tournament. He played for Wake Forest. I'm pretty sure. He did it over week.

See, I, I'm a college basketball guy, and then NBA, the Hornets have been so bad for so long that I just, I have to tune it out. That's tough. Things are looking up. Because how old are you? I'm 36.

Okay, so at least you were there when they were, I got to see a little bit, yeah. I got, like, Lonsomemore. You got the hottest jerseys out? Space Jam was sick for us. I got to tell you, dude, I had a really sick starters jacket in college. I also had a Hornet Starter Jacket. I just gave it to a friend. I had four.

You had four? That's, see, dude, that's- He stole them all. I didn't. I couldn't steal starter jackets. They were too hard to steal. They had the tags on them. Got them with stolen, with money from selling stolen stuff.

I'll tell you that. I've got my hornet's hat from when I was a kid, which shows how fucking big my head was the kid. I tell you, I love a kid with a huge head. Dude, did he also have to. Big dome, my son. Did you guys have to get a special helmet for football? Yes. Yeah.

They were literally handed out how much. My coach would go, yours will be here in about a week. Were you a ringer? Did they, we had people, they put the ring around the helmet. No, they didn't care of my brain health. They sent me Orlando Pace's old helmet. Hey man, how come there's no more dudes named Orlando? I don't know.

I wish they were. Did I tell you? Those guys are gone? You're going to have kids? No, my wife won. My wife won't. Orlando, boy. Everything comes back.

Isaac, you're name your kid Orlando? I can. Orlando K. Lee? Honestly? Landol Lee. That's a poet's name. Orlando K. Lee. It is.

We've talked about this because Lando Calarizian, that's Orlando Calrissian. That's a different fucking dude. That's a jazz fusion keyboard player. That is, yeah. He's the blue note. Did I ever tell you guys this? I went to high school with a kid named Orlando. Found out after high school a few years later saw him working at a Verizon's score.

His name was not his name. His name was not Orlando. Dude, shout out to him for just calling a shot then. I'm not going to air him out. I'm talking to say his. real name, but it wasn't Orlando. I'll tell you that. Was it a real person?

I feel bad. Come on par with Keith. I can tell us and Isaac and blah. His real name's he went. Which I think might be you can't make that move. You're not, you don't have the fucking power.

Let me just say something here. He went, what? Let me just say something here. What? God bless him. I think you're doing the opposite of airing him out. I think you're bigging him up. Now David says you can't do that and he might be right.

You're going to go from to Orlando? No, no, he went from Orlando. So he went from Orlando to . Wait, his real name's Orlando? No, his real name's . He told us in high school his name was Orlando.

So we operated thinking we were with an Orlando for years. Saw him later to Verizon store working. Well, which is the real name? Are you sure? Har you got a yearbook? You got a yearbooking pull up? I am not sure. I never thought about that.

So you're posing that he lied about his name to get a job at Verizon. However, Orlando is a totally different person. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What if it was a first name, middle name? name thing where his middle name was Orlando. That could be. I do that. One of my

best friends in high school. Also, very similar to the Yeah, he's probably about 48. I doubt I doubt all these got bleep. So if, hit me up, let me know. Should I just keep it all in? Yeah, you can keep it. Orlando. Orlando, if you'll hear this get him a discount. I fucking love the move, dude. I love being like, you know what? I'm going by Orlando for these next four years. Do you just make your lips shiny? I had a thing. Yeah. No?

He's got some filler over here real quick. They're shiny. They're looking beautiful in this life. I didn't do anything. You're touching his stomach. You're making your lips shiny. What's going on over here? David Boris here as well.

This is fucked. You look sexy. This is crazy. You don't look sexy. I love you. You don't look sexy. Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram. Glisten up, everybody.

Listen up. What can people see you? Sorry, where can people see? We'd like some of you. listeners to show up to these shows. Oh, my God. It's going to be moistly a good time when we're out there on the road.

You're on fire. Does anybody see him just? Dude, he just did like three for three off the rim. That's crazy. I put on some Blistex Medicaid movement. Yeah. Yeah, I did. All right?

Let a man get shiny. Oh, I love it. You want to lick it off? Is that what you just said? Tempting. Go ahead, Cal. I even like it, Isaac's sexual, and he's still throwing his brow at me. You can watch Sean lick it off on the Patreon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there you go, sign up, 701 videos. 701 with a bullet, baby. This one's why, you got to watch on those meta glasses, though. You give us 100 extra bucks, you can watch them lick it on. Oh. Where can people see you, do you know? It's far in the future.

I don't even know what day it is. Yeah, what is this coming? April 2nd. Oh, hell, yeah. Oh, man. April, no, I still don't have anything. Me neither. Spencer?

Let's see. In April, yeah, I'm going to be driving across the country in my Subaru Outback. I'll be in Denver for a little bit. The big show, though, I'm going back. I'm headlining the main room at Goodnights Comedy Club. Let's go. Yeah, April 29th.

Yeah. Which is a Wednesday. And where's good nights? My hometown, Raleigh, North Carolina. There is. Yeah. Yeah. Not to be confused with rallies.

No. Or as Chad Ocho Cinco says, Ralea. Ralea. Is that how he said? He said Ralea on a podcast. And honestly, pretty funny because we have a theater downtown called the Rialto. Yeah. I guess Chad Ocho Sinko came to town for like a concert.

This is how small town Rale is. And they put, welcome to Ralea Ocho Sinko. And then he went and took a picture in front of it. Hell yeah. Who's the most famous Raleighites? Evan Rachel Wood, probably. Oh. Look at that.

A little white oleander? Probably Michael C. Michael C. Hall. He actually went to the private school that I used to get kicked out of for skating. I live right across the street from it. Fuck him. Yeah. Pistol Pete Marevich?

Yeah. Pistol Pete Marevich is from Rale? I mean, when I was there. John Wall? John Wall? You got the big hitters. John Wall kicked my ass in basketball in high school. Well, yeah. I'm on John Wall's highlight reel.

Hunter Schaefer from a... Are you really? I've never met somebody on the other side of a high school. highlight real. Yeah, dude, John Wall, he played for Word of God, and I played for St. David's, and they must have felt like the word of God coming down the pole. They beat the shit out of us. Yeah. Damn, and you made the real. I made the real, dude. Is he Duncan on you? I think so. This was, this was like almost 20 years ago. Did you do the doggie afterwards? Oh, man. I only played one season. I'm not a basketball guy. The coach was just like, you're tall.

Yeah, I think John Wall would make me quit basketball too. I just, I wasn't a good basketball player. This was when JJ Redick was lightened it up at Duke, and I was like, just give me the ball on the Mark. Yeah. And my coach was like, you got to get in the, he's like, you're six, four, get in the paint. You know what? Kirk Heinrich, I might think. I was mixed up Redick and Heinrich.

Yeah, you're thinking of Heinrich. I went to the Bull Durham. I went to the Bull Durham bar when I was in Raleigh, where they meet. That's a solid spot. Went to a lot, had a lot of fun dates there. Yeah. But the most important date, April 29th, the good nights. Yeah.

It says here, Amy Sedaris. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Amy and David are from there. But they moved there, they moved there like in the middle of their childhood. Okay. But their dad owns a plumbing service called Sedaris Plumming. Holidays on ice.

Wow. It's very fun. I feel like a Sedaris plumbing t-shirt is a good thing. I have one. It goes pretty hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a fun hand-drawn logo. You fucking Mr. Raleigh.

Dude, I got to say, great burgers. Miss it, miss it deeply, but glad we've gotten out. But it's a cool, it's probably the same way you feel about Sioux Falls. I think the way anybody feels about their hometown, you know?

Clay Aiken. Clay Aiken. He was my YMCA counselor. Whoa. Young man. That's the thing. Ralee's not big. Like,

it's like the metro area now is like barely over a million. but like in the 90s and early 2000s, it was like a 300,000 person town. Okay. It just got big because all the tech companies are like, oh, a tiny town where we don't have to pay taxes, let's do that.

Okay, okay. I mean, it's quite the, it's really punching above its weight class. I fully agree, man, yeah. Yeah. It's a good place to live. It's a comfortable place to live. If you look up the same like notable citizens

for Sioux Falls South Dakota, for example, it's just a bunch of toilets full of poop. February Jones. That's right. January Jones. April Jones from Sioux Falls proper. Out of Venetary. I believe from Sioux Falls proper.

We have to expand to the state. The perverts. The perverts. Born in Sioux Falls. I wasn't in Sioux Falls, but I went and got a really good burger. What is it? Nix. It's like, where's, it's like South Dakota State University.

It's like right out. Oh, Brookings. Yeah, I went to Brookings. I saw a house on fire. Jack rabbits, yeah. Yeah, the Jack Rabbits, yeah. That was a cool spot. It's, you know.

I had a drive through a snow. Nostorm in my Dodge Neon. They canceled my flight at a Sioux Falls and I had a No, Joe Foss, did you dirty? Yeah. I had a connecting flight in Chicago and I said, can I take my rental car to Chicago? And they went, if you can make it. And I left my hotel at like 1 o'clock in the morning after my show and just

I love that. She lined it. Yeah, they're just like, yeah, go for it. Oh, it was great. We'll see what time it is. Ripping parliaments, you know, just having a good time. Yeah. Skidding out on the highway.

Had no idea where I was. I pulled that e-break. Oh, yeah. Huh? Nothing. Didn't do you. No. No.

Got close. Who's kidding out? But no, yeah, follow me, Spencer Spicey on Instagram. There it is. I'll have my dates on there. But yeah, most important, going to good nights. Headline in the hometown club. Let's do it.

I mean, Carmel, I have nothing to promote. Go to our Patreon for like the price of a cup of coffee, truly. There's, I mean, I used to be a member. I don't even know if I want a green digging into those plates. I mean, I don't know if I can get sentimental on here, but this is kind of cool for me because, like, before I took comedy seriously, I remember a buddy of mine were driving to a, a music festival in O'Clair, Wisconsin. I dropped him off in Chicago to catch a flight back

to New York and he went, hey dude, you should check out this podcast called All Fantasy Everything. Really? This was 2015. He went specifically the episodes with Sean Jordan and David Bory. This was when you were just doing it by yourself, I think. And I listened to like five of the episodes and I was like, this is fucking hilarious. Man, local

boy done good. Yeah. And then I started doing nice... And then you and David Bore were peeing on somebody again. I'm not glad that was also, it's cool now that we're like peers if I can say that. Beers? Peers? You can't say that.

Yeah, we're not... Peers, yeah. With a little M-Dash. Yeah, but no, it's cool, man. When you text me, I literally like texted two of my friends and I was like, this is fucking sick. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you.

Thank you guys. This is awesome. I love hearing that. Shut up the mics. Yeah. Also, do you remember we had a really good burger? That place is still there and still rip. I think about it sometimes.

And I like that. Yeah. We should all go to Wilmington. It's a fun. I would love to go to Wilmington. Also, somebody won't respond to my emails, but that's okay. Hey, I've never been back. If they have a 1500 seat venue, maybe we can make it.

I actually have a really awesome theater there. Not at Dead Crow, but in the city. I know way too much about North Carolina. Not at all. No, no, no, no. I know the amount I know about Portland eclipses. I'm a good. Ten times what Sean does.

Love a burger, love a hot dog. He knows way more than he should. Ooh, yeah. That's what I do. Whenever I go somewhere new, I say, where's the best burger? Yeah. Because it's something good. Falls are like the Nazi bar.

I don't know. Literally. What do you think is the best burger in Portland? Best burger in Portland? You're asking me to be picky. When I'm not, I think a killer burger is the best burger in court. Wrong. I like a killer burger, man.

What is the best burger? It's a hellvacia tavern. Okay, that sounds cool. Yeah. I had a really good breakfast in the country. It fucking watches killer burger. Yeah. The best places are hole in the walls in the middle of nowhere.

It's a tavern next to a goat field. Yeah. I like scovones. Scyvones is also good. Cibon's is on point. I like Sanibon's. I like San Francisco. I feel like I always go with Sean.

That sounds like something that a Brooklyn old man would yell. It's ah, scovone. Scavone. His neighborhood was great until all the scovones. All these scovones. The foie huger were got scovones. I like to eat my scovones with jam. Scovones with clotted cream the way you're supposed to.

Back when men were men. Clotted cream is like, it's just like, I don't know, it's like a lumpy cream. It's not. Oh. It's like, it's a sort of a sweet cream. You're learning something new on this podcast. And that's what you're here for. Lumpy cream.

Sort of a, it's not even that lumpy, really. It's just sort of like, is it sweet. It's clotted. It's like a sweet, it's like a sweet, it's a slightly sweet, sour cream is what I'll call it. Yeah. I'm a big. All right. Next episode, let's have some.

Let's have some scovones and clodon. We're trapped in types of cream. Yeah. Strapting types of cream. The kind that rules everything around me. I don't, like. Are you going to say you're not a food guy? He doesn't even like wet.

He doesn't like wet. I like food, but I don't, you know, people ask where to go in Portland. I don't know. I like food too much. I love food. I had a whole pizza last night. I'm saying I'm not a destination.

It wasn't like a great pizza. It was a red bearing. It was a frozen pizza, yeah. Sean is like a unitarian church when it comes to food. Except for seafood. He lets everybody inside. I mean, I wouldn't like seafood either if I was from a landlock state. Yeah.

Yeah. I wonder if that's it. I mean, Wall Lake, Lake, Lake, Hawaii, Lake Alvin. I wouldn't say it's landlocked. You know, there's a lot of. It's not like you like the Yeah, it's coming up from below. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I'm just not picky with food. I don't, it all is fine with food. Well, you aren't picky with food. You are pretty good. Actually, you're the most picky with food. Okay, what should I say? I've been with you guys to some of the nicest places, Peter Lugers, for example.

I didn't really even care. I could have had a burrito from a truck. Steakhouses, you're going for the ambiance and the experience. Anyone can, well, not anyone. But you can cook a steak. Like, I ever Sunday, I grill a steak. Yeah. It's my favorite thing.

It's going to kill me. for sure. Is that your church? Yeah, I think so. I even went out and bought a grill. I went to, oh man, what's the hardware store over in Silver Lake? Ballers? Baller hardware, yeah. And I had a panic attack in that parking lot,

and then I went home and grilled a steak for me. Why did you have a panic attack? Unrelated? Oh, no, just a steak based? It was not steak based. You run over a guy or was parking space. Oh, yeah, yeah. This guy, the parking lot was full. This guy got in his car and just sat there.

Oof. I know, I, and I was like, my guy, you got to move. I've been in the gallery of parking lot and kind of trying to, almost like being like, it's all good, bud, like rubbed his shoulder. I'm doing the thing now. I'm a fucking spot, dog. Yeah, dude.

Yeah. I've only been here for eight months and I'll do a thing where if I go somewhere and I can't find parking, I'd just go home. Yeah, I've done it. If someone's in their car, you can give him a little tap. I gave him a little tap. He was on the window with your wedding ring. He was just locked in on his phone. I gave him a little two.

And my girlfriend was like, don't do that. Don't do that. Just catching up on the fucking news. Literally. You're having a conversation with your car on. Here's my thing. Now, if you don't turn your car on, then I don't really expect you to. Sometimes people are going to their car for something reason.

For a reason, if you turn your car on, that's the cue of you saying, all right, I'm ready to get out of here. If your brake lights are on, so don't touch your brakes or anything. If you're going to sit there, sit there, and that's fine. You've better gotten a silver alert that pertains to you specifically. If you're sitting in the car that long. Well, if someone's on break, they work at Target. They're on break in their car reading. I'm saying with the lights on.

You're on, you're on down set. Say hike. We got to go. It blows my mind. Yeah, it's very frustrating. So I was just freaking out. And also, I, you know, just happened a bad day. I've had, I've had a proposal that I've kicked around for a while.

And if I ever get political office, I will try to get into law. I think every person should get five stickers. Okay. Five stickers a year, all right? And you can shoot, you have like a whole paintball gun or whatever. And you have your five stickers for the year. You don't get any more after your five. Okay.

And if you see someone driving so badly or, like, sitting in a parking lot, you can shoot them with your little sticker, right? And if you get over 12 stickers in a year, your license is suspended. So these stickers just stay on in person, yeah. They stay on the car. What does the stickers say? It's like a government-based sticker.

It says, I blew it. I blew it. I blew it, a Joe's crab show. I feel like if you blow it once a month, you don't deserve to have a license anymore. If you're driving that poorly. Now, be honest here. Let's use a lot of people in L.A.

would not have licenses. on a skateboarding Self-inflicted wound Yeah That's what I would have Do if I get busted Do I'm a hypocrite But you get it back

Or maybe it's suspended for a month Yeah And then you get it back How about you just retake the test Do you have to wear the stickers Like the scarlet letter? I think they should go on your car Oh okay

That's the opposite Although then you see someone with 11 stickers And if you're just in a bad mood You're like fuck you do That's how it was when you would see Those pancake stickers Yeah Were the pancake stickers

Oh like when some teams they gave kids stickers for every pancakes and you'd be like, that guy has, that guy has got 40 on there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that like the buck guys for four? Let's go tango. Yeah.

I want to run a stunt. No. We didn't get stickers. Man, really? Yeah. I don't think they're trying to advertise that they're pushing people to lay people out. They don't talk about what society took from us. Because that was, that's a good look, a roughed up helmet with a bunch of stickers on it.

Oh, man. Those are with a visor? Dude. But people like Isaac don't want us to shine. That's fair. Of course not. I want you dull. Poets.

There he goes. I want you dull. Tell me that didn't hurt. I don't like your joke. I want any of his arms crossed. I want you dull. My arms are crossed because it's cold in here. Is cold?

I run cold. I'm hot as hell. Have you thought about getting fat? Because you're always hot. I genuinely think it's because I lost weight that I'm cold all the time. I did. I lost 70 pounds and I was like, dang, I'm cold all the time. All the time.

A lot of us lost weight. And then I fell back in love and I gained most of it back. Hey. I like that love way. I like that. By the way, Newcastle are up too, no.

Yeah. You know you look great. I appreciate it. Yeah. Still like to, still would like to work on it, you know? Absolutely,

for sure. Hey, I built a gym in my garage come work out. A couple weeks ago, I caught myself with a duble chin sitting like this.

And I had a... Were you sitting like this? I was. And I was, and my beard was all like Wado from Star Wars. So yeah. But I caught yourself,

do you mean like you were looking at yourself and I'm here? No, I was watching the footage. I was watching this. And I just caught myself looking bad, you know, so. Well, you look great.

Catching your face looking at yourself. Oh, it's bad. That's as bad as seeing yourself jerking off. I think that Apple is in league with the government to have that happen randomly every so often to keep us from joining together in an overturning society. We have low self-esteem. That's working. Yeah. Or they're secretly paying my girlfriend to put really ugly pictures of me on her stories that make me feel bad.

She's doing that to keep you close. She's doing that to keep you close for sure. Nobody talks about the flip side of it, where guys will catch so much flack for posting, like, a picture of your girlfriend where you think she looks beautiful. And she's like, oh, my hair or whatever. Take that down. But they look angelic. They look angelic. And then they'll post a picture.

My wife the other day. My balls out. My balls out. I don't get a... Popping a nut on Maine? I look like a Jewish stereo. I look like a caricature from the 30s in this picture where I was like holding my son, but it was like from a downward. Like, it was like from behind my ear up angle.

You look like propaganda. My nose looked big. and hooked. And like I looked like a goblin. I looked like propaganda. Oh my God. You just hold a bunch of bank statements? The father's, there was the Valentine's Day picture. Oh my gosh. And you have to share it. Well, she didn't grid. She storied. So I think there was part of her that knew. She was like, I got to get this one off.

Arthur looks great. But I think, in every picture. That's the beauty of a lover, though, is they see those photos and they don't look at it. That's your internal. That's right. Because I don't believe that. They also don't want us to shine in the. They don't. That's how I feel. They don't want one of their friends to be like, ooh, if that divorce ever goes through.

Yeah, yeah. Damn, Ian's looking firme. Yeah, exactly. That's how Dana's friends talk. Firmé. All the other, all the other Ivy League guys are. Fierme and Fuerreter. Television writers.

Fribe Frieree. We went to the. That's crazy. We went to the tarpits on Sunday. And I, there's a giant mammoth culture. That's an underground fight club that you run. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He took a girlfriend. Isaac bleep this out. You weird. Thanks. Yeah. But there's a giant mammoth. And they gave the man with a butthole. And I was like, well, that's funny.

So, you know, I gave a little touch. Yeah. Because I'm tall. I can do that, you know, one of the privileges. Absolutely. And my girlfriend took a photo of me, and she just put it on her story today, which is two days later, which is a little weird. And I look the fattest have ever looked at my life. It was like, she had it on point five, but I'm on the edge of the point five.

So it stretched me out. Oh, no. Now this is no longer a butthole picture. No, no. It's a gut hole picture. I'm the butthole. Yeah. There's some of those, when you're doing stand-up photos and they put a picture up and you're like,

what are you doing? What are you doing? I don't think, I think, I think much like our significant others, stand-up photographers don't want you to shine. There's some really good ones. Shout out to like van Corona and stuff. But some of them you're like, ooh, the shadows. Throw a nipple up pick on there, you know?

I did a heated rivalry show like last month and I wore a hoodie under a hockey jersey. What is the heated rivalry? I know the show heated rivalry. It was a... Did you guys have sex? No, God, I wish. No, but it was a very horny show. It was like a fandom show that a friend Aaron Chalachian put on.

It was like her and this other comic are like doing like a heated rivalry style show. So like some people do like a PowerPoint presentation. Some people like act out. It's very, uh, it's very like variety show. Is it your material or is it based on heated rival? I just wrote 10 new minutes on heated rivalry. Oh, right. And it did pretty well.

Was it really breathy? That show's very breathy. It is very breathy. But I'm a little bisexual boy that played hockey growing up. So I was like, I can get into this. Does it feel like they got you? Sorry, what? Does it feel like they got,

got isn't the right word. Does it feel like they saw you? I feel like they definitely, gotcha. Good pivot. Good pivot. I think so. It was definitely,

it was a very, it's a very supportive crowd, you know, because it's like a fandom crowd. They're already coming there. He did rivalry. Did you feel a scene within that? I gotta be honest.

Not really. No. Look, I think the show's great. I think it's cool. It wasn't like a good show. Yeah. Like it,

oh, yeah, it was like sexy. Yeah. It was very sexy. And some of the stories it tells are good. But I think from our production value, you're like, this is kind of cheap look.

It's a soap opera. Sean, David, and I've been too busy reading to watch much movies. I watched a couple episodes. Did you watch a couple episodes? That's how I know it's so breathy. The only show I've seen is Nine of the Seven Kingdoms.

Have you all called out? We haven't finished one I got it. God. I didn't watch the Sunday night one yet. Okay. Yeah. Man. I know.

Now, I can't wait. Earlier David said Corona. Speaking of Corona. The song Corona. Oh. By the Minuteman. What a time.

A phenomenal Southern California punk band. Oh, are they? Oh, that rules. Okay. They're from Pedro, San Pedro. Oh, it's next to Long Beach. That's right. Is the Jackass theme song that

Bown-nao-na-o-na-o-o- And what we were drafting here is stunts from Jackass. Now, the way we determine the order of that draft is a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the three of you. And we throw and shoot. All right, here we go. He has everyone one again. Rock, paper, shoot.

What? That doesn't kill. He threw a rock. That was a... That was wild. I have not won a game. You didn't say scissors. Rock paper shoot.

I know. That's never happened. He threw me up because he talked to the back swings. Which may come up later. I've never won. I'm not over six. It's true. But Sean seldom wins.

And you've played a lot more often. Rock paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, David wins again. Definitely an iconic. Did you win the first one too? Holy shit. Oh, because we cancel each other. Odd man out.

David is the winner doesn't come up on you to determine the order of today's draft before you do that I will remind you it's a serpentine draft and what is that? Oh, it's breathy.

That's a great question. It's like me pointing out different constellations on a first date. That's nice. Not real? Not bad, right? Cassiopeia, there's Orion

there's the big dipper, there's the little dipper. Are you a constellation guy? No. All right. I know Cassiopeia from the movie Serendipity and then Orion and the Big and Little Dip.

Boy, Cassiopee and Serendipity back to back. That's quite a workout for the old tongue there. Yeah. It's not quite a heated rivalry level. What was this two for Tuesdays? I thought you were mispronancing Cachio Pepe. Man, I love a

Cachio pepe. Yeah, dude. You can catch me eating a one. Catchio me eating. Catch me at the pepe. It's like they made it for me. That's another name for heated rivalry. Catch me at the pepe. Catch me at the pepe.

The, uh, David, basically what it means if you pick first and the fourth or and you pick, oh shit. In the second round. There we go. Are you okay? No.

It's the blest and the box. My lips are maybe too moist. When my lips get... You're slipping all over the place. I find that when my lips get shiny, my confidence shrinks. Yeah. It's something about like you just feel like... You're just keeping it dry.

I was just in need. I'm like a, I was medically in need of some blessed X. One time I was on this thing and they put lip stuff on me and then the whole time I was like trying to touch my face to like... Yeah. I'm like a shoot. Yeah. I don't like lotions and creams on my skin.

Oh, I... That's weird. Not either. I just don't like it on my lips. I'm a creamy guy. It's a sensory thing. Laura, you know what my wife will do? She'll put the lotion on her feet before I get for a foot rub because she knows I don't like

dipping my fingers in lotion. So she'll be like, I did it for you. That's crazy. She puts the lotion on the skin. Yep. And then I'm dipping it. Like she's got like a palmer's? Sarah V.

Sarah Ravis. Oh, Sarah B. I don't know. Simba's mom. Simba's mom. Whatever that is. Is that what you do with her? Surabhi.

Surabhi. Laura What would the order of today's round thing? Laura What would the order of today's rap thing? Leu Fossa saying Laura's crazy. Laura. Just the couch.

All right. David, Spencer. Nice. Ian. Sean. Hot corner. Not in the hot corner. I don't like it. Sometimes you got to keep a hot lips.

That's rare. That is what happened. That is what happens. It's hot corner. It'll drive those lips up. Not the hot corner, but it's in the wet lip zone. I'm in the wet lip. Yeah, you don't want me on a wet lip.

I might win this one. The order is David Spencer. Senator Ian Sean, David, we're going to get to you a first pick right after the short break. Today's episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by better help. Now, if you know me, you know that I'm someone who uses therapy. I'm someone who advocates for therapy to, honestly, almost everybody I meet, whether you're somebody who is, you know, going through depression or anxiety, or you're someone who's in a great place and you just kind of want to keep that going, you know, I personally am someone who has really benefited from therapy, couples therapy,

individual therapy, whether it was when I was going through, you know, weight loss and dealing with my body issues or trying to navigate going from, you know, being a married couple with no kids to a married couple with kids and just trying to keep that positivity going in our life. I think it's a wonderful thing. And I think especially this time of year, you know, when financial situations can feel like they're tightening. You know, you've got taxes coming up. You're sort of taking stock of the year. I think therapy can be especially helpful because financial stress is something that affects,

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It was before I started writing on any TV shows or anything like that. And I had this student loan debt hanging over my head. Like not quite six figures, but like getting up to that zone. And up until that point, the most money I had. ever made in a year, I think, was like $26,000. So I had like three times more debt than I had ever made in a single year. And then you've got like, oh, I've got to pay my rent. I've got to have a car.

I've got to figure all these things out. And it seemed hopeless. It seemed like there was no way I was going to like live a single day of my life that wasn't burdened to this yoke of like financial dependence to my student loans. And, you know, this was before I'd really gotten into therapy. It had caused me a lot of anxiety. It definitely made me feel depressed. that made me feel hopeless.

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slash all fantasy. That's better h-elp.com slash all fantasy. Today's episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Factor. Now picture yourself sitting on your couch after a long, hard day of work. You're exhausted. You've been staring at computer screens all day. You've been making small talk with your coworkers. Talking about, oh, the World Cup's coming up.

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And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed. dude. David has the first pick. I'm nervous. We're drafting jackass downs from the television show and the movies. Is it because there's cops waiting to arrest you outside? That and I'm in, there's like, we said this before but there's like the first round's going to be a bloodbath.

I know. It's a fucking jungle. I just hyped to talk about these things. I, my first pick, I think that this is maybe the most copied from the beginning of jackass. This is like the first thing I saw kids doing in parking lots. It's midi-full shopping car.

Yeah. It's like that's the one. It's the most accessible thing. Kids are getting in shopping carts. It's iconic. Yeah. It was the most attainable thing too. Yeah.

I know. Grocery store GMs almost overnight. We're like, what the fuck is happening to our grocery carts? Yeah. When did that happen? What year was? 2009? 2000.

Yeah. Because I remember I turned 10. You stepped into the willenium. Yeah. Dude? Yes. I didn't graduate in high school I remember I had a I had a cousin who was like

yeah he was like y'all's he was like 18 19 he was in college don't y'all's us I'm younger than that sorry I didn't even I didn't even know I'm everyone I'm you're age 44 no I'm 38 okay I'm 40 we say I'm only only 5 3 yeah let's go we got there all right somebody as long as we got bit but I remember my cousin would come pick me up at my mom's house and we would

drive to a grocery store not near where we lived. So if we got in trouble, we don't have to go back there. Oh, smart. Yeah, and we would do grocery pranks. Yeah. They don't have metal shopping carts a lot of places now. They got that plastic shit. They also like lock up if you take it.

Yeah, they bury the strip at the edge of the parking lot. And if you take it out of the parking lot, you can't use it anymore. The Whole Food 365 near my house, it fucking locks up within the park. So there's a whole food and then there's a CVS and there's a few other stores sprinkled in there. And it locks up if you go to. too close to the CVS, it's Michigan. It's ridiculous.

This is America. We should be able to take shopping carts where we want. Where we want to. Yom get. You every grocery store, you know what? Chalk it up, by the way. It's spillage.

If somebody needs to live in it, spillage. I don't think we try to be $4 for an avocado. I think we should have standard shopping carts. I don't like proprietary shopping carts. And then fuck this red shit, Target. I think if we had just give me the chrome.

I think if we had non-proprietary shopping carts every store would reach in equilibrium. I agree. They would get as much as they gave. Like trays at a food court. Or like pitchers in New Orleans. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You take it out of this bar, you walk into this bar, you give it back.

And they're fine with it. And they're on a text thread like, hey, we're like six heavy on pitchers. Somebody's like, oh, I could use those. Send over Jason. He's just standing here anyway. The Rouse across the street from the Vons is like, hey, we're 15 short. They're like, I send a guy over. And Ralph's and Vons is the same thing, kind of.

Yeah. Ralph's bad. Don't tell you. is like down there, right? I accidentally went into a vons, and I was like, oh, I'm not supposed to be here. You're talking to you an ex-John's guy. That's different. John's are Buccar Bonds, right?

John's is, I don't think John's Bond is a chain as much as there's just six different places. Am I making it up? Didn't they buy some vans and then downgrade and change one letter on the sign to Johns? That's what it feels like. John's also has a lot of, like, liquors you've never heard of. Johns is more of an international feel. Pirates, you've never heard of. flavors of brusque.

Yeah. It is international too. Yeah. Like you can get a bobca in Johns. John's is, I think Johns is like Armenian vons is what I did. But maybe that was just from living in Glendale for so long. Well,

the Johns, by my house in Valley Village was like that too. Okay, there you go. Yeah. I've never been to a Johns. I feel like I need to go now. Yeah. I've never been to a Johns.

I feel like I need to go now. Oh, yeah. There's not many. Bring your passport. They only take real ID. Yeah, they do hair transplants in the bed. The shopping carts thing, that's what like the mesh hat plan was there.

That's what like, when I worked at QFC for one summer, there were like people, you know, doing that kind of stuff. Yeah, the medieval part was very fun. Adding jousting into it was so much fun. It was funny because that was the part kids didn't take. Yeah. We're like, we're not getting dressed up in armor. No, she's going to run it into the curve. Into the device, like the things that would stop a car from going for.

We would run it into dumpsters. Yeah. Do you guys remember the Venn diagram between kids who did jackass stuff in those ball necklaces? Yeah, it was a circle for me. What are the ball? What are the ball necklaces? They sold them at Spencer's gifts. Excuse me, my gifts.

Are they like chokers? No, they were like the ball. They were like metal balls. They were like, it was like scene adjacent. So like a pearl necklace but with metal balls and stuff. No, but they snapped in the back. You ever, okay. You know, you ever turn off a fan light?

You know those tiny little balls? Imagine that, but like ten times bigger. I know what you're talking about. And they're not chokers, but they weren't loose. They were pretty. up around. Mid show. Maybe on your,

on your, on your, on your, on your, never, I never, I never, maybe a kid would

also, that kid would maybe also have like, yeah. Some 41 lyrics written in his arm. That's right. He'd have all the,

thick leather bracelet. He'd have all the, uh, the shows that he went to the weekend prior. And I did do that. I did, I'd save get up kids

ones for months. Oh yeah, do weasier, get up kids. Mm-hmm. You ever do that? Do you guys have those do you guys?

No, I took them off because I'd big heavy wrist. Oh, for raver kids? Yeah, they were just for us. I was trying to talk to somebody about this. Do you remember when kids would rave where they were like, it's a ball? Yes. But it's back.

Is it back? I think, well, you give you, they're glovers. Yeah. Catch it again. They were just, they were young improvisers just getting ready. They didn't even know yet. You're playing zipsaps off. They were doing space sports.

Zipsaps off in the club. Yeah. It was crazy because there were raver kids who I'm pretty sure never went to raves. Yeah, it was like a straight-act. Like they made it their identity, but I don't. And I'm also like, how often are you guys really getting ecstasy? I don't think that often. I think it was just monster energy and red.

We had raves like once every three months in Sioux Falls, there'd be like a rave and, you know, it'd be a whole thing. But we didn't have them weekly. A ring pops. We went to a cornfield one time. I went to one of those cornfield brists with people wearing like flame retardant suits and shit. That kind of a rave. And what did you do there? I think I drank a 40.

It was very out of place. Dringing the original four loco out. They're having fun of corn. And they're like, yeah, it looks fun. just drinking my money. This corn maze is crazy. They're like, there's no maze here. Farmers know?

Was it? Farmers? I can't remember. It was out of the field. We paid money. We paid somebody. We gave someone money. Yeah, you were just giving a guy money.

It was my buddy versus tech. I mean, I knew the guy who was doing it. Orlando Versteg? Orlando Versteg? That's a cool name. That is a cool name. The shopping cart, Justin. Yeah, that's pretty right.

Excellent first pick. Spencer. I'm glad I got this. It's not an iconic one, but I think it's the funniest one. And that is, it's from Jackass 3. Yeah. The high five. Oh!

I'm so sorry. That's iconic. You don't think that's iconic. But it's from a later, it's not like it's, it's a newer way of ever done. It's the funniest thing they've done. But it's iconic. Dude, it is. That's awesome.

Everybody wants to do that to people they know. Yes. And it's like, I think of all the stakes they do, it's like, it's like, it's not that, like, you're not putting that much physical harm on someone where some of the stuff you're like, this is funny, but like, holy shit, dude. That was just funny. And also just the hilarious, what is it like? He's like, he fell for the soup.

Yeah. When they. Layout Bam. It's because Bam doesn't expect it at all. Aaron kind of expects. You can see. So Bam's walking in and they put the powdered sugar on there so they antique him too. And he's walking in. You can tell he's famous

because the way he's walking. He's like texting or whatever and he's like, yeah, I'll get into my big deal, but not yet. And it lays him out. It levels him. Someone takes him out from the feet too. And then he's just laying there like, what happened? What happened? What happened? I got a few of them. Yeah, that's the thing. I love him, but he's also, it's like, he's a little arrogant.

That to me is the funniest thing they've ever done. Especially because right before you, isn't we man like, what's up, bam? And tries to get a high five. And then it just out of nowhere just takes them out. Yeah. If you haven't seen it, it's a, I mean, go look it up right now. It's a springloaded giant paper mache hand. And it's fun too because afterwards the people who got pranked are also laughing.

Yeah, because they're like, oh shit, now we're going to be on the other side of it. That's the icon of a good prank where it's like, because sometimes you're like, oh, you're hurt a little bit, recoup rate. And then we can laugh later. But this one immediately they're like, ah, fuck, man, you got me. And it's like. I like it when they don't get scared. Yeah. And this one's not death-difying.

People are just really, really scared. But it's just, dude, it's so funny, man. And some of them would get antiques right after where they were going to get and then they would run up and bam, bam. I watched it last night. Yeah. Yeah. It just, I watched it last night and it just, I mean.

The way he takes out is crazy. Yeah. It's nuts. Oh, I was laughing as hard as I've ever laughed last night watching it. I went back and watched a few and that was the one where I was like, I laughed so hard that it woke me up. I was having my sleepy time tea and I was like, I'm too jacked right now. Is that one with the bear on the cover?

Yeah. I want to be, how come nobody's that bear for Halloween? This year, I'll do it. That's a great call. That is a good call. It's because he's in a chair. Yeah. But he's got a hat on.

I would recognize it, I feel like. If you had, yeah, you had PJs and like a whole. Who do you even buy those PJs anymore? Snoozer cap? Is he wearing a, is he wearing a gown? He's got like a, he's got like a, um, I think I might be wearing a gown. He's got like a, um, um, I would have a, um, um, in my kerchief and dad in his cap or whatever.

Like, it just settled down for a long winter's night. I like that. Do you also, do you, do you wear underwear under a night gown? I'm freebie. I'm sack wagon down. Yeah, you gotta let it hang. He's wearing a white, kind of a white pajama shirt

and a red stocking cap. There's a little radio and he's got his tea. He's got a scone. So it is a night. Or a muffin in jail. So it is a night gown. Yeah. It's like a long t-oherne.

Now, I just hate the way I feel it. A long t-shirt. A long hens. else, I'll tell you that. I like a Henley. You're a big Henley guy. I'm a big Henley guy. I like a Henley.

Let the, got to show some gristle, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let him know that turd rolled under the fridge. I don't know what I meant by that. I think that I was picking up what you were putting down. What was it? Talk about chest hair. Yeah.

I said, let him know that turd rolled under the fridge. It feels right. If no, okay. Yeah, yeah. With my first pick, I'm going to take, to me, the funniest line in the history of Jackass. A thing I can't believe he thought to say.

Oh no. Which is, is Butterbean okay? Yeah. He said that heavily concussed. Butterbean okay? Johnny Knoxville

boxed Butterbee. They would go into stores. Were they in like a convenient or an electronic store? In Japan? Were they really? They were right over. They weren't far out of Korea town.

I thought that was when they first had to start leaving the country was when they did that. They filmed some of Jackass one in Japan, but I'm pretty sure Butterbean was done. I watched an interesting. interview on it last night about that specific clip. Butterbean was like a huge goon boxer who was just like so

and would punch so hard he were American flag trunks. He went the way you thought. Yeah. Yeah. He hit hard and him and Johnny Knoxville got into this boxing and he like kept knocking Johnny Knoxville out to the point where he was snoring.

Yeah. Like properly knocked him out. Yeah. You can see he's snoring so hard you can see his mouth guard wiggling in his mouth and shot. It's really when you Johnny Knoxville is tough. Tough. Yeah. Like where it's like, man,

that's the skill you got is just getting back up. If you got to be dumb, you got to be tough. That's right. Yeah. Like the song goes. Yeah. And when he wakes up,

he says, is butter being okay? It's so good. And it's the, I have like, so much respect for him. I'm like, how could you be that funny in that context?

Yeah. You see the nurse, too. There's the nurse looking at his eyes and he goes, is butter being okay? And she's like, she's like, when you're making someone with a medical degree laugh, that's funny.

He said when they were fighting, when he were boxing, didn't he say like, is there a mosquito in here or is there a fly? I feel something. I feel something poking at me. Yeah, he kept talking shit. Well, Butterbean gives him a clean shot. He just gets one in. And Johnny gives him a full, I mean, and he goes, okay.

And then he knocks him out. He said, I watched the interview in Knoxville said they got there. And he said, Butterbean was the nicest guy. And he goes, I need you to go full speed. Yeah. Butterbean goes, I can't do that. And he goes, I really need you to do. He can say, you ain't going to beg me.

I'll do it. And then that was all it talking. I don't need you to beg Because he like falls back And almost like hits his head on the There's like a juke He fans over the counter Yeah

Fucks him up Yeah Yeah that's a great pick It's so good It is That was from the first movie right Yeah I think so Yeah it was one of them

It might have been Butterbean okay I thought that was in the show There might have been in the show Honestly There's some that they pulled From the show Into the movie

But I remember seeing that At the movie When I saw it a couple of years ago It honestly It honestly blends together Yeah. Like I can't remember. It's kind of all the same.

Like you said, like the show didn't last that long. No, there's not nearly as much a show. It's like, I feel like there's more movie footage at this point than there is. Yeah. Well,

especially now. But they were like the, who was it? The guy that was running on the Democratic ticket in 2000, tried to get Jackass taken off the air. Lieberman? Joe Lieberman did? Joe Lieberman,

like had a campaign against Jack. That's why it only lasted like three years. It was a lot of, yeah. It was controversial though. You remember? I mean, it like, listen,

and we all love it. Yeah. It is an insane, kids were doing it. Well, yeah. They absolutely were. Yeah. And getting hurt and stuff. Oh, yeah.

I do understand why a politician might, should be saying that. We say that now. Now, when I was 11, I was like, fuck these guys. Exactly. Yeah, but they're not, you're not the constituents. It's an easy platform to run on work. See, Loris Tucker. No adults are going to be like, well, my kids get to do what my kids want to do.

Yeah. Pretty easy to be like, yeah, let's get rid of Jackass. And I don't think my parents knew what I was doing because they were too busy. working. Also, yeah. Also, as a man, I would be pissed if I was in the parking lot and some kids are just running around with the shopping cart. I see teenagers now and I get terrified. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're going to talk about my clothes. Yeah. They're going about Sean socks. God, I know. They do. Like that girl's egglow for me. She was like, I bet those stink. Yeah. But your boat shoes. Yeah. Damn, that hurts. We're all in the crosshairs. Sean Jordan, you have back-to-back picks as is a serpentine draft. I'm going golf course. Air Force. Damn it.

Fuck you! Okay. Speaking of stuff I'd be pissed about now if it happened to me. Watching that guy Watching that guy turn around Like he's hot shit And he doesn't drive He like chips a ball at them

And then John Knox Just laughing at him more Oh my God You know that dude That guy probably went home and got divorced I bet he went home Oh I bet he's still talks about it Oh yeah

I bet he's still talking about it When in one of the back swings For those of you don't know They were just blown an air horn In golfer's back swings Hidden in the bushes at golfers Maring camo One of the guys, they do it, and he just throws the club at them and they're laughing.

And as somebody who's been laughed at when they try to get revenge in any sort of way, it makes you so much more pissed. You know what I do? And this is hard. If I stop someone from getting in, which I do a lot because they want a shoehorn in or something, I will roll up next to them and I'll be like, I'll do like an evil genius. I got thumbs downed on the highway and that sent me. Didn't give me the middle finger. I drove past him and he went.

And I was like, oh, he just disapproves of my driving. Yeah, it does suck. Yeah. It was rough, dude. Honest feedback. Yeah. The air horn in the back swing, though. We never did it.

We never get our hands on air horns, but I remember having that phase of... That's what kept you guys out. Kind of, but like, let's talk when people are concentrating. Our version was going out and trying to talk when people were concentrating. It would piss you off so bad. I mean, like, you just like, to picture up from the other side, like some dude, long week, going out gone. Yeah.

This is the switch right here. We're in it. It's happening away. You're a ball and chain just wants a piece of quiet. Now we're ass jacking. That we're ass jacking. You're like, I can see it. Like, the guy was not wrong to get pissed, even though it is the funniest, one of the

funniest things you've ever think. I still think I'm pretty sure I would think it was funny. If it happened to me, I would definitely know it. They did it all day. I do. I think golf is the most insanely overly serious sport. But in this thing, you would like golfing in this scenario. I do kind of like, I go with my friends.

I like it. I think if someone air horned me, I'd laugh at that. Now, I'm trying to think if there were a bunch of golfers in the bushes, airhorning me while I'm trying kickflips, that might piss me. There you go. That's the thing. If someone's airhorning me during my set, for sure. Right, right, right.

We're also conditioned to like it because we've seen the jackass trick. So we're all like, okay, I know I should keep my cool on this. You have to put yourself like you're getting coffee, you're in line. Yeah. You're like, let me get an ice and then someone air horns you. It's these. Ors the golfers in the bushes sounds like a nightmare by the way. It does.

There's these TikTok guys. I've seen email. Yeah. Golfers in the bushes. There's these Tick-Soc guys now who, like, will go up and, like, be like, hi, daddy, like that and, like, go, like, touch people. I hate that shit.

I hate that shit. And it's, like, it's kind of the same principle. It's adjacent, but I don't think it's... I like those videos. Same school, different grade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. Because these dudes snap and it's almost a fight video, and I like that.

Yeah, you like those. Yeah, that's right. I love it in the, in the air horn, the guy's like, what are you doing? And he goes, I got Bersidas. It's like, what? Johnny Knoxville is the best at just those quick little things. It's so good.

So we used to do that. My friend, there's a really big neighborhood in Raleigh called Northridge. And on the back end, it's kind of a lower income neighborhood. And that's where my mom lived. But you could get to the golf course super easily. And like there were no parameters. You could just walk on it. Even though it was a nice golf.

Actually, famously, Michael Jordan tried to join the country club there. And they said no. Too black. Yeah, they literally, yeah, it was crazy. Michael Jordan's black in North Carolina? Yeah, dude. They're not going to raise you, dude. His money's, his money's not good enough.

It was wild. We're not going to. But we would go and we would air horn people and then we just run away. Yeah. Well, fuck them. It was great. You should have played serious, the Chicago Bulls entrance music. I stole it from you.

I fully do it once a month. Oh, I took it from you. One of my life bits. Yeah, yeah. Nice. I'll play it on the Google Home when I get home. Just get jacked up. Oh, no, just to make Laura laugh.

You should do it? I would take a really hot shower and there'd be a bunch of steam. And then I would, like, on the, On the bows in the house. The sonos. I would play the Chicago Bulls entrance music really loud and then run out in a towel. She's going like this. It's me and Zach on the couch.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's pretty fun. It's a fun thing. I invite everyone to do it. I'm going to do it this weekend. So golf course air horn. Second one, the rent-a-car demolition derby. Fuck you. But specifically when he returns it.

Yeah. And then, you know, speaking of how, funny Knoxville is. So he returns, for those of you listening, he rents a car, takes it to a demolition derby in Portland, by the way. Yeah, and then returns it. That's in Portland. Yeah, completely totaled. A lot of it's in Portland. I have no idea. Completely totaled.

Guy's freaking out. But the funny line where he's like, you're going to have to pay for that. And he goes, well, you got to help me. The guy said no. And he goes, I filled up the tank. He's got like two blow-up dolls in the back. He pulls one out of the window before he goes in and brings it with him. The guy's like, he's like, what happened? He goes, oh, I hit a dog.

It's a genuine reaction too. So I found out the boss knew about it. But the guy, the guy that all that footage is from did not know about it. But the boss did know. So the main boss knew. Yeah, I guess. So the main boss, they got to pay for the car. They got to know that they're going to help them.

So the main boss, I guess, was helping egg him on, you know. But that guy that they have all the footage of was like, what are you talking about? It's so fun. You know, that was, since we talked that we can bring this up, they did that in CKY first. Yeah. Oh, really? I know that. Bam rent it, but Bam, got the insurance. Yeah.

I was going to say, I feel like they didn't have, the boss didn't know. And they almost rented the exact same car. It's like, it's like a Chevy, like, cavalier? Cavalier, yeah. Yeah. And he gets, he gets $9 a day insurance and they beat the shit out of that. Yeah. They like driving into a tree.

And then apparently they set it on fire and that got them out of it because they're like, yeah, the car just combusted. And then they didn't have to pay? Pretty funny. Yeah. Hey, you guys are listening here. Loophole for you. There you go. Yeah.

Hit up Enterprise. And that's all insurance. Set it on fire? You're out. A little bit of insert into... Just say it was electrical. Upside down on that mortgage? Oh, it's...

We might add some Irish lightning back in the day. I've told you the story. That's Jameson. Yeah. But when he's in the car... During the derby, one of the cars goes up on the hood and the wheel goes probably this far away from him. It's a car's wheel.

It's a car. And he's just laughing. They were... Because they're not... dude but yeah bringing it in the demolition the rental car demolition derby to bring it into a current event so 9 of the 7 kingdoms

I won't spoil it but Lionel Barathean in the books is called the laughing storm because when he's beating people up and fighting he's laughing the entire time I think that's Johnny Knoxville It is Johnny Knoxville There's so many times where he is getting his ass beat or he's like about to die he's in a car because in that scene he's like

ha ha ha ha ha he's laughing he's like a fucking car is about to drive over him I have that reaction when something crazy is happening I laugh. Yeah? Yeah, like a really like tight, nervous laugh. I think I go dead sound. Johnny Knoxville is probably only a few miles from us right now.

Yeah, he lives somewhere on here. Is that wild? Yeah. His kid is like my age, which is wild. Yeah. Oh, he makes sense that he would have one earlier. Yeah. Because he just, we were talking about this.

He just has that aura where he just like, he looks young. He's hot as hell too. Yeah. He's an absolute perfect looking guy to me. And he's all shredded up. He's like that rock star skinny. Yeah. Where they're just, they're built, but they're skinny.

Yeah. He can handle his own. I mean, clearly he's proved it time and time again. Did I get two of your picks? Oh, yeah. I'm going to have to do some guys. I was hype.

I feel like I got some first round talent even being on the end. Did you have butter bean on there? Yeah. That was going to be before that for sure. Because of that line, it's butter bean okay. Is butter being okay?

Can't fuck with that. Second pick, I'm going to take hmm. I'm going to take an early one now. I got my, I got my favorite one. I'm going to take a bam lighting fireworks off with it.

Yes, dude. Yeah. It's so good. I mean, that was the genesis. A lot of this stuff. Him and skate videos way before this was light and fireworks off. I think that's what endeared me to bam. And shout out.

Fireworks? Yes. No, beating up your dad. Yeah. Because I loved my dad, but we had a contentious relationship. He was very preppy. I was a skater. He would make me.

Man, did you ever say see you later, boy? Oh, no. But I did have a, I had a secret trunk of clothes hidden in the woods. Did you have like one of those preppy southern... With prep clothes? No, with skate clothes. You reverse VIG!

My dad would make me leave the house in a tucked-in polo every day. And me and my buddies that we were doing jackass stunts with had a fort in the woods where I had a plastic, I had a rubber made container full of like zero and like world industries and all my skate clothes because my dad, my dad, I had a shirt that said zero and my dad went, you're telling people what you are, that you're nothing. You can't wear that in public. That's the point, dad. Yeah.

And I was like, but it's sick. Peppy Diggins Were it. Whoa, did your dad ever catch you like in a shorties t-shirt? No, one time I got sick at school and I threw up and he had to come pick me up

and I was wearing skate clothes. Whoa, was he freaked out? He was pissed, yeah. I barfed on my eyes on so they gave me this. They put it, they found this It also has barf on it. He didn't have any replacement dockers

in the gym locker room. So were you one of those Southern kids with that ridiculous Southern boy haircut? Yeah, that brother, I could pull up my senior pictures right now. Oh, man. What was that goddamn football show

that they all had that on? Oh, yeah. They all had that. It was a haircut. No, there was a MTV or ESPN. Yeah, high school football team in Alabama. And they all had that haircut. They all had the swoop. I wonder if I can pull this up. What the,

Two days. Two days. It was called two days. We had two days. Mine can look like that if I do it right, because it's just this big Bieber looking. That's exactly what I had, dude. That comes down like this. Yeah.

But I had that, but I was in a screamo band also. So I would, I could swoop the hair to make my dad happy. And then I remember I bought a hair straightener my senior year of high school, but I also bought a Mother's Day card So you look like Cromitri Martin in that haircut Literally, yeah So like literally there's a Facebook album I'll find it somewhere

I've got my senior pictures where I look like a little lawyer And then the next picture is me like With a fucking emo bang And like a mirror pick doing this You know? I like how Southerners say lawyer They pronounce the word instead of saying lawyer

It's like because it's spelled lawyer Because you didn't break the lawyer I bought the lawyer and the lawyer one If you say it like that, the double arresting. I'm sorry. So did I break the loy? We say, we say pecan. Yeah?

Is that how it is? That's how I say it. That's how it's going to be? I think, hear me out, you never order a con of soda. Right. Right. I order two liter. And that'll be the end of it.

Two liters of Fago, right? Yeah. You know this. Bam would just wail on his parents. His dad was so punchable. Yeah. I mean, he was a tank. He was a tank.

Yeah. And he loved his son so much. truthfully. They were so sweet. I don't argue. Maybe a little too much. Yeah. He should have beat him up a little bit.

Yeah. You're not running in on me in a house that I own and punching me in the bed. He would do it like while he was ripping some turds. Bam! Yeah. He took all the toilet. He said. But the second part of that stunt.

His dad died. No, he's still alive. Phil's with us. Phil's with us? Donvito died. Oh, Donvito. Yeah. Phil's still alive?

They just, if you want to have fun. The Dern brothers did a whole, or go ahead. The walk through the house. They're like, because they still live in that house. April and Phil do like a, it's like an hour and a half documentary on YouTube. The Dern brothers took it through. The Dern brothers are these dudes that go to famous skate spots and talk about all the tricks that have gone down there. So they went to BAM's house with BAM with him and the parents and they interviewed him about what we're talking about.

Oh, nice. Because BAM's doing relatively better, I think. I think he's sober. He started skating again. Skates every day living in Miami, but not partying in Miami. Didn't know that could happen. Which is good. Still not tight with the jackass guys.

Weird place to pick to go be sober. Yeah. I would. I'm going to get my shit together. and go move to Miami. So they would wait in this sketch their stunt,

they would wait until his parents were asleep, right? And he's like, in the video he's like, my dad has to get up at 4 a.m. And then they would, he'd be wearing like an Eskimo hat or whatever.

Clearly they've been up all night. Oh, dude, yeah. He'd run in and set off fireworks. They were antiquing the inside of their nose. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think you'd just get fireworks because they would put fireworks

in the work van too. Yeah, he goes back to sleep and it's like two hours later. You can tell they're still awake. Yeah. And he gets in the truck and just it's a shot from the outside. It's so funny. Because it's one of those like Chevy Astro vans just lighting up and Phil's like, bam, bam.

Like freaking out. Still going to work to be like a plumber. Oh my God. Just so fucking funny. And it's beautiful storytelling. Right. Because yeah, then they shoot it from the outside. It's great, dude.

That's my second pick. Spencer, you're time for your second pick. Oh, man. There's a lot off the board. I think I can get, because I'm on the turn. So I think I can take this one. I'll take this one and I'll get the one that I want on the next one. We'll see.

We'll find out. From jackass one, just fucking around in golf carts. Yeah. It's so much fun. I think, I don't know if you guys, talking back to golf, like, I had older cousins and my brother-in-law is like a few years older than me. So I would go play golf with them. There's nothing more fun than just fucking around in a golf cart, dude.

It's a go-car. It's a go-car for adults. It's a go-cart that went to private school. Yeah. Wow. It's especially when you're a kid and, like, a real car is out of reach. Yeah. Like golf carts.

You're like, I can see you. I had a go cart growing up. Did you guys ever fuck with go cards? No. I didn't even have a power wheel. We, my, you're like a legend. I grew up in weird.

You were over there with your dad and your go cart? My dad was very wealthy. My mom was literally on food stamps. It was a weird situation and they didn't want to talk to each other. So it was strange. So I lived in two worlds. But yeah, I remember for Christmas one year, my dad got my sister and I go and my sister was like, well, I'm not going to ride this.

You had two goal. So yeah, I was going to say. No, no, no, it was one go car. It was a two-seater. Yeah, yeah. And I figured out... Gas? Yeah, of course gas.

Yeah, yeah. This was like 1997. And I was too young to have a go-kart. And I figured out how to... I can understand engines a little bit. And I followed the throttle. And I went, well, that's a little loose. I can tighten that up and take the governor off.

And that thing ripped. You just figured that out? Yeah, I just was just tinkering in the garage. Again, Lashki kid. I would just come home. I didn't even know what a governor is. That was like it was what a British person calls a nice of British person. Governor?

Yeah. It's Jesse Ventura. Yeah. This go cart's gonna go faster Yeah I took that off And I would go pick up my buddy Zach On the other side of the neighborhood And we would just

You'd go pick him up in your go-car How old were you again? I was like eight or nine Yeah Oh man I think he might have gotten laid before you No dude You're really

You did have a stash of nudie mags in the woods But it was not getting laid You didn't have silk seats in the go-cart Yeah Little cheap We did duct tape to A bootbox We dug taped a boom box

duct taped a boombox to the front which didn't actually go well because it vibrated too much but it was a good Blast and Van Halen as you drove around Blasin Oh that's good

Now we were blasting Blank 102 Oh well Yeah Still good Still good You're in good But yeah dude I love that

That skit I mean they just like Demolish like a Putt course Yeah And they're running And the best part At the very end

They like They just take off And I think the The nose of the golf cart Like hits one of the bears And they just flip Yeah Ryan Dunn who was driving

was flying and it like almost kills Johnny Knoxville. And you can know because they're like the- They're terrified. Well, the idiots are like, oh, ha-ha-ha. And then I think Tremaine or someone runs up, don't move him, don't move him. They're like, it's like you can fear like, oh, this is serious. Yeah, yeah. Because Johnny's like knocked out for a little bit.

Because Tremaine was the only person whoever, they all cut to him sometimes. And he's clearly producing and directing. Yeah. He's working. He's not kidding. You know, so he'll run over with that serious face. Yeah. Like don't go piss on him or anything.

He might have a broken neck. Yeah. And there's a, given the context now, unfortunately, RIP Ryan Dunn, but bam in the background goes, Dunn can't drive for shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Amazing pick. David. Time for your second and thirds. Another one that got played at my school a lot in high school, Nutball. Oh, dude. Oh, yep. Nutball was huge.

Oh, dude. We shot, maybe bleep his name, but we caught stuffing for Nutball. Oh, did he was, oh, he's padding the pad? For nutball or for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, dude. anything. For nutball. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So that was where you sat with your legs open and threw. In your brief. You either through or rolled sometimes.

Yeah. You do a tennis ball. It was like seniors, too. Yeah. When I was a freshman. Because it was like, I think nutball came out my freshman year, probably. I've never wanted to mess around with. You're nuts?

I've never wanted anything thrown in my nuts. In a bad way. I never engaged in that. You got reachable nuts. They're pretty big. Sean's got big nuts. Yeah. So I never, I was like, I always shied away from that like, kicky, whatever nut games there might have been.

I don't know, man. You want to see Sean's nuts get smashed. Join the Patreon. I'm going to punch Sean on the nuts as hard as I can. You're never doing some dick slapping. You could be the set me up for life because I got divorced tier of the Patreon. And then, yeah, we'll put the nuts stuff on there. But yeah, and it always looks so scary too because there's no, it's like the great equalizer.

You get hitting the balls in it just, it's the worst pain there is. You guys remember the first time you like got hitting the ball? and it like crippled you. Yeah. I don't remember the last time. I got his balls like two weeks ago. On accident. My dog got me in the nuts like a week ago.

Yeah. It's been a word. Her nose. Oh. No, no, no. It was her paws. Because when I come home, she does that dumb ass like. Yeah.

How dare she be excited to see you? Yeah. I mean, I love it as much as I hated. Maxil hit you the balls. If I'm at home with like I have a mesh shorts on. Oh, she don't nail you in the nuts. Yeah, mesh shorts and she'll come like run and jump on me. I took a knee the other day.

Yeah. It was pretty buck. And then I got to stop her. I put her over and I'm like, give me about two minutes. You know, she doesn't get it, but I'm like,

it's excruciating for a couple minutes here. And then I'm fine. And then you're just, it's funny because it hurts and then it just is gone. Yeah. I mean, you feel like you're going to throw up.

The relief when it goes away is so. Actually pretty good. Palpable. It's such a different kind of post nut clarity. It's a reverse orgasm almost in a way. The nut comes back in. It's just hanging out for a while. What is it?

What is it? What is it? They're out there. right now, too. You do the little check. You're like they're both still there? We're good. And rupturing a testicle? Yeah, nutball was that was, like, I also, that's something where I'm like, I feel like I could have gotten there

with my friends. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, for the shit, they did it kind of felt lower stakes. Yeah. But it was still funny. It's still hilarious. Because again, it's the great equalizer. You get in the balls. We would bag tag all the time. So I mean that, you know. I use oversized luggage.

What's interesting? Oversized luggage tag? I got a little more of the bag down there, Playboy. What's interesting about... Call the Samoans to put me on the conveyor, though. I got to go to the special gate with the old man on the stool. Most of our picks so far are like the... There's a lot of lower production value ones in there

because there's some pretty high production value. I think that's what was so cool about Jackass, though, is like at the beginning, it was literally just two guys with like pro sumer-grade cameras. Yeah. Or not two guys, but it was a bunch of friends. And like, we all, especially if you grew up skating, like, we were filming.

and skate videos with like, I remember at one point we were filming skate videos with my like granddad's VHS on the shoulder. Yeah. And it was like these guys got,

I mean, I think at one point like before they started it was like MTV Comedy Central and I think it was Spike TV were like pushing to sign them. Yeah. Which is so funny.

There was like a boardroom full of like TV execs that were like, guys there's an industry on kicking guys in the nuts. Yeah. His name is Stebo. Yeah.

You remember how they were like there was like a Norwegian one? Oh, the dudesons, yeah. They have one of the grossest skits, in my opinion, which I think we can say. Yeah. They laid out a bunch of grip tape, and they went bare ass, and they pulled each other down. Oh, yeah. And they like, ground up their butt cheeks.

I was like, I'm good. Yeah. I feel it. Yeah. The dudesons, dude. Yeah. So they were like. I mean, they're Bucca.

They're like Swedish versions of band. Yeah. I think they went like too hard. Yeah. They were like, they did. They were like nail guns. Oh. Yeah.

Ooft. Ufta, Scandinavia. David, time for your third pick. This one is the, this one really sits with me. It's even, I winst remembering it. I wincing, thinking about what you might. You know exactly what it, the paper paper. Oh, no.

No. The manila envelope? Shut up, that shit was. How much, how much for you to do it? No. No, I think that was. God, it would hurt. Dude, they did toes and in between the mouth?

What of them did their nuts at? Did it? Oh, that's right. Didn't they? I'm never in the eye. I like it. I think Dave England. I think Dave England did his buttes cam.

I would almost be more willing to go nut sack than like in between fingers or mouth. Yeah. Or toes. At least nuttack is a flat territory. And they're not a junction. Here's the thing. They're not using like paper. They're using manila flogers.

Watching it was so fucked up. They're wielding the broadsword on that thing. That was one. And you could hear it too. It sounded like someone using a paper cutter. Oh. A lot of the. He was like, honestly, that shit was kind of what made me stop watching.

Yeah. We're talking about Isaac. Have you seen it? No. Isaac's never seen this. He gets it. They're in a hotel room. I understand the concept of it.

I don't like it. Now, here's the thing. It stinks. Because I have, you know, I've been drunk. I've beerbonged a silverfish one time when I was drunk. I wonder how much of this stuff. Thank you for that. I wonder how much of this stuff I could do after a few.

Not that. It takes some of the pain away. And that one never seemed like it would be. be one that would work even after a few. I think still that one. I think even in my drunkest... I didn't want to put it on my list. I know. I didn't want to write it down as I feel like I'm conjuring. I'm glad you did.

Because that's something that we're like, even in the moment it's fine, but you're paying for that one, two, three days later because that's the worst part of that paper cut. Especially on the hands, you're using these bad boys every day. Ian is having like a situation reaction over here. I'm like, I'm like, I'm clenching my toes on. Yeah.

We went to go see it in the theaters. The entire theater was like, ah! Like everyone freaked out. Yeah, I am having a very visceral reaction to it. It's awful. It's awful. And it's banging on all levels. Sound, I mean, just all these things. It's so visceral. You know? Banged out another 50 pages of the Lonesome Dove last night.

There you go. Yeah. The opposite of this. Literally, that's the opposite. Tried. Trying to think about anything. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, that Manila envelope shit. Brutal dude. Holy shit. Mm-hmm. Isaac Watcher right now. No.

Yeah. No. We're going to make you watch it. All right. For the lunch break. I understand not. That's correct. It's a tough. It's a tough. Spencer, it's a tough for your third pick. Oh, man. This is a tough one.

I think I'm going to have to go. Let's see, third pick. I think I can get these other two later. I'm going to go party boy. Yeah, he's been a party boy in general, dude. It's low stakes. No one's getting hurt, really. That was the one a lot of kids were doing it.

Yeah. Oh, I got detention for doing it to my gym teacher. Yeah. Walked out of the locker room in my, just my jockstrap. And my friend was playing, boom, bown, bown, bown, that song. Did you have a bowtie? Did the party boy have a bowtie? He did have a bowtie.

We were just working with what we had in the-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. That shit really got a lot of kids in trouble. Yeah, dude. If a party boy, everybody could do it. Yeah. It's not even a tough dance to recreate. No. The biggest consequence of that prank is someone pushing you away.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think some people would beat you up. Oh, for sure, for sure. Yeah. Well, yeah, because he would do it out at bar. I mean, they got in fights because of that. It's funny because he would just, I think in the movie they are in Japan

and he goes into like an electronic store. And he's doing it to like the security guard. And this like nice Japanese gentleman is like, no, you have to stop. He's pushing. He takes his hat and starts playing with it. And then there's like a, he does it again later to like a fortune teller, like sits down to get his fortune told. And then he's like, and then he rips. It's the tearway pants.

Yeah. Well, because Pontius got a hog on him too. Oh, yeah. That probably didn't help dudes. He also was such a friendly face. Ponyus is, yeah. His smile is like so sweet that I feel like party boy wouldn't bother me. No.

If I got party boy and I think I'd laugh. If Chris Pines was this close to me, I'd be like, yeah, I'm down for this. Yeah. But even if you didn't know, if you, you know, you were the fool in the situation and you're like, yeah, it'd still be. I still think I'd like take party boy well. I was just, I don't think no one's doing tear away pants anymore, man. No. No, that we really, it didn't, it didn't go longer than a couple of years.

Yeah, I got to find a pair of those on eBay. You can make them? You can make them. That's true. We used to make tearaway of when I worked on the late late show. We did a few things that involved tear away outfits. And James had tearaway suits. It's fun, man.

Cut them and then put Velcro on that. Yeah, that's right. Imagine, you know, your home, your significant other is like, hey, let's have some fun. And you tear off? That's what you, buying them in sixth grade, that's what you always thought was going to happen. That or you're coming off the bench for the hawks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, one or the other.

And even basketball players, remember, they would have them super unbuttoned before they were. Yeah, yeah. You get a nice breeze in there. Me and the boys all bought these Jordan tear away. Except the Nike employees stores. Why did you say the boys? Because it was me and the boys. It was him and the boys.

It was me, Nick Nampay, Nate Stoller, a few, like maybe one or two other dudes. We all had the same ones, and they all looked so bad on us, but Nate kept wearing them. Oh, they didn't look good on anyone. They looked like shit. They looked bad, but he just fucking was about the life. They were too long on me. Yeah, and they were huge. I had a pair, too, and they were just, like, four of my legs.

They were like hammer pants. They were, they were flowing. You were parachuting. These were like for Paul Pierce. I think like ever down at the employee store

they would have stuff that was like this was clearly meant for the player Yeah. Right, right, right. And I'm like, these are really long. But Nate kept wearing them, dude.

Oh, man. Shout to Nate. Party boys are great pick. Yeah. Yeah. Time for my third pick. I think I might go. Oh.

Hell yeah, dude. We're gonna take a break so Isaac can watch the paper cut video. We'll be right back with more All Fantasy Everything. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babel. Ola, yo so Ian Carmel. Now, you may have noticed that I was just speaking Spanish,

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Isaac. That was fun, man. Really like the paper cut video. Yeah. Yeah, he was into it. It was weird. Yeah. This is fake news.

I can see a screen over there. Isaac got up. He's buying a Dickhouse production shirt right now. The house! He got up and started doing that flossing dance He was so excited You know me, always flossinging You know what's crazy?

I never put that together That they were saying dick house The house, it says it on the text Yeah The little rainbow goes over Oh, you never did the rooster was saying dick house I thought that it was just a rooster noise A dick house shirt would be good

You should have a dick house I have one unfortunately You all that's great Yeah, I'll agree it Give me yours You buy me one so then I'll have too I tried to put it on this morning Because I was like

What a fun Fun shirt to wear there No, it looked like the Michelin Man. I bailed on a shirt too and I'm going to have to wear it tomorrow. I got a new rugby shirt and I bailed on it. That's a tough shirt. Even though you guys are a loving, you're a loving style environment. You'll like it.

You'll get a completely honest feedback from me. I try to see. I'm scared. I think you're going to like it. I think I will like it. I've seen you in a rugby look right? That poet's one that you have? It's phenomenal.

This is yellow stripes on it now. I'm aware it tomorrow. What's a base? Add a few points to the IQ. Navy. Navy. Navy base and it's probably got five. yellow stripes of bearing navy in yellow.

Mustard? Mustardy, yeah. Not the yellow that you instruct me never to wear again. It looks bad on your skin. Is it like a yellow behind you? It washed you out. This is a good yellow. This is like a good yellowish, brownish color on you.

That yellow was like washing you out. Maybe you look jaundice. Yeah, no, I love it. Couldn't have my boy out there looking jaundice. No, hey. You know I had jaundice for the first two weeks my life? Yeah. And hiccups.

Yeah. And a healthy addiction to video lottery. That's right. Stand up. Come on. Comedy over here. Sean will be right back. You see that.

See that on Comics Unleashed about a month ago. Did you do that on Comics Unleashed? I hope so. If I could five, that'd be tight. Are you going to do that? Well, they said you can do whatever you want, right? Pretty much, I got a call. I got a call and...

Do some of Shane's jokes. If I didn't think he would actually get mad at me and beat the shit out of me, I would love to. Do everything bagel. Please. That would be crazy. Please do everything bagel. I'm going to name my next son, Bronosaurus Torres. You can outrun Shane.

easily I run too. He's getting pretty I guess. I can out of run him. I'll always be able Shane. Sean does not have a great record

as far as the running goes. Oh yeah. Sean runs fast. Unless he's on a board. Okay. Shane ain't never raced me and you stop. I'll beat Shane in a foot race

any second of any day. Shane is spry. I'll give him that. Yeah, man. You knock it off too. And don't you start. I know what I brought it up. I apologize.

You do knock it off and don't you start. Shane, I will beat you in a foot race. I don't think Shane. I don't, the real race would be between between me and Shane. in a foot race. There we go. Now, that would

be fun. That would be interesting. Now, yes, I have lost to Sharpie and Jeff Tice every time they blink. You seem like your sneaky fast. Tice? Yeah. Oh, thank you very much. Play offensive line, didn't you? I was the defensive tackle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to be sneaky fast. This was in him, and I wonder, what would you rather have a 1-4-10 or a 4-140? 4-140? 4-140? Is that what's more coveted?

I don't really know anything about running a 10. Okay. A 1-4-10 is like a 10-year-old 10 is way slower because that would be. be like a five something 40. Maybe it's a one, one, ten, and a four-nine. Let's all go do some 40s on a, on sunset after this. Brother, I'm good. We all pull up. We're all like, oh. I do feel like I'd hurt myself if I think the last 40 I did was about a 5-4 and that's it.

I don't know. I don't think I ever broke 5-6. I don't remember what my one. I did, I did, what was it, senior combine high school and I don't remember it. That was way too long ago. I could lift. For sure. I could lift. I'm going to lift after this. That was delicate. Yeah, you got a home, Jim. Well, it was your fun.

I'll put a hat on next episode. What do you, what do you, uh, what are you putting up these days? Uh, uh, are you lifting heavy? Are you throwing plates? I'm not, I'll lift every every now and then. The highest, when I moved here, I was working out a bunch because the body back home owned a gym and I was working out with him. I was putting like 450 on the squat. Oh, yeah.

Hell yeah. Yeah. What's your split? Uh, wait, what? Like push, pull legs, upper body. Oh, I'm doing, I'm doing Mondays. I'm doing, uh, Mondays. I'm doing chest and back.

Wednesdays. I'm doing all legs. Fridays, I'm doing shoulders. Oh, just shoulders. Just shoulders, dude. Maybe I need. Boulder shoulders. I need to start working the shoulder routine then.

I call it silver lifts. It's my garage gym. I got too tired of giving Pharaoh's money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing shoulders tonight. Dude, shoulders is the best thing to work out because you immediately see the results. Yeah, that's right. Wait, no, I'm not.

Today's pull day. I was completely wrong. I did back in. Back and biceps. I'm just going to pull off. I got some rows going on, some full rounds going on. I saw you're back when you were changing clothes yesterday. You look amazing.

Oh, thank you very much. I've been putting in work, dude. You know, it's funny. You know, it's funny. You know, it's funny. Yeah. Very funny. The first, like, dinner date I went on with my now girlfriend.

We were at Dune. Yeah. Ooh. And Water Village. You walked by. As I want to do. Yeah. And I went, oh, I know that guy.

Yeah. Yeah. And then she was like, who? She's the other guy walking over there. I was like, yeah, he walks a lot. Yeah. I do. Yeah.

She was like, tell me more. Tell me more. Dude, how long you guys been together? Since May or officially since June of last year. Okay, so my back wasn't so big at that point. Just to put us on my back, like timeline. On that back, yeah. You're looking good, though.

Just to get us back on track. Just to get us back on track. Amen. Is it me or you? It's me. We haven't done a ton of like high production once. No. I'm going to take my first high production.

I'm going to take Big Red Rocket. Oh, yeah. That was good, dude. Which Johnny Knox almost fucking killed Johnny Knoxville the first time. It's far away. Yeah. Shrapnel blew out and like went out this way instead of into Johnny Knoxville

and then he gets back on and they do it again. Yeah. Where they launched this huge rocket into that lake. Is it the same lake they do every time? It's got it. Probably. It looks like it's on someone's property. I bet you it's on someone's land who is just like

chill. They're doing a lot. They're doing a lot of legislation. Is it, why does it feel Arizona to me? I bet you it's just outside of town. I bet you it's like Big Bear. What's close to L.A.? Big Bear's like two hours away.

Where would there? You know what I mean? It feels like it's just like an hour and a half outside of LA. Because you can look, the foliage looks very Southern California. Yeah. I could see Phoenix, but there's mountains and stuff that looks like around that particular lake. You get an IMDB Pro and probably find out the shooting locations. Oh, I bet you could.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Johnny Knoxville says it was in Jackass No. Yeah. And Knoxville explained how dangerous it actually was, revealing two people almost lost their actual head. That's crazy. As a result of it, he Knoxville told GQ, I just remember,

being ecstatic that we got that footage, but it was pretty crazy moment because a footlong metal rod shot out, not only this close to my ribs, but one goes through the yards back and splits two of our art departments right between their ears. Oh, that's right. So like went like right between the art department guys. Like in between the couch, right?

Yeah, they like went backwards. And it would have decapitated them, so a lot of people got lucky that day. And then you're just, you're like, great, and then the stunt's done, but then they're just going to do another one the next day. It's such a odd, Yeah.

Such an odd I mean these guys are literally cheating death Goal of the dice. Yeah. But in chance, you know, it could not go wrong but then you watch it go wrong

and they're like, well, let's just do it again. Yeah. And it won't go wrong this time, you know? I mean, laws of probability,

I guess, yeah. And yeah, God, it's like so close to him. It's literally like, it like flies out like right under his shit. And if that goes up or something and then you're just,

it's a hole in you. I wonder, does anyone ever get like, I mean, we'll talk about other pranks, but I don't think anyone ever got like seriously, seriously injured.

Knoxville the most, I think. He's broken some stuff. Concussions and, you know, they show, yeah. Didn't we get to that point where they were like, hey, if you do another one, you could die? Maybe. I mean, I'm sure, doctor. I bet you he's got a doctor. I bet you they all have a doctor who is going to be brutally honest with them, knowing that they're going to keep doing it.

Yeah. So like one of those doctors that says, yeah, you could probably have eight more concussions. Right. Whereas a normal doctor would say, if you have one more, you're done. Yeah. They're doctors. It's like the doctors that WWE has a. staff.

Giving them the straight dope. It's like, yeah, Brian Danielson, you can still wrestle. Sean, time for your third and fourth fix. So I'm going to go, I don't know how high production this is. It feels like there was a lot, though, because there's a plane involved. But I'm going to go that jet engine thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And I knew Sean and I were going to have similar picks. Specifically the part where they're throwing the footballs up into the jet engine. That is going so. Knoxville's dressed up like an old-timey football player. Yeah. And it's just going so fast. I mean, crazy. They do the whole like Bose commercial

where they're sitting in a chair and it just blows them away. But then they do the football, they throw fruits up there. Yeah. There's, I think they have a Dave England's like pretending to be a waiter.

Yeah, and he's just walking by over to president. It just takes him out. They have that, forget that dude's name, but maybe he was in a band or something, but he runs up on an umbrella. Oh, that's Loomis.

It's Loomis. Loomis. Yeah. And it just sends him flying. He broke his collarbone. Did he? Bad. Whoa.

I see a clip. They literally like at the, end of like a tarmac just like blasting a jet engine. And he just runs up and opens it. Just like you can see it. Just take him and throw him like 15 feet. He's like end over end. Because he was like he's a small guy.

Those are the scary things to me where you have no control over your body. That's true. If I'm, what am I doing? If I'm, I don't want to name other picks. I guess if I'm doing the envelope thing, sorry. But I have control over the strength a little bit. With this, you're just at the mercy of a jet engine. Yeah.

And however buck that is. And also, I don't think they did a lot of prep work. so nobody really knew. No, dude. Whoever hopped in front of it first was who found out. Yeah, I think you're right. There's no way to really rehearse that one. Because I watched a GQ thing last night.

Knoxville's like, we always shot the rehearsal because you don't want to not have it in case something crazy happens. We're going to do it anyways. So shoot the rehearsal. And a lot of times they used because that was the buck of shit. Yeah. First dig in the real reaction. There's like, he's like throwing tomatoes up at one point.

And then he just goes, he sneaks his shoe in there, but then it cuts. It's like Aaron and Dave England. And the shoe flies by. and you hear just go, like it is, like if that hit them, like their head would be jailed probably. At least like knock all their teeth in.

Yeah. Jesus. It was nuts. Because like the tomatoes are like exploding on impact, but like Knoxville like takes off his converse and throws it up there. And then he turns around and goes, ugh.

He's like, oh, I mean, pushed it a little too far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So here's another one kind of on that tip. And this was one of the first ones that resonated where just looked so scary.

It didn't look like anything was going to really, but it's so scary. It was the oranges in the high limits. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. The bruises from those were crazy. Because they were showing these high limits are scary enough anyway. Yeah.

Yeah. And they showed the oranges in them with no one standing there. And I love how they're standing there before these stunts. And then they'll show them, hey, here's a highlight going to that tarp. Here's an orange going to the tarp. Yeah. And they'll show their reactions and then they go stand there. Yeah.

And they just caught them on the thighs. Dude. You got these highlight players that are doing like 720s getting ready to get ready to throw it. Yeah. Yeah. Like the meat. And the people that do it, because whatever sport they have, whatever athlete they have, when they see it happen and they see it connect, the people who threw it are laughing so hard.

Because they're like, you can't believe anybody would ever let us do. Because they probably talked like, what do you did get up to do? Yeah, all we try to do is avoid getting hit with these. Here they are standing there in groin cups and that's it. Yeah. No shirts even. No, dude. And an orange, if I threw an orange at you would hurt.

Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. I'm going to throw one at you later in this podcast. It'll hurt. Yeah, when we get lunch. Yeah, it'll go out of the parking lot. Oh, wait, we're not going to get it.

We ain't have time for lunch. Well, we'll wrap it up the next eight minutes. We can give a quick one. We can't get it out. I'm going to take one that I can't not take, being the resident Portland, Oregonian. Oh, bro. I was going to do it last. Pooping in the hippo hardware toilet.

That was in Portland. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Still there. Right on Burnside. Right on Burnside. It's like a Portland institution. That's cool.

You can go in there if you want to get some very interesting knobs or whatever. whatever handles for your furnishings, you know, you can go in there. He's a nob. He's a real nob. And it was the first time I'm like, for sure that's in Portland. Oh, that's cool.

That's fucking hippo hardware. Dang. Did that feel really cool at the time? Yeah. Super, super cool. Yeah, like where you're like, this is what's happening. We're on the Zike guys.

Yeah, we're in us. Senior city represented on the big screen. Yes. And there were, like, there weren't any other representation. I heard the best clan guys were actually going to be in it. Yeah. They were like, we can poop and stuff. you if you want.

Dude, the guy's voice. What are you doing? Yeah. He's that's crazy. I would have not guessed I was in Portland just from that guy's accent alone.

There are, there's the Portland that we've all come to know recently. Yeah. There's like a, there's layers of like pioneer folk. Okay, gotcha. That makes sense.

A lot of people who say Crick. Ooh. Those are my people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Warsh people out there? Warsh, crick. Hello. A lot of people say

Washington instead of Washington. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, the hippo hardware toilet. Yeah, it's very funny. Just for local pride. Also, just the balls to do that. I don't think I could perform at the time. I really don't think.

Doesn't he poop on the way to it? Right? Because they get nuts and they take laxatives and stuff. He'll, he shits in the van and Lance throws up. Maybe. Yeah, that's right. He's like, guys, we've got to pull over and he's like in the front seat pooping. Yeah, I remember that.

There's the pookin'o that wasn't jackass. I think that was like shit and boob and stuff where they took laxatives and they couldn't hold it in. It's always day. That is his big brother, yeah. The one in the hardware store seems like they just, he bawled up a poop and just didn't poop for a few days and then had a few coffees. just like ready to go out.

Because they show it and it's a big old log. It's huge. And that guy when he's doing, he's like, he ain't, he ain't, right? It's great. He's like, he ain't being shit in there, is it? They're like, I think so. I think they have a good sense of humor about it now, too, a hippo. How would you ever think that somebody is really doing that? Because it's crazy. Like a man. Spencer, time for your fourth pick. All right. Fourth pick, I'm going to go, I think, the riot control. Which one's out?

I don't know. It's Jackass 2. It's when Johnny Knoxville and Bam and Ryan Dunn, they shoot them with like the landmine for the Ryan. Oh, yeah. That shit's crazy. It's one of the few times where you can tell that they're like, like they go outside and Ryan Dunn's like, I don't want to do this, dude.

Like they're like, they are genuinely scared. And Bam is like, you just, you see them become boys, you know? Johnny's like, whatever, dude, it's going to be fine, do it. And like, Bam and Ryan Dunner are like, hey man, I don't, I don't think we should do this. Like, because they fire one. just and it's loud.

It's a literal their reactions when they're standing and they're watching it are the best. Because they're like, they're like, you know,

they're cock of the walk leading into it. They're like, yeah, right, it's gonna be fun. You know, Bam's like doing this shit.

And then they fire a test one and they both go, they get so stone face. And it cuts to them outside like smoking cigarettes at a coffee table. Trying to calm down. Yeah.

Ryan Dunn is literally like, I can't do this man. He's like, that's gonna fucking kill me. Meanwhile, John Knoxville's literally been shot with a gun. Yeah. So he's like chill about it.

fucks them up. Bam cries. Bam cries. That's one where he's crying. Yeah. Bam cries. Like Ryan Dunn's like, and John Oxwell doesn't even fall down, which I think is also a testament to how tough he is, dude. Like, Bam and Ryan Dunn immediately are floored and Johnny just like kind of leans over. Also, by the way, Bam and Ryan Dunn, both very tough. Yeah. I'm not going to say they're not. So these two tough dudes fell down and Johnny's just standing there, took it. Yeah, dude. And you see him standing there like this too, like hand over the face and the phone. Yeah. And it's another one of those things where like similar to the highlight. The guy's like, yeah, I mean, we use this.

against like rioters. You guys just want to stand in front of it and they're like, yep. It's crazy, dude. That's great. David, time for you to your fourth and then your final picks. Spirmathon. Which one of the spermathon again? Where they keep giving all the nut.

You don't remember that? It's like in the very first season. Is that when they put it like in a bucket? No, they're at the, they're at the play. Oh, the sperm bank? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it who can give the most?

I think so. Yeah. It's like the very, it's like one of the first. Dude, that's what I don't even remember this. No, that's a deep cut, dude. Look up spermathon. I'm looking it up. Out of incognito.

Shocker. Oh, yeah. Use headgums well, Wi-Fi for that. It's not my computer. It's all good. Yeah, I can't spermathon. Because I remember some sperm stuff. I remember some sperm stuff.

They did a lot of it. It's crazy out of context. Oh, is who could do the most? Because the one guy comes back like. They had like a measuring system, didn't he? Who is, is it Brandon? Deca Millo? Yeah, dude.

I feel like he won. Had to be early on because he didn't stick around for too much of it. Yeah, he dipped after the first or second one, I think. Yeah. He was more of a CKY legend. I don't think I could get a lot in a day. I really... Especially now.

It goes pretty dry. It's because you love everything dry, though. Yeah, do you guys take it dry? Yeah, because they're like comparing the volume at the end, like in the cups. Yeah, I remember that now. Yeah. And they throw it at some point. It's like, it was one of those things where I was like, you could...

do this on TV? I think it was one of those things where they couldn't. Yeah, probably not. I think they were, I think. Oh, I bet you they, I wonder if they even blurred out the cups when they were holding them up. I think they did. I think it was a big, like, ask for forgiveness, not for permission.

Because it was also very early on my even knowing what nut was in the way. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because I was probably like, I was probably 12. Do you even remember when you found out like what it was? I remember it was at my friend's house and his older brother. Oh, no. This is a dangerous way to say.

He said, he said, He said semen, and I thought he said cement. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's stuff in the trucks. And they were like, they were like, what the fuck are you talking about? He's got nothing to trunk. Spirmathon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then my last one is just, I remember, you remember how hard they used to fall during this one?

Fat fuck. Dude, Big sweaty fat fuck is so good. Big sweaty fat fuck is that where to get chased? It's Matt Hoffman, Tony Hawk, and Bam. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And they're like, they're like at Woodward or like something, but they're like in a, like, a really nice skate party. And they're just

in the big back guys shit. They're wearing like 10xel pants. Yeah. But they're like slamming. It was like intense. Yeah. But it's fun because they're not really

getting hurt. No, they're like they're covered in padding. Yeah. And like it's funny. Like Tony Hawk like tries to do like a 900. Yeah. Yeah.

Like barely do a 360. Choping in on the vert. Some of them get some shit off though. Some of them get a couple things off. It's right. Yeah. Hoffman does like a tail whip. Yeah.

The condor. That is right. Bam does a switch back tail or switch back lip in that thing. Because remember he lands it And then he goes, yeah, and it's like weight shifts him, and then he faceplants. Yeah. That would be so hard.

Dude. Yeah, that shit was very, that was where a little bit of the Spike Jones influence that would come in. It feels like. Wasn't Spike Jones like loosely filleted with his guys? Yeah, extremely. He might be on my next pick. Yeah.

Not even loose. That's crazy too, because when he won an Oscar, it's nuts. Yeah. Because he was in, he was so heavily in all this stuff. Yeah, dude. And then with Girl and Chocolate, too, like he directed all the girl videos. Yeah, right. You want that pretty sweet

Yeah Damn dude It's crazy Well Spencer it's time for your final thing This is gonna be tough man Because there's some that I want to take For like personal reasons That it just make me laugh

Because this is really This is really pulling from my culture As a as a wayward youth As a stupid wayward youth As a go cart kid Yeah As a go cart kid With a passenger seat

I already took one where Bam got hurt So I'm not gonna do This one's just fun I like it It's not Okay it's similar to it's a different skit. You said cart jousting.

But there is a special skit called Sir Marius or Sir Marcus. It's Brandon Dickamillo. Bam's in a convenience store at night on crutches for some reason. And Brandon DeCamillo is like a solid football field away in full plate armor with a jousting on a BMX bike. He goes, I do not pay you in, or no, you cannot pay me in cash. You must pay me with drugs. And he slams through the front door and just impales bam. Through the door?

The door's open. He goes through the door and just slams bam into like a chip aisle in this like corner store. And it's just crazy because like you can hear him rattling from like a football field away. And he's like barely holding on to the bike because he's also got like a jousting. It's the predecessor to a Night of the Seven Kingdoms. But. Yeah. Oh yeah.

But then the best part is like and they fight a little bit in the convenience store. And then they just pan up to this guy who's just. just in there and he goes, what's going on here? He's just this random dude. And it's like, it's the middle of the night. So like imagine you're, and it's like, I think it's in Westchester because I don't think Deco traveled like that. Yeah, it didn't seem like it.

Dude, it's one of my favorite. I watched it last night and just died laughing because it's just so stupid. And there's a, I think they did it from the show. I think I can tie this. And they did BMX jousting, which I think was tied in. I can see that. And it was just, today we joust. And I just used to say that all the time as a kid.

And people were like, what fuck you talk. talking about it. It's a fun one. That's just, that's for 10 year old me. Yeah. Yeah. Just also the non-sequitur nature of like, you cannot pay me in cash. You must pay me in drugs. Like if you hear someone screaming that, right, like just put yourself in that other guy's shoes. You're, it's one o'clock in the morning. You're going to get like a pack of cigarettes, maybe a snowball, you know? Yeah. Maybe a hostess, nice little snack.

And you hear what sounds like a cart of empty cans pushing down the road and some guy screaming, you cannot pay me in cash, you must pay me in drugs. And then he jousts a random guy on crutches. It's just a, it's so far-fetched and insane. It's hilarious. I don't even know how you think of something like that. Joust in real life would freak me out. Not to keep bringing up Nine of the Seven Kings,

but the way they shoot the jouse scenes. That's awesome. Really makes it because people were doing that. Yeah. Real popular thing back in the day. I used to LARP. Real hot ticket. Did you really?

Did you really? Did you jouss war playing? There was like a pole jose. jowse thing? You, like, sat on this, like, wooden horse and you could pull at each other. But we'd joust, it was foam, but it's fun. Larping's fun, dude. I could see you, LARP. Yeah, I'm a big, I haven't done it in a while, but I'm currently, I'm currently, my girlfriend's going to wear a bald cap, and I'm going to buying plate armor right now. That's awesome. We're going to be dunking at the Renaissance Fair. That's great. Oh. Yeah. I thought it was for a whole different.

I thought you were going to say we were going to joust your girlfriend. No, no, I mean, in some sense. In some sense, going to get a bald cap. Yeah. She's going to play Charles Barker. Yeah, and that's why I love her. She's down for shit like that, you know. I'm going to take Port-a-Ponty Sling Shop from my last week. Yeah, of course. Come on. Can I tell you what I found out last night on that?

Yes. So I guess they wouldn't let them put human poop in there. So they filled it with dog poop. That's worse. And then unbeknownst to Stivo, some crew members went and shit in there anyway. That is when Knoxville, because I watched that interview, Knoxville's like, yeah, some crew guys dumped in there, too. Two species of poop.

And crew guys. That's not like one of us. Those dudes are. That's a heavy crew guys. Yeah, dude. Oh, there's meat in there. That's a union poop. That's a union poop.

That's a union mandated 15 right there. A teamster shit. It's just like your, it's like completely appeals to your lizard brain where it's like that is horrifying. What if you did get locked in? The worst has happened. Yeah. And then when he lands and he runs out and tries to hug everyone.

Oh, God. That's because he's, it's fun. He's in a good. mood when he lands. Probably because he's not dead. Right. Also, at Steveo, he was probably on a lot of drugs at that time.

Yes. On drugs and that sense of release knowing like, I got to do this, I got to do this, I got to do this. I got to do this. And I'm alive. Yeah. The next thing that happens is a shower.

Sean, your final pick. Man, this is tough. It's brutal, dude. It really is. I'm going to go, there are just so many. We'll do some honorable mention. For sure.

I'm going to say the bikini. Yeah. Because it looked. and your face. Horribly. You're not a bee guy? Horribly. Because it's on his actual penis.

And they take the queen bee out of the box. And they're like, here's the queen. And then they put the queen on the tip of his penis. The other bees don't like that. And then Knoxville's going over there is like, well, I think they're going to come find the queen, Steveo. And he's like holding his hands up. He's like, don't you go moving now.

They're going to sting the queen now. They're trying to come home and build the castle. That's going to be a crazy sensation. It gives him like a footlong bee penis And he's standing there That's a really good punk band by the way A foot long bee penis Yeah, yeah

Yeah, that's right Luzza man, side stage But they're good Side stage But just the fear I don't know I just And he's getting stung the whole time

Yeah I just it's crazy dude It's just none Your reaction to it You're still like Nah I'm not fucking with that B's on my dick That's the worst thing

Yeah Bees on my dick Because I got no remorse Bs on my dick I fuck the courts I got bees on my dick Oh my God That's better than real bees on my dick

Yeah That's crazy Yeah that's like Jerry Seinfeld B story on my dick Bees on my dick Bees on my dick People say it shit

But they ain't Isaac I've never seen Jackass I don't have a pick I will cede my pick to you guys Oh man What's your favorite SML sketch You know that they

Jackass was almost an S&L thing. What? Yeah. Please don't destroy or something? It was like before the Lonely Island. I was reading up on that last night. It was like MTV, Comedy Central, Spike, but then S&L pitched them a little bit,

but they didn't want them. MTV gave them the most creative control. That's why they went with MTV. But that's crazy that Jackass got to be. You imagine them? No, it wouldn't work at all. Like, and then a Will Ferrell's here? Well, no.

Yeah. Well, Isaac doesn't have a pick. What's your biggest fear, injury-wise? Oh, God. So many. There are so many to choose from. What animal you most scared of? Oh, yeah.

On your dick. Yeah. On your dick. I would go wasp probably. Yeah, wasp on the deal. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe a hummingbird. I wouldn't want that.

You know what I'm going to pick up? That's actually a collection of short stories. There's one where they tie weeband down and there's a vulture that takes meat out of his jockstrap. And this is for fun? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if that's for money. For the fun of the viewer. If we're dick related, the whale shark gummer.

Oh, yeah. They put Steve on like a mesh short and they fill. and they fill it up with shrimp or krill and they'd throw him in the ocean I don't want my dick by crue The dick mouse with his leg Yeah

They did the bear They put salmon on on dangers Right here and let a bear Into their room And they covered him in honey Buddy's with danger Aaron He's around Portland Yeah

I know the guy To recap David you went first You took the shopping cart jousing Nutball The Paper Cups Spermathon and Fat Fuck skateboarding

Spencer you went second you took the high five, the golf carts, party boy, the riot control, and Sir Marcus. I went third, I took his butter being okay, fireworks, big red rocket, hippo hardware toilet and the porta party sling shot. Sean, you went last,

he took the golf courts, air horn, the rental car destruction derby, the jet engine, high line oranges, and bikini. Man, that's good. The one that was hardest for me to leave off was when Johnny Knoxville returned to kick against the USC.

Why didn't you leave that off? I left it off because, like, I think it appealed to me as a football player, Yeah, it's fair. Whereas the sketch, like, I'm like, I know they didn't really hit him that hard. There were a lot of good football ones. Like, didn't they have, like, Jared Allen just, like, lay him out one time? They did.

All the bull stuff scared me. Yeah. He said something about, he's like, Jared, Jared, your sister's wearing your uniform or something like that. Yeah, it like, pissed him off. Because they called it the blind side, I think. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, Jess, I forgot about that.

There, I mean. There were so many good ones, dude. The one where they, like, trick bam into doing the wind tunnel and they throw a snake in there. Oh, yeah. He's like, genuinely is scared. He's scared of snakes. He's actually afraid of snakes. He's like, real. He's like, guys, stop. Yeah, he was like, pissed afterwards. And Johnny's like, are you crying? He goes, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. They fake kidnapped Brad Pitt. That was a real big deal. Oh, yeah. They just took him out of some Hollywood club on the street in 2000, just put him in a van and people thought he got kidnapped. There's one that racially doesn't hold up, but the taxi driver one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk to Aaron about that a little bit. And that would, that was terrible. I bet it was terrified.

That would freak me out because for a while, I think you're in the trunk and you think you're going to die. Yeah. That one's a bit too far. And then, but then at the end, he's got the fake beard and they show him footage and it's all their pubes. Holy fuck that. That is crazy. How much can you do to a guy? There's just so many good ones, dude.

And let me tell you, I loved it. As a 12-year-old before my frontal cortex developed, I was all about it. It was a real fucking scene. Yeah, dude. Well, we want to hear yours. Hit us up at all fantasy podcast at gmail.com. Shot to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Where, for less than the price of a spending a cup of coffee, you can get yourself auction,

This or that episode's live episodes. You can sign up for a few months for the price of coffee out here at Sunset Junction. That's for goddamn right. You get footage of me punching Sean in the nut. All right. Whoa. You can also see him lick the shiny off of Ian's lips. Lick the shiny off my lips.

That's our only fan. Shout to everyone on the AFV subreddit. Shout out to our wonderful producer. Isaac Haley on the ones and twos. A man we love a man with whom we could not do all fantasy everything. You're the best. A man who is always impeccably dressed. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. It is, dude. And always impeccably tuning our audio. Tolerate. On the ones and twos. On the ones and twos. Evenly keel. Shout to St.Carmel.

Shout to Franco. Shut to sit the two. Shot to Hodgey. It's more important than all that. Tune to get next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy, everything. Chicago. Bow, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now. Yeah.

That was a head gum podcast.