All Fantasy Everything - Karaoke Jams (w/ Bri Pruett, Sean Jordan and David Gborie)

Episode Date: July 6, 2017

Fill in your slip, drink 9 cocktails and take the stage, we're drafting karaoke jams. The regular crew is joined by comedian/former KJ Bri Pruett. ENJOI!!! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The episode that was once an ape, but then there was a black monolith appeared, and the apes gathered around it. And the leader of the civilization of apes carefully approached it, touched it. And in that moment, evolution occurred, not slowly through natural selection, but all at once, leading us to a catastrophic war with apes later. Those might be two different movies. Are those two different movies? I think it's one movie. It's one movie, right?

I'll tell you what, that started out shaky, but then... I landed it. I landed the plane. Fucking Sully Sullenberger over here. Sully Sullenberger of the podcast intro game.

I'm the Sully Sullenberger of the All Fantasy Editing Podcast. We're going to end up on the podcast. I consider myself the Denzel Washington in flight of the All Fantasy Everything. Which Denzel Washington are you guys?

Oh, man. Oh, John Q. John Q. Hey, dude. John Q? Why would you pick John Q? Give me a gun and a sick kid. I'm John Q.

I guess so. All day. That is crazy to me. Didn't it not work out for him? Give him a heart. I don't think it did work. I don't think it worked out for him. I don't think John Q worked, though.

No. I think John Q got murked, but the kid ended up all right. Are you the Denzel Washington as John Q's act, though? Or Training Day. I mean, I was in Echo Park last night. No, you can't do it. You can't. You're not.

That's crazy. I love you, but you're not him in Training Day. Come on, man. Who does that make me, Ethan Hawke or David Ethan Hawke? Are we both Ethan Hawke? Are we both Ethan Hawke? Are we both Ethan Hawke? Don't make us fucking Ethan Hawke. Come on, man.

I want to be smiley. If I can be smiley, that'd be tight. You can't just... Dog me in the mouth of my own pet? This is about Denzel Washington. I think I'm Ethan Mendes and you're the kid. Okay. Yeah.

Am I still Denzel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're still Denzel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're still Denzel. Eva, baby. And I just don't say anything. That kid didn't say one word. No. While his whole life crumbled around in one day.

Still gave the performance of his lifetime. Oh, and you know who's left? Breathe and Huck. Oh, Breathe and Huck. Yes. Yeah. I hope that this isn't the first time someone has said that. Compared me to Ethan Hawk? No, I just called you Breathe and Hawk. Well, so let's hope it sticks, gang.

Which Denzel Washington are you? Philadelphia. Oh, shit. Because I fight for the innocent, and I'm a strong ally to the gay community. You grew so much. You weren't at first. At first, you were skeptical. Yep. Yeah. And you wear like a corduroy suit. And I got a sweet mustache. Yeah, you do have a sweet mustache.

And I'm Antonio Banderas. I liked him in that. Wow, yeah. I watched Philadelphia once on a, like a pre-Netflix and chill, but at a Netflix and chill thing. And I, it was such a bad idea. Yeah. I went so over this girl. I'm always about sexually transmitted disease.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't know. I was like. He thought it was about the Eagles. I did. I was like, Maki Wahlberg. I had never seen Philadelphia before. And I was like.

How old were you? Gosh, I must have been 22, 21. Yeah. I didn't know any better. That's a big mistake. I don't even know. You know what? I wasn't.

I was 20. Maybe 19. Wait. You couldn't even any better. That's a big mistake. I don't even know. You know what? I wasn't. I was 20. Maybe 19. Wait. You couldn't even go to a bar afterwards and have a drink. I was 19 years old. And yeah, just weeping openly. And when that Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen comes on at the end, you're just like.

Seriously. Did you get after it though? Still did. Still got after it. Still got after it. That's my boy. I've never fallen behind by exposing my softer side to people. Oh God, no. People love it though? Still did. Still got after it. Still got after it. That's my boy. I've never fallen behind by exposing my softer side to people.

Oh God, no. People love it. They love it. He wants. Boy, which Denzel are you? I lost a brother to that. No. You know what?

I'm going to say, this is a weird one. I'm going to say interracial Latina marriage, Mississippi Masala. Mississippi Masala is the best. Denzel Washington. He is so fine in that. I've never seen Mississippi Masala. He is fine is the best. Denzel Washington. He is so fine in that movie.

I've never seen Mississippi Masala. He is fine with an O. Really? That's the movie that me, my mom, my grandmother, all the women watch and just lose our shit. Yeah, really? Because he's so fine in that movie. Isn't he scientifically supposed to be the most handsome actor of all time? He's beautiful.

Yeah, it's crazy. Where they did like, because face symmetry, I guess, has something to do with it. And apparently he's got like the perfect face. I believe it. It's crazy. He they did like, because face symmetry, I guess, has something to do with it. And apparently he's got like the perfect face. I believe it. It's crazy. He passes the eye test, baby. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you look at him and you're like, oh, I don't, I'm a man who doesn't look like that. Yeah. Guess I'll tell jokes for money. I love that you're proud. What the fuck else am I supposed to do when he's out here? We're in a business. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Jordan joining us here.

Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on the gram. Anything to promote? I'll be in Denver for like six shows in the third week in July. Yeah. And so, you know, check the website. Sean Jordan Comedy. We're also joined by comedian Brie Pruitt. Yeah.

From one of our Portland, one of the Portland, Oregon expats living down here in Los Angeles. Right. At Brie Pruitt, which is B-R-I-P-R-U-E-T-T. Thank you. On Twitter. What are you on Instagram? Same. All across all platforms.

Oh. Locked it up. Consistency. Locked it up. Anything you want people to come see? I got a bunch of shows in LA this week. I'm doing The Business on Monday. Wednesday, I've got Rod Stewart Live. And Friday,

I'm doing Harlequin in good old Burbank, California. Ooh, Burbank. Going to the bank. Burbank. My dad's going to be there. People can meet him. See Gary Pruitt. Come meet Big Pruitt. Big Papa Pruitt. To my right, The Jizzlant.

The Jizzlant. The Jizzlant. David Borey. CoolGuyJokes87 on the gram. What are you up to? I'm going to be on TV the day this comes out. Watch me on Viceland tonight at 1030. Party legends. Party legends. I'm telling a story and I'm animated.

And if anyone has heard even one other episode of this podcast, they know you are, in fact, a party legend. I do what I can. You know, I'm out here making moves for the little guy. I've seen you party. You put in work, man. It's legendary. As far as I know, that show's about you. It was based on my life.

Me and Bushwick. You and Bushwick. Those are the two people it's about. Man, we can't even get in the same room together anymore. Oh, yeah, Bushwick Bill's on there, too, right? Yeah, that's the gnarliest story ever. Dude, his story is so buck. It's not like a party story as much as like a rock bottom.

It's a very raw life. It seems like every a party story as much as like a rock bottom. It seems like every one of his stories is so sad. He wanted his mom to kill him basically so she could get insurance money. Wait, he told that story on the, he told the why, how he got his eye out story on Party Legend? Yeah, and then they animated it. That's not a party story. But he was partying.

All right. He was, I mean, if there are drugs involved, you're partying. I don't think, I hope that's not involved, you're partying. I don't think, I hope that's not the, I was partying on the porch right before I got here. Look out. Yeah. Keep your eye.

I'm going to go party behind the 7-Eleven a little later. Any shout outs? I want to say thank you to everyone who came out in Toronto at the Comedy Bar and who came out in New York City who are fans of the podcast. So many who came out. Shout out to you. Appreciate that. Shout out to you. Appreciate that. Shout out to Canada.

A happy 150th birthday. Congrats. Yeah. Good job. A friend of ours, Helen, her brother Jeff, had a rough day the other day. Yeah.

And he told Helen... What did he do? Something like say, kosh into the wind? In front of other people? And then he said, felonious munch, which people might think was a week apart, but it was like 20 minutes apart that I said the wind in front of other people. And then he said felonious munch, which people might think

was a week apart, but it was like 20 minutes apart that I said the two dumbest things. He had a rough day and he texted Helen that he listened to this

and it like helped him out and it was really cool. I almost cried when she told me. I think she might have even been crying a little bit. It was awesome. So Jeff.

You'd both just finished watching Philadelphia. I mean. Shout out to Jeff. Yeah. Shout out Jeff. We love you jeff thanks for listening man hell yeah uh yeah and again thank you for everyone who coming out with it's fucking amazing anytime anyone comes out yeah it's just like you know it's like you you fool that's what i want to say because the stand-up's no good you know yeah you fool you came for the charisma yeah right? I'll give you a little bit of it Yeah, the post game A little up top, a little at the end

Today we are drafting Kataoke Jams Kataoke Yeah, Kataoke Bree, you're here You were a KJ for Still are a KJ No, no

No longer a KJ Yeah, I was a KJ for like nine years Are you looking for any more KJ work? Hey man, I'll step up Man, remember when we went to the Eagle Rock? Yes And the longer a KJ. Yeah, I was a KJ for like nine years. Are you looking for any more KJ work? Hey, man, I'll step up. Man, remember when we went to the Eagle Rock? Yes. And the lady was KJing. It was her first day.

Yes. And I was like, let me behind that soundboard. I wanted Jesus to take the wheel so bad. What's happening? Your Jesus. I mean, it's a lot like. Jesus take the wheel. It's already singing.

It's happening. I'm not going to sing. I'm not picking it. Are we singing today? Is that what's happening? I think everybody gives a little sample. I think we're going to have to sing a little bit. It'll happen a little bit.

Being a KJ is kind of like being a radio jockey. You've got to keep the levels right. You've got to keep the energy in the room going. I believe they're called disc jockeys. What? Radio disc jockey. Yeah, radio disc jockey. There's no more discs.

I didn't think it was going to be taken that serious Wake up and smell the millennium Everybody stopped traffic when I said that Those mp3 jockeys Sitting in their booths It's a hell of a job Songs don't always come in You don't always put them up in order

Do you ever think about Somebody just did a huge high energy song. Yes. Maybe I won't do another one. This is when I'll do that weird like somebody wants to sing a Pink Floyd song. You throw in a 10 minute Tool song and it's like Friday night at 11 p.m. That slips going right in the trash, buddy boy. Yo, I'm glad to know that.

Unless you slide in 40, 50 bucks, I'm not playing that. How often did that happen? Did people- Constantly. And you know what? The bar that I worked at is closed now, so I can say anything. Right? No Yelp reviews are coming through.

Well, then let's get into the meat, because I, and I understand that Ian Carmel feels the same way. I believe Sean Jordan feels the same way. I'm already agreeing. I don't even know what you're going to say. I hate dudes who just come in ruining the vibe of the whole room. I hate that. Take the temperature of the room.

Take the temperature. Feel it out. Just hate that. Take the temperature of the room. Feel it out. Just feel it. You can tell that we don't want to listen to like a rock right now. That's jukebox politics and karaoke politics. Yeah, read the room, though. I hate it. That's why this draft is interesting to me because I don't know if we're drafting for like midnight. I don't know if we're

drafting at like 7pm in a dive bar. Well, you can play jazz. You can give a timeline. Set the table and then put the food. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. David's been known to tell a whole goddamn story before. Yeah, I've heard the podcast before. I know when you set up a Mazda commercial what's happening.

Grounded for the summer. I know what's happening. You're a young man in Elizabeth. You're driving a Toyota, but you want a Mazda. That's a tale's oldest time. It's 1999. Oh, the year was, my friend. The year of our Lord, 1998, but it was 99.

Yeah, so what are good strategies for getting your song up at Cario? Are there any hints or anything? Yeah. Yeah. Can you spell some wisdom? What, am I supposed to start dropping my,

my picks already? No, no, no, no. What are you saying? To get your song chosen if you want to sing Cario.

Yeah, so like don't drop a 10 minute tool song. That's good advice. I have some personal faves. Yeah. Like, and this is not a pick

that I think anyone would pick, so I'm just going to drop it. You know, the song Climax by Usher. Yeah. Yeah. It's an incredible song and I love it so much. It's actually, it is a good song. That beat is so good. just going to drop it. You know the song Climax by Usher? Yeah. It's an incredible song, and I love it so much. It is a good song.

And it's really challenging. And if I know the person who puts it in, you go next. And that's a personal KJ policy that my regulars would just know. They're like, look, we learned. I learned Climax. Okay, you're up. You're next, because that's what I want.

Def Cop falls into reading the room a little bit, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What songs do KJs hate? Like, do you ever just see somebody, and now we've... Maybe we should save this for the end. Let's save that question. I'll write it down, though.

Real quick, though. There are songs, though, and it's like, you know, think about politics. Think about songs where it's like, okay, I'm a KJ in Portland, Oregon. Am I gonna, you know, there's a bachelorette party of white girls who wants to sing Biggie? I don't know. Maybe not.

Maybe I don't want that to happen. I would always think, and this is just the one song I am going to say before we get into it. I always personally hate it when people karaoke forgot about Dre. It never ever goes well. Very popular song. We'll get into all mean, we'll get into all this. I saw some kids. Yeah. We'll get into it.

I don't want to name any. Very popular karaoke jam. Real quick, a little note about Usher. So when he was like 16, he met Chili. Oh, you mean Raymond? Yeah, Usher Raymond, the very same. He met Chili, and he was trying to hit on her. And she's like, you're 16, dude.

And I met him again when he was trying to hit on her. And she's like, you're 16, dude. And I met him again when he was like 19, I think. And she's like, this motherfucker grew up. And then they were together for a long time. I love that story that he had the confidence. Chili from TLC, like the girl. I didn't have the confidence to hit on a bowl of chili. Nah, I'm saying.

My lack of confidence did lead me into a lot of chili. Yeah. Head first. A lot of chili days, a lot of chili nights. Yeah, that's the one thing. Alone in that bed. Much like Usher, we were both consumed with chili. And wearing a sweater vest with no shirt underneath. That's the thing y'all heard in college.

The other day, Bree and I were on a road trip, and I got two chili dogs and jalapeno poppers, and then we went and shared a hotel, and I was like, damn, maybe I shouldn't have got that. And it went all right. I didn't blow up the spot. You're great. It waited until like a day and a half.

It was a minute. It had to hurt. It wasn't dank, I'll tell you that. You want to tell them why? Because the line at Taco Bell was so slow. Dude, this line in fucking Redding was not moving at Taco Bell. Slow food. Tell me I've ever left a Taco Bell line in my life.

I am shocked to hear it happen. It was crazy. I couldn't believe it. Yeah. This is a devastating blow to your personal brand. I was cutting myself when we left. I was like, dude, I don't want to be doing this. And then we went, where did we go?

It was my first time at a Wienerschnitzel. And he ordered a bean burrito. They were out. They didn't have any. They only had onions. We can give you an bean burrito. They were out. They didn't have any. They only had onions. So I go in. We can give you an onion burrito. I was like, listen, I don't.

Boy, don't fuck with onions, is what I said, as I was holding him by the collar. We determined the order of the draft with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Played between the three of you. One, two, three, shoot situation. One, two, three, shoot. And I will narrate it, as is my want. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, Bree wins!

The KJ herself wins. Before you pick, what type of draft is it? Oh, thank you, David. It is a serpentine draft. So like a snake. Sort of a snake. You like slithering through the bush. If you pick fourth in the first round,

you're going to pick first in the second. There it is. That's kind of the way we do it around here at the Open. It's like that old game on the Nokia phones. Oh,. There it is. That's kind of the way we do it around here at the old fancy. It's like that old game on the Nokia phones. Oh, Snake. Snake, where you just kind of. It's a lot like that. It's like that old game on the Nokia phone.

It's a Tetris draft. That girl, Lindsay, who went on a couple dates with. Really trying to gauge if she's still interested. Just screaming into the phone, Nicole! Yeah, that old game. She still married the wrong guy. Kids with the wrong guy. Just screaming into the phone, Nicole! Yeah. That old game. She still married the wrong guy. Kids with the wrong guy. Whole life with the wrong guy.

Gross. Brie, what will the order be? Laura, I love you. Today's pick and karaoke jams. I might put myself last. Oh, so you get to go, but you, yeah, you get it. Yeah, and also because

I kind of want to read the room. I feel like I almost have too much information. You know what I mean but you, yeah, you get it. Yeah, and also because I kind of want to read the room. Okay. I feel like I almost have too much information. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm going to go David Borey number one. God damn it. Ian Carmel number two. My friend Sean Jordan number three.

You are Sean. And then me, so we're going to go right in the order of the room here. Okay. David goes first. With the first pick of the karaoke jams, all fantasy of the draft, David Borey selects. Oh, you thought I was going to lay it up? Nobody thought that. Not even for a second.

You probably get a draft like peanut butter or something. First pick of the karaoke jams. Shout out because I saw my girl Sam Varela do this. Changed my life. The Pokemon theme song. Wow. Do you remember it? I want to be the very best. Pokemon, give it all up to me.

You're not saying any words. I heard two words. Pokemon. Pokemon. I didn't say any words. I heard two words. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon.

Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon.

Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon. Sometimes I see that in karaoke and there's an extra verse. Is there really? Yeah. Yeah.

Because. Like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? It starts, I wanna be the very best like no one ever was. Catching Pokemon is the test. I don't know. To train them is my cause. Pokemon. It's so much fun.

There's another verse. A lot of TV themes will slide in an extra verse, like an extended cut for karaoke. And that would be my caution. My caution the wind for that particular thing. But I just like it because it sounds like a real 80s guitar balance. Yeah. It is tight. It is like a classic TV theme.

Yeah. It's so much fun. And it's got the dramatic like, and then it goes down. Sing the Pokemon part again. You do it really well. Pokemon! It is good.

Executive Bruce and Marissa, is that your favorite pick that's ever happened on the entire history of this draft? Yes! I feel so good. It's a solid pick. The first solid pick David's ever had. You heard me deep, dude.

I will say, here's what I'll say. As a karaoke song, I'm on board. Yeah. If somebody put that on a jukebox, I'm karate chopping tables. I'm knocking over drugs. Oh, dude, someone's going to end up in the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my.

I'm spilling the sock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once the sock comes out, I can't put it back until it tastes blood. And a friend of the podcast, Mike Malloy, would be gooning somewhere with his leather jacket on. Or he'd be holding me back from gooning somewhere. He'd be like four feet away just gooning, being like, do it, dude. Do it. Do it.

As goalie as Malloy is, he usually keeps me out of trouble. God bless Mike Malloy. Pokemon theme. You know the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song has an extra verse that they would sometimes do on episodes? I begged and pleaded with her day after day and then she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way. Yeah, boy.

Yeah, come on. And explains that he gets on an airplane. Yeah, she gave me my Walkman. We gave her my ticket. I put my Walkman on. I said,

I might as well kick it. First class, yo, this is bad. Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like? Hmm.

I might be all right. And then you know what happens next? I whistle for a cab. That's when it comes. Yes, that's when it comes. Because he landed. So the cab is back in Philly? No, the cab was in LAX.

They make it look like he took a cab from Philly to LA. I'm one of those fools who love that. Uncle Phil could afford it. Oh, yeah. I tweeted about it, and I tried to figure out how much money it was, and there was an onslaught of people on the internet who were like, you motherfucker. There's a whole extra verse of that song, you ignorant fool. I mean, it's like $200 to take an Uber from here to San Diego.

It's like $200 to take an Uber from here to LAX. So that'd be like $300. You're just my favorite dude that you're like, I'm going to put some time in. You know, the funny thing about is, there was an extra part of the intro to the show. What? Like, look that up. They're like, in the intro, there's like, him sitting on an airplane. Well, yeah, because they can't just...

They shot it. Yeah, they shot it. It was like the first two episodes or something, right? That they played the whole song. I think so. And then they treated that section like the original Aunt Viv and gave it its walking papers. Oh, Aunt Viv. That was her severance package. You get this small chunk

of video from the intro, get the fuck out. I take it. God, I miss the old Aunt Viv so much. Y'all ever seen that Lucas Brothers moving company TV show?

They did a whole episode about Will Smith and the Aunt Viv phenomenon, like light skin, nicer Aunt Viv. Yeah. It's part of an alien conspiracy. I'm just saying, when she came back, she was

not as tough. First Aunt Viv was like a professor, and she got him to dance that episode. Way more interesting character. She was asking for money or something like that. Oh, I thought she bailed. I thought it was like a choice.

They fired her for a more light-skinned, TV-friendly, in the 90s sort of character. Fuck that. Yeah. Only at Viv, she was the truth, though. Yeah. And she was like, the character got dumber. Like, all of a sudden, she wasn't...

Less powerful in the household. Yeah, the whole deal. She was like a professor. That was her thing at first. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, she was just kind of like a housewife. Somebody tweeted at us, Will Smith standing in that empty living room.

Like yesterday. And I was like, damn. The last episode? We put that on my Instagram a few weeks ago. It hurts. That Ant-Man thing is like a lot. They did that to Charizard too. Just to take it back to Pokemon.

Yeah. Original Charizard. I have no idea who that is. Then they came back with Charmeleon and we're like, wait a second. I was used to a dragon. I like Charizard. Then they came back with Charmeleon and were like, wait a second. I was used to a dragon. I like Charizard. What the fuck is this Charmeleon? Fire-breathing, intimidating dragon.

Ridiculous. Charmeleon-er? Well, you tried, though. I get it. Yeah. Charmeleon-er? All right. I don't know shit about Pokemon.

I bet somebody's drawn that. Yeah, for sure. Like Charizard wearing a chain. I don't know shit about Pokemon. I bet somebody's drawn that. Yeah, for sure. Like Charizard wearing a chain. Sure. I don't know. I see that Charizard with gold teeth. Like a big cup. All gold teeth.

Yeah, a cup of that oil. That oil. Char-million. That wow. Pokemon theme song, out the gate. Have you sung it, or have you just seen it sung? I've just seen it sung. Do you have it in you to sing it at some point?

Yeah, I could. Absolutely do it. I can hear it. But here's what I was saying. We were talking about this earlier. I don't really like doing karaoke. You're not into singing it? No, I like watching it.

You're into being around it? I don't like doing it. I really like the idea. This is a dichotomy in performers, I think. Dichotomy. Smart word. Dichotomy. Huh?

Huh? Dichotomy. Keep going. I'm going to name my daughter dichotomy. Dichotomy. Smart word. Dichotomy. Huh? Huh? Dichotomy. Keep going. I'm going to name my daughter dichotomy. Dichotomy Jordan. Dichotomy. Because mom wanted her and dad didn't. Damn!

Breeze is effortlessly knowing how to use a dichotomy. It took me like 10 minutes to try to figure out how to say that word last week. Dichotomy of this prison cell. I don't like the dichotomy of this prison cell. So, some performers like karaoke. Some don't because I think the vibe is like I get paid to talk into a microphone that's not the vibe for me at all. Okay, tell me about that.

I'm just, I don't it's, I have more control when I'm using words that I made up and there's like, the song is always way longer than I thought. It's hard to know what to do when the musical breaks. No, it's definitely not like I'm too good for this. Karaoke scares the shit out of me.

Me too. My heart starts racing like a lunatic when I, like, if I'm, it's, like a lot of comics

have to get hammered before they do stand-up if they're newer. Sure. When I do karaoke, I have to be obliterated. I prefer karaoke to stand-up.

If all things being equal, I would rather go up there and fucking help out him. I don't want to, I don equal, I would rather go up there and fucking out hit. I would rather be in a band. I'm one of those people. I love stand up, but I fucking love singing. Ian, you are a good singer

and you could for sure do that. I don't know. I think it might be too late for you, boy. There are too many comments. I'll get out. I'll buy a fucking powerboat taxi. You don't going to see how far this goes. I'm about to pick your whole list, dude. Just to spite you. No, you won't.

Write it down right now and we'll check. I know a couple that are guaranteed. We've never played fucking battle chess like that. I got a couple on there. Dude, is that what's going down? No, I wouldn't dare. We're going to record an emergency second episode where we pick skatepipes.

I'm going to fuck up your whole life. It's just going to be me and you when I get the first five picks. I just like the idea of an emergency second episode. It's all like stairs and Sioux Falls. Nobody move. I did the goddamn comedy jam at Bridgetown. What song did you do?

I did it. I can't say it. Well, I'm going to say it in a second. I know you are. Actually, let's just have a beer. You're next. With the second pick of the All Fantasy Everything Karaoke Jams, Ian Carmel takes the tried and true song. Take a deep breath. It's not a unique one by any means, but I have to pick it.

It's my favorite one. What's Up by Four Non Blondes. I get real high and I scream to the top of my lungs. What's going on? And I say, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucking did that shit at Bridgetown with a live band. You were fucking nervous.

I was so nervous. I had about nine, ten drinks beforehand. Big ones. I didn't even mean to. I was just like, I kept drinking. I was like, I'm still nervous. I'm still nervous.

We're not talking about a thimble full of tequila here. We're talking about a... Because you have to go in kind of a bucket, like a Home Depot bucket full of tequila. Because you go in

for a sound check earlier, stone sober, and it's just you and the band, and you're like, ooh, I'm not hitting those notes the way I thought I was at karaoke.

Oh, damn. And so you get real nervous. I was so, I've never been more nervous, but then also never felt like. You murdered it. It was so fun. Having been there. Was the whole, was it a rev hall?

It was at the Crystal Ballroom, but it was in one of the smaller rooms, but it was packed. Was everyone singing with you? Yes. Yes, that is the best. That's the goal. That's what you want in a karaoke jam.

That's all I want. A familiar enough song where everybody is going to sing the hook with you. That's the goal. That's what you want in a karaoke jam. That's all I want. A familiar enough song where everybody is going to sing the hook with you. It's so beautiful. That's my favorite thing in karaoke. And what I think is a really strong thing in a karaoke song. Something that's going to unite the whole room and get them together. Stop conversations, but in a fun way. Where everyone's putting their hands up and waving and singing.

And that's you. You're like a room uniter. I know a lot of karaoke people who are like, I want to do a song that no one knows, slay it, so no one can sing with me and it's my moment. And those are non-performer people. Those are karaoke regular star types. And I kind of don't love that attitude as much.

I don't love it either. I mean, God bless those people and let them have a good time. But like, it is a little, when you see someone who's like a little too good and they're doing like this B-side kind of thing. They're changing the lyrics. They've got their own verse. They use the key change thing. Wait, people do that with their own verse?

Baby, you don't, like a lot of dudes would rap over songs, just do their own, like a freestyle. What? I got, also, this might blow y'all's minds to me. Rap over songs, just do their own, like a freestyle. What? Also, this might blow y'all's minds. Yeah. There are dudes who bring their instruments in. That's crazy. To do like a harmonica solo.

Oh, man. They're going to put in some Ray Charles or something, do a harmonica solo. They bring their mouth acts. What? That sounds like I like it, though. It's like a 55-year-old dude kind of move. I'm like I like it though. It's like a 55 year old dude kind of move. I'm in. There's a lot of dudes who have

their own Nicki Minaj verses, stuff like that. Their own Nicki Minaj verses? They're going to make a Nicki Minaj verse better. They'll sing a Nicki song and then drop a different verse into that, into the outro of the song. Like a different Nikki verse?

I don't like any of it. That's crazy. That's crazy. What's the problem in your mind? It makes me so angry thinking about a guy waking up, going to work, being like, oh shit, I forgot my harp. Gotta go back home, grab the Monica. That's what he calls it. My girl Monica. Grab the Monica. That's what he calls it.

My girl Monica. My girl Monica. Everyone thinks he's married, but he's like, no, this is Monica right here. Hey, guys, here's Monica. And they're like, dog, I thought you were married. It makes me so mad. You know, they don't have a spotlight. They're trying to make a little, you know, they're trying to find some star.

Starlight. Someone just wants a little shine. Yeah. And they just don't know the right way to get love. And then they gotta go back to their job in human resources I'm into everything except changing a Nicki Minaj verse

it's what I meant by that okay there's a particular person I'm thinking about right yeah they'd always sing you know

a Nicki Minaj song then they'd drop a verse from a different Nicki song into the outro we can and if I didn't if I didn't use the right track

they would get so livid at me. We could just say Shane Torres. We talk about him. Truffle butter. Oh my God, have you guys heard truffle butter? Hey, this isn't the butter that got me in the truffle. You don't sound like me at all. My beard's coming in.

I will say, Cher, I was in New York last week, and his beard looked the best I've ever seen it look. Sure. Solid three out of ten. He's amazing. I would do anything for him. Three out of ten? You get three hairs out of ten possible?

Three hairs out of ten inches. Oh, great. All right. Again with this. I love him so much. We went out to a real fancy dinner, and Martha Stewart was there. It was fun. What?

What did she smell like? You left that out of the text. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Martha Stewart was there. What the fuck, dude? I didn't get close enough to smell her. What was she wearing? Just like a soft? It was like a nice, it was a middle,

it was like an early summer sort of like pants, nice sandal with like a shirt and like a light, real light scarf. Yeah. And she looked like she was having the time of her life. Yeah, but she's done time, so every day is gravy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, she was doing knuckle push-ups.

Doing those cot, those cot presses, the prism workout. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cot presses, yeah. Was Snoop also there? Snoop was not. Snoop was not. Snoop was maybe. Wouldn't that be great if that's how you told the story? I saw Martha Stewart. Yeah.

She was dressed up, light cotton pant. Oh, yeah, Snoop Dogg was there. Snoop Dogg was there. Snoop was actually performing. He had a chunky sandal. Yeah, dude, Martha Stewart was there, and I watched Shane Torres eat foie gras. I watched him eat truffles, dude. I took your boy out for a nice little dinner.

Got a Michelin star under his belt. Oh, my God. That's the merit badge. I'm trying to. Did he wear a jean jacket? He did. Really? Or a denim shirt.

I have a photo of it. He's got a denim shirt on. Oh, yeah, denim shirt, right? There was some jean in there. He's got his Conan shirt on, I think. Yeah, it was. He was like, what should I wear? I was like, just put your Conan shit on.

What should I wear? Just put your Conan shit on. It was fucking dope. We just wanted to celebrate Shane Torres. He's amazing. He's the best. He deserves a little taste of the silver spoon. He deserves everything in the world, and he'll get it all.

It's all coming to him. He's amazing. Absolutely. What's up at Four Non Blanc? I said this on a previous podcast, but I likestone. He deserves everything in the world. He deserves everything. And he'll get it all. It's all coming to him. He's amazing. Absolutely. What's up at Four Non Blanc? I said this on a previous podcast, but I like to insert my own age at the beginning. Yep. So now I'm like, 32 years and my life is still... Because I am still trying to get up that great big hill.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'm not there yet. 100%. Yeah. But yeah, it's just a fucking... I love anthemic songs, and that one's anthemic. And the range is perfect.

It's not a really- For you. For me, I guess, yeah. I mean, it's a lady singing it, and that's a tough song for a lady, because it's that high belter. Yeah. Yeah. But that's great. I love a good anthemic song.

It's so, you feel that song. You feel it. I've sang that song a million times. I'm just- Like in bars. I'm just now learning that you can sing, you don't have to like, just with stand up and everything else, you're like, I'm a loud person. And that is

a loud song, and I sing it loud, and I'm like, oh wait, you don't always, there's a microphone, you don't always have to sing super loud. But it's kind of awesome. That's where the therapy comes from, you know? It's fun. I love it. I love getting loud. I love being loud. And that's a good fucking loud song. It's great. What's Up by 4 and I love it. I love getting loud. I love being loud.

And that's a good fucking loud song. It's great. What's Up by 4 and I'm On. I've been karaoke-ing that shit since day one. Really? Yeah, since day one. I stole it from my big sister

who's got a way better voice than me. Does she? I've never seen her sing. Jessica Blaylock? Oh my God. Really? Fucking amazing.

She looks like a good singer. She's like, yeah. Now that I know that. You guys are, you know, you're the belter types. Really? Fucking amazing. She looks like a good singer. She's like, yeah. Now that I know that. You guys are, you know, you're the belter types. We are a belter family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She has a different dad, and my dad's a belter. Which means my mom is also a belter.

My mom's a belter. Anyway. You're a double belter. I'm double belter, dude. Double hot topic belts. Did we tell that story on this podcast? Yeah. I think we did okay yeah yeah yeah

took Sean to the mall we were like he was gonna buy a belt and I was like I will buy the belt but it has to be from Hot Topic there wasn't even

a close option nothing not even anything I could be like well it was a dare like it was they were all so buck I'm like

they had hella studs on them shit hanging off them I'm like I couldn't youlla studs on them. Shit hanging off them. I'm like, I couldn't. You're too much of a stud on your own. You don't need a belt with studs. I needed to hear that. I needed to hear it. I like it.

You're a stud muffin. Everything we say about Shane, the nice stuff, double for you. None of the bad stuff. Hear that, Shane, you dickhead? God, we're going to get, this is probably the buckest we've got on him. We're going to get some text messages. I love you, buddy. He'll be out here in August.

He'll be on the pod. He can defend himself. Third pick. I've heard him try to defend himself. Third pick. Oh, great. Sean Jordan. It's going to be...

Oh, my God. It's going to be... So I can only do two songs well, and this is one of them, Careless Whisper. That's fine. Yeah. Don't get sounded like you didn't mean it. I like it. I didn't mean it.

I love it. I like that song. It's a slow dance. And I only do it. We were talking about reading the room. I read the room, and I'm like, are they going to be cool with this? And if I get the vibe that they're not going to be, then I won't do it. But a lot of times people are like,

oh, shit. Look at this careless whisper. R.I.P. George Michael. Yeah, R.I.P. First of all. The man. What's your favorite part to sing a careless whisper? Again, I don't like singing at all.

Sean, we are all singing today. Let's hear it. Time can never mend The careless whispers Of a true friend Or good friend. That's my favorite part. Doesn't matter.

The words are right there. That's one of those ones where I would love to see somebody bring their own instrument and just wail on a saxophone in the middle of it. Am I thinking about the same song? I don't know.

I'm never gonna dance again. Wait, that's your favorite beat? I've got no rhythm. That's your favorite part to sing of that song? Yeah, just the very beginning. Because it's so soft and people aren't ready for it. It really calms everyone down. I like it. That's crazy.

I guess you're not a belter. Sean, that's a really hard song. Yeah, which I always realize that when I'm singing it. And you know, you're a fan of rap music and hip-hop. Why don't you rap a rap song? I'm sorry, this is just my first pick. I got four more. Sure.

But I'm saying, you just said you got two songs that you sing well. All right. And actually, I wouldn't even say I do it well. I'm confident with the lyrics. That's what I should say is I don't need the monitor for that song. That would be a great song to do in like a multi-generational karaoke setting, you know, like a dive bar where there's a lot of regulars, you know, who remember the 80s. But where people can smoke inside.

Yeah, yeah. In South Dakota. Somewhere in like North Carolina where they smoke still, sure. Yeah. I'm with that. That's uniting. I've seen you sing it. You do great. Somewhere in North Carolina where there's smoke still. Sure. Yeah. I'm with that. That's uniting. I've seen you sing it. You do great.

You do this kind of like. I really try. I do a lot of falsetto in it. You do a lot of this back to back dancing where it kind of looks like you're cross country skiing that I really like. Oh, man. Yeah. We just.

That just. We were just in the roost. Yeah. This one. This one right here. Yeah. What was that song? Side step.

Side step. Roller skating and like propelling yourself forward. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. You might see your boy on Venice Boardwalk. What was that song? Side step, side step, side step. Roller skating and propelling yourself forward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. You might see your boy on Venice Boardwalk. I was like, roller skates, no shirt, tight shorts, singing Careless Whisper.

Never gonna dance again. Guilty feet have got no real... He's carrying a boombox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Backwards skating. Couple skate, but it's him in the boombox. Yes. Just my juicy little apple of a rump.

That was weird. I don't know why that was weird I want to like that but I didn't It was weird because I said juicy I think Maybe juicy was wrong Apple of a rump I think it was the rump too I'm so in favor of you celebrating your great looks Because you don't have good looks you have great looks

But something about that juicy little apple of a rump threw me off. Maybe it was like the inflection was strange. Yeah. That was a tough one to swallow. We'll get into it at Couples Therapy. Thrupples Therapy. Rumples Therapy? Which we had to start going to after the felonious monk thing.

Who said that? We immediately went to seven straight days of Thrupples Therapy. I mean, I believe I requested that that be deleted from the episode. It was from the record. You told Marissa to pour water on the computer. Pour water all over everything. She didn't. And that didn't happen.

So now everybody knows that I'm a fucking moron. It hit the airwaves. Laura's parents probably listen to that. If they listen to this podcast, that's the least of your concerns. She goes, I want to have my mom listen. I was like, you listen first. Yeah. And you decide if you want your mother to listen.

You've got to be the food tester for the queen. Because I would be thrilled if they never heard any of these. Yeah, yeah. My mom listens. I love my mom, and I'm glad she listens. Yeah. Kelly Jordan doesn't know what a podcast is, so I'm still safe on that tip. Careless Whisper.

It's amazing. You're going to get safe on that tip. True. Careless Whisper. It's amazing. You're going to get chicks with that song. Yeah. I bet. I like the music scene so much. It seems like you can sing it with your eyes closed a lot. Yeah. Again, I don't need the monitor.

Those are high notes, John. Well, I didn't. Again, I don't do it well. I can't hit it. I don't do it. I just use the falsetto as like a safety blanket. It's a cover-up. Yeah.

It's hot sauce on mediocre food. Never gonna. And sometimes I'll throw a fuck in there. I get mad when I do it. Yeah. But I'll say it. Never fucking dancing again. Like the damn band.

Like I'll throw a fuck in there and I'm like, all right. Because if you're doing bad, you need that laugh. Sure. And I don't like doing it, but I'm guilty. That's a good. I feel like that, if the room is already frothed up a little bit and you go in with that, you're in good shape. That's just one man's opinion. That's one man's opinion.

I think it keeps the party mixing. Yeah, I think so, too. That's what I think. I don't know. It's not a party starter, but it's definitely a party continuum. To go back to reading the room, it's... No, not at all. Yeah, I feel like it's a song that people get excited.

They're like, fucking yeah, dude. Get it. You forgot about that song when you hear it. You're like, oh yeah, this at all. Yeah, I feel like it's a song that people get excited. They're like, fucking yeah, dude, get it. You forgot about that song when you hear it. You're like, oh yeah, this song rules. I can see myself standing at the bar waiting to order a drink, and you start tearing into that song, and I can't stop my hips from moving. No, I'm swaying. I'm swaying.

I'm swaying. With the outro. Here's the thing. With karaoke, I've found that as long as you're earnestly trying, people don't get mad at you for being a bad singer. It's if you're up there being a dickhead, making fun of the song. I even get mad. I'm like, stop being, you're disrespecting this fun thing.

The whole process. Respect the song. Yeah. I don't like it when people get up and try to make a joke out of it. Unless you're a really good singer and you make a joke out of it. But now we're, you know, two strips of bacon. Now we're at a concert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we're at a concert. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now we're at a Bruno Mars concert all of a sudden. We're now rounding to our expert, Brie Pruitt. It's time for your first pick, the final pick of the first round. Well, I learned a lot from this round, which is that it's a free-for-all. We're not – Oh, no. Yeah. This is not –

Blood in the water. There's plenty plenty uh uh picks on the board uh so i'm i'm just gonna educate right and let you know i i want everybody to to set the bar on fire when they when they sing a karaoke song right i think pokemon is that's close right people are gonna get lit don't encourage them um when i am trying to sing a carrie's i'm crewed up right i got my people around me i i like to give other people stuff to do right i like my people dancing around me right so the way to set off an audience of our generation right we're all like late 20s early 30s yeah when you hear that do do do doot, doot-doot, doot-doot, doot-doot, watch everybody lose their minds.

My pick is Yeah by Usher, Ludacris, and Lil Jon. And then you pick your boys or gals. You're like, okay, you're going to be my Ludacris. You're going to be my Lil Jon. Pick a stranger. Pick the star of the bar. Maybe there's a party of like 20 people. You pick their ringleader.

Suddenly, you're best friends with that crew. You're like, hey, buddy boy, you're my little John right now. He's like, yeah, anybody can do that. Remember the Dave Chappelle sketch? Everybody's jumping right into it. It ruined Dave Chappelle. It's terrible. Yeah, yeah.

Anybody can sing that ludicrous verse because it's very slow. It's pretty simple. I, your your girl like to destroy the bar by doing all three verses myself really getting into the singing I love Usher I'm a big Usher fan I just love his party I think Usher is a great like

karaoke party maker so yeah yeah is my signature midnight song midnight drop that shit I don't care if you gave me $50 I'm singing it midnight and it's gonna be yeah. And that's gonna fuel the next two and a half hours of that night. It's also a pretty common song. I did it in Omaha about a month ago,

and it set whatever dive bar in Omaha was on fire. Why did Ludacris throw an R into Usher's name just for that song? Urscher got the voice to make your booty go. I think it's an Atlanta thing. Yeah, I think it's a southern thing. Urscher, baby. your booty go. I think it's an Atlanta thing. Yeah, I think it's a Southern thing. Yeah, Usher.

Usher, baby. Usher. It was dank. I liked also that Usher, that was when they was doing the blazer with denim. That was that look going on, like the Zack Morris. The billionaire? That's what I like about the video. The blazer with denim.

It's like Tim Allen. What are you talking about? It was tight. He looked amazing. Everybody in the bar claps when they say make the booty go clap, and then everybody claps too. I like saying, we want a lady in the street. We're bringing a bag. You point the microphone toward the audience, and then they say it.

It's a great way to feel like Beyonce for a second. I've never done that. It's so fun. Those are those beautiful moments during karaoke when you feel like you're like, you get a small taste of like, this was this must be what it feels like to be like a lead singer of a dope or just a singer like an at a fucking

Why am I doing stand up? I'm not in a fucking band. I want to be in a band. But then all these people in bands want to be in stand up. I know. You're just like, you guys get to go out and scream and it's awesome. We have to have everyone be quiet. Like Hutch from the Thermals who I love. I love the dude but I'm like, you were get to go out and scream and it's awesome. We have to have everyone be quiet. Like Hutch from the Thermals who I love. I love the dude but I'm like, you are in one of the coolest

bands. He gave it up. He did give up. I think he realized. He's like, I'm in one of the coolest bands. You're like, why are you fucking slumming it down here with us for drink tickets? Did he? Shout out to Hutch, man. Love Hutch. Yeah, that's a fucking amazing pick.

And the rap is really simple in it, isn't it? Very simple, yeah, yeah. Which is true of a lot of Ludacris' music. God, he's dope, though, Luda. Simple in the way that you change the simple. Simple and... The perfect simple. Right, grilled cheese sandwich simple.

Yeah, yeah. It's fucking perfect. Number one spot, almost my first pick. Scheme, scheme, plop, plop. It's crazy. That thing is crazy. With the Austin Powers whistles? Yeah.

Yeah. You know how movie soundtrack songs sometimes are barely related to the movie? Like Aaliyah. Are You That Somebody? Are You That Somebody is from Dr. Doolittle's soundtrack. Luda, number one spot, is all about the Austin Powers movie. It is. He's talking about number one, like my faja and all the references from the movie.

He's got names in there. It's hilarious. Because he was a real fan. He loved it. He called him up, like, let me get on that soundtrack. He wrote that song anyways. For the third Austin Powers movie. Right, he wrote that song and they heard it and they were like, do you want to do this for a movie?

He's like, oh, okay. Luda, I mean, I still listen to his music every now and then, but it's aged, not poorly, but awkwardly. Some of it's so good. Some of it's still so good. It's supposed to live in your memory. It's not supposed to, you're not supposed to listen to it again. You're supposed to remember listening to it. It was perfect for the time, though.

He has a new track out. Does he? Oh, yeah. Is it Puff Daddy, I think? Or what are we? Diddy? Or who is on it? I can't remember.

But I just listened to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the Vitamin D. Oh, Vitamin D. Is French Montana on it or something like that? Yeah. Someone relevant.

French Montana's on it. Vitamin D, is that a reference to the Dillsnick? Yeah. Oh, no, it's Ty Dolla $ign. Ty. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's not great. He also hosts a show on MTV. He's doing fine. Fear Factor. He's got a beautiful character. The. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's not great. He also hosts a show on MTV. He's doing fine. Fear Factor. He's got a beautiful honor. The new Fear Factor. I watched an episode the other day. It was pretty tight.

The Fast and the Furious? Yeah. Franchise. Ludacris is a fucking millionaire now. He's great. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's awesome. Yeah, he's like a-

Ludacris and Tyrese both had, like, they have to look at each other on the set of every Fast and the Furious and be like, tight, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is cool, right? I think it's nice. Amazing pick., right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is cool, right? Amazing pick. Thank you. Yeah, by Usher. Now, Serpentine. It's a Serpentine draft. Yeah, yeah. Dang. You understand.

So the snake ran into the wall. Alright. Since I'm not afraid of any other picks getting stole, I'm just gonna do my second Midnight Song, which is just like, if I'm trying to turn it up, if I'm trying to showcase my skills, again, this is not something that maybe everybody's gonna glom onto, but I do want to like just

level the room with Drunk In Love, Beyonce. God damn it. It's fourth. You were gonna pick that fourth? Can you sing that song? No. Okay. Drunk In Love. I have footage. I just can in love. I have footage.

I just can feel excited. I can't sing that song, but I can just hit the emotions. Yeah. It's one of those songs that people respect you trying. Yeah. As long as I'm giving it a shot, people are like, all right. Do you do the rap part? Do you do the jazzy?

Absolutely, girl. And you know what my favorite? All kinds of boys always walk up to me like, hey, let me handle the rap part. And like, breasts are my favorite. And you know what my favorite? All kinds of boys always walk up to me like, hey, let me handle the rap part and like, listen, Buster Brad,

I got it all sealed up, buddy. You can handle some of the Beyonce parts if you want, if you're really serious about joining me. Well, I don't like doing, I don't have a very high voice.

Yeah. My voice is very low. You know, some of those people where it's like, like Sean, your speaking voice is very different

from your singing voice. Yeah. Thank you for saying I have a singing voice. You do. You just did it. I appreciate it. My speaking voice is very different from your singing voice. Yeah. Thank you for saying I have a singing voice. You do. You just did it. I appreciate it. My speaking voice is exactly the same as my singing voice. You guys can figure out how I sing right now.

Can you sing real quick? Just to make sure. I've been drinking. I've been drinking. I've been sitting on my whiskey. I've been drinking. So what is it? The first.

Drunk in love. Oh, you're a good singer. We beat all night. I love it. You were doing the jaw thing. You did the jaw thing. See, now I can't remember the lyrics. Hell yeah.

Woke up in the kitchen. I can't even remember that. Woke up in the kitchen saying, how the hell did this shit happen? How the hell did this shit happen? Oh, baby. That's more fun to say. Old Sir Bart.

Watermelon. Like, all that stuff. It gets so sexy and drunky at the end, too. It's so great. Like, I don't drink, but I sometimes, like, bring a prop and, like, act like I drink a little bit and, like, get loose with it, you know? That's how it feels drunk. That's what it feels like when you're drunk. Make it out at your house.

Yeah. That's exactly. And then you're just, like, falling over. This is awesome that we're falling over right now. The most insane relationship I've ever been in my life, which involved a lot of alcohol. Sure. The particular woman in question would throw that song on every time. That's fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty perfect. It's such a fucking banger. So I go, I go, we be all night. And then I let the audience do the love. Because I don't really want to say, it's too much work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to keep your words.

And the girls love it. Girls are like, you know, hands up, like, you know, just celebrating. Yeah, I love it. And also Beyonce raps a little bit. I mean, it's like a rhythmic kind of talking. Everything's all right. No complaints with my body. So full of resonance of these lies.

Boy, I'm drinking. Boy, I'm drinking You know Boy I'm drinking That Duse is the shit If Duse so much And I kind of pop into the Hova voice A little bit Yeah You know

Also just one time Shout out to Duse I tried to get a bottle the other day It was like $75 Damn It's very expensive This is gonna be naive What kind of alcohol is Duse?

Cognac Okay What other song is Not for the podcast It's his Duse Yeah Brand though right I was going to be naive. What kind of alcohol is Dutay? Cognac. Okay. What other song is... Not for the podcast. It's his brand, though, right? Is it Jay's brand? What?

No, no, no. Dutay's a famous brand. It's just like... Oh, it's in a... Okay, okay. Never mind, never mind. Don't worry, don't worry. Don't pick.

We're out here. I'm over here freaking out. I hope you can't handle this curve. I wonder if we think that Jay's got a curved peen, if that's the implication. I bet he does. A curved peen? I bet he does. I could see that.

He seems like a curved man. Sure. Yeah. I like that he's proud of it. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of Jay, 444 is so good. God damn it, it's good.

The new Jay-Z album. Ah, kill Jay-Z. Ah, it's so good it's beyonce's on it for a second it's nuts i gotta listen this thing it's so you got it i need title this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by schedule

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Oh, really? Oh, dishonorable. We were listening to it last night. On the way to maybe the coolest thing I've ever got to go to in my entire life. Ian and I went to the Battle of the Barracks, the skate contest last night, and we were listening to the new Jay on the way there. Holy shit. My fucking – I was smiling so much.

All right. I think that's what I'm going to do. Right after this podcast, I'm going to take my mans. We're going to drive some cool Mulholland drive or something. I wanted to show them L.A. a little bit. We're going to listen to that album. Do it. It's so good.

It's great. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's tight. It's only 10 songs and they're all good. Rad. I think. I didn't know that. It's only 10 songs. They're also... Sister Nancy's getting a lot of run. That Bom Bom song.

Yeah. Kanye sampled it. Of course, on his last album. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But before the, I think she just started getting them before Kanye. So now when there's Kanye and now this new Jay-Z album, she's finally getting paid off of it and shit. That's dope. Yeah. That's good to know.

But yeah, Drunk In Love. Drunk In Love. Surfboard. Surfboard. And it's slow. It's not super dancey, I will say that. But like, not everybody, you know, it's a good break between dance songs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. It's a good, you know what I sing a lot? Comedy festivals. Oh, yeah. Because comics love, you know, Because they're drunk in love with the, for sure. Drunk in love with ourselves.

Hanging on all over each other, you know. It's a good vibe. So after that, what would you put on after someone, after you crush Drunk in Love, what would you put up after that? It's going to be hard to follow, right? I better not say. It's probably coming up in my

future picks. Elucidate us at a later time. I would say a very familiar banger. Like a wedding song. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I do love weddings. A wedding soundtrack is going to get with. I do love weddings. Yeah. God, I love a wedding.

A wedding soundtrack is similar to a banging karaoke. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. I think so as well. You don't want your deep cuts to be that deep. Because you're going to be dancing with an ant. Yeah, nothing too dirty. Maybe a little bit more on the poppy side of hip hop.

Or something way dirty. You didn't know Aunt Tammy was a freak. Yeah. That's not a wedding. She knows what watermelon means. Aunt Tammy's just talking to Uncle Mark like, you know,

I've done all this, right? Yeah. Tammy. We're blood relatives. I don't need to know that. Watermelon. That's testicles. Nuts.

Is that what it is? Yeah. Nutting. It's like a water, like yeah, watermelon. It's like getting nutted. Yeah.

Yep. Anyway. Real buck. That song is dirtier than you think. That's some a watermelon. It's like getting nutted. Yeah. Yep. Anyway. Real buck. That song is dirtier than you think. That's some deep slang. Who did I drop that on? And they're like, Beyonce. I'm like, yeah.

That's what she's saying. It's fucking dope. Grinding on that wood. Sean, it's time for you to grind on that wood with your second pick. It's going to be Madonna. It's going to be Madonna. It's going to be Like a Prayer. Lady Madonna.

That's a good move. I love it. What about when the chorus comes in and it gets all like like choir-y? Choose like a prayer. I'll take you there.

Just like a dream to me. To me. Yeah. Sean Jordan. It's a song that fucking. You're an angel. People get stoked. Yeah.

I want people to be pumped. And that's a song where I don't know anyone that doesn't like that song. Oh, it's a fucking. The beginning throws a lot of people off. I don't know if that's how it starts. It starts with that, boom. Life is a mystery. And you hear people, or you see them like, wait a second.

Creeps over the bar like a fox. Yeah, yeah. It does. And all these girls start activating. Activating. Like robots. They're like party robots. And they're like, oh shit, is it on?

Is it on? Yeah, it's a powerful song. I booted the hard drive on that one. Yeah. I don't know what that means. It turns the computer on. Just fire it up. Flick a switch.

Turn a key. Light the engine. Light the engine. I get it. I get it. Spill the wine. Kiss that girl. It's almost got like a George Michael vibe.

Yeah, it does. George Michael vibe. Yeah. Funny because that was my first pick, you know? Oh, it's Wham. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I vibe, yeah. Funny, because that was my first pick, you know? Oh, it's Wham, yeah. I bet he would have fucking tore that song in half. I bet he would have. Did you ever see him cover Prince?

Yes. There's a video of him covering, I think it's Purple Rain. Yeah. It's incredible. Oh, it's, is it Purple? Maybe it's not. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I do.

Purple Rain is a, that's a good Prince song. Sure. Not a good karaoke song. So long. It, I do. That's a good Prince song. Sure. Not a good karaoke song. So long. It's really long. It's too long. It's crazy long. Most Prince songs are a little too long and a little too wild for karaoke.

I think personally, I know some people really, like there are people who crush like Pussy Control. Oh, I should drop some names, but. Oh, it's fine. I didn't know if Pussy Control was on the table for this call. All you did was say my nickname in college. That's all you did to start. I saw my older brother cover that one.

I've seen that karaoke once. Really? My older brother Bear. Hair just constantly disheveled. Dude, my brother is a party animal. But now he's the most upstanding individual I've ever met. Oh, he's amazing. Father, family man, business owner.

Even after like 2 a.m.? Yeah, but party animal from way back. Yeah, he's amazing. Father, family man, business owner. Even after like 2 a.m.? Yeah, but party animal from way back. Yeah, that's what I like to hear. I like that. OG party animal. OG party animal. Party's tight. Young party animal. Young party. Young party, the MPA. Like a prayer is dope. I like that.

Shout out to Jen Allen. I don't even know if she listens to this, but my girlfriend and now friend from back in the day, from back in college, Shout out to, I got a, Jan Allen, I don't even know if she listens to this, but my girlfriend and now friend from back in the day, from back in college, fucking would crush that song. Yeah. It would have like theatrics.

She grew up in the church, so she'd go down on her knees at parts of it. And like, it was like one of the dopest things I've ever seen. Yeah. The gospel, like having a background track that sounds like a lot of people is a good way to make you feel like you're crushing it because there's a lot of people. I'll say this song

because it's definitely not going to come up, but Erykah Badu, Call Tyrone. Oh, yeah. The karaoke version is always a live version and there's a crowd.

Yeah. And so I would always open with that song because I'd be like, all right, everybody, calm down, calm down. There's two people in the bar. All right, everybody, look, we're going to do it.

Relax. What is that in next Friday? That's the one with Tyrone. That was recorded in Seattle. Tyrone, right? I'm getting tired of your shit. Oh, yeah. You don't ever call me nothing.

You don't ever call me nothing. You're a good Eric Abadu. Hell yeah. God, Eric Abadu fucking rocks, man. Try to get a window seat. Her on a... Block party, dude. Block party.

Yes. When her wig comes off. Back in the day. She just rips that shit off. It's just how she's living. And then Jill Scott is like, you think I'm afraid of following her?

Yeah. Have you ever seen me perform? And then Jill Scott tears it up. Jilly from Philly. Jill Scott is like the closest I ever got to crying listening to music. Jill Scott was?

Yeah, if you listen to the her on Her and the Roots do When You Got Me Live. Oh, shit. And it's just like super loud.

Like if you listen to it it's super loud. And she just goes crazy because she shit. And it's just like super loud. Like if you listen to it, it's super loud. And she just goes crazy because she's like, she's just like, like the drums are going and she's like, I sing a rhyme.

And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. It's like ancient rhythms. Yeah. Like demons coming out. Yeah. It was like spiritual.

She sings like that. Yeah. It's like really, and then she was just like, I can go high. And her mic is like echoing. It was like spiritual. She sings like that. Yeah, it's like really. And then she was just like, I can go high. And her mic is like echoing. It was like nuts. No, no.

It's like 12, 15 minutes. David, I feel so close to you right now. Listen to You Got Me Live podcast. Did you cry or did you almost cry? Almost cry. I've cried to music hella. I can't. I got receptors.

I got. Oh, God, I cry. I'm trying, man. It's all right. Movies can take me kind of close. We all have our paths. I'm a c I got receptors. I got. Oh, God, I cry. I'm trying, man. It's all right. You don't have to. Movies can take me kind of close. We all have our paths. I'm a crier, though.

Oh, God. I want to get in there. I'm a younger crier over here. A nice building can make me cry. It doesn't take much. Yeah, yeah, Sean will loosen up. It doesn't take much. Sean's a leaky bottle.

I could have been bawling all night last night. I was just from being stoked. So happy. You were bawling the other way, dude. You're a happy crier. Yeah. Just from being stoked. So happy. You were balling the other way, dude.

You're a happy crier. I know I've said this on the podcast before, but oh, shit, I can't even say it. Never mind. Wow. Because it's a song that might come up later. Oh. Yeah. All right.

Let's leave that to come to life. In fact, I'm almost sure it will. You're up. I'm not going to do it now. Whoa. I might not do it now. Whoa. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Where's he going? First was What's Up by Four Non Blondes. That's what happened to me. I did What's Up now. Whoa. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Where's he going? First was What's Up by Four Non Blondes. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? I did What's Up by Four Non Blondes. Ian's loading a gun right now. I forgot it was my pick right now.

Stop crying, Ian. I'm going to cry. Get off the floor. Young Weepy over here. Young Weeps. Oh, Young Weepy over here. Young Weeps. Oh, Young Weepy, dude. Young Weepy. Young Weepy.

That's cute. Holy crap. Fuck. Fuck. Okay, I can't. Oh. All right, I'm going to take. This is Buck.

It's Super Buck, dude. This is Buck Williams. This is Buck Trilliums. Wow. Old Buck Norris, dude. All right, I'm going to take it. I'm going to take Creep by Radiohead. Yeah!

I bet you can sing the hell out of that. Who can sing the hell out of it? You! Oh, me? Oh, yeah, I can sing the hell out of it. Yeah. The run part of the... Rah!

Rah! That's like right. Yeah. It's in that Four Non Blondes range. Yeah, true. Whatever that little range is, I can sit in that pocket. Yeah. And that...

Rah! And it's another loud one. Everybody's got to find their pocket. Yeah. That's my pocket. AFV listeners all know my stance on Radiohead. Listen.

Wow. I appreciate you. David fucking lost it the other day on Radiohead. I didn't lose it. Does that extend to the song Creep? Yeah. Creep is such a non-Radiohead

Radiohead song. I can't believe that you don't I don't think it's that special. It's so good. It's so very special. It's so good. It's almost like you've never felt like different. What the hell are you doing here?

You know the only time I've ever liked Creep? Yeah. Is when I've heard Chris Garcia sing it in Spanish. Oh, that's a good one. I love Creep. I love Creep. I like that. I wish he was here to do that for us

right now yeah I would love to see that too I'm gonna ask I'm gonna see him Monday I'm gonna ask him yeah ask him to do it

it's great it's great to me that's just deli mustard me singing it's mustard that's deli mustard it's just a slight upgrade on what's already great

hey Chris I'm not gonna do a stand up set unless you sing Creep right now in Spanish and Espanol so I don't know if I've

told this on here before but when I was in middle school I won't say the other song but my friend CJ and I debated over what song should be playing in the background

when he called a girl that he had a crush on Creep was one of the songs and the other song I won't say because I'm like it brought up the other song was actually

Rex and Effect that song that's so funny. That's fucking hilarious. It was written down on Sean's paper. Oh, I'm so sorry. Well, there's no way that was going to come up. That's crazy.

That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy to think. What's on the other, how many MLP songs are on the other side of that paper? What are you doing? I can see your paper and it just says. How was it rough, Shaker? What are you doing?

That's so crazy. I'm sorry. I just, I was like, maybe that'd be tight. It would be tight. It would be tight. I don't know why that. Whoa. I think we just linked up.

I think we synced up. Right. That's nuts. Sean, what does it say? That was a magic trick. What does it mean that the rest of your paper still would steal my sunshine? It's like David Blaine being like, is this your card? Yeah.

I just fucking David Blaine that. That you did. Because I just said it. You were the magician. There was a part of me that did want to pick all the summer jams for the character. There was a part of me that just... See how long it takes everyone to be like, are you just picking your summer jams?

Yeah, you could just smoke 15 cigarettes and then sing Steal My Sunshine. I did think about... L-A-T-E-R that week. That's actually the girl singing that in that song. Because I listened to Steal My Sunshine maybe 15 times afterwards

just to make sure it's a dang track dang track another dang track Creep by Radiohead yeah super good it just builds like it's a song

that like it's Fibonacci sequences man it starts out right here and then it builds on itself and builds on itself man I can't imagine a world where I don't

like that song and then you're fucking shouting it you're fucking tearing into it at the end and then it builds on itself and builds on itself. I can't imagine a world where I don't like that song. And then you're fucking shouting it. You're fucking tearing into it at the end. And then they button it up right at the end. It's beautiful. Were you here before? Tom York, man.

I love you in the eye. It's so, it's, yeah. It's a melodrama, that song. That song is a fucking melodrama, which I think for me, someone who did a little theater and it's loved attention. Dabbled in the theater. I dabbled in the theater.

I love, I fucking love a melodrama. Very emotional. That song is just like, it's stupid. There's nothing subtle about it. Didn't Radiohead live in a fucking vault, a bank vault for a while to record one of their albums? That sounds like something they might do.

That doesn't make any rumor about Radiohead sounds true to me. I swear somebody told me that Tom York was like, let's live in a bank vault. Tom York lived off of pickle brine for a year. I believe it. This is the guy you guys are. He didn't really. This is what I'm saying.

You can make up any rumor about him. I think somebody on Twitter will correct me, but I think the bank vault, I think there's something there. That might be. When they recorded OK Computer, they lived in five different houses in Budapest and never talked to each other. Is that a true one? No, but it could be. Johnny Green would replace himself with a robot version of himself that was programmed by the same people who made that big blue chess machine. The problem is I don't know the lore, so I don't know if some of this is basic.

None of this is true, but it all sounds... Tom York loved scuba diving. He actually got the bends, and that's where that album title came from. Tom York reverse-educated himself. He started at Oxford and ended up in kindergarten. You know, Tom York invented cursive. Tom York, yeah, he invented cursive. He invented cursive, and he taught Mike Tyson how to box.

Which is crazy, because Mike Tyson's older than he is. Tom York only eats out of cornucopias. And only raw squash and stuff like that that's actually in cornucopias. He's the best

oboe player in the world but he's never played the oboe. Tom York only sleeps on airplanes and only wakes up by going skydiving. He wakes up mid-air.

Mid-air. Midair. Somebody pushes him out of the plane. They push him out of the plane with an alarm clock around his neck. Tom York doesn't have any blood. All this shit is true, man.

100%. He doesn't have any blood. All this shit is true. Johnny Greenwood had all of his organs transplanted. He didn't need to but he just wanted to they actually switched

they all switched organs one to the right in the band yeah I don't know any other members of the band besides Tom York and Johnny Greenwood

I don't either I didn't know I didn't know any other ones except Tom York until just now when you guys started saying John Greenwood you know

okay here's a true one there will be blood right Johnny Greenwood not in Tom York there won't because he doesn't have any. John Greenwood what? He made all the music for that movie.

Did he make all the music? Yeah, I'm going to look at it again. He did. No, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eli, you boy. You sniveling boy. The other ones are Colin Greenwood.

Yeah, yeah. Ed O'Brien and Philip Selway. Ed O'Brien. I saw... David just started to say Tom York and got mad at himself. I just... I don't know. He spells it T-H-O-M, which, that's not good.

Tom? That's all I need to know. That validates all the rumors I just heard. Look, man. They fucking shred, all right? Listen, I don't know. I might just be broken in that special way that I appreciate. The way you're broken is perfect and beautiful if you are broken.

It's like whatever that thing art in Japan is called where they fill in. What is that thing where they take a broken vase, but they fill it in with this gold? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what that's called. And it's its own art. What? All right. Young Google's got to handle it right now.

Young Google's got to handle that shit. Young Google over there going to handle it? Lie on the computer, log out. I'll drop this. You know, Paranoid Android is a very popular Radiohead song that is 11 minutes long or so. Yeah. And I'll do that when the bar is completely dead and no one wants to sing karaoke. It's really fun.

Yeah. Because then you're just fighting them. What do you mean? No, Brie actually goes out and fights everyone. Well, sometimes, like, you know, you're doing stand-up and it's just, like, me versus you.

Uh-huh. Like, now we're fighting. Oh, two people going back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are two songs and the other song, which no one will pick, so I don't mind saying it,

is Frank Ocean, Cleopatra. Oh, yeah. That was on the back of Sean Jordan's paper. You sure it's not Rump Shaker? That's such a good song. It's eight minutes long and it's like three songs.

Yeah, it's so long. And I like going into that. Just can't believe Rump Shaker. Kintsugi is the Young Google returned. Young Google. What a tight nickname. Young Google, dude. Young Weeby, Young Google.

Young Google, Young Google. Can I be Young Bing? You can be Young Giggle. Young Giggle. David Boyd, it's time for your second pick. Young Grinder. Oh, it's my second pick. That be Young Giggle. Young Giggle. David Boyd. It's time for your second pick. Young Grinder. Oh, that's my second pick.

With the E. Young Grinder. Young Grinder. Yeah. Young The Grinder. That canceled the show. Young The Grinder. Eric Nye's The Grind.

David Boyd. Yep. I'm going to let that chill for a second. Okay. My second pick, weird pick, Call Me Out by Paul Simon. Oh, good though. It's got those horns. I would love. Everybody gets good.

And then you don't even have to really sing. Just like, man walks down the street. Why am I soft in the middle? I would love to see you do that. I would love to see you do that. I love that song so much. For the listener, David dancing a little bit. Oh, yeah.

As he's just talking out the words. If you see the video, that's how... Bone digger, bone digger. Duck back down the alleyway with some... Roly poly little bat face girl. That song is great. And it's just like the perfect like... I love that whole album.

Still dancing. That whole album is so good it's so good and like Chevy Chase is in the video yes but like just to exist he's just hanging

just having a good time I love that he's just hanging in the video that's probably the music comedian crossover of the 70s 80s 80s

yeah that was the 86 yeah oh man my parents played the shit out of it that fucking album that's one of my favorite albums it's so good. Me too.

I have two. I have possibly another song from that album. Did you ever get into Vampire Weekend? I don't understand what you're saying to me. It's a band. Oh, no. Oh, okay. Do they sing that song?

I don't understand what you're saying to me. They feel, and maybe I'll catch on for this, but to me- Vampire Weekend, it's a Tom York nickname. That's his mom's name this Vampire Weekend it's a Tom York nickname that's his mom his mom's name Vampire Weekend was his birth name and he changed it

to Tom York Vampire Weekend is a band they put out three albums and they kind of sound like they sound like

the closest thing to Graceland in my opinion it's like the chord progression or something yeah yeah and they just play

like worldly music and weird different instruments but with like, like, it's definitely American. I mean, they're all, like, from Massachusetts and, like, went to some art school, but, like. I'm super with that. But you've got to get into that. You've definitely heard their songs. Really? Yeah, yeah.

Do-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Hey, hey, hey. Oh, I have heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just recognized because of the do-na-na-na-na-na. Yeah. Anyway. We don't need words. But, yeah, Call, hey. Oh, I have heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just recognized because of the do-do-na-na-na. Yeah. Anyway. We don't need words.

But yeah, Call Me Al, it's like one of those songs where like not everybody may know it, but if you know it and you're in there, you're like feeling good. Everybody knows it. And just like, it's just the horns are so like, it's dancey, but you don't have to, it's not like complicated. No. It's like a real simple. It's a little two-steppy.

Yeah, yeah. It's like da-na-na-na. Well, Simon, he grabs the beats from the island. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's got a Caribbean calypso rhythm. Yeah, and I'll tell you, as a karaoke jockey. I don't know what calypso means. I'm not sure either.

I think it's a specific thing. I wanted to sound cool in front of my friends. Calypso. As a karaoke jockey, I hear call me out. I'm reaching for my maraca, folks. You have a maraca? I got a maraca. I got a kind instrumentation. I didn't even know she had them tucked. I'm reaching for my maraca, folks. You have a maraca? I got a maraca. I got a kind instrumentation.

I didn't even know she had them tucked. I got a maraca, I got a tambourine, and I got one cowbell. That's amazing. And the maracas come out, you know, it's an easy maraca song to play to, yeah. Yeah. That bass line in it? Oh, it's so fun. And then, yeah, you don't have to actually sing is what I like. They got that weird bass part in, it's so cool. And then, yeah, you don't have to actually

sing is what I like. They got that weird bass part in it that's so awesome. That's just one of the guys playing bass the normal way, and then they cut it and then just reversed it. So that's why it sounds all weird like that. What? It's a Missy Elliott? It's a Missy Elliott, yeah. Put that thing down, flip it, and reverse it.

Yeah. It's your flip-a-dib-a-fwet-a-n-y-a. So it's like... And it, and reverse it. It's your flip-a-dib-a-fwet-a-n-y-a. Oh, yeah. So it's like... And then they just reverse it. That's why it sounds all weird like that. Paul Simon was a genius. Yeah.

It was actually the bass player himself who might have been... Was it Chevy Chase? Well, some of them... I forget. I don't know. Chase on the bass? He worked with mostly African musicians for that whole album. Chase on the bass. I think it was like an African bass player who came up with it and everything.

I'm going to say it was Thundercat. It was Thundercat. It was Thundercat as timeless. Except just South Africa is where he was inspired. Yeah. Oh, you can tell. That whole album feels. Paul Simon and Lady Smith, Black Mambazo.

Yeah. I mean, Homeless. Homeless. I like the boy in the plastic bubble. That one's so good, too. Yeah, me and Julio down by the school yard. Yeah, that's the jam. Which, were they fucking?

God, it's so good. Him and Julio? Yeah. Were they fucking? I can't tell what that song is about. Me either. I thought they were fucking. Radical Preacher came to give me relief it was all on the cover of Newsweek.

What is that about? It was on Newsweek? I just thought about the, I don't know, I just always felt like that was what was going on. Cause, Mama came out and started an investigation. It was on Newsweek? I just thought about the, I don't know. I just always felt like that was what was going on. Because Mama came out and started an investigation. Man in the middle of the... Wait, no, wait, wait. No, we're doing... Julio now.

We're doing all kinds of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the problem with that sing talking. All I want to do is run my zoom, zoom, zoom in a boom. But that's right, same song. Oh, my God. Same song, right? Check, baby, check, baby. One, two, but that's right. Same song. Oh my god. Same song, right? Check, baby, check, baby, one, two,

three. Alright. Call Me Hell's a great pick. I love it. I love that song. I feel closer to you even before. Young boy getting it done. Now that I know we both love that album so much. It's so good. It's so good. Oh, wait a minute. Okay, so really quick. Me and Hooli down by the

schoolyard, according to Wikipedia. The song is about two boys who have broken a law, although the exact law that has been broken is not stated. When the mom of Pajama finds out what they have done, she goes to the police station to report the crime. And they're arrested, but released when a radical priest intervenes. The meaning and references in the song have long provoked debate. In a July 20, 1972 interview for Rolling Stone, John Landau asked Simon, that can't be 1972.

When the fuck did that song come out? I don't know. Oh, no, that one's from earlier. That's not from that album, right? Oh, I guess not. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, still, John Landau asked Simon,

what is it that Mama saw? The world wants to know. Simon replied, I have no idea what it is. Something sexual is what I would imagine, David. But when I say something, I never bothered to figure out what it was. Didn't make any difference to me. This implies that Simon left the crime up to the imagination of the listener.

This does not stop speculation on a definite interpretation. Commentators have detected references to recreational drug use. What? Have fun in hell. Not my Paul Simon. The mother saw the boys buying drugs, and then in 2010, Simon described the song as a bit of an inscrutable doggerel.

All right, Paul. While the radical priest is... That was a real Tom York comment. Young inscrutable? Dogger-el. Young dogger-el. So we don't know what they were doing. No. And then they admitted the song's actually about Warren Beatty. There was a whole paragraph that told me nothing. Dog-a-rill Young Dog-a-rill So we don't know What they were doing No

And then They admitted The song's actually About Warren Beatty There was a whole paragraph That told me nothing Yeah Get it together

Wikipedia Right Jesus It's like anybody Could write for it And make me a notable alum At my college While we're at it

There it is Alright Me too Yeah Portland State Portland State Portland State Put me and Bree on that I didn't graduate from USD

But we don't They don't have a lot to hang on to University of Phoenix Look up your boy Who did PSU Yes you did Yeah I added them

I was like put me in your pamphlets I'm a notable alum And they were like we'll talk And I was like That's crazy That was the whole And then it's been weeks And nothing's happened

David it's time for your third pick Okay My third pick Because it's a serpentine nothing's happened. David, it's time for your third pick. Okay. My third pick. Because it's a serpentine dress. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a serpentine. Just like a slithering snake. This one, I'm surprised it hasn't been picked before.

Not only will I think it's a great karaoke song, I'll just throw this on at my house. Let's hear it. If I'm cleaning. Yeah. I'll throw it on at a party. I bet I know. Because people always get live to it. It's, you know, you set the mood, it's all quiet, and then just like, the sun's out upon the hour and the sun begins to fade.

Sooner or later, something, something, how to chase my cares away. It is the seventh. I've been a little taken back, but I've had it better up till now. But when the night falls, my lonely heart's cold. What do you want to do? I want to dance with somebody. Do you really? I want to do the heat with somebody. Again, what do you want to do? Do you really?

Again, what do you want to do? What do they need to be doing? That, I'll tell you what, will happen. We'll get a fucking comedy festival after party. That'll get anything knocking. You can't like, you can't hear that and just live quietly

anymore. You gotta be out and loud when you need to. Guy Branum turns into sweat when that song comes out. Yeah. It's the best.

I may have said this before so I'll keep it brief. When I was DJing the first time they asked me to DJ at Bridgetown, I was doing that fucking thing

where I was playing songs that I thought would make people think I was cool. Like cool hip hop songs and stuff like that. And Guy Branum, dance raged up to me.

Yes. And was like, put on something that people are gonna fucking dance to. And I was like, like what, Guy? And he was like,

put on Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston. Yes. And I did. And the dance floor, which had previously had only people who were on Molly, was then flooded by everyone.

Who was on weed. Who was on weed and alcohol. All the drugs were on the dance floor. And then from there, that has been my North Star for DJing any of those parties. It's undeniable. Undeniable. Everybody wants to dance. Everybody can dance.

Everybody wants to dance with somebody. And you can dance any kind of like, you can really grind it up on it, or you can just dance with your grandma. Jump up and down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dance with your grandma at a wedding. Just go, hey, what's going on? You can also put the little girl on your feet, do the little flower girl dance with her.

Oh, yes. You can do any dance with her. Think about how wholesome she is in the video. She's got a bow on her head. She's got that cute prop in the hair. Yeah, I know. And she's running through that 80s paint shop thing. God, it's such a good song. So many paint swatches in the 80s

everywhere. They loved... The 80s music videos were really into, like, the idea of something being half-painted. Yeah! Yeah, they were! And a lot of ladders, you know? Yeah, ladders and scaffolding. And, like, paint buckets, but also a dancer. Yeah. Yeah, that song is just...

I love it so much. It's like probably one of my top 10 songs. I'm never angry when I hear it. No, it's so good. Every time somebody karaoke's it, it murders. Especially that, Don't you wanna dance, don't you wanna dance, don't you wanna dance.

Oh, that part's so good. Don't you wanna dance, don't you wanna dance. Oh, don't you wanna dance, don't you wanna dance, don't you wanna dance. Dance. Baby. You could add extra people to that song. Oh yeah, you could have to dance? Say you want to dance. Don't you want to dance? Dance. Baby. You could add extra people to that song. Oh, yeah.

You could have a dance dude for sure. Dance. Freedom Williams, dance. Dance. I just like doing that. David, I think you could hire David and I to be your dance guys. Oh, we could be good dance guys. We'll be one drink each.

There's a phenomenon of a lot of dudes singing songs like that, that are kind of like lady anthems. Yeah. Where they're like, you know what? This is just for the boys tonight. And I kind of like that. Is that song a ladies anthem? I mean.

I always felt like that song was for everyone. I feel like anything by Whitney is sort of like a, got a feminine empowerment vibe to it. But hey, I don't want to gender this, you know? I'm sorry. It's all yours.

I grew up with so much of it. Like I understand like I'm every woman. Yeah. Because also that beat knocks. Yeah. Yeah. The more. Dude,

the bodyguard is such a good movie. Said it. The more. I cry every time. I cry like four times when I watch The Bodyguard. The more dudes doing vaguely sensitive shit together, the better for the world.

Yeah. I'm all on board for that. For real. They love it. We need to encourage it. We should never clown on someone for doing something

even vaguely feminine because the world needs more of that. There's so much toxic masculinity. We need to open up that tiny box. It feels good.

That's why I'm talking about I cry all the time. I fucking love crying. I love making myself cry sometimes. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes you make yourself puke when you're like afterwards, you're like, I'm glad I did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. I've never puked after crying.

Is that something you guys do? Oh, no. No, no, no. They're two different. Like when you've eaten too much or you've drank too much and you make yourself puke. I call crying I puke so

no I don't really I love crying nobody liked that I just thought it'd be funny to say it's like I come nope see I didn't want to do it

and then I did it I just felt like young disgusting over there I don't need that young Iges I didn't need to take it there I'm sorry one time I saw a group of boys

it was a bachelor party they were wearing matching outfits and they put in they were so excited I don't care if I'm taking this off boys. It was a bachelor party. They were wearing matching outfits, and they put in. They were so excited. I don't care if I'm taking this off the table. It was A Thousand Miles. Oh. Vanessa Carlton.

What? And I still miss you. Now I want you, and I will fall into the sky. You know, she's playing the piano on the flatbed of the truck. I would rock, yeah. And I would walk 1,000 miles. I could just see you making my way downtown, walking fast, 1,000 a home down. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

The White Girls song. Sure. In that movie, White Girls? Oh, I don't know. Oh, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, with the Wayans brothers. Also, Cameron.

No, that's White Chicks. Shout out to Cameron. Shout out always to Cameron. Cameron remixed that song recently. Yes, he did. Also, Cameron. Shout out to Cameron. Shout out always to Cameron. Cameron remixed that song recently. Yes, he did. I love it. Yes, he did. Friend of the podcast, Cameron.

Friend of the pod, Cameron. Friend of the pod, Cameron. One Cameron Giles. Let me get a pink Kangol and let's chill. The only diplomat who's a friend of the pod. You know what I love about Want to Dance with Somebody is the bridge. I think it's got the best that, say you want to dance, but you want to. And everybody's waiting for it, and that's the best part of the bridge. I think it's got the best, that say you wanna dance, but you wanna, and everybody's waiting for it,

and that's the best part of the song. Yeah, it's just so good. It's great. I got, I danced so hard to that song. Last, probably the bridge time we're talking about. Yep.

So fucking hard to that song. It was so tight. Yuck. Loved it. Dead serious. Yuck. Yuck. Playboy.

Yuck. Thank you. Amazing pick. But yeah, that's my third pick. I wanna dance to something. Playboy. Fuck. Thank you. Amazing pick. But yeah, that's my third pick. I want to dance to something. To hold me in his arms. I'm still good right now just thinking about it. Third pick, Richel McCombs.

And this is, I'm going to select one that I was kind of talking about earlier. Throw it at me. I'm going to take, I guess that's why they call it the blues by Elton John. Se talking about earlier. Throw it at me. I'm going to take I Guess That's Why They Call Out the Blues by Elton John. Seen it live. This is where I thought you were going. Yeah. What I was referencing earlier is

there's a version where Elton does this with Mary J. Blige that I know I've talked about on the pod before, but fuck, it's good. It's so good. It made me cry before. It's a fantastic song. And you would do it with a smile on your face, I bet, so nobody would get bummed. Everybody would be like, look at this fucking dude telling me how I feel. Roaring like thunder.

I just love Elton. I love Elton John songs at karaoke. This one's a little more, this is like a little off the beaten path. A tiny bit. There's a, yeah. I mean, it's a pretty beat. Like, you know. They're all on the path. I tiny bit. I mean, it's a pretty beaten... They're all on the path.

I don't hear this one a lot. There's a much more well-worn path. I feel like Crocodile Rock is one. Tiny Dancer. Tiny Dancer is number one for Elton, probably. I used to have a girlfriend, Tammy Ganzer. We'd say, hold me closer, Tammy Ganzer. Is that Tammy who wouldn't throw you a handjob

after the whatever song? Oh, H.J. Tamerlam? What? On a previous podcast, he talked about Tammy and Miel made fun of you for not getting a handjob. She said she wouldn't give you a handjob. Miel made fun of me for every single thing I said. That's true. Literally everything. No, Tammy...

Home the closer, Tammy Ganzer. Tammy Ganzer sounds like a place that you go for pizza and a ball pit. Like, come on down to Tamaganza. The aforementioned Shane Torres and I went to Elton John live, and I'm pretty sure we both cried. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was so tight.

How long is his set? It was like an hour. All bangers. All bangers. Just mean, he's amazing. It was so tight. How long is his set? Nothing like children. It was like an hour. All bangers. All bangers. Just an hour of bangers. Just like nothing you didn't want to hear. You were bummed that he wasn't two and a half hours. Don't wish it away.

Don't look at it like it's forever. Between you and me, I can honestly say That things could only get better While I'm away It's such a good song. And there's parts you can tear into. There's parts you can lay back on a little bit. And you can really make a meal of it.

Yeah, it is. It's a fucking fixed menu meal. You can do your Elton, like how you think, God, I wish I was Elton John. Saunter around that stage. It's real masculine. It is. It's a fucking fixed menu meal. You can do your Elton, like how you think, God, I wish I was Elton John. Saunter around that stage. It's real masculine. It is.

Yeah. Which so many Elton John songs are. That's a masculine man. Yeah. And I'm his type. Yeah. Are you? He likes the bears.

He likes the bears. He likes thick boys. I didn't know that. He likes thick boys. Do you identify as a bear? I don't know. I mean, I'm not gay, so I don't know if that's a bad thing. Yeah, but if you were gay, do you think you'd be a bear?

Has somebody told you that before? I think I would be a bear. Because you're not super hairy. There's some hair on this deal. Yeah. There's some hair. Oh, there it is. Yeah, there's a full, yeah.

I mean, maybe not up here, but yeah, under the fucking, under the cover. I'm roaring like thunder. Under the covers, dude. For the viewer, or for the listener, yeah, there's true. Confirmed. Misconfirmed. There's only four viewers in here other than you, and we're viewing. Yeah, I think so.

And I'm pretty strong, you know? Sure. I'm a fat guy, but there's a lot of muscle there, too. Yeah. I think I'd be, I think I'd, when I was on Chelsea Lately. You told me this. I love it. I got a lot of muscle there too. Yeah. I think I'd be, I think I, when I was on Chelsea lately, You told me this. I love it. I got a lot of attention from guys.

Some of whom still hit me up. Yeah. That was three years ago? Still barking up that tree. They're still barking up that tree. There's still, the tree is still yet to produce fruit,

but, oh, I didn't mean it like that. Young Gabey. I didn't mean fruity like that, but, Dude, I hate it when I screw up

in the metaphor thing. That was fantastic. Yeah. But fantastic yeah but yeah anyway uh i loved it by the way too it was so yeah people were like flattering and the way they and the way the whoever the particular people were into me where i don't know if you're even into it but i just think you're so hot like and i was like oh who doesn't like hearing that? I've been hit on by a few dudes. Some people don't like hearing it, but I loved it. I ate it up with a spoon. It's a compliment. It's a compliment in any way. Who doesn't like a compliment?

I was so into it, man. But yeah, anyway, yeah. Elton John, I guess that's why they call it the blues. You're going to get hit up a lot more now. You just go, I was so into it. I want to drop another Elton John song because I'm almost 100% sure nobody's going to pick it. So I'm just going to mention it. And it's an aspirational karaoke song for me

that I've been working on in the shower when no one else is home. Oh my God. And I don't think I have it in me. Let's hear it. But I want to do Someone Save My Life Tonight by Elton John. I don't know that song.

Someone save, someone save, someone save my life tonight. Yeah, that is like. That's the part I don't think I can do. That's a bold move. Right? It's fucking bold. You could like. That's the chorus, so. It's a. Well, there can do. That's a bold move. Right? It's fucking bold. You would be. What's the chorus?

It's a, well, it's different. There's a couple different. It's like, we've all been crazy lately. My friends and I run around in the basement room. It's like, ooh, someone saved my life tonight. Sugar bear. And I'd be sugar bear. That's your type. You're a bear. And I'd be sugar bear. That's your type. You're a sugar bear.

I'm a sugar bear. If you pulled that off, you would be a legend. Didn't you, dear? Yeah. Like, if I just walked into a karaoke bar, and then just, like, you know, you're up there maybe smoking a hooter. I don't know. You're smoking something.

Just to be. A hooter. There's, like, blue smoke wrapped around your head and you just look and you just look like you got you got like your leg up one leg up on the stool yeah yeah yeah dropping your arm on your knee yeah you're just looking out and you just like just start dude start yeah that's on top of that piano that's some shit that song is that would be incredible that song is intense too

that song is about like suicide right well no I think it's about getting really close to like partying yourself to death is what I've interpreted

as a little bit like getting super into drugs and like all that shit and then just having someone sort of like pull you out of it and I was doing not nowhere close to that

I wasn't gonna die but I was definitely doing some drinking because of depression but disguised in partying. Shortly after a breakup, a little bit like that. Sure. The way we all do from time to time. I can wrap it up, really.

Yeah, and I connected that song so hard and would listen to it like all the time. So I feel like I've got to give it a try. Sometimes if you've got a real, like, this is not going to come up, so I'll say that that I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt oh shit I sing that song every night to get through a breakup and it is so effective therapy

to really get deep into it that is a good ass song I'll cry a little bit that is I do the open mic at Boiler Room and like tell jokes

and then just sing that song as soon as karaoke started to just like get it out a full therapeutic session I don't know if I knew that was Bonnie Raitt what a good song it's a glorious song that's a song that I didn't realize how much I liked until right now yeah

it's incredible right now I was like you know that's a fucking I'm excited to hear what other song you like a lot well third pitch sure it's gonna be it's gonna be a one Daryl Hall and a one Jono. Oh, okay. And it's going to be called You Make My Dreams Come True. Yes! That's a fun one. Sean, that's the one.

That's a fun one. It's arguably my favorite song ever. Really? Yeah, I love that song. Are you singing the hoo-hoos or do you bring up a hoo-hoo gang? I mean, I got to figure it out. I got to check the temperature. I've been known to do it myself. Okay.

And I've been known to just have strangers come up and do it. I have a couple drinks sometimes. I'm sure you're aware. What I got. It's such a good song. And I love romantic comedies. Yes. One of my favorite in 500 Days of Summer,

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, right after they do the lover's dance, him and Zooey Deschanel, he comes out, and he's in a fucking good mood, and there's like a full band behind him walking through Central Park, I think. Wait, do you mean the Whispers of My Lover's Dance? Oh, that's the only song that Sean makes love to, the Careless Whispers of My Lover's Dance.

And they are careless, I'll tell you. Some the careless whispers of my lovers dance and they are careless I'll tell ya some careless whispers of my lovers oh yeah that song is fucking fire it is

and it's so as soon as it starts it does it's like bam jumps out of the gate it's so happy like you just

it's like a good mood for your ears it's just so happy and fun do you think yeah go ahead do you think they sing around the house?

Do they live together? They probably hate each other. They hate each other. But who's the, is it Daryl Hall or John Oates who has that thing where people come to his house and they duet? And it's like this dope thing online. What? Let me look it up. I was just going to say, all Hall and Oates songs don't follow any song structure.

It's always verse, chorus, verse, chorus, chorus, chorus, out. Really? That's all you need. There's no third verse or bridge. That's all you need. Well, I think it's kind of like, they're not super meaty, but it's like a TV theme song. It's just like light and light. That's like all their songs are like TV.

Yeah. They stick in your brain so hard. Rich Girl, it's right there. I know. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's called Live from I know. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's called Live from Daryl's House. Really?

Yeah, and it's the show that I guess was on the BBC, it looks like. Are they British? No, they're American. I think they're from Philly, actually. One of the first, I think the first year we did Bumbershoot, saw Hall & Oates live. You did. I went to the show like a fucking idiot. You what?

You had a show? I went to go do a show. Oh, like off-site, right? Yeah. No, I went to Hall & Oates. You did. I went to a show like a fucking idiot. You what? You had a show? I went to go to a show. Oh, like off-site, right? Yeah. No, I went to Hall & Oates. I fucked up. It was dope, dude. Back when you think that'll change, you're like, I'm doing the work. Yeah, I'm grinding. Go ahead. Have fun. And you did, and I didn't.

Sometimes that's good, and sometimes it's a mess. I told my mom I was gonna see Hall & Oates, and she goes, oh, I really like Hall. She has an opinion. Well, tell your mom about Daryl's house. Yeah. I was like, what did Oates do that you had to tell me?

And they hate each other. They do not like each other. What's that about? What happened? I think there's some money beef or something. That rich girl got in between them? Do they still hate each other? I don't know.

I think they're all right now. Yeah, maybe they are. They were not cool for a while. Like, not cool. So is Daryl Hall's duets with famous people? He brings on different people, and they just tear into songs together. That's fun. Yeah.

He's had, like, I mean, Wyclef did it. Wow. Darius Rucker, Kenny Loggins. Loggins and Oates? Joe Walsh. Loggins and Oates! Loggins and Oates? Joe Walsh. Loggins and Oates. Loggins and Oates. Holy crap.

Jason Mraz, your boy. CeeLo did it once. The Blind Boys of Alabama. Grace Potter. CeeLo's schedule's pretty open. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Sharon Jones.

Did CeeLo fuck up? From the Dab Kings. R.I.P. Not from the Dab Kings. From, of, with the Dab Kings. And Oates has done it a few times. That's why they must not hate each other. Okay, so maybe they are back.

That's beautiful. Let me just make a movie about it. But I mean also it's a business move. Like they have to seem cool with each other at least to still make money. They got to negotiate. I don't know. Controversy sells. Yeah, it does.

Yeah, maybe they got to seem like they aren't cool with each other. So it seems like this could be the last. Tangled, web, weaved. Kosh. Kaved. Kosh. Kosh. Oh my gosh. Oh, what a ten gilled web we weave. What a ten gilled web. That's what Sean thinks it is.

Oh, what a ten gilled web we weave. You know, the merpeople that walk around the bottom of the ocean. Yeah, a ten gilled web. I guess I never thought about it. It doesn't make sense. Hi, I'm a merperson. I have 10 gills. I weave webs.

Oh, what a 10-gilled web we weave when first we practice two Rick D's. That was... Oh, in the weekly top 40? In the weekly top 40. Rick D's knots, dude. Speaking of the weekly top 40,

Bree... It's not for you. When we bring up the weekly top 40, Bree It's not for you when we bring up the weekly top 40 Bree does come up right after you The weekly top 40 Unless there are any further comments to be made on behalf of You Make All My Dreams Come True All good

The defense has rested You've got a great hauling out Thank you You Make All My Dreams Come True Woo woo Woo yeah Listen to this You make my dreams come true. Woo, woo, woo, woo. Oh, yeah. Listen to this. You got.

All right. Brie, it's time for your third pick and then your fourth pick. As it is a serpentine drop. All right. So I'm going to say this is just for the people to know. To know. For the folks. It's all about the first couple of notes of a song, right?

Because everybody is listening. They're waiting for something familiar, right? If the first line is recognizable, you're going to. You want to get that oh from the other one. That's what I'm looking for every time is that doot doot. And everybody's like, shit. So right here, it might seem a little on the nose. I'm surprised that it didn't come up already.

Yeah. This is how we do it. Oh, look at what I was writing down. As she's saying this, I started writing down. This is how we do it. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. It's not even finished being written. You wrote that down too?

I started just now when she was like, oh, I should say this is how we do it. Snatched. Goddamn. It's a very... We're connecting in here. We're having a good one. It's a very doable song.

I think anybody can sing it. It's not hard to sing. Yeah. And if you try, like, it's enough. And there's a lot of things for people to shout, which is very important. I hate to say it. I'm at max capacity with that song.

Are you? Is it over for you? I totally get that. I think I was done in like 98. I totally get that. And to be honest, I probably wouldn't put it in right now, but I just want to tell the people that if you want to have a successful time with karaoke, that song.

That's a fire starter. That's not a karaoke song, but what a treat. We were in Costa Rica, and we were on this catamaran. And it was like... Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

Daddy, daddy, long paper. Daddy got a fucking $1,500 voucher from United once, so I got to go to Costa Rica. So there were like dolphins and shit. We're on this catamaran. And the sun, we're just watching the sunset. Perfect. Right as the sun dipped below're just watching the sunset. Perfect. Right as the sun dipped below the horizon, the second that happened, it kicked on the catamaran as loud as it could be.

This is how we do it. It was so. We're all just like, what? It was the tightest I've ever heard that song. James Corden has a button in his desk that he can pull out. No. And every time he hits it, it plays This Is How We Do It. The whole song?

And Montel Jordan gets $10,000. What? Wait, are you serious? I can't tell. This is like a Tom Hanks situation. You haven't said you're not serious. I don't know if I'm sure. He does have a button in his desk, but I don't know if he gets $10,000.

He's got to get a little something. Okay, yeah. He's got a This Is How We Do It button. I mean, I have no idea what the economics are. That's yeah. Holy buckets, dude. Yeah,10,000. He's got to get a little something. He's got to. This is how we do it, bud. I mean, I have no idea what the economics are. That's yeah. Holy buckets, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's come on our show and performed it before. And for our English shows, I wrote

a whole brand new... I wrote parody lyrics. You did? Yeah. What is it? It's called Now the Show is British. Now the show is British. That's funny. Eat some fish and chipsies. I've heard so many people do that, like, this is how we brew it, or anything that you really This is how Brie brew it.

This is how Brie brew it. Yeah, it's like. Did you used to say that? Never. You never said it before. It just occurred to me just now. Damn. Well, listen.

Come on. It's been your name your whole life. Customizable lyrics. This is how we do it. It's Saturday morning. just now. Damn. Well, this is... Come on. It's been your name your whole life. They got some customizable lyrics. This is how we do it. It's Saturday morning. You know, that kind of thing. And I'm feeling all horny. Yeah.

That movie last night was boring. Yeah. Now I have to leave. That was sick. Oh, that was sick. Until Jordan also was super tall. So tall. All they said was 6'8". He stood. Oh, yeah. I mean, that was sick. Montel Jordan also was super tall. So tall. All they said was 6'8".

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's pretty tall. A lot of people thought the music that he made was good. It's hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big black truck. Yeah, that's where he's got to get his. If you never where I'm from. You know, Montel has two other...

I mean, I'm sure he's got a catalog of amazing music, but... Something for the honeys let's write his song let's get it on tonight oh no what

you don't include let's ride in one I don't know that song what what are you talking about I said I don't know that song him and Master P

let's ride tonight can't do without it Your love is bad You never heard that song? Ian Bree, have you guys heard that song? As soon as I kicked it up It's just him singing about a stripper

Baby was more than incredible She did her thing 5'5", 146 We're nothing but a G-Stack For the listeners If you thought Montel Jordan was here It's not It's actually David

It's actually Young Glory It's the G's one 5'6 The silent G over It's the gentleman. 5'6". The silent G over there. All they said was 5'6". I'm just kidding. For the podcast, I'm 5'9". I don't want you guys to know. I found the parody lyrics and they're not that funny.

So I'm not going to sing them. So, late night. Late nights in young Britain. It's sort of a late night funny. Yeah. Now the show is finished. Now I know why they didn't end up doing it. I know what you mean.

Sometimes you want to show your friends something real bad. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, no. Wait, sometimes the satisfaction of doing a whole parody feels like enough. It felt like a completion, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah but my favorite part was now the show is like now the show

is British eat some fish and chips from Liverpool to Ipswich from the land of Quidditch I wrote a bunch of those

and that felt good from the land of Quidditch yeah from Liverpool to Ipswich yeah dog anyway I'm in

they're not that good if you donate $200 to Planned Parenthood I will share the lyrics with you Yeah, dog. Anyway. They're not that good. If you donate $200 to Planned Parenthood, I will share the lyrics with you and you can laugh at me. Wow. Look at that. Will you do it? I will record it and send it to you. Let's see if I got $200. No, I didn't mean it.

Only people who I don't have to see in real life. This is how we do it. That's an excellent pick. It's good. You know, it's a little on the nose, but I think it's okay. I'm in the minority on that of people being... I don't think so.

I'm done with it. Torched on that song. But I know it's just... It's exactly what the room needs a lot of the time, and I don't mind, you know. You're hammered. Are you still done with it? No. You know, honestly, even even drunk it doesn't get me.

I don't believe you. We can test that this afternoon. If somebody comes up to me and they're like, what should I sing? And I'm like, when did you graduate high school? And they're like, 2001. And I'm like, okay, here you go. This is how you do it. You'll know every word without looking at the screen.

You'll just know. It's just in your DNA. I think I got every word. Absolutely. It's Friday night. Feeling all right. When did that come out? I don't know.

96? I bet. 95, 96. 94? Okay. It's time for your fourth pick, Bray. All right. So let's get weird.

Yes. Yeah. All right. Actually, let's talk about, so you're ending the karaoke night, right? Everybody's pretty shitty, you know?

Shitty on like sugar drinks. Yeah. Sugar drinks. Jackeries and margaritas and stuff. Reach a critical point. I'm going to puke right. And still not really done partying,

but it's got to have a note of finality to it. And this is going to be very familiar to those of you who stayed the course at Bridgetown Comedy Festival. Folks, I'm going with Boyz II Men, End of the Road. All of our shirts off. Yeah, I was going to say, that's a shirt unbuttoned. Let the police hit the nips. Is that what that picture is from? All of our shirts off. Yeah. I was going to say, that's a shirt unbuttoned. Let the police hit the nips.

Is that what that picture is from? Yeah. I didn't make it to the end of Sunday at Bridgetown. I saw it via Instagram. There were like 30 of us on stage with our shirts off singing that song. Ladies, dudes, it didn't matter. It was awesome. Tits in the wind. That was like the coolest Portland picture I've ever seen.

It was great. It was pretty legit. That was like a beautiful, like, that's what you always want it to be. There's great harmonies in there,

you know, and you can, there really is. Boyz II Men fucking rip. You can kind of sing it even if you can't sing. Yes. Everybody's singing.

All you have to feel it. Everybody's trying. After the song was over, we just kept singing the chorus over and over and over again. like five times. Come to the end of the road. And I can't let go.

It's unnatural. You belong to me. I belong to you. Girl. Yeah, it just keeps going like that. I like Mike when he kicks in on the bass. He's speaking first. Girl. Dude. Yeah, it just keeps going like that. I like Mike when he kicks in on the low, on the bassy speaking

verse. Girl. I'm sorry. Just come back to me, baby. Please just come back to me. That one's so good.

And it does have, it's the perfect song to end a night. I don't even know, that could be my favorite boys to men song. I think it's mine.

Nate, Sean, Mike, and Wanya, dude. No big. Wanya. Wanya. Yeah, Into the Road is and Wanya, dude. No big. Wanya. Wanya. Yeah, into the road is fucking clutch. You just don't realize. This has been a really Philadelphia-heavy podcast.

It has been. It's just that city. Philly knows how to fucking party. Shout out to Philly, man. Yeah, man. They do know how to party. Yep. You'll go to an after-hours club there, and people are thick until 4 a.m.

That's what I like. It's rad. I love a good 4 a.m. party. Which LA's trying to pass it? Are they? There you are. What? Bars open until 4?

Yeah. How do I vote for it twice? You kind of need it, though. Yeah, you need it. No, I don't need it. I don't need it. Sean's going to vote again. I'm telling you right now, I don't need that.

Sean looked off into the distance and like shuddered. I am going, this is not a joke. I'm going to commit voter fraud and make that. Voter suppression. I don't need to be at fucking Little Joy till four in the morning. It doesn't have to be Little Joy. It has to be the Ruth, though. But it could be the Ruth.

Imagine, they're selling popcorn chicken till four. Dog. How much better would it taste at four? I mean, yeah, you know I'm going, but yeah. I just don't need it, just come to my bed. That's when you're picking out who you're going to take home that night. I mean, you've already picked them out. I don't get to pick that out.

That was me pointing at that leftover pizza. Just grab it, that sizzle pie box. Where are you going with that whole pizza? I'm going where I'm going, dude. Going to room 201 at the Jupiter Hotel. You know where I'm going. Middle of the street. Naked except for my socks. That is the weirdest drunk is like comedy festival, 4 a.m., just blotto.

Because you're in the mindset of like. Making, eating like that weird whatever you bought at the gas station. is like comedy festival 4am just blotto just like you're in the mindset of like making eating like that weird whatever you want at the gas station sun so much sugar

in there oh man how's in donuts for some reason at 5 in the morning you don't need donuts right now when we were kings

Sean speaking of being a king Sean why don't you why don't you put on that crown and make your fourth pick Alright

This might be the one that people get bummed on Okay It's gonna be Howie, AJ Nick, Kevin, and Brian The Backstreet Boys, I Want It That Way Yes It's an amazing song

I think it ain't nothing but a mistake But that's I Want It That Way. Yes! It's an amazing song. I think it ain't nothing but a mistake, but that's... No, it's a great pick. See, David knows the lyrics. It's a great pick. It's really good. Cool. I haven't had a fuck up yet.

Real. No, you've got a stronger act. Normally I blow it. I'm excited. Very kind of emotional, like, lady... I mean, lady catcher songs. You know what?

You know what's fun with this song about karaoke is they do the, tell me why he, and it turns into like a bit. Because you, you know, tell me why he, ain't nothing but a heartache. Tell me why he. It's like a, you know, like, it's just fun. Also a great tambourine song. Yeah. Oh, I can see that. A great tambourine song. All right. Yeah. Backstreet Boys, I, it's just fun. Also a great tambourine song. Yeah. Oh, I can see that.

A great tambourine song. All right. Yeah. Backstreet Boys, I want it that way. That's a, that's a great pick. Yeah.

Do you go up, have you sung it before? Mm-hmm. Couple times. Solo, dolo, or with a- Solo,

dolo. It's, I didn't do well, ever. Hey, yeah. It's one of those where I think I know the lyrics until I'm singing,

I'm like, I don't know these fucking lyrics that well. And I'm always off. Don't want to hear you say nothing but nothing. That's when the tambourine comes in. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's when I just walk up and pour my beer on the closest guy. Don't want to hear you say.

Man, the Backstreet Boys. Good for them, you know. And it's a bottle of beer, too, so it takes a while to pour all over the guy, but he sits there. He takes it. He takes it. It's a long time. Yeah, yeah. It's like 10 seconds, and I'm like, deal with it.

Look, look, look. You're a jerk, Sean. Not really. Only when the boys are playing. Yeah, yeah. Only when he's getting rowdy with his backstreet boys. Me and my boys on the backstreets. They're back, all right.

There it is. Sometimes you don't have to say a bunch about a pick. Sometimes it can just sit there and be. No, I feel it. I feel it 100%. A lot of hand gestures can be incorporated. A lot of old boy band dancing. There was a lot of that, wasn't there?

Yes. Because could they dance? I don't think so. Kevin was like 45. And sing could dance, but like... When I was in middle school, I learned all those dances for the music videos. They're not very complicated. No, they're pretty easy.

I think it's greater to do them. They're plotting. Yeah. Kevin had like knee problems at that point. He was an old man. He couldn't be dancing. He also always looked to me like... He looked to me like some kind of a French ne'er-do-well.

Kevin? Yeah. Which one? He did. Kevin, the old dude. The old dude in the Backstreet Boys. Nah, he's hot. No, he's hot.

I think he's attractive. Yeah, George Clooney's hot. He looks like a French guy who's going to make you lose your passport. He's going to make me lose something. I just want to backtrack for a second. Why did you bring George Clooney's hot? Yeah, he is. Does he look like a ne'er-do-well to you?

No, we were just talking about how old he was. How old Kevin is. And it's like old people can still be hot. George Clooney's hot. But he was like 28. He wasn't like old old. No, I know. But when we were 11, should we be really trying to fuck a 28-year-old?

Maybe I just wanted to say George Clooney's hot. I always was trying to play outside my league. Me too. I was trying to ball the majors from day one wanted to say George Clooney's hat I always was trying to play outside my league me too I was trying to ball the majors from day one yeah George Clooney's attractive can't get minor league dick from a

major league you know it can't get major league dick from a minor league dick yeah yeah there it is you can't get dick you just can't get dick you can't get dick

from a BSB you can't get NSYNC dick from a BSB dude there it is there it is you hear that How, Howie? Howie. That'd be a fun family feud, NSYNC versus Backstreet Boys.

Was it that song? Yeah, that would be fun. Wouldn't that be a time? Steve Harvey would hate it. Holy shit, dude. I have been really watching some Steve Harvey. We were watching the feud in that hotel room. Bree and I watched quite a bit of feud.

The feud. Steve Harvey said the funniest thing. Somebody said an answer, and Steve goes, I don't always know what's on the board, but I always know what's not on the board. And that ain't on the board. Like, what a fucking cold thing to say. Steve Harvey's, like, that's one of the funnier things on TV.

Ice water in the clutch, man. Steve knows what time it is for sure. Yeah, he's so good at it. Amazing. Great pick, Sean. Okay, number four. Oh, it's up to me for number four. All right, I'm going to take a thing that I respect you for not picking,

because I know you could have turned my whole world upside down. This is my personal favorite karaoke song. And you kind of got to do it at, like, a hipster karaoke place, because not everywhere has it. But the song is Hang Me Up to Dry, or Out to Dry, by the Cold War Kids. Cold War. I've heard you do that one. I'm curious.

I have a video of it. I don't even know it. It's my favorite. Hang me out to dry. Close. You do it. I won't sing it the way I sing it, because it'll get too loud, but it's like that. Hang me out to dry.

You'll run me out too, too, too many times. Oh, that's good. Yeah. They did a free show at Pioneer Square in Portland like four years ago that I went to.

I love the Cold War Kids. Their new album is fantastic, by the way. Shout out to the Cold War Kids. I've always wanted to do We Used to Vacation as a karaoke song, but it doesn't exist. That dude has an amazing voice.

Amazing voice. That guy's got an amazing voice. And their bass player, Mr. Mouser is his name on Twitter and Instagram. I forget what his real name is, but he's like a comedy fan. So shout out to him. Hell yeah. Say it out. Yeah.

Say it out. It just felt right. It just felt right. He's fun. But that song is so fucking funny. And it's like, you can kind of gravelly scream sing it. Yeah, where you hold the mic like two feet away, but you're like, they're going to hear it. You're like, I don't really even need this microphone.

Yeah, and it's got like... My voice sounds like an old dirt road. Yeah, it does. Your voice, it does sound like an old dirt road. With like a drunk falling asleep in the gutter and you're the drunk. Yeah, dad's driving me home drunk in his old Chevy on the dirt road.

I'll tell you what, Pat Jordan never drove me home. That's a great end of the night song because it's also about like I've drank too much. You know what I mean? Just hang me up to dry. Sleep with stains cake deep in my knees what a shame. It's so good. Cake deep in my knees. What a shame.

It's so good. It is good, man. It's really good. And then the guitar parts are really dope. Yeah, it's just my fucking personal favorite song. And it's, fourth is a good spot for that. Yeah, I wanted to put it fourth. So let's go fourth.

Because it's not for everybody. Nobody was going to pick that. All mixed up in the wash. Hot water. Yeah, you can like really pause on those notes a little bit. I don't know why when I close my eyes and think of someone singing it, I think of Shane Torres. Oh, I can see that. Doesn't Shane have a beautiful voice that he's never told anyone about?

Well, we don't know. He's a fucking opera singer. He trained in like operatic singing. What? Yeah. Yeah. He's classically trained. Curiouser and curiouser. Or. He's like an onion dude, layers for days. Or it's his greatest like operatic singing. He's classically trained in... What? Yeah. Yeah. He's classically trained. Curiouser and curiouser.

Or... He's like an onion dude, layers for days. Or it's his greatest lie yet. Yeah. He does lie. He is... He does lie. He's what I call a reasonable liar, where he will tell you a lie that is so believable,

where he'll be like, yeah... But that doesn't seem believable to me at all. I was a Golden Gloves boxer as a kid. But it does, though. It does, though. It does, though. It's all within the realm of possibility. He'll be like, my uncle dated Kathy Ireland. And you're like, oh, okay, maybe.

Yeah, maybe. Why would you lie about that? Maybe that happened. Yeah. My cousin's the CEO of Budweiser. Yeah, and you're like, well, maybe. But didn't he actually study? I think so.

Yes. Well, so Shane also was in a band. He's told me the name and I forget, but he has an album where he's the singer and he will never, obviously he's never going to let me hear it because it would come up. There's one song he does at karaoke. It's the only, I've never even seen him do it. Yeah, I don't want to say it, but yeah. And he kills it.

He's a good singer. Yeah, he is, right? So he is a good singer. I have that fact in my brain, but I don't kills it. He's a good singer. Yeah, he is, right? So he is a good singer. I have that fact in my brain, but I don't know why. He's a man blessed with many talents. He can draw from deep in there. When he belts it out, he belts it out. That feels like a result of training.

Yes. I think it is. I think. I really think he did it at North Texas, right? Which is like a good music school. Is that where he went? I don't know. I don't know either.

Man, different lives for this guy. He's amazing. He's amazing. You've got to remember, we met on One to Shame. who's 26 when he moved to portland something like that oh my god that's a long time that's a that's like it's a lifetime that's almost eight years of being an adult under his belt yeah the first time i felt like a real comedian in portland shane was closing out lonnie's contest at the boiler room yeah and he made fun of everybody and he goes sean jordan i don't know you but I don't like you. I remember that. I'm in. I remember that. I'm in.

Shane brought it up. He started making fun of you. That's where this started. That's where it started. He made fun of all of us. He made fun of me, too. Yeah. That's why I hate him so much.

That's why we got to give him the medicine. Fuck around and won that contest. Stunting. Yep. The only reason I even got into the contest is because Shane couldn't. Yeah. I took his spot. Ended up going to the finals. Took a gentleman's fifth place out of five. Stunting Yep The only reason I even got into the contest Is because Shane couldn't Yeah I took his spot Ended up going to the finals

Took a gentleman's fifth place out of five No big deal That's terrible That's not terrible Got fifth out of five But you know I was in there David boy Is it time for your third?

Or fourth? Fourth final pick I'm just gonna start singing it And you're gonna have to sing along with me Not a big deal Because it's so good Not a big deal i took her out it was a friday night i walk alone to get the feeling right we started making

out and she took off my pants and then i turned on the tv that's about the time she walked away from me nobody likes you when you're 23. And you still look like you're a freshman year. What the hell is wrong with me? My friends say I should act my age. What's my age again? What's my age again? Now, do you change the lyrics to 33 at this point in your life? I would. Not yet,

but in three years, I will. Nobody likes you when you're 30. It doesn't matter. It's close. That song is so fun. Nobody likes you when you're 30. It doesn't matter. That's close. I just like, that song is so fun. Like, Blink is fun to sing anyways. Blink is so fun.

That song, that was like, I didn't like music like that at that age. Yeah. But I liked that song because they were making fun of your previous pick. Yeah. And I remember watching the video and I was like, oh, these guys think the Backstreet Boys are lame, too. Yes. Marketed right to me. It was like them and Eminem were going on on the Backstreet Boys.

While also appearing on TRL. Yeah. While doing the same exact thing. Literally taking it down from the inside, which is hilarious. And they were a boy band as well. Totally a boy band. Definitely. They were so dreamy.

Oh, man. They sang about love all as well. Totally. Definitely. They were so dreamy. I had big time crushes. They sang about love all the time. All the time. In the car, I just can't wait to pick you up for our very first date. It was Mark and Travis. And what was the other dude's name? Mark, Tom, and Travis. Tom DeLonge.

Tom DeLonge, who is a flat earther or something now. Yeah, he's probably a boys and aliens. He's a flat earther? I think something like that. He's a flat usher. How thick is the earth? If the earth is flat, how thick is it? You don't want to do this.

What? How thick is the earth if it's flat? Well, none of us believe that. I know, but I'm just saying, like, speculate. I don't understand what you're saying. It's like a nice thin, like a thin slice. Ooh, like a thin slice. Or if you go into the deli, you tell them, no, no, even thinner than that.

Even thinner than what melts in your mouth with the fat and the salt. Ian looks like De Niro right now. The fat and the salt. He's got the De Niro thing going on. You're going to cut him all to death like that, and you just want to walk to the Vatican and you thank the Pope himself. Probably about that. So it's about that.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Somewhere in that neighborhood. Flat Earther Theory is all from Italy. Yeah. It's all old Italians. Yeah.

They just love talking about Carpaccio. Well, they got the Leaning Tower of Pisa. They don't know what's going on. Their whole shit's off-screen. It's all off. Sean, you didn't give me any credit for Flat Urscher. Did you even hear it? No.

Flat Urscher. Like Usher? Urscher, baby. Well, now I feel bad to give you belated credit. That's dank, though. Thank you. Wait, that segues perfectly. Because for my fifth and final pick, I'll give you belated credit. That's dank, though. Thank you. Wait, that segues perfectly. Yeah.

Because for my fifth and final pick. Oh. Woo. It's seven o'clock on the dot. Yeah. I'm in my drop top cruising the streets. What do you got waiting? Oh, yeah.

I got a real pretty, pretty little thing that's waiting for me. What do you do? I pull up. What are you anticipating? Anticipating. A good love. Are you going to keep her waiting? Don't keep me waiting. I got plans. Where are you anticipating? Anticipating. A good love. Are you going to keep her waiting? Don't keep me waiting.

I got plans to put my hands in places I've never seen. Girl, you know what I mean. So let me take you to a place that's nice and quiet. Won't be nobody there to interrupt. Ain't got a rush. I just want wanna take it Nice and slow What do they call you?

What? They call me U-S-H-E-R-R-A-Y-M-O-N-D Now baby tell me what you wanna do with me I don't know the rest You got a brother feeling like Joe to see Every time that we roll with me Hold me nice and slow This is how the hook go Yeah that song like Joe to see. Every time that we roll with me, hold me nice and slow. You don't have a leg. Go, go, go.

This is how the hook go. Yeah, that song, listen to that, watch that video this morning. This morning? This morning. Amazing. This morning,

it's so good. You're gonna have a great day. That was when I liked Usher the most. That was, only two. That song was what made me like Usher.

Because before he had like My Way. My Way was my favorite Usher. See, I wasn't super into My Way. Wasn't this the second single off that album? Second single, I think. Yeah. No, the first.

Second or third? My Way. The first single was You Make Me Want to Leave. The one. That was the first single. A new relationship. That was the first. That was a culture hit.

That's a banger, though. That song's dope. It's so rude, though. I don't like that. Yeah, it is. It is rude. My Way is rude, too, but it's, I can't like that. Yeah, it is. Well, my way is rude too, but I can't. And you remind me also rude. Yeah. Usher has

terrible boundaries and like, let's not even get into it. But that's why you love him because he's so flawed. I mean, the kind of kid that's gonna fucking try to mack on Chili when he's 16. Exactly. And then leave Chili because some other girl reminds him of Chili. It's ridiculous. Guys, we're not here to talk about

I feel like we're dogging on Usher. I know, we're dogging on him and sometimes you just gotta let it burn. By the way, Usher's the only person in this draft who's been picked by two different people. Well, he was on my list. That was the first song that's come up that's been on my list. You brought up Climax earlier.

That's like the third Usher installment. He is just so great. Everybody knows it. That video was cool because he played like... He was like saving the girl member. He was like secret agent style. It was like under the Eiffel Tower with his guitar he couldn't really play.

Man, milk in the abs. Usher used to take his pants off when he was a boy. We just thought that was cool. He took his pants off when he was a boy. Oh, yeah. And we just thought that was cool. Right. He took his pants off all the time. Like Tommy underwear and stuff? Yeah.

I wanted some Tommy underwear so bad. We'd look different in it. It's not for us. I've always known. That's why I don't have it. Nobody's going to buy any Tommy underwear if I'm advertising it. Can I share just a shout out

to a thing I've seen girls, and even the way a man lays with a woman with certain girls who rock this kind of underwear. Is it like the Calvin Klein or if anyone's doing it? Oh, that stuff is so cool. There's like the band

on the bottom of it. The old Aaliyah look. And on the top. Fuck, it's hot. Yeah, it's great. Fuck, shout out to that. It's so hot. Aaliyah back in the day.

I just saw some of that on Instagram earlier too. Yeah, goddamn. Oh, Aaliyah was in that. Aaliyah had Tommy boxers. Like a Daisy Duke denim shirt and like the Tommy boxers kind of up around her waist and then the pants sagging with the Timbs. She would have a giant sweatsuit on.

I'm thrilled that those looks are back. They look awesome. It's crazy. Like a sports bra, real baggy jeans with the underwear showing is odd as well. Like parachute pants tucked into combat boots. Give it to me. That's all I've ever wanted to be. I'm in. Give it to me. But yeah all I've ever wanted to be. I'm in.

Give it to me. But yeah, that's my fifth pick. I feel good about it. Amazing. I love both of those songs. Beautiful. I think that,

yeah, I think that in all the karaoke, like, it's all I have to hear is seven and I'm like, yeah, I'm in.

Yeah. That song is, can be really talky too. Like if you can't sing and you just, you grab a girl, like look at a girl or a guy that you're trying to if you can't sing and you just, you grab a girl, like look at a girl or a guy

that you're trying to fuck and look at them and just say, I just wanna take it nice and slow. It's not like that when I do it though. It's tight.

Because I'm sweaty and I'm drunk and it's just like, I just want to take it nice and slow. If you keep the volume real loud, the opposite of Ian, just keep the volume real low and just talk it into the, I love it.

I just want to take it nice and slow. Wow, did you guys hear that? That was all the panties dropping. Sean Jordan's got a huge boner. Yeah, yeah, you can see it because I'm wearing mesh shorts and my voice just cracked. He just knocked his list out of his lap. I saw that it ends with like a pro.

A rocketing boner. A rocketing boner. Carwheel, what do we got? An excellent pick. I, fuck, I want to go with like a crowd pleaser a little bit, but I'm not gonna.

Good. I know, I'm gauging my next pick on what you do. I'm going super weird. I'm going a song that, I might be one of the only people on earth who karaoke's this song. I bet.

I'm going with Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite by the Beatles. I earth who karaoke's this song. I bet. I'm going with Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite by the Beatles. I don't know that song. No one knows what that is. Right, it's a Beatles deep cut. Sing it. Give me a little. Being for the benefit of Mr. Kite there will be a show tonight on

trampoline. The Hendersons will all be there. Lady Pablo Frank is there. What a scene. Once was K and Asia. Sure, the public, their production will be second to none. And of course, Henry the Horse dances the waltz. I may have messed up.

It kills, doesn't it? It's a fuck. It's like this crazy. It's theatrical. It's theatrical. What I love to do. So this is a very specific. I got to be grunk.

Three sheets, yeah. With a G. Six sheets to win. Grunk. Grunk. Grunk. I got to be grunk. Not drunk.

Grunk. A, B, C, D, E, F, G. All the way to the grunk. And I got to get a glass with just scotch in it and two ice cubes. Preferably Cutty Sark brand scotch. Preferably. Shout out to Cutty Sark. Live your life to its Preferably Cutty Sark brand Scott. Preferably. Shout out to Cutty Sark. Live your life to its fullest.

Cutty Sark. The G is silent, but your taste shouldn't be. Feel the worst you've ever felt the next day. Book yourself a ticket on the Cutty Sark. So you want to be hammered. You want to go up with a glass. If in a scenario where I was wearing a tie, the tie would be undone. Oh, yeah.

Loose, right? I'm visualing as a tie on your head, maybe. I don't know. I'm picturing an undone bow tie. You want to be an undone bow tie. Yeah. So I think what you're seeing, because I think you are getting a very strong spiritual image, is my hair sweat slicked on my forehead.

Absolutely. Yeah. Okay. And then you just like drunk talk your way through the song. And then there's these like soaring weird like the the parts where there's no singing are these weird like carnival music parts to it where it's like calliope and it feels like you're on a like like uh like a merry-go-round but like like a crazy willy wonka like dark kind of merry-go-round yeah uh and it's just weird but i totally understand

it's super weird but it's fun to just like clink some ice cubes around and booze your way through it. You sing it when you're on the verge of blackening. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that's the last thing you remember. And it's super weird. And you have to, I mean, because the bar might not go crazy for it, so you're going to have to use a lot of charm. I got it.

They have to see me do the other songs. They have to see me do the other songs. But the people who know that song they fucking love that song yeah i get that i bet you got a lot of british friends who like you when you sing that song yeah uh shout out to my british friends that's like late beatles right uh it's i think it's mid it's mid-late it's definitely they've been they've gone psychedelic yeah i think it might even be on uh it's like's like Maxwell's Silver Hammer style bizarre. Yeah. I don't know what.

But like more, but like way more fun than Maxwell's. Yeah. You know what the Silver Hammer is too? It's what they would use to make sure the Pope was dead. It's off Sergeant Pepper's. Yeah. Maxwell's Silver Hammer. What? Yeah, so like they would never have two Popes. So back in the day, when they thought the Pope

was dead, they would bash his head in with. So back in the day, when they thought the pope was dead, they would bash his head in with a hammer. Holy shit, what? I don't mean to... So they would make sure there was not two popes. That is gnarly. It just seems like a more... It just seems like a less violent way to go about this. They had to make sure.

Like, oh my gosh, I've loved you. No, it's Catholics, it's gotta be epic. I've loved you my whole life, pope. Smack! Who smashes the pope's head? God. Is it the new pope? Let me make sure that's true. is it the new pope let me make sure

let me make sure that's true and that's not just a thing i made i thought maxwell silverhammer was a euphemism for drugs but it probably was and i may have just it's just terrible if you made that up they bash his head with the hammer i don't care that's amazing to me yeah i have to look it up. It's insane if you made that up. That's the only way. You're a crazy person. I'm going to call the loony bin.

Blood in, blood out. That's the only way they get a new pope is for the new pope to bash you. Well, Benedict retired. What? Benedict retired. But when he died. He was retired by a hammer to the dome. Okay, yeah, yeah.

So, okay, never mind. They don't bash his head. When the pope dies, one of the head cardinals in the Vatican performs a ceremony where he taps on the Pope's forehead three times with a silver hammer while saying his name to make sure he's dead. Yeah. So maybe they don't bash his head, but they're like, John Paul. They're hinting at it.

No, I'm sleeping. Okay, I wasn't wrong. I just made it way more fun. Or something. Fun's a word to talk about killing a pope with. But making sure the pope is dead. Mr. Kite. Being for the benefit of Mr. Kite. Being for the benefit of Mr. Kite.

It's a song based on a poster they saw about a traveling circus. Wow. Mr. Kite's traveling circus? Or the circus being for the benefit of Mr. Kite. There are a lot of B-sides. Is Kite the last name? Yeah. Kite?

Tom Kite. So what came first, the kite or the toy? I'm going to say the name, probably. Say the name. I'm thinking that's some sort of kite inventor. Was the kite... Sorry, this is going nowhere. Kite is also a bird?

There's a kite bird? Yeah. Kite-in. What's that? It's a kitten. Oh, no, that's like a little cockroach-looking thing. A kite-in. C-H-Y-T-O-N, I think. I don't know.

It's like a sea-dwelling creature. We're definitely getting to the end of the podcast. So for my number five, we ready for it? Yeah. Now, it's going to be Love Me, Love Me by shaggy and janet jackson how does that one go again oh boy i love you so never ever gonna let you go once i get my hands on you love me love me sex machine i just wanted to do my shit give a little bit of that a little bit of that little no sugar oh it's yeah it sounds kind of like who we do in louis it also sounds like a little bit of that. A little bit of that. Let them know. Sugar. Ooh. It's, yeah, dude.

It sounds kind of like who we do in Louis. It kind of sounds like Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. It also sounds like Meatwad a little bit. Yeah. You think your shaggy

is so much better than it is. I think so. I'm sorry. Give a little bit of this. A little bit of that. Let them know. Ooh. Sugar.

All right, it's actually pretty good. Never mind. They call me Mr. Boombastic, really fantastic. Ripping in the box, she says, I'm Mr. Romantic. You guys probably thought Shaggy was here. It was just me. I thought that Donald Duck's three nephews were here.

And they just got back from Jamaica boarding school. Like Louie grew up. Have you ever heard Shaggy talk when he's not singing? Yeah. He sounds like fucking Huey Lewis. It's crazy. He's got such a deep voice. Sure.

It's nuts. Yeah. Anyway, that song, when I was like 14, that was the first. We went to this all ages night at a dance club. Oh, man. And that was like the first time I was like, this is fucking. You guys remember those? Shout out to Club Bash in Denver, Colorado. Oh, man. And that was like the first time I was like, this is fucking, this is tight. You guys remember those? Shout out to Club Bash

in Denver, Colorado. I never went, but shout out to Jams with a Z in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Shout out to those kids that fought us and made sure we didn't

go inside Club Bash in Denver, Colorado. The tough older kids. You grew up in Portland as well, right? Sure did. Did you ever go to the hoop or anything,

any of those, or what was the one down town? It was called the, yeah, of those? Or what was the one downtown? It was called the, yeah, I went there. What was the one downtown? I can't remember. And then there was a shooting and then they closed it. I had an ex-boyfriend who was the bouncer there. Whoa.

Whoa. Because he was like underage. Did he have kid bouncers too? Yeah, well, he was like 20 or whatever. Okay. I thought it was like, it's all teens. Teens work the door. The vibe.

Teens sell drugs inside. I forget what it was called. The unit? We have a bunch of Portland organ listeners. Chime in. Yeah, tweet at us. Add me and Bree. Yeah, that was a fun dance club for me to go to if I wanted a penis in my back, I guess,

because that was the whole vibe there. Are there fun clubs to go to if I wanted a penis in my back, I guess, because that was the whole vibe there. Are there fun clubs to go to? Are there nightclubs that you go to where you don't? It seems like that happens a ton. Anymore, I set hella hard boundaries. I, like, will look. If somebody comes and dances up at me, I will look through them.

And it's, like, the most, like, dehumanizing thing ever. And then they walk away. That sounds scary. It's amazing. Well, nobody gets to touch me, you know? No, yeah. dehumanizing thing ever and then they walk away. That sounds scary. It's amazing. That's good though. Nobody gets to touch me. No, yeah.

So I get to treat that, if you touch me without my consent, I get to treat you however I want. Absolutely. It's great. I have all kinds of moves now. And now, women, I think,

have moves to protect each other from that kind of thing. I've seen that. I've seen that at work. Also, if you bring Solomon Giorgio to a dance club, you won't get any fools touching you because he's a dude screen. He's amazing. I've seen him work. Guy also. Guy bring Solomon Giorgio to a dance club, you won't get any fools touching you because he's a

dude screen. He's amazing. I've seen him work. Guy also. Guy Brand. Guy's amazing. Well, yeah. And Guy's like the

size of an NFL offensive line. Caps like boulders. He looks like he's got rocks in his legs. He's fucking big. He's a specimen. He's so amazing.

He's fantastic. Solomon, too. Best legs in show dance. Gorgeous. It's crazy. They don't stop. They don't stop they don't

they go all the way up they go all the way up from the floor all the way up to heaven so that was that was me number five you wanna you wanna close it out

oh yeah breathe on you so many places for me to go but I gotta I gotta throw some Motown on my list because I'm I'm just a fan of

Motown I think it's a great party song and also not everybody does it so I'm gonna say it of Motown. I think it's a great party song and also not everybody does it. So I'm going to say it was like my first karaoke jam, Please Mr. Postman. Oh!

Mr. Postman. Maybe you can do it. Maybe? I maybe did it the last time we were we did karaoke together. I think you fucking tore it up. It's like a great way to tell the crowd, look I'm about to sing. Yeah.

Oh, yes. Wait a minute, Mr. Postman. Yeah, you definitely did it. Damn. That was so dope. I want you to finish the song. I just want to hear the whole thing. Oh, hey, hey, hey, Mr. Postman.

Please, Mr. Postman. Oh, yeah. Why can't I sing? Oh, my God. Because you can skateboard. God doesn't give us that. Yeah, I can't skateboard, buddy. God only gives you can skateboard God doesn't give a shit Yeah I can't skateboard buddy God only gives you so much

Yeah that's true God must have spent A little more time on you You know I wish I wish she would have Given me the ability to sing Oh Over skateboarding?

Oh Oh Wow That was brave Oh did you spend A small amount of time In Portland? Did you

Date a feminist Wow No I just used to listen To Dishwalla a lot Oh yeah Oh yeah sure Please Mr. Postman Motown is always a good

And like Stevie Wonder Would also be Like something I'd pull out Yeah I had ABC On my list Yes Everybody does that I feel like

Signed Seal Delivered Is good because it makes You think about Obama You know It makes a gentler time A happier time I do Uptight Baby That song is great Signed Seal Delivered is good because it makes you think about Obama. You know? It makes a gentler time. A happier time. I do Uptight.

Baby. That song is great. Baby. Everything is all right. I'm fine. I decide. Who's that by? Steve Wonder.

Oh, fuck. Stevlin Judkins. Stevlin Judkins? Wait, what? Bob's in Dugnut? That's his. So there's some controversy on the wiki page. His last name was Judkins for like a while.

It was Stevlin Judkins, which is bananas. And Ian told me, he goes, I don't know, like a year or two ago, he's like, guess what Stevie Wonder's real name is? Yeah. Stevland. I thought it was Stevland. We both did. And then I think Amy was like, it's Stevland, but still absurd. Pretty bizarre. Amy would know exactly. She wouldvland, but still absurd. Pretty bizarre.

Amy would know exactly. She would. Yeah, she's a Stevie Wonder guy. But yeah, Stevland Judkins. Stevland. Another, are we saying songs that should have made it? Yeah, let's go to Honor Woman. I should have done this instead of This Is How We Do It,

but Shout by the Isley Brothers is such a good, I mean, that's very wedding-y, but like, you know, if you're confident enough to tell the crowd a little bit softer now or lower now, it's great. People love to be told what to do in a party setting. Everybody wants a role. I like Common People by Pulp. Yes. If you can sing it as a fun one.

I put One in a Million by Aaliyah. Oh, yeah. Your love is a one in a million. Jolene. Oh, yeah, Jolene. If you can get it done. If you can get it done. That's tough.

It's one of the best songs. Going back to Usher, I got one. Loving This Club. Oh, man. That's a great one because, yeah, that's what they say. Yeah, you know. Loving This Club. That song is awesome.

You get the whole crowd going, hey, that's the best. That song is the greatest. I remember listening to that song and being like, man, I'm never gonna, that's a height I'll never reach. I just don't move in a way that I could be like,

you wanna... Fuck in this club? You wanna make love? You wanna fuck in the club? Am I so hot that you can't wait to go anywhere? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of like Pony. It's like one of those songs about...

He pulls his ID out, he's like, I am Usher. Man, we were just at a bar three days ago and Pony came on. Oh, gosh. Your boy Sean Jordan almost got into dancing with a couple. I got hit on. There was a party next to us.

A dude grabbed me when I was walking by and he's just like, hey. I was like, what up, man? That's cool. Shades on in the bar like a dick. I was like, what up, man? That's cool. It was tight. That's so cool. Shades on in the bar like a dickhead. Sean Jordan, let's do it. Ride it, my pony. Sean Jordan is forever what I say.

No, totally keep going. I love it. Ride it, Sean Jordan. We could do this for another couple hours. You guys just want to keep doing that. Pony is also a good karaoke song. It's pretty good. When people mess it up, I feel like, like when just want to keep doing that. Pony is also a good karaoke song. It's pretty good. When people mess it up, I feel like,

like, when I want to hear Pony, I don't want to hear you sing Pony. I want to hear Pony. Yeah, genuine. Like, most other songs, I'm like, okay, like, oh, yeah, that's fun to hear some of it, but I want to hear, I want to hear. Pony for sure passes and aces the first notes

of the song test, right? Oh, I bet. Yeah. Everybody just, like, gets it. Buh, buh, buh. Everybody just gets it. You feel it in your... Everybody feels it in their crotch. Getting real low, dancing real dirty. I'm kind of...

I'm similar to Montel Jordan. I'm a little played out on Pony myself. Yeah, I can see that. It's the Channing Tatum Magic Mike. I've seen Magic Mike too many times. I've never seen Magic Mike. Well, fellas, let's have a night. I've seen it.

I think it's hilarious and it's awesome. I heard that XXL is better. No, I don't agree. I like them both, but the first one's Wade. The first one's awesome. All right, fair. It's a comedy, obviously, but it's one of those comedies that kind of tricks you. It's also a drama.

Donald Glover, what are you doing in there? God damn. It's so weird. What a talented gentleman. Yeah, he pops up a lot. But he is so skinny and not a stripper body in that movie. It's weird. Sure.

Oh, is he dancing too? He's like a dancer, but he puts his own spin on it. Speaking of karaoke, I do Heartbeat by Childish Gambino. It's a fun song. Oh, yeah. If I could sing Wrecking Ball would be fun. Wrecking Ball's

great. All those pop anthems are really great, like Katy Perry Roar, Firework. Oh, Shane's is Buttercup. Shane does Buttercup. What's Buttercup? Why do you build me up? Oh, build me up, Buttercup.

Buttercup, yeah. Oh, is that what it's called, build me up? It's called build me up, Buttercup. I call it Shane. Whenever I hear that song, I'm like, oh, Shane's playing. This song needs a haircut. Toto by, or Africa by Toto? Absolutely.

Oh, Hold the Line by Toto. Yeah. I think I'd rather be Africa. No, no, no, what is it? No, no, no, man. I just wanted to say Hold the haircut. Or Africa by Toto? Absolutely. Oh, Hold the Line by Toto. I think I'd rather be African. Yeah, I would too. I just wanted to say Hold the Line. How do you guys feel about Frank Sinatra?

I love it. Because I was thinking, Ian, I was thinking I was going to hear Sinatra from you, Billy Joel. I didn't see any of it. A Matter of Trust

was on my list. Yeah. One, two, one, two, three, four. Shot. Yeah. We didn't start the fire. I had a weird Billy Joel experience recently where I feel like I didn't do the song justice,

so I'm kind of cooled on it for a minute. Italian restaurant. That's what I see you singing. I did Moving Out. Okay. Yeah, I would love to do a scene from an Italian restaurant. I'll fuck up. Ain't That a Kick in the Head by Dean Martin was one of my go-tos for a long time.

I get that. How lucky could one guy be? Mack the Knife. Oh, yeah. Copacabana is always a fun one. I always have fancy older men singing that one. This night's bad in Havana. Yeah, I want

you to do that in a linen suit. I've had linen dreams for... I've had linen dreams caught in ambitions, you know what I mean? There it is. I can't think of a better way to end the podcast. Oh, man. Linen dreams caught in ambitions.

So just to recap, David, you went with the Pokemon theme song, Call Me Al by Paul Simon, Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston, What's My Age Again by Blink-182, as British people call it for some fucking reason. Blink-182? Blink-182 and Nike. Oh, I've heard about reason. Blink-182? Blink-182 and Nike. Oh, I've heard about that. Couldn't be more upset about that. Nice and Slow by Usher.

Rounded it out. Ian Carmel started with What's Up by Four Non Blondes, Creep by Radiohead, which we all agree is a great song. I guess that's why they call it The Blues by Elton John. Hang Me Out to Dry by the Cold War Kids. Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite by the Beattles. Sean, you went with Careless Whisper by George Michael, Like a Prayer by Madonna, You Make

My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates, I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys, and then Mr. Lava Lava by Shaggy and Janet Jackson. I want to go sing them all. Bree, you did Yeah by Usher, Drunk in Love by Beyonce, This Is How We Do It by Montel Jordan, Into the Road by Boyz II Men, and then Please Mr. Postman by the Marvelettes. Fun. Hell yeah. Yeah, that's solid. Fun time, y'all.

Fun. Guys, be safe out there karaoke-ing. Yeah, be safe out there. Be cool, actually. I want you to be cool in the room. Oh, yeah, be cool out there. Yeah. We might have to fucking find a karaoke spot tonight or something.

No dicks in the back. I'm with that. Yeah, right? That might be the move. Anyway, just envision us shining while you're listening to this because we definitely will.

And then envision us crawling towards a breakfast burrito tomorrow morning. Yeah, that's how it goes. Do you want to say shakalakity? A shakalackity.