All Fantasy Everything - Kings and Queens (w/ Arlo Weierhauser, Sean Jordan, David Gborie)

Episode Date: February 4, 2021

We will never draft royals (roooooyyyyaaaaals) - psych, we did it today. Well, kind of. Arlo Weierhauser joins us to draft Kings and Queens. Check it out.Episode Guest:Arlo Weierhauser @arlocw IG: @arlo.c.weierhauserSupport the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbags, watchalongs, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of pop culture, from game shows to secondary Seinfeld characters and everything in between. On this episode, we're drafting kings and queens with comedian Arlo Weyerhaeuser.

I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me as always are comedians Sean Jordan and bon vivant comedian, author, filmmaker, lord of the dance, and master of international waters, David Borey. Let's get to that theme music. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that, uh, that, uh, I mean, for God's sake, decorated its office finally and had some hardwood floors put in. How do you like that? Oh, what?

What? They were already hardwood. No, they were already hardwood floors, though. But this was concrete. This is the room that had concrete floors, Sean, you'll remember. Yeah, that's that back room. I don't remember much.

I fell victim to consumption while I was in Los Angeles. That's true. Sean fell victim to consumption. I got tuberculosis and I can't remember much. For the listeners who weren't listening to before we started recording, which is all of you, as that is the nature of recording. Hold on one second. All right. Real quick, everybody listening, think to yourself, what do you think consumption means?

Okay. Think to yourself, what do you think consumption means? Okay? Most of you probably are going to side with Ian Arlo, David, and maybe Marge. She didn't speak up too much. Some of you, though, will side with me. Go ahead, Ian. Go ahead, Ian. Well, I also think you will find allies in this because, I mean, like the logic, we'll get into it after this. Sean, up until minutes before we started recording, this is hot off the press,

seconds before we started recording. This is fresh. This just happened. Within the week of you listening to this, thought that consumption, like the kind that Doc Holliday has portrayed by Val Kilmer in the movie Tombstone, he thought consumption meant alcoholism

rather than what it actually is, a colloquialism for tuberculosis. Arlo, yes. And has been saying that his bloodline has fallen to consumption. That's right. Every Jordan male has fallen victim to consumption. So now there's people who are like, Sean's family is keeping tuberculosis alive. You know what I love is that you were watching Tombstone

and by the end you're like, dude, Duck Holiday is fucking wasted. Say no more. I got it. He was wasted. I call him Dad Holiday after that documentary. Oh, Papa Holiday.

That's what we should call Santa Claus. Papa Holiday. Papa Holiday. Papa Holiday. Papa Holiday. I love that. I do too. Y'all want to watch me Papa Holiday? That's what he said when he hops in his sled.

More than anything. That's like code for Molly when you're at a Christmas party. Papa Holiday. Papa Holiday. Absolutely. Papa Holiday in sweat. Papa Holiday before the Christmas party, and I ended up just vibing on a giant candy can the whole time and then left at 4 a.m.

Sean, I am I totally understand. I get it. If one didn't know If you didn't know what consumption was, it's like a polite way to say they drank too much. Well, he fell to the consumption

because he'd be consumption whiskey. Because we were discussing too another polite term for it back in the day was he fell to the consumption because he'd be, you know, consumption whiskey. Because we were discussing, too, another polite term for it back in the day was he fell to drink. You know, it's like you're an alcoholic. That's just saying you got hammered all the time. Dropsy, another old disease, could have also been alcoholism, you know,

because he drank until he dropsyed. I don't enjoy that one. Is that diarrhea? No, that's how the first DJ died. He dropsyed too hard. I think the first DJ was DJ died. He dropsy'd too hard. I think the first DJ was dropsy. Be dropsy. I forget what dropsy is.

I think it's a lot of fainting disease. Yeah, we're getting into old diseases. Are you about to hold something up, Sean? I was going to show Arlo that I will, in fact, be getting bean boozled again. I'm going to do it every episode. Let's not delay it. It's a new tradition.

Yeah, don't play with my arm. I got a box of bean boozled right next to me. Some of them taste like puke. Some of them taste like birthday cake. A game I still don't understand is this one. It's this. It's make Sean eat the most terrible jelly beans. End of game.

Did I bully you into eating them last time? No, it's just me doing it. You know, of game. It's a moment. Oh, and Sean is making Sean do it. Did I bully you into eating them last time? No, it's just me. It's just me doing it. You know, something fun. A little something. It's very fun. Go ahead, Sean. To keep it fresh.

Let's do it. Crack it, slurp it, dump it. I grabbed this one. This is Sean with Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram, by the way, is holding up a, it looked like white and green specks. Yeah, it's going to be either spoiled milk or coconut.

Oh, this happened last time. No, it's dishwater or birthday cake were the two people I was hanging out last time. These are the two drug dealers I decide to call every Saturday when we record. I'm either going to call spoiled milk or coconut today. Wasn't one of them dog food? Yeah. It's coconut. It's coconut.

Yeah. If you like pina coladas. All right. Yeah, boy. Good Sunday. Do you like coconut? I mean, I know you like it better than spoiled milk, but I could see you not being a coconut guy also.

No, I love coconut. Do you like mounds or almond joy? We both have coconut. Yeah, but I mean, do you like it with almonds or not? Well, the question wasn't do I like almonds. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Yeah, Almond Joy's got nuts. I'd rather have a Mounds, honestly.

Mounds don't. Yeah? Yeah. You don't like that crunch? Oh, I gotta have the nuts in there. Yeah. I put, honestly, if they would let me, I'd put in two nuts. It's a strong trifecta, the three.

Yeah. Dark chocolate, a little coconut, a little almond. I'm just saying I like the Mounds more. It's a strong trifecta. The three. Yeah. Dark chocolate, little coconut, little almond. I'm just saying I like the mounds more. It's easy. I don't just eat it. I hate to get on a soapbox this early in the podcast. No, you don't. You don't hate it one bit. Do you hate it? Yeah, really.

I hate it. Where is my coconut candy confection option with a macadamia nut in it? Where is that? Okay. In Hawaii. Is that true? Because that's a real question. That's actually a good question.

Everything, like, yeah, like, it's the tourist shops and all, like, the airports and, like, the little, like, you know, bougie little, oh, we're here on holiday, especially on, like, Big Island. We're here on holiday? Yeah, I don't know. That's what British people do. Papa holiday, dude. Papa holiday goes there right after holiday dude i'm trying to

incorporate holiday now more i like it yeah it's the word of the day yeah yeah you traditionally get like a box of chocolate covered macadamia but then there's like varietals you know with the coconut in there i need that shredded coconut in there i got somebody brought chocolate covered cherries to my house not for me not for me either no thanks yeah i got them in the kitchen right now such a weird combination they feel so decadent chocolate covered cherries more than almost any other just because you bite them and then they're like oozing that cherry juice out of it and everything and you have to like take a break i don't like maraschino cherries. I like real cherry.

That's what I was going to say. If you could get a chocolate-covered cherry, and this sounds crazy, without the cherry, but the cherry juice and the bonbon sort of stuff they have in there, that would be my ideal. It's like a thick, congealed corn syrup. It's a lot.

It feels like something... We're drafting kings and queens today. It feels like something, we're drafting kings and queens today, it feels like something a king or queen would have died from. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like King Sean holed himself up in his palatial estate

and gorged himself to death on chocolate-covered cherries. Yeah. I sure did. I sure did. And consumption. I've been under that. You also had consumption.

It was cherry brandy. What you have been consuming, dude, it's fresh pow pow. You were snowboarding. It was crazy. I snowboarded and I could do it. I snowboarded. It's not like surfing where I couldn't do it. Yeah, you were good at it from what those videos showed.

Yeah, it looked like you were shredding, dude. That's exciting. From what two of my great friends told me that I was with, I was doing very well. But they were probably also being nice. Because of the consumption? Yeah, I think what we consumed after, trust me. It was nice. We all drank a little tuberculosis in the chalet.

Did you stay up on the mountain or did you come back that night? No, we just went up and really only went in to rent a snowboard and then to get some food afterwards other than that we were sitting on the outside being safe it was super nice though like bachelor where were you hood yeah i get why how people can turn into like that ski town person it was so fun like if you just went snowboarding all day and then you got done you're like like, I'm just going to have some beers and I live in government camp now, bro. That's just what I do.

That's what the town's called? Government camp. That's a terrible name. That's a terrible name for a town. But it's really fun to go sledding there. It's like some of the best TB toboggan that you can catch. To make up for it, David,

they got a town right next door called ZigZag. So, like... They're throwing curveballs at you. Okay, I like that't skateboard that much, but like ski bunny, you know what I mean? Yeah. Snow surfer.

I think Sean should have been the fifth lead in Out Cold is what I think. Yeah, absolutely. Also, I didn't know people didn't love that movie. I would, as a kid, I loved Out Cold.

It was on Comedy Central all the time. It was on every day. Yeah. I can't wait to see sean with the eventually when you start snowboarding so much that you have the goggle suntan line tan line oh yeah oh the wind burn bro yeah the wind burn get the wind burn and just constant red yeah yeah i mean i kind of already have a red face so like the gogs ain't gonna help too much i didn't wear them i'll tell you what happened though i caught my toe edge on one on one cruise down the mountain i caught my toe edge and i biffed

it i scorpioned and i hit my jaw right on the goodnight button but my mouth is pretty black i don't know what the fuck you're talking about i said that almost the exact sentence to krezak and he's like what yeah what do you say i don't know what toe edge is but i know what scorpion is and that's where scorpion's like where your ankles go around the back of your back you were listening let me let me try let me try you were listening to drake yeah that's right you were going down there you caught your toe edge listening to drake and then you busted some grapes i bought my melon on the good i bought my melon hit my chin on the good night button and then my eyes hurt for a couple hours yeah yeah they did does laura let

you do that with other people you didn't go did you did you black out or did you get or no or you just hit your job but it hurt i haven't hit my head for a minute and it i smacked it and it hurt and i and krizak came like peeling down and he's so he's so cool and nice he just sits down all calm next to me and he's like you okay yeah like i hit my head and he goes yeah i saw that looked like it hurt like it did and i go my jaw hurts and my eyes kind of hurt and he goes yeah man you sit as long as you have to we'll sit here it's just like that's so sweet that is sweet and we sat there for a few minutes and then that was fine i scorpioned on mount ashland now this would have been about 13 maybe more a full bar mitzvah ago and uh one it's like a jewish fortnight it's a bar and then you like slide

on your four i like slid on my forehead while like my feet were like sailing in the air and just like scrape the shit out of my forehead on this glacial snow dude that it's a it can be a bummer scorpion that seems like the worst way to have it happen yeah to catch sail like this would have been over by now the last time i went skiing and it will be the last time. That's the end. The career's over. You know what I mean?

I've hung up the rental skis, caught a little bit of speed going down like a little bit of a hill, very much a bunny level situation, but just sailed over the GD embankment. And managed to lose a ski halfway through. Lost both poles way up the hill. They went over the top.

Total yard sale. Starfished out. And the snow was so deep that I couldn't keep the other ski on, so I just in my stupid little rented boots had to trudge up. And the snow was like up to my waist.

And like children are passing me being like, you good? I'm like, not at all. Not even a little bit. Oh, that's always the worst. I don't know. Mommy, what are they doing? Take a ski and just like javelin it.

Yeah. I'm done here. I'm done. Little Lake Oswego children. I got back to the bottom. I didn't have. Skiing by you. I got to. Little Lake Oswego children. I got back to the bottom and I didn't have any of the shit that I went up with. You know what I mean? I was just like, I don't know.

You go get it. It's yours. I don't know. Came down broke. Spent it all on the mountain. You can pick it up in June, all right? Let's just charge me until June. It's up there.

You got my card. Just put a hold on it. You're just covered in snow. Everyone else has dope colors on and you're just snow head to toe. That was me. My butt was getting super wet because I'd beef it and snow would just go into my pants.

I'm like, well, my butt's just soaked right now. You got to get them overalls, baby. That's what them overalls are for. I heard. Wet butt is almost as bad as wet feet as far as when you're dealing with snow. Wet butt's tough. Wet butt sucks. Yeah. Because it doesn't ever go away.

You know what I mean? It's just like until you change those pants. And you know I'm getting sweaty, and then it's hot. Oh. I kind of like being sweaty in the snow, though. Like if it's snowing out, I like... You put out an album called Sweaty in the Snow, right? You and Tank.

Yeah, it was our duets album. K-Big's featuring Tank, Sweaty in the Snow. A lot of babies got made. They say it's the reason for the second baby boom. That's right, yeah. A whole history. Well, you released first baby boom before you were signed, so you had to release the second Baby Boom. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little mystery. Well, you released first Baby Boom before you were signed, so you had to release the second Baby Boom.

That was my underground. Shout out to... I don't know. I lost it. I lost it. Sometimes we lose it. That was the only time Lugs made suits. Yeah.

We were sponsored by Lugs. We were sponsored by Lugs and Sierra Mist. You just put on your Lugs and just keep pulling them up and it turns into a suit that you didn't even know was in the shoes. It envelops you. It's technology that hasn't been equaled before or since. And just to clarify, not a snowsuit, like a suit. It was double-breasted.

I know it. I heard this. I had a double-breasted lug suit. Only one in existence.breasted. Yeah. I know it. I heard this. I had a double-breasted lug suit. Only one in existence. Gold buttons. Yeah. I can see you in a double-breasted suit, David. Absolutely.

Oh, yeah. I had one when I was a little kid. I want to get into the suit game. I got to figure it out. Well, after this, it's the Roaring Twenties again, so we're going to have to get suits. Dude, I'm so worried everybody's going to be well, after this, it's the Roaring Twenties again, so we're going to have to get suits. Dude, I'm so worried, like, everybody's going to be doing it maybe too much. Oh, no, there's no such thing. We're going to go suit shopping as soon as we can.

I cannot wait. Oh, no, I meant doing it like having sex. Sex stuff, sure. Too much doing it. That's fine. We're going to be sweating in the snow. That's what's going to be happening. I'm going to be roaring.

That guy who's roaring, by the way, is David Borey. CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. The G is silent. It's his Twitter handle. How you doing, buddy? Oh, man, I'm hanging in there, you know. You know, just rocking and rolling. Doing that cabin life I saw.

Yeah, me and Zach were up in a cabin in Breckenridge. It was very nice. Oh, y'all went to Breck, huh? I'm surprised the cabin let Zach go. He's one with the mountain now. Yeah, he looks like it, dude. Did you leave him? No,

he came back, but he was loving it. Arlo, have you seen Zach lately? Mountain man. Well, okay. Yeah. Hair down to his nipples. I didn't realize that I had because I was like, who the hell is that? Anyway.

I was like, wait. I think I know that man. He looks like Kurt Russell on The Thing right now. Oh, don't tell him that. He's a big Kurt Russell guy, though. He is. He would lose it if you told him that. Zach has always felt about eight minutes from going feral to me. Like, just a fun walking the line and giving an opportunity.

He just tears off into the woods. I like that about him. Like that Kanye song, he's about five seconds from violent. Yeah. Or 30 seconds from Mars, too. He's bold. He's 30 seconds from Mars. Yeah. He's both of those things.

How was it? What did you guys do up there? Dude, we didn't do anything. It was awesome. We just enjoyed it. Yeah, it sounds awesome. Enjoyed the weather and the snow and smoke pot and talked. We tried to watch one movie, and then everybody fell asleep.

Oh, we tried to watch Seabiscuit, which I had not known. That sounds like a Zach movie. Did Zach pick that movie? and then everybody fell asleep. Oh, we tried to watch Seabiscuit, which I had not known. That sounds like a Zach movie. Did Zach pick that movie? I don't remember. Maybe. You got to watch something cozy. You got to watch something cozy if you're up there.

You know, that's what I think. I mean, mostly we were all just talking and napping and making food. It was really nice. It was really nice. It was awesome. Great. Then now I'm back down mainland uh you know doing good february's coming up black history month yeah yeah yeah nuggets still maybe not performing the way that i would like yokich though having a season of a lifetime which is

makes it even more brutal uh you know but whatever it's fine it's fine it's cool man and like we got sports that's like nice you know it's a hard time in the world it's nice to have basketball i'm i'm good guys i'm reading books i'm fine what are you reading right now it's called knock them stiff they just made a movie about it on netflix oh nice yeah it's like the movie's called like the devil all the time oh the devil all the time yeah yeah, it's like the movie's called, like, The Devil All the Time. Oh, The Devil All the Time. Yeah. Yeah, but it's based on that book Knock Em Stiff, which Sam Tallent got me for Christmas.

Aw, shout out to Sam Tallent. Buy his book. Yes, buy his book. Also, I'll buy the audio book. I'm on it. Also, I'm still reading a Fans Notes book, but I'm going slow with it because I just, I don't read a lot of books that I think are actually funny,

and I think this guy's like, you know when you read something or you see something funny and you're like that's not even at all what my humor is but i can just like see it and be like oh man this guy's so funny in a different way what is this book have you told us about this before it's called a fan's notes it's about this guy from upstate new york and i believe this 50s or the 60s he's just talking about his life but he's just really funny in the story he's like he's like a teacher who works at the shitty boarding school and he thinks he's better than everybody and the only pleasures in his life are like getting wasted on the weekends and watching the new york giants it's just like there's just like a lot of it's great it's great it. It's really funny. So he's got consumption.

He's got consumption. He's got consumption. I know exactly what it is. I don't even want to bring it up, but I know what that is. I don't want to... No, he's... Let's just say he fell to drink. He has dropsy. Arlo Weyerhaeuser is here.

Arlo, how the hell are you doing? Arlo, wait. Hold on. Let me get the handles. I can't believe I blew right past it. What is it on Twitter? Arlo CW, hold on. Let me get the handles. I can't believe I blew right past it. What is it on Twitter? Arlo CW. Hell yeah.

Is that because you love the CW network? You know it. Is that a sponsorship situation? Shut your mouth. I'm sorry. I don't want to mess your check up. I don't want to mess your check up. Tell him that more.

He needs to hear it. I did a little name swap since the last time that we hung out, and I demoted my first name to my second name, and then I took a different name and put that on. So that's been fun. Yeah, it's weird to change your name in a pandemic lockdown situation because I don't know if you know this. You don't meet people.

Yeah. How many new? You don't have like a lot. I've been going to kissing parties. I meet people all the time. Oh, yeah. I'm kissing parties. I haven't introduced myself to anyone in quite a while. And I moved in the pandemic. And what a nightmare.

But I've got neighbors now, like downstairs. And when the neighbor downstairs came up to introduce herself, I misnamed myself. I was like, Kate, oh no, ah! She was like... So she thinks I'm in witness protection. She has no idea. I've done so much weird stuff in front of this lady by accident.

Yeah, so that's been... Wait, what other weird stuff? Well, I thought it was my roommate at like the bottom of the stairs so I like like yelled down and was like hey baby and it was her and I was like god damn it oh boy did you attribute that to Arlo or Caitlin though cause that's how you get away with it

Caitlin is a dick kind of a dick I will say I woke up this morning in one of those like completely disoriented like oh oh, no, what's happened? I did a show yesterday and like immediately just laid down and went to sleep. I did 20 minutes on a corporate family friendly and like. How was that?

It was actually really fun. But I don't know. I was just like, I'm dead tired. So I went to sleep and then like popped up at seven this morning being like, who are you? Where are we? It's Frankie Muniz to you. Out of sorts. It's Frankie Muniz.

Exactly. I have no memory. We got Muniz. I just finished a couple minutes being like, nope, that was a dream. That's not real. Okay. That's okay. No, that's real.

I hate that wake up where you have to like, we're like, it happens to me more good than bad. I'll have a dream where something really exciting happened and then I'll wake up and have to be like, wait, no shit. Mine was just doing laundry without having to pay for it. I'm not going on tour with Keith Sweat. Mine was a little more reason. Yeah, you only got to open for Babyface. Cry me a river. I didn't get

to meet him, Sean. It's not like we're friends. It's a credit. You got to open for Babyface. When does it ever come up besides just now? I can't meet people and say, hi, my name's David. I opened for Babyface. You will be able to. Sean's out here saying his family has come to TV.

You can say whatever you want your next comedian all the men in his progeny have died from consumption Sean Jordan a lot of people have opened because of Babyface you're the only person in here who's opened for Babyface though

it is sexy man what do you have going on? Other than moving to new places, chilling, not meeting any new people, what's going on with you? I've got a thing coming out on Epix. Yay. And this week.

Well, whatever this is. This will be this week. This comes out this week. Sell it. Sell it. Sell sell it get those fajita sizzling come on unprotected sets we recorded in uh like july which was kind of wild after not doing stand-up for five months and then being like now go half hour hit it yeah so little rusty um cold i don't know. Outside venue. Totally COVID safe.

Everyone was tested. You know what I mean? Like, there was no, like, funny business at all. Well, there was a lot of funny business, but it was all up on stand-up comedy. But my episode is with Leonard Oates, which is fun. We got to do, like, there's, like, an interview segment and stand-up, and they kind of, like, intersperse. So watch that on epics.

It's unexpected sets. Go ahead, Dave. Sorry. I was just gonna say, is it weird that that's how I want to watch all my standup? Even now, the older I get,

even like when I watch a special, unless it's like a rocking special, I just want to see half of it and half interview. Yeah. I think it's great. It's a fun way to see funny people. And like you said said unless somebody's just got that like fucking like dialed in hour which is so rare yeah yeah that seems like how

did you get ready for it arlo what we were like what was the process you were like uh zoom mostly yeah and just doing it with like comedian friends. So like all the mics are on. So you can kind of like try to pace your timing because you get used to the zoom delivery where you're just like kind of rifle through it. And if they're laughing, that's great. You just kind of go to the next one. But we did like one backyard at Amy's house. And that was it like for live.

Wow. And then like the audience is far away and like outside it was kind of a challenge uh that stresses me out just hearing you say it so much like i've never done a tv set without like you know it's for like three months you're like hammering it grind it so like just like oh yeah i just did it like twice. And then I did it on TV. Like, it makes my stomach hurt. Yeah, it was like three weeks of notice. And so we just started. Three weeks. That's almost better.

I mean, like, right? You don't have time to worry or anything. Oh, I made the time. Oh boy. Oh boy. Did I have a couple weeping to my manager? And I cry easy. It's nothing new.

Everyone knows this. But just, I don't think I can. No, I don't want to. Can I do it from home? Like, I don't. It was a little stressful, but it ended up being really fun. So that was great. I bet it snapped right back into place once you got out there.

Absolutely. It took, I don't want to lie to your face. It took, it was about the last bit and I was like, okay, here we go. I haven't done standup since February and I'm legit. I think like when standup starts to come back, I think I'm going to go to Portland for a week. Yeah. Dude, try to do like three sets a night. i've been thinking that you got to get your weight up somewhere like it's like yeah we'll be seeing you in portland yeah it feels like you got to just

go and like you got like the old days where it was like i'm doing five sets every night fuck you that's all i do you know you have to it's not gonna happen in la you know like no not the good feelings yeah i imagine going up in the before times seattle and portland and do a week there but like i don't know i'm kind of at peace like if stand-up doesn't come back like all right next thing i don't know i'm a little nihilistic about it. Oh, yeah. Well, it sucks because it's not going to come back in a good way. When it first comes back, right? Because it's around now and it's like when you – every audience – most of the audiences that –

I've done a few outdoor shows and shit like that and it's like the tickets are so expensive that that's not necessarily my people coming. You know what I mean? Right. My people aren't paying 50 bucks a head to come you know what i mean see me do 10 minutes there's also for a lot of people it's still here there's a lot of people touring and shit still that's so wild also there's like price gouging

going on and it's like disgusting show business's wild. Yeah, you would figure out a way to make it too expensive. The $140 per car and bullshit like that. Yeah, whatever you're paying. Like, oh, jeez. Holy. Anyway. Ugh. Anyway.

Anything else you want to hip the people to, Arlo? What else is going on? That's, brother, that's it. Laser focus, brother. Friend, that's it. It was nothing I bought a violin I don't know how to play it

oh why not that a little are you like teaching yourself violin why didn't you open with that what

open and close wow I got I was practicing pretty regularly for a while then I broke a string and then I moved in here

and I was like you know what people do not enjoy in a roommate oh that's a good call at a real beginner level it is it's not a pretty beginner level fiddling dude that's my album can you get one of those isn't there like a muffler isn't there something you plug in and it doesn't it's a string instrument it doesn't it kind of just does one thing. You should just go to the park, man.

And then be like that guy. I saw a guy, I used to see a guy in my park in Valley Village. My man was on there, in there with the saxophone on the ring. It was very nice. I got a roof you can come fiddle on, you just want to know. He's also got

the dance ready for it. I'll just be idled idling around my backyard he was gonna be doing that anyway yeah you're already out there juggling grapefruits idled idling so fiddler would just be great i would i have a grapefruit tree that it's like it's been stormy weather down here in la and my group the grapefruits on it are gross that's the problem they're like way too bitter. No, they're not rotten. They're fresh, but they are inedible. And the juice is too bitter and sour.

There's some sort of varietal of grapefruit that's not what's up. So you can't even use it to make drinks or anything? It might be the soil, friend. It might be the soil. You should start pooping on it. Yeah. Have you tried pooping? You poop in your front yard all the time. You have two bathrooms. I do poop, but I poop on the saloon. You should start pooping on it. Have you tried pooping? You poop in your front yard all the time. You have two bathrooms.

I do poop, but I poop on the other side. Maybe I'll start burying salmon under this. Out of your penis? Out of my... Sorry. Poop out of the front. Sorry. You came dangerously close to a spit take right there.

I love it. I'm in front loaded. He came dangerously close to a spit take right there. I'm in front loaded. I'm like a Porsche. The engine's in the front. No, wait, no. That's like most cars. Never mind. The engine's in the back.

Sorry. Yeah, I'm confused. I'm like a Porsche. The trunk's in the front. There we go. There we go. There we go. The person whose trunk is in the front. There we go. There we go. There we go. The person whose trunk is in the front is Ian Carmel, by the way.

Ian Carmel on Twitter. Ian Carmel on Instagram. Ian Carmel on Jewish. That one app where you look at the sky and it tells you what constellations are there. Starmapper. Stargazer. Starmapper. Jewish Starmapper where it's the only one where you can see the Jewish space laser,

which we all found out about this week. Sorry about that. I didn't find out about it. Somebody told it to me. Did she really say that? Yeah. Yeah, she said that the wildfires, I think, or something, were caught by a Jewish space laser. Who is she? She's in Congress.

Senator of Georgia or something. She's not a senator, but she's a senator of Georgia. Two Democrats. Warnock and the other guy. She's from Georgia, though. Reverend Dr. Senator Raphael Warnock, dude. Which sounds like a supervillain name. I'm glad he's on our side because that sounds like a bad guy name.

That sounds like the highest ranking in the crypts that anyone's ever got. Warnock. It sounds like a Warcraft orc, like a heroic Warcraft orc. Yeah. For the Horde. Marjorie Taylor Greene. Marjorie Taylor Greene. She's bonkers.

She thinks that you guys got a laser? A space laser. And that you're using it to start wildfires yeah we would just i don't we would use it for fun stuff i feel like i don't know i'm sorry i i haven't been on twitter lately so i feel like i haven't engaged in this discourse and now it's old for everybody but that is the most ding-dongy thing i've and we're the ones with the space laser? Like, honestly...

There's no racial unity like that for anyone. No. For anyone. There's not like a Chinese scuba diving fucking bullet. I don't know what the words I'm saying are, but you know what I'm saying? There is a Chinese scuba diving bullet. There is a Chinese scuba diving bullet.

That's the one thing that there is. But... That's fair. But there is no Jewish space laser. I don't know. I do love the idea that we have it, though. By the way, if we're the only ones with it, get your shit together, Marjorie Taylor Greene. How come you don't have a fucking, I don't know, Protestant space laser or whatever you are?

Yeah. Get one of those, and then they can fight. That'd be fun. Why does she think they're causing wildfires in California, she says? She's QAnon. It's one of those and then they can fight. That'd be fun. Why does she think they're causing wildfires in California, she says? She's QAnon. It's one of many. But the Jews love California. Bat shit.

I see them there all the time. Conspiracies. Where there's a bunch of us up here. There's a bunch of us. Swimming around, doing their thing, diddled idled idled in the backyard. Idled idled. Wait, you say us. Are you Jewish? 100% bar mitzvdle to idling. Wait, you say us. Are you Jewish?

100%. Bar Mitzvahed and everything. Oh, David's Jewish. I didn't know that. What if I wait until just now to drop it? Right. I thought David was consumption. It just chilled.

It was a big win. It was a big signing for us. It was a big signing. A 21 twist. We had a huge off season this year. That was the crazy thing. I was going to go to the Niners, and I was like, no, I'll just go play baseball. So the Jews scooped me up.

Yep, yep, yep. You got to at least drop the offer. You got to at least drop the offer because you never know. 100%. Tell them what you want. You got to tell people how to treat you. You know what I mean? That's right.

Yeah. I got nothing going on. Watch the late show with James Corden where I will be back eventually. I'll be back on the desk eventually once it feels safe in California to go to the studio again, which it does not yet. What are we, one in three?

Let's have the whole family say everything. Say what, Arlo? We're one in three? California is? People in LA County? Oh yeah, I was reading that. One in three is what they say, which I have a bone to pick.

That means we all know at least 300 people who have had it who have not said shit. That's my theory about Los Angeles. I think people are getting it and not saying that they're getting it. For sure, right? I would tell you all if I had it. Yeah, I would tell you guys if I had it too, but like... I'm a giant baby.

I think people are just not saying... Because it's one in three means it would, even if, even if our friends are being ultra safe and maybe it bumps to one in six in our friends. Yeah. Right. We would still know a ton of people. In our community, even if it's one in 10, that's the weird thing about LA is it is so

there are like different parts of it. There's like vastly different communities in LA and some of them are just like fucking parts of it. There's like vastly different communities in LA and some of them are just like fucking devastated by it. And then it feels weird because you're like, well, I don't know any like comedians who've gotten it. You know what I mean? And it's like, but you do. I know you do.

You know what I, we are so irresponsible. Like it's like, oh, this group of people who gets too wasted all the time and can't seem to get jobs at work before 9 a.m we none of us got none of us got it that's like this is the dirtiest people i know that's why it. Took it to Denver. Handing it out here. Trying to get those numbers up. That would be the funniest way.

Yeah, that's why I got it. So what? So what? I haven't been hanging out with anyone because I got it. That's why I haven't been hanging out with anybody. I've been living downstairs and Laura lives upstairs because I got it. It that's like why i haven't been like hanging out with anybody i've been living downstairs and laura lives upstairs because you know i got it so yeah it's out here i've been

washing clothes every night and wearing the same clothes the next day because i got it you know yeah i am fully agoraphobic now like that's that's settled in that's really taking hold yeah wait so you you have alcoholism is that what that means? Yes. They're afraid of wool. They're afraid of wool. Angora. They're afraid of wool. Oh, yeah. I am angoraphobic. Angoraphobic is what it is.

Angoraphobic. I'm agoraphobic, dude. I don't like high tea. Yeah. You don't like high tea. No, I'm agoraphobic. Unless it's British high tea. I mean, that's charming for everyone involved.

I like British high tea because that has hibiscus mushrooms in it. How come everybody's calling it tea all of a sudden? Testosterone? Yeah. I used to do it a bit back in the day, and I thought I made it up. I don't think I did, but I thought it was funny to call it low tea. I just never heard it before, and now people are calling it tea for sure. Like all the time.

Far from the trans community, friends. Really? Is that where they started doing it? I don't know if it started, but that's common nomenclature. It's also kind of a way of coding when you're in maybe mixed company. Instead of saying testosterone, you know what I mean? You're just like T. Like it's a little, we have a little sneaky way.

But I don't think it's like. But if you are going to say testosterone, that's the way to say it. Sneaky T. Testosterone. Say it like an Ibiza DJ. Testosterone. Testosterone. That's your rapper drop, Sean.

Fuck. No, my rapper drop is still and will forever be Jason Derulo. Way before Jason Derulo made it, or I knew who it was, it was my rapper drop is still and will forever be Jason Derulo. Way before Jason Derulo made it, or I knew who it was. That's true. It was my rapper drop. No, I knew Sean back then. He had it first. Jason Derulo.

He had it first. My buddy, he made one mixtape, and it was really terrible, but his drop was, I grow my own coke. And I always thought that was pretty good. What? You heard it. Unhinged. that was pretty funny. What? You heard it. Unhinged. That's pretty dope.

That's a good one. Yeah, you gotta process that. It's a lot. It's fun as hell. You know what that guy sounds like? That guy sounds like a king, which is fitting, because today we are drafting kings and queens on all fantasy everything. Now, the way we determine the order of that draft

is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Arlo wins! Arlo wins. Arlo wins on just one game of it. Only took one game. Arlo as the

victor in Rock, Paper, Scissors, it is coming upon you to determine the order of today's draft, but before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question. That's a great question from both of you. Yesterday, I had to go into

our crawl space because we have rats. How is this going to explain what the draft is? Let's see. I had to go into our crawl space because we have rats. How is this going to explain what the draft is? Let's see. I had to go into our crawl space because we have rats. When you're trying to get rid of rats, the first thing you have to do is clean up all the poop. So I had to put on a jumpsuit

and I crawled in the crawl space and when you clean the poop, what you're instructed to do, and this is no joke, you're instructed to go in sort of a snake-like pattern from front to back. So I crawled all the way in, I sprayed bleach from left to right, cleaned up all the poop, and then I sprayed it down like a foot. I backed up everything, my long flashlight, my paper towels, my plastic target bag, and my body. Backed those up, and then I bleached from right to left,

and then I cleaned up all the rat poop from right to left, and then I went back about a foot, and I cleaned up all the rat poop from left to right again, and I did that probably 12 times until I got out of the crawl space, plugged up the hole where they're getting into the house, assumed the rats were gone, and then we heard a rat in our bedroom last night. And we're trying to avoid murdering the rat but we're gonna i don't want

to do it but we're gonna have to set some of those you're gonna have to murk that rat yeah dude get those nunchucks going yeah you're gonna have to body that dude man i'm gonna have to wait for it naked and fight it greco-roman rat fighting in our crawl space it's fair that way if you're both neither of you have weapons it's fine it's, yeah. You can fight any animal as long as you're nude. Just as easily, you might die, you know? Yeah, you don't know. I mean, I've been training for quite some time. All right.

You don't know what the rat's been up to. That's true. He could be a hopkido. He's been shitting in the crawl space with the rat's been up to. I'll tell you that. I cleaned it all up, and it was intense. He's been shitting in the crawl space. It's a nightmare.

That's my album, dude. shitting in the crawl space. Nightmare. That's my album, dude. Shitting in the crawl space. I was going to say, man, I hate a crawl space. I really do. Oh, yeah. That's not for us. No, man. I cannot stand it in there.

No. Also, attics, unfinished attics where it's just the crawl space. Like, just the, because there's under crawl space, house, nightmare, upper. Also, just like insulation. where it's just the crawl space. There's under crawl space, house, nightmare, upper, also just insulation. I don't know if you've ever crawled through that and then had a million. Love the itchy.

I want to bring my computer over there. I'll send you everyone a photo. Please don't. Of your shit infested crawl face? Not now, dude. You eat dinner in there now, boy. I'll tell you what. You do eat dinner in there when you're bad.

Gave it the old Irish 9 to 5. You know what I'm talking about? Unemployed? What are you talking about? I don't know. Ate dinner down there. Lied about having a job and ate dinner in the crawl space. That's the Irish 9 to 5.

Where you been all day? Tough day at the office, but I was really in the crawl space. That's the Irish 9 to 5. Where you been all day? Tough day at the office, but I was really in the... Thank God we got an iPad because I'm in the crawl space all day watching Mad Men on the iPad. In that crawl space.

Basically, basically what that means if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now, Arlo, with that in mind, what will the order of today's all-fantasy draft be?

It will be me first, me first, and the Gimme Gimmes, and then Bori, and then SJ, and then Koms on that hot corner. Hot corner? Look at that. We went and saw me first in the Gimme Gimmes a couple years ago. Yes, we did. It was dank.

It was awesome. Sick. We got recognized there. That's a fun concert to get recognized at. Where was the show? It was in LA, no less. Not even a fun concert to get recognized at. Where was the show? It was in LA, no less. Not even a Portland one. It was Buck. That's elite. It was a Me First and the Gimme Gimme's Christmas show

and we got hammered and moshed. One of those clubs on Wilshire or something, one of those venues that's West LA where you're like, this is the entourage LA, that LA. Was it? I thought it was downtown, that one. He doesn't know where things are. I think it was West.

Maybe it was downtown. I mean, who knows? He's all stoned on rat poop. He doesn't know. I had tuberculosis pretty heavy that night. West was the Starfucker show. Oh, the one that they stonewalled you on and I almost started crying. That's right.

They wouldn't let me go to the Starfucker show because I had a backpack with my laptop in it, and they wouldn't let me bring it in, even though we were going to go backstage to hang out with Starfucker. I was so mad about it. Yo, America hates a man in a backpack. They hate it. America hates a man in a backpack. A grown man in a backpack? People don't like it. Based on patterns, I get it.

Yeah. I just... People, like, as a man with a backpack, I'm just saying. Like, you know, because I move backpacked out here. Look through it. Go through it. I had just come from work, and I had my laptop, and I couldn't just leave it in my car.

That was the only thing. Because I had the Emmy ingredients in there, you know? Just the Emmy. Yeah, that Emmy stew. All the ingredients for the Emmy ingredients in there, you know? Just the Emmy. Yeah, that Emmy stew. All the ingredients for the Emmy were in that computer, and I just had to mix them together, so I couldn't give them to some jamunk. What?

Did they let you in? No, I had to leave. I went home. Yeah. Oh, ain't that about a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. I pitched my best version of a fit

and still couldn't get it done. Well, Arlo, we will get to your first pick. We're about to get to your first pick. But first, we have to take a very short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing. Just go to a brand new country.

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form of entertainment that exists other than, of course, unprotected sets where you can see Arlo Weyerhaeuser with Leonard Woods doing stand-up comedy. Funny business on stage. No funny business off stage. Make sure you check that out on Epix and also listen to everything that we've ever done on the All Fantasy Everything podcast. Now, with that out of the way, Arlo, we are drafting kings and queens. What will be your first pick, the first pick of the draft? This is, I think this is going to be a real steal, a thief's game. I think so.

I think you're right. That's croquet. Maybe. I don't know if I have any. Yeah, well, we'll see. I might get. It's crocket. It's crocket.

I think you guys think my list is, mine is trash. Also, just to clarify, and I know you did, but like all fictional. Everything. Make them ups. Everything's on board. If you want to invent a king or queen and then you just describe them to me, that's on the board. Oh, yeah. There's one I'm going to have to explain.

All right. King Idle Idle in the first. I got to do it. Idle Idle Idle. It's the one and only his highness mlk jr baby yes get the fuck out of here that was my one cool one that was my one cool one on my list thieves game baby it's a thieves game damn it i got nothing now you had nothing get him it has to be it's the most high

highness there's the best man has ever existed it's MLK Jr. and I'm gonna take this entire game the day before fucking black history month you pull this shit Arlo if I may respond to David for you you never had your pick

it was mine to begin with if I may respond to David for you, you never had your pick. It was mine to begin with. Oh, fuck. Yeah, of course. Had to drop the meeting. I knew it was going to happen. The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Absolutely. I don't play nice.

Yeah, let's do this. Yeah, and that's simply, it has to be. And this is how I'm going to, like I said, I'm going to take the game. I'm so happy to be competitive right now there's no one to fight with so i'm really channeling a lot of energy into this today maybe this is my jewish my jewish space brain here but do you think anybody called him do you think anybody ever called him marty yeah i i think they tried it.

Marty King. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There had to be something his friends and lovers called him, right? Yeah, I would hope so. Of which he had many of both. Like, they didn't call him Dr. King. No. Right?

Maybe some of the lovers. Maybe some of the lovers. I think that my favorite mlk quote is like try jesus and not me oh yeah wasn't that that was a breakup text he said slightly problematic a breakup text try jesus don't try me don't try me Dr. Martin King Jr. man I mean the other thing I don't have a lot to contribute to this conversation

that hasn't already been said better by much smarter people than me but another thing I really like you know that carving of him the Dr. Martin Luther King statue that I think is it in DC or is it Atlanta what's the one you know the his arm the Luther King statue that I think, is it in D.C. or is it Atlanta? What's the one? You know, the his arm, his

arms are crossed in it and just, it looks like a real uncomfortable arm cross. Oh, where's he wearing that suit? The one where he's wearing the suit? He's in the suit, yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. Because he's just fighting for silver ice. It's not a comfy life, you know what I mean? He's flexed up. It's at D.C., it's in the National Mall, it looks like. Yeah, yeah. It's not a comfy life. You know what I mean? He's flexed up.

It's at DC. It's in the National Mall, it looks like. Yeah, yeah. It's a high and an uncomfortable looking cross to me. And I feel like he deserves better for eternity. Yeah. Yeah, he does. It looks stern and sort of like, we just take the picture already kind of thing.

I mean, he did have shit to do. He did have shit to do, actually. He have shit to do he did have shit to do actually was this for a fucking statue 50 years from now i got shit to do they got room on the other side of that statue give us a casual give us like a fun one too you know give us the other side of dr king just like him in shorts yeah yeah yeah. Let's do a fun one. Let's get both sides of the man's personality. You know what I mean? Let's get the other side of it where it's him having a lemonade in a lawn chair.

Is that disrespectful? All right, now act like you ordered a steak and someone brought you Jell-O. I don't think so. I want this for all statues, by the way. If we're tearing down statues, let's put some new ones up where we get some actual heroic people just in a comfortable moment. Right. Thinking, man, I want to see a blinking man.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, or whatever. Other statues, obviously. Halfway through a blink. How come Abraham Lincoln gets to sit down? You know, and Martin Luther King has to stand up as a statue for all of eternity? Well, he was so tall his bones didn't work good. That's true. you know the picture you take when you go on splash

mountain that'd be fun statue like a great statue with your friends yeah then one was just going like yeah yeah yeah too cool yeah like god i hated that people on roller coasters who'd be sitting there flipping it off for like 10 seconds just waiting for the flash and you're like, hey. I have never screamed harder or been more scared than Splash Mountain got me, got me. Really?

And the picture is wonderful and there was a small child behind me and he roasted me for the entire time. We got, you know, a good splash and I was like,

my underwear are wet, my socks are wet and he was like, it's not that big of a deal and I was like, okay underwear are wet, my socks are wet. And he was like, it's not that big of a deal. And I was like, okay, I'll throw you off this ride. I will throw you in this tiny river. You think that I can't fight a child because I was afraid of a roller coaster? You're mistaken.

I also ruined the ride for him because I'm enormous in front of him, and he's peering out from the side. He looks like he was just running, just hanging out at a camp in Phoenix, just dry. Exactly. I took all of it for both of us and he was like, pipe down. I was like, I'll kill you. You should have started like splashing water at him. Some of that like, the water that's

on the ride that you know, like you can get tuberculosis from, consumption if you will. Yeah, you can't drink that shit. Diphtheria's in that water. Oh, diphtheria. Good pull. Dr. Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. David Borey, time for your first pick.

Well, as I previously said, I'm fucked because that was like my one good interesting pick. Yeah, man. What are the rest of them? I don't know about kings and queens i didn't know that when this came up and then because like i gotta think outside the box bro i'm gonna punch you in the face are you kidding me i live outside of the box i live outside of the bun you picked a ball pit when we drafted food one time fucking hey man i like i just

fucking i just i spaced i don't i have no space in my head for kings and queens i guess i don't know my first one i just am picking the best stereotypical king i can pick i'm picking aragorn son of arathorn from the lord of the rings trilogy he does all the cool shit you want a king to do yeah he was fucking out in the wilderness for a while it's just like what when his name was strider and he was like bounty hunting or whatever the fuck he was gonna do he the wilderness for a while it's just like when his name was Strider and he was like bounty hunting or whatever the fuck he was gonna do he's super loyal

they got rid of that real quick calling him Strider like they ditched that like what half hour in or something it's dumb I almost changed my name to Strider come on I'm kidding I didn't absolutely not it's a cool name and everybody likes it. Okay, I'm back to its dump. Absolutely not.

It's cool to have. I love the story of like a king laying low, you know, where he's like, oh, you think I'm this badass, but actually I'm also a king. Yeah. And then like, I loved it when him and Legolas and Gimli were like, nah, this shit ain't over. We're just going to go get the boys. And then they just like killed a bunch of orcs to get the homies back. He didn't take the ring,

which I thought was nice on him. He's just like a pretty good stereotypical kid. When he pulls in that Uruk-hai or whatever the big orcs are, the big scary ones, when he stabs it, and then the Uruk-hai pulls him in and you see his eyes get all big,

and then he just whips his sword out and chops old boy's head off. At the end of the first one, he's like, this guy's got it. I might have to watch. You just ruined Dana's weekend. I might have to watch Lord of the Rings now. Dude, Lord of the Rings, they go, man. And I do like you watch the director's cuts. They're like four hours each.

They're great. Yeah. And that's not even my shit. And I fuck with it. With Lopez and Heather and Heather's brother. They're like four hours each. They're great. Yeah. And that's not even my shit. And I fuck with it. Like Lopez and Heather and Heather's brother. And we, we watched all three of the director's cuts at Bridgeport village in one day.

It's like a big thing. They have like 80 bucks a ticket. It was sick. I would love, I love doing that shit. How did you consume food? What was the consumption? You just eat hot dogs and popcorn.

Yeah. Well, we had a lunch break for in between or dinner break. So you just got like movie food for the first for lunch. And then from like five, well, we had a lunch break for, or a dinner break. So you just got like movie food for the first, for lunch. And then from like five to six, you had a dinner break. And then the king returned from six to 10. I gotta do shit like that at my house. Cause I know I can't promise that I'm not gonna fall asleep.

Yeah. No, but that's the fun of it. We can do a marathon like that. Like it's a little cozy, like it's a little stony bal baloney and then you're like eventually you're awake for the battles and then you can kind of you know gotta be something you've seen so like you can talk through it you can eat meals through it whatever it's like you know and just have like star wars is another good one just have it on all day you're like that this is fine yeah i remember i saw lord of the rings in theaters and uh i was standing in line and there was this nerd in front of me who was like at six time watching it.

And he was just like, he was like, I liked it, but I really wish that they included Tom Bombadil. And I was like, I'm going to smack the shit out of you. I'm so mad. And I know who Tom Bombadil is. I've read those books, but I was still like fucking nerd. This is how me and Borey met. Yeah. You got in a fist fight outside of a Lord of the Rings screening.

Exactly. Tom Bombadil. Aragorn. Hold my jujubes. Was Aragorn the one? That was Viggo, right? Yeah, Viggo Mortensen. The biggest Eastern promise of them all.

That guy always brings it, man. Oh, yeah. That is the definition of a lantern job, Viggo Mortensen. Yeah, man. That guy's got the shit. Viggo G.I. Jane. That's just what I was going to say. He was the fucking bad guy in G.I. Jane.

He was complicated. He was bad. He came around. He was complicated. He was complicated. He's the one that... No good guys on both sides. He wore some high shorts in that movie.

High shorts. And then fucking Demi Moore, she hit him with the SMD. Remember that? Yeah, that was awesome. Hit him with the SMD. Ring the bell. Suck my dick.

Oh, she said that to him? I get it. Hell yeah. It's a good movie, G.I. Jane. It's a great movie. That movie rules. Gotta watch that again. Buff more. Sean Jordan. Time for your first pick, you old scoundrel. My first pick,

I'm going to the realm of music. I'm picking Queen the Band. Fuck! Fuck you. I really thought I could picking Queen, the band. Fuck! I really thought I could sneak away with that one. God damn it. Yeah, obviously. They're fantastic. Didn't even come up because I'm a fucking idiot. Fucking idiot!

Didn't even think about that. I like that band. That was the first thing I thought of. Honestly, I only took it because Ian is right after me. I had a feeling he has two picks after this. I had a strong feeling it would have gone. It would have gone?

You felt right. Yeah. 100% it would have gone. Absolutely. Thieves game here. Thieves game. Yeah, that was right at the top of my list. Yeah.

I mean, I was one of the people that loved Bohemian Rhapsody. I thought it was great. I thought it was a really good movie. Did you not like Bohemian Rhapsody? I it was great i thought it was a really good movie i did not yeah it was didn't get shit on saying rami malik didn't quite do it i didn't even hate him movie yeah i thought you guys were saying the song no the movie i liked i didn't even i liked him as uh freddie mercury it was like the like simpering saccharine sweet story that was like biopic, like all nice and like, ooh, a little bisexual on the side.

Like, I don't know. It was too Disney-fied. I got annoyed with it. And also been just like a lifelong Queen fan. I'm obsessed with Queen. Pioneers of the rock opera. Who even, what? Well, it was nice getting some like intel on that too like you you know just

seeing it movie form is fun at the fight they had to put up to get that song made yeah and also bohemian rhapsody i understand it that being hard like if you told me what that song was i'd be like that's stupid it's like eight minutes and you listen to it and you're like no no neva not this is what you want to do because you just gave me Fat Bottom Girls. Yeah. And this is what you come with me. Hot on the tail. Yeah.

This is what you come to me with next. What am I supposed to do with this shit? I went back and rewatched their Live Aid performance, which is like considered by a lot of people to be like the best live performance ever. Was their performance at Live Aid where Freddie Mercurydie mercury just annihilated it yeah man like watching it most important live performances in the world it's historically oh yeah i'm serious i'm getting goosebumps now thinking about him he just ah like such a force like big yeah like not in the sense of gaining weight just like colossal you just make interesting shapes on stage while he's saying too.

I love that. Yeah. He just makes. The half mic stand. Tell me. You know how many times I've been sick about, about dragging around that bottom of that mic. Never thought to do that.

Never thought to do that. Cause that shit does suck. You could have been strutting around with it. Like it's a riding crop, man. It would have been awesome. Yeah, man. Queen the band. They rip. I remember I got the greatest hits, I forget, early on.

It was the Burgundy album with the gold crown on it. Yeah, there's two volumes. Two volumes, yeah. Seven Seas of Rye, I remember just fucking loving that song with that piano at the beginning of it. They should have known something like Bo Rap was coming. I call Bo Rap for short because I'm a busy man.

Yeah, you do. I'm a busy man. They should have known that was coming. Seven Seas of Rye is like a weird song. You know, like all their songs are weird. Like it was always building towards that. They're like sci-fi. There's a song about going to space time travel and it's like exactly the same

premise as gravity where like time goes differently when you're in space so they come back and it's been like 200 years and everyone they know is dead yeah and it's like a folk i mean that they're like really in-depth sci-fi because jaws was never his scene and he don't like Star Wars. He doesn't like all sci-fi. You are a head. I love it. Queen, dude. Queen. That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit. Jaws was never my scene

and I don't like Star Wars. Queen is like some of the best music to play. You know how some music you kind of have to bump? You could listen to it low low in the headphones I guess But that's some shit you want to hear like In a room loud you know I remember one of the most bittersweet Moments of my

Illustrious football career Was when we won the championship Wait you won the championship? I was on the team that won the championship I didn't have a thing to do with on the team that won the championship. I didn't have a thing to do with it. That was one of the times where the coach like really had to go through it because they had to put you in for a quarter

in city football. You had to play a quarter. You had to. One whole quarter? One whole quarter. So he I could see him being like when are we going to put Sean in because we could win if it weren't for like five or six kids. And he put me in the whole third quarter and I didn't do a thing I don't even think I touched anyone they were just like back down what position were you I was defensive end and left tackle so I touched

people that's so annoying if you didn't do anything yeah that's like oh god that's so it was a good game we won and then we are the we were in the Dakota Dome in Vermillion where we went to college we were in a college football stadium. And we are the champions came on. Everyone's freaking out. And I was just sitting there like, I didn't help. I'm not the champion. Not even a little bit.

I was so amped. You still played? Not even a little bit? Just me too a little. Not really because I didn't do any of that. You played a whole quarter. You sealed the end? Yeah, man.

And you didn't screw anything up? No. You know, maybe I didn't screw anything up. I i i you know maybe i didn't screw i mean did you plug up the line did you hold the line of scrimmage if there was ever a run where that running back couldn't hit the b gap and he had to bounce out that's you baby yeah nobody wants to hit the crying kid on the corner who's like my fingers bleeding that's that's not true i that's the only kid i wanted to hit outside of quarterback left tackle and defensive end are maybe two of the most important positions on the field. Like two of the highest paid, too.

I've said that for years. Holding the line. You're like Julius Peppers out there. Yeah, Julius Peppers, dude. All right. Willie Rove. Now I feel better about our victory. I love it.

There we go. Good. You were a champion. You drafted queen. You are a champion. Yeah, my friend. Oh. Oh, bro.

Time for my first two picks, as it is a serpentine draft. And with my first pick, I'm going to take well-tried territory on this podcast, but it's got to go in the first round. I'm taking the Lion King. Say his name. Say it loud. Say it proud. I told Marissa before anybody got on, I thought that Sean was going to take it.

I thought so, too. If Ian wasn't right behind me, I would have, had Ian gone already, I would have picked it. Because Queen would have been off the board. I'm taking the Lion King. I'm taking the whole thing. I'm not just taking Mufasa. I get Mufasa, too. Power move. The Kitten Kaboom.

You're taking Scar. You're taking Zazu. Zazu's in there. Or as I like to call him, John Oliver. Nala, the Queen, who would have been Queen. The whole franchise. You're taking Whoopi Goldberg. Queen Sarabi.

Cheech Marin. Elton John in this, too. So I get the king and the sir. Whoa. You do. Wow. I get Pomone and Toomba, dude, which is kind of what I call them to mix it up. It's a fun little curveball throw in there.

They hate it. Pomone and Toomba. They hate it, but they're little. What are they going to do? They hate it. Yeah. Puma wants to run up and start. What are they going to do? They hate it. Yeah. Puma wants to run up and start some show.

I'll kick him. He's a football shape. The musical, the second film, the whole franchise, you're taking it all? I get the whole, I get the Julie Taymor

Broadway musical, the remake. You're taking the Donald Glover reboot? Overly serious Beyonce in it, but just because of Billy Eichner. Everybody

but everyone kind of took it a little too serious. Billy Eichner was funny in the movie. I tried to watch it on a plane and I didn't like it. That's how you know it's bad. Well, John Oliver, it's weird. It's like it was somehow based on a character that

he hadn't become yet. Like he's based on Zazu. When you found out it was somehow based on a character that he hadn't become yet like he's when you found out who's playing zazu you just looked at me and you were like john oliver is zazu he is not like they're doing anything different so yeah his show of is if zazu was reacting to american news like no thank you no thank you mr No, thank you, Mr. Trump. No, thank you, Mr. Trump. Seriously, it's so dope. Can you tweet him that? Can you tell him? Call him real quick.

As a member of a technically a rival, although we're not in the same swimming pool, late night show, this is as public as I can make those comments. Is this some gang shit? It's some gang shit. He wins every Emmy. They make 20 shows a year.

They're only on once a week. We do four shows a week. Why are we in the same category? David. It's fair. Why? I know. Listen, I set it up the ladder. I set it up the ladder.

Don't worry. Listen, I'm your guy. I'm on your team on this. The guys upstairs, I don't know, but I'm with you. I'm also, I'm leaving. I'm moving companies next week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that how it always goes?

Yeah. No, you're just gonna, I read it. I love it. Oh, no, I actually work for Viacom now. But we're moving. I'm moving. Actually, I'm getting into a different game. I'm doing a scripted at Bob Marley's new company.

Or once I had, I am leaving the business. They just got out of the business? Yeah. Quit on head. Where did that happen? But yeah, The Lion King. We've talked about it a lot on this podcast. Great fucking franchise. My first pick.

My second pick. Sean to have his earbuds in for this. Sorry, I had to pee. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Everybody poops. Some out the front. my second pick Sean to have his earbuds in for this sorry I had to pee sorry sorry sorry it happens man everybody poops I'm out the front I'm not married yet I don't poop

Lion King was my first pick with my second pick I also should say John Oliver they do an amazing show I'm fake I'm not really mad about it their show is

fantastic it's so good I watch it every week. They're doing brilliant stuff. But I am. The beef is on. David is mad. He's already tweeting about it. I opened it up a couple times and he's one of the hardest working comedians I've ever seen. He's one of those

comics who would get off stage and start writing. You know, one of those dudes. Like an Ali Wong. I do miss that. Brilliant. Writing? Yeah. That's the one part I don't miss. Green Room after a set being like, oh, hammered

out a little bit. I miss that feeling when you start unlocking it. You ever have a joke that's bad at first but you're like, they're not laughing but this is really good and then you start turning the corner. Yeah. My next pick I'm going to take but you're like, they're not laughing, but this is really good. And then you start to turn the corner. Yeah.

My next pick I'm going to take, Queen Latifah. I knew it. I fucking knew it. I thought I was going to get her a little bit later. I fucking knew it. I fucking knew it. U-N-I-T-Y, that's a unity. What am I doing? I'm not a bitch.

You ain't a bitch, you're a hoe. Queen Latifah is like- We are living Sorry No please How are you living? In a 90s kind of world I'm glad I got

My girls keep your head up What? Keep your head up That's right Whenever this life gets up You gotta fight My homegirls standing to my left And my right

True blue We tie light glue Amazing Just I really thought i was gonna get that and i'm good good fucking pick dana dana that's a real queen latifah and juice forget about it it's terrifying everything queen everything just a powerful fucking artist cross across disciplines like yeah yeah and important across disciplines like and important across disciplines too like

she was in Chicago she was in Chicago and then she was in Taxi with Jimmy Fallon she could do anything what was it bringing down the house with Steve Martin oh yeah oh yeah multiple episodes of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

playing different characters. I feel like she was probably a guidance counselor in something that we haven't seen. Oh, yeah. She was dating Common in that one movie. She's amazing in Girls Trip. Shout out to Girls Trip. Girls Trip is hilarious. I have her name tattooed on my heart.

I mean, there's no... Are you serious? Big credits. Big credits. She's dope. I mean, there's no big credits. She's dope. Because I was going to be like twins. Her name is Gnarlie. Her and Jada Pinkett and who else? Her name is Cleopatra Smith in that movie. I think.

And she goes out like a rider in the end of that movie. When they got her and she's like, nah, fuck that. And she just like hits the switches on her car and the cops shoot her car up and you're like hold court holding court in the streets right there yeah yeah man what a good pick queen latifah that's a great yeah queen law all day man queen she's just fucking awesome there's something about her energy dude that just like me it's like a it's like a huge big energy that fills up a room but it's a positive one it makes me she i have nothing she's like a huge, big energy that fills up a room, but it's a positive one.

It makes me, I have nothing, she's like a, but possibly, is Queen Latifah queer? Has that become like a queer black woman, but it somehow makes me want to be a better version of myself, a straight white man. You know what I mean? Like it's that kind of- That's why she's got the title.

You know what I mean? I falter to think of anyone who has like cultivated a title for themselves that's better fitting than it's like you are. This is royalty. Dressed fucking awesome. You know how like you meet somebody who can be mean to you

when they first meet you and you're like okay with it? Yeah. Oh, my type? Yeah. Oh, you must be my type are you a little bit mean marry me get over here but she'd be like nice shirt but then she'd like also be like thank you for coming to donate for children with muscular dystrophy

yeah she would see that something was she just met you and then later on that day she could notice something's wrong with you and talked it out with you after being mean to you earlier man yeah so check out queen latifah in the equalizer on cbs i swear this isn't uh she's got a new show coming out she's got a new show coming up but yeah queen latifah is my second pick fucking shout out to queen latifah just amazing just an amazing human who like singular too there's nobody really like that. Sean, time for your second pick.

I'm going to go over to King's on this one, and I'm going to pick The King of the Hill. King of the Hill TV show. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're going to look me in the face when you fuck me? I can pick this one just fine. I'm looking right at your face where it is on my screen. I'm mad at myself for blowing it.

Yeah. You know, I almost didn't pick this because I'm not mad at you I'm mad at myself for blowing it Yeah you know I almost didn't pick this because I knew that you would want it so bad but I also love this show I watched two episodes this morning Which episodes? It's like the only show

for me that I can just throw on and no matter where no matter what in the show anywhere and i'm just like it's such an amazing show there's no boring parts it's all funny the perfect amount of serious hank is like such a good dude but also so such a dimwit with certain things he's a good guy and he has no reason to he's the product of child abuse he had a really hard life that's such a piece he could be and his mom's like real checked out because his dad was so bad he could be like the biggest piece of shit like man he's a saint it's just people trying their hardest dude like hank is trying his hardest peggy's trying

her hardest like peggy's doing the most peggy does too much in my opinion but she's still like trying her best you know what i mean yeah she gets petty and she kind of gets destructive. But that's just who she is. I watched the episode where Peggy meets drag queens. And they do the clothing swap. And then the snake in the toilet from the snake's name, I think, is like Jeff. Man. The best ongoing jokes out of almost any show I can think of. Like her big feet and Hank's narrow urethra

every time they get joseph's not his son yeah it's so obvious that she's having an affair with john redcourt he always leaves with like foreigner blazing they just got done boning and then dale comes home like how was the massage honey it's always everybody knows everybody knows except for joseph and dale that john redcourt and Nancy are boning. It's, yeah, that show, a fantastic, King of Kings. I love that show. It's amazing. It's so good. David, time for your second pick. David's out of sorts, right?

This list fucking sucks. I picked a bunch of real kings and queens. I like that about you. I got some, too. Can I pick Mansa Musa second? Yes, I think so. King of the Mali Empire. People say he might have been the richest person ever.

I like that, yeah. When he went on his pilgrimage to Mecca, he gave so much money to Egypt, he drove down the price of gold for 10 years. Yep, fucked up the economy. That is some baller. He was amazing. Huge patron of the arts and literature. Yeah.

They had a giant closet. They had, I think, for a second, the biggest library in the Western world. He's just huge. He's amazing. He's amazing. 14th century ruler from Mali, Mansa Musa. Great name, too. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. From Mali? Where? Well, it's like the Mali Empire. So it's like a bunch of West Africa, like the Horn of Africa. It was like a bunch of that area. Word.

But yeah, he went to Mecca and was just like, it was like, he was rolling with like 100 camels with 100, just like he had most of the gold in the Western world. Like it was in the Mali Empire. So they say he might be the richest person ever. That's ever existed of all time even with yeah he held many titles amir of melee lord of the minds of wangara

and conqueror of ganata yep wow yep aka aka another one yeah he's just a pretty major king i don't know i got nothing else for it yeah they were yeah they're the empire god it was gigantic yeah no he's really interesting he also only got like so i think the story is like he was bloodline to be king, but his older brother got obsessed with the Atlantic Ocean and took like a huge expedition out into the Atlantic and never came back. And that's how he got. That's why you like him because you're obsessed with the Atlantic. Power or something like that. No, his brother did that.

His brother did that. And then his brother never returned. Some people think they went to South America, though. But that's like here or there. Whoa. Do you think while he was like waiting for his brother to come back monsa musa was just like damn guess that's why they call a window pane i gotta go they had a bunch of really really nice rugs too and he walked up to someone he goes where

you getting them colors are you dying them and it was that's the other it's the other one i hate david has two two favorite rap lyrics and we try to cheekily work them into no i worked uh but yeah mensa musa if you want if you want a good anything to read about him is like really interesting and just like they have tried to convert his wealth to like regular times and they're like it's not we can't even have we they can't even tell how wealthy you look like he was like it was a it was a muslim empire too he built a ton of mosques and madrasas. Yeah. Fun fact, a ton of people who came to Sierra Leone came escaping that empire for religious freedom.

Oh, interesting. But then ultimately, it's an Islamic country now. But anyways, the point is, Mansa Musa was great. He's a real king. He's the second on a list of people that I'm not sure about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've heard of Timbuktu? Timbuktu was part of his empire. He did that. Yeah.

He conquered 24 cities while he was while he was a leader. That's amazing. Monsa Musa. Arlo, time for your second and third picks. I've been stolen from and and now I just, I'm coming to you with two more that I feel like are going to be a little angry. First of all, RuPaul, the queen of drag.

RuPaul, the queen of drag. They cannot have a list of kings and queens without RuPaul, the queen of drag. Absolutely. We all know how rupaul has touched our lives uh has impacted us i tell you i saw rupaul on the street i've said it so many times on this podcast never mind not to me well we've never talked about king of the hill before what are you doing go for it i never told you that i don't think so i'm like hyperion or something i saw rupaul on the street i was fucking in a uber and i just looked over and like he's wearing like this beautiful beige suit yeah

with like a white undershirt and then like a sky blue ascot oh and it was like it was like when you when you like even if you had no idea who rupa was, you would see him and be like, that's somebody. Yeah. Off duty RuPaul is just as fucking like. Yeah. It's just standing at a stoplight, just like waiting to cross the street. But it was like, yeah, it was amazing. It was amazing.

Yeah, really. I can't believe I didn't tell you. I came home and I was like, Solomon, Solomon, Solomon. That's incredible. Solomon, get out here. There's no part of my life that's not a little bit improved by both Queen Latifah's shout out, but also RuPaul, Queen of Drag. RuPaul Charles. Amazing whole life story.

Came up in that cool New Yorkork time where new york was like in the ballroom scene yeah cutthroat and violent as fuck and like it's also hard to pick for me like royalty that's like i kind of was trying to tend towards like less problematic like kings and queens and like yeah rupaul is kind of into fracking. That is problematic. But on the list of things, still RuPaul. The kings and queens have been into. Yeah. Fracking is, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty good.

Kings and queens get into some wild shit. Yeah, I don't want to burn through choices, but I don't think anybody picked Vlad the Impaler. I'll probably be doing David a favor. All right, now we're just going to go all my picks. I'm so sorry. I'll probably be doing David a favor. What if I took Sean's worst pick and made it my next pick?

I hope you do. And then Sean's going to pick Tiffany next, queen of pop and R&B. For the second one? RuPaul, just real quick. RuPaul has been with his partner since 1994. See? How about that? Happy marriage. Made it through know the fame you know people

are throwing it that way like that's oh yeah that's a decision charisma uniqueness nerve and talent there's nothing that's not great oh and multi out multiple albums produces so much music is an absolute behemoth like There's nothing. Movies, TV, just another slash. What are they called? Just multidisciplinary triple threat. Triple's probably limiting it. I love the word

multidisciplinary. Cover girl! Word! Yeah, there's too much. I'm overwhelmed. I had to take a second just to i understand i worship at the altar rupaul uh yeah strong pick yeah welcome me next pick next pick is zeus king of gods i didn't even think of zeus also maybe the most popular Rottweiler name

of all time if it's a girl it's Stella if it's a boy it's Zeus I've known like seven scary dogs named Zeus excuse me sir where are all the drugs I want to buy from you they're right behind Zeus over there go get them or Strider

nope it's not as good riding for Strider I love it it's not as good. Riding for Strider. I love it. It's not as good. Zeus also Samuel L. Jackson's character in Die Hard 3, I think. I'm taking that one too. That's part of the Zeus. All Zeus's. All Zeus's.

Every cocaine dog. Every little boy at your elementary school who threw too many rocks. Yeah. Because his dad's not coming back. He left him with the name Zeus and nothing else. And they called him Thor. Boy named Zeus.

Yeah, Zeus, king of gods. Once you find out, you think you have an idea of like all the shit that Zeus got up to. But like,

I've been on this weird mythology kick recently and like. I understand that. It is. There's so, he ate one of his wives. What because it was prophesied that her son might be more powerful so he ate he consumed from consumption consume them i mean but that's that is truly the only way to defeat someone

yeah to eat him from that's how you die uh fucked with humans so much just a hilarious amount literally and figuratively right like when he comes fucked constantly turned into a he turned into a swan to fuck somebody once yeah later oh and then harold would like punish them and like do you know how many people got turned into like trees and shit because she was like yeah that's where we got perseus right he was zeus's kid from a from a human woman all of them in some way related back to zeus because he fucks my man fucks lightning dicks part of being a king he's in charge of weather i don't know he's in charge of a lot of shit he's definitely problematic but like

my next pick sorry it'll be great believe me it's not gonna be good you guys are gonna be all pissed Zeus rules what a king fun to learn about you can pick up a chapter at any point it just keeps adding

to the story he was like the father of Hercules too, right? Hercules, yep. Had a fucking winged friend, the Pegasus horse, just hanging out with him, gave him to Herc, like just kind of good time. Everything, kind of the center of all of the mythology.

Is it Mount Olympus? That's where the gods lived? Absolutely. His domain. To a mansion, yeah. That's where the gods lived? Absolutely. His domain. It's going to be the king. Yeah. Yeah. The Olympic Mountains. Yeah, the Olympics out there. Great pick. Yeah, Zeus is a great pick. Bori, time for your third pick.

I love this shit. He's so... Queen Be's. Yeah, what are you talking about? That was on my list. A queen bee? Like an actual one? Yeah, like a queen bee. Like the queen of the quality.

It's really interesting. I was reading on the Wikipedia about it earlier. They're like preordained, right? And then they're born and they get this shit called... I think it's called like king jelly or some shit. Royal jelly. Royal jelly! And it's like only secreted from the heads

of the young ones. That is some queen shit! I only drink, it's like only eating babies. You know what I mean? It's opulence. It's opulence as hell. Going around online, this dude had a queen bee in his fist, and he was walking, like, taking it from A to B, and the whole hive was on his arm because they just can't leave.

Yeah, they were just like, as long as we're by the queen, we're all right. Just don't take her away. And then, you know. I didn't know that that was the story behind that video. Yeah, you just watch the video, and you're like, damn, that's cool. I was like, this guy's cool as hell i had no idea what how he had done that fuck somebody up with like the weirdest punch that's ever been landed the b arm dude imagine getting punched with an handful of bees what happens if he killed it would it like i don't know queen bee it's it's neat it's it's neat

the side gets agitated without a queen that's great do you know that uh you can listen to hear if a queen is present in a hive because they buzz more harmoniously yes i did see that there's a there's a noise for a name for that so piping they call it piping and then they get kind of like out it also also sometimes sometimes when they're virgin, so before they're sexually mature, sometimes the bees can't tell the difference between the queens and non. And they'll go around and kill the other virgin queen bees so they're the only one.

Really? Also, sometimes a swarm will happen. And they'll go with the swarm to be a queen of another thing. It's just really interesting. It's a cool natural queen. Yeah, bees are fascinating. Yeah, they got a really interesting sense of community. I like a nature queen.

That's a good pick. Yeah. Thanks, guys. You don't have to say that just because I'm your friend. Dude, it was definitely on my list. I for sure would have picked the queen of a hive. Great, Sean. Shout out to David.

Oh, yeah. Queen bees, yeah. Absolutely, yeah. Like, with them, you can, you know, if you do hold one in your hand, you can point at one of your enemies and say, bees, and then send it at them. I was waiting for it. It was coming.

It was coming. Hitting it. Sean, time for your third pick. Dairy Queen. Oh! That's my only other good one! I thought I could get it last! Fuck! I didn't even... And I got that from a risk...

God damn it! This is a bad day! Damn, Dairy Queen is good, dude. This is going to be a really fun day. Hot eats and cool treats. I got them both. Yeah, they got them both. Very few places have both. I love that.

You said it like that was the conversation I would have. Just that conversation like, hey, can I? Dairy Queen has hot eats and cool treats. And you're like a stranger on the bus. And you just look up like, yeah, they got them both. And then right back to what you're doing. Grillers and thrillers. Thrill and grill, baby. Talk to the hot eats

too. A lot of people don't give it credit. Do people sleep on the hot eats? The burgers are good. I fuck with them. The chicken tenders. They're chicken tenders with gravy. Forget about it. And Texas toast.

Yes, Arlo. Yes. My little town in high school, that was the only fast food that we had, except for the subway inside of a gas station that I worked at. But Dairy Queen was the only thing that we had. And so that was like our, dude, we ate every fucking day at Dairy Queen. Some of those, like a small town small town dairy queen they're usually better too yeah there's some at the fucking coast that are just like yeah absolutely dairy queens at the

they have like sliding glass doors you know like this was a house 10 years ago yeah yeah yeah what is that like i feel like i don't know i feel like you got i feel like all the best dairy queens are rural like i don't think you've got career managers. You know what I mean? That they're like, yeah, this is exactly what I want to be doing. I hold it down over here. This is a perfect job. I was a dilly barman as a youth growing up.

I forgot about the dilly bar. Dipped in chocolate. I love the dilly bar. A butterscotch dilly bar or a cherry dilly bar. That was my go-to. That's actually what they used to call the Irish back in the day. Butterscotch dilly bar or a cherry Dilly bar. That was my go-to. That's actually what they used to call the Irish back in the day. Butterscotch Dilly bar.

Need not apply. Yeah, when they first got off the boat. No butterscotch Dilly bars, please. Save both of us the time and go ahead and use the side door. Tell me a truck stop that you're not more stoked about than when you're like, they got a fucking me a truck stop that you're not more stoked about

than when you're like, they got a fucking Dairy Queen. When you're on the road, and you're fucking driving a million hours, you're like, oh, Dairy Queen time. A blizzard is the best treat for, after we went snowboarding, we stopped and got blizzards, because it's like, I earned a blizzard.

That's what I'm gonna get. I'm gonna get a blizzard. Shout out to the Dairy Queen across from Franklin High School in Portland. That was the one I used to go to in Portland. Shout out to that one. Shout out Chill and Grill. Chill and Grill. Dairy Queen.

What is everybody's go-to order now? Oh, for food or for hot eats or cool treats? A meal. A whole meal. A whole meal? Butterfinger Blizzard for me. Oh, man. Don't they have the new blizzards with the shit in the core, though?

They probably do. You know what I'm talking about? The new blizzards? Yeah, they do. They do some wild stuff. Yeah. Yeah, I think they're just called core blizzards or some shit. Where they put fudge, they'll drill it into the middle.

Yeah, they frack it. They frack in the fudge. They frack it. That's exactly what they do. That's the kind of RuPaul's heavily invested. You can't say fudge fracking. You can't say fudge fracking. It feels very sinister.

I've been known to get a strawberry cheese quake blizzard and some fries because I love their fries. They're off the chain. Their fries are fire too. Yeah, they're big thick ones. A good vehicle for all the sauce, which is really all a fry is for me. You made me make a fucking E-40 noise when you said that, dude. That's how good that sounds. It's also been about a month since I've had a cheat day.

So, coming up. I'll go there and get the strawberry cheesecake blizzard. Peanut, but barfay? Peanut buster barfay. Peanut buster barfay. Peanut buster barfay. Classic for a reason. It's so fucking good.

I like the strawberry bar strawberry parfait with the strawberry syrup on top with real strawberries i'm into that they'll all get you there chicky fingers things can't go wrong there's nothing not good there damn time for my uh third and fourth picks here we go with my third pick i'm going to take uh the second matzo mousse was the first actual royalty i guess zeus too but i'm going to take if I'm going to take a king, I want to take a fucking king. You know what I mean? I want to take somebody problematic as all hell,

absolutely like the typified wealth inequality. If anyone ever did, no, David, he's going to stay on the board. I'm leaving the island of England. I'm going across the channel,. I'm going across the channel and I'm going to take the Sun King himself, Louis XIV. Okay. Now, what did Louis XIV do? How do I

know Louis XIV? Louis XIV was, when you picture a king, he had so many wigs. He was crazy. He had long, many wigs. He was crazy. He like had long curly black hair, wore insanely opulent outfits

and he was the person who turned Versailles which used to be a quaint little hunting lodge that the royal family would like go hang out at and hunt from 14 miles outside of Paris to the Versailles we know today the Versailles that eventually led to the French Revolution.

And like Marie Antoinette saying, let them eat cake, everybody losing their heads, the end of the French monarchy. But for like a few glorious, for a very small amount of people, terrible for a huge amount of people, years, it was opulence defined. It was like the palace to end all palaces. Fucking Versailles. Is he the man in the iron mask person?

Is that Louis XIV? I don't know. I don't know. He also invented French kissing. He did. He invented French kissing. He did. So that's big, too.

And the French handjob as well. You mean anal. Anal. Yeah, that's right. You politely ask for the French handjob as well. Oh, you mean anal. Anal. Yeah, yeah, that's right. You politely ask for a French handjob and sometimes you get it. Politely. Oh, no. We said that that was French blowjob is anal.

Oh, French blowjob. That's right. That's my bad. That's my bad. He was a patron of the arts as they all were. He considered himself a direct messenger of God. Direct. They all kind of did, but he was even more serious about it. Underline direct.

Direct. A direct line to God. That's such a funny thing to just think that you are. You're as easy as this. Louis XIV and Tiger Woods' dad. Those were the two. like the Tudor whatever age era

that still were like God's talking to me through I think that historians pronounce it the farter age I did it yeah I did it and you said it was a bad day I fucking did it

of the farter era after this is over i'm just gonna throw my headphones on and take a shower off nope put a different pair on yeah do mr mr rogers this is gonna crank up some fucking queen i I'm not okay. Broke David on this podcast. It happens every few months. All right, friend. It happens. I'm sorry. It does happen every few months.

No, it's just good. He had the belief that any disobedience to his edicts was sinful, and he adopted the sun as his emblem since France revolved around him as the planets revolved around the sun. That is. Wow. There's a level of arrogance that people can get to where it's just

it's just like it's like great. It's not good but it's like the level of that like damn, that's what you think. You admire it. He married his first cousin. Who didn't back then? Crazy. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, I mean, he was alive. What do you do, you know? Yeah. King Louis XIV. The definition of opulent problematic royalty. Just amazing. The fucking Sun King. And staying somewhat problematic, I'm going to

take the King of Rock. I'm taking the King Elvis Presley. Oh, God fucking i didn't even think racist yeah yeah known racist let's put that aside for a moment i don't know they called him they called him the king they called i don't i wouldn't say he was the actual king of didn't he invent that sandwich that had like butter, jelly, and bacon in it? Yes. Yes, he did. It was like French bread, heavily buttered, and then with peanut butter, jelly, and bacon. I think they invented that here.

Bananas. I think they invented that firm here. It was in Denver. It was at a Denver airport that he would fly to Denver to go get. That's nuts. He just has, as problematic as he was, very few people have ever been more famous than Elvis Presley. Yeah. And he had some fucking bangers.

He did have some fucking bangers. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Suspicious minds. Can't help falling in love. Blue Christmas, if it's the season. Yeah. I mean, burning love.

Hound dog. Just in the ghetto. I always forget that he's saying that can't help falling in love that's wild also just was like what i didn't even know that was an elvis i i feel like i grew up hearing like the ub40 version or something i thought yeah i thought which also i didn't know weren't black when i was a kid i thought that was a black people song i mean they probably wrote it just the same as he wrote it the same amount i don't think either of them wrote it uh but yeah plus like was in movie

like nobody did being famous i it's probably if i would have gotten famous at that age exact same thing would have happened to me i would have ended up dying on my toilet on pills in in my 50s or like i would have got obsessed with karate at the end obsessed with karate went to had a meeting with nixon to talk about the like drugs and karate on drugs yeah he was on drugs and met with nixon to be like these drugs are a problem like he he made him an honorary atf member or dea member or something like that yeah he had he had a cadillac covered in like fish scales or something like that so the paint would hit it a certain way that's really cool though. I drive a Chevrolet movie theater. That's what I'm saying. It's amazing.

He had a Graceland. How come people don't have stuff like Graceland anymore? Yeah, like a kingdom basically. That's a kingdom. Tiny kingdom. Just like a very interesting person. He was never not

interesting. Absolutely. And he was fucking hot, dude. For all the appropriation he did and straight up stealing of music, it wasn't not with style. It was with style. He did it with style. There were a lot of other people stealing shit then,

and he stole it with more swinging hips than anyone else. Elvis Presley's my fourth pick. Sean? I'm going to go King James. LeBaron. Oh, LeBron James! What is happening to me? Oh, man.

Get your head in the game, kid. Do you want to take it from the top? No, it's over. This is done. This is done for me. Randomly the other day. He's such a good person. He's done so much. He is done for me. Randomly the other day. He's such a good person. He's amazing. He's done so much. He gives so much back.

And the other day, I caught myself watching him interacting with fans during the games and stuff. And all the shoes he gives out. Some dude hit a half-court shot at a Cavs game and LeBron came and tackled him. He's like who we thought Michael Jordan was. Yes, that's what yeah that's what everybody told us michael jordan was like and then you find out you're like oh le baron is good he seems impossible he seems impossible for someone to be put like also he's a genius he's a he's a genius he's like the smartest player in basketball memory andographic memory. And the most physically gifted. He's like

he played basketball weird. Listen, I get it. What I weigh right now What I weigh right now. So he's 6'8", right? But what I weigh right now, he plays I'm at like 270 right now. That's what he plays at

but jumps so high that his head is over the rim. There's rumors that he's been over that before. He's been over it. It shouldn't exist. People say he's been three hundo playing basketball. He could probably run a six-minute mile if he has to. I mean, it's astonishing.

He can also recall every play. You've seen that when he does that where they're like, oh, LeBron, this was similar to this play five years ago. And he's like no actually he's like Channing Frye was on the Channing Frye

was on the arc on the left and like Matthew Della Vadova was cutting inside he remembers he's a genius insane

and you throw him in train wreck he's not a bad actor I'm throwing it I'm saying it right out there I like it I want him in some more vehicles

he's psychic he can levitate he's slain a dragon. He kind of can. I know. He's been famous since he was like 15. No scandals. Yeah.

Family man. No scandals. Which is like superhuman. Not even like little shit. Unproblematic kink. Somebody posted a picture of him in high school, and they were like, he was holding a PS2, and they were like, LeBon's been on the radar since

ps2 that's the playstation 2 that's amazing that's weird yeah yeah isn't that weird he's been we're the same age and like it's crazy that two people of that echelon were born in the same year you know what i mean and the space-time continuum didn't crack open or anything. A combination of physical gift and mental gift. Swirled up like a blizzard of Dairy Queen, man. Both of us. Tipped him over. He can't fall out. King Jim.

I call him at our dinner parties. He's a Laker and I don't hate him. That's how amazing he is. Damn. Great pick. Great pick. David, time for your fourth pick. Great pick. David, time for your fourth pick.

I thought we were past that. I thought that was the last. It's never past. Leave that in 2020. Leave that. We're past certain things. We're not past your Oligarch. This is a weird one that I've been... I don't even know if I want to... How many more picks do I have?

Two more. Picking Regina King. Yeah, sure. Yeah, great. I like seeing you melt down as much as the next person. She just directed that movie. I really liked it. She's been in everything.

Just like a workhorse. Great actress. Turns out, great director. Very funny. What did she direct out, great director. Very funny. What did she direct? She directed A Night in Miami, that movie on Amazon about Ali and Dr. King and Sam Cooke hanging out. Should watch it. I loved it.

She's just, I'm always happy to see her. She's been like, she's in Boys in the Hood. You know what I mean? She's been in every. She's in Pride. She's in Higher Learning. But also like Jerry Maguire and how Stella got her groove back. Yeah, I have her filmography up here.

Suck it. Hell yeah. There's so much. There's something to be said for somebody who can do everything in their field. She's got an Oscar. She's got a Golden Globe. She's got four fucking Emmysys she's amazing she's great she's great and you guys should watch that movie it's really good never seen anybody i'm gonna

never seen anybody show malcolm x in that light in a movie before oh yeah it's really interesting it's really interesting of the two movies that were like adapted from plays this year i went with ma rainey's black bottom which it was and I haven't seen One Night in Miami yet. Not great. Really? In my opinion. I bet it was an amazing play, because it's August Wilson.

I bet it was fucking an awesome play. Somebody told me the exact same thing about it. I was just talking to somebody recently where they were like, yeah, you could tell it was a really good play, but the thing isn't that great. It just wasn't. They didn't do enough to make it into a movie from a play.

And it's a bummer because it's Chadwick Boseman's last movie. But what are you going to do? Well, you know, One Night in Miami is great. Regina King. That's a great pick. Fantastic. You guys don't have to placate me. You don't have to do that to me. No, there really is. It's a really great pick. Fantastic. You guys don't have to placate me. You don't have to do that to me.

No, there really is. For some reason, Regina King is like, people don't fuck, even though she's won an Oscar and four acting primetime Emmys and someone who has those shouldn't be considered underrated, I still kind of think she's underrated. I think so for sure. I don't think she's seen as like elite like other people are. I don't think so.

And she's able to go like between high culture and low culture, like what's considered low culture, low brow, stuff like so easy. I mean, she was in The Watchmen and she was in like fucking, you know. If Beale Street Could Talk. If Beale Street Could Talk. But then she was in fucking she she was in like poetic justice you know what i mean and like jerry mcguire that's right she was in chicago that's right yeah i it makes me so sad that poetic poetic justice is not a good movie

is as bad as it is boy and i ride for movies yeah Yeah. It is not good. I want it to be good. I try to convince myself again and I'm like, no, you were probably wrong, David. This movie has all the parts. Unfortunately, it gets worse every time. It's bad. It sucks. I like it because when I was a kid, I was like, Tupac and Q-Tip are in this. It has to be good.

It has to be. Janet Jackson, it has to be good. It has to be. Janet Jackson, it has to be good. It ain't good. It was too. It's too on the nose. Everything about it is too much on the nose. Her name is Justice and she does poetry? Then call it something different.

Then call it something different. It is insane. When you say that it's got all the parts, it does, but in the wrong way. You should have known as soon as the name. As soon when you say that it's got all the parts it does but like in the wrong way you should have known as soon as the name as soon as you started watching it and her name was justice and she did poetry i should have turned that shit off i should have been like no goofy goofy shit that's some nickelodeon disney stuff that's like not even that's like a table that's like a child how old were you when you wrote that book about politics, Ian?

I bet you could have written poetic justice, same vein, same time. 100%. All you have to do is know what those two words mean, and you could have written that fucking movie. Anyways. Oh, that's funny. Anyways, Regina King. Regina King.

Arlo, time for your fourth and then your final picks as it is a serpentine draft. And we will make it a lightning round for the fifth round. I'm so glad. Except for David, who will have to pontificate. No, I'm not explaining shit. I got to do King of Pop. Which one?

It's got to be MJ. It's got to be Michael Jackson. You talking about Bruno Mars? Yep. It's gotta be Michael Jackson. He's been mentioned. I've waffled on some problematic stuff.

Is he? I pancaked on it. There's no there has been no greater there has been no greater period end of sentence there has been no greater.

It was like him and Coca-Cola as far as like words that everybody knew. Right. That's true. It's insane that one person did all that. Worldwide. That's wild. Yeah. Worldwide recognition. Greatest ever. Greatest there ever was.

Did some stuff happen? It's almost... Yeah. Another one of those guys like Michael Jordan style where i don't think we really knew him quincy jones described him as mackie valiant yeah yeah like michael that was why his business he's like a pretty ruthless business like that guy was like a lot oh the the beatles master story is crazy yeah where you're just like oh this guy was like a like but i mean also you don't get to that level without being a shark, right? I'm going to change my shit up because I want to be described as Machiavellian before.

You don't want that. I don't know. Why not? Just become an Italian prince. That's a nicer way to do it. Yeah. That's a better way. Yeah.

I've been described as Snack-A-Vellion. We're all like, you know, whole bag of pistachios and nobody even knows it. Thank you for that. I appreciate it. Oh, man. Oh, you and Carmel? Yeah, you know, he's a good hang, but mind your peas and queues.

He will commandeer your snacks as he is a snack-a-vellion gentleman. Yes, I will. You only thought that was you a plum, my friend. That's your snack? I'm on a different snack wave now, dude, on this diet. I got to eat fucking not like, well, very traditional snacks. I've been doing it too.

Strawberries and grapes have been my snacks. I love a plum. I don't eat plums, no. Really? Dude, when you get one right, when you get a plum right, like when it's right there, it's just sweet in that texture. texture you gotta eat it like an apple you just eat it like you hold an apple you just eat a plum like that you don't know how to eat it

you mind the pit nope are you really asking this question right now have you ever had a plum is that why you don't like them how do you consumption one do you not like them because you've never had one I didn't say I didn't like them did I did you ask how to eat it? Well, yeah.

I don't think I'm versed in plums. Yeah. Just you take it, you bite about it. Yeah. Well, I am comfortable with my friends. I love it. But you mind the pit, Sean. It's a stone fruit.

I got to mind it. Yeah, you can't just be popping it like it's a fucking grape. Or a cherry, right? You got to be mindful. You do eat it. Yeah. Have you had a pickled plum, a Japanese treat? That's a trip.

I don't like pickled most. Most things I don't like pickled. I had a dry one. I haven't had that. They're spicy. They're exciting. It's a little nibble. I've already decided.

What is today? The last day of January? I'm calling it right now. I'm having a stone fruit summer. Nice. He's calling it a shot. I like that. For how weird your poops are going to be, I'm excited for you. They're calling it right now. I'm having a stone fruit summer. He's calling it a shot. I like that. For how weird your poops are going to be. I'm excited for you. It's going to be weird.

It's going to be a weird poop summer. It's going to be a stone fruit summer. Wait, before we get begged into the lightning round, I just want to say some really weird thing that I learned about Elvis. Do you want to know? Oh, no. Part of how he died was because it was found out that he had a digestive disease, syndrome, disorder.

And he had something like five days or weeks worth of pooey backlogged when he took his famous last pooey. The one that did him. Was his last one all five days worth it didn't come out it was inside of him and they said it was this is i don't know i've been on a weird part of reddit did somebody have to squeeze it out he was no i mean once you're gone baby you probably just leave that in there or maybe for no i think you i thought you evacuate your bowels when you maybe you gotta like toothpaste before you before you go hit the gasket. Don't put me in the ground full of shit, please.

Oh, burn me up full of pooey. I don't, no. But it was so bad that that was contributed to, like, oh, it may have worsened his heart condition and, like, strokes and stuff because it was so much, like, straining and strenuous stuff. And it was, like, clay-like how compact it was. Also didn't help because of his little pill habit and you know like paint killer stuff really oh paint killer yeah really clean your

shit out right no they do the opposite they keep you they keep you all in there speaking of stone fruit he had some stone fruit he had a third testicle is gi just a weird thing i learned about elvis um back to michael jackson uh what a day let's get back on it never had a weird poop in his life um not a lot of people know that uh i don't know yeah i don't know if he ate food i never seen him yeah i don't he just pills and air michael Michael Jackson is like the ultimate, like he proves that the answer to can you separate the art from the artist? The only answer is, well, it depends. Yeah. And he's usually the only one where I'm like, yeah.

I can't, but I still see great, I don't know. I know, but you like, if like. Being great at art is so different than being a great person and it's not really even fair to judge that like it's not the same thing that's perfectly succinct like like what he's doing it's like completely different i don't think i could ever listen to like a cosby album again or watch a special but like were you watching the cosby albums before though just like you can't wait but I'm saying in the grand scheme of life. But I'm saying in, like, what affects me,

Michael Jackson hits way harder than To My Brother and As Whom I Slept With. I don't give a shit. Like, I get Cosby's foundation or whatever, but, like, it doesn't, like, I don't know, man. That's Michael Jackson. That's why I think it depends. Or conversely, like, I will still watch Woody Allen movies.

And, like, I i won't you know what i mean like i it's it's like i'll still i'll still watch maybe not a new one but like yeah yeah you do think of it so maybe that's not separating it but like yeah you can have a relationship with the art maybe and you can have an awareness of who made it because it's also like they hurt it's also like also it's like once he put that out that product was for everyone so it's like am i supposed what am i like these are things that i bonded over my family on i can't i can't bond with my family because he was a bad person that's not like i'm not gonna like change my memories you know what i'm saying oh absolutely these are things that like it's like his the

stuff he did brought people together you know what i'm saying? Oh, absolutely. Like, these are things that, like, it was like his, the stuff he did brought people together. You know what I mean? Husbands and wives met over it. Like, you can't, like, he was a bad guy, but you can't, like, take that away, you know? That music becomes its own thing that, like, has its own relationships, like, after you put it out. Yeah, absolutely. My little sister had a Michael Jackson-themed bathroom. She decorated her entire bathroom.

What an interesting room to do that with. I know. Not her room. What was in her room? Oh, wild. She, decorum. She like made her own canopy bed. Like just like without having an actual canopy bed.

So she like hung drapes and stuff. She ruled drama. Rule drama, baby. Rule decorum. Yeah's there's things there absolutely that like i can't listen to mike jackson and not be like transported back to like having a great time with my sister and like that's okay that's okay that's good yeah it just is what it is it's not even like good or bad it's just like it is what it is uh time for the lightning round. This is hard. Arlo, your last pick.

My last pick. We're going to go with a real one. A real one. And I mean that in every sense. A real one. Cleopatra, baby. Absolutely informed the idea of a femme fatale. Was the most influential singular person on roman um culture

uh royalty decisions made fuck with caesar like was responsible for more shit that happened in rome that god what what a what a what a real one yeah absolutely iconic aesthetic absolutely informed the game like there's nothing cool about ancient Egypt that isn't kind of Cleopatra as well powerhouse amazing David your final

pick David oh David oh friend we don't have to explain it, right? I picked... No. Pick the bird Kingfisher next.

No, you can explain it. I don't want to explain it. What? The bird, the Kingfisher? Sorry, I'm fucking spiked. I can't hear you. He took his headphones off. Wow.

All right, the bird, the Kingfisher. I'll put it in there. I assume it eats fish. I assume it's an aquatic bird. I think. All right. The bird, the kingfisher. I'll put it in there. I assume it eats fish. Yeah. I assume it's an aquatic bird. I think it's tall. Are we still talking about this? This was weeks ago.

It was weeks ago. Sean, your final pick? King's Hawaiian sweet rolls. Are you fucking kidding me? I didn't pick it because I thought it was stupid. Oh, my God. What a bad day. What a bad fucking day.

It's a good roll. It's the best roll there is. Wait, did you get Dairy Queen and King's Roll? God damn. I did. I'm out here. I was like, no, David, that's stupid. That's what I said to myself.

It's a crucial part of the South Dakota wedding burger. It's the jail cell for the burger. No, it's fine. It was a good pick. Thanks, bud. Yeah, great pick. Time for my pick. The final pick of the draft.

My final pick. I'm taking the author of many of our favorite things our uh favorite things horror and otherwise i'm taking stephen king of course that's also a great fucking pick old stevie king carrie the dark tower the shawshank redemption stand by me man the guy wrote everything and then a bunch of like sneaker hits like b-sides and shit i don't know needfulful things. Some creepy shit. The Running Man. Yeah. Thinner. Thinner. Thinner. Thinner's weird. Thinner's a creepy one. Pet Sematary. Yeah.

Just like one of the greatest, I mean, the guy had consumption for a long time too, Sean. Oh, was he a drunk? He doesn't remember writing No, David, you dipshit.? He had a consumption head. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Like, he doesn't remember writing some of the- No, David, you dipshit.

It's tuberculosis. Jeez. Like, he doesn't remember writing, like, The Stand or something like that. I forget what it is. But, like- Are you serious? Yeah. That is a whole-

He wrote a whole book drunk? A bunch, I think. Yeah. That's amazing. He got hit by a van and was like, not okay, but fucking lived, I think. That's amazing! He got hit by a van and was like, not okay, but fucking lived, beat it. Because he was drunk? He got hit by a van? No, I think he was just out for a walk.

And then got drunk after. Kept it loose. I think this was after he was sober. That's such a good pick. I want to take mine back. He's not like Charlotte Bronte, you know what I mean? Or like, I don't know, like fucking... Hemingway.

I'm struggling to think of amazing... The guy who wrote The Corrections or whatever. But like, he... You have to... I mean, he's the greatest American author probably ever just based on like output, you know what I mean? And like the quality of the output. Just amazing. There's a lot of different ways to... And impact on culture, pop culture and otherwise. just based on like output you know what i mean and like the quality of the output just amazing

there's a lot of different ways to impact on culture pop culture and otherwise absolutely yeah like kind of redefining and expanding a whole genre yeah that's not nothing he's just wild and has written so many in in and like and then writes in other genres just amazing just an amazing author anyway that's my final pick not much of a lightning round. That's the final pick of the draft that wraps us up on kings and queens. Arlo, you went first. You took Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., RuPaul, the queen of drag,

Zeus, Michael Jackson, the king of pop, and then Cleopatra, the queen of Egypt. David... Come on, let's just see what Sean had. No, no, no. David, you went second. You took Strider from the Lord of the Rings. His name is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. Don't do that to me.

That is not fair. Don't do that to me. Mansa Musa. You took him first, by the way, Aragorn. Yeah, I know. Mansa Musa. Queen Bees from Beehives. Regina King.

And then the aquatic bird, the Kingfisher. You see them five at a table at Applebee's. What do you do? Go to my table. Salute. Bow down. I'm trying to pull up a chair if I can get in there. Sean Jordan, you went third.

You took Queen, the band, the show, the King of the Hill, Dairy Queen, LeBron James, King James, and then King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls, a crucial part of the South Dakota Wedding Burger. I went last and I took the Lion King, Queen Latifah, King Louis XIV, Elvis the King Presley, and then Stephen King. We left a lot of good stuff on the board. Oh, so much on the board, baby. There's nothing else on my list. Larry King, rest in peace.

Tiger King. King Tuff. King Tuff, the Tiger King. Carole King. Carole King, fucking tapestry. Billie Jean King. King Khan. I had Evelyn Champagne King.

Who's Evelyn Champagne King? You make my love come down. Oh, you make my love. Yeah. Yeah, there's a grip. Queen of Hearts. Oh, you make my love. Yeah. Yeah, there's a grip. Queen of Hearts. Truly an unhinged queen. Queen of Hearts.

In all aspects. Queen of the Night. Whitney Houston song. I was thinking about that song too, Ian. Queen of the Damned. I was thinking of Two of Hearts. That was on my list. Oh, Two of Hearts.

You're right. Queen Victoria of England. Yeah. Of course. And then Queen Elizabeth. I had Mary Queen of Squats. Catherine the Great. Queenie. Catherine the Great. oh two of heart you're right uh queen victoria of england yeah of course and then queen elizabeth queen of squats catherine the great queenie catherine the great queen elizabeth uh the first one the was the last of the tutor queens yeah she was a big deal queen uh fun queen elizabeth uh the first queen or the second queen elizabeth is the one we have now queen

victoria reigned for like 60 years or something like that, was crazy in love with her husband, Prince Albert, like actually loved each other. And her kids ended up becoming the King of England, the Tsar of Russia, and the Kaiser of Germany. Yeah. Doing it. Or her grandkids, something like that. One or the other.

Did Prince Albert have like a big smoking schvanz? Is that how we got the piercing in the penis called the Prince Albert? Maybe. I don't know. Probably something like that. One or the other. Did Prince Albert have like a big smoking schvanz? Is that how we got the piercing in the penis called the Prince Albert? Maybe. I don't know. Probably something like that. Speaking of which, if you're into royals,

listen to Noble Blood, my girlfriend Dana Schwartz's podcast. There it is. Mars, you got any picks? Yeah, Marissa, you got any kings or queens? Yeah, my pick would be

the queen piece in chess, the most powerful piece in the game. Oh, God. Damn it. That was her gambit. Damn. That was such a good hit.

Good job. That was. I'm having a hard time. I'm having a hard time out here. Rough draft today. It was a rough draft. You know what? You always need a rough draft.

Yeah. No, I got to stay humble. I'm fine with it. It's just like, you know, what did Kobe say after he blew it? I'm just going to go home, take you know what did Kobe say after he blew it I'm just gonna go home take some shots a lot of shots shoot

shoot all afternoon in the park put my sour earbuds in put my pop on my shower phones and just blast some Queen Priscilla Queen of the Desert

I don't know this is something I'm hoping do you know that movie it's not a well known one it's a drag queen romp you guys would like it a hoping. Do you know that movie? I do, yeah. It's not a well-known one. It's a drag queen romp. You guys would like it a lot.

Do people not know that? The bus is named Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. And it's a real fun adventure. It's a good feel good. Go watch that. It's right across the outback, right? It's an Australian, right? Yep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just watched an Australian feel good last night. Wait, what? What was it? The Sapphires movie, you know, with that big, tall Scottish dude, and then the girls sing soul, and they want to sing in Vietnam. It's on Netflix. It's pretty good.

Cool. I'll have to watch it. I don't know. Well, those are our picks. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to super producer Marissa.

You. Shout out to the All Fantasy Everything Patreon patreon thank you so much for holding us down shout out to the shaslackity we've been popping in there checking it out shout out to everyone on the afe subreddit shout out to arlo warehouser make sure you watch unprotected sets on epics check Check it out. Any shout outs, Sean? Yeah. Let me rip them off. I think we got about 10 seconds. Let me. I wasn't prepared.

I apologize. Yes. All right. Molly, heal that wrist up and get back on the dance floor. Marcia from Cassie in Australia. Niva. Shout out to Mr. ICP, Tim Watson from Matt and Steve from Julie. Happy 32nd birthday, homeboy. We. 32nd birthday homeboy 32 is a good one

yeah it is shout out to Sublime the band shout out to Frankie Ocean shout out to Sid the dude shout out to Haji Beats and more important than all of that tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything Kingfisher this guy Kingfisher. This guy. That was a HeadGum Podcast.