All Fantasy Everything - Las Vegas (Auction w/ Matt Braunger)

Episode Date: July 3, 2025

What happens on All Fantasy, stays on All Fantasy — unless you share it with others, which we highly recommend.Guest:Matt BraungerSupport the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Agent Nate Russo returns in Oracle III, Murder at the Grandview, the latest installment of the gripping Audible original series. When a reunion at an abandoned island hotel turns deadly, Russo must untangle accident from murder. But beware, something sinister lurks in the Grandview shadows. What's cracking, everybody? Before we get into the official episode, I wanted to take trilogy is available on Audible. Listen now on Audible. What's cracking everybody? Before we get into the official episode, I wanted to take a second and let everyone in Portland know

that Shane Torres, Mr. Ian Carmel, myself, and Mr. Kyle Kanane, and Mr. Shane Torres, why didn't I throw a mister on there? We are all gonna be doing a show on July 10th at Polaris Hall. Doors at 7, show at 8, $25 and it's going to be a benefit show. All proceeds going to communities being targeted by the ICE raids. We found a few charities in Portland and anywhere that we could help, we figured we should.

So we're doing that. It's going to be really fun. Ian Shane and I used to run a show together called Funny Over Everything and like one of our dreams was to have Kyle headline at some point so this is kinda like we get to do that. Anyway, come on out, it's gonna be a good time, a good ol' romp. The boys are back together and we're gonna give all the money to charity. So it's for a good cause.

So come on out for that. Players Hall, July 10th, doors at 7, show at 8. It's an amazing little venue. It's gonna be super fun and we'll see you there. ["Fantasy Everything Theme Song"] Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. The podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything

from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we are auction drafting a trip to Las Vegas. Our guest today is our dear, dear friend, stand-up comedian, actor, writer. One of the best to ever do it. One of the best to ever do it. Thank you, Steve.

A lot of the comedians we have on here could take or leave their material quite frankly. It's interesting, they're not very good. A man whose wife calls fat Donger is what David was making me say Don't put it on me, that's from all of us David goes That's from all of us

That's from all of us Hey It's good to be here my sweet boys It's good to be here with you Yeah, that's the best This is a different day for us Yeah, we weren't doing this an hour ago We podcasted This is this is a different day for us. It is yeah Yeah, we weren't doing this we know we're gonna podcast it yesterday, and then this is a whole different day That's why I have this t-shirt. I'm wearing the same shorts and shoes, but a different shirt

Yeah, I brought the same hat from last week. I noticed Ian brought a new hat Last week James Baldwin or corrupt. This is weird angle Baldwin or corrupt this is weird angle Diametrically different artists, but they're not Pretty fucking music or you know James Baldwin is my corrupt. Yeah, he's he was kind of the corrupt of his day. Cause he can freak you. He tell you his face. Who's gonna meet this? Alright. James Baldwin can freak you. David Bowie for $500, tell me who said it. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war, love is a growing up.

Was that James Baldwin or corrupt? Bounce, rock, roller skate is corrupt. Ooh, I'm sorry, that was James Baldwin. Check the Miami remix. Alright, I got one for you that was James Baldwin. Oh. Check the Miami remix. All right, I got one for you. The Little S.G. with the biggest dick. You play the mom and I'll be the daddy, and I'll be the daddy that runs the house.

Who said that? James Baldwin. Daz, trick question. Oh! Nice, trick question. Okay. Corrupt's life partner. Corrupt's, Corrupt's.

It is, you never hear, is Corrupt do stuff without Daz? Yeah. Yeah, he had a whole album. Did Daz do anything without Corrupt? I think that's the question. That's the question. No, I don't think so. It's like Nelly without the St. Lunatics, but the tics.

Right. Did you know he called him the tics all the time? It never caught on for me. That's not. Yeah, he calls him the tics. Who that is, talking that shit about the tics? Somebody probably jealous, talking that shit about the tics, somebody probably jealous, cause their wife got hit.

He says booby work. It sounds different when you say it. I know, and it sounds like a physical action when I said it, don't you? about the tics somebody probably jealous because their wife got hit. He says booby work. It sounds different when you say it. I know, and it sounds like a physical action when I said it. Because you said like four syllables, lunatics. You're like, I only have like one syllable here to make a reference.

That's a lot. That's a stretch. I gotta get this out. Trying to get him to say, but you should call us the tics. I've already been calling you the lunatics, and that's been tough for me already. But the loonies are taking them. I dropped the saints.

I dropped the saints already. In high school, Ian tried to start the Portland lunatics The punics and I would join the punics You were joining the high school We're a little we're crazy about poon yeah that's where the name I don't know do you get it mom do you agree do you know what do you know what poon means it's true for poon tang you need a debit card for the satin jackets okay we can't pay cash we'll give you the cash say it's okay to put that on the jacket I tried they won't let me put munchmaster

box on the back of mine I cut the sleeves off wrong. The pontoonitics is a different thing those are guys who are into pontoon boats. You know that Uncle Rick is off say bah pontoonitics. They want to fuck boats. Wait. Not us. But his boats says poon tang the pontoon. It's the poon tang pontoon.oon. Pontoon-tank. It's the pontoon. It's a different thing. Pontoon-tank. Oh wait, I'm going to the arcade. Can I have 20 bucks? Also.

You going down to Naples and getting some of that pontoon time? A pontoon tank. I will say of all the boats, Poon-tank is probably the easiest one to fuck on. I know, it's like a floating living room. Oh, it's got a really good base to it. Yeah, absolutely. I think pontoon is top. Yeah. Cater Moran second. Yeah. Yeah

What are we doing? Yeah I thought I meant boats that I could go on right realistic Fun just like with the cooler the way it's open air. Yeah, it's a floating like sectional basically Yeah, the speed boats that we got our hands on when I was like 20 my uncle they just do You're not having good sex I would argue though that the point of boat sex on a boat isn't good So you have done it's very much Mount Everest rule It's so we get back and we say remember when we just fucked on that boat. Yeah, let me ask you this I

Tried on a water rest of the tour got really mad Anyone else in this scenario? have you ever tried to have sex like on a water bed type situation? Water bed, no. I've never been on a water bed with a woman. You've been on a water bed otherwise. Want to know the truth? I've only ever been on the water bed with another little boy.

Yeah. I've been on a water bed with lots of young women. They were my babysitters when I was seven years old. Oh, they were rocking you to sleep. Well, just kind of putting me on it and punch the bed, and I'd fly off and hit the wall or whatever. God damn it, fat dungar, go to bed. I had some crazy babysitters, man.

That was the 80s. I fell off my friend's bunk bed and landed on this container of toys, his little sister. Just a bunch of jacks. I landed on this doll, and his sister would babysit us and she runs and he goes What are you fucking her? Seven years old that's awesome Steel colored painted nails like not silver steel. Oh, you're listening to bark of the moon by the Osborne

Savage women Trying to get blasted They were listening to bark of the moon by the Osborne these are savage women No, no, no, I didn't make it good on the porch on the porch waiting someone finger blast me Did you ever have a babysitter bring her boyfriend in? No, I never saw that I had I had one and it was fucked. Oh. Was he, did you convert, like did you correspond with the gentleman? No, it was just like hey my friend's coming over. Dearest Kyle. He was riding in a fountain pen. All I remember is he had braids. I bet he did. You know what he showed up for. Yeah, I had a babysitter just put in those in diapers and she put me on the kitchen floor and tore open a bag of cookies And just left me there and I ate the whole bag those little frosted animal crackers I still can't I can't touch him to really I ate him till I shat and barfed

Oh, I don't know my only reason I bring up is because she might have been fucking someone in the next room I don't know. That's probably my parents came home and found me and they're like, what the fuck? She stole something beautiful from you cuz that is a fine did maxine like so is now and I'll sneak, you know Two for me one for you kind of situation. Yeah, absolutely. I can eat this stuff That's like I can eat like a yogurt covered pretzel or whatever, you know, but I can't I don't know what it is I have trouble with marshmallows for the same reason. Can I tell you? Okay, this can't I don't know what it is. I have trouble with marshmallows for the same reason can I tell I barf? Can I tell you okay? This just remind me pussy? I'll eat I'll eat something when I give cuz the babysitter gave him a bag. I'm just trying to force it

We're not talking about that Bronner that was so funny Wanted you to feel it I was so okay Maxine wanted a snack the other night at like 8, like right before she went to bed. You're not gonna talk about the pussy thing? And I'm gonna gross right over. I feel like you moved to a story about your daughter too quickly. Yeah, the transition.

We can't even sit in it. The whiplash on that transition. My neck. I didn't even hear it. Say it again. Back of pussy? Back of pussy. So we're gonna skip the story I was gonna tell. Yeah! Fucking seven, we're all nine years old.

I'm having such a good day. You should have heard us an hour ago. For $600! Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it's faced. Who said it? James Baldwin or Corrupt? Say it again? I believe Nate Dogg sang it.

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. That is corrupt. That's corrupt. You have the board. Man, Baldwin or Corrupt. Actually, Isaac, new game. Baldwin or Corrupt? Two categories. One is Baldwin, one is Corrupt. You started with a C, you already blew it.

It's okay. He's even corrupted the word corrupt Called corruption. I do remember seeing we could freak it on like Late night BET as a kid and being like I don't know what this is, but I get it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah I was watching more Nick at night. I'm being just full cards on the table bewitched get smart I watched Donna Reed drag which plants Lancelot chimp was it?

What's a lot link the the like the the monkey that was a cop? I think you had a fucked-up dream. That was also a genius You just googled a bunch of shit Google that please my three sons, Dobie Gill and it's Lancelot link I swear to God Your anger tanks the roundtable remember that's a lot like secret chip whoa That was on Nick at night you fucking liar. I don't want you to got my back a little harder. You're older than me Yeah, Sean's 60. I was watching it.

Do you know who this is? Like between that Vietnam being like, thank God I did my time. Yeah, God, you ducked that one. The producers were Stan Burns and the guy named Mike Marmor. Mike Marmor. Marmor Marmor. Mike Marmor. Oh, former writers for Get Smart.

I might have liked this show. You liked Get Smart. Loved Get Smart. Did you also start watching it because you were smart? No, the shoe phone got him. Yeah, it did. Dog, I still think the hardest pose is the shoe phone. Yeah.

I don't do it all the time, but a lot of times I'll pull it out. Oh, it looks good. Like if it's a picture with my brother, I'll take off my shoe and then. Yeah, that's a good one. Get Smart had a moment in it Picture with my brother. I'll take off my shoe and then yeah, that's a good one get smart Had that had a moment in it that kind of fucked get smart for me though as a kid because there's there there

They're all so I'm a pastor. Yeah, and gave me a bag of pussy They were all in they'd all been taking like captive by the enemy and stuff and they're stuff, and they're all in their little suit shirts, and they're like, how do we get out? I was like, well, the fence is electrified, and Dennis just tried it, one black guy. And he looks fine to me. He used to be white.

I'm like, oh. You didn't know that was a good joke then, man. You didn't know that was a bad joke. It made me so sad. I was like, aw. Like this poor man looked at the fucking script. You don't know what poor... Come on, Bronner. Dude, you don't know.

Come on, Bronner. We all laughed at some terrible shit. I did laugh at terrible shit. I wrote that joke. The actor even looked sad. The actor even looked sad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Not to bring down the room. You know who made me sad when I was a kid was Andre the Giant. Oh, did he really? I just knew that he was too big to live a life that was Yeah, and he was always hurting. He always had a face like I'm hurting. I just, he talks so slowly cause Princess Bride. Yeah, Princess Bride, he's fucked up.

You could just tell. You could just, anybody want to be there? Yeah, and they're like fuck. He can't move that well. He couldn't catch her jumping out the window for real. And the smile didn't extend to his eyes. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, he was on the way out.

The dead eyes of Andre the Giant. You know what else fucks me up about Andre the Giant? Now that's what I think French people look like. Well. All of them are eight feet tall. There is a... It's a... It's a...

Like, I know other people think about like, you know, it's where the naked ladies dance, but to me, it's where the giant wine pen is. Yes, it's where the giant's... It's where that Andre's giant... Where a man can crush a hundred beers a day. Live in the hills. And eat sheep that they purloin from the village.

Do you see that documentary about him? Where he just passed out in front of the elevator and no one could get into their rooms? Yeah. Like a sandwich. Or just like he had to pee standing outside of the bathroom into the bathroom because he couldn't fit in the airplane bathroom.

Content intercontinental flights. Yeah. Oh yeah. Could you imagine what one of those dudes would do? I'd do that anyways. Yeah, do you think he took big old shits? Or so many little ones. Yeah. Could you imagine what one of those dupes looks like? I'd do that anyways. Yeah, do you think he took big old shits? Or so many little ones. Oh yeah.

I bet it was so many little ones. If you drink a hundred beers in a day, I don't care how good your constitution is, you're taking, you got the trots. Oh yeah. So many booze coming out. It's coming out like a sort of flood control, I think, like on a dam. I bet they had to have, like, they had to double the toilet bowl size at his house. Oh god, he probably had a custom giant bowl custom giant bowl big any of us would fall in. I bet you he was up on that Japanese shit early

Oh with the flood. Yeah, like what would you like? Mr. Giant? Yeah, like Vince McMahon He was like, I'll see you made him sign the contract by getting him a Japanese toilet But I wanted to sound for him. Yeah from 2001 Your bottom is exceptionally clean Made for him. Made for him. How from 2001. Yeah. Oh, I see. Your bottom is exceptionally clean. Thank you. Hello, Andre. Thank you for your poop, Andre the Giant.

Clean my butt. I can't do that, Andre. We had those toilet seats that shut slow early COVID. I shut it and I was like, Laura, come in here. And I was like, all right, stand there. And I just let it shut I go Sean thank you for your Ever felt more in the house we got married and had a kid after that

That's one of the greatest conversions of all time Just like how funny is that she's like I mean I'm going back to bed so that funny She was nodding off pots and pans get up get up now. I have to poop again, so it works again I cracked the code we're gonna move into a new place Sean Jordan is here Sean Kruger melon Jordan on Instagram This comes out you know On on a date hold on I will be at helium Comedy Club Portland, Oregon with Blair Sockie, July 11th, 12th, and 13th. Come on out. Uh, Kelly Jordan's gonna be in the house for one of those shows. Oh, nice.

Oh, really? Yeah, she's gonna come visit for a week. This comes out July 3rd. Uh, yeah, come to that. This comes out on my mom's birthday. Oh! Mom town. I'm gonna be hanging out with my mom when this comes out. Well, in a couple days out there.

Oh, fuck. Did you poop? Dude, me and my brother got all stoned and I bought my mom Paul Simon tickets. Whoa. And then- That's good. What'd she, that's terrible. I haven't told her.

Oh. I gotta tell her to get it off work. Yeah. Okay. You got a lot of bars. She listens. I'm gonna beep that. She listens. No, she didn't- Paul Simon listens.

Paul Simon. Yeah. We don't want him to feel the heat, dude. I'm really glad you said that, that didn't. Paul Simon listened. Paul Simon. Yeah. We don't want him to feel the heat, dude. I'm really glad you said that, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's it, come see Blair at Helium. Blair's one of the best comedians on the planet, and you would be a fool not to come see her,

and I'll be there as well. The hard sell from Sean Jordan. David Bowie here, coolguyjokes87. On Instagram. I don't have any dates right now, I probably won't start hitting it back till September because I'm moving so, you know watch all fantasy everything hang out Go to my Instagram. You're moving to Bentonville, Arkansas Matt

Brunger is here. Daddy boom boom. Yes, that bronger on Instagram. Yep. Yeah bronger is here. Mattie Boom Boom. Matt Bronger on Instagram. Matt Bronger on... Actually just at Bronger on Instagram. It's just at Bronger. Just Bronger. Whoa, you dropped a Matt. No, I never had a Bronger. Never had a.

That was my little hilarious. It's at Bronger. It is funny. Are you the biggest Bronger? I mean physically. No, I got a cousin bigger than me. If I look at Bronger... Yeah. Taller than you? But... than me. If I look up Bronger. Yeah, taller than you?

But. You're definitely the first hit on Bronger. Wait, you have a, wow. The wild thing about my name is there's less than 200 of us in the US. Same. And there's almost none. Really?

I mean. Wow. I think in the US, there's maybe 20, but they aren't related to me. Lot of Bronkers in Sierra Leone though. We're gonna small part of a small place. Okay, and then there's almost, it's not a big G on the Bronkers.

It's like the bag of pussy thing, but for me, so I said a lot of Bronkers in Sierra Leone. I liked it. Thank you, all right. A lot of books narrated by Matt Bronker. So random. Oh, Audible has your specials, nice. Yeah, I mean, there used to be a Bronger Meats in Sioux City, Iowa, but then my dad's cousin sold it. But-

What? That close to where I'm from? Yeah, Sioux City is the Bronger Mecca. That's where they're all from. Wow. That's where my great grandfather- You know I'm from Sioux Falls, just up the road. I didn't know, we've never talked about this. Not really, no. I don't know, I'm from Sioux Falls, just up the road. I didn't know.

We've never talked about this. Not really. I don't remember it if we did. We've had a couple of sessions. I forget. I don't even like it. I forget how close it is to Sioux Falls because it's like, you know, I've gone for like a famous Zoom.

It's the kind of thing you'd want to forget. Yeah. Sioux City is so rough, dude. It's rough. Sioux Falls is a walk in the park compared to Sioux City. It is crazy down there. It's gone pretty far downhill since my dad was a boy. Yeah, was buck. All my uncles drag race. Since the meat store closed. Yeah like they were. Whoa did they make their own dresses?

It's almost like you were sitting there like that's when you know someone's lying about how progressive they are. Yeah my uncles all they're on the drag like don't they fucking get in. Shut up dude. Who are you trying to appeal to? My uncle was Darcell. There was one. My dad goes by they. No. They don't. They close their meat store.

No, they don't. They close their meat store. If you know what I mean. No. Do you know what I mean? Alright, we're gonna start over. Yeah, I get it. Alright. Welcome to another brand new episode of

My Uncle Was a Woman. No! There's a podcast, that does exist. Oh man. Is that problematic? Isaac. Maybe, I don't know. I'm not the best bra.

If it was, you wear it. I wear it? Yeah, it's on you. It's his fault? Yeah, it's his fault. Okay. Is the foil. I don't mind. It's on you his fault. Yeah Okay, is the foil I don't mind I don't mind okay I don't think it's bad show a picture by the way you're getting some compliments on how attractive You're good-looking dude It is buck where it's like whoa just a shot of lightning

Well, he's also in charge of the edit of which cuts he gets, all right? That's true. So if you see one of me looking rough, okay, just know that Isaac's over there calling the shots, right? He's also clean living. You can tell he has much better skin than all of us. So we look older than him, right? But we look sandblasted compared to you.

There's lime in this beard. What are you talking about? I'm 24. Yeah. I'm 80. I'm doing all right. There have been several different Reddit comments about how good looking you are and how beautiful your voice is.

I gotta get back on Reddit. I've been looking in there. No, stay in the alpha. You're all right, stay with the red leather. Matt Brongers here, it's coming out July 3rd. Oh, happy birthday, mom. I hope you like Paul Simon. No, she does.

She... it'll be good. Um, yeah, I got a little bit of an announcement. Please! Let's go. I'm on a podcast, and I have not announced this to anyone publicly, but, um... You hear it. ...got a podcast coming out, la-di-da, called Tank Top Talks, where myself and my guests,

each were a tank top of our choice Oh brother talk about they mean to us and then get into get into each other's lives and We've banked probably eight episodes so far you guys are all coming on. You're all coming on individually I can't already think of both both. I'm already thinking of tank top someone like I just got sent a picture from my engineer There's me in uh There's me and Dave Holmes rocking it. Oh, look at that color. Wait, so can I see some? Yeah, I got a pink neon sign.

And the wild thing about it is it's kind of this kind of... It's a fun little hack to get people to feel like a little bit more open because we both feel so stupid. Yeah, I love tank tops. I don't think they necessarily look good on me, but I love how they feel. They feel like a vacation. The catchphrase is tank tops are ridiculous, but they feel good. And the reason why they feel good is because they're ridiculous. Yes. Like you might as well be wearing no shirt,

but you have this strap thing just to cover your tits. Yeah. Do you guys do you not wear them every day? No, not every day on vacation every day. I do. Well, you guys wear wear them every day? No, not every day. On vacation every day I do. Well you guys wear, you guys wear like Hanes tank tops every day right? I'm strapped right now. Yeah. Oh yeah. Every day of my life.

You guys are strapped. I love it. I to me that- Stay ready, don't gotta get ready. Absolutely. I keep it wet. Dave, Dave didn't even have a tank top. He was like, I don't, what about me makes you think I have a tank top at all?

And he writes, he bought one drunk in Miami that says, bitch I'm gay. So he wore that. So I drunk in Miami that says bitch I'm gay so what am I gonna wear now? What's that? What am I gonna wear now? You can't wear that one. Gay I'm a bitch. Anyway, that's what we can wear. Gay I'm a bitch. So do you have like a stable of tank tops or are you the one with... I'm running out.

My wife is like you gotta buy a lot more tank tops. How many tank tops do you have? I own about probably nine. I can see that. That doesn't feel crazy. You feel like a tank tops and thongs kind of guy. No, I don't really... No thong?

No. When you say thong you mean flip flop. Slides. No, tank top and whale tail. That's a look. So basketball jerseys don't really know now like a thought I flip-flop slide. I wear slide whale tail. Yeah You got the look so basketball jerseys don't count you can wear them. Okay. Oh, really? Well, I was laughing cuz I'll buy a jersey my reason why is my two black male guests so far both wore Will you better get ready for a third? Will miles and Langston Kerman, both of them are.

Any Jews come on there wearing basketball jerseys yet? We have Jews yet. Those are the second biggest buyers of basketball jerseys. Absolutely, yeah. Did anyone, did they come on wearing a basketball jersey? A jersey? My jersey. A jersey.

These Bud Light Limes are getting in my kitchen. So when is that? That's July 15th. July 15th. Yep. So you can auto, you can auto-erotic associate yourself after that. It'll be on my YouTube page, but also on Leon Aldo. Shoke it up, jerk it off, gush that subscribe.

Hell yeah. Catch that ropey jizz on the tank top of your choice. That's right. God, I'm so sorry to all female Kathleen no there are sure you have a huge female Turn it off after I'm so sorry all Simon thing probably no, but listen listen to that. I'm excited Yeah, you can you can subscribe to it right now already probably ahead of time I'm so sorry. I'm gonna turn it off after the Paul Simon thing, probably. No, but listen to that. I'm excited. Thanks, dude. Yeah, you can subscribe to it right now.

Already, probably ahead of time. Yep. So as when the tank top drops. Yep, when it drops. You know, you're ready for it. First episode, Stef Tolev. It's a blast. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, yeah.

I think that I like that you're reclaiming the tank top for dudes who don't have huge buff arms. That's what I like about it. Most of them. I'm also a child of the 80s, and I remember the dudes who don't have huge buff arms. That's what I like about it. Most of them. I'm also a child of the 80s, and I remember the dudes who wore tank tops tucked into their pants were the absolute psychos of the world.

Yeah. That's what I wear. I'll wear pants and a tank top for every episode, and I look like the guy in a shitty movie who sells drugs outside of school. That's the John Claude Van Damme dancing. It's him, like, tank top with, like, slacks on. It's Swayze in Roadhouse working out. Isaac, when are we getting you in a tank top

tucked in a cheetah? You have one on right now. Are you in a tank top every day, Canada? Play into the family. You wear tank tops. Oh, I do, I do. But I don't wear them underneath a shirt. I wear them.

You know, they're not a Henley. They're not to be wed with a Henley. Wed? No, no, no. He's talking about Maxine Scottish Henley's he's a gun fry guy Beef is with the Scots And that's the end of it my name is Ian Carmel Ian Carmel across platforms

You can watch my special comfort befort Beyond God's Foresight, right now on YouTube by my book, T-Shirt Swim Club, available now everywhere books are sold. We're about to cross, if you haven't bought it yet, now's a good time, we're about to cross a very fun threshold in sales. Two million dollars. Two million.

Minus. How many? Come on, do the quick math. One million, nine hundred. Nine hundred thousand? How many One million 990,000 and one Well 10 whatever 10,000 is yeah, we're about to cross that plot plateau Which is pretty crazy because most books sell like less than 10 copies Anyway check that out. I have no dates, stand up or otherwise.

But you can see, I'll be around Portland doing stand up with this guy. Yeah, we'll get a date. Right here. You're gonna be in Portland July 5th through like 10th? July 12th. No. Well, I'm trying, I'm busting my ass

trying to find time to go back. It's just tricky. Do you go back home a lot? A couple times a year. My folks still live there. And now they're, you know, that I have this kid. It's like, you know home a lot. A couple of times a year. My folks still live there. And now they're you know that I have this kid. It's like you know I mean I stopped mattering decades ago. But like this kid is just they're just like my mom talks about my my daughter

the way like a Bond villain. Have you seen that one where he's just talking about all that water? He's like this is the most precious resource. Yeah. We must control as much of it as possible. And they're all with the ear things in and like Daniel Craig's up in the eaves. You know talking about yeah, that's my mom talking about Rose Yeah, you know. Yeah. Oh, it's the one after the source the quantum of The summer weird summer back to the French that weird French villain favorite amount of solace a quantile It's a heavier by them right wasn't either wasn't either it's the perfect no that was a guy fall that's

that's skyfall could I trouble you for a quantum I've always my favorite of the new ones I love skyfall I also love to sing skyfall it's fun yeah person so we can harmonize I like like, is it, oh, Gladys Knight did License to Kill? Oh yeah. That song bangs. That's a good one. Diamonds are Forever too. Yep.

Is that Eartha Kitt? Fucking Paul McCartney, Live and Let Die. Mm-hmm. Fucking Bond song. That's a good one. That's a Bond piece of shit. Yeah, that's from Live and Let Die. Man.

From the greatest, to me the greatest bond villain quote ever I'm taking his eyes off the disrespect. I saw it. I'm trying to I'm trying not to give it any shine all of me. I'm not throwing a log in that fight rise up on this man Oh, it's burning hot on its own baby. It's amazing. Oh me loves all of you Different had fine. All right, I didn't realize yours was sorry to interrupt you. Yeah Kodo in Live and Let Die, where Roger Moore comes in, the name is Bond. James, it's the only time he ever got interrupted. And he's Bond. James, he's like, names for tombstone, sucker.

Take the tonki outside and waste them. That's what I did when you walked in. Thank you. It was pretty cool. Yafet Kodo, dude. Such a badass. Shout out to he-lism. We're auction drafting Las Vegas. Woo-woo said Kodo, dude. Such a badass. Shout out to Helism.

We are auction drafting Las Vegas. Woo woo. All of us are fans of the city of sin. Sin City, they call it. With auction drafts, if you don't know how these work, we usually do them on the all-fan-a-the- Oh, I'm falling apart. No, you're good. Falling apart.

I've been up since 6 a.m. Isaac, you gotta get calling us up, dude. All-fantasy, everything. I just realized I'm saying stay tight, Pony Boy, it's stay gold. Stay gold, stay gold, Pony Boy. Keep it tight, Pony Boy. That's later on.

That's a whole lot of boo. That's the sequel. That's called the Insiders. Still advised. Insiders. Yeah. Keep it tight, Pony Boy. Insightish. Keep it tight, pony boy. Keep it tight, pony boy. Socials won.

Keep it tight, pony boy. He's hustling. He moves to New York and he's hustling. You gotta keep it tight, pony boy. Yeah, I gotta keep it tight, buddy. It's like the sequel to Urban Cowboy. If this is your first time listening to an all-fantasy everything auction draft, there are some things

you should know. Oh. Uh. Good job. Each one of us has $100 to bid, okay? We all have the same amount of money to bid. And we have to draft things, we have to bid on things in the auction that we can fit into one of five categories that fit into Las Vegas.

A type of restaurant, a type of gambling game, a type of show, an amount of days to spend in Las Vegas, and then a wild card where we can put anything that can be from those earlier four categories or not. It could just be literally anything about Las Vegas. The way this works is one of us will put something up for the bidding. We'll say this type of restaurant or this many days in Vegas,

and we'll say an amount of money to bid on it. And then any one of us can bid more money on that thing, and it's not over until someone has been declared the final bid, and there are no further bids remaining. The only rule is you just have to make sure you have enough money left over to fill all five of your categories. You can move something from one category to another,

so from restaurant to wild card or what have you, for the price of one dollar. Yeah, you're charged. Are we also doing sales in between? I feel like when it's live, I feel like we should- Sell to each other, you mean? Yeah, when it's live. I feel like we can cross that bridge when we come to it. Yeah, we can.

If you want to sell something off to another person, that's in play as well. Those are the rules. For the All Fantasy Everything auction draft. We are auction drafting a trip to Las Vegas and it's going to start right after this short break. And we're back! Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything already in progress. The only podcast that has ever existed, that is of course, except until July 13th? 15thth 15th

Tank top talks of Matt Bronger with Matt Bronger Available everywhere podcasters sold then they'll be to podcast. Those are the two. That's it Matt as the guest. Yes, would you like to put the first thing up for the bidding? Yeah All right, you're one ground up or we or word So do I say the thing and plus how much money I would give for it? That's right, exactly. Okay, so I'm gonna go, and I will put this on the table.

I'm betting with my heart on these things, not with like, you know, this is my stratagem. Heart is all we have. But keep in mind, like, if you, you don't wanna start with like a 50, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This week in, okay, all right. Oh yeah, no, I'm not gonna be like,

$80 this, you know? No. But my favorite, I'm not gonna be like, $80 this, you know. No. But my favorite, and you can shoot me down if this isn't a category, but for restaurant, I'm gonna say fancy restaurant at the bar. Oh, I think that absolutely counts. At the bar, because what my wife and I will do, we'll bounce from fancy restaurant to fancy restaurant

to the bar, because the reservations are fucked. They're fucked every time. So you just to fancy restaurant to the bar because the reservations are are fucked They're fucked every so you just go two seats at the bar and you get one or two things off the menu bounce Have a drink you're out Restaurants in a night We go like Le Cirque we can go to cut we can go to you know Whatever and it's carbone and it's just like oh we got room with the bar Yeah, yeah, so I got calamari at Carbone. Uh-huh. Now should we say this also disqualifies fancy restaurant at a table? I don't think so

Reservation way if you get on there months in advance, you know when you're going. Yeah, you're trying to get fried chicken caviar, right? Did we do that? Yes, we did that. Yeah, we did that. Yeah, we did that Are you serious it'll come up a lot Remember, okay Oh, yeah, so Las Vegas we would sell J&Z in Las Vegas seen the pictures Los Yeah, yeah, let's check us. I'll do So I'll do, I'll do 15 bucks for that. I would advise you as a first time auctioner, start lower.

Please. I'll do five. See where it goes. I'll do five. Yeah, I'm the worst betting gambler. No, no, I'm pretty, I like what's happening here. Because we all might have different restaurants in mind. So you always want to see how low you can get it for.

Got it, okay. But sometimes you don't want to disrespect the choice by giving it too low. I'll disrespect the choice all day. Copy that. Copy that. All right. So fancy, at a bar. I think you might walk with this, though. It's the good thing that you're starting at five.

Okay. Could be a good wild card pick, too. Because I don't think anybody had this. This was a pretty out of the box. Was it a fancy restaurant that we were... that we got our jet to go when it was me, you, and Nick? When I ate off the menu? Yeah.

I didn't want to say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, we can say it now. But it was, I'd never, I didn't know Las Vegas was the way Las Vegas is. So we're drinking Miller Lights in the room and Ian and Nick are like, bring it down to the restaurant.

Nick almost, to prove a point, was telling me like, you have to bring a beer to this restaurant. We sit down in a pretty nice restaurant. They couldn't have looked, they could have been less involved with my Miller Light. They were so in a pretty nice restaurant. They couldn't have looked, they could have been less involved with my Miller Lite. They were so excited that was there.

Like, oh yeah, of course. Then we got a nice bottle, nice rattle of wine. And then we got dinner. Well, I was so drunk. I was so, so, so drunk that I don't know if they didn't bring us plates or if I just couldn't conceive of them being at the table though they were, which is equally likely. What was the restaurant? I don't know if they didn't bring us plates, or if I just couldn't conceive of them being at the table though they were,

which is equally likely. What was the restaurant? I don't remember. Okay. We were in Caesar's Pals. It was Italian of some kind, and fancy, because they were leather-bound menus, and that's...

Sort of like plates. Remain to the conversation, because I used my leather-bound menu as a plate for wet meatballs. Oh, fuck. So I just took these wet meatballs and flopped them onto the menu And they're just like I don't get paid enough to tell this guy Yeah, they didn't even tell us to leave. No like all three of us are like we should brag it out We ordered it and they were like let's go rap it and then we like left because we were just like I can't be I had

To go pass out. It's a part from a Fear and loathing in Las Vegas where he's like on ether and he stumbled a circus circus There's like there's nothing Vegas likes more than a helpless drunk. Yes, like, you know, they're not gonna kick you out I think also after a certain time in Vegas. It's pretty much just steak Italian or Asian as far as like o'clock like The food that you're eating. The restaurant. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like this, it's one of these three things. Yeah. I'm ordering one of seven things that I get at all these places. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, steak Italian or Asian. This was Italian.

Ew. Yes, hence the meatballs. Played us a menu. So I think Brogger gets fancy at the bar under restaurant at $5. Get it. Nothing wrong with that pick. I think we all just have our own little. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wanna hear yours. Get it. Nothing wrong with that pick. I think we all just have our own little.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wanna hear yours. No, that was really outside the box for a restaurant, too. I will start doing that, I think, now. Especially, that's especially good if there's like two of us, you know, or like a smaller group. And you get to see, you can walk around a little bit. You're not tied down. It's also, have a little app, you'll drink.

The champagne bar when you walk into the Bellagio just plopped down by the piano Can't do it you get me around a piano I just can't Guy push him away After this It's already grown We got back tomorrow and we're like yeah David we did it David I went to Vegas we got back tomorrow and we're like, yeah, David, we did it. David and I went to Vegas. We got there at one. You could make it back for the recording easily. If we go to Vegas tonight, we're flying.

Would not be much of a recording. You don't ever drive. Yeah, we're flying. Oh, we drove one road in and out. It sucks. It's terrible. Joking about how bad Ian had to poop up until we got to Lake Lindo Boulevard and then it was like, don't talk in the car. Was that that was Palm Springs. Oh that was Palm Springs yeah all right. That was a long ride home. Same general direction. Same general. I had to poop so.

It was funny up until it wasn't. Funny until we were like on the 134 and I'm like I can't joke about it anymore. It's become an issue. It's become emotional. We're a block away from the hospital like I really got to go to the bathroom he's like getting it. We're a block away from awesome like I really got to go to the bathroom. He's like Stop it stop this not even kind of funny. Yeah You know my new buddy Zach Hoffman. Yeah, he's like he's like we should have buggin The dance you do in the way the bathroom. I was past shitter bug the shitter bug. I was shassed out in the corner shopping for a shambulance Shit my pants call a shambulance Ian no one thinks is as funny as you do Open a window I need the shy like

Kick me in the tummy Shardy extra rest there's a bunch of poop clogging my butt kick me in the tummy. Something sharty extra rest. There's a bunch of poop clogging my butt. Kick me in the tummy. Let's work our way up the menu there. Sean Jordan, do you want to put something up for the better? Word, yeah. I want to go with the game. I want to go roulette. I want to go one dollar. Yeah, a roulette man.

Five dollars. Man, it was...these two will know. But I don't know what I'm doing too much on the gambling floor. When I walked up, played roulette for the first doing too much on the gambling floor when I walked up played Roulette for the first time But 20 on red and I was like so if I if it's red I get 40 bucks if it's black I get nothing and the guys he's looking at me like yeah, and I won Five times in a row or something and then I lost that last time wrote roulette

So much fun, but what a wild ride. Yes, the swings are so big. Yeah, and I'm so like on roulette. I'm so like I Don't have the mind of a gambler. So I'm playing all the corners. Yeah, cuz I want to play for a long time Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know people who have like strategies where they play the same numbers every time and like like this Section of numbers and then this section of numbers. I can't hold all that information. I also feel like it's gambling. It resets every, every, you know what I mean? Well, that's how I got the eight hundy. Sometimes I'll just bet black, I'll just bet red.

Maybe just a couple numbers. But I've had a stack on a color and it's like boom, you know? The 50-50 aspect of it. That's how I got the eight hundy when we were there for the bachelor party. Sean worked his way up to $800. I was walking around with Edward chip hands over here and I was just walking around like eight hundred bucks. You worked up from what? From like?

Like 50. 50 to 800, we were begging him to take it out. One, all of it. And then yeah, and then we went to a hundred dollar, hundred dollar a spin and David's like, they have different ones. Doesn't need to be this one. I was really trying to pull you away

and you were like, it doesn't matter. Remember when I, it was a server, I was like, they sent somebody a Jäger. And you were like, it doesn't matter. Remember when I was at the server, I was like, they said something about a Jägerbaum. I was like, as soon as the Jägerbaum gets here, I'll quit. They just never showed up. Which is never a good metric for anything. No. They probably have a button that's like,

slow play that Jägerbaum. Of course they do. I think even the wait, the staff though, of course. Yeah, the cocktailer probably went to the bar was like, Jägerbaum and the bar was like like it read Robin They're not gonna bring you a table full of fries right away. You know yeah except except well in where except you're about to be Drinks while you're gambling when you're like I guess you don't really care about them. They just come yeah, but when you're like

When you need only playing this nickel slot machine I'm only playing this nickel slot machine. No, they know that too. Back of my cheap hands. Bleed them out. They're like, I didn't know. We were in the hotel room. I'm gonna take my time. Slow walk this.

For, I guess probably Jay-Z, we were in the hotel room. David's like, come on, let's go get a drink. And then you just pulled up to a slot. And I'm like, what are we doing? And then he goes, they're just gonna bring us drinks. And I didn't believe it. And then we got Hennessy. Nice.

It could be like 50 bucks. You were really surprised. You were like, no. We're putting like a dollar in this thing anyway. Yeah, this declared profit Yeah, as long as you're gambling Vegas is the only place cuz I used to play I used to hate it when I used to Do comedy there? Eating in the cafeteria with the other You know, I haven't left the Tropicana in 15 hours

That's the longest week. The other workers. You're like, I haven't left the Tropicana in 15 hours. Oh my god. But that's, you'll know, like that's the only place where if you go a minute over, they're like, what are you doing? Right. You're stealing money from the floor. Yeah, you do 40.

Don't go long. Yeah, exactly. You know what else I love about Vegas? They do not give a shit if you bomb. No. Oh no. You could fucking blow it and they're like, all right, so see you tomorrow night. Like, there's no, like usually if you blow it, the club owner's like, alright, so see you tomorrow night Yeah, like there's no like usually if you blow it the club owners like oh

But like if you blow it in Vegas, they don't give a shit they didn't watch yeah They're like you were a human taking up space for 45 minutes. They're there to stop the bleeding for a minute They're going back to continue They have to get endorphins from something that isn't you. I was featuring at the RIV, and I did 20 minutes twice a day. And by the end of the week, I had it to the second. I knew how to leave my room, get in the elevator, all the way down, walk in hearing my name, up,

and then back. Just back to your room to get dried out by the air conditioner blowing fucking hurricane force wind. Hey, do you want to stick around and say what's up to the crowd no? Nor today think it's a mutual decision. They'll never remember fine. They don't know this happened $9 roulette your boy takes it going once roulette going twice Really? $10 let's put some respect on the same it's gonnaunt you. Why do you keep doing that? Because I'm nuts, dude.

All right. You got me. Do you have time for your first bidding? I mean, let's put our nuts on the table. Blackjack. Okay. Start at five. Ten. Fifteen.

Twenty. Twenty-five. I can go wildcard. What are you talking? What are you doing? Well, he's gambling is what he's doing. Yeah, I'm saying. Broncos even like, what the fuck? Blackjack is my favorite one. I feel like, and I think Vegas likes it,

I feel like this, that I'm good at it. Sure. But I'm not, because nobody is. I mean- Well, you saw 21, so you know how to count cards. You just have to say- 21. And now you see me.

You have to stay steadfast in your convictions. You have to stay steadfast in your convictions. You have to have your rules to hit. I don't have the patience for Black Jack. You can't break your shit. You can't, like, because once you start breaking your own rules, then you're chasing, and then you're like, maybe I do hit on a 17.

You gotta live by a code for sure. Yeah, you have to have it. You have to have it. And don't break it. That's why, yeah. It's just not that fun to me. You don't like it. Not really. It's the highest I've ever gone up.'s the most money you ever won in Vegas cool I mean like low stakes blackjack is seems like the one you can play the longest

Hmm. No, like what where you get longevity out of the games? There's another one Low money blackjack though, you can play for a while. It's just blackjack. It runs hot and cold man And you know, I'mjack in any amount for a while. Like really, if you're prepared to take that hit, because you do kind of stay around your equilibrium. I recently though, I lost, man, I lost $200 on Blackjack in like 45 minutes. Not that much.

I went back to the record store. I was at my mom's house. You gotta say I lost that on shoes. I was at my mom's house. I was at my mom's house and I had my show in Oakland. I sold a shitload of tickets. So I was back in the Bay Area triumphant. My mom lives up the street from the old casino I used to work at. And I was like, oh, you went back into the ground zero. I was like, fuck a boy done good.

You walked back in. Conqueror hero. Let him see what money looks like. And then I fucking blew it so fast. My little brother and his girlfriend were with me, and they're like, we're going to go to the bar and get a drink. And I lost the money so fast, I got embarrassed,

I just walked back to my mom's house. And my brother called me, I was like, oh, I thought you were, I couldn't find you, I just gave back to mom. I thought you were going to drink at home. Yeah, and I was like, oh I thought you were, I couldn't find you, I just came back tomorrow. I thought you were gonna drink at home. Yeah, cause I was scared somebody who I used to work with was gonna see me. The person that hired you is just standing there like, we'd get it all back. We knew it. Yeah, we knew it. We knew you'd come back. We always.

We always. Dumpin' David. We are. Yeah. Told you the guy had a problem, we just had to wait 20 years. We always. The house always wins. De Niro's standing right behind him like, it does. The house always wins. It does. You beat De Niro. The House always wins the Nero standing right behind him like it does

Shit am I getting blackjack are you I'm not paying 20 I don't know 25 fuck a blackjack man. I love blackjack, but I got other gay you 25 is hot That's coming to your hot head. Yeah, you're going nuts. Well. I mean I've eaten a meatball off a blackjack table so we can put in restaurant 26 Just to take it just to secure the bag a mensch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, preesh bro. You did that? I did that. That was really nice of you. Yeah, but I want it too. I don't want it for 26 I feel like I can that's the thing I came in with the biggest boner for.

Okay. That's what got my dick the hardest, bro. Sure. Now, in technical terms here, what I had the biggest boner for, WRT, this auction draft, it would have been Blackjack. Really? Out of all of Vegas, that was your biggest boner?

Yeah, the one where I was like I can I don't want to wiggle I don't want to wiggle this one or two for one direction or the other I can think of at least one where a boner would help out a lot more What activities in Vegas? Yes, I'm not doing any of those things. I Sex in Vegas that never happened for me. I don't know. Yo, I don't think I've ever gotten laid out No hooking up one of my Zach Harper I'm not gonna air out. I was Holy cow I was gonna for the bars our Zach

That car for in a lot of he's watching to that is why I know he just punched the computer satire I feel he'd be proud of it I feel like he'd be proud of it. He would be. He's a loser. I think he lives under the burden of a man. We all know, guys who get a lot of trim, it's a lot more complicated than it looks. It is. It is.

It's never like, you know. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Sure. That kind of energy. It's never been a problem for a whole year. Heavy is the dong that knocks it down. Light is the tiara that sits, light is the fascinator that sits atop my dome.

Are these all Baldwin quotes? These are all, this is all James Baldwin. These are actually all corrupt. Those are corrupt. Heavy is the dong. Yeah. Heavy is the dong. Little S.G. with the biggest dick.

Yep. Time for me to put something up for the bidding? I think? Yeah. So for a number of days to So flying on Thursday Saturday two nights three days two nights. What are we talking? Explain two days two nights. Yeah, why are Friday leave on Sunday? Yeah leave on Sunday $15 This is this is like I'll do 20. 21. 22. 30. 30!

What the fuck are you doing? 30! 30! 31. 32. Why is 31 not crazy but me saying 30 is crazy? Because you jump it when it doesn't need to jump. Because I'm nuts dude.

What's the longest anyone here's been to Vegas for? A comedy weekend. Oh, just when I was working there. Just working. Like seven days. Five days. Three days, yeah. Three days, two nights.

I've never stayed more than two nights. Did we, unless we did, I've only been there a handful of times. I'm all about one or two. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. One is even cool, I did it one time I Bernie Mac did Same day what's that flew in flat? I so I I went I went there to visit some friends

Had a job interview here wore pants with an airbrush picture of yourself on that you weren't scared of This is sir put on your seatbelt. I said, y'all don't understand. I said, y'all don't understand. When I scared him over, I didn't scare you motherfuckers. One of the pilots wants it. I'm on low, I'm big-boned. Sir, we need you to stop yelling for Kid Capri.

We need you to stop yelling for Kid Capri. We need you to stop yelling for Kid Capri. He's on the flight, he's asked you to leave him alone. He's on the flight. He's asked you to leave him alone. No, I was in Vegas with some friends. I flew here, had a job interview, got the job, flew back to Vegas, went home the next morning. Oh! Awesome.

Oh, that's awesome. That's great. Yeah, didn't get laid. 33. Well, that's all right. 34. You made love to... Flying in the morning and getting like like a Semi-solid buzz on the plane and just getting and having a whole day and night Know when you're gonna be like flying back the next day the next you know what it's like you get it get it while it's hot I was just talking about this we so for the bachelor party we I went down there five flew back

We, so for the bachelor party, we, I went down there. 35. Flew back. Did it. 36 dollars. I understand the bidding because two days in Vegas is undefeated. It's undefeated. It's the, it's the no, there's no,

there's almost no argument there. It's the gold standard. There's, I could stand on one day, one night. It's still not as good. No. You gotta leave before the devil knows you're there. That's right. Yeah, yeah, you gotta get out. You gotta get out

Yeah, and three is like three days when you 41 three days is when you start to realize You know, he was either fucked up it is what you're doing. Oh, yeah. Yeah You start seriously thinking about your all of us are sitting here like I don't want three days I don't the other options. It's crazy options other than this There yeah, 42 43 45 Wow $50 Isaac

Wow $51 Can't believe it spicy. I can't believe I knew this was gonna happen I knew it we're all settling down 10 years ago. I'd have been like, what do you it's that is that is our thing man Every time I've been with you soon as someone said like listed number of days. I'm like why it's no it's gonna be too Yeah, this is gonna be too. This is really an early out. Oh The next early this is why I said like I need to be in my bed at my home, AC on, windows closed, by noon. I need breakfast that I got in the city I'm from.

Oh yeah. In my stomach. You know what I mean? I have one in Vegas and then I have another one. A second breakfast. Second breakfast. Breakfast burrito ordered from the car. On the way there. Yeah, 100%.

100%. Who did 51, was that David? Yep. 52? 55. Gotcha, dude. 100%. Who did 51, was that David? Yep. 52? 55. Gotcha, dude. You're out of the game, bro. Jesus. 55!

It was too rich for my blood, like 30. I thought about going after it, I was like, no. Because I think I can build, you know, I can build a team around this pretty good. Yeah, it's a, of all the things in here, I feel like that's the LeBron. Mm-hmm. Tell you what's gonna be tough is whoever gets that fourth pick. Yeah, it's a of all the things in here. I feel like that's the LeBron. Mm-hmm

Tell you what's gonna be tough is whoever gets that fourth pick I guess that carried out a body bag 56 58 Wow, I couldn't no I can't be there for four days Seems crazy unless there's four different weddings. 59. 60. Oh, no! What's it like?

Are you doing the liquid IV every time? Whatever, not liquid IV. Nothing's gonna save you, bro. I'm probably gonna have to do an actual IV at this. Matt, I'm doing that on a day. I would like an afternoon. I've never done it. Oh, it's great.

Oh, liquid IV I'm doing like the other day. Oh, yeah, the actual. I'm talking about a banana beer. I had one of those today. Oh, I'm not doing the banana beer. I had one of those today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, not all liquid IV. I'm doing like you're talking. Yeah. Yeah Banana I had one of those I'm not doing the man of those today. Yeah, yeah various Sunday beers. Yes Yeah, Sean's got 70 cases. He's sitting on yeah, they'll send you some he's invested in liquid IV No, okay, you guys got a couple more in your eyes. They'll get lost in the mail It's what you guys do with your girl that stickers by the way. Did you put them on your thermoses? By the way, did you put them on your thermoses? Who in the godfors?

You think I have a thermos? You're trying to look at it already. You have a girl that's thicker. This is what I do. I want one. I should have said, I set these on grateful dickheads a couple. I'm sure they didn't go anywhere. Oh, what you write on yours, you wrote something.

Oh, you should put these on your nipples. Dude, he has a son and he hasn't met any of his children. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're all out there. Could be, girl. They're not running loose. Yeah, I got girl that stickers. I'll send you some.

Okay. I'm 60 You're 60 You're gonna do it nuts. You're gonna do it or you lame, dude. I'm probably lame You have more money than me coward. Do you know the Blazers might draft somebody whose last name is coward 61 you got a good job 62 I was like teetering on the edge for a second. I ain't going anymore Come on, I'm gonna draft a guy with a latin name or a girl with a last name coward Wow Yeah, put it on women oh Wait, there's no man with the last name coward

Jezebel coward I don't know if I can be involved in this much more money than that, but that sucks 63 64 Cutting out the ability to make a strong team with the rest of it. You don't know what I'm doing. I rarely do. You're right. Everything else has... 65. 66. Whoa, dude. Damn. Damn.

I gotta be... I feel like I'm in Vegas. I should almost go to the bathroom. This is nuts. Okay. I should almost go to the bathroom. I should almost sit right here and go to the bathroom. 67.

68. Final offer. Okay. Wow. Oh, 69. Yeah, I was gonna say Maxine's birthday. 70. All right, all right, all right. She's a rice, yeah.

All right, take it down, take it down, take it down. I'm out. I can't. Wow. I can't. Holy buckets. It's the most important thing to define your Vegas trip. Okay, well me, Phyrra.

It's literally, literally, because there's one under me. Feel short to me. Wait, who put it up? Liar. Did you put it up? You're a liar and a fat mouth. Jesus. I'm not sure if you're short to me. Wait, who put it up? Liar. You're a liar and a fat mouth. And a ne'er do well and a

god damn scallywag. You're a cad! Gentlemen, some decorum! Don't you have scurvy? Yeah, I have scurvy. You're a shitted that out. You're a knocker-upper and you're a buster-downer! You and your skylarking and your shenanigans and your chicanery.

Guilty on all counts. Nevertheless. You're a prick. You're an old-fashioned goddamn prick. You know what? You're a cunt. Wow, I was thinking that. I didn't think you were gonna do that. I haven't heard that one in a while. That's an old-fashioned one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The old C-word.

Carnegie. Carnegie. Yeah. That's how they pronounced it. You feel better because you did that? Yeah. Andrew. Andrew.

Andy Carnegie. And it's Cunt-naggy. Cunt-naggy. I don't like where this is going. Who put two days up? Ian. It was me. Oh, okay.

Matt Perongerton, for you to put something up for the bidding. Okay, I'm gonna do a game, and I'm gonna do craps for 10 bucks. Ooh, that's a good one. Craps to me is the ultimate game in Vegas. My wife is good at it, she knows what she's doing, I just bet the line. Every once in a while I'll be like, put my money on the giraffe. They're like, there isn't one. I'm like, 12, whatever, you know?

Yeah. I'm so hammered. But the thing I love about craps is the more you win, the more everybody wins and you're everybody's hero. And then the minute you roll bad, you're forgotten in a cool way. Yeah. Yeah. You just move the dice on and everyone's like, hey, hey, good run, man. Yeah. Good run. You know, every movie trailer ever traps us in the trailer.

People use this term a lot, and it means less and less as time goes on, but craps really is catching a vibe. Yeah, it is. Yes, it is. It really is catching a vibe. It's hard to get any seat at a rail spot at any craps game in Vegas because it's so popular, and that's why they keep pricing it higher and higher.

Like, my wife never wants to leave the Strip. I like downtown, but she never wants to go but I'm always like I mean, we're gonna be paying In the new Nasty downtown. Yeah, it's fun. I hit the big F. I hop into a liquor store I get a styrofoam cup in a bottle. Yeah, we where the night goes. The Plaza, which is the end of Fremont, they just redid it. I played it two years ago, and they have this room that was like, the first person to play it

was Sammy Davis Jr. The room is sick, and you do one show a night, which is crazy for me. Well, you were out front doing Led Zeppelin covers with a speaker, right? That's right, yeah. You were dressed like a centaur. They don't know you played it. I was handing out these cards with they don't know you I don't know I was handing out these

cards with pretty ladies on them I don't know dress like Beetlejuice yes exactly that's how I dress though dude that's my vibe it's literally the Plaza is is is Biff's casino from guys are rum rum rum yeah yeah it's like a replica of that? No, no. Oh, OK. It's so nice. It looks like it's, but it has Oscar's Steakhouse in it, which is that the mob lawyer turned mayor.

And it's that where, in Casino, where he proposes with that big glass ceiling. Like, you gotta go get a martini in there. If you're downtown. It's great. Their martini is there if you're downtown it's great their martini is outstanding. So where she's like what are you pitching me here Sam? Yes. When you see the night sky and you see the strip. Should we now change wildcard to what we're drinking? No. I like it. I like that a lot. I think it's yeah. I have something I want to get changed. I'm just gonna feel so shit baggy when I say what I'm drinking but that a lot. I think it's yeah What I'm drinking but that's fun

Dude the great thing about Vegas is you can go as high or as goddamn lowbrow as you want Ripped open a box of Francia. That's what I'm saying You're standing next to the McDonald's and circus circus with a half a thing of Bud Light. Yeah open Oh, yeah, nobody cares. Nobody cares. I remember the first ad money We ever got that you in comes out and gives us our ad money And I wanted to I wanted to spend it I mean it had been in my hands for half an hour and I wanted to drop it on everyone else you had a whalebone In your hand when we got nice So is it crafts for ten dollars crafts for ten bucks cash for ten

I've never been more jealous you get it Nice. So is it... Craps for $10. Craps for $10. Craps for $10. I've never been more jealous, you get it, yeah, but then when I've walked by a craps table that was popping and being like, I wish I could be a part of their world. Here's the other thing that I learned from Kara. Ask how to play. They'll show you as it's moving. Really? They'll go, just bet the line right now.

And then you bet the line. And then if someone's winning, you back up your bet. Another two chips behind those two chips. I've played four chips over and over and over and over, and consistently won. But you know what I have noticed at craps? A lot of haters. A lot of times you'll come on craps,

and there'll be one dude, like every, it's a community, and then you get the dice, and then one dude looks at you, and then pulls it. And you're like, you fucking, you piece of shit. Yeah, what do you think? You piece of shit. I'm cheating, you piece of shit. Watch me run it up. I don't. Right?

I don't, I don't. You write all this down in your journal while you're right there. But the next time. But the next time. What I did later on that night. When he leaves, I'd be back. I'd be back.

I'd be back. I saw a rich guy get hauled off so fast because there's no spot at the rail and he's like, come on, I'm okay. And he just takes out a knot and throws it on the table, like his money just bounced, and they're like, sir, and then these security guys are like, whoof. You're like, that's too fast.

You threw him out the door. Snap him out of his fingers one by one. Because I do like that. Yeah. I mean, yeah, but it's funny, I was just like, what do you mean, no room? There's always room for me, I'm a rich old white man. There's no room at the inn.

No room at the end, bro. True boy? True boy. Days, one day. Okay. One dollar. I'll do five dollars. This is getting there Friday leaving Saturday, for example.

Sure. I'm thinking, I would get there Saturday. I'm thinking Saturday, Sunday. That's what I thought. That's too short. That's too short. It is. But it's better than three. You're what I thought. That's too short. That's too short. It is. But it's better than three. You're talking like a guy who has two days.

Six dollars. Yeah, I know. The rest is putting me into renal failure. Six, yes. Nine dollars? I'll do 10. 15. 17. What a dumb number, 18.

19. Don't you? Don't you? I'm only bidding dumb numbers for $2. 26. Wow. You said 26? Yeah, for $2. 26. Wow. You said 26? Yeah, that's a dumb number. 33.

That's a fun number. Well, that's a fun number. Yeah. 33. A funber. 40 dollars. He did it! You would have gotten Martin out if I didn't.

41. I'll save you. You're doing 41? Yeah. 41 dollars for one day. 41 and you should have tried to get tube, right? I'll save you. You're doing 41? Yeah. $41 for one day? 41 and you should have got, tried to get two, right?

Yeah. Why, I did try to get two. Went up to 70 if you don't notice. Anyway, 41, let's call it. Okay. Okay. Oh shit, never works. I'm worried about where this is going for me.

That's what I'm saying. That's a tough. That's what I'm saying. That's the that's a tough That's what I'm saying you two are whoever bottoms out on that. That's real tough. I'm having a hard time Did I get it for 41 bucks for this cuz I said I got it. Oh for this. Yeah, I didn't I I I announced that I was out tight. You've announced about I'm trying to run David time for you to put something over the building Time to get nasty. Oh Baccarat for one dollar Are you do all you gotta do is get nine? I thought you're gonna

Bet on player or banker. That's what cuz you notice they have like the whole board Oh, yeah, it's basically you want to get the closest to nine three cards face cards or zero you want to get the closest to nine three cards, face cards are zero. The closest to nine. And it's the easiest game, the odds reset every single time. It's almost like they have the board to throw you off. I used to work at Baccarat Table, you know that.

I know this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause it has such a classy name, I assumed it was like complicated, but it really is just like dumb guy math. It's 50-50. Is it, is Burt Baccarat, it's the same word? Spell differently.

No. Same sound? His name ends with a H, right? Yeah, Baccarat. Like Baccarat or whatever. So what does this end with? B-A-C-C-A-R-A-T. Did you know how to spell that?

Yeah. Jesus. You say it, Baccarat. His real name is Baccarat. So it ends with a T. The game ends Bac-a-rat. Bac-a-rat. Bac-a-rat. Yeah, buck-a-rat.

I never knew that. I always thought when I saw him in Oscar Powers, I thought he was like, co-opted that last name as a Vegas performer. Like, this is my last name. That's funny. It's one of those things, I only know it because I worked at the casino,

but I feel like the display really throws people off and It makes people like scared to play it, but it's like you do you play I played it before yeah It's clear. It's like one of the it's easier than blackjack very simple you just pick a hand They're just a player dealer. Okay. There are three popular variants of the game Punto Banco Baccarat the shaming de, and Baccarat Banquet. I want to play... What's it... Was it Pun-Tang Bongo?

Pun-Tang Bongo. Pontoon Tang. Pontoon Tang. Pontoon Tang Bongo. Pontoon Tang Bongo. I saw that movie for Jimmy Buffett. Pontoon... Pontoon Tang.

It would be an amazing Jimmy Buffett cover band. Incredible beach jam band. Should we just stop comedy? Twist it away again in Fingerbangerville. Fingerbangerville? I stopped comedy a while ago, so yeah. Still better than Margaritaville. That song's terrible.

Yeah. What'd you just call it? Finger-banging of Paradise? All the songs are about finger-banging. I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know who I'mma finger-bang when the volcano blows. It's all in play for us. Our future's just laid out ahead of us and all we have to do is remember. If you like finger, stop blasting. That's Rupert Holmes.

We can still play it. I forget that that is not... Thematically, he's correct. If we're doing a festival situation... I'm trying to catch a vibe. You can play it. It's in the play. Also, the back right for a dollar.

Yeah, back right for a dollar. Nice. I knew I could do that. I think it's worth a bid, but since I don't do it, I'm just going to end it. If we all go to Vegas together, which I assume we probably will just how life goes, let's get in on back. I would love to.

It's so fun. You show me how. It's not just very simple. If all the roulette wheels are shut down, then I will go to the back right table with you. It's easier than any other game that got picked. I will go. I was trying to get you. It's the best game to play when you shut down, then I will go to the back-rata table. It's easier than any other game that got picked. I will go. I was trying to.

It's the best game to play when you're wasted because you don't have to think. Exactly. You have my attention. Like that. Now I'm back in. That's what it's for. It's just for degenerate gamblers.

Cool. Hit us up in the comments if you would go to an All Fantasy Everything show in Las Vegas. We were close a month ago or whatever. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a different situation. That was a diffity sitch. If you would go to Vegas now.

But nobody liked or smashed, and so we didn't. Smash and like, and then hit us up in the comments. But also, if we do Vegas, can we throw a pool party? Yes. But it would probably have to be in a smaller pool. Are we picking up podcasts? No, it's gonna have to be off strip in a hotel. I don't think we can throw a Vegas pool party in.

Come to the hotel party in Spikes? Wait, this theater's in Barstow. Yeah, dude. The best Western Barstow could throw a pool party. I'll tell you that. Where the kings lay. Barstow. Where the kings lay.

What the Barstow is. The Barstow will in Barstow. Dave, what a background. Time for me. All right. All right. Oh, you only back wrap. Time for me. All right. All right. Oh, you only got one thing. Yeah. That's stupid.

I mean, I only got two and I'm not. Under... Good strategy to wait until everyone else has their- Show. One filled, no, I've never thought about that. Yeah, it's like it's the 30th auction draft we've done. I know, but I've never thought of that. Under show, I'm going to do touring musician

doing a big concert in Las Vegas. Okay. Hold on, so not like a residency? I feel like you have to get specific. I don't know if I do. I don't, I mean, everybody... Do we need genre? I'm not talking about residency.

I'm not talking residency. You're talking like Kanye or Jay-Z. I'm talking about like the way we saw... Like what we did. Oh, you're not talking residency. No, I'm not talking about residency. They're just there to do a show. Okay, I think that's fair.

But we are in Vegas for that because Both those to bring it up again Jay-Z and Kanye like yeah those shows specifically yeah They get more like like T-Mobile I probably would be showing my hand here, but I was gonna say something similar But I was gonna say like a legacy band Which is like they like talk about the acts that came out when I was a kid or my parents But they're probably there on tour that's it what depends it right now which is like, talk about the acts that came out when I was a kid or my parents were young. But if they're on tour, that's, well it depends. It's right there.

Yeah. If they're like, Let's say that would be, that could also be Bruno Mars. Tour is very different than a residency. No, Bruno's a residency. That's a residency. He's got a residency. That's a residency.

My man's gonna pay that, my man's gonna pay that shit off. Dolly Parton is playing Vegas this December. So that was it. Oh, she's doing one day? Or is she doing like five? She's doing like five. That's not a residency. No, it is So I'm talking touring okay opening bid is one dollar I'll do five Because I think mine still fits into your category six. I'll do ten

eleven Thirteen 13. Okay, okay. Just letting the gluten boys battle it out here. Keep in mind this isn't Musso and Frank, this is just Musso. Musso? What? Have you seen touring Musso?

You can have it for 13. Okay. Wow. It pulls a Frank out of the crowd every time but it's not the same. Dude, I've seen Diana Ross, Babyface, Earth, Wind & Fire. Yeah. They're like, it's all the hits.

Like at the same time? They tell funny stories. No, no, three different shows. OK. And it's like the whole thing's an hour and a half, and you're done, back out and gambling and drinking. Can I tell you something? That's awesome.

Your man opened for Babyface one time. You did? I didn't get to meet him. It's a sore subject. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, it sucked, man. It was at a casino, too. I had my own to meet him, it's a sore subject. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, it sucked, man. It was at a casino, too. I had my own separate dressing room,

and then I had to go up, and then they said, you're gonna go up and do 15, and then you're gonna tell the crowd to wait, and then Babyface is gonna come up for 20 minutes later. Whoa, you don't even get to meet him. Do you know? And the wait was longer than the amount of time I did. Right, that's how, yeah. So really, the pause opened for him. Yeah. Do you know and the wait was longer than the amount of time I did right? That's all yeah

So really that the paws opened for him Dollars to open for the pot yeah Matt Dwyer used to open at least the boss with their ACS In Vegas only because our friend wire was we're working a CAA and so on wire was with them at the time And he would open for It's all these old people and he just do his filthiest weirdest shit You know like was it like uh? Like my girlfriend thinks my fuck face is disturbing just saying shit like that. Yeah I lost my virginity in the back of a Korean liquor store woman gathered around and place bets

Shit like that and like and and and then he'd get off and then he would come out and be like such a funny man Didn't see any of it That was not my strategy for nap towns finest Kenneth babyface That was not my strategy for Nap Town's finest Kenneth Babyface admin. No. I can't see. I can't see. It's too bad you didn't meet him.

You know he's from Indianapolis. Is he? I didn't know that. Well, too bad for the Pacers. Sorry, baby. Sorry, Babyface. Sorry, Babyface. I think he likes to go by Kenneth.

Making Babyface gaily. He had a funny one. Tom Babyface the car. Babyface was funny in Vegas, where he was just like a little girl around him, too, was like, oh, babyface, are you babyface? He's like, oh, yeah, babygirl. And she goes, mom, my great, great grandmother loves you so much. Like, aw.

Aw. He said, I only think of that bitch on two occasions. It's day and night. That's the deal. That's my first band, the deal. That's all I care about. Is it me? That bitch on two occasions. It's Matt. It's time for Matt to put something up.

So cold-blooded. Okay, are we doing drinks for Wild Card? I think we decided just to do anything. You can put your drink. Yes. We haven't done it. Didn't do it the last time, but for years now, our first drink has been the salt foam margaritas at Cina Pablano in the Cosmo. There's a window. You go up there and you get a plastic,

they make this margarita, and instead of salt on the rim, it has a big dollop of salt air foam. So every time you sip it, it tastes salty. And we just walk the fucking strip and plan the day. Salt foam marks, I'm telling you, Chino poblano, go. And it's like early enough in the day where you're like having a nice drink matters.

Yeah, it's like the afternoon. You have to build a classy buzz in Vegas. Otherwise it will ruin your time Yeah, you can't can't go too hard with the long shit Oh, I look right at me would this be considered drink it like if I want my wild card to be drinking in Las Vegas I think we should call this one a signature Beverage, okay as a is in terms of making it competitive. We're adding another no, I think that's Like I do like that because... Because it's nice to have like a beverage...

I feel like a lot of times when I go to Vegas, we have a beverage of the weekend. Yeah. Oh, yeah, cool. It's like, oh, it's this weekend, we're doing the Bloody Marys with cheeseburgers in them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that I get that for sure. All I talked about was getting a whalebone

the time we went down there. And then you did. What is a whalebone? time we went down there. I got a whalebone the second I walked in. What is a whalebone? Then you tried to put some Jim Beam in it. Oh, that's funny. Alcohol. But that's, I mean, it's any one of those final drinks. You hadn't even fucking finished it yet

and you were pouring other liquors into it. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Yeah. I had a football full of daiquiri once. It was fun. And I was like, I can't, if I finish finish this I will throw it. I know I'll just You know some guy like I'll yell go long Tear their MCL

Manuscus So I'll say I'll say five bucks. All right, six. 10. 15. That's a good one. 20. I only have $49? I'll go 22. Man, I've been lighting this money on fire, huh?

25. Ah, I think I'm on it, 30. Do you, where you at? Oh, you got 72, Daddy Fat Stacks over here. More than you. 31. 33. You where you at? Oh, you got 72 daddy fat stacks over here. They knew 31 33 Cool number

Earlier you called 17 was a stupid number. That's my favorite number. So it's a lucky number Yeah, mine's four Yeah, mine's four Mine's 69 and just so happens to coincide with my daughter's birthday But it was my favorite number long before that Wow cuz he likes that was blowing some yeah Wasn't a rip well they're blowing him sometimes Genuine neutral blowing yeah double blow. Speaking of dumb numbers, 37. Wow, that is a good number. I'll go 40.

Wow. Yeah. That would leave me with a gentleman's $8 if I did one more dollar. Can't do it, you gotta take it down. I can't do it. All right. Signature beverage is the Mabarong for $40.

Now, if you're only listening and not watching, thus cannot see the betting screen, I have $74 left and I have Blackjack for 26. David has $29 left and he has Baccarat for game and two as the number of days spent in Vegas. Sean has $49 left, has Roulette for game and one for the amount of days in Vegas. Matt has 32 left and he has fancy restaurant at the bar

under restaurant, craps under game, touring musician in Vegas for one night or a couple nights for show and under wildcard he has signature beverage for $40 and we continue. Put a good list together. Sean, Sean, yeah you're right. I mean he's got a full list. I think it's also what it is.

Sean Jordan. All right, I'm gonna go restaurant and I'm gonna say room service. Can I do that? Oh. I think that counts. I would allow it. I would think it's a wild card.

I think he can because I think a lot of people, Vegas is the only place that they do that. Yeah. I agree. That's true. Okay. It works. Play ball, Mr. Jordan. Right, I want they do that. Yeah. I agree. That's true. Okay. It works. Play ball, Mr. Jordan.

Right, I want it for free. Okay. I fucking stick up for you, bro. I know you did. I know. I'm with my friends. Zero dollars. Seven.

Seven dumb little dollars. I sing that to Maxine every day. Seven dumb little dollars walked into the store. They walked out like stupid looking gatorades. Eight. Really? Eight dumb little dollars. 12.

A burger, a room service burger. Ooh, yeah. My problem. That shit's right on time too. My problem with room service is if you don't do it right, you might not leave your room. You know what I mean? Yeah.

What do you mean? You might accidentally spend the whole night. You mean if you do it too well. I've lost an entire night in Vegas where I'm like, I ate. I had some, like, I drank earlier. Yeah. I ate, always with the plan of going back out. Right. But I got room service, I ate too much,

and I'm like, I'm not leaving. Close the blinds. My favorite, oh sorry. No, no, no, go ahead. Oh, my favorite is going out Vegas hard, going back to the room with my wife, and then getting something stupid, room service, to eat together on the bed like savages.

And watching like Dateline or something shitty. Like just whatever's on at like midnight or one in the morning just being like, ugh. Just shoving a pizza in my mouth. Oh, that's the best. Soak up the night. Did you hear about Rainbow Parties? You said soak up the night?

I did. Yeah, I did. One of my favorite comedy specials. Thank you, buddy. Thanks, buddy. I'm taking Shovel Fighter. 13? You're not?

You're not? His show shut down. Thank you, buddy. Thanks, bro. I'm taking shovel fighter. $13? $13? His show shut down. He was killed. Shovel fighter didn't make it long in Vegas. After the mob left. $13. $15. $16.

$17. Sean is bidding against himself. These have become auction bids. Uh, 16. What? I want it to work every time. Let's start again at five. You know, even if you do get me, it doesn't count.

It does count. You're Oz in this situation. They're not doing it. Oh, shit. He is a great and powerful Oz. I'm the Wizard of Oz. Oz Wacawbalpot. No. Fucking Penguin. What? I don't know, dude. No, that's getting weird. Shit, I hate powerful. I was there to us. I was walk all the pot no

fucking penguin Nobody's mad at you alright 20 bucks. Thanks for letting me have it for 20. That was nice. I don't know if I did I Don't know if I did I don't know if I did 21 Savage Case anyone's never got it. That's 20 21 Savage and that wait a minute thing is from the song lemon it is my nerd wait a minute 22 It's the caliber of gun that my stepdad used to that you will pull on me if I don't Where it disappeared we moved it. Yeah, you can take a 22 to the chest. Yeah, we think 22 the dome I've heard we

Won't exit your skull bounce around in there that's what they that's the problem That's why hit guys use up close on the 22 my banger in your skull I don't know why I know that my friend in high school his dad got shot by 22 and he said the same thing But in the body, oh, it like bounced around. Oh. Because we were talking about the same thing when we were in high school. And we were like, you didn't get shot with a.22. And his dad was like, fuck me up. Yeah.

I was like, Minnesota seems like a bad idea. And that's when you decided not to get shot with a.22. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's put it aside. I thought you guys were joking. That's a thing? Mm-hmm. They have a little, it's a small caliber.

It's like the bullet's about that big. It's like so little that it'll fuck you up. Yeah. Doesn't leave. If you get close enough to get it through someone's skull, that's a wrap. It'll just bounce around and mush everything. Kind of like when I freestyled.

We'll be right back. You know, like me and a cipher. It'll bounce around your head until you ain't right, bro. Oh, my goodness. Can I go pee? Yeah, I spit hot fire. I appreciate the break, by the way. Yeah, let's take a break.

I'm going to go pee real quick. It's like an actual break. Wait, we're going in the middle of the bidding bidding you don't yeah, you don't finish. Oh, yeah We're taking a look. Let's we're not break. It's in the middle of it. Yeah, finish it. Yeah, let's finish the walk, okay? Who has 22 oh, yeah, I look it up. I'm sorry. No you didn't and we're back and we're back Take it for Now we're back. Take it for 22. Alright, can we go to break? Now we're going to break. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything already in progress.

Sean's excited that room service worked out. He was telling David. Didn't mean to cut you off. It's the kind of shit we talk about when we're not hearing. That's right. You guys want to know what's going on behind the scenes. We're just dudes, man. We're not when we're not hearing you know The scene we're just dudes man, I mean we're just talking a lot of people think we're the AFB boys We're just guys. We're just guys ultimately just they're just like you and me. Yes We're fucking talking about flying Delta one. Yeah, yeah everybody

It was going right for my eye, dude. Let's see the replay. What if we caught that? We'd have to put it out. What, if you caught that in your eye? Yeah. Yeah. We'd have to put it out.

Just for the clicks. Just for the clicks. That's what I live for now. Like and smash. Push that sub button. Room service was put up by Sean. David, time for you to introduce something for the billing.

OK. I am going to take this is I don't think you guys are gonna like this I'm taking restaurant this is at this point this is Vegas is kind of the only place I do this I wait till if I'm in Vegas over one night I will wait till I'm blotto and I will stumble into that White Castle off the strip. That's just fine Yeah, White Castle specific white now Should we make this like fast food sounded like you were gonna say? Are you doing like a super troopers thing

It's like are you doing like a super troopers thing? Now I am well you were gonna say should we now make this but you said snow And then I like to go to white yeah, I've never been to a White Castle. Should I cut you off? Should we make? You've never been to a White Castle? No. That's good. Well, next time we go to Vegas. It's like eating greasy clouds and delicious. Yeah, it's not good sober.

It sucks. We're gonna make this fast food for the competition. But we know for you it's White Castle. Okay, fast food. Yeah. Cause it hits different in Vegas. Yeah it does. Because it's like a lot of times it's like,

fast food when you're dressed nicer than you're ever going to be dressed wearing fast food. Yep, yep. The post-Emmys in and out is fun for that reason, because you're like, I'm on a tuxedo. You know? Like, this isn't fast food. Let me crush some.

Yeah, yeah. It's classy. And fast food, the more I think about it, the more I think about it, it's like, it's the same general feeling. You should have one trash food in Vegas. Yeah, you're a trip there, yeah. Because you're like, when you get so drunk

and whether that's, should we call trash food as opposed to fast food? Because internet doesn't quite fit. But that dollar slice place that's open 24 seven is trash food. Maybe that's fast food too though. Maybe that's a fast food. I think fast food is fair. Isaac, commit to the jacket or don't. 247 yeah is Commit to the jacket or don't

Let us see that he's wearing a racing jacket I'm dressed like too fast too furious you ever driving around your car only wearing that No, but I should. Like no bottoms? Like nothing. No shirt. You make moves that I'm so jealous of sometimes. I'm like, I couldn't do that, but you look, you genuinely look, no. You could, but you'd be clown on. I would look so, the rest of me's the same, but I'm wearing it.

Ian, I'm with you, you can't wear a racing jacket. Cannot wear a racing jacket. I love you, I think you're awesome. Thank you very much. Isaac, you have to cut to yourself real quick, just so people know what we're talking about. You do have to let them see. If you just showed up like that and didn't bring it up one day, oh my god.

We would all bring it up. And be like, yeah, let's record real quick. It would be the first thing we said. Honda racing? I just walk right in and start. Honda racing. Welcome. Welcome.

Hey Ian, that jacket. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. That jacket's a little... Welcome, I said. Welcome to we're here and live in person. Our Broncos here. That jacket's wild. This could probably fit you, by the way, if you want to try it on. Put it on. Put it on. I'm gonna see everything welcome welcome here and live in person This could probably fit you by the way if you want to try it on put it on put it on put it on

It's a large it's it's big on me. I'm loaded right now. This is awesome This is crazy that this is happening. How do you feel bronger? I'm excited. I'm alive Can I take a picture of you and send it to you? Yeah, cuz I don't know You actually look amazing I'm going look pretty. You look like that. I'm going to alert you to the owner of that Ferrari F1 team. Yeah. You are not going to, you're not going to, hold on. I need to get like a better.

This is crazy. It says Worldwide on the back. Lean back. Lean back and close the front a little bit. Look sexy, you know what I'm saying? I'm trying, I'm trying. Look at my head. Okay, in your head, think about the movie Romeo Must Die.

Oh, be gently. There we go. There we go. All right, I'm going to text. I'm not going to send it to anybody else. Send it to a few people. Welcome back to All Fantasy. Do that airdrop thing.

I'm going to send this to Wendy O'Brien Casting. There you go. I don't know. That's a real inside. I can do it. I know it quite well. How does it feel? You feel? I feel like I'm wearing a jacket that

Maybe he's putting some stuff out that I can't last time we texted was when I butt dialed you the other day But if you spill mustard on this mustard just comes up it wicks right off Not like your normal cashmere jacket that you were did you get that check that out? I? Really want you to see it. Oh Check that out. I really want you to see it Looks good. All right So we're all getting NASCAR we're all wearing NASCAR jackets, I want that Viagra one. Yeah, that's a good one. I want the Snickers one. I want Laughing Clown.

Laughing Clown. Mallmaker. Mallmaker. The fast food, OK. Fast food. And the bid? $1. $5.

You can have it. But it's not. Put it in wild card Taking a wild card I'm still okay with that Is that a cockpit what's it called when you're driving the car not the cockpit cockpit I call the cockpit When you're driving the car not the cockpit I call the cockpit He just started calling the shit or the pit stop too fast to food For number of days. Mm-hmm. Three. You just got 68. One dollar.

Bronner, this is you to take him to task. Yeah, I'll do... I'll do five bucks. Six. Ian has the funniest amount of money left. How do you push him on? Ten. Eleven.

Fifteen. Sixteen. Take him to the top. Twenty. Twenty-one. I'll put it in Wild Card if I get it. You... You...

You... You... You... You... You... Oh, 16 to the top mmm 20 21 I'll put it in wild card if I get Put your arm around me I like you can join the race you got your knees dude, I like it I'll do I'll do 23 $24 25 can you take him? Damn this completes this completes the cycle for brawler. I love them. I love them. Have it. Yeah Yeah, I think I just gotta go 31. Oh, yeah 30 30 $32 32. Oh, yeah. Okay. Sorry you can't it's not I know I can't put it on her days Put on her days. Put it under days. Put it under days. Put it under days. Put it under days.

Three. So you get there, you know, Friday. Thursday. Thursday night. Thursday night. That's the way to do it. Friday, Saturday, you leave Sunday. That's pretty good.

And don't, and just be at least mildly careful Thursday night. I feel like- Wrongers fucked. Not possible though. Or no. I know all of you. Not possible for any one of you, but- No.

I know all of you. I know all of you. I know all of you. I know all of you. I know all of you. I know all of night. I feel like... Wrongers foot. Not possible, though. Or I would know. I know all of you. Not possible for any one of you, but... No! I am...

I am... I'm trying to locate who I am in this jacket. No! Maybe that's not it, but I had to try. Listen, I know you well enough. You have to find yourself. You're taking it easy on me. You have to find yourself. Maybe now.

No. Maybe now. So here's my strategy on the three days. I think day one, Ian's going to Whole Foods. I've seen him on the road lately. No, that's OK. We're going the last Friday now. We're talking now.

I go to Whole Foods. Bitch. Give it to me for free. Do you go to Whole Foods in that jacket? I don't know. I don't know if I do. I think he drives for Whole Foods. I drive for Whole Foods. Yeah, he goes to Whole Foods. Oh, like the sponsored team? Yeah. He drives to Whole Foods in that jacket? I don't know. I don't know if I do. I think he drives for Whole Foods.

I drive for Whole Foods. Oh, like the sponsored team? It's like an eco-friendly, it runs on Vexaboy. We call it the grocery cart. He's got like, Khalifa, Almond Mills. He walks in and he's like, excuse me, is Daytona around here? I cannot find it. Ah, as I cut that out. That wasn't good. It was bad.

I'm leaving it in. Leave it in? Yeah. It's like, fuck you. That's where I stayed out with my That was more of a poke a no NASCAR all right all right, so where we at so for three days one of those mornings. I'm doing a massage I'm doing a spa you pretend you have a health day. Yeah, you pretend you do one morning

Yeah, and it's just the morning, but you you sort of buy yourself some more time And you're better than everybody else because you got up at 10. Yeah, I just went, you know what? You know what, I never do this, but I got a massage this morning. You know what happens? That's exactly what happens.

You walk in on me and Sean at fucking goddamn, what's his name, Guy Fieri's restaurant. Yep, yep. Having a goddamn Bloody Mary with a bourbon bacon. Closed pits on our eyes. We were chocolate dipped, bacon, Bloody Marys. Having a goddamn Bloody Mary with a bourbon bacon closed Dipped bacon Drinking HRD vodka out of a out of a ice penis Five in the morning the night before but now I'm all high and mighty because I know like dude the real world was here

One time it was awesome. Yeah, you guys are passed out an Earl a sandwich. No, that's exactly it. That's exactly it I go to the where's the palms? No, that's exactly it. That's exactly it. I go to the... Where's the palms? I've been out of business for a while. That's a decent run. Bronner, you had a... That's a tough beat. Yeah, it's all right. It's time for your bidding.

Okay, it's my turn? And all I can choose is days, right? Okay, so I'll tell you... You have a lot of money. I'm gonna do... Because no one's gonna bid against me, right? Because it's like one thing. You'd have to change your days wouldn't you? You can put it to wild card. I can put mine to wild card if I want to. If you wanted to. Oh I don't think anybody's I mean I see no reason to end the strap with any money. He has to pick days

Yeah, so I'll do uh, I'll do four days and I'll tell you why The first two days I'm on the strip the second two days. I'm downtown wrecking shit. Okay, I ease into it Yeah, right first two nights. I'm acting my age. I'm 50 years old. You may be going to a good restaurant Are you 50? I'm 5o you look better than you did at 40, but thanks buddy. It's a lot It is thank you. That's that's for you. Yeah, you want to try this jacket on Actually, yeah Thank you. That's that's for me. Yeah, you want to try this jacket? Honestly never felt more left out of a bit in my entire life. They'll probably fit you don't do that I think it was I don't want it's oversized. I don't want a roomy jacket I don't want the hurt that would come with it not hitting me on in here

prongers like Don't you go Yeah, yeah, that's all good that it's the collar like how it sits it sits on you, you know, yeah I feel like I'm swimming in this thing, too. It's got structure to it though. You look good You look at it with the white with the lighter Oh, it's giving me shoulders. I don't have yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fun Come racing jacket guys. I had a leather Notre Dame jacket back in the day That's a pathetic white guy thing

Notre Dame when you don't know why! This is what my dad always told me I could go to college. It reminds me of one of my favorite George Carlin bits where he's like, fighting Irish? What? He's like, that's a little bigoted. They wouldn't let you have a team called the the bargaining Jews and murdering Italians here come the murdering Italians if there were a team called the bargaining Jews bargaining Jews is a good name I would have no choice but to to stand as the kids I would have a

bargaining Jews big leather jacket for sure fighting viruses like this bargaining Jews is like this is the this is the murdering Italians Hollywood I'm not playing like this My name, I think you there's a hat that I'll get my hands on it Go on Go on. I don't know what they're going to do. Can we get a harsh zoom in on Sean Brin? Yeah.

You know, the Jewish side Brin. Okay, so I'm doing four days, five bucks. Four days, five dollars. Yeah, I'm in. Yeah. Sounds like a nice hotel. My version of this would be going to NBA Summer League, where you can go see the game, but still you invariably, you're in Vegas. It's just so many days, man.

I could do it. It's too much, but if I did, since I'm not doing five days, I'm not doing no days. I guess zero is the other lame, yeah, I didn't even think about that. What a whack option. Born again Christian, gone totally sober. No days.

What's your favorite amount of time in Las Vegas? Zero days. It could be like, get in at midnight, fly out at midnight. Well that would be the one day that's like, half. That's the one day I think. Yeah, if I was like single and childless and an absolute maniac, that'd be the one. Sleep in your own bed. That's where you're going to get a maniac.

I think about that more than I ever have, like, since I'm not flat broke anymore. Well, you can take this off the record if you want. You can make that happen. No, just sometimes walking around, I'll be like, man, if I was, like, if I had no, if I was untethered. Oh, sure. It'd be so fun sometimes.

I would go tickle that cock right now. Oh, yeah, you're gonna be in San Francisco? I'll see you there tonight. And then just go. Yeah. You know, I can't. Here's a thing you glamorize with being single is I tell my wife while I'm seething when I

Oh, God. No, I know that. The whole, like, I can't. Here's a thing you glamorize with being single is it's not bad. I tell my wife while I'm seething when I... Oh, God. No, I know. The whole, like, I spent way too, personally speaking, way too long doing the keep my options open. Yeah. I can do anything I want right now and then I'm so sad and lonely. Yeah.

I know. Yeah, you really hamstring... You get home and you're like, this is stupid. You don't want that many choices. You really want a semi-mean lady to tell you what to do with us. That's right. I always say there's freedom in this prison. Yes.

There is freedom in this prison. Absolutely. Three hots in a cot. All right, I'll tell Laura when I get home, hey, there's freedom in this prison. The one you helped me locked in, where I'm so unhappy. This is all right. I actually like it. I don't mind this at all, Sammy.

Our structure. It's saying it like I'm selling papers in the studies. Sean, time for you to put some love into this. I'm so glad we have Judy. Roxanne. So glad we are Roxanne uh Alright well, I'll go show and I will do I want to go to a big dank magic show Fuck me, I wanna go to a big dance hall. Fuck me, I wanna go to a big dance hall. Fuck me, I guess.

Fuck me, I want some big dance. Fuck me, I guess. I wanna go see Chris Angel or some fuckin' shit, dude. You wanna see a mind freak. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. 20 bucks opening bid. Abracadabra, your boy is crazy as shit.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. He snorted. Ha ha ha ha. I snorted. That's awesome. So good. Abracadabra, your boy is crazy as shit.

Twenty bucks. I snuck in a butterfly knife, dude. Twenty bucks. I'm Kaiser So-Say, motherfucker. You want to see some magic? I cut my finger off. I'm tri pulling some magicians I show the guy work

Hey What if I run up there quick enough You think you can avoid me stabbing him? See how magic Chris Angel really is Your name's Sean Jordan? I just switched dicks with you Put your hand in your pants I just switched dicks with you

I have your dick and you have mine I've never seen I always I mean I When I landed the airport, I always see that giant poster of that guy and his he's still there saying chiseled ab yeah He's still there. Just got it up. I just running it up right yeah I'm hotel for free when you do yeah, or like a lot of like a Multi-hundred millionaire no, I don't know I mean yeah, I mean well they pay What is it like if you're a big name DJ? They pay you millions of dollars? Yeah, they make more than like anyone like Blowjob there I got the reference Magic show going once for 20 yeah going twice for 20 sold to the man of my house 21

Sold for 21. Mind freak! Stupid. Now wait a minute, maybe I want to get... Okay, now, 20, 21. I'm dead serious with the 21, Michael. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. I'm a magician. Magician. Come on, what are we doing?

What are we doing on the golden couch over here? David? Come on. What are we doing? What are we doing on the gold couch over here? David? All right, this is a boys trip. I'm going to Usher. Oh We're just the fellas. I'm not going with my fucking woman. I invited myself Wait, but isn't that Torn Musician? No, that is Residence. I forgot he did. Usher for sure. Shut my mouth. A dollar. Two dollars Musician no that is Two dollars what six dollars for sure Or sure for sure sure

Let me have it for six bucks seven Stupid Wait, but you already have a show. I got a wild card. You put anything in there. Oh, I'll give it any wild card. Put anything in that bad boy. Got it. Okay. I think I get it. For $7? Residency?

Yeah, you get it for $7. I've seen Elton John in residency in Vegas. Wait, is it residency or is it Usher? It's residency. Usher falls under residency. I feel like... Oh, eight. Ten. Well, because that, you know, yeah, oh eight ten. Well cuz that you know yeah, 11 12

From the way that it was brought up I've seen Bruno Mars who I went in hated not like I went in hating his gut I said no wedding no banned Bruno Mars from being planned to my wedding Mm-hmm and went and saw the live show with my mom Sue Carmel who I go to a lot of Vegas shows with Fell in love is it was that something where you didn't like the fans? No, so I don't Recorded versions of his music could feel kind of like soulless and overly glossy Yeah And then I saw them and they're the band is so tight and he's so good and they're so

talented now I don't listen to his music on Spotify or anything like that that's not what it's no but I'm like if I would go see him in concert again and a drop of a hat he was like the stuff he's done with Anderson Park I really enjoyed yes that's awesome yes so Sonic amazing. Yeah. Yeah I think he needs Anderson pock to like yes, he does grand him a little bit. Yep But yeah, loved it. I see Elton John like bunch of residents. It's on you. It's on me Oh for restaurant who brought wait who brought up I did. Oh you did. Okay I'm gonna go with buffet That's a good one

Las Vegas buffet and I'm gonna go with buffet That's a good one Las Vegas buffet and I'm gonna bid $25 I would say though. I will I will say a copy. Yeah, buffet lunch not dinner or Bored why Jack we did because it was because you because you'll crater your evening. Yeah We did breakfast and it was icy. Because you'll crater your evening. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna sink your ship. You eat so much. For me, for restaurant, like, oh, you probably,

I don't wanna say what it is, but you're probably gonna bid on it, but like, yeah. I'm talking breakfast, brunch, all that stuff. You can still fill up on crab legs at lunch. Yes, yep. But. No, it was, we went, I've only been to one Vegas buffet, it was breakfast, and perfect. You still fill up on crab legs. Yes. Yep. But. No, it was, we went, I've only been to one Vegas buffet.

It was breakfast. And perfect. The move. Yeah, I've been to a breakfast one. Chilled me out. I had some 6am drinks. Chilled me out. There you go.

Like on the flight. And called me down to like 1, 2. Great. Perfection. Then I don't think I ate the rest of the day. Silly me. My turn? That's what you do with like English breakfast.

Your turn. No, it should be Sean. Oh Sean Sean What does he have open? Oh, he has wild card. Oh, I you know Even Danker magic Even bigger even jacking off Six dollars the end of the night futility that is a late night drunk jacking. Are you just trying to feel something again? I haven't thought she liked me.

Your receptors have been blown since noon? You're like, does this still work? Trying to get back to me. I haven't gotten drunk in years and years and years. I haven't masturb masturbator drunk. Okay. Cool. Cool, right? Yeah.

It was fun for you to be that serious. All right, for the wild card, walking around with an open container. Yeah, that's good. That's sexology. That's hitting. That's great. For sure.

Yeah, so I guess David, if you want it, go ahead and take it. I don't. Thank you for letting me have it. I appreciate it. It's just crazy. We went into a CVS with open, I'm pretty sure, lit cigarettes.

Yeah. You could refill your blood pressure medication with like an open bottle of tequila. Insane to me. I was not ready for that. So yeah, it's very, it's interesting to say the least. Honestly, like, if Kara's like on a run for crafts, I'm like, eh, I just want to walk around. I'll just go to like the little mini-mart in the casino

and just get a tall beer It's great and just walk around It's great $1 sushi What? One dollar I was you get the orders. Yeah, so can I do strip club? Yes strip club shit. It's all oh and

Wildcard I cannot believe I got it motherfucking cocaine You got that Vegas cocaine for a dollar We can't be putting that on wax. That's crazy. We all have cocaine on here. Yeah, of course you thought about cocaine. David and I do not have children.

No, no, I'm saying the people who didn't say cocaine for a dollar. I feel like David put down the proverbial royal flush right there. Yeah, he really did. It's really crazy. I thought we meant cocaine when we said fast food Always caught I've always called blow dank Magic and I've called it the residence I called craps

Touring musician yeah, I can't believe I was gonna say I thought you were gonna go for it sushi's a great call I called craps. It could be a touring musician. Yeah. I can't believe, I was gonna say, I thought you were gonna go for it. Sushi's a great call, but I was gonna say steakhouse. Steakhouse is great. You know what though? It's so solid. It's too heavy. Although when we did it, but we did it early. Unless you get a baked potato.

You know what you do, call back to the early days. Pancakes for the table? Yes. Steak for the table the table, steak for the table. Oh, steak for the table. Get a porterhouse, they'll slice it up. I like that. Butter drench it and all that shit, and you just get your tongs, bong bong.

And you get your sides. Get just enough potatoes, nice roll. I like that. You don't get the whole half a cow to yourself. The whole 96er. No. You guys want to go hit the crab stable and we'll pass out halfway there.

This might be the greatest draft, my greatest auction ever. The numbers too. The 111.71. What's funny is the numbers by a couple of those things make them seem a little bit like $1 sushi and $1 cocaine. Those aren't things you want. No. No, no, no, no.

A steak and a bell pepper is $40. That's what it would cost. That's about right. That's about right. Like a scorpion bowl. I remember one time Sean went to the pool and got us two drinks, me and him. And I was like, how much was it? He was like, one twenty. Cause you got us two big frozen drinks, remember?

Two big whale bones, yeah. The, what's the slushy machine called? Not a twister, what's it called? A hurricane. It was for your bachelor. When we all go, the move is a pool cabana. You get your own lot. Is that the way to do it?

Yeah, you all pitch in. You all pitch in and there's like a beverage allowance and then there's a mister out front of it and you have a little house. And a mister inside of it. Am I right? A couple of misters. One dollar. We're gay.

Just kidding. You tell whenever you walk by, like, you thought there was only one mister in here, there's Right couple misters one dollar we're gay You thought there's only one mister in here there's seven Or standing like American different countries flags shorts nice I call Finland I'm due Japan. I got Azerbaijan Morocco I don't want you to know what's happening Get out of my Azerbaijan, why don't you? What I before I got stuck with fast food for Wild Card, I was eyeballing a nap. Oh, that's good. I can't believe, I thought, once I, I was like, there's no way I'm gonna get cocaine for a dollar.

Well, I thought it was big. It was on my mind for sure. It's Las Vegas. I don't think I've done cocaine in 20 years. Little less, probably in 10 years. Oh yeah, right? Hi Kara. My cocaine days are behind me.

Yeah, no. Yeah, but we're still talking about Las Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're still talking about Vegas. It's the place to do it. You're right, you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we're all like, whatever dude,

I've never said anything cool about it. Fuck me, I got nothing to do with it. Like, cocaine is... yeah, you're right. I was also thinking mushrooms. I thought somebody would take mushrooms. Well, I was on the drug front. I would have said smoking indoors. As the wild world called indoors. Because you don't get to smoke indoors anymore. Fuck it, Sean. Pull up Google Flights. We're out. I'll see you guys tomorrow.

I'm gonna army crawl there. Go to the Sphere. go to a day show the sphere Yeah, by the way the sphere my family we went to Vegas for Christmas my fool I had to come back for for work reasons They went to the sphere and they were like that was the best that was the best thing they've ever really really they said it was Way cooler than they even thought it would be yeah I like what they would they what show they had some of that $1 cocaine. Yeah, it was...

I snuck them some of that $1 cocaine. It was some like... It was Ridley Scott's adventure of... They do like movies there in the day. I almost said, believe it or not. Ridley Scott's believe it or not. The talented Mr. Ridley Scott. Yeah.

No flights tonight. It's just like the not-be with five... The open mic of Ridley Scott. Yeah. No flights tonight, David. It's just like the Na'vi with five... The open mic of the Sphere. Really heavy. Really heavy room. I can't stand it. Imagine. How's everyone?

Hey, hey. Your head on the screen. Some sweating. Comedian. Two months in. RFK. Junior. Comedian, two months in. Uh, RFK, um, junior... Cough.

...was not gonna put fluoride in our water anymore. Iraq and Iran! No. That's just what he said. Iraq, Iran, I married. I remember that from Ted Night in a Married with Children episode. Jesus. Where it was another guy he had served in the military with.

And those were their three tours of duty oh I like that. Yeah, I thought I reckon I well I don't name two countries in the Middle East and you hit some kid in the balls Yeah, I racked an Iran. No you ever heard that no Bangkok I'm not gonna do it. You're gonna get smoked in the nose. It would be the funniest joke possible Yeah, I guess now I won't yeah all over're gonna get smoked in the nuts, dude. It would be the funniest joke possible if I did it now or it won't. Oliver Isaac's jacket. You're saying, hey, Bronger,

name two countries in the Middle East. Oh, and I say Iraq and Iran? No. No, you just. You're like, I don't know, and then I hit you in the dick. Okay. And then I say Iraq and Iran.

And then I ran. Oh. I got it now. It took me a second. What's the capital of Thailand? Bangkok. Boom! And you barf everywhere. I have a computer there, dude. I would Thailand Bangkok boom and as you barf everywhere? I'm a computer there dude

I would have gone through it. I'm protected you barf everywhere Think about us. We love Vegas and punching dicks. Yeah, I love just punching cops That's really all you should take away from this auction drive To recap this it's late. This is the latest we've podcast it Yeah, it's I have zero dollars left for restaurant. I got buffet for 25 David got sushi for $1 Sean got room service for 22 and Matt got fancy but at the bar for $5 Under game I got blackjack for 25 David got baccarat for $1 Sean got roulette for $10 and Mac got craps for $10 Oh, yeah under show. I got residency for 12. That's a good deal.

Good deal. David got strip club for a dollar. Unreal. Sean got Big Dank Magic Show for $21. And Matt got touring musician for $13. For days, I got three for 32. David got two for 70. Sean got one for 41.

And Matt's in Vegas for four days for $5. That's tough. The flight would have to cost me $5 for me to go. That's tough. That's like one of those weird ones where you're looking for shit to do outside of Vegas. Yeah, you're like... You're like, maybe Henderson is on his... That fourth day you'd be like, should we just clean up our lives?

Yeah. You got a soul cycle? Do they have a church here? Under Wildcard I got fast food for $5. David got cocaine for $1. David got cocaine for $1. Sean got an open container for $6. And Matt got a signature beverage for $40.

And these are our picks. That last column was pretty fun. David has 26 left. Matt has 27 left over. Let us know who you think won the draft. We'll put a poll up. We draft. We'll put a poll up. We'll put a poll up and you can vote on it. Put a poll up right up in that ass.

Yeah, let us know who you think. Get us up at allfantasypodcast.gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon, where you can get more auction drafts like this, mailbag episodes, bonus features, live episodes, all that stuff, all for the price of less than some Vegas cocaine. Uh.

Shout out to Supervisor Isaac on the ones and twos, shout out to Saint Sue Carmel, shout out to, oh, the AFE subreddit, shout out to the AFE's just slacking, shout out to Frankie Ocean, shout out to Sid the Dude, shout out to Haji Beats, and more important than all of that, listen to Mass New Podcast, Tank Top Tales. Tank Top Talks, but thank you.

Tanktop Talks. It's new. Tanktop Tales. Triple T. Robin July 15th, July 15th, July 15th, July 15th, July 15th, 2021. We're doing Talkin' Tanktop.

Yup. TT&T. Yeah. Tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fans of Everything. So cockety. So cockety. So cockety.

So cockety. So cockety. So cockety. So cockety. So cockety. So cockety. So cockety. So cockety. The is $1.00 cocaine. That was a HeadGum Podcast.