All Fantasy Everything - Little Debbie Snacks (w/ The Sklar Brothers)

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. This week, we are thrilled to be joined by the Sklar Brothers as we draft Little Debbie Snacks. Come on, it's been so long, can't believe we haven't done this before. You can hear the Sklar Brothers on their wildly popular comedy sports podcast, View from the Cheap Seats, available on the Starburns Podcasting Network. You can also hear them on their equally as popular podcast, Dumb People Town, co-hosted with friend of the show, Dan Van Kirk. You can also hear them right here, right now. You may notice that your host's voice sounds slightly different today. That is

Starting point is 00:00:43 because Ian Carmel could not be the captain of the ship this week. He is in Bolivia doing work. We're just going to say work. You can put quotes around it if you want to, or you don't have to. But he is in Bolivia. He will be back next week. Until then, I am your host, Sean Jordan. I'm doing my best.

Starting point is 00:00:59 I always try. Joined, as always, by friend and comedian, David Borey. Let's get into it. Can't always put pepper in these juices. Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything the podcast that i'm really hoping is going to leave that first line in that david said right before i did the intro something about pepper in the juices they're always putting you want it's just supposed to be a green juice and then there's always cayenne in it you know i drink every kind of mountain dew they make so i know that i know that about that pepper in my drink baby well all right yeah that's it uh thank you everybody for

Starting point is 00:01:51 tuning in we're excited to have uh a brand new episode coming this week normally ian's hosting it's gonna be a little clunky i apologize don't say that, man. I gotta be honest. You guys let me know at the end if it was clunky or not. You gotta lie, baby. I put that attitude up there with the opening comedian who at the end of his or her set says, all right, are you ready to get this show started? Exactly. You already did something great. You're the show, Sean.

Starting point is 00:02:23 You're the show. When people are like,'re ready to get your first comic up here every time i come up i shake hands or if they're in the green room with me i'm like you know you were the first comic yes the very first person out there keep it all this in run it back for our sake run it back i mean we're gonna keep all this in but like emotionally start emotionally start right now that man that wants me to run it back uh you know him as cool guy jokes 87 on instagram not on twitter because twitter fucked it up they lost a genius because it's a dark wasteland on twitter david morey how you living i'm good uh i got some pepper in my

Starting point is 00:02:57 juice but other than that i'm i'm feeling good it's a good you know day to be a man alive you've always had pepper in your juice baby i love it can you tell you got anything coming up anything anywhere the people can see you anything going on uh yeah february 16th i have in los angeles at the elysian theater i have a live podcast my mama told me february 17th at the skylar Clowns in Denver. Headliner Katrina Davis. High note comedy. March 23rd through 25th. Rooster Teeth Feathers in Sunnyvale, California.

Starting point is 00:03:36 March 30th through April 1st. 31st through April 1st. Dallas Comedy Club. Dallas, Texas. April 7th through 10th. The Before You Die Festival, Anchorage, Alaska. Other than that, you know. Dog, organized. Look at all that.

Starting point is 00:03:53 Look at all those dates. I go to my Fly Delta app and I look at where my plane tickets are coming up. I love it, man. You know, I do what I can. Now, also joining us, I'm very excited. We have Randy and Jason Sklar, the Sklar brothers. It's been a long time coming. Rarely do we have a chance to have two guests.

Starting point is 00:04:14 I'm thrilled about it. How are y'all doing? How are you living? Very excited to do this podcast. We were in Minneapolis about to do a stand-up show, and you guys were sold out of your podcast that you did live. Is that correct? Am I correct in saying that? You guys blew doors off your podcast that you did live. Is that correct? Am I correct in saying that you guys blew doors off?

Starting point is 00:04:28 Yes, you are correct. Oh my God. And it was electric. It was so much fun. We watched the show. It was amazing. Oh,

Starting point is 00:04:35 you guys were there. Yeah. We were cranked on juicy Lucy's just ready to go. You had lots of pepper in your juice that night. And I'll tell you this, you guys crushed it. It was so fun. And in that moment, and we had known about this you guys crushed it it was so fun and in that moment and we had known about this podcast we'd known through ian for a long time um but in that

Starting point is 00:04:51 moment jay and i both like single white female the situation we're like we gotta do we have to be on this we have to do this right now and we have to like get inside of each of these guys and here we are all up in it we had to throw that pepper in the juice and make this thing happen and we're here i love it i love do you guys are you guys in adjacent hotel rooms i'm just curious yeah like we're like we're right across like he's sitting right across from me in the same hotel now uh we're in i'm around the corner i'm down around the corner down the hall yeah at a safe distance. Yes.

Starting point is 00:05:26 We request that we are not in adjacent rooms. We don't want to be that close to each other. We were that close in the womb many years ago, and we're done with that. No, I get that. We do separate floors usually because I don't want them to see me getting isolated at night. Well, we each take our whole floor. We each just like a whole floor. We do it like crazy.

Starting point is 00:05:44 Yeah, you request, Sean, that they not book another room on any floor that you're on. Yeah. That feels like a power move. That's the epitome of white privilege. Well, the last hotel I stayed at, I was in Astoria, Oregon, and it was completely automated. Did not see one person. And it felt really weird. It felt like I was the only.

Starting point is 00:06:03 I don't like that. I checked in with a code. I got in my room with with a code i didn't see any other people at all and i felt i felt weird i don't know just like i was a whole alone in the whole thing room service delivered by an ai robot i'm with you it's weird weird yeah they're giving you those late night cheese sticks via drone that's a bummer i had room service one time in my whole life david and i were in new york and ian david and ian and i were in new york a few weeks ago and i was gonna go to the bar and get us some drinks david goes no no you're getting room service it's the only time i've ever got it two shots two beers 90 american dollars oh bro i mean that was new york you shouldn't have started

Starting point is 00:06:39 new york yeah that's where you do that shit. You pull that in Tulsa. Live like a king up in that place. Where the front desk person just has it. We don't go east of the Mississippi with room service. That's room number one. No, not north of St. Louis or east of the Mississippi. Yeah, I don't go above the Mason-Dixon

Starting point is 00:07:00 line. That's the only thing we won't go above the Mason-Dixon line for. At Sklar Brothers on Instagram. At Sklar Brothers on Instagram. At Sklar Brothers on TikTok. At Sklar Brothers on Twitter. Where can the folks, where can the fine, fine folks see you, gentlemen? What do you got coming up? We are going to be in Cincinnati or outside of Cincinnati at the Lawrenceburg Events Center on March 4th,

Starting point is 00:07:20 which is a huge room. Very excited to play that. I'm at Cincinnati, Louisville in that area. All those. In the tri-state area. So please come out and check that out. We're going to be at, in Phoenix at the Stand Up Live,

Starting point is 00:07:32 one of our favorite clubs ever. We'll be there at the end of March, the 30th, 29th, or the 30th, 31st and 1st of April, that weekend. We're going to be at Moon Tower Comedy Festival in Austin and the end of April.

Starting point is 00:07:46 And then we just added in Minneapolis, Minnesota we're going to be there in like I think it's March 19th 18th 18th, 19th, 20th

Starting point is 00:07:54 ACME Comedy Club our 19th, 20th, 21st and then the 23rd we'll be up in Alaska again we went up to Alaska too and I loved Anchorage our buddy Brad Erickson I don't know if he was part of

Starting point is 00:08:04 like booking your thing. He's great. And I think we might be doing a little something up there. But we have our thing, the Nosebleeds, which is our Cheap Seats reboot that we did for the UFC. And that's available. You can check that out. See the first episode for free on YouTube. And then if you love the show and you want to subscribe to UFC

Starting point is 00:08:19 Fight Pass and get all the access to the biggest, coolest sports combat library you can. And it's basically cheap seats, but with old weird UFC footage, us making jokes and sketches and all sorts of stuff. So we're very proud of that and hoping we get a season two, fingers crossed.

Starting point is 00:08:35 Hell yeah. Sean, we got to get you fight pass. So you're not watching all these psychos fight on the internet all day. I get fight videos on the internet and I watch them. A to tail the snoot. I watched the watch the whole motherfucker no questions asked you know i went i've told this you watch the entire like i watched the lead up i watched the puffin of the chest what's the max though there's got to be like will you watch a four minute nine minutes you know what i'll do

Starting point is 00:09:01 i'll scroll i'll scroll to the middle and if there's action i'll go back to the beginning be like all right i need to see how to look out there give me so the so the rams lost and let me see how that led to somebody falling down all the bleacher stairs if it's nine you guys better fuck up two different dominoes pizzas that's right nine minutes that's so long it's a long time hey it's a frustrating addiction man i i don't know when that switch happened but happened it. It got flipped. Yeah, I mean, one of those two things, you're going to see a lot of fights and maybe Trevor Lawrence. Or you need to start working at a waffle

Starting point is 00:09:31 house. One of those two things. I don't like seeing them in person. I get nervous and I get scared. I was at a UFC one time. We went to one UFC and it was so... I was one of those people. I didn't think it wasn't Buck, but I didn't think it was as gnarly as it is.

Starting point is 00:09:49 And when you're sitting... You thought it wasn't... What did you think they were doing? You can watch it on TV and it can seem, dare I say, a little monotonous. I think it's remarkable how people can keep their head and no one cries. I've probably only ever been in one fight in my life where i didn't actually cry

Starting point is 00:10:07 yeah whether it be in front of everyone or like later breathe breathe man you're making you were born with crew you sound like you have the group you you sound like you have the croup you literally sound like you have the croup nobody ever talks about croup i was i was born i was born with croup jaundice and um i had i had the hiccups for the first two weeks of my life it was like a late stage alcoholic when i was born it was crazy that's like a paul bunyan origin story if tice is featuring for us and he said he beat you in a foot race so that's like maybe as bad as the crew oh he's six four he's got a long stride sorry sean tice smoked him well i thought i was done crying in fistfights but jeff can see these hands soon next time i'm in denver we'll see what time it is got low post moves you don't want them you don't want any

Starting point is 00:11:01 business he's pretty strong physically as well he's got a long reach and he's strong yeah the only thing i got on jeff is i have a slightly older baby than he does so i can tell him things then he has to listen to a couple things oh that's true your baby's the tallest baby baby fight you do a little baby fighting max is in the hundred percentile the doctor said out of a thousand babies she'd be in the top four tallest probably the tallest at wmba man wmba i don't have to tell you brianna stewart is now on the liberty what's up new york and what's up new york in new york come on come on let's go i'm out represent that song gets me going me too man every time I'll tell you the best Alicia Keys story. So I...

Starting point is 00:11:47 And by the way, we're nowhere near our fantasy thing and I love it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That's how it goes over here. That's how it goes. They bought the Iron Man house. Who's her dude? Swiss Beats. Swiss Beats. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:12:01 Yeah, they bought the Iron Man house. Short for Switzerland Beats. I love his, thank you. Yeah, they bought the Iron Man house. Anyway. Short for Switzerland Beets. Sorry. I love his hot cocoa, by the way. Yeah, that's where he made his money. So I have an English Bulldog right now. His name is Roman, and he's almost 12 and a half years old. But before that, we had another English Bulldog named Virgil,

Starting point is 00:12:22 who lived to be almost 12, which is really old for these dogs. Great dogs and very cool. And so Virgil, he had never watched the TV ever, ever. And all of a sudden, we're watching, my wife and I are watching some Grammys thing. And Alicia Keys comes on and starts playing. Some people want it all, but I don't want it all. And she starts playing the piano. The dog gets up from where he was, walks over to the TV.

Starting point is 00:12:56 We've never seen him do this ever. He had never done it since and never did it after. Sat down, full focus on Alicia Keys. Watched her sing If I ain't got you baby. As soon as she was done, he went back to his bed and went down. I'm like, Alicia keys,

Starting point is 00:13:09 man. She made the animals pay attention. I think that's transcendent. I think that's what that word was. Just cheaper. She broke through to this animal in a way that I had never seen. And I'm like, that is the most beautiful thing.

Starting point is 00:13:22 And my wife and I just sat and watched him watch her. And we were like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. No, she has control over man and beast. Yes. Yeah, she's magical, dude. She is fantastic. She's also colorblind. Is she really?

Starting point is 00:13:35 No, but that seems like it would be a cool fact. You said she's colorblind. She can see music. She has that Pharrell thing. What is it? Synesthesia? my name is Sean Jordan Sean S. Jordan on Twitter, Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Instagram do the other bit

Starting point is 00:13:53 Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on oh Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Irish high note comedy sold out at the end of February okay that was okay I was coming out of pocket anyway i don't sold out already in less than a day thank you to everybody who bought tickets for that to see amy miller at the end of the month um i will be in sioux falls south dakota with one kyle canane and a one matt bronger february 21st hometown come to the orpheum show those those dudes how cool I am. February 22nd

Starting point is 00:14:26 will be in Duluth. February 23rd will be in Fargo. And then Easter weekend will be in Fort Collins at the Comedy Fort. Other than that, watch the Late Late Show with James Corden. Listen to all fantasy, everything. And now not only are we gathered here to talk about fighting and the

Starting point is 00:14:42 WNBA and just the kind of stuff we are, but we are also going here to draft uh little debbie snacks yeah we are very excited about it and this was not this wasn't on the list you guys who who thought of it was it a group effort uh i thought of it randy and i used to have a bit in our act in our stand-up this is a while ago it was in our act, in our stand-up, this was a while ago, it was in our 2009 Comedy Central Presents, where we talked about how our parents were cheap, our father, we never had a, we weren't like. Even the kid with polio had chocodiles. Like, even that, the single mom who was never around, but spending a lot of time with her friend Carol. And you're like, is that your friend? I can't tell.

Starting point is 00:15:24 Like, why does she get hostess like why does her kid get we didn't get that we got little debbie snack cakes which little debbie she looks like she's having a stroke on the box there's like a dried her hair is matted down there's a little trickle of blood out of the corner of her mouth it's like she's a pirate have a nutty bar how about a star crunch you're like all right can you calm down little debbie smokes cigs for sure yeah she does like the kid oh yeah her as a kid smoked oh yeah black and mild probably swish your sweets yeah swish your sweets yeah our parents got us like we would never got Doritos.

Starting point is 00:16:05 We got these things called Tortilla rounds. Tortilla, three L's. So they made you pronounce the Spanish wrong. And the bag was like an irregular size bag. It was like two inches wide and like 18 inches tall. So it fit on no shelf in our pantry. We had to like stick it on our washer and dryer and write. And it tasted like fabric softener.

Starting point is 00:16:22 But our parents, of course, went for the plain label Snuggles with a the z that had a bear on it with a googly eye that was missing and it was holding a box cutter with a thought bubble that said where's little debbie i'm gonna cut the bitch all right i love it listen that's the bit i grew up eating a lot of marshmallow mateys i'm right there with you you're with us you know so we went deep into the little debbie canon and i believe when you threw out hey what are some we have some topics we might like to cover is there anything that you guys feel would be make for a good fantasy draft thought of a couple off off the rip that i was like these are okay and then little debbie snack cakes came up and and we were like in in one yeah it's right we gotta do it it's right in the wheel it's perfect and we've never

Starting point is 00:17:04 really we've touched on specific like just mean, we've done desserts and things like that, but we've never gone into Little Debbie's because we had this conversation the other day, my nephew and I. Speaking with a child. This is like in between candy. I was talking to a child about dessert. Well, this is in between candy and dessert. These are just like treats.

Starting point is 00:17:21 They're not really, you can't really call it candy. Can't call it a dessert. Really. I wouldn't say say it's not regal and when something's a quarter i don't think it counts as a dessert it's a part of every packed lunch of every kid who is embarrassed by their own packed lunch that's what a little debbie snack cake was do you remember they used to say 35 cents on the package yeah yeah was it 25 they said 25 on the package back in the day well then it went up they did that price hike after the there was nothing that fucked me up as a kid worse than price hikes like i remember when sodas went from 50 cents standard everywhere to like the 75 75 yeah and it was like what the fuck are you doing to me and that that upsets you

Starting point is 00:18:06 because you're like i got two quarters where am i gonna find three you're like well that's really that big of a leap you know what i had to do to get these two quarters you know how my couch cushions are in disarray i called in all my loans all of them i i had to suck a lot of dick a lot of hjs at least right i a lot of HJs at least. I'm not going to get to a trucker rest stop in the next two weeks. I need it now. And a ride to Barstow. You could do both those things. And a ride

Starting point is 00:18:37 out of Barstow. You got to prearrange that shit. I can't be there after dark. It's going to be a quick trip. Barstow, man. Shout out if you're holding Barstow down i don't know how you're doing good on you uh there's a lot when i was a kid i used to think oh so y'all in san diego when i was a kid i thought i thought california was san diego i didn't even think it was i thought it was just like san diego and then you find out the most it 90% of it that's more like a barstow yeah totally all deserty and real quick before we get to the draft you guys are San Diego I was saying earlier that um when I was like 15 16

Starting point is 00:19:14 my mom used to let me and a bunch of us friends we would go to San Diego for a week every year for the skateboard trade show and one of the things we did when I was 16 is we took their whatever their max train is, their public transit. You could just take it right down to Tijuana. And we did. We were 16 and we were sitting there and they have like a main thoroughfare

Starting point is 00:19:34 where they're like, don't leave this. But we're just eating lunch and this dude came up and just started pouring tequila down our throats and like massaging our throats. We were 16. And he is a licensed doctor what was weird is that he's a veterinarian he's a veterinarian he was just trying to get you to swallow a pill to hush the pill down a dog's throat this is what they're doing with the worm

Starting point is 00:19:55 well i had to get him back up in the states somehow so i just swallowed all of them all the all the ambien that i needed yeah it was just it was crazy to think about. A friend asked where he could get some weed, and it was like out of the movie Blow. There was like a giant barrel of weed. I'd never seen anything like it. So, yeah, you guys going to get down there? No? Just going to keep going.

Starting point is 00:20:16 I want to. I want to so bad. We ate at the best Mexican restaurant ever, ever, ever. It's called Las Cuatro Milpas, if you're ever down here. We're like the. It's called Las Cuatro Milpas if you're ever down here. We're like, the four Milpas, Las Cuatro Milpas. It's like the best taquitos you've ever had.

Starting point is 00:20:33 The rolled tacos are so authentic that each one comes with a screaming baby. They just hand it to you and you're like, do I take care of this now for the lunch or for the life? I'll do whatever. All the seating, everywhere you sit in the restaurant, you're like do i take care of this now for the lunch or for the life i'll do whatever it's like all the seating like everywhere you sit in the restaurant you're like are we is this staff seating are we allowed to be sitting in this area that's all the seating because it's all around

Starting point is 00:20:54 machinery and you're like well there's some machinery in here that i'm like i know it hasn't been used in like decades man where should we eat and he's like i think there's two seats over by that cotton gin i'm like i like to sit next to the horchata machine that's right i'm i'm over here by the by the iron lung yeah i mean it's just no decor whatsoever i'm like what do you got up on the top of that shelf up there oh that's the thing from serve pro that they use if your place gets flooded oh that's just sitting on top of the thing blowing air down okay good that's how you know it's good so good so good like the best rolled tacos we've ever eaten in our lives like because they're not wasting money or time on the decor it's like when chris angel the magician like there's a post there's a billboard

Starting point is 00:21:40 of him and his shirt's off and he's got abs i'm like you're working too much on the fucking on the crunches, bro. You got to work on new tricks. Brother, I've been saying that for years. That guy's too much aesthetic, not enough magic. You only need one ab in magic, abracadabra. Get on it. That is the truth.

Starting point is 00:21:57 Who wants a strong magician? Nobody. The whole reason you know magic is so your body doesn't have to be strong. Like you're getting strong is like the wrong thing. Listen to me. You're getting laid because you can make shit disappear. Yeah. Do we want like a ripped Gandalf?

Starting point is 00:22:14 No, we don't. Oh. He's a wizard. I want him sickly. I want my magician sickly. Exactly. Thank you. I'm like, yes.

Starting point is 00:22:23 You like a David Blaine? David Copperfield. Copperfield was a thin bro, thin dude. David Copperfield looks like a lunatic. I watched that Statue of Liberty thing the other day because I'm watching the Americans right now and they reference it in there. He looks great.

Starting point is 00:22:37 I didn't know he was like that. His eyebrows are so thick. He looks like he's 80% nose. That's what's amazing about that. Yeah. You couldn't make that disappear. that disappear he made that eight ball disappear his personality made claudia shaffer i'll make the statue of liberty disappear and he just turned his head to the side well the fact that there was ever a time that magicians were getting super

Starting point is 00:22:59 models anyways it's remarkable i mean it only took us 300 some episodes to talk about yeah fuck david copperfield i've been trying to figure out a way to get that in there he turned the statue of liberty into a mound of coke and then just snorted the whole thing that's how he made it disappear now as much as i'd love to talk about David Cogsfield's addictions, we are here to draft Little Debbie Snacks, and I want to get to it. Now, when we draft, it's going to be a serpentine draft. To determine the order of that draft, it's going to be a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors

Starting point is 00:23:35 played between the three of you. I'm going to go ahead and sit out. We'll go on shoot. Ready? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Yeah. And who do we... David with an unnatural victory, but one beats two.

Starting point is 00:23:49 Odd man out. Now, David, you will choose the order of this draft, but before we do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That means you go first, second, third, and then the third person goes fourth and then goes right back. It's there and back, there and back. He knows what it is, Jay.

Starting point is 00:24:03 I love it. I'm explaining that for Randy. then goes right back it's there and back there and back he knows what it is jay i love it no i'm explaining that for randy for randy oh yeah i'm in two fantasy football leagues i know what a serpentine draft is for randy that was great it's usually sean's bit so i love it no sean's had to do 310 examples of what a serpent it's the worst yeah so basically if you pick last in the first round you pick first in the second round now with that in mind david what will the order of two days little debbie ass draft be i have to go first because i think there's big talent on the board i gotta get off uh then i'm going randy then i'm going sean jason you are the hot corner but then

Starting point is 00:24:43 you get the fifth pick too I already know what I want is coming off the board early but okay fine okay of course it is yeah well yeah so we have David Randy myself and Jason and yeah David hitting us with the first pick before we get to that first pick

Starting point is 00:25:01 a quick break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could. Let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that

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Starting point is 00:26:33 I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code ALLFANTASY at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule 35 dot co and use promo code all fantasy and we're back welcome back to all fantasy everything the only podcast to ever exist i'm thrilled about it i'm thrilled to be drafting little debbie you're so tight if you're not looking at you why are you so tight it makes me uncomfortable i have to get the list i'm trying to write everyone's names down i I'm told you, man. This takes some getting used to.

Starting point is 00:27:06 You're doing great. You just need to relax, baby. Well, I was doing great until someone told me I was tight. Maybe some of these will help. Did you see these when I flashed these earlier? Quit saying picks. I didn't. I showed a pick.

Starting point is 00:27:18 Did you get those just for this or did you have those anyways? We're taking young Maxine to the coast, so we got these for the ride to the coast. Okay. That's a good reason to get some Little Debbies. That's a great david hit it you're on the clock what do you got i have to take the quintessential first thing that popped in my head prices on the box beautiful face i'm taking the oatmeal cream pie wow first a unexpected off the board. Are you serious? That's Sam Bowie? I can't. That is a hit.

Starting point is 00:27:49 There's so much chocolate out there. I think you could have gotten. I'm not a chocoholic though. I don't love chocolate like that. Most people are. That's like the guy who drafts a kicker in the sixth round. I'm like, that dude will be on the board in four more rounds. I need him to work in my system.

Starting point is 00:28:06 Okay. Is the thing, right? Your system guy. David, that was going to be my pick. So good pick, good pick. I think it's the quintessential. Because here's the thing is you forget that we're all purists. We're deep in.

Starting point is 00:28:17 I think if you ask anybody on the street, I think people who are mostly familiar with hostess i think that's always going to be the first pick first and foremost you're a big honey i shrunk the kids guy so that really that's really why it's a well you were big and then they shrunk you down i was a huge i mean they blew me up again in the second movie you remember that handfuls of cream and you're just like whoa they're just like that's a giant cookie and they're just taking the cream and we're just gonna gloss over all of the sexual connotations from an oatmeal cream pie like that feels like that's like when you don't even need to we don't even need to go there we don't even need to you were just you were just about to go there, Jay. It's like when you have sex.

Starting point is 00:29:06 I heard. No, they did the second movie of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, and it was Honey, I Shrunk My Interest in This Series of Movies. I can't even. Okay. Honey, I Blew Up the Kids. Yeah. They can't make it that easy to make it a gnarly poster, by the way.

Starting point is 00:29:26 All right. You got to have more words. He took an oatmeal cream pie to the face. That's what he did right out of the gate. By the way, there are whole websites dedicated to just that. I'm going to need a towel. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 00:29:40 Because it's dripping. Do you get it, Sean? Yes. Oatmeal cream pie. Off the board. I get it. It's just not. It's not. I don't like like oatmeal necessarily it's not my number one part of it barely oatmeal also when you taste there's not a lot of oatmeal flavor in that i'll take it no i'll take an oatmeal cream pie out of the gates is like you coming in and saying, I have a new boyfriend and his name is Andrew Tate.

Starting point is 00:30:07 A lot of followers, mom. A lot of followers. A lot of followers. Okay. Coffee hours, but he's in jail. Dad watches him.

Starting point is 00:30:15 So, you know, in Bucharest, in a Bucharest, I'm taking non-sex trafficking. He's been Bucharest. Cream pie. Oh, there he is. He's been Buch arrested cream pie oh there he is he's been

Starting point is 00:30:26 not nervous anymore you know there we go open it up because you're usually a book at a beppo guy so i like this term i've never been i've never booked it a ben you've never booked it a beppo no you've always booked it a lied about wanting to book it to take me and then we bet we never we never take you to a city walk right now. Don't you know what I can't stand is those articles about those Bucca to Beppo babies. Those are babies that have enjoyed

Starting point is 00:30:56 success based on their parents who are franchise owners of Bucca to Beppo. That's right. Yeah. Jason and Kim Bucca to Beppo. They're kids. Sure. That's right. Yeah. Jason and Kim, Bucca di Beppo. They're kids. Sure. That's right. Randy, you're on the board.

Starting point is 00:31:09 Hit us. What do you got? I got to go with Swiss rolls. Not Swiss cake rolls. Swiss rolls. Those things were the closest of all. And we've tried them all. And I know.

Starting point is 00:31:18 And I kind of step aside and allowed. Because I know what Jay's. I actually know exactly where Jay's going to go. and allowed because I know what Jay's, I actually know exactly where Jay's going to go. But the Swiss rolls to me were the closest that they came to Hostess. Hostess was the best.

Starting point is 00:31:32 Hostess was the standard, whatever they're doing. It's like in today's day and age when you go to a supermarket and get a sheet cake, they're still dropping chemicals in that shit that the woke bakeries won't put in it and And it's still the best thing. You get a sheet cake from Ralph's or Albertson's, or if you're out in the, listen to this podcast

Starting point is 00:31:51 in the Midwest and from Kroger or something, IGA or Kroger's or whatever you, that will be the best tasting thing that will give you cancer ever. And it is. So I, the Swiss cake roll to me or Swiss rolls of little Debbie was the, the look, the taste, the texture of the chocolate on the outside, like the iced icing chocolate on the outside, then the cake in the middle. My wife makes a, what's called a bouche de Noel, which is like a Yule log that you kind of, and I've seen her make it. And she does like with the cream on the inside and then you, you make the I've seen her make it and she does like with the cream on the inside and then you, you make the cake, then you roll it. And that's what this is. It reminds me of that. So I've got a soft spot in my heart to me when I ate Swiss rolls at lunch at school,

Starting point is 00:32:35 I felt like I was 90% of a normal kid. You closed your eyes and you felt, you felt like you were a hostess. I get that. That's right. That's very real. I mean, they're ho-hos. They are. I mean, they make no noise. When you bite into them, it makes no noise. They're not ho-hos. They're just straight hoes. I mean, it's just a ho.

Starting point is 00:32:54 Yeah, just hoes. It's just a ho. Which are people, too. Thank you. Thank you. You want to eat a ho? You want to eat a ho? You want to eat a ho?

Starting point is 00:33:01 Here's your Swiss roll. Here's your Swiss beef. Also, I love the package on the box me too there's the swiss mountains swiss mountains you're up in the sky you're you're it's it's very lofty it's an aspirational role it is it is an aspirate it's the polo ralph loren thank you cakes. This is where I aspire to be. And the Swiss normally neutral. The Swiss normally neutral, and Randy went for it. Absolutely. Right there with the lunch.

Starting point is 00:33:30 They can get along with all the rest of the lunch. Yes. It makes me sound stupid, but since there's two of them, I was always like, yeah, tight. I'm getting more. Even though they're the same surface area as an oatmeal cream pie, I'm just like, there's two. That's absolutely right.

Starting point is 00:33:42 That is true. If you barter one of them, you could right that is true one of them one of them could you could just be that you could hook somebody up with one of them even yeah i would i would never yeah i would never i mean i mean little debbie and i'm supposed to share with my man no no that's like come on absolutely not absolutely not yeah obvious Obvious first round talent, Swiss Rolls. I'm coming up. First pick for me, I'm going what I have in my hand. I'm going Nutty Bars. Nutty Bars.

Starting point is 00:34:12 That have been changed to Nutty Buddies, which sounds like something that was put on us by the Catholic Church. Right. Nutty Buddy sounds way more like cum. Yeah, definitely. Sorry, I'm just saying it. A Nutty Buddy? It just feels more cummy to me more they both have nut in them you could you know it's what you call yeah that's what you call

Starting point is 00:34:29 your penis it's my nutty buddy yeah i like that's like a slang term for real good friends who have been through a lot together that's my nutty buddy yeah like a lunatic like a nice lunatic that a woman can call someone or a guy who is involved with another man can call a partner a nutty buddy. I say we should call people nutty buddies instead of Eskimo brothers and sisters. You could do that. Or I'm saying like if you're friends with someone, but you're not in a relationship. Is that your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Starting point is 00:34:58 Oh, that's my nutty buddy. That's my nutty buddy. That's my nutty buddy. Yeah, I like that. T-Pain wrote a song about that where he called it shoddy, but I like nutty buddy much better. T-Pain doing a nut. T-Pain doing Little Debbie ads, and I'm telling you that goes through the roof.

Starting point is 00:35:12 Don't even say it on wax. That's a million dollar idea. Call the agency. Call them right now. Shoddy. Nutty. Let me buy you some cream. Nutty.

Starting point is 00:35:33 I got nutties in the bank let me buy you some cream yeah that's the whole thing writes itself i mean we just do it t-pain he listens you know he listens yeah he's it's a wafer it's got peanut butter and it has chocolate and there are two of them and there's. I mean, that's the classic two. And they're big. These are centers. They're big. They're big. They're nutty. And they're lighter than you think. What am I doing?

Starting point is 00:35:53 We're just going to... Also, that plain plastic, it always feels to me like some kind of food they would give you in like a foster home. Yeah, or in Romania. Yeah. It doesn't matter how many miles you have to walk in the rain with these in your pocket they'll be fine the big hit at the reform school

Starting point is 00:36:12 and there is a and they won't and they won't like totally melt like the wafer is its own sort of like it's almost like if there's like a fire around a golf course you know it's not it's going to end when you get to the fairway. Yeah, we're good on the fit because it's just not going to get through. We've watered this grass enough. The wafer will assume it will soak up whatever gets melted. It's the end of the meltings. And that's true.

Starting point is 00:36:37 It could be in the bottom of a backpack for three days. You take that bitch out, it's still good. Or three years. Yeah. Put it in the freezer for a minute. You got a whole new wafer chocolate treat. Nutty buddies. Classic.

Starting point is 00:36:51 Classic, classic. I'm excited I got in the first round. All right. Jay, hit us with... Wait, wait a minute. So is... Randy, is the first pick that you thought Jay was going with, is it still on the board?

Starting point is 00:37:02 Still on the board, and I know exactly where he's going. There's no doubt in my mind. This is like a Roman discus of flavor. It is crunchy. It's got star in the name and I'm

Starting point is 00:37:18 going with a star crunch. I know people, it's got heft to it. It has weight. It has rice krispies. It has caramel to it. It has weight. It has Rice Krispies. It has caramel in it. It has chocolate in it. It is a star crunch. There's a reason why I have star crunches.

Starting point is 00:37:32 Like when they were gotten at our house. Of course they did. Those were the first to go at our house. The idea. Love, weighty, chewy, the caramel. The caramel is really the thing that holds it all together. I had a paper route from when I was like seven on until I got an actual job. And my treat every Tuesday after doing the paper route was a Star Country and some hot cocoa from the gas station.

Starting point is 00:37:58 Did you call it a Star Country? Star Crunchy. I didn't mean to say country. I got a whole star country star country is about that cult that moved into oregon and all those people it was like a sex cult and they were all wearing maroon oh no i'm sorry that's wild wild country no no that's yellowstone um yes i i really do think star crunch is star crunch was one of those things that i think stepped out even beyond the little debbie brand and i think people who look down on little debbie still couldn't they couldn't deny a

Starting point is 00:38:30 star crunch because there's nothing else like it quite like it out in the snack and treat universe crispy treat est in certain but it's chocolate like there is no and caramel it's like somebody who didn't have any kids took like the whole day and made the dopest recipe treats they could possibly mashed it together and just turned it into this dense they just had all the time they were drinking wine while they were doing it got a little tossed and like decided to throw like chocolate and fuck it i'm gonna do whatever i feel like doing it no it was definitely an accident like a penicillin type of situation they spilled all that shit some say that it can cure male pattern baldness.

Starting point is 00:39:06 Is that weird? It'll get rid of your VD though. It does. It'll get rid of your ED. You get a boner with nothing on it. It will. It will. Someone in a kitchen brought that to someone else

Starting point is 00:39:15 and someone said, thank you, chef. And that was way before the bear came out. Thank you, chef. DMJ, you got the star, and you get to go again. Yeah, back-to-back, Playboy, as it is. A serpentine draft. I'm going to hit this with number two. So these used to be called fudge brownies.

Starting point is 00:39:35 They are now, for some reason, called cosmic brownies. Yeah, because they colored the nuts. They colored the nuts up. They colored the nuts. No, the cosmic brownies are different than the – Are they really the Cosmic Brownies are different than the – those aren't – Are they really? Fudge Brownies are different than Cosmic Brownies? Yeah, Cosmic Brownies, the little – it's like little candies.

Starting point is 00:39:52 They still make the ones with the nuts. They do. Cosmic are different. Oh, we'll just count them both. So they're different, Jay. I'll go with what I grew up on, and that is the Fudge Brownies because simple nuts on top of a brownie, but it was like somewhere between

Starting point is 00:40:08 cake and brownie and it was so good. The texture. The texture. So it wasn't quite as dense as a brownie and it was more filling. And again, what I loved about it is they came in a long thing where there was a crease in the middle and you could break them into two. You could make it. It showed

Starting point is 00:40:24 you how to break them into two. Although I will say Colored Nuts does sound like a racist sketch group from the 1950s. Hey! We're Colored Nuts. We're going to need a person blazer thing. Like, oh God. Person blazer ethnic group. Go. Do not do a voice.

Starting point is 00:40:40 Like everyone in the crowd. Don't get the... Stop. Colored Nuts. Stop it. So yeah. like everyone in the crowd like no don't get stop please do not colored nuts stop it so yeah these brownies we used to ball them up and throw them on the floor

Starting point is 00:40:53 and they look like little poops and we used to think it was the funniest thing we used to think it was the funniest we did it well into high school they used to sell

Starting point is 00:41:00 a version of these at our school and we'd ball them up and they'd be like you're gonna think a dog came in and shit in the hallways. And you know that they never ever... They might have thought that once and then they're like,

Starting point is 00:41:10 Sean and the skateboarders balled up brownies again and just threw them kind of by the lockers. Can't really get in trouble for it though, so I don't really know what to do. I think the nuts on top were the worst part about it and I would always pick them off. It just wasn't my thing. I did too. I would leave them on now.

Starting point is 00:41:26 I would leave them on now, but I just like... Yeah, I'm adventurous now. You can break them into two. You are in your 40s and you've grown a lot since you're skateboarding. Ball up the brownie and make it look like someone shipped the floor days. You're a better person.

Starting point is 00:41:42 You've grown a little. You have a daughter who's on her way to the WNBA. You are a much better person. You're going little you have a daughter is on their way to the wmba you are a much better person you're gonna teach her to ball up the brown that's right i'll do it to her until she starts realizing it's not poop yeah and then and you know i'll let her in on the family and then i'll sit her down and i'll tell her her lineage and i'll be like this is what you need to take into whatever school you go to i've now given you this lesson. I've given you a gift. Yeah, those things, those are still solid.

Starting point is 00:42:10 You can still get everything we've talked about, right? Yeah, I thought I was going to be able to get that late. Yeah, I had my eye on that. Nutty bars were up. If I had my druthers, I would have gone Star Crunch Nutty Bar,

Starting point is 00:42:21 but they came off the board before me. Well, I said in the email that you don't get your druthers when you do this show. I understand that. I understand that. And that's why I'm fine.

Starting point is 00:42:29 That was the only red part of the email. So I'm fine with this. I'm fine with my fudge brownie as my second choice. Second one. You have a good first two. Yeah, I have a strong top two. Well, now going into my second pick, these were Sans the star crunchy these are

Starting point is 00:42:47 my so my top three star crunchy being one of them first nutty bar second i'm gonna go the fudge round fudge round okay yeah those are good i loved because it was like i didn't know what chocolate mousse was yet but in the middle of a fudge round that's fucking chocolate mousse stripes the stripes on the top and then the that's the closest to round that's fucking chocolate mousse stripes the stripes on the top and then the that's the closest to me that till you get like cookies so it's like i'm getting three things like two cookies and then the mousse in the middle and it's just so ill it's off it all yeah it always felt the texture is great so like to me it always felt like the edge of the cake that they cut they're like what are going to do with all these cake edges?

Starting point is 00:43:26 You know what I mean? The round edges that were rounded off. Well, let's just stick some mousse in it and make it feel like the ends of the thing that they didn't want anymore. It was one of those things where I was always surprised. Like, are you really going to let me eat this? This feels, as a child even, I was like, this is bad for me. This is pretty bad. Yeah, it was all about the candy.

Starting point is 00:43:44 Those were a little harder to find too like they weren't as abundant as like we had like the store might not have them sometimes we all super broke growing up yeah we were we were okay our parents would bring home the fudge rounds we and our our response to them would be like they they didn't have Star Crunches? Like that was what we'd say to them. You jerks. We had a lot of singles. So like we didn't have necessarily lots of boxes of these, but we'd have like five or six singles in the cupboard.

Starting point is 00:44:15 So it'd be like a couple fudge rounds, a thing of Nutty Bars or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And these were individually packaged. There is something to be said about a little Debbie snack cake that is what it what its name said it's almost like on a monopiatic I don't know if that's the word yeah straight

Starting point is 00:44:32 rounds it's round that's what it is like fudge rounds are basically what every show on MTV is now like MTV doesn't have any mystery what the show is 16 and pregnant that bitch is my mom 21 and horny i want that famous face give me yours i want to be you like these are the names

Starting point is 00:44:53 of all the shows i need a new ass i need a new ass that shit yeah when true true life i need i need a better husband how come she has that is literally a show how come she has that it's like we could pitch how come she has that it's just a bunch of people complaining about the stuff that she got and it's like wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute so that's the fudge rounds is like we're not even messing around we're not making some like star crunch you're like is that a david bowie song i don't even know what that is but like they could have called it moose disc or something like that but they called it fudge round rounds yeah yeah dude yeah that's like a nikki minaj song they they just tell you exactly what's going on get into my fudge rounds all right do you say wet and cushy yeah this is a lot more sex this is I'm excited about how sexual this is. I love it. I'm excited about how sexual this is.

Starting point is 00:45:46 Well, these are, I mean, I knew we were going to say nuts all day. I mean, I knew we were going to say nuts all day, but I thought I was just going to be juvenile and laughing. I didn't think it was going to get drippy.

Starting point is 00:45:54 Well, it's about to get drippy on my next choice. Oh, it's going to get melty. I'm of course going with zebra cakes. Oh, damn. I thought I could get it late.

Starting point is 00:46:03 Thought he could get it late. Classic biracial treat. Classic biracial treat. Classic biracial treat. I mean, we grew up on the Jeffersons. We grew up with a biracial couple as like part of our growing up. To me, it was natural,

Starting point is 00:46:17 as natural as can be. I never even questioned. I'm like, these two people are in love. It doesn't matter. I'm always like, how come more cakes aren't shaped like pentagons that was the one thing where you're like there's there's eight jagged corners on this

Starting point is 00:46:34 tree whose idea was that why did they shape it that way i want my cake to look like the bureaucracy of our defense system. So I remember, I'll never forget on nine 11 when they flew two planes into those hexagon plants into the zebra cakes. Well, they tried and then the guy got them down in the field and whatever. So, you know,

Starting point is 00:46:56 Marky Mark was supposed to be on that plane. He would have, no, that would have happened. He would have taken them all down. Yes, he would. So I do love the,

Starting point is 00:47:03 the zebra cake to me. there was, it was the right amount of sponginess. And at the same time, the chocolate on the outside is so good. And I will take a good white chocolate, but the black lines, the chocolate, darker chocolate lines are so good. It, to me, if you want to talk about in a time where we need harmony between races and whatnot to me it shows me what is possible in this world it shows me i mean it was a it was a lot more white than it was a lot more it was a lot more white than it was a lot yeah just a little bit of i always felt like a snitch because it wasn't chocolate i was like this this makes me look like like i'm a mark or something.

Starting point is 00:47:45 Oh, because you were wearing your Africa pendant at the time? That's right. And you know what snitches get. Snitches get ice cream sandwiches. Yeah, snitches get zebra cakes. I think that's true. They'll take you down to the precinct. Who did it?

Starting point is 00:47:57 Give you a couple zebra cakes. Who did it? They'll put a zebra cake on the table and leave. And then just kind of watch how you handle it. I'm just going to put that there. And maybe your memory will get jogged. Yeah are you sure you don't remember who told you that smokes for the adults zebra cakes for the juveniles i mean if someone put a zebra cake in front of me i'd just start talking about everything oh i'd tell

Starting point is 00:48:18 what sean did yesterday we're gonna spill some tea up in this bitch because the zebra cakes are out your cakes on the your cakes on the table the peppers in the juice and the cakes are on the table let's talk you think you could get your like get get away with that in a card game like i'm out of money but like instead of pulling out a pocket watch you just pull out like a like a crammed up zebra cake one zebra cake and then someone's you gotta like either raise you can't call that a zebra cake you gotta raise my one my one problem with the with the zebra cake is the durability was not there yes it would smash in a locker quick it would but i'm telling you they tasted great if you could put

Starting point is 00:49:00 it to get you could mash it together a little bit because of that chocolate thing had the ability to congeal and stuff on the outside. I'm a fan of it. I'm a fan of it. So I got rolls and zebra cakes. Yeah. Zebra cakes were hot in my high school. That was a big, that was a big snack in high school. I like that.

Starting point is 00:49:16 Yeah. Yeah. They sold them behind the counter. All right. David, it's been forever. What do you got? Following oatmeal, oatmeal, cream pie. I know it feels like. I feel like you got? Falling oatmeal cream pie. I know. It feels like.

Starting point is 00:49:25 I feel like we're coming at this from different angles. I think you guys are bigger into chocolate than me, but I got to stick with what I love. I'm taking the classic. The only little Debbie snack that I would ever do anything to other than just take it out of the package and eat it. What? I'm taking a honey bun.

Starting point is 00:49:45 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They used to put them in the microwave for like 10, 15 seconds. Yeah. Those honey buns. Like if you had a styrofoam cup full of just Sanka coffee, you could have been a cop in the 70s with a honey bun. That was me going to third grade. Just smoking a cig.

Starting point is 00:50:03 A cup of coffee. You're like, I gotta go to third grade? I got three cold case files. I got a big day ahead of me. It's the first 48. Every day, somebody goes by, David, how you doing? Just waiting to die. Too old for this shit. Fuck this, I'm having a hard time.

Starting point is 00:50:21 He literally in third grade said to a teacher, I'm too old for this shit. I'm like, what are you doing? You're in third grade. What are you, too old for this? David was the kid that punched the principal for real in third grade. That kid's dead. I knew a kid that punched the principal. I do, too.

Starting point is 00:50:37 He's dead. He died. That's what happens. You don't live long after you do that. No, you're on borrowed time. You flew too high. Flew too close to the sun there, friend that's it it's like it's like beating up your dad in middle school then what then what do you then what you hit him well you die on principle that is what happens damn if you beat your dad if you beat your dad up in middle school you have to

Starting point is 00:50:59 marry your mom that's the only number are you Are you really ready to start paying bills? Okay. And then you prove that you are. You got to get a job now. Okay. All right. You get the big room? Yeah. Okay.

Starting point is 00:51:15 Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, man. Honey buns. We used to get them on road trips, but you had to keep them in the wrapper. That was my thing. Because you had to undress it bit by bit. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:23 Because it was so sticky. I mean, they were a nightmare. They were so sticky. But great with a hot beverage. My high school used to have, you could get a honey bun, and then they had those shitty cappuccino machines, like the hot, super sweet. Those things were just, if you weren't a kid,

Starting point is 00:51:39 you'd get instant diarrhea from those. If you weren't like 15 or 16 or whatever, now it would just go straight through. It would burn a whole like acid all the way through my intestines. I would get a honey bun and one of those cappuccinos and then go to lift weights. Yeah. Canceling out any good that you were doing. I'm going to go to sports and fitness after i eat these 7 000 sugar calories yeah those cappuccinos

Starting point is 00:52:07 were not like i'm a health nut but they were just raw liquid candy sure what they went well with was a fucking little debbie a honey bun a honey bun category because my next pick oh i think i can i think i can get this last. I don't know, man. I think I'm going to go with my next pick. I don't think any of you guys were going to take it because this is a sort of obscure little Debbie, but it is in the family. I'm taking the donut sticks. The donut sticks.

Starting point is 00:52:39 That was going to be my next pick. I love a donut stick. That was going to be next for me. I love the donut stick. Came with two of be next for me. I love a donut stick. Came with two of them. Also went good with those cappuccinos or like hot chocolate or whatever you want to do. It was dense. Kind of felt hearty.

Starting point is 00:52:54 Like a meal more. But a treat. That felt like the most good for you. Felt like the least candy-ish. Right. Because it had bread that was not touching frosting. Right. At some point in it like way in the middle it felt like too cheap almost it was it was one of those ones where you're like really

Starting point is 00:53:12 okay all right and it felt like a real donut yeah yeah i love the donut sticks donut sticks yeah i absolutely i'm i'm right there with you i was really i was gonna pick them next i honest i Yeah, I love the donut sticks. Donut sticks. Yeah, absolutely. I'm right there with you. I was going to pick them next. Honestly, I thought I could get those last. Yeah, I was thinking, well, there's one thing I think that I can get away. We'll talk about it when we get there. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:35 Now we're getting a little more specific. Stuff's getting eaten up, though. Stuff's getting eaten up. We ate up. Now it's going to be like regional or something. And I'm like, are you guys happy? Have you had the Peruvian Little Debbie Steddy? Have you had the Pittsburgh Puffs? I don't know what that is.

Starting point is 00:53:49 There is the Cusco Crookies that have cocaine in them. Cocaine and just a small bit of a little dirt from Machu Picchu. You've not had those? No, you're not. It's in a cake form. Alright, who's next? Who's next? Is it Jay? Randy, you're up. It's not. Come on. It's in a cake. It's in a cake form. All right.

Starting point is 00:54:05 Who's next? Who's next? Is it Jay? Randy, you're up. I'm up. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So I'm going to go with the, and again, I'm still going on nostalgia to ones that we had when we were kids.

Starting point is 00:54:16 These are things that we had as cakes when we were kids. And I really did like this, but it's hard to find because it's not on the website right now. I'm talking about the Devil Squares.bie devil squares so they are those were fudge in the middle too right well so no no it's a cake in the middle with a white cream like just in the center of it they're little squares but chocolate over the entire thing with ribbons of chocolate it was like it was like the fancy it was like the it was like the fancy. It was like the... So the fancy's another,

Starting point is 00:54:46 but this is the devil squares. And it is invoking the Lord. No, but I mean, this is like the top shelf. Yeah, top shelf. But it is invoking the Lord of the underworld. It's bringing the devil

Starting point is 00:54:56 into his back. You're bringing about, like, there is no God in Little Debbie's world. There is only the devil. There is only the Prince of Darkness and the Prince of Darkness. She has no angel food cake. There is only the devil. There is only the prince of darkness. She has no angel food cake. She only has devil cakes.

Starting point is 00:55:10 She knows what works. She's a deviant. She is a sexual and social deviant Little Debbie. Devil cakes get delivered to me by way of the river sticks. They came to me from the underworld. Donut sticks.

Starting point is 00:55:25 Donut sticks. Very good, John. way of the river sticks they came to me from the underworld donut sticks yeah don't river very good john so uh yeah so i'm out here i like that very good shot very good shoot shoot shoot take your shot man that's me it always felt like that's very fancy like it was it was in cursive on the box right there you go the devil doesn't know manuscript man and you can always just say the devil made me do it that's why i ate five of them mom the devil made me do it and i wouldn't go in most of the house no no that's a great pick thank you thank you next pick i'm going i didn't get these a lot these were ones that we got in boxes uh and they were kind of a rarity but when we got them i felt really special where the strawberry shortcake roll okay oh yeah pretty much just the the ho-ho

Starting point is 00:56:18 but strawberry i believe those were seasonal yeah they a broke kid, it was me being like zombie. So today is a health day, I guess. We're doing the strawberry. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I was eating fruit today. Yeah. Well, you are. I'm going to go pump some iron after this.

Starting point is 00:56:38 Now, Mom, all of our fruit comes out of a can. Did this come out of a can? I don't see a way this was going to work. A lot of jelly. It's basically like jelly on a cake yeah but it's also cream it's got the it's got the two-in-one yeah i mean it's a it's a ho-ho just it's vanilla or whatever whatever cake like white vanilla cake and then strawberry and cream rolled up and just still these are very short cake rolls yeah i remember though that's a good that's a good solid pick that's a great colorful And just still. These are strawberry shortcake rolls. Yeah. I remember, though.

Starting point is 00:57:07 That's a good solid pick. That's a great pick. Colorful. Had the red on there. Yeah, if you're feeling fruity. If you're feeling fruity, that's all you, baby. And they did have, like, lots of strawberries on the packaging. Oh, absolutely they did. So they're kind of encouraging. This is much healthier than what we normally give you, which, by the way, absolutely they did. So they're kind of encouraging.

Starting point is 00:57:25 This is much healthier than what we normally give you, which, by the way, it's not. It's, again, just straight jelly, straight sugar and jelly and then cream and a twinkie. It was twinkiesque if you want to get into colors and stuff. If you look really quickly, someone would be like, what's that twinkie? Wait, how come that twinkie has red stuff in it?

Starting point is 00:57:42 That's essentially what it is. Yeah, why is your twinkie bleeding? I mean, yeah, no, it is like a and and if you it's basically like twinkie bleeding could mean so many things i yeah again it's getting drippy mama what happened well she made my twinkie bleed i'll tell you what i'll tell you what didn't happen put that tampon in my lunch and let's go yeah i thought smuckers was good for you up until like four years ago. Ian was like doggo schmucks. Smuckers the jam? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:08 Would you eat it in place of fruit? Like, I don't have time for an apple. I'm just going to get a scoop of Smuckers. I'd have a peanut butter. At the beginning of COVID, I was having PB&Js before I went to bed, and Ian's like, what's a bad call, man? You're having PB&Js before bed? What are you doing?

Starting point is 00:58:23 Like after dinner? You're having after dinner PB&J's? For a little snack, I'd have it like 10 at night. I'd have a little PB&J and Ian's like, it's sugar and candy. Ian, do not do that. Ian's lost 1,500 pounds. Like you gotta trust that dude. You were drinking.

Starting point is 00:58:41 That's crazy. The sugar didn't get you. You were just able to go to sleep? Sean's like, but I just ate a Thanksgiving dinner before I went to bed. What is wrong with you? Don't worry about my health. I had a strawberry short quake roll earlier.

Starting point is 00:58:57 Why is everyone coming down on me? I simply broke Kobayashi's hot dog eating record every night at 11 before bed. Why am I a bad person? 72 hot dogs and their buns dipped in water in 12 minutes. Why is everybody coming down on me? I've never slept so well in my life. I was being nice.

Starting point is 00:59:14 I'm not going to go out there being rude to my neighbors. I'm just doing what I do in my privacy in my own home, in my own basement with the lights off. Yeah. Love it. Anyway, very short cake rolls. Yeah, that's a great point. DJ, hit us with three and four, playboy. So I'm telling you right now i can't believe randy hasn't picked this this is the closest i would say little debbie came to a candy bar peanut butter crunch bars yeah

Starting point is 00:59:39 wait a minute no i'm thinking of something different. What are those? Peanut butter crunch bars. Go look them up. They were, it was like chocolate on the outside, like a cookie around on the inside of that. And then peanut butter in the middle. Oh yeah. I know those are top tier. They have caramel on them.

Starting point is 00:59:57 No, no. You're saying picks. No caramel peanut butter crunch bars. Those are good straight fire they're unbelievable that's a good snack it's like a candy bar but bigger you know in the same family as the as the uh sorry yeah same family as what same family as the uh as the nutty bars it's in the bar section yeah um i would almost call it an energy bar because it gave me energy there you go it's now you're on my now you're on my wavelength energy to crash energy to logic that's the kind of logic you need to get through stuff like this i love it yeah

Starting point is 01:00:38 peanut butter crunch bar yeah that's a great that's a great pick yeah i don't think i don't think i ever actually laid eyes on one there you go jay bringing out new ones i love those ones those ones were also kind of rare i feel like they were a little rare but that wasn't an everyday situation but man were they gonna occasion little debbie yeah that's like you just graduated 10th grade 8th grade which which grades are the grades you graduate? That's great. Everyone is. Every grade I grad. Dude, I think I've told you this, David. So when I was in high school for one year, they did this award.

Starting point is 01:01:13 It was called the most improved whatever your grade was. So they came to my homeroom and they were like, hey, you got an academic achievement award in the morning. And I was like, there's no possible way that happened. But they were like well no you did so then it came down to uh pep rally time and they called two freshmen two sophomores two juniors two seniors down and they were like they gave us the most i got the most improved senior award which basically meant your junior year was so hard terrible and i did so bad and my senior year was just study halls that they were like, you went from Fs all the way to study halls.

Starting point is 01:01:46 So it was insane. You could see on their faces, they're like, oh, we probably should never. And they never, ever did it again. They did it one time. I guess people didn't really improve that much is what you're saying. Yeah. I was, yeah. So anyway, I graduated every grade.

Starting point is 01:02:00 Everyone was a part of it. Nice. Figured out their system. I love it. So now this is kind of a cheat so so for a long time little debbie was trying to approximate hostess and they and they crossed the line and they really basically straight up copyrighted it with chocolate cupcakes absolutely cupcakes is what essentially like vanilla ice licensing

Starting point is 01:02:24 like under pressure yeah remember when his description of that is like see they go do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do and i my song goes do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do we're like that sounds like the same it's the same thing no no it's different and then they're like you know the crazy thing you sang you sang a different song to Suge Knight. Yeah, Suge Knight had Lil Debbie over a balcony for the rights to the chocolate cupcakes, which is crazy.

Starting point is 01:02:51 I'm about to drop your cupcakes in that pool down below. I mean, they didn't even mess around with not doing the swirly, you know, chain link, the white sort of swirly across the middle. I bet you they had one less, like just one thing different. Was that it? Like no swirls? Maybe. I mean, it looks so much

Starting point is 01:03:13 like a hostess cupcake, chocolate cupcake, you know, cream filled in the center. I mean, you can't fault them. It's like they're covering something great. They were not as good. They weren't. It literally looks exactly like it it's exactly you could tell because it was like crunchier almost like the little debbie you're

Starting point is 01:03:32 like this is a little debbie it feels like this is a quarter was the same either right because hostess had like the fancy packaging and then you pull it out and it had like the little carton bottom with two right yeah with two in it and it was shaped in the shape of the bottom of the cupcake was the cartons this was not that this day they didn't have that this came in the box cupcakes just a bunch of unwrapped dangling around cupcakes in the wild wild cupcakes yeah these cupcakes were all touching each other in the box but they're good there i wouldn't worry about it all those icing bumps all right yeah the chocolate cupcake they did they went for it though that's good they did they were like we don't throw throw caution and copyright infringement to the wind yeah at this point

Starting point is 01:04:22 we don't give a fuck we don't we really don't yeah it was like some new visionary vp's first day and they're just like you know what we're gonna do we're gonna steal the idea we're just gonna do it yeah we're gonna do we're gonna do what everyone's been talking about you know someone in the meeting was like let them try and show us someone in the meeting was like hey man you don't ask for permission you ask for forgiveness bitch and then when you when you had the headhunter come and get me from the hostess corporation you didn't think this was gonna happen what did you think i'm jerry hostess and i'm trying to butt fuck the family fortune that's right yeah that's why he's like i had lunch with

Starting point is 01:04:58 vince of command earlier and he told me to do this and we're gonna do it let him call me i want them to call me and then under his breath is like, going to cut me out of the will. What will? The world's going to burn down when I put this out. Going to cut me out. Took a blowtorch to their sails. Took a chunk right out of their thing.

Starting point is 01:05:17 Going to tell me I can't make my own cupcake. There's a lot of going to tell me and then next. This is like when DirecTV came out with the DVR and stuck it right to TiVo. That's where we are. I can't pause live shit? There we go.

Starting point is 01:05:33 Rewind it. Take that. Rewind it back. Little Debbie's got the cupcakes to make the booty go smack. That's damn. Put it on my tombstone. All on wax. All on wax.

Starting point is 01:05:48 All of it. All right. Chocolate cupcakes. Fantastic. Coming hot off the heels of chocolate cupcakes, I'm going to go seasonal. And they didn't do a ton of seasonal, but I'm doing the Little Debbie, the Christmas trees. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:00 The Christmas tree cakes. I always thought Little Debbie was Jewish. They're basically zebra cakes. But, yeah. You never saw the Little I always thought Little Debbie was Jewish. Zebra cakes. But, yeah. You never saw the Little Debbie Hana cakes that they had? Did you call it Hana? Dreidel cakes. Dreidel cakes doesn't sound good.

Starting point is 01:06:15 I don't think. Sweet latkes. Please bleep out when I just said dreidel cakes, please. Chocolate latkes. There we go. So, no, the Christmas ones, I remember those yeah i do i do remember those those were good they were yeah they were great i mean real right down main street it was just a zebra cake with red and green on it that that made me be like oh this is what was in the was

Starting point is 01:06:35 it just cream in the middle right it wasn't colored it wasn't red and green cream right what did peppermint flavor what was the was their special flavoring? I'm looking at the box. I mean, it just really looks like the, yeah, it's cream in the middle. They had like the little green like crunchy things on top. Oh, yeah. They had a little crunch. Yeah. What am I fucking word?

Starting point is 01:06:57 Mints? Sugar bombs? No. The little cristally crunchy things they had. It's the same thing that's on top of the chocolate cosmic brownies. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. It's the same situation. I don't know what they're little crystal-y crunchy things they had it's the same thing that's on top of the chocolate cosmic brownies yeah that's right yeah

Starting point is 01:07:06 it's the same same same same situation I don't know what they're called

Starting point is 01:07:09 green guys with the red lines and they were in the shape of Christmas trees so yeah

Starting point is 01:07:13 more points if you like a pointy treat they got the points got you covered on

Starting point is 01:07:17 this one yeah their points definitely definitely hit the spread all right

Starting point is 01:07:21 I love it sports sports stuff solid anyway the little Debbie Christmas tree cakes.

Starting point is 01:07:27 That is my fourth pick. And yeah, coming at us. What do you got, Rand? I've got the Little Debbie because everybody loves it. I love the fact that they tried to approximate it. And again, this was the zebra. It was not the zebra cake, so it wasn't like the hexagonal thing, but it was the zebra style, long kind of thin cake. It was like the more rectangle cake.

Starting point is 01:07:49 I'm doing the little Debbie birthday cakes. Yeah. So, you know, you know how like when it's your birthday, you said, I don't want a regular birthday cake. I want a little Debbie tiny birthday cake. And it had different colored little things on top of it. Like someone just threw a bunch of confetti onto it. Oh yeah. And you know what I mean? So white cake, white vanilla on the inside with the cream. And the reason I did this, okay. The reason I did this is because David,

Starting point is 01:08:16 I know you're on the backside of this, looking at that cosmic brownie and I didn't want to take it from you. I actually might've switched it up. Did you? So I was trying to be nice about that, but I, you know, and that is my birthday gift. I was feeling generous in a birthday sort of a way that was going to be my birthday gift to you. But I do think like the fact that they have birthday cakes is like so presumptuous that anyone would be like, what do you want for your birthday?

Starting point is 01:08:43 Just get a bunch of little Debbies and throw them out there. That's the worst birthday. That's the birthday you realize dad's probably not coming back. He's not coming. No, he's not coming back. And he may never be coming back. And he loves his new family so much.

Starting point is 01:08:58 He loves his new family like a left turn and just kept going is what dad did. You're just going to have to teach yourself how to hit a baseball. You're like, did dad at least pay for these? No, he doesn't have the money. Okay, so can we talk about dad who went

Starting point is 01:09:13 to the store for cigarettes and never came back? How much did he not care about his clothes? He's just given up a whole about a kid's worth, I think. Where they're just like, I'd rather get a new wardrobe than have to face the people that i created i always got the feeling that it was like the other family across town is good this is the last

Starting point is 01:09:37 like he had already he had spent months sick getting right you like you know how they say like a woman knows a woman mentally broke up with you months before she actually I think it's like that kind of thing where he was socking away and this is the last straw he gave you signs that he wasn't coming back and the first sign was

Starting point is 01:09:57 happy birthday here are your little Debbie birthday cakes the last thing he gave you was that he's like alright I to catch this flight, but here's a birthday cake. Also, if it's not your birthday, remember when Diana Ross, this is how crazy Diana Ross was at the,

Starting point is 01:10:15 I want to say the Academy Awards. The Academy Awards. Or maybe it was the Grammys. I don't know. It was sometime in March, and Diana Ross was at her award show and she just stops. Everything's like,

Starting point is 01:10:27 I want everybody to sing happy birthday to me. And everyone's saying happy birthday to her. And I'm like, that's crazy. She got everybody to do that. Then I started looking up online and I was like, this bitch's birthday is in May. What is happening?

Starting point is 01:10:40 Eating the birthday cakes in another month. That isn't your birthday. what does that say about you you've become anna ross finally that's what i said about that finally yeah she amazing yeah now david it is time for your it is time for your fourth and fifth picks as it is a serpentine draft. Before we get to your next pick, we are going to take another quick break. Look at this guy. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel.

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Starting point is 01:13:34 Rules and restrictions may apply. And we are back. Welcome back to All Fantasy. Everything already in progress. We are talking about gooey, drippy, little Debbie snack cakes. David Bore, it is time for your fourth and fifth picks as it is a serpentine draft. Give us that sexy number four, baby.

Starting point is 01:13:52 Fourth pick. I always felt like this was basically like an ice cream sandwich, but dry. Dry ice cream, dude. I'm taking the devil creams. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Yes, I do. That's what I thought. That was a a long thin like almost like a thin that was the one with caramel in it

Starting point is 01:14:12 right no no no the devil cream was just like cream in the middle yeah it looks like a it looks like a stretched out oreo yes dude that was my nickname in prep school also a racist uh yeah they did bad stuff in the 1960s i'm moms maybe and i'm jack smothers and we're stretched out by the way i would watch that i would totally watch one of the smothers brothers and moms mabley in stretched out oreo i would watch that in a second and i bet it would be hilarious yeah it would be really good because i feel like there would be like a strange sexual tension you didn't exactly exactly oh will they or won't they

Starting point is 01:14:59 they will they will am i calling them uh the devil creams devil creams they're solid that's a good one god damn it's a good one and then to close i i was gonna do but after the brownie scare i switched up my last idea and i'm surprised that this is still on the board i'm taking the caramel cookie bars okay caramel cookie bar was like uh it was distinguished you know what i mean it was adult yeah it was a long cookie bar right i uh it was distinguished you know what i mean it was adult yeah it was a long cookie bar right i mean i sound like a dullard here but it was a long crunchy chocolate covered caramel cookie bar yeah which i would eat right now if you gave me five of these right now and said you better eat these your kids are gonna die i'll be like i'll

Starting point is 01:15:42 eat them i'll eat them i'll eat them and i'll do it yes gone to my head you could have just said you better eat these yeah those were good too another one of the classy ones solid a lot of they're all classy the only ones that aren't classy are the ones that like get all over your hands but the rest like a honey bun's not classy you know but it's still. They're all classy in their own way. Classy and dank, the two. Yeah, I digress. You digress. Great descriptors. Okay.

Starting point is 01:16:11 All right, man. Last one. My last one. My boy. Okay. I'm going to do. Light it up. Here we go.

Starting point is 01:16:18 Marshmallow pies. Did you already do those yet? You haven't done those yet, have you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Marshmallow pies. They are so good because they're the it's the chocolate and then it's this i don't even know what the brown cookie it's a cookie it's like a cookie type thing underneath and then the marshmallow in between they tried to approximate

Starting point is 01:16:39 uh s'mores but obviously it's not it's not uh you know it's not whatever yeah it's not graham cracker but it's it just it has that thing of like there's chocolate then there's a light round sort of uh cookie-ish type crusty type thing and then the and then the thing in the middle so there's by the way there's a chocolate marshmallow pie and then there's another one that's like a lighter kind of vanilla-ish but the whole thing was coated, right? Right. The whole thing is coated. And again, the coating is that thing that you can't find in nature. And you just say to yourself, this is bad for everybody, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And I think that like, it's ballsy to go to cook with, to try and mess with

Starting point is 01:17:21 marshmallows. I love that little Debbie tried to fucks with marshmallows and she did it. And I'm like, let's do it. I get it. Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, marshmallow pies, last pick. Now I'm going, I don't even know, I don't quite know how to describe these, but they're the Lil Debbie

Starting point is 01:17:38 mini donuts. And I'm picking the crunchy, they're like coconut maybe? The star? Yeah, the ones with the crunch. You know what I'm picking the crunchy one. They're like coconut maybe? The star? Yeah, the ones with the crunch. Those were the best ones. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, maybe.

Starting point is 01:17:48 Yes. I loved those. Another run at Hostess, I feel like. Yeah. Dog, for days. And a run at Intimins, I want to say. They were like, oh, yeah, we can do this too. We can do this too.

Starting point is 01:18:01 I can swipe at you guys at the same swing. That was always, those were more rare, though, guys at the same swing that was always those were more rare though because there were six of them and i those were not a quarter those were like at minimum 50 cents because you remember when they had the big nutty bars that were like four or something that were 50 cents you could buy i think the donuts were 50 cents too so i didn't get those as much and also i didn't really i didn't really take down six donuts like that too often, but when I did, I, you know,

Starting point is 01:18:26 it's still, it's pretty, pretty beefy task anymore. But back, back when I was young and dumb, yes. Yeah. Six crunchy mini donuts.

Starting point is 01:18:35 It was what I said for my last pick. So good. Am I closing this out with the final pick? So the final pick in the draft for me, and I, and I hate that it feels like on some level i'm piggybacking on what randy just did but i'm gonna do a different incarnation of the marshmallow pie and i'm gonna do the banana marshmallow pie okay on color alone it was the yellow banana

Starting point is 01:19:01 version of the marshmallow pie. Yeah. And surprisingly delicious banana flavor mixed in with the cookie, mixed in with the marshmallow came in a green box that had a picture of a banana and two marshmallows right next to it. That looked like balls and the banana looked like a cock. It's fantastic. Right. Talk about it.

Starting point is 01:19:22 It's not Mr. Relevant. This is not Mr. Relevant. This is Mr this is mr relevant this is relevant when you're talking in a draft this is the kind of like it's a brock purdy it's a flex pick it's a late pick in the draft that could value pick value pick it could win it could win you role player the banana marshmallow i it to me is something that could win you the game. I think it's substance as much as style.

Starting point is 01:19:47 I think you hit it. It's form and function. Marshmallow things I forgot. It's like one of the greatest cookies of all time is the Malamar, which was basically that. It was their version of a larger version of the Malamar. Also, here we go back into the world of health. We're eating fruit again. So it looks like we got a couple health nuts our bananas really we were never eating yeah yeah a couple of us are out here eating bananas and strawberries and the rest of you

Starting point is 01:20:16 are just rubbing your snacks on the toilet and doing whatever the devil wants you to do right it's the devil's cakes i and i have to admit this because we're all friends i did not know how to spell marshmallow until the last two times i spelled it wrong on my computer and the first time i spelled it wrong i was like what a stupid fucking computer and the second time i go surely this is my mistake you thought the computer spelled marshmallow wrong i thought it was mellow it's mallow mallow marshmallow i thought it was marsh mellow like you need to watch the sandlot where he tells them how to make spores you definitely don't need to watch the sandlot and i will go to bat on against that movie over and over and over

Starting point is 01:20:57 this is a whole different draft first of all this is a whole other podcast we've talked about artifact i cannot endorse that movie at all in any way shape why yeah yeah pretty crappy this take that's why no no no i sat and watched it and i was like look man this just is not doing it for me it's the only reason people like it is that they i mean is that they watched it at a certain point in time in their life you cannot no no it's not a good movie guys it's not this isn't space jam this is the sandlot we're talking no no it's not a good movie, guys. It's not. This isn't Space Jam. This is the Sandlot we're talking about. No, no, no. It's not good. The Sandlot is good. Put the Sandlot up against the Bad News Bears, the original Bad News Bears. I'm telling you, your ass will get whooped every time.

Starting point is 01:21:34 Yeah, I mean, those bears were bad. They were smoking cigs and having sex. You can't. That's different. They were the best. Well, yeah, just because that's the best, though, doesn't mean the Sandlot sucked. Sandlot's great. Sandlot is not great.

Starting point is 01:21:44 Come on. I would argue that you guys need to watch it again and then get back great it's one of the only times i could stomach dennis leary in the sandlot he was yeah he was the angry stepdad he's got stepdad face from way back it's tough to believe that a kid that age of any at any age in that time did not know who babe ruth that's that's a tough sell but other than that was it as tough as a sell is why the cool kids suddenly want to become friends with this other rando kid for no reason you know how never so never happened how the coolest kid in school is always like if you told

Starting point is 01:22:21 me i'll tell you this feels personal nope i'm telling you if the cool kid like was gay and then it was like look this is why he and it comes out that and that's what this movie is about now i'm back on board with the sandlot maybe he was gay he had that baby then tell it you want to go watch a great movie about kids acting like real kids go back and watch my bodyguard oh my god that movie i don't even know what that is go watch it it's an unbelievable movie in the night in like early early 80s like 80 81 is it depressing because kids acting like kids when i was a kid was kind of a bummer it's beautiful it is it is beautiful and it is kind of depressing and it's way better than the piece of shit sandlot that

Starting point is 01:23:05 you guys this is crazy listen i also thought bad boys with sean penn felt real but that's not a better kids movie that's true bad boys by the way bad boys was an amazing movie and i think a pillowcase full of cokes get out of here get out of here one of the rare times my dad wanted to like actually kick it was to make me watch bad boy the sean penn bad boys i was like yeah i don't know that kid that movie was rough that movie was crazy the fact that like the little river band was playing in the transistor radio that blew up in that guy's ear. Unbelievable. It had electronics crime in the thing. If you haven't seen the OG Bad Boys.

Starting point is 01:23:50 Amazing. If you're not in a great mood, don't be in a great mood when you watch it. Be in a bad mood. Don't have your kids in the room when you watch it. Do not. That shit. It's not like a Michael Bay Bad Boys.

Starting point is 01:24:00 No. It's not like a... It's the exact opposite of a Michael Bay. There's no Martin Qu's no martin quips no it's just sean penn getting through it sean pitt this is like to me that was the the movie that like all right he could do but he could do dead man walking he's been in a prison before he's got it directed um god damn it who directed platoon oliver stone this is like an oliver type. Yeah, Oliver Stone did like juvenile detention. This is what it would be.

Starting point is 01:24:27 It's the scariest juvie movie ever. There's a lot of scary juvie movies. By the way, juvie movies, that's a great way to describe that era of boys and that age of like, let's put it in the context of juvie movies. That's the next time you guys come on.

Starting point is 01:24:44 We'll draft juvie movies. We'll do juvie movies. that's the next time you guys come on we'll drop juvie movies we'll do juvie movies juvie movie go watch my bodyguard go watch my bodyguard it's great movies is next i love it but we got through little debbie's i love that we did yes all right yes we did um now well first actually before we before we're done marissa do you have a pick for little debbie's i know it was stolen yeah i'm gonna pick a to pick a seasonal pick. It's the Be My Valentine cakes. Oh, coming up. Yeah, they're like little heart shaped filled cakes. They're filled with a cream

Starting point is 01:25:12 and they have a vanilla icing drizzle. I didn't really grow up on Little Debbies too much, but getting or giving one of these on Valentine's Day when you're a kid, like that meant a lot. That meant someone seriously had a crush on you. I'm definitely that alone.

Starting point is 01:25:27 I'm definitely getting some play. Is there a Canadian version of like Little Debbie's that we might not be privy to? We also had hostess. We do have some companies. Like Tim Hort and Debbie's or something. I was just looking it up.

Starting point is 01:25:36 In fact, since November, so since a few months ago, you can no longer get Little Debbie in Canada. They stopped distributing some there. Yeah, after they, well, there was Little Debbie Accords.

Starting point is 01:25:47 That was all over the news. That was taken away during NAFTA. Oh, I'm sorry. That was taken away during NAMBLA. Another reason to take Biden down. I'm mad, seriously. No, I'm surprised you didn't go for the unicorn cakes. No one got those.

Starting point is 01:26:02 The unicorn cakes were Little Debbie. Like a pancake and a birthday cake. Yeah, it was a specialty one. I thought somebody was going to get the fall cakes. Yeah, the fall cakes. I mean, there's a lot of stuff. Well, to recap real quick. So, David, you went first.

Starting point is 01:26:16 You took oatmeal cream pie, honey bun, donut stick, devil cream, and caramel cookie bars. Randy, you went second. You took Swiss rolls, zebra cakes, devilakes, Devil Squares, Birthday Cakes, and Marshmallow with an A. Thank you. Marshmallow Pies. Thank you. Chaboy went third.

Starting point is 01:26:32 I picked Nutty Bars, Fudge Round, Strawberry Shortcake Rolls, Christmas Tree Cakes, and Six Crunchy Mini Donuts. J Train brought it home at the end. Star Crunchies, Fudge Brownie, Peanut Butter Crunch Bar, Chocolate Cupcake, Banana Marshmallow. Everybody did great.

Starting point is 01:26:47 To me, I feel like all the best players got distributed. I wish every sports league was this evenly distributed. There's so much parody in this little Debbie league. There's so much parody in this league. Yeah, and we have no super teams. You know what I mean? Everybody's, this is great. Imagine a kid showing up and his lunch was just one of our lists like

Starting point is 01:27:05 that or their lunch one of my kids got just that in the lunch they'd be like this is the greatest day ever is it my birthday oh it must be because there's a birthday cake in my thing you're welcome they'd be at school and some kid would come and be like oh your parents are going to tell you they're getting divorced tonight or they love you so much yeah this is it's got last supper vibes for sure yeah yeah bad news around the corner that's how good this lunch is this is not sustainable well gentlemen uh thank you so much for coming we did it we drafted little debbie's uh it was thrilling it was so fun to have you on next time we've already established it's going to be Juvie movies. Juvie movies. And yeah, that is it. Thanks, man.

Starting point is 01:27:47 We'd love to hear your picks. Hit us up on Instagram. Hit us up on Twitter. Email us at allfantasypod at gmail.com. Oh, and did the Sklar brothers have anything they want to promote, such as your podcast? Yeah, I would say...

Starting point is 01:28:01 Did I not ask you? You did. You did at the beginning, but I don't think we mentioned our podcast dumb people town which I think your fans would love it is and you guys all have to do it so let's make that happen at some point

Starting point is 01:28:14 absolutely if there's anybody not listening to that it's a travesty if anybody listens to this show of course you will love that show too it's just us breaking down dumb stories happening in the world and it's the every discussion we had on here but about people doing dumb stupid things like trying to rob houses with their cats you get it dude this guy so back when i lived in south dakota we went we used to go to this bar for lunch when i worked at the call center was called wild

Starting point is 01:28:39 willies we'd go drink beers on our lunch break yeah and we went there one day and there was a giant hole in the side of the wall and we're like what happened and the dude he said someone came up drilled holes in the wall hooked up a like a uh belt to the atm and then attach it to their truck and just drove away with the truck they drove it through the wall fast and furious style drove down like a mile and then got caught they were just gonna steal an atm machine the whole thing the whole thing with no here's some question how do you open it up do you think with unlimited resource not unlimited do you think with your life right now if you had whatever however much money you have and the skills you have and someone put you in a room with an atm and said open get this open do you think you could

Starting point is 01:29:21 do it in like a week no in a week maybe in a week maybe in a week tools and stuff maybe maybe you can take however much money you have in the bank currently you can use all that and you can go get whatever tools you think you might need yeah to open the atm david yeah maybe i think isn't there like an ink pack that's gonna explode in my face or something that's only in a bank but you can't just like that's i got all the tools though i don't think i could do it i wouldn't know what to do it'd be like if someone gave me all the tools for identity theft and i'd be like i don't i still don't know this is a weird question to pose at the end of the podcast during the outro yeah well think about it until the next time oh could you guys tell us about you from the cheap seats

Starting point is 01:30:04 podcast yeah view from the cheapats is our sports podcast. If there are sports fans watching this and listening to this, then you should absolutely check that out. It's our daily, it's our weekly look at the week in sports. And I say week in sports, I mean the W-E-A-K. We look at what just happened. If someone wants to deliver a door dash to a WNBA game or a women's

Starting point is 01:30:25 basketball game on the court, we will be there to make fun of it. You know what I mean? It's, it's, it's all that stuff. And then our take on the biggest issues in the world of sports, their funny voicemails and all this other stuff.

Starting point is 01:30:35 It's just, to me, it's something we've been doing for 13 years. This podcast in various forms, it was club, our country now it's free from the cheap seats. And we do that all, both our podcasts are on All Things Comedy

Starting point is 01:30:45 so check it out you can see it see them on YouTube and check it on All Things Comedy's YouTube page and that's it

Starting point is 01:30:51 hell yeah I should have done that up top it's alright it's all good we got it in I tried I meant to don't get out of your head

Starting point is 01:31:00 it's RDO we're RDO you guys are all in there rent free right now well thank you seriously very fun this is a big this is very very. I'm in my head. You guys are all in there rent-free right now. Well, thank you. Seriously, very fun. This is a big,

Starting point is 01:31:07 this is very, very fun. I'm very excited that we got to do this. We are too. And yeah, shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Saint,

Starting point is 01:31:17 Sue Carmel. And more importantly than all that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of Shout Out to the Patreon. Shout out to the Patreon. Jesus Christ. Shout out to everybody on our patreon obviously you're putting food in maxine's mouth i appreciate it shout out to the subreddit shout out to the shish slackity uh and i think i covered

Starting point is 01:31:35 all the bases more importantly than all that please tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy, everything. Sha-clackity! That was a hate gun podcast.

All Fantasy Everything - Little Debbie Snacks (w/ The Sklar Brothers)

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