All Fantasy Everything - Magazine Covers (w/ Alex Wong, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

The covers? We cover them. Sean, David and Ian welcome Alex Wong to draft the greatest magazine covers of all time.  Click here for a visual guide of all of the magazine covers picked.  Guest: Alex Wong @steven_lebron IG: @stevenlebron Book: Cover Story Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy. Merch: teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverything Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting magazine covers. And joining us today is NBA writer and author Alex Wong. In addition to co-hosting The Raptors Show on Sportsnet, he just published his new book, Cover Story,

a behind-the-scenes look at some of the most iconic basketball magazine covers in history. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and we're joined, as always, by my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where two of us are matching. Yeah, we are. Yeah. Big old dicks and mustaches. And the podcast where two of us are in Portland, but the two people who are matching and the two people in Portland are not the same.

And two Canadians on this podcast. And two Canadians on this one. Fuck, dude. International waters, dude. Also, two dudes with three balls. Yeah. Two dudes with three balls. Two people who competed in the 1998

winter olympics in nagano yeah two got that going for us two of carrie struggs groomsman as well there's two strangers on the call there's two two strangers on the call dude there's two uh there's there's there's two intercontinental belt holders. Two members of Parliament on the podcast today. And two members of British Parliament the 1942 session. We got Whigs and Tories.

Both Bolivian presidents. Both current Bolivian presidents. Both the shadow government and the current president, dude. They're both on the podcast today. The one that runs things and the one that's the face? Mm-hmm. I'm watching Narcos. I got some conspiracies going on.

Okay, that's where it's coming from. Yeah, dude. The call's coming from inside the house. La Casa. I love that fucking show. That makes me be like, you know, being a D-Age in Juarez would kind of be dank. That's how good that show is. That'd be the worst job in the world. That'd be that show is. That'd be the worst job in the world.

That'd be the worst job in the whole world. It'd be terrifying. It would be a terrible job and you would be extra bad at it. Oh, God. Sorry, guys. I'm sorry to do this. You're so nice. Let's go to jail. Alex, you can chime in whenever, dude. No, I'm trying to do the Canadian thing where I'm super polite.

Just talk like every five minutes. I already do that. That's Sean's job. I got too much respect for this podcast. I'm trying to do the Canadian thing where I'm super polite. Just talk like every five minutes and stuff like that. That's Sean's job. No, I got too much respect for this podcast. I love the banter up top. I can't wait to hear about the serpentine rule, all that stuff. Don't worry, Sean's going to blow it.

David's got a pretty thick skull, so it's hard to get through. It's taken 200-some episodes. I am a dumb fella. I'm a brick david bory is in a biplane circling uh la paz right now if it sounds weird yeah i'm sorry guys i i usually nail it i i i forgot my dongle i you know what i think we just chalked this up to poor producing by one marissa melnick i think that's what this comes down to it's just a flagrant disregard for audio quality guys 1700 episodes i'm gonna forget my dongle once it's gonna happen it's gonna happen i don't even have a dongle anymore yeah there's some of that content there's some of that fucking content sean's post dongle dude i moved up let's get let's talk about this i moved a piano yesterday what's up

talk to me i think i made a roger rabbit joke already i will not do it again you got people in your life who are taking advantage of your friendship that's my angle this is a brother-in-law we taking advantage of your brother-in-law in law it's tough because i was like yeah let's move the piano and it boy it is i mean of course but it's tough to move a piano of course it's tough they make cartoons about it it's all it it was the main way cartoons died that's how they kill the most playful people i have a tough time paying for movers i have a tough time with it. I will help move because the whole principle... Do you have anything like that where you're just like,

I'm not... Like parking. I don't like paying for parking if I can avoid it. I'll drive around for an hour. I'll go an hour early to avoid paying for parking. I don't like parking in general, man.

Parking is just hard. Same. That's a fact. I hate parking. I don't drive, but I'm not a big fan of it. Not a big fan of being parked. I don't...

I don't know. I just... If we can avoid movers i have a mover is a whole other job you got movers that's a job and then piano movers is another company entirely well that level of specialization that's like you saying i'll go destabilize the costa rican government on my own that's fine that's the navy seals dude. It's a whole different degree at DeVry. You can go to DeVry for moving, or you can go to DeVry for piano moving. Piano moving, dude. It's a later part of the commercial. It only airs after 2 a.m. So what happened? So Rob chopped up all the piano except for the back,

but the back is where all the weight is.'s a gigantic steel plate so it wasn't a full piano it was like the back wall of a piano but it still weighed it maybe took off 50 pounds when he chopped off all the right like all the keys all that shit was off but so we just put it on a dolly and like moved it down his drive it was sketchy but you know we got it done save 500 so i think it's worth it you gotta buy like a wardrobe and make him move it there has to be some sort of reciprocation here he would he's dope he would he would do it in a second oh you should get a hutch you should get a hutch yeah get a hutch dude get a hutch don't even empty it just tape it shut and when he shows up be like i you know

sorry also hutch pretty decent boy's name hutch is it yeah yeah we know a hutch really yeah hutch harris oh all from here i'm in portland i think he did some uh unsavory things that we you know don't want to get into one way or another i meant butch i said butch you should name him a good name is a good name for a boy i have a daughter her name is maxine her name is maxine and i'll repeat the joke i made in an earlier episode and also five minutes ago before we started recording. Sean has a 48-year-old black woman for a daughter. God, that would be

so funny. I would love that. Sitcom, dude. Sean's just like taking her to the park. Maxine! Knock it off. Can't drink wine out here. She can. She she has she has her own children yeah this bit's caught off the rails it's fine no i love it when he and he was he was like maxine

it sounds like he goes it's a beautiful name don't get me wrong but it sounds like she has just had it up to here yeah it does i don't know why that's the immediate connotation in my head even now after one of my best friends in the entire world has named his daughter that, I'm still like, oh, I got Maxine today. I'm like, you got what? What, Maxine's in town? Somebody flew in? Like she's your orthodontist?

Like what are you talking about, dude? Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love you guys. I'm happy. I love you guys i'm happy you did thank you i'm dressed to do for halloween i think you look amazing i think you look amazing i'm gonna do stand-up like this for halloween i got not only a grip but a diesel grip of trick-or-treaters we got rid of most of our candy it was fucking awesome i didn't get none ain't getting no kind of trick-or-treaters. We decorated our house.

I don't know if that makes a difference, but I feel like we used to go to any house with lights on back in the day, though. Yeah, I'd go to houses with lights off. Yeah, yeah. The lights were off because I took the bulbs. That's right. I was a menace. Alex, did you guys trick-or-treat? Where in Canada are you from, Al?

Are you from Toronto? I'm from Toronto I'm originally from Hong Kong but I came here when I was like 6 so Toronto pretty much my whole life no trick or treating

but my my sister so I got two nephews they're like 6 and 10 she dressed them up did you guys watch Squid Game I guess everybody

watched Squid Game right so she dressed them up she dressed them up as the players and I was like fuck I was like asking my friends I'm like is that cool cause like my nephew is literally dressed up as the players. And I was like, fuck. I was asking my friends. I'm like, is that cool?

Because my nephew is literally being dressed up as a murderer. I know it's a whole thing, and my sister loves cloud chasing. But it's great for her IG and stuff. But I was like, they've clearly not watched it. They don't know what's going on. Is this cool? Their kids were dressed up like murderers? Yeah, because they're like... Have you not seen Squid Game seen squid game sean i haven't but that's most of halloween dressing up

like michael myers or freddy or whatever they're all murderers i guess you're right i guess you're right but there's a there's a kitsch value that like gets layered on through the years i don't know what kitsch means oh yeah i i do i sorry i was thinking of it in a different way you're saying like it's kitschy to dress the kids up like freddy because it's been or michael myers yeah yeah i i do i sorry i was thinking of it in a different way you're saying like it's kitschy to dress the kids up like freddie because it's been or michael myers yeah yeah i get that they're not like a current this season violent murdering indictment of capitalism oh big words big words scathing indictment of capitalism dressed up and i seriously got excited when you said all three of those words in a row scathing indictmentment. Capitalism, dude. I always wonder, too, what these kids feel when my nephew grows up, when he's 15, 16,

and he sees that there's photos of him just everywhere on the internet. Yeah, that's a good point, dude. That's going to be weird. Is he going to be cool with that? Did it go viral? Did it spread? No, it didn't go viral, but it's like,

I mean, I use him for content all the time, like on Instagram and all this. Is he going to be cool with it? He better be. Listen, I have both of my nieces coming to Denver for Christmas, and don't ever think for a second I'm not milking that. Oh, man. It's the easiest content, man.

I'm going to put him in crazy clothes. I might put him on the roof, take a picture, throw him up there. You get down i feel like in the future so much of our lives will have been lived online by that point and especially for kids that it will be like grains of sand on the beach and you know what i mean like the fact that they have they probably won't even know what squid game which was great and i loved probably won't in like endure unless they do like four or five six more seasons like the kids probably won't even know what it is like 10 years from now right i also think that we're gonna reject

the internet at some point i think we were just talking about this the other day laura was talking about how she doesn't want max to see us with our phones all the time and i was like i think print's coming back in a weird way it's too it's too it's too uh it's gonna be too compromised i think right like you're not gonna believe you're not gonna be able 10 years from now you're not gonna believe be able to believe anything on there and i think we're just gonna be like ah fuck this i think the internet will become so flawless like seamlessly integrated into our lives by then that we won't even note that we're on it even when we're on it all the time singularity loose change loose change two yeah change three dude ever heard of it watch them bro gotta open your mind's eye that's what he invested in american listeners reach into your wallet right now pull in a dollar

bill look at the top of that pyramid. Whose eye is it, dude? You tell me, bro. Mine. It's fucking David Borai's, dude. David Borai. David Borai, dude. That's what they used to call me. Sean Jordan is here for God's sake. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan. If you're on the Instagram

app, you can get that on your phone. You can check it on your computer. The Mel, the Jojo. Yeah, if you want to see me doing some skateboard tricks sign up to instagram huh huh up and coming app i if i could be so bold can i be one go bold if you're listening to this go tonight don't and watch kyle canane and i at the icon lounge in sioux falls south dakota. Because we'll be there. Slinging zingers. The David Boer Icon Lounge. And then, you're going to not like this,

but December 12th, Mike Malloy and I are going to be at Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon. I'm sorry to do it to everybody, but Mike is a persistent little boy, so we're doing a show together. It's annoying because literally tonight, you and I are going to be at Helium Comedy Club, and I feel like you haven't even acknowledged it and that hurts my feelings yeah so i'll just

won't i just won't come then i'll come pick you up you meet maxine i'll drop you off and then i'll just i don't know i'll go have wings or something and lie about being at the stand-up show i'm kidding i'm coming and then january 6th i'm at the crocodile club in seattle oh the crocodile you're doing a whole like uh you're doing like an insurrection thing right your whole show uh-huh yeah yeah oh the whole thing is about the sixth i heard his hour is all about the sixth he's storming capitol hill later that night he wears a 76ers jersey it's uh it's crazy i wish i had themes for stan never do you know how someone's like well i'm really working on this for the hour i'm like i don't know i don't know what you're talking about

you don't have that no i just tried i mean if you have new jokes though you do have that like oh no i've never written no no these are all these are all the same jokes i've been doing for 15 years big wave dave big wave dave that's my favorite joke that you do. I'll do it tonight. I love it. I'll do the whole set. I don't care for any of your stand-up. Last time I was in Seattle, zero fucking people showed up. Seattle, come to this show. It was embarrassing. How long ago was that?

It was like five years ago, four years ago. Oh, that's fair. I did not mention it on the show because I think I'd only done a few episodes and someone's like, why didn't you bring it up? And go i didn't i don't know i didn't think to do that but you talk a lot of shit about gary payton dude and you didn't think it was going to come back and bite you in the ass and his son i don't talk shit about the glove he talks about gp3 or gp2 you know what i'm talking about all the time gary payton got dan marley dude thunder down can

you have two kids that you name the same thing? George Foreman would have you believe you can have like eight kids that you name the same thing. But those are different iterations of George. I'm talking, could you just have two Ian Carmel's? Yeah. Do I name them the second and the third? No. Yeah. That'd be kind of cool.

But they're the same generation. Well, Lopez, Anthony has a brother named Anthony Lopez. Well, Lopez, Anthony has a brother named Anthony Lopez. Our friend Anthony, he has a brother named Anthony Lopez. By marriage? No. So he's got a whole bit about it. But his dad had him, named him Anthony Lopez. Two more kids named them their names.

And then had a fourth kid named it Anthony Lopez. I think that's pretty cool. We've been torn for years. We're like, is that dope or is that... It's pretty gnarly, dude. Here's what I'm about. I personally think life is about distance traveled and spreading it. Spread it.

Whatever it is. If your it is Anthony Lopez, spread it. Yeah, it's funny. It's really funny. So yes, to answer your Yeah, it's funny. It's really funny. So yes, to answer your question, it's doable and it's been done by Anthony's dad. Well,

I'm going to have three kids, all David boys, peanut butter and jelly girls, boys, some mix of the two, all David boys. You should dude. I could,

you, you're one of the few people I know who could pull that off and have everyone be like, yeah, good. I've always thought where there's like a parallel universe where I have like too many kids. I think so. You have dynasty energy. Yeah. I've always felt like I could be that kind of guy where I just have like, oh, David? Yeah, he's just got 10 kids.

Yeah. I feel like if there's 10 realities, Yeah, he's just got 10 kids. Yeah. I feel like if there's 10 realities, eight of them, you have 10 kids. I think it's more often 10 kids than not. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're correct. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram.

Not on Twitter. You fucking blew it. Not on it. You missed the bus. Quit trying to tag him. Get away from me. Get away from me. Get away from me. People still try, and they just...

Really? Yeah, they don't think they're the key master, dude. They think that they're the one who can unlock it. Not the fact. I haven't been on there since the day I stopped it, and I am very happy. What's your reason for not being on Twitter? I'm not responsible enough to handle it.

I was just bad, and it made me sad and i couldn't i couldn't figure out a way to do it where i couldn't do it in moderation i just couldn't it was like all bad for me like you fighting people on there and stuff no i would just go on there and look at things like doom scrolling stuff yeah i would just go on there and look at things. Like doom scrolling stuff. Yeah, I would just go on there and look at shit that made me really, really angry. And then I'd be angry all day about some shit people. And then I'd get angry at people I know, people I love and shit like that. It was just like very, it just wasn't healthy for me. When I woke up this morning, when I know we're recording.

It's my turn to talk. I look up the first thing that's on my facebook algorithm and it was ultimate road rage i watched the whole thing six minutes of it now are you okay you're in this room it looks like you've been taken dude the room you're in right now it looks it it looks like you've been taken or you're plotting something heinous look at it look at there's nothing it's like david and i are going to be on the news like we had no idea look at there's my outside world the window's worse than if there was no window that's such a shit i can't tell i can't tell if

you're the trafficker the traffic key dear window dear dear listener the window in sean jordan's room right now it looks like somebody was uh like crawling halfway through it when they got grabbed by their ankles and pulled back into the basement like it's that kind of window all float down here that is why they call it window pane to be honest now that's fact yeah i'm not doing this with you well what going over your favorite rap lyrics no we're not drafting that you're right alex if we were drafting favorite rap lyrics i don't know what your first pick would be, but David Bowie's first pick would be, and I guess that's why they call it

Windowpane. Eminem, Rihanna. Oh, man. Mine would be Drake, Shout Out to Asian Girls, Let the Lights Dim Some. I crack up every time I hear that one. God damn it, he's good at it. And you know he was feeling himself when he did that, too. I was like, God damn. You know he wrote it down as Dim Some.

Damn, man. Oh, yeah. You know what you know what drink lyric i would take is haven't done my taxes i'm too turnt up yeah i relate to that pretty yeah i also love on certified lover boy he just like randomly nominated himself as co-parent of the year even though he sees his kid like four times a year nothing to earn it other people tell you you're a good parent. You don't anoint yourself a co-parent of the year. He bought him a Rolls Royce Power Wheel. Yeah.

We just found out about your kid late. You know what good parents do? Tell you about the kid when they're born. That's like the main good parent thing. Pusha T's mom died, dude. I don't know if you guys saw that. Oh, really? The same mom where Mildred's in the

Bahamas for the month when he was talking shit about other rappers who don't take care of their moms. He put his mom in the Bahamas for the month. R.I.P. Mildred Pusha T. That sucks. Shout out to him and Malice. It is perspective, man. It, you know,

it makes you think. You guys just took a drink at the exact same time also david never wore a mask i did i don't have covid i've never had covid don't do that to me also i'm not doing anything i'm taking the end of the year off i'm going to europe i'm gonna i'm gonna poop in a toilet that swirls backwards that's where i'm gonna be at a babe that's exactly what you should be doing i love that i'm going to the south of france saint tropez nice nice nice it's pronounced nice it's actually pronounced niche uh but you know uh i am having a faded in denver in december i think the 17th go to that you. You know, come see me. You're already going to come see me and Sean at Helium tonight.

And I'm so thankful to you guys for it. You guys are really great. You know, jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams. It can't. It couldn't. Oh, no. God. I mean, look at the angle, dude.

The plane doesn't do that. Look at the angle. A robot did it. It was planned. If we're going to get into 9-11, the... Goddamn. Where were you all during 9-11? I remember vividly.

Where were you guys? Because we've never had a good answer. I went to school, and I remember this kid, Ryan Bailey, was like, did you hear that somebody crashed a plane into the Twin Towers? And we called him a word you're not supposed to call anybody anymore. And then we got to class and they were like, somebody crashed a plane into the Twin Towers. And I was like, well, Ryan tried to warn us all. We owe that piano mover an apology.

I was working at the skate park in Sioux Falls. I thought somebody bombed Epcot Center when I woke up because it cut to Epcot Center per second. Wait, wait, wait, wait. There was a scroll on the bottom. Were you more or less worried if that was the case? They get different news in South Dakota, dude. Different news.

They got a spoon fetus. They put some sugar in the water. They're like, Epcot Center. But the scroll said what really happened. That's messed up, man. Is that the code of 9-11? Somebody had a heat stroke at Epcot Center. Oh, shit.

Damn, man. Like, oh, no. We should get him some goulash, huh? No. I was outside McDonald's. I was in high school, and it was first period. I had a break. We were rolling dice with friends just gambling for $5,

and then these kids. Shooting dice in the corners of the public school. Wait, this is a very interesting thing that you just glossed over what's up what did i do in the corner of the public school you were shooting dice when 9-11 happened yeah outside the mcdonald's and then i my friend rolled a four i forgot what the game was but like the he rolled he rolled the worst thing and I was going to win. These kids come over and they're like, yo, man,

plane just flew into the towers and then we all was going to run to Radio Shack in the same plaza to just go watch it on the TVs. But I was like, hey, let me roll first. So I won my $5

and then we went to Radio Shack. I always remember that. You and the rapper Noriega the only two people rolling dice I love rolling dice too I feel like Noriega kept it rolling too he just saw what happened he didn't stop he's from New York

third I knew Alex Wong is here author of Cover Story, the NBA and modern basketball as told through its most iconic magazine covers, a book I am currently reading. Wait. You can read?

It's pictures. It's a lot of pictures. It's about magazine covers. It's a lot of pictures. Those were... So, like, there is... all you you know the people who can read i actually feel sorry for and i want to i've been wanting to say this for a while it's stupid i actually feel sorry for you because the beauty and elegance of of font of text

when you can't read is so much more evident like an h like when you guys think of h you're like okay that's part of a word i get that for me it looks like two people shaking hands and it's beautiful that's how i feel about being unathletic and watching basketball yeah it's it's fucking beautiful yeah i don't understand the game oh you guys know about the post and down low i just see men dancing yeah and h looks like two dudes with boners that are just barely touching you know so there's like a lot of hot letters in this book a lot of hot letters dude it's called cover story everybody should cop it right now steven underscore lebron steven with a v on twitter steven with a v yeah and then underscore now on instagram which is an app you can get on your

phone it's steven lebron no underscore still a v though still a v still a v i've watched i've wondered for what is the what is steven lebron because i was like is that the dude from uh duran duran but that's simon lebon all right all right all right here's here's what happened so before before i became like sports writer slash author i went to school for business i was i was an accountant in my 20s and I worked all these corporate jobs. When I signed up for Twitter, I was like this financial analyst and I was reporting to the CEO of the company. So I couldn't have anything traced back to me because I just wanted to use Twitter. I would go in these meetings, these dumb meetings, PowerPoint presentations, meet with clients, and I'd live tweet them. I'd live tweet them to my 17 friends at the time because they thought it was just hilarious but i was like if hr gets a

hold of this like i'm done so on the day that i signed up there was a headline on usa today it said cleveland's lebron suspended 50 games for steroids and it was like an all-time clickbait headline because when you clicked on it it was a cleveland indians minor league pitcher named stephen lebron so i was like this is hilarious i claimed it on like wordpress claimed it on like you know twitter all this stuff and and it just it just stuck like i just never changed it dude that is dope yeah amazing that rules when did you make the when did you make the full-time transition from accounting to uh to accounting for the sports goings-on of the Toronto area and the NBA at large? Yeah, so this was probably around like seven, eight years ago. And it was at that same job.

So the whole company restructured. And one day, an HR person called me in and was like, hey, we're eliminating your role. And I was thrilled. I was like, man, I've been trying to wait to leave this industry. And I just didn't have the balls. But now you kind of made the decision for me because i'm gonna do it and i told him i'm like hey i'm gonna move to new york which i did i was like i'm gonna move to new york and i'm gonna just try to become a writer and i still remember him handing me the pamphlet he's like hey man this is a suicide hotline like if you're not doing well right now

like you should make the call. No, no, no, no. But like to him, I probably sounded so unstable. Cause I was just like button up guy.

Like I was really quiet at work. I never showed my personality or any of that. Right. Like I was just this quiet dude. And like, suddenly he sees me in here. This is the first time I've like opened up to him. And like,

it's a, it's a financial analyst of the company being like, Hey man, I'm gonna go to New York. I'm all right about basketball. It's like, it sounds the company being like hey man I'm gonna go to New York I'm gonna write about basketball it's like it sounds pretty delusional but I still remember that I still remember that conversation and then and then like couple months later

I got married I moved to New York and then I was there for four years I got divorced I moved back to Toronto and that's my whole life story you were probably like so excited for the first time since he'd known you that you seemed manic. You know what I mean?

Where you were like, oh, shit. I get that. I get that. Yeah, because I do like a radio show now. Like every day, Monday to Friday here in Toronto on like a pretty prominent station. And like I'm sure there's people who used to work with me who listen to me. And like when they hear me, they must be just like flabbergasted. That guy? Yeah, because like i was like the most i mean i'm not that funny now but like i was just like the most

lame just like basic dude at work i wasn't trying to let anyone see who i was you know yeah i was just there to work too i get you yeah i never used to hang out with people at work i never like i don't even i don't want you to know my friends. I don't want to know about you. I don't want anyone to know anything about my story. And my thing was always like, I don't really care about you guys, so I don't want you to know about me either, because I'm not here to hear your story.

Even this job, I'm like that. I have a family. Yeah. So you have a hidden family like Drake? Yeah, I have a whole thing going on. I sell insurance in Milwaukee. You were just in LA and I had no idea. You were just here for like two days and I saw pictures of you at shows.

I did not stop. I don't even want to talk about it out here. I literally did not stop working. Yeah. It fucking sucked. not stop i don't even want to talk about it out here i literally did not stop working yeah it fucking sucked but you know watch eric andre season five or six or whatever so you want to i just thank you i'm gonna punch you in the fucking face you're not gonna do a goddamn thing i'm gonna come down these stairs i'm gonna put on shorts because i'm in my underwear at your leisure

i'm sure come on his stairs i I'm going to come right up. Yeah, David's nuts when he's here, man. Yeah, I go crazy in Portland. All I'm saying, David, is Dana made a beautiful red velvet cake, and you could have had a baby. She sure did. My God. Tell Dana I've been listening to the, oh, what's it called? Haleywood? Haleywood, yeah.

I have, too. It's very good. It's real good. It's very good. It's real good. It's very good. It's the only other podcast. It's really good. Yeah, I meant to tell you that a few days ago. I've been listening to it before I go to sleep.

She's got that silky voice, dude. Yeah, she's very good. It's like the whole thing is just, it's really good. Don't take your beanie off just because I took my beanie off, Sean. I did. Don't do that to me. We're looking alike did now i'm dressed like you i did now i'm dressed like you alex tell us more about cover story cover story man just go on a bookstore site and buy it man so i don't know how to talk about it chase um i'm in no no i worked on this i worked on this during the the lockdown phase uh you know

honestly during the pandemic. It was something I wanted to put together for a little while in terms of covering a period from 84 to 2003. Just the most popular, most iconic basketball covers and tracing through when Sports Illustrated put Michael Jordan on the cover like 50 times. And then pissed him off when they told him to bag it when he was playing baseball and michael was just like wear a condom it's just like i'll never talk to you again lots of slam magazine stuff in there uh lots of hip-hop stuff too with the source with vibe because they were so influential we're saying we're saying pics right now but we're not we're not saying pics we're saying magazines i have a source and a vibe on my list.

You've always had a source and a vibe. Surprise, surprise. So do I. There's a clear number one pick for this fucking, by the way. Just throwing it out there. Anyway, continue, Alex. We'll see about that. I apologize.

No, but it just, you know, I interviewed around 100 people, you know, mostly editors, photographers, writers, just people who put together these stories to just really tell the story of why these magazine covers were so iconic. And now that the time has passed a decade, two decades later, why they still resonate so much with people. So it was a fun project to work on. I guess that's my whole summary.

Love it. Well, I just bought it. How about that? You just bought it? Yeah. Hell just bought it yeah hell yeah dude i got amazon i got i keep it oh man my publisher gonna be so happy man made one sale off a pod let's fucking go let's do it talk to talk to four you talk to former afv guest jeff weiss in here former afv guest russ benson in here future afv guest cj mccullum in here. Future AFV guest CJ McCollum in here. You can swing, CJ. I know you got that clout, man. We're trying, man.

CJ's way too cool. I wouldn't be able to say anything. Future AFV guest Muggsy Bogues. Future AFV guest Peter Guns, dude. Future AFV guest future. What was Peter Guns like? Yeah, Peter Guns guns we just talked about shack because i wanted to know what it was like working with shack because because he like ghost wrote for him he was telling me all these stories about ghost wrote for shack yeah he was one of

shack's like closest guys and like shack used to fly him to orlando had a whole studio he's like yeah man gary sheffield and like ken griffey Jr. would just come by and we'd just hang out. Actually, the funniest story he told me is, so Shaq was a pretty generous guy. I think he still is today. So he would fly guys down, put them up on hotels, no budgets and stuff. But he's like, yeah, man, when Big Pun and Fat Joe came out,

they just ran way over budget. I guess they just ran their card on everything. They're the only two on a budget? That's a lot of stakes. Anyways, none of that made it in the book. Now I'm like, fuck, it should have been. That's another book that you should write. That's another book, dude.

Peter Gunz, Fat Joe, Shaq? Nah. Yeah, it's crazy, man. No, shout out to Peter Gunz. You should write a whole other book about NBA rappers, dude. That's a whole other book. That's the next one. follow peter guns closely you probably do don't you yeah he's on love and hip-hop i know what he's up to yeah god that's that's what the eye on the top of the pyramid's looking at dude yeah i'm i've i watched a youtube video so i'm steepling a lot with my hands now

uh make sure you pick up that book. I'm really enjoying it so far. I just did. It said it's going to be delivered tomorrow, which is weird because I will not be home. I think if you're into the stuff that AFE's into, you're going to be into this book. Make sure you catch it up. Pick it up.

My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Jewish Cover Story, which is mostly just pictures of that Hebe magazine that was around for a while. Wait, that's a magazine? There was a magazine called Hebe that was like a,

it was by Jews for Jews, but it was like a. Oh, it was your FUBU. Yeah, it was our FUBU. It was our FUBU. It was like a sort of a pop culture-y, it's cool that we call it heave kind of thing i feel like when no effects came out with that album they made kids that were my age at the time feel like it was okay to say and it sure wasn't because i remember not knowing that was a bad thing

really you need like three different people to say the name of that album like hanging out together or me and smith sitting in smith's room a ton yeah i mean it's crazy people to say the name of that album like hanging out together or me and smith sitting in smith's room a ton yeah i mean it's crazy that that was the name of the album also dinner was lovely i didn't the birthday dinner it was fantastic thank you for dinner on air to that yeah i had a fun i just it popped into my head i didn't thank you for it we had a fun 40th birthday dinner we all got buck we had a nice meal and it was amazing so thank you for that yeah that was really fun yeah i loved it felt like a grown-up that's because you're 40 yeah i sure am i didn't act 40 i was dressed like a 40 year old but i didn't i didn't drink the beverages that a 40

year old would drink i had a lot oh yeah your mom's no i don't know i had a jello shot that night i had a little bit of everything we had a rum drink we had a vodka at just at the restaurant before we had a rum drink, a vodka drink, and I had some whiskey drinks. I was like, this is all of them. He went full.

He chumble one. But that night, it was tight. I had a really, really good time. It was a lovely little evening. Mm hmm.

Oh, lovely. Oh, lovely. Watch the late late show with James Corden, where I'm still the sidekick. Listen, all fantasy everything where I'm still on sidekick listen all fantasy everything where i'm still on most episodes well uh you're on every episode yeah you're on every listen to or

watch sex unzipped on netflix where i'm one of the talking heads with me and sweetie and although i've been told her name is pronounced just sweetie it's hard to do though why is the a in there listen who you telling who you telling why is the a in there i'm on there with sweetie dude to watch sex unzipped on netflix uh yeah just keep your eye out for various projects there's a something's coming back soon that i didn't know was coming back and that's going to be exciting today's episode is it star trek it's star trek i'm on it dude i'm playing it's star trek but i play all the roles i'm eddie murphy in a star trek series i would straight up pay money to go watch that one man show of course it'd be fun

if you eddie murphy'd star trek i'd put it together i'll be i'll be there bell house new york coming live i'm afraid it would be problematic. I would somehow end up being problematic just because I'd run out of voices to do, and I'd accidentally do like a Jamaican Spock and get canceled. Jamaican Spock? That's actually my Wi-Fi password. Jamaican? My cardiologist is Jamaican Spock.

Bumaclot. You got a bloodbucklot. I couldn't think of a thing that cardiologists say. This guy says bumaclot. Yeah. He's a Jamaican Spock. Oh, he is? I lost the bit.

It's okay. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're not gathering to do the bit. We are gathered here to fantasy draft magazine covers. Now, not just iconic NBA magazine covers, as covered in the book Cover Story by Alex Wong, our guest today, but all magazine covers ever, dating back to whenever magazine covers started. We're fantasy drafting them.

Now, the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock-paper-scissors. Play between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, three different ones. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, Sean Jordan victory. Rare, dude.

Like Mr. Clean with hair. Sean Jordan, as the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's fantasy draft but before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft cool and what is that that's a great question ah i thought you got it let's say that you're the coach of a you got it you dumb motherfucker say that you're freaking numbskull let's say you're coaching a little league team and you got it, you dumb motherfucker. I'd say that you're a freaking numbskull. Let's say you're coaching a little league team and you've got to do that batting practice where you want all the infielders to

field some ground balls before the game. So you stand at home plate, you bat a grounder to first, bat a grounder to second, bat a grounder to short, bat a grounder to third. You're definitely not done fielding grounders before the game, though. You've got a really, really, really really tough little league team they're from brandon which is like where the good little leaguers play so you keep going you bat another ball to third they field

it well you bat to short you bat to second they kind of bumble it you bat it to first normally you'd be like well we don't need to go so heavy on the ground balls but second kind of fucked up her parents are getting divorced so what are you going to do? Her head's in a different place. So you scream at her. You scream, get your head in the game. Scream it. Make sure everybody hears.

And then you bat another one to first, bat another one to second. She bumbles again, so you're like, well, I'm already coming back, whatever. But bat another one to short, bat one to third. You really say, don't worry about your parents' divorce. Like, really let her know. And then she's like, all right, whatever.

It's going to happen. Life is life. it's not a big deal we gotta win this game so you bat to third bat to short bat to second bat to first until you know they kind of got it and then you play the game then you win but her parents still get divorced basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round you pick first on the second round yeah sean with that in mind what will the order of today's draft be i gotta go first oh i i think that i know what you're gonna take i'm it's between two and i'm sure that you know them i think i have a good feeling about what i have a very personal list i don't know i don't know okay i did a lot sexier than i thought

well alex is going second. There it is. David, you're third. Ian, you're fourth. Hot corner. Hot corner. Hot corner. Digging deep, dude. You got that shovel all the way in the gravel.

You have been working too much. I thought I've been working too much, Koff. Sorry, man. Don't apologize. I thought I've been working too much, Koff. Sorry, man. Don't apologize. I'm just saying. I am straight up maxed out, dog. That's what you're doing, maxed out. I'm at capacity.

You're putting business on six different credit cards right now. I have a lot of credit cards. It's an issue. I'll tell you what's not an issue. Sean Jordan making the first pick, which we will get to right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it.

And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. Might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days.

And you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this. But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to make it accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business. No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid.

It just comes in a nice little box. And it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if do you get 15 off with code all fantasy at schedule 35.co that's 15 off at schedule 35.co and use promo code all fantasy yeah we're back welcome back all fantasy everything the only podcast that has ever existed of course except for the aforementioned hailey wood as narrated by dana schwartz and uh noble, also by Dana Schwartz. Fuck with her shit. The only media that's ever existed

outside, of course, cover story. The NBA and modern basketball as told through its most iconic magazine covers by Alex Wong. Prose and pictures. A little bit of something for everybody. Sean Jordan, speaking of magazine covers, you have the first pick in

the magazine covers All Fantasy Everything Graphic. What will that first pick be? If you're listening to the covers, you have the first pick in the magazine covers, All Fantasy, Everything Graphic. What will that first pick be? If you're listening to the show, you're a fan. Thank you. It means the world. And you've seen the logo for the show. And that is from... You motherfucker.

What are you doing? That is from the Death Row Vibe cover, 96. I'm going to bear hug you and jump down the stairs there were two okay is that one of the ones you thought i was gonna pick without saying the other one yeah and i'm sure that you know i think i'm gonna get the other one i'm sure i'm sure you and unless i can think of two reasons yeah yeah these those were the only like when i heard this i was like well there's been two magazines i know for sure that made it to print and those were the the two but anyway death row 96 vibe that was in 1996 as far as i was concerned there were four people responsible for all the music

in all of the world and it was the four people on the cover of that vibe and that's all i cared about it's all i listened to it's all i gave a fuck about ian david and marissa yeah yeah and i helped you know i i would have put money down that you only took skateboarding magazines i didn't think that i didn't think that'd be fair I didn't even I immediately thought that that was gonna be Sean's first pick It was gonna go one of two ways I have two skateboard ones that I'll pick I think But yeah

Had to pick this because it was It was immediately Popped into my head That's all I cared about In 1996 it was that and skateboarding It was death row and skateboarding, honestly. I listened to Tupac every night before I would go to bed. I would play one side of All Eyes on Me.

Oh, here's a question. Did you listen to Tupac in the bath in the mornings? No, I didn't listen to music. I liked to... It was me time in the bath. I think that... Even crazier. I didn't listen to music. I like to, it was me time in the bath. I think that I, I have a theory that you watching all these fight videos and you falling asleep to Tupac are related.

I, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna disagree. I think those are related. I'm not gonna disagree. Yeah. I think the fact that what lulled you to sleep was Tupac Shakur That would yeah Especially on the B side of All Eyes On Me Second tape

There's some of the fight songs Like Can't See Me Stuff like that If you're going to sleep Listen to Can't See Me Yo You Can't See Me is like the least peaceful song. The beat is not peaceful. What he's talking about is not peaceful.

At one point they have the sample where he goes, which way did he go, George? Which way did he go? That's insane to go to sleep to. It is. That's like, that's not, you're sleeping violence. It sounds like a shootout like in the in like a in like a a cotton the cotton club in harlem like in the 1930s like that yeah exactly it should be on

the soundtrack for that movie hoodlum yeah yeah which i watch a lot weirdly you know what's fun about this cover is that all the music that they had put out up until that point we weren't that disconnected from yet because the chronic was only like four years earlier uh doggy style was only like three years before that and then you had tupac like all eyes on me which i know he had other stuff but like those are what i'm talking about are those three albums and they weren't even all death row but it's just like first album called son son? I just said it. It was strictly for the Explode Deleted. And then it was Tupacalypse Now.

I'll say the other ones. Me Against the World, you know, Tupacalypse Now. Anyway. And then you had like the deep cover song where like everybody kind of first heard Snoop. Like all that was still pretty new. And then they made California Love. And that's I think what kind of sparked this cover was like death rose taken over and that cover is just perfect it's so sick they look so hard all of them it's a little bit scary it's very cool yeah black and gold baby very classy all they got on is black and gold. Yeah. I mean, it's just icy.

I don't know. Maybe if I could get my silver tongue going, I can talk Lauren to let me frame that somewhere in the house. That'd be pretty dank. I think you could put it in that room that you're being trafficked in. This is the old crib. I don't get any say in what goes on in this room. I'm talking about the new crib.

No, you definitely don't get any say in what goes on in that room. I'm talking about the new crib. No, you definitely don't get any saying what goes on in that room. Yeah. A guy in a ski mask does. Vibe 96. You want to hear some crazy shit my buddy Nick back in the day? Some Chechnian man does. I think I've told you this, but my buddy Nick back in the day, we were in high school.

We were just bored one night, and he stopped at a 7-Eleven, and he's like check this out put a ski mask on went in and bought a gatorade and just walked out it's like it was it's insane to think about doing that now like going in somewhere with a ski mask and shopping i feel like the owner would shoot me had i done that yeah i mean it's insane to think about but we just we were like oh how funny is this and anyway uh vibe 96 death row yeah that's a good call great pick alex wong time for your first pick i'm gonna take a 1998 sports illustrated cover with mark mcguire and sammy sosa in wearing the togas the gladiator

sandals so this one is really personal to me actually it's not it's just hilarious because they were obviously both uh you know using uh you know performance enhancing drugs but i remember spending that whole summer watching more baseball than i ever had because of the home run chase and my favorite thing was mark mcguire sammy sosa became like best friends during the whole thing like just congratulating each other chopping it up all all the time. And then a few years later, after Sammy Sosa spent like five years doing all these English speaking interviews, he got called in to testify,

to speak on his drug use, and he brought a translator. And suddenly he didn't know how to speak English. And you know what? At the time I clowned him, but in retrospect, I kind of respected. That was kind of a flex. I didn't know that.

Sammy Sosa is nuts. Let's just say it. He also turned into a white guy. That guy's crazy. He turned into a swing dancing white guy. He wears like pinstripe suits all the time and like hats.

If I was going to pick a thing to do when I was white, that would not be it. if i was gonna if i was gonna play for the other team i'm not gonna get white to fucking swing dance you nutcase sammy sosa looks like someone in a problematic desi arnaz costume actually my favorite thing and i was gonna i was gonna i was gonna ask you guys because my favorite thing is sammy sosa hit over 60 home runs in three different seasons but he never led the major league baseball in home runs because he was going up against mark mcguire and then

barry bonds what's like the real life equivalent of that for you guys in terms of having three seasons, historic seasons, but coming in second? Damn. Yeah. I'm the least accomplished in all of my peers' stand-up careers.

You do stand-up? I'm just kidding. Tonight, here we are. I'm serious. I look at what I do. I'm like, man, I really have done great, but I've done so much less than all of my peer group.

So I think about that a lot. I think about it with height. I'm like a tall, short guy, and that kind of sucks because all my friends are tall. Oh, yeah. You have a lot of tall friends. I have a ton of tall friends. It's fucked up. That sounded like a chorus. I got a ton of tall friends i have a ton of tall friends it's fucked up that sounded like a chorus i got

a ton of tall friends i got a ton of tall friends even sean is like six one that's what i'm saying all the i'm taller than you you are but you say even like i'm not part of the tallest no i'm just you're you're one of his shorter, taller friends. Sam Talent's like 6'3", 6'4". See, Alex, you see what's going on? See how funny that was? I'm behind my friends and how funny they are.

Jesus. But also some other stuff. I just got to think about it. Sorry, I got distracted. I Googled Sammy Sosa and his face. You can't do that when you're focusing on something.

Fucking me up. I forgot how crazy that shit was. Yeah, it's fucked. He's like a human filter, man. You need like a Sammy Sosa filter. He's insane. He has a picture where he's wearing a pink hat and a pink shirt and he just looks like a penis. He's doing

different stuff than the rest of us. I hate it. My neighborhood coffee shop, they know me. They know who i am like all the people who work there but they're always more stoked when someone else is in there almost every time and they'll have like a little bit of banter you know what i mean they'll be like oh yeah how did that how did your poetry recital go or like whatever the fuck and then i'll go and i'll be like hey good to see you again and they're like oat milk flat white i'm like yeah cool how are you and then just never i never get any fucking purchase

with them ever i don't know what it is i might have like dickhead eyebrows or something like that i can't that does suck yeah you're like you're like i'm in here though i want that i want like that closer relationship and i'm in there like a lot i'll walk there before work sometimes and i go to work early and still nothing nothing yahoo i don't i hate being a patron of a place and they don't acknowledge that i patronize yeah that hurts that does hurt i'm stuck on the so you said dickhead eyebrows has anyone this has happened to me a few times and it really bothers me i've had it's probably five times six times that I can remember where somebody gets to know me and then they'll tell me in confidence at like, you know, over a drink or something. They're like, you know, I thought you were such an asshole when I met you, man, because

I'm like, because of the way that I look sometimes, like with a backwards hat or whatever, it's nothing to do with talking, but I've had people be like, you just just look like an asshole and it's such a bummer interesting to me like because it's like you look like an asshole because i got a backwards hat on it's crazy to me you're really you're really nice to people even from the rip though from the rip yeah like from jump street i've never seen you open meme. That's not them. I don't think you should internalize that. I think that's not them. I think about it a lot.

A lot of times I wonder if I look like a dickhead or not. It's an odd thing. I have resting bitch face for sure. I get why people think I'm a prick sometimes. You think so? I don't really agree with either of these assessments of you guys i have like if i'm like concentrating i my eyebrows rest low and they're pronounced eyebrows so it looks like i'm scowling a little bit like what watch just my resting face

yeah but how often are you ever like that if we're just like at a bar like i i've never i've never gone with the resting bitch face because it's like, I don't know. You, you do it. You're like, you move around too much for it to be like, okay,

you do have resting bitch face. Your face is barely resting. You worked that bitch out. That's true. I keep that thing. Yeah. My face is like fucking like Tayshaun Prince, dude.

It's running. My face is Rip Hamilton, dude. Seven miles a game. The only time you look mad is in that photo of you at the that blazer game where you look i love it so much we were losing the clippers yeah that's the reason to be a bitch mark mcguire and sammy sosa are they the bash brothers am i no that was jose can take on mark mcguire jose can take on mark mcguire yeah all right also on on performance enhancing drugs which was good for the sport Ash Brothers? No, that was Jose Canseco and Mark McGuire. Jose Canseco and Mark McGuire.

Also on performance enhancing drugs. Which was good for the sport. Let them do them. What do I care? No, it was great for the sport. That was my whole argument. Like, I want to see home runs. God damn it. Yeah, Barry Bonds.

Everyone was doing steroids. Barry Bonds got so much shit. He took all the flack for the entire era. And like, it was just unfair. Barry Bonds was cool. All Barry Bzo's was an asshole he just didn't talk to the media who wants to talk to the media though all he did was have a huge ass head i don't think i told you guys this i had an uber driver the other day who

pretty much from my house to the show explained to me why steroids aren't bad it was so because he was like a weightlifter you could tell and i don't know how we got into the talking about it but then the whole time just turned into him saw another one of the kind recognized kind you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah i was just back there being just back there growing zits just like what's up bro and he but yeah and then he drops me off he's like sorry i kind of talked about steroids the whole time you talked about steroids dude i've gotten in that conversation with people as well though i don't know i mean i've never go go now i could do them i think they're pretty bad i think they can still be pretty bad for you are they bad i see i'm so

ignorant a lot of like like a lot of like mr olympia's and shit die in their 40s you know like not good not good yeah good. Maybe not a lot, but a few. Are there teeny steroids you can do that just like help the game? Maybe. I don't know.

I don't think any of us have. Are you asking if you can do small steroids? Yeah. Can I do a teeny amount of steroids? I don't really know how to answer that.

What about a weensy amount? Can I do a weensy amount? You can do a weensy amount, dude, for sure. Go crazy. David Borey, time for your first pick. Janet Jackson getting her titties held up on Rolling Stone.

Yeah. When I saw that. Come on. Come on. Of course. Of course. That looks better than if they were not being held, because you're like, you can put yourself in the scenario.

You know those are Nelson Mandela's hands? Wait, are you serious no that would be the craziest collab i bet they're tyson beckford's hands i there must that information must be i'm gonna google it right now what if they're two different people's hands because it's somebody that's what i always thought about it too though is i was always like somebody got to feel her titties. Yeah. Yeah, it was like, I remember, so this is super random. We were in Alabama when I was a kid, and we went to a radio station. All these things, when I say them out loud, it's a much stranger scenario than maybe I had understood at the time. We were at this radio station in Alabama when I was a kid, and they had that poster on the wall,

and I was just like, I just, I could not stop looking at it. Of course. Like, it's just, it's so sexy. It was like a shot, like, I don't know. I just feel like everybody has seen that. You know what I mean? It's iconic. It's the first one that came to my head.

It is, it was porn. It was like the cover of a Playboy, but it's the first one that came to my head it is poor it was porn it was like the cover of a playboy but it's janet jackson i mean to me it she was the top of the crush list i mean tina turner started it all but janet jackson was like a very close her husband it was her husband it was her husband at the time yeah yeah, yeah. The hands? Yeah, Rene Elizondo. Is she still sneakily married to Jermaine Dupri, which blew my fucking mind when I heard about

that, by the way? I think that came to an end. Yeah, I think it might be. I can't believe it came to a start. I was floored when I found that out. If you Google Rene Elizondo, he looks like the guy who was holding Janet Jackson's titties in those pictures. Hell yeah.

That's what you want. You don't want to, like, I mean. It can't be just like a dude named Jeff, like the photographer's assistant. You can't have that. I'm like very happy for, I'm extremely happy for Jermaine Dupri. I'm extremely happy for Jermaine Dupri.

Oh, short king. You want it to be a hot dude. It's Janet Jackson. Hold on one second. It has to be a hot dude. It has to be a hot dude. I've never even read the article that that magazine...

I've never even read the article that that magazine is portraying. I've never read that article no but it's just an iconic image everybody knows that one yeah it doesn't matter it doesn't matter what album was it velvet rope i don't even know she could claim to have killed john f kennedy and the article wouldn't be as interesting as the picture yeah actually another i'm looking at the cover another uh on the tagline it says the rolling stone interview woody allen with with the

tagline no apologies oh no okay they needed that cover to soften the blow a little bit and then below it and then below it janna jackson the joy of sex that's why the radio station had a frame too that's what you didn't know enough stone temple pilots i feel like they were always in rolling stone do you think they ever want to talk about that like oh yeah that jane jackson titty cover we were we were on it too i think scott wyland was preoccupied with drug use i don't know a lot of people call it the stone temple pilots cover stone temple pilots to me didn't get enough credit they they were great i I don't even know one song, dude. Yeah, you do.

No, I don't. Well, I can't think of how I do. Did they do Rooster? No, that was Alice in Chains. Layne Staley also died from heroin, I believe. But, Scott, you know, I can't think of an STP song that I can sing right now. You know enough to call them STP, but you can't think of one song i plush is the name of the song but i can't think of how did it on a sunday afternoon oh yeah

on a sunday afternoon yeah damn was i am i am i a fucking grunge legend dude you are you scott wyland you're from the pnw i'm from the pnw it's in you chris cornell you know all their names i know a lot of what you couldn't think of the one song plush i said it take your time anyway he was in velvet revolver scott wyland was also in velvet revolver david dave can i call you no i don't like that too bad dave i won't do it anymore i won't i won't do that yeah i don't think anybody i don't think anybody liked the way that felt no janet jackson janet jackson did not like the way it felt either janet jackson i mean yeah yeah it was the first one i thought of of course it was most times when people say something that's the

first thing i think of hmm just anything i was just making a joke about how i think about that magazine cover a lot oh i said i gotta my time of life first pick, Ian Carmel. I'm going to take one that I wasn't alive for with my first pick. But the first time I saw it, I thought it was so fucking funny. And I continue to think it's so fucking funny. And I just think it's genius. And I can't believe they got to put it out. It's National Lampoon Magazine with a pistol up to the head of a dog that says, if you don't buy this magazine, we're going to kill this dog. What?

I've never seen that. You've never seen that? It is. That shit is so fucking funny. It's so fucking funny. And it's like this cute dog that's kind of like, what? Like, it's looking over. It's a real picture.

It's, yeah, that shit is like, that's like, cause it's like, that's what humor is like. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's like, yeah. Also, are we famous enough yet to that?

We can go to the national lampoon next time we're in Boston, the Harvard lampoon, the Harvard lampoon. I heard they like invite comics there. They do. Really? Yeah. Like if you headline,

they'll like invite you to the lampoon. Fucking. Okay. If we sell out the sinclair we could that's that's good that's like an invite thing they invite you i was just i was literally i was just backstage of the show and people were like oh yeah when i went and i was like man i must be whack out here guys i looked up i looked up the wikipedia of the dog so the dog's name is no this is sad mr cheese face nobody bought the magazine in early 1976 cheese face was shot on the farm where he lived with his owner in east charleston vermont by an unnamed hunter as of 2021 the identity and motivation of the assailant remains unknown.

You didn't buy the fucking magazine. That also sounds like it could be about a rapper. It makes me respect them to be honest. Because of his association with National Lampoon, I was gonna afraid the dog died from a cocaine overdose or something. The dog was doing

speedballs at the fucking Beverly Hills Hotel, dude. He had to get through finals. Yeah. The dog was looking over like, do it. It was just do it. Do it. Bottomed out. Played himself, man.

It's just the first time I saw it, I was like, what? You could do that? And that was like decades after they did it. That's so sick. It's just like right up my alley for what humor is you know what i mean me too just fucking hilarious killing animals that's what i think is funny i also think that's funny for me that's what's funny it's funny i mean you got to find what does it for you and if i think for all three of us which is one of the two main reasons that we

that we bonded is that i also think it's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. To kill animals. I mean, like, hilarious. Like, way funny. Again, that's all fantasy everything. The podcast that thinks it's hilarious.

Yeah. To kill animals. Do you remember the other way that we met? What is the other way we met? On an early episode, somebody asked how we met. Do you remember what I way that we met what's it what's it what i said it on an early on an early episode somebody asked how we met do you remember what i said anyway oh i said i couldn't finish it without laughing i said it was a it was a three-way tie at the big dick contest oh but that's true that's not even like a joke yeah that's real dude it was crazy because you guys were from out of state i had been hearing about you but i was like let's see what they got and then three-way tie oh yeah we were in golden call it was in

golden colorado the big dick contest that's where they held the big big dick championship every year it's the altitude yeah do it at the course factory you know you're not swinging hog unless you're swinging hog at altitude you gotta swing hog at altitude dude like it's like the home run derby in fucking denver dude you know what i mean like you have it have it where it's gonna be the most fun uh yeah it's a hitter's park as far as national lampoons sometimes i say things on here and i realize what i said every now and again laura's like you know max is gonna hear those and i go i'm not gonna lie to her about any of this shit about any stories from i'll tell her yeah what yeah my mom listens to this sometimes yeah uh my second pick is going to be sports

illustrated the year is 1998 the photographer is walter ios the icon. And it's the Chicago Bulls playing what I think is bid whist or some other card game in the aisle of their team plane. And it's like Michael Jordan, Scotty, a few of the other guys, and they just have like a pile of cards in the middle of the plane. And it's just fucking amazing. It was like a behind the scenes story on the chicago bulls alex you probably know this cover no i got a story for this one so so you know when i was doing cover story so the big thing for for people that might not know is like it's like sports illustrated and michael had this great relationship and then michael just stopped talking to si after they put him on the baseball cover and just said, bag it, Michael. And Michael was like,

I'm never talking to the magazine again. So the one you're talking about was in, in 98 when they were going for their sixth championship. And I talked to Rick Riley who wrote the cover story for that magazine cover and Michael wouldn't talk to him. So he did the whole cover story around Michael's personal security guard. Like that was his way of doing it. And Michael literally,

he, he literally, Michael was in this room, like getting massage, like, like in the locker room. around michael's personal security guard like that was his way of doing it and michael literally he literally michael was in this room like getting massaged like like in the locker room and he snuck his head in and asked michael a question and michael didn't know he was being interviewed and michael gave him a quote back so he put that quote in so that's the only time michael's actually technically talked to si ever since he put the ban on him. Wow. Wait, his security guard asked a question from the interviewer? No, so the whole story was based around Michael's relationship with that security guard

because they're going really close. But then Rick was like, man, how am I going to get Michael to talk to me? So he just snuck, he poked his head in and talked to Michael. Michael thought it was just a casual conversation. But if you read the story, it sounds like Michael was in the story

and that's how he got him in there. God, that's tight. And Michael was so petty, ESPN the magazine came out in the same year. They debuted. And in the second issue, Michael gave this like whole interview to ESPN the magazine,

basically like shitting on SI and everything. Wow. That motherfucker, dude. He's such a villain. So petty. He's such a bad guy. Not as petty as Scottie Pippen right now, though. No.

Oh, my God. Scottie Pippen is burning it down right now, dude. I think it's going bad for Scottie Pippen. I think that he is deflecting because the fact that his ex is violent. I really do. Listen, if you try to have sex with my wife, I also gonna be like yeah no sean was a dick yeah because i don't want people to talk about the fact that my wife is sleeping with a rapper not even just a rapper future it's the worst rapper to have sex with

of all the rappers you can have sex with future is the worst one r.i.p dmx if it would suck because if my wife had sex with dmx i would just picture dmx and belly having sex with keisha and i'm like he's doing that to her oh yeah because he like i said he thought belly was a documentary it is a documentary scotty pippen is out here saying like michael jordan ruined basketball and he was just like terrible every quote graphic looks like it's just made up. Like, it doesn't even sound like real. Crazy. Scottie Pippen, have you seen how he's been dressed?

Scottie Pippen is going through it, guys. Like, I'm not even, like, it's just not going good for him right now. It's bad. At all. It's going bad for Scottie Pippen. Yeah, it's a rough, he's having a rough time. But that picture is like amazing it's just them playing like i'm playing like cars in the middle of a plane it's just it's fucking cool it's a cool angle it's like shot up like that it's just of there's so

many iconic michael jordan si covers that's my personal favorite so i had to take it uh back to you i'm gonna take it to the source magazine july 1995 notorious big yeah yeah in the jumpsuit in front of the twin towers baby america we couldn't be stopped that might be where we peaked yeah i think that was that might be the top of it like i don't think it went any higher than that he was wearing a jumpsuit a leather jumpsuit it said 5001 flavors a leather jumpsuit let's be very clear about that if i in a cane in a cane if i walked up to you and i had a kangle a cane and a leather jumpsuit you don't know what the fuck is about to happen i'm walking away backwards looking at you it's just it's iconic it's like it's so him it was like it was like the rise of his career was like like it's the king of new york it was like at least for that time it was like new york hip-hop is back because they had lost it to the west coast i mean they lost the

title and i like i personally think they never really got it back uh you know what i mean like i agree i totally agree i mean the south has it now right atlanta has oh yeah but but it was like it was just such a like this is in the sources of New York Magazine. You know, I just think it was very, it was just a very good time. It was very, and even it says it, like, Snoop Dogg is on that cover, too. You know what I mean? Or, like, they talk about Snoop Dogg on that cover. Oh, yeah.

Also Freaknik. But, yeah, I think it's just the most, I think it's just the most, it just, as far as the source magazine that has so many iconic covers, that's just like the one that reaches out to me. Right. It's a man and a moment, like at the same time, captured perfectly. And the Twin Towers, dog. He was so fucking cool, man.

God damn it. He would have made so much good music. So much good music. I think for what a rapper was, as far as charisma, storytelling, funny, and that idea of rap is already an outsider genre, especially at the time. He was just such an outsider, right? He's a big, giant, not handsome guy.

Yeah. It's just like yeah it's just like i think it just really captured him and there's also a leather jumpsuit that says 5001 flavors i mean you know he was sweating in that thing dude his weasel was hot he was so he was like he was like he was trying to make weight for a wrestling meet like level of sweaty in that thing they had to peel him out of it faith evans had to peel him out of faith evans and little kim had to peel them out they had to squash it for a second they were like we need to get him out i don't like you you don't like yeah we need to unite in getting this man that we love out of this jumpsuit 5001 flavors clothing i just looked them up. In Harlem, New York, specializing in bespoke clothing since 1992. Special made to order.

Damn. All right. They're still doing it. Still doing it? All right, guys. I'm calling it. Next time that we go on tour, we're going to the Harvard Lampoon. Yep.

And I'm wearing a 5,001 flavors jumpsuit. Reverse the order. We're going to Harlem first. We're getting jumpsuits. And then we're going to harlem first we're getting jumpsuits and then we're going to the harvard lampoon their website their website the front page is literally that cover i mean it's the best thing they ever did yeah you don't you don't not put that on your website if that's your company that that picture should be in the 9-11 memorial that like that that should be anywhere i'm gonna i'm gonna tat it on my ribs. Yeah. It's fucking amazing. Yeah, the Biggie cover, man.

Dude, their website doesn't seem to sell anything. Go on their Instagram. So I just found out they styled Biggie on the cover of his Life After Death album as well. Oh, shit. So that was a 5001 flavors production. We got to get over there. Yeah. We got to get over there. Yeah. We got to get over there.

Yes. Alex. The Biggie cover. Time for your second pick. I'm going to go with the 2003 King Magazine cover featuring Maya. You motherfucker! I thought I could get it fifth round. Yeah.

I put Jeremy lin fifth round because i know none of you guys picking him um you don't know that oh shoot damn all right let me switch up let me find i might pick him next let me find hadeki matsui no he's not even chinese um but um um no just i mean self-explanatory kind of like the janet jackson one i never owned that magazine never read that story but everybody knows the cover. Everybody knows the photo shoot. My theory, too, is like, I guess it's not King Magazine related. I feel like everybody growing up in my generation subscribed to Maxim or Stuff Magazine at once, once upon a time. Yeah.

Can you guys confirm? They just showed up. Yeah. We hit every house. We just had them. Somehow they just got there on the table and we're like, well, tight. Maxim's here. I had Stuff. That King, though.

All time. All time photo shoot. All time time that was the shot heard around the world i didn't even know she was doing it like that and then i saw like there was some shift or was this the thing i get where did she talk about oh i guess it was this where she talked about like wanting to date like hard dudes yeah she was talking about she said she loved gangsters yeah i mean you got to respect the honesty who wouldn't honestly yeah because because on the cover it says quote i like street smart guys and then there's also a line jay-z's main squeeze dreams of cutting an r&b chick yeah the game rapped about it yeah he rapped about that ass on the cover in front of that king. The game ran out of people to name drop.

He started name dropping magazine covers. I literally have a tab open, and it's just that Maya. I'm looking at it right now. I'm looking at her butt right now. It was also weird because Maya wasn't like, it was a very like, Oh, Maya. Like she wasn't like that.

Remember? She was very like cutesy wootsy. And she was like very innocent for sure. Like you wouldn't, you wouldn't think that. What happened to Maya? Oh, I thought you were going to say what happened to King magazine.

No, I think they're probably still, no, I still, I have, I have bylines on King Magazine about once every three months. What if you just ghost wrote King Magazine? Like, that's how you make your money.

King Magazine sits down with late, late show with James Corden head writer, Ian Carmel. And it's just, you just do the Maya cover. It's like the same exact pose. Yeah. I like gangsters. I like street smart guys. Oh man. Yeah.

That's a great, that's a great, that is a great magazine cover to pick, man. I, I thought I could get it last. I almost use it in the, I almost use it in the first round.

Damn. It's, it's, it's worthy worthy there are like sexually formative magazine covers that will probably come up later but this was like i remember that photo shoot too that was like early internet too yeah that like started popping around you were like oh holy shit it was like back in the day where i was like i didn't have a subscription to king but i would but if I was in a safe way, I would pop over and see what King was doing. I'm going to be in magazines for a minute. One of those. Yeah, I'm going to go look for some stuff.

Put it inside of a field and stream. Yeah, great pick, man. Damn, the new hip wers this season are uh sean jordan time for your second and third picks as his uh i didn't so i was hoping this was a magazine cover i couldn't quite remember and i looked and it was but i wanted it to be because it's one of my favorite images of all time and it's on the cover of life it's muhammad ali standing over sunny liston yeah iconic iconic i had it's it's one where it popped into my head i was like i bet it's a magazine cover and it was and that's just where he's just holding it's insane how tough if i was a rapper i would have that framed right next to my scarface poster somewhere in the house it'd just be up there it's so sick looking and you're just like yeah

there that sums it all up man that is you that is how it's going yeah that's like yeah that's like an iconic just photo from that century right yeah yeah i mean it's crazy how dope it is was it a magazine cover i guess it was, yeah. Yeah, it was life. It was the cover of life. That's why I was really hoping for it because I just thought of the image and I thought I remembered it being a magazine cover. But yeah, I mean, that's straight up,

just right there. Him just standing over Sonny Liston. You know, the story behind that is he's yelling at him because he thought- Because he wouldn't say his name, right? No, because they thought Sonny Liston was taking a dive wait really yeah i thought it was because sonny liston wouldn't call him muhammad ali or cassius clay he kept or wait he wouldn't call him oh no that's a beyonce song sean i i completely thought it was a different thing his child i'm thinking about that a lot

no they thought i forget like there was a rumor that sunny listen was taking a dive or something like that and like muhammad ali like was knocking him down too easily or something like that and he was yelling at him i think to like get back up that's awesome interesting does that sound right alex no i think that checks out i remember reading about that too i would not get up fuck no dude, dude. Look how big his... If you see that picture, look how big his arm is. And he just, like... I bet it was so shocking to fight him when you actually... As soon as you actually figured out what was happening,

when how fast he was, and what was going to happen in the fight, I bet you were just like, oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. Like if your car, like if you can't stop and you're sliding on ice or something, you just can't do anything about it. Yeah, Jafio.

I'm just trying... I'm looking up at this picture. No, I'm interested. It's beautiful. Bob and Ali. A lot of boxers not very photogenic. That's not a photogenic career path.

You ever seen a picture of Marvelous Marvin Hagler? Yeah. Marvelous is Hagler. Yeah. Marvelous is in quotes. Yeah. Oh, that's tight. Oh, man. You know, out of nowhere, but this I just reminded, somebody tweeted the other day,

they quoted a King Tuff line that you said, Ian, and it was that King Tuff invented barbecue sauce because he pointed at ketchup. Pretty funny. Oh, yeah. Pretty funny.

That's hilarious. I'm nice with it, dude dude i just wanted to bring it up yeah yeah man that um i don't know just that image is shocking to me how just how dope and tough it is yeah uh and yeah number numeral trace i'm gonna go on the cover time 2009 barry o oh you're going to the shepherd fairy yeah that because it was the shepherd fairy it's just so sick the colors and everything it was just such a fun picture it just looks fun and it was like such a such a hopeful time you know like everything seemed like oh oh, cool. We're on the right track. You know, I met that guy one time.

Barry O? No, Shepard Fairey. When did you meet Shepard Fairey? I did a show that he was at during the pandemic of all time in Highland Park. Yeah, it was really weird. Neil Brennan was there. It was a very strange day. Weren't you in the same room with michelle obama at

one point yeah michelle i saw michelle obama talking to sam jackson and snoop dogg it's the best i maxed out was that the espies yeah yeah yeah that's tight i didn't even get to talk to her like she was like uh no yeah which you know can't. I get it. Now Barack Obama complimented my jacket over zoom once. I love it. What'd you say? I blushed. You were giving him dating advice, dude. Yeah.

He was giving me dating advice. I blushed. Yeah. I wasn't giving Barack Obama dating advice. Barack, you're back out there, dude. Sean, I don't want to, I feel like you are, are uh you are strolling away from your soul in in search of picks that hit more of a mainstream appeal right now i hate to i i i'm saying this out of love i'm not saying this as a criticism well they're just like iconic

magazine covers the last two are going to be skateboard covers. All right. I mean, I could have done all five. I just felt like that would have been weird. You don't think so? As weird as one of your favorite being a picture of Barack Obama? That's pretty dank. So if you want to know where it comes from, Eric Koston did one that said dope, and it was Eric Koston, but it was the same picture. So that's like like you could have picked

that well that wasn't a magazine cover sean i want you to do what you want to do also we should get a tuna melt later i've had tuna melts in my head i love it right i've just been thinking about i fucking love a tuna melt i've been thinking about it for like four days yeah i'm trying to think you know what like i'm not this isn't a tuna melt this is a different story entirely but you know what you know what's a good fucking sandwich in portland uh is the is you go to the goose hollow in you get a ruben and you get a red beer oh with tomato yeah you get a ruben and a red beer at the goose hollow in dude okay that's a good fucking time. It's not a tuna melt.

They might have tuna melts. We're going to figure it out. Alex, if you know anywhere to get a good tuna melt in Portland, this is a great place to chime in, dude. I'm going to pass on this one. All right. Fair for the pick. But it is time for your third pick.

I'm going to go with a 1999 XXL cover cover with ja rule jay-z and dmx dressed in all black it says it says introducing ja rule jay-z and dmx murder inc you know we're talking about biggie earlier to me like after biggie passed if you look at that post biggie era these were the three biggest guys on on the east coast and it's a shame they never actually got together and did an album. I know they had a couple of mixtape tracks and did cameos on each other's albums. We also, I want to use this space to talk about when Nas was on Murder, Inc. for like two weeks. Remember that? I never knew that.

No. Listen, I did know that. Weird. Weird. Nas, though. That weird gif. Nas and Irv Gotti were hanging out at some point. Nas makes a lot of very weird moves.

He's touring with a, he just did a show in Portland with the Philharmonic Symphony. I saw that. One of my buddies, Jeff, went to that. I was like, what the fuck? Am I the only guy who gets the feeling that, like, i don't think naz really likes rapping very much i've i've i'm of the opinion that with naz there's a lot more milk than there is cereal even though the cereal is delicious it's also really hard when your first album is ilmatic yeah and you just get compared to that the rest of your career what are you gonna do and it's just like but like ilmatic

is also perfect. Perfect. I remember listening to that interview where he was like, I wanted that album to sound like New York City at nighttime. And then I went to New York City and I was like, he's exactly correct. No, perfect vibe, everything. But you chasing that. Also, he's terrible at picking beats. He is notoriously a poor beat picker. Like DJ Premier loves you.

Why don't you just make songs with him only? Don't. Pete Rock loves you. Why don't you just redo the Illmatic model over and over again? Because I don't think he likes rapping that much, dude. But he's still rapping. But like, I'm going to do comedy until they kill me. No, that's fair. Doesn't mean i like it i actually really like it it comes and goes that's fair actually that's a very reasonable thing to say

about it uh i'm good i i lost what i was talking about i lost it no i was being a murdering for a minute oh yeah but no that cover is also really cool, because you're right, because I don't think Jay-Z, not because Biggie died, but I don't think Jay-Z came into his own until after Big was gone. Like, to take that King of New York spot, I don't think he, I love Reasonable Doubt, but I'm like, you know what I mean? But I don't think he like, I don't think he stepped up into that Like, oh, it's Jay-Z until after that. And I think you're right. I think that this was that that time, you know, Jay-Z was on Murder, Inc. I didn't know that. I feel embarrassed.

No, no, no. They were just going to form a group. They were going to form a group together. OK, great, great. It was going to be like a super team type thing. And it just never happened. And they named it after the famous group of Jewish assassins, Murder Inc. Shout out to Albert Anastasia.

I bet you didn't think I could add to that. And I did. I did. I would have thought you could add to that. I absolutely would have. I'm the one who wasn't going to be able to add to that. You still can't. Yo, but seriously though,

I know DMX not with us anymore, R.I.P. But if those three did a versus of just their hits, I feel like Ja Rule might come out on top. If you're just talking hits. Ja Rule has more hits. If you're just talking hits. He's got a lot of hits. You gotta make people dance. You gotta make people dance. Jay-Z's hits, like, Jay-Z's, like,

club bangers are all pretty bad. What's Jay-Z, like, he got Big Pimpin'? I just wanna give it to me you know give me that but that whole albedo isn't like a club like the songs that jay-z made to like try to appeal to hard knock life is pretty good but like a lot of those a lot of his like club songs are pretty trash no i think ja rule's got the most bangers out of those three if you're talking about i mean what would i be without my baby dude i love that amazing i used i love that song ja you know what

ja rule did he made a lot of songs that made me wish i had a girlfriend in junior high yes that's what that's sweet that was that where would i be without my baby that song that was like on one of the first burn cds i ever got from a buddy i i made a playlist and i was like make this cd for me because i didn't have a computer and that song was on it and i would just for hours i'd listen to that song drive around looking for skate spots by myself at like one in the morning where would i be without my baby i like i that music to me sometimes and this is a very you know don't tell anybody sometimes i'll put those songs on when i'm in the car with a girl because i always wanted to feel

what it was like to listen to those songs with a girl yeah you're going back yeah yeah i make laura do it a lot she's like i've never heard of jaw rule and i'm like let's go to church and then i just turn the lights on jaw rule no she's heard of jaw rule i'm sure i made a girl drive me to sonic this summer playing summer nights by lil rob this summer i like that that was this summer i thought you're gonna say in high school no that just happened i thought you were just about to happen is your third pick oh my third pick i am going to what is hold on i got the month here i am going to february 2002 sports illustrated the chosen one lebron james yeah he got the fucking cover as a high school player. That shit was nuts.

Do you remember that? Like, do you remember everybody being like, what the, like, I remember it just being like such a bigger conversation, like where people was like, what's going on?

Like he's an amateur. Like that shit was insane. He was in fucking high school. It was crazy. And that St. Vincent St. Mary Jersey looked dope. And he had the green headband on, I think. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the gold basketball, he looked young. insane he was in fucking high school it was crazy and that saint vincent saint mary jersey looked dope and he had the green headband on i think right yeah yeah yeah the gold basketball he

looked young it was just a whole new thing like there had been we like listen there were guys who went straight right there are guys who went right after high school they had phenoms there was not that and not that was junior year of high school junior year that shit was insane yeah he's a couple months yeah he's like two months younger than me so we were the same age no it's uh i i did a i did a whole chapter in my book about about that cover david and and one of the things well your book one of the things one of the things with um with that is slam actually was the first one to go out there to akron to profile him this was about like six months before he landed on SI. But Slam didn't have the balls to put him on the cover,

even though they did a whole photo shoot. No way. Which in retrospect, you kind of understand because like you guys were saying, he was just going into like his junior season. It was crazy. It was unprecedented. Like you couldn't put someone like that. And Slam was different from SI because Slam needed to actually sell units every month.

It's not like they had millions of subscribers. But their founder, Dennis Page, when I interviewed him for the book, he says that's the only thing he ever regrets is not putting LeBron on the cover. Because whenever people think about covers with LeBron, that's the first one that always comes to mind, right? It's SI. Right. Is that the one? Is the the slam the one where he had the afro yeah so he there's like a photo shoot like on the on the like a on a railroad track um and the actual cover actual cover was like shack like they had shack on the cover um and yeah no it's still it still messes them up today so like today when they have high schoolers now, like

Slam will always put them on the cover because they don't want to miss again I mean, it was just that's a tough lottery to be playing you get like Mac McClung on the cover I mean, it's also like we forget how much the game has changed like, there's no Mikey Day

without that, right? or what's Mikey's last name? is it the same day? Mikey Williams? there's no Mikey Day without that, right? Or what's Mikey's last name? Is it the same day? Mikey Williams. Mikey Williams. There's no Mikey Williams without, like, I just remember, like, it was just amazing. I had never, I was in high school when that happened,

and I remember just being like, yo, this dude is like, we used to watch him on, we watched him play a high school game. He didn't, like, I don't know. It's just like, I think LeBron James is the best at basketball as a player. Does that make sense? And I think this was like the beginning of the, he's Mr. Basketball in a way that Michael Jordan never could because he's a bad guy. This guy's talking like Scottie Pippen right now. We're both from Arkansas. We both have had sex with women who have had sex with future uh yeah i think it was just it was the beginning of the era it was such a shot heard around the

world i had that si like at my house you know i did too it was so fucking cool it was amazing and it felt like you know in the way that generations are so important it was like fucking somebody from our age is on the cover of fucking sports illustrated like that was that that is blew your mind so much more we had just gotten our driver's licenses you know what i mean like that kind of shit and you're like and this dude's on the cover they did it again a few years later with bryce harper and that worked out too uh with baseball but you forget the ones that didn't work out because like they put Sebastian Telfair on the cover

like two years after that. I had that cover too. You know. Remember Felipe Lopez? They put him on the cover when he went to one of his college. I forgot about that guy

the Dominican guy or Puerto Rican right? Dominican Michael Jordan. Yeah. They used to call me that but that was because of you know my dice skills. Plus LeBron because they called him Chosen One on the cover.

LeBron got a tattoo of that. He has a Chosen One tattoo on his back. That's right. I think he's the best at being an athlete. But anyways. Pretty rad. LeBron James. Time for my third pick.

We mentioned it earlier. This is kind of my version of the uh maya magazine cover although it came along a little later in my life there was a cover of hebe magazine i was gonna pick this but i can't say that word aforementioned that had sarah silverman on the cover the, and the caption is holy sheet. And there's a hole in it. Like that's right on her cleavage. And I was like a young Jewish.

I liked comedy. I don't think I was really doing comedy yet, but I was, but I loved it. And like, here is this, you know, beautiful standup comedian,

a Jewish woman. It was fucking hot. It was like Hebe magazine. It was just when I was like trying to fit, let like i'm like being jewish is cool it could be a cool thing there was this like cool new york magazine this fucking hot jewish woman on the cover of it oh it's like with an inside jokey sort of like you know the having sex through the hole in the sheet kind of thing and it just meant a lot to me it on like several different levels like it meant a lot to me it was like we can be sexy we can be cool we can have like inside jokes

with ourselves and shit like that like it was just it was it was a very cool thing to me did i ever tell you i met her one time with sean yeah and she was like sometimes you meet people and you're like oh that's why she was like the most do you remember and you're like, oh, that's why. She was like the most. Do you remember that, Sean? No. Were we at Largo? No, we were at UCB. Me and you were at UCB.

I don't know. I don't know why Ian wasn't there. I remember Sean having met her there. Yeah. I've worked with her a few times. Have I told you? So the first time I met her, I think I might have told you guys this, but I was in the green room.

It was Doug Benson, Chelsea Peretti, and Sarah Silverman and me at the green room at UCB. And me! You dick! That's that time! Really? Did we know each other? Yeah! No, no, no. Yes! We talked about it. You still have the Miracle Whip.

No, this is way before the Miracle Whip. Oh, okay. So, because this time... So, you met Sarah Silverman and Chelsea Peretti another time with me again? I had to have. Because this, I remember specifically because Comedy Death Ray was going on, and Doug was trying to get Scott Aukerman to give me a set later that night. He was out on stage, and Doug goes, this is my friend Sean. And then I looked at Sarah, and I was like, Sean Patrick Jordan.

And I was like, why the fuck did you just say that? And then she like turned over and she goes, well, Sean Patrick Jordan, it's very nice to meet you. And I was by that point, I was staring at the ground like you fucking idiot, dude. And then it was just me and her and Chelsea Peretti. And then I left because I had no business being in there. I'm sorry, David. I feel like a prick.

I don't remember that at all. Yeah, we were all standing. It's weird. there i'm sorry david i feel like a prick i don't remember that at all we were all standing it's weird and i remember it because i remember specifically it was weird that we were out without ian but we were at the old ucb franklin in that like hallway like the concrete like walk up and we were all in a circle and i just remember thinking like this is the most charming woman i have ever met incredible it charm. It's shocking. Yeah.

I remember at UCB one time, I was trying to get Jon Hamm to take a picture with me. And I was like, I go, my girlfriend's mad at me. Will you take a picture with me? I don't know what I was. And Sarah, she comes up. She's like, why would that matter? I was like, I don't know. I just didn't want to sound like a dork. But then they they're like this is way stupider trying to give him an excuse like this is going to make her not mad at me

that i'm with you dipshit dipshit anyway move i can't i've never heard of that magazine i i don't know how i would have but it just it wasn't on the shelves in Sioux Falls. You didn't meet a Jew until me. Of course you haven't heard of Hebe magazine. David Boren, time for, oh no, it's time for my fourth pick. Oh my God. With my fourth pick. This might be the most recent magazine cover that gets taken in this whole draft. I'm taking it back to February of 2020.

The magazine is Gentleman's Quarterly. And the man on the cover is wearing nothing couture, Larry David. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. Just Larry David wearing his Larry David-ass shirt and his Larry David-ass pants and his Larry David-ass busted-ass shoes, arms out, just fucking an icon on the cover of GQq made it to the cover of gq just being himself

just being he never played never played and i like dressing up i like cool clothes and all that shit but i just think it's so fucking dope that this guy made it to the cover of gq just completely by being himself yeah like completely by being himself a Yeah. Like completely by being himself. A magazine devoted to men's fashion. And he's on there in like a shirt you would wear to go Christmas tree. Like you're hunting. You know what I mean? Yeah. How did he become a style God?

This is the weirdest thing ever. Norm core. I think it's, I think it has to do with the rise of norm core. Yeah. Completely norm core. Yeah. That's completely it.

Like you'll see a hot 21 year old dressing the exact same way as larry david looks cool now absolutely i know girls who dress like larry david i do too i don't i mean i know i'm gonna sound like a fuddy-duddy but the way kids are dressing skirt what is so stupid i it's like i look at a kid and i'm like this is what my stepdad thought and but he was he was wrong he was wrong i'm right no the kids look so stupid i look dope no i'm telling you i swear no i did i did no dude yes i did you gotta let it you gotta let it all happen yeah you you didn't look cool i did too you looked like you sang r&b which is fucking cool that's cool i looked cool you gotta let the kids have it man cool as cool as cool as not for you oh i'm letting i'm not trying to look cool but i have joggers on

in a in an afa hoodie that is my version of cool right now. That's cool. That is cool. You hear that? That's cool, kids. That's cool. You just got to let it happen, dude. There's a kid in my, our like writer's assistant, like our cool, like young, cool writer's assistant. This dude, Tufan. Shout out to Tufan if you listen.

I don't think you do. That's a cool name. That is a cool name. Man. Shout out to Hot Rob too, dude. And Rob Angala. You guys met at my engagement party but shout out to rob angala who listens to afe we love you rob yeah i love you dude uh but

too fond like dresses super normcore and like larry david is his icon and yeah he just somehow fucking crept in with the kids i think just by being himself i think that like so much of what's happening now is like a is a reaction to hype culture and all that shit and not being able to get stuff. And there's just like, the kids are just embracing, they just wear Nike blazers and like fucking khakis and shit. You know what I mean?

Cause everyone can get it. It's so funny that you said, yeah, the writer's assistant. Cause I was just in a room last week with a writer's assistant where I was like, you dress like a mom in 97 yeah that's what they're doing now yeah it's like it's it's like one day he was wearing elastic waisted jeans dude that's wild

it was nuts it was nuts yes they can have they can have it i will look as i will look 40 and also sean when you were a boy, you looked nuts. I looked dope. We don't need to get nuts. You wore a lot of silk shirts as a child. I did. Silk is not for children. If there's one thing I know, it's silk is not for children.

Yeah, if there's one thing you take away from this podcast, the entirety of our output, silk is not for kids. Silk is not for kids. Well, I beg to differ, but we don't have to. You can beg all you want. Silk is not for kids.

Yeah, no one is changing anybody's mind. David, time for your fourth pick. Silk is not for kids. I think it is. I look cool. Silk is for kids. Put your kids in silk. It's awful.

When you see a child in silk, you're like, it makes the kid look like he has sex that's weird well david some of us were cool and we did go ahead that is fair you didn't have sex as a kid i don't really know what you want else you want me to say i feel like we're bordering some strange line uh that we i don't really even like exploring the space. Okay. So, oh, 1985, the Afghani girl on the National Geographic with the green eyes. Amazing. Like, it's like haunting.

Haunting. Haunting. It's like, just like, I love National Geographic for the pictures anyways. Read a lot of, thumbed through a lot of them as a kid. Never read them. Never read any articles. So it's like a place that has incredible pictures anyways. And that picture is just like, I don't think you get to, there's a lot of amateur photographers out here these days. I don't think a lot of people get to capture humanity in that way it was like it's a war picture which seems to

like also make it more intense yeah it's just amazing it's just amazing everybody's seen it bored through your soul dude that picture isn't like there's just universal power to it she's beautiful of course but there's something about that image that it's just universal power to it. She's beautiful, of course, but there's something about that image that is just like fucking blast right through the back of your head, dude. I don't know what it is. It's just like, because she's looking at you

and she's kind of dirty and she's beautiful. It's just amazing. It's an amazing picture. I don't know what else to say about it other than it's haunting. What I will say is, as district champion of the National Geography,

presented by National Geographic, I did get a free subscription. Are you serious? And I did read the articles. You were district champion? I was district champion, seventh place on the state. Dude. Yeah. That's how you write a book as a child about politics.

That's right. That's sick. Cover theaq war earlier i did not know that oh yeah first one how old were you when that happened i want to compare to what i was doing this was fifth grade oh sean so you were eating poop i had a silk shirt i definitely had a silk shirt at that point five or six you were having sex and smoking cigarettes i wasn't having sex. We're not far away. I was competing with sixth, seventh, and eighth graders as well. Seventh place in the state. So was I for the same girl.

Too much? No, perfect. Silk shirt, not for kids. Not for the boys. We're going to get to Alex Wong's fourth pick, but first we're going to take a sneaky little break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you.

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2002, February 2002 slam cover with the Clippers, Elton Brand, Lamar Odom, Darius Miles wearing each other's jerseys backwards. Elton's got the backwards hat. Lamar Odom's got the headband. Darius Miles got the do-rag. For me, it was cool because I wore jerseys backwards a couple times in high school um just because everybody else was doing it you were in high school and also there was a time when lamar odom to me was like one of the coolest players dude and it was cool and there was a time that was the period and i know the clippers have gotten like a little better now but like there was a time in those early 2000s when the clippers were just cool like they were part of like pop culture

i i think it's because of the oh boy video you're probably right no you're probably the head pounds yeah yeah they were cool it was like it was like this new it was like the research it's what the kings were had been trying to do is what i feel like yeah i don't know if it's it it was like if we were young it's probably a was like, if we were young, it's probably a little bit because we were so young, but also like there's never been an NBA team that felt more like hopeful or like, Oh shit,

what's about to happen. Yeah. I know what I mean? Like, Oh fuck, what's about to happen to the NBA? Are these guys about to like, I don't even know what,

like it seemed like bigger than they were about to like rattle off three championships or something like that it was just like oh shit the whole game's about to change and it kind of did like all these i mean darius miles did and even lamar odom neither of them l brand was the traditional power forward but like those two guys were like the free darko ass like liberated basketball not not married to a position kind of guys that were like the free Darko ass, like liberated basketball, not, not married to a position kind of guys. That was like the promise of like Lamar Odom and Darius miles to an extent.

And neither of them ever got there, but the NBA did like LeBron did, you know, like you have a six, eight, 280 pound dude playing point guard and all that shit. Like, and I guess that was just like the first crack in the ice maybe i don't know

yeah that was an exciting time i i totally agree with you it was so exciting what jerseys were you wearing alex oh man had a randy moss oakland raiders jersey i used to wear a lot of straight cash homie you know the michelle jerseys a little bit it was like the michelin s era right so i think everybody had the alex english the Denver Nuggets, the rainbow design. Dude, I had a Alfonso Ellis jersey back in the day. Oh, man. I liked the Van Axel Nuggets, the dark, the navy blue with the copper kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I had an Antonio McDyess Nuggets. There we go. You rocked it backwards to school. Rasheed Wallace. Like, just a couple times. I saw people do it in rap videos. I was like, let me try this.

Which Rasheed Wallace? Which Rasheed Wallace? Washington Bullets. I got a Blazers one, too, though. I got a Blazers one, too. My man. My man. That's what I was looking for.

You know what I was fishing for. I got a Blazers one, too. I had the fucking Damon Stoudemire Raptor dribbling a basketball. Yeah, that's OG. Charles Oakley Knicks. I have a DMACC one of those right now. Robert Ori, Houston Rockets. That's one of my favorite jerseys I own.

Every Grand Hill jersey ever made, I stole from Sears. Yeah, the teal and all that. God damn, Grand Hill jerseys were cool. Dude, everything that said Hill on it, I was like, I'll be stealing that. Thank you very much. Derek Coleman, New Jersey Nets. Oh, yeah. So many.

Sean had a lot of Keith Van Horn merchandise. Not necessarily NBA licensed, but just like Keith Van Horn. Yeah, he just had like the shit. Just Keith Van Horn sitting at a piano. Keith Van Horn. No, you guys were saying a couple episodes ago, like trying to pull off clothes, right? Like hockey. I think hockey jerseys are one of them.

And that resonated with me so much because I'm here in Canada. I own hockey jerseys. But they're just impossible to wear. I feel like I always look like a clown whenever I put it on. Yes. What kind of pants do you put on? Like sweats, but then you look like a clown. I don't know.

You look like Adam Sandler. They're hard to fucking pull off, man. Like put it over a hoodie. It still looks weird. I don't know. For me, Adam Sandler. They're hard to fucking pull off, man. Put it over a hoodie, it still looks weird. I don't know. For me, baseball jerseys are the easiest. Baseball jerseys are the easiest to wear day to day. I had a Griffey Mariners jersey that was... I think baseball jerseys are the coolest jerseys, too.

I don't think there's a lot of jerseys cooler than the Los Angeles Dodgers. I got a Spitfire baseball jersey right now that's pretty dank. Well, that's different. No, it's sick. I get to wear a baseball jersey without having to like act like i like baseball it's dank i said it's dank i baseball jerseys are the best at this but i am uncomfortable with any sport style jersey that's not affiliated directly with a team ah yeah i understand so when brands like when brands do jerseys is that what you're saying sports style jersey that's not affiliated directly with a team. Yeah, I understand. So when brands do jerseys, is that what you're saying? Yeah.

You can't wear like a DC shoes basketball jersey or something. No. Like a supreme baseball jersey, you're not doing that. Baseball's the best at it. That's the closest it comes to me thinking it's cool. It's a pretty good point. I never thought about that. What about a no limit football jersey though? Well, yeah, obviously.

I was born in one. I'll be buried in one. Yeah, like... I'm going out the same way I came in. That's a sport, though, dude. No-limit's a sport. Yeah, I was going to say, what do you define as a sport?

You know what was cool for a little bit, too? Well, probably not cool, but when the poker boom was happening, like, those guys used to have their own jerseys, like a phil ivy jersey like that was another level too man i was a poker guy for a minute can i ask chris moneymaker if i designed my own jersey now yeah yeah okay okay no ask a question get an answer all right no i'm trying to figure out. I just, you got to float it out there. You got to take chances, you know? Wait, let's interrogate it for a second.

Let's interrogate it for a second. What sport jersey? I think it would have to be baseball. Baseball? Like your name on the back? Silent G. My name on the back. What would it be at the front, though?

That's the hard part. It's that Rolex. My football team is called the Wash Park Manglers, so maybe like Manglers. What if you steal heavy hitter crew from that baseball team that was called the heavy hitter crew? That's pretty cool. And it's two baseball bats crossed with a cartoon version of your face over them? That's pretty cool. I mean, like...

Guys, I'm not trying to force it. I'm just saying, like, I've always loved it when people wear their own clothing. I like hip-hop jerseys. Like, Rough Riders records, like football jerseys. I thought those were cool.

They were cool. They were cool. Listen, we'll talk about it later. I'll send you guys some sketches. I got some mock- some sketches i got some mock-ups i got some mock-ups i'm i i'm all i'm saying right now is maybe i answered too quickly okay thank you that's all yeah that's all i want i just i just need a foot in the door i just need a foot in the door sean jordan time for your fourth and then your final picks as it is a

serpentine draft okay well i apologize for upsetting you fine folks i will i will stick i will go back to my roots oh you didn't upset anybody you're right you know what i mean i was just uh so do me a solid all of you you because you're not going to know what i'm talking about but just google tom penny august 96 trans world so you know what i'm talking about dude so the first the first like magazine skate magazine that i ever remember seeing was this Transworld. The cover, when you look at it, it's Tom Penny doing a blunt slide down this big four-block curved ledge. A blunt slide is where

the back wheels and the board is straight up. The sunset in the background and the border, the maroon border kind of thing, and just his hair and how baggy his shit is. Before I knew who Tom Penny was, which if you know anything about skating, Tom Penny is one of the best that was ever on a board,

one of the most stylish, looked the coolest. And I saw that and I was like, that is, that's like, I was chasing that dragon, I still am. With every time I'm on a board, I'm like, I want someone to look at me and have the feeling that I got and currently getting when I'm describing it.

Cause it looks so icy and cool. Somebody to see you can get a boner. Dude. It's if, if that makes sense, the closest thing, cause now I'm watching it and I'm like that total, just,

I know you, I'm just like, yeah, that totally, that's the closest thing. Like non-sexual thing that you're going to get where I'm, you can like, it sparked those same feelings as something like it looks like never-ending summer it's beautiful like it looks like and the thing is so with this cover summer and like

and fucking i don't know yeah there's no footage of this trick so the thing is with what one thing is real cool about this is there's no footage of it so nobody knows if he did it you just have to respect the game enough to think like yeah he probably he probably did it. This new kid, Ryan DeCenzo, just did that trick, that exact trick that he's doing at that exact spot, just did it like, I think a month ago. And there's footage of it. So it's kind of funny where you're like, oh man, I'm not happy about it. I wish nobody would have ever gone and done it. I think it's kind of whack that somebody did. Because up until that point, we were just assuming that tom penny was the one person that could like blunt slide that ledge and get away with it with no footage because he was that good and you just

believe it uh and he he's like notoriously one of the best skaters he only he's kind of like like to not like naz he had one amazing video part in etni's High Five that was just astonishing when you watch it. And then he never really had another part that lived up to that. And he was always compared to that part. And that was his first part ever. So anyway, that was the first cover that went on my wall when I was a kid. I cut it out and I was like, I just tacked it onto my wall in the middle of nowhere. Just, you know, look at that.

And then years later, the whole wall was pictures out of magazines. But that was the very first one. First skateboard magazine I ever got was that and that cover. And it's still hands down the best cover in the world to me as far as skate magazines go. That's fucking sick. So there's that one. And then the second one, this will be my fifth pick. I'll go quick but

so google jeremy ray thrasher 98 tell me it should be jeremy ray ollieing from one like oil oil you know those like oh i've seen that hundred foot high like oil drums or whatever i know that before that is a really cool picture so when that came out what it is, is Jeremy Ray ollieing, I think it's like 30 feet. Maybe I'm crazy, but it's long. No, 30 feet. It's a long ways. And he's ollieing from one tower to another. And the shot came out before the footage.

And then when you see the footage, it was in the Plan B industry section of 411 Volume 30, I think. So you see the footage and you see how big it is. But what you don't see in the cover is that every time he tried it and didn't do it his board would fall to the ground

and he would have to jump run and jump over to the other side and that is scarier to me than him doing it

because he just jumped it with his feet and anyway that was the first like death defying where you're like

geez you could get fucked up if you didn't. If he hit a rock or anything, it would just be... It's a wrap. You remember, I saw it and I was just like, holy shit, that's when I was

happy that I wasn't going to be a professional skateboarder or a sponsor skater because I'm like, no, it's dangerous. I don't want to be doing that. That was the other one where it's like it's like absolute game changer seeing that cover that's fucking crazy he's so small in that picture and he so there was just a little expose i think on jenkom with him where he drove he went back to it and wait wait wait an expose on what it's called jenkom i know there's a skate magazine called jenka which jenka and when you say jenka i mean the gross jenka that's why they named their magazine that

but anyway jeremy ray was like i drove by this every day for years and one day just decided to try to do it and then i did it it's fucking insane to me to look at that and be like i should ollie from one of those to the other crazy crazy shit some of us just look at that and be like, I should Ollie from one of those to the other. Crazy, crazy shit. Some of us just look at the world different. Yeah, not me, man. Black and white and silk shirts are okay for kids. They're not okay for kids. They're not okay for kids.

Alex, time for your final pick. The lightning round. Final pick. Apologies to Jeremy Lin. Going to skip you this time. Maybe next draft. 1996. November 96. GQQ Men of the Year cover with Jerry Seinfeld, Mel Gibson, and Michael Jordan. I just feel like, you know, as someone who, you know, grew up in the 90s, this really just captured everything, right?

Like Seinfeld. We talked about Jordan earlier. I guess Mel Gibson was big at the time because of Braveheart i want to say yeah it's probably the braveheart era definitely not this era but um yeah i just love um i just love old 90s magazine covers that just take you to like a very specific moment in time like i feel like if anybody asked me about the 90s and asked me to show them a cover i'd probably show them this one and be like, yeah, this was very 90s and of the time. You could do a lot worse. All three of those men, different reputations now than when that picture was taken.

I was thinking that where it's like at the time you were like, yeah, the gentleman of the 90s. And now you're like, I don't know. They're all kind of kind of gnarly. Also, Michael Jordan looking like pretty good in the suit. Michael Jordan is probably the best out of those three except for around pretty wild i mean michael jordan's still hot yeah he is but i'm saying like you know michael jordan's not really problematic it per se he was just like a dick he's not a great guy no he's not but the other two did like some actual bad stuff michael jordan's just like a dick you know yeah absolutely

uh excellent pick david time for your final pick march simpson on playboy oh yeah dang i was gonna take that oh really yeah i love it it's like great it's classic i was always a march head anyways we were all googling it anyway it's like let's go ahead let's go ahead and pop it up we've all seen the bootleg cartoons let's make it official those things that you want to click on over the porn sometimes we're like this is more interesting i want to watch a lot better than when i always make why does it always make from family yeah it's always it's weird man maybe's attainable. That's what people say. Also, I saw Nermal on the cover of Swank once.

That was weird. I don't like that. Is Swank one of the gnarlier ones? Yeah, I think it's one of the gnarlier ones. Yeah. Excellent pick. I think it's one of the gnarlier ones. My final pick, Rolling Stone magazine, the year is 1998.

Hello Nasty is the album and the beastie boys on the cover of rolling stone dressed like kind of like a ymca basketball team yeah yeah just looking rad just cool dudes they were another where you're like they they didn't feel to me like they were doing too much different than what they did in life they were just cool they just were cool all the time yeah whole lives just fucking cool guys and now i live right down the street from where their california record label and their offices was so sick you know what i was thinking about that them like literally like three days ago i was thinking about them because like fight for your right to party is such like a dickhead song like they're dicks yeah like yeah

like they're like your your parents don't want you to smoke your mom threw out your porn and they're like you gotta fight for that shit to their credit they later came out and were like oh we were uh we we were joking you know pretty fucking funny that they came out with it in the first place i love it you watch the apple tv documentary about him so good the live one yeah i read the book i got the dot yeah awesome um those are our picks marissa do you have a pick i know david took your uh march simpson porno my pick was march simpson i just remember don't say march simpson porno that's different don't say it like that marissa you can't take march simpson porno. That's different. Marge Simpson porno, dude. Don't say it like that. Marissa, you can't take Marge Simpson porno. David took the Marge Simpson porno.

David picked a live video for his last pick of magazine covers, and it was a Marge Simpson porn from Pornhub. Do you have a backup, Marissa? With Peter Griffin. I do not. I just wanted to shout out that, yeah, he was like the first, I guess, cartoon character ever depicted on a Playboy magazine. And I remember that being like the biggest news when I was a kid.

I was like, whoa, are they going to show her naked? I've only drawn that. I was going to say, got drawn a lot, a lot sooner. But yeah, I love it. I love it. Also, swank is dirty. Yeah. Swank's dirty.

One of the gnarlier. You're looking up swank right now? Yeah. Oh, you're going to get flagged. The hotel's going to fucking move you to a different room, dude. You got to go downstairs. Sean Jordan, you went first you took the death row vibe cover the life magazine ali over list and time magazines 2009 shepherd

fairy print of barack obama then the tom penny august 96 trans world picture jeremy ray and thrash are going from oil derrick to oil derrick or oil barrel whatever they are alex you went second you took the mark uh mark mcguire and sammy sosa in togas and sandals on si the maya cover of king magazine from 2003 the 1999 double xl jaw rule jay-z and dmx murder inc cover the february 2002 slam magazine with the clippers and then the gq from november of 96 with seineld, Mel Gibby, and Michael Jordan on the cover. David, you went third. You took the Janet Jackson titties, Rolling Stone,

The Source, Biggie and the Twin Towers, February 2002 Sports Illustrated with LeBron, The Chosen One, The National Geographic, Afghan Woman, and then Marge on the cover of Playboy. I went last. I took, if you don't buy this magazine, we're going to kill this dog, which we all think is very funny.

National Lampoon. 1998, Sports Illustrated, the Bulls gambling on the floor of their team plane. Sarah Silverman's Hebe magazine cover. Larry David's GQ magazine cover. And the Beastie Boys 98 Rolling Stone magazine cover. Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew. Bang, bang, bang, bang, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew. We left a lot of good stuff on the board.

Some amazing ones. That Seinfeld where they were all wearing leather. I had that on my list. TLC on Vibe, Snoop and Dre. I had to try so hard to make it not all 90s hip hop, honestly. ESPN, ESPN the magazine. I was going to do Steve Francis and Destiny's Child. Oh, yeah. Oh, who was the dude on the Naked on the naked issue well there's the prince fielder one prince fielder prince

that was awesome yeah yeah there was there was one i tried to find and i couldn't find any proof but i remembered it was clyde drexler on sport si for kids with the airplane wings i couldn't find it anywhere to prove that it was a real magazine cover you're talking about clyde the client clyde the clyde that was real right i'm not making that that it was a real magazine cover. Oh, you're talking about Clyde the Clyde? Clyde the Clyde. That was real, right? I'm not making that up. It was a cover for SI for Kids. I swear to God, but I couldn't find it, so I couldn't pick it. I never read SI for Kids.

I found it... Pedantic. I found it pedantic. Am I using that right? No. There was a John Belushi Rolling Stone that was John Belushi more than just a pretty face with him on the cover that I thought was really funny. I think Seinfeld had a Playboy too.

Oh yeah, probably. If I'm not mistaken. There's a fucking Sports Illustrated with a Vander Holyfield on it where he's punching someone in the face and it just says, Revenge. It's awesome. I was going to do a bunch ofwf magazines too from the 90s there's like a one with brett the hitman heart and bart

simpson speaking of simpsons it was like the heart foundation oh i remember that yeah man did you guys know swank magazine's been around since 1941 get off the swank page dude of course it came out right at the beginning of ww2 they were sending that overseas the boys in the trenches uh and a big big shout out to the now this is going to be fun sports illustrated magazine cover as a portland trailblazer fan it was fun it was yeah you'll you'll get to the epilogue you'll you'll read about it in cover story oh also that ai is it the sports illustrated yes it's a slam dude yeah or the slam the alan iverson oh yeah the soul on You'll read about it in Cover Story. Oh, also that AI. Is it the Sports Illustrated? Yes, it's a slam, dude.

Or the slam, the Allen Iverson. Oh, yeah, the Solon Ice one. Yeah, God, that guy's cool, man. There was a double XL one of all of Wu-Tang in their prime. Yeah, there was. I think it was at Yankee Stadium. They wore the Yankees jerseys, and the tagline was the house that RZA built, which I thought was a super cool one at the time.

Sean's more of a GZA guy, but we don't like to talk about it. Sean loves the GZA, dude. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon.

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