All Fantasy Everything - Magazines (w/ Adam Cayton-Holland, Katrina Davis)
Episode Date: April 17, 2025'Zines, as they are also called.Guests:Adam Cayton-Holland (@caytonholland)Katrina Davis (@katrinasivad)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes..., mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (@IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (@SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (@Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (@IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
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Prices and participation may vary. for item of equal or lesser value. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts anything and also everything from the world of pop culture.
On today's episode, we will be drafting magazines, the topic that surprisingly has eluded us for 435 episodes.
So lucky number 436. Here we go.
Joining us today are fabulous stand up comedians, just all around talents and amazing friends,
Katrina Davis and Adam Caton-Holland.
I'm Sean Jordan, joining us as always, Mr. David Borey,
Ian Carmel, firmly planted in Bolivia, writing his memoir?
You think that's what he's doing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's in that memoir? The other one.
The other one, what's the other?
Anyway. You can double memoir.
Anyway, everybody can talk, we're in.
So I don't know why we still do this.
We used to do that soft intro
and then switch and do a different intro.
And now we just do that and then say we're in
and everybody can start talking.
That's nice.
It's like, it's just unlock the gates.
Everybody come, everybody get in here.
We're clamoring. We're clamoring to get some audio time.
Open season.
You all did make me think that Ian does dress
like a memoir a lot now.
Like he just constantly is.
He's into jazz, which is memoirish.
He just got real into jazz, did he?
Is it memoirish?
I think so.
I feel like his hats are memoirish these days.
Okay. Did he? Is it memoirish? I think so. I feel like his hats are memoirish these days. Oh, okay.
The only jazz memoir I ever read was kind of terrifying.
Yeah, I bet.
I read Miles Davis' memoir.
I was like, was it horrible and is in lots of heroin?
I mean, he was going for it.
What I learned from that memoir is
some motherfuckers just can't play.
Is that the name of the memoir?
Yeah, basically.
Some motherfuckers just him talking shit about everybody he's playing with.
Yeah, a lot of him being very cavalier about very historic times.
I don't know, I used to just go down there.
I was playing and you're like, cool.
Just Miles not fully grasping the magnitude.
That's how it felt.
That's how a lot of it felt, yeah.
I love that.
You don't want Miles Davis being like,
and then I showed up and I was fucking mastermind again.
I like, he's like, I don't know,
I was just doing my thing, whatever.
That's true.
You also don't, I find with like a lot of that stuff,
you don't want him, I love a cavalier genius.
You don't want him nervous. You don't want them, I love a cavalier genius, you don't want them nervous,
you don't want them to be like, I was so scared.
Yeah.
Yeah, you want them to be like, I just had sex,
finished the cigarette and then record it.
And that's pretty fun.
I like my jazz musicians with a dirty dick,
that's how I like it.
Yeah, yeah, and black lungs.
Sounded like he was smoking during the sex.
And skin, what?
It sounded like he was smoking during the sex, the way. What? It sounded like he was smoking during the sex,
the way you said it.
Just had sex, finished my cigarette.
Did they used to do that?
I, okay.
Can I be, can I be crass for a second?
Oh boy.
I've always wanted, and I don't even smoke weed.
I've always wanted to take a hit off a blunt
while I'm having sex.
While you're doing it?
Yeah.
I feel like you can do it.
I feel like you can do it.
That's an achievable goal.
It is. I don't know if more- I feel like people have sexual fet. I feel like you can do it. That's an achievable goal.
A lot of people have sexual fetishes that they're never gonna reach.
They'll smoke it in the house, so we gotta do it in the yard.
No smoking in the house!
That'll be the tough sell.
You're a dad, get yourself a tent, my man.
That's what I was thinking.
Sean has some romantic camp set up all of a sudden.
She thinks it's because of their anniversary.
It's because he wants to smoke a blunt while he's in it.
Why is there a...
Smoke a blunt while he pumps?
Why is there a bottle of Jameson in here?
Because I want to do it all.
If I'm doing it once, I don't win.
I'm going to get this chance again.
Well, that was all I thought was smoking a blunt,
such a sleepy activity to do
while you're like, you know, getting your heart going.
Yeah.
Hey, good and evil, flame boy and wet willy.
I just...
That's the back end of the blunt.
Is that what you say during sex?
The front end of the blunt.
That's, that's, you got initiative at that point.
That's true.
You're setting out to have fun. Back end lazy.
Oh yeah, I'm not gonna do the end of it.
Oh, fair. Are you lighting it and then starting
or are you starting and then lighting?
In my mind, we're already going.
So I haven't thought of how it gets.
And then you just grab it?
It's lit.
So now, man, it's off screen.
It's off screen.
It's lit.
Getting a spark going.
Yeah, this is where it gets complicated
because now the tent's on fire.
You might need a buddy to hand it to you outside the tent
It's also you reach your hand out
Getting the lighter working would be tough on that
Sold on this tent ID I think more of a blank in the yard and I'm gonna have a I ran with an idea
$300-400 Zippo, I think is what I'm gonna invest in
Good one probably aren't Zipp Zippos kinda pricey?
I don't know.
I remember seeing dudes with Zippos
when I was like 20 and thinking,
that's a cool guy.
I was gonna say, my friend got her boyfriend one
in high school and it was like a very cool thing
for him to have.
Yeah.
They would just light them.
Just be lighting them. They'd like flick it, light it,
flick the thing and you're like, God damn.
Wasting so much fluid.
Yeah.
Like a butterfly knife that's on fire, you know?
I knew it.
I'll share one pack of cigarettes a week.
Yes.
Dude, I knew a kid now I realized was in junior high school
who had a Zippo that was his dad's in NAMM
and it had tick marks for every day
that he had been in Nam.
Whoa.
Bori, I got news for you, those are bodies, dude.
That's not days in Nam.
Oh, no!
That's a body count on the side of that Zippo.
Oh, no, god damn it, it probably was.
His dad was an assassin, bruh.
It definitely was.
That makes sense why his dad was so quiet at that point,
because I met the guy, he didn't have a lot to say
Oh my goodness. Yeah, nom dads are real. Yeah, he did ask if I was VC, which I think was weird at the time
Venture capitalist though. He was looking for a startup
He's reselling exotic zip bars.
So yeah, let's just go, let's go around the table. Katrina, Katrina Davis joining us at Katrina Savad
on Instagram, am I correct?
Yeah.
Across all platforms, I assume?
Yup, all the same.
It's just Davis backwards.
Yeah.
Trickster, God damn it.
What, where can you point the people?
What's going on?
Um, I have a Father's Day show coming up at Union Hall.
If you live in New York, it's gonna be, um, like comedy and illustrations.
You can come with your dad.
You can come if you hate your dad.
You can come, like, if you're trying to forgive your dad.
It's like all different kinds of,
because it's kind of about like
me being just like who used to be my least favorite parent and then us kind of becoming
low-key best friends because we've been the same person the whole time. So yeah, I'm really excited
to do it. And that's like, and then I'll be in Colorado and in Boulder also, at the end of June. Yeah.
Is your dad's name Spoon?
No.
Why did I think that?
Because...
Spoon?
Because there's a viral clip where he...
I used to carry around a spoon when I was little.
And he used to yell about it because he did not like it
because it was very weird.
And he used to just say, I'm did not like it because it was very weird.
And he used to just say,
I'm gonna have my child carrying around no spoon.
And his friend calls me spoonie
because I used to carry around a spoon.
And then the clip is just everyone calling me autistic underneath.
It's pretty cool.
That's the only reason you probably saw it.
Internet's fun.
Internet's a good time.
A bunch of those fathers that you're trying to... It's a weird anecdote that I brought that was incorrect.
I was like, oh yeah, Katrina's dad, Spoon.
No, I'm Spoonie.
That's very funny.
I mean, I knew a dude named Spoon and he was sketchy,
so it's all right.
No, I don't think they just hand that name out.
No, you've never heard it.
Yeah, I don't think I would know my dad as well as I do
if he was Spoonie.
No, I don't think that.
Spoonie didn't stick around.
I would have heard tell that he was at one point named Spoonie
as I try to imagine his face in my head.
Yeah.
Right, right.
Spoon is a name people say and then
take a drag of their cigarette.
Yeah.
Spoon?
You Spoonie's kid? I don't want. Spoon? You Spoonie's kid?
I don't want anyone to know I'm Spoonie's kid
because they're looking for money and I don't have it.
Yes.
Spoon came through here once.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Spoonie is a rolling stone for sure.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just getting cigarettes and you just got a note,
like, Spoon couldn't make it.
I'm picking him up for him.
Hey, if he stuck around, they would have called him Fork.
Let's go.
Yeah, go check that out. Union Hall.
How is Union Hall? Man, that place is dope, right?
It's awesome. It's just like a nice little basement.
And they have like people upstairs playing bocce ball.
Is that the fan game?
People get intense.
I had a little phase.
It's a good game.
Yeah?
Yeah, it's a good game.
It's fun, I mean it's, you know.
Bat and horseshoes are two of my favorite outside games.
They're fairly even.
You can like, you can be all right at horseshoes or bocce
without having played a ton of horseshoes and bocce.
Okay.
Yeah, I've never played.
You get ocky, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I mean, Sean, you're pretty athletic.
I think you downplay it,
but I think you're probably better than me.
You're pretty athletic.
Well, David, thank you so much.
That was a nice, I don't even know what to say.
I'm shook, I appreciate it.
You want me to go back?
Fuck you.
Set a tone, dude. Speaking of fuck you, also joining us, Adam, Kate, go back? Fuck you. Ha ha ha ha. Set a tone, dude.
Speaking of fuck you, also joining us, Adam Cain Holland.
Fuck you.
What is it on Instagram, dude?
Adam fucking you, Holland, no.
Cain Holland on Instagram, right?
Yeah, Cain Holland, no hyphen.
C-A-Y-T-O-N-H-O-L-L-A-N.
Can I ask, was that a you-hall joke?
I don't know what it was, man.
I tried being aggressive for a minute, didn't take. I'm a soft-boiler. I didn't even hear it. I was focusing on the spellingHaul joke? I don't know what it was, man. I tried being aggressive for a minute.
Didn't take, I'm a sophomore.
I didn't even hear it.
I was focusing on the spelling of my name.
I didn't even listen.
I couldn't, I tuned it out.
You know, our daughter is,
she's starting to learn words
and not quite how to spell, but kinda how to spell.
And I realized I couldn't spell my middle name
until I was like nine.
It's Patrick.
Is that late?
Yes. Yes. Not early. For your old name, I think it's Patrick. Is that late? Yes.
Not early.
For your old name, I think it's a little...
Cause I think you heard your old name
before you actually could spell.
My four year old can spell his middle name.
Yeah, but his middle name is C.
Yeah, but his middle name is an X.
We just had to make his mark.
Are all those documents he has to sign?
Oh, dog, I'm taking out loans on number two.
That's smart. That's smart.
Well, homie is in debt.
But he's got four LLCs.
You like this car? It's yours. Get in the back.
Happy 18th birthday, homie.
You're gonna find out a lot of secrets.
I got you a flat tummy tea company.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go have lunch with Spoon
while you read this document.
You let me know what you think.
If you're feeling froggy, let me know.
Anyway, ACH, where can the people find you?
What do you got?
Point him towards some stuff.
Guys, I got a new spesh.
It's on my YouTube.
It's called 20 Years in Comedy
and all I got was this lousy special.
And I filmed it at the dive bar called the Lion's lair where I started and so it was very fun.
It's a cool, interesting looking special.
I love it.
It's up on YouTube right now so check it out.
And then I also wanted to plug.
Listen, AFV's got clout everywhere, but I know you got heavy Portland, Oregon clout.
So I'd like to start sounding the fucking drum for May 22nd.
I'm headlining Helium. I want Portland out there.
I got Derek Sheen opening for me.
Adam Hosse's on the show. Maybe Sean Jordan drops in, does his head.
Who knows? Portland 522 Helium.
Love to see you there. Let's do it.
Nice. Also, I was there.
Not a lousy special. I saw it. And I do it. Nice. Let's get it. Also I was there, not a lousy special. I saw it.
And I watched it.
Can Concur also not lousy at all.
I very much enjoyed it.
Yeah, Bori opened for me
and gave me the sweetest intro ever
and made me all in my feels
right before I had to get on stage and tape.
It was so nice though.
And we have that clipped up
and I'm gonna release it someday
to destroy you on the internet.
That's okay.
I meant it, man.
That was a big deal for me.
Anyways.
It was really sweet, it gave me
a lovely heartfelt introduction and it was a nice moment.
So yeah, the special's on YouTube now, check it out y'all.
That's rad, isn't that rad when you get like a legit,
no shade on like your run of the mill intro,
but like when somebody really, when it's from the heart,
it makes you feel so good right before you go up
and it kind of, for me anyways,
makes me realize that this is all fun.
This is supposed to be fun why we do this
and we shouldn't get like terrified or like super consumed
with you know what I mean, like how many people see it.
It's the fact that we get to do it is so dope.
And so that, I don't know, sorry for getting all emotional.
I kind of feel awesome.
You're right, you forget about like what it all means.
And this was like a nostalgia special,
20 years in comedy, blah, blah, blah. But in your head, you're just like, whatever, Bori's funny, I'd love. You're right. You forget about like what it all means and this was like a nostalgia special 20 years and comedy
Blah blah blah, but in your head you're just like whatever Borey's funny. I'd love to have him open
He'll rip it open. It'd be great. And then he like hits you with like, oh wait
Here's what my relationship to you means and I was like goddamn and it was it was a lovely sweet moment
It was a great night. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah, it's fun. I like a bad intro. Yeah
What they like when they fuck it up? They're like, this guy, I think he was on Last Comic Standing, David
Gourby.
Ha!
David Gourby!
We were joking about that before you got on, dude.
People say I'm on Netflix all the time.
Never even sniffed it.
They're like, but this guy's from Netflix.
And I'm like, if you want to advertise that, that's your ass.
Like I don't know what you're talking about.
Sometimes they do know they're lying
and they just don't care.
Cause I've been like, I'm not on,
and they're like, I don't give a shit.
I'm like, oh, okay.
They're like, they're doing you a favor?
Yes, absolutely.
This guy was at the White House Correspondence Dinner
and you're like, bro.
From Kenan and Kel, Adam Caton-Collins.
Yeah.
Like what?
I had a guy say the wrong name after my set the other night,
but I know which Black woman he thought I was.
Oh, no.
So, like, he said the right name going up,
but then afterwards he was like,
give it up for not me, everybody.
And so I told that girl, I messaged her,
I was like, yo, you had a good set last night,
just so you know, like, a guy and she went,
oh, my gosh, I've gotten drinks because they think
that I'm another black female comic in New York.
And so now I just want one of them to be called Katrina.
That's my goal now.
Shout out to your black alt-comedy doppelganger.
Yes!
We all got him.
Yup.
Yeah.
I don't have that problem.
Yeah, Sean. There's only one of me.
When Sean does black rooms, they think he's Gary Owens.
So that happens to him.
Yeah, just the other day they were like,
give it up for Janelle Monae.
And I was like, I don't even think she's gonna stand up.
Not again.
So like someone asked for her credit
and then you give them one and then they'll forget it.
And then they'll kind of get mad at you
because they forgot.
I'll be like,
I don't know, you've seen him, I don't know,
who gives a shit?
You had like one of those and you're like,
what are you doing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's like,
this misses you.
I would say whatever you want, man.
What do you want for an intro?
Me too.
I go, whatever you want, whatever you want.
Just show them what David said.
Just say he's a funny guy, man.
Yeah, exactly.
The guy, the people,
cause now it's like, the people who came for me
know who it is and the people who don't are gonna figure it out.
I don't... That credit thing, I don't think it...
I've never seen audience be like,
-"Ooh, Netflix!" -"Ooh, Netflix!"
I've never seen two girls both on their phones
in the front row be like,
-"Oh, wait, Comedy Central, shut up." -"Yeah."
Like, they're still gonna talk through
the first five minutes of my set.
You don't need to leave him anymore. Or whatever they're talking about, I don't know. Shut up. They're still gonna talk through the first five minutes of my say.
You don't need to leave him anymore.
Or whatever they're talking about, I don't know.
Now that man that wants to be called a funny guy,
David Borey, cool guy jokes, 87 on Instagram.
What's happening, Playboy?
You were just in LA, how'd it go?
It was fun, I saw some friends.
Got up at the store I saw.
Got up at the store in tribute to dark Sean I went
So Alec Flynn saw some people had a good time. Oh Alec, huh? Had a little dick. I said cut this out
You can find me at kuga patreon.com backslash David Bori purchase my special
April 25th and 26. I am going to be in Dallas at the Dallas Comedy Club.
Come to that June 15th,
I'm going to be at Littlefield in Brooklyn, New York.
It would be fun if you came to that.
And then, you know, just...
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yay, Littlefield.
I can see you.
It's gonna be fun.
Yeah, dude, how long are you gonna be in New York?
Just like a day or two, I think.
I don't know.
More than two, three days, it really, that place stresses me out.
The rhythm of the city.
I need you to like move through with me. It just stresses me out. The rhythm of the city.
I need you to move through with me. It's too much for me just to have any time in that city.
I just wanna do it all.
So it's like you're there for two, three days
and you don't think about distances
because you live in Colorado.
So you're like, yeah, I can go to Brooklyn at two,
Manhattan at three, and be back in Brooklyn at five.
Take a little nap, Brooklyn.
Yeah, I can do that.
I can see everyone that I love in this giant city.
Then you try to make it work with a lift
and you're like, $400 to cross the bridge?
Absolutely.
Dog, dog, so I guess I just didn't make any money this trip.
Okay, that's cool, that's cool, that's cool.
No, no, no, let's go to a diner.
Going across Manhattan, I would see people,
every light, every single light,
I'd see the same people walking
that we just went past and I'm sitting in it
just watching it tick up and you're like,
I could just get out and walk fast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Don't, man.
Also, I'm Sean Jordan,
Sean Krugmell and Jordan on Instagram,
and come see us in New Orleans.
So an announcement, the New Orleans,
you have to get a full weekend pass
to get into the AFEs in New Orleans.
The day passes don't get you in to the AFEs,
and I think they fixed the verbiage on the website,
which I assume anyone who's coming in from out of town
is buying a weekend pass anyways.
So just just be clear on what you're buying. If you have any questions, absolutely feel free to
DM me. I'll answer every single one of them. I promise. So yeah, come see us in New Orleans.
We got the merch kick in. It's going to be dope. There's talks of like a band. I mean, come on.
I don't I don't even I don't even want to get a bucket hats. We do got bucket hats. Spoon.
Spoon Davis is dropping in.
Yeah, Spoon's driving up from Jacksonville.
Spoon will be skimming off the top of those bucket hats.
Please be sure, if he tells you 25, they are 20,
do not listen to him.
Yeah, do not buy merch directly from Spoon,
just like every other live show.
He rolls up in one of our bucket hats,
say Sean, here's that blunt you wanted.
He just says, the merch t-shirts.
Just the wings, you know what to do.
I heard you got a plant.
The t-shirts say AFD.
Spoon, this has got one sleeve, motherfucker.
One sleeve.
Spoon!
Spoon when you get hot!
Oh, man.
Yeah, I think, I started doing this show called It's Nice to Be Nice. If you want to listen to more stuff from me, it's on Patreon.
It's free.
It's just a podcast I've been doing with my buds about nice things that have happened
to them.
There's a lot of negative stuff and this is just a nice one.
David was on it with our friend Helen.
That'll be coming out in a couple of weeks.
So if you want to go on Patreon, it's free to subscribe to.
Otherwise you can get them on wherever,
anywhere the podcasts are.
But keep listening to this.
I'm just saying, if you want some positivity,
that's what I've figured out that I'm good at.
So I started talking to people about it.
And other than that, I think buy Ian's book,
watch his special, Comfort Beyond God's Foresight,
get it up to 100,000 views.
If it's not yet, get it up there.
And yeah, that's the shit.
You guys ready to get into it?
You ready to draft magazines?
Let's play the game.
This is why I woke up today.
Wait a minute.
That'd get family.
You just say that to your kids.
They know, they know.
I got them out the door, I got them to school.
There was love, but that was not the focus of today.
Oh, that's right, kids are at school.
That feeling of getting, so Max ain't in school yet,
but she's at, well, she's in preschool and daycare,
but that feeling of getting her secure in the area,
where you're like, all right, the gate's locked,
she's in there.
I'm out for a few hours.
It's a freedom that I never knew existed before kids.
I never, because you just kind of have it,
you know, most of the time you just have that loose adult
freedom unless you're at work or something.
And when you get that kid, well, you get them locked away.
I gotta tell you one quick thing, cause it's insane.
My youngest and the oldest, they go to the same school.
Oldest is in kindergarten, he's the top of the school.
That's as far as it goes.
No problem, off to class.
Youngest still has some trepidation at the gate.
A lot of kids do whatever.
It's hard to get him there.
It's never a guarantee.
So all the kids get dropped off at the gate.
He has imposed his will to the point
that I now have to take him into the playground
to the top of a little hill that they play on
and walk him to the top of the hill
where he gives me a hug goodbye
and then he will say farewell without any fight.
All the other kids wait at the gate
and he's like, go to the fucking top of the hill
where everyone can see me.
We hug it out and then I'll say goodbye to you.
Yeah, but then you walk away and he turns around
and he goes, can you dig it?
And you're just talking to the whole playground.
He's flexing hard on dad and the school and everything.
That's what I was gonna say.
He makes you Pride Rock every day.
It's unreal. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
And I just shrug at the principal
and she's like, do your fucking thing.
Everybody else is at the gate.
I was like, ah, hurry up.
I hold him up.
You lift him up, spin him around.
Behold the love of my father.
He's just like bragging.
That's a good way to start your day though.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was.
It's a pretty good idea.
That's not what I do to Maxine.
I push her out, the switcher's in my hand, almost lit.
I'm just fucking.
Yeah.
Behold my seed.
There's probably a little piss in his undies right now.
It's all good.
It'll dry by the time he gets in there.
Alright, magazines, what do I do now?
I forget.
Do we take a break or do we do rock, paper, scissors?
Rock, paper, scissors.
Alright, so determine the order of the draft.
The order of the draft, rather, will be determined
by a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors
played between the three of you.
All ready? Yes. We're gonna go on shoot. You ready? Rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you. You all ready?
We're gonna go on shoot, you ready?
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh no way!
Three, oh, let's go again.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
Oh no way!
This is gonna happen on tour.
This is gonna happen on tour every week.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
Katrina wins the natural victory. The. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Katrina got it.
Katrina wins the natural victory.
The paper slicing, or the scissors slicing
both pieces of paper.
Now Katrina, it is incumbent upon you
to determine the order of the draft.
Before you do that, I will remind you,
I'm doin' all right.
It is a serpentine draft.
And what is that?
It is like the motion of the tide,
day in and day out on this lovely planet of ours.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Hey, I thought when I was like, man,
it took me a while to think of this one, but thank you.
Now, with that being said, if you-
From the day we arrive on this planet.
Have you seen Mufasa?
They try to do it again.
They try to do-
I saw Mufasa, and I thought it was a moo-messah.
It was. Ooh. Meow.
Yeah.
I've only seen the most ridiculous part
over and over again, and I don't know
if I could take it seriously because of that.
It's tough.
The, like, brother part, when he's like,
don't talk about my brother.
Like, that's all that plays in my head.
And I'm like, I don't think I could
take this version seriously
I'm try I try not to be a disney childhood snob
But I do feel like the songs were better in ours. They were
They were they're classics in ours
The only the only recent one that has classics correct me if i'm out of line here is moana
What and then they dropped the ball with moana too to they said we don't need Lin-Manuel and he's like you don't fucking need me and
Everyone hates Moana. That's all they needed. Yeah, that shit was a bummer
The second one. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough because the first one was crazy
The music is that song since the Lion King, right? They made the rock good on the first rivals
It rivals the bodyguard soundtrack. Yeah, I'm like it for what?
crazy to
I'm talking the tracks for any reason
Walk up to a stranger like tell what do you think? I think the bodyguard Moana haven't come
Better soundtrack Moana or the bodyguard?
They're like eyes go crossed.
They can't even, why would you do this to me?
I mean, the bodyguard is the best soundtrack ever,
but Moana is real close.
Anyway, basically what it means,
if you pick fourth in the first round,
you pick first in the second round.
Now with that in mind, Katrina, what will the order,
oh, I gotta take notes.
What will the order of today's draft be?
I think, can I go first?
Yeah, yeah. I think I'm gonna go first.
Go first.
And then David and then Adam.
Okay. Okay.
And then Sean Hot Corner.
Hot Corner.
Before we do get into it,
Katrina, are you wearing that Seinfeld anime shirt?
I am.
It was marketed to me on Instagram as well.
Okay.
Nice to see you in a while.
I say no to 99% of what they shoved down my throat
on that website, but this shirt got me
and it's a pretty solid print, so I regret nothing.
They get me every now and again,
probably like once a month they get me.
I got a Doc Holiday shirt.
Doc Holiday shirt the other day, I was like, yep.
It's, you know, there's a reason they're targeted.
I don't care if I don't like them, I skip through them.
I really don't care.
Shop now, don't mind if I do.
Don't mind if I do.
There's one right now that keeps coming at me,
it's Millhouse, but it's like Bauhaus, like Millhouse.
And I'm like, I really, I almost want to click on it
every time, but that's like, I know every dude
that looks like me is gonna have it, and I can't do it.
But Milhouse doesn't get a lot of play, graphic T-wise.
Like, I want more.
It's a killer show.
Or just physically.
Yeah, true.
Yeah, I don't think he was lighting any blunts,
if you know what I mean.
He was holding Bart's blunt outside the tent,
waiting for the right moment.
Definitely.
Milhouse meets a girl at the library,
comes home and Bart's like,
well Mel House, why don't you wait outside,
I'm gonna handle it.
Anyway, with that- Whoa, that was a crazy-
Help me achieve this sexual dream I've always had.
Sean watched that happen.
Yeah, that was so specific.
It happened to me a couple times.
Yeah, that happened to me a couple times.
Yo, okay, I'm sorry buddy.
I was that kid when I was younger.
I was the one that like didn't, yeah.
I love this insane frame of reference we've gotten to.
Hey dog, you don't wanna be the millhouse
holding Bart's blunt while he's fucking in the tent.
Don't be that millhouse.
Yeah, everybody.
What the fuck are you talking about?
What kind of dorky Joe Rogan podcast is this?
Don't be soppy in the Millhouse, dude.
I'm like, wait, what?
I don't know what this means.
Bart's an alpha.
(*laughing*)
Glasses lower your testosterone, dude.
Everybody knows that.
I've heard that, I've heard that.
All right, with that being said,
the order settled, Katrina,
you will be going first in the magazine's draft
before we get to that first pick.
A short break.
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Everything already in progress.
Spark that blunt, Katrina, what do you got?
What's that first thing?
What's that first magazine?
You gotta figure out what that means to you.
I don't know, every time we do one,
every time we record an episode, I'm like,
what, therapy, therapy?
Or you're like, you'll give me a look sometime.
Every time we record an episode,
you feel that way?
Sometime, I mean, there's just a lot of stuff.
Maybe you should listen to that voice, Sean.
Yeah, I think it's a good...
A lot of stuff knocking around in there.
It's worth it.
I don't got time.
I'm trying to pick, I have been very strategic about this list.
I'll explain myself more later.
Ah!
Okay, for number one, I'm gonna go with Zoo Books.
Ooh!
Yeah.
Because... Strong! I loved zoo books when I was little.
I loved anything to do with animals and facts.
And one time I was at the beach with this lady
that used to watch me.
Shout out Miss Debra. I love her so much.
And her daughter was like messing with this thing
on the beach and she thought it was a balloon. And I was was like messing with this thing on the beach
and she thought it was a balloon. And I was like, don't touch it.
It's a man o' war. And no one knew what I was talking about
because I was like, nine. Like, I shouldn't have known.
And she didn't... You know when an adult, like, doesn't fully believe you,
but is like, does what you say just in case?
Like, I could tell that she was like, you're talking nonsense, but she also told her
to stop playing with it.
And then the next day, I brought in my zoo book
and it was like, Portuguese Manowar.
And it's this like giant, like jellyfish basically,
but the balloon on the top looks like the sail
that they used to use on like Portuguese warships.
And I was, I've always been very proud
of my animal knowledge,
saving that little girl at least some kind of gnarly sting.
But yeah, I freaking loved Zubooks, man.
The commercial was sick.
Dude, I think that I thought Manowar was banned
until just now.
What?
I don't know what Manowar is.
It probably is a band too, I bet.
It is, it is.
They're in an old skate video, but is it man,
is it one word?
Portugal the man.
A war.
I'm talking about a band called,
there's a band called Man of War, I'm pretty sure.
Oh, okay, okay, that I did not know.
I don't know what a man o' war, I don't know what it is.
What is it?
It's a jellyfish?
It's a type of jellyfish,
but their venom is like way more intense.
And they have the, they like float through the current
with the balloon on top and their tentacles are extra long.
So they just catch stuff and then like bring it back up
to the balloon and eat it.
I'm glad I don't know what that is.
It is a band, holy cow, it's a band for sure.
But, uh, those things are gnarly.
Are they around?
Yeah.
I was watching that one.
That's the only one I ever saw in Florida. And I have? Yeah. I was watching. She found one.
That's the only one I ever saw in Florida and I have no idea how far that thing must
have floated.
But I don't know where they like their natural habitat is.
They are so scary looking.
Zoo books win for you that you just fucking fled.
That's like an ad for zoo books.
You saved the girls life.
I had zoo books.
I had like straight up index cards.
I had like multiple different things that just like,
had just animals and facts.
And I would just like fan through everything.
That's what was, that was like currency when you were a kid though.
I love that shit.
Just like, and didn't they have like the rainbow title on zoo books too?
I was gonna say it was so vibrant.
Like they were all like different rainbow colors.
And I think they all focused on one specific animal
and there was like 12 of them or something.
They were sick though.
Yeah, they're still around.
My kids got them. Really?
Yeah, they're around. Really?
There's tons of them.
Yeah, every animal's got a zoo book.
So you can be like- Oh my gosh, that makes me so happy.
Here's the thing, I listened to podcasts
about animals that are technically made for children.
I might re-up on zoo books.
Oh man, I just Googled it.
That orangutans app was a classic.
Yeah, dude.
Zoo Book orangutans, that brought back a lot of memories.
I was getting a little upset the other day
that it's not orangutan. Oh, I did.
You're right, that is a very memorable photo.
Yeah.
Heck yeah.
So yeah, that's my first pick.
Lovely.
Hell yeah, Zubox off the board and I have the notes.
Trust me, I know who's next, but I don't need to look at them.
I'm going to.
David, David, what's your first pick for the magazine draft?
I got to take a magazine that's been through with me throughout my life.
Only magazine I actually have right now in print.
I still order it to my house directly.
I read facts from it at night
while my girlfriend is falling asleep.
Oh, did you know, hey, I can't show it's work.
I'm taking National Geographic, man.
I knew that was gonna go early.
I wrote it down before you said it.
It's like, you know what?
I feel like it's one of those ones that you don't have to read.
Like the reading only enhances it, right?
So as a kid, I would really just look at all the pictures.
And I was a man.
I look at all the pictures and read some of the articles.
And it's just as entertaining.
It's always great.
It's just so good. The's always great. It's it's just it's it's so good. The pictures are beautiful
Yeah, they have interesting time. It's just it's an awesome fucking there's no beat in the pictures
I am genuinely curious boy because I haven't read one ever
Probably is the writing good like the writings as good as photography. Yeah. Yeah, because I mean they have a National Geographic Society
It's like it's very in depth.
And then, you know, every episode like this one,
I wrote a joke about a I because of this.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
It's it's yeah, it's real.
It's like the writing is better, I think, than you ever thought,
because the pictures are so good.
But I mean, come on, look at it.
Yeah, it's unreal. Yeah.
Oh, my gosh. That's awesome.
It is. And you don't feel like a if like a loser, if you crack that somewhere, you know, and it's unreal. Yeah, dude. Oh my gosh. That's awesome. It is, and you don't feel like a loser
if you crack that somewhere, you know?
And it's like, it's iconic, that yellow cover.
You know it from across the room.
It's a more, well, I know it's more than just animals,
but it's like adult zoo books.
Like I was thinking of zoo books,
but I should probably just get on National Geographic.
It's like, it's also can have you can have two magazines
There's no through line everybody's cracked in that geo
You're saying everybody can get these hands in that geo every single person
Everybody's gotten into one and I love that like magazines so often are like selling like a culture or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that feels like you just want to see some mountains and
then a weird big. Yeah, we got you. I love it. I love it so much. And then like a woman
on an island living a life you could only dream of. Yeah, that was that was for the
tweens. Here Peruvian people painted blue. They've never seen a fucking cell phone. Yeah,
they thought my camera flash was the fucking cell phone. Yeah. Exactly.
They thought my camera flash was the devil for weeks.
Right, right.
Two guys died.
Two guys died for this photo.
Some kind of ancient Oaxacan street festival, we got it all.
We got it.
It's so fun.
I love that too.
We had those in our like extended studies class where they like let the smart kids go
to a different science and it felt very mature because they let us see titties.
It was like, you're allowed to look at the National Geographic, don't get weird.
You guys can handle this.
You guys can handle this.
Exactly.
You had to prove that you were mature enough to handle the reading corner with the National
Geographic in there.
Yep.
I couldn't handle it.
Let's do a little Mark Perfster.
When do you think the first episode or first issue?
That was my good kid in that city.
What?
When do you think the first issue was released?
Let's do a little with 18.
1895.
I mean, I'm going to trust Bori on that one.
But I was going to say you said that so definitively.
I was going to say like 1902 or something.
When I go, I'll go one dollar.
I'll go one dollar.
I bro, I would have said I would have said deep in the 1900s.
It was September 22nd, 1888.
Whoa!
That makes sense.
I didn't know we even had,
I don't know, people could read in 1888.
Lewis and Clark are on the cover of the first one.
That's so old.
A lot couldn't, a lot of people couldn't read in 1888.
That's crazy.
Yeah, it's a society.
Like I think it was started to like preserve,
I don't know, nature, wildlife.
I just have no frame of what's going on.
I had no frame of time, I guess, but yeah, anyway.
Yeah, Nat Geo, man.
Fun fact that doesn't have anything to do with anything.
The current editor, his name is Nathan Lund.
Oh.
So that's fun.
Man, what if they just let Nathan Lund
have a year at the helm of Nat Geo?
Brother, I would be all ears.
People don't know it yet, but they will.
Lot of features on wrestling.
Yeah, people don't know they need that, but they do.
Chevelle on the cover, that'd be great.
Just a double spread on Luchadores.
It's like, okay, I guess.
This is okay.
January's wrestlers again.
They're going back.
They're going back.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, Nat Geo, fantastic.
Hey, ACH, what do you got?
First pick.
Look, I get everybody's gonna say I'm pretentious.
People are gonna say, duh, this is the cliche pick.
But I gotta go with the magazine.
I still get the New Yorker.
I have the physical New Yorker in my house.
And it's also been with me my whole life.
I remember my parents getting it.
I remember opening it up, reading the cartoons,
going through and reading the cartoons
and being like, these are funny
or that's too sophisticated, I don't understand.
But like now I fucking, I devour that magazine.
Every week I rip from start to finish.
I've been rejected by that magazine a faker's dozen times.
And I'm still going for it. I'm gonna crack it someday.
Yeah, you got to.
Yeah, man. I am religious with that magazine.
I love it.
No, it's a classy magazine. I like the...
Do people not like the...
Well, it's not...
You'd have to be wild to be like, nah, I'm not a New Yorker guy.
I remember a Simpsons gag, it's just perfect though.
It's like Homer opening up the mail and he's like,
oh, another rejection letter from the New Yorker subscription department.
Like, they're not good enough to get it.
That's pretty funny, man.
It is a sophisticated...
That's what I was gonna say. I feel like people only try to talk shit
about the New Yorker in a way that they're trying to show that they're elevated.
That they're like, they're so good that I can tell the nuance that the New Yorker is
not that cool.
Right, right, right, right.
I also like, I think every kid who doesn't live in New York, I'm watching it with my
boys.
They're like, New York, New York City.
That's just like a place that it looms large in your imagination.
And so this magazine for me has always been like,
well, what's going on in New York?
Even now, when I go to New York a fair amount,
I like to read like, what's going on in town?
I like to see events and shit going on around New York.
It's just, it's a real window into that as well.
So I dig it.
No, that's an awesome pic.
That's a great pic.
I don't even think we had a copy of that
in South Dakota when I was a kid.
Oh, it's banned. I mean, yeah, I don't, think we had a copy of that in South Dakota when I was a kid. Oh, it's banned.
It's banned.
I mean, yeah, I don't, I, it was.
They cut that out real quick.
Maybe if they accidentally put a gun on the cover,
one would have snuck into a Barnes and Noble or something.
But I don't ever remember seeing it when I was a kid.
It's so interesting to think about.
Like never, ever, ever did I see that.
Can I be a snob?
There's a section called shouts and murmurs.
That's their humor section,
and I've been rejected from it many, many times.
I heard a baker's dozen.
It is dog shit.
There's Shouts and Murmurs.
Their one humor page is so not fucking funny.
It's maybe every once in a while,
every 10th one will be funny,
but every week they put one out and it's like awful.
McSweeney's is funnier. More like Sighs and Snickers.
Yeah, it's bad.
Shouts and murmurs sucks.
Everything else is fucking great.
Are they jokes?
We gotta get you in there.
We gotta get you in there.
It's just like dumb ass humor writing.
It's like, okay, it's like whatever's going on that week,
you know, like here are the stocks that I sold
before Trump tanked the stock market. And it you know, like here are the stocks that I sold before Trump
tanked the stock market.
And it'll just be like funny fake stocks.
It just sucks.
It's not, it's bad.
It's always bad.
They're all fake stocks to me.
I don't know.
Well, if anybody's listening,
we got a guy who can overhaul it.
Yeah.
ACH, I think you could do it.
He could overhaul it.
I'm published in McSweeney's.
That's a funnier humor outlet.
Let me add that, let me add that to Shouts and Murmurs.
I got a book.
Yeah, you can't be the only New Yorker reader
that wants more from Shouts and Murmurs.
And I'm telling you, every 10th one,
you're like, there you go,
Simon Rich, your fucking Megan Anne Ram
or something like that.
Yeah, these are funny.
But like-
You should start a grassroots campaign.
Sam T would agree with me.
We've talked about this.
Shelf-Semermers fucking sucks.
Hey, Sam wants to light the world on fire.
You should start a grassroots campaign.
This is your Donald for Spider-Man.
Yes, all right.
Yeah, any New Yorker listeners out there, hit them up.
Get me in that shit.
All right. Did I write that down? I should.
All right. So here I am with Hot Corner.
My first pick.
I'm going to take it back to when I was a child as well.
This was first magazine I remember ever getting.
I'm going to go with Highlights magazine.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Big highlight.
That's up there with Zubox, I feel like for iconic.
It was. And they still. Yeah, big highlights. That's up there with Zoo Books, I feel like, for iconic covers.
And they still, I should have looked it up,
but I'm pretty sure they're still around.
I just remember, yeah, I want to get them for our daughter.
I should look into that, but they were just so fun.
Like just the first thing, I would just go to the
like find the hidden whatever page.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.
The find the hidden.
Got me through all the early dentist office visits.
Bro, I've been rejected from highlights of Baker's Dumbest.
Don't get me started on their shits.
Don't get me started on their dumb shit.
Oh, speaking of highlights and their humor, I love highlights as an adult,
because if you ever go to the doctor's office with my mom and read those jokes out loud,
she will still ball laughing.
Like, highlights crushes with her for some reason,
and she also doesn't know why.
Like, she, like, you'll be like,
uh, what's a balloon's least favorite kind of music?
Pop! And she has to leave the...
Like, she will, like, be so so overwhelmed she can barely catch her breath.
And I'm like, why do you think this is so funny?
She's like, I don't know, like I know it's stupid.
But like, highlights fucks my mom up.
I love that.
If you go to the doctors with my mom,
she'll take that magazine home.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you remember taking pages out of phone books?
Did you ever do that at a phone booth where you're like, I'm just going to take this page.
You never did that.
That's a total movie.
That's a total movie move.
They're like, all right, grab this out of the phone book and tuck it in.
Were you a hit man in the 80s, Sean?
You never were a hit man.
You are until you're not.
There you go.
Okay.
I, uh, the reason those jokes hit so hard, they, that's fine. They hit at the doctor's office.
Cause the older I get, the more tension I have when I go there.
Like if they're going to give me a prostate exam of a little bad joke,
it's a gallon and you take the edge off funny when you're all nervous.
It's funniest thing I've ever heard. Uh, yeah. Highlights, man. Just so,
just cause I looked it up first, uh, first issue printedlights, man, just so, just because I looked it up. First issue printed June 1946.
So right after WWT, the big one, we decided to get into Highlights magazine.
Highlights and Zubooks are both great because they capture that like school book sale energy,
which is kind of like classes out.
You're the first time, maybe you got a little bit of money your parents gave you
and they're like, it's all educational. Go buy shit young man. Here's your first
opportunity. And then there's like a freedom to that. That's
very exciting.
Man, I
wasted on a bunch of erasers.
Yeah, totally.
Once I get I'm gonna get one pen for my dad, and a pad for my
mom. And after that, I'm ripping this shit up.
Like, yeah,
sideways stories from Wayside School, here I come.
There you go.
I was bought a Garfield, those Garfield books,
the like horizontal ones.
Oh, I remember the like long lengthy ones.
Oh, those were good.
You know what I liked when I was a kid
was those Calvin and Hobbes books,
which now you're like, those are good.
Calvin and Hobbes at the book fair though
was always too rich for my blood
because they had those big, thick, sexy ones
that were like $20.
I was like, okay, what are we doing here?
I don't know.
It's a proper tome.
I'm gonna buy all those now.
I'm glad we did this.
Yeah, you can.
I'm gonna buy.
They still do the book fair, which yeah.
Good.
All right, for my second pick, I'm gonna go,
ah, gosh, I'm gonna go...
Gosh, I don't wanna sound like a loser here. I'll go Rolling Stone.
Oh, that's a cool one.
That's a good one.
You still got it.
They still got it, casual.
It always, I mean, the covers, I'm not splitting the item,
but like the covers jump out all the time.
I may or may not be thinking of a very specific one.
Jessica Alba.
Which one?
Janet Jackson.
Oh yeah.
Oh okay, I was gonna say, there's a lot of hot lady ones.
Jessica Alba, is that what she said David?
Yeah, but the Janet Jackson one is seminal.
It was crazy.
That was huge.
That was huge.
Is the Janet Jackson one with all the hands,
everyone else's hands?
100%.
It's two guys. No, it's two, it's two hands.
Oh, it's just one.
It's one man, it's one man, it's the photographer.
It was crazy to be like, no, they can't do that.
That's happening, they're showing it, that's happening?
Anyway, yeah, just Saturday, just like it jumps out,
you know, when like you're little,
like thumbing through magazines,
it made me feel cool for the first time,
it was just one of those.
And people fairly candid in the interviews because it's Rolling Stone.
I like that.
You know what's funny about Rolling Stone?
One of the few magazines that I will still buy for a plane trip.
Like if I'm in the airport and somebody's on the cover,
I'll be like, fuck it, I'll buy a rolling stone because now it's like on an airplane.
It's like you're done by the time you land.
But I'm like, yeah, I'll still I'll still buy it every now and again.
Mm hmm. OK. Come out knowing everything about Billy Eilish.
Bored gets off the plane.
It's like, let's I want to talk about Billy Eilish.
Yeah. So nobody cares.
Just sitting at the bar.
You guys talking about Billy Eilish, my chance.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's OK. Right, guys.
Right. When I was maybe 12, 13, 14 at the supermarket,
my mom would be shopping, and I would just post up
in the magazines and rip through a Rolling Stone,
just like read all that shit.
And it felt like access to cool culture.
It was where we're advancing into.
Because at that age, you're ripping to tell your friends
later, like you knew about it.
It's like pre-internet, too.
I'm downloading this stuff.
Yes, exactly. Oh, you knew about it. Yeah. It's like pre-internet too. Like, I'm downloading this stuff. Yes, exactly.
It, you know, as far as like not the
Jennifer Aniston from Friends, you
know, you're like, she says, fuck in
the interview. Holy cow.
That was a cover that I remember
getting as well, my man.
Jennifer Aniston is like a very
much a butt shot.
I remember going to like a 7-Eleven.
It was like the height of Friends.
And I was like, I'm getting I'm
getting this one. This one.
I'm purchasing this day of. I love that you all have a formative
Boner Rolling Stone cover.
I don't have one.
You gotta get one, Katrina.
Oh, you mean Nirvana didn't do it for you?
That's only one magazine that there's a formative,
but there's tons of formative Boner.
I think the list is about to crack open here.
Somebody's gonna bust this thing wide open. That's a great formative boner. I think the list is about to crack open here. Yeah, somebody's gonna bust this thing wide open.
That's a great point though, Sean.
A lot of the guys that I did like during that age
were in fact dirty and sad.
So it wouldn't have been quite as hot.
It was more like, oh, the guy from Silver Chair is sad.
I can fix him.
Hi.
You're gonna wait till fat February, wait till tomorrow.
I used to listen to that song so heavy before middle school.
Yes!
I love it.
It's still probably once a month creeps its way in.
Silver Chair, if you guys haven't messed with
Silver Chair in a minute, go listen to that song.
I'm gonna listen to Open Fire and get real sad after this.
I can't wait.
Hell yeah.
Happy Monday.
Alrighty.
Adam, Kate and Holland, fresh off the New Yorker pick.
You. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I took it.
I took it academic and now I'm ready to get down in the down in the dirt.
Not that much of dirt sports illustrated.
I'm surprised it's still out there. Oh, yeah.
Sports Illustrated is a real winner.
Required reading, required reading.
And it's kind of a you know, it shoots on two barrels.
There's like the great sports writing, there's everything you want to know about sports,
but then once a year there's the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition to horny young bucks pre-internet.
A real moment every year. A real moment that we all stopped and took stock of what was going on with our burgeoning manhood.
You know what was awesome about Sports Illustrated besides the bikinis as well?
Wasn't it like weekly?
It was weekly.
So it would be like, I remember during study hall in high school that you could get one, you could, you could always read a new Sports Illustrated if you went to
the library.
Yeah, it goes never old.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cause it was every week. They also fucked around, had Sports Illustrated if you went to the library. Yeah, like I was never old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it was every week.
They also fucked around and had Sports Illustrated for kids,
which I think was kind of the gateway drug.
You know, not as great a swimsuit issue,
but like I appreciated it.
I don't like it.
Ah!
No.
Listen, I was their age as well.
It's not creepy.
It's a lateral move. Oh.
Ah!
All right, Isaac, isolate this part
so we can frame Adam whenever we want to.
It's not fucking creepy, guys.
It's a lateral move.
Just yelling lateral move over and over again.
I'm not.
The pervert is the one who was the old guy.
But I was the same age.
It's just some other 13-year-old making it, too.
It's all. That's what I was going to say. That's the some other 13 year old making it to is all
The only thing that a kind of makes it okay, and I still feel like a creep even thinking about that
It's all the whole project is kids
union grips on the
Not about the swimsuit issue, but wasn't there didn't they have kids report stuff in that side for kids?
Yeah, yeah
That was so cool.
You were like, yeah.
Oh, because there's that great podcast about a guy whose dad would pretend that he was
an Si for Kids reporter to get him courtside in like, they're from New York, like MSG and
stuff like that.
Wow.
Yeah, it's really.
And then he grows up to find out his dad is a con man. That is actually like that. Yeah, it's really, and then he grows up to find out
his dad is a con man, but it's actually really interesting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My life is a lie, but those games were sick.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Sports Illustrated, dude, also it's like
if your team won the championship,
that like commemorative issue
that they would put out for every team,
it's like the one your dad's got on his shelf somewhere. Yeah, the Broncos one.
Yeah, it's just, it's iconic, iconic magazine.
Football phones, that whole run.
Where my dad, I think he had the football phone, right?
Was it the football phone?
Yeah, it was 100%.
I feel like that's where everyone
was ordering their fat heads originally.
Yeah.
Oh, brother.
My fucking dad's, okay, my dad had a roommate in Phoenix.
I mean, way, way beyond.
That's always a tough, tough, tough way to start a sentence.
Yes, already on board.
But a great way to start a book.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My dad had a roommate, his name was Spoon.
His roommate's name looked like it was
Spoon Sports Illustrated.
Like he was Sports Illustrated's son or son.
I mean, you walked in, there was a cutout of Kathy Ireland in the living room.
Like that where you're like, I didn't even know those made it out of bars.
And anyway, he had all the sports at like the football phone,
the basketball, like all everything in his house.
It was like if you were 13 and you're like,
what do I want my apartment to look like when I'm 40?
What's what am I shooting for?
And that's what it was.
My dad was lucky enough to live with him.
I think a lot of guys' energy
that now goes exclusively into bedding
used to go into Sports Illustrated.
Yes.
So that guy's a Draft Kings pro.
Yeah, no, he's a parlay man.
He's a parlay man.
Absolutely.
It's got a room that's dedicated to the beginnings,
where it's just Sports Illustrated. You walk in and it's like, just'm gonna go to the parliament. Absolutely, it's got a room that's dedicated to the beginnings, where it's just Sports Illustrated,
you walk in and it's like, just like somebody
on a loudspeaker giving you the history
of Sports Illustrated.
It's a tour.
They also had those weird video tapes.
You could get Sports Illustrated.
That wasn't Sports Illustrated.
No, they didn't.
No, I know what you mean.
My dad would make me watch this Larry Bird documentary.
Every time he got drunk, he'd make me watch it like I'd never seen it before. And dad would make me watch this Larry Bird documentary. Every time he got drunk, he'd make me watch it
like I'd never seen it before.
And it was a Sports Illustrated Larry Bird documentary.
Yeah, sounds right.
Yeah, is that what you're talking about?
Yeah, yeah, I was just gonna say
those are the formative sides of my coin,
New Yorker and Sports Illustrated.
That's what I'm bringing to the table, y'all.
Yeah, dude, well-rounded.
David, round two, what are we looking at?
Okay, this is a magazine I probably got from.
Probably 11 to 19, and it was a magazine I got because my mom had no idea what it was.
I'm taking the source magazine.
No, I used to it like it really held me down because I can. When I was younger and I first got it, I would get it to like show my friends and stuff like that.
But then when I got older, like, especially in high school, not a lot of my friends listen to the same kind of more obscure music that I listen to.
So it was just like my lifeline to hip hop, because I was not on the Internet for other reasons than, you know, the same ones we all were in 03.
But a lot of the source magazine, man, big time.
I really, I really, really was hoping it would make it back.
Mm-hmm.
Was your mom, like, just not gonna be down for you
putting all of that hip-hop knowledge in your head at that age?
No, she just didn't. I don't think she even don't think she even I was like that's his magazine. Yeah, she would just be like your magazine came
I don't think she even looked you know what I mean my mom didn't even know what she had no idea what it was
She I mean she saw that it wasn't a you know
Like a dirty magazine so she because I had a subscription to and I always read it in
Suspension like I suspended and I'd sit and read the source
and I'd like hold the cover at the teacher.
I mean that was-
Yeah, you want people to see it.
Uh huh.
And I found out about Carl Canai.
Like that, that, like everything I thought was like dope,
I found from the source and old albums, I guess,
but it was-
Oh yeah, the ads were huge.
The ads were huge for what clothes were cool.
It was just really on the pulse.
Yep, I was the only one that ever had it too.
I believe that in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Absolutely.
I was the only one who ever had it
in Elizabeth, Colorado, I'll tell you how much.
It was so, that made me feel awesome having the source.
I really felt like connected for real.
Different than something else.
Like I really was like, I actually do know shit
that people don't know.
No, it's weird that we connect on the same reasons
for the Source magazine.
Yes!
It is.
It's not what you'd think going into this conversation.
No, no, no, but I'm glad.
I'm glad it was that for both of us.
Just a split screen of Sean and David both reading
the Source and simultaneously being like,
I just wish someone around here understood me.
Yeah, totally, totally, totally.
I just look up, yeah, Chino XL, fuck you too.
I wonder if somebody is under the same moon
looking up as me at the same time.
Reading the same source as me.
Anyway, I gotta try this for loco stuff.
Yeah.
I mean, I was young, we're talking,
when I'm in the source. It's like
94 95 96 like 93 94 95 96 those are my big source years
So that if you have those they would probably be worth some money just based on who would be on the covers
Oh, yeah, I mean they have the really famous one with Biggie and the Twin Towers
Yeah
Yeah, that was like a really famous if I would have had any sort of foresight,
I was scribbling on, I mean,
because I was in like suspension.
Yeah, you were all day.
You were on your rhymes in there.
Yeah, just like Eminem on the bus.
He has the biggie one,
but right next to the Twin Towers,
it just has Juggalo for life and bubble letters.
Hey, is this worth any money if I put an eye patch on him?
Or does it diminish?
Is that a problem?
It's...
My fun fact, my dad, John Holland, was in the source.
You got it. What? What?
Oh, yeah. Johnny Holland was in the source, baby.
He's a civil rights attorney and he had a like a case,
really bad racial discrimination case that made national headlines.
And they profiled in the source.
And my dad knew enough to know how cool
the fucking source was.
So he like dropped it on me.
He's like, beat this, beat this.
He tells you to beat it?
And you're still chasing that dragon.
I'm still chasing it.
I'm getting rejected by the New Yorker over here,
trying to chase my dad in the source.
Well, yeah, what you didn't talk about
is how many times you got rejected by the source.
Oh, buddy.
And those were just mixtapes I sent in.
Yeah, he was just trying to get outside. How many times you got rejected by the source? Oh buddy, and those were just mixtapes I sent in
Your dad's in the column called one of the good ones
This one's alright fuck with this one
I never would have thought like I never would have thought you were like two degrees separation from Ben Zeno, but here we are. Wild!
Yeah.
That is really, you would not be the guy I picked, but that's, you know, life is crazy.
Yep. He and my dad had lunch together on an island.
They had to.
It was Coney Island, but it counts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a hot dog. They shared a hot dog.
Oh, dog. That's so sick. Oh, man. The source. Excellent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a hot dog. They shared a hot dog. Yeah. Oh, dog, that's so sick.
Oh, man, oh yeah.
The source, excellent, excellent pick, the source.
Katrina, second, third picks, back to back.
Oh, yay, okay, cool.
So for number two, I'm gonna do another one
from sitting around waiting for your parents.
Jet Magazine.
Ooh, come on, let's go.
My favorite.
Oh, my gosh, it is my favorite.
Probably the most bi thing about me was me looking only
at the beauties of the week and just flaning,
like going through them specifically just to see
beauties of the week.
But there's also other cool stuff in there.
But it also was nice because it was the one place
where they would be like, look at this hot black lady and she wasn't mixed.
No offense. I love mixed women.
But like, when I was little, any time it was that representation,
it was always someone by Rachel's side.
It was no joke, one of the first times I remember seeing like a woman
as brown as me in a bikini.
And it was just nice to be exploited on the same level
as other women.
I really appreciated that equality.
But there's so many fun little,
like, because it's weekly,
like I love the repetition of like different articles
in there, so you could just find one thing
and look at that, you know, article or interview
for every week.
It was great.
Like that must be you.
You know what I loved about Jet too,
was that it felt local local or it felt like a
smaller community in the way that like, you remember they had like wedding
announcements?
Yes. Like it felt very like you're saying just the community of it.
And it was, I guess, just because it was small and weekly that you could be like,
I'm in Jet magazine. But it was like,
Yeah, it would just be like, it would be like so and so and so and so Baltimore
got married and have a picture of them, you know, and you'd be like it would be like so and so and so and so Baltimore got married and have a picture of him
You know and you'd be like, oh that's cool. Like it felt yeah Jet magazine. Well, that's a good one
That's a good it does feel like and you guys can speak this morning I can but like, you know
It just feels like it was very much for the black community
Like I didn't see magazines much at all in my white travels
Like I don't even know where to encounter a jet mag my wife buy them
It was like East Bay for black people just showed up at your house you had to I that's what I thought you had to own
a hair salon and then
Only addresses they would send to I've never
Don't remember seeing the jet magazine on like the the rack at the supermarket or anything like that
They're little I love they were they call it they call it digest
So it says Jet was printed
November 1st, 1951 in Digest sized format.
I've never really heard it called Digest sized.
Oh, cause readers, or sorry, I wanna say pigs.
Cause it's Ebony's baby.
Yeah, Ebony had a baby.
It is.
Named it Jet.
I'm gonna name it Jet.
Baby Jet.
John H. Johnson in November 1951 founded Jet in Chicago.
Yeah, and they like covered gnarly stuff too.
Like they left in the beginning of the civil rights movement.
Yeah.
MLK, Emmett Till, all that stuff.
So that again speaks to like you're saying
the community ad of like, I'm sure real time,
they were like, oh, you want to see the pictures?
We're going to print that shit.
Like that kind of thing.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
That's a good one.
So that OK, so that was my one that I was honestly so afraid
David was going to steal from me.
And my second one.
Wait, I got to tell my dad he didn't make Jet.
You didn't make fucking Jet.
Yeah, you would. You might be down.
You didn't make Jet. You didn't make fucking Jet, Dad. Yeah, you would. You might be down. He's sitting right there.
He doesn't know that John Holland was also a Beauty of the Week.
It's just his dad and I'm speaking of him.
My dad's 71s in Jet.
Just him looking nuts in the 70s.
And then my next pick to speak to your East Bay, David.
I don't know if this will count, but I want to pick Delia's.
It's technically a catalog.
Okay, I love Delia's.
Like, it was so formative even though it's just clothes.
Like, that to me was, I think, a window for me, Adam, to like...
For me, it was girls a little bit older than me,
but it was kind of like clothes that you couldn't...
I couldn't necessarily get at like JCPenney on clearance,
but I could get like one cool pair of pants for my birthday.
Like, they just had all of like...
Like, I remember I wanted a Strokes t-shirt so bad,
but I already got called white enough that I was like,
I don't need that kind of heat.
But like, I think about that Strokes t-shirt all the time.
Like it was a place other than Hot Topic
because I wasn't allowed to go in there
because my parents are Christian.
Then I was just like, this was like,
everything I want is in this magazine.
Like the girls look like how I wanna look.
They're like, it was, man, I freaking love that magazine.
The Warped Tour came to your mailbox.
Yeah.
Here it is.
Basically, it was basically like a Lillith Fair
wrapped in Gwen Stefani showed up to my house
and I got to just dream about all the outfits that I could.
You wanted to on a Defranco canvas tote bag.
We got you. Oh, my gosh. Yes.
Was it like because this is how I remember East Bay for me.
It was like even though those magazines were just closed,
you would look at it over and over again, like it was a regular magazine.
Yes. Absolutely.
Building the look for myself every day was a different look.
I'm like, oh, the Bengals are my favorite now because of this New Jersey.
I want to have that jersey.
You're just sitting there dreaming of like the like teen you want to be.
Like, that's what I want to be visually.
Let's lock that down one day.
Well, and there wasn't like you can be any teen
you want to be with a click on the internet.
It was just like only a certain number of magazines
are gonna get to you, and you gotta decide
what it is out of this catalog you want to be.
For sure.
Call too, I remember my dad, he'd sit every once a year,
he'd buy me a seat, sit and he'd get drunk
and like call in and I'd hear him do it.
I'm like, oh, it's happening.
He's ordering.
Call for the order.
He's spending $300 right now because he's hammered.
Oh yeah.
He's getting his COD.
Yeah, that is, I mean, you imagine how sketchy that would be
if you're the delivery driver, like,
are they gonna pay me for this?
Yes, I can't believe they were putting me on people.
Or am I gonna get shot?
Or am I gonna get shot?
They're just gonna take it or they're gonna give me cash?
I would just take it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's insane.
That is nuts.
That cash on delivery,
if you guys don't know anybody listening.
It's a wild move that we made.
But yeah, Delia's, hell yeah, Delia's.
And was that number three?
Yeah, all right, David, we got number three.
This is a weird pic.
I thought Katrina was gonna get this one.
This was a magazine I thought that if I could read,
it was gonna be like Rosetta Stone.
Like he was gonna crack the code for me.
I know where you're going.
Seventeen magazine.
Yeah, brother.
The secrets. Absolutely.
And then I remember you would try to like you would like grab it from a girl
and then pretend like you were like, what is this?
This is so crazy.
Just eating it up.
Yeah, I'm reading a Seventeen magazine.
And me and Ryo, you're pouring over every page, trying to get some kind of insight.
Yes, being like, memorize every syllable of what girls told other girls.
Just trying to figure out what the fuck is going on on the other side of the fence.
Meanwhile, it's just like, I hate myself in like four different ways.
No, it did not help.
It did not help at all.
Eight reasons you suck that everyone notices.
Yeah.
Yeah, that you can't hide.
Eight reasons that are impossible to hide.
Yeah.
I mean, I say 17, but it's just a placeholder for all those girls' magazines.
Yes.
Where you thought you could get some kind of insight and like crack a code.
Dude, that was my next pick. YM was the same exact same thing.
That was my favorite one.
I feel like YM was like the most down to earth.
It was like YM then 17, then like all Glamour are kind of fluff and more close.
And then Cosmo was like grown women.
That you wanted to like...
We read Cosmo, but we were really scared
of most of the stuff that was in there.
It was a lot.
Cosmo was a lot of sex tips that I didn't understand.
Yes, and we would read them aloud to each other
and be like, that doesn't even make sense.
Like how... Like I remember like being on the beach
with a bunch of my friends and be like, okay,
so if I was a guy this way,
you can't even sit on someone like that and spin.
Being like, these don't even make sense.
Just a bunch of early-os fellatio tips.
And you're like, yeah, I feel like Cosmo was always
just like, keep chunks of mango in your mouth
while you're kissing.
I was gonna say, it was all just different stuff of mango in your mouth while you're kissing. I was gonna say, it was all just different stuff
to put in your mouth while you're giving head
as if there's so much room in there.
Like, why am I like,
where did all these ice cubes come from?
Also, no one's ever been like-
Am I sucking dick in the back bar?
Why is everything so accessible?
Like, there were always accessories.
I'm trying to talk to like my body like,
go ahead, go ahead.
No, just like, yeah, it was dope, but there was no mango in there,
so I mean, it could have been better.
I honestly thought people were gonna be so disappointed
by the lack of a Kutra mall in my drawings
when I went down on them.
See if you fit a couple of whoppers in there.
Yeah.
Make it savory.
Rise up your blow job with buffalo wings.
You like...
Me and Trina hooked up, it was pretty cool,
but she only had eight main collarbeads in her mouth,
and it was... it was fine.
Six out of ten, there's like a score.
Oh, man, so many quizzes.
So many quizzes.
Oh, I did love a good quiz.
Please tell me who I am via quiz form.
I think that that was like Buzzfeed, I guess, was the last one to really get us going.
But I am also had a say anything, which was like girls would write in horror stories.
That's what I love.
I didn't have to sneak it because my sisters got it.
So I would just like take it.
Perfect.
Perfect.
But like the why the say any things were, girls being like, oh my God,
you'll never believe what happened.
And inevitably it was like the biggest period
of all time during class was like every story.
But it was just horror stories.
And I felt like the Rosetta Stone too,
I was like, okay, the girls are,
this is their, what they're afraid of.
They have concerns too, they're neurotic as well.
You got, now I'll use that for them to have sex with me.
You're trying to empathize in class.
In 15 years.
But if Adam ever saw a girl acting cagey and then offered his hoodie for her to tie around her waist,
he would have gotten fucked by anybody who heard that story.
That's the nicest thing you could have done is be aware of period fears.
I didn't pay enough attention. No.
We didn't know the right words.
They were all just like things either coming out of or getting stuck in your snatch.
It was most of the whole story were just like, oh no, it won't stop coming out or I can't
get it out.
That was most of what.
It's stuck.
Yeah.
A lot of them were just like, oh no.
Oh, memories.
Wait, boy, I got one more, dude.
Like Seventeen magazine, my senior year of high school, came to my high school.
They would do profiles of high school fashions.
See, this fucking guy went to a cool school, man.
I was gonna say, I had to get something cool, man.
They came to East High School, but, dude, and everybody knew knew they're like, the people from Seventeen are here,
they're doing a profile on East, this is gonna rip,
and they would just pick kids across several days.
So dude, every day I rocked like a different thing,
trying so hard to get picked.
One day a soccer jersey, one day like a vest with stripes
or whatever, just 90s shit's going on.
And they were like, nope, nope, nope.
I couldn't get in there.
I still have it on you, dude.
Were you pissed when you saw who they picked?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Fucking Rick?
Dude, you picked the wrong job to get into
because none of that changes.
Totally.
What do you mean they got that?
We just had Serge come in our high school.
Oh man, I do remember that as well.
I remember Serge came to ours as well.
Hell yeah.
Like Mr. Serge?
No, yeah, but Adam Serge was the photographer for 17.
Ours was the green shit that you're not supposed to put in your body.
Yeah, make sure boob shrink.
Don't drink it.
I also remember Mountain Dew coming to my boys and girls club and
giving us they give us a a bunch of free Mountain Dew and then they set up a tower of cans and they pull up in a
Hummer set up a tower of cans kick flipped over the tower gave all these black kids free Mountain Dews and drove off immediately
Right gave all these black kids free Mountain Dews and drove off immediately. Jesus Christ.
And then hindsight, you're like, that's fucked.
You hear stuff like that, you're like,
well, maybe RFK should retool a few things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like, that was fucked.
That was fucked.
And just ollied out of your high fructose lives
never to be seen again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck, that's such a good pick.
Such a good pick. 17.
Yeah, 17. People don't realize it was for boys too.
It really was.
It is adorable to know that you wanted information that badly about us.
It's also just, it's like, totally the kind of guy I was where I was like,
yeah, I won't talk to them, I'll just learn their secrets from this magazine and apply it that way.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Like I could have just talked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you were like, I can't trust them to trust to like interpret the words that I say correctly.
I'm going to sneak up on them.
I'm going to do it the sneakiest way possible.
I also just remembered how good those magazines smelled.
So many, so many makeup samples or perfume, perfume samples. I also just remembered how good those magazines smelled. So many makeup samples or perfume samples.
Oh my God, wait, I forgot about the makeup samples though,
because I didn't have makeup.
So I would like save the, like be like, okay,
I have two more fingers worth of eyeshadow
inside this flap.
Like, that was like the best looking week I had
for like the whole summer.
I forgot they would put eyeshadow and shit in there.
Man, that was awesome.
And cologne, right?
I remember opening like in the store, I'd open the thing and like rub the cologne on your neck.
I got you figured out.
That never seemed to transfer in a real way, though.
Let's be honest.
So Sean just smelling like Curve.
Yeah. Just smelling like magazine adhesive glue kind of.
Yeah.
But you think it's Tommy Girl.
Smells like a sexy envelope in here.
What's going on?
Oh, it's just me.
Don't worry about it.
Here's my hoodie.
Who smells like the post office?
Here's my hoodie.
Man, I want to fuck these documents.
Oh man.
But yeah, Seventeen.
That's my pick.
ACH.
Oh man, that was my nextenteen, that's my pick.
ACH.
Oh man, that was my next pick, Bori, for real.
That was it.
I wrote YM slash Seventeen.
All right.
You know, after I became a bit more fucking pathetic in my 20s, I went to Spin magazine.
I was like, fuck Rolling Stone.
Rolling Stone's basic.
I'm on the spin shit now.
And I was very into Spin Magazine for a long time.
Spin was cool though. Spin was cool.
Is Spin more alt?
It felt like it was like College Rock or something like that.
It was just like the sort of more record store snobby magazine.
Because that's more what I remember of a Nirvana cover is like a fish islands of them, like from like if you got shot from like a surveillance camera almost.
Yeah. And just like a lot of gritty when people were doing that, like
it's like a high flash blue like.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Sound garden videos.
I mean, that's where you get like this is a mud honey mother love bone interview
magazine. You know, we're not saying get like, this is a Mudhoney, Mother Love Bone interview magazine.
You know, we're not saying.
But like, they still had really famous people on the cover.
I feel like Spin just seemed cooler.
Like Rolling Stone felt like it was a sellout magazine.
Yeah, it's been seen.
I mean, that's how it's always gonna go,
that way where there's, even Rolling Stone started Alt
or whatever and then it got mainstream.
So someone else is like, all right,
we're gonna capitalize and come in
and get like Blind Melon on the cover is like, all right, we're gonna capitalize and come in and get like blind melon on the cover.
Well, and Spin definitely like was my niche
of early 2000s indie rock, so it was like the bands,
the Strokes, the Hives, the fuckin', yeah, yeah, yeah,
as the White Stripes. Oh my gosh, yes.
That was just like- And it would also have like MIA.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Totally, totally.
When Paper Planes came out, I really,
I did that douchey thing where I'm like,
oh, nobody knows about this. I'm gonna act like I've known about it for years.
When I heard it yesterday for the first time.
Yo, do you know she's a Trumper?
Yeah, she went wild a while ago.
Isn't that crazy? I couldn't believe that one.
I know, it's a real bummer.
But I loved, I loved M.I.A.
I worked in the mall.
And Sunshowerz, like I think maybe the song
before Paper Planes,
and it's still like, you know, kind of like bongo-y,
like the beat.
No one in that store liked that song but me.
Everybody in American Eagle would get on the overhead
and be like, can we get this song?
And it was like, F you Trish, this song rips.
Like I was the only one.
I was gonna ask where you work.
I always wanted to work in a mall, I never got to.
So you worked at American Eagle? Yes, I worked, that's a mall I always wanted to work in a mall, I never got to. So you worked at American Eagle?
Yes, I worked.
I had some mall life.
I did work in a mall.
That's hot shit.
That is.
Well, I used to work in the-
You were cool.
Yeah, with attitude.
I used to work in the sketchy girl store
where they were the only people that still hired you at 15.
And then I graduated to American Eagle.
It was nice. Damn.
Were you getting a lot of free American Eagle?
No, we did have one good day. Nothing was ever free, but we had jeans day for like back to school where you had
to try on all the different pairs of jeans so that you could describe how they fit
to other people.
But it was really fun because it was everyone like when you like want to hope
that you get a shift with your friend and you never do, you knew everyone was
going to be at work that day. So you got to like hang out and try on pants with all the people you like the most at work
So I was like, yeah, that was my favorite day, but no, we never got anything free ever
You didn't steal
I was also of the age where a lot of mine
was being sensitive to men who wanted skinny jeans,
but could not find them on their side of the store yet.
So I spent a lot of time just telling boys
what size they were in girls' jeans,
because they wanted skinny jeans.
There would always be just guys like loitering on my side.
I'd be like, do you need help?
They'd be like, no, no, no, I'm just looking around.
I'd be like, you're not with a girl.
I'd be like, dude, you're a 12.
Get out of my section.
I can't think of a better person to hold someone's hand
in that situation than you, Katina.
That is, you're the best.
God put you on the planet for that.
He's like, you could help these motherfuckers.
You're perfectly dispositioned to do this.
It felt good. I did have my guy friend used to borrow
my one good pair of American Eagle jeans.
He'd be like, I have a date on Friday,
and I'd be like, I need my good jeans.
You can't wear my good jeans on your date.
Like, I know you're getting laid more than me,
but I don't care. I'm wearing my jeans.
In my head, when he said that, he also, like, swooped his hair out.
Oh, he absolutely did.
Trina!
Because he couldn't see me. He also like swooped his hair out. Oh, he absolutely did. Trina!
Cause he couldn't see me.
Aww.
I have to text him.
See how he's doing.
Yeah, see how he's doing.
I worked in a mall my first job and I stole everything.
I stole so much.
Oh yeah.
What mall?
I didn't even know things cost money at the mall until I was like 20.
The Cherry Creek Mall.
I worked at a shoe store called Track and Trail.
Doesn't even exist anymore because I bankrupted it.
Their numbers were out of control.
They were in the red so bad after they hired Adam.
You caught me for the summer before I went to college.
I was leaving state. You're fucked.
I'm taking this all.
Yeah, you're just iced out every day and you're like,
I don't know why we keep losing money, like showing up in the shit.
I didn't even care.
I would steal fucking shoe polish just cause
and then like chuck it off the fucking top
of the parking deck just to be an asshole.
I was, I was relentless.
Good times.
I was the only other brown person
at American Eagle was Filipino.
So I didn't really want to get out there stealing my crazy.
We may have been in different situations.
No one was.
Yeah, Adam and I are just like, what do you mean?
Who gives a shit?
Yeah, I'm getting I was already
a sketchy hire to begin with.
I've definitely gotten jobs and had
people tell me after the fact she
thought you were going to fail your
drug test.
It's a crazy thing to not keep to
yourself.
Because you think that's what happens
when your racism is so good, you think you're actually going to be right and you're not going to have to be around because you think that's what happens when your racism is so good.
You think you're actually gonna be right
and you're not gonna have to be around that person
or smile at them every day for two years.
That is true.
But no, American Eagle was a great place to work.
It was a very, a lot of upstanding.
It was like a more upstanding mature people
that had like other jobs and kids.
And like my manager was an actor that was on cops once
for like a reenactment.
Where was the moment?
Where was this?
He started, that was his reel was just him
getting arrested on Cops.
Yes, no and now that I'm older,
I realized that he was in Jacksonville, Florida,
managing this American Eagle, talking to me
cause he realized that we like kind of were
on the same wavelength cause I was the only one
that didn't get mad
when he played Avenue Q for the floor set.
And so he would tell me about all of his extra work.
BOTH LAUGH
Oh, that's dope, man.
Were you like homies?
Did you have homies with like other people in the mall?
Like, could you go get a free Julius or something?
Like, did the mall workers bind together?
Food. Food friends are cool.
Food friends give stuff away in droves.
Closed friends, not as much.
You can like kinda trade discount.
Like if you buy me this top, I'll buy you these jeans.
But everything's, it's like the most you get is like
20% off, so it's like who cares?
But food friends are awesome,
because they'll be like, are you closing?
Because I'm bringing a cookie cake.
And you'll be like, let's go.
I used to work at a grocery store
and people would come through
and I would scan like a pack of gum
and they would have like their batteries.
Like my friends had come through,
they'd have their batteries, cartons of cigs
and I'd scan a pack of gum and just, I mean, hundreds.
This one girl one time,
someone is popular girls in school.
She came through with a whole cart full of stuff.
It was like $300 worth of stuff,
grocery shopping for her parents.
And she's like, oh, I don't have my debit card.
And I was like, it's cool, don't worry about it.
And she's like, what?
She goes, what?
And I'm like, shut the fuck up.
And I was like, just take it.
It was the coolest I ever looked.
Did she talk to you afterwards?
People heard about it.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Word got around.
Ha ha ha.
People heard that Sean gave someone
a week's worth of groceries out the door, no tax.
Let's just say I wasn't late to class anymore.
Oh, okay, that's good.
I don't even know what it meant.
And my voice cracked when I said it.
That's how much of a liar I am.
Anyway, time for my third.
What number are we on?
I gotta strategize, what number is this?
I know.
So this will be my third and fourth.
So coming up is gonna be everyone's fourth round.
So everyone has two picks left.
I have three.
So it is time for my third pick.
Before we get to that pick, another quick break.
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Oh, we're back time for my third and fourth picks
I'm gonna go double skateboard
To no one's surprise. So my third pick I'm gonna go on the nose thrasher
Just the timeless skateboard magazine did anybody else here ever mess around a thrasher?
Yeah, I would, I would thumb through in the library.
Only to look at boys, but yes, I did.
Yeah, we were those dirty boys.
I'm telling you thankfully that there's that,
maybe it's gone, I don't know,
but when I was in, there was a few years
where I was in the pocket where I'm like,
oh man, girls really seem to like this dirty kid
that just doesn't give a shit.
That was like really appealing.
For sure.
So that's awesome that that worked out.
SZA has it in a song.
She likes dudes with dirty shoes.
It's hard.
Yeah, dude.
I saw that guy skateboarding around San Francisco
a couple times.
Who, Jake Phelps?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he was the.
I never knew.
One time I was standing with Claire O'Kane
and she was like, that's the guy who runs Thrasher. I was like, yeah. I never knew. One time I was standing with Claire O'Kane and she was like, that's the guy who runs Thrasher.
I was like, that's the weed, dog.
Yeah, he was, the thing about some of those old skate dudes
is they still say the words, some of them.
You know, where you're like, we can't,
you can't say that, but they,
there's no real way to say it.
It's just, it's like the F word, those things.
And I swear they don't mean it maliciously,
but of course it always is.
It's just that old mentality of like, why can't I say this?
And you're like, well, there's a bunch of reasons,
but they just never stop.
Jake Phelps was one of those dudes where he would say
every one of those words and you're like,
I don't know, man.
He's an interesting dude, he was. So are you saying we need more trans women at the skate park, Sean?
There are...
I think he might take Trans World next.
Yeah, we need more visibility.
Because that's what I was thinking.
It's just because there's no one at the park that would ever...
It's like, it's just us, dude.
It's like, I've gone roller skating and been like,
oh, there's no one but dudes.
Like, all dudes of different ages and sizes that are all the same person. All at the park. So it's like, oh, there's no one but dudes, like all dudes of different ages and sizes
that are all the same person, all at the park.
So it's like, yeah, I can see why they're like,
what's the big deal?
I've never literally been around anyone else
that it mattered,
because I'm only ever around people at this park.
We're just barbecuing on our radiators.
So, yeah, so Thrasher, nothing crazy to say about it.
It kind of covers just the best like skate magazine there was.
And then, yeah.
Great thought, sick hoodies.
Timeless, and I'm not a purist.
I don't feel like,
cause people get mad that the Thrasher logo
is like everywhere now.
The way I see it, it helps skateboarding in general.
Like if that means that some people get more money
for being professional skaters, then I'm fine with it.
If that means that Thrasher gets more money
and can stay around longer in an imprint magazine,
which is going away, then I'm fine with it.
So I don't know, I don't care about that stuff.
Everybody go buy a Thrasher shirt, support skateboarding.
The other one, my fourth pick is a defunct magazine,
but it was absolutely the best, is Big Brother magazine.
Oh, I saw the documentary on it. Oh precursor to
Like check us, right? Yeah, that's where all the jackass people met. So Big Brother Larry Flint
Of hustler fame. Yeah, so Big Brother started as a magazine and then Larry Flint bought it and then I think that started kind of
Going downhill, but it's where like all the jackass people met they had those videos like
I think that started kinda going downhill. But it's where all the Jackass people met.
They had those videos like shit, boob, and poop
were their three videos they made.
And they were just like Jackass before Jackass.
Like Johnny Knockville in the shit video
shot himself point blank with a.45.
He got tased, all these things.
And Big Brother was like,
we definitely shouldn't have been reading it.
There was no reason a kid should have had
Big Brother ever.
Yes.
Nudity, there were so many,
I mean they had the Bong Olympics,
they had all,
they had horror stories too.
They like,
people would write in and just tell horror stories.
I remember one specific,
I can't even say it.
They were just gross.
They were super, super gross.
Stuff stuck in stuff?
Same?
It was fetish stuff.
Fetish stuff when I was way too young.
And now I look back and I'm like, I don't think,
I think this person just wrote it in for shock value.
But I believed it when I was, you know, 15.
And it was crazy.
Like piss stuff that Ben Roy's into?
I'm trying to start this rumor
that Ben Roy's super into piss stuff.
I've been doing it on my podcast a lot.
But yeah, my buddy Ben Roy, the comedian's like,
big into pissed stuff.
I have no idea.
Yeah, it's weird.
And he's single, so like, if you're into him,
that's his kink.
He did, I remember High Plains last year.
He had me pee in a Gatorade,
and he just poured it on himself.
It's what he's into.
Yeah, Ben Roy, the tattooed comic from Denver,
super pissed stuff guy.
But go ahead, Sean.
I wonder if the Judo crew knows that.
I'm sure they do, they shower together and shit.
I'm sure they all know that.
Yeah, they all peel them.
Anyway, oh, Ben doesn't come for me, by the way.
It's all good, buddy.
If he does, you're gonna have to get my back.
There's a quick way to disarm him.
Oh, I peed my pants, Ben.
Just hit him with the old number one.
Anyway, yeah, Thrasher and Big Brother.
Just my skateboard magazines loved them.
And yeah, we've talked about skateboarding enough.
Adam, time for your fourth pick.
Okay, my fourth pick is not, doesn't mean much to me at all,
but every time that I encounter it,
I'm pretty happy to spend some time with it.
And it's usually in a waiting room at an office or wherever.
Architectural Digest.
Oh, that's fun.
I do not mind that one fucking bit because it's always a waiting room
experience for me and I'm like, let's get into it.
Let's see what people, let's see how the rich are fucking living.
I want to check it out.
I want to see some nice houses.
I want to see some living rooms.
I just enjoy flipping through that thing.
It's so good.
I'll always take a look.
Also great pictures and it's extra big.
So you can really like imagine you're in the space.
I love architectural digest.
And it's there's some fantasy you're like, yeah, if I had, yes, I would do something like this.
Oh yeah, it has to be. Otherwise I'd be mad.
It's like I'm just putting my put myself in these beautiful places.
I'm not thinking about how this Louisiana mansion
cost $14 million.
Or what blood money earned it.
I don't give a fuck.
I just wanna see this house.
Exactly.
I like the AD tour of people's houses.
Just like the new famous people cribs
where you're like, oh, this is your house.
It's fun.
Yeah, I do wanna see where Jesse Tyler Ferguson,
what his loft looks like. Dude, I remember I do want to see where we're like Jesse Tyler Ferguson. What is loft looks like, you know?
Dude, I remember the last one I was looking through.
It was like right when Kendrick Lamar and Drake were really starting to beef.
It was like it was right when that was happening.
I was in some waiting room and there's an architectural digest.
And like I'm old. I got kids. I don't listen to shit anymore.
I know Kendrick's fucking way better, but I didn't care.
I'm not invested in this.
I'm just like all these two people in pop culture are beefing. I don't give a shit. But then they had Drake's Toronto mansion and that dumb ass chandelier and your dumb marble stairway,
I'm fucking Kendrick Lamar dog.
I don't even need to hear anything.
Whatever gets you there, Adam.
And I landed on the right side.
I landed on the right side.
I wonder what I would do.
Like, if I was 20 and I had that amount of money,
I would have had some crazy, some crazy shit. And probably, I wonder what I would do. Like if I was 20 and I had that amount of money,
I would have had some crazy, some crazy shit.
And it probably, yeah, wouldn't have been very cute.
I would have lost my life.
I would have too.
After I decorated my house,
I think all the drugs probably would have ended me.
But yeah, like a lot of Scarface stuff,
a lot of Tupac stuff, it would have been,
it would have been a house for sure.
Just a diamond encrusted Scarface.
Why don't you guys excuse Drake's horrible fucking choices
just because he was young and had money.
He's been around money long enough
to develop some fucking taste.
Apparently Drake is 38, which is way too old
to be making golden toilet level gaudy ugly decisions.
Exactly.
I'm just trying to think of like all the gaudy stuff.
You've been making money since Degrassi, homie.
Right, only because it's not like a lotto person winning money. ugly Since Degrassi homie
Only cuz it's not like a lotto person winning money like you don't have that level of excuse for you had time to get some taste
I'm picturing my death row dining room where every chair is an electric chair
That's that's there that's fucking holds up buddy, that's still pretty cool
That's fucking holds up buddy. That's still that's pretty cool
I'm thinking about the death row logo with the electric chair I'm like, yeah, I have a whole I have a whole dining room like every chair could be an electric chair
When you turn on the light murder was the case starts playing every day
I can't I don't have this anywhere Pete Mont Montecuolo, if you're listening, send it to me.
So one time I rapped, Murder Was the Case,
and recorded and sent to this girl, Tammy Jacobson.
I rapped it.
You sent Murder Was the Case to a girl?
Girl?
Girl?
Gosh.
And I remember listening to it,
and being like, yeah, that sounds hard as hell.
I would love to hear it.
You love me?
I would love. And you. I would love it.
And you were trying to woo this girl.
This was a noverture of I like you.
I was in sixth grade and I did the remix.
So not the one on Doggie Style,
the one that he did for the movie,
like the remix or whatever.
Of course.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, if you'd done Doggie Style,
she'd have been like, no thanks.
Yeah, what?
No thanks.
I remember too.
But I love the idea that you couldn't translate enough
to like a romantic feeling.
You were like, this shit is hard.
And that is what a woman needs to feel to kiss me.
Is for her to be like, yo, yo!
Like, that's what you want.
Like, what did you think she was gonna do when she heard it?
Like she was gonna be bobbing her head?
I don't know.
I thought she was gonna be so excited
that I memorized it, honestly.
That I'd be like, oh that's the.
Yeah.
Like this guy has access to murder was the case.
And I remember specifically that,
the way he goes, has a look up at the sky.
And I thought that I was really,
I really made a meal
Out of it because I go
As I look up at the sky
The things that this talk boy had to take in
Come by my house if you like this.
And then it's like stops.
Acapella, you know I never really thought about that.
We didn't even read it.
There's no track, like you're not even rapping.
No, just, cause also that means it took a while for her
to, if she knew the song, be like,
is this murderous, the case?
Like she had to listen to it enough.
If she didn't know the song, she thinks she's gonna fucking kill her.
Like out of nowhere with no music in the background, spoken word.
Yeah. She didn't, she just thought I wrote it that day.
Oh my god.
Sean Jordan wrote me a really mean poem. I don't think I would've sit next to him anymore.
She heard that song and a year later,
she was on the cover of Sports Illustrated Kids,
Swimsuit Editions.
I just sent her down the fucking road.
Oh, my God.
Swimsuit Editions.
Oh, my God.
And on that note, David, time for your fourth.
And wait, oh yeah, just for quick.
No, my fourth.
My fourth pick, I'm gonna take another sports magazine
that I think started when I was in high school.
It was like, it quickly, so it was like, I liked Sports Illustrated, but when this came out, it was like the younger, sexier magazine.
I'm taking ESPN.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It was just kind of cooler.
It was like, it was like, I feel like they had just different athletes.
It just felt a lot less buttoned up.
You know what I mean?
Then Sports Illustrated position themselves as like anti like the alternative
sports illustrate for sure they were coming out with a sports spin.
Kind of kind of because they didn't do because you remember what they did.
They didn't do the swimsuit issue,
they had the body issue.
And it would be like all kinds of different athletes nude.
Oh, I remember those.
They would have like bigger people
and it was like, it was really cool.
And like.
Olympians, like a shot.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's like I wanna see Bo Jackson's delts.
Yeah.
Show me those thighs on a beach.
Give me the bands.
I remember Prince Fielder was on the cover, swinging a bat, you remember?
Yeah.
But yeah, ESPN magazine.
But it was monthly, so you would read the SIs in the middle to supplement, and then
once a month you would...
And that one's big too.
Isn't it like wider?
It is big, yeah it was bigger.
It was a really big magazine just physically.
Yeah, shout out to that, yeah ESPN magazine.
Man, print media, I miss print media guys.
Me too. It was very nice,
like different sizes you'd get excited,
like look at this little double digest from Archie Comics.
Okay, what a cute size.
Like it's just.
I miss the pacing of it.
So we didn't have to watch the news every fucking day.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, it was great.
It was really, really great.
Is it, is it coming back a little bit?
Just stuff?
I mean, physical, tangible, like physical media a little bit.
Like baby zines.
I know people that do zines, but it's like on a very small scale.
Like community, like music and you know what I mean? Like just one community of creatives, but yeah, and like you request and get it mailed to you and stuff and it's fun, but not big.
DVDs and VHS, it feels like that stuff's kind of coming back like cassettes a little bit.
Where are you that you feel like this?
He's in the bottom of a fucking thrift store, dude.
Yeah.
I'm in my own happy little world.
A man tried to represent himself
with an AI lawyer the other day
and you think cassettes are coming back?
What's happening?
Damn.
All right.
That's amazing.
I'm gonna stay in my bubble.
I like it there.
I like it. No, it's good over there.
Yeah, man. ESPN. And Katrina, time to close.
You got your fourth and your final picks.
Okay. So, oh yeah, since they're back to back,
I'll do this one first and then the one
that I'm slightly more excited about.
But this one, another one I'm doing,
because so many of my other ones we've taken, because they're all good, but Life magazine.
Because that was another one that.
But I feel like they showed gnarlier pictures.
That's like specifically what I took away from Life,
because I have, I like the big chronological books
that Life will do.
Oh, yeah. Those are great. Those are great.
And I feel like National Geographic shows you the beauty
and life shows you the real shit.
Like they'll do like a freeze frame
of somebody getting shot in the face or something.
Like, so that was another one that I watched just for the...
Yeah, like Kennedy getting assassinated
is on the cover of Life.
Yes! And so I used to look at those when I was little
and be like, whoa.
If you believe it happened, I don't believe it.
But if you believe it happened.
They have the doctor image on the front of one.
You had a brain aneurysm.
Yeah.
But yeah, that's another.
Those gnarly, like the ones where you're like,
damn, photographers are in there too.
Yes.
They were also in the war.
And that's kind of what the big books will talk about
is sometimes like the people that took the picture
or where they were, how close they were, that kind of stuff.
So yeah, that was my other National Geographic pick.
And then my last pick, I feel like I've accidentally been harping on
just because I've been bringing up sizes and fonts,
but Communication Arts Magazine...
It's very specific.
There's no reason for you to.
I literally only know about it because of work,
but it's like for graphic designers and topographers
and people that do things with like lettering and spacing
and like digital graphics.
And I love it. And it's also wide set.
Like it's a really big, like large, wide set publication
and they have great visuals, but I like it for the...
nuance of it because it's a place I can read about things
that I feel stupid about in real life
because they don't actually matter.
Like, the other day there was something I saw on Instagram
about people are trying to stop using capital letters now.
Like, younger people are coming into, like,
jobs in social media and saying that, like,
posts do better when there's no capital letters.
Some people feel like it's too aggressive.
Some people see it as like their rebellion
against authority that like you have to write
this certain way and-
So he coming shit.
Yeah, right.
And that's what a lot of people were like,
black feminists have been doing this since the sixties,
whatever, but there were people that are also younger,
younger people
coming into the workforce that have to write
are saying that like, basically feeling like,
I feel like it's intense to like use capital letters
and I have-
I feel like you're shouting at me
at the beginning of every sentence.
Right, and so I had such staunch feelings
about the way your brain works
and needs to break up things to read them properly
as sentences and things
that I was like, I can't comment on this on Instagram,
but I feel like communication arts will do a piece on it
that makes me feel seen at some point in the next month.
Interesting.
Okay, okay.
I almost exclusively use capital letters.
I write in all caps.
You're counting on us a lot.
Oh, people definitely think that I'm-
Really, I sign my name in all caps? Yeah, like if us. Oh, people definitely think that I'm...
I sign my name in all caps?
Yeah, like if I leave a note, you look like you're in danger, but also you paid attention.
You can read it, dude.
Good luck with an R and an N. They're the same thing if they're lowercase to me.
I've been cutting letters out of different magazines and pasting them on paper.
With little riddles on it.
You guys don't do that?
That's how I communicate.
Man, that would be tight.
Adam's going through wheat paste by the gallon over there.
If you guys know a source, I am hammering cash on that wheat paste.
No, I got a plug actually.
We'll talk after.
Oh, that's tight.
Oh my God.
Wait, Katrina, can I tell you one grammar thing?
Cause I think you'll appreciate it.
I was a writer for a newspaper for five years.
And when I was coming up writing as a kid,
at the end of every sentence, you'd hit period
and you'd space twice, space, space.
I've heard about this.
That was the way you did it.
I've heard about it.
I've heard about your generation healing from this.
Please keep going. So I went to a proper newspaper from this. Please keep going.
So I went to a proper newspaper.
I'm a writer now.
I'm turning in copy every fucking day.
And after about a month, this woman, Jane Lee, the copy editor, this sweet lady came
into my cubicle and she's like, dog, we got to fucking talk.
Like I've been going through and undeleting one space after every one of your fucking
words.
She's like, this doesn't happen in real life.
I don't know why your generation got this fucking weird memo.
I don't know who hurt you, but you don't need this many spaces.
That's so funny.
Got it.
And I never was taught that, but I've seen memes of other typographers
that are like, you don't have to do two spaces anymore.
Like, it's okay, the healing can begin.
And I was like, what are they talking about?
I don't know why it ever started.
But it was just like-
I just learned it right now.
I thought I've been doing that my whole life.
I just learned right now that you're not supposed to do that.
I wonder if it was a typewriter thing.
Cause I used to play on a typewriter a lot
when I was little too.
Are the spaces smaller on a typewriter or something?
Like why?
But I was never taught that,
but I do know that it's a thing.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I'm gonna ask my wife after this.
I thought, for real, to tell just now.
Sean, you and I are about the same age, dude.
Yeah, our generation all did this and had to like.
No, I didn't do that.
They never taught us that in like computer class.
We never got taught to do two spaces.
I do remember in, it would have been sixth grade
typing class.
This was so weird.
Sixth grade typing class.
Even though we had computers, we had to we had to do it on typewriters.
There were typewriters in the back.
They were like, these newfangled machines won't last.
They got to know how to work on the real stuff.
I don't know, because even at the time it was a very dated technology.
We had to take out.
There was a bunch of typewriters in the back.
They gave you like your typewriter with your number.
So you were always 27 or whatever.
And they would when you would do the test, they would tape a piece of paper
on top of it and you would put your fingers on that, too, with the key.
You were doing home home keys or whatever.
Yeah, so weird.
Man, our kids are going to think we're old as fuck.
The things we did are just so...
They're gonna have the Neuralink.
They're gonna have the Neuralink.
They're not gonna, what the typing?
What are you talking about?
You're right.
What the fuck is Quirty?
You're not gonna know.
Is that the name of your chip for sixth grade?
I don't understand.
Yeah, I don't understand.
Home key?
Yeah, fucking who knows? But that's it. I don't understand. Yeah, I don't understand. Home key.
Yeah, fucking who knows. But that's it. I like that. All right. Number five, Playboy.
It's me or Dave. David. I gotta I gotta do it. I gotta you know, I just it was important. Somebody had to put out in a butt magazine. I take King magazine. Oh, that's a good one, though. It never made it out of the store.
Maya is one that comes to my mind is
don't even game changer.
So Martin Luther King magazine.
You probably like it was
like the
magazine.
Seems like it would have been up his alley.
This is a fine publication. I just Googled it because I don't The world's best magazine. It seems like it would have been up his alley. He wouldn't have been against it.
This is a fun publication.
I just Googled it because I don't know.
I've never done a Martin Luther King impression before.
I'm so sorry.
I like that that's where you started was him reading King magazine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is a new character for you, Katrina.
King. King on King. King on, Katrina. King, King on King.
King on King.
Welcome back to King on King.
It's just him.
It's just him looking.
If you go to the Wikipedia page and look up King Magazine,
the first cover is Rosa Acosta
on the cover of the Winter 2010 issue,
and holy cow, it's great.
They were all holy cow.
It's one of the only pictures you can even see
on Wikipedia.
I don't think King even had articles with words.
Seven year run. King magazine.
Oh, man. They went for it.
Oh, that's all we needed.
Yeah. There's a Foxy Brown that was a pretty big one.
Oh, that's hilarious.
I'm pretty sure it's King.
My friend had for the save screen on her phone
for upwards of five years was Stacey Dash, I think, on the front of King magazine.
That was a big one.
That was a big one.
King brought people back that you didn't know.
Like yeah.
Got stacked like that.
Yeah.
Where you were like, wait, what the fuck?
I didn't know.
Were you like, that's Stacey Dash?
Yeah.
They had like a remember her issue.
No, that's why the Maya one really sticks out.
Yeah, King Magazine, we all had butt mags.
I don't know, I don't think there were any words in it
that didn't need to be.
Cause it was King, XXL.
Yeah. Is that it?
What's another?
Well, XXL wasn't a butt magazine,
we had double XL was like a rap magazine.
They just also had a lot of butt.
Is it music?
Yeah, it's music. Oh, I thought XXL was like a source. They just also had a lot of butt. Is it music? Yeah, it's music.
Oh, I thought the word was like butt, okay.
I mean the name, yeah.
There's also black tail, but that's maybe a deeper.
That's specific.
Yeah, okay, no but.
That almost sounds like a shampoo.
It's not, it is not.
It is not.
But yeah, King Magazine.
That's also funny.
Oh man, this time. If you look it up, it says King Mag.
They don't even go with a zine.
They just King of Mag.
I don't think it was a zine.
It's the thing.
Yeah.
It's a mag, dude.
It's a straight up mag.
Oh man.
Oh, Adam.
I mean, if David's taking it there, I'll keep it going down Horn Dog Lane.
When you got that Victoria's Secrets catalog in the mail,
it was an event.
Brother, I was just telling somebody the other day,
I think from 97 to 03, my mom never got one
that made it to her hands.
100%.
She never got to order those negligee's.
She doesn't know what's in there.
You knew when it was...
It was like the Mail and Goodfellas?
Victoria's Secret season was coming.
You knew, you were like,
okay, I feel like it's spring, there's a new one.
It wasn't every month,
it was probably like every three months, seasonal.
Yeah, I think it was quarterly.
Yeah, yeah.
I would throw some grass up in the air
and watch the wind blow.
Victoria's Secret's coming.
He kneels down and tastes the dirt.
I get on my roof.
Kids, hey gang, it's coming tomorrow. So get the mail before your parents get home. It's
coming tomorrow. Sure as shit.
I'm sick. I'm going to be by the mailbox all day. I think I've got the flu.
I've got to through some tough times.
I only feel good out there.
Slipping through your mom's hands like a satin robe.
Dude, I can remember opening it. It was like stapled. I remember sliding my fingers, trying like not to rip it.
I remember all of it.
Like Tyra Banks had a great run.
Tyra Banks was the, she was the queen of Victoria's Secret.
Yeah.
And Sports Illustrated too.
Wasn't she for a second?
Was she ever in Sports Illustrated?
She was on the cover for sure.
But yeah.
Really enjoyed their work.
Really enjoyed everything about the mag.
Got a good shot up.
Hated going in there.
Hated going in there with my mom at the mall.
Never had to do that.
Oh, cause then what is the problem then?
Why is that not fun to see like the thongs in real life?
Because I'm in there with my mom.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, going in the store was never the fun part.
The experience you wanted. Yeah, Going in the store was never the fun. The experience you wanted.
At that part of JC Penny's like where you're like, can I just go look at that?
Can I go play the Tony Hawk demo? I don't, I can't be in.
It seems like a good idea.
I'm going to hide inside of this circular clothing rack for an hour.
Oh man. Those were fun to get in though
Yeah, it's climbing there
Like a little city in there you could just hang out and watch ankles. Yeah, I scare the shit out of people
There's a this one's taken my bed
Yeah, Victoria's secrets catalog. Thank you for your service.
Me and many people of my generation really, really appreciate your work.
And there's a lot of looks in a Victoria's Secret catalog.
Yeah. Like as was as even to shop it.
There's a lot of stuff in there.
No, they got they they they they understand it's a cornucopia.
Well, I mean, I suppose if we're going down that route, I'll keep it horny too.
And I'm gonna pick Nintendo Power for my last pick.
Yes!
I looked at, I almost picked Sega.
There was a Sega magazine.
There was a Sega magazine?
Like I was just looking at old magazines
and I was like, I can't do this one,
but Sonic was on the front.
And I was like, if I would have known this existed,
I definitely would have been with this.
Dude, I mean, Nintendo Power, I Power, it was so mind boggling
because way before the internet or anything,
they would have the whole stage mapped out in a line
on like a double page spread.
Yeah, you're right.
They'd be like, here's this entire world,
here's where all the secrets are, here's how you beat it.
I mean, it was just crazy.
They'd show you all the levels,
so even the levels I couldn't get to in like contra or whatever
They would show you what they look like or altered beast
It would just get you so excited to get to that level
I don't know it was just the first like real motivation I had in life was Nintendo power being like this is how you do it
I loved it. I loved it so much. That was I had a subscription to that. They had like a yearly
Secrets guide you could get.
It was just, yeah, it was icy.
I imagine it's not around anymore, but.
Very fun for your boy.
And that does it, that's all the picks.
Isaac, before we recap, do you have any,
oh, Isaac's pinching, there he goes.
I'm here.
All right, what do you got?
What's a magazine you're too young for?
I did not grow up reading a lot of magazines.
It's a little bit before my time, but Slam Magazine, I do remember.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Was that another horny one?
It could have been a horny one.
It was last year.
I can trace your logic there, how you got to that being a horny one.
It's the same Janet Jackson cover, but just basketballs.
She's just Shaq back with Shake'em Up fries like Duncan on someone.
Just Shaq's hands holding two basketballs.
Shaq's hands completely covering Janet Jackson.
Her whole face. Shaq's hands and her whole body.
I'm too big to put one on top, one on bottom.
It's not the picture there.
Why am I irritating so many black men today?
What's happening?
We got Shack and MLK out of you today.
Yeah, this is great.
Oh yeah, Slam Magazine, that was dope.
Before we recap, anything on the board?
I mean, we left off people, time.
Newsweek. Newsweek. Oh, we left off people, time, newsweek.
Oh, I didn't think about time.
That's a good, like, important as a human one.
Essence and Ebony were both in our house a lot.
If you got Jet, I was gonna pick Ebony.
Yeah.
No one took the main horny one.
Playboy.
Playboy.
Yeah.
I never really looked at it.
It also was like a magazine you didn't like get like that.
Or for me, you know what I mean?
It was like you'd see what every now and again.
The horny one that I had was Maxim.
That's what I thought you would have to do.
Yes, I was waiting for someone to pick Maxim.
That made me feel, and I just didn't want to have,
even though we're gonna go into now,
I did read the articles, they were interesting
because they would, I don't know,
I can't even remember anything specific.
How to make a kegerator, whatever.
We're like, okay, all right, I'll read that.
And then also just like-
Maxum did visually intimidate me as a young woman
because it was just like, I'm never gonna be that wet.
They were always just so-
They're sopping wet.
It was insane.
Just damp and angry, but like no one seems upset.
It was just like, I'm never gonna be this woman.
They're standing in the shower like,
how are they wetter in the shower? If Maxum never happened, Joe Rogan never happens. I don't know, I'm never gonna be this woman. You're standing in the shower like, how are they wetter in the shower?
If Maxim never happened, Joe Rogan never happens.
I don't know, I can trace that line.
Oh, I think so too.
Somehow.
There was like an empowering of dumb bros and Maxim.
There was the Man Show Avenue,
which I think Maxim was probably
directly responsible for. Oh, like every Maxim girl,
like if you didn't make Maxim,
you just directly pipelined to being a girl on a trampoline.
Yeah, pretty much. It also like, Maxim, you just directly pipelineed to being a girl on a trampoline. Yeah. Yeah.
It also like Maxim is like a, had a,
it only really had one kind of lady.
Oh yeah. Fair enough.
I could see that as like just from the covers.
Like I always felt with Maxim too.
I was like, oh, I don't even think this is for me.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not enough King energy.
Just, it's just like not, not,
it was just for frat dudes is what it felt like.
Oh, that does, yeah, it does seem like that.
It was like a very specific one type of dude even.
They had like fraternity and sorority issues, I think,
that were more so like farther down that street.
I didn't go to college, so I was already like,
I'm over here.
I'm out.
I'm on my lunch break at work.
I just gotta get thumb through this King and get back.
Yeah, King had a GED edition that was outta control.
Yeah.
King had like best places to take your smoke break.
Just fuckin' treach.
Yeah, anyway, also, Hemispheres or Sky Mall.
I just, those were always fun.
They're not around anymore, but those are like
the plane magazine catalogs or whatever, you know?
I love, Sky Mall is another place that I did enjoy
imaginary shopping when it was stuck back there.
Yeah, Sharper Image.
Oh, GQ.
Finger Hut.
GQ.
Esquire.
Esquire, yeah, all that kind of stuff.
Damn.
Well, let me recap before we get out of here.
The Atlantic Scribe, there's lots of good stuff.
There's lots of magazines.
I was thinking about George,
but I wasn't smart enough to ever read it.
I just remember it being a big deal when it came out.
I don't even know what that is.
George Quarterly.
It was like a political magazine
that one of the Kennedys started,
but it didn't last that long.
But I remember when it came out, it was like-
The one that died in the plane crash.
Oh, really?
He started, it was his magazine.
Okay.
My stepdad would read The Economist sometimes.
Yeah, or The Week?
The Week's a pretty good one.
What's that?
I don't know.
Just like everything that's going on in the world,
that week, it's still, it's legit.
Ooh, I'd look into that.
It's Economist adjacent, but it's just okay.
Is it like The daily as a magazine?
Yes.
I'd look into that.
All right.
All right, so to recap, Katrina, you went first.
You picked Zoo Books, Jet Magazine,
Delia's Life and Communication Arts.
David, you went second.
Nat Geo, The Source, 17, ESPN, and King Magazine.
That's a list.
Yeah, stand by.
Adam, you went third.
The New Yorker, Sports Illustrated,
Spin, Architectural Digest, and Victoria's Secret. It's a list. Adam, you went third, the New Yorker, Sports Illustrated, Spin, Architectural Digest,
and Victoria's Secret.
And I went last.
It's a good afternoon.
Highlights, Rolling Stone, Thrasher, Big Brother,
and a Nintendo Power, so I had a six year old draft for me.
It sounds like.
I like it.
We have good lists.
Yeah, I think so too, I like that.
It's not, you know, that's what I mean,
like obviously you get your Playboys,
but it's, this is, you know, this is where it needs to go. I think after too, I like that. You know what I mean? Obviously you get your playboys, but this is where it needs to go.
I think after this is done,
we'll all start a magazine together.
Guys, let's start a rag.
Yeah.
Let's start a fucking rag.
Yeah, we have culture, important things,
and just enough butt.
Yeah.
Just a combination.
I think that's what we call it.
I think you just stumbled on a title.
That's beneath the mask. Just enough butt. Just enough butt. Just a combination. 100%. I think that's what we call it. I think you just stumbled on a title. That's beneath the mask.
Just enough butt.
Just enough butt.
Just enough butt.
It's wholesome.
Just enough butt.
JEB.
JEB Magazine.
JEB, dude.
We wanna hear your picks.
Hit us up at allfantasypodcast.gmail.com.
Shout out to everyone on the AFV subreddit.
Shout out to everyone on the AFV Patreon.
Get over there, we're doing nice things.
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You get the full video of the podcast,
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We just started to get mailbag episode,
auction draft episodes, all of the live episodes.
Some episodes that we dare not release
on the main feed are on there.
And hop over, it's a good time.
And yeah, thank you so much for listening.
Shout out to everyone who's listening.
Shout out to Katrina, shout out to Adam.
Thank you so much for being on the out to everyone who's listening. Shout out to Katrina. Shout out to Adam. Thank you so much for being on the show
and gracing us with your presence.
Go see them on their respective show dates.
And yeah, shout out to Sid the Dude.
Shout out Frankie Ocean.
Shout out to Haji Beats.
And more important than all,
shout out to Saint Succar Mel, sorry about that.
Shout out to Ian.
Have fun in Bolivia.
More important than all that,
tune in again next week to another brand new episode
of All Fantasy Everything.
Shakakity!
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