All Fantasy Everything - Mikes (w/ Zach Harper, Jason Concepcion, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: December 21, 2017

All I need is one Mike, but you're getting 20. Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedian David Gborie, and writers Jason Concepcion and Zach Harper to draft Mikes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that got really stoned at its holiday party last night. And so it had to take an Uber in today. Because it made the smart, responsible decision to take an Uber back from the holiday party last night. Sure. Where this podcast was wearing a burgundy suit yeah yes because last year i got blackout drunk at the christmas party and then wasn't in any of the fun pictures so this year i try to make up for lost time it's that podcast that's what the podcast is i've really lost my way on those podcast introductions

no i don't don't don't let zach tiscani get in your head. He's in my head. Oh, he jumped right in. Yeah. That was crazy. Well, he's a psycho. That was a crazy... I hope he doesn't hear that, because I'd be concerned. I think he'll hear it. He's definitely going to hear it. Yeah, you are going to be working at a Chick-fil-A underground in his prison mall. That's the craziest pic that anyone's ever made. There's so many layers.

I can't get over that. Jason, this is... You can talk whenever. This is... I'll do the intros. Okay, good. Listen, I'm just compiling my list of Michaels. I take fantasy very seriously. I'm trying to like target areas of inefficiency. I'm just getting ready. That's all.

Needs handcuffs. That's it. Yeah, absolutely. So, well, I'll just do the intro. That was a crazy pick. The fucking, the, our friend, we, I don't know if you listened to it. I do. Yeah.

We were drafting, what was it? Things to do with a billion dollars? Yeah, things he would do with a billion dollars. And he had like a prison island with a food court that no one went to. He would make his enemies work at, and no one would be allowed to frequent. But wasn't there another food court directly across that people would frequent, and they would have to just look at that? Just sit there and live with the fact that nobody wants to go to their Cinnabon.

Also, Zach is the nicest guy. How does he have enemies? No, he's not. I don't think he is. I think there's something similar in him. Zach's not a nice guy? No. On the surface, yes, but there's something.

Zach's always been very nice to me. Yeah. See? He's already- I'll just say that. Keep it that way. He's currying favor. Yeah.

I don't want to live on a prison island, although if there is a Cinnabon, that's okay. If there's a Cinnabon, it's going to be great. That's the thing. How could he stop me from sneaking Cinnabon bites? That's the question. No, I feel like you could eat as much Cinnabon. No. Here's the thing.

I don't think you want to test that. Oh, yeah. Because if he finds out... You're making it, right? If he finds out, what's going to happen? If he finds out, he's going to have to fire the manager, count the churros. It could be one of those situations. He's got a billion dollars. He's going to be paying that close later, fire the manager, count the churros. It could be one of those situations. He's got a billion dollars. He's going to be paying that close

attention to his prison? It's a plan with some holes in it. What else is to do on that island? It's a plan with some holes in it. We've talked about Zach a lot just at the time. He is someone who, if you ask, do you have enemies? He's like, yes, and he can name them. That's a red flag, by the way.

I work with a person. I won't name, you know. I have worked with a person. Yes. Who was like, immediately, one of the first interactions I had was like, hey, so if you could destroy your enemies, like, how would you do it? Do you have any rivals in this business? I was like, no, actually. Like, I get along with rivals.

Rivals, yeah. It's like, how would you destroy your rivals i'm like how would you destroy them that means they definitely have plans 100 and said if you asked me that i would say i would do the hand-to-hand knife dance from beat it well yeah well i think that you never snitch on yourself never go give away your plans that's fair right i would not do the hand-to-hand knife dance for Peter. There it is. That's the cover. McAvely. McAvely it over here. More like Snackavely. Snackavely.

Oh, man. I don't know if that's your first album, but that could be your third album. It's got to be one of the albums. We are joined today in the All Fantasy Everything studio by some auspicious guests. We have here Jason Con concepcion hello uh writer sure podcast host yourself yes personality i guess you're definitely personnel i watched the nba desktop this morning thank you very much really enjoyed it i appreciate your perusal of our wares i perused it i'm about you weren't you work for the ringer i do work for the ringer my staff right at the ringer i'm a staff writer at The Ringer.

I'm a huge fan of The Ringer. Thank you very much. It's my favorite website. We're huge fans of you. Thank you. Thank you. So that's it. That's all we were doing. I just wanted to get that out of them.

At network on Twitter. On the Twitter, which is a wonderful app that once was a wonderful app, but now it's mostly a white supremacist now. It is. It's a white supremacist networking website It is. It's a white supremacist networking website. The whole internet's really going that way though.

Yeah. There can't be that many white supremacists. That's where the money is. Follow the money. Yeah. We're being honest. That's where the money is.

That's where it is. Oh my God. They are high income motivated people. Yeah. There can't be that many white supremacists. It does feel like-

I think they're just loud. They are loud, right? They're overrepresented there. Yeah. Dumb people are really loud. Dumb people are loud. That's true. I'm loud.

I yell all the time, like in my house. They also figured out like, oh, if we don't wear the Klan hoods, if we dress, like if I put an Oxford shirt on, it's kind of rebranded ourselves. So we can kind of just like skate on by again. I yelled at a woman on the street yesterday. You yelled at a woman? Well, she yelled at me first. Okay, what happened?

I was using the crosswalk and I had the light and she was trying to turn left into the crosswalk I was using. And I was going at a normal pace. I'm a little bit of a slow walker. Okay, yeah. But she rolls down her window and goes, take your time. Oh.

I feel like she didn't mean that. I feel like what she meant was hurry up. Right. You know what? So that's a confusing part of it. Yeah, that's confusing. So I stopped. Now I got to stop.

Did she mean that? Stopped right in her path. I said, excuse me? She said, take your sweet ass time. Whoa. Now it's sweet ass time. Yeah, sweet ass time. Well, now, so I may have jumped up a level here.

That's okay. Because I yelled, I yelled, I hope you get in a car accident. And she said, fuck you. And I said, no, fuck you. And then she drove off. Yeah. Awesome. But I feel like as a yeller, that was okay.

I don't yell a lot, but- She accosted you. She accosted you. And I clapped back. Yeah. I defeated her. Also, she was in a vehicle, which is, come on. It's a power imbalance. Yeah. Right, exactly. Also, she was in a vehicle, which is, come on. It's a power imbalance.

Yeah. Right, exactly. It subverted the traditional male-female power imbalance. I'm not an X-Man. No. I can't stop a car. Right, exactly. You're a Magneto.

No, I'm not a Magneto. You're not Hitch. No, you're correct. You're not Hitch. Hitch is my favorite superhero, though. You are not Hitch. You are the Hitch. You're're not Hitch. Hitch is my favorite superhero, though. You are not Hitch. You are not Hitch. I couldn't sweet talk her into finding a romance that she's going to love the rest of her life.

Does Hancock exist in the Hitch universe? That's a great question. Here's what I'm saying. I've never seen the two in the same room. That's true. Draw your own conclusions. They might be the same guy. Oh, shit.

Hitch Hancock is his full name. I'm a yeller backer, too. I'm trying to curb that instinct, but yeah, I always... I felt bad yelling at a woman in today's times,

but I just... Yes, what with the climate. It was early, right? It was early, though. In the morning? It was 8 a.m. Also, I hope you get in a car accident.

It could be any number of things. That could be at five miles an hour rolling to a laptop. Yeah, I didn't say die. It could be a number of things. That could be at five miles an hour rolling through a laptop. Yeah, I didn't say die. It could be a little fender bend. Yeah, just her insurance rates go up. Injury might be implied.

Sure, yeah. A little whiplash. That's fine. It never hurt anybody. The inconvenience alone of having to go through the insurance companies, I feel like that's an appropriate flyback. Well, I mean, we're assuming now that they, you know, hopefully they are insured. Oh, yeah.

Ooh. Yeah. Some kind of Jeep Cherokee. I hope you're insured. Oh, I think you got insured then. Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Oh, yeah. You got it. Jeep insurance. I hope you're insured. I think you got insured there. Jeep insurance for sure. I mean, if she's driving around in a Cherokee, it's a woman of taste. Sure.

She's not all bad. Should I tell the Cherokee women out there? Cherokee women. I felt like it was a song when I said it. I'm glad you put it in. Do you have anything to plug, Jason? Anything? Check out your stuff

on The Ringer, of course. Yes, check out our stuff on The Ringer. Binge Mode is back. We've got Binge Mode podcast. We're back. We talked about Star Wars this week in a non-spoilery fashion.

Very good. I have a video game podcast called Achievement Oriented where we talk about video games. Yes. It's a video game podcast. And just check out The Ringer in general

where we put out a lot of great content. Sure. On a weekly and daily basis. Hourly. Hourly. A gift that keeps on giving. Minute by minute.

Yeah. Have you played, Marissa, what's your video game you play? Overwatch. Overwatch. I play Overwatch as well. Overwatch. I play on Xbox One. I'm sorry, but I am a support and tank main.

Lucio, you know, Lucio, just because if you're playing, everybody here has no idea now what we're talking about, but I just feel like if you. Lucio, just because if you're playing, everybody here has no idea now what we're talking about, but I just feel like if you play Lucio, you're less apt to get yelled at in chat. Everyone loves Lucio. Everyone loves Lucio, says Marissa. I spent $60 American dollars on that game. I played it for 25 minutes.

I was so lost, I haven't played it since. Just wasting $60 for 25 minutes of confusion. You donated $60 to the culture. My eyes aren't good enough for video games. There's't played it since. Just wasting $60 for 25 minutes of confusion. You donated $60 to the culture. My eyes aren't good enough for video games. There's too much going on. It takes time to get used to. I clocked out. I remember I was playing Halo. That's

how long ago I was playing video games. And I started crying. Wait, why? Because of an emotional situation? No, I was concentrating so hard. Like, it's just, it's like too much for me to look at. You probably hadn't blinked in a while. Yeah.

It was just like, and I was crying. It's too much for me. That's why I can't see 3D movies. It's the same thing. I'm not a 3D movie fan either. My eyes get tired. That's video games. It's too much for me.

I'll just say this. I was playing a competitive match of Overwatch, and the closest I think I've ever come to feeling like I understand what a playoff game was like was a 7-5 win on Numbani, Marissa. Triple overtime. My hands were shaking. I had to step away and take a walk around the block. That's exciting because I just love – I don't know what you're talking about, but I love jargon. So, like, I'm still – Young jargon fan. Young jargon so like I'm still young jargon

young jargon the other team scored on us so fast I was like alright it's over and then we scored on them so fast I was like

wait we're in this and then it just kept going back and forth and then the final round was just you're Tracy McGrady in the last it was just down

to the wire and I seriously like I had sweat coming down my hands hurt from gripping the controller it was incredible did you win we won 7-5 It was incredible. Did you win?

We won. 7-5. It was incredible. I like to picture you clutching the Xbox controller like Michael Jordan with a trophy. Sure. And then I looked around my empty apartment at my absolutely desolate life, and I was like, this is great. This is...

I'm happy. This is enough. This is enough for me. This is enough for me right now. This is enough for me. Diana. This is enough for me right now. This is enough for me, Diana. It is an achievement on the line. So make sure you check out Jay's and stuff on the ringer. David Borey.

At the G is silent. CoolGuyJokes87. CoolGuyJokes87. Do we know even when this is coming out? This will come out probably next Thursday. So next Thursday, I'll have already, you know, know i'm probably gonna pop up on some shows in colorado watch for that uh but i'm not sure follow my twitter words with friends thank you for adding me yeah holy shit did you ever like 50 friend so just 50 friend requests it's sean too because everybody i everybody I get, it's like, also plays with Sean Jordan.

People still really ride that hard for words with friends. Oh, my God, dude. And I love playing with you guys. Just know, A, totally lied about how good I was to intimidate Sean. So I'm probably going to lose to you. B, it'll take a while, but I'll get to it, man. I'm slogging through it. Thank you guys so much.

That's amazing. Yeah, I'm out here you know yeah Zach Harper that's me at Talk Hoops on Twitter

what do you want to are you also Talk Hoops on Instagram I am but it's private it's private you gotta branding yeah

you gotta really you gotta really be enticing for me to say get the Instagram access yeah set up a Patreon for it you're not getting pictures of my dog. How is Boogie doing?

He is a dick. Is he? Oh, my God. He's the worst. He's gotten into barking at any noise in the apartment. Like, it's just. It's because he's so handsome he can do that. It is.

I can't figure out if he's the cutest ugly dog or the ugliest cute dog. But it's one of those. Listen, I ride that wave and it's a mysterious. It's good to be in limbo. What's he barking at? What's the worst thing he barks at? So there is, the way my apartment complex is set up is there is a middle courtyard that has a pool. And there are two gates on each side of the pool.

So anytime he hears the gate. And you got to go through it to get the other side of the complex a murder is coming yeah pretty much yeah or like oh maybe they have food that's yeah it's one of those it's good one day one day he's gonna one day yeah you know save my life yeah you know all right your little French bullet will be swept aside by the murderer immediately. By a new precious thing. You will be alerted. I'll be alerted. I'll have just enough time to look up

as the guy is hammering me in the face. So you'll get to be terrified before you're murdered. Yeah, exactly. That's good. I won't be surprised. Which is a real gift. If you're terrified before you die, spoils the meat.

Nobody can eat you after. Meat tastes terrible then. If you murder me, please put a shirt on me and some pants. Like, make me decent after you've murdered me. Maybe some of the nice Jordans

that it looks like you didn't say that. You should leave a note. Looks like I haven't been sitting around in my underwear. Please put the Kyries on me. The Illuminati Kyries. Not the Tiffany ones.

That's going to get blood on. They'll get the red ones. That's what I want. Both of your dogs make me want to get a dog. get the red ones. That's what I want. Both of your dogs make me want to get a dog. Oh, his dog's the best. Love dogs. My dog is great.

I'm a little allergic, but I feel like it would be worth gutting it out. You have freaked me out. So I'm going up to the old Oregon next week.

Oh, are you really? Yeah. I'm going to your show. You're going to the show? I'm coming to the show. Oh, this is good news for me. My family's coming to the show. The family's coming? My parents, maybe my aunt, I don't know. Wow. They came to your show you're going to the show I'm coming to the show oh this is good my family's coming to the show the family's coming

my parents maybe my aunt I don't know wow they came to my show too his dad is great now there's pressure yeah

this is intense pressure I would have rather not known so we bought tickets at Thanksgiving and my mom legit said can you get Ian to set seats aside for us so that we can all

make sure we sit together and we have good seats I said that is asking a lot I have no I don't know that he even has control over that I don't know what you can do we can all make sure we sit together and we have good seats. I said, that is asking a lot. I don't know that he even has control over that. I don't know what you can do. We could take some seats off. They didn't get your name right. We could take some seats.

They didn't. Your family is good laughers, though, because they came to my show. They love to laugh. They're good laughers? That's important. My dad hugged David. He hugged me. He hugged him.

It was a great day. First time I meet him. I'm going to get a hug. That's all I'm going to be thinking about the whole show. Well, he'll be taped off in the VIP lab. Yeah, exactly. You know what's important is you write VIP on a piece of paper and tape it to the seats, and parents absolutely love that.

That's a good call. They go crazy for that. They're like, ooh, the CEO must have done this. But I'm driving up now because I have to take Boogie, and I don't want the scorn of one Ian Carmel if I'm going to take a dog on a flight. Oh, dogs on planes. Yeah. Yeah.

I've really – it's not one of my more popular opinions. I get it. Dogs on planes. You're out on dogs on planes. Anti-dogs on planes. Tell me why. I think the service animal thing is run amok. It was really one bad experience.

The first half of it is it's a completely selfish opinion. Sure. I'm allergic to dogs. Yes. And if I'm on a plane with a dog, the air gets recirculated. My eyes get all itchy. You're already breathing the farts. I have trouble breathing.

Right. So we've got to mix the dander in. Yeah. You know how much I hate dander. I know. From any animal. Yeah. And then the other part of it is, I was flying.

I forget what the flight was, but I was flying first class. Yeah. Because it's been a good year. It's been a good... No. I'm proud of you. I think it's been a good year. It's been a good... I think it was like a cheap upgrade. But I'm walking back to my seat in first class and there's someone sitting there

with what has to be a more than 100 pound dog. Wow. Like a big dog where you put your feet. And I'm like... It's not wearing a service vest or anything like that. I never questioned it, but I'm like, I'm allergic to dogs.

Is there any way we could like do something? And the person, both the flight attendant and the person with the 100 pound dog had like terrible attitudes about it. The dog was taking up the whole area for your feet. That's tough. So it soured me. And that feels like a greyhound. Yeah. The skies are turning into the streets. I know.

I don't like it. There's so many. I don't like it. There's so many dogs on planes now. It's like a greyhound. But look at this. Look at my. Look at this cute little dog.

I do love that today, like one of the most disrespected rules in life, laws, is just no dogs in the skies. Now it's like there is a thriving black market industry of make any dog a service dog. There really is. Yeah. It's the new legal weed. Right. It's beyond legal weed. It's just generally culturally accepted.

Is it like scoring Oxycontin where you have to go to some shady doctor in Florida? Oh, totally. It's like my dog, he helps me with my, I have psychotic episodes and I look at my dog and then it's fine. Oh, yeah, sure. You do it over Skype now. Why don't they just make an airline? Clean up that.

Oh, cut this out of the thing. This is a billion dollar idea. Everybody in this room were in on this. This is a new Uber. Marissa, cut this out. Everybody get stock. All right, I understand.

Why don't they just get a bologna sandwich? There we go. Great idea. Great idea. That'll work fine. Harper, what do you have coming up to promote?

I'm excited you're going to be in the show. Just listen to my podcast. Yeah. Talk Hoops with Zach Harper. Harper what do you have what do you have coming up to promote I'm excited you're gonna be at the show just listen to my podcast yeah Talk Hoops with Zach Harper that's me I'm a fan

thank you subscribe yeah and then the basketball friends basically just go to leveragethechat.com and subscribe to every podcast we have

and then read me on the old fanragsports.com fanragsports after going to HeadGum and subscribing to every podcast exactly yeah well I've already done that yeah yeah of course I mean we all have I've used all the promo codes On the old fanragsports.com. Ah, fanragsports. After going to HeadGum and subscribing to every podcast. Exactly. Of course, yeah. Well, I've already done that. I mean, yeah, yeah, of course.

I mean, we all have. I've used all the promo codes. We all have, yeah. Always using those. Yeah, always. My Acer laptop doesn't allow me to subscribe, but I listen. It's old school. The backspace key caught on fire last time you tried to.

I'm rocking Windows XP. This is the last podcast before my big show Revolution Hall so if you're in Portland and the 22nd come out I think there's tickets still available

come sit with my family come sit with the Harper family does this come out the day of? this comes out the day before oh cause your show's

on Friday Friday yeah so it's gonna be me Sean Jordan we're gonna have a very special guest who we can't talk about yeah it's gonna be it's gonna be a lot of fun so come out tickets still available it's gonna be Jordan. We're going to have a very special guest who we can't talk about.

Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. So come out. Tickets still available. It's going to be crazy. We're going to go out after. It's going to be great. And then other than that, I have nothing else to promote. Have a Merry Christmas. Have a holly jolly. Yeah, and I hope you had a happy Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah. Thank you very much. Yeah, what night is tonight? Tonight is four? Night four,

I think, when we're recording? Sure, that sounds right. What are the hammer gift days? There's a couple sock days, and then there's like- The first one is usually a big one, eight. But family structure are different. Right. Okay. We would only do gifts on two of the Hanukkah nights, because my mom loves Christmas so

much that we would also do Christmas. Oh, that's great. So you had three nights of presents. Christmas is way better. Really? It's not even close. better. It's not even close. It's not even close. I first wanted to say it. But what if you're in like a giant Jewish community?

I feel like Christmas is better because it's everywhere. Or like the town square has a giant menorah. That's what I'm saying. If that's the case, then it's Hanukkah. I bet you Hanukkah's comfortable. There's better Christmas songs. The corporations have gotten involved in a fun way. There's more Christmas products.

It's just a better... It's all concentrated into one day, so you can kind of get it over with. Mariah Carey's not singing about Hanukkah. No. All I want for Hanukkah is you and seven of your friends. Well, I think part of that is... And nobody's singing about... Jews have been trying to keep their heads down for a couple of millennia.

That's true. They didn't want to broadcast it too much low profile i feel like now's the time to turn it up close the door come in you think now i think turn it up oh no man about those uh it is one of the chains that you see jewish guys with the uh which ones the medallion what's the medallion oh the chair? Oh, the chai symbol? Yeah. Oh, I love it when I see a guy with that. I'm like, this guy. Popping chais? This guy's in it.

That thing resting on a bed of chest hair. It's an iconic look. A tawny bed of hair. That'll get you pregnant real quick. It's always laying right on the taco meat. Always. That might have to... It took me so long to figure out that that was taco meat.

When rappers would talk about taco meat, I'm like, what the fuck is... Oh, I thought it was something uncomfortably sexual. It's chest hair. No, it's just chest hair. Yeah. Looks good on the gold. Oh yeah.

Pops. Yeah. We should get to the podcast because I think we've been talking for half an hour. We've recorded the whole thing, but we're having a good time. Today we are drafting Michaels or Mike's. Yeah. Famous Mike's, famous Michael. This is something we've wanted to do for a long time and then it was partially inspired i forget which listener but somebody did like a 10 or 15 round draft of people named john oh which was crazy that's like

there's more johns than mikes yeah yeah There's surprisingly fewer Mikes than you think. I thought it was going to be a breeze. Yeah. And then I was like, off the top, off top, I got like three. Right. Exactly. It's very, very, very top heavy. Yeah. It's so, the first few rounds, I'm really nervous.

Yeah. There's no president's name, Mike? No. Well, let's talk about this. Yes. What about Miguel? What about Michelle? I say yes to Miguel and Michelle.

I think Miguel is in. I think Michelle is out. Whoa! You think Michelle? Yeah. I think it's no Michelle. That is not what I thought you were going to say. In this social climate?

Wait, is it a French Michelle? No, just a woman. Michelle, Michelle. You're against women. I am. Whoa! That's right. I'm coming out now.

It's never been more of a high risk, high reward. Yeah. I'm pro Latin America. You guys need to know right now, all is taco meat, so. I'm somehow wearing a shirt, but all my chest hair is out. It's the same color. I think Michelle's a no-go. I think it's got to be a hard Mike Michael Miguel.

Okay. Yeah. Wow. Changes the calculus. Yeah, yeah, Miguel. Okay. Yeah. Wow. Changes the calculus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There are women named Michael. Now, what about this?

Yes. There are women named Michael. I might be blowing a pick, but I'm going to do it just for the sake of clarity to get this hammered down. Mads Mikkelsen. It's got Michael. Mads Mikkelsen, apparently Michael. Really?

Yeah. Mikkelsens are on board? Mikson, apparently Michael. Really? Yeah. Mickelsons are on board? Mickel is apparently Michael. This is just what I've learned from the internet. Mickelson. Yeah. I would have to be an in-the-moment call. Okay.

The entire board would have to turn the key on it. As commissioner, I don't feel comfortable making a unilateral call on that. I would have to get everybody on call. You've got to get the board of governors on. Emergency call. You've got to get the Board of Governors on. An emergency call. To determine the order of the draft, we do it with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you.

I've never felt more pressure because I need the number one pick. You need the number one pick! Big time. I need it. I'm willing to pay real cash for whoever owns this thing. You're trying to buy your way up the draft? Yeah, absolutely. I'm willing to pay real cash for whoever owns this thing. You're trying to buy your way up the draft?

Yeah, absolutely. I'm buying a pick. All right. I mean, you can do that. You give Marissa $45. She'll give you the first pick. So the three of you play a game of rock, paper, scissors right now, and I'll call it, and you throw and shoot. On shoot, all right.

Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, paper. Oh, paper. Oh, it's tight. It was all paper. All right, here we go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. All paper. It's tight. It was all paper. All right, here we go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Oh, shit. What the fuck is going on? We have to go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Yes. Yes. Fuck. Wait, who won?

I just won. Oh, shit. David wins most of the rock, paper, scissors. Conspiracy. We did it, Elizabeth. We did it. Oh, man. I needed that one.

Oh, fuck. What's the order going to be? You blow it now. You're going back first. I'm going to go backwards C. My man Harper's going last. Oh, shit. You just lost $21 worth of cash on me.

Punished. I have to protect my interests. I'm definitely going first. Alright. Backwards Q. So, number one. First pick of the draft. Wait, wait, wait. What's the rest of their order? Jason. Oh, Backwards C.

Oh, I got it. I got it. I'm sorry. They can't see. I'm sorry. I forget that you guys can't see this. David, Jason, me, Zach. What's weird is from my vantage point, a backward C starts with me. Number one. Yeah. Cause I'm on the opposite side. Yeah.

And that it would be that if you won, which is tough, but I, I'm a winner in a hypothetical world. All right. With the first pick of the Michael draft, David Borey. I am going Michael Jordan, but there's a caveat. What? I want the fictional Michael Jordan portrayed in Space Jam. What?

What? I don't want gambling, shit talking, investing in prisons. That's the one. Michael Jordan. I want driving the kids of Space Jam, making fun of Bill Murray, maybe cheated on his wife with Lola Bonnie. I don't know what's happening. Here's why that's a mistake, but I respect that. Here's why that's a mistake.

Space Jam came out in 1996. Yes. You're cutting off Michael Jordan from three championships. He's only a three-time champion now. Yeah, but he's a great guy. LeBron's definitely better than you or Michael Jordan. The stats are already, he's already better than Michael Jordan. Okay, guys, this isn't what we're doing today.

This isn't what we're doing today. This isn't what we're doing today. Just shirt off, get a LeBron jersey on. The great thing about that woe is like, I think at least two of the people in this room agree. 5% agree. 5% agree? I'm in too.

We're willing to let you take the heat for that. Yeah, also. I think it's cosines across the board This is the hill I gotta die on This hill now David's driving around on a motorcycle with a guitar case full of swords Like Delonte West So you You're losing an interesting guy

Yeah But I'm getting a friend You're getting an interesting guy. Yeah. But I'm getting a friend. Well, you are. You're getting an idealized Michael Jordan. Real Michael Jordan wouldn't hang out with me. I'd like to explore this idea that you're okay with him possibly fucking a female rabbit cartoon. Lola Bunny was hot.

What? Lola Bunny was. Yeah. That was an awakening for a lot of us. Jessica Rabbit was a person. Yeah, at least she was a person. Well, I feel like that's not a rebuttal. Lola Bunny's up there. Yeah, that's true.

That's 100%. That's a good point. Lola Bunny is up there with the fox from Robin Hood in the cartoon Hot People. I just want to say that I'm looking right now at a rabbit Wikipedia and it says here the female rabbit has something called a bicornate uterus. That's what the kids

are calling it, yeah. So I don't know what that is, but I just want to put that out there. Michael Jordan does. Michael Jordan needs to be aware of that. He knows the bicornate the other word. Uterus? Uterus. Yeah, uterus. Also, it says here that the bulborithal glands are small and paired. Oh.

So whatever that means, guys. Listen, I feel like we're going too deep into it. All right. Okay. And Jessica Rabbit also had sex with a rabbit. That's true. Oh, Boston. So really, she's the Michael Jordan in this scenario.

Right. Yeah, she's the Michael Jordan of having sex with cartoon rabbits. Okay. So you're losing like yellow eyes up at 4 a.m. with Charles Oakley playing blackjack Michael Jordan. I think I'm losing the greatest game ever played. You don't even get like Jordan 11's Jordan, right? That's pre-Jordan 11's.

Listen, man. I like what I like. I want a good man. What you gain is the extendo arm. Oh, yeah. Which is impressive. And Bill Murray as a friend. And Bill Murray is a friend. And Bill Murray is a friend.

Let me just put this out there. That Michael Jordan was also a bad guy. It's just nobody really knew about it. He was still gambling then. Not in the movie. It's just you didn't know. Not in the fictional world he was. He bet on the Monstars.

He did. You know he did. Yeah, and it worked out. He bet for good. I just, yeah, I love it. I love that movie. I love that world. I love that Michael Jordan.

That's who I wanted him to be. I was a boy, you know? I wasn't ready for the evils of what Michael Jordan was. You're definitely not drafting like a man right now. Okay, all right. Well, you put me forth. That's what you get. Let's see what you get forth.

The claws come out. The beef. The beef is real. He's going to pick Mike from fucking Vons. The ballpark beef is real. Hey, he's an assistant manager now at Vons. Thank you very much. Jason Concepcion, it's time for your first pick.

Yes. Well, first I want to say that I understand that this person that I am about to select has certain personal issues which have been alleged but which there are a wide array of charges which I assume to be legitimate. Why would they lie?

Why would anybody lie about this? That said, Michael Jackson wrote great songs. Oh, okay. He wrote great songs. Thr! Okay, he wrote great songs. He wrote great songs. Yes. You know, Thriller is an excellent album. Incredible.

Are they allegations if he paid off the family? That's my question. I don't know the legalities of it. I am not personally a lawyer. Okay. Yes, you're a lawyer. I'm a lawyer. Give yourself some credit.

In-house counsel for the ringer, we know. And I will say that I respect the allegations. I respect what's been put out there. Sure. Beat It is a good song. It's a great song. Thriller is a great video. Yeah.

Great video. Man in the Mirror. Man in the Mirror. Man in the Mirror. Made me cry. Written by Glenn Ballard. And also, as far as that alleged thing, a great man said, if I say you sleep with sheep, then it is alleged that you sleep with sheep.

I could just say it. Shout out to Nick Delty. All right. Can I just say the moonwalk also? Let's not forget about the moonwalk. So we're talking caveat. It's there the whole time. You should have picked him just from a specific video where he didn't molest children.

I feel like that was just making fun of me. You're willing to take the allegations and blame it on the boogie. That's what you're willing to do right now. Don't blame it. He's not going to blame it on the good times. I'm saying the allegations, I am setting aside the allegations.

I am acknowledging that they exist. I am acknowledging all the weird stuff with the remote control alarm in his bedroom. All that stuff. Sure. It happened. To quote Dave Chappelle, Allegedly.. All that stuff. Sure. That happened. To quote Dave Chappelle, he made Thriller. That said,

he did make Thriller. The waters of history are very murky. His moonwalk, that whole performance at the Motown 50 or whatever it was, oh my god. How do you even invent the moonwalk? How do you even do that? How do you look at your feet on the ground and you say, no, what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna start doing this shit. That had to be something where he was like walking backwards in a living room,

tripped over like a barbell or something and just like kind of slid. It was like, oh. He was so naturally graceful. I don't think Michael Jackson's ever tripped in his life. Whoa. I think he was that smooth. Also, the smooth where he like does the lean and things. I still want to believe that's not CGI.

Watch that Motown 50 clip on YouTube. When he does it, people are so stunned. There's no sound for it. People are just like, what? It was Vince Carter's elbow dunk. That's what that was. Just silence the crowd. Everyone was just so shook by it.

Man, Michael Jackson is a good pick. Even late Michael Jackson, some of that music is good. Oh, man. They don't care about us? Yeah. Real, real late Michael Jackson? Scream. Scream, that video.

The dance section in the video of Scream is incredible. Yeah. And he pushed technology forward with his videos. He did, yeah. The black or white video, the end of that, that was a major thing. That's true. He pushed everything. And the Scream video, huge technological. the black or white video the end of that that was like a major thing that's true like he pushed he pushed everything

and the screen video huge like technological and to be fair he elevated the problem of pedophilia to a national concern he did

and now we all understand that you know he made it a problem people understood it was a problem you say you're not a lawyer that was some lawyer shit

right there I just want to put I'm covering all my bases that was some real lawyer shit right there I just want to put I just like I'm covering all my bases yeah that was some real lawyer shit right there again the allegations these are allegations

I don't want to mention they are they're allegations the family was paid off uh significant sums I did 50 that man was going I mean

anything anything you say is gonna sound like defending it he must he must have been tortured as a kid yeah Joe Jackson was a

monster Joe wasn't great Joe was not a good I feel comfortable kid. Yeah. Joe Jackson was a monster. Joe wasn't great. Joe was not a good guy. I feel comfortable going on record. Joe Jackson, not great. Aren't they from Peoria? They're from Gary, Indiana. Gary, Indiana.

Isn't that Zeebo country? That's like Zeebo country. That's like Freddie Gibbs country. Yeah. It's bleak. It's bleak. It's bleak out there. Gary.

That's not even coming from a town named Gary. That's not even a cool name to be known. That's not even coming from a town named Gary. That's not even a cool name to be It's not even a great name. It's not even a

great name. It spells great. It's like Zardos, Indiana or anything like that. It's like what? How is the town named?

It's just Gary. Yeah, it's this dude there. Gary found it. Oh, Gary had a mansion? No, it's just a one bedroom.

It's just a guy named Gary. A man named Gary built a town in his image. Bleak. Michael Jackson is, I mean, it's an amazing Michael. It is time for my first pick, unless there are any further thoughts on the King of Pop.

God, so those were the big two, huh? Yeah. God damn. Those were really the big two, huh? Yeah. God damn. Those were really the big two. That's the first time I've ever heard you maybe at a loss for words. It's in the first round. It is a top heavy draft. Not since realizing you picked Grape Nuts have you been this dumbfounded.

Stand by my Grape Nuts pick. I shouldn't have picked it first, maybe. I was wiling out. I was recovering. We were all burning on the first. Yeah. I was Tiffany for God's sake. Oh.

What a time. Yeah, that was crazy. That was a crazy one. I'll just talk about it. Okay. With my first pick. God damn. I get.

I got my fingers crossed here. I'm one pick away. I have to take. This man has been a theme in my drafts lately, so I have to keep showing him the love. Is this? I got to take my doobie brother. Oh!

Michael McDonald. Oh, I made it! I fucking made it! Oh, my God! Michael McDonald. I fucking made it! I can't do that! Oh, man.

Michael McDonald, not in the studio. That is Jason. No, Jason. Michael McDonald, not in the studio. That is Jason. Just to remind you. You're my only. Here's to you. Gotta take my boy. As seen on, what was he on? First.

Fallon. Yeah. Playing Thundercat. Has a song with Michael Bolton and Michael McDonald. Oh, shit. Well, I said another Michael. Or no, Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald.ald yeah and he just so much beard so much beer that is a heavy probably smelly performance

that beard hasn't been washed in years i don't feel like white beards smell oh i don't know why oh they smell well is it because you think they would go yellow like what's with the yellow beards when you see that? Is that just somebody being gross, or is that just, like, the way certain people go gray? Well, that's what I feel about the white beard is if you let it, it would show dingy really easy. Right? Like, if it got gross, it would yellow. And that's a sparkly white beard.

That is a sparkly white beard. I bet Michael McDonald's beard smells good. I bet it smells like. Yeah. That guy smells good. It might be a reverse Just For Men situation, though, where he's going gray. He's combing the gray in. He's going white, yeah.

Oh, you think so? I think so. Oof. I just feel like he's got a regimen, like some kind of bearings or something. Michael McDonald did not come back into the studio. He's never here. It's Jason. He sounds like a funky ghost.

He does. Michael McDonald sings like a funky ghost. He does. He sings like a, Michael McDonald sings like a funky ghost, and I love that about him. Casper can croon. Woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, He just fucking, I mean, he would play with Steely Dan. Yeah,

man. Yeah. Doobie Brothers yeah pretty good solo career yeah the guy can the guy can fucking

belt it out he's got a great voice I feel like they named the genre of blue eyed soul after him 100% yeah he's a blue eyed man

yeah yeah and he's got a soulful voice and as far as I know no gambling problems that's right nope you know

and no sexual misconduct allegations as far as we know as far as we know That's right. Nope. You know, and no sexual misconduct allegations as far as we know. As far as we know. He's clean. Yeah. It's a, you know, I got a, the man has won some Grammys, I assume. Let me look into that. Has Michael McDonald won the-

Oh, he's Grammy'd up. Oh, he's got it. He's Grammy'd up. Has to. If he has not won a Grammy, then he needs a lifetime Grammy. Yeah. This is like Jerry Sloan not winning coach of the year. Oh, our boy's got three of them.

Okay. Yeah. Of course. One of them. What are you going for? Best R&B performance for Yamo Be There. It's a great song, though. Of course.

I want to know what else was up that year, though. Oh, my God. I do want to know that. Somewhere there is. Wait, is that song actually called Yamo Be There? Y-A-H-M-O- there i did i thought that was just how you said it because you sang it no yamo actually called yamo and then he's got and then he's got two for what a fool believes which are well deserved he wrote down yamo be there yamo be there what do

you want to call it oh man that's so funny i had a i went to music school i had a friend that um um played piano at music school and i remember one day she just unleashed what a fool believes like the piano intro on a piano and it's like the energy that went through my body was it's an immediate it's an immediate it's just like when you're in the room with that it's amazing yeah yeah mich what a guy right this is not a strong strong list of nominees oh you got the feel oh okay

1985 okay Harper come in come in with your game changer your advanced statistics Joyce Kennedy and Jeffrey Osborne

for the last time I made love that's maybe my favorite song so I don't even we're already off to a bad start Jermaine Jackson Michael Jackson tell me I'm not dreaming

too good to be true okay yeah that's not a good song. Kashif, Al Jarreau, Edgar Towne Groove. Al Jarreau? Yeah. And Shalimar, Dancing in the Sheets. Well, Shalimar.

You got Michael Jackson, you got Shalimar. But those were... That's not Michael Jackson. But it's not their stuff. It's Michael and Jermaine. That doesn't even... That's like... That's like... That's like...

One of the highest scoring duos. LeBron and Sasha Pavlovich. It's like eating steak and french fries. It doesn't taint Yamo Be There's Grammy. Yeah, it doesn't. I like to think somewhere in a house with impeccable linens that probably smells like clean laundry all the time, there's a Grammy that says Yamo Be There etched into it.

And Michael McDonald's probably third house. That's where I like to think it is. Yeah. He keeps it by the beach. Marin County. Hell yeah. Marin County. Yeah.

Yeah, right? I can see. That's a very, you wear a lot of cream if you live in Marin. A lot of cream. Hell yeah. Cream city. He's a creamy guy. Oh, he's way creamy.

Michael McDonald's creamy. My man gets creamy. How do you make creamy? He's the type of guy who could be like, Yamo be there, put my kids through college. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. He would tell you. He would tell you.

A lot of people make fun of me. I'm going to be there. Buy me this house, put my kids through college. I like that he talks like Aaron Neville. He sounds like a Muppet doing an Adam Sandler impersonation. Michael McDonald's voice is like Cyclops from the X-Men. If he's not holding it back, it's such a powerful duel that he has to hold it back somehow. He wears a suppressor.

Yeah. How could he ever just order breakfast in a normal way? I'll take a breakfast burrito with some risotto. Another man, you said, no sustitutes. But I'm allergic to poppy seeds. Yeah, man. Michael McDonald, my number one pick. But I really want to hear.

I want to hear this game changer. You know what happened? I got the fourth pick and I got my number one on the board. No way. That's crazy. It wasn't Michael Jackson. I want to hear this game changer. You know what happened? I got the fourth pick and I got my number one on the board. No way. That's crazy. It wasn't Michael Jackson. It wasn't Space Jam Michael Jordan by any means.

I like elitism. I like speed and power. I like dominance. Michael Johnson? You know who I like? Why did I just say that? What did you say? Sorry. It's not the name you just dropped there.

The year is 2004. Okay. This is a pixelated god. Pixelated? This is Madden NFL 2004 Mike Vick. Oh! Oh, shit! That's...

Shit! That is so good! That's a good pick. He was so good on that game. He was dominant. Oh, fuck. You couldn't do any... You could have all 11 guys going after him.

He was running 80 yards any direction. You could run... throw off your back foot running backwards to a streaking Roddy White? Who would even be... I think Andre Rison came back. Bad Moon Rison. He actually was throwing to himself.

He was also the receiver and he got under it. It was just always a powerade commercial. He's one of those, along with Tecmo Bull Bull Jackson, where you had to be like, look, you can't be the Falcons. I'm sorry. It was like people were cheating when they would play. Like, really?

You're going to be the fucking Falcons? Yeah. Like, come on, man. Cool. Because you would just do, what would you, you do the four wide receiver spread out shotgun. And you do a rollout. Yeah. You automatically roll out of the pocket.

Yeah. That's where you live. You don't dance in the pocket. No, no, no. The pocket's not for you no you walked he was unfair he was absolutely unfair faster than everyone like you just if you decided i'm gonna tuck it you could go you could cut up the field in any direction you knew you were avoiding anyone yeah yeah because that was that juke stick era that was juke you could you could go side to side with yeah yeah how does how do you feel about the fact that your video game version of Mike Vick was probably torturing

like the duck hunt dog? When you didn't have the game in. Like something like that was happening. You know what? That dog was a dick. He was a dick. Yeah, that dog. That dog's always taunting you.

He was just doing his job. No, his job wasn't to taunt you. Well... His job was to go collect that duck. If you didn't get the duck, he's like, hey, fuck you, guy. I like a dog with personality. See? I know I'm shooting blanks.

I don't need a dog reminding me. Supposed to be your best friend. Not my best friend at all. Supposed to be your best friend. Didn't have your back at all. No. You know what? I'm not.

I'll come out and say it. I'm anti-dog torturing. Oh, go on. Okay. I'm anti-dog torturing. Oh, go on. Okay. I'm anti-dog torturing. Two hot takes on the same podcast. Controversial stance. But that pixelated dog?

Yeah. Torture him all day. Fuck that. Wow. Jack Bauer him. Whoa. You want to hit him with a 24? Was that too much?

No. Hey, listen. I'm down to ride. All right. I had a lot of anger at that dog. A lot. What happened with that new 24? It just didn't work, right?

I didn't watch the old one. It seemed like too much for me. I watched the old one, but I had no idea that it was like this super jingoistic. Right. Neoconservative. Right. I was just like, get him, Jack. Get him, Kiefer.

And then why is Elisha Cuthbert in the woods? That was my other thing. Yeah. She was a frustrating character. Not her fault. Elisha Cuthbert in the woods? That was my other thing. Yeah. She was a frustrating character. Not her fault. Elisha Cuthbert of Girl Next Door fame? Yeah. Yes.

Okay. She played Jack Bauer's daughter, Kiefer Sutherland's daughter. I had no idea. Oh, yeah. Good for her. In 24, dating hockey players in the Girl Next Door. Girl Next Door. She had a hot run.

Big life. Good run. Hot run. Madden 2005. He's one of the most unfair. That's a great pick. Big life, good run. Hot run. Madden 2005. He's one of the most unfair. That's a great pick. Playing him was like playing Battletoads. Like playing against him where you're just like so frustrated the whole time.

You're like, fuck! Fucking suck! Now, I was worried that if someone took Mike Vick, the real Mike Vick, that I wouldn't get the pixelated version. I think you could kind of. No, you couldn't. I don't think you could. I don't think Ian would have allowed it.

No, because I can't take like real world michael jordan now right exactly even though i find him a more intriguing uh perhaps intriguing is not positive wounded hero i'm about unity all right all right all right uh so 2004 madden mike vick your first pick yeah your second pick um oh okay this one comes with some controversy okay we're talking this is the 80s version i'm not getting into 1991 and the problems that came after that oh wow a lot of problematic michaels i'm not getting into this i'm not getting into the face tattoo i'm taking 1980s mike tyson whoa like coming out still alive yep exactly out there, beating people in eight seconds. When he was like 19.

Yeah, 19. Just a boy. Yeah, saying he just wanted to destroy everyone. He came out there. He didn't need music. He didn't need hype. He just came out there and wrecked people. He was so scary.

Yeah, he was terrifying. He is, in the 80s, very terrifying. He looked like a street shark. Yeah. And getting hit by him looked like a street shark. And it looked like getting hit by him looked like a shark attack happened. It did. It was violent and it was fast.

People get hit by him, fall down, and then stand up and fall down again. It's like they got phantom hit. They were reacting from the first punch. Then they got up and fell the second punch. It is first 28 fights. 26 by knockout or TKO 16 of those in the first round

damn he wasn't even working for 3 minutes he didn't even have to be in shape he could have been a butterbeam yeah and just fucking smoked people when he came on that half shirt oh yeah the half shirt and when you heard his voice it just made him

scary but in the 80s it felt not scary I think Oh yeah, the half shirt? The cut off? Yeah. And then when you heard his voice, it just made him scary. It's like Bane. But in the 80s, it felt not scary. I think before Customato, Customato doesn't die. Yeah. I feel like Mike Tyson's legacy is very different. Way different career for him. His prime, the greatest of all time, and I'm a huge Muhammad Ali guy, but I don't think

you can go against a guy who destroyed everyone in the first round. Right. And you're talking like a guy, like you're talking him and the Catskills. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay. I understand. Pigeon Mike. Up at Gotham. He had that low center of gravity. Yeah. He's fighting these huge guys where you just come in under those punches and then boom, boom.

So much power. He was the first video game boxer. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Super punch out. We'd be remiss if we didn't mention the so much power he was the first he was the first video game boxer yeah oh yeah yeah super punch out we'd be remiss if we didn't if we didn't mention the uh

the terrible the terrible allegations that's why I'm no they weren't allegations pre-crime I mean he went to jail the sexual assault

he went to prison yeah so we can actually call them we can actually say that he did it his written there's no like

oh well maybe he paid off the no he actually he then later threatened to do it to a reporter here's what i'm hoping okay that it didn't happen in the 80s i don't think because he was so busy training in the cat skills right well and cut with cuss cuss cuss never allowed that shit to happen cusses i think cusses cuss because he went crazy it was like if your dad died or something. Right. People's parents die and they go nuts.

Yeah. Cuss was like the only one who loved him. Bruce Wayne became Batman. Became Batman. Yeah. Mike Tyson, probably the opposite of Batman. Oh, he was definitely not a vigilante in any good way. Yeah.

He was more like a mercenary. Right. He was like a soldier of fortune. Yeah. What did he, didn't he like beat up a kid who stole his bike? Like that was his kind was his origin story? No, the kid killed his pigeons. Oh, that's what it is.

Love those pigeons. They killed his pigeons, and he was like, but you can't, because he's like a soft-spoken boy. Yeah, then he flipped out on him. All right, Mike Tyson. 1980s Mike Tyson. 1980s, specifically Mike Tyson. I understand.

He was terrifying. I'm not comfortable talking about him right now. I think he's on the West Coast. He's either in Vegas or in LA. He could be close right now. Someone talking about me? I hear the burning. I hear it.

Just so you know, Mike, in case you listen to this, I did not do an impression. No, neither did I. I will go see Hangover 4. Who was that that did that and then left the studio? It was. Somebody ran in. Yeah. It was Donald Trump.

It was. Yeah. Go find him. Go get him, Mike. Go get him. What a redemption arc that would be for him. Yeah. It doesn't excuse what's happened in the past.

I give up all my earthly possessions to watch Mike Tyson punch Donald Trump. Like, everything I've ever owned. Oh, my God. Here's my earning potential for the next five years. 100,000%. I would say 10% of my income for the rest of my life they could just take.

And I don't even mean a bunch of times. I mean once. Once. Just like one, but bare-knuckled. That's all it would... I feel like that's what it would take. Yeah. All right, Mike bare knuckled. That's all it would, I feel like that's what it would take. Yeah. All right, Mike Tyson.

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All right. I got to clarify that. As much as possible. Yeah. 1980s Michael Tyson. By the way, when looking up different Mikes and Michaels to take, did the word Michael stop making sense to anyone else? Yeah.

It's a strange sounding name. It's a weird name. I don't think it's spelled correctly in any form. I also, yeah, I have a problem with the A and the E. The A and the E thing is. Yeah, it messes me up. It's crazy that there's a mainstream name with an A-E combo like that in it. Mike A. Eel.

Mike A. Eel. Mike A. Eel. All right, so with my second pick, I'm going back to the 80s too but I'm taking this person's whole career because again not a problematic individual so joining me on my yacht with Michael McDonald Michael J. Fox

that's a good name star of the Back to the Future movies star of Spin City which I will go to the mat for that was a good show Spin City is great Carla Gugino or I will go to the mat for. That was a good show. Yeah, Spin City is great. Carla Gugino, or however you say her name. That was the love interest.

Yeah, that's right. Big fan of her. Big fan. Gugino, yeah. Beautiful. Gugino. Beautiful Italian. Yeah, Michael J. Fox.

Funny. That was not. Beautiful. Just a beautiful Italian. There it is. There it is. I didn't do it right. Now the taco meets out.

Beautiful Italian woman. Love to see an Italian woman doing well. Has didn't do it right. Now the taco meets out. Beautiful Italian woman. Love to see an Italian woman doing well. Silk shorts on right now. Silk everything. Wait, are silk shorts a thing you can get? Is it? You just fucking changed David's whole weekend. I think you changed my 2018.

Things are looking up. Wait a second. I got to Google some shit. Teen Wolf yeah Teen Wolf Family Ties one of the great basketball movies

one of the great basketball movies I loved him in Family Ties too Alex B. Keaton if I can throw if I can throw a movie out there that I really Doc Hollywood Doc Hollywood

I really enjoy Doc Hollywood yeah yeah yeah that's a fun movie it's fun to appreciate small town living absolutely the dude and the dude

like even he didn't really miss Secret of My Success I don't know if I miss. Secret of My Success? I don't know if I've seen Secret of My Success. Oh, my God. Yeah, he wasn't. In the season of Curb that he was on. That's what I was about to bring up.

That is so funny. Great on that season of Curb. With Parkinson's. With Parkinson's. Yeah, full blown. An important part of the plot. Yeah. Yeah.

They wrote it right up. He's just a legend. The Back to the Future movie is timeless. Also brought back the shoes with Nike. The bags. Oh. Secretly, Michael J. Fox, between Teen Wolf and the Air Mags, secretly a real hype beast individual.

Yeah? Yeah. True to the culture that we so much adore. I love it. Michael J. Fox. Also an amazing what if. If he didn't get Parkinson's. I don't think that would have,

I don't think that ship would have ever slowed down. What's the later career? They never would have. I think it would have just kept. Because he was on Spin City when that happened, right? When he started coming down with it. I think. Yeah, he was huge.

From an early age, too. We knew him since he was a kid. How old was he on Family Ties? He was a kid. He was a kid. Because I remember on the. Was he a conservative on that show? Yeah, he was a kid how old was he on family ties he was a kid he was a kid because i remember was he a conservative on that show yeah he was like a young reagan right yeah because the parents were hippies yeah that was his whole i remember watching his eat true hollywood story and i'm probably gonna fuck this up but i just remember this he was so broke when he got

family ties that he didn't have a phone in his apartment, so he was just hanging out at the payphone across the street waiting for the call. Waiting for them to call? Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's something like that. Damn. Yeah, he was...

Because he's Canadian. He is? Yeah. One of our great Canadians. Yeah. Shout out to Marissa. Huh? So many great Canadians.

So many great Canadians. Very good people. Yeah. We should draft Canadians once. 200 round draft. Yeah. That's how long it would have to be. 50 people drafting. I love poutine. I also love poutine. I love draft. Yeah. That's how long it would have to be. 50 people drafting.

I love poutine. I also love poutine. I love that. I'm sorry, Vladimir Putin? Vladimir Putin, yeah. What's that meat that they have in Montreal? What do they call this? You know what I'm talking about?

What are you talking about? They had it at the party at Montreal. Oh, the smoked meat in Montreal. Yes. It looks like pastrami, right? Yeah, but it's called, they got a word for it. It might just be a French word. There's that one deli in Montreal that's really good.

Yeah, I don't know. I went to a party and they had it there, and I was like, this is good meat. Yeah, the Montreal-style smoked meat, Schwartz's is a really good deli. I don't know. There was a name for it. It was like loose-leaf meat or something. don't know. There was a name for it. It was like loose leaf meat or something. It looks amazing. It's a loose meat situation.

Yeah, I like loose meat. It's delish. It's delish-losh. I like a lot of pieces. Yeah, Michael J. Fox. That is a solid pick. One of the greats. Good one.

People think that it's – I don't even know if I should go down. That like cocaine use is linked to Parkinson's later in life. Oh, so a lot of these people who were like really partying in the eighties, I mean, you can't hold that against them. No, I was the eighties.

Also the eighties, they mailed cocaine to your house. Right. Exactly. It was part of written into his contract. It came with the shooter too. Yeah. It came with the penny saver.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a bold thing to say. I'm going to say it. A lot of cool dudes do coke. A lot of cool dudes do coke. I said it. I don't know, man. I just, that's where I'm at. Yeah. It's a bold thing to say. I'm going to say it. A lot of cool dudes do coke. A lot of cool dudes do coke. I said it. I don't know, man.

That's where I'm at. Whoa. A lot of great dudes have done some coke. A lot of great dudes have done coke. A lot of great dudes. A lot of great ladies have done coke. A lot of great ladies have done coke. A lot of cool people have done coke.

Some real takes today. Kind of people who want to be up until four because they have a lot to say and think about. Yeah. They want to smoke cigarettes and tell you about their entire life. Right. Exactly. They want to get jittery and have their jaw locked. Take two shits for no reason.

Oh, my God. I hope my mom didn't listen to this. They're listening. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Yeah, shout out to Sarah's boy. Jason, it's time for your second pick. Okay, I'm going to time travel as well. I'm going to take us back to the year 2013.

All right. 2015. 2013. 13. 13, when one of our great actors, Michael Douglas, who at that point was struggling with esophageal cancer, normally linked with cigarette smoke, normally linked with cigarettes and other things like drinking.

No. Not Michael Douglas' case of cancer. Well, I can only assume that it was a hereditary thing. Right. No, no, no, no. No? In an interview with The Guardian, Michael was asked, so this cancer is obviously very serious. What do you think brought it about?

Was it the drinking? Was it the smoking? Cigars? No, no no no he said and i quote no without wanting to get too specific this particular cancer is caused by hpv which actually comes from cunnilingus in other words michael douglas oh man got cancer from eating pussy amazing what a crazy wait what part of that wasn't specific? He said, I don't want to get too specific. Without getting too specific.

I got cancer from eating a lot of pussy. I guess it didn't name names, but... And it's just an incredible flex from an incredible actor who just wanted to let us know that, number one, he's a giving lover. He's a giving lover. Incredibly. He's so giving that he got cancer.

And he's still alive, by the way. Beat the cancer. Beat it. And I'm just proud of him. So it's eating pussy era Michael Douglas who got cancer from it, but he's still alive. And you get the whole career leading up to that. You get the whole career. You get all that stuff.

Everything up until behind the candelabra. Yeah, everything. Which I will ride for as well. Everything up until behind the candelabra. Yeah, everything. Which I will ride for as well. Absolutely. I love the game. The game is great. What's the one where Dave Fincher

with Gwyneth Paltrow. The murder one. Yeah, where he like tries to murder her and then she's like hip to it. A perfect murder? A perfect murder, yeah.

With Viggo Mortensen. Viggo Mortensen, yeah, exactly. Viggo. And little did he know when Michael was making that movie that all the vagina that he had pleasured was causing cancer to form in his throat at that time. If only he had known.

Oh my God. The cunnilingus that did it might have been performed during the filming of that movie. Who knows? There's no way to know because there's literally tens of thousands of specific instances. It is such an interesting flag.

It's a great flag. Not only that, but there's no scientific proof. I researched this. So many women, you call them Wilt Chamberlick. Is that no good? That was so bad. Wilt Chamberlick. There's no scientific.

That's a lot. That's a lot, guys. So come on. There's no scientific. I just want to say there's no scientific proof that HPV can transfer to the esophagus in that way. But I'm willing to believe it because of just a great, it's a great flex. Why would you ever lie about that? Do you think he came up with it or do you think his doctor, when you're a rich, famous actor, you just get cool doctors like that? I know, right? We're like, bro, could only be one thing, dude. would you just get cool doctors like that?

We're like, bro, could only be one thing, dude. It's like, I need two vials of morphine and also, like, could I have gotten cancer from eating vagina? Can't rule it out. What if the only reason he thinks that is because it came up on WebMD? Oh, yeah, that was a self-diagnosis. 100%. He totally was like, oh, I got cancer. Well, you know how I probably got it

anything I want to start attributing anything bad in my life to just like my giving tendencies you know what I mean you got gout

because you give to charity I got gout right exactly all that money I gave to Planned Parenthood eventually led to this gout yeah that's the problem

I was trying to have a less rich diet you know that's why I made the donations the American President is a great movie yeah i love that one yeah yeah michael douglas what a fucking flight that is the gordon gecko

gordon gecko yeah yeah he's good that movie's crazy incredible strength in his jaw oh like a great white shark yeah shoes on birchwood birch wood. Yeah. Yeah. Hollywood royalty too, right? Son of Kirk Douglas? Absolutely. Yeah. Who's still alive somehow? What? The gene pool of that family is incredible. That's a resilient gene pool.

Yes. Yeah. He's 130 years old. There's no way he's still alive. He's alive. What? Well, that makes sense because Emilio Estevez is 80. That's the other family.

Is that a different family? Oh, that's the genes. I just- But he is 80. Sorry, guys.. I just... But he is 80. Sorry, guys. I got you. But he is 80. Shout out to the Mighty Ducks.

Shout out to Goldberg. Shout out to Goldberg in a big way. He listens. Michael Douglas might be pleasuring Catherine Zeta-Jones right now. I hope so. Orally. Yeah. For sure.

100% orally. That's the thing, is he went back to the well. Did he cut you out? It didn't scare him off. It didn't scare him off at all. No. He was like, you know what? I'm going to keep doing it.

What are the odds that you're going to get cancer twice in that way? That's what I'm saying. It's double jeopardy. If anybody did it, it would be him. That's the mouse going back to the electrocuted cheese. That's what that is. That cheese is electric. Catherine Zeta-Jones is the electric cheese.

Catherine Zeta-Jones is the most stress-free individual. She just walks around like, whew. Yeah. Everything's hunky-dory. Yeah, everything's really good. Now I'm just imagining, like, Michael Douglas in a doctor's office, and they're telling him he has cancer again, and he says, well, doc, that cheese is electric.

Oh, man. Electric cheese. Great pick. Great pick, Michael Douglas. Electric cheese. Great pick. Great pick, Michael Douglas. Fantastic pick. David, it's time for your second and then your third pick, as it is a serpentine draft. What type of draft is it? Serpentine draft.

And what does that mean? Okay, so it means if you have the fourth pick in one round, you have the first pick in the next round. So kind of picture. Paint a picture for me. Yeah, Sean usually does this. I'll try to paint this picture, though. Oh, here we go. So kind of picture. Paint a picture for me. Yeah. Sean usually does this. I'll try to paint this picture though. So imagine there are two women sitting in a hotel room. Okay.

And Michael Douglas has decided to really test out his jaw. He got one of those. It's one king size or two doubles. Right. So he got a double bag. Yeah. The two doubles. And he's just going, he goes to one woman and pleasures her orally.

Right. And then goes to the other woman and pleasures her orally. Twice though. And then goes, yeah, he does it twice. And And then goes to the other woman and pleasures her orally. Twice, though. Yeah, he does it twice. And then goes back to the other woman for another two-bagger. Quattro. Yeah.

So it's just going. Serpentine draft. Serpentine draft. That's how that's defined. Multiple orgasms. Back-to-back screaming O's. David Borey, time for your second and then your third picks. Okay, so my second pick, another, okay. Ooh, I don't know if I want to go fictional or real.

Let's go, I'm going to go another fictional guy. I just, in both the first iteration and the second iteration of what he was in, I just appreciate this man's ambition, his dedication to friendship, and the love of the game, I'm going with Michael Squints Palidorus from the Sandlot. He kissed Wendy Peffercorn, and he grew up to coach the team with Benny that won back the Sandlot. That's Sandlot, too.

I don't know if a lot of people are into that. I'm into that. Squints Palidorus. I once got drunk at a party in Long Beach with Benny the Jet Rodriguez, who was a firefighter, I believe, in Long Beach or somewhere nearby. Of course he was.

This was like 15, 16 years ago. It was a great time. You know the crazy thing? I don't know if you're talking about the actor, the real Benny the Jet Rodriguez. Because those both could be how that ended up for you. Right. No. it was the actor. That guy was great. Hey, did the song Benny and the Jets come out

when the movie The Sandlot is set? No, I don't think that's... Oh, when the movie The Sandlot is set, maybe. Oh, wait. When it was set? I don't know. No, it was set in the 50s. That's like a 70s song.

And they're still trying to get Benny and the Jets past the goalie? Was Benny and the Jets a thing? No. Because he was Benny the Jet, right? He was just Benny the the Jets a thing? No. Because he was Benny the Jet. He was just Benny the Jet. Yeah. He was quick.

Because he was quick. He was so fast. Couldn't catch him in a pipper. And then he put on the PF Flyers. Yeah. Squints, though. That kid. Squints was all heart.

Yeah. He looked dumb, and he was so cool. Yeah. He wore that backwards hat. He told it like it is. He's calling everyone a loser. He calls everybody a loser. Yeah.

And then when it comes time to nut up, he kissed Wendy Peffricorn. Secured the back. Yeah. He secured the back. Oh, my God. Squints has got, it's just like, oh, man. A hubris of youth. She was angry, but then she was like, you know what?

They got married later. You know what the great thing about a movie kid with glasses is then you have the move where you take off the glasses. Oh, yeah. Which is a whole other level of move. And you just look like a creepy. His face looks so weird. He looks like a peeled grape. His face is so weird.

Oh, God. He was. Yeah. I just like every time I think about that guy, I get happy. Every time I see him anywhere, I get happy. He's a hero. Yeah, I love him. So yeah, Michael squints Palidorus for my second.

Squints Palidorus. Yeah. It's hard. You can't think about him without smiling. And just that like the Wendy Peffercorn, obviously sexually, not the way to do things, not the way you should go about, but the spirit of going for it is what I appreciate. Shoot your shot. I'm not saying to fake your own death to kiss women, obviously bad call. Right.

He was a kid. He didn't know how to make moves yet. True. But he went for it, and I just love him, man. The actor's real name is Chauncey Leopardi. What? Yeah. That's a crazy name.

That's a dude who looks like a peeled grape. He acted throughout the 90s. He was on Freaks and Geeks. Really? But now he's not really doing anything. Yeah. Doesn't matter. There's this article about where the Sandlot kids are now.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's going nuts. Mike Vitar was the guy who played Benny the Jet Rodriguez. Everyone just called him Benny the Jet that night. Yeah, he's a firefighter with the LAFD. I could not call him Benny the Jet. I bet you he's on

a firefighter calendar. Is it weird I would get a Benny the Jet? I would get his fireman's calendar? No, I just, I hope he has an axe on one shoulder

and a baseball bat on the other. Oh my God. Yeah. I hope he has a tattoo somewhere discreet that says the Jet. He was so convincing

as like a, as the good baseball player. I was like, he's definitely going to become an actual baseball player. Yeah. Oh, and then who played him as an adult? Was it like Raphael Palmeiro or somebody?

Remember at the very end, there was like a grown. Oh yeah. Remember? I don't think it was. I don't think it was Raphael Palmeiro. It was like, just like a thick Latin man with thick.

Anyways, but that's, but that's Benny. I'm a squints guy. I'm team squints all year. Team squints. He stayed home. He started a pharmacy. Yeah.

He married Wendy Peppercorn. He stayed true to his roots. He's like hood legend, man. I love him. I love him. I love him. Excellent pick. With your third pick, joining Space Dream Michael Jordan and Michael's first kind of

Doris. This is interesting. This is a weird move. My third pick, not a man so much, is a chain of craft stores. What? What? Shout out to Michael's. Helped me make fucking volcanoes for science fair.

Fucking all kinds. Model cars. True. All kinds kinds. Model cars. True. All kinds of shit growing up. Serving the community. The pipe printer plug. The pipe printer plug. The hot glue gun plug.

Yeah, the hot glue. Oh, they got hot glue by the pound. Those weird styrofoam balls that nobody knows. What are those for? Yeah, what are those? What do you do with those? What do you do with those? I think that's like a-

It can't just be planets. Yeah. No, I think that's what it is. I think it's strictly planets. Is it just purely planets? Yeah. Is it only planets? Here's a solar system. Wow. It can't just be that, but, I think that's what it is. Is it just purely planets? Is it only planets? Here's a solar system. It can't just be that, but what else would it even be for?

I don't know. Imagine owning that corner. What a crazy patent to have. I make the styrofoam balls for planets. That's it. We are the number one styrofoam ball company. The guy owns a castle in Scotland. It's just, I can't imagine what else.

I mean, it's all arts and crafts stuff, but what would be even another thing? I bet you if you contacted this company, they have an entire brochure. They must have. Yeah, yeah. More than just for planets. Like, have you considered cutting it in half and showing the inside of a planet? Oh. They're all still other planets.

What about a fictional planet? You can make Kashyyyk. That's right. Yeah. Make the Death Star. What about a fictional planet? You can make Kashyyyk. That's right. Yeah. With a, yeah, make the Death Star. What about Snowmen? Oh, you can make Snowmen with it. That's right.

I think they're meant to be covered in like fabrics and things, right? Is that a thing? I don't know. I never knew what, I never bought one. So you just have your little like fabric covered orb corner? But shout out, I'm sorry, Michaels. I broke a ton of them. I would just be, and I'd smush them and shit.

Oh, yeah. And put them back. I broke a million of them. I would just be, and I'd smush them and shit. Oh, yeah. And put them back. I broke a million of those. You know what else was irresistible? You would go to, like, nurseries or, like, places to get, like, a flower shop. And they have that stuff that they stick flowers in that, like, holds water. Those, like, green bricks. But they just, like, relent under your finger.

I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't stop. I couldn't either. I couldn't stop squeezing those. Powerful. Yeah. So many strange textures in Michaels. Yeah. Yeah. I think I could pick it for the textures alone. Powerful. Yeah. So many strange textures in Michael's.

Yeah. Yeah. I think I could pick it for the textures alone. It's a great place for drugs, to take drugs and go to Michael's. It would be. I would have never done that. You should do that. Because when I take drugs, I do want to like-

Touch stuff. Yeah, and like do science experiments. Right. Because they have so many science experiments in a box. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember, it was just like, here's everything. This is how Michael's should rebrand for a new generation. They should.

Drugs. Just have an area where you can do a science experiment and touch stuff just right there. Yeah. The touch room. They should have a partnership with Vice. That's it. You pay like 20 bucks an hour or whatever it is. I would come in there and just do little arts and crafts.

It's a lot like how Pedialyte has rebranded themselves as- For scumbags. Absolutely. They sent me stuff. Did they really? They sent me stuff that it's called Black Label Pedialyte. Yes. And it's for hangovers.

And it works. It's the best thing for hangovers. It's like Robitussin. Yeah. My ex-girlfriend's still one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me. It sent me Pedialyte to my hotel room at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival. Nice. And it showed up in the morning just because she knew.

She knew. And then there was a re-back. Wow. Ex-girlfriend at the time, too. Wow. Shout out to Amanda Armstrong. Yeah. Michael's Craft Warehouse.

Wow. Another thing that they got going for them, they're not the Hobby Lobby. Ah, huge. Which is huge. That is huge. Can't support the Hobby Lobby. No. Jason, it's time for your third pick.

You know what, guys? I think it's time to celebrate greatness. Oh, no. To celebrate not just greatness, but a specific type of greatness, which is a greatness that likes to have fun. I'm going to select with my pick Michael Phelps. Oh, yeah. Whoa.

He, of the numerous gold medals, 23 Olympic gold medals, 66 medals in general. That's crazy. And he did all those high. Strong. Let's just, you know, let's just respect. Respect. I love it. Here's a guy who hit the bong and then would get in the pool and be like, catch me.

And they couldn't. And they couldn't. And they couldn't. And they couldn't. And after his 200 meters, then he'd exhale. That's it. He did it with the smoke and his lung the whole time. Smoke just coming out., then he'd exhale. That's it. He did it with it. The smoke was on the whole time. Smoke just coming out.

Do you think they did that? It was probably so hot. Oh, yeah. That's like better than like, you know how some people like take a hit and then chug a beer and then let it out? Yeah, yeah. Imagine taking a hit, swimming an Olympic style race. Yes.

And then letting it out. Getting gold. And then letting it out. And let's just respect the change in attitudes for weed, which is like in the 80s, it was like, you do this, you're going to be in the gutter the next day, robbing banks, living in a boxcar. Yeah. And then by Michael Phelps here, it's like, oh, he won 66 gold medals.

Right. Hit the pipe and then like get in the pool. And then just jump in the fucking pool. That's it. He had to eat all those calories. He had to eat 8,000 calories a day. Yeah, I remember reading that. get in the pool and just jump in the fucking pool that's he had to eat all those calories because when they were in beijing it was just like they had a thing about how much he ate yeah and he just always was eating and it's like okay were you a athlete or were you also super stoned

i love that it's both other than all the swimming practice what a life that would be i would love to be michael phelps without the swimming practice. Think about the lung capacity for getting high. It must get so high. I bet you that dude is cashing. I bet you he fills a bomb. I bet you he fills a bomb bowl and caches it by himself. He can only

smoke a bowl. Yeah. This is a bubbling sound for a minute and a half. What is going on around here? Sounds like the robin's ready. Why don't we like, why isn't he a more popping figure? Is it just because he doesn't have much of a personality?

It's like an every four years thing. He just disappears from our life for four years. Can I also offer a theory? Yeah. It's because you get a medal for everything in swimming. They give out too many medals. So while he has a lot of medals, it gets a little diluted

in my opinion. What you're talking about because of the different disciplines, the butterfly, the freestyle. Correct, yeah. I think that that... I gotta say, like...

I don't know. I still respect that, though. I respect it. I respect it. Like, the butterfly... Every four years. It's engaging a different muscle group.

Yeah. That butterfly's tough. And he's got all of them it's impressive yeah have you ever just been in a pool and just for a second

tried to do a butterfly no yeah oh it's ridiculous it's always that I'll tell you you do five butterflies and you're like

you know what F this I'm stopping and I'm just swimming to the side right to the bottom right I walk

the butterfly thing it's one of those things where you're like fuck it man maybe maybe I'm an amazing swimmer and I just don't know it. You know when you get that like, let me try it out. And you think for this part of you that thinks you're going to fly through the pool.

Yeah. No, and it's just like face planting. No, it's so hard. Yeah. It looks like Jazzy Jeff getting thrown out of the Fresh Prince. Oh, man. He's also weird looking, which maybe is not. Kind of weird looking.

Yeah. He's just like angular in a weird way. Yeah. He's got like swimmer's body. I mean, he's got an amazing body. Yeah, but he kind of looks like he's melting. In the face? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does. He kind of like maybe a second into the lost arc being open. Like that's what he looks like. Yeah, he looked at it for a little bit. The other thing about swimmers is no body hair. Which is like, if that's your thing... I'm out on body hair. I think it's disgusting.

You don't like it? I don't like armpit hair specifically. On a man or a woman. Has nothing. Literally, there's nothing. You love him. So I'm into that. Like a seal. I'm cool with body hair. I celebrate it. Taco meat. To bring it up for the third time for some reason this podcast michael did was it was

it like when bruce jenner uh was like winning all those decathlons and everything he was like a massive celebrity yeah right and michael phelps, yeah, yeah, was like not, never got to that level. It's just interesting. Maybe we just care about different things. Yeah, phenomenon. Yeah. I think part of that is the fact that in the 70s, there was literally nothing else to do except watch that.

Yeah. That's true. There was not nearly as much television. Right, exactly. Today, it's like Michael Phelps in the pool, and it's like you're on your phone. Right. I feel like people don't even fuck with the Olympics like they used to. I remember those old Olympics, like the Atlanta one. Yeah. I feel like I don't even fuck with the Olympics like they used to. I remember those old Olympics,

like the Atlanta one. Yeah. I feel like I watched maybe everything. All of it. Like the whole thing. Is it the Winter Olympics this winter or next winter? Yeah. It's this winter.

It's this winter? They're coming up and people are- No, it can't be this winter because it's already December. I'm going to Google it right now. 2018, right? It's 2018? Yeah, but is that like a year from now?

Okay, let's trace it back. Oh, yeah. Nagano was 96. No. Yes. Atlanta was back. Oh, yeah. Nagano was 96. No. Yes. Atlanta was 96. It is in 2018. Nagano was 98.

It is coming up February. February? What? In Korea. In Korea. Let's get really into the Winter Olympics. Let's own that corner. Let's draft Winter Olympic competitions.

This is your go-to Winter Olympics podcast. All Fantasy Everything is going to be all Winter Olympics. As soon as we find out where in Korea it's going to happen. We're going to Seoul. We're all going to wear... Is it in Seoul? It's in Pyeongchang. Okay, that was my second guess.

We're all going to wear... Oh, shit, it's time for my pick. Yeah. All right, Michael Phelps, my pick. Yeah. All right. Michael Phelps. Excellent pick. Shit. All right. So I have two people who have done big things on the planet.

Nice. You know? And I'm about to take somebody who's done a big thing on a moon. What? Ooh. Michael Collins. The astronaut. Damn.

Also known as the one guy who didn't get to walk on the moon when we first landed on the moon. That's a great story. Just what a great story to have. Yeah. He had to stay. Well, you know what would be a better story to have? Having walked on the moon? Would you feel bad about it, even?

No, but here's the thing. He's the first guy that jacked it on the moon, 100%. 100%. Whoa. Because they're all out there. They're all out there on the lunar surface. And he's like, you know what?

And I've been here. This is the first alone time. That's what I'm saying. There's no fucking gravity. None. You're just watching that stuff just speed out. That is, oh my god. He's gotta like trap it before they come in. No, here's what he does.

He's got a space sock that he's like to like trap it before they come at him. No, no, here's what he does. He's got a space sock that he's like. It's a sock. And they're like spiraling towards each other. They're like, hey, you guys have fun out there? Guess what? Don't go to the ceiling right now. First fap on the moon, Michael Collins. Oh man, yeah.

Wow, that might be the best pick because of that. Great pick, damn. He had to sit in the module while the other two, yeah, just a man. Wow. That might be the best pick because of that. Great pick. Damn. He had to sit in the module while the other two, yeah, just a man of sacrifice. Oh, man. That's crazy. One small step, and then meanwhile, it's just. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Collins, is everything okay? Yeah. We're good. We're good. We're good. Yep. Whatever a laptop closing was, the equivalent of that. Yeah, what's up?

Right. What's up? Why is this Playboy stuck to the ceiling of the spaceship right now? Why are you asking so many questions, buds? Did you just walk on a fucking moon? Takes out his wallet, unfolds like a picture of Marilyn Monroe.

Oh my God. One of the windows is open on it afterwards. What the hell? Yeah, Michael Collins, man. Excellent pick. Thank you. Yeah, that's a great pick. He had this, just like, can you imagine?

Did they play rock, paper, scissors or draw straws? Like, how did he, like, you don't get to walk on the moon. Was he just like not into it? He's like, the trip, guys, honestly, the trip's enough like, you don't get to walk on the moon. Was he just, like, not into it? He's like, the trip, guys, honestly, the trip's enough for me. Yeah. I'm here for the journey. Yeah. Michael Collins.

Zach Harper, it is time for your third and then your fourth pick. So, the year is 2012. Yes. This man has to leave his home. He has to leave his home and move to Phoenix. Okay. So, in his home, he has left so much stuff in Minneapolis that he has decided, like, I'm just going to have an estate sale.

A wily Zach Harper with not a lot of cash in his pocket shows up to the estate sale on the second day. He catches the eye of a frame poster. It's a red border frame. Okay. Inside that poster, it's a Yale poster. I think a red border frame. Okay. Inside that poster, it's a Yale poster. I think, that's odd.

Yeah. This man went to Kansas State. Why would he have a Yale poster? I'm drafting Michael Beasley and his estate sale. Oh, wow. I bought a Yale poster, a framed Yale poster

at Michael Beasley's estate sale. And I still have it to this day. It is prominently hung up on the wall of my apartment here in West hollywood cool bees is super cool bees and he's done a lot of stuff he uses 11 of his brain yeah he blew that out of the water which no one does he wears three watches at once he's got a watch on each wrist and at least one on a on an ankle maybe two he wears two ankle he might have two ankle i know at least

one ankle watch i'm having such a hard, that must be where the extra 1% kicks in. Right, yeah. Because I don't know what that means. Time, well, because you want to know what time it is closer to the Earth because time actually goes faster, closer to the center of gravity. That's true.

So that's just science. That's another 11% effect. Are you saying my toes are in the future compared to my head? Exactly what I'm saying. I always felt that way. Yeah. And this man.

I suspected that might be true. I didn't have the proof. In the documentary Gunnin' for that number one spot, which is a great documentary, it opens with him filming himself as a teenager just running into a wall in his apartment. That's it. That's the only thing. It's just like, I'm going to run into this wall at full speed. For the AFV listeners who might not know, Mike Beasley, NBA basketball player, went to Kansas State University, drafted by the Heat number two.

Number two. And then just been kind of a weirdo. Yeah. Ever since then. Smoked a lot of weed. Smoked a lot of weed. Good basketball player. Ended up in China for a year.

Yeah, he played in China. Dominated. Dominated in China. He was. Everyone does who goes to China. Yeah. Yeah. When iPads first came out, I was trying to decide, like, is it worth me getting one? Okay, played in China, dominated. Dominated in China. As everyone does who goes to China. Yeah.

When iPads first came out, I was trying to decide, like, is it worth me getting one? I asked him because he was in the Minnesota Timberwolves locker room. He had one. I said, oh, you have an iPad. What do you do with it? He said, I play Angry Birds. Okay. I said, what else do you do?

He said, I only play Angry Birds. It's good to have it on the big screen, though. What a flex. Michael Beasley. That's my $800 Angry Birds machine. You're right. Exactly. My Angry Birds machine. Excellent pick.

And your fourth pick. This man is responsible for some big moments in my life. Okay. Bad Boys. The Rock. Oh, shit. God damn it. Pearl Harbor.

Bad Boys 2. I'm willing to forgive those Transformer movies, especially the later ones. Even some of those are watchable. Michael fucking Bay. Damn it. That's a great pick. Michael Bay. I just want to say one thing about Michael Bay.

Armageddon. The greatest conservative movie. The most entertaining conservative politics movie ever. It is conservative. It's a movie that opens with, they're basically like making fun of Greenpeace. Right. And it's like the plot of the movie, the plot of the movie is oil companies save the earth

with nuclear weapons. Yeah. And like one of the demands is like, we don't ever want to pay taxes again. Yeah. And yet I will fuck with this movie. It's still a so watchable movie. I fuck with it.

I never even thought of it like that. I never even thought about that. I fuck with it. Propaganda. It's absolutely propaganda. You can draw a direct line from Armageddon to Donald Trump being elected president. Whoa. Bruce Willis is hitting golf balls at a Greenpeace boat in the opening of the movie.

That's fucking wild. And laughing. And laughing. From an oil rig. He is Donald Trump. Yes. Oh, shit. And I fuck with it still. It's still funny. And laughing. From an oil rig. And laughing. He is Donald Trump. Oh, shit. And I fuck with it still.

It's still good. I do fuck with it. Michael Bay, man. Those pretty shots. Those pretty shots. Oh, yeah. That movie's beautiful. When he's running the animal crackers all over us.

Yeah. Her body. The Tyler's stomach. Oh, my gosh. That was a sexual awakening for a lot of people. Absolutely. I don't want to close your eyes. God.

I don't want to fall asleep because I miss you, baby. Young Affleck. It is. For some reason it makes sense, but there's so many reasons to hate it. There's so many. But it's so good. And yet we fuck with it. Fuck with it heavy.

Heavy. Like most of Michael Bay's movies. That's right. Yeah. Bad Boys 2 is one of my favorite movies. Absolutely. The shock I felt when we took it in that under 30% Rotten Tomatoes draft. There's no, that and 9-11 are the two most shocking moments of my life.

Those are the two. In no particular order. It's 1A, 1B. You picked the order. Yeah. It's a 1A, 1B. Yeah. Michael Bay is great.

Did he do Pain and Gain too? Yep. Pain and Gain. Pain and Gain was so much fun. Watchable. You knew there was going to be a shot of that Miami sign with an airplane flying over. Oh, yeah. You knew it and it was great. Itting game. So much watchable. You knew there was going to be a shot of that Miami sign with an airplane flying over. Oh, yeah. You knew it, and it was great.

It was great. I bet there's planes landing and taking off that shot in most of Michael Bay's movies. Yeah. He got Criterion collection, didn't he? Did he really? Yeah, for I think Armageddon or for Bad Boys 2 or Bad Boys 1. Good on him. Yeah, because he's like an amazing technical director

right he's invented a lot of shots even Bad Boys had so many good shots I don't I didn't even know this was coming out but he's producing a movie

I'm now very interested in The Purge The Island whoa I'm a big Purge fan you like The Purge also a big Purge fan you like The Purge

I like The Purge I'm a big Island fan Thousand Island Hawaii anything I have a spec script for The Purge Purge fan. You like to Purge. I like to Purge. I'm a big Island fan. Thousand Island, Hawaii, anything. I have a spec script for the Purge. Purge guys, get at me. The Rock and Armageddon are two Criterion Collection movies.

Wow. Absolutely. It is time for my fourth pick. God damn. I really wanted Michael Bay. All right. I'm going to take another figure from the music world. Somebody who taught me that it was okay to be a cool Jew. Yeah.

Mike D. Wow. The Beastie Boys. What a thing. Oh, boy. They are coming home. Mike D. from the Beastie Boys band. Is your name Michael Diamond?

Yeah. Is that really his name is Michael Diamond? Michael Diamond. No, mine's Clarence. Yeah. Mike D. His name is really Michael Diamond. Yeah, and now he's like, he produces music and does remixes now.

He's just chilling, living in Malibu. But there was one time when you know he was one of the most influential music figures in the country and paul's boutique is so fun it's so good it's so good it's like they were so much fun even their like punk shit was like good a little bit like back in the day i what was their punk band called was like the young and the useless uh well they had the like young aborigines right or something like that is that what it was it It was something crazy. I don't know.

But I do like the Beastie Boys. They're just a lot of fun, man. I know their drummer, their tour drummer, was a woman named Kate Schellenbach for the Beastie Boys. Yeah. And now she works on the Late Late Show with me. Really? Yeah, she's like a talent producer.

So she just has like a... Yeah. We worked on Chelsea Lately together, and now she works on the Late Late Show. And she's just like so fucking cool. Yeah, she must be. Oh, man. She was there during the ruckus, too.

During the ruckus. Oh, man. That's so cool. But yeah, Mike D, just, I mean, he's just awesome. I don't have a lot to say. I think I've said this on the podcast before, but it was like learning that the Beastie Boys were Jewish was like a very big moment for me. Because it was like, all the other cultural like archetypes of Jews were all very like nebbish and like whiny

and you know, all that. And you're like, shit, this is what I am. Right. Fuck. And then like the Beastie Boys were there and you're like, oh, oh, you can be like a fucking like go to parties and be a troublemaker. Be cool. Yeah.

And like still be a Jew. So that was like huge for me. Hell yeah. Yeah. Great pick. Thank you. Mike D. I fucks with it.

Jason, it's time for your fourth pick. I'm going to go. I'm going to go international.. Hell yeah. Great pick. Thank you. Mike D. I fucks with it. Jason, it's time for your fourth pick. I'm going to go international. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm going to take us back to the 17th century.

Whoa. I'm a literary person. I like to read. And this is the person who created what is considered the first modern novel, Don Quixote,

Miguel de Cervantes. Wow. Man, I was thinking about it and I was like, I don't know, is that crazy? Because I was looking up famous Miguel's and then it said, because he went by Cervantes so he didn't, good, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Miguel de Cervantes.

Miguel de Cervantes. what else do we know about him oh damn his picture on wikipedia it's dope it's so awesome that's back in the days where you wore that frilly collar whatever that was about the neck brace yeah you were a hype beast if you had that yeah yeah that was the supreme shooting sleeve of the day if he listens to this podcast kelly uber will be Cervantes' frilly collar? How did he get that? If he listens to this podcast, Kelly Oubre will be wearing one of those frilly collars tomorrow. Frilly collar was dope.

Also, I hope capes come back. I would love a cape comeback. Yeah. I would wear a cape. Capes would be interesting. A cold weather cape? Yes. I would get a Fila cape.

Oh. Like a Fila sweatsuit, Fila shoes. Yeah. Fila cape. Is it a a Fila sweatsuit, Fila shoes. Yeah. Fila cape. Is it a sweat cape? It's velour. Okay. The thing about the cape is there's an accessory too because like however you clasp the cape

onto your body, that's a whole other thing. Brooch. Brooch like. Under the collar of my sweatsuit. Nice. Or you could turn it into like almost like a cuff link situation, right? Yes. Like you could really show out.

Switch them out. And it's for the cold, right? When it gets cold. Did you get a hooded cape? Oh, the high-collar cape. Oh, the Dracula cape? That's a great thing. Transylvania.

Imagine that. You got your burgundy suit, high-collar cape in the back. How are capes fucking not back in? I don't know, man. That seems crazy. Who's got the juice to bring capes back, though? That's what I want to know. I think Kendrick could do it. Kanye? Yeah, I yeah i could see kenny but kanye's all in that norm

core vibe yeah he just looks like a dad working yeah like i saw a picture of him the other day and he just had like sweatpants on and the new yeezys and then like a hoodie and a flannel and i was like that's how all my friends dads so if if Damn is Kendrick rocking the sort of like the- The karate suit? The karate suit, the next album, Cape. I think Kendrick could bring me Cape. Somebody get in Kendrick's ear. Somebody get him a Cape.

I've never read Don Quixote, but I know of it. I watched it on Wishbone. Tilting at windmills. Do you remember Wishbone? I do, yeah. What's the story of Wishbone? Yeah, he would reenact famous- It was a dog.

It also created the word quixotic, which is when you take on a mission that's crazy that you'll never accomplish. Right. Or if you're in quicksand. Yeah, quicksand. Nice. Just for the listeners.

But in a fun, foreign place. It's both quicksand and exotic. Miguel de Cervantes, that's amazing. Yeah, that's a great pick. Yeah. Maybe one of the only authors to ever be selected in any draft on All Fantasy Everything

yeah 100% which speaks to our high level of ignorance you know David boy it's time for your fourth and then your final picks

so my fourth pick I'm going to the music world too okay not much to be said very obviously Killer Mike Killer Mike oh

shit Killer Mike that was gonna round up my draft if not just for the fact that he gave me halloween costumes for the rest of my life yeah you you do a good good i did it this year with fucking matt monroe with matt monroe and he did a great lp yeah which means we just wore the clothes we were wearing he He was like, do you want to be? Do you want to be Run the Jewels tonight? And I was like, I'm going to be wearing a black shirt. Yeah, I'm already there.

So yeah, Killer Mike. His verse alone on the whole world, that Outkast song. I catch a beat running like random. It's so good. Oh, man. Player, I grind. My focus is crime. Raw with the rhyme.

I slick with the slime. My words are diamonds dug out of mine. Spit them, polish, look how they shine. I glitter, glisten, floss, gloss. Catch a beat running like Randy Moss. It's so good. He's so great that his albums are great. Everything with the Dungeon Family is great.

Him becoming actually famous with Run the Jewels is great. It's so nice. His activism is great. He owns a black barbershop. He's a huge advocate of banking black. He is like, he's like, I don't know. It's not, it doesn't get much better of a guy than Killer Mike. And he seems like of like an earnestly good dude.

Yeah. He wants to be a good, positive man. Getting that Twitter follow. That was a big moment for me. Killer Mike won. I'm still, I'm still hoping. I got, I got both of Run the Jewels. Really?

Yeah. I feel like LP comes first. LP did come first. LP definitely came first. I follow LP, too. I follow him. LP's good on Twitter. Yeah, I do like his Twitter.

But, yeah, I mean, you know. In the interest of time, because we can talk about Killer Mike more, but what is your final pick? Oh, this one's a technicality. Oh. but what is your final pick? Oh, this one's a technicality. Closing it out with the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. What? Birth name Michael King. What?

Bang. Wow. What? And I'm out. What? Really? Look it up, baby. Damn. That can't be right.

That's not fair. That's completely right. Going to the fact check right now. Yeah, fact check it. Triple check it. Tell the mayor. I can't be right. That's not fair. That's completely right. Going to the fact check right now. Yeah, fact check it. Triple check it. Tell the mayor. I don't give a fuck. Dr. Martin L. King.

Yeah. What was he born as? What was he born as? Born Michael King Jr. Oh, shit. Where's the Martin come from? His dad went to Germany for some conference and decided to change it to Martin Luther. Wow.

Because he was inspired by Martin Luther. What a steal in the last round. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Took him last. Because I knew nobody was going for it. Nobody else was going that deep. Nobody knew.

Nobody knew. Wow. That's unbelievable work. Maybe the best Michael of all. And not even a Michael. Yeah. I think that's my favorite final round pick. To get that in the last round is really amazing.

That's a real steal. It's delicious. This man wants to pick Tiffany, number one overall. Anything can happen, baby. Look at me now. Look at me now. Excellent pick, Jason. This time for your final pick.

We could talk about Martin Luther King more. No, no, that's okay. If you don't know where I did. Do we need to? I have no riffs. Yeah, if you don't... On Martin Luther King. I'm going to go with who I believe might be the original Michael.

Yeah. The Archangel Michael. Fuck yeah. Saint Michael. Noted protector of the Jews. Hell yeah. Shout out to him. Notable religious figure in all the great religions, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam.

Fuck. Archangel Michael, what is up? Hell yeah. I thought I was out here playing chess, and I was really playing checkers the whole time. Oh no, dude. In fact, it's not even a game. Yeah. Shit, it's a lifestyle.

Does he have a flaming sword? Yes. Yeah. I think they all do to me. They do, right? But like, yes. Who's the guy that Wyclef says, Flaming Sword of Damocles? The Sword of Damocles, yeah.

Is that the sword that Michael has? No, the Sword of Damocles is a parable. That's right. Which I'll explain at a later date because we only have 10 minutes. Basically, it was like there was an author. Damocles was like some rich emperor, right? And the guy was like, your life is so great. You know, everything is so wonderful.

Your life is amazing. And he pointed up and there was a sword hanging over his head held by like a tiny little thread. And he's like, that's there all the time. It's basically, it's like when you're a powerful rich person, people are always gunning for you. Like that could snap at any moment. Shout out to everybody coming at the throne on Words with Friends. Which is like a lot of people right now. Yeah.

I swear to Damocles right here. The kitchen is hot. So he was an archangel and he's sainted too? That's right. Wow. Fuck. Do you think the other angels who aren't saints feel bad? They're like, they gotta double them up like that? Let me just read this line to you from Wikipedia.

In the book of Revelations 12.7.9, the war between heaven and Satan, Michael personally defeats Satan in one-to-one battle. Jesus Christ. Whoa. That's right. That's pretty cool. Wow. That's like Scorpion and Sub-Zero going head-to-head.

I know, man. It's just like that. It's just like that, right? It is just like that. He beats Satan one-on-one? But at the end, God was like, that's Charles Barkley Godzilla. Or this might be like a love and basketball situation. They play one-to-one. Play one-on-one to see who gets to murder more people.

Okay. Fucking Archangel Michael. I had something else I wanted to say about him, but now I can't remember it. Well, moving on. It's time for my final pick. And I'm taking someone who is almost as impactful I can't remember it. Well, moving on. Yeah. It's time for my final pick. And I'm taking someone who is almost as impactful as Martin Luther King Jr.

and the Archangel Michael. I'm taking George Michael. Oh, damn. That's a good one. The dearly departed. Oh, man. Someone who can be my father figure, who's looking for some fast love. God, he was so great. Freedom 90, one of the greatest pop songs ever.

It's so fucking good. It's so good. Ever written. Freedom. Yeah, Freedom was so great. Much like the arcade. Freedom 90, one of the greatest pop songs ever. It's so fucking good. It's so good. Ever. Freedom. Yeah, Freedom 90 is amazing. His work with Wham. I mean, it's the holidays right now. Last Christmas.

Yeah. You know? One of the greatest heads of hair I think I've ever seen. A beautiful man. Oh, Last Christmas was it? I didn't know that. Yeah. Also, because I was thinking about this the other day.

Really good on him for breaking into the Christmas genre. Oh, yeah. Tough nut to crack. No, because I was thinking about this the other day. Really good on him for breaking into the Christmas genre. Oh, yeah. Tough nut to crack. No, and he was like- Happens once a decade, maybe. Tough leather daddy gay guy breaking into the Christmas market in a big way, too. Awesome. I respect that big time.

Got in trouble for soliciting sex in a bathroom back when- Who hasn't? Back when everybody was soliciting sex in the bathroom. Yeah. Fucking good for him, man. I'd be like, what was that cop doing there? Right? This is a bathroom where we'd go to get some sex.

Right? That's entrapment. 100%. I'm just saying. Yeah. George Michael also, not a lot of people noticed. Let's just say he didn't get that electric cheese. The godfather of carpool karaoke.

Really? The very first one happened way before the Late Late Show existed in England. The very first one happened way before the Late Late Show existed in England. And it was James Corden driving in character from his sitcom, driving George Michael around, singing their songs together. Wow. Yeah. Hits just keep on coming. Hell yeah.

Even from the grave. Even from the grave. A hugely influential figure. Can't be stopped. Zach Harper, time for your final Michael. All right. Now, there are a couple on the board that I just really wish I could pick. I'd like to pick Michael Crichton and write some Jurassic Park books with him. Absolutely.

I'd like Michael K. Williams, Omar. Yeah, Omar Cullen. Michael Jai White, star of Universal Soldier 2, The Return. Kung Fu Treachery! By the way, not even sarcastically, great series. Universal Soldier series is legitimately good. Is it really? Absolutely.

Legitimately good. But my team is a little problematic, right? Mike Vick has done some stuff. Mike Tyson about to do some stuff, but I drafted him in the 80s. I gotta remember that. 100%. Michael Bay, he's

made some really bad movies. I need a boss to reign them all in. You need a King Michael. I need a king. I need a mafia boss. I need Michael Corleone. Oh, shit. Oh, that is a good Michael.

Fuck, that's a good Michael. Now, people are going to be coming at his head, but he can handle it. He's ready for it. He's ready to go to the mattresses. He's used to working with a bunch of knuckleheads, too. Oh, man. He knows how to reign it all. He's the only one who can keep them in line.

Yep. Michael Corleone. Wow. The god knows how to reign it all. Keep them in line. Yep. Michael Corleone. Wow. The godfather himself. This fifth round. That's a Michael Corleone did some gully shit too.

He did some gully I mean he's a mafia boss. He did some gully shit my guy. Even just like not mafia shit the whole

Diane Keaton move when his wife in Italy died and he comes back and he's like hey I haven't talked to you in like two years. Monday, Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Monday, Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

He may have planted that bomb himself. I don't know. I don't know. And then came back and like Diane Keaton who had been like just sitting around for two years, hadn't even heard from him. Right. You know? Where you been?

Yeah. I've just been. I went to the store, okay hadn't even heard from him. Right. You know? Where you been? Yeah. I've just been. I went to the store, okay? Yeah. Don't worry about it. It got hot. I worry about that. You worry about getting married to me.

Don't ask me questions. I went to the store. But military veteran. Yes. Right. He was a hero. He was a hero of veterans. Yeah.

We don't know what he saw over there. We don't know. Yeah. Saw a lot of stuff. Changes a man. Changes a man. Could have ruled the world. Could have been a lot of stuff. Could have changed him. Could have changed him. Could have ruled the world. Could have been a politician.

Could have done whatever he wanted. Could have been a contender. Is that one? Close enough. I think it all goes together. Yeah, sure. It all mixes. Instead of what I am, which is a mob boss, let's face it.

Yeah. Excellent. Michael Corleone, excellent final pick. We left some good Michaels on the board, as you alluded to. Mike Patton. Mike Jones. Michael Scott from The Office. Yeah, I had him on there.

My boy, Michael Cain. Michael Cain. Michael Cain. Michael Cain. Michael Cain. Have you seen Michael Cain? Michael Cain. Michael Cain.

It sounds like you're saying Michael Cain. That's the key to saying. That's how you say Michael Cain in the Michael Cain voices. You just say Michael Cain. Michael Cain saying Michael Caine. That's the key to saying. That's how you say Michael Caine in the Michael Caine voices. You just say Michael Caine. Michael Caine. Michael Caine. Losing Jaws for the revenge, Michael Caine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I know him from. Michael Mann. Michael Stipe, dude. Michael Keaton. Clark Duncan. Good mics out there. It was... Krzyzewski.

Epps. It was hard to get Epps. It was hard to find your favorite ones. You know who has a middle name, Michael? Huh? Lil Wayne. Really? Michael Carter?

Yep. I would have counted that. A couple of shitty Mikes out there right now. Mike Pence. Fuck you, Mike Pence. Yeah. And then Michael Rappaport. Somebody who's like, his charm has really been diluted by the internet.

Yeah. He made that amazing Tribe Called Quest doc He was in some fun movies We didn't need a bunch Of Michael Rappaport I didn't need We're getting like Way too much Michael Rappaport

Yeah He was on The second to last season Of Justified Yeah And You know I tweeted Michael Rappaport's

Cajun accent It's not poppin Right Something to that effect He came at me. Of course. Over Twitter. I bet you didn't even tag him either. I did not tag him. So he's out there searching Michael Rappaport,

looking for fun. That seems like a bad life if you're famous to do that. Just so paranoid. I think his avatar right now is him with Lonzo Ball's hair photoshopped onto him, which seems weird. He's going to hear this. He's going to come back. He probably will.

The Avatar game is also weird. It's weird in general. Yeah, it is. A lot of strange Avatars. I'm wearing a beret in mine right now. I'm wearing sunglasses. I'm a dog in mine. You're a dog.

I'm biting 3D glasses. Are you? Yeah. Oh, it's back to that one. That's right. Yeah. Okay. I like that one.

See, mine's been the same the whole time. Excellent draft, gentlemen. Nice. Great time. Oh, it's back to that one. That's right. Yeah. Okay. I like that one. See, I've never, mine's been the same the whole time. Excellent draft, gentlemen. Nice. Oh, yeah. Great time. Oh, yeah. Shout out to the listeners. Thank you for listening.

Send us your lists of Michaels, anyone we forgot on Twitter. Shout out to the AFE subreddit. Like and subscribe the podcast. Give us five stars, all that shit. And tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shaq Claxity. Shaq Claxton. I love it.

Yeah, that's where I'm going today. Shaq. Claxton. Yes. that was a hate gun podcast