All Fantasy Everything - Monsters (w/ Gaby Dunn and Allison Raskin)

Episode Date: October 13, 2016

In the fifth episode, it's officially Halloween season, and we're gonna fantasy draft monsters. Host Ian Karmel is joined by Gaby Dunn and Allison Raskin, as they mash on some monsters. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. On this week's episode of All Fantasy Everything, we are drafting monsters, ladies and gentlemen. That's right. It's October. It's the autumn. It's getting dark early. It's time to get spooky. That's why I enlisted the help of Gabby Dunn and Allison Raskin from YouTube's Just Between Us series, but also very talented comedians, actors, writers. So lucky to have them here. And it gets pretty fun. Gabby,

it turns out, took the draft very seriously. Allison may have never seen a scary movie before in her life, which is actually the perfect combination for all fantasy everything. I think you're really going to enjoy this episode. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, by the way. You can follow me at at Ian Carmel. And if you get a chance, thank you for listening, by the way, and head over to iTunes

and subscribe to us there. Give us the five stars. I'm not even going to ask for four. I feel like we earn five. I feel like we earned five. I feel like we give you five-star shit every week. And leave a comment, too. It helps us out so much. I really love making this for you guys.

And the more people we can get listening, the better. That way I can buy a jet ski and everyone who's listening can come over. We can have a fun jet ski weekend. I'm thinking of us when I say this. But without further ado, let us get to the monsters episode of All Fantasy Everything with Alex Gineraskin and Gabby Dunn. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of All Fantasy Everything. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. It is October, and because of that, today we are fantasy drafting monsters.

Ooh! Halloween noises. Scary Halloween noises. Try this at the page. Yeah. This is also a fun reminder to change your Twitter name to a scary Halloween-themed Twitter name. I've never changed a Twitter name. You can do that?

Yeah. Absolutely. But what's it do? It's just fun for you? It's just fun, yeah. No other people can see it, and they're like, ooh, Allison's celebrating Halloween. But will they not see my tweets anymore? They'll still see it.

They'll see your tweets. It'll still be like, at Allison Raskin, but it'll be like, Allison Raskin. Raskin. Raskin. Raskin. Yeah. Allison Noskin. Allison Noskin.

That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, something scary. And it's also a little prudish. It is. Alison Nosekin. That's pretty good. Yeah, something scary. And it's also a little prudish. It is. It is a little. It's very Puritan. So on brand.

Our two favorite things about the autumn, Puritanism and Halloween. Yes, exactly. We should jump right in and introduce our guest. Sure. Today we have Gabby Dunn and Alison Raskin. Hello. Hello. Thank you so much for – that was –

I loved that and Gabby was so upset that it happened. This is their first time working together. Yes. Nice to meet you. Yeah. I don't think this – I don't think we're going to be friends. It's not going to go well after this. And Allison and Gabby, you have worked together before.

Oh, yeah. For the last like three years. Yeah. Oh Oh yeah. For the last three years. To the delight of hundreds of thousands. If not millions. Not millions. But hundreds of thousands. First on BuzzFeed. No, we were on our

channel. First on BuzzFeed? No, we were on our YouTube channel together. We had our YouTube channel together first and then we were at BuzzFeed and then we left and still had the channel. Oh, hot shit. That's amazing. We were already friends. You had Just Between Us before the whole BuzzFeed thing.

Yeah, that's why we were allowed to keep Just Between Us. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was going to get to it later, but now's a good time to shout out on the article you wrote and that you were both involved in and how important it is to own your own content going into... into you want to explain that better than i can i'm fumbling through it it was more just about like intellectual property and like just making the choice to not make videos for a company but to make videos on

your own so that for career longevity you're able to keep you know you're able to use those videos to sell television shows or to springboard into other things. And yeah, just the benefits that we – why we left BuzzFeed and the benefits of like being able to own our own content. If you're a creative person who's – especially in this day and age, if you haven't already gotten started, it's a very important thing to read and very important to keep in mind. So if you're creative at all and have any designs on that, make sure you check that out. Where was it published again? It was on Fusion. It was on Fusion.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, so check that out. You were both so – I feel humbled to have you here in the studio. You're both so talented and such busy people. I mean, Gabby, apart from the Just Between Us that we mentioned that you do with Allison, you've written for the Boston Globe, the Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan, Slate, Salon, so many places. Used to be a journalist.

Back in the day. Also a very funny person. Thanks. Now writing comedy stuff and acting in the comedy. Allison, you're an incredibly talented, gifted person to your writer, comedian, actor, director, dog owner. Very, very important dog from Instagram. How sad are my credits that dog owner has to be a famous dog owner. Very, very important dog from Instagram.

How sad are my credits that dog owner has to be a famous dog owner? I would have put dog owner in Drake's credits if he owned a dog. Again, you're part of Just Between Us, but you've also worked for BuzzFeed, SourceFeed. You were in a Payless commercial. I looked up your credits. I was reading my bio off my website went to your website and read your bio i also read it on wikipedia though i'm not on wikipedia you are on wikipedia what full blown yeah my mom make it finally somebody made you a wikipedia i bet

i bet our manager made it oh man i gotta read it it's a big wikipedia wait you're lying no you're not just referencing gabby's no no no no you have a, no, no, no. You have a Wikipedia as well. It's just my Wikipedia and then it has a sub-Wikipedia for Allison Raskin. Yeah, the little drop-down menu for Allison Raskin. No, you have a Wikipedia and it has a personal life section. What's it say? Allison has spoken about being straight and speculated about the possibility of being on the asexual spectrum. She is open about the fact that she underwent a rhinoplasty after receiving

daily comments from her parents about her nose. She also speaks openly about struggling with OCD and the ways in which that impacts her life. In 2016, Allison adopted a dog named Sugar. Who wrote this? Our fans. This is not a normal Wikipedia page.

No, no. Fans. They do. They write weird facts about you. That's amazing. Somebody has to write all. There's somebody out there who wrote like the golden rod, the color. That thing's Wikipedia page. Somebody has to do it. And somebody wrote Allison Rasmussen.

It's a fan. All right. Thank you so much. That's all mostly accurate. It's full of flattering information and accomplishments. You should be very happy with it. Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Anyway. Congrats. I always feel so weird giving people's bios without having talked to them first because it feels very invasive. It was exciting because I didn't know what I've done. Yeah. So it wasn't. You didn't?

No, yeah. But I just feel so pathetic compared to your bio. Mine? You guys both have amazing bios. And also, I mean, they can see your work right now on Just Between Us on YouTube which is a massively popular popular YouTube series thanks that people should absolutely check out

where can people find you on social media I'm at Gabby Dunn J-B-Y-D-U-N-N and then at Gabby Road on Instagram and Snapchat which is like a stupid Beatles reference that's like really not good for branding did you start that Instagram in high school somehow on Instagram and Snapchat, which is like a stupid Beatles reference. Yeah, that's like really not good for branding. Thank you.

Did you start that Instagram in high school somehow? It was my screen name in high school. It sounds like an AIM screen name. Yeah, and then when Instagram started, I didn't fully understand what Instagram was. So I thought it was just like a photo album that your family and friends could see. That's what it was. But I was already kind of like oh a big deal no when i met gabby she had 10 000 twitter followers and i was like oh my god it seems like so many so

famous yeah what do you guys what are you guys up to now where the number is that i think like 117 i just hit hit 100. Always a little bit behind. So many Twitter followers. What do you even say to them? Are your mentions just a constant stream of people liking? Mine are a lot of angry men. Yeah. I feel like I get some good jokes.

Yeah. You get some good jokes. I only tweet jokes and people will joke back. And some of them are strong. Yeah. Some of them are good stuff. There's some good people out there producing content i like laughed at one today she gets very like she'll be like our fans are funny like she'll be like really excited if they're like a funny joke back meanwhile people are like you whores need to learn yeah that's the extra 17 000 i have seen it

why did gabby block me oh yeah those as well why did gabby block me? I get those as well. Why did Gabby block me is a big one. Good, good, good. So they come to you as though you were her spokesperson. Yeah, exactly. To read a form letter off. I'm basically just Gabby's secretary. So if you need to schedule an event with her, if you want to let her know your grievances. Any of that stuff.

It's cool because I have an assistant background, so I'm actually really qualified. You fall naturally into it. Yeah. The vacuum was there and you filled it. The vacuum was there. You filled it. Fantastic. Allison, where can people find you on Twitter and Instagram? At Allison Raskin. Yes. That's it.

On both of them. But double L. Yeah. Beep beep. That reminds me of that The MAA, the Mako commercials? Yeah, like the one from Curb. You know a lot more about Curb than I do. He loves this commercial.

It's the M-A-A-C-O. And then he gets in a car accident. Because he honks along to it. Right. Well, no, he thinks that, oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy thought he honked him. Yeah, I thought it was the other way, but you're right. Two things Allison loves are Curb and Seinfeld.

So if this were like a Larry David- And as my comedy partner, I would think you would like them too. It's weird if you don't. I think they're fine. She's like very- They're fine. Very unaware, blase about like, ugh, the shows that shaped my whole sensibility. We need to get into the podcast, but it's crazy.

You have like no strong opinions on the Larry David verse. It's fine. Okay. Yeah. I think it's fine and good. I don't know. It does me no good to force other people to have my same opinion. It's so good.

It's like the perfect sitcom. I can't. It makes me so upset. The storylines, the way they wrap up. I'll watch them. I haven't really seen a lot of it. Oh, my goodness. It's so good.

It's crazy the way the A, B, and C storylines all intertwine and connect and wrap up at I haven't really seen a lot of it. Oh my goodness. It's so good. It's crazy the way the A, B, and C storylines all intertwine and connect and wrap up at the end. It's truly beautiful. It's actual structure. It's pretty cool. You should check it out. It's like watching a funny, well-made cabinet. Everything fits together perfectly. Not really into structure. Alright, fine.

You watch the Eric Andre show and cover yourself in blood. That's funny. Today's being covered in blood, we are drafting monsters as it is October. Yes. To determine how the order of this draft, the two of you are going to play rock, paper, scissors. But people can't see it. I'm going to narrate it as though it were an on the radio sporting event.

Could you just say I won? Two out of three? Is it two out of three or one? We're doing it once. Rock, paper, scissors, you throw on shoot. Okay. Ready? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Yes! Oh, Allison won with a rock against Gabby Scissors. Woo! And the crowd is apoplectic. People are pure. Yeah, oh my God. Oh, they're happy. They're stoked.

Oh, yeah, she deserved it. There are banners. People are pure. You deserved it? Oh, that was a fan. That was a fan in the stands. So, Allison. I'm sorry, your ideal situation is that a fan thinks you deserved it? Yeah, of course.

Like, oh, she made the right call. Oh, I thought like. She should honestly get like a couple of Gabby's pics. You, I mean, yeah. If you feel like you know that many monsters you feel free to go seven eight rounds good at this this is what we talked about is that you and i talked about in dm how we love halloween yes and i was like allison doesn't know any horror anything so this should be great well you just wait because it's called beginner's luck it worked in the rock paper scissors assuming

that was your first time doing rock paper scissors, scissors. No, I've played a lot of rock, paper, scissors. Who would you, what do you want the draft order to be? Now, this is a serpentine draft, which means there's three of us. So if you pick first, you know, if you pick third, excuse me, that means you also pick fourth. So in the second round, the order reverses. What? So there's no huge advantage. You pick first, that means you also pick sixth.

I want to be second. All right, you're second. What would you like Gabby to do? So there's no huge advantage. You pick first, that means you also pick sixth. I want to be second. Alright, you're second. What would you let Gabby do? Gabby's third. Third, making me first. Yeah. Which means I have the first pick of the monster draft. Okay. I have now, this is where I take out my notes on my phone, where I did extensive research. Absolutely.

And I have here on my laptop computer, further extensive research. I'm going in blind. And you're going in completely blind, like some of our monsters today. All right. With the first pick of the first round of the All Fantasy Everything Monster Draft, I am going to take Frankenstein's Monster. Ooh. Really? Yeah.

Why? I'm going Frankenstein. Frankenstein's Monster. By the way, the one from the book, as well as the general fear everyone feels from the movie version. Because Frankenstein's monster from the book was fast, agile, strong. Really? Terrifying.

A dum-dum. And eloquent. Not a dum-dum. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein's monster was not stupid, but he was aware of how much everyone feared him. He was like having a boo-boo existential crisis the whole time. He was. It was great. We've all been there.

We can't relate to Frankenstein. So that he was fast? That was your first pit? Yeah. I'm going Frankenstein with my first pit. I don't understand how you can judge that. We're picking monsters for a fake fantasy team. Yeah, but that guy's not...

I mean, that's the wrong attitude, Allison. I'm just saying that maybe he loves him. I do. I love... By the way, Frankenstein, he has his own cereal. I'm confused because is his name Frankenstein? Frankenstein's monster. And I said Frankenstein's monster. You said it right.

I didn't adopt a scary doctor. Also, that would be smart though because you could make more monsters. Yeah. Oh. Oh, I know my pick. Also, I have thoughts on what qualifies as a monster. Frankenstein's monster. He does.

Okay, okay, okay. But I'm saying for my pick. Yes. It's not your turn. Okay, sorry, go. We're not there quite yet. Okay, it'll come up when I I think

I can't believe you don't like The Frankenstein's monster pick He's a classic Didn't even make my top 15 He's a You already Okay He's a universal monster

Yeah he's so well known I've heard of him He's got his own studios What are we What is our goal To get most kills We just want To appeal to the people

Who listen to this podcast Okay With our list Because I went with it Like a team that would fuck shit up. That's fantastic. I mean, that's a great strategy. Frankenstein's monster would fuck shit up. Mine is going to be for the most interesting movie.

That's a good strategy, too. If they all were in a movie together. If they're all in a movie together. Oh, like on the same team or fighting each other. Well, you'll have to see. Like a suicide squad. Oh, my God. I can't wait for this.

So, yeah. Frankenstein's monster. He's gigantic. He's lumbering. have to see. Like a suicide squad. Oh my God, I can't wait for this. So yeah, Frankenstein's monster. He's gigantic. He's lumbering. He's iconic. Very few, a lot of monsters are scary. Frankenstein is iconic. He can also pull off cute, as we've seen on the Frankenberry box.

He's adorable. Yeah, I think it's a good pick. He's adorable on the Frankenberry box. Are you making a list of everybody's choices? I am. Okay, cool. My monster has met Evanott and Costello. That's the last thing I want to add in. Fine.

You went so flashy with it. He rubs elbows with Hollywood's elite. A mistake. All right, so my first pick was Frankenstein's monster. Are you going second, Allison? Allison, we're asking you the second pick of the first round. I want to make sure no one else takes this one, so I'm going to take it. It's Hollow Man, that Kevin Bacon movie.

Oh, yeah. Hollow Man is good. Yeah, I never saw the movie because it was too scary, and the trailers gave me nightmares, so that bodes well. Here's a question. He's a man, though. Is he a monster? I think Hollow Man counts as a monster. He's a monster.

He becomes invisible, and he's creepy as fuck. I think he's more hollow than man. So I think, yeah. And honestly, becoming invisible, from what I read on Wikipedia, it really fucked with his psyche. It did? Yeah. Does it sound okay?

Yeah. All right. Does it sound okay? Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, going invisible fucked with Kevin Bacon's psyche. Yeah. The actor or the person in the movie? Probably both.

So honestly, it's a very strong monster. I think Hollow Man is based on the Invisible Man, so you also get the Invisible Man. It was, yeah. That's great for me. And it was nominated for an Academy Award for visual effects. I was about to be shocked. Yeah. I was like, for original screenplay?

For Best Picture, Hollow Man. You saw Paul Verhoeven directed it, which was the Robocop guy. And I think you see Kevin Bacon's Hollow Man penis in it. You do. You do, right? He has a Hollow Man sex scene. He does have a Hollow Man sex. Oh, he does.

Is he completely? How do you see it? Oh, because it's like, you kind of see it? Yeah. Cool. You kind of like see him. Is he like partially visible? Yeah.

Yeah. Now I'm wondering if it's more of a. You kind of like see him. Is he like partially visible? Yeah. Yeah. Now I'm wondering if it's more of a hollow man sexual assault. But yeah. Oh no. Yeah. Oh it might be.

I think it is actually. I think it's a hollow man rape right? Which makes him. Why? She doesn't know what's happening? Yeah. Yeah.

What? Yeah because he's invisible. She's you know like people who are like I had sex with a ghost. You ever heard that? Personally I don't know anybody who said that. I've never talked to anyone who's done it but I've heard before had sex with a ghost. You ever heard that? Personally, I don't know anybody who said that.

I've never talked to anyone who's done it, but I've heard before. Yeah, that people say that. Like, I fucked a ghost. Splashed across the headlines. Was she enjoying it? In the movie? I can't remember. But I think she didn't know it was him.

If she was, it was the only person having a good time at the Hollow Man movie. Yeah, yeah. I don't think people liked it. That does raise the question that when people are like what superpower would you have so many dudes say invisibility creepy it's such a it's a very creepy answer because it's just like so i can sneak into the locker room which seems like the grossest place to see a naked person yeah just based on dude locker rooms no absolutely not that's like you go there to get a staph infection and to see someone's

unfortunate back. That's like all a locker room is for. Yeah. Totally disgusting. Which makes Hollow Man I think an even creepier monster. Thank you.

Yes. So with the second pick overall, first pick of the second, your first pick of the first round. Of course I'm writing it down. I'm using my

Apple computer. Shout out to Apple. Have fun, Gabby. Be loose. Allison Raskin picks Hollow Man with her very first pick. Gabby, you have the final pick of the first round, the third pick. Okay. Well, since I'm the only person taking this seriously.

What are you talking about? Frankenstein. Go ahead. I'm sorry. You got to go with Jason. Jason is good. I don't know who that is. Jason, he wears a hockey mask.

He's in Friday the 13th. Is that with Jamie Lee Curtis? No, Jamie Lee Curtis is in Halloween. So not that great of a monster. He doesn't really have his presence known. Yes, you would know if you saw him. No, I never heard of him, so it seems like a bad pick. You've seen Jason.

Jason has the most confirmed kills. I think he's solved your game. He's has the most confirmed kills. I think he's solved your game. He's got the most confirmed kills of any horror movie villain. It's a little boy. He's not a little boy. Who's Jason? He's a gigantist. He was a little boy.

There's a whole thing where he was a little boy in the first movie. This is not Jamie Lee Curtis' movie? No, that's Halloween. Michael Myers is Jamie Lee Curtis. What? Yeah. Who's in this movie? Jason? Yeah. Who's in this movie? Jason?

Yeah. Who does he kill? Is there a family? God. No, it's Crystal Lake. It's like a summer camp. And every summer? It's always teens.

How many movies are there? There's like a bajillion. I think he's got 13 movies. And each one he kills just random people he has no connection with? He kills people at the camp. But it's not just him. The first movie, it's his mother playing Jason. What are you talking about?

Spoiler alert. If you were waiting... What do you mean it's his mother? So Jason was a little boy who they thought he died, and the mother is like the chef at the camp, and she's upset that he died. So she decides to pose as him and kill people because he was this poor little kid who drowned in in the camp in the camp's lake yes and then

at the end of the movie it's revealed that he didn't i think that he didn't actually die and she dies but then he's actually alive and then he's like kind of a zombie human and then he comes back and now the rest of the movie is he's actually Jason. But the first actual movie, they think he's Jason but then the reveal at the end is that he's the mom. They think it's a little boy? No, a grown up. They think he didn't actually die. So he continues growing. He's gigantic by the way. He's like 6'6".

Well built. Hockey mask. I'd rate your choice 6 out of 10. Hockey mask. You've seen the hockey mask before? No. He's got a hockey mask. You're lying. He kills with a machete. You're definitely lying.

You're familiar with the sport of hockey? Yeah. I went to boarding school. It was the number one sport. All right. Fantastic. So it's that mask on a gigantic terrifying man. Doesn't add up, but okay.

So Jason is an obvious first pick. He has the most kills of any horror movie guy you're going and we know you're going off kills to be fair he does have

13 movies I think he spread his he spread his works over a large canvas yeah other other

monsters have less kills but less movies to eat like you know what I mean like I think they have a higher kill per movie rate.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's not a good first choice. But he has the most kills. I'm interested to see if you take, like, The Wave from San Andreas. If we're just going based off of... That's funny. Just off of kills.

Shout out to the impending earthquake. Yeah, Jason, so that was your first pick of the third round. Yes. I like it. Allison, not that convinced. Well, it remains to be seen what the listeners think. You also have the first pick

of the second round, so you get to go back to back. Great. Now, this might be a rogue choice because I'm not going to go with my actual number two. I'm going to switch it up. Okay.

For feminism. Oh, good. And I'm going to. Okay. For feminism. Oh, good. And I'm gonna go with Carrie from Carrie. Oh, yeah. Carrie. Because she takes out her entire high school. No, I'm just kidding. She takes out her entire

high school. She's like she's just like I feel for her as like a teenager getting made fun of and her abuse from her mom. I think she's got a real good story. Plus, Carrie is the scariest book I've ever read. I was in college reading it. I've never been more scared of a book.

I was reading it under the covers being like, I could just close this book and be fine. Why am I terrified? Stephen King. I know. He's a master. It feels like the book would glow and wake you up and be fine why am i terrified stephen king i know he's a master it feels like the book would glow and like wake you up and be like yeah yeah like i should put it in the freezer so that he can't like carrie can't get to me yeah she chills her out a little bit yeah she's uh yeah terrifying and it's weird it's the only time i've ever been

like physically scared of a book both of your monsters have been people so far. Yeah. That's why I wanted to make sure that it was allowed. Although they're both kind of Jason demon. But yeah, right? Aren't we all kind of monsters? Jason's a demon now? Yeah.

Carrie's kind of demon. It's hard to say exactly what Jason. Jason's kind of a zombie. Carrie's a pig blood activated telekinesis assassin. Sort of like a... Yeah, she's got superpowers. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Where does she... a, yeah, she's got superpowers. Yeah. Where does she, like she kills people with, it's not lightning.

What is it? How does she? It's like telekinesis. It is. Like telekinesis, yeah. She just fucks people up with her anger. Yes. Yeah.

And same. That would be. Honestly same. Yeah, yeah. That's how you sort of, like negative Twitter comments are like pig's blood being dumped on you by the internet. And then I kill the whole high school. And then well thought out replies are your telekinesis.

Are my telekinesis. Carrie's a good one. Didn't they remake Carrie recently? I don't want to talk about it. Didn't they remake it shot for shot or something? They remade it, like, almost, yeah, and it wasn't as good as the original. No, not at all. You're never going to find someone as creepy looking as a young sissy spacek no she was perfect she's perfect she was the perfect person for it sissy spacek looked like midwestern poverty yeah you know what i mean she looks like an alien she does look like an alien

it's so great she like if you needed somebody, if you said, show me the Dust Bowl, and I brought up Sissy Spacek, you'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, there it is. Where's Spacek been lately? Is she dead? No. She's alive, right? Yeah. What else has she done? Sissy Spacek? God, I mean, now we're going to have to look up Sissy Spacek.

I will look her up while you do your picks if you want. Okay, may I go? Yes, absolutely. Okay, my I go? Yes, absolutely. Okay, my pick is the Babadook. Oh, yeah. Great one. Great one. It was on my list, definitely. I don't know what that monster does, but people talk about it a lot.

People do talk about it a lot. And people go, Babadook. And I did it once and people laughed, so I'm picking it. Have you seen the Babadook? Nope. Okay, fantastic. Still a very scary monster. And you're banking on the goodwill of the people listening who have seen the Babadook? Nope. Okay, fantastic. Still a very scary monster. And you're banking on the goodwill of the people listening who have seen The Babadook.

What does it do? Do you hate scary movies? Yes, I won't watch them. You won't watch them. Right. Why is that exactly? I hate to be scared. I'm kind of actually, I love Halloween, but I'm not a big scary, like, I don't like cringe scary movies.

Like, I'll enjoy an atmospheric scary movie. I like thrillers. I don't like when scary movies. Like, I'll enjoy an atmospheric scary movie. I like thrillers. I don't like when things pop out. Yeah. I don't care about people dying or grossness or, like, whatever. But any element of surprise or, like, a loud noise really gets me. Was there a movie that did it? Was there a last straw?

Or has this been, like, a lifelong? I hate it. This has been a lifelong policy. One time I was watching, it was either Jimmy Kimmel or Jimmy Fallon or Jay Leno. It was James Corden. It's his boss. No, because it's a bad story.

It wasn't James Corden. We love James Corden. The most lovely person. What a guy. It was some video. I think it was Jay Leno. It was some video of this sexy girl dancing and then suddenly it turned into a monster. I think it was Jay Leno. And it was like some video of this sexy girl dancing. And then suddenly it turned into a monster.

And it was just a surprise element. I literally, I'll move the mic away, went like this. Ah! And my mom went, oh, my God. Like the most guttural, gut-wrenching scream just because I was surprised. From like a late night show. From a late night show. From a late night show.

I went, ah! Well, you would hate the Babadook because it's very scary. If I ever see a movie like that, I can't go in public because I'll scream. You have to watch it at home. I have to watch it at home, preferably alone with the lights on. With the Babadook, he's a tiny little demon-y troll. No, he kind of like changes. He's like this weird guy

with like a top hat yeah he's got a top hat and like a white face yeah and like weird eyes what's he do? he's Australian kind of like kills you

in your sleep I think and it's scary? yeah alright cool good choice me it's kind of good yeah he's like in the shadows and stuff

anyway Sissy Spacek's been on that show Bloodline oh yes yes yes the most expensive show ever. Really? Yeah. Why?

It's hard to say. More than Game of Thrones? Maybe Game of Thrones is more expensive, but Bloodline costs hundreds of millions of dollars for two seasons. It's crazy expensive. But what about it? They film on location and- In blood.

In blood. They use real blood. The line's a CGI, but you can't. I mean, see, line technology's gotten so good. Yeah, I don't know exactly why it's so expensive. There's some scary pictures of the Babadook. Do you want to see those? Sure.

Yeah. That's him just... Oh, I don't like it. Yeah, not one bit. Not one bit. He looks kind of like a scary voodoo dude yeah yeah i did yeah i stand by it all right so you stand by it do you do you anticipate being familiar with any of the monsters you pick on anything more than a first name basis no that's totally fine you don't have to be there's no pressure to be it's just interesting knowing

your strategy all right the baba duke goes number two. You now have the Hollow Man and the Babadook. What a great movie so far. Pretty good movie, you guys. These are pretty good, yeah. Everyone's been from a movie so far, too. I think we're going to break that streak right now. Joining my team of gigantic, lumbering, scary people, I'm picking Bigfoot.

Whoa, that's a bad choice. What? Bigfoot's a good choice. But why? Because he could be. You can't even locate him scary people. I'm picking Bigfoot. Whoa, that's a bad choice. What? Bigfoot's a good choice. But why? Because he could... You can't even locate him. What if he's real? But he's so slow.

You've got a lot of slow guys. He's not slow. He's slow compared to maybe some other monsters, but he'd catch any one of us. Oh, that's true. Six feet tall, athlete's build. You don't even know where the Bigfoot is. Why does that matter? You know where Babadook is?

Yeah, where is the Babadook? In the movie. You mean literally like he can't find him to put him on his team? Mm-hmm. Okay, I think you're having some problems with the reality of this world. I stand by my Bigfoot. I grew up in Bigfoot territory, and that shit is scary. When you're camping.

Were there legends like where you lived about? I mean, like general legends. There weren't like old men shuffling up to you in Beaverton, Oregon like, I hear a tale of a tree ape.

I really wish there were. I wish there were too. People, but there's people who believe. I mean, if you go outside of like Portland or Seattle far enough, you'll find like a lot of true,

or if you just talk to Kyle Kinane, find a lot of true Bigfoot believers. I went to the Bigfoot Museum in Portland, Maine. Yes. Why the hell do they have one? I don't know. There's a guy that lives there who's like a really big Bigfoot guy and we went to his museum.

People think it's real? Oh, yeah. We went to his museum. That's pretty cool. I believe it. Why not? You love aliens. Thank you.

I believe all of it. I'm terrified of aliens. You love aliens and ghosts, so why wouldn't the Bigfoot be real? I didn't say it wasn't real. Okay. It's definitely real. The idea that it is real, that it might be real, makes it scarier to me. Because Frankenstein's monster is not real.

You know what I mean? Not yet. Carrie, we know for sure. There are people named Carrie, but that's as close as yours gets to getting real. So the Bigfoot, what would it do if it found you? Tear you limb from limb. Why? Hungry.

For invading its. For food? For hunting down its family. It knows. It's mad. It's mad at humans. It's the missing link. It's smart enough to know what foul deeds man has, you know, cursed this earth with.

And it's a defender of Mother Nature. I just have never heard of anybody dying at the hand of the Bigfoot. I mean, it hasn't happened yet. Well, of course you haven't heard about it. How would you have heard about it? They think it's wolves. Yeah, they think it's a wolf murder. Okay.

Thank you, Allison. Allison gets the logic of the Bigfoot pick. Okay. If Bigfoot killed somebody, you would never find out about it because Bigfoot's smart enough to make it look like an accident. Okay. Because he possesses some but not all of man's cunning. Yeah. Mine are mostly movies. mine are all from movies.

Bigfoot's been in movies, too. So, I mean, he covers every bit. By the way, Bigfoot, like Frankenstein, a versatile, horrible monster because of Harry and the Hendersons. Harry is Bigfoot, and he shows a softer side there. Just like Frankenstein on the Frankenberry box. I was going to pick Harry, but I can't anymore. No way. Because he's a Bigfoot. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Also, you seem to have a real

soft spot for, like, large, lumbering softies. I don't know why that could be. Yeah, I'm not sure what you're seeing in them. I see a lot of myself in the Babadook. We are all picking the type of monsters we are. You did walk in with sort of a

slash from guns and roses looking hat thank you which is which is very nice uh all right so with my pick which i stand by and heavy wait before we move on you believe in aliens and absolutely cryptids and stuff like that yeah why not i will also believe in alien how far does it go for you do you believe in the Loch Ness monster i i may is a monster i don't also believe in aliens. How far does it go for you? Do you believe in the Loch Ness Monster? Who may is a monster and may get picked later? I don't actively believe in these things, but I would need very little convincing. She's talked about Roswell being like, like Roswell's definitely hiding something. Well, yeah.

I mean, that's obvious. But I just mean like even, here's the thing, you guys. There's stuff in the ocean where they go, this is just from the ocean. And we go, oh, okay. Speak on it. But it's insane looking. That stuff's insane. How do we know that's not an alien?

They could tell us anything is from the ocean and we would be like, sure. That's so true. That's the best propaganda our government has. We could absolutely. We would buy anything, hook, line, and sinker. They could pull something with hands and feet. Hands and feet and it talks and we're like, yeah, that's from the bottom of the ocean. They were like, we found a fish that looks like Alf. It's crazy, everybody.

Yeah. Honestly, look into it. That's a great idea. Google the ocean. I can't. Google the ocean. I'm just feeling happy that everybody thinks that I'm so crazy and now we're finally revealing that Allison's crazy. I do love this.

This ocean take isn't crazy to me. It's the first time I've been compelled by a conspiracy theory in over a year and a half. Allison loves conspiracy theories. It's a great one. I love the idea. They could just say anything was from the ocean. Right? Listen, if we accomplish nothing else.

Oh, because of that Montauk monster. Remember? I don't even have any. I've seen stuff and it's insane. Like, I can't. We're such rubes. They're just really taking advantage of us. Have you seen things?

You feel like you've seen things? I've seen some stuff, yeah. That can't be explained. Share one unexplainable thing you've seen. That in my life? No, I've never seen anything. Oh, no. My dad sent me a photo of something.

The Montauk Monster. No, I don't even know what that is. I'm basing a photo of something. The Montauk Monster. No, my... No. I don't even know what that is. I'm basing this off of very little. Pure instincts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you gotta go with your gut.

Yeah. Speaking of going with your gut, where... Oh, wait, no. It's my pick. Yeah, it's your pick. It's your pick again. Where is my gut going to take me? Somewhere terrible.

Which gigantic... Lovable. Completely symbolic of me. Monster am I going to take next? Okay. All right. I'm going with. I'm continuing my.

Not the gigantic thing theme, but I'm going with Wolfman. Okay. Or any, you know. Like a werewolf? Like a lycan. Like werewolves. Yeah. That is the most useless choice.

What are you talking about? He could not say anything and you would like it. I have a whole list of what he could pick. So if it's not on your list and you're not going to like it? Gabby thought she was going to be the only one who prepared. I came up with a laptop full of homework. Yeah, but I'm clearly the best at this. I have Frankenstein and the Wolfman.

Fine. Wolfman. Fine. Wolfman. I don't know why I'm on your side but I don't know why you're calling it the Wolfman. I don't know why I am either. Oh, the Wolfman is...

Werewolves. Werewolves. Wolfman is a specific werewolf. The Wolfman is a specific werewolf but I'm taking werewolves. From a movie, The Wolfman? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

He's like... What about that one with Michael J. Fox? That's a teen Wolfman? That guy is super likable. He is likable. Oh, fuck yeah. See, now I got another semi-likable villain.

Yeah, you got the Teen Wolf on your side. Yeah, Teen Wolf just riding on top of a car. That's cool. Yeah, dunking a basketball. Yeah. All right. See? Werewolves are pretty great.

It's an obvious choice. But they can't control their choice at all. Once they're turned into a monster? Yeah, they can't control the choice to be a werewolf. No, no, no, no, they can't control their choice at all. Once they're turned into a monster? Yeah, they can't control the choice to be a werewolf. No, no, no, they can't. And they can't control themselves once they become that werewolf. And according to J.K. Rowling, an analogy for HIV. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely it is.

Right, which shows my tenderhearted side. Here I am, taking in people surviving with HIV. Oh, wow. Welcome to my team. You're a real philanthropist. I am a full-blown. That's all this has really been about. Frankensteinism.

You're putting together just like a home for wayward monsters. That's a good movie. That would be a good movie. Guys, don't put that in the podcast so we can sell it. You probably could sell that. We could absolutely sell the movie A Home for Wayward Monsters. Are they just not quite right monsters? Is it like a wolf person who turns into like a –

Yeah, like they don't know if they want to be good. They don't know if they want to be bad. Yeah. Their families rejected them, but they're not that great at killing. There's clearly a vampire with a cavity somewhere in there. Yeah. Oh, God. This is good stuff.

You know, just wandering around. It's very like X-Men. Like Xavier's School for Gifted. This will be different. Okay, it'll be different. Will we be thinking animated, like a Laika? No, no, no. Sort of a Laika thing?

No, no, no. Real. Real. And we get like Miles Teller and Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah. We just get the cast of X-Men? Yeah. I'm going to deep impact your Armageddon with an animated version of it.

Well, okay, great. A race to the studios. Absolutely. Werewolves of London, great. A race to the studios. Absolutely. Werewolves of London, great song. Fine. Bunch of great werewolf movies. It's fun.

I like it. It's tattered clothing. It's grunge, you know? Just the tattered clothing of a werewolf situation. Very cool. Ripped jeans. There are some I didn't even think about. I went horror with it, but now I'm thinking about other things. Yeah.

Can I go? Yeah, absolutely. Allison, it's your turn. It's your third pick. I want to pick The Devil. I like that. I have The Devil on my list. You did?

Yes, I did. See, it's allowed. The Devil is allowed. The Devil is the best pick because it is so powerful and scary. Yeah. And recognized by more people than it should be. Played by Al Pacino at different times too. It's like people actually believe in this.

Yeah. That's powerful. That is powerful. That's like how people believe stuff's from the ocean. Okay. It's a power. Okay. The devil.

The devil's a good pick. The devil, depending on who you ask, higher kill count than even Jason. No, definitely. That's true. Absolutely. That's true. Allison. The devil, depending on who you ask, higher kill count than even Jason. No, definitely. Absolutely. That's true. Allison, which devil is it? I mean, like, it can be every devil, but when you think of the devil, what pops into your head? It's the devil from Little Nicky.

Universally regarded as the scariest devil. All right, good. It's the devil from Little Mickey. I'm shaking my head. I like the devil. I like how he's often depicted with goat features. I like a fun goat monster.

What's cool about the devil is that the devil is whatever you think it is. Your own personal devil. Your own personal hell. Oh, so it could be heroin addiction. Exactly. That's the devil. It's your own personal devil. Your own personal hell. Oh, so it could be heroin addiction. Exactly. And it falls onto your... That's the devil.

It's all powerful. Okay. You sound like an evangelical TV preacher. What do you mean? Like, that's your own personal devil. Well, you've got quite a few, Gabby. Yeah, well... We'll talk later.

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. This draft is quickly going off the rails. I know. Yeah, that's a fun devil. And so, obviously, in my movie, the devil is the going off the rails. I know. Yeah, that's a fun devil. And so obviously in my movie, the devil is the leader of the group. Sort of the mastermind? Yeah.

So the devil gets all of them together. Yes. Got it, got it. Okay. Got it, got it. The devil is almost one of those picks that's too big to even say anything about. Yeah. There's so much to say.

Just such a strong choice. Yeah. A fallen angel, right? I think originally, right? Yeah. Satan's a fallen angel. Yeah. A fallen angel, right? I think originally, right? Satan was a fallen angel. Yeah. A lot of fun nicknames for the devil. Lucifer.

Satan. Beelzebub. The Morning Star. Big Red. Big Red. Clifford, the Big Red Devil. Oh my God, fine. Hank.

Some of his close friends call him Hank. All right, the devil. Any other? No, I think it speaks for itself. All right, the devil. Any other? No, I think it speaks for itself. All right, the devil, absolutely. Gabby, you so far have Jason and Carrie. I hate everything that's happened. Okay.

And you have the next two picks as well. Your third pick of the third round, you're on the clock. Okay. Well, this is tough, but maybe I need to go big. I've never seen Gabby more prepared for anything. It's impressive. And we work together. I think I need to go big, so I will take the Cloverfield Monster.

Oh, you literally went big. Yeah. What is it? Oh, it's terrifying. It's like a Godzilla, like a big Godzilla. So I think. Seems boring. It's like a, it almost looks like when you see undersea footage.

Yes. Of like an oil rig and there's those crazy long spindly crabs on it. Yeah. But like a 50 story version of that. Yeah. But like a 50-story version of that? Yeah. So he's like huge and scary and he's like got his own movie that is sort of just everybody's running from him.

The whole town, the whole city. He's executive produced by J.J. Abrams. Yeah, the whole city. Pretty cool. I just wanted to – I think you're right. I've gone human the last two. I think I really need to take it like up a few stories and pick someone who is big and who can just crush with their one leg. You know what I mean? It's a big fucking monster. Does it have a face?

It's a great monster. Yeah, kind of. I'm not going to explain it right. It's like nice. It's mouth opens wrong. Honestly, what Gabby did was eerily good. Thank you. For a minute, the Cloverfield monster was in me. I can't describe to you what she did, but it reen I mean, it reenacted perfectly.

I heard TJ Miller's voice freaking out behind me. Yeah. Yeah, it was very scary. It's just the embodiment. Let me just embody the character. It is, it's probably the biggest monster that's going to be picked in this draft. So if you're thinking size. Yes.

Yeah. I had another big one, but another big monster. Yeah. On my list. You got your next pick. Is that who you're going to do? Are you going to go back-to-back big? Just crush us?

I mean, you have that opportunity. You haven't seen Cloverfield either. No, I've seen Cloverfield. Cloverfield's not that scary. You could probably watch Cloverfield. Do things just pop out? Things might pop out. Not interesting.

It's also shaky cam. It is shaky cam. Oh, God, no. Oh, double net, no? Okay. She doesn't like shaky cam or anything with like IMAX, you know what I mean, 3D. Yeah. No thanks.

Yeah. I want to just watch Larry David be Larry David. At least you know what you like. It's good to have a lane. It's a terrifying, then they made one Cloverfield lane, which has nothing to do with the Cloverfield monster, right? It doesn't. It doesn't. 10 Cloverfield lane, it doesn't. do with the Cloverfield Monster, right? It doesn't. Ten Cloverfield Lane, it doesn't.

Yeah, ten Cloverfield Lane. But isn't it the conceit that the monster is out there? To try to keep them in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It went back into the ocean, right? Was that what happened at the end of Cloverfield? It did, yeah. Yeah.

And so it's just in the ocean? It's just in the ocean. All right. Eerie confirmed. Go back to your ocean theory. Thank you. Eerie confirmed. That was one of the... It's just in the ocean. All right. Eerie confirmed. Go back to your ocean theory. Thank you. Eerie confirmed. You know what?

Cloverfield was one of the first times I remember Neil deGrasse Tyson piping up about a movie. And saying that it wasn't realistic. And being like, that creature could not physically exist outside of the ocean. Like, oh, thank you. All right, fine. Stop ruining things. What does it mean? Its body was built in such a way that the physics would allow it to live in the ocean where you don't weigh as much, right? But once it came out of the ocean, its skeleton collapsed upon itself.

It felt like it had – I think it laid eggs. They usually lay eggs. Yeah, to set up the next Cloverfield. Yeah. Who knows? Yeah. That's anti-climactic. The monster just goes, I'll remove myself from this situation.

It was more about the journey than that. I would like to remove myself from this narrative, one that I never asked to be a part of. Well, now I'm curious if I do want to go big with it or if I do want to go artsy or if I want to stay with the ladies. Has there been an artsy movie? Well, Carrie's kind of artsy. No, no. I mean like super artsy. Do super artsy.

That's fun. Okay. I think we all want to hear super artsy. No, no. I mean like super artsy. Do super artsy. That's fun. Okay. I think we all want to hear super artsy. So my fourth artsy choice is the Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth. Is he a hand eyeball guy? Hand eyeball. Hand eyeball guy. Yeah.

Do you ever see Pan's Labyrinth? Nope. Okay. Do you know the stills from Pan's Labyrinth where the guy has his hands on his eyeballs? Eyeballs on his hands? Sorry. It's a guy. So it's a monster with no face. And then he goes,

and then his eyes are in his hands, and he goes like this. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, it's great. Guillermo del Toro. Guillermo del Toro. Does he kill people? Yeah, he eats the fairies that she's with,

and then he tries to eat the girl. He eats children. He's full-blown terrifying. He's one of the most memorable monsters. One of the most memorable, one of the girl. He eats children. He's full-blown terrifying. He's one of the most memorable monsters. One of the most memorable, one of the scariest. Ever, probably. Yeah. I think that put you ahead in this draft. You think the hand-eye walk I did?

I think that's a good pick. Thank you. The pale man is genuinely terrifying. Yeah. Dirty nails, too, on those hand-eye walks. I think no matter what you're judging this draft on, that hits all the requirements. Of like memorable. Memorable. Actually scary. Of like memorable. Memorable.

Actually scary. Looks like a monster. Yeah. You aren't familiar. What is it like to be you? Very lonely. Very selective. Isolating. It's such a, you would, like it's crazy.

We'll have whole afternoons where Gabby just explains Marvel characters to me. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, you know, it's honestly, it's like being reborn because I don't know anything. So it's very easy to keep me entertained. It's kind of fun. Like, I get jealous of people who haven't seen, like, if someone has never seen Curb Your Enthusiasm, but they love Seinfeld. I get jealous of them for not having, because they get to watch it for the very first time.

I feel jealous of you. For knowing nothing. For almost everything in pop culture. Yeah. Yeah. Pale Man was like a huge part of pop culture when it came out. Gigantic. I don't know how you missed that.

People freaked out. Really? People loved that monster, yeah. Were you, did Pan's Labyrinth scare you? It was almost more, it's almost got like a, a labyrinth vibe to it. It's magical realism. Yeah.

Yeah, there were parts of it that really it. It's magical realism. Yeah. Yeah. There were parts of it that really scared me. That was one. Yeah. Where like she goes into this other room and she takes one of the grapes and then he wakes up. Like him being still, I think he's a monster who still, even just being still, it was scary. Yes. Yes.

Which I like. Which I think is a good, or you just just see them a monster that's scary when they're not even like chasing you yeah you just see them walk one of the scariest moments in any movie i think is in uh m night Shyamalan's in signs yes they're watching like the news footage of the first time they see the alien and it just walks behind it just walks behind that is one of the fucking scariest things oh my god that's fucked up. So fucked up by that movie. That was actually scary? Yes. Signs was so scary.

I thought people made fun of it. Yes, but it was very scary. That was the last, like, actually good movie. And then it got, unfortunately, co-opted in with the bad ones. It's legit scary. Yeah. There's corny parts of it, but the parts with the aliens are so fucking scary. What do the aliens look like?

Humanoid, weird, shadowy. Gangly. Yeah. That was so scary. Yeah, and that news footage part was fucking terrifying. It was like at a birthday party in Brazil, and it looked so real. My friend Nick, back in Portland, the first time he was watching, he told me he was holding like a knife for some reason

he was like cooking or it was like cut whatever reason some non nefarious reason to hold a knife and that scene came on and he threw the knife off the television it was that scary and Pale Man had some of those vibes that element yeah

good choice very good choice like if I of everyone that's been picked so far, I feel like I might be the most bummed out if I open my front door and Pale Man is in there. I mean, I'd just be so stoked if Frankenstein or Bigfoot were in there. You love them.

What about the devil? Was I playing the banjo down in Georgia and the devil showed up and wanted to play? Here's my problem with that song and the devil's part in it. He just gives up. He's judging the contest. I don't know that song.

Devil went down to Georgia. I know it, but I don't know it well enough. He's looking for a soul to steal. He's like, hey, I'll play you in the fiddle. We'll play the fiddle, and if I win, then I take your soul. And if you win, you get this golden fiddle. And then the guy plays fiddle so well that the devil's like, you win. But that's how contests go.

But the devil was judging the contest. He was also the judge. He could have been like, eh, I win. No, but the devil abides by rules, if you remember, by Little Nicky. Game. Recognize game. I think the devil's just so stoked to hear a fresh fiddle song for the first time in however long.

Yeah. I used to know all the words to that song. I bet if we played it, you could sing along to it. I'm so Florida trash. It's upsetting. Okay. I'm from Portland, Oregon, and I know that song word for word. Yeah.

Yeah. You find your trash where you got to get it sometimes. My next pick is controversial as well. I can't believe it. What is it? I think that you might not allow it, but I will make my case. Okay. Miss Hannigan.

From Matilda? No, from Annie. Oh, from Annie. Trench Bull's from Matilda. Miss Hannigan. Miss Hannigan's a person. She's a monster to those children. Miss Agatha Hannigan?

Yes. She's horrible. She's horrible. She's evil. She's conniving. And I think that you can be a monster just with your evil thoughts. I mean, that opens the door up to a lot of other monsters. Right. That opens the door up to, like, other bad guys That's why I waited until the fourth pick.

Oh. You came in here trying to make us think you had no strategy. Oh, I got strategy for days. You want to bring her? I mean, I'm going to allow it just because I'm going whatever. Fine, she's allowed to pick humans, but we are not. I will honor that agreement.

Fine, I will take my handicap. Fine. But honestly, think about it, because if you pair her with Babadook, oh, man. I understand, but then it's like, then any villain. Then there's no rules in any villain. But it's different because she was mean to kids. That's a monster. The reason I didn't put Hannibal Lecter on my list is because Hannibal Lecter is a person.

He's a villain. I'm sorry. When I got the email about this podcast, there were not a list of regulations and rules. It just said monster, and I'm allowed to interpret that in my own way. I'm trying to keep up the appearances of this being a very well-run, organized podcast. It was. Speak a little more highly of the email. It was very clear where to go.

The address was obvious. Yeah, yeah. Printed clearly, separate from the body of the email. Yeah, it was well done. I haven't seen Annie ever. This is one of my holes in pop culture. Why is she so horrible? Make her case as a monster.

She wants to sell off Annie, and she takes advantage of the girls, and she's just like a mean woman, like a very mean lady. And you're saying because her victims are children. She should count as a monster. Hmm. She does hit them. Pretty good. Yeah. That's not fair. Well you said it was allowed so let's just keep going. Alright. Before we think about it

too much. The more I think about it the less I'm inclined to allow Miss Hannigan. But I want you to have people on your list that you're familiar with. Because it will be a good movie. I need people that can talk. Just because it fits in with your overall strategy of developing

a team for a movie, and I want to see how Miss Hannigan, Agatha Hannigan, fits into that. She's the devil's number two. But here's the thing. She's vying for number one. Does she sing in the movie? Yes. Yeah.

So this is our first musical monster. Yeah, musical monster. So far. Unless you count the monster mash. Oh, right. Although I think that was being sung by Igor. But Frankenstein's monster is in the monster mash. He's in the monster.

He's dancing, but we don't know if he's singing or not. Yeah. The wolf man is also there. Yes. Oh, wow. Bigfoot isn't mentioned. He's not mentioned. But I like to think he is also there. Oh, wow. Bigfoot isn't mentioned. He's not mentioned. But I like to think he's definitely there.

He's heard the song and likes it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's familiar with it. He's familiar with it. He's given it his blessing. Look, monster is sort of our word, so it's a little rude, but I'll let him have it. Is Igor a monster? No, he just has a hunchback.

Igor just has a hunchback. Yeah. Poor Igor. Okay, Allison, Miss Agatha Hannigan. Boy, I'm really fucking up. I'm so twisted off that answer. Miss Agatha Hannigan

from the Broadway show, Annie. Yep. I think people will really get this. You're a fourth monster. I mean... We've lost all integrity, but I'm fine. We have. I'm fine being disqualified, honestly.

When we did, we drafted presidential administrations where we picked like a president, a vice president. Oh, that's fun. We had Jared Logan, a comedian, who's a very political-minded person, not on stage, but in his own life.

He loves it. And John Lovett, who's a very political-minded person, not on stage, but in his own life. He loves it. And John Lovett, who's a speechwriter for Obama and Hillary Clinton. And with his first pick as Secretary of State, Jared picked Shakira, and John Lovett picked Darth Vader as his president. So integrity means nothing. See, there's not a lot of rules here. Okay. Just relax. But I will honor there's not a lot of rules here. Okay. Just relax. But I will honor the agreement and continue picking only real monsters.

My last pick will be an actual monster, as you guys seem to think it is. Why, with my fourth pick, I'm picking Hitler. No, I'm not. I'm not picking Hitler. I'm going to throw my LaCroix. I will throw my LaCroix across this room. He's got a few more kills than Jason, Gabby. Dark.

Very dark. I'm Jewish, just in case anyone's wondering. We're all Jewish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone here is Jewish, except for G. It's a holiday coming up. All right. G just got invited to a holiday coming up, so he is also Jewish.

Some sort of Jewish holiday. Nobody in here but us Jews. It's not Purim but let's just say it's Purim. All right. Purim's the best one. Purim's, but not for a while, right?

Oh yeah, don't go to any upcoming Jewish holidays. It's all bummers until Hanukkah. A lot of reflection. Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur?

Bummers until Hanukkah. It's bummers until Hanukkah. It's a very funny like title for something. Bummers until Hanukkah kind of sounds like they'd open for Taking Back Sunday. Yeah, yeah. But no one would have showed up. Nobody would have showed up.

Very whiny screamo music. All right. So it's my fourth pick. And with my fourth pick of the Monster Draft, I am going to take... Okay. All right. I'm going to stay. Speaking of bummers until Hanukkah, I'm going to take the Gollum.

Oh, that's a good one. Not Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Oh. The Jewish Gollum. The Jewish Gollum. You know that guy? Not really. There's a legend in Judaism of a guy, a big lumbering guy.

Yeah. Made out of clay. Yep. Oh, yeah. Who when you put like a certain Jewish word on their forehead, they come alive. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. It's turned into like the infinity symbol, but it used to be, God, let me.

It's a Hebrew word. Yeah. There was a book I read when I was younger, Snow in August, which is about a kid who activates the golem. I think I've read that. I think I may have read that in middle school. Yeah, I read it in middle school. Yeah.

I think it has... I think I was like one of the first times I read the word penis, so... Whoa. I think penis is in that book. Was it the golem's penis? I don't know, but my mom gave it to me to read, and then I remember reading it and being like, she shouldn't have done that the golem

it's gigantic, it's lumbering it is single minded are you putting together like a basketball team like yeah I don't understand, what is your strategy you don't even have one at least we have strategy

literally all you need to get away from my team of monsters is like a skateboard. Right. But I like them. It was the rabbi of Prague was said to, there's a story about him having a golem.

There's multiple golems? You can make one. You can make it out of clay. You have to activate it. Interesting. But it's kind of dangerous to do. You shouldn't do it. You shouldn't do it because it's going to go out of control. Yeah. It seems very dangerous. Yeah, it's

very dangerous. I think the golem rose out of our constant being chased around Europe and terrifying. The golem is supposed to protect Jews. To protect it. Yeah, protect the Jews. Oh, wow. I actually was in Prague and I think I learned about the Golem.

Oh, you did? Yeah, I remember it at a little museum. Do you enjoy Prague? I loved Prague. Top city. One of my top cities. Oh, right. I remember that.

That's one of the places internationally you've traveled that you've enjoyed. I loved it. It's my second favorite city other than Lisbon. Oh, yeah. So I might not know about these stupid pop culture

stuff, but I'm super well-traveled. We should have drafted sort of like just braggadocio. Oh, yeah. Drafted things to brag about. Things to brag about would have been a fun draft. Emmet is the thing carved on its forehead. Emmet, yeah, means the truth.

Truth, yep, exactly. I went to Hebrew day school for all of my life. God, what a waste, huh? Can you still read Hebrew? Yeah, I can. I can't anymore. And I somewhat speak it. I have a Hebrew tattoo on my back.

Do you? Mm-hmm. What does it say? It's my grandma's name. Beautiful. That's great. Thanks. I wanted to get one, too, and I just never look a tattoo in Hebrew.

My little sister has a Hebrew tattoo also on her back, and it's of her own name. That's a. Thanks. I wanted to get one too and I just never. I look a tattoo in Hebrew. My little sister has a Hebrew tattoo also on her back and it's of her own name. That's a little weird. Which like, I was like, I loved my grandmother. I had a really good relationship with her. I wanted to get her name. And my sister was like, you know what I love? Me. Is it her name in Hebrew?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well that's a little different. But, okay. But it's like, it's like. She needs to remember herself. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, that's a little different. But, okay. But it's like... She needs to remember herself. Yeah, exactly. I did it as like a beautiful memorial, and Cheyenne was just like, I love myself.

It's better than getting some dude's name tattooed on you. Absolutely. Because you're not going anywhere, you know? Do you know your name in Hebrew? Yeah. Well, it's Tova Gabriel. Tova Gabriel. Allison, do you know yours?

I had to pick one. Mine's Sarah. Sarah. You just picked it? Yeah. Because it's like my grandma's mom's name, maybe. My grandma's grandma's name. That's a good enough reason.

I'm Yohanan Ben Yisrael. Ooh, Yohanan's great. Yohanan, yeah. That's really good. Yeah, which is also going to be my golem's name. Keeping it in the family. And I'm going to tattoo my Gollum's name. Keeping it in the family. And I'm going to tattoo my name on his back. Because you can do whatever you want to a Gollum.

So that is my... I always thought it would be fun. I never brought it up to anyone. But remember that show Grimm? Which was like that monster show on NBC? I always wanted to pitch. Because it took place in Portland. I was like, I'll play a Gollum.

But I'll be kind of like a, I'll play a Gollum. Oh. You know, but I'll be kind of like a fun, wisecracking Gollum. I thought you were going to say, I want to play the Bigfoot. I would also play the Bigfoot. Yeah. I will play Bigfoot, Frankenstein, or Gollum. You would be so good as Frankenstein. Thank you very much.

But like the smarter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. One time I got an audition to play that monster girl in that. Oh, in Hemlock Grove. In Hemlock Grove. And they were like, basically, you actually won't see any of your face or your body. But please send in this audition.

Because they jack up your face. Yeah, but this was season two. They already had a girl for season one and were recasting her. And it's that good. And you could literally not tell that much who it was. Role of a lifetime. How do they have you stand in a tape? Do they cover your face in Lunch Mate?

How are you supposed to audition for that? I don't remember. I think there were a couple lines. I didn't book it. I've never booked anything. Booking things is overrated. And you've got to go to work. Yeah, yuck.

Yeah. I don't like it for one second. All right. Gollum was my fourth pick. And since I picked first, that means I also have the next pick, which is my last pick. First pick of the fifth round. I'm taking Cthulhu. Oh, that's a great one.

All right. That's a very good one. That's my first pick that you've liked. Yeah. Yeah. It's from literature. Love it in my face. It's from the stories of H.P. Lovecraft.

Yeah. Cthulhu's like an octopus monster. Giant octopus head monster. Yeah. And I should say that Cthulhu's only the way that humans say it because its actual name cannot be pronounced with a human tongue, according to H.P. Lovecraft. Fucking Lovecraft. It's supposed to be more like Cthulhu.

Okay. Does this person's stuff count as literature? Yeah, so H.P. Lovecraft is like, he writes a lot of, he wrote a lot of science fiction. It sounds like science fiction. It's not literature. But he's like well respected. But it's old ass science fiction. Like old ass.

Like people love it. Old as hell. It's regarded, right? Like as like very intelligent. I think so. Yeah, yeah. H.P. Lovecraft is a weird intelligent. I think so. Yeah, yeah. H.P. Lovecraft is a weird dude. I think he's a deeply problematic guy.

Weird dude. He's a weird dude. He was like into eugenics or something like that. No! I think he was. Am I going to commit? Am I? Race, ethnicity, and class. Oh, my God.

So we all have six choices? Five. Oh, he preferred English. Yeah, yeah five we're doing five okay he held english people in high regard uh but he was like one of those british people who like was like keep britain away from immigrants big time oh yeah yeah yeah when was he around he early 1900s. So it was okay. But a scary man is not who I drafted. I drafted a scary monster, which was Cthulhu. He is. He's from the story Call of Cthulhu. He was almost like J.R.R. Tolkien, where he created this whole universe of terrifying shit. All these weird different monsters who were said to be slumbering

sometimes in the ocean, which is where Cthulhu is. He adds up. In the ocean. He had monsters that were just like nursing wolves that gave birth to horrible other wolves. I don't know. He was a fucked up weird dude. His stuff's really weird. Yeah. But Cthulhu

is his most famous monster. I feel like you did a great job. Thank you very much. Because it's like stuff that holds a test of time. Yep. That's how I would describe your team. Thank you very much. It is a bunch of timeless monsters. Yeah. None of these Johnny-come-lately's

popping up in Stephen King novels for a cup of tea. Exactly. I don't even know half of Gabby's. You know what I mean? Yeah. Mine's team's definitely the worst, but yours is the best. Yours is the only one with a Tony Award winning part on it, though. Yeah, that's true. Which is very nice. Yeah, Cthulhu. He had wings.

He had a tentacle head. He had wings? He had wings. Yeah. His head had tentacles on it. Look up pictures of Cthulhu. It's crazy. He's gigantic.

I don't know how to spell that. C-T-H-U-L-u-l-u-l-u yeah he is said to be hibernating within an underwater city in the south pacific called rylea and uh and he is the source of anxiety in mankind at a subconscious level yes so any anxiety you feel is because of Cthulhu who is on my team. I just want to remind everyone listening.

He drives people mad. So who's your team? My team, we'll recap again at the end, but Frankenstein, Bigfoot, werewolves, Wolfman,

Gollum, and Cthulhu. All right. Yeah. So that's my team. But I mean, we're not done picking. Allison, we're asking, you have a chance to build on your previous pick. All right. Yeah. So that's my team. But, I mean, we're not done picking. Allison Raskin,

you have a chance to build on your previous pick. And we get five. We get five. Okay. Of Miss Agatha Hannigan. Can I pick Poseidon? No.

Who? What? That is a god. But he's bad. He's not bad. He's not bad. He's bad sometimes. He stole that woman.

The way Poseidon... Why are you obsessed with the ocean? Like, are you Poseidon? Like, is this a trick? Fine. I change it. I want King Kong. Fine.

Because I love animals. King Kong is good. King Kong is great. Thank you. I love animals, and I also feel like he has a real heart, which will help with the movie's overall, like, arc. Yeah. So my movies, like, my movie is, like, the is like the bad people which are like the devil

hannigan um hollow man no no okay so the devil hannigan babadook evil but the hollow man and king kong are constantly battling with their humanity oh wow whoa and in the middle of the movie they actually become the good guys. And then they fight each other. Yeah. How is it that King Kong battles with his humanity? He loves that woman. Oh, yeah. He does have feelings.

He does have feelings, yeah. So it's actually like I'm building a really rich story. Good. I'm happy for you. The interesting thing about King Kong is at no point in either the first movie or anyone i've seen since then has he been actively malignant he's never bad he's just like misunderstood he sort of gets painted into bad situations and hollow man is also like a victim of this experiment gone wrong so so pretty interesting stuff when you think about it wow very complex characters on your team what is your do you have

have you seen the latest big King Kong movie? I've never seen a King Kong movie. You've never seen any King Kong movies? Oh my God. You're at least familiar with King Kong going up the Empire State Building. I've seen posters, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was, what's her face?

It was getting divorced. Naomi Watts. That wasn't the original. It was like Faye Dunaway. Whatever. She was in a King Kong. She was in one of them. Thank you.

Yeah. God. King Kong is so far the only, well, Cthulhu could fight the monster from Cloverfield. Yeah. And King Kong in Cloverfield. They could. Someone should make King Kong versus Cloverfield. I'd watch King.

They don't make, they need to make more versus movies. Fucking copyright lawyers. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I'd watch King... They need to make more Versus movies. Do they? Fucking copyright lawyers. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I have Freddy Krueger on my list. They at least need to make like 22-minute episodes of Versus. Yeah. Freddy vs. Jason was great.

But who are you voting for if they're both bad? So, interesting. So in Freddy vs. Jason, they struggled with that. And they actually decided that they were going to make jason they were like which one of them should is more realistically like to have a like a tragic backstory that we can build on so that people will root for them so yes they're both bad but in freddie versus jason they decided to give jason like he came from an abusive home he was deformed he had like a bad life and they also made him protect this pregnant woman like just like because of his own issues with his mother.

So they actually went into Jason's psyche and gave him reasons for you to root for him. So that, in Freddy vs. Jason, you would want him to beat Freddy. And then what? And then he went and he won and then he kept killing people? Yeah. So he's still bad but they give you a shred of

humanity that you can root for Jason. They just needed enough to get through about 90 minutes. Yeah. Just enough explanation. Do any of those characters talk? Freddy does. Freddy does. Freddy's funny.

Jason doesn't talk, but Freddy Krueger talks, yeah. Freddy's not funny funny, but Freddy's like, he's got lines. He's like sick funny, yeah. Yeah. And why do they want to kill each other? I don't remember. Yeah. Freddy was like a, I don't know why they want to kill each

other i know why they want to kill in general right yeah freddie got burned and he had like all this shit happened all right who's your final pick um okay so i'm i'm at an impasse because i have a lot of choices that i think are good are you threatened by my team? Yeah, I'm really threatened. I'm torn between two, but I think in the interest of, again, feminism and rounding out my team with strong women, I think I'm going to go

with Samara from The Ring. That was on my list, too. That's such a good one. She's very creepy. Yeah. And my reason is I think I've got Carrie and Jason and Samara are all three sort of like were people. Had tragic things happen to them, tragic backstories. What happened to Samara? She was like drowned.

Drowned in a well, right? Yeah. On purpose? Yeah. So like I think it's like, you know, they're victims of their circumstances. So like I think it's like, you know, they're victims of their circumstances. And so they've and then they've become, you know, sort of risen into these evil people and that or like killers. I don't understand why Miss Hannigan doesn't count if these people don't even have superpowers. She didn't go through any transformation or anything.

They all went through transformations. And Carrie has a superpower. And Jason was came back from the dead. And Samara came back from the dead. They're both like zombies. OK, sorry. Yeah. power and Jason was came back from the dead and Samara came back from the dead they're both like zombies okay sorry yeah um I had a bunch of other choices that I didn't pick Samara's great though Samara tear terrifying the ring was what was a very singular like her crawling through that television was like rest in peace me it changed it was one of those change shit movies changed

my fucking life it ushered in a new kind your, your life, and it ushered in, like, it felt like a new kind of scary. Yeah. Like, that's what a Japanese horror that Americans hadn't really gotten into before that. It was, like, such a phenomenon. Like, everyone in my school was like, did you see the ring? It was so crazy. Like, I mean, it was just like a moment.

Yeah. Yeah. And the idea that it was, it was almost scary the way, like, a chain letter is, because it was like this video got passed around. Yeah. Yeah. And the idea that it was, it was almost scary the way like a chain letter is. Cause it was like this video got passed around. Yes. And it was like, are you going to watch it? Are you going to watch it?

And like every time somebody watched it and it like. Why would anybody watch it after the first person died? They don't know what it is. It's that same thing. They just get the tape and they're like, what is this? And then they watch it. And then they're,

and then they get a phone call that says, now that you've watched this video in seven days, you die yeah and it was pre-youtube i think so this was like the only way for that thing to go viral kind of was like this video kept going around yeah it was very scary and the people watched it to say like what's that thing like when you walk by like when you if you're like hiking and you walk like along a cliff or along an overpass, that thing where you're like, what if I just jumped? Yeah. It's like this feeling of like we should watch this because it's like crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or in the movie, people watch the video because they're like, I heard if you watch this video, you die. And they're like, whatever, Becky. It's an urban legend. Like shut up. And then they watch it or like their boyfriend is like, we should watch this. It's crazy. And they're like, shut up. No. And then they like are like, oh, you're so stupid, Chad. shut up and then they watch it or like their boyfriend is like we should watch this it's crazy and they're like shut up no and then they like are like ugh you're so stupid Chad whatever and then they watch it and then

they die and it's fucking true so are you following one person that whole movie Naomi Watts oh yeah really Naomi Watts is the main person in the ring does she survive Watts towers yeah she ends up

actually, doesn't she kind of end up appealing to Samara's, she's a mother. They connect on that line. And she ends up appealing to her. She finds out she does backstory on that. She learns why Samara is the way she is because of a bad mother and then she also has a child and I think she

gets to Samara, like they connect on like, I'm a mother. Samara can talk? No. But she's like, and you needed a mother. And, like, they kind of, like, she kind of defeats her with, like, love. With love? She can be communicated with.

Kind of. That seems like a weak monster. No, but she doesn't really. She's still a monster. I mean, she just kind of decides not to kill Naomi Watts, I think. Interesting. Like, they leave it open for a sequel. Like, she's not going to They leave it open for a sequel.

She's not going to stop killing. Is there a sequel? Miss Hannigan was defeated with a compelling song and dance routine. It's true. Who did you leave? I think we both left some monsters on the list before we go to the recap. Vampires, just in general. Nobody picked a vampire. I think vampires are done.

They're played out. They're played out. They're kind of played out. Or over it. Mad played. Who else? Zombies, too. Speaking of played out.

I hate zombies. Yeah. I had zombies. Jason is a zombie-ish. Kind of. But I wouldn't throw him into the zombie thing. Do you want my list of who I didn't pick? Yeah.

Let's hear it. It's always fun. Pennywise? Yes. The Clown. Also, really quick, if there's anybody you want to drop from your list, we do this called the waiver round. If you want to lose someone and then pick up somebody else and put them on your team,

you have one opportunity. My team is perfect. Right now. Allison declines. I'll tell you who I had. Pennywise, Chucky, who I think would be a great choice. The Blair Witch. Yeah, Blair Witch is good. And then this is the one

that I'm debating keep putting on and getting rid of someone is Predator. Ooh, Predator's right on that line between monsters and aliens. Yeah, and Predator's right on that line between monsters and aliens yeah and Predator's like very freakish looking to me like was always sort of

very scary to me as a kid yeah Predator's terrifying yeah though yeah but is Predator an alien? I think Predator's more of an alien

than a monster and not a monster right? yeah yeah I think you were right how could he be versus alien though? if he's an alien as well alien the actual alien from Alien

is called the Xenomorph, so he's not actually an alien. So it's just two different types of aliens. Yeah, Predator versus Xenomorph though sounds like an awful book. Yeah, because Predator versus Alien is like really smart. Freddy Krueger. Great, yeah.

Pinhead from Hellraiser. I don't know. I'm not familiar with Hellraiser. Pinhead's scary. I don't know. I'm not familiar with Hellraiser, but he's a scary-looking monster. Scary-looking dude. Great Halloween costume if you just want to throw a latex mask on. I know. Yeah, that is it. And then I had two sort of weird, weird dark horse choices, which are Oogie Boogie from

Nightmare Before Christmas. Oh, Oogie Boogie. The reality of an Oogie Boogie would be so gross and horrifying. So freakish. You would hate it. Oogie Boogie's made of bugs. He's a burlap sack made of bugs. I've seen that movie.

He's a burlap sack made of bugs. Don't you hate that? Yeah. Yeah. He's awful. Bugs are just, he's just doing flashy, fun, sort of Cajun-inflected dance moves. Yeah. Bugs are flying out everywhere.

Yeah, him without the sack is like one of the scariest things. Ants do that, too, you know? I know. I like that. Have you him without the sack is like one of the scariest things. Ants do that too, you know? I don't like that. Have you ever seen those ants during like a flash flood? And they like call up on each other and create like a being? Yeah, they're like, save the ones inside. Yeah. It's gross.

It's so gross. It's heroic though. It's the most heroic thing any creature on earth is doing. And then my last like weird choice was Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors. I've never seen Little Shop of Horrors. Now is Audrey 2, okay, weird choice was Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors. I've never seen Little Shop of Horrors. Okay, but you know Audrey 2. Yeah. Is Audrey 2 a plant or is Audrey 2 a monster?

I think the teeth turn it into a monster. Yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah. Killer plant, but monster. Yeah. I also love Audrey 2. Does Audrey 2 sing?

Yes. Oh, you would have had that up on Allison. I know. That would have taken away her singing advantage. That's true. Audrey 2 does sing. Yeah. No also love Audrey 2. Does Audrey 2 sing? Yes. Oh, you would have had that up on Allison. I know. That would have taken away her singing advantage. Audrey 2 does sing. Yeah. No. Sorry.

Don't keep her. Okay. Those were all good. Those were all good. Are there any you want to switch onto your official list? Your list, which, by the way, Jason Voorhees, Carrie. Jason, Carrie, Cloverfield Monster, Pale Pale Man Samara from The Ring yeah

also in terms of Cloverfield Monster I also had the Kaijus from Pacific Rim but that's kind of the same thing yeah yeah you cover that yeah

with Cloverfield Monster so I'm torn so Predator we've decided is an alien so Predator is out the door

so I I am torn because the idea Pennywise can shapeshift. Pennywise is scary, yeah. And the shapeshifting is a different element. It's the clown from It.

Oh, never seen it. And so Pennywise can shapeshift and shapeshifting to me is one of the scariest things. The idea that like you could be an alien, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like you could be a monster and I wouldn't know. Like The Thing or Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Yes. Oh, The Thing's so scary. So scary. I almost took The. Like The Thing or Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Yes. Oh, The Thing is so scary. So scary. I almost took The Thing.

That's on my list. The Thing, yeah. The Thing, yeah. The Thing. But it's an alien. But it's an alien. Yeah. Right.

So does it count? I don't know. I wouldn't count it. Oh, so scary. The Cloverfield Monster is not an alien? Yeah, it is. But I kind of. Why?

That kind of feels more. Why is it an alien? That feels more monster-y to me. Yeah. Does it? Do they say it's an alien? Well, it falls from space. It of feels more monster-y to me. Yeah. Do they say it's an alien? Well, it falls from space. It falls from space. Into the ocean?

Yeah. That movie had so much fucking lead up to it. There were comic books and all this backstory. I remember. That was one of the first, like, whoa, could this be found footage? Yeah. They did this crazy marketing campaign for it. I have a very big soft spot for The Blair Witch because of the found footage aspect.

Because it reminds me of a simpler time. Yeah, absolutely. When The Blair Witch came, a simpler time in your life or do you think in Hollywood? Simpler time in Hollywood. Both. I mean, simpler time when like people. But they just made the remake. But no, I'm talking about like when Blair Witch came out, people thought it was real.

They did. No, they didn't. Yes, they did. They really did. The woman in it was an unknown and people saw it and thought it was real they did no they really yes they really did people the woman in it was an unknown and people saw it and thought it was real and called her mother for like months to be like i'm so sorry about your daughter are you serious they kept those actors like after the movie finished before like they kept them hidden like you they were like not allowed to go out in public no press

the creators could do like yeah like they and they made it seem like it was real. They like, I mean, it was like such a, like, pre, now I think Jimmy Kimmel, to bring up that guy again. Yeah. Another guy who ruined like things being, believing in things, because now you're just like, that's a Jimmy Kimmel prank. It's probably a Kimmel prank, yeah. But like, I'm telling you, people, when Blair Witch came out, they were, nobody was that cynical.

Like, people thought it was a real thing that they had found a video of this. Legitimately. And you can't do that anymore. You could never do what they did with Blair Witch. Did you think it was real? I was a kid. So, yeah? Yeah.

The Blair Witch is so fucking scary. The Blair Witch is scary. Do you see her ever? Not really, no. That's a question. No, not in the first one. scary. Do you see her ever? Not really, no. It's a question. No, not in the first one. No. I think you do

for a second. Do I want to get rid of Cloverfield Monster and replace it with the Blair Witch or with Pennywise? It's tough. It's tough.

Blair Witch is also a lady so that would be a really lady-heavy team. Mm-hmm. But then I don't have anyone big. Is that bad? Then you don't have

anyone big. And my team, so big. Your team's so big. Allison's team, depending on how big you think the devil is. And King Kong. My team's more complex. Fine, I will switch out Hannigan for that bug monster. Oogie Boogie?

Yeah, I'll take Oogie Boogie. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hannigan out, Oogie Boogie in. Okay. Just so I don't lose on a technicality okay um that guy sings right yeah he does so you replace it and he is more and he's definitively a monster and a little scarier yes and full of bugs yeah he's a good character he

will add to the story um i will have a whole week ruined by finding a cockroach anywhere in my domicile. It's the worst. It's only happened once, but I saw a silverfish in my shower once. And I haven't bathed since. And I think it's good. I'm going to lock my choices. You're going to lock them in. I'll keep Cloverfield.

You're keeping Cloverfield. Yeah. I think people are going to appreciate your moral fiber on that. I'm not switching one out. Thank you. We left. I mean, we took Bigfoot, but I left Yeti on my list. Bigfoot and Yeti.

The mummy. Yeah, the mummy. The mummies are usually pretty scary, especially if you start incorporating the works of Brendan Fraser. Right. Chupacabra. Chupacabra. Chupacabra is a good one. I went more with those kind of monsters.

One I almost picked and I had to stop myself from doing was the Mkole Mbembe. What's that? It's a Congolese river monster that looks like a brontosaurus. You went real cryptozoology with it. I went hard cryptozoology. All right. Because I love the Loch Ness Monster, but I would never have thought of picking the Loch Ness Monster because it doesn't do anything. I went hard cryptozoology. All right. Because I love the Loch Ness Monster, but I would never have thought of picking the Loch Ness Monster because it's just, it doesn't do anything.

I went crypto. I took, I had movies. I had like the Mothman, which I guess is like kind of cool. Mothman. I wanted to go Mothman. Mothman Prophecies is the scariest movie. Mothman is fucking scary. Mothman is very scary.

I spent the whole story where he's like, all of the sightings have been around like an abandoned munitions dump in West Virginia. I don't like that at all. Crazy military. You'd be into that, Allison. Crazy, like, military dark site. Military conspiracy.

Like, maybe they created the Mothman. Yeah. Probably, obviously. Yeah. Ha! And he's calling people. Yeah. Just breathing heavy on the phone.

Yeah. Mothman. Scary shit. Is he made of moths? He's, like, a man who is a moth. A man who, part man, part moth. He can fly. He's got big red eyes.

All right. It seems, like, a little anticlimactic. It's already in West Virginia, which, you know, is already a scary place. So I think if it happened in a less scary place, the Mothman may be a little more famous. Yeah. Alright, so I'm gonna, but I'm gonna, I'm not

gonna replace anybody. I'm sticking with my list. So just to recap, each of our drafts, monsters. I have Frankenstein's monster, Bigfoot, werewolves, Gollum, and Cthulhu. Your offensive line. My offensive line?

You could run four or five yards of carry behind that. Easy. Sports references? Fun for you guys? I didn't get it. Slightly. Allison Raskin, your draft was The Hollow Man, The Babadook, The Devil, three strong The choices. You went with Miss Hannigan, but has since been replaced with Oogie Boogie from A Nightmare

Before Christmas, and wrapped it all up with King Kong. Not bad. Not a bad list. Better than I thought. For someone who knows nothing. Yeah. Except how to build an interesting story. You brought your tools.

You brought your tools. You're a craftsperson and you went to work today. Gabby Dunn, you picked Jason Voorhees, Carrie, the Cloverfield Monster, Pale Man, aka the hand-eye guy from Pan's Labyrinth, and Samara from The Ring. Very scary. Do I have the most diverse list? You do have the most diverse list. Thank you.

Although Cthulhu's from the South Pacific, so I still, you know. That's true, yeah. A monster of color. A monster. We have MOCs on our list. The winner will be determined by a informal Twitter poll to be conducted the week that this is released. Guys, I really need this.

You can see it. You can tweet it to your followers and completely load it. Because it will annoy Gabby so much. Your list was much better than I anticipated. What did you think I'd have? I thought you would just be like like, I don't know, like Monster Under

the Bed or like the guy from Monsters, Inc. Like you would pick like lame things. I picked cool things. Yeah, you did. The devil is kind of an inspired choice. The devil's a very inspired choice. I really think that's all you need because what's more powerful than the devil? Yeah. Think about that. I do every day.

I like the devil too because he bargains. I like a bargaining monster. He kind God. I do every day. For one. I like the devil, too, because he bargains. I like a bargaining monster. Yeah. He kind of lets you fuck yourself up. Exactly. You know? It's really good stuff. Devil comes to you with an offer.

It's more interesting to watch. Seems like a lush offer. You make it. Great. It bites you in the ass later. Great. Except it's never really clarified what it means if he gets your soul. You just go to hell.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess it was pretty clear. Well, that was it. Did you guys have a good time? Yeah. A great time. Yeah.

This was fun. It was competitive. I think we learned a lot about monsters. Yeah. We learned a little bit about Broadway. Yes. Is there anything else you guys want to say on behalf of your teams that you've picked?

Just vote Allison 2016. Allison 2016. I would like to say that I'm so indecisive that I will spend the next, like, three days being like, I should have done this, I should have done that. So this kind of podcast ruins me. So follow Gabby's Twitter feed for a running self-analysis perhaps. Doubting all of my choices. Of her monsters she's

drafted. That has been this week's episode of All Fantasy Everything. Thank you guys so much for listening. I've been your host Ian Carmel. Tune in again next Thursday for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Thanks for listening. that was a hate gun podcast