All Fantasy Everything - Movie Fights (w/ Zach Harper, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: May 30, 2019

FIGHTS ON FILM. Fights on film. The GVG is joined by enemy of the podcast Zach "Zak" Harper. Episode Guest:Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoopsThe All Fantasy Everything Summer Tour is coming to a city near you! Find dates and tickets at headgum.com/live.Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is jacked up on iced coffee and ready to get in a bo staff fight. Cold brew. Cold brew, man. Pulsing through our veins. Shout out to HeadGum for stalking Stumptown. Seriously. Which I will take as a personal favor to me and not the actions of Marty Michael, who is also from Portland, Oregon.

Well, I'm from Russia, so that's why they have the Smirnoff that I'm drinking. Oh, yeah. Sean's pulling off Smirnoff. At 9 p.m. when we're recording this. Can I admit something a little stupid? Yes. Well, it's very stupid. There was a long time, because I got into the coffee game late. Okay.

There was a long time where I thought cold brew was alcohol. Oh. It sounds like it. Listen, if you get into the late- It hits you. It does, right? It hits you hard. I've sent some weird texts on cold brew was alcohol. Oh, it sounds like it. It hits you. It does, right? It hits you hard. I've sent some weird texts on cold brew.

I've had like five glasses sitting right here before. And like by the end of the day, I'm just like, holy buckets. I got just acid or something. The thing about cold brew is it goes from you up to. I'm sorry, Marissa. I know. Why'd you take the cooler all at midnight? I wanted to.

Throwback. Damn, son. Is that a throwback? Damn, son. Cold brew. It's Batman, dude. It's Cold Brew City. You're up.

Cold Brew City. I'm not drinking cold brew. Ladies and gentlemen, your cold brew Ladies and gentlemen Your Cold brew girls That was good Like a girl I don't want this to go I'm not going to do the voice man

After I heard it I swear You haven't heard it before I've never heard it In my ear I've heard me do it but I've never heard it in my ear. I've heard me do it, but I've never heard it in my ear. Oh, it's haunting.

It's awful. It made my parents uncomfortable. Of course it did. We did the live one and I saw Marissa's face when I did it. I was like,

she looks like someone just threw a cockroach at her. It's disgusting. It's gross. I like that you didn't listen to it. Why would we be making that up? I thought it was a little

funnier than it really is. It's real gross. It's fucking auditory slime. It makes me feel like I have chlamydia. That's for sure what chlamydia feels like. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing just talking about it. It sounds like putting on wet socks. Oh my gosh.

Wet socks with mayonnaise in them. That's how they got wet. Yeah. Yeah, you know, that kind of podcast. Yeah. That kind. Sure.

This is tight. I didn't, you know, this is awesome. Yeah. It really is. Like this one we just recorded was super dope. This one's going to suck though.

It's going to suck, but you guys are so dope that I don't care bring it down I'm really yeah this is fun it's been a fun couple like album coming out

this tour coming together like things are just it you never think it's gonna work you know like when you start I don't know why I even dove down this road

but when you first start doing something you never think it's gonna work and it's working and it's just so cool I never always think it's going to work. Yeah, I never do, man. It's why I did it. Yeah. Joking aside, I never thought...

I needed something to do. I get what you're saying. It started like that. You think about it. This is better than not doing anything, which is what I was doing. It's not like I grabbed a mic, and it turned to fire,

and I was like, well, now I found my calling. Oh, that's what happened. That is what happened. Is that what would happen if Ghost Rider did karaoke? Yeah. Just the mic would turn to fire.

Oh, good call. He would turn to the sword of Damocles, and then he would rip Bohemian Rhapsody. No, he sings Holy Diver for sure. You've been down too long in the midnight sea. What's becoming of me? Ride the tiger. You can see his stripes, but you know he's clean. What's becoming of me? Ride the tiger.

You can see his stripes, but you know he's clean. Oh, don't you see what I mean? You're gonna run away. Run away. Man, this one. Isn't that kind of dick? Well, if you watch, I was just going to say, there's the Big Brother documentary. That's what it is.

That's where I saw it. I forget who interviewed him, but they were like. I think it was Dave England. No, it wasn't Dave England. It was their, I should know this. Oh, God, that was funny. I forget. He's, he's. It's their, it's their scumbag.

Yeah. But anyway, they're like, don't bring up how short he is. So he walks right in and like, first thing he's like, little guy, huh? And then he says something and he's like, I just, I don't know how such a big voice comes out of such a tiny person. That's so amazing. And he ends up wanting to fight him, and he leaves. They kick him out of Whiskey at Go-Go. It's so fucking funny.

When we started saying it, I almost said shout out to Sean Hyken, but rush. Yeah, rush. Sorry, Sean Hyken, for misdiagnosing your weird music fandom. Can I admit another thing before we get going? I'd never seen The Lion King until three days ago. Whoa! Wait, is that what? That's why you tweeted about it?

Yeah. I thought you were kidding. No, I'm serious. But since then, I've had the young warthog part that you guys do stuck in my head. When I was a young warthog! How did you miss that? I don't know. How old are you right now?

I'm 37. Did you cry? You would have been still right in there. I was 12, right? Like 12, 13 when it came out? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe you were a little too old, though.

A little, yeah. No, no, no. You're my age, and you were not too old, because I was not too old. So that's the maddest I've ever been at you. Wow, really? That's the maddest it's ever going to be. I don't know. I'm not going to be mad. It is you wow really that's the maddest it's ever gonna be I don't know you could get mad it is wild

to be that you missed it such a good movie and it was on my DVR for like a year and a half at one point and then I and then I got rid of the DVR

how I never watched it I watched it on airplanes like if it's on airplanes I'll throw it on it's incredible I'm really excited for the live action one

oh yeah I'll be crying I listen to sometimes I'll just listen to Can You Feel the Love Tonight. See, I've heard the soundtrack a lot. I've karaoke'd the soundtrack. I know the songs. Does that make it good to put words? It makes a lot more sense.

It really does. It's connected a lot of dots. You're just saying I'm going to be a mighty king? I just got goosebumps when you said that. I can't wait to hear Beyonce sing some of those songs, dude. Or anything she sings. Is she Nala? She's Nala. Yeah. I just got goosebumps when you said that I can't wait to hear Beyonce sing some of those songs dude or anything can you feel the love that's gonna make me cry she's Nala

yeah and I don't was young Nala Nala didn't sing any songs young Nala did they sang Mighty King yeah young Nala was in there

what is she singing in the Mighty King he's gonna be a mighty king I mean you know the song but it's a split it's a duo they both sing it oh I thought it was

him and the bird it is him and the bird it's Nala and him and Zazu Zazu's in there a little bit but it's N duo. They both sing it. Oh, I thought it was him and the bird. It is him and the bird. It's Nala and... Him and Zazu. Zazu's in there a little bit, but it's Nala and Simba singing It's Gonna Be a Mighty King. No, Zazu's in it a bunch. If this is where the monarchy is headed, count me out. Out of service, out of Africa, I wouldn't hang about.

Nala sings in that song. What does she sing? Give me the Nala bars. I don't know it. Bars. Marissa, will you get my back, please, that Nala sings in that song? I don't know. Do I have a line or two?

A line or two. A line or two. She's got a couple lines in there. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. I think the line is, I'm not singing shit. Like, I think that's what she says. Move left.

Everybody move right. And we're gonna move on. She's singing with him. She's singing with him. Not yet. What did we say when I was like, John Oliver is Zazu, and you go, John Oliver She's singing with him. She's singing with him. Not yet! What did we say when I was like, John Oliver is Zazu

and you go, John Oliver is Zazu. Yeah, John Oliver been Zazu. Wait, is he Zazu? In the new one, yeah,

but his whole existence is Zazu. I thought he was Zazu when I would have believed he was in the old one. Right? This whole show is like Zazu

taking on Donald Trump. Thank you, Donald Trump. This is a strange sidebar. Are you reading about Papoose on Twitter right now? Somebody tagged us in a thing and I was waiting

to bring it up. A founding member... I'm sorry. Have we moved on from the Lion King? Yeah. If we got Papoose talk, absolutely.

Are we done with the Lion King? Breaking news from the New York Times. A founding member of the hip-hop group The Fugees and a fugitive Malaysian financier have been charged with conspiring to violate federal campaign finance law by funneling millions of dollars worth of foreign money into the 2012 presidential election.

Okay, first of all, not the first time I've confused Praz with Papoose. No. That weird bottom beard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you telling me that Praz got Obama reelected? I don't know. What? You read those words to me, but in succession, I don't understand what they mean.

A four count indictment? Oh, God, yeah. You have to subscribe to the New York Times. No, we're out for that. No, thank you. I use that at work. Anyway, Praz is up Schitt's Creek, baby. It was coming.

You can't be the least talented member of the Fugees for that long. I mean, someone's got to be the least talented. There's such a gulf between the two. It's like icons. And then this dude who, I guess, lived up the street from Wyclef. I don't know how he got into that group. They used to play stickball together or something. Is that what it is?

No, I don't know. They play stickball in New York, I hear. Handball, maybe? Used to play stickball. I played some stick that what it is? No, I don't know. They play stickball in New York. Handball, maybe? I'm playing some stickball. Stickball's fun, man. Is it just baseball with a stick? Yeah, but the balls are like these like, pensy pinkies, so they're like little, basically they're, uh... I've never heard that word in my life.

They're called Albanian. Yeah. They're like little racquetball balls, and like, so they're smaller, and you have a smaller bat, so they're harder to hit. But when you get a hold of one, good night, nurse. My grandpa and my grandma almost got divorced because he got involved with a Pensy Pinky. Did he?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. My mom still doesn't like him in the house. Well, under McCarthyism, you know. It was a different time. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on the gram. I am, man. What do you got going onar Melon Jordan on the gram I am man

what do you got going on dude I dropped in I'm gonna do it better this time I have an album out it's called The Buck Starts Here you can get it on iTunes you can get it on Google Play you can get it on

the Amazon version of whatever that is so anywhere you can buy audio content you can get it it's on Spotify and Apple Music I got it right here on my phone Harper's got it right there on his phone

it's so hot that it broke your phone dude did you accidentally hit play I hit play when it wasn't ready my phone. Harper's got it right there on his phone. It's so hot that it broke your phone, dude. Did you accidentally hit play? I hit play when it wasn't ready. Don't hit your phone, man. It'll shatter your screen. Unless you go to that kiosk in the mall and get screen reinforcement, then you're good.

So yeah, pick up the album. And also, we got a totally dope tour that we're going to go on. Totally dope. Totally dope, bro. Totally dope. I imagine that you'll get to those because you're better at it than me,

but it's going to be such a fun... I will. I'll drop them when it gets back around to me. I'm just so thrilled about it. I'm just stoked. In case you guys couldn't tell from that rant earlier, I'm just very excited.

That's great. Yeah. People should be more excited about things. That's why I've decided. You have to stop and be in the moment. I mean, it goes back to that article, which is great, by the way,

that article you wrote, but it's about moments. No, that was your diary, dude. I was reading Ian's diary. There's a lot of Praz shit in there. There's pictures of Praz with his eyes stabbed out. There's a lot of stuff on Praz and Ian's diary.

Prazalin, I call him. Oh, the one I wrote for The Ringer. Yeah, but just to focus on moments. Being stoked on moments. You gotta do it. Got to. Otherwise, what are we doing here? Drinking at 9pm. At Talk Hoops. Yeah. On Twitter.

Yeah. Is the Talk Hoops on Instagram as well? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. It's Photograph Hoops on Instagram. Photograph Hoops. It's a dog account.

Zach Harper? That's me. Fucking Diddy Kong Jr. up in here? Yeah. I don't know. I'm dropping that on you. I like that. I don't know where that came from.

That's not cool. I've been trying to get people to call me Mongoose. Mongoose? Yeah. I love it. I'm going to call you Khal Drogo for the rest of your life been trying to get people to call me Mongoose. Mongoose? I love it. I'm going to call you Khal Drogo for the rest of your life. Mongoose, though. Yeah, Mongoose.

Rattlesnake over here. Rikki-tikki-tabby, bro. Oh, shit. That's what your tag team is? I lose. Yeah, we can be Rikki-tikki-tabby. Absolutely. I'm going to be the cobra.

I'm going to be Rikki-tikki-tabby right here. It wasn't Rattlesnake. It was a cobra, but we can do Rattlesnake. Rattlesnake and the Mongoose. Yeah. Rikki-tikki-tabby. Snake and the Goose. Rikki-tikki-take. Rattlesnake and the Mongoose. Rikki-Tikki-Tabby. Rikki-Tikki-Tap-Out, dude, that's our MMA company. Whoa, Rikki-Tikki-Tap-Out!

Put that on a shirt. Send it to HeadGum. That's that new affliction. That new-new. Everybody be quiet. It's a moment of silence. What do you have going on? You know, our little podcast company got acquired by The Athletic.

Yeah. So we've been doing that for about a month at the time of this recording. That's so cool. Sorry, I slept through that episode I was supposed to do. Oh, that's all right. We sleep through all of them, so it's fine. Let's run it back. It was on my hiatus week, and it was 9 a.m. on a Friday.

Yeah, it's a tough call time. Ooh, and I had an evening before. Oh, really? You were curious. Here in L.A.? Portland, Oregon. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Yeah, it's a tough call time. Ooh, and I had an evening before. Oh, really? You were curious? Here in LA? Portland, Oregon. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Yeah, so yeah, we got that going. Doing podcasts.

Tell people where to listen. Don't say our little network. Tell people where to hear. Well, so there's two different ways you can listen to us. You go to The Athletic. And what is it called, by the way? Count the Dings, the back-to-back podcast. Yes. And our Tuesday episodes are called Basketball Buds. A little play on

basketball, friendship, and marijuana. Oh! Yeah! I've heard of marijuana. So you can go to The Athletic. You subscribe to The Athletic. You can read my writing. You can read Better Writers. I can't read. Well, you just scroll to the bottom. You're on to any Better Writers, bubba la. Well, I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good. Well, you just scroll to the bottom. There aren't any better writers, blah, blah, blah. Well, I'm pretty good.

I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good. Machine gun to death. I like that you doubled down. He's like, there aren't any better writers. He's like, yeah, I am really good. You're right. No, yeah, I'm great.

But like there's other people. I'm professionally capable of doing this. You can't only eat steak. Writers who are better people. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd say I'm like 30th percentile

in people quality. Pretty good, though. I think that's it. Yeah. Pretty good. Well, we don't need to get into it, but you're better than that.

No, we can compliment me. Yeah, you're amazing. Okay, great. You're one of the best people I know. I know a lot of good people. You're looking at three of them around this room.

So, yeah. All right. There it is. I'll take it. Take it to the bank, bro. I'm. How about that? So, yeah. All right. There it is. I'll take it. Take it to the bank, bro. I'm going to take it right to the bank. Take it.

Cash it. Yeah. Close at 4 p.m. I'm going to be there. Good for four bucks. Your bank's open on Sunday, bro. Is it? Yeah. Ooh.

How about that? That's a real money. That's a real money. I think people with real money have banks open 24 hours. Oh, they can bank anytime. Oh, I can't deposit a million dollars on Sunday? No, you're not going to love that. Really, Mr. Monopoly?

Really, Mr. Mysticopolis? Mysticolopolis? Mysticopolis. Last episode, we determined that the rapper Mystical is secretly Greek the way 21 Savage is British. I'm into that.

His name is Bernie Mysticolopolis. I'm into that. Mysticolopolis. Danger was about the economy dropping in Greece. Mystical warned us and we did not listen. Well, millions of people listened. They did not heed the warning.

The EU will destabilize. So The Athletic. So you can listen to our basketball podcasts in The Athletic. And then we have a Patreon for Count the Dings Network with all of our non-stuff. We have movie podcasts with myself and Amin Alhassan. We have black culture shows. We have the Friday Mailbag where we take listener questions and all that stuff. So, yeah, you go to counttheding.com.

And we have a – well, this is probably posting after next weekend, right? See, see, see. So we just had a live show in Chicago. There you go. It went great. You guys sold out Chicago last night, right? See, see, see. So we just had a live show in Chicago. There you go. It went great. You guys sold out Chicago last year, right? Yeah. You guys sold out a lot of places.

We sold out just about everywhere we've gone. I think you guys were going to bring out Ron Harper. That was crazy. I beat up Michael Jordan at the live show. Beat up Michael Jordan at the live show. It's crazy. It's my statue now. Yeah.

Somebody had to take it back. It's your steakhouse now. It is my steakhouse. And you know what? I got more money for you to throw around Okay If you have SiriusXM

I'm on the NBA channel Monday or Wednesday through Friday Thick streams Yeah And I got his login You do You can listen

You do Thank you Just a real Thank you I appreciate that I appreciate that as well. Fuck with talk hoops on a cross platform like that. The G is silent on Twitter.

Cool guy jokes 80. Lucky number Slevin on Instagram. Slevin, clever. What do you got coming up, dude? You know, not much. June 14th, 15th, Blue Room, Springfield, Missouri. June 13th, Vino's in Little Rock, Arkansas. There it is.

June 17th, there is a Northwestern Arkansas date that is still, I think it's at a brewery or something. I will let you guys know once it gets locked down. Other than that, all fantasy, everything. Listen to it. Come to Faded every Friday. Your boy out here. He makes moves. Listen for my dulcet

tones on your radio. Euro stepping through Echo Park. What is a Euro step? I'm too embarrassed to ask in the living room, so I ask now. I step to my right hard and push back to my left to get around you. Why is it called a Euro step? Because they do it in Europe. We never did it here?

Well, we did do it here. It was basically called a travel back then. Elgin Baylor did it a lot. We never did it here? Well, we did do it here. It was basically called a travel back then. Elgin Baylor did it a lot. So it seems like so is it still a travel? No, no, no. It's not a travel. It was never really a travel. It looked weird, so like, you can't do that. But Charunas

Marshalonis made it popular over here. Charunas Marshalonis. So basically, instead of forward momentum, you just pivot with your two steps. A warrior, right? Golden State warrior? Yeah, Golden State warrior. Lefty. I was listening to some podcast. It was an NBA one the other day, and they were talking about Sarunas Marcellonis. It was one of the ringer ones.

Shout out to the ringer. Shout out to the ringer. But they were talking about Sarunas Marcellonis like they didn't know who he was. I'm sorry. Who were they talking about? Sarunas Marcellonis. They got a lot of young people there. But Sarunas Marcellonis, yeah.

And I was like, how do you not know Salami Marshmallow? Sarunas Marcellonis kind of sounds like a racial slur, if I'm being honest. Like, oh, yeah, it's a real Sarunas Marshalonis. We don't like to talk about it. He's only half. You hear that, Mr. Kalopoulos is an actual. Mr. Kalopoulos? Mr. Mr. Kalopoulos is a Shalonis marshmallow.

Mr. Mr. Kalopoulos. Mr. Motherfucking. Mr. Colopolis is a Shalonis martial artist. Mr. Mr. Mr. Motherfucking. Mr. Colopolis. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Carmel on Jewish Alibaba, the Chinese Amazon or whatever. Google, Chinese Google. A Jewish Chinese Amazon? Yeah. That is a specific site.

Very specific. There's one thing on there. They're always just on whatever it is. I dated a Jewish Chinese Amazonian once. Yeah. Beautiful. You have to. Like, I'm along.

You have to. Yeah, I get it. You have a girlfriend, man. Cool. He's nice. Fucking cool. He's nice. People can stand your it. You have a girlfriend, man. He's nice. Fucking cool. He's nice. People can stand your presence.

Fun stuff. You're shredded. You're not just a cotton candy experience for someone who wants to know what the bright lights of being a mid-range comedian is like. All right. That is. I get it. That was so goddamn funny.

I just got chills. Hauntingly specific. I got like a rush in my heart when you said that. Man, say it again. A cotton candy experience for somebody who wants to know the rush of what dating a midwife could be. Shit, I haven't been seen like that in months. I feel like I'm

naked. We're all naked in here now. This boy just got shook. Damn, that was close. I'm a Russian. I'm sorry about that. I get all the meat off the bun. You finally opened my mind's eye. I've been waiting 37 years for it to be open.

Got the crowbar in there. Yeah. Therapy, dude. I'm telling you. Where you can see meat? A mid-range comedian. That was the twist. The knife was in, but then you twisted it when you said mid-range.

You got to be honest. Onions. All Fantasy Everything, if you enjoy our dulcet tones in your ears, once you see it coming out of our big fat mouths, All Fantasy Everything is going on tour this summer. The AFE Summer Breeze Tour. Scream, scream, scream.

In the Midwest and the Eastern Seaboard. And a couple of West Coast dates, too. And a couple of West Coast. West, West, y'all. We had to keep it West Coast. Starting in Seattle, Washington, June 26th, we are at the Showbox Theater. Get your tickets quick. They're going fast. The last show I tried to do in Seattle, zero people showed up.

Zero people showed up. We already have sold quite a few tickets. Yeah, we'll fix that. So make sure you cop those. We want everybody to come. Come up from Portland, too, because there won't be a Portland show for a while.

So if you're in Portland, come up and fuck with us up there in Seattle. Yeah, please. The 27th of June will be in San Francisco, California, at the Great American Music Hall.

Oh, yeah. Fuck with us there, too. That place is so pretty. Tickets, again, going pretty quick. So pretty. The next, and then we'll be

taking a break for a minute, and then July 11th will be in Boston, Massachusetts at the Sinclair. Come fuck with us there. The next day we'll be in on July 12th, Brooklyn, New York at the Bell House. July 13th in Washington, D.C. at the Black Cat. Cop your tickets. They put us in a big venue. Can I tell you this?

Yeah. The Bell House? We did our live show in Brooklyn in October in the Bell House. Amazing venue. Fantastic. I can't wait. I've seen some shows there. I Bell House, we did our live show in Brooklyn in October in the Bell House. Amazing venue. Fantastic. I can't wait. I've seen the shows there. I can't wait.

To go to New York, anyway. To go to New York. Yeah. Where it all started. Our special guest on that one, Chaz Palminteri. Chaz Palminteri, dude. I would. It's just going to be a recreation of Bronx Tale.

He's doing Bronx Tale. Now he just can't leave. We locked the door. Now he just can't leave, Chaz. You got to do a two-hour podcast, bruv. God, that is a tough moment, dude. Now you can't leave. We locked the door. Now you just can't leave, Chaz. You got to do a two-hour podcast, bruv. God, that is a tough moment, dude. Now you can't leave. That still gives me goosebumps.

Now you just can't leave. July 14th, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at Underground Arts. Then brief break. Brief couple days off. Who knows what we're going to do up in the air. Yeah. July 18th, Minneapolis at Turf. Sold out.

Sold out. We're trying to add a second show, but it did sell out July 19th at the Hideout in Chicago, Illinois Sold out We're trying to add a second show, we'll see July 20th in Columbus, Ohio at the Woodland Tavern

Tickets still available at the moment I didn't know I was just hoping to add on But they're going quick so who knows I didn't know. I was just hoping to add on. But they're going quick, so who knows. July 21st at the Magic Bag in Ferndale, which is essentially Detroit. But again, a fairly big venue. Come see us with Kid Rock.

Come see us. It's us. It's going to be us, Kid Rock, and Cecil Fielder. Also Eshaan. And Eshaan. Eshaan's going to be there, yeah. Barry Sanders is going to be there. Barry Sanders is going to be there, dude. Ben Wallace. Stevie Eis's gonna be there yeah Barry Sanders is gonna be there dude Ben Wallace

Stevie Eiserman will be there we're in talks with Chauncey Billups Chauncey Billups big shot yeah Ben Wallace

has gone rogue we don't know where he is Ben Wallace does not have a cell phone no does he have an internet presence the microwave will be there yeah

Kelly Trapuka yeah damn Kelly Trapuka will be there. Yeah. Kelly Trapuka. Yeah. Damn. Kelly Trapuka will be there. Holy shit. Bill Lambeer. Bill Lambeer is going to be playing Bill Lambeer's Combat Basketball on the big screen. So I do radio occasionally with Rick Mahorn.

Oh. This was back in October, November. I mentioned Bill Lambeer's Combat Basketball to Rick Mahorn. Yeah. He had no idea it existed. No way. And then spent the rest of the show. He had no idea it existed. No way. And then spent the rest of the show. They didn't know.

His teammates didn't know. Spent the rest of the show texting with Bill Lambert about this video game. And Bill was like, yeah, the check's cleared. That's all I can tell you about it. He had a video game come out and his teammates didn't know about it? They had no idea. Wow. What kind of world are you living in where you don't know?

If one of you guys has a video game and I don't know about it, I'm going to be fucking furious. Do either one of you have a video game? I'm in a video game. You are in a video game. I see your face. Oh, you're on 2K. I'm the final boss in Mortal Kombat 11.

That's the other part. That's the other one. You just have to make me cry. I'm the dog in Duckwood. You could be the dog in Duckwood. I'm the dog in Duckwood. A lot of people don't know that. It was my earlier, did I get exploited?

Sort of. Maybe, yeah. You're young. You got to learn. That's how you get in the business. You got to learn a lesson. I'm in Tetris. I am Dr. Mario.

He's the L. I'm the four by. I'm actually singing the theme song. I'm real small in the corner, but I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Sounds familiar? That's me, dude. If you could do one international dance, would it be that Russian kind of kick dance?

I used to be able to do it before I blew my knees out. I do the Ethiopian shoulders. Oh. Those things. Yeah. That sounds like a finishing move. They get quick, man. It does.

Oh. My whole shit. My whole shit's jingling. My whole shit's jingling. That's the name of your new album. That's your new album. My whole shit's jiggling. My whole shit's jiggling. That's the name of your new album. That's your new album, My Whole Shit's Jiggling, right there. You can't do it without one of those Britney Spears face mics, so you can say it, My Whole Shit's Jiggling.

I'd love to do the My Whole Shit's Jiggling dance, but I need a mic. Come fuck with us on tour this summer. The American Southwest, Texas, whatever you consider yourself We will be hitting you Soon enough, we just couldn't do it to ourselves In July, but we will be coming through It was all just a scheduling And a routing thing

Also, Swamp Nuts is real I owe him so much money, I can't see him Yeah, that's the thing, I would go through Follow me everywhere down there Our towel. Yeah, that's the thing. I would go through. Don't follow me everywhere down there. Our towel budget. Through the roof. We would have lost money. Yeah, we would have lost money.

I would break even in December. I would honestly bet every dollar I have that there is somebody who's nicknamed Swamp. I bet you there's a thousand people nicknamed Swamp Nuts. In Charleston alone. Yeah. Somebody's married to a dude named Swamp Nuts. Legal name. Yeah. Swamp. Swamp Nuts. Yeah. Legal name. Yeah.

Swamp. Swamp Nuts K champion. It's actually Swamp Canutes. Swamp Canutes and this happens a lot. S Swamp Canutes. Not only that, Ray will do this at the top, but fuck with us on the Patreon.

Join that we love everyone who fucks with us on the AFE Patreon. It is saving. It's gonna, so when this, I don't even, I might have to make some job changes, you know,

and when this tour comes up. And so this Patreon is going to be what keeps me alive. Become a sustaining member of the AFE Patreon. It has. I mean, it's seriously. Help Sean Jordan buy some hot sauce salad. I put hot sauce on everything. Salad?

Salad. We don't have time for this Crystal Louisiana hot sauce goes with everything you know Sweet Baby Ray's is making hot sauce now what? that's probably my favorite

mainstream barbecue sauce they left they have buffalo sauce and hot sauce and it's off the rack what's the difference between buffalo and hot sauce I don't really know I think. What's the difference between buffalo and hot sauce, Sean? I don't really know.

I think they turn the vinegar up on buffalo, maybe turn the heat down a lot. There's something in there. A Minneapolis-based hot sauce, that's fantastic. Crybaby Craig's. It's a habanero sauce. I love Minneapolis. It's fantastic. We'll be there.

We'll be there. But fuck with us on the Patreon. The slack is always popping. We do watch-alongs, mailbags, all that shit. Now, we are gathered here today in beautiful HeadGum Studios. Not just to talk about hot sauce, where you put it, where you shouldn't put it,

and the rogue individuals who put it there anyway. We are gathered here today in beautiful HeadGum Studios just to... Just a midnight whistle from Skid Row. Just a midnight whistle. Is that a sex bomb? Is that what you call a sex bomb? Yeah, yeah, midnight whistle from Skid Row. Just a midnight whistle. A whisper. Is that a sex moan? Is that what you call a sex moan? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, a midnight whistle. Midnight whistle. Yeah, I racked up $48,000 on the midnight whistle. Went to Vegas, got a midnight whistle, left. Left immediately. Drove home. I was out. Same night.

Midnight whistle. You're getting today to draft best movie fight scenes. I'm pretty stoked. Yeah, I'm pretty happy about this one Zach Harper's here for a reason you motherfuckers

I didn't just break in nah I broke in with a purpose I mean he also broke in he did break in he did break in yeah we had the front door open for him

Will Miles was gonna be on this I killed him I had to kill him I killed Will Miles I had to kill Will Miles Marissa had Zach subdued like had him

probably against the wall feet off the ground Canadian hand around his neck yeah yeah yeah and we're like it's cool Maple Leaf around the neck Canadian hand around his neck yeah yeah yeah and we're like it's cool maple leaf around the neck bowie knife in the other hand

yeah is that is that a backpack full of Molson is that a Mountie came in apologizing for what she was about to do

I'm sorry I'm sorry when the red mist descends on Marissa it's fine the red Marissa the red Marissa I like the red Marissa

the red Marissa that's my favorite Game of Thrones character red Marissa if you don't play Marissa. The Red Marist. That's my favorite Game of Thrones character. Red Marist. If you don't play an ocarina and play it perfectly, you can't get it to calm down. That's a weird thing people will take off. That's what she'll say. I'm jiggling, I'm jiggling, I'm jiggling.

My whole shit's jiggling. My whole shit's jiggling. Now the way we determine the order of the draft is with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you, and we throw on a shoot. I'm shooting up. Here we go. I'm shooting from the side. Oh, shooting from the side.

Shooting up. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ding, girl. Yo, this is the exact combo that he won the last time. It was, yeah. That's fucking crazy, man. What type of draft is it? Excellent question.

It is a serpentine draft. But wait, what does that mean? That's a great question, too. All right, let's say that you were back in South Dakota last week. You can't do this again. You just did the South Dakota one. I go there sometimes. I go there a lot.

No, I'm sorry. And you go to your grandpa's house, and your mom brought some shepherds. No, I'm kidding. You go to your grandpa's house, and you go to the basement where your grandpa doesn't go in the basement, but he lets his dogs go in the basement. Keep in mind, your grandpa never goes in the basement. So you go down there, and there's some dog poop on the floor. So you go to one side of the floor, and you pick it up.

You're like, all right, grandpa's old. He doesn't really get down the stairs. You pick up the dog poop, and then you look in the middle of the basement floor, and there's some more dog poop. and you pick it up. You're like, alright, grandpa's old. He doesn't really get down the stairs. You pick up the dog poop and then you look in the middle of the basement floor and there's some more dog poop so you pick that up and then you look

on the other side of the basement floor. There's like a little, another little piece of dog poop so you go pick that up and then you look back to where you just were

and you see some dog shit that you didn't see the first time you were there so you go to pick it up but before you do, you notice some right where you're standing where you previously

picked up dog shit a second ago so you pick that up. On your way to get the dog shit on the other side before you do, you notice some right where you're standing, where you previously picked up dog shit a second ago. So you pick that up. On your way to get the dog shit on the other side of the room, you find some more dog shit in the middle. So you pick that up real quick, and then you go pick up the dog shit on the other side of the room. This sounds like an eviction.

Sounds like a man who shouldn't have a dog is what it sounds like. And then you just go back and forth and do that. You pick up 10, 11 piles of dog poop in your grandpa's basement that day. So it's like that. Dogs evicted that shit out their ass full of time. Basically what it means

you pick fourth in the first round you pick first in the second round. Yeah. I didn't mean for it to be sad. You did it right.

The next one try not to paint a bleak picture of Midwestern poverty. Also also pick up Sean's next album called A Bleak Picture of Midwestern Poverty. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Oh, man. I had to tune you out because it was getting so sad.

I called my grandparents during that explanation, and they're all dead. That was a charity commercial where I'm like, I got to make a segment. I dealt with a lot in the last couple weeks. And that was one of the few times where I've actually gotten it out a little bit. I'm glad. A little lunch after this. Yeah. Dinner probably at this time.

David will eventually tell you. It will sink in that you grew up in a white ghetto. It's going to happen eventually. I've been saying it for years. I'll tell you. I will tell you this. So all my Sioux Falls friends, when I tell these stories, and I didn't personally know some of these kids, but we're in the same circles.

We ran together, stuff like that. And then I go back, and this last trip, I'm like, it's not that bad here. And then we're sitting downtown. It's like popping finally. But then 15 trucks drive by with like Confederate flags and dudes like shouting shit out the window. And I'm like, yeah, that's

good. Is it? Is it like because it's not. You'll see when we go there. It's it's not. I don't know what to tell you. I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you, you have a different picture. But then I go around. I don't think I do. I'm from a small town. I don't think I do at all. I think I have

the, I think I know exactly what it looks like. I'm excited to see what you think because it Just because it's not covered in graffiti I think that's what you think. I think that you think it has to be the beginning of Boys in the Hood or you didn't have a rough life. Just because there isn't little kids like,

I want to see a dead body. You have told me some violent stories. But I didn't have a rough life at all. Not at all. I think you don't have a rough outlook. That I agree with, yeah. Well, it'll be funny. They'll see it.

Anyway. It's going to be great. So I picked the order now, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what I did. We're going to go around the horn again because I want to go first. So it's me, Zach, David, Ian.

I'm jacked on cold brew. Yeah, me too, dude. It's weird. I'm like fucking jacked right now. That whole side of the room just seems very intense. Yeah. The couch is vibrating. Yeah.

But I'm like focused. You know what else is vibrating? My rear view mirror. Vibrating. E40 reference. No big deal. The place keeps knocking down my rearview mirror. I love him so much.

I'm going to go first. Listen to that I'm on 3.0 song, and now I just walk around and I hear him say, I'm an old-ass youngster, bro. I'm a vet. You're like, what? I'm an old-ass youngster, bro. I'm a vet? Now, this is amazing.

Really, it's really tricky. Well, now, hold on, bro. Oh, wait, we're not. We're about to. So that's the order of the draft. Now, before we get to the draft, we have your first bro. Oh, wait, we're not. We're about to. So that's the order of the draft. Yeah. Before we get to the draft, your first pick.

Oh, let's go ahead and take a short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy to younger age. Of course you do.

I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's my wife did everything, but it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do it.

With life insurance, obviously, you want to be a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers, and then they give you your best options. They're just a few clicks, and then you're going to find your lowest price. And their expert license support team is your advocate. They work for you. They're not getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not out there being smarmy. They just want to

help you out. They're answering the questions, handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you. And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about, but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on. Probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews

on Google, Trustpilot from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with PolicyGenius. Head to PolicyGenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could. Let me just

take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. It might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days. And you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this.

But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to make it accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business. No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice little box. And it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code allfantasy at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at

schedule35.co and use promo code AllFantasy. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country. You figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right? You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two Damon movies. I'm out here. Obviously you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because everyone in the world knows new languages. They know multiple languages and we all only know one. Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to help you the quickest way possible.

You know, you speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel. It's a science-backed language learning app, and it's going to get you talking fast. It's science-backed. What else do you want? Wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors. That's the old school way to learn a new language. Babbel, they have these 10-minute lessons. They're quick. They're handcrafted by over 200 language experts, and they're ready to get you talking in three weeks, ready to get you speaking a new language. I should say speaking a new language. You don't talk a language. Anyway, talking is the key to really knowing any language. You have to, you got to do it. You got to be saying it out loud. And Babbel, they have tools. They have

tools on the app where you can speak the language. They'll help you with your accent. There's things where on the app, they will talk to you and then you can decipher what they said. It's all the real world applications that you're going to need to actually use it. You know, Babbel's tips and tools. Like I said, they're grounded in real life situations. Everything's focused on conversation. So you're going to be ready to talk everywhere you go because that's the key conversation.

You want to know how to get by, right? And like I said, little 10-minute segments. They're perfect for, say, someone like myself, don't have a huge attention span. 10 minutes in and out, boom, you're done. And don't just try a word for word. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, shout out old ladies, alma mater, and beyond, they prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college, which, come on,

that's a no-brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there. And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash all fantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at Babbel.com slash All Fantasy. Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash All Fantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. And we're back! Welcome back to All Fantasy. Everything ladies and gentlemen.

Your favorite podcast when it comes to fantasy, graphic pop culture, item sandwiches, you know, Nicolas Cage movies, whatever it is that crosses your mind, we can draft it. We haven't done Nicolas Cage movies yet, though. No, I would love to come back for that one. Oh, please.

People have brought it up. A bunch. That's how nice for you, my friend. My friend, I was back home recently, and I was, okay, sometimes I look at butts on Instagram. Nobody's surprised. My friend Mel saw. Nobody slowed down. Any portion in the car?

I don't remember. I think it was Mel, but I can't remember. Somebody I was with looked at one of the butts I was looking at and I wish I could remember what it was, but they were like, she is Thickless Cage.

Wow. And I was like, yo, I really am. I like that a lot. Yeah. Sounds great. Oh, but yeah, we got Nicolas Cage movies

locked up in the safe for you. I don't need any research. I don't need a list. We can do it right now. I'm good, yeah. You got them tattooed across your stomach, dude. I was going to say, I just got to read my thigh tattoo.

Cage match. Cage match. It's got to be called the cage match. That's what we'll call it, the cage match. Yes. Sean Jordan, it's time for your first pick in the movie fight scenes. All fans here, they draft. You are on the clock.

It's real hard because most of these are number one picks for me. That's perfect. It just sucks because I'm going to be so mad when you guys take some of these. So I guess I'm going to have to go true to me. My favorite fight scene in a movie of all time is Karate Kid. At the end of Karate Kid.

Oh, he hurts the leg? No, that's like my least favorite. I'm talking when him and Johnny fights when they fight and he has the hurt leg. Yeah, and he does the crane kick. So for me, I was heavily, heavily involved in the world of taekwondo at that point. I said it your way that time. That's crazy, really.

Taekwondo? Have you ever had to call upon your training? Don't you dare. I was so, I used to watch that movie the way that like, I don't know what people who are in other shit watch. I would watch the program or whatever. Oh, I love that movie. Blue Chips. I watched a lot of Blue Chips. know what people who are in other shit watch the program or whatever i was like eight or whatever

just sitting there like i'm gonna fucking kill the next person i fight watch mighty ducks when i played roller hockey oh man goldberg was a hero to us all hero man shout out to goldberg had the deli hookup and play gola yeah he, he did have the deli hookup. Deli hookup. You forget about that. He was smashing Stromy. Oh, my God. Smashing Stromy. Pickles on deck. Yeah, man.

Karate kid. To me, the best fight in a movie of all time. Have you ever tried to do the crane kick? I've done it. It's called a chinning kick is what it's really called. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning.

Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning.

Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning.

Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning.

Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning.

Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning.

Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning.

Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chinning. Chin belt test, they held a board. They would put your fingers on like the Shaka symbol for everybody listening.

So like the pink. Hang ten is what you do. You set that on top of your head and then they would set a board on top of that and then move it out. So you had to do what's called a chinning kick. I was penalized for my incredible finger width. That's fucked up. Also my girthy thighs. So they would hold it up.

I'm like LT over here. Big thighs, dude. Yeah. And they held it up. Joe Theismann over here. First try. I broke fucked up. Also my girthy thighs. Yeah. I'm a LT over here. Big thighs, dude. Yeah. And they held it up. Joe Theismann over here. First try. I broke that motherfucker. First try?

Oh, yeah. Shoes on or off? Oh, no shoes, bro. Damn! I was in a gi, as it were. We might have to start calling you the weapon. Dude.

Also, are you allowed to wear a gi with shoes? I did. You used to have Rocky Kim. I mean, I don't mean to the club. They had like wrestling shoes. They had like those little

booty wrestling shoes things you could wear, but those, to me, were for cowards. I don't mean to the club. They had like wrestling shoes. They had like those little booty wrestling shoes, things you could wear. But those to me were for cowards. My favorite director is Guy Ritchie. Guy Ritchie. Yeah. Director of the New Aladdin. Listen, don't say anything funny when I'm talking about Taekwondo. I love to watch that musical Geese and Dolls.

Geese and Dolls. Yeah, dude. There was a skateboarder named Guy Camp and that was really his name. That was for the skateboarder. Now I know there's a skateboarder named Donovan Train who listens to it. Hey, Conor. Yo, Conor Donovan. Yeah. I'm throwing in so much more skateboarding stuff now a skateboarder named Donovan Train who listens to me. Hey, Connie. Yo, I'm trying to do Donovan. Yeah.

I'm throwing in so much more skateboarding stuff now. Guy Camp and Donovan. You'll get that reference. Anyway, the Karate Kid, man, that fight scene to me. The great one. Put him in a body bag. It summed it all up for me. Is that Sweep the Leg?

Yeah. Sweep the Leg. Sweep the Leg. The Cobra Kai were so bad. One of those kids is trying to be good. There was one kid who wasn't a bully. He didn't want to be. In the beginning of the movie, it was that one kid where he comes a bully or he didn't want to be. Like in the beginning

of the movie it was that one kid where he comes up he's like Johnny man just leave him alone. And he goes didn't you break up? No way!

Shout out to Matthew Broussard. Matthew Broussard? He looks like he was in that movie. He looks exactly like the dude I'm talking about. He skied in it. I don't know.

To me it's just such a such a good fight. You just see this kid go from being scared and then owning his shit. Have you watched the new Cobra Kai show on YouTube? We were just talking about it. Whatever, whatever. I watched the first three. Then it's like, sign up for YouTube Red.

And it's like, well, I broke my computer when they said that. You could just do the free trial and cancel it. I might, because it is a really good show. And I haven't seen him fight again. And I'm sure they fight again in that show. I haven't seen it yet. But anyway, I just love that fight. To me, it's perfect.

The crank kick fight from Karate Kid. Yeah, yeah. Wait, I have seen it. Never mind. Yeah, absolutely. He was free on the best night of Frisken House. And it's... I still, it's still on the top.

I'm going to take you down. You're the best. All right. And also, I dare you for me to get a hurt leg with Elizabeth Shue over there And that's my girlfriend Nothing hurts me at that point You try to break my knee, see what happens I love to run the saint

Elizabeth Shue Zach Harper, tell me your first pick in the movie fights Don't pick any of my other picks I have to go to the world of Underground fighting I'd go to the world of the Kumite When one Frank Dukes fights Chun-Li I'd have to go to the world of underground fighting. I'd go to the world of the Kumite. I know you! You fucking motherfucker!

When one Frank Dukes fights Chun-Li. You motherfucker, Harper. What did you think, Sean? You thought that was coming around the horn? What do you think? We're going to go back to those movies? You think we haven't seen movies before? I'm so pissed.

The arrogance on that side of the room right now. Look, I don't have Frank Dukes tattooed across my shoulders. Yeah, come on, man. You are next. That's Chun-Li, dude. You are next. That's Chang-Li, dude. You are next. You are next. Dude, Chang-Li was scary.

It was crazy that he's Chang-Li and then we also had Chang-Li around the same time. His name was Chang-Yao Fat, maybe? No, you're thinking of Chang-Yang Fat. Chang-Yang Fat. Isn't that that dude?

No, he was, Chang-Yang Fat was in the movies with guns. Who, what's his name? Anyway, yes. That final fight in Bloodsport is. Bolo Young. Bolo Young, yeah.

Yeah. That movie, that shit ruled. Dude. Bolo Young, yeah. And by the end of the Kumite, it was like a bowed out mattress. Oh, yeah. So it looked like a skateboard. Yeah, it did, yeah.

And you're like, how? I remember as a kid, like, how are they going to fight on that? He's blind. And Chun-Li, like, pretty much, he did kill a dude. He did. He killed a dude. Yeah. He stomped a hole in Jackson's head.

Yeah. That shit was so scary. That shit was so scary as a kid. And he wore the band dude. He did, he killed a dude. Stomped a hole in Jackson's head. that shit was so scary. Yeah. That shit was so scary. And he wore the bandana. He had the bandana, like, I've taken,

I've killed your friend. Yeah, I'm getting his friend. When he's just, sorry Marissa, when he's just holding it, and he's like, say it,

say it. And he's tweaking that dude's neck. Oh, oh man. That was so gnarly, man. It's the best Van Damme movie. I feel like he was on UPN every Sunday afternoon.

Every fucking Sunday. Dude, it came on so much. I just feel like it was on UPN all the time. You know, that other dude's Booger from Revenge of the Nerds. Yeah, dude. You know. Made him say Mate. It must have been like negative $80 to license or something like that,

because it was just on all the time, and I was always stoked. They play that karate game, video game, the arcade game. Oh, shit. That's how he and Booger get tight. Yeah. They played that in a hotel

or whatever it was. I brought, so that and another movie, I won't say the other movie, but that and another movie into the hospital to watch with my dad when he was in there one time

for something, but he's like, bring in Bloodsport in this other movie and he made him put a VCR in his room. He's a big dude, so they did it,

even though he's in a hospital bed and we watched two full movies. Hell yeah. Bloodsport in a hospital bed. Good afternoon. I don't think we heard you do it. It was rad, man. I love that movie so much.

Get some gel and some Diet 7 up. That's a time. I used to do the splits on chairs like he does in that movie. And then you do it in the field. Oh, you do it in football practice, right? It's a trauma because that's cool. You know?

It is cool. The first time I heard that story was you warming up the crowd for the pilot. Yeah. That was the first time I heard that story. And I was up in that little writer's room and I was dying. That story is so funny. I'm telling you, that was a nice cup of hot coffee to the face figuring out how warmup works because you're not supposed to do stand-up.

I didn't know that. A little bit. You did good. Yeah. But yeah, when he's doing the splits on those chairs, man. And then later in the movie, he's on those two lion heads on the 90th store that built, you know what I'm saying? He's up there on the balcony doing the splits.

God, I love that movie so much. Great one. That was an amazing pick. And he looks out for the ref in the fight. He moves the ref. Yeah, he throws the movie so much. Great one. That was an amazing pick. And he looks out for the ref in the fight. Like, he moves the ref. Yeah, he throws the ref at him. Even with all this, because like...

In the sand in his eyes? Yeah, in the sand in his eyes. And then Van Damme's doing that like... That thing. And he grabs the ref to hit him and he's like... And then he moves him and then he goes back to Chun-Li.

Am I imagining it or is there a sultry electric guitar in the background at some point? Like that... Yeah, there is. Because it's like that guitar in the background at some point? Like that, wah! Yeah, there is. Because it's like that, it's like, kumite. That song's playing a little bit, but there is that. And he's doing the jump spin knife foots with his, doing the splits.

Is that a steep move? No, it's like a jump spinning back kick, but you hit with the side of your foot. So I call it a knife foot. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, I knew that. Do you feel like the taekwondo training that you could and still can't call upon Do you think that helped you in skateboarding once you started it? Yeah, right? Yeah balance I mean a limber for sure. Yeah, and then you know give me the splits on two skateboards

That would be just like three inches off the ground Just going down the street. Oh, what about? You're next like three inches off the ground. You're doing this on two skateboards in a lane. Dude, you could have been Vine famous. Oh, man. That was a Vine.

Oh, it's at a red light. It'll be green by the time I get there. Just seeing you with a split subject. Wow. Balls dragging. Wow. That's a fun. If any of the all family wants

to go ahead and draw Sean Jordan. I will buy that place. Do the splits. Name your place. I will not have my balls dragon

on the ground because I'd love to post it on social media. Put it on a t-shirt. I will wear it. There's so many

amazing artists that listen to this. That would be such a fun thing to see. Holy shit. Oh, shout out to the person

who drew us in the studio. Marissa, do you have that person's name by the way? It's weird underscore bishop on Instagram. Shout out to the person who drew us in the studio. Marissa, do you have that person's name, by the way? It's weird underscore bishop on Instagram. Shout out to weird underscore bishop on Instagram. Hell yeah.

For that tight drawing of us in the studio. Yeah, 100th episode style. Recording. That was awesome. That was so fantastic. Thank you. All right. Chong Li in Bloodsport.

David Gaboria. Okay, so my first one. I'm with Sean. I got to go with my heart. I had something else first, but I also know you guys aren't going to pick it. Man, my first, the fight that I watched in a movie that makes me feel so great, fucking Craig and Debo. Oh, man.

You don't think I was going to pick that? No, no, no. My other first pick, nobody was going to pick. Craig and Debo was just like like it's everything you want a fight to be. They've been building the whole movie and you're like fuck this dude man. And then John Witherspoon is like but you live.

You live to fight another day. Such a motivating speech by the way. It's so good and also let's not forget he bricked him and trash canned him. Because you had to because Depot was that minimal because fuck that dude man you gotta break that dude

he was in the whole park he hit a woman he stole like he's just such a horrible person he's just terrorizing the neighborhood and it's like you know fuck that dude like it was just it was like and it was for a reason and it was on some like the cops aren't coming like Craig had to do that like it was just like it was the it was like, and it was for a reason. And it was on some, like, the cops aren't coming. Like, Craig had to do that.

Like, it was just like, it was like one of the most righteous fight scenes. And then he gets the girl. And then his sister's like, oh, he think he a Mac. And John Witherspoon's like, macaroni. And then he wakes up at 8 in the morning the next day to go on a date. You're like, this dude's responsible. Because what else are you going to do? I whooped the bully's ass, dude. I'm up

at six. You want that hole next day. Training. I'm on the Bowflex at 530, dawg. I whooped the bully's ass. Shouts to Zach Toscani. On the Bowflex. On the Bowflex. Early. In the commercial. On the Broflex. Early. On the gorgeous

Solid Dudes Broflex. Yeah, man. That's just, yeah, that fight was like, it was so good. What do you think happened the next day? Where like, is Debo coming for him? I think Debo killed him. No, Debo went straight to jail. Oh, well, Debo went to jail. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, Debo went straight to jail. Yeah, so the next day, Craig was. Oh, yeah, Debo did go to jail. They got all this. What are his prison workouts like? Like, that's got to be. Just like everyone, man. You caught squats.

Like, I mean. I think he was just like, you know, whiffed in the new fish. You ever been in here before? Come over here. Let me shoulder press you. Immediately preceded one of Chris Tucker's finest moments. Yeah.

Oh, you got his most like memeable moment. Oh God. And that was so great too. That's what you want. Your best friend who's too loud to come up you got knocked the fuck out and then he's like

I steal I don't kill he sets the knife on him it was just like man that fight was it just he'd been building so well throughout the movie

and you just everybody wants it well and his dad cause he oh no go ahead I'm sorry his mom's trying to get in there and his dad's like

holding her back his mom grabs a gun. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, no, let him be your man. Yeah. And then he was a man. Was. That movie's so good.

Yeah, it's really- It's so fucking good. It holds up. You know, D.J. Poo- By the way- That movie holds up so well. Absolutely. If we're talking about that movie, by the way, I think D.J. Poo, I don't know how he never

became a famous movie star. He should be a famous comedic writer. DJ Pooh is the funniest. Yeah. When he's like, shut up, punk, and he does that thing where he goes back real fast. I know, dude. And then when he says, my grandma bought me that chain. My grandma bought me that chain.

And he's like, he's going to cry like that. What about that time you tried to get both R's? He's tripping because it's like, it's both the R's. I love it. He says trip twice in like five, he goes, pops is tripping. You know,

I wouldn't trip. Yeah. Twice so quick. You gotta be funny to do that. Pops is tripping, man. You know, I wouldn't trip.

What about when he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard? Oh, that was different. That was different. Why don't I help me? That's also such a funny, because we're all being bullied. Why don't I help you, man? If it was funny. Because we're all being bullied. DJ, help me, man.

If it was y'all, I'd have helped y'all. But yeah, Debo Craig. That fight's amazing. Great fight. Because it's not even like technical. That's all heart, man. Yeah. Like, it didn't look that cool.

It didn't look choreographed at all. Yeah, it looked like he hit him with a brick. Yeah. That's the motion. Total street fight, dude. And the garbage, like throwing him on the he hit him with a brick. Yeah. That's the motion. Total street fight, dude. And the garbage, like throwing him on the hood of the car,

choking him out. And he's like, damn, that is, I've seen some fights. You know, people do what they gotta do. In front of an audience, too. Yeah, in front of

the neighborhood, though, too. All these other dudes who were like, I guess we're just gonna let Deebo fuck him up like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what we could've done. What are they gonna do? They were scared. I was scared. I guess Craig's gonna get fucked let Debo fuck him up like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we could have done. What are they going to do? They were scared. I was scared. I guess Craig's going to get fucked up tonight. Zeus could walk in here right now. I'd let him hit you once. I'd try to jump on his back or something, but the first one's for him.

I don't believe you. What? I don't think you'd let him hit me. Probably not. No, we wouldn't, but it'd be scary. But I'd be real. You wanted to have a fun little talk about that, but I'm serious. You wouldn't do it.

I know you wouldn't. I'd stand right next to him. Zach let him in. I told you we were here. Marissa would be on a stool with him up by his throat. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Zeus is just saying, I'm sorry. My first pick. What do we got, Cartwheel? If I can draft And you can draft Maybe we can all draft I'm taking Rocky Balboa Versus Ivan Drago Yeah, man

Slunging it out You have to That's another Craig and Debo situation For a second socialist republic You killed my friend, dog Yeah, he killed his friend, man If he dies, he dies Oh, man

They set that up super well, too The different training techniques Where Drago's in there beating fucking computers and shit. And Rocky's running up a snowy hill. Rocky's doing shit that oxen do. That's where the montage parody came from, right? Was that movie? Oh, I mean, even in the first couple. I mean, there were montages and all, but that's the one that running up a mountain.

When I think about the Rocky montage, that's what I think of. Just running through the snow And then Drago's like Runs up a mountain Yeah He's carrying a family at one point Yeah he is Drago's just drippings visgu

Just Drago was like He was like in that Like with the computer right Yeah Where he punched it And the computer like Was like 900

He's over 9000 The computer gave him His lunch money Yeah That's a lot. I know computers and that's a pretty high number to hit. Is Rocky IV

a happy birthday, Pauly? Yeah. It's so creepy. Oh, with the robot? The robot, yeah. Is that IV? I don't know. No, that's V.

No, it ain't V at all. V is back in the townhouse. Is all of them robots? Yeah, because Pauly's back home but everybody else is in Russia, right? Yeah, I think so. Or something like that? I don't know. Oh, yeah, you're right. He brings Pauly beer. Anyway, the else is in Russia right yeah I think so or something like that I don't know

oh yeah you're right he brings Pauly a beer anyway the fight is fucking yeah just those two just slug it they beat the shit

out of each other they beat the shit out of each other he's so much bigger yeah and I forget how does he do they respect each other

at the end I know Rocky like by the end by the end yeah that's what's crazy about Creed 2 to me yeah that was not

we can talk about Creed 2 because I don't think I was going to take that it's not going to matter but yeah so if you haven crazy about Creed 2 to me yeah that was not we can talk about Creed 2 because I don't think anyone's going to take it it's not going to matter but yeah so if you haven't seen Creed 2 but like

so by the end of the first Rocky fight they like really respect each other and it's like well fuck all this shit that the Soviet Union was putting on me

it turned into just like two boxers boxing yeah and then in Creed 2 doesn't he like shove his corner or some shit? Out of the way.

That's what it seemed like to me, right? I don't know. Towards the end, you start to get the feeling it's more Brigitte Nilsson and less... And Drago was a product of his environment. It's a goal kill. He was a Nikola Jokic, if you will.

Yeah, kind of a Jokic situation and then in like Creed 2 it's like he hates Rocky again yeah and like

he's mad at Rocky and wants his son to like kill Apollo Creed it wasn't cool Rock Creed 2 wasn't cool yeah

they were really stretching on that one they could have just Creed was such I was like tight make Creed but then they're

in Creed 2 and you're like I don't hate the idea no... I don't hate the idea. No. Yeah. I don't like the idea. And I love Michael B. Jordan. I love Michael B. Jordan.

I don't know. I call him Wallace. See, you don't fucking... Doug, I've been saying it. I feel the same way. He's not a good actor. If you back me into this corner... I don't think he's a good actor.

He's not good. I think you're blinded by his beauty. I haven't seen Fruitvale since. I don't know. He's gorgeous. He's gorgeous. Fruitvale Station, so I don't know. He's gorgeous. He's gorgeous. Fruitvale Station's so good. He's pretty great.

I've seen him in. He's fucking heavy, but it's good. That awkward moment is fantastic. The only flop that I think he had was the Fantastic Four. That was bad. I think he's pretty bad in Black Panther. Yeah, I do too. He is awesome in Black Panther.

That whole museum scene. Throw me in the sea like my ancestor. The whole museum scene is real corny. Oh, you think that art is cool? What do you think about this? He doesn't say it like that. Kind of says it like that. Listen. Alright.

I just went through my Rolodex. When Michael B. Jordan came on our show, he showed up in one fucking amazing suit, went into his dressing room, and then did the show in a second amazing suit. I'd love to see it. Also, in that dressing room, he got naked, which was probably also amazing. Yeah, sultry. I got a sultry situation in there. I'd love to see that closet.

You know what I feel like about guys like that when they're naked, though? I have to be careful how I phrase this. Go on. Just let it fly. I feel like a beautiful man, whenever you feel like a beautiful man, you're almost like, there is no way your dick looks as good as the rest of your body. I'll buy that.

Yeah. Cause dicks are crazy. Weird looking. You think it's crooked? I think that it is not the beautiful chiseled symmetry. Because you can do stuff to make the rest of your body great. Your dick is just your dick. No dick press, dick curls, anything like that.

Yeah, if your shit looks like it's been underwater for a long time, your shit just looks like it's been underwater for a long time. It's like when your abs are off. You can spend all the time you want in the gym, but if you have asymmetric labs. long time, your shit just looks like it's been underwater for a long time. It's like when your abs are off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can spend all the time you want in the gym, but if you have asymmetric labs... Yeah, I've always thought that about dudes with beautiful body. There's no way the dick... You know what I'm... D'Angelo's dick can't

look as good as his. Have you seen any of those Robert Mapplethorpe pictures or anything like that? He was that photographer who took a lot of pictures of the male body and everything. There are some beautiful bodies with some beautiful penises. Soft penis, beautiful soft penis. or anything like that? No. He was like that photographer who took a lot of pictures of the male body and everything. Yeah. But there are some beautiful bodies with some beautiful penises. Soft penis, beautiful soft penis.

Beautiful soft penis. Yeah, yeah. But that's the artist. That's what the artist is. And is that like a makeup job? But sometimes it looks like an old ankle sock. That's all it is. That's what I'm saying.

Sometimes my dick looks... A lot of the time. A lot of the time. A lot of the time, yeah. Most of the time. It looks like a blimping repair. All the time. Sometimes it's sitting weird. Sometimes you've kind of been sitting on A lot of the time, yeah. Most of the time. It looks like a blimp being repaired. All the time. Sometimes it's sitting weird.

Sometimes you've kind of been sitting on the top of it for a minute. Unfurl that thing. It doesn't look like. I wouldn't want you taking pictures of me. A blimp being repaired, you said. Sometimes it just looks like Ikea furniture that hasn't been put together. Yeah. God's mistake.

Yeah. Sometimes it just looks like a giant full kielbasa You know Oh I get it Cause it never looks bad It always looks great What are we drafting? Fight teams dude

We're about to have one in here That's my next pick Raya vs Drago is my first pick Then with my second pick I'm going to do from the movie Raiders of the what? The Lost Ark. Yeah, yeah. When your boy and mine, Indiana Jones, fights that big-ass Nazi airplane mechanic.

Oh, and he throws him through the propeller? Yeah, yeah. That's a good one. Now, if you've listened to this podcast before, you know that I'm a Jewish. You are Jewish. I am 100% from Mitzvah and everything. I've seen the certificate. And I enjoy

watching a Nazi get his ass whooped. Man. Especially by the coolest, the coolest cucumber in the whole cucumber patch, Harrison Ford. We are so in sync

when you hear my next pick. I fuck it. And he just took that dude and threw him into a really cool looking plane, by the way. Awesome plane. Awesome looking plane.

But yeah, he's getting his ass kicked the whole time, but he's just taking it because he's like I'm just setting this guy up He's rope-a-doping him, you know He's got a whip he's whipping yeah, well don't they like isn't the airplanes like trying to take off Yeah, yeah, well it's it's unmanned at that point right cuz didn't something happen with the pilot Actually, maybe I think forget exactly what happens before it It's unmanned at that point, right? Because didn't something happen with the pilot? Is it kind of going in circles or something like that? It might have been a pilot, actually.

Maybe, I think. I forget exactly what happens before it. But yeah, but just like this big, impossible-looking fucking Nazi dude just gets his shit rocked by Indiana Jones. A lot of these fights are like the big, impossible person loses to the person who looks like they maybe... I mean, that's what we want, right? That's why I go to the movies, dude.

There's only so many stories. Yeah, man. You just gotta tell them in different ways. I love it. But I love... I go to the movies, dude. There's only so many stories. I love it. I love, I mean, the amount of just like, I don't know what the right word is, but like, enjoyment I get of watching Nazis in various fictional

settings get their shit rocked. Like, just when Hitler and Goering get their faces machine-gunned off, Hitler and whoever, get their faces machine-gunned off in Glorious Bastards bastards I'm just like yeah there were people

who were mad like that didn't happen that's like who cares who were just like that like is not how the Holocaust ended blah blah blah

and I'm like shut the fuck up yeah but what if it did what if it did how cool is that you know how that shit ended we took that out let me watch this shit

what's wrong with you dude fucking chill what are you doing with I'm sorry just that specific position You know how that shit ended. We took that out. Let me watch this shit. Yeah, right. What's wrong with you, dude? Fucking chill. What are you doing with... I'm sorry. Just that specific position really angers me. Me too. Especially when it comes from somebody who doesn't have that.

Yeah. Who doesn't have any type of thing that they would like to overcome. Right. Like, I can't have this fantasy world where that happens. The fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. Give me that. Get out.

I hate that. Me and Ivan Carmel watched that shit and fucking stoked. I could feel it. It was awesome. So that's my second pick. Indiana Jones vs. Big Ass Nazi. I'm so jacked up because I was just watching this

shit on YouTube while you were talking about that. My second pick, Django Unchained, The Brittle Brothers. When he... Okay okay first of all i gotta chill take it easy i saw that movie yeah uh on christmas it was a lonely christmas my family was not in the country yeah me my friend andre parker took our white friend colin to go to the movies on christmas day white colin we snuck into the movies on Van Ness, San Francisco Heads,

you've been there, right around the corner from Great American. No, it's not. But whatever. Same city though. Yeah, same city. Seven by seven,

it's in there, you know? And we went and we all saw that movie and we were in there and when that scene happened, it was like, because it's dark, you don't really,

I'm not paying attention. You can feel that it was all the black people, but people were like, like I didn't even, I couldn't even, it was like because it's dark you don't really i'm not paying attention you can feel that it was all the black people but people were like like i didn't even i couldn't even it was like when i said memphis when i said bleak when it was the same thing i was like yeah like it was like and he like and he got in his ass too he whipped the shit out of him he did oh god i'm watching it right now it's right it's like oh, it's like, Quentin Tarantino really figured out racial catharsis.

He did. Probably because he says the N word in so many of his series. He had to make up for it somehow. Because he gets the black experience.

He took a lot of liberties and he's like, if I say this word enough, I'll understand. Have you seen his interviews on BET? They're incredible. He says it in interviews?

But anyways, what? He says it in interviews? He says it in interviews? No, no, no. What a wild paycheck that would be. You look horrified. But he carries a we energy, like an us energy. Yeah, it's really.

But either way, that scene was like, man, it made it like you just. Yeah. The same. I like you like to see it. Not I like fucking with that slave owner. Same shit, man. Why the fuck do I want to see 12 years of slave again? Let me see. Let me see this alternate universe. People got mad about Django Unchained, too.

Yeah. You know, it's like, fuck, man. Shut up. What are they mad about? Well, they think it's revisionist history. And it's like, yeah. It's also not history. It's not history.

I didn't go to watch Django Unchained like, here's this incredible true story. It's not a documentary. It's a fucking movie. You think if there was actually a bear Jew, I wouldn't have him tattooed on my face? Yeah. Like if that was a real guy? Yeah, that's the thing about it. And it's like, we all know history. Like, for you to be mad at the idea of somebody posing an alternative to that is you being like, well, yeah, but I love that history the way that it is.

By the way, you know what else is alternative history? History books in schools. Yeah. That's actually real. Columbus Day is alternative history. Like, the fuck you want to take, where you want to take it at. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, just because you don't have some shit, like, whatever. Also, okay, let's say it is. Who cares? Why do you care? It's a story. It's two and a half hours of, like, here's some shit that happens that will probably make you feel better about this time, right? Like, that's okay.

Yeah. I had some popcorn, and then I walked back into the real world, which sucks. Right, yeah. Well, it sometimes sucks. I snuck into this as 40 after this. I went to Baghdad when I first moved to Portland. That was one of the first things I did. Saw Jenga? Yeah.

I was like, you can drink beer in a movie theater? I'm going to marry a girl in this city. I love it there. I love it so much. Fuck yeah, dude. Jenga on chain. Jenga on chain. Zach Harper, tell me your second pick. That's how many Iained. Django Unchained. Good. Uh, Zach Harper. Talk about your second pick.

That's how many I want. I bet you do. I just have one pick right now. One pick. Just one pick. Well, it's a Serpentine draft. You want me to go over the dog poop thing and bum everyone out of here? I'm depressed in about 35 minutes. That'll be good.

We're on a back. Yeah. Uh, alright. Uh, I gotta stay true to myself here. Quay. I'm gonna go with, uh, ooh.'m going to go with Nick Cage versus the Prisoner in Face Off. Oh! I was just thinking about that.

So it's John Travolta pretending to be Castor Troy. Yep. And he's like, oh, yeah, you fucked this guy's sister. Why is he mad at you? You fucked his sister. And so he has to fight, but he has to be a badass when he fights. He hates it.

And he has to relish it. Yeah, he has to relish it. So he hits him with the tray. He's like, he's going, woo, I'm Gaster Troy! Yeah. But like almost crying

in that moment. And he's got that little bit of blood coming out. He's crying in the moment, but he's trying to look like a badass. I maintain that that is some of the best acting

in an action movie is him trying to pretend he's someone else trying to pretend to be him he can flat out act and Pollock still didn't believe it yeah

Pollock's brother didn't believe it the whole time he's like I don't think this is him like he doesn't buy it people say what they will about Nicolas Cage

when in a role like that that motherfucker can act yeah you know what I say about him he won best actor in 1995 how about that he fucking racked it up that was a year in tight worlds leaving Las Vegas is that what it was can act. Yeah. You know what I say about him? He won best actor in 1995. Woo!

He won it. How about that? He fucking racked it up. That was a year. All the actors in the world. Leaving Las Vegas. Is that what it was? Leaving Las Vegas. With all of them,

he said, yep, you're the best one. Man, he makes like, I mean, we can have a mini Nicolas Cage discussion now

and then we'll have the bigger one later. But like, we'll have the bigger one later. Interesting actors make big choices and he makes big choices. He takes big swings.

I kind of think he's like whatever pool you put him in. If you put him in a good movie and he makes a big choice, it's going to be a good movie. But there's no movie that would have been good except for Nicolas Cage's performance in it. That's exactly true. What's the movie that would have been good except

Nicolas Cage dragged it down? Snake Eyes would have won an Oscar if Nicolas Cage was in it. Yeah, you're absolutely right. That's a great way to put it. If you put him in a good movie, he's good. He makes big choices. He's great. Yeah.

I love The Weatherman. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And Family Man is fantastic, too. Romantic comedy. Good drama. Adaptation was great.

Spike Lee joined. Or no. Spike Jones joined. Spike Jones joined for sure. That's a very was great. Spike Lee joined. Or no. Spike Jones joined. Spike Jones joined for sure. That's a very different movie than Spike Lee. Oh, that Orkin hunting movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spike Lee loved Orkin hunting.

Yeah, they're different. Spike Jones joined. Yeah, they're different. Who? Spike Jones. Who? Spike Jones. Yeah, that.

Yeah. And the emotion, the range that he goes through like you're talking when he just embraces it and he stops himself from killing the dude with the tray and then the guard's like

only I stop these fights like you don't get to stop yeah so he's like locking down with the metal boots the magnet boots they shock him with the little cattle prods there

yeah I forgot he had those Mario boots on yeah and then they become friends right he like when they're breaking out he's like he's like's like, I didn't, I didn't sleep

with your sister. I'm sure your wife and your sister love you or whatever. I didn't do that stuff. You think I did. Yeah. But we need to get out of here. But also that guy did. Caster Troy did.

Caster Troy. I'd be real confused. Upset dude's wife. God, I hate hearing that. Just even in a movie. That's always such a visceral thing for me when like somebody cheats in a movie. I don't know. I mean, I do know where it's from.

Maternal cheating. Just cheating. I'm just like. Matrimonial cheating is like I don't like when people cheat on their like husbands and wives. Such a rough one. Well, the beginning of. Hot take. We're anti-cheating.

I don't like when people cheat on their husbands and wives. Well, I do. Sean, you're next pick. I plug my ears whenever the start of Hit Em Up comes on. I don't want to hear that from Pac. Because it sounds like he's saying it to me. Yeah, I know. It does sound like that.

It sounds like he's saying it to David. It bothers me. I've always thought, like, man, David's really gone through some stuff. Even for me, I think he's talking to you. Harper was walking down La Brea one time, and I just heard him be like, don't talk to David like that. He just had his headphones in. Oh, man.

Yeah, man. Nick Cage. Nick Cage, baby. I wouldn't have thought of that. That's a fantastic choice. That was the first one on my list. Shondre Dawson, tell me your second and third picks. Second pick, Patricia Arquette, James Gandolfini, True Romance.

Wow. Absolutely. I knew it was going to get's great absolutely one of the best fights there's ever been that's great cause that is I just got goosebumps dude I really did

the that's textbook like you're terrified of there's he's just so huge and like he just doesn't give a shit

he's a lunatic and right when she walks into the room you're like he's gonna fuck her up he's so evil this is another one where i've heard it's like a very visceral fight scene yeah and i've heard but it's like it should be a visceral fight he like relishes it he's such a villain he loves it he's such a

great villain that was fucking before the sopranos they shouldn't like that maybe before it's crazy it took so long for him to like get his shine shine because he's so menacing and good in that scene where clearly he's like, he kind of likes fucking beating the shit out of people. He doesn't care that it's a woman either. He just likes beating the shit out of people. He just wants to feel that. That movie in general didn't get the shine.

I mean, I know all the circles that we all run in. Everybody loves that movie. But in general, I feel like a lot of people slept on it because it was just so under the radar. It was like 95 or some shit. Robert Baird Blaylock exposed me to it for the first time and I was like, how did I not know this fucking movie existed, dude?

Sound track. Everything about this, it's so star studded. Also, Christian Slater just scares me. I don't know why. The movie Heathers. Oh, yeah. The movie they go to in the beginning of that movie is the Vista on like right by the where I get my haircut.

Oh, I'll buy that. Yeah. You watch it. They try to make it look like Detroit, but it's like, that's a Vista. Anyway, that fight scene. When like, gosh, he fucks him. Like he fucks her up so bad. And then she starts laughing.

And he's so, he's such a narcissist. Yeah. That he's like, what? What? My hair's fucked up and then she just rocks him with the toilet she fucks him

that laugh that laugh gives me chills she starts laughing I'm like whoa she's been through it man yeah Alabama had her

Alabama Worley's been you think this is fucking that's like well she hits him and then doesn't he get up and she's like oh no

that's the scariest part to me where she's like I did all I thought I could do I did what I needed to do and nope yeah and then when't he get up and she's like, oh no, that's the scariest part to me where she's like, I did all I thought I could do. I did what I needed to do and nope. Yeah, and then when he's like, you're sticking to me, baby

and she gets his foot and just fucks and then, or no, he doesn't lose right away because then he throws her into the mirror or whatever. Man,

yeah, that's a gnarly fight and then she just goes nuts on his chest. The Kershaw cat is so good in that movie. Seriously, man, she rips in that movie.

Excellent pick in terms of your third pick. I forgot I had another one. I was so in there. It's Seriously, man. She rips in that movie. Excellent pick. In terms of your third pick? I forgot I had another one. I was so in there. It's a serpent. You're picking up poop right now. You're picking up poop right now. So I'm going to pick.

I'm going to go a little lighter. I'm going to pick the Anchorman brawl. That's a great one. The big, like with Ben Stiller and Tim Robbins, and Vince Vaughn. Everyone just coming in. Wait, we're talking about the first one. Do they do it in the second one?

I suppose they do, right? Yeah, West Mantooth. Yeah, well, the first one's West Mantooth, and then like Tim Robbins, Ben Stiller. Will Smith. I'm going to take Dorothy Mantooth. No, no, Will Smith is in the second one.

Oh, that's the second one. I'm going to take Dorothy Mantooth No, no, no Will Smith is the second one Oh, that's the second one I'm going to take Dorothy Mantooth out to a nice seafood dinner for a nice seafood dinner and then never call her again Dorothy Mantooth is a saint I'm sorry, Marissa Yeah, that was I felt bad

Isn't there a horse in it, too? Yeah, someone's riding a horse Rick has a grenade Yeah, he's just screaming Someone's running through on fire There's a trident Someone has a trident Someone's just screaming. Someone's running through on fire. There's a trident. Someone has a trident. Someone's caught in a net.

Yeah. It's so... Because in that movie, you're just like... Paul Rudd has a gun? Yeah. You're like, what's going to happen? Like, what, you know, how weird is this movie going to get? And that's one of the fun things about a comedy like that,

is they all call on their friends, and they're like, come on. For the one day shoot. Come do the goddamn movie, Ben. Come. You got a day. You know, get your fucking ass over here. Much like a real fight. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't want to. My wife said I can't. Ah, come on. You're not going to come for one fight? Come on. Get the fuck over here. Yeah.

You know what it is. That's how Russians are. You fight one Russian, you fight them all. They come out of the woodwork. You can say that about a lot of races. A lot of creeds. I've heard people say that about basically every group. Say it.

You fight one, you gotta fight all of them. Come to find out, that's just what people do. Yeah, that's just what people are getting other people back. You can't spell Armenian without army. That's true. I mean, you can, but it's a little tricky. You think we don't know that? It's a little tricky. In Glendale.

Yeah, man. Westman, too. Loving the Armenians. The whole nine. I love that fight. Yeah. That's a really funny fight. And the scene afterward, they're going over it.

Yeah. Rick, I think you killed a guy. That's where that escalated quickly is from. Yeah. Oh, that is. That escalated quickly. I've been meaning to talk to you about that.

You might want to lay low for a while. You might want to lay low for a while. Yeah, what'd you say?

Find a safe house because you're probably wanted for murder. You might want to lay low for a while. It's just so

good. The intros to the fight are better than the fight, I think. Everybody walking up and stuff like, we're

with the Spanish news team, cracking the whip. Tim Robbins kind of has a lisp and a pipe. He's with PBS.

Everyone's weapons too. Because everybody has like a different weapon. There's a mace. There's a spike bat. Somebody has a bat with scissors in it? Yeah, yeah. Like in it? Like in it?

Oh, yeah. That was a great fight. Yep, it was. Great pick. Zach Harbert, time for your third pick. All right. This is a little bit of a throw it was. Great pick. Zach Harbert, number your third pick. All right, this is a little bit of a throwback to the 80s.

Yes. It is one of the longest fights I can remember in movie history. Okay. It is from the movie They Live. Oh, yeah. Really?

Keith David versus Rowdy Roddy Piper. Yeah. They fight in an alley for a good, like, 12 minutes. Yes. And just beat the shit

out of each other. It's two B-Floors. It's not back and down. Yeah, it's just two big two B-Floors. Yeah. It's two beef lords. It's not back and down. Yeah, it's just two beef lords. It's Wendy's and Burger King. That was the second runner up for this podcast name was Beef Lords. Beef Lords. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Got beef. Beef is not what Jay said to Nas. And the whole fight is over him wanting to put on the glasses. He's like, put on these glasses. You're going to see what I'm talking about. There's propaganda everywhere. There's aliens. is over him wanting to put on the glasses. He's like, put on these glasses. You're going to see what I'm talking about. There's propaganda everywhere. There's aliens.

And Keith David refused to put them on. And so they beat the shit out of each other until he can put the glasses on Keith David and show them. It's so long.

But it is like beefy because there's these two beefy, like 80s beefy kind of dudes. They're wearing jeans. Yeah, wearing jeans just beating the shit

out of each other the scary part about a fight like it's always been one of the scariest things to me is when somebody doesn't look like they're gonna stop

you know like when you do what you're gonna do you pepper them up you know you give them a two piece and then they're just like alright what else you got

and you're like shit man nothing this is supposed to be like 20 seconds right especially you're used to the taekwondo there are rounds right yeah right

there's a ref. There's a ref. Yeah, exactly. My mom was there. The amount of times I got kicked in the face and cried in front of so many adults. Oh, yeah. Such a bummer. Good times.

But I also broke the kid's nose one time. No big. Anyway. Oh, wow. And now he can't fight without his mom. But they live. That's a personal favorite of mine from the 80s. And that's a great fight scene.

Yeah, dude. I like a fight with jeans on. Yeah. Team strong. Jeans on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then afterwards, they just go sleep in like a motel room for like three days to recuperate. God, it's literally a six-minute fight scene.

Yeah, it's long's long no music in the background no music it's just just them fighting that's not even a fight doesn't last that long no dude you're gassed i mean you like a fight doesn't last 45 seconds yeah rowdy rowdy piper's never been in a wrestling match that long like yeah trained mma fighters can barely fight like three minutes without taking a break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so gnarly. And can you imagine

if you just happened upon two dudes in jeans going at it from a distance and you're just like, you're like, come on, I'm going to watch these dudes

and you leave because you're bored? It's like, I've been staying too long. I got shit to do. I still got their jeans on. Yeah, the bus is coming. I'll fight someone you let a bus pass.

Dude, I guess I'll catch the 910. Man, that shit is great. If you haven't watched it, watch it. South Park parodied it in some episode, too. I forget which. I kind of think that that's where the chicken fight versus Peter Griffin. Oh, I can see that. They kind of go off that because those are always extra long.

It just keeps going forever. Yeah. I can see that. Excellent pick. David, tell me your third pick. My third pick is pretty straightforward

from the hardcore action movie The Raid Redemption. Which fight? Which fight? It's the fight with the little dude who's like,

I love fighting with my hand. No, no, no. It's just the one-on-one with, oh, what's his name? The little dude who loves fighting with his hands. The guy who's in both. Am I crazy? He's in both. Oh, yeah, no, no. It's just the one-on-one with, oh, what's his name? The little dude who loves fighting with his hands. The guy who's in both.

Am I crazy? He's in both. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in both Raid movies playing different roles. I don't know what the guy's name is, but he's wearing a dirty, he's wearing a dingy white feeder. It's like, it's just a, I don't know. There's not much to say about it.

It's like some of the best choreographed fighting. Yeah, it's just like an incredible fight to watch. Those fights are astonishing. Yeah. Beautiful. All the way. They're so, Ben, it's just like an incredible fight to watch. Those fights are astonishing. They're beautiful. All of them, dude. They're so... Then that's another case where you're like, these motherfuckers are just fighting.

They are just fighting. They keep hitting each other, keep standing up, keep going at it for minutes. And gnarly, gnarly skilled fighting. Yeah. Oh, it's so... The Raid of Redemption is the first one, right?

No, that's the second one. Raid's the first one. That's why I it's so, I love it. The Raid of Redemption is the first one, right? No, that's the second one. Oh, Raid's the first one. The Raid and then the Raid of Redemption. Okay, yeah.

The second, is it, I don't want to step on anything, is it the one where they're in the snow? No. No? I've still yet to see

the second Raid movie. Are you serious? I know that's crazy, it just never happened and I love the Raid, the first one. We what? Didn't we go to the theater

and see it? We did, we went to the theater. I mean, listen, it's another Raid. Yeah. It's a lot like the first one. We what? Didn't we go to the theater and see it? We did. We went to the theater. I mean, listen, it's another raid. Yeah. It's a lot like the first raid, but it's a-

Yeah, it's very similar. It's a second one. It's more the first? Two scoops? Two scoops. Two scoops. Yeah, yeah. Dude, there's-

And my fight's so fun because the guy prefaces it. He's like, no, this is how I want to do it. I want to kill you with my hands. God. And the other guy's all tired, and he's like, this is the way I prefer to fight. And you're like, you've already gotten in like six fights today. Psycho, you got to take a little bit off.

Yeah, I know what fight you're talking about. It took me a second because they're all crazy. It's basically like me doing that is picking that movie The Raid. Which is just like some of the illest when he comes down over jack over the doorstop oh yeah that shit pulls his fucking jaw down for that and

it just goes boom right up his jaw that movie yeah the raid not much else to say no that's hell yeah just a hardcore killer i love it bruvs time for my third pick yeah speaking of bruvs oh yeah don't you dare speaking of bruffs yeah you fucking dickhead the movie is The Kingsman yeah I bet it is and the move

I'm taking the one they're in the pub Colin Firth walks over yeah god damn it man of course it's one of I mean I don't

it locks the door and it's one of the he like tells them to leave tells them to leave now they can't leave and then he just fucking goes to town on them. Are we going to talk all day or are we going to have a fight?

Yeah, we're going to talk all day. Yeah, God fucking says it. And they're like, what? Awesome. Yeah. Because they're just looking at him like, this fucking coward. Right, because he's a fucking proper English gentleman. And then he just fucking beats the shit out of him.

It's beautiful. It's so well choreographed. When he gets the mug of ale in the hook of his umbrella and just whips it at him, that's how he starts the fight? Oh, God. I love a calm start to a fight. I love a very like, oh, okay. It's the scariest. It's the absolute scariest.

Yeah, because it's like, this is chaos. You should be behaving as such. When you're calm in the chaos, oh, no. There's five of them. There's one of him. And he's got a suit on. And an umbrella. And an umbrella.

Good fucking. And he's old. That was the, we talked about this. A bespoke suit. The cell on Kingsman where they're like, all right, Colin Firth could be a tough guy. I was like, come on. What are you selling me here? Colin Firth, dude?

Then I'm fucking, I'm in. Cuban corduroy, Colin Firth. Dude, I'm in for all those movies. They got another one coming out. I know. Like, two years or something. When they dropped that one, Disney, whatever,

was like their 10-year plan, and I saw Kingsman on there, I was like, oh! I'm in for 60 of those movies. Right? Oh, yeah. Keep making them for the rest of the month.

Keep making them. I don't give a fucking look. Get that shit with the land before time, dude. Like, just keep it going. Just tell me how many I gotta go to to make it economically viable, and I will buy that many tickets. Yeah, 100%. I love those movies so much. I'll buy a t-. Just keep it going. Just tell me how many I gotta go to to make it economically viable and I will buy that many tickets. I love those movies so much.

I'll buy a t-shirt, keep it in the room. I won't wear it, but I'll buy one. I'll buy like a Kingsman themed martini set. I'll buy a coffee mug. I'll buy a Kingsman umbrella.

Yeah, yeah. Sell that shit. I'd use that. I'd use that if I wasn't, you know. You would, man. None of us would. I don't use umbrellas, David.

We live in Southern California. I don't believe in umbrellas. I don't really get the point of them. I mean, I understand why they're there. An umbrella? In the Northwest, you've got to have one. I'm sure, but I would never own one. We don't really fuck with them.

I mean, some people do. But in Portland, it's like, you just get wet, man. Put the hood up. Unless you're a really nice dresser, like Colin Firth, and then those people do rock them. Then you got it. Man, that was, because, so, with Kingsman, I thought about other choices in that movie, and I'm like, that was, that's the movie.

No, that's the one. That's the one. For sure. It's so good. Oh, yeah, that's my favorite one. Yeah. Yeah, that's such a good fight. I'm going to keep it.

This is like a movie. I'm going to, so, for my fourth pick. Oh, boy. I love it. I love that, like, I'm going to, all right. Yeah. Fucking. Wait, it's your fourth pick? It's my fourth pick... I love it. I love that. Like, I'm gonna... Fucking... Wait, it's your fourth pick? It's my fourth pick.

Fourth? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The movie is one of the Star Wars prequels. The Attack of the Clones. Uh-huh. When fucking Yoda... Oh, yeah. Is it Count Dooku or whatever?

Well, wait. No, not Palpatine. It's Dooku. It's Count Dooku. Dooku, yeah. And it's the first time you see Yoda fuck shit up

when he's in the somersault he walks in it's Amos and all of a sudden he just like strolls in he has his cane

he walks in he has his cane first it's go time and then he's a fucking pinball with a lightsaber coming out of it

and it's amazing he just whips shit the build up on that cause I remember we downloaded that off Kazaa we got the fight scene and the build up is they do I remember we downloaded that off Kazaa we got the fight scene and the build up

is they do some force shit and Duke was like apparently this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the force but rather our skills with a lightsaber and you're like

duh because Yoda they didn't have the CGI for him to fuck shit up back in the day and it's like I feel like because of that there had been

when the new movies came out there was so much like waiting on like, man, I know Yoda's going to like snap. Yeah. It's some point in this franchise. Because,

you know, he had to earn it. Like, we had to know what he was going to do. We had, so you knew it was coming when it came. He was spinning. And he had a tiny little shadow,

and he's like, ah! And then just flipped. Like, what do you say? Like a pinball with a light saber coming out of it. It was like a furry little greenball light saber you can't train killers if you

haven't killed no exactly that's the most cold blooded thing yeah man I don't want to know

the circumstances you first heard that well that was Khal Drogo talking it was overseas it was overseas yeah that's eastern

block shit I was in the movie theater just like Mountain Dew Slurpee pumping through my veins just like, just like kill him. It was fucking, I was so amped, man. One of the fun things about going to those movies in the theater was everybody was on board to like yell during those parts. Yeah. Like when that happened, I was like, fuck yeah, like screaming. I sure was.

Yo, dude, that guy was a puppet 20 years before that. A puppet. For real. Puppet, bro. Puppet. Puppet. Yo, dude, that guy was a puppet 20 years before that. A puppet. For real. Puppet, bro. Puppet. Puppet. Ooh, a puppet. That was, man,

I missed that. I missed that pick. That was the first thing I thought of, but I also knew I could get it later. Yeah. David, time for you

a fourth pick. You know what? I just, I've rewatched this fight in this movie so many times. I'm taking the Uma Thurman, Vivica A. Fox. Yeah.

In the kitchen. Beatrix Cadeau. In the kitchen, into the living room. Verna Green or something like that. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Codename Black Mamba. Yeah.

Yeah, that shit was hard, dude. Well, they're like knife fighting with kitchen knives. And then a little girl comes in. And then they stop and she's like, hey, sweetie. And then she goes back in and then she tells her like, she's like, someday you're going to try to find me. I killed your mother. The word is that's going to be Tarantino's last movie.

The last kill bill. What I heard is that when she, she's probably an adult by now, but I, I hope I'm not making this up. It's one of those things that, you know, but I don't know how I know it. Cause he said he's only going to make 13 movies or something like that. So the word is, when she grows up to be of age to kill Uma Thurman,

that's going to be his last movie. It's going to be the battle of those two. Oof. I mean, that'd be tight, dude. Yeah. Yeah, that movie. With the actual little girl? Yeah.

I think... If you can combine those two, that's my favorite Tarantino movie. Like, that's what I fuck with the most. Just because the world he sets in that movie is so Tarantino, and it's so beautiful and cartoonish, but still like, yeah. But yeah, that fight is just- What does she do?

She pulls a knife out of the cereal? Or she pulls a gun out of the cereal? She pulls a gun out of the cereal. She shoots through the cereal, right? There's cereal everywhere. Yeah, that was one of the fun- Cereal everywhere, and you're like they're in a kitchen

and I just love them like once again coming in calm to a fight I love that whole talk in the kitchen

because they're both so well trained yeah and it's just like they're having a sweet like oh look at your and you're just like

she's gonna stab and they know they're looking at each other they know they know what's about to go we're gonna

fucking fight and not just fight like maybe the fight of our lives. Yeah, run rules, but then we'll fight. Yeah. Oh, because what did she say? Like, let's meet and do this like gentlemen or like civil people. She's like, bitch, you came to my house.

Yeah. You're going to kill me in front of my daughter. We'll meet at midnight or whatever. And then she pulls the snake move and tries to cap her. Yeah. She pulls the black mamba and she's like, now we got to get it. Yep. Yeah.

I've watched that movie so many times where I rewound that fight. That movie's why I would never get a glass coffee table. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It just looks,

oh, man, you feel it on your back. Ooh. Man. Yeah, dude. Some of the domesticity of the domesticity, I said it right

the first time. Domesticity. Domesticity of the car city. The domesticity of the domesticity. I said it right the first time. Domesticity. Mysticalopolis. Mysticalopolis. Domesticity. Mysticalopolis. Mysticalopolis. Oh, yeah.

Havasiti. Yo, what are you all in the world? How are you all in this order? Shout out to fucking Armenia, dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah. System of a down. System of a down, dude.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, but just like, because the rest of, you know what I mean, some of those fights later happened in, like, a Japanese dining hall where you're like, yeah, because I've seen fights in here before, but it was, like, I don't know, in, like, a well-lit, looked like a Desperate Housewife set. And it wasn't a huge kitchen. It was, like, tiny.

No, it wasn't a big kitchen. It was just, like, especially with the island, it was, like, small. Yeah. Yep. Harper, time for your fourth pick. Man especially with the island. It was like small. Yeah. Yep. Harper, time for your fourth pick. Well, man,

can we go six rounds? This is so fun. You mentioned, uh, you mentioned the world that kill bill creates, right? That you love that. Yes.

My favorite world in a movie or movie franchise, Jurassic world. It's Jurassic. I'm picking the TV. I'm taking the emotional fight. Yeah. Uh, basically the breakup between Bryce Dallas Howard

and Chris Bryant total Shane pig right there oh you know the emotional fight no we'll talk about Shane on the podcast dude do not talk about Shane on the podcast

I already cried he got mad at me yeah no my favorite my favorite world sorry Shane my favorite world is the John Wick world

oh thank you hell yeah and so him I'm surprised you went this far him versus the Russian mob at the Red Circle My favorite world is the John Wick world. Oh. Oh. I'm surprised you went this far. Him versus the Russian mob at the Red Circle where he goes through the bathhouse at the bottom. It's my favorite kill in the movie. One of those dudes is Theon Greyjoy. Yeah. And the other one is Connerty from Billions. Oh, shit.

Yeah, from Billions. So anyway, just had to throw it in. Which one's your favorite kill? My favorite kill is, so he's in the bathhouse part and he comes around the corner. The guy has just checked in saying all clear and he stabs him

through the bottom of the mouth and he like slides down with the dude and just stares him in the eyes and watches him die. And that is like, it still gives me chills every time I watch it.

You guys can see where Harper's eyes are? Yeah. My eyes, you'd see something I can't. I don't know where he's at. I'm in Russia eyes are. Yeah, no. My eyes, you'd see something I can't. It's like, I don't know where he's at. I'm in Russia right now. Yeah.

Harper looked at me and I saw how I was gonna die in his eyes. And then, no, and then he just goes through, he tries to get Theon Greyjoy, can't get him,

then goes through the entire club, fucks up everybody, shooting people on the dance floor. It's not even close, dude. Yeah. It's crazy. Everybody, like,

and there's just, it's fucking headshots, like it's a Sears photography place. My favorite thing about Johnny. It's not even close, dude. It's crazy. Everybody, like, and there's just, it's fucking headshots, like it's a Sears photography place. My favorite thing about Johnny. It is amazing. It is great. When did you write that? That was awesome.

I made that tweet from 2014. But it is, it's just like, and then he gets dropped, like he loses the fight because he gets dropped off that balcony by like the head security guy

and like gets, he gets stabbed in the stomach with a broken champagne bottle. Like, it is the best fight. Like, that is my favorite fight. It's one of those fights that when you're watching it, you don't even realize you're flexing. Yeah, no. Like, your jaw is tight. What a good call.

You don't even know until it's over. You're like, fuck, dude. That and John Wick, I mean, obviously every fight, but like his double tap is just the best. Like when they show. Yeah. And they don't, because I've watched, they don't miss. He doesn't miss any. He double taps everybody.

There's an infographic of the kills he does in the first one where it shows you like he's like 97% accurate on his shots. He gets it done. All the head shots and everything. And he, I think he trained for like six months with guns. Really? Yeah, because he has the gun cocked to the side. Yeah. Which I guess is actually very tactical.

Yeah. No, he like legit trained with guns so that he could do all the stunts and everything. Is it technical? Yeah. It's at an angle, not that tall side.

Oh, but it's not like, it's not like the. Yeah. It's like 45 degrees. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Keanu's fucking awesome, hood. It's like 45 degrees of that. Yeah, wow. Yeah. Keanu's fucking awesome, man.

He really is. He's supposed to be such a... One of the insidery showbiz things, I mostly just hear good stuff, and one of them from everybody is that just Keanu is a great dude. Two big dicks. But when he's had...

I think he had kind of a rough shake early on with personal life, and I think someone passed. His fiance died, and his family died – I think he had kind of a rough shake early on like with personal life. He's like – His fiance died and his like family died. Like a bunch of – yeah. And it's just apparently like on The Matrix, he made so much money because he got back in points and there were three of them. Dude. He found out that like the people in the graphics department just got paid regular – they didn't make any extra money because the movies were such a huge hit.

And he was like, well, that's the whole movie. Right. It's the graphics. Yeah. So he paid them like apparently through the whole department. I heard something crazy

like gave them like $30 million. Oh my God. Or something like that. How many people? I don't know. But wait, let me look that up. We gotta get a computer. That's what I would fuck.

I got a little laugh from Marissa. That's the best moment I've ever had on a podcast. It feels great, right? Isn't it fun? It's just like, it's that serious. The Marissa laugh is the best. It's like getting passed by Mitzi. You're like, all right.

I'm doing 10 minutes on Fitted next week just off that. Calm through. Man. Yeah, that movie. John Wick, man. So I love that movie franchise so much. The first one, I hadn't seen any trailers. I was like, oh, Keanu in an action movie.

I'm going to go watch it. I just happened upon it, too, the first one. Yeah, I happened upon it, loved it. Second one, I see all the trailers. And I still love the second one, but there was something I feel like I'd seen. Common was the bummer part. Well, Common's in it. Him trying to speak Italian I could go without.

in it. Him trying to speak Italian I could go without. It's just but it was a little disappointing in that I'd seen so much from the trailer so I've avoided the trailers for John Wick 3. I've not watched You know how hard that is to do? To cover basketball when that trailer's

on every other five minutes and I just turn my head and mute the TV like it's been hard but I have less than a week left until this movie comes out and then I'm going to... It's almost there. It comes out Thursday night. By the time you listen to it,

you've seen it four times already. Yeah, I'm into it. Yeah, that'd be awesome. So I looked up the Keanu Reeves. He gave up points, so he didn't cut a check for $30 million, but he gave up points on his deal so they could keep paying

the graphics department, which is awesome. Yeah. You sound so like cliche or, but you'd like, you want to, you like hearing that and you like to think you would do that. Staring down the barrel of like 50 mil,

who knows what you would really do. I like to think I'd peel like 50 grand. He only came on our show cause he's friends with that guy, Peter Stormare. Who's in a, you know, he's in the Big Lebowski. He's like the Carl Hungus in the Big Lebowski.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, so he's good friends with him, and they did a show together. I think his name is Peter Stormare. Peter Stormare. What a cool name. He was like, will you come on the show with me? And Keanu was like, yeah, I'll come. So then Keanu did the Late Late Show, man.

God, that's awesome. What a fucking G. Sean, time for your John Wick movies. Fucking A. Your fourthavrior, but yeah, the John Wick movies. Fucking A. You're fourth in your final picks? Man, I'm bummed. You guys didn't pick pretty much any of mine. This sucks, dude.

Oh, so it's like any draft. Cheese. Cheese and a pocket full of cheese, this guy. You know I love you. I do. I know. I don't, dude. I was just watching Wedding Graduates last night. When he goes, I'm going to choose not to eat love you. I do. I know I do. I was just watching Wedding Graduates last night.

One of you goes, I'm going to choose not to eat with you. Kimo Sabe's going to refuel. Something about his flavor. Then we're going to close some ass. Then he goes over and sits down and he goes, hey, can I tell you something? He goes, what? He goes, I love you. And he goes, I do.

He just shoved a whole muffin in his mouth. The biggest breakfast you've ever seen. Just pour syrup on everything. Yeah, on everything. Can you pop that top on that syrup, please? Now I'm going to choose not to eat with you. Recharge the battery. You're going to eat alone?

Yeah. I'm going to go recharge. Yep. All right. So I know that I want this one. So it's going to be Lethal Weapon, Mel Gibson versus Mr. Joshua. The very first Lethal Weapon where they, so Mr. Joshua was Gary Busey's character. Yeah.

And it's, it's always been one of the, cause it's another one of where they build this movie. Like they, they're both like tactical train, like what, I don't know, not Navy SEALs, but something like. They recognize the tattoo. Special forces. Whatever. Yeah.

Special forces. So they're both special forces. I needed that to remember that. The whole movie's building up to it. So then they catch Gary Busey and, he goes to Riggs, or Mel Gibson, and he goes, want a shot at the title, Riggs? And so there's all these cops. There's like a whole ring of people, and they're like,

and Mel Gibson's like, I'm going to go fight him. So they just fight. Gary Busey knows he's fucked. He knows he's arrested. He knows that he's not going to get to kill Riggs, but they just fight because they're both like, they hate each other so much. Yeah, front lawn.

And they just fucking fight. Then there's like all these kind of weird natural elements with like the puddle where he tries to drown rigs in a puddle. Nobody steps in. Like Danny Glover's about to pull that gun out and everyone's like, nope, let him. It's like Friday. Like, just let him fucking do it. Let's see.

And then he beats his ass and it's just, it's just macaroni. He thinks he a mac macaroni such a dad ass thing to say macaroni but yeah just that fight

it's in the rain it's outside it's in someone's house and imagine being a neighbor where you're like what the fuck

is going on why are all these cops my kids are here bro you know what's a scary villain name

Mr. Joshua that's a scary villain name my friend Frat caught a snapping turtle at the Sioux River, named it Mr. Joshua. He did live in a white ghetto. Like, absolutely. Yeah, man, Mr. Joshua.

We used to feed him mealworms. But yeah, there's a scene in the movie where he's like, you guys, you're hiring mercs. He's like, Mr. Joshua, let me see your arm. And he holds his arm out. He just holds a lighter to it. Oh, yeah. That was scary. He just holds it.

And you just see Gary Busey going like wincing in pain, but not moving it. And then you're like, man, Mel Gibbs is going to fight that dude at the end of this movie. It's an amazing fight. I just, I love it. It's great. So yeah, there's that. Excellent. And your final pick?

I know. I forgot he had one more. I know, dude. it. That's great. So yeah, there's that guy. Excellent. And your final pick? I know. I forgot he had one more. I know, dude. I got too caught up in Joshua. Joshua Tree. Mr. Joshua Tree. That's his last name in the movie. Mr. Joshua Tree. Mr. Joshua Tree is a different dude. No, no, no, we're not going to fight. We're going to say a prayer to the rainwater. The lighter thing is the same, though.

The lighter thing is the same, right? Mr. Josh, that might have to be an Instagram handle for a day. So it's hard between two. There's two that I want. I guess I'll pick this one just because this one's fun.

I'm going to pick Arnold Schwarzenegger and Predator fighting at the end of Predator. That was just... Especially after Predator iced Carl Weathers. Smile,, Predator just manhandling. Especially after Predator ice Carl Weathers.

Smile, you motherfucker. Just manhandling him, throwing him like yards, and then like Arnold Schwarzenegger still being like, you're one ugly motherfucker. You're one ugly motherfucker. When Predator takes it,

that's the thing, like it humanizes Predator because he's a hunter, or it's a hunter, and it takes its mask off, and it's just like, oh, that means you want a fist fight. What noise does the predator make?

Huh? What noise does the predator make? That was pretty good. That's pretty good. Did that come up? Did you like it? No, she loved it. She loved it.

I got confused. That's probably the best I've ever done. That's pretty. Hold on. Ooh! That is... Predator might done. That's pretty. Hold on. Ooh! That is... I like how excited you are. That is the opposite of your Ken Kniff voice.

Yeah, it is! You didn't do that one, ever. That usually doesn't work that well. Man, that was tight. It's amazing. Arnold's all dirty. Come kill me! I love a dirty brolic dude. I'm saying, dude,

we talk about it all the time, but those movies, they're always dirty. They gotta be. The dirtier the dude, the better the movie. You can't be that hot. I mean, dirty.

And when Predator gets wise to his game, he's like, come kill me. Do it. And then he doesn't come down. How does he end up, what ends up happening?

Because he flanks him. They become friends. Yeah, no, they open up a yogurt shop. Yeah. What's the yogurt shop called? Is this a wiener joke? No, I was trying to think of a pun.

Maybe they open up a bakery called Breaditor. Oh, there we go. A professional fucking head over here. How about that? Fuck yeah. They open a collections company called Creditor. You're paying up. They made an infomercial

for something that can slice and dice called Get to the Chopper. I was not even going to say the shredder. Yeah, that sounds awesome. I didn't even think of that I didn't even think of that I was so focused on get to the chopper Dude if Zach got cut we could call him the shredder

Why don't we do it anyway Yeah he is more bollocked and cut He's just beefy. He's beefy, dude. He is beef-er-on. He is beef-er-on, and he is because he's eating Wendy's right

now. You'll notice how my sleeves hang down because my arm doesn't fill out the sleeves. Do your sleeves hang down? Sleeves are screaming.

Oh, no. Zach's sleeves. You said he's eating Wendy's right now? Whenever someone's listening to this, he's eating Wendy's right now.

That's accurate. In all honesty, he drove me home last night, and we got Wendy's. Yeah, I'm saying, dude. Whatever, that's accurate. In all honesty, he drove me home last night and we got Wendy's. Yeah, I'm saying, dude. You guys said you were going to go somewhere and I really wondered

where you guys were going to go. And by the way, I know it's closer to Blue Rooster than most places, but like... Wendy's is? The Wendy's in LA is far. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. We had one on Melrose, dude. It's hard to get to. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard to get to Wendy's in LA. We're lucky that the one is right by Blue Rooster. It just works out.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, but he'll come home to Glendale with it. And I'm like, you weren't anywhere near a Wendy's. He has a nickname. He calls it the Fiery Redhead, he calls it. Yeah. He does call it that. Forgive me if I've told this, listeners.

But one time, Zach had a bunch of tennis rackets. And he asked if I would go to his apartment, grab them, and return them. And he goes, return them to the Fiery Redhead, he said. And so I went. And I looked at the place, like the streets he gave me. And I was like, there is not, I texted him. I was like, there's not a place called the fiery redhead. There's a tennis shop here. Should I, is that where they go? He's like, yeah, man, the fiery redhead is Wendy's. I thought you'd figure it out. I just, I did not. I was looking for a tennis shop called the fiery redhead. What was the tennis shop called? The tennis shop was right by the Wendy's.

It was like in the same parking lot. He probably said, look for the place by the Fiery Redhead. Oh, and you were looking for just some dude named Sebastian. Killer stories for the rest of my life, man. Man, I wish we could go six rounds. This is literally the first one where I would kill for a six round. Wow, really? This is awesome

not rappers with Lil in their name oh Boosie I mean who else I could kick Lil Nas X six times I guess Harper tell me

your final pick David wouldn't even look at me this is a this is a just for me pick I know it wouldn't get get taken but

don't say it too quick too fast too furious okay Tyrese versus Paul Walker at the demololition Derby outside of the trailer. They fight. They're like, hold on. Oh, when they haven't seen each other forever. Yeah, don't step in.

But the reason I love it is because there's a point where I think Paul Walker, rest in peace, is calling out what he's going to do for the fight choreography. Because at one point he goes, I'll choke you. And then starts choking him. Oh, really? Yes. So you think he's going to do for the fight choreography. Because at one point he goes, I'll choke you. And then starts choking him. Oh, really? Yes. So you think he's getting himself through it? I think it's like a wrestling match.

We're like, all right, now we're going to do this, now we're going to do that. And he goes, I'll choke you. I'll choke you. And that part, it just makes me laugh every time. That is tight. I don't remember. Are they friends or are they any old friends? They're old friends.

Like he had snitched on them? They had to squish it real quick. They had old friends. Like he had snitched on them? They had their shots of squash. I think he had snitched on them. They had to squish it real quick. They had to squish it real quick. Squish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Squish brothers.

Squish brothers. But yeah, the Too Fast, Too Furious right outside. It's in Flagstaff right outside the- Of course. A lot of fights in Flagstaff. Every fight happens in Flagstaff. A lot of fights in Flagstaff. Yeah, one way or another.

Yeah. It all comes out of Flagstaff. It happens in Flagstaff. It all comes out in the staff. Tyrese, RIP Paul Walker, RIP Tyrese. Wait, what? No, I'm joking. Yo, that just fucked me up, dude.

Sorry. You haven't been on iTunes. Dude, Joe, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. You haven't been on iTunes? Drake bodied him, dude. Did he?

No. Oh. It was not a very good joke. I mean, some of them aren't, you know? Yeah. Curry misses every now and again. Was that a good joke? You think you're the Curry of telling Tyrese jokes?

Predator noise. I'm the predator of Tyrese jokes. Predator noise. On the Predator. I don't know what it sounds like on the one and a half volume or one and a half speed that sometimes people listen to us on. I don't like that. I hate that people do that. I don't like that. I don't understand why.

My voice is like, is trumpety enough. You know, I'm going to do it, actually. I just want to say something that will sound crazy on a one and a half volume if you could. I got three balls. I don't know why that was the first. I want to start talking at one and a half speed. People are going to start listening to the podcast like that. And then what are you going to do?

What the fuck are you going to do? Super, super, super, super fast. Oh, now you're going to try to sell it down actually. I walk by Mario's every day. I walk by Mario's five times a day. I never got there. I got a sandwich. I want to go in there.

I want to get meatballs on a sub. I want to get the sandwich. I want to take it home. I want to watch basketball. I don't know what to do. That stressed me out. The idea of someone listening to that one and a half speed just gave me hives. Even us talking fast stressed me out more than I thought it was going to. But at the same time, if we say something really slow, maybe then it sounds like a normal

speed. What did you talk about? Micro machines. Slowly to Mario's and get a sandwich. Guys, I'm going to be honest. I'm still cranked off that cold. I'm in a weird headspace. I'm hungry.

I'm half. I got low blood sugar and high caffeine. I'm half popped over here. It's 10 o'clock p.m. 10 o'clock p.m. over here. Like, yeah. That means something different in Canada. We're at work.

You're at war with the Haitians? No, I'm not. Just so everyone's clear, I'm not at war with the Haitians. That's not a war I want. Dave, tell me your final pick. My final pick, and this one is just from a movie I've always loved. It's the scene where Benjamin Bratt confronts Spider in Blood In, Blood Out. Oh, man.

And he comes up there and he's like, Spider, I gotta talk to you. And then everybody comes up and the guy's like, fuck you, I'll catch you on the rebound, punk. And he throws a pabst at him. And then Benjamin Bratt says, and it sounds so cool, he goes, Man, fuck these other vatos. Get up, Chucky. And then this dude Chucky gets up with a shotgun and Benjamin Bratt rushes him. It's like, I love that fucking fight, dude. Fuck these other vatos.

You and me, Spider. Toe to toe. You trying to take a placaso? I want something. Man, I've seen that movie probably a I want something I think it's Busy Which one's the shorter shredded bone Is it Busy Bone Flesh and Bone

One of them samples that In one of my favorite Individual bone songs One of their solo projects That's the whole intro to the song We're drafting that next week Bone projects Individual bone projects I was really into the Wish and Bone But yeah, that's the whole intro to this song. We're drafting that next week. Bone projects? Bone projects!

But of an individual. Individual bone projects. I was really into the wishin' bone. Fuck the bone! That movie's so fucking hard, dude. That movie's so hard. I love Ghetto Cowboy. Better count your mother.

My name is Patter P. Can I get a 12 gauge? Please don't shoot, it's just me, Thug Queen. What the hell you hiding in them bushes I'm wanted in four counties For armed robbery We can talk about Mo Thugs forever The point is Blood in blood out

One of my most quoted You better count your money You better count your money I didn't know that that was from the Gambler Like they sampled a Kenny Rogers song. No, I had no idea either. I thought it was from Otho. The Gambler.

Yeah, but Blood In, Blood Out. I love that movie. I love, like, so much of that movie is so quotable. Shout out to Shea Serrano because his avatar is Miklo from that movie. But yeah, that's just like, like, that character was so, Paco was so cool, especially in the first half of that movie. Like, hey, I'm on the Kmart Pays, you can plan. But that part was like, man, fuck these other vatos.

Get up, Chucky. It is so great. It goes off. Benjamin Bratt, you forget that he was like pretty hard. What? Benjamin Bratt, you forget that he was like a hard motherfucker back in the day. Oh, in that movie? Yeah.

He's not always with Sandy Bullock. Yeah, yeah. No, and he was like ripped and beautiful in that movie. You're like, this dude. Oh, dude, when the lady

throws the acid on him and he like gets, he's like, they like wash him off and then he's running and he's just like just in his underwear with a gun.

You're like, that dude, good for him, man. That dude is bad news. But I want him. Yeah. Congratulations. I don't know what it feels like

to be like that. But you did it. Must be tight. Congratulations. You know I don't know what it feels like to be like that. But you did it. Must be tight. Congratulations. You know what I mean? But it doesn't feel like it's having too much cold brew and not enough food. Dude, I feel crazy. Yeah, I haven't had a bite.

I haven't had a bite all day. I feel fucking. I'm going to eat this fucking microphone. That's what I'm going to do. I got home and St. Ian Carmel had some pizza on the counter and I mad dogged it. I left it out for him. Oh. Have a later. Mad dogged it for him. Oh, it's delicious.

Mad-dogged it. Delicious. Good pizza, right? It was so good and there was a whole, it was like a vat of marinara too that I was like, it's all,

it was all going in my body. It's one of my first radio. Basically dipped in soup. Yeah, soup dipping. Time for my final pick. With my final pick, I'm taking,

oh wait, Sean, can I ask you something? Nine inches. Do you like? You fucking blew up my bit for your own bit. Damn. Wait, I blew you.

I blew you. I'm asking you something. Let's do a setup. That's like, you know when it's like a two-on-one in the NBA? And like, you know, you're clearly, the ball's never getting dribbled. You're like throwing it back and forth to set up the alley-oop. But like, I threw it to Sean, expecting him to throw it back up to me set up the alley-oop. But like I threw it to Sean expecting him to throw it back up to me so I could alley-oop it. But I threw it to him and he just did like a 16-foot set shot.

Yeah, it was weird. Brandy style? Yeah, because in transition we thought it was going to be amazing. We were like, oh, shit, where everybody started to stand up. Here's what we can do is we can just redo it, and if it's funnier then we can just cut that last part. Gary Payton just throwing a jump shot up. We're not.

Everybody knows. Sean Capps standing there like, what? Yeah. I'm the Rain Man. How many kids? Fifteen? Jesus.

Anyway, I'm taking Mickey vs. Gorgeous George and Snatch, dude. Oh, man. Hit. That, you want to talk... That was on my list. That shit was fit. You want to talk about a body on a motherfucker.

That dude. A body? That is wild, dude. Yeah, Gorgeous George is ripped. Yeah, he's ripped. that was on my list that shit was fit you want to talk about a body on a motherfucker that dude a body that is wild gorgeous gorgeous ripped he's big he's brolling

and like the way that Brad Pitt just like stretches after he does the back thing and flexes what they didn't know was the pike

he was harder than a coffin nail help me out here so is this the one at the end in the horse in the barn it's in the middle

like the middle one okay alright so not the one at the end? That's where he gets knocked out. In the horse, in the barn. It's in the middle. Like the middle one. Okay. All right. So not the one at the end where Brad Pitt like throws the fight on purpose. He's supposed to throw the fight. This is the one where he like, they're boxing a little bit and he hits him on accident. He just. He kills it.

Okay. Yeah. This is the one where he gets. He breaks his jaw. Right? Like, cause he's, cause gorgeous George comes back. I thought he killed him. No, he comes back.

His jaw is like wired shut. The way I should say it. Is it, is this the one he meant to win or the one he did not mean to win? It's the one where he like, he soccer punches him. He's wearing that. I thought he killed him. No, he comes back, his jaw is like wired shut. The way I should say it, is this the one he meant to win or the one he did not mean to win? It's the one where he, like he soccer punches him, he's wearing that, and like he...

But then he's like talking to him while he fights him. Yeah, yeah. Where he cracks all his knuckles and gets ready. He takes his shirt off and we're all like, what? So this is the one he meant to win.

And it tells him to stay down, right? Yeah, you want to stay down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, that one's... I thought he killed him. No, because he comes back and his jaw is like wired shut. Yeah, he's later in the. Yeah. That one's. I thought he killed him. No. No.

No. He comes back and his jaw's like. Yeah. He's later in the movie. Wait. Go back to right where he hits him. Oh God. Look at that.

I'll say it. The body on. Oh yeah. That song. Golden brown. Extra like sun. Yeah. Lay me down with my manchurians.

Who sings that? And then he kisses his cross. Is it the case? Yeah. Jackson. But it's a really good song. And it's such a. When he just his cross and just... Is it the case? Shaw jacks him. But it's a really good song. And it's such a... When he just flops and that song's playing and Brad Pitt just...

It's hard to take one without the other. Yeah, but like... Fuck, the last fight. The last fight's great, too. Maybe I do want the last fight. Take them both. Take them both. I'm taking them both.

Take Brad Pitt and Snatch. Take the last pick of the draft. I mean, because when he gets knocked out, but then comes back up and like levels the dude all in that one motion. Yeah. All right, I'm taking the last fight. Fuck it, whatever.

It's a podcast. Who cares? Whatever. Take snatch, man. Vote for somebody else. I don't give a fuck. I'm rich. I do.

Obviously, we care about you guys. It's Fat City over here for you, boy. Yeah. Yeah, so it's just awesome. Also, Snatch, what an us coming of age-ass movie, by the way. How many times did you see that thing? Oh, my God. Well, that was the first movie where I was like, oh, I'm into Guy Ritchie.

It was like the first movie that wasn't like shoved down my throat. My cake didn't do it for you. Yeah. Yeah, right, exactly. It was spoon-fed to us and we were like, great, tastes good. Just being in high school,

like, dude, you guys hear about the new Guy Ritchie movie? The question I was going to ask you by the way is, do you like dags? Do you like, do I like dogs?

Dicks? Dags? What's a dag? She like dags. Dags? She like dags. Oh, dogs? Yeah, I like dogs. Yeah. do I like dogs? Dicks? What's a dick? She like dicks. Dicks? She like dikes. Oh, dogs? Yeah, I like dogs.

Yeah. Do I like dogs? I just got on a project caravan for my mom. Periwinkle blue. Periwinkle blue. Oh, man, you are good at that. You've been hitting it today. Good for you.

He's a pikey. That's the natural South Dakota accent. Harder on the top of your neck to get some chiswick for your mom. But if it's periwinkle, she says. You're not supposed to understand. No, you have a great accent. Because I don't even understand that accent enough to mimic it. What are you saying?

Words. Yeah. He said Periwinkle and mom. Well, that wraps it up. I'm so hungry. Sean, you went first. You took Karate Kid, the crane kick. And then Patricia Arquette versus James Gandolfini in True Romance.

Then the Anchorman Brawl. Then Mel Gibson versus Mr. Joshua in Lethal Weapon. And then Arnold Schwarzenegger versus the Predator. Man, this is fun. Zach Harper, you won second. You took the Chong Lee's fight from Bloodsport. Nick Cage versus the Prisoner in Face Off. Keith David versus Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live.

John Wick versus the Russian Mob in The Backhouse. And then Tyrese versus Paul Walker in Too Fast, Too Furious. David, you went third. You took Craig versus Deebo. The Brittle Brothers getting their shit whipped on Django Unchained. Whip it through the glass. Whip it, whip it, whip it. The Raid, you took I Love to Fight With My Hands Fight

from the Raid Redemption. Uma versus Vivica in the kitchen. I'll take that on any. Yeah, that's... Benjamin Brad versus Spider in Blood In Blood Out. I went last and I took Rocky versus Ivan Drago in Rocky 4. Indiana Jones versus

the big ass Nazi in Raiders. The Kingsman pub fight, if you're not Firth, you're last. Attack of the Clones. Yoda just getting fucking getting meaty with it, dude. And then Mickey versus Gorgeous George. And then again, if you want to give it

to me, the last fight. Mainly the one where just Brad Pitt shows the D'Angelo's and whips the shirt of that goon. Boy, does he. Too fast, too Firth-iest. That's what they should call the next Kingsman. We left some good ones on the board. Only one left on my list

was Dalton versus Jimmy in Roadhouse where he tears the throat. Bronx Tale. I used to fuck guys like you in prison. I had Menace to Society when he's like, and he snuffs him. That was great.

That was a snuff on all terms. Oh, yeah. Eastern Promises and the Sala. Oh, that movie was great. Oh, dude. This is weird. I had that fight in The Boss, the Melissa McCarthy movie. I haven't seen it.

Where the little girl, like the children are fighting each other. Oh, they had like a brawl out there? Yeah. I loved it. It was so much fun. There's Best of the Best, which is an old Taekwondo movie. I love Best of the Best.

Yeah, the end fight with Tommy and Daehan. That is phenomenal. And then Die Hard when he fights the Swede. Oh, yeah. What about Mission Impossible Fallout in the bathroom? Oh, my God. Henry Cavill cocks his arm. It's awesome.

That movie is awesome. They had the transporter where he covered himself in arms. It's awesome. That movie is awesome. They had the transporter where he covered himself in oil. Oh, nice. Yeah, that movie was hard. Man, I forgot about the load in the arms. That shit. That's in the trailer. That's how Bucky had it.

In the 300, dude, where they fight the rhino and shit? I mean, the rhino just barely gets there. Remember the four months that that was all your lamest friend's favorite movie? Oh, yeah. This is Sparta. This is Sparta. Dude, 300's my favorite movie. The Matrix, when he fights Morpheus, like when Keanu first meets Morpheus and they fight,

and then when he fights Smith in the end. Bane versus Batman. He just looks away. Oh, Bane versus Batman. Bane versus Ra's al Ghul. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. You mean the one with George Clooney?

Clooney's, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clooney tunes. Clooney tunes. The fight to keep his career afloat. Clooney tunes. Princess Bride, dude. Inigo Montoya. Yeah. Oh, that. Clunetunes. Clunetunes. The fight to keep his career afloat. Clunetunes. Princess Bride, dude. Onigo Montoya.

Oh, that's a good one. What about Macaulay Culkin versus the bees in My Girl? Uh-oh. Damn. No, that's true. Too soon? Damn. That was hard for Veda.

What was her name at the end? Can I say, by the way, that last scene is so sad. Everybody tweeting Warriors fans when Steph is off or whatever. Oh, yeah. About that little girl talking to Macaulay Culkin dying. That tweet did numbers. That is one of the funniest tweets I've ever seen. He put his glasses on.

You have to put his glasses on. He can't see. Oh, shit. That's funny. Oh, boy. I love NBA Twitter. Oh, it's so good. That's the thing, man.

It's just jokes. Yeah, it's just jokes. Competition is fun sometimes. Jokes over his chest. Jokes, boy. I love NBA Twitter. Oh, it's so good. That's the thing, man. It's just jokes. Yeah, it's just jokes. Competition is fun sometimes. Jokes over his chest. Jokes, man. Jokish. Yeah. Yeah.

Specifically about him, a lot of them. Yeah. From me, you know. And from you. We'll see. If it gets to the second round, Twitter's Ian Carter. We don't have to talk about that. We don't have to talk about it.

By this time, by the time, guys, no, by the time this is coming out. I'm going to be a champion almost. Yeah, whatever's happened, me and Ian are both over it. Over it. I'd say David's over it. I'm going to put those swords down. David's the one that's going to need to get overtime. Sean, I will bear hug you and jump down the stairs.

I haven't heard you say my name a lot. Like, you really don't say my name a lot. I don't say people's names when I talk to them. What about the fight where last night Mike Malloy said he could beat up 25% of professional athletes? He must have been drunk. Did he say that? Yes. It was, we've, I don't know.

That's another podcast. That's another podcast. Mike is tough. Malloy is popping off lately. Mike is tough. He's not that tough. He's a tough guy. He's, okay.

Also. He could beat up 90%. I don't even want to get into this conversation. This is already deep. We're all swimming in crazy waters. 25% of people who are in shape for a living? Right. All he does is fucking rock blunts and eat burgers, dude.

For a second, I thought that was a workout. Rock blunts. I thought it was like school crushers. I do three sets of rock blunts. Yeah, I do three rock blunts and I'm good to go. I love Moe, but does he work out? I think he's a tough dude. He's just naturally.

He's a bit of a traveler. I think he can beat up a lot of people. I think he's tough. Oh, sure. I wouldn't want to fight him. No. But I also don't want to fight anybody. No, I don't either.

He's 32 years old. What did he do? He did put me in a weak-ass headlock once, if that's his fight. I don't know about that. You heard it, Mike. Scram, scram. See you at Public House next week. He's just like, he just punched a hole in the wall.

Does he know 100% of the NFL is involved in 20% of athletes? That's what I'm saying. He couldn't beat up anyone. Like, I don't even know if there's punters he could beat up. Maybe. Johnny Hecker's big. Yeah, dude. I bet he could take a grammatica.

I've seen, I saw Anna Vinatieri in his mid-40s. Malloy couldn't beat up Anna Vinatieri. No. I don't think so. And I love Malloy.

He'd kick him right through the goalposts. Dude. Don't you? Well, now it's a whole other fight that we're talking about. In Damakong Sioux? I mean, I know that's not

who he's thinking of. Here's the thing, though. My friend stabbed in Damakong Sioux in high school in Portland. And he's not even big yet's the thing, though. My friend stabbed in Dominican Sioux. What? In high school. In Portland? And he's not even big yet. Why didn't you draft that?

I think I've told that story before. I'm hearing of this. I don't know if you can tell it, can you? Yeah. Do you know? We can talk about it. That's an offensive question. Anyway, I just got flabbergasted by that Malone point.

He also said, he told Zach and I that he could eat 300 milligrams of weed without any fucking. That's not true. There's only one person can do that. He's Sam Talent. I've seen it. It gets weird. It's not good. I'm just saying.

He's making some bold claims. He's taking some flags on some lands he hasn't conquered. Shout out to Malloy. Send us your list. We want to hear what your favorite movie fight is. Add All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to the AFE subreddit.

Shout out to everyone on Twitter. Shout out to everyone on the Patreon. We love you. Thank you so much. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to the food we're about to eat.

Soak up some of this iced coffee, dog. Shout out to Saisu Carmel. No, definitely not more cold brew ever in my life. More important than all that. Oh, we're falling through the finish line. No, we're doing it. You're narrowing it. We're doing it.

We're doing it. We're doing it next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shaglargity! Woo! That was a HeadGum Podcast.