All Fantasy Everything - Movie Props We Wish We Owned (w/ David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

Just in case you missed our livestream on Saturday, here is the audio! The GVG all got together and drafted “Movie Props We Wish We Owned!” It was a hoot AND a holler.  Wanna watch the video version of this episode? Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/AllFantasy.  Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Head version of our live stream episode that we just did specially last weekend. Thank you so, so much to the team at Hopin for producing everything, getting it all done. We will be announcing more live stream shows in the future, so follow us on Twitter at AllFantasyPod for updates on that. And if you want the video version of this episode, including the bonus Q&A that we stuck around and did, you can find it at our Patreon. So subscribe and become a member at patreon.com slash all fantasy. Let's get into it. Roll that theme song. Welcome to a Hopin' exclusive episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is very clearly, very clearly coming to you live from an office that their fiancé decorated.

I think that's pretty clear what's happening here. Color-coded books. Not something I would traditionally be associated with. Hello, everyone. Thank you for joining us. It's just going to be me today. Sean was detained. Finally, the FBI caught up with him. David Borey can't get Wi-Fi in Bolivia.

So it's just going to be me. It's going to be me putting out a vibe, sort of hanging out, sort of giving you my theories on what keeps happening after Netflix leaves the Gilmore Girls franchise behind. Yeah, Dana's book in the back.

We're looking at the comments. There it is. Dana's book, Anatomy, A Love Story. Available everywhere on Tuesday. Make sure you cop that at a bookstore near you. Not Amazon. Unless you can only get it on Amazon. Now, listen. Earlier, it was but a Mary Jape when I said that I was alone here.

But a Mary Jape. It's not actually just me. I am here today joined by, you know, I'm as Sean Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar, Mel and Jordan on Instagram. Please welcome Sean Jordan. Everybody was evident. Yeah. Yeah.

Look at that. I'm in a room that was clearly decorated by a guy who doesn't really decorate rooms, but who has a couple pieces of art. Huh? by a guy who doesn't really decorate rooms but who has a couple pieces of art huh it's it looks like if you widen out a little bit there'll be like a bunch of empty bottles of gold schlager displayed like they were hunting trophies mike malloy's in the chat oh shit god everybody all right start over who told mike where the party was god damn it god damn i'm kidding i love him to pieces i can't nothing nothing negative is coming out today except for my covid test if i were to take one there he is negative for covid positive for vibes

sean jordan positive for is that a big white claw what are we doing here yeah i got yeah man well max is being a bit of a pill today so go on this was gonna happen regardless now fatherhood has its moments that's what i understand i'll tell you it's a treat my friend and i highly recommend that you join the ranks but it's the ultimate test of patience i've told you that before and um you know so sometimes you just have it you just yeah yeah whatever you have a little white claw it's fine nobody's nobody's judging you for having a little white claw it feels like some people are i feel like you were like you're coming off here very defensive dude no i'm stuck man i gotta right now

i got a ring light and my eyes are the bluest they've ever been and uh you look beautiful those that the shirt is very much making the eyes pop dude i was hoping you know i was also hopping here we are i was hopping oh shout out to hopping shout out to hopping shout out to justin shout out to everyone who made this happen it's so it's this fuck it looks awesome i feel like we're coming to you live from a trapper keeper from like uh t minus third grade dude i'm gonna call it third grade isn't it sick yeah it looks really good yeah yeah i'm stoked and it give it let's just catch up man let's just leave everybody else kind of hanging in the dust and catch up i don't mind that one bit dude i don't mind that one bit, dude. I don't mind that one bit. You got a root canal. I got a root canal.

No Novocaine, right? No. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, my dentist told me that there's people that go there that have had root canals with nothing. I can't imagine that. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. We probably should bring David in.

You know, he's not on Twitter anymore. He's not. You fucking blew it. If you wanted to follow him on Twitter, you blew it. But's not on Twitter anymore. He's not. You fucking blew it. If you wanted to follow him on Twitter, you blew it. But he is on Instagram. Cool guy jokes 87. Please make some noise or whatever it is we do on Hopin for David Bore. Welcome.

Oh, I get the jazz snaps. Yeah, dude. Yeah, bro. What's up, guys? Man, I miss you guys. I miss the both both of you let's pretend like we weren't just talking 10 minutes ago yeah i missed it good to see you yeah man how you been man i well i got a root canal you know right in the teeth and uh i got a root canal right in the teeth right in the fucking teeth dude sounds like a music man reference you smell burning bone when they do it because that's what's happening oh i hate that you can see that

you can see smoke coming up from your mouth and i remember asking the guy he took my thing out because i was like oh he took it out and i was like what come on man what's going on what he took his thing out in the middle of a root canal yeah yeah i took out the whole time and i kept going with my eyes i was like look down and then he took the thing out of my mouth and i was like look down it's out i don't think you're supposed to have that out during the root canal no that's not it's not that root he said the same thing yeah and then i put it back in and he finished the canal a man a play on a canal sean jones suez canal the saint suez carmel dude she's watching right now before her shift tonight shout out to mom i love you mom that's rad yeah how come i'm the only one with the last name like a fucking asshole i like it dude yeah man makes me feel like i'm like a like a like a hall monitor like a snitch

we're okay i got a question where that was your lead me into it when i was a kid full namers were like big losers all the kids that we called by their full name were dorks and now a lot of time people call me by my full name and i feel like a dork when that happens i feel like comedy makes it like that though like in comedy i feel like everybody calls everybody by their full name except for me i've been boring forever and ever and yeah you're boring i call you day i'm a full name yeah i usually say david boring i never call you boring ever i know i never call yeah i never call ian carmel either everybody i grew up with like only calls me boring i i get i think that's a football

thing too oh yeah probably well if it was a football thing i would definitely know a thing or two about it that's not a good point actually yeah that's a good point they call you they call you splits they call me varsity jordan i don't think they call you varsity hey vj just like what's up bros whose letterman jacket do i get to borrow today they call you varsity blues but it's the blues is a very specific kind of blue, right? It's kind of a Grape Street purple. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you somebody who we usually call by an abridged first name, if not an abridged first name, full last name. No, abridged first name, abridged last name.

It's super producer Mars Mel. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah. On the podcast, no longer in the dark. Yeah. Also, you're in your smart apartment. Your smart apartment. Yeah, I'm back in LA now, so I have a whole new, you can actually see what my apartment

looks like, which is so cool. Look at that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What's LA like? Are the chain smokers still a popular group? It's been so long. Wait, for real what is going on with the chain smokers and why is like ryan flanagan the new face of the chain smokers who's ryan flanagan i'm unprepared

for this is the second time i i swear to god this is gonna sound made up i just my therapist brought up the chain smokers. I swear to God. I swear to God. Really? Is your therapist young and cool? I do not know how old she is. How did the chain smokers come up in a therapy appointment? Well, I was crying and then she was like, what did you do for the holidays?

And I was like, what did you do over the holidays? And she was like, we went to Las Vegas to see the Chainsmokers. So she's young and cool. I don't think she's that young. I can't tell. I can't tell. I can't tell. I don't know.

I don't like, I don't like. Has this affected your relationship with your therapist? I don't like knowing what music she listens to. No, I can't know that. So I't like knowing what music she listens to no also she's black so i was like what what what i didn't i wouldn't have guessed that no that i had a black therapist or that she likes the chain smokers that a black doctor likes the chain smokers yeah i don't know my mind it blew my shit it blew my i was like i didn't i didn't process i don't think i'm processing it till now to be honest you need to get a second therapist to help you deal with the fact that your current therapist

is a black doctor who likes the chain smoker i think that she's just very dynamic you got to call an eternal yeah that's true i think she's just i think she's just like a very dynamic person maybe it's i mean maybe it's like a good thing maybe it's like this person is truly i would think that open a free spirit yeah i think i think that she is uh i think she just has mad interests i don't know man i don't know i wasn't ready for it at the time either i was like we need to talk about my mom uh yeah but anyways chain smokers weird week yeah uh who. Who's Ryan Flanagan, Marissa? He's a comedian. It's Ryan O. Flanagan. So apparently the Chainsmokers have been doing some sort of goof where they have comedians be the face of them.

And I think there was a video of Ryan performing as the Chainsmokers in Las Vegas. Wow. Just like pretending to be them. I'm not sure what the whole story is, but it was very, very interesting. Why didn't she bring that up? Maybe she saw him perform as the Chainsmokers. That's pretending to be them. I'm not sure what the whole story is, but it was very, very interesting. Why didn't she bring that up? Maybe she saw him perform as the chain smokers. That's what I'm saying. Oh.

How many people are in the chain smokers? I, two? I don't know anything about the chain smokers. I didn't hear about them till therapy on Tuesday. Almost any comedian could walk out. And as long as they're wearing an expensive enough shirt yeah you'd be like yeah that's that's a chain smoker that's a chain smoker that's how i feel about the hadids yeah yeah i don't know anyone who looks like a cat could walk out you just have to be vaguely

from another country and i'd be like that could be a hadid shout out to nicholas nampay not on the live not on the hop in not but in the chat. What's up, Nick? Speaking of the hop in, I do want to point out that we have some very special features on this show. Thanks to hop in. On the right side of the screen, there's a Q&A tab where you can submit a question and you can also up or down vote those questions. And we will be doing a special Q& exclusive to this hop in it won't be on the episode that comes out it's just going to be right here uh so stick around after the drafting is over and we're going to be doing a live q a for you and uh and and and also marissa is not drafting but marissa will be hanging out for the entire episode since uh since i had to cancel my shows on the 6th in seattle i'm going

to do a live q and on as well after the q and a because my plans on the 6th changed as it were you were a change smoker dude you were a change smoker on the 6th yeah where were the chain smokers on january 6th i don't know i don't know. In my ears, my friend. You'd believe that the Chainsmokers were at January 6th. All right, I'm faking the funk, man. Tell me one Chainsmokers song. I don't know. Like that's Mattress Back in Boulder, Something We Get Older.

It's got Halsey in it. Yes, you know this song. Do it again, Sean. Somebody type the chorus in there we ain't never growing older and it's like we ain't ever growing little no yeah they had another really really big one too you'd i bet you know what pumped up kicks is it the pump up pumped up kicks no different dudes oh man i feel really old different dudes which makes me wonder wait but it's like synth it's like young poppy music how old is how old

is my therapist young young poppy music is it's a whole different kind of music happy birthday sarah yeah happy birthday sarah happy birthday oh yeah baby hold me closer in the backseat of your rover back in boulder listen i'm gonna keep saying boulder that's the only part that sticks out to me is back in boulder why don't they let us be the front people for the for the progressive they don't all wear capes everybody pay attention all right they walk among us these heroes the front people why don't you email the chain smokers hey we got some new front people i don't mind that one chain smoker song and I bet there's one other one. There's two that I like.

So baby, pull me closer in the backseat of your rover that you can afford. Bite that tattoo on your shoulder. Pull the sheets right off. Oh, now it's gone. The comments are coming too quick, but I was ripping off the song for you. I YouTubed it.

Somebody wants to hear it in the chain voice. So baby, pull me closer in the backseat of your rover. Go see Shane on tour. Yeah, go see Shane on tour. He's still out there, dude. No mask, no vaccine, no booster for sure.

The Shane Smokers, dude. The Shane Smokers, is that what he said? The Shane Smokers that's what he should call his fans he should call them the Shane Smokers dude he's pretty busy calling them Shaniacs and he'll hear no advice on that he does love calling them Shaniacs

he also loves calling himself the Shane Train he is the Shane Train Marissa that was the best look that could have come on your face that's what I'm here for. Just for the live reaction. That boy Shane can pump. That boy Shane can pump.

God, I've never been angrier at him. Sean Jordan, what do you got going on, man? Your shows on the Capitol Hill riots of Seattle were canceled. What's going on? What's the latest? I actually do have a couple dates coming up in Minneapolis. I will be at the Comedy Corner Underground February 18th and 19th.

There is a ticket link pinned to my Twitter account. It is the top of my Twitter. So come out. It's a Friday and Saturday, one show each night. It's going to be fantastic. It's my favorite city in the world. I hope to see you there. Great. Sean, what's dank that you're stoked on man look at so the list just got one longer

because that was dank and i'm stoked on it uh i'm stuck a couple things so what's dank that i'm stoked on is a podcast that i've been doing on my own on our patreon page so i just figured we'd this is what it is i just talk about stuff that i'm excited about and it's all real simple stuff like in saying that that got me stoked uh two things two things right now specifically that are dank that i'm stoked on one is being over covid be safe uh your part, but also know that if you do get stricken with the bug, if you're vaxxed and boosted, it will be mellow. You can say that you're sicker than

you are and sit in your guest room and watch a whole season of Hard Knocks in one day because you have to isolate for that day, even though everybody in the house was clearly already exposed. Did you do the Cowboys? No, I did the Colts, man. Oh, but in season one. I was just thinking about Megan Gailey the whole time.

I was thinking about that baby just being in turmoil with the baby inside her being like, what is going on? Why is mom so freaked out? So anyway, stoked that I'm over COVID. Second thing I'm stoked on, damn, this is like a helicopter. Sorry, it's opposite directions.

This painting right here, what we did is we had a young Maxine Jordan roll around on a canvas with a bunch of paint on it and that's what came out so this is like she did that painting so that's really cool you guys are gonna be so glad you have that later yeah isn't that cool it's and it actually looks you know i'm not the refined artist that you think i am don't say that liar you are dude fucking you do get mad when i say that you're a really good artist this looks like art to me i mean i know it is everything's or whatever this technically

is podcast right this is art but this looks like real get it at a museum no dude no i'm sorry no man you got it's listen no it's just because your baby made it i have i don't know if you guys i don't know if you guys can see. I have. You see that back there over there? That is a plate that I drew in 1989, and I think it's art. I mean, that is. That is.

But I look at the max art, and I'm sorry. It's clearly derivative of David's plate, and it's like, if you're going to come out here. She's got heavy influences and you're gonna create in this medium it's like acknowledge at least that you stand on the shoulders of giants don't feed me this and tell me it's some brand new thing it's like she would acknowledge that but she is struggling to take a nap right now so she can't i'm speaking for her so yeah all right yeah if you're gonna enter the marketplace of ideas be prepared for a full and spirited exchange that's all i'm saying never have i been prepared for such a thing i buckle so hard anytime it's very cute it's really it's it's very cute and good and i would like very cute

every single person on this in this window and every single person in this chat that's cute every single one of you. Y'all cute. Y'all cute. Y'all cute. Cute as fuck. Cute as fuck, bro. Unless that's an unwelcome comment from Sean, in which case you're an independent.

And then I back off. I apologize. And then I, you know, you are whatever you want to be. You're perfect in your way. You know what I mean? It's, again, we're not all wearing a belt, you know, with an initial on it. Some of us are just out here being heroes

in day-to-day life. Sean Jordan. David Borey is here as well. Hey. Coolguyjokes77 on Instagram. David, what you got going on, baby? I got some live dates that may or may not be canceled, but I'm going to read them off because that's what the fuck I do.

No, I am going to be. Oh, no, I have too many tabs. I have too many tabs. I have too many tabs. Fuck, I'm i have too many tabs fuck i'm tabbed out is it a bunch of fight videos how many fight videos it's just like it's a bunch of fight videos it's my god it's a dog walking another dog it's a bunch of weird shit is it a dog walking another dog my fight video algorithm is eating itself it's like my phone my phone is gonna turn into a fist. I swear

to God. I lay down to go to sleep. You ever met somebody who has a cup of coffee right before bed? No. That's what these fight videos are for my eyes. I just watch them and I'm like, alright, drift off to sleep. Does that put you in a place of sleep? No.

But it's because we talk about it and you know, big bruv watching everybody. You know, my thoughts on that. Just tell me how airplane doesn't, it wouldn't cut the steel at a 90 degree angle. Neither here nor there. Yes. All right. Yeah.

Now it just like, it's just something I see before I go to better fight videos. Mix some other shit in, dude. Mix people like going to Q. I try. Search something different. I only search skateboarding. I don't believe you. I'm telling you, I don't ever search fight videos.

You just lied to three of your best friends. No, I didn't. You just lied to three of your best friends. My mom is still probably listening, so you just lied to her too, dude. You lied to Elias Whitefoot, you lied to Glenn Rauch, and you lied to Josh and Max R. I'm not going to fucking sit here and have you tell us that you don't look up fight videos we're not gonna have to search for one because i'm gonna make one you don't be quiet i mean i yeah i feel like you don't look up fight videos but you definitely i feel like you search like get it crunk out of arby's yeah it just doesn't have

the word fight what do you think is gonna going to come up? Well, fight. Popeye's chicken out of chicken four in the morning, Kansas City. Just like Waffle House turn up and then it goes to what you want to do. Waffle House incorrect change 2 a.m. I decide when the buffet is closed

and hashtag South Dakota. Man, that'd be tight to see what you could type in and like what spawned a fight oh wait i have the dates i'm sorry i was all confused guys so uh february 17th through 20th i'm going to be at rooster tea feathers in sunnyvale californ California, April 7th through 9th, I'm going to be at the Grove Comedy Club in Lowell, Arkansas. Wow. June 10th and 11th, I'm going to be at the Riot Comedy Club in Houston, Texas. And then these are the weird ones. July 12th through 16th, I'm going to be at room rumors comedy club in winnipeg manitoba wow and march 17th through 19th i'm gonna be at the laugh shop in calgary alberta there's even

the most established successful comedy clubs still sound fake to me. They all sound made up. It's all like crazy. I'm at the rooster tea feathers. Yeah. Rooster tea. I've been, I've done rooster tea feathers for years. I know that's like a very established club is what I'm saying. And it sounds,

it sounds nuts. Like rooster tea feathers. Yeah. Only the improv sounds like a real place. Even the comedy store sounds fake. And it's like, that's like a national historic registry site at this point. Also rooster to tea feathers. What's the joke? I don't know. Even the comedy store sounds fake. And it's like, that's like a National Historic Registry site at this point. Also, Rooster 2 Tea Feathers.

What's the joke? I don't know. What is the joke? What does the T stand for? Is the joke that it's a chicken? Like, that's the whole, that's the whole thing. Can you imagine? Can you imagine if a chicken owned a comedy club?

That's the whole, that's the whole joke. That's their whole joke. What if, wouldn't it be funny if the boss was a chicken on the comedy club that's the whole that's the whole joke that's their whole joke what if wouldn't it be funny if the boss was a chicken it was it was named during the the depression when that was the funniest thing anyone could think of a chicken running a business yeah i don't have i don't have time for jokes uh just a chicken running it i'd like some butter please you have any butter say there friend say there friend can i bend your ear for a minute? Can I bend your ear? So, nitwits... Oh, go ahead. Bend my ear, please. Oh, I was just saying,

can I bend your ear for a minute with a notion, a humorous notion? Now, sit there. Now, you know a chicken, right? A fowl? I do know a chicken, yes. Have you ever run a fowl of a fowl? Well, say you ran a fowl of a fowl, and the fowl was standing outside of a comedy club, and you walked up to the fowl, and you said, say, pal, how much chicken do you want in that comedy club? And he said, I'll tell you. it's $10.

And the reason I know that, I own that club. Wouldn't that be merry? Well, I'd give that rooster a nickel for a laugh. I'll tell you what. All right, well. I lost it. I lost it. I don't know, dude.

I liked watching it. I'm not drinking. But that's what I got. Come see me in Canada, guys. Yeah. They let me in. See? She knew. Wherever it is is i don't know if

but on my screen that's where marissa is yeah this is where she is for me yeah sean's over here no one's over here uh the loony bin everyone comedy at the loony bin yeah i've done comedy at the loony bin tulsa i've told you nitwit's thing right like the club in sioux falls their whole what they wanted to do for their club they wanted a white padded backdrop and that was going to be their whole thing and the whole staff was going to wear medical like outfits and surgical masks like they were in an insane asylum and all of the drinks were going to be in like beakers and test tubes this was their straight up actual idea it's already a comedy club that's the gimmick you don't need another gimmick the backdrop they got it wasn't it wasn't a white padded one it was all multi-colored

and so they're like well fuck it and it like ruined their whole idea so they've just put that up and they're like we're still gonna call it nitwits and that was it they were just like and then they just had a comedy club that could have just been called sioux falls comedy club or something like that's not what you can call. You can't call comedy clubs just like something easy. It all has to be some kind of a joke. Yeah. Like the Chuckle Palace?

Yeah, the Chuckle Palace. Magoobies is the most normal one. Yeah, and Good Nights, I feel like. Yeah, Charlie Good Nights. Make sure you see David. He's performing in la paz bolivia sucre bolivia and of course cocha bamba uh big tour cocha bamba he's sitting all he's sitting all the fucking bolivian comedy clubs my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter

at ian carmel on instagram at ian Carmel on Jewish Hoppin. Huh? Which is why you're watching this today. Jewish Hoppin. Wait a minute. Are you Jewish? 100% for Mitzvah and everything. Hey, man. Been a minute. Been a minute. Been a minute. I can't figure out where my fucking hands are. I'm saying it's like flying a helicopter, right? It's everything's opposite. I fly helicopters.

Let's just move on. I know how to fly a helicopter. Is everything opposite on a helicopter is everything opposite on a helicopter it right you pull back and it goes down isn't that how cop no i don't know i have no idea isn't that the whole thing you like you push the stick forward and you go up you pull back and you go down you couldn't be talking to somebody who knows less about helicopter technology if there's anyone in the comments that can actually tell me if a helicopter is opposite day i'd be uh most most excited i want to see your google results is a helicopter opposite day

it's just gonna be a fight at some fair it's like you can't remember the day Thursday, so you're like, better Wednesday. I think your computer just calls the hospital and they're like, Mr. Jordan, you're having a stroke. Your computer told us. Very derisive. It's a helicopter opposite day. Someone just goes, nah. I mean, for God's's sake I don't really have

anything to promote watch the late late show where we will be back James Corden COVID free on Tuesday uh what else what else uh watch sex unzipped on Netflix and listen to all fantasy everything shout out to the uh AFE Patreon thank you for holding us

down shout out to everyone on the AFE shislakity we love you and then shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Thank you for holding us down. Shout out to everyone on the AFE. We love you. And then shout out to everyone on the AFE, fucking just the family in general. Thank you so much for rocking with us. We really, really appreciate you. Now, Marissa, anything you want to talk about?

I'm just happy to be here. It's just fun. Shout out to the Hoppin team that's doing all the behind the scenes technical stuff, including and very especially to Justin. Yes. So it just puts the pressure off me. I just get to hang out with you guys and chill. It's very nice.

There's about 79 of them. They're hovering in several Zeppelins over Los Angeles right now, just running everything. It very much looks like a Bond villain situation. Man, we should get into Zeppelins. I know. Do we have enough money? I think it's cheaper than you think. i bet it's cheaper than you think i bet it's easier to get into zeppelins than you think it

is what's the difference between a zeppelin and a blimp taste you gotta ask you can't afford it yeah i was gonna say obviously you've never bought drugs before uh i don't know it's the same thing, right? I don't know. It might be a different body. A Zeppelin is like a big luxury blimp, if you will, maybe. Mr. Luxury Blimp. Oh, fucking luxury blimps.

Did you know that there's only 25 blimps that exist in the world? I believe that. Is that true? I totally believe that. When have you ever seen a blimp? They're over LA like every other day. It's the same blimp though, dog. It's the same blimp. That's what they want you to think. Drink the Kool-Aid, David.

Keep drinking. Is this what led you to the sixth? It was blimp theory? A lot of things. No one else is answering these blimp questions so i might as well join with the only group who's looking to make some change around here your new google search is why do blimps have covid why don't blimps get covid covid airborne blimps airborne connection question mark and i'm i'm led to believe that you that you believe in covid then previous statement that's what they want me to think you're telling me that big brother didn't sneak in and put snot in my nose

and then gradually release it for a week and then also make me kind of irritable. I think... It may have clogged your two nostrils, but it opened your third eye, dude. Yeah, dude. And that's the important one. I see from Drew's style in the chat. I went outside, I poured some antifreeze on my foot, and it was gone. So that's how you get rid of

COVID. So anyway. I believe in COVID, by the way, just so we're clear. You know what? You can make a difference with comedy. COVID so anyway I believe in COVID by the way just so we're clear I had it I had it babe dude we're making you know what you can make a difference with comedy that's what we're doing we're trying to show people that preach bro

yeah now we could fucking just make a difference oh yeah oh man I forgot that we're live and I can I'm gonna David I'm gonna take a drink of my white claw real quick ew why was it so long

I don't like how long it was I could hear the slush I could hear the sorry this is what I meant to do ah god my daughter is like 30 feet from me okay that's why you should stop doing it i'm at work i'm at

work dad's nobody's happy nobody's happy now you all can see how we fucking feel about it you know what doesn't work is that fucking dab you happy yeah i'm pretty happy oh you guys feel good making me feel bad in the comments just trying to show you a little love dab for you because everybody says do it on twitter and then i do it and all of it's like now i wish i would could unsee that and i wish david would wear a mask from time to time we all wish for things i've never gotten covid sean yeah well Yeah. Well, you're right. I can't argue with that. I'll tell you what I'd like to see.

I'll tell you what I'd like to see. If you go in for a dab, you know what I mean? You tuck your hand into the crook of your elbow. When you do it, you come back out. Joker makeup. Oh, happy twisted, bro. Twisted, dude. Can you fucking picture it?

So, shout out to whoever. I forget the names. But somebody sent me a DM. It's a husband and wife and they have a tiny little Joker figurine that they just hide around the house randomly. And then whenever one of them finds it, they scream twisted. That's adorable. I love that. He sent me a picture.

It's like it's like a little Hot Wheels size Joker. It's so sick, dude. But but yes that would be twisted i would put it in the cereal box yeah that'd be good pour it out dude twisted oh fucking twisted you think you're just pouring out some fucking golden grams dude pour your milk in there a little joker figurine whoa twisted dude i straight up forgot about golden grams dude yeah i remember maxine on a canvas with a bunch of paint on it and then she paints and then i pick her up joker painting dude what if okay here's here's just a scenario you have overhead sprinklers in this scenario you have uh-huh sean has an unframed

joker poster somewhere it's probably in your garage right now i was given away at the live shows oh that's right we gave away the portland we all signed it with our shirts off, I think? Dude, what if I don't recall, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. A fire breaks out in your recording room, dude. Overhead sprinklers go off. They get that painting that Max made wet. Most of the paint washes away, but what's left? Joker face.

And then Max is one. She's crying a little bit. I look at her and I go, why so serious? Yeah. Yeah, dude. She's got a Joker face. You've got a joker face dude it'd be so twisted no we could sit here and talk about what's twisted all day long you know we'd be happy to do it we'd be happy to do it i thought you froze no way no way i'll never freeze dude are you kidding i'll never know that joker just walked in and he pointed a long gun at me so i froze for a second everybody chill it's not the it's not the fucking joke we have to worry about dude it's uh

mr priest that's his name oh yeah arnold schwarzenegger this whole i i lost this rant i'm sorry it's all right you know what i mean like not all the not all the riffs are good i wanted to show off for my friends i got these flowers here that I'm looking at. I'm in a weird zone. Do you have some flowers off screen? Oh, yeah. Not far off screen. Oh, that's beautiful.

David, is anybody there with you? I want to show off my flowers. Yeah, show me your flowers. Who's there? Brent Gill's here. See, I knew it. You always got somebody there. I love it.

Chuck Berlant's on. He's dang. Everybody says, what's up, Brent? I knew it. You always got somebody there. I love it. Chuck Branco. Everybody says what's up Brent. He said hey hey. Tell him I said what's happening. He's high as hell. Oh look at that. Oh and a

skull. Look at that. Isn't that cool? Did you just get those? That's what I'm talking about. I gotta step my base game up. Hold on let me get some flowers. I ordered it from the Sweetser Life. It is John Gaber. If you know John john gabriel's the comedian his wife makes these like beautiful flower arrangements uh and i just ordered them and i love it it's so dramatic i gotta get yeah i gotta get a better vase vase is it a vase i don't know i think it's a depends on your area

code i don't know what i don't know how you tell. I got mine with fucking... I got mine at Goodwill. But they were like two bucks. All the vases that we have are from flowers that I've ordered. You know? And then they come in the vase. Is that Beetlejuice or is that Eddie?

That's Eddie. That little fast-ass creature. The haunted cat talk your shit that's two faced dude talk your shit talk your shit she was talking all sorts of shit before we started recording and now she's

clamming up come on talk your shit Eddie we love you Eddie I'm all ears Ebone let's hear it Eddie say it. Eddie, say it. Eddie. Eddie. What do you want to say, Spaghetti?

Eddie. All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She just barks like a dog. People thought I was going to go get the Emmy. No, I'm not going to go get the fucking Emmy. I'm not going to grab the Emmy. There it is.

Yeah, man. I want to grab something. For the longest time. People thought I was going to get my award. I did. Yeah. Are you riding an elephant? Yeah, that was at the zoo a few weeks ago. like that a lot it was a good time yeah yeah shout out to the denver zoo i got a college boys emmy right here

oh you got a code red on at this point i thought you would have code red on tap the emmy is always within reach that's true i'm never more than three feet from an Emmy. That's just the thing about me. The Emmy was on the floor for the longest time at the old crib. It was just like, not in a bad way, but like, it was just where it was. And it was so funny just to be like, man, this is a low-key household. I enjoyed it. I could keep a bottle of sriracha fits perfectly in here dude just like you slide it right in there i like that hold on dan is making a tiktok i gotta

close the door married life friggin man she got she started a tiktok and had like 150 000 followers like the next day i I don't understand. I don't get it. She's amazing. An hour too old. I looked into TikTok and then I was like, I don't. I ain't got it because. I got in the camp, but I'm like, I can't get in that many fights, dude.

You know what I mean? I got in three and then I sort of exhausted. How many Del Tacos can you turn out? I've been banned from too many. They got a picture of me behind the counter, dude. Like a this is why this is why i get fight videos because you two start talking about fights no do not put this on the algorithm that is insane the two of you no way talk about fighting all the time in my computer and my computer hears it because it's a thousand dollar macbook pro it's fucking whatever slander did i slandered it that's slandered it that's

that's probably the craziest flip around i've ever heard you're the reason i get fight videos you get fight videos no i don't which one's which one's your favorite? Exactly. Which one's your favorite? Just type in Rams lose at home. And it's just, I mean, fight videos. Now, we are gathered here to talk about fight videos. We absolutely are. But also, this is where we're going to announce the topic. We are gathered here. It was chosen via a vote, a democratic process by our beloved Patreon members.

Shout out to you. Thank you for holding us down today. We're going to be drafting movie props. We'd like to own. Yeah, it was a good one. I forget. I don't know who was suggested by Sean.

Did you happen to collect the name? I could, I could sift. I could sift. If it was you, just, If it was you, just claim credit and we'll shout you out whenever that can happen. Also, with this draft, thanks to Hopin,

once the draft is over, you will be able to vote on who you think won the draft live, in real time, in person, or via Hopin, not in person, but after the draft, you'll be able to tell us who won sean jordan pre pre uh live stream pre-hop in informed us that he thinks he's gonna win the whole fucking thing that's what he said he was very confident i'll inform y'all dude snoopy little devil who

loves to kiss said it was them yeah how many people are up in here by the way do we know there's no way to tell them i think it's i think it's 190 000 people yeah yeah yeah i think it's like the more than live in rhode island i know that um when i bought the code red i was like that's that's weirder it's a weird purchase to buy a code red it just feels weird i feel like if anyone was used to it by now it'd be you yeah i don't think i've bought a code red i don't like code you know i like baja blast but honestly regular old mountain dew you don't like a code red you have a code red you have one yeah i never loved them what why i never loved them what no i mean i bought it just because i'm gonna drink it man i want to get jacked bro yeah i get that i'm gonna go after this vaccine's going

to bed you know what i'm talking about i straight from the bag wait save that for the only fans ah tea bagging way out of tea bagging dude that's what they're doing on only fans right i think you can't i think yeah i wonder i think that's how you get in the chain smokers yeah that's how you get in the pole smokers dude huh it's that kind of podcast huh that's not what kind of podcast it is but what it is is we determine the order of the draft through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors we're back uh i like that i love those graphics yeah man it gets me all stoked it is like fight music playing too which is gonna add to my algorithm hop in thanks for that i don't know if you know how algorithm everybody's not you think i know how algorithms of course i don't know how they work no i don't either also're called algorithms. Let's show some respect for the inventor of the internet, my friends.

I can't. Sometimes I worry that my algorithm makes me seem like a crazier person than I am. It'll be just like butts and philosophy quotes and then like a dog walking another dog. Oh, is that not you? Yeah, what are you talking about? You're a pretty smart guy who likes butts. I know. I like everything sean oh i mean i i hate to boil something down but boiling something down

is how you get how do you get consummate and like if i had to boil you down it might you know butts and philosophy videos would be in there what about the dog walking the dog where does that come from that That's a good video. Listen, guys, I just finished Bell Hook's book. I'm on a journey of self-discovery. I just want to find out why I am a dog walking a dog. Is that a Bell Hook's thing? No, she just talks about self-discovery and we were cool a lot.

Okay, I like that. Self-recovery. Self-recovery. Excuse me. If you're into self-discovery, though, make sure you check out my OnlyFans where T-Baggin... I'm getting in there. excuse me if you're into self-discovery though make sure you check out my only fans where teabagging i'm getting in there uh i'm gonna jump in on the rock paper scissors on this one since there's only are you serious oh yeah i'm getting in on it special for the hop in i'm fucking participating

i don't like this is changing all the energy this is crazy can Marissa say rock paper scissors shoot I think she should but before we do this first rock paper scissors shoot ooh David wins all the time champ is back on top

champ is here champ is here beautiful alright. Champ is here. Beautiful. All right. Well, David, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors, it isn't coming upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do that, I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft.

How about that? And what is that? That's a great question. So dank that that's a great question that's a great question david cheese and rice again again i'll explain this tell me please i'm so stupid it's no you're not just a jerk now i feel bad just it's like squeegeeing a window have you ever seen a professional squeegeeer you know like the big office buildings oh they're like on the scaffolding yeah i believe squeegee is a derogatory term a squeegee i don't think you could call them squeegeeers anymore that's why they unionize we prefer to be called belgian americans Americans. All right? Now, if you're squeegeeing a window, you just, really, you just, you get the whole thing wet with solution.

I don't know what you get it wet with. Some R&B, something. And then you just take it and you start at the top right and you squeegee to the left and then you just go down a tick and then you squeegee from left to right and then you just go down a tick and then you squeegee from right to left and then you just go down a go down a tick and then you squeegee from left to right and then you just go down a tick and then you squeegee from right to left and then you just go down a tick

and then you squeegee from left to right then you go down a tick and then you squeegee from right to left and then it's dry you know yeah no you got me i can also just do it like this since we're on a video live video format it's like that it is crazy to think that they can see what we see right now. Here's the long arm thing that I was talking about. Look how goddamn long my arm is. Look at that. They look long as hell. Whoa.

I did this to Laura last night, and she looked at me like I was just an absolute asshole. I was like, look at how long your arm is. Wait, you did it not on Zoom. Yeah, I was just like, look at this. She's just like, hey, Laura like look at how you did it not on zoom yeah i was just like i look like a bully trying to stop like get the ball i was doing that thing no we were on a computer but we were she was helping me get the ring light figured out okay yeah okay the ring light looks good marissa Do you have a ring light too? I do I got two I have three but I don't know how to turn them on I just look like this

It's so nice that Sean isn't sitting on a floor anymore It is nice that Sean's not on the floor I am glad you're not sitting on the floor too I was on the floor with COVID last time we recorded It was a real fucking bummer Felt bad Felt like I was watching Trainspotting I didn't like it at all on the floor with covid last time we recorded it was a real fucking bummer yeah felt bad felt like i was watching train spotting i didn't like it at all i did not like it yeah well here i sit a lot of people are calling you a nazi in the chat sean um me now why yeah

i don't know why is that i don't know i think the comments, maybe, maybe they're not going to call me an Ian one. I mean, if one of us had to be your manifesto surface, what happened? Crap. Crap. Crap. Who's been digging around? Who's been digging in the pit? Basically, what it means is you pick a third, the first round you pick first in the second

round. Now, David, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I would have a manifesto and it would just be about different pastas I like. I like a Manapesto, dude. Sorry, I just wrote it when you said it. You call you the Ooni Bomber? You know what I mean? We do a little surf and turf thing on here.

Oh, I like that. I like that. If I was going to go skiing in Aspen, I'd have myself a nice Poofy Manavesto. You know what I'm talking about? There it is. So I'd fit in in the chalet. Poofy Manavesto. he actually invented dijon mustard poofy manifesto hello my name's poofy manifesto i'm your tinder date

character in house of gucci was named poofy manifesto it says on my bumble profile that my name is sean but it's actually poofy manifesto i'll save it for an in-person reaction you can't you can buy it you can buy a vespa from almost anyone in america but they bought it from poofy manifesto your drug dealer's favorite drug dealer we probably straight up made 1000 names on this podcast it never gets old it never poofy manifesto is currently engaged in a hostile takeover of the prego company he invented hair gel yeah dude poofy manifesto got max to go to bed just now poofy manifesto taught Danilo Gallinari

how to play basketball and how to make love. In that order. In that order. Oh. Poofy Manavesto. Poofy Manavesto, dude. Poofy Manavesto managed the four tops. He was the fifth.

They called him the fifth top. He was the fifth top, dude. The top. Dude top dude oh man what were we doing yeah you're picking the order oh yeah that's right okay okay you're picking the freaking order bud picking the freaking order to your bed uh i just gotta go david shawnee and david shawnee and i'm going to hot corner dude i'm on the Poofy Manivesto here on the end, dude. Poofy Manivesto, by the way, I think played third base. He was on the hot corner for the 1978 St.

Louis Cardinals. Weirdly enough, he was also in the group third base. He was the only guy to have done both. The hottest corner, dude. Joe DiMaggio actually dated Poofy Manivesto as well as Marilyn Monroe. Poofy Manivesto is Marilyn Monroe's birth name. Born on the Lower East Side

to Polish parents, Poofy Manivesto would one day shock the world. Boy, you really think I can sing? Of course I do, Poofy. Oh, boy boy thank you mister if you ever wanted to like just make like a 20 section caption of what my humor is you really just fucking know oh man poofy manifesto people are asking you to draft mars but you you've opted not to want to draft right just to clear that up for everybody i have

opted out because i will be back to draft and i've been strategically planning it for the past like six months so i'm gonna come in hot for my draft and i am too ill prepared for this draft to draft and I've been strategically planning it for the past six months. I'm going to come in hot for my draft. I am too ill-prepared for this draft to draft. Not to let everyone in on too much of our process, but we usually don't plan for six months before we draft. Sean, you're telling secrets.

I'm just saying. It's usually less than six months that we prepare for our individual list. I think you're going to blow us out of the water. i will tease that when i come back to draft i will be drafting life hacks is what i want to draft oh wow oh shoelaces yeah yeah david do a do a list like that then we won't have any crossover some other some other stuff you know. You mean like taking showers starting in middle school?

Stuff like that. David, you have given yourself the first pick in the movie props we'd like to own, All Fantasy Everything Draft, and we will get to that pick right after this short break. This episode of All. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their

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but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on. Probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor

there don't put off life insurance make it easy with policy genius head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save that's policygenius.com yeah we're back welcome back to all fantasy everything the only podcast that has ever existed the only hop in that has ever existed this The only Hopin that has ever existed. This is it. If you've listened to something or watched something, it has been all fantasy everything. Episode 9 of the fourth season of Cheers, that was

all fantasy everything. The Olivia Colman movie, The Lost Daughter, that was all fantasy everything. Ben Affleck's haircut in the last duel, you bet it was all fantasy everything. Ben Affleck's new teeth. All fantasy you bet it was all fantasy everything oh yeah ben affleck's new teeth all fantasy remember when he remember when he didn't have remember when his teeth were on point no i didn't know that was his teeth was his his grill was jacked watch like the goodwill

hunting trailer just google ben affleck uh teeth like before and after his teeth used to be like spaced apart and jet you didn't know it he's still gorgeous with it yeah i had no idea you look at the new teeth and you're like man it looks like he's got a tooth loaf now like it's just all like he man it didn't used to look like that he used to look normal tooth loaf oh man oh yeah he he kind of has like little guy teeth like the little teeth you know yeah they were like they were spaced yeah yeah yeah yeah little baby teeth yeah which i think is adorable that's cute dude look at you those cute little baby teeth ben well baby teeth be nobody knew how to take that okay i understand i got lost in the uh in the comment section uh yeah dana's in the chat yeah she says nice bookshelves yeah she would say nice bookshelves they were actually uh this entire office was conceived by puffy manifesto herself yeah man puffy manifesto and baby teeth got together you know it's a hit you know it's a hit baby teeth on the track it's a hit

and then they got they got silo to sing it call clive davis we got another one call don't call clive davis not a dick not a dick left in the room after that guy got all the members where clive davis is all right i'm trying i'm trying to go to the palm the ivy you know what i mean i'm trying to go to mastros dude without having my dick just torqued off of my body you know that mask they put on hannibal lecter clive davis has to wear one of those on each of his hands when he goes out to dinner now ripping my fucking dick off dude you know what i mean i'm just trying to have a meeting of the fucking minds i turned down 10 million dollars so i could have lunch with puffy manifesto and so i could just fucking pick their brains dude you even had to pay puffy manifesto cheap frugal

clive davis is at the fucking next table dude just iron my fucking package dude like he like you know what i mean like he's having the cob salad for dinner and fucking torquing my dick off for dessert and i gotta deal with that? Torquing your dick off? That sounds like a dessert. I usually thank people when they torque my dick off. I thought that was a whole different thing. Torque my dick off, dude.

When they torque it? Torque my dick off in Puffy Manifesto appearing live at Caesars Palace. Dork torquing, dude. Dork torquing! That's the mixtape, Sean! This dork torquen dude that's the mixtape sean this dork torquen motherfucker now we got now we really got a hit we got a name yeah dork torquen with sean jordan that's your next song it's you and daisy dukes looking behind you on the cover of course this is a popular show look at all the creative

content that we put dork torquen dork torquenorkin. Dork Torkin's great, dude. Dork Torkin. It is. Puffer Manivesto, Dork Torkin. You get caught up in the... Dork Torkin. Dork Torkin. Dork Torkin. Dork Torkin.

Oh, that's tight. You slip. You slide. You torque your dork and take a dive. Torque your dork? Get out of here. Cool off. Goerk your dork get out of here cool off go twerk your dork or something twerk dorky

I'm sorry I thought I called a 34 left sweep and it looks like what I called was you two dorks twerking your dorks off 34 dork 34 dork you have the first pick in the movie props we'd like to own

selected for us so here's the thing about this right are we picking the item from the movie or are we just picking the prop well now David I'll remind you

that you picked a ball pit when we were drafting food one time so i don't know that the rules necessarily apply in the way that you think they do our our chats own dana schwartz asked me this question but like earlier in the day when we were when i was thinking about what i was going to draft and i was like i don't know ask it again i was honestly just thinking about the shit i was going to talk what was the question that you said see now you don't get it. Are we taking the prop itself? Are we taking some prop master welded washer to a piece of metal? Or are we taking this thing and it works the way it does in the movie?

I took it as actually the thing, like the prop master thing. But I'm fully prepared to do what I got to do. If we want to take the working i know we're talking about one thing here probably and then to base all others on that but like there's we're talking about like hundreds of things well i know but there's one thing that's like a common like if you take it how it is in the movie you're the shit if you take it how it is from the prop master's guide you just kind of have something sitting there like i'm thinking of one very specific thing sex anyway victor fiorentini uh who is a descendant of poofy manifesto says it

has to be the prop so let's just go with the prop and but joshua sonko says no in the movie with powers and those are they're both sitting u.s senators so i don't know which one to listen to i think my list is pretty safe honestly let's go you know what let's go either way let's just fucking go either way let's go nuts let's go nuts just fucking do it oh okay i gotta i got one that's changing immediately so i had to do this this was like it was just the literally the first thing that popped into my mind yeah when we did this i'm taking the kidapult from richie rich whoa what's the kidapult it's a machine that launches kids i think this one works either way yeah no i i think let me try to find a youtube link what are we gonna do with it if we find it oh i guess you could put it in the chat you're gonna you're gonna stick it up your butt what are you doing i think we can

kind of understand what it is it's a prop you sit on it hey hey we can uh somebody pointed out we can do a poll right now let's do a poll can we put a poll up right now can you get kid a poll either way because i don't think it matters either way way let's do a poll right now how we do it uh prop or actual thing as the two choices and let's do an immediate poll kid a poll stands either way you guys not remember the kid a poll though i can send it to our group chat group i'm not as familiar uh with the kid ault as maybe you are let me see here i'm sending it i'm sending you guys a youtube link in our polls going up also while while we're on yeah i just heard the word group chat come out of your mouth david i'd like some more activity from everybody in our group chat there it is i feel like i'm putting fails in there all the time

that's a good call actually that's fair yeah i like i like some more i keep putting people eating shit on atvs and people dropping ice cream and fights at football games and you know people falling when they surf but like not getting hurt yeah yeah that's what i'm saying keep talking i like i'll be right back i keep pumping air into the chest of our group chat and uh not a lot not not getting a lot of feedback that's all i'm saying so you know i'm gonna keep pumping the air in that's fine but you know you have to message me on linkedin uh check your check your text i just i'm talking about the one with me and you and ian i just sent it to you it's like you sit in it and then richie rich presses the button and then you get launched i is it like a like a human cannon like they have at the circus kind of well you know what i'm talking you know what i'm talking about that human can how does

that work is that just like something that shoves the person out and they like actually go flying oh i've wondered that a bunch of times i don't know how it's not like gunpowder but like because the people do go flying through the air for real so is it just like uh uh fucking spring you know what i'm talking about i mean they light it right all right well i think that's for sure i don't think it's like gunpowder the human like candidate that at the circus that they probably don't do anymore it's a cannon cannon they don't actually shoot the person out though it's got to be like a spring or something that shoves them out and they leap off the spring right i don't know i kind of think like on a platform it's not like it shoots it can't really shoot them out like a bullet like with actual

force no way that people are saying it's actual gunpowder dude oh really yeah that seems maybe that's maybe that's why they probably don't do it anymore yeah because it's nuts i haven't heard about it for quite some time are you drinking dandelion juice sparkling dandelion tea dude i'm out here why do i say dandelion juice like that's an option in los angeles is it caffeinated no no no no no no no no by the way i had a few people hit us up from across the pond both sides if any of y'all are here right now thank you because it's a ridiculous time if you're in australia we have like 1 a.m yeah europe and australia europe europe and australia both hit us up i think it takes longer to get the poll up i think it might take a little a little bit longer than we think to get

a poll up and we've really and what we've done here is put the hop in team in a precarious position yeah i'm sorry guys with our material with our material nature and uh why don't we do this why don't we each do one pick uh just as as whatever either or and then the the later four will be whatever the the room tells us i like that okay great uh what's on the kidapult i don't know i think my brain also launched grown-ups in it like i need that like i'm not just trying to like shoot kids to them it's not called the adult he shoots a man in it he shoots a man in it what's the difference between what's the difference between a kid a kidapult and a catapult look at your texts ian oh yeah david he sent us i said it to us it's gonna explain the whole thing i'm looking at it now i'm looking uh no it's not loading wait there it is

oh it's an ad oh ralph's commercial yeah i like it um Ooh, a Ralph's commercial. Yeah, I like it. Oh, Macaulay Culkin. Oh, that thing's awesome. Yeah, man. Oh, no, we do. Man. Okay.

Actual thing from the movie is winning. So, all right. Well, I just so, okay. You're going to, I made my list as the prop, like I walked in and stole it from the prop department. So I will, I'll do some adjust. I think it's probably going to be pretty much the same. People have pointed out that now we're not drafting props.

We're drafting things for movies, but the people have spoken. So what we're doing is the watch the movie though the prop did work so i still tell still take the same shit yeah i mean i i think we're all old enough to know the parameters on that parameter dude you're just gonna fucking uh march parameter out here like that well let me let me throw something like the raptor from jurassic park we can't do that that's not a prop that we could take well this but that it that well under the old rules man this is all fucked up my list is my list is going to be pretty much what i set out to have it be i think i think i'm just going to stay maybe call a couple audibles here and there but i'm

gonna stay pretty oh no i got my first you know what can i go what also i've been to a prop department a lot of that shit works you ever been in the prop department like at conan and shit like that it's all just like working it all works so here here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna fucking overrule the democratic process right now here what you're watching is fascism in action what you're watching is the ball of democracy we're drafting the fucking prop where were you january 6th i'll tell you where i was dude i was in a bunker because i knew i fucking knew stop asking me the props and if you don't like it get cocking off and yum yeah suck it it's a bit of fun it's a bit of fun uh david boy taking the kidapult in my brain blank check and richie rich have turned into one movie i can't i can't remember which is which

totally i know what you mean i definitely remember which witchy witch i can't remember richie rich or witchy witch i mean to be fair the kidapult is really the only thing i remember about richie rich which one had a mcdonald's in his house that had a mcdonald's that was blank check that was blank which didn't he only have a million dollars yeah yeah i mean listen we'll all take a million dollars real quick sub draft go on if you could have a fast food restaurant in your house what would it be i can't have i can't have a fast food restaurant in my house you both were just like i can't do it if you ask me that in the mall episode when the first time we the three of us did this together i probably have an answer for you

i can't now i know it's breezy baby it would have been a taco I probably have an answer for you. I can't now. Panda Expresi, baby. It would have been a Taco Bell back then, but now I can't. I thought it was going to be a Panda Expresi. That's what I was thinking. Mine would be Panda Expresi. I just like saying Panda Expresi. I do like you saying it.

I've said it four times in the last 10 seconds. See, here's the thing. I feel like I can stop myself from eating Taco Bell, but I can't stop myself from eating Panda express no i know what you mean you give me a vat of orange chicken it'll go down a vat is the amount yeah give me one vat please i need a vat i haven't had taco bell in in a year yeah it doesn't come up no yeah maxine has it every day of course but i have the world is dangerous enough right now i feel like you can't like you're just tempting fate if you go to taco bell i don't need to get butt covid you know i feel like that's what taco bell's giving me

marissa's face when you said butt covid was marissa what if you could have a fast food restaurant in your house, what would it be? Tim Hortons? Tim Hortons? Nah. I do really like the Panda Express option. Even though Panda Express is considered, I guess, fake Chinese food or Americanized Chinese food.

As a Chinese person, I do like Panda Express from time to time. It's a different thing, but it's a good thing. Yeah. Sean Jordan, it is time for your first pick in the i'll say it again movie props all right um the first the first thing that popped into my mind when the idea came up and i think it's a good first pick is the rug from the big Lebowski oh nice it really ties the room together yeah I would really because I was trying to think of like what would like I would have it it would be my rug in the living room and so people would just kind of notice they'd be like

is that the rug and I could say every time they would ask like is this the rug from the big Lebowski and I'd be like well do you think it really ties the room together and then a little wink and then they'd be like oh my god you have the rug from the big lebowski do you and then they'd ask where the bathroom was let me cut you off real quick dave they'd ask where the bathroom was and i would say piss on the rug it's right here no i wouldn't do that do you think a lot of people would recognize it like do you think a lot of people would be like recognize it i i honestly don't i have an idea rug nobody would know you'd have to you'd have to take people aside at a party you know what i mean like hey come here that's the one hey come here you know what i mean you're like hey it would just be you see that rug over there yeah yeah i see which the

rug right in the middle in the room that rug right in the middle? In the room? That rug right in the middle of your wife Diana standing on? Yeah, well, wife. Can't say that for much longer. I don't want to dive into the minutiae of your relationship right now, but I'll tell you right now that Diane, whatever your marital status might be, she's standing on the rug for the Big Lebowski. She is not.

That one? That's the one? It's got that much red in it. I didn't know that. Where'd the guy piss? Did he really piss on it? No, he didn't actually piss on it. Okay. I always wondered if he really pissed all over it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no he didn't piss on it yeah i think that would be a uh a fun just a fun piece of uh movie trivia to have in your house you gotta tell people by the way yeah my homie just bought don rickles rug really yeah steve fine art shout out to fine arts oh hell yeah fine

arts is dank well now that i'm also in the rug game a little bit you know wait what is this you need to bring this up oh dude we have two dank rugs in the because they i mean that sound like brick they tie the room together for sure that's what a rug does i'm on a rug right now look at that yeah yeah we we like modeled the house after the rut, like you get the rugs and then you kind of pick the other colors based on, on the rug. So yeah, we got, yeah, I don't think you were,

they were here. Either one of them when you were here, David, one of them. Yeah. Anyway, I pissed on me. He does.

That's it. That's kind of been a thing. Ian pisses on every rug I have. I've only had the one. So, Oh yeah, no, he's a rug pisser from way back.

Took me 12 years to get it, but I got it i feel like it's hard to get into the rug business dude i feel like i feel like the people who sell rugs that's like those are established worlds dog i was at a rug auction one time and it's like serious business yeah dude it's like people spend a bunch of money it's really wild much it's really wild i was walking through uh like this area on Melrose the other day. Cause I had to take a COVID test at work and I was like, all right, I'm just going to get my steps in here.

And I like walked down where like the, where like the, uh, rag and bone store and like all these, like the real, real, like, like a very Tony bougie area on Melrose.

And the biggest store on this entire fucking block was this like massive fucking like two block long rug store and i was like damn these guys have like a bigger footprint than everyone else it's fucking gnarly no it's like a big it's a big it's like big money in rugs man yeah like i said at this auction they were going for thousands of dollars rugs dude yeah that's what you come to afe for dude fucking rugs dude yeah that's what you come to afp for dude fucking rugs and talking about how expensive framing shit is uh great dude it's fucking fucking yeah 140 bucks to frame that thing set your back dude don't fucking set your back anyway yeah man the rug from the burgla burski what are they doing they fucking using a hair dryer on some sand to make that glass? I mean what the fuck is going on back there

at the framing store? you tell me no I think it's just wood or synthetic stuff no it just seems like maybe they're back there with a hair dryer and a fucking sandbox making the fucking glass I think it's just a hammer and nails

maybe a sawzall for the prices they're charging, it seems like they're back there with a hair dryer and a bag of sand. I don't think so, man. A ring light will really get to you after about one big white cloth. Are you feeling spotlit right now? It's harsh. I'll tell you this.

I feel amazing. I'm so happy that we're doing this. I was nervous. I was honestly kind of nervous about this. I don't know why, but I was. I'm sweating saying it. But this is so fun. I'm having so much fun.

I think... I'm so thankful. It's crazy. I think all this time in a ring light is probably good preparation for when you're forced to give testimony on your whereabouts on July 6th once the Capitol subcommittee catches up with you. Dude, just look at where

I was on the 5th. It'll tell you where I was on the 6th. Man, figure it out. Where wasn't I on the 7th? You know what I mean? Open your mind's eye, bro. Where weren't you on the 6th? Except for my first and second picks. As it is. As it is.

As it is. With my first pick, I'm going to take from the motion picture, Goodfellas. Shit. The painting. Yeah. With the guy sitting in the boat. And you got one dog going one way.

And you got another dog going the other way. Like, so what's the big deal? That's a good. That's a good pick. What do you want from him? That's a good ass pick. Oh, man. Come on.

Yeah. what do you want from us big oh man come on yeah that one people would walk into the room and be like is that yeah yeah is that is that from goodness you're like yeah it's the very one it's the very fucking one you got this guy in the middle like what do you want from me because it's it's like the it's like the good it's like the big lebowski rug except people will know people who know and most people if you're here you'll know would know what it is but you could also sort of integrate it into what your house is going your design anyway you know what i mean so you can put other shit around it goodfellas painting dude yeah man that was i had uh i had a pick from Goodfellas

on my list that is way too similar to that to pick. Is it the knife? No, no. What's it called, Ma? The hoof. Oh, wait. Am I an asshole? Is that the same painting?

The hoof. What are you talking? That's the painting from that scene. I'm mixing up. Sorry. I thought that was a different painting. The painting where he's like, well, that's him talking that's the painting from that scene oh i thought that was a different i'm mixing up sorry i thought that was a different painting where the painting where he's like well that's that's him that's the guy wait is shane torres actually in the chat if that's actual shane we love you shane if it's fake shane i love it even more i was i was wrong that's the same painting where they they're like that's him that's the guy it looks it looks like someone we know yeah that's that's the same painting. Oh, I was thinking. Yeah, sorry. I was blowing it.

Then yes, that was the exact thing. By the way, Justin put up a poll. I don't know if you guys mentioned this. As to what fast food restaurant would you want to have in your house, Taco Bell beats Panda Express by a mile. Really? A mile, dude. Really? Interesting. Wait, where is... Oh, alright. Well, thanks. Thanks for dragging me

through the mud, J-Bone I appreciate it man don't fucking pin it's not his you're shooting the messenger here dude no it's my fault I was kidding it was my fault I made the wrong choice it's a personal choice yeah that painting dude

I would want to sit under it even just looking at it reminds me because you know what's the best food is like when a maternal figure goes and gets something out of the fridge for you. I don't know if that's Oh, I understand what you're saying. I got confused.

You know in that scene when they get there and like Martin Scorsese's mom goes and is like pulling all these like veal cutlets or whatever out of the, oh shit, Clyde Davis is in the chat, like pulling all this Italian food like out of the fridge and stuff like that. It reminds me of when I would go to New York and then Florida to visit my grandma. Every time we got off the chat, like pulling all this Italian food like out of the fridge and stuff like that. It reminds me of when I would go to New York and then Florida to visit my grandma. Every time we got off the plane

and she was like, oh, I gotta go see what I have in the fridge. I don't know what's in the fridge. And she just like pulls out like an amazing cold cut platter and like four different kinds of salad. Maybe, am I, is it a Jewish thing? Four different kinds of salad? Like, but like mayonnaise based salads and shit. Like there's like a whitefish salad and then like mayonnaise based salads and shit like there's

like a white fish salad and then like a potato salad and like a macaroni salad i've had two of those no i mean i know i completely understand where he's i mean it's more with like my mom like when i go home and she just like wants to feed me yeah but it's it's that thing and she'll like give me way too much food, but I'm like, that's all going. It's like, I got it. I can get it all down. Fucking love it.

Where is the painting going in your house? Is it going in the kitchen? Yeah, I think it has to go in the kitchen kitchen. Yeah. Okay. Like right, like right where it was like in the,

like if it's in my house right now, I don't have like a dope dining room. I just have like a kitchen with like a room next to it. You don't even, there's not like a separate. And I would put, I would put it in there. Uh,

and I think, and I would put some stuff around it, you know? Yep. Uh, good. Indian moms and grandmas cook. I just think it's a mom and grandma thing.

Yeah. But when we go back to Dana's now, like my mom does it too. So much food. And when we go to Dana's now, they, they've always gone to a deli and there's like a bunch of food. It's amazing.

Definitely, Shane Torres. You guys are jerks. I don't talk like that. I don't think it is Shane Torres. I don't think it is. Because it's Saturday night. He's at Magoobie's. He's pumping, dude.

Shane is not putting that picture up, by the way. Yeah, Shane is headlining Juliet, Illinois right now. I mean, Shane, to be fair, i think that was a headshot for a yeah it's not a bad picture of him no it's smoldering it's i'm just saying it's hot he's got he's got danker ones now he's a hot guy deal with it he is very attractive in some of those pictures where i'm just like man he just looks sturdy and attractive and it's amazing yeah you know what i mean he just looks fucking strong he looks like he'd win one you ever see i'm sure you've seen these sean those slap fights videos those dudes are just like shane looks like he'd be good at those not fights

you mean those slap competitions yeah competitions yeah slap cops slap slap that is that is one of the craziest things that i've ever where people stand with their hands behind their back and they'll just go like yeah yeah and then they just unload and slap somebody as hard as they can it's crazy to watch it's wild yes I've seen plenty of those. Shout out to the Buffalo Bills. That's how we play games. It's time for my second pick. With my second pick, I'm going to take from the motion picture, Jurassic Park. Oh, no.

I got a couple things I wanted to take here. But I think I got it. I'm torn even right now. In this moment, I'm torn. I got to go with a can of Gillette that opens up and has a secret compartment in it. That's like, yeah, dude, it's Jurassic Park off the board now. God damn it. I don't think so. You can still take Jurassic Park stuff.

I'm sorry if I ruined it with the Raptor thing. I was just trying to look for an example, but I don't think it's off the board at all. Why are we even talking about the Raptor thing? That's all right. You can still like like a rapper if you want yeah dude let's not say pics in the chat let's not say pics in the chat i mean to be fair all right they're really cycling through i have i i'm uh i'm trying to keep it focused but yeah it's hard the chat is so distracting i keep looking over there in my head i cycled through like i had a i had a list of probably like four different things from jurassic park one of the most formative movies for me

i was obsessed with dinosaurs it came out when i was nine years old i mean fucking hand meets right dude it was perfect in the pocket but um this was the one that i think blew my mind the most when i was that age when like he opened it up and there's also something very satisfying about canisters does anyone else feel like that i understand what you're saying yeah yeah i find canisters very exciting the fit yeah and the fact that it still did like it did the like you could get like shaving cream from it too sure i think the secret compartment aspect is so fun yeah oh my bad secret compartments are the best oh yeah dude but then did you ever get old and have one for like drugs or something and you're like this seems kind of sleazy yeah i wouldn't keep drugs in it i don't know what i would keep it i probably

keep something funny in there pens maybe i feel like you could put pens in there. It'd be funny if in your previous life you kept a bunch of condoms in there. Yeah, it would be funny to keep a bunch of condoms. I still use condoms, dude. I just wear them all day. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but that's just your safety condoms. You're wearing one right now, but that's because

you don't want to get COVID. COVID is everywhere. COVID is everywhere. People don't think to get COVID. COVID is everywhere. COVID is everywhere. And people don't think it rains in LA. It rains. Maybe if you were to wear a Jimmy hat, you wouldn't have got it, Sean. Yeah, Sean. Yeah, well, you'd sing that all day, my friend. So those are my two picks.

The Shedding Cream Cown from Jurassic Park, JP And the So What Painting From Goodfellas, Sean Jordan So and so, it's time for your second pick This is tough man So this is something that people would definitely know what it was And I probably have it I'm probably getting a big Glass cube for this

It's probably going to be like It's going to be a big deal because I think it's probably gonna be like it's gonna be a big deal because i think it's a very good one it's gonna be wilson from castaway oh yes oh that's a good one i think it's i love i love that movie and how they built it's crazy to me how they built a relationship between a person and a volleyball it's so insane and when he loses wilson for a number of reasons you feel sorry for him i cry almost every time i see that if i don't cry i think something's wrong with me but every time that scene when he's apologizing it's almost getting me now it's so good and to think that he lived for how long was it was he when i was it like was it like eight years or something am i crazy

i don't know whatever long i've still never seen it wasn't it somebody somebody posted in the chat it was a long time i don't think it was i think it might have been three years someone just put cum in the chat that's not what i said to put we were talking about condoms we can't really tuck tuck people for putting cum in the chat dude yeah yeah yeah it's a cup chat now yeah uh well it was a it was a long time anyway it just it's such a cool thing that he built a relationship with that one thing the volleyball and you could like you haven't in the crib was not a hundred years moo four years all right i'll take that i got a pretty good tom hanks dude have you have you can i can i try my tom hanks hit it i'm gonna do wilson and i'm gonna do another one wilson wilson and then yeah there's no crying in baseball wait i put a

little too much i like that one better there's no crying in baseball i like i like the league of their own better yeah yeah yeah there's no crying in baseball i'm trying to think of what else he's active when he's saying in Castaway. I can only do like a yelling one. Yeah, I'm trying to think of him yelling in Castaway. You remember when he's hearing all the coconuts fall? Yeah. And he's just... By the way, think about that.

Like you're on an island, you don't know what's going on, and you just hear rustling in the island, and it's just coconuts falling. And when he's screaming, he's like, hey, hey! Just screaming into the void at night. night oh anyway wilson from castaway i think that would be so fun to have like in whatever guest room i have it's not in it's it's not in like a memorabilia room it's in a guest room just somewhere but it looks nice where it's at and it's in a glass case i don't want any kids there's no crying in baseball sorry tom wait you're lucky i can see you i would have thought tom himself was in here well sam all right okay so yeah go say i'm sorry when

he loses him and he's i'm sorry i'm sorry that was really good dude that was really good you know tom hanks's brother so like any voiceover role so like if there's like a toy story video game or like a extended toy story like uh movie you know what i mean that they put on disney plus tom hanks's brother does all the voices uh-huh yeah it's pretty cool i know like nice little come up right for tom hanks's brother because vo pays pretty good and then chetet makes some of David's favorite music. So it's like... David doesn't love Chet Hayes' music.

I watched that Channel 5 interview and I just was so... He just makes me so mad. Of the three of us, you've listened to the most. Yeah, I know. I know. I did like that song, but like, God, I fucking don't like that guy. Yeah song but like god i fucking don't like that guy yeah man castaway castaway you are a toy damn easy dude oh wilson did to you you prick he's a toy too dude oh that's what clive davis says to your

dork after he torqued it. I didn't know about that. Torquing dorks out here. Dork Torquemada, dude. T and D's. Wilson from Castaway. David Boyd, coming for you second and then your third picks, as it is, Serpentine Draft. Oh, I want the balls from Glen Gary Glen Ross.

The big brass balls? Yeah the big metal clangers I've only seen that movie one time Yeah one time Maybe correct me if I'm wrong Did we ever watch it at the fortress? Did we ever throw it on

one night? I feel like we did We've thrown on that part a bunch of times well yeah there's been a few parts i've seen a thousand times i feel like the closer scene zach used to throw on the closer scene yeah it'd be so funny and just be like check this out i feel like that movie is a sean jordan sunday morning classic i'm surprised you've only seen it once. It's so aggressive. Yeah. Fuck, come on. Do you...

You know you were talking about going to sleep to fight videos. I act by accident. By accident? What do you mean by accident? My hand is forced. My phone's just... David, you can't shut them off. Turn on a fight video.

There's no shutting it off. It's not my fault. I don't know what you want me to do, man. Hands are tied. Dork is torqued. I don't know what you want me to do. First place is a brand new Cadillac. It's so aggressive.

Second place is a set of steak knives. Third place is your dork gets torqued off, dude. Your dork is torqued. What do you mean it's so aggressive what if they reshot that with alec baldwin and getting him to do the monologue the same way but saying your dork is torqued just as aggressive straight face the whole thing like he talks about mitch and murray and they're yeah twerking dorks you know there's only like seven people or something in that movie six seven isn't it, it was a play, right?

Yeah. Dave Mamet, dude. A fellow David. There's not camaraderie like that. Everyone say goodbye to Sue Carmel. She's got to take off. She's a charge nurse tonight. Oh, have fun at work.

Bye, Sue. Bye, Mom. Bye, Sue. Thank you for talking me through Maxine having COVID. I was terrified. and your mom uh talked me off the ledge so she'd be doing that it was very nice yeah uh there's the glenn and gary and glenn and ross thing on youtube where it just shows all the swear words cut together that's very funny i thought glenn and gary and glenn and ross is the recut of the trailer so it looks like a

rom-com you're right well there's some some part if you just type in glenn gary glenn and ross is the recut of the trailer so it looks like a rom-com you're right well there's some some part if you just type in glenn gary glenn ross swear words it'll come up and it's just all them being like fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck it's just like minutes of that it's hilarious david mammoth's one of those like post norman mailer dudes who loves cussing you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah just loves loves cussing i You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just loves cussing. He loves cussing. I love to cuss. Don't invite that David Mamet over.

He loves cussing. And then he comes strolling in, cussing off a storm, dude. Fuck's going on. He loves cussing. He just sits alone in a dark room with a glass of wine saying, fuck. Yeah, Dave Mamet here. Fuck you. Fuck you.

What are you doing? His scripts have a lot of the fuck word and then like dashes yeah well dave what's the rest of this fucking fill it in man i did the important stuff little devil who loves to cuss that's what for some reason in my head i thought you were gonna say loves to cuck and i was like this is weird whoa oh yeah that's what i thought you were gonna say dave cheese and rice oh it's cucking weird people don't like i thought it was big i think it is big yeah no i think i think fights at football games are like what people are into are you implying that cucking is david's algorithm you kind of yeah yeah wait Are you implying that cucking is David's algorithm?

Yeah, yeah, wait. David, how do you get to sleep at night? Oh, I watch cuck videos. Old Friar Cuck, dude. Oh, no, I don't. Old Cuckard Carlson. Cuckard Carlson? Cuckard Channing. oh fryer wait you said fryer yeah i did yeah you didn't say cuckberry no you

cuck closterman dude dude cuck nor his nor his oh oh wow a couple all these are screen names you'll see david using i won't i don't have twitter david's pick balls from glenn gary glenn ross glenn gary glenn ross and your third pick david balls oh i want radio raheem's love and hate five finger rings from do the right thing yo oh yeah totally yeah yeah man i you know every time it just that was one of the movies that i did for movies in black and white when they did that in portland that brief stint where they were like let's have a comic talk about the race impact of the racial impact of this movie david have you heard i had not seen right i have i told you this story it blows my mind every time you know the movies i got i got straight out of compton i got do the right thing and i got it was in the heat of the night with sydney poitier r.i.p those are three of the

most racially charged straight out of compton less so it's that's dray and and cube trying to make themselves look good i think is more the racial but like those other two movies are insane and i had not seen either one of them and they were like it's cool just come on and talk about it why were you the one they picked like i don't even mean to be i just like no so they picked they picked like a white a white person and then a person of color i understand that why why was it me i don't know the one that they picked? I don't know. Was the person of color a comedian as well? Was it just two comedians? Or was it like... Was it just you and a professor?

Dude, when it was NWA, there were rappers. I was so far out of my element on Straight Outta Compton specifically because there were rappers up there with me. There was a doctor up there, or a PhD up there with me, like a professor in racial politics or something. It was shocking. And then somebody asked me, I dude,

it makes me. Nampay says you told a story about spitting on a cop. Oh God. I, I might've told the story cause I did one time spit on a cop and, uh, I might've told the story about, you got away with that,

huh? Yeah. And that's, I think why I said that. That's a pretty interesting story. You know who doesn't have stories like that me all right i was gonna twerk my dork right in front of him no it's anyway it's just shocking that i was out there saying the dumbest stuff that you could say one time at one point i was like well you know i just i don't know why everybody can't be cool with each other and somebody from the crowd like yelled and i was like now i look back and i'm like

of course of course that they didn't want to that's not that's what you said after watching do the right thing i don't know why everybody can't just chill like everybody's not upset and there's pizza i don't get it somebody one time somebody asked me why um like like if i had experienced racism in my life and i was like not really and whatever and they were like i said i was from south dakota and they were like what about the native americans and i go that's an amazing point yeah because i just i had completely spaced that i was it was so stupid for me to be up there right it was shocking no place for you not because you're definitely smart enough and but like i just i'm not able to wax it's for it's like that's also no place for someone with i don't like with with like it was just there it was just particularly

a place for a comedian to be honest no i'm not like on this i'm not on this dave chappelle fucking comedians or civil rights activists bullshit man i know nothing i know nothing there are people who went to school for that shit you know i know about having a positive attitude that's like roughly the extent of my knowledge that's what i'm saying you have like a positive you're like you're someone with a with a with a beautiful heart and the best of intentions and it's like no that alone can't get you into that conversation. You know what I mean? Cause people are going to like, no pin you on the wall.

And they should, because it's, it's, it should be for scholars and people to talk about. It's no place for the likes of us. We're idiots. Anyway, that,

that, that though. Yes. To get back to the problem. Hey, perfect. Amazing. That was quite wearing a four finger ring. like wearing a four-finger ring?

I've never... I can only imagine it's like robbing five banks. Yeah, it probably feels powerful. Have either of you, any of you, had your fingers connected by rings before? I've never had more than one. Why did you say it like that? I've never had more than one finger with a ring on it at one time.

No. No. You ever had like a dual or a triple or anything no no no i i don't i never have had a ring i've had my wrist connected by rings a couple times not nearly as fun that's happened a handcuff full of times i used to have some of those claw rings that would extend over a full finger and kind of give you a claw. Oh, I've seen those. Yeah, like the single finger.

Yeah. Sneaky gothic. Yep. Yeah. Back in my goth days. Do you ever like accidentally like go to like scratch your neck or your head or something

and then I'll like open a vein? Like what? Like it looks like dangerous. Oh, it is so dull, but it actually feels nice to kind of scratch it with a metal point. Feels good. Alright. Maybe we should all start wearing claw rings. That would be

a crazy turn. All the same. You're going to be a different writer if you do that. What was that, Marissa? I don't know if I can do this anymore. Oh, wow. What is that? I can't do that. I don't know if I can do this anymore. Whoa. Wow. What is that? Whoa.

I can't do that. I don't think I can do that. No. I ain't got it, cuz. No. I learned that from one of my favorite movies, Dr. Horrible Sing-Along Blog. Oh. Shout out to NPH.

NPH was one of my first celebrity crushes. Neil Patrick Harris. Yeah, for many years wow from the doogie days doogie days dude what i've got some bad news about mph for you after the podcast oh no not really it's just that he's a gay man just in regards to your crush not yeah what uh what what was your goth phase like? When were you a goth? It was more like a... Oh, you were a goth when we knew you.

It was kind of like more of an emo or scene phase. Oh, I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the fashion mostly. It was mostly for like the fashion that I liked. Emo night. Yeah. Emo night.

Yeah, I go hard on emo night. On emo night, I bring the fashion back. I can't wait till fucking we can go to an emo night when things clear up. Really, any night. The amount of things that I'm Oh dude I was talking about this trick the other day. I was just talking about that. Yeah man. Don't do

I don't know. It hurt. How you're not bleeding. Is it a prosthetic? How do you not bleed when you Wait a minute. It's magic. You have all your fingers though. It's magical. It's a magical thing. And I've seen a child be born twice there's way more magic anyway twice sure thing radio rahim's rings would be amazing you'd have to dress to him although

you could you have a lot of clothes you could wear with i think i would also just keep them like on a mantle or something where you could just see i don't think i'd wear them all the time those no those would be nice though like just sitting. Good conversation piece just to have at the crib. Yeah, I like that. That's dope. I like that. Sean, time for your third pick. Oh, crap.

Third pick. I'm going. I'm going to go Tom Cruise's sunglasses from Top Gun. Yeah, you are. Come on. Nice.

I've seen you. I've seen you with mock versions of that prop many times. I have like nine pairs of aviators and I've been trying to get it right. You just can't do it. It's because the sunglasses have to be inverted. Inverted. Yeah, dude.

I have that shirt. it's written upside down i was inverted it's dank yeah man i'd get me at a wedding with just the biggest aviators you can find outdoor wedding middle of summer big aviators you really don't get me in a better mood every time we've ever gone swimming too you end up with aviators yeah i feel like every time we go swimming we make that uh we make that mrs doubtfire joke right it's like isn't it every time we go swimming yeah well that's me trying to be pierce brosnan when i do the drive by fruiting thing yeah yeah because you get out of the pool and you slick your hair back dude you can slick my shit back. Tom Cruise was wearing the Ray-Ban model 3025, the gold green polarized,

and they're $168. You can get your hands on those. You can get what he was wearing? Yeah, they're Ray-Ban. I've never looked for real. That'd be like if you told me there was... Wait a minute. There's a candy store out front of my

house i didn't think candy stores existed they have a whole list of all the sunglasses worn in top gun dude if you want if you want ice man those are the ray-ban shooter 3138s this is where the ray-ban caravan 3136s so ray-ban had their fingers in there if you want wolf bands wearing the ray-ban clubmaster 30 16s whoa that's a lot of words you just i'll tell you what if maxine goes to bed and i'm in i'm in as saucy as a mood and i am right now i might buy those get them get them dude and i'm telling you airboss johnson's wearing the ray-ban outdoors Outdoorsman 3030s, dude. There's somebody in Top Gun named Airboss Johnson? Airboss Johnson, yeah.

Come on. I didn't know that. I'll tell you what. Keep your Airboss Johnson tucked in if you're around Clive Davis. He'll hork it right off. Yeah, dude. Or wait, torque it. You might hork it off.

I feel like horking it is with your mouth and torquing it's with your face. Yeah, you're right. Oh, I and torquing it's with your. Yeah, you're right. Oh, I thought torquing it was with your butt. I thought that's what you were talking about this whole time. That's forking it. That's forking your dork. If you're going to fork your dork. Oh, if you're a dork forker.

It's okay. I get that. I get that. I get that. If you got your dork forked, you get a high five. And which one is a French blowjob? Same thing. That's a torque dorkin'?

A French blowjob is a dork forkin'. A dork forkin' is the same as a French blowjob. Okay, I understand. I understand. I understand. Fork my dork sounds like something someone would yell when they were too angry to properly insult you. Yeah, like when your brain melts down? Well, fork my dork!

They're just leaving Disneyland with five kids. Four of them aren't theirs. Oh, man. Fork! Fork your dork! Pal, pal! Fuck!

Fuck! Yeah, exactly, like you're in the car. Fork your dork, you fucking nerd! pal pro you're fucked up fuck yeah yeah exactly like you're in the car like oh boy i haven't done that in a while said anything stupid when i'm mad that i've this guy almost backed into us in a u-haul like the beginning of covid and he backed up and i didn't move and then he hopped out of his car and he said something. I was like, calm down. And then he said something else. And I was like, what's up, bro? I said it just like that. Right when I got done, I was like, oh, you idiot. What's up, bro? I just like, well, what's up, bro? Like, what are we going to do? I didn't, I wasn't fully saying bro yet. I hadn't entered that stage like I have now.

My move when someone wants to go to the beef counter with me is I'll just be, I just ask them, what are we going to do? Fight? When somebody wants to go to the beef counter. That is always funny when you're like, hey, are we going to fight? Is that what's going to happen? Let's just cut to the chase. You know what I mean? Are we going to fight? Are gonna are we gonna fight are we gonna fight fight each other we're

not gonna fight we're not gonna fight so let's stop we're gonna yeah they just take it there i'm like where are we where's this going where's this go it's like if it's you know what i mean if you've been on four dates with someone and it seems like it's not going anywhere let's just lay it off we're gonna fight we're gonna fight are there. Are we going to fight? We're not going to fight. Get back in your car. It's like that guy. I think you're tall enough to make that tactic work for you.

It works a lot. Mavericks shades. It's good, dude. It's a good pick. Tom Cruise's Top Gun sunglasses, which again, you can go fucking buy, i might man i really might and then i might lie about how much they cost when they show up cannot believe you haven't bought them yeah i think they'd look really good on you actually yeah we've seen

it with similar glasses and they do look cool he looks like tom cruise man Man. Tom Booz. Tom Booz, dude. Time for my third and fourth picks as tis. And with my third pick, I'm going to take the Sex Panther cologne and the box that comes in from the movie Anchorman. Oh, you motherfucker! I thought I was going to be able to get it! Damn it!

I'm going to be honest, that smells like pure gasoline. Smells like Indian food in a diaper, dude. Which, by the way, I've never smelled Indian food and thought it smelled bad. No, me either. It always feels real tinged with racism when people say shit like that.

You know what? I'll eat Indian food out of a diaper. Fucking send it over. I would too. Send it over. Before diapers are used, they're clean. Yeah, but then clean diaper. Yeah, I was going to say, as long as there's no poop in the diaper, I'd there's no poop in the diaper i'd eat anything out of a plunger if it's off the shelf you know what i mean it just got to be clean like a new plunger if that's like a mobile way to eat soup yeah you didn't bring it you're just like you have cotton candy but it's if you're like hey hey sean me and dave are gonna go for a walk do you want

to come with oh shit you just took your soup out of the... Yeah, I just made soup. Well, hold on. I can't possibly. And then you grab a plunger because it's got a handle. Pour the soup in it. And you're like, I'll come. And then you're just walking.

If you can show me the price tag on the plunger, as if to say this is a brand new plunger, then sure. Or I just take it to an ice cream place and I go just fill it up. I keep a soup plunger on me. Put a bunch of sauce. I keep a soup plunger on me yeah you know i keep a soup you know that i'd love to come to my bachelor party you know what i do man that'd be so funny to get to get way too mad at somebody for not knowing you keep a soup plunger on you i'm genuinely hurt no you know that i'm genuinely

hurt you're maxine's godfather you know that i don't have a fucking soup plunger on me i need to reassess a lot a lot of stuff yeah man what's it called sex panther what is it it works 100 percent of my already a study show study they've done studies you know it says what is it like 80 percent of the time it works every time or something like that yeah he's like that doesn't make sense now was that like our introduction to super funny paul rudd i think it was for sure yeah because i wasn't like big on like i'm i'm kind of young for like clueless and shit yeah so like for me that was super funny and clueless he was just like kind of a dude yeah also also yeah that was that for me was like that was the first time i ever was like oh this guy

he turned into like the funny ass paul rudd that we see now i think it might have been you know my right one is called the octagon and my my left one is called Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. God, I would shit my pants the first time I saw that. Those are real people that he knows. He'd like my testicles. They're James Westfall and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. Those are real dudes that Paul Rudd came up with.

That's so funny. How sick is that? Kenneth Noisewater. That's even funnier because then it's like, imagine like you just see me in a movie and I'm like, yeah, nickname my testicles. The right one's Ian Carmel and the left one, Sean Jordan.

What a funny thing to do. What a funny, funny thing to do. That's, that makes it, that's so hilarious. I would fucking love that. Uh,

but the box, it's, it, you open it and then it comes up with a little panther roar. And then you would know what it smells like. And then it's like a panther head that you unscrew, right? Yeah.

Or the ear comes off or something like that. Yeah. It would just be great. I'm a cologne man. I keep cologne. You do. You keep me laced in cologne. I'll be right back. I'm a keeper of cologne. Sean's going to go. Sean's going to go talk to the feds, they're finally here why is he going he's going to he has to answer the fbi have like a series of questions for him oh i understand can i ask you guys what is everyone drinking this draft oh yeah shout out to Canada. I'm drinking Labatt's. Oh. Oh, nice.

How do you like it? Yeah. Good. It's a weird story. But yeah, I came up on a bunch of Labatt's. No questions. Nice. What are you drinking, Ian?

I'm drinking, I'm keeping it sober for this episode. This is a beach plum LaCroix. Ooh. And then I'm drinking this sparkling botanical dandelion ginger drink that's like kind of a spicy. Ooh, it's kind of spicy.

Is that when they smell it for the first time? Ooh, it's kind of spicy. It tastes kind of spicy on your tongue. It's good though, but it's definitely an LA hipster ass

fucking drink. I got it at the la hipster store on my street i'm trying this drink for the first time i specifically got it because it is the name of an ultimate in uh overwatch it's high noon and it's it's quite good i like it it's a vodka soda it's a vodka it's a peach vodka soda i would recommend quite good i'll always get anything peach flavored yeah peach rings dude shout out to peach rings yeah i just love it good movie snack good movie snack uh i'm taking the sex panther color color uh in the box from anchorman i'd like to have that somewhere in my house okay

now i'm gonna go to uh uh one of the motion pictures directed by quentin tarantino and i'm going to take the watch that christopher walken smuggled in his butt in pulp fiction up his ass up my ass do you want to keep it post ass or pre-ass i guess you want to post ass okay yeah oh do you want the whole butt attached well no i don't want his ass with it but it does need to have been in his ass oh yeah it's not a problem in his ass yeah the butt smuggled watch from pulp fiction i wonder how far method acting goes like if you put d-day in there and uh they were like so in the movie this had been up his butt for like a year and if d-day is like all right we start filming in a year and one day then give me the watch you would for sure have it in his butt i think daniel day lewis would absolute daniel

day lewis and jeremy strong would absolutely have had that in their butt oh yeah 100 yeah yeah so bucked to think about they probably would have daniel day lewis would be calling the director like hello i'm terribly sorry i seem to have accidentally shot out another one of the prop watches and i'm i'm going to need another one i don't know what voice that was him i don't really remember the movie is it like in a plastic bag up his butt or is it just like without any covering just up the butt no it's he's holding it he's got the watch it's been up his butt, he's holding it. He's got the watch. It's been up his butt

and he's giving it to the son. I'll do it. Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together over five years. Hopefully, you'll never have to experience this yourself.

But when two men are in a situation like me and your dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Major Coolidge would be talking right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is, I'm talking to you, Butch. I got something for you.

And then he gives him the butt watch, which is like a family heirloom. Which, Butch, is Butch. That's short for butt watch. I mean, that's butt watch. I just want to let everyone know that was Christopher Walken didn't walk in to the room. Walk in.

It was actually, it was me. He didn't shout from the other corner of the room. And also, if you weren't, that was not Tom Hanks earlier. No no no no no no no no no no no that was also me that was john voight i'm perfect at almost every impression uh do rizza dude i'm not doing r this no I'm not doing it is this you declining the duressa no no I'm done but he was holding the watch wasn't in a bag I think he was holding it

I think he was holding a watch I don't think it had traps on it no but like I think Mars is asking in when it was up his butt was it in a condom a bag or was it just like raw I think it was raw yeah it was raw he was a prisoner of war in Vietnam. That's gnarly to have like all the, you know,

that's Buck. Yeah, Buck Williams, dude. Shout out to Buck Williams. Yeah, man. It would just be fun. I would wear it. Yeah, why not? I'd fucking, I'd spray some Lysol on it.

I'd fucking wear it. It wasn't actually up anyone's butt. It's just a movie prop. Wouldn't be the first thing on my wrist that's been up somebody's ass. Wouldn't be the first thing for me because my hand's on my wrist that's been up somebody's ass. Wouldn't be the first thing for me. Because my hand's on my wrist.

I couldn't figure out a way to say it. That's why you make the big bucks, my friend. Because it's my hands right here, you see. It would just be a cool watch to have. You know what I i mean i'm not like a luxury watch guy or anything like that but like people are like oh nice watch i'd be like you know what this watch is oh man you know yep you know where i love it you know where i got this one i don't know where you got that one you know you know i got this watch dude can you imagine if like hey if you look at your watch and you're like okay it's 4 15 and then you know you're walking going about your business and

someone's like hey what time is it you look down your watch joker face yeah man it would be a twist i don't know what time it is i guess it's time to go rob the mall yeah uh it's time to go rob chinese jamal dude is what time it is and what it actually time is oh that's a big mistake yeah yeah good luck my friend many have you want to go back to juvie i was gonna say i don't not want to go back to juvie yeah i'm saying it was cool it's time for us to take another short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing.

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And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. This is the All Fantasy Everything hop-in spectacular, the first of several. We're drafting movie props already in progress. Ian has just taken his fourth pick and we're about to really enter the meat of the fourth round.

Sean, Jordan has the next pick. You know what I'd like to hop into is a hot tub full of lotion, but that's neither here nor there. Thank you, Marissa. A lot of people put hot water in the hot tub. You could save yourself a headache and just put hot lotion

in a hot tub. It's what I like. It's neither here nor there. It's actually what I like about it because it's everywhere. Negative space. Every crevasse, every cavity on my body oh lotion in your belly button hello sunday you know so for my fourth pick i'm gonna go painting too i'm gonna go the painting that uh so it's set it

up it's one of the funniest movies still holds up it was one of the first movies when i was like in my in my 20s where i was like that's the funniest movie ever made and it still holds yeah and it was in the it was in those years when they were like this crew you about to take something from rockadoodle i'm about to take something from wedding crashers i'm going to take the painting that todd painted vince bond that's funny and wedding crashers and uh when he takes it and he goes, I'm keeping the painting, it was a gift. And Todd's like secretly excited. It was...

It's so fun. And that would be in a more joking way, that would be something I could have hanging in my house that people would get. They'd be like, oh, is that the painting from Wedding Crashers? And I would say, it sure is. It's hard to mistake. Where would Laura let you put that up it's not all up to her i think it is i i get free reign over the garage and i could you could put it anywhere it's sexual and violent i think you might like it

i got a naked lady painting i get get it. It's sexual and violent. Yeah. I just, a little bit of culture in my draft. You know, dude, what am I? I'm rocking. I got a rug. I got a painting. I'm putting a living space together over here.

I got a volleyball. Yeah, dude. Because I like to have fun. Yeah. And then some shades because I watch TV when it's real bright. Of course. Are you motorboat and son of a bitch? Of course you are all that stuff.

You old sailor.or yeah it's just yeah it's just so dope when the whole dynamic with him and todd and i just love how vince bond insists on keeping the painting yeah that's the fun part he's like it was a gift everything that happened if someone presented me with a painting of me naked except for a fig leaf i would absolutely keep that does he am i crazy he doesn't have an apple is he holding an apple is like an adam thing uh i don't know off top let me look hold on okay yeah he's plucking an apple off of an apple tree there's several apples at the top yeah so he's like adam looks good too he's got like just the faintest d'angelo on him you know it's funny in that movie if you watch the commentary vince vaughn says that he told the director like anytime that they could work in

him eating to do that because he wasn't at his thinnest at the so he's like anytime we can work in food working in for my character so when he's like let me get if you know the crab cakes if you get your hands on something let me get the crab cakes you know i love it because all that stuff yeah it's very funny that he was conscious of his breakfast is like the exact breakfast i want to eat i'm gonna choose not to eat with you sit over here recharge my batteries he pours syrup over the whole thing the whole thing that's a move that i that's a lifestyle i never knew yeah dude i've done that like you know you get up at whatever a marriott in davenport you're just like all right breakfast

fine and then you just say everything's getting syrup dude nothing safe marriott of davenport you're just like all right breakfast fine and then you just say everything's getting served dude nothing safe marriott of davenport and uh what was the poop marriott i don't know the name i already lost it no hold on hold on let's remember it don't you look at the comment okay poofy poofy del vecchio it was besto itfy Vesta. No, it was Vesto. It was like Pesto Pasta. It was a pun. Poofy Vesta. Vesto Primavera. No.

Poofy Vest. Poofy something Vest. Poofy Vestini? Poofy Vestamino? Poofy Vest. No. These are all dope. This is like people DM and they'll be like, you remember this? And I'm like, no.

Yeah. That's the thing. People are like, oh man man remember when you said that one thing i'm like i looked i cheated i looked but yeah poofy manifesto and davenport marriott dude you could if you look if you wanted to fucking if you wanted to do business in new york in the 1920s you had to deal with either poofy manifesto or marietta davenport and if sometimes both if you wanted to get into like barges and shipping or you could deal with the bottom of the hudson if you didn't want to deal with either one of them it'd show you the bottom of the hudson real quick poofy manifesto dude the wedding crash was painting that's a great pick sean hey sean

that's a great pick dude hey thanks ian now if you'll excuse me before we move on to david i'm just going to use a little bit of lotion here i hate it i hate this is the only way it could get worse oh all right rub it on your body i've never been so disgusted by something I do daily. Earlier I wasn't feeling supple and now I am. Sure. Put your body on the microphone. Ew. I think that'd be the best thing to say to somebody like in the paint where you're just like, oh, your body feels fun. You're like really trying to box someone out.

Oh, more body, more body more body more contact oh fun body uh david time for your fourth and your final picks i have no lotion uh my fourth pick i'm taking the neuralyzer from men in black oh you know the best thing about this pick is people would think it was first a vibrator and then yeah a weed vaporizer and honestly it could be both yeah you could use it for either yeah yeah yeah one probably before the other. Yeah. That's up to you. Maxine woke up. Boy, I'll tell you.

Is she screaming right now? She is. She's hollering. Wailing. You can go get her. Wailing Jennings out there. Now I got... There's a team in there. We got some childcare for this.

There's a team. Yeah. The rat came back, dude. He didn't actually die. The rat came back to finish what he started. I emailed him. I was like, listen, you fucking deadbeat. I'm taking care of all the bills.

The rat's in there cooking bacon naked in Sean's kitchen. Yeah, just like Ving Rat Rames. Big rat butt hanging out. Big rat butt. Get your tail out of my seat. That's my seat. I'm sorry, Sean. That's my seat now.

Where would you keep the neuralyzer? That's what the hard thing I'm thinking about. Because it's like, you can't just have it on. If you leave it on your kitchen table or your coffee table, then it is going to seem like a vibrator. Yeah. You have to put it somewhere. Maybe on a bookshelf or something

like that was cool yeah like leaning up to the side that people are like is that i'm like yeah yeah jade effect fedexed it to me we had an entanglement don't tell will what's the deal with jayden what is what's going on over there is that a cop i don't know man i don't know i don't know i think they're sexual i think that they just are sexual wait wait i mean i don't think people get it sean are they sexual are they sexual yeah there you go are they everything you need? They better rock your body right. Everybody.

See, it sounds so stupid when I sing it the right way. It's got to everybody now. Yeah. Oh, I forgot that. People are saying open relation with those two. Good for them. I'm saying, I bet you if you ask Will or Jada, if they want to throuple,

they don't give you a hard no right out of the gate they're like well maybe present your case you know it's all right it's none of my business all right all right yeah i have no i couldn't do it man it's not i don't have it in me but some people do and that's fine i have no idea i i'm out of my element there i don't know what they're fucking doing i would not be able to have sex with will he had sex so much he barfed when he thought about coming or barfed when he came come he came barf something happened or he barfed come what he didn't know he didn't he came barf he got like ill at the thought of hooking up with other people again anymore i think it was something like that. I don't think he barfed up jizz.

I don't like hooking up anymore. Why? Well, last time, I puked up a bunch of jizz. I think his wires got crossed just inside. His brain got confused. Yeah, the A-wire got hooked up to this. Yeah. Yeah. Two positives. He h he worked up dorks pork dude so oh something happened that is so gross you know when like you think it's a light switch but it turns on the garbage disposal

how's your cousin jake doing i mean he's good he's still got that cum barfing thing though yeah it's the doctors don't know what to make of it yeah you can't really go anywhere yeah yeah you know it bothers people oh he ruined my kid's birthday i was like i can't have you doing this at chucky cheese i don't care if you're allergic to the pizza like i feel i do feel for him but there's you know what i mean like at some point charles entertainment cheese yeah that's his name yeah to solomon georgia uh the neuralyzer from men and black and your final pick dave boring my final pick is going to be me sydney dean's uh bike messenger cap from white men can't jump oh yeah yeah there you go yeah

that's fantastic when i wear it sometimes when nobody was around yeah just to like write jokes and stuff yeah you have people are around no i wouldn't want I can't have people come over to my house and I'm just wearing it. What's up? My bill. I try to pull it off casually. I don't know.

You guys want some tea? You're like... That is such a fun move when you don't tell your friends you're getting a new piece of clothing that is not you and then you just wear it sometime you know and then it's like new uh new hats you're like yeah well i mean kind of sam talent wears stuff like that you could wear it i am not dressing like sam talent all right that's better yeah sam i don't know how sam does it but he does it he does he he looks amazing it is really he it really only comes out of his own

brain yeah that style wrestling shoes and then some very tight shorts yeah sam why do you wear those shoes like dude they're so light that's what he said yeah they're wrestling shoes which is like i know what Light for what? What are you doing? I know. You just want to feel like you're barefoot at a scummy bar? Cat hurdler? What are you doing?

He looks good, though, man. There's something about it. His vibe. Oh, he looks amazing. I'd like to see you with bike shorts under regular shorts david under oh like compression shorts like a bike yeah like compression shorts under a slightly higher short i think that would look good on you i don't i don't i guess i don't see the point maybe not maybe not maybe i'm getting over my i never understood what that is that just for keeping your stuff in i never understood the point of that well it's supposed to be like anti-chafing and keeping everything where it's supposed to be.

Anti-chafing, but also maybe it just looks cool, man. Like compression, all the NBA current compression and everything kind of looks cool. Like when you see somebody where they have every compression sleeves and legs. We go now to our NBA analysis. We go now live to Sean Jordanordan for our nba analysis we're two hour we're two and a quarter hours into all fantasy everything uh sean jordan your analysis yeah it looks dank man all right perfect uh sean jordan now your fifth pick dude jaws the shark yeah yeah i want jaws in the backyard

all right yeah i've been thinking about i've been thinking about it the whole time i've been thinking about stepping up to it yeah i just want jaws in the backyard just huge in the back just acts could play in it yeah just existing i think they have different jaws too is there a bunch of different can i get a pool with it can i get like a pool of water with it? Like you're touring Universal Studios? Kind of. Will it jump out of the pool sometimes? No, I don't need it active. I don't need it active.

That's not part of the deal. But it's just like lurking in the pool. It's like out. It's like out in the pool all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Not a pool to swim in. This is a pool just so.

Why wouldn't you swim in it? Just so we're not seeing the robot undercarriage of jaws like you know i don't think they gave him a tail even oh really i've never seen jaws all the way i'm gonna google it oh well i don't think anybody has my friend because i think it's only a halfway shark you know i'm talking about ain't no such thing as halfway sharks dude so i just want what is of Jaws in a pool. I want the bottom half of it to be in a pool so it's not like, you know,

so the mystery still lives. I think it did have a tail. Did they make a full Jaws? I just thought they made like most of a shark. Because you don't really ever see the whole thing, do you? I don't know. It's big. This is the biggest one we've taken i think

this is a really big so but you know what's nice about it this pic comes with something extra which is a long conversation with laura i mean they after the painting it's gonna be a tough sell listen i know i took over the kitchen i got some how do you feel about the backyard? Or our bedroom? You have a big backyard, though. Yeah, you do have a big backyard. Yeah, I got a big old butt, dude.

Me and Brenda. What? Backyard is a slang term for a butt. Brenda got a big old butt. Yeah, there was a song, Brenda got a big old butt. I know I told you I'd be true, but Brenda got a big old butt. You talking about EU doing the butt? The go-go band from Washington, D.C.? Talking about LL Cool J, I believe.

Right? Isn't he, Brenda, got a big old butt? You mean Brenda got a big old butt. Stacey got a big old butt. Oh, yeah. Doing the butt. I'm talking about a different one. No, that's not what I'm talking about.

Anyway, Jaws in the backyard. That's what I want. Great pick. The chat agrees that it's a great pick it's time for my final pick the final pick I'm on the private chat I was wondering why I didn't see anything it's just like why are you talking about Taco Bell and pancakes

final pick of the draft I'm going to take the box from seven oh nice oh that's pretty solid Sean's about to puke Oh, that's pretty solid. Sean's about to puke jizz. That's good.

That was the noise he made. Oh! Get out of the way! It's mostly so we can have fun. Get out of the way! Oh, God, get out of the way. Oh, God, get out of the way. What was in there? A lot of things.

I just barfed up a lot of things. That is a good, solid pick. And I did not. That was nowhere on my list. Get out of the way! Oh, yeah, that's a good question from the chat. Do you also want the contents in the box or just the box itself?

I need a detached Gwyneth Paltrow head. You want G-Pal's head in there? Yeah, I need that. But I would take it out in there? yeah I need that but I would take it out it needs to be removable so I would like take it out and then I would like put a pie in there and I would bring it over to Sean's for like when he's having a barbecue he's grilling in the back and then we could do the

what's in the box oh god what's in the box so I could open it and I'd be like apple pie like that kind of you know what I mean it'd be fun it'd be a fun game for us to play David's having a barbecue I'm over at his house he says what's in the box i open it up that time it's gwyneth paltrow's head we're playful put it in the air fry yeah yeah yeah uh so yeah i broke in the air fry the other day by the way real dank yeah you showed me the picture people love that and then we made chickpeas today.

We made chickpeas. Nice. I just switched back to the chat. It's not Rare Essence that does the butt. It's EU. I mean, the one that I'm talking about. I was on that private chat for so long. I was like, I guess nobody has anything to say.

So I'm taking the motherfucking box from the movie Seven. And that is the final pick of the draft. Except, Marissa, do you have a pick? I do. Let's roll the clip. Oh, jeez. Okay. I love these graphics so much. That was the clip. Oh, jeez! Okay! I love these graphics so much.

That's the most fun I've had in probably a decade. I really enjoyed that. That was great. So this draft got me really excited because I do love props in general. I own many different props from video games especially, and so my first idea was if it was going to be a prop itself and not contain any sort of magical powers from a movie my first idea is a

sword i want a sword because that at least it could be more practical and i could use it to defend my home and also just have fun swinging around you have a sword right i do well i had a sword and then i gave it away but now i'm think i've been thinking about buying a new sword actually so i am sword shopping uh if anyone has any good sort of want a new one yeah i do want a new one the problem is is that i want a new sword in los angeles yeah but i don't think i could bring the sword back to toronto with me i don't know about international sword law. No, exactly. You gotta like, that's, that is,

you gotta get embassies involved. Well, which sword? But I am looking to get a sword. So the sword I'm going to pick is from Lord of the Rings. It is Aragorn's sword. It's called the Andoril. I might be pronouncing that wrong,

but yeah, I just want a steel sword in my apartment that I could use to ward off any intruders. To sword off any intruders swore to swore off any intruders a sword off that's a great broke into your crib and you just had a broadsword and you were like take what try to take what you want they just back up what's up you tell me what's up god you're here thank god you're here man i had a rough day thank god you're here dude the solution just walked in bro i've been a problem looking for a solution all day dude and look who look who fucking shows up look at the idiot that broke into my club bring it bring it bro and just a hot tip hot tip if you've if you've never held like a replica sword before, like a steel sword, would really recommend.

Nothing is a bigger confidence boost than holding a sword in your arm. Like it is magic what just like a replica sword can do. Would really recommend everyone buy a sword. Don't, however, if you're on a first date, don't do it in the car. Don't. Because if your date walks by and sees you holding a sword. What's up? i'm in yeah that's me the guy with the sword in the car like i said swords bro uh all right well fantastic that

that is our final pick now obviously marissa would win the draft we know that we know that but of the three of us just to recap the three of us, David, you went first. You took the catapult from Richie Rich, the brass balls from Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, Radio Raheem's love and hate rings, the neuralyzer from Men in Black, and Sidney Dean's bike messenger cap from White Men Can't Jump. Sean, you went second. You took the rug from the Big Lebowski. Wilson from Castaway. Tom Cruise's Top Gun sunglasses. The Wedding Crashers Painting and Jaws from

Jaws I went last and I took the So What Painting from Goodfellas, the Shaving Cream Can from Jurassic Park the Sex Panther Cologne from Anchorman, the Watch that was right up Christopher Watkins' Keystone Pulp Fiction and the What's in the Box from Seven

that was the final pick are we gonna say what we left on the board uh malloy i gotta say that malloy hit me with a good one he texted i couldn't do it in good conscience but he said uh dirk digler's fake penis for boogie nights oh the fake hog where would you ask laura to that? I think Sean would keep it. That's so funny. I used to own a fake penis for a while that was used on the set of Lonely and Horny, which was Jake and Amir's web series for Vimeo. Oh, yeah. They had a fake penis that I think Amir used it in a scene. And then I was like, this is just a funny prop to keep.

So I had it in my house for a while. And then my roommate's parents were coming over one day and he's like, could you please put this stick away? Like, I don't want my parents to see the stick in the apartment. That's fair. So I had to shove it in my closet. And then it like. Tale as old as time. It heated up and it stuck to my wall.

And I like couldn't remove the dick from my wall. It was just like melted onto the wall. Wait, like it was like stuck out or like, like does that make sense? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, was it like a dick coming out of the wall? No, it was like slapped against the wall. It was very, it was a very sticky dick

and it just like adhesive to the wall. And like, I tried taking it off and I can only take it off in chunks. It was disgusting. Oh no, that is bad. Was there like a dick print once you finally got it off? Oh, yeah, there still is. What?

There's still a dick print, Sean. You get it. I'll tell you. You better think, Peter. Looks like someone's firmly in the lead on who won this draft. You called your shot. I did call my shot. This is fun what is

just everything everything talking to you i'd like to be hanging out with you in person but this is the next best thing well i don't want to get coveted oh no i'm done yeah i'm out of it i'm out of it sean has 314 votes dav David has 46. Ian has 77. Is this a private chat? What is that chat? That's in the private chat. Oh, that's my go-to chat. It's a long P, dude. Oh, man.

P long say Knowles over here. Wow. Sean wins by a landslide. What? Landsliddle. Landsliddle. Wow. Landsliddle.

Damn. Sean, 314 votes. David, 46 votes. Ian, 77 votes. So far. That was a couple of minutes ago. How many people are watching this? I thought it was like 40.

Probably down to about 15 people, I think. Do people listen to this? Oh, we only lost a few. We're still above 1,000. Well above 1,000. Damn. All right. Yeah.

All right. Well, above 1,000. Well above 1,000. All right. Yeah, all right. Well, around 1,300. Gosh, that's great. Sean, so inconclusive, the results. Inconclusive, really hard to say. Really hard to say which way this one went. Hard to say which one this way. So I think a three-way tie.

Yeah, we'll call it that. We'll call it a three-way tie. Seanordan wins the first hop in all fantasy everything the movie draft all fantasy everything round of applause the graphics yeah is there a graphic for that i don't know i really i was really open uh remember we're going to we're going when we end the podcast when we end the podcast portion of this when david says those magic words he's going to say in a minute, please stay on because we're going to be doing a live Q&A for you for 15 to 20 minutes, which is available only here on Hopin. Only for you, the Hopin. So if you are listening to the audio feed, make sure to tune in to the next Hopin show that we do if you want to see the Q&A.

That's right, because we're going to be doing a few of these. This is not the only one. We're going to be working with Hopin to do several more of these. I think at least four more. At least three or four more. Whatever the number is, we're going to do a bunch of these. It's going to be really fun. So if you enjoyed it, thank

you for joining us. And if you didn't enjoy it you're hitler i'll kill you yeah man no i enjoyed it perfect uh gosh what else what oh people were asking no star wars no indiana jones i get that i'm not have a whip, and I can't take that hat, because if I have that hat, I'm going to try to wear that hat. Well, the lightsaber, that's what I was talking about. If it's from the movie working in that universe, then of course a lightsaber, but if not, you just kind of have a little...

Got a stick. Yeah. I mean, it's dope, but like, you know. There's a lot of stuff from star wars i'd want i had boba fett's helmet on my list uh like a lightsaber would be cool but it doesn't it's not the coolest coolest part of it dude uh some other stuff i had on my list the idol from raiders of the lost ark i almost took that the jumanji game jumanji i had the jumanji game too that'd be awesome i also i also had the jeep from jurassic park or the

ford explorer oh that'd be amazing the uh the amber on the end of the cane with a bug in it dude Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah hoverboard from Back to the Future 2 The talk boy effects Yeah from home. Oh, yeah, Marissa will be right back. Marissa's gonna go. She's had a sword post-mated Cut the rest of that dick off her wall and then back back. Marissa's gonna go. She just had a sword postmated. You're gonna cut the rest of that dick off her wall. We're back. So stay here for the, this is the place for the

Q&A. Stay on. Nothing's gonna happen except we're gonna just hit stop on a recorder. But in the meantime, we want to hear what your picks are. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Now that's an email website. Hit us us up there shout out to everyone on the afe patreon thank you so much for holding us down we love you you let us do what we do you keep us at ermine and pearls we fucking love you we really do shout

out to everyone on the afe sheslackity shout out to a everyone on the afe subreddit shout out to saint sue carmel currently at work shout out to hot uh shout out toreddit. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel currently at work. Shout out to hot, uh, shout out to Frankie ocean, shot the Haji beats, shot the Sid, the dude,

and more important than all that. Tune in again next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy. Everything. Chicago. That was a hate gun podcast.