All Fantasy Everything - Movie Quotes (w/ Sean Jordan, Chris Charpentier, and Zak Toscani)

Episode Date: January 11, 2018

AFE means never having to say you're sorry. Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Sean Jordan, Chris Charpentier and Zak Toscani to draft movie quotes. This episode can make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. Hasta la podcast, baby. ...and then, some more quotes, also. Get into it! Sorry we missed a week! David is still in Colorado. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that hasn't recorded an episode in like a month. And due to holiday magic, where it logged a couple episodes, put them on ice, and then released them every week as though we had recorded them this week. But that wasn't the case. We haven't recorded the podcast in a week. Man, it shows too. That's the one. That's the podcast. That's the podcast. Yeah. That's the one it is today. They used to be when we, when, and I'll get back into the flow, but those things used to be so. That was fine. The one time that you even entertained the idea of having David and I do it, I was like, well, who's going to do that? Who's going to do the podcast that...

Oh, yeah. When I was suffering from a gout break and I was like, you guys do it. I also feel bad because the last time I was so stoned that I interrupted you. No. Yeah. And I didn't really even think about it until you said that. You jumped right in. The voice here is Zach Disconi.

When did you start smoking weed? It's a new thing. Yeah, well, it's a new year, new me. There it is. I fucking smokehouse that shit. Why didn't you get in Doug with High last night? At the Troubadour. At the Troubadour.

It's an atmosphere song. That's why I wanted to go there. Is that why you wanted to go there? Drunk at the Troubadour. Or how does it go? Drunk at the Troubadour making out with a model or? Drunk at the Troubadour, making out with a model or something like that. Yeah. That's not what was happening last night.

No, you guys were- Stoned at the Troubadour, sharing Trader Joe brand Swedish fish with Ron Funches. Yeah. Portland ran that stage last night. Portland was in the building. Portland was in the building. We in the building. Yeah, so that's what happened.

It was tight. That's what podcast it is. I'll get you. Those are- that's what happened. It was tight. That's my podcast. It is. Okay. Those are hectic week. It's like the fact that we're recording at all. It's just a hectic, like love you. Fucking month, dude. Yeah.

But I mean, yeah, you're yes. I understand. It's very busy. He's a very busy man. It's busy time. It's busy time. Uh, the, the voice of the voice you hear to my left, Sean Jordan. I'm on the left. Sean S.

Jordan on Twitter. Uh huh. Sean Cougar, melon voice of the voice you hear to my left, Sean Jordan. I'm on the left. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Uh huh. Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on the Instagram. That's all. That's my boss at work today. He got a chuckle. Sean Cougar. He tried to give me a nickname.

Whenever somebody tries to get like, Hey, Sean, you know, Sean Westside Jordan and no one's ever done that. But I'm just like, nah, it's actually Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan. And they're like, ha ha. That's better. That's a goddamn nickname. You get a raise. They don't know.

You're like the guy who's like, there's a pickup basketball game at the park, but you're on the swing set pushing a kid. And they're like, white bread, come over here. And you're like, all right, I guess I'll go play. But they don't know that you're fucking Rex Chapman. Yeah, yeah. They don't know that you have this long history of nicknames. They're going to try to dunk on you.

You're a man who has long history of nicknames. They're going to try to dunk on you. No. You're a man who has lived among the nicknames. And every one, I'm going to slam dunk on them and then I'll be like Widowmaker. Yeah. I'm going to slam dunk

on them again. I'm like Hangtime. Hangtime. What are your nicknames? Heatwave. Heatwave. The last time I played basketball, my nickname

was Volleyball. Volleyball? I don't think that was a good thing. That's not a good nickname for basketball. Wait, that's from something. Well, I can't remember, so it's not going to be interesting, but trust. John, trust. It's from something.

I mean, I've talked about it before, just how traumatizing it was. Getting called Volleyball? Maybe that's what it was. Yeah, where I was like, yeah, you gave me, my nickname was the dick was a sport I wasn't playing. That sucks. That's a bad time usually. Why did you start to say my nickname was the dick and then you switched it to a sport I wasn't playing.

You go, my nickname was the dick, a sport I didn't even play. If they called you like hockey, hockey, hockey Zach, that'd be interesting. Yeah. Hockey would be a better nickname. Yeah. Volleyball. Well, hockey, I'd think you got mad at people. Volleyball, I'd be interesting. Yeah. Hockey would be a better nickname. Yeah. Volleyball. Well, hockey, I think you got mad at people. Volleyball, I'm just like.

Yeah. Mike, was I just batting balls? I don't remember rejecting anything. You sacrificed your body a lot in the dirt. I played volleyball, so maybe they just saw that. Were you wearing the exact outfit that Iceman and fucking Maverick wore in the movie Top Gun, the motion picture Top Gun? It was an indoor.

Oh, small mall like Outdoor. Yeah. Just reminded me of, well, all right. Oh, yeah. Joining Sean and I, as it is not a two-person podcast and you've already heard

these other voices, Chris Charpentier. Hello. Charpentier. That's very correct. It's another way to, if you want to pronounce it that way. That's more correct. Charpentier. Charpentier. Hello. Charpentier. That's very correct. It's another way to, if you want to pronounce it that way. That's more correct.

Charpentier. Charpentier. In the house at Charpy Comedy. Yes. Across platforms. Across platforms. Twitter. Instagram.

J-Date. Boom. Postmates. What's that? Oh, yeah, dude. You're a Fleet Team member? Fleet Team, bro? Domino.

Yep. Hall of Fame mustache. Hall of Fame mustache. Hall of Fame had? Oh, yeah, dude. You're a Fleet team member? Fleet team, bro? Domino. Yep. Hall of Fame mustache. Hall of Fame mustache. Hall of Fame had a hair, I would say. The mustache is in the rafters now. Young Beach God, champion of the Band Names podcast, and young, we go to the Beach God. Yeah, seriously. Together.

Thank you. Mr. Throws a Ball or Two. God, I can't wait until summertime again. I can't either. It's just like, we don't have to wait long because it's LA. It's like in a month. I'm saying Saturday is going to be like 80. Is it?

Yeah. Ooh. Fuck. Sounds pretty good. Yeah. Let's play catch between Eagle Rock and Glendale. I spent a good portion of my day today throwing little oranges into a trash can, or trying, from a really far distance.

You were at work today. That was where you were doing at work? I mean, and working. Those little cuties? Those little cutie ones? Yeah. Well, they were off a tree and they were all over the place. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah. Nice. So I was just trying to throw them into this trash can from way too far, and I made a ton into my person's neck door, like into their backyard. A ton of them into that backyard, and none into the trash can. Oh, I forgot to ask, do either of you have anything coming up? This will drop tomorrow. Oh, I forgot to ask, do either of you have anything coming up? This will drop tomorrow. Oh, you first, John.

I'm going to go to Sioux Falls, South Dakota with Kyle Kinney in March 4th. Screw Falls! And then we're going to Minneapolis and Milwaukee after that, but that's in March. Miliwake. I just got excited about it. Algonquin for the good land. Algonquin. You got to stop.

I keep using quotes! Oh, shit! Oh, no! Oh, no, Oh, no. He's crossing one off. You shouldn't have said Milwaukee. You knew it was going to happen. I didn't even think about it.

You knew it was going to happen. That was a set up spike, if I could use the terminology. Oh, volleyball gets it. That's why. Yeah, volleyball gets it. Broke that spike, dude. Broke my goddamn nose with that spike. And your heart.

Oh, man. We have fun. We have a good time. That is a good quote. Was that going to be one of your top five, do you think? It was damn close. It was going to see how it shook out. Yeah.

I hadn't thought about it, but yeah, if someone said that, I'd be like. Also, I did a Friday quote earlier, so I'll stop. Sorry. I'll stop. Well, it's hard not to. It's hard not to it's hard not to it's you know I feel like we just keep going

with our natural flow except Zach you don't get to do any quotes at all right I just have to do screams that are indeterminate from what movie that's from he just does it randomly

I'll ask Zach pretty much anything like hey man I'm gonna run Taco Bell you wanna go and he goes I mean or it could be something scary

like you wanna go skydiving? Either one. Yeah. Yeah. Both can be scary. Dependable. I get a lot. That's what happens inside all the time.

So I'm just letting it out. That's what volleyball is about. Form, muscle memory, consistency. He knows, dude. Chris,

Chris. Yes. You nailed it. That is my name. You have anything coming up? I do. Well, this is, comes out tomorrow, you said? name. You have everything coming up. I do. Well, this comes out tomorrow, you said? Yeah.

I'm helping produce a show on Sunday called Arguments and Grievances. It's at Barbaloo, bitch. Eight o'clock. It's the best show in the world. I got my day off work. I'll be there. You should go. It's really the best.

It's in those angles. Yeah. Arguments and Grievances. It's a long time running show. It's in Chicago and Denver and New York and now LA and it's awesome

fucking hit that up come to the goddamn show it's free fucking hit that up hell yeah

uh Zach Toscani yes sir at Zach Toscani yes sir on uh Twitter with a K Zach with a K

yeah Zach Toscani with a T with a C yeah with a peace sign actually yeah

Toscani with a peace sign Tuscany with a C. With a peace sign, actually. Tuscany with a peace sign. Tuscany with a cross. Yin yang. Dude, I saw it. Stussy S. Ah, the Stussy S. I swear to God, that was fun. The penny symbol.

The at symbol. Shit, are there any Ns? If you saw any notebook that I had in middle school, my name started with the Stussy symbol. You would have thought that was my birth name. The N has one of the Spanish squigglies. And then the I is a drawing of a volleyball player bumping a volleyball up and over. Just a bump. Yeah, just a bump.

You're setting up. Yeah. Because you're a team player. The dot on the I is the volleyball. Yeah. Well. Yeah, we all get it. Come on. I mean, I don't want to. The dot on the I is the volleyball. Yeah. Well. Yeah. We all get it.

Come on. I mean, I don't want to know. Come on. I didn't get it. Use your brain. Nominate for an Emmy. I fucking get it, bro. I'm sorry, dude.

Nominate for an Emmy, comma, writing for the Grammys, period. And the writer on the corner. Yeah, they're coming over. The writer on the corner. Fucking leger girl. Liger girl. Laker girl. We have to tell that story because if we're going to introduce that into the lexicon. I don't remember the story.

You just started saying it. It's not even a story. The in arena announcer for the Los Angeles Lakers. Because I attend basketball games on occasion. You go. Especially when the Trailblazers are in town. And the guy's got like a totally normal in arena voice. He's like, if the Lakers score more than 100 points, everybody gets free Jack in the Box, right?

And that's how he talks. Except when he announces the Lakers cheerleading team, the Laker girls. As you would say. The Laker girls is how normal people would say, hey, who's on court right now? Oh, that's the Laker girls. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, youraker girls ladies gentlemen you're laker girls except the way this guy does it every single fucking time is uh laker girl and he's got one of those soft lists it's kind of like i have that's

always like oh laker girls it's so creepy listen to it youtube it ian found a clip it's so creepy listen to it YouTube it Ian found a clip it's just like Laker girl Laker girl yeah Laker girl Laker girl and if you have like leak pass you can hear all of that

yes it sounds like someone walking in on you changing that's like that's the tone of what that sounds like like if somebody

was hiding under like a paper with two eyes poked in it or something are you watching me change it you'd be like

Laker girl Laker girls. Laker girls. It's horrifying. It is horrifying. Laker girls. Oh, God. That guy needs to stop. I wonder if that's been in a movie ever.

As soon as we get David the Cuddy Sark sponsorship, our next social justice movement is going to be getting the Laker girls guy to stop saying it like that. When is he going to fucking get that, by the way? He's got 350 retweets. I guarantee nothing they've ever tweeted has 350 retweets. No. No. No. No.

So I'm just saying, Cuddy Sark and loyal AFV listeners, make sure you keep that movement going. Zach, two things. Sure. Do you have anything to promote? No, not necessarily. Just world peace. Just me.

Second. Yeah. How were the shows in Cincinnati? Shows in Cincinnati were fucking awesome. We haven't convened in here in a month. Yeah. We have a lot to talk about. Yeah.

There was two shows. The space was like between 50, 60 people and I got like 130 people out. Ooh. Ooh. So it was fucking awesome. And like, I got to see a lot of people that I like friends that I hadn't seen in like eight, nine years that came out specifically for that.

And to see me. And did you get to see any of those enemies that you want to put in that Chick-fil-A? No, no enemies, no enemies. Good. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of family came to one show and that was really weird. I mean, like I, it's just like strange when you know, like there's 30 family members in this room and I can see them. Yeah. When Ian's just like strange when you know like there's 30 family members in this room and i can see them family goes yeah yeah they come to someone else's

but when it's like all under their cups it's great like this is gonna change the dynamic of next christmas i feel like oh yeah that happened yeah damn a lot of this like don't put this in your act zach yeah well no i got a lot of like if you want to use this and i was just like this is the worst yeah yeah absolutely the worst. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. The worst. It's always extended family too. Yes.

Never. It's never the core. It's always that. Like. Yeah. The new uncle. Yep. Totally.

Yeah. Just married in. Yeah. And I'm like, just, it's a, you know what? You simmer into the family. I'm not going to put this in my act and do one more of those buttons up. It's weird. What is that? Did you start your shirt before you came out? Yeah, you're in your

40s. Oh, you brought taco meat to Christmas? Yeah. Also, quit saying Laker Girl. It's creepy. I can hear you just being like, Laker Girl. Alright, Sharpie, do it once. Laker Girl. I think the key is to not open your mouth. Zach, I haven't heard it from you yet. Laker Girl. Not quite creepy enough. Yeah, yeah. Laker girls. I think the key is to not open your mouth. Zach, I haven't heard it from you yet. Laker girls.

Not quite creepy enough. Yeah, yeah. Laker girls. That's the creepiest. Right now, in order of creepiness, I go Sean, Chris, me, you. Yeah. Yeah. Laker girls.

That might be how we determine the order of the draft today. We might spark creepy. In 2018, we're not doing Rock, Paper, Scissors anymore. Oh, my God. It's Laker girls. Who can say Laker girls are rock, paper, scissors anymore. Oh my God. It's Laker girls. Who can say Laker girls are the creepiest? I can't. Hold on.

Laker girls. That was too much. That was too much. That was awesome. Marissa screamed and ran out of the room. Marissa moved back to Toronto. She actually went further north. She's in an unknown part of the province.

She works on a maple tree farm. Off mic, super producer Marissa, she said that it was negative 32 Celsius in the one Toronto. That sucks. Oh my God. No wind chill? With a wind chill. With a wind chill. What's that in Fahrenheit?

Minus 25. Woo! Oh, that's still pretty cold. That's really cold. That's the type of temperature where I feel like if you piss, does it just freeze instantly? Sure. You know? If you were my Uncle Mark and I was five, you told me that.

Because I believed it for a long time. So scientifically inconclusive. Yeah, yeah. But- He also had a Kangol hat on when you said it. Backwards? Forwards? Backwards?

Backwards. Oh, wow. People wearing forwards? Never mind. That adds some credibility. I didn't even know they had a bill or a front. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just back all the way around. Just see the back. The front doesn't have the logo. It's like one of those king-like things. Yeah. We would have the one Gia Silent, the one David Borey, the one cool guy jokes 87 in the house today, but he just keeps putting his return date off. I think he's in a Turkish prison camp.

I think he tried to smuggle some hash across the Elizabeth border. Yeah. And they sent him to Turkey. Our boy is supposed to be back a week ago. A week ago. Now he doesn't get back till Tuesday. Really? Wow.

I just texted him today. Hey, when you get back? Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Now what's interesting is I got an email that there's international waters parties. Oh, God.

I would. So I wonder if there's some kind of. I'd have to go to the lake. That's where it is. Is it coincidence that he's gone and these parties are being thrown? I can't. I mean, it can't be related. No.

No. Nothing that's ever happened to David has been related to anything else. I'm sure he just forgot his ID or something. No. Nothing that's ever happened to David has been related to anything else. I'm sure he just forgot his ID or something. Yeah. Should we wait to talk about the Portland shows until David is with us? Oh yeah, he was, I mean well we do have to say they were it was fucking rad.

They were so amazing. We can wait till he gets, I mean that feeling ain't going away. Right, right, that's true. We'll wait to fully recap them until David's here, but. My Portland shows ain't going away. Right, right. That's true. We'll wait to fully recap them until David's here. My Portland shows were fantastic. Oh, yeah. You were. Not mine.

They were Shane's. Yeah, they were Shane Torres'. Shout out to Shane Torres'. I was just a small part. But those AFE fans showed up in hordes, my friend. Sent sampler flatters to the green room. Sampler flatters in the green room. They showed up in hordes with horde.

This, they look like the barbarian hordes at the beginning of Gladiator. Wearing their core horde. Core horde. with hort. This, they look like the barbarian hordes at the beginning of Gladiator wearing their corhort. Carhort. Carhort. You got a lot of carhort. That was the leader of the gang was the corhort.

There was some, there was some gentleman I met that bought a sampler platter for themselves, bought one for the green room and then after the show went to fire on the mountain and got a sampler platter there.

Whoa! They hit for the cycle. Hall of Fame. Does all get eaten? Oh, they all got, oh yeah, for sure. By the way, they both sample of platypher. Whoa! They hit for the cycle. Hall of Fame. Does all get eaten? Oh, they all got... Oh, yeah, for sure. By the way, they both came

when I was on stage. Coincidentally, oddly. Were they empty by the time you got off stage? They were nothing but bits. Picked through. Yeah. I love the graveyard.

I'm guessing Shane left a lot of carrots and a lot of celery. I was just going to say the veggies were left. So they had a weird one. They had like fried pickle. That's not weird. Yeah, what are you talking about? That sounds great. one they had like fried pickle that's not weird

well i've never that's not usually like if you go to applebee's right that's not on the sample platter you go to fuego and la montaña that's true fire is on the mountain yeah uh fire on the mountain by the way yeah boneless buffalo wings. Okay. And I can't remember what else. Oh, mozzarella sticks, of course. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I think that's what it was. All right.

Yeah. It's weird. You mentioned four different foods. It's crazy that someone would try to pick that as one food. Even as long ago as it was, it's still crazy that someone thought that that was one food to pick. And also, they want to find out later that night different foods. And still, somebody thought that they could pick

this ambler platter. That's like saying the Ian Carmel original joke that my favorite sport is the Olympics. That's kind of like saying that. Which was said on Helium Sage through Shane's mouth. We might have said it. Now, did he say the joke and then go, Ian actually said

that first. Good for Ian. You guys probably all went to the show. He didn't say that? No. He didn't mention that. That's crazy. So now I'm not only writing for the Grammys, I'm writing for the Shane Torres and stand-up comedy set in Portland, Oregon. I'm moving up.

Climbing. You're holding on to the hair of Rapunzel, as they say. Shane, check your mail. There's a new voice. Shane Punzel. Shane Punzel Torres. That's a fun one. Shumple Stiltzkin So he did great

But here's something that he did So he was selling his albums But they didn't They just had posters and download codes And he was selling them for 10 bucks And people were offering him the money And he just wouldn't take it He just kept giving it out free I'm like take money shane because he's riding high on that hometown horse

daddy fat stacks over here you don't need people want to buy stuff from you like that's fine i know but when you're home he probably had a couple of sips at that point no on that adrenaline from crushing for 50 minutes yeah you're home you know you're gonna go get more drunk you're giving that shit away yeah what should have happened this is on you zach you should have been out there merch guy like no no no no no i know he said it's for free yeah you have to talk like a jew i know he said it's for free it's ten dollars sweetheart ten dollars american it's ten dollars or you got to hold it for free now give it back you do a really good jewish guy thank you yeah I'm not Jewish I am yeah

100% bar mitzvahed and everything it's crazy wow yeah I had no idea you'd know that you spent two minutes

with the guy now I have the first person who walked up to buy his album had a credit card and they're like do you take cards

and he just goes no do you take cards do you take hort that's what he asked them you got hort hort pick your books up hort little That's what he asked them. You got hort. Hort. Pick your books up.

Hort. Little heart. Pick your books up, little heart. Meet me in my mom's minivan. You're going to be part of the crew. You're going to be a crip. Whoa. There's more.

There's more to that quote. And it's funny we should mention quotes because today, we are gathered here today in the Head Gum Studio in beautiful downtown Los Angeles. Oh, here we are. To download. Yep. I was going so smooth. To draft our favorite movie quotes.

Yeah. This is going to be a tough one. This is going to be a tough one. It's going to be tricky. This is fun. This is going to be fun. Yeah. Oh, Zach Larson. He's going to be fun.

We're going to leave 7,000 on the board. We're going to leave so many on the board. This is going to be fun to wake up and look at Twitter because I'll be like, ah, yeah. Oh, yeah. We're going to leave so many on the board. This will be fun to wake up and look at Twitter because I'll be like, ah, yeah, we're going to get so many. Oh, yeah. Also, people are going to be coming at us with crazy shit, too. People are going to be like, this quote from the cutscene of Metal Gear Solid.

What? Snake here. I may come up with you. I may come up. What? I may come at you with some crazy shit. You might need to put your hat back on. I might need to. Ever since you came off. In order to get shit. You might need to put your hat back on. I might need to.

Ever since you came off. It's my hair. You've been sore-short. In order to get my shirt off, I had to take my hat off. That's true. And I wasn't wearing pants when I showed up. You had the Quran duct tape to your body. How am I supposed to hide the gold?

All the gold. There's so much gold that's a part of my body now because I watched Golden Circle the other day. Oh, you did? You finally got to watch Kingsman Golden Circle? Kingsman 3. What did you think? It was dank. Super dank.

I love that movie. I love the whole series. The second one? Yeah, dude. I haven't seen the second one yet. I just watched the first one the other night. As they call it, action-packed. I truly celebrate the entire series.

The whole catalog. I love it. A to B. As a crow plus. Real dank. Now, just a reminder for everyone gathering, our listeners,

we'll determine the order of the draft with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. But before we do that, the order of the draft, I'll remind you, it's a serpentine draft. What is that exactly? Oh, great question. Thank you for asking. It means if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round.

Like if we were at a New Year's party at the house and I saw somebody that I wanted to hug and almost cry to on one side of the living room and then immediately on the other side of the living room I saw another person that I wanted to hug and cry on and I ran over there and did that and then just kind of kept doing that for 50 minutes. A gentleman's 50 minutes.

Meanwhile, passing by a beautiful cheese board and some spanakopita. Holy buckets. Did you make it a cheese board? I went to work. That was the best. That was the whole day we got up. Man, you were so fun. I was entertaining.

I was in an entertaining mood. I love my friends. That was great. Then I entertained the idea of drinking about 12 drinks. I saw that like invite on Twitter and I was just like, God damn it. I want to be there. Well, it was like four o'clock in the afternoon and I'm sitting there. I was like, I mean, I'm not going anywhere the rest of the night.

The whole, the cheese plate was done up. So I just start sipping the whiskey on the rocks in the mesh shorts. Didn't even shower yet. And then guests show up and I was like. You didn't have shoes on and we had guests there. I didn't have shoes on the whole day. Oh, really? No. Who was it? I think Marcella kept telling me I had white boy feet

because they were like dirty like a hobbit or something. I just didn't, you know, I didn't have a reason. The best part of that night for me was at 11.59 and about 30 seconds. Everybody's circled around the tv you know everyone's crewed up with the people they came with basically coupled up sitting you know everyone i'm on

one side sitting next to sean ian on the complete other side of the room sharpie come here he gives me the wave come here and i'm just like why now like this is a weird time everybody and then and i just and so i wave back like hell yeah and you go sharpie and two hands both hands come here and i was like that was a two-handed i'm not sure i even remember this i was like you don't it's gotta be about 12 40 right now oh it was like almost midnight it was seconds two and so i was like okay and I ran over and gave you a high five and then went back to my spot so that you could kiss your girlfriend at midnight. And not me. It was the best.

I don't think I had any idea what time it was. I just liked it. Oh, that was so funny. You gave Sharpie a fastball. He shook you off and you're like, no, fastball. I'm throwing up. God bless you for running over and giving me a high five in my drunken state.

It was great. It was fantastic. The hand motion, I could definitely see Ian doing that like, come on, man. Come on. I think we need to have some more house parties. It's fun to put a cheese board together. It's fun to get drunk at the crib. House parties are where it's at.

Yeah, another one coming up. Where it's at. If not January, February. February. Alright, so to determine who won the draft, the three of you will play a rollicking game of Laker Girl. No, rock paper scissors. That's subliminal Laker Girl. Rollicking game of

rock paper scissors. I was so pissed for work today. And now I'm immediately in a better mood. Like a girl. Man, good transition. Right? Yeah. It worked.

And so we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. And paper, paper, scissors. Sean Jordan from Sioux Falls. Get it. Get it right. There's a wall.

There's a wall right behind you. Sioux Falls, South Carolina. South Dakota. South Dakota. South Dakota. You will be determining the order of the draft. How would you like to do this? Oh, that's right.

I don't even... I believe that last time I went... You go. Ian goes first. Whoa. Okay. I'm going second. Yeah.

Sharpie's third Zach you're fourth I like it Ian back to back after that me just a you know in a horseshoe

me you oh Sharpie and then you me Sharpie and Zach and then the Tuscan me you Sharpie and volleyball volleyball yep

I'm a racing Tuscany right here volleyball volleyball oh shit yeah the party was fun it was a volleyball it was a real volleyball it was a real volleyball I'm a racing Tuscany. Ready to go. Volleyball. Volleyball. Oh, shit. Yeah, the party was fun. It was a volleyball. It was a real volleyball.

It was a real volleyball. I was not ready to go first. I didn't think so. So with the first pick, in the movie quotes, all fantasy, everything draft, Ian, George, Carmel, from Beaverton, Oregonregon top of the food chain where champions are born greatest city in the world will be picking i swear i'm not just buying time while i scroll you're perusing your options. All right. All right. Okay. So, all right.

I'm taking a quote. It's a long quote. Sure. From a movie delivered by Alec Baldwin. That was not originally in the play that the movie was based on. Sure, sure. From Glengarry Glen Ross. Oh, man.

I am taking, and not the whole speech, because you can't take the whole speech. You could. I'm taking specifically the chunk, you certainly don't, pal, because the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all of you have got, just one week to regain your job, starting with tonight. Starting with tonight's sit. Oh, have I got your attention now?

Good. Because we're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first place is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? I do. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. Alec Baldwin.

It's fucking icy dude it's so icy just swinging that Baldwin dick all throughout the room that must have been so fun to play he's never been cooler he really hasn't because he's not cool at all no and that was like perfect time for him too

because he was still like young thin Alec Baldwin yeah he was like sort of in a sex scandal, Alec Baldwin. Yeah. But not a rough one. It was just like a leaked VHS or something. Didn't he like cheat on Kim Basinger? Something like that.

Yeah. Did you say Basinger? Basinger? I think I said it twice. Yeah, I was like so confused. The Simpsons did that where there was a Basinger, Basinger, I think, and then I've never known. It's going to be Jordan one of these days. Oh, there it is.

Yeah. Okay. And I'm going to make her extended to Kimberly. I'm going to ask her to extend it to Kimberly. Kimberly. Kimberly Jordan. Kimberly Jordan. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Okay. Coffee is for closers. Oh, yeah. That comes earlier. That movie is just so- Put that coffee down. Yeah.

It's so what? There's like five people in the whole movie? It's amazing. Right? Yeah. It's insane. And it's in three locations yeah a bunch of dudes yeah yeah well yeah based on a david mammoth play yeah

playing gary glen ross and you know that he wrote the uh the coffee is for closers slash your fired speech specifically for the movie it was never in the play right why wouldn't that be in the play i don't know he just thought of it after that's what he should say i can see that though like where you write something and like maybe like a year later you're like oh fuck yeah yeah oh you know what would have been good and he had the chance we got a really like because it's that's all about setting the stakes for like how desperate these dudes are especially like jack lemon's character yeah god he's just what a stressful oh what a stressful life when he's cut when he keeps calling the same people and it's like over the course of the movie

and then they finally he finds out that they like don't have any money or that they like say yes to everybody oh man these leads are bullshit well I have diarrhea and I have it every day who am I that's who the fuck I am I drive a $90,000 BMW

that's who the fuck I am it's fucking boiler room ripped it up trying to take the chain a $90,000 BMW. That's who the fuck I am. It's fucking Boiler Room. I mean, Boiler Room completely snaked it out. Yeah, just trying to take the chain, but the chain was... I like Boiler Room. They even...

Don't they... Oh, never mind. Never mind. They're watching a different movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they totally have a copy of Forcloser's speech type movie.

Yeah, oh yeah, big time. Yeah, where somebody comes in. Fucking Affleck comes in there, throws his keys on the table, does the whole nine. Yeah, Affleck, yeah. Affleck. Beelow, man. Affleck comes in there, throws his keys on the table, does the whole nine. Yeah. Affleck. Yeah. Affleck.

Beelow, man. Affleck is like the next Baldwin, too. Oh, big time. Yeah. He used to have a jacked up grill, and now Baldwin didn't. Without, nah, yeah. They both play Jack Ryan. Always look perfect.

They both play Jack Ryan. What? Yeah. Some of all fears, and then Hunt for Red October. Oh. All right. Suck it. I apologize that was that that was my movies i will not be doing quotes from right yeah i didn't mean to mess everything up like that was

my fault uh yeah you fucked up dude yeah you fucked up it's it's such a weird fight it's a fire hose of masculinity in the way that david mammett have you seen that glenn and gary and glenn and ross thing which is amazing just a lot of fuck you no that's not what glenn and gary and glenn and ross is it's well it's like the movie trailer right did you say glenn gary glenn ross glenn and glenn and gary and glenn and ross that's the movie recut so it's a rom-com but isn't it all swear words i don so. Well, maybe we're thinking of two things. Cause the rom-com thing is fucking hilarious too. That's where they recut a movie. So it looks like Glenn and Gary.

Oh yeah. Glenn and Ross. You're right. I'm thinking of a part where they just took all the swear words and put them all together. So it's just like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck you. Yeah, that's different. Very funny. But yes, they're both.

Fuck you. Oh, that long. Fuck you. That's Ed Harris. I know for sure. It definitely is. Right? Yeah. He does the elong, that long. Fuck you. That's Ed Harris. I know for sure. It definitely is. Right? Yeah.

He does the elongated ones. Uh-huh. Because he's taller. But has a longer gestation period. Takes a long time to get from the lungs up there. Can you say it faster, Ed? I'm fucking trying my hardest. That was me, dude.

I would listen to that speech every day before my shift at Best Buy when I was telling people about credit cards. Yeah. You just walk up to people, what TV are you buying? First place is a Mr. Show season one DVD. Second place is store credit. Third place is, it's fine. Could you imagine Best Buy leads?

God, the leads holy crap no it would just be old people right because you could just pretty much talk them into anything old people and dudes who buy new tvs every two years those would be the leads i've always been the type of person that goes in the best buy and like i'm getting that just say box it up i'm not window shopping box that up I've done that already. And then can we add anything? You cannot. Yeah.

Does it need it to work? Yeah. My dad went in and haggled. My dad went into a Best Buy pretty tore up. Yeah. Pretty early in the day. Pretty with his 12 year old son. Sure.

Pretty in sweatpants. Oh. And haggled me some speakers. Did he? I swear to God, this guy was like, sir, the price is just the price.

And my dad left with cheaper speakers. It just got done. I'm sure the guy was in the back. Like there's this six, six, 300 pound dude out there. Who's wasted with a 12 year old kid. Yeah.

We had a scam in high school with best buy. We'd go to Walmart and out of there, like four 99 DVD bin, we'd just buy a bunch and then take them to Best Buy and return them and say like, oh, we don't have a receipt. Yeah. And at Best Buy, those movies are always like $30. They never had anything on sale. So you just get like $90 in store credit for spending $15 at Best – or at Walmart. Yeah, yeah.

Say that a little closer to my chest if you would. Holding out a wire. See. I get it. Yeah, yeah. Sean Jordan, who is a Walmart. Yeah. Yeah. Say that a little closer to my chest. If you would hold down a wire. See, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. Sean Jordan, who is a comedian,

he was doing a pantomime of holding a wire from sort of his chest. So, I mean, the podcast isn't audible. It is an audible medium, but if you were here, you would have seen the rich textured world that Sean built for us with space work.

What am I doing now, everybody? What am I doing now, listeners? None of them know. And I'm not particularly compelled to tell them. I don't like the dichotomy of this joke. Try being in prison, man. Try going to

fucking prison. See what that's like. Yeah, so second place is a set of steak knives. That's my first pick. Anybody want to say that to somebody at some point? That's a real good pick. Thank you. Thank you.

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Amazing. It's just, and Bill Murray did. He just messed his water up. That is, I mean, I assume Wes Anderson wrote that, but I'm just like. I think him and Owen Wilson did the screenplay. It's perfect. It's so good. It's amazing.

It's so, so, so, so funny. Every time I see it. And Jason Schwartzman's such a little prick. Yeah. He's drinking there, too. He's good weight. It's amazing. It's so, so, so, so funny every time I see it. And Jason Schwartzman is such a little prick. Yeah. He's drinking there too. He has a drink. Drinking whiskeys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And also, I hate when someone calls me guy. It really, I just want to, I won't do anything, but I want to. I hate boss. I hate any of them, really. You don't like Bubba. Oh, Bubba. Who the fuck calls people Bubba? Shane.

Shane Torres. Our friend who we love, Shane Torres, started tossing around Bubba. I was the first one to get it, and I told him, I was like, don't call me Bubba. Yeah. Don't. For him, it's like I'm from the Dallas-Fort Worth area kind of thing. But I'm a fat guy. You can't call me Bubba as a nickname.

No. Every Bubba I've ever seen in pop culture is dead now. You can't call me Bubba. Now he calls other people Bubba, and it's a little easier. Calls me Bubba. Yeah. It's like Bud. Whenever I go to the Midwest, I come back saying Bud a lot.

Yeah, or pal. Oh, what's up, Bud? It's your day, Bud. You know, you just... But yeah,bba's like the southern one of those i guess i don't think so i do i do a lot of sirs thank you sir yeah yeah well guy really my friend rat got into it for a while where he just like hey what's up guy i'm like rat fucking hey man well then i hate that scene is great too because that feeling of

like the girl you're pining for bringing another guy and like that was supposed to be his fucking moment he did the play they go out to eat afterwards like that was his move and then she brings along him and then you get to say the funniest thing in the world he's just staring daggers at him when he says

it like oh are they fucking idiot I just Bill Murray just over there like trying his best oh man to not laugh with the 16 year old kid at the doctor like i the last couple wes anderson movies i haven't been huge a huge fan of but like man he really nails like the subtle humor and little things wasn't uh the hotel one one of the last few darjeeling limited i didn't know i've seen that moonrise kingdom no not moonrise kingdom uh the fucking yeah i know what you're talking about uh not the hotel chevalier no no that was it's a it's

a west anderson it's in a hotel it's awesome yeah what i've heard it was great i haven't seen that one i didn't like moonrise kingdom and uh um there was another one in there that I didn't. I liked them all. He just lost me a little bit. It's not like they're bad movies. He got me. Did you look it up? My internet's not working.

He got me with Bottle Rocket. Mine isn't either. Mine isn't either. Go to the phone. The internet is out at HeadGum Studios due to inclement weather, we're going to say. Oh, wait. Mine just popped up again. Due to inclement?

Yeah, like Ralph Fiennes was in the movie, right? Yeah, Ralph Fiennes. He got me with Bottle Rocket though. Ever since Bottle Rocket, I'm like, he can just poop in bags and put in the movie theater. For sure. The Grand Budapest Hotel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Budapest.

Budapest. The Grand Budapest. That movie is fucking dank, dude. You didn't like that movie? No, I haven't seen that one. Oh, you gotta see it. Moonrise and Darjeeling were the two that kind of threw me a little off. I haven't seen Darjeeling,

but I like Moonrise Kingdom. I like that Fantastic Mr. Fox. That was good. I liked Grand Budapest Hotel. Alright, I like it. That's what you called the cheese plate at the New Year's party at the Grand Budapest Hotel. Yeah. That's my

Hungarian accent. It's so good. It's so good it's so good ray fines killing it bill murray in the movie he's been doing that for like the last decade just kind of showing up in that movie yep i think i think i may i may be wrong about this i think sarsha ronan might be in it i don't know who that is she's in ladybird i might be wrong though too i'm probably no i was right fuck you dude you didn't believe in me fuck you bro fuck you sean first time for everything fuck you dude fuck you dude fuck me fuck you sharpie

fuck you dude talking to me like that whoa yeah y'all, dude. No, fuck you, dude. Don't fuck Sharpie. Don't fucking bring Sharpie into this, dude. Sharpie's a solid dude. Fuck you, dude. Fuck Zach, though, too. What? Oh, I don't know about that, dude. You can't take after Zach.

Fuck you, dude. All right, you got early when you were saying fuck Sharpie? Fuck Sharpie. Fuck Sharpie, dude. Oh, fuck, dude. Tilda Swinton's in it. Oh, in the place to be. Edward Norton.

Adrian Brody. Jeff Goldblum. Goldblum. I don't know what else I have to tell you, Zach. You don't have to tell me anything. I don't know what else I have to tell you. Watch. I'll go home right now.

Isle of Dogs coming out soon. Coming out soon. Did I have a brief romantic liaison in england with a woman who's doing character design on that maybe maybe that happened once maybe that happened well her name wasn't charlotte was it no were you guys that would be crazy we were not no it's different in england they don't mind burning in hell yeah it's the anglican church all right then bruv all right bruv in it i watched kingsman the other night bruv in it peace bruv you're the governor no no no her name was charlotte yeah should we uh

where she was norwegian was that what Charlotte was? Yes. One of Zach's ones who got away. Oh man, there was another one at a Portland show. Yeah. Anyway, we don't have to talk about it. I tried to pull your card on Twitter because I thought it was that girl that you broke up with and you regretted it. No, that's one of my favorite sayings is pull your card. I'm going to pull your fucking card.

Then, he had me dead to rights. I put two of your favorites in there. Those are great. Dead to rights is to rights. I put two of your favorites in there. Those are great. Those are both. Dead to rights is the best. I appreciate the check, though. Yeah. You know what I mean?

I tried to pull his card, tried to put the check out there. Had me dead to rights. Oh, are they? It's a good pick. I love it. It's a good movie. Yeah, I love it. Funniest part of a very funny movie.

Yes. I quoted it in the kitchen yesterday, just apropos of nothing. Ooh, and third fun thing to say, apropos of nothing. You're on a roll. It's the funniest moment in the film because Bill Murray slapping the shit out of that kid's shot. There's no words. There's no words. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel.

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That's great. Florence and the me. Interesting that you should pick that, Sean. Sure. Because I'm also going to pick, I felt like I had to get this one. Favorite quote, favorite movie, very similar to yours. Okay. In my opinion.

All right. From the Royal Tenenbaums. Shit, it's not. I bet it's not the one that I want. Hell of a Damn Grave. Wish it were mine. That one is so good. It's one of my all-time favorite lines from anything.

It's so good. They're walking through the, whatever, the cemetery. Yeah. Him and his son getting together like reconnecting for the first time in a long time it's so funny that is very impressive tombstone hell of a damn grave wish it were mine and he's like uh he's like well that was the thing right and that movie is like he's kind of dying But he also isn't dying Yeah Is he lying about it

He's lying about it But he is No He's just lying about it Yeah he's just He's not dying at all No I mean he

What he dies in the end right It ultimately ends with him He's dead at the end of the movie right No Oh okay Everything's fine at the end Don't they put him in an ambulance He's a

He's a NASCAR driver With Robert Duvall No they Isn't that the same movie He dies at the end. Don't they put him in an ambulance? He's a NASCAR driver with Robert Duvall. Isn't that the same movie? They put Owen Wilson in the ambulance. Oh, right. After he comes down all painted face and runs into the side of the house. That movie, if you, man, like every year I'll check in and watch that movie.

It's never gotten any worse. I've never gotten any sort of sick of it. I mean, it's perfect. It's pretty much the perfect movie in my opinion. There's been two perfect movies and that's one of them. What's the other one? Is it going to come up? No.

No quote, but No Country for Old Men. Oh, yeah. Those two movies are just perfect. I can watch them every day. My favorite quote from No Country is when Josh Brolin is going through, he first finds the money and he opens that truck and there's the guy who's alive and he's asking him for agua. And Josh Brolin's like, I told you I ain't got no agua. I like when he's laying in bed and just like thinking about it.

He's just like, nope. Right. Is that what he says? Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Because he doesn't trust the money. Right. Right. Yeah. And he's like, nope. Right? Is that what he says? Yeah. Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he doesn't trust the money, right?

Yeah. Right. Yeah, and he's just like, nope, and then gets up. Yeah. The movie's so, the silence is golden in that movie. Oh, yeah. It's just so tense. But that cemetery scene that we're talking about.

Here we go. That would have been probably my pick from a quote from that movie is, call it. Oh, yeah. Call it, friender. Call it. Oh, it's so scary. He's so scary. So freaky. The haircut. What a great choice. Oh, man. Call it. Call it. Oh, it's okay. He's so scary. So freaky.

The haircut. What a great choice. Oh, man. That fucking haircut. He's a sex symbol, that guy. Yeah, the heels. Yeah. You show that picture of that dude, and you'll be like, yeah, that guy's sexy.

What's his name? Javier Bardem. All right, cool. I thought I had you dead to rights. Pull my fucking card. Sorry about that. Turns out you had me dead to rights. Pull my fucking card. Sorry about that. Turns out you had me dead to rights. Pull my card.

I'll shoot your fucking nose off, dude. Another one of my favorite ones. Shoot your fucking nose off? I don't know if that's a saying. No, it's not. Trying to get it going? Nah. All right.

No, no. You might be able to get it going. I like the save your face to spite your nose. That's one of my favorite sayings. Cut off your nose to spite your face? There you go. I don't use it a lot. Yeah.

That, yeah, that there was another part of that cemetery scene. That's my favorite. It's when a Richie Tenenbaum is just

standing and then there's like a guy like way up in the cemetery and he's just like, yo bomber. It just puts up his fist. It's just like the

perfect, if you were an athlete, that's exactly what you want. That's such an amazing quote it is yeah and it's just so and he gets one in the end

yeah the fake his like fake tombstone or whatever died saving his family from like a sinking ship yes that's right

he does die in the end yeah my fault I forgot because he has that hilarious quote on there oh yeah god that's a good fucking movie I haven't seen He does die in the end. Yeah. My fault. I forgot because he has that hilarious quote on there. Oh, yeah.

God, that's a good fucking movie. That is a good movie. I don't watch that enough. I need to get that. That's one to own. Oh, yeah. Royal Tenenbaum. Great soundtrack, too. Yeah, great soundtrack.

Just wanted to put on like, I don't know what's going on with my throat. I apologize to everybody listening. I keep doing that. Anyway, just wanted to have on in the background like when you're chilling, like having a, like on Sunday when we were chilling. It's a movie that just throw on in the background like you can talk but also you're like, oh damn, this is awesome. Yeah, this scene.

When Owen Wilson's in the bathroom, you're like, alright, everyone's just going to watch this one, right? Portland, Oregon's own Elliot Smith. Or when Paul Trow gets off the bus and it's the slow-mo. That's, you got to watch that part. With the Nico song. Yep. Yeah. Or when Paul Trow gets off the bus and it's the slow-mo. That's, you got to watch that part. Yeah. With the Nico song.

Yeah. Oh. Mm-hmm. Tear me up. These days. Is it that song? Yeah. Yeah.

These days. I can't even go Nico low. What a talent. Right? What a talent she is. Right? Yeah. Voice did not match what she looked like either.

These days. No. The Velvet Underground. Call Nico. Nico. voice did not match what she looked like either no the Velvet Underground called Nico Nico so Hell of a Damn Grave Wish You Were Mine from the Royal Ten of Arms great pick Zach Toscani

volleyball Toscani I tried to describe some this one makes me laugh just when I was writing it down reading it it made me laugh just on the page. That's the best. I think it's one of the funniest scenes in movies.

It's from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Great pick. Steve Martin. Steve Martin at the rental car agency. You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. And you can give me a fucking automobile, a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick, four fucking wheels and a seat. And then she goes, I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me. And he goes, I really don't care for the way your fucking company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there and i really didn't care to walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway

to get back here to have you smile on my fucking face i want a fucking car right fucking now the way he at the end when he goes and i want a car right fucking now and it just is not getting so big and then she goes like yeah do you have your rental agreement i threw it away and then like the best punchline she's like you're fucked the my favorite part of that whole thing and zach pointed out to me is how he says across a runway back when that was like something that might have been possible right 9-11 where you're like what's that dude doing on the runway there's a scene of where he's like walking and a plane is like landing right next to him oh my god steve marr i mean that whole movie is fucking amazing but man and so as a kid that was that was like i remember one one of those scenes where as a kid my parents would have no problem with me watching it, no matter, even though he drops like 20 F-bombs.

That was the first my mom showed that to me. She's like, I'm going to let you watch this. Same thing. Like, don't say this word. This is funny. But this is so good. I can't deprive you of it. Yeah.

And like, you're going to lose your mind over this. And it is. And what's his name? Del? What is it? Del Griffin. Del Griffin. Yeah. He just looks like such a name? Del? What is it? Del Griffin. Del Griffin. He just looks like such a Del Griffin John Candy.

Shower curtain salesman. These are autographed Daryl Strawberry earrings. I didn't see. I have never seen that movie all the way through. Really? I think I've seen the whole thing, but just like through, like seen this part, seen this part, seen this part. I've just never sat down and watched it.

I have a huge Steve Martin hole in my life I haven't seen The Jerk still yeah well that's a classic yeah

I'm not gonna say that it wears on me but it's a certain kind of humor that you've gotta kind of be in the mood for The Jerk it's real silly

yeah it's like Airplane some of his stuff is pretty dated too oh yeah but Planes, Trains, and Automobiles Planes, Trains I mean that's John Hughes so that's just like and like Yeah, it's like airplane. Some of his stuff is pretty dated too. Oh yeah, I think. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. I mean, that's John Hughes.

So that's just like, man, it's because it's also, it's funny. And it also has this crazy, like heartwarming backstory. Like their relationship throughout the movie is really interesting to watch. With John Candy, right? Yeah. You will cry. I bawl when I see it. Oh, for sure. Every time.

It's so good. It's so funny. You want to hurt me? I've never cried. I like me. I likel when I see it. Oh, for sure. Every time. It's so good. It's so funny. You want to hurt me? I've never cried. I like me. I like who I am. Wow. I've never cried.

Elements of Tommy Boy in there. I'm not about to start now. Oh, man. Not for Steve Martin. Not for John Candy. Not for Johnny Candy. I didn't die at his funeral. I didn't cry at his funeral.

Oh. I definitely didn't die at his funeral. As an 11-year-old. I think he's, man. That's some harsh talk. You don't have love for the candy? I definitely didn't die at his funeral as an 11 year old man that's some harsh talk you don't have love for the candy oh no I love candy I was doing a bit

tune in it's a fun podcast with Pompeii inside my chest for a second I love John Candy cool runnings I'm sure he's done other work Canadian Bacon Well you know

What a take Is there anyone who has that take I don't think there's even anyone I'd talk someone out of it or I would die I would sit there talking until I was dead If somebody told me they didn't like Sir Jonathan Candy We'd be talking.

He should be not alone. Candy Apple. I'd just tell him to watch Home Alone. Sure. And the end when he's the band leader

of the Polka. Oh, yeah. If you don't like that guy, go straight to hell. You deserve to die. Kiss me, Polka. Polka, Polka, Polka. The Kenosha Kickers

different. The Kenosha Kickers. He just had like, yeah, he had this man, like this warmth on screen where you were like, he was so funny and he could be really outrageous, but you were still like, I really like that guy at his core. Yeah. I have a feeling we'll talk about him later. Oh.

I like this. I have a feeling. A little teaser for the rest of the podcast. Yeah. John Candy man he should be like knighted or some shit

yeah he's done amazing he's fantastic well tonight Id oh boy tonight Id is your you're still really good at it

thank you I know yeah yeah yeah I just want to show you the nadir so you'll really appreciate the peak yeah yeah

it's time for your second pick second pick okay I pick. Okay, I am still going to go comedy movie. Sure. So this is at near the end of the film. Film. Film is The Big Lebowski. Danny was a good bowler

and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors and bowling. And as a surfer, he explored the beaches of Southern California from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. He died like so many young men of his generation. He died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him as you took so many bright, flowering young men at Quezon.

At Landock. At Hill 364. Quezon. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donnie. Donnie who loved bowling. And so Theodore Donald Carabatulus, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been,

we commit your finding mortal remains to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, which you love so well. Good night, sweet prince. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that whole movie is quotable, but and then when he shakes the urn

and it just flies in Jeff Daniels' face, it's Walter. And he brings it back to Vietnam. That's one of my favorite things almost in a movie ever is how I just love it when people do that. I search for people doing that in real life. And I have a joke about my friend Trevor doing that. He's got a mystic figure.

But it comes up constantly. Oh, yeah. And it's just the thing, like that Vietnam thing. Every time I'm like, how's he going to work it in here? And Walter works it in. Well, there's not a literal connection. He always gets it done. It always gets in there.

And it's awesome. Always brings up Vietnam. That's one of those movies where you want, like, what is the screenwriting process? Right? What's the first idea you had when you start to write The Big Lebowski? Who knows? The Coens are fucking lunatics, man.

Yeah. And everything, nothing's riffed. They don't let anybody. Right. It was apparently based on someone they, like, lived next to in Hollywood or something. Yeah. Like a real, like a. Yeah, well, I mean, just like, he was like a lazy dude.

I think you couldn't. Yeah. Yeah. There's gotta be, like, rent lock dudes. And Walter Sochek is definitely based on a mean, you couldn't. Yeah. There's got to be like Redlock dudes. And Walter Sobchak is definitely based on a real person. Yeah.

And like a known person and I can't remember who it is. Oh, really? Good work, Chris. But yeah, it definitely is. And Walter Sobchak

is the best character maybe of all time. He's so great. Are you taking care of her dog? Yeah. Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.

It's a show dog with fucking papers you can't board it its hair will fall out but man and also the fact that it's walter sopchak doing he's eulogizing donnie who he fucking hated throughout the entire movie every time i told him to shut the fuck up. Jesus, Donnie. Oh, he's based on John Miliu. There you go. Yeah, who wrote Apocalypse Now. Oh. Okay. That's tight. Wow.

Amazing. And I guess he used to like, like the whole gun scene in the bowling alley is like based on something that he did. Whoa. For real.

He pulled out a gun to the bowling alley? Well, he pulled out a gun somewhere where he definitely should have. Yeah. Which is most places. Yeah. Everywhere.

I like to think of that movie as a movie about people who live in LA and not for showbiz. Yes. Which is for, you know, those people who live here. Where you like look at like the city and you're like,

who are these people who live here? Of which there are millions. Millions. Millions. Yeah. Like you think there's a lot of people here for showbiz and entertainment, which there are, but millions of people who are just like, I mean, it's, you know, it's sunny. Why don't I want to live there?

And it seems like a, I mean, I can't speak for sure, but it seems like that was all part of a Hollywood that's like gone now. Like that kind of like desolate, real dirty, like dingy. It's not made over. Right. But I mean like,

you know, most of those locations are probably completely different now. It would be hard. I feel like it would be hard for a, uh, for a Lebowski to live here now. Oh no. What would the price of rent?

He'd have to have like social security Or like some kind of like workers comp thing I'm saying if you go to old Hollywood You get those like rent locked apartments That people have been in for 60 years They're still like 500 bucks Or remember when his landlord comes He's like hey Just a reminder

It's already the third And he's like far out Far out, man. We had a landlord like that. I know I've told, maybe it was you that I told the other day, but this dude, Craig, we didn't have rent one time. Then I was like, hey, Craig, man, you're just going to have to use the deposit.

Can you imagine trying to tell a legit landlord that? They'd be like, get your shit out of the house. And Craig was just like oh cool all right sean oh wow coward we were i was 20 maybe in college living in the house you coward oh we were we were not good to craig dude that's when we lived on uh clinton street sure we had a landlord who lived like maybe a half a mile away so when we would have big parties he would always find out about it and come over and like try to bust him up his name was also shane yeah oh man a middle-aged dude who thought he was cool but then he wouldn't let us have parties

we had a landlord who it was like a townhouse and he had a business on the bottom floor he owned the whole building but like we had a huge party and someone flushed like paper towels down the toilet and clogged and it started draining in the basement. And he was calling all of us like, I'm in leaving voicemails. I'm in the basement. It's flooding. Stop. And we were all so out of it that we were like, I can't handle this right now. So we just kept partying the whole time, like eight voicemails later. You flooded a poor man's basement. None of us are the heroes in these stories. No, no. You had one?

Yeah, I have a hero one. Oh, do you? Yeah, truly. I lived with a couple of people. This was in Broomfield, Colorado. I lived with a couple of my friends. Dope skate park. And we had a landlord who would come by all the time and drive by constantly

and one time he one time one name one time he told one time he told my roommate um he told my roommate that we needed to clean our rooms what yeah and my roommate was like wait were you in our house and the guy was like yeah yeah i was in he's like, I came by and I was checking it out and the rooms aren't very clean. And my roommate was like, wait, you can't come into our house and we can keep our rooms however the fuck we want to keep our rooms. He's like, so I think we're going to move out because you can't just do, and whatever, lots of other reasons. So as we were moving out, we found out that this dude buried his parents in the front yard. Where they're like rose garden and bench. Where everybody hung out all of the time.

His parents were buried there. Yeah. What the fuck? And you were sleeping there every night. Yeah. Dead bodies right out front. How is that legal? Never go back to a broom.

That can't be legal. That can't be legal, right? I don't know. I don't think you can bury people. I never really looked into it. Yeah. Whoa. That's creepy.

That's way bucker than I thought that was going to go. That same one. And we are the hero. That guy was a freak. You're absolutely the hero. What a monster. You guys are amazing. The same landlord who we flooded later saved our ass because we stopped paying our electric

bill. Yeah. And Duke Energy was like, okay, we're going to come shut it off off but they had to get into the basement and the landlord had to open the door and he was like yeah i'm not gonna fuck them so we just like they couldn't shut off our electricity hell yeah after you flooded his basement he was a forgiving man i guess a man of christ a man who walked with christ uh Chris, it's time for your second pick. Okay. Second pick.

Movie draft. Movie quote draft. Go get your fucking shine box. Let's just cross her off the list. I figured it was on somebody's list. It's on everybody's list. It's such a good. It's so good.

You know, and we've talked about this before on this podcast. I thought that was Dennis Farina for the better part of three decades. Oh, yeah. Until right now, I thought it was. He looks like Dennis Farina. It's not? It's not. The guy who plays him is in like every mob movie, though.

He looks just like Dennis Farina. Wow. It's not him. Are they brothers? No. Twin brothers. Check it. So look at it again, and you'll be like, that definitely isn't Dennis Farina.

Really? You have to know it first. Yeah. Wow. It's the hair, I think, and the beard that do it. Billy Bats. Or no, he doesn't have a beard, just the hair. That, with how furious, it's such a tense moment.

Just everything in there is quivering and you're like, I know he's going to say it. What's going to happen when he says it? And you just, you motherfucker, and then rushes him. And you're like he i know he's gonna say what's gonna happen when he says it and he just you motherfucker and then rushes him and you're like whoa it's so really jumped oh it's so good and he's just sitting there like no no let him come let him no no let him come and then he did that mob thing where like they they got a shot yeah and they just just the tiniest little sip they're gonna fuck my night up tiny little out of his shot glass i'm gonna fuck my night up. Tiny little sip. Tiny, tiny little sip. Out of his shot glass. They're going to fuck my night up. Frank Vincent is the name of the actor.

Yeah. In The Sopranos. Did you think, is that a mob thing? Have you seen it in other movies? Just taking a light sip off of a- Tiny little sip. Just the- It seems like all of them, they do it.

Yeah. It's like not a shooter type of experience. They just get, they'll get it like, how, what are you drinking it for? Just so it doesn't happen. In drinking it for? In the shot glass. In the shot glass. It's weird. I've never sipped out of a shot glass in my life. Frank Vincent, who has passed

this year, wrote a book called A Guy's Guide to Being a Man's Man. Oh, wow. Too much testosterone flowing through those veins. The first lesson is get your fucking shine box. Get your fucking shine box. Get your fucking shine box. And man, of all the

people to test in Goodfellas, he picked the worst one. The true psychopath. Yeah, that... Man. That predates or comes right before one of my favorite quotes from the movie, which... It's related, which it's related.

So it would be weird if someone else took it. Yeah, I think. Yeah, yeah. I kind of like. I feel like as soon as the movie is brought up. There's other quotes from Goodfellas that I think are out there, but this one's like related right to it. Yeah, it could be all right. Yeah.

When they go back to Tommy's mom's house. Oh, yeah. So good. I literally have it here with the fucking I like when they have the painting and it's all improvised I guess.

So funny. Martin Scorsese's mom improvised it. Like I like this one. One dog goes one way the other goes the other way. One's going east the other one's going west

so what? And this guy's saying what do you want from me? The guy's got nice I love that. This guy's like what do you want from me? In the middle got a knife. I love that. This guy's like, what do you want from me? In the middle, it's so funny. And then they go, who does he look like? Looks like someone we know.

Oh, it's him. It's him. Mom, I'm gonna fire this knife. We're gonna cut up this deer. We hit a deer. It's a sin, Mom. It's a sin. I gotta cut up the hoof. What do you call it? It's hand. It's a paw.

It's a paw. It's so funny. What if we had a friend like that? It was like a paw. Oh, man. I wish I could be that Italian for you, Sean. Yeah, right? I got to kick it up. I mean, I'm Irish enough for you. You got the last name for it. All you do is make meatballs that Italian for you, Sean. Yeah, right? I got to kick it up.

I mean, I'm Irish enough for you. You got the last name for it. All you do is make meatballs that Sean can't even find. Yeah, really. Why don't you make fun of me for that again? Dick. Do it. Do it. Spaghetti and meatballs.

And you honestly just thought I would not put meatballs in and not tell anyone. I'm more of a Spaghetti and meatballs man. I don't understand how you didn't notice everybody that was eating had meatballs on the plate. I don't look at people's plates a lot. I'm not looking at your shit. I'll kill everyone in this room.

Don't look at other people's plates. Everyone dies dude. You've never been in prison. You don't look at other people's plates. You don't understand the economy of a prison cell. That's a line in your movie. I don't look at other people's plates. That's like a thing that sucks up your mentality. You don't understand the economy of a prison cell. That's a line in your movie. What? I don't look at other people's plates. Yeah.

God damn right it is. Next time we'll make the meatballs hollow so a couple of them float. Am I fucking pissed yet? Make it easy to find. Go get your fucking shine box. Motherfucker. Motherfucker. it's so good runs his fucking ass over there

you got anger problems at Tommy though oh yeah we saw it later in the movie Sean it's time for your second pick alright we're going to Roadhouse for this

oh a little man named Dalton Dalton's in the hospital and uh I know you well there's a couple but uh yeah

he's in the hospital and the nurse she's patching up his wounds and she goes, have you ever won a fight? And he looks right at her and he goes, nobody ever wins a fight. All right, Dalton, I'll fuck you right here in the hospital room. That's fine. You're perfect.

You're perfect looking. Yeah. And nobody ever wins a fight. Clearly, you win every fight you've ever been in. You rip someone's fucking throat out. Yeah. Nobody wins a fight. It's like the smoothest, toughest,

most sensitive thing you can say all bunched into one thing. Warrior poet. Dalton from Roadhouse. Poet's crazy. That was his real name. I thought you were going to go with pain don't hurt.

Yeah. I mean, that was the other. That's the other one. There were. I mean, basically the same quote. Those are good and good and good on your shoulders. Good and gooder. Good your shoulders weighing on you.

Good and gooder. Good and gooder, dude. You just can't, you know. Is that something you believe? No, I think you do believe that. Nobody ever wins a fight. As soon as it happens. I definitely believe that.

Nobody, I mean, if you, you know, you get in a bar fight, you beat the shit out of somebody, what, you feel good about yourself? And if you are the kind of person who feels good about yourself, then you're, I don't know, you're not that kind of person you if you are the kind of person who feels good about yourself then you're i don't know you're not that kind of person you're not the kind of person i want i understand people need to get beat that their shit kicked in sometimes but i don't need to be happy that it happened and like if i beat someone's ass i wouldn't be happy

that i did it like maybe they deserve it but i wouldn't be happy that i harmed somebody know what i mean yes, that makes sense. Yeah, I would ruin my night if I really hurt. If I sent someone to the hospital, I would feel so bad. But I mean, there are times where like, you know, when we got our computer stolen, if we would have saw that guy doing it. Oh my God. You know, probably would have had some things more than words.

I would have kicked his ass and then you would have taken a turn. I would have been doing push-ups the whole time you were kicking his ass. And then I would have gotten in And kicked his ass again We didn't even know Zach yet But he would've showed up Be like Zach get in here I think I was like Freshly just in the crew

Maybe You were peripheral Were you in the crew? Were you crewed up? Maybe it was like The beginning state It was the flirtatious Just so you know

We consider you having joined the crew In August of this year Oh You know who else Would've kicked that guy's ass? The Laker girl The Laker girls. The Laker girls. The Laker girls.

So far I've spent the entire draft waiting to say that again. And I will. And it's going to be great. The Laker girls. It's just, I'm going to say it when I go to Taco Bell because I will go to Taco Bell after this. Anything else and I'm just going to go, Laker girls. It's just, I'm going to say it when I go to Taco Bell because I will go to Taco Bell after this. Anything else and I'm just going to go, Lager girl.

Nope. No. And then some weird menu item pops up and you're like, what? Lager girl. The meal is free. Different door opens. Magic Johnson's there. He hands you your food.

Urban Magic Johnson. Urban. Was that a real thing? No that was a joke I was bringing it up Urban Magic Nobody wins a fight You've been in a couple fights in your day

I haven't been in many Charpy you've been in some fights? It's been a long time I stopped growing and everybody continued So I stopped fighting Hey guys talking about I'm gonna go get funny over here Zach have you ever been in a fight?

No I got in 07-09 I got in like 5 fights cause of Rat Leaving the bars He'd just call someone a dickhead We'd walk out of the bar and Rat's be like What's up you fucking dickhead Just as some walk out of the bar and rats be like, what's up? You fucking dickhead. Just as some dude.

And I'm like, what are you doing? It's two 30 in the morning in Sioux Falls in July. These dudes are dickheads. So are you. Don't remind them. Yeah, dude,

nobody ever wins a fight. Oh, fuck, Dalton. I had to finish my shift, but now I'm just going to go 10 rounds with you in the bed. You got it. One of the funniest fights I ever saw in high school, it was this dude, Eric Shipwash, who was probably like... What? Yeah, Eric Shipwash. Oh, ship.

I thought you said chip-a-wa. Oh, chip-a-wa? Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, I heard shit-wash. Shit-wash. No, ship-wash. Ship- no. I heard shitwash. Shitwash. It does sound like shitwash. Shipwash. Chippewa.

He was probably like, I don't know, maybe 5'11", but he was like, he was, I mean, he probably weighed like 325. And then the guy he was fighting, Matt Monroe, was like 6'7", but lean as a bean. He was probably like 170. And they were fighting. Chippewa's got it. So Matt really wanted to fight Eric. And Eric was just like, dude, I don't want to fight. So Eric's standing just with

his hands down and Matt's kind of like doing a circle like peppering him in a circle and he's not even affecting him and he's like dude, I don't want to fight. I don't want to fight. Matt just keeps peppering him in the face and then after like two minutes Eric just decked him and that was it.

It was over. It was over. But it was just seeing like over the course of like a minute, him just being like, God, damn it. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. And then finally just not.

Then you get it done. Yeah. Cartwheel, what do you got? Ooh, my turn. All right. With my second pick.

Ooh, there's so many good ones. I know. And it's hard to not go all comedy. I'm realizing I'm like, man, I just want to say funny shit. That's why I got to throw a romantic Dalton in there, you know. Get everybody rocked up a little bit. Romantic Dalton.

Way to round it out for us. I'm going to put in a quote from now my favorite movie. Oh, sure. My favorite movie is the motion picture The Third Man. And Orson Welles is in that movie playing a character named harry lime who finally shows up they're in a uh what was that old noise you made after harry lime it was that was the orson wells from that commercial oh yeah california they're in a uh they're in a uh fucking uh one of them uh the ferris wheel ferris wheel yeah big ferris and uh he they're talking about just the nature of violence and everything sure and uh he

says uh don't be gloomy after all it's not that awful like the fella says in italy for 30 years under the bourgeois they had warfare terror murder and bloodshed but they produced michelangelo leonardo da vinci and the renaissance in switzerland they had brotherly love they had 500 years of democracy and peace and what did that produce the cuckoo clock so long holly say the last part again uh uh in so long oh so long holly there is the character yeah yeah i just laughed over that. I like it. It's amazing. I've never seen that movie.

I think it's on Netflix. I watched that in a heartbeat. It's so good. Gosh, maybe... Put him in anything. I know. He was amazing. I wish he did more stuff. He had done more stuff.

It's an interesting point. renaissance was a short amount of time sure and then i don't think i don't think his quote is 100 factually accurate but what's dope is he like it wasn't in the movie script like god that's cool he wrote he wrote it himself and he's like you're gonna put orson welles in your movie i'm gonna come with some stuff he delivered that and it's like the one of the in my opinion obviously one of the best quotes ever sure and definitely the best quote in that movie. Yeah. It's such a good movie.

What is he playing? What is his character? Harry Lyme is this, he's a like war profiteer. Oh, okay. Basically, yeah. So this is like post-World War II? Yeah, post-World War II. I don't want to say too much.

I mean, it's a spoiler alert. Sure. 60 years later, but wherever. But yeah, he plays a war profiteer they're looking for him the whole movie and he finally shows up like they finally find him this guy's like this author is there to see him okay um so his lines are like justifying his actions yeah a little bit right yeah yeah totally yeah like it's violence so there's it's basically there's opportunity and chaos right kind of thing in Switzerland, everything was hunky-dory for half a millennium,

and they just invented the cuckoo clock. That's not fair. They also invented chocolate. Yeah, the Lindt. The Lindt chocolates. Yeah, the bitchin' watches. Bitchin' watches. Oh, yeah.

Cool knives. Cool knives. I don't know what they invented in that period. Swiss bank accounts. Swiss bank accounts. Pow pow. Swiss bank accounts. Oh, that cold smoke. Cold smoke.

Cold smoke. Is that carvable? Hit the booters. Hit the wedges, dude. High five Jesus I hit the kicker so hard. Broski. Hit that kicker hard, bro. 10-80.

Hort. 10-80 fucking seatbelt grab, bro. Hit it hort with hort. fucking seatbelt grab bro hit a horde with horde seatbelt grab shit we might have to go to Big Bear before the winter's over dude there's a bunch

of skateboarders a bunch of the Nike rich skateboarders they're all in Denver right now at this like just mountain looks like they just went up to the mountains

to get hammered I want to go to Tahoe sometime Tahoe Tahoe didn't they used to have liketv spring break houses there at tahoe or was havasu oh man a bunch of kids let's get a havasu beach a bunch of the football kids went to havasu for spring break once and i was like yeah i'll go and i started looking into it i was

like not this isn't quite my speed doesn't have everybody's gonna have their dicks out that's gonna be weird everyone's coming back with something. Something. Something. Something. Something. An MIP. An STD.

A DUI. They're coming back with some kind of alphabet soup that I have no interest in. An IUD. An IUD. Maybe you're being responsible. God bless them if they come back with an IUD. It's weird if they didn't show up with one. No.

Just in that water. Just at Havasu getting IUDs. Yeah, we went there because there's a great Planned Parenthood. Swallowed too much lake water. Yeah. Got myself an IUD. And I think in Havasu, isn't like some old English bridge there? Yeah, the London Bridge.

The London Bridge is in Havasu, right? Yeah, the original London Bridge. What the fuck are you talking about? The original London Bridge was purchased and then moved to Arizona. What? I don't know. Because it wasn't a functional bridge anymore. So some rich dude bought it.

They bought it brick by brick and reassembled it. So it's just like something to see? It's in public use. I think you could drive over it. You could use it? Yeah. Get the fuck out of town. Are they?

It might be in Westwood. London Bridge is falling down. It's in Lake Havasu. My mind is blown right now. Yeah. I remember when Zach and I have been going to the UCB

and taking improv classes so we could mess with you. Developing rapport. What level, what level are you guys? Three. Now, I don't know

if that's true or not. They're so good. And that's during gym time. It could be a fight. That's during gym time. Improv and gym. That's why you think we're gone so long.

We go to the gym. True. All right. I stand corrected. London Bridge. It was, London Bridge is a bridge in Lake Havasu City, Arizona.

It was built in the 1830s and formerly spanned the River Thames in London, England. It was dismantled in 1967 and relocated to Lake Havasu. To Lake Havasu. To the fucking weirdest place.

Yeah. Well, I know. Something from London and that debauchery just crazy teenage american i mean why would not just build a different bridge because it's not the london bridge okay i got it god that makes sense head out of your fucking ass yeah imagine having money to do that just take the things you want and put them somewhere else you know that eiffel Tower? Mexico City. I just put everything in El Paso. Make everyone go.

Everyone's going to El Paso. Oh, dude, Sioux Falls, we get all eighth wonders of the world. Yeah, they would. Stonehenge, bro? Sioux Falls. Outlining. The real eighth wonder would be me ever going to Sioux Falls. No, I'm just joking.

I'm going there. I'll go. I'm going there. I'm not going to go. The Crazy Horse thing will get done. The tribute, right? Crazy Horse National Monument will to go. I'll go. I'm going to go. Crazy. The crazy horse thing will get done. The tribute, right? The crazy horse national monument

will get done. Not crazy horse thing. You put on your hat. You tied your hat and you pressed it down a little bit. Like OJ at his parole hearing. It was deemed by the court.

It was deemed. Oh, you got bass in his voice. What did Jesus Amiro say about him? That was so funny he said something like uh i'll wear this blue shirt for another 10 and oh yeah i said what when he gets a bassist voice they go i said what i said which is another one of my favorite favorite things to say pull someone's card like how about this i said what i said next time you

talk to me like that i'll pull your fucking card and I will have you dead to rights so help me god I'm doing like that crip walk in a circle though like where you're standing still but you're moving crip walking that's what I'm doing when I'm in them and from Sharpie's point of view it's the spikily rotating camera so with my third pick I have to I'm going to the second quote from goodfellas

of the of the draft i gotta dip back in the movie's full of quotes yeah where are we gonna go and yeah well where we're gonna go is uh it's just outside a bar where two henchmen are sort of falling asleep now the guy's got polly as a partner any problems he goes to polly trouble with the bill he can go to Polly. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy, he can call Polly. But now the guy's got to come up with Polly's money every week, no matter what. Business bad? Fuck you.

Pay me. Oh, you out of fire? Fuck you. Pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you. Pay me. Also, Polly could do anything, especially run up the bills on the joint's credit.

And why not? Nobody's going to pay for it anyway. And as soon as the deliveries are made in the front door, you move the stuff out the back and sell it at a discount. You take a $200 case of booze and you sell it for $100. It doesn't matter. It's all profit. And then finally, when there's nothing left, when you can't borrow another buck from the bank or buy another case of booze, you bust the joint out. You light a match.

Awesome. Now, for anyone who thought Ray Liotta was in the building. Yeah. Was not. He was. I thought he was. Was that not Ray Liotta? That was you. He took me over. My eyes were closed the whole time. He took me over. My face is pockmarked. It's so dark. My hair is slicked back. It wasn't when I came in here.

I look like I need dental work, but I have perfect teeth. But I have perfect teeth. He does look like he needs dental work. But they're great. They're perfect. Oh, man. Tiny. Almost all of his voiceovers like that are great. They're so good. Carrying the groceries home. Yeah, yeah.

All of them. He's got that kind of a weird Chicago tinge to his voice a little bit almost. Yep. Yeah. He's in this movie, Nark.

He plays the hardest dude I've ever seen him play. Oh, yeah. Nark is really good. And yeah, he's real buck in that. That's where you get that voice. You're like, whoa.

Different kind of Ray Liotta. Yeah. Goatee Ray Liotta. That Goodfellas Ray Liotta is my favorite. Yeah, in Nark, he's like thick ass goatee. It's thick. I always liked in Blow that Ray Liotta is the dad because it almost feels like a spiritual carryover

or like his son is now like way into drugs and stuff. It's not, but that's just one for me. Anyway, I'm just saying. It's a little bit, it's the mob movie. Anyway, I'm just saying. It's a little bit. It's the mob. This quote is a mob movie version of that masterpiece song that teaches you how to make crack. Yeah. It just teaches you how to commit insurance fraud.

It's awesome. Ghetto dope. Crack like this. Yeah. It's just about how to do insurance fraud and how they were like making money like on all these different venues. And then fuck you. Pay me. They explain it so well too when he explains

paulie is like what people don't understand is paulie is like the cops for wise guys and you're like okay i get so good yeah there it is you explain it to me just protect criminals that's what you're doing now honesty time the first time i ever heard this quote it was a it was a parody of the quote from the jayZ song Money Cash Hose. Because at the very end of it, there's this guy who I just learned is named Pain in Da Ass. Is who does this part. And he's like, okay, okay, okay. So now the guy's working for Jay-Z, making hot songs.

But any trouble he gets in, he runs to Jay-Z. Trouble with the label, he calls Jay-Z. But he still has to come up with Jay-Z's money every week, no matter what. Not selling any records? Fuck you. Pay me. Oh, you want me in your video? Fuck you. Pay me. No one's coming to your shows, huh? Fuck you. Pay me. And what do you do when you can't borrow another dollar from the label? You can't sell any singles

in the stores? You light a match. You blow the joint. Explosion noise. Shut up! Explosion noise. They just straight up ripped at the end of that money cash hose song

money cash hose money cash hose god that's tight I would love if he actually said explosion noise

explosion noise that would have been way too funny explosion noise so it ends with that and it starts with J-A-Y I flow sick

fuck all y'all haters blow dick. So that's the beginning. The end is a Goodfellas quote. I mean, masterpiece. Masterpiece. It's a real masterpiece. But yeah, it's just such a...

It's great. I wonder if it was from the book. Oh, in Goodfellas? Yeah. Maybe. Or if that was like a Scorsese thing it's a book i should read i'm kind of surprised pain in the ass didn't get a lot more popular i know i was hoping for a lot more from pain in the ass yeah you guys didn't really get too into pain in the ass back in the

day i mean i of course i mean i celebrate his whole i had a lot of pain in the ass when I was a kid. Yeah. You loved pain in the ass. I loved pain in the ass. Sean, you'll talk about pain in the ass like he's a mainstream musician or comedian, whatever he is. I think pain in the ass was one of the most underrated, and I don't use the slightly geniuses, of our time. Yeah. Pain in the ass.

Pain in the ass. Gift of my whore. Ooh. Pain in the ass. So he my whore. Pain in da ass. So he's a rapper. Pain in da ass. Pain in da ass. Heavy rotation on my desk, man. What do you think pain in da ass's real name is? Like Jeff?

No. Cecil. Should have kept Cecil. Pain in da ass. He looks like a white guy or maybe a Puerto Rican dude. Oh, no. I'm looking him up now. He has an Instagram.

I have more followers than painting the ass. He just got a Google hit, I guarantee. Whoa, who's looking me up? He looks like a white Drake. Yeah. Yeah, he does look like a white Drake. Drake looks like a white Drake. Well, I mean like-

Whitest Drake. Painting the ass. Well, dank. Wow whitest drake. Pain in da ass. Well, dank. Wow. Pain in da ass. How dare you name yourself that? What are you thinking? It looks like you run

some Verizon store. Yeah. How do you think you're going to go have a career? That's a name you give yourself long before you think

about what success means. Long before. Yeah. Like, oh, this will be cool. Then they'll, I can see it now. Selling out Madison Square Garden. Long before, yeah. Like, oh, this will be cool. Then they'll, I can see it now. Selling out Madison Square Garden. Pain in da ass.

Parents will have to tell their kids about me. Now, Jeff, Sean asked if he could go to the Pain in da ass concert and I told him that you were going to be civil about this. Well, Sean, your mom says you want to go to Pain in da ass tonight.

P-I-D-A. You are 13. Yeah, pain in the... Your stepdad would make some joke like, what's he going to go see himself? Hey, don't use that in your act. I will. I will. Sean Jordan, time for your third pick.

We're going to go to The Dark Knight. But we're not going to say one of the fun ones. The one that we're going to say to the dark night. Oh, but we're not going to say one of the fun. Okay. One that we're going to say is, pray to me. Why so serious? Oh, that's what we're using.

Cause that works, but I just wanted an avenue for us to be able to, where's Lau? Where's Lau? I'm not wearing hockey pants. I'm not wearing hockey pants. Pray to me. Pray to me. And that was all Marissa doing that. I'm not wearing hockey pads Prada man Prada man

And that was all Marissa doing that That's what people are like What does Marissa sound like? She doesn't have a mic That was all Marissa Marissa grabbed a mic and did all that Prada man Alright Marissa, go ahead

Cheese and rice You're being a real pain in the ass I'm not wearing any hockey pants Where's Lau? being a real pain in the ass. I'm not wearing any hockey pants. Where's Lau? God, it's crazy how those are good movies and then that's how he talks. What if you went to Taco Bell and then what can I get you?

Where's Lau? Screamed it right into Taco Bell the drive-thru and just sat there and waited. You didn't say anything else and they just be like, excuse me? What did you just order in Batman voice the whole time? Were you just like, what can we get you today?

Oh. Give me a second. Give me a second. Do we do multiple orders? Do you guys have lava sauce? That's what I was going to ask. It's volcano sauce. I know it's not on the menu

but you still have volcanoes off we were thinking about the same exact thing where is it I can't find the crunch wrap on the menu where's crunch wrap on the menu. Where's the crunch wrap? These tacos are loco. Holy buckets, yeah. I think the Joker.

I don't know. Why so serious? I had a poster. That was like the last loose poster I ever had. Yeah. What's up? Why so serious? When did that movie come out?

Hold on. Yeah, that's too late. That's too late in life. I went to that movie come out hold on yeah that's too late to admit that's too late in life I went to that movie with Nicole I'll tell you I'll tell you that

that's why you get the poster Nicole I'm just gonna do that at Taco Bell where's Nicole Nicole I'm gonna eat Taco Bell

until she comes back Nicole I'm not wearing any wedding ring how old are you now you're 36 what year did it come out 2008 you bought a poster at 26 maybe 27 actually it was like the joker through you could it was like a blurry vision of the Joker

drawing lipstick on a mirror and it was Why So Serious written in lipstick hanging up in my room with a tear in it because I moved with it. You made the jump? Yeah, I made the jump from I think 712 South Willow over to 2810 South Norton. Was it ripped before you made the move?

It might have got ripped in the move. But I didn't care because I needed that poster in my room. Never got it. Never got a frame for it. Never got a frame for it. Were you moving to where a Spencer's gift was? Man, did Nicole get it for me?

26, 27 years. That's crazy. She might've bought it for me. Cause the dark night was like. Our movie. I mean, that was basically a relationship. She would blow up a hospital for you.

Use like a ferry boat for her. Sean became Two-Face after the whole thing. Holy buckets. Man, that's wild that you bought a poster at that age. Or it was bought for you. But either way, a 26-year-old man flattening up against the wall a poster oh not even like tax or that sticky tack i think i so i think i set it on my bed for a while with like books pillows on and stuff to get it straight and then i did the the

silly putty stuff can't have holes in it for when i relocate again if i do i'm trying to i'm trying to decide in my head if it's weirder, if it's not framed or unframed. Or framed or unframed. It's weird. It's weird. All, every way is weird. Because if you frame it, you're putting more money. If it's framed, like, you know, I was.

Like a Michaels. Some, you know, Nicole and I got married if it's framed. Yeah. Remember when you got me this? Then here we are. You celebrate that anniversary. It's sitting in the front of our split foyer in Brandon South. Split foyer.

So yeah, why so serious? Why so... Do you want to do it? I don't have a good... I can only do it when he's pissed. Yeah. I can... Why so serious? Oh, good.

That was pretty good. I don't think I have... Why so serious? No, I can't do it. I don't have one. You know what I do have? We were walking in. What did you have?

Where's Lao? I thought you were going to say you had Lao. And I was like, tight, you found him. Oh, no. You got Lao, dude? I have Lao. Oh, here's Lao. You've got Lao.

And then he just starts talking. He's like, Lao, dude, I've been looking for you, dude. Where have you been? Man, I've been talking like a dick for the last decade. What are you, you about to tell a story or something? I don't know. Alright, moving on. You know the difference between me and you, Sharpie.

What's that? It's not my third pick. It's not my third pick. It is yours, though. Got the transition game popping again. In case anyone was wondering why I didn't do one of those Batman voices, it's because I was laughing so hard that entire time I couldn't breathe enough to say a word. Yeah, Marissa's good at it, dude. Incredible.

Where was the one? I have it. Oh, hang on. Okay. Third pick. Right? Yep. Yep.

Okay. I'm checking this. I'm checking. Jesus Christ. Get a hold of yourself. All right. I'm picking this one. Thanks for your help.

You're welcome, dude. I'm picking this one for many reasons. One, it's a great movie. One, it's a funny quote. But two, specifically being a Denver boy. And any time you're driving into Colorado from fucking anywhere. I get it. I know.

It's the best. Man, that John Denver is full of shit, man. You can say it any time. It's the best. That quote has gone with me everywhere. I'd say it's the one that I say with my brothers more than any other quote. And it's the best when you're actually looking at the mountains. Yeah.

Which doesn't make any sense. That's not the way they did it in the movie. It's still awesome. But it's still the most fun thing to say while you're staring at giant mountains. We've said it through countless drives through the Midwest. Oh, it's the best. When we're silent for like 20 minutes, we're like, John, Denver is full of shit, man. And it always wakes everybody up like, you know, let's stop and get some jerky and some

big gulps. Oh, man. Yeah. It gets it all going again. From dumb and dumber for the listeners who don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

Oh, it's so... What leads up to that? Like what... It's because he's... He took the wrong turn, but like what does Gary to that? It's because he's- He took the wrong turn, but what does Gary ask him? No, he starts daydreaming about making out with his- Oh, about Lauren Holly. Yeah.

And then her breasts turn into headlights. Headlights, yeah. And he swerves, takes the wrong turn. Right. All right. Then they're in the Midwest. Yeah. Yeah, because it's right after they get the big gulps of jerky.

Right. Yeah. I think he just wakes up. Right. And he just looks and he's like, man, that John Denver's full of shit. I didn't,

you know, honestly, when that, when that came out, I had no idea. I don't even know that I knew who John Denver was really. Yeah. You could probably bust me again for being old and not knowing who John Denver was,

but I had no clue. Yeah. And it's about Rocky Mountain High, right? Like that's why, that's where it's coming from. Yeah. I thought it was funny without knowing who John Denver was. This John Denver guy, he's really getting raked over the cold right now. They really pulled his card.

Dead to rights. Got him dead to rights. Got him dead to rights. They really pulled his card. Got him dead to rights. Got him dead to rights. They really pulled his card. I'm going to just say that to Laura constantly. And that waiter really pulled your card. I don't know.

Want to do something? I wish you could have seen, I wish like we could see like four hours of them on the road. If Dumb and dumber was just like eight hours long oh yeah the same plot but it was just extended everything yeah there's so many lines from that movie i i mean i could quote that whole movie i think and i've surprisingly

my mom's pretty lame in general yeah she's cool i love my mom to death right you know how moms are mom yeah she loves that movie it's like one of her favorite movies and it's the best because we watch it all the time yeah you can share it yeah she thinks it's hilarious i don't know why and it's great i always like the part and there's no it's not dialogue but like when he's jim carrey's watching the commercial the long distance commercial that's making him cry and he's just wiping his tears with like $100 bills. There you go. There you go.

We just said mom lame. I have to send a shout out to St. Sue Carmel who is listening. You're not lame, ma. No, no, no. Donald Sue Carmel a iPad for Christmas. How'd she take it? She loves it. That's great. She loves it.'s great she loves it yeah she what someone came at her on twitter the other day and she was like was i really being lame and the guy's like

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no she said he said he didn't even call her lame he said she was holding court which she was which we'll talk about In perhaps next week's episode One young jizzling gets back But yeah Great pick Volleyball And it's time for your third And also your fourth pick

Oh man A bump and a set Yeah This is where This is where I'm I'm popping between a few Okay well this one I feel like you'd have written

Sharpie on eyes On like a Stick it Like a sticky note So for my third pick I'm going I feel like you'd have written Sharpie on eyes on like a sticky note. So for my third pick, I'm going Crash Davis from Bull Durham. Well, I believe in the soul. You do it.

The cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curveball, high fiber, good scotch, the novels that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, softcore pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in

long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. That movie is one of my favorite movies of all time, and that is the best part. Damn near the best part of the movie. Costner. Like every sports movie, he's the best. Perfect Costner.

That is like in the pocket. Perfect Costner right there. That and Field of Dreams back to back. Oh, boy. You've seen, no, I don't want to be Bull Durham, right? Of course. Yeah. Him saying the cock the

pussy yeah it's a little dated it's a little dated i don't know i don't know it's right off the bat it's off-putting in any era you didn't say that in the late 80s a lot and also the soft core pornography where you're like okay well check no you didn't have those sweatpants that set the cock on one side of the pussy on the other? That's weird. Also, this character would not know about Susan Sontag. Well, they let you in a little bit. Crash Davis is very well-read. Yeah.

He reads books. He does read books. Yeah, I'm right. He's been in the minor leagues for like 30 years. Yeah, he's got a lot of time. But he's not a drunk loser like the rest of them. As a kid, that was like a movie that I could get away with watching. And it's like pretty sexual.

But like your parents were just like, I don't know. It's a baseball movie. All she's talking about is fucking the whole time. Yeah, for sure. Like I and that whole like as I got older of like, oh, I kind of understand that plot point like way more like what she's actually doing for them. You know, like getting them out of their heads but yeah i mean as a kid i just remember being like like i don't even fully understand that monologue but i was like whoa he won me over right he can stay in here look at the confidence with fuck susan santana yeah oh yeah with pleats on his pants he's still that confident pleated

khakis the whole movie whole thing oh yeah with Oh, yeah. With tucked in polos. The whole time. And then a jacket over top, like a bomber jacket. Yeah, like a bomber jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Colin and Robin's meat.

You got a million dollar arm, but a five cent head or a two cent head. Yep. That is a great movie. It is a great movie. It's fantastic. What's the other great movie

that you'll be selecting a quote from? Okay, so this one is from, this is a drama. This is switching it up. Fantastic. What's the other great movie that you'll be selecting a quote from? Okay. So this one is from, this is a drama. This is switching it up. Straight Story. This is one of my favorite movies. It's a David Lynch movie. It's called The Straight Story. Oh, I don't know it. So it's about this, it's like happened in real life, but it's, you know, but it's about this guy in Iowa who is like 70, who has health health problems but he finds out his brother who he hasn't talked to in decades has a stroke

his the main character his vision is so bad that he can't drive so he rides his lawnmower from Iowa to Minnesota to see his brother can be a fairly short trip and it's on a lawnmower but it's just him

it's like his journey because it's on a lawnmower. Yeah, yeah. They're tough. But it's just him. It's like his journey because it's like, you know, they're getting to the twilight of their lives. And throughout like him driving, he meets these people, like these certain people that he interacts with. And the first person that he interacts with was this pregnant hitchhiker that he passes by. And then later on, she catches up with him. And he's like outside because he has like a trailer hitch to this lawnmower what's the quote well it's all building to the quote you son of a bitch is this is this the quote yeah this whole thing is the quote but anyway so then the they're at the campfire right she's pregnant she doesn't want to go back home. She thinks her family will exercise her. And he's talking about, and he's like, you know, when I was, when my, when my kids were young, I'd give each one of them a stick and one for each of them.

And I'd say, you break that. And of course they could real easy. Then I'd say, tie them sticks in a bundle and try to break that. Of course they couldn't. Then I'd say that bundle that's family. And that's just one that, Ooh, like you can hear me welling say that bundle that's family and that's just one that oh like you can hear me welling up right there i mean that's just like that is a perfect metaphor and just like something i try to think about and like family incorporating friends with that too but like yeah just like the this is what it is like these don't these don't break oh i would without the love of my immediate family and my friends, I would be a broken man. 30 times over.

With those texts. I was taught a similar lesson in Sunday school where it was like, break one of these threads, try to break all these threads. Yeah. Judaism. Now I think this movie predates Judaism. Definitely predates Matt my sunday school teacher

we were watching that spielberg documentary and a picture of his family comes up and he just goes jew shit i fucking lost it jew shit it was some heavy jew shit that was going on on screen if i remember there was a part where I was like, damn, this is like pretty fucking heavy. He gets real Jewish. Yeah. That is a great quote and 100% true. Yeah, it is. That is fantastic.

It's very deep. Jew shit. Yeah. Like if you just have. And it's a very on David Lynch movie. It's like a linear timeline. There's nothing like super crazy. But yeah, I got to watch that at work and I've watched it like 10 times.

Wow. I've never even heard of it. Yeah. It's great. What's it called? The Straight Story. It was in 99. Sissy Spacek's in it.

The main guy was a stunt guy for like all these westerns in the 50s and 70s. Not the 60s. He took the 60s. Yeah, yeah. What are you – 60s were a weird time. You had to have a couple kids. Got to get them to stuntman age and then you can get back

in the family trade. But yeah, it's... Awesome. I'll have to watch it. Excellent pick. Sharpie, time for your fourth pick. Okay. Man, there are so many.

There's so many. We're going to leave a million. He thought he didn't have enough. Sharpie's like, I didn't bring enough. And I go, you've been in a lot of movies, many. There's so many. We're going to leave a million. He thought he didn't have enough. Sharpie's like, I didn't bring enough. And I go, you've been in a lot of movies, bruh. Just enough is plenty. My son's been in plenty of movies, bruh. Govnaz.

Okay. Govnaz. That's all of you. You're all governors. Okay. Here we go. Fourth pick. I feel like all of mine are one sentence long, but whatever.

That's fine. I drink your milkshake that one i have not seen that movie since the theater oh really oh yeah i have no idea what it's about even like i mean I mean, I loosely, but like I couldn't. It's about milkshakes. Mostly. And that was like a line that was taken from like Teapot Dome scandal or something. Was it? Oh, yeah. The milkshake. It was spoken in like Congress.

It was like talking about something. And like some senator was like, if you have a milkshake and I have a milkshake and my straw goes across, I drink your milkshake. Huh? I drink your milkshake. I have a milkshake and my straw goes across. I drink your milkshake. Huh? I drink your milkshake. Your milkshake. Drainage, Eli. You boy.

You boy. You boy. You sniveling boy. Yeah, and that was one of Paul Dano's first kind of real movies, right? Little Miss Sunshine. Oh, that was before that? No, no, I'm saying I think Little Miss was before. I mean, it was like his first real movie, right?

Don't believe me, Daniel. Yeah, that was him. Hell yeah. Eli Sunday. They should have put you in a glass jar on a mantelpiece. That's pretty good. That is pretty fucking good. I drink your milkshake drainage that is so good that now my straw reaches across doesn't do it like that yeah

the room and it starts to drink your milkshake uh that is so good that fucking movie's dope yeah he's in that phantom thread movie now and I haven't seen it yet. Oh, I want to see that. I do too. It's just such a long movie that I don't ever want to sit and watch it. You know, if it was two hours. There will be blood?

Yeah. Oh man, I don't know. It's long, but man, every scene you're just like, this is so beautifully shot. Yeah. I don't want to be that serious like most of the time.

He's like like why so serious you know he even got a poster to prove it he picked it now the poster is laying right above my bed

it used to be Miss Elizabeth when I was a kid and now it is it's on the ceiling it's tattooed on his heart it's on the ceiling

so you can look at it but you still got it framed it's basically a big rip now it's so good. Daniel Plainview. Yeah. That's one. That's a movie I'll watch before going on like an airplane or something where you're

just like, okay, I need to kill. Oh yeah. A certain amount of time. Yeah. I feel like that's a weird quote too. Cause it just made it into the like everyday.

Everybody says that all the fucking time. You drank your milkshake, bro. Yeah. It's a good one. Yeah. I also didn't know they had milkshakes back then. You know, milkshake, bro. It's a good one. Yeah. I also didn't know they had milkshakes back then. You learn a thing or two.

That's true. Yeah. I really didn't. In the interest of time, and since we're creeping up on two hours, Sean, it's time for your fourth pick. Oh, God. That happens so fast. All right. So I think I got this by memory, but it's from the 40-year-old virgin, and it's Kevin Hart and Romany Malco talking.

And so just the part that's my favorite where he goes, you've been, so it's Romany Malco goes, you've been warned, all right? Let's move forward amicably. And then Kevin Hart goes, whoa, hold up, hold up, hold up. First of all, since you're throwing all these big words at me, and I don't know what they mean, I'm going to take them as disrespect. Watch your mouth and help me with the sale just his like whoa hold up hold up hold up since you're throwing all these big words at me and i don't know what they mean i've always loved that yeah idea i'm like i would do that i'd be like fuck you dude yeah all these big fucking nine dollar words to me i don't even know what that means yeah it's it's, it's the, it's the funniest scene

in that very funny movie. It's so good. That is great. I wouldn't be surprised if it was improvised either. I wouldn't either. And that, it bums me out

because Romany Malco hasn't really done any other funny things. He was in Weeds and then Chateau, that weird movie with Paul Rudd. I don't even know

what that is. Yeah. Yeah. It's not that funny. He just, he's, he seemed like such a funny dude in that movie and it's not that funny he just he's he seemed like such a funny dude in that movie and that's that's that's the only taste I've got but that is one

and also that was the first Kevin Hart that I ever I didn't know who Kevin Hart was but I was like it's fucking dude yeah and like yeah is this your boy to have the knowledge to like I don't understand these words and I know they make me mad so i'm gonna take him as disrespect that's the the best part about that dynamic is he's like i get it is that your boy both y'all getting clapped up when i come back spoon rolling 20s is that your boy is that your boy you just got fucked up with him which is just that that mentality of like oh i'm pissed off now oh it's so good yeah um for my fourth pick i will also enter the world of comedy it's a it's a big i'm gonna get i think for the first time on mine uh yeah really you have yeah oh yeah i'm gonna do the extended cut what i'm really taking is just uh the end of it but

i'm gonna do the extended cut because i like it so much it's from wedding crashers it's when vince vaughn is going at owen wilson uh owen wilson has been like uh who did who did he sleep he uh rachel mcadams he's trying to get yeah with rachel mcadams but doesn't he sleep with somebody oh he like sees her mom mom yeah so he's like why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family I have some real problems jackass his mood changes immediately

so he's furious at Owen Wilson who had just told him that he had seen the mother's breasts it's crazy I didn't remember that exactly because this may be the movie I've seen the most but he's like and then the mood turns immediately. He's like, what were they like anyway? They look pretty good.

Are they real? Are they built for speed or for comfort? What do you do with a motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboat son of a bitch. You old sailor, you. Where is she? She stole my outfit.

I know that thing got like worn out after the movie. Well, that's what means it's a good quote. Like there's t-shirts that say motorboat on them and shit. The thing that kills me isn't even the motorboating part. Like whatever. Like, I mean, I know that's like caught on with people. But the thing I love is you old, like you motorboat and son of a bitch, you old sailor you. I love that.

He calls him an old sailor. I love that. Where is she? Is she still in the house? She's still in the house. Like he might get a chance to see her too. Where is she? She's still in the house. Like he might get a chance to see him too. Come on. He starts looking around.

Where is she? She's still in the house. Just the way his mood, like the mood turn is amazing. That's what tells you they're best friends. Cause he's so pissed. And he's like, all right,

we're done. Now back to being best friends. How dope was that? Yeah. And that, my favorite part of that whole quote, cause that was on my list too, is when he is just the first part where he's like, why don't you try getting jacked off under the

table? That's a real problem. Jackass. That's a real problem. It's always, the term jack off is always funny to me. It's just a funny sounding term. And to say it with that much conviction when he did get jacked off under the table. And hated it.

When he's doing that too, he's like,'s like oh she's kidding feels so good when she jokes uh so that is my fourth pick it's so good for my fifth pick i have to take it's it's not the best quote it's not it's not from the best movie it might not even be my favorite but it's the one that i use the most in my life, I think, period. Okay. It's from a movie called Man on Fire. Oh, yeah. I got one from Man on Fire.

It's Christopher Walken talking to, I think, Taylor Leone about John Creasy, Denzel Washington's character. Know a lot about this movie. Creasy Bear. Creasy Bear, who's gone off now to to put the hurtin on some cartel people yeah who kidnapped talioni and uh and who's decoded they kidnapped dakota fanning and he's just he's like trying to describe what kind of person john creasy played by denzel washington is and he says a man could be an artist in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it.

Creasy's art is death. And he's about to paint his masterpiece. Oh, man. Walken probably could have like all these picks. He has so many good ones. Yeah. And I'll just, whatever we're about to do, I'll take that and put it in there we could be like grocery shopping and i was looking for beer like a man could be a master at anything i could be an artist in anything food whatever sean jordan's art is beer and he's about to paint

his masterpiece like velvet i swear i just like grabbed a fucking 12 pack and i was like a man can be an artist in anything food whatever zach disconny's art is volleyball yeah there i was looking through man on fire today i'm gonna leave it on the table but at the end there's another one oh yeah it's like just all all metaphorical like that. Yeah. Okay. All right. So a man can be an artist in anything. Art, whatever. Sean's art is making his fifth pick. Making my fifth pick. And he's got his masterpiece.

He's back. He's in the house. Got checked in. Dunstan checked in. Dunstan checked in. And they don't check out. Man, I don't want to go comedy again. See, I'm wondering if I do

if I go from the heart because it's comedy or if I do we'll do this. This is what I don't think anyone's touched on like horror movie yet. So this is from a movie called Seven and it's at the end of the movie and the quote is What's in the box?

What's in the fucking box? What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the fucking box? What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the fucking box? Because he gets all serious on one of them. Yeah.

What's in the fucking box? We won't say what's in the box. No. Just in case someone hasn't seen Seven. I'll tell you what. By the way, it's too late. Now that space is, you fucked up. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You can't watch it. Maybe it's really in there. Oh, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. That scene in that movie just like oh it made you because you're like he won he got him yeah he did it he did exactly something nobody thought he could do and he did it yeah and just the the emotions that brad pitt goes through in that because he's like what's in what's in the box you know and then it's just oh when he figures it out oh god yeah oh because morgan freeman's just like more john doe has the upper hand oh man and that sinking feeling where when he knows and you're just like it's just it sucks it's such a horrible horrible horrible moment yeah so that was great quote though yeah and fun

to make fun of yeah it's just fun to lean back. See now, I had David been here doing that quote. He would not have taken super producer Marissa into account. He would have screamed it into the microphone. I tried to lean back a little bit. Lean back. So maybe, maybe it helped.

I don't know. I always like to think that that would be a fun Popeye's commercial. What's in the box? Popeye's chicken. Cause it comes in a box. They got that pit to do it too. Oh man. Holy buckets.

Yeah. It's part of his, like, Hurricane Katrina relief. He'd have to adopt about 600 more kids before he'd get down to that level. Sharpie, it's time for your final pick. Oh, boy. This is tough. There's too many. God damn it.

Okay. I'm going to pick this. there's too many good ones but my pick is uh really not even a a word all right it's just when uh brent from the big lebowski uh the big lebowski's helper guy yeah and they're walking outside and bunny Lebowski offers to give, uh, Jeff Lebowski a blow job, whatever. And Brent's laugh,

just his laugh when she's like, I'll blow you for a thousand dollars. And he's like, it's the most uncomfortable. Best. We're all very fond of Buddy LaBelle. Yeah, because she was like,

like, Brent can watch, but he has to pay a thousand or something like that. He does that. That laugh is the best. Philip Seymour Hoffman? And there's like another part when he's showing Jeff Lebowski all the things on the wall where he fucks up, but they leave it in the movie And there's like another part when he's showing Jeff Lebowski,

all the things on the wall where he fucks up, but they leave it in the movie where he's like, uh, the little urban achievers. He's like for the net, for the necessary, for the necessary means. It's so weird.

It's so good. Yeah, that is. We're all very fond of money. That's so good. Yup. Young Toscani, what is your final pick? Oh, man.

In the interest of time, I can't pick. This one's a three paragraph. You know what it should be? Volleyball. What your last pick should be. Volleyball. Laker girl. Oh, man.

That's what it should be. Okay. I've got it. Okay. Fifth pick from Big T and Little C. Big T and Little C. Big trouble. Little child.

Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earthquakes and the poison arrows fall from the sky and the pillars of heaven shake. Yeah. Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right square in the eyes and he says, give me your best shot, pal. I can take it. shake. Yeah. Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right square in the eyes and he says, give me your best shot, pal. I can take it. That movie's fucking dank. We all gotta be

Jack Burton sometimes. It's so good. I do enjoy me some Big T and Little C. Is it true they're remaking it? I heard they are with Dwayne. I hear there's a remake. Dwayne the Rock? Remake.

Oh, boy. Dwayne the Rock Haters in the Building Johnson. Yeah. Yep, haters are in the building. Excellent final pick. Great pick. To recap,

I went first. I took second place at Steak Knives from Glen Gary Glen Rock. Get them interested in the names you're going to give them. 500 Years Cuckoo Clock

from the third man. Fuck You Baby from Goodfellas. Where is she? She's still in the house from Wedding Crashers. And a man can be an artist from Man on Fire. Sean, you went second and took Oh, Are They? from Rushmore.

Nobody Ever Wins a Fight from Roadhouse. Poster that you purchased as a 26-year-old from The Dark Knight. Throwing a lot of big words at me from 40-Year-Old Virgin. What's in the box from seven that's a great list that is a great list that is a great list

Sharpie you went third and you took a hell of a damn grave wish it were mine from the royal tenenbaums and then go get your fucking shine box from good fellas

man that John Denver is full of shit from dumb and dumber I drink your milkshake from there will be blood. And, this laugh from the big Lebowski, something like that. Oh,

that's what it is. It's exactly. That's exactly what it is. It took me a minute. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is. Uh,

Zach Toscani, you, uh, bumped with, you can start by wiping that dumb ass smile off your face from planes trains and automobiles you set with danny was a good bowler and a good man speech from the big lebowski then you spiked with i believe in the soul the cock and the pussy speech from bull the ball slammed onto the hard court with tithe-em sticks in a bundle. That's family from the movie The Straight Story.

And you wandered over to the sideline and took a swig of Gatorade with Just Remember What Jack Burton Does from Big T and Little C. How was your last pick? Not Wilson from Castaway. Wilson! You're volleyball. Nickname's volleyball. We left so many good ones on the board. Yeah, King Kong ain't got shit on me.

AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, except no substitutes. Samuel L. Jacks from Jackie Brown. The fucking, hey man, my girlfriend's in there. Listen, a lot of guys' girlfriends are in there. A lot of guys' girlfriends are in there. The shitty Beatles. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. Oh, yeah. Classic. Conan, what is's in there. Listen, a lot of guys' girlfriends are in there. The shitty Beatles. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Oh, yeah. Conan, what is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. That's awesome. From Conan. That's great. That didn't make it cut.

Conan, the barbarian. Funky butt-loving. Oh, that's so good. That one almost made the list. Carla Was the Prom Queen. Carla Was the Prom Queen from The Rock. I love that one. Here you go, man on fire.

Here's the other one I was thinking. This is John Creasy talking. Forgiveness is between them and God, and it's my job to arrange the meeting. Oh, that's so good. That's a good one. From Star Wars, when Han Solo, when they broke onto the Death Star. Had a slight weapons malfunction, but everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine.

We're all fine here now. Thank you. How are you? Over the security thing? It's so funny. Even like, may the force be with you. That's right. I'm excited.

None of us really went textbook. I came here to do two things. Kick ass and chew bubble gum. Looks like I'm all out of bubble gum. Oh, yeah. You got a joint, man? Be a lot cooler if you do. two things. Kick ass and chew bubblegum. Looks like I'm all out of bubblegum. You got a joint, man? Be a lot cooler if you did. Oh, yeah. I completely forgot about that.

Excellent quotes on the board. Excellent draft by everybody. Tweet them at us. Tweet them at us. Shout out to the subreddit. We saw your draft. We loved it. I commented and then forgot to check in again, but we fucking love it. Shout out to everyone on Twitter. shout out to everyone on Twitter shout out to everyone on Instagram we love you we love to hear your

draft send those at us and more importantly tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything Sha-clackity Oh! That was a HeadGum Podcast.