All Fantasy Everything - Movie Titles as Nicknames (w/ Katie Nolan)
Episode Date: November 14, 2024AKA flicknames.Guest:Katie Nolan (IG @natiekolan, X @katienolan)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-roll...s.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. time only.
This is all fantasy everything, the podcast of fantasy drafts, anything and everything
from the world of pop culture,
coming to you live from Shane Torres' apartment.
On this episode, we are fantasy drafting
movies as nicknames.
Yeah.
Did your voice just crack?
Yeah, it did.
Yeah, it did.
I'm all over the place.
I don't know what's going on with me.
Second father hit puberty, all right. That's right. I'm all over the place. I don't know what's going on with me. Second father hit puberty, all right.
That's right.
I'm going through changes.
I wanna have an even deeper voice to raise my child.
I know.
It is the second installment of November.
David Bori is out there on the road,
coming to us from New York City.
We're a half New York podcast today.
Yeah.
Look at this.
Shout out. Splitting the coasts. Look at this. Shout out. Split in the coast.
Welcome to it.
The Patreons.
Patreons.
The New England Patreons.
Thanks for the suggestion.
This was a couple months ago,
this was like a second place Patreon choice
for the options that we put out.
And it's a dope, dope concept.
Tricky though.
Very tricky. I don't know if it is tricky. I it's a dope, dope concept. Tricky though.
Very tricky.
I don't know if it is tricky.
I thought it was right down the pipe.
It's tricky because, I know,
but it almost feels like you don't wanna
pick one that's like a character name
because that's just like a cop out.
Because then you're like, well, it's just the name of a,
so it's, I don't know, it's tough.
I found it.
I see what you're saying.
Like if we were doing TV shows and I picked Seinfeld,
there's too strong of a connotation of Seinfeld.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That makes sense.
You look like you're dishing right now.
That's how I would lay if I was dishing with somebody.
I like it.
Girl, listen up.
Can we talk?
Can we talk?
We got tea to spill.
I realized I just wanted to be comfortable
because you guys don't use the video on this anyway, so.
Boy, you look great.
You look comfy.
You have a telescope.
I like that.
Doesn't work.
My wife.
Always a great way to start it.
OK, my wife, she bought.
So like the office chair, she's a I mean, she's pregnant right now, but she is a
I'm a I'm a large man and she is a petite woman.
And she bought the office chair for aesthetics. And I'm a I'm a large man and she is a petite woman and she bought the office chair for aesthetics
It's comfortable for her but for me it feels like a very precarious situation always
It's pink. It looks very cool. It looks like a salon in Paris. It's a beautiful chair
I've never once been comfortable recording this bike. This is the one that you're recording in right now. Can we get it?
Can we get eyes on it? Yeah?
Let's see the design of it. I never thought about it. Oh
Very pretty but my god
It's a wafer yeah
It's pink and brass it's I don't think it was lit, so don't judge my wife's taste based on that image.
No, we're judging.
Yeah, so I am very envious
of your very comfortable recording situation.
That is the thinnest chair I've ever sat on in my life.
You're too much dip on that chip.
That's crazy.
Way too much.
It is not a load bearing chair.
Can you lean forward or backwards?
No, I'm locked.
I'm rigid.
You're so mean.
Like a Victorian school child in this way.
Good posture though.
Oh yeah.
I'll need it. I'll need it to go fight in the Boar War.
Just based on this chair I'm sitting in.
How did the conversations go about decorating?
I've talked to Laura about it.
I get shut down a lot and sometimes it's too quick for me.
Well yeah, because you want a goddamn Mountain Dew cut out.
That's right.
And I've told her, I'm like, if you're gonna shut me down,
don't do it immediately.
Like, let me entertain.
Because you can't have a ravioli drawer
or whatever weird shit you're trying to fucking ask her to do.
I tried, I lobbied for so many skateboards on the walls. We I got three I should be happy about it
There's that's a lot of skateboards. No, they're pretty it's it's the flowers. Have I never shown you guys?
I've been to your house. Yeah, they look a lot of pictures on the wall. That's a lot
Shane yeah, he's going up. No all of you do I mean not
Oh, that's a rap song I made Shane's got a picture of me next to his bed.
Look at that Ian, you see that?
Funny over everything up there?
That framed?
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, hold on, let me see if I can show.
Look at my walls full of decoration.
Okay.
Your computer moves so nice.
Catey, full porpoise wall.
I thought of you because I was in a field in New Hampshire
with a bunch of guys with telescopes.
I was like, I bet this is what Catey's uncles sound like.
And they were just like, ah, look at that, that's Jupiter.
It was really, really weird.
It was a fun time though.
He was like, I took this picture.
And then he was showing me pictures that he took of space.
And he's like, that's my daughter, she's a nun.
And I was like, what the fuck?
And then he just went to a solar flare.
It was weird.
It, we were in New Hampshire, Greggy's wedding,
I don't know, 10 years ago or whatever,
but there were these two older gay dudes,
and it was right next to an apple orchard.
And I was like, is that an apple orchard?
And this guy walks up with way too many buttons, undone,
and he's just like, yeah, that's an apple orchard over there. It was great.
Yeah, that's an orchard, it's the backyard.
People will struggle to find why it was pertinent
that he was gay in that story, but I assure you.
I wish I could give you the feeling of terror
that just went through my body
That was your second one to
Crap going on today Sean Oh crap
More when I was saying it it didn't
If you would have been talking to him it would have been a little me like the way gay guys read each other Is that what that would have been apt?
Welcome to all fantasy everything
You can't what are you doing now? Now you're lashing out?
You're lashing out?
No, I thought we wanted to start the show.
Welcome to another brand new show.
Oh don't, oh don't you.
We started the show.
Don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when you say that.
No.
You want me baby?
Don't you want me? Oh
Karaoke I would love a karaoke night and I don't think I'm gonna have one for a little while here
I'm gonna watch that video on the plane. Yeah
That which one of us doing karaoke that video. No, but don't you want because they have that perspective shot?
That was the famous thing about that music video
When he's singing and then she's like I was working as a waitress and a cocktail bar
I didn't know that much is true. Yeah, it's like a famous shot. I know if I've ever even I'm gonna watch it right after this podcast
I'm gonna watch this podcast as well who sings that even
Humanly great. No, yeah, I think you
think it's human like Sean human like I I'm sure you'll be right after this podcast as well. Who sings that even? Human League, right? No. Yeah, I think Human League. Is it Human League?
I think it's Human League.
Sean, Human League?
I have no idea.
Is this gay guy?
Yeah, it's this gay, straight.
I really care what the name is.
How's he sound?
That guy sitting there, a little more muted
than he was a second ago, and he shouldn't be,
because I've heard you tell that story before,
and it does sound like he was a bit of a Harvey Fierstein type,
but with like a New Hampshire accent.
That's where you're getting that, right?
And he was gay, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sean is Jordan on Twitter, Sean Cougar Jordan on Instagram.
Sean, double and down Jordan on this podcast right now.
I deleted Twitter, I did it.
Did you really?
Whoa! That's gone. I didn't close it, I just took it off my phone
because it was just.
Bad move dude.
It doesn't work anymore.
It's not the same app it used to be.
It's all bots now.
Their applies to everything are just bots
rephrasing the original tweet.
Yeah, it is.
Can I tell you guys something funny?
Shayne is calling me. In the chat, I'm like, just bots rephrasing the original tweet. Yeah, it is, it is. It's like training AI.
Shane is calling me.
Yeah.
In his house.
I got locked in the garden, Bubba.
Can you let me in?
Raleigh, North Carolina.
I think next weekend.
Yeah, this comes out Thursday.
So next weekend, I will be there at Good Night's Comedy Club,
Friday and Saturday.
Come on out.
I'm excited.
I've never been. I'm gonna go to the Bull Durham Bar.
I cannot wait.
And yeah.
Dude, it's like right down the street,
the bar where they met and like through the, you know.
I'm so excited, I can't wait.
That club, that whole area is really pretty.
That's one of the few clubs I've been to,
I like that club.
Yeah, it's a good time.
Yeah, they seem, I mean, I've heard amazing things,
so I'm excited.
And then December 22nd, I have a show at Portland, in Portland come to that. I'll be it'll be fun
And that's another club. I've been to these are the only clubs. I've been I saw you there
I came in the green room right I was lurking did
Lurking you were invited you came on in
It's an odd feeling when you're not on the show and you're in the guy I have a tough time with it when I'm just I
Feel like I'm taking up space.
I don't really do it.
Hey, welcome to my life.
Anytime I go anywhere, I'm like,
sorry, just the girlfriend.
Can I sit here?
Yeah.
I'm sorry I exist.
I always feel bad when I'm sitting in the comfy seating
and the comics are like standing
or sitting on something else.
I always get up and I'm like, you may have the couch.
It is not for me.
No.
Don't feel bad.
That's the most athletic thing they did all that day.
Yeah, that's it.
They could use the steps.
Standing and riffing was really the highlight of their day.
Yeah.
They were in the Uber on the way home like,
oh man, I think Soda really liked my pizza guy impression.
Yeah.
Yeah.
David Morey is here, CoolGuideJokes87 on Instagram.
Great pizza guy impression.
Great pizza guy.
I'm not gonna give it to you guys,
because you don't, but you know, I got it.
Just know I got it.
That ain't free.
The game is to be sold, not to be told.
Exactly.
You guys wanna come see me.
On November 20th, I'm going to be at Hel in Philly and then November 22nd and 23rd.
I'm going to be at sports drink in New Orleans and then December 5th or
December 6th and 7th, I'm going to be at cap city in Austin.
So come watch me do stand up.
It's gotten to, I like where the act is at right now.
Besides all the dead guy stuff, it's pretty good.
Sorry, Sunnyvale, I was going through some shit.
You are, I love how honest your reports
about your stand up are.
You're like, cause a month or two ago,
you were like, come see me.
I don't know.
It wasn't, I didn't know It's like it's got boat there's like a skeleton of us of a real set right now because people always you know
How it is comedians are always like I just murdered the stress factory
It's like kiss my ass no you didn You did media, you had one punch,
cause that's how, and I'm not doing any old stuff,
so that's why it's like really tough right now.
Well, I saw you in Portland right after you recorded,
you were, and you did, you're like,
I'm not doing any old stuff, and you did an hour.
It was pretty goddamn good.
I did, I did, of all new stuff.
I just love that you're like, Cleveland, the heart is there.
I'm going up on stage with heart right now.
Come on! That's what it is.
You gotta be open about what this process is.
Like, listen, it's the guy, to the people who come see me next November, what an hour.
Watch out. Watch out.
Right now, thank you for getting in on the ground floor.
I appreciate it. There's some good stuff and there's some bad stuff.
And like I said, Sunnyvale, there was some dead guy stuff.
If I had seen you and then I saw you do this,
I'd go, oh, okay, I agree.
And now I know he knows,
he didn't think that was his best stuff.
And now I know that when he's ready,
that shit's gonna hit.
Yeah, that's true.
And just know that I'm fucking trying.
I'm trying really hard. I have the guts to bomb. It's like when you. Yeah, that's true. And just know that I'm fucking trying. I'm trying really hard.
I have the guts to bomb.
It's like when you hear Arnold Schwarzenegger
talk about lifting and he's like,
some guys don't have the guts to pass out in the gym.
That's me, I'll pass out in the gym.
I don't give a shit.
I'll pee all over myself during this rep
because I'm trying to get it ready for Mr. Olympia.
I lost the thread.
No, it was there.
I lost it. No, it was there.
I lost it.
No, it was there.
I mean, I'm gonna pulverize at good night.
So if you wanna go to the theater, come see that.
Hey, Sean's eviscerate the audience.
Sean's about to food process all of North Carolina.
You're getting julienned.
I'm gonna do an immersion blender.
He doesn't even have a microphone.
Yeah.
Is an emulsifier a thing that you cook with
to destroy stuff?
Did I do all kinds of shit?
I do all kinds of shit.
Katie Nolan is here. It is the second week of November. The people were thrilled.
We didn't tell them it was coming. The people were thrilled.
Katie Nolan on Twitter, NadyColin on Instagram.
Podcast coming. Podcast Instagram. Podcast coming.
Podcast coming.
Podcast coming.
Q1, podcast coming, Q1.
I also, I owe Sean an apology.
Apparently you can say a myriad of ways.
Apparently that's now accepted.
And I have to let go of how language was originally.
Is that what you should do or you can do?
Well, originally it was intended to be myriad ways,
but now language evolves and it's silly to be attached to the old rules.
Now you can say that if that's what you want according to Miriam and Webby.
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die.
Exactly.
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die.
That is a great airplane movie.
I got the overnight from LA or New York to LA.
I'm gonna get in and I'm gonna eat some shrimp scampi
and I'm gonna cry.
A Star is Born.
Your movie, it was made for you.
Too close, dude, the first time I watched it.
It's too close.
It's my dad, I swear to God that was my dad. I mean the way he Dude, the first time I watched it, It's too close.
It's my dad, I swear to God that was my dad.
I mean, the way he acts, I was watching it with Zach.
You know how Zach is a lunatic and he looked,
I mean, anyway.
I was like, oh man, I don't know.
I don't know if I can watch this again.
So I only watched it like once.
Sorry to be a bummer.
Did you guys kiss yourself at an award show?
Yeah, my dad was a very, very famous rock star.
His dad is any man wants to be.
Also, his dad hooked up with Lady Gaga, which is crazy.
Damn.
Your baby Gaga?
Ha ha!
My baby.
Ha ha ha.
And that would make Max baby goo goo.
Baby goo goo?
Eh goo goo!
Eh goo goo!
Oh, I know.
That still might be my top internet video.
Dude.
That's such a, hey, Google.
I saw it.
It's nice to meet you.
You have to say, hey, Google.
Google.
Hey, Google.
It's nice to meet you.
She just looks like it's a goat.
I mean, it's crazy.
Like it's a ghost.
Yeah, she was born like before Mussolini was in power.
She was like an adult when that happened.
Of course.
It's crazy.
So awesome. It just looks like it's a ghost. I mean, it's crazy. Like it's a ghost. Yeah, she was born like before Mussolini was empowered.
She was like an adult when that happened.
Of course. It's crazy.
Anything else you'd like to point people towards, Katie?
May know. Just this. I'll be back here next week.
For another Rawlicking.
Game of Rock Paper Scissors.
My name is Ian Carmel.
I will be home for a while.
Yeah. I will be home for a while.
Yeah.
Yeah, I bet.
I texted Ian yesterday, I was like,
I can't wait to talk to you about how there's no other,
I'm the only adult that knows how to have a kid in public.
I'm the only one right now.
Ian will be the second.
People don't know how to operate.
Yeah, what you were talking about there,
just letting their kids run around
and smack into each other?
The adults will sit and lock into their phone
and I'm sitting there like,
this is gonna, I'm gonna sound like a prick.
Is this like you're the only good driver in your head?
Is this like one of those things?
I am the only good driver.
That's not in my head.
I'm glad you brought that up.
Yeah, I had to, this guy, he eats a lot of
I'm the only one, which is notoriously not dangerous thinking.
When I'm not talking to you guys, I always,
I get out of the car and I'm like, I am him.
I say that to people a lot.
So the kids are saying.
We gotta get you that T-shirt.
Yeah. I'm that guy.
I'm that guy.
I saw a lady at the airport the other day
with her kid on a leash and was looking at her phone.
Great idea, I honestly.
But she was looking at her phone.
But she was looking at her phone the whole time.
And she was honestly using the leash the way she would, like I would with a dog.
But I'm like, I can't communicate with my dog.
That's a dog.
You can communicate with your child.
You can be like, get over it.
Like my mom was, you know, my parents are maybe a little more physical than you're allowed
to be now.
But she would have been like, get your ass over.
If I was acting the way that kid was,
I would have been in big trouble
and I would have been very scared.
But this kid was just like pulling the leash
and the mom just acted annoyed with it.
Like, oh, I gotta go this way.
It's like Dr. Giles.
Oh, now I gotta clean up the poop.
Yeah.
It's shit on the floor.
It's shitting in the middle of the terminal.
In an airport too, where people are like rushing all over the place
and it'd be best not to have a taut wire around shin level.
It was like, it was spiraled like a phone cord.
It was like, jeez Louise, this is crazy.
I'm pro-leash, but you have to be pro-attention
if you're gonna be on that leash, right?
I get the leash for the like, don't get away from me purposes.
We're on our phones, like you're gonna be on your phone sometimes,
but to be locked in, staring at Instagram, whatever,
that's crazy.
Fan duel.
I assume everybody's on fan duel now.
I assume everybody's on fan duel now.
Yeah, they're getting that three game,
first to score a touchdown parlay.
It's an upper code Sean Jordan.
I can't honk the horn anymore, it scares Max.
So I really, I've really done like a heel turn. How much were you honk the horn anymore. It scares max. So I really I've really
Enough and then
Like do you use your horn every time you drive I this fucking guy so I was going down
Team like top 1% of all
I was going to residential sleep. Because that does not stream like top 1%
of all unpaid drivers in the world.
I let people know.
I let people know when they're in the room.
I don't do it anymore.
I can't, she gets scared and so nothing comes out.
It's all, I gotta be like, whoa, Max,
nobody knows how to drive.
I just say it like it's funny all the time.
Beep beep, you just say it with your mouth.
I can't do it.
Honk honk.
Honk, yelling. Likek! Yell it.
Like a goose.
You just need to get like a whimsical car horn.
You need to get like a,
You need like a clown horn.
Do do do do do do do do do.
Yeah, that's a fun one.
That's a big long song.
That would be fun.
Good options.
Do do do do do do do do do do do do.
That'd be a good time.
Why not, dude?
Come on.
Foster a love of Mexican culture in Maxine
when you get road
We're gathering here today not to I truly have nothing to promote by t-shirt swim club
Not to suggest ways for Sean to channel his frustration with the 99%, but to fantasy draft movies as nicknames.
Yeah. Again, a suggestion from our Patreon, a wonderful one.
Good one.
The way we determine the order of this draft
is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors,
as Katie foreshadowed moments ago.
We throw a shoot, here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, as Katie foreshadowed moments ago. We throw and shoot, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh, scissors, a win.
A natural victory.
Scissors against two paper, Sean Jordan is the winner.
As the winner, it is coming upon you
to determine the order of this fantasy draft,
but before you do that, I will remind you.
It is a serpentine draft.
And what is that? That's a great question.
It's like that dog walking up the stairs
on the internet that's going viral right now.
Boom, done.
Quick.
I didn't see that.
I didn't see that.
Could you get into that in a little more detail?
We have different algos.
No, they're like a hundred people sent it to me.
There's a dog, like a wiener dog,
just walking up the stairs
and it just walks all the way across one.
A hundred people sent it to you?
Maybe more. Yeah, why? Oh, because it's like a snake draft. Because of the serpentine thing across one. 100 people send it to you? Maybe more.
Yeah, why?
Oh, because it's like a snake raft.
Because of the serpentine thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It is pretty cute.
It just walks across the stairs,
then goes up and then walks back and then up.
It's very adorable.
I love that that to you means it goes viral.
Like multiple people send it to me.
I saw it. So it's going viral.
It had to be.
I'm looking at my algo right now.
Oh, I got a tick removal?
I don't like that.
Get that out of here. I've not seen a wiener dot. I'm looking at my algo right now. Oh, I got a tick removal? I don't like that. Get that out of here.
I have not seen a wiener dot.
I guess mine's different.
Tick removal?
Yeah, I don't like that.
I just wanna look at my algo.
Rhythm.
Algo rhythm.
Sean, it basically means if you pick fourth
in the first round, you pick first in the second round,
what would the order of today's draft be?
I'm gonna go first.
Sean's first.
Yes he is.
Katie David Ian.
Katie. Okay.
David Ian.
Hot corner. Hot corner.
Sean, you were saying that you have a big number one bet.
You said perfect.
Yeah. Whoa.
Excited.
I'm excited to see what that means.
I hope it's ugly Casanova. Well, now the build up.
What are you doing, buddy?
Now the, sorry, my cats. I hope the build up isn'tva. What are you doing, Betty? Sorry, my cats.
I hope you build up to them too much.
Yeah, yeah, wife's out of town,
got the office door open, so.
She's home alone.
That's why I'm swearing all loud.
She's in Florida.
Pop is home alone watching Induraj all loud.
What did you want to yell the other day
when her parents were in the living room?
Outourage.
Don't yell it now.
I'm in an outourage clinic. Smells a. I'm yelling now. I'm in an Out to a clinic.
Smells like Out to a patient clinic.
It smells more like Out to a.
Sean, you have the first pick.
We're gonna get to that first pick right after
this short break.
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Now, we're in an interesting time right now.
And you know, with November, the holidays coming up,
we wanna be as much about gratitude as we can.
And so, like I said, we're taking,
we're gonna do every week,
we're just gonna shout out Katie Nolan.
She's been with us through November now,
going on what, two, three years, and it's great.
It's so fun.
This episode in particular was one of the most fun times
I've had in a while, and I think we all needed it
for one reason or another.
And also, you know, right now you have to do a lot
of personal reflection and thank yourself.
Treat yourself well.
A lot of mental health situations going on right now,
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It could be anything, it could be your kids,
could be maybe your breaks went out the other day,
and you just want to vent to someone
who's, you know, not living with you.
That's what therapy is there for.
It's just designed to help you learn positive coping skills,
how to set boundaries, all that stuff.
You want to empower yourself.
That's what therapy is there to do.
And you just want to be the best version of yourself.
As corny as that sounds, it doesn't make it any less true.
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Get in there, give it a shot.
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Welcome back to All Fantasy.
I mean, the only podcast that has ever existed,
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Good.
Pew, pew, pew.
It's about me, because I have a podcast and it's coming.
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More details forthcoming.
Sean Jordan, you have the first pick in the movies
as nicknames, Fantasy Draft.
Yeah, I hope I didn't build it up.
When did I say I had the perfect pick?
I like it, but I'm,
I feel like I built it up too much.
Like in text last night?
It was a separate text.
It was the AFE text thread where we were figuring out
once and for all when we were doing this,
so we didn't have to keep texting you.
And this, let me just say, in our group all when we were doing this. So we didn't have to keep texting you.
In our group chat, we're having this conversation
and then all of a sudden I get a text in the group chat
that's like, hey, by the way, Katie,
opposite of what we said before, this is happening.
And that's when I knew there's a different group chat
that I'm not a part of.
I'm gonna spice up our group chat.
Happily add you to the everyday AFE group chat,
but you're in that all year then.
If you wanna be in that all year, that's fine.
No, that's okay.
No, you're in.
I understand, no I understand.
It just immediately felt like,
oh they're talking shit over there.
They're just over there talking shit.
Yeah, but not about you.
Talking shit about Shane.
That's fine then.
Oh, fine.
Whose apartment David's in.
Maybe a little bit about Isaac.
I'm up in it, I'm up in it.
First pick. Hold on.
Yeah, I just spiced up in it. First pick.
Yeah, I just spiced up our group chat. Tight.
What did you put in there?
My cat's vagina.
Oh, it's weirder because they didn't hear.
Ah, that's funny.
They did spice it up.
Oh no, Ian put Luke Wilson in there.
Sean Jordan, it's time for your first pick.
Movies as nicknames.
You built it up quite a bit. Yeah, I didn't mean to, but I mean if it's perfect there. Sean Jordan, it's time for your first pick. Movies as nicknames. You built it up quite a bit.
Yeah, I didn't mean to, but I mean,
if it's perfect for me, Uncle Buck.
Oh!
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, I couldn't, it couldn't be more,
I mean, I say, obviously I say Buck all the time.
I got big uncle energy, I just, it's a dope.
It's just a dope nickname.
And talking to Adam last night,
and he was telling me that we may have tried
to give this nickname to someone back in the day,
and it didn't stick.
So I think subconsciously, I've always wanted this
to be a nickname for someone.
You sort of can't have a plan
to give someone a nickname in that way.
I know.
I think he was saying,
we think we try to force it on someone,
and it might be Dad, who his nickname is Dad,
which is a danker nickname anyways. That Uncle danker nickname anyways that is better than Uncle Buck. Have I ever told you why we
call dad dad? No why do you call dad dad? Is he your father? He taught you how to
hit a baseball. He would so on road trips at gas stations he would he was the only
friend who'd check in on people be like you guys need water or anything and
everyone's like whatever dad and like 25 years later his name's still dad
So kindness. Yeah
Friendship yeah
Way only a father. Yeah, I don't want any water you mark. I don't need water
Give me a Snickers in a Mountain Dew. Does he have kids now has you become a dad? Is he fulfilled the prophecy?
He has yeah, yeah
Once you you are a father,
you have one sibling.
Allegedly.
Allegedly a father.
You are the rat,
but either way you're raising this child.
I killed that rat.
Why'd you take your rig off when you said that?
I'm getting a little nervous.
Once you become a dad,
does that preclude you from uncle energy
or can you still have uncle energy as a father?
Well, I think it makes me, it's, so,
I am more of an uncle now than before having a kid
because now when it's not my kids,
I get to, I don't know, I just get, it's just different.
Uncle energy is dad energy.
I feel like it supersedes, like.
They're very close to each other,
but uncle is a little less responsibility.
It's just someone else's dad. Yeah other, but uncle is a little less responsibility.
It's just someone else's dad.
Yeah, uncle is someone else's dad.
It's like a dad, but he's not your dad.
So it's like not all the rules apply.
He can be cool in ways that your dad can't,
because your dad's your dad.
It's like a vice dad.
You know, Maxine, she called me uncle dad the other day.
Maxine did.
That was pretty cool.
Your daughter?
She called you Uncle Dad?
Yeah.
That's great.
Oh no, that feels like a-
That's the difference with movie titles,
is what that is.
It's the opposite.
Yeah.
Uncle Dad feels like a compromise
that a struggling single mother reaches with her kids.
Now this is your Uncle Dad, okay?
For all intents and purposes, he's your dad,
but if anyone asks, he's your uncle. He's Uncle dad, okay? For all intents and purposes, he's your dad, but if anyone asks, he's your uncle.
He's uncle dad, okay?
It also feels like a transitionary stepdad period.
Yeah.
Yeah, all right, you're uncle dad for a while.
I'm not Rick anymore, but I'm uncle dad for now.
Until the health insurance kicks in, you're uncle dad.
You get that one at middle school graduation.
It's not till high school that you get the thanks dad
Thanks uncle day
through eighth grade English
And then after college he's like I'm fucking your mom
John Candy vehicle?
Oh yeah, dude.
I mean, you've all seen Uncle Buck.
Some could say the best one.
I think Great Outdoors is gonna be the best one.
I'm a big Uncle Buck guy over Great Outdoors.
It's good when he like, Rodent is it?
When he shows up with the power drill.
It's just so.
Moving that cigar.
Yeah.
He makes giant pancakes.
He's awesome.
With the shovel. Yeah, that makes giant pancakes. He's awesome. With the shovel.
Yeah, that guy's great.
Excellent. And you are Buck. Katie Nolan.
Nice job, Uncle Buck.
Oh, my turn.
Oh, no.
Yes.
What?
Start calling me Uncle Buck.
It's happening.
I will.
You're doing it strong.
At least until the next round.
For my pick, I'll take Jaws.
Oh, okay.
Well, we had a lunch lady.
A lunch lady named Jaws?
Yeah, in my high school.
Why?
She all gone like this.
I was gonna say, she was not,
oh, she was kerning, she was coked out?
I mean, I think in hindsight,
I think it might've been a methamphetamine situation.
It was a sadder story than I remember,
but we called her Jaws,
because you aren't freed up by her.
I don't think we grasped,
we didn't grasp how sad a lunch lady could be
when we were that age.
Yeah, it's a complicated position.
No, because somebody, they're slopping you mashed potatoes.
How could they be sad?
They live in a world of gravy. They were like aunt mom. They were. Yeah, it's a complicated position. No, because somebody's, they're slopping you mashed potatoes. How could they be sad? They live in a world of gravy.
They were like aunt mom.
They were, uh, yeah, they were aunt mom.
Aunt mommy at school feeding you.
Aunt mom.
No, but Jaws, I feel like it could be like you talk a lot,
you're always yapping, Jaws.
Yeah, Jaws. Maybe, maybe
it's because you bite. That's one way to take it.
Maybe you're a biter. Maybe it's because you can unhook
that thing and really,
you know, it could be a number of.
Create room.
To be called Jaws.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can eat a big sandwich, you know?
Room in mouth.
Jaws.
I can think of two Jaws in one of the James Bond movies,
one of the bad guys is named Jaws,
because he has like big crazy metal teeth, right?
Uh-huh. Mm-hmm
And then there's ron jaworski
Oh the skateboarder the football guy another job. I was thinking about the skateboarder. He was talking about erin homoki
That guy's name is jaws, too
Why why is there an homoki jaws? I don't actually know. I mean, there's some story. I don't know. He does huge things
so, I don't know if it's like jaws because he like eats up gaps, I don't know.
On a skateboard, anyway.
You got yourself on that one.
I did.
Yeah, that was good.
I'm a dirty little guy.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, when you say gaps, you mean.
Not, that's the only time I've ever said it like that,
but yeah, like Nate Dogg, like Nate Dogg said it.
You mean like the picture of the hairless cap
that David has in his phone when you say gaps.
That's what you mean.
Was that during the break that we talked about that?
Yeah, they don't know anything about it.
Oh!
Oh!
I don't think they need to know more than that.
I actually think that's a good amount to know.
Should we preserve the mystery?
Yeah, don't let them know.
All right, perfect. Not everything's for sale.
Yeah, Jaws is dope.
That was definitely on the top five.
Arr, arr, arr, arr, arr, arr.
Jaws is a good nickname.
It's also quick.
It's plosive.
It's plosive?
That's not the word I'm thinking of.
It's puncture.
It's just a bam, bam.
It's got like a Jaws.
I was thinking about like,
do I want this person to show up?
Like if I'm at a party, someone's like, hey, Jaws is coming over. I'd be like, sure. That sounds dope. Do you want Jaws. A lot of this, I was thinking about like, do I want this person to show up? Like if I'm at a party, someone's like,
hey Jaws is coming over, I'd be like sure, that sounds dope.
Do you want Jaws?
Yeah, yeah you want Jaws.
I don't know, I think I'd leave.
I think I'd go, let me get out of here before he sees me.
Right.
I like to get it sometimes.
I think it'd be fun to have an X Factor like Jaws come over
to the apartment.
I mean X Factor's a good name too.
It's a tank, yeah.
David Boyd, time for your first pick.
Speaking of James Bond, this is the first one
that came in my head, it's long but I think it could work.
I'm taking Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Whoa!
Okay.
I would wanna know how, I would really want the story
on how they got that nickname, it'd be fun.
I mean, I think there's two ways
They kiss some get someone in shot someone there's a couple of things they could do
KKBB it sounds like something
And that's why I said it that way kiss kiss bang bang because I feel like that sounds like a nickname of somebody
I've known like I was a kiss kiss bang bangs house and blah Blah blah, it just sounds real. It's very funny. And then when I looked it up, I didn't know you know
It the Japanese press coined that term. It's how they describe James Bond movies
Kiss-kiss bang bang. That's what it is. It's a lot of kissing and a lot of shooting
Yeah, who doesn't want to be like James?
It's just, it's a good nickname.
So if kiss, kiss, bang, bang,
this is a person of action and sexuality.
Who doesn't like that?
Yeah, yeah, it's like a real fun person too.
I think it's somebody you really like.
You're like, oh, we're going to kiss, kiss, bang, bang.
And it's gotta be somebody whose name is pretty long
if their nickname's gonna be a sentence.
Four words, yeah.
Their real name would have to be like Constantinople.
Reginald, yeah.
Yeah, Reginald Constantinople von Baxter Holmes.
Right, right, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Okay, KBB, yeah.
A long nickname too is fun to say.
KBB.
What do they call KBB?
It actually stands for Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
You would get it shortened to Kiss Kiss probably It actually stands for Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Kiki Baba.
You would get it shortened to Kiss Kiss probably.
Kiki Baba.
Kiki Baba.
Kiki Baba.
Kiki Baba.
Kiki Baba.
Hey, Goo Goo, Kiki Baba.
Hey, Kiki Baba.
I wouldn't mind calling someone Kiki Baba.
Kiki Baba is a lot of-
I don't know, when they go, where's that from?
Then you'd go, oh, it's Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,
which is actually what the Japanese,
how they would describe James Bond.
So it's actually very cool.
Or you're like, my uncle is Val Kilmer.
Yeah.
When you get a shorter nickname out of a nickname,
that's always fun too.
I love it when that happens.
And then it's an even shorter one.
A little name.
An exception.
A Nicholas name.
That's fun.
Cause you could even, you could become Kiki Baba through,
okay so Sean ordered a martini once,
so we started calling him James Bond.
And then we learned that Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
is what they call that in Japan.
So we started calling him Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
That was too long, we started calling him Kiki Baba.
That's exactly how it goes.
It doesn't end at Kiss Kiss Bang Bang ever.
No. But it's a great middle. It's never all of it. It's bang, bang ever. No. No.
But it's a great middle.
It's never all of it.
It's like a middle nickname.
It's a good stop.
Yes.
Yes.
I think it's, I thought about it.
I think it's pretty good.
Yeah.
Good pick.
Call me James Bond.
Nobody's calling you James.
Nobody's calling you James Bond.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I'll call you Kiki Baba though.
Yeah, Kiki Baba.
You're very little.
Nobody's calling you James.
You have very little in common with James Bond.
Very little. Also, you don't Nobody's calling you James Bond. You have very little in common with James Bond? Very little.
Also, you don't get James Bond if you get a name.
That's not how I'll call me, Joe Montana.
What the fuck are you talking about?
You can call me Joe Montana.
Nobody is calling anybody any of that stuff.
Maybe I've said this before.
You ever had one of those jobs where you do like two truths
and a lie at like an icebreaker?
Yeah.
So that was one of my, my lie would be
I'm a blood relative of Joe Montana.
That would always be the lie that I put in there.
And I don't think anyone ever got it.
As opposed to a spiritual relative of which you are.
I married into the Montana family.
No, no, no, I'm blood.
We were Dakotas, now we're Montanas.
Joe Dakota, yeah. You were Dakotas, now we're Montanas. Hahahaha.
Joe Dakota? Yeah.
All right, so.
Okay, Kiki Balboa.
My next one was spurned by Sean Jordan's confidence
in his pick, which is perfect for him,
but he said that and I started thinking,
okay, what would the perfect nickname be?
What is a clear number one overall talent?
And I arrived at this.
K-19 The Widowmaker.
You mean that Bon Jovi movie?
Bon Jovi movie.
K-19 The Widowmaker.
Yeah, that's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool one. K-19 The Widowmaker. Do you hear K-19?
That's pretty cool.
That's a pretty cool word.
My last name starts with a K.
I filmed the same Harrison Ford's career.
It is a boring, boring movie, unfortunately.
How the fate changed his career.
I feel like I fell asleep during it once.
It's impossibly dull.
It's not even really about anything all that exciting.
It's about like a submarine that had a lot of nuclear accidents. Yeah, that's notibly dull. It's not even really about anything all that exciting. It's about like a submarine that had
a lot of nuclear accidents.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not really the name.
What's the Widow?
Is it the name of it?
That's the ship?
The submarine is the Widowmaker?
That was its nickname.
Because like you assume, like, oh, the Widowmaker.
That means it sunk a bunch of other submarines.
No, it just killed a lot of the people who worked on it
because it had so many accidents.
That's tough.
It's kind of the worst widowmaker.
But most people haven't seen K-19, the Widowmaker.
That's true.
It sounds like a little kid saying the little maker.
The Widowmaker.
The Widowmaker.
The Widowmaker.
That's what mommies are.
Mommies are Widowmakers.
They make widowbabies.
That's the logic, you wanna take this.
Oh, widow makers.
Oh, widow makers.
They're widow makers.
They're widow makers.
I'm K-19.
That's perfect for you.
K-19.
Carmel.
I don't know what the 19 is.
Dude, I was born in 1984.
It's when you were 19 is when you got it.
Well, I got it then.
Yeah.
I'm the widow maker, dude.
You know what it is?
You went to a steakhouse, you beat the steak challenge.
The Widowmaker steak challenge when you were 19.
The Widowmaker, I was 19 years old.
Got your picture on the wall.
84 ounces of beef.
84 ounces of beef, gristle, and baked potato.
It's also kinda dark because to be a Widowmaker now,
you just have to die.
Yeah, no, yeah, I could. If I was a ghost, I could be K-19 a Widowmaker now, you just have to die. Yeah, no, yeah, I could.
If I was a ghost, I could be K-19 the Widowmaker
because I turned Damon into a widow.
Yeah, that's it too.
If Laura outlives me, which she surely will,
then I will be the Widowmaker.
Yeah.
I don't know, dude, some people are pickled.
You might be one of those like old British
aristocracy beauties. I don't know, dude.
I don't know, dude.
You said so. Hold on. I don't know dude. You said so. Hold on.
I don't know dude.
Hit the pause button.
If you make one widow, do you get to be the widow maker?
Yeah, I agree. I don't think that's fair.
I feel like you gotta make more than one.
You gotta kill a lot of husbands.
I'll kill a bunch of people before I go.
I'll drag a bunch down with me.
Where's the place a lot of husbands are? You to find us like a bench in a Nordstrom?
Buffalo Wild Wings, I think there's fewer husbands than you think of Buffalo Wild Wings
I think that might be a bias of yours. That's a boyfriend spot. Yeah for sure
Or a situationship
You know I made the decision probably two days ago
that I'm going there for lunch today.
How do you feel about that?
I love it.
You decided two days ago?
You planned B-Dub's two days in advance?
Yep.
I don't know why it's so funny.
If you planned it two days in advance, it becomes federal.
I'm gonna get it to go and watch the Penguin finale.
That's what I'm doing after this.
Oh, you're not dining in?
What did you get on Friday?
You were like on Monday?
I'm going to bring my laptop to B-dubs and watch the Penguin finale.
Why didn't you go on the weekend?
Get some fucking work done, Laura.
Because Maxine was...
Wait, you're going to watch it at Buffalo Wildlings on your laptop?
No, I'm kidding.
No, I'm going to bring it back here.
I didn't go this weekend because I had Maxine and she's not ready for that scene yet.
It's funny that you say had Maxine like you're-
I was babysitting my kid all weekend.
Like you're sweating custody.
Yeah, it was my weekend.
You know, I had the baby.
Yeah, it was-
Anyway, yeah.
You don't think Maxine's ready to be in a Buffalo Wild Wings?
What is it about? Are you afraid of what- I'm not ready to go. I don't think Maxine's ready to be in a Buffalo Wild Wings. What is it about? Are you afraid?
Because that's when you get turned on for the first time for real
I will say your first core memory is like meeting your parents the first time you step into a beat-ups
Yeah, that's what I came online
Mango habanero.
None of this is real food.
Pens oil makes a malt liquor?
What's going on here?
All these eight ball jackets.
K-19 The Widowmaker is my first pick.
Great pick. Good pick.
That's a good one.
Bad movie. Good pick.
Yes and yes. I don't know. I've a good one. Thank you. Bad movie, good pick. Yes and yes.
I don't know, I've never seen it.
I just felt like saying that.
It's pretty boring.
It's not what you want.
When you hear a movie's called K-19 The Widowmaker
and it's about submarines, you're like, ho ho, buckle up.
Whoa.
Yeah, unfortunately.
Save yourself, watch.
Submarines are tough to make exciting.
It's like a lot more exciting in theory.
You know what I mean?
The hunt for Red October Submarine is in,
it's on the Willamette River,
and I was in it with the general like last year.
Yeah. It's awesome.
It's one of the ones that I use.
All right, I'm gonna go ahead and drop my second pick here.
You can go ahead and call me the fifth element.
Yeah, dude, yeah, dude.
That's awesome.
Yeah. That's a good one.
Yeah. I like that. That's it. That's awesome. Yeah. That's a good one. That's it. I would want the element to come to the
party. For sure. These are all sports nicknames. If you're like if I'm rooting for Oregon and like
right whatever the season doesn't end the way we want and I'm like oh man we lost the national
championship and then I get a text from a buddy, he's like, you know, they just recruited this defensive end.
His name's Jake, but everybody calls him the fifth element.
You're like, oh, okay.
Yeah, hell yeah.
I was playing pickup at 24 hour fitness,
and then this dude named the fifth element showed up.
He didn't take a single shot,
he played point guard the entire time.
It was him and Theo Ratliff.
They went crazy.
Yeah.
Because they played together.
They played together in college.
It's also, if you break it down, the fifth element
from the movie is love.
So at its core, it's a sweet nickname.
Oh, that's what that meant.
But it doesn't sound like it. I think so.
I didn't know that either. I didn't know that either.
I didn't know that.
I thought it meant Lili Dallas, multi pass.
I think it's love.
I think I'm not misconstruing that.
That's a great fucking movie.
No, that's a beautiful way for you to have taken it.
That was also my takeaway from The Matrix.
That was my takeaway from The Matrix,
and nobody else took that away from The Matrix,
so it's possible I was just in a place.
What do you mean, it was about love?
That The Matrix was love?
Yeah, well, no, not the Matrix itself,
but the thing that made Neo, Neo was,
that was, what's her name?
Is it Trinity, I don't know?
Trinity. Trinity, yeah.
Her believing in him is how he believed in himself
and became the one. I think,
if she didn't love him. I took that away
from that movie. Yeah.
Yeah, okay. I just felt like everybody else made I just Made everybody else Republican, so I don't know
We're different takeaways
I think I think that movie was about women can't control your mind, bro. That's right. Yeah
For me it was about long coats and original sunglasses. Yeah
They don't have the light they just just, pierced nez, pieced nez, pez nez, whatever.
97 to 04 was the worst era in sunglass history, I think.
Terrible.
To wear that stuff when you know you're gonna go fight,
I'm like, why would you want a huge leather trench coat on?
Or to think you're gonna wear those, like,
and have sex or, yeah, attract someone to you.
They're running back some of those sunglasses now,
by the way.
They suck.
I've seen it, they suck.
Those, it's the blades too, they're back in,
like the ultimate warrior sunglasses.
I just, it's crazy.
Somebody was doing a tunnel walk,
an NBA tunnel walk with those Oakleys
that go like back over the head.
Yeah, yeah.
Not around, but like back over, like a- And those weren't for anybody actually.
No, those were like theoretical.
That was like the MLB's turn ahead the clock uniforms.
Where they were like, in the future,
these sunglasses are gonna be like, no, no, no, no.
It wasn't you were actually supposed to,
it was for rap videos.
You weren't supposed to wear that.
Yeah.
It was for Missy Elliott to wear.
I was gonna say that was like wearing that suit,
that inflatable suit that you,
it's like that wasn't really fashion.
You weren't supposed to do that.
Right?
It was just for Hype Williams to capture on film.
Exactly.
And it's great.
It had its moment, I loved it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, leave it there.
Leave it.
The fifth element, dude.
Drop it.
The fifth element's good.
It's a good name.
Oh man.
David Bowie, time for your second pick.
That freaked me out. Yeah, it should freak you out. It's a good name. Oh, yeah, boy time for your second pick. That's
Yeah, I should freak you out everyone should feel a little unsettled now that they know the fifth elements on the podcast
Oh, this one is for the leader of the group. This is for the coolest guy
You know has the best parties all that stuff coolest gal, you know, you know what I mean?
point break
Okay, I'm going to point breaks house. It just sounds awesome You know what I mean? Point break. Oh, okay.
I'm going to point breaks house.
It just sounds awesome.
Ian left. I don't know.
He's going to go watch point breaks.
That was his breaking point.
I'm out. I thought I had one with the fifth element.
Then I just got dunked on one pick later.
No, no.
It just sounds like the coolest person, right? Yeah. I can't even explain it. I don't know. I don't know enough. It just sounds like the coolest person, right?
Yeah.
I can't even explain it.
I don't know why.
I don't even really know what it meant
in pertaining to the movie.
I think it's a surfing.
Isn't that a surfing reference?
Like the point break.
Oh, like where the surf was.
Oh, yeah.
I'll buy that.
I can't confirm it.
I'm just guessing.
I always assume that.
I'm guessing.
I don't know if they say it.
I thought it was like they went out and surfed at point break. I don't know, but I assume that. I'm guessing. Sounds. I don't know if they say it. Sounds cool as hell though.
I thought it was like they went out
and surfed at Point Break.
I don't know, but I guess that's probably not it.
It'd be a cool name for like a tennis player too.
Point Break.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'd be cool for anybody.
I think anybody would, it'd be cool for a truck driver.
It'd be cool for somebody who talks with their fingers out
all the time like this.
They just point at everything.
I'm just inventing dudes now,
but like the guy just points all the time.
Just inventing dudes.
It's a lot of- I feel like we got a lot of Catherine Bigelow movies.
Yeah, we've got two already.
She's the silent hand that guides this draft.
Yeah, K-19's Bigelow for sure.
Yeah, we're double Bigelowed up.
And there's other Bigelow movies that would work great.
Maybe we should have just drafted Catherine Bigelow movies. Sure. Yeah, we're double big alone up and there's other big alone movies that would work great
Maybe we should have just drafted Catherine Bigelow
Just accidentally I do have one of them on my list I don't think I would have taken k-19 the widow maker this early if we were just doing big alone big alone
But you know, she's 72
I
Did not yeah, I'm just looking up Catherine.
I have a second, I do have a second
Catherine Bigelow movie on my list.
I am, how do you spell Bigelow?
B-I-G-E-L-O-W.
Wait, wait, sound it out, sound it out.
How do you think?
B-I, oh, B-I, no, I was wrong.
You spelled it like Piccolo, but with the beat is
Big oh no, you don't know you don't know you don't I was I just I mean
I'm probably gonna have to change one of my couple of my pics here now that I'm looking at these movies. Oh
Yeah, I did I did more I did a lot of my list is so long. I probably have
so many good ones.
You can almost justify anything.
Yes, I was not discerning when making my list.
I basically tried to think of any movie
and once I did, I wrote it down.
You were like, well, that's one, that's one too.
That's one too.
I guess literally everything.
But Katie, it's time to find out what your second pick is.
Okay, with my second pick, I will take White Heat.
Okay, yeah, absolutely.
1949 heist film, White Heat.
I think it's a good, you know,
it's good for like that white basketball player
on your team, it's White Heat.
This was, this is Tyler Hero's nickname, right?
White Heat?
Yeah, but he gave it to himself.
Oh, was it?
I mean, that makes sense.
No, no, it's not, no, it's not, no, it'd be good.
I was riffing, I was doing a riff.
I liked it.
I'm sorry.
It was so believable.
Stick to the facts.
I was trying to bring some of my own White Heat
to that riff there and I went too hard.
I apologize.
Pat Riley would be White Heat.
I wonder if Buffalo Wild Wings has that white heat right now.
What would that be an Alfredo?
Like a spicy Alfredo chicken wing?
That would be great if they.
No!
Yes it would.
No, you're taking the wrong news.
Alfredo sauce, Buffalo wings?
Come on.
Here is a weird thing.
I do kind of feel like that would be good.
Okay.
I know it's fucked up.
If we really dig in, yeah.
I know chicken Alfredo is good.
I'm a truth teller, okay?
Yeah, it would be good.
I don't know.
Yeah, but it would congeal too easily.
It's not saucy enough, it's too thick.
I don't care if it's congealed.
It's thicker when it's congealed.
Sean's got a congealed weapons permit.
He's happy.
He's happy to go with me.
He's got congealed carry.
They call me Miss Congealiality
when I go into Buffalo Wild Wings.
Ha ha ha!
Yeah, he was on three seasons of the congeal world.
I don't know, that one was a stretch.
I read Max Jack and Congeal at night.
Ah!
No, I don't.
That didn't sound good at all, did it?
No, chill lifted.
He's the starting center back for Congeal Madrid.
I didn't get it until, yeah, Jack and Kenji was the worst.
It's a different book than I thought it was.
Jack and Kenji! Oh, no!
That happens if you're on K-19 The Widowmaker, by the way.
Jack and Kenji.
You're a long way from shore, baby.
Oh, God. Yikes. long way from shore, baby. Ugh.
Ugh. Oh, God.
Yikes. Yeah, Alfredo wings.
Alfredo's off-line. I'm in.
Got that white heat. So hot, it's white.
It's quite hot.
I bet you I could order it and they would
give me something at Buffalo Wild Wings. I don't know what it would be.
Yeah, I mean, I think that you could say
any color and temperature
and they got something
in the back.
Yeah.
Give me that purple madness.
All right.
It just punches you in the face.
They call someone, hey, no one's ordered this
since Kennedy was assassinated.
They gotta call back to Buffalo.
They gotta get corporate authorization
and give you purple madness.
You gotta sign a release.
Two guys gotta turn a key at the same time.
They gotta notify Fauci.
Yeah, Fauci's good.
Fauci's in on it, dude.
Zelensky, Zelensky has to give his sign off on it.
There's a lot of circles.
Goes all the way to the top.
I'll be there for a while so I'm not taking Max.
I don't want to have to sit through that.
White Heat is a great pick.
Yeah, dude.
I think we should maybe start calling you white heat Nolan
Yeah
Gonna be there. That's who's gonna be there. I'll take it. James Bond doesn't even sound cool.
It doesn't even sound cool.
It doesn't sound cool.
That sounds like a rapper.
Sounds dumb.
That sounds like, oh, a 12 year old
who got illegally emancipated from his parents
is gonna be there.
Okay.
Yeah.
James.
Call me James Bond.
James Bond.
James Bond Jordan, though. I still wanna keep my last name. Jimmy B. James Bond. James Bond Jordan though.
I still want to keep my last name.
Jamie B.
Jamie B.
There probably are people who are like James Bond, you know, Miguel Acadia or whatever.
Oh, for sure.
It must exist.
Shawn Michael Bond doesn't have a guy named James in his family.
Come on.
For sure he does.
Shawn Jordan.
Kiki Baba, it's time for your, even though that was David's pick, we're calling it you
because you tried to sneak?
Kiki baba second third picks oh
Man I had a feeling it's to be really funny. It I? Bad. I'm one of the kids.
Sean Jordan's out here like a Democratic senator hearing Amanda Gorman speak.
Risky business.
That's good.
Yeah. Great.
Because it doesn't sound scary. It's good. That's great. Yeah.
Because it doesn't sound scary.
It's like if Risky Business is coming over, like, yeah, all right.
I'm back in the industry.
It's risky, but it's a business.
It's risky, but it's a corporation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true.
Everything's above level.
It's calculated risk.
Yeah.
It's calculated risk.
That's a good nickname for the sequel.
Risky Business as a specific nickname is okay
But also it's like a designation if you're like, hey, my friend Sean's gonna come over like what's he like, huh?
It's kind of risky
It's not that kind of water, but I wouldn't think anything of that
I would I'd you know, he has enough coke for one person kind of you know what I mean?
It wouldn't be anything. Oh, yeah, that's a guy you want to invite to your house
One person, kind of. You know what I mean?
It wouldn't be anything to verify.
Oh yeah, that's a guy you want to invite to your house.
One guy doing Coke alone?
Come over and do Coke by yourself.
The only thing worse than a dude bringing Coke
for the whole party is a guy.
Hehehehehehe.
Just enough Coke for him.
Solo Coke is bad, dude.
That's not nice.
Come do Coke alone.
A guy who's willing to go to a party.
He's willing to go to the party
where he knows you guys don't have coke?
Well, that's no problem for Risky Business.
I got enough for me. They don't need to have coke. They just need to have a bathroom. Yeah
Risky Business shows up to the party. He's probably going to bring one extra person and that one extra person
might be a wild card. He might show up with a guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
God, that was always such a bummer when you would invite, that happened so many times,
you'd invite somebody who's already, you kind of are stoked they're going to be there.
But then they'd show, this dude showed up with a guy with a black eye one time and we're
like, what? Why'd you bring this other guy?
And the other guy didn't know anyone, he didn't talk.
He just sat there and I'm like, come on, man.
It's a guy with a name that's shortened
that you don't shorten.
Like they're like, this is my buddy Nando,
and you're like, wait.
Wait.
You know what, this is Teseber, and you're like,
this sucks, this sucks, this is bad.
This is ick.
This is Arami, and youick. This is air on me.
And you're like, that's not even a, that's not even one.
Got on, got on work boots.
A fannyl.
Yeah, fannyl.
My name?
There was an option.
He's like, fannyl, what's up?
Please. He's got a long head.
They call me, they call me Daniel. Yeah, risky business can't come, dude.
I'm sorry.
I'm Eve.
I guess that was his name.
Short for Steve.
Keith.
I'm Eve.
Risky business is great.
Your third pick, Sean.
This is a, this, I don't want this person coming to the party, but it's a dope nickname candy man
Yeah, do you not that's got he's got enough coke for everybody. I don't
Sure, it's the yeah
It's the opposite of risky business and candy man is what risky business turns into after they do a nickel or something
I think candy man says his own name too much. Yeah. Candyman. It's me baby, the Candyman. Candyman's running to the kitchen.
Anybody need anything?
Oh, you guys are taking like a lighthearted like, hey, the Candyman's going to the kitchen
like that?
No, no, this is a bad guy in my head.
Okay.
All right.
He just talks like that to try to trick you.
Yeah.
You ever met guys like that?
Yeah.
He's sleeping with your ass.
He's like, he talks about himself in the third person, but he uses his nickname
We say baby, you know the Candyman's got it. Yeah exactly
Walking into a Gucci store I
Do say that about myself to myself though in my head sometimes.
What David don't hurt him? Yeah. Candyman don't hurt him. David don't hurt him.
Give it to a candyman. It also makes me think what's that song there's a rap
song where they they say it right like where a girl's like candyman tell him
the truth and then he goes we'll still end up knocking the boots. You guys ever listen. Oh, I don't think so
Candyman tell him the truth knocking boots by Candyman
Song I'm thinking of is it now? No, it's a different one
It starts with attention all ladies.
The Candy Man is on the prowl.
Yep.
And for those that want to get busy,
you gots to speak up now.
Oh.
I'd like to get busy.
Over here, over here.
Over here, Candy Man.
I'd like to get busy, please.
In the back, Candy Man.
Candy Man, please.
Candy Man, come smoke it.
What Knockin' the Boots song do you think? Are you thinking of Body Rock and Knockin' the Boots? Body Rock and Knockin' the it. What Knockin' the Boots song are you thinking?
Are you thinking of Body Rockin' Knockin' the Boots?
Body Rockin' Knockin' the Boots.
Yeah, that's the one.
The lyrics to this song are very sexual.
To Knockin' the Boots?
To Knockin' the Boots. Candyman's Knockin' the Boots.
Oh, Candyman's.
Give us a little smattering.
What should I call myself? Candyman.
I know you're suffering. So sweet of Candyman, sweet nothings.
Hugging and tugging and rubbing.
Loving it all, having a ball.
All y'all girlies next to me talking sex to me.
We can't do that yet, but I bet we'll chill.
Candyman telling them the truth.
We'll still end up knocking the boots.
We can't do that yet?
We can't do that yet.
We will. Not here though.
Soon as you graduate
He is kind of sexy it's not a shit up that's not what it is
It's his girlfriend he's just being sexy. Yeah, sexy all the girls around me talking sex to me
That's if that don't describe my life. I want to know who was the person in the song who says Candyman, tell him the truth.
That's all I want to do on a song. You know what I mean? Yeah, be that guy in the other corner of the studio.
I like to think it was his lawyer.
Like, he finally got the all clear.
Like, you can tell him the truth, Candyman.
Candyman, let him know.
Go ahead, Candyman. Let him know. Talk to him.
He gets off the phone. Candyman, tell him the truth, Candyman. Candyman, let him know. Go ahead, Candyman. Let him know. Talk to him. He gets off the phone.
Candyman, tell him the truth!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Big cell phone.
Big blocky cell phone.
100%.
Snaps it close.
Snaps it with the tiny bottom.
Like the big cell phone that has the little tiny flip out
and goes click.
Little lip on the bottom.
One of the old star tacks.
Ahh.
Candyman. Good. Good stuff. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. so good. Yeah, that's awesome. There's a movie called Night Bitch. Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
White Heat, Night Bitch?
White Heat and Night Bitch.
Yo.
Yeah, dude.
They can't come, they come with the Candyman?
It's a wrap.
They hate each other.
That's their house.
You gotta leave.
I love a Night Bitch.
Oh, who doesn't?
Someone who's like, don't call me in the morning,
I'm a night bitch.
Yeah, I'm a night bitch.
Sean, what do you think the movie Night Bitch is about?
If you know nothing about it,
I think this will be interesting.
Cause do you, David and Katie,
do you know what Night Bitch is about?
I don't know, I'm gonna look it up right now.
I have, I have.
I know what it's about.
I couldn't even venture a guess
what Night Bitch would be about.
I think you could.
I actually think if you infer things from the title
You could come up with what it's about
Believe it or not. Oh based on a novel is it's
Then I definitely won't know it yet based on toilet paper is based on push by sapphire
Not really no no night bitch it's no, but this-T? No, it's not really. No, no, it's night bitch.
It's night time bitch.
It's crazy. What this is about?
Venture, venture.
Try for us.
Think Teen Wolf.
It's not like a, I mean, you gave it away if you did that.
It's a werewolf?
No.
Oh, is she a Dracula?
No, she's not a Dracula. No, she's not a Dracula.
No, she's not a Dracula.
Is she someone else at night? Does she change?
Does she kind of it like actually change into a different person at night?
Is she mean?
Does she mean or is she nice?
Does she mean at night?
It's actually about a lady with a drinking problem.
She's a real night bitch. She won't leave at a drinking problem. Yeah. She's a real night bitch.
She won't leave at 2 a.m. like everybody else.
She's a complete night bitch.
It's about a woman who pretends to be a dog at night.
I think she, doesn't she think she's becoming a dog at night?
Not in a million years would I have guessed that.
She pretends to be a dog or she turns into a dog at night?
She pretends, but I think she maybe thinks, right?
I read it. She acts like a dog. I don't know. I thought it was that she was turning into a dog, but. She pretends, but I think she maybe thinks, right?
I didn't read it.
She acts like a dog.
I don't know.
I thought it was that she was turning into a dog,
but I'm sure that's part of the reveal of the movie
is whether or not that's real.
I went to school, in elementary school,
this girl used to act like she was a cat at recess.
It was crazy.
Oh, that's a variation of a horse girl.
We had a lot of those girls
who would pretend they were horses, but a cat.
What is a horse girl?
Is that what that is?
Well, it's either girls who were really into horses, like they would, uh, you know,
horse ride or whatever. Or it was like, yeah, a lot of girls pretended to be
horses. They just either way would like gallop around and no night bitch.
That's I'm not a day horse. I'm a night bitch.
Candyman, white heat and night bitch.
It's a party. We got a party going.
I never thought of all these people hanging out together.
Now it's all changing.
Oh, wait until the recap at the end.
That'll be a party.
I can't wait.
David, time for your third pick.
Okay.
This one is long.
It's like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang where it will get down into something else.
But I think this is really funny.
Maybe for a more urban crowd, somebody based in a city.
Miracle on 34th Street.
You call him Street, you call him Fourth,
you call him Miracle.
Miracle.
That's what it would get shortened out to,
Miracles coming over.
Oh, Santa Claus.
Oh man. That's what that's what it would get short now to miracles coming over
It could be anything that you did on 34th Street one time I saw I'm stealing ice cream cone and he didn't get caught who knows
But miracle on 34th Street, uh, I'd like to introduce you to my husband. This is hey are ya? The Miracle on 34th Street. She's like, yo, what? Stop talking about this.
I tell you about saying people,
that can't be the first thing you say to someone.
Shhh.
Leave into that.
Let them know you first.
He puts his toothpick back in his mouth.
Wait till dessert.
In a world where a guy calls himself the situation,
we are not that far away.
I think it's a similar thing.
I think it's a similar thing.
I think it's a similar thing.
Yeah.
It is a Christmas movie.
It was hard to get one in.
Is the word the involved in the actual title?
No, just Miracle on 34th Street.
Oh, I'm not sure.
But when he introduces himself,
I think he calls himself, or herself.
Yeah, he's a miracle.
That's right, or herself, or themselves.
Well, he's just miracle on 34th Street.
And it's like, and then they're like,
why do they call you that?
And he's like, well, when I was a kid,
I used to play a lot of pickup handball in the park on 34th.
I was pretty good, you know, I got older.
I went to college, but they still,
it hangs over my head.
I played 72 hours straight.
I beat everybody.
It was like searching for Bobby Fischer.
I was playing three games at once.
Just running back and forth.
Let me ask you this.
Do they still have the Guinness Book of World Records?
Yeah.
It's still operating.
You can still get like a Guinness World Record.
Yeah.
I was thinking about that the other day
and it's one of those things I didn't want to look up.
About getting a Guinness World Record?
I was thinking about making a nunchuck video
because I was bored and I taped glow sticks
to my nunchucks in the garage the other night.
It was in the dark.
Wait, wait, wait, okay, okay.
And I was happy.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, hold on.
Laura went out of town.
Hold on, hold the fuck on.
I did, I'll send, I did it in here too,
I'll send you the video.
What?
Laura's gone, I pulled her car out of the garage and went in there and taped glow sticks to my nunchucks. You were involved in giving them to him out of a car?
I need a room.
Oh, wow.
That is like a, I couldn't write a funnier thing that a husband does when his wife's
away. Pulls the car out husband does when his wife's away.
Pulls the car out to take out his nunchucks.
Where'd you get glow sticks?
I went to Target and bought them
and I had to give Max a couple because she saw me buying them.
So she didn't snitch?
So she didn't tell your wife you were upgrading your weaponry
while you were gone?
Making fucking gun and knifeishing nunchucks?
You psychopath!
I tried to tell her, I was like, these are for me.
She was like, what?
Oh my God.
Are they real nunchucks?
You have like actual nunchucks?
I'm really good with nunchucks.
Oh my God.
But they're real, they're not like
from a Michelangelo costume?
No, they're real.
I have like three pairs of nunchucks.
That was huge. That was huge for me, Sean.
So what record were you going for?
Most divorced thing ever forgotten?
Did it make a huge weight difference in the swinging once you taped the...
No, I have... See, these are really light nunchucks.
They're like rattan wood, so they're like hollow bamboo almost.
So they're really light. And then I just're like rattan wood, so they're like hollow bamboo almost.
So they're really light.
And then I just got some of those bracelets,
like glow bracelets, and I taped them the long way.
It looks dope, dude.
Anyway, so I was thinking about the longest someone's nunchuck.
You wanna get the Guinness World Record
for World's Loneliest Man?
I was having a fucking blast.
You know what's funny is like, I'm gonna use that,
so I'm gonna use that to like, deflect when my girlfriend
catches me trying to light old firecrackers in the trash can.
I'm gonna be like, Sean does this kind of thing too.
Oh, you think this is bad?
Yeah, you think this is weird.
Okay, 60 participants performed in Nunchaku continuously for six hours on July? Uh, okay. 60 participants performed a nonchalant continuously
for six hours on July 14th, 2024.
Six hours!
Your glow sticks would run out of glow by then.
I think he's, he starts to dust.
I don't think those last that long.
He's gotta start to dust.
Does it look like you're spinning poi
when you do it fast with the glow stick on it?
I don't know what that means.
Isn't that those like fire people, those like hippie?
Did you videotape it?
I took a video in my office that I just sent.
Sean, yeah, you had to fuck, hit the group chat, you monster.
And also, if you guys have ever wanted
or thought about joining our Patreon.
Yeah, go ahead and drop that on the con, dude.
I will. I'll make a good video. Here we go ahead and drop that on the con dude. I will
I'll make a good video of it
He shuts the door in case The yellow ones aren't moving enough for me. Yo you.
This is the coolest thing you've ever done.
It looks like the picture I sent in the group chat is watching him do nunchucks in the group.
Then I came over to the camera and I was like, God, that was dank.
You got to like, you got to wrap them around it.
Or like. I can't. I didn't have the, I did in the garage. I didn't have you gotta like, you gotta wrap him around it. Or like, uh.
I can't, I didn't have the, I did in the garage.
I didn't have the, oh, you mean around the nunchucks.
Yeah, so that when it's moving different ways,
you still see it.
Cause I lose that yellow one a lot.
I'll play with ideas.
That's straight up the coolest thing I've ever seen you do.
I wanna end up with them on fire.
We'll see, we'll see if I can get there.
But that would be dank.
Oh my God.
Anyway.
I'd maybe do that, not when you're alone.
Cause I feel like you'd burn down the house
and it'd be a real problem.
It's so funny.
I'll do it in Raleigh on the 22nd, 23rd
at Good Nights Comedy Club.
Oh my gosh.
Come watch him light his nunchucks on fire.
That sounds like something else.
That's some white heat, brother.
That is some white heat. That is some white heat.
That is some white heat.
I'm bringing out white heat.
Oh my God, yo.
I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
The longest duration to perform
consecutive nunchaku infinite finger spins
is 10 minutes, eight seconds.
I don't know what those are.
I don't either.
I don't know the terms for any of this stuff.
Is that the like, when it goes around your fingers?
I can spin them around my hands in like a fluid motion
if I practice.
So it just is like, there's no back and forth.
Cause the chain goes over your palm
and then over the top of your hand.
I wonder, see that's what I was thinking.
I was like, I wonder how long the longest
someone's done this for.
So that's how I got there.
And then you thought, in two days,
I'm gonna go to Buffalo Wild Ways for lunch. Yeah
Yo, your life is crazy only when Laura's I mean, so I love it. Yeah, it was tight
I love it wild. You're a wild boy
Yeah
You're gonna go to my third pick now.
There's no way it can't be a letdown.
Wait, we just went...
Wait, also, you just weren't gonna show anybody that video?
I was gonna wait until I had a better one to show you guys.
That was the rough draft.
Yeah, that's a working video.
I'll put it up on the Patreon, though.
But I won't make a better one
I'm gonna talk to Randy about like making a real one. I'm good at nunchucks
You could learn a trade I have one talk it
Innocence
With my third pick, I'm taking Midnight Cowboy.
Oh, I have that one on there too.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
Yeah, have it.
Pow, pow.
Midnight Cowboy's dating Night Bitch.
Oh, Midnight Cowboy and Night Bitch come together.
That's right.
And they come together.
At the same time.
At the exact same time.
They worked it out.
Something that often only happens in movies.
Right?
If everybody was like, no, that's pretty common, actually.
I'm batting a thousand on that.
I got a perfect track record.
No one's ever been like that.
But you don't even have sex.
You just do that nunchuck thing in front of him.
He takes care of himself.
And you're both going.
And you're both going.
And you're both losing it.
Oh, man.
Just standing there in the dark garage.
There's a third glow stick getting spun around.
People don't know about that one.
That one's not in the video.
You're gonna have to handle yourself.
I can't see anything.
I just think Midnight Cowboy was showing up.
That's a very sexual being.
That sounds like cocaine.
I bet you that's a nickname for cocaine.
You wanna do a little Midnight Cowboy?
Oh yeah, that's right.
That would be a good, if it's not, it should be.
Midnight Cowboy is one of the seven, oh it's very 70s.
1969.
Yeah, is it 69?
John Voight, Dustin Hoffman.
Oh, when they were all young.
It's very good, it's a very good movie.
It's I'm Walking Here, John Voight becomes a male sex worker.
And a hush fell over the podcast.
Cause who doesn't wanna sleep with John Voight?
John, perfect politics voice.
He was a piece of ass.
He was a piece of ass in 69.
He was a piece of ass.
He was a midnight cowboy dude.
Everybody was.
So he just is a prostitute, that's the movie?
Dustin Hoffman is like, I guess his pimp,
it's like a guy comes to the big city kind of story.
It's good, you should watch it, it's really good.
It is.
I don't think he's a piece of ass, if I may.
For 69, for 69.
No, I'm looking at him in Midnight Cowboy.
He's putting up Bob Cousy numbers. Bob Cousy dick numbers. You know, 69. You gotta adjust for the era I think.
He's just built funny. A lot of people had polio when he was a kid. Okay yeah that's a good that's
a really good point you bring up
Everybody was hot when they were young like every famous person is hot when they were fuck is that saying that you said there?
well, I can introduce some pictures of Ian Carmel into that conversation that would maybe a
You you're extremely handsome. You always have I mean I met you when you were what 20?
20 I'm 31 now. Yeah, I've known you for five years.
So, no, you're very handsome.
Everybody, all of you, you're all gorgeous.
I mean, and famous people,
they're all attractive when they're like 25.
I mean, pretty much, like conventionally,
that you'd look at a famous person,
you're like, yeah, I get it.
You don't think I'm right?
You don't think there's something to that?
Oliver Platt? Probably, I don't there's something to that? Oliver Platt?
Probably, I don't know.
I'll look up Oliver Platt.
I bet he, I could see him being,
I could see him being. Yeah, actually I could too.
I could see him having it, yeah.
I could see that all coming together.
I know we've done this.
No, actually not, I was wrong.
No, we did it with Steve Buscemi.
Look up Young Buscemi, he's pretty detractive.
Like, yeah, Oliver Platt. Yeah, there's that picture.
Oliver Platt's got it going. There's that picture is the meanest way
There's that one picture
Famous picture of young Steve Boushemi that one photo of him that looks nice
Where's from a distance
13 seconds you can tell that Steve Bcemi's some lady speed, though.
There's a girl that you know who dates Buscemi's.
Absolutely.
It's the swagger that he has.
It's the attitude.
It's the way he carries himself.
I live in the hipster Crescent of Los Angeles.
All these girls are dating Steve Buscemi.
That's the best case scenario.
There's a panty-grab in there.
All Buscemi's, but none of them can be Shemi.
Uh-uh.
Wow. Good-uh.
Wow.
Good Halloween costume.
You know what your problem is, Earl?
Midnight Cowboy is my pick,
and before we get to my fourth pick,
we're going to take another short break.
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Everything.
Yeah, cat butt.
Cat butt, live on the podcast
Yeah, another microphone this time
Nothing nothing my cat is here on the desk Eddie and she is not saying anything, but she's head parts into the microphone
She's ripping a big one it It is time for my fourth pick.
Yeah.
And I'm going to take,
ah damn, there's so many good, okay.
I'm gonna take the French connection.
Okay, all right.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, that's a good one. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. All right. All right. All right. The FC's coming over. It's cause I'm always tongue kissing.
PFC, big tongue.
PFC.
I hate it when people call it tongue kiss.
Yeah.
You don't like calling it tongue kissing?
Hey, you wanna go back to my house and tongue kiss?
That was back in the day, whatever, sixth, seventh grade.
The only thing worse I think is swap and spit.
That's also gross.
I would say that one.
It's also nasty.
For a while we'd say like, I tongue-d'r.
That was fun.
We're like, yeah.
Oh, yes!
It's like, yeah, it's gross.
Who would say that?
Yeah, I tongue-d'r Rebecca.
What do you mean?
What do you mean you would say it?
My crew.
My running crew.
The same kids that would call me six.
That's who would say it.
Same kids who agreed to that.
You guys were truly wayward youth.
I tongue her down.
You have to say a, what is that, a preposition after?
You have to say like, I tongue her around, I tongue her down.
I tongue her up. Tongue her down I tongued her up
Tongued her off
Yuck, yuck, oh no
I tongued her off
I tongued her off I did I did I tongued her off
I tongued her off I heft her down I sent her off to sea
Hahahaha
Hahahaha
Isn't that what that sounds like
That could be a new dating app tunder it's a song about a ship that turned into a woman for one night
There are a lot of songs like that, believe it or not. Yeah, yeah. Less than one. When they talk about fucking their shit, you're like, what's this?
How's this?
How's this end?
Hoist the sails and wash the mast.
The French connection is the nickname for me.
Oh yes, that's correct.
Plucked from the movie, the world of film.
I've never seen that either.
And it's just a kissy boy.
It's just a boy who's out here kissing everybody.
It's a kiss boy. It's a snoopy little love who loves to just a, it's a kissy boy. It's just a boy who's out here kissing. It's a kiss boy.
It's a Snoopy little love who loves to kiss.
He's a little kissy boy.
I do like kissing.
Are you still kissing on the regular like that, Sean?
Yeah.
Nice.
He likes a dry, he likes a dry kiss.
Yeah.
No, it's, it's complicated.
I have a complicated relationship.
With kissing?
With kissing. I will say we like. With kissing? With kissing. Huh.
I will say we like the exact same thing, which is very nice. It's nice when that happens.
Couple of kissers.
Mm-hmm.
Two big kissers.
Okay.
Yep.
I'm not a huge kisser.
How right in the...
It depends. It depends.
Morning kissing for me is like, get away.
Do not come near my mouth out of respect for you
and don't bring your mouth to me out of respect for me.
I don't, let's not pretend that this is nice.
It's not, it's bad.
That's subjective.
Unless you're keeping breath strips in your nightstand,
which is fine, but still I just.
I'm not a big morning person with physical, I don't know.
I don't like it. Yeah, you're a night bitch.
Yeah, I'm a night bitch.
Big night bitch.
I get it.
I'll get up and throw down on some early morning
tooth brushing like a 1950s housewife and get back in bed.
Yeah, I will too.
Or at night.
Oh, I'm just waking up.
I just woke up.
Morning, sleepyhead.
Oh, is it time for work?
What happened?
Hi, I just woke up.
Oh no, I just closed my list, my doc, my Google doc,
that I keep everything in.
Oh no.
Oh no, now I don't know what day, I don't know who I am.
I don't know what day it is.
Doc Brown.
I can't even name a movie. I don't even what I don't know who I am. I don't know what day it is brown I can't even name a movie
I don't even know what podcast this is
Okay, I'm back
The French connection David your fourth pick
Fantastic mr. Fox. Oh, that's good.
Oh yeah.
He's a cool guy.
Yeah.
Even better if your last name is not Fox.
Yeah, definitely not.
Because I feel like in that movie they call him Foxy
and I think that's what would happen, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I imagine.
Where it would just be like, oh yeah, Foxy,
but yeah, Fantastic Mr. Fox is just that.
My name is Fantastic Mr. Fox and but yeah, fantastic. Mr. Fox my name is fantastic. Mr. Fox
And I'm here to fantastic. Mr. Fox you could say that
Right before I had sex I don't wanna
You could I don't want to ruin the mood, but you could you could
Laws against you could put on your Tweed condom.
With the elbow patch.
With the elbow patch.
This one's scratchy.
And say, my name's the Fantastic Mr. Fox and I'm here to Fantastic Mr. Fox.
You know, knock the boots.
Tweed for her pleasure.
And Bill Murray's there.
And then somebody's like,
Candyman, tell him the truth.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Does anybody else feel drunk?
Yeah.
Kind of.
Yeah, kind of.
But I am.
That's why.
And that's because I drank a fifth of vodka.
Yeah.
I'll be here until my child was born.
I just showed to pick her up from the airport in an Uber.
Like, hey Laura, I took an Uber to the airport.
Let's get one home.
No, I'm not drunk.
What are you talking about?
Do you want to pop in and drink
at the airport bar really quick?
They got one now.
You don't have to go past security anymore.
Yeah.
That's the problem.
They didn't have one in Portland forever.
Like you had to go past security, but now they have...
And then they got your letters.
I was out there picketing every day.
I want a beer.
Katie, Katie Nolan.
Yeah.
Time for your fourth pick.
Okay, I'm going Fern Gully.
Oh, there you go.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
That's right.
She's a fern gully.
You can put the emphasis, it can be fern gully
or it can be fern gully, either way.
Fern gully.
Fern gully.
What kind of image would we picture?
Just a sprightly little fairy, unaware of the world.
That's a fern gully.
Fern gully's always fun to be around, I feel like.
Always a good time.
Always in a good mood.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is gully a word that,
it strikes me as one of those words that Sean says
to mean that it's cool.
When you call things gully.
Ian would make gully water.
Right?
I didn't get used to it.
I think gully means like gnarly.
I think gully is like,
it's a ropey situation.
Yeah.
I've heard gully in gully water.
I've never heard gully, I've never really heard it used.
Yeah, gully is a slang, it's like risky.
It's like a-
So it's risky business.
Risky business.
Risky forest business.
Heard gully in risky business?
But a gully is also a ravine.
The main definition of gully is a ravine.
It's like a ravine full of trees, like ferns.
Full of ferns, yeah.
Right.
But get gully is not a thing.
I feel like I've heard that.
Yeah, it is.
But it's a bad thing, you're saying.
It's like gutter is how I remember it.
Yeah.
Got it.
Great, that's even better. Yeah. This person's like ater is how I remember it. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. Great. That's even better.
Yeah. This person's like a little scrappy,
scrappy, dirty little sprite.
Yeah, they're like a street hoarder.
Scrappy, dirty little night bitch.
That's right.
I've got a theme going on mine.
Some gutter trash named Fern.
Fern Gully's gonna come through and you're like,
oh, okay, put on me for a little. Put on me for a little.
Yeah, she's got a butterfly knife.
She's in and out, Fern Gully.
She's an actual butterfly, though.
Her butterfly knife is an actual butterfly.
She can come, but just block the garage, okay?
Carries a knife.
Yeah.
Fern Gully.
There's rooms in your house that she can't go in.
She can't go up the stairs.
She can't go upstairs. I'll lock go up the stairs. She can't go upstairs.
Okay, I'll lock that room if Ferngully's coming home.
Sean, time for your fourth and then your final picks.
This is tough, man.
It's hard to end it, yeah.
I know.
There's so many.
I'll just stick with my,
I was gonna go animated to The Lion King.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm just not that guy. If I met somebody with that nickname, it would be weird. Yeah, it would.
If I showed up being me, like in this, for me in this scenario, I'm exactly the way I am.
And someone's like, why in the world are you called the Lion King?
I'm the Lion King.
I'm the Lion King.
I'm the Lion King.
I'm the Lion King.
I'm the Lion King.
I'm the Lion King.
I'm the Lion King. I'm the Lion King. I'm the Lion King. I'm the Lion King. Like in this, for me in this scenario, I'm exactly the way I am.
And someone's like, why in the world
are you called the Lion King?
You know what's weird is like with the rest of these,
even though they are like for sure movies,
I didn't make the connotation in my head, you know?
Like if I'm meeting White Heat or Risky Business,
I'm not like immediately thinking of those movies.
Of the movie.
Yeah. Right.
But with the Lion King, all I can think is,
this one's a fucking Disney adult.
Yeah, they're Simba, yeah.
So you're Simba, you're saying.
I don't think they're like a king of the lions.
I'm like, this guy thinks he sounds
like Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
I paid someone a lot of money to like organically
give me that nickname at a party,
so I didn't have to give it myself.
Like, I'll give you $20,000.
It would have to be a ton of money
because nobody would believe him.
Yeah.
Ton of money.
He'd be like, whoa, did you just pick up that?
Did you just do that?
You're the Lion King.
Oh man, we should call you the Lion King.
Yeah.
Dude, I'm gonna call you the Lion King.
The way you picked up a baby carrot and held it like that.
I don't even know, how can somebody earn that?
The first thing I pictured is you'd have to be
the main character at a pride parade.
I would be like, that's the Lion King.
Oh, that makes sense.
The head of the pride is all I would think of.
Then I would wanna call the,
cause Mufasa is the better nickname is the one.
Right.
Yeah, right.
Or like, so if you really were called the Lion King,
it would be like you're lying or you're like laying around.
It would be something where, you know, like,
oh, you're the lion king.
I don't suck.
You're just laying around all day.
That would be, that would be, ouch.
What's that?
It's like a nickname given by a mom folding laundry?
You've never paid taxes, you're the lion king.
Look at this guy, he's the Lion King.
Because the king is tough.
King is tough, so.
I'm funny, right?
I'm funny.
I can invent her.
Maybe if your dad was killed by a herd of wildebeest.
That would then, I think, make sense.
I'd call you the Lion King.
Yeah, call you whatever you want.
I'm sorry about your father.
Yeah, it's a herd of vodkas. The Lion King, the Lion King. Yeah, I'd call you whatever you want. I'm sorry about your father. Yeah, I heard of vodka.
The Lion King, the Lion King.
The worst pick so far.
Yeah.
Uh.
I don't want it to be you, Sean.
It's not like on purpose.
It just happens that way.
It just keeps happening that way.
I'm having such a good time.
Good, great.
I'm so glad you saved me from the miracle on 34th Street.
Cause that was not the move I thought it was in my head.
I'll tell you that.
I liked it.
It came out a lot worse than it wrote down.
Am I insane?
I liked it now.
Yes. Yes, you're insane.
You taped glow sticks to a nun-chow.
You're out here going, you're going crazy.
She's not even away for that many days.
It's not like she was away for a month.
Well, she didn't die.
And you still have your kid.
I wanna do this same draft again next week.
We could.
We could do the same draft every week.
It's just name a movie, name a movie and give it a backstory.
It could be the podcast.
It could, we could completely switch.
People would be like,
you know they used to draft other stuff?
This is my new podcast where I just draft movie names
that could be nicknames.
That's the podcast coming in Q1, I meant to tell you.
I can't wait.
It's just this, it's a spin-off.
It's Frasier and your cheers.
It would be an honor. It would be an honor.
It would be an honor.
Oh yeah, Frazier was on Cheers.
I didn't, I forgot it.
Yeah.
You always forget, Frazier, they really,
you really forget that it's a spin-off.
That's the sign of a good spin-off, I think.
Probably the most successful.
I would guess.
Yeah, probably.
No, Joey, I think.
Like I said, the Simpsons have you considered
a spin-off of...
Oh, Tracy Ullman.
Tracy Ullman, maybe.
That feels different to me.
Great riff, David.
Sean?
God. It was a good riff.
It was a good, it doesn't have to be, I'll be funny,
that was a good informative riff.
Right, you're right.
Sometimes you need protein. All right, here we go.
Sometimes you need protein.
Because of the Nunchuck talk.
I'm gonna go with Lethal Weapon.
Yeah, that's a good one. Okay, that's a good one. Yeah, you came back. Yeah
I was nervous. I was nervous. No
No nervous for that not for the last
Big lie. I'm picking you were nervous. I kind of jumped out from where I kind of I pivoted with the Lion King
I should not have that's why
No, like I'm just lying around like I lay around all the time, you know?
It's funny because it's a movie,
so it's like you're the lying king.
Sure.
Leet the weapon.
I think Leet the weapon would be great.
I have non-choc ability.
I have, you know, so call me that or James Bond, whatever.
Give me D.
I'm not really, I'm pretty ash about the whole thing,
so whatever you guys wanna call me.
If you guys wanna, it doesn't matter.
James Bond works. Kiki Baba, but, it doesn't matter. James Bond works.
Kiki Baba, but also James Bond is like.
Kiki Baba, Kiki Baba.
Katie, time for your final pick.
Oh, is it?
I'm going to go,
because this is a Catherine Bigelow podcast,
I'm going to go with the Hurt Locker.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know.
That just feels like something I'd want to be called. That's what we used to call the Hurt Locker. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. That just feels like something I'd want to be called the Hurt Locker.
That's what we used to call the middle seat in the back.
The middle, we'd call it the Hurt Locker after that movie came out.
Have you known anyone with a nickname?
That's what I call my...
Finish a riff?
No.
What?
No.
Wait.
Did you just say that's what I call my...
I think the podcast needs you to finish that riff.
I had to sit in the Lion King bathtub, so what do you...
Let's finish the riff.
That's what I call my...
My...
Punani.
Oh, oh!
What the fuck? Punani?
Yeah, that's what I call...
I've only heard that in poetic justice.
I had to think of another word to call it because I normally just call it.
That's what I call my heart locker.
Why are you talking like you smoke black and mild?
My poonani?
I haven't called it anything other than heart locker in so long.
They can't even say that on TV yet.
You're like, it was 1996 the last time you called it anything but the heart locker.
It's just been, it was 1996 the last time you called it anything but the Hurt Locker.
It's just been, it's all I know.
Poonati is crazy.
Poetic Jess is the only place.
My Snatch, I don't want to name other movies.
You're going nuts.
My Lion King.
My Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
That's what I call my fern golly.
No.
Are all my pits jaws?
White heat? Oh my god.
Night pitch?
All your pics are vaguely sexual, yes.
Oh my god. These are all names for my poonanny.
Everything is your vagina.
My panini.
My panini breasts!
My goo goo!
Also K19 the Widowmaker works.
Oh shit!
Well, the Hurt Locker.
Badda bing, badda boom.
There it is. Perfect.
God, there's so many others that didn't get picked.
David, your final pick.
Oh man.
I don't even have an explanation for this.
This was just one of the first ones
that popped into my head and I tried to go with that.
The graduate.
I don't really even get it.
Best if they're a dropout, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
Or last named Robin Hood.
If it's somebody who like barely went to high school
and you just call them the graduate
and they own that and they like that.
Or they have sex with old ladies.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Does anyone know anyone who has a the nickname?
No.
Who actually people call them that?
No, no.
My late friend Pete, we used to call him the tripler.
There you go.
Because he was really good at darts.
He was good at darts.
Oh.
That's, seems like a really.
Trashy.
It seems like the lightest way you can get that nickname.
The General.
Oh yeah, the General.
Oh, the General.
The General.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right, the General.
All right, time for my final pick.
The James Bond, if you guys wanna do that, it's fine.
We call you the James Bond, yeah.
Hey, The James Bond.
Okay, here we go.
I'm ending with an intention.
I'm gonna say intentionally bad,
but I kinda think it's good, but it's kinda weird.
Milk.
I thought of that too!
And I was like, that's nuts.
That's nuts.
Milk is so funny.
It's a good nickname, I think.
Milk's coming over.
It's my boy, Milk.
Dan's nickname could easily be Milk.
He could be Milk?
Does he drink milk?
All the time.
Yeah.
All the time.
Big Milk guy.
Big Milk guy.
If I let him, he would.
I wanna call him Big Milk.
That is nuts.
All the time.
Drinking milk is crazy.
Yeah.
Big Milk. Big Milk?
Big Milk.
Big was on my list.
It'd just be funny to call someone Big.
Big is another good one.
You can't say it's free to punane.
It's not funny when I do it.
I don't know, it feels weird.
It didn't feel good.
It hurts my feelings.
Okay, then I'm laughing at something else.
I think I got too excited and I said it wrong.
It was the way you pointed.
It's a poonande!
I didn't like that part.
That's weird.
Yeah, I get it.
But that's alright.
At least you're not going to be showing up at my house in 20 minutes.
Like we got two live crew on this show right now.
Milk is good.
Milk is a good one.
Milk is a good one.
There was a Sports Illustrated article about a white kid who played basketball named Milk,
I remember, and they had a picture of him
and all the kids on his team, and he was like,
like, I'm thrown off from the Panani thing,
I'm sorry, it's been weird.
I think ever since there was a tone shift,
and I acknowledge it.
I wanna hear all of these put together.
I think it's gonna be a real treat. It's it's
Milk is the final pick of the draft Isaac. Do you have a pick? Yeah of all the big of the movies
You guys didn't take zero dark 30. I know that's another good one. That's the one that I want. It was on the list
Yeah, yeah, just shorten it to 30 and you don't know why you're called 30 until someone explains like zero dark 30
Zero dark 30 kill kill bin Laden
Do you got stuck with zero his zeros coming over? Oh, that's sucks
Yeah
Dt
zero dark
Well, that's a good pick Isaac zero dark. Tersey zero dark tear tea
Zero dark territory. Zero dark territory.
Sean, you went first.
And your nicknames are Uncle Buck, Risky Business, Candyman, The Lion King, and Lethal Weapon.
The Lion King is-
The Lion King does not fit.
Candy, you went second.
You took Jaws, White Heat, Night Bitch, Fern Goalie, and The Hurt Locker.
Oh my god. David, who went third?
You took Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Point Break,
Miracle on 34th Street, The Fantastic Mr. Fox,
and The Graduate.
I went last.
I took K-19, The Widowmaker, The Fifth Element,
Midnight Cowboy, The French Connection, and Milk.
I seriously think we should do it again.
Literally the rest of motion picture history is left on the board.
Everything. Everything. From The Great Dictator to Conclave.
There were some that seemed too obvious to pick.
You know, you didn't want to take The Godfather.
You know, that's a cool name, but yeah.
Scarface.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We could, we could do this again next week.
We could make it a two-parter if you want.
I haven't laughed this hard in, I don't know how long.
I mean, it seems.
Not since you put, not since you taped the glow sticks to your nunchucks.
I wasn't laughing.
That was, that ain't a game.
We can do it again.
I can't believe that happened.
That's so fucking funny.
I'm so glad We can do it again. I can't believe that happened.
That's so fucking funny.
I'm so glad we have video of it.
I was really happy that you had that.
We wanna hear your picks.
Hit us up at All Fantasy Podcast on Twitter,
All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com.
Shout out to everyone on the Patreon,
where you can find exclusive footage
of Sean doing glow stick nunchucks, mail back episodes,
auction drafts, all of that stuff.
Shout out to super producer Isaac on the ones and twos.
Super cool, super cool ice, the Iceman.
Mega producer, megawatt smile.
Peerless fashion sense.
There it is.
Gray head of hair.
That's a nice smile.
Nice head of hair.
Gray head of hair.
The rude head of hair, actually.
Talented, kind, skilled.
Just a gentleman for a new age.
I don't know if I can.
Thick hair, I'd say it's thick.
Beautiful.
Which is what you are.
Beautiful soul, beautiful smile, Isaac Lee.
Shout out to, I don't know why I'm taking the energy down.
I'm just doing kind of a, I don't know, I like it.
You got real punani energy.
You wanna put a little?
I feel like though I ruined the broadcast.
It all started going downhill the second I said punani.
I just want you to put a little piano behind this, Isaac,
and I think it becomes like a real nice way
to end the podcast.
Shout out to.
Punani.
I'm gonna post-mates the bee dogs, I think. That like a real nice way to end the podcast. Shout out to, uh... I'm gonna postmates the bee dogs, I think.
That's what I decided.
You're gonna postmates Buffalo Wild Wings?
Yeah, I just figured I might go on that.
I forgot about postmates.
Shout out to everybody, the subreddit, the, uh...
This is the lack of me.
Shout out to SaintSueCarmel. Shout out to Saint-Sucar Mount.
Shout out to Frankie Ocean,
shout out to the dude at Haji Beats.
More important than all that,
tune in again next week
to another brand new episode of K19 The Widowmaker.
Boo-la-lay!
Ah!
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Ah!
Ah!
That was a head gum podcast.