All Fantasy Everything - Movie Tropes (w/ Demi Adejuyigbe, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: June 14, 2018

This podcast is set to explode in 60 seconds. Sean, David and your faithful host Ian are joined by comedian/writer/bon vivant Demi Adejuyigbe to draft movie tropes. ENJOI!Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Audible is offering All Fantasy Everything listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to audible.com/allfantasy or text “allfantasy” to 500-500 to get started today.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that, what is that, Apple Crisp, or what are you eating over there? What is that, a veggie chip? Oh, me? Yeah, I'm eating veggie crisps. The podcast that's housing veggie crisps. Damn. Because we're recording on a goddamn Thursday. We've got to come up for Damn. Because we're recording on a goddamn Thursday.

We've got to come up for a name when we're recording on a release date. Oh, yeah. There's got to be something cool, though. Like a full gravy boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going all ham. All ham. No, all ham is weird. Obviously, the fat guys have put in their suggestions.

Demi, do you have one? I said all ham-nessy everything, but that's not anything. Wait, all hennessy everything. All hennessy everything. Because we were just talking about hennessy. We were talking about hennessy last week. So, you know, all hennessy everything. Well, by now the listeners have probably tuned into the fact that we're recording like a big, a huge.

Well, otherwise we'd have hennessy stories to tell and we don't. Yeah, we won't have hennessy stories to tell and we don't yeah we won't have hennessy stories to tell until next week until set well maybe until saturday we forgot them all a good story you don't remember yeah are we excited to tell our stories in front of acclaimed author and feminist rocks i know i was thinking like we're gonna come in here smelling like just smelling like friday night on a Saturday morning. There's worse things. I've smelled like worse things than Hennessy for sure. Oh, yeah.

Laura one time, she picked me up. And like the next day, she goes, hey, when I pick you up, can you not smell like whiskey this time? What time of day was it? Like nine in the morning on a Sunday. And I was like, probably not. Probably going to smell like whiskey. I'm sorry. You picked her up from the airport?

She picked me up. Where were you? What the what the fuck at my house this is when i lived in portland oh okay yeah this is just like wait so you were at home i was at home honestly i'm on her side you could have taken a shower i did take a shower brush my teeth gum not good enough yeah and then added more hennessy like how did this... He showers in Hennessy. It's a weird choice. Just a dab will do you when Laura's coming to get you. It's like a Willy Wonka type scenario. I just put a couple dabs

behind the ears before I go out. The Henrock berries taste like Henrock berries. Oh, man. I want to see Willy Wonka, but in a liquor factory. It's like all adults touring.

Man. Boy, I feel like it would be similar conclusions. Oh, yeah. A lot of the same stuff would happen. Yeah. Somebody's fallen in that whiskey river, guaranteed. You're falling in.

You don't die. But you're falling in like the way a fat kid fell in the pool with his t-shirt on. Like, oh, I got it on. Sorry, what? It's kind of cool. We should all wear our shirts in the pool it's Willy Wonka

telling all of them they can take a dip in the whiskey pool and the kid who like keeps his shirt on gets stuck and he's going up the tubes like

I'm not taking the shirt off I'm sorry I'm gonna die for this and I see my nipples sorry somebody would barf off the side

of his nightmare boat oh man if anybody listening has a kid just tell him not to wear that shirt it's just not worth i know i don't know why i wore it it's i did a few times it's just not it's not where i get the thinking though kids are cruel like anything you want to do to avoid but you know what looks worse than your chubby prepubescent body? Your chubby prepubescent body like with a skin tight nightgown. You don't think it looks good to have your nipples

peeking through a Big Dog logo? A wet Big Dog logo? Right over the ears. Your pre-Mitzvah nipples? Oh man, they might as well they should have just went ahead and went all out and made big dog t-shirts waterproof.

You know what they're for. You know what they're for. You want big dog neoprene suits? You know what we're wearing them for. It's a big dog shirt. Doggy glove. You know little dogs don't wear these shirts. Full on balaclavas that say Harry Potter, but it's hairy like

hair. That was one of them. Balaclavas that say Harry Potter, but it's hairy like hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was one of them. Balaclava's a good ass word. It is. I was going to say ski mask. I was like, uh, this is a... Age it up. Let's do this. Balaclava. Yeah, dude. Classy. We're almost always like 50% of the time when I'm going to say balaclava, I just say baklava and I

pretend like I didn't say the wrong word. I'm going to be honest. I thought you guys were talking about baklava until you made that distinction just now. I don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, Big Dog's printing food. Ski mask, like with the eyes. Balaclava. Who named that?

Probably a Russian. I want to say it was Jeffrey Balaclava. It was Jeffrey Balaclava. Ooh, Jeffrey Balaclava. Balaclava. Do you want to call it a jeff no i must honor the family as much as i'd like to i stood on the shoulders of giants can't just call it a jeff how's traffic for you today it's rugged dude shit coming out of my this is why i like coming here because i i'm like oh no you're happy sean s jordan on the mic on twitter yeah sean cougar melon jordan on instagram playboy he nailed it dog it was rough rough on the way over rough dude dog yesterday i don't even know if i

yeah we recorded yesterday too i don't even know if i said there i could have killed someone with my hands you hit somebody with the coffee cup though i did i liked through i didn't tell you this no you did not tell me this. So I'm on my way. I'm coming from West Hall. This is not going to be interesting to most of the people listening to the podcast. You're coming from a ways. It's a schlep and a fucking half. I'll tell you that for free.

You can give me a nickel if you want, but I'll give it to you for free. I'll take donations, but by no means do I need them for that info. This car, so I'm driving, cruising, and this guy s swerves over like to where i have to slam on my brakes there's a there's a small screech and you don't like doing that we're attacking a vole if i know you you're not a fan like you do at this point i know you pretty well not a fan of it not a fan not a fan i'll tell you what i'm a fan of john prine's music uh-huh sunsets you like semicolons a lot semi-colons yeah you're a big semicolon crunchy peanut butter well yeah smooth peanut butter yeah it's fucking not when people pull that shit not for a second and

he does it and i slam on my brakes and thinking like it was an honest mistake uh-huh you know he'll swerve back over and i'll be able to continue on my way no stays there and then very smugly if you could describe the way someone very smugly just pulls out could describe the way someone drives, very smugly just pulls out. And I'm honking, like, get back over. You got in my way. So I just fucking veer into the other lane, because there's a window, and just get in front of him again and take this half full of venti iced coffee, chuck it out the back window like a grenade. And it hits his car. Of course it did. And then he ended up pulling up next to me later, and he had his window down and was staring at me, and I rolled his car. Of course it did. Yeah, and then he ended up pulling up next to me later,

and he had his window down and was staring at me, and I rolled it down. Was he Terry Crews? Because that's the only way he's... He was not Terry Crews. You think we're pulling the shit out of Terry Crews? If anything... Come on, man.

If anything, he looked a little bit like, and then I felt bad, because he looked like the guy who helps with clothes on the new season of Queer Eye. Oh, man. Who's awesome. Yeah, he's the best. If it wasn on the new season of Queer Eye. Oh, man. He's awesome. If it wasn't him... God, I'd be so mad, dude.

If it was him, I would have gotten out of the car and walked into traffic. I love that man. Even though he just tells people to put on a graphic button down. He really does. It does work. I don't know if it would work for me. It would. A graphic button down? That's know if it would work for me. It would.

A graphic button down? That's the kind of thinking that everyone goes into it with, and then you come out looking like a million bucks. You know where they sell a lot of graphic button downs? Target. Where? Yeah, in Walmart. Thought those. I'm not talking about like somebody.

It's not like somebody going Super Saiyan in front of it. No, we're talking like. You're the same bitch. Were you going Dragon Ball Z on it? Wait, did you both say Goku? I said going Super Saiyan, and he said Goku. They only got so many clothes for fat guys. Yeah, and a lot of them are Dragon Ball Z.

There's a surprise. The Venn diagram of fat dudes in Dragon Ball Z apparel. It's a circle. It's just pretty. It's a circle. Anytime any designer is making clothes that have an L in the size, they're just like, should we throw Goku on this? Yeah. We know they like it. It's a lot of anytime any designer is making clothes that have an L in the size they're just like should we throw a goku on this yeah

we know they like it the wedding tuxedo but do they want Vegeta on the inside it's like how much more can we sell these if we have Vegeta and all the fat guys

are like yes yeah probably we'll just sew him on the pocket we'll compromise we'll throw a pickle on the inside so dude pulled up

next to you and like I think looking to take he was like you know he was a little tougher but that's what he looked like

he looked fashionable and you know a little bit smaller but a little bit tougher than the dude from Queer Eye sure I think looking to take, he was like, you know, he was a little tougher, but that's what he looked like. He looked fashionable and, uh, you know, a little bit smaller, but a little bit tougher than the dude from Queer Eye. Sure. I think he was looking to like maybe escalate this further. And then I don't know what was in my eyes, but it made him drive away immediately. I'll tell you what, if it's a drop of what's in your eyes right now, I wouldn't fuck with I've seen you.

I've seen you kind of like upset and I, I don't, you know, I wouldn't want it. Yeah. I don't want that smoke. I might have to put the lid on the trash can at some point. It's getting, I challenged myself to not honk every day. I'm like, don't honk today. My horn's kind of tricky. Do you honk every day?

Most days. Well, baby steps, dude. I'm doing the work. I'm working. I'm doing the work. I got my workbook out. Dr. Marvin. But we were talking about you. How are you? I'm good, man. Traffic sucked. But other than that, I'm floating the work. I got my workbook out. Dr. Marvin. But we were talking about you. How are you?

I'm good, man. Traffic sucked. But other than that, I'm floating, man. A lot of people, this will be like three weeks after the show, but Ian and I were on a show last night in West Hollywood, like downtown kind of. With MacArthur Park. Yeah. Dynasty typewriter.

MacArthur Park. Yeah. I have a little girl. Oh, if I could make a cross-podcast studio recommendation. Bill Simmons had Ethan Hawke on. Really? And Ethan Hawke is incredibly charming. I love Ethan Hawke.

I always have him. Real great breezy little interview that he had. I love Ethan Hawke. Check it out. I used to always confuse Ethan Hawke for Josh Hartnett, but then Josh Hartnett just kind of faded away. He took it away. Very easy for me.

They have the same hair. Also, it's a bigger tooth gap. Is it? Hartnett has a bigger gap i feel like the center for me was always like i've never seen heart in it with like a beard yeah you're right and even hawk he's just full-on like tom cruise last samurai now he's got the long hair wait who is it lucky number 11 okay yeah that's one of my favorite movies of all time i love it you're that that's that is. That is an opinion that probably select few amount of people have.

I do like that movie. It's a good movie. It's called Slevin Collabra. Top 15. Yeah. Top 15 movies for me of all time. This is up there with Steve Winwood. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Oh, like a little Steve Winwood's, for me, top five male vocalists of all time. Yeah. He's amazing. Yeah, I'm five too. No, no. Let me think about it. That sure exists. That's right. of all time. Yeah. He's amazing. Top five, too? No, no. Let me think about it. That sure exists.

That's Freddie Mercury. Forgot about the black ones. Prince. And Bradley Noel from Sublime. That's your top five? Bradley Noel from Sublime. Is Bradley Noel in your top five? Oh, no.

I'm not rounding out the rest of him. I was just going to say something wild, but we might end up drafting this. No, let's draft male vocalists at some point. Let's do it right now. I'll do it right now. Let's double up. Every time that you pick a cliche, you also pick a male vocalist.

I can pick male vocalists that have done the cliches. Fuck it. Oh, dog. Yeah, man. Thank you to everybody who came out to Dynamite Typewriter last night. Oh, yeah. That's not what it's called. Dynasty, baby.

Dynasty. Dynamite Keyboard. I think I called it Dynamite Typewriter on stage. I think you did, too. It you to everybody who came out to Dynamite Typewriter last night. Oh, yeah. That's not what it's called. Dynasty, baby. Dynasty. Dynamite Keyboard. I think I called it Dynamite Typewriter on stage. I think you did too. It's a better name. They might change it. Right now, just to paint a little picture for the listeners at home, is wearing two different pieces of rooster-based paraphernalia.

That's crazy. I am, aren't I? You are. That's crazy. Oh, that wasn't a plan? No. What am I, a fucking joke? Oh, okay.

I'm crazy for thinking that you come in with two roosters on your clothes. I'm crazy for thinking maybe you thought that up. David, what you thought was that I woke up today and I was like, I'm going to put on my Gamecocks shirt and my Sriracha hat, aka hat sauce. See, I didn't know it was Sriracha and Gamecocks. I just thought you were off to a Chicago Roosters game or something. I'm happy that I didn't actually do this at work. Give me a look. Because I could have done this

at work and looked like a real tool. You look like an undercover cop trying to bust up a cockfighting ring. What are you guys, sniffing weed over there? What are you doing? I'm in the cockfighting. Look at my outfit. I love it. I love it. I don't care that it's illegal.

What's up, y'all? Can anyone point me to somewhere where chickens are being abused for fun? I'm into that. I love it. I love it. I love it. I don't care that it's illegal. Like the guy showing up to the Laker game. Can anyone point me to somewhere where chickens are being abused for fun? I'm into that. Just go to a Laker game. Sure, it just says basketball. I'm like, I'm in. What's going on? Big orange hat with lines on it.

What are you guys doing? Shooting hoops? What's up? They dunking yet? I'm here for the dunks. I'm a connoisseur. That man's going to throw it real far. Thank you for coming to the Dynasty Typewriter.

That was a fun show. It was so fun, man. They said it was one of the busiest shows they've had. Goddamn right. Super tight. Goddamn right. Goddamn right. All fantasy fans.

All fans. We've got to come up with a name for our listeners. All fans will see everything. All fans will see everything. That's the book. All fans will see everything. About our one our one tour

that took a tragic turn when we killed Malloy you realize somewhere he's like he's listening to this podcast right now and he's just like like predator

when the guy cut his chest that's what Malloy did when you heard that he just took his shirt off and cut slowly across his chest. He's doing another set on the bench press that's in someone else's front lawn. He just moved it out to the freeway. He's just doing it in between lanes like the program,

but just like bench pressing instead of laying on the lines. Yuck. I was watching a little Boosie bench press the other day. Boosie? Is Boosie out of jail? He's out. He's out and he's got a huge pool. We don't even get into it. We don't even get's out. Okay. He's out and he's got a huge pool. We don't even get into it.

We don't even get into it. We don't even get into it. It's a big pool. He's got a huge pool. Not the biggest pool I've seen. But it's like a big ass pool for a civilian. It's the biggest pool. The biggest mainland pool.

Who says crime doesn't pay? If we can agree on that. Yeah. So yeah, I'm good, man. I got nothing coming up in June. Tight. Chilling. It'll be summer, so I'm going to have to get some shoes that match the pink that you have

on your new shoes. Dude, I got some kicks shout out yeah you did to kinfolk and shout out specifically I'm gonna go I don't even know if he listens to this podcast but he's a fan of the old stand up comedy he might listen to the podcast give me a second

sing a very quick song here was a fun little crossover the other day shout out to a friend of the podcast Solomon Giorgio an ex-coworker of mine who has not comedy adjacent at all. We never talked about comedy. She doesn't even work there anymore. She screenshotted one of Solomon's tweets and put it on her Instagram page. Oh, does?

And I was just like, she has no idea that we even know each other. So that's just a fan of his. Solomon. Giorgio. He's got good tweets. Solomon Giorgio. Saul Giorgio. He's got good tweets. Solomon Giorgio. Saul Giorgio. What?

What? It was just a bit. You guys really. No. You guys really took it. I was on my phone. This is on him. He's my roommate.

I was about to say. I was like, don't you live with him? I was like, okay, I get it. I'm over here saying Dynamite typewriter. So I'm like, wait, is it Solomon Johnson? I just didn't know it this whole time. That would be so funny. Shout out to Kinfolk in Brooklyn, started by Keith Abrams from Portland.

Oh, playboy. Yeah. Who came to the show Revolution Hall and sent me a free pair of Fila's Kinfolk edition, which are super tight for the summer. Oh, those are crazy tight. And also sent another a number of hats and socks, which I will be sharing with the two of you. Yes!

Yeah. So the come up is real. The come up is real. Look at these. Look at these. Oh, shit. Those are Miami beaches. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, shit. It's going to be a tough summer for Miami. We might have to hit the Sherbert shop. It's going to be a tough summer. You guys at home could only see this photo. Yeah. It's dank, dude. I'll tweet a picture of me, I guys at home could only see this photo. Yeah. It's dank, dude. I'll tweet a picture of me,

I don't know, skateboarding in them. Yeah, you will. You got to do something real California. Some California as fuck. Yeah. Go to a sublime cover band

in Long Beach. Yes, I would. I have seen that. I'll go with you next time. Cover band? It just kind of happens. Like you cross in the city lines and there's sublime

being covered somewhere. Oh, yeah. In Long Beach, yeah. It's like someone practicing tightrope walking Sublime being covered somewhere. Oh, yeah. In Long Beach. In Long Beach, yeah. It's like someone practicing tightrope walking in a park in Portland. It just happens. It's like the national or the citywide anthem. I'm not getting in on that.

It's called a slackline, bro. We'll call it that. Bruh, slackline. I'm in. Yeah. All right. He said it three times and it sounded good. Cool guy jokes 87.

Hey. The G is silent on Twitter. Yes, sir. In the studio on the mic. How you doing, buddy? Oh, man. I went to the Getty today with my buddy Zeke. How's it getting?

Zeke in the studio and not on a microphone. Shout out to Zeke. Zeke the freak. It was great. It was so beautiful up there. You don't really, like, here's what I thought. When I got up there, it was so beautiful and, like, it's like all futuristic. Like, it reminded me of, did you guys see Xenon Girl, the 21st century?

It reminded me of the high school campus. I was eating a Slapidus with these guys. Man! Zoom, zoom, zoom. You make my heart go boom, boom. You just love Zoom, Zoom, girl. Yeah, I do. Yeah, you do.

Shit. You really do. We really just pecked that down. Shit, are we going to have to do Summer Jams Part 2? Yep. Yeah. We are, aren't we? Right after Memorial Day, the unofficial kickoff of Summer.

It has been Memorial Day. It has been Memorial Day for our listeners. It has. We might have to do that before I go. Enjoy the barbecues. Yeah. Oh, God. I'm going to be in fucking London on Memorial Day.

Everybody knows they're bad at barbecue. God, they are. I'll be working all Memorial Day, dude. Are you? Over there, barbecue's just a sauce. I'm bad at barbecue. God, they are. I'll be working all Memorial Day, dude. Are you? Over there, barbecue's just a sauce. I'm going to barbecue. House of Parliament sauce. You can come to my house if you want.

Working. Parliament sauce. Parliament sauce. They have HP sauce. It's funky tasting. It is funky tasting. It's P-funky. Yeah.

It's not funky AF. The internet, dude. I'm talking like the internet now. Yeah, dude. You're lit, bro. Thanks, bro. Geddy, what was your favorite piece of art you saw? Oh.

Or just anything that was remarkable. Honestly, I liked the garden the best. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I fucking really liked the garden. Peaceful? Yeah, and just the architecture was so dope. And those weird fountain. It feels like you're in a completely different place.

I know what you mean. It feels like if they rebooted the X-Men again, that might be the school for it. Exactly. Professor Xavier's school for gifted and talented youngsters or whatever. Like, yeah. Or whatever. Is that not what it was called? No, that's exactly what it's called.

You said what it has to be called. And then you're like, or whatever. I wasn't that confident on the back called? No, that's exactly what it's called. You said what it has to be called, and then you're like, or whatever. I wasn't that confident on the back end. Oh, okay. I started it, and I felt good, and then towards the end, I was like, man, I don't want these nerds to slam me. It felt like you just recited a quote verbatim, or whatever they say. It sounded like you were trying to throw the jocks off, not the nerds. Oh, no.

Whatever, whatever, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was something different in the 60s and they changed it in 67 because the creator or whatever I love Doritos

and beer I watch football bro but yeah I loved I just love the way it looked and it was so like peaceful and it was nice

we are very blessed with art museums here in Los Angeles I don't go to enough of them I still haven't been to the Getty I haven't been to the Getty. I haven't been to the Broad.

Lack of a spree on Tuesday. Listeners, which museums haven't you been to? We'll wait. Yeah, tell us. Really? You haven't? Oh, you gotta go. Yeah, you gotta get there.

I hear the, is amazing. Oh, you gotta go. And then just insert, well, you know, Lichtenstein or a Dutch master. I'm saying overrated. Oh, shit. Okay. They just all insert art. Oh, shit. Okay. I hope they just all insert art. Art.

Art. My name's Art. Art. Dude's name Art never seemed like they like art. You ever notice that? Except for Art Garfunkel. Or Fart Barfknuckle. Oh, see, I did mean Fart Barfknuckle.

That's my bad. I was going to be talking about Fart Warfknuckle. Paul appearing together again for the first time in over a decade. I was going to be talking about fart and barf knuckle. Appearing together again for the first time in over a decade, Paul Simon and fart barf knuckle. I already like fart barf knuckle better than I like art garfunkel. Oh, yeah. Way better. I can't think of art's contribution to my life.

No. Unfortunately. But fart? Fart of art's contribution to my life. No. Unfortunately. But fart? Fart? He's giving me so much. He's giving me laughs in a minute alone. Oh, yeah. My dad turned me on to that.

Barf Knuckle, man. The unsung hero. Sounds like a cousin of Bullwinkle or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Barf Knuckle. The garbage pail kid, Bullwinkle. What do we do on the show? Huh?

Nothing. No, I don't have anything to promote. Oh, okay, cool. You know what the look was. Yeah, listening to all Fantasy Everything. Yuck. I really appreciate you guys. Thank you for reaching out on Twitter all the time.

If dates haven't materialized, we will record, because we're front-loading some episodes, record and drop that in. Yeah, we could double. We can change gears. I'll record them on my phone from the tube. Is that what they call it there? In London, the tube.

Do they still call the toilet the WC? I don't know. I think they do. They called it the WC. The water closet. Yeah, all right. I think they also just say bathroom. It's just become so big and everything.

The loo. Yeah. You know, I used to live with a kid, Anthony Lopez, shout out, and he would get up at his own house and he'd go, I'm going to use the restroom real quick. This is weird to me. He would say that to you? That makes sense to me. That is at your house though.

It's not a rest. I don't know. If you're talking to people, it's like, if you're going to interrupt the conversation, it's polite to say, I feel like. I'm going to use the restroom. The restroom is the part that like, now I'm going to the bathroom. Oh, the restroom. The fact that he called it a restroom was weird to me. What did you want him to say? I'm going to go hit the restroom the restroom is the part that like now i'm going to the bathroom the fact that he called it a restroom oh what do you want him to say i'm gonna go hit the dumper go hit the shitter bro slice of piss off yeah i'm gonna go

i'm gonna go bust a dugan real quick taking a trip to toot town yeah uh i think yeah in your own house that is kind of weird restroom is odd what do you think it's weird right if i just hopped off i am gonna use the restroom you need to get in there. It feels formal. It's a little too formal. It feels like that's not something you say to your friends. For what me and Lopez were doing. If you walked over and shook your hand, that would fit more than. It's like excusing yourself from McDonald's to go to the powder room. It's like, no, you know what we're doing here.

Come on. Bruv, I'm going to go to the restroom. I'm going to go do cocaine in the shitter. That's what you say. I'm going to go do cocaine next to someone shitting. Yeah. It's happened yikes

oh man I'm over by the freestyle machines Demi Adidjou oh fuck oh you had it you had it Demi Adidjou eBay

there it is oh you guys should have heard him off there he was nailing all this all this elegant

Ian's been pacing this whole time we've been beginning just like... I was pirouetting around the room saying it perfectly. You had a dance for it. Yeah, I did. It was graceful. Electro Lemon on Twitter. Sure am.

What is it on Instagram? Also Electro Lemon. Electro Lemon across platforms. Across the board. Just those two. Very talented, funny person on the internet. Thank you. Writing for television programs. Uh-huh. And co-host of Punch Up the Jam. Thank you. Writing for television programs. And co-host of Punch Up the Jam.

Correct. Which all three of us have been on. Yeah. And had a whale of a time on. I loved it. HeadGum family playboy. HeadGum family. HF. For life, you motherfuckers. And All Fantasy Everything guest for far too long in the making. We've scheduled this multiple times and I've had to reschedule

also multiple times. Yeah, from both sides. multiple times and I've had to reschedule also multiple times. Yeah. From both sides. From both sides. I'm happy I was out of town when this was supposed to get done and I'm happy

that it's getting done now. Me too. I'm stoked. We're going to have a different genre. I enjoy this one. Yeah. Anything,

this is going to come out June 14th? Anything we can direct people towards? No, just, oh, June 14th? Yeah. We also have an episode

coming out today with special guest Miel's father. Oh, really? Yeah, for Father's Day. Oh my God. Because her dad's going to be in town, we have an episode coming out today With special guest Miel's father Oh really? Yeah for Father's Day Because her dad's going to be in town We dropped an episode today that is all of us talking about I want to say What a Fool Believes by the Doobie Brothers

So that'll be a fun thing We've covered that What a fool believes Now you're hearing that twice today What's better than the power Who's got the matter To raise it away Now you're hearing that twice today. No, what's my best power? Who's got the man in me? To breeze it away. Now, you would have thought, if you're listening.

I thought that in my loins. Yeah, right? Michael McDonald is not here. No. You would have thought that. He's here in spirit. He took off. He just left.

No. No, God, no. He rode a four-wheeler up the stairs, sung that into the door, and then jumped through the ceiling. Wise man has the power. It's fun to do, man. It really is. A sentimental fool.

You got a really good one. You said cinnamon. No, I said sentimental fool. A sentimental fool. I thought you said cinnamon. Cinnamon roll works, though. Cinnamon roll. It works.

Wow. You're doing the punch up. We still got time to record it. I'm just going to steal that. Who podcasted this? Who has the powder? Oh, the powder. Damn.

Powder's better. All right, let's go around and draft lines for a punch up of What a Fool Believes. Chicago somewhere back in a long ago. You don't think you have a good one. You do. I have that range. I can't touch the sky like that. He's, well, to all of us together are Michael McDonald.

We do. It's true. Together. Separately. They are four comedians. The Michael McDonald Voltron. But together. Did we just put on a show called Michael McDonald and there's no comment?

It's just us doing like kind of a loose kind of good Michael McDonald. I don't even know which of the song we're singing now. Cinnamon roll. I said that because I'm insecure. Wise man has the powder. He came from somewhere back in her long ago. I don't have a joke. That's just the real line.

Oh, okay. Ain't no river wide enough. Kenneth Warnock. What are we drafting today? Oh, that's a great question. Can you tell people this real quick? Kenneth Lomikin what are we drafting today oh that's a great question yeah I'll say I'm glad you got there can you tell people just real quick

in case if you listen to All Fantasy Everything I imagine you're listening to Punch Up The Jam but in case you're one of those poor fools

poor unfortunate souls yeah Punch Up The Jam is basically a podcast where we take songs that we like or know very well and then talk about the lyrics

because I think a lot of people listen to songs and don't listen to lyrics because most songs have insane fucking lyrics so we like or know very well and then talk about the lyrics because I think a lot of people listen to songs and don't listen to lyrics because most songs have insane fucking lyrics so we like break them apart and like do comedy around them and at the end of every episode we have a punch up that we premiere which is essentially just like a rewrite or some sort of remake which is always

so god damn funny I was rolling in Austin I was dying in Austin if you were one of the sweet sweet son of a bitches who came to see us live at South by Southwest, you saw Punch Off the Jam live. And I almost threw myself from the second story. I was laughing so hard.

The Mambo No. 5 one. It was so fucking funny. That song is a lot deeper than I thought it was. That song is fucked. It's great, though. It's a real weird move. Every time we do any of these songs that are super popular, I get instantly worried that it's like, oh, are people going to listen to these songs and just be like, I can't not think about what I hate about it now? And I'm like, no, these are songs we're doing because we love them.

Yeah. It's so fun. No, I mean, I think intellectually you could hate Mambo No. 5, but then when it comes on, you're dancing. What are you going to do? I'm going to grab your aunt. Anybody listening, I'm going to dance with your aunt to Mambo No. 5, but then when it comes on, you're dancing. What are you going to do? I'm going to grab your aunt. Anybody listening, I'm going to dance with your aunt to Mambo No. 5. A little too drunk at the wedding.

A little too drunk. Like, one beer over the line, but still fun, though. A hand about, pinky on the hand, maybe half an inch lower than everyone thought it was going to be. Yeah, maybe I dropped that dip a little deeper. You know what I'm saying?

You get to the part where they list all the names, and you're like, a little bit of Aunt Jessica in my life. Just keep repeating Aunt Jessica. Like, ah, she's going to get the message. Yeah, we're going to get married. You dance up to the bar, a little more wine in my cup, and then you slide right back out to the dance floor. The problem is when you hear that song,

then that whole night is Mambo No. 5. Play it again. I'm Mambo No. 5. Cosmo No. 5. Damn. I probably shouldn't drive. Do we go to a wedding this weekend? I'm just kidding.

I'm good. Let me get those keys. I am not the valet. All right. Let's go to a wedding this weekend. I'm just kidding. I'm good. Let me get those keys. I am not the valet. All right. Let's go to a wedding this weekend. I want to try this out. There's got to be one somewhere. You can just go to a wedding on a whim?

We can just find one. What are you talking about? Let's go up to Wild Country and find a wedding and go to it. There should be a service for like, it's like, if you don't have too many friends and you want people to come to your wedding, you just post your wedding and anyone can come. Oh, like paid mourners. Yes. Except not paid. The only thing you get is free food i'm in yeah yeah you got me yeah it's a crude bar though i get in on that open well that becomes a problem okay i'll bring my own you're right i'm ian carmel ian carmel across platform twitter

and instagram there it is blue check marks fucking in my Syria. Every day in my face. Verified. Nice. Make sure you fuck with the real Ian Carmel, not the non-fake ones on any of the platforms. Are there no fake ones? They're everywhere, dude. When InfoWars hated me, somebody made a fake one. Oh, no.

What was it? Just like, hey, I'm dumb. I'm fat and Jewish. Something like that. I don't know. They're not funny. You know, real sharp knives, those InfoWars folks. Something like that. I don't know. They're not funny. Real sharp knives, those are for worse. Really banging on all cylinders.

Couldn't cut a scoop of ice cream. Sharp as a marble, they say. Sharp as a marble. Listen, All Fantasy Everything, I don't think I have anything really to promote. I have a question. So I saw one of those Trailblazers billboards with your name on it. Yeah. What's going on?

You got drafted. I got drafted by the Blazers. No, it was, I'm friends with these people who run this, I don't even know the proper way to call it. They make t-shirts and also like do social media stuff. They're not officially affiliated with the Blazers, but they're called Trailblazing. Shout out Trailblazing. My buddy Nick Nampe, not in the studio, not on mic, is one of the trailblazing my buddy nick nampe uh dot in the studio not on mic is super

dank one of the trailblazing guys and they just got this idea because like all these cities because lebron is going to be a free agent this offseason true story so like in la they were putting like come to la lebron and like cleveland they put him up and in philly they put him up and in portland where there's no chance he was ever going to go they thought it would be funny to put lebron come be our third best player basically but they needed money to get a billboard so i uh donated some money to the cause how much is it talking about philanthropy philanthropy so it was i don't know the exact amount but i know me and portugal the man and the shop called tender loving empire and a barber shop rudy's which is like a chain or something like uh some stumptown coffee and like a few just some portland luminaries all pooled some money together to get this billboard and it's right and it was up it's down now but it was up for like a

month and a half right by the stadium yeah dude fantastic so fun super dope yeah so if he comes you know thank me later don't at me uh shout out to marissa marissa our super producer follow her at mars mel on twitter the super is seriously if you play overwatch yeah oh god i saw this look in her eye yesterday yeah never seen it before yeah we saw marissa playing overwatch it was crazy they had to get a new tv down there because she burned a hole in the one last night with this crazy look in her eye. And right when I walked in, she got killed. I don't know where the machete came from,

but I know where it went. I need to learn how to play Overwatch. I've never played it, but it looks like fun. It's intimidating. It's so fast. There are too many new games, and every two weeks there will be a new game that everyone's really into.

Fortnite now. Or whatever it is when this drops. I've seen a bunch of raps about fortnight yes apparently fortnight's like a huge problem in baseball now like people are addicted to it in baseball yeah really yeah it's so funny i love that that these dudes are just bringing their shit with them on the road yeah like it's so fun they're playing 162 games it's just fun to like go to the, plugging in their shit and just playing video games. Not me.

I'm playing Stardew Valley, working on my farm. Yes, you are. I'm still making my way through the PS2 game, Donald Duck going quackers. Since 2000, I've not finished it. I'll beat it one day. That's a fine wine though. And then I'll move on to a 2001 game.

That DuckTales game was good on Nintendo. Remember that shit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good. Good. I remember it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good. Good. I remember it.

Good. It was declared. Good. I'm glad you fucking remember it. Well, good. Then go. Well, go then. All right, I'm gone.

I'm going. Then go. Go then. Go then. I'll go then. Baberham Lincoln, bro. I've never seen that movie. You haven't seen Wayne's World?

I've never seen Shawshank Redemption. What is this? I actually have not seen Wayne's World. You haven't seen Wayne's World? I have not. Oh have not oh really yeah the heat's off you here's the crazy i just didn't get into movies until like college yeah i watched tv

and i played video games and i watched any movie that like was in my orbit but i didn't like go see movies so when i go to the movies in high school well i did but it was like but you're not dipping back into like where did you kiss yeah where was your first kiss my where was my first kiss probably not was my first kiss? Probably not at the movies. Because I distinctly remember going to movies when it was like National Treasure or like The Family Stone. If it's something where it's like, can I get a friend to go with me?

And then as an adult, I was like, I don't need to go with friends. I can see whatever the fuck I want. Wasn't that a fun one? Yeah. I can go by myself. It rules. I prefer it. I don't want to go with either of these degenerates.

Yeah, what? Are we talking during Phantom Thread now? The arthouse films I'm going to see? No, I'm it. I don't want to go with either of these degenerates. Yeah, what are we talking during Phantom Thread now? The arthouse films I'm going to see? No, I'm not. I have a whole go into the movies ritual, like smoke weed in my room. Nice. Get a step right before uncomfortably high. Then I go up to Antigua on the corner.

I cop like a tuna melt and some fries. And then I put it in my pocket or my backpack. And then I go to the movies. And because what are you going to say to me? You're a teenager. I'm a man. Yeah. I have like, I'm going to eat this food in there.

Tuna melt is such a flex. That is not a quiet sandwich. Smell wise. You want them to smell. You want them to try and say something. Yeah, I want them to know. I wish a motherfucker would say something about my tuna melt in this movie. Excuse me, sir. Is that a tuna melt? Yeah. Yeah, it is him to know. I wish a motherfucker would say something about my tuna melt in this movie. Excuse me, sir.

Is that a tuna melt? Yeah. Yeah, it is. And you know what else this is? Coco. So leave me alone. Hot Coco. Or the movie Coco.

I thought you were having tuna melt and hot cocoa. That would be crazy. That would be crazy. That would be too much. I was a kid crying in my eyes. I was like, was that smooth?

Tuna melt and hot cocoa. Whoa. We go together like tuna melts and hot cocoa. Yeah, no shit. Surprisingly well. I don't know why, but it just works. I hot cocoa. Whoa. We go together like tuna melts and hot cocoa. Yeah, no shit. Surprisingly well. I don't know why, but it just works. I love them.

No. Yeah, I got a whole... Yeah, I love going to the movies by myself. Yeah, it's not bad. It's fun. It's very adult. Speaking of movies, y'all. Oh, shit.

What are you doing? We're not here in the HeadGum Studios to banter, although that would be fun. It is fun. We are here in beautiful HeadGum Studios in scenic downtown Los Angeles. Hop skip and a jump from the row just a quiet whisper right you can see you can see it if you're mad at it oh yeah oh yeah same zip code and everything right there to draft fantasy wise what is the right word for what we're doing it movie tropes yeah i think that's good movie movie trope cliches. Things that we're sick of.

We're not even sick necessarily. Just like familiar movie devices. Things that happen in movies, hella. If you haven't gotten what we're drafting from the variety of that Chex mix of descriptions we just gave you. I'll throw like unrealistic in there.

Some are just like very recognizable movies. A lot of rappers have told know. Some are just like, well, no. Very recognizable movie. A lot of rappers have told me they live their lives like it's a movie. It's mostly just the one Scarface. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is it Scarface? I thought it was Scarface.

Yeah, Scarface. Like he was a World War I pilot? But also he had an eating problem? Scarface. Scarf Ace. Scarf Ace, dude. It's the Kobayashi biopic. That's the best. That one was

drafting. Oh, sorry, David. No, I was just saying, now I want to call professional eaters Scarf Aces. We should. You can. No one's stopping you. You can do whatever you want, dude. We're in before July 4th. You heard it here first. Hell yeah, the movement starts right now. Hasht. Scarf, yeah. No one's stopping you. You can do whatever you want, dude. We're in before July 4th. You heard it here first. Hell yeah. The movement starts right now.

Oh, yeah. Hashtag Scarface. Not going to be confusing. Yeah, space it. You got to make sure you do the capitalization right. Yeah, that's how you do it. Now, to determine the order of this auspicious draft, we're going to play a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors.

Play between the three of you. You throw on shoot, and here we go. Rock, paper, scissor, shoot! Oh! The G is victorious yet again. Wait, he's victorious? We did scissors. Yeah, but you both did scissors and he had

a unique one. I was up on you by like 0.12%. How does that go 0 for 9? I didn't know anything about that. I was a baby and then I grew into a strong man who can defeat can defeat you you should have killed him while you could we've had people run analytics on our rock paper scissor games yeah and i always thought david won a majority of them but he was only up like one on sean well at this point though i have won a majority today i was up zach tiscani's done it nine times and he's 0 for 9. That sounds like a record I'd get.

That's spooky though. That's spooky. I know because he's fucking such a lunatic. You know, another fun fact about Zach, no reflection in a mirror. No, no. Figure that out. Ever since he moved in, the winds

sort of talk to me. I don't like what they're saying. Now, David, it's up to you to determine the order of the draft. Before you do that, I'd love to remind you that it is a serpentine draft. Okay. What does that mean? Excellent question. Bean burrito, no onions in your right hand.

Red sauce. Bean burrito, no onions in your left hand. Green sauce. Okay. You take a bite of the green sauce. You take a bite of the red sauce. Okay. Red sauce is pretty good. Okay. You take another bite of the red sauce. Okay. You go back over to the green sauce. You take a bite of the green sauce. You take a bite of the red sauce. Red sauce is pretty good.

You take another bite of the red sauce. You go back over to the green sauce. You take a bite. Green sauce is pretty good. Basically what that means is what he's saying is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. It's also crazy when you love the spice of a red sauce but not onions. Hate onions.

Now's not the time. Hate onions. Every time's the not the time. Different spice. Now's not the time. Now's not the time. Hate onions. Now's not the time. Now's not the time. Every time's the fucking time. False count anywhere. Hate onions.

Well, let's- They're not spicy. I love a good onion. Is a big piece of poop spicy? What? Is that what you think onions taste like? I mean, it depends on what you ate. I don't know what poop tastes like, but I assume-

Yeah. You've never eaten poop. No, I've never eaten poop. Of course not. All right, well, let's- Hey, man, try it. Maybe we go to Taco Bell after this Maybe

Maybe we do And we make some moves I was like is this about eating poop or onions I still I'm losing the thread I honestly don't know anymore One and then the other Who's one to say

What's the What's the draft gonna be Okay Shit Yep Didn't think about that Make me first I've been fucking myself

Going first lately I think In the last draft you did but you couldn't have known you got the person you wanted that's true because of that I'm gonna go first you dick I'm gonna go Demi second double D's

I think I'm gonna go Ian third Sean of course you're last of course you're last what Of course you're last. What did you think was going to happen? I won Rock, Paper, Scissors. Fuck you, Chandra Doss. Fuck you, Chandra Doss.

Go then, you piece of shit. You ain't getting nothing on my list. I know I'm not getting nothing on your list, because it's all eat mayonnaise sandwiches or whatever movies you watch. Sugar water, eat a mayonnaise sandwich. Oh, yes. Sugar water, mayonnaise sandwich. With the first pick and the whatever word they're going to end up naming this,

Marissa, draft. David Boy, you are on the clock. I'm taking walk slash run dramatically away from like a fire or explosion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that comes to my mind specifically is Vivica, or no, almost said Vivica Fox. I was like, when'd she do that? Yeah, that is not good. Didn't she do it?

almost said vivica fox i was i was like wouldn't you do that yeah that is didn't you do it angela bassett walking away from her man's car that she set on fire and waiting to exhale oh it was reckless she was so strong she was in her 90 outside smoking a cigarette but yeah walking it's always great it's cool. Yeah. Fire and slow motion should always be together. Do you guys remember at the Oscars when, I think it was Will Ferrell and Andy Samberg did that song, Cool Guys and Look at Explosions? Uh-huh. Yeah. Like J.J. Abrams.

Yeah. I was like, I mean, I'm glad you guys nailed it. It's true. No, you guys, they really read the pulse of society. Yes. There's one in Lucky Number Slevin, Bruce Willey and Josh Hartnett. There is. Walking away.

Is that what today's going to be? Were we on Mike? I distinctly remember that. first time we talked about that or were we off mic? I can't remember. What? The first time Slevin came up. I don't know. I can't remember. We were talking about Lucky Number Slevin earlier.

In case it was off mic, it's not the first time that Slevin has come up today. No. And it might not be the last because there's a lot of stuff in there. But that's Bruce Willey and Josh Hartnett walking away. They don't even glance at the fucking huge building exploding behind behind them yeah because it's so bad because they've just done it so much you know they're like our dicks are so big that's one of those things that probably came from like the insurance companies being like they can't they cannot face the explosion absolutely and then they're like i mean i'm sure it's luckily it looks danger thing but i mean it

happens to look cool but i can't imagine the very first time it happened was not... I think it was born of a liability. I don't think it was a bad... It's so badass. I know, but I think it was an accidentally badass thing. By this time, I'm sure it's more liability and badassness. Because over time, it's like,

we've seen this so much, it's not as badass anymore. It's still kind of badass. It's still badass, but it's like... You can't... When it comes to big productions and insurance, it's not as badass anymore. It's still kind of badass. It's still badass, but it's like, you can't like the, the, when it comes to like big productions and insurance, it's crazy how careful they are.

It makes sense. But like, we had this thing where, uh, where we shot on our roof of our studio, which is solid, which is like, there's like tables and like you can eat up there and everything.

But you were doing a handstand. I was doing a handstand, uh, and like a handstand pushup. Yeah. Yeah. And screaming versus from the Torah and anyone who would make eye contact with me.

But, uh, completely out of sight. Gordon was supposed to like, look like he was going to jump off the roof. Right. But it was like, we were going to cut when he was still like five or 10 feet away from the

edge of the roof. Yeah. And we had, he had to be on a bungee. Even just five or 10 feet to stop. 10 feet away from the edge of the roof. Yeah. And he had to be on a bungee. Even just five or 10 feet to stop. 10 feet, yeah. On a bungee with like a stunt coordinator present. Really?

And like a pad on the ground underneath just in case. Crazy. Like all this stuff. Wouldn't it be crazy if he just went for it? It would have been amazing, right? Yeah. But like that's how careful it is. And he was like, surely this can't, you know, like we have to.

This is ridiculous. But they were like, no, man, we can't do it like without. I get that. Yeah, I kind of do too. So that's why I think the explosion thing is important. It does look awesome. Not to take anything away from it. Happy accident. Also, doesn't Vivica A. Fox run away from an explosion in Independence Day?

I think she does. Everybody does at some point in that movie. Well, another thing happens that might get picked. And then the dog also runs away from the explosion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bad ass dog.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, they run, but then they have to jump into the side thing. Yes.

And they're like, Barkley! I don't love that movie, but I do love the little pieces of it like that. There are fun little set pieces in the movie. Yeah, I love that. You don't love that movie?

I don't. I think I saw it also just too late. It's like one of those movies where if you see it, I suppose, you have to see it that summer. Yeah, absolutely. I think I saw it also just too late. It's like one of those movies where if you see it, you had to see it too late. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, even, I just remember, like, the first time I saw that trailer where the White House blows up,

I was like, oh, that's cool. And then I didn't see the movie for like 12 years later. See, that's, I went to see it that summer multiple times. I remember the first time seeing it. I might have seen it July 5th. I didn't see it on the 4th, but it might have been the 5th. I was like, shit in my pants,

like, mom, it's God pants like mom I was freaking out Will Smith I need to give you ID4 was such a big thing that like for ages I just assumed it was part of the title it's not it's just like they've added 4 just because of the day it came out

that marketing was strong that was a blitz not Will Smith's first summer won't be his last you know no god he's got some right to see the new bad boys they're doing it wait oh yeah bad for life i don't think the trailer's out okay no i just mean they're going it's apparently uh the spinoff tv series it was gonna be like gabrielle union and jess Jessica Alba was not picked up by NBC. What? Yeah, which seems like a slam dunk. How do you know for all the girls?

I don't know what it was called. Okay. Gabrielle Union, man. I hope that it's like, because Gabrielle Union was in the movie, so I imagine that Jessica Alba is some new character.

I hope she's like a goofy like Martin Lawrence type. Yeah. Oh, I want her to be goofy. I do too. I think that'd be fun. Yeah. I think it's not going to be Gabrielle Union. I'll tell you that. What? She, I want her to be goofy. I do too. I think that'd be fun. Yeah. I think one of them's got to be,

it's not going to be Gabrielle Union. I'll tell you that. What? She's hilarious. She's serious, man. What are you talking about? She's serious now with that new, with that new like,

Protect Your Mother movie that came out. Oh, that movie, but like, have you seen her on Instagram with her husband? It's a lot of fun. Yeah, no, I'm not saying she couldn't, but I want her to be the serious one.

Plus, she's already been in the movies and she's serious in the movies. Yeah. You want her to be Mike Lowry. She's different. She is. I mean, that's why she's dating Mike Lowry.

Mike Lowry. Mike Lowry. What the fuck are you? You look 30. I thought Mike Lowry was here for a second. Just for the listeners who was not. That wasn't Mike Lowry. That was me.

Oh, another great instance of an explosion like that when they subvert it in the other guys, and they turn to look at the explosion, and it just blows them back, and they just hate it. That's great. That movie was so funny too. It's so good.

God. It's so fucking good. Have you ever been near an explosion? Not really. I don't know if I would look either because I'd be running away and crying.

Yeah, I think I'd be scared if I knew something was going to straight up. I've like shot bottles, rockets at stuff soaked in gasoline and things like that. I've been very close

to like large fires but not explosions. Yeah, not explosions. I don't think I've ever been by like a big ass explosion that. I've been very close to large fires, but not explosions. I don't think I've ever been by a big-ass explosion, though. I would be afraid that something would, like a quarter or something nearby, would just explode and hit me. Trapnol is my biggest fear. I can take fire, but something being thrown at me

is where I draw the line. By a fire? When a fire throws it at me? No thanks. When something gets thrown by a natural force like that? That's why I don't fuck with thunder. Like you get Nolan Ryan throwing me a fastball, sure I'll knock it out of the park but not a fire. I don't need a fire thrown at me.

A fire pitching? Get out of here. Chandra Dawson. That arm doesn't get tired on a fire. No, no. Walking away or running away from an explosion? Which do you prefer? You like the calm walk. I like the calm walk. I really think about the Angela Bassett where it's just like because the running away is

like the walking away is like yeah i did it yeah yeah i fucking did it yeah yeah like when everybody else is running and you're just walking i can't be sure this happened but i feel like it oh no it definitely did in a man on fire with den Washington. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Title scene. Yeah. Yeah, of course. I love that movie. It's great, dude. A man can be an artist in anything. Is that the one with Dakota Fanning, or is that Deja Vu? Yeah, Dakota Fanning is

that one. Yeah. Creasy Bear. It's really good. God, that might have to make an appearance this weekend. Oh, yeah, dude. Big plan. In the Fortress of Solid Dudes. Yeah, all day. Fortress of Solid Dudes. God, that's a dang thing. Yeah, but yeah.

No, Walking Away from Explosion. That's my first one. Danny, it is time for your first pick. I think for my first pick, I'm going to choose When the Villain Says, We're Not So Different, You and I. Oh! The face-off! The face-off!

Oh, I love that shit! Sometimes when it's like the hero has a gun to him, he's like, we're not so different, you and I, Mr. Bond. And then they always get out of it. Sometimes they'll be like, they'll just have been like beat up, you know? Yeah. And they're like, you don't know me at all. Yeah, that's how the hero's so mad. You think you're the good guy?

He like spits blood away. He spits it on the ground. I'm not a villain. You're the ground. I'm not a villain. You're the villain. I'm nothing like you. You're a murderer. We're nothing alike. And then he shoots him.

Here's the difference between you and me. Then they spit the blood. I wear hockey pads. I wear hockey pads. I wear hockey pads. I do wear hockey pads. I don't have a police sniper aiming at me right now. What?

We planned that. I told him I was going to say the line and it worked. I didn't even think about that today. We're not so different. Oh, yeah. We're not so different. You and I are great. I think someone made a straight up super cut of people saying that in movies.

And I never think it's that big. Like, I always go like, yeah, it's this line. But I don't realize how often it happens until. Yeah. I'm going to watch that when I go home. Yeah. Have you ever said that or even had the urge to say that to someone in real life? No.

Yeah. You say that, you got to know that like you're an evil person. You're saying it to someone that's like. It's a bad act. Well, you guys are crazy. I'm going to say it all the time. You know what a cool time would be to say it? Before you cross somebody up in basketball.

Oh, shit. Could you imagine? Could you imagine? We're not so different, you and I. I'd be like, we're very different. You just crossed me. I can't do that. Your ankles are broken.

Now we're different. You can't walk because you broke your ankles. We're very different, you and I. It would be so cool. I think that's's a lot of people don't realize that that's a big thing jordan used to say to people we're not so different you and i yeah cross them off damn yep just said it like a fucking difference between you and i haynes also so much money gary would be like michael jordan so it's come to this. We're not so different, you and I, Mr. 23.

Listeners, it's summertime. If you want to go to a playground and record a You Do and We're Not So Different, you and I, and then crossing someone up, even if it's just a friend, and send that in. Find a child. We'll send you five all-fantasy everything bucks, which are not redeemable anyway. Or real bucks.

Yeah, they're not real bucks either. They're not even papers that we have. More of a feeling that you can enjoy. We'll send you some vibes. Either way, I feel like it's just a good thing. I think ping pong, you could do it. I think you could do it on a pool. I think it's a really good way to serve somebody. Sometimes I'll say that shit to a big

tray of Panda Express before I eat it. We're not so different, you and I. We're not so different, you and I. Slippery shrimp. You, a cream cheese rangoon. Me, also a crusty thing with cream cheese inside. Soon enough. The hunter has become the hunted.

Wait, that's another one. Oh, well, but it's in the same realm. That's fun to say to your Panda Express. That's great, though. I love it. Yeah, that's good, man. Yeah, we're not so different. Do they actually say that in Face Off?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. They have to. They have to. If you got a line where he says Face Off, yeah, he's him. Also, I was at the Getty today. Yeah, you were. I heard that. You know what I learned?

So when was the last time you saw Face Off? Is it at the Getty? It Yeah, you were. I heard that. You know what I learned? Huh? So when was the last time you saw Face Off? Is it at the Getty? In a decade. No, it's not. It should be. I thought there was like a big shootout part. I thought you were going to say it was at the Getty. I've never been to the Getty.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I was looking at a sculpture. Castor and Pollux were brothers in Greek mythology. I had no idea. Because Castor and Pollux Troy in Face Off. That movie is insane. So good. It's so bad that it's great.

Yeah. That movie is fucking awesome. All the face waterfalls. Oh, man. It's like I'm looking at myself, only not. Or when they take the ice light, his voice is just like, peach. I could eat a peach for hours. I could eat a peach for hours.

That's as bad as Laker Girls to me. Oh, yeah. It's way creepy. I could eat a peach for hours when you when you take that's as bad as laker girls to me oh yeah it's way creepy when he's she sits down and he goes if i were to send you flowers wait if i were to let you suck on my tongue would you be grateful you're like he doesn't know that oh dude he doesn't know weird nicholas cage like suck on my tongue when you give two over act like two dudes like Nicolas Cage and John Travolta, you're like, alright, you guys don't even have to, you get to be the other person in this movie. I'm sure they're both like, what?

Are you fucking serious? What's the budget, dog? I'll do it for free. I can be, John Travolta's like, I can be Nicolas Cage. I would love to be in the room when they do that thing where it's like they meet each other to learn what each person is like. Just being in the room with them together like they're stuck in a cabin just learning how the other person is crazy.

Oh, God. That would have been nuts. See, that's the movie I want to see. I don't give a shit about Jim Carrey being Andy Kaufman. Show me the movie. For real. Right? Show me the movie where those two figured each other out.

I didn't even see Man on the Moon, and I'm a stand-up comedian. I don't care. Yeah, I don't care. But I want to see those two. They're just watching each other move and mimic. Oh, that would be so good. I want to get the O.J. Made in America treatment. Six parts, ten hours.

Yeah, I would. I would absolutely watch a season of Ryan Murphy's feud that's just about them learning each other's patterns. That would be amazing. I think we've got... I think this thing's got a pitch. We got a pitch. FX if you're listening. We might need to cut this out.

A lot of execs listen to this and they're headhunting. Marissa, add one long air horn over the last five minutes of the podcast. So as I was saying. Sorry about that barge that crossed the LA River outside. We had nothing to do with it. We recorded on a barge. Okay, it's time for my first pick. And my first pick is going to be when someone is close to cracking a case,

but then the FBI comes in and takes it all over. Yes. This is my case, God damn it. With their windbreakers. I was this close. And it's like,

sorry, it's in the Bureau's hands now. Then they have to go rogue. Yeah. Yeah. That shit happens fucking rush hour. Yeah. Oh,

I love it when that happens. When the windbreakers pop in, sometimes they're getting out of a helicopter and they're doing that ducking under a helicopter thing that they always do. And they're always wearing glasses. Ducking under a helicopter. It happens at the end of the A-Team. The movie.

Because it's Jonhan. That's the only reason I remembered that. Yes. Really? I used to, I tried to do a bit about that, about like, why do people duck like they haven't, it should take one head getting cut off before the helicopter blade is high enough where you don't have a duck under it like just i think it's just terrifying probably probably and it's probably kind of fun too kind of fun too i'd do it and you've seen people in movies do it you're like oh what am i gonna be in a helicopter again i guess i better do the duck thing what are you doing this is my case not

anymore it's not not. Not anymore. Bureau's taking over. It's federal now. Yeah, that's what it is. It's always like, you're out of your jurisdiction. But I've been working this case. You're out of your jurisdiction.

Yeah. They found another body in Virginia. This is federal now. Yeah. Yeah. Across the river, that's state lines. This is my case.

I also love when it immediately backfires when it's like the FBI is carting the villain away and then the villain escapes and then the original guy has got to go after them. Yeah. Looks like the FBI wasn't qualified. Now we have to do it with the better service, the LAPD. The much more qualified law enforcement.

Looks like Axel's back on the case. The Kern County Sheriff's Office. Yeah, it's always like that. The theme comes back in, but it's dramatic now. Yeah. I never thought about it, but cop movies are almost always underdogs. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Like, it's never the good cops who solve the crime. Cops who are never underdogs are always the underdogs. It's always like, Taggart, you can't solve this. You smoke cigarettes and your wife died. They make them underdogs. I'll show you.

They make them underdogs by going like, but there are bigger cops. Yeah. It's like, okay. He's still a scary dog. That's just a wolf. Yeah. You had a movie about the president and it's like the world president just came in.

It's like, what? But this is my era. It's like, not anymore. It's not. They found a body in Canada. This is the world president. He crossed state lines. This is a world case now.

Sorry. UN's taking over for this one. Ban Ki-moon is in charge now. Boutros Boutros is coming out of retirement. Oh, man. Boutros Boutros, golly. If not Boutros Boutros. Check it.

Yo, boy. Boutros Boutros Boutros golly. God, that killed. Sasha Baron Cohen, man. Fucking funny dude. Guy is funny. Look out for Detox. Yeah, it's coming.

It's coming. Look out for Detox. Yeah, so I just love when the FBI comes in, overthrew it, and just takes over the case. It's so fun. And the guy or girl is just like, fuck. Whoa, damn it. It's so fun. Because they were so close.

They get to their dark side of the soul. We're just like, all of this research, all gone. These photos, which kind of look like these photos. Wait a minute. Yeah. Wait, now we're getting into other tropes. I'm sorry. They have some theory that they're like, you know, ends up being true.

But the FBI is like, that's ridiculous. We're doing this by the book. The FBI is always dumber than the candlestick maker. Yeah. And the candlestick maker. Get out of here. Jenkins. This is why you're a local cop.

That's why you're local. You're always going to be local. Yeah. And at the end. Okay. Anyway. All right. Sure.

Chantel Jordan. Now I gotta be honest. I'm having to think a little bit on my feet because I just saw movie tropes. I didn't know we were doing stuff that we were like into and I'm going to do, I'm going to be able to do that. But I just thought we were doing. Can I bring something movie tropes. I didn't know we were doing stuff that we were into, and I'm going to be able to do that. Can I bring something up? Yes. I feel like the last few weeks,

Sean's not been drafting with his heart, and I don't like that. Oh, this is true. I don't like that you're doing that. No, when I saw movie tropes, I just was like, what are movie tropes? And I just went over the biggest things that I kind of... What did you think?

What was one of the ones you would have drafted and say you went first i'll make it my first pick oh okay but i'm just telling actually i'll make it don't you fucking little boozy me i'm not and don't you dare this is different than fucking littles and youngs because i know a lot about movies so the first one i'll do just playing a little jazz over here while i'm listening to these picks something that i'm really into okay is uh when there's a drug bust and they're like, is that cocaine? And then the cop walks up with his knife, cuts it open. Yes!

That was going to be my next pick! He takes his pinky and he gums it and he goes, yeah, boys. That's 100% Bolivian. I love it! They don't even say yes, they just go, pure Colombian or something. He just looks up at the clock on the wall at 4.30. Yeah, I have fucked a Bolivian hooker before. It's about that time.

It's always the pinky. It's always the weirdest thing for coke. It's like, mucha coca. I don't know if I'd know it if I gummed it. They're supposed to be cups. I'd know. You would know. Have you ever tasted cocaine be cups. I know. You would know. Have you ever tasted

cocaine? No. But how am I supposed to know if it tastes any different than like sugar or baking soda? Cocaine tastes horrible. Day one on the force they do like the Pepsi challenge but with cocaine and just sugar and like

baby powder. That's true. We've replaced Dr. Jenkins' sugar with cocaine. Like, all right, everyone grab your plastic knives. You can still do the little flip-em-out move,

but you gotta take a little bit of each. Or you know what's kind of tight, too, is when they'll take their knife and just kind of get a little bit on there and fucking do a bump.

Yes. Goodfellas has that guy where he smiles. You know, they taste the cocaine. Does he smile all creepy? Yeah. I love it. I love that. You know what cocaine tastes like. The sense of smell and the sense of taste are inextricably different. I know, they taste the cocaine. Does he smile all creepy? Yeah. I love it. I love that.

You know what cocaine tastes like. The sense of smell and the sense of taste are inextricably different. I mean, the back of my throat knows what it tastes like. I feel like if I tasted

a white powder and I was like, I don't know what this tastes like, I'd be like, oh, that's probably cocaine. Yeah. Listen,

you guys, I'm going to say, I've tasted a bunch of different white powders. I for sure, and I'm not even a cop. I know I would, I can put my finger in

and know that it's cocaine. Cocaine tastes like powdered batteries. Yeah, exactly. It's so bad. That's a pretty good way to say it. You're making a mistake assuming that I know what a powdered battery tastes like. Oh, you got to have a powdered battery. Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were living. I thought this was Los Angeles. All right. Is this an Oregon thing? Yeah, we do a lot of powdered batteries. Is that a voodoo donut secret menu item? They'll put them on the voods. or something. Is that a voodoo donut? They got a secret menu item.

They'll put them on the voods. Also, somebody called us out recently where it was like... What drugs do you do? We don't do drugs that often, and also we don't encourage any of our listeners to also do drugs, but we're going to tell you exactly what's going on with our lives.

And I'm going to tell you what I know. I know what tastes like what. I'm not going to lie to you. You got some narcs listening? We got a narc listening. If I talk about drugs that i have done yeah don't think that i do them i have done meth before i don't do that you just offered that up that's why i'm picking my neck over here dude no i mean i'm just saying it's like you you know you can't take that shit so seriously yeah yeah like i told you to do drugs. No. No. Don't rugs. You called it that. Yeah.

So hopefully you won't have to go through that. I was raising the projects. Roaches and rats. Yeah. Jokers out back. Selling their mama's sofa. Anyways. That was a great pick.

I was trying to remember. We could come into the HeadGum studio and give you both the truth and the jokes. Roping glass everywhere. People pissing on the stairs. You know, they just don't care. Can't take a smell. Can't take the noise. Got no money to move out. I guess I got no choice.

Burglars, gamblers, hustlers, scramblers, pickpockets, peddlers, even panhandlers. I love when he says, can't turn around, broke my sacri-iliac. Yeah. Sacri-iliac. You know he actually did at some point, because otherwise, why would you know sacri-iliac? Oh, yeah, exactly. I only looked it up because I heard it in that song and I'm like, what the devil? Sacra Iliac.

Yeah. I also like that he, his kid just watches soap operas. Yeah. All my children in the daytime, Dallas at night, can't even see the game or the Sugar Ray fight.

Which is also like, you're the dad, you went to work, you're just gonna come home and be like, oh man, I can't wait to watch Sugar Ray. Oh dang it,

he got to his first. Junior's watching Dallas. It's the 70s, you can still kick your kids. Anyways, the boy needs it. Broken glass everywhere. Oh, dang it, he got to a first. Junior's watching Dallas. It's the 70s, you can still kick your kids. Anyways, the point is. Broken glass everywhere. Yeah, that's why, because he threw them

out the window. It starts with that crack sound and it's like, oh, there's broken glass. It sounds like you did it. Yeah, you broke that glass. He's got his neck out peeing, people pissing on the stairs,

you know, they just don't care. What if that whole song was just his? Yes, he did can't take the smell can't take the burning cash I don't want him to move out

I guess I got no choice blew up your girlfriend's car and he's just walking away from his girlfriend's exploding car not looking at it by the way not looking at it never looking at it

cut off my dick my shoes are in the river and I'd listen to that song go to the library eat a copy of The Giver Look at it. Cut off my dick, my shoes are in the river. And I'd listen to that song. Go to the library, eat a copy of The Giver. Don't stop me or I might ship this book. I don't know what we're doing anymore. Yeah, I don't know.

This is the podcast. It's good. It's good. Having fun. What's your next show? Okay, Sean, you had something because you've been talking about this topic for a while. I know, but I think- You said something you've been always wanting to pick for the longest time. It is, but it doesn't necessarily fit what we're doing.

It does. It's a big fucking trope in a movie. I'll pick it. We still don't even know what the title is. All right. This is- Yeah. If it's Niche Geek, well, I'll bring it up.

It is one of my favorites, but it's because it just- I've never seen it in real life. Okay. And it's when people get groceries and there's just a little bit of French bread sticking out of the top of the grocery bag. Yes, that was on my list. The grocery bag. That's completely one.

I see that. Yeah, that's one. Totally. Absolutely. But I just see it and I'm like, I've done bought groceries in my life and never has there been even just a, just a, even a shiver, sliver. And I love that it's all French bread sticking out. My mom ate French bread a lot growing up, and I did the grocery shopping.

Did you guys? Yeah, we had French bread in our house, too. Yeah, I totally had the paper bag. But was it sticking out of the grocery bag on the way home? Yeah, there were smaller sizes. You could get a Demi baguette. It fits in the bag. Yeah, and it's a, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay, so you have your own baguette? Yes. I'm doing well, too, okay. Back in the day when there was only the two bags, like you'd get the paper and the plastic. Right. And I got the paper and the plastic, but you'd be holding it, and yeah, you put all the stuff to the right, and then the baguette, so it doesn't smush. Dude, like, Sarah Lee not existing these days, because it's always a baguette.

It's no other type of bread. Yeah, that's a good point. My mom ate French, like an African, she ate French bread with condensed sweet milk on it. My parents are also African and we, I don't think a baguette has entered my household. Are you serious? No one's ever been here to call you on it.

Looks like they do stuff different in Nigeria. I guess they do. All right. Ian and I always talk about South Dakota and Oregon the same way you guys are talking about Nigeria and Sierra Leone. It's surprisingly similar. I'm just being like, this is the culture. You South Dakotans are a bunch of baguette boys, too.

You come to South Dakota and say that, fool. I'll say it with my jeans on. I feel like you and his team's strong, because I'm going to be saying it too. Also, I'm on the side of baguette poisoning. Yeah. This whole thing is getting all turned around. We're real excited. We all got our guns on each other.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a trope. Yeah. Oh, shit. You better stop pointing that gun at my dad. Is this a Dakota standoff? Come on, man. We are saying so many tropes already.

It's natural. That was the loudest I've ever been on this. I apologize, Marissa. That was the loudest I've ever got. No, we're all peaking tonight. The grocery baguette is the cousin of when they drop a bag and oranges spill out. It's always baguette and oranges. I'm sorry.

That is a different trope, but it's similar. It's in there. It's the grocery trope. The French bread stick. All right. So then it'll work what I'm doing. You guys just all three started so hot with things that you were super stoked on. Oh, and I got some things that are just strange. You can fuck it up new wave style and put it in the front of a bicycle basket.

You could? Yeah. You could? Oh, yeah. You can get a smaller piece of bread that way. By the way, I also used to do the grocery shopping. You put the bags on the handlebars on the side. Yeah. Then you got to balance them out.

Yeah, I'm an athlete. Okay, fair. They always hit my knees, and when you turned, it would get all kitty womp on it. Yeah, well, it's hard being mom's little man, isn't it? I don't know what you want me to say. Is that a big dog shirt? Yeah. It's hard being mom's little man.

It's the bootleg one my mom made. We didn't have a lot of money. It's called Lil Pups. Lil Pups. It's just a big dog in overalls. It's hard being mom's little man. It's a scowling corgi. It's got that like puffy paint that you made it a sleepover.

Yes. This is my new little pup overall set. Go home. We don't even like you. You're just here because our moms are friends. Sorry. That was a weird. I had a couple of those friendships.

Yeah. That was a, that was a weird, that was a weird insight into my life. What's your next trope? Tasting the cocaine, French bread, sticking it in the groceries. My second trope is going to be, it's a bigger one. It's less specific, but I still love it.

I just love when the bad guys, for no reason, have British accents. Yes, I know. They're all from Britain. They're all from Britain. It's crazy. And all their henchmen are Americans. Yeah, unless they're also British. I legitimately think that they want the new British because they want audiences to be like, oh, man, he's smart.

He might pull this off. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. They know something we don't. Yeah. We just don't trust British accents. That accent, he's repetition.

There's that whole Jaguar commercial about it. There is, yeah. Like, what's Tom Hiddleston and everybody, they're all talking about, we're villains in the movies. In Star Wars, anyone who's not Darth Vader, Darth Vader was played by a Brit and then everyone else is like, you know, British,

Admiral Piet or whatever. Yeah, and then they dubbed over his voice. I guess they were like, no, it's not evil enough. Yeah, yeah. Well, you can't have like Darth Vader looking like that

being like, hello. He's got like a Scottish voice. Yeah. I think you should have a week with this. Don't let it happen again. It worked with Bane. True, true.

It did. Well, I heard that Tom Hardy came in with that voice. Like, they were gonna have Bane sound like way more bassy. And Tom Hardy came in

like with a high kind of British thing and they're like, alright, that works. But I heard that was his call. Nobody cared who I was when I put on the mask. And they're like, oh, yeah, fuck it.

It sounds so cool. It does. Was I the only one when that movie came out? I was talking like that for like, man. Oh, dude. In my house, especially me and my roommate Andre, literally anything you could have said about anything, we'd be like, I was bored with not enough toothpaste.

Every line in that movie. Do you remember the band The Darkness? No. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so we were talking about like if they were, you know that, I believe in a thing called love, just listen to the rhythm of my heart. Oh, yeah, I do remember that. And the thoughts we can make up now.

If Bane like knew The Darkness and he goes, you think The Darkness is your ally? I went to high school with The Darkness. I believe in a thing called love. That was written about me. I'm open for them that yeah that Bane voice

was like a part of my personality for six months people hated on it when it came out I liked it I liked it as soon as he started talking I was like

this dude is the shit I remember when the first trailer dropped I was deep into like just being that guy on the internet who's like commenting on everything

and it's just like that first trailer dropped and I was just like I don't know about this voice and they redubbed it for the next ones and i was like whoa this is fucking crazy because the first trailer was a little it was a little wonky yeah you couldn't hear what he was saying but as soon as like they dropped that clip where it was like the first seven minutes like it doesn't matter what our plan is because even in the movie it like the it seems like the rest of the sound shuts off when he's talking it's fucking sick i might go home and watch that shit. It might have to be watched.

People don't like The Dark Knight Rises. I think it's great. I like it too. A lot of people don't like it. A lot of people don't. And I think it's just because it was like The Dark Knight was so high that for The Dark Knight Rises to be anything,

it's like, yeah, you can't. I like other basketball players, even though Jordan was a basketball player. Sure. I think we're in a room of people who just want to enjoy something like that. When The Dark Knight Rises came out, I wanted it to be good. I didn't

want to hate it. And then I saw it, I was like, fuck yeah. It's great. Back break. I love most movies. I do too. I really didn't see a movie I didn't like until I was like 15. I remember, I was just going to say, I still remember the first movie I ever saw that I didn't like, Family Stone. I remember standing up at the end of the movie and just be like, this is

bad. I'm sorry. Silent Hill for me. I remember I went to the movie theater. The Animal for me. Yeah. The Animal. With Rob Schneider. Popular Rob Schneider vehicle. The Animal. Rachel McAdams is in that movie. She is. Early McAdams. Marissa has something to say. Did I do something?

No, she's turning on the AC. Oh. For some reason I thought she was like turning on a speaker. It's like, nah, this is boring. She's turning us off. What else is on? Different topic. She just flips it to Nicole Byers' podcast.

Which you guys should listen to. Why Won't Anybody Date Me? She's so funny. Yeah, I love it. So many movies. The Jungle Book. All of them. The bad people are just all British.

What was it? Scar was British in The Lion King? Yeah. Die Hard. And they were brothers. Scar Mufasa were brothers. Yeah, one of them's British. One of those Jeremy Irons. Yeah.

Wait, was Jeremy Irons in a Die Hard, too? Wasn't he in Die Hard with a Vengeance or Amaya Psycho? He was in Die Hard with a Vengeance. He was, right? Yeah, so was, funny enough, a little tidbit, Sam Phillips, who did all the music for Gilmore Girls. Oh, really? He was one of the villains in Die Hard.

No shit! In the real Die Hard? Yeah, in the third one. In the real Die Hard? Well, like the first Die Hard. No, in Die Hard with a Vengeance. Are you talking about the documentary or the movies? My Die Hard?

What are you talking about? My Die Hard. I thought you meant Die Hard 1, which is when I started going through the Rolodex. That is Alan Rickman. Ridiculous, those villains looked. R.I.P. Alan Rickman, he's playing a German, but he's got a British accent. Yes. which is when I started going through the Rolodex of how ridiculous those villains looked. Alan Rickman, he's playing a German, but he's got a British accent.

Yes. I think that was because he was disguising himself, right? Yeah. And then he just stuck with it? Well, he was an American. He pretended to be American some of the time, right? That was when he met Bruce Willey in the catacombs, and he had a pretty fun, convincing American accent.

Yeah. He sounded like he was really actually kind of scared. R.I.P. It was fun. R.I.P. I still listen to the podcast but rest in peace. I feel like Anthony Hopkins

really kicked it off with Hannibal Lecter where he was just like, this is the most terrifying shit. All villains are British now. Yeah, maybe they did do that. They were like,

alright, British people are scary now. I liked it when he was like, yeah. Oof, that was stupid. I did that on dates forever until I realized you're not supposed to do that.

You were like you know who my model for a good date is? Hannibal. First time you go out with a woman. You need to really be a confident guy.

Always a first date meal fava beans and a nice Chianti. The lady will have I'll meet you at eight. I'll be the one being wheeled in with a fucking... Except I'm going to have a gas mask on that I will not take off.

You got to step it up. I'm going to eat soup through my gas mask. I'm going to vaporize it at the dinner table. Wildly to frame. So that was my second pick. Debbie, it's time for your second pick. My second pick, I'm going with something called the Gilligan cut, which is when in the movie someone goes like there's no way you're gonna

get me to do something then they cut to them doing that thing yeah oh yeah oh yeah i it's like always cheesy and i love now that they are doing things where they subvert it where it's like they'll cut to someone's like oh where'd they go it's like oh they didn't want to come or whatever but like it's just such a funny obvious obvious joke, but it works. Right. I'm never going to go zip lining. Yeah.

I would never sit in the sidecar on a motorcycle on the auto, and then right there on the auto, in the sidecar. Slow down.

If you think that for a second, I'm going to blah, blah, then you must be crazy. Yeah. I feel like it's a lot of times they cut and they're like

wearing something silly. Yes. Making like a face that shows that they really didn't want to do it. I'm never going to dress up like a, like a, I lost it. I lost a bit. By the way, if you think I'm going to do a break real quick right now, you're crazy. This episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by Schedule 35.

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and then cut to him just walking in with the girdle. It's like a trombone playing. It'd be fun to think about a jump cut in your life, like something that you remember saying you'd never do, and then here you are. For me, it'd be listening to Pearl Jam. If you could get me in like eighth grade i'd be like i'm never gonna listen to fucking pearl jam it's snoop dogg and dr drake for the rest of my life yeah you cut to him in ninth grade alone you just saying you're never gonna listen to drake two years ago

and then come to the drake concert in october man that's are we going to drake this year drake oh god we haven't told you yet. Are you serious? No, hold on. Oh shit, I did. Drake Vegas or Las Migos, whatever you want to call it. Because they're

touring together. Las Migos, that's good. Las Migos. Drake Vegas and Las Migos. We have a tradition. We went to Kanye

two years ago, Jay-Z last year. Las, oh yeah, Kanye. Las Vegas I was not there for. I was there for Las Jagus. Las Jagus. And, Kanye. Kanye, I guess I was not there for. I was there for Las Jagas.

Las Jagas. And then this year's gonna be Drake Vegas. Or Los Migos. Or Las Migos. Las Migos. Either way, man, I'm getting another Bloody Mary with everything in it. Oh, we got this crazy Bloody Mary crab leg in that one. Full crab leg.

Imagine if this table was a glass and these mic stands were the stuff coming out of the Bloody Mary. It was crab legs like feet above the Bloody Mary. Imagine sprinting into a doctor's office and being like, I need to get gout as soon as possible. I'm picturing like, alright, alright, alright, I'm going to hand you that. Yeah, it was like thick bacon, olives, alcohol. You mentioned these stands and I'm just thinking of like the spider from Wild Wild West but in a drink. Yeah, kind of like that. That big. Oh my gosh. Sounds tasty. Give me gout, give in a drink. Yeah, kind of like that. That big.

Oh, my gosh. Sounds tasty. Give me gout. Give me it hard. Give it fast. I need it right now. So, AFE listeners, if you want to come, I guess we'll be there. Leave us alone, though.

No, you can come. My Gilligan Cup moment would probably be. Amanda and Steven were there for Las Vegas. They were just in Vegas. True. That sounds like a fun thing. I'm genuinely considering going. Yeah, let's go.

Come with us. I want to go see Drake and Migos. Oh, come with us. You're fully invited. It's so fun. You know what we could do? We could stay at the Luxor. And did you know this, Ian?

You want to tell them this thing about the Luxor? Fun little fact. What? Shaped like a pyramid. Did you know that? Sure is. Shaped like a pyramid. It's fun to act like you're surprised about it.

When you're not inside of it, it's hard to tell. When you go to the Luxor, in the lobby of the Luxor, walk up to someone who's clearly staying there and be like, you know, it's shaped like a goddamn pyramid. Even outside lately? You know another weird thing that happens in the Luxor? Sean Jordan buys a two-foot drink and then pours more rum into it. Oh, my God.

No, no, no. That's not what happened. Sean Jordan buys a two-foot rum drink, drinks half of it, and then pours whiskey in it. Oh! Okay. That's what happened. That's what happened.

We had been there 15 minutes. It was like in the lobby. I went to see Overboard last night, and I smuggled in two tiny little Limeritas in my pockets. And then I got an Icy, and I was like, oh, fuck. I brought Limeritas. I forgot. But I was like, wait a minute. And I drank half the Icy, poured in some of the Limerita, made myself a little cocktail.

It was delicious. I love bringing booze to the movie theater I drank half the Icy, poured in some of the La Merida, made myself a little cocktail. It was delicious. I love bringing booze to the movie theater. It's the best. It's so good. 11 p.m. at night, just fucking being like, I'm high. Or 4 p.m. in the afternoon. We have jobs. Yeah, anytime.

Who's to judge? I have to do a shout-out that I want to make sure I do right now. Sweet. Even though two things are going to happen. Why are you doing that? Shout-out to Ben Oken for coming to the show and bringing us gifts last night. Oh, yeah, shout-out to Ben Oken do right now. Sweet. Even though, so two things are going to happen. Why are you doing that? Shout out to Ben Oken for coming to the show and bringing us skits last night. Oh, yeah, shout out to Ben Oken. That was super cool.

So one thing's going to happen. I'm going to pass around in the, somebody drew from a few episodes ago when I described you with two chainsaws and half a clown wig. Do you remember that? Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of our listeners went ahead and drew that. Oh, my God.

And then, hold on. That on exactly what it would look like a message from jessica lindsey or lince i'm sorry if i'm pronouncing your name wrong but uh jessica either lindsey or lince and and she wants to wish a happy birthday to her best friend Regina. In her friendship draft, you're at least a strong third pick, she says. Oh, I see you, Regina. Love Jess. So shout out to you, Regina. We love you. Happy birthday.

You know who the first two picks are is Cain and Abel, though, so you can't really get above them. Wait, let me pick first, Cain or Abel. Can I do one more shout out and then we can keep going? Shout out to my girlfriend, not my girlfriend, my friend who's a girl from back when we were kids.

Julia Ledeen just graduated divinity school at Vanderbilt. I am so proud of you. Vanderbilt? Yeah, the Harvard of the South? Yeah, that's what they say. I'm so proud of you. I love you so much.

We're not dead. All right, anyways. There it is. Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah. That's'm so proud of you. I love you so much. We're not dead. All right, anyways. There it is. Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah. That's what people from my hometown say to each other. They say we're not dead? It's a weird place. Okay.

Elizabeth, Colorado. Pretty good. Top of the food chain. Home of the British. Just in terms of what you were saying before, what would that be in our lives? Mine would be when two years ago, I was like, no, I don't think I really like musicals.

Cut to now, I'm fucking like. I just stay up until 3 a.m. being like, I'm going to watch West Side Story again. What did it for you? Oh, no, I don't think I really like musicals. Cut to now, I'm fucking like... Stay up until 3 a.m. and be like, I'm going to watch West Side Story again. What did it for you? Oh, sorry, go ahead. Just be fun to do jump cuts in people's lives like that because, oh, everybody would be eating their words. For real.

What did it for me was the first time I went to New York alone, I was like, I'm just going to go see a bunch of musicals in Hamilton and just came out and I was like, this is fun. And then I think months later I saw La La Land and I was like, this is fucking rad. And then I just caught up on the backlog. I'm like, all all of these are good and my favorite movie as a kid was Grease why did I think that yeah you actually wild I loved it though I think I was just like no musicals that's a different type of guy not right I'm not a musical guy nah I'm I'm you can catch me at the Expendables 2 I'll be there with drinks I paid for. Quietly humming a theme song I made up to myself during it.

But not a musical version. I don't like musicals. David Borey, time for your second and third picks. Man, my second pick, I don't even know how I got it. This is crazy. The Come Up Montage. Oh, yeah. The Come Up Montage is dope.

Love a good Come Up Montage. What's your favorite shit i don't even my favorite because i mean scarface is the one i think of i mean push it to the limit yeah that's like full obviously because that's my favorite oh yeah because it's like you know i'm not glorifying selling drugs but he's like he's like like everybody's everybody's selling drugs he's like see and i wasn't, and he's like, see, and I wasn't greedy. I was trying to put everybody on. Everybody eats. And then they're like

all selling drugs, and they all got cool cars. But I like, really, any montage, any learning to do it montage is beautiful. You got a good song to it. I'm fucking ill. Oh my god. What's the montage in that movie Break-In where like

and you guys can't see my hands I wish but it's like he tries to do the wave with his hand. It looks like he's showing, remember in Top Gun where they're showing how fighter jets. Yeah, that's how it was first. The white lady's trying to do it that and then Ozone grabs her hand and like makes

it liquid and then she starts like and then she pops it out. But like, I mean, I love, yeah, I don't have a favorite. I thought you were saying like break in,

like it's a crime movie, but literally the way your hands were angled, I was like, oh no, that's hip hop. Oh, break in. Oh yeah.

Like to put a little something on it. Well, uh, I mean, is this, is this like Rocky montages too? I mean, I think, I's a peak montage.

I think more I like it because Rocky is like a training montage. So you're the come up, the get money. I like the come up, the get money. And then in the beginning, you were a plucky young upstart, but by the end, you're like a seasoned pro. You know what I mean? Like that middle chunk. Or like in Belly when he's like knowledge had the whole area clicking like that part where there's when they're selling dope in omaha yeah i

guess i watch a lot of movies where they sell dope yeah i just watched belly like a week ago so you know exactly what i'm talking about yeah yeah singing devil's pie yeah yeah and dmx is like opening bricks in his kitchen and then like, using Vaseline? I don't sell drugs. Yeah, it is weird when he gets just that handful of Vaseline. You're like, that's gross, isn't it? Isn't that gross? There's nothing good about a handful of Vaseline.

What does he do with a handful of Vaseline? He coats his like, he coats the drugs with it. He coats the wrapped up drugs with it? Yeah, something. Yeah, I think that way if feds grab it, it slips right out their hands. That's it. Throws it right up the old prison. A lot of people don't know that.

That wily coyote. It's getting away. You cover your bricks and vassals and you'll never get caught. They're like, is this cocaine? And they try to go for it with the knife and it just slips right away. We have you dead to rights. Had me. Do you, officer?

Why don't you try and pick up that brick over there? It slips into the ocean like damn it the evidence then he's got his tongs and he runs away the come up montage great pick

your third pick my third pick is gonna be the hot wire a car oh yes mine always always takes two seconds

yeah and it's always like there's either there's a couple types of hot wires yeah there's one hot wire where it's like

of course but then there's a hot wire where it's like, of course. But then there's a hot wire where, like, the nerd does it. You know what I'm saying? You're like, how did you do that? And they, like, say something weird like, you know, I went to state school or something like that. One quick, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I love it.

I feel like there's one. My mom had a lot of boyfriends, you know. My uncle owned a junkyard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's a woman, it's always just, like, grew up with brothers or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, what? Dad wanted junkyard. Yeah. If it's a woman, it's always just like, grew up with brothers or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, what? Dad wanted a son.

Yeah, that's always what it is. My name is Sam for a reason. There's a Hotwire in Menace where they're stealing that fucking, that Maxima. And they get in and all they do is take a screwdriver and jam it in the ignition and it just turns on. Oh, well, here's the thing. Are you fucking kidding me?

I don't know about that, but I've heard that that's how you steal a motorcycle. It's that easy. It's so crazy when I see that. You just pop the ignition. You want to know if that's true. One of the ways is there'll be a shock. Like, whoop!

Yeah. Also, is that real? You tie the wires together and then now the car's just on. I don't understand what they're doing. Hot wiring? I don't know either. I think it's just like-

It's gotta be kind of real. It's gotta come from somewhere. Does it? I've seen a lot of wild stuff. I feel like hot wiring has gotta be harder than it is ever shown to be. I love that now in movies

because so many cars are just digital, they will just have someone in a computer just press a key and the car will turn on. That's so cheap. Although,

greatest scene in Fast and Furious 8 is that. It's Charlie's throne just remotely going like, here we go. And then it's like cars just fucking zooming down the street. Oh, that was incredible. Seeing that in theater, I've never screamed so much at a scene. I still haven't seen that movie, Fate of the Furious.

Yeah. What? I still haven't seen it. That is crazy stupid. It's on the home box office, I think. It sure is. I don't have it anymore on my personal computer. It's just in the living room.

You don't have home box office on your personal computer? I don't have home box office on my personal computer anymore. You got to get back on the home box office, I think. Sure is. I don't have it anymore on my personal computer. It's just in the living room. You don't have a home box office on your personal computer? I don't have a home box office on my personal computer anymore. You got it back on the home box office. Yeah. I need a home box office on my personal computer as well. I've had a lot of that. That's ridiculous. Listen, guys.

I looked it up. There's a wiki how on how to hotwire a car. Seems like it should be legal. It's not that hard. Plenty of cars parked out here. Is it just put the red wire to the blue one? Well, pull aside the battery ignition and starter wire bundle.

Strip about one inch of insulation from the battery wires and twist them together. See, already you need wire strippers. Connect the ignition. Nobody has wire strippers when they're doing this. Everybody has wire strippers when they're stealing cars. You steal cars with wire strippers, a Slim Jim, and a piece of porcelain.

Porcelain? When you throw porcelain at a car window, it makes it shatter silently. You can take a spark plug and throw it at a car window and it's just like... It goes right through.

If you throw a rocket, the whole thing explodes. I feel like we're just drafting chapters of the anarchist cookbook now. You're drafting summer school between 8th and 9th grade. Here's what you got to do if you want to make sure the cops never find your car. You're drafting why your parents need to afford daycare. Here's what you do when you get picked up. You're drafting don't hang out with the older kids. No, but yeah, people have wire strippers.

My buddy used to have bolt cutters in his car just in case. Just in case. And those are water bolt cutters. Just in case the bolts tried to step. Well, we used to have to cut this bolt. We used to have to like... This guy had this fence. This is an Elizabeth. So it's not like... I'm not like a crazy

guy. That's an I get it. In case Frankenstein attacks. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you need bolt cutters. We used to have to bolt cut. This guy used to chain the fence on. It was technically his property, but it was like a through road. But he would chain his fence so we couldn't go through, and we had to go all the way around to get to school.

And then we were like, fuck that. It's illegal. It's a fire hazard anyways. You're not allowed to do that. So we would, on the way to school, we would hop out of the truck and cut it with bolt cutters and then push through and go to school. And then one day he

chased us. Did he catch you? No, but he chased my buddy Dougie's grandpa a few weeks later and shot out his back window. What? Who is this? Yeah, man, it's just a bunch of people being reckless out there. Shut up. Damn. No, I'm not shutting out that dude. Fuck that dude.

No, not that dude. I'm shutting out Elizabeth. Oh, I thought you said shut out. No. Shut out for sure, though. Shut out that dude. Shut out that window. Demi, it's time to shout out your third pick.

I was going to save this for later, but I think I got to go with it because I'm afraid someone's going to take it. Anyone that says the title line of a movie. Oh, the titular line. The titular line. The Hot Tub Time Machine. The Jurassic Park. The Shawshank Redemption. The Hot Tub Time Machine was fun because

they looked at the camera, right? Shawshank Redemption. I guess this really is the Shawshank Redemption. What do you think you're going to find in here, huh? You coming in for the Shawshank Redemption or something? What if they throw it in in like, because I hate to keep bringing up Scarface, but don't they call him Scarface in the movie at some point? Hey, look who it is.

Scarface. They say, where'd you get that scar, eating pussy? And it's on his face. And it's on his face. It's off the audio. They don't condescend to their viewer. It's far back and I can remember I always wanted to be a Goodfellas. I also love the joke of the fake title line.

It's always funny to me. I like it when he says, we gotta go back to the future. Yeah, he does say it. We're gonna go back to the future. What's that, Oscar? Why this? This is my list.

I guess you could call it Schindler's List you could and then he looks down the barrel of the camera and stares for half an hour oh I love that it's a long movie a lot of people

are on Schindler's List it is very it's actually just 90 minutes it's just black and white so it seems like it's three hours yeah that old trick

that's how they get you right there This is a short film but it's in black and white now Breezy if it was in color Yeah that is a great trope They say it all the time in Rocky It's annoying Rocky Two

Rocky Balboa Three Rocky Balboa Creed yeah that's a great I love that I do love it when they do that have you guys seen that old UCB sketch

that is the guy who claims he has the title line in Star Wars yes yeah that's so good I had the titular line

I'm just so sick of all these Star Wars I can't wait to get out of Africa that is so good. Oh, yeah. The Tertiary Line, that's great. And that sketch is good, too.

Any movie that has a title line in it is up one star to me, I think. I know we said it already, but Face Off is like... Yes, the best one. I want his face off. And then Howie Mandel, best role of his life. Howie Mandel's in that? No, it's not Howie Mandel. No, it's not. It's definitely not Howie Mandel. Are you thinking of John Travolta's in that? no it's not Howie Mandel no it's not

it's definitely not Howie Mandel are you thinking of John Travolta? it's a bald guy that was a weird oh Mr. Clean that was a weird pick even for a second

that I thought that was Howie Mandel it's weird that you were even thinking about Howie Mandel it is swimming around your brain anyway

the bald gentleman who laughs at him and tells him how crazy you're crazy maybe you think it's Howie Mandel because you're having a Mandel effect

oh there it is the Mandel, because you're having a Mandel effect. Oh! There it is. The Mandel effect. Look at this. Both barrels. Both barrels, right down Main Street. I remember seeing the face-off teaser, like, years after the movie had come out, and it is still, like, the greatest teaser I've ever seen. It's just, like, Nick Cage talking,

the camera slowly goes around his head, and as he continues talking, like, gets to the back of his head, and then as it continues spinning around, it's John Travolta's face. And his voice slowly morphs into John Travolta's. And it's this entire monologue about how he's just like, the technology has now happened where you can take someone's face off. And I'm just like, if I had seen this, I would have been in 1,000% for what I was like. Also, it's not technology. When you watch that movie, they just laser around his face and pull it off.

Yeah. And then they put it on a mannequin head. I would have loved to have been doing cocaine and pitch at movies back then. It would have been so... You got $30 million. That's a whole different life trajectory. If I could have gotten myself into pitch rooms

with cocaine... Are you kidding me? The Wolf of Wall Street would have been about an actual wolf. Yes. Yeah. First of all, Last Tango in Paris would have been a very different movie. Freddy got fingered. Would have been the same.

Would have been the same. Exactly the same. It is time for my third pick. And with my third pick, I'm going to take someone dreaming about making out with someone else. And then when they wake up, they're getting licked in the face. Yes, that was all I missed, too. That's the best. I was just watching The Mask.

Yeah. Yes. So many Jim Carrey movies did that. I think it happens in Bruce Almighty, too. That's Jim Carrey's favorite joke. Yeah. He's just like, all right, can we add a scene where my dog licks my face? And it's like, your specific dog from home?

It's like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I've never owned a dog. Right, you did. Has that ever happened in real life to anyone even once? There's no way. I woke up to a puppy peeing on me.

What were you dreaming about? What? What were you dreaming about? Not water. Getting pissed on, dog. Having a girl pee on me. Getting pissed on, dog. Now, I woke up to a dog pissing next to me one time, like right on the same pillow

that my head was on. Oh, damn. I was like a hundred percent sure you were going to say right on the floor where I was sleeping. I was sleeping on the floor. Oh, okay. It was for sure. It was the day that I found out Nicole was getting married.

Nicole! Oh no, really? I woke up. So it was a harbinger of things to come. So I woke up, I had seen it on Facebook the night before and then I woke up. So it was a harbinger of things to come. I had seen it on Facebook the night before, and then I woke up. She called me at like 9 in the morning, and she's like, hey. And I go, you getting married? And then we had our words or whatever.

And then I was like, well, I'm not going to sleep for like months, so I'm going to try to go back to sleep since I'm tired. And I woke up, and the dog was pissing on the other side of the pillow that my head was on. Damn. I was just like, is it going to be that kind of couple months, huh? It sucks that you had to be that guy who was like, you're getting married, you bitch. She's like, this is a reasonable thing I can do.

I was just bawling. I was like, it should be me. Oh, Sean, you didn't have to tell that part of the story. I'm honest. What am I going to shy away from it? That was fun. You got to lean into it, you know? I would have.

I could. Probably would have been healthier. I'm comfortable with my- We're going to be honest about the drugs. We're gonna be honest about the things that make us do drugs. That's why I have so many cocks on my clothing, because I just, you know, I need to try to overcompensate. Hat sauce. Game cocks. It should be called hat sauce.

I mean, it is called hat sauce. That's what we're doing. The Sriracha hat. Hat sauce. Hat sauce. Yeah, so you're in agreement. It happens in the mask. It happens in a lot of stuff. There was a dog licking happens in the mask and dodgeball like yeah there was a dog licking his crotch and he's like oh baby

through the 2000s it was just like that was a peak trailer moment in what in like the 2000s like every comedy with Vince Vaughn it would have that shot in the trailer where he's

waking up because of a dog oh oh oh oh you're a bad girl oh no it was a dog yeah yeah just like hey go say Vince Vaughn stuff, but there's, you know, it's going to be a dog licking you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Down there. You know, the Vince Vaughn stuff.

But do you know, like, if it's swingers, Vince Vaughn. Do you know Vince Vaughn stuff? Do you know a little maid in there, you know? Oh, you saw Honey Baby and you don't even know it. Oh, oh, oh, baby. Sean, it's time for your third and fourth picks. All right. For my, this is always, this is always one that's just bugged me.

So it's in, like, hacker movies when things are going crazy and someone just goes like, they cut the hard line. What's the fucking hard line? I don't even know what it is. They're just like, well, I can't do anything now. They cut the fucking hard lines. We're locked out. We got a firewall.

Show me the hard line. I'm no hacker. You're a hacker. You don't want it. You're locked out. We got a firewall. Show me the hard line. We're locked out. I'm no hacker. You're a hacker. You don't want to. You're a hacker. That's what you got to say to the people. Like I said, I'm no hacker. All right.

But I did used to work at Target. Yep. We had hard lines and we had soft lines. What's a hard line? It's a soft line. A soft line is the products that are on carpet. Oh, okay. And then the hardline was everything else.

That's what it is, dude. So losing the Hardline's like, fuck, they took all the children's bikes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I think of someone... The cashews, both salted and unsalted. Shit, every copy of Clue just disappeared. I think of someone taking an axe to a wire outside the building. I see just something that's labeled Hardline and someone's got an axe and they just fucking chop it.

Nothing's happening now. All the lights are out. I bet that's what it is. I have to say Hardline, that's labeled hardline and someone's got an axe and they just fucking chop it. Nothing's happening now. All the lights are out. I bet that's what it is. That's what it is. They always look back. They look back, their face bathed in a green glow. What happened? They cut the hardline. They cut the hardline.

Can't do anything. How could they? Wait. I'm locked out. Can't do anything. Type, type, type, type. I for years thought hacking was just fast typing. There is a website called HackerTyper. It's the best. It's so good.

You can just go to it. Just Google HackerTyper. That's what will come up. And you just hit keys and it'll make it look like you're hacking something. I used to go to the mall and just go to the Apple store, just open up HackerTyper on one computer, just like type a bunch, hit the key that said like entry granted, then go to another computer and do the same shit. So you should walk in with an attache case, one of those metal briefcases,

just open it. Immediately shut the laptop back and then just like put on sunglasses and leave. It's time to move. Moving out. Okay, that's pretty cool. I'm gonna have to get back to that yeah dude

I just wanna sit at home with our sunglasses on just a bottle of Hennessy on the table just heck type type type type some chemical brothers

going real loud oh and always anytime yeah it's always chemical brothers or dust brothers some techno brothers what's that fucking movie

about hacking? The Matrix? No. Hackers? Hackers? But also. Swordfish. Swordfish.

I was like, oh shit, it's a double helix. And he like crosses his hands. Oh, greatest hacking scene in all of history. Have you guys seen the movie Lucy? No, I haven't. First of all, that movie is fucking fantastic. It's so fun. Oh, I have seen Lucy, yeah.

And it's so dumb. Is it with Scarlett Jo? Yes, the one is fucking fantastic. It's so fun. Oh, I have seen Lucy, yeah. And it's so dumb. Is it with Scarlett Jo? Yes, the one where she... She's a computer, right? Some drugs get loose in her stomach because they want to use her to smuggle the drugs. Oh, I have seen that movie. That movie is dumb as hell.

It's dumb as hell, but it's so fun. There's a scene where she's on a plane, literally has two laptops in front of her, is staring in the middle, her eyes are going between, she's typing on both at the same time, has screens popping up and then she just

slowly shuts the screens on both of them as the guy across the aisle just looks at her like what are you doing? Oh god. There's a great edit of that. She got so smart

and then she like disappeared right? Yes. She hits 100% she turns into a USB drive. Like Lawnmower Man? Yes. Isn't that what happened

in Lawnmower Man? Yeah kind of. Except it's just a woman who was on a trip somewhere. And it's over two days. Yes, it happens so quickly. That movie is crazy. I'm going to watch it on a plane. The trailer and the loan for that movie is them going,

it's based on the whole you only use 10% of your brain thing. And then they're like, what happens if she reaches 100? And Morgan Freeman's just like, I have no idea. I feel like it was because Limitless came out. And they were like, we can make some more money off of this. It is Lady Limitless, and I think it might even be better. Ooh, silence in the room. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's more fun.

No, no, I'm just thinking about it. I think it might be better than Limitless. I like Bradley Cooper a lot. I do, too. And De Niro. I love a Bradley Cooper. You look like Bradley Cooper. Oh, oh, oh. Calm down, Rocko.

Now Sean's turning into a USB. Hat sauce, dude. Hat sauce. Can I go to number four? Hat sauce. Number four. Number four is when someone's in a hospital and they didn't know that they were going to be in the hospital and they wake up and they go, I can't be here. And they rip all the shit out of their arms. And the flatline goes immediately.

They just rip all the shit out of their arms and they just run out of the hospital. People do that, though, I think. I haven't had an IV in a long time and I don't know what that would feel like. No, you don't want to. You certainly don't want to just pop out. My boy did it the other day. You done it? Did you really?

Damn. You're like, I can't be here and just rip the shit out? Yeah, yeah. He woke up Matt Orning. That's so buck. That's so buck. I think when, and here's my main thing, a lot of times when you're under,

or when you're in a situation like that, you're also going to have a catheter in. And that's something you cannot just. I want to see someone start pulling them out and then realize they got a catheter. All right, I'll wait. Can you get a nurse? All right, fine. and that's something you cannot just... I want to see someone start pulling them out and realize they got a catheter and be like, all right, I'll wait. Can you get a nurse?

All right, fine. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. My dad tried to... It's not funny, but my dad tried to pull a catheter out one time. I went to see him in the hospital, and I get there, and he's standing up,

and he just had like... Yeah, the nurse is like, he tried to pull it out, and I was like, dad. Holy buckets, dude. To a real life saw trap. It was gnarly. I don't even really like talking about it. Well, he tried to pull it out, and I was like, dad. The catheter is like the closest thing we got to a real-life saw trap. It was gnarly.

I don't even really like talking about it. Well, he didn't get it. It didn't even come close, but he gave it a shot. Were you talking about the head of his penis was gnarly looking? There was blood. Okay, Sean. No, I didn't see anything. This is a family podcast.

Hey. I feel like I'm being very honest. It's Father's Day when this is coming out. Particularly, I'm being honest on this one. I don't know why, but yeah, that was another one. I love it. I celebrate it. Anyway, pulling shit out your arms and getting all the EG stuff off.

Are we going to count The Rock flexing a cast off? Yes. Daddy's got to go to work. When you saw- God, that's awesome. When he broke his arm, I was like, yeah, he's flexing. Of course, they're going to flex that cast off. By the broke his arm, I was like, yeah, he's flexing. Of course, they're going to...

By the seventh movie, they were well aware of what they were. And I'm so glad. They embraced it. Of course. It made it better. I feel like they started

to embrace it around the third movie. Yes. Right after Tokyo Drift. Well, third one was Tokyo Drift. Third was Tokyo Drift. Oh, wait, fourth. So fourth.

Yeah, because third was Tokyo Drift and fourth, they were like, well, let's try and see what happens if we keep it to street racing. And they were like, nah. Nah, we got to get into international heisters. Then they were like, well, let's try and see what happens when we keep it to street racing. And they're like, nah.

Nah, we got to get into international heists. Yeah, then they're like, okay, we'll go to Rio. They'll drive fucking safes down the streets of Brazil. You're going to have dead people coming back, dude. Yes. Flexing off. Daddy's got to go to work. I bet The Rock can flex a cast off.

Oh, for sure. For sure, right? That's how tight the cast is. I don't think. He gets his cast tight enough to do that. I think it would be easier to do on your bicep than your forearm, though. Well, that's what he did. I don't think. He gets his cast tight enough to do that. Yeah. I think it would be easier to do on your bicep than your forearm, though.

Well, that's what he did. Yeah, he did. It was like all his entire arm. Oh, yeah, it was up. He had like a fucking Winter Soldier cast like his entire arm. The whole arm,

you can also kind of sneakily move your elbow into there, too, and like make it kind of like if you got the whole shit kind of like that. Still got to be pretty strong. Here's the thing this weekend.

Yeah, I'm not be pretty strong Break my arm We'll figure this out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the bottom of this will be part of the patreon $1,000 a month I will break my arm and learn to fuck I can't wait to see like the iPhone video and live leak of you trying to like fucking flex your arm to just get worse In the video of us breaking it yeah that's gonna be worth it it's just like ian with a timberland boot like in the departed are you a cop you're like why would you think i'm a cop i never told you i was a cop for years my friend my friend Mike, he broke his wrist skating and he went

into the hospital and he wasn't all the way broken and he's sitting there and he's like, I saw two big dudes walk in and they, he's like,

what's going on? And they grabbed him and the doctor kind of nodded and they snapped his wrist the rest of the way. Cause like they just

had to, they just had to do it by surprise. They just went, oh shit. Isn't that gnarly? You've told like seven, seven terrible stories today. I mean, it's so buck.

Think about that. That one's better than the catheter. He said he was looking around like, wait, what's going on? And then just the doctor. Oh, God. You made my heart drop to my shoes a bunch of times. I want to see someone pull out, pull out the fucking morphine drip or whatever and they try to get out of the hospital and they immediately

just start bleeding. It's like, but those were your... We were taking your blood. You can't... You need that medicine. Someone pulls out the morphine drip, takes a little shot of it real quick and then just gets on their way. That's the move. Pull out the morphine drip, squeeze the bag. Slap the bag.

Slap the bag. Then like push it over and walk out. That's like the beginning of Crank 3. That's how that's got to happen. Yeah. He's got to drink the morphine. Yeah. Also, can you drink morphine? Maybe have a gummy.

Jeff Jealous can. Yeah, he can. I've shared my Jason Statham theory on this podcast before. What is that? I think they're, I love Jason Statham. I love his movies. I think they're making a mistake Statham I love his movies I think they're making a mistake by giving them each different names

like Tork and Crank and whatever Crank and whatever I think Jason Statham movies should be called Jason Statham 1 Jason Statham 2 Jason Statham 3

yeah there's this movie coming out where he fights a giant shark that should just be Jason Statham 9 Jason Statham fights a shark yes just tell us what it is up front.

I'm going to go. Are you going to go see Throttle? Probably not. Are you going to go see Jason Statham 8? Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Without a doubt.

And Furious 6 should be called Furious 6, Jason Statham 7. Yes. Yes. 100%. Yeah, you got it. Damn. It's a crossover. Demi, would you go see my new movie, Jason Statham 7?

Oh yeah. I bought my tickets on Fandango years ago. I love to hear that. Fandango. Oh, we've got your ticket. Yeah, your movie ticket. I used to love that commercial. Before you tell me if you're going to buy a ticket to see my movie, I need you to know

that you're surrounded right now by a team of elite Navy SEALs. Frogmen, Sean. Trained in the art of Krav Maga. What? That's right. What's a Krav Maga? Krav Maga. This is based on...

What the fuck is that? Jason, why are the frogmen around? What? This is based on... You're turning the pinky from Pinky and the Brain. What are the frog men doing here? I was in Vegas with Corden, and we were shooting some stuff, and Jason Statham walked into the hotel we were at.

Classic. Was it the Pyramid Shaped Luxor? No, I wish. It was the hotel. It was the planet-shaped Planet Hollywood. Ah. And they started talking, and just in my head,

we concocted this joke. That's what we think it sounds like. James Corden and Jason Statham have a conversation. I'm like, this is silly. This is a silly thing to see. Jason Statham, short guy, cannonball shoulders. Oh, my God. Jason Statham is in guy, cannonball shoulders. Oh, my God. Jason Statham is in my entourage from way back.

For real. Yeah. Okay, they ripped the IV out. Great pick. It's time for my fourth pick. And with my fourth pick, I'm going to take a thing that only happens in movies and TV and never happens in real life, is when someone's made a big old breakfast, but the person in question doesn't have time to eat it.

Maybe let's grab a toast and take a bite out of it and run out the door. Yeah. It's always so much food. It's such a big breakfast. It's definitely toast, eggs, orange juice. Yeah. It's like toast is what you grab? Toast! You don't think I'm grabbing a pocket full of sausage?

You don't have time. I'm grabbing toast for the road? Who am I? You don't have time to take a piece of bread, put some eggs and some bacon, then another piece of bread? Yeah. They'll drink like half a glass of orange juice out that... Mom, I gotta go. I gotta go, Mom. I gotta go.

I gotta go. Honey, I'm late. I'm late, honey. I'm holding a briefcase. I need to go cheat on you. I gotta catch the train. I gotta get out of here. I can't.

I'm gonna have breakfast with my mistress. Also, I wish they would be real once and be like, and the mom's like, yeah, I gotta go to fucking work too. Yeah. I woke up at six. I knew you had a big day. I cooked 16 eggs. I'm a goddamn doctor. 16 eggs.

He comes home and is like, what's for dinner? It's like the fucking beans you left on the table this morning, you idiot. Cold breakfast. You're a high school kid. I got a job. I signed a piece of paper. You can be late for school. Eat your fucking breakfast. Ike it. Press the 30. You're a high school kid. I got a job. You can be late. I signed a piece of paper. You can be late for school. Eat your fucking breakfast. I ate at my sister's house.

You're eating those cold eggs and I'm going to watch. Yeah. Your first class of the day is gym. I don't give a, like fucking skip it. Yeah, dude. That is, oh, it's so, I think of the opposite of that is in Wedding Crashers when they just, when he's just housing everything. Really loads up

maple syrup on everything. That's what I would do. Yeah, I've never... I don't know that I've ever passed up a breakfast like that. If breakfast has been made, daddy's gonna have breakfast. In this very specific case, I'm daddy. Yeah. I'm the father. Daddy's gotta go to work.

There's not a lot that I would be like, I have to go do this if there's a whole table of breakfast sitting around. I'm skipping most things. Yeah, I'm eating breakfast. I don't care if working for the weekend is blaring in the background. I'm sitting down and eating. Or a Kenny Loggins jam. Yeah, it's one of those.

Sorry, honey, no time. I'm all right. You run out the door, grab your skateboard, you hang on time. I'm alright. You run out the door, grab your skateboard, you hang on the back of a truck. Oh, Skitchin'. Skitchin', bro. Is that what it's called? Oh, no, that was Power Love.

So that's the only song that's not on Huey Lewis's greatest hits, is whatever, like Power Love. Really? Yeah, for some weird thing, like they have the rights to it or some shit. Oh, that's books. That's Dangerfield's call.

Man, that sports album is so great. Oh, God, we saw weird thing, like they have the rights to it or some shit. Oh, that's fucked. I feel like that was Dangerfield's call. Man, that sports album is so great. Oh, God, we saw them live, dude. Oh, yeah? Think about Huey Lewis. Allegedly, biggest dick in Hollywood. Allegedly. Bigger than him, bro? Allegedly.

Do you mean like is a dick or has the biggest dick? Well, so there was a... I've never read the book, but a bunch of groupies got together and wrote a book, so it's probably just about musicians, but he supposedly has a fucking smoking hog, and Peter Frampton does not have a smoking hog as well. Yeah, that's why he painted his face. That's what this book supposedly said. I'll tell you what the news is.

He's got a big dick. How'd you read the news today? It's one picture. One picture, whole paper. It's a real page turner. It's above and below the fold. You get to the end, it's the head of his dick Huey Lewis good for him this is the premier

Huey Lewis's penis podcast yeah make no mistake Huey Lewis and the nudes yeah I love it yes uh

Demi it's time for your fourth pick for my fourth pick uh Sean could you repeat your third pick again just as it would see you'd see it in a movie? Cut the hard line. Oh, yeah.

Hey, we can't do anything. They cut the hard line. English, please. Oh! Well, they poured water on it, you fucking asshole. I don't know what to say. Oh, fuck. The fire was down.

That is a great one. Well, let me... All right, stop. Let me get it in English, huh? Real quick. I don't know all this techno mumbo jumbo. What's a computer? You see these stars?

Count these stars for me. That's five. I'm a five-star general. In English, please. Oh, that's great. Anytime they say English, please. It's like something just... They either said something that was complete gibberish, even if you do know what they're saying, or they said something that's like, that's great. Anytime they say English, please. It's like something just, they either said something that was complete gibberish,

even if you do know what they're saying, or they said something that's like, that's not that complicated. It's pretty basic. You get the general gist, which is it's a problem, so we need to fix it. But they're always just like, uh, I'm sorry. Am I the only one?

Yeah, it's like, we're going to have to put the CD rom drive. We're going to have to put the CD in the drive. English, please. The organism is reproducing at an alarming rate. In English, please. I'm sorry. I'm a soldier, not a doctor. In Fast and Furious, it's always like Tyrese.

He just goes like, well, obviously, I know what that means, but maybe you could repeat it for our friends. Oh, yeah. Tyrese is very stupid. And he doesn't want to do anything. He also does the thing where it's like, no way I'm dropping out of a plane. And then cut to... I'd venture a guess that Tyrese is pretty stupid outside of movies, too.

Don't start people with Tyrese. Billionaire Boys Club. Billionaire Boys Club, right here. Just ratting out Dre. Hey, Dre took that video. Somebody took that video. Dre was in the room with them. It wasn't like Tyrese invented that.

Oh, that's tight. You're telling me the guy who sang Sweet Lady is an idiot? I got Tyrese questions. I got Tyrese answers. That's a new podcast. Tyrese answers. TNA. Tyrese and answers.

When he starts his own advice podcast, he's going to be pissed to find out that name's taken. Damn it. Oh, that's tight, dude. Yeah, English, please, man. That's fantastic. I love it. Anytime it shows up. Uh-huh.

Excellent pick. David, it's time for your fourth and your final pick. English, please. My fourth pick is like, okay, Sean. Yeah. Pretend me and you just had sex. Okay. It's not usually like that.

Oh, yeah. Let me It's not usually like that. Oh, yeah. Let me build it up a little bit. What do you mean? Well, so, you know, it actually happens to a lot of guys. It's nothing to worry about, you know? No, I don't. That's not.

I don't understand what's happening. You know, the girl's like, hey, it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happens to a lot of guys. Yeah, I like it. So you need someone who's been nominated for an Emmy to do it. Yeah, I understand. I understand. I sound like too much of a gangster to get the point across.

I also love, because sometimes they do it in a reverse way, where it's like the woman spins off and she's just like, whoa, it's never been like that before. Oh, yeah. That's the other one. Hell yeah, that's because I have two dicks. It's like, she doesn't know, but I body switched with someone. Yeah, she was fucking my friend. We're bad guys.

I took his dick off. I think it did happen in Face Off. Doesn't he like that? Have you guys met my friend? Why is that not the sequel? Have you guys met my friend Dickolas Cage over here? Hell yeah. Yeah.

Or John Travolva. John Travolva? Dickolas Cage and John Travolva. That's a porn, dude. Ooh, that's a drag name. Dickolas Cage and John Travolva. John Travolva? Nicholas Cage and John Travolva. That's a porn, dude. Ooh, that's a drag name. Nicholas Cage and John Travolva. John Travolva is a drag name. Oh, shit.

That is. Wow. You're welcome, any drag queens. Wow. We're huge. We're huge on the screen. They listen to the podcast. John Travolva.

Every week at Hamburger Mary's, it's just AFE playing over the speakers. Cheating and listening to chavs. Also, shout out to the hamburgers at Hamburger Mary's. I've not had one. Oh, I've never been. I've only been to Hamburger Mary's once. I really only referenced it for the drag brunch. Also, shout out to the hamburgers at Hamburger Mary's. I've not had one. Oh, I've never been. I've only been to Hamburger Mary's once. I really only referenced it for the drag brunch. Oh, yeah.

My friend used to live around the corner from the one in Denver. Oh, yeah? Great hamburgers at Hamburger Mary's. Also incredible drag shows, but like great hamburgers. Gotta go get one. So, you know. Are they really good? Yeah, they're fantastic.

Somebody's told me about this burger place in Pasadena that we should definitely talk about at length on the podcast. I'll bring it up later. Everybody drive from Poughkeepsie to Pasadena. Is it a Toro's Grillhouse? No, I don't think it is. It's something about pies. It's like pies and fries or something. House of Pies?

House of Pies. We'll figure it out. We'll talk about it out there. And here's my final one. I'm going to need Ian for this. Okay. Say diplomatic immunity. Diplomatic immunity.

It's been revoked. Oh, damn! The fucking... Lethal weapon two, dude. Oh, I feel like I can do that better. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You got to be real British when you do it. British?

What do you want? What do you want out of me? Call the play. It's South African. South African. You can't do anything. South African. South African.

South African. Africanus. I can't do it. I can't do South African. It's literally any actual work. I'm going to give it a shot. Diplomatic immunity. That sounded like a cartoon film. Were you a fucking wizard?

I can picture the guy. That's the Jamaican embassy. You sounded like you were saying Expelliarmus. Diplomatic immunity. You know I'm a crazy bald head diplomatic immunity. Boy. Boy, get over diplomatic immunity. I've made it back to Hogwarts

it's all Irie you can't do nothing on school grounds Voldemort diplomatic immunity I am diplomatic immunity I would love to see the Jamaican Hogwarts

oh Jamaican Hogwarts? that would be that's the movies I wanted to see. Get back to class, Mr. Potter. It's just cool runnings with magic. Some people say it, but I can't believe Hogwarts, yes, we have

a great fun wizardry. We got that one, Doris. Hey, Sucker, you dead? Yeah, man, not for long. About to cut off, right? hey Saka you dead? yeah man not for long that's why I gotta listen to the whole episode oh man we go deep that's tight

diplomatic immunity it's been revoked is that a trope? I feel like no no no it's not I'm just talking about the bad guy says something

oh yeah the final kill show yes you say something right before you shoot him not on my earth see you in hell you first fucking boom brains all over the wall dude we can't pick all the cool dry whip i guess we can i'm just saying i'm just saying that last the kill shot yeah saying something cool for the kill shot is yeah oh fuck the uh i don't know if it's the kill shot but in bad boys 2 just like now don't know if it's the kill shot, but in Bad Boys 2, just like,

now that's how you shoot. From now on, that's how you shoot. That's how you shoot. That was so good. That was so good. I mean, all of the movie Commando is like kill shot.

Oh, yeah. I mean, Arnold, all everything. Net off some steam. Net off some steam. Running Man, dude. Running Man. Oh, yeah.

Or like anything Mr. Freeze has ever said. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That whole, Mr. Freeze was all catchphrases. And ten of them were just chill.

Stick around. The opening scene in Batman and Robin where they introduce Mr. Freeze, it's like 30 catchphrases. Just boom, boom, ripping them off. Ice to meet you. Ice to meet you. The thing is, like, he said those even when he was pretending not to be Mr. Freeze, right?

Yeah. So it's just like, I imagine him going like, wait, are you a villain? What's going on here? Wait, hold on. You say ice? Are you going to ice me? No. You want to listen to some music?

Do you have any cold play? Wait, hold on a minute. That's not even a band yet. We're in the trailer now. Did you just invent that band? Yeah, I love the kill shot. Excellent kill shot. One line.

Always great. Excellent pick. Debbie, your final pick? It's a fun name, kill shot. I wondered for a moment what my final pick has got to be. And I think it has to be any moment in an action movie where they're about to swear and then something cuts, like an explosion cuts it off. Oh!

Son of a pfft! Yeah. Mother ffft! Yeah, it's always mother ffft. Or like in the later Die Hards when they were just like, it's PG-13 now. It was always yippee-ki-yay, mother pfft. Yeah. That was so upsetting. It was. That was so upsetting it was that was so upsetting to take such a good classic line and then be like what are you doing with it because i feel like the children were like the dads were gonna take

their kids to see that die yeah you didn't have to go for the pg-13 also my dad just told me what they were they were gonna say fucker but that's what they're gonna get one fucking a pg-13. Also, my dad just told me what they were, they were going to say fucker, but that's what they were going to say. And you get one fuck in a PG-13, so you can still say fucker. Yeah, I saw it get shorty. Oh yeah. Or be cool at me. Or he's like,

you know what I say? Fuck that. Yeah. Always think of that. That was the best, I don't even, I never fact checked that. I don't remember the rest.

There was a documentary, the motion picture one or whatever the rating says. Yeah. Where I think you get, it's one or two, but you can't say like you're fucking someone.

Yes. It depends on the use of fuck. It can't be sexual. Social network has two fucks. Yeah. Do they really? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I remember exactly. We don't have to talk about social network. I love social network. I thought it was one of my favorite movies. Maybe the best movie of the decade. So good. I really think it should have beat King's Speech for best picture. Oh yeah.

King's Speech was fine, but. But I haven't seen it since, and I probably won't see it ever again. I've seen social Network 50 times. Well... Are you serious? Yeah. I love Social Network.

I'm a Firthman. Oh, I love... First thing you need to know about me is I love Colin Firth. That's also the second thing you need to know about me. Colin Club on this side of the room. Yeah, Colin Club. I like Firth. Listen, I get Firthy from time to time.

Oh, yeah, I'm Firthy. I'll take a long, cool drink of Colin. Trying to catch me riding on Firthy. When I get Firthy, I don't even take a shower. I just stay furthy all night. That's why your girlfriend keeps talking about how you smell like Hennessy. Sean, you're furthy. You smell like Henrock.

Take a goddamn shower. And I go, hey, quit calling me furthy is what I say. No, you go, I haven't been smoking cigarettes, Laura. Whoa, I'm sorry. We can bleep that out. Laura, what's with the king speech? No, it's a cigarette. What are we talking about?

Oh, what's with the king speech? Yeah, Social Network should have won. Yeah. Oh, that's not what we're... You said that and that's my trope. Yeah, we're drafting. Yeah, yeah, I'm just saying. Yeah, what's up?

I agree. Social Network should have won. Action movie lines that are cut off by explosions are the best. Great pick. Did you guys see? Is it? Infinity War, by the time this will come out, everyone's seen it. Let's not do spoilers.

You haven't seen it? Not do spoilers? Well, I don't know. Is this even a spoiler? I haven't seen it, but I don't care. I've seen it. I think I'm going to see it tomorrow. Well, if you want to cover your, I'll just say one sentence.

Just do it. The very last scene is one of those. Okay. Yeah. You remember after the credits? Anyway, we're done. We did it. It's good just say one sentence. Just do it. The very last scene is one of those. Okay. Yeah. You remember after the credits? Anyway, we're done. We did it. It's good.

It's good. It wasn't even a spoiler. The movie is. I did not like it. Well, again, we'll discuss it. We'll bring it up. Yeah. Getting the swear word cut off.

I dig it. Cartwheel, what do you got? Pepper, my final pick. This is the thing. And maybe I'm just not a fancy enough lad for this to have happened to me. Maybe this is on fucking me, all right? Maybe I'm the fucking prick here. Oh, you're already mad.

You're already mad about it. Maybe I'm the fucking prick here. Maybe I'm the fucking dickhead over here. Maybe I'm the piece of shit that this has never happened to. Fucking scumbag. But I have never slept with a woman. Oh. The air conditioner just keeps going.

We just move the mics outside. Every movie I see. But I've never slept with a woman and then had her wear my button-down shirt as though it were her entire outfit. Here's the thing, Ian. It happens in the social network. You're a big guy.

I'm a big guy. It's comical. I've had to wear my shirts. It's never played for comedy in the movies. No, it's not. Well've had to wear my shirts it's never played for comedy in the movies no it's not well that's because their shirts aren't giant

a girl could wear it's hilarious a girl could wear my button down and have it look the way you know fucking awesome

not mine man it looks like a kid playing dress up I'm just picturing a girl in your big like Shug Knight button up that you got yeah

oh nice are you one with Goku and Vegeta there's just too much clob that bunches up weird places it's like even I'm just picturing a girl in your big Shug Knight button-up that you got. Yeah. Oh, nice. Are you the one with Goku and Vegeta on it? There's just too much claw that bunches up weird places. It's like even we're both like, what are you? I'm just imagining a girl dressed like Bugs Bunny and Taz with a giant shirt on backwards. Backwards. Jeans on Team Strong. I get girls wear my t-shirts all the time like it's a sleep shirt, but never the button-up.

I've never seen, even when I've worn a button-up. Like when I went to the Emmy Awards, for example, you've heard about that before. I was nominated for one. Nominated? I was nominated for one of them. Did you? Player hated. But I wore tux.

I don't think a tux shirt is the one to do it in, though. But it's anything with buttons. But a tux shirt is. It's always a white button up like you see in the movies. Like my ex used to wear like my sweatshirts and sometimes, but like with an outfit and just like as clothes. But I imagine someone wearing my clothes after sex and they're just like Donald Duck. Is there ever Anne Hathaway wearing a white button-up pirouette-y and a pop-up? Oh, yeah.

Because I've gone to work or whatever. Yeah, I don't know. I guess. I don't know what to tell you. I have had that happen. That's why I said maybe that's on me. She wears the button-up? Yeah.

Well, it's weird. Well, I'm the prick. I'm the prick. No, you're not. I guess I'm the prick. Hey, hey. Not maybe that's on me. She wears the button up? Yeah. Well, all right. Well, I'm the prick. I'm the prick. No, you're not. I guess I'm the prick. Hey, hey. Not a prick. Fuck me.

Not a prick. It's also like, do you hang up your button ups after you take them off? No, they're on the floor. Oh, okay. Then it's in. No, they're on the floor. That's my final look. Sean, it's time for your final pick, the final pick of the draft.

All right. Man, it's so, it's between for your final pick, the final pick of the draft. All right. Man, it's between two. All right. It's going to be when somebody goes, hey, why doesn't James go over? And they go, oh, James, he can't do that. Not after what happened. Oh. Not after what happened.

Not after what happened. And then they cut to some incident with Mayonnaise or something. He doesn't go full tilt. No, it's like James doesn't ride in cars anymore because his dad got smoked by a semi in his car or something like that. And you're like, what? It makes sense. You know what's a cool example?

It's maybe a slant rhyme from it or tangentially related. It's in Inglourious Bastards. Yeah. You know when they say something about, it's the German guy, Stiglitz, right? Yeah, yeah. Hugo Stiglitz. Right. And they say something. like it's the German guy Stiglitz, right? Yeah, yeah. Hugo Stiglitz. Right, and they say something and they're like

why is he blah, blah, blah? And then everyone looks like ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then they show Stiglitz like murdering like nine Nazis. Cutting through them. I love it.

What a film. Like you in the living room. What are you doing? Mowing down Nazis. Nazis. Taking care of the Nazis. And I want my scalps. Yeah, just the like

looking out. Or it can be the other way like I want my scalps. Yeah, just the looking out. Or it can be the other way. Like, I can't do that. Not after what happened. They just look out a window or something. Just kind of think about something shitty that happened that they end up doing at the end of the movie because they overcome everything.

When we're seeing the flashback in the movie of that moment happening, I like to imagine the person who just heard the not after what happened just standing there just like, what are they? They're quiet. They think about it. Ah, for the entire time?

For like two and a half minutes they're just like this dude's just kind of twitching a little bit eyes rolled back in his head and he comes back like yeah they killed my brother you didn't see all that they should

they should come out of the flashback and start turning just like anyway that's the old and they turn like the person's gone they're just like

I'm not gonna fucking wait for you to run this for two minutes he tells the story all the time yeah last time you said it why are you. He tells the story all the time. Yeah, last time you said it. Why are you just looking out the window now? Yeah, okay, we get it.

You don't drive anymore. Every time I go to Pizza Hut, you look out the window and you tell me this story about how the fucking delivery driver hit your dad. I get it, but I'm still going to go to Pizza Hut. He's not coming back. So yeah, there it is. Excellent. That's the draft.

Yeah. That was good. To recap, David, you went first and you took walking away slowly from an explosion, the come up montage, hot wiring a car and having it being way too easy, being in bed and saying, this never happens. And then

the, it's been revoked. All the things I want to do. Weirdly enough. That could be a fun day. That'd be a fucking day. Because it's a roller coaster, it dips. Yeah, it dips there. Yeah,

it comes and goes and plateaus. Demi, you went second. You took, when the villain says, we're not so different, you and I.

So good. The Gilligan cut, which is like, I'm never gonna go skydiving. Hard cut to skydiving. The titular line in a movie saying, in English please,

and then, oh shit. Oh yeah. It's gotta be a way to combine all of this yeah uh let's see there's no way you're gonna get me to say uh in english please mother uh in english please mother we're not so different you the movie is called we're not so different you and i uh i went third and i took when the fbi comes in and takes over the case yes and then when bad guys have british accents for no reason uh they're having a dream about making out and it's a dog licking you not having time for breakfast and just grabbing one piece of toast and then uh a lady uh the morning after some sex

happens just walking around wearing your button up. I feel like you're the only one whose pics are mostly not action movies. Yeah, right? I'm paying with other parts of the palette. Yeah, sure. Sean, you went last and you took when there's a drug bust and they taste the cocaine and said, oh yeah,

that's uncut Colombian. French bread sticking out of the groceries. I don't know what happened. They cut the hard line. When someone's in a hospital and they don't want to be there, and they just pop the IV out, and then someone looking in the middle distance and saying, oh, Hank, Hank doesn't do that anymore.

Not after what happened. We left some good ones on the board, too. Makeover. Oh, Makeover's good? Let me get a beer. Someone going to a bar, let me get a beer. Let me get a beer. Oh, dude. We left some good ones on the board, too. Makeover. Oh, Makeover's good? Let me get a beer. Someone going to a bar. Let me get a beer. Let me get a beer.

Oh, yeah. That fucking drives me crazy. Eat that. Oh, we forgot. It's not what it looks like. Oh, well, it doesn't say what it looks like. So it looks like. I can explain.

That's in like the right behind me, aren't they? Yes. Oh, God. The cliche. I had good cop, bad cop. Good cop, bad cop is great. I thought someone was going to say the dog running up to the car and hopping in at the last moment. Oh.

Because we kind of alluded to that. Save the cat. I also had the epic hang up. Oh, yes. Oh. Here's one that like how people never say bye. Yeah. When they're like, when they're talking, you fucking better.

And they just click. Yeah. I haven't hung up on someone in years. Yeah. You fucking better. Goodbye. Bye bye. I'll see you in a bit.

Bye-bye-bye. We forgot, we've got company. Oh, I had that on you. We've got company. We've got company. Oh, that's good. Here's one.

You know Grace Bellman from Twitter? Yes. She retweeted this, which was like- It's a video of- It was the Owen boys. Welcome to Fight Camp.

Welcome to the LAPD. Yeah, when some big thing happens and they're like, Owen, by the way, welcome to whatever it is. Yeah, welcome, that's a good trope. Yeah, because you're like, oh shit, it is harder than I thought. There was a video of someone that someone was doing a bunch of these on Twitter of like, you guys are going to want to see this. It's like different deliveries like, hey chief, you are going to want to see this. Just like different deliveries. Like, hey, Chief, you're going to want to take a look at this. You better get in here.

You better get in here. You guys are going to want to see this. I watched Seven the other day, and there's a bunch of, Chief, you're going to want to see this. I was on my way in there. I was coming in. I love the veteran cop who's seen it all, but he's never seen this. That's another good one.

We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Oh, shit. That's a good one. I love it when they do that. Yeah. I love the easy way or the hard way. All excellent picks. Yeah, that was a blast.

This was a really fun one, Debbie. Thank you. We want to hear, this was a really fun one, Debbie. Thank you. We want to hear yours. Make sure you add us at any of our individual handles, but also at All Fantasy Pod. Yep. We got Twitter now. We got Twitter now. Hell yeah.

Yes. And email your suggestions to All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. There we go. There we go. And anything. Anything you want to say, any message or whatever, anything at all. Email it to them. Obviously, we'll read some of them out loud.

Do we have any more shout outs from anyone? Good for now. Not good. Yeah. Shout out to everybody, dude. I've been looking forward to this all day. Sitting, recording this, and the fact that people listen. It really stoked me out last night.

We did a show. People came in LA, which people don't do. People don't go do shit in LA. It's just so cool that people listen to this. If you're listening, you're fucking awesome. Thank you so much. It means the world to all of us. So yeah, I'm in a good mood.

I just wanted to get one of those out. It's been a while. Also, it's cool when you bring Ian and Sean presents and not me. Doesn't hurt my feelings. When did that happen? That's the bad thing. No, they didn't want us to be there.

Oh, at the show. At the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd like to give another shout out to David's friend that graduated Divinity School. Yeah, we're all proud of you. Shout out to Julia and Dave one more time. We're all proud of you. Man, we ain't dead.

We ain't dead. You're living. Out here living. Shout out to everyone on Twitter, Instagram. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. We love you over there. Shout out to super producer Marissa. Shout out to everyone at HeadGum.

Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Frankie Ocean, dude, all day. Shout out to the dude. Bill Bellamy, dude. Shout out to everyone at HeadGum. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Frankie Ocean, dude, all day. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Bill Bellamy, dude. Shout out to Bill Bellamy. Bill Bellamy listens now. Shout out to Razor Ramon. Oh, yeah, dude, he's listening.

Oh, yeah, for real. He's different now, but he listens. Susan Sarandon just subscribed. Sarandon. Susan Sarandon, the man, Stan Tan, dude. Shout out to... Shout out to... Scandalous Randallus with the socked hand list, dude. Shout out to... Shout out to... Scandalous Randallus with the sock tandalous, dude.

Gina Davis. Chicken salad sandwich face, dude. Shout out to punk rock sausage face. Punk rock sausage face. Shout out to punk rock Josh from back in Meadow Park Middle School. Shout out to Micah Scholten, friend of the podcast. He wanted me to say that. Oh, yeah?

Oh, fuck yeah. Shout out to Micah. He got it. Shout out to Nick Nanpay. Oh, playboy. Shout out to Nick Nanpay. Just eternal shout out to Nick Nanpay. Shout out to Micah. You got it. Shout out to Nick Nanpay. Oh, playboy. Oh, shout out to Nick Nanpay. Just eternal shout out to Nick Nanpay. Shout out to Shoutin' Out.

Shout out to Dirk Marshall and Sarah Marshall and the Marshall's Hot Sauce Company. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we can shout out to multiple hot sauce companies. Man, if I ever knew that I was going to be 31 years old with four hot sauce dudes. Like, if you had told me 10 years ago i've been like yeah that's about right this hot sauce game is heating up still have an open perdition or wait was what was the harbinger harbinger i think we haven't opened harbinger yet i just oh i just finished my uh the house i just oh the two adventurers i'm sticking with

chalula i'm never graduating past that it's's crazy. You got to get into this hot sauce. I don't like spice. What? It's okay. Some of these are chill. Marshall's hot sauce. Now that is a Nigerian answer. What? I don't like spice?

Or the hmm? No, the Nigerian. I don't like spice. Yeah. Is that Nigerian? No. Oh, I don't know. How the fuck do I know?

Fucking Portland over here doesn't know Nigerian food. The Beaverton School District does not cover Nigerian taste preferences. They have no jollof rice. It's ridiculous. What do you put in your meat pies, man? Oh, man. I used to eat so many meat pies in Sierra Leone. Like, all summer.

I still go home for the summer, or like, any time my mom's just like, got you some meat pies? They're in the fridge. I'm like, yes. That sounds awesome. It's just an empanada. My mom does that with lasagna. Yeah, it's basically an empanada.

It's an empanada. Toby and Wigwe is Nigerian, isn't he? Yeah. Nigerians are killing it real hard. Boyega, a yellow woe, et cetera. Lupita. Who's et cetera? Oh, et cetera was in Star Wars.

Lupita. Also, like a million doctors. Yes. There's so many Nigerian doctors. Hell yeah. Shout out. Yes. Hell yeah. There's so many Nigerian doctors. Hell yeah. Shout out to Nigeria. Hell yeah. And almost as important as that, tune in again next week.

Doctor from Concussion. Sorry. Oh. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Oh, is that the one where Will Smith? Oh, yeah.

Dr. Bennett O'Malley talking about CTE. I couldn't watch Will Smith butcher an African accident for two hours. That doctor's dope, though. Yeah. And he's developing technology that might help curve. You said developing. I was like That doctor's dope though. Yeah. And he's developing like a technology that might help curve. You said developing and I was like,

you got a pilot? Yeah, and he's developing with Fullwell. I hate this city. I hate it too. Tune in again next week for another brand new episode

of All Fantasy Everything. Shakakity! that was a hate gun podcast