All Fantasy Everything - Movies from 2000 to 2010 (w/ Brandon Wardell, Jack Wagner and David Gborie)

Episode Date: February 1, 2018

The most off-track our always off-track podcast has ever been. Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians David Gborie and Brandon Wardell, and then also whatever it is Jack Wagner does. He's here too. He's funny! I'm just not sure what he does, and I'm really sleepy and I don't feel like looking it up. I know he's not a stand-up. So... you know, there you have it. Anyway, we're drafting movies from between 2000 and 2010! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Oh, fuck. How do I start the podcast again? Welcome to All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that... Welcome to a brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. That's right. Yes, there it is. Podcast that. I got very slowly on Marissa.

We should just keep all that in there, like you're doing it and then Marissa. You do it. And then we'll just show people how the sausage is made. Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything the podcast that is giving you a unique behind the scenes look at how we start every episode which is a bunch of murmuring and incomplete thoughts are we recording are we recording we've been recording this whole time that's how we do it yes we just we just it's free can we curse on this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, wait. No hard Cs. Fuck yeah. Does that answer your question? Oh, my God. Fuck yeah. We can curse. It's that podcast. It's the podcast where fuck yeah, we can curse.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm rebranding as wholesome, I think. Are you? Is that a double back? I watched Paddington 2 last night. People love Paddington 2.

It's the best reviewed movie on Rotten Tomatoes of all time. Was it actually good? It has 100%. It's amazing. I watched Paddington the night before on Netflix and then I watched Paddington 2. You gotta, otherwise you won't know.

You're lost. But I don't like... Okay,ton 2. You got it. Otherwise, you won't know. You're lost. Why is he in prison? No, but I don't like. Okay, stop. Look, here's the thing. No, because what I regret about the past on the internet is just being ironic about certain movies. Absolutely. And creating a lack of clarity. The Chappie effect.

And a lack of like. Yeah, effect and a lack of like yeah exactly like i hated i don't like boss baby is not good boss baby is not a good movie right minions isn't a good movie but paddington and paddington 2 are amazing movies legit good movies yeah like okay i'll check well yeah that's about the bear you think yeah you think they're lying you think the well no i mean just a hundred% is, like, just wild. It's wild. But, yeah, it's... Although, imagine being the person who writes a hit piece on The Bear Who Loves Marmalade. You know?

Well, yeah. Is that what Paddington... I don't know anything about Paddington. No, but there's so many soulless, like... Kids movies? Soulless kids movies that are just made for money. The trailers didn't sell me. Paddington was...

It seemed very British. Like, I felt like the stakes were going to be very low. Paddington, it's a rainy day. Paddington needs to drink some tea, but he can't have his tea. They only have Earl Grey, but it's time for English breakfast. Oh, he is very British. Okay. And there's no, there's no Americans.

Brandon's not here to joke about Paddington. No, I'm not. The thing is, I'm very, no, like, I want to, like... I really want to, like, get ahead of this and just be like, look, I'm not joking. Like, this isn't a joke to me. What's the plot of the movie? What's that? What's the movie about?

Of Paddington, or Paddington 2. Paddington's stuck in a long queue waiting for the loo, and it's very inconvenient. Paddington 2, he's... Well, oh, it's... It's like, it's hard to Paddington 2 he's well oh it's it's like it's hard to explain he's in jail isn't it

well yeah he does go to jail oh I thought you said that jail thing to be fun he's legit Paddington's in jail I'm back on board

he got framed for the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson there's like a free Paddington movement in the movie really yeah

like they have like free Paddington pins what did he do because he got framed he basically got like yeah he got framed by Hugh Grant. Oh, of course. Hugh Grant, like, stole, there's this, like, London pop-up book that he wants to get for his aunt. Like, you know that he's from Peru, right?

Paddington. Yeah, I did know that for some reason. Oh, really? Yeah, you didn't know that? No, he's an immigrant? He is, yeah. But he was raised by English's from Peru, right? Paddington. Yeah, I did know that for some reason. Oh, really? Yeah, you didn't know that? No, he's an immigrant? He is, yeah. But he was raised by English people in Peru, right? And then they died or something?

Well, yeah, he was raised in Peru, and then they, like, sent him off to London. He was, like, a stowaway on a boat. This is all Paddington 1 stuff. Paddington is a traditionally Peruvian name. Yeah, but Paddington 2, he wants to get this to get this pop-up book for his aunt. And it's this very expensive pop-up book. And Hugh Grant's character knows that. He's like, oh, how do you know about that book?

And it's some shit that has the guide to this treasure. It's a one-of-a-kind. It's a rare book. Yeah, so Hugh Grant, like, steals it from, like, this antique place. Like, Paddington was, like, saving up. Paddington was, like, washing windows all across town. For a book? Saving up money.

Yeah. Because he, this is, like, very expensive. No, he doesn't know about the treasure. Only Hugh Grant's character knows about the treasure. Yeah. no he doesn't know about the treasure only Hugh Grant's character knows about the treasure yeah but basically like the guy steals it and then Paddington like tries to catch him and the police like

they like arrest him because he's running after the criminal and they yeah it's fucked up this is like a lot of fun and then he goes to the but in prison like well maybe this is a spoiler no he like changes he like changes the whole structure Goes to the, but in prison, like, well, maybe this is a spoiler. No, he, like, changes the whole structure of the prison. Like, Paddington ends the prison industrial complex.

Wow. Like, Paddington fucking, like, comes into the prison, and he, like, the food sucks. First person we see just cracks over the head. He just kills them. With a bowl. Just, like, he stays true to himself and he's very polite in the prison. And like,

he makes everybody around him a better person. And like, there's all of a sudden, like, so they like make marmalade sandwiches in the prison because he like, the chef tries a marmalade sandwich for the first time. He's like, Oh my God, what is this? And then, so they're like making marmalade and then everybody loves it and then

there's like a part where all the prisoners stand up like not all of them but a lot of them yeah stand up and then like say the recipe that they're really good at and then everybody has like this one thing that they're good at. He makes prison amazing. People have redeeming values. They put up a prison sweet prison banner and everybody has flowers. Does it say prison sweet prison? What's that? Does it say prison sweet prison?

Yeah. I'm back out. That's my... I got tattooed on my lower back. It's... I hear people earnestly saying, I don't want to describe it too much because then, You just described the whole,

No, I didn't describe the whole movie yet. I feel like that's the first 20 minutes. No, because you think, no, you, do you think,

you're giving us like a lot. I, I, I was looking for like the one, the one line synopsis and I'm just like, seeing the movie. So stay,

don't spoil it either. I'm not going to spoil it. This is, I'm, I'm already bummed knowing that there's not prison gangs that have to court that want him. I would have loved the bear to click up. Who would he click up with?

We got a bear. They don't know his race. He could kind of float between. Based on him being from MS-13, if he was from Peru. There was this one part in Paddington 1 where there's some character that's like,

ugh, bears, like bears in their jungle music. Oh my God. Hold up. Then somebody says fairy lives don't matter and punches Paddington. Oh, that's like, yeah, Bright sucks ass, obviously. Oh, is that that Will Smith movie? That's the Will Smith and the- Written by fucking Max Landis.

Max fucking Landis, dude. I don't know anything. I cannot wait for him to get exposed. Isn't it happening? It started to happen for a second.

It's starting to happen a little bit, but I'm just ready for that, like, I'm ready for that to just be over. Because like,

yeah, he's like, he's so, he's like so shitty to women. So shitty to women and just he's just a shitty guy just shitty dude and like i don't i normally i don't uh i don't root for anyone's downfall generally yeah like i'm never like oh like i i i don't like to see people fail or like be you know have their reputations destroyed. But Max Landis is like a very bad person. And that's what we should all be rooting for, is for bad people to get their comeuppance.

Right. Yeah. Like he's somebody where I'm like, yeah, I want this guy to get his motherfucking comeuppance. Uppance to come. Yeah. And he had nothing to do with Paddington too. Do you regret, do you regret, we should do the intros. We are in the, we are joined in the beautiful HeadGum studio in downtown Los Angeles, California.

This is a very beautiful studio. Isn't it a lovely studio? It's a lot nicer than ours. They really do wonderful stuff around here. With, we're joined by Jack Wagner. Yes. And Brandon Wardell. Jack Wagner, at Jack D. Wagner on Twitter.

Wow. What do you want, are you on Instagram as well? Yeah, I'm Versace Tamagotchi on Instagram. Versace Tamagotchi on Instagram. Versace underscore Tamagotchi. Yeah, thanks for clarifying. Please say that. Please say the underscore.

We say F, baby, and F is for underscore. And F is for funderscore. And Brandon Wardell, at Brandon Wardell on Twitter. Yes. Brandon Wardell on Instagram as well. BS Wardell on Instagram. BS Wardell, that's right. Brandon Wardell was taken by the other Brandon Wardell.

Who's the other Brandon Wardell? Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah, there's an actor. I feel bad because, well. He does not like you. He used to be on, I remember. Why not?

No, he does. He does. Okay. We have, we like have like a good report. We've like messaged and shit. But he, that's not, that's not fair to him to say that he doesn't like me. Please don't come at this guy. It's something.

I mean, those posts were very clear. Yeah, so like. What were the posts? Like, I remember years ago my mom being like, oh, there's this actor in All My Children that's named Brandon Wardell. Oh, shit. Whoa. Wait, we both have the same name as soap opera actors. Right.

Exactly. Oh, yeah. Jack Wagner. Jack Wagner. That's crazy. And I got, like, people tag me in same name as soap opera actors. Right. Exactly. Because I share with Jack Wagner. Jack Wagner. That's crazy. And I get, like, people tag me in posts that are meant for him. Really? Yeah.

Like weird cheesy, like, collages they made and stuff. Yeah. People, like, send me desperate messages, which is funny. Oh, shit. I mean, this guy, the Brandon Wardell that I have, I share a namesake with, is less popping than the Jack Wagner you share a namesake with. But this guy, he, you know, he's like, he's an actor. Yeah.

And he, at one point on Facebook was like, tagged me in the post was like, hey, can everybody stop confusing me with at Brandon Wardell? I, you know, I think he's funny, but a lot of the things that he says are offensive to the people that I try my best to not offend and that's a fairly even-handed yeah people but then like another brandon wardell commented on it like a third one was like hey it was like this is fucked up was like yeah man i agree and said something like yeah that kid tried to friend request me when he was in high school. And I wasn't having it.

Me, the third Brandon Wardell wasn't into it. And then Nick Mullen commented on it. It was like, hey, Brandon, I love that show on Snapchat where you say the N word. And then just kept trolling the thread. You're getting disrespected by your brandon wardell elders yeah i don't like but i but i get it because it's like i'm yeah like he had like a full career and like he has the brandonwardell.com domain but then if you if you google brandon wardell it's only me. You come up, right. And so I understand how that would be insane.

If you were a 40-year-old and then out of nowhere, there's like- I'm glad I have a fairly unique last name because I'm terrified. I would be terrified of that. There's a different Ian Carmel that like- It'd be fucking awful. Has viral tweets. Yeah. Oh, I appreciate my second guy because I'm very, it's hard to Google me and I appreciate

that. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like I use his fame as a cover of darkness. Because then it's like if people have to seek you out. Yeah. They'll seek me out. The flip side of that coin.

Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. And well, yeah. And if you have a super unique name when they Google you, like it's always going to be weird stuff that shows up. It's going to be like old Instagram pictures and stuff.

When the people at InfoWars were coming after me, it was so, there was only one me. So they like found me immediately. When was that? It was last, it was a year ago Christmas. Oh, because you, what did you say? It was like, did you say some like aggressively Jewish shit? I was saying shit about Ivanka Trump.

Is that when you told them if they want to fight a real Jew, come to Glendale? Yeah, yeah. I put that out there, too. Because they doxed me. And then they doxed you? I was like, come on by. They doxed me first. And I was like, knock on my door.

I'm not hiding. The thing is, usually when people get doxed Like It brings fear into your heart But like You guys went through it right What's that We can't talk about that We can't talk about it because it's silly We won't talk about it

But it's scary when it happens But then you're like Okay well nobody's gonna fuck it What is somebody gonna buy that dude in Maryland With the fucking like right super like curved hat bill is he gonna fly out to Glendale

they're saying they're gonna come to your house and just like I think the idea is that then they can like swat you or they can like send shit to your house

which I guess that's happened in the past swatting I guess would suck a dude from Glendale because that guy who got murdered via swatting recently was in the news. That guy lived in Glendale. Yeah.

Yeah. Which is very surprising. I didn't think we had people like that wild. Me neither. That's a very Ohio guy. That's what we do. Or like Kansas. Didn't Tim Heidecker get doxxed?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. And he's in Glendale. They tried to. What I like to, well, it was funny just people being like, oh, like this fucking like, people started talking about Glendale like it was an elite area. People started talking about it like, oh, these Hollywood elites in Glendale. It's like, oh, you have never been to Glendale. Fucking Glendale is mostly, it's like uh working Armenian food it's

super working class yeah it's working it's working class people who still figure out a way to drive white beamers but it's working class i mean i yeah totally i know like it's like i mean it's a smart place to glendale's nice i've lived there the entire time i've been in la there's a great mall yeah that's where i moved when i moved down from Portland. You've been in that house the whole time? The whole time. Different regimes. I moved in it was like Funches and then two Seattle comedians and then they all moved out. Are you still in that spot? Same house.

Who else lives there? Same old Jeep. Me, Sean Jordan and Zach Toscani. It's a doxxed house that you live in? It's a doxxed house. I live in a doxxed home. So any listeners, you could just look it up. Come on, go to InfoWars 4chan website or whatever. That is very smart that you still like. Yeah.

So you're just, all that courted money is in savings. It's all, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's tight. I'm putting it away. Yeah. So when the end times come, and I guess money's worthless, then I'm still fucked. But yeah, I've been putting it away.

Same house. That's crazy. I spend money on other stupid shit yeah but i think like but rent rent is usually like the biggest hitter the biggest hitter yeah but i make up for it in postmates orders i think i make up that difference yeah i really i postmated twice last night i really got to get under control what yeah around 11 o'clock i was like yeah maybe some ice cream i I postmated twice last night. I really got to get under control. Yeah, around 11 o'clock I was like, yeah, maybe some ice cream. I've postmated four times this week. I'll explain. You live behind a Vaughn's or a Ralph's. A Ralph's, very, very walking distance.

I don't know why I didn't think of that. Yeah, that's crazy. That was insane. In fact, I live across the street from a Circle K. Yeah, were you just into your bongs? I don't know. I was very into my bongs. Every time I go to the grocery store, I'm like, I should do this more.

I really love it. It's so much cheaper than you think it's going to be. Yeah, you get the price, and then it's like, oh, I've spent this on a dinner. Yeah. Oh. And it's so- Oh, for a week of groceries, you're like, oh, I was at not even a great restaurant, but I spent that because LA is so wild.

Yeah. I've gotten into cooking lately. Just a bunch of grown men realizing very basic human facts. Shit that most people learn when they're like, yeah, leave it at home for the first time. I came back home from my kitchen the other day, and it's like nice in there now. Now there's no ants.

I should have been doing it. So, yeah, recipes, it's just a list of ingredients. You just put it together. You cook them. Heat, and you just mix it up ingredients. You just put it together. You cook them. Heat and you just mix it up. Cooking actually isn't that hard. I got a slow cooker. It's not that hard, man.

I cook a lot. It's not that hard. And it's so fucking cheap. I'm freezing food now. And you're high all the time. What? You're usually fucked up. I'm usually pretty stoned, yeah.

Yeah, and you cook. Yeah, I cook. Yeah. But it's a beautiful thing to do when you're stoned. It's cheap, man. I just can pretty stoned, yeah. Yeah, and you cook. Yeah, I cook. Yeah. But it's a beautiful thing to do when you're stoned. It's cheap, man. I just can't afford not to. Yeah. It's me. Yeah, that's the whole thing. I can't afford not to. Can't afford not to, so you might as well really live it up. And I cook crazy shit by myself because I'm not going to give it to Mar...

I'm going to give it to Marcella. Okay, bitch. She's going to be mean to you about it. No, man. So I'll just... Is it just you and Marcella? And Solomon. So two people will be mean to him about stuff. Yeah, but I So I'll just... Is it just you and Marcella? And Solomon. So two people will be mean to him about stuff. Yeah, but I'm in there making steak and shrimp

by myself. Are you in a house? I have a secret grill in my house. You have a grill? David, are you in a house or an apartment? In a house, yeah.

Is it the same one as... It's that same house. It's still the flop house? Oh, yeah. Same house. And now it's just the three of you? Now it's just the three of us.

A lot of rap in the morning. Yeah. R&B in the evening. Is it's just the three of you? Now it's just the three of us. A lot of rap in the morning. Yeah. R&B in the evening. Is it cleaner now? Oh, it's super clean. There's no cats. We kicked out all the whites. There's no cats.

Oh, yeah. That's good. Yeah, because it was like filthy circa Viceland. I wasn't at the Viceland tapings. It's so clean now though. But yeah, like I remember because I'm like in a couple episodes of Flophouse, people would be like, oh, do you, do you live in that house? And I would get offended. Was it that dirty? I think they dirtied it up a little bit too.

When they did that for us in San Francisco, they dirtied it up. Like we cleaned it and they were like, no, we want pizza in the kitchen. Yeah. I was like, don't play me out like that. My mom's going to watch this. That's the whole vice aesthetic. Like, we did a pilot that was in my apartment. Like, we did, like, a talk show that was, like, going to be hosted in my apartment.

Yeah. Like, from my bedroom. And they, I remember, like, my house remember like my house like looked nice like i had things like put together and then they were yeah then he was like it was it wasn't lance it was somebody yeah oh jordan was like oh i gotta we gotta like dirty this up a little bit yeah we gotta put things like a little askew and i was like, well, you, I, I feel Zen right now and you're making me feel, you're already coming into my house with cameras and taking away my personhood. Absolutely. Right.

And you're, you don't have a place to go other than that. You have no escape. Yeah. Uh, Jack, I want to hear about your secret grill. Oh yeah. Um, where is that? It's, I have two porches. One connects to my room upstairs.

So yeah, I went and bought a grill. Huge, huge upgrade in my life. But I like put it right up there. My roommates didn't know it existed for about six months. So you just have like an outdoor secret grill? You don't feel like cooking for a bra? Wait, I still haven't. I'm like, I bring the meat upstairs. I bring the meat upstairs.

I come down grilled, but he didn't ask. I still haven't seen it. It's the one by your bedroom? Yeah. So I'm cooking there. I love it. You just don't talk about it. Yeah, I'm coming down with steaks that they don't know where it came from.

Ian, how do you know about his secret grill? He just brought it up? Yeah, I mentioned the secret grill. He mentioned it briefly. See, you need to, in LA, we all have roommates where we live in cramped situations. And you have to have these little secret things that are just for yourself. Otherwise, you'll feel like you have no private life. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'll fuck it up enough on my own, but, like, two other guys coming on that grill? No. Using my propane? Hell no. I've got, I've got, I've got canvas. You're walking from the, you're walking from, like, the kitchen upstairs. Yeah, yeah.

His bedroom's upstairs. I'm, like, bringing raw meat up in my room, like, acting normal. You're bringing raw meat into your bedroom. Yeah, just doing normal. I'm bringing these raw steaks up to my room. Guys, don't worry about it. Raw meat up in my room. You're bringing raw meat into your bedroom. Yeah, just do it normally. I'm bringing these raw steaks into my room. You guys don't worry about it. Raw meat over carpet. Do you...

So do you have like a mini fridge in your room? No, no. I just keep it all in the kitchen. I just bring it up. They know about it now. Like, I think they weren't surprised. They're like, oh yeah, you're keeping the grill up there? Like, yeah, you're not using it.

Sorry. You're keeping a grill up there. Yeah. Yo, I respect you. Get your own grill. Young, surreptitious grill. Yeah. Yeah. not using it. You're keeping a grill up there. Yeah. Yo, get your own grill. Young, surreptitious grill. Yeah. Yeah. I love that.

We need to get a grill just period in our lives. Be the grill you wish to see in the world. I had a two barbecue system going a few times this summer. Oh, shit, that's right. Yeah. That's a lot of work. What are you like on one hand on these barbecues? I got twin webers.

Two tongs? Two tongs, two webers, two meats. Two tongs, but I got me a few on. We should get to the actual podcast. Should we do that? We could talk about secret meat all day. I love talking about secret meat. We could just have a secret meat podcast.

Can we draft secret meat? Drafting secret meat. Like that time I brought an envelope to a Korean barbecue place and just filled it up and left. Wait, what? No, it didn't happen. I just keep it loose leafs in the side of my car. Just got Wago beef in there. And that map holder.

I actually have a flip down thing to hold CDs. Yeah. I just put jerseys in there. I just put jerseys of deli meat. Or that Wayne's World 2, that licorice. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm like that, but with Wagyu. With tripe, dude.

What a creep. You just got places to keep your meat everywhere. I'm like thinking about like a car now. Yeah. Like I'm thinking about, you mentioned the CD booklet. Yes. Full of loose salami slices. Loose, crude looses.

And then the mirror part above, maybe one of those, like a clip, but it's various cheeses. That's looked pretty good. Oh, yeah. If Pimp My Ride was still around, you could finesse this by having some capicola in your car when you turn it in. What you have in your car is what they base it off of. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong. We have some capicolas and knives.

Charcuterie. We saw you like sandwiches, so we put an Italian deli. We heard you like sandwiches. Your trunk. So now age prosciutto back there. Since you live in Los Angeles And it doesn't really get cold there We replace your heat with deli mustard

Yo I respect your commitment To trying On the exhibit impression Thank you I feel like I'm 40% there That was 50 Have you guys ever seen that noisy documentary About Lil B

It's very good There's that part where he's talking about He's just showing off his Hometown he's just showing off the bay Talking about places he Spent time in when he was a child And he's like oh yeah I used to Do a bunch of work for a lady in

there and i would spend the money on on chocolate fudge and hot salami hot salami like hot salami sandwiches yeah and then you already know yeah isn't like the guy he's talking to is like oh that's like it's kind of a an odd combo a little bit he's talking to is like, oh, that's like, it's kind of an odd combo a little bit. He's like, yeah, what can I say? I love fudge chocolate and I love, I don't want to talk about like the death of animals. So let's move on. Let's move on. But yeah, I guess he like loved spending money on fudge and hot salami.

He's on the ethically sourced hot salami now. I want you to be exhibit for the rest of the podcast, by the way. You want what? I want more exhibit in this podcast. I'm going to be a exhibit for the rest of the podcast, by the way. You want what? I want more exhibit in this podcast. I'm going to sprinkle a little bit. By the way, this exhibit thing just reminded me. Yeah. Did you ever watch, like, the season of...

He's on a season of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Exhibit is? Yeah. In their pimpin' houses? On, like, the final season. Wow. Did he break the crew with? It's, like...

Does he have a chain on? It's exhibit in Ty Pennington and, you know, all those. Yeah, but doing houses. But, yeah. Does he have a chain on? I gotta, like, go back. All right. But what I do remember is that, like, the thing about Extreme Makeover Home Edition, they're doing, like, it's a pretty noble show.

Yeah, yeah. They're doing things for, like, it's always, like, poor families with, like, in fucked up situations. I like it better when it's it's a pretty noble show they're doing things for like yeah it's always like poor families and with like in fucked up situations i like it better when it's ugly people the sun the sun is in a wheelchair and i don't know if you can see where this is going exhibit pimps his wheelchair oh my god he like soups up his wheelchair and like makes it really drop. Instead of wheels, it's dreamcasts. We heard you like NBA 2KO. 2KO too.

We replace your seats with suede. We're doing suede. I love that they built remember is that Ish yeah the character is Ish at West Coast Customs

Ish was for sure he just only puts suede on things yeah we heard your son really wants to be a firefighter so we set your house

on fire painted the fire and the fire hoses are made of suede yeah and they painted everything wild colors yeah the worst Fire hoses are made of suede. Yeah, and they painted everything wild colors. Yeah, the worst paint jobs.

We heard you want to be an asshole, so we gave you a purple car. You can look up the aftermath of people who got their car pimped, and they never worked because they barely fixed the engine. They just took a terrible Honda and made cool shit on it, but it doesn't run. Don't have a muffler. The fish tanks are always... You can't sell them. Could you imagine how mad you would be at 4am

going to feed those fucking fish? Yeah. Motherfucking exhibit. When your car's at the Honda dealership and you're like, also, could you make sure to feed the fish while you're figuring out whatever's wrong with the transmission?hip and you're like, also, could you make sure to feed the fish while you're figuring out whatever's wrong with the transmission? I always just thought about too,

like I always have weird shit in my trunk and they base it off of like what's in your trunk. So it's like, what if your friends like lacrosse stick was in there or something? And they're like, yo, we like did your whole car. You're like your lacrosse car.

And you're just like, yeah, I've never. We heard you like chewed up tennis balls. You like partially crushed LaCroix cans. We heard you like warm vodka. We are gathered here today to draft movies from... We heard you like dog food, so...

Come here, little boy. We filled your car with puppies. It's getting even better. It's the definition of us. Do you feel like it's growing? It's the evolution of the Alvin Joyner. I don't call him Exhibit anymore. You call him by his Christian name?

Well, I'm a grown folk. I watch Empire. Oh, yeah. Is he on Empire? He's on Empire. He's way on Empire. Oh, good for him. Alvin Joyner.

Well, if I think of him by that name, I can't do it. You see it in every episode on Empire? He's on Empire. He's way on Empire. Oh, good for him. Alvin Joyner. Well, if I think of him by that name, I can't do it. Is he in every episode of Empire? It's like low. No, that's DMX. Last two seasons. Wait, Chris Rock was on Empire for a while. We got video right. Chris Rock was on.

They were all there. They were all there. Don't do DMX. If DMX holds up tomorrow. Don't do DMX. It's Black Christopher Walken I don't respect it I don't respect a DMX for their impression

If DMX hosted Pim by Ride He would have stripped the wiring out of every car I heard you don't need this copper Man, I love DMX Your car's in Yonkers now That's every episode. And your kids are missing. Pay up.

Okay, we should get to the draft, otherwise this is going to literally be a two and a half hour episode. We're drafting movies that were put out between 2000 and 2010. That was my hallmark decade. It was a good decade for me too. I think I started it at the age of 16. What year did you

graduate high school, David? I was 13 in 2000. You were 03. What were you? I graduated high school in 2006. 2011. We were all different ages. That's going to be an interesting.

We were like, that's like a good age. We were all good ages. We were good ages. We experienced it. Yeah. We were fully, we were fully online for the entire decade. Like these are all, these are all the ages we're describing are good ages for culture. Those were good ages.

Yeah. Extremely good ages for culture. Well, I was six, 16 when that started. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. Cause I was, I was 14 when the towers fell. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That's how I was saying before the pod, I measure all culture pre or post 9-11. Pre post 9-11. Yeah, I was on an Air Force base. Oh, yeah. When it happened, I was in fourth grade. And so we had to leave our backpacks at the school. And pick up your guns.

And then- They scrambled you at 15. You had to get your guns. Yeah. Like, Brandon, you're 11. You're going to war. backpacks like at the school and pick up and then and then like my god i was like i was strapped up yeah i was strapped up already um pre-9-11 um basketball but yeah so um yeah we had to leave our backpacks at the school. And then like the next day, I remember for like two months, whenever I went to like the Scott air force based burger King, I had to show my military ID. Damn.

Cause that's where the terrorists were going to strike was a burger. It was like the Scott air force. This was not only, this was post nine 11, but pre chicken fries. So it was still a very fraught time. Oh man. This is, yeah, this was not only this was post 9-11 but pre-chicken fries so it was still a very fraught time oh man you have to remember this is yeah this was this was chicken fries 2010 but this was like maybe i think like the nugget the tenders were uh crown shaped good tendies oh i remember

that era yeah uh the long chicken sandwich still in play bk big fish oh yeah the menu the big fish was the last. I went down with the Big Fish. I'm not a Burger King guy. It's not good. Well, the thing about McDonald's versus Burger King is McDonald's never tries too hard. No, they really don't. Burger King is always like.

Jack in the Box is very sweaty. Going wild with the gimmick shit. no they really don't Burger King Burger King is always like Jack in the Box is very sweaty going wild with like the gimmick shit like they I mean they have like the mac and cheetos and now the flaming flaming mac and cheetos

flaming mac and cheetos which who asked for that flaming hot mac and cheetos nobody asked for that nobody was I smoke weed most days I think you smoke weed almost every day

I'm smoking weed right now I'm still not interested in the flaming hot cheeto mac and cheetos no of course not the BK girl dogs I all that shit I'm smoking weed right now. I'm still not interested in the Flamin' Hot Cheetos. No, of course not. The BK's, Girl Dogs, all that shit. I haven't kept up at all. I don't know what BK's doing.

They had straight up hot dogs for a minute. Yeah, they still do. And that's the thing is McDonald's is like they, McDonald's is pretty consistent. Yeah. Yeah, it's the same shit forever. I mean like, say what you will about like the ice cream machine not working. Right. Yeah. For the most part, I'm glad it's out. I mean, like, say what you will about, like, the ice cream machine not working. Right. Yeah.

For the most part, they're- I'm glad it's out. I'll just say that. Yeah, I am glad that we're finally talking about it. Wasn't there an expose on that that came out recently? Yeah, they finally did. Yeah. Why doesn't it work?

Dude, they clean- I think it's just that it needs to do a cleaning cycle, and then the employees don't feel like doing that twice. I get it. So they're just like, yeah, it's broken. Yeah, I get it. I always knew that's what it was. I'm like, yeah, you're lying to me. You just don't want like doing that twice. So there's like, yeah, it's broken. Yeah, I get it. I always knew that's what it was. I'm like, oh, yeah, you're lying to me.

You just don't want to turn it on. I did have like, I did eat a BK grilled dog once in 2016. Damn. Did you like it? No. You're doing okay. You don't have to live like that. This is like, this isn't, it's, it was like, basically I, I was in DC for some like comedy festival

and then it was like the weekend of Coachella week one yeah yeah and I impulse bought airplane tickets to Palm Springs oh shit because I was like oh I like

I had never been to Coachella before oh this must have been the year we were both there I think we met up for like 35 seconds yeah and so because it's hard to meet anyone. It's going to end with you eating a hot dog from Burger King. This was Ice Cube, Guns N' Roses. Well, I had to fly from D.C. to Palm Springs.

And so there was like a connecting flight and I was in Arizona and there were no places to eat besides Burger King. And so I fucking ate a BK grilled dog at the airport. This is a safe space for this kind of stuff. Don't you worry about it at all. I felt so bad. I've never felt. I'd rather have a 7-Eleven hot dog. I like a 7-Eleven hot dog. I like celebrating

everything that rolls on that grill. Except for the burger one. That was weird to me. When they put a burger in a bun like that. What if a burger was a hot dog? I was like, I'm out. That's where I'm out. Chill out. Chill out, brother.

The taquitos. I get it. The chicken rollers. Calm down. Sure. But yeah, no. The burger thing? No, the burger rollers.

What's wrong? Yeah, I've never fucked with a 7-Eleven taquito or anything. No. Oh, the Pretty Bomb. Oh, yeah. It's way better than you think. Oh, the jalapeno. Cream cheese.

Cream cheese one is amazing. Yeah. They're really good. And the spicy chicken rollers. Oh, yeah. It's way better than you think. Oh, the jalapeno cream cheese one is amazing. Yeah. They're really good. And the spicy chicken rollers are good, too. I like gas station food. Also, in Mexico, they have these microwavable pizzas that are fire. Oh, yeah. In Mexico, I have a gas station food.

Oxxo. Wawa is like... Oh, Wawa is Hall of Fame. But that's on the East Coast. We don't have it out here. I mean, Wawa is better than most fast food places. We have to do the draft. We have to. I'm Coast. We don't have it out here. I mean, Wawa's better than like a lot of fast food places. We have to do the draft. We have to.

I feel like we've like, we've touched on like multiple draft topics. That would be really fun. I mean, gas station food would be an amazing one. I'm pretty passionate about it. Yeah. But then we'd have to go off top. We'd have to J-ho. I mean, the summary of like the last however many minutes we did was that we're four people

who just recently learned that we could eat normal. We've just been eating at gas stations and Postmates for years. Just started eating. These are four people who have been throwing away the lettuce that comes out with restaurant cheeseburgers. Have you ever changed the episode? Have you ever changed the draft topic mid-episode? Mid-episode. It's never happened.

It's never happened. Let's do the draft. I like that. I mean, if we... No, no, let's changed the draft topic mid-episode? Mid-episode. It's never happened. It's never happened. Let's do the draft. I like that. I mean, if we... No, no. Let's do the draft. Yeah, yeah. Let's do the movies.

I'm excited about the movies. It would be kind of crazy because none of us would have good... Yeah, yeah. I'm ready for this. I want to see what you got. Let's do the movies. Yeah. Let's do the movies.

It is an intriguing idea. On a Sunday morning. On a Sunday morning, Wyland. Man. Most people are at church right now. Not us. There's no God. This is my church.

This is what happens when God is busy. This podcast like this. He's busy making 7-Eleven taquitos. So we're doing movies between 2000 and 2010. Yes. As far as we know. The way we determine the order of the draft is through a game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you. Yes. You go on shoot. So here we're going to do it right now. Yeah. As far as we know, uh, the way we determine the order of the draft is through a game of rock, paper,

scissors played between the three of you. Yeah. Go on. Shoot. So here we're going to do it right now. Okay. Here we go. Rock,

paper, scissors. Shoot. All right, David wins. Wow. You go through rock, David,

or you go through scissors. David through rock. Uh, David, what is going to be the order of the same thing? What type of draft is it? Oh, that's a great question. It's a serpentine.

I do love that me and Jack both did Synergy. We've been talking about so much bullshit. We forgot to... Let's get pod Synergy. The two of you, this is going to come out in three weeks. The two of you have a podcast. It's called Yeah But Still. Talk about it for a second.

Oh, yeah. We started plugging. We plugged our socials, which that's less important. I don't care about plugging socials. Both of us have enough followers. Yes. But I could use more podcasts. Yeah.

Come over, check it out. Yeah, but still. It's basically like the last 45 minutes. Yeah, it's like the last 45 minutes. But funnier. But funnier. But funnier because it's just us. Yeah.

So it's like. Oh, so it's like. And we're also. Not riffraff like David and I. We're probably, we're holding back right now too. Yeah. Because we don't want to give you too much. But for me, I'm way funnier.

It's like the Princess Bride where he fights left-handed. Left-handed the whole way. And then at the end, he's like, see, that's what I'm doing comedically. It is like the last 45 minutes. Right, right, right. But funnier. Yeah. Maybe in the last five minutes, I'll throw out these jokes that are mind-blowing.

But yeah, but still. Check it out. Yeah, absolutely. That's what it's called still. Check it out. Yeah, absolutely. That's what it's called. Yeah, please subscribe. Yeah, there's no hook. Hit that like button. Yeah, there's no hook.

It's just us talking. Smash that darn like button on it. Smash that darn subscribe button. No hook, just bars. Yeah. We have a lot of good guests. Very good. We're going to record an episode later.

Oh, yeah. I mean, the first 45 minutes, we could just rip that. Make that a podcast. Sorry, this is our podcast. We're going to rip it from this episode that's already out. I don't know if we have to clear it with the studio, but you have my approval. Well, that actually... Yeah, I was saying before I want to start a podcast where I just go on other podcasts,

but add a layer to it as if you just tried to alpha the podcast host like what if I just took over right now and just like started guiding it like alright guys let's move on from this so hey what are you guys up to this week I just started like hosting their pod when we were talking I was sort of like oh we should get

Ian and David on the podcast and then I was like well we could just oh wait a second you guys're already on your podcast. Wait a second. You guys are already on it. Who's in whose studio? I start doing ads on your podcast. I start doing my own ads that I've sold. Hey, guys.

We're just talking. You're like, all right, guys. Speaking of 7-Eleven, when you don't want to eat 7-Eleven, BlueApron.com is the best. That's the... We have to draft. Okay, you're right.com is the best. That's the We have to draft. Okay, you're right. We do have days. We have days.

So what's the order of the draft, David? I'm going to go horseshoe so it's going to go this way. Okay. So call it out for the listeners.

Oh, sorry. Me, Brandon, Jack, Ian. Ian Carmel. He forgot Ian. Yeah. What's good about that is that was the safe name to forget.

I'm glad you felt comfortable. Do we get to see the draft sheet? How does this work? Well, we're going to call them out. I'll write them down. Once one is taken, of course, nobody else can take it. How many draft picks do we have? Five picks each.

So are we picking out of the thin air? Out of the thin air. Oh, wow. There's no board. Only the board that exists in our hearts and our minds and in the body of Christ. Do we get one minute

prep time of like, no, we're in it. There's no clock. Yeah, you know the order. You're on the clock immediately. So you're prep time right now. You're prepping during me and David.

Yeah. It's a serpentine draft, which means if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second. So you will have back-to-back picks. It's like bumper cars. Like bumper cars. Yeah. And it's a serpentine draft, which means if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second. So you will have back-to-back picks. It's like bumper cars. Like bumper cars.

Yeah. But yeah. It's like when you and your cousin go to the cheap carnival, not the good carnival, the cheap carnival in the Fred Meyer parking lot. Yep. And you can't afford to do anything. Oh my God. I love Fred Meyer so much.

You smash into one wall and then you bounce all the way across to the other one. Then you smash into your stupid cousin. And then you smash back into the wall. He chokes on his candy. You get a free ride to the six class. I spent a lot of time in the Tri-Cities in Washington State as a child. Spent a lot of time in Fred Meyer. In Richland, Washington.

Holy shit, really? That's where my grandparents were. Oh, no shit. There's comedy clubs there. Jokers. Jokers, right? Yeah, shout out to my... Holy shit, really? That's where my grandparents were. Oh, no shit. That's so funny. There's comedy clubs there, which are... Jokers. Jokers, right? Yeah, shout out to Jokers Richland. Yeah.

Yeah, shout out to them. And there's, like, another one, too, which is crazy. I never got... My grandparents died, like, before I was really, like, doing the road. My grandma is pressing for me to do stand-up in West Palm Beach, and I don't know how to break it, but it's not going to happen. At the, like... East Palm Beach. There's an improv there, right? East Palm only. There is, but,, and I don't know how to break it to her that it's not going to happen. There's an improv there, right?

East Palm only. There is, but I don't think I can get booked to the West Palm Beach improv. I think Bruce Bruce has every week in there. Because he owns it. He owns it. I'd rather go see Bruce Bruce, too. I don't blame him. Yeah, I want to see two hours of Bruce Bruce.

David, you have the first pick. My first pick. You're on the clock. 2000 to 2010 motion pictures. Here's what I feel like. This genre is so big that we're not going to be fighting each other. We might not be.

So I'm just going with my heart. My favorite movie, possibly of all time. I watch it every month. Yep. The 2002 Rockefeller Films hit paid in full. Paid in full.

Wood Harris, Mekhi Pfeiffer, Cam'ron, some other people. Some other people. Is Cam'ron in your all-time top five? Top ten. Yeah. Top ten rappers? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Just for his antics alone. He's fun. I think he's like, yeah, he's the funniest. He said, I keep computers putin'. Yeah. He's the best. I fucking love that dude. But Peyton Full, I watch it every single month.

It's about the drug dealer's Rich Porter, AZ Faison, and some Puerto Rican kid. Alpo Martinez. Alpo Martinez. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I just love that movie. I quote that movie all the time to people who don't get it. I'm one of those people who wouldn't get it. I've never seen Peyton Ford.

Oh, man, I quote it. I've quoted it in conversations. You probably thought it was just a thing I was saying. I probably thought you were just talking. Yeah, me, Mitch, and Rico living that life. I do love a Mekhi Pfeiffer carrying a movie kind of movie. And it's like Mekhi Pfeiffer, like, in New York. So it's like super Mekhi Pfeiffer. It's not like, you know, carrying a movie kind of movie. And it's like MacGyver in New York. So it's like super MacGyver.

It's not like, you know, like when you watch 8 Mile? Yes. This future dude's kind of corny. This is like MacGyver. MacGyver, I feel like this is the only role he ever won. MacGyver in the pocket. Yeah, in the pocket. Wood Harris?

I don't know Wood Harris either. You know Wood Harris. From the wire. Oh, that's right. His picture onipedia is him in an nba when they had that celebrity league that's all i want is my picture to be dude you should play in the nba celebrity league man i'm trying oh he was in above the rim oh i know wood harris he was also in uh he was in the wire he was avon Barksdale. That's right. Fuck yeah. God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm an idiot. I'm trying to. Didn't Cameron. So, sorry. I was just like, I was looking up this specific Cameron line. Yeah. Because you mentioned the, I keep computers Putin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Putin.

Vladimir Putin. Vladimir Putin. Connect the dots. Computers. Computers. Putin. Cameron. Cameron. Vladimir Putin. Connect the dots, people. Computers. Putin. Cameron. Pink fur. Pink.

P-tape. Pink. Dipset. Bird gang? Nobody's talked about this. Nobody's talked about Cameron knowing about Putin's influence on the 2016 elections. Nobody's talking about Dipset meddling in the election. Nobody's talking about it.

It's right there. Diplomats. It's right there. They had all the juice. I feel like, not now, but like, so what? The 06 election? What year was that? That would have been 08.

06 would have been a midterm. That's when. Okay, so 04. We lost the house. I feel like Dipset legitimately could have swung New York. Yeah. One way or the other. Remember when they would just

shout out terrorist groups? Yeah. Drake was doing that recently. Post 9-11. That was so good. They had a Christmas album. They had a Christmas album. They had a Christmas album. They were on their own wave in a very real way, right?

Have you seen the Let Me Know video? It's not even cool people. It's just literally people on the street. Just like a garbage man like, let me know. And then like a bunch of grandmas. Yeah, man. Cameron's going to live forever. Does he have a, he has a ulcerative colitis? What does he have?

Does he have that? He has a song about having like IBS or something like that. Oh. Like recently? Uh, no. Have you heard any of Cameron's recent stuff? Yeah, I just listened to the- 10,000 Miles? Yeah. Have you

listened to this? Have you seen the 10,000 Miles video? No. Oh Oh so good He's like Vanessa Carlton Vanessa Carlton Everywhere is Michelle Branch I used to make this mistake a lot As a younging

But yeah that video is so good Where he has A bunch of nudes of another girl On his phone and his girlfriend's looking through like, who is this bitch? And he's like, babe, she's a nudist. Oh yeah. That's the only option.

That's the best line is when he's like, she's a nudist. Like that's an answer. Oh, okay. Oh, Cameron, you're right. And she's in the other room looking at the phone he's like well i can't comment on what you're looking at because you're yeah she like locked herself in the bathroom and he's sitting against the door cameron's got a

song called ibs it's about and it's it starts ulcers hurt my salary alter my personality give it to you real i can't feed my culture no fallacy you know my attitude arrogant cocky rude eating off poppy food used to be a stocky dude way 220 with two honeys i move monies it's true dummy don't need a new tummy i become berserk it was no fun to work every day my stomach hurt ripping off my undershirt oh my god dude he has a song about having real he tested or uh he's an athlete he knows his internal bowel syndrome yeah he has an athlete he's an athlete control him and mace new york state they were they hooped up right yeah they were like in the state and now they're and now they're mad at each other or have they patched that up i think that it's like how 50 is always

gonna be kind of mad at yayo okay you know people forever and you're just like, yeah, I've known you for 30 years. Yeah, fuck that guy. I'm not going to do anything, but fuck that guy. Do you guys have 50-cent movies on your draft picks? Exclusively. No. I mean, not to do spoilers. I don't.

I don't have any 50 movies. Remember, he would just like, I feel like he would like show his ass a lot. Yeah. Well, he wanted. He got really skinny. It was always like some shit where he would like direct it himself and then like. Well, he would skip straight to the things that like amazing actors do. Yeah.

He thought that he could just cheat. He thought he could just lose a ton of weight for a role and then that would make the movie good without realizing the genius. He also had to be an actor. He's like, oh, Christian Bale lost 80 pounds for a movie? I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna lose 90. But without any of the good acting.

No. I'll do nudity. I'll lose a ton of weight. Here's what I think. I think 50 doesn't actually respect any art form. He doesn't even love rapping that much. You can tell. He did two albums and then he just does it when he does something cool. He's just another come up. Do you remember 50 Cent's crack tweet?

Oh, yeah. Where he was like, help, I, like, smoked crack in the studio. No, what? Yeah, wait, here, I'm going to find it right now. I just searched crack from 50 Cent. Okay, yeah. October 19th, 2010, he said, okay, I'm in the studio

and I think I just smoked crack. Okay, I'm in the studio and I think I just smoked crack and I'm crying because I'm not going to stop. Can anyone help me? He says, can anyone help me? Question mark.

LOL. What? Was that a cry for help? He's also hilarious, though. He is funny. No, because he ended it with LOL. Was he just joking? I don't think I'm going to stop.

I don't know. I mean, didn't he use his cell crack? He would know. Yeah, right? I think he's also kind of sober, so I can see him just sitting there just thinking that was just thinking like, I'm going to fuck with people. I don't think he smokes weed even. Some of those dudes don't.

They're addicted to business. What a shitty addiction. I've been really quiet the last couple of minutes. I've been strategizing way too heavily. And you were taking a pee. I did go pee. Do you hear us yet? No.

It is time for your first pick. My first pick is Borat. Oh, that's a good one. I knew you were going to pick that. You had it, right? It was fully on my list. I knew that. I'm glad that I got an early.

I'm glad that I got in the first half. I counted on you to pick that, actually. Oh, I would have taken it if you didn't, for sure. Well, I'm thinking about this too strategic, really, already. I'm like, I think I play too many strategy games. I'm going to build a specific deck. I know you're going for that. So I'm going to have to build my deck differently.

I've got a Borat counter. I've got a Borat killer. Oh, yeah. I've got a Borat killer. But I don't know if it really is. But yeah, I was thinking recently about how it was like, it was nominated for best adapted screen screenplay was it really yeah it should be and it as it should as it should yeah it's amazing and i what i don't like about um

like i don't know just like the cycle of culture is that i think like because like so many people say my wife ironically now people think it's like shitty movie. That we've forgotten that it is one of the best movies ever. Oh, is that the thing? That they don't think it's funny? Oh, there's tons of people who say My Wife, ironically. Overquoted. Overquoted. But also if awards were based on skill, he should have won Best Actor for that.

He should have 100% won Best Actor. The dedication. Oh, doing that character in the scenarios he was in. Oh, that cowboy shit. I would have done that. He's almost going to get killed. That's so much harder than anything Daniel Day-Lewis has ever done. 100%.

And it requires just as much, if not more, dedication. In fact, it requires more dedication. Daniel Day-Lewis over-dedicates. Exactly. He's extra dedicated. dedication yeah that like that level requires more dedication daniel day lewis over dedicates exactly yeah like yeah anybody who's like yeah any anybody who's like method acting is like wasting their time like why are you it's not helping the performance that much sasha baron cohen's amazing like sasha baron cohen cohen was like method acting for a reason yes because he would get killed if he got yeah yeah yes and and in addition like they shoot stuff like this that never made the movie that was like that would be like even more dangerous

and they just didn't get anything funny out of it like they're yeah fucking nuts when he went out and sang the kazakhstani national anthem in front of everybody oh yeah you better get the fuck out of here because there's people like wait did you say that or did you see there's a video where somewhere, it wasn't the Olympics, it was something where they accidentally played the Borat version of the Kazakhstan national anthem? Yeah.

Hell yeah. To the real Kazakhstan national anthem. To the real, they're up on the podium, yeah, and they're singing about soybean exports or whatever. Yeah, shit like that. Is that movie like when you talk to Irish people about Boondock Saints and they're like, Oh no, they love it.

We love it. Are you Kazakhstani? No, I'm Irish. I know a couple dudes from Ireland that I met who fucking hate it. Oh, I know, I'm joking. Who is his boy in the movie when they get in the big fight?

Azenat? Yeah, and His balls are in Borat's face. Funniest balls on TV. Funniest balls on TV. That was wild. A good pick. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35.

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Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com. Amazing pick. It's, I don't think, oh no, not Peter Bain. I'm thinking of somebody else. When they were doing the, oh, that's one of the screenwriters. My bad. Anyway, watching it in the theaters the first time on the floor.

Oh, yeah. Maybe it's one of like three movies where I've laughed that hard in the theaters. Yeah. From the beginning. It's belly laughs. The Jew egg thing just from the very beginning is so fucking hilarious. The shit he did, literally shit, when he brought the shit down in a bag.

Oh, my God. At that dinner with those people, it's fucking... Oh, the dinner scene is one of the best. It's fucking amazing. What was that part where he, like, just called that man's wife ugly? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not so much. This one, not so much. And he made there's, and what I love about the Borat character is that there's that weird underlying sweetness in it. Yeah. You know,

he's not like a bad guy. He's not a bad guy. He's like earnestly. And so critical to that character that he, otherwise he would get the shipping out of him. I mean, he's just earnestly trying to learn. He is the American dream. Yeah yeah yeah like that's like the thing

is in terms of like movies that encapsulate the american dream what movie does it better than borat truly yeah none and just like the way that america yeah it was so good so the best way to make a movie about america too. Yeah. At the time. Borat, amazing pick. Fucking, I'm jealous. Jack, it is time for your first pick. So I have a strategic plan here. It might get ruined.

I already have a couple hiccups, but I'm going to go start building my team with Big Mama's House. Oh! What? That's your lead off. Big Mama's House. First round. Martin Lawrence.

I feel like you could have maybe gotten it later round. Well, you don't know my. I feel like you're this. You're playing. You're not. I think like the thing about this. Should I put it back in the deck? No, it's too late. I feel... Should I put it back in the deck? No, it's too late.

I feel like you should put it back in the deck, personally. No, you already called. One, I feel like you're picking it ironically. Two, I feel like you're picking it to prevent further... You're doing it as a strategic thing. I'll give you one. If you want to opt out, I'll give you one opt out. But if you want to play the strategy...

I've never heard you talk about Big Mama's House of Wands. It was a big part of my childhood, I'll give you one opt out. But if you want to play the strategy. I've never heard you talk about Big Mama's House. It was a big part of my childhood. I'll say that. All right. Let me work through this and then I'll decide real quick if I'm going to put it back. So I'll just lay it out here for you guys. I was going to go build a deck based on movies of a comedian dressing up as a fat woman okay that was the joke here's a big flaw so i'm gonna probably undo it because the next one would

be the clumps yeah um and then big problem is that mrs doubtfire is pre-2000 oh that's like that would be difficult when did i mean That would be my main heavy hitter. And then I could get into the Madea movies, but I was trying to go for that era. You've never watched a Madea movie. I've worked at a movie theater, so I've seen some Madea movies. Okay. Matinees. You could have taken the 2007 movie Hairspray where John Travolta dressed up. Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's pretty good. And then there's a lot of Mike Myers Characters to do But I have been thinking About that the other day Of like that era There was an era Where it was just really hot For a comedian

To just like Be in drag And usually They're playing a much more Overweight version of themselves And that's the main joke Yeah It's like

The entire set up Of the movie And Eddie Murphy is wild Like imagine the amount Of makeup I know The dedication People would hear that now And be like I'm not doing that like the entire setup of the movie. And Eddie Murphy is wild. Like imagine the amount of makeup. I know. People would hear that now and be like, I'm not doing that.

Like it's so much work. He made, I mean, he spent. Eddie Murphy was better at it than Martin Lawrence. So we're not saying that those are similar, right? Right,

right, right. Martin Lawrence just was like riding a wave. He was. Eddie Murphy and the Nutty Professor is like incredibly talented. Do you remember that era? My mom was like, I'm just going to be this grandma. Remember that era where you were stoked back to back to see different comedians dress up in drag?

Sincerely, I remember seeing Nutty Professor in theaters and being like, fuck yeah. I watched it a month ago when you watched that scene at the table. And you realize that's different takes. You're like, this guy cannot be stopped. He's different takes. You're like, this guy cannot be stopped. He's so talented. Here's a fun Eddie Murphy story that was passed to me by like, Corden told me this and some other famous person. Are we dropping names?

James Corden. Hard. That big time internet cred name. Ever heard of him? CBS? So Corden told me this story that some like mega producer told him about because he lived on the same street as Eddie Murphy. And I guess Eddie Murphy – because he's kind of a shut-in.

But one day a week, he will – you'll, like, hear – like, if you live in that neighborhood, just like – And it's Eddie Murphy, like, taking a Lamborghini out, driving it down the street, like, as fast as he can he can turning around driving it back to his house and then you'll hear quiet for like two minutes and then and it's like a different supercar and Eddie Murphy just will like because he can't coexist in the world

because he's too famous but he has these amazing cars so he'll just drive them down his gated street just for the sake of driving them? just to feel like he's driving them I guess for the reason he has them this sounds like a that's the saddest shit I've ever heard.

It's sad, right? It's sad, yeah. Yeah, it's like fucking... It sounds like a prison of your own design. Jim Carrey level imprisoned by fame. Yeah. It's like a sad story. So he takes these like...

Then you'll see a Maserati and then it'll go back up. What did you think of... You brought up Jim Carrey. What did you think of Jim and Andy, by the way? He seems like an asshole in that movie yeah I don't think you need to like when Jerry I don't believe in art that deep can you can you imagine being one of like Andy Kaufman's actual friends no and then you're on set like and Jim Carrey's just pretending to be your dead friend is it with his like sister or something and he's

like trying to have this like emotional thing with Andy Kaufman's actual sister? Dickhead rich guy. Oh, that made me feel very bad. If my sister was famous and some actor played my sister and was trying to relate to you, I'd be pissed off. Yeah. Fuck off, dude. Go do your movie. The other thing where Jerry Lawler was was like uh upset that like in the

movie he's like me and andy coffin were friends that was a bit we did and like jim carrey's being like a dick to me yeah like an actual asshole to me and andy coffin that was a bit we did and then we'd go off stage and laugh about it right uh yeah that's the thing is he's not even being accurate to how andy coffin would have been amongst these people it was the i think it's another example of the Orny Adams in Comedian with Jerry Seinfeld school of like, I think I'm coming off good in this documentary. And like, I'm coming off like a fucking. Dude, did I tell you my Orny Adams story? No.

I was in the, I was in the hall at the improv, just like right outside the main room. The Hollywood improv. Yeah. And I was getting ready to go up and there was nobody else in the hall. It was just me. Yeah. And Orny Adams gets off stage, and he comes through those double doors, and it's just me in the hall.

And he looks around, not at me. He just looks around. He goes, that's why they call me the motherfucker. What? That's why they call me the motherfucker. That's why they call me. He didn't even say it to me. He didn't say it. He looked around, and he just said it to the motherfucker. That's why they call me. He didn't even say it to me. He didn't say it.

He looked around and he just said it to the world. He just wanted that out there. It's right after he fucked his mom on stage. That's why they call me the motherfucker. That's so wild. I did a moon tarot with him and he was a very nice guy. I'll say that, but that is a hilarious story. Didn't he always still make fun of your house? That was back when I opened for him. He clowned on my house with him and he was a very nice guy. I'll say that, but that is a hilarious story. Didn't he always still make fun of your house?

That was back when I opened for him. He clowned on my house with helium. I'm riding against him for some reason. Right away, man. I feel like Orny Adams is the type of guy that a black guy called a motherfucker one time and he thought it was like a nickname. Yeah.

He's on some... Oh, he's on Teen Wolf. That's what it is. MTV's on teen wolf that's what it is he's on wolf he's the coach he's on he's the coach on teen wolf what a wild what like a wild ride what a wild trajectory yeah you watch that movie and you see him like doing letterman and just sort of he's like because he got that great manager he thought it was all set up yeah and it's like it's so funny that no matter how hard you try at stand up no matter how hard you

like work on this craft it's like you're always just going to be that guy from that thing you're going to be that guy from it's so true that's best case scenario is you're the guy from that thing you're the guy from that thing that still beats like I was going to be working at the car wash. I'm still up.

Can I give you a weird compliment? Yes. I was thinking this morning that you have this look about you that you look like a guy from the thing, even if you weren't, but like you have this look as a comedian that like, even if somebody's never heard of you I think they could look at you and be like

Oh dude, I've seen that guy in something. I've seen that guy in something look I've seen that guy in something. Thank you. I've seen that guy in something look. I feel like that your IMDB page in people's head is like huge. It's huge.

Yeah, he was on Will & Grace, right? You could just go with him. You played the super on Will & Grace. If you told me you were in something,

I would believe 100%. I would believe you played the super on anything. On anything. I'm just looking for a living single. Just to go with him for his thing. Not only that, but if you threw a random show out there but didn't say what you played, I'm just the guy who played the super on anything. On anything. I'm just the guy looking for a living single. Just the guy

looking for his thing. Not only that, but if you threw a random show out there but didn't say what you played, I bet people could Google it

and find something and be like, oh. Oh, that's, I think that's real. Yeah, there he is. I would believe you were on

Gilmore Girls for sure. Oh, yeah. I might start, I'm gonna see if when I get brought up at shows how far back I can be able

to believe it. He was on a herman's head like i bet you you could pull realistically yeah like early 2000s i bet if you said you were a regular on a sitcom remember that show two guys a girl two guys a girl in a pizza place yeah i worked at the pizza place i know yeah actually i bought my uh i bought my first house off that money so i'm like i'm not ashamed of it it is silly but nobody ever saw that show you could just say you were a star of that show that's just like a life you could live uh one of the guys was ryan reynolds i was

the other guy is that i don't even know who was ryan reynolds i think ryan reynolds was one of the guys and two guys ryan reynolds had such a he was in some like bad stuff oh for sure he's had a weird little career he was just only in bad stuff and then all of a sudden he was you know he's so handsome and likable and canadian yeah shouts to canada uh the people just gave him more chance jack are you gonna go with big mama's house because you guys gave me so much flack i'm gonna just come in hot i'm going with donnie darko. Donnie Darko. See, you're living your truth now. There it is. That was the first movie I ever saw where I would tell girls,

you've probably never heard of this. Oh, yeah. That's my deck. You've probably never heard of this. You've probably never seen this. I'm going to go to film school after high school. It was totally that movie. I was on the football

team but was only very loosely friends with those people all my friends were like the people who were going to go to film school and like skateboarders and goths and stuff like that so I heard Donnie Darko by the time I actually got around to seeing it had been like talked to death for me and I was like this is probably going to fucking suck and then I

watched it and I was like oh no that's good pretty early on on accident like I was like this is probably gonna fucking suck and then I watched it and I was like oh no that's good that's pretty early on on accident like I got like a DVD copy of it like like right after Sundance or whatever film festival it was it was like my dad's friends like had the copy and gave it to me I saw it

I was like dude this movie's crazy so you were like an early adopter I was an early adopter Patrick Swayze and then later on sometimes people tell me that I look like Donnie Darko. I can see you dress like Donnie Darko. But then, for every one person that, it's a lot. Nobody tells me I look like Jake Gyllenhaal. No, you look more specifically like Donnie Darko.

You look like a troubled teenage Jake Gyllenhaal. One Target cashier three years ago told me I looked like Jake Gyllenhaal. And that was, clearly that compliment really stuck with me. I could see a loose Gyllenhaal. But a lot more people say Donnie Darko. Jake Gyllen-esque. Does that mean you get more than anything else, Donnie Darko? Yeah, I guess sometimes it's always...

Have you seen the new season of American Vandal? No. Oh, yeah. People always say that kid now, which is weird. It's annoying because I auditioned for that role. Did you really? It's funny. People are always like, oh, you look like that guy.

They're probably like, oh, let's get a better actor, but make him look like that role. Did you really? So it's like, people are always like, oh, you look like that guy. They're probably like, oh, let's get a better actor, but make him look like that guy. They probably sent out Brandon Wardell type. Yeah. Yeah, Donnie Darko was good, man. Yeah.

That was like a, I still don't fully understand it. There's a lot of movies that like, I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it in forever, so I don't know. I run around the horn.

I had a long time pretending a few movies like were pre 9-11 that I thought were post 9-11 that really screwed up everything for me

in this you know that one had a jet engine falling out of the sky yeah I'll throw this out like my first pick off top

would have been The Matrix but that was 99 yeah oh shit that was 99 I almost did Matrix 2 but like I won't even go The Matrix would just

take up the rest of the podcast if you got me talking. That's most of the first episode of our podcast is The Matrix. I've been Neo from The Matrix for the last two years

on Halloween. I think I'm going to keep going. Oh that's a good look. I'm thinking about going as Elaine Bennis next year. Oh wow. I'm going to have to shave the mustache.

Donnie Darko great pick and it's time for my first pick. And second pick. And my second pick, as it is a serpentine draft. With my first pick, I'm going to take, this is my counter to Borat, and not even a counter, more of a pleasant accompaniment. I'm going to take Jackass the Movie. Oh, good. I thought you were going to say Bruno.

Was that 2001? Jackass the Movie, I think, was... Let me look. Man, that shit was great. Yeah. That was big. It was 2002. Okay.

2002. Directed by Spike Jonze and Jeff Tremaine, and with our boy Lance Bangs involved a little bit. That is, other than Borat, is the hardest I've laughed in a movie theater ever. Like, on the floor, fucking losing it. Yeah, actually, same, I think. Yeah.

It was 2002, so I would have been, I was like 16, 17. Yeah. Which is the perfect age to be in a movie theater, like, for Jackass. Yeah, with all your stupid friends. Yeah, all your dumb friends. Like, we're going to do that, like, afterwards. There's no girls here. There was a grade younger than us who called themselves,

and this is all embarrassing, but I wasn't involved, but, like, the Mesh Hat Clan. Oh. Clan. Clan. They picked clan. That was a... The Mesh Hats.

We already knew it was a clan. We already knew it was a clan with the Mesh Hats in there. They did fucking jackass shit, like, all over our affluent Portland, Oregon suburb high school. And they all wore mesh hats. Like trucker hats? Trucker hats.

You called them mesh hats? They called them mesh hats. Where'd you grow up? Beaverton, Oregon. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. I feel like that's a very

like waspy way to refer to a trucker hat. Everybody, it was, they were all trucker hats. They were all trucker hats. Everybody was- Mesh hat. Did they say MHC or did they just say mesh hat? Mesh hat clan. God damn it.

Mesh hat clan. I tried to give them an out. They were fun kids. They were fun to hang out with and get fucked up with. They were a grade younger, but yeah, and they were all skater kids. How many were there? There were like 10 of them or so. That's a lot. They were or so. That's a lot.

They were a lot. That's a lot. It was a big clan. It was a very big real clan. It was the biggest, it was the second biggest clan in my whole high school. It was all copycat jackass stuff?

All copycat jackass stuff. Did they record it? They recorded it. You gotta get those tapes. They put it on, Vimeo wasn't around at that point, but there was some other YouTube that they put it on too. Like break.com. Yeah., but there was some other YouTube that they put it on to like break.com.

Yeah. Pre-YouTube is wild. Yeah. There was so many different like places. I remember when YouTube came out and I kind of thought it was like a spam site. I'm like, I don't trust like you click a video. I'm like, uh, very skeptical. My dad put me on YouTube.

Really? Yeah. I, he was like, I was talking to him one day and he was like, yeah, sometimes at work I just watch YouTube videos. I was like, what the fuck is YouTube? I remember that specifically.

He handed you the YouTube game. Yeah, he was on it early. Interesting. Yeah, I think like the, I think the true testament to being, to like having like a legacy in culture

is if like teenagers are hospitalized because they tried to do things that you did 100% and if that's the case Jackass has a literally only it's Jackass and Beavis and Butthead like

so many of their shopping cart antics oh my god and they filmed some of it in Portland too which was like when they took a shit in that toilet that was in a hardware store. That's at Hippo Hardware in Portland. When they do the kayaking down – some of this was just on the TV show. But when they were like kayaking downstairs, that's all in Portland. And you're also friends with Lance Banks.

Yeah, yeah. And you know that he is – you are. Oh, yeah. You know that he's like triggered by stuff. By Jackass stuff, yeah. Because of Jackass. Because it was so chaotic. Like Jackass like triggered by stuff. By jackass stuff, yeah. Because of jackass. Because it was so chaotic. Like jackass like fucked him up. I think it fucked a lot of those guys up in a big way.

It fucked everybody up. Oh, actually, by the way, you just reminded me. I was taking a walk with my friends Adam and Jamel. Yeah. We're walking down Sunset. Oh, I know this one yeah and then out of nowhere there's like a guy that like a bike like hits the hits the curb and a guy falls in front of us yeah and we were like really worried and then like we see that like oh his dick is out oh it's like a dildo and it was

steve-o what what steve-o pranked us on the street for fun or is somebody filming it somebody was filming it and then like oh man then the then this lady comes out yeah i was like with like it was adam friedland and jamel johnson who are both comics and so i've been on here uh what's that jamel's people know jamel from here yeah yeah anyway yeah and so he yeah like like the the lady comes up and like she's like oh can you sign these releases and all of us were like oh like we're we're like comedians and she's like yeah yeah okay of course you are not like steve-o's a comedian i really want that i like i don't know what it's for he said it was for like presentation. A pilot? Yeah. So this might be footage that just never comes out,

but I really hope it does because I want fans of ours to just be like, what? Why are you in this? Why are they in this? This Nemo thing. If it doesn't come out, we should try to get in touch with his people. I'll buy the footage off of them. For sure, yeah. I've met a lot of the Jackass guys since then.

What was Jamel's episode, by the way? Soft Rock. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was great. Oh, yeah. It was good. A lot of Michael McDonald on that episode. Yeah, I'm sure.

Jamel will be there. Jamel will make that next pit. Oh, yeah, Jamel will make that next pit. You said you know a lot of the Jackass people. Oh, yeah. John will make that next pit. You said you know a lot of the Jackets. Oh, yeah. They're my childhood heroes. I've met them all at various times, but it's been all very normal. They're nice guys.

Some of them I'm actually friends with, like Dave England. I'd say we're friends now. Dave England seems cool. We still talk. I know Aaron McGahee. I've spent the night at his house before. Really? But they're all chill now.

I mean, except for like, well, I've met Bam at a party, but he's in rehab right now. He's got to definitely chill. But didn't Bam go to like Europe for a, there was that great documentary. He's been dropping a lot of rehab. But most of the dudes are like very chill guys now. Yeah. Which kind of makes sense. They got their y'alls out early, you know?

Yeah. Which is wild you hear Knoxville's a nice guy Knoxville does cool shit he's just cool he said no to SNL Johnny Knoxville did imagine him on SNL though

that jackass stuff would have been on he is a really funny guy actually I guess I can't imagine him without getting like hitting the nuts well no he he he's acted oh no yeah he's actually hilarious well this is the movie where it's like he was the ringer yeah can you imagine them trying to do that now johnny knoxville pretends to be retarded to win a woman's heart. It's fucking wild.

It's wild that it ever got there. It's insane that a movie exists. Okay, I have to take my, with my second pick, I have to take my, probably my second favorite movie from this decade that came out. Maybe my favorite movie, honestly. I just wanted to make sure I got jackass. I'm taking Mean Girls. Wow. Great pick. Yeah, that's a great pick.

Yeah, that was a sleeper. I didn't even know it was good. I went to the movies with me and this kid, Muncie. Yeah. God fucking Muncie. We went to the movies with these girls, and Muncie was like, in the car, he's like, we're going to see Too Fast, too. Like, he was yelling about Too Fast, Too Furious.

Yeah. And then we got there, and the girls were like, we got tickets to Mean Girls. Yelling about too fast, too furious. Yeah. And then we got there and the girls were like, we got tickets to Mean Girls. And I just remember Muncie, Chad Muncie, being fucking pissed. Losing it. She was like, we just got you guys tickets because it's starting in five minutes.

He's just like, what the fuck? He was ready to Tokyo Dressage. Yeah, dude, he was so pumped. He was like pre-gaming with like. Yeah, dude, he was so pumped. He was like pre-gaming with like five monsters. Yeah, he was so pumped. And then we saw Mean Girls, and it turned out it was hilarious. It's such a good movie. Yeah, it's a perfect movie. It's Lindsay Lohan at her best.

Oh, fuck. At her fucking best. Don't get me started. I know. This is something we got into a lot of horny Lohan stuff on the podcast. Horny Lohan podcast. Because I mean, that's the Santa baby shit

all that like that it was around the time she was like she was a fresh 18 fresh 18 I know she was a fresh 18

I was a I was a fresh 20 I think when it came out but still I was in like middle school but yeah like

you were the jail bait in the situation yeah like I I like wanted to fuck Lindsay Lohan so bad middle school. But yeah, like, you were the jailbait in the situation. Yeah, like, I, I like, wanted to fuck Lindsay Lohan so bad.

When she was, there was that picture, the GQ shoot when she's sitting on the bed with like the belly button ring and there's the, yeah. Oh my God.

But also, you know, great screenplay by Tina Fey. Amazing, amazing screenplay. Very funny movie. Tim Meadows is funny in the movie. Tim Meadows.

Up near his best, if the ladies' man wasn't it, which is actually a secretly really funny movie. Yeah. It's no secret. It's no secret in here. Ladies' man's a funny movie. The quote, I have a nephew named Anthony who gets mad when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about how my sister named him Anthony. Yeah, hilarious.

So that's your funny quote. Wait, that was in Mean Girls? That was in Mean Girls. That's so good. There's so many low-key, really funny moments. Like Kevin G rap was really funny. We had a kid at our high school, Tom Mow, who was like Kevin G. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I get it. Yeah, we had DJ D-Lit. Yeah, you did the high school rapper. Tom Mow rapped in front of everybody at an assembly. Could you imagine having the balls? It was wild that he did. He was a terrible rapper. Of course he was.

Everybody's a terrible rapper. There's like five good rappers. Do you think there's certain movies that reach a cultural... It's one of those movies that yeah like everybody quotes and every woman loves yeah everybody but it's like it feels like too good for how popular i know exactly what you mean you know what i mean where it's like you would think it would be for his boy and it's the same way yeah exactly like this is like so iconic and so quoted like still it's so much like so many shirts and yeah everything but it's such it's such a funny perfect movie it's a it's a perfect movie all those and all those little

funny things are like in the in the motion of the movie they're all part of the plot it's just it flows well it's one of those movies where if you're like sitting you're hung over on a sunday and you're like oh tvs itBS, it's Mean Girls, and you click over and it's like half an hour into the movie. Yeah, it's a great hungover TV movie. It's a great, it's fucking perfect for that. Better with commercial breaks. Right, exactly. You go up, Papa LaCroix. Yeah, load of bong. Yeah, load of bong.

Sit back on the couch. Get your pizza. Handful of pecans. This is very specific to what the rest of my day is going to be. Yeah. So Mean Girls is my second pick. Jack, it's time for your second pick.

Well, it kind of got referenced lightly, but my second pick is The Fast and the Furious. Oh, hell yeah. The first one? Yeah, I'm just going for the heavy hitters now. This movie is shot in my neighborhood, first of all. Doxing myself lightly, but like, these shooting locations are like,

where I live is like, I live at these shooting locations. Do you really? People come and like, take pictures a lot. It's a garbage lot.

Oh, is there like, Toretto House in your neighborhood? Toretto House and the Toretto's Market. Oh, shit. Is it like,

go to Jimi Hendrix's grave? Yeah, exactly. For dudes who like, still aren't over Paul Walker's death? Yeah, Yeah, exactly. For dudes who are still on over Paul Walker's death. Yeah, it's so good seeing the street racers come. But it's a great movie. And the first one is very good. And it's aged well. It's aged in a very good way.

I would highly recommend watching it, especially the fight that takes place very near my house when Paul Walker first gets introduced. And one guy picks up by going, who is this guy? Sandwich crazy? Is he eating a sandwich? Oh, he's eating a sandwich? He orders a sandwich?

You're like, what is this guy? Sandwich crazy? He's eating a sandwich, right? What is this guy? Sandwich crazy? Thank you to that movie for introducing us to Nos. Shout out to all my shitty friends in Aurora, Colorado. Got Nos in the Honda CRX right now. So many people in Beaverton, Oregon.

This won't surprise anybody. Nas in like all their fucking like souped up Honda Civics. Your shit is going to blow up. Your key is going to blow up, Sam. Yeah, man. There was another, the Rock Hyraxes. This is so stupid. There were a gang of like kids who souped up their cars.

Again, very rich kids who like souped up their cars and had like a car club and shit in 2002, 2003. I was also thinking like that movie is obviously not realistic. Yeah. Of even, I don't think there was ever

a car culture like that, like that big ever. No. But it created one. It invented it. Yeah. Yeah. But like also if you made like,

if it was realistic, i feel like all of those guys would be like a little drunk like the entire movie like they were drunk driving like they'd be drunk driving it's just like some of those coronas that they drink wrong the whole movie yeah oh yeah fast seven is so good it starts like some of the other movies it's like they kind of wrote it in the product placement of like vin diesel's character yeah dominic toretto enjoying coronas but then seven is wild yeah it's like corona situation it's just like drinks corona it's so weird and then like with his fingers on the top he holds him like he's never held a beer before a beer before yeah there's a lot of weird holding of food in that movie but the seven is wild or like like let me buy you a beer bag only if it's a corona and then he pulled out like a icy like

bucket a branded corona bucket and he like pull them out like oh that's yeah you know how boss have just a bucket of coronas chilling at all times like he has those like his house the movies the honestly the whole canon of that movie is full of people who eat food. There's the Asian dude from Tokyo Drift who is always eating chips and slowly. He does eat chips really one at a time. It's like his cigarettes. He eats chips the way somebody smokes. He blasts a chip. Also, shout out to that first movie for saying that Ja Rule was in it.

Oh, yeah. Ja Rule was in the first one. But he was in all the commercials. Like when you would see the ads for The Facts and the Fears, it would be like, this summer, Vin Diesel, Ja Rule. He said three things. You know what's also funny is like that movie, The Big Race is called Race Wars. Yeah. And he doesn't age.

They didn't even try. Are you going to be in Race Wars? Are you dying? Tyrese is like, hell yeah. See you in the Race Wars. Yeah. They didn't even try. Are you going to be in Race Wars? Race Wars? Are you down? Hell yeah. Tyrese. God damn. RIP Tyrese's career. I hope so. He's got the money from five of those

seven movies. But he's been wilding out. He's mad at The Rocks getting his own spin off. That's like your number one Why do you hate Tyrese? No, I don't hate Tyrese at all. I love Tyrese. He just has been wiling out recently. He's had a bad year.

I don't know what happened with Tyrese wiling out. He's been beefing with The Rock. The Rock was the biggest mistake you could ever make. But also he was on Instagram crying about his dog. He had a bad year, man. He's been Stefan Marburyaton Vaseline levels on Instagram. Do you remember when Donald Glover posted all of his fears on Instagram? Yeah.

He posted all of his... It was a very vulnerable thing. Didn't people think it was a suicide note or something? Yeah, it was right before Atlanta came out. It was a year before Atlanta came out, and people were like, oh, he quit community? Good luck, buddy. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah and you

know it worked out great it worked out great uh yeah he posted all of those notes where he said all of his fears and one of them was like i don't want to be tyrese and then like he was ahead of his time yeah like the rock strategically like the rocks built his a career for himself or like you can't have beef with him. No. Because imagine coming out and having beef with the Rock at this point and you're like what's wrong with you? Why would you do that? The Rock can do anything to you and you're just like

I just gotta take this one. The Rock is so beloved that he hasn't been in a good movie other than he hasn't been in his own good movie and everybody still loves him. He's been in the Fast and the Furious movies which are good. He was the voice on Moana, which is good. Oh, you mean Gridiron Gang wasn't good?

Listen, I know we have differing opinions on Gridiron Gang. Yeah. Sit here and tell me that movie. The only person that could take him down is Stone Cold. Wow. Like, that's the only person

that could come back with the people. I would love a Stone Cold. I don't think Stone Cold could be as beloved as The Rock. No, but that's his appeal, though, too. But if he comes out and just starts stunning them. Well, Stone Cold hasn't kept the career going.

Imagine if that reversed and Stone Cold was like the big family man actor. Oh, people were talking about a Stone Cold presidency? Yeah. I could have been talking about it. I think Stone Cold. So I want that. We might be living in a Stone Cold brotherhood.

Yeah, so let's go see it. This has a very similar feel. Fast and the Furious, great movie. Brandon, it's time for your second pick. Okay, second pick. I want to be wise about my second pick. Actually, yeah, no.

Freddy Got Fingered. Okay, there it is. I don't think anyone thought it was coming. Yeah, because I like I want to pick Freddy Got Fingered just because I have been on like a huge Tom Green kick recently.

Yes. And he's- Talk about your Tom Green theory. What? Or just your theory of underrated and influential. Oh, he's just like created everything. Yeah. He created the blueprint for everything.

For the way like people are funny right now, right? Like for the way, like there would be no Jackass without Tom Green. Yeah. He created the blueprint for everything. For the way like people are funny right now. Like for the way like there would be no Jackass without Tom Green. Yeah. There would be no Jackass.

No Tim and Eric. There would be probably no Tim and Eric. There would be no the Eric Andre show. Yeah. Without the Tom Green show. That's for sure right?

That's for sure. That was like he's open about Tom Green being an influence. You know? Yeah. Yeah he like created a whole type of comedy, really.

Yeah, he was amazing. He created a genre. Remember the Bum Bum song? That was, like, one of my favorite songs. Remember when, oh, the Bum Bum song was, like... I listened to that song. Yeah, I did, too. I haven't heard it.

TRL made them retire it because everybody kept calling in, like... Yeah, play the Bum Bum song bum bum song my bum was on the sweet imagine trying to explain that to a 13 year old now though the level of influence he had the level of he was

where he was in the zeitgeist at that time he was on the cover of Rolling Stone he was I he was like where he was in the zeitgeist at that time. Like he was on the cover of Rolling Stone. He was like, I remember he like, there was that week where Letterman was, there was the Letterman was sick. Yeah. And so he had like different guest hosts.

And I remember Tom Green hosted one, one night. Like he's like, he guessed massive at the time. Yeah. Guest hosted for Letterman, Rolling Stone cover married to fucking Drew Barrymore, who was massive at the time. Yeah, guest hosted for Letterman. Rolling Stone cover. Married to fucking Drew Barrymore.

This is at the height. This is at the height of his career. And then he puts out Freddy Got Fingered, which is such a fuck you. Yeah, that's fucking a good point. It's such a fuck you to half the people that are watching. I would fuck you to half the people that are watching. And like the movie, the movie itself is like, obviously not, it's not a great movie. Right.

But it's hilarious. It's hilarious. It's a hilarious movie. It's hilarious that he made that movie. And the fact that it exists. Yeah. And the fact that he made it when he made it is so wild. Like it was such like, that movie is self-sabotage. Everyone was like, we got our next Jimsabotage everyone was like we got our next

jim carrey is what everyone was thinking probably and so he was like okay yeah he's got like a hot dog and then puts out a movie where he's like jacking off a horse like 10 minutes in yeah he's like look daddy i'm a farmer he's like jacking up a horse he oh yeah he maybe that's at the end he jacks up the horse

he like I think he's drinking milk out of a cow's udder yeah yeah maybe he jacks up the horse like towards the end cause I remember

that is like the end right or what's that that is the end there's like a part where like a bunch of like horse semen or something. It's going everywhere. Hits his dad.

Yeah. Who Rip Torn kills it. Yeah. Rip Torn. It's amazing. Rip Torn's doing two of our movies now. There's that part where he's like looking for his son. And then he like goes into the bathroom.

And like he's like calling Tom Green's character. And he's like calling calling uh tom green's character and he's like get out of there and like tom green's wearing like a full scuba outfit in the shower and then riptorn grabs him and then violently like rips him out of the shower and breaks the glass while he's wearing this scuba outfit and that's funnier than like anything that's funnier than it's wild it's hilarious yeah my dad loved that movie freddy got fangered yeah he's a weird dude yeah like yeah like was watching it on youtube no we rented it i remember we rented it like blockbuster style and he watched it like four times that weekend that's amazing yeah he thought man i don't know Your dad's a real one.

He fucking loved that movie, man. It is a massively influential fucking movie, too. Now that you bring that up. That is amazing. Yeah, it's very, that shows. It's high art doing that. The show and that movie. When you're at like the peak of your heat, too.

Yeah, like that's what's, that's the thing is I think he was like the, he was doing something that was very niche. Yeah. But at, on a scale that was like so large. Yeah. Studio scale. Cause what was the amount of money that was put into that? It made money barely.

It was a $14 million movie. Yeah. In 2001. Um, great pick David, it's time for your second and then your third picks. Oh, my second pick. How many picks do you? Five. Five. Okay. So my second pick. We'll rush through time for your second and then your third picks. My second pick. How many picks do you? Five. Okay.

So my second pick. I rushed through the last round, I saw. Yeah. My next pick, pick number two. Nobody ever talks about it, but I think it's still a funny movie. It was kind of the first one in that wave of movies is the 40-year-old virgin. Oh, fuck yeah. That was on my list, dude.

It was like as soon as it came out i remember it was like one of the first movies i saw that there was stuff that was like as funny as i think stuff is in real like you know i used to always be like movies are kind of corny or whatever yeah but then that movie was just so fucking funny the scenes felt like real life like yeah like when you go back and watch like a movie from the 80s where it's funny. Yeah, but it's Police Academy. Right. Yeah. Nobody talks like that.

Yeah. But the two, I mean, there's two of the funniest scenes ever. The Jonah Hill trying to take those platform boots. Oh, yeah. To sell it on eBay store. Which is like the first time anyone really saw Jonah Hill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless you watch that Campus Lady show.

Yeah. And then Romani Malco and Kevin Hart. Yeah, early Kevin Hart. Early Kevin Hart. Back when he was little Kev. Yeah, that movie was so fucking funny. Do you think Judd Apatow wrote the N-word in the script, or do you think that was... Yeah, I feel like he probably did.

He wrote it down. Hard on. Kevin didn't want to do it as a thing, and he was going to make Seth Rogen do it, is actually the original story. But yeah, no, that movie was so fucking funny. And it was one of those movies that at the time it came out, everybody had seen it. Yeah. Remember that?

Like when it came out, everybody was like, fuck, did you see this 40-year-old virgin movie? Yeah. And it was like two hours. It was a long fucking comedy. Seth Rogen in there with the fake tattoos, like in a very limited role, but very funny. Yeah, very funny. Catherine Keener, just beautiful. Killing it.

Oh, my God. What a crush. Yeah, everybody kills it. So many good cameos. Yeah. Jane. What's her name? Oh, Jane.

Oh, God. No. I know who you're talking about. Yeah, she was so. What is that woman's name? I couldn't think of her name. Jane Lynch. Fucking A. That was like the so... What is that woman's name? Lynch. I couldn't think of her name. Jane Lynch. Fucking A.

That was like the beginning of her being in a lot of comedy. Oh, yeah. That was like a star-making role. Yeah, it kicked off shit for a bunch of people, man. And it was the first of those Judd Apatow movies. You know what I mean? Yes. So that's my second pick. My third pick is another movie that just...

Just real quick, when she sings that Guatemalan love song in it, Jane Lynch is so funny. Oh, that was amazing. Two-headed. Two-headed football. Okay, what's your next pick? My next pick, I guess it's just all comedies I'm going. Hell yeah, it was a good year. This one I saw in high school, and this was another one of those movies where it was like

one of those first movies I thought that was really funny, was Old School. Oh, hell yeah. Classic. Hell yeah, dude. That part where Vince Vaughn said, I built Speaker City from the ground up and I could barely read. Yeah. That informed like a lot of my sensei. Like I didn't even know guys like that were allowed to be cool.

Because I was like, I can't read good. Yeah. But no, like yeah, that movie was just so funny. Vince Vaughn was so cool. All hustle. Will Ferrell got good. Yeah. But no, like, yeah, that movie was just so funny. Vince Vaughn was so cool. All hustle. Will Ferrell got wasted. Yeah. Yeah.

We talked about maybe doing a frat pack. Frat pack draft. Yeah. Which will be another good topic. Did those guys not actually hang out together, though? I could see them not being friends with Vince Vaughn. Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn. Who else was in that?

In the frat pack? Yeah. The Wilsons, like Owen Wilson. I don't even think those two hang out with each other. I don't think so. Well, Vince Vaughn's like a crazy Republican secretly. I could see that. Publicly.

Publicly. Yeah, not secretly, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see that. Not that that makes him any less fucking funny, because he's so funny. He's the best part of that movie if you watch it now, in my opinion. He's so effortless. He's so effortlessly funny.

He is one of the best comedic actors. He's so opinion. He's so effortless. He's so effortlessly funny. He is one of the best comedic actors. He's so good. He's so good in that. It was a new thing. When he was in that, it was like that persona. He hadn't even done that persona in a movie. Yeah. Which is what we now come to see.

There's another one we're not naming that came out in this decade that he's so good in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That we talked about previously. That I think will probably get picked. Which is post this, which is post old school. He's in The Breakup with Jennifer Aniston. He's fucking charming. I never watched it.

And I would have never seen that movie. Not even a great rom-com, but he's like amazing in it because he's just fucking Vince Vaughn. Yeah, so old school. Old school. Great pick. Brandon, time for you. A third pick. Third pick.

Social Network. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah Social network. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. I think that's like it's I think it's a it's a I mean, I I've never watched any Aaron Sorkin TV shows. They're good. I mean, the West Wing is long, but like good. It's a fucking pure fantasy.

Yeah. Especially in this era. I just watched Molly's Game which I love oh I haven't seen that yet but like uh I mean Social Network is amazing cause it's awesome it's like it's an Aaron Sorkin script but it's

David Fitcher yes and it yeah it's the both of you don't wanna those are the two guys you want doing those two jobs right exactly exactly yes you don't want Fitcher necessarily writing the screenplay and you don't want Aaron Sorkin Those are the two guys you want doing those two jobs. Right, exactly. Exactly, yes. You don't want Finchman necessarily writing the screenplay and you don't want Aaron Sorkin necessarily directing. Yeah, and that was – yeah, because that's –

it was like a movie where it's like – I love anything where the protagonist isn't like pure. Yeah, very complicated protagonist. protagonist isn't isn't like pure yeah anything where it's like very complicated protagonist where it's like oh this is kind of this is like a bad person

kind of a bad guy but yeah I mean yeah Zuckerberg like but then also the other people who he's like taking advantage of are also bad guys

like Armie Hammer is the Winklevoss twins yeah yeah you're like good fuck them right yeah yeah you're kind of rooting for this like scumbag.

Well, that's how I also know who he turns into. Yeah. You know how it ends. Yeah. Timberlake as the founder of an app store. Yeah. Right. Absolutely.

Yeah. A lot of. Yeah. A lot of iconic shit in that movie. Also, Trent Reznor did the music for it. Yeah. Which he works well. He works.

Oh, the Trent Reznor score is, I think, like, probably 30% of why I. It's great. He works, I mean, him and David Fincher, fucking great fit. Amazing. And it's also nice, as someone who does, like, a lot of Aaron Sorkin stuff, I mean, having that go through Fincher's lens is really nice, because it takes a lot of the schmaltz away. Yeah, exactly. From like an Aaron Sorkin.

Because he'll have that almost Gilmore Girls level of like, people don't talk like that, dude. Right. Or like that, what was that show that was on HBO, The Newsroom? Like, hey, calm down. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you why America's the greatest country in the world. He needs to express it. His trumpet needs a plunger on it.

And David Fincher is like the world. He needs the rest as well. His trumpet needs a plunger on it. And David Fincher is like the... He loves institutions. Loves them. That's pretty much all he writes about. Yeah, even like Studio 60. Trumpet plunger sounds like some kind of derogatory. This fucking trumpet, like an Italian. Yeah, like fucking trumpet plungers.

Every Aaron Sorkin script has a person in a bow tie at the top. Yeah. It's like overseeing. Who got there? Who like, well, like who, the person at the top

worked with the founder. The founder is dead now. Yeah. But it was the founder's right hand man. I remember his principles. Right. And he was like,

I will hold it up in this institution. Jack never would have wanted it this way. Exactly. Speaking of Jack, Jack, it's time for your third pick

I'm going with Lord of the Rings Return of the King There's a third in the trilogy Oh It's coming in hot I mean this isn't why people liked it But anything with his giant elephant wars I'm in I'm a big fantasy guy

You know When I first saw your podcast name i thought it might be a little bit more about orcs oh yeah fantasy well we did bring up orcs earlier to be fair we talked about bright for a second so this has been i'm happy to come back if you want to do a fantasy fantasy episode we're gonna do a world warcraft orcs yeah we're gonna draft wood elves yeah wood elves orcs all that. That would be badass to like a Middle Earth like... That actually would be a fun draft. And you're like, you can draft characters like Legolas.

Tom Bombadil, first round. The Uruk-hai. Who runs... I brought this up on the podcast before, but the Uruk-hai run like Anthony Kiedis in the Water Under the Bridge video. There's a scene where one of them's just running. I think someone's having a dream, and it's just like the

hair is flying behind it. They're running like Shane Torres on his album cover. 100%! They'll look like fucking Anthony Kiedis in the other. Somebody should cut that over it. It's a great movie. It won. I mean, it was a fucking fantasy movie that won Oscars, right?

Enya has a song in the soundtrack. Yeah. Oh, Shane Torres just texted me. What a wild. What a fucking wild. In the interest of keeping this moving. Yeah, sorry about our time constraints. David Dahl, it's no problem at all.

It's time for my third and fourth picks. With my third pick, I'm going to take a movie I've talked about before on here. I'm taking Inglourious Bastards. Oh, that's nice. Christoph Waltz. I mean, just like, it's another movie and Tarantino does this well

where his movies- Racial catharsis. Big time racial catharsis. Yeah, man. I love watching at the end when- I'm worried what he's going to do. I guess all the other movies were as racial catharsis

was for white people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They kind of were, yeah. And then he did one for black people. Yeah, then he did one for black people. And then he did going to do. I guess all the other movies were racial catharsis for white people. Yeah, yeah. And then he did one for black people. Yeah, then he did one for black people. And then he did one for Jews. And now he's about to do Star Trek or some shit. For nerds. Oh, great. Like they need any more catharsis

right now. Quentin Tarantino movies, what I love about them is he creates these beautiful capsule scenes that all kind of make sense and turn into a movie together. But like that opening scene, Christoph Waltz at that farmhouse. Yeah. You know.

He's very theatrical. Very theatrical. He's like a playwright. He is like a playwright. In fact, the last movie was really like a play. Yeah. Oh, Heap of Light? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I enjoyed it. Right, because it was all one set too which is weird because he's like hailed as this like person who's like soaked himself

in movies and like that's you know but yeah watching Hitler and I think it was Gabels get like machine gunned to death

until their faces looked like pastrami it was great my dad and I watched it who's also Jewish which I know is weird is your father Jewish?

oh 100% bar mitzvah and everything. Watched it in this theater together and we both laughed like, fuck yeah! Yeah! Was Eli Roth the bear Jew? He was. Which, by the way, I know they're friends. That is some very good friendship

where it's like, I'm going to put you in my movie as the bear Jew. You're like this ripped, hot dude who kills Nazis. By the way, I feel like at some point in Borat, he calls somebody a bear Jew. That might be where they got it. I would like to mash up those movies. The Jews that they cast was crazy

because they put real Jew, real Jew looking Jews in it. Like Sam Levine was one of them. Sam Levine got to be an inglorious bastard. Like what a fucking day for him. He's like a legit nerd. Yeah. Yeah.

That was, they had some, and then I think wasn't Fassbender one of them? I think he was one of the Jews. Yeah. Anyway. I mean that, that casting process must have been wild. BJ Novak was one of them. Oh, BJ Novak. Imagine that casting post of like looking for male Jews to star in this like ultimate.

God. Ultimate Jewish warrior. That's one of the, I'm neither famous enough or Jewish enough to be one of the bastards, but that would have been a dream role. Adam Friedland was one of the greatest bastards. that would have been a dream role. Adam Friedland was one of the glorious bastards. Yeah, Mark Maron. So, Inglourious Bastards

with my fourth pick, I'm going to take another movie, There Will Be Blood. Oh! It's not one of those ones I want to watch all the time, but it will, I mean, that really takes you to another place for a while. Oh, man, I love the end, because I always forget, and then he goes to his house, and

I'm like, yo, he's going to kill this man with a bowling. Yeah, he kills him, and then the movie ends with, I'm finished, and then the movie's over. It's a pretty dope way to end the movie. Yeah, it's a great way to end the movie. With a milkshake speech, which, again, you know what's one of the highlights of this draft? I'll say it real quick, and then we'll move on. A lot of these movies have almost been burdened with the effect they had on pop culture.

Yeah. To the point where you think of them differently. Which I guess is we, I mean, this era was really the beginning of, like, heavy referential culture. Right. Because, like, I mean, like. That's when the snakes started eating this, I mean like, When the snake started eating his tail. Yeah, Borat,

I mean like, The Fast and the Furious, Jackass for sure, There Will Be Blood even, are like movies where, you almost think of them. I was shocked that nobody, has done Napoleon Dynamite.

Oh yeah, that's one of them too. I figured that was going to be on your list, so I played that one. It's not, it's not. We're not done drafting. We're not done,

we haven't done it. So real quick Jack, it's time for your fourth pick. Okay, I'm going to go Sin City. Oh, hell yeah. That's a great one. Yeah.

Yeah. That was another one of those movies that was everybody's favorite movie for a year. Yes, it was. Like if you were a dude, it was like, yeah, man. That DVD existed in so many first apartments where there was also an empty bottle of Jaeger on top of the shelf that had the DVD in it. Yeah, everybody got it. You turned 18, you got it.

You got your sense. I mean, you had to become a legal adult. That was my first apartment kit. Yeah. Jessica Alba was at a level of clout where she could play a stripper and not show anything. Yeah. And they were just like, yeah, okay. Fully dressed.

I mean, you're, yeah. Yeah, please. As long as we got you in the movie. Right. Wear this full pantsuit. Benicio Bruce Willey. Elijah Wood. Elijah Wood was great.

Creepy. Eating people. Elijah Wood was so creepy, dude. Old Harvey Keitel. Harvey Keitel. That's what his face just looks like. Clive Owen. Yeah, Harvey Keitel, no makeup. That's also my favorite version. like. Clive Owen. Yeah, Harvey Keitel, no makeup.

That's also my favorite version. Or Mickey Rourke. Yeah, it was Mickey Rourke. Oh, yeah, yeah, Mickey Rourke, not Harvey Keitel. Oh, Mickey Rourke, dude, on the comeback. That was my favorite of those kind of movies that had that heavily stylized. It was the first one. Because there was the 300 that had that, too.

And they made a Superman movie like that. Sin City was the best version of it too and like they made a superman movie like that sin city was the best version they made a superman movie like that was didn't they that was like kind of that like frank millery look to it i think didn't maybe i'm wrong about that people will tell me on twitter uh brandon it's time for your fourth pick um spirited away oh yes indeed strong yeah strong uh miyazaki, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's like his most famous movie. I have not seen Spirited Away.

You haven't? I haven't seen any Miyazaki, but I have Spirited Away, the DVD, on my shelf at home. I just haven't watched it yet for whatever reason. You should get into your bongs and watch it. It's a great movie to get real stoned and watched. That might be my evening tonight. Just get ripped and then watch No Face. It's going to make me real happy stoned and watch. That might be my evening tonight. Just get ripped and then watch No Face. It's going to make me real happy, right? At the end, yeah.

Okay, good. At the end, yeah. I'm ready for it. Oh my god, when... Yeah, it's a journey. Yeah, David, remember the, you know... Yeah, I'm not going to... Free and then... I'm ready for the journey. I can use a journey about now. Yeah, you should watch it. You should really... It's like a really pretty movie. You should get some It's like a really pretty movie also.

You should get some pizza. Ooh. What are you doing after this? Well, I was going to go to the gym for like an hour to earn that. To earn that pizza. So if you want to come over and watch, I might be down for it. I'm on the heels of a breakup. I'm ready for a fucking evening.

Oh. I'm ready for an evening. He's on the heels of a breakup every time I see you. It's because you can't make him do it out. He's out there. I love Big. I feel like that's like a defining. I love Big time I see you. It's because you guys are mixing it up. He's out there. I love Big. I feel like that's like a defining. I love Big.

I love Big. Part of you. There's a hundred relationship donuts on the table, and I eat them all in three months. All right? That's what most people, it takes a couple of years. David, it's time for your fourth and then your final picks. My fourth pick. I don't know why I'm laughing.

It's not that funny. Yeah, it is. It was so much of the time. A lot of this is around the time when I was like 18 to 21. Hell yeah. Which was like the hardest I've ever tried to be cool in my life. You know what I mean? Absolutely.

I wore a bandana unironically. I wore do-rags out of the house. Multicolored. Yeah. Multicolored. We were all looking for ourselves. Yeah, I didn't know what to do. Hustle and Flow.

Oh. Hell yeah. Please do. I really love that movie. Oscar winning. Yes. So much. And then it just made for the greatest rap drop.

Because after that movie, then that song came out. And they just started the song. And they were like, 3-6 Mafia Academy Award winner. And that's like the best shit ever. Womp that trick, right? Yeah. That's the other part. He was like, because when he first wrote the song,

it was something like slap that bitch. Yeah. And he was like, you can't say slap that bitch on the song. He's like, what else can you say, DJ? And he's like, stomp that out? It's like, no. Womp that trick. I mean, like, that's the only part that didn't age well because like now every song could totally say that

yeah fight night they play fight night in NBA games yeah that movie was just great it was Terrence Howard I don't even think Terrence Howard knew it was a movie he thought it was a movie.

Terrence Howard, man. He thought it was a documentary. He said it like 136 times. Okay, man. I think he's been living that movie since then, too. Yeah, dude. If the rumors are to be believed. He's a crazy man. Crazy, right?

That's that light-skinned temper. That perm temper. Yeah, that perm temper. Yeah, the movie was great, man. I just loved it. I loved every part of it. I loved that movie, too. Who's the girl, Nola?

She was so good in it. Let me look. While I'm looking it up, what is your final pick? It's hard to pick a final pick. The final pick is hard. I'm having a, I'm like choosing. But I did so many comedies that I'm going to go out on a comedy. I'm sure this was on a lot of people's lists.

Taryn Manning, by the way. Taryn Manning. Taryn Manning is so great. You know what I do in those cars, D? And Taraji P. Henson's in it. Taraji P. Henson crying. Taraji P. Henson, baby. Because for a long time, she cried in every video.

She's got a great cry face. I got a heater. Yeah, it's so good in the Common video and shit. I think that I'm going to have to go for my last one. I don't even feel bad. Same year as Hustle & Flow, Wedding Crashers. Fuck yeah, dude. Strong.

Very strong. That's the movie I was alluding to earlier. Yeah, that movie was also Vince Vaughn in the pocket. That was the pure distilled fucking hash oil version of Vince Vaughn. They were so charming. I haven't thought about how much I love Vince Vaughn until today. Isn't it lovely to reminisce on that? He's so good.

He's about 6'13". Yeah, he's so big. A big boy. He's a big boy. He's such a funny actor. In those movies, who was cooler than him? Nobody. It was like the coolest kind of, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Like he was like a leader kind of, like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, he was like a leader, but not like overbearing. You wanted to be friends with him. You wanted to be best friends with him. You know Dior Abaird, right? No. No. No?

Fuck, dude. Who's Dior Abaird? She like shows her titties in that movie. Oh, you know the name of like all these like obscure. In the beginning? I used to like go on Mr. Skin as a kid and go like I've just always been like

oh yeah. I forgot about Mr. Skin. Look at Diora Baird. She's beautiful. Oh yeah that movie also just starts out with a bunch of nudity. She's such a babe. For me 18. But yeah the movie was so funny funny A bunch of funny stuff

Jane Jane Seymour Was really funny Oh she was great Yeah It was like Are you Still

I got pulled up That's a movie That I wouldn't even That's a movie about shit I would not care about And I totally care I love that movie I saw that movie

Probably more times Than any other movie Will Ferrell was in it Oh when the DVD came out Oh my god Yo I played that DVD Ah I saw that movie probably more times than any other movie. Will Ferrell was in it. Oh, when the DVD came out? Oh, my God. Yo, I played that DVD. Ah, the V-Love. Yeah.

What is she doing up there? And then that just like. Yeah. Strong. But yeah, that's my fifth pick. Great wedding crashers. I feel good about it. Excellent pick.

Yeah, she's an accepted and shit. She's an accepted? Yeah, she's like, there was like a bunch of, there was like a mid-2000s phase where like whenever there was like a nondescript hot chick, like when there would be a character that's like, oh, this woman exists to be hot in the movie. Get Dior married. And nothing else. Yeah, it was always her.

She's so fucking hot. I mean, no disrespect to anyone by this description, but she looks like a porn version of Connie Britton. Like, a little bit. Anyway. What are you doing with Brandon? Oh, I can see it.

A little bit, right? Oh, man. Last one little bit, right? Oh man. Um, last, last one is so hard. Last one is, uh, last one's hard. I guess I'll, I'll go super bad. Yeah. It's very, it's like, it's yeah. Another great watching hungover commercials.

Yeah. Hall of fame hungover movie. And that's like, um, I mean, I, I think it's a, yeah, it's just like a perfect screenplay. It's perfect.

Like perfect screen. It's like one of like the, one of the very few teen comedies that like truly gets it right. And like, I watched it like years before I ever had sex. And it was like, nice to watch a movie about like two dudes that only hang out with each other yeah like it felt it was like the whole bromance era which again is something that gets

written off now because it became it was so good it became cliche but like it was dope to see just like a love story about friends yeah yeah that was the real love story yeah because it was really it was more relatable than any other high school. That's what high school is. It's you loving your friends and then occasionally trying to go after women, but then being like, Yeah, you were with your friends all the time. Yeah, because you would have to break up with your friends. By the way, that friend breakup at the end is heartbreaking. Yeah, they really learn it. They walk off with the – I mean that is like – that's the thing about what – like when I have – when I'm like – when I have like a girlfriend, I do feel like I'm cheating on my friends.

Absolutely. It's a weird feeling. But yeah. There's a melancholy to it. I've like – you lose your friends to – and that's like a very real thing that they tap into. Yeah. Also, I – like when that movie came out, I put all my money on Sarah. Yeah.

Over Hill. Yeah. And then Hill was like in like all the, I think he has like multiple Oscar noms at this point. Yeah. You thought Sarah was better than Hill in that movie? Or you just thought that longevity was there? No, I thought Sarah was better than Hill in that movie. I thought they were both amazing.

I think it's an iconic movie. It's like a flawless movie. It really is. But yeah, I saw Molly's game recently, and Michael Cera has a dramatic role in it. He's playing Tobey Maguire, basically. He's playing basically Tobey Maguire. He's playing Player X,

which I love that they use actual footage of Michael Cera on red carpets and shit for this character that is not like Michael Cera. But he's so good in it. He's playing like an asshole. Yeah. And he's so good at it. If you watched it at the time, I don't think you ever would have thought that Jonah Hill would be the guy in those, yeah, getting nominated for Oscars. Oh, yeah.

But I thought he was going to be around. He was so fucking funny. So good. He drove it. So fucking funny. He's the charisma of the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was so funny. Great movie. Jack, your final pick. Final pick. City of God.

Oh, yeah. I had never seen it. I would say that was the best film of that decade. City of God. Oh, yeah. Oh. I have never seen it. Another movie that I used to tell girls you probably haven't seen it. I would say that was the best film of that decade. City of God? Straight up. It's a fucking good movie. I mean, like, it's kind of a big, obvious choice, though. I mean, it's, like, really, really good.

I mean, it's obvious for, like, amongst film circles, but that's, I don't know if that's necessarily our listenership. That movie's beautiful, too. I bet there's a lot of people who haven't seen City of God. That movie's really good. That is a lot of people who haven't. I would never recommend. You've never seen City of God. That movie's really good. I highly recommend. You've never seen City of God?

I've never seen it. Ooh, you're in for a treat. It's set in Rio. Beautiful film. Right? Yeah. Just beautiful. It's got everything.

Rocket and company. Yeah, that movie was fantastic. It's like, well, Donnie Darko has flaws but it in some sense it could it almost could have been one of those movies that was like

too much of a go-to like oh my favorite movie City of God right right there was a lot of people who it was for a while yeah yeah the fact that it was

yeah it was everybody had it I feel like that's another that's another first apartment movie absolutely

for sure yeah yeah yeah I got it on DVD. E2 Mama Tambien might be in there. Another great draft category. Shit, man. This is such a good category. I'm depressed that I'm leaving so many things on the board. This category, not to talk for too long, but this is the last era of good comedy movies.

We always talk about it. We can talk about that, yeah. The comedy movies from that era, that decade versus this decade are like. Girls' Trip was good, but they don't make good comedies anymore. No, they're all pretty bad. Yeah. Dan and Steve need wedding dates. Who's the big, yeah.

Baywatch. Who's our Will Ferrell right now? Zac Efron. I mean, Will Ferrell's still our Will Ferrell. Yeah, but he. That's how you Will Ferrell. Yeah, but he... That's how you know the game's weak, because he's so old. Right. He's Jordan O2.

Yeah, he could take that throne. It's hard. Yeah. Nobody has, though. Nobody has. I mean, they got to, you know... Can there be another Will Ferrell in the YouTube world? Why are we in movies, guys?

Huh? Why are we in movies? Why... ICM? I mean, I can go on. You heard it? I can go on about this. I'm repped.

I don't know if culture is built right now to be another Will Ferrell. It might not be. It might be de-shattered. With YouTube and Instagram and stuff. I don't know, man. I think if there's music that can get everybody under the umbrella, I think you could still do it with film, I think. People still go to the movies.

They do still go to the movies. Especially regular people. Oh, I have movie pass. I've been going to the movies. They do still go to the movies. Especially regular people. Oh, I have movie pass. I've been going to the movies. Yeah, I finally got mine. So much. $10 a month. $10 a month, you go to any movie.

I'm going to make my final pick. We just talked about it two podcasts ago. Royal Tenenbaums. Strong. Oh, strong. Just an amazing movie. You know what's a funny detail about that movie for me Is that I was babysitting my neighbors When I was like 13 or 14

When it came out And the parents went to go see that movie And they came back and they're like Whatever movie you saw they're like oh it was terrible What was it? It was called The Royal Tenenbaums Don't See It I'm like okay I was like 13 or something I was babysitting there like much younger kids

And so for a while I'm like Oh yeah. I was like 13 or something. I was babysitting their much younger kids. And so for a while, I'm like, oh yeah, I thought that movie was supposed to be bad. And I finally saw it. I could see how somebody could go see that movie and they'll just miss it. Oh, they're just like suburban idiots. Did you see the trailer for Isle of Dogs?

They showed it before Paddington 2. It's the new cartoon Wes Anderson movie. It looks so good. It's all fantastic Mr. Fox. I had a romantic liaison with one of the character designers of that movie. She made a lot of the claymation puppets and stuff like that. I'm sure it'll be good.

You're fucking and knocking over a bunch of claymation. All over the place. You're fucking and knocking over a bunch of claymation. All over the place. I got to see pictures of it from before. Oh, that's sick. Hollywood. The movie looks good, but the trailer made me realize a new Wes Anderson trope is whispering people.

Whisper conversation. Oh, yeah. Watch the trailer again. It's full of ASMR-type stuff. I need Wes Anderson to direct some ASMR videos. I have a crush on you. I gotta save the day. A mainstream director might as well get into that.

Also, he made Future a font. He invented a whole aesthetic. Wait, how did he help Future? Future's in the new huge influence. He's in the new H.M. Flynn. He's in the new Wes Anderson movie. If Wes Anderson directed Future music video, it would be wild.

Yo, why not? I don't know if I can handle it. Why not? Wes Anderson just directed Wild. Spike Jonze directed Wild videos? That's true. Yeah. I'm just imagining.

I would love it. Let's put it out there in the universe. Future and Wes Anderson both frequent this podcast. Future X. They are common threads. Huge listeners. Drinking lean out of like a really quaint mug. Oh yeah, a canteen from a boy scout

camp in the 60s. To recap the draft, David, you went first. You took Peyton Full, the 40-year-old virgin, old school hustle and flow and wedding crashers. These are all flawless lists Brandon you went second you took Borat Freddy Got Fingered

The Social Network Spirited Away and Superbad Jack you went third took Donnie Darko Fast and the Furious Lord of the Rings Return of the King

Sin City and then City of God I went last and took Jackass the Movie Mean Girls and Glorious Bastards There Will Be Blood

and The Royal Tenenbaums amazing picks all the way through. Really good picks. Yeah, that's one of the first drafts we've ever had. 24. All of these are great. This is a great decade for movies. All the list.

There's no... You guys really shifted me off my original strategy, which has been just big moments. I think that's for the best. Yo, but if they actually had to battle, the strategy of my deck would be very strong. Yeah. And I think your movies wouldn't be able to harm mine. We're all fighting over the same voting base, and you would have completely

locked up the people dressed up in fat suit movie base. Which is bigger. I would have had a complete monopoly out of very strong attacks. You would have landed in the flyover stage. I felt myself changing the timeline of today. You did.

Because I was like, listen, Jack. You weren't going for it. You're not living your truth. Thank you all the listeners. Thank you so much for your time. Thank you to super producer Marissa in the house. We love you. Shouts to Marissa.

Shouts to the AFE subreddit. Shouts to everyone on Twitter. Shout out to Haji Beats. I was trying everyone on Twitter. Shout out to Haji Beats. Haji Beats. Did you say Haji Beats? Domogenesis. Shout out. Every time I get a shout out.

Shout out to OT Genesis. OT Genesis. It starts to feel like the oldie video. Shout out to Haji Dollar. Free Earl. Yeah, Free Earl, everybody. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Come check out our podcast. We're going to go record it right now. Please. Yeah, free Earl, everybody. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Come check out our podcast.

We're going to go record it right now. Please. Yeah, but still. Listen to Yeah, but Still. If you enjoyed this at all, which I know you did, check out Yeah, but Still. Hit that like button. Hit that subscribe button, folks. We could not do it without you. So much love. Click the button up here. To all my followers. Yeah, click that button up there.

Please leave a positive review. It really helps. This is such a good podcast. Watch Carpool Karaoke. Oh, also, when this comes out, see me in Phoenix the week after this comes out. Oh, yeah, this is coming out in two weeks. Yeah, so see me in Phoenix the week after this comes out. Oh, what day does this come out?

This will come out a week from Thursday. Nice. Oh, February. So come out to the satellite on February 6th if you live in LA. And come see, yeah. Good Looks. Good Looks.

Yeah, that's the name of the show. First Wednesday? Yeah, first and third Wednesday of every month in Los Angeles. Thank you so much for listening. We love you. Make sure you send us yours on Twitter and tune in again next week

for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shacklockity! That was a HeadGum Podcast.