All Fantasy Everything - Movies to Remake, Muppets-style

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

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This is a HeadGum podcast. Do another brand new episode of all fantasy, everything. The podcast of fantasy drafts anything and everything. Weird over. From the world of popular culture. Sean is sitting in a different location than he normally sits when we draft. Yeah. Isaac told me what to do.

David's got a hood up and his mouth covered. I'm doing the intro all weird. Everything's catty-wompus. We came in crooked. We came in crooked. I usually got a very little. view of the whole scene from over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, Al-Cicone, and over here, I've got a lot of this. Now you're being observed. Yeah. Yeah. You've become the watcher. And you're sitting on a couch with me, so no one's looking at you. So I don't even have to worry about it normally. You know what? It's the same situation over here.

Uh-huh. I'm mysterious. Yeah. You are mysterious. That's a good, that is the arsenal designed by someone from Sierra Leone. Is that right? Windbreaker? No-talker. No talk. He's doing the no-talking podcast. No, no, no. All right, he's talking.

I make my money for my pipes. We're drafting movies that would be better if they were done Muppet style, which is, of course, Muppet on top. Yeah. Muppet controlling the orgasm. Can't get pregnant that way. Which is, of course, when there's like one main person and then a lot of Muppets in it. Although people say that I watched the Muppet Christmas Carol, there's a lot of humans in that. There's a lot of humans in that one.

Yeah, there's like humans in a lot of these Muppets. Oh, see, I was Okay, so there is a person in this. Yeah, I was, I was gonna cast it as all Muppets, too. I was thinking all Muppets. So, I mean, all the ones off top, it's actually funnier if the main person stays in the movie. I think Muppet style

Yeah. Is mainly, it's like there's one main human, like you're Like the Steve Martin or the, was it Liam Neeson? Was he in one? Maybe. Was he in the newer one? Maybe. Or Peter, it was Michael Cain and Christmas Carol. Michael Cain.

Michael Caine. place. Mike O'Kine. Marko Kahn. Yeah, he's in that. Yeah. Yeah. This was a Patreon suggestion.

Yeah. From the members of the All family who suggested a few things and then voted on him. And this was the clear winner. Is that right? Yep. I'm your host, Ian Carmel with me, as always are my friends, Sean Jordan and David Bores. Just the three of us. Just the boy.

Because Alec Flynn had to go check out an apartment with his girlfriend. Oh, that's right. Congrats to him and pay. Congrats to the two of those. It was very. sweet. He was so sweet on the phone. I was ready to go gym with Alex. We'll do it. We will do. I'm excited. Next time I'll have even more gym experience. That's right. How is the gym journey going for you? The gym jarmouche.

I have not gone here yet. I don't know how that's going to look. I need to find a place by Andy's that I'm sure there's a bunch. People roller skate for fitness in L.A. Yeah, that's true. It's all roller skating. You know, I got my steps. They also run their fucking mouths. Yeah. You're pretty good at. I can do that. I'll go to the Formosa and get a nice workout in after this. I think I'll bring my running shoes next time and see what running around the neighborhood looks like a little bit.

You could jog around that lot where Oprah. Just quit just like, oops, on your left. They have a roundabout. I just run around that about 10,000 times. There you go. That's like a mile. Yeah. That'll be my mile.

Yeah. So, but other than that, it's going great. I've been going at home. Yeah. I've been running about two and a half miles without stopping. On the treadmill, which isn't, that buck but I think that's buck enough well it's just not real when you do it out on the streets it's a lot harder to run for me I never noticed how long your eyelashes are I got I got I got long eyelashes

I got that sorry I just now that we're sitting this close I really never noticed that Max got my eyelashes unfortunately also my buck teeth but she's got my eyelashes so that's gonna help I already got my eyelashes too did he yeah yeah he got my face and your face yeah I'm gonna say he got you just saw him yesterday. Unfortunately, we were hoping for Dana. But we'll see what he can do with it. The Jordan household was hoping for Laura. Yeah.

But it's all, that's what I'm saying. Like, nature must have thought we were going to see that kid and be like, if it doesn't look exactly like me, it's not mine. You're right, nature. Good job. Good thing. Nurture didn't win that one. Jim's treat me well, baby.

Yeah. Look at that. Sean is flexing. If you're just listening, Sean is flexing. And it's looking to be good. No, I got a rough. It's looking pretty good. You got a rough text?

No, I didn't. Oh, you were joking. Sean was joking. If you're listening to home, Sean was selling a silly little joke. One of many to come throughout the course of this episode, I imagine. I'm going to try.

All right. We'll see. A gauntlet throne. Can't wait. A challenge undertaken. We're drafting movies that would be better with Muppets. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, has already stated.

Sean Jordan is here. Sean Cougar Mel and Jordan on Instagram. You know, September 26th, Aladdin Theater, Portland, Oregon, 10-year anniversary, late show added, all fantasy, everything. For all we know, it's been sold out, we've added a third show. Yeah, we

might be on our third show. We had the third show before or after if we had to do the third one, or the next one? If we had to. If we actually were going to, I think before would be the only reasonable option. Or we combine them all and go to the schnitz. We just walk everyone over to the schnitz. And people are, hey, I bought tickets to all three shows. I'm like, sorry, now you own three seats. Now you have three seats in the schnets, my friend. God, that would

be. Hey, we just consolidated them. It's just 600 people who bought three tickets. I'd love to be putting on the schnitz, though. That's a dream of mine. Yeah. We ummed at the same time. I like that. Yeah.

Yeah, we matched our pitch. We didn't harmonize, though. Crab feast-esque. Life would be a dream, sweetheart. I'm also doing a festival in Detroit. September, I want to say 16th. I'm head line in a show. Motor and City Comedy Festival.

Yeah. Oh, the Motor City Comedy Festival. Are you going to wear a Detroit Piston's throwback jersey? Brum brum. I have one. I'm probably going to wear a hatchet jersey myself. Is that a woo-whoop I-w-w-o-c thing? Oh, yeah.

The hatchet, the Hatchet hockey jersey? Psychopathic Hatchet Man. Woo-P family. You should perform in a ICP jersey. I could see myself performing in an ICP shirt. You should drink some fago. Could see that happening too. You should eat some pizza that's square.

That's a good-ass pizza. And a connie. Listen to the Marshall Mathers LP. Who's putting on this? Go to Barry Sanders' house. What's the vibe of this festival? Who else is doing it? What kind of people?

I don't know. I'm on the second person announced, and the first one is Johnny Pemberton. So far it's me and John John. That's a good little line up there. Yeah. I don't know who else. Detroit, Fun City.

You should get some pickle soup while you're there. I will. Yeah. David Borders here, Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram. There was a burp. There was a burp. Yeah, Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram, and that is it. You can watch my Don't Tell on YouTube.

Yeah. 70 million views at this point. It's probably up 80. Probably up 80. 80, maybe 79 million. Yeah, that's it. I'm getting married, so. At this point, I've been wearing your don't tell on an iPad on a chain around my neck.

I love that. Yeah. That's exclusive merch, by the way. You can get that. You wear the iPad so we know what time it is. So you know, that's exactly right. It's the countdown to extinction of you not laughing anymore. Yeah, I got, I'm laying low until the wedding, man.

Good, good for you. That's a good call. There'll be some dates and stuff when I get out and about, but... My name is Ian Carmel, Ian Carmel across platform. I'm laying high by now. What time does this one come out? May 28th. Still can't be sure.

No, you... It has to. It has to be. It has to be. Well, you never know. You never know. I can't be sure. But either you know by now, and you can see me on it in about a week and a half.

Can I ask what it is? I'm so confused. You know what it is. Is it? It's the thing. Is it the WC? It's the Deb C. Oh, okay.

It's the Dubs C. Yeah. The water closet. Connect gang. What side connection? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This game right here is really rough. If it isn't announced by May 28th, I'd be very concerned about.

It'd be weird if it wasn't announced by May 28th. I think, but I'll wait until next episode. Okay. To really officially announce it. It's two days away. And so watch me on that, this thing that you can watch me on. Or you can't. Terrorist threats.

Watch me on. Wasn't that the West Side Connection album? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can see me wearing big Adidas and large jeans. It's called terrorist threats? Yeah, one of them was. I think that's right. I'm pretty sure.

Yeah. Sean's not okay with it as a father? I should have known that. I don't know if I ever had that album. It's fine. We can't do brother father over here You're gonna have to do it with David Well the first one was called bow down

There we go That's what I was thinking of Yeah Yeah On your knees But naked please What naked please I was listening to that

Walking around the cruise shop Get horrid Boutan fool No rewind my part Poor Are you gonna hold hands with David During this episode Bro

It looks like no We're after We're after He's not your husband brother? Pillow. Pillow grip. That's all you're going to get over here. We're drafting movies that we're better.

Grip that pillow tighter. What's your guys' relationship with the Muppets? It's not. It's strange, I would say. Yeah. I wasn't, like, it's Laura's favorite Christmas movie is the Muppet Christmas girl. That's true!

I'm blessed you every time. We don't know. I just, sneeze. I mean, I like Muppets, but I'm not a Muppet guy. You're not a Muppet guy.

Some people are big time Muppet guys. We watch Muppet Christmas Carol every holiday season. Yeah. It's like a, it's a tradition in our house to watch that. That's my favorite Muppet movie, I would say.

I like watching the show as a kid. Yeah. I enjoyed the babies. Yeah, the Muppet Babies, the cartoon for dinner. The new one they did with Sabrina Carpenter. Very good. That's what I've heard.

I haven't seen it. Yeah. Muppit baby We'll do the same for you Yeah That last... Wunch is used to have a joke about that Yeah

I sing it Yeah, I watch Mububububbies as a kid a lot too Fraggle Rock, anybody get down to Fraggle Rock? A little bit, a little bit, a little bit, a bit, Rackle Rock more than Muppet Yeah, Sesame Street Oh yeah Can you tell me how to get

You were not a Sesame Street kid Whoa, how to get to... You couldn't tell me how to get there. Let's hold hands. You're doing your hat. No! Yeah, no way! You're doing your hat at a jaunty angle there, Sean.

Oh, no. Yeah, you look like you sell... You look like you sell mid in 03. Yeah. I got Bisters. I got KBs. It was a hat that promised a backpack. Like, the angle of your hat said I have a backpack on.

I, you know, maybe I meant to cock it a little bit. You look good. Maybe I didn't mean to get called out. So maybe... I'm sorry. Oh, is that what happened? Maybe. I'm sorry.

Own it. Oh, if not here, where? Cock the hat to the side, then the cipher's complete. Different part. I used to wear my duke hats like this. What's a duke hat? Oh, duke hat. A duke basketball hat.

But this was my fitted duke cat like this? Yeah. And for a while, I tried to do it like ogloo. I mean, you didn't have a great beard, so that would be better. Did you ever go straight sideways? I think maybe for like a month. It's not. It's just nuts.

It looks like a Jamie. Kennedy character. This is how Boogaloo did it in above the rim. You look like you should be licking a giant lolly. In a sailor suit. Look at that girl's butt. No, that's pre-butt. Oh, is it really?

Yeah, I was pretty young. I was five. You were five when you're on? No, you're not. Yeah, what's what's love got to do with this? It's one of those jokes. No, what's what's got to do with you? I remember what's love got to, like I saw Tina Turner.

I was like that. When I was five years old. Five or six. Okay, sure, sure. No, he didn't think it was a secondhand emotion. No. Well. It's either hand emotion.

We were all. Yeah. It was there. It was there for all of us. I guess you were the only one who could have gone. You're the big yellow Adidas, too. I'm not trying to get your kids. He's the Nora Vasconcelos.

They look good. Oh, I thought they were the Nora Ephrons. No, not the Nora Ephrons. Not the Zach Ephrons. Is Nora Ephron one? Yeah, Nora Ephron. one great writer yeah she wrote when harry met sally and stuff yeah yeah related to Zach heartburn no can't imagine

not related to Zach Efron related to Zach Tiscani mm-hmm yeah yeah they're married yeah exactly yeah so date Zach's not a big ring guy no just kind of leaves it off he married a Nora Efron so the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the three of us yeah there you go we throw on shoot all right here we go rock paper scissors shoot damn it I have not won. I have never won.

That's the founder's curse, though. That's crazy. I don't know if you will. I don't think I ever will. I hope I don't. If there was, is one that you went, you got to do it on the 10th, 10 year. I'll do it on the, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to do it on the 10 year.

Yeah. And then that could be it. I'm going to bring in a hand grenade. I'm going to go, I'm going to go my grade school. Oh, God's off. Rock paper, scissors, atomic bomb. Can we set up pyrotechnics for the 10 year? Maybe this is an off-camera talk.

We need to get like big rafters so we can climb them like Eddie Vedder did. Yeah, we should get some kind of like a-and-a-and-a-a-bander to a bunch of 45-year-olds. Yeah, banner to get unfurled would be pretty good. That'd be cool. Like, it's just like Shane? Yeah. Shane's picture from the Patreon? That headshot where he's holding his head right at his tongue.

Who took that? I don't. It was like the first one he had. And it was real conceptual the whole, you know. No, I get the concept. Yeah. Both hands. Yeah, I understand it.

The problem with those kind of pictures is there's not a face you can make when your head is on your neck. That's really going to make sense when you're holding your own head. Not one. No. No. You've never had any. You never go like that or whatever. I haven't had any like those creative head shots.

No, me either. Where they're just like. Don't you have that one of you and all the rubber chickens? Yeah. Did I ever tell you that? When I won the Willamette thing, they, um. Pull it up. She, well, so, she.

She's like, what if we, what she say? She's like, what if you're, this is a woman I'd never met in my life. She were on the phone and she's like, what if the photo was you standing there on the cover naked with a rubber chicken on your dick? Did she say dick? She said dick. And I go, and I was like, why don't we grab coffee? Let me get to know you first. So she, she comes in a photo you nude immediately.

She comes in to get coffee and sits down. I go, no way that's happening. And I was like, if you got like 4,000 rubber chickens, I could see myself laying in a bed like American Beauty style. Right. Naked? Well, I never thought it would happen. You're like Tupacukukes. I never thought it would happen.

I never thought it would happen. Yeah. She hits me up four days later. She goes, all right, 4,000 rubber chickens on their way. And I'm like, are you serious? So I go, I'm going to wear my clothes. And then that's how that photo. This is what killed print media in Portland.

Damn, you really could have, you really had a chance to go nuts. I could have been naked in there and I was like, can we source this photo I'd really like to see. I can't find it. But also another option, they were like, what if we stand in the Plaid pantry and you dump a gallon of milk on your head? That's funny.

And we have a photo. It is not. I would have done that. That's like clown. Pol or 2%? Oh, it's not? That's like a cool picture. You're in Platt pantry, pour milk on your head?

You have your clothes on. That's not clown shit. That would be cool. You should have done that. You fucked up. You should have done the naked chicken dick thing. Yeah, you should have done that. So it's just, it's just there.

Yeah, I don't, I mean, I got it on my Instagram somewhere. I will find it for you. What would it take to, what would it take for you? What, what magazine would you be naked on the cover for with the rubber chicken over your dog? Horse and hound. Yeah, source. Field and stream. The source if you were, what is it?

If the world, if there's a world where you ended up naked on the source with a rubber chicken on your dick, If gear crisis. If your crisis turned into thrift shop. Or like the double Excel freshman 2027? Yeah. I would do it on like... You're the only one naked? Rolling Stone.

Everyone else is just regular rapper pictures. Come on. What are you guys doing? I can't. I'm trying to find it for you. It's on here somewhere. It's okay. David, you won. It's a serpentine draft.

Yeah. What is that? That's a great question. It's like hip hop. Array. Oh. Hey. But it'd be like,

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Oh. Hey. So basically, if you pick fourth in the third in the first round, you pick first in the second round. With that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be?

David E. and Sean. Ooh. I have not been on a hot corner in a month. We've had a weird day. Yeah. Two days. What day? David E and Sean is the order of today's draft.

Oh, you should have taken your shirt off. Let me see that. I could have. You could barely even. see I'm wearing a shirt. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was a whole, like, room. Do you think she was just trying to get you naked? I don't think so. I really don't. Should I boost the post from 12 years ago? Booster, dude. The order is David Ian Sean in the Muppetize a movie. Muppetize a movie.

All Fantasy Everything draft. We're going to get to that first pick right after the short break. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, it is summertime. We are in the thick of it. everybody's favorite season. You got all that sunlight, all that vitamin D kicking out there. Kids are out of school. It's adventure time. And for, myself included, juggling all that can be tough. Summertime, you want to feel like you're taking advantage of every single thing.

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Ma'am, we're back. Ma'am, we're back? Ma'am, we're back. We're back. We're back a dinosaur story? Remember that? Yeah, I do remember that. Dinosaurs in the modern age.

Yeah, they were like a new. York. Yeah. Tearcks had a big head. They were walking here. Yeah. It was a movie? Yeah.

Animated. Uh-uh. Were they, they were dinosaur-sized? They were dinosaur-sized. And just terrorizing New York? No. No, no, no, no. It was charming.

Yeah. Interesting. Okay. All right. What dinosaur you want to see the most? What dinosaur would I want to see the most? If you could see one IRA. Probably the biggest, like the, the...

Loseraptoraptor. Be so scared. Like a Bronosaurus-ass-ass-ass-one. Yeah, or like one of those water ones. Oh, like the megalon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, they'd be so scary. Like, if they're as big as they were supposed to be.

Oh, it'd be so scary. So scary. No, what I'm doing? You're just in your kayak in the middle of the ocean like you do? Yeah, that's right. That would be scary to see anything. There are people who see whales out there. I'm not trying to see.

I love and celebrate the whale. I am not trying to see a whale. Not on a kayak. Not out there. A helicopter would be a good way to see a whale. From the shore. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Or a helicopter. Whales on a boat. I see whales from the shore and it's pretty cool. I've seen them on boats, but not blue whales. Like, gray whales are fine. Still huge, but it's not terrifying. A blue whale would be nuts.

Yeah. It's not interested in us, which we know, but like, but that's... Still. Nonchalantly. Just so big. Just fuck up your whole story. David, you have the first pick in the Muppetized movie. All-Fends everything, Graff.

What is your pick going to be? Training Day. Wow. Who's the Muppet? No. Genzel is the man. Yeah. And then everything else is a Muppet.

Wow, Training Day. Damn, Fawsey. I don't know you like to get wet. Miss Piggy is Eva Mendez. Is Fossey the Ethan Huck? Yeah, I think so. But then everything still happens, so it's a bunch of Russian Muppets. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I have a daughter. I have a dot Is that what he's saying? I have a little girl I have a little girl Right that's what he's saying In the bat though right

He's like Kiko ain't got shit on me Yeah Yeah He's just saying it to a bunch of Muppets Yeah yeah yeah Still gets an Oscar Yeah and then Gonso's like

You gotta put your own work in around here Yeah I think it would be fantastic Just a tense game a Muppet poker Yeah yeah yeah yeah They can't say shit pushed It has to be something else Because it's the Muppets

Buzz pushed Oh, you got your fudge pushed in real good. That makes it worse. That's like Stadler and Waldorf. Yeah. I got my fudge pushed in. Oh, God.

I've been really blowing it on impressions today. He's going to hand up his backside. What was the other than? Jamaican Shrek. I don't know what the fuck that was. Jamaica and me Shrek. I don't know what the fuck that was. Yeah, training day.

Yeah. I love the idea of a serious action movie. And it's Denzel Washington still do it. But it's just, yeah, the rest is Muppets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's really good. Smiley, the Smiley Muppet. Yeah. Just that thick, man.

That could be like Eddie the Eagle. Oh, I was thinking like Dr. Teeth. Oh, that's good. Because you can't see his eyes really kind of right. Is Eddie Eagle one of the other cops? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fair. Like a cop who goes to visit. There was also a bar I used to go to called Dr. Teeth in the Electric Mayhem.

I didn't stand up there once. On Mission Street, yeah. Yeah. Oh, baby. Oh. Time for my first pick. I went a little, so I've got picks on what? My first pick.

No, it's not. No, you're on. I'm last, I'm a hot corner. Yeah, we're going. Oh, hot corner. I thought you were going this way. No, no, no, no. Yeah.

You know, one other way I could go. It could have been you. It could have been you, but you abandoned me on this couch. That's true. Isaac told me what to do. I wanted to separate the whites in this room. That's what happened. Damn.

Long pause till he said, in this room, huh? First of all, standing out there screaming in the street. I'm not white. I'm one-eight French. Oh, right.

My dad said sometimes that I was Lakota. Sometimes at the end of the night my dad told me I was Cherokee. What did you tell you were at the beginning of the night? Not barely his son. And then the bottle would just go all the way down.

He's like, bud, you're damn near a full-blooded Cherokee. How much would he drink in a day? Oh, it gets depressing. He would drink a lot. Okay. What are these socks? I was wondering. Oh, atmosphere socks.

I don't mean to go piece by piece through your whole outfit. Atmospheric socks. He does my tax. I did this two ways. I have the ones that I, like, I think, like, I would earnestly like to see training day. A lot of my picks are things that I think they could actually do. Oh, that they could get done. That could they actually get done.

And I might just stick with that the entire time. I might do that. but everyone feel free to play jazz. I don't think we should all do that. Working jazz in again, huh? He was saying that before. Yeah, yeah. That's what got you into jazz was saying play jazz.

Just feel free to play jazz. Yeah. I'm going to go with Space Jam. Oh, yeah. It's Michael Jordan and everybody else is a Muppet. Switch from Looney Tunes to Muppet. Yeah, yeah. That's way too. So he's got, you know, like Kermit's on his team, Fazzy's on his team, Gonzo's on his team,

Miss Biggie's on his team, and then it's Michael Jordan, and then you do new Muppets of these basketball players getting their skills taken. So right now you would do like a Victor Wemba Nama, alien Muppet. You would do, you know, like an Anthony Edwards Muppet. Yeah. You would do a probably Damien Lillard still, Scoot Henderson. Are we just in a pitch?

Tumani Camara. Yeah, really? Do I have enough money to make this happen? I don't know. I mean, like, we're going to have to get the rights. I genuinely think like that would be, if they would have done Space Jam 2 like that, it would have been like a vastly superior movie.

Yeah, yeah. Then Don Cheadle is the internet or whatever the fuck. Yeah, whatever they did with it. But like you do this and you get like a Steph Curry Muppet. You know what I mean? A LeBron Muppet. Like that's fun all of us. And they're like huge and like Monstared out and everything.

Oh, you know, I'm not even thinking about like a life size Muppet. So like a LeBron size Muppet. Because they're huge. The Mons Stars are gigantic. Right. Yeah. Keep thinking of Muppet. no matter what the same size.

Like I always think of a Muppet as like this. No, these are big ass. Well, there's big Muppets, too. Those, I figure what they're called, but the big ones, you know, who, like, move around. There's the one, uh, this Ghost of Christmas present is a giant ass Muppet. I gotta watch that again, man. Come man, I know me badger.

No. Just full-bodied Muppet says fandom.com. Yeah. There's big ass Muppets, dude. There's that big blue one, Sweetums. Oh, yeah. He doesn't talk, right? Yeah.

Um. So, yeah, you just. You just do that. And you get like Fossey's the coach maybe. Yeah. You know over there like with a hat and like a clipboard. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, yeah.

It could be a good movie. Yeah, it would be. Yeah. That would be. Sean, time for your first pick, right? Thank you for your input. That would be good. That would be.

Great. Great, bud. I wanted to see. I'm trying to think. I didn't even think about the what would make a move, like what would actually work as a Muppet movie. Yeah. First thing that popped into my head was the Matrix.

Whoa, that'd be fun. Interesting. It'd be wild. Neo is Neo and then everyone else is Muppets. Oh, it'd be so much more fun on the ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On the Nebuchadnezzar. Why don't I say the D's so hard?

When they're having that, I know it's in the second one, but where they're having that gigantic rave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And when Morpheus is like, these machines! It's just like a tiny Muppet and then a bunch of little raver Muppets all sweating, it'd be tight. And then when Mr. Smith, maybe I'm going Matrix, too, because This is all the scenes that I'm thinking of.

But Mr. Smith makes all the other, or Agent Smith makes all the other little. And he just beating the shit out of a bunch of Muppets in a park. Flying everywhere. Hi, ho, Neal. You take the blue pill on the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland. And I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Remember, all I am offering is the truth. Nothing more. Man, you change the tone. That's a whole different movie. Yeah. That makes the Matrix sound. a lot more fun. Like, yeah, all right.

Yeah. Can't be that bad. It doesn't sound like these fucking Manosphere nerds anymore. Yeah, a little Muppet Trinity. Yeah. By Miss Peggy? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. How many Muppets are there? There's hell of Muppets. There's enough Muppets. That's what I'll tell you. There's enough there's enough. I was wondering about that too. I only know like six.

There's enough. There's, however Muppets you need for this movie, they got them. And we have enough black suits for all of the Agent Smith Muppets. Yeah, but it would be the same Like it over and over again Don't worry about wardrobe

I don't have to worry about okay Yeah, that's not my area I'm the creative Yeah Okay Yeah You got the whole band You got Gonsor and his chickens

You got Rolf You know what I mean Like there are You got enough Muppets Yeah I think Gonzos That rat or mouse They call them mouse I think that's Gonso

Oh From a in the tiny Oh yeah I thought you were trying to tell us That gonzos a mouse Yeah I saw two little mice On the street last night

Is that you usually do Were they romantically tangoing? They were... You do two sideways not up? I stopped and I was like, I was like picturing a narrative. He chunks it. He chunks the dews. Two mouse.

And when he does one, he does this. He licks his finger and holds it up. Looks like the wind's blown in a good time. What were the mice doing? They were just scurrying on the sidewalk and I stopped and looked at them because I don't see mice a lot. You see rats. Yeah.

But it was just like little tiny mice. We saw a skunk on our walk after dinner last night. Yeah. Did see a skunk on the wall. walk. Skunk on a walk. Which it was being, it was calm.

It wasn't like chasing us. Yeah, didn't, yeah. Why'd you say it like that? I don't know. I always think of skunks is like coming at you a little bit. Oh,

no. They always seem like they come at you. They got their own skunk. First they try to hide. And if they don't do that, then they just kind of like, post up on you a little bit. Like they just like they did a prison workout.

They do, they just kind of like put their paws down. Sometimes they'll do a handstand. Oh, get big? Just to like, just to like, just sort of like present. Laura told me that skunks can't just

spray whenever they want. They have to be selective because it takes a while to regenerate the spray. Oh, yeah. So they don't, they can't just like, well, she was using it

as an allegory for you. Ha ha ha! That checks out. The Matrix. So Keanu is a person and everybody else are Muppets. Who's Morpheus? Who do you have?

I made a Kermit in my mediocre impression, but. Pretty solid as Kermit. No, I thought that was really good. Yeah. Because Kermit seems wise enough

to be Morpheus. Yeah, he's the head Muppet, so he's like running the show. I haven't seen The Matrix since it came out. Really? Yeah. It's, it's, I want to keep, I always, when I'm thinking about movies to see, I always forget. It's like kind of one of those movies, though, you don't have to see. That's kind of how I feel so heavily.

But I bet it's good. I bet I would enjoy it if I watched it. Yeah, it's good. It's pretty good. It's a plain, it's a plain movie. Maybe that's what I don't know I watch it. And then I got to be honest My second thing

This is also I just, I really thought it would be fun Is Rocky Oh, that's funny Yeah I had that I had that kicking around In the old noodle as well

Yeah it's but what if It's like what if Rocky's a Muppet What if like If Rockies the Muppet When Mick is or Apollo's a guy? Maybe like a pot yeah Or Ivan or just Like what if you do a later Rocky

Yeah maybe What if there's like a weird Rocky is a Muppet, but he's still the, like the main character, the protagonist is the whole thing. Ivan is Ivan. And then tiny little Muppet Rocky beats his ass.

You know what I mean? Like rallies jumps up real high. Yeah, jumps up real high, hits him. Training montage, tiny little Rocky, little Muppet Rocky running with a log on his back. Who's Adrian? Oh, second one? Is it Kermit and Miss Piggy?

Yeah, probably it's got to be. Are there any other girl Muppets? Yeah. The girl Muppets. Janice? the one with her eyes that are Janice Okay yeah

Or Janet or something Yeah Janice Gonsonzo's chickens are girls Okay Yeah Yeah a little Rocky Muppet And then Ivan

All his training montage Are the same Rocky 4 Rocky 4 Rocky 4 Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah If he dies He's talking to a Muppet

Yeah Polly is a Muppet Would be very funny Just a drunk Muppet Yeah yeah This are we picture Are you like casting Muppets as these characters or is it like, are we making a Rocky puppet?

To me, these are Muppets that are the characters, like Rocky is the Muppet. So we're making a Sylvester's the Lone. Uh-uh. I'm taking Ivan as the man. And Rocky is a Muppet that looks like Rocky. That makes it interesting, like these Russian Muppets developed a human. You know what I mean? They pumped a Muppet so full of steroids that they've created a human being.

And they meet him and all the Muppets are like, yeah. They're just like, what the fuck is it? What kind of Muppet sweats? And they're like, it's new Muppet technology. Yeah. This is a sweating, bleeding Muppet. Yeah, I like that. Killing machine.

Hearts on fire. One disease. And Lance, he's like going, oh, with his arms in the air, up the mountain. Because they run one way. That's so fun. Like for trading? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, he's running through Philly. Same. Yeah. Down the streets with his foot up. All right. Yeah. Rocky.

Rocky. Rocky four, sorry, Rocky four. Yeah. Again, I'm sticking with my, not that, not that yours aren't any as compelling, but this is another one that I'm like, I think they can and should do this. The Princess Bride. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it should be Carrie Ellis is your, well, maybe not actually. Maybe it's, um, the princess. Oh, the Princess. Princess Buttercup is, is the one human being. and then everybody else's Muppets. I like that. It would be pretty fun.

Yeah. They could do it in a heart. Yeah. I wonder what that like looks like if they did want to. Yeah, let's just do a Muppet movie. I don't know why they can't. Everything, if everything is all getting consolidated, if every company owns everything, like, yeah, why would they not?

I imagine Disney owns the Princess Bride. They own the Muppets. I would be surprised if they didn't own the Princess Bride. Maybe they don't. Maybe it's like a paramount one, but like. It looks like Fox. Fox? Well, who owns Fox now? Paramount. Dana, dude.

Dana? We can make this happen. We're in the Fox business. We're like a short. It's owned by Disney. It's owned by Disney. Yeah. That's what I thought.

That's gross. So incestuous. Just like a 10-minute short. You know, what would this look like if it was a Muppet movie? It'd be so fun to see. It would be... A Muppet sizzle real? A Muppet sizzle.

That's doable. Princess Bride with the Muppets. Let me think. how I would cast that. I haven't seen the Princess Bride in such a long time. That's one that I don't, I've seen it. I don't lie about it, but I haven't seen it in a long time. Like, not enough to wax about it.

That's inconceivable. It's frustrating. I should watch it again. I don't know why I haven't. Wait, is that part of the movie? You missed another joke. Don't do it again. I mean it.

Pick me up. Don't do it again. I mean it. Don't do it to quit. What? And everybody on the peanut? Nothing? No, I lost.

I'm telling you, I'm not lying. I haven't seen it. That's crazy. If you would have said has Sean has Shane, first of all, which is how I think of you. It's more of a rocky guy. If you would have said, has Sean seen the Princess Bride like twice or 50 times? I would have picked 50. Yeah.

It seems so right up your alley. I know, I got to watch again. I might have only seen it one time. That hat film is crept back over to the left. How do you like that? Has it crept back over the left. It's crept back over. You're crept back over.

I'm not. Ha! I think that's where it wants to be. David's finger just pushing it over. I think that's where it wants to be. Well, then I'm going to leave it there. I like it. If it feels like that's where it's in home.

That's how you're asking. The book is very good too, and I think you would love the book. Stop pushing this book shit on me. Where are you at on your book journey now? I think Belly fucked him up a little bit. We're recording. I think it got in his head. Yeah.

Still, I got about two chapters left on Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Okay. You really slown into a wall. I did that on, hey, listen, brother, I got like two, I got, no, like three chat, crime and punishment fucked me up. So much so that I started reading some other shit. I wouldn't read Raisin in the Sun real fast. You're reading pamphlets now? Just to like, just to like, it's like easy to read a play, you know, just to like.

Yeah, for sure, for sure. It's like when I watch something on the black holes of the universe and then I have to go watch a little like old skate video to kind of cleanse my palate. I didn't know you watched Ebony porn. There's a black hole. The black holes of the internet. There's a black hole called Ton 618 or some shit. It's like a billion light years wide. Are you saying that like we can back you up on it?

Yeah, yeah. Is that right guys? You're talking about, you know, Ton 618. Yeah, oh yeah. Well, I like ton 615. Yeah. A little smaller, but it'll get you there. I'm more of a Quasar guy.

Oh, I've known that. Yeah. I've known that. So what are you on books for the year? Two deep? Not quite yet. One deep. The bet was.

two? Yeah, that was, it's only April. Yeah, I will not let that. We're not even midway yet. Yeah. It'll be done by the time. By the time this comes out. It'll be May when this drops.

By the time this comes out, guaranteed done with the clock. And that's damn near, that's just about half the year. That's pretty good pace. Guaranteed. I don't think you will be. See, he's motivating. He's lighting a fire, Isaac. The kids call it gaslighting, I think.

No, no. I'm gassing you up, dude. Oh, you gas me up. I'm filling you with diesel. If you look at it, what's the huge difference? Either one of them motivates. me, right? Well, gaslighting, no. Gassing you up. I wasn't gassing you up either. What I was doing

was... It motivates some people. Friending you. Gaslighting is when you intentionally lie to someone so much that they don't, right? Yeah, in a way that is so brazen that you start believing the lie. Yeah. You weren't at dinner last night. You weren't at dinner with us last night. That hat's blue. Like that kind of thing. What hat? That's camouflage.

Or if I kept telling you and like, kept telling you you weren't at dinner enough that you were like, start to question reality. Okay. Gassing you up is being like, like you look good. You were killing dinner last night. Yeah, you were so good at dinner last night. Did you ate those tacos last night? You ate, you dominated those tacos.

The socks with those shoes look cool. Thank you. Can we, okay. That's gas lighting. No, no, no. I was filling the tank. When we were standing in line to order last night and she goes, you ready? And we said, no, a couple minutes.

And then maybe two and a half minutes later, she's like, so you guys, you ready or? Yeah. Did you catch that? I was like, I kind of blew it on my order because I felt pressure. Oh, really? I wasn't quite ready yet. Oh, I think she just wanted us to order. All right.

You didn't feel rushed? No. I felt a little rushed. I'm sorry. I got two tacos I didn't want really. You didn't? Bean and cheese tacos. I liked them,

but I wanted more stuff on them. Okay, okay, okay. Where did you guys go? Home state? Home state. Yeah. Fantastic. Lovely.

Uh, thanks for the gas light. You're welcome? Thanks for the gas left. You're welcome. There it is. There it is. But what I'm doing is friendling you from that book where I'm like,

I don't think you're going to do it, which is like, I'll show him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Max, there's no way you're going to finish all your noodles. Yeah.

And then she's like, I'll show him. Yeah. That's free. But I really don't think you're going to. The difference is I actually don't think you finish this book. I don't believe in you. I don't think a third book is coming this year.

It has to. I have to go. I got to get at least three. I think you can do it. I have, thank you. If you do, I strongly recommend the Princess Bright.

I think he'd love it. Okay. Yeah. I really think you'd like it. Or Goodnight Moon. That's a big one. That book sucks. Can I just say we were, so we didn't, like Arthur doesn't have it at home, but we were at the grandparents in Chicago.

Which one's good night? And Good Night Moon. It stinks. Really? It's just bad. It doesn't really rhyme. It doesn't make sense. There's no story.

There's nothing going on. The art, like, it's just nostalgic. Oh, it's the one with the, like, lizard on the wall on every page. Sure. I guess if that's its one redeeming quality. The head librarian in New York City wouldn't stalk Good Night Moon for the longest time because she was like, fuck this book. This book stinks. This is not good for kids.

It doesn't teach them any lessons. And I was like, I think that's a little harsh. You know, like, I'm sure it's totally fine. And it's fine for not every book needs to have lessons. And then I was reading it to Arthur in Chicago. And I was like, this is bullshit. It's lazy. A lot of the pages are just black and white.

They're not even like colored in all the way. It sucks. It stinks. and if the Good Night Moon Hive is out there saying fuck you, Ian Carmel, I'm right. I'm right and you will crack it open. Go to the bookstore. I wonder what those people look like.

Crack it open. They're probably listening to different podcasts. Yeah, probably like an NPR. Yeah, that I don't think what are you mean? Good Night Moon Hive, all right? I do think you'll, I think you'll get to five books this year. If we're really, if we're really laying it down? That's a low, I don't know if I've read five books in a year in my life.

I think you're going to do it. I got it? You're a gym guy. You're a gym guy now. Bam. All right. Jim Kana. This is a glow up.

Yeah. Nice. David, it's over your second and third picks. So I really like, I really like the idea of it being an extreme character and then everyone else being Muppets. Yes.

Because then you don't quite know if it's like maybe a hallucination on this character's part. Yeah. I'm taking the master. All right. He's still drinking turpentineering. whatever. I've never seen The Master. Oh, man. Full. I know I'd love it.

You would like it. I know I'd like it. Are you, do you like PTA? I love him. I've seen every other movie. Really? Yeah. Tense. I don't know why I haven't seen it. It's tough to watch with your wife. I'll say that. Or maybe your wife, like, mine doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. Laura didn't like it. At one point, I asked Alana what was happening and she was like, I'm not paying attention to this. These men are yelling at each. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's, did you skip it on purpose or it? It just never happened, yeah. Yeah, it's intense. But wouldn't it be, wouldn't it cut it a lot if it was just like, I can't decide if I want Joaquin Phoenix to be real or Philip Seymour Hoffman. I think it's sort of got to be Joaquin Phoenix. It depends on the day. Yeah, I think.

It's sort of got to be Joaquin Phoenix is real. And then everybody, Seymour Hoffman's got to be one of the stronger Muppets, though. Or it could be like Stattler or Waldorf. Yeah. Which is like a good proxy. It would. It's not like that many characters either. Yeah,

I think it would really... Phil Saifan's supposed to be like Elron Hubbard, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's, dude, you still got Joaquin Phoenix. Because he makes, like, toilet wine out of, like, paint and, like, paint thinner and shit, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's because he loves getting drunk on that shit. That's why he keeps him around initially. That's so... I've never even thought. about trying something. I don't know why I would. Yeah, because you're not locked up.

Coilet wine? Why? Well, like crazy shit. Would that someone drink? Yeah, like that. Pruno or whatever? Yeah, I don't. You've had moonshine.

Yeah, I've had moonshine. I remember going to parties when people were like they had Everclear, but I don't know if, I don't know. Have you had Everclear? I'm not sure. I've never had in a bottle. You'll know. Yeah, man, that shit, though. Like if you take a shot of it

You can feel it like eating your stomach Yeah it sucks Wild Yeah it's pretty terrible No I've never had a absent I've never had that either Absent is like I've only had the American non-wormwood or whatever

Even the France non-wormwood You the amount of absinth You would need to consume To feel the effects of wormwood Is like The alcohol would kill you Before the wormwood would ever affect you Yeah okay

So that's a myth Yeah Yeah yeah yeah So I'm not missing in anything. No. All right, tight. But the thing about absinth

was that it was sweet. You couldn't like taste the alcohol on it and when they served it they would pour it over a sugar cube which made it even sweeter. I've seen that. So people would just drink it in mass quantities

because it went down so easy. You gotta be able to taste a little alcohol. Share out to that lady in Reno who used to serve old style absinth. Yeah. Oh, really? Did you ever do that gig? There was like a gig

at this weird motel in Reno and you could stay at the motel and the lady who owned it would make, would pour out, do the absinth over sugar. Wow. That sounds pretty solid gig. I think it was called the elder flower or something.

It was a weird gig, yeah. There was that show in eastern Washington where you stayed with a lady who had cats. Oh, boy. Who owned the club. I forget where Funches and I did it once. Oh, in the Tri-Cities? Yeah, in the Tri-Cities. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He headlines, so he got the bedroom. I heard Tail. I never stayed. I never did that game. Is it Joker's in Richland? Maybe. I did Joker. I did Jokers.

This was a different spot. We had a hotel for that. Okay. Yeah. I did one in in Bellingham where I got, it was like, I took the bus. She told me I could crash to the crib. And then I went in the basement and there was someone else in the room who I didn't know. There was like two beds and somebody was down there already asleep.

And I just sat up in my bed all night. My bus home was at like six the morning. Yeah. And I just sat. I sat there up. I didn't have my computer. Did the other person wake up? Nope.

I just was up until I had to leave because I just have like, I can't. sleep? There's no way I can sleep. Because yeah, what if they wake up and they, I don't know if they knew I was even supposed to be there. Yeah. What kind of person were they? Were they like, it was like a big dude? Was it a Muppet? I couldn't. I really could, yeah, might have been a Muppet. I couldn't tell. It was her roommate. So they probably knew, but I was just like it's such a, I didn't know they were going to be there. She did not tell me that. Did you have a little buzz on or were you stone sober? I might have had a little buzz, but not enough to shine me through that. It wore off immediately.

Yeah. No, yeah, I bet. Man, that was, those gigs, man, thank God.

Thank God. And I think I got like 250 bucks. Sure, I bet. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No,

you're not staying in a room with a stranger and they also paid you $1,000. You know what? Sorry, here's five grand. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You took the buy a room. You took the buy out. The gigs that actually pay all the, when the gig is more than the room you know what I mean

that's like when you're in good territory I remember a long time I just thought the good gigs were gigs that gave you a hotel whereas like I heard they give you a room now you're like well that's just part of any gig I'll never forget my first room in comedy was in Fresno California the first time you got a hotel yeah and four of us did the gig

and you were all in the same room two beds two beds pretty bad yeah yeah but Fresno was my first the first hotel I ever got for comedy. Fresno. Don't remember mine. Probably 20, probably like, probably like early,

like spring 2011. Mine might have been tri-civis. That sounds right. These, like, Peoria was mine, I bet, where I was featuring for your boy, Chinaman. Sure.

And they put me up. And I thought I was just like, damn. And they gave you like, I think it was like 600 bucks. Wow. And he tipped me. He gave me an extra 50.

The owner did. I don't know if that was a move that he worked in. to make it seem like he was giving me more when he did that with everyone. Don't overthink it. Yeah, I was so hyped, dude. Yeah. That 50.

Yeah. That money doesn't exist. That mattered. Yeah. It mattered, but you're like, well, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't real. Thanks for paying the tabs tonight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, I'll pay the rent with the six. This is for daddy. Going straight to, it was like, it was like, oh, Flanagan's. They had some Irish bar downtown over the four in the morning. Yep. Man. Illinois.

Those for the day. Those were the days when I was living. David, your third pick. A league of their own. Oh, that's great. That they can do. Tom Hanks is the person. Yes.

That's great. Because you don't need them all the time, but you get a ton of them to, like, balance it, and then it's just like a sweet story with Muppets. Yeah. That's great. You know, I think Doddy's Miss Piggy probably. Yeah, they're all having to be Miss Piggy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. They give Miss Piggy, like, daughters in Christmas Carol. So I think you could like, you know. Kit has to be the other, Jane probably. Yeah. Is that the other pig? That's the other.

Oh, Janet. That's so hard. That's Doddy's sister. Yeah. Which one of these bigs is. Well, there's two pigs. I know. It's just sounds funny when you're thinking about a leak of their own.

Kit is the woman. Right. Doddy's little sister. Yes. No, I know that. Oh, okay. Are they both Miss Piggy's? No, I think Kit could be Janet.

Or because she talks a lot. Kids can't girl, right? I think you make them both pigs. Okay, and then all the way made, they're all pigs? No, I think those sisters are pigs. That's so funny. Put that hat on street, man. I don't put a ball boogaloo it.

Miss Pugie. There's a Miss Piggy and a Miss Pugie. And they added a Denise when they did that, like, sitcom. She's, she sucked, though. Well, whatever the calibration is. I think there's enough, you make the little, fat little boy, I think there's enough going on that it would be really fun to do a league of their own with the Muppets. Who is the assistant manager in a league of their own?

Still well? Oh, no. Who played him in the original? Was it J-Tale Alexander? No. No, no, no, no, no. John Lovitz. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I haven't seen it in such a long time. Really? I'll catch bits and pieces on on YouTube TV sometimes Did you watch this? You didn't watch the series either? Uh-uh. You're going to watch it with your dutter, the movie.

Yeah, I do. It's so good. Yeah. It's so good. And there's not like a lot of adult themes either. I guess all the way May. Yeah. Yeah, it is. He pees for a long time.

He peased for so long. It's so funny. That too, yeah. It's really good. Oh, oh. Just butt shaking a little bit. I might throw that on tonight. It's baseball time.

Right. First, we're going to throw to my third pick. What's that, Isaac? A break. Oh, no. Well, if you insist, we'll be right back with more All Fantasy Everything after this. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babel. If you are traveling this summer, if you're going to a different country, going abroad,

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listeners up to 60% off. Go to babble.com slash all fantasy. That's Babel, BABB-B-B-B-E-L-com slash all- Fantasy for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host the show, What's our podcast here on HeadGum. This podcast is brought to you by Square Spang. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online Like you skateboarding through the internet or you're like you're surfing through the web Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain showcase your offerings with a professional website

Grow your brand and get paid all in one place I like that it's all in one place I know I like that I don't have to go around you know like different stores or something It's just on my website Well it's like oh do I need to go to like a do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or to like a another type of website to upload the, no, it's all in one place. The video or the audio or like,

no, I want, it makes it easy, make it easy on me, please. Yes, and you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts. You know, I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. There are SEO tools, which I know what those are, and they're custom domains. Oh, what's come up with a domain right now?

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And when you're ready to launch, use off for code headgum, save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it. Hey, welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. Sean's going to watch a league of their own. Yeah, I could see that happening. Time for my third pick. With my third pick, I'm going to take...

Okay, this is a silly one. I'll go with my silly one. Okay. Die hard. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

John McLean is Bruce Willis and everybody else is a Muppet. That's fantastic. And we're talking cocaine doing Muppets. Yes. Muppets were doing cocaine. Muppets with machine guns. Terrorist Muppets. Terrorist Muppets.

That's the time period. The Muppets are the most golden to me anyways, maybe because of my age. But late 80s, early 90s, that's like kind of. That you're a Muppets. Yeah. Yeah. You got the Muppet FBI agents in the helicopter. You got, yeah, absolutely.

Johnson and, what Johnson and Johnson, Johnson, right? Yeah, yeah. You got the Muppet limo driver, Muppet Reginaldell Johnson. Then you get the Muppet Spentoff Family Matters Muppets. That happens too. That's part of the universe. Oracle Muppet. Yeah.

Little Muppet Twinkies and his little Muppet arms holding all those little Muppet Twinkies. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. And you'll get to see, oh, no, that'll still be a John McLean. When he walks over the glass, I was going to say, you get the full. Hans gets a Muppet bullet. to the Muppet brains. Yeah.

That's pretty buck. Yeah. Then he falls out of the roof. Yeah, that'd be nuts. An adult Muppet situation. An adult Muppet situation. I like that a lot. I wonder who I make Hans Gruber.

Man, that was... It might have to be a new Muppet because you can't see any of our beloved Muppets to get shot in the head. No, no, no, no, no, no. But the guy who does the cocaine is animal. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Hans Bubby, that guy. Hans Buby!

Just a little Muppet. Staying right. Just a little bit. You miss a little something. Yeah. Muppet Tuckaggie. Muppet Tickokke. Sean,

time for your third pick. Well, you know, I like a love story, so I'm going to go Titanic. Oh, that's cool. Okay. I was just on a cruise ship. Who's the person? Can I have two? Can they both be?

Yeah, you can. I think you can have Jack and Rose. Yeah, yeah. And then everyone else on the ship is a Muppet, so her evil Muppet would be husband. Billy Zane but really like way short to be like you're my wife

but like she's feet taller than he is yeah yeah just they could be it gets a little dark it gets a little adult at the end when all the Muppets

get wet and they're sinking down in the ground but you know the first part of it with the Muppets in their Brandy room and their Muppet cigars

it'd be pretty fun all the Muppets all the Irish Muppets and steer yeah yeah when they're dancing the Muppet arm wrestling

hammered Muppets yeah I think I got Titanic on the brain because I was on the cruise ship. Were you thinking about Titanic while you were on that cruise ship? I have been having cruise ship dreams. That's not good.

I had a dream the other day that the crew, do you ever see that went off the coast to Italy that like crashed into the coast and everybody just kind of was able to get off casually? But the captain bailed and he got, I think, whatever court marty arrested, whatever maritime laws.

But I had a dream that the ship, yeah, like went up on the shore and we all had to evacuate. I've had probably five cruise. ship dreams. Wow. Since that thing. You were to wind up.

It really got it. That would affect you. I think it did get to me. Like, standing out at night on that, looking out into nothing when the railing just comes up a little bit above your waist, is not, it's too weird for me. Yeah.

I could just hop over. And I could just like, and then you're in there, dude. That's what, that happens. Yeah, happened. Yeah. And they were, so I guess they're recording every second, bless you. Like, they're recording every second of every angle everywhere. So they can see that.

That's what they say. Really? What about the bathrooms? Ah, maybe. Just in case you're going to kill someone in the bathroom. Those open-air bathrooms? They say they have sensors, too, so if anything falls overboard, they know. I don't believe it.

Did you throw anything overboard? No. Did you test it out? Just throw a pussy. Throwing cans overboard? An omelet? Just frisbee and omelet off, just to see? Just a whole pizza like, see?

No one's coming to save the pizza. What was the food like? They feed you, right? Like, we're here to buy. They had a buffet from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. that you could go to any time that you wanted. That'd be a problem for me. Anyone that had a ticket.

It was good food, but it was also buffet food. Yeah. So, you know, you could go get shaved. They had like a shaved meat. They had bowls of steamed vegetables, which I was, every day, I would go shovel some in like it was a job. Yeah, you have to. But then, like, also a hot dog bar, a burger bar, pizza all the time.

That's where you could find me. My wife's leaving this weekend. Hot dog bar? I'm fucking scared. I was like, damn, I might go to Coldstone. Oh. I forgot that we had, uh, we got our camera. I'm going to get high as shit and go to Coldstone.

Laura was, she was out of town. And one time I, uh, post me some wings at like midnight. And she hits me up. She's like, who's at the front door? And I'm like, oh. It's, it's my. It's my midnight wings. That's so...

When she's gone, I'll tell... Because, like, she'll be gone this weekend. And I, like, I watched the town or the departed on the couch. I sleep in the living room. And I order wings. I'm feral with that. No, that's what... That's what I'm saying.

When they're gone for, like, a while, you're like... I'm worried about it. The only thing that keeps the living room from not being a little cave is the fact that I got to clean it up so Max doesn't think I'm weird. Yeah. I can't have. have her coming out and seeing like a bunch of wingstop artists. No, I'm like thank God the dog has to have walks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bunch of two liters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm combining foods that don't go together. Oh, yeah. I'm eating a donut pizza. Smoking a cigarette. Yeah, smoking a cigarette inside. Played video games. I'll vacuum it up. Yeah. Yeah, that post-mating twice in, it's in a night. I've done that.

Yeah. Where I'm like, nah, I want a little more or something else. Yeah, she's gone. and I'm like, I might have to get out of town or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, I mean, being on the regiment, though, you know, like having to get up is a good thing. Your fourth movie. You know, I'm going to go Lord of the Rings.

Oh, which one? That's fun. We'll go, okay, I'll go return to the king. Okay. Because in that one, you get all the ghost, like, he's got the haunted, haunted, like the army of the dead, that he goes to get. Oh, yeah.

So you get this, like, Army of the Dead Muppets. You get all the orcs. Muppets, all the Urukai Muppets. But these, yeah, I guess so, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Animal is part Urukai. He is. It's a little bit.

It's a couple genera great-grandfather. Yeah. But yeah. Fellowship of the ring, you get that scene where they all come together. Who's Gimli? Is it Fahze? Oh, yeah, that's a good question. Gimley the dwarf.

Yeah, but who says that in my axe. Animal could kind of be Gimley too, though. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Gonzo could be. Gimley's kind of. who's legolos

gotta be beautiful who yeah who's this who's the smoothest Muppet I don't do they does anyone fit the bill like who's not goofy

because he was in a goofy bone and Legolas Legoos Legolas Legolas Legolas Yeah

You know he only He got like Flume Orlando Broome That's a different guy Yeah for sure That guy used to sell me cell phones He only got like

50 grand or something for that movie Really? He got a bad deal, but he credits it with, like, giving him a career. Yeah. But, yeah, he got hosed on that first one. He got all that pirates money, though. Yeah, I bet you got it back on pirates.

But yeah, you get, you know, you get the huge intense battle scenes. Who's the, is there, who's the person? It's probably got to be Frodo, but I want it to be Eragorn. Like, I wanted to be Vigo. I think you could do that. I think you can make the, the man, Vigo, and then everybody else. Yeah. Little Frodo Muppet.

Yeah. I guess if, because there's already a bunch of other hobbits. And it's like as much about him, right? Yeah, the return of the king is like mainly about him. Yeah. And saving the world. It's like, he's the king. Yeah, he's the king.

Yeah. But then the, the second half of the third act is the ring going into Mount Doom. Yeah. I think Gallum is. I might got to watch, I might got to watch all three Lord of the Rings while my wife is going. Wow. I did it on the cruise ship, directors cuts one day. Really?

Yep. You did the extended edition? Yeah. That's like 12 hours. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I took about 40 minutes off to go do a stand-up show for children. I love that.

That's good because the stand-up show isn't what happened that day now. Now it's you watch the extended edition Lord of the Rings. In a windowless room that was moving. That's the right place to do it, though. Windowless room is the right place to do it. It got dark in there. Sometimes when you're on the road, you turn your room into jail. Yeah.

Yeah, that's right. That was a weird thing about a windowless room is if I shut those lights off, it was pitch black. Yeah. That's dangerous on the road. door was already Chicagoed or whatever. So, like, the door had, like, a little rubber thing on the bottom, so it shut off any light. Did you say Chicago? Yeah, I haven't heard that before.

We used to call it Chicago. Probably because we did in Chicago one time. Where we put towels down there? Yeah, that's not a term. Yeah. We made it one. What do you guys call it? There's a name for it.

I don't know. I don't really call it, like, rolling towels so weed smoke wouldn't get out or whatever. Yeah, not Chicagoed. We call it Omaha. You know, we used to call it a St. Louis stop, too. People call it a California stop. You guys called the St. Louis? St. Louis stop. Yep.

Finally, a little fair play for old California. Yeah, it wasn't. Dickheads at St. Louis. I'm new to driving. I've been, I've been, give me a California roll. Does anyone not do the California stop, by the way? Isn't that like a everywhere? When the general's in the car, I stop all it, full stop. That's a big, check all your mirrors.

It's a big thing. He wants a full stop at the stop sign. That's so, I was told that by Laura. You were informed. Has he said it? Maybe he never has, but I like... Maybe he actually likes the California rule. He likes a little bit of chaos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But a son-in-law's shaking it up. He says, be a man with all the strength of a great typhoon. I just get a sawed off out and shoot every stop sign. Now it's a nothing, son. Fuck you. That doesn't apply to me. Now it's an uncontrolled. What are you saying belly about the red lights?

Is they going to give a fuck about a red light? Yeah. Say that all the top signs. Motherfucking cops can't touch me. Smoking weed, speeding. That's what you got to do. Show the General Belly. Now that he's watching, we know he's watching.

Yeah, General Watch Belly. It's broken containment. We, if we watch Belly. You bring it up, we'll watch Belly. I'm taking home alone. Kevin is a boy? That's good. Everyone else is Muppets.

Yeah. Which is how they should have redone home alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not bringing that little kid. Yeah, not no, yeah. I mean, it would have to be a new kid now. obviously McCullough of the 40s. But like, yeah, that's what you do.

The wet bandits are Muppets. Catherine O'Hare is a Muppet. Make you rest in peace. Yeah. Everybody's Muppets. That's good. Yeah. Even when, like, he does the Michael Jordan standee, I think that's a Muppet. I think all that stuff is like Muppets.

Yeah. The Muppets in, so the, I'm going to give you tell the kind of 10, their Muppets in the movie. In the Angels with 30 Wings, which I think is what that fake movie is. The conception shit. Yeah. All right, Johnny, I'm leaving. Then there's Muppets.

Yeah. I'm leaving. Yeah. So everything's Muppets. I like that a lot. It would be pretty fun, right? Can we also get a real Terentula, though? Or is it a Muppet tarantula?

I think a real tarantula. It'd be funny to put the Tarantula on a Muppet. Lost in New York might be the better one. Pige and then you get Pigeon lady. Oh, yeah. Although Home Alone's got the guy with a shovel, right? Yeah. Yeah.

But if you go too, you get Tim Curry. And you get Muppet Donald Trump. Muppet Donnie Boomb Boom Boom. Just so orange. Muppet Tim Curry. I'm going to go, I'm changing it to Home Loan 2, lost in New York. Muppet. Muppet, Shnyder.

Muppet David's boy, Rob Schneider. Asking for a tip. Pacifica's finest. He's really out there these days. Oh, I don't think that's new, though. No. Who, Robert? But he gets further and further from the shore every day.

David, time for your fourth and final picks. Okay. Home alone, man. Yeah, home alone is so. good. Fourth pick, Will Ferrell is himself.

Yeah. Everyone else, Muppets, Talladega Nights. Wow. That's great. That's a lot of fun, right?

The Sasha Baron Cohen character is very fun. Yeah, as a Muppet. It's just like, you already feel like he kind of moves that way. Yeah. Formula One.

Yeah. Yeah. Riquin Bibi. Yeah. And everybody, all the characters are so over the top in that movie, in that show, that it doesn't seem weird anyways.

Yeah. The little boys. John C. Riley. John C. Riley, his wife. Michael Clark Dunk. Like, all of it feels very easy. His wife already works great as Miss Piggy, if you want to do it like that.

Yeah, it already, it's like, it's like the character is so heightened that it feels like it all fits in there pretty easy. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. And your final pick? Final pick. This one's just for. for me. I don't have a good explanation.

Wood Harris is going to be himself paid and full. You don't need a good explanation. That's probably do the quick round. Yeah. A Cameron Muppet. That's all I got to say. Leave it there. My final pick is singing in the rain. Oh. I think it would be so much fun. It would be

beautiful with Muppets. It's a movie about like an era of Hollywood changing, which like the Muppets kind of do in a fun way. It was the switch to color movies? Talkies. Talkies, yeah. Sit down, you're rocking a boat. Yeah. It's the one with, like,

yeah, with a one girl can't sing, and she has a weird voice. Like, I can't stand it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they go to talkies, it's like, oh, no,

she can't be in movies anymore. Yeah, that was Harpo Marx. Yeah. Is that right? No, I think he had a, didn't they say he had, like, the thickest, like he didn't talk

because he had the thickest New York accent. Oh, I bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really. That's probably right. Yeah. Also love prostit. It's tight.

They're called movies because they move. They're moving pictures. Forget about that sometimes. Yeah. It's just, it's a movie. It's a moving picture. Awesome. It's such a juvenile kid word.

Yeah. They're movies. And they call them talkies for a while. They call them talkies. Yeah. Love that shit. I just think it would be fun. Like it's a musical and that's always fun.

And I think you have like, uh, the, what's the Jesus Christ? The dancing guy singing in the rain. And I don't. Fred Astaire? Gene Kelly. Gene Kelly. Gene Kelly is a human and then everybody else are Muppets. Yeah, that's fun. And then you have him like dancing

with like Muppets and some of the scenes and stuff. I just think it would be with like the Sid Chorice Muppet with really long legs. It would be a great time. Songs are good. It's a great movie. That's one of my favorite movies. I watched that movie twice a year. I like that. Yeah. Never seen it. It's great. I don't know if you'd like it.

Why? I don't know if you'd like it. Okay. I think you'd hate it. Leave it at that. Oh, wait, you're gaslighting me. Or wait, you're gassing me up. I'm doing either. It's going to be a tough road for you if you can't. I don't know the difference. Figure out the difference between those two terms.

Yeah, everyone at the gym was gaslighted me. It was awesome. Everybody was really mean. I put some gaslight in the car earlier. Sean, your final pick. You know, I haven't talked about it a while, but Tombstone. Okay. Yeah, let me do Tombstone Muppets.

Ain't a damn thing funny in Tombstone. These are very serious. Damn sure not the consumption, I'll tell you. Very driven Muppets. Yeah, I haven't shootouts, but I'm keeping Doc. Holiday is the human. Val Kilmer.

Keeping the human. I like that. Russell. Nope. I'm keeping Doc. Doc was the most interesting part of the movie. Everyone else can kind of go and do a Muppet. And he still is his smart aliquie,

freewheeling, not giving a shit self. It makes it all the sweeter when he says, like, I have a lot of friends. I don't. And all his friends are Muppets? He's talking to six Muppets in the woods. And they're just like, no, you don't.

That's how they get you. You don't know any humans. You tell people you're talking to six Muppets in the woods, they will come and get you. You cannot be... So I was just talking to Six Muppets in the Woods? Yeah. You cannot be doing that. Doomstone it is.

Isaac, do you have a pick? I'm going to go with Fast Five. Oh. That's fun. Where Dwyrd Rock Johnson, Luke Hobbs, is the person. And he's hunting down this game of Muppets. That's great. Getting Muppets with a...

With a camshaft. Yeah. That would be full. This is Brazil? This is Brazil. Also, the Vin Diesel and Rock having the big epic fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, would it change each other at the same time?

That's so much fun. Oh, that's great. I really like that. A tiny little Muppet wrench, one of them's old. To recap, David went first. He took Training Day with Muppets, the Master with Muppets, the League of Their Own with Muppets, Talladega Nights with Muppets, and Paid in Full with Muppets.

I took Space Jam with Muppets, Princess Bride with Muppets, Home Alone 2, Lost in New York with Muppets, and singing in the rain with Muppets. Sean took The Matrix with Muppets, Rocky Forer with Muppets, Titanic with Muppets, Return of the King with Muppets,

and Tombstone with Muppets. You're a Daisy if you do. We want to get yours. Hit us up at All Fantasy Podcasts and Gmail.com. Shout it to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon who selected this topic for us to draft. Today, also where you can find us doing a belly watch-along and eventually some more movie watchalongs.

Auction drafts, This or That's, mailbag episodes, live episodes, all sorts of fun stuff on there that you should check out, all for the price of a cup of coffee a month. Come on. Come on. Come on. The belly rewatch alone will wake you up more than a cup of coffee. Next we should do singing in the rain.

Wow, it's got to be Roman J. Oh, yeah. Yeah, then singing in the rain. Gotta be Roman J. Nothing funny about singing in the rain, but nothing says they have to be funny. Well, actually, it's a very funny movie, but intentional. Sounds like I'm going to like it.

I don't think you'd like it. Shout out to our ultra producer, Our wonderful friend. Our chili boy back there. I am so cold. It's cold over here. It is cold as hell. Are you colder sitting where you're sitting?

I couldn't be more comfortable. Yeah, I'm good too. I run hot. It's because the vents right there. It is cold over here. And two of them are faced towards me specifically. We have 10 minutes to eat sandwiches. So I'm just going to say, Isaac Haley, on the ones to do.

Shout up to Stucon, How'd you meet someone else? And then all that. Tudan again, nice to do another brand new episode of all fantasy, everything. Shagherty. That was a hitdown. podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast. That was us now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show. This is us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different

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