All Fantasy Everything - Movies You Want to Live In (w/ Demi Adejuyigbe, Miel Bredouw, and Ify Nwadiwe)

Episode Date: August 16, 2018

Movies can transport you, but what if.................. you could be transported TO the movies!? *everyone freaks out and starts screaming - the world descends into chaos because of how good Ian's question was - a manatee is elected President.*Support the show!Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodEpisode Guests:Miel Bredouw @Miel IG: @MielmonsterIfy Nwadiwe @IfyNwadiwe IG: @IfyNwadiweDemi Adejuyigbe @electrolemon IG: @electrolemonFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that worked all goddamn weekend, and now it's here on a Sunday morning, just churning out the hits for you, the listener at home. Probably curled up with a large Irish wolfhound in front of a roaring fire. A whole pig turning on a spit. It's so cold on a Sunday morning. It's so cold. It's so cold out here. The mist rolling in over the bog.

Most of our listeners live near bogs, by the way, which is a weird thing. We looked on the statistics on the Art19, and the only thing it says is bog dwellers cranberry farmers yeah cranberry farmer it's 90 scots yeah it's a lot of scotsman scots women scots people of a non-binary gender uh it it's that podcast that's the podcast it is you can all talk by the way okay i don't want to oh oh no i'm so used to sean doing it i don't know what i'm supposed to do what a what a move that would be to go on a podcast and never talk, though. Yeah, I'll come do it. Yeah, like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Ah. Mm. Oh. Oh, shit. Ah, okay. Mm. Mm. And then you just let that person twist in the wind.

Yeah. Let's experiment with it later. Not this episode. Okay. Yeah. We'll do a draft of people that that don't talk yeah yeah people who uh who live rich into this today we're drafting people who live rich internal lives but you'd never guess it from the way they carry themselves in the world uh with miel miel brado oh hi at

miel yeah at meal monster on instagram that's right. At Miel Cougar Mellon. On the gram. On the gram. Miel Cougar Mellon Bredo. Sean P. Jordan was taken. Yeah. And I heard someone say, you don't put comedy or numbers. Brian Cook. It was Brian Cook.

Brian Cook. It was my dude Brian Cook. That's right. Notorious villain, Brian Cook. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enemy. Enemy of the. I'm just trying to say words I've heard.

Enemy of the pod. Enemy of the podcast. Enema of the state. Sioux Falls. Fantastic Blink-182 album. Should one of us say something shitty about Shane Torres? Yeah. You have to do it.

Don't take his ponytail, but do take his ponytail, but don't take his ponytail. This is just a greatest hits episode. This is a cover episode of the podcast. I just want to say it's so dank that we're all here together. Fucking Liddy, dude. Fucking Liddy. So're all here together fucking Liddy dude so fuck he never says Liddy shit I feel like he does

the hand thing he does the hand thing though like he's packing a Copenhagen let's get fucking butt dude I got hat sauce hat sauce I used to try

and do that hand thing do you remember that beef jerky that came yes yeah and so I would try and do it

and be like yeah I'm cool I chew the meat what beef jerky you don't remember this I don't know what beef jerky this is I don't know what Yeah, and so I would try and do it and be like, yeah, I'm cool I don't know what this is. I don't know what hand motion It's hard to describe it's it's like that you're trying to make your finger snap without actually snap you keep your index finger Loose and snap it against the middle finger And it's how people pack like Copenhagen or Skoll, like the tobacco. Okay.

I didn't know that's what it was. They used to make this fucking beef jerky. Yeah. That was like snuff beef jerky. I do remember this. Wait, it was designed to look like jerky tobacco? It was like shredded, right? Yeah, it was shredded.

And yeah, you were supposed to like put it in your mouth like it was dip. How is that legal? Because it wasn't tobacco. But it was like clearly making it look cool. They had gum that did the same thing. It did, yeah. Bubble gumps? Big chew?

Bubble gumps? Bigly chew. I think you're thinking of bubble gump? Bubble gump shrimps. Bubble gumps, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just put a pack of coconut shrimp just right between the lips and the gum. It's a taste that'll take your legs off.

Yeah, they're a shot of cocktail sauce. Shot of the cocktail sauce. Yeah. Which also takes your legs off. Yeah. God, yeah, that stuff was gnarly. I definitely had it a couple times, though. I definitely ate way too much.

Like, I think back on the way I ate in high school, and I was like, oh, man, yeah, that's why I'm so into fitness. I got to turn the clock back. I used to eat those Carl's Jr. breakfast burgers like every day. What is that? It's a literal burger patty. Eggs, hash brown, ketchup, and bacon.

Holy shit. That's how I would start my day. I'd stop at Carl's Jr., smash that thing. You shit your ass by the time you get to school? Oh man, now I have good guts. You're eating like

The Rock at like age 12. And you weren't stacked then either. I'm so confused. It's the kind of food you should only eat if you're gonna go

work the land for 12 hours. Yeah. And you're like, I need 8,000 calories, I'm sorry. Or if you gotta double up on a Ballers Jumanji

shoot on the same day. Those are the only two scenarios. You're pulling a double. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight from ballers right into Jumanji. Got to get a Carl's. When I watch sports, I get so like, and you see all these like, you know, 20 year olds,

21 year olds at like the peak, you know, you're like, wow, look what these people are able to get their bodies to do. And you think back and it's like, I use that to just eat Jack in the Box and be okay. The prime of my life, what I used it was to like go to sushi buffets and somehow come out on top of the house. Like beat the house at a sushi buffet. That was your peak fitness. You used it for the sushi house. My body, that's what it was.

It was like, what is it? $30? Yeah, I'm going to have $45 worth of sushi. What else are you going to do? I was happy. And you beat them at their game. So it's like you're a financial wizard. Right, exactly.

I'm the Warren Buffet. I want to see that character so bad. What is he, a bib on, but he's also wearing a suit? Yeah. He would still live in Omaha, though. His face is all over the walls of every Joe's Crab Shack. Do not admit. He suddenly has a Creole accent.

Sorry. Oh, please never apologize for imagining Warren Buffet. This is the podcast that imagines Warren Buffet. That's how you should have started it. That's what it was. That's what the podcast is. We finally got it. Miel, what are you up to what can what can people where can they check you out shit dude honestly we spent so much time on punch up the jam i'm just gonna shout that

out listen to punch up the jam listen to punch up the jam demi's on it too i'm on it can you believe the crossover we deserve oh yeah this is this is an AFV Punch Up the Jam crossover episode. Hell yeah. We did one for you guys on, with Sean and you for the Escape Pina Colada song. Yes.

It's our most popular episode. Is it really? Yeah, people love you guys. It was great. People love you guys and we just brought, we just brought our legion

of bog dwelling fans along for the ride. To listen to us talk about Trumbo. Yeah. Trumbo. We did talk, didn't we talk about Trumbo. Yeah. Trumbo. We didn't talk about Trumbo. So much.

Yeah. I still really don't understand what Trumbo's about. How could you not? Other than you guys say Trumbo a lot. He's riding. He's a communist. They don't like it. No.

It kind of feels like that punch of the jam version of Billions where you just say it over and over again. Yeah, Billions. Is that a new one? Billions, bro. That's Billions in the voice of Damien Lewis from Billions. Billions. Bobby Axelrod.

Bobby Axe. Oh, I thought it was Marlon Brando in The Godfather. Billions. Billions. Yeah, Demi's is a little bit better. Billions. You come to me

on the day that I'm scheduled to make Billions. And you ask me for a mere Millions. Billions, Billions, Billions, Billions, Billions, Billions. Never ask me about my Billions, Kay. billions, billions, billions, billions. Never ask me about my billions, Kay. It's like Sean's still here.

What is the name of Paul Giamatti's character in Billions? Paul Giamatti. He's Paul Giamatti. I wasn't big fat liar. Now I'm here. Sideways, sideways. Oh, my favorite quote from the movie Sideways. Sideways. His name in the show, I've watched every episode and many of them twice.

I don't know. Is it actually good? It's billions versus billions. Our friend Ben Kahn loves that show. Ben Kahn's a kooky dude. I wouldn't trust his opinions. Is he a kooky dude? He's a kooky dude.

He, to this day, swears that he stained his entire butt crack brown from wiping the wrong way for his childhood. No way. And I'm like, dude, poop is not henna. It doesn't stain your ass. No way. And he uses this as a means of spreading the good word about how to wipe your asshole properly. How was he, and not to dwell on this too much, how was he wiping his ass before? I think he was like

wadding and like scraping it out. I think he was really like maybe raps to the finger. I'm listening to this and be like that's not the method. No, no, no. You fold. You fold and you wipe. He was like an eight year old trying to get something out of the carpet

but he's just rubbing it in deeper. And he's saying his butt cracked brown, of course. And that's why everyone makes fun of him when he moons people. Does he have a brown butt crack? No, I've seen his butt crack. It's fine. It's like a weird neurosis. It's not true.

I have not seen his butt crack. Oh, you're missing out. It's a good one. Every time he talks about it, he's like- You met with him. You never saw his butt crack? Yeah, no, because I explicitly was like, hey, I know where this story is going. I don't want to see it.

I don't think I've seen Sean or Zach's butt crack lately. Oh, come on. Is it a rite of passage? I've seen Demi's whole body naked. No, you have not. Oh, the river? Surely have. Oh, yeah.

I was like, now, wait a minute. A girl doesn't forget. You guys go skinny dipping? A girl doesn't forget. Absolutely. Absolutely, we did. Sorry, this is turning into our podcast now. I'm so sorry.

Is that our podcast where we talk about seeing each other naked? Nudity time. Yep. Listen to Punch Up the Jam. Yeah, if you want to hear us give in-depth descriptions of our naked selves. What have been some episodes that have come out recently? When does this come out? Come listen.

This comes out this Thursday. Oh, then today we launched our Baby Got Back episode. Oh, shit. Which is very fun. With Andrew T. from Yo! Is This Racist? I love Andrew T. He's great. Friend of the podcast.

It's a really good episode if you don't mind me really creating a, I think probably offensive to all religions punchline. Oh. To all religions, that's it. Yeah.

Globally acceptable in that it's unacceptable. to all religions that's it globally acceptable in that it's unacceptable everyone on those believe bumper stickers is going to be upset with you every weird little

thing that they spell believe is that what it is yep right is that what the bumper sticker is it coexists

it coexists that's what it is it's not believe I don't know you're thinking of the sheriff I was rocking with it I was picturing it

in my head it's like yeah I'm very susceptible because I was doing the same. I was rocking with it, though. I was picturing it in my head. It felt right. You're like, yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. I'm very susceptible because I was doing the same thing. I was like, yeah. I totally know what you mean. We'll follow you to the ends of the earth, man. Coexist.

Anything you say. I've had a long weekend, folks, all right? A long weekend. I ate Lebanese food way too close to bed last night. Oh, no. You've got to put a time limit on that. I do. I do.

What is that, acid reflux all night? Are you trying to sleep? No, the acid reflux was fine, but just like weird dream. Spicy. It's like your brain turning into a gremlin. Yeah, it was. Yeah, I fed my brain after midnight. Hummus nightmares.

Hummus nightmares. Of course. That sounds like an Action Bronson album. Hummus nightmares. Yeah, listen to Punch Up at the Gym. Anything else people can check you out on? No. No. Not Noy. Not Eva. yeah listen to Punch Up The Jam anything else people can check you out on no not even

not only is Miel here first time on the All Fantasy Everything podcast definitely not the last time we have Ify Wadaway we don't know if this show is going to get cancelled it could get cancelled actually this is the one who's like, oh, if he's dumb pics.

Don't fuck this up! Wait, just... Mia's... Not Mia. Marissa's constantly planning on just... It's like, you guys better get those fucking numbers up. She seems nice. Everybody thinks she's nice, but she is...

She's a shark. She's a shark. She's gonna hear Mia's punch. I'm gonna go like, this entire network is done. Everything's done. We're clearing house, and then it's become CMT. Get Brad Paisley in here right now.

Okay, have y'all seen the billboards for that tailgate fest? No. That's being, it's being held by Toby Keith and it's all these

country artists and Nelly. So I'm like, does he have Nelly there just for the all in my head song? Yes. Yes.

He's just gonna show up for one song because the Nelly. So I'm like, does he have Nelly there just for the all in my head song? Yes. He's just going to show up for one song because the Nelly stage is going to be mad dry at a country tailgate festival. You think? Everyone likes country grammar though, right? I bet the festival organizers just googled country and they saw country grammar

and they were like, alright, get them in here. I think white people get fucked up to hot in her. Oh, yeah. That might be a good crossover. It's any of the people who have crossed over in the country.

So it's Nelly, it's LL Cool J. Uh-huh. I feel like there's more And that's the end of the list. Yeah, that's it. Did LL do the Accidental Racist song?

Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. Yes. Which also came up on Punch Up the Jam, coincidentally. It's always in the back of our minds.

How can we forget? I'm trying. Please, if anyone can figure out how we can forget. I have a pen that says never forget, but then it specifies Accidental Racist.

Do we consider Kid Rock having gone from rap to country or was he just country the whole time and then the rap was this? He was country the whole time with an electric guitar. Yeah. I don't think he ever rapped. country the whole time with an electric guitar. Yeah.

I don't think he ever rapped. He did. Oh, he rapped. Yeah, he rapped. Ba with da ba was rapping. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's scat rap.

Yeah. Ba with da ba, da dang, da dang, diggy, diggy, diggy, said the boogie, said the boogie. Hey, you gotta stop or I'm gonna start getting too fucked up in here. I'm sorry. If you just spaced that out under Amigo's track, those are ad libs.

Ba with da ba, diggy, diggy, diggy, diggy, diggy, diggy, diggy, boogie,'s track, those are ad-libs. Please make that. Please make that. Mama. K-Rap. Just Amigo's coming in every few minutes and be like, Joe Dirt. I didn't realize how badly I wanted Amigo's cover album until right now. I would buy the shit out of that.

Oh, absolutely. Holy moly, we need it. Let's manifest it. All right. Imagine. Now I'm just like, what's the song that it would be so hard to add them over because it's already too I'm thinking like under pressure like people on the streets

so many words already people streets pressure no no no at I it's just for the people for the people

who want to follow you on Twitter it's at I-F-Y-N-W-A-D-I-W-E. Man, you have N-W-A in your name. That's been a huge journey my whole life. That's why you earned that Jack in the Box breakfast. You're like, I have too much clout.

See, before Compton was cool, before Straight Outta Compton, when it was that place that I hit that I was from. When it was a Dutch neighborhood. I would, when I'm spelling out my name, I would get past those letters so quick. out of Compton. When it was that place that I hit that I was from. When it was a Dutch neighborhood. When I'm spelling out my name, I would get past those letters so quick. I'd be like N-W-A-D, N-W-A-D. And now, like, I just stare at white people.

N-W-A. Did you get that? D-I-W-A-D. If they ever ask you to spell it, you're like, that's N as in niggas W as in with A as in attitude oh man

my next call to Spectrum is gonna be tight I would like to update the spelling on my bill it is all the same but I would like to make sure you know so let me spell it out for you oh that would be a hilarious sketch It is all the same, but I would like to make sure you know.

So let me spell it out for you. That would be a hilarious sketch. You should film that. Please do that at least once. Just to see what happens. Like a white fighter pilot talking to a black air traffic controller. Oh, Top Gun 2 sounds great. Please, come on. I do want to see it.

I will see Top Gun 2. Oh, yeah. I haven't seen Top Gun 1, but I will see Top Gun 1. You haven't seen Top Gun 1? I haven't. Oh, man, that's okay. That's a volleyball scene. I'll watch it one day.

I like that kind of hot in a way that makes you kind of angry guy that's playing the main guy. What's his name? Tom Cruise? No, no, in the reboot. Oh, Glenn Powell? That's the one. He looks too much like a person that was made in like a silicone form for a man. His face

though, it just reminds me of that kid in school that was always like, I'm the guest so I get to go first. And then at their house they're like, it's my house so I get to go first. That's him, right? Yes. Oh, was he in Set It Up? Yeah. That guy.

Yeah. He's charming in a way that makes you angry. I can't explain it. I don't think he's charming. I thought he was weird in that movie, too. I was like, this guy? Yeah. I wanted one of the two of them, like Zoey Deutsch or Glenn Powell, to be.

I actually like Zoey Deutsch a lot, so I just wanted Glenn Powell to be. I actually like Zoe Deutsch a lot. So I just wanted Glenn Powell to be a different person. Who did you want him to be? I don't know. Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix. Big beard Russell Crowe. Or Noah Russell Crowe.

Yo, can we talk about Noah? Yes. I was not ready for that. So I went in. So I grew up in a Catholic school. So I'm well, you know. Well versed. I read the books.

I came in thinking I knew everything I needed to know. So obviously I smoked weed before I went to bed. Right, right. And when the golem showed up, I was so convinced that I was too high. I was like, oh, no, I know this story. I'm imagining this. I don't remember golems. It was wild.

It was a real wild decision that they made. Yes. Yeah. They're like, oh my God. That was my bar mitzvah portion, Noah. And I don't remember talking about giant rock monsters in it. It was all in Hebrew. I didn't understand any of it.

But I feel like I would have noticed rock monsters. And it just happens. Like there's no setup. They just come. Oh, here's the rock monsters. Yeah. It's like, y'all know the rock monsters. I do want to hear the DVD commentarians like, so we were following the Bible and this is

the... You should have punched it up a little. This is the one... Yeah, this... I feel like the studio was like, it's not exciting enough. They're in some rock monsters. What if we took that rock thing from... We brought in Steven Zalian.

I want to say Neverending Story. Yeah. And we put that in Noah. And then we digitally replaced uh jesus with emma watson and that's where the story is is that actually what happens i haven't seen no i have not seen it i just know that she was in it i have noah seen noah thanks i'm gonna go yeah i'm gonna walk home that'd be best leave my car here that's just like a little riff for you is i have noah seen noah no i've seen noah it was like you were an italian chef for one word yeah I'm going to walk home. That'd be best. Leave my car here. That's just like a little riff for you. I have Noah seen Noah.

Noah seen Noah. It was like you were an Italian chef for one word. Yeah. I have a Noah seen Noah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. It's a Noah for me on Noah. Haven't seen it.

Oh, now it's an American Idol thing too. Ify, did you like Noah? Outside of the surprises? I mean, that's what kept me locked in. Because I was like, oh, this is, why did I get high for a Bible movie? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. You're like, I hope it's as chill as The Passion. Or Pie.

But when the golem showed up, I'm like, I'm in, baby. Let's go. This was a decision I made. Did you ever see Mother? Oh, yeah. Not to spoil all the movies we want to live in. Right. Usually when we say movies up top, you know, on a movie draft, I'm like, no, but like all

these are very safe to just throw out there. As Zach Toscani is not drafting, we can say all these psycho movies. Oh, man. Yeah, no, Mother was a fun ride, too. That movie was crazy. I wish I had gotten high and seen it. I would have had a panic attack the entire time. There's some spooky.

I'm not good with scary movies. I just full pass. Yeah, I had a bad scary movie experience. I went to see, what was that? God, I always forget it. You know movies, so you might know. But it was that one horror movie where it was the Tooth Fairy because she burned in the village uh because the people thought children no no this was a scary movie they thought this old lady was kidnapping children so they burned her and so she haunted the town and she was known as

the tooth fairy it sounds like darkness falls yes so i went to see that off the top of my head. I didn't Google it. I went to see that at the Magic Johnson Theater. Is it in Harlem? No, but basically LA's Harlem. Chain of them. Yeah. It was in Crenshaw

and it was a scary moment. It was packed and I was trying to keep it low key so I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes a little bit

and just in complete silent moment in the movie someone goes this nigga scared and everyone looks at me and they're like oh he's scared and he was yelling about you he was yelling about me in the darkness he was searching for people who were scared of the movie to ridicule in this packed theater. He basically was like, I'm scared. I got to pin this on someone else. And then he saw you about to take a nap. And he's like, all right, here we go.

And then everyone was like, oh, escape code. Great. Oh, man. So that's my new tactic is I take my glasses off so I can't see the screen. Smart. Oh, I thought you were going to say, you now pay it forward every time you go to a movie. Yeah, I just yell, this nigga's scared. I'm like, hey, you want to go see Hereditary?

I'm like, I'm taking my eyes off you. You're not going to get me. Just pounding Red Bull the whole time. Yeah, that stuck with me. And I was like, all right, I'll do spooky movies. So you get, wait, it's not that you're afraid of them. It's that you got roasted into shame. It's a little bit of both.

You know, yeah. That's the real thing to be afraid of. I don't go see scary movies either because I went to go see one when they got all like gross outy. I saw someone was like shaving. I don't remember what movie, but they were shaving their legs. Cabin Fever. Cabin Fever. Cabin Fever. And like the skin just came right out and I was like

I can't. Oh man, yeah. I can't be a part of this gross stuff in scary movies doesn't get me often yeah but something about that I'm like why what is this for

yeah it's gore porn I used to yeah I used to be deep into the saws I went like the saws yeah there's

that sounds like a saying I'm lost in the saws seven saws now there are yeah and I I went down this saw lore. And I was going through the Wikipedia. I was like, how far did I go before I jumped off?

And it's, I only haven't seen Jigsaw. I went to Saw 3D. That's how deep I was in it. I jumped ship after the second one, seeing it in theaters. But then I was like, well, I still want to see people die. So I started looking up the YouTube compilations, like, all the traps. And I just watched that. And I was like, I don't care about the story i'm just like show me the fucked up thing that they were like we're gonna spend 10 months building this

this machine that twists the lady's neck all around yeah all right that's bad next one saw again we're saying movies that we're probably gonna to take. Well, there are eight of them now, so we'll all get two. Right, we each get one. We each get two. Anthony, what do you got? What can people fuck with you? Yeah, yeah. If you're in the LA area, every second Friday, my improv group, White Women, we have a Your Token Friend show. We're going to be in D.C. for the D.C. Improv Fest at the end of September.

Let me pop this Cali open real quicky. Thank you for calling it D.C., by the D.C. Improv Fest at the end of September. Let me pop this Cali open real quicky. Thank you for calling it D.C. by the way and not Washington because that makes me so mad. Short hint for calendar for the listeners. Yeah, yeah. Short hint for calendar. Yeah, it'll be the weekend of the 28th. So I'll be there from the 28th till October 1st. September 28th.

September 28th to October 1st. Yeah, so we'll be doing some improv. I'm probably going to try and get into some DC stand-up and see if I can get into the White House. I think I can convince that whole cabinet that I'm Kanye West. For sure. It's me, y'all.

Y'all don't remember me? Oh, sorry, sir. I'm back, fam. Just wear, like, a big shirt that's a little too billowy, and then be like, yeah, maybe. Like, I think so. Kris Kardashian was on The Late Late Show last week, and I guess she's, I don't know if she's engaged or she's, like, in a serious relationship with this guy

who was wearing like full Kanye gear. Did you see him? Oh I didn't see him. Oh he was wearing he had like the Yeezys on and he had like the big orange like Wyoming shirt. Oh man. So he was like fully Kanye'd out and when I saw him from a distance walking by I was like oh shit Kanye's

here. Oh no. And then of course Kanye's not here because why would just Kanye and Kris Kardashian show up to the show together? That's very true. Kim was there. I heard Kim was there. Yeah. For one fleeting moment.

She's a tiny lady. You saw her? Yeah. Oh, she's actually small. Well, I just mean in terms of like, I don't, I feel like- She's shorter than me. She's very short. She's very slender.

Yeah. Yeah. I was just, I guess- I'm slenderer, so. Right. You're the slender woman. Right. Yeah. Thank you. I just wanted to shout that out since this is not a visual format. Yeah. Yeah. I was just, I guess. I'm slenderer, so. Right, you're the slender woman. Right. Thank you. I just wanted to shout that out since this is not a visual format.

Right. Picture a stick. And that's like a fat meow. Yeah. I just spit water all over myself. Thank you. I got so excited for one second. Oh, man.

I wanted to be more mad at him for longer than I was capable of doing. Oh, man, yeah. Like, I was mad up until Daytona. Yeah, me too. I was like, oh, man. Yeah, you know, we all do have to open our minds. Yeah, I had some crazy opinions before, too. I was worried, because Daytona was so good, I was worried that his own album, I was like, oh, it's going to be so good.

I can't take it. And I listened to it once and I was like, I don't actually care that much about this. And I was like, I think I might just let Kanye be himself for a while and not think about him. It's the one who talked himself out. Yeah. That's how it was. Then Kid C. Ghost came. And if you are a Cudi Ye fan, those hums.

I was like, this is what your album should have been kanye is what kids see goes it really should have been yeah yeah you know talking about the black struggle and everything was like who is this man right who went and recorded this like these verses yeah like it's it's honestly insane probably like one weekend earlier than yeah yeah oh man and they sampled louis prima on one of the songs oh man crazy listen i know like one weekend earlier than he did his own album. Yeah. Oh, man. And they sampled Louis Prima on one of the songs.

Oh, man. Crazy. A lot of big rappers listen to the show. It's their favorite podcast. Shout out to Mace. Shout out to Mace. I will say,

shout out to Uncle Luke. You are like an inspiration because I'll see like trailblazers talking to you and it's like, I need that shit with, sorry for clapping. No. I want that for the Lakers so to you. I was like, I need that shit with, sorry for clapping.

No, I want that for the Lakers so bad, but I was talking about it. How like the list for me to ever get first pitch in the Dodger game is so fucking long. Like being from LA, it's like ice cube hasn't even got to throw it yet. So I'm behind ice cube.

You know, you have to pick a small market team. Yeah. Become a big Phoenix coyote. And I feel like you can make it have to pick a small market team. Yeah. Become a big Phoenix Coyote fan. And I feel like you can make it happen within the month. For sure, dude. That's the good thing about being a Trailblazer fan. It's like John from Portugal the Man, Katie Lang.

Wait, isn't she Canadian? She's from Canada, but she lives in Portland. She's a big Trailblazer fan. Oh, okay, okay. And then Fred Armisen, if they're filming. And then it's me. Yeah. That's like the whole list.

That sounds about right. That's it. And then there's like, Trailblazers are such a small market team that one of their most famous fans is just a guy who's really tan. It really is. It's just like a rich,

really tan guy who sits close to the court and people are like, hey, it's tan guy. Tan guy? The way people like at a Lakers game would be like, hey, it's Tan Guy. Tan Guy? The way people at a Lakers game would be like, hey, it's like,

you know, Jack Nicholson. The Denzel Washington. The Trailblazers' Jack Nicholson is a tan, tan dude in his 50s. Tan Man.

Yeah. Oh, man. Because in Portland, that's an anomaly. Tan Man, yeah. He's so tan, everyone's like, that guy's very tan.

Yeah. How'd he do it? There's that, and then there's a middle-aged black woman who, anytime they play music, she jumps into the aisle and fucking goes for it. She just dances hard.

On the stairs, too? On the stairs. So when they're playing the music, they already know that that's their joke to get out of. Not joke, but like- Cut to camera B. The thing everyone wants to see. To go to commercial on. So they're showing people.

They're showing a bunch of white kids doing the backpack kid dance, you know, and like, uh, and like, people, I have no idea. I tried to do it once and I earnestly probably injured my knee. I finally figured it out and I feel very accomplished. Yeah. Yeah. It's well, I'll show you. Okay. But they just cut to all these different people and then then they cut to her, and she's just fucking

tearing it up, and the whole place goes crazy. Oh, man. You know, probably louder than they do for most good basketball things. Yeah. We got to get into the Trailblazers. Yeah. We should give her a show. We should give her a show.

Is she getting paid by the stadium at this point? She's probably paying for her own tickets, too. Nah, that's fucked up. Mm-hmm. We got to make her the mascot of Trailblazers. What's their mascot now? A trailblazer? It's a trail cat, which is like a cat that looks like a wolf. I have a whole Twitter thread about it.

So it's a cat dog? It's a cat dog. Okay. But not cat dog. It should be like a swashbuckler, but for the land. It should be a man setting a piece of land on fire. Yeah. He set the street on fire.

And like grass? I don't know how to show that with a mascot it's just a man who runs like a he's got like a giant suit of a normal person who looks angry yeah and a torch in his hand and everyone as he's running down the steps is trying to stop him from blazing that trail but they can't he's unstoppable or you guys could just make him elon Elon Musk because that's a real trailblazer. He's blazing the trail. If NASA would get out of his way and let us go to the moon in 2020. If they would just use his Tide Pod submarine, then he wouldn't have to call everyone pedophile. Shut down NASA and nationalize Elon Musk's Tesla factory.

Guys, I'm just saying, Elon Musk is Batman and the government is the Joker. That is someone's probably honest take if we searched hard enough. I mean, the government is pretty twisted. Okay, this is the Jared Leto version. Yeah. Okay, sure. We'll be right back with an in-depth critique of how video game boobs have gotten smaller. On all fantasy everything.

And we're back now. So all I'm saying is, Laura Croft used to have big old boobies. They were four squares. She needed them because she's in a lot of aquatic situations where she would drown without her gigantic cartoon boobs. This new lower craft can't float for shit. No, she's going to drown, and then what, the game is one level where she drowns? No, thank you.

These guys are both from Jersey? Yeah. All the men can't be white anymore. I don't know what characters these are. I don't know, but they're real. They're in my Twitter mentions all the time. They say black people aren't in video games. Have you played NBA 2K?

Street Fighter 2. That was as diverse as I ever wanted it to get. If I won diversity, I'll turn the color settings all wacky, okay? I hate that this is probably a real person. I hope they talk just like you. I feel like if Street Fighter 2 came out now, they'd be angry that there was a green person in it. Yeah. Who is this?

What are we doing now, huh? Demi? Hello. Adidja Ubay is also on the show i am yeah at electro lemon uh is that also on instagram yeah yeah i like your limit on twitter on instagram across platform uh unity how are you doing i'm doing great yeah yeah doing good and also I'm doing well all three the trifecta yep that's fucking

bucked bro thank you so much oh nice playboy I keep going like there we go David's not hearing I keep going like

oh she's Sean I feel like I have to embody David but I'm like how do I do it you just did that laugh I was gonna doesn't it sound like the beginning of feel good ink yeah it sounds like Elmo I do it? You just did that laugh. Doesn't it sound like the beginning of Feel Good Inc.?

It sounds like Elmo. I love it, though. That little Elmo in there. A few people have hit us up on Instagram and Twitter to tell us the same thing about the Feel Good Inc. Okay, right? Such as me. I'm gonna find a clip where he's laughing for a long time and just edit it into Feel Good Inc. Feel good.

And then the whole song is just John saying buck, dude. Playboy. Dank, bro. I wish people at home could see how much Miel is committing to saying buck and every time she's doing a hand motion almost as if I'm being

patronized by a white patron who's like you want me to put on 50 cent for you? Thanks for coming to the brother. And this next one's for you. You love Drake, right? Bro, it feels like he's doing one, like the thing you were doing earlier where you're trying to snap,

but he does it once and gives up. It's like, yo, that's butt, ah, can't do it. I don't have it today. If I'm really being Sean though, I also have to be like a thousand percent nicer than I usually am, so I'll work on it today. If I'm really being Sean, I also have to be like a thousand percent nicer than I usually am. So I'll work on it. I promise. Yeah.

Try to find the middle ground between the two. We don't want to get you too nice. It'll throw people off. True. I got to be true to myself. Just throw Kosh to the wind. Throw Kosh into the wind.

Throw her right into the wind. Yeah. Throwing it. I had to stop driving when I got to that part because I was going to kill myself. I was ready to just breeze right past it, too. It was David that was like, wait, go back. What did you just say?

I love when David calls him out on things. I laughed at that, and then I laughed at the claws thing. Also him being like, she's not in claws. Who did he think it was? Taraji P. Henson? Yeah. Oh, boy. It was going so well for him up until that point. of him being like, uh, she's not in class. Who did he think it was Taraji P. Henson? Yeah. Oh boy.

It was going so well for him up until that point. His Irish face is so red right now. Listen to this. Shane somewhere is loving it though. Oh yeah. How do you like it?

Fucking pricks. That is what he sounds like though. I know. It's such a good impression. He hates it. He thinks it's a terrible impression. He doesn't know. I can sounds like, though. I know. It's such a good impression. He hates it. He thinks it's a terrible impression. He doesn't know. I can't place his voice.

I met him once at the head gum party, and I talked to him for like 10 minutes, and the first thing he really said to me was, wow, you are mean. I'm like, true. You're not wrong. Go buy his album. We love you, Shane. Now I'll be, true. You're not wrong. Go buy his album. We love you, Shane. Now I'll be Sean Jordan. So what can people punch up the jam?

Punch up the jam. That's my big thing. If you don't know what it is, first of all, how? How? We're so famous. No, Miel and I do a podcast where every week we take a song and we dissect every part of it or as much as we can. And then we try to do a punch up of it.

We've had you on. We've had Ify on. Yeah. So it's great. Listen, those are two episodes you can listen to if you want to hear a little bit of what that is. Demi turned Welcome to the Jungle into a musical number about getting pubic hair. Yeah. So if that gives you any context.

If that doesn't make you want to listen, I don't know what we can do for you. If you got kids and you're trying to teach them about pubic hair and you don't want to do the hard work, it's four minutes long. You can go find it online. Play this little ditty for them

on the ride to the school while you're dropping them off. Yeah. Tell them P.T. Barnum sent you. P is for puber. Puber T. Barnum. What's the T? Just T. T, puber T. Puber. T, puber. Puber T Barnum. What's the T? Just T. Puber T. Puber. T

Barnum. Puber T. Oh, puber T. I can't tell if you're kidding or not. It has been a long weekend. It has been. For your boy. It's been. It has been. It has been. It really loses its magic when you add the has. It has been. It has been. It has been. We have one note. It loses its magic when you add the has.

It has been. It has been. It has been half a fortnight. Can you please just make this? Man, what word has, oh, sorry, what were you going to say? I was like, this is just a letter home from the war. Like, my dear sweet missus, it has been half a fortnight since I've gazed upon your face. Turned my head to the side and apologized for my anger in your direction.

For the fury which rose up from the depth of the pit of my stomach. Chicken to China, that Chinese chicken. Were you in the room when we were talking about what? Yeah, you were, right? That's a rap too. I didn't know that it was. Isn't it? It is. It's a freestyle rap.? That's a rap. That's a rap, too. I didn't know that it was. Isn't it? It is.

It's a freestyle rap. Oh, I think it's rap. From Barenaked Ladies? The guy emailed us to confirm that he freestyled it. Yeah, the release singer, Barenaked Ladies, emailed us to say how much he loved the episode. Really? He shouted us out in, I want to say, Newsweek magazine in an interview with him. And he was like, just so you know, let me clear up some questions.

That was a freestyle. That was a freestyle? Yeah. Marissa did your canadian ass know this wow i know right that's that's an impressive freestyle if it's a real freestyle well they re-recorded it but he recorded the freestyle one take and was like that's it let's put it on tape put it on glass who just has de la maison so he was trying to sing the X-Files theme. De La Maison, De La Maison, De La Maison. Do, do, do, do, do, do. What, we did like a whole harmony? Yeah.

What? He emailed us to say that. That's fucking crazy. I know, right? You thought you were coming here to learn about movies, and now you're learning about Canadian superstars. Yeah. And they're not Marissa.

Yeah. Other Canadian superstars. Which, And they're not Marissa. Yeah. Other Canadian superstars. Which, if you want more info about, listen to our last week's episode. There you go. It was a great episode. You already did, you listener. Thank you.

That was a fun, Guy Branum. What a treat. I've been reading his book and it is one of my favorite memoirs. But also, yes, him himself, incredible. He's such a fucking, he's such a magical person. He knows so many things.

He's so smart. He's so smart, although we did say, oh yeah, we want to apologize to all of our Canadian listeners for the whole thing, Whistler was like in Ontario. That made me mad. Did you know that it wasn't? Where I live is like in BC, basically. Oh yeah. Yeah, so Whistler

is just like a couple hours. Where you live is NBC? Is that like New British Columbia? Mm-hmm. Yeah, we had to make our own. Yeah. It's really cool. No poutine allowed. All right.

Look, I'm just a Cali boy. I don't go that far north. Did you know there's an NWA in my name? I thought you were saying U2, and I was like, what? Yeah, it's New Wittish Columbia. Northwestern area. Oh, I thought you were going to say Aryan. I was like, please don't. Northwestern Aryan.

Northwestern Aryan. Oh, man. Two different NWAs. In the same room. Northwestern Aryan. There's two of them. Come on. I'm a Jew. I am a very Jewish. I'm like, not me.

Not me. We're missing everything, right? I'm 100%. I'm missing everything. How could I forget? God. Okay, I stand alone. I'm so sorry for my people.

I'm like a Torah with a mustache and Niki Runner boosts. That is how I describe you behind your back. Thank you very much. I have a print cap. Yeah. I have this flown in from Boston. Shout out to Enemy of the Podcast, Mike Malloy. It's terrycloth?

What? Is that a hundreds cap? It's brain dead. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's just a fun breezy little summer cap. No, it's great. It's a good look.

If you want to look like Fidel Castro skateboarded everywhere, it's a fun hat for you. High piece Fidel Castro. High's a good look. If you want to look like Fidel Castro skateboarded everywhere, that's a fun hat for you. High-piece Fidel Castro. High-piece Fidel Castro. I wanted to say, what word has had a bigger come up than Fortnite? Yeah, with the game? A year and a half ago, the only people who ever said that were people who read Shakespeare. Or larpers. Yeah, Civil War reenactors, Dr. Frasier Crane.

And then now, it's like the biggest video game in the world. Yeah. I still don't understand it. Miel, your thoughts. My thoughts. Okay, Fortnite. Fort, love that word, love building them. Night.

Cool, dark time, not so hot. Right. Fort, night, together, where can you go wrong? Wow. Are you right? Yeah. That's literally the concept of the game, too. Is it?

You build forts at night? Oh, let me crack my knuckles. Oh, is that a nerd? Please. We have a nerd with attitude right in the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nerd with attitude.

That's not what it means. Say it, meow. Meow, say it. Say it into the mic. Shout it. Let me get my phone out. Sorry, continue. But yeah, no, so Epic Games, they're the same folks who made Unreal Tournament and Gears of War.

Yeah. They eventually made this game called Fortnite, which was a tower defense type game where you would build a base to protect like your kind of, it's like. Your jewels. Yeah, let's just say your jewels. Your jewels and gems. And so you would just go gather resources, build up your jewels your jewels and gems and and so you would just go gather resources build up your base gather traps and do that for shits and giggles after um pub g came out which is player unknown battlegrounds which is a battle royale game

they're like let's just put a battle royale mode in our game and it fucking blew up because it took battle royale and added the building element to it and it just then you got the guys like ninja playing and so everyone got interested but that guy no uh yeah yeah fuck ninja is he a bad guy he said the n-word off the top of his dome just came right out of him he was rapping a song that does that does not that does not have the n-word in it of divvy being like oh okay okay uh let's just the song he's rapping doesn't have the n-word in it. The kind of view of Divvy being like, oh, oh, okay, okay, let's just... The song he was rapping doesn't have the N-word in it. It didn't?

No. Oh, was it a Will Smith song? He was just like, will it be an episode? And now he says he won't play girls with women because he's married. He won't play girls with women? He won't play with women because he's married. He took the Mike Pence stance.

Wow, okay. He said he won't play games because he doesn't want to put his wife in that position. Yeah, and it's been blowing up because it's very easy to have a nuanced conversation about gender politics with gamers. So that's been going real well on Twitter. I did not know that it was Unreal Tournament. You said Epic Games? Yeah.

I played Unreal Tournament for so long, like through high school. I love that shit. I only played Fortnite once and I didn't understand it. Quake came back too and I've been playing Quake. Quake is back? Yeah, it's free to play too. You shoot nails at people again? It's free to play?

Yeah. I can't do this. I can't get back in the games, man. That's a whole meet. Come get Quaked with me. Come on. Come get Quaked with me. This sounds like a drug ceremony.

Yeah, dude. You heard of Ayahuasca? Let's try some Quake. It's just living like a Qu ceremony. It kind of is. You heard of ayahuasca? Let's try some quake. It's just living like a quaker for three years. We're going out to Joshua Tree, throwing our phones in the dirt. Let's go get quaked. Eating a lot of oats. Oh, man.

I almost downloaded. I had to physically stop myself from downloading Civilization IV the other day because I'm like, I can't lose. I can't lose all this time. I don't know what this game's about. You didn't know Sid Meier's Civilization? What? You played Pirates? No. Age of Empires? No.

Myst? I grew up... Yes, Myst. Yeah, I was like, no, one of them. I don't think that's Sid Meier, though. I'm from an island. I don't know if I've mentioned that. We didn't have these things. Northwest area and island. New British Columbia, of course. New British Columbia. You do, like,

streaming and stuff, right? Yeah, so I stream on Twitch. Why don't you tell people where to find you on there? Yeah, you can find me at Ifdeez, your boy holding it down to play lots of Fortnite, PUBG, Monster Hunter, big Monster Hunter guy. And just, yeah, I'm what they call a variety streamer because there's variety in my streams. I would say variety nerd. Is it because they don't want to call you a diversity streamer? Yeah.

Oh, man. But yeah, there. And if you like, I forgot to shout out my other podcast, Nerdificent. We talk about nerdy stuff on there. See, I'm allowed to call him a nerd. Yeah. I don't know. Why are you looking at me?

Don't appeal to me for this. Just quote with a hard R. A nod. Nod. Nod. Silly from England. But nod. Nod. A nod. Silly from England. But yeah, no, it's fun. If any of y'all want me to hold your hands and bring you into the Twitch world, I'm ready.

I love... Adam Conover's been streaming. He streams like Dark Souls. Really? Yeah. I don't think anyone wants to watch me stream Stardew Valley. Yes, they do. You should be surprised.

I do. It's one of the most popular stream games. That's crazy. It's so relaxing. Yeah, because you get to talk with people. So people are like- Oh, you talk the whole time? Yeah.

Here's what I'll say. We're 46 minutes into a podcast where we haven't talked about the topic. Oh, good call. People love this. I guess you're right. So it's that, but they also get to talk to you. Yeah. All right.

Well, look for me playing Stardew Valley while I'm stoned and Sean checks his phone next to me on Twitch. Is there a way that I can stream myself filling out the New York Times crossword? Actually, yeah, that's called the IRL stream. Ah. The Twitch world is deep, and I'm knee deep in it.

Just because they let me do cool stuff with them. I'm going to host their sneaker show, Fresh Stock. And then so I got to do the NBA Twitch stream with this dude, Jeff Eisenberg. He's great. He's kind of like the host of the NBA 2K League. It's like a league. And you know how in 2k now you play as a single player so like I was watching I was like I wonder if ESPN can like use this during off season

because they're playing at the like it's not like when we're doing one-on-one 2k and we're just doing insane scores it's like a very like slow kind of methodicalical, close to actual basketball playing. So I was like, if you've got nothing else to watch and you really like basketball, I'll see why you can't watch this. I've watched 2K streams before. That's a good point. I feel like Twitch has become the new, when you come home and just put the cable on, it's like, if you want to just see something and you can choose to interact with it or not,

though. That's cool. Oh, yeah. You're going to start getting free shoes. I'm trying to. That's cool. Oh yeah. Um, but yeah, you're going to start getting free shoes. Oh, I'm trying to, that's all I want to do. If you're doing a sneaker stream, people are going to send you,

people who just have like podcasts with like, not a lot of people who follow them get free shoes all the time. Oh man, I need it. So if you're listening, uh, Nike and, uh,

which that's why I love going to PDX. We have a lot of listeners who work at Nike. Oh man. And Adidas. Oh, because of Nazi fucks. No, it was crazy. Cause we man. And Adidas. Oh, because of the Nazi fucks. No, I'm just joking. It was crazy because we went up there.

They're like, make sure you're wearing Nikes when you go to the Nike store. You got to be wearing Adidas when you go to the Adidas store. 100% true. Yeah. I don't know how they feel about me wearing Cole Haan. I think they'll be like, hi. Nike owns Cole Haan. Oh, they do?

Yeah, you're right. Wow. Great. But yeah, I got these this weekend. Those are beautiful. Yeah, they're the Safari Forces. But yeah, I got these this weekend. Those are beautiful. Yeah, they're the Safari Forces. Safari Max. Are those forces?

No, no, those are Max. I messed it up. Now I get to host the Twitch show. It's your show now. I gotta call them up. He just Highlanded him. Can you edit that out? Please, my brand.

I feel like does Ian usually ask you, hey, who are you? Wait, Sean's the name I meant to say. Sean usually asks you. usually ask you, hey, who are you? Wait, Sean's the name I meant to say. Does Sean usually ask you? What about you, Playboy? What about you, Playboy? I'm Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel across platforms.

Ian Carmel on Twitter, Ian Carmel on Instagram, Ian Carmel on Jewish J-Swipe. Which is an even more Jewish J-Swipe. That's how Ben was wiping his ass. You think of J-Wipe? J-Wipe? Sorry, sorry.

Jewish J-Swipe, of course. How does he do it? Traditionally. I listen to all fantasy, everything. Come to Good Looks the first and third Wednesday of every month at UCP Franklin. That show's great, dude. I didn't mean to cut you off, but your last one was a banger. It was a fun show, right? It was a stacked lineup.

It's good. If you're in LA, don't miss that show. It always has a stacked lineup. We try to stack her up. It's always on a Wednesday, which is when I have improv, so I can't come. I'm mad about it. Move your improv. Change your whole life.

All right. I also can't come on Wednesdays. Hmm? Nothing. Was that some sort of blue humor? Meow. Blue humor on this podcast. Yeah, I laughed so hard I spit on myself.

Oh my God. Meow, this is a terrible day you're having. First you say the N-word and Marissa had to cut it out, which is why no one heard it. And then this. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I don't know why you keep having me on. I'm spitting out of control. For moments like this.

Right, right, right. It's good on air. Moments like this. Kelly Clarkson in the studio. For anyone that doesn't see this. Right, right, right. It's good on air. Moments like this. Kelly Clarkson in the studio. For anyone that doesn't see you, that wasn't Kelly Clarkson. That was your boy, Ian Carmel.

You're such a good shot. Yeah, you really are. I study him. Kelly, bring back Ian. Yo, for the people listening, what do I have? Just keep listening to All Fantasy.

Oh, I think High Plains I don't know what the ticket scenario is it may have sold out it may not have sold out check it out I have no idea

I have no info they haven't told me but the tickets for people who aren't pass holders went on sale and I think it's going to be

on Saturday night so it's going to be me David Borey Sean Jordan Shane Torres alcohol alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, marijuana, and the sort of IV situation that David set up for us. That's like the Wu-Tang of this podcast.

Yes. That's every member. Yes. Reunion tour. Taco Bell. Alcohol. Oh, my God. Alcohol.

Alcohol. Oh, my God. Molly. Jeans on. Team strong. Jeans on. Team strong. Nicole.

Nicole. Oh, no. Billions. Nicole. Oh, no. Billions. Billions, succession, entourage, ballers. The entire cast of billions. Yes, they're going to be there. One of the special shout out, Carl Payjack, who works in animation and who introduced his girlfriend, Casey Hermanson, to the show.

Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday, Carl Paycheck. Happy motherfucking birthday, Carl Paycheck. It could be Pajak, but we're calling you Carl Paycheck. Paycheck, get paid. We're calling you Carly Rae Paycheck, dude. Carly Rae Paycheck. Happy birthday, Carly Rae Paycheck.

Oh, you guys live in Glendale, too? Shout out to you. We'll see you at the Americana. Come through. The lighting in the fountain. Comeicana come through cheesecake factory on you all right meet us at the sprinkles atm hell yeah that's crazy for those of you listening who have not been to the americana i every time i say that's so casual i'm like we all know and then i'm like well no people outside of la might not know how there's a fucking cupcake atm i don't trust it I don't want to get excited about it because I got excited about that burrito vending machine that was in West Hollywood.

Oh, I know. Drove there. That shit's just microwave burritos. Oh. And it was so, I was so, oh my God, I was too excited. The cupcake one's a little better. A single tear. Strimmed down his cheek.

And shout out to Jesse Morton of Portland, Oregon, and the owner and proprietor of the Cloak and Dagger Barbershop. Thank you for sending us the gift cards to the barbershop. Jesse. Jesse Morton. Playboy. Playboy. I'm going to come in there and get a reverse mohawk, and that's word on everything. Now, we should get to the podcast.

Probably. Yeah. So it's not a four and a half hour. Every now and then I think, well, listen, Sean and David aren't here, so it'll probably be a short one. Short one, yeah. No. No.

Fool. No. Today we are gathered here in beautiful downtown Los Angeles. Just don't throw away from Skid Row. You could toss a softball and hit it. It's so funny because every time you say something, I'm just like, what is she saying? And then you finish and I'm just like, what is she saying? And then you finish and I'm like,

like Sean says. Just a warm breeze from Skid Row. A whisper. A whisper. In scenic HeadGum Studios basking in the glory of super producer Marissa.

Here we are. We're not here to talk about whatever it was we were just talking about. We are here to draft me too just the whole were just talking about. We are here. I've been on a fugue state. I don't know what's happening. To draft me too, just the whole time.

Red mist. To draft movies we would like to live in. We've done music videos we'd like to live in. This one, even richer territory. IMHO. I want to redeem myself because everyone got really mad at me for that one. Yeah, what did you draft? Robin.

Everyone's mad at me for drafting Call Your Girlfriend. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a warehouse. Yeah, alone forever. Sounds sick to me, bro. Sean drafted Buddy Holly. What? So he just drafted an episode of Happy Days.

Yes, he did. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. This one, though, I'm a little more excited about. Yeah, this one's a little more textured. They got a little more... More than three minutes.

I got some wild fucking picks that I'm going to have to argue about. You're the David, bigger, more than three minute. I got some wild fucking picks that I'm going to have to argue about. You're the David then. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Now, the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock,

paper, scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Oh, here we go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, Mia wins.

What a thrill. So it's up to you to determine the order of the draft. But before you do, one quick note. It is a serpentine draft. All right, now you're talking mumbo jumbo. I don't know what the hell that means. That's a great question, Mia. Serpentine draft. OK, so you know when you're single and you're a real playboy and you're playing the field

and you got your girl, let's call her Jessica. And you're like, I like Jessica. I'm gonna dalliance with this for a minute. And then you're like, wait, but Rachel's pretty cute too. I'm gonna give that a try. But one more time, I'm gonna try Jessica really quick. And I wanna go try Rachel. Okay, cool.

Rachel, hey, you cool with an open thing? Awesome. We go for it. We do it. It's like Lubega playing tennis. And that's exactly what it is. Serpentine drop. Ah, I get it. So basically what it is. Serpentine draft. So basically what it means is if you pick

fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. That's what it is. Now, Miel, you have won the game of rock, paper, scissors. So it is up to you to determine the order of the draft. What will that order be? Okay, only because I'm scared my choices are going to get picked, I want to go first. Fredo first. Then, do I want to go in order? No.

I'm going to make Demi go last Oh Demi's going last Okay So I get two I just like you as an anchor It makes me feel safe I like you as an anchor too

So I want Ify number two Okay And number three Which only comes So there's no This has no correlation To where we're sitting I'm so sorry for this

I just wanted to scorn Demi I don't know why It's not a scorn You all get to pick one and then I get to pick two in a row. I think that's the hardest one. I prefer fourth. Oh, I love fourth.

Really? Yeah, you can just sit back in the cut. Nope. Okay. Okay, sorry. I thought I was like trying to be special

by fucking shit up, but no, I guess I just ruined your life. Everyone's very happy with what you have done. Okay, good. Great job. Then I really am being the Sean.

So with the first pick in the movies you'd like to live in, all fantasy, everything draft, Mia Albreto, you're on the clock. Nightmare Before Christmas. Whoa. Okay. Fuck yes.

I want to go to that forest. I want to spend my entire life going into different tree doors and all the holidays. And I want to spend years of my life living in each one. Just two holidays, really. Uh-uh, because they show the tree circle and there's every holiday has a door. I could go to Easterland.

I could go to Halloweenland. I could go to Thanksgivingland. I could go to St. Patrick's Dayland. But would you be accepted there is the real question. Well, it depends who I am in this world. Am I me? Or like, obviously I'm animated. Am I just an animated me?

Or am I like a dog? That is a question I had. Because in some of these worlds, it's like it only matters if you're a dog. I'm a dog. I'm zero. You're a zero, cool. So I cannot speak unfortunately

but I am cute as hell and I never have to worry about my diet. How many doors are there? The ones at the top of my dome are the ones I mentioned. Do they have a Hanukkah one? Oh, I don't think so.

Eight Hanukkah doors. Eight different Hanukkah worlds. You just open the fourth one and it's kind of like, it's like your mom's friend's house that is having a Hanukkah doors. Eight different Hanukkah worlds. You just open the fourth one and it's kind of like, it's like your mom's friend's house that is having a Hanukkah party and you go over there and you play like dreidel with those plastic dreidels. Yeah, and the latkes have been out for a while. Yeah, they're cold.

Yeah. And they only have applesauce. Yep. Mm-hmm. That's the one. That's where I'm going to spend at least two years. Two years? Yeah.

I love Manischewitz, man. A woman dressed in a lot of deep red frocks comes out and plays like, Hanukkah, Hanukkah, like on an acoustic guitar. Come light the menorah. And she does the long version, so you're sitting there for seven minutes. I've never heard this song in my life. That was great, Nora. That's what I want.

That's what it sounds like. It's a perfect impression. It's that for a long time. It sounds fantastic. Hamukko, Hamukko will all dance the horror. Sounds like a deep cut Feist song. Like I don't know what you're singing. Feist got everything she knows from it.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. This holiday really isn't that great. Oh, whoa, oh, if Christmas didn't exist. Oh, whoa, oh, we wouldn't have to go through with this. I can't believe you know it, dude. That was such a B-side from before she popped off. That's a Montreal deep cut shit. I also want to hang out with all the

characters in the world yeah like especially that lady the like the swamp lady she's fucking hot yeah the one that's like that's the head i found in the lake like she's a fucking i've seen this movie one time yeah with me i made you watch it yeah listen i am one of those people that was obsessed with them mielle's a mid-2000s goth kid. I 100% do not deny it. But you know what? Oh, she was hot. She was hot.

Yeah, I just looked her up. She was hot. I mean, like. Oh, wow, she is. Yeah, right? Yeah, she's hot. Oh, yeah. No, there's fan art of her being like, she's hot.

She's hot. It's like a known thing she's hot. That wolf dude. That's hot. Is he a wolf guy? I mean, if I'm also a dog. Otherwise, dogs aren't hot. Dogs are not hot. I'm not saying that. We don't know the law of

Christmas land. Yeah, I think you could fucking they don't, bestiality is not a thing there. They're just sort of like, you know, one love. Yeah, they're chill. They're chill with their laws. You think a dog is hot seems like an opinion you might have. Not the first time she's had that opinion.

Dogs are fucking hot if you're also a dog. Right, but you're a human and you have to, you're not a dog. So how can you? Werewolves. Where do we stand? It's a man. It's a man. I got to see the werewolf.

Yeah. I can't make a blanket statement. Case by case basis. But if you have sex with a man that also maybe sometimes is a wolf. Yeah. Is that bestiality? No. Well, if you're having sex with a man. Next question. Centaur. If I a wolf? Yeah. Is that bestiality? No. Well, if you're having sex with a man. Next question. Centaur.

If I fuck a centaur, is that bestiality? Depends on the split. If I fuck Mr. Tumnus, is that bestiality? Yes. Okay, cool. I thought that too. That was also my opinion. If it's the kind of minotaur that's in like the center of a maze, can't do that. I do want to be that. Okay.

So I can fuck it. If you are that. Because you identify as a minotaur. This is my segment of the show we call Can I Fuck It? Can I Fuck It? Hit that theme song. Can I fuck it? No, she can't.

No. You just never know. I know you, I've seen dogs and I'm like, that's probably a hot dog. That's a hot dog. Like other dogs probably think that's a hot dog. That's where the term came from. Tippi, you're suspiciously silent on the matter of fucking dogs. Yeah, I'm trying to think of any situation where I'm like, that dog got ass.

American werewolf in London. You've never seen just like a beautiful border collie and you're like, oh my God. Lassie? Lassie's fuckable. Okay. Lassie is like the teen boy in a movie. It's Teenage Simba where you want to fuck Teenage Simba. No.

Teenage. Stop. It's Teenager. Right. Yeah. Yeah. No. I'm a teenager too in this narrative.

Okay. Lassie is like Leo in Critters where it's like you're very young but you are still a hero. And it's like we can tell you're going to be a beautiful person. Yeah. I do not feel sexual to you in any way I just feel like I am worried for your safety there's a chub percolating

what no there isn't no there isn't that's what you're saying let's call it out no it's percolating there's a chub in my heart a heart chub yeah yeah yeah that's not illegal heart chubs are not chump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not illegal. Heart chumps are not illegal.

So don't even write those emails. Anyway, vote for Roy Moore. You're willing to live in a world where Oogie Boogie is existing. No spoilers. Dead now. Okay. So this is a post-Oogie Boogie world. This is a good question we should establish rule up front.

Are we living post, during, pre, maybe all three? I feel like during. During, okay. You gotta live out the duration of the film. And I'm just at the end of the film. Okay. So Boogie's dead. Lock, shock, and barrel, I will take into my home

because they are apparently orphans and need some guidance, clearly. I don't know who they are. No, who's Lock, shock, and barrel? They're the ones that take Santa as a Mr. Oogie Boogie Man. I want to do it. Let's draw straws.

Oh, those little kids. Yeah. The way you said that, like, you guys, they're the ones who... I'm sorry, you host a podcast called Nerdificent. I thought you were a nerd.

I mean, Nightmare Before Christmas, that's... Too deep of a nerd. No, that's Disney nerd. That's like a different... Oh, not a Twitch nerd. Kingdom Hearts is the only overlap.

Yeah, exactly. And there are people who have died and will never get to play it who've played through the first two games. Yeah. I couldn't beat it. I'm not going to beat it. I played the last version of that game when I graduated high school. That's the last time I played it too. Yeah.

In 2006. And they're coming out with the third one next year. Wow. Insane. I also think Jack Skellington's kind of hot. He's like the original bad boy. Oh yeah. Is he the original bad boy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. James Dean, I don't know the meaning of the word. Also, I don't think he has a penis though. Jack Skellington? Yeah. He does, he just doesn't know how to use it. though. Jack Skellington? Yeah. He does. He just doesn't know how to use it. That's where what's this came from.

What's this? What's this? It's like the only flesh appendage on his body. Just all bone and then a fleshy penis. Now you're picturing it. You're welcome. Don't crash your car. Now I want to know if there's rule 34 on Jack Skellington.

It's for sure there is. Someone just did a very nice portrait of Jack Skellington and then added a realistic dick. Yeah, Sally did it. Sally's the artist. She drew him in the movie. Yeah, she's like, all right, I'm trying to see what's down there. He won't let me. I'm going to imagine it.

When he runs down the street, it sounds like wind chimes because there's just a meaty penis bashing into a bunch of bones. That explains the little twinklies when he runs down the street, it sounds like wind chimes because there's just a meaty penis bashing into a bunch of bones. That explains the little twinklies when he runs around. Sally, I'm coming. She's just slapping against his bones. I'm a boner. There you go. Hell.

Also, Christmas is tight. This is the worst Jack Skellington rule 34 Oh no You're looking at porn No that doesn't even look like him Don't call someone else out for looking at porn I think one of the last times we hung out outside of a podcast Was when we went to get sushi and you were just laughing

At Pokemon porn on your phone Let me see this Jack Skellington dick It just looks like a strong man It's not even Jack Skellington dick. It just looks like a strong man. It's not even Jack Skellington. Yeah, they took a few liberties. That's bullshit. I want to see a skeleton dick. That looks more like Thanos. That's a Thanos dick.

Rule 34 is the website where they make everyone into having sex. Rule 34 was a rule created in 4chan that was, if it exists, there is porn of it. It's true. We're a little too comfortably from saying Rule 34 to a rule created in 4chan that was, if it exists, there is porn of it. There's porn of it. It's true.

We all feel a little too comfortably from saying Rule 34 to just be like, we know what that is. Let's see the porn. We grew up on the internet. We look at it. It's wild because Rule 34 used to be, I felt like, it was its own separate thing from porn. Then Overwatch came out. Oh, boy. And the overlap has been insane. You're just going through your normal Pornhub wormhole and just fully 3D rendered Overwatch porn.

Oh, yeah. You'll see that pop up and you're like, oh, my God, the amount of time someone put into that. It's kind of impressive. It's art. It's still art. No, it's more art than anything I've ever made. I've not put that much time into anything. Yeah, Christmas is tight.

And so is Halloween. I like holidays. That's my dream. It would be a fun world to live in. Yeah, right? Absolutely. And hey, isn't that what we're here for? Excellent first pick, Miel.

If it is time for your first pick, your first pick on AFE ever. I don't want to kick it off with a bang, you know. I wanted to wait a while before I got into the animated universe. But I also wanted to, you while before I got into the animated universe. But I also wanted to enter the realm of possibilities. What about the movie has established something about this world that would make it fun to live in without being too much of a culture shock? Which is why I went with the Fast and Furious universe. Because in their world, if you can figure out how to work a car, you become a superhero.

Absolutely. The Vin Diesel crashed into a center divider to fly across a bridge and catch someone and land on the car with merely a scratch. And that's not even one of the top. That's not an early one. Yeah. That's where they were like, this is pretty realistic. Yeah. That's not them driving a car out of one building. Yeah, driving a Lamborghini on ice.

You know, like. Driving it in another building. Are you in the world, are you assumed to have the same powers? Or are you like the guy who like the rat eats his chest out? Oh, no. I'm definitely one of the powers. The gang. The gangs.

Okay. Which apparently anyone can be. Yeah, yeah. Because some of them are just hackers who can also, right? And then there's also Tyrese who's just like, no way am I going to do that. And he still does everything. No, no, I'm doing it and I told you I wasn't. No!

What's your car? My car, I think I'd probably go with the R34 Skyline. Keep it classic. I don't know what that is, but it sounds tight. That feels like one of the classic Fast and Furious cars. Oh, yeah. It was the one that Paul Walker had

in Too Fast, Too Furious, the silver one. Rest in peace. I've never seen anything like that. I genuinely don't know a damn thing about cars, but as soon as you said that, I was like, nah, I can picture it.

I've definitely seen that in Forza before. Yeah. That kind of car, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's NOS? Does it have NOS? Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah.

We'll put some NOS in it, you know. Definitely. And then, you know definitely and then you know whatever car Ludacris cooks up for me for special meat you know he does the movies yeah he'll cook up

you know Ludacris is just like the Swiss army knife of what do you need done yeah like sometimes he can fight sometimes he's like alright we need to get

into the pentagon let's do it yeah he had this like encyclopedic knowledge of like safes. And he was like, oh, that safe right there,

that's the T-150. It's like a hot lady you want to take on a date. She's pretty, but you got to romance her if you want to open it. I was like, shut up. Whatever he's doing, like an analogy like that, as soon as he's like, and then when you get that bra off and then he unlocks it right then and there.

And it's like, so it wasn't hard at all. If there's one thing I love as a woman, it's being compared to a safe. Makes me feel very good. Just trying to crank into you,

get all your jewels out. My square edges. Kind of like lower crop used to be. I get it. I don't think you need to explain that pick. Oh yeah.

That's a great fucking pick. Yeah. It's a world fucking joke. Yeah. It's a world where runways are very, very, very long. Oh, yeah. Way too long. Yeah, you can't die. I think you're invincible by proxy. Oh, yeah.

If you die, you're going to come back. Yeah. If you have killed someone and their entire group might still be friends with you later. Yeah. There are no rules. That's so true. Yeah. The only beer is Corona. Oh, yeah. And it can only be held. Well, there are other beers. They later. Right. There are no rules. The only beer is Corona.

Oh, yeah. And it can only be held. There are other beers. They're just not. They're trash. We don't drink those. Right. They're only there to sort of highlight how great Corona is.

Yeah. Which is to be held only by the top of the neck. Nobody drinks whiskey. By the way, that was a huge investment. That was a huge investment by Corona. Because the first Fast and Furious was just like a race car movie. And now they're this mascot for this huge blockbuster franchise. I hear something crazy.

When they mentioned Corona in the first movie, it's not product placement. Whoa. So imagine how big a thing that is in the Fast and Furious movies. And now it's like they sort of were just kind of let's just pick a beer that fits the tone of community we're going for. And it worked. Can you imagine if Corona didn't want to start sponsoring it? So they had to make a scene in one of the movies. We don't drink Corona anymore.

Now it's Modelo. Corona is not family. Pass an Amstel light. Bottles and James wine coolers. Look, I will say I'll bust out a B&J's If someone has it at a party I'll crank some of those

In fact If I'm being my most honest self And I open a cooler and there's those And like Coronas I'm gonna drink one of the Bottles and James My favorite beer is that Stiegel Grapefruit Rattler because it tastes like soda. It's so good. It's not beer.

It counts as beer to me. It's a mixed malt, but rich. But they put it on the shelf next to the beer. And it's alcoholic. True. I thought you were going to say Limeritas for sure. No, I do like a Limerita though because I'm a trash man. Well, if you're a trash man, what you want to do is take one of those Stiegel Radlers and then probably one shot of tequila down in the base.

Then pour that in. Just give it one brief but brisk stir. And then now you're on your way to flavor two. I want that. I might go get that after this. It's really good. That sounds very good. If we're talking about trash alcohol, we got to have a moment of silence for Four Loko with the energy.

Oh, my God. What a time. Can you put in some sad piano music here? Sad piano of silence for Four Loko with the energy. Oh, my God. What a time. Could you put in some sad piano music here? Sad piano music for the Four Loko. Four Loko and yet sparks. I don't know if y'all were on the sparks, too. Of course. Look at me.

I'm an unhealthy person. I was making my own sparks out of whatever energy drink they sold at Winco and whatever vodka we stole. Sparks out of whatever energy drink they sold at Winco and whatever vodka we stole. I never drank Four Loko, but I had a friend who drank them so much. And it was while the news was being like, Four Loko's dangerous. So we were always like, hey, maybe cool it on those. And then all of the stores around our college campus stopped selling just one flavor of it. And she was so mad.

It was the peach flavor, I remember. She? Nice. Yeah! Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Representation in the story, yes! See, this is the quality, yeah. Just wait until I tell you what kind of person the doctor was. A woman!

Whoa! Wait, you knew the doctor from Drinking Four Loko? No. No, I'm just... Oh, you were riffing. I can't operate on that boy. It was a joke. It's my son, the doctor's a woman.

But it could have been a man because men have sons. Right? Nice, dude. The doctor was a wolf. Yeah, that literally was a riddle. Yeah, I remember that. The doctor was a sexual...

That was hard to figure out because what? Doctor's a woman? Yeah. I can't operate on this child. The moon is out. Sorry. You're making me horny. Is that what

happens to a werewolf? No, me when a werewolf's mentioned. I was like, that sounded like a howl. Are you turning into a werewolf? I mean, one might say my sexual prowess is that of a werewolf. Just to revisit, because I never answered your question for a quick second. We're going to take a huge jump

I will say in the American werewolf in Paris the Paris the newer one when she is when like she's on top of him and he's having that fantasy and her boobs are out and then she turns to a werewolf and there's a moment the werewolf has boobs

that was like I was like that's still yeah I just realized I'm freaky one percentage of the transformation is the line to a werewolf and there's a moment the werewolf has boobs that was like I was like that's still yeah I'd still go for that I'm freaky one percentage of the transformation is the line where you're like

no which anamorph show us on the anamorph chart on the book cover where you draw the line and also it's the one

where they turn into a fish that's the only when they talk about the spectrum of sexuality what they mean is where on the Animorph chart would you not fuck the- On the Photoshop Animorph book cover.

When it's more dolphin. Goes from fuckable to unfuckable for you. Fuckable to very fuckable. Yes. Yeah. To suddenly, no chance, you cannot fuck that. Don't even consider fucking it. I would love to see a scale of Animorph, the movie where it's like, this is okay, from

Splash to The Shape of Water. You might argue that is the movie The Fly. True. Yeah, wow. So we just figured it out. Anyway, what's up? Shots to Goldblum. How come all the werewolves are very in shape?

If a big fat guy got bit by a werewolf, would he just turn into a big fat wolf? Okay, if he would, that's funny. And make that. Shit, look for David and Bori and I's fat werewolves. Cameos from the disorder, at least. Still hot, though. Still hot.

Werewolves are inherently hot. Oh, yeah, no. That's definitely like American werewolf in Paris was when I was like still hot though still hot werewolves are inherently hot yeah oh yeah no that's definitely like American werewolf in Paris was when I was like oh yeah werewolves are kind of hot I would be a werewolf no we're overdue

for a thick werewolf I'm actually a little mad about it thick werewolf yeah thick werewolf porn I want to see I was talking about this on my other podcast

Candy Dinner but Hollywood was having a thickening you know a lot of a thickening because we had the thick robot in Lando. We had Mrs. Incredible, who's Mrs. Thick Credible.

Okay, that one didn't work. In my head, it worked a lot better. Welcome to the dark side. Free podcast. It's free, folks. But yeah, so I'm down for everything. Get down with the thickness early. I don't want to go Get down with the thickness early. We're a dumb band. You want to go get down with the thickness?

I'm from South Dakota and I sincerely like that band. No, it's a great go. I love that song. Oh yeah. And let the bodies hit the floor. Like it. That's a different band. Huh?

That's a different band. Disturbed? Bodies hit the floor. No, it's not. That's Drowning Pool, right? That's Drowning Pool. My bad. Let's get on with the sickness. That's Disturbed.

Why do I know this? I'm so sorry. Continue. I'm so sorry. I don't want the sickness. Yeah, that one's on my gym playlist, and it's usually super dope until I'm lifting it. It's like, oh, mom, you like that? You like that?

I was like, oh, this is getting me out of my lift vibe right now. I hate how many songs are like that where it's like, it works so well, and someone's like, we have this is getting me out my Lyft vibe right now. I hate how many songs are like that where it's like, it works so well and someone's like, we have to have a talk break. No. No disturb. That's a good draft. You should do that one. Songs that all of a sudden they take a hard turn.

Songs that are 80% great. Songs that you might make your own edit of on Fruity Loops. Fruity Loops, or I guess Apple Music, whatever the garage band, there it is. 2003. The Fast and the Furious, excellent pick. Thank you. It is time for my first pick. God, I am going to make some really silly picks.

I'm going to start off with the silliest one, but the world where I would most like to live is the animated feature feature The Jungle Book. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. I just feel like I kind of have at my

best not all the time but at my best have a Baloo vibe anyway. Yeah. And I feel like I just want to slide into that world and hang out with Baloo.

You want to be a bear? I used to do this. Yeah. I want to be a bear. Yeah. I want to be a big old bear. Yeah.

I think that'd be so relaxing. Who mostly eats honey. I'm not like a predator. He doesn't murder no. Yeah. He literally hangs out a big old bear. Yeah, I think that'd be so relaxing. Who mostly eats honey. I'm not like a predator. He doesn't murder, no. I mean, he literally hangs out with his food. Right. He doesn't eat him.

He's chill. And he's not mean like that snake. No. The snake. Although you would have to watch out for that snake. The snake's fine. You're a bear. I understand the snake.

Does the snake ever fight Baloo? Baloo. Good question. Don't know. No. I only know three of the tigers. Shere Khan. Shere Khan. Shaka Khan.

Shaka Khan, yeah. Yeah. Shaka Khan. The tiger Shaka Khan. Shaka Khan? So what would you spend your days doing in the world? What would we be doing? Yeah.

Nothing. That's the appeal of it. Chilling. I'd be hanging out in rivers. Yeah. Just sort of like shimmying around. If you aged the honey, I bet it would turn into alcoholic. Yeah, absolutely.

Over at King Louie's, they've definitely got something going on. Oh, yeah. Would you be friends with King Louie? Because he ends up being a dick, right?

Yeah, but it's fine. I have friends who are dicks. I hang out with King Louie, so I hang out with Mike Malloy. I thought you just said, would you hang out with King Louie? Because he's got

kind of a big dick. Believe it or not, I said something I'm not about dicks for the first time on this podcast. But now it's back to dicks, sorry. No, you just go over there and it's basically Louis Prima

in a big man situation. People are dancing around. He wants fire. And I guess I'm a person in this scenario. I do my best to get him man's red flower. Because you are kind. I am a kind. You're a generous man.

Yeah, because I got blue vibes. That should be your ginger bio. Blue vibes. Big time blue energy. You're a generous man. Yeah, because I got blue vibes. Yeah. That should be your Tinder bio. Blue vibes. Big time blue energy. Do you think that would work? Yeah, maybe. Because whatever I've got

right now is not. It's been a dry spell for carms. Can I rewrite your Tinder bio? No. Damn it. No.

Yes, actually. Sure, yeah. I think if somebody knew what blue vibes meant, they'd be like, that is attractive. That's desirable. Everyone knows

what blue vibes are. I'm just saying, if I saw just the word blue, I'd be confused for a little bit. And if you. Everyone knows what Baloo vibes are. I'm just saying, if I saw just the word Baloo, I'd be confused for a little bit. And if you don't know what that is, do yourself a favor, watch Jungle Book. You deserve it. But like how many women are going to be swiping

and go like, hmm, I will watch the Jungle Book right now. I would. All right, well, you're taking more effort than I think most people can take on Tinder. Like they would see that on Tinder and immediately go, ooh, super like. Is that a thing? That's what you have to say before you super like anyone, ooh, super like. Is that a thing? That's what you have to say

before you super like anyone. Ooh, super like. Jungle Book, what a good pick. And you'd also be like too de-animated, I'm guessing. You're not saying the new Jungle Book, right?

You're going with the cartoon one? No, this is the animated one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, fully. I would love that. I've not seen the new one. It's all right. It's like, oh my God,

you're really gonna give me your phone. Yeah, go ahead. Oh my God. Tinder couldn like, oh my God, you're really going to give me your phone. Yeah, go ahead. Oh my God. Tinder couldn't be any more useless, so go ahead and have fun in there. Oh my God. Oh my God. Change the pictures if you want. The new one is fine.

It didn't need to be made. I think it made a lot of money, but it was like, the old one was perfectly fine. Yeah. And they had this weird Christopher Walken version of him. I did like that. Yeah, who was he playing? He was playing King Louie. So previously you had Louie Prima, this big band singer,

and then you slide in Christopher Walken doing that same part. You know what I think it was? I think they realized how many people had sexual awakenings to a lot of the older Disney movies, and they're like, we need to get that audience again with the new generation. Gotta make them Idris Elba as the voice of Shere Khan. You gotta have the snake voice by Scarlett Johansson.

They're like, we want these kids to be horny for the animals. More horny kids. That's what I'm saying. Yes. Now you're coming on board. Well, when you said it, it was weird. Oh, right. And I'm talking about Disney.

Because I'm not a kid. Because I'm grown. Yeah, you're grown. I didn't see the podcast having this much bestiality in it, but here we are. That's what I say about every episode of A Punch in the Jam. I don't know if you have a fancy new phone or what, but I can't figure out how to type. Just click on the box, right? No keyboard.

No keyboard? I think I'm a thousand. Oh, I don't want to break it. It's fine. Oh, you do? You got the iPhone X. Yeah. This has just turned into why won't you date me.

This is another podcast. Oh, we have three iPhone Xs in the room? Yeah. X boys. Triple X boys. I'm not rich. It looks like you typed a phone number into the box. It's mine.

If you see this profile, call me out. Check out Meal Monster on Twitter. She'll be like, I know Ian doesn't look that fun to you've seen his profile, call me out. Check out Meal Monster on Twitter. She'll be like, I know Ian doesn't look that fun to date based on his profile, but he's actually a pretty okay guy. That would be so funny if someone's Tinder bio was just a list of numbers that you can call for references. Like, who's this? Oh, you're calling me Ian?

Oh, he's great. Oh my God, he's great. He'll pick up the check. Yeah, the Jungle Book. And now they're, yeah, because they're doing the new Lion King, right? And then they're going to do a new Aladdin, too. I'm scared of it. I trust in it, but I am scared of it.

I think it's going to be great. There's so many talented people involved. That's what I'm saying. I trust, but I am scared. I hate saying this about any corporation, but I feel like Disney generally does a pretty good job. They do. Yeah. They really do.

They usually land the plane. Yeah. They usually land the plane. I hate because they're taking over everything, which is not good. But also, they generally handle it well. Are we going to have to have like a Teddy Roosevelt of the entertainment industry who goes like trust busting eventually? Absolutely.

We will, right? Where they're like, Disney, you have too much stuff. Yeah. Yeah. No more Marvel. For five years. For five years. You have to let somebody else make it.

There will be riots in the street. All of very- Positive riots. Yes. Good riots. Good riots. What I meant is there. There will be riots in the street. All of very- Positive riots. Yes. Good riots. What I meant is there will be picnics in the street. Picnics. I like that word.

That is great. If the liberals really, the Hollywood liberals really want to rig the next election, what they'll do is somehow make no more Marvel movies and find a way to pin it on the Republicans before like 20, when is the next election? 2022? 2020. Yeah.

So that's my riff about politics. Get on it, Bob Iger. Yeah. It's not an episode without it. And that was our politics section. Ba-ba-booey. The Jungle Book. I want to live in there.

It just feels like a jazzy fun time. Ooh. With very low stakes. Oh, it's the best. Where I can just sort of shimmy around with a bear version of me. Oh, my God. You would be living your best self. You'd be so calm.

Oh, man. Yeah. More calm than I am now, which is not calm. You're pretty calm. Don't you stop with your first and second picks. Ooh. Wow. My first pick, I'm very excited that this didn't get drafted.

I really thought this was going to be Miel's first pick. What? No. No. Don't take it. If you, okay, fine. I shouldn't take it? Go, take it.

You know what? I feel like if I don't take it, then I'd be cheated by you. I'm so fucking mad at you. And I don't know when. I'm so fucking mad at you. I'm taking Mamma Mia. You just saw it.

You fucking poser. I saw it hours ago. I thought I was the Sean here, but this is fucking a Sean move, you asshole. He at least saw it. He at least saw it was the Sean here, but this is fucking a Sean move, you asshole. He at least saw it. He at least saw it. Sean has smoked weed one time.

He did. He did. He smoked it the other day. So fuck you, dude. You don't even like Mama Mia. You don't understand Mama Mia. You don't understand Donna. You don't get Casa Bella Donna.

The only thing I need to understand is that if I live in Mama Mia, I'm living on an island in Greece where every so often I get to dance with Maristreet. What a Grispray. There are no black people on that whole island. So good luck. That's why it's exciting for me to come there because they're all just like, this guy is so fun.

It's true. It's going to be so much better for you. They're going to be so stoked. I'm going to get free fish. I'm going to get to sign books on a boat to the island. I'm living it up. I'm so fucking mad at you, dude. I was already like overall, I'm going to have great sun highlights.

Pick your first pick wisely. Yeah, well, I like holidays as much as I like relaxing, okay? Well, why don't you relax on the island of fucking... You don't even like musicals. I feel like none of us were rushing for Nightmare Before Christmas. No, yeah. I thought it would be a bit. Very Sean Moody.

It looks like they've spent that much time on Hot Topic. Not one of us. I'm sorry. I mistook you all for people that love to have fun. That's my mistake. I do love to have fun, which is why I'm on the fucking Greek island. Unnamed Greek island. No, it has a name. I don't know.

Cyprus. Fake fan. No, you fucking asshole. Is it Crete? No. Hey, it doesn't even matter. I don't need to know anything about the island because I live there. Is it Lesbos?

No. I'm wearing overalls. My entire job is maybe coming out of the water to sing on a boat. Yeah. With Christine Baranski. Who knows? Every now and then you repair a beautiful wall. Yeah.

And that's all you have to do. There is a black man in that movie. He comes out of the shit. He fucks Christine Baranski. That's only the first one. Yes. And he goes, well, this is how to tickle your face buds. And it's the weirdest line in the whole movie.

I'm that guy. My entire job is fucking Christine Baranski. Fucking Baranski. That would be so fun. It would be great. A keyboard keeps disappearing. I'm trying to type this beautiful bio. You're doing something wrong. That's the only way. It's you, Miel. I don't know how to use this fancy new iPhone. It's just an iPhone. Fix it.

The keyboard goes away, and it doesn't come back. Miel, I will say your whole aesthetic is Mamma Mia. I know. I am a pleaser. It really just clicked into place. You're dressed like Stellan Skarsgård. That is my lifestyle. It is.

I live on a boat. I make my brother pretend to be me at public speaking events. What? Mamma Mia 2, which you clearly haven't seen, you fucking asshole. I haven't seen it. Don't know it. I'm a purist. I really only like Mamma Mia.

I'm not choosing Mamma Mia Here We Go Again as the movie to live in. Which you could technically pick. Yeah, if you want. Although I do get a second pick. What did you say? You fucking scoundrel. I'm kidding. Although I am going to go with my second pick now, which you are also going to hate.

I swear to God, if you pick one of these, you're going to... Oh my God. I'm so mad I can't talk. I'm so fucking mad. The Stones. Oh, you can have that one. I don't want that fifth element oh oh shit oh yeah that would be so fun to live in the fucking future now i'm living in a good future that is not tainted there's another movie that is very futuristic very similar to this one i'm not gonna say it but every woman in that movie

is like either a robot or a prostitute it's very depressing this one everyone seems happy they got cab drivers that are like uh is this the movie where there's a cab driver who's a skeleton no that's halloween town i'm sorry anyway fifth element so you don't even know the fifth element floating noodle uh boats that will pull up to your window and you can order floating noodles well the noodles aren't floating but the boat is yeah i got chris rock in there who's an There are floating noodle boats that will pull up to your window. That's great. And you can order floating noodles. Well, the noodles aren't floating, but the boat is. Yeah. I got Chris Rock in there, who is an entertainer and having the time of his life.

Oh, did I say Rock? Chris Tucker. You really don't know this movie. You are such a fucking shot. You don't know this movie, man. You got Bruno Mars in the stars role. Silver green. Silver green. I have seen The Fifth Element over 50 times.

You really have. You're the one who reminded me of it recently. Gary Busey as an arm dealer. I love this movie. He plays Zork. You got Lili Sobieski. I would choose it, but the problem is there's no nature in it. That's true.

There's probably a whole planet of nature. There's digital nature. You have to go to another planet. Digital nature. You can go to another planet, though. There's digital nature. Yeah, but you have to go to another planet. Digital nature. You can go to another planet, though.

Yeah, but with seemingly still a very sexist system, even though it's the future, no thanks. It feels like it's really just Bruce Willis. That's the future for men. So you can pick your problematic ass pick. Congrats. Okay, Mrs. I picked a land of holidays. Yeah, and I'm gonna fuck a werewolf.

I get it, okay? Glass house meet glass house. I think you mean glass stones. They're in me. They are in her. And your love. It's also like those opera singers. Oh!

Oh! Yeah. I think it's real low. She's doing that weird arm dance. Like she's doing like semaphore. The cactus is in Super Mario. They're just like flipping their arms up and down. Oh my God.

Air traffic controller arms. So who are you in this world? I'm just, I can be anyone. You're just Demi. I can be Demi. I can be Ruby Rod. You're not the, whatever those guys can be anyone. You're just Demi. I can be Demi. I can be Ruby Rod. You're not the whatever those guys' names are. They're like

I don't know who the fuck those are. I want to say there's a Mon... That's who Gary Oldman sells the guns to. Or who sells the guns, yeah. I don't want to, they might have a racist name. I don't know. Maybe. Mongoloids. That's definitely a racist name. That's not what they are. I think that's what they're called. Can that be? Google it. I wouldn't be surprised.

It was 95. We didn't know. It was wild. Maybe it's something similar to that. It was that's what they're called. Can that be? Google it. I wouldn't be surprised. It was 95. We didn't know. It was wild. It's something similar to that. It was the Wild West. We didn't have to respect anybody. What are they called? It begins with an M, right? I'm looking.

Am I way off track? Malians. Luke Bissau. No, the monster guys. The ones that Zorg hires. Space Puerto Ricans. That's crazy. Why would they...

Even in the future. It doesn't... It's going to take me a minute. So maybe just use this opportunity to shout out a horribly racist word. I'm so sorry for that. I do love the idea that this movie is set in the future, and they're like, you're not going to get statehood anytime soon. It's the one thing that hasn't gotten better. Yeah.

It's a cool, I feel like it's a cool universe. I just feel like it's too strict. It's too strict. Too many, like, class systems and rules and government and... If I'm being honest, I made a list where I didn't refresh myself on any of these places. And I was just kind of like, yeah, that looked cool. And it doesn't seem too unhappy. Well, I think most people aren't doing so good in that universe.

That's the vibe I got from the airport scene. I don't remember an airport scene. Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg is doing just fine, though. He's doing quite well. He's in debt to a higher power who makes him bleed from his forehead, and it's brown. The ultimate evil. Ultimate evil.

He's got a terrible haircut. I don't know. Personally, I think that was Jerry Ullman's best look. It's a terrible haircut. Half plastic head cover. Yeah, half plastic head cover, half Ben Gibbard circa 2008. You're describing my first love, so you're in the right track. You really are a mid-level goth.

Uh-huh. A mid-century goth. Have you not seen my nose-piercing scar? No. Mangalores. Ha! I was close. Mangalores.

Mangalores. I'm not just purely fucking racist. I was just a little bit racist. It's a pinch. It's my mistake. Oh, my God. He has a soul patch in that movie. Oh, fuck yeah, he does.

Gary Oldman has played some weird roles, man. Yeah. Between this and True Romance. Oh, yeah. Weird. It's so crazy how close in time those were to each other also. Really? He was like, yeah, this one guy can be a weird, vaguely.

I don't even know how to describe what those two characters are. It's like, one is like riffraff. Yeah, one is riffraff. Before riffraff. Yeah. He's riffra one is like Riff Raff. Yeah, one is Riff Raff. Before Riff Raff. Yeah. He's Riff Raff and like space hipster. But the kind of hipster

who's secretly a bad person. Yeah. Yeah, I know those guys. I saw Xenon, Girl of the 21st Century. Yeah. Zoom, zoom, zoom.

Sorry, I'm blowing picks guys. That's my mistake. Oh, were you going to choose the Zoom, Zoom, Zoom commercial? No, I was going to choose Xenon, Girl of the

21st Century, the Disney Channel original motion picture. Yeah, that was the song she sings in it, Zoom, Zoom. Sorry,, I was going to choose Xenon, Girl of the 21st Century, the Disney Channel original motion picture. Yeah, that was the song she sings in it, Zoom, Zoom. Sorry, do I know more about movies than you? No, it's because the song is Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Oh, you're David. You made my heart go boom, boom. Right.

And you sang Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. That's a Zoom, Zoom commercial. Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Which David did pick. Yes. He certainly did. As a summer jam. As a summer jam.

Of course. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. I'm on his side on that one. Yeah. So that is my pick. Fifth Element, excellent second pick. It is summer jam. Summer jam. Of course. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. I'm on his side on that one. Yeah. So that is my pick. Fifth element. Excellent second pick.

It is time for my second pick. And I am going to take the Grand Budapest Hotel. Ooh. Yeah. Which I have to admit, I did see on one of those lists. It is on one of the lists. But it's also a place I just want to fucking live. Yeah.

The old times, though. The old times. Okay. The old times. Okay, that sounds bad. What do you mean? The movie split into two. Make Budapest great again. No, the movie split into the two parts. I don't want to live in the present day.

You want to live in the retelling of the great Budapest. In the retelling. Okay. Where there's just fabulous pastries. Oh, yeah. Past that. And Saoirse Ronan. Yeah, Saoirse Ronan.

Demi's going to be jealous. He loves her. Saoirse Ronan. I love her so much. She's so great, isn't she? Yeah, Saoirse Ronan. Demi's going to be jealous. He loves her. Saoirse Ronan. I love her so much. She's so great, isn't she? Yeah, she's my celebrity crush top of the list. I didn't save the Tinder bio, but it's on there. You can choose to click it.

Also, in this scenario, I'm not Jewish. Toss me a white phone. Right. Where is Budapest? Hungary. Where's Hungary? Europe. Okay, cool, cool, cool.

Eastern Europe is West. It's in your ass, dude. Although I don't think the hotel's not in Budapest, is it? I don't know. Budapest, by the way. I don't even know where Hungary is. You're asking the wrong person. I don't know that it is.

I don't think it is. I think it's just called that. No, it is. It is, because Mendel's is- Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Man, you could eat good pastries and hang out with a rich old Tilda Swinton.

I know. Look at gorgeous linings of fabrics. It's such a beautiful. I thought about that. And the reason I didn't write it on my list is because I was like, isn't there a lot of like war and stuff? There's a lot of war. There's a lot of war.

There's art theft and war. Is there anything worse? I kind of feel like I would thrive in that thrill. I would thrive in that environment. You got like a Mordecai vibe. Yeah. Thank you. It's the mustache. I could grow a thick mustache. You got like a Mordecai vibe. Yeah, thank you. It's the mustache.

I could grow a thick mustache. You could see me poured into a suit. You see me pouring into a suit. Into a purple suit. I just feel like I could find my little corner. Everything's very, it's the most, maybe this isn't true, but to me, it's like the most, holy shit, I'm blanking,

Wes Anderson-y, just like color palette wise and everything. It's my favorite one of his, too. That music we'll be playing all the time. Interesting. There may be some other Wes Anderson pics on the board still. I know, and that's on my list. It's on your list, I'm sure.

It might be. We'll see. Anyway, yeah, I just want to live in the Grand Budapest Hotel. You get to have room service every day? Get to have what? Room service every fucking day? Room service every day. Unless you are the person giving the room service.

Oh, true, but you're not. No, no, no, no, no. Look at that mustache. I'm a socialite. He's rich. That's true. That's a rich man's mustache. I made my money in, oh God, what is it called?

I don't know, anthracite. What? You couldn't think of what you were trying to get, so you went with something way more specific. That's not even what I wanted. Coke. Cocaine? Not cocaine. Coca-Cola. Coke, which is used in like, it's a mineral used in manufacturing. I'm fleshing out this character.

I wish I could see how your brain works. I own a mine somewhere. It's on a lot of red thread on a... Serial killer detective's board, of course. You're one of the guys who's hanging out in the bathhouse every day. You're just kind of like, this is my life. I don't really live in this hotel. He has a newspaper everywhere he goes. I'm in a

steam room being slapped. You know what I mean? Because that's like, they think that's good for you. And you can wear a robe out and no one thinks it's weird. Like, you look great in a robe. It's a kimono on you. It's got like a collar. You know? It's like a nice robe. Yeah, Grand Budap Fantastic in a robe. It's a kimono on you. It's got, like, a collar. You know?

It's, like, a nice robe. Yeah. Yeah, Grand Budapest Hotel. God, that's a good pick. I'm living there. Ballers. Ify, it is time for your ballers. Succession. This is not TV shows.

Billions. Oh, fuck. I would live in ballers. I just don't know what else Sean says. Ballers. Ballers. You're an alien so far. Ify, time for your second pick.

You know, my second pick, one, two, once again, take another lifestyle choice, a choice that I think would enhance my life through living in this world. Maybe this world seems to have a better take on some of the stuff we do, which is why for mine, you know, I dug deep, I looked hard. I say, La La Land. That's just Los Angeles. No, no, no. In La La Land's Los Angeles, if you really want to be an actor, you just become one. If you really want to own a jazz club in 2017, it happens.

It just happens for you. So I want to live in the world where I get to do whatever I really want as long as my heart wants it. And sometimes I'm stuck in traffic on the 110 because there's a musical number. Yeah. You just want to live in a world where John Legend is a successful jazz musician. Turned pop artist? Who do you want to be? Is it a character in the movie or it's just L.A.?

I'm just the character. You're Ryan Gosling? No, I'm the guy who has a very successful acting career because I just wanted it. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they made a movie about you around based on your life. Yeah, yeah. And you're a dead aunt. Maybe in La La Land 2, I'm like Emma Stone's co like co-star and she's like damn this thick slab of chocolate kind of get my eyes

and it's about you know trying to balance you know a home life okay and you know lust in hollywood yeah when you go left without looking my age to live in Paris stumbled into the sun and music starts out of nowhere for you every time you say those phrases I don't think that's a bad vibe I do like the idea that you work on a thing with Emma Stone she's like so how'd you get here and it's like I don't I just chose to

yeah yeah I wanted it we do actually left LA and they found me yeah cause that's how it works right yeah 100% I would uh I'd come to your one woman show Actually left LA and they found me. Because that's how it works, right? Yeah, 100%. I would come to your one-woman show. Oh, thanks. I wouldn't, but that'd be part of the drive. That's what drives you to succeed.

If it was just LA, but when there was traffic, people were tap dancing on their cars, that's a better LA. Can everyone hear the music? What if not? That's what I want. It's like the silent disco where they're holding headphones but still doing a synchronized dance. What the music? What if not? That's what I want. It's like the silent disco where they're holding headphones but still doing a synchronized dance.

What the fuck? It's basically following down for everyone else. But for you, it's La La Land. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a wild pick. Yeah. That feels like a David pick to me. That's a wild card. You're hitting that La La Land.

You already live in LA and you chose Poopin, which you live in. That's how much I love my city, baby. I You're hitting that La La Land. You already live in LA and you chose to live in LA. That's how much I love my city, baby. I want to live in La La Land because I feel like I could strong arm Ryan Gosling into letting me open a Domino's room in the back of his Jazz Club. That's true. That's so true. And we're playing Domino's. I got a fish guy. We're selling fish out of the back of there.

He's like, I just want to try tapas. That tapas place look good? Yeah. You shouldn't on tapasambo. I was like, that sounds like a cool combo. That place in Burbank? All right. I'm like, let's go.

City of stars. Yeah, exactly. And by all the land, of course he meant he wanted to live in moonlight. Oh, imagine someone picking Moonlight in this pick. Miel, it's time for your second and third picks. Don't pick Moonlight. Okay. See, now I really don't know what to pick strategically

because I feel like everyone's all over the board here. I don't know what anyone's going to pick. You can't get me. Well, okay, do I stay true to myself? If I'm really being Sean, I stay true to myself. Although maybe with a couple rogue ones here and there. If you really be Sean, you say you're going I stay true to myself? If I'm really being Sean, I stay true to myself. Although maybe with a couple rogue ones here and there. If you really be Sean, you say you're going to stay true to yourself and you go, no, actually, I'm going to do this. Okay, I'm going to try to play strategically.

I'm going to choose one I think people are going to choose. I'm going to choose Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Because I want to eat every motherfucking thing in that factory. And it has haunted me since the first time I saw it. That's a good pick. chocolate factory because I want to eat every motherfucking thing in that factory and it has haunted me since the first time I saw it. That's a good pick. I want to drown to death in that chocolate river. Okay.

You're prepared to do that because that will happen to you. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Well, see, in my world, I'm cool. They're not trying to teach me a lesson because I already know the lesson. Right. I'm not a little fucking cheating piece of shit kid.

That's the lesson you need to learn. Yes. Is that you're not. That I'm not a little kid with a very punchable face and annoying parent. So I'm good. Yeah.

The Oompa Loompas, they fucking, we get high together too. You fuck with the Oompa Loompas. Yeah, we fucking smoke them up every day. They're chill with me. Blaze it up 420 with the Oompa Loompas. Yeah.

What do you think they're doing there all day? Hanging around a bunch of food. Yeah, I want to fucking, I want to know what schnozberries taste like. I want to fucking eat one of those blueberries that turn into a blueberry. Because they also don't show explicitly what happened to the kids.

If you're saying that like, I have to inflate into a blueberry, but then it's all chill later, I get to come back to being a person. That's cool with me. Does she come back to being a person? They don't determine it either way. I assume she explodes.

Nah. I think she gets to come back and it's just off camera because they want you to believe she died. I think all those children die in that movie except for Charlie Buckets. Well then I'm the eighth kid. You believe you make it out of... Charlie Buckets gets through but it's

still not with kindness. It's still kind of like a ah ha ha. Well see the one thing I want to counter with this choice is that you're aware of the children's vices who went there when it's going to target your personal vice. And can you withstand that? I'm a janitor and I just get to hang out in there. So you just want to be one of the Oompa Loompas. But I'm me because I don't want to be tiny and orange and green hair.

That looks painful. Okay. So I'm just me and I get to chill with the Oompa Loompas and they're chill with me. No one's trying to teach me a lesson. They have so much candy. They're like, please get rid of it. I like the idea of the spinoff movie that is set before this movie. And it's you just like, I'm looking for a job.

Can I work in the factory? He's like, yeah. Okay. You're telling me that it's canon that they designed this whole fantasy factory just to teach these kids a lesson. No, that factory existed. Oh yeah.

So around those kids, fuck the kids. I don't care about them. Charlie Buckets, his dumb ass grandpa. Fuck that guy. Absolutely. Fuck that guy.

You're not sick. You make your daughter work for you. I'm so mad. You think, you think that Willy Wonka is only an insane sociopath who's murdering children that one day? Yes. Yes.

And the rest of the time he's a cool boss? That's why it's such a big thing. The golden ticket, he's like, I'm finally going to do it. I'm finally going to get out this murder giant. I still think behind closed doors he's a psycho, though. But he's not in the factory. He's an aristocrat. He's in his office.

They have a new Wonka movie coming out. Probably going to explore the fact that he's a psychopath. Good. Good. We're going to get to the bottom of this. I'm just saying, nine days out of ten, he's not in the fucking warehouse where I am, gorging myself on edible toadstools.

You're in there working as a, those toadstools do look good. They look fucking good, right? They do look good. I mean, yes, everything in the candy room looks delicious. I'm just saying, there's some shady shit.

Oh yeah, 100%. You know the big candy room. I don't mind the shady shit. You're a janitor? I'm a janitor. Come with me, and you'll see, I'm going to go all,

he's singing the song again. There's a clog in the break room toilet. Yeah, but the clog's chocolate. I'll still eat it. I'll still eat it. I just want to say everything we know about Wonka, willing to let kids die in his factory, definitely using slave labor.

Yes, those little balloons are not compensated. So you think he's going to treat you well? Okay, this is, first of all, I would like to call out everyone's picks as having villains in them. We didn't focus on that. Mamma Mia? Are you kidding? Who's the villain in Mamma Mia? Sky.

And don't say polygamy. Sky. Who's Sky? Don't say polygamy. It's Dominic Cooper. He's not a villain. Whatever. It doesn't matter.

Fuck you. my point is there are villains in all these movies we're not focusing on how the villain interacts with our characters I didn't go through

and say oh but that snake's gonna fuck I didn't go through you did say that you did say that you literally said that and then

let it go you didn't point out the villain of La La Land yeah I don't know who that villain is. It's also the protagonist. There's probably a villain in every Fast and Furious movie.

I didn't point them out. We deal with them because they're just petty drug dealers. And they later return sometimes as the heroes. Okay, then give me that same credit. I will deal with Wonka. Okay. We are fine. He's not tricking me into shit. I'm a woman.

I'm a grown ass woman. You notice there are none of those in that fucking factory. Why? Because we're smart. He can't pull his shit on us. But you just said you're opting to work in the factory. They're dead. They're in the basement, Mielle. They're dead. They're giving birth to fucking caramel babies

somehow. Oh my god, it's like Mad Max meets fucking a woman. It's a nightmare scenario in the basement. Oompa loompa dooboo dee didness me. Not in my fucking movie, you assholes. In my movie, I'm just the Good Will Hunting guy. I'm sweeping out... I'm just imagining like, sorry to bother you, but in the Wonka factory,

like you're the union lady who's like, I'm gonna fucking shape this place up. Yeah, while I get to try every fucking thing I wanted to eat since I was three years old. Yeah. I'm pissed that that's not real yet. You got a giant poster of you in like Technicolor that says oompa loompa doompity doonionize.

A Shepard Fairey original. Now we're talking. Thank you. I'm on your side. This is my vision. I also love that you are turning a blind eye. You are willing to be like, hey, I'm just the janitor here.

We said worlds we wanna live in. We did not say with the characters from the movie. We said the world that is established in the movie. I'm taking it at face value. I'm choosing that world. I'm trying to play like the monkey's paw and all of these words like, but what's the worst case scenario?

And it's that you get to live in this universe, but you're not one of the kids that get selected. So you just live in like Cincinnati. Yes, I lived in poverty in London. Yeah, you sleep in a bed with your grandparents. Yeah. I don't know, that kind of stupid is good. Everything you just described is just a fever dream

you wake up from, from having the shakes, from just living in poverty next to this huge conglomerate. I've inhaled so much coal. All I'm saying is you work in a factory where there's one room full of soda that makes you float. And at the top of that room is a fan that will slice you in half. And a man signed off on that blueprint,

and that's your boss. I wear cement shoes in there. And then I take them off to go to the chocolate river for a light swim. Where I also get my workout because it moves itself and I can swim in place. Okay, you come into my office real quick. Why are you wearing those heavy shoes today? Well, I was just cleaning up a blood spill in the old bubble room. I'm on the inside in this narrative, okay?

No one's hoodwinking me, okay? Sure. Let me have this. All right, and your third? I love this pick. I genuinely do. Yes, it's good. It stood up to interrogation.

Your third pick. Okay, motherfuckers. I'm choosing fucking Fern Gully. Oh, okay. Fuck all of you. I, okay. If you try to choose the ripped off version of this, which I will not name because I am sure based on your energies, one of you assholes will choose it.

Nope. This is a good one. Okay. This is the original stepping on water and it lights up. I get to fly. I get to hang out with Robin Williams, but he's a bat. Evil oil. Nah, not here, my friend.

We're staying in a rainforest. Don't you have to deal with deforestation? No, because we win. Okay. That's right. We Okay. That's right. Then you win. That's right. That big machine that just grabs trees and like,

isn't that what it does? Whose voice is it? The oil is like a character and it's scary. It's a man's voice. I don't know who it is. I have no idea. I think it's Tim Curry. Is it Tim Curry?

It probably is Tim Curry. It is Tim Curry. Is it? Yeah. Woo! Oh, 28 Days Slater's in that movie too. 28 Days Slater? Christian Slater. Oh, he's. Woo! Oh, 28 Days Slater's in that movie, too. 28 Days Slater? Christian Slater.

Oh, he's the love interest, huh? Christian Slater. And plus, if I get to be the girl, which, you know, who's to say a girl can dream? If I get to be that girl fairy, whatever her name is, I got that cool-ass choppy bob. Her name's Girl Fairy. Krista. Krista. Krista.

Not a fairy name. Could punch that up a bit. And Zach. Krista and Zach. These are not fairy names at all. Zach, not a fairy name. Could punch that up a bit. And Zach. Krista and Zach. These are not fairy names at all. Zach's not a fairy. Zach's a worker for the oil company that gets shrunk down to fairy size. Oh, oh.

And she takes him under her literal wing. It is all coming back to me now, how many movies this is just, like, how many movies rip this off, like, down to just. Yes. Okay. Now you see why I got to shout out the original Fern Gully. Sure. Tove Loke is in there, too.

Tove Loke. Tove Loke. Tove Loke. Tove Loke. Tove Loke. Shout out to To Fern Gully. Sure. Toad Loke is in there, too. Toad Loke? Toad Loke. Shout out to Toad Loke, though. Toad Loke. I'm going to stay high. Fern Gully. I thought you said Toad Loke. Toad Loke.

Which is who he would be in this one. Toad Loke would sound the same as Toad Loke, though. Yeah. Toad Loke. Wait, the guy that, oh yeah, the guy that, what's his name? Link Check. Young MC wrote songs for, thank you. Yeah, I don't know if you can fight that.

That's a good pick. Fuck you guys. I mean, I already put out my point, which is that you have to deal with deforestation, but you win. How many Ferngullis were there? There were like- I only saw one. Okay.

The one that matters. Yeah, the one with Robin Williams is the only one I acknowledge. You're not living in Ferngully 2, Island of Lost Souls or whatever. They took a dark turn. It's The Magical Rescue. Is that what it is? Ferngully 2, The Magical Rescue. Okay.

Yeah. No, no. Once it becomes a franchise, I'm less interested. Fair. Fair. Ferngully. Excellent pick. Living in the rainforest.

Ify, time for you a third pick. Ooh, okay. So I was thinking about this a lot and then honestly just been bouncing around in my head which one I want to jump on. And I think, oh my gosh, the world of Harlem Nights. Oh, some cool ass black stuff. I don't know what Harlem Nights is. I don't think I do either. What?

Oh, wait, Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Oh, right, right. Because you said Harlem Nights, and I was like, oh, from Coming to America, and then I was like, that's not. Yeah, no. Never mind. Yeah, I was like, Harlem Days?

Do the right thing? Yeah, no, it's like straight up like- It's Harlem Renaissance, right? Yeah. Whoa, what? I feel like the image I have of that movie- Wait, with like a K-Nights? Huh?

No. Nights with a K-Renaissance? Not that- You know what the Harlem-Nights? Huh? No. Like, nights with a K-Renaissance? Not that... Do you know what the Harlem Renaissance is, Mio? No. Mio, you're thinking of one of my picks, Black Knight, with Martin Lewis. I know, I've never heard of this movie. I don't know anything about it.

Oh, it's amazing. I know of that movie. It's an image of, like, Eddie Murphy in a white tuxedo. Yes. Oh, God, that's a good pick. Yeah. Yeah, so, yeah, it's all, like, it's just basically the Harlem Renaissance. Everyone's successful.

There's a great... Racism isn't mentioned that much in the movie i think it's mentioned once so we're all living our best lives and somehow dodging the racism at the time and uh it's it's i think you should watch it i will there's like a great fight scene in that movie where it's like him fighting in the alley with some yeah and he's he threatens to shoot scene in that movie where it's like him fighting in the alley with some woman. And he threatens to shoot her pinky toe. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. Because he doesn't want to fight her because he doesn't know she's an older lady. It's really good. Do you get to hang out with Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor in this?

Oh, yeah. I'm in the crew. I'm like in this like. In the nightclub. Yeah. Is it a nightclub? Yeah. Ooh, is it a good one?

Do they play good music? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe you're more familiar with Busta Rhymes' music video, Pass the Kvasiers, withdraws heavily. Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah. Ooh, is it a good one? Do they play good music? Oh, yeah. Maybe you're more familiar with Busta Rhymes' music video, Pass the Cavassier. It withdraws heavily. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I totally forgot.

Right? I think they even do the scene of the pinky toe from it. You really just want to live somewhere where there's a jazz club. Yeah. Maybe you should open a jazz club, man. Are you finding your calling on air? Oh, man, maybe I should uh that would be fun this suits would be amazing yeah you'd get to drive an old fun car oh yeah yeah there are lots of

chase scenes too what year is it 30s oh my god okay i i was thinking it was like cool like 90s based on eddie murphy and richard i keep wanting to compare it to other things and i'm like well i don't want to ruin that but it's a a lot like, well, I won't say it. Actually, I feel like if it hasn't been said already, it's kind of like living in a fucking world with the penguin. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, the penguin from Batman? Yeah. Oh, Batman Forever? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that that one? Danny DeVito and all. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, cool. I know a movie. We all know one. I know it. That sounds sick. Do you got a zoot suit? I DeVito and all. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, cool. I know a movie. We all know one. I know it. That sounds sick. Do you got a zoot suit? I'm going to have one. You're going to have one?

Yeah, I'm going to get one. I'm probably going to be one of Eddie Murphy's main men, you know, and I'll be in. You'll be in number five on speed dial? So I'll be there for all the action. I'm really well off getting all the ladies. Fuck yeah. Yeah, you know. You're Gatsby of the hang.

Yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, it's all Gatsby's. And Danny Aiello Fuck yeah. Yeah, you know. You're Gatsby of the hang. Yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, it's all Gatsby's. And Danny Aiello is there. Yeah. Oh, Red Fox was in that movie. Oh, yeah. That's right.

Who, and Charlie Murphy. Yeah. It was like a pretty studded cast. Murderous Row, yeah. Yeah. Harle Knight. Hell yeah. Yeah.

That would be fun. Yeah. Ooh, I could be in there too as some sort of powerful Jew. Yeah. Yeah. You could have the private room at the club. I'd call you Bubby. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like real life. All right, Bubby. Excellent pick. Oh, it's time for my third pick. Yes. All right.

I'm going to take The Hobbit. Ooh. Yeah. The animated The Hobbit. Yeah. The Ralph Bakshi Hobbit. Yeah. I'm curious.

Why The Hobbit, not Lord of the Rings? Lord of the Rings, everything seems a little bit heavier. So it's the timing. Yeah. And just to be very specific, I'm never leaving the Shire. No, you're not. I'm not one of the heroes. No, you're the Samwise Gamgee of time.

You're the dude who throws the party after they come back. Right, exactly. They're coming back? All right, fantastic. I'm a party planner in the Shire. Excellent. That's exactly the one with me. Yes. You're? Alright, fantastic. I'm a party planner in the Shire. Excellent, that's exactly who I want to be. You're drunk all the time.

I am a Shire party planner. You see them going off on a quest and you're like, ooh, they'll be back in three days. That gives me enough time to go to Vine American and get a piñata. A smog-shaped piñata. Yes. They eat so many meals in the Shire. Oh yeah. Wait, hold on. Do you have a list?

I'm looking it up right now. Oh, man. A list of meals? List of meals. Meals. Oh, meal. Okay. Breakfast at 7 a.m.

Second breakfast at 9 a.m. Elevensy's at 11. Elevensy's is my favorite one. Lunch at 1 p.m. Afternoon tea at 3. Dinner's at 6. And then supper's at 9. Yep.

Wow. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I feel like we're going to be eating a lot of scones. Oh, yeah. It's going to be a lot of jam. Yep. There's probably delicious che Yep. Wow. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I feel like we're going to be eating a lot of scones. Oh yeah. There's going to be a lot of jam. Yep.

There's probably delicious cheeses. Oh yeah. Are you kidding? For sure. For sure there's delicious cheeses. Their metabolism sounds insane. Oh yeah. It goes to their feet.

Yeah. Yeah. We're going to have hairy feet, which I already do. So it's a perfect situation for me. Yep. I'm just laying back in the cut. Little round door. Smoking a pipe.

It's just living there looks so peaceful and wonderful. Are you kidding? It looks the cut. Little round door. Smoking a pipe. It's just living there looks so peaceful and wonderful. Are you kidding? It looks the best. Yeah. I feel like they don't visit the elves in that one. No.

That could be sick too if you could travel between the two. It's fine with me. They go to the land of man. Gondor? Right, yeah. And they hang out in barrels.

But again, I'm not fucking with any of that. So do you want to live in the Peter Jackson like 60 frames per second that so are you do you want to live in the peter jackson like 60 frames per second bullshit one or do you want to live in the animated one oh the animated 40s or whatever the fuck i want to live in the animated one where i'm like i have a weirdly round where the wild things are ass head yeah your eyes look constantly worried even

though you're still at home yeah yeah i could could totally see you there. Yeah, right? You're pig so far. I'm like, yep. That's Ian. That's the Ian vibe. I can live in these worlds. It's almost like these worlds live in you. Ooh.

Oh, we'll be right back. And I'm smoking a pipe. Oh, they smoke hella weed in the Shire. Whatever Hobbit marijuana is. It's just weed, dude. I'm just, yeah. Pipe weed.

I'm just stoned, planning parties, eating seven meals a day. Every now and again, Gandalf comes through and you get to see some dope ass fireworks. Right. He shows you how to blow smoke dragons. Oh shit, Gandalf's here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He loves the hobbits.

I actually sell Gandalf weed, too. That's another side hustle I have. Because there's only so many parties, so I'm also moving units to Gandalf. Fool of a toke. And you live to be like 100. Fool of a toke. And you live to be like 100. Fool of a toke. Toke, it's fine. You live to be like 400.

It was a weed pun. Oh, you were doing a pun? Toke. My nerdism got in the way of any comedy. It just literally oversaw any joke. I was like, get it right, please. You can't. I'm that guy on Twitter ruining your tweets.

Bowl of a toke. Bowl of a toke. There it is. Bowl of a toke. That you would have gotten. Make bumper stickers, dude. Bowl of a toke. Bowl of a toke. There it is. Bowl of a toke. That you would have gotten. Make bumper stickers, dude. Bowl of a toke. No.

We'll do no merch ever. No, we will. We will. You'd be inherently good at landscaping. Right. You'd just be the coolest dude. I'd wear a vest and nobody would say anything about it. Your hair would be somehow ringlets.

Yeah. Just perfect ringlets. Man. When I was going to the listicles, so many people were like, Lord of the Rings. And I was like, you guys are forgetting so much of Lord of the Rings and I was like you guys are forgetting so much of Lord of the Rings it's all dramatic and now I'm remembering

oh yeah the hobbits too the Shire but I was like well you're not gonna be able to pick just the Shire yeah cause all the drama

happens when they leave the Shire and somehow when they come back the Shire is super straight like almost as if nothing happened like oh we thought

you all died that's not what happens in the actual Lord of the Rings books but they cut it from the movie. Type nerd. So you guys were wondering, Wormtongue does go to the Shire and he does wreck it.

I don't even know who Wormtongue is. He's the guy that is like Saruman's second in command. And he's like possessing the dude up with the horses, whatever they're called. The witch present is here. You know, in the movie where the guy like. Yes. Theoden. Yeah.

And he's like all old and then he all of a sudden is like hot and young again I've seen all of them once and I just watched all the extended editions back to back I don't have any recollection in depth of any of these yeah this is really

the names but I know the whisper ear guy cause I was like oh you gotta not listen to him D.O.N.'s dad right? E.O.N.

A.O.N. I don't know his name it's E.N. thank you and the dad is Ivan Ivan I'm so sorry

I've been saying you wrong the whole time Inovan Carmel that is my mistake Ewan Carmel The Hobbit that's my pick that's a great name

Debbie the star for your third and fourth picks we've been doing it too safe I'm going with a buck wild pick I'm going Coco

that's right I'm dead I'm fucking dead. First of all, let me get that out of the way. Yeah, I am. It's fine. You want to be dead. Huh?

You want to be dead. No, I'm just saying like, I'm going to die. Yeah. I'll accept it. I'm in the Coco land. Yeah. We're going to get there eventually. Coco land.

We're calling the afterlife Coco land. Sure. That's how I'm referring to it now. Not the great beyond. Coco land. If I ever have kids, I'm going to say, hey, look, one day you're going to go to Coco Land. Sure. That's what, that's how I'm referring to it now. Not the great beyond Coco Land. If I ever have kids, I'm going to say, Hey,

look one day you're going to go to Coco Land. See, here's the, here's, here's, I was thinking Coco too, but here's my problem. I feel like Coco,

there's a lot of pressure and I feel like you're in the same boat. Um, for you to keep living, your family has to remember you. Oh, that's true. Okay. And remember,

we come from large Nigerian families. Yeah. And we both aren't doctors. So you're already got so much. All right, so I gotta get like

one good thing going and then I'm going to Cocoa Run. I'll have like a movie made with a credit on it. Yeah, then Nollie would remember you forever. Yes, that's true.

Doesn't have to be your family that remembers you, right? Just somebody. That's true. Yeah, somebody. So get famous enough and you're fine. Yeah, I think you're good, you know, some punch up the jam folks. If your dad's to remember you, you could commit a mass atrocity. Oh my god, that's the way

to be remembered. Charles Manson will be remembered forever. Wow, you're right. Okay, I'll kill somebody and then I'll go to Cocoa Land. You know what? I'll go work at the Wonka factory and then I'll go to Cocoa Land. That's the way to die. I drowned on chocolate. It's like, hey, you're remembered every year on the anniversary of the Wonka murders. The Wonka massacre.

The Wonka massacre. So are you a skeleton? Hell yeah, I am. And what do you do past the other 364 days of the year? You know, sometimes I'm dancing. Sometimes I'm living it up in my beautiful, colorful house. Sometimes I'm hanging with my dog, who is also a skeleton. It's essentially the Nightmare Before Christmas, but there's no Oogie Boogie Man. There's just a guy who's lying about who

he is. I don't give a shit. Not my family. True, true, true. I can play guitar, or I can learn. Well, you have a lot of time. I have so much time. I can throw parts of my body if I'm mad at someone and go get the arm back. Yeah. Because all of me is detachable. Yeah, I've always wanted to detach myself. Yeah.

It's a beautiful, whimsical land full of music. Yeah. Who wouldn't want to live there? I feel like the story of Coco is sad, but if I'm just someone who it's like, ah, that story happened, I'm dead, and I'm here, I'm living it up. I'm having the time of my life. Hell yeah. If you're just off on the side. Yeah. Yeah to greet people when they die i'm like hey how'd you

get in here what you fucking accidentally got hit in a car wreck you idiot come on that would be fun you could spend all the eternity just hearing stories about how people die yes they're probably so entertaining every week i go down to the the bridge just be like how'd you die oh that's fucked up well Well, come on in. What did you think was going to happen? You're not supposed to mix those, idiot. That's a good pick. Yeah.

Thank you. That wouldn't have occurred to me. And for my second pick, I'm going another buck one, 12 years a slave. I'm kidding. Oh my God. I just wanted to see. No, I can't take it. I'm stealing something that Mielle was going to do again.

You had me for one split second. I should have waited a little bit more just to see your face. Well, I was going to be too polite. I'd be like, oh, yeah, okay. Like a retribution thing? Or like, what are you thinking? If I wanted retribution, I might 12 Years a Slave and not Django Unchained. Right, yeah.

No, it's a curious pick for sure. No, my actual pick, this is a crazy one, Now You See Me. Wait, the magic movie with Jesse Larson? Hell yeah, the magic movie. The movie's where any trick is possible, and it's like- But it's not real, though. They're not actually magic. It's real in the universe, though.

Don't they know they're actually magic, right? No, I don't think so. I've only seen them once. Are they actually magic? No, it's not actual magic, but the rules of this movie do not make sense. All the tricks there are not possible, which is why it's like Harry Potter, but the real world. Yeah. Fuck you.

I'm saying it. Okay. It'll come up. It's like I'm a magician. There we go. But I'm also just still living in LA. It's like a boy wizard at an academy. Yeah. All right. Some sort of he's a boy wizard at an academy. Yeah.

Some sort of... A non-specific boy academy wizard. Or Lizzie Kaplan. I'm not going to respond to any of this. Shouts to Lizzie Kaplan. All I'm saying is that I love the idea that I live in a world where every single magic trick is completely unfathomable but I also am like rich and people are like, you're hot because you do magic

and magic is hot. So you just want to live in a universe so fucked up that magicians are hot. Correct. I want to live in a universe where Jesse Eisenberg is a sex icon. Some people think magicians are hot. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, Chris Angel's made a whole career off of this. If you think magicians are hot, my DMs are open. Because I can pull a quarter out of your anywhere.

Now that is impressive. You go down on a girl and you come up with a quarter on your tongue? What's this doing down there? She's like, wait, did you really touch my pussy? Because I will for sure have a yeast infection, you fucking asshole. That's why I keep my coins. Put it back. Don't worry.

There's also $10 down here. Yeah, I guess that could come in handy. At a certain point, you're just a clown. You're just pulling out scarves. I don't know. I don't think magicians are very fuckable, personally. They aren't in our world. They are in Now You See Me.

That's why you want to be in my world. I feel like, I don't think she'd be mad at me for telling tales out of school. Friend of the podcast, Eliza Skinner. I think she's attracted to magicians. I feel like she has said that in front of me as well. Yeah. That feels true. Yeah, that's a type. There are people who are attracted to magicians. I feel like she has said that in front of me as well. Yeah. That feels true. Yeah, that's a type.

There are people who are attracted to magicians. Wow. So Demi, you don't need to live in a movie to make that a reality, bud. I still want to live in the movie. They get to wear blazers a lot. They have their faces projected on the buildings. In one of them, they turn into money. They just turn into money.

Yeah, or they take a, I don't know what to call it, a chute, a construction chute off the side of the building into China. Correct. They get hypnotized by Daniel Radcliffe, magician's son of Michael Caine. I don't think Daniel Radcliffe should be able to do more than one magic movie. You're right. He can only do Now You See Me. Is Michael Caine in Now You See Me?

He's in both of them. And in The Prestige? Yes. So he's in all these magician movies. Is he trying to tell us something? Whoa. I'm trying to tell you I'm a wizard. He's broke.

I would love to do another Dark Knight. Michael Caine? That's a great Michael Caine. Sean Connery? Michael Caine. Michael Caine. Michael Caine. I'd love to do another movie with a magician.

I'll tell you, oh no, man. We're pretty good. I'll swear to your mother but I want the magic it was not good I'll tell your mother and father that I would be good to you

and I'll have it I'll tell your father before yeah that's a crazy if you want to hear a good Michael Caine impression go watch The Trip very funny movie

yeah or Harry Brown a movie that Michael Caine is in oh yeah just watch Michael Caine do a Michael Caine impression yeah yeah yeah Michael Caine just be himself Michael God Michael Caine is in. Oh, yeah. Just watch Michael Caine do a Michael Caine impression. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Michael Caine just be himself.

My cocaine. Michael Caine. The secret. I didn't come up with this, but the secret to doing a Michael, like as you say Michael Caine's name, like you're saying my cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine.

My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine.

My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine.

My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine.

My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine.

My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine.

My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine.

My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine.

My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My cocaine. My's a great podcast. We just dropped impressions of Michael Caine.

People are just getting up. They're getting a little cry. You know, they're listening to The Office. It's fine. They're halfway to Cincinnati. Yeah. Like, you know, I'm on the street. I should pay attention to some of the road.

Yeah, right? Catching the breath. You're welcome. We need to give you these moments so you don't cry. Who almost took the wrong exit? Thank God we started talking about Michael Caine. My cocaine. My cocaine.

Now you see me. Great pick. Time for my fourth pick. And I am going to take another land I feel like I would thrive in. Hopefully. I'm taking the Princess Bride. Oh! Yeah. Yes. Which one? Which area do you want

to live in most? I want to live with Billy Crystal. And Carol Kane, right? Yeah, Carol Kane. To blaze. To blaze. I want to live with Billy Crystal. And Carole Kane, right? Yeah, Carole Kane. To blaze. To blaze. I feel like I'm like their no good son. You definitely are. You also love a good MLT. I love a good MLT. They're sending me money every week.

You know, I'm out there. I'm doing princess improv. I'm trying to get my career going. The king keeps threatening to kill you for your jokes. Yeah, right. Exactly. But they're like, oh, he's fine. Even when he does, they bring me back to life

because that's part of it. Yep. Yeah. He just puts like a, what is that called? The bellows in your mouth. Oh, yeah. My dad keeps trying

to get me to join the Brute Squad. He's like, you'd be great in the Brute Squad. Can you imagine your parents being Billy Crystal and Carole Kane?

Yes. What a dream. Oh, my God. First of all, you'd be so Jewish. Second of all, you'd be so Jewish. Second of all, you'd be so funny. Yeah. Holy shit.

You'd just be like, I hate comedy because it's just attached to these people. Maybe. Maybe you would. It'd be a rebellion thing. Yeah. You'd be like,

I'm actually a lawyer and I hate comedy. I'd become a magician. Is a magician the opposite of a comedian? I think so. Yeah, it feels right. There's nothing funny about magic. No.

There's nothing magical about comedy. No, no, no, no. In many ways, there is someone shuffling the cards between their hands and it just went everywhere because of Vicious. These assholes. Now it's comedy. I'm going to make all fantasy everything disappear.

Can I get in the studio early? I need to hang some mirrors. I feel like that movie, when I was to hang some mirrors. Oh my God. I feel like that movie, when I was a kid, that was like the scariest movie to me. Just all the shit with- Because there's the rodents of unusual size? No, that wasn't scary to me.

But the stuff with the bellows and with Wesley, he was getting electrocuted or something. He gets killed, but then back to life. I was like, this is crazy. I loved it, though. Also, it'd just be great to be in a world where every now and then you catch a glimpse of Princess Buttercup. Well, I thought you were going to say Andre the Giant.

Huh? Oh, no. I hang out with him all the time in this scenario. You guys are homies. Yeah. And then Inigo Montoya is like- I feel smaller around him. You're like the third wheel.

Inigo? In your giant's hang. Well, after Wallace Shawn's died, they're looking for a third member. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I come in. It's like. I already know that I don't know what any words are. I will not be telling you that I do. I'm reading a land book on why you never get in a land war

in Asia, and I'm like, oh. But you're way less insufferable about it. God, I can totally see that for you. Conceivable! That's my twist on it. I can conceive of it. He's like, one of these has poison. I'll just drink both. Yo, here's wine. I'm not turning that down. It's just C of these has poison. I'll just drink both. I'm not turning that down.

It's just Coddy Sark and I have slowly over the course of the last few years drank larger and larger doses of it. That's your whole secret. You're always fucking on poison. And now I can handle it. Yeah. Yeah, man. That's my secret. I'm always drunk. And you get to live under a tree. Right.

That's sick. That's alright. I'm seeing a theme through your pics. They're just like chill. They're whimsical chills. They're whimsical chills. That's sick. That's alright. Sword fighting. I'm seeing a theme for your picks. They're just like chill. They're whimsical chills. They're whimsical chills. That's the way. Just where I can kind of hang out. Life isn't that easy. I'll probably die in my 30s, but like whatever. But happy. You don't even feel like you needed to live

longer. The Princess Bride. Great pick. Yeah. Solid pick. Alright, so this pick is going only because Mio got so up in arms about it. All right. So this, this pick is going only because me, I'll got so up in arms about it. So I'm definitely going with Harry Potter, but we're going,

we're going out. This is going to be my most creative and dare I say inventive pick where like, I'm not at Hogwarts. I'm wherever all the black people were, which was the black Hogwarts. Oh, the HBCU of Hogwarts. I'm wherever all the black people were, which was the Black Hogwarts. Oh, the HBCU? Yeah, the HBCU

of Hogwarts. And we got step dances, but we're floating. It's like a sorting fitted hat. Oh, it's very true. It's a fucking supreme hat. Oh, your ass think you a Gryffindor? Sit your ass down. You right over there with Slytherin.

It's like, man, are you lucky to be here at all. Yeah, you Slytherin headass boy. Definitely got a drumline situation. He didn't roast you for a full minute just to make sure you can handle being in Hogwarts at all? Are you about to cry? I'm so glad because this is the same one I was going to pick. Oh, perfect. Because you were going to be in the black one?

Yeah. Yeah, so that's definitely what it is. And then, like, the black kid from Harry Potter is going to get transferred to ours, and we're going to roast him for going to the white school. Oh, look, Mr. White Boy in here, coming out here, talking all that. You're going to make that kid transfer back to Hogwarts? Yeah, yeah. Also, it's probably so much more fun, because you don't have to worry about fucking Voldemort all the time. Oh, yeah, no, we are, like, whenever people, like, we actually say Voldemort all the time. You're just hanging out.

We actually say Voldemort and when people ask why don't they say it, it's like, that's why people shit. We don't deal with that. Let him fucking come here. There's one kid who's like, yeah, I fought Voldemort. And he's like, no you didn't, man. He's like, yeah, I did. I fucking did. Kicked his ass. Why do you think he's over there?

Where you think this nose came from he's got like a piece of play-doh this is his fucking nose oh dear everyone believes him though but kind of like oh man now I'm just like

I'm trying to dreamcast like the Black Hogwarts oh yeah and like the ghosts are just like rappers so like Tupac is one of the ghosts

around the yeah Tupac and Biggie are like he didn't do it so in this world then Tupac and Biggie were also wizards? Yeah, that's it.

That's why they were so good at it. In our world, they were also wizards, meow. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And they were hanging out at Black Hogwarts. Moaning Myrtle's just Drake. Yeah, yeah. Zing.

Zing on Drake. I'm hanging out in the bathroom. Why y'all coming from the bathroom? Here's Drake. You gotta... He does know where the Chamber of Secrets is, but he's so annoying. He's just trying to pee.

All the traps are like just... You don't have to fight the Cerberus. It's actually a two-headed bipedal dude that you have to play basketball against. Shut his hands, man. I thought you were saying it was your mom when she caught you with cigarettes. That's the next chamber. That's the next one.

What is this, Ify? He doesn't know this story. When I was 18, I started smoking because I was 18, uh, I, um, I started smoking because I was working at Knott's Berry Farm and everyone smoked.

Sure. Sure. And one time I came home and my mom was sitting in the dark and like, she had the box of cigarettes on the table and was like, what's this iffy. And I got to sit there and wonder how long she was sitting in the dark waiting for me. She either was sitting in the dark waiting for me to come or hurt the car and like ran in the harry potter versions like if it's a

good way are you doing potions mom yeah yeah mom i got into potions i'm sorry i'm so sorry mom you know it's just I think they're fun also like Dumbledore's like Oprah or something oh my god can you imagine like Della Reese you get a house and you get a house

Della Reese the god of fire Harle Knight's own Della Reese is she in Harle Knight's yeah oh yeah great I'm so in

that's the she shot my binky toe I wanna see that fucking movie dude Harry you're a wizard. Could Spike be directed, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could Spike be directed, though?

Yeah, because it all takes place on a hot day. It's all one day. It ends with you guys throwing trash cans into fucking, I don't know, Hagrid's Pizzeria. Artisan Larry Bird would be a better Quidditch player I think we're writing a better movie

than Harry Potter How come you got no black animals on the wall Yeah yeah Come on man Damn I hate this place

Buggin' Out's coming out Holy shit I love this Why is that does not happen How is that up and made? I don't know. I think I've seen

a live stage production of it. Well, I've seen it exist. I haven't seen it, but definitely that movie's long overdue. I'm guessing the rights, but like if you won't release it, why not?

I don't know. Yeah. Huh? Why not? JK. Huh? JK, KK Rowling. Ooh.

Now you have to do it. Yeah. Yeah. When you said you were going with a different one, I thought you were going to choose the Fantastic Beasts ones. I was like, oh, that's the 20s. I don't know. Oh, man.

What a pick. I'm pissed, though. Great pick, Harry Potter. My shit's all What was your last pick? I forgot to write it down because I was laughing so hard. That's right, I just brought it up. Miel, it is time for your fourth and then your final picks. Okay.

I'm deeply relating to Ify's strategy now because all my picks have been fucking picked, Demi and Ify. Thank you so much. I picked one of yours. No, I was also going to choose. And Ian, who had a lot of very popular picks. Well, I was debating Lord of the Rings, but I thought it was too scary. It didn't occur to me to go Hobbit.

That was brilliant on your part. Okay, I'm going to go off the fucking dome here. Okay. I'm going. Call me by your name. What? I want to live in Italy in the summer. That's a fucking great pick.

I want to swim in the river. I want to eat fresh peaches. You can just do that. Yeah, but I can't because I'm like, I don't know, not rich. And I don't have like educated parents. i don't know not rich and i don't have like educated parents i don't know what to tell you i want to i want to fucking go deep sea diving for old statues and i want to hang out with like hot people that are also my age and just so hot for no reason i want to have like a big property where we only close the window sometimes because it's

just so nice out yeah I ride my bike everywhere. I get to lay in a field of fucking long yellow grass and make out. I mean, it's so many dreams of mine coming true in one place. In this version, are you being seduced by an older man or woman? It could be, but I don't need it.

Yeah, which one are you? Are you Army Hammer or are you? Well, I'd for sure be Elio. I mean, are you kidding? Look at me. I'm an Elio through, I'd for sure be Elio. I mean, are you kidding? Look at me. I'm an Elio through and through. You are an Elio. Although this outfit you got is very Army Hammer on the dance floor.

True, true, true. But by the way, love that song. Love My Way. Great tune. Psychedelic first. Okay. Yes, please. I just want to basically live in Italy.

That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah. I want to live in Italy where I don't have to worry about money or a place to stay. And I want to have parents that are like incredibly well educated and speak in five different languages. I also want to have been read to in German since I was a child. It just sounds like a nice life. I want to be able to play music and then be like pretentious about it because I'm playing a different arrangement of it. Yeah.

I feel like if I lived in this world, I would be Elio's mom. Yep. That's without a doubt. Say no more. You are. 100%. I would probably be the chick who was trying to hit on Elio.

That's just been my world. While I was single, I was very good on hitting on women who weren't interested in men. That's you, through and through.

And I do think, back to Ian's point, he's for sure the peach that gets fucked. I'm the peach that gets fucked. I've seen you many times and thought, is that cum?

No, it's sweat. I'm a sweet boy. I'm a basic as fuck. I've seen you many times and thought, is that cum? No, it's sweat. I'm a sweet boy. I'm a sweet boy full of cum. Wait, give me your Tinder vial back. Let's change it. Oh, my God. Big blue vibes. I'm a sweet boy full of cum.

We did it. We crafted the perfect Tinder. Wow. Anyone, anyone can use that. Oh, man. If I had to pick one movie character who I am, it would be the peach from Call Me By Your Name. Oh, my God. Because I'm sweet and I'm full of cum.

Please try that on stage sometime. Maybe between sets at Good Looks. Just see how it goes. You would definitely match with someone. Yes. And if you did match with them, I feel like if they've seen that and they're okay with it, there's so many barriers that have come down. It's like, cool, we can joke about it. You just cut through so much bullshit. They're like, no, you're funny. I feel like if they've seen that and they're okay with it, there's so many barriers that have come down. It's like, cool,

we can joke about it. You just cut through so much bullshit. They're like, no, you're funny. I like this. You're funny. You're funny? You got cum jokes on lock.

Yeah. Dude, any girl that's chill with cum jokes, man, marry her. Trap her. That's how low the bar is? Mm-hmm. Okay.

Yeah, when you're single long enough, if you're good for a cum joke, you want to wear a wedding ring for me? I also love that you said trap her. Trap her, yeah. Is that not okay to say? wedding ring for me I also love that you said trap her trap her

yeah is that not okay to say put it snare her in a trap of manipulation love and understanding yes exactly make her pull the stick

from under that box where she can never get better than you ah that's the way I mean it you gotta keep them down I'm not talking about like an entrapment situation

sure I thought you meant like you know have a baby with her it was like we're together forever that too yeah

get pregnant from her that's what I'm saying or I guess the ultimate cum joke pregnancy meant like, you know, have a baby with her. It was like, we're together forever. That too. Yeah. Get pregnant from her. That's what I'm saying. Or I guess the ultimate cum joke. Pregnancy? That is the ultimate cum joke. We're all kind of cum jokes if you think about it. Sweet little cum jokes. Sweet little cum jokes.

For my, what, my final pick, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I, I'm going, oh man, I gotta stay true to me. I'm going Kiki's Delivery Service. Oh.

I haven't seen it. Oh, Woody. If you wanna live in a world where magic exists. I don't. You know that. I'll stop here. I'll stop here.

Don't wanna upset the big boy. Don't wanna get mad. Don't want him to pull down a tree and knock all the bees out. All right. Because he's a bear. Sorry, go ahead there's just like

witches in this world and that's just cool it's not really talked about it's not a big deal it's just witches like in that eagle song what eagle song keep singing

what if that was my own witcher woman she got the moon in her eye for folks at home the eagles are not in this room that is our own boy Ian Carmel witcher woman I don't know the song For folks at home, the Eagles are not in this room. That is our own boy, Ian Carmel.

I don't know the song, but I'm sure it's exactly the song. You don't know that song? No, no. Oh, man. I feel like you would know Eagles songs just looking at you. I know. I know. I so look like the Emils. Emils.

Emils. Oh, she's definitely not her Eagles song. The Emo Eagles? I love the Emils. The Emo Eagles? Hotel Arkansas. The Emo Eagles. The Emo Eagles are just like all time low.

Yeah. Yeah, I know that band too, for sure. Your lipstick's a hotel California, baby. I know it. We're gonna make it up for all. Different song. Is that an emo song? That is the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song.

Yes, it is. Wow. You go to emo night, like, what are they gonna play? Mary Tyler Moore show theme song. Yes, it is. You go to emo night, like, what are they going to play? I got my hat ready to toss. Look, I was deep in that phase in high school. Emo? Oh, yeah. I never said I'd lie

and wait forever. What is this? My Chemical Romance. Oh, I don't know that many of my Chemical Romance songs. No, I don't know that many My Chemical Romance songs. Oh, that was Ghost of You. When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band. Wow, wow. Guys, that's not Gerard Way in studio.

We have Ian. Sometimes I get that feeling she's watching over me. This is a fun game we're doing now It is I don't totally Are we just like We're just doing a zip zap zop Your turn

Emo song Oh Oh What is that? Yep You know it I thought that was the Oh

Oh That's what it was We got it Emo song of all time For sure Have you ever done the fun thing Of like looking up a band you used to like and finding out that it just went bad? Oh, yeah.

Like they're like Republicans now? Well, no. I went to like Lost Prophets and it was like their lead singer was- A convicted pedophile. Yeah. And you're like, oh, that's what happened to those guys. Okay. Oh, oh.

That's where they were. Well, you know where there's not pedophiles? Kiki's Delivery Service. Oh, go on, go on. Witches, cats that can talk, people that are super kind, the towns adorable, tons of nature, cartoons, a guy that is cool and I think has a blimp or something. I don't remember that guy. Anyway, you could fly.

This world sounds pleasant. Oh, it's the most pleasant. Anyway, you can fly. You can fly? She's flying on a broom, right? I can fly on a broom with my cat who also rides on my broom. Wow. And girls get to move out at 16 and there's no threat to them.

They're free. See, this is the way my brain works. It's like, oh, you're safe, huh? You're telling me you don't have to worry about being raped and murdered all the time? Count me in. Which is a lot like why you picked Willy Wonka's world. Yeah. Yeah, because just murder.

Right. No one rapes in Willy Wonka. And it's equal opportunity murder. I bet they do. No, don't. Don't. Don't. I've already picked it. I can't undo it now. I bet there, because just murder. No one rapes in Willy Wonka. And it's equal opportunity murder. I bet they do. No, don't. Don't try to do it now. I've already picked it. I can't undo it now. I bet there's a room there. A room? Only the geese laying the eggs. Hey,

vegan joke. Anyways. Oh, wow. Commentary. Guys, Google it. Maybe you don't know about the emuls, but I do know about vegans. I have not seen any Miyazaki movies, and that is a shame. Dude, I'm not going to say any other ones in case you're wondering. I also haven't.

I own Totoro. That's another movie someone might pick, but I'm just going to go for it. Spirited Away, dude? Spirited Away? You kidding me? Well, I figured if we haven't seen them, then you're the only one left that would pick one. And I was like, well, maybe you will. Oh, no.

Yeah, fuck you, Ify. Fuck you. Yeah, fuck you, Ify. You're into La La Land from me. Oh, no. From all of us. That's all I got to say about it. maybe you will no no fuck you Ify fuck you yeah fuck you Ify you're in Chihuahua land from me oh no from all of us that's all I gotta say

about it let's that's bye next I gotta watch more Miyazaki bye alright

I'm done now goodnight okay I will leave farewell cool so great moving on from Miyazaki's last pick

now we are at Ify okay so you know Ify's last pick really rounded out this with some banger live action stuff. We got Fast and Furious. We had Harlem Nights. And then recently, Harry Potter. I'm going to let you know some of the ones that didn't make the list.

We do that at the end. Oh, yeah, that is true. That is very true. So I will let you know the one that didn't make the list. We do that at the end. Oh yeah, that is true. That is very true. So I will let you know the one that didn't make the list. Miel was about to attack me. Everyone at home, I want you to see. She was ready. I had fists ready, both hands. She has two swords. One's on fire, the other's covered

in ice. I borrowed them both from Ian. They're both screaming the Rite of the Valkyries. She did that thing that Harry Cavill does in Mission Impossible. She like reloaded her arms, ready to fucking punch him. Oh man. Just so you know, it's there. I'm going to close this out because I want at least one animated movie.

And I was thinking animated worlds. There were a lot of good picks. But I think the one that I really want to be a part of is All Dogs Go to Heaven. I thought for sure you were going to say a Dragon Ball Z movie. Or like Akira. And I thought you were going to say a Dragon Ball Z movie or like Akira. And I thought you were going to say Rock-A-Doodle. Chant-A-Clair! All dogs go to heaven. Yeah, because Dragon Ball

Z was interesting. It was on the list at one point because you can get strong but too many planets get destroyed as a whole. But all dogs go to heaven. Even if I do die, I go to heaven. With dogs! I love like, I go to heaven. Yeah. With dogs. With dogs.

Yeah. I love like, one, you get like, I'd love to be a dog just in real life. But in this world, there's like the dog infrastructure

and like society. So, you know, I get to be me as a dog. I imagine that, you know, we'd all be dog friends.

What kind of dog? In my, I think I'd be a bull mastiff. Because you're yoked. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure.

For the listeners, if he's yoked. If he is so yoked. We should have said this at the beginning, up top. If he can break a human in half, don't fact check that. But yeah, in the All Dogs Go to Heaven world, we're recording the all fantasy everything as dogs. Yeah. And you know, living our dog lives.

Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff. Ruff, ruff. Ruff, ruff, ruff. Ruff, ruff. Ruff, ruff. That is so bark. I feel Sean is a dog. Sean's a golden retriever though.

Oh yeah. Oh for sure play dog. Yeah. Or play good boy. No, oh for sure good boy. Oh for sure good boy. Oh my gosh. I feel like you're a French bulldog, for sure good boy. Oh, for sure good boy. Oh my gosh.

I feel like you're a French bulldog, Ian. Thank you. He needs a compliment. You said French bulldog and I was like, kind of like Mordecai. And I don't know why in my head I was like, Mordecai is definitely a French bulldog. Yeah, he is. You're a French bulldog. It just came to me.

I don't know. It doesn't usually happen. Like, I can't tell you what Demi is. I was going to ask what I am. It doesn't come to me. The empath energy isn't there. But the bulldog thing, I get it. You're a Jack Russell Terrier.

I'll take that. He was in there. It was percolating. He's a hyena dog. Yeah, yeah. But you're not a hyena. Because I see myself as a hyena. Because you're a hyena.

I'm the hyena. Okay, all right. I eat meats and I befriend a few humans. Oh, okay. But the few I do befriend, I don't raid their cities. Thank you. This is a Planet Earth 2 reference. See it. Anyway, sorry. But the few I do befriend, I don't raid their cities. Thank you. This is a Planet Earth 2 reference. See it.

Anyway, sorry. Planet Earth 2? What a deep cut of a reference. Do watch it. It's wonderful. Oh, do watch it. I would have chosen that if it was a movie.

I want to be a slaughtered goat. You're just like, I want to live in Africa and I want it to be slow. Yeah. Yeah. Say no more. I think that's a good pick. Yeah, that is a good pick. I like that pick. You get to be a dog. I don't remember too much of All Dogs Go to Heaven slow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Say no more. I think that's a good pick.

Yeah, that is a good pick. I like that pick. Yeah. You get to be a dog. I don't remember too much about Let's Go to Heaven. I don't either, but it's a dog world

and that seems right. I feel like there's food in it. Oh, yeah. There's like good looking food. Oh, yeah. God, I'm so hungry now. Am I allergic to dogs in the same scenario?

No, no. Oh, no, no. Fucking tight. If you're in dog heaven, that's hell. Yeah. Are you allergic to dogs now? Yeah, it sucks.

What? I'm allergic to pollen and dogs oh I'm sorry flowers and puppies dog wow dog but there's hypoallergenic dogs

and I love them okay labradoodle labradoodles is one of them Portuguese water dogs yeah the Obamas have that yes they do

yeah they also struggle with the dog allergy so in a way and many others I'm Barack Obama you're Barack Obama yeah

these are good so for my last pick I think in a way, and many others. I'm Barack Obama. You're Barack Obama. These are good. So, for my last pick, I think that I would be in the world of Wreck-It Ralph. I like playing video games. You know, I'd get to hang out with Donkey Kong. That sounds so much like Wreck-It? He would like Rocky Ralph. It's been internet.

My reach is infinite. My message of change goes through so many tubes. Tubes. Oh boy, what a good pick. My eyes hurt. She's saying I get to hang out with Donkey Kong. I'm going to listen to that over and over again. Dude, he loves Donkey Kong.

We might need to cut that out. Oh, for sure. Cut that and make it its own thing that people can download. He's throwing barrels. I'm jumping over him. Every so often, I'm stepping behind, watching him throw the barrels. And Mario, that's Joe Biden. Diddy Kong's Joe Biden.

Diddy Kong. We're racing down the mines together jumping over the bananas but Joe he's going back he's going back for those bananas and that's how we don't make it in time

and if Joe gets too scared he can high five me I'll jump to the front I'll be at the front of the car take it over at the end you have to do shaklakity as Barack Obama

at the end of the podcast oh god time for my final pick and for my final pick I'm going to take a movie as Barack Obama at the end of the podcast. Oh, God. Time for my final pick. And for my final pick, I'm going to take a movie that's come up a lot on this podcast because it's so good.

I'm taking Hook. Yes! Yes! Oh, man, that food fight. I want to live with the Lost Boys. Absolutely. You're such a Lost Boy. Bangarang.

You're such the, what was his name? Rufio. Rufio. You're Rufio, dude. I'm Rufio. Rufio. You're Rufio, dude. I'm a Rufio. I'm doing roller blade tricks. I'm eating imaginary food.

If I'm being real, I feel like David's more the Rufio. David is more of a Rufio. He is. In this group. In this group. I'm Captain Hook. You're Dustin Hoffman. I'm Dustin Hoffman.

Yeah. Who is it? Sean is Smee. Yeah, Sean is definitely Smee. Shane Torres is Glenn Close as whoever gets the boo box. The boo box. Oh, great. Y'all can go two hours.

I think he'd be Tinkerbell because she's always complaining, right? Oh, that's right. She's always left out and annoyed. Right. And that's from their impression of Shane is what I assume. Except Tinkerbell had an acceptable haircut. Oh, true, true. And wasn't it Julia Roberts?

Yeah. Yeah. Go figure. Because more than anything, I just want to exist in that food fight world. God, I know. The food looks so cool. Yeah. It's all bright colors.

And you get to live on an island, undisturbed. And you get to stay a kid forever. Right. There's nothing bad about this. There's that chubby little kid who's always talking, your marbles. Your marbles, Peter. Oh, yeah. Remember that guy? Love that kid. Makes me want to cry even thinking about it. There's that chubby little kid who's always talking, your marbles, your marbles, Peter. Oh, yeah.

You know that guy? Love that kid. Makes me want to cry thinking about it. Same. You're doing it, Peter. When I think about that kid, I think about G-Baby from Hardball.

Yeah, yeah. Kind of the same vibe. Yeah. Wait, was that that baseball movie where the kid dies? Yeah. Oh, my God,

he stars in the movie all the time. I forgot it was called Hardball. Oh, I loved that kid. You could have been that movie too. I was watching it. That was often forgotten Keanu Reeves movie.

Yeah. This role model figure. I was like, yeah, you weren't bad in that. But it's like a good movie. It's a good movie. Yeah, it does get slept on. And I remember the soundtrack song that had Sammy. Strike one right before your eyes strike two.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Yes. This is how you play hardball. It was Sammy and Mario, I think. I don't think I've seen that movie since like 2004. Dude.

Damn, that was good. Oh, it's so good. Hardball viewing party right after Demi makes his final pick. Well, we already said it. My pick is hardball. I want to die. I want to be the kid that dies. I want an alcoholic coach, and it's not fun. I am torn between three choices, so I'm just going to...

Okay, Mia, just give me a number one to three. Three. Fuck. You don't want to pick it? Yeah, and I think that helped me decide. So actually, Ify, give me a number one or two. One. Yeah, I didn't want that one either.

All right, I'm picking two. I'll give you a number between two and two. Please. Two. No, wow, I wanted one. Oh, shit. I'm going back to one. I gotta be me.

I gotta pick Space Jam, baby. Oh! Everybody get up. It's time to slam now. We got a real jam going down. I am now in Space Jam. Have you heard? What's the word?

It's a space jam. I am now in Space Jam. Have you heard? What's the word? Down in Space Jam. I like, your movie is one of the only ones where Sean Bradley exists. And I like that. I like the idea that, first of all, I'm definitely in the basketball part of it. Yeah, you're a bad guy. I may be a bad guy. I'd be fine being one of the Monstars. But I also think I'm on the team.

I'm Bill Murray in this movie. I show up and I show up i'm like oh okay i guess i'm playing basketball with you wait you have the option of being lola bunny why would i want to be because she's fucking hot i don't need that pressure in my life that's a lot of pressure that is so much pressure i don't want to go into a movie and be the hot person there There's so many eyes on me. Everyone's trying to fuck me. And I'm a cartoon. Welcome to my world. I don't want your life. Another good movie. I don't want your life. So who do you want to be? You want to be Bill Murray.

I'm thinking either Bill Murray or Wayne Knight. Wayne Knight is a clutch guy too. I think I would end up being Wayne Knight in the world. Or like Daffy Duck. Marvin the Martian. That's who I am. I was going to say you got a Marvin vibe. Yeah, space jam. I heard Marvin's room

was about him. Sure is. And I didn't sign off on that at all. I'm very sad. Yeah, that's a good, that makes sense for you. Yeah.

You play basketball. Sure. To a degree. Demi's big time into basketball. This is a lot. Every day after work he goes and slams.

Demi plays for the Clippers. I think you're setting me up to provide something, to be someone that I can't live up to. Look, if Wayne Knight can do it, you can do it. That's what I'm saying. Wayne Knight is the least athletic looking person ever. I'm the guy who brings the water into the room and it's just like, it's the magic water.

And they're like, fuck yeah. And then I'm like, actually, it was just you. And they're like, what? You made us believe in ourselves. It's called a placebo. Read about it, idiots. I know, but they don't say the word placebo

because it is a children's film. They should have said that to Looney Tunes if they were trying to make sure they were their best selves playing the top of their politics. Another sick man, by the way. Disturbed, placebo.

All the hits. Drowning pool. I thought you said man. I was like, who's placebo? What'd he do? Oh yeah, placebo Jones.

Placebo man. He was Osmosis Jones where nothing happened. That was like, who's Placebo? What'd he do? Oh yeah, Placebo Jones. Placebo man. He was Osmosis Jones where nothing happened. That was the movie they showed you to make sure Osmosis Jones was good. Control Jones. Control Jones. Space Jam,

excellent final pick. That was the draft. That was a marathon session. We left a lot of good ones on the board. The other two I was deciding between were Austin Powers. Of course, of course. I had that on my list too. And Black Dynamite.

Ooh. Yes. I had Moonrise Kingdom, Fantasia, Avatar, but obviously fucked that movie. Fantasia would be a horror show. Amelie. Fantastic Mr. Fox. Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Yeah.

Practical Magic. The Muppets. The Muppets. Oh, any of the Muppets movies. I couldn't pick which Muppet movie, so I just was like, no. The Mystic Pizza. Mystic Pizza? You don't live in New England? Eat good pizza? What about forgetting Sarah Marshall and you just live

in a resort in Hawaii? Hawaii, yep. I was on there. I had West Side Story, and I understand a lot of it's fighting, but it's a lot of good dancing. I had Pacific Rim because I wanted a giant robot. Hell yeah. Yeah Story and I understand a lot of it's fighting but it's a lot of good dancing. I had Pacific Rim because I wanted a giant robot. Yeah, you're on a different path. I feel like we kind of all went whimsy and you were like no, I want to be badass.

I had Spider-Man Homecoming just because I want to live in New York but I also want like a cool neighborhood Spider-Man who were just like, hey, do a flip. Yeah. I had three different snack based ones. No, the ones that I actually picked. Yeah. Okay. I have three different snack-based ones. What? No, the ones that I actually picked.

Grand Budapest, Hook, and the Hobbit. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Snacks are bomb. I chose Willy Wonka only to eat candy. Yeah. I don't want to actually live in that world. I just want to eat that food.

I had Lego Batman, and one part of that was me thinking, the scene where he eats a lobster and it's Lego lobster, I was like, that looks delicious. Yeah. See? Food can be a strong motivator. yeah marissa which one throw us one what's one movie you'd want to live in oh the pokemon oh yeah yeah that makes sense tight oh i can see uh someone like or i can see marissa getting frozen to stone and then pikachu fucking tearing up and being yo speaking of pikachu fucking, Mercer, have you seen Rule? Mercer, no! Is it 53 or 43?

34. 34? I'm out of lexic. 53, that's a whole other rule. For Pikachu, Mercer, it's going to blow your mind, girl. You would love it. Mercer, if I know one thing about you. Mercer's like, check my wallpaper for Overwatch porn. I had Tomorrowland, although I was like, I don't want to get into the specifics of why it's actually bad.

Yeah. A lot of Ayn Rand stuff in there. But really, I just like the idea of living in a future world. Yeah. The descendants just live in Hawaii. I had Black Panther, but I had to go against it because I was like, well, I wouldn't turn my back on my Nigerian side. So I'd have to be one of those trafficking dudes at the beginning. Oh, yeah.

You would be like, what's his name? Michael B. Jordan's dad or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You would be like, what's his name? Michael B. Jordan's dad or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sterling K. Brown. Sterling K. Brown. That's who it is. Yeah.

I had Paddington 2. Fuck it. Oh, duh. God damn it. That's such a great episode. Yeah, yeah. You should have went with that. I'm pissed now.

Marmalade. I had Kubo and the Two Strings. But I was like, a lot of that is, oh, God, it is gorgeous. Really? It's really scary. If you don't like horror movies, you're not going to like it. What? Really? No. I was like, stop it of that is, oh God, it is gorgeous. It's really scary. If you don't like horror movies, you're not going to like it. What? No.

No. I was like, stop it. He won't watch it. I'm a sweet boy full of cum. I can't take that. This movie's going to scare the cum out of me. It's just a beautiful, it's just, I don't know, beautiful Japanese claymation. I had The Big Lebowski because I thought it'd be fun and chill.

That's a great one. Another L.A. movie. Look, I love my city. You have some hometown pride. I love L.A. Like, enough to love it as much as I do, but not enough to get that tattoo of, like, the Dodgers logo on my neck. Then you're not a true L.A. boy. No, I'm very okay with not being that true.

When you guys started making pics, I had to change some of them because I was like, these are a little too practical had to change some of them because I was like, these are a little too practical. I had barbershops. I was like, it'd just be fun to hang out in a barbershop. What the? No, that could have been good, though.

It would have been so fun. We should get some barber chairs for the writer's room and maybe we can get that vibe going. Yeah. Wow. Just a lot of spinning around. I want my hair cut while I talk.

Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I thought of that, too. Beautiful. I want to live in Iceland. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I had one that I was like, this of Walter Mitty. I thought of that too. Beautiful. I want to live in Iceland. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I had one that I was like, this is hard to fight.

The Terminal. No. No. What? In what world? Why? I want to live in the airport of the Terminal that is like,

everyone seems so happy there. You can't go outside. I'm aware, but like, it's still a cool world. There's birds in there. Wally. I want to be on the rotten planet.

I think the Terminal is magic because it made something so awful as the airport seem like a nice, wonderful place. No, that was Tom Hanks that did that. That's what I'm saying. I want to live in that world where it's like, because of Tom Hanks, this airport is so sweet. That's why I almost chose Castaway. You just want to go on an island. You just want to go home.

You just want to go back on an island. The stones. I'm sorry. Excellent picks. Make sure you send us your picks all fantasy everything listeners all family everything

see that sticks is that what you call them now as of right now sure it just occurred to me all family everything all family everything that's got like a

fast and furious vibe yeah all family everything except it's way more coronas way more than they drink in the movies shout out to everyone

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Shaklakity! Worth it. That was good. That was great. Woo! that was a hate gun podcast